#I need them back I'm begging
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I miss them so much
#willow#fanart#willow 2022#kit tanthalos#jade claymore#kit x jade#kit jade#jade x kit#tanthamore#save willow#willow fanart#please bring them back#I need them back I'm begging
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WHO IS THIS PINK HAIR GENTLEMAN YOU JUST POSTED? HES SO PRETTY???
he's Hayate from Ride Kamens! 🦩 he is my bird son a very silly guy who's part of a superhero (well...hero-ish) group trying to take down a cult, although his real passion is lattes. also, he is very pink!
(the fancy outfit was just for a game event, alas, although I spent way too much time grinding to get the pink variant so now it is mine forever, mwahaha. >:)
#ride kamens#joseimuke games are serious business#i think koki is my favorite of the wisdoms just because he's such a little freak#(leave him alone!!! he's just a goth who wants to cook!!!!!)#but hayate is SO pink and SO silly i can't help but love him#i mean yes it's a calculated silliness but he is also just kinda silly#look SOMEBODY'S gotta be the fun one here okay#time for another night of hayate carrying the entire lounge on his back#(wisdom has really grown on me...they were probably the group i was least interested in based on the promos)#(but now i'm like yes please more of koki pretending to poison everyone and nobody being entirely sure if he's serious or not)#(and i've got THEORIES about them!!!!)#(though i do need to catch up on event stories because they might drop some ridiculously huge reveal just at total random)#(AGAIN)#(AS IS THEIR WAY)#(takahashi no stop putting important lore in totally missable places i'm begging you)#(i mean i'm loving the drama. but also.)
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first xander brought her back with human breath and determination... then willow with supernatural power and love.... smth smth two halves to keep their third in balance from drifting too far into either side and losing herself.....
#PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE I'M FUCKING BEGGING FOR A GOOD FIC ABOUT THESE THREE THAT ISN'T JUST SMUT PLEASE!!!!!!!1!!!!#I can'ttt stop thinking about them I don't even have anything coherent to say#even with other partners it's still THEM THREE they're so !!! it's just them. three. always#s7 just ruined me guys I missed them so much#still thinking about xander's stupid quip about how he always brings her back from the dead#if u tell me willow only resurrected her cause they were all insecure without buffy to throw her weight around sunnydale...#they LOVE her. so much. so so so much. they're so selfish but they LOVE her it's why they can't ever let her go they're missing without her#I despise seeing people treat the scoobies with bad-faith bc ik they're not the greatest but oh my god#they are IMPORTANT!!!!! there is no buffy the vampire slayer without willow and xander being WITH buffy#look me in the eyes and tell me tweed boy giles and lurker freak angel were going to be able to keep buffy alive all by themselves.#without xander buffy and willow are left without something firmly human to grip onto when they lose themselves in the supernatural#without willow xander and buffy are left with a gap to properly bridge them. someone to make it easier to understand both sides#without buffy xander and willow have no reason to ever grow and try and learn. to want to be more. to live up to who they can be#plus those two give buffy something tangible to fight for. it's not just the vague “world" she can't feel the affects for it's wil and xand#I need someone smarter than me to articulate this dumb post bc I can't I've tried so many times and I can't but I FEEL it I feel it#buffy summers#willow rosenberg#xander harris#btvs#buffy the vampire slayer#I tried to find their ship name and I'm actually going to KILL everyone. why don't they have one. what is going on.
