#I need to chill now x_x

[osatokun]

the Tree of Freedom. A scene from our chronicle, from when we met and old spirit of the abandoned caern. We spent the day under it's roots and then Charlie gave the tree his eye in exchange for its help

[gemharvest]

Everyone say thank you to the humble quesadilla Right Fucking Now.

[sapphire-heart-tippy]

I hate it when you're just having a good time and then suddenly you're hit with a nasty memory x_x

Me remembering how I left a discord server because everyone was like "don't body shame!! Body shaming is bad!!!" Then proceeded to shame my body and say they'd never date/sleep with somebody that looks like me and they kept saying "that's so unattractive yeah it's unattractive yeah" :

(fesh pince of blaire gif haha^^^)

Like, I understand everyone has attraction preferences, I do too but I'm not a jerkwad to people I'm not personally attracted to. You can't just say "don't body shame" then proceed to body shame people you're not specifically attracted to. People don't owe you attractiveness in order to get respect.

They were making fun of how small my lips are and saying I look like a corpse because of how thin I am. Then they got mad at me and acted like I was crazy when I said something like, "hey that's not really a nice thing to say." After everyone jumped all over me saying it was just a joke and that other people have it worse blah blah blah I said "you know what, I'm just gonna go." And I left the server.

I know not all servers are like that, I'm in a few right now that are pretty chill. But I'm still very nervous about joining new ones. I'll step out of my comfort zone and probably join that one selfship server that's been floating around...

It happened a long while ago and I don't want retribution or anyone to try to confront these people, I just wanted to vent.

I don't need people to hammer it into my skull that you find me repulsive. It's not going to stop me from taking selfies, it's not going to stop me from wearing makeup and jewelry, and it's not going to stop me from wearing clothes that show off my body. Yes it hurts my feelings, but at the end of the day, it's a you problem. You don't have to find me attractive, that's not what I'm saying. If you're going to flip out because somebody doesn't meet your specifications of sexy or whatever, that's... your personal issue you need to work on.

I don't stoop so low to insult another person's appearance just to make myself feel better. And do you want to know why? Because I'm actually genuinely confident and content with the way I look. If you feel the need to bring others down, especially about things they cannot fix in 5 seconds, you are not content with your appearance.

[timetakeswords]

I'm so frustrated.

I get why Language learning is the first thing to get neglected whenever my brain goes back to depressionland. It's hard, it's frustrating, I'm shit at it even when I'm running on full capacity. Also it's something I purely do for fun(tm) and so there is no other, deeper incentive to keep at it whenever it gets hard to even leave the bed. This alone is frustrating enough, especially with this latest fallout running for more than a year now (this year has been very very bad for my continued existence x_x), but I'm kinda used to it. It sucks to have to start over all the time, but oh well. At least I'm still going.

Which is where my current frustrations are coming in.

See, with working on Mental Health stuff the last couple months, a lot has happened re priorieties and where my limited motivation/energy is needed more. And with spending more time on art, better social integration and (potential) new hobbies it constantly feels like there is just no time/energy left to grapple with being shit at vocab.

And that sucks!

I know part of it comes from lack of smooth access. I've relegated language and writing actitvities to the laptop cause I can't figure out how to do both art and typing on the desktop without fucking up my spine.

But I can ALSO not figure out how to integrate "Chill on laptop" into my overall workflow in a way that doesn't make me deeply anxious (cause there are more important things I gotta be doing!!!). And when I do spontanously find a way to switch over devices, I'm faced with the choices of: Wanna read? Wanna smash your blorbos together like dolls? Wanna see how utterly stupid you are for not remembering 東京?

Guess which of these tends to lose x_x

Idk, I recently remembered that I was able to clumsily talk to people on  Tandem and now I get excited when I manage to recall basics. And part of me wants to just give up on this completely cause it's not worth the frustration and the time could be spent better on other things. Just gotta accept that languages are just not my thing and find something else to do.

Otherwise I have this laying around my to do things while not actually doing it properly(tm) and hhhhhh have a constant "you suck" reminder is what I'm trying to avoid having tbh

But also I don't wanna. I love languages too much and there is this chance that my motivation Pool increases and I've got time to learn more again as I'm improving things overall

Just....right now I hate it here :/

[newhologram]

Man, I've come so damn far with managing my pain in general over the past decade. But the sudden increase in the past 2 years from the endo upped my level of disability so dramatically. I can't believe for 2 years I was in such severe and dangerous pain, mostly without access to pain meds. And now this year I'm like, okay, I feel like I've really learned a lot and figured out another new way of operating. I haven't needed my super strong emergency pain meds (that make me sick x_x) in months. Big deal! That's something to celebrate (thank God for testosterone). But it's so hard not to get so mad about things like this. So mad that I can't just sit up like a "normal" person, even though being reclined and working on stuff is honestly a dream come true. Even if I'm flaring, I can be somewhat comfortable and get so much more done with my keyboard on my lap. It's not perfect but it's how I adapted. I know being mad about it is okay, it's a natural response to the situation. It's temporary. New chair will come, work will come, money will come, days off to rest are abundant. Even if I may never be able to afford pelvic surgery to undo the damage in there, there's so much good I have. And I have to remind myself that being autistic on top of all this makes it easier to have an unholy fuckin' meltdown when something as simple as "my chair died again" happens. I was a mess last night, it threw off my whole routine. When one little thing disrupts the routine or how we cope, it can feel like falling into a bottomless pit. All I can do right now is medicate and chill. And that's okay. I'm not "losing" time.

[goo-d-tama]

My Flop Era: Is Lowkey Serving | Act 1, Entry #16

11 August 2022

    We went bar hopping again yesterday with Okadada-San. Sorry, "yesterday entries" are getting frequent. It's actually hard to write journal entries as they happen. But this is my journal and you can't say anything about it. Lol.

    First we went to a shogun called Bamboo where we ate sashimi, steak, mochi ice cream, and that root crop thing that looks like a cross section of a loofah. The drink I was served with is a lemonade cocktail. The food and the service is a killer, as usual.

    And then we hopped to this bar/pub. that doesn't have a name. Tia Fei calls it Miyami, which is actually the last name of the owner AND its own staff. Yes, she does everything on her own. The place is private. No, not sketchy or fancy type of "private", but in a sense that you need to "schedule" and let Miyami-San Know first that you are coming. There's not even a sign or lights or whatever outside that indicates that the place is a pub, it looks like an ordinary house. Inside, the place is actually spacious but is designed to only hold few people. There is one small couch by the door that serves as lounge and then a counter that has I think only 6 high chairs. Behind the counter though is a huge display of drinks available for consumption. And there's no loud music or karaoke, just chill drinking and chitchat With Miyami-San. I was served beer, brie cheese with blueberry jam, and onigiri. I never thought to have had the best onigini ever on a pub, but here we are.

    Finally we went to... where else, Pink Pony Club! I was served beer but later switched to lime chuhai. I think from now on I'll try to cut on beer. I'm starting to grow a beer belly. x_x

    Meifei got drunk and vomited multiple times, both at the Pink Pony Club and at home. I'm surprisingly fine, thanks iced green tea, but exhausted as hell.

    Botaxie was also there. We talked about the time he visited the PH a few years ago and had a good laugh. I don't know how we were able to understand each other though because it was just the two of us on the counter. But I do remember broken English, basic Nihonggo, some sign language, pictures.. IDK. Maybe it's like that scene in Midsommar when Danny got intoxicated and suddenly was able to converse in the local vernacular. Lol.

    At around 1:30 Tito Shu came, much to our surprise, but this time he is in a good mood. He even came up to Botaxie and greeted him a konnichiwa! (Hello!) It was some fujoshi moment. Lol.

    Botaxie treated us at West Udon later to come back to our senses. I guess he's also happy with that gesture from Tito Shu. Udon btw is like the lugaw (rice porridge/congee) of the Japanese. The go-to meal after drinking.

    Last night was draining but fun as hell!!!

Read the whole thing here.

[kakashihasibs]

Is it ok to ask you gender-related questions? Because I’m kinda stuck in a phase where I’m questioning my gender a lot and idk what to do about it tbh. And you seem to have yourself figured out and you’re confident in your gender and you know who you are, and idk maybe you have some advice for someone who’s questioning. If you don’t feel comfortable answering this or giving advice, totally ok too, just ignore the ask, I don’t want to overstep any boundaries

Ur all good! I'm more than happy to talk about gender/trans stuff! ^_^ my only worry is, no matter what i say i might not be able to help you >.> bc at the end of the day only you can know these things about yourself, and the rest of us can only take you at your word.

