#I might be a day late but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t still be celebrating!!

[hattpatt]

IM BACK FROM THE GRAVE !!!💥💥💥

Fr thou June has been so eventful for me I have had no time to just,,,, relax,,,, also I’ve been obsessing over baldurs gate 3 and I’m losing my mind :]]] (100+hrs, hasn’t beaten act 3)

ALSO uhmmmmm happy very late pride month !! Take this wip artwork of my favesies + personal HC abt them (edited so there’s less yapping, Srry for the 2 month hiatus)

[jaywonjuice]

hiii! i saw your requests were open! i was wondering if you could write a jake drabble/scenario where the reader and him get into an argument and instead of making him sleep on the couch, the reader voluntarily does so instead and the aftermath (apologies) afterwards? hopefully that makes sense ☺️ thank you so much in advance and i’m looking forward to it!!

~ 🩵

aaa my first ever request !! :3 tysm for this, i thought it was a rly sweet idea and i rly rly hope you like how the piece turned out !<3

timeless. ~ s.jy

pairing bf!jake x gn reader

genre angst, fluff, oneshot

warnings verbal fight, physical contact, kissing, mention of drowning

wc 1.27k

[00:00] you watched as the alarm clock on your nightstand ticked over midnight and beeped into the darkness. you hugged your knees to your chest, feeling as if you were glued to this spot, huddled up in the middle of the bed. a lump began to form in your throat.

he forgot.

you and jake had been dating for a year now, and to be truthful, it was the happiest you had been in a long time. through all the low points he’d been there, from staying up to cuddle with you on the sofa after the long hard days at your stressful job, to wiping away your tears with his gentle touch, refusing to leave your side until he saw you smile again. you honestly had to pinch yourself sometimes to check you weren’t dreaming, that he was really yours - your gorgeous, sweet, golden retriever boyfriend.

but he forgot. he’d forgotten your one-year anniversary. and you knew that it shouldn’t matter to you so much but it did. you’d waited hopefully all day for him to text or call, and when your phone finally buzzed you’d rushed to read the message excitedly.

jake🩶

should still make tn but schedule’s running late, prob won’t get there til like half 12 xxxxxxx

your heart had sunk. you’d really thought he might have something special planned in secret, a surprise date at a fancy restaurant maybe, so you hadn’t brought it up just in case. but now you felt like a fool, hopes crushed. he clearly wasn’t thinking about you. maybe he just didn’t love you anymore.

your spiralling thoughts were cut off abruptly by the sound of the apartment door opening and then latching shut softly. shortly afterwards a shadowy shape appeared standing in the doorway of the bedroom.

‘hey baby,’ said jake with a broad smile. entering the room he flicked the lights on, casually running his fingers through his hair and letting out a contented sigh, as if he hadn’t just crushed your heart. ‘i thought you might’ve been asleep. why are you just sitting here in the dark?’

his smile faltered as he took in your expression. you were staring at him dully with tired eyes. he thought you looked smaller than usual, sat hunched there, blanket wrapped around your shoulders in the middle of the bed. concern flickered across his features. ‘baby, has something happened?’

you scoffed, turning away from him. ‘“has something happened?” no, actually, as a matter of fact absolutely nothing happened all day.’

he regarded you, puzzled. ‘baby i don’t understand,’

‘today was our anniversary, jake,’ you answered him cooly. ‘we’ve been together for an entire year and you didn’t even remember.’

you watched as the realisation crept over his face.

‘oh gosh, yeah, it totally slipped my mind!’ he furrowed his brow, thinking. ‘let’s go to the movies tomorrow, hmm? a proper date, to celebrate,’ he offered with a smile.

‘no,’ you shot back without a moment’s pause. ‘it’s not the same. we can’t just do it tomorrow. it won’t be special, we’ve missed our chance.’

‘what do you mean it won’t be special?’ he scratched his head, clearly growing frustrated with the conversation. ‘we’d be doing the exact same thing just on a different day, it doesn’t make any difference.’

‘jake, this was important to me!’ you were shouting now, unable to remain calm with how easily he seemed to dismiss your feelings.

‘hey don’t yell at me!’ he put his hands up. ‘we can just go tomorrow can’t we?! seriously what is the issue here, all i want is to just be with you-’

‘well i don’t want to be with you!’ you spat.

his jaw worked. something about his gaze shifted, and his eyes hardened. you knew then that you’d hurt him.

‘just forget it,’ you huffed, pushing yourself up off the bed and making to storm out of room. jake stuck his arm out to block the door. ‘look, if you’d just listen-’

‘forget it, i said,’ you repeated yourself, pushing his arm out of the way before adding, ‘you’re good at that.’ with that you left the room, your blanket trailing behind you.

.❦.

[11:44] when you awoke on the sofa the following morning, it was to a sore back and a throbbing head. it had taken you hours to fall asleep and you felt anything but rested. your cheeks felt tight with the stains of dried tears, and as you sat up straight the events of the previous evening flooded your mind.

jake. as you remembered the wounded look on his face at your hurtful words, your heart ached, adding to your long list of pains. ‘such an idiot,’ you groaned, head in your hands.

berating yourself did little to relieve your discomfort however, so you dragged yourself up off the sofa and made your way blearily to the kitchen.

as you reached for the medicine cabinet, something stuck to the fridge caught your eye. a little envelope was tucked under one of your little puppy fridge magnets. removing it carefully, you turned it over in your hands to find your name scrawled on the back.

you opened it up and read:

morning angel,

you know i’m not good with words, but i need you to know how much i love you, and how sorry i am that i hurt you.

i should never have said the things i said. i know now how important this was for you and i should’ve been more understanding from the start.

it’s not that i don’t care, honestly it’s quite the opposite. i just want to celebrate every day that i get to spend loving you. you see, i think we’re timeless baby, no matter how long i’m with you i’m always going to be crazily in love with you, until we’re old and grey. no matter when someone asks me, now or fifty years from now, i’m gonna be telling them that you’re my baby, forever and always.

yours,

jake

p.s. i’m really sorry this is all in writing and not in person, but i had things scheduled all morning that i couldn’t get out of :( i promise i’m gonna make it up to you

p.p.s. i’m also sorry for my atrocious handwriting (you’re right, it does kinda look like a drunk spider slipped in ink and danced across the page)

the sheet of paper trembled in your hands.

‘y/n?’

you looked up with a jolt to see jake stood watching you by the door, his face fraught with concern. your eyes filled with tears as they met his, and he dropped his bags to the floor and rushed over to you. he pulled you into his arms, wrapping them tightly around you.

‘jake,’ you were sobbing into his chest now. ‘jake i’m so sorry. i’m so so sorry.’

‘shhh, i know baby, i know,’ he stroked the back of your head gently. ‘i’m sorry too.’

still a sniffling mess, you continued ‘i do want to be with you, i want to be with you forever and.. i want to be timeless with you.’

you tilted your head up to face him, eyes shining. ‘please,’

he held your face in his hands as he leant in to kiss you, his thumb brushing against your cheek gently. the way he kissed you made you feel like you were both alive and burning all at once, like he was a breath of fresh air, like you were drowning. when he finally pulled away, he smiled, running his thumb along your puffy bottom lip, before replying softly ‘yeah, timeless sounds good to me.’

pls don’t hesitate to send me requests ! i love writing these sm ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡

©jaywonjuice | do not copy or re-upload my work on any platform

[baronessblixen]

Fictober Day 13: Birthday Surprises

Prompt: "That's not the point"

A surprise birthday party for Mulder - thrown by someone you might not expect. Rating: T, wc: 1,512

This is a birthday story for @randomfoggytiger! It's got fluff, baby William, and Bill Jr.

Tagging @today-in-fic @xffictober24

“We need to talk.” It’s good that he’s just put William to bed because her words make him drop the dirty diaper.

“What happened?” he asks, searching her face. His first thought is the big, fat D’s. Death. Divorce. Disease. He rakes his brain; she’s been fine yesterday, and every day before that. And they’re fairly happy, too. He’s sure of that.

“I got a call from my mom,” Scully says, taking his hand and leading him away from the nursery, toward the living room and the couch. So it’s ‘let’s sit down’ news. His hand feels ice-cold but if it is, Scully doesn’t mention it. A call from her mother could mean anything. The two big contenders are now death and disease.

“Is she- is she sick?” Mulder stammers.

“Hm? No. Mulder, you’re shaking.” She holds both his hands in hers even though his are so much bigger.

“You said we need to talk. I’m not expecting good news,” he admits.

“Oh, Mulder,” Scully says with a soft laugh. “I shouldn’t have just dropped this on you.” Like he dropped William’s used diaper. It’s still just sitting there, waiting. Much like Mulder here on this couch. “Relax, please. It’s nothing like what you’re imagining. Mom called to inform me that they’ve planned a surprise party for you.”

“A what?”

“A surprise birthday party.” Scully sighs, leaning her head against Mulder’s shoulder. “For you,” she adds, unnecessarily. After all, his birthday is in three days. For the first time in a while, he’s anticipating it. He could do without growing older, but this is his first birthday as a dad. It’s the first time they’re celebrating something together with William, apart from his birth.

“Why?” Scully sighs again and he’s learned that’s not a good sign.

“It’s Bill.”

“Bill? As in Bill Jr.? Your big brother who hates me?”

“He doesn’t hate you,” Scully says, playing with his fingers. He’s no longer shaking and the blood has returned to his extremities. “I think this is his way of apologizing.”

“A surprise birthday party?” He shouldn’t have feared the big D’s. Now it’s big, old brother Bill Jr. he needs to worry about.

“Mom wasn’t supposed to say anything, but she wanted to make sure we didn’t have any other plans.”

“Let’s make plans,” Mulder says. “It’s not too late.”

“It is now. I said we’re home. They all want to meet Will.”

“Who is ‘they’, Scully? How many people are we talking? Will anyone I know and like be at my birthday party?”

“Will and I will be there.” He loves it when she makes a joke, but right now he can’t appreciate it. “My mom, Bill, and his family. A few others.”

“A few others,” Mulder parrots and Scully nods slowly.

“She said she’s not sure how many people will show up.” She bites her lip, glancing up at him. It’s true that they haven’t made any plans, but he’d secretly hoped that they could sleep in. Or as long as William would let them. Have breakfast together as their small family. As though reading his mind, Scully leans up and kisses his cheek.

“I’m sorry,” she mumbles. “But here’s something you’ll love. My mom is making you pumpkin pie.” He smiles down at her. He does love Mrs. Scully’s pies.

“Hm.”

“You love pie.”

“That’s not the point.” He leans over, kissing her lips. “But we’ll make it work.”

What choice do they have?

*

This isn’t the first he dreads a birthday; he’s merely thought this year would be different. Two decades ago, for three years in a row, all he wanted for his birthday was to open the door and for his baby sister to be there, grinning at him and yelling surprise.

After that third year – the year his father forgot the day altogether – Mulder gave up. The day became a day like any other. It didn’t matter. Not until Scully. Every year, she brought him a little gift. Even that first year when they barely knew each other. No matter where they were, no matter what else was going on, she always remembered.

A surprise birthday party isn’t the end of the world. Not even one thrown by Bill Scully Jr. It’s been a while since he’s last seen the man. Being dead does have its advantages, too. Scully sent him out an hour ago, not pretending it was for any reason except that the guests could slip in and surprise him upon his return. Scully had kissed him for so long that William had grown impatient in his arms.

That hour has passed in record time and now it’s time to go home. William – strapped to his chest – is half asleep after having seen squirrels and a duck at the park. At least his son is happy, no matter what else will happen today.

“Will,” Mulder says quietly as he reaches for the key in his pocket. “I hope you’re ready. I know I’m not.” He unlocks the door, taking a deep breath.

“Surprise!” A choir of voices greets him and Mulder puts on his best and biggest grin, acting surprised. However, they forgot to let William in on the secret. He hiccups and stuffs his hand in his mouth, drawing several awws from the guests. Then, without any warning whatsoever, he starts wailing.

“Hey, hey,” Mulder says, trying to soothe him.

“Poor baby,” someone says and Mulder nods, for the split of a second believing they mean him. Scully takes the baby from him, who calms down when he sees his mother wearing a colorful, silly party hat. Without his son in his arms, he’s free to be attacked – and people do. Maggie Scully is the first to hug him and press a kiss on his cheek. Then a bunch of women Mulder has never seen in his life proceed to do the same. A few men shake his hand and Mulder just nods and plays along.

“Finally someone I know,” he says when he sees Skinner.

“Mrs. Scully invited me.” And he seems positively tickled by it. “Happy birthday, Mulder,” he says, patting him on the back. That leaves Bill Scully Jr. The other man is wearing a party hat, too. It’s crooked on his head, making him look ridiculous – and like someone who won’t kill him after all.

“Happy birthday, Fox,” he says. Scully’s brother is uncertain whether to hug him or shake his hand and so they perform an awkward dance that ends with their shoulders bumping. “Can I call you Fox? Mom does it.”

“It’s fine,” he says.

“I, um, realize this is not- I figured you’re part of the family now, and well, birthday parties are what we do. Surprised Dana once in college and that was not- not the best idea.” When Bill smiles at him, Mulder warms up the man. His smile reminds him not only of his favorite Scully but also of Melissa. He knows Scully has been missing her sister even more after having William. And Bill is making an effort. He’s trying, so Mulder will be too.

“Thank you, Bill,” he says. “Birthdays haven’t always been easy for me, but I’ve heard a rumor that your mother made pumpkin pie.” The other man’s eyes light up.

“You’re a pie fan, too, huh? Maybe we should talk.”

And that’s what they do. As it turns out, Bill Jr. isn’t an asshole – or not as big an asshole as Mulder might have thought. He meets baby Matthew who – as the boy himself declares – is no longer a baby. He talks to various Scully family members who all knew about him and whose names he’s never even heard. At one point, Scully joins him, standing close to him and stroking his back.

Later, after everyone’s left and most of the chaos is taken care of, Mulder joins Scully in bed where she’s nursing William.

“He slept through most of the party,” Mulder says, sounding envious.

“Are you tired?” Scully asks him quietly, a hand on his arm, and he just nods. “Did you have any fun at all today?”

“I did,” he replies honestly. “Your brother can be fun, Scully.”

“He has his moments.” She’s smiling.

“We’re gonna play basketball on Christmas,” Mulder muses. “Weather permitting. And well, if I’m invited.”

“Why wouldn’t you be invited?”

“I’m not an official member of the Scully family, am I?” He’s asked her. Several times. As much as Bill Jr. may like him now, Mulder is sure that he’d prefer if he made an honest woman of his sister. So does Mulder. He wants to show the world that it’s them. Mulder and Scully, partners in everything.

“You’ll always be a member of my family,” Scully says. “Whether we ever make it official or not.”

“Did I hear a maybe to my marriage proposal?”

“It’s more than a maybe,” she whispers, leaning over to gently kiss him.

“This has been one of my favorite birthdays,” he admits quietly, gazing up at her.

“Let’s make it even better,” she says, kissing him.

[annestie]

Mother Hen

Summary: Peter attempts to make Tony a birthday breakfast. Keyword 'attempts.'

Pairing: Platonic Tony Stark & Peter Parker

Word Count: 1051

Notes: Oh my god is the world ending? This isn't an avatar fic lol! But in all seriousness, this is a birthday gift to one of my closest friends. Hen, I hope you have a lovely birthday, I can't believe we've known each other for years (either late 2021 or early 2022, I was trying to go back through our chats to figure it out but I completely forgot we deleted general by accident in 2022 lol) it honestly hasn't felt that long and say hi to Momxi for me! I tried my best to include everything. I hope you like it!

This was very fun to write. First fic in this fandom which is always fun and also all my longfics are currently angsty so this was a nice break. By the way, part of the request was for endgame to not exist so there shall not be a word spoken about it here.

Tony is a mother hen; he had even begrudgingly admitted that to Pepper and the rest of the team after a lot of pestering. But he isn’t that overprotective, at least most of the time. Sure, he has installed a few safety measures on his kid’s suit. But which non-parent parent of a superhero wouldn’t? Especially one so uncaring of his own safety as Tony’s kid.

The bottom line is Tony does not want to see his kid hurt.  I mean, which non-parent parent would want to?

So when Tony wakes up on a seemingly beautiful Sunday morning, light filtering in from his floor to ceiling windows, to the smell of burning, you best believe he immediately springs out of bed, set on rescuing his kid.

If Tony had been a little more awake and little less protective, he probably would have questioned why Friday hadn’t said anything or why there wasn’t any alarms going off, but his ‘rescue kid’ brain has already kicked in.

It’s quite the whiplash when Tony exits his rooms, now in full metal, and instead of a blazing fire, he finds Peter in the kitchen. Peter who has a pan on the stove with something in it that doesn’t even resemble food. Tony’s even more confused because they had just put in a rule against science experiments in the kitchen after the ‘cheese incident’.

“Kid, what is that?” Tony asks, cautiously de-suiting as he takes a step closer. Though he leaves on one of his gloves in case of the need for a fire extinguisher still.

“Happy birthday,” Peter says instead of answering, his face lighting up as he sees Tony. “I know Pepper is out of town and so is everyone else. But-”

“It’s ok, we’re celebrating once everyone gets back,” Tony reassures though Peter continues, almost ignoring Tony’s words.

“Yeah but it’s your actual birthday day so it’s special,” Peter explains, using his hands to gesture wildly as usual. He even points to the pan on the stove.

Tony raises an eyebrow. “What do you have going on over there?”

“Breakfast, I wanted to surprise you,” Peter tells, his smile only widening more. It’s obvious the kid had put a lot of thought into this. Even if he did inherit his aunt’s cooking skills.   

Sighing, Tony smiles and puts away the rest of his suit. “Alright, bambino, what did you make?” Tony asks, fully prepared to swallow at least a bite of the thing in the pan. He, at least, has a very good medical team.

When Tony accidentally signed up as a non-parent parent, he didn’t think that eating breakfast that doesn’t resemble breakfast would be a part of the sacrifices he would have to make. He definitely thought those sacrifices would be more along the lines of himself, other lives, not his stomach.

Lucky for Tony, Peter shakes his head. “Oh, I don’t think you should eat this,” Peter says. He moves the pan away. “I think it might be radioactive or something.” Nervously, he chuckles.

Disturbed, Tony looks to the thing in the pan. “What were they?”

“Eggs.”

“Eggs aren’t black, and they shouldn’t be smoking.”

“You should probably take the fire extinguisher out again.”

Waking up to his not-his-kid kid making him a breakfast of burnt, smoking eggs definitely wasn’t something Tony thought would happen on the morning of his birthday. You know what? Scratch that. Tony never thought he would have to extinguish burnt, smoking eggs ever. But it’s the thought that counts, probably. Plus the tower didn’t burn down so it’s ok.  

Once they have properly dealt with the eggs, Tony turns to Peter.

“Why didn’t Friday say anything?” Tony questions, his mind now much more awake thanks to the eggs. Though, he already knows the answer. His kid had somehow turned Tony’s own AI against him. Something, Tony hadn’t even imagined possible.

“Maybe she didn’t want to?” Peter lies as he does his best to try and charm Tony with a smile.

Tony simply looks at him using his ‘dad’ look.

“I told her not to not ruin the surprise of your birthday breakfast.”

Finding it a little hard to actually get mad at that, Tony simply sighs instead. “Just don’t burn down the tower next time. If you aunt found out, you wouldn’t be allowed back.”

Peter gives a sheepish smile. Suddenly, he perks up. “Before I forget, buon compleanno,” Peter says with the biggest grin.

Tony smiles back at him. “Wow, two ‘happy birthdays’ and isn’t even eight yet.” He ruffles the top of Peter’s head.

“Somethings from May wore off on me,” he explains with the proudest grin.

“Other things too.” Tony eyes the thing that was once eggs.

“Sorry,” Peter apologizes.

“It’s ok,” Tony comforts Peter, patting his shoulder gently. “Come on, I’ll show how to make eggs. The right way.”

“The right way?”

“The way Pepper taught me.”

The eggs are much easier to make with the right steps, processes and precautions, which includes a fire extinguisher on standby though luckily, they have no use for it.

Tony mainly acts as a recipe reciter as he watches over Peter frying the eggs. Giving tidbits of guidance here or there, making sure they don’t burn, telling him which and how much seasoning to put.  Tony has no doubt that if any of the team were here, they would be calling his actions fatherly, not that he could dispute that.

Once the eggs are finished, Tony grabs a fork from a drawer. “Now the most important part, tasting them,” he says. Tony gently scoops some of the eggs onto his fork, certain that they’re going to be fine.

Peter looks on nervously, shifting his weight between his feet. He smile flattens as he anxiously awaits Tony’s verdict.

“They’re great,” Tony says, giving Peter a smile.

Surprised, Peter’s brows furrow. “Really?”

“Yes, here try them.” Tony hands Peter the fork.

Peter quickly tastes them, his eyes widening as he eats the first bite. “I did it!” he says, happily. His face lighting up with what can only be described as pure joy.

Along with the eggs they have toast. A simple breakfast which tastes amazing only due to the fact that Tony’s not-his-kid kid put in so much of his effort.

[outlaw-apologist]

The Price of Cake - Charles x Reader

Charles Smith x Reader - Comfort and fluff

Summary: The grief of being an orphan never really goes away. You struggle with understanding your place in the gang as you search for comfort alone. Charles finds out just how much a small gesture of kindness can mean. (In which reader's mother is dead and Charles doesn't realize he's being a good friend)

TW: Grief, loss of a loved one, mental illness

Author note: I hate self deprecating ANs but I was so in my feelings while writing this I kinda wrote it like complete ass. It’s a cute story but- anyway, this one goes out to all my fellow orphans out there. Love u 

You had been on the road with the gang for awhile now, not even bothering to keep up with the ever-changing world. Time really flies when you're shootin' and robbin' folk. It wasn't until you were snug in your bedroll did you come to the realization that months and days matter. Some dates have more weight than others. It was going to drive you crazy not knowing what day it was today. Leaving your bed in pursuit of knowledge, you asked a few of the gang members who were still awake.

"I think it's a Tuesday." Said Javier as he idly strummed his guitar.

"It ain't a Tuesday! It's Wednesday." Bill swore.

Sean shrugged when you looked to him for help. "I'm not gonna lie to ya, I don't even know what month it is."

You love them, of course, but they're useless sometimes. Frustration began to set in. Did no one know the date? There was something important you needed to do. On a specific day. Though, you tried to swallow your feelings, reminding yourself that you had no one else to blame. It's your responsibility to keep track of important events and you failed.

From the corner of your eye you spot Charles who offered a kind smile. Knowing he was silently beckoning you over, you plopped down beside him.

"Hey Charles!"

"Good evening." He set his handiwork aside. Nowadays when lingering in camp Charles often made arrows and tonight was no different. "It's late, shouldn't you be in bed?"

"I was trying to sleep but then I remembered something." Charles leaned forward as if ready to hear your revelation. "Do you know the date?"

He chuckled in amusement, giving you a fond look. "I heard you asking around for it. It's the 13th. Monday, despite whatever Bill believes."

Opening your journal you flipped to the makeshift calendar you had drawn in the very back pages. It's been months since you kept track of the days and so it was rather empty as a result. Now it was decorated with the scratch of your pencil. Biting your lip you count the days of the week then sigh in relief. "Alright, I still have time." These words were only meant for you, uttered beneath your breath.

"What was that? I didn't catch you-"

"It's not important, Charles. Thanks for helping me out." While standing you brush your fingers over his shoulder with familiar affection. "Goodnight."

Smiling up at you, Charles bid you farewell with a little nod. "Sleep well."

That night your dreams were mixed with a faint awareness of plans you needed to make. What did you need to do to make your wish happen? The task you settled on was simple to celebrate this upcoming day was simple. It shouldn’t be stressful but it carried weight in your mind. This was a feeling you held in your chest as you rode into Valentine the next morning looking for a specific baked good.

"Sorry, we don't sell that. Perhaps try in Strawberry, they have folk from all over." The local baker waved you away.

From Valentine it took you two hours to ride into Strawberry. Upon asking around you managed to find a cute bakery hidden away from the main road.

"I'm sorry, we've never carried this. You might have more luck in the South." Was not what you wanted to hear, but it was what you received.

Sighing with frustration you decide to return to camp for the night. After tying off your horse glumly you carry yourself to the butcher's table. After today it probably didn’t hurt to just ask even though you knew it probably wasn’t possible."Mr. Pearson, do you know how to make a carrot cake?"

Pearson glanced up from prepping that evenings dinner with a questioning gaze. "Carrot cake? Yeah, I suppose it's not too complicated. But I don't have any of the right conditions."

"I see."

Watching as you visibly wilt, Pearson offered an apologetic look while you slunk away in defeat. How hard was it to find a damn carrot cake? It was just carrots and cake… right? This whole thing was going to drive you insane. Being an outlaw was hard when you need a specific cake. No home. No roof. Just sweet sweet freedom and a lack of baked goods.

Despite simmering in your heated thoughts, you notice Arthur and Charles had watched the whole interaction. "Watcha need a carrot cake for?"

"Hello to you too, Arthur." You dug into him playfully, causing the outlaw to roll his eyes. "No reason. I just really want one."

Arthur was no fool. He knew you long enough to know you wouldn't needlessly ask for such a thing. "Is that so? You check in town?"

"First thing this morning. They sent me all the way to Strawberry and they didn't have it either."

"To Strawberry!?"

"Yeah..."

"Sounds like quite the trip." Charles spoke up. His arms were crossed and he wore a pensive expression as if deep in thought about the subject. It almost made you laugh a little. He looked rather cute. It seems like you weren’t the only one trying to strategist the potential of purchasing this cake.

Shaking his head, Arthur looked between you and Charles. "That's some craving you got there kid. I'll keep an eye out for you, if it means that much. I don’t really go into bakeries and what not but I can make an exception for you."

"Thank you, Arthur. I genuinely appreciate it."

