#I mostly did this so I wouldn’t have to explain who is who whenever I talk about a different Zelda

[linkbetweenlinksau]

Like I said, they MIGHT not make an appearance in lbl, but I wanted to design them anyways. Their individual refs will happen eventually

Now before someone asks and I know they will, oot Zelda is not here, because I cannot for the life of me figure out where she would even be. It pains me to leave her out cuz she has my fav Zelda design, but she has no connection to Time whatsoever. The version that did know Time is in an entirely different timeline, and the one in the correct timeline doesn’t know him. It’s just easier for me to leave her out. So. Yeah.

[triptuckers]

kissing it better - logan howlett

Request: nope Pairing:  logan howlett x reader Summary:  based on this post by @sarahsmi13s Warnings:  nothing but tooth rotting fluff ugh I love logan Word count:  1K A/N: this post… yes.. also logan deserves some soft love <3 enjoy!

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁

slow, domestic mornings with logan are few and far in between. it’s why you cherish every one you get.

life in the mansion is hectic, to say the least. even if you would take away everyone’s mutant abilities, there’s still a couple of dozen kids with a lot of energy swarming the place.

but you wouldn’t have it any other way. you’d been one of those kids once. unsure of your place in the world, scared, not knowing who you could trust. 

like many young mutants, you caused chaos and pain when your mutation manifested. your own parents were afraid of you. and then the professor showed up at your house and told you about his school. 

you’ve spent many years here now, teaching the children while also being a member of the x-men. you finally have a place where you belong, where you feel safe and at home. where you have friends and family who care about you.

meeting logan was only the cherry on top.

from the moment you met him, you’d been curious about him. one day you were teaching your class as usual, the next moment there was a guy with anger issues and adamantium claws in your classroom. 

at first you were stunned, as were the students, but you introduced yourself and told him to take a seat once he explained the professor thought it was a good idea for him to know what life at the mansion would be like.

ever since, he’s been sitting in on a lot of your classes. you thought it was because he was interested in the topics, but later on he confided in you that your voice and presence soothe him. 

after that conversation, logan was around you often. to learn about the mansion, he said, but you knew better.

the more time you spent with him, it became obvious he came to you when he needed to calm down. he didn’t need you to talk to him, just needed to be near you.

sometimes you would talk. it was mostly you who did the talking, though. you told him about your childhood, how you met the professor, your time at the mansion as a kid, teasing scott about jean when you were a teenager. and then you told him about the missions you went on with your fellow x-men, the classes you taught the children, how they continued to surprise you every day.

and slowly, as logan started to trust you more, he told you about his life. what it was like years ago, what he went through. you wanted logan to open up to you on his own, but you couldn’t deny you were curious about him and his life. sometimes you couldn’t help it. 

you were cradling one of his hands, taking a closer look at his knuckles as you sat on the edge of your desk. the classroom was empty, the students long gone. but logan was still there

you feel logan’s gaze on you, but you continue to study his hand. turning his hand over in yours, examining it.

‘you really can just get them out whenever you want?�� you ask him.

‘yeah.’ says logan.

‘can I see them?’

logan briefly hesitates. no one’s ever asked him that. most people who have seen his claws up close didn’t live to tell the story. but you’re being so gentle with him, he does as you ask.

you drop your hands as he pulls his arm away slightly. then he slowly lets his claws come out. you watch as the skin between his knuckles splits as the adamantium blades slice through. 

you briefly look up to logan and notice how he clenches his jaw slightly. 

‘does it hurt?’ you ask him. ‘when they come out?’

logan looks down at you. at this fellow x-men, a teacher, a lover. no one has ever been this patient and gentle and loving with him.

‘every time.’ he says, looking at the way you’re holding his hand.

it had been a long time since logan had slept in his own room. what few belongings he had, he added to your room. but because the mansion life was a busy life, you rarely get to enjoy each other’s presence like this.

logan is still asleep. his breath tickles the back of your neck. one of his arms is lazily swung over your body, the other beneath your head. you love waking up like this, safe in his embrace.

you reach out and softly run your fingers over his knuckles. it’s remarkable how fast his skin heals. 

your touch wakes logan, who stirs behind you. now that he’s awake, you turn around in his arms so you can bury your face in his neck. logan pulls you closer, wanting to go back to sleep.

he feels how you take a hold of his hand and move it. then he feels something on his knuckles. he opens his eyes and sees you pressing soft kisses to the skin between his knuckles, right where the tips of his claws rest beneath his skin.

logan has never been the romantic type. but he swears he feels his heart burst with the amount of love he feels for you. you’ve kissed him before, obviously. but not like this, not on his knuckles.

‘what are you doing?’ he asks, voice still laced with sleep. 

you briefly look up at him before you move to get a hold of his other hand, bringing it up to your lips.

‘you said it hurts every time they come out.’ you explain. ‘I’m kissing it better.’

logan’s lips part in surprise, before smiling at you. 

‘you’re gonna do this every time they come out?’ he says.

you nod. ‘yes. you said it hurts every time. so I’ll kiss it better every time.’

‘you’ll be busy for the rest of your life, then.’

‘that’s okay. I don’t plan on going anywhere.’ 

logan leans in and presses a soft kiss against your lips. with his forehead against yours, he drifts off to sleep again. feeling the occasional kiss against his knuckles. 

A/N: thanks for reading! everything that I have written can be found on my masterlist. please do not copy, translate, plagiarise or repost my work! some of these are requested by other people and I spend a lot of time and effort on my works <3 much love, marit

[fandoms-x-reader]

Defense System

Requested By: @space-dragon-ace

Oneshot

Summary: MC loses everyone in a crowd. To find the others quickly, they yell, "MC is a good for nothing human!" and wait to see what happens. OM! Cast x Reader Word Count: 851

You were apprehensive about going to this event in the first place.

You had just gotten back to the Devildom after being away for some time and you were still readjusting to the way things were down there.

But, your friends had all insisted on taking you to an event that occurred in the streets of the Devildom.

There were going to be tons of food trucks, vendors, shows and so much more.

They promised you that you would have a ton of fun ~ so who were you to refuse to go?

It was only after you got to the event that you began to regret your decision to go.

You had all shown up in a large group, but it seemed that everyone had their own things that they wanted you to experience.

All fifteen of your friends almost immediately went their own way, wanting to get something from a specific vendor to bring back to you or wanting to get you tickets to a show.

They were in competition mode and whenever that happened, you knew that it was hard to get them back on track.

There were tons of people surrounding you; and, despite your best efforts, you couldn’t see a single one of your friends.

You were a bit frustrated at this point, mostly because you had only agreed to go for them.

And, now you were standing in the middle of a crowd of demons, by yourself, unsure where to go or what to do.

You wanted to call someone on your D.D.D. but with how busy it was around you, you knew that you wouldn’t be able to hear anyone even if they did pick up the phone.

You thought about using your pact to summon one of the brothers; but, you didn’t think you were at the stage where that was exactly necessary.

Especially since summoning could cause the brothers pain if it isn’t done properly and it had been a while since you tried to do it.

Unsure of what else to do, you decided to be a little mischievous and test your bond with the others a bit.

You took a deep breath before shouting into the crowd, “Y/N is a good-for-nothing human!”

You paused for a moment, looking around once again, but when you still couldn’t find anyone, you let out a small sigh.

I guess that didn’t work…

“Alright, who said that?!” Mammon shouted, suddenly barreling through people to reach you.

“Oh, there you are!” you said, relieved at the sight of a familiar face and completely forgetting about your little joke.

But, there were fifteen people suddenly rushing to your side who did not forget about what was said.

They each came to you, one by one, hot and heavy and ready to throw punches.

You listened as they each began to throw insults toward this imaginary person as they searched the crowd for who could possibly be the culprit.

You tried to interject a few times, wanting to tell them the truth, but every time you opened your mouth, you were interrupted by another angry person.

“Y/N, did you see who said those words about you so we could find them?” Diavolo asked you, concern in his eyes as everyone turned their attention to you.

You were holding back a laugh as your cheeks dusted pink from all of the attention.

“Sure ~ it was me,” you admitted and their faces turned from ones of anger to confusion.

“Why would you say that stuff about yourself?” Beel asked as innocently as ever.

“Geez, Levi, you’re rubbin’ off on ‘em,” Mammon pouted, causing Levi to look extremely guilty.

“Relax, everyone,” you replied, stifling another laugh.

“I lost you in the crowd and I thought it would catch your attention enough that you would come find me. Looks like I was right,” you explained.

“Well that was risky,” Belphie stated. “Satan nearly lost his mind,” Solomon agreed quietly.

You couldn’t help but notice how adorable they all looked, pouting at the prank you managed to pull off. 

“I’m sorry, really. But, I thought the purpose of bringing me to this event was so that I could experience everything with all of you. Not for me to stand alone in the crowd,” you added.

You could feel the tension in the air shift as they realized that they had left you alone and understood where you were coming from.

They completely abandoned you in the middle of this large event. No wonder you pulled that stunt.

They promised not to leave you alone again and they each took you to their favorite parts of the event, making sure that at least one person was with you at all times.

They made you promise that you would never try something like that again.

You had fifteen people who were ready to fight for you at the drop of a dime, and saying something like that, even if you were joking, would always set them off.

Because they cared about you far too much to let something like that slide.

[narnianflame]

“I think you’re pretty attractive yourself.” (Azriel x Reader)

Summary: You were at Rita’s with Mor and Nesta waiting for the Inner Circle to arrive, deeply in a drinking game that made you drink whenever somebody hot entered. Both aware of your not so small crush on the Shadowsinger.

A/N: This is my first One Shot but I really wanted to write this idea down. English isn't my first language just in case there is stuff that doesn't make sense at all, but enjoy!

You were currently sitting at your usual table at Rita’s with Mor and Nesta. Having arrived not long ago you were all fairly sober. “Let’s play a drinking game until the others arrive,” suggested Mor with a smirk. That piqued Nesta’s interest. “What kind of game are we talking about?” Mor’s smirk only grew. “We each have to take a sip of our drink whenever we see somebody entering Rita’s, but only when we think that somebody is hot,” Mor explained the rules swiftly. You nearly choked on your drink.

“I’m in,” Nesta immediately answered next to you. “I don’t know… anybody? What about the others entering, wouldn’t that be awkward?” You tried your best to think of a reason not to play. Fully knowing that reason being Azriel, and you being worried about your reaction once he would enter Rita’s.

“Oh, come on Y/N! We both know of your little crush. We wouldn’t be surprised seeing you take a shot when Azriel comes through the door.” Mor teased, the smirk on her face never seeming to disappear. You groaned, a faint red colour tinting your cheeks. Of course, they knew of your small or maybe not so small crush on the Shadowsinger. “Fine, let’s play,” you eventually bit out. This was going to be a long night. The three of you didn’t know when the rest of the Inner Circle would arrive, so your nervousness seemed to increase even more. The three of you looked over to the door. People were coming through the entrance, and you were already overwhelmed. How would you even have enough time to know who passed through and who of those people you would find attractive. Mor was the first one to take a sip of her drink, a beautiful brunette female walking through the door. Nesta and you looked over to Mor who just shrugged. “I can’t help it. I love woman.” All three of you returned your eyes to the entrance. The next person who entered was a blonde and pretty looking male. He wasn’t really your type, but you did find him attractive, so you took a small sip of your drink. The evening seemed to pass in a blur, and you could tell the type of people Nesta and Mor seemed to find attractive after all of you had downed two drinks.

You were starting to think that the other members of the Inner Circle weren’t going to show up at all and you got more relaxed. Mostly because you were more than a bit tipsy as well. But still your eyes stayed glued to the entrance. The next person to enter was a very pretty female with long golden-brown hair and blue-grey eyes. She seemed familiar but you had already taken a sip before realization dawned on you. Feyre entered Rita’s with such grace that you couldn’t help but admire her.

“Hey, that’s my sister.” Nesta elbowed you and Mor. “Can’t help it if she looks like that.” You admitted. “Exactly,” mumbled Mor in approval. The next person to pass through the door was Cassian. His hair was slicked back, and he wore a tight crimson red shirt that went well with his equally tight pants. We all agreed that he was very attractive and nice to look at, but you wouldn’t want to annoy Nesta, so your drink stayed on the table. “Oh, come on. I won’t bite off your heads if you take a sip. We can all agree that he’s hot.” Nesta smirked and when Cassian’s eyes found her at the table, his face broke in the biggest smile you had ever seen on the Generals’ face.

Feyre and Cass made their way to your table. The High Lady settling between you and Mor, while Cassian took the place next to his mate at the end of the table. “What are you guys up to?” Cass asked. “Waiting for you to finally grace us with your presence, but you took forever so we played a little game.” Mor pointed at the already empty glasses in front of you. “Well, you can stop now that we’re here, or can we join?” Feyre chimed in. “There are only two more people we're waiting for, but sure.” Mor pointed at her drink. “I won’t be drinking anymore anyways.” Feyre took Mor’s drink and sniffed to try and figure out what was in it, then her eyes slid to Nesta and you. “I think I know the rules.” She smiled smugly and let her eyes wander to the entrance.

“You can share my drink with me Cass, but I doubt you want to join the game.” Nesta’s eyes crinkled with amusement before she sent you a knowing look and returned her focus to the entrance as well. You sighed and continued looking for the last two people who had yet to arrive. The next seconds went by agonizingly slow and the glass in your hand started to get hot. To say you were nervous for Azriel to finally arrive was an understatement. Were you going to drink, or could you hold yourself back? If you didn’t Mor and Nesta would tease you immensely which would look suspicious. So, you settled on just taking a small sip. Nothing big. Nobody was going to notice.

At first you only saw a black tight shirt. That could be anybody. Your eyes continued traveling up until they landed on those hazel eyes that you loved so much. Then they slid to the wings behind. At last, your eyes went back to his face where they settled a second to long on his lips before going back up to those hazel eyes. Everything around you seemed to stop and absently you remembered to take a small sip of your drink. You felt a nudge to your side and glanced sideways to see Feyre’s lips curled into an amused smile.

Before anybody else could point out that you were the only one to drink when Azriel arrived, Rhys entered Rita’s with his usual High Lord aura. You could see Mor and Nesta roll her eyes while you were still to caught up in the Shadowsinger’s arrival. Feyre took a sip of now her drink and smirked knowingly. “Seems like I really figured out the rules of your little game.” Cassian just looked confused and muttered something to Nesta about not understanding anything at all. At least one person who would spare you from the suffering that was about to start as Azriel and Rhys reached your table.

Before either of them could sit down Mor already made room and offered to get more drinks. Almost jumping up you followed Mor to the bar. “That eager to get away from Az? I thought he’s hot.” She smiled innocently at you before giving the female behind the bar a wink and ordered the usual drinks for your friends. You glanced back to your table and immediately regretted it when you noticed Azriel looking at you. He smiled and inclined his head to say “Hello” which you returned before quickly, maybe too quickly, turning back around.

“Nu- uh,” your started, “I just didn’t want the teasing to start.” You shrugged and sent Mor a pointed look. “Innocent,” was all she stated before grabbing two of the drinks and making her way back to your friends. Sighing you took the other two, noticing them to be those of Azriel and Feyre. With a groan you followed Mor.

When you arrived at the round table the only available space was directly next to Azriel. Cursing your friends inwardly you gave one drink to Feyre and the other to your seat neighbour. You tried very hard not to look at him, while muttering a small “Here you go”. Of course, you failed and looked up and into his hazel eyes and then to his lips which smiled softly. “Thanks.” Awkwardly you tried to return the soft smile and turned your attention to the conversation that was flowing around you. Cass was talking about a brawl with Az this morning at their usual training session and how he handed him his ass. “Did not,” Azriel grumbled next to you which made everybody laugh even harder. Feyre was talking about expansion plans for her art studio and how she wanted to take on more students.

When you finally looked at the clock, you were shocked to find that a lot of time had actually passed since you arrived with Mor and Nesta. “Uh, guys I gotta go. I unfortunately have the early shift at the shop tomorrow.” You said as you got up. “Too bad. More finger food for me,” replied Nesta. “All yours, Nes.” You laughed and quickly said your goodbyes. You were almost at the entrance when you noticed a presence behind you.

“Wait, I’ll walk you home.” You hadn’t noticed Azriel getting up and following you, too busy with trying not to look at him for too long and making it home fast. “Um, you don’t have to do that,” you started but where quickly interrupted by him. “I insist.” He looked at you seriously and you knew arguing was pointless now. “Alright.” You made your way outside and took a deep breath of air after being stuffed in Rita’s for far too long. As you walked by the still bustling streets of Velaris neither of you felt the need to speak. Just enjoying the comfortable silence. Both of you seemed to enjoy those quiet moments.

“So, you think I’m attractive?” Azriel’s voice startled you out of your thoughts. “Huh?” you managed to get out, barely having fully registered what he had said. Slowly he pointed at you and then back at him. “You think I’m attractive.” He smirked. You felt heat rush to your cheeks and hoped your blush was barely noticeable in the dark of the night. “Doesn’t everybody? I mean you do know you’re good looking with your too tight shirts or training leathers and your huge wings that just make you even more mysterious which females also find hot and your dark hair that seems to always hang just above your eyes in the most perfect way. So uh, yes everybody does. Including me.” You just shrugged and tried to stop your rambling.

Azriel just looked at you and then started laughing. Really hard. You wanted to disappear through the floor. Why did you have to say all of that? You really needed to get this not too small crush in check. His laughter subsided and he smirked when he noticed the blush on your cheeks. Of course, he could see it. “They might but I don’t catch them playing games about who’s attractive and who isn’t. Don’t think my shadows don’t tell me what you are up to.” He chuckled softly as your face took on a look of even bigger embarrassment.

“Why would you do that?” you scolded the shadows that danced between the two of you. They seemed to find this whole situation amusing as well. You sent them a what you hoped was a withering look, but they just slithered up to your face and started caressing your cheeks in an attempt to make you forgive them.

Shaking your head you looked back at Azriel. “Wait, why are you checking up on me?” You raised an eyebrow at the Shadowsinger who stood right in front of you now. Slowly you could see his cheeks taking on a pinkish colour. “Az?” You tried again but were quickly interrupted by his lips on yours. Eyes wide in shock you froze on the spot before you remembered how kissing worked. Slowly you began moving your lips against his soft und plump ones. You sighed at the feeling. He tasted of whiskey which you normally hated but with him it was just a forgotten thought in the back of your head. Every rational thought left you and as Azriel began kissing you even harder there were no thoughts left at all in your head.

As you noticed the lack of air from you not breathing properly, he pulled back. “Just for the record, I think you’re pretty attractive yourself.” He smiled triumphantly at you. Shyly you pushed back a strand of hair that had fallen in front of your left eye because of the very sudden and very heated kiss you two had shared. “And I really like you.” He confessed. “Azriel, I really like you too.” You beamed up at him and your heart still hadn’t found it’s normal beating rate. He had that kind of effect on you.

“We should probably get you home now,” he chuckled and took your hand to pull you along in the direction of your home. “We should,” you agreed and stumbled slightly into him before finding your footing. The both of you spend the rest of the way in your comforting silence, both of you smiling softly to yourselves. Not long after, you arrived at the front door of your home.

“Thank you for walking me home.” You thanked Az softly and smiled up at him, trying not to get caught up in his beautiful eyes again. “Of course, princess.” He grinned. “You don’t happen to be free tomorrow evening? I might know a restaurant that serves your favourite noodles.” He was referring to the restaurant that you absolutely adored and where you found yourself at least once a week. “I’d love to.” “Great! It’s a date then,” he replied and planted a soft kiss on your lips. “Until tomorrow.” Before you could answer his shadows transported him away from you. Probably to Rita’s to see who drank too much and would need an escort home.

You smiled to yourself before opening the front door to your home. “See you tomorrow,” you whispered into the dark and you could’ve sworn you saw small tendrils of shadows dance happily in the corner of your entrance area.

[faux-ecrivain]

Yan babysitter

(Fourth official post)

(This one is a bit shorter than my other posts)

“Don’t worry I’ll take good care of them!” He placates your parents as they leave, waving them off and slamming the door shut when your parents have gone far enough.

He turns to you, with a rather fierce glare and shoos you off to your room. 

Yan babysitter that wants nothing to do with you, that only took the job because he needs the money. 

Yan babysitter who thinks you’re too old for a babysitter, but he doesn’t care, your parents are rich and that’s all he needs to know.

Yan babysitter who did not anticipate you to be such an irresponsible nuisance. (What’s with the weird cultists that keep knocking on the door and where’s that strange whispering coming from??)

Yan babysitter who quickly discovers that maybe this job was more than he bargained for, maybe he shouldn’t have been so dismissive of his job.

Yan babysitter who, somehow, ended up trapped in another dimension and is trying to escape. (Turns out cultists don’t take too kindly to the door being slammed in their face)

Yan babysitter who is sure he’s going to die here in this strange dimension.

Yan Babysitter who regrets ever taking this job and swears that if he ever gets out he’s never coming to this house again.

Yan babysitter who faces the horrors of this other dimension, each monster warping his mind and easing him into insanity.

Yan babysitter who’s so close to escaping, but then he gets trapped by some weird otherworldly creature.

Yan babysitter whose life flashes before his eyes as the creature nears.

He closes his eyes and can only hope that this won’t be dragged out, he can feel the creature approach, and he can do nothing but curl up into a ball and beg for mercy.

However, death doesn’t come, no, just when the creature unhinged its jaw and prepares to (quite literally) devour Yan babysitter, he’s saved.

Yan babysitter who’s stunned whenever you rescue him and when he tries to express his gratitude you dismiss his gratitude. (This happened a lot, you tell him, you even suggest that it was your parents intention to sacrifice him.)

Yan babysitter, who from then on, is absolutely obsessed with you (he treats you like a deity, swearing that he’ll serve you forever.)

You brush him off, as you are used to saving irresponsible babysitters from the jaws of doom, then your try to ignore his constant rambling about you being a deity. (Because you aren’t, you’re just a normal person with magic powers) Yet, no matter how much you ignore him his ramblings don’t (Maybe you should’ve left him in that other dimension)

He takes your indifference as a sign of shyness, his mind warped by the brief time he spent in that other dimension. (Seriously, he’s going to need major therapy when he leaves this house) He decides to dedicate his life to protecting you or at the very least repay you for saving his life.

Which then leads to him following you around, intervening in everything you do and then isolating you from those he deems a threat. (Mostly your friends)

Somehow, in less than two weeks, he has threatened half of your neighborhood and caused almost all your friends to go missing. 

At this point, it occurs to you that maybe Yan babysitter is a danger to your lifestyle and you should probably get rid of him. Which marks the beginning of your attempts to erase him from existence, however this doesn’t sway him, and he somehow believes that the person targeting him is actually aiming for you.

So, now, you’ve got an overprotective babysitter watching your every move and probably hiding in your walls. (Maybe you should have let him rot in the other dimension, less trouble and you wouldn’t have had to explain to your parents why the demon in your basement is still hungry)

Yan babysitter who promises to always protect you and to be by your side forever. (He’s such a nuisance)

(Sorry for the short post, I was somewhat distracted by the tv when I was writing this.)

(Regardless, enjoy this post and feel free to comment)

[wosola]

French kisses .1 - Lucy Bronze x French!Reader

Hey everyone! I’m J. I used to write fanfiction on Wattpad for another fandom, but for a while now, I’ve mostly just been reading. Lately, I’ve been spending a lot of time on AO3, where I started reading WoSo fanfics and fell into @bruhnze’s incredible works. After reading everything she’d published, I found her on Tumblr.

Recently, @bruhnze announced she was taking a break from writing. We connected, and I had the absolute honor of reading through her WIPs. One of them really inspired me, so I asked if I could finish it—and she said yes!

Originally planned as a single fic, this story grew into a 3-parter as I worked on it 🫣😅 Long story short: WIP by @bruhnze, finished by me, and proofread by her.

Summary: This is during Lucy Bronze’s time playing for Lyon, she's just gotten into a relationship with R, a 22-year-old student. For R it is the first time sleeping with someone. Based on this request, from the☀️anon over on @bruhnze.

Warnings: This is an 18+ fanfic with explicit content, so minors do not interact.

You had grown up in Lyon, lived there all your life. It had never been particularly eventful—your life was great, really. You loved your studies, had a close-knit group of friends, and there wasn’t much more to it.

The only thing that seemed to be missing, or at least it was something that was out of sync with your friends, was your love life. At 22, you had never really had one. While everyone around you seemed to be hooking up left, right and center, it never quite worked out that way for you. Not that you didn’t want to; you did.