So! I'm going to start with gender doesn't have to be a big commitment! If you say one thing today, you can say another thing tomorrow and it doesn't make either any less true in the moment you said them! Or! You just can be wrong and that's okay. There no harm committed against anyone if you end up being wrong about your gender at some point. It doesn't hurt me, a trans guy, if you say ur a trans guy and then realize ur not actually a trans guy.

Like what harm could possibly happen there that's caused by you? You took up resources? What resources? A few months of testosterone? An appointment or two with a therapist? Okay then should i be mad at the person who thought they were having a heart attack but turns out it was a panic attack instead? Should i be angry at them for causing me to wait an extra hour in the waiting room bc they guessed wrong? No that's fucking stupid.

My waiting an extra hour so someone could be taken care of isnt some terrible harm against me. Me waiting an extra month for my gender therapist appointment bc one person guesses their gender wrong isn't going to keep me from transitioning. A month or two extra wont kill me. I'm more than happy to wait if it means some else gets the care they needed in that moment. So anyway there's no harm in being wrong! Life isn't a zero-sum game.

Even if you think you might want to do something like HRT you can /try/ and stop if it ends up not for you. You can try and stop just about anything. Surgeries are harder to undo but no impossible.

I know people act like you're potentially ~mutilating~ or ~ruining~ yourself if you do anything that makes you farther from the cis ideal but that's based in cissexism and fucked up beauty standards. There are many many cis people who will have the features you might gain from HRT without ever having touched a hormone in their life. They're not "ruined" they're not "ugly" or less important or disposable or whatever fucked up wrong shit people might say.

So take the pressure off of yourself! Think about unpacking any beauty standards that might make you uncomfortable with experimenting with gender.

Early on I actually planned to never go on testosterone bc i was afraid and frankly disgusted by the idea of having body hair, but i already had dark coarse body hair. Yeah i was afraid of something i already had 🤦 bc i hadnt let go of white/western centric standards of beauty.

Also the very thing i was so worried about is what I'm happiest about now! I love having body hair 😌

You dont have to do anything you dont want to. Okay so ur a trans guy now cool! But you like ur boobs and dont want top surgery? Awesome wonderful amazing. A trans woman who likes having a dick? Excellent. Trans and too fucking lazy to do... anything? Whatever my bud it's all good bc your presentation if whatever you want to make of it.

You can start with trying on different clothes or you can jump straight to HRT (if you have a chill enough prescriber that is x_x). You can take things and leave things. Start something then stop it a day or week or 20 years later.

Bodily autonomy is bodily autonomy. That should be the basis of all of your experimenting. You want to make your body, yourself, you. Your home. Even if you question and try stuff out but decide you're cis then at least your know for sure and you're cis on purpose now 😌

Whatever you decide it must be your choice. You can go as fast or as slow as you want. Make your body yours ^_^

So tl;dr 1) take the pressure off of gender. It's not a one time commitment 2) you harm no one by being wrong 3) recognize your internalized cissexism and challenge it. 4) it's your body, life, and gender. Do with it as you will.

[hgsn-moved]

goooooood morning rowie hru this fine morning

good morning marcy I'm good so far but a funnyman blog rbed one of my posts so now I'm fending off dash urls with a stick x_x

I have plans today but I've got like an hour until I need to start getting ready in earnest so I get to chill for a while ^_^

[living-in-the-state-of-dreaming]

Since there was a scenario about yandere Chuuya, would it be alright with you if I requested one about yandere! Dazai? Maybe something like someone figured out about Dazai’s yandere tendency’s and their trying to get s/o away from him, even though they don’t wanna leave him because they really actually love him? What would his thoughts be during that moment and how would he handle the situation/ the person? I hope I explained this properly and I hope this isn’t too detailed of the idea.

Certainly! ^~^ And don’t worry you explained it perfectly! I just hope that this is alright as this is my first time writing for Dazai just like it was with Chuuya so I hope you enjoy it. I’m very sorry about the wait though. x_x 

Yandere! Osamu Dazai Scenario.

Osamu Dazai had always been good at covering his tracks. It had been one of the many reasons as to why he was so respected and feared during his time as an executive in the Port Mafia. The youngest in history. Purposely leaving bread crumbs for others to follow was but one of the many ways he had lured people out and into the open before they tumbled right into his carefully and strategically placed traps without being the wiser. It had also been one of the ways in which he had eluded the agents of the Port mafia that he knew had been looking for him for so long during the time in which he had been in hiding before going underground with the help of an associate of his. 

So when he had been approached by his darling s/o’s former lover who had spoken the grim promise as a dark glare of hatred had been over the young man’s face Dazai had nearly been impressed. The only time he’d seen that type of glare was when he’d done something to piss off the Chibi. Though he’d truly thought nothing of it and had only looked at the said individual with an innocent and polite expression, saying that he didn’t know what he was talking about as he acted none the wiser, which only seemed to aggravate the males anger even more as the glare darkened; and just for a moment he had seen the flicker of a snarl as his lips had curled for just a moment. It was that very snarl that had sent a chill of delight through Dazai as his more mischievous and devious side began to stir as the words all rose to the tip of his tongue, waiting in anticipation to be spoken for the purpose of seeing if he could get more anger out of his male. The fact that his temper only reminded him of a certain chibi’s own temper was something that only pushed on that desire. Yet, he didn’t say them and instead kept the smile that was currently on his expression. Was he threatened by this individual and the glare in their eyes? Of course not. 

Why would he be afraid of a dog? 

The only reason he had even stayed seated there was the fact that he wanted to humor this individual and out of curiosity. He’d wanted to see whether or not this person was here for the reason he suspected and he’d been right. 

“ Stay the hell away from s/o you bastard. S/o deserves better than you and I will do whatever it takes to protect her. “ 

These had been the words that he had spoken threatening, promising and clear before he had left out the door and as he had Dazai’s eyes stayed on his retreating form; before his gaze had returned down to the polished wooden floors as he didn’t speak a word. 

In truth he hadn’t taken it seriously at all. Until his darling began to ask if he had talked to the same young man, saying that he’d texted her and told her something that she clearly found disconcerting. At seeing how reluctant and hesitant she was to speak up about what he’d told her suspicion had shot down Dazai’s spine like someone had poured a bucket of ice water down it, before later being joined by anger upon reading the messages on s/o’s phone when she had been asleep. 

He had been expected some brief messages advising her to keep her distance from him, but no. No, it was far more intense and far less vague than that. The person was deliberately trying to pull s/o away from him, not simply make her cautious and from the underlying meanings beneath the words, it was very clear to Dazai that this mans intent wasn’t innocent and pure at all 

He wanted his s/o for himself. 

For a long moment dark chocolate hues had stared at the words on the phone but as each syllable sunk in the emotion drained from them before turning them cold and devoid of emotion. The only emotion left was the merciless anger only seen by those who had been unfortunate enough in the mafia and those who had been unlucky enough to have been interrogated by him. Those who worked under him had been lucky enough to walk away with their lives but those who were not….. 

The ways he could make this individual suffer began to churn like clockwork inside of Dazai’s head each one as merciless as the last and ones that would leave his life in pieces. It was a fitting punishment for daring to think they could simply take her away from him after all. 

This wouldn’t do. After all, this man clearly knew too much and wasn’t to be taken lightly. As stupid and reckless as he seemed he was still very much a threat and that was very clear with how he was already affecting his s/o. The rumors were affecting her and that alone raised red flags inside of Dazai but he knew he couldn’t act too quickly. 

This would take time and patience. Luring the mouse into their inevitable demise always did after all but until then he would need to distract and occupy his darling and chase that damn suspicion from her thoughts. He had no problem with that after all.~

As the days passed he had done just that, spoiling his s/o with his attention and taking them anywhere they wanted to go. He’d called in with the director and Kunikdia saying he wouldn’t be able to work for at least a few days but he didn’t say why he’d just called Kunikida, waited for him to pick up, said what he needed and then hung up with the same cheery and polite tone while ignoring anything that Kunikida had said. He could still picture the fuse that he’d’ve blown after getting that call and it still made him feel delighted. He had enjoyed their company just as he always had and the smile that he’d shown was completely genuine, not the pleasant and innocent one that he would often wear.

