#I might post a progress thing or whatever idk

[i-wiggle-i-squirm-bc-i-am-a-worm]

Realized I hadn’t posted in a while, so here’s some DJwifi!!! Gotta love the chaotic girl/chill dude pairing, they’re so cute <3

(also there’s a extra ladybug under the cut)

[vspin]

Astarion should have had a post-Araj conversation (that doesn’t lock in the romance) AND the unprompted confession 

You might have noticed that Patch 3 changed Astarion’s romance progression a bit. Previously, if you had entered Moonrise and had high enough approval with Astarion, he would approach the MC at a long rest and confess his manipulations and growing feelings towards the player character.  It’s such a beautiful scene and is so well acted. Now that confession is tied to after you kill Yurgir and if you haven’t talked to Araj in Moonrise. 

I actually kind of like his confession being tied to progressing his personal quest, and if you think about it an early admission in Act 2 does seem kind of quick based on his past/struggles. 

Buuut, I am disappointed that if you talk to Araj early-on you can lock in the romance then and you won’t get the unprompted confession later on, because I think that scene is much stronger from a ROMANCE and partnership perspective. 

Araj Conversation

The post-Araj conversation is an amazing moment for Astarion’s development and arc. His realization that he never stopped acting like a slave. His decision to stand up for himself and advocate for what he wants. It’s so powerful. It’s a critical moment for Astarion and his journey to be free from Cazador.

Honestly, I think tying it to the romance really cheapens it and creates an initially one-sided dynamic for his romance.  

These are the dialogue options after he thanks you:

The first 3 options lead to him opening up more about his feelings and this line: 

After this, if you want to progress the romance you tell him you care for him and it leads to the hug scene/whatever option you want. 

BUT HE NEVER MENTIONS MANIPULATING YOU and that he's developed feelings. Hello Astarion!? I feel like that's kinda important to the dynamic here! With these options, poor Tav is left in the dark because it doesn’t come up again really.

Now, if you pick the last option: Why sleep with me?

You get these lines: 

(His face lmao, smug little bastard)

His line delivery here is interesting. He’s very matter-of-fact about it. He’s like “duh! I was using you and it was easy”. 

Depending on how you're RPing your MC this pretty rough lol. A naive and good-hearted Tav may have actually thought there was something there. 

And these are the dialogue options to respond to it. That’s it. No pushback from Tav. They can end things, just be friends, or progress the relationship. Idk it’s just not my favorite. 

Unprompted Confession

Compare that to the unprompted confession. 

He approaches Tav. He confesses the manipulation and what I think is super important he is THINKING about Tav’s feelings: “You deserve something real.” 

And what I love is that Tav can choose to immediately confess their feelings or push back a little here: 

I think this is a much better dynamic between potential partners. Options 2 + 3 really give more context to his feelings and also allows Astarion to reiterate his positive feelings towards MC. 

Up until this point in the relationship, the MC has given a lot to Astarion, and Astarion hasn’t given much back beyond sex. Tav has listened to Astarion open up about Cazador, protected him from the monster hunter, helped with his scars, the mirror conversation, let him drink from them (potentially), and supported the endeavor with Raphael. 

I think this conversation is Astarion acknowledging all that and him giving something back in return by being honest with his feelings, even if there is a chance he’ll get nothing out of it. 

I think this why people love the Durge x Astarion romance so much because it offers more give and take between the two, and depending on which confession scene you get with Tav it is a very one-sided dynamic in comparison.

The second scene a MUCH better foundation for something to develop between the two in my opinion.

Final Thoughts

I think the Araj scene should happen regardless but with the romance portion omitted. Of course, I think Astarion should still break up with MC if they made him drink, force him to have sex, or give Tav an option to end it as well if this isn't something they want to involve themselves in. 

Then, I think you should get the actual confession after defeating Yurgir. I think it makes sense that after Tav has advocated for Astarion’s autonomy and helped with his scars he realizes his feelings. 

Big thanks to these Youtube channels here and here for the screenshots. My saves are a mess and I didnt want to fight with it.

[winwintea]

nct vs haunted house (who you picking to go with you?)

pairing ↬ ot25 nct (127, dream, wayv, wish)

tags ↬ cussing, i roast everyone (sorry not sorry)

author’s note ↬ very lax and lazy shitpost. can y'all pretend like i posted this before november 1st to spare me the embarrassment and shame, thanks. also in no apparent order so you might have to dig for your member. this is the first time i've posted for all the members... also only seen the wayv and dream haunted house videos so it might not be fully accurate.

sakuya

nah why the hell would you pick him. this shit is gonna make a bolt for it and leave you alone inside to defend for yourself. if it's a haunted house walkthrough, he's gonna speedrun it and save himself, not you. if it's a horror escape room he's probably gonna get jumpscared, but will distract himself by laughing at you. NOT HELPFUL AT ALL, somehow manages to break everything. (0/10 partner, made me cry afterwards. this is why i hate children /j)

winwin

you've got like a 50/50 chance of surviving this thing. winwin's scared out of his wits when it comes to haunted houses, but in an actual stressful situation he thinks very logically. given the right circumstance, he doesn't make dumb choices, and can actually progress through the haunted house fairly easy. his only flaw is that when he gets jumpscared he has extreme reactions and always is on the floor. (6/10 partner, just make sure he isn't pulling you to the ground as well.)

haechan

no sane person would pick him, are you okay? i mean he's kinda unpredictable. either cackling and laughing his ass off or sobbing or straight faced the whole time. when he's scared he demands to be carried, like tf? thought you were supposed to protect me. whatever. actually kinda smart and helpful though like if you're lucky you two can get out just fine. (7/10 partner, because at least he isn't gonna leave you alone to die, you'll die together.)

doyoung

get ready for snarky comments on everything, "i wonder if these people are getting paid minimun wage." or "whoever designed this place needs to go to jail why is everything so ugly looking." he's a NERVOUS WRECK though. starts yapping when he's scared. telling the scare actors to "wait pls" (they won't love you like i love you) they don't listen to him though... very tense, movements are stiff, he has like a 25% chance of actually being helpful. (2.5/10 partner, someone tell him to move faster.)

jaehyun

you picked the nonchalant king himself! he'd probably be a bit scared, maybe a few jerks or flinches from the jumpscares, but nothing too bad. probably laughs at the actors or at the situation, but it's not a mocking laugh. very helpful and you'll definitely make it out of there alive! if you're easily scared no worries! he'll be fine carrying you if he has to. give yourself a pat on the back, you picked well. (10/10 partner i have no complaints)

jisung

someone save this poor baby and you because you two are also not making it out alive today. not very loud screams, but oh my god he clutches his chest and bucks his knees like he's heard the worst news of his life. 15,000 mental breakdowns in the span of a minute. asks random obvious questions and is curious about everything. he's too lost in his own head and thoughts to be really helpful, plus he's too scared to try anything so you really aren't progressing further unless you lock in. (2/10 partner, i love you ji but i gotta survive)

riku

honey idk who lied to you but riku is not brave at all. another stumbler, he's tripping all over the place, sometimes you wonder whether it's on purpose or not. no cause this man spends more time on the floor then actually on his feet. when he's collected himself and believes that there's no reason to be scaried he's gonna aegyo his ass off. which doesn't work lol. might as well use him as a meat shield atp. (3/10 partner, good meat shield /j)

yushi

also a 50/50. very very very helpful and knowledgeable when it comes to solving clues and mysteries. but when it comes to progressing forward and interacting with the scare actors he's not in his element. asks "who's there" as if anyone would answer. also in denial half of the time, "oh it's not that sc- AHJH SHHHH-" runs around and clings to something, probably your arm. (7/10 partner, just the two of us, we can make it if we try! )

hendery

i asked to survive not a distraction for my fears and worries. why is bro singing???? we're supposed to be working and solving the puzzles, no more distractions pls!! he's going to terrorize you just because it's funny, but i'm in a haunted house NOT A COMEDY CLUB. when it comes to solving clues he cooks dogshit!! nobody let him back into a haunted house thanks! (0/10 partner, i need the scare actor to mercy kill me atp)

chenle

why. you know better than to pick him. 100% will scream as loud as he can and sacrifice you in -119 seconds. laughing mess. he's like sakuya and will leave you to fend for yourself. he dngaf. will also terrorize you because it's "funny". unless it's a competition he will not help you at all and pretends like he's helping but he's not doing anything except goofing around. try again. (-143/100 partner, except he doesn't love you like in the skz song)

johnny

you make it out of there purely off of johnny’s dumbass luck. i’m serious. as soon as he’s jump-scared he puts his hands up and turns around like “helll naahhhh” and then he starts scolding the scare actor like he’s their dad ???? or something ?? why the fuck did this turn into a big ass therapy session about how the scare actor could turn their life around and use their talents for something more rewarding in life? (9/10 partner, you only make it out of there because the scare actor tearfully tells you the answers to all the clues and promises johnny he’ll work on bettering himself.)

kun

if you thought his leader mode self would activate you are wrong. completely wrong. first of all he TRIES to act calm and mature, but fails miserably. also he forces you to do everything, go first, because bro is ACTUALLY A COWARD ISTG. at least he's pretty decent at solving problems, but when he gets jump-scared he's too terrified to function, like if was by himself he would get himself killed. (-4/10 partner, i asked for a good partner not a manchild)

yuta

going with the other non-chalant king is also a fairly good choice! except he's even more unbothered and unfazed than jaehyun, you're wondering if you should be more scared of him than the actors. feel bad for the actors though like they get a kick out of scaring people and he's just like "heh. that's funny" not very helpful with puzzles though so you might have to do that yourself! (8/10 partner, you'll probably survive, but you'll do most of the work unfortunately.)

