#I miss not being misgendered constantly

[vergeofinsanity]

idk why but being misgendered has been fucking me up lately

[genderqueerpositivity]

TW: mention of medications and periods

In non-politics related nonsense and news, I'm starting finasteride today!

Looking back at pre-T pictures earlier this year, I started realizing that my hairline has crept way north of where it used to be originally. Which, I don't really mind as much, actually I liked the change in shape of my hairline at first. The thing that really bothers me is the hair thinning I've had this year. I've always had super thick hair, and since I've started growing out part of my hair, I've been starting to miss it. Call me vain or whatever you like, but I'm not ready to go bald yet now that I can enjoy growing my hair out without being constantly misgendered because of it and without major dysphoria.

I carefully tried the rosemary oil thing with no luck, and it wasn't worth it because I was constantly scared of my cats getting exposed to it. Minoxidil was out as an option immediately because again, I have cats. So finasteride it is. I'm also going through a thyroid med dose adjustment in case that is causing the hair thinning (as it has definitely done in the past), so this should cover all the bases I guess.

Anyway, I was finally able to pick the finasteride up today. The prescription was sent to the wrong pharmacy originally, then after it was sent to the correct pharmacy I discovered that my insurance won't cover it and the listed price to pick up the prescription was $219.

So shout out big fucking time to the hero of the day, the pharmacist who did some kind of magic online and found a coupon for the medication. 90 day supply for only $18.

Hopefully it works without any scary side effects. I found a couple of random reddit threads from guys who started having periods again on fin and that sounds absolutely fuckin horrible, so wish me luck I guess.

[ohara-n-brown]

[WARNING: Rant]

Sometime made a post going 'Love the trans women in your life while they're still here'

Someone added 'Trans men and Nonbinary too!'

And this was the response.

My response: Cut this shit out, you're acting literally ridiculous.

First of all - no it's NOT an All Lives Matter moment.

ALL LIVES MATTER was created by white people who DON'T experience racism to silence the experiences of those who DO experience racism and die at the hands of it.

A transmasc or nonbinary person saying 'Us also!' is a not the same.

It's a group of people who DO experience transphobia adding to the experiences of those who ALSO experience transphobia.

It's A LOT MORE like a black person going 'BlackLivesMatter' and sometime commenting '#StopAsianHate too :)' and OP going 'wow fuck you read the room you're being racist.'

That's like a Gay person speaking out against homophobia and how it's wrong. And then a trans person says 'Transphobia too!' and suddenly it's 'Read the room. This isn't about y'all. Why do y'all have to bring yourself up always. This isn't about gender. Read the room-'

Sounds familiar to y'all? It should. I'm reading the room and the room is saying you just fucking hate another group of oppressed people lol

Another oppressed person who experiences the same violence as you adding their voice to your choir is NOT the same as white people using their privilege to silence others who experience racism when they themselves don't.

SECOND OF ALL - (tw death mention under cut)

YEAH THEY HAVE A RIGHT TO ADD 'Celebrate your trans brothers while there here' on a post you know..

considering a transmasc non-binary person got fucking beat to death on school grounds exactly a month ago.

Remember that??? The one whose death is being actively covered up by school, law, and state officials on a systemic scale??

Also - a fucking trans man from NJ is still missing as we speak (Elliot Ganiel)

But calling attention to that is like being a MRA??? Talking about a children deaths in a school bathroom and missing people are like being MRAs whose main concerns are women playing video games or some shit?

No. No it isn't.

Y'all misusing terms like MRA and yelling 'That's like all lives matter!!!' clearly show youdon't understand how oppression works in the slightest.

If you try to compare any white racist movement to an oppressed group of people - YTA.

One of us gets fucking killed with no justice, LGBTQ crisis line calls skyrocket, and when asked about it state officials say and I quote 'We don't want that filth in our state!!'

- and when we talk about it amongst people in our community it's 'read the room!!' or 'wow really MRA like'

Fucking bite me.

And before - 'Oh but they didn't have to put it on THAT post, they could've made their own'.

Did you not hear what I just said. A transmasc teen was beat to death and misgendered publically statewide.

Maybe transmascs would like to feel included by the community at this time? So they can feel safe? Safety in numbers? And maybe want to feel like the wider community cares when shit like this happens - which clearly.. y'all don't.

Cause when a transmasc kid is literally killed - and we see a post saying 'Love your transfemme friends whine they're here!' and add the same - only to be told to read the room - it tells us 'You only have a month or so to morn. They died last month? Why are you bringing it up now on a post about appreciating trans people before their death??? Read the room. That was for us only. Stop trying to hog all the attention'.