When they eventually arrived back to his apartment she was so worn out that he’d had to carry her over to the futon. As soon as her head had met the pillow she had instantly fallen asleep on the futon and he couldn’t help the smile that came to him at watching how at home and at ease she was in his company, he felt the same way after all. After so long of feeling nothing and being without hope, she’d been one of the few things that had given him it, a warmth that he loved nearly as much as he loved her. It was just a shame that that pure heart was now his, who was very far from being the innocent angel despite what his innocent and pleasant smile showed to the fools who fell for it. Still, he couldn’t help leaning down and dropping a small kiss on her forehead, doing so softly as to not wake her before he’d left the room and apartment. Quietly locking the door to his apartment behind him as he did so. 

As the cool night air met him his hands went into the pockets of his long coat, each stride being relaxed and eased as they mirrored the expression on his face. His footsteps only stopped when he reached his destination, an apartment that had not been leased in weeks, having gotten the keys from the person who owned it his fingers closed around the key before pulling it out and unlocking the door. Stepping inside before closing it behind him; the same song that he enjoyed listening and singing along with left him as he made his way further into the house. 

“ You can’t do a double suicide all on your own. Boom boom it takes two who don’t wanna die.~ “  

Making his way down the stairs to the basement area of the apartment, Dazai’s eyes fell on male seated in the chair. Arms cuffed behind his back while being otherwise bound to the chair by the rope that he had made sure to tighten to prevent him from escaping in the event that he woke up while he was away. By the looks of things the drug that he’d slipped into the males drink at the cafe had seemed to have affected him nicely since he still seemed to be out cold; however he knew the side effects of sleep that the drug had given him would be wearing off in-

Just as this thought crossed his mind the man stirs from his sleep with a quiet groan followed by the predictable groans and muffled questionings. Dazai did not respond to this however and only watched as he slipped back into consciousness before he finally broke the silence with the same cheerful and polite tone of voice he would often use. 

“ And good morning to you~ You certainly woke up sooner then I thought you would. “ 

As soon as he said this the male’s eyes widened with shocked fear while his body had stiffened before quickly looking up only for that same glare to return to his eyes. He didn’t say anything though and instead, he gave a tug to his wrists. A lot of good that did, it was a feeble attempt really since there was a very small chance that this male was going to be able to free his hands from the cuffs that he had purposely tightened around his wrists but still Dazai continued to watch as he attempted, before inevitably giving up. 

“ Let me go you son of a bitch! “ 

The biting words that escaped this person’s lips as the snarl was now clear on his expression made a smirk comes to Dazai’s expression as his eyes darkened. Yes, this was what he’d seen, he knew this would happen, the prey always bared its teeth and tried to intimidate its captors by showing its teeth. How many times had he seen it on the faces of those who they had captured for interrogation? This man reminded him of the many who he had put in a similar place. A mixture of his former partner whom he couldn’t stand and those who he thought of as little more as dirt under his shoe. 

“ I’m sorry but I’m afraid I can’t do that. “ 

The words escaped him smoothly and politely but the dark undertone in his voice screamed louder than the words that left him. He could feel the uneasiness that settled inside of the other male as the silence that he was met with in response spoke louder than any protest that he could’ve given him; and it was one that he currently found himself reveling in as he began to walk over to where he was sitting. 

“ When you approached me at the cafe I really didn’t take it seriously. I was going to ignore it and brush it off, after all, why would I be threatened by you? But then you just had to go texting s/o about my past. Even going so far as to try to take her for yourself after implementing your little plan. “ speaking in an exasperated tone of voice before stopping only when he was standing directly in front of him. As Dazai stood in front of him, his taller frame towered over the others bound and restrained figure before him, the same merciless coldness that many had seen overtook any trace of a smile as anger was the only thing that remained in his eyes and as he spoke again; his voice was now devoid of anything else. Mirroring the cold anger that could be seen in his eyes perfectly. 

“ Did you really think that I was going to let that slide? “ 

If the fear that came to his mans face said anything it was that he was now deeply regretting his decision and he should because he certainly wasn’t here to just chat with him. He’d drugged him, kidnapped him and devised this entire plan all for the purpose of teaching this guy a lesson he would not soon forget and this wasn’t even the best part, but fortunately for him, he was mere moments away from being able to get to that. The thought alone made a smirk come to his expression as the same look remained in his eyes “ Not that it matters. After all, there wasn’t a single person that didn’t talk or break for that matter after I was through with them. You won’t be any different. Although “ raising one of his hands before placing the other on his forearm the sounds of his knuckles cracking sounded through the room  “ Just for you I’ll personally take my time in making it agonizing, it’s the perfect punishment for you trying to take my s/o after all. “ 

[blackcatanna]

LET THE ORGY OF SADNESS CONTINUE: Okita's Route Part 3: Edo Blossoms

I'm very interested to see how this plays out. Tbh, I don't really get this relationship yet but that seems consistent with how I felt before Edo Blossoms in the other routes so, yes, I am excited! :D I hope that Kaoru doesn't die X_X I want at least one route with Kaoru redemption but I am not at all optimistic...

Chapter 1:

"Something else entirely had me preoccupied..." Could it be... one spicy, stabby boi?

Wait, are we... LIVING TOGETHER? 👀

Quick question: do silver bullets affect demons or just furies?

BWWWWAAAARRRP!!! PHYSICAL CONTACT ALARM! "I held his soft, trembling fingers in my hands," Whoa there. Please calm down. I cannot allow this level of unbridled eroticism in my Good Christian Suburb.

In all seriousness, though, I GUESS this is SOMEWHAT sweet and romantic but I want everyone to know that I'm saying this under duress. >:( If I fancied him, this would wring the fuck out of my heart.

"Are you sure? You aren't just saying that?" Glad to see that Doctor Chizuru studied under Doctor Gregory "Everybody Lies" House.

"Why is it that you're always here when I wake up?" If you can't figure it out, I sure as hell am not going to tell you!

"Okita seemed to take pleasure from my surprise, and he stared into my eyes." X_X Of course he did... Because he loves to provoke reactions.

"Answer me." MAKE ME >_<

"looking off to the side in a fit of feigned indifference." < Okita in a nutshell

Is he upset because I said that I was here because of worry and guilt? Because, tbh, fair enough. Those were pretty dumb things to say, making out like it's a burden instead of admitting that I actually like being around him >:(

"Well, I guess that's fine then." X_X Oh, come on! Don't use the f-word on me like that! D:

"She's lying." YAMAZAKI!!! >_<

"Look, I know you can't stop thinking about me, but this whole doting-all-day-and-night thing is tiring." Called. The fuck. Out. X_X

Tbf, it seems kind of hypocritical to be fussing over someone while refusing to let them even inquire about your own health. Plus, it's a very one sided arrangement, which is not healthy X_X

"stop throwing a bitch fit" XD Okita is my new hero :')

"I didn't know that my behaviour became a cause for concern for them, too." Then, perhaps, you are foolish and inconsiderate -_-

O: Okita!?? Did he faint?! O_O

Woo! Going on an adventure with YAM! :)

There had better not be any creepy bald fuckers waiting in mah house! >:(

Are all doctors bald in 1860s Japan????

I'm so happy that Yamazaki's still alive in this route :) TOUCH WOOD.

"*Grunt* *Cough*..." Ah, I knew it was only a matter of time before I caught tb -_- (jk)

No, never split the party! D:

"However the price to pay is life itself." DUN, DUN, DUUUUUUUUUN!!! So much for it granting "immortality"

"the poisonous Water of Life" uh... Isn't that kind of an oxymoron X_X

"Retaining your sanity is impossible without feasting on blood." Ah, so all along, the Shinsengumi were just feeding the furies a poor diet.

O: ):< WHO DARES THUMP MY YAMAZAKI?

Of course. It's fucking Kaoru -_-

Blah blah, sadistic fuckery, blah blah. I'm starting to get real tired of your shit, BROTHER.

"Was he trying to play a trick on me?" -_- probably, yeah.

Wow, that's... Actually pretty helpful? Thanks!?