renjun

i think the only other person you could pick that's worse than him on this list is taeyong. CONSTANTLY CLINGING TO YOUR ARM. savagely trying to crack jokes but is scared out of his wits for sure. he's okay with solving clues, renjun is smart, just don't pressure or tease him or he might actually snap. honestly just don't pick renjun to be your partner. (-127/10 partner, why are we still here? just to suffer?)

taeyong

you are 100 percent getting killed today !! congratulations !! or maybe you wanted that? poor bubu was not cut out for this line of work okay. he screams the loudest screams you've ever heard, does not function normally after the first scare. you could've picked anyone else and maybe you would've had a 99.99% chance of dying instead of 100. (-553/10 partner, PICK BETTER PLEASE. i'm so fucking mad /hj)

ten

he's a runner he's a track star !! he's literally a cat. what else did you expect? him to not be a scaredy cat? when u call him out for being unhelpful or too scared he'll gaslight tf out of you. he'll also deflect and start saying everything you're doing wrong as if you aren't the ONLY PERSON DOING ANYTHING AT ALL?? “stop pushing me” EXCUSE ME? YOU PUSHED ME? makes me so mad, but at least he sometimes is helpful i guess. (-40/10 partner, you should know better than to pick him.)

sion

better than kun maybe on par with winwin i'd say. his leader mode is definitely more active here, also tries to play up and be brave, gets scared very easily but it's okay. he reacts quickly and that's honestly all that matters in a haunted house bc if you can get out of that inital shock and think logically about the situation you can survive about anything. very good with puzzles i don't think he's a bad option! (8/10 partner, jaehyun maybe enlisting in a couple of days but at least we have sion)

jeno

might be the one of the best options out of all of these clowns. but again nct is a circus and they are so unpredictable. i would feel safe with jeno though. he's suspiciously quiet, and not very reactive when it comes to the scares. very smart too like he solves the puzzles in seconds too. take jeno with you and you are LIVING TO SEE THE LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL! (12/10 partner, very satisfied would recommend. )

xiaojun

you picking xiaojun is like whoever tf seulgi is singing to that knows 28 reasons to run away but chooses to depend on her anyways. LIKE CMON. xiaojun definitely scares himself. also he's really loud in general like you need something to shut him up with. bad at puzzles, okay with scares, idk if you're gonna survive broski. (2/10 partner, maybe xiaojun has dumb luck and you'll survive, who knows.)

ryo

way more mature than sakuya, i'm convinced you will actually survive! this little maltese is very brave and will definitely go first if you're too scared. also willing to throw hands but let's talk about that later you will make it out of there in decent time, and not struggle that much. may get a little bit scared, but he regains his courage very easily! (10/10 partner, guys i love ryo a lot. he's literally my child.)

jaemin

yes jaemin is a good pick, he’s not that phased by scare actors and will even try to talk to some of them about their day. spreads positivity but will probably mock you for being too scared if you get scared by the jump-scares. if you can deal with that you should be fine. he’s not as good as jeno is with the puzzles but can hold his own weight fairly well. “can we go again?” absolutely not. (8/10 partner, would’ve been higher but for that last comment he’s getting marked down a couple of points.)

jungwoo

just because this man isn’t vocal when he’s scared does not mean he isn’t shitting himself right now. instead of screaming, he opts to stumble and fall instead. any little noise will make him jump, even if it’s caused by himself. closes his eyes because “i can’t get scared if i can’t see them!” he was incorrect. jungwoo can in fact get scared if he can’t see them. (0/10 partner, no negatives for jungwoo but you probably won’t survive.)

mark

best option in my opinion. the only leader who calms down the fastest and reacts the best. i mean he deals with haechan and chenle on a daily basis so he has some practice. all his years of testing his patience has prepared him for this moment. deep inside he’s paranoid as hell, but that really doesn’t distract him from getting you two out of there as quickly as he can. extremely motivated and works hard to solve the puzzles. (17/10 partner, much better than his egg making abilities!)

jaehee

he thought it was going to be fun. it was not. “this was NOT a good idea. oh MY GOd-“ pointing to every little thing, “did you see that���. okay but his prediction game is kinda on point though. thanks to his paranoia he manages to predict all the jumpscares. so eventually you two come up with a plan to scare the actors themselves which actually works surprisingly, and lessens your worries about the whole thing. maybe it was fun after all. (8/10 partner, you got banned from coming back though)

yangyang

now most of y’all might think that yy will whine and scream and cry in a haunted house. and, you’re not wrong! but in terms of the pussy-ness scale against the rest of these clowns, yangyang is actually pretty good at this. he’ll flinch, react, scream, and run away, but he takes the lead. willingly to go first, even if he himself is shaking in his thousand dollar shoes the entire time. good at puzzles too! (7/10 partner, so good so bad like whatever zb1 said!)

perm taglist ↬ @lyvhie @aquaphoenixz @ldh0000 @galacticnct

[weebsinstash]

*strums guitar* you know who would be a total piece of shit, to be stuck up in Heaven fuckin FOREVER with

This douchebag! Gotta get some Adam content out before the finale drops and then I'm sure I'll be back for more then too!

I was listening to "You Didn't Know" again and I HATE this man, and because I hate him and he's an asshole, I can then see his wretched character doing shitty and debauched things

Which then means he's conceptually fuckable and we must discuss

I was sitting and thinking about. Ok in the most dramatic fucking way possible can you imagine being in the courtroom with Charlie as a Sinner Representative because you're dope like that, and Adam just starts fucking beefing with you on sight and you give it right back to him because HOMIE BASICALLY INVENTED MISOGYNY, you're standing in HEAVEN while an ANGEL looks you dead in the eye and calls you a CUNT like I wouldn't fucking tolerate it I'd be screaming at him like a feral beast, "why don't you look at your FEMALE BOSS and say that again, you dickless loser?!"

But can you imagine just having this insane BEEF, you guys are having MUSICAL DIAGETIC SINGING BEEF, and then, like. Either there in court or later on in the plot, hey, everything is good now, Sinners/you can ascend or we can go from heaven and hell and visit our families and everything is good now, yaaay! Or your name was mispelled on a form and it's like oh shit you were supposed to be in Heaven all along our bad and ONLY you are cool to "go upstairs"

And you can't even be happy about it because it's literally "oh cool I DO belong in Heaven!">wait but my friends are in Hell > oh fuck THAT ANGEL THAT HATES ME IS HERE, and sure enough he's standing there at the pearly gates to personally welcome you into Heaven, grinning like the cat that ate the canary, making it EXTREMELY CLEAR that he's basically gonna be stalking you because he wants to personally witness you fuck up and get sent back to Hell where he can kill you himself

Homie is back at base posting photos of you all over the walls like an insane person, "look at this tricky fucking bitch, fucking scheming, fucking planning something, fucking bitch" and even Lute is standing there, ".... that's a photo of them eating a sandwich, sir" and she's like TRYING to see where he's coming from but these are photos of you like SLEEPING and the suspicion that you might act out becomes an excuse to stalk you as he gets progressively more unhinged and perverted and frustrated (in more ways than one)

Let's also just discuss some baseline ideas! Abso fucking lutely do I see him as some, frat boy piece of shit who is always at least vaguely hostile to women so we're discussing female Reader specific ideas. Like imagine he's trying to actually be friendly and be cool with you or maybe you guys even hang out on good terms or whatever, maybe you both play guitar and he likes how you can shred it, and, he's the kinda guy to invite you to hang out and not specify other people are gonna be there so you get there and he's with his buddies and they're all talking about, gross shit like the size of the tits on the girl they last fucked, "oh hey did you sleep with Stacey" "fuck yeah I slept with Stacey you know that slut takes anyone", like, Adam deadass expects you to stand next to him with your red solo cup as they all talk about "the massive cow tits on that bitch" and if you even mildly imply this isn't entertaining "you're just bein a prude babe!"

Like Adam has no self awareness, he'll be saying horrid shit about women and then one of his buddies makes the most MILD of comments about you, "yeah your friend is kinda fuckable" and Adam is like in a RAGE, "hey man, that's not fucking cool! Let's go, outside NOW, fuckin step up, bro!" and he's brawling dudes for shit he's said about their conquests PLENTY of times

Just picturing the idea of like idk Saint Peter or even Emily flying around and they see you sitting on a bench outside far far away from where other people are and they fly down to greet you with the biggest smile, "hiya, how are you?" and you um look at them with such a genuinely dead, depressed, empty expression that they like cannot even fathom it. You're??? Unhappy??? In HEAVEN??? they cannot even comprehend it.

The real kicker is if you started to CRY and look this angel or seraph directly in the eyes as you ask, "can i... go back to Hell? I'm allowed to leave, right?" and THAT'S what raises massive red flags and sends that angel straight to their fucking boss. Sera would be over here, "oh she's having problems with Adam oh that's unfortunate but they'll sort them out -- WAIT WHAT DO YOU M E A N SHE WANTS TO LEAVE????" And,, oh, NOW they suddenly care about how happy you are, NOW they're suddenly willing to help maybe mildly keep Adam away from you. Because why? Because now you're potentially going to damage Heaven's perfect track record, and, geez they can't have you running around DEPRESSED, with your face looking all... ICKY and SAD! What if you made the other darlin-- I mean other residents of heaven sad and they maybe wanted to leave their precious angel protectors too? Huh? Ever think of that?

