#I need a mom and dad
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Making soup.
I put away some laundry
Answered a phone call.
Need to go to dmv 🙄 dreading it bad. Need to just try to make it happen tomorrow but it’s iffy with everything closing. Gotta get the kids by 11 from school.
I know this sounds like nothing but it’s a lot for me right now. I’m overwhelmed and weepy and struggling somethin fierce. But god damn this broth is exquisite.
#It’s really hard having just one person in your whole life.#I want a family sob#I need a mom and dad#siblings#I need help and it’s non existent#I don’t know what I’m going to do#re car#driving my bfs but I hate it bc I’m so scared I’ll mess it up somehow#it’s too tall for me and I can barely reach the pedals#I’m so scared of literally life right now and I’m not sure how to function in society#I’m drowning#I can’t afford a new car#I can’t afford anything#how do people make it?#my bf got me groceries so I’m not utterly desolate#the language culture barrier is real though#I’m lucky I’m not dead#I know that#but I’m in a head space where I wish I had atleast been placed in a coma for like a year 😳😫#I know it’s awful#I’m not going to hurt myself.
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the thing about art is that it was always supposed to be about us, about the human-ness of us, the impossible and beautiful reality that we (for centuries) have stood still, transfixed by music. that we can close our eyes and cry about the same book passage; the events of which aren't real and never happened. theatre in shakespeare's time was as real as it is now; we all laugh at the same cue (pursued by bear), separated hundreds of years apart.
three years ago my housemates were jamming outdoors, just messing around with their instruments, mostly just making noise. our neighbors - shy, cautious, a little sheepish - sat down and started playing. i don't really know how it happened; i was somehow in charge of dancing, barefoot and laughing - but i looked up, and our yard was full of people. kids stacked on the shoulders of parents. old couples holding hands. someone had brought sidewalk chalk; our front walk became a riot of color. someone ran in with a flute and played the most astounding solo i've ever heard in my life, upright and wiggling, skipping as she did so. she only paused because the violin player was kicking his heels up and she was laughing too hard to continue.
two weeks ago my friend and i met in the basement of her apartment complex so she could work out a piece of choreography. we have a language barrier - i'm not as good at ASL as i'd like to be (i'm still learning!) so we communicate mostly through the notes app and this strange secret language of dancers - we have the same movement vocabulary. the two of us cracking jokes at each other, giggling. there were kids in the basement too, who had been playing soccer until we took up the far corner of the room. one by one they made their slow way over like feral cats - they laid down, belly-flat against the floor, just watching. my friend and i were not in tutus - we were in slouchy shirts and leggings and socks. nothing fancy. but when i asked the kids would you like to dance too? they were immediately on their feet and spinning. i love when people dance with abandon, the wild and leggy fervor of childhood. i think it is gorgeous.
their adults showed up eventually, and a few of them said hey, let's not bother the nice ladies. but they weren't bothering us, they were just having fun - so. a few of the adults started dancing awkwardly along, and then most of the adults. someone brought down a better sound system. someone opened a watermelon and started handing out slices. it was 8 PM on a tuesday and nothing about that day was particularly special; we might as well party.
one time i hosted a free "paint along party" and about 20 adults worked quietly while i taught them how to paint nessie. one time i taught community dance classes and so many people showed up we had to move the whole thing outside. we used chairs and coatracks to balance. one time i showed up to a random band playing in a random location, and the whole thing got packed so quickly we had to open every door and window in the place.
i don't think i can tell you how much people want to be making art and engaging with art. they want to, desperately. so many people would be stunning artists, but they are lied to and told from a very young age that art only matters if it is planned, purposeful, beautiful. that if you have an idea, you need to be able to express it perfectly. this is not true. you don't get only 1 chance to communicate. you can spend a lifetime trying to display exactly 1 thing you can never quite language. you can just express the "!!??!!!"-ing-ness of being alive; that is something none of us really have a full grasp on creating. and even when we can't make what we want - god, it feels fucking good to try. and even just enjoying other artists - art inherently rewards the act of participating.