Like damn sorry for wanting to feel like my community would care if I got wiped off this fucking earth silly me. Silly us.

When we start the conversation on our own we're ignored. When we try to contribute our experiences to other conversations we're told to shut the fuck up and read the room and then compared to actual racists and sexists.

You constantly compare us to people who DO NOT face oppression - cis men and white people - in order to silence us, despite the fact you know we face oppression in ways both groups could never even imagine. You think you're slick. You're not.

BITE ME. HARD.

[feralferretxp]

Okay so this is a intro post about my headcanons for Bang's parents and his childhood. So yeah, buckle in guys :D

This is Meg, short for Margaret, and Ned, short for Edwin.

Meg was designed by @supgoddo while i designed Ned. These are just some early doodles of them.

Also this last one is my most recent drawing of them which was a while ago but I plan on drawing a lot of stuff of them and Bang for future posts ↴

I headcanon them to be rich/high class because:

Bang's whole canon name is pretty dang fancy, like come on there's no way he just has that name for no reason

As made in a older post of mine (this one) I talked about how Bang shows a lot of signs that he comes from a wealthy upbringing of some sorts. Including him having proper manners like when he greets a royal sand architect and some kid named "King"

Here's just a synopsis for Bang's parents and his childhood and how it all affected him:

Bangford "Bang" Bipplebop III grew up in a wealthy family under the weight of big expectations. His father, Ned (Bangford Edwin "Ned" Bipplebop II), was a self-made millionaire who pushed himself to succeed as his own father wanted. He hoped Bang would inherit this same drive and set high, often unrealistic goals for him to carry on the family legacy. Bang’s mother, Margaret "Meg", came from old money and embraced tradition, placing high value on elegance and respectability. Though she loved Bang, she struggled with his transition and often deadnamed or misgendered him, which only deepened the distance between them. As a kid, Bang struggled academically and socially, showing neurodivergent traits like his father has, but Ned is not even aware of his own traits so he's blind to Bang's struggles with causes more stain on their relationship. Bang was often clumsy and felt slow or “behind,” which led to frustration and yelling from his parents, leaving him feeling out of place even in his own home. Still, he idolized his dad, and when he transitioned, he chose to become Bangford "Bang" Bipplebop III. Ned was proud, but Meg quietly missed her “little girl”. Now an adult, Bang has adopted a chill, stoner-surfer vibe, projecting effortless cool demeanor. Beneath that, though, he constantly wrestles with feelings of inadequacy and failure. He dropped out of college, never achieving the high-class life his parents imagined. He even got his current job on Answer Team 341B by accident, after receiving someone else’s acceptance letter, which only adds to his sense of not belonging or “being behind,” since he was never properly trained. To cope, he uses weed to numb the pain and avoid his worries, but he fears this habit only reinforces the image of an ambitionless pothead that his parents likely suspect him to be. Beneath his mellow exterior, Bang battles with self-worth, struggling to break free of family expectations that never quite fit.

So in a nutshell, he’s a trans man dealing with generational trauma who masks his insecurities and self-doubt with a laid-back persona while using weed to numb the pain 👍

Also my headcanons for his childhood struggles help explain why he shields his face and head when he gets yelled at times, which i also talked about in a different post. (right here) Like him fearing of being scolded at again for doing something wrong. Or even just to shield and protect himself when he feels like he's in danger. Poor dude🥺

Also to point out that there are a few moments in Answer Time where you can see where Bang is not at all interested in business, like in the Internet episode where he looks disengaged and even a little bored when Stacy, the human calling them, was talking about his corporate job that's all about serious business. And plus the Stocks episode where Bang has no idea or interest in how to run a company when he was trying to figure out how stocks work. Which helps with my headcanon that he ofc doesn't find any interest in business like his father does and doesn't want to be in it.

Heck, even Sue tells Bang in the Stocks episode, "Some folks are just born with a innate talent for business." Which could hint that business is in his family blood somehow.

Anyways, back on track. My voice claims for Meg and Ned are Mother Gothel from Tangled and Wheatley from Portal, and those could also kind of show how they both act like but not entirely of course but just sorta the gist of it in a nutshell.

Since moving out for college, Bang has been living on his own away from his parents and after dropping out, he cut off all contact with them, being too ashamed to face them as their only child who was a far cry from what they had hoped for. But I do theorize that perhaps after the Stock episode when Bang's red t-shirt company flunked in stocks, Ned took notice of this (not to mention all of the adverts with Bang's face in them) and thus could lead to him and Meg soon finding Bang and meeting him after so many years. Which would scare the living hell out of him if he ever saw them knocking at his door, but that's for another time I think.