Okay, the doctor folk have gone! I give Okita delicious blood now? :)

Oh. HE GAWN!!! O:

WHY ARE YOU UP AND DRESSED? >_<

"Sleeping all day is such a drag." True, so DRINK MY BLOOD AND GET BETTER >:(

Bloodlust time :O Good thing I'm a walking blood pack! :D

"How long have you been doing this?" Uh, haven't you been watching over him night and day?

"I wrapped my arms around Okita and held him tight " BWAAAA- Okay, yes, physical contact. Hug = gud >:(

"Pease, drink this " DRINK THE BLOOD >:(

"I could feel his breath brushing across my skin..." o_o Saucy...

Why are the blood drinking descriptions so erotic XD I mean, I'm not complaining but-

Who is this strange, apologetic man?

Blood > Porridge

Heh heh, apparently, Hijikata acts "all hoighty-toighty"

Oooh! Looks like Okita's trying to break free of his diligent YAM nursing...

"I am calm" Okita, last time you said that, you went on a killing spree...

Ooh, I wonder why Yamazaki and Okita don't get along... I remember seeing a picture somewhere with casual Yamazaki abuse in the background...

"Okita was acting like a petulant child, throwing his toys out of the pram..." X_X Sexy...

"Do you think the Shinsengumi still needs me?" HONEY, the Shinsengumi needs all the help it can GET!! O_O

Omg, Yamazaki's threatening to tell on Okita! XD He's playing a dangerous (and childish) game!

Side note: the painting in Okita's room is distracting me because it kind of reminds me of the dead mice my cats bring in on a regular basis.

WAIT, IT'S A FISH!!! X_X A NICE, INNOCENT LITTLE KOI FISHY X_X I need to stop spending so much time with my cats...

"What, already? Can't I stay up just a little longer?" Hakuoki: Mum simulator!

"I'll turn in on one condition..." Oo-er :O

"Okita grinned mischievously, and he peered directly into my eyes." O_O OO-ER!

"My palms became sweaty, and my heart skipped a beat." IT MUST BE LOVE O_O

"Since you're here, mind laying down next to me?" DUN DADA DUN! *fanfare plays* We got there in the end, folks! :D

DON'T YOU DARE SAY NO XD

"That's not a funny joke." True. And the only way to teach him a lesson is to PRETEND to take him seriously by DOING AS HE SAYS >:)

"You're so dense." FACTS.

WELL DONE, CHIZURU, YOU DONE COCK-BLOCKED YERSELF, I said, berating the fictional character as if that's not totally something that I would do in real life ..

"Okita blushed, turning away in embarrassment." O: CTRL+Z CTRL+Z CTRL+Z ):<

"I want to, erm, talk to you for a little bit longer..." Oh, we can "talk" all night long ;)

"Talk...? With me?" But I'm only a stupid woman, huh dur, with naught to say but um and er! Actually, Chizuru does say ""um..." I couldn't think of anything to say" in this route A LOT so maybe FAIR PLAY.

Just realised that I accidentally made a rhyme.

"Okita sighed, frustrated" HONESTLY, ME TOO.

"How clearly do I have to spell this out for you." I'm beginning to wonder that myself. He just wants some company, Chizuru! Is that SO HARD to imagine? X_X

"He began to run his fingers through my hair." Oooh! Physical contact :3 Chizuru = pet cat!

"as the tip of his finger touched my skin, my heart skipped." Yeeeesssss... Feel the thirst flow through you... 3:)

Are we gonna get a thirsty Western uniform pan, now? :P

"I tried facing him directly, but for some reason my heart was thudding in my chest..." :O Oh my! I cannot think of a possible explanation! You should get that checked out! >:P

"you find me sexy right now, don't you?" AH-HAH! >:D Caught red handed!

Ugh, can't believe he tricked me into saying he looks good. >:(

UGH. Doctor Matsumoto still needs to perform a final exam on Okita?! Just let him go already X_X

Wow, has Okita been seething against Hijikata this whole time? That... Can't be healthy -_-

"Okita had the tendency to act rashly and avoid looking at the bigger picture, particularly when Hijikata was involved." No shit. He's going to be such a handful X_X

"You're coming, right?" Of course. I'm not just going to sit around here while everyone I care about gets killed O_O besides, you need my nutritious and delicious blood to keep you nice and healthy ^_^

"she can't keep her eyes off me for long enough, to the point where she'll follow me wherever I go" Yeah, because that's how you win at this game >:P

"Aw, is that some blushing I see? It's the truth." Yup.

"Well, yeah," SHE ADMITTED IT!!! 8D

"So, Yukimura. It appears you have some feelings for Okita, is this true?" OH, FRICKING GREAT!!! NOW I'M BEING INTERROGATED BY MY DAD'S EX- COLLEAGUE ABOUT MY LOVE LIFE X_X IF THE GROUND COULD SWALLOW ME NOW, THAT'D BE GREAT! OKITA IS SUCH A DICK XD

OKITA. STOP.

Doctor, why you gotta be so serious? O:

"Criminy..." Uh... Is that a real word?...

Omg, it is a real word! I have never heard anyone use it but, tbf, this is the 1860s :P

Okita needs to stop saying that every decision that Kondou makes that he doesn't like is because Hijikata "coerced" him. He's a grown man. He can think for himself. Please respect his autonomy X_X This is not healthy.

Uuuuuugh. Kaoru >_< Seriously, get a life!

"I'm here to watch the Shinsengumi flail around like pathetic losers as they watch their friends die." ... KAORU, THAT DOES NOT COUNT AS A HOBBY >_<

"Looks like you made it in time for the show, though. You'll be able to witness the glorious execution of the Shinsengumi's idiot chief." Or, in other words, we arrived in time to try and rescue him >:)

"You look nice. All your little boo-boos patched up?" Uhh... There's a lot to unpack here...

"Okita reveled in the vicious display, allowing Kaoru's blood to shower him as he swung repeatedly at the Demon." O_O Umm... Okita? Maybe CHILL THE FUCK OUT. O_O HE IS MY BROTHER, YOU KNOW?!

Aaaand, seemingly Kaoru's going to milk that fact... -_-

Did he... Stab me in the mouth?!?? What am I looking at here? X_X

Also, why doesn't he just activate his demon form!?!

Wait, is he feeding me the Ochimizu?!

Kaoru says that the water of life will eat away at Okita's body faster than if he'd just succumbed to TB but that's clearly not true if he's living long enough to see the end of the Shinsengumi. Plus, a short life of action is better than spending the rest of your days fading away in a sickbed.

"Okita comforted me with the soft tickle of his hands as they wiped away each tear with a warm touch." :3 Pretty darn wholesome! I will concede this point!

"you're a sweetheart." :3 Thank.

"You're a good girl" And am I supposed to wag my tail at that? X_X

"I... I am in love with Okita." O: Damn, that'll go straight to his head X_X

"more than anything or anyone" not that that's saying much :P Sorry, romantic moment, must resist shit talking urges!

"I believed that if I died, no one would give a shit." </3 O: )': DX Neveeeeeerrrrr!!!!

I prescribe HUG INJECTION >:(

"You look like shit" -_- Way to kill the mood.

"Here, come closer." :D Okay, I forgive you! <3

Oh, he played the uno reverse card on my hug plan :O

"How could I keep myself calm when the man I loved held me delicately in his arms?" BIG. MOOD.

Awe, he didn't kill Kaoru because "my heart knew it didn't want you to hate me..." <3 <3 <3 >.<

"My heart melted." SAME.

Chapter 2:

Damn, we're only on Chapter 2 and things are already getting pretty fluffy...

"Do you want me to sleep next to you?" DO IT. XD I dare you :P

"I wonder if Okita thought of me as nothing more than a silk kimono and a warming stone, as if that was all I could offer..." Girl, come on! Don't sell him short like this! Oh, and tell me more about what you want to offer him 3:)

Well, it looks like blood is the answer, for now O_O

"Y-You're not gonna offer me a-any blood today? Trying to play hard to get?" -_-

"his warm mouth drew my blood into his full, tender lips." X_X Sounds like someone needs a cold shower...

"I'm a diseased freak with no hope for the future." D: Don't say that! Everybody dies eventually! You still have strength to achieve the things you want and we can still be happy together! :'(

"I will be by your side, Okita... No matter what." YUS >:)

SEN!!! <3

"Would it have killed you to at least write us a letter?" O: I'm sorry! X_X

Ha. Bold of you to assume that Kodo's continued research might be in your favour.