It was just that you had never met anyone who stirred something in you in your everyday life. Sure, you’d kissed people now and then, but whenever things started to go further, you found yourself pulling back.

As time passed, being a virgin at your big age started to feel a bit strange. You were well past the point where a one-night stand felt like the right way to lose your virginity. Maybe it was because you didn’t know how to navigate all of that, or maybe you were worried that whoever you were with wouldn’t expect it and you’d feel awkward.

But in the blessed year 2017, as fate would have it, everything changed when you met a cute English girl in the local supermarché.

She had been struggling to find something on the shelves, her expression a mix of confusion and determination, when you decided to offer her a hand. The girl, who introduced herself as Lucy, explained in broken French that she had just moved to Lyon.

You helped her find what she was looking for, and as a thank you, Lucy asked for your number. You laughed and teased her, asking what she planned to do with it.

She had grinned, the corners of her eyes crinkling, and in her charmingly imperfect French, she replied, "the least I can do is buy the pretty girl who helped me a dinner." That made you laugh harder, and when you joked about her not knowing any good restaurants yet, she just shrugged and said, "then you can decide where we go."

She had this boldness that was as charming as it was disarming—and, okay, maybe her being absurdly good-looking didn’t hurt in swaying your answer either. It was a yes without doubt, however towards Lucy you stayed a bit more unfazed.

That was a few months ago. Now, Lucy was much more comfortable with her French, picking it up quicker than you’d expected.

And not only was the woman smart, she was also incredibly athletic, which you'd noticed from the start. But on your fifth date, when you two had gone swimming, you couldn’t help but be floored by how fit she really was.

It wasn’t just her body, though—Lucy was thoughtful, kind, funny and so much more. You saw that side of her when she came with you to visit your grandpa in the hospital, bringing him a Lyon shirt signed by a player as a gift. You almost cried, you’d only mentioned that your grandpa was a life long fan of the club and here she was, gifting a signed shirt to him?!

That’s how you found out she was a footballer. Lucy had handed the signed jersey to your grandfather, grinning with that mischievous spark in her eye. “Hope you don’t mind it’s from a pretty new signing,” she’d teased. Then, with a playful glint, she added, “But I’ve heard she’s world-class. Do you know any players from Olympique Lyonnais Féminin? I can get another autograph if this one doesn’t impress you.”

Without skipping a beat, your grandfather, his face lighting up, assured her he did, mentioning that he always tried to catch matches, even if he mostly had to listen rather than watch due to his eyesight. “This is number 22, Bronze. She’s a great defender,” he said with pride. “I was thrilled when they signed her. Do you know her from England, or how did you manage to get this autograph?”

Your jaw nearly dropped as you glanced over at Lucy, who was barely holding back a smile.

“Yeah, you could say I’m close with her. Some say we’re practically twins,” she joked before reaching out to shake his hand. “But actually, I am Lucy Bronze. Nice to meet you, sir.”

Your grandfather’s laughter was as genuine as you’d heard in ages, his disbelief quickly turning into a delighted grin. It was as if he couldn’t believe his luck.

“I won’t let you down,” she told him, her voice softer, promising. “We’ll bring home the Champions League for Lyon.”

-

You’d been dating for three months now, and things were going great. Lucy had met your friends, and they adored her. You told her early on that you wanted to take things slow, and she had been nothing but understanding. She didn’t want to rush things either, but she wasn’t afraid to show you how much she liked you. Everything felt so natural with her, as if it was meant to be.

There was a dinner planned with your parents this Sunday, tomorrow she had a match, but today was one of her rest days after a Champions League game.

After a relaxed afternoon strolling around the city, shopping for a birthday gift for a friend, Lucy insisted on stopping by the supermarket. She wanted to cook at home, saying she wanted a romantic night with you. You agreed, and soon, you were back at your apartment, where you spent more time kissing than actually cooking.

It had been happening more and more recently—lingering touches, playful kisses that turned into longer, deeper ones. Every time, though, it stopped before it could go too far. Sometimes it felt natural, like you both were happy to just be together, but other times it felt more abrupt, leaving your heart racing. You wanted her, of course—how could you not?—but there was still that one thing you hadn’t told her yet, and it held you back.

Lucy had noticed. She’d asked a few times, worried that you might’ve had bad experiences in the past, but you assured her that wasn’t the case. You just wanted to take your time, and she had been so patient with you, always respecting your boundaries. Sometimes recently, it was even Lucy who would pull back, smiling at you sweetly, her eyes filled with desire but also understanding.

You loved her. You wanted to share everything with her, every part of yourself.

Twice now, she had stayed the night at your place. She had offered to sleep in separate beds, but you had waved that away, wanting nothing more than to fall asleep cuddled up next to her.

And now, after watching her play last night and lying awake, tossing and turning, you had decided that you were ready to tell her what had been holding you back.

You wanted, ached, to explore this part of your relationship, and tonight, with the romantic dinner she planned, felt like the perfect moment.

Now you were here, a lovely dinner behind your belt.. fidgeting with your wine glass, noticing that strangely enough, Lucy seemed a bit nervous too.

You both spoke up at the same time.

“Y/N—” “Luce—”

Breathy laughter filled the air, easing some of the tension you both seemed to be holding. “You go,” you said in unison again, which only made you laugh harder.

You gently took her hands in yours. “No, you go, baby.”

“Baby..,” Lucy repeated slowly, as if she was rolling the word around in her mouth, trying to make up if she liked the taste of it, her eyes searching your face.

Your heart skipped a beat. Shit. Did she not like that? You had been using the term more and more recently, thinking you were both building toward something more, maybe even thinking of her as your girlfriend already. Panic crept in until Lucy's voice broke through your spiraling thoughts.

“I thought,” she began, tightening her grip on your hands, “that it was about time… that I asked you to be my girlfriend.” Her words tumbled out quickly, like she was nervous. “I know you want to take things really slow,” she added, rambling a little, “but I just really, really, really like you. More than that even.” She let out a breathy laugh, glancing away for a second, before her gaze settled back on yours. “But I won’t scare you with that just yet. What I’m trying to say is... I want to call you my girlfriend. So, um… if you—”

“Oui!” you cut her off, the word bursting from you with so much enthusiasm that it took you both by surprise. You felt your face flush with heat as you quickly added, “Uh, yes, Lucy, I love you too—” You stopped mid-sentence, blushing furiously. “I-I mean, I’d love to be your girlfriend,” you corrected, your voice softer but no less sincere.

Lucy’s smile stretched from ear to ear as she stood up from her seat, and you rose to meet her. The moment felt so perfect, so right.

She kissed you, a kiss filled with warmth and love, and you returned it with all the affection you’d been building up for this woman for months now. God, you were in love.

After a few long moments, you pulled back, your heart pounding. You knew you still had to tell her the other thing. But Lucy was looking at you with such softness in her eyes, her face lit with joy. You couldn’t help but brush your thumbs along her cheeks, feeling the heat of her skin under your touch.

“Love me huh?” Lucy teased at your little slip of the tongue earlier, her voice low and playful.

You chuckled, your nerves easing slightly. “Yes, I love you, Luce, je t'aime” you admitted, voicing the words felt like lifting a weight off your chest.

“Hmmm…” Lucy hummed, her grin widening as she buried her face in the crook of your neck. “That makes me really happy. I love you too,” she whispered, her breath warm against your skin.

Before you knew it, Lucy’s hands had moved to cup your ass, lifting you up effortlessly. You squealed in surprise, even though she had done this before—it caught you off guard. Maybe because you still had to tell that other thing. But you couldn’t help but laugh as she carried you over to the couch, sitting down with you perched on her lap.

Both of you dissolved into giggles as you peppered each other’s faces with kisses, one after another. “I am so in love with you,” you murmured between kisses, your forehead resting gently against hers as you gazed into her eyes.

Lucy laughed, her nose brushing against yours. “It’s funny that we both wanted to tell each other that tonight,” she said, her eyes sparkling with amusement.

Your cheeks flushed again, this time not just from the affection but from what you knew you had to say next. “I… I also…” you stammered, trying to find the right words. Lucy tilted her head, a curious smile tugging at her lips as she waited patiently.

“I also wanted.. uh no.. needed.. to tell you something else,” you finally managed, your voice a little shaky.

“Oh?” Lucy’s eyebrows lifted slightly, her expression soft. “Is it… a good thing?”

You bit your lip, unsure. “I’d…uh.. I’d say it’s more of a neutral thing?” you said, trying to ease into it.

Lucy smiled, giving your thigh a gentle squeeze as she leaned back against the couch. “Okay. Whatever it is, you can tell me. You know that, right?”

You nodded, taking a deep breath. “Yes, I know. It’s just… hard for me to say, I guess.” You could feel your nerves bubbling up again. “I’m sorry for keeping it from you, but I didn’t know how to bring it up.”

Lucy’s gaze was steady, encouraging. “Hey, there’s nothing to apologize for,” she said softly. “Take your time.”

“I… I have never…” You struggled to find the right words, but they just wouldn’t come. “I mean, I know how everything works, of course, but I’ve just… never actually… done it.” The words tumbled out awkwardly, and you quickly looked down, embarrassed.

Lucy was quiet for a long moment, so long that you finally forced yourself to glance up at her. To your surprise, her expression hadn’t changed—she was still looking at you with warmth and understanding.

“Hey,” she whispered, her thumb brushing over your lower lip, gently freeing it from between your teeth where you’d been nervously biting it. “Thank you for telling me.”

You groaned, your forehead dropping against her collarbone. “I’m sorry,” you mumbled, feeling a mixture of embarrassment and relief.

Lucy chuckled softly, her hand smoothing over your back. “Sorry for what? Like you said, it’s a neutral thing. There’s nothing to be sorry about.” She tilted your chin up so you could meet her eyes again. “I’m just happy you told me. Now I understand why we always stopped when we did.”

You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding and smiled shyly. Lucy’s hands found their way to your cheeks again, cupping your face with such tenderness that you couldn’t help but feel safe.

The two of you stared at each other, the weight of the moment sinking in before both of you burst into soft, breathy giggles, the tension dissolving.

You both had ended up lying down on the couch, nestled against each other in a comfortable silence. Lucy’s arm was around your waist, your head resting on her chest as you listened to the steady rhythm of her breathing. The warmth of her body and the way her fingers absentmindedly traced small circles on your arm made you feel calm, safe.

It must have been at least half an hour before you finally worked up the courage to speak.

“So… how do you, uh, want to do things?” you asked, your voice soft, almost hesitant.

Lucy tilted her head slightly, meeting your gaze with a curious look. “Shouldn’t I be asking you that?” she responded, her voice gentle, as if she were afraid of pressuring you. “I mean… I want to do whatever you want, however you want, and when you want it.”

Her words made you smile, a soft chuckle escaping your lips. She was always so thoughtful, so patient. But the truth was, you had been thinking about this for a while now. You swallowed hard, trying to push past the embarrassment rising in your chest. “I feel like I’m ready,” you began, but the words felt heavy in your throat.

Lucy’s expression softened even more, her hand rubbing soothingly along your back, waiting for you to continue.

“That’s… I…” Your face flushed bright red as you tried to find the right words. You couldn’t tell her just how ready you were without blushing even harder.

The truth was, ever since you and Lucy had started dating, you had never felt this kind of desire before. In the past few weeks, your own body had been betraying you, and the thought of Lucy, had been invading your mind, especially when you were alone. You had never been so… wanting. It was like something in you had awakened. It wasn’t just the emotional connection—you physically craved her.

“Uhm… it’s been hard,” you said, your voice barely above a whisper, “not going further than kissing with you.” Your cheeks burned even more as you confessed, “But I felt like I needed to tell you this first before we went further… it was hard for me to confess.. I feel a bit.. uhm.. behind?”

Lucy’s thumb gently stroked your cheek, silently urging you to continue, her face calm and open.

“I’ve been thinking about… you,” you admitted, your voice faltering slightly. The vulnerability of the statement hung between you, the air thick with it. “A lot.”

Lucy’s lips curved into a small, tender smile as she listened. She didn’t laugh or tease you like you might’ve feared. Instead, she looked at you with a warmth that made your heart flutter in your chest.

“I’ve been thinking about you too,” she said quietly, her voice sincere. “But I didn’t want to push you, and I didn’t want to rush into anything until you felt ready. I wanted to respect your boundaries and I am really happy you told me this before we went further, and you’re not behind at all by the way, everyone does things at their own pace.”

You nodded, appreciating her patience but feeling the need for honesty. “But really I… I’ve been more than ready,” you repeated, the words rushing out now that you had started. “It’s been hard for me to hold back. I didn’t want you to think that I didn’t want to… you know, go further with you. I’ve just never… done it before.” You didn’t know why you were repeating yourself, maybe to bring over to Lucy how much you meant it.

Lucy nodded, her hand moving to intertwine with yours. “I get it,” she said softly. “I’m really glad you told me. I want you to feel comfortable with whatever we do, and I don’t want you to feel like there’s any pressure.” She paused for a moment, searching your face. “But when you’re ready, whenever that is, I’m here. We’ll take it slow, together.”

You smiled, feeling a wave of relief wash over you. “Thank you,” you whispered, resting your forehead against hers.

Lucy sighed contentedly as she lay beneath you on the couch, her fingers absentmindedly tracing patterns on your arm. After a moment, she cleared her throat, breaking the comfortable silence.

“So, um… your parents,” she started, her voice tentative. “Sunday dinner, huh? What’s that going to be like?”

You blinked, a little caught off guard by the shift in conversation. “What about it?” you asked, propping yourself up slightly to look at her.

Lucy gave a small, nervous laugh. “I don’t know, like… have you told them anything about me? Do they know we’re dating, or is this going to be a complete surprise?” She bit her lip, clearly a little anxious. “I just want to make sure I don’t mess this up.”

You couldn’t help but chuckle softly. “Why are you thinking about that right now?” you asked, your tone playful as you began trailing soft kisses along her neck, nuzzling into the warmth of her skin.

Lucy let out a breathy laugh, though her body tensed slightly under your touch. “I—uh… I just don’t want to screw it up. Are you sure you really want to do this right now?” she asked, her voice hesitant.

She turned her head to look at you, concern flickering in her eyes. “I don’t want to rush you, y/n.”

You giggled against her neck, pressing a kiss just below her ear. “Three months isn’t enough of a wait for you?” you teased, a smile tugging at your lips.

Lucy chuckled, her body relaxing slightly as she looked up at you, her nerves fading a little. “Okay… so the dams have really broken now, haven’t they?” She raised her eyebrows, amused.

“Well, now that I’ve told you, and you didn’t get scared away... I have to admit, I’m kind of excited. I mean…” you grinned sheepishly. “I find you really attractive.”

She smiled as you moved your hand under her shirt, your fingertips brushing against her warm skin, you whispered, “I’m in love with you, Luce. I want to share that part of myself with you, too. And you know…” You paused, leaning down to kiss her collarbone. “Je sais à quel point tu es bon au football, alors je ne peux qu’imaginer que tes talents athlétiques s’étendent au-delà de ce jeu…’’ You whispered.  

Lucy giggled, swatting at you playfully. “Oh, you’re cheeky,” she said, her eyes twinkling with mischief. But she glanced up at the ceiling with a grin and added, “Are you sure you’ve got no experience at all? It feels like I’m more out of it than you are right now.”

You sat up a little, shifting so that you were straddling her hips, your hands resting lightly on her stomach. You raised an eyebrow, curious. “Oh?” you asked, smirking slightly. “Has it been long for you?”

Lucy bit her lip, her gaze dropping for a moment before she admitted, “Maybe… half a year? I don’t know.”

“Versus 22 years,” you teased, rolling your eyes giggling. “I think I win.”

Lucy grinned, sitting up to face you, her hands resting on your waist. “Mmm, no. I think I win.” She leaned in closer, her eyes sparkling with affection. “I’ve got the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen in my life sitting on my lap right now.”

You felt your cheeks grow warm, your heart swelled in your chest. But instead of letting yourself get lost in the emotion, you smirked, leaning in close until your lips hovered just inches from hers. “Mmm, really?” you teased softly. “Tell me more…”

Lucy’s expression turned serious, though her eyes were still playful. “I mean it, y/n. Now that I know how much this means to you, I want it to be special… really special. I always wanted that for us, but now it feels even more important.”

You rolled your eyes in playful disbelief, letting out a dramatic sigh. “Mon chéri,” you whispered, brushing a kiss over her cheek, “we just had the most romantic dinner, confessed our love—I'd say that’s pretty perfect already, wouldn’t you? Besides, it’s already special because it’s with you, my love, you are the only person I could think of doing this with.”

Lucy’s smile deepened, and she reached up to brush her thumb along your cheek. “Perfect, sure,” she mused. “But… candles, flowers, fresh sheets…” She bit her lip, ‘’in my head I was going all out for you, I am not even wearing my good underwear, amour.’’

You chuckled, thinking of your preparations for today. ‘’I am.’’

You watched her pupils dilate, her eyes widening in surprise, and she swallowed hard, clearly taken aback. “Oh,” she said in a breathy tone, as if she had just forgotten how to speak.

You chuckled, watching her shift, almost flustered. “Are you getting shy, Luce?”

“No! It’s just that… I don’t know,” she stammered, running a hand through her hair, clearly struggling to keep her composure. “I really want to keep things slow, to be respectful and everything, but when you say things like that…” She scratched her neck, her voice barely a whisper, “it’s… hard to...”

“Hard to what?” you asked, delighted to see her cheeks flush, a sight you didn’t often get to see from her.

Lucy groaned, leaning back on the couch, staring up at the ceiling. “It’s hard for me not to think about… taking things a little faster than planned.” Her voice came out all at once, as if she’d been holding it back.

You leaned in, your lips just grazing hers. “Well, what’s wrong with those thoughts, then?” you asked, teasingly brushing your fingers along her neck.

She exhaled softly, biting her lip as she hesitated. “Let’s… wait until after I’ve met your parents,” she finally managed, pulling back slightly, though it was clear that it took effort.

Your smile faltered, confusion and a hint of disappointment washing over you. “Oh… I thought…” You shifted off her, sitting up and moving to your own spot on the couch, feeling uncertain.

Lucy’s hand instinctively reached for yours, her expression tinged with a hint of panic. “No, no—y/n, it’s not that I don’t want to! I do, more than you know.” She looked down, as if gathering her thoughts. “I just thought, well, when you mentioned meeting your parents on Sunday, I figured it was important to you to wait until after that step.” She paused, glancing up at you with earnest eyes. “I actually had… this plan in my head for next week. Thursday, to be exact.”

You blinked, intrigued and slightly amused by her meticulousness. “You have… a plan?”

“Yeah,” she said, scratching her neck in that adorable way that always made you smile. “I even talked to your housemate to make sure she’d be out for the night. I thought, you know, after we’re official and all…” She laughed softly, glancing down shyly. “I was going to surprise you with candles, flowers, everything. It’d be in your own bed, so you’d be comfortable.” She pressed a hand to her chest, her cheeks flushed. “I didn’t want to pressure you, of course, but I wanted it to be right for you—like, um… create a perfect moment for us.”

Your heart melted as you listened, and you could hardly contain the adoration shining in your eyes. Here was this amazing, thoughtful woman who loved you so deeply, wanting everything to be perfect.

“Luce, you’re… adorable,” you murmured, leaning in to kiss her, your heart overflowing with love and gratitude for such an incredible girlfriend.

You could feel the heat and intensity building between you, like two magnets drawn together. Your mouths met in a deep, fervent kiss, a silent conversation of everything you hadn’t said and all the things you were both holding back. It was a kiss full of promises, anticipation crackling in the air around you.

As the kiss deepened, Lucy’s hand slipped to your waist, and you let yourself sink into her warmth, into her presence.

After a moment, you pulled back just slightly, a small smirk crossing your face. “Are we sure we want to wait until next week?” you whispered, your voice low. “Today is a Thursday too.”

She took a deep breath, nervous laughter lighting up the room. “Well, I don’t know if I want that, but I think it would be best, so yes, I think I want that.”

“Thursday can’t come soon enough,” you groaned.

You both laughed, the intensity giving way to a moment of lightheartedness as you laid together, feeling secure, knowing that when the time was right, it would be everything you both had been waiting for.

After a while Lucy scooped you up into her arms effortlessly, grinning as you let out a surprised laugh. She headed toward the bedroom, ignoring your glance back at the kitchen.

“We really should clean up first,” you protested lightly, glancing over her shoulder at the table still set with empty plates and a bottle of wine.

Lucy shook her head, a smirk playing on her lips. “Nope,” she said, nudging the bedroom door open with her hip. “Tonight we can cuddle, tomorrow we’ll worry about that again.”

Once in the bedroom, Lucy set you down at the edge of the bed.

You felt your cheeks warm as you began to undress, carefully slipping out of your top, suddenly hyperaware of her eyes on you. You hesitated, noticing she’d turned her head away slightly, as if trying to give you privacy, even now.

“No, you can look,” you murmured softly, smiling as her gaze shifted back to you, her eyes meeting yours with such warmth that your heart fluttered. “You’re my girlfriend,” you added, the last word feeling new and sweet on your lips.

Lucy’s gaze traveled over you slowly, and you felt a blush rising to your cheeks as you slipped out of your top and bra, letting them fall softly to the floor. For the first time, her eyes settled on the bare skin of your chest, and you could see her breath catch for a moment, her lips parting as she took you in.

You felt a mix of warmth and shyness under her gaze, but her expression was so open, so purely admiring, that you felt at ease. When her gaze lifted to yours, her eyes held a soft awe that made your heart skip. “You’re beautiful,” she murmured, her voice barely a whisper.

You smiled, feeling both vulnerable and cherished in that moment, before turning to her closet and reaching for one of her oversized shirts to slip on. As you lifted it over your head, Lucy let out a little chuckle, recovering herself, and as she undressed down to her boxers and sports bra, her cheeks were pink.

Once undressed, you both climbed into bed, buried under the comforter as you found each other in the dim light, legs tangling together. She pulled you close, and her mouth met yours again, warm and gentle.

The kiss deepened, lips moving slowly, savoring each touch, each taste. Lucy’s hand rested on the small of your back, sliding upward with a feather-light touch that sent soft tingles across your skin. You felt a pleasant, fluttering warmth in your stomach as her fingers brushed over you.

Your own hands explored her too, grazing the line of her jaw, the smooth skin of her shoulder, and then down to her waist, lingering as you took in every detail. With every kiss, your heart raced faster, your body responding to her closeness, feeling both electric and calm at once.

But just as things were growing more intense, you felt a faint pulse of nerves, next Thursday was maybe not so bad. “Wait,” you whispered, smiling softly, though your cheeks were warm. “We haven’t brushed our teeth yet.”

Lucy paused, her eyes immediately searching yours, understanding lighting up in her gaze. She brushed a gentle hand over your cheek, offering a reassuring smile. “Totally forgot,” she said softly. Her hand found yours as she guided you to the bathroom, fingers intertwined as you both stood side by side at the sink.

You shared smiles as you brushed your teeth together, Lucy’s shoulder bumping lightly against yours, and even things like this simple routine felt special in her presence.

As you finished, you turned to find her already smiling, her hand reaching up to tuck a loose strand of hair behind your ear.

Back in bed, Lucy wrapped her arm around you as you nestled close, her hand resting comfortably over your hip. You let yourself settle, your head on her chest, listening to the steady beat of her heart, your own hand resting on her stomach, feeling the warmth of her skin and the gentle rise and fall of her breathing.

In the quiet, with Lucy’s arm wrapped around you and her hand softly resting on you, sleep came easily, and the last thing you heard before drifting off was the sound of her breathing, steady and warm, and the quiet, whispered words she murmured just before you both faded into dreams; “Goodnight, my love.”

-

I hope you guys like this, I felt a bit rusty writing again, but I think in the future I might be writing more woso fics.

Part 2 of this will follow soon!

-J.

[jals-stuff]

Some Rayne brainrot...

this is some stupid (and a bit horny??? no? yes? i don't know) stuff that went through my mind last night

MDNI PLEASE! this spawned in my head, no context

warnings: female reader, rayne is ooc and pervy, he is staring, dubcon (bit steamy at the end), bit of swearing, bit of horniness, mentions of boobies and peen...

i am very sorry, i wrote this with 0 hours of sleep. barely proofread. enjoy

Rayne Ames. The Divine Visionary, the Sword Cane.

If you watch animal documentaries, you are probably aware that cheetahs can stay in the same position for up to sixteen hours without moving at all…

Well, it so happens that Rayne’s facial expression is like a cheetah. He somehow always looks like you’ve told him a really bad pun, and he’s judging you for it (not funny, did not laugh). He probably even has this face on while he sleeps, eats, showers, and probably even while he decides to please himself. 