I love how I was sitting over here "what if like the entire Spider Society was yandere for the Reader" and ever since then my brain is like a puppy chasing treats, "what if I made this entire community mentally unhinged"

Also. Carmilla Carmine and her family + Zestial protecting Reader from Adam or any other angels because 👏 we can have as many mommies or daddies or fake family members as we want down here and that's the facts on that 👏

[celabi]

Winky face ☆彡 1.8k

This is part of my scummy men thing, but idk when I’ll post that so I’ll just post this early 🤷‍♀️ that probably would have been out if I didn’t get carried away with this 👽 they were supposed to be like 200 words each MAX 🤡

Heizou is not ashamed to try and exploit his high rank in the 'important person' list to try and get what he wants— and being a member of the student council team means that he can get away with almost just about anything. He grins to himself, and raises up his fist to knock on the door. His fingers are twitching in excitement, and the wait for approval is almost antagonising to him, to say the least. So when he's granted access by the professor to enter with a loud 'Come in!', he nearly skips in his step to rush open the door, and walk inside. Many curious eyes turn to him, but he likes the attention, so he doesn't stop, and excitedly strides over to the teachers desk. "Hello ma'am! I'm afraid [name] will need to miss out on this lecture... she's needed in the council office. As soon as possible, preferably." A lie, but of course, nobody here needs to know that. He turns his head, and hardly needs to scan around the room because it's almost instant that his mischievous eyes lock onto your tired ones. He winks, and uses his finger to motion you to come over when the professor agrees to his request with no questions asked, just what he wanted.

When you sigh in defeat, and get up from your seat and start to gather all of your belongings, he just stands there and stares, stares at your delicate hands as they move around to grab your things, stares at your soft legs when you bend down to pick up that eraser you just accidentally dropped, stares at your pretty little face when you walk over to the door and reach for the handle— he draws a deep breath, bids your teacher and class goodbye with a careless looking wave, and quickly jogs over to follow you. "What's the rush?" You're already half way down the hallway when he turns around after shutting the door, so he hurries up on his feet to catch up, only slowing down when he's finally matched your pace. "We have all the time in the world right now." He happily grins, reaches for your book bag before you can detest, and hoists it over his shoulder.

"You might, but I have stuff to do...like trying to continue my education and progress in life." You don't bother to turn your head when his hand finds place on the lower part of your back, but you do however, start to speed up your steps when he slowly begins to lower it down and closer to your butt. Heizou ever so slightly pouts in disappointment when his advancement is brushed off by you so easily, but he quickly covers it up with his usual cheeky grin, and doesn't bother to comment on his loss. You turn the corner, and he takes the chance to step try and get close— but it's either that you had failed to notice that how his body is closer to yours then it probably should have been, or that you just didn't care, he's just happy it's working. "Ouch, like an arrow straight through my poor little heart." He clutches his shirt to add onto his playful act, and he swears that if he squints his eyelids hard enough, he can see a ghost of a smile on your soft looking lips. 'Got her...'

"So..." you clear your throat, and quickly gaze at him from the corner of your eyes, which he is already staring back at. "Where are we really going?" You ask, and Heizou blinks, before tilting his head to the side like a confused puppy— and if he wasn't already so high up in his pride, you almost want to call him cute. "Oh? Whatever do you mean, my dear?" He places a finger on his chin and taps it in thought, and can almost feel himself swooning when you look away and playfully roll your eyes at him.

"Well... if i am correct, which i know that i most certainly am, the councillors office is—" you abruptly stop walking, and he does too, watching with an amused smirk as you turn around and point your index finger in the direction that you had both just walked through. "—that way, meaning we are going the completely wrong way— and considering that you haven't said a single thing about that..." you trail off, and he would applaud you for your observation skills, if not for his hands gripping onto the hem of his shirt out of excitement. 'A women after my own heart... how sexy.' He tries to quell the fast beating of his chest but good god, you really were just perfect, a perfect women, everything that he's ever needed and more... he's really not sure how much longer of a wait he can endure before it finally gets too much for him to handle. He can already feel his patience running thin with each tick of the clock it's that antagonising. He gulps, and tried to rid of the lump that formed in his throat. "...you perhaps have some... ulterior motives?" you finish off, and he hums in delight.

"Ah, like always, you're right on the money! That's why i like you so much." He snaps his fingers, and nods to himself, the vibrant maroon strands of his hair fall down over his eyes, which he quickly dismisses with his hand. "Oh! And would you look at that, it seems we have already reached our destination." His chromatic eyes, full of nothing but mischief, look somewhat unsettling as they almost bore into your own, and makes you debate with yourself wether you should really turn around to where he's pointing or not. But of course, it's like Heizou can sense your hesitation, so he ushers you to do so with the offer of that charming smile. He knows he's got you, as he watches as you sigh in defeat, and give in. It's a storage closet, one with an old looking sign that says 'Authorised personal only' plastered right on the door no less. You blink cautiously, and quickly turn around to question his motives, but he's quicker, and is already reaching for the handle and pushing open the door, grabbing your wrist and pulling you in with him. "Hey—!"

It kind of smells, probably from everything crowding the room and stopping the vents from allowing clean air to pass through, it's also very dusty, like it hasn't had a proper clean in maybe years— and over the sounds of you hacking away at your lungs after you accidentally inhaled some of the dust particles that spread around from your sudden movements, you can faintly hear how the creaky door closes shut behind you, fantastic, now it's dark too. It's quiet for a moment, too quiet that you wonder if Heizou is still even here with you— but as you're about to call out for him to confirm, something is suddenly grabbing ahold of your waist, and pulling in. You squeal in surprise, but that quickly turns into a grunt when your back comes in contact with something firm. "It's pitch black in here... we should stay close together." His tone of voice... your body trembles as little shivers crawl up your spine, it's so... unnerving, in a way. He follows his own advice of being close, and presses his chest more firmly against you— the buttons to his shirt almost dig into your skin, but right now, being too nervous to say anything, you just bear the slight discomfort it brings you. His hands, even though small and slim, make you feel almost tiny in his grasp as they wander over the flesh of your hips and around your body— until his arms are caging you in tightly, so tight that to even think about trying to slither out is almost an embarrassing thought. Because to put it simply— he has you trapped.

"Heizou... stop playing around already. Did you really pull me out of class to just mess with me? Let me go so i can do something productive with my time." It sounds mean, but you're on edge, and he knows that— probably by the slight quiver in your voice, one which you're not sure formed from either the tense and eerie atmosphere that has suddenly clouded over the room— or the way Heizou's warm breath skims over the skin of your neck from just how close he is. Either way, goosebumps start to arise on your arms and legs. "S-seriously... I have to study. Exams are coming up soon and— and I can't afford to be wasting my time right now..." he doesn't respond, but the way the side of his head drops onto your tense shoulder is almost a wordless answer enough. You listen anxiously as he takes in a drawn breath, and if it weren't for your current situation— you'd probably crack a joke about how it seems like he's sniffing you because of the way his nose presses up against your skin.

"...are you aware of just how aromatic you smell?" Ah... so he was sniffing you. You shift around uncomfortably at the thought, but he keeps you in place. His chest is starting to rise and fall faster then it probably should be, but so is yours— and you're one hundred and ten percent sure that he can hear the pulsating beat of your heart increasing with each passing second from the place which he stands (which is not very far away, whatsoever). Your aroma is so sweet, he thinks, and shamelessly stuffs his nose back into your neck, where he's able to breathe in your scent again at a more close up level. So sweet that, he swears his hips are moving on their own, as they softly jerk forward and grind against your ass. So sweet that he blames the little moans he lets fall past his lips, on you, and your intoxicating smell, that has his hands running down your stomach and towards your crotch out of his control. Really, he can't help it... honest. You can feel how his cock starts to erect in his pants, and press up against you— making you whine in embarrassment. "Ah— come on, Heizou, s-seriously. I'm telling you, you need to let me go before someone hears us..."

"Well, my—" he grunts, and teasingly trails his hand down further, until his fingers are met with the elastic band on your pants, which he wastes no time slipping past and gliding his hand lower, where he finally, after what felt like decades, acquires what he has been looking forward to this entire time... your pussy. "—my intuition is telling me that... you're all i'll ever need, baby." You had him waiting for so long... surely you wouldn't mind if he just, pushed aside your panties and... took what he wanted? Right?

[inthesleepydunes]

ppcu fic recs submitted by the community ♥️

hi everyone! thank you so much for the love on my initial post! i had so much fun putting this list together! i’ll be making more rec posts so my asks/dm’s are always open if you have anything you’d like to submit ♥️

Three’s Company by @pennyserenade - submitted by @whatsnewalycat

what aly said: Listen. I think about ex-husband dieter bravo all of the fucking time. This work especially is just… ugh. Amazing. Miranda’s prose is out of this world. It’s inspired and unique and idk I love her writing style so much. Also, obviously, this pairing is 😮‍💨🔥

Destiny and Deliverance by @mysterious-moonstruck-musings - submitted by @bitchwitch1981

what zelly said: It is so well written and detailed. Mysty put so much effort into research for the story and it 100% paid off. I have become so emotionally attached to the characters that I don't think I will ever let them go.

Someone’s Wife in the Boat of Someone’s Husband by @netherfeildren - submitted by @peeta-is-useless and @futuraa-free

what peeta-is-useless said: “Someone’s wife in the boat with someone’s husband” is such a beautiful fic that literally feels like you’re reading a novel. It completely draws you in and connects you with the characters. Basically, you come for spice and stay for a gorgeous plot😭

what bella said: This is probably one of the first Joel fics I ever read when i joined the fandom, it’s everything you want it to be: it will make you cry, it will make your heart melt and it will make you wish this version of Joel Miller was real. Plus Vic is an incredible writer all around.