With that you felt a little bit better about the situation. After eating stew with Arthur and Charles you retired for the evening only to wake up early the next morning ready to saddle up. The great search was not over just yet.

It seemed like a long trip to Rhodes from Horseshoe Overlook. You took your time enjoying bright green trees and the bison roaming The Heartlands. The air was cold and dew collected over each individual blade of grass. Birds chirped wonderful melodies. It was nice. Peaceful.

It reminded you of a spring day long ago when you were only a child. You remember the seasonal chill settling over your skin as you ran towards your mother after playing outside. Memories like these only made you feel a sense of longing now. Longing for a life you'll never have. For your parent you'll never see again.

You still exist there with her in your memories. However, at the same time, it seemed like a lifetime ago. Most of the gang didn't have parents. You knew your situation wasn't special. You never made a fuss about it but it still hurt even at your big age. It was hard to think of what your life might be like if your mother never died. Would it be better? Would you be more comfortable in life? More successful? More loved? How would your mother view your choice to stay with the gang? You didn't know-

Pushing these thoughts aside, you suck in a shaky breath before things got too carried away. You didn't want teary eyes in public. Luckily the peace this morning brought has stayed with you as you entered Rhodes. Not many people were out this early making the town nice and quiet.

Hitching your horse outside, you strolled into the local bakery. "Mornin'. Do y'all happen to sell carrot cake?"

Kneading dough for the day, the baker didn't bother sparing you a glance. "Not in these parts. Most people make it at home."

Well... You didn't have a home. That thought struck your heart then and there. Maybe if your mother was still alive you'd have a home today… Swallowing back your emotions you give a quick 'thank you' before rushing out the door. Rhodes wasn’t the most convenient place to have gut wrenching thoughts.

It all seemed so silly now. Maybe it didn't really matter. It wasn't working out how you wanted. Still, something seemed so wrong about not celebrating her... You loved your mother more than anything. You still do even after all these years without her. A part of you knew she would understand if you didn't acquire the cake. But, that wasn't really the point. Your mother was gone. You're still here. This was for you.

Emotionally things become too complicated. Sorting your wildly brewing thoughts was almost impossible. Layers of hurt, anger, frustration, loneliness, and love clawed their way through your chest. You couldn't bring yourself to return to the gang right now. Couldn't face the new family who took you in. It almost felt like a betrayal to them, to your mother, to yourself...

Grief is a bitch. It was isolating. Devastating. It never truly goes away. Time heals all wounds? What a laugh. The only person who has ever truly loved you was gone. You still remember the last hug you ever received. It was her, your mother, who hugged you. The warmth of her embrace mixed with the faint recollection of her scent was a prized memory. Over the years you've never met a friend or lover who has dared to genuinely care for you without strings attached. Never will you experience that level of love again.

The realization of how alone you always feel was making you spiral. Despite joining the gang and seeing everyone often you still felt a sense of forlornness. You needed time. Distance. Maybe it was counter intuitive when you decide to pitch a tent for the night in a pretty field in Lemoyne. As night fell you stared into the flames of the fire you built, making out dancing pictures of all those you've loved and lost. Staring up at the starry night sky only made you feel small and insignificant. Realizing nothing was going to release the grip this glum mood has on you, you decide to put yourself to bed.

Days passed with no sign of you in camp. You needed breathing room between you and the Van Der Linde gang. Even though this was all conjured up, probably with lying thoughts picking at your insecurities, you didn't feel mentally well enough to return just yet. Instead you spent your days searching around Saint Denis for the elusive carrot cake.

The universe had other plans for you, it seemed. Some bakeries didn't sell it. The one you found that did sell it was sold out and didn't expect to make a new one in time. You lounged outside of your little camp in Lemoyne crossing off another in the back of your journal. Fighting with the beastly thoughts tormenting you. Finding peace among the rabbits that frolicked through the emerald grass every morning.

You missed your friends. You missed the gang. You weren't sure if they missed you or even if they loved you. Everyone claimed you were their family, but what is family to a group of orphans? What does family mean to any of them? What does it mean to you? Well... You hadn't quite figured that out yet. But, you did know your heart ached for them terribly. You wanted nothing more than to eat Pearson's shitty stew while listening to Javier play guitar. To enjoy the day sitting next to Charles as he worked. Fuck with Arthur whenever he would return to camp. Maybe they weren't your family but they were your community and you needed them like flowers need water.



Kicking dirt over the fire, you deconstructed your tent and set off just as the sun began to rise painting the clouds purple and orange. The desire to watch the water glow and the clouds move before the colored light fades was too great. You found yourself stopping your horse on a hill overlooking Flat Iron Lake. Simply taking in the morning. Appreciating life.

That's when the sound of your name floated on the wind which was uplifted by the early morning silence and the sounds of song birds. "There you are!" Explained a deep voice, the owner of whom sounded relieved. Glancing back idly your eyes land on Charles Smith. "You're a hard person to find. I've been tracking you for a whole day." He did look a little haggard, pulling the reigns so Taima would come to a stop beside your horse.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to be gone for so long. Did Dutch send for me?" Tilting your head you noticed the meek smile Charles wore.

"No. I was looking for you because there's something I wanted to give you- Are.. Are you doing okay?"

You probably looked awful judging by the concerned way Charles stared you down, examining your disheveled appearance. You squirmed beneath his gaze and looked away shyly. He quickly realized there was something you didn't want to talk about. Deciding to respect your comfort he dropped the subject and instead pulled out a small package from his satchel. "I remembered you were asking around for a carrot cake."

"No way!" Your head whipped around, eyeing the small paper parcel Charles held out in the palm of his hand. Accepting it with excitement your fingers made quick work of the string binding the baking paper. The paper flopped out revealing a small simple carrot cake. All you could do was stare at it. "How...?"

"I met a woman who needed help repairing her wagon. She asked me how she could replay me and I asked her if she could make a carrot cake for you."

What an incredibly kind gesture, you thought. "Charles... I... You really did that for me?" Your teary eyes locked with Charles' gentle gaze.

"Of course! It seemed like you really wanted one. I thought it would make you happy. Unfortunately it’s a little small, she didn’t have ingredients for a full cake."

Shaking your head you divide the cake into two pieces. "Share it with me."

Charles hesitated, watching the cake crumble in your hand as you offered it to him. "Are you sure? You looked so hard for it and if I eat some you'll only get a few bites." He didn’t want to take this away from you. In camp you had looked so defeated when telling him about it. Charles wanted you to savor your treat.

Shaking your head you insisted, making Charles reluctantly accept half. "It's not really about the cake." You admit, earning a quizzical look. It felt weird divulging information about this aspect of your life... But Charles... The fact that he went out of his way to get you a carrot cake despite not knowing how important this truly was... You realize he cherishes you. And all those sneering thoughts were dispelled from your head. You were loved and Charles was your family.

"My mother's favorite cake growing up was carrot cake. It's her birthday and... I just miss her a lot I guess. I wanted to celebrate her and I thought what’s better than eating her favorite cake? It would make me so happy if you ate some too. Especially since you went out of your way just to get this for me. I can't even express my gratitude, Charles. Thank you."

His face immediately softened. Your name sweetly left his lips when Charles realized you were crying. Fat salty tears glided down your cheeks pulling at his heartstrings. He genuinely had no idea how much this meant to you. Charles felt honored you decided to share this moment with him. "I guess she really wanted you to have this cake." He tried to comfort you. "Thank you for letting me celebrate with you. I never... Considered doing something like this for my mother. I don't know when her birthday is but I think it'd be nice to pick a day to honor her."

Wiping your tears away you silently place a bite of carrot cake on your tongue while watching the sunrise with Charles. "If you want, I'll do it with you. It's lonely doing it by yourself." The two of you exchange knowing smiles. "I'm happy you're here."

"I know I'm not very good with words, but I'll always try to be here for you."

"I know, Charles. Thank you."

The sun rose higher in the sky, bathing the world in yellow light as the hues of pink and fire fade from view. "Tell me about her. Your mother." Charles knew you weren't ready for this moment to dispel and you were grateful for it.

"Well, she was kind. Much kinder than I. I mean, I'm an outlaw." Charles laughed, nodding his head in understanding. That statement applied to his mother too. Naturally drawn to each other, you find yourselves recounting childhood memories for the rest of the day. Eventually setting a blanket out beneath a tree where Charles draped his arm over your shoulder to keep you close. You told stories of your upbringing while he shared things his mother had taught him. You both laughed and a few tears were shed.

Grief is hard. It's personal to everyone. It can make you feel isolated or hopeless. Angry at the world. There was no greater feeling than someone who listens you. Who tries to understand you. No greater feeling than realizing you are in fact deeply loved and cherished. Charles will always be close to your heart. For as long as he lives he too will carry on the memory of your mother with him as you now carry the memory of his. Even though they're gone, they'll never truly die as long as you celebrate them.

[schrijverr]

I Dig You 8

Chapter 8 out of 8

Robin is tentatively excited for her first internship: an archaeological dig in the Netherlands, where she has been studying. However, when she gets there, Steve is there too. The dick of their uni that she now has to work with. Great. But being stuck digging for six weeks makes people bond and maybe he isn’t too bad. Maybe he can be her friend.

AKA an archaeology interns, modern, enemies-to-friends stobin au

On AO3.