And yet, despite looking annoyed every second of the day, despite looking like the unfriendliest guy in the whole Academy, he looks absolutely stunning. Anyone would agree that Rayne Ames is a feast on the eyes. And you, as his seatmate in class, aren’t one to deny this.

.....................................................................

It was your last class hour for today and you couldn’t wait to go back to your dorm room and rot in bed like the absolute lazybone you were. Changing out of your uniform was now an emergency, as the shirt you had picked today was somehow way too tight for you.

Being clueless with basic things such as laundry had its pros and cons. Sure, your clothes were smaller now and you could barely fit; but it made you look incredibly sexy! …or so you kept telling yourself. Maybe you were just trying to cope with the fact that you were incredibly bad at basic human tasks.

You made your way to the classroom and got your notebook out. 

Today’s subject was pure theory, and you would’ve fallen asleep if you didn’t have the most scrumptious distraction sitting right next to you. You spent the hour doodling, taking notes whenever you paid enough attention to do so, and mostly throwing quick glances at your seatmate, Rayne, who was way too focused on the soporific theoretical experiments your elderly professor was passionately explaining, to pay attention to you.

When the old man turned around to write something on the blackboard, Rayne finally turned a fraction of his attention towards you. Of course, this happened during the minuscule amount of time you weren’t looking at him, and he took notice of a few things.

First of all, your notes were an absolute mess. Instead of trying to keep them consistent, you had picked a few words the teacher said, and chose to throw them into an adventure with other words, picked at different moments during class, resulting in an abomination that wouldn’t make sense, even to you. But you wouldn’t know, of course, since you never read your notes anyway. 

He would give you bonus points for the adorable little bunnies you had been doodling for the majority of your time in class, though.

Secondly, you seemed like you were about to sleep, but given the way you were taking notes, everything sort of made sense. Not your notes though, only the fact that you weren’t invested enough to stay awake.

Third of all, your shirt. He wished his eyes hadn’t lingered for such a long time on it. Why was it so tight? “Is she so dumb she can’t even do laundry?”, he wondered to distract himself from the fact that the button that kept your shirt closed around the chest area had the strength of a thousand lions. 

His eyes moved back to your face, and at this very moment, you chose to look at him. Your eyes met, and his expression was, as always, unreadable. Was he bored? Upset? Annoyed? At this point you were pretty sure he didn’t know any better. But it seemed a bit different this time, you could’ve sworn you saw his lower lid twitching slightly. 

You decided to turn your attention back to the teacher— or at least pretend to, for a while, and it lasted for a whopping fifty seconds. Efforts had been made! You deemed yourself deserving of a little treat, and an attempt was made to look at Rayne once again.

His eyes were still on you. Now it really felt like he was upset. You were used to his icy glare but it was getting a little uncomfortable, and so, as one does, you had a great shitty idea. You decided that stretching your back could maybe help you release some of this discomfort, and your button, may it rest in peace, gave up on its sole task of keeping your shirt closed. 

You couldn’t tell where it went at all. In fact, you didn’t even notice, but you did feel a little more comfortable now that your chest area was no longer being compressed, except it was in a literal meaning now, and not just figuratively speaking. You could still feel Rayne’s eyes on you, and decided that you wouldn’t look at him for the rest of this oh so boring class.

What you hadn’t noticed was that his eyes were no longer on your face, but rather on the missing button’s previous spot. “Is she so dumb she can’t take care of her clothing?”, he wondered to distract himself from the fact that he could now clearly see your bra. 

He could see that one mesmerising spot where your breasts were pushing in a wondrous effort to get out of their insufferable lace prison. In fact, pretty much anyone could’ve seen it if they had turned around, but it seemed this professor was either hypnotic or soporific because everyone was staring in his direction. 

You were then blissfully unaware of the fact that Rayne was now leading an internal battle. He had to get his eyes off of your cleavage, for your breasts were not the only things screaming for freedom anymore. Ah, perhaps Rayne was also bad at laundry, because his pants felt increasingly tight the longer he stared at you.

Divine Visionary or not, he was but a man, and what power does a man hold when presented with sweet bosoms? None. That’s right. He tried to think about anything else. Rabbits? His little brother, Finn? The concerning relationship Lance had with his little sister? The way alcoholism thrived amongst the ranks of the State police? No matter what went through his head, he couldn’t take his eyes off of you.

He had to do something about it, and you were probably not escaping this one.

.....................................................................

As soon as the bell rang, he closed his coat as much as he could, and grabbed your arm before you could leave, and this time you could tell he was pretty upset. Why? How could you know? You didn’t know anything. Had your head not been attached to your shoulders, you would’ve probably lost it already. 

Instead of giving you any sort of explanation, he immediately dragged you with him. Your life felt like a movie that was playing in front of your eyes. My time has come, you thought, but… not quite.

You found yourself in Rayne’s dorm room, locked in with him. His roommate wasn’t there, and it was clear this crime would leave no witnesses. 

It took him half a second to remove his coat and— oh. You were suddenly in Egypt.

Everything was there: the stone hard pyramid, the Sphinx (that seemed ready to pounce on you), and the heat. Oh boy, the heat. As a very refined lady (yes you are), you brought your hand to your chest in indignation, and oh, how distraught you felt when you realised that your beloved chest button was nowhere to be seen. It was all starting to make sense.

Without a word, he pushed you against the wall and his lips met yours in a rough, steamy kiss. Your whole body felt like it was on fire; his toned chest was pressing against yours and breaking your buttons further, his clothed erection was slightly rubbing against your clit through your panties and his hands roamed your body hungrily while his tongue left no corner of your mouth unexplored.

It was all a lot to take in but it felt so intoxicating, the way his large hands held onto your hips to keep you from squirming too much underneath his passionate touch, and how his teeth were grazing against your lips while a mixture of both your salivas dripped from the corner of your mouth. 

His body was grinding against yours like waves on the beach, and both your breathings were becoming increasingly noisy. Only after long, delicious minutes of this make-out session did he break the kiss, panting for air, as he looked into your eyes with a lustful gaze you were now used to seeing.

It wasn't your first time pushing his buttons like this, and it certainly wasn't your last.

“You did it on purpose, admit it.”

Whaaat, you? Pfffft, never! But… let’s just say you’re not usually that bad at doing your laundry.

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smol reminder that i am very bored and i also take requests for mashle, hsr, genshin, jjk, elsword, tower of fantasy...

xoxo

[heesdreamer]

YOU MAKE ME

PAIRING ➩ heeseung x reader

SUMMARY ➩ struck with insomnia your entire life, you’ve taken to exploring the city restless all night. things change when you meet a tall boy with tired eyes and bruised knuckles

WARNINGS ➩ heeseung is lowkey crazy and obsessed with reader, parental death and abuse and implied violence, sexual scenes and commentary, mental health talk (especially insomnia)

WC ➩ 17k

AUTHORS NOTE ➩ (i lied lol part 2 soon) NOOO PART 2 plz don’t request im so serious i rlly love this story and it’s completed it has nothing else to add! im glad you guys enjoy my work enough to want more but when there is no feedback in ur comment and just “need part 2” when i spent so much time writing 13k+ words it makes me feel terrible lol. i rlly hope you love this as much as me (NOT PROOFREAD)

Your mother used to tell you that she thought you were born from a piece of the moon.

When you were old enough to understand her and her strange sayings, she’d tell you stories about how when you were a baby you’d never sleep through a night. She looked mystified as she explained to you the ways in which you’d gain energy every time the sun set, becoming whiny and ornery whenever she’d take you with her to run errands during the day.

She told you how you struggled in school for most of your early years, always being found curled up in your backpack cubby or under the slides at the playground because you hadn’t gotten enough sleep the night before.

You always were much more cynical than your mother, less of a dreamer and typically prone to aggravation or grumpy tired mumbles. She’d tell you your connection with the moon was a blessing, a lifelong friend for you and you’d retort back that it was a nuisance.

When your mom died you finally realized what she had meant for the first time. You spent nights awake, like usual, but now they were accompanied by nothing but the sounds of your low sobs and your father drinking himself stupid just below your bedroom. It wasn’t until you cracked open your bedroom window for some fresh winter air did you catch sight of the moon and finally feel it, finally feel the connection you’d always been told you had.

Years had passed now and while you didn’t cry every night anymore, you still rarely found yourself able to sleep through the night.

You’d also turned your back on the moon again now that you were older and still just as restless, sleeping throughout your classes and lacking any social life considering the way you wandered through the halls like a ghost with sunken eyes and dark circles.

It was frustrating to you that nothing seemed to be working, no amount of teas or yoga exercises. You’d gone as far as to take prescribed sleep medication, only working enough to make you more exhausted than you already were yet not putting you to rest like you were longing for.

Years of trying and you’ve mostly given up, accepted your condition and never once considered it the blessing your mother had tried to convince you it was.

Blessings wouldn’t leave your bones aching, they wouldn’t leave you slow blinking trying to understand what your teachers were saying or stumbling holding your lunch tray. Blessings surely wouldn’t have you stood in the middle of a dirty 7/11, clutching three bags of chips and a large slushee while you impatiently waited for the two people in front of you to move along.

You’d realized a few things by being a night owl, only ever interacting with people having the same issue as you or people who worked early enough that you’d pass by them on your way back to your house.

You’d taken to spending your nights awake out in the city, sick of staring at your ceiling or scrolling down the same boring timelines that carried nothing but the same content posted thousands of times with different wordings. So you started to explore at some point during high school, each night pushing yourself to wander further and find something interesting before heading back.

Sometimes you ended up at the river, sitting and watching drunk older men laugh with their friends like they were teenagers, catching the ends of failed dates as they walked home with their heels in their hands.

Other times you sat and drank coffee in the few 24 hour shops scattered around the city, sipping it slowly until it was cold and the added sugar was hardening at the bottom of your paper cup.

Most times however you simply found yourself stood in this exact position, holding your snacks of choice and tapping your foot impatiently while you waited for the drunk college students in front of you to stop joking around with the exhausted cashier and pay for their beers. It wasn’t that late yet, not quite the time of night that got you weird stares for wandering around in your pajamas.

You could hear the cashiers tired voice repeating their total to them, asking if they wanted to pay with cash or card and you sighed softly. You tilted to the side with an exaggerated sway so you could see over their laughing bodies, vaguely meeting eyes with the boy behind the counter before flopping back to your original position.

A heavy sigh was slipping out of your mouth before you even realized it and one of the drunk men turned back to look at you, an eyebrow cocked in offense as he let out a nasty laugh after taking you in.

You were pretty used to that reaction, standing in your plaid pajamas with your favorite bunny slippers and knitted hat. Your eyes were low and heavy with sleep deprivation, an annoyed glint to your expression that seemed to aggravate him further once the glare was set towards him.

“Are we bugging you Ms?” He was asking it in a mockingly sweet tone, clearly antagonizing you due to your impatience. You sighed again and your eyes drifted to the side for a moment in indifference, too exhausted to hold a conversation let alone argue with a grown man who didn’t know how to behave in a public setting.

“Yeah.. a little bit.” You were casually mumbling after a few beats of him and his friend staring at you, realizing now they weren’t going to just let you go without a response.

He was scoffing like it was the craziest thing he’d ever heard and you felt a little jolt of your inner alert system when he was taking a step towards you, his much larger frame slightly intimidating on top of the fact he was drunk and not thinking clearly.

He stopped early in his advances however and you were confused for a second before you registered the sound of the cashier clearing his throat, the two men turning back to look at him with an incredulous look. When you’d first gotten a glimpse of him he’d been bent over the counter, his elbows resting against it with a bored expression but now that he was standing up to his full height you faltered a bit at how tall he was.

The two men seemed to be thinking the same thing as you, suddenly hesitant in their childish behavior and awkwardly handing him a wadded up bill before taking their case of beer and staggering out of the convenience store.

“Thanks.” You were muttering and dumping your snacks out onto the counter, awkwardly catching one of the candy bars that bounced off a bag of chips and almost fell back onto the ground.

“No problem.” He was responding back with a small shrug and you glanced at him curiously, scanning his tired eyes down to the work uniform that didn’t fit him properly.

“You’re not Jake.” You were announcing and he faltered in his scanning, eyes widening a touch as he looked down at you. He was wearing a name tag but you came by often enough to know that it wasn’t his own, never having seen him before and growing used to the friendly smile the usual third shifter would give you every time you dragged yourself in.

“Uh.. no. I’m not, yeah you’re right.” He was awkwardly muttering back and you almost felt bad for calling him out so directly so you laughed a bit to ease the tension, just as awkward considering you weren’t used to extended social interaction this late at night. “He had a concert he couldn’t miss.. asked me to take over.”

You were nodding softly, mouth parting in understanding and awkwardly shuffling while the conversation quickly died into a weird silence. The sounds of your slippers against the tiled floor was scratchy and too loud for your taste, making you wince slightly at how embarrassing this whole interaction was.

“Are you getting paid?” You don’t know why you asked him another question, why you were carrying on a conversation when it’d been years since you’d had one randomly like this but you liked the way his big eyes flickered back up to you.

“Yeah of course.” He was breaking out into a wide grin at the mention of it, finishing scanning your snacks and looking at the register for a second like he’d forgotten what to do next. “I’m normally up all night anyways so I don’t mind much.”

This piqued your interest but you kept your face neutral, nodding softly and picking at the peeling leather of your wallet while you waited for him to give you your total. He was looking up at you again before he spoke and his eyes landed on your hat for a second, still smiling softly as he looked at the knitted bunny ears.

You cleared your throat and he stopped staring, stammering out how much it had cost you and you slid a few bills over to him while watching the way he fumbled around trying to get the register to open.

“Well… have a good night then.” You were mumbling to him while grabbing the plastic bags he was handing you over the clear divider, your fingers brushing against his warm knuckles for a second. “Not Jake.”

“Goodnight.” He was casually saying back and you wanted to correct him on his wording and tell him you didn’t sleep much either, tell him you understood filling your nights with mindless task and the dark circles under his big eyes. Instead you just bit the inside of your cheek and turned to leave. “Have fun wandering.”

——

You’d left early the next night, starting your walk around midnight instead of the usual 3am and you hurried down to the bus stop that would take you deep into the city. You pulled your headphones on tight and chewed on your lip as you waited for the stop you were planning to get off at.

When you got there, you were tugging on the stop signal line and standing up before the driver pulled the brakes. You swayed slightly when he came to a complete stop and you thanked him as you hopped off the high step, speed walking towards your destination and adjusting your bunny hat on your head before you passed through the doors.

The loud chime of the stores entrance bell rang uncomfortably loud through your ears and you winced at the volume, ducking behind one of the tall shelves and grabbing a few snacks at random before making your way over to the register.

Jake was there again now, giving you that familiar greeting smile and you couldn’t help but feel a small wave of disappointment. You weren’t sure why you thought the boy from last night would be back again considering he’d clearly told you he was just filling in for his friend but you frowned slightly and mumbled a greeting to the boy in front of you instead.

“You’re here early.” Jake was starting and you almost sighed. He was friendly and you admired how much energy he had but he often tried to engage in conversation with you whenever you came by, despite the annoyed glances you occasionally threw his way. “You almost missed me.”

You picked your head up at this, suddenly more alert and raising an eyebrow towards him in interest. As far as you knew, Jake was the only third shift worker and he must’ve barely started considering how early in the night it still was so he must’ve meant he was leaving before his usual time.

“Who’s going to watch the store then?” You were asking him and you tried to ignore how knowing the smile he was giving you was, laughing slightly at the fact you were suddenly interested in what he had to say for the first time ever.

“My best friend, Heeseung.” He was responding slowly and you faltered slightly, not knowing the boy from yesterday’s name so you didn’t want to get too excited over nothing. “He helped me out last night and said it was more interesting than he expected so he offered again.”

“He offered?” You were speaking before he even finished his last syllable and you flushed with embarrassment at the look he gave you, shuffling awkwardly on your feet and waiting for him to respond now that you confirmed it was the same person.

He didn’t say anything but he gave a soft hum of agreement and continued to swiftly bag your snacks, much more natural and efficient than his friend but you liked the way Heeseung stared at the register like it was an alien object. You were interested in him just from the small conversation you had, although feeling uncomfortable at the emotion considering it wasn’t something you usually felt.

You chalked it down to the fact he reminded you of yourself, not so much in his lazy smiles and casual demeanor but something about the way his tired eyes looked around.

Jake was opening his mouth again to speak and you looked up at him curiously but you both froze at the sound of the entrance bell ringing again, looking over to see the boy in question entering.

He froze when he saw the two of you staring at him, eyes falling to your hat and then down to your face which caused his to flicker with recognition. He cleared his throat and scratched the back of his neck, looking even taller now that he wasn’t standing behind the counter.

Heeseung was wearing a large hoodie pulled over his head and you could see the wires of his headphones going down into his shirt, tangled around his wrist that was clutching onto the strap of the backpack he was wearing. It was light looking and you weren’t sure if he had anything inside it or if he was just carrying it to give himself something to hold onto.

“Hey.” Jake was smiling at him and simultaneously handing you your plastic bag full of random snacks, hitting you with the reminder you had no real reason to stay in the store now despite the fact Heeseung had just arrived.

“Um.. thanks.” You were awkwardly muttering and taking it from him, shifting a few steps towards the door but stopping when you realized the tall boy was still standing in front of it and you had no way around him.

He was watching you still with a curious expression and you felt embarrassed suddenly, knowing Jake must have pieced together your reason for coming here so early and now he was watching you clam up and leave before you’d even gotten the chance to speak a word to the boy.

You were just standing there in silence, waiting for him to move and silently praying he would do you didn’t have to awkwardly shuffle around his large frame, when he suddenly was adjusting the backpack on his shoulders and clearing his throat while looking past you towards his friend.

“Change of plans. I’m busy tonight.” He was saying in a low determined voice and you could hear Jake sigh from behind you, your eyes widening slightly in confusion until the other boy was looking back at you with a small smile on his face. “Want to hang out with me?”

It took a few seconds for you to register he was actually asking you, staring up at him with an open mouth and stuttering for a moment before giving up on a verbal answer and nodding your head swiftly. He smiled even more at that and then he was waving goodbye to his friend, turning back around and holding the door open for you so you could quickly scurry out of it.

You weren’t too sure what to do, still feeling too nervous to speak clearly so you paused and waited to see if he would say something first. He didn’t but he lifted an eyebrow and gave you an expectant look, silently telling you that you were in charge of your destination for the night.

The pressure of a decision made you sigh softly and you gave him a weird look that made him chuckle, thinking for a moment before turning on your heel and walking away. He jogged slightly to catch up with you and you walked in comfortable silence for a few moments.

“Can I ask where we are going?” He was eventually mumbling, leaning down and towards you slightly so you could hear him at his low volume. Your lip curled up at the fact he was whispering for no reason.

“You don’t trust me?” You were asking him back and your teasing attitude seemed to catch him off guard for a second, raising his hands in mock defense and cocking an eyebrow in challenge.

“I do trust you actually, weirdly.” He paused and you could feel him looking sideways at you. You ignored his gaze and kept facing forward, following the sidewalk that was cutting through the park near the river. “Considering you don’t even know my name.”

You almost replied telling him that you did know his, that you’d been repeating it in your mind since Jake had informed you of it in the store but you figured that would be too forward and instead you just hummed softly. He didn’t ask you for your name, or even offer his and for some reason you had a feeling he already knew it.

Possibly asking Jake about you, an easy answer considering your unusual attire and late night arrival, and that being the reason behind the cashiers knowing smirk when you pushed through the glass door.

“Is this what you normally do?” He was talking again after a few more minutes of silent walking and this time, it was your turn to look at him from the side of your eye. “Walk around?”

“I don’t know.” You shrugged and you felt one of the bunny ears from your hat fall off your shoulder at the movement. You weren’t sure why you didn’t give him a straight forward answer, knowing perfectly well your usual routine.

It felt strange to be accompanied by somebody even though he wasn’t talking much, you could tell he was thinking and wanting to ask you things and as much as you were intrigued by him it was slightly unsettling you to be around somebody for this long.

You spent most your days isolated, not having anybody to talk to at home considering any attempt of conversation with your father usually ended poorly anyways, eventually giving up altogether unless he was grunting something to you every morning when you wandered back into the house.

At school it was relatively the same, or most times worse. You don’t think the other students necessarily meant to complete ice you out but nobody seemed to know how to talk to you after your mom died, at first being overly compassionate and eager to empathize with you vocally and then eventually fading off into small pitiful smiles when they met your tired eyes in the hallway or eyeing you when you came into class late with messy hair.

Heeseung didn’t seem to be giving you any of these looks, he looked confused by your behavior at times but it was accompanied by small smirks or friendly chuckles.

You once again wondered why he was awake right now, why he seemed like he was used to this setting as much as you and not like he was forcing himself to stay up for the sake of making a new friend. You were curious what he was thinking about and what lead him to ask you to hang out in the first place.

“Have you been to the coffee shop on 44th?” He was suddenly asking and breaking you from your train of thought, his voice still in a low whisper.

“Why are you being quiet?” You ignored his question and raised an eyebrow in his direction, tugging on your sleeve and watching the way he faltered slightly.

“Guess I’m not used to talking to somebody this late.” He was shrugging now and he almost looked embarrassed at your question, making you feel slightly guilty for making him uncomfortable.

It wasn’t that late yet, people were still wandering around from bars and late night dinners and you could hear the squeal of the bus brakes still running. The city was rarely ever dark, even in the parks near the bridge but the mood changed sometime around 4am and you felt like the trees were sleeping. Everything was still awake now however and Heeseung whispering was driving you a bit crazy.

“What about Jake?” You were asking him more now, trying to make conversation so he knew you didn’t mean any harm from your comment.

“Jake’s a freak of nature.” He was relaxing again at the mention of his friend, a smile naturally slipping back onto his face at the familiar topic. “You know he works this shift and still goes to school? He even plays football at Hope.”

The mention of your schools college made you freeze for a second, faltering in your step and causing him to look back at you with concern, turning his body so he could face you now that you were lagging behind him. He raised an eyebrow at you and you gave him a confused look.

“You guys go to Hope?” You were saying it slowly so he heard you clearly and his head cocked like a confused dog.

“I don’t, Jake is older than us.” His use of the word threw you off completely and he must’ve noticed because he let out an awkward laugh at your reaction, scratching his neck in embarrassment. “We’re in the same grade.”

“We like… as in me and you?” You rushed out and he nodded his head, hands coming up in panic when you let out a low groan of guilt.

“It’s okay, don’t worry! I didn’t recognize you at first either, it’s a big class.” He was rambling to try and make you feel better about the fact you didn’t even realize he was your classmate, his comfortable behavior suddenly making more sense. You’d definitely never spoken to him but the fact he’d seen you around such a familiar place would make more sense towards why he was so willingly to walk around with you in the middle of the night.

“I’ve been there since Kindergarten.” You blurted out with wide eyes, exclaiming loudly in pure shock that you’d been so oblivious.

“Me too..” He was awkwardly offering with a wince like he knew it would just make the situation worse that’d you’d been classmates for over a decade.

You raised your sweater covered hands up to your face and groaned loudly, pulling your bunny ears in front of your eyes so you didn’t have to look at his sheepish expression anymore. You could hear him laughing softly at how dramatic you were being and you moved one ear to the side to send him a half glare.

“It’s really okay.” He was laughing out and you could see his soft smile from your one uncovered eye, watching him with a flushed face and growing embarrassment the more amused he became. “It’s not like you’re there much anyways.”

He was saying it casually, like he hadn’t even thought about it before it came out of his mouth but you both froze up at the same time at his accidental admission. You slowly moved your ears to the side and raised an eyebrow at him, leaning your upper half forward slightly and trying not to smile at the fact he was now the one flushing in embarrassment.

“So you notice me?” You were dragging out the words and your lip curled up in amusement, racking through your mind for times you’d seen the tall boy and coming up blank. In your defense, your entire school catalogue section of your brain was completely empty and that included cute boys with giant backpacks.

“I mean… well it’s just like… it’s not like I was stalking you or anything.” He was rambling on and moving his hands around a lot like he was really trying to prove his point, going back to awkwardly scratching at his neck when you gave him a disbelieving look.

“Heeseung.” You cut him off and he paused for a second in surprise, making you realize you’d just said his name without ever asking him for it.

He seemed to relax at that, knowing you also knew more about him than you were previously letting on and his shoulders lowered now that he was less tensed. He looked like he wanted to speak again but you felt embarrassed suddenly and took a few steps forward slowly, waiting for him to get the memo that you wanted to continue on your walk.