i wasn't raised wealthy. whenever i make a post about art, someone inevitably says something along the lines of well some of us aren't that lucky. i am not lucky; i am dedicated. i have a chronic condition, my hands are constantly in pain. i am not neurotypical, nor was i raised safe. i worked 5-7 jobs while some of these memories happened. i chose art because it mattered to me more than anything on this fucking planet - i would work 80 hours a week just so i could afford to write in 3 of them.
and i am still telling you - if you are called to make art, you are called to the part of you that is human. you do not have to be good at it. you do not have to have enormous amounts of privilege. you can just... give yourself permission. you can just say i'm going to make something now and then - go out and make it. raquel it won't be good though that is okay, i don't make good things every time either. besides. who decides what good even is?
you weren't called to make something because you wanted it to be good, you were called to make something because it is a basic instinct. you were taught to judge its worth and over-value perfection. you are doing something impossible. a god's ability: from nothing springs creation.
a few months ago i found a piece of sidewalk chalk and started drawing. within an hour i had somehow collected a small classroom of young children. their adults often brought their own chalk. i looked up and about fifteen families had joined me from around the block. we drew scrangly unicorns and messed up flowers and one girl asked me to draw charizard. i am not good at drawing. i basically drew an orb with wings. you would have thought i drew her the mona lisa. she dragged her mother over and pointed and said look! look what she drew for me and, in the moment, i admit i flinched (sorry, i don't -). but the mother just grinned at me. he's beautiful. and then she sat down and started drawing.
someone took a picture of it. it was in the local newspaper. the summary underneath said joyful and spontaneous artwork from local artists springs up in public gallery. in the picture, a little girl covered in chalk dust has her head thrown back, delighted. laughing.
#writeblr#warm up#this is longer than i wanted i really considered removing that part about myself and what i went thru#but i think it really fucking bothers me that EVERY time i talk about being an artist#ppl assume i just like. had the skill and ability to drop everything and pay for grad school.#like sir i grew up poor. my house wasn't a safe space. i gave up a FREE RIDE TO LAW SCHOOL. for THIS. bc i chose it.#was it fucking hard? was i choosing the hard thing?? yes.#but we need to stop seeing artists as lazy layabouts that can ''afford'' to just ''sit around and create''#when MANY - if not MOST - of us are NOT like that. we have to work our fucking ASSES off. hard work. long and hard work#part of valuing artists is recognizing the amount we sacrifice to make our art. bc it doesn't just#like HAPPEN to us. also btw it rarely has anything to do with true talent.#speaking as someone with a chronic condition i hate when ppl are like u have it easy. like actively as i'm writing this my hands r#ACTIVELY hurting me. i haven't been posting bc my left hand was curled in a claw for the last week#this isn't fucking luck. after a certain point it's not even TALENT. it's dedication & sacrifice.#''u get to flounce around and do nothing with ur life'' is a narrative that is a direct result of capitalism#imagine if we said that about literally any other profession.#''oh so u give up 10 yrs of ur life to be a doctor? u sacrifice having a social life and u get SUPER in debt?#u need to work countless hours and it will often be thankless? well i wish i was that lucky''#we should be applying that logic to landlords ONLY#''oh ur mom and dad gave u the money to buy a house? and all u did was paint it white and rent it? huh.''
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going through my old journals as part of therapy homework and i'm reading a section written in the emotional wreckage of a full-on breakdown when i get hit with this line:
There is never a satisfying answer to ‘Why didn’t they love me?’