"Kondou has surrendered to the Imperial Army." O_O OH FUCK.

And of course Okita is blaming Hijikata X_X

"You are making assumptions, most of which are uninformed" Yeah, you tell him, Sen-bae!

I still don't see why we can't at least try to rescue Kondou >:( Are we just supposed to sit tight and wait for him to be executed?!??

" I'm sure that Kondou would be very unhappy to hear his life was saved at the cost of Okita's." >:( And I'm sure that he would be even more unhappy to hear that Okita spent the rest of his days confined to his bed, in misery and anguish. >:(

The dream was pretty wholesome :'o

I guess protecting the things that are important to Kondou, like his legacy, is more important than protecting Kondou himself. Kondou entrusted his legacy to Okita, and so his efforts might be better spent elsewhere, rather than on rescuing Kondou. :'( That's up to him, though.

HUG ALERT!!! 8D

"No matter how many times he touched me, I couldn't have imagined ever tiring of the sensation..." XD The thirst is real!

"Y'know, ever since you came into my life, I've always given you a hard time..." WHERE IS THE LIE?

These two assholes in each other's arms, like "Welp, I'm not going to give you the satisfaction of telling you that I love you so we're just going to continue this totally not heterosexual hug right now and stfu."

:D I am happy to see Hijikata! However, I know someone who may feel differently -_-

"Would you like me to wake him." O_O Nooooot a good idea, Chizuru!

"Without me to blame, I doubt he'll have anything to motivate him, and I'm worried he'll lose the will to live." :O Hijikata, that's kind of sweet in a fucked up kind of way but you underestimate the power of LOVE >:)

THIS HAD BETTER NOT BE FUCKING KAORU AGAIN!!!

:O Kazama and Amagiri?! I was beginning to think that Kazama had lost interest in me. Or, at least, hoped he had.

"This evening... Isami Kondou was beheaded." I just gasped out loud! Kondou, no! D':

OMG, IS CHIZURU TRANSFORMING INTO A BADASS DEMON?! 8D 8D 8D

"A woman who has sullied herself with the water of life is unworthy of my love. Consider this over." ... IF I KNEW THAT THAT WAS ALL IT TOOK, I WOULD HAVE DRANK THAT FUCKING CONCOCTION YEARS AGO >_<

"You are dead to me." GOOD.

Awe, Okita! :'(

NOW I'M CRYING, TOO D'X Damn this game DX

Chapter 3:

Chasing down the Shinsengumi >:) ... Again! If this is anything like Kazama's route, this is going to be depressing af...

We're like two fuzzy wood creatures, going from cozy spot to cozy spot to snooze in during the day :')

"Be a good girl," >_< Staaaaaahhhp!!!

"They went thattaway!" XD I know that this situation is pretty dire but that sentence makes me chuckle!

"Fight...? You?" Ye bitch! >:) I got me my ochimizu powers now!

"How dare you, you bastard!" UM. YOU ATTACKED US!!! WE WERE TRYING TO HAVE A NAP!

*Slash, slash, squelch, splat* X_X

"Ahahaha! You're just helpless pigs!" -_- Uh, Okita? Calm the fuck down, k? You're starting to sound like Kazama!

"his sadistic display of sword mastery." Yup, they be the right words -_-

Ugh, I got shot. Probably shouldn't have been standing around doing NOTHING X_X

D: I killed a guy! GUYS, CHIZURU JUST STABBED SOMEONE IN THE HEART, COME AND SEE!!! :')

"Chizuru, you're trying to hard." *Hides guide* I don't know what you could possibly mean :) :) :)

:O a kunai?! Could it be... my boy YAM?!

YAM!!! :'D

"I just assumed you died or something." Okita is the queen of tact, as always :')

Wait, Yamazaki, don't stay behind on your own O':

NOOOOOOOOO O_O

YAMAZAKIIIIIIII!!!!

OMG HE'S OKAY!!! 8'D 8'D

"I... Cannot afford to die yet..." Doesn't stop you in most routes, though, does it? X_X

"This doesn't look good..." Oh no! Is he going to succumb to his injuries off screen?! D': Classic Yamazaki D,X

"You've been spying on us for days, and I didn't even notice." :') That's our Yam boy!

Aw, Okita gave Yamazaki the thank you!

I reeeeeaaally don't think that Kondou would want Okita to murder Hijikata X_X

"I am going to be late, but I promise to return." YOU HAD BETTER. >:( DON'T DIE, YAMAZAKI!

Owl <3 Hoot hoot to you too, my friend!

Don't kill Hijikata, you dumbass. -_-

"A penchant for violence" X_X That's Okita all right!

It would be funny if he were drinking from Chizuru's foot, instead... Just, something about the way he's holding her hand invites that image XD

FOR FUCK'S SAKE!!! WHY DOES A BATTLE HAVE TO ERUPT EVERYWHERE WE GO!?!

"Okita grabbed my hand" 8D < Happy Chizuru!

Wait... I'M GETTING BLOODLUST?!? MONSTER CHIZURU IS UNLEASHED >:)

Oh, I guess not. Kinda disappointed, tbh XD

Ugh, can we just catch up to Hijikata already? Let's get this over with.

Wait, his sister was "wedded off to some deadbeat"!?! I wonder how old she was... :/

"I was bullied and given shit all the time." :'(

The CG of Okita giving Hijikata the evils is BEAUTIFUL! X'D

"He was a rich snob" somehow, I doubt that...

Wow, Okita really is seething with passionate jealousy for Hijikata... Even though Kondou gave him the sword X_X

I feel like Kondou's relationship with Hijikata is different enough than Okita and Kondou's that Okita's intense jealousy seems a bit much...

It sort of feels kind of like a kid being jealous of their dad's new girlfriend X_X

MORE HUGS >:D

"Before I knew it, you slithered your way into my heart..." That's a pretty weird but also adorable thing to say X'D SLITHER SLITHER

"And you know just what to say," I KNOW, UNCANNY, RIGHT :) :) :) *hides guide*

"We couldn't help but succumb to the hypnotic lull of our passionate embrace." XD Does this mean a fade-to-black is coming :P

I love that their following Hijikata tracks like they're hunting the wild Hijikata beast XD

Is he all alone?

Oh, he has a bodyguard XD

Really inappropriate time to mention this but this route makes Hijikata seem more attractive to me than before XD Maybe it's because of the contrast with Okita's sadistic, violent, volatile side... Maybe it's because he seems more vulnerable when being berated by Okita, idk XD Leave Hijikata alone, Okita!

"You could have saved him!" But Hijikata has RESPONSIBILITIES. He can't just abandon his men and their cause to save Kondou, even if he wanted to :'(

"I COULDN'T!!!" Yeah, you tell him, Hijikata >:(

OKITA, DON'T PUNCH HIS BEAUTIFUL FACE!!! I mean, uh... XD

Wait, we're not going with the Shinsengumi?! O_e

"Hijikata's a real dumbass, don't you think?" -_- .......NO!

Kondou reading to tiny Okita = mega cuteness!

"If I never met Kondou, there's no doubt in my mind that I'd be waaaaay more cuckoo than I am now." And nobody, NOBODY WANTS TO SEE THAT O_O

"You and Kondou are pretty similar" Obviously, that's a compliment and I'm super flattered but I reeeeeaaally hope that this relationship isn't just because Chizuru reminds him of Kondou XP

"My heart suddenly melted in my chest." What, again!?! Chizuru's heart had been through A LOT during this route -_-

"To be fair, it was a little strange of Okita to compare a woman he loved to a man he viewed as a father..." <<< See?! :P

Skipping off, hand in hand :')

Chapter 4:

Aw, tiny Chizuru sadness flashback </3

It's unthinkably awful, what happened to the village, but revenge =/= genocide.

Chizuru, y u lie? -_-

"There were men who took pleasure from their evil deeds." And demons, too... And Okita, to an extent XD

Ugh, I bet Kaoru's gonna sneak up on me while Okita's gone and be all, "Yeeeeesssss.... Give in to your anger... Feel the hate flow through you..." Fucking annoying hate goblin child.

OH, LOOK WHO IT IS!!!