The two of you fell back into another spout of silence, awkward at first and then more comfortable as you got deeper into the city. It was more relaxed accompanied by the sounds of people laughing and cars honking their horns, kitchen staff wishing each other goodnight as they left different restaurants and swapped signs over to closed.

You were glancing over at Heeseung after a while and you studied him for a moment while he wasn’t paying attention, his big eyes looking around the city with the same expression you assumed you often had. No matter how many times you came down here, you always felt the exact same.

You always had this longing to capture the moment in some sort of way, giving up on photographs and videos quickly into your new habit considering they simply never were able to fully express how it felt. You tried writing about it, talking about the city always felt awake and how it unsettled you in a way that felt like a friendly challenge and not like your world flipping upside down.

“Where do you go?” You were asking him before you even realized it, watching his side profile as his big eyes opened wide for a second at the sudden sound of your voice and then darted right to look at you.

He seemed to think for a second and then he answered slowly. “I don’t know actually. Just here I guess, I just like to be here I think.”

The two of you watched each other for a few beats, holding the others gaze and you liked the way the neon signs behind you were reflecting off his round dark eyes. It was like a little piece of the city was frozen inside them and you almost said that to him before swallowing it, realizing how creepy it would sound out loud.

You didn’t say much else for the rest of the night, wandering around a bit more before eventually settling at one of the small parks near the center of the main area of downtown. You sat in silence like that, you pulling out your notebook that had few words and many sketches and Heeseung playing with the strings of his headphones as he listened to music.

You could faintly hear it coming from them, loud enough to reach you a few feet away and you considered telling him he was able to play it out loud if he wanted to but for some reason you felt like it was private, leaving him to listen by himself.

When the night was slowly changing into that familiar blue color, the stage right in the center of night and day when everything is coated in the indigo filter, you were standing up off the ground and dusting off your pants. Heeseung was looking up at you due to your sudden movement and you stood over him, offering him a hand so you could pull him up.

It was mainly his own strength put into moving his weight forward considering he was a lot taller than you and you were quite weak due to your lack of sleep, but he seemed to appreciate the friendly gesture and gave you a small smile after he was back on his feet.

“What bus do you take?” He was asking you on your way back to the 7/11 and you felt him looking at the side of your face.

“15.” You answered slowly, your voice softer now as the exhaustion started to seep in. You were suddenly grateful it was a weekend, the social interaction leaving you more tired than normal and hopefully giving you the opportunity to sleep an hour or two. “You?”

“Same, but Jake is bringing me home with him today.” He was mumbling and nodded your head, picking at the skin around your nails and feeling more guilt at the fact you’d never seen him on the bus before either. “Did you want a ride home?”

His question was surprising you and your eyes widened, looking at him and seeing the concern pass over his face at your sudden change of demeanor. You were shaking your head quickly, ears swooshing around your head and you raised a hand to shake it, really emphasizing your denial.

You couldn’t imagine your fathers reaction to you being brought home by a car, especially one that contained two teenage boys in the front seat. It already took him long enough to stop punishing you for leaving at night, eventually giving up on denying you your freedom once you started to pace around the house all night instead.

“Alright, no problem.” He said quickly and you were glad he didn’t push the topic although you could tell he wanted to, a curious look on his features. Heeseung seemed to have a habit of clearly showcasing his emotions and you were grateful considering it made him easier to understand but frustrated when it was a look of pity or sympathy on his face.

You didn’t say anything when he continued to walk with you past the convenience store, walking side by side on the sidewalks even as they thinned out as you slightly left the city area.

He still didn’t speak again even when you both stood together and waited for the bus to arrive, him leaning against the plastic material covering the stops bench and you standing outside of it so the driver didn’t just blow right past you, not expecting somebody out this late.

It was you that finally turned towards him once you caught sight of the bus approaching, tugging on one of your ears awkwardly and shuffling your feet while you waited for it to get closer. You could hear it squealing to a stop, the doors creaking open while he looked at you with a raised eyebrow.

“I’m…” His stare was throwing you off and you started to falter in your words while nervously looking behind you towards the driver who was waiting. “I’ll be here tomorrow around the same time so… if you wanted to.. or if like..”

You trailed off with a sigh but he seemed to get the general idea, a small smile on his face as he dipped his head down slightly in a conforming nod, relief washing over you at the fact he hadn’t found your indirect invitation weird or out of place. You raised your hand in a wave goodbye and he returned, watching you as you pulled your headphones over your hat and ears and boarded the bus swiftly, softly thanking the driver for waiting and finding a seat towards the back.

You could see him outside the window as you pulled off, still leaning against the booth and watching the bus as it left until it rounded the corner. You flushed at the fact he had walked you to your stop despite needing to return back to the city area to get a ride from Jake, not even hesitating when you passed by the store earlier.

It was exciting to be interested in somebody or even something at all, rarely feeling too extreme of emotions considering how dull and hazy everything became with your repeated exhausted routine. Not even your father, sprawled on the couch and surrounded by empty beer cans, could damper your mood as you entered your small house.

It took you a long time, hours staring at your ceiling with a half wandering mind but you eventually managed to get a little bit of sleep, thoughts of Heeseung and his wired headphones accompanying you.

——

The routine continued like this for awhile and you slowly got accustomed to it, now expecting to see him every time you boarded the bus and he was already there waiting for you with his large backpack saving you the seat beside him.

Sometimes you didn’t talk, walking in silence for hours or finding a nice place to sit and do your own individual activities side by side. Other nights you struck up small conversation, talking about the city and your favorite places to go and every once in a while delving into deeper categories that slowly chipped away at the uncomfortable feeling that always came along with attempting to trust somebody.

Heeseung was nice to you and you liked that about him as selfish as it sounded. He never expected you to answer his questions and he rarely pried, around the second day he had even started to pull out snacks from his backpack and hand them over to you after he opened them.

It was a bit into meeting now and he was walking you back to the bus stop, large hands tightly holding onto the straps of his backpack like they always were. He had lots of little habits like that and you carefully filed them all away in your memory. Sometimes he boarded the bus with you but others he just walked with you down there before leaning against the booth and waiting for you to round the corner.

Sometimes you wanted to ask him where he lived, he had to be further away from the city than you considering he was always on the bus before you at the start of the night but that would put him at even more of a distance from your school than you were already at.

Speaking of school, you’d yet to see him around the building and you surprised yourself by actually keeping an eye out throughout the day. You were scanning your tired eyes around the cafeteria and turning your dizzy head in classrooms to see if he was present but you’d not caught sight of him yet and you felt weird about asking where he was.

Maybe he didn’t want to be friends outside of the few hours of the night you spent together, time almost nonexistent here. You felt like the world was frozen most nights you spent with him around the city and you figured he must prefer that aspect versus actually interacting with you in the daytime where other people could see.

You were too distracted in your thoughts that you didn’t even realize your brain was auto-piloting and boarding onto the bus before you even checked if he was coming along, going to turn around to see and completely missing the first large step off the ground. You fell forward and you imagined your side would’ve painfully landed directed on the jagged edges of the steps but you didn’t get a chance to find out, suspending in mid air considering Heeseung had jolted forward to grab onto you.

You could feel his hand wrapped around your side, the other placed in the middle of your shoulder blades so he could support your weight without falling forward himself. Your eyes were wide from almost hurting yourself and you flushed bright red at the concerned look on his face, helping you back to a standing position but keeping his hand on your waist even after you were fully stable.

The bus driver was clearing his throat and Heeseung glanced behind him awkwardly like he was originally not meant to get on the bus, but he turned back towards you and took a step onto the same one you were standing on.

It didn’t pass by you that this was the closest you’d ever been to him, normally keeping a few feet between you when you found a place to sit for the night and rarely ever being close enough to bump shoulders while walking side by side. Now, since he was stood on the same small step as you, you were practically pushed up against him while his hand was still gently against your side despite not having a reason to hold onto you anymore.

He was leaning forward, his chest pressing against you more and you awkwardly looked down at his feet instead of focusing on how tall he was at this distance, and you vaguely registered the fact he was paying for both of your bus tickets.

He seemed to catch on to the fact you were out of it a bit and losing focus, his hand pushing into your side slightly to let you know it was time to fully enter the bus and find your seats. You expected him to let you go once you entered the thin aisle but he didn’t and even when he was stood behind you walking towards the back, he kept his hand around your waist like he was guiding you.

It was removed once you took your seats and you found yourself still able to feel it for some reason, the feeling burned into your mind as he awkwardly cleared his throat and scratched at the back of his neck again.

You glanced over at him and his nervous demeanor, his hands fidgeting with his ripped pants now like he was also still reeling from the feeling of touching you so randomly. His hair was messy like normal but it was getting longer now, falling forward into his eyes so you couldn’t quite see what his expression was. You watched him as he put his headphones in but you leaned forward slightly to confirm that he wasn’t actually playing any music.

“Did you have somewhere to be?” You were asking him softly and then repeating it louder when you realized his headphones might block out some of your volume.

He looked at you with a raised eyebrow and took the one closest to you out of his ear, wrapping it around the outside instead and thinking for a second before he gave you an answer.

“Not necessarily.” He was mumbling back but sighing softly when you gave him a disbelieving look. “Okay well kind of but I want to get you home first.”

“I barely tripped.” You were rolling your eyes at him being overly concerned but the flush in your face gave you away and he laughed softly.

“Maybe I just wanted to hang out with you a little bit longer.” He was shrugging and turning his head to look at you better, smiling more at the way you squeezed your shoulders together and awkwardly glared forward at the floor.

“We could always hang out in school.” You were offering after a few beats of silence and you immediately regretted it, not sure how it even managed to escape your lips considering you’d already told yourself you weren’t going to question him.

His initial reaction didn’t give anything away to you, face remaining blank like he hadn’t put much thought into it but you noticed his hands starting to pick at the tape wrapped around his headphone wire and you felt guilty for bringing it up. You were about to back track and tell him to forget about it or change the subject but he was humming softly.

“I think that’d be nice.” He was saying it casually but there was a nervous edge to his voice and your mouth was downturned slightly. “Where do you eat lunch at?”

“Near the side doors.” You were answering smoothly although you left out the fact you more so used the free half an hour for a quick nap instead of actually eating. “You?”

“The library.” He was saying it hesitantly like he wasn’t sure if he should lie or not, knowing full well there was a no eating policy in that section of the school and you’d realize he wasn’t actually eating at lunch either. You both paused for a second in heavy silence before you were snorting a laugh.

“So you’re a loser basically?” Your comment was teasing and he visibly relaxed at your reaction, chuckling softly and nudging you with his thin shoulder.

“Sorry to disappoint Ms. Popular.” He was retorting back and you were glad to see the small smile return to his face and stay there now that you’ve both established this change in routine.

You wondered if he’d been thinking about it too, keeping an eye out for you or if he was actively avoiding you throughout the hallways like you’d previously thought. Maybe he figured the same as you, that you wouldn’t want to be suddenly seen with him or you wouldn’t acknowledge him and it would ruin the friendship you were slowly building.

When you got off the bus it was nice to see him still there, trying not to wince at how close the stop was to your house and how if it didn’t pull off immediately he’d see you walk up to the overgrown grass with windows titled off their hinges.

You tried not to think about it and after you gave him a small wave through the window you turned on your heel and kept your face forward, steely in your resolve to not spare him another nervous glance. This time you father didn’t seem to be home and you were grateful for that considering you had a feeling you were absolutely radiating with how much you were thinking about the boy.

It was hard to go to sleep, even more so than normal, with the ghost of his hand pressed again you and the knowledge that tomorrow you now knew where to find him. It was up to the two of you to decide if you used this information or ignored it and you weren’t sure which route he was hoping you’d take.

——

“I thought you’d forgotten about me for a second there.” Heeseung’s low voice was hitting your ears the second you crossed into the library and you let out a sigh of relief upon seeing him.

You were worried for the first half of the day that it would be awkward, that you wouldn’t know what to say to each other and it would ruin everything you’d be enjoying so much, but you knew from the second he spoke that you’d made the right choice in coming to find him.

“I was about to give up.” You scowled at him and placed your bag down on the back of the chair, climbing up and sitting across from him at the high top round table in the back of the library. “You’re hard to track down.. plus the librarian kept glaring at me every time I passed her desk like I was trying to steal her books.”

“She’s probably just used to only seeing me.” He was explaining with a small smirk at your complaining and you frowned at him softly while taking a second to take him in.

You weren’t sure why you expected him to look different during the day time, feeling a bit stupid now that you looked at him and he looked exactly the same. Almost exactly, outside of how much more exhausted he looked now that he was running on even less sleep, his hair was messier than it was around 2am and he was nervously looking around.

Heeseung was always handsome to you, despite the fact you tried to pretend you didn’t think so the first few times you hung out, but you noticed things about him under the school lights that you had missed outside in the near dark.

For one, he had his eyebrow pierced. You’re not exactly sure how you managed to not notice that considering you were currently frozen to your seat as you saw it gleaming against the light when he turned his head to look at you in confusion.

He looked embarrassed at the fact you were staring at him so intensely and he brought a hand up to mess with his bangs, the face jewelry disappearing back behind his hair and showcasing why you failed to see it before. His hand had bandaids on a few of his fingers and you almost asked him about them until he tucked them back into his hoodie sleeves.

“You don’t eat?” He was clearing his throat and asking you in a low tone, leaning forward slightly to ensure that you could hear him.

You were shaking your head softly and then shrugging, almost becoming awkward enough to regret coming. “Foods no good here anyway.”

He watched you for a few seconds and you were curious what he was thinking, if he was making similar observations as you. You were suddenly reminded you couldn’t wear your bunny hat to school and it might be the first time he’s seen you without it, seen how dark your under eyes are and how dry and chapped your lips become this time of year.

You didn’t like that you thought about this, didn’t like that you cared about what he was thinking about your appearance.

“We could go get some food after school.” He was suggesting it with a shrug but his eyes were watching you intensely with a hint of hesitance, almost like he was expecting you to say no.

You felt like your breath caught for a few seconds, holding tightly in your chest and you hoped your eyes didn’t widen too much at his suggestion. He was still watching you but his eyes softened slightly at your surprised expression, amused that you seemed just as nervous as he was about this change of pacing.

“Are you paying?” You were eventually wheezing out after a few seconds, letting the words tumble out at the same time your big gulp of air did.

His smile was familiar, the same one he gave you when he caught you staring at him in the park for a sketch reference, the same one he would offer everytime you’d skip onto the bus and grin once you caught sight of him saving your seat. You thought it looked even better in the sunlight.

——

You tried not to think about how weird it was that you and Heeseung left school together, side by side and bumping into each other while navigating the hoard of students all trying to squeeze out of the doors to escape the building.

You wondered if anybody else thought it was weird, if anyone paid enough attention to you in recent years to wonder who the tall boy next to you was. The boy who was currently snaking a hand down to your side like he had at the bus, gently guiding you through a gap in the crowd so you could get outside faster than it would be to stand and wait.

Your face was flushing bright red but he luckily seemed to focused on getting out of the mass of people to realize, eyebrows furrowed in a stressed out expression.

He didn’t remove his hand even after you’d gotten out of the tight pile of bodies, keeping it there comfortably but you knew by the heavy silence that you both were aware it wasn’t anything normal for him to do. You almost couldn’t tell, almost convinced yourself this was his typical behavior and you’d somehow just not realized it, but when you caught his eye and he quickly looked away with a small pink to his cheeks you knew it wasn’t.

Little things were different during daytime hours but not enough to make your head completely spin, giving you that familiar overwhelmed feeling that left you taking deep breaths in the bathroom stall.

The bus was actually full of people for once, only one seat left in the middle of the aisle and Heeseung hurriedly sat you down on it before it was taken. He was standing above you holding onto the pole near the top of the ceiling and you would’ve felt bad he had to do that so you could sit if it wasn’t for the small glances and grins he was sending down your way every time he caught you staring.

When you reached further into the city, somewhere you didn’t fully recognize but he must’ve considering the was leaning forward towards you and tugging on the stop rope, you both thanked the driver and left the bus.

You tried not to be disappointed when he didn’t hold onto you again, silently cursing yourself for feeling that way anyways and pushing it down. You took your backpack off your shoulders as you walked and held it in front of you, fishing for something inside with an annoyed sigh after a few seconds passed without feeling it.

Eventually the familiar fabric was grazing your fingers and you smiled softly as you pulled out your hat and situated it over your head again, pulling a few pieces of hair out in the front and glancing over at Heeseung who had been watching you.

“Woah Y/N, when’d you get here?” He was mock gasping, a hand coming up to cover his mouth and stumble back on the sidewalk like you had surprised him.

You grumbled at his antics and elbowed him in the side, trying to pretend your heart didn’t pick up in pace when he laughed loudly at your reaction and grabbed onto your jacket so he didn’t go tumbling into the street from your small shove. He didn’t let go for a few seconds even after he was steadied, rubbing the materiel between his fingers before dropping it.

You wondered if he was always this touchy with people or if he had just grown comfortable with you fast considering the strange and slightly intimidate circumstances you’d been hanging out under.

He was walking side by side with you but you were following his lead, still not exactly sure where he was bringing you to. You fell back into a comfortable silence like you always did as you traversed the city and you felt a little bit dizzy due to exhaustion and the bright glare of the sun.

It only worsened when you were rounding a corner, passing by a large building that was originally blocking your view of the next street over, and you caught sight of a familiar back that caused you to freeze in your tracks.

Heeseung took a few steps forward before realizing you weren’t continuing and he turned back to look at you with a concerned expression, approaching you again and standing in front of you. His large frame was blocking your view now but you slowly leaned over to look past him and immediately shot back to hide behind his chest and wince.

“What’s wrong?” He was rushing out and his eyebrows were furrowed with worry, a hand coming up but stopping just short of your arm like he wasn’t sure he was supposed to touch you.

“I-I have to go.” You were rushing out and you felt embarrassed underneath your panic, hands shaking slightly and you swallowed harshly.

He was frowning and turning his body to look behind him and try to see whatever had spooked you, immediately whipping back around due to the fact him moving had allowed you to see the man again, this time facing your direction with a suspicious look on his face. You imagined it was due to the fact Heeseung was just standing in the middle of the sidewalk but your heart started to race so hard it was painful at the chance he had seen you.

“Who is that?” Heeseung was, thankfully, getting the idea slowly and lowering his face as he spoke to you. You didn’t answer immediately and he was bending down so he was closer to your face, his hand finally connecting to your arm and cupping the back of your elbow. “Y/N, who is that?”

“It’s my dad.” You whispered back in a harsh tone and you’re not sure why you said it, never talking about family or each others parents before and never planning to.

Heeseung paused for a second and then his eyes were darkening like he had figured something else out, you felt humiliated knowing he must be piecing together every strange reaction you’ve ever had to the suggestion of being brought home by Jake or for him to walk you to your door.

He was glancing behind him again and a small noise of protest slipped out of your mouth, your hands coming up to land on his chest and scrunch his hoodies fabric up in your hands. He was looking back at you quickly and his eyes softened at the scared expression on your face but could still see anger swimming in his.

You weren’t sure if Heeseung was a violent person, thinking there was no way it was possible for the boy who was as sweet to you as he was unprompted, to ever willingly harm somebody but you’d also never given him any reason to be mean or treat you poorly. You thought about his bandaged hands for a second and then immediately felt guilty for doing so.

“Let me take you home.” He was saying after a few seconds and you shook your head, too overwhelmed to think clearly for a second. “Baby, let me take you home.”

The pet name snapped you out of it and you looked up at him, feeling more and more humiliated by the second at the fact your eyes were watering and you were still anxiously bunching his hoodie in your hands.

“T-the bus is too slow, he’s just now leaving the liquor store but he has a car and by the time we walk back and get on and it makes all the stops it’ll be too late and-“ You were speaking a mile a minute and you felt his hand squeeze your arm before he cut you off.

“I’m parked around the corner.” He rushed out in an attempt to stop you so you could take a breath, freezing and furrowing your eyebrows in confusion when you registered what he was saying. He winced slightly at your reaction and a weird feeling passed through your chest. You were raising your hands off of his chest before slamming them back down against him in annoyance, ignoring the small pained sound he made.

“You idiot.” You spat out at him in a harsh whisper, shaking your head and glaring up at his guilty face. “You’ve had a car this entire time?”

He looked sheepish and you suddenly felt very stupid for somehow missing this, and then slightly flattered and embarrassed that he had been riding the bus with you every single day despite being parked in the opposite direction. It made sense now to you why he was sometimes hesitant to board, unlocking the knowledge that he had been riding it all the way back alone after you’d gotten off.

“Not the entire time.” He was trying to explain himself but you could tell he was lying slightly. “It was in the shop the first time we met, that’s why Jake drove me home.”

You sighed and glared at him again but you weren’t actually mad, just slightly upset that he had been inconveniencing himself this much for some reason you didn’t quite understand.

“I just wanted an excuse to spend more time with you.” He was offering an explanation before you even had a chance to ask him and your expression softened at the reasoning, hands flatting out against him in a silent apology for hitting him.

“You’re still an idiot.” You were mumbling but your voice held no malice and he smiled at the fact he was clearly forgiven. Things felt tensioned again now that the conversation died down and you were both suddenly reminded of the fact you were touching each other and standing nearly toe to toe. “I really do have to go.”

“And I really will take you.” He was whispering back with a stressed sincerity and you frowned from the guilt of both making him drive you and not eating together like you had planned.

Heeseung was guiding you back around the buildings corner slowly, backing you up and shuffling forward with you so you didn’t need to step out from behind his chest and risk being seen. You were pouting as you awkwardly walked backwards and it remained on your face even when you were able to face forward like normal and follow him to where he had parked his car.

His car looked pretty much exactly how you figured it would, low to the ground and chipping paint in different sections of it but it was very him and you laughed softly when you remembered how ridiculous it was that he’d had one this entire time.

He seemed embarrassed when you got into the passenger seat, looking into the backseat to check if it was messy and rearranging the different CD’s that were sitting on top of his center console. You moved them over to your lap and started to mess with them while he pulled off the curb.

“Basement, Title Fight,” You were humming softly while flipping through them and reading out the artist titles, ignoring the way he was sending you nervous side glances between looking at the road. “Elliot Smith.. is this what you’re always playing in your headphones?”

“Too cliche?” He was retorting back and you scrunched your nose when you looked up at his side profile, a small smirk playing on his lips at your amusement.

“The fact you even keep CD’s still is kind of cliche.” You were throwing back to him and he glanced at you to smile fully and shake his head, watching the way you were leaned against his car door and casually looking through his stuff for a second before going back to focusing on the road.

“You still like me even though I listen to scratched CD’s and drive a 2002 shit bucket?” He was responding and you both paused.

His wording didn’t miss you but you weren’t sure if it was intentional or not, also unable to tell if he was speaking in a platonic way or if he was genuinely asking you if you liked him romantically. His mouth was parting like he was trying to think of a way to backtrack and you cleared your throat before he could, leaning forward to push a CD into the radios slot.

He didn’t say anything for a few seconds and you let the song play for a beat or two before you were leaning back into his torn leather seats and glancing at him again.

“Yeah.. I still like you.” Your voice was lower than it was before, barely filtering over the sound of the music building up but you knew he managed to catch it considering the way he was biting the inside of his cheek and avoiding looking in your direction for the rest of the ride.

He didn’t need to ask you for the way to your neighborhood considering he’s been riding past it 4 times a day but he glanced at you for help when you entered the street and you leaned forward to point towards your house. Your dads car wasn’t in the driveway and you breathed a sigh of relief when he pulled up near the curb.

You didn’t think too much about the state of disarray your home was in this time, for some reason not minding if he saw how messed up things were for you. The feeling had settled into your stomach that he wouldn’t care, that he wasn’t going to give you a sorry look or treat you differently.

He was surprising you by opening his door before you’d gotten out and you watched him round the hood with confusion, flushing when he came over to your side to open yours for you and hold it while you scrambled out. You leaned against the door once he had closed it behind you and he stood in front of you like he had on the sidewalk, his dirty sneakers pressing against the toe of yours.

“So…” You were dragging out the word and trailing off nervously, looking up at him through your eyelashes and thinking about how cute he looked peering down at you.

“So.” His lips were curling up in a smirk at your lack of words and you frowned at the expression, reaching up to pinch at his arm and keep it there when he let out a low chuckle. His hand was coming up to touch your bunny hat and you laughed softly at the way he pushed it behind your shoulder, almost like it was a piece of your hair.

“We shouldn’t be talking here.” You told him in a low voice, not wanting to speak any louder considering how close his face was getting to yours. “My dad would kill me if he saw you.”

