#I mentioned it to my sister when I realized such

[softmamawrites]

Love Within These Halls: Part 2

The second installment of LWTH, we don’t see as much Brenny I’m sorry for that.

19.3k words

Warnings: swearing, John not being nice to himself, talking of pee, masturbation in front of someone else, semi-public sex, soft penis blowjobs, handjobs, first time smut, some more not nice talking about penises, PTSD mentions, mentions of blood

mood board done by me

dividers done by: @firefly-graphics

special thank you to @trashbag-baby666 for listening to me ramble, helping me brain storm, indulging my Clegan thoughts, and being an amazing support. thank you 💕

“Knock knock…can I come in?” Marge asks as she stands outside of John’s room, the door halfway open. Showing off the boy sitting in his bed, freshly showered and scrolling through his phone. Looking through the pictures his sister had sent him of her class trip to D.C. Raising an eyebrow as he sees the blonde girl, they had only really talked a handful of times. She was usually attached to Gale’s hip when she was here, and he hadn’t really talked to Gale in a few days. The blond keeping his distance, seeming to realize better than John how upset he was.

“You can come in…” He trails off, waiting for the boy who’s been on his mind constantly to come into the room. A little bloom of disappointment filling his chest when he notices it’s just Marge stepping in. She leans against the foot of his bed, her hip cocked to keep herself balanced. Arms crossing over her chest as she stares at John, both of them not saying anything for a minute.

“I like you Bucky, I really do, but making my best friend cry. That takes you down a few notches on my list of likable people. I’m not here to fight Gale’s battles for him, but I am here to tell you ignoring him isn’t okay. I know he’s the king of ignoring people, but he isn’t going to come to you this time. He thinks you’re mad at him, which if you are…fuck you. He didn’t do anything wrong, you should be happy that he gets to come home. He’s put in a lot of work to get there, more than you’ve seen. So what I’m saying is, apologize for being a dick, and decide from there if this is something you still want to pursue.” The black haired boy sits there, staring at her, not knowing what to say. Taken aback by how incredibly calm she is, not used to dealing with calm women. He takes a deep breath and rubs his palms over his basketball shorts, looking out the window. Before he looks back at her again, seeing her patiently waiting.

“When do you guys leave?”

“We’re heading out of here at 430 today…gives you about three hours Egan.” She tells the older boy, before she’s pushing off of his bed and heading back for his door. Turning slightly with her hand on the wood, taking a deep breath and contemplating for a minute.

“He really does like you John…it might not seem like it. But he does, trust me, I’ve known him since we were three years old.” Bucky nods softly and watches her walk out, looking at the clock on his wall. Eyes trailing over the calendar, sighing softly as he sees all of the markings on it. Gale having doodled some little pictures on the edges, little cartoon characters that John didn’t recognize. Picking up his phone he clicks over to the text chats, chewing on his lower lip as he clicks his and Buck’s.

From: John 😊

To: Buck 😍

‘I know you’re packing and whatnot today…but would you have a few minutes to come down to my room? I’ve been put on bed rest for the rest of today. If not I understand, I’ve been a real jerk the last few days.’

From: Buck 😍

To: John 😊

‘You have been a real jerk…give me 30 minutes and I’ll come down. You do realize you’ll have to tell me why you got put on bed rest now.’

John smiles softly as he looks at the message, running a hand down his face and shifting in bed. Using his arms to push himself upright better, tucking one of his wedge pillows into his side. Reaching for his brush to try and fix his hair, groaning when it hits the floor. Frowning as he reaches for his baseball cap instead, putting it on backwards.

Trying not to let the ball of anxiety in his stomach grow as he waits for Gale. Looking up at the gentle knock on his doorframe, seeing the tall blond standing there. His eyes downcast as he waits for permission to come into the room, something tugging on John’s chest. He did not like this version of Gale, this version of Gale made him feel nauseous.

“You can come in Buck.” The younger boy slowly comes into the room, leaning exactly where Marge did earlier. His hip and thigh resting against the footboard of John’s bed. His arms crossed over his chest, bunching up the sweater he’s wearing today. Rubbing the toe of his shoe into the ground slightly, while he chews on his lower lip.

“I’m…I’m sorry Gale, I’m really really happy for you that you get to go home. I know you’ve worked really hard to get to do that, you should be proud of you. I know I am.” John says as he looks at the blond, watching as his eyes come up. Pretty blue eyes sad around the edges, making Bucky’s heart ache a little bit. Knowing he’s the one who put that sad look in those blue orbs. He shifts slightly to try and reach forward for Gale’s hand, the boy shaking his head slightly.

“You didn’t give me the chance to tell you, I really was going to. I got distracted when I saw you…because you make me feel so fucking good John. You’ve ignored me for the past three days and it’s been absolutely awful. And it terrifies me how much I enjoy being around you…I’ve never had that before. I’ve never had anyone besides Marge. And I want you, I want you so so much. But not if this is how it’s going to be…not if you’re going to ignore me.” Buck gets out, it all seeming to spill out of him without his consent. Shoulders deflating in the slightest bit, refusing to meet John’s eyes. Bucky makes a soft sound, taking a deep breath as he sits there. Frustrated that he can’t get up to hug the other, but realizing that Gale doesn’t want a hug right now. He doesn’t deal with his emotions with physical touch like John does, physical touch hasn’t always been an answer for Gale. He’s had to learn how to self soothe, he’s had to be there for himself always.

“Gale, I need you to hear me when I say I’m sorry. I really really love being around you, it’s the best time I’ve had in the past few weeks. I don’t want you to think you’re by yourself, I don’t want you to feel alone, I want you to know I’m here for you. I’m so sorry I ignored you, I know that doesn’t fix everything. It doesn’t even come close, but please believe me when I say I won’t let it happen again. I didn’t know what to say, I felt like a fucking idiot, and I didn’t know if you’d still want to do what we’ve been doing once you left. And…I want to go home. I want to leave this place behind so I wouldn’t blame you if you didn’t want to come back here either.” Bucky explains as he sits there, rubbing his hands on his sweat pants. Not expecting it when he feels arms curling around his neck, the burst of vanilla cologne filling his nose. Citrus aftershave following close behind, a nose tucking above his ear while his head snugs in against Gale’s collar bone. His own arms coming up to curl around the blond’s narrow waist, tugging him closer until the boy is kneeling on the bed next to him. Both of them breathing quietly, digesting what the other has said.

“You’re an idiot…of course I want to keep talking to you and seeing you. I want to keep doing this…I’d like for this to have some kind of label, because Marge calling us fuck buddies isn’t great. But if that doesn’t happen then it doesn’t happen. But you’re a giant idiot John.” The black haired boy laughs quietly and nods his head, large palms rubbing up Gale’s sides. Squeezing softly and holding him a little closer to himself, nuzzling into his skin. Eyes staying closed as he feels the warmth radiating off of the younger boy.

“I am an idiot…but I’m your idiot. Or I’d like to be…if you’ll still have me.” Gale pulls away from John’s hair, looking down at him with soft eyes. His palms coming up to cup Bucky’s curls, knocking his ball cap off of his head. Before he’s resting his forehead down onto the older boy’s, breathing deeply. Scooting just a little closer, their chests touching now as Gale rests against the other boy.

“You know you still have to tell me why you’re on bed rest, don’t think for a minute that I forgot.” John groans softly as he pulls away from the blond, looking at him with a pleading expression. An embarrassed flush starting on the tips of his ears, before he’s meeting Gale’s eyes again. A sheepish smile forming on his face, groaning while dropping his head back onto one of his pillows.

“I was being an asshole and tried to transfer myself off of the shower bench, ate shit, twisted my ankle, and got told off by Danica. Patrick is on vacation and she was not happy with me at all. Depending on how my ankle looks tomorrow will depend on if I can do actual PT or if it’ll be stretches here in my room.” Gale looks at him for a minute, blinking slowly before he lets out a snort. Shaking his head slightly before he starts actually laughing, head tipping forward with his snickers. John smiling a bit at the sound, looking up when he sees Marge standing in the doorway. An approving smile on her lips as she leans against the door jam, watching her best friend laugh.

“I’m really glad to see you two have made up.” Marge says, Gale looking up from where he’s been wiping his tears. Watching as his best friend comes farther into the room, a little grin on her face. Before she’s perching herself at the end of John’s bed, humming at the coziness of it.

“Marge can I introduce you to my idiot, John Egan.” Gale says smirking a bit, Bucky groaning softly as he looks at the blond. Marge letting out a laugh at that, seeing the little loved up smile on Gale’s face. His eyes holding a sort of softness to them that she’s never witnessed before. His cornflower blue eyes trained on John’s face, admiring the curve of his Adam’s apple and throat.

“That’s gonna stick isn’t it?” John questions as he looks at the blond, seeing the grin on his face before he’s nodding. Bucky smiling softly as he rubs his hand up Gale’s back gently, glad they are on better terms. The uneasiness that’s been like a ball in his stomach lessening.

————————

“John…I know you’re not going to like what I have to say right now. But your friend…he looks incredibly pathetic sitting out there by himself. Everyone else has left from their visiting times and he’s just waiting out there. He’s been here every single week waiting for you. How much longer are you going to punish him?” Gale asks once he’s stepped into the black haired boy’s room, looking at his boyfriend. Seeing the way he’s trying to tug off his shoe, huffing softly at the pull in his back. The blond walking over and tugging off his shoes for him, setting them in their designated place. Knowing John will roll right over them with his chair if they don’t go back where they belong.

“I’m not punishing him…”

“John, he’s been coming here every week for almost two and a half months. You’re torturing him because he knows you’re down here, maybe he just wants to get eyes on you. I’m sure the last time he saw you was not a good experience for either of you.” Gale states as he works on one calf muscle, before going to the next. Kneading his muscles tenderly, before he’s looking up at John. Seeing him staring out of the window, a pensive look on his face as he sits there.

“You really should see the massage therapist, I know it gets offered to you. I don’t know why you decline it every time though, your muscles are really tight. It would probably help.” John swallows thickly, looking down at his boyfriend finally. Meeting his gaze, watching as Gale rests his palms on Bucky’s kneecaps. Rubbing his thumbs into the sides gently, feeling the slight twitch from John’s right leg. Smiling a bit at the ticklish reaction, before he’s meeting Bucky’s gaze again.

“Massage therapy makes me nervous, they’re going to touch my body and I can’t feel it all of the way anymore. And it would be Danica rubbing me down…it’d be weird…he looks pathetic?” Gale hums softly and nods his head, looking up at his boyfriend again. Seeing the way he’s staring out the window, before he lets out a deep breath. Eyes darting over to the clock on his wall, and then looking back at Gale.

“I’ll go with you if you want honey.” John shakes his head slightly and runs his calloused hands over his face. Before he’s leaning forward and resting his forehead on Gale’s, eyes closed while he sits there for a minute.

“I gotta do it on my own.”

John slowly wheels himself into the visiting area, brows furrowed as he goes. Lifting his head to look around, seeing the head of black hair sitting at one of the tables. Shoulders scrunched down in his leather jacket, no doubt fiddling with his thumbs. His leg jiggling as he sits there, making his body bounce slightly.

“I’m only coming out here because my boyfriend said you looked pathetic.” John states as he stops his chair behind Curt, giving the boy a chance to flip around. The plastic chair he’s sitting in screeching slightly in his fast movements. His electric blue eyes wide, not at all having expected John to come out today. He had been trying for almost two and a half months, once John’s older sister had told him where he was. He made the weekly visits, every Wednesday coming to sit and wait for a few hours. Just to see if John would give him the time of day, he wanted to lay eyes on a more coherent Bucky.

“Y you’ve got a boyfriend now?” Curt gets out, scolding himself mentally for that being the first thing he says to his best friend. Watching as John shifts in his chair, arms crossing over his chest. Breathing deeply as he stares at Curtis, seeing how his blue eyes don’t have that same boyish shine to them anymore. Bone deep exhausted bags under his eyes, making a frown form on Bucky’s face. Curt wincing as he waits for the younger boy to tell him to go, clenching his fist against the back of the chair as he waits.

“You look like shit.”

“Yea…I know. Haven’t slept a night through in almost three and a half months.” Curtis responds, watching as John slowly wheels himself over towards the table. Carefully turning himself so he can watch his best friend, not missing how John eyes the cookies. Homemade from his Nan, he knew the younger boy loved them, and if it was a bit of bribery he would never admit it. John wheels himself up to the table, pushing one of the chairs over slightly so he fits better. Curt moving to grab it, before he sees Bucky shaking his head slightly.

“If you’re going to start apologizing, I’ll wheel out of here. I’ve had a little time to think on it, it wasn’t your fault that night. And…I’m sorry for how I acted towards you when you came to the hospital before.” John voices like it’s been rehearsed, it had been, a few times to Gale. The boy was anxious about seeing Curt again, the older was always his rock. He always could rely on him, and Bucky had pushed him away.

Disregarding any of Curtis’ feelings, how the accident might have affected him, how this entire mess was hurting his best friend. Looking up when he hears the stifled sound come out of Curt’s mouth, he sees the boy with tears in his eyes. Trying to frantically wipe them away, John feeling a little helpless. He had never seen Curt cry before, not even when he broke his ankle during a football game being tackled.

“Jesus Christ Bucky…I shouldn’t have let Ham get behind the wheel that night. I knew how fucked up he was, we all should have just walked home or something. I didn’t even know what happened until the next day, it was Janie who told me how bad you got hurt. And when I saw you in that hospital bed, fuck John, it hurt so bad. And I was trying to give you space, I really was, I just needed to see you more…alive.” Curt finishes before he’s covering his face again, shoulders shaking slightly. Crying quietly into his palms as he sits there, almost jumping out of his skin when he feels Bucky pulling him into a hug. His arms curling around the taller boy’s shoulders, hugging him tightly while burying his face in his throat. John keeps his arms around the smaller boy’s waist, hugging him to his body.

“I don’t need to forgive you…because you didn’t do anything wrong Curt. But you need to forgive yourself.” John murmurs quietly as he holds his best friend a little tighter to himself. Feeling the way the other boy’s hands scrabble to grab the back of his shirt. Letting him cry for as long as he needs to, rubbing his back through his leather jacket.

————————

“Gale? What are you doing here?” Brady asks as he stops outside of John’s room, furrowing his eyebrows when he sees Gale sitting and reading a book. Brady was coming to sit with Bucky and watch a movie, or the latest episode of the show they’ve been binging. Brady having needed to find something to keep himself occupied now that Gale had gone home. The brunet missing his friend even if they did text every single day.