"You're a real bitch, you know that?" Oh, I'M A BITCH??!! Sure thing, tiny asshole. -_-

"At long last, we can come together. We can be the siblings were born to be." ... Happy and free from the burdens of hate and bitterness? O_O

"We are going to massacre the evil forces conspiring within this country, for the good of our people." ... What people? The dead ones? Yeah, I'm sure they'll be reeeeeeaaal grateful from their graves. Sounds like you just want an excuse to torment some humans, you sadistic piece of shit -_-

"Suddenly, I craved blood..." OH HO!

"I... I craved Okita's blood..." 'Sonly fair >:P

"my entire body screamed to tear Okita limb from limb." 8O Yikes.

I... Kinda want to know what happens if I give in to the bloodlust... 😏

Buuuuut I gotta endure it. Damn.

Oh, it's cold up North, is it? ;P What can we possibly do to stay warm in bed?

PENGUIN HUDDLE is hopefully the answer.

<3 :D Looking up at the stars together!

"I want to make your wishes come true. All of them..." :D Okita is every girl's dream sexy murder genie :)

""If you still plan on walking away from me and everything you have..." Okita reached his hand to me kindly." :) :) :)

"Then, I will kill you " FFS XD THIS BITCH!!!

I bet we're gonna kiss now or something. Damn that sexy murder genie X_X

Oh, no kissing, just crying XD That's... Actually more appropriate, even if they are happy tears :')

O WAIT, "I grabbed ahold of him madly" ...

SMOOCHY SMOOCHY >:)

"For once in my life, I felt whole," Awe </3 "the thought of which nearly brought my tears." BITCH, UR ALREADY CRYING XD

"each breath between our zealous smacking grew more strained and sensuous." O_e ... Uh, what did I just read? XD XD XD

"now that Kondou's gone... I only have one reason to fight." Uh... I have a feeling that it's a Chizuru reason... He really needs to find his own motivations, instead of just attaching himself to the causes of people who give him attention. Okay, that was a bit harsh. X_X I'm sorry, Okita!

"How about another kiss, huh?" "B-but, um... W-we just kissed..." ... SO!?! GIRL, YOU KNOW YOU'RE HOT FOR HIM!

"I'm askin' you if you'll have me or not." ... When he says "have", does he mean . . .

"Well, I think there's a time and place for everything." ... Damn. Is this game suggesting that if I say yes, I'm a slut and he'll think less of me? XP BOOOOOOO!

"Watching you squirm like that makes me want to play with you even more." XD As I predicted: Big Dom Energy!

"As long as I will live, I will crave your touch..." *Munches popcorn* Just screw, damn it!

"Our plump lips smeared against one another, and he pulled at a fistful of my hair, drawing me deeper into him as he bit forcefully into my lower lip." :O ... Kinky! >:P I totally called it XD

"I do not mind putting up with anything you might do to me, Okita." How... Romantic?? O_e Just admit that you're horny, Chizuru! There's no shame, I swear!

"I bet when I'm gone, you'll sob like a baby." :'O YES. OBVIOUSLY. >:'(

"Okita spooned me," Classic XD

Ew, Kodo.

"You look pale. Please do not tell me that you have been refusing to drink blood." XD Thanks for your concern...

Bless Okita for offering himself as an all-you-can-eat buffet X_X

"If I were to commit to this relationship, then it meant I needed to separate myself from my family." DRAMAAAA! :D *Pulls out another bag of popcorn*

"I have no desire to carve a life that comes at the expense of hurting others." PREACH B)

[sapphire-heart-tippy]

Hello Pillar Fam! I stumbled across your blog through a mutual and fell in love 💖😍💖 Your art is so cute and Tippy is even cuter! Tell me more of your head canons and how your OC and Wamuu met. Use this chance to blurt about your blorbo! THX!!! Has a great day 😊

Heeeyy!! Thank you so much 😭💙💙

Alrighty here goes!

The Sapphire Heartverse is a fun little nonsense au where most of the characters are all in the same timeline due to somebody's stand messing up the universe and timelines. Everyone learned about this and tried to adapt with what's going on. The universe takes place in modern times and has resulted in a lot of time period shock from certain characters. I also would like to apologize for things that are ooc or incorrect or very non-canon, this universe is all just for fun 💙

Alrighty SO- One day Wamuu found a small injured human who got into a fight with another stand user. Instead of eating the creature, he decided to carry the poor thing to safety. The Pillarmen were a bit less concerned with going about their usual plots and more concerned with why they have shifted into this strange timeline. Wamuu shows Esi his new human pet, Esi is cool with keeping the thing but Kars gets angry. Kars tells Wamuu to get rid of the scrawny, dirty, little thing and never bring their kind back to their home. Wamuu is like,"But daaaaaad," okay maybe not exactly like that but you know-

Kars lets Wamuu keep the human and nurse him back to health on one condition. He makes sure the thing doesn't cause trouble.

So over time, Tippy does get into shenanigans, resulting in passive aggression and sarcasm from Kars. Luckily Esidisi seems to be charmed by Wamuu's little human buddy. As Wamuu and Tippy get closer and he gets more healed up, they start developing feelings for each other and it's pretty obvious.

Kars tells Esi that they need to put a stop to it. Esi on the other hand.... Thinks it's sweet. Kars refuses to see it as anything but disgusting, a human and a pillarman, ugh! .... But Esi charms Kars a bit and sings a sweet romantic song about how love is a beautiful thing 🥺✨ Kars, of course, joins but only to act as the foil to Esi's hopeless romanticism. All this is happening while Wamuu and Tippy are exploring the "kingdom" at night and rolling around in the grass, looking at the stars and finally they end up kissing. Kars sees how happy Wamuu is and decides that maybe the human man isn't so bad after all... But he still has his huffy moments with him 🤭

Er well- yeah... (Tippy knew the pillar dudes before Dio and the gang actually!)

In the mansion:

Wamuu visits every now and then to see his partners! There is a ring Tippy and Wamuu have that can open a portal. But this portal works pretty weirdly. If Wamuu wants to visit Tippy, he opens the portal and walks through, the portal closes and Wamuu is now where he is. If Wamuu wants to go back to where he was before, they both have to open the portal so he can leave, otherwise it'll just open back up to where they are now x_x it's kind of confusing but they get the hang of it!

Wamuu started off as friends with Dio and Vanilla, but they all soon became a... quartet? A polyamorous quartet? Eh? *men singing in the background* yeah that's it! Dio just wants to chill for the most part, or go out to the club. So it's mainly Vanilla, Tippy, and Wamuu getting into shenanigans and Jonathan trying to be the voice of reason! Then of course, Dio inevitably walks in to find something has gone awry once again heheheh

Wamuu definitely loves his little guy though 💙 Tippy will ask to be carried around, picked up, thrown onto the couch or a bed or trampoline, horseplay a bit, but Wamuu knows his own strength and makes sure he doesn't hurt his little boyfriend 💪 He also tries to get that lazy little guy to train with him and work out. But Tippy will only work out when they go to the park and he gets on the swings, climbs trees, gets on the playground, runs around and plays tag with his partners, and gets to swim 🤣

[tarotdeckshuffle]

Hi! I thought your hcs about the bros s/o having a teen admirer were super cute, I was wondering if I could request a dabble something with the bros having an admirer who's obviously too young for him (like Iris' crush on Noct sorta, except maybe not that much younger) and she ends up asking him out all shy and sweet, how does he react?

I’m so brain dead right now. I’ve been writing my own wedding ceremony and vows all day. X_X So here’s some short drabble to end the day with. 

My first version of this had Aranea and Crowe in it, so they’re here too!

Taglist: @idiotflowerex, @laststory1013, @sayaoqueen, @jophinabean, @mysme-already

If you like what you read, please consider supporting me on Patreon or buying me a Ko-fi!

Noctis

“Er…” Really doesn’t know what to say.

Prompto and Gladio may be laughing in the background.

Would probably turn you down in the nicest way he can.

“I..think of you..as a little sibling…”

With a super awkward smile.

And would practically warp out of the situation as fast as he can.

Prompto

“Er…I think you’re…cool, too!”

Finger guns.

“Yeah! We’re more than friends, we’re super friends!”

And if you start to tear up,

He’d get super frantic.

“You and me…we’re just…too different. Yeah, the age is part of it, but…we’ve been through too many different things. Y’know?”

He really doesn’t know what to do, but he will still try to be a great friend after it all.

Ignis

Would be totally silent and stunned when you first asked.

He’d be speechless for a few moments.