So yeah that's what i have for y'all so far with Med and Neg. I'll probably make other posts talking about Meg and Ned in more depth with their own backstories and lore. I hope you guys like my headcanons or whatever. Please feel free to comment or share your ideas or thoughts!

Thank you for reading this far and have a good day! ✨

[genderqueerdykes]

I saw the post about respecting it/its pronouns users and I wanted to ask a question. I am genuinely curious and want to understand better so I’m sorry if I miss the mark. Personally my discomfort with referring to someone with it/its isn’t from the idea that I don’t personally want to be referred to that way, but from feeling like even though it is being specifically requested, it feels dehumanizing. I think it would be a similar feeling if someone named themselves something that is typically a slur or hate speech. I wouldn’t call them the wrong name but I don’t think I would be able to use their name if that makes sense? It deeply uncomfortable to refer to someone in a way that I see as dehumanizing. I don't know how to get over this thought process. Do you have any suggestions? I want to be able to fully respect people’s choices and pronouns properly and understand.

hello thanks for stopping by!

since i get this exact question constantly, let me phrase it like this:

this is hypothetical, i don't know your real pronouns. but let's say you started telling people "my pronouns are they/them, please use those for me, i only use they/them." and everyone around you went:

"i can't use they/them for you. i won't do that, that feels dehumanizing to me. it makes me uncomfortable."

are those people justified in misgendering you because they are uncomfortable?

all of those things you said:

all of these things are about you. you are are thinking about yourself and your own feelings here, not someone else's.

you cannot project your own personal discomfort on to a total stranger like that. they asked you to be referred to by it/its. you are misgendering them if you refer to them by any other pronouns. that is dehumanizing. instead of getting caught up in how you feel about being referred to as it/its, think about how you're dehumanizing someone else by misgendering them instead!

it's never okay to misgender someone because of how you feel about a pronoun set that genuinely is harming no one. it doesn't matter how you feel about those pronouns as you are not the one being referred to by them. the thing is, you are not being called it/its in this scenario. it is the other person who you are calling that. they told you and asked you to do it first. it's not a bait and switch, you're not getting baited into misgendering someone. it is misgendering when one refuses to use that set of pronouns

my suggestion is question why you felt it was appropriate to consider your comfort over someone else's. do you approach people who use they, he, and she this way? if so, that's something you must address, as those pronouns are also used to dehumanize intersex and trans people every day. every day trans women are dehumanized with he and trans men are dehumanized with she. those can also be deeply dehumanizing pronouns, the focus shouldn't be on it/its

the more you use them for people who want them used for them, the more comfortable it becomes. also, it might be good to just.. ask that person how those pronouns make them feel, what they like about them. it might give you a better perspective on it as opposed to a negative assumption

hope that helps! feel free to ask any more questions you may have. all in all, don't make someone else's queer identity about you. that's the best way to approach any identity that someone asks you to be called that isn't outright appropriative or actually harmful or dangerous.

[velvetvexations]

it's so annoying it took this long like clearly I need to be way louder and more persistent

Please feel free to ask anything you'd like~!

I was on Tumblr for most of the 2010s but bounced shortly after the porn ban. I came back early this year after Reddit takes on FHJY infuriated me and I moved back over here.

The idea is that supposedly AFAB non-binary people are constantly rubbing their unique gender complexity in the face of "binary trans women." This is complete fucking nonsense and not remotely a thing that actually happens. Some people just be really fucking insecure and project that insecurity onto others to give them an excuse to be defensive about being binary.

This reaches to the point of claiming that no trans woman is "binary" in "a way that counts," and like...

Do you remember when TRFs had a meltdown about other people liking a shark plushie?

Or the time TRFs targeted a trans man for "erasing transfeminity" by drawing himself into a meme that was originally depicting a trans girl?

Or what about "gentrification of a fetish"?

Because, boy wow, you wanna talk about appropriation, am I right? Fucking "no trans woman is binary" get the fuck out of here Programmersocks.

Fascinating. Thank you, anon!

it's always funny in a cosmic sort of way when a TRF starts yelling about how you can only be a tryns wymyn if your birth certificate says "M" like okay miss Vogel

this is tangential but I had to google remind myself of Lisa Vogel's name and getta load'a this take lmao

Well~!

