#I miss julian

[thebreakfastgenie]

Wait omg you like DS9 too right?? Ok if I'm not annoying you could I please request Julian Bashir for 1, 12, 22, & 23 please? THANK YOU I'm done now lol

Yes I do!!!! And you are not annoying!

1. Why do you like or dislike this character?

God I just loved him right away. He's so annoying but he cares so much! He's really a good guy he's just kind of obnoxious and it's not really his fault. He's a genius who made one really dumb mistake on a test and will never get over it. He is so good and kind and loving and moral and he never shuts up. I relate to him a lot and I just love him. The popular opinion is he's annoying at first but he gets better later but I don't understand this because it was love at first sight for me.

12. What's a headcanon you have for this character?

lol so I hate the augment retcon and fanworks have not redeemed it for me and will not and I prefer to ignore it entirely but I will accept that it happened, but there are certain things I absolutely will not allow to be changed by that retcon. So one of my headcanons is that Julian did not choose a remote posting to conceal his augmentations, he did it for the reason he said in the pilot: frontier medicine. He had a genuine desire to make a difference and felt that would be the place to do it and he was also very naive going in, but he grew a lot and did end up making a difference. My other one is that he did not miss one question on his exam on purpose. Yes, it's a ridiculous thing to mix up. That's a very realistic error. That's why he hasn't gotten over it. It's so relatable and so important to Who He Is to me. I also feel very strongly that augmentation or not, even pre-augmentation in post-retcon canon, he is twice-exceptional. The best way the augment thing works for me is if he was basically a mostly nonverbal twice-exceptional kid and the augmentations made him verbal and also athletic etc.

22. If you're a fic reader, what's something you like in fics when it comes to this character? Something you don't like?

I don't read a ton of DS9 fics but I guess I like fics that focus on his compassion as a doctor. I don't care for too much focus on the augment thing. I actually did have an idea for a storyline involving it myself, so I'm not completely closed off to fics that deal with it, but I'm also not very likely to read those fics because I am just not interested in it. Anything that leans too heavily on the augmentation explaining everything about him I am not interested in. I'm also not really into the parental trauma aspect of it all. I'm much more interested in his arc after he comes to Deep Space 9 and how the war affects him than I am in his backstory.

23. Favorite picture of this character?

I don't have it saved but that one where he's in his tennis outfit and he's just in the silliest pose.

[1960z]

ds9 characters as onion/reductress articles

[evergreenlover]

not in love with you!!!!! for the wip tag game!!!!!!

#first ask

Dear Diary,

What the fuck is going on? And when did I let myself move in with Sirius fucking Black? Who let it happen?

Oh, and Hestia? You're letting down sixteen-year-old Hestian, who swore to herself she would never ever, ever talk to Sirius Black again. She's upset with you, and I don't blame her.

I hate Sirius Black.

How the hell did this happen?

Update me when you find out.

With love, Hestia

[palpablestupor]

DS9's number 1 Lover VS DS9's number 1 Hater, except instead of fighting they should kiss and then they both win

[taya-ki]

The lovers?

[h00tzz]

Hiiiii Ghosts fanssss

(🦗🦗🦗)

[lucy-moderatz]

[uglygirlstatus]

at least we’ll always have Archie: The Musical

[decaffinated-dreams]

yes its been five years but i am not over emma hallucinating that she severed all parabatai bonds while coming back from thule, just to turn and see jem bleeding as he asks "emma, emma how could you?" i mean WHAT a perfect scene to show how powerful the parabatai bond is. throughout tda the bond becomes an antagonist as julian and emma struggle against it, and its hard to remember that its actually a beautiful way to connect two souls. one of my favorite parts of the shadowhunters books is how cassie shows how powerful and overwhelming platonic love can be, and will and jem are the embodiment of that. the bond isnt just a symbol of their love but the physical manifestation of its endurance, and thats why the seelie queens proposal to break all bonds is so tragic. to take away that kind of connection is sacrilege, even at the cost of romantic love. one is not greater than the other, and thats one of the subtle but beautifully written themes threading through tda.

[walkingstackofbooks]

"Are you happier? Now that the war is over?"

It had been meant as a serious question, but from the look on Kira's face, she hadn't caught onto that. "What sort of question is that, 'am I happier'?" she asked, laughing a little as she spoke. "Of course I am! Who isn't?"