“Er..I can’t…that’s highly inappropriate.”

And you’d start to tear up.

He’d take you aside, trying to figure out how to console you.

“We…We’re from different worlds. There’s so much left in this world for you and you deserve someone who’ll be there to experience it all with you.”

He’ll watch over you but give you your distance after that.

And will be genuinely happy if you find someone.

Gladio

Super awkward, but his heart hurts because he thinks of Iris.

He’ll give you a sad smile.

“You can do better.”

You can protest and he’ll just reply,

“You’re way more Iris’s type…”

He wants to treat you like an adult,

But doesn’t want to be too harsh.

If you continue trying, he’ll finally talk to you about it.

“There’s just way too much…life separating us. I couldn’t give you want you want and that would just kill me. If nothing else, think of me, ok?”

It’s a whole new perspective on things that you needed.

Ravus

“No.”

Need I say more?

He may feel awful in private,

But he’d never apologize.

Luna

She’d giggle and say something that sounds way harsher than it’s meant to.

“You’re adorable…”

Sees your face then apologizes profusely.

She’d sigh, really wanting to be kind to you.

“You know all the reasons I’m going to give as to why we shouldn’t be together, but I’m going to give you one more: You deserve someone who loves you just as much as you love them.”

Then she’d walk away.

But don’t worry, she’d likely try to hook you up with someone.

Cor

“Trust me kid, you don’t want this relic.”

You can protest all you want,

But he will flat out tell you “No” as a last resort.

There’s finally a heartfelt moment where you ask him why.

“I don’t have enough time left to give you. Regardless of what everyone says, I’m not immortal. Death is going to catch me soon, and I’d rather not get anyone involved.”

Nyx

Awkward laugh followed by “Oh..you’re not kidding…”

He’ll continuously turn you down with every excuse in the book.

“Not interested”

“Too busy”

“Not my type”

He’ll try his best to let you down gently.

Finally, he’d try to end it by saying,

“You know why I keep turning you down. We’re just…too different. But, I’ll tell you what. Meet me in the next life. We’ll try then. How about that?”

You’ll laugh as you shake on it.

Ardyn

“Truly, I’m flattered…”

Age really doesn’t mean anything to this man.

He’d be the most likely to go for a reasonable age gap, especially if you don’t look super young.

If you do look much younger than him:

“Come now! Me?! No! Really? You can do so much better! Just look at you!”

He’d try to flatter you so much you think you’re way out of his league.

If that doesn’t work, he’ll just keep turning you down until you’re of age.

Because, hey, immortals can wait.

Aranea

Would laugh!

“You can’t be serious…No.”

Super blunt.

But in her moments of tenderness, she’d try to reassure you.

“Dude, I think you’re confusing a sibling relationship for love. Just chill. You’ll know love when it finds you.”

Crowe

Raised eyebrow,

Laugh.

“You can’t be serious.”

“No.”

[worldofjonsa]

how do you think jonsa will go canon in s8? will they have a passionate fight and sansa admit her feelings? will sansa give jon a cold shoulder leading to a fight leading to confession? 2) how do you think dany & sansa first meeting & subsequent interactions would be like?would sansa be openly jealous making it obvious to every1?would dany be jealous of jon's affection for sansa?

Well, season 8 is finally here and I’m here to finally answer the questions from last year. RIP Me. X_XAnon, you already commented on a glimmer on what’s happening now in Season 8, episode 1. The sly comments from Sansa on what she thinks of Dany when she first comes into Winterfell: When they are first introduced is pretty much the stepping stone on how they’ll both interact with each other. 

OH god, the scene gave me chills. Look at Sansa slowly sizing this woman who’s next to her “brother” and his lover. She’s planning her next move carefully. What should she say next to the woman who’s family stole her aunt away from the family (From what Sansa personally believes at this point in time) and started this war? A woman who’s the lover to her brother who she cares deeply for (and maybe even more?) and the woman who wants to conquer everything that she claims as her birthright. (Winterfell included). But she says something that amazes everyone, including Dany herself. 

That look of slight confusion. Note how Dany’s blinking in surprise at how Sansa’s words somehow feel like a slight to the Mother of Dragons and Breaker of Chains. Out of context, it seems like Sansa, the Right Regent to Jon, gave Winterfell freely to this outsider, but oh no. It’s so much deeper than that. Sansa knows how to play this game. She knows how to placate a person who at a blink of an eye would hurt others if they go against their orders. I mean look at when she was going to be married to Joffery. She had to be the quiet, silk hiding steel of a girl in order to keep her head. She had to play the game just as much as everyone else did back when she was at King’s Landing. 

Way back then, even Tyrion noticed her strengths in hiding her skills from others. And she did it to survive the abuse and horror she had to deal with. 

That woman who survived the wrath and sociopath tendencies of her previous husband Ramsay Bolton. This woman is still alive and kicking despite everyone using her and thinking her still of a navie, demure woman who still believed in fairytale stories of knights, princesses, and love.  

She’s savvy in her abilities to play the game. She knows how to use her words to favor her and her side. She knows and straight up tells Tyrion that hey, maybe believing in Cersei might backfire? 

Even her confrontation with Jon speaks volumes on how she notices Jon’s behavior towards Dany. Did he really bend the knee because of Winterfell or because he really loved Dany? 

The look that Jon gives her is a mixture of: Does she know? Is Sansa right? Did I make a mistake? 

She knows how to read people. She knows Jon would do anything to protect their home. Even if it means betraying the very ally they need to win this war: 

Dany. 

And it’s obvious with the incredible camera panning between Sansa and Dany with Jon in between them that tensions are rising. See this link for more info. 

A perfect frame for a love triangle. Sansa, his right Regent. Dany, his Queen and lover. Jon is going to have his doubts about allying with Dany. The kiss between the two just seemed forced and just….akward in my opinion. Even Varys gave a hint to the audience that it won’t last for long. 

And with Jon’s parentage finally revealed it’s only a matter of time before Jon has to choose a side whether he wants too or not. Thank you for the ask! It’s been a while, hasn’t it? I’m not good with my words like other Jonsa meta/authors here, but I hope it answers most of your questions anon! 

A Bonus: 

[festfashions]

5 Tips to Beat the Heat at Hard Summer 2019

For those of us based in Southern California, we’ve been waiting for summer to hit, and now that it’s here, it’s going to be a late, long, and hot summer. Temps have been hitting 100° easily already, and if you’re like me, thinking about being at a rave in that heat is quite frightening.

But if you’re also like me, you know there’s ways to beat the heat to be ready to survive a hot weekend.

Hard Summer this year is once again going to a hot-hot-hot event. The event takes place Saturday, August 3 - 4th in San Bernardino, CA. A summertime racetrack event, there’s not a lot of natural places to escape the sun. Instead, Hard takes the time to make some chill zones, but you can also come ready to beat the heat yourself with the tips below.

And to be specific, here’s the weather at Hard this weekend. Yep. 102°. X_X

Hard’s doors open at 1PM, right as we’re approaching the hottest part of the day.

5. Pack a Water Bottle

I know this seems like an obvious one, but do yourself a favor and pack a bottle for your mini backpack, with a carabiner to clip to your pants, or invest in a hydration backpack to stay hydrated at the festival. I don’t care what you’re doing, drinking, rolling balls or staying sober, you’re going to need water -- and lots of it. There’s nothing more frustrating than having to pay $5+ for a new water bottle each time, so save your money and bring your own refillable bottle.

iHeartRaves has an awesome selection of hydration packs so you don’t have to settle for one that doesn’t match your outfit. You can still even order it to arrive to you on time. Check them out here. Just make sure it’s empty when you get to the security checkpoint.

I’ve found the hydration packs are great for a group cuz they hold a lot more water than just one bottle of water. When it’s just me, I usually am OK with one bottle that I refill and hold in my backpack.

Pro Tip: if you and your squad is driving to the festival, pack some FROZEN bottles in the car for the end of the night with even some snacks if you want. You’ll thank me later.

4. Light Layers and Sunscreen

110% pack your sunscreen. Hard’s list of what you can bring says Sunscreen lotion. It doesn’t say it has to be new or closed, which is interesting so I guess it can be already used but it says it will be inspected upon entry. This is great to me cuz sunscreen is big and expensive and you would never use a whole one in a day, so I’m glad you can bring the same one both days.