“Right.” He was nodding but he wasn’t taking a step back or making any move that indicated he was going to leave, just watching you and you could feel his arm tense underneath your touch. “Do you want me to go?”

You were shaking your head swiftly although you knew he needed to, you liked his company and you found yourself missing him every time you were away for too long. You somehow managed to have fun today despite the fact you’d almost had a panic attack upon seeing your dad and how awkward it had felt to search for him in the school.

“I should go.” He was sighing even though you had said you didn’t want him to, thinking logically despite obviously also not wanting to leave. He was leaning forward again and for a second you could feel his chest pushed up against yours before he swayed back like he hadn’t done it.

Your heart felt heavy at the fact he was going to leave you there, in such a rotten place that left you restless and miserable, but you were slightly humiliated by the large frown on your face. Before you could think about it, in an attempt to hide your expression, you were pulling him forward by his hoodie sleeve and wrapping your arms around him in a tight hug.

He hesitated for a few seconds, just from the surprise of the contact, and then he was slowly wrapping his long arms completely around you and keeping you pulled tightly to his chest. You could feel him take a deep breath, surrounded by his warmth and burying your face into the soft fabric of his oversized hoodie, listening to his heart beat increase slightly when you squeezed him for a second.

You were pulling back after a few seconds, leaning into the car again and you knew your face must’ve been flushed red with a dazed look in your eyes considering the way he faltered and smiled sheepishly at you.

“Well.. I have to go.” You were rushing out to him and he nodded, taking a step back so you were able to walk away without having to push past his large frame.

“I’ll see you tomorrow.” His voice was lower than normal and carrying a slight rasp that made something flip around in your gut, trying not to look at him as you quickly waved and scurried away up your front path and into the doorway.

You stood there, back pressed against your front door now that it was closed, and took deep breaths to try and calm yourself down as you listened to his car pull off. A smile was building itself up on your face despite being slightly embarrassed over your bold move and you felt like a cloud of giddiness was following you around.

“So that’s what you sneak off to do every night?” Your entire body froze up in shock and you immediately stopped in place, bones going rigid and blood running cold at the sound of your fathers slurred voice coming from the living room.

Any sense or happiness or calm Heeseung had brought you was immediately disappearing and replaced with terror at the realization he was home, and had clearly seen you through the window before you came inside. You were stuck in silence and you could feel the dark tension radiating off of him although you couldn’t even see him yet.

“You’re out there embarrassing me, making a mess of our name.” He was hissing and you watched him rise from his arm chair and come out of the shadows like a fairytale monster, cowering in on yourself like you were a little girl again. “Whoring around with that delinquent.”

“N-no dad, I promise it isn’t like that I just-“ He was cutting you and your stutters off, slamming his hand down against the wall near your head and you closed your eyes in a wince, listening to the way the framed photos rattled on the wall.

A few seconds passed and you were holding your breath, waiting for him to continue to insult you and tell you what you had done wrong but when the tension continued to grow you realized he was more angry than you thought. You felt your hands hit the floor before you felt the pain in your cheek, not even realizing he had hit you for a few seconds because of the shock.

He’d hit you before but it was rare in recent years, not wanting to risk you showing up to school with a black eye or bruised cheek.

Your hand was coming up to cup the side of your face, shaking against your skin and feeling how hot and swollen it already was from his large calloused palm. You didn’t want to look at him and see his sneering face, instead staring forward at the way your bunny hat had flown off on impact and landed a few feet away on the floor.

“No more going out at night.” He was spitting the words down at you, curled into a ball against the wall on the floor and willingly away the pain under your palm. “I’ll put a padlock on your door if I have to.”

With that, he was staggering back into the darkness of the living room and you could hear the groan of the armchair under his weight. You sat there for a few more seconds, frozen and making sure it was clear for you to move before you were scurrying up the stairs and grabbing your hat as you passed by.

When you got to your room you threw it into the corner and collapsed onto your bed in a fit of sobs, burying your face deep into your pillow and crying so hard you thought you might just explode.

You felt even worse for the reason you were crying, not because you’d gotten caught or punished and not because your father was upset with you. You cried over the fear of not being able to see Heeseung anymore, the idea of never being able to safely return to the city at night causing you such distress you continued to sob until your throat was sore and your chest ached.

The sun was setting eventually and your room was darkening, never having the light switch turned on and just letting the night take over every single day, but you failed to notice considering how burrowed under the covers in your own misery you were.

You didn’t mean to care about somebody this deeply, having sworn against it after your mother passed and you were left with a shell of a man, your father becoming half the person he was with grief and never bothering to heal himself for your sake. You’d spent recent years tiptoeing around the house and trying to show as little evidence as possible that you existed, part of the reason he didn’t fully mind you disappearing at night or sleeping all day.

You felt stupid but getting caught with Heeseung after so narrowly escaping your father in the city, completely letting your guard down and being foolish because of your feelings.

But the other part of you didn’t care, you deserved to be giddy and act stupid because you liked somebody and his reaction wasn’t your fault.

Thinking of Heeseung made you remember he’d probably be waiting for you tonight and you started to cry harder again. You were worried he’d over think about your intimacy and small confession today and mistake you not showing up to the bus stop as you rejecting him, retreating back into yourself and leaving him alone like he had been before your night time meetings.

You must’ve dozed off from crying and the stress of the day, only waking up with dry skin and swollen eyes when you started to register a faint repeated noise.

You were sitting up with a puffy pout and looking around in a dazed confusion, at first because you couldn’t identify it and then even more so because you realized it was coming from your window. You staggered out of bed to open it and stop the noise and you let out a gasp, ducking and just barely missing being hit by a small stone that flew into your room.

“Fuck.” A voice down below was whispering and you glanced down to see Heeseung stood at the side of your house with his hoodie pulled up over his head. “Did I hit you? I’m sorry.”

You felt panic grow in your chest at the sight of him although you were happy to see that you had a chance to explain what had happened, glancing behind you in fear before turning again to glare at him from the second floor.

“You can’t be here.” You hissed out and he gave you a guilty look, like he knew you were going to say that but couldn’t help himself anyways. You let out a small sigh and you eyes softened at his expression. “I told you he was going to kill me.”

You didn’t need to say it for him to understand that your dad must’ve been home and you saw his face darken again like it had earlier, feeling thankful that you were too high up and it was too dark for him to see the bruise that must have been forming on your face now.

“Is he awake?” He was whispering back after a few seconds and you paused at his unexpected question.

He didn’t say anything when you held up a finger to indicate you’d be back, tiptoeing back to the other side of your room and cracking open the door. You held your breath so you could hear every noise clearly and you waited until the sound of his snores filtered up the stairs to you, confirming he had drank himself unconscious again and was out for the night. You still didn’t want to risk sneaking out and having him wake up and you walked back to your window with a heavy heart.

“He’s out but-“ You were starting to explain you couldn’t come along when Heeseung was nodding and walking towards the front of your house, your eyebrows furrowing in confusion as you called his name softly. He turned back to look at you and you raised your hands in bewilderment. “What are you doing?”

“Let me in.” He whisper yelled back and gave you a look like it was an obvious thing for you to do, smiling slightly when your astonished face only deepened.

You were groaning when he disappeared around the side of the house and you left your room before you had a chance to think about it more, sneaking down the stairs as silently as possibly and trying not to let out a breath when you passed by the entrance to the living room.

It was strange to see Heeseung on your porch when you cracked open the front door, even stranger when he took a step inside your hallway and you took him in against the familiar setting. You hadn’t had somebody inside your house in years and you were thankful that he kept his gaze tightly on you and didn’t look around at the mess.

You brought a finger to your lips and indicated towards the living room where your dad was, a loud snore coming from him at that exact moment and causing you to jump where you stood. Heeseung was bringing a hand up to your arm in an attempt to calm you and he nodded in understanding that he needed to keep quiet.

When you took a step on the first stair you winced and glanced back at him, knowing his weight and tall frame would make it groan louder than normal.

Still, you took his hand in yours and let it hang behind you as you gently led him up the old wood and into the hallway that would lead to your bedroom. He still didn’t speak once you entered it and for a second you were worried he would ask you to turn the lights on, thankful when he finally took a deep breath and glanced around at your belongings.

“So this is where she returns to.” He was muttering under his breath and you felt a little embarrassed as he took in your room.

Not as embarrassed as you felt when he was looking back at you intensely, you figured he could see you better now that you were closer and illuminated by the moonlight shining in from your window but you knew you were correct when his eyes were hardening again suddenly. You winced slightly when his hands were coming up to cup your face, the right one just hovering and not connecting with the bruised and swollen skin.

“This was him?” He was whispering, his eyes filtering up to stare into yours and your stomach turned at how serious he sounded. You hadn’t seen him have this look in his eye before and it put you slightly on edge.

You were hesitantly nodding your head and you knew your eyes must have started watering judging by the fact his face softened and he gently caressed your uninjured cheek, shaking his head and bringing you over to sit down on your bed.

“I’m sorry.” He was whispering to you and leaning forward to connect your foreheads, watching you with a hurt look. It was reminiscent of the pitiful glance so many people have given you throughout your life but you knew it was different, he was different.

“It’s not your fault.” You were telling him and you truly meant it, your hand coming up to rest on his wrist and squeeze it softly.

“It is though. I should’ve dropped you off up the street where the bus stops, it was stupid.” He was muttering and you wanted to remind him that you’d pointed out your house and you’d been the one to tell him to stay, but you weren’t sure it was going to make much of a difference.

You thought about the fact he was inside of your house right now, only a few hours after you’d gotten punished for even being seen with him and you snorted a teary laugh at the irony of calling such a small act, such as earlier stupid.

“You make me stupid.” You were telling him and he smiled softly at your joking tone, knowing that you were completely serious.

“You scared me when you didn’t show up.” He was saying back and his tone was serious again, brushing back your hair that was normally hidden under your knitted hat. “I was about to tear the city apart looking for you before I thought about coming here first.”

You laughed slightly at the idea of somebody as kind as Heeseung raging through the city in search of you, pressing your head harder against his before leaning back a bit so you could take a deep breath and shake your head at him.

“You’re lucky I woke up before him.” Your tone was light and teasing but you both understood the heavy truth in the statement, his face dropping again.

He had failed to take you literally when you exclaimed about your father killing you but you didn’t blame him, not liking the guilt that coated his face again as he mirrored your deep breath.

“You couldn’t have known.” You were telling him in a gentle voice but he was still not looking at you, only picking up his head when your hand was brushing through his bangs. “Heeseung, it’s not your fault.”

He was nodding softly and chewing on his lip but you had a feeling he was only agreeing to make you feel better, still having that dark guilty look on his face. You sighed softly and glanced behind you at your small bed, scooting back a few inches before looking at him again.

He was giving you a soft and tired smile, clearly understanding what you were insinuating and you tried to not throw up from nerves when you were both moving around so you could lay down on your bed together. You’d been experiencing the most intimacy you’d had since you were a kid with him and your stomach was tight with anxiety.

Heeseung didn’t seem to think much of it, flopping back against your pillows and sucking in a deep relieved sigh. His one knee was bent upwards towards your ceiling and his left arm was sprawled across the rest of the bed, leaving you no choice but to lay on top of it. He was pulling you forward slightly by your shoulders so you could rest your head on his chest and you were slightly relieved to hear how fast it was beating, despite his calm demeanor.

“How’d we get here.” You were whispering after a bit of silence and you could feel his laughter before you heard it, his warm chest rumbling slightly with the sound

“I thought you looked cute standing up to two drunk assholes.” He mumbled back and you pinched his side slightly, draping your arm across his stomach. “You should’ve seen Jake’s face when I asked about you the next morning.”

“Probably the same expression he had when I ran into the store four hours early.” You felt embarrassed to be admitting it but you liked the way it made him laugh again, gently rubbing your shoulder over the shared fact you both had been interested in each other from the start.

You fell into silence again and after a moment you picked your head up again to look at him closer, still pressed against his side but rolling onto your stomach slightly so you could study his face. He was watching you with a curious expression and your hand come up to brush his bangs back, revealing his eyebrow piercing to you again.

He didn’t say anything when you pressed against it, rolling one of the balls between your fingers for a few seconds before rubbing along his eyebrow bone until you hit the bump of metal, but his eyes darkened slightly at your fascination and you faintly felt his hand slip down to your side and squeeze it.

“He called you a delinquent.” You were whispering to him with a small smirk, raising an eyebrow as you recounted what your father had said about him. “He’d probably lose his mind if he came in here right now.”

Heeseung didn’t seem to share your amusement about the subject considering how hard his face was as you talked about it, only his eyes staying soft as he looked over your features from such a close distance.

“I’d kill him.” He was mumbling back and you snickered for a second before realizing he wasn’t laughing, his face serious as he watched you for your reaction to what he was saying. You frowned slightly and laid your hands down on his chest, rubbing it for a second before shaking your head.

“Don’t say that.” You were muttering under your breath, following it with an awkward laugh at the sudden tension in the air.

“I’m serious.” He was saying back immediately and you looked back up at his eyes, frowning deeper since you knew he was telling the truth. A part of you felt strangely prideful about it, your stomach lighting up at the fact he was so protective over you and willingly to interfere if your father busted through the door.

The other part of you was slightly concerned with his sudden demeanor, only catching glimpses of it before and brushing it off considering how gentle and lighthearted he always was with you. You wondered if it was a good time to ask him about the bandages around his hands but you decided against it.

“Then what?” You surprised yourself by humoring his hypothetical situation for a second, watching the way his eyebrows jumped in surprise. “What happens after?”

“You can come with me.” He was saying it swiftly like it was something he’d considered before, eyes remaining serious despite the fact he was noticeably being more careful with his words.

You hummed softly at him, your hand moving from his chest to trail up his neck for a second before coming back to rest again. You didn’t think anything of the movement, just absentmindedly touching him and being fascinated by the feeling of somebody else’s skin other than yours, but you could tell by the way his eyes darkened that you had caught his attention.

“Would you come with me?” He was asking in a low voice, eyes tired and lazy as he peered down at you but very much focused in on your expression as he waited for your response.

You were watching him in return and you were sure he could feel your heart beating against his arm, rolling back around so you were laying on your side again and cuddled up against his side instead of laying on your stomach and directly facing him. You knew your face must’ve been flushed by now and it continued to redden as you thought of a response.

“Of course I would.” You mumbled back and it slightly scared you how much you found yourself meaning the words.

Now it was his turn to him, low and rumbling in his chest against the side of your face. You scooted closer to him instinctively and you felt his hand gently squeeze against your side when he realized you were moving again, your shirt riding up slightly as you shifted so now his skin was pressed against yours.

You were glancing up at him at the feeling of him touching you and you awkwardly looked away when you realized he was already staring, a hazy look in his dark eyes. Heeseung’s demeanor felt different tonight, or maybe it was just the intimate setting.

“C’mere.” He was rasping out the word and the syllables were slurring together, your heartbeat so heavy and loud that you almost didn’t hear him for a few seconds. You scooted up further on his chest so you could look at him, your upper half lifted slightly so your face was hovering over his and he could bring a hand up to cup your uninjured cheek again.

“We can run away together.” He was muttering now that you were close to each others faces again, his big hand nearly covering the entire side of yours and you smiled softly at his statement. He looked slightly serious still but you saw the corner of his lip quirk up and you ducked your head in embarrassment. “I’d take care of you.”

“Oh, would you now?” Your voice was teasing and you raised your eyebrows at him, biting your lip to try and stop the big smile on your face from spreading. You let your arms shift forward again to rest on his chest and you could feel his collarbones under your palm.

He was nodding but not speaking again, watching you intensely and you felt your smile drop slightly at the look on his face. You’d been with a boy before, not all the way and nothing serious but you wouldn’t consider yourself necessarily unexperienced. Still, you’d never felt so tensioned and attracted to somebody before like you did with Heeseung and he hadn’t even tried to kiss you before.

His demeanor, confident but not ever cocky and sometimes sheepish like he acted on impulse, was the most attractive part of him to you and being in such close proximity didn’t help.

“Could you take care of me now?” You weren’t sure what pushed you to whisper the words out to him, hesitant and slow but being said nonetheless and you watch his eyes flash with something unfamiliar for a moment.

Then Heeseung was leaning forward off your pillows, his hand that was cupping your face being used to bring you forward so you could meet him halfway into a slow kiss that sent a shiver down your spine. You could feel his heart beating underneath your chest as you scooted forward more to completely lay on top of him and kiss him deeper.

You were overwhelmed by how perfect it felt to be kissing him, how warm and familiar the feeling of him underneath you was and you sucked in a small breath when he pulled back for a second before surging forward again to kiss him more.

If he was surprised by this he didn’t show it, his hand pushing up more so your shirt would ride up on your stomach and he could feel more of your side under his hand. You knew he felt the shiver wrack through you, the goosebumps on your skin at the feeling of the callousness of his and he chuckled softly into the kiss that was getting heavier with every passing second.

You could feel Heeseung biting down on your lip, almost painfully, and you were reminded of that dark expression he sometimes got. He was immediately licking over the skin he had bitten, soothing it out with his tongue and you made an embarrassing noise when he was suddenly slipping it into your mouth.

“Calm down.” He was pulling back a few centimeters to whisper to you, his voice breathy and carrying a small chuckle as he teased you for your reaction.

“I can’t.” You responded honestly, shaking your head softly and leaning in again to peck his lips quickly. Kissing him was addicting and you felt like your head was spinning from the way he was gently rubbing up and down your side so slowly.

He was laughing loudly at your response and your heart clenched affectionately at the sound, immediately followed by the reminder he wasn’t supposed to be here. You glanced over at your door nervously and when you looked back at him again he was frowning and following your line of vision, seemingly also snapping back to reality.

“I should probably go.” He was muttering and your stomach dropped painfully although you knew he was right, it wasn’t smart to get in trouble more.

“I won’t be able to come out at night for awhile.” You were telling him and your voice sounded saddened and panicked, bunching up his hoodie in your fist again like you had earlier when your anxiety picked up.

“Doesn’t matter.” He was shaking his head and petting your hair softly, raising his eyebrows to really exaggerate the fact that he meant what he was saying. “Find me at school tomorrow and we can figure something out okay? He can’t stop me from seeing you.”

You watched him in silence for a few seconds before you were leaning in to kiss him harshly again, completely drinking him in and savoring the feeling of him pressed against you in case it was the last time you got to have him like this. His hands were sliding back into your hair, keeping you tight into the kiss and moving against you just as desperately.

You felt overwhelmed at his sincere words, never having somebody so adamant on being around you, being so protective over you that he was willingly to risk his own safety just to have a conversation with you.

“You’re crazy.” You were gasping out when you pulled back for air, laughing at the way he was pressing more swift kisses against your lips as you tried to talk.

“You make me crazy.” He was slightly altering and repeating the phrase you had said to him earlier, a smile coming back onto his face now that you clearly felt better about the situation.

It took you a while to get off of him, even longer for you to actually leave your room considering the way he kept shaking his hands around your waist to pull you back in to kiss again. At one point he had you pressed against your bedroom door and you tried not to think how tensioned it felt to kiss standing up like this, letting him lean you against the old wood and explore your mouth with a heavy sense of longing and desire.

You were eventually take control of the never ending situation and pushing him out of your door with a final kiss, watching him smile at you and walk slowly down your stairs. He had suggested you stay up in your room in case the door closing woke up your father and he came looking for you, better to find you upstairs versus suspiciously in the front hallway.

You followed Heeseung’s frame, craning your neck outside the window to be able to see parts of your front lawn, and watching as he tugged his hoodie back over his head and walked a few houses down to where he had parked his car.

He was looking back at your window before he got in and the two of you watched each other for a few beats before you were raising your hand in a shy wave, smiling at the way he returned it before getting inside his car and pulling off slowly.

——

You were getting stares as you rushed through the school halls, your peers not used to seeing you so alert at all throughout the day but especially so early in the morning. You’d only slept for an hour or two but you felt energized at the idea of seeing Heeseung again as you searched for him.

The search stopped short when you were suddenly smacking into somebody rounding the corner, clearly not expecting to encounter somebody moving at the speed you were.

You both flew back from the impact and you landed on your butt a bit away from the boy, glancing up swiftly to see it was somebody you recognized, a friend from middle school who had slowly stopped talking to you after your mother died.

“Shit, I’m sorry Sunoo.” You were stuttering slightly and you suddenly remembered that conversation didn’t come easily to you, forgetting this fact considering you only ever spoke to Heeseung. “I was just-“

“Looking for Lee Heeseung?” He was cutting you off and you paused in your explanation to stare at him, his tone more judging than you remember ever hearing it. “What are you doing hanging around with him Y/N?”

He was standing back to his full height and offering you a hand but after faltering for a few seconds you paused, scoffing under your breath and standing without taking it. Once you were off the ground you were glaring at him, not liking the heavy glance he was sending your way.

“What does it matter to you?” You normally wouldn’t be so confrontational but it upset you how concerned he seemed to be despite completely ditching you alongside the rest of your friend group while you were grieving.

He had no place to judge you or who you decided to hang out with, although it confused you how worried he seemed to be about Heeseung. You weren’t sure how he even knew about the boy considering you didn’t recall ever seeing him around school or your old friends before your run in at the convenience store.

“He’s dangerous Y/N.” He was spitting the words at you but you could tell you weren’t the reason for his anger, eyebrows furrowing slightly as he looked at you like he was confused if you truly didn’t understand the reason for his worry.

“What are you talking about?” You were looking at him in bewilderment and you felt your heart start to beat slightly at the fact he was clearly implying something had happened with the boy you’d spent so much time with recently. You were suddenly reminded that you didn’t know much about him, never talking about family life or what he did outside of being with you.

“Why don’t you ask him?” Sunoo was sighing and you were confused at his sudden dismissal until you realized his eyes were going past your shoulder now, turning your head and seeing the boy in question standing a few feet away and watching the two of you interact.

Heeseung didn’t look dangerous to you, especially in the way he was clutching the straps of his backpack and carrying a nervous expression. His eyes softened slightly when he saw you but he must’ve registered the worried look on your face because he was suddenly turning in place and going back down the hallway the way he came.

You sighed when he pushed out the side doors, turning back to glare at Sunoo quickly before hurriedly following after the tall boy and rushing back down past the lockers.

“Heeseung.” You were calling his name once you pushed through the double doors, the cold morning air hitting your face swiftly and you winced a bit. “Hee, stop.”

He paused at the sound of your voice and you saw him suck in a reluctant breath before he was turning around to face you. You caught up to him quickly and stopped a few inches in front of him, reaching up to grab his hoodie sleeve and trying not to be offended when he flinched away from your touch.

“What happened?” You were questioning him with slightly widened eyes, looking up at him and trying to read what his face was expressing. “Why are you running away from me?”

“What did he say to you?” His voice was hardened and he was staring daggers down at you, your face crumbling at the harsh expression that you’d never seen directed your way before.

“Nothing, he said nothing.” You were shaking your head quickly and he let out a disbelieving scoff, looking away from you and clenching his jaw in agitation. “Hee, I’m serious. He didn’t say anything, a bunch of none sense I didn’t even understand.”

He was glancing down at you again like he was trying to see if you were telling the truth or not, being met with your big wide eyes and sighing softly in guilt for being so quick to anger. His hand was coming up to touch your face and you leaned into it even though you were still feeling confused over what was happening.

You didn’t say anything when he was reaching down to grab your hand gently, leading you with him out towards the parking lot where you spotted his car parked near the back. You frowned softly behind his back but got into the passenger seat anyways and watched as he started it up but didn’t pull off.

The heat blaring created a small rattling noise and you could hear the song you’d put on before still playing faintly, flushing a bit at the realization he hadn’t changed the CD and was just letting it play on repeat.

“Are you scared of me?” He was suddenly asking and you glanced over at him from the passenger seat, seeing the way he was staring down at his hands as he picked at the skin around his fingers. His legs were spread so his knee was pressing against the middle console and you reached over to place your hand on it gently.

“Of course I’m not.” You were whispering back to him and shifting your body so you could completely face him, your eyes following along his side profile and frowning at how defeated he looked.

“Even if I told you I did something bad?” He was finally glancing at you and you felt sick at how vulnerable his eyes looked, shifting nervously over your face and you hoped your expression didn’t convey how nervous you suddenly felt. “That I hurt somebody really bad?”

You were watching him in silence and it felt like the air from the car got sucked out with his words, hinting towards something darker than you’d expected him to admit. You thought back to the expression he sometimes carried, the way he spoke about your father so casually and the worry on Sunoo’s face. You watched him while thinking of this and you thought about all the other things to.