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queer people will think they have a strong identity set in stone based on their past experiences and feelings and then years later have its entire foundation blasted away as soon as they think about it from a different perspective for a minimum of 5 seconds and then start questioning their entire identity again
it's me. i'm queer people. i think i just realised my identity as a demiromantic person is actually demi-queerplatonic or even some sort of demi-alterous thing instead and what i felt before wasn't actually romance and now i'm really confused about it. chat wtf is going on
#the aro -> demi -> queerplatonic -> alterous pipeline is real lmaooooo#ok i did some more thinking. i might be demialterous! the term alterous feels very close to what i felt a few years back#and it does kinda match up with how i feel about my fictional beloveds. it's a strong loving for them that is not romantic-#-but rather something else entirely that is very intense (along with aegosexual and aesthetic attraction)#idk man i just love them a lot and want to think about them getting kissed#i feel like i just hatched from a new cocoon again with this realisation lollll#feelings are weird.....#but that begs the question: if i am not demiromantic then what am i when it comes to romance?#i've used the demiromantic label for so long that i'm just really confused on what i am now that i might not be demiromantic after all#of course i can still use it if i want to because i can do whatever i want forever but also i love having accurate labels to categorise-#-my many feelings like books in a bookshelf and now i need to do some searching#i think i might be grayromantic or desinoromantic... i'm not sure yet#also i looked up the alterous flag and it looks like a derpy hooves x pinkie pie flag and now i'm just thinking about them loll#should derpy and pinkie be alterous mascots? the colours match up pretty well#man now i just wanna think about derpy and pinkie in an alterous relationship with each other#the term for an alterous relationship IS called a gummyfriend! and that fits pinkie so well#alterous#aroace#aromantic#arospec#aro spectrum#aro#aspec#questioning#demiromantic#demialterous#HOLY SHIT THERE'S A TAG FOR THAT?????#oh boy i gotta read up on that tag later
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Guys I love ragbros sm...
#Delete later#Please I need more ppl that love their ABSOLUTELY PLATONIC RELATIONSHIP and aren't fuckin weird#Normalize brotherhood#Normalize two ppl who would DIE for each other BUT don't want each other like THAT#IM BEGGING#THE WORLD DOESNT HAVE ENOUGH PLATONIC RELATIONSHIPS#DONT MAKE ME DO IT ALL#I'm not okay about them#I melt into a puddle of goo when I see them#THEY'RE JUST THAT SPECIAL TO ME#I hope one day they resolve their issues and go back to how it was#literally crying#genshin impact#ragbros#kai talks
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remember when they held hands? remember when stede asked if it was alright and remember when ed called it "perfect"? because it was perfect? hmm. agony. <3
#bring them back to me jesus please i'm begging you#i'm pleading. hands and knees#they're not gone i just need them happy#i know they're going to be happy i know it'll be okay i'm just grieving#ofmd#ofmd s2 spoilers#ofmd s2
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"semiu wlw queen of gk!!!!!" yes i agree but also. kyoka.
#arf arf#i want it from the back from the front from the side upside down inside out antigravitational in 5D in my mothers house at the whitehouse#i seriously. i need to be her kitty so bad i need her to collar me i need to beg for a place on her lap like i am seriously sick. ill.#over her...#i think abt her 24/7#i know she has 1000 straps and i want them all#not to mention her and enjin tag team... aint no way i'm being that man's pet but ... if she told me to.... ASJHKFJKS;DFJLJKAS#love semiu too tho she's also my queen#caitie blabs#gachiakuta
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it's studying season and I need an oshamir au where 4th year student Osha is caught using her phone during class by Qimir, her prof. To make matters worse, she was replying to messages about the new teacher (Qimir) and he's there.
he's reading every single thirsty and dirty thought her twin sister and friends sent to her. (rip my girl)
Osha wanted to escape but before she could bolt, Qimir called her to his office.
#Qimir is trying hard not to laugh at the unhinged chats he needs to be professional#Osha wants to die right now please let her vanish from the world#Qimir is so amused he's toying with the student with the very pretty name#The minute they arrived at Qimir's office Osha is saying every apologies she knew and begging him to please don't let her fail#Qimir: enough with the apologies I just want to know IF YOU AGREE WITH THEM DO YOU THINK I'M HOT DO YOU FIND ME DISTRACTINGLY ATTRACTIVE?#Osha: I guess..??#Qimir: maybe I need to put in a lot more effort for my charms to work on you ;)#Osha on her way back hours later: DID HE JUST TRIED TO FLIRT AT ME?