Ships: none

Warnings: none

~~~~

Chapter 8: Plans

The two have made their way back to the vacation home, deciding that while it gets dark late, they shouldn’t risk getting lost. They are trying to maintain a semblance of a normal sleeping schedule to survive the last week that’s coming.

However, once there, they decide that it’s not yet time for sleeping, so they’re sitting on the table – on not at, because sitting on tables is superior – and are chatting about everything and nothing, content with each other’s presence.

After a lull in the conversation, Steve breaks the silence by asking: “What about you, by the way? What do you want to do with your future?”

“I mean, I wanna finish my Bachelor’s with high enough grades to get into the Research Master, then specialize in materials, bones specifically, before doing my PhD, preferably with a minimal student loan debt. Then do research for the rest of my life, probably work at a uni and teach,” Robin says. She has had this dream for forever, so it’s an easy answer.

“You’re going to stay at the faculty here?” Steve asks.

“That’s the plan for now. I like the uni and I know the professors. So, I’m not planning on leaving just yet,” Robin says.

“So, you’re not missing your parents? People back home?” Steve asks. “You said you’re working, you don’t wanna go visit after this?”

“Can’t really afford the plane ticket,” Robin shrugs ruefully, for once not embarrassed to admit that out loud. “Besides, my parents are the only cool people there, I don’t really have a connection with most of my extended family, except my conservative grandma, so don’t really miss her. I do miss my parents of course, but there isn’t a uni with a good archaeology program nearby, so it wouldn’t really matter, because I couldn’t go see them regularly anyway, so why go there, you know?”

“That fucking sucks, dude,” Steve says. “When does it become socially acceptable for me to offer to buy you a plane ticket? I mean, you have cool parents, you should be able to go see them. This is so unfair.”

“Welcome to the world, buddy,” Robin rolls her eyes, though also touched by his reply. “And I already used up most of my vacation days, so I have to go back to work when I’m done here. If we’re still friends by christmas you can come over to mine to celebrate and I will turn a blind eye if you pay for the plane tickets and forget to send me a Tikkie.”

“Didn’t we just decide to be friends forever? I’m holding you to that,” Steve grins. “I wanna meet these mystical parents of yours.”

“Daisy and Thomas Buckley are the most boring people alive, but whatever floats you boat,” Robin informs him, though she’s fond. She loves her parents and she can’t help but get happy whenever their friendship is confirmed. It might sound a little sad, but she needs that validation or her brain convinces her it’s all a trick.

“I like boring,” Steve replies.

“Yeah, that tracks,” Robin ribs him, quite literally.

“Ouch!” Steve pouts, clutching his side. “You’re mean.”

“And you like me anyway,” Robin grins brightly, because it’s true. Steve knows what a judgmental bitch she is and he still wants to be best friends.

“Sadly,” Steve jokes.

“Who’s being mean now?” Robin says, putting on a huge pout.

“Oh no, it is me. However, shall I repay you for this horrendous slight against you?” Steve asks dramatically, draping himself over her, which almost makes her topple.

Robin shoves him off, while being carefully so he doesn’t actually fall off the table as she huff: “You’re such a dork, I don’t know why people think you’re cool.”

“It’s called being confused 90% of the time so people think you’re aloof,” Steve says as he sits back up again.

“That’s stupid,” Robin says.

“I know,” Steve shrugs.

They’re quiet again. Between the trees the sun is setting and Robin knows they should be going to bed if they don’t want to fuck up their schedules, but that would mean ending this moment and she is too attached, so she stays quiet.

Steve is the one that breaks the quiet again. His voice is more serious again as he asks: “Do you want to stay here or move back to the States when you’re done?”

“Haven’t really thought about it,” Robin says honestly. “I mean, I’ll be twenty-two when I’m done with my Bachelors, twenty-five with my Master and then a PhD is between four to ten years. I’ll be twenty-nine at the youngest. I haven’t thought that far ahead yet. Why?”

“I mean, I’d be sad if you moved away,” Steve admits softly.

Robin tends to forget she is a person in other people’s lives, so she’s taken aback for a second, before a happy feeling floods through her. She says: “I’d miss you too.”

“That’s- that’s good. Is that weird to say?”

“Probably, but I don’t think so,” Robin replies. “I’m bad at being friends with people, but it’s easy with you. This is nice.”

“Can you believe you hated me five weeks ago?” Steve randomly comments.

“I didn’t hate you,” Robin lies.

“You totally did,” Steve laughs, poking her.

“I thought you were annoying and a stupid frat bro, I didn’t hate you, because that would mean I was more invested in you than I was,” Robin retorts to save face.

“You were bitter about Tammy,” Steve singsongs.

“Ugh, are you ever letting that go?” Robin groans.

“Never,” Steve tells her smugly.

“I hate you.”

“No, you don’t.”

“… Fuck. No, I don’t,” Robin sighs, though she’s unable to help the smile. She can’t believe how fast her opinion of Steve changed, but she’s glad for it. Idly she says: “It’s going to be weird to not be in your space 24/7 after this.”

“Yeah, it is. You can always come over to mine, you know? Hell, you could move in and that would be cool,” Steve agrees.

“What?” Robin chokes, surprised by the offer, but not for the reason you’d think. “You haven’t offered anyone that. Carol and Tommy both complained – loudly, I might add – how much of a dick move that was of you.”

“Tsk, of course they did. I don’t want them to live with me because they throw parties every weekend in their own house and I actually like my personal space, and not living with people, who don’t clean and make fun of the way I eat,” Steve scoffs.

“Wow, yeah, okay, they sound horrible,” Robin says, unable to fathom living like that. She likes her own space too.

“Tell me about it, I don’t know why it took me this long to drop them. They can be the worst,” Steve says. “I guess it was just what I thought friendships were supposed to be like. Befriending people at the archaeology faculty, like Argyle – he’s super cool, by the way – made me realize that was actually not normal, lol.”

Robin fights the urge to make fun of Steve for saying lol out loud, since she can recognize when someone is trying to make something sound less serious. Instead she nods: “Yeah, I can get that,” before smirking: “Sooo, I am worthy of living in the Harrington residence?”

“Yeah, you’re cool,” Steve responds more easily than Robin would have thought. “And we’ve kind of proven we can live together just fine. I’d help you move and everything.”

“Wait, you’re for real?” she asks, looking at Steve with wide eyes. She kind of thought he was joking, but he sounds pretty serious.

Steve looks back like she is weird for not getting that yet. “Of course, why would I joke about that?”

“I don’t know, that sounds like something you should think about before offering, right?” Robin shoots back.

“Why? We’re students, people move in impulsively all the time,” Steve answers. “It would actually be a pretty normal thing to do.”

“Except that your parents would be my landlords,” Robin points out, not even daring to ask what the rent situation would be like.

“No, the house is in my name, remember? I’d be your landlord,” Steve says.

“That doesn’t really make it better,” Robin informs him.

Steve shakes his head, suddenly looking excited as he says: “No, it does make it better. Think about it. I can charge you nothing and if my parents ask, I can just say you’re my girlfriend and they’d understandably let you stay for free, because they are terrified of me being anything but straight and then I can get as much money out of them as I can, before they cut me off. I’d be perfect.”

“You- you want to beard in the year 2023 to scam your homophobic parents out of money?” Robin asks incredulously, unsure if she understood correctly.

Steve nods.

“Well, that does sound pretty punk to do,” Robin admits, because when she thinks about it, that is hilarious and she’d get a house with no rent out of it in the actual city the uni is in, so she won’t have to take the train every day.

“Is this you agreeing?” Steve asks her, excitement not having left.

“Yeah, sure, let’s become roomies,” Robin laughs, a little disbelieving at how she ended up here, but delighted nonetheless.

“Yay,” Steve cheers, doing a dorky little dance that Robin joins in with, because why the hell not?

With that decided, they lay down on the table side by side, looking up at the slowly appearing stars as they continue to plan how to move in together, arguing if they can move furniture by public transport or if they need to find a person with a car they can borrow, since neither of them are qualified to lease one.

“We can’t carry my bed frame with just the two of us!” Robin exclaims. “How are we even fitting it in the tram or train for that matter.”

“You see people with crazy shit in the train all the time,” Steve argues back. “I’ve seen people with a fridge, like a hundred suitcases, people with a floor length mirror and people with a big ass chair. We can totally take your bed with us on the tram.”

“Okay, fine, even if it’s allowed, have you seen my noodle arms? I can’t carry it and even if I could, I am not coordinated enough to pull that off,” Robin says.

“I can do it by myself.”

“You cannot carry a bed frame by yourself. We need a car.”

“Who do you know with a car?” Steve shoot back.

“No one, you’re the one with friends.”

Steve is quiet for a second, then says: “… Argyle has this beat up van. He’ll probably help us move if we buy him pizza at the end of the day.”

“See, problem solved,” Robin says self-satisfied.

“I still think I can do it,” Steve pouts.

“Well, you’ll just have to find that out in your own time,” Robin informs him. “So, what about chores? Are we making a schedule or like splitting it on preferred tasks?”

And on they go, deciding how to organize chores and cooking, what to tell people that ask and what they prefer when it comes to studying and noises, making a list of rules. By the time they’re done, it’s already late and Robin knows they fucked up their sleeping schedule just a little bit, but neither of them care.

The next day, they both sleep in for a change, doing a familiar dance through their small kitchen as they make their breakfast and get ready for the day of lounging around, before they have to start up again for their last week on the dig.

If Robin had expected Steve to change his mind overnight, she doesn’t get a chance to ask if he had, because Steve excitedly tells her they can have Dutch Days where they try to only speak Dutch, because he looked it up and if she wants to teach here at the uni she needs a minimum level of Dutch, so they both have to practice.

After that time seems to fly by with the last week of the excavation seeming to not last longer than a blink. Before they know it, they’re standing around on their last day, waiting for Jeroen to fill in their evaluation, so they can add it to their final report, before leaving to spend the last day in the vacation home that has been their shared home for weeks now.

They’re both a little melancholic as they write their final daily report together and make dinner (pasta for the dozenth time), before going to sleep.

The follow morning, Robin is also awake early and they clean the vacation home together, so they’re not leaving it a complete sandy mess, before Steve goes to give back the key, while Robin watches the bikes.

With their bikes packed, they make their way to the local train station, traveling together until they’re at Utrecht, where they have to split up.

It’s a little weird to say goodbye, so Robin says: “So, uhm, we’ll meet up soon?”

“Yeah, sure, I’ll text you,” Steve agrees.

Suddenly Robin is struck with a thought and she says: “Do I even have your number?”

“I don’t know, do I have yours?” Steve replies, pulling out his phone.

“Can you imagine if we don’t?” Robin giggles.

“It would be very on theme,” Steve giggles too, weird tension broken again. He asks: “Are you in that big group chat with everyone from first year?”

“Yeah, I am, you too?” Robin says.

“Yeah,” Steve confirms.

“At least we have each other’s number,” Robin laughs, amused at the situation. “I’m going to save you in my phone as Airhead Himbo.”

“Rude, I’m saving you as Pretentious Dick,” Steve says.

“That’s rude,” Robin protests, though she’s grinning.

“You started it.”

“Okay, okay, I’ll change it to Schmuck,” Robin concedes.

“Is Bone Lady better?” Steve asks with an equally amused look on his face.

“Totally, that is epic. I will wear it with pride.”

“I somehow feel I got the short end of this,” Steve says, though it’s clear he thinks the whole thing to be hilarious.

“Live with it,” Robin winks (naturally failing at the action, but Steve is a good friend, who doesn’t mention that). Then she sees the time and curses: “Fuck, I have to run if I wanna catch my train. Don’t forget to text me,” she calls out already running.

“I won’t! Bye!” Steve yells at her as she sprints to the right platform, barely catching her train with the struggle it is to get her bike in with her.

Once she is finally seated she checks her phone, seeing a few texts from Steve that read:

You run funny

Oh my god that’s rude

Sorry

I love you

Pls, still move in with me

Robin snorts out loud and texts back: omg ur a fucking loser lmao, oc ill move in with u, dingus

Then she takes a second, before she adds: love u too, have a safe trip <3

Steve sends back a string of emojis that is more suited for a granddad, who should not be allowed near technology. Most of them are heart-shaped or heart-adjacent, so Robin decides it must be a positive thing as she smiles and shakes her head.

They continue texting for the entire time and Steve comes to visit the next day, pointing at all her furniture as he continues the argument of whether or not he could lift it by himself and if it would fit into the tram and train, while Robin is packing all her little trinkets.

Argyle is luckily down to help them out, so Robin never has to actually stop Steve from attempting to lift her desk and it turns out the dude is very cool. Robin hasn’t worked with him, but she has seen him around, but never talked to him.

As the new year starts, the two of them learn that Argyle is the only person at the faculty, who is seemingly not weirded out by their sudden attachment, because they get a lot of weird looks and curious questions when they show up together for the one little thesis talk at the starts, Steve giving Robin a piggyback ride.

However, the two of them shake it off easily. By then they’ve been living together for three months already and are very comfortable together. They just click, it just works for them.

Robin sometimes can’t believe how lucky she is with Steve (and she is thrilled that Steve thinks the same, a fact he informs her off multiple times a day, especially at the end when they’re chilling on the couch and she is running her hands through his hair, because it’s so so so soft).

When she got to that excavation and seethed that she could never be rid of ‘that fucking guy’ she couldn’t have imagined how true that statement was and how happy she’d be with that outcome, but here she is and the future has never looked brighter.

~~

A/N:

I feel like maybe they’re speed running the whole best friends thing, but they’re also stobin, so you know xp

(Also they totally still live together rn with ten cats and shit)

[c-o-r-r-u-p-t]

So we fell asleep last night

I didn’t mean to stay the night but I asked if we could pretend things were normal for a little while and she said she would be happy if I stayed

So I rolled another joint and we watched American dad as I sat on the foot of her bed

And when the joint went out she turned herself and put her head on my lap and fell asleep

It was 10pm, and I made myself as comfortable as I could and fell asleep with her

I woke up around 3:30 and got up and smoked and cried and read her letter again and repeated that cycle for a while until I turned the lights out and got back into my awkward little spot curled up opposite her like we were ying and yang and fell asleep again

She woke up around 5 and we got under the covers and went back to sleep and stayed like that until I woke up at 7 and she woke up at 8:30

And then in the morning we acted like nothing happened. I rolled a joint and made coffee and she put on music and we hung out.

I had a little collection of things I had picked up for her here and there over the year that I brought over the night before thinking I might not see her again. A sweater I thought she’d like, a shelf for her wall, a sticker book, a shirt I had borrowed. I also gave her a bracelet

I got this bracelet over a year ago. It’s matching actually, and the two halves form a heart magnetically. Ones pink and ones black. I got it for her before her birthday last year and wanted to give it to her last Valentine’s Day, but she was getting freaked out about how serious we were getting back then so I never gave it to her. I told her I wasn’t planning on ever giving it to her but now that there’s no expectation behind it I just wanted her to have it. As I was handing it to her and explaining how I didn’t expect her to wear it, it just might be nice to each have one, she immediately puts it on and tells me how much she loves it. So I say you’re welcome, happy Valentine’s Day. And it was painful but it was also a really sweet moment. I’m wearing my half too.

She then said how she still wanted to make up valentines day for me, so we agreed to meet up Saturday night for a late Valentine’s Day celebration. And that’ll be the same thing. Painful but really sweet.

We hung out the rest of the day until she left for work at 2:30. Gave each other a hug a little tighter than normal and an extra few kisses goodbye and said see you this weekend.

Idk how I feel right now. I’m obviously devastated because, once again, the person who I would do anything for just doesn’t want to put in the effort to keep me. Which means I lose my favorite person. I don’t get to spend my time watching this beautiful person just be herself. And I may complain a lot but just watching her have fun with herself made me so happy. I fell in love with her over and over and over again. And I would for the rest of my life. But she doesn’t want to be in love with someone. She’s falling in love with herself right now and that’s what she needs to do.

So yeah, I’m devastated. But at the same time, I’ve never felt more loved and respected. She finally just did what was best for me, even if that was admitting it wasn’t her and letting me go. It’s an awful feeling, but that’s what loving someone is. Doing what’s best for them even if it’s shit for you. And that’s what’s she’s doing.

Neither of us want this. We both wish we wanted and needed the same things, but we don’t. Taking care of her needs means neglecting mine, and vice versa, because they’re the opposite of each other. It’s not that we didn’t love each other. It’s not that either of us did anything wrong. It’s just not what we need. It doesn’t work. There’s no fault in that. It’s just sad.

So i guess we have these few days and then im going to have to really say goodbye to her. And im already looking for ways out of it but I know I shouldn’t be. She told me what she needed and she told me she can’t give me what i need or deserve. She loves me just not as much as i love her. She doesn’t want to just be friends with me or have our relationship change or to lose me, but doesn’t want to put effort into a relationship. So I can stay and just accept and be okay with getting less than I deserve for who knows who long. Or I can give up my favorite person, the first person to only make me fall harder the longer I know her, to go find someone else who wants the same things as me. I know I need to walk away and let us both get on with our lives but this is so awful. Neither of us want to say goodbye.

Happy Valentine’s Day.

[absolutelyfizzing]

unwanted feelings

james potter x reader

description - You'd had a crush on James Potter for years and when he kisses Lily Evans in front of you, you are heart broken. Later you find that he didn't actually feel as you expected and he explains himself.

warnings - some angst, unsure reader, fem pronouns, self doubt, negative self talk, not eating for a day cause reader is avoiding someone

word count - 2800

A/N - so this one isn't my best work by far but i wrote it so looks like its getting posted. i don't know why all of my reader inserts lately are so fem and sort of bubbly, i guess it's sort of what i'm aiming for for myself right now but i'm sorry if it maybe isn't coming off as relatable.

MASTERLIST

Your throat tightened in anxiety as you watched James zoom around the pitch. He was reckless when he was playing quidditch and it was one of the things that made him great at the game and an excellent captain. It was also the thing that nearly gave you a heart attack every time you watched him play. You went to every one of his games and you always wore something of his with his colors when you were in the stands. You were stood up on your seat and a slightly bored looking Remus sat to your right, reading from a book you didn't recognize. You'd thought that Sirius playing would be enough to keep him interested but sports was just not something he enjoyed watching. You were usually that way as well but whenever James was playing, suddenly you were the most intent spectator in the stands.

You were more worried than you should have been. More worried than what was appropriate for a friend to be. That's what you were, friends. That had been reinforced many times by the shaggy haired boy and you tried desperately to get it through your head before you embarrassed yourself one of these days. Sometimes though, you just couldn't help it.

Really you might have thought he reciprocated if you didn't know any better. You often got comments on what an attractive couple you guys were but each time it was quickly corrected by James. Normally along the lines of 'Oh god no, we are just friends. Purely platonic' , sometimes followed by a shudder or a gag even. It upset you every time to no end but you played along. You rarely, if ever, contributed to the shooting down of any feelings but that was never noticed by the man you had feelings for.

You'd had a crush on him since you were probably in your second year and now you were coming to the middle of your seventh. There were a million times that you almost said something but every time there was a reminder that you were not the one he had eyes for. It usually took the shape of disgust at the thought of dating you or commentary as he pined over the Evans girl who you felt you could never compete with. How could you when she was just perfect. You saw her to the left of you as she stood in the stands as well and your hands shook with insecurity before looking back toward the game. Your heart raced nearly as quickly as James did around the pitch and you prayed that the snitch would be caught soon so that you could get rid of the stress surrounding you. You felt a hand on your right shoulder and you looked over to find Remus had stood and was looking at you caringly.

"Are you alright, Y/N?" He asked softly and you tried your very best to soften your gaze and calm your stance so you appeared less concerned with someone that you shouldn't have that much interest in in the first place.

"Of course I am. When am I not?" You smiled before looking out at the pitch.

"When youre watching the guy you're in love with play a dangerous game that you don't like." He stated simply in response to the question you meant to be rhetorical and your eyes widened.

"I don't know what youre talking about." You nearly whispered and Remus smiled.

"I'm not gonna tell anyone Y/N but its not exactly subtle. It probably doesn't help that I know the look on your face because it's how I feel too watching Sirius play." He was still smirking but your anxiety was far from eased.

"Oh god, does he know?" You asked scaredly, terrified that the answer would be yes and you would have to stop spending time with him.

"Shockingly, no." You sighed out in relief but Remus continued. "You should tell him though or else he might end up moving on."

"What do you mean? There's nothing for him to move on from. Everyone knows he's in love with Evans and he has made it pretty clear that he is opposed to being anything more than a friendly relationship with me." You choked out, struggling with the words leaving your lips but knowing them to be true.

"I mean he has a minor crush on Evans but it's nothing compared to the annoyingly huge crush he has on you. He's probably just overcompensating for the fact that he's insecure and doesn't want you to reject him."

"Why are you telling me this?" You asked sincerely. You were friends with Remus as you were with the rest of the marauders but it was nothing compared to the friendship they held within their group. You knew Remus was more loyal to James than to you so you couldn't understand why, if it was true, Remus would be telling you at all.

"Because he is trying desperately to move on seeing as he is under the impression that you aren't into him and I'd hate to see him throw something away that could be really good for him." Remus smiled gently and you looked at him gratefully.

"I really appreciate you telling me and all but I just don't think I can believe you. I can't even count how many times he has made a big show of not liking me. I love him too much to ruin what we have and I know that if I confessed and it went bad that I would lose him all together. I would rather have him in my life in a way that hurts than not have him in it at all." You stated sadly and Remus sighed but nodded in understanding.

"I get it but just know that I'm being honest and pretty soon he is going to give up on it. I just want to see you both happy but if its too big of a leap, I understand. That's exactly the excuse he tells the rest of us too."

Suddenly cheers erupted from the stands, cutting your conversation with Remus off as everyone ran to rush the pitch. The snitch had been caught and gryffindor won. You were excited for James but you were also a little terrified to walk onto the pitch to see him with the now conflicted thoughts running through your head. Your thoughts were stopped by the image in front of you which was causing the whole crowd to cheer. James had pulled Lily Evans into a kiss in his excitement and your heart stopped. You felt nausea rise in your throat and Remus caught your eye with a sympathetic look. You didn't look at him for longer than a second and you ran off the pitch with tears streaming down your face. You found your way up to your dorm, pushing yourself to get there quickly before the common room filled with students celebrating their victory. James was always one to love attention so he would be getting crazy after the game which he did just about every time they won.

When you made it to your bed, you hurried under the covers, throwing the shirt you were wearing which belonged to James onto the floor. You felt your heart clench at the despair you felt. You wanted to be upset at Remus for getting your hopes up but you knew he was sincere in his want to help. Still you felt that you would probably not be able to face James in the weeks to come. Maybe, given a little time, you could be around him and not be upset at the world for taking away your chance with him. As you laid in your bed, you stared at the ceiling. You felt tears streaming down your face and you grew angry at yourself. He didn't owe you anything, he wasn't into you. That wasn't his fault and it was so unfair of you to expect anything more from him when your feelings were not his responsibility.

You weren't sure how long you laid there but you could hear the party start and end in the common room. It must have been late. Sleep wouldnt come though, you could just feel your heart continue to break and you were stuck in a loop of self pity. You made the decision that the following days would be spent away from James if you could at all help it. That was probably what he wanted anyway and it was the only way that you would get over the pain you were feeling. At some point your roomates entered your dorm and sleep overtook you for a few restless hours.

When you woke up, the sun was barely on the rise. You hurried up and got dressed and ready. You were planning on getting to breakfast early to avoid running into any of the marauders. You found your plans were not going how you wanted when you entered the great hall to find a head of red hair next to a mop of black. Your throat tightened and you quickly moved to turn and head out of the great hall. You heard a familiar voice call your name but you rushed out before you could give it too much thought. You knew that if you let him try to convince you, you would end up having a very upsetting breakfast with your best friend and his new lover. You would rather avoid breakfast.

Throughout the day, avoiding James was proving to be harder than you had thought it would be. You had many of your classes with him and you even sat next to him in a few. He was insistently trying to get you to open up about why you were suddenly so closed off to him but you remained shut off, reassuring him that nothing was wrong and you were just a little tired from the game the day before. You avoided lunch for the same reason as you had avoided breakfast and you felt yourself starting to get a bit lightheaded. Your afternoon was spent avoiding James but soon he was preoccupied with Lily anyway.

You were hid in a corner of the library when a cough alerted you of someone's presence. You looked up to find the very eyes you hadn't wanted to see.

You pushed it down with a gulp and smiled a bit at him, trying desperately to keep the tears at bay but they were growing harder to hold back after keeping everything pent up all day. It probably didn't help that you were hungry and therefor a bit more emotional. You could feel the tears sitting in your eyes, waiting for something to go wrong so they had an excuse to escape you.

"I don't know what I did wrong." He mumbled while looking at the floor in front of you and you took a deep breath.

"There's nothing wrong James, I promise. It's just been a long day." You smiled and your heart picked up speed.

"Since when did we lie to each other?" He questioned and your heart stopped. You were left unsure how to respond.

"Since the truth would cause more damage than good." You spoke honestly. At this he looked up at you and your eyes met. A tear left you and James immediately moved to comfort you but you tried to move away, standing quickly to evade him. You regretted it as spots filled your vision, the lack of food catching up to you. You know that you turned a bit green for a moment because James looked slightly scared.

"Y/N I dont know whats wrong but you look like you should be getting to the hospital wing. You don't look well."

Before you could answer you felt your vision blacken and your legs give out before your consciousness left you completely.

When you woke up, you knew you were in the hospital wing. It smelled sterile and the bed was stiff underneath you. When you started to wake madam pomfrey came to check on you.

"You can't go around with an empty stomach like that again, do you hear me?" She scolded, though her eyes were soft. You nodded solemnly. "I was alerted that you hadn't been to the great hall to eat all day, you have to know that isn't good for you. I'm gonna have a prefect watch out for you the next couple days to make sure you're eating at meal times. Understood?" She asked again and once more you nodded before leaning back and sighing. You looked at your surroundings and were surprised to see the black haired boy next to your bed fast asleep. Your heart took off again and you felt trapped by your environment. As anxiety swirled around in your chest, James had woken up a bit.

"You're awake." James sighed, laced with relief. You still wouldn't make eye contact with him.  You felt the bed dip as he sat on it and you looked up to watch him put his head in his hands as he leaned over. You felt guilt fill your chest more than it already had from hating that you felt any claim over the man in front of you. You knew you were in the wrong and the last thing you wanted was to cause him any pain. "Remus talked to me." He almost whispered.

At that moment, you wished you could have apparated to anywhere else in the world. You looked back down at your lap and tears were once again brought to your eyes. You felt betrayal that Remus would reveal your feelings to James.

"I'm sorry." You apologized and you fiddled with your fingers.

"Why are you the one apologizing, I'm the one whos behaved poorly." He assures and you shake your head.

"That's not fair to yourself. You're allowed to want to be with whomever you want and my feelings should have no effect on that. You've made it clear for years that you weren't interested in me and it is my fault that I couldn't take a hint. I'm so sorry." You gushed out and tears started to fall from your eyes. You felt James get up from your bed and you prepared him to leave but instead you felt arms wrap around you and a kiss came to your head.

"Y/N I have had feelings for you for years. I was just always too scared for myself to even consider that you might feel the same." He whispered out but you felt only a different kind of pain. Even though he had now admitted his feelings, he was still dating Lily. Not you. Almost as if he could hear your thoughts he spoke quietly. "I broke it off with Evans." You pulled away immediately.