We have each other, anon. <3

misgendering is bad on principle but some people only care when it affects them in a way they don't like

lmao that sounds like a children's book that gets adapted into a Disney Channel movie

[ikeepforgettimypassword]

I truly am that part of the trans community thats like, "oh my dysphoria isn't that bad i don't think I want to fully transition." And then I'm constantly like, "I wish my voice was deeper, I wish I could grow a mustache, I wish my chest was flatter, I wish my body wasn't curvy."

And I'm ALSO one of those trans people that's like, "yeah I use he/they pronouns but being misgendered doesn't bother me too much." And I'm sitting here, realizing that almost every customer at my job refers to me in she/her and generally feminine/female honorifics (miss, ma'am, she/her pronouns, a man today called me babygirl and I fucking hated it) and that it actually really fucking sucks! I hate it! I don't wanna be a woman stop seeing me as one it sucks! ah!

[lewiscarrolatemybrain]

I love trans Jin Ling but I specifically love trans Jin Ling in a way where Jingyi calls him Young Mistress and Jin Ling rightfully gets pissed about it, but as time passes and the two become totally-not-friends-shut-up the name changes and Jin Ling actually sort of starts to definitely-not-like-it because he knows Jingyi doesn’t mean it like that and anyway it’s Jin Ling’s gender and he gets to decide how precious he wants to be about it.

Then Jingyi finds out Jin Ling is trans and he is appalled. He’s been? Misgendering him?? This entire time??? He didn’t know he didn’t mean to. He presents himself to the disciplinary pavilion for punishment and refuses to tell the disciple in charge the specifics of why he needs to be punished but he’s insistent that it’s A Big Deal and ends up kneeling in the courtyard for days, because the least-Lan Lan who ever lived is still, at his core, a Lan.

When Jin Ling asks what Jingyi got in trouble for this time Sizhui just does that Thing where he’s not rolling his eyes but somehow radiating exasperation and tells Jin Ling not to even worry about it, Jingyi is being dramatic, and Jin Ling lets it go only to notice, weeks later, that Jingyi no longer calls him Young Mistress.

Nothing else about their dynamic has changed. Jingyi is still the worst, and Jin Ling still endures it with all the grace, poise, and long-suffering patience expected of a man of his status, and if he does occasionally very rarely slip up just a little bit and express a totally reasonable amount of frustration with Lan Jingyi’s Everything then that’s still Jingyi’s fault because Jingyi was provoking him and Jin Ling has a responsibility to his clan and sect to defend his honor and therefor that of the Jin at large!

The only thing that’s different is that one, stupid name. And Jin Ling doesn’t care about it! Of course he doesn’t! Why should he even be curious about changed? He isn’t curious! It doesn’t matter to him At All!

Anyway other Plot happens and then they both do eventually end up in a situation where it comes up and Jingyi explains that he found out Jin Ling was trans and felt like a great big piece of shit because there’s bullying and there’s bullying and he has never once wanted to be that kind of person, and Jin Ling confesses that actually he kind of liked it before because he knew that Jingyi wasn’t trying to treat him like less of man, he was just being a jerk, and it felt easy and playful and dumb, and...

And Jiujiu used to say that Jin Ling looked like his mother. Not -- not a lot, not like, identical to her or anything, but. But that little girl he used to be, she was... unhappy, most of the time, for a lot of reasons, and he doesn’t regret... letting her sleep. He doesn’t regret burying her. But Jiujiu seemed almost relieved to have her gone, to not constantly be looking at a reminder of the sister he misses so much, and Jin Ling obviously is endlessly grateful for his uncle’s support and validation and he’s so much more comfortable in his body now and he never wants to be that little girl again, but. Sometimes, he feels like, maybe someone should mourn her. Like maybe there should be someone who... not wanted her back, really, but was still... aware that she was gone, and... was grateful for what she did. Respected the sacrifice she made, so that Jin Ling could be Jin Ling. There should be somebody who knew she existed, and thought of her fondly, on occasion.

And Jingyi looks at Jin Ling for a long, long moment, and says “Okay, Young Mistress. I can do that.”

[tealmaskmybeloved]

A bit of ranting here under the cut (plus some talk of transphobia and suicide attempt mention) so be warned, and you can skip if it's not for you.

Ok so, I don't know if this is normal, but my brain still believes it's my fault about what happened with my mom's friend.

It keeps saying that I shouldn't have slammed the door when I was upset, that I shouldn't have brought up that JKR hates trans people, that if I just kept my mouth shut about it all, I would still be able to visit my friend, and that her mom wouldn't have threatened to call the cops on me.