How he was always so gentle and kind with you, warm and comforting and never doing anything to make you feel worried despite most your time with him being spent alone and late at night. You didn’t know every detail about his life but that didn’t make him seem dangerous to you, he felt familiar and safe and you instinctively squeezed his knee.

“Did they deserve it?” You were finally croaking out, settling on a response that you felt properly conveyed your stance on what he was saying.

You’d thought from the moment you met him that Heeseung was similar to you and you knew the reasons you couldn’t sleep, the demons that kept you up all night restless. You tried to imagine what his looked like and you figured if you were bigger and braver, maybe you’d tried to hurt yours back too.

He wasn’t saying anything for a few seconds, just looking at you like he hadn’t expected that response and you knew immediately it had been the right thing to say. His face was crumbling and he was biting his lip to stop it from trembling, ducking his head forward to nod as an answer to your question.

You were leaning forward over the middle console to pull him in for a hug, not caring about the way the plastic pressed into your stomach uncomfortably or the burn your arms felt from stretching so far to embrace him. He’d help you more than once, brought you back from a dangerous place and a low state of mind and your heart tugged at the sight of him showing that same vulnerability now.

“It’s not your fault.” You were whispering into his hoodie and his arms were snaking around your middle, a small surprised noise slipping from your mouth when he was tugging you over the console and situating you in his lap. He was burying his head deep into your neck and your hand was coming up to rest on the back of his head, his hoodie fabric under your palm.

You didn’t need to hear the full story, you didn’t need for him to painfully recount the details or what had happened for him to do something so drastic and you didn’t need to know who.

Him softly crying into your neck and clutching onto you like a scared child was all you needed to believe him, to understand that whatever rumor or perspective others such as Sunoo had, was wrong.

He was picking his head up to look at you and your heart broke at his red face, tears streaming down his cheeks and a frustration expression coating his features like he was mad at himself for showcasing how upset he was. He was suddenly pressed against you in a kiss and you hesitated for a second in surprise before kissing him back.

You were pushing his hoodie off his head so you could put your hands through his shaggy hair, pulling him tighter against you and feeling the way his wet face was pressing onto yours.

“You can’t leave me.” He was gasping into your mouth and his hands were shakily coming up to cup your face, tilting your head softly and humming into the kiss when you were licking into his mouth and leaning forward so his back was pressed against the car door.

Heeseung was moving a hand down towards your back and you could feel him continuously tugging you forward into him, your hip bone pressing against his stomach as you both found comfort in each others touch. You let him do this for a few seconds longer before you were pulling back a bit to address what he had said.

“I’m not going to leave.” You were gasping as you said it, still trying to catch your breath and he was shaking his head before tugging you forward again, a small noise slipping from your mouth at the feeling of him dragging you up further into his thigh.

“I’m serious.” He was still speaking into your mouth and you pulled back further to look at him, the dark expression back in his eyes now as he watched you. “I’d go crazy if you left.”

It slightly unsettled you how serious he sounded, how he really stressed the words like they were the most important in the world. His hands were still holding onto you tightly like he was terrified you’d slip away if he let up even a little bit and your eyes bounced around his face for a few seconds before you were nodding.

“We can be crazy together.”

“You can’t leave me.” He was gasping into your mouth and his hands were shakily coming up to cup your face, tilting your head softly and humming into the kiss when you were licking into his mouth and leaning forward so his back was pressed against the car door.

Heeseung was moving a hand down towards your back and you could feel him continuously tugging you forward into him, your hip bone pressing against his stomach as you both found comfort in each others touch. You let him do this for a few seconds longer before you were pulling back a bit to address what he had said.

“I’m not going to leave.” You were gasping as you said it, still trying to catch your breath and he was shaking his head before tugging you forward again, a small noise slipping from your mouth at the feeling of him dragging you up further into his thigh.

“I’m serious.” He was still speaking into your mouth and you pulled back further to look at him, the dark expression back in his eyes now as he watched you. “I’d go crazy if you left.”

It slightly unsettled you how serious he sounded, how he really stressed the words like they were the most important in the world. His hands were still holding onto you tightly like he was terrified you’d slip away if he let up even a little bit and your eyes bounced around his face for a few seconds before you were nodding.

“We can be crazy together.”

[suguru-getos]

So. Do you have any hcs for yandere gojo with a non-sorcerer darling? My own personal one would that he's much more protective. I'd also imagine they liked him for him instead of because he's the "strongest", and he found it incredibly endearing. They may or may not be a secret childhood friend or an English teacher at the school who only knows it's a "special" school or something.

ahh i have so many actually, i really live for the power dynamics and the sheer power difference between satoru x non-sorcerer reader

yandere gojo x non-sorcerer reader hcs:

warnings: mentions of abuse, yandere-behavior, mentions of blood, manipulation.

it really drives him mad, whenever you don’t understand what’s the issue. the issue is simply, satoru loving you whole heartedly snd wanting to be there for you!! only you don’t understand. 🤦🏻 what can he do to ensure that — not give you any space at all. sometimes you feel like his choking presence takes your breath away.

whenever you leave for work, he would be texting you things like, “lunch princess?” you haven’t even agreed to be his princess/someone he can call his significant other; that doesn’t stop satoru though. years and years of being worshipped has altered his brain chemistry into thinking that whatever he wants he gets.

he will force you into going on lunches with him everyday. he has too much money and would rather burn it away — as he says, instead, he’s taking you to lunches and dinners. once, you sternly denied that because you had to leave with a colleague of yours. you don’t need a reminder of how badly that ended. he explains how his technique, ao (blue) sucks things, so basically him using that on the guy contracted his veins to the point of rupture but hey!! he is so nice, the dude wouldn’t die. <3 so don’t do it again, yeah?

there are times when you’ve blocked his number because he can be too pesky, then he just visits your mum. video calls you from her phone and pouts like a manchild. he gets what he wants, just not by hurting you. though you often wonder how long till he loses his mind.

one of the days he did, when you snapped at him finally after he waited hours in front of your office because he wanted to eat ‘sushi’ with you. you told him to piss off & you’d rather die than belong to him. he says he is sorry- really sorry for what happened, for the bruises on your neck because of his chokingly nauseating grip that your feet were off the ground. he even cries, kneeling at your feet. “please baby- please don’t be scaref of me please i’d never do it again i- i don’t know what came over me.. i just- just wanted you to shut up! that’s all- because you were hurting me- i was- i just love you please..”

satoru does make false promises mostly, because you have noticed when you piss him off, there are consequences. it’s simple — if you don’t want to have lunch and dinner with him, you don’t get to eat at all. and if you really don’t love the extensive freedom you have? you get kidnapped. and owned, and caged.

you can throw things around, you can do whatever you want in the huge gojo estate, but you can kiss your job goodbye. it wouldn’t stand shit in front of the fortune he possesses anyways.

forced marriage later 👋 that way you can’t really escape from him ever. because he now is the official son in law of your parents, and oh so close to your family… he does love them, just like he loves you. just don’t test it, kay?

[froody]

TLDR: do not read a loved one’s diary.

During Hurricane Helene while the power was out, I was rummaging around in the garage looking for rechargeable battery packs. They happened to be housed in a plastic tote with a number of small notebooks. I decided to take the notebooks and look through them while I sat in my car waiting for my phone (and power bank) to charge. They were mostly blank. Some were mine.

One was my mother’s therapy notes from 2016. I should have closed it and put it back when I noticed what it was. I wish I had. I didn’t. I read it. I’m fucking evil. I invaded her privacy and I read it. Most of it was things I knew she had thought and felt at the time but something hurt me. She called me selfish and self-centered several times. This wouldn’t bother me if she was calling 2024 me selfish/self-centered but I was a SUICIDAL FIFTEEN YEAR OLD at the time.

I spent the ages 12 to 18 essentially locked in my room. My parents had an extremely toxic relationship and whenever I left my room, I ended up in the middle of their arguments trying to mediate and trying to get my mom to leave my father. When I was 13, I remember her busting down my door to take my phone to call her boyfriend because my father had taken her keys and her phone and she had no way to escape the house because we lived in the middle of nowhere with no neighbors. She left that night and LEFT ME WITH HIM.

I didn’t leave my room because my parents would both get drunk and scream at each other and my dad would PUT HIS HANDS ON HER IN FRONT OF ME.

I begged her to leave him for years. I begged. She kept going back. She finally left him when I was 14 but by then I was already traumatized, actively suicidal and failing school due to the stress at home and my worsening mental health. She was not good with my suicidal ideations and spiraling mental health. She didn’t neglect me medically, I saw several different physiatrists and therapists and was on so many psychiatric medications that I cannot remember what I’ve tried and what worked and what didn’t. But whenever I reached out for help, looked to her for support, told her I was suicidal or too anxious to leave the house, she treated it like it was a manipulation tactic on my part. She treated me not like I was faking for attention but like I was faking to hurt HER. One time, when I was 14, I told her I was contemplating suicide and she DROVE AWAY AND LEFT ME ALONE IN OUR NEW HOUSE.

So I locked myself in my room and essentially greyrocked her. I didn’t listen to her problems anymore. I didn’t tell her my problems anymore. I told my problems to 20 and 30 somethings online on Skype and KIK. And she called me selfish and self-centered because I pulled away.

I understand she was an extremely emotionally injured, traumatized and abused woman but I was an extremely emotionally injured and traumatized child. A 15 year old child. A little boy who couldn’t trust and confide in either of his parents. But to her I was selfish and self-centered. Because I did not want to play psychiatrist anymore.

Our relationship only really improved in senior year/into my adulthood. My mental health improved and I learned to cope a little better. I still keep an element of emotional shallowness between us but we don’t fight anymore. I love my mom. I have no doubt my mom loves me. I just cannot trust her with my mental health. That’s okay.

But reading her therapy notes, which I only saw because my ass was snooping and violated her privacy, reopened some horribly healed wound within me and I’ve felt myself disconnect from her again? I don’t know how to explain it. I felt it but I don’t think I really realized what it was until she broke her foot on my birthday while I was home alone an hour and a half away. It’s like this emptiness. I’m struggling to respond to her texts and show appropriate concern and love and pour from that glass within me. I’ve withdrawn back into that snail shell, back into the safety of my own little sphere. And it shouldn’t be something I take out on her. All because I’m hurt by something she felt/wrote 8 years ago, something deeply personal that she expressed privately to a therapist and in her journal. Something I shouldn’t have read. This is so fucked up. I’m so beyond fucked up. I hate myself.

[uplatterme]

Two for the price of one.

—sub!aether/dom!reader, amab!reader, traveler!aether/reader, abyssprince!aether/reader | blowjobs, praise, overstim, cockwarming, rimming, fingering, 3P, vouyerism

—do not ask me anything about this omg

It was chaos when you returned from your mission.

The abyss members were all shriveling, scared that hell would be upon them once the prince snapped. It only stopped when you, his right-hand, scolded them for acting so childishly.

“What exactly is the problem here?” You questioned. You were already tired since you just came back and this is what you have to deal with?

You sighed, walking to where Aether usually would be at this time of day.

When you first see him after all those weeks of being apart, you couldn’t help the smile on your face.

“Your highness, I’ve returned.” 

When your voice reached him, he visibly flinched.

Flinched? Why would the prince flinch from your presence? Did you do something that he disliked?

“Welcome back, how did your mission go?”

Hm. Were you imagining it?

“Everything went just as you planned. The area was littered with Fatui but It’s nothing I couldn’t handle.” You informed.

“Did you get hurt?”

Alright, this was really strange. You’re starting to think that how the other members reacted wasn’t an overreaction.

It’s not that Aether didn’t care for you. He always did. However, it’s been years ever since he’s asked that question. You and him trusted each other enough to the point that such questions weren’t needed even if it came to the most dangerous tasks.

“I’m fine.”

“Good.” He said with the same stern voice.

Perhaps, it was you being delusional again.

At first, the nicer change in attitude was a welcomed one. After all, you liked whenever Aether showed this side of him. A remnant of who he previously was, or still is. It’s just been mostly overshadowed by the…threatening glares that the members of the abyss would cower to.

The prince smiled at you as he called for your name. Your heart felt like it was struck by multiple cupid arrows. You were ready to ascend to heaven now. It was rare to see him smile like he did back then.

“Your highness,” You greeted back, bowing and kneeling in front of him.

An act that brought out an uncomfortable look on his face.

“Is there something wrong?” You asked.

“Nothing!” He quickly said, turning away his head.

“Did I…make a mistake when it came to my previous assignment?”

“No, no. It’s nothing like that…” Aether responded, unsure of how to explain everything.

“So, what is it?”

He didn’t answer. He looked panicked. When was the last time the prince visibly showed his feelings rather than hiding them?

You got up from your knees and went closer to Aether, leaning down on him as he sat on his throne.

He didn’t push away, nor did he act first.

You used this as an opportunity and closed the gap between your lips. You could see Aether’s surprise as that happened. 

You and Aether’s relationship was quite hard to describe. Back then, he wouldn’t have hesitated to call you his partner.

Now, you were only his most trusted. 

Just a right-hand. Even if you two spent nights together on his bed, even if you two sneaked in kisses between meetings, even if you said “I love you” to him while he never responded.

It wasn’t enough.

You’d been so focused on thinking that you forgot the person below you who was currently starting to struggle to breathe as your lips pressed deeper onto him.

His face was just like him. Even his tongue tasted the same way.

Your hand found its place on his cheek as you caressed it. So soft.

Who was he? Where did your prince go while you were gone?

When Aether willingly got on his knees to serve you, there was no doubt in your mind that this wasn’t the man you’d been with for years.

His small mouth took you in as much as he could, licking the tip as he looked at you obediently. You played with the strands on his head, mesmerized by that look on his face.

And perhaps it was rude, but definitely not unwelcomed, when you shoved further inside his throat without any warning. Tears slipped out of his ducts with a pained cry.

He looked so drunk, not even any hesitation when you’d done that. Almost as if he trusted you that you wouldn’t hurt him or do anything that he would have disliked.

“What a good boy,” You praised. “My prince would never do such a thing, you know?”

He looked up at you, probably thinking about how his whole cover was blown away.

“Well, he did. It’s just different nowadays.”

You grabbed the hair on his head and basically used his head as if it was an object, going at your own pace as your cock slid inside of him.

He didn’t argue with you. This person let you do all of this with a loving look on his face.

“You’d probably swallow if I cum inside your throat, huh?” 

He nodded without hesitation. You didn’t get it at all.

“Take it then, you whore.”

As your cum battered his throat, he swallowed it all just like he said he would. The whole situation was strange. You were fucking some stranger and he was overly submissive without even needing to do any kind of work.

You pulled his head away. You needed answers, now.

“Where’s the prince? What did you do to him?” 

He smiled, too aroused with the way you treated him. His cock was visibly throbbing through his pants as he replied to you with a hoarse voice, his throat hurting from you.

“A-Away…He said he needed a break.”

“A break…and who are you exactly?” 

He blushed and turned his head away.

“Aether.”

When he explained everything, you nearly stabbed him with your sword.

An outlander who’s an alternate version of your prince, who is apparently resting inside of a teapot. You thought he was mocking your intelligence at first for making such an excuse.

But when he showed you a floating teapot which transported you inside of another dimension, you were stunned, to say the least.

“It took you a while.” Your Aether greets you, setting down a book that you were not familiar with.

“I didn’t want to doubt you.”

“You trust me too much.” He said as he looked at you, seeing the troubled expression you had. “I missed you too.”

You clenched your fists. “You left without a word. I almost killed that clone once he admitted to your disappearance. You never even waited until I got back. It’s like you didn’t care.”

“He’s not a clone, and I did care. I do. I even asked him to ask if you were hurt in any sort of way. I would have come back if you even had a slight cut on your finger.”

Your heart ached. Why was he being honest now? Why just now and not all those other times when you needed him to be?

“I hate you.”

Those words seem to hurt him even if he knew how untrue it was.

“I love you too.”

“You can’t say that after all those years of ignoring me when I said it!” It hurts you to yell at him. You never liked arguing with him in any sort of way. Still, it had to happen at some point. Maybe, that time was now.

“I didn’t deserve to have it said to me. After all that I’ve done, you stayed with me. Even Dainsleif left once he knew of the stupidity of my plans.”

“I’d follow you until the end of time. I promised you that, didn’t I?” You reminded him. Nothing would separate you two..

“It’s a stupid promise.” He said.

“And yet, I’ll still fulfill it.” You replied, wrapping your arms around his waist.

The Abyss Prince sighed and kissed you, you wanted to cry but you held it back. Finally, after all this time. He was back.

“So, who is that person back there? He better not be a triplet.” You questioned.

Aether laughed at your words. “No, no. He…got here accidentally. I’m still trying to put him back in his original timeline. Of course, I’d have to erase his memories of this. But, talking to him really made me look back on things that are important to me.”

“And that is?” You teased.

“You know the answer already so stop trying to force it out of me.” He said with a slight chuckle.

“By the way, is there a reason he seems so sheepish?” Aether asked.

“I—Well, we may have done something. Please don’t be mad.” You admitted.

Once you told the entirety of what happened, disappointment rose from his face. 

“You did what?”

“I-I was mad! I needed a release and well, he looked and acted so much like you used to!” You told him.

“And? Was he better?” 

“That’s not the fact that you should be worried about!” You shouted again.

“So, he is better, huh? I get it, he’s younger.,.” He grinned, acting hurt about the whole situation.

“No! Stop putting words in my mouth! Besides, it’s been a while since you’ve ever…you know…” You countered. It was nice talking to him so honestly like this.

“Would you let me then?”

You’d never thought you’d be faced with your prince looking so hungry for your cock as another version of himself stood by the corner watching every move.

It’s not fair to compare the two at all. Especially since one is more experienced and knows every kind of thing you like.

“I missed this. Do you think everyone knows how much of a whorish mouth you have?” You questioned while Aether licked the side of your cock, wanting to put it inside of his mouth already.

“I bet everyone else wants to fuck this mouth instead whenever you scold them, huh?” You teased, his cheeks flaring up from your words.

“I only want you.” He said as his ass slightly shook due to impatience.

You smiled. “Good boy. Go on then, take your reward for being so patient.”

The outlander blushed as he stared at the prince taking you in one go. 

He knew exactly how to please you, looking up to you so needily as he took in your entire size. It’s been a while since you’ve done this and yet he still remembers your shape as if you’ve stuck your cock inside his throat for so long that it accommodated your shape.

“You’re doing so well, my prince.”

He visibly choked at your words of praise, he’s a sucker for that. He just needed to be told good things after all the times he’s suffered. And that, you would provide.

“My handsome and talented prince loves sucking my cock, huh? You want to drink my cum, dear?”

Aether nodded as he bobbed his head up and down, enjoying every single moment of it. He rolled his eyes back when he felt your shoe on his cock, stepping on it freely. His previous calm actions were now turning into more anxious ones.

His thighs shook against one another as you continued stepping on him, he’s getting distracted by your movements that he’s forgetting to breathe while your cock is inside of his throat. 

“Calm down. You want to please me, don’t you?”

He nodded again. “Then, relax. Let it all happen. I’m your right-hand, aren’t I? I’ll take good care of you, my prince.”

Aether whimpered, his moans vibrating against you.

Once you finally reached your peak, you didn’t hesitate to press even harder on Aether’s cock that his thighs quivered as he came. You spilled inside of him and he drank it without any complaint, slightly choking as he was too busy and was still on that high from cumming.

He removed his head with a satisfied breath. It was hard not to as it was obvious the two of you missed this for so long.

“Did I do good?”

“Of course. You always do.”

A cough interrupted the two’s longing look into each other’s eyes.

“Right.” Your Aether said as he urged the other to come towards you two.

“What are you…?” You uttered as he followed the prince’s order and walked until he reached the two of you.

“Please. Let me move…” Aether breathed out as your cock was lodged inside of him, it’s been minutes but you still haven’t given him permission.

“Stay still. You’re the one who wanted to include him.” You said as you returned to your tongue on the traveler’s rim.

“C-Can I touch it?” He said, his cheeks warm from the unusual sensation.

“No. What is it with you two being impatient?” You pointed out before taking your fingers and plunging them inside of him.

The traveler easily moaned as it spread through his walls.

Your prince watched in jealousy as the other got pleasured while all he could do was sit there aching for some kind of movement. He so badly wanted to move, but to go against your orders…He’d rather wait than be forced not to cum.

“Isn’t there a version of me in your world? What a shame, look at what you’re missing out.” Your fingers continued to press inside that nub of his, Aether struggling to sit on your chest as he’s forced to take every single thrust of your fingers.

“I-I don’t know…” He responded with a shaky voice, too distracted to even think straight.

“Hm? Well, better find them then.” You said as you give his shaft a lick that sent him trembling.

“Hnngghh…Please!”

“So weak, are you that close already?” Aether nodded as he sobbed, wiping away his tears.

The poor traveler could barely speak anymore, he wanted to cum so badly and here you were bullying him. How mean.

The prince watched intently, he was also waiting for that moment. Once he’s orgasmed, he can finally move. He’s so excited that he didn’t realize he was shifting on your legs, not that you minded much.

“H-Haah~ C-Cumming! I-I can’t!” Aether limped and would have fallen down if it weren’t for you holding him. He came a lot, and his cum tasted just like your Aether’s. It was fascinating getting to fuck two Aethers at once.

“Look at me, hey…” Your prince pleaded for attention as his ass bounced up and down on your cock, sliding in from how stretched he was already from sitting on it for too long.

You gently laid down the traveler next to you, seemingly too tired that he let you move his body however you wanted.

“I’m looking, my prince. Show me how good you are, your highness.”

Aether’s whimpers grew louder and louder as he held onto the bed, continuing to ride you even as tears seeped through his eyes.

“F-Fuck—love love your cock soo much-!” He exclaimed, precum already leaking out of him.

Aether’s insides felt so good. His legs felt so weak already but he wouldn’t let that stop him. He wanted more, more of that pleasure.

It’s so rewarding seeing him act so dumb, incoherent noises coming out of his throat as he struggled to plunge your cock inside of him, his legs shaking so much as it hit deep, so deep inside of his.

“Y-You’re breaking me…Hnn!” He mewled, your cock visibly showing through that tiny waist of his.

“Is that so? But you’re the one bouncing up and down, aren’t you?”

“Yess…I want to be broken by your cock—Mmmf…so good!”

Aether continued in that trance, mindlessly moving his hips until he finally finished, collapsing onto your body as he breathed deeply, his heart about to jump out of his chest.

“You alright?” You asked with a grin on your face.

“Y-Yeah…”

You smiled as you changed positions, getting up and holding his legs up your shoulder.

“You can take more then.” You said, filling him up with one deep thrust.

“N-No! Wait! I-I—I’ll break!”

Aether’s eyes rolled back as you continued to savagely pounded inside him, his fingers grasping through the sheets of the bed, unable to resist as his insides gripped your cock unintentionally, making it even harder to keep his screams from leaking out.

[dmercer91]

in your arms i feel at peace | look after you, tz11

in which trevor is your shoulder to cry on

don't let those super fluffy pictures of z fool you, this is sad as fuck (and dialogue heavy)

when i first started this account i figured i'd be doing mostly nsfw and look at me!!! every character i write has mommy issues :)

also send in for this au pls and thank you ill give you a vital organ

"someone's in a good mood," trevor mumbled behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist as you made breakfast for the two of you. nobody else was awake yet, and it was nice to just have some quiet time with him.

in just a couple weeks you’d become great friends, and you found yourself glued to him or to a book all day every day

“my mom asked if i wanted to go shopping with her today, it’s been a while since we’ve done something like that,” you explained, not clocking the look of worry on trevor’s face

you were over the moon that your mom wanted to spend time with you, one on one. this was your chance to bond with her now that you were closer to being an adult

your chance to fix things and have her treat you as an individual

you figured your mom saw today the same, that she might change. maybe she wouldn’t undermine your issues, compare them to her own

maybe she’d offer you help rather than argue that she was worse off

maybe she’d buy you things you actually like rather than force you to dress like she wanted - professional and proper so that you would be taken more seriously

trevor could tell that you thought today would change some things, and he wasn’t quite sure what to think of it

he knew your relationship with your mom wasn’t great. he knew your relationship with your whole family was less than ideal, actually.

he was a little nervous to see where the day went, but for now? you were excited, and he loved that for you

that excitement didn’t last long

he had a feeling he’d be left picking up the broken pieces of your heart whenever you got back

the feeling was right

but, he didn’t think it’d be this bad.

you were yelling as you walked through the door, your mom poker faced and unimpressed, almost rolling her eyes as she told you to calm down

“would you quit being a brat? there are other people in this house!”

trevor watched from the bottom of the stairs as you paused, laughing to yourself

“right. other people. you know what, mom?” you left space for her to answer you despite the question being rhetorical, but she just crossed her arms

challenging you to say what it was that was on your mind

“i don’t want to be your daughter anymore. from here on out, i am a stranger to you, i am the other people you’re so worried about looking your best for” you smiled softly

your moms face fell from amused to confused, thinking you’d do what you normally did - cry, and then accept any offer to rekindle your relationship in hopes that this time, she’d be a mom to you.