"What? Why would you do that?" You asked quickly and before he had a chance to answer you feared the worst. "Oh god is it because of me? James please dont let my feelings have any bearing on who you want to date, I can't stand the thought of being the reason you broke up. Even if we do have feelings for each other, you deserve a chance with Lily if that's what you want."

"It was mutual, actually. She understood that I had feelings for you and she said she had a crush on someone else. It just seemed like I had kissed her a bit rashly on the quidditch pitch and we agreed that we shouldn't have gotten together in the first place. It was only a day anyway." He reassured as he explained himself and you calmed a bit.

"So what does this mean." You got out, almost inaudibly.

"It means that, if you'll have me, I'd like to take you out on a date." He stated as if it were the simplest thing in the world and you almost couldn't believe your ears. Before you were even thinking you were nodding quickly, causing spots to once again fill your vision and James grabbed your shoulders to stabilize you before you both laughed. He pulled you by your shoulders toward him and he caught your lips in a kiss that somehow expressed all of the years of repressed feelings. When he pulled away he smiled at you and sat back on your bed. He spent the rest of the day with you in the hospital wing talking about all of the places he was going to take you in the coming weeks.

[cloudlessly-light]

But until the sunrise, hold tight - chapter 5

A/N: Updating a day early because tomorrow will be a bit crazy for me, hope you like it!

Summary: There were too many reasons why he shouldn’t give in to his attraction towards Emily Prentiss. But all those reasons he’s spent months focusing on disappears the moment he finds himself alone with her in a motel room.  

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: Angst, cheating,

October 2007

The following day she walks into the bullpen with a heavy feeling. She wasn’t ready to face him, it had only been a few hours, barely any time to process what had happened. She didn’t dare look towards his office but knew that he was in there, instead she zeroed in on the coffee in the kitchenette, not even bothering to leave her bag at her desk. She could do this, she tried to remind herself, she was trained to not show her feelings.

“Whoa, long night?” Derek slides in beside her, too cheerful, too imposing.

“You could say that.” She mutters as she reaches for the coffee pot and a mug, fills it to the brim and takes a long drink without looking at him.  

“Wanna tell me about it?” He wiggles his eyebrows and smiles but when Emily gives him nothing but a blank stare his expression quickly changes to one of concern and he strokes her arm. “Hey, you okay?”

“Fine.” She smiles, but knows immediately that he sees right through it. Luckily he doesn’t have a chance to ask her again, JJ walking towards them with determined steps.

“Case. Round table room.” The look on her face lets them know that it’s bad and they’re both quick to follow her.

She’s just sat down when Spencer enters the room, a smile on his young face.

“Happy birthday Emily!” He greets her and she sees the way Aaron tenses in her peripheral. He had forgotten that today was her birthday, not that Emily really minded. She hadn’t celebrated her birthday in years.

“Oh so that’s why you’re tired. Someone got a late birthday gift?” Derek gives her a nudge and smiles brightly at her and she forces a chuckle in return.

“Yeah, something like that. Thank you.” She smiles at Spencer but she can feel his dark eyes on her, piercing her skin as she tries to keep her emotions at bay, tries to not let him know just how much she’s hurting.

“Happy birthday.” Aaron mumbles and for the first time since she’s gotten to work, their eyes meet.

“Thank you.” She knows her tone is anything but genuine and that he picks up on it immediately, he knows that what she’s really saying is fuck you.

 ****

She ends up next to him on the plane and she thinks that this must be the universe’s twisted way to get back at her. She focuses on the file in her lap, listens intensely as Spencer tells them about arsonists and ignores that his cologne is filling her nostrils.

She’s not surprised that she’s paired with Derek, nor that Aaron decides to go to the station while she and Derek are going to the crime scene. They needed distance from each other, she knew that. But that didn’t mean that her chest didn’t ache when they locked eyes, or that she was sure he had to force himself not to reach for her as they left the jet.

 ****

 “Prentiss, do you mind telling me what’s going on?” Derek asks as Emily once again snaps at him, her mood still sour, and had only gotten worse throughout the day.

“Like you said this morning, rough night.” She rummages through what’s left after the fire, looking for any evidence that the killer might have left behind.

“You know that you can talk to me right? If something is bothering you. Is it the birthday blues?” His large hand lands on her shoulder and she lets it comfort her for a moment before turning to face him.

“I can’t talk about this.” She gives him a sad smile and he slowly nods.

“Is there anything I can do to help?” He offers, eyes not leaving her, eyebrows knitted together as he takes in his friend.

“No, but I’ll let you know if I think of something.” She smiles then, a real smile that reaches her eyes and Derek finds himself relaxing slightly.

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

“When we get back, I’m taking you out for a birthday drink.” He can tell that she’s about to object but he quickly cuts her off “And you’re not allowed to say no.”

She looks at him, can feel herself give into her friend and she appreciates that he’s doing what he can to cheer her up, without even knowing what the problem was. She’s pretty sure that if he knew, things would have been different.

“A drink sounds good.” She concedes and Derek’s bright smile makes her laugh, somehow feeling a little lighter.

 ****

 They manage to catch the unsub in three days, and it’s been three days of torture for Aaron. He felt lost as he watched Emily from across the room, wanted to reach out to her, wanted to take away the hurt he saw on her face when she thought no one was looking. That was the problem, he always managed to find her, to seek her out even in the most crowded spaces. When he realized that he had ended things on her birthday he wanted to kick himself, he had known about her birthday, had even bought a gift that was still in a drawer in his desk back at Quantico.

He knew he was being unfair, that he hurt her and his body ached with the guilt as he watched her close herself off, become the woman he once had been weary of. She kept a safe distance, he did too. But he wanted to talk to her, wanted to apologize, wanted her to know that he never meant for things to go this far. He wanted her to know that she had been right.

“Are you ready to get out of here?” JJ asked as she pulled things down from the board to be neatly sorted into boxes.

“Yes, have you talked to the pilot?” He tried to push her out of his head for now, tried to ignore that she was in his line of sight as she talked to one of the cops across the room.

“Yeah, standing by and ready when we are.” She smiled at him but he was barely meeting her eye. She wasn’t stupid, she knew that something was going on with him, that something had been going on for months, but she hadn’t dared voice it. “Hotch, are you okay? You seem… distracted.”

“I’m fine.” His eyes narrowed at her and she visibly gulped. They were close, they were closer than most people thought, but sometimes it was hard to know where the lines from friend to subordinate crossed.

“Okay.” She pulled another picture from the board, changed her focus from him to the work and she could hear him sigh.

“Haley is unhappy.” He didn’t really know why he told her, but he couldn’t deny that telling someone felt like relief.

“Are you happy, Hotch?” She never beat around the bush with him, it was one of the things he admired about her but he didn’t answer. JJ turned back to him, her blue eyes staring at him with nothing but comfort. “She loves you, you love her, but sometimes even that isn’t enough.”

He didn’t know what to say to that. Instead he looked across the room and found Emily still talking to the same cop.

“I want to be out of here within the hour.” He ordered quietly and without missing a beat JJ nodded, the conversation was over.

 November 2007

It had been almost four weeks since that night in her apartment. It had been four weeks spent avoiding each other, careful excuses not to be paired together, few words exchanged between them. She could still feel something break inside of her at the memories of him, of his soft touch and teasing smile when he made fun of her cooking. She missed him and she hated herself for it.

Somehow they made it work, they worked the cases and stayed clear of each other. But Aaron could still feel himself longing to feel her skin, to hear her laugh at something he said. He’s at home and ignores that Haley has another mark on her skin that was not from him, ignores that he dreams of dark hair and flushed skin as he sleeps next to his wife. He had ended his affair but he knows that Haley hasn’t and he doesn’t care. It should make him walk away, should make him angry, but all it does is make him want Emily more.

 “Aaron, are you hiding something from me?” Haley asks one night as they lay in bed, neither of them asleep as they pretend they aren’t keeping distance from each other.

“I’m fine, why do you ask?” He stares at the ceiling, knows that she is as well.

“You’ve been home more but you seem… sad.” She has known him for so long that he sometimes forgets that she can read him better than anyone.

“I’m okay.” He turns to look at her then, gives her a chance to come clean when he’s too afraid to. “Are you hiding something from me?”

It’s only there for a split second, but he catches the way she tenses even in the dark. Then she faces him and he almost believes her when she speaks.

“No honey, why would I do that?”

They turn away from each other at the same time, silence again filling their bedroom. He knew that he lost his chance to tell her when Jack starts crying from his bedroom and she’s up and out of bed before he’s even had time to lift the covers.

 November 2007

“I am sorry.”

The words are spoken quietly but in the silence of the empty office they seem loud, almost unbearably so. She looks up from the file she’s working on and she realizes that they’re completely alone, the hour late. Aaron is standing above her on the catwalk, dark eyes filled with something she’d only call anguish and in a twisted way it makes her feel better.

“You made me the other woman. Made me think maybe we could be more than that.” She says calmly, almost resigned to the fact and he lets out a heavy breath as his eyes fall to the floor.

“I know. It’s been unfair to you, it’s unfair to Haley.” When he looks back at her, he sees her bottom lip trembling and he fights the urge to walk down towards her. “I am sorry,” He says again because he is, he hates that he’s hurt her “I’m sorry for everything.”

For a few seconds she doesn’t say anything, the silence thick with tension until she sighs. She forces the tears away, lets the word sit with her for a moment before looking back at him.

“It wasn’t like I didn’t know you were married. Whatever we did together, I was a part of that.” She conceded, because as much as she would have loved to blame all of this on him, she was also to blame. “I made mistakes as well. And,” She ignores the way her voice wavers slightly “I am sorry too.”

That’s when he moves, quickly walking down the stairs until he’s standing in front of her and she stands up, not wanting him to tower over her. He doesn’t touch her and she doesn’t reach for him.

“I want you here.” He tells her and he can see the way her eyebrows furrow in confusion “I don’t know what you’ve been thinking but I want you to know that I don’t want you to leave this team. I want you to stay and I want us to work through this.”

“I’ve never thought about leaving.” She answers truthfully. He’s closer to her than he’s been in weeks and the familiar scent of his cologne is as comforting as it’s hurting.

“We’ll be okay?” He asks and he can feel himself leaning closer to her, the warmth of her skin calling to him.

“We’ll be okay.” She doesn’t know if that’s the truth. But she wants it to be. With a soft breath she pulls back, moves to grab her bag to put some distance between them because she knew she wouldn’t be able to resist him, her fingers twitching to touch him. “See you tomorrow, Hotch.”

He nodded and stepped back as well. She hadn’t called him Aaron since that night in her apartment and he missed the way it sounded coming from her lips. That was his last thought as he watched her walk through the glass doors. He missed her.

[honeypiehotchner]

kiss me on the mouth and set me free (Damon Salvatore x fem!Reader) -- one shot

Hi my lovelies! I know this is not my usual content whatsoever, but I’ve been watching TVD with my best friend (@treat-winchesterswith-kindness​) and she was begging for a Damon smut, so this is the result. And I have to say...I enjoyed the hell out of writing this one xx.

Beta’d by @treat-winchesterswith-kindness​ and @a-radical-notion <3

Warnings: (Birthday) SMUT! (Slight) virginity kink, Daddy kink, unprotected sex, fingering, oral (f receiving), biting (of course), size kink

Damon’s fingers touch gently underneath your chin, tilting your head, forcing your eyes to meet his. Not for compliance, he’d never do that to you. But for attention, for focus, for sincerity. He wants you to know his true intentions, the kind that only you can see when you’re looking into his eyes.

The usual mischief isn’t there. Instead, swirling in his eyes, are the softest emotions you’ve ever seen. The most genuine. The warmest.

Slowly, you nod. Your silent, willing compliance. Your silent, please.

As he leans forward to connect your lips--

“Good morning, sleeping beauty.”

Your dream is ripped right out from under you by the smirking vampire standing in your bedroom. “Damon, what the hell?” You sit up in bed, rubbing your forehead. “What the fuck do you want?”

“Yikes, what’s with the attitude? My feelings are fragile, you know.” He grabs a pillow off your floor and hugs it to his chest as he quite literally falls onto the reading chair you have by your window.

Your only response is a glare.

“Come on, do you not know what day it is?”

“No,” you mutter, dropping your hands onto the bed in defeat. “What day is it?”

His expression is surprise, sadness, and unamused all at once. “Your birthday.”

“Oh,” you chuckle. You guess that is today. You’ve been so busy lately. You knew it was coming up, but you weren’t aware it was coming up this quickly. And now it’s here, and you have no plans.

Or at least you thought you didn’t have plans.

“Up, up, up,” Damon orders, waving his hands at you as he stands. “We’re celebrating, you’re not allowed to say no. Up.”

One thing you’ve learned about being friends with Damon Salvatore is that once he’s set in his ways, he isn’t budging. So, despite feeling like lead has been injected into your bones, you let him drag you out of bed -- literally. He reaches both hands out and you accept, wrapping your fingers around his and allowing him to tug you to your feet.

You and Damon have always been close. More than close, actually. You’ve never kissed or anything, at least not on the lips. He kissed your forehead once when you were sobbing over something. You kissed his cheek once in public when a guy wouldn’t stop hitting on you. And the two of you have held hands before, but more as an “I don’t want to lose you” measure in large crowds. You love concerts, and Damon does too (especially rock) but he hates the crowds because he hates losing sight of you.

You wouldn’t be surprised if everyone just assumed you and Damon are dating. You know the two of you aren’t -- because he’s definitely had sex with other women while you’ve been friends with him -- but you also know his behavior might lead others to believe otherwise. You also know that’s kind of his whole intention.

He’s protective. It’s what he does best. When you’re next to him, no one who isn’t your friend will look at you. And when you’re not with him, you’ve noticed the number of people who approach you with ill intentions has considerably decreased.

Once you’re known indirectly (or directly, you guess) as Damon Salvatore’s girl, no one comes near you. Exactly how Damon likes.

You don’t mind it. You hate being bothered. You’re surprised you let Damon bother you for as long as you did before you caved. You can’t lie, you liked it. You liked him. You still do.

But Damon isn’t the settling down type. He’s not the type to be monogamous, at least not from your experience. You do wonder at times what his goal was whenever he’d tell you about his sexual encounters. It wasn’t like he was bragging, but you couldn’t help but feel like he was trying to get a reaction out of you.

So, obviously, you didn’t give him one.

Damon doesn’t always get what he wants. He just thinks he does. And you like to make him believe that.

“Are you ready yet? I’m starving,” Damon calls from the hallway.

You roll your eyes. “No. And you can’t be starving, you’re dead.”

“I know,” he smirks, sauntering into your room. “Look at you.”

“Look at me?” You scoff. “I wore this outfit last week.”

“Yeah, but you look...hotter, I don’t know. Maybe it’s your birthday.”

You roll your eyes again, a habit you do most often when you’re with Damon. “Whatever. Where are you taking me?”

“Oh, just, all your favorite places.”

“You’re full of shit, Damon.”

+++

After a full day of doing all of your favorite things, most of which Damon hates, by the way. You have no idea why he’s been entertaining you all day, but you’re assuming it’s only because today is your birthday. He’ll go back to his usual self tomorrow and hang out with you only when it doesn’t involve things he hates doing.

“Which one of your comfort movies are we watching to end the day?”

You eye Damon skeptically from the kitchen. He’s currently on the couch, flicking through Netflix lazily.

You don’t want to question any of this until tomorrow, so you tell him which movie to queue up, and you hear him muffle a groan.

You return to the living room with a giant bowl of popcorn, plopping it in the middle of you and Damon. He presses play on the movie, and you eat your popcorn with a smile.

Of course, you should’ve known it was too good to be true for Damon to keep his mouth shut all day because about halfway through the movie, he drops the bomb you had been waiting on.

“So...you’ve really never had sex?”

You roll your eyes, but don’t respond.

Earlier today when the two of you were walking around, Damon kept pointing out cute guys. And they were cute, you’ll give him that, but you had no idea what his deal was. After five or six guys are pointed out, Damon asks you, “Come on, you’ve never had birthday sex? A one-night stand on your special day?”

You had laughed and shoved his arm, and confessed, “I’ve never had any sex, period. So no thank you. Can we please go?”

You knew it was way too good to be true when Damon dropped the subject immediately and moved on, letting you drag him away to your other favorite spot.

Of course, you should’ve known he was only waiting for the right time. You did know. Which is why you haven’t answered him right now.

But he keeps going.

“What about held hands? Kissed anyone on the lips?”

“First of all, you’ve held my hand, and second of all, of course I’ve kissed someone on the lips, I’m not a nun!” You lie.

He looks skeptical. “When was it?”

“I was…” He gives you the look harder, not compelling you, but might as well have been. “Fine. I’ve never had sex, and I’ve never had my first kiss. Are you happy now?”

“Of course I’m not happy!” He gives you another look, this one like you���ve gone batshit crazy. “You’re missing out on one of life’s greatest experiences!”

“And this is exactly why I never told you,” you toss a popcorn kernel at him, watching it bounce off his forehead. He looks up at it, but he doesn’t blink. “Not everyone thinks sex is all there is to life, Damon.”

“Okay, that’s not what I meant--”

“That’s exactly what you meant.”

“I just mean if...you’re waiting…”

“Please, stop. Talking.”

“You don’t need to wait.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Because I’m right here.”

You stare at him blankly. “What?”

He shrugs nonchalantly like he’s not the biggest manwhore around. “I’m here.”

“You’re joking. Quit fucking with me.”

“I’m not fucking with you-- Well, at least not yet--”

“Oh my God, shut up!” You laugh, swatting at his arm, hating the way you’ve gone hot all over.

Damon Salvatore is attractive. Scratch that-- He’s more than attractive. He’s the kind of attractive everyone says they want in a guy, but obviously, it’s too much to ask for, so they settle for a little less. You can’t ask everyone to look like a God, but Damon does -- though you’ll never let him hear those words leave your lips. Never.

The prospect of having sex with Damon has crossed your mind more than once. Probably a thousand times, if you’re honest, but you always knew it would never happen. He’s Damon Salvatore. First of all, he doesn’t do anything besides casual sex, and second of all, you’re pretty sure his sex only includes experienced partners. You don’t exactly fit either of those criteria.

You never even thought he looked at you that way. You figured if he had, he would’ve made more jokes or insinuated things. But he never has with you.

“I’m being serious, you know.”

At this point, fifteen more minutes of the movie have gone by. But you haven’t been paying attention.

“Can I ask why?” You say, keeping your eyes focused on the TV screen.

“Why what?”

“Why now? Why are you suddenly interested? Because if it’s just to get your dick wet, I will kick you out.”

“What do you mean suddenly interested?” He counters.

“What do you mean?” You fire back, finally looking at him. “The whole time we’ve been friends, you’ve had more one-night stands than I can count. You never flirt with me. And just today you were trying to find someone for me to have birthday sex with. Are you serious?”

“Okay, yes, I have had a lot of one-night stands, and yes, I was being...obnoxious today, but I have flirted with you.”

“Since when?”

“Since every day I’ve known you!” He cries. “Did you not notice?”

You slump back into the couch cushions. “Well, I guess not.”

More minutes pass. The movie plays and you try to pay attention, silently wishing the couch would swallow you whole right now. This shouldn’t be embarrassing, but it is.

“I’m not saying you have to have sex tonight, but whenever you’re ready...I’m here.”

“Of course you’ll always be there for that.”

“You know I didn’t mean it that way,” he says, and you would’ve brushed him off again if he wasn’t looking into your eyes so deeply, and reaching for your hand. Not in a way that insinuates anything, but for comfort.

Silently, you turn your hand over and let him hold it. “What if...What if I’m not ready for sex yet, but…”

“But?”

“But…” You sigh, averting your eyes back to the movie. “What if I want you to kiss me?”

“I can do that.”

You nod, but you don’t move. Your hand stays gently held in his, your eyes glued to the movie. You suggested it yourself, yet you’re nervous.

Distantly, you hear the bowl of popcorn moving to the coffee table. You feel the cushion beside you dip slightly as Damon scoots over. And then…

“You’re going to have to look at me if you want me to kiss you.”

You feel his fingers gently lifting your chin, turning your gaze toward him.

“Are you sure?”

You roll your eyes, not as harsh this time because you’re too busy buzzing with the fact that his fingers are still on your chin. “Just shut up and kiss me.”

“Okay, okay,” he teases, his thumb stroking your jaw.

He moves slow, not wanting to rush you, but he moves so slow that you wish he’d use his speed. Before you can make a comment about it, though, his lips are finally on yours.

Kissing isn’t what you expected. But since it’s with Damon, it’s amazing.

He still moves as slow as possible, his hand moving from your chin to your jaw, cupping your face, pulling you closer. You have no idea what to do with your hands, so you leave them in your lap, curled into fists.

Damon pulls back, pecking your lips once, then twice, before finally pulling away.

“How’s that for a first kiss?”

You don’t bother responding. Instead, you grip his shirt in both hands and pull him back to you, kissing him harder. A growl releases itself from the back of Damon’s throat, his teeth nipping at your bottom lip in retaliation.

You open up for him instantly, fists releasing his shirt when his tongue strokes into your mouth gently. His hands find your waist and squeeze, massaging your skin, tugging you closer until there’s practically not even a centimeter of space between the two of you. You wrap your arms around his neck, a small whine leaving your lips when he pulls back.

“Damon…” You whisper, your vision hazy, but in the best way.

“Look at me,” he says softly, his lips ghosting over yours.

You blink slowly, looking back into his eyes. “Hm?”

“Do you want more?”

You nod pathetically, still annoyed with him for stopping.

“Words, little one,” he taps your nose with his index finger. “What do you want?”

“More,” you say almost instantly. “I need more, Damon.”

“More it is,” he smirks, giving you what you need.

You inhale deeply when he kisses you, and when you exhale, your breath fills Damon’s lungs. Your fingers thread through his hair at the base of his skull, your arms keeping you steady around his neck. His lips devour you in every form of the word, claiming you, coaxing you to open up to him. His hands tug on your hips, pulling you into his lap, straddling his legs.

Your comfort movie plays on the TV in the background, the volume turned down, but still there. Somehow, it makes more of your nerves melt away. Damon’s touch makes the rest of them disappear.

Damon pushes your hair back from your face as he holds you captive with his kiss. Another nip to your skin and he pulls back.

“I want more,” you blurt, “but I’m not a one night stand.”

“You are most definitely not a one night stand,” he replies softly, pecking your lips. “If you want more, I’ll give you more.”

“Give me more,” you all but demand, rocking your hips. “Now.”

“Ah, ah, ah,” he tightens his grip on your hips, stopping your movement. “Just because it’s your first time doesn’t mean you get to do whatever you want.”

You fully stop your movement out of surprise and annoyance. “Why not?”

“Because…” He thumbs the pout from your lips. “I don’t want you to hurt yourself.”

“Damon,” you groan. “Just because I’m a virgin doesn’t mean I haven’t fingered myself.”

He chuckles lowly, grabbing one of your hands and lifting it up into view. “I am a lot bigger than your fingers, princess.”

You shudder at the nickname and fail to hide it.

His usual mischievous smirk stretches across his lips. “You like that?”

You nod. No use in trying to hide it.

“Princess,” he murmurs. “What do you want?”

“Fuck me,” you say proudly, already tired of the teasing.

He smooths his hands down your arms. “That’s not asking nicely.”

“Please, will you please just fuck me already?”

“Nice of you to say please,” Damon replies, pressing a kiss to your lips. “But I need to get you ready first. Don’t pout, kitten. Come on.”

He shifts his weight to lift you up, laying you back on the couch. Slowly, your pants are dragged down your legs. You wait for him to take your panties, too, but he doesn’t.

You lift your head, but Damon stops you before the comment leaves your mouth. “Patience, princess.”

You throw your head back into the pillow with a groan, one that quickly morphs into a moan when he mouths your clit over your panties. His tongue darts out to tease your hole through the fabric, smirking into your pussy as you squirm. He thumbs your clit before massaging your lips.

“There we go,” he murmurs. “I can feel you getting wet, and that’s what we need, Princess, I don’t want to hurt you...not unless you ask.”

A flash of a wet dream you had a few nights ago, where Damon’s mouth was in your neck, his teeth breaking skin only barely, but enough to taste.

“Did you just get wetter? Oh, Princess…”

The sound of ripping fabric fills your ears when Damon’s teeth tear your panties away. The sudden cool air on your wet pussy causes your hips to buck, and Damon’s hands promptly push them back down.

He crawls up your body, briefly paying attention to your collarbones and neck, daring to nip there, but not breaking the skin, and leaving as quick as he came.

His entire body covers yours as he leans down, pressing sweet kisses to your lips, smirking when he finds your lips already parting for him. And when your hands find the buttons on his shirt, he chuckles, but keeps kissing you, fiercer now as you unbutton every last one, leaving his shirt hanging wide open.

“You feeling good?”

“Do you really need to ask?”

“Just checking, baby,” he coos, kissing both of your cheeks, then your nose.

He slides back down your body, settling over your hips. Now, without the barrier of your panties, you can feel his breath on your pussy. Before you have time to process that feeling, though, Damon is diving in headfirst -- literally.

Damon is not a stranger to going down on a woman, and it’s actually his favorite thing in the world to do.

He doesn’t even try holding you down. One arm is stretched across your hips, while his other hand is busy massaging your lips, coating his fingers in your wetness. You expect him to thrust his fingers into you then, but a loud moan has you looking down to see Damon’s fingers in his mouth, tasting you.

He opens his eyes and catches yours, smirking around his fingers as he pulls them out of his mouth. “You taste good.”

You scrunch up your nose, earning a laugh from him.

“I’ll make you taste one day, kitten, you might like it.”

“Hmph.”

“Don’t start pouting now,” he says, keeping his eyes locked with yours as his fingers trail down to your entrance. “Just one for now, Princess,” he whispers, spreading your lips and pressing in.

One isn’t much, so all that you feel is pleasure and heat in your core.

“More,” you whine, lying back down, breathless. “Please.”

“There’s my good girl,” he coos, kissing your hip bone. “Asking so nicely. I’ll make you feel good, don’t worry.”

Another finger enters you and it is a bit of a stretch, but still not much. He was right, his fingers are bigger than yours -- and you’re sure his cock is bigger, too -- but it’s still not enough.

“More,” you cry, the word breaking into a choked moan when he scissors his fingers, opening you up.

“There it is,” he smiles, leaning down to flick your clit with his tongue before sucking gently on the bundle of nerves. He continues scissoring his fingers until he hears your moans growing quieter, and that’s when he adds a third finger.

Now you feel the stretch, but it isn’t painful. Your moan is louder than you expect, your back arching off the couch, and Damon swears for a second he might’ve stumbled upon an angel.

A small whimper leaves your lips when he curls his fingers, pressing into your g-spot ever so slightly. Not hard enough for immense pleasure because he doesn’t want to wear you out immediately, and he knows you aren’t used to that level of pleasure -- not yet at least.

He pauses his assault on your hip bone, never biting hard enough to leave a mark, to return to your clit. He’s not sure if you know it, but you’re close. He can feel your walls fluttering and squeezing his fingers, the tell-tale signs.

Once you feel his mouth back on your clit, sucking and nibbling gently, you’re blinded by the pleasure that crashes into you. It’s as if the skies opened up and struck you with lightning straight from the sun.

When Damon moans into your pussy, the vibrations send waves of pleasure through your every fiber, and you have no choice but to cum all over his fingers.

Something you do when you’re pleasuring yourself is you stop almost immediately, but Damon continues, milking every last bit of your orgasm until you’ve calmed down. He leans his head on your hip while he continues massaging your walls until he can pull his fingers out without hurting you or startling you.

The emptiness you feel when his fingers leave you is a little startling, but only so much so that you need something else inside of you. Which is why while he’s busy sucking on his fingers again, making a complete mess, you’re sitting up and tossing your shirt over your head.

“Woah,” Damon says around his fingers, his eyes widening when your bra comes off, too. “Hello.”

You almost glare at him. “I need you inside of me.”

Damon raises an eyebrow, licking his lips. “Pardon me?”

“Please,” you groan. “Please, I need more, I…”

“Shhh,” he shushes you, his fingers massaging soft circles into your thigh. “Are you sure?”

“Yes. Please.”

He nods. “Lay back, Princess. I’ve got you, don’t worry.”

You obey, mostly out of exhaustion than compliance, and Damon knows that. You’ve always been a bit of a brat, but he’s seeing even more of it tonight.

He makes a show of shrugging off his shirt, watching you watching him, your arm bent underneath your head to prop you up. One leg is up and the other is down, and you look like Heaven.

Damon undoes his belt and tosses it away, taking note of the way your eyes follow it all the way to the floor. You don’t even look back to him until his pants are hitting the floor, and him stepping out of them catches your attention again. Black boxer briefs are all that is left, and they’re barely containing him.

He loves how intently you’re watching him. The genuine curiosity sparks in his eyes when he pulls his underwear down, kicking them aside. You blink slowly, marveling at the sight of him. He’s...pretty.

“Like what you’re seeing, baby?”