“I’m waiting for John, he’s in the rec room visiting his friend. How are you? No Benny today?” Gale questions, popping his bookmark into his book. Sitting up straighter in John’s bed, moving one of the wedge pillows the boy has there. Setting his book on John’s tray table, smiling as he sees Brady slowly stepping into the room.

“N no, he had an emergency meeting or something with school. Couldn’t come today.” Brady responds, shrugging softly as he fiddles with his rosary. Rubbing his fingers over the smooth beads, Gale watching as he silently counts them. Realizing briefly that Brady is doing better than when he was first admitted. His hands weren’t always scrubbed raw anymore, and he didn’t pace as often. He had even touched Meatball a handful of times without having a full blown panic attack. Benny giving praise each time, which would in turn make Brady blush a furious red color.

“Are you guys talking more regularly now? I know he asked for your number last time he was here.” Gale says, trying not to pry but wanting his friend to know he can talk. Gale was working hard on making and keeping connections. Still diligently coming to therapy once a week on Thursdays with Maureen. He usually would see John afterwards, and that usually meant he stayed for dinner. Him and Marge lived together now in her two bedroom apartment, so they ate dinner together every night. And Gale would be lying if he said he remembered to eat every meal every day. But he was putting in the conscious effort to at least try.

“Y yea, we are. He texts me pictures of Meatball sometimes…we FaceTimed the other night for a little bit. That was nice, he was doing homework but it was nice to still talk to him.” The blond boy smiles as he looks at his friend, seeing how he’s stopped fidgeting. The beads just an accessory in his hand, holding them in his palm instead of obsessively counting them. Brady knew every groove, every edge, how many beads there are, and how many silver pieces. He knew this rosary like it was a piece of his body, because it was essentially an extension of himself.

“That sounds like it’s really nice, I’m really glad to hear that you guys are talking more.” They both look over at the sound of wheels rolling closer to the room. John coming into view just a moment later, Gale holding his breath slightly. Not sure what kind of mood the older boy is going to be in, watching as he wheels himself into the room. Looking up from where he’s been staring at his knee caps, exposed by his basket ball shorts. A bag of cookies sitting in his lap, chocolate chip if Gale could see correctly.

“Oh…hey Little John, is it marvel movie time?”

John asks, slightly confused as he looks at the brunet, flicking his eyes to Gale. Not really having the energy to entertain Brady tonight but also knowing that he’s been lonely since Gale got discharged. Brady looks at the older boy, before he’s shaking his head slightly, even if it disrupts his routine. He would be okay, he could go to his room or go to the rec room to find something to do. Maybe he would call his sister and see how she was doing, or his mom.

“No, it’s okay. We can watch the movie tomorrow. You look tired. Was just stopping by to see Gale.” He informs the older boy, rising from the chair and smiling a little at them both. Before he’s going to step out, pausing next to John and gently tapping his shoulder. Gale’s jaw dropping slightly as he watches, before Brady is heading from the room. Bucky looks up at his boyfriend, chuckling softly at his expression.

“He just, he touched you! I have gotten exactly one hug from him, and it was one of the most awkward hugs I’ve ever gotten. And he just willingly touched you. He’s doing so good.” The blond says, eyes watering for a moment as he thinks of how far the younger boy has come. John smiling a bit before he’s wheeling himself over towards his bed, letting out a long breath. Parking the chair next to the bed and reaching for the remote to slowly start lowering it.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Gale asks as he looks at his boyfriend, chewing on his lower lip as he examines the older’s face. Seeing the pinched skin between his eyebrows, his plush lower lip between his teeth, muscles looking a little tight. John locking the wheels of his chair and moving so he can transfer himself. Gale shifting his body over, ready to get up and help if John’s arms fail at all. Bucky slowly gets himself into the bed, pulling his legs up, while huffing softly from the exertion.

The both of them get under John’s comforter, Gale leaning over to tuck a wedge pillow behind John’s back. Tucking him onto his side gently, while John feels the tears welling. Quickly blinking them back as he lays there, looking up the slightly tanned line of Gale’s neck. Before the blond is laying next to him on his own side, bringing a hand up to gently touch John’s hip in a soothing manner.

“He cried…Curt cried in front of me. I’ve seen him break his ankle, fall out of a tree, flip his dirt bike, have his heart broken. I’ve never seen him cry Gale, he blames himself. He fucking blames himself for what happened…it wasn’t his fault.” John says, the ending coming out in a whisper before tears are finally breaking free. Gale scooting closer to wrap him in a hug, letting John tuck his face into his throat. Little shakes racking up the black haired boy’s shoulders, arms curled and tucked into his sides. The blond letting him cry, gently petting and caressing his hair. Running his fingers through the messy curls, chin pressed against John’s head.

“Are you two going to see each other more? Maybe start talking again?” Gale asks softly once John has calmed down some, said boy’s face tacky with dry salty tears. His forehead pressed into the side of Gale’s throat, breathing having evened out. No longer shuddery when he exhales, his arm curled around the blond’s waist. Needing that skin to skin contact, craving it, it being one of the only things that keeps him calm.

“Yea…said he’s gonna come back next week for another visit. He’s starting a new job though, so he won’t be able to come until dinner time. But thought it would be nice to have dinner with him again, I’ve missed him.” John admits as he breathes deeply, Gale nodding in understanding. Kissing the top of John’s curls, breathing in the faint smell of his shampoo. It always made Gale smile whenever he smelt it, coconutty and absolutely not what he expected. John took good care of his curls, had told him once his older sister Janie would kill him if he didn’t. John may look like a 3 in 1 guy, but he definitely had more shower products than even Gale did.

“I’m glad you guys talked today, I’m glad you’re going to start seeing him more too. I think it’ll be good for you.” Bucky nods his head in agreement, tired from everything that’s happened. PT was physically exhausting, but seeing Curt again and watching the older boy lose it, was a kind of mental exhaustion he didn’t know he could feel. Gale keeps rubbing his back as they lay together, fingers tracing the scars without realizing it. Lulling John into a quiet sleep, nose tucked close to Gale’s pulse point. Long arm curled up under the back of Gale’s sweater, just holding him close.

————————

From: Buck 😍

To: John 😊

‘Are you awake still?’

From: John 😊

To: Buck 😍

‘Yea, was finishing an episode of ‘British Bake Off’, fucking Patricia burnt her caramel.’

From: Buck 😍

To: John 😊

‘Six attachments’

“Jesus fuck.” John gasps out, looking up at the closed door of his room out of habit. Laying tucked on his side, wedge pillows stuffed next to his spine and butt. His eyes wide as he clicks on the pictures, jaw dropping as he sees the images of Gale’s cock. Flushed pink, tip looking wet and ruddy, Gale’s hand wrapped around himself. John feels arousal pooling low in his stomach, flicking through the different pictures.

From: John 😊

To: Buck 😍

‘Did you text me for a booty call? Because last I checked…you don’t have a car and I can’t drive…’

From: John 😊

To: Buck 😍

‘Your cock is still the prettiest I’ve ever seen…definitely would put you in my mouth if you were here.’

John’s phone buzzes with an impending FaceTime call, swiping to answer it. He’s met with Gale’s bunny face, pink cheeked, a little sweaty, strands of his hair falling on his forehead. Bucky’s eyes go wide, taking in the way the blond is trying to focus on the screen. John is thankful that he has his headphone in his ear, able to hear the way Gale is whimpering quietly.

“Baby…are you touching yourself right now?” John murmurs, his heart speeding up in his chest, shifting just slightly in his bed. Watching the way Gale rapidly nods his head, jaw dropping down on a moan. Slightly high pitched and needy, John groaning softly in response. His eyes watching with rapt attention, the other boy’s phone shaking just slightly. Another whine coming from Gale’s mouth, eyes squeezing shut.

“Wanna, I wanna see your cock. Wanna see you touch yourself…please John?” Gale whimpers out, shifting just slightly on the bed, trying to get a better angle. Opening his eyes to look at John, seeing the way he’s staring at him. Glasses reflecting the light just slightly, his jaw dropped open. His own cheeks tinged a pink color as he lays there, infatuated with the other boy.

“Baby…why don’t I just talk you through it? Are you…fuck are you fingering yourself?” John gets out, watching the little shudder course through Gale’s body. The blond bobbing his head in acknowledgement, moaning as he presses down on his prostate. Desperately wishing he had thought to grab the vibrator, it curved just right inside of him. A frown forming on his face as he lays there, opening his eyes to stare back at his boyfriend.

“Wanna see you cum…please, wanna know you feel good too. Don’t wanna use you.”

“Fuck baby you can use me anytime. God I wish I was there, have your pretty cock in my mouth and put my fingers inside of you. You make the prettiest sounds.” Gale whines softly at the image John is painting behind his eyelids. His fingers pressing into himself a little quicker now, dropping his phone down to flick on the light. Blinding himself momentarily, before he’s trying to set his phone on the nightstand. John groaning when he gets a decent view of Gale, naked on his bed.

“You have such a pretty cock baby…I say it all the time but it’s true. I want you to choke me with it, will you do that next time? Hold my hair and make me take your cock? Oh fuck Gale, how many fingers do you have in yourself?” The black haired boy asks, his stomach tightening slightly as he watches. Gale shifting himself around so he can splay his legs open for John to watch. Stuffing a pillow under his butt to angle himself up enough, knowing he’s been successful when he hears the moan let loose from the older boy.

“Fuck you look so good…want you to ride my face. Just want to get my mouth on you, I should have licked my fingers clean the last time. Put a third finger in baby…mine are bigger than yours…it’ll be a stretch. Oh fuck look at you.” John almost whimpers the end as he watches Gale stuff three of his fingers into himself. His other hand moving as he strokes himself, thighs splayed wide for John to see everything. The boy unable to take his eyes off of the way Gale is touching himself. Listening to the bitten off whimpers from the blond, almost able to hear the wet squelch of lube.

“J John…I’m gonna cum.” Gale gasps out as his thighs tense, pressing against his prostate with every in stroke. His other thumb rubbing quick circles over his tip, a little puddle of precum on the skin below his belly button. Making the hair there sticky, the little mole on his skin shiny. His fingers pushing into himself quicker now, chasing his orgasm. Whines starting up as he works himself towards the edge, listening to John.

“Cum for me doll…cover yourself in it. That’s it, keep going. Fuck I want to watch you lick it off your fingers afterwards…and you’re gonna look at me while you do it. Fuck baby, yes fuck that’s it. You’re a good boy for me, fucking yourself so nicely when I’m not there.” Gale sobs out as he starts to orgasm, strips landing on his stomach and chest. Shivers rolling up his spine as he squeezes around himself tighter, fingers pushed against his sweet spot. Working himself through the aftershocks, able to hear John praising him on the other end of the phone. Glad he popped an ear bud in, not wanting Marge to hear the debauched way John is talking.

He slips his fingers from himself, whining softly at the loss, before he’s going to move so he’s facing John better. Blown pupils meeting the older boy’s, seeing how spit slick his lips are. No doubt from the boy biting down into them, his cheeks a pink color. Gale looks at him, bringing his fingers up to lick them clean. Bucky letting out a little whimper, his jaw dropping open. The blond making a bit of a show of it, sucking his cum off of his fingers.

“Jesus fucking Christ doll…I’m definitely getting you in my mouth next time.” John states once he’s caught his breath, Gale smiling and chuckling a bit. Laying in his bed, blissed out, a little tingly, and now getting sleepy. Turning his head to look back at his boyfriend, he sees him shifting in the bed. Wincing at the pull in his back as he tries to adjust the pillow behind his butt.

“Next time…I’m getting you in my mouth John. You’re lucky I had already started…as much as I enjoyed you talking me through it. I don’t like feeling like I’ve used you…” Gale tells the older boy, shifting to grab his phone, rising from his bed. Snagging his briefs and sneaking out of the bedroom to clean himself in the bathroom quickly.

Putting his finger to his mouth, even though Marge wouldn’t be able to hear John’s voice at all. Wiping himself up and using the restroom before he slides his deep blue briefs back up. Going back to his room and grabbing his pajama pants, pulling those on before he gets into bed. Rubbing his eye and flipping off the lamp, surrounded in darkness again aside from his phone screen.

“Go ahead…I can see it, you’re bursting at the seams.”

“You didn’t use me, I haven’t tried touching myself since the accident. The last time we did anything, it’s the first time someone has touched me since then. I feel awkward playing with my soft dick, don’t know how to do it, not used to not getting hard anymore. I definitely enjoyed watching you touch yourself, it might have single handedly been the hottest thing I’ve ever witnessed.” John states as he looks at his boyfriend, reaching for the remote to lower the upper portion of his bed. Trying to take some pressure off of his back, Gale watching him. Waiting for the boy to get more comfortable, tugging up his blanket to cover his shoulders. The deep green comforter brought from home by his little sister, a little weighted and keeping John pleasantly warm.

“I respect what you’re saying…I want you to know though. It still turns me on to see your dick, even if it is soft. I still enjoy making you cum, watching your facial expressions. Listening to your sounds, it’s still hot to me. You don’t ever have to touch yourself, but never be embarrassed about it. Because, I enjoy your cock, and I think if we work together we can make it good for you.” John feels his face get hot, the tips of his ears burning a little bit. Burying his face in the blanket for a minute as he contemplates what he wants to say. His glasses fogging up just a little bit as he lays there with a little smile on his face. Gale smiling victoriously, he rarely ever got John to go quiet.

“Waxing poetic on me here Buck. Really know how to make a guy feel special.”

“Nah…I just know how to make you feel special.” The blond responds while smiling a little to himself, eyes closing as he listens to the soft chuckle flow through the speakers. Sleepiness invading his senses, body feeling heavy and relaxed from his orgasm. Listening as John says something about talking more tomorrow, already too far gone in sleep to respond.

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“Buck what are you doing? I need to shower, I smell.” John says as he gets wheeled into his room, the door clicking closed behind them both. Gale humming softly as he rolls the older boy over to his bed, grabbing the remote to lower it down.

“You are getting a massage today, and I’m going to suck your cock.” Gale states with a little shrug like it’s not a big deal, John choking on his Gatorade as he looks up at his boyfriend. Eyes widening as he sees that he is completely serious, the blond getting the bed down. Turning back to look at John with a little smirk on his lips.

“So do you want your massage first or your cock sucked? Because I’m down for either right now.”