Because I miss my friend and I enjoyed hanging out with them, but I can't ever go visit their house. (And my house is NOT an option)

And some things my friend said made me feel a bit bad about myself and is partly responsible for how I feel about the incident. And like I know it's not her fault, she really only had her parents I'm her life, so she is likely to take their side in things.

But still it just sucks, man.

I try to tell myself that "dude the mom was hurting you, she was being transphobic, you had every right to get angry"

But a part of me is just like "ari suck it up life sucks you can't go around being sad like this get over it and maybe if you didn't react how you did you still wouldn't be hated by the mom"

I honestly started to just hate being trans sometimes, and I get nervous when meeting new people because I don't want to say I'm trans and get harassed for it but also I don't want to be constantly misgendered.

It's been nearly a month since the incident happened and it still has been tormenting me every day. The smallest things can cause it to bring it up in my mind.

It's the main reason for my lack of woosh energy and excitement I get when seeing Toxic Chain Kieran art or Pecharunt or the Loyal 3. I was pretty open about it with my friend and we talked about it together.

Whenever I look at stuff about Pecharunt and whatnot, a part of my brain brings up the incident and all the negative things that come with it.

I had Shrouded Fable Packs in my backpack for over a week that I didn't touch or look at because it was the one I brought to my friend's house that day. I didn't fix my shrine for the longest time.

I don't go to the store to get Pokémon packs anymore because I used to do that with my friend and now I can't.

Even calling or texting feels wrong to me because I'm always worried that her mom is gonna find out and delete her socials or something.

I want to enjoy Pokémon, I really do.

But whenever I try, all I see is the furious look on her mom's face telling me to leave the house, or the bridge that I considered jumping off because I didnt want to deal with shit anymore.

This shit hurts, man.

Maybe someday I'll be able to look at Pokémon without being reminded of the incident.

But that day is not today.

[dazedpuppydairies]

So, I was just reminded that a month ago, I called a local crisis hotline and was repetitively misgendered/deadnamed. For context, I'm nonbinary, I'm almost always misgendered by strangers, and usually don't go out of my way to correct folks unless I'm going to be interacting with them regularly. I don't take offense when folks I don't know misgender me. Like, obviously, it doesn't feel great. Obviously, I wish folks didn't assume my gender and maybe I should correct folks more often, but I simply don't have the physical or emotional bandwidth to deal with it constantly. Usually, being misgendered by someone I don't know who I'm only going to be interacting with for a short period of time wouldn't bother me, but I'm pretty sure this person was doing it on purpose, or something adjacent to that. This particular crisis hotline is run by one of the big hospitals in my area, and when you call, they pull up your chart. I know from past experience my correct name and pronouns are right there and that they're supposed to use them. I genuinely try to assume the best of folks, like maybe they just missed it, but it really didn't feel that way. From the moment I got on the phone, they seemed disinterested in me. I really got the impression they thought I should have just coped with the situation on my own and not called. I was having an episode, and for months up until recently, I had been really isolated, so I just wanted to talk to someone. One of the reasons why I use that particular line is because usually, the social workers will like actually have a conversation with you and talk to you like you're a person. I felt really judged, so my perspective changed to let's just get this over with. Honestly, I felt like I was matching their energy. Anyway I was just reminded of all of this because I noticed that I had a missed email from around a month ago, so I checked my portal and saw that they give you the notes from these phone calls now. When I read the note, I was misgendered over and over again. Yeah, I can't be certain, but I'm pretty sure they were treating me weird because I'm trans so now I feel like I can't use that crisis hotline anymore or recommend it to folks.

[destinygoldenstar]

Okay, um, this is random to bring up:

I had a NIGHTMARE once about Digital Circus about Lily Orchard talking about the show. XD

Basically, it was her voice talking about how AWFUL and BAD INFLUENCE the show is. And how "Anybody who ever made this show popular should be ashamed of themselves, let alone you genuinely think this is good."

And she was also misgendering half the characters. Saying Gangle and Pomni were boys and that Pomni was "Supposedly this little boy stuck in this world".

And completely missing the point that Zooble is genderfluid. Or, scratch that, acknowledging the coming out monologue, but saying "Glitch is a bunch of huge turds for this! How dare they make a potato head cartoon character an allegory for genderfluid people! They should've just made Zooble human!"

I don't think I need to say this, but Zooble being in a regular human body would make no sense in the show. By the show's own lore that they establish.

(And when I asked genderfluid people their feelings about Zooble as rep, they were very positive and expressed how heard they felt about it.)

She would also go on a tyrant about how EVIL Jax and Caine were as characters and how Caine was OBVIOUSLY a stand in for real life dictators and tyrants! And the only way the show should end satisfyingly would be to kill these guys!