You nod slowly. “Mhm. Taste?”

“Next time,” he promises, kneeling on the couch, pushing your legs apart. “Tonight is all about you, Princess.” He presses a kiss to your lips to seal the deal, and you accept it, reminded of how empty you feel now that your legs are spread again.

You go quiet when you feel his cock nudging your entrance. He stretched you, but he feels so big.

“Is it...Is it gonna fit?” You ask, your arms wrapping around his neck again for support.

“I’ll go slow,” he murmurs, kissing your forehead, cheeks, nose, and chin. “You tell me when to stop, okay?”

“Okay.”

He kisses you again, sweeter and softer this time, but it’s only a distraction for when he initially enters you. He could tell you needed the distraction, and he was correct.

When you begin to feel him, your nails scratch his skin and he stops, staying there, waiting for your word.

He goes slow as promised every time you ask for more, and stops whenever you say so, or when your whimper is louder than expected.

Soon, though, he’s fully seated inside of you, and you feel sufficiently full. At peace. And ready for him to fucking move.

“Move, please, Damon, I need you to--”

He pulls out slightly and snaps his hips, knocking the breath out of you. He watches your face, but there are no traces of pain, only pleasure.

A rhythm slowly forms, one that you enjoy, until you need more and when you ask for more this time, Damon doesn’t hold back.

So much so that it forces a new name from your lips.

You didn’t mean to say it, but when he stops moving out of surprise, you can’t help but whine it once more. “Daddy, please.”

“God,” Damon groans, dropping his head into the crook of your neck. The rhythm this time is slow and dizzying. “Say it again.”

“Daddy,” you whimper instantly, bucking your hips, pulling him in deeper.

“Just like that,” he murmurs, lips ghosting over your vein. “You have no idea how hard it is not to just…” He pauses, letting his teeth graze over the sensitive skin there. “And when you call me that…”

“Daddy…” You cry out, feeling him nudging against your cervix.

“My sweet little girl,” he breathes. “Letting me take her virginity. That’s my Princess, my baby…” His teeth graze your skin again, teasing you, and then…

“Please,” you mumble, closing your eyes. “Do it.”

He freezes, and you feel it, but you’re tired of him freezing, so you wrap your hand around the back of his head, pressing his mouth into your neck.

“Do it,” you repeat, even more breathless. “Please.”

Damon can’t resist, not when you feel this good wrapped around him, when you’re begging, when you’re pushing him closer, yearning for it.

He speeds up his rhythm, chasing his high. He doesn’t trust himself to cum with his teeth in your neck, but he can cum right before, and sink them in while you’re cumming. The pain won’t be as intense while you’re mid-orgasm.

Almost as soon as you feel Damon’s seed spilling inside of you, your back is arching, your own waves of pleasure shooting through your body, your second orgasm of the night capturing you. And when you least expect it, because you assumed he had decided against you, Damon’s teeth sink into your neck.

It’s a feeling you’ve never felt before, but it’s one you’ll be asking for more often.

Your body relaxes, Damon’s now half-hard cock sitting snugly inside of you while he drinks from you, and when he finally is done, you’re floating blissfully.

You catch only a glimpse of his face before it returns to normal, and he kisses you gently to get your attention.

“How was your first time?”

“Amazing,” you murmur, scratching gently at the base of his skull. “Really...amazing.”

“Do you want me to move?”

“No,” you shake your head. “Stay.”

“Okay, well I need to pull out of you, but then we can cuddle.”

“Fine,” you huff, dropping your arms from his neck.

Slowly, he pulls out of you, leaving you empty once more, despite the pleasure still thrumming through your body. “You can warm my cock another time, okay Princess?”

“Hmph.”

He stands and shakes his head. “Alright, it’s nap time for you.”

You look up hopefully. “Bed?”

“Yeah, come on.” He slides his arms underneath your legs and back, lifting you up bridal style.

You’re asleep in his arms before he even makes it to your room.

[arvinsescape]

Maybe tom being a huge jerk to reader, maybe fwb, so when they are fighting, he is saying some shit like: you need to get over this teenage crush of yours, like he's treating like an obsessive fan, and you talk back like: you know what? I feel so bad for your fans out there who have no idea how big of an asshole you are OMG YOU COULD CALL HIM A MOVIE STAR but like mocking you know?

A/N: This was the angst turned to fluff I didn't know I wanted!! Thank you so much for the request!! I hope you enjoy 💕💕

Warnings: Mentions of sex, Language.

It had become almost routine, he'd come back from filming, call you, fuck you and then be gone by the morning and you were tired, you truly were. It felt like an endless cycle, one you were growing tired of.

You'd been friends with benefits for a while, almost a year. You'd met him at a bar, you knew who he was, who didn't but that hadn't been what had attracted you to him. In fact, he pursued more than you did, but it never turned into anything more than a friends with benefits relationship.

"Tom?" You said, bodies both sweating as he rolled off you, discarding of the condom. He hummed for you to continue. "Do you ever get, I don't know, tired of doing this?" You asked as you twiddled your thumbs, staring at the ceiling.

"What? Having sex?" He asked.

"No, not the sex. Just, all it being is sex?" You asked timidly as he stood and pulled his boxers and jeans back on. He studied you for a second.

"I don't know what you want." He said, almost snapped. You grabbed your dressing gown that was at the side of the bed, standing as you watched Tom search for his t shirt. Pulling your dressing gown on you looked at him.

Of course over the year you'd developed feelings for him, fallen in love with him but now your heart needed to know if he felt anything for you, at all.

"Like, I don't know Tom. A relationship." You squeaked out the last part and he looked at you like you'd grown two heads.

"You knew what this was when we started." He said harshly, far more harshly than you'd expected. You were taken aback.

"No, I know but we've been doing this for ages now Tom. I was just asking." You tried to shrug off as you watched him pull his shirt over his head.

"Ah, I see what this is. You've got a bit of a crush?" He asked and you laughed lightly, trying to push down the hurt.

"Don't flatter yourself." You laughed as best you could and you watched as he approached you, placing a kiss to your cheek.

"Sorry love, I've gotta go." He said and before you knew it you heard your front door open and close.

It hurt, he wasn't like this usually, usually he'd stay, cuddle but in the month he's been home from filming it's like he's lost himself. He isn't as attentive, every fuck is rough and although you love it, you miss when he'd be gentle with you.

There was one occasion a couple of months back when you thought he might have felt the same, you were both a bit tipsy and he took it slow, it was passionate. It felt like something was there, unspoken emotions.

It was two days later when he turned up again. You were straddling him, kissing him as you took his top off and then you saw it and it brought everything into reality for you, into perspective. There was a love bite, on his chest that you didn't leave.

You moved off him as you ran your hands through your hair and huffed. You knew you weren't exclusive, you weren't that dim but it didn't make it hurt any less. You'd not slept with anyone in the last year and the stupid part of you thought he hadn't either. Idiot.

"Hey," he said as he kissed at your shoulder and you instantly shrugged him off. "What's wrong?" He asked and yo sighed.

"Nothing Tom, I just don't feel like it." You said and he kissed your shoulder again.

"Okay." He didn't fight you on why, you never needed to give a reason to him, no meant no. "Are you okay?" He asked as he watched you angrily wipe a tear away.

"I'm fine." You snapped and he thought for a second, you turned to look at him, he'd been quiet. You watched as he put two and two together.

"You're upset about the other day." He stated and you huffed.

"Can we just drop it?" You sighed, hanging your head.

"Y/N, you know we're not exclusive right?" He said and you felt tears again. "We can see other people?" He said and you sniffled, wiping at your tears before looking at him.

"Yeah, I know."

"You need to get over this crush you have on me." He stated and you didn't appreciate his tone, it felt condescending.

"You know what Tom, that's not exactly easy to do when I'm underneath you ninety-nine per cent of the time I see you." You snapped and Tom raised his brows.

"Y/N," he huffed. "I'm not yours okay, I told you what this was. If you caught feelings that's your problem." He snapped and you gasped.

"What has gotten into you?" You said in disbelief.

"Nothing. I'm not taking the blame because your feelings are hurt that I've seen other people." He said.

"You've never been this cruel." You said, sadness lacing your tone.

"You know what I think it is? I think you're one of those fans that obsesses over me. Next thing you're going to tell me is that you read fanfiction written about me." He mocked and your anger rose.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" You shouted. "Get over yourself Tom, I knew who you were when we met, yes. But do not mistake me as some crazed fan." You snapped.

"Well stop acting like one." He shouted back at you.

"You know what? I feel bad for your fans out there that have no idea how much of a dick you are. How much of a, fucking." You stopped for a second as you thought. "How much of a fucking movie star you are." You watched as anger flashed in his eyes, you'd upset him. Good.

"You don't know what you're talking about, yes, we fuck but don't think for a second I can't find someone else to fill your spot." He shouted and you tried to hold onto your anger but you couldn't, nothing but sadness had set in.

"What happened to you Tom?" You asked, sadness lacing every word.

"Nothing, what are you harping on about?" He snapped and you couldn't help the tears, couldn't help the next words that fell from your lips.

"You've changed, you're not the Tom that left a month ago. You're not the Tom I fell in love with." You said into the quiet air and you could've heard a pin drop.

"You're, you, what?" He stumbled out as he approached you.

"Get out." You said, it was weak but you meant it, your heart was shattered, your emotions tired.

"Y/N/N." He said softly as he tried to take your hand in his but you snatched it away.

"Just get out, find someone to take my place because honestly? I don't want it." You whispered out as your tears fell faster, a sob racking through you. You needed to end this.

"Hey, I'm sorry. I didn't mean that, I was angry. I didn't know." He said and you wiped your nose, looking up at him, you saw something flash behind his eyes, something you couldn't read.

"Just please go home Tom." You said. "I just want to be on my own."

"I don't, it doesn't feel right to leave you." He said.

"Why?" You said, utterly defeated as you made your way into the bathroom, turning to look at him before you spoke. "You've been pretty good at it." You said before you shut the door.

**

Tom waited around for a good twenty minutes before you heard him sigh and leave. You'd not seen him for a month, no contact, he'd tried to call, multiple times actually and you'd declined every single one. Your heart still hurt but it held onto a hope that maybe he'd come back, but back as the Tom you fell for.

It wasn't so bad being in love with him then, he broke your heart but mended it all in one and if he did see other women in that time he never let it slip, never let you know.

After two more weeks of hearing nothing from him, you gave up. You heard frantic knocking at your door, it made you jump as you hastily went to answer it. What you were not expecting to see was a dishevelled Tom on your doorstep. It was almost mid night.

"I'm sorry." Was the first thing he said as he engulfed you in a hug, knocking you backwards into your flat. You'd missed him, missed having his arms around you.

"Tom?" You asked as he kicked the door shut. "What are you doing here? It's so late." You said, you were just about to go to bed yourself.

"I fucked up, I'm so sorry." He said, pulling back to take your face into his hands. "You were right, I was being a dick, I don't know what was going on with me. I've missed you, god, fuck I've missed you and I didn't mean what I said, I didn't mean any of it."

"Tom, it's okay." You smiled. "I shouldn't have let it carry on. I knew what you wanted from it. I know you don't feel the same and it's okay." You said as you placed your hands over his and you watched as he shook his head.

"I thought, I don't know. I took you for granted, that last month, after I got back, I took you for granted." He rambled and you furrowed your brows. "I never slept with anyone else, fuck I got drunk that once and let someone give me a mark but I never slept with her, everything she did felt off and I couldn't understand it." He was spiralling, rambling.

"Tom, slow down. What are you trying to say?" You said softly, trying to ground him as you squeezed his hands and brought them down to your sides.

"I'm trying to say, fuck, I'm trying to tell you that I love you too, I think I have for a long time, I just didn't want to admit it. But being away from you? I never want that again." He said and your heart burst in your chest.

"You keep me grounded, you always have. You're not afraid to call me out. You treat me like a normal human being, not a celebrity and fuck, I treated you so badly." He concluded and you smiled.

"You did." You said as you moved some hair out of his face.

"I'm sorry." He said in defeat. "I love you, I hope you haven't changed the way you feel about me?" He said, hope clear in his beautiful face.

"My feelings for you haven't changed but you have a lot of making up to do." You said and he smiled.

"I know. Anything, baby, whatever you want." He said and you kissed him, he pulled you against him, squeezing your waist as he kissed you like you'd disappear. You pulled back after a moment and looked at him.

"You could start by coming to bed," you said and you watched as he smiled. "I want a cuddle." You said, you didn't want to have sex with him, you wanted him to hold you and you had a feeling he felt the same.

"Yes miss." He said with a smile before picking you up, holding you close to him as he made his way into your bedroom and for the first time since he'd been in there, it wasn't to have sex. It was to hold you and he did, you had your Tom back and he wanted to stay.

[luci-in-trenchcoats]

If I Fell For You (Part 8) - Good Days, Bad Days

Summary: The reader has a special birthday surprise for Jensen and starts to get to know Jared more. When Jensen returns home from Toronto for good though, he and the reader have their first big fight and make more moves in their relationship...

Masterlist

Pairing: Jensen x nanny!reader

Word Count: 5,300ish

Warnings: language, angst, fighting, smut

A/N: Enjoy!

________

Thursday Night

“So how do you want me?” asked Jensen, leaning against his closet door in nothing but his boxer briefs. 

“Oh well that’s a dangerous question,” you laughed. “Jeans are fine for where I’m taking you.”

“Alright,” he said. He ducked into the closet and returned wearing only a pair of dark jeans, smirking at you with his hands behind his back.

“Being a little shit?” you asked.

“One of my best qualities,” he said. You hummed and went past him into the closet. “So what should I be wearing on this date out?”

“I’m kinda a sucker for you a henley and flannel. Not to let that go to your head at all,” you said.

“Oh you should never watch Supernatural then,” he chuckled, grabbing a long sleeve white henley off the hanger and pulling it on.

“I did sort of start watching it,” you said. “You look like a little baby that hadn’t hit puberty yet.”

“I got better with age, sweetheart,” he said, flashing you a wink.

“Oh yes you did,” you said. “I like it. It’s kinda scary but not too bad if you watch during the day.”

“It gets less scary pretty fast,” he said, putting on his red and gray flannel. “I all set?”

“You look very pretty,” you said, walking out with him on your tail. “So does the show end happy? Like they live? It’s got this angsty feel to it where I feel like something bad is gonna happen.”

“Do you want me to spoil it?”

“Dean doesn’t like die, right,” you said. He made a face and you frowned. “No. Why? He doesn’t deserve that.”

“Eh, calm yourself woman. Things could happen in the future...he might not have to die...or he might come back and I really shouldn’t be discussing these things.”

“You’d do more?” you asked.

“Oh for sure. On a streaming network where we get to do all the shit we couldn’t on cable. Get some fresh eyes in on the writing or maybe we’d even take a crack at it. It’s not really an if, more of a when so don’t go worrying about Dean. I like my new friends at work and everybody’s great but I miss Jared and my old ones. I’m definitely working with them again.”

“That’s great! Now come on, move that tush. We have reservations.”

“Reservations. Fancy,” he said. He put on a pair of socks and shoved his wallet in his pocket, following you out to the hall when you spun around. 

“Oh yeah,” you smirked. “You may also have a little birthday surprise waiting for your downstairs so eyes shut mister.”

“You’re devious. I like that. I like that a lot. We should explore that later in bed.”

“Tempting. I’ll have to take you up on that,” you said. “Eyes shut.”

You held his hand and he shut his eyes, going down the hall with you. You went slowly down the steps, Jensen’s arm around you the whole time. You grinned and walked him over to the family room before leaving him in place.

“Open,” you said. He blinked open his eyes, quickly landing them on a grinning Jared standing there.

“How the hell are you here?” said Jensen, Jared giving him a big hug he quickly returned. “Shit I missed you man.”

“Me too. But it’s someone’s birthday this week and I don’t have work tomorrow so I caught a flight up this afternoon. Y/N thought I’d make a good present.”

“Fucking awesome present,” he said, still grinning ear to ear. 

“You doing okay?” asked Jared, Jensen nodding. He gave him another hug and you smiled. “So how’s that crush on the nanny working out?”

“Shut up,” said Jensen, smirking as he pulled you into his side. “Jared. I know you guys met already but Y/N is your soon to be best friend just as an fyi.”

“Oh we’ve already started chatting,” you said, Jared chuckling. “He’s really sweet. I had to legit stop him from jumping on a plane that second when I texted him he thought something was wrong.”

“I think between the two of us we can keep an eye on him,” said Jared. “So you mind if I crash your date?”

“Not at all,” you said. “I’m taking both you boys out. My treat.”

“I’ll be back in a minute,” said Jensen two hours later while he excused himself to the bathroom. Jared finished off the last of his beer and smiled as he leaned back in his corner of the booth. 

“You know I’m totally covering this right,” he said.

“Dutch?” you asked.

“I’ll take the alcohol, you take the food.”

“That I can agree to,” you said, glancing over the dessert menu. “I’m really happy you were able to come up to hang out. I know you got your own family and everything and this was last minute.”

“He’s my family too,” he said. “I’d do anything for him. Literally. Don’t ever hesitate to call me, no matter when or where. I’ll be there for him like he’s always been for me.”

“I’m not sure I’ve ever seen a smile on his face like that before.”

“I have. You just didn’t notice that night at the bonfire.” You shrugged and he cocked his head. “How long you two been dating?”

“A month or so,” you said. 

“You like him?”

“He’s alright,” you said, smiling before you took a sip from your glass. 

“Thanks for taking care of him lately.”

“Don’t need to thank me for that,” you said, sliding the dessert menu over to him.

“Yeah but I’m still going to,” he said. “I meant what I said earlier. Between the two of us he’ll be okay again.”

“He’s never gonna be the same. He’ll be happy and it won’t hurt as much. But it’ll come back and hit him time to time.”

“There’s a reason he’s my best friend and it’s not just because we worked together for so long. He’s always been there for me and I’ll be there for him. I feel better about him being up here when he’s got someone else watching his back.”

“You had the hard job, not me,” you said.

“He’s come a long way. Doesn’t mean this is a cakewalk though I’m sure.”

“No, you’re right about that,” you said as you spotted Jensen returning.

“You guys order dessert yet?” he asked, sliding in beside you.

“Why doesn’t the birthday boy pick,” teased Jared, handing the menu over to him. “You guys ought to come home for a weekend when you get a chance.”

“It’s kinda a long way to go with the kids for just a few days,” said Jensen. “But we’ll be home soon. Hopefully.”

“I can get you a gig on Walker anytime you want it dude, just ask.”

“Maybe. I kinda want to get with the guys and maybe work on that Supernatural stuff. I need good stuff to look forward to, you know?”

“I do,” said Jared. “As long as you come home eventually I’ll learn to live with just using your jet skis in the meantime.”

“See what I’ve been dealing with for over a decade?” asked Jensen.

“Oh yes. He’s horrible,” you teased. “We really shouldn’t have him sleepover then, should we?”

“You’re staying at the house?” asked Jensen with a grin.

“Duh. I didn’t just fly a thousand miles to not see you dude. I’m here all weekend. Let’s have some fun.”

“Boys I’m heading to bed,” you said around two in the morning. 

“Yeah we ought to go to bed ourselves,” said Jared.

“I’ll grab you some sheets and stuff,” said Jensen. You waved goodnight to Jared, heading down the hall towards your room when Jensen wrapped an arm around your waist. “I thought you were gonna sleep with me from now on.”

“I am. Want to check something real quick.”

“Hurry back,” he said. He kissed your temple and ducked into his room, leaving you in the hall. You went down to your own and checked your email, smirking when you saw what you were looking for. A rattling of fingers on the door made you glance up, Jensen smiling there. “Texting your other boyfriend?”

“No, I sort of...submitted one of my stories to a publisher. They’ve been talking to me this week and said they’d get back to me today on if they wanted to move forward. They want to do a five book deal. I already have the stories done and mostly drawn anyways. They gave me an offer just now.”

“That’s awesome,” he said. “Seriously. We’re gonna celebrate tomorrow for sure.”

“It’s no big deal,” you said.

“It really is,” he said. He picked you up and grinned, carrying you back to his room. “I’m proud of you.”

“They’re stupid stories,” you said.

“I love those stupid stories,” he said, setting you on the bed. “The kids do too.”

“You’re just saying that cause you’re supposed to say that.” You set your phone on the nightstand and crawled under the covers, Jensen pulling you into his chest when het got underneath.

“My children think their mom is really okay now. They don’t get sad anymore and they ask questions about her again and I don’t want to cry every time I talk about her because your story reminded me that the wolf dad can be happy again for him too. That’s really fucking important to me right now in life.”

“Okay Papa Wolf,” you said. You grinned and he returned it. “Night Jensen.”

“Goodnight sweetheart.”

Two Months Later

“Hey Jared,” you said as you answered your phone. “What’s up?”

“Jensen at work?”

“Yeah. Late night again,” you said. “He’s answering texts between breaks I think.”

“Cool,” he said.

“You need something?” you asked. 

“No, no. I’m good,” he said. “Thanks. I’ll catch you later.”

“You doing okay?” you asked.

“Yeah. Just want to talk to him for a minute,” he said. He was a little quiet and you sat down on the couch. 

“You want to talk to me?” you asked.

“That’s okay.”

“Jared...Jensen and I are starting to get serious which means we’re gonna be together a lot considering how you two can’t go more than a day without talking. We can be good friends too,” you said. He was quiet and you hoped you hadn’t sounded too corny.

“I uh, I have bad days sometimes. Really normal days can be bad days in my head. It’s kinda how I was built I guess,” he said. 

“Nothing wrong with that,” you said. “Today a bad day?”

“Kinda. Nothing happened. I had a normal day at work and home. I’m just off. He um...Jensen makes me feel better as lame as that sounds. Just talking for a few minutes helps my head get on track that somebody really does care.”

“He’s very good like that,” you said. “I know you mean the world to him. You’re his brother. It’s not lame that he makes you feel better. You make him feel better too. I owe you a lot for taking care of him after the accident.”

“I much prefer when I’m the one freaking out and he takes care of me,” chuckled Jared. “You guys coming home soon?”

“He’s got a few weeks left of filming but I might head down a little earlier, try to get the house sorted out down there with the kids and stuff,” you said. “He’s literally counting down the days.”

“He really likes working on the show though I thought.”

“Oh he does but he’s got a big circle on the calendar for the fifthteenth called Jared day. I think your boy is planning something fun.”

“I’m looking forward to it,” he said. “You mind if I ask a personal question?”

“Shoot, buddy,” you said, stretching in your seat.

“Do you love him?” he asked. 

“Going full throttle out of the gate I see,” you said.

“I know. I know how he talks about you though. There’s no...casual relationship with him.”

“Well I haven’t said it to him yet and he hasn’t said it to me so...maybe another time I’ll be able to answer that question.”

“It’s been almost four months. You get to spend more time together than most couples starting out. I’d think you know by now,” he said.

“I do. But he deserves to hear it before anyone else,” you said. 

“So you love him.”

“Most things I love have a habit of going away,” you said. 

“He won’t,” he said. “You do more than make him happy, Y/N. A lot more.”

“I just wish he didn’t hurt.”

“He hurts a lot less lately. Some of that’s time and some of it’s you. Enjoy being one of his best friends. He doesn’t let that many people in that close.”

“I know. We were supposed to be talking about you I thought.”

“Eh, sometimes I just need the talk. Thanks. I got somebody else I can call now too.”

“It’s never a problem,” you said.

“It’s getting late there. I’ll let you go. Thanks for talking, really. I feel better.”

“Anytime Jared.”

“You too, Y/N.”

Three Weeks Later

“Doug you’re a lifesaver,” you said as finished washing Jensen’s truck in the driveway back home in Austin. He smiled as he wiped off his hands and gave Arrow a wave goodbye. 

“I owed you for that 3am incident,” he said. “You got easy kids. Mine are vultures.”

“Yes, yes they are,” you laughed. He gave you a kiss on the check and smiled as he headed back for his car, another one coming down the open driveway. “Later Doug.”

“Later,” he said. Jensen exited the back of the car along with his backpack and a suitcase, the car pulling out, Doug following after.

“Hey. How was the flight?” you asked.

“Who was that?” he asked, dropping his bags on the pavement.

“Oh that’s just Doug. He’s a nanny. I needed an extra set of hands today watching the kids trying to finish up these chores before you got home and it was perfect timing,” you said. You smirked and walked over to kiss him, Jensen taking a step back. “Something wrong?”

“You kissed him.”

“No. I didn’t. He kissed my cheek,” you said. Jensen narrowed his eyes and you scoffed, wiping the sweat off your forehead. “Seriously? He’s my friend.”

“That kisses you.”

“He’s affectionate,” you said. “Also he’s kinda married so you can tone it down with the judgemental looks.”

“Oh. I’m sorry. You’re right. You should be able to kiss whoever you want despite being in a relationship,” he said. He grabbed his bags and brushed past you inside. You grumbled and went after him, finding him upstairs in his room. “What?”

“What stick is up your ass today? I haven’t seen you in almost three weeks. None of us have and you’re in a bad mood.”

“I was perfectly happy until I saw you kissing somebody else.”

“I wasn’t kissing him!”

“It didn’t look like that from my perspective.”

“Jensen.”

“Is this just a little game to you? You get bored of the older guy with kids finally?” he asked, crossing his arms. “Or maybe you just got caught finally.”

“I don’t cheat,” you said, getting in his face. “He kissed my cheek. I’ll call him to come back and explain this situation right now but I apparently you just think I’m a cheater.”

“Well maybe you are. Geez, we’ve been together over four months and no real sex yet? Cause that’s not sending red flags.”

“Because you weren’t fucking ready!” you shouted. “I’m not your wife and I’m never gonna be her. Don’t be mad at me for it.”

“No that’s for sure,” he said.

“The kids are in the front yard. Don’t expect me back today,” you said. You stormed downstairs and into your room, shoving some things in a bag before taking your purse and getting behind the wheel of your car. 

You were seeing red by the time you were out of the suburbs. You slammed your hand against the wheel and shouted.

“You fucking asshole,” you said. You sniffled and drove for a bit before finally pulling off. You drove down a long road, rolling your eyes when of course you passed by his brewery. You’d never been but he’d told you about it more than once. You kept going down the road, eventually finding a park to pull into. You shut off the car and shut your eyes, a knock on the window making you jump. You put down your window when you saw a cop there and did your best to wipe off your face.

“You’re double parked,” he said. 

“What?”

“You’re parked on the line,” he said. 

“Sorry,” you said. 

“Bad day?” he asked.

“Something like that,” you said. You could feel snot threatening to drip down your nose, the officer reaching into a pocket and handing you a tissue. “Thanks.”

“Best not to drive when you’re upset,” he said.

“Yeah. I’m just gonna sit here for a little while,” you said with a nod.

“Probably not a great idea to sit in a car next a playground,” he said. “The mom’s are kinda intense around here.”

“Of course they are,” you said, squeezing your eyes shut.

“Why don’t you move your car and you can join me on my patrol,” he said. “It’s only a short walk. Fresh air might do you good.”

“Last time I talked to another man my boyfriend sorta freaked out on me so maybe not a good idea,” you said. You blew your nose and realized what you’d said, the officer staring down. “I didn’t mean it like that.”

“Why don’t we take that walk so I can find out what you did mean.”

Two minutes later you were walking next to the cop. He had a baseball cap on and was in all black. You weren’t sure how he wasn’t boiling considering it was May in Austin.

“This boyfriend got a name?”

“You gonna run his name or something?” you asked.

“Do I need to?” he asked. You shook your head and he smiled. “He the jealous type? He get angry over you talking to other men?”

“It’s complicated.”

“If it doesn’t get uncomplicated I might have to pay this boyfriend a visit you understand.”

“His wife died last June.”

“Okay. I understand part of the complicated thing now.”

“Why’s he gotta be a dick? Called me a cheater,” you said. You crossed your arms and the cop chuckled. “Sorry.”

“As long as you don’t call me a dick we don’t got a problem. Did you cheat on him?”

“No. He...he works away and he just got home today and my guy friend was over helping me with watching my boyfriends kids while I did some chores and my guy friend is like, a really affectionate guy and he kissed my cheek as my boyfriend was coming in and my boyfriend thinks I was kissing him back and been cheating on him for the past three weeks.”

“Why don’t you just call the guy friend over to explain?”

“He got so pissed so fast and accused me of cheating. I’ve been dating him for nearly five months and he brings up the fact we haven’t had sex yet like that even matters when I’ve been holding back for him and he just blows up on me for fucking nothing,” you said.

“You’re both stubborn people, aren’t ya,” he said.

“Maybe,” you grumbled.

“Maybe this guy is scared and looking for a way out of the relationship. Or maybe he thinks you want out. You mentioned kids. That’s not easy.”

“He’s also...older. There’s an age gap. I was the nanny and now I’m the girlfriend nanny. He’s also kinda...famous,” you said.

“So there’s a lot of stress in this relationship then.”

“No,” you said, dropping your arms to your sides. “It’s not like that.”

“Maybe the dumb bastard just got scared of losing someone again,” he said. “Just a theory.”

“I wish he wasn’t scared,” you said. “I don’t know how to make him not afraid.”

“You ever think maybe he said that because you’re getting in there pretty good now and he’s getting real scared that losing you might hurt just as bad as this wife did.”

“He’s an idiot. But he’s my idiot,” you said. 

“Talk to him. Get an apology and try to forgive him.”

“I already forgive him. I know him. He was scared and I got mad instead of realizing after so many weeks apart all he needed was a freaking hug.”

“Then go home and give him a hug,” he said.

“Thanks,” you said with a nod. “I must have looked like a hot mess or something.”

“Oh for sure,” he chuckled. You smiled and he laughed. “That looks better.”

“Jensen probably left like five messages on my phone by now,” you said. The cop you were with paused and smiled. “What?”

“A kinda famous Jensen. There’s really only one of those in town,” he said.