“Jesus Christ Gale…what if someone walks in?” John gets out, clutching the bottle in his hand tightly. Feeling arousal pooling in his lower stomach, his eyes wide. Gale sits on the side of the bed, pulling John over towards himself. His large hands sliding up the older boy’s thighs, squeezing gently before he’s leaning in to press a kiss to John’s cheek. Kissing in a slow move over to the other boy’s lips, pushing his mouth against his. Sucking and nipping at his lower lip, dragging a hand up to grab at John’s chest, pinching at his nipple over his shirt.

“If someone knocks at the door, you’re going to tell them you’re laying down for a nap…do you want me to suck your cock John?” Gale murmurs as he drags his nose across the older boy’s jaw, moving over to nip at his ear. Goosebumps forming on John’s skin, his eyes fluttering closed. Whimpering when Gale slides his hand into his shirt to pinch and tug at his nipple. His other hand rubbing down onto John’s length through his shorts, squeezing slightly. The black haired boy whining at the dual sensations, hands gripping the arm rests of his chair.

“Fuck…of course I want you to suck my cock doll…oh fuck.” He gasps out when Gale pushes his hand into his shorts and briefs, gliding across the hair on John’s pelvic bone. Scratching through it gently, before he curls his hand around John’s soft cock. Squeezing gently, letting go and continuing on to cup the older boy’s balls. Rubbing his thumb over the globes, massaging them in his palm. Listening to the hiccuping breaths coming from John, bringing his face back so he can watch the other’s expressions.

“Does it feel good John?” The black haired boy nods, eyes fluttering closed as he moans softly. His stomach sucking in when Gale grips him a little tighter, tugging softly before letting go. Pulling John’s shorts down enough for his length to spill out, both of them looking down. John opening his mouth, before making a sound as two of Gale’s fingers are shoving past his lips.

“Don’t…I can see you getting ready to apologize, I’ll stop if you do. Let me play with you, let me make you feel good, yea?” The blond asks as he looks at the other boy, seeing him bob his head, a smile forming on his face. Slipping his fingers from John’s mouth as he slides down onto the floor. Situating John’s foot pedals so he can scoot closer, pulling his hair into a low bun. Securing it with a hair tie off of his wrist, his hands skimming across the other’s thighs. Humming softly as he does, smiling at the black haired boy.

“You always say my cock is pretty…have you seen yours? It’s so thick John, I’d feel you for days.” Gale states as he wraps his hand around his length, squeezing softly and tilting him up. Leaning down to lick across his tip, hearing the little whimper fall from Bucky’s mouth. His eyes flicking up while he smiles, before he’s flattening his tongue. Licking down the underside, going down to his balls and sucking one into his mouth. Laving his tongue around, humming softly and shifting to the other one. Making a popping sound when he pulls off, dragging his tongue back up John’s cock.

“Oh fuck Gale…keep going…please.” John murmurs as his lower stomach spasms, his eyes flicking to the door. Before he’s groaning at the feel of Gale wrapping his lips around his tip, sucking and flicking his tongue. Dipping it into the little slit, while his long fingers squeeze and move in little increments. Bucky’s eyes dropping back down to watch, one of his hands coming down to clutch at Gale’s bicep where it’s resting on his thigh. Whining when he feels the blond suck at him a little harder, dipping his head in an even motion now.

“You look so pretty…your lips are so pretty. Fuck Gale, oh fucking shit.” The black haired boy pants out as his nose scrunches up, his hand desperately gripping at Gale’s bicep. Gale moaning as he gets a little salty taste suddenly, flicking his tongue back up to John’s tip. Looking up to watch as John’s head falls back, the pale expanse of his neck exposed. Gale sliding his hand down to squeeze and massage his balls, tugging at them slightly. John’s free hand slapping up to cover his mouth as he moans, blunt nails digging into Gale’s inner arm. The blond presses all of the way down, nose touching the hair at John’s base. Swallowing around him, his tip touching the back of his throat and lodging there perfectly.

“I’m, fuck, Gale, I’m gonna cum. P pull up, fuck pull up.” John gasps out, shuddering at the growl released from Gale’s chest. Eyes flicking down to meet the little glare on the blond boy’s face. Feeling as Gale rubs his balls again, squeezing and massaging. Looking right up at John and watching as the tears well in the black haired boy’s eyes. His chin tipping to his chest as he starts to orgasm, jaw dropping open with stuttered out whimpers. Gale’s eyes fluttering a little as he tastes the dribbles spilling from John, salty and a little bitter. Pulling back slowly, licking at him the entire time as he goes. Before he’s popping off, panting quietly as he kneels between John’s legs on the floor.

“Did so well John, tastes so good.” Gale murmurs, voice a little hoarse as he carefully helps tuck the older’s cock away. Leaning up to press a kiss to the corner of John’s lips, smiling when he is being nose bumped. Their lips meeting in a kiss, both of them letting out soft sounds as they sit there. Before Gale is hoisting himself up onto the side of John’s bed, resting his forehead on the older’s. Jumping a bit when he feels John’s warm palm sliding up his thigh, squeezing softly.

“This was about you, I’m alright. Let’s get you into the shower and then I’m rubbing you down with this oil that Marge swears by.” The blond says smiling softly as he looks at his boyfriend, John taking a deep breath. Looking up at Gale with slightly sleepy eyes, the workout from PT combined with the blowjob making him tired. His large hand going around to hold the back of Gale’s neck and head. Pulling him close for a kiss, sucking gently at the blond’s lower lip. Both of them melting into the touch, just enjoying the push and pull of their mouths.

“You’re going to tell me if I hurt you at all right?” Gale asks as he kneels over the backs of John’s calves, the boy stripped down to his basket ball shorts. Fresh from the shower, skin still a little damp, curls wet and floppy. His head pillowed by his forearms, bed completely flat giving them plenty of room. The bottle of oil that Marge insisted he get for this warming between Gale’s hands.

“I’ll let you know Buck, can’t hurt worse than it always does anyways.” Bucky responds with a little shrug, resting his heavy head on the back of his hands. Gale frowning at that comment, before he’s uncapping the bottle and squeezing some into his palm. Dropping the bottle onto the bed, rubbing his hands together, and gently setting them to one of John’s thighs. Feeling the coarse, curly hair there digging his thumbs in gently. Working the tense muscles with a careful touch, covering John’s entire thighs and going down to his calves.

“You’re in pain because your muscles are like locked in an iron grip. God damn John.” Gale mumbles as he rubs and digs his thumbs in, listening to the even breathing that John is doing. The boy not responding to most of the touches, even if his skin goosebumps up. The sensation is dull, tingling going up his legs, before Gale is moving up his thighs again. Smirking as he massages the tense muscles under John’s butt, squeezing gently.

“Trying to get fresh with me Buck?” Gale snorts softly as he shakes his head a bit, smiling as he continues on his journey. Feeling John stiffen a bit when he gets to his hips, tugging the waist band of his shorts down slightly. Looking at the scars sitting there, before he’s leaning down and pressing his lips to the line. The scar tissue thick, raised up off of John’s skin, and a dark reddish pink color. Still in the process of fully healing, a little shudder going up the older boy’s back. More goosebumps rising as he lays there, able to fully feel Gale’s hands on him now.

“I already got fresh with you John…I’m trying to get you to relax for me.” The blond answers as he drips more oil into his hands and warms it. Before he’s massaging the pale expanse of the other boy’s back, rubbing his thumbs in soothing swipes. Feeling the tension slowly leaking out of John’s body, his eyes fluttering closed.

Letting a soft sigh spill from his lips, feeling the way Gale rests on his thighs. Being mindful of how hard he presses on certain areas, admiring the imperfections in John’s skin. Freckles, moles, stretch marks along his hips and under his arm pits. A few faint scars from bad acne breakouts, followed by the surgical scars lining his spine.

“That feels good…thank you.” John hums softly, muscles feeling like goo as he lays there. Eyes closed, cheek squished against the back of his hand, body completely lax. Gale smiles a bit as he continues, finishing up by John’s neck and shoulders. Pressing his forehead against the back of John’s barely damp curls. Breathing deeply, getting hit with the coconut scent of his shampoo and conditioner.

“You don’t have to thank me…but you’re welcome.” Gale murmurs as he turns John’s head with a bump of his nose to his ear. Smiling as he places a kiss to John’s cheek, nuzzling close for a minute. Feeling the way John’s cheek crinkles up with a smile, both of them breathing quietly for a few moments.

“I love you.” Gale whispers after a few minutes, his heart freezing in his chest. Not at all having expected that to spill out from his mouth, pulling away from John’s face. Seeing the way John has turned his head more to try and look at Gale. His own eyes wide, making Gale want to shrink away worried that he’s just ruined all of this.

“I love you too Gale.” John responds in a soft voice, trying to shift so he can look at the blond boy. Gale moving off of his body, sitting next to him with slick hands. Staring at his palms, heart still racing, stomach in knots. Before he feels John’s big fingers gently touching his cheek, getting him to meet his gaze.

“I mean it Gale…I really do love you. I think I have for a while now.”

“I love you too John…which terrifies me…” John nods his head in understanding, rubbing his thumb across Gale’s high cheek bone. Before he’s bringing the blond’s forehead against his own, their noses bumping. Both of them breathing quietly, John not wanting to overwhelm Gale at all. His fingers rubbing and massaging the nape of his neck, gently playing with the longer strands.

“What scares you about it?” The black haired man asks softly as he rubs his thumb under Gale’s ear gently. Reaching for the little towel he keeps by his bedside, offering it to Gale to wipe his hands off. Watching as the blond meticulously wipes the oil off of his hands, making sure it’s not stuck between his fingers at all.

“I’ve never had someone love me for just being me. Except for Marge…and Marge has seen me through some awful stuff. I’ve never had someone love me just because they want to, it usually comes with stipulations. My dad used me when he could and he beat me because he could. My mom had her own issues, she was a bipolar depressive woman who had a kid she didn’t want. This is all new for me…and new scares me. I’m scared you’re going to look at me one day and decide you don’t want me anymore. I’m terrified that I’m going to hurt you like my dad and mom hurt me. I don’t want that to happen, I don’t want us to turn into them.” Gale explains as he stares at his hands, John laying on his side staring at his boyfriend. Before he’s gently turning the blond’s face to look at him, eyes soft and tender. Brushing his long strands of hair back, trying to get the other boy to look at him. Taking a deep breath in and choosing his words wisely.

“My love isn’t conditional…my love doesn’t demand you be anything but yourself. I love this Gale that’s sitting in front of me, this one sitting here is holding my heart in his hands. I didn’t know your parents, but if they were like mine. I’m aiming to be nothing like my dad, he was a mean piece of work when he wanted to be. And my ma didn’t deserve that, I have no idea why she’s still with him. I’m not saying this to compare trauma either Gale. But if we don’t want to turn into them…then we’ve actively got to work to not be them.” John explains as he looks at the blond, finally getting his cornflower blue eyes to come up. A shiny glassy sheen over them, before he’s nodding his head in agreement. Letting John pull him into a hug, his chin resting on the other’s shoulder. His thinner arm curling around John’s waist, both of them just resting together.

“Just so you know…I’m absolutely going to randomly tell you I love you now. So good luck with that.” John murmurs a little while later, Gale smiling and letting a little chuckle slip from his mouth. Pressing a kiss to John’s cheek and snuggling close, enjoying how warm the older boy’s body is compared to his own.

“I won’t ever say no to you telling me you love me.” Gale murmurs as he kisses John’s cheek again, smiling when the older boy brings him over for a proper kiss. Gale making a mental note to get chapstick for John, but still enjoying the feel of his lips against his own.

————————

“Hi Gale, he’s back in his room. I know he’s had a headache, so he might be napping.” Nurse Hadley says smiling when she sees the blond making his way through the corridor. Having come from the floor above, therapy having been good that day. He had worked through a lot of emotions with Maureen pertaining to applying to school, and how that will change his life.

“Thank you Nurse Hadley.” He replies before heading down the hallway for Bucky’s room, a little pep in his step. He felt good today, not in a manic way where everything felt good with no consequences. But in a, life is getting a little better kind of way, a way he doesn’t feel like he’s treading water. Rather he’s floating in it, he’s able to relax just a smidge and breathe for the first time in forever.

Stepping into John’s room makes him smile, the sketches from Janelle are hanging on the wall, his giant calendar decorated for the month. There’s a few photos on his dresser now, the one of him and Curt placed delicately. The plastic covering it is still broken, but John won’t replace it. The smell in the room is completely John, his cologne mixed with his body wash.

Something woodsy, it reminds Gale of hiking in the summertime with Marge when they were younger. He looks up to see John sleeping in bed, laying on his left side with his pillows tucked all around him. His glasses are crooked on his face, like he fell asleep waiting, his phone face down on the bed. No doubt he was watching more ‘Great British Bake Off’, the obsession he had with that show Gale would never understand.

He quietly sets his satchel bag down on the chair, before he’s stepping over and gently taking off John’s glasses. Setting them on the tray table near by, picking up his phone to plug it in. Bucky was notorious for it just dying, he never seemed to realize it was dwindling down quickly. He goes to pull back John’s comforter, humming softly as he feels how soft it is between his fingers. Before he’s resting his hand on the bed to slide in, furrowing his brows at the wetness that meets his fingertips. Pulling his hand up and lifting the blankets a little more, his face is falling when realization takes over.

“John…honey, you’ve gotta get up. John.” Gale says quietly as he gently touches John’s shoulder with his dry hand. Trying not to startle the older boy, he runs his fingers through his curls softly. Before he gently shakes John, the older making a quiet sound as his face scrunches up. Squeezing his eyes shut before he’s opening them, smiling when his blurry eyes see Gale.

“Mm hi baby, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to fall asleep. Come cuddle me.” John murmurs as he rubs his eye sleepily, briefly reminding Gale of a giant toddler. Lifting his head slightly, curls in a complete disarray before he’s able to see Gale’s expression. Shifting an arm down, his expression drops when he feels the wetness under him. Looking down quickly and almost making himself dizzy from the head tilt he sees the wet spot under him. Gale watching as a flurry of emotion filters across Bucky’s face, horror, shock, embarrassment, and then anger finally settling.

“John, it’s okay, let me call Rebecca or I think Sam is here today. It’s okay honey.” John doesn’t bring his eyes up to Gale, pushing the blankets down and glaring at his lap. His big hand is trying to blindly reach for his chair next to the bed. Groping around the air for it, before he’s suddenly almost tipping off the bed. The blond letting out a squawk and lunging for him, grabbing him by his shirt and kneeling in the wet spot with one knee. Keeping John stationed on the bed, their foreheads almost colliding.