And she's constantly harassing Glitch and Goose about how bad people they are because they made a show that got popular and she doesn't like it. No other reason. (She does this a lot with writers of shows)

And in that nightmare, EVERYONE was calling out the BS of it.

"It is obvious to anyone who has seen this show ONCE that these are flat out wrong."

"Pomni is NOT a 'little boy'. Pomni is an adult woman. You can tell just from her voice alone that she's a woman. And they SAY she's an adult IN THE SHOW."

"Zooble is genderfluid and they confirm it in the show. That's not a 'metaphor'. That's not 'queerbaiting'. They say it in the show. They explain it. And their body functions that way it does because of the IN UNIVERSE logic. Doesn't mean the point isn't coming across."

"You're adding real life politics in a show that's universe doesn't have any. And takes no inspiration from such whatsoever. There is no justice system in the Digital Circus!"

"Except Caine is not evil and Caine is not a tyrant. That's the fault in that logic."

"HOW DO YOU NOT GET ANY OF THAT?!"

I was one of them, because I was LIVID.

THIS IS ME TALKING ABOUT A DREAM. THIS IS NOT SOMETHING THAT EXISTS.

PLEASE, I beg you, for the love of god, don't tell Lily about me saying any of this. She's a VERY sensitive person. She has a temper. She'll take it as harassment (It's not supposed to be.). She'll be cyberbullying me about it. She'll be trying to cancel me and putting me in whatever negative light she can find. And frankly, I don't want the attention of her or her fanbase and I don't want anything to do with what she does. And I don't want anybody coming after her for this for any reason. Leave her alone.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

was ita for ghosting/cutting off my ex girlfriend after our junior year?

i (currently 17, trans M) knew this girl (currently 17(?), F) from around 7th grade [middle school] to 11th grade [junior year of high school], so five school years/ten ish years total, give or take. we just graduated this year so this is kind of old drama, i was happier not talking to her but i always kind of regretted not giving her like. the reasons why

we dated from i wanna say. the middle of 7th grade to the middle of our freshman year. she broke up with me because her other boyfriend at the time was jealous she was dating another person [both of us are polyamorous]. we stayed in contact but i got a bit distant during lockdown because my mental health was going down the drain fast and i was just kind of isolating myself from Everyone, but got back into regular contact at the beginning of junior year because of our schools dungeons & dragons club.

she was running basically a continuation of the campaign that had been cut short because of lockdown and i didnt know any of the other campaigns DMs so i decided to join her campaign again since i had been missing my character anyways. at this point id been out for about three years i think? and made a point of introducing myself to the group with my chosen name and he/him pronouns. i dont pass very well, but i usually had a trans pride flag and pronoun pin visible on my outfit whenever we had sessions. my character was also a trans man, only using he/him pronouns as well.

whenever she addressed me or my character, she defaulted to using she/her and my deadname, despite my constant correcting her and the other party members. the only people in the party that used both the right name and pronouns for me and my character were the only other trans person (currently 18, F) in the group who she also constantly misgendered, and a guy (currently 18, M) id become pretty close friends with, since we'd accidentally started a running joke about my character being his characters dad.

i started to kind of resent her and the other party members for the constant deadnaming and misgendering and honestly was just waiting for the campaign to be over. it wrapped up at the end of the year and i just took the opportunity to stop interacting with her entirely. i had made other friends that year, and had a few from the old friendgroup we had both been part of, that respected both my name and pronouns with no issues apart from the very rare accidental deadname.

senior year passed without me talking to her a single time, only really seeing her in the halls like. once a week. now that we've graduated i doubt i'll see her all that much except the way you sometimes see a kid from school at the grocery store or the mall or wherever, so theres not really anything i can do to get back in contact or make amends or whatever, and even if i could i dont think id really want to unless she showed she could handle actually using the right name and pronouns for me.

shes shown she can use them for a mutual friend of ours (currently 18, trans M) that passes really well so it just always made me feel like she didnt give enough of a shit about me or respect me enough to actually see me as the man i am. so. idk. was ita?

What are these acronyms?