“Oh. Yeah. Please don’t share that he’s dating. He really wants to keep things private for a lot of reasons right now,” you said.

“He’s my buddy.”

“Your buddy?”

“We went to school together,” he said. “In tenth grade he went for a slide on second base, ripped his pants right down the middle. His hanes bright blue covered ass still managed to get around to home base.”

“He split his pants in a baseball game?” you smiled.

“I know quite a few of his dirty secrets,” he said. “I don’t really know that whole acting thing but him I know and that must make you Y/N. You ever in trouble kid, ever just got a bad feeling and want a cop to come by, give me a call.”

“Thanks,” you said as you took his card. “You really think he’s a dumb bastard?”

“Oh knowing it’s him, 100%. Give him a break. We like him when he smiles,” he said.

“I’m gonna give him a call,” you said. “We should hang out sometime now that Jensen has a break.”

“Definitely. I gotta finish my patrol,” he said. “Take care Y/N.”

“Bye,” you said as you headed back towards your car. You pulled out your phone and saw seven missed calls and twelve unread texts. You tapped the screen and put the phone up to your ear, only ringing for a second.

“I’m sorry,” said Jensen.

“Me too.”

“I’m the one that...shit I’m so sorry, Y/N. I don’t know what happened.”

“You missed me and you were scared and seeing Doug probably hurt like a bitch,” you said.

“I’m so sorry. I don’t want to be the stupid jealous boyfriend.”

“I’m not too far from your brewery if you want to meet there. Get a beer. Blow this over,” you said.

“I’m sorry.”

“I forgive you. Stop apologizing. I want to give you a hug,” you said. 

“I’ll meet you there in thirty minutes?” he asked.

“I’ll see you soon honey.”

“Hi,” said Jensen as you sat at a quiet table in the back, sipping on a beer and eating a piece of pizza. You smiled and stood up, giving him a hug. He tucked his head down and sighed. “I’m sorry.”

“Hey we survived our first big fight as a couple,” you said. “That deserves beer and pizza.”

He sat down next to you, forcing a smile on his face. You reached over and cupped his cheek, Jensen turning into it. 

“Please forgive yourself,�� you said.

“I don’t really want to,” he said.

“You called me a cheater. I get what I want today and that’s for you to forgive yourself.”

“I don’t know why I said that.”

“Jensen,” you said, stroking his cheek. “I love you.”

He stared at you, a different look in his eyes, the tiniest sliver of a smile peeking through. You inched closer and slid your hand around to the back of his neck, pulling him into a kiss. He felt softer than usual, lips barely moving against yours. 

“I love you,” he said. He wrapped his arms around you and grinned. “I have loved you for a very long time.” You kissed him again, Jensen returning it. 

He left his arm around your back, smirking when you did the same to him.

“Can we forget about earlier?” you asked. He nodded and rested his head on your shoulder.

“One last I’m sorry though,” he said.

“Just don’t call me that again and we’re all good, Jens,” you said. “Now eat some of this pizza so I don’t feel like a glutton.”

“I don’t have to slip into a superhero costume any more so dad bod here I come,” he chuckled.

“Does that mean Solider Boy meets some untimely end?”

“No spoilers,” he said. “But I don’t think I’ll be going back to that show. At least as often. I know I want to direct an episode of walker in the fall. I talked to Jared about it actually so that’ll be fun. I might do a duck and run guest appearance on it. I’ll line up something for next year but I want to be home for awhile, do work around here.” 

“I know quite a few people who would be more than okay with that,” you said. 

“Don’t make any plans for Saturday,” he smirked.

“I thought you were having your Jared day tomorrow.”

“Oh we are. Gen invited you and the kids over. She’d like to get to know you. You’ll love her,” he said.

“So what’s Saturday then?” you asked.

“I’d like to take you and the kids out on the boat. We haven’t been since before the accident. Maybe we can go out for dinner and put up the tent in the backyard, have a sleepover out there with the kids.”

“That sounds fun.”

“And...I’d like to maybe next week take you out for the day, just us, maybe...spend the night somewhere,” he said.

“Like a hotel?” you asked.

“Yeah. Or the kids can have a sleepover at Jared’s. Maybe.” He glanced down and you moved your arm from his back, reaching behind yourself to hold his hand. Green eyes flickered over to yours and you smiled. “I’m-”

“You know if you keep apologizing about earlier I’m not going to have sex with you,” you said. “That’s just facts.”

“Okay,” he chuckled. “No more apologies. Aside from...I really am sorry about what I said. I’m the one that’s been holding back and not once have you asked for more.”

“We said we’d take it slow and that’s okay,” you said. He squeezed your hand and nodded. “I don’t like you because you’re attractive or your hair is great or your arms are massive. Having fun with you is fun but that’s not why I’m here.”

“I don’t know if I can give you things you want,” he said.

“Just give me you and that’s good with me,” you said.

“Okay,” he said quietly. You scooted closer to him, Jensen tucking a stray hair behind your ear. “Let’s do it now.”

“Uh, what?” you said, taking a sip from your beer.

“The kids aren’t home and I don’t want to wait and-”

“You don’t have to ask me twice,” you said, knocking back your beer and flipping the cardboard down over your pizza. He stared and you burped, picking up the box. “There’s like six slices left and this is too good to waste, even for sex.”

“You have literally never been more attractive than in this moment,” he said. 

“I could be.”

“I’ll see you at the house in twenty?”

“Yes you will Ackles.”

Forty minutes later you hand was slapping against his headboard, legs squeezed so tight around his waist you were shocked he wasn’t complaining. You moaned loudly as he teased your clit and he delivered one more hard thrust. He grunted as you gripped his shoulder with your other hand.

“Jensen,” you breathed out. “I’m right there. Please, please, please…”

You arched your back when he thrust hard, fingers rubbing just a bit rougher and you came all around him, every muscle tensed and riding out that high, long, deep, absolutely perfect orgasm. Jensen thrust a few more times before he groaned and rested his head on your shoulder, big panting breaths fanning over your skin. 

He was sweaty but pulled out slowly, plopping down on the bed beside you, hand resting on his chest.

“I don’t know about you but that was good,” he said. “Damn good.”

You giggled between breaths, nodding your head slightly. You tilted it over towards his, Jensen already staring at you with soft hooded green eyes. 

“Definitely damn good,” you breathed. His lips tugged up into a smile, warm and gentle, his head inching closer to you. You sat up and leaned down to kiss him, Jensen breaking off when he needed air. You trailed a finger down his chest before climbing out of bed and excusing yourself to the bathroom. After you cleaned up you found Jensen chucking the condom in the trash and wiping himself off quickly. 

“Come here you,” he said. He picked you up bridal style and carried you back to the bed, laying you down carefully. “I’m big on after sex cuddling just so you know.”

“I find that to be a very attractive quality,” you said as he lay down. He reached down to the end of the bed and grabbed the bunched up blanket, pulling it over the two of you. His arm slid under your head and he pulled you into his side, encouraging you to use him as a pillow. “You’re warm.”

“So are you,” he said. He kissed your temple and let out a deep breath. “Thank you.”

“For what?”

“I never thought I’d be able to do that ever again. Let alone not feel bad about doing it,” he said.

“You okay?”

“I’m great,” he said. “Really. I know Dee would have been telling me to not worry so I didn’t. I don’t...I feel like I can talk about her again, you know?”

“You used to call her your wife a lot. Recently you’ve been saying her name more. I think you really are healing, Jensen.”

“I knew the second you left earlier I messed up. I dropped the kids off at Jared’s and then I wound up at the cemetery. I saw these purple flowers there. It’s kinda a different flower but they were her favorite. I’ve only ever told one other person those were her favorites,” he said. You traced your finger over his pec and rested your palm flat on his chest. “Why’d you put flowers there?”

“Why wouldn’t I Jensen?”

“That’s how I knew I can stop being so scared when it comes to you. Purple fucking flowers. You’re just…”

“I love you too,” you said, giving his whole body a squeeze. He returned it, holding you for a long time, neither one of you saying a word. It wasn’t until you noticed the light starting to change in the room that you both moved. 

“Y/N,” said Jensen when you sat upright. You looked over your shoulder, a smile on his face. “Do you want to stay upstairs with me from now on instead of your room? It’s okay if-”

“I’d love to,” you said. “To be honest, I slept up here the other night.”

“You did?” he asked as you nodded.

“I missed you.”

“Me too,” he said.

“I know three little faces that really missed you too,” you said. He smiled and nodded. “Let’s go get the rascals.”

______

A/N: Read Part 9 here!

[peralta-guaranteed]

After that Jake-Mac-Rosa fic, you dropped this queen: 👑 Next time, a Jake-Mac-Holt piece?

Oh dang, THAT's where I left it. Thank you for that. 🤪

Grandpa Holt is always a pleasure to write, but let's try for some Dad Holt too...

"Is everything alright, Peralta?"

Jake has been sitting off to the side of the group for a while now, so Holt finds it necessary to inquire. He's not used to the eager detective being so closed off and quiet unless something is wrong, and nothing he can think of right now strikes him as 'wrong': they have been celebrating the end of a rather arduous case for Diaz and Boyle, and Peralta had been as helpful as he could be as a tertiary, which was not his preferred position at all. The first round at Shaw's had been paid by himself as Captain, obviously, and the next by Diaz, so Boyle has promised to shoulder the third, were it to happen. Ergo Peralta could not be thinking about his usual money problems, which have lessened anyway ever since Santiago took over his budgeting.

That means something else entirely must be 'wrong' in order for Jake to keep out of the conversation, only reply when he is mentioned by name, and drift off to a corner of the bar while the other congregate around the various game options of the room.

"I'm good, Captain, thanks." Jake answers with a smile and an obvious lie, so Holt doesn't even bother replying, just raises one of his eyebrows a quarter of an inch, which he knows usually gets him results with Peralta. The ensuing sigh shows that it is still working.

"It's just..." Jake shrugs and rubs the back of his neck, another tell of his discomfort. "This is my first night out alone since the baby."

"Indeed." Holt replies. "I remember your phone call to Amy to inform her you would be back late today."

"Yeah." His hand is still on his neck, the other one clutched around his half empty beer bottle. "She told me to have fun. But..uh... I still kinda feel like I shouldn't be here."

"Do you think having a child robs you of autonomity? I know I am not speaking from experience, here, but it does seem to me like you are allowed to enjoy time away from your family, especially if your spouse insists you do."

"Getting drunk at a bar while my kid might be crying at home doesn't feel like the responsible thing to do, is all."

"Ah, I see." Holt nods, and he does see - he actually sees a lot more than what Jake might be trying to imply in his statement. He remembers how he used to self-medicate with alcohol in the past, after ending his relationship with that defense attorney, or even before, while feeling heartbroken over Santiago. He also remembers anecdotes about his father's drinking, not from Peralta himself, obviously, but from the rest of the squad, whenever Jake would cancel on a promised night out after Roger Peralta's visits. As much as Holt hates idioms, one of his most despised is probably 'the apple doesn't fall far from the tree', and Jake seems to fear it as well.

"Here is my solution, then, if you are willing to listen." Jake looks up at Holt as he's standing in front of him, and his hand drops from his neck. "You make the beer you are currently drinking your last for the night, and spend some quality time with your colleagues instead, enjoying a few parlour games, and then you head home at an agreeable time and still see your child before he falls asleep."

Jake grins and takes a sip of his beer.

"Sounds like a plan, Cap." He nods, and Holt doesn't ignore the fact that Jake has been using this shortened nickname for him a lot lately, and how eerily similar it sounds to 'Dad' in his voice.

(An hour later, he receives a picture on his cellphone from Peralta: The man himself, asleep on his couch, with his infant son equally asleep on his chest. Santiago must have commandeered his phone, and Holt is glad for it.)

-*-

"Grampa!"

The sound of that little voice echoes through the hallway as loudly as the ensuing footsteps, and Holt feels something warm and solid wrap around his legs.

"Hello, McClane." He smiles down at the little boy currently clutching his knees, and he smiles back before raising his arms in an obvious demand to be lifted up. Holt obeys it immediately.

He notices Mac looks surprisingly tired for an otherwise very energetic two year old, and Amy, who's now following him to Holt's side, looks equally exhausted.

"Good afternoon, Captain. I'm so sorry, I should've messaged you that I have to bring Mac in for an hour, the babysitter cancelled and the day care couldn't keep him longer than-"

"It is quite alright, Santiago. McClane knows how to behave himself at the precinct, right?" He gives the little boy in his arms a look, and receives a strong and eager nod in reply, the curls on his head bouncing back and forth. If anyone were ever to question Peralta's parentage, that alone would classify them as an imbecile. "I can watch him for the time being, if you have paperwork you need to get in order before leaving for the day."

"God, Captain Holt, would you- that would be so- I was going to ask Rosa, because I know she's at her desk-"

Amy seems far more frazzled than usual, and Holt realises that her regular schedule must be in quite a disarray, considering she has been a single parent for about a week now. Mac must not have been making it easy for her, either, nor must the baby currently growing in her stomach, which has started to show about a month ago, at which point they finally informed the squad about it (when everyone had already figured it out just like last time).

"RoRo!" Mac yells, happily, almost leaning out of Holt's arms, but he quickly hugs him tighter.

"Your aunt Rosa is working, McClane, and we should not interrupt her. We can spend the time in my office, and you can draw if you would like."

"Roro working." He echoes like a little parrot. "Like Daddy."

"That's right." Holt has learned from the parenting homepages he's visited that you are to encourage a child trying to talk and string together a coherent topic, no matter how long it might take.

"Daddy's working away." Mac continues, and out of the corner of his eye Holt sees Amy's forehead wrinkle in worry.

"Yes, your father is in New Jersey for the week to work on a special case." It's not a dangerous case at all, rather a boring standard task that happened to involve some out-of-state suspects, but Jake had still been trying to hand off that trip to anyone who might be willing to help him out. Seeing his son with bags under his eyes and his wife with stresslines around her mouth and her hand on her belly, Holt understands why.

"He comes back." Mac says next, and it is a statement, but the look in his eyes makes it a question, and Holt is quick to answer. He's glad that he has a definite answer to that, instead of the empty promises and assurances he sometimes has to make as the head of a police department.

"Yes, your father will be back soon. In two days, in fact."

Mac holds up two grubby little fingers, and Holt nods with so much fervor it surprises himself.

"Very good, that is two. Only two days and two nights until your father is back home." The worry in Mac's eyes seems to dimish a little at that as he stares at his own fingers. "If we go to my office, we can check on the calendar exactly how long that is." He barely waits for another nod before taking the diaper bag out of Santiago's hands, who whispers a quiet, but relieved "Thank you" to him. He understands again that it means far more than to thank him for taking care of the child for an hour so.

(If he uses that hour to assure Mac several times that no matter what, his father will always find a way back to him with far more emotion in his voice than he'd usually use, well, no one needs to know. Peralta certainly seems happy about the picture he sends him of Mac with his captain's hat behind his desk.)

-*-

"Congratulations." Holt's hand on his shoulder is heavy, but not uncomfortably so, and it gives a quick squeeze before dropping.

They've done the whole customary introduction to the newborn baby, the apparently necessary picture round, and now Kevin is having an amicable chat with Amy in her hospital bed. They've waited two days for their official visit, to give the new parents a chance to get at least a few of their bearings. (Holt was there merely an hour after the birth, of course, with the rest of the squad, but that was a moment of joyful chaos and many voices.) Now the room is filled with an almost serene quiet, Amy's and Kevin's voices low and comfortable in the background as Holt watches the man he truly considers a son hold up his new granddaughter.

"Do you want to hold her again? I know you already did for the photos but-"

Holt only nods and takes the infant out of his hands with perfect ease. He's more used to a wriggling toddler now, but he still clearly remembers the days when Mac was equally quiet and frail in his arms. The little one in them now is asleep amidst all that is happening, her tiny mouth open just a fraction, and he feels her arm bump against his chest while she seems to be having a dream.

"She is as perfect as her older brother, Jake."

"Yeah." Jake smiles, and there's nothing of that boisterous, loud, cocky detective grin left in it that he used to know. It is soft and kind and full of love, and it might be one of Holt's favourite expressions. "Amy did a superb job again."

"As did you."

"I'm sure I don't gotta explain this to you, Cap, but I didn't really do much." Jake jokes, and Holt can tell he's trying to divert the attention to a simpler topic, but sometimes things must be said.

"You do a lot, Jacob." He continues, then. "Far more than a lot of fathers do. Far more than many would expect of you. And you do it all perfectly right, with heart and determination."

Jake nods, swallowing down a lump in his throat, it seems, and it might be a step too far for his already emotional state, but Holt feels like it needs to accompany his accolades.

"I am very proud of you, son."

Jake is very obviously fighting back tears as he replies.

"Thanks, dad."

The little girl in Holt's arms stirs right at this moment, and Jake seems to want to interject immediately in fear that she'll start crying, but she simply stares up at Holt with impossibly big, brown eyes for the first time. And he realises, just as he did two years ago when Mac's little hand tightened around his finger for the first time, that there is a child in this world that he would literally do anything for. There are four of them now, even if two of them have not fallen under the category of a child for several decades.

"Hello, Maya." He says to the little face that seems to be inspecting him. "I'm Captain Raymond Holt. Your grandfather."

He looks up at Kevin and Amy, who've stopped their conversation while Amy is lifting her phone in their direction, and then at Jake, who's looking at Maya as well with shining eyes. Then he looks back down at Maya, stretching her arms out of her swaddle as if she's reaching for him.

"You are a very lucky little girl."

[astralis01]

Rivalry (Isn’t it Bitter Sweet): Bakugou Katsuki x Reader

Your feud with Bakugou Katsuki only escalated throughout your years at Hogwarts; whether it was on the quidditch field or who would be the first to sit down in class, there always seemed to be some sort of raging competition between you two.

Read it here on AO3

You could feel his presence from across the dining hall, immediately dowsing you in a raging hatred that you only reserved for him. His arrogance mocked you as he basically danced into the Great Hall bathed in compliments.

The Slytherin quidditch team won against Ravenclaw the night before. You didn’t know why he had all of the glory… he wasn’t even the captain. Being a keeper had its perks, you guessed. You rolled your eyes and focused your attention on your food. You tried not to stab the plate as you heard the varying praises to the boy in green and silver.

And what annoyed you the most was the herd that he always seemed to have around the place he sat. Varying from girls to boys, from Slytherin itself to the other houses too.

Stab, you picked up a piece of broccoli from your plate as you heard, "Wow, Tsuki, the last save was so cool."

Pierce, “That last block was brilliant!”

And that was the last straw for you. Who had even given the very, obviously bright idea of making the Gryffindors and Slytherins almost sit together?

Katsuki Bakugou was simply not someone who deserved such compliments. He was vile, annoying, and did everything in his limited power to poke and prod at every single one of your nerves. You used to ignore the burning hatred that you harboured for him; but late in your second year, you had let it all out.

And, as it turned out, he wasn’t quite fond of you either.

It had been years since then, yet the feeling remained the same. It was just the start of your sixth year and you already wanted to gouge his eyes out with the pointy end of your fork.

Hanta Sero caught your eye from across the tables and gave you a cheeky smile in return and the rage which had simmered down a bit rose again with a vengeance. He was the captain of the other team and you wished you could hate him as much as him. But he was quite fun to be around when he wasn't hanging out with that loser.

Though before you could get up from your place in the hall, Shouto Todoroki stopped you, holding your hands and preventing you from getting off your seat.

You turned to look at him, with the most terrible glare you could offer but he just gave you the most unimpressed look and pulled you down to sit beside him again, still holding your hand and preventing you from charging at the Slytherin table.

Then a young Slytherin, probably a first-year piped out, "Next week at the Gryffindor versus Slytherin match, you guys are sure to win."

Shouto's grip faltered and you grinned. One thing that annoyed Shouto the most, perhaps, after his father was the fact when someone insulted the Gryffindor Quidditch team that he was a proud member of.

And that was the moment you needed to charge towards the Slytherin table before any of your other friends tried to put an intervention to your actions.

"I wouldn't be too sure, you know, we have a pretty good team this year," you said, casually leaning on the table.

"And why would that stop us from winning, Captain? We have a pretty good team this year, perhaps the best," Sero drawled out, almost stretching onto the table like a tabby cat and you just wanted to slap the smirk off his face.

And before you could put that thought into action, Izuku Midoriya, came and dragged you away back to the table, so you yelled back, "Next week, we'll surely be the winners.”

"We'll see," Bakugou said.

Perhaps five years ago, you wanted to be friends with Katsuki, but now Katsuki and you were bitter enemies.

It started in the first year when you met with Katsuki and Izuku on the train.

As soon as Katsuki entered the train cart you sat in, he dozed off and Izuku came rushing in, apologizing for 'Kachaan's' manners. You laughed it off and invited him to sit with you and you two spent the train ride talking to each other, making friends when suddenly the announcement to be ready to get off at the station sounded off.

"Kachaan, wake up. We're here. We're here at Hogwarts."

"Shut up Deku."

You frowned at the interaction but you forwarded a hand towards him and said, "Hello, I am-"

"No need to tell me you shitty extra," and he walked out on the both of you.

Izuku tried to apologize for his actions but you shushed him and dragged him out with you to climb aboard the boats.

And perhaps, that was the start of your bitter rivalry.

The ending of the second year was when you finally cracked the nut in the middle of Charms class and told him off in the middle of class, in front of everyone. This is why you were put in Gryffindor, a small part of your mind thought.

(another part of your mind had thought that you shouldn't have done that and perhaps you might be at the very least allies today.)

"For Merlin's sake, can you stop shouting for a moment? This," gesturing towards his mouth, "is getting super annoying. Don't you ever get tired of shouting so much, all the time?"

And an awkward silence blanketed the class as everyone quieted down to watch the fight between you two.

Bakugou slowly turned red and then shouted, "This is getting annoying? Well, your presence is getting annoying but do you see me screaming at you to fuck off all the time, you prissy prick?"

You turned at him with the vilest look and said, "If you are going to be an idiot, you should actually try to be subtle about it."

Katsuki froze and said, "Funny you should say it."

“You’re so ridiculous.” You rolled your eyes. “Oh, I’m Katsuki Bakugou and I am a perfect student that can’t even properly pronounce a simple spell! But that doesn’t matter because guess who’s a keeper for the quidditch team when I’m only a second-year!! I am perfect!! Literally, no one likes you.”

“Trust me, no one likes you either.”

No one meaning, and translating to, I don’t.

Just to show off, you easily cast the charm that he had failed. Charms were your strong subject, so you only needed to say the spell and flick your wand before turning your attention back to him.

He was nearly smoking from his ears, he was both embarrassed and livid.

And you felt a satisfied smirk curl up on your face as you turned to Ochako to help her complete the spell.

You waved to Momo Yaoyorozu as you walked down the hallway to meet up with Shouto and Izuku. Even though she was a Ravenclaw, she was a close friend of yours through Shouto.

And you kinda owed it to your housemates for stopping you from embarrassing yourself multiple times to be nice to their friends.

“Hey, Yao-momo.” You said. “I wasn’t expecting to see you until classes tomorrow morning.”

“Yeah, I’m waiting for Kyouka.” She turned his body to lean against the wall. “We’re going to Hogsmeade today.”

“No invitation?”

She smiled at you and asked, “Would you like to join us, Captain?”

“I was joking, no need to sound so enthusiastic.” You chuckled. As you started to speak again, Kyouka Jirou left the classroom the two of you stood outside of. She smiled at you, her violet eyes gleaming at you, reflecting the sun rays.

“Captain!” Kyouka greeted, putting an arm around your shoulder. “Are you coming to Hogsmeade with us?”

“Be careful, your mortal enemies are coming.” Momo interrupted and warned, motioning over your shoulder.

You turned around to find Sero and Bakugou walking next to each other, laughing about something only the two of them knew. You had to hold back from commenting.

“Yoohoo!” Hanta Sero caught your eye. You sighed and turned back to your friends, sharing a look.

“Hello, Hanta.” You felt him beside you before you looked.

You purposely didn’t look at Bakugou.

“We’re celebrating our win tonight, you guys should join!” Sero invited. You heard Bakugou’s exhale of frustration, but you only rolled your eyes in an attempt to ignore his presence.

“You want a group of your rivals, plus one from the team that you beat today hanging out with you, celebrating your win, when Gryffindor go against you in less than a week?” Momo spoke up. Shee moved off of the wall. “No thanks. Come, Kyouka. Let’s go.”

Kyouka waved goodbye and followed her best friend down the hall. You pivoted to fully face the two Slytherins.

"What about the mighty Lion's Captain?" Sero asked.

"No, thanks, I have better stuff to do," you said, turning on your heels and waving at Sero.

Bakugou glared at your retreating figure.

It was the time of year just before winter, where the air starts to cool but the sun still warms your skin. You took a breath and held your broom at your side.

It was near minutes before the anticipated game against Slytherin, the two fated rivals, and you could hear the crowds already. The rivalry between your houses was something that everyone enjoyed; the rivalry between you and their keeper was all you.

“Alright team.” You pivoted to the team behind you. “We’re playing Lion first; and if we don’t get any points within the first two minutes, I’ll hold up the signal for Golden. Got it?”

“Got it.”

You had pretty much the best team between all of the houses in your honest opinion.  was perfect as your keeper, he was never one to let anything get past him. Your chasers included you, Shouto, and Eijirou Kirishima. You had Leon and Leo for beaters. Two-third years that showed a huge amount of potential. And, rather recently, you gained a new seeker named Izuku Midoriya. And Izuku being one of your old friends made your teamwork with him, flawless in games

The Slytherin team was not one to mess with, they had a nice team too. Bakugou as the keeper, the Idiots Monoma and Tetsutetsu as beaters, their new seeker Aoyoma… but the problem was their chasers: Sero, Kyouka, Mina. They were so quick on their brooms, it was like working against the wind.

But your team was faster than theirs.

Today was no day to lose.

“It’s our first official match of the year.” You encouraged. “Let’s show them who not to mess with.”

“Let’s absolutely destroy them,” Leon added.

You grinned.

As you headed towards the field, you could feel the adrenaline creeping into your bones. Quidditch had become routine, simple muscle memory as you moved to your starting positions.

The Slytherin team appeared, and you felt the excitement enter you in a rush of air.

And as soon as the whistle sounded, you all flew off in the air, fully intent on kicking Slytherin's butts.

In the air, Bakugou Katsuki felt at peace. He was very good at what he did, and he knew that, and the game was something he was passionate about.

He was also passionate about beating you.

You were the bane of his existence. You had never once sent him anything other than something bitter or sarcastic. You were an annoying pest that he simply couldn’t get rid of.

And as you threw the Quaffle into the goal just above his head, Katsuki felt his eye twitch.

And what even irritated him, even more, was the small smile that you shot at him as you rushed back for a high-five at Todoroki.

Slytherin won, Izuku Midoriya’s hand high with the Snitch inside.

You watched in triumph as the teams descended on the brooms. From the skies down, you cheered.

“Congrats, Gryffindor,” Sero said, though his tone was bitter and sour.

And it did not feel as the statement was supposed to be at all but you ignored it in favour of the elation.

You knew that he hated losing, so you didn’t push it. He was a friend, after all. Sending him just a small “I’m sorry you didn’t win” smile, you headed to your team. You gathered them into a hug, or rather– a huddle, and ruffled the hair on Izuku’s head.

You peeked over your shoulder to catch sight of Bakugou. He was standing, hands at his sides, red face and eyes blank of any expression other than anger.

You smirked at him.

And he snarled back at you.

Katsuki Bakugou was on the other side of the victory this time, silently brooding as he picked at his food in the Great Hall. The Slytherin table emitted zero volume.

He was pissed off the second you entered the hall, Deku and Todoroki walking beside you. The gold and red seemed to glow, mocking him in the worst way imaginable.

Sero tried to bring his attention back to the food, but Bakugou was focused primarily on you. You were gloating, relishing in his loss, taking delight in the compliments from your house. A Hufflepuff appeared at your side, and you smiled as you thanked them for their congratulations.

He felt sick.

And a small part of him felt angry. But that was well deserved by you, he supposes.

You could not help but drown yourself in the triumph. You walked on air, the feeling of superiority tickling every inch of skin it could touch.

You waved goodbye to a couple of friends, heading directly to the Slytherin table. You placed your hands on Sero and Katsuki’s shoulders, leaning to place your head right between theirs.

“I suppose we beat you as I told you.” You sent a wink to Bakugou, knowing full well how it would provoke him.

“Fuck off.” Bakugou shoved your hand off of his shoulder.

“To receive your praise at the Gryffindor table.” Mina shooed, fork in hand. “You won’t find it here.”

“Sore losers.” You mocked just for fun. You stood straight. “I imagine that I would be the same, given it was the other way.”

You basically skipped back to your table for breakfast.

You were absolutely elated for the rest of the day. It was quite similar to being on cloud 9, winning your first game of the year against your rivals. The look on Katsuki Bakugou’s face only added to the feeling.

You were walking down the hall, talking to Denki who had his arm wrapped in yours. He was going on and on about how he wished he could have imprinted Izuku's snitch catch to his memory. Or made it into shirts so he could sell it to his fan club and you laughed at that idea.