like wow babe. good fucking point
#like you were on the ground biting the carpet and dry sobbing while you wrote that and still. good fucking point#not a shitpost#cptsd#and it's true. there's never a satisfying answer#the truth is i know why i wasn't loved#i analyzed my parent's traumas and abuse to death. i understand why i alienated and was alienated from my siblings#i know why my mom was too overwhelmed to be capable of nurturing#i know why my dad vanished into addiction and avoidance#the details of our cycles of trauma and cptsd and family history i have a phd in all of it#i understood perfectly. i spent years studying and now i knew the answer#and guess what? IT WAS NOT SATISFYING!!!#because they still didn't love me! and i still couldn't change that!#it was still a completely unsatisfying state of affairs!#so like. when the people who are supposed to love you...don't.#when the people who are supposed to take care of you...fail to#you can look for answers and reasons and explanations#but that's not actually going to FIX your situation.#and it's probably not within your ability TO fix the situation. (and definitely not your job)#because you don't need answers--you need a new situation#*inserts Just Walk Out. You Can Leave!!! (Running Skeleton) Meme*#and yes. walking out isn't always possible.#but for you i hope it will be one day soon. and i hope you build the courage to take that leap.#stepping away from the people who failed to love you...it feels like being untethered but also like being lighter than air#new and scary. immensely relieving. the future opens up. empty but empty like a canvas. blindingly bright until your eyes adjust#like climbing out of a pit you called home and for the first time realizing how bright the light of day can truly be#when you aren't just getting glimpses from the bottom of a hole
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what doyou mean the boyfriends are fighting please don't fight guys
#first watchthrough#OMG SOMEONE HELPPPP#I DON'T WANNA SEE THEM LIKE THIS#i need soft destiel fics to cleanse my heart now#please mom dad don't fight!!#destiel#deancas#spn#dean winchester#jensen ackles#misha collins#supernatural#castiel
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The real reason Oda had to get rid of her was not for plot convenience, but bc she would have kicked everyone’s ass. (Source: trust me bro)
#Art block auggh but must draw pretty lady aauugghh#also fr thought you mean to tell me this lady with the D. in her name wasn’t out here being an absolute menace#like I feel like she and Roger had to be in the same wavelength of fuckass crazy like cmon now#Rouge and Roger backstory when? (I am delusional)#also her being portrayed as this saintly dead mother figure feels very strange to me. boo to women being killed for plot convenience🍅🍅#also I really tried to draw her similar to how I draw ace bc he is literally a mammas boy#copy and paste of his mom with his dads hair#AGGGHH I NEED MORE OF HERR#AND IF I CANT HAVE MORE I WILL MAKE MORE💥💥#art#digital art#my art#fanart#drawing#digital illustration#one piece#portgas d ace#portgas d rouge#rouge#op#one piece fanart
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dead on main #3
destabilized Ellie and Dan are Jason and Danny's kids except Jason gives his permission to help stabilize the two when he's dead and when he's resurrected he has no memories of it.
Danny and Jason met while he was dead and had a teenage puppy crush sort of thing. The two of them had a lot of things going on with one still being a vigilante in their town and one being recently murdered, So they never really were able to get together before Jason was resurrected. The two of them are from different dimensions and only meet due to the fact that the ghost zone is every Dimension afterlife.
There is a bad reaction from Vlad finding out that Danny used someone else's DNA to stabilize the kids, Which leads to a very Reckless fight that leads to his parents finding out that the kids are halfas. The parents don't know that he is also halfa so they try to cure the kids. Danny flees To the ghost zone specifically to frostbite to make sure the kids are okay. While he's there Clockwork decides that was the best time to basically tell Danny that Jason's resurrected in his home dimension and that is probably best if he settles down there. Of course because Clockwork is still a menace before Danny goes through the portal he says that Jason does not have his memories of being dead and then pushes him through. Danny sets up his life there with Ellie and Dan.
Plot twist Danny ends up being neighbors to Roy in Star City. Danny is a trans single father of twins that appears to have run away from home due to bad situation. With all the Vigilante scars that Danny has it's a reasonable conclusion for him to suspect an abusive home.
Danny babysits Lian when Roy has missions and Roy babysits Ellie and Dan When Danny does work. of course not always do their schedules so occasionally they have to call in another babysitter and when that fails we have the Red Hood himself. the unknown father of the twins( not really twins) and the Godfather of the other child( yes I made him The Godfather).
Danny doesn't instantly recognize him due to the very obvious change. Two of them meet a couple of times through Roy. Danny usually just accidentally stopping in at a bad time before Roy introduces them together and Danny hears his name.
Danny does not tell him that he's the father of the children because one he was dead which means he's going to have to explain what he was doing while he was dead. and two because Clockwork told him he had his memories erased. Danny of course has a lot of feelings about this and Jason instantly gets a crush. Jason occasionally babysits the kids when the regular babysitter isn't working Nor can watch each other's kids because of schedules.