Someone to be thankful for by @joelsgreys - submitted by @peeta-is-useless

what they said: Someone to be thankful for” is really a cute little one shot for Thanksgiving that captures family trauma and throws in a side of finding love and healing. Again, gorgeous story by an amazing writer.

Good to Me by @tonysopranosrobe/swiftispunk13 on ao3 - submitted by @peeta-is-useless

what they said: “Good to me” is one I found quite a while ago and I thought that I wouldn’t be into the plot but then I started reading just because and swiftispunk trapped me into this alt universe, porn with feelings goodness. I’ve been so in love with many of their fics though.

Red Light by @kiwisbell on ao3 - submitted by @peeta-is-useless

what they said: Red Light” is not something I would normally read at all. I’m not usually here for the dark stuff… however this was so good and you really get into the head of someone who thinks he’s doing the right thing- also it’s really fucking hot.

Soft & Sweet + Sugar & Spice by @cavillscurls - submitted by @peeta-is-useless

Soft & Sweet” and “Sugar & Spice” are so lovely. I don’t even have that much to say- they really are the definition of what I look for when I want Jackson Joel🖤 fluff, spice, a little angst and it’s tied up in a little bow.

A Lover’s Pinch by @hier--soir - submitted by @peeta-is-useless

what they said: “A lover’s pinch” is one I can never stray far from. I always find myself coming back because it also reads like the most beautiful novel. Just the progression and spice to feelings ratio- aghhhh. Like the perfect fic.

Gravity by @insomniamamma - submitted by @fromthedeskoftheraven

what raven said: She's a lovely person, brilliant wordsmith, and master of writing Ezra and the Prospect universe, and I think everyone needs to read her work (and whatever you do, do not miss her Prickle'verse fics, because they are sublime) 💖

Dark Shades of Innocence Lost by @mermaidgirl30 - self submission

what jamie said: it’s just my favorite that I’ve written and would love to spread the love to others who might not have gotten the chance to read or see it ☺️

[justanoval]

Life Updates

Hey Tumblr gang!

If you've noticed I've been active less on platforms like Patreon, Twitch, Discord, and even a little less frequent with my YouTube uploads, this post will address that.

The biggest reason is that I simply do not have enough energy to delegate anymore. With my health issues progressing, I've been slowly losing my energy to give out to different areas, and I've had to decrease my focus.

My main focuses are now animations, music, merchandise, and Creeper County.

That's the jist. If you want more specifics, you can keep reading further.

Twitch

I really really struggle to have any energy for streaming. I can't keep up the hype and I feel like I am not doing anything by just being live. I want to have the freedom to do other things whenever I want, and I don't want to feel like I am being judged with every creative decision I make. A few decisions of mine revolving around how I built my audience is what lead me here, so while there's ways I can see myself coming back to Twitch, I just don't have the energy for it at the moment.

Discord

Discord was my biggest strategy to help grow my Twitch channel--and it worked fantastically. But now that I'm inactive on Twitch, I've decided to delegate the energy used on Discord for something else.

I don't expect myself to like, delete my Discord, but it's just something I am fine with being there primarily for announcements right now.

I'm focusing more on creating a smaller, more intimate community with Creeper County. This is what I've always wanted in building a community.

Patreon

I've made an announcement there already if you're interested in reading. The jist is that it isn't a reliable income source for me to dedicate that much time to it. It's just going to sorta stay as a donation platform for the time being. Not that that's bad (it's what most people tend to do), but I think it's still reasonable for me to make clear.

YouTube

I wouldn't say I'm too inactive here, I just don't upload as often. It's like, as opposed to once every 4-7 days, it's once every 7-10 days maybe now.

Big reason here is, of course the energy, but also I'm just exploring many different art forms right now. Had a dip in motivation with main channel animations and needed to figure out why. For the most part, I have figured out why, but there's still some direction I need to find.

Though you can look forward to a shrimp miku video coming soon.

Postmortem in Nuuspace

This isn't one I have really been inactive in, since I never promised an activity level. But still figured I can address that I am planning out a much larger story that will be based in this universe, which is why my current writing rhythm will be quite sporadic.

Not to say this will ever be finished, or published, or whatever (it might idk), but it's just what I am doing.

I know I didn't have to make this post, but it gives me some closure! I didn't want to leave anyone in the dark, and this way I know that I haven't (unless people don't read this, but that ain't on me).

In the future, I honestly expect that most of my energy will come down to video game development. It's like, all of these little things I am doing will just point towards one massive thing. And given my experience with Godot engine, making music, writing, 3d art, pixel art, animation... you see where this is going.

So, stay tuned.

[cecilysass]

Hello! You once told me that I could always ask you for fic recs so here I am! I’ve only seen up to S2E17 so idk if you have anything that doesn’t deal too heavily after that. Minor spoilers/references are okay, just nothing major. I’m also not a smut person generally. If you can’t think of anything that fits those criteria, feel free to ignore this! I hope you have a lovely day:)

Okay, I am SO EXCITED about this question, but also nervous, because I don’t want to accidentally include something that will spoil you. I am going to throw a few recs out, and maybe others will think of more?

Universal Invariants by syntax6 This is so, so good. It’s a classic. A novel-length casefile, plus an AU riff on season 1 and 2 through the abduction arc, so I think you are entirely good with spoilers. The big change from canon is that Scully is still with her boyfriend, Ethan. (If you don't know Ethan, he is a character that was originally in the Pilot but cut from the actual show.) There are... other changes from canon, but you’ll see. There's some smut, but it’s not the focus. And there's a sequel to this, too, which you will definitely eventually want to read, but you're going to have to finish season 5 first.

the progression (and regression) of first names by skuls Scully works through some early identity issues in relation to Mulder. This author (skuls) is always delightful, always recommended.

Center Mass by kateyes224 This fic provides a painful, in character explanation for what might have happened between them after the Pilot that could have resulted in so much subsequent slow burn. Hot and angsty, but not really smutty.

Early On by sunflowerseedsandscience This is also an AU season 1 with Ethan, but this one is more focused on Scully slowly feeling her attention stray from Ethan as her relationship with Mulder develops. It's a series with ten (short) parts. It's very engaging. There are some smutty parts.

Eight Things That Could Have Happened In Oregon by Stephen Greenwood No spoilers here, only things that didn't happen but might sound like spoilers. This is wistful, a little sad, beautiful, odd. The First Year by mldrgrl Their first New Year's Eve, not long after the Pilot. I love the hesitant vibe here.

Still Feeling My Father Ascend - cecily_sass This is my own fic, so I am being kind of a self promoter recommending it to you. But it’s a Beyond the Sea post ep, and I know my own work pretty well lol, so I know there’s no later spoilers, or only really minor things that won’t be meaningful until later. It was written for a prompt for an early season fic exchange.

And I'm not going to recommend it exactly, but I do want to mention that one of the first works of XF fanfic was actually written in 1993 and published online in 1994, so during season one. It's called The Sound of Windchimes by Sarah Stegall. It's got some serious CW (noncon) and some pretty wild content (I've read it), but if you're brave or curious and interested in fan history, you can check it out. Here's the fanlore page, which includes links.

***

Obviously I can come up with SO MANY MORE fics as you get further along. So just let me know. I would say most XF fic is probably written about seasons 5 / 6 / 7 for whatever reason, so once you're in that range, everyone can give you tons. Anyone have any other favorite early season fic they can recommend? It's sometimes tricky because sometimes early MSR has later details embedded in it...

[ciaossu-imagines]

Idk if you ever had this quesrion but---

The vongola guardians and any additional characters you want : ... How do they grief? After a small thing that happened, like loosing a precious item, then maybe something more upsetting like breaking up after a long time of being with someone up to actually losing a person to death. How do they cope? How do they handle life from then on out?

You dont have to answer but i thought this might be interesting to ponder

I don’t think I’ve ever had this question! It’s a little surprising, because it is such a really interesting, thought-provoking request! Thank you so much for sending it in and I hope I’ve done such an intriguing concept justice in my answers, that everything feels organic to the characters, and most importantly, that you lovelies all enjoy the headcanons 😊 Because this ended up being so long, I do need to make it into separate posts for Tumblr to allow me to post it, so the question will be answered along multiple days. And honestly, since this took me nearly four hours to answer and edit, I kind of like being able to get multiple queued posts for it, sorry!

Tsuna

Tsuna is someone who is actually a little prone to grief. His emotions tend to run deep, he gets attached to things and people pretty easily, and it hits him hard when things end, get lost, or stop being the same. While he knows change can be a positive thing, sees how change has helped his life be better, major changes will affect him emotionally quite badly, especially if that change is one that he did not want.

He’s not always the best at figuring out how to handle his emotions, even the positive ones, and that is something that is even harder for him to do when the emotions become larger and more profound. He struggles to wrap his head around feelings of grief and loss, what to do with those emotions, or how to properly move on from them. He finds it hard to start properly grieving. He doesn’t really know how to. He doesn’t let it be instinctual – he gets caught up in feeling like he should be grieving in this or that way and because of this, he often finds that his grief lasts longer, or that he feels like he’s got over something that made him grieve, only to find himself taking steps backwards and getting caught up in the grief again. He can sometimes take the view that grief is something that has all these properly laid-out steps and actions that you need to progress through to get completely cured of that grief, instead of something that is very personal and individual.