That was when your shoulder collided directly into a firm body.

Your arm was ripped away from your classmates, along with your bag that fell onto the hard ground with a loud thud and wisp of parchment and ink. Everything in your bag is now scattered on the ground, covered in dark ink and dirt.

Your mood was too high to get too angry. It was an accident; you would bite your tongue and clean up the mess.

Until you realized just who’s the shoulder you ran into Bakugou Katsuki. Your greatest enemy and now the destruction of your contents.

“Watch where you’re going next time, Bakugou.” You grunted, kneeling to save some of your parchment before the ink could reach it.

“Perhaps if you had your head out of your ass, you wouldn’t have run into me,” Bakugou responded. He had turned to face you midway through your fall.

“As if you didn’t feel this way a week ago.” You told him, standing up. Nearly everything that was in your bag was soaked, including the bag itself. You inhaled deeply. “You did this on purpose, didn’t you?”

“Now, why would I run my shoulder into you on purpose hoping to ruin your mood?” He asked. “You must be very arrogant to think that everything must be about you.”

You clenched your jaw and closed your eyes. “I will not let a piece of shit such as yourself bring my mood down today. Today is a good day.”

You knelt once again to find the essay that you had written for Aizawa, searching your documents. Only to find it one of the few that were directly under the ink, completely doused in black.

“Actually, fuck you.” You lifted the paper. Ink dripped off and onto the ground. “Do you know how long I worked on this?”

“I don’t know, a couple of minutes?” Bakugou shrugged. “You aren’t exactly the best at your schoolwork.”

“You wish you knew me well, but you don’t at all.” You felt anger boil in your chest. “I worked very hard on this essay. Days, even. And you destroyed it in less than five seconds..”

“There’s the Gryffindor in you.” He let out a humourless laugh. “You think everything has to be about you, and if it doesn’t then someone is out to get you. Your ego is so fucking enormous that you can’t even muster the idea that maybe something isn’t about you. And then you shout at me for that. You didn’t even win, Deku won the game for you. God, why don’t you go make a friend instead of standing here arguing with me about an accident?”

"Fuck you, I actually have friends, unlike you, who only has followers," you answered back to him.

"Well, you have everyone hanging over you. You're just a slut aren't you?"

Denki's eyes widened and the small groups of people who were conversing around you stopped and for a moment you thought that the whole school had heard with the silence that spread.

You could feel the tears welling up in your eyes. Yes, both of you fought in front of each other. Both of you told each other to fuck off or even curse out a few times but none of you ever shouted such vulgar words at each other.

It was one thing to make comments, to be bitter and roll your eyes at each other’s presence. It was one thing to bicker, to fight, to joke to friends about the other’s incompetence and purposely pull on each other’s strings.

It was something else completely to call you a slut in front of everyone in the middle of a hallway after a thread of insults.

The overwhelming force to cry was still there but you would not allow yourself to cry in front of him.

Right after he called you that.

You would not let him have that satisfaction.

So, you turned on your heels and said, "You're more than an asshole Katsuki Bakugou."

And your prompts hurried away.

Denki, who was still frozen on the spot after the volley of insults had to be shot and the worse had been done, shoved Bakugou aside and said, "You shouldn't have said that Bakugou," and rushed behind you, calling out your name.

"You shouldn't call anyone a slut, Katsuki. Those words are not meant to be uttered in a civil society. It's like calling you a pussy publicly," Mitsuki Bakugou uttered, with the most strict voice she could offer while Masuru Bakugou spluttered at the usage of curse words in front of their son.

Katsuki Bakugou did not think often before speaking. He was just so used to people either bowing down and agreeing to his demands or just ignoring them that when he meet you, someone he could neither affect with both of his options, he always blew up.

Perhaps it was the fact that you had such a kind heart that you shook the Giant Squid's tentacle when it came on your boat during your first year because you thought it was lonely.

Or perhaps it was how easily you made friends with people. Just collecting the lonely bits of a big puzzle and joining it together, seemed to be your speciality.

But perhaps the most infuriating thing about you was the fact that you just refused to bow down to his screams and shouts and temper. You rose to receive the challenge he posed.

That is why his heart tore and clawed its way in his chest when you had turned around and run away from him.

He supposes you had stuck beside him long enough.

And he could not ignore the way that your friends glared at him while sitting in the Great Hall, Todoroki being the most vocal about it.

Or the way, Mina made excuses whenever he tried to talk to her.

Or, how Kirishima had stopped trying to drag his butt to Hogsmead for a friendly meet during the weekends.

Yes, he could not ignore all that.

"Maybe you should apologize," Sero suggested one day after catching the solemn look on his face.

"Do what now?" he screamed at him.

"You know, apologize to them," he repeated, slowly.

"Why should I apologize to them?"

"Because you know that you went too far. I know you still have feelings and stuff that you seem to everyone else for it."

For several days Katsuki Bakugou did not see you anywhere. Not in the classes, not in the Great Hall and the weight of his deed was still there.

So he did the next best thing.

He found out when you had booked the Quidditch pitch for practise of your team because he knew you wouldn't abandon them even in your worse days and planned to apologise to you there.

He had even practised it a few times in front of the mirror, "I'm sorry that I hurt your feelings by calling you a slut."  It was a small apology but he was hopeful that you would forgive him.

Yes. And you two could go back to the regular hating and biting remarks instead of the new empty kind of feeling that settled in his chest.

But the second he stepped onto the Quidditch, he was stopped by Shouto Todoroki and Izuku Midoriya from going any further.

"Kachaan, you should not be here," Izuku said with more force than he had ever talked to with Katsuki and he wondered, what had you done that so many people were standing in defence of you.

"I know. I just came to apologize to them. Just move out of my way Deku."

Todoroki stepped in front of Izuku and said as bluntly as ever, "They don't want to see you. And I don't think your apology will mean anything to them except for sending them into a bad mood."

Before he could say anything, you came and said, "Zuku, Shou, the break is over. Get your butts moving."

Katsuki felt himself freeze in surprise. You had been at the practice for about two hours yet your voice was not hoarse from shouting. Even your energy levels seemed to be at the ever high.

Though before he could unfreeze and say his apology, you had already flown into the sky with Izuku and Shouto behind, in tow, leaving him behind in the dust.

The loneliness that you left behind with ignoring him was cold.

And his heart broke a little.

And he finally understood, all those years he thought he had the vilest hatred for you was just his stupid emotions trying to tell him that he liked you.

But he was too late now, he supposed.

How could he be such an idiot, to believe that you, out of all people, could ever love him?

Hanta Sero took a place beside you. It would have been normal if it were not for your avid avoidance of anyone with a Slytherin robe on.

“Hello, Hanta.” You said without sparing him a glance.

The thing was, you weren’t angry with him. You didn’t hate him, you hated his closest friend. And by association, you didn’t want to talk to him just as much. Sero had always been the middle ground between the doom and gloom that was the sandy-haired boy you hated.

“I think you should talk to Kats,” Sero said. Plain and simple, to the point.

“I think you should mind your business.” You retorted. “I never talked to him to begin with, what’s different now?”

“Because now is different.” He grabbed his book as the professor walked in. “Now, you won’t even say your smart ass remarks or tell him how fucked up his hair looks. Now he is just… boring and sad. And he mopes all the time. He isn't even playing his best on the field”

“So you want me to talk to the guy I hate in order for him to not be sad?” You scoffed and collected your things. “No, thank you. I've been keeping my distance, just like he wanted and I am happy to keep it this way.”

You stood up from your seat and sat beside Izuku just as the professor started talking, receiving a few stares in the process. It wasn’t as if you weren’t used to that.

You were walking with Ochako, laughing about the attempts everyone had tried to do to make Todoroki laugh when you committed the most horrific mistake of your life.

You caught the eye of Bakugou across the street who just had to look at you at the same moment.

You quickly averted your eyes but not before it caught his attention

It had been snowing, so most of the students were in their winter gear and warm clothes. You yourself had a hat and scarf on, gloves to cover your hands despite the hot to-go mug of cocoa in them.

Hogsmeade was quite busy with everyone getting last-minute holiday gifts and hurrying to hang out before the break. Yet, somehow, your eyes found the reds of Bakugou's.

You turned around, forcing Ochako to follow. The girl didn’t even have to ask about your change in demeanour, easily falling into place beside you.

You felt a hand on your wrist and heard your name being called. “Hey. Can I talk to you? I’ve been trying to apologize…”

You stopped dead in your tracks as if you were pulled on a leash. As if his bare hand touching your empty gloved one had scolded you. Bakugou stood before you, red cheeks from either the cold or from rushing after you. Either way, you wanted nothing to do with it.

He had spun you in his grasp, his jaw tight and eyes searching yours before falling to his hand around yours. His grip on your wrist was tight, and he swallowed as his eyes found yours again.

“I don’t want to talk to you.” You snatched your arm away. “Have you ever considered that? I don’t want to talk to you, I don’t want to see you, and I don’t want to hear your half-ass apology! What gives you the right to just waltz back into my life after all the pain you’ve caused."

“I have been trying to talk to you.” He said. “I…” His eyes scanned yours. His tongue rolled in his mouth. “You mean to tell me that you don’t want my apologies?”

“You’ve made it very clear what you think of me, so I hope that I can make this very clear for you,” You took a deep breath. “I hate you. I don’t like you, I have never liked you, and I hope that whatever it is that is eating you up inside continues to do so.”

Katsuki Bakugou’s eyes twitched. He started to take a step towards you, but decided against it, falling back into the same step. “I don’t…” His voice was nothing as you had ever heard it. “You…” His eyes clouded with the emotions you were familiar with. “Fine.”

“Fine.”

Bakugou faltered for a moment, his eyes held remorse and you almost wanted to forgive him but you remembered what he called you.

He quickly shoved a box of chocolates into your hands and said, "I brought this for you as an apology gift but you didn't want my words. I hope my actions will speak louder. And I hope that someday you will find it in your heart to forgive me," and he promptly left, leaving you flabbergasted in the middle of the streets of Hogsmead, with Ochako by your side.

It was a sudden realization. It was not something you had even considered before, not something planned or reasoned. It was much like a tsunami, a build-up of unrelated activity that brought something else entirely.

Emotions were unfortunate things. If you feel extreme emotions for someone, no matter what… they are still very strong feelings.

Hate to love, what a strange concept.

You held the potion below your nose, inhaling the scent.

“What does it smell like?” Aizawa asked.

“It smells like… caramel.” You distinguished the varying smells. “Apple. And… burning wood?”

You stepped back and hoped no one could see you connecting the dots through your eyes.

Hanta Sero was an observant person. He was known to be the person who knew the best for his team, easily finding the perfect techniques for each on the field and as encouragement. He was one for connections and relationships. He was the one who handled the emotional part.

This is why he knew that you were masking feelings of something else with this burning hatred. This is why he knew why you felt so bad after Kats called you a terrible name in front of an audience. This is why he knew who it was when you listed your amortentia scents.

He tried to send you a look from his seat across from you, classes later. He wanted to tell you that he knew; that he knew there was something more to what’s going on, and that something was Katsuki.

You just sent him a middle finger, knowing full well what he was getting at.

Your feelings didn’t just suddenly arrive. And you were full of confusion, disorientation, and most of all… anger.

For as long as you could remember, Katsuki Bakugou was supposed to be your arch enemy. He was your nemesis on a daily basis. He was the reason for your annoyance. He was the reason for your hatred for the colours green and silver. He was the reason you became the quidditch captain. He was the reason for the breath leaving your lungs.

And he was the reason for the breath entering.

You were pissed. You were pissed that you had unrealized feelings for the man you were supposed to hate, have hated for years. You were pissed that your love had been in a game of chess, where the only outcome is to win or forfeit. You were pissed that the entire time you had spent a vast majority of your time hating, loathing, rolling your eyes at… the entire time you had reserved space for hate when it should have been quite the opposite.

The luck must have been exclusively for someone else because it seemed as though whoever created you had decided to have a fun game.

You had punched Bakugou Katsuki once.

It was something you thought of a lot, and it was the main reason Bakugou chose not to test you too close to that day.

He was rolling his eyes at something Denki was saying when you walked by. You were heading to your quidditch practice, the captain not one for latecomers. And he caught sight of you. He quickly jumped from his spot and stopped you from passing.

“Out of the way, Katsuki, I have practice.”

“Oh, right, because you’re on the quidditch team now.”

“I am, thank you very much.” It was the beginning of the third year, and you were not only annoyed but you were also a Growing Person going through puberty. You did not have time to deal with a teenage boy pissing you off. “You forget that not everyone got on the team their first year of trying out.”

“Because we’re better than the entire Gryffindor team.”

“Talk to me when you win a house cup.” You tried to push past him, but he stood directly in front of you in one step. “Move, or be moved.”

“What are you going to do? Punch me?”

So, you did. Your fist collided with his cheek before you could even register that it had happened. Denki gasped out loud, it quickly turned into a laugh.

“They punched you! That was superb.” Denki laughed, grasping at his sides. “Ah, man!”

While Bakugou touched his cheek to check that— ah yes, you really did punch him— you were already walking away to the practice field.

Katsuki started t missed you if he were being fully and completely honest with himself.

It was right, you only miss something that is completely removed from your life.

He found himself searching for you in classes or in common areas, prepared for your snide remarks and bitter taunts. He found himself waiting for you to roll your eyes at his presence; looking for you to quip about the next quidditch game.

But when none of it came, he felt out of place.

He actually missed your annoying banter. He missed you shoving your middle finger in his direction. He missed the redness on your cheeks when you would try to calm yourself down. He missed the silence that would escape you if he entered a room and you were anything other than angry.

He missed catching you smiling at someone and watching your face change. He missed the arguments in class. He missed the little comments during eating.

Confused, he pushed those feelings down as he watched you eat with some Ravenclaws and a Hufflepuff that he had never talked to before.

And the empty space in his heart only grew larger in size.

It had been several weeks of silence from your end. You had thrown yourself back into quidditch before the break, happy to have a distraction from whatever the fuck you were feeling. You weren’t going home for the holidays, so you spent some time planning for the spring and classes.

You found yourself outside, sitting in the snow and writing a makeup essay for Aizawa. You had found a nice spot under a roofed area, so nothing smudged your writing (or, you know, covered it completely).

“Oh.” A voice said from above you.

You looked up to find Bakugou, hands in pockets and staring at you as if you had never existed and he was discovering you for the first time.

“I wasn’t expecting to find anyone here.” He said.

“Yeah, obviously neither was I.” You started to put your things away.

“No… no comment?”

“Hm?”

“No… snarky comment? No, you look terrible to me?”

You shook your head. Mainly because you didn’t have the energy. You were content, bored, and just overall exhausted. You had exhausted yourself in thinking of every possible outcome to your love for the boy in front of you, none of which made any sense.

None of it made any sense.

It was as if one moment, you were standing on the ground. And the next, you were swept away by a giant wave that you thought was only an earthquake. You hated to love.

“Then, can I finally say what I have been meaning to?”

“No.” You finally got the last of your things into your bag.

“Why?”

“Why what?”

“Why can’t you just hear me out?” He stood in front of you, hoping to stall your leaving. “I’ve been trying to tell you that I shouldn’t have called you a slut, and I should have…”

“And I don’t want to hear it.”

You started to leave, but he jogged to jump in front of you again. Through the years, he had gained height compared to you. You weren’t necessarily kids anymore, you weren’t at eye level to just punch him in his cheek without reaching for it.

“God, you’re fucking annoying.” You shifted your bag on your shoulders. “You want me to call you a name so it can be even? Do you want me to tell you that everything is fine and we can go back to our constant fighting? What do you fucking want from me? Did it mean anything to you? Did I mean anything to you?”

“What do I want from you?” He asked, voice rising to match yours. “What do you want from me? I’ve been trying to get your attention for over a fucking month and you have given me every reason to just stop.”

“Then why don’t you!” You dropped your hands. “Why don’t you just leave me the fuck alone?”

“Why?”

“Why what, Katsuki?”

“Why?” Katsuki let out a small breath, the grey cloud leaving his lungs. “Why won’t you just let me talk to you for five minutes?”

“Because I don’t want to! Because I don’t want to hear you make up excuses. Because I cannot listen to your voice for too long.”

Before you could stop yourself, before you could recognize your own voice, before any thoughts arrived, you said, “Because for some fucked up god awful reason, I’m in love with you!”

Everything froze all at once. The oxygen left your lungs, the snow stopped falling, and everything became so unbearably silent.

You stared at him, regret drenching you in an instant as if the tides of the ocean had risen and fell in one single motion. You couldn’t breathe, your heart seized in your chest and against your ribs. You couldn’t bring yourself to look into his face, fearing to find yourself lost and never found.

He let out a single breath. And you held yours.

He froze and then he leaned forward.

He remembered the last time he was too late to act.

His lips touched yours, gently and then suddenly was full of the fireworks that everyone had said about their first kisses. The fervent feelings that ran through your bodies, the anger and the misplaced love, all tumbling out in the biggest mess he'd ever seen.

But he continued. And then you broke apart.

Both of you had a lot of talking to do with each other but hopefully it would all turn out to be well.

"And so, we both are kinda dating now," you finished with an awkward look on your face, rubbing your neck.

A silence overtook your friends and Izuku whispered, "What the fuck?"

Shouto screamed at the both of you, "I fucking knew it." And then his voice slipped into his conspiracy theorist voice, "There was sexual tension between the two of you."

You facepalmed.

Katsuki turned red.

[smoochkooks]

—hymne a l’amour (m.)

⟶ pairing: park jimin/reader

⟶ genre: smut, fluff, tiny bits of angst

⟶ word count: 5.5k

⟶ summary: it’s valentine’s day and your boyfriend decides to surprise you in more ways than one. and when you’re dating park jimin, cocky, smart and obnoxiously good-looking archeologist, you can be sure of absolutely nothing.

⟶ warnings: dom!jimin, sub!reader, big dick!jimin, sir kink, oral (m receiving), thigh riding, multiple orgasms, orgasm denial, ass slapping, dirty talk, use of degrading names, unprotected sex, mentions of jimin having a daddy kink, jimin being disgustingly sweet boyfriend, oc having at least 2 (two) mental breakdowns, cringy valentine’s day presents

this is eldorado valentine’s day special but it can be read as a standalone. enjoy! xx

Spending Valentine's Day in the city of Paris is like walking through the streets of Beijing and smelling the strong essence of soy sauce and chicken every time you take a breath.

Overwhelming.

(Or at least that's what you think is a good comparison, since you've never stood your foot in Beijing before.)

Paris seems to be on another level when it comes to celebrating Valentine's Day. It's because that's the city of love, someone may say, but no, my friend, it's not just that. French grammar isn't the only stupid thing about said country. Citizens are even weirder, in more ways than one. It's the Eiffel Tower and the smell of garlic that disguises it all when you first visit France.  

A week before February 14th, restaurants, cafees and grocery shops are all covered from head to toe in red hearts, chubby cupids, big teddy bears, various kinds of roses and, at the top of that – everywhere you focus your eyes on, you spot those huge inscriptions where words ‘love’ and ‘I love you’ are spelled in hundred different types of swirly fonts.

It's all too kitschy for your liking but tourists and locals don’t actually mind it even a bit. Once a year Paris turns into a set of the most cliché rom-com and no matter how irksome it might feel, you just have to survive this festival of boofonery.

You've always despised Valentine's Day with every fiber of your being (mostly because you hadn’t had anyone you could actually spend this day with) but your judgement took a sharp three-sixty turn when certain blond, charismatic man entered your life. Now, while you’re happily taken, a romantic dinner and a bouquet of red roses don’t sound that bad.  

But when you're dating someone like Park Jimin, a smart-ass, cocky and obnoxiously good-looking archeologist, you can be sure of abosultely nothing.  

It's a little past ten, you’re laying in your king-size bed, a day before the actual Valentine's Day. Jimin informed you he was going to be late for dinner because of some extra paperwork he had to do in the office, so you patiently wait for him. Wrapped like a fancy Christmas gift in a new pair of flimsy, lacy lingerie you recently bought in Victoria’s Secret, all hidden underneath Jimin's baggy t-shirt (the combination of casual and slutty never fails to drive him crazy). The set is cute, in a baby pink colour. The last time you pulled a move like this, Jimin went hard, literally and lyrically.

Let's just say that Park Jimin (and his dick) likes high-quality underwear.

Dating Jimin has taught you a few things, one of them being that his sex drive is insatiable, so you always need to be prepared. That’s why you're now laying here, on your bed, freshly shaved and smelling of coconut, your precious pussy ready to be worshipped by Jimin's mouth.  

When you hear the familiar jingle of keys and the door to your apartment swings open, you squeal in excitement, grabbing your phone from the nightstand to scroll through it mindlessly so you don’t come across a girl whose only purpose in life is to get dicked down by her boyfriend.

(Which, right now, is your only purpose.)

“Babe, I’m home!”

You hear Jimin pulling off his shoes and coat, so you shout back, “I’m in the bedroom!”

He seemed to be in a good mood in the morning and if nothing's changed, you're positive about getting some action tonight. A well-deserved orgasm after work it's all you crave. You squeeze your thighs, and wait.

“God, I’m so fucking exhausted.” Jimin announces upon entering the room and as soon as those words leave his mouth, he collapses face down onto the bed. His lifeless corpse smells like sweat mixed with his usual cologne and you wrinkle your nose in disgust.

And that’s on getting railed by your boyfriend tonight.

“Hi, sweetheart,” he murmurs after a moment, voice laced with tiredness. He grunts and lifts himself up to place a chaste kiss on your lips. He tastes like bitter coffee and it makes you cringe, but you kiss him back nonetheless. He pulls off too fast for your liking and nuzzles his head in the crook of your neck instead. He cuddles into your side, mumbling something about you feeling warm.

In your head, you count. When was the last time you two had sex? Right, last Tuesday. Oh boy, what a night it was. Your ass still hurts a little while sitting on a chair, a byproduct of your boyfriend's palm landing smack after smack on your cheeks. Lesson learned: never smile too broadly to the waiter who blatantly flirsts with you. You're sure the whole appartment complex heard that night who makes you feel that good  

(As if they don’t already know.)

See? Park Jimin is unpredictable.

“How was work?’’ you decide to ask instead, clearing your thoughts from the inappropriate images of Jimin’s bare body pressed to yours as he fucked you that night. You thread your fingers through his blond locks just the way he likes, massaging his scalp.

He sighs, his words muffled when he speaks. “This new employee can’t do shit. I had to prepare everything before tomorrow's expedition by myself,” he says. “I have to tell Namjoon to fire his ass.”  

You falter your movements for a second. Right, the expedition. You completely forgot about it. Jimin's going to be out of town for the whole day, digging in the soil in some French village the name of you cannot pronounce.

It looks like your fancy lingerie has to wait for her big premiere a little longer.  

“What time are you planning to be back home?” you ask.

“Dunno. Probably late.” Jimin exhales loudly, his breath tickling your neck. His hand travels to your nude thigh, giving it a firm squeeze. You fight back a moan that threatens to spill from you mouth. You really need to get laid soon. “We set off at 6am.” he adds, tracing circles on your bare skin. Your smile drops.

So the plans for morning sex on Valentine's Day stay where they belong. In your dreams.  

“You're so soft. And you smell like coconuts. I could stay like this forever.” Jimin mumbles, circling your waist with his arms and pulling you even closer to him.  

You sigh, basking in this situation just for a while, stroking Jimin's hair and listening to his steady breathing until he eventually falls asleep. Still fully clothed, still with his hand on your thigh. Carefully, so you don’t wake him up, you get up from the bed to take off your underwear. You do feel a little disappointed, but it's okay.  

When you settle yourself on the bed next to Jimin again, your back facing him, a strong arm pulls you flush to his body. You hear him sighing with relief, and it makes you smile to yourself.  

Lights off, everything can wait for tomorrow.

In the morning, just like expected, you wake up alone. There's no sight of Jimin, his side of the bed empty and cold. For your dismay, there’s no bouquet of red roses waiting for you in the kitchen, no box of chocolates or a small, cheesy note with your name written on it. Not even a short “Happy Valentine's Day, baby!” text on your phone. Absolutely nothing.  

You tells yourself it’s fine. Maybe Jimin didn’t have enough time, maybe he was too occupied with expedition to prepare something special, maybe the big surprise is yet to come. However, you can’t quite shake off the feeling that something do seem odd and it makes you anxious. Leaving without a single text is not Jimin's style. Not when it's your first Valentine's Day spend together.

You probably shouldn’t worry that much. It's not a big deal, after all you hate those types of annual holidays and Jimin knows it. Yet something about the whole situation makes you uncontrollably uneasy. You have never been like this, vulnerable and sheepish. You hate Park Jimin for turning you into such a softie.

Walking through the streets of Paris makes you feel nauseous. You look at all the happy couples sucking each others’ faces for everyone to see and fight an urge to gag. Someone shouts “Love is in the air!” and you almost throw up. Everytime you see someone holding heart-shaped balloons or flowers, you whip your head in other direction. It's nothing, you keep reminding yourself. A stupid holiday that doesn’t mean anything at all.

But the actual nail to the coffin happens to be the atmosphere in Eldorado headquarters. It drives you absolutely crazy.

It's 12am and still no word from Jimin. You checked: this bastard was online one hour ago, so he just doesn’t want to talk to you. Fine, mister. If this is how you wanna play, try sucking your dick by yourself, beacuse I’m not getting near it anytime soon, you think to yourself, filled with rage.

Yeri wiggles her pretty eyebrows at you and asks about your plans for tonight. You fake a giggle, saying that Jimin will probably surprise you with something when he gets back from his expedition. The words taste bitter on your tongue, especially when the high hopes you had simply melted away this morning. Your friend then starts babbling about the restaurant she's going to with Jungkook after work and you listen to her rant with forced smile on your face the whole time.

Meanwhile, a few meters away from you Hoseok is giggling like a teenager, typing something on his phone, without a doubt (sex)texting his girlfriend. She's out of town and you’re more than sure Hoseok hasn't gone to bathroom ten minutes ago just to take a piss. Even Namjoon is in a pleasant mood today, humming some old ABBA hits under his breath. Yesterday he couldn’t shut up about his date with a girl who’s also his new neighbour. He met her when she came by to give him homemade croissants. Ironically, that sounds a lot like some kdrama lovestory to you, and Namjoon hates kdramas.

During lunch time, you scroll through your Instagram and almost slam your phone on the wall. There's a new photo uploaded on Kim Seokjin's account.  

kimseokjin92: Celebrating Valentine's Day on Maldives w @minsuga #couplegoals #boyfriends #valentinesday #loveislove

They are on fucking Maldives. Fucking Maldives! You grit your teeth. It's fine. Completely fine.

But the absolute peek, the moment when you almost break down into tears and curl yourself into a ball of misery, comes in the person of Jeon Jungkook. He enters the office with a bouquet of the most beautiful red roses you have ever seen, a huge grin plastered on his stupid face.

Your heart clenches in your chest. Park Jimin could never.  

Jungkook hands Yeri the flowers and she laughs, slapping his chest when he starts declaiming Romeo's monologue from the Shakespeare’s tragedy. He then kisses his girlfriend deeply and lovingly, making her cheeks flush in crimson. Hoseok coos at them, Namjoon following him. You swear you saw Jungkook's tongue in the process of said heavy make out session.  

(Jealously is an awful emotion, you've decided a long time ago.)

An hour later, the bouquet stands proudly on Yeri’s desk and you stare at it with melancholy. You briefly avert your gaze to Jimin's desk and the memories flash before your eyes. The same desk he had you bent over, skirt bunched around your waist and cock drilling into your pussy, when you both stayed together at work after hours not so long ago.  

You mentally slap yourself. Get your shit together, woman. It's not like he broke up with you. It's just some stupid holiday. It's nothing.

“Something's wrong?’’ Yeri asks you with genuine concern written on her face.  

You swallow, forcing yourself to smile. “No, everything's fine. Just a headache.”  

She eyes you suspiciously. “You sure?”

“Yeah.” you say. Even though your friend doesn’t look convinced, she eventually stops bothering you.

It's all good. My boyfriend forgot about our first Valentine's Day together but everything's alright. No worries, you want to say instead.  

Later that day, when you exit the elevator and walk straight to your apartment, a strange smell of something burning fills your nostrils. Is that food? A real fire? No, that's definitely some meat that stayed too long in the oven.