“John stop, you’re going to hurt yourself. Let me call Sam in and he can help you. If you won’t let me, let him. I don’t want you to brain yourself on the floor. It was an accident, they happen, you couldn’t control that.” Gale is saying even as Bucky is shaking his head a bit. Hot tears forming in his eyes as he sits there, mortification sitting heavily in his stomach. A little whimper coming up his throat as he sits there, looking down at the bed again. Another sound slipping from his mouth when he sees that Gale is kneeling in his urine.

“I’m not a toddler…toddlers have accidents. I fucking pissed myself like a toddler. And now you’re fucking kneeling in it, you put your hand in it. All because I couldn’t fucking remember to go pee before I got into bed.” John gets out, trying desperately to not break down and cry. He did not want to cry in front of Gale, it would solidify his toddler stand point.

Refusing to meet the blond’s eyes as they both stay in the bed, before he’s catching the movement of Gale’s hand going to hit the call light. A defeated puff of air leaving his throat, a few hot tears of shame leaking down his cheeks. Before he’s quickly scrubbing his hands across his face when the knock on the door sounds. Nurse Hadley smiling as she steps in, before she’s seeing Gale holding both of John’s forearms.

“How can I help?” She’s asking as she closes the door 3/4 of the way, pumping hand sanitizer into her palm and stepping over. Eyes assessing everything she can see, landing on the wet spot on the bed, before she gets eyes on John again. Gale takes a deep breath as he looks at his boyfriend, waiting for him to talk. Not knowing how John wants to word this, not wanting to upset him any further.

“I need to take a shower…had an…I had an accident.” John mumbles the ending, Hadley nodding her head and going towards the connected bathroom. Turning on the shower head before stepping back out, lowering the bed a bit and pulling John’s chair over. Gale meets the nurse’s eyes for a second, before he’s watching her grab one of the towels off of John’s dresser and setting it on the seat.

“Okay, can you slide over? That’s it.” Hadley murmurs as she helps John into his chair, Gale letting go of his forearms. Kneeling there for a minute before John is slowly wheeling himself to the bathroom. Nurse Hadley is standing there for a minute, before she’s stepping over to the door frame. Letting John know she’ll bring him in some fresh towels, and to let her know when he’s ready to come out.

“I can change his sheets…I don’t think his comforter is dirty.“ Gale murmurs as he slowly gets off the bed, pushing said blanket down towards the foot of it. Wincing a little at the wetness coating the knees of his jeans, but knowing John probably has pants he can burrow. Hadley steps out into the hallway quietly, flagging down Rebecca to get towels, fresh sheets, and John’s pain medicine.

“John…can I come in? I need to wash my hands and change my pants.” Gale asks after he’s knocked on the door, hearing an affirming noise come from the older boy. He steps inside, being met by the steam from the shower, breathing deeply as he goes to wash his hands quietly. A pair of John’s joggers tucked under his arm, a drawstring on the waist so he can pull them snug on himself. He leans against the counter for a second, looking at the outline of John sitting under the water. His shower chair being pelted by the stream, while he sits there staring at the wall.

“I hope it’s okay that I’m burrowing your pants…I don’t have any here.” Gale says as he stands there, chewing on his lower lip. The water cutting off suddenly, John moving the curtain to the side to look at him. His eyes red rimmed, no doubt he had been crying in the shower. His curls are sopping wet on his forehead, almost reminding Gale of a long haired cat when they get wet. But his heart breaking at the expression on John’s face, his features trying to show no emotion. His eyes the only thing giving away how utterly devastated he’s feeling.

“I’m sorry…I’m sorry you got my piss on your pants. I’m sorry my useless body can’t fucking work right. I’m sorry my dick doesn’t do what it’s supposed to. I’m sorry Gale.” John almost whimpers the end, the blond dropping the jogger pants onto the counter behind himself. Pressing his front to the other boy’s wet chest, not giving a damn if his sweater and shirt get soaked. His arms curling around the back of John’s neck to keep his face pressed against Gale’s chest. While John sits in the shower chair, crying quietly into the blond’s shirt.

“Your body isn’t useless John, you have no idea how strong you are. You’ve been through so much, you didn’t do anything wrong. Nobody is mad at you, except for you, you’re being your own worst enemy right now. You’re punishing yourself for something out of your control sweetheart.” Gale tells him softly, holding him close and rubbing his nose across his wet hair, squeezing him just a little tighter. Feeling as the shaking subsides in John’s shoulders, little wet sniffles coming from the older boy. Gale can feel shivers starting up John’s body, looking up just as Nurse Hadley is stepping in with towels.

Smiling softly at them, both Gale and Hadley wrapping John in two towels. One just wasn’t enough to cover his broad body, before she’s helping John transfer into his chair. Something he usually has no issues with but his entire body was drained. Arms shaking slightly, brain feeling exhausted and gooey, before he’s letting Hadley wheel him out. Gale changing his pants quickly before stepping out, watching as John gets dressed slowly. The older boy silently offering the blond a shirt, knowing he soaked his through.

“John, I’ve got your pain medicine here.” Nurse Hadley says softly as she comes over with the little medicine cup, John situated in his bed now. Pillows tucked around him to keep him comfortable, heating pad pressed into his middle spine. Gale tucking the comforter around his body, before he’s grabbing his water bottle. The thing covered in stickers courtesy of Janelle, John’s younger sister collecting them just to come and slap them on the metal bottle. Bucky accepts the medicine cup, tipping his head back and taking his water to wash them down.

“Gale…can you just, hold me for a little while tonight?” John murmurs once the blond has gotten into the bed again, blankets tucked around them both. Gale smiling a little and nodding his head, helping John shift around. Until Bucky is tucked into his side, his arm curled over Gale’s torso, head nestled into the crook of Gale’s neck and shoulder. While the blond gently rubs his back, fingers soft and sweet.

“I love you John.”

“I love you too Gale.”

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“Hi Brady…can I sit?” Benny asks smiling as he looks at the brunet boy, sitting on a bench in the court yard. The soft mid summer breeze blowing through his hair, the sun shining down and making him almost look angelic. Brady looks up and squints softly, seeing Benny standing there before he’s nodding his agreement. The tanned boy smiling as he sits down, keeping enough distance between them.

“No Meatball today?” Brady asks, voice soft with unsureness, trying not to fidget where he’s sitting. Benny is smiling softly when he sees that Brady’s rosary is laying across his thigh, not clasped in his hands today. He could pass for almost calm, if it wasn’t for his fingers tapping a rhythm against his thigh.

“Nah, it’s a little too hot out for him today. But I still wanted to come by…and see you.” Brady is silent for a few minutes, mulling words over in his head. His stomach feeling like it’s wrapped itself around a telephone pole, his palms breaking out in a sweat. The boy wanting to scrub his hands clean, he hated being sweaty. He hated the feel of it on his skin, he hated the feeling of it drying, he hated it all together.

“Benny…I, I really like you. I’ve liked you for a long time now, and I’ve never done anything like this before. I’ve never wanted to hold someone’s hand the way I want to hold yours. I’ve never wanted to see someone smile the way I want to see you smile. I’m, I’m scared Benny. But I don’t want to be scared anymore.” Brady blurts out suddenly, his eyes squeezing shut as he sits there. His heart in his throat, stomach dropping before he’s frantically grabbing for his beads. Fiddling with them as he tries to calm himself down, Benny giving him a minute. Trying to formulate his own words, a pleasant bubble of happiness blooming in his chest. A little grin tugging at the edges of his lips, before he sees the drop of Brady’s shoulders.

“I like you too Brady…I don’t want you to be scared either. We can take this at your pace, there’s no rush. I’d be happy to just sit next to you every day, but I’d be absolutely okay with holding your hand. What if we start out small? Maybe just locking pinkies for now?” Benny offers as he holds up his hand, flicking out his pinky as if he’s getting ready to make promises. Brady looks at him, the breath leaving his lungs in a slow puff. Before he’s nodding a little and raising his hand up, linking their pinkies together shyly. Eyes closing at the skin to skin contact, something he hasn’t allowed willingly for a very long time. Not seeing the smile that graces Benny’s features as he sees the way Brady’s shoulders slump into a calm posture.

————————

“Curt this is Buck, Buck this is Curt.” John introduces as all three of them sit in the rec area. Curt snorts softly as he looks at his best friend before he’s looking at Gale. The blond’s eyebrows scrunching together, wondering if Curt is judging him. Before the black haired boy is leaning over and shoving Bucky’s shoulder slightly.

“You named him Buck? Jesus Christ Bucky, you shoulda just tattooed your name on him if you were gonna mark your claim.” Curt says before he’s laughing and shaking his head slightly, smiling at the younger boy. Gale looking at his boyfriend just to see him smiling a little bit at his fingers. Curt wiping the tears off of his cheeks, hearty laughs finally subsiding. Before he’s looking at Gale again and grinning cheekily, shoving his hand out for a handshake.

“My name is actually Gale, but he wouldn’t accept that as an answer when we first met.” The youngest says as he shakes Curt’s hand, feeling the callouses on his fingers. Similar to the way John’s palms were bumped over from wheeling himself in his chair. Curt shoots him a smile before he’s looking at Bucky again, causing Gale to look over. Slightly shocked to see the heated flushed covering John’s cheeks up to the tips of his ears.

“Why am I not surprised? This bastard is territorial if you haven’t noticed by now. But it’s nice to meet you Gale, he hasn’t shut up about you whenever I come by. ‘Buck this’ and ‘Buck that’, it’s good to put a face to a name. Not that he hasn’t shown me pictures.” Curt goads while smirking at his best friend, John groaning quietly at the ribbing he’s receiving. Gale smiling a little as he looks at the older boy, watching the blush get darker on his skin. John bringing his palms up to rub across his face, a bashful expression on his features.

“Alright, alright stop it now. You’ve made a fool of me enough today. I’m going to regret introducing you both.” John groans loudly as he shakes his head, reaching for Gale’s hand to hold it in his own. John was tactile, he liked to be touched and to touch. Buck rubs his thumb across the older’s knuckles in a gentle swipe. Feeling the little squeeze he gets in return, smiling softly as he does.

“Yea…he is a bastard isn’t he?” Curt cracks up again, laughing loudly as he sits there. Shaking his head with a giant smile lighting up his entire face, eyes crinkling. Making Gale chuckle softly while John tips his head back, just glad that two of the most important people in his life are getting along.

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“Careful of the lip, Janelle make sure the chair doesn’t hit the door.” Janie says as she pushes John’s chair through the threshold of his and Curt’s new apartment. Both boys renting out a handicap accessible place, John unable to live by himself quite yet. Gale and him had briefly talked about moving in together, but had decided against it. Gale was still new in his own recovery, and taking care of John would be too much. Curt had happily offered to move in with John, it got him out of his Nan’s house, and he missed seeing John every day.

“If the wall gets scuffed it isn’t a problem, don’t worry about it girls.” Curt says from where he’s setting John’s bags down on the couch, smiling at his friend. Seeing the smile that John flashes back, the car ride over had been eventful. John hadn’t ridden in a car since he was transferred from the hospital to the rehab center. He was white knuckling the door the entire time, Janie’s little car was hard for him to get into. It had pinched his back a bit, making the muscles tense and strain. Janelle had been talking a mile a minute in the backseat, while Curt and Gale had followed in his car with John’s stuff.

“This place is so cute! Aww John your room has a really good view of the pond back here! I bet there will be ducks and swans too!” Janelle squeals happily, having stepped off to explore once they got John inside all of the way. Gale searching in the bags for John’s medicine, knowing without a doubt his boyfriend is in pain. Janie fussing over John’s curls, brushing them off his forehead. While Curt is bringing John’s stuff to his room, his special bed already having been delivered. Any speciality pillows he needed sitting on the king sized mattress.

“I’m so sorry we didn’t meet before Gale, our schedules just never seemed to align. But I’ve heard a lot about you, you’ve got my brother smitten.” The older girl says, smiling as she looks up from her brother. Her smile exactly like John’s making her pretty blue eyes crinkle up, her own curly hair pulled up into a claw clip. John makes a soft sound, scrunching his nose, while Gale smiles a little bit. Stepping over with John’s metal water bottle, and a pain pill in his palm.

“I’ve been told that a few times now…it’s really nice to meet you too Janie. John has told me a lot about you and Janelle. Here John…it’s one of the lower dose pills.” He murmurs as he holds out the white tablet, before he’s offering the bottle next. John accepting both, wincing as he shifts in his chair again. Janie frowning when she sees how much pain her brother is in, brushing his hair back again softly. Gale smiling a little when he sees how much John’s sister loves him, and how much he loves her in return. Already opening his mouth to insist that he’s fine, just stiff from PT, even though he hadn’t had PT that day.

“Speaking of PT, when do you go back? How many days a week?” Curt asks as he steps back into the room, looking at the other three. Janelle already in John’s room, unpacking his bags for him. Janie out at her car, getting her scissors and hair cutting tools, commenting that John’s hair was too long. It needed to be trimmed up, his face needing a good shave too and she was determined to do it for him.

“I go back on Monday, it’ll be three days a week. Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.” John murmurs as he sits in his chair, slightly overwhelmed from everything that has happened in just the last few hours. Gale brushes his fingers over John’s neck, rubbing in a gentle motion. Smiling softly before he’s leaning in to press a kiss to John’s lips, bumping their noses together softly. John reaching for him to tug him close, Gale slipping into his lap, his arm curling around the older’s neck.

“Ugh stop it you two…you’re gonna make me hurl.” Curt groans as he comes to the living room carrying a drink for himself, Janelle giggling as she comes down the hallway. While Janie steps back into the apartment, carrying her hair cutting tools and a box. Smiling when she sees John and Gale sitting together, a blush rising on the blond’s cheeks before he’s shyly trying to get off of John’s lap. John letting out a little sound, lips pushing out in a pout at the loss of his boyfriend in his lap.

“C’mon…your sister wants to cut your unruly mop.” Gale murmurs as he kisses John’s forehead, before he’s wheeling him into the bathroom. Janie smiling as she follows behind, watching as John gently wraps his hand around Gale’s wrist. Bringing the blond boy’s hand up to press a kiss to his knuckles, breathing deeply as they stay together for a moment.