A situation happens with Ellie where she needs to go to the hospital and Jason brings her. this leads to an emergency blood transfusion. The transfusion goes badly and isn't working so Jason asks if his blood will work. It works perfectly. Jason questions for a little bit. Danny, whose phone was broken in a villain attack two days ago and hasn't gotten replaced, shows up at the hospital after finally being contacted. Jason questioned him a little bit Danny freaks out a lot which raises Jason's alarms quite High. When Danny's getting some food for Elle and talking to doctors Jason does a DNA test. Jason gets the results a week later when Ellie's finally back home which reveals he is the father. He has a lot of questions about this.
#Due to time working differently through the realms Ellie and Dan would be able to be conceived#During the week that Jason was looking for his mom#Did he actually run away for a week in Canon I do not know but in this one he did#I need this plot convenience#dc x dp#dpxdc#danny phantom#dp x dc#danny fenton#dc x dp crossover#batfamily#dad jason todd#jason todd#teen mom danny#mom danny#danielle phantom#dan phantom#roy harper#lian harper#dcxdp#dead on main
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in true telenovela fashion, everyone is getting married or finding love in the last episode, but it's better because everyone is gay.
episode 8 of THE SECRET OF US
#the secret of us#the secret of us the series#the secret of us series#th: the secret of us#tsou#lingorm#lingling kwong#orm kornnaphat#gap jakarin#pentaii natthanit#ying anada#nene thanchanok#prigkhing sureeyares#jaja dandao#thai gl#bibi gifs#gl drama#girlslovenet#wlw#lada's mom was having a blast tho#i almost made two other gifs of her and lada's dad talking about how being gay isn't a flaw but it was for her#but thought the queers looked so pretty no need to have that woman in here
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Everyone debating which superboy or if he's still going to be a clone in MAWS. I just want his origin to be so complicated, a clone with everyone's DNA mixed in.
#i don't actually think wilsons dna will be used if hes a clone#i just needed a fourth person lol#superboy#lois lane#clark kent#lex luthor#i want kon to have 5 dad's 12 aunts and 6 moms#i want his family to be so complicated#i yearn for chaos#superman#maws#maws spoilers#my adventures with superman#my adventures with superman spoilers#kon kent#kon el superboy#kon el kent#kal el
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I’ve been thinking about Miles as Serizawa quite a bit 😁
#doctorsiren#ace attorney#mob psycho 100#miles edgeworth#phoenix wright#narumitsu#wrightworth#serizawa katsuya#reigen arataka#ace attorney fanart#ace attorney au#psychic lawyers au#digital art#my art#procreate#LET’S GO GAMBLING!!#aw dang it-#squib and I were trying to figure out how the claw thing worked if Gregory took Sakurai’s place#we decided that part of the reason why Miles locked himself away for 15 years was because 1) his powers and 2) his father went missing#Gregory (instead of being killed by MVK) was instead made to join Claw (which now means Claw is an older organization)#without his father there to help teach him how to control his powers. miles got scared and locked himself away#much to the sadness of his mother Eleanor (who is alive in this AU)#I think im gonna have it so neither Gregory nor Miles know that the other is part of Claw#at least not until the World Domination Arc (probably post-WDA)#it’s easier this way HAUHUISu#yeah gamer miles…needs to touch grass…and take a shower…and get a haircut…#also hooray! he gets glasses 😁😁😁 AND HIS DAD IS ALIVE AND SO IS HIS MOM#THIS MILES EDGEWORTH TRULY IS WINNING
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clean your sword
i. Peter had thought many times about dying for his brother, killing for his sisters, as all oldest children do.
ii. He'd imagined it a hundred times: how if his mother and father were ever killed, he'd get some low-skill job and make sure Lucy's clothes still fit her as she grew. How he'd make fists and fight dirty if Susan was ever threatened. What he'd do if Edmund ever had to flee the country on a dark, windswept night.
iii. Yet when he heard Susan's horn that day, he still froze. Only for an instant, he thought, "this can't be my job, right?"
iv. The blood on his sword shone red when it was all over. When he wiped it on the grass, the stain it left was almost black.