Personally I’m a big fan of the cooling sunscreen sprays on super hot days. I also think the Sport option is a good idea too because we’ll all be sweating a lot, and this helps from it just washing off. Also according to SkinCancer.org - you should apply sunscreen 30 mins prior to heading outside, and then reapply every 2 hours. I’d suggest maybe even more if you feel it sweating off.

If you’re super nervous about being exposed to the sun for long hours, pack some light, loose layers to wear. Light layers for example is kimonos, mesh tops, and of course there some real SPF options as well.

Powerful Python Sheer Kimono: iHeartRaves, $17.52 Trinity FIshnet Jogger Set: iHeartRaves, $39.95 Walkin’ On A Dream Rainbow Kimono: iHeartRaves, $29.95 Holographic Cropped Hoodie: FestFashions Shop, $30

3. Learn the Map

I feel like this is a stellar recommendation for any event, but like seriously, this is SUPER important for an event that has any extreme weather conditions. Make sure to make note of the water refill areas, shade areas and cool down zones. I’ve done you a favor of highlighting them out on this version of the map.

Also because of this crazy world we live in, please be aware of all exits from the venue, depending on what stage you are at.

2. Spray Bottles

Spray bottles and misting fans are a favorite way of mine to stay cool, and make friends! You can bring a bottle that holes 1.5L or less, and it must be empty upon entry. Just use a hair tie around the top of it, and then some ribbon to make a little hodler so you can keep it on your shoulder! I’m probably rocking this event solo, so I plan on bringing one cuz it will be an easy in to start talking to people and making friends! Just make sure to not spray anyone with a phone or nice camera!

1. R&R

R&R stands for rest and relaxation! Make sure to take a break from the crowded stage to sit down in some shade, get some food, refill your water and let your body recover. There’s always lots of food options to check out with some bomb food trucks. I love checking them all out, finding a meal then resting in the shade for a bit before I head to my next set! Try to plan ahead where your “open times” will be in between sets so that you are ready ahead of time to head to the food trucks. It’s easy to get lost in the headliners and forget to stop for a break!

R&R time is also a great time to get your photos, cuz I know you’ll be rocking some fun looks and need some squad pics to remember the day! Here’s a few accessories I love that add pizzazz to photos!

Dixie Doll Cowboy Hat: iHeartRaves, $16.95 Daft Boy Holographic Fan: iHeartRaves, $26.95 Round Kaleidoscope Glasses: FestFashions Shop, $15

Stoked to see you all at Hard Summer! Tickets are still on sale. You can buy single day, or two day tickets! The event is 1pm to 11pm each day (woo! Early nights!) There’s even city shuttles you can take, check out the SoCal locations they’re picking up here.

Remember, I’ll share my outfits each day on my IG stories so you know how to find me at the event!!

[aesthetic-survivor-of-twd]

Do you prepare for new episodes? I’m literally stressed out and have been preparing more for this episode than i prepare for school tests LMAO. All day i’ve been cleaning my room, setting up my gaming system, re watching clouis scenes and i’m about to order pizza later. this is stressful i’m so nervous whew

*hugs* I feel your pain lmao.And normally I try to prepare myself for the episodes weeks in advance, but I've been so distracted by stuff these days I haven't had time to actually chill x_xSo right now I'm just letting myself lay down and listen to music (and trying my damndest to not go to sleep for another 8 hours at least) and calm myself down.I'm refusing to let stuff stress me out today. I can't stream on Twitch so need to use shitty Steam again? OH WELL.I don't think I can emotionally handle this episode just yet? WELL YOU BETTER JUST DEAL WITH IT, HUN.I'm tired? BITCH YOU CAN GO TO SLEEP IN THE MORNING.Not today, Satan.Not today.

[tygerseye]

On Changing the World

Something in particular has bothered me really badly the last 2 days...

Also, sorry I’ve been so quiet lately! I’m trying to start my own business and get it up and going before a convention that’s happening in a couple of months X_X

So.... for those that don’t know I live in a household of 6 adults... 3 of them my husbands, then myself, then my best friend and his (their....) wife.

I say their because my best friend (born male) is claiming to be non-binary trans and has asked us all to use them/their pronouns.  Now, we’ve had looongggg discussions about why I disagree with this whole thing but I love my friend so much that I’m willing to change my vocabulary and put aside my personal opinions to give their preferred pronouns a chance.

So... what’s been bothering me is the amount of correction they’ve been doing.  I mean I understand (to a point) correcting us when we say “He....” to “They” but my problem is when I say things like “Hey do you mind manning the door?” and they correct me to say “You mean ‘do you mind personing the door?’” (I quipped back “OK Do you mind huMANNING the door?”).

This got me really analyzing the words we use in the English language that are now used as general non-gendered terms even if they seem gendered on the surface.

For example: “Hey guys!” “DUDES!”

So I realize my best friend did not know this had been on my mind the past 2 days but the conversation was brought up tonight and I had a very passionate rant about it... I came off a little too intensely and I feel bad about the intensity of my rant but I feel like I got my friend to at least think a little bit about when it’s appropriate to correct and when it isn’t.. at least I hope I did....

What we talked about:

Everyone needs to fucking chill out about colloquial terms we use in society that, although seem gendered, are no longer gender-specific like “dude” and “guys”.  Especially can’t get your panties in a bunch about words that might include the word “man” like “manning the door”.

My friend brought up our trans friend would correct a waiter in a restaurant if the waiter says “Hey guys!”.  She would say something like “Um excuse me but we’re not guys.”

I had to make the point this is rude and narcissistic to try and change the entire language.  My friend said “but she isn’t trying to change the whole language, just correct this one person” and I brought up “So you’re saying the next waiter she would have no problem with them using “guys”? What about the next waiter?  What about the next person, and next?  Does she correct EVERY person that uses the term “guys” when it’s used in a gender-less way?” of course the answer is “pretty much yeah...” which proves my point... this IS an attempt to change the language, not just one single person.

Again, it’s narcissistic and one of the problems it creates is a society that’s scared to communicate with each other.  That waiter won’t know if the next gender-questionable customer will be offended by the phrase “hey guys!” or not.  I pointed out that waiter isn’t psychic and therefor there is no WAY for them to know who’s going to be offended and who isn’t and this is how people become paranoid about just talking to other people.

My friend made a point that they understand the emotional and background reasons for why our trans friend feels the need to correct people and I said “Oh and I don’t?”

When I was growing up I always heard the phrase “Beat you like a redheaded step child!”... when I was young I used to tell people to stop using that phrase and I’d cry because I WAS a redheaded step child in an abusive situation.

Then I realized... I was trying to change the world to suit ME.  How fucking rude and unfair to the world.  I made others feel guilty for the pain that was in ME.

I realized the healthy way to deal with the situation was to change MY WAYS.  I needed to work on the pain inside so that phrase wouldn’t hurt anymore... not force others to change the way they talked.

So I brought this up... that isn’t it better for people to actually heal so words and phrases like “hey guys” don’t hurt?  My friend brought up a point about how for some people it just isn’t possible to get over something and I responded with “That has to be one of the most defeatist things I’ve ever heard.  NOTHING is impossible.  NO PAIN is impossible to deal with.  It may take time, effort, and possibly therapy and it won’t always be easy but EVERY person can get over ANY pain if they just work at it.”

Expecting others to change their language because you feel negative emotions when certain words and phrases are used is pushing the responsibility onto other people to deal with YOUR pain when the responsibility is YOURS to process your emotions in a healthy way.

See... it’s not that I don’t care about the pain my best friend and our trans friend feel when certain words and phrases get used... it’s BECAUSE I care I believe they need to find a way to deal with the pain inside instead of attempting to temporarily band-aid it by forcing the world to change how they talk.  Trying to change the world is IMPOSSIBLE so why not do something that’s possible?  Why not try to find ways to heal your pain so you no longer get hurt by words?

I completely understand and even agree with Trans people correcting someone about pronouns (IF THEY ARE ACTUALLY ATTEMPTING A TRANSITION) but trying to correct people on colloquial phrases like “Hey Guys!” and “DUDES!” and “Hey, man the door” is not only hurting society but it hurts you further since it provides an excuse for you not to identify and work out the reasons why those non-gendered phrases hurt.

Ugh I hate it when I intend to make a short post and it ends up so long... but this has been weighing really heavily on my heart lately... and I needed to get it out.