Now, Tsuna is someone who will definitely feel grief over small things. He does place sentimental value on objects. He’s someone who really does treasure things that were given to him by the people in his life. We see this in the charm from Kyoko that Tsuna gets really anxious about misplacing in canon. I think it’s this way for a lot of things – the first real birthday gift that Lambo and I-Pin got him with their allowance money or his favourite hoodie, the one his mother went out of her way to buy, even though it was stupidly expensive, just because he’d mentioned how badly he wanted it. I have always had this headcanon that Tsuna also collects pictures of him and the other Guardians and his other friends through the years and that those mean the world to him. He’ll cherish his first apartment.

When Tsuna loses one of those sentimental objects, he gets really upset about it. He gets anxious, unhappy, and he tends to immediately feel a lot of guilt about it. He defaults to blaming himself for whatever happened to those objects – he didn’t take good enough care of it obviously, it’s his fault for losing it, he really is no good. He takes losing something that was given to him really hard and he’ll drive himself a little crazy looking for it. He feels so bad about losing that thing and he fully expects whoever gave it to him to get really upset at him for misplacing it if he cannot find it. He is just that angry and upset at himself, after all.

An avid gamer, someone who loves reading manga, and someone who really gets into the tv shows he loves, Tsuna forms connections with fictional characters pretty easily. When his favourite characters die, he definitely gets sad and upset about it. He won’t cry about these little moments of grief, but he’ll feel crummy about it for several days. He’ll vent about it to friends and he’ll be upset. He might even stop watching the show or playing the game, feeling that everything’s been ruined about it now that it’s made him feel that emotional reaction.

For small things that make him grieve, like growing out of a favourite piece of clothing, leaving his house for the first time to live on his own or for moving on from his first adult apartment, the moments will be very bittersweet. On one hand, he knows that all life chapters have to end and that there are still many beautiful things to come, but at the same time, he finds himself quite sad. He finds himself remembering every single good moment spent in that thing or that place and he does get glassy eyed. He really relies on his friends and loved ones at these times to keep him positive and excited about the things to come, because without that, he could find himself wallowing in those sad moments instead of embracing the future.

Things that hit harder, that are more serious grief-inducing moments, hit Tsuna hard. To use the example of a break-up, Tsuna is really going to feel miserable. He’s really sad about everything and he definitely does cry about it, when he’s alone or at least thinks he is. He doesn’t want anyone else to catch him crying like a baby because of something like that, but at the same time, he can’t keep himself from needing that cry. Everything just feels bad and hopeless and like it will never be happy again.

A running theme, I think Tsuna’s first instinct, in the face of this kind of grief, is again to blame himself for whatever caused that grief. Even if it logically doesn’t make sense, even if others assure him that it wasn’t his fault, he still blames himself. He feels this distinct amount of guilt and pain about it. He makes himself shoulder all the blame for the situation, convinces himself that all the pain he’s feeling is because he failed in some way. He just wasn’t good enough to stop this from happening. There must have been something he did or something he didn’t do that caused this.

It isn’t a feeling that will just go away. There isn’t going to be a day when Tsuna just wakes up and has an epiphany that, no, this wasn’t my fault. I did everything I could. This person leaving me was on them and not on me. That’s not something that will happen to him. That grief will always be there in his brain, and he will always blame himself for the situation that caused the grief. It’s just that, with time, Tsuna will be able to push that grief and blame out of focus. He’ll be able to start coping with it, in his own way, and he’ll start being able to tune it out a little. He’ll go back to being able to live his life, though he won’t live it ever quite the same again. His life, his choices, his attitudes on things will change, even if they change by such a small degree that it’s barely noticeable to anyone besides Tsuna and those who know him best. He’ll learn to not think about the grief as much, with it really only popping up every now and then, when he’ll feel those emotions again just as strong as the day it happened. When he does feel those emotions, over and over again, he becomes better at pushing them away though instead of focusing them, with each time that wound is reopened.

Surprise, surprise, but that habit of blaming himself for situations that make him grief is also very much carried over to the large moments of grief. Those around him dying and leaving him behind makes him not only unbearably sad, but those moments fill him with so much anxiety, guilt, and regret that it’s almost unbearable. By the time those moments start happening, Tsuna has already been trained on how to continue on in his duties, despite the overwhelming waves of emotions that are washing over him, and he does his best for those left behind with him. Honestly, if it wasn’t for that act of needing to be there for those others left behind, if it wasn’t for needing to be strong for them, Tsuna would probably crumble a little in the wake of that amount of grief. He kind of does appreciate having them there, appreciate having something to concentrate on besides his grief, at moments. At other times, he feels burdened by them, though he would never admit it out loud, and feels resentful for not being able to have the choice to wall himself off from everyone and just let the grief run its course.

Someone he loves dying…it’s his fault, obviously. It’s because he either wasn’t strong enough to save them or because he exposed them to danger because of the life he was forced into. In the case of the person dying in a way that could not conceivably be his fault, such as dying from old age, it’s still his fault. It’s his fault he hadn’t expressed more how much he loved and cared about them. It’s his fault he didn’t thank them more for all the things they did for him. It’s his fault for not making every single second they were alive count – how many hours did he waste, for example, he would think when Iemitsu died, hating or being resentful towards his father? How long did he hold out on having any kind of relationship with his father? How many years were wasted in bitterness and hurt feelings instead of letting his father connect with him? There’s all these regrets, all these ‘what-ifs’ in the face of grief and they all feel like they’re about to drown Tsuna in their heaviness.

Much like with the smaller grieving, it’s not so much that Tsuna will come to grips with these thoughts. It’s not that he’ll forgive himself, not entirely. It’s more that, with time and with life continuing to go on, with the expectations on him to keep soldiering on, he learns to live without that person’s presence in his life. He learns to keep going. He learns to find happy moments again that aren’t overshadowed by thoughts of the person. He learns to tuck that person into his heart and his mind. He learns how to come out of the grief still intact, though changed forever by his regrets and sadness. There will be days, months, years he can go without thinking of them, but he’ll still have days, even years after that person’s death, where something will trigger that latent grief he hangs onto inside, and he’ll find himself needing to hide away and cry all over again.

[suusoh]

Something something Johan slowly warming up to sex because of the implications of entering you something something bodies merging something something the last frontier of physical intimacy even if it doesn’t do much for him physically initially.

Words are not my forte but like before he figures out he enjoys putting his pp in you it might appeal to him just for the connotations of “entering” the person he loves/wants to possess. And then maybe he figures out he enjoys the physical sensation as well.

I imagine this slow progression from your post about the reader getting horny to him losing his shit about getting horny then once he’s done freaking out he still hates the fact that he’s horny. But the unexpected erections allow a very small little idea about fucking you, which he ignores for a while. But then the idea of that makes him consider the act of penetration and the implications, maybe reading/consuming content about it which describes its appeal. And little by little romanticizing it not in the normal way someone would, but in the “i have access to every part of you, every crevice” “this is as close as we can physically get” way idk if you get what i mean but. While the horror of being horny doesn’t go away, he gets a little bit, slowly, tempted to try it.

Looking at it not through the lens of pleasure, but his weird little tendency to blur the lines between himself and the people he loves which he (obviously) already does in terms of identity, but wow with you (and the power of his new dick-hardening ability haha kill me) he can do it physically. It’s not the same as the “we’re literally the same person” thing but there’s smth there idkkk i can’t describe my thoughts well. Anyway that way he can justify consider the act without admitting the extent of his humanity or stuff.

uh-huh! Once he gets over his somewhat aversion to it, and once he's accepted his attraction with you mentally, emotionally, sexually, and finally— physical manifestations of those attractions (as much as he loathes the fact that he's experiencing it) he'd still be interested, with feeling this for the first time with you. I think after a loooooooooooooonnnggg long long long while of finally getting over his view, he'd just let his sexual frustration boil over and finally go to you and be like "please help me with this condition of mine". (said condition just being his pp going hard, but johan treats it like it's some disease lmao).

I think a part of him is like still reeling and hating himself for letting himself get this like.... low?? I don't want to say low but like, it's like definitely a fall from grace from his perfect, non-human, "untouchable being" state.

But another part is overwhelmed and overheating and melting in the inside from just how... how good this feels. It feels so good, too good. it makes him feel... real again for some reason. Like everything around him, your body, the air, the room, the whole world is suddenly so tangible, and it's like he's seeing how beautiful you are to him all over again, and shit he should be thankful— wait why is he feeling thankful? whatever, he is thankful that he's here with you and you're here with him and he's doing this human experience with you, and holy shit holy shit holy shitshit shit shit is it supposed to feel this good? God.... if this is what being human feels like, he doesn't think he could ever return to being a nameless monster again.

[specialagentartemis]

the becky chambers discussion/roasting is reminding me that i read several of the wayfarers novels, and liked them all alright, but i can't think of a single one where i found the ending satisfying. and in retrospect, you're right, it's a lot of the same thing over and over again

the one that's sticking in my brain at the moment is whichever one had that alien with the human boyfriend, which was a big taboo i think, who was on her way to see him when she hit a stage of fertility that's really rare in her alien biology, and would culturally normally involve going off and having some alien eggs or whatever before this brief period ended

and this was portrayed as like, a positive and fulfilling experience, not a coercive one or anything, but it was culturally Expected, and in the end she decided to go hang out with her human boyfriend instead even if that meant missing the fertility cycle and forgoing this big cultural expectation

and idk i think the point it was trying to make was about bodily autonomy, which is great, but i found the way it was written deeply unsatisfying, and looking at it now it feels like that same Dex and Mosscap attitude where Simply Not Feeling Like It is a reason to ignore all social obligations. like not that it was a bad decision for the character, but i simply did not feel like I was emotionally sold on why she didn't want to. "i just don't feel like it" doesn't seem like a big enough reason to ignore this big milestone in your culture you know

god this ask is so long and should probably have been a reblog of one of your posts or something. sorry lol

Hah no this is interesting, and I enjoy the book discussions!