v. They'd put Susan in his arms when he was two years old. Peter didn't remember it, but he knew he'd been waiting for her till then. He wasn't a real person until he was a brother.
vi. And when they walked back to the pavilion, Rhindon bumping Peter's hip, all he could say to his sisters was, "I'm sorry I didn't come faster."
vii. The High King was almost obsessive in the way he cared for Rhindon. When he grew older and required weapons larger than those made for a child, he obsessed over them too.
viii. He told the others, in no uncertain terms, that if it ever came to it in battle, they were to leave him and live. As their brother and high king, he commanded it.
ix. The first time Edmund risked himself for Peter's sake, Peter didn't speak to him for a week.
x. He was oiling his sword when Edmund found him. "See, the thing is, Peter, being brothers goes both ways. If you can love me enough to die for me, than I get to love you just the same."
xi. Peter agreed with him then, to avoid the argument. He was sick of not talking to his brother. Yet privately, he knew that Edmund was wrong. That sacrifice was Peter's special prerogative, as the first-born.
xii. Back in England, his mother noticed that Peter had become more fastidious. She didn't notice that his protective streak has grown - and maybe it hadn't, really.
xiii. It was uncanny, how Peter would always show up just when his siblings needed him. He'd round a corner, and there was Lucy stamping her feet and scowling at a bully. There was Susan, crying, and now his knuckles were bloody.
xiv. He cleaned the blood off in the sink so carefully. The water ran red for a second, and it almost seemed black.
xv. When Caspian asked for the High King's advice, looking so very young, Peter jerked his chin towards the sword a Caspian's hip. "Be ready to use that," he said. "Keep it clean, and close."
xvi. Susan forgot Narnia and she forgot Aslan. Yet selfishly, Peter still hoped that she would never forget how quickly he came when she called.
#Peter's whole personality is Big Brother and everything else stems from that. this is why i love him#like. the age gap between my sister and me is not large but i can't think of a time in my childhood when I didn't have contingency plans#for what I'd do if i needed to protect her. or like if we got kidnapped and i needed to fix it. or if mom and dad died what i would do#even when we weren't getting along. i am convinced it's a primal Oldest Sibling instinct#whether these plans were even marginally executable is. another thing#high king over all the rest#narnia#pontifications and creations#leah stories#no one will ever walk the earth so close to you
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im obsessed with them actually
#twisted wonderland#twst#ツイステッドワンダーランド#ツイステ#mmarts#twst spoilers#twst book 7 spoilers#ortho shroud#idia shroud#shroud family#hhggnhnh i love them so much i need more content of them lol#yeah im stickin with the first design i did for the mom and dad. baby faced lookin-
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Maybe you just need to listen to the amazing devil at a volume that will give you hearing loss and then you'll rediscover the will to live
#tad#the amazing devil#i dont know what mom and dad put into that stuff but i need to snort it#joey batey#madeleine hyland
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Prompt 81
Danny blinked at the small children Ellie was holding the hand of, looking quite proud of herself. The small children- between ten and twelve so somewhere similar to Ellie’s age- who both practically stank of magic and Gods.
He took a deep breath, pinching the bridge of his nose even as Dan cackled while opening the door more to let them inside. “Alright, what’s your name, kids?”
“B-billy…um, Billy Batson...” “‘m Percy! Percy Jackson.”
“Nice to meet you two- any idea where in your family you have a god or two, because one of you definitely smells like Zeus and I’m pretty sure Poseidon and I am not dealing with either of my half-brothers.”