“I’m going to make sure Curt doesn’t order the entire menu at the pizza place. I’ll be just a call away though if you want me back in here.” Gale says after a quiet minute, kissing John’s forehead shyly. Slipping out around Janie, before she’s stepping in and smiling a little. Janelle sneaking into the room to sit on the closed toilet lid, bringing her knee up to rest her chin on. Staring at her brother’s profile, smiling when she wants him breathing evenly.

“When are you two getting married?” The youngest Egan asks with a smile on her lips, John makes a sound at that. Shaking his head a bit before Janie is keeping his head still, combing out his curls. Being mindful of any tangles or snarls he might have, smiling when she sees how relaxed he becomes. He always reminded her of a dog when he was little, a few scratches to his head and he was putty. Rolling over and showing his belly to whoever gave him the attention.

“We’ve only been together for a few months Janelle…I don’t think either of us are thinking of marriage yet.” John says as he feels Janie beginning to cut his hair. Hearing the little scoff his baby sister lets out, the flick placed to his arm making him huff. Janie making a sound to tell him to keep still, concentrating on just trimming. She wasn’t cutting his curls off, they had spent too much time getting them to look good. She had taught him too much to just lob them all off, and he had spent too much money on curl care products.

“The way you two look at each other is true love. And you can’t tell me I’m wrong, I just won’t listen to it.” Both of the older Egans chuckle at that, smiling a bit at their sister’s antics. Janie brushing the stray hairs away from his collar, tilting his head to work on the sides. Her eyes meeting John’s in the mirror, smiling at him softly. Leaning down to kiss the top of his head, going back to trimming the sides of his hair.

“I do love him, but I don’t think we’re ready for marriage quite yet Jelly Bean.” She huffs and waves her hand at him, making Janie chuckle quietly. Running her fingers through the younger boy’s hair, shaking the curls out. Gauging how much more she’s going to trim off, humming softly as she goes. Something both her and John do, hum to themselves whenever they’re trying to concentrate. It didn’t matter the tune, didn’t matter the song, it was just a constant stream of noise coming from them.

“What do you think of him Janie?” John murmurs once Janelle has wandered off to see what’s been ordered for dinner. The older girl shifts him around to get to the front of his head, trimming up the pieces that cover his forehead. Getting them all to fall into their rightful places, pushing them back and smiling at her brother.

“I think he’s incredibly sweet Johnny, I can see how much you both care for one another. I’m glad he’s been there for you when we couldn’t be. Has ma met him yet?” John lets out a soft breath, shaking his head a bit. Watching as Janie nods softly in understanding, snipping a few more pieces of hair. Changing out her scissors for some texturizing ones, not that the boy needed the volume. She leans down and kisses his forehead, something she hasn’t had to do since he was 10 and she was 15. He had shot up and towered over her, the boy always the one to lean down to give her kisses and hugs.

“I get it, I know mama misses you, but she’s a grown adult, she’s known where you’re at. It’s on her if she hasn’t come to see you…I’m not going to preach about them. You’re home, you’re safe, and I love you.” The black haired girl states as she looks down at him, seeing the little quirk of his lips. She smiles at him, before she’s tilting his head up to look at him better. Hugging around his neck, kissing his forehead and breathing deeply. John’s arms wrapping around her waist, both of them just enjoying this moment. Janie not taking for granted the feel of her little brother in her arms again.

She had been terrified when she got the call from their mom, had rushed down in the middle of the night. She had been one of the first in the room to see him, one of the first to touch him when he was in the coma. She had made the phone calls to people, she was the strong one. She was always the strong one when it came to her younger siblings, she was nick named Mother Hen for a reason. She took care of her babies, whether they were actually her’s or not.

“I love you too Janie.” John murmurs into her shirt, squeezing her tight to himself. Breathing in her soft familiar lotion, the feel of her hands on him comforting. More comforting than even their mother’s hands, she was always there for him. If he ever had an issue he knew he could go to Janie. She never pushed him away, she never judged him, she raised him more than his mother did. And he loved his mom, but nobody would ever take the place of Janie.

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John has been home for exactly a week when he has his first nightmare, he had worked hard that day. PT was grueling, a migraine had taken place behind his eye, and his spine felt brittle. Resigning himself to bed early had been a no brainer for him, texting Gale to let him know. He was passed out before he even got a chance to see if Gale had responded.

John is back in the jeep with Ham behind the wheel, loud music is blasting from the speakers. Curt is in the backseat singing the music loudly, all three of them are laughing. All three of them had partaken in drinking at the frat party they had gone to. John is looking over and suddenly he’s seeing the curve coming into view, and he’s reaching for the wheel. Everything is in slow motion, it’s all happening and there’s no way for him to stop it. Glass is shattering, cutting his cheeks, the sound of it ear piercing. The sound being his own screams, mixed with Curt’s before he’s being propelled from the seat. Belt failing and snapping, going through the windshield and slamming into the ground. White hot burning pain taking over, agony ripping down his body.

John is bolting up, screams flowing from his mouth, his blankets tangling him up. Suffocating him, trapping him in place, and he’s shoving everything away. Trying to get out of bed, trying to get away from the things pinning him down. Knocking into his night stand, before he’s tumbling out of bed, the lamp on his table following him in his descent to the floor. The glass bulb shattering and spewing everywhere, a few pieces knicking his cheek. All while he’s fighting the sheets and still screaming at the top of his lungs.

“Ham! Stop the car! Stop! Please stop!” He’s shrieking, trying to kick his legs but unable to, stuck laying in a sprawl on the wood floor of his bedroom. Upper body on the ground while his lower half is caught in the sheets, causing him to almost dangle. Hot tears are rolling thickly down his cheeks, he doesn’t hear the door opening. Or Curt’s voice trying to soothe him, but he does feel hands touching him. Making him wail louder, pushing and fighting against it, not wanting it to drag him under. Under to the dark place that almost took him all those months ago.

“Bucky! Bucky it’s me! It’s Curt, I’m here. You’re alright, John it’s a nightmare!” Curt is trying to say, receiving a few hits to his chest and arms. Trying hard to not restrain his best friend, but not wanting him to roll right into the broken glass. He isn’t even blinking before he’s grabbing John’s phone, typing in the passcode and hitting the familiar contact. Trying desperately to get John to stop howling, his voice having gone hoarse from the sound. Curt’s trying to get his lower half untangled from the sheets and blankets. Terrified John is going to hurt himself, the twisting and thrashing he’s doing making it worse.

“Hi honey, I thought you were…John?! What’s happening?!” Gale’s sleep filled voice is entering Curt’s ear, his own voice coated with tears. Throat feeling tight as he sits there, he knew exactly what John was feeling. He had nightmares like his for weeks after the accident, screaming himself awake. His Nan had almost had a heart attack the first time, and that was why he had moved himself into her basement.

“Gale, I can’t, John’s having a nightmare. I can’t get him to wake up. I don’t know what to do, please…I’m so sorry.” Curt can hear Gale moving on the other side, getting himself dressed and calling for Marge. Promising he’ll be there soon, the sound of John’s warbles heart breaking in the background. While Curt kneels there as if he’s going to pray, tears beginning to drip down his own face. Trying to make sure John doesn’t roll into the broken glass, trying to talk to him.

“We’re here, let us in. I’m here.” Gale pants almost 15 minutes later, John’s cries having quieted down to high pitched whimpers. Face smooshed into the cold wood of his bedroom floor, shakes racking up his body. Curt not daring to touch him, scared to leave him alone. But getting up and running for the front door, unlocking it and stepping off to the side. Gale and Marge both standing there, in their pajamas, hair sleep mussed. Mirrored worried expressions on their faces before Gale is rushing forward for his boyfriend. Marge takes one look at Curt, stepping inside and closing the door before she’s wrapping him into a hug.

“John…sweetheart, you’re home. It’s me, it’s Gale. I need you to wake up.” The blond says in his calmest voice, stepping in and seeing the mess next to the bed. Treading carefully before he’s kneeling by the bigger boy, brushing his hand over his head. Getting a broken, hoarse sob to come from John’s mouth.

Tears from his eyes having mixed with the blood from the few knicks in his cheeks. Gale’s heart breaking slightly as he looks down at him, hearing footsteps stop outside of the room. John openly bawling into the wooden floor boards, his arms curled under his body as if he’s protecting himself. If he could curl into a ball he would, Curt having finally gotten his legs untangled from the sheets.

“Can you get a broom and dustpan? I’m going to need help getting him up into the bed, I just want him to come back a little more.” The blond says, turning his head to see Marge and Curt standing side by side. Curt’s face dry now, a hug having been had between the pair of them.

Marge nodding softly and going to find the broom, while Curt goes to grab the first aid kit they have. Along with some of John’s meds, knowing he is no doubt going to be hurting. Gale continues murmuring to John, keeping his touch light. Before Curt and Gale are lifting him, Curt’s arms hooking under his armpits, while Gale gets him under the legs. Marge standing by worriedly, ready to help if they need it, pulling and adjusting the blankets and sheets.

“Hi sweetheart.” Gale murmurs when he sees John’s eyes opening slowly, brushing his hair back off of his forehead gently. The broken bulb having been swept away, a new one popped into the lamp. Gale gently cleaning the few cuts on John’s cheeks, the tv in the room playing soft music on YouTube. John blinks a few times, trying to clear his vision to look at his boyfriend better. A soft whimper escaping his mouth; before he’s closing his eyes at the onslaught of tears.

“I know; you’re safe, nothing can happen here. I’ve got you.” The blond promises as he kisses John’s forehead softly, continuing to gently clean the spots. Swiping neosporin across them, before he’s grabbing John’s water and medicine cup. Curt peeking into the room, the blond nodding softly at him. John swallowing his medicine down before he’s opening his eyes up to see Curt.

“Is it alright if I lay in here tonight?” Curt whispers, watching as John nods his head. The three of them laying in the large bed together, Marge having gone home once she knew John was in bed. Gale apologizing but thanking her once again, while she made him promise to text her in the morning. Curt’s body curls around John’s slightly, tucking close just to feel his best friend breathing. Gale laying in a way that John can press against his side, the three of them quiet. John already half asleep, exhausted from everything. While Curt lays there wide eyed, staring straight ahead at the wall.

“He’ll be okay…it just takes time. But he’ll be okay.” Curt says quietly almost like he’s talking to himself, the lights now out, the screen from John’s tv illuminating the space. A nature scene with calming piano music playing, something that always helped Gale calm down. He didn’t think John would want to wake up to a silent room, he never did when he had nightmares.

“Yea, he’ll be okay. He’s got a good support system. I mean, he’s got us.” Gale responds softly, looking at Curt to see him nodding in agreement. His nose tucked into the nape of John’s curls, arm around the taller boy’s waist to keep him close. Gale realizing this is just as much for Curt as it is for John right now. Curt needing to know his best friend is breathing and still alive. Gale lays there with them, quiet as he watches them both sleep now. Letting himself relax with a hand on the back of Curt’s head, all three of them falling asleep piled in John’s bed.

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“You’re comfortable?” Gale asks as he looks at John, both of them in John’s large bed. The mattress holding just enough squish for the taller boy’s broken body to not be as sore. His multitude of pillows stacked on the ground, one of his soft wedge pillows next to him. The red cover on it velvety feeling, he had ordered it on Amazon. Specifically labeled as an ‘assistive device for sexual intercourse’. Smiling a little as he looks at the blond, seeing the way he’s staring back at him. Cornflower blue eyes intense, but tinged with need, both of them were needy.

They had the apartment to themselves, Curt was gone at Ken’s for the entire weekend. They had been talking about this for awhile now, but between John’s schedule and Gale’s, they couldn’t nail down a time. Not for something like this, not for Gale to actually be inside of John. The blond wanted to take his time, wanted John to feel good the entire time. It was going to take maneuvering, pillows, patience, and time.

“I’m comfortable Gale…will you let me suck your cock now? Been thinking about it for ages, you have such a pretty cock. It’s truly a shame it’s not in my mouth every single day.” Bucky states making the younger boy let out a squawk at that, shaking his head a bit and laughing softly. One of his large hands coming up to rest on John’s chest, before he’s looking back down at the other boy. Seeing the dopey little smile forming on his face, before Gale is nodding a bit.

“How far are we going tonight? I’d really like to make you feel good too…maybe get my fingers in you? I’ve been doing some researching and stuff.” Buck trails off slightly as he feels John’s giant hand coming down to squeeze his bare thigh. Both of them were stripped down to their boxers, and Gale could feel how hard he was. Tip leaking against his skin where it was trapped against his hip, no doubt soaking through his underwear. Feeling John’s large thumb brushing across his inner thigh has him shivering, goosebumps forming.

“I’ve never, I’ve never bottomed before. But I want to try with you, just don’t know how much I’ll be able to move for you. Or we could get out the vibrator again, that was fun last time.” Bucky says as he lays there, he wasn’t usually nervous or awkward when it came to sex. He never had to be, he was always confident in what he wanted. He was confident in how to make someone else feel good, but this was different. Him and Gale had done quite a few things, the most memorable being watching Gale ride a dildo.

That one still got him hot under the collar, holding the toy for his boyfriend to ride while also being sucked off. Watching the blond move his hips was tantalizing, hypnotizing almost. The moans that he was letting out around John’s cock were enough to convince the older that bottoming was worth it. The entire experience was definitely in his top five sexual experiences ever to date.

“Was reading that prostate stimulation can help with erectile dysfunction, since it wasn’t your prostate that was affected or injured. Might help you get hard, and if it doesn’t…then you can just enjoy the sensation. But if you don’t feel comfortable with that then we don’t have to do that.” The black haired boy looks up at his boyfriend, John smiling lopsidedly at him before he’s tugging him down for a kiss. He can taste the mint chapstick that Gale uses, pressing his tongue into the other’s mouth briefly. Squeezing at the blond’s thigh again, feeling the wiry hair resting there. Hearing the moan that comes up from Buck’s throat, his hand slowly moves over to cup the other boy through his briefs.

“I still want your cock in my mouth, so if we can make that work then I’m down for anything.” Bucky states once their mouths have separated, Gale letting out a soft breathless laugh. Shaking his head just a little before he’s shifting off of the bed to go to his overnight bag. His cheeks blushing a crimson color as he goes to the bottom of it, pulling out his small travel bag. John’s eyes tracking his movements, shifting in the bed just slightly. Using his arms to slide himself to the middle of the bed better, watching as Gale turns back around.