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#chronic blogging#current emotion#post-hysto pain has been getting steadily worse over the last month & is now accompanied by near constant nausea#can't even do my PT stretches anymore bc of how bad it hurts#so on monday i finally had a FUCK IT IT'S TANTRUM TIME#and checked myself into urgent care for severe abdominal pains#which finally fucking FINALLY resulted in a referral for a second opinion from a different gyno surgeon#who i hope will finally run the ultrasound & CT scan i've been begging other healthcare providers for for months#THERE IS SOMETHING EXTREMELY WRONG WITH MY BODY AND NOBODY IS LISTENING TO ME AND I'M FED UP WITH PRETENDING#THAT EVERYTHING IS WITHIN NORMAL PARAMETERS AND I JUST NEED TO BE PATIENT FOR HEALING & PRACTICE SELF CARE#watching the urgent care PA's face journey as i explained my symptoms how long i've had them & how apathetic my surgeon's response has been#was so incredibly vindicating & cathartic. she gave me a tactful 'i don't necessarily agree with that assessment......'#told me i have already been doing everything she would've recommended & we're long overdue for a second opinion since it isn't helping#and gave me her blessing to go pitch a fit in the ER if my symptoms get any worse before my appointment with the new surgeon#i'm EXHAUSTED and i'm SCARED and it's ABOUT GODDAMN TIME someone in medicine listened to me & took me seriously#been hovering in the 4-7 range on this chart for a disgusting amount of time. now i'm locked in at 8+ and not backing down
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Just saw this comment on a story posted a month ago.
*cries in Eddie Munson Solo Series no one wanted to read, interact with or request for*
No shade to the person that commented this on their own fic if you recognize it. It's not their fault. I'm not mad at them. More crying in the tags.
#and no I didn't tag the solo series like I normally would because it's not about THAT. It's not about trying to get people to read it#It was just really ouchie to see the same concept I wrote 2 years ago get triple the notes in ONE MONTH.#and double the notes of my solo series masterlist in general in one month vs 2 years of my stories sitting there rotting#Then I see people saying they need more solo Eddie and I'm just here like my dudes I begged for requests. BEGGED. But bc I wasn't#/have never been a popular writer people don't want it from ME. It's like omg we want THIS but not like that. Not from you.#Can't help but let it get you down when nothing has changed in 2 years. It's not like I worked my way up and have the interaction now#that every other blog I used to commiserate with back in the day is getting currently. Fandom isn't a competition but it's not fair either#and I really struggle with that a lot of the time#Also yes I will concede I should be happy with the notes on the solo series because they are the highest of all the work on my page but#they're still nothing compared to what some people have just hours after posting a new story.#I saw someone complaining the other day that there are less new stories in the fandom than ever 1. That's simply not true. 2. Even if it wa#can you blame writers for giving up when readers are checking the same popular blogs over again or reading the same 5 tropes the same#2 pairings over and over. The same series? Over and over. Ignoring everything else and then complaining that their faves don't post enough?#That the popular writer with the incredible series (that rightfully deserves interaction) hasn't posted a new dad!eddie or rockstar!eddie#drabble in ages meanwhile there are writes out there pouring their souls into dad!eddie and no one reads it. There is so much rockstar Eddi#smut out there that it could sustain a brand new reader for an entire year before they needed a new fic#Idk man. I'm just feeling so defeated. I write for fun now. But there was a point in time where I desperately tried to build a platform by#offering requests and writing a lot of things I would not otherwise write to try and gain traction on my page and every time I see another#food fucking fic get hundreds of notes I get so sad that I wrote that stupid Melon fic because I had people in my life that told me#they would be excited to read it and for what? One of them still talks to me. The others moved on so fast. Most didn't even reblog it.#Some of them have since written their own food fucking fics that got triple the notes of my OG. Again. No shade to them. I don't own the#concept. It's just disheartening and fucking sad above all else. How hard I tried to get people to LIKE me and my stories. 😂#Just sad hours in general tonight my guys. Going to go and pour the bad feelings into Aftermath and then maybe make a bad life choice and#pour all my savings into an ipad#YES I KNOW first world problems. I know. That's why I try not to talk about it bc it seems so petty considering the state of the world#But you can't help what gets you down#EMMs Journal#EMM's Journal
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one of the things that will always destroy me is people believing that good story = darker/more mature/more sexual. this belief has ruined so many stories that could have been amazing & has prevented almost everyone from enjoying other really good stories simply because the age range it's aimed at is one they believe can't have complex themes, characters, plot, etc etc. they don't believe they can be moved by something a publisher or studio decided is for kids & so write it off without even thinking about it. biggest curse of being a writer who actually loves stories & telling them is that literally no one else cares in the most pessimistic, higher-than-thou, capitalism brainrot way you can imagine. & it's all automatic. because that's just what you're taught.