Hmm I remember this character, but I don’t remember this plot point… was it in the most recent Wayfarers book? I never actually read it.

But, yeah, I see what you mean. There is power in exerting your autonomy, but making big life decisions mostly just because [shrug] you want to can feel… weak. From this description of this plot thread, it also feels like it reinforces what I felt about Chambers writing all her characters, alien or robot or spacefuture human, like suburban Californians—that is, with logic, values, and decisions that feel like they belong to a liberal, middle-class, urban-but-not-in-the-middle-of-a-city, white woman. None of those are meant as pejoratives, I want to be clear—by liberal I don’t mean it as an insult, I mean, with values of open-mindedness and progressive ideals, and in this case in a particularly suburban American way. This feels like a story about reproductive autonomy from such a perspective, with the values of someone who is a middle-class white woman in a liberal area of the US and this is what reproductive/bodily autonomy looks like—as opposed to getting in the head of an alien in the spacefuture and imagining what different cultural values might look like and how they might influence that character’s feelings and way of conceptualizing such a decision, even if that’s the choice she ultimately does make for herself. Y’know?

[aquickstart]

pls may i have some saltburn takes. i saw u liked my post abt oliver never having read the reading list and it made me giggle.

OH YES DUDE oh i Loved that post because it brings up actually something that for some reason i haven't seen discussed much. oliver's unreliable narration.

i have a brilliant, i think, genius four-question plan for making people understand saltburn, and it has worked before and i will maybe elaborate on it, but not right now. right now i'll talk about one of the questions.

who is oliver telling this story to, and why?

we've established that he's an unreliable narrator at least because it's the logical conclusion for a movie shot in a way that opens and closes with his narrative. but what does oliver being untruthful actually mean for what we know about anything and everything that happened. have you ever obsessed over this particular question. well. i have.

my hot take, first of all, is that oliver is not that smart. he's clever, but the point of the movie is that he's caught up in and driven by desire; desire, pointedly, in the moment, merging desire, adapting to circumstance and leading him on. his want is not concrete from the beginning. his want is insatiable hunger that grows.

so, okay, from the top. the whole meet-cute with felix? because of a punctured tire? eh. idk if that's true. the money thing at the bar, pretending to not have any while he actually did? eh, perhaps. chronologically he then lies to felix about his dad, and this is big, this is deliberate, this is what ties felix to him for good.

what if the first two instances were coincidences? like, felix genuinely in trouble then, oliver genuinely out of cash. makes sense to become attached and actually do something, something impulsive, drastic, when felix seems to be drifting away, and lie about his dad.

interjection: you might be saying, nadia, he lied about his family from the get-go. well of course. i didn't say he's not smart enough to clock what image of a damsel in distress felix would gobble up. i'm saying he didn't do it for the long game, because there was no long game to speak of, as narrator-oliver would have you believe. i think he wanted felix so badly in that moment of several months in oxford, i think he was so blinded that he would've said anything. and he did.

now, i've briefly talked about oliver's feelings about the invitation to saltburn, and i think this is very important here. in the moment, he couldn't possibly know what exactly this invitation could mean, in the long run, only that it is definitely the next step in progression of desire for felix. present-day oliver interjection, and i believed him, after felix said he could leave anytime, i read as a slip up, an admission that oliver didn't plan shit, or at least from the beginning he didn't. it lured him in as soon as he got there, gothic house driving mad-style. he held on to a dream of something elusive (felix as a friend? lover? forever-partner in whatever capacity? i want him so bad i don't care what he is as long as he's there? please? please?).

the other obvious hole to poke at is in the end. venetia very conveniently takes the razors he places for her, and while sure, it could be read as him just hinting at how he conveniently read her fragile state and took advantage of it, i don't buy it. (i'm honestly even tempted to suggest he met elspeth on accident, to then spin a pretty story for his own sake, but him keeping tabs on the surviving cattons all those years tracks with what we know about obsessive oliver; he's definitely known about her flat for a while.)

but those are all minor stuff. i get completely if you think i'm reading too much into it and this is all just a headcanon after all, to be fair. BUT. but.

my second big take is that oliver was/is madly in love with felix. i know, shocking. but you have probably seen people say he wasn't. i will elaborate.

i wasn't in love with him. i loved him. i hated him. what does this sound like. have you ever had a friend come to you after a breakup fuming and telling you how they'll never end up with this asshole for sure and then get back together with him and then break up and say the same thing again.

i loved him, but i wasn't in love with him. i know everyone thought i was, but i wasn't. have you never told anyone something of the sort, specifically the last part, to emphasize just how it's everyone around you that's kinda hung up on whatever it is, and you've moved way past it, actually. have you never told yourself that.

i have. i know many other people who have, too. so, who is oliver telling this story to, and why? there's no one but dead elspeth in front of him. there's no one but himself. fun fact: each time you recall an event, it distorts under the influence of the mix of past and present emotions. each time you recall, you mold memory (source, e.g., x). the way i personally see it, oliver, for whatever reason, retells the story in order to solidify his own memory of it in the way that he wants to remember it. whatever he says, this is his final word, and this is his final truth.

this is also why details slip through, like my beloved i believed him, like the emotional i hated him growing into self-convincing, misleadingly dismissive, definitely unsure i hated him by the end. those are the true emotions that he recalls, those are the times that are hard to rewrite, for whatever reason.

of course, he hated them all. but before that, he loved felix to the point of blindly following where felix's desire led oliver, at least the way oliver perceived felix's desire. it failed, crucially, when felix's desire brought them to the center of the labyrinth, where oliver could not be the desired anymore.

my third hot take in connection to this is that oliver did not know he would kill felix until the very night he did it. he didn't know it, i think, until the last hour, until felix refused to reconcile completely, until he made his blood run cold. i also briefly mention it here, specifically how farleigh is tragically connected to felix's death, in my opinion. this tracks with, again, my strong belief that oliver lies, lies and lies throughout this whole story about wanting to take everything from felix from the beginning; no, he fucking didn't. he wanted felix. he wanted felix to be his. that was number one priority. he wanted felix and whatever else came with it, undoubtedly, but not the other way around.

paradoxically, he also wanted to be felix; he wanted to be him and be with him just as us tumblr people can often relate and the tragedy is that you always have to choose. felix pushed him away, so there was no other choice but to take what was left of felix that oliver could take. hence the clothes wearing, the table scene talk, the refusal to leave.

felix chose not to choose oliver, so oliver became felix. it's his fault. felix promised oliver could leave. felix left instead. what was oliver to do.

but to your point about the books, i think it could be either way, actually. i think he could have lied about it because technically that's also in character for him, he was performing for an audience of his tutor. but i also think that he was, genuinely, a nerd before he came to oxford, and he didn't, and still doesn't, have any friends, and he hates his sisters and his mother and is miserable. he's the perfect profile of someone who'd read king james' bible over the summer, and then some, imma be honest.

so, yes. i think oliver lies about most things in saltburn and i think he's pathetic, lost, confused, grieving, angry, horny, down bad and in denial. and i fucking love him. i so fuckin do.

[horizon-verizon]

Phoebe Campbell saying about Baela and Rhaena “There’s a little bit of tension because of their separate upbringings, Baela was raised with grandma & grandpa, Rhaena by stepmom and half siblings. Rhaena feels quite a lot of resentment there.”

So... that garbage fanfic wants to put the dragon twins against each other ?? They aren’t Arya and Sansa, Baela and Rhaena actually love each other, and unlike Sansa, Baela never bullied her sister. And why would Rhaena resent the fact that she had to live with her stepmom and half siblings ??

This is if--and only IF--Phoebe is correct in how the show will decide to characterize Rhaena, and since they literally acted the character, shot all the scenes, and haven't gone on record with bad takes, I think we don't have much a reason to suspect otherwise.

Link to the article that came out today and what anon refers to:

BranwynHlfwitch over at Twitter has a whole thread pointing out other stuff how Ryan Condal has never had a great grasp on the plot or really of history & historians.

I think that part of it is they are trying to develop these characters for their larger roles they're planning during the Dance & the way they decided to go about that is to create conflict b/t the fan fav sisters. And I think they might try to to argue or imply that she is resentful bc of not just second-son syndrome, but basically Baela was picked by their grandparents to be closer and let Rhaena be. Why not both of them, if they are already seeming to break tradition? It will likely folow the theme of silent rejection the show allows the audience to quickly assume from episode 6, where Rhaena bemoans Daemon ignoring her bc of her not hatching an egg...which I already talked about.

Baela--for a very dumb reason--becomes the "ward" of the Velaryons & Rhaenys wants Corlys to name Baela as his heir...presumably without consulting Daemon, the girl's father or Viserys, the head of the house Baela is actually a part of and who would determine how his house's possible heirs inherit what over other candidates...bc Baela & Rhaena are both technically still in line for the throne though they aren't titled as princesses. Just way down and the claims would get stronger the more people before them die...which we already see in the bk.

Anyway, Baela is seemingly older than Rhaena instead of being her twin as by canon; she has a dragon where Rhaena does not; she is, bc she is older, taken to Driftmark to learn the ways of a leader as if she might become the head of a house or whatever even though we also know that Corlys has definitely not named her his heir by his & Rhaenys' conversation in the last episode (so for 6 years why is Baela there without being named when they could just visit each other--her and Rhaenys--by ship and dragonback [pic below] idk, the spectacle of it?).