“Traveling with sex toys now baby?” Bucky taunts watching as Gale’s cheeks burn a deeper shade of red. The blond climbing up onto the bed and crawling his way over, briefs almost tenting from how hard he is. While he climbs over John’s thighs and situates himself down comfortably. Holding up his hands to show off his treasures, the older boy looking down. A bottle of lube, a silicone sleeve, and a small wand vibrator all sitting there.

“What’s the uh, what’s the sleeve for?” He asks nodding at it, feeling his insides curling with a mixture of arousal and nervousness. Gale had more experience with toys than he did, the blond seeming to have a toy for just about anything they could think of. John had dabbled with vibrators before, but mainly on female partners. He hadn’t really used one on himself until he had gotten into bed with Gale that is.

“This, goes in this, and then slides up and sits around you. Figured it might feel nice, I know I like it when I’m bottoming sometimes. I also…wanted to get a mirror so you could watch. That one over there…thought we could pull it over.” John’s eyes trail over to the full length mirror resting against his closet door. Jaw dropping a bit to bring his pupils back over to Gale, seeing the flush on his cheeks. The aroused excitement unable to be contained in his blown eyes, his cock aching in his briefs. John’s large hands coming up to squeeze Gale’s hips, thumbs digging into his hipbones slightly.

“Do you think about it a lot? Fucking me?” John questions, feeling the full body shiver course up Gale’s spine. His head tipping back, showing off the long line of his throat. Hips rocking forward like he can’t help it, pushing himself against John’s lower chest slightly. Bucky can feel himself twitch just a little in his briefs, his hand coming down to grip around Gale’s cock through his underwear.

“You have no idea how many times I’ve thought about it. I love watching your face when you cum…fuck John. I love making you feel good, want you to see how fucking good you look too. Wanna watch your face when I’m inside of you.” The blond rambles as he grinds against John’s palm, moaning as the older rubs his tip through the fabric. Bucky letting out a low groan as he looks up at the blond boy, arousal pooling lowly in his pelvis. Before he’s pushing Gale’s briefs down, tucking them under his pretty pink balls. Giving them a little squeeze, looking down to watch the way precum beads at the blond’s tip.

“Do you wanna fuck my face first? Take the edge off? Look like you’re gonna blow everywhere baby.” John says in a little breathless tease, moving his fist on the younger boy. Squeezing when he gets to the tip, Gale moaning lowly at the offer. Hips chasing the feel of Bucky’s closed fist, hands gripping John’s freckled shoulders tightly. Toys completely forgotten next to them, John groaning softly as he watches the younger boy.

“Take what you need baby…that’s it, fuck look at you. You’re desperate for it aren’t you? Love watching you make a mess of yourself…love tasting you.” John rambles as he squeezes around Gale tighter, bringing his other hand down to grope and tug at Gale’s balls. The blond sobbing quietly at the sensations, hips pushing quicker now. Precum dripping down from him onto John’s briefs, his hips stuttering slightly in their rocks. Blunt nails digging into Bucky’s bare shoulder, before he’s tensing and beginning to spurt across John’s stomach.

“Oh fuck, fuck John, oh god.” He whimpers out, toes curling behind himself so hard he almost pulls a muscle. Shuddering through his release, knocking the bigger man back into the pillows. Just to press close and kiss him, panting still but needing to feel the other’s mouth against his own. Gale pulling away after a minute, resting his sweaty forehead on John’s. Breathing deeply and looking down at him with a sheepish smile on his face.

“So…fucking me really gets you going yea?”

John asks with a little smile, looking up at the blond, seeing the way he blushes a deeper shade of red. His body shifting a bit so he can shove his face into John’s throat. Stomachs and pelvises pressing together, smearing Gale’s cum across both of their skin. The dark smattering of hair under Bucky’s belly button becoming sticky with it.

“Is now a bad time for me to tell you that I’ve never topped anyone before? It’s not gonna ruin the mood is it?” Gale asks once he’s pulled away from John’s collar bone, a dark hickey sitting there now. The older boy gently tilts Gale’s face up, before he’s leaning in and kissing him. Large palm cupping his cheek, brushing his thumb across the constellation of freckles the boy has under his eye.

“No, it doesn’t ruin the mood, it takes some pressure off honestly. We get to share a first together…and that’s, it’s kinda special yea?” John murmurs almost shyly as he looks at his boyfriend, smiling a bit as he sees Gale smiling. The blond feeling fondness welling in his chest at the absolute hopeless romantic his boy is. Both of them leaning in for another kiss, slower this time, with deeper meaning. Before Gale is pulling away, grabbing the wedge pillow and holding it up.

“Can I lay on my stomach? Or will that make it harder for you?” John asks as he looks at the younger boy, lifting his upper body up, watching as the blond holds the wedge pillow. The blond boy gets off of the bed for a second, pulling the mirror over so that they can both turn their heads to look. Stepping back over when he’s pleased with where it’s sitting, picking up the red pillow again.

“I don’t think it’ll make it harder, might make it easier actually. But is it going to hurt you? Wanna try it and make sure it won’t put pressure on your back?” Bucky nods his head, before he’s shifting around, Gale holding the pillow so it sits at John’s lower stomach. The taller shimmying his body, with the blond helping adjust his legs comfortably. The velvet on the pillow rubbing below John’s belly button, his butt and hips propped up. He adjusts his upper body slightly with his arms, while Gale tries not to hover.

“Can you…can you help me move my legs how you need them?” John questions, chewing on his lower lip, suddenly worried he looks absolutely ridiculous. Flicking his eyes back when he doesn’t get a response from his boyfriend, seeing the way Gale’s eyes are sweeping over his body. His cock already half hard again against his hip, before he’s snapping out of his revere.

“I’m gonna touch you now, let me know if it’s uncomfortable.” The blond says before he’s helping move the older’s legs, getting them into a sort of frog position. Reaching up to carefully adjust John’s length, not wanting it to get squished between the cushion and his body weight. Gale leans down and kisses the small of Bucky’s back, hands rubbing and squeezing up his thick thighs. Feeling the curly hair sitting there, dragging his thumbs over muscle and skin. Goosebumps rising on John’s skin, a shiver going up his spine, while he feels his arousal reignite. Resting his upper body on one of his personal pillows, taking the pressure off of his thoracic spine.

“You look so pretty spread out like this for me…so fucking pretty John.” Gale murmurs as he nips at his butt, before he’s sitting up on his knees between John’s legs. His eyes dragging over his back, following the lines of his surgical scars. Pressed into the trench of his spine, freckles, a few moles, and stretch marks covering his skin as well. The blond’s nimble fingers dragging up his sides, squeezing softly when he meets the bottom of his ribcage.

“Fuck baby…feels good.” John sighs as he shifts into the touch, eyes closed as he relaxes even more. Becoming a puddle on the bed, feeling his cock give a little twitch, he liked when Gale gave him massages. The blond always knew where to touch, how hard to push down, he seemed to know John’s body better than he knew it himself. His eyes open when he feels Gale’s lips moving down his spine again, his hands sliding down to grip John’s butt cheeks. Squeezing gently and rubbing his thumbs in, spreading him softly as the blond keeps moving down.

“Jesus Christ.” John whispers as he feels Gale lick across his hole, the muscle fluttering slightly. Turning his head a bit to look at Gale’s body as much as he can in this position. Before he’s turning his head the other way, watching the mirror. Eyes trained on the curve of Gale’s body, his hands keeping John’s cheeks separated. Large hands wrapped around his skin, before Gale is lifting his head up. Humming softly against John’s cheek, nipping at it and turning his head.

He watches as Gale looks up his back before he flattens his tongue, swiping it across his hole again. Before the blond is pressing closer to push his tongue inside of John, the little gasp coming from the older making him smile. Humming against John again as he pushes his tongue in an even motion, letting some spit slip down. Dripping in an even line to Bucky’s balls, one of Gale’s thumbs coming to rub it in. Dragging the spit back up and sliding the pad of his thumb across the older’s entrance again, watching it clench.

“Talk to me?” Gale murmurs as he reaches for the lube, pulling the bottle down while he sits up on his knees. Looking at John again in the mirror, meeting his gaze and smiling a little bit. The older’s cheeks are a dark pink color, eyes wide with a mixture of arousal and shock. Jaw dropped open, with his plush bottom lip spit slick. He watches as John blinks slightly, focusing his eyes to meet Gale’s gaze, breathing deeply before letting loose a whimper.

“Didn’t think I’d like something like that…but fuck it felt good. You always say it does feel good, but I thought you were just bullshitting me, trying to make me feel good. Jesus Gale.” John breathes out the ending as he feels one of Gale’s nimble lube slick fingers circling his hole. Watching the motion in the mirror as much as he can, the blond smiling a bit. The younger leans down and presses a kiss to John’s freckled shoulders. Pressing his middle finger forward, both of them groaning as he sinks inside of the older boy. John’s half hard cock giving a twitch against the pillow, a lazy bead of precum oozing at the tip.

“You’re so tight sweetheart…gonna feel so good wrapped around me.” Gale states before he’s leaning up to kiss the other boy, sucking at his lower lip and moving his finger in an even motion. John’s walls squeezing and tensing every now and then, trying to get used to the sensation. He wasn’t sure what it was supposed to feel like, he didn’t have anything to compare it to from before the accident. A gasp getting lodged in his throat when the tip of Gale’s finger drags across a sensitive bulge on the inside.

“Found it.” The blond murmurs from where he’s been pressing kisses into John’s shoulders, his cock rubbing against the other’s butt cheek in even little pulses. Precum smearing across John’s pale skin, leaving sticky streaks in its wake. John moans again when he feels the touch to his prostate, a protesting sound coming out of his mouth when he feels Gale pull his finger free. Before there’s two pressing into him, the pressure from the stretch making his nose scrunch. A whining noise leaving him when Gale rubs over his sweet spot again, eyes squeezed shut at the sensation.

“Oh fuck Gale…fuck that feels so good. Don’t stop, please please for the love of Christ don’t stop.” John whimpers as the ball in his pelvis gets tighter, his fingers gripping the pillow under his upper body harder. Muscles bunching together slightly, moaning again as Gale drives his fingers in. The blond smiling softly as he keeps going, even as his cock leaks in steady drips. The sounds John is making has his head spinning, knowing he’s making his boy feel good. It’s a head rush that he wasn’t expecting, feeling the way John’s walls are squeezing tighter.

“I’m, Gale, I’m gonna…oh fuck, fuck, fuck.” John squeaks out suddenly, Gale sitting up slightly to watch. The older’s hole clamping down around his fingers, his cock giving a twitch before he’s dribbling cum down the pillow. A sobbing sound coming from John’s throat, tears welling in his eyes as he lays there. Gale’s fingers stilling inside of him, pulsing gently against his prostate. Dragging out the older’s orgasm for him, before he’s easing off and slipping his fingers out.

“Fuck John…that was, holy fuck.” Gale groans as he wraps a hand around himself, squeezing at the base tightly. Looking up to meet John’s half lidded gaze, a few tears having tracked down his cheeks. John was a crier when he orgasmed, Gale had figured that out quickly, the pleasure was so intense for him that he cried. And as much as Gale wanted to hate it, it definitely made something in his blood sing. John reaches back with a lead heavy arm, trying to grab onto Gale’s hand.

“C’mon…want you inside of me. Please, can see you’re hurting.” Gale leans up slightly to look down at him better, letting out a grunt when John gets his hand wrapped around his cock. Hips jerking forward on instinct with the pleasure, eyes squeezing shut to collect his bearings.

“I don’t want it to be too much for you, you just came. I can use my hand or.”

“Gale Winston…get your cock inside of me. I want you to use that wand thing, I want it all.” John interrupts as he tries to look back at the younger boy, finally getting Gale’s cock slotted between his cheeks. The blond’s hips moving just a little, holding himself up with a hand digging into the pillow John’s upper body is laying on. His knees tucked close to the wedge pillow as he moans lowly, his other hand going down to grab at John’s hip.

“Yea…yea honey, I’ll give you anything you want.” Gale mutters out nodding quickly, having to shift and pull away from him. Cock aching between his legs, dribbling another string of precum. Connecting the tip of his cock to John’s ass for a minute before it breaks. Reaching for the lube again and the vibrating wand, the cock sleeve attached to it already. Squeezing just a bit on his fingers he wraps his hand around John’s soft cock, listening to him hiss softly. Flicking his eyes up to look at him, he sees that John is looking back at the mirror.

“Wish I could see it better…but this is still good. I get to see you.” John murmurs, eyes trained on the way Gale’s body is moving. Pupils tracing over the lines and curves, drawn in on Gale’s butt and thighs. Before he’s moaning at the feeling of the sleeve sliding into place, the blond making sure it’s sitting properly. He meets John’s eyes in the mirror, flicking the little dial on the toy and listening to the moan he lets out. Gale tucks the wand’s handle under John’s thigh, making sure it won’t move at all. While John’s fingers are gripping the pillow tighter under his head as he feels the vibrations into his balls, eyes fluttering shut.

“Do you want me to use a condom? I brought some, just in case.” Gale offers as he sits up on his knees more, squeezing around himself again and moaning lowly. Watching the way John’s eyes flutter open to stare at Gale through the mirror. Shaking his head a bit at the question, swallowing thickly while he lays there. Moaning lowly at the sensation curling up his stomach from the vibrator.

“No, I want to feel you…if you’re alright with that.” Gale leans up to plant a kiss to his cheek, reaching for the lube to coat himself with it. Before he’s shifting his hips enough to lodge his tip against John’s hole, both of them holding their breaths. Gale’s hips push forward slowly, sinking into John in a paced glide. His jaw dropping open at the tight, hot squeeze, while John watches his expression. The pressure making his heart stutter, but Gale’s facial expressions causing pleasure to zing down his pelvis.

“Oh fuck John, you’re so tight.” Gale whimpers out once he’s halfway, worried momentarily that he’s going to blow. Letting out a little wounded sound as John clenches on him involuntarily, his hand going to grip the older’s hip. Balancing himself to look down and watch, thumbing around where John is spread around him. The black haired boy moaning quietly as he watches the muscles flex in the side view of Gale’s body. His glutes shifting, thigh muscle bunching, bicep bulging out a little.

“You look so good Gale…Jesus Christ.” John murmurs, watching the way Gale’s head tips back once he’s bottomed out. One hand desperately grasping at John’s ass cheek, the other gripping the edge of the wedge pillow. His eyes following the movement as Gale moves inside of him, feeling the drag. The vibrations around his cock causing pleasure to roll over his system, a slow rise. Before his upper body is almost shooting off the bed when Gale nails his prostate head on.