#like people who love all kids media uncritically is another problem#but i find an even bigger one is people not believing animated stuff & younger age range stuff can impact you#like imagine trying to explain something you love so much it makes you cry#& every single time people react as if you told them something batshit off the walls insane like you only eat dirt or something#& they need to help you because there is clearly something wrong with you#& no matter how you explain it they always look at you like a crazy person#i feel like no matter what the kinds of art i love will always get shoved to the back of the closet#how i explain the hopelessness of trying to convince someone they're allowed to watch cartoons#but they're adamant they aren't because they're ''too old for that kind of thing''#it really makes me want to cry. & it makes me angry#anyways this is all to say that the minecraft movie is bad because people are afraid to interact with silly things in good faith#& complete 100% seriousness. they cannot take a concept like minecraft seriously#& so they can't see what it's REALLY about#it's not just haha silly block animal & because they can't see it as it is without the filter of ''for kids''#it will be a bad movie. & it won't represent everything everyone who grew up with that game sees in it#i hate seeing a huge problem & either no one else sees it or they do but just don't care because they don't think it's a problem#it IS a problem. it's a HUGE problem that people think they're not allowed to play or have fun or interact with silly concepts seriously#please take shit seriously i'm crying & i'm begging. we could have had something beautiful#people's inability to acknowledge beauty just because the setting is. in their eyes. for kids. is literally ruining art#& i'm gonna start killing about it#Animorphs save me............................................
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My absolutely hottest take is that I low-key want Jonathan and Nancy to be in their divorced era (as long as they get back together) because I think it would be SO FUNNY
#like these are the same bitches that went from “I'm not going to a party” to “wanna bang in a stranger's bunker” in 3 DAYS#like the TENSION would be immaculate#i would also LOVE for everyone else to be so fed up with their assess#like they're about to throw them in the closet of the radio station bc they need them to get back together#these are the same petty dramatic bitches that had the “fagin and the gang” and “hallelujah” in s3#and then said oh wait wanna die for each other??? it's casual but we can murder our bosses together#like they're both stupid and bad at being mad at each other#I BEG#like this is so much better than the dead love triangle that doesn't exist to me#anyways I'm not tagging this because i know it's controversial
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i hate being an adult i hate money i hate bills i hate healthcare and health insurance
#im fine im just upset that it is VERY likely i'm going to have to front $700 of my own money for work reasons this week#bc nobody at work will help me resolve this!! apparently! i'll be paid back eventually but not for a few weeks#and that i may run out of a prescription while i'm on my trip and i was trying to get it filled and have been bouncing around on the phone#to find out that it's the insurance company that won't pay for it until june and i dont want to pay out of pocket#i'll live til then and i may actually have enough til then (i need to just physically count all the pills; i just knew it was running low)#but i'm so frustrated that after i hung up the phone with CVS that i just cried a little#i'm not gonna call the insurance. the last thing i want to do is deal with those guys when i know it's not going to kill me if i run low#(i have been taking half doses to stretch the bottle. is that advised? who knows! but i've done it before and it aint killed me)#i'm just. sigh. nothing going right for me this week#there's also ANOTHER medication that was supposed to refill this week but didn't because it had no refills left. i should've got it today#sooooo i had to call that pharmacy and that doctor to basically beg them to refill it asap or at least send me a sample#i also wont die if i run out of that one (already taken half doses to stretch it this week) but contrary to the other one i will notice thi
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officially 10K into this fic and having a realization about where I'm at on characterization so far, so i'm wondering:
#N posts stuff#i'm like. this first draft is really the writing equivalent of layout sketching: which characters are where / what's the scene About#with the expectation that the second draft will have the building blocks there to build up specific characterization further#but i'm realizing that i am in fact SO broad strokes on the characters so far that i'd need to do extensive studying#of the source material to really hammer in the characterization in a way that i would be satisfied with. a task that at this point#likely wouldn't be very fun. so i had a moment of 'oh idek if i'll be able to finish writing this fic :(' and got sad about it#which was where the 'oh. actually if i'm That loose on characterization right now I could just. shift the characters in#Whatever ways i want them to go and just make them OCs instead of fanfic...' which would actually be like. technically speaking#a Lot more fun bc this fic is so self-indulgent that i keep having moments where i'm pulling back on other elements i'd want to#incorporate into the fic bc 'if it's Too self-indulgent with numerous headcanons it won't be Good to fandom readers'#(ie the character who would Really vibe being a furry and the other begging to be a tgirl)#it Might wind up being something we do no matter what but i am still curious if there would be like. an actual audience for it#and not just something i'm doing all for myself lol; i used to make a LOT of ocs but haven't really done it in Years nd Years#i had a 'no way' moment but i Have had multiple people tell me they read my fics Regardless of whether they've seen source#material or not. so tentatively hopeful the answer is yes? but i'm curious :3
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Youtooz aapparently said there's gonna be "very good news for tally hall fans soon" & I have just devised a plan incase they sell more plushies.. Muahahahaha
#I'm gonna beg my dad 2 let me buy them & 2 have them shipped 2 like Japan (where my lola lives)#& then I'll just get them after she comes back from Japan or smth#I'm gonna be in debt after this but who cares I NEED T.H. plushies
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(´･ᴗ･ ` )
#I really like the “We're the bad guys' enemy” line. For someone I generally despise Dazai has all my favourite lines in this show…#Idk I can't really vibe with the unbalance that there is between s/kk.#Like when push comes to shove‚ Dazai has the power to keep Chuuya alive or let him die.#I understand why they make a compelling dynamic in their complexity‚ but it just doesn't do it for me.#I'm a little sad my opinion on them hasn't really changed since I watched the anime for the first time...#Also; I really can't vibe with Chuuya allowing Dazai to kill Q. Yes I know Chuuya cares about his comrades deeply.#Yes I know it can be interpreted as Chuuya seeing himself in Q as a living weapon and being disgusted by it#(though I honestly don't think that was intentional of the author).#Yes I know Chuuya is a mafioso and kills people. No I don't think your personal issues justify you being a dick to other people I'm sorry.#Back to my main annoyance with the episode: I must have already talked about this but I hate hate hate the narrative#“the mafia works for the city” “the mafia deeply loves the city too” it's so so sickening and insulting please stop I'm begging.#Please visit any actual city with a rooted mafia presence for once in your life (signed: someone whose hometown was destroyed by the mafia.#The writers really don't know what they're talking about and‚ politely‚ it's offensive.)#Also b/sd keeping being extremely nationalist with Mori (who's largely depicted unsimphatetically for the first part of the episode)–#bringing up western thinkers and subtly mocking Fukuzawa for not knowing them–#and Fukuzawa (the righteous man. the noble spirit and just soul in this episode and Mori's antithesis)–#stepping forward to say that he knows strategists from the east (because who else would he need?)#I don't know if it's meant to symbolize the conflict with an hostile and invading foreign power (the Guild).#But it does come across as. A very isolationist way of thinking.#I know it's subtle but it's really evident for me. And I didn't want to talk about this any further…#But by bringing actual examples of this I hope I can better explain why I think that b/sd holds nationalist views–#and that I'm not just making it up out of nowhere. Otherwise I fear I'd only come off as pettily hostile to b/sd in everything#That's it. I feel like I've been losing a lot of mutuals over my main recently due to not shutting up (sorry)#so I suppose it's only fair I lose them on here too pffttt.#Tune in next week for more bad takes#random rambles
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