Shrugging, Julian forced himself to smile back at her. "No, of course," he agreed. "Silly question."

His smile clearly hadn't been convincing: Kira's own smile had faded as she looked at him more closely, her eyebrows creasing into a frown.

"Have I done something to make you think I'm not?" she asked sharply. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"No-- no, nothing like that," Julian said hurriedly. "I mean, obviously Odo's gone now, and Keiko and the Chief, and Worf, and... and the Captain... But that-- That's different, isn't it, I guess. You can be sad and happy at the same time, right?"

He cringed, knowing that he hadn't quite managed to make sense there: years of practice had made him very good at recognising Kira's 'baffled' expression.

"All these years," said Kira, slowly shaking here head, "and I still don't understand you, sometimes. Of course I miss Odo, and the others -- and while we're at it, of course I'm still angry and-- and upset about the things that happened during the war..." She made a face, banging her fist lightly against the table. "Damn you, you know I'm no good with feelings, that's... there's a lot more there, besides," she added. "And I'm sure as hell not going into that right now...

"But if you're asking whether I'd rather be here, now, living without the threat of the Dominion or the Cardassians, knowing my friends are alive and safe -- and if they're not, at least being able to mourn them in peace, not having to make decisions that could get us all killed if it goes even slightly wrong... or if I'd rather be back there, in the war -- well. It's no contest, is it?"

"In theory, no, of course--"

"In theory?" Kira asked incredulously. "Julian, are you saying you were happier in the war?"

"No!" he exclaimed: that hadn't been what he'd meant at all. "The war was-- it was... Well, you couldn't be happy during the war, could you? Everything was too awful, it was impossible."

"A lot of the time, yeah," Kira said softly. "And that's gonna stick with us for a long time -- but they're only memories, now. We made it."

"We did," Julian said quietly, his eyes fixed on the table. "I just... I thought I'd be happier, I guess. Now that it's all over."

Kira reached forward, brushing her hand over his. "That's what this is all about?" she asked. "You aren't happy?"

"I never said I'm not," Julian objected hotly, looking back up at her -- but a sigh slipped out of him as he realised he didn't actually have an argument, and he shook his head, slumping back into his chair. Kira watched him, not saying anything.

"No, you're right," he admitted, pulling his arms across himself, almost too tight. "I know I'm supposed to be-- I know, after everything, it's so stupid... But, Nerys, I don't-- I don't think I am?"

Stopping to swallow the lump that had risen in his throat, he noticed he eyes had grown wet, which for some reason made him chuckle. "Isn't that silly?" he asked, leaning forward again. "We won the war, but I'm still not happy."

"No, Julian," Kira replied slowly. "I don't think that's silly at all. It's just... It's just very, very sad." She took a breath, reaching out to hold both his hands this time. "I'm sorry," she continued. "I didn't know."

"It's not your fault," he said, squeezing her hands tightly. "For a while, I just thought everyone else was pretending, too, so I just went along with it... And then I started to realise that no, you were all actually at least a little bit okay, and so I had to keep pretending, because happiness is so fragile and I didn't, you know, want to make anyone else feel bad just because I..."

He trailed off, shrugging a little. "I don't know, Nerys. I guess I just wanted to check that it wasn't just me, but it is just me, and now I've told you, and I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you feel bad--"

"Julian, no," Kira interrupted. "Thank you for sharing this with me -- I'm glad you told me, okay?"

Ears growing hot, Julian ducked his head, not quite sure to do with the wave of emotion spilling over him. Now that he'd told her some of it, he kind of wanted to let everything out. Distractedly, he started tracing patterns on her hands, pushing into them with increasing intensity.

"It's just-- I'm just..." He stumbled over his words, struggling to give voice to the one thought that he'd been trying to ignore for months. "What if this is it for me? What if I'm like this forever? It's been years, Nerys--"

To his horror, his voice cracked, and he covered his mouth, trying to hold back the sobs that were threatening to burst out. Hoping that no-one else had noticed, he looked around the replimat; thankfully the other diners seemed more interested in their own conversations than in him and Kira.

"Would you like to go somewhere less public?" Kira asked. Not quite trusting himself to speak, he nodded, and together they left the replimat.

As they walked down the promenade and up to the habitat ring, Kira steered clear of their previous conversation, chatting about the station, her week, her latest grievance with Quark, and Julian was grateful for the respite. But as soon as they were sat down in her quarters, she turned to him with a most serious expression.