“Oh fucking Christ Gale! Jesus fuck!” John sobs out at the intense pleasure zinging through him, Gale huffing a soft breathless laugh. Angling his hips properly now to slam into it, holding on by a thread. Blunt nails digging into John’s waist, groaning long in his throat at the tight heat. Turning his head to meet John’s gaze in the mirror, watching as his eyes flutter for a minute. His jaw dropped down, little puddle of drool slipping from his mouth onto the pillow under his head. White knuckling the fabric as he lets out consistent grunts with each press to his sweet spot.

“I’m gonna cum sweetheart…oh fuck, it feels so good. Are you gonna cum with me?” Gale pants out as he snaps his hips quicker, chasing the pleasure coiling around his groin. The sound of his pelvic bone smacking into John’s ass loud between them both. The wet squelch of the lube making them both whine, one of Gale’s hands coming up to grab at John’s bicep. Finger tips digging in tightly, before he’s slamming home again and reaching his orgasm. A high pitched whine leaving his throat, body shuddering through his high.

“Oh fuck…fuck Gale, it’s oh fuck.” John wheezes as the blond’s blunt tip snugs up against his prostate. The twitches from Gale’s cock pulsing against his insides, making him bury his face in the pillow. The pleasure red hot, almost too much before he’s cumming again. Dribbling down the pillow case under him, sobbing openly into the fabric under his face.

Tears rolling down his cheeks as he spasms under Gale’s body weight. The blond presses shaky kisses to John’s damp with sweat shoulders, both of them panting softly. Gale carefully pulls his hips back, reaching down to turn the wand off. Before he’s collapsing next to John, the boy turning his face to look at Gale again.

“Holy fucking shit Gale.” The younger laughs softly and looks at his boyfriend, admiring the pink flush to his cheeks. Making his freckles more prominent as he lays there, curls floppy on his forehead. Blinking his eyes few times, contacts that he was still getting used to having gone a little dry. Gale shifts his body over to press his mouth against Bucky’s, nuzzling close for a second. Before he’s dropping back onto the bed, needing just a minute before he cleans them both up.

“I love you.”

“I love you too Gale…you and your magic dick.” The blond snorts quietly, shaking his head while he lays there. The little post orgasmic quivers settling in his limp limbs. Breathing coming back down to a controlled level, his eyes watching John now. His chest rising and falling evenly, the little shakes that were racking his system slowing down. A dopey little smile forming on his plush lips, cracking his eyes open to look at Gale again. Their hands intertwining as they lay there, enjoying their little blissful moment together.

————————

“Pizza is here!” Curt calls as he and Ken come into the apartment, smiling when he hears John and Gale talking in the kitchen. They were all having a movie night together, the newest action movie having dropped. John had been begging to see it, but the thought of going to the theater was too much. So a pizza, movie, and soda night was to be had, in the safety of their own home.

“We’ve got the sodas!” John yells back, wheeling into the living room with two two-liters in his lap. Gale walking behind him with plates and cups, both of them dressed down. Curt eyeing them up, a smirk forming on his lips when he sees the hickey peeking out of Gale’s shirt collar. Their hair is mussed, and John’s cheeks are still tinted a light shade of pink.

“Ya fuckin dirty birds, did ya at least both cum?” Curt taunts making Gale squawk, Ken squeaking a bit at his boyfriend’s nonchalance. He never understood how easily Curt could just talk about sex, it was never taboo for him. John chokes on his spit, laughing softly and shaking his head. Pushing his glasses up his nose before he’s glaring playfully at his best friend.

“We did, on your bed, it was super comfortable.” Curt makes a loud sound before he’s going to pull John under his arm, rubbing his knuckles into the taller boy’s hair. Messing up his hair even more while John tries to push him away. Gale trying to remind them to not pull John from his chair while Ken just tries to stay out of the way. The curly headed blond boy turning his head at the knock to the apartment door.

“I’ll get it…ya goddamn hooligans.” He teases while smiling at the pair, stepping around the couch. Heading for the door, undoing the deadbolt, and turning the knob to pull it open. The smile slipping from his face when he sees an unknown man standing on the other side. Two large Manila envelopes in his hands, one labeled ‘Curtis Johnathan Biddick’ and the other ‘John Clarance Egan’.

“Are Curtis Biddick and John Egan here?” The man asks, getting said boy’s to turn their heads, smiles falling from their faces. Curt heading for the door to his boyfriend, while John watches them both. Gale stepping closer to rest his hand between John’s heaving shoulders. Curling his fingers into the older’s shirt, a knot forming in his lower stomach.

“Yea…that’s us. Who are you?”

“You’ve been served, thank you.” The man states handing over the envelopes, turning on his heel to head down the steps leading up to their apartment. Curt watching him go before he’s shutting the door and turning to face the others. All of them silent as they stare wide eyed at the envelopes in Curt’s hands.

[xxkendracaldwellxx]

"A hill?" Kendra repeated, exasperated. Of course there was going to be a hill she would need to conquer after their little run. Without even realizing it, she leaned on Tristan as they continued towards the castle, slowly regaining her composure and catching her breath. The thought of him sharing this adventure with his sister made Kendra smile softly as she thought of the young girl.

"No?" Kendra turned to him curiously when he mentioned her not being what he expected. "What did you think I would be? A prissy little princess?" There was a part of her that was afraid that was indeed the truth, that is how the court saw her. Wouldn't matter in a couple of days, this place would be behind her, though she now felt a pang of sadness. She was really starting to like Tristan and his sister.

"Deter me, no..." Kendra trailed off, thinking about it little longer. "Definitely will take my wardrobe in account for the next time." There was a light chuckle that followed as she silently cursed her corset. "I'm very determined to see more than just the boring castle grounds." She admitted.

It didn't take them long to make it to the alley that Tristan had mentioned; when Kendra slowed, he did as well but he kept close to her. Every couple of steps, he glanced over his shoulder but not once did the smile drop from his face. Talk about an adventure. "We might be good." He didn't want to lie to her and tell her that they were fully in the clear, not until he knew a hundred percent that they were.

With another glance behind them, he didn't notice anyone just yet but he wasn't quite ready to drop his guard. So instead, he shifted slightly so he could wrap an arm around Kendra's shoulders so he could start helping her a little bit with her walking. "Once we're in the castle, we're totally in the clear. It's going to be right up this little hill we're coming up to. Man, Thea is going to lose it when she hears about this." He laughed as he thought about how his sister would pout that she missed out on such an adventure.

"You did pretty well though, princess. I have to admit, you're not what I thought you'd be." Which was the case for himself too, he knew rumors could make or break someone as quickly as a candle could be blown out. "Hopefully this won't deter you from trying to visit the rest of the city though. There's still a ton of places that I'm sure you'd enjoy seeing."

[sir-avodoodles]

I think it’s been over a year since I started trying to learn extensive lore about LoZ, thus leading to the fact that this guy darn near single handedly ties the whole series together.

[sunnyxjarrus]

TW. Vent

(basically me talking about how my relationship with my sister is)

me and my sister have always had what I would consider a forced relationship but sometimes it actually works and flows on it’s own despite the fact that we have practically nothing in common and we are polar opposites and it’s really saddening to think about

anyway my sister and I actually texted back and forth today about snow bc our area got a few inches and she was asking about how bad things are at my moms because we live on a 13% incline on a backroad in a small town so I sent a couple of pictures told her about shoveling the driveway earlier and asked how things were at our dad’s house where she is staying for winter break until her second semester starts in a few weeks (she’s a freshman in college)

and it hit me how even if we have our moments where conversations are easy and we don’t really fight we still fall into the pattern of older mature perfect sister and problematic childish little sister who can’t seem to be able to even compare to her.

Still we mirror each other relentlessly if I do something wrong at my moms I’m ‘just like my sister’ if I dare defend her when they wrongfully comment about her calling her selfish or ignorant for not wanting to deal with them after they literally said the equivalent to hoping she was severely injured at the least ‘I am taking lessons from her’ or ‘being corrupted’ and it’s exhausting

@local-lover-boy

[themarysuep]

I agree. I think that to Carol, Kamala is just someone that took her mantle. It was inevitable that they'd clash the way they did in CWii. I believe that Carol simply also doesn't think about Kamala all that much. A good example would be when she invites her over to play poker, not realizing that it goes against her religious beliefs. Just like how she didn't realize she was manipulating a minor CWii. Medusa, on the other hand, taught Kamala the history of the inhumans, personally trained her, let Lockjaw live with her and she proved she cared for Kamala in the way she handled the mutant situation in MM. And yes, she respects her in Attilan Rising. I think 616!Medusa wishes that Kamala could come stay and work for her like in that reality. The mcu is definitely sweet and cozy, and Carol doesn't have many people in her life, so it's a whole different thing. Though what I like is that Kamala wasn't willing to blindly take Carol's orders in the mcu like she did in the comics. Carol also seemed to adapt to Kamala's life instead of the opposite way around, which helps the power dynamic.

I like Sophie and I think she just really wants to be a part of Kamala's life despite her shortcomings. I think my main issue with her is the way Kamala reacts to her. I love toxic relationships. Kamala's most popular romantic and platonic pairings that are talked about are the most boring mf'ers ever. I don't like Kamala being a bootlicker to white people though. You mention Daisy. I like their dynamic. Its like two sisters who live to frustrate each other. And Kamala sees Daisy as she sees the Champions, someone she can boss around (Daisy is usually around 19 in 616). So, not bad characterizations. But it's weird how Kamala holds her to way higher standards than she does other people. It comes across as, if she were blonde, would she still do that lol? It's the same with the way Josh (that racist incel who joined hydra she was in school with) and Kamran were handled. Kamala gave a whole speech about poor Josh, yet Kamran is irredeemable to this day? We can even mention Nakia seen as being not worthy of trust, yet Bruno (who did in fact act like a damn fool during cwii) is worthy of constantly being told the truth? Or even Sooraya?

So while I do get the "good is a thing you do" and the fact that we need a little toxic...I need it to come across as Kamala not being a bootlicker to certain people, I think. And I think the mcu gave me some high standards for Kamala now lol.

So, Medusa might be the best heroic mentor Kamala's had? Like, she's kinda the only one that didn't disappoint her or tried to force anything on her, or was too stubborn to listen to her. Medusa's entire approach to inhumans outside of their city is to treat them like her subjects but doesn't expect them to treat her like their queen.

She opens Attilan's borders, allowing non-inhumans to live and work there if they want. She offers Kamala assistance when she needs it but never tries to push her towards her "side", and if anything during IvX listens to her and her friends.

When her powers started to literally melt her body it wasn't the X-Men who showed up to help, (actually it was kind of their fault that it happened in the first place) it was Medusa. And even though the chances of saving her aren't certain, she has such faith in Kamala's strength that she doesn't doubt that she'll pull through.

And I don't know, that's just kind of neat?

[baura-bear]

i love autism because it means i get to email back and forth about wwii media with my grandpa and that i convinced my mom and her bf to watch masters of the air. (we're gonna watch bofb together over the holidays)

[foodlesoodlesdoodles]

Vampire Empire by Big Thief

[dazedspiralslut]

my brother's the one who originally got me into weed in the first place and hes YOUNGER THAN ME

i am truly one fucked up bastard lol

i love that fact sm

also my older sister who's not my oldest sister sent me a pic of her weed setup recently to like show iff cuz it's cool, and my horny brain is like "mmmmm hot"

[amiharana]

Ok here's my headcanon. I always thought Link's first love was archery, he seems to be a jack of all trades but I think the first weapon he picked up was a bow. I think (besides Nintendo giving botw so much emphasis on the bow) within Hyrule Kingdom Hateno has a strong archery culture with all the hunting and the horseback archery range. And Links early proficiency with a bow basically made a future in combat necessary for him so he practiced with a sword as well and learned spearmanship from Mipha (and he was remarkably quick to pick up on those) but after he pulled the Master Sword he spent most of his time with a sword..

But of course all the best archers in the world are in Rito village. And as a kid Link always wished to one day shoot with a Rito bow and he definitely knew all the names of the famous Rito archers and when news came of a young archer near his age that was quickly becoming one of the greatest of all time of course Link remembered that name too😌

Anyway it's funny to imagine if when Revali and Link first met Revali already held a grudge because of the sword while Link was completely starstruck, left speechless, didn't know whether to ask for an autograph.. well that was my headcanon. Can you revalink-ify it🙂

anon this ask is so cute thank you, i will revalinkify it to the best of my ability 🫡

i never actually thought about how much emphasis there is on bows in botw's hyrule and when you mentioned hateno having a strong archery culture, i was like What are you talking about... but then i remembered the abandoned equestrian course just in front of the village and ur so true about the horseback archery range. maybe link's mother was a horseback archer and ran the equestrian course back in the day, so link inherited that skill from her? thinking about teeny baby link feeding his mother's horse for the first time, the horse gently taking the apple from his hand, and link's eyes widening in awe at the tenderness of such a gentle beast. thinking about him riding a horse for the first time, learning to shoot with his mother and getting a bullseye on his first try. baby archer link 🥺

i can totally imagine link really wanting to go to rito village and live among the best archers of hyrule, knowing the names of all the legendary rito archers and begging his parents to take a trip there, or begging his father to work his magic as a knight of hyrule and somehow get him a swallow bow, or even a falcon bow!

a traveling merchant once came through hateno with a book on the history and legends of the rito, and link used his entire allowance to buy it... thinking about link memorizing every rito legend by heart, and infodumping to everyone he knows like his mom takes him and his sister to the market and the shopkeeper is like Hey link how are you doing? and link is just like Did you know the legendary Rito Warrior Dronoc, for which Dronoc's Pass is named after, was rumored to have the longest wingspan of any Rito who's ever lived? or going to school to cut off the teacher being like Actually Teacher, Kilsie of the Rito is regarded as one of the pioneers of the art of archery, and— 🤓 the teacher tells link to go sit outside, to which he just shrugs and takes his little book of rito legends with him to read for the rest of the class.

when link gets a hold of his first swallow bow, he cries. he almost refuses to shoot with it because it's so pretty and he doesn't want it to break. he eventually does use it, because his dad is like What was the point of me getting you a bow from literally across the country if you're not gonna use it. it's link's favorite bow and he maintains and polishes it very frequently, he's almost never seen without it.