The closer you are, the smell becomes stronger, like it’s actually coming from your apartment. You furrow your eyebrows.

“What the fuck.” you mutter to yourself.  

When you open the door, your jaw falls slack, eyes wide like saucers.

Never, in your entire life, had you thought  you would see Park Jimin, your own dearest boyfriend, popping out from the kitchen with his hair disheveled, sweat coating his forehead, wearing a black suit underneath the most ridiculous apron you have ever seen: pink with a big-ass ‘mr good lookin is cookin' written in the middle.  

(Can someone remind you why are you dating him? Oh, thank God he isn’t naked underneath.)

He looks completely lost when he spots you, waving awkwardly in your direction. It's probably the first time he touched something in the kitchen that isn’t coffee machine. He’s so flustered that you almost forget he nearly turned your apartment into ashes.

“Hi, babe.” he says sheepishly.

It takes all the willpower you hold not to spit a lung watching your boyfriend who absolutely hates cooking, trying to look unimpressed by the smell of burnt food. He does a pretty poor job though, an apron not helping in the situation.

“Happy Valentine's Day!’’ he exclaims perhaps a bit too enthusiastically, approaching you and planting a kiss on your cheek. And after that, you burst into hysterical laughter.  

(Seriously, you almost lose your own breath three times.)

Jimin looks terrified but most importantly – put out. You’re probably hurting his enormous, almost the size of Russia pride right now. (Not your fault Jimin has the biggest praise kink on the planet.)  

“Why are you laughing? Is it because of the chicken? Fine, I can’t cook for shit but I tried, okay? I didn’t have enough time and it was the middle of the night in Korea so I couldn’t just facetime my mum for advice and-”

You interrupt his rambling with a searing kiss, effectively shutting him up. He falters for a moment but quickly catches up, pulling you closer to him, placing his hands on your waist and deepening the kiss.  

But then, when his about to trail kisses down your throat, you hit his arm.

“What was that for?!” Jimin yelps, looking at you with astonishment.

“I thought you fucking forgot about the Valentine’s Day!” you yell, slapping his chest. “Why didn't you tell me about this?!”

“Because the definition of surprise says you can’t reveal it sooner?” he reponds in a mocking tone.

“Oh, shut up.” you grumble and pull him in for another kiss. You could feel him smiling into it, cheekily biting onto your lower lip. He places a loving peck on your forehead and brushes the strands of your hair behind your ears. There's so much affection in his eyes you could melt into a puddle right here and there.

“I’m sorry. Jungkook told me you looked upset the whole day.” he whispers.

“I wasn't!” you protest.

“He told me you almost cried when he gave Yeri a bouquet of red roses.”  

This stupid brat.

You look up at Jimin. “Fine. I was mad. And sad. Everyone was having the time of their lives and here I was, on a verge of mental breakdown because my idiot of a boyfriend supposedly forgot about the Valentine's Day.” you say, crossing your arms over chest with a pout.  

Jimin rolls his eyes and takes your hand, leading you to the living room, where a bottle of (your absolute favourite) wine is standing on the table, along with candles and, yes, red roses. It's too cheesy and straight from the cringy rom-coms but you don't mind, because it's Jimin and he poured his heart into this and it's all that matters.

When he approaches you again, he isn’t wearing that stupid apron and you blush at how perfect he looks, almost painfully handsome. His hair needs a cut so it’s pushed back from his forehead. God reincarnated in the form of a smart, cocky archeologist who happens to be your boyfriend.

You're, well, in your black jeans and baby blue sweater and you probably stink, but Jimin assures you with his loving touches he doesn’t mind, never will. He always does that, looking at you with those sparkling eyes which say you're the most beautiful thing in the world for him.

And it doesn't matter how many times you scold him throughout the day, how many banters you have over silly things, because at the end of the day, in each others’ embraces, it feels like home for the both of you.

“Since the chicken chickened out,” Jimin says nonchalantly, filling your glasses with red wine. “We can always get drunk and watch some old romantic movies.”

You smirk. “You cried the last time when we watched ‘When Harry met Sally’.”  

Jimin clicks his tongue. “Don't test my patience, sweetheart or you won't get the presents.” he warns.

You raise your eyebrows. You hope one of them comes in the form of his dick. Suddenly, you’re reminded of your lingerie set, so you make a mental note to wear it after the shower. “Can I see those presents now?” you ask, looking at Jimin with pleading eyes. It's exactly three seconds till he softens.  

“Fine.” he mutters and heads to the bedroom.

When he comes back, he’s not alone. Literally not alone, because he's caring the most hilarious Valentine’s present you could ever think of. A giant, white teddy bear, almost in the size of him, heart-shaped balloons attached to his right paw.

“This is,” Jimin whips his head to read the name on the bear's chest. “Ted.”  

You blink. “You bought me a teddy bear named Ted?”  

Jimin opens his mouth to say some witty comment but he stops when he hears you sob. “Baby, sweetheart, what's wrong?” He kneels in front of you, the bear long forgotten on the floor. You burst into tears and Jimin tries to calm you down, rubbing soothing circles on your thighs.

Once you eventually stop crying and regain your normal breathing, you wipe your tear-strained cheeks and look down at your very much worried boyfriend. “You are an idiot, Park Jimin. A fucking idiot. That teddy bear is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever seen and I should humiliate you for giving me that but...” You take a deep breath. “But I can’t. Because I fucking love you, dumbass.”

The corners of Jimin lips lift in amusement but you’re clearly not done with your little speech, so he waits until you finish. “You organized the most cliché date ever. You read all the Grey's books. You can’t cook for shit and this stupid apron you wore? God have mercy,” You visibly cringe. “You declaim Greek philosophers when you shower. Fuck, you persuaded me to do teacher-student roleplay and I kept calling you daddy during the whole thing because you asked me to. You are everything I despise but at the same time I love you so much,” you say, tears once again welling in your eyes. “I’m sorry I’m telling you this now, even though I've realised this a long time ago.”

Jimin’s silent, so unlike him, declaring his emotions with a huge grin this time. He stands up and picks your body into his arms. You wrap your legs around his waist as he walks you both to your bedroom. He places you gingerly onto the mattress, hovering over your figure.

(Your fancy lingerie can wait for another occasion.)

“I love you too, ___.” he says, staring into your eyes. “You’re making me the happiest man in this world.”  

You roll your eyes, however there’s no use for that because your cheeks are already tainted red. “Oh, stop being such a sap.”  

He smirks. “You love when I’m like this.”  

“That is, in fact, not true.”  

You’re lying and he knows it, but he always lets you banter with him like this anyway.  

“Then what do you want me to be today?” he asks, his hands travel down to your zipper, then pull down your jeans. “Sweet? Loving?” He helps you take off your sweater and you’re left with nothing on beside your underwear. “Or do you want me to be rough? Push you around and fuck you stupid?” You gulp, your attitude successfully shut down. “Come on, use your words.”  

Somehow, you manage to gain your composure. “Want you to take off your clothes first.”  

Jimin chuckles, lowly and with a promise of more to come if you’re patient and behaving well, according to his commands. “You’re not the one to give orders here, baby.” he retorts. Then, he’s gripping your knees, pulling your legs apart and putting your pussy on full display for him.  

There’s already a dark, wet patch forming on your grey panties and he tsks disapprovingly. “You’re wet and I haven’t even touched you yet. You want it that much, huh?”  

You nod. “Please, touch me.”  

“Try again.”  

So he’s in that mood today. You’ve explored a fair share of kinks with Jimin so far and what you know for sure is that he always takes the leading role in bed. He likes to dominate, be the one in charge, railing you into the mattress until you’re crying out so loud your neighbours are banging on your walls.  

You slip into your role naturally, your usual confident behaviour gone and replaced with timidity. He relishes in seeing you like this, helpless and vulnerable, a stark contrast to how you act on daily basis.  

Jimin pins you with his dark stare and you give in. ‘”Yes, sir.”  

“Good girl.”  

He rewards you with a feather-like touch of his fingers on your pussy. He finds your clit with ease, rubbing it with practiced strokes until more juices drip down from your hole, wetting your panties embarrassingly fast. Your legs shake with want for more, to feel him sink his digits knuckle-deep into your cunt and finger you like he did that one time in a bathroom on your flight to Japan.  

He doesn’t seem the slightest bothered with your state, ignoring your pleading eyes and wanton moans. He hasn’t even taken off your underwear yet and you’re already on the verge of an orgasm.  

Jimin knows your body inside and out, probably better than you do, so it doesn’t come as a surprise to you that he can sense when you’re about to climax. He withdraws his hand from your center seconds before your release. You can’t help but huff with annoyance.

“Something's wrong, babygirl?” he asks, saccharine-sweet and annoyingly innocent.  

Your retort dies on your tongue the moment he decides to unbutton his white dress shirt. You’re too distracted with delicious lines of his sculpted chest to complain about your denied pleasure anymore. Your hands itch to touch him but you stay immobile, devouring him with your eyes instead.  

Jimin notices you're staring and smirks. “Like what you see?”  

You nod. “Yes, sir.”  

He then stands up from the bed and motions for you to come closer. You oblige without an ounce of confusion, crawling until you’re sitting on your heels in front of him. It’s a rather humiliating position but you can’t help but feel the rush of adrenaline in your veins when he cups your chin and tilts your head up.  

“Take off my pants.”  

You rush to obey, unbuckling his belt with shaky hands because you know what’s coming next once his pants are pulled down. He’s already hard, the prominent bulge of his cock straining in his briefs.  

“Now my underwear.”  

You nearly moan out loud when his cock slaps his abdomen, mouth salivating to take him in deep but you don’t dare touch him without a directed instruction. He makes sure your eyes are on him and starts stroking himself, spreading the precum all over his length, hissing when his thumb rubs the sensitive head of his cock.  

Jimin groans, low and throaty, and you whimper quietly in response. “What, baby? You want my cock that much?” he asks, his left palm cupping your cheek. You whisper a meek “Please” and he chuckles. “Come on then. Show me what that slutty mouth of yours can do. Open up.”  

Your lips part on command and you nearly moan when he guides his cock into your mouth. You’ve sucked Jimin's dick enough times to know what he likes, what brings him to the edge quicker than hitting the back of your throat. You lick the tip of his cock, eyes darting to check his reaction and, just as you expected, his features twist in pleasure.  

You relish in a minute or two of the control you have over him before he grows bored with your teasing and decides to fuck your mouth instead. But for now, you make sure to have him suffer a little for that stunt he pulled earlier when he didn’t make you come.  

You take him deeper, hollowing your cheeks for extra stimulation. Your hands reach to fondle his balls and you smirk around his cock when you hear a groan leave Jimin's mouth. “Good girl,” he murmurs, stroking your cheek. You lean into his touch, moaning at the praise. “My pretty slut.”  

The first hit on the back of your throat makes you gag because fuck, is he big. The only thing bigger than Jimin's ego seems to be his dick, apparently. When he threads fis fingers through your hair you know what’s about to come; jaw relaxed, saliva dripping down from the corners of your mouth, you’re ready to be ruined.  

He withdraws, giving you exactly five seconds to breathe and then pushes forcefully inside. Your mind is filled with mental images of him giving your pussy the same treatment later. You would whimper at the thought, if your mouth wasn’t stuffed full of dick. Instead, you give your best, swallowing every inch of him obediently.  

“That’s it,” he rasps, clamping one hand on the back of your neck for better leverage. “You’re doing so good, baby.” When he nudges the back of your throat again, you feel him throb. He pulls away from the warmth of your mouth seconds later, panting heavily. He falls back onto the bed and pats his thighs. “Come here.”  

You scoot closer to him and crawl onto his lap. He smiles at you from below, pulling you in for a kiss. The hands he previously gripped your waist with now travel upwards, unhooking your bra. Your hips unconsciously move, pussy gliding along the flexed muscles of his thigh.  

Jimin notices your desperate attempt at getting some friction on your most sensitive parts and helps you rock your hips. He moves your panties to the side and you moan, felling the delicious pressure on your bare center. He’s watching with amusement as you’re falling apart on his thigh, thumb reaching to rub your clit. You cry out, climaxing so hard you’re almost seeing stars behind your closed eyelids.

He keeps helping you ride out your high until you’re whimpering from the overstimulation. “Did you like it?” he then asks, urging you to look at him. “You were so desperate to come, sweetheart. Fucking yourself on my thigh like a bitch in heat,” You whine instead of responding, earning a harsh smack on your ass. “Use your words.”  

Another slap lands on your cheek and you mewl. “Yes, I loved it, sir.”  

He chuckles, maneuvering your body so you’re now positioned over his cock. He gives your ass a firm squeeze and you whimper, arousal dripping down the inside of your thighs despite orgasming just minutes ago. “Ride me, baby.” he says.  

You hurry to obey, guiding his cock inside you. It's a tight fit but your wetness makes it smoother to push him deeper. “So big,” you mumble, bottoming out. You know damn well Jimin likes to be praised and if the smirk that stretches on his lips is anything to go by, he enjoys what you just said. “That feels so good, sir.” You start moving your hips languidly.  

“Yeah?” Jimin quips, hands gripping your waist so tightly it almost makes the skin bruise. “Then show me what a good girl you are for me. Fuck, look at you. You’re so hot.” His palms cup your breasts, thumbs stroking your nipples.  

You keen at the praise and quicken your pace. Your thighs start to burn but you ignore that, bouncing on your boyfriend’s dick like there’s no tomorrow. The room is filled with lewd noises, skin slapping on skin. Jimin looks down, staring at his cock coated in your juices as it disappears inside your hole. He curses at the sight.  

Your legs start to shake, huffs leaving your lips. “Sir–please,” you whine, feeling yourself getting closer to the edge.  

“What do you need, babygirl?” he asks, pinching your nipples. You squeal, your pace losing its previous rhythm.  

“I’m so close.” you stammer. “Please–touch me.”  

“Where you do you want me to touch you, baby?” He ignores your whimpers, the way your pussy keeps squeezing his cock in a vice grip. “Here?” He touches your tits again and you shake your head violently. “Or here–” His fingers find your clit and you cry out loudly. You feel so full, his cock hits your cervix every time you drop down onto him.

“Yes, yes,” you chant, mouth wide open and eyes squeezed shut. You probably look right now like a professional porn star but you couldn’t care less, not when you’re so close to the climax. “Sir–fuckfuckfuck, please!”

“There you go,” Jimin coos, circling your sensitive bud with his thumb. “Come for me, baby.”  

You’re gushing around his dick, arousal leaking out of your hole and coating his thighs with your release. Your upper body gives out and you collapse onto Jimin, your cunt pulsing from the intense pleasure you’ve just experienced.  

“Oh god,” you mumble. “I just saw the answer to the whole universe.”  

You feel Jimin's chest shaking with laughter and when you look up, you find him grinning at you. “That good?”  

“That good.” you confirm, sighing tiredly.  

“Are you okay?” You hear him asking. No matter how much he likes to push you around and fuck until you’re seeing stars, he always makes sure if you’re feeling comfortable to continue.  

You spare him a nod. “You know I can handle it,” you say, lifting yourself up. “I’m a tough girl, right?” Despite the oversensitivity, you start rocking your hips again. “M-made for you.”

Jimin smirks. “Yeah, made for me,” he confirms and slaps your ass. Your pussy flatters around his cock. “Not like this,” he mutters and turns you onto your back with one, swift motion. “Much better.”  

You pout. “You didn’t like it when I was riding your cock, sir?” You’re bluffing, but a girl can her fun too.  

He clicks his tongue, guiding his cock through your folds again. “Oh, baby, I was enjoying it very much,” he says, picking up his speed. Your legs wrap around his waist, pulling him even closer. “But now I want it harder.”  

He fucks you just like he likes the most; fast and rough, unforgiving. He leans down for a messy kiss that’s all teeth tongue and his eyes nearly bulge out of his head when he sees his saliva dripping down your chin.  

(He decides right here and there that he might wanna explore his newfound fantasy soon.)

Soon you’re feeling the coil in your stomach tightening for the second time, embarrassingly quickly so. You moan, cunt squeezing around his dick. “Again?” Jimin asks, voice laced with both mirth and disbelief. Tears well in your eyes and you give him a nod. “Such a fucking slut.” he spits, slithering himself into you even faster than before.

Your third and final orgasm is so powerful and sudden, it nearly makes you black out. Jimin curses, fucking you through it. “Kiss me,” you whimper deliriously and he obliges, slipping his tongue inside your mouth. “I love you.” you whisper into his lips and that’s what sends him over the edge.

“I love you, I love you–fuck.” he groans and spills himself inside, coating your pussy with his seed.

He collapses next you, chest heaving with every exhale. Your legs feel like jelly and you know you’ll have trouble walking tomorrow. Just when you’re about to tell Jimin to call in sick and spend the whole day in bed instead, he suddenly sits up.

“Wait, I forgot I have another present for us.” he says, rushing to pick something up from underneath the bed.

You sigh, pinching the bridge of your nose. “Jimin, I swear to God, if you bought us matching t-shirts–”

He grins like a child, showing you two white pillows, the most basic ones you could ever think of, with ‘his side’ and ‘her side' written on them. It's cringy and ridiculous and you fight an urge to punch him, but you don't.  

Because it's Jimin and you will never complain about it.

Because you love him. And that's all that matters.

[anime-grimmy-art]

Told you guys I’d ramble in due time.

I absolutely adore Bravely Default 2. It came at a really bad time cos I can’t waste 70 hours on a jrpg, but well, it’s too late to be concerned about that now. And as is tradition with me obsessing over a new game / show / whatever, you’ll basically find a fullblown review disguised as ramblings right under the cut. Be aware that I’m gonna talk about EVERYTHING, so spoilers are a given. Some maybe even for the previous Bravely Default games.

Also, if you wanna talk about this game in any capacity, hit me up, I’m DESPERATE to talk more about it.

Just for reference on how long this is gonna be, I made a voice recording while driving to remember all the points I wanna make, and that recording is almost 2 hours long. I did cut it down but still, this is gonna be a lot.

I’ll start off with the things that actually bugged me about the game, since there are only 3 things that really bothered me. First of, I really don’t like that you can name Seth. He has too much personality to be a self insert and player integration is not that big of a part in the game that this decision can be justified. It wouldn’t bother me that much if it didn’t leave a bad mark on the ending. First of all, we were robbed of Gloria desperately shouting for Seth, which makes the impact work less, and it’s just so prevalent that the name can’t be said because you have all the normal sound design going. If they’d just let the credits still play I wouldn’t have batted an eye, but because every other sound comes in it’s so obvious they’re just silently shouting in this scene, which makes it look silly. Like I said, this decision is more a detriment than an addition, and it’s a shame it casts a shadow on an otherwise heartfelt ending.

Speaking about lost potential, the other thing that really bothers me is the lost potential in certain plot points and character conclusions. I mainly mean Adam and Edna here. Both of them have been built up to be these formidable foes but they just, die. If it was just Adam I’d be fine with it, since you expect Edna to backstab him and be the actual big bad of the story, but I cannot fathom why they dropped Edna this HARD. If not Edna herself, I don’t understand why we don’t get more of a reaction from the Fairies and especially Adelle. I mean, Edna was her sole reason she left for her journey in the first place, then Edna dies and that’s it? No part where she grieves for a second? No concern from the others about Adelle? Mind you, I haven’t finished all the Sidequests, so maybe there actually is one in which this is addressed, but I think even just a Party Chat after Bad End 1 would have been sufficient to show how Adelle suddenly feels about the loss of Edna. It would have made Bad End 2 / The Secret Ending even more impactful, because, yeah, of course, you kinda know Adelle isn’t going to turn her back on fairy kind, but one of the reasons she doesn’t leave is because if Enda didn’t get a happy ending, then she shouldn’t either. It would have been amazing foreshadowing if she showed this sentiment before this scene happened. Other than that, it’s a shame that we know so little about Edna, or rather, how she became “bad”. I get she’s supposed to be corrupted by the Night’s Nexus, but how did it even come to this? It can’t have been a gradual thing, after all, Adelle says Edna was always good natured and then just disappeared one day. Really would have loved seeing more of that plot point.

Ok, last gripe I have, some choices in the soundtrack and sound design. Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely love the OST, and I will get to that, but damn, whatever Revo used for the lead instrument in Wiswald hurts my ears. It’s a really good track, but I always have to turn down my volume because these high pitched sounds physically hurt. And for sound design. Dude, the Night’s Nexus is the least threatening, nightmare fueled abomination that ever existed. I get that its growl is kinda supposed to be layered with Edna’s or sth, but it, it just sounds silly. If they went the route of just swinging between different voices or began distorting it from phase to phase, it would have been fine. But the choice they made really made an otherwise creepy design just absolutely silly.

Ok, enough jammering, on to the good stuff. Like I said, there’s going to be a lot, so I’ll try to be brief in each aspect.

Gameplay

I honestly like the new battle mechanics more than the old ones. This individual, turn based system feels way more dynamic and it’s easier to strategies in battles. Because nothing made me more angry than setting up for a heal and the enemy suddenly being faster than me and killing my healer. Now it’s easier to plan ahead a bit.

I also found myself experimenting more with the jobs. Not sure what it really is, but none of the party members leaning more towards certain types of jobs and the job leveling being way faster probably helped.

And I know some people get up in arms because the boss sometimes can be a real pain in the ass (looking at you pope dude), I still found it very interesting getting around counters or even using these counters as a benefit. As an example, I made Adelle my main physical fighter and gave her lots of counter abilities to help her profit from being countered by enemies themselves. Now, she can attack enemies, get countered, automatically evade that counter and earn a BP at the same time. Made a lot of boss fights way easier and fun to exploit.

Music

Ok, I will try my best to be really, really brief, because in my recording this part takes up almost 40 minutes. Anyways, Revo might have just become one of my absolute favorite composers ever. I don’t know what kind of magic he used, but I initially wasn’t that impressed with the OST, but every time I listened to it, I just fell in love harder and harder. Before getting into specifics, I wanna highlight the two things that made me love this OST overall. First of all, this soundtrack almost seems like a refinement of BD’s. While losing some of that fairytale vibe, it sounds even more fantasy now. And in contrast to the original, this almost sounds more balanced? Like, BD’s OST felt high energy throughout, BD2’s on the other hand manages to find a good balance between high and low energy pieces. Like, the character themes or battle themes are absolute hype, but the overworld themes are a lot calmer and easier to listen to while exploring. Second big point that makes this soundtrack amazing is that Revo is an absolute god at using emotional progression/storytelling and leitmotifs in his songs. And heck, do I love myself my leitmotifs. You’ve got some obvious ones, like the final battle theme in which all the character themes and other leitmotifs are integrated. Then you got some maybe more subtle once, just like how the overworld themes are just the main theme, just a lot calmer and using the lead instruments of the towns of the areas.

But my absolute favourites gotta be the character themes and the main theme. I love how fitting the themes for the characters are and in general, each of them is such a bop. At first I prefered Elvis’, because I sure am a sucker for jazzy vibes, but over time Adelle’s became my fav. It’s just something about the trumpets, and how the theme almost sounds a bit melancholic and bittersweet, that drew me in. And considering her story, mostly her bad end, that the bittersweet tone really fits.

Then there’s the main theme. Just like BD’s it shouts “triumphant anthem” and it definitely gives you a very familiar vibe, but I’d argue it has even better emotional progression. Heck, the first time I heard the music start up in the reveal trailer, I didn’t have to look at the screen to know this is gonna be a BD game. Also, the credit song version had me weeping at the true end. I’m someone who’s very easily affected by music (if me shouting about soundtracks on this blog wasn’t proof enough) and just hearing that ending song, getting the after credits scene, just for the second credits to start as a freaking duet. Dude, at that point I just started sobbing, I’m not gonna lie. Just this little part showed how much Revo knows how to put emotion in a song and also write it in such a way that he can elicit strong, emotional reactions from you too. 

Story

People have been complaining how the story is too boring and kinda disappointing in comparison to the last one, but I just think the games tried to accomplish different things here. Since the BD series is a celebration of old, classic jrpgs, “cliche” storytelling is a given. Though, BD did throw a lot of meta stuff in there too. BD2 in contrast just feels like a direct execution of that initial idea. It feels familiar, it feels comfy and it feels safe. Except for the little things with the endings and then overwriting the Nexus’ “save file”, BD2 doesn’t really get that meta, which is totally fine. It doesn’t try to reinvent or innovate anything, it just wants to be a fantasy story, that might be cliche, but still fun and enjoyable in its own right.

I’d also argue that the pacing is a lot better than the old game, because with BD I sometimes found myself skipping through scenes to get on with the story. Not that this game didn’t have me rushing through stuff as well, but I found it kept my intrigue way better than the original.

Characters

Next to the music, this is the part that I absolutely love the most. While, yes, they did lose a lot of potential with some characters, mostly with the villains, the main cast is just so much fun. I love these 4 dorks so, so much.

I honestly can’t stand how much people compare them to the original cast. Yes, ofc, I’ve been doing my fair share of comparisons too, but calling these four a more boring version of BD’s party physically hurts me. Because except for some initial impressions, the Heroes of Light are completely different from our beloved Warriors of Light.

While yes, Seth and Gloria give off strong Tiz and Agnes vibes at first, they both grow into such different characters that they’re not really comparable. I think this shows with Adelle and Elvis even more. I do understand how people could compare Adelle and Edea, since they’re both the feisty girl type, but I can’t understand how people can see Ringabel and Elvis as the same character type. While those two are the “suave” party members, they act so differently from another. And that’s honestly apparent the first time you meet them. 

Anyways, I love these 4 so much.

We technically don’t know a lot about Seth at all, but they manage to pull so much out of just the fact that he’s a sailor, that it makes him really endearing, really fast.

I was kinda disinterested with Gloria at first, because again, the initial impression was Agnés2.0, but she grew on me a lot. Gloria is way more hard headed and honestly sassy in comparison to Agnés and I absolutely adore it.

Elvis. Elvis, my man. I love this fantasy scottosh wizard so, so much. He’s such a ridiculous character but so endearing at the same time. You got all this dorkiness, with him setting himself on fire as a student, him doing god knows what for a good drink or just laughing danger and prejudice in the face. But then you got his super empathetic and caring side. Mind you, most of his wise moments come from quoting Lady Emma, but still, as much as he’s hopeless with certain social situations, he’s actually still really good at reading the room and playing things smart. He’s a smart and powerful idiot, which makes him a danger to everyone and himself, and I love him for it. (I also can’t believe they called him Lesley I MEAN COME ON)

And then there’s Adelle. I liked her from the start, but I didn’t think she would stick out to me. I think now she’s my favourite character. Not even talking about all the stuff that happens in chapter 3 and onward, because these story threads are awesome in their own right, but there’s just something about her personality that’s interesting and appealing to me. Like I said, I’m not surprised people compare her to Edea, I did too at first, but while Edea walks very close to the line of a Tsundere, I was really surprised that Adelle is, well, not a Tsundere at all. Yeah, of course she’s putting Elvis down a lot, but that stems more from her preventing his ego from going to his head than her being all embarrassed. No, Adelle is actually really well adjusted when it comes to communication. While it’s hilarious that she and Elvis met with her chucking her shoes at him, the two just got along well right from the start. Adelle in general has this really open and helpful personality, but also doesn’t shy away from putting her foot down, even if that sometimes comes out as an embarrassed sputter. She’s also the mother hen of the group. She looks out for the other three and gets concerned about them real fast. 

I dunno, Adelle just really grew on me over the course of this game, and then her kinda being paired with Elvis too, as partners and as partners, makes me like her even more. Because as much as I like their personalities individually, I like their character dynamic even more. I honestly love the relationships between all four of them a lot. You really feel them grow closer as friends and all the little character sidequests just always made me really happy.

Conclusion

You might not believe me, but I really held back there. This could probably have been 3 times its length. As much as I love this game, it’s of course not perfect. It struggles and flails in some parts a lot and it certainly has some aspects that might turn people off. But for me, it was just a very familiar and comfy game that didn’t necessarily deliver anything new, but that told its story in such a way that it still got me excited to keep going. The soundtrack is absolutely amazing and the conclusion of the story actually got me to cry. While not groundbreaking, this game is highly enjoyable and leaves you absolutely satisfied at the end.

Also, I would like to iterate that I am desperate to get more content about this game, so if you wanna chat about it, hit me up.

Anyways, anyone else felt like having a fever dream when everybody in chapter 2 started talking fantasy scottish? Cos I sure did.