"It isn't right, you feeling like that, you know," she said. "I don't have the answers, I don't know how it gets better -- but we both know someone who would. You haven't tried telling Ezri any of this, have you?"

Julian's stomach tightened: Ezri was the last person he wanted to have this particular conversation with. "Oh, yes, because that would go so well," he retorted sarcastically. "Hi Ezri, I love you, but you don't make me happy. Don't worry, it's not you, I'm just unhappy most of the time. Most of the time? Yeah, it gets better when I'm around you, because then I just kind of feel... nothing. What an improvement!"

"Julian..." whispered Kira, but it was all coming out now and Julian couldn't make it stop. He rose from the sofa, starting to pace as he spoke.

"Did you ever make me happy? Maybe, sweetheart, but I'm not even certain of that. I might have been so desperate for anything even resembling happiness that I just deluded myself into thinking I was in love... Do I even love you? Who the fuck knows, Ezri. Is love even real, or did it die in the war along with every-fucking-thing else?"

His voice had risen louder than he'd intended, condemning him with every word it pushed forcefully into the air. He'd made Kira cry, he thought, but he couldn't quite be sure, his vision being clouded by his own mess of tears.

"How could I possibly tell her that?" he asked, sitting back down heavily, his voice dropping to a hollow whisper. "Kira, how the hell do I tell her that?"

"Come here," she said in way of a response, pulling him against her and holding him tightly, so that he could feel her lips move against his hair as she answered him. "I don't know," she was saying, "but you have to, Julian. I can be there with you if you want but, Prophets, Julian, you have to. How could you not?"

How could he not?

Julian closed his eyes and let himself fall apart against his friend, not even bothering to try to answer her. It was terrifying, after all this time, to finally allow someone to see how broken he really was, but he was far, far too tired to keep it in any longer.

[hannibard]

[link7057]

Haha... guess who drew Sheol (my gf's Moral Orel OC @zimtlees) and Orel ❗️❗️❗️💥💥💥💥 This guyyyy ❗️❗️❗️ Yes as the Demolition Lovers why not

Also us being totally normal (I'm so normal) <333

[iliveforyouilongforyouvesuvia]

Vesuvia Weekly: Moments of Reprieve

~ written for @vesuviaweekly's prompt "I missed this" ~

"I missed this," Julian murmurs as you rub a warm salve on his cold, de-gloved hands. Between the freezing weather, the constant hand-washing at the clinic, and his already poor circulation, his knuckles are dry and chapped and clearly in need of some care. The firelight softens his harsh features and warms the grey in his eyes when he smiles at you. "You make my thoughts quiet - and kind."

"I missed this," Asra mumbles into your neck. They'd refused to let you get out of bed when they arrived home late, instead hurrying through their evening routine to join you and snuggle in. He can already feel your wry comeback and preemptively holds you closer for his reasoning. "I know I've been gone longer before, but when I'm not running away ... I'm finally free to come home."

"I missed this," Nadia sighs. She's sitting at the edge of the hot spring, tilting your head back into her lap so she can massage perfumed oils into your scalp. The past few months have been too busy to relax for more than a few minutes in the evenings. If you're being honest, just the smell and feel of her so close is already making your brain melt. She chuckles. "I've missed spoiling you, too."

"I missed this," Muriel mutters. You'd think he was being sarcastic (you're lying on the cold, hard ground in the middle of nowhere) but his furious blush would suggest otherwise. You haven't made the trek down to the Steppes in a while and it's colder than you remembered. One thick arm draws you closer to a body that's gotten heartier and (somehow) even warmer with good food. "I like keeping you warm."

"I missed this," Portia giggles from the carpet. Several seconds ago she was up on the couch next to you, but then you reached the cringiest part yet of the cheap novel you picked out to read and react to together, and she laughed until she fell off. She clambers back up onto the cushions and sets your drink aside to rest her legs in your lap. "Stories are so much better when you tell them."

"I missed this," Lucio groans. He sinks down into the plush satin next to you, robe shifting open to reveal more of his chest in the process. Nadia had put you in touch with an old noble friend of hers who decided give you the royal treatment when you stopped by. Lucio looked ready to cry of happiness when he saw the private room and big, comfy bed. "It's even better with you here, y'know."

[sirellas]

DS9 2.22 | THE WIRE

[taya-ki]

Keep thinking about them.. colored doodle and a wip!