And while Rhaena loved her dad, loved her stepsiblings/1st cousins-once-removed & I believe that Rhaenyra was a great stepmother to her, because the show did not show us their lives, they will take advantage of that and present us with a lot of stuff like this--breaking lore and going along with the breakage to build their own tale but also sometimes not showing a logical progression from that point of breakage [again, lok to the link abt cradle-bonding].

Yes, there's the argument that Daemon is merely worried over Rhaena's being singled put and left out or belittled, sidelined, for not having a dragon as he felt being a second son/child even with his dragon...but again, look to my post about cradle-bonds and the history of dragon bonds he supposedly knows and it becomes still dumb when he still ends up doing the very thing he's supposed to have feared for his daughter, to her.

Would it have helped if the writers actually developed these people's lives before the Dance and actually think through their plot decisions if they planned to make Rhaena-Daemon's deal this, absolutely! But we have what we have.

Show!Rhaena could come to just resent her sister for all this perceived favoritism.

I may be wrong, who knows.

[hippielittlemetalhead]

As I finish up the latest installment of the 'Hop adopts Steve but make it sad' fic thing I have going I find myself making progress on my fics on AO3 under a different name. Haven't posted the latest chapters yet but I'm working through whatever blocks I had on those fics and should update soon.

I'm considering changing my username there to match this one and properly cross posting works on Tumblr and AO3 if people would be interested in that?

Idk just a thought, let me know what you think. I have a Spot-centric Sparah fic that mixes the movie, stage show and some of the actual history. A slowburn Sterek fic with Alpha!Derek and 'Genius Locai'Stiles. And a couple others I have less of an idea for but I might continue.

[peoples-problem]

Little fic idea that I had yesterday

Idk how people do this but I have seen a lot of people sharing their fics and I wanted to post this idea somewhere bc it might end in nothing

Chimney is a small director that starts from the bottom: some little movies that get as much attention as a family video of a vacation and some that maybe get played on an unknown channel at the worst rating times, but he takes it all as learning and slowly ascending towards something bigger. He isn't expecting to get to the big screen or get an academy award but every time he catches a project of his on tv he can feel like he did something and that's enough for him. This changes, somehow, and it's neither more nor less than thanks to a elderly woman that enjoys her time doing sapping on between channels and finds his tv show and gets so passionate about it that starts recommending it to her friends, another group of elderly women that, statistically, shouldn't do much, until one of the ears that this show lands on is the mother of a very well known online platform for cinema, who, for some reason, decides to give the small little show a shot and ends up as caught up as the rest of the chain that took the rumor of a good program to him. A week later, he contracts the director and offers to upload the entirety of the show in his platform and things escalate from there

Buck is no big actor, he isn't even sure if he wanted to be one before his friend told him he was a natural while reading out loud the new script of his new idea ("I just feel like something is missing, I need a new perspective, read it for me please" he had asked demanded and Buck, like the good friend he was, helped him to get out of this "art block". Apparently, what was missing was himself) but humored him by attending to some auditions with other people and suddenly he was placed as the star of this TV show. It's easy, for him, to get into his character's skin, most of the things he comes through and the stuff that isn't he can figure it out, until, after a whole season of no-love-interest for his character, Chimney decides that it's time to give him exactly that (the renewal for the second season comes with the big platform and a new and expanding viewership that is begging to get the character in love with someone and so they are willing to comply) and there the slight problem that Buck has never been in love with anyone. He doesn't know how it feels, he can't relate to what other people say it feels and every time he tries to imitate what he does see Chimney cuts him out telling him that a plant could have better chemistry with his costar (And, honestly, Abby is great and everything but she's definitely not his type and even if she is good in her acting her tips aren't working for him) than him. Or, at least, that's how it goes until he meets Eddie and starts thinking of him while acting and somehow Chimney complains a lot less about his falling-in-love interpretation

Eddie is a normal guy (maybe I can maintain Eddie's cannon story) who has a son with a dream that he is going to be damned if he can't help come true. Fame wasn't anything that he ever pursued, not even thought about paying attention to, but then he is telling his son that even with his disability he is going to be able to get to be whatever he wants to be, because it might be harder but never impossible, and his son looks at him in the eyes and says that he wants to be an actor and who is him to stop him? He would never ever think about it. So, he does what he supposes is the only thing he can do: support him. First, he takes him to some acting classes, try out if he really likes it and improve himself; after their first little show (a small thing in the local theater to show their progress at the end of their course) Christopher looks at him with stars in his eyes and tells him with all the conviction in the world "Dad, I really want to do this for a living" and, again, Eddie couldn't even think in telling him no. He takes him to every audition he can find and, even though they get very few callbacks, he ends up in some small ads and shorts. It's in one of those that he meets Chimney. It was probably the worst audition they ever had gone to, it wasn't even a big production and they were really specific with the kid they were looking for: Curly blond, 8 to 12 years old, male. Christopher met all the requirements so, maybe, the problem started with his predisposition and high hopes about getting the role but the real punch in the gut was the straightforward disregard he got the second he entered the audition room, one of the auditioners telling him that they were looking for "normal kids" and asking them to retreat immediately, and Eddie kind of lost it. He asked Christopher to wait outside, praying to all gods that he could be able to cheer him up later with the promise that this people didn't know what they were missing or something, and then proceeded to rant all over the auditioners team, getting even close to punch one of them when they kept insisting that his kid's CP was a telling sign that they should be looking elsewhere for a career, when he managed to barely contain himself and leave the room before security was called (this place was one of the most common places for auditions and he would never forgive himself if they get banned and miss any opportunity they can get because of his anger issues) when he come across this Asian man that was trying to calm his son down ("Are you waiting for your dad to come out of an audition? He sounds really passionate, that's usually really good for an actor, it's hard to pretend to be this infuriated" he was saying. "Nah, dad can't act to save his life, he is really bad at lying, I think he is actually really mad because they didn't let me audition" Christopher answered with a small laugh. "Wait, you are the star here? That's great! I'm actually looking for auditions for a kid for my show right now, would you like to give it a shot?")

Christopher gets the role as Buck's character's son. He is adopted on the first episode of the second season of the show, when Buck's character had ended in good terms for the first season (Chimney wanted to end it with a happy ending, just in case it didn't get renewed) and this new acquisition is so game changing that there's a lot to explore there. It helps that Christopher is still a little shy with Buck because both their characters and themselves can grow together as the filming goes on just like their fictional bond does, but by the time they are comfortable with each other they still have a few more episodes of the season and Chimney really wants Buck to get at least a love interest, someone that he can start trying to fit in his new family dynamic of being a single father and leave it a little open to see if it gets the public attention and be able to expand it in another season (and the possibilities of having another renewal are way higher now, with all the popularity they are gaining) but then they have this scene that Buck should "fall in love at first sight" (or at least start getting some interest in a romantic life) with someone and they get stuck. They do so many takes that the sun goes down and, before they notice, Eddie arrives to take Christopher home for the night (he started leaving his son there after the first few weeks of filming, needing to go to work and the team having won his trust with his kid) when they still needed to finish a scene with him ("Sorry, that's on me" Buck jumped even before Eddie could ask for the reason, not wanting him to be mad at Chimney for something that was definitely his fault). At the next day, the story repeats itself a little and when Buck loses count of how many takes they were on, he starts thinking about how Eddie would be upset about not being able to take his son with him because it ended up being too late for them again and, for some reason, Chim says that there's some improvement for the first time after that though. He then starts spending time with Eddie, offering to take Christopher home after recording so he doesn't have to get out of his way to pick him up ("Your house is just a step away from mine anyway, I have to pass close there already, it's not that big of a deal" Buck insisted although he never even know where they lived. Turns out that it was not, in fact, even close to his apartment, but he didn't mind taking the kid there anyway) or because it worked as character study (it was probably the dumbest excuse Buck has ever said but Eddie smiled at him and accepted the invite to take Buck and Christopher's day off playing videogames on him apartment anyway ("it would be weird to invite just Chris so of course you can tag on" Buck joked, knowing full well that he also wanted to spend time with Eddie, Christopher just cheered at the idea). Turns out, his "character study" did work because, not only he learned from Eddie himself how to act like a better fictional dad but he also explored his feelings towards the guy. Admitting that he fell in love with him so fast was a little bit humiliating but adding up to the fact that he was using him to become better at acting was even worse so he kept it all as a secret, especially if one truth came with the other.