“you’re a pathetic excuse for a mother and i was just a kid. i didn’t- i don’t deserve to be tangled in this stupid, one sided vendetta you have against me for just existing,” your tone was level, you weren’t yelling anymore

your mom scoffed, trying to hold up a cold exterior while facing the reality that she was losing the only person who’d do anything for her

the person who, at seven years old, helped her move out of your dads house after the divorce

the person who didn’t question that you were moving in with a man you’d never met before

the person who cleaned the whole house regularly so that she wouldn’t have to stress about it

the person who helped her with laundry because her boyfriend refused

the person who defended her when he was drunk

the person who let her cry on your shoulder when owen wanted to stay with your dad for some time

the person who didn’t do the same because you didn’t want to hurt her feelings

the person who offers to do anything and everything for her because you know she works a lot

the person who forgives quickly and tries to forget, cause that’s your mom and you believed she could be better

the person who shuts up when you’re feeling down because you don’t want to put more things on her

the person who drops anything you’re feeling cause when you bring it up, suddenly she feels worse than you about that same thing and she needs you to lean on

the person who after seventeen years, has finally given up

you’ve given up.

“don’t you think that’s a little dramatic, y/n?” you smiled with a shake of your head, a tear falling down your face

“that’s kinda the problem, isn’t it? if i was any less emotional you might have me checked for psychopathy.

my whole life you let owen walk all over me. demean me over and over, and of course i cried, i was eight years old.

every time i tried to say something you’d tell me i was too emotional, that he treated me like shit on the bottom of his shoe because it was easy and i reacted too much

that wasn’t the truth. you just didn’t want to deal with it. you were annoyed that i was crying.

regardless i believed you because you were meant to be my mother

the bullying never stopped but every single time i just walked away and suddenly i wasn’t emotional enough for you

i was uncomfortable in my own home and that meant i was rude and blunt and i needed to smile sometimes cause i seemed like a bitch

you made me into that and i think it’s time someone lets you know so you can get the fuck off your high horse, cause we all know you think you’re a great mother”

she clenched her jaw and opened her mouth to speak, but you cut her off

“i’m not done.

news flash, buying me things at the mall just to soften the blow of you being a massive cunt doesn’t make you a good mother

putting a roof over my head and feeding me doesn’t make you a good mother, it just allows you to keep your kids.

so, again. you’re gonna start treating me like a stranger

because it’s not hard to see how insecure you are about how random people see you on the outside

you put up this mask of perfection for people who don’t even know you and never will, but you don’t give a single fuck how your own child sees you on the inside

i’m done being an extension of you to torment and compare yourself to, and i’m staying here wether you like it or not.

i’m here as a friend of quinn’s, now. as a friend of the family’s. this is not my family,”

the room was so quiet you could hear a pin drop

“don’t be disrespectful, y/n. i do a lot for you. i bought you summer clothes today!” you bit the inside of your cheek, filing through you head to look for any memory of her that wasn’t tainted by it’s true purpose, and you couldn’t.

“you didn’t listen to a word i said, huh? figures,”

when you turned and the first thing you saw was trevor, looking at you from the staircase, every bit of yourself willed to not let the dam break until you were alone, with him.

you walked right into him, clinging onto him and pressing your face tight into his neck

he reciprocated the second you were near, taking you into his arms and squeezing you tight, cupping your head and rubbing your back

he helped you up the stairs and towards the door to his room, holding your hand until you got to his bed and he could pull you back into his arms, on his lap.

"what happened, sunshine?" he murmured, letting you comb your fingers through his hair to try and keep yourself calm

it didn't work all that well, tears already streaming down your face now that you were in the comfort of his room, alone where you felt you wouldn't be judged.

your reply was muffled by his shoulder, where you'd pressed your jaw to try and keep your cries quiet

"she wanted me to go back home."

trevor furrowed his eyebrows and traced patterns on your leg with his fingers, knowing you'd open up when you were ready.

you took a minute to calm your breathing, explaining everyhting.

that originally you wanted to spend the summer at home with your dad because you knew you'd be isolated here, that quinn had other friends and you couldn't steal him away from everyone for the whole offseason.

that you got put in your place before the drive down to michigan and told that ellen needed you there to help around the house and that you could just be helpful 'this one time'

that ellen hadn't made you touch a thing all summer, the only time you did a chore was when you made yourself and him a snack, so you knew your mom just wanted you here to be a servant

that when you met him, you were finally happy in michigan and you were actually looking forward to the summer and getting to know him, spending some more time with jack and luke now that you had someone in common

that today, the shopping trip was just a cover up, your mom spoiling you before telling you - not asking - that you were going back home to house sit until the offseason was over

that you were naive at first, that you thought your mom grew a heart and that she was giving you an out due to you wanting to stay back home weeks ago

that you quickly saw through that

that your mom told you that owen had been excited to meet the team usa guys, trevor especially, and that you were getting in the way of your brother having the offseason experience he wanted

that you were going to be miserable the whole summer, but now that you've found a happy place in michigan, you were told to go home and be miserable there instead

that she wanted you isolated all summer. that was her plan.

and after you let it all out to him, you just started sobbing, and you couldn't stop

trevor did his best to soothe you, mumbling sweet nothings and reassuring you that ellen wanted you at the lake house and that he knew she'd let you stay

"i don't know what i could've done to make her hate me so much," you croaked, balling his shirt up into your fists and pulling him closer

“you didn’t do anything, sunshine. there’s nothing in the world you could’ve done to deserve that, you were just a kid. n’ you’re an angel, you know? like heaven on earth, it’s not your fault,” he whispered, cradling the back of your head

you looked up into his eyes from your spot on his shoulder, eyes uncertain and still overflowing with tears

“i know you don’t believe me, it’s okay,” he slid his thumb back and forth along your hair, kissing you on the temple.

you adjusted your head to get closer to him, still keeping your eyes on his

sniffling slightly, you took his other hand and toyed with his fingers, gaze eventually falling there as your tears slowed and nose cleared up

“thank you, trev, that-“ he cut you off with a kiss, catching you a little off guard

still, you pulled away with a smile, holding his jaw with the hand you’d had gripping his shirt

“that’s really sweet.” you finished, fresh tears falling from your face

he moved to wipe them, brushing his thumb against your nose gently

“of course, my sunshine,”

you hugged him, using both arms to wrap around him and squeeze tight, him returning the favour

“i’m all yours for the rest of the day, hm? maybe we can sneak off on the boat? bring some snacks, blankets n’ your laptop for movies and make a day out of it,”

you nodded happily, becoming pliant in his arms with a dumb smile

“that sounds perfect, z,”

he went to kiss you again, but the door cracked open mid lean-in and you jumped apart like it was an affair

it was ellen, now grinning to herself at the sight in front of her

“i figured you’d be in here. can we talk?”

you blushed, nodding.

“yeah, auntie el, just-“

“i’ll go,” trevor cut you off, ruffling your hair and placing a kiss on your cheek

[youcouldmakealife]

Gérard/Sven/Yvette; up to snuff

As we approach the final two weeks publication, here's the last of the extras! For the prompt: I would love early relationship Sven/Yvette/Gerard, angst or fluff or first times or hurt/comfort.

(It's early relationship! But maybe not the OT3 one)

“I have a question for you,” Sven says.

“If it’s about that shirt, the answer is no,” Gérard says.

Sven looks down. “It’s a no?” he says.

“I feel like I’m looking at one of those books of optical illusions,” Gérard says.

“I liked those books,” Sven says.

Gérard did too. He doesn’t even mind the shirt, dizzying as it is, though Sven would get fined if the team saw it, and he clearly knows that, since this is the first time Gérard has seen it.

“It’s visual stimulation,” Sven insists. Gérard has to wonder, sometimes, where he comes from. Ottawa, by way of Sweden, but Gérard knows a lot of Ottawans, and a few Swedes too. They also find Sven inexplicable.

“Don’t you think Yvette gets enough of that in a classroom?” Gérard asks. He can’t think of anything more visually stimulating than an elementary school classroom. It’s almost like that’s the point.

“You have a point,” Sven says. “I’ll change.”

“No patterns!” Gérard says.

“You’re no fun!” Sven says.

Gérard’s fun. At least, he remembers being fun. Lately, perhaps, not so much. Perhaps he’d be more fun if Sven wasn’t constantly asking him for advice before his dates with Yvette.

He’s trying not to be weird about it. It’s hard, though, when Sven’s asking how to look sharp for a woman he only met because Gérard met her first. That is, when he isn’t asking where to take her, what to do, how to act, like he’s forgotten everything in the face of meeting her.

Gérard would think Sven had never dated before, but he was coming to the bitter end of a two year relationship when they met, and he’s dated a few women since, though nothing was serious enough for Gérard to meet them, let alone the rest of the team.

Yvette has met the team, of course. Day one, but Sven’s invited her to every event open to significant others since. She’s only come to one, to Sven’s disappointment — unsurprisingly, the schedule of a hockey player clashes with the schedule of a teacher — but if Gérard needed a sign that Sven was serious about her — he didn’t — that would have made it very obvious. The team’s important to him. More important than anything. Though perhaps not lately.

Sven was hesitant to ask him for advice at first, considering the situation, but Gérard told him it was fine, and he can’t be mad at Sven for taking him at his word. And it should be fine. He wants it to be fine. He’s sure it will be, eventually, and he’s waiting for that.

And who else could Sven ask for advice, really?

His parents? They’re somehow even weirder than Sven is — everything about him was explained the day Gérard met him. Or, nothing was explained, he’s still inexplicable, but at least he figured out where it came from.

Friends? Sven doesn’t have them, outside the team.

So then, the only alternative is their teammates. Yvette seems almost as smitten as Sven, which is saying something, since Gérard wouldn’t be surprised if he’s already surreptitiously measuring her ring finger whenever they hold hands. But even with that latitude, if Sven follows their boneheaded advice he’ll almost certainly end up single again. Every one of their teammates in a relationship got to that point despite everything about them. Gérard is saying that with affection — mostly — but even so.

“How’s this?” Sven asks, emerging from his bedroom, then striking a pose as Gérard surveys him.

“You look good,” Gérard say.

He does. The shirt’s a solid colour, thankfully. Sven was unable to resist pairing it with a patterned tie, but they work together. His hair’s sticking up a little, probably from the quick change, but it’s endearing. Gérard thinks Yvette would find it endearing too, but then, he doesn’t really know that, does he?

“You need to fix your hair, though,” he says, and Sven runs his fingers through it, messing it up worse until Gérard takes over, finger combing it into submission. His hair’s soft and thin, almost downy, like a child’s. Gérard tries not to linger.

“I’m nervous,” Sven admits. Gérard’s well aware of that, though there isn’t really anything to be nervous about at this point. It’s not like it’s a first date, or meeting the parents — if it wasn’t already clear they were serious, the fact she’s already met Sven’s and Sven’s already met hers, well, Gérard thinks that makes it very clear.

Sven’s parents adored her, and Gérard’s not surprised. Sven’s unsure how her parents felt about him, and Gérard’s not really surprised by that either. He bets they liked him, though. It’s hard not to be a little overwhelmed when the full force of his attention aimed at you, but it’s hard not to be bowled over by it either.

“You have nothing to be nervous about,” Gérard says.

“I know,” Sven says, cracking a small, nervous smile.

How could Yvette be anything but endeared? Gérard never had a chance, but she didn’t have one either.

“Thank you,” Sven says. “For, you know.”

“Saving Yvette’s eyesight?” Gérard asks.

“Yes,” Sven says. “Thank you for that.”

“Any time,” Gérard says, and wishes he was strong enough not to mean it.

[faerievampling]

Killing Time

Chapter 5: Pink

Word Count: 5.2k

Pairing: Soft Ascended!Astarion x female Tav/Reader

Link to AO3!

Chapter 1. Chapter 2. Chapter 3. Chapter 4. Chapter 6.

Masterlist

Warnings: 18+. Explicit. PiV. Anal Sex. Oral Sex. Cunnilingus. Blowjob. Handjob. Creampie. Body worship. Overstimulation. Possessive behavior. Soft Ascended Astarion.

A/N: Lots of smut in this chapter and A!Astarion being horny and soft for his vampire wife. Next chapter will be lots of fun. Hope you guys enjoy <3 im either sorry for the word count bc it got out of hand orrrr you love a healthy word count and you're welcome :)

Pic by: @cheekylittlepupp<3

When Kith’rak Elan assigned Astarion’s group to a new training room, you were almost certain Astarion wouldn’t allow it: but he hadn’t fought the decision, thank the gods, because he was starting to embarrass you, and you don’t think you could have handled another blunder.

You hadn’t realized how annoying a doting husband could be until you arrived at the Crystalline Spire. You were used to spending a lot of time with Astarion and being adored by him, but it had been long since anyone treated you the way the gith did; it had brought out a different side of your vampire, seeing his darling with so much responsibility again.

Astarion, his anxieties steadily increasing, had become insistent on having some part of his body touching you whenever possible: this wasn’t unusual for the two of you, but he had gotten rather forceful about it. 

Back home, you and Astarion subjugated all that surrounded you; Astarion handled most things, leaving you with little interaction with the ‘outside world’. Your world was your life and marriage with Astarion, and you had been happy with that arrangement for many centuries.

In turn, Astarion had relatively little experience handling his own emotions when it came to seeing you outside the safety of your home. You could sense his discomfort when you weren’t in his line of view; his anxieties would only grow into frustration from there: if you were so far Astarion couldn’t detect your scent, you were to expect his constant presence in your mind, especially after what happened on the hunt. 

There was one day Astarion had interrupted your training session because he wanted to be with you. Chae and several of the others giggled when you had obeyed, earning them a wretched glare from Astarion. 

“Who were they laughing at?” Astarion asked as you sat in his lap, your back pressed to his muscular form;  he smoothed your hair with his free hand as his other arm was wrapped around you, wrist in your mouth as you fed on his delicious essence. He had to ask you twice to get you to answer. 

“Me, mostly. Chae and Quinel laugh because they think I’m a pleasure slave to you. Marg’o giggles only because she finds you dashing.Many of them don’t realize I can read their thoughts and hear their whispers.” 

Astarion had only hummed in reply before flawlessly maneuvering your weight in his hands, putting his sweet little consort whenever he needed her to be. 

****

It takes Astarion far longer than you’d anticipated to explain the death of the spawn to you. After he told you not to fret over it, you decided to listen, leaving it in the back of your busy mind for another day. 

But when Astarion finally tells you the dead spawn is Marwa, you understand what has happened. 

“You’ve been spying back on Moth.” Your tone is accusatory, but you knew there was no other reason why Marwa could have been killed in such a way: she must have been caught, and was left out in the sun to burn.

You had already decided not to chide Astarion about refusing to grant the other spawn his gifts. You already knew that was a generally ‘off-limits’ topic for the Ancuníns. 

You and Astarion sit cross legged on your bed facing each other, knee to knee. Ever since Astarion had somehow managed to have the gith find the two of you your own room, separate from your underlings, it had allowed for more open and intimate contact. 

It had been good for you, because there wasn’t anything you wanted more than to be in Astarion’s arms after a long day. But it had been…not so good for Astarion, who was beginning to only crave you more, his resentment for this entire journey only increasing as the days went on. Especially when his sending stone never stopped pinging; at some point, Astarion would have to tuck it away, ignoring the messages of the empire and likely whatever communication the spawn would have with him telepathically. 

You knew there was far more at play than you realized. You had just never really cared before; not for a very long time, anyways. 

Astarion massages your fingers and palms. Although your vampiric regeneration would ensure no lasting injuries, it didn’t exclude you from feeling stiff: you were undead, after all, and being stiff just came with the territory.

But your use of so many unpracticed muscles in such a short amount of time had you aching in ways you had forgotten. 

“You need to stretch more,” Astarion says as he stews over the Marwa discussion. He began to inspect your nails, his fingers gently tugging on your joints. “It’s a shame that you prefer to use your gorgeous hands in battle. It makes you smell more gith than I’d like.”

You roll your eyes. “Everywhere smells like gith. We're at a crèche, darling.”

Astarion narrows his eyes at you, suddenly looking focused. “What else am I to do? How else am I to gather information?” You were back to Marwa. “Maybe you don’t realize, my darling, that Marwa has been a spy for me for half a millenia. I’ve sent her on countless missions. She’s been to Moth’s estate many times.”

“And now she’s dead.” A part of you thinks about Marwa, and you realize you didn’t know anything about her beyond what her capabilities and usefulness to Astarion was. Hmm.

Astarion laughs. “You’re not wrong, but by the gods are you adorable when you worry about our little family.”

Astarion brings his head towards your palm, planting a kiss in its center before moving his way up your wrist, motioning you underneath him as his pretty lips trail their way to your neck, leaving you feeling tingly at the sensation.

You pull away, narrowing your eyes at him. “You don’t take me seriously, do you?”

“Come now, pet, why do you say that? Do you really mean to criticize how I choose to protect our family? To protect what’s mine?” Astarion playfully plants kisses on your cheek—you feel the flutter of his lashes on your temple, making you shiver from the closeness. 

“No, I just…I don’t want the situation to become worse. What if he finds us here?” Your eyes are wide as he moves to meet your gaze. Astarion is scowling.

“Why are you even thinking about these things, Tav? Do you not trust me to protect you?” But Astarion stops there, because he recognizes your apprehension: a feeling similar to the unease you felt before Lae’zel’s arrival. 

That unease that was connected to your psychic foresight, the one you were born with that seemingly amplified once you turned into a vampire—the very one that Astarion was now silently cursing for its uselessness. 

“A spawn has never died before.” You emphasize this, that in the two millennia of your vampiric lives, firsts don’t often occur. 

“Yes, and?” Astarion’s thinking he’s already handled everything and doesn’t understand your upset.

“I’m a spawn. If Moth can kill Marwa—“

Astarion places two fingers atop the plump of your lip, preventing you from speaking further. He’s shushing you, but you grab his wrist and pull his hand away, your eyes burning with frustration as you bring yourself back up to a seat, Astarion allowing you to maneuver freely. 

“Don’t hush me like that, I-I don’t like that.” You think about how the other day, Joss kept interrupting you during your tracking lesson. It annoyed you to no end, and it particularly penetrated your cool exterior when Astarion did it. 

Astarion blinks at you, surprised that you corrected his behavior. You often told him what you wanted, but that was about material things, like servants and dresses and invitations (once, long ago, you had to tell Astarion to stop inviting Lord Renald to your parties. That man stank to the high heavens despite all the gaudy perfume he wore.) but not often (if ever) about intimate things, such as how Astarion touched you.

Astarion was the one who decided that: by whom and how you were touched. There wasn’t any part of your body unexplored or off-limits to him. 

Astarion’s eyes are dark as he rests his hand on your chest, index finger gently caressing your collarbone. “And I didn’t like the way you were speaking.”

“I am your spawn, though. You call me that often enough, you remind me often.” 

Astarion brings his hand to cup your jaw, urging you to meet his gaze. “We’ve discussed this before, do we really need to go over it again? You’re my consort. My wife. You are the only one who has supped my blood.”

“But you were created for me,” Astarion directs at you as his lips find yours once again, his tongue seemingly desperate to be inside your mouth. You think maybe he just wants you to stop talking, but his hardened cock does make you realize his intentions aren’t all that calculated.

But Astarion, no stranger to understanding the value in communicating with his consort, reluctantly brings his lips away from the only object he truly desires. “You are mine, Tav. It doesn’t matter what you are, only that I’ve given everything I possibly could to you, since the very moment we became beholden to one another back at Moonrise Towers.”

This was entirely true, and it softens you a bit. Astarion, seeing the way your eyes open and your mouth parts, those cute little fangs he gave you peeking out from the plush pads of your pretty lips; he can no longer help himself, and decides he needs to be inside of you, because it had been far too long for the living vampire to have been without his wife in his arms.

Astarion’s lips find purchase on yours once more: they are sloppy, uncontrolled, his desire for you running to his very core. It was like it was in his very nature to love you.

“You’re far stronger than the spawn are. And you're always under my especially watchful eye, as you know. How lucky you are, I made you my bride.” Astarion is nearly lost in the bliss of your body as he pushes you on your back, bringing the hem of your nightgown up to accommodate himself between your legs.

You’re cursing yourself for being panty-less, because the moment Astarion has access to your holes, he’s searching, his fingers desperate to be inside your body.

“Then why do you call me that?” Your voice comes between your fervent, fractured kisses, which halts to a pause once you’ve asked your question. It doesn’t stop Astarion from sinking a finger between your folds, his eyes watching you as you take him. 

Astarion lifts your dress above your breasts, a sight he particularly loved. He removes his finger to drink in the sight of you.

There was something about seeing his darling girl, eyes wide and cheeks flushed from his blood, with something so innocent as a modest nightgown pushed away without a care in the world, exposing you to him as if he was in a hurry. As if he was taking you like a thief in the night, desperate not to be caught. 

Like you were a sweet little secret of his. 

Astarion tugs at your hardening nipple, but you ease yourself up on your elbows, eyebrows knitted together in a frustrated, reluctant pleasure. 

“I’m trying to say something serious, Astarion…” You say as he moves himself to your dripping cunt, his head resting on your thigh as he gently tugs the folds of your labia, spreading them, exposing your swollen clit and tight entrance; only breaking eye contact to take in the sight of your open sex. 

“And we’ll work it out, my love,” Astarion mewls, his racing heartbeat and dilated pupils making it apparent that this was a man, who, although his enthusiastic passion for fucking his wife was admirable, had no real intention of addressing the problem anymore.

Lost in the sauce. An odd phrase you had heard from Zii’ro and Joss. This must be an iteration of the meaning of that phrase. 

He begins to crawl up to you, but you place your foot on his chest, pushing him away as your enchanted anklets clank together, creating a little chime at your movement. This stopped him in his tracks, but he only looks even more turned on from your denial.

You realize the little foot move might’ve been a mistake. This man would likely find a way to fuck it: if it was attached to you, he’d find a way.

Astarion swiftly frees his cock with one hand, the other gripping your ankle as he brings your foot down to his shaft, rubbing his length on your arch.

“You are such a freak,” you say, shaking your head, having nearly forgotten your plight as you try pulling your ankle away from him. “This is hardly ‘working it out’.”

“What is it that you want, then?” Astarion says as he grabs your other ankle, dragging your hips to him before pressing his body between your legs, both hands tangling in your hair as his hard cock rests on your lower belly, balls on your soaked center. “You know you need only ask, my sweet consort.”

You felt the wet lips of your cunt nearly suckling on his skin, the friction of its increasing slickness due to the mess you were making on him sending a shiver throughout your body. 

His ruby eyes glittered with lust, his curls falling down the sides of his face; his breath on you smelled so good, evident of the life inside of him, making your stomach growl at the mere thought of his crimson essence. 

Fuck and feed, you think. Focus, you animal!

Lae’zel had told you to be direct with your warriors. To tell them of the expectations and goals. Why couldn’t this extend to your relationship?

“I don’t want you to call me spawn anymore,” You say as you do your best to keep your voice from wavering under his intense glare.

“You’ve a lot of interesting demands today, don’t you, my love?” Astarion speaks evenly, considering your words. “You act as though I say that anywhere but in private. As I’ve said, you aren’t just some spawn. But you are a spawn of mine: my offspring. It’s one of the countless things I adore about you. It’s what makes you so perfect to me, so perfect for me.” 

You take an involuntary breath, gasping as he comes to plant his lips on yours, nipping at your skin just enough to draw blood, to taste your essence before he languidly plunges his tongue in your mouth.

You moan into him, his words inspiring something deep within you, but you still aren’t satisfied. 

“Besides, you know why. It gets my cock hard to hear you call me ‘Master’, and you don’t seem to mind it,” He teases, his tone still playful, but his words rooted in a painful truth. “Especially when you want something. So why should I not be able to call you ‘spawn’ in turn?”

You were guilty of using the term to butter him up, that much was true. “I just don’t like it. Do I need a reason other than It hurts my feelings? That should be enough for you.” 

Astarion sighs. “You know I will give you what you desire. But why now? What’s changed?”