[m-pennanti]

I have not been in this active fandom long but I have noticed a weird pattern (or flavor I guess?) in the discourse

A few imaginary examples:

- Everyone was hoping Joel got in s10 and then Joel went “actually I don’t *want* to join hermitcraft” and suddenly people started attacking everyone who previously said they hoped Joel was in s10 because they were “pressuring him”

- Pearl hid a few spider heads in xB’s base for him to find randomly and everyone hounded on her for griefing but when Etho burned down Gem’s house and didn’t help rebuild it it was a-ok

- Something big happened to Cleo and they made a video explaining she was taking a break for a while and people constantly bothered her about coming back sooner to the point they had to leave social media only two weeks into the break

- False made an amazing mini game with only one real flaw and everyone called it “ok at best and lazily made and could’ve done with a few more tweaks” and then Joe made a very flawed low-effort mini game off the top of his head and people started calling it “the best game on the server that so much effort was put into”

- Xizuma retired from Hermitcraft and the Hermits agreed that Cub would now host the server and some people were very upset that they didn’t choose Iskall and others bullied Xizuma about it despite it being a decision made by everybody

- Wels became active again on his own accord and had a lot of interactions with other Hermits and took a slightly different approach to his builds and people started saying they “hoped Wels would stop playing Hermitcraft and leave”

Again, these are not actual things that happened

But you can see it can’t you, you can see these things happening

These aren’t targeted at any ccs I kinda just threw names in randomly, maybe I am a bit biased but the only thing I did intentionally was people getting mad at the female ccs over the male ccs in the second example because I’ve noticed a raging amount of sexism in the mcyt community which obviously sucks

Just thought it was weird how this community has a weird set of themes that bother them and starts conflict while other things get shut down immediately like homophobia and misgendering, at least as far as I’ve seen

I wonder if it’s like that for other fandoms too? This is the only big fandom I’ve taken a deep dive into in my life so I wouldn’t know if certain fandoms having reoccurring discourse themes is a common occurrence. If they do it either isn’t very visible on the surface or it just flew right over my head (which happens a lot with me it seems)

Ofc as well these are all entirely my opinions and observations and this is my first time discussing them so I won’t have considered other sides and perspectives, especially if I’ve missed something and just never came across it due to how fresh into the fandom I am

Thoughts? I realize this type of post is very dangerous to share because it feels like the type people would get upset about. If I’m entirely and completely wrong I’d be genuinely interested in hearing about why

[9-punk]

I remember reading a 9 fanfic once where 6 and 9 were dating, but 9 cheated on 6 with 1 resulting in 6 running off and then being comforted by 5, who he later got together with.

The only thing I was think during reading that was “9 would never do that. Ever.”

That was honestly the most out of character thing I’ve ever read in a fanfic.

I hate that fic with a burning passion. And the writer sucks too bc they constantly misgender the twins in fics (also I’m pretty they wrote a 9 x 3 fic at one point)

But look. I can handle some mischaractizations. That just comes with fandoms. I add to the miss characterizations with 8. (Tho tbh seeing how little was in the movie he almost a blank slate)

But you can’t just take away his key trait. Which 9 is loyal. That’s literally a major plot point of the movie. He wouldn’t cheat. He wouldn’t break you heart (on purpose at least) He’s brand new to the world and he’s figuring stuff out but something we know for sure is he has a lot of care for others

Again that fic sucks fuck that fic. 9 has two hands and would def try and convince 6 to be poly with 1 if he also loved 1.

[funkylilworm]

Name: Andy

Full name: Andy D. White

Age: 10 yrs old

Mental disability/ies: ADHD and Kleptomania

Race: Black

Ethnicity: Creole

Birthhome: New Orleans, Louisiana

Guide: Sedrick

Physical appearance:

Coco brown skin, hazel brown irises , plump nose, black locks (the tips being a dark purple), 27 inches tall, and around 270 pounds

Clothing Appearance:

A dark green and dark turquoise striped t shirt underneath dark grey overalls,light blue and black braces, a dark purple yellow and dark green cap , black glow in the dark sneakers, and a black backpack with a yellow star on the front

Items:

•School backpack (was just heading home before he first ended up in Fairyland)

•Lucky cap (dark green, dark purple, and neon yellow)

•Braces rubber bands

•Mystic Candy sword (w/ a sharp golden blade)

• Mr. Rawr ,extremely soft glow in the dark lion plush (will fuck up anyone that touches Mr. Rawr , Andy is extremely attached and overprotective of him)

•Black sneakers (stolen from a different guest in which he took down)

•Scrapbook

•His mom's hair product kit

Personality:

▪︎Positive traits-

Adventures ,Kind hearted, Takes shit from no one, Unique (very strange), Nerdy, Helpful, Brave

▪︎Negative traits-

Impulsive (adrenaline junkie), Stubborn ,Greedy , Insecure ,Unforgiving ,Snarky , Unpredictable

▪︎Nuetral traits-

Mute (does not speak at all) ,Steals anything that's not nailed down ,and Has a blank expression most of the time