Before anyone can notice, Buck is acting like an actual dad for Christopher (mainly when Eddie is not there, like informing the team that Chris had exams and to let him take a few days off to study, keeping snacks around all the time and checking up on him whenever he is free; but also off set, like helping with a school project that apparently covers something he investigated about, going to movie nights and cooking dinner for them in the most domestic thing he has ever experienced, getting groceries and taking or picking him up from school sometimes) and Eddie can't even be mad at him when he just fits so perfectly there, with them, and he is the first person that doesn't make him feel bad when asking for help. When the season is done recording and the excuse of "character study" gets paused until they get (or not, and that actually sound more like a breakup than it should) their renewal, Eddie realizes that he doesn't want Buck away and, suddenly, the thing between them feels too much like love ("Look, I don't know what you did here but I can't even imagine my life without you anymore and it's scary because you are the first person that I feel actually terrified of losing, like you are it for me, like I need you to have house arrest in my house" He said, still not realizing how much of a love confession that sound like "I think I wouldn't mind to be house arrested in your house" Buck said, smiling brightly, and kissing him to seal the deal. A kiss that just sounds too much like "oh, that makes sense" into Eddie's head, like a "It looks like I'm in love with you") 

"So, this show has a lot of new actors, your star is on his first acting job even, where do you even get them from?" An interviewer asked Chimney in the premier of the first episode of the second season. "Well, it's a running joke that I just find actors at the side of the road and adopt them to work for me, I met Buck because he is my girlfriend's brother and he was just visiting while I was in the middle of an art block, Chris I found him in a random hallway auditioning for another show and asked him to audition for me instead, then Abby was on one of this fast food places that I can't mention the brand of reading some scripts when I approached her like 'Hey, you an actress? Do you mind if I give you a script and a contact card?' and then she called me back to get an audition; basically everyone I contacted was in a non fashion way but I just followed my instincts and so far it worked my way" Chimney answered (Chim met Maddie when she was with Dough, he was screaming at her on the street and he decided to intervene, he got stabbed for his problem but Dough ended up in jail and she visited him every day until they escalated to boyfriend's at some point after him being released from the hospital) 

Idk what to say after this, it was mostly inspired on Ryan and Gavin's relationship and that comment of "that's my son" from Ryan but inside the show and some actors aus I read

If someone likes the idea feel free to use it too! Just send it to me if you do bc I'll love to read if this becomes a thing for someone

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

sorry i have to brainfart this somewhere but mersault chuuya wearing almost damn near similar clothing to his youth got me thinking about dazai and chuuya's fashion choices.

dazai, in all the eras where he was in the mafia....never changes his outfit. it fitting, given his character and such.....so his ada outfit makes him look like a rainbow. dark blue vest, blue gem(?) bolo tie, striped shirt and a tan coat similar to oda's. i think it's cool, to show the stark contrast between his pm days and how he's faring now, aswell to show how much effect oda had on him.

chuuya.....is the complete opposite. boy changes his clothes all the time. but it's so interesting.

his fifteen outfit is very "him" in a sense. street kid, street kid style- red shirt, grey hoodie, green leather jacket, bright blue sheep armband. he fits right in with the rest of the sheep, and hes so...colorful here. almost similar to ada dazai's outfit. and then theres the outfit he wears in the mafia- the first one we saw back in the manga where he seems to be wearing like a..."beta" version of his current outift- but the way it was drawn (disregarding the anime for a second) it looks like its almost ill fitting for him. the vest is too big, the coat looks so heavy, the tie isnt properly tucked, and his pants are baggy. like hes struggling to "fit in".

then theres sb outfit- hes wearing the standard mafia outfit like higuchi, but with his own touches- rolled up sleeves, glasses tucked in his breastpocket, choker, gloves. its not much, but even higuchi doesnt do anything to hers. we kinda see him "getting into" the mafia work, and theres no pop of color here. the dragon head conflict outift is different though- hes wearing clothes that are "his style" again. simple shirt, jacket, choker, gloves. he also has his red petticoat (i think thats what it is? whatever that long cloth underneath his jacket) that, once again, gives him some color. i dunno what spured the outfit change, but i honestly think the red color is his own touch- his own "color"

and then current chuuya. no color at all, maybe safe from the ribbon on his hat. he wears his coat on his shoulders, similar to pm dazai. (also, slight off tangent here- he always loses his coat whenever hes dealing with dazai?? i think?? which is. interesting. given with how glued pm dazai's coat is to his own shoulders. like he actively takes it off/gets it taken off and i SWEAR this only even happens when hes with dazai. idk. ever since asagiri said beast dazai wearing his coat fully to signify him accepting his role as the pm boss ive been. thinking about it. a lot.)

where was i going with this?? oh yeah. why is mersault chuuya wearing his old clothes?? specifically fifteen clothes? like was it his off day or something. bc if you look at chuuyas various outfit as his progression towards the mafia then him wearing his old non mafia clothes either means two things : 1. this is to signify chuuya, under vampire influnce, is well. obviously not loyal to the mafia atm. or 2. something might happen in the future that makes him swear allegiance to someone else which i dont find possible but??? who knows. im overthinking this

Oh my god I opened my asks to find this monster in here and scrolled through it like ?????????

Please feel free to do this anytime this was an absolute joy to read hahaha

"dazai, in all the eras where he was in the mafia....never changes his outfit." His outfit stays pretty similar, you're right, though he does actually change it once during his mafia days. The left image is the outfit he wears in Fifteen and Stormbringer, while the right is what he wears in DHC and Dark Era.

The difference is the blazer jacket he adds under his coat. It's a minimal change but I think it's significant. I mentioned in this post how I believe the change might be related to his change in pronoun from boku to watashi, but really it's more the added layer of distance that makes this significant. Dazai just looks a little... odd, in the first outfit. The coat hangs off him loosely, his shirt is a little baggy. He looks very boyish, and that makes his deceptive tendencies and deeply concerning outlook all the more disturbing to others.

The second outfit makes one change but his clothes now look like they fit him (still with the exception of the coat, which never fit and never will... in this universe anyways. You mentioned Beast so... you know already hehe). In the case of the second outfit, he looks more mature and formal, which lends itself to a person who withdrew further and further away from people (with the exception of the other two at Bar Lupin); who became a terrifying executive in other's eyes, moving away from the "creepy intelligent child" image he had earlier - even though he is still very much a kid. No one knows Dazai - I think the added image of formality and authority here is just one of the many barriers he constructed to keep people from getting too close.

"so his ada outfit makes him look like a rainbow. dark blue vest, blue gem(?) bolo tie, striped shirt and a tan coat similar to oda's."

hjdfvbdjf rainbow - entering his no longer closeted gay era (sorry lol i couldn't resist)

No but you're right about the coat looking a bit like Oda's. He cared for and respected that man like no other and I think when Dazai thinks of "a good person" Oda is the first person who comes to mind. His shirt in the manga is also stripy like Oda's, a little detail that got lost in the anime. :')

"his fifteen outfit is very "him" in a sense. street kid, street kid style- red shirt, grey hoodie, green leather jacket, bright blue sheep armband. he fits right in with the rest of the sheep, and hes so...colorful here."

Yeah. He looks every bit the street kid and blends with the Sheep near perfectly - more than fitting in though, I think it's more than implied that he wants to fit in and changes his look to do so. Chuuya goes to great lengths to give the appearance of fitting in - because he never felt like he truly did (and certainly the Sheep did not treat him like an equal or a friend).

"and then theres the outfit he wears in the mafia- the first one we saw back in the manga where he seems to be wearing like a..."beta" version of his current outfit- but the way it was drawn (disregarding the anime for a second) it looks like its almost ill fitting for him. the vest is too big, the coat looks so heavy, the tie isnt properly tucked, and his pants are baggy. like hes struggling to "fit in"."

YES you get it!! And adding onto that, Chuuya doesn't really have a lot of reason to want to fit in yet. He hasn't found his personal groove yet, because he has little personal attachment to the mafia at this point in time.

Yeah in Stormbringer he's got a few personal touches but is still pretty non-descript (though you're right, it's much more than Higuchi... something to think about for her character too, and how it seems the mafia may be more of a job than an investment to her). By Dead Apple though, Chuuya's outfit is... well, back to his punk vibes, just a little more mafia-classy, I guess. (I don't know fashion I'm sorry, please don't kill me)

"but i honestly think the red color is his own touch- his own "color""

Red makes a lot of sense as a colour for Chuuya. It's energetic, emotional, fierce and aggressive. It's also considered protective, so yeah it suits him for sure. Red clothes, red ability... red camellias...

"and then current chuuya. no color at all, maybe safe from the ribbon on his hat." Ooo ok. So in the anime, this is true but in the manga, I believe his vest is actually a pale red.

Well. Brown with red undertones. Your point still stands though because the colour is very muted. It's not like Fifteen or DHC Chuuya for sure.

"(also, slight off tangent here- he always loses his coat whenever hes dealing with dazai?? i think?? which is. interesting. given with how glued pm dazai's coat is to his own shoulders. like he actively takes it off/gets it taken off and i SWEAR this only even happens when hes with dazai. idk. ever since asagiri said beast dazai wearing his coat fully to signify him accepting his role as the pm boss ive been. thinking about it. a lot.)"

Oh. Thinking on this. Um. Embarrassed to say - I don't think I noticed that actually. Like obviously he loses the coat a lot and that was already something to think on but... only around Dazai, is that right? Hold on, I'm gonna check.

Ok so my check wasn't super thorough (read: I am too tired and drained to go through each and every panel he appears in) but...

By god, I think you're right.

That's. Hm. I'm going to join you on thinking about that for awhile.

I see the coat as a representation of his role and responsibility he takes on, really, so it's interesting that the formality and symbolism of his service to the mafia gets quite literally discarded in the scenes with his foil and equal. Fascinating.

He's also not wearing it in any of these now infamous panels from Chapter 101:

Huh. Well. Thank you anon. You've just given me a whole new thing to whir about.

"why is mersault chuuya wearing his old clothes?? specifically fifteen clothes?"

Honestly, I'm still waiting to figure this out too.

Because of the purplish hue over this piece of new art, I find it hard to tell what the actual colours of his outfit are but it does look awfully similar to his Fifteen outfit. It could just be his "day-off" outfit but I think there's got to be more to it than that. It could have to do with allegiance, like you suggested. May I also suggest the return to a sense of inhumanity?

These are also the clothes he wore when his journey to find answers on himself began. Might he be entering a new arc where he has to "find" himself again?

I still feel we don't have enough information to make a solid judgement. As the meursault pov continues, I think we'll have a better reason as to why he's dressed like this.