#prompts#dcxdp#dpxpj#percy jackson#percy jackon and the olympians#billy batson#Danny was adopted by Clockwork who is the origin behind Kronos#Oh they're both orphans? No one to take care of them?#Goddamnit Clockwork you made sure Ellie found them didn't you#Liminals are hidden from monsters thanks to feeling like them & the dead#CW: If they won't take care of their kids then I'll give the lil demigods to my favorite son :)#The JL finding out Billy is a child: You need a guardian- how could we let this happen#Billy: Actually my older sister has looked 12 for the last 100 years and my younger brother looks 20 so that's very human-ist of you#Percy peering out at some camp people who are trying to see if he's home: MA There's some weird ass cats outside!#Percy: Am I allowed to throw the pool at them 'cause they aren't taking no for an answer#Danny teaching the kids how to use powers: Alright and now we're going to your other dad and moms to learn magic#Danny: And how to shoot a gun in Val's case because I will forget gun safety#Everlasting Quartet#Phantastic Four#“Hey Marvel how do you know that info about Dr Fate he looks so pissed??”#“Oh one of my parents know him and they don't get along so now we always take the chance to call him a lil Bitch but politely”#Percy: Billy if you can summon lightning and I can control water can we combine them#Billy: One way to find out- hey Daaaaan#Camp people trying to find Percy: Wtf wtf wtf#The pantheon: WHAT DO YOU MEAN KRONOS HAD ANOTHER CHILD?! WHERE?! HOW!?#Clockwork: Look at my Favorite Child who doesn't Fuck with the Timeline or are Raging Hypocrites & takes care of his kids#Clockwork curled up with Danny & new grandchildren in his chest like a mother crocodile: Everything is as it should be :)#Marvel: Look at my lil brother isn't he adorable he's a year younger than me but takes more after our other mom#Percy: Hi Mr Aquaman I can control water & talk to fish and was wondering if you have any tips#“Marvel we're going to die-” “No we're not lemme call my big brother- if he can destroy the timeline he can fix it” “If he What”
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hey, if you donate at least $5 to this gofundme and reblog/share this with a screenshot of your receipt i'll make you a five to ten minute doodle :) salma and her mom have become close friends and i'd like to see her and her family reunite somewhere with a steady supply of insulin and far less violence.
BONUSES: donations of $100 or more will get a free 1-2 character commission or a ceramic piece. if you can't donate anything, still spread this! if we get this to 500 notes i'll pick a random reblogger out of a hat and give that person a personalized sketch as well :)
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UPDATE AS OF 8 JUNE 2024: they’re still not even halfway to their goal, and her family narrowly escaped the massacre today. her mom thinks it’s only a matter of time until her children and husband are dead and salma’s an only child and half an orphan. please donate. gazafunds won’t add them to their website even though they’ve been verified by nabulsi.
#salma's been able to escape and get some care but things are still dire and her dad and siblings are still stranded in rafah#her mom and i have been chatting and they're still in dire need of help even though salma's been able to get half of a breather#palestine#artists on tumblr#art commisions
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for comfort art, could we see some spy comforting scout... the fatherly comfort i wish we canonically had 🫂
He couldn't be there for scraped knees and first heartbreaks, but he's here now and that counts for something
#gopher art#tf2 spy#tf2 scout#team fortress 2#spydad#sometimes I go 'Scouts a grown man does he really need his dad to comfort him' then the part of me that desperately wishes#they could hug their mom one more time bitchslaps me into the stratosphere#anyway. I hope something comes of this in the 7th issue of the comic
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#i kept... procrastinating........... sorry to everyone who gave me a character for taking so long....#my art#digital#worm#wormblr#i like.. most of these 👍#ive struggled a lot with my alec design but i think im finally starting to get somewhere with him#that specific emma is from arc 5. her dad mentions taylors moms death and taylor lashes out and emma cant help from smiling#so she leans forward on the desk and covers her mouth#the sleeper.... ok so his whole deal is intentionally vague in canon#because someone told wildbow he doesnt need to explain every single deatail about every cape that shows up#so i was able to do whatever the fuck#basically his power is visually described as a not-rainbow storm thats large enough to cover a good chunk of a large city#out of canon wildbow says the only capes whod be able to survive his storm would need to be indestructible or have an impenetrable mind#so i thought yo. i recently watched a video about a short scifi horror story about how certain fractals make people die from looking at the#and the only person who didnt die from seeing the worst one had trained himself by looking at less dangerous fractals#so.. there the sleeper is ig.. a vague figure in the center of a giant fractal mess#i didn't INTEND for aisha to be looking at alec but no harm no foul. its kinda cute#anyway i spent most the day finishing this and now i think i dont wanna draw digitally ever again?
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