“I’ve never liked it, as you very well know.” You darken with these words, and it reflects in Astarion, who is feeling a pang of guilt that he doesn’t hide. “Lae’zel taunts me with it, countless of the gith categorize me as such, as if it’s a weakened state, that I’m a pitiful thing for being your spawn. And now, with Marwa dead…” Tears threaten your eyes, but you and Astarion don’t break eye contact: the two of you're locked into a state so deep, you couldn’t pull away if you tried. But you’re choked up now, and you can’t really speak.

Being able to telepathically communicate with your lover at any given time was a blessing. “I feel weak, Astarion. I know I can trust you to protect me. I just wish I commanded the same respect I once did: the same respect you have.”

Astarion props himself up, curls falling out of place as he gazes down at you, handsome as ever. His ruby eyes are wide, open and receptive, but disturbed by what you’d told him.

“If that’s truly how you feel, my love, then we can surely command their respect by slaughtering every last one of them and ending this silly war ourselves. We’d be doing Vlaakith a favor.” Astarion’s nose crinkles and twists in anger. “They surely wouldn’t be disrespecting my wife with their last breaths. Maybe contemplating your neverending beauty. But honestly, that might not be palatable to me either.” 

“No—that’s certainly not what I meant!” You exclaim, your hand flying to Astarion’s chest, pausing over the strong beat of his heart.

“I know, Tav,” Astarion says, his tone playful and knowing as his hand wraps around his cock, bringing it back from its half-hardened state. “I’ll give you what you want.”

Astarion rolls onto his back, signaling you between his legs, where you begin to kiss his taut abdomen, worshiping his sculpted form with your lips and tongue. “But only if you make love to me with your mouth, my darling girl.”

****

“The celebration begins tomorrow, Ancunín,” Kith’rak Elan chides at your beloved. “Where is your wife this morning, I wonder?”

You chose not to squeak at him, despite Astarion daring you.

”Safely nestled inside my pocket, Kith’rak. Laundry day; you know how it is.” You imagine the smirk Astarion must have on his face as he pets the top of your head with the tip of his finger. You were nestled against his chest inside his pocket, not wanting to be disturbed today.

You had become mentally exhausted over the course of the two tenday you had been at the crèche; between the rigorous training, the meetings, all the interaction—it had burnt you out.

Dealing with your battalion had been a chore—no, a nightmare. There was one night where you and Astarion held each other while you scanned his memories of the gith you had met two thousand years ago. You both agreed that the gith raised under Orpehus’s banner were only slightly more tolerant of outsiders than Vlaakith’s gith, and seemingly more ignorant.

Zii’ro’s questions had been incessant, and the others had started to join in. You enjoyed answering them and telling them stories, but after a while, it was difficult for you to handle this.

You could always hear their heartbeats, and mortals have a tendency to get rather close to you when they speak, so their scent also becomes known to you. But you swallowed your darker thoughts away, focusing on the sound of their voice and their facial animations. Astarion had taught you to do this, to help you fit in, to make you look a little less feral: he had learned it so long ago, so much earlier on in his life than you, that he had long been a natural. 

Watching them was the best way to learn and (one of) the best way(s) to distract yourself. The more time you spent with your warriors, the more they accepted you, even for your strange quirks: the things you couldn’t quite imitate. 

“Is it hard for you to keep up with the facade of life, Tav?” Quinel had asked you one day after a long day of training; Lae’zel and Elan had helped your warriors adapt to your fighting style, and it had greatly improved how you interacted with each other in sparring. You hoped it would translate well to the battlefield.

Quinel certainly had a way with words. Not an elegant one, that’s for sure.

”You see me struggle, do you not?” You ask, a bit annoyed at the question. It was obviously difficult for you, and you didn’t understand exactly what they were asking.

”I suppose. But I want to know more about it.” Quinel had hardly spoken, so you wanted to encourage this communication, but damn were they direct.

You didn’t think there was much to tell. “If you are more comfortable around me, then I am more comfortable around you.” The less your heart races, the less I want to eat you. 

“I am relieved your blinking has improved,” Chae mused as she sharpened one of her many daggers.

”Good. That’s the point.” You had given her a curt nod, signaling that the conversation was over: but that hadn’t prevented Zii’ro and Joss from asking more questions not even ten minutes later.  

To no-one’s surprise, Astarion treated his group much like he treated his spawn: detached, firm, direct. They seemed to accept him well enough, and they certainly respected him. The Kith’rak was pleased with you and Astarion’s performance, despite your little hiccup during the hunt.

The Kith’rak merely hums at Astarion’s reply before continuing with whatever he would go on about. Pressing up against Astarion’s warmth, the thump of his beating heart fills your sensitive ears. You fight the urge to tear through the fabric of his clothing and plunge your little fangs in his soft skin.

****

The night before the banquet, Astarion buries his cock in you just because he felt he needed to be there. He was moving only every once in a while, your juices accumulating from the sensation, until you were ravenous and dripping around his wide cock.

You lie on top of him, straddling him, chest flush against his. He’s holding you so desperately close, you were lucky you didn’t need to breathe. 

He rubs his cheek on you, leaving kisses in their wake wherever his lips could place them, hands keeping your squirming body in place to prevent your hips from rocking into him. 

You were so desperate to come, you felt the lower rumble in your belly as your orgasm grew to a precipice, only for it to retreat from lack of stimulation. You groan in frustration, causing Astarion to chuckle before he captures your lips. 

His tongue is soft, hot, his touches gentle with you on this night; the two of you had been pulled away from each other more and more, assigned to various duties, seminars, and training exercises: the gith were busy people. 

“It’s so good to be with you again,” Astarion expertly titillated your mind with your link, causing you to clench around him. “Spending all day with these gith is becoming increasingly insufferable. After this is all over, we’ll be spending another decade in the boudoir, I think.”

Something depraved inside of you wants this: to be kept as his little toy for a while, having no responsibilities, no pain or stress, just pure enjoyment of your choosing (reading, writing, drinking blood: all of your favorite things, of course) and the most delicious orgasms you could imagine given to you by the most beautiful man in all the realms.

To go back to the way things were, really.

But you were starting to like this taste of freedom: it made these intimate moments with your husband even sweeter, even more precious, but you weren’t sure Astarion agreed.

Astarion’s hand reaches for your ass, squeezing as his other hand finds the root of your hair, bringing you into an unbreakable kiss. 

“Please,” You moan, unable to return Astarion’s casuality. “I want to come, my love, please…”

He’s been selfish with you: your time, your body. 

“Focus, I’m trying to be serious, here.” He’s mocking you a bit, merely in jest, and you think it would hamper your desperation, but you only clench around his cock as you bring your hand to his jaw, your grip firm as you bear down on him. Testing your limits, you push yourself away from him, bringing yourself up right.

Hand still gripping Astarion’s chin, you give him the most salacious, most abhorrently whorish look you can muster as you move to rock into him, and to your surprise, he lets you. He’s practically drooling at the sight of you: full lips parted, his ruby eyes bright but lowered with passion, silver curls slicked back behind his pointed ears.

You don’t last long before you’re contracting and creaming around Astarion’s cock, your muscles squeezing his member with fervency. You and Astarion had had every type of sex, all sorts of ways: eternity sure gives you time to explore and expand your sexual interests.

But rarely did you take control and find your own pleasure in him, and gods did he think you looked perfect writhing atop him, cunt clenching as you whimpered his name. 

“So beautiful. I adore you. I fucking adore you Tav. Forever.” There is an intensity in his eyes, and he feels the words in his chest as he communicates them to you. It makes your heart flutter and bloom within you, and your soon cunt follows suit, convulsing around his wide cock. 

“I love you too,” You mewl as you’re nearing the end of your climax, his eyes softening at the words he so desperately wants to hear. 

You stop fucking him after a while, exhausted from your intense orgasm. Astarion picks up where you left off, in your poor little cummed-out state, grabbing you by the hips before continuing to rut into you. 

You’ve collapsed on his chest at this point, but Astarion doesn’t stop. He cradles you into him, encouraging you to bring your knees up as far as they’d go, resting at either side of his torso. The tip of his cock is pushing at your depths, making you tremble in your beloved’s arms.

“Oh—my love,” Astarion whispers into your ear: you hardly register it, your brain fuzzy from both your recovering and impending orgasm.

When Astarion finally comes inside you, the warmth of his seed filling your tight hole to the brim nearly makes you crave more, but you don’t think you could if you tried.

But your husband still seemed to have some energy left in him. He lays you on your back, his hands going underneath your knees to pull your thighs up and apart, so he could see his spend inside your fucked out hole.

Astarion’s lips parted at the sight of his thick, creamy come spilling out of you as the smell of musk, sex, and sweat lingered the room. 

To you, Astarion’s natural body odor was the most exquisite perfume, other than his crimson bouquet, of course. 

“You aren’t going to let me fuck it again, are you?” Astarion asked, eyebrow raised, the corner of his lips tilted in a hint of a smile. 

You shake your head, still recovering from the thorough fucking he’d given you.  Your eyes widened at the thought that Astarion wasn’t done with you.

“And lucky for me, my beautiful darling has two other serviceable holes for me,” Astarion says as he presses a finger to your ringed entrance, your cunt contracting at the pressure. 

“Oh you are so cute,” He dotes at your reaction to his prodding, preparing you for his cock; it isn’t long before he’s filled you once more.

Astarion cleans the both of you up before turning his back to you, grabbing your arm to pull around himself. He wants you to hold him tonight. You rest your forehead on his back, placing gentle kisses on his flesh as you wrap your body around him, one leg between his as he interlocks his fingers with your own. 

You breathe in his scent, that musky, earthy smell of sex and sweat filling your nose. You lick your lips, tasting his salty fluids on your tongue. The warmth of his skin was like a sanctuary to you, and you squeezed him, holding him to you preciously.

You still had an inkling of fear tucked away; you pushed it further back to the recesses of your mind as you began drifting off into a dreamless, peaceful slumber. The sound of Astarion’s beating heart thrums in your ears like the soothing sound of the ocean, or rain on pavement, and it carries you off into the twilight dark. 

Astarion wakes the both of you up early to prepare for the banquet: the Ancunín’s were to always look their best, and who better than to help you look gorgeous if not for your beloved? And your lady servant, of course.

“I think the pink is too gaudy.” Astarion says with a finger and thumb rest on his chin: he was deeply focused, on what you couldn't be sure, but it certainly wasn’t the color of the dress. He remained fairly present, so you left him to his thoughts. “Washes you out too much, dear. It’s offensive that a color is able to do that to you, my beautiful darling, but alas.”

You survey yourself in the mirror once more: you think Astarion is right, and it makes you wonder why you ever bought the dress at all.

“A themed party, love. You remember Lady Danet? Fear not, her ‘pink’ parties can’t hurt you anymore,” Astarion is smirking, thinking how funny he is. He’s remembering you, dressed in all pink, a little frown on your face as you adjust to the tight corset Lady Danet required her female guests to wear. You simply didn’t think you looked good in pink, and to no surprise, you and every other woman in the world hated wearing a fucking corset. Except for Lady Danet, you think, the odd woman that she was. That had been some fifty years ago, and Lady Danet was long in the grave, now.

“Cynthia?” She was a servant, but you chose her for her gentle personality, obedience and competence, and her eye and honesty for styling you. She was almost as good as Bethild. 

“I agree with our Lord. I think a red or a green would suit you better, my lady.” Cynthia says, pondering for a moment. “Pink is very in, which is why I chose it milady, but I hadn’t really thought about what would be fashionable for gith.”

It was still lost on you why the pink dress was even thrown into the fray: but no matter. After trying on several others, you realize Astarion is a million miles away, no longer focused on you at all. 

The look on his face gradually became dire. Just as you felt like you had found ‘the one’ (a beautiful emerald silken gown that showed off your shoulders and cinched at the waist) Astarion looked at you, his eyes wide and his brows furrowed. 

You realize he’s leaving the crèche before he says a word. His eyes suddenly become misty, glassy, but he doesn’t hide it from you. Cynthia immediately feels the shift in mood and swiftly makes her exit.

Astarion’s sending stone is pinging off in the distance. The two of you stay like this, words hanging between you, listening to the sending stone ping over and over and over…

Masterlist

Chapter 1. Chapter 2. Chapter 3. Chapter 4. Chapter 6.

[honeymoonblues]

Little White Lies

George Weasley x GN!Reader

Summary: George asks you to help him study for potions, but you suspect that he doesn't really need it. (Gender neutral reader).

Word count: 1.3k

A/N: Some fluff with my favourite Weasley twin. I wrote the reader hinting that they are not in gryffindor, but it's not specified anywhere. Let me know if there are any spelling errors, English is not my first language.

It took you 15 minutes into the first study session to realize that George Weasley didn’t need help with potions in the slightest.

However, you said nothing.

‘Why is he doing this?’ and other million doubts roamed your mind. There was no way he actually needed tutoring, why on earth would he waste his free time asking stupid questions?

No, they weren’t stupid, not at all. That’s what gave him away. Someone who didn’t get the subject would ask simpler questions, or wouldn’t have enough information to even ask! He’d sit there and claim not to understand, then utter the most brilliant question ever. The kind that gets resolved with one simple answer, or that can only be formulated when one actually comprehends.

Even after this sharp demonstration of knowledge, George would look directly into your eyes and lie!

“I don’t think I got it, think you could explain that again?” All with a bashful expression and a sheepish grin.

If anyone asked, you would completely deny it, but he got you giggling almost the whole time you were together. He’d put on an exaggerated grimace every time you would go over any formula, and made a fantastic imitation of Snape that got both of you scolded by Madame Pince for laughing too loud, and disturbing the peace of the library.

There were also your blushing cheeks, which you hoped he didn’t notice, whenever he’d get too close to you. You were so transparently awkward, but you couldn’t help it! Not with those eyes looking attentively, with him seemingly hanging to your every word, and it didn’t help the fact that he spoke so softly, so smoothly.

“Why! Why is he doing this? It doesn’t make any sense! Do you think he’s planning to prank me or something?” Your friends were getting tired of hearing you complain, because nothing they said would get through that stubborn mind of yours.

“What if he just likes you?” They’d offer, and you would scoff.

“I surely hope not!” Lies, big, tremendous lies. “Maybe I am overthinking this, maybe he does need help with potions, right?”

Then, your friends would just roll their eyes and let you be. It had been almost a week since your study session and you just wouldn’t shut up. Mostly because it was almost time for your second library meeting.

When you caught yourself in the mirror, completely engrossed in styling your hair perfectly, you almost gasped. Could it be possible that, just maybe, you had a tiny, minuscule crush on George Weasley?

While still making sure your hair and outfit looked good, you groaned, suddenly remembering that this was not the first time you fancied him.

Back in first year, getting used to Hogwarts was a terrible challenge for every new kid, but especially for muggleborns like you. The moving stairs were particularly tough. Thankfully, you crossed paths with another kid who was happy to help you. While his twin laughed cheerfully, George was quick to come for your aid and stop you from missing our hallway by the constant moving staircase. You had transfiguration together the whole year, and that’s how long it took you to learn to differentiate the twins physically.

If they were talking with you, you could definitely tell them apart, because Fred didn’t beam at you like George did. Still, you had many classes together until you discovered the little mole on his neck, and the slightly crooked nose on his brother that distinguished them.

That’s when your little crush began to flourish. Suddenly the twins were incredibly different from each other, and no other boy compared to George, not even his own identical brother. But you were eleven at the time, by the beginning of second year you didn’t see each other as much anymore. Inevitably, your tiny infatuation became nothing more than that and stayed in the past. Or so you thought.

You looked at your blushing face one more time in the mirror before you left your room, and directed yourself to the library. Walking purposely slow, little hopeful thoughts formed in your head. And you giggled at the thought that maybe he did fancy you. But you stopped in your tracks, then shook your head, telling yourself that you were getting way too unrealistic for your own good.

There still was a certain awkwardness in the way you spoke and explained things to him, but you were a little more comfortable than the last time. He grinned whenever you chuckled, and you’d joke more freely, which seemed to distract him a little.

While preparing to leave the library, having studied much less than the first session, he observed you quietly for a moment. When you raised your eyebrows at him, George finally spoke.

“Do you remember first year? We used to be together all the time.” He grinned, his cheeks taking a little pink colour which you didn’t notice because of the rising heat of your own face.

Before you could answer him, he spoke again.

“You were incredibly bright even back then, and I was…” Chuckling a little, you interrupted him.

“And you were top of the class on charms, remember? Before you enchanted all of Flitwick’s books to fly out of the window.” While trying to muffle your giggles behind your hands, George complained.

“In my defence, that was Fred’s idea!” But he couldn’t contain his laughter either, and he had the biggest grin on his face. “I had the biggest crush on you too.”

Everything went quiet after his words, and you looked at him with your eyes wide open. After an awkward minute of silence, you mumbled.

“Shit, me too.” And you both broke into a fit of giggles again, earning a loud “Shh!” from Madame Pince. Continuing your conversation in hushed tones, he muttered:

“Wait, no way. And you never said anything!”

“It’s not like you said something either, Weasley!”

“I was just a stupid little kid, what did you expect?”

“George, we are the same age!”

“Yeah, yeah. But you are the clever one here, darling.”

Without even stopping to think about what you were going to say, you opened your mouth and pointed at him accusatorily.

“You don’t even need tutoring in potions! You could teach me, in fact!”

Your hand flew to cover your mouth as soon as you were done talking, your cheeks starting to burn, and your gaze averting George’s eyes trying not to expose yourself any more than you had already.

After a prolonged uncomfortable silence, you spoke.

“Or that’s what it seemed… I never actually got to see you in a potions class, but you learn really fast, and also you make the brightest questions. Not to say that it’s bad to ask for help with studying, that’s not what I mean, of course! But since you are so good with inventing products and also, you have to know a lot of potions for the pranks you pull, too… It’s just…” Without any breath left from your quick rambling, you looked up to him for the first time in a while, to see him with a genuine bashful expression.

Slowly, a charming little smile appeared on his face, and he looked deep into your eyes. He caught you. It was clear in your gaze, in your voice, in the way you twitched your hands nervously. It was now or never, he thought.

“I heard you were helping a girl with potions, and I thought what better excuse to spend some time with my sweet crush, don’t you think?”

It took you a moment to process what he had said, then you let out a little humming sound, like in a trance. Shifting your eyes from the table, to the mole on his neck.

“I also wanted to check if you were as good with potions as everybody said, or if you were just bluffing.”

Finally reacting, you feigned offense and hit his arm.

“Get out of here, George Weasley.”

And he beamed, just like he did back in first year.

[pinklybleu]

Memories

Summary: With Pietro gone and no place to call home, Wanda is now living with the Avengers. If only Natasha would look at her.

Words: 1391 words

A/N: Thanks to @badingsm for helping me, because this probably wouldn't have any title at all which means I probably would just leave it again in my drafts. :)

It has been more than a month since the event of Sokovia and Natasha still wouldn’t look her in the eyes, she won’t even acknowledge her existence at all. Wanda couldn’t even blame the older woman for any of this, it was her fault after all.

The other Avengers would try to talk to Natasha about her behavior when in the vicinity of the witch, which the spy will only respond with a sharp glare that always shuts them up and then walk away.

“Why can’t she just forgive you?” Wanda looked up from her breakfast to Steve who was cooking at the stove then to the remaining Avengers, bar Natasha, sitting on the dining table with her who nodded in response to the blonde.

Wanda frowned, she was about to speak up but stopped when she noticed the redhead entering the kitchen and sitting down at the table to eat, and just went back to her food.

The Avengers have been relatively nice to her even after what she did to them, they even took her in after Pietro died and she has nowhere else to go home to.

The men badgering the spy was slowly getting into the brunette’s nerves. It was something Wanda noticed about them, they tend to push their opinions towards others and contradicting thoughts often leads to a shouting match (mostly Tony and Steve) but not Natasha, she either calmly explain her side or just plainly went silent. On this case she tends to do the latter. Staying silent whenever the others would ask why she wouldn’t give the witch the time of day or even try to talk to her, not even a single word.

“Are you going to continue like this, Nat?”

Steve’s voice broke her out of her thoughts. She looked back up to the others and noticed that once again Natasha was glaring at Steve, silently urging the blonde to go on.

“At the very least acknowledge her when she’s sitting at the table you are in.” Natasha frowned after a few seconds before standing up and walking away without a word.

Wanda would be lying if she said she wasn’t disappointed or even a little hurt. With her being new to America, and technically still not a citizen, she doesn’t know anyone else besides the Avengers and Natasha is the only other woman she knows. She would also be lying if she said she doesn’t see the older woman as a figure head, despite the spy being only five years older than her, especially after what she saw in the redhead’s mind.

“Please stop forcing her.” Her voice was soft and almost silent that they wouldn’t even hear it if they weren’t sitting a few feet from each other.

“I messed with her mind. It’s my fault.”

“Just as you did us, I don’t see how it’s any different.” Tony shrugged with a mouthful of food while pointing a fork in her direction.

“Yeah, but you helped us in the fight. We managed to get over that.” Steve commented pointing at himself and the others.

“You don’t understand.” She shakes her head. “What I did to her is not the same as what I did to any of you. I showed all of you what you fear, I couldn’t find anything within the depths of her mind.” Clint dropped his fork at his plate, making a crisp sound resounding in the silence of the kitchen.

“You… Tell me you didn’t.” he was looking at her as if pleading. She looked down at her plate, her hands holding onto the utensils tightly, as she felt tears welling up in her eyes.

“I… No matter how much I tried I couldn’t find her fears, so I showed her the worst memories she had.” Everyone but Clint was looking at her, confused. Clint felt himself in the brink of tears. He, being the first person that Natasha trusted after the Red Room, was told by her, trusted even, of what she experienced in that place. The very first time she told him; she was very detached to it as if she was merely talking about the weather. It took him months of convincing along with therapy (required, specifically asked by Fury) for her to understand that what happened to her is extremely traumatizing and not at all normal. Now, after knowing that what little progress he had on the redhead, whom he sees as a little sister, could’ve been obliterated made him a little mad at the witch. He immediately took a deep breath to calm himself down, he couldn’t blame her, she was manipulated by HYDRA and then Ultron.

“That’s why I understand why she would blame me, and I’m really sorry about what I did so please don’t push her anymore. She also deserves her space.” She left the kitchen, suddenly not feeling hungry anymore leaving the remaining Avengers to contemplate her words.

Maybe some air would do her good.

Wanda walked to the elevator with the rooftop as her destination.

The moment she took a step in the rooftop after the elevator door opened, she stopped. She saw Natasha sitting in the stone bench with her back to her, the wind gently blowing on her curls. The witch was about to go back to the elevator when she heard a voice.

“I know you’re there.”

Wanda stood frozen. This is the first time that the older woman has directly acknowledged her.

“Don’t just stand there.”

She walked slowly towards the redhead as though if she went any faster, she would receive the wrath of the other woman.

“You know I’m not mad at you, right?” this stopped the brunette in her tracks, slow as they may be. If she wasn’t mad at her, why does the redhead kept ignoring her?

Natasha tilted her head while patting on the space beside her, indicating the witch to sit beside her on the bench.

Wanda sat down while looking at Natasha who was still staring ahead, gazing at the view.

“I’m sorry.” Wanda blurted out; she couldn’t take the silence anymore. Natasha turned to look at her, brows furrowed slightly.

“I messed with your mind, so I understand why you wouldn’t want to interact with me but I want you to know that I am sorry and that you don’t have to forgive me.”

“Oh, honey. Is that what you think?” Natasha was looking at her softly, her voice sounding so gentle despite its raspy tone.

“I never blamed you for anything. The reason why I couldn’t look at you is because you remind me of someone.” She smiled as if remembering a beautiful memory.

“She’s my sister, both of you are the same age you know. No one knows about her other than Clint. She was only six the last time I saw her. I can’t look at you because I remember how much of a failure I am at being a sister. I remember how I failed to save her from the hell that I was raised in.” Natasha frowned.

“They took her from me. Ripped her out of my grasp before shoving her into a different cargo container. That was the last time I saw her. I should’ve fought more, maybe I could’ve taken her with me.”

“Or you could’ve gotten yourself killed.” Wanda said softly.

“Probably, but at least I tried.” The redhead tried to smile but ended more with a grimace.

Natasha sighed.

“Don’t blame yourself, alright? I never once blamed you for anything.” The older woman looked at her with sincerity in her eyes. She doesn’t know why but she felt her eyes stinging with tears as she felt the weight on her shoulders, she didn’t know she had, disappear.

“Come here.” Natasha smiled, opening her arms. Wanda leaned towards her, wrapping her arms around the older woman while sobbing.

“Shh. It’s okay, darling. You’re okay now.” Natasha pressed a kiss in her hair.