Hobbies:

Parkour, skateboarding, exploring, karate (he took karate lessons before he ended up in Fairyland) , drawing sketching and/or doodling (an amazing artist), computer technician, Fandom culture, and magic tricks and card tricks

Likes:

Parkour, skateboarding, exploring, karate (he took karate lessons before he ended up in Fairyland) , drawing sketching and/or doodling (an amazing artist),computer technician, Fandom culture, and magic tricks and card tricks

Favorite food/s and drink/s:

Chocolate ice-cream cake(misses that), pepperoni and meatlovers pizza (misses that), cheese balls (misses that), lasagna (misses that), chili hot dogs (misses that), gumbo(misses that), and Benyas(misses that)

Dislikes:

Fairyland, the amount of traumatizing adventures he has to go through (knows that he has no choice), Gertrude , Cloudia, having constantly being jumped scared by how bright his surroundings is , wet socks , being interrupted , rude people, being shoved ,bullying ,loud chewing , his name being said incorrectly, being misgendered, bigots , creeps , and physical touch

Pet Peeves:

Wet socks, being interrupted, rude people, being shoved ,bullying ,loud chewing , his name being said incorrectly, being misgendered, bigots , creeps , and physical touch

Background/Backstory: Andy is a 10 year old that's from New Orleans, Louisiana and he lived with his physically mentally emotionally and psychologically abusive parents named Diamond E. White and Xavier A. White ,not only that but their parents always fought and argued.

The only solace Andy got was from his older sisters named Rosie J. White and Zariya B. White, his French teacher Louise Faucheaux , and his karate teacher Calvin Faucheaux (Calvin and Louise not only is two married men, but the two are a lot more fatherly towards Andy than Andy's own dad).

Until one day while heading home, Andy randomly got sucked into a hole that led to Fairyland!!

Name: Sedrick

Fullname: Sedrick L. MCNewton

Age: 24 yrs old

Mental disability/ies: Autism and OCD

Species:

Human (to guide): Andy

Physical appearance:

Really really small and chubby light green fly with yellow beady eyes

Clothing appearance:

Hot pink top hat, periwinkle purple monocle, light blue and periwinkle purple sweater, underneath the sweater is a white button up, and a hot pink bow tie

Personality:

▪︎Positive Traits-

Sophisticated ,Fatherly ,Charming, Intelligent ,Laid back ,Confident ,Snarky

▪︎Negative Traits-

Sleazy ,Lazy ,Greedy ,Materialistic (Really really loves money), Arrogant ,Can be a jackass at times ,Perfectionist,Addictive

▪︎Nuetral traits-

A big anxious scaredy cat

Hobbies:

Lockpicking and pickpocketing

Likes:

Money, Lockpicking, pickpocketing, looting , drama , adventures ( but only if it includes an award or payment), rewards , dabloons , chamomile tea, green tea, peppermint tea , and coffee

Favorite food/s and drink/s:

dabloons , chamomile tea, green tea, peppermint tea , coffee , snickerdoodle cookies, sugar cookies, cheese cake, and brownies

Dislikes:

Pet names, vulnerability, getting attached to people, the rich , Adventures, danger , long lines, waiting , people (hates socializing), socializing, loud chewing, Touching, shoving, germs , gross sounds noises and imagery , getting blood on his clothes , and black liquorice

Pet Peeves:

Long lines, waiting , people (hates socializing), socializing, loud chewing, Touching, shoving, germs , gross sounds noises and imagery , getting blood on his clothes , and black liquorice

Background:

Childhood- Had a terrible childhood, his dad proceeded to abandon him with his mom ,who than started abusing him (lived in a very rich family ,where his mom helicopter parented him)

Upbringing- Ran away where he ended up living a life on the road traveling as a child with no parents and living the life as a charming trickster that'll pickpocket and scam people out of their money to live

Adulthood- Now lives a lone where Queen Cloudia ended up assigning him as Andy's guide ,which he has tricked Andy into trying to abandon Andy multiple times before the two slowly but gradually started to trust each other

[fallenangelflonne]

sorry for worrying everyone with that post...! i think i'm doing at least a little bit better now. reading all your supportive messages has definitely helped, as has texting my boyfriend and getting to hang out with an irl friend today. i've also been taking steps toward getting my responsive web design and front-end development certifications. i still miss my mom and my dogs a lot and it's still really difficult not having them around (not to mention being forced to go to church and being deadnamed and misgendered constantly because it's not safe to come out to my conservative dad), but i just have to keep telling myself it'll get better eventually.