just link being a little fanboy for rito legends 😭 i just know he was pissed as fuck when the master sword chose him and he had to use it all the time. the master sword comes out easy in his grip and while everyone else there is oohing and aahing and clapping, link is there like >:[ yelling ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!!!!! with it echoing in throughout the korok forest like yeah he's good at using literally any weapon, but bows really are his first love <3

now link being a fanboy for revali...... mmmm what a refreshing concept. it takes a whole different spin on the revali's flap memory

i think they would find out about each other around the same time, when they're both about 14-15. of course, revali would know about link, the person who pulled the legendary sword that seals the darkness at the tender age of 13, the person who's prophesied to save hyrule from the oncoming evil. revali scoffs and dismisses the news when it reaches rito village; he's a sword-wielder who probably knows nothing of archery and has no appreciation for it. and most importantly, he's one of those flightless, fleshy hylians. ugh. (spoiler alert revali, you fall in love with that flightless fleshy hylian) he goes back to his training and endless victories in archery competitions, and does his best to forget link even exists. he knows he can prove himself to be better than a stupid hylian prophecy.

meanwhile, link is now living in hyrule castle town with his father after he pulls the master sword and he's pretty miserable. he's far away from home with classist city kids in a strange place, and he misses the brisk air of his home, he misses his mother and sister and the horses and the archery range at home; he doesn't like it in castle town very much. at least there's an archery range here, both static and horseback, and he's brought his favorite swallow bow with him. it's actually easier to keep updated with news from rito village here though, since castle town is the center of the country and all news comes through here, especially when link hears about the seven-time winner of rito village's archery competitions, the rito child who's broken nearly all of the rito's legendary archery records.

link's interest is piqued and he grabs for every paper about it and talks to every journalist who's covered the story and every rito who visits the castle. alexa play OMG by new jeans because link just keeps on asking "who is he?" (he's the one that's living in your system, baby 😩🎶)

he finally finds out the name of this rito child prodigy after a week of endless searching and asking around. his name is revali, they tell him. he's just about your age. and link just stares with wide glimmering eyes. revali. it's a pretty cool name for a rising legend. he says it again, over and over to himself, liking the way forms in his mouth. (and if link blushes thinking about revali being the same age as him and wondering if the rito is as pretty as his name, he did not shut up aryll i didn't say that NO give me that article back)

some time passes. revali is now a 15-time winner of rito village's seasonal archery competitions and is now in the ranks of participating in the national competitions, where all races across hyrule can show off their skills and compete. it's the first time that link gets to see revali in action.

and whew, when link sees revali for the first time at the hyrule national archery competition, a sleek-feathered rito boy standing tall and proud, the sun reflecting off his gorgeous navy blue plumage, tossing his braids over his shoulder... he blushes so hard that aryll asks him if he's getting sunburned. "no!" link nearly yells, covering his face with his hands. his face really is burning, oh goddesses this is embarrassing.

aryll follows his line of sight then rolls her eyes. "of course it's the bird boy that's got you redder than batch of sunshrooms." link tells her to shut up, albeit still through his hands, and she rolls her eyes again and complies.

the competition starts with another division, but link can't bring himself to care, keeping his eyes only on revali, who's off to the side with the rest of the rito village team. he is as pretty as his name.

link is on the edge of his seat when it's revali's turn to shoot and he is not disappointed. revali hits over 30 bullseyes in the span of a few seconds, completely destroying the targets and even splintering through the arrows that had been previously shot, all without breaking a sweat. revali must have aimed an arrow of love at link through all of that somehow, because link is deeply, completely, absolutely in love in with the rito now ❤️ revali tosses his braids over his shoulders again to look up at the audience and link swears they made eye contact, his breath catching at the emeralds revali has for eyes glinting proudly in the sunlight.

at the end of the competition, link rushes down the stands, hoping for a chance to see the rito, get his autograph, talk to him even, but alas it's not meant to be. the rito gets swarmed by many others from the audience and the entire rito village team moves away from the field to retire to their rooms. it doesn't bring link's spirits down, though. he'll meet revali again, he knows it, he can feel it in his heart.

can you guess when the next they meet again is? :)

more time passes, and link is now a champion and zelda's personal knight and is going through his self-imposed silence era. his love for archery remains strong and alive, but he's forced to use the master sword more often these days and he hasn't had a chance to take his favorite swallow bow to the bower and have it maintained. he doesn't want to risk breaking it on the field, so he keeps it at home hung on the wall by his bed. he still thinks about revali, the rito boy who's completely captured his heart at every archery competition, with his dark glossy feathers and piercing green eyes. if link was like the other city girls, he'd be sighing and daydreaming about revali all day (he totally does and he gets whacked in the head during training for slacking off. aryll laughs her ass off at him for it). he wonders when they'll meet again, hopefully soon.

so when zelda mentions that they're going to rito village to check on the rito champion's progress with the divine beast and do diplomacy with the elder, link perks up. he still hasn't been able to visit the village he's desperately wanted to see as a child, the village where the legends of archery were born. maybe he can bring his swallow bow and have it fixed by a rito bower there! even though zelda fucking hates his guts, it can't bring his spirit down. link feels like a child again :) though, link wonders who the rito champion is. zelda didn't mention them by name, only by title, and they're the only champion link hasn't met yet. he wonders...

when they reach rito village, zelda sends him off so she can go talk with the elder and tells him that she doesn't need his protection because she'll be in the hands of the rito guards, so scram. he rolls his eyes when she turns away but does as she says and wanders. rito village is more beautiful than he imagined. the cold air and the breathtaking view of the hebra mountains in the background reminds him of home at hateno which was close to the ever-snowing mount lanayru. the rito people are kind and welcoming and greet him as champion, offering him all sorts of things. he denies, of course, because it's not necessary but indicates that he's very grateful for their hospitality. they smile and seem to have no problem with his silence. he likes it here a lot. he could see himself living here, after the calamity is defeated...

as he wanders, link ends up on a rather large platform with a rito insignia on it, but compared to the other symbols of the rito in the village, this one has wings on it. when he looks up to the sky, the grand divine beast vah medoh is soaring above him in all its ancient stone glory. of the divine beasts he's seen, link thinks this one is the most beautiful. maybe the insignia is representative of medoh?

but as he stands in the center of the platform, staring at the beast of sky, a strong gust of wind begins to swirl at his feet, stronger and stronger until a twister forms in front of him just off the lip of the platform where a dark blue figure shoots up and—

surprise! it's none other than his one and only years-long infatuation, the master archer revali of the rito. as revali lands on the railing of the platform, he crosses his arms and stares down at link with narrowed eyes. link thinks he's going to faint; the rito is so much more beautiful up close. he wills himself not to blush or pass out as revali begins to speak to him (oh god even his voice is nice—)

anyways revali goes through his whole spiel as he does in the revali's flap memory, and link just stares with wide eyes trying not to drool or blush or make a fool of himself because oh my god it's him it's revali he's the rito champion oh my god are we going to be working together ohhhh my god why didn't zelda tell me this i'm going to throw up (positive)

at some point in the memory, revali hops off the railing to circle link, goading him and basically being like I'm Better Than Just Being Your Sidekick Just Because You Have Some Special Little Sword and challenging link to settle the score or whatever, but here link is not paying attention to any of that and is just staring with stars in his eyes because revali is really close to him and he can see just how glossy and shiny revali's feathers are, he can count just how many of his cheek feathers are red—

"hey! are you even listening to a word i say?!" revali snaps and it breaks link's fanboyish haze. he stares at the rito who stands in front of him now, glaring at link with those piercing emerald eyes. he's so beautiful. "you're not even listening to me, are you? well, you—"

"can i get your autograph?" link blurts suddenly. oop. he was not supposed to break his silence. his face immediately flushes pink and his hands fly to cover his mouth, eyes wide.

revali blinks. "...what?" he says, caught off guard, his stance faltering.

"um. your autograph," link repeats, his voice considerably meeker. god this is so embarrassing he's embarrassing himself, revali probably thinks he's a freak. "um, uh i was... i've been a big fan. i watched you at your first hyrule national archery competition. you were amazing."

"you... you did?" revali says, still stunned. his eyes have widened, staring incredulously at link. "you thought i was...?"

"yeah," link whispers. he's practically hiding behind his hands now, feeling the hot flush of embarrassment through his skin. "yeah, of course you were! you completely destroyed the competition, you're basically a legend yourself! you hit more bullseyes in a few seconds then i've ever been able to do in few minutes..." link trails off, hands falling to his sides then hiding behind his back. he looks away shyly, still feeling the burn of embarrassment on his cheeks.

"i've always been more of a bow guy," link mumbles, "and read all about legendary rito archers as a kid. my dad even got me a swallow bow, um... being able to visit rito village was always something i wanted to do as a kid and after i saw you at the competition, i... um... well, i, err—"

"what about the sword?" revali interrupts. link looks up at him and revali's face has an imperceptible expression on it, one that link can't place. revali tilts his chin at the master sword on link's back. "i'd have thought you were more of a sword-wielder than an archer."

link looks away again and scratches the back of his head, sighing. "i mean, it's fine? i have some sort of prodigal skill with all kinds of weapons, and swords are probably one of my stronger suits. but i've loved archery since i was a kid, so..." link looks in a different direction; he can't bear to make eye contact with revali, he might melt. "i'm not gonna call myself a master of it in front of an actual master like yourself, but... i'm not too bad at it."

link kicks at the wooden floor of the landing. "this particular sword has too much responsibility weighing it down anyway," he mumbles.

when he does decide to look back at the rito, revali is staring at him, watching link's every movement and studying his face. "you mean to tell me that the hylian champion actually prefers bows and that you're a fan of mine?" he says. there's no bite or scorn in his voice; it's a genuine question.

link nods. "if it was up to me, there should be a master bow, or something. i'd rather wield that than a sword."

revali stares at him for a couple moments, before snorting and tilting his beak up, tossing his braids over his shoulder. "well," revali mutters, "if you were actually interested in such, i'm working on creating exactly that."

link's eyes widen and suddenly the embarrassment dissipates out of him. "really?" he says, breathlessly, excitedly.

revali glances at him and his prideful expression melts a little. "yes," he says carefully. "it's better than a swallow bow or a falcon bow, or both of them combined. it's going to be the strongest bow in the entirety of hyrule."

"can i see it?" link says excitedly. but then he remembers— revali doesn't seem to like him very much because of the master sword :( so his face falls and he takes a step back. "or— never mind, it's okay if you don't want to. i'm overstepping, you're the master revali, i should—"

"i didn't say no," revali says abruptly. he seems to regret speaking so harsh, and his voice softens a margin. "i didn't say no," revali repeats, more gently. "i wouldn't be averse to... showing you my precious craft. after all, it seems you have some semblance of intellect to appreciate the art of archery, after all." revali looks away, crossing his arms.

"really? you'll show me?" link whispers, eyes impossibly wider. revali looks back at him and they maintain each other's gaze for a moment before the rito gives one slight nod. link could cry from happiness right now. "oh. oh, thank you master revali, i'm really grateful—"

"just 'revali' is fine," the rito says, voice significantly softer than before. "we'll be working together as champions... it's better we establish some rapport and familiarity with each other now." somehow, revali's eyes seem to be less piercing as he keeps link's gaze. link can't pinpoint what it is, but he thinks he likes it a little more.

"okay," link says, quiet and breathless and still starstruck. "okay. thank you then, revali. i look forward to working with you, and getting to see your master bow."

revali hums and bows his head slightly in response. "and i you," he replies. and they're quiet, staring at each other for a couple more moments until revali speaks again.

"you said your archery skills were sufficient," the rito says. "i wish to see what such sufficiency looks like from the wielder of the master sword and someone who claims to have prodigal talent over every weapon."

link tilts his head to the side. "you... want to watch me shoot?"

revali nods once. "most rito train at the flight range, but that place isn't meant for your flightless kind. fortunately, we have plenty of space for grounded archery as well." revali looks away. "only if you wish to."

"i'd love to," link whispers, with stars in his eyes again. "when do we...?"

"now, if you'd like," revali replies. he pauses, looking like he wants to say something else. "i'll... take you there."

"okay," link says. "i'd like that. i'm fine with that."

"okay," revali responds and they're staring at each other again in silence. as much as he doesn't want to, link can feel the pink flush of shyness return to his cheeks, as much as he wills them away. something changes in revali's expression, something link can't name.

but he's met his idol, the master archer revali, who's also the champion of the rito who he'll be working alongside to save hyrule. they'll be around each other a lot, hopefully, and perhaps they could even become friends... or even closer... anyway, this is the best day of link's life!

i imagine they start spending a lot of time together and getting to know each other, revali asking questions about how link came to love archery and discussing rito vs hateno archery, what make up the best qualities for bows and arrows, talking about their favorite rito legends, revali recommending his favorite bower to mend link's swallow bow, revali giving link tips on his form and how to shoot more accurately... revali showing link the flight range even though he can't train there really and link wistfully wishing he could (and the idea of the paraglider is beginning to formulate in revali's mind teehee). when link has to leave to the next place with zelda, they don't really want to part ways but they do and both link and revali are somewhat low-spirited after they do.

link who starts writing letters to revali from wherever he is in hyrule and telling revali not to write back because he doesn't stay in the same place for too long, but that he hopes he can visit again soon. they still both have that odd one-sided rivals to friends tension happening, especially with revali who does a lot of analytical staring before he allows himself to relax and interact with link, and link, who now has to come to terms with his huge crush on revali and trying desperately trying to hide it. they're both fawking freak weirdos lawl but they're cute weirdos trying to get to know each other better and maybe be friends :) maybe be more :))

[torchickentacos]

you ever scroll past some sort of discourse that you didn't even know existed, and you have to take a second and realize that, while none of us are superior to others, some of us ARE much better at choosing which dumbass hills to die on? because I think sometimes you deserve to go 'huh. at least I'm not getting involved in all that'.

[joanthangroff]

kinda forgot how weird it is to tell new people about your fucked up family dynamics

[tonariofjananda]

For the ask game: Tonari - 5, 7, and 12!

Heya Ray! Ok here goes

5) What's the first song that comes to mind when you think about them?

Honestly I’ve got a handful, most for maybe a line or two of association, but the first one that came to mind when reading this question that’s completely hers in my head was “The Moon Will Sing” by the Crane Wives. I love imagining the song as her reflecting on her dad, friends, Hayase, and Fushi, and how they’ve all contributed to the way she feels about herself and her legacy. Fun fact, the association came about from my mishearing of a line as “I shine only with the life you gave me,” the original word being “light” instead of “life.” But the more I reflected on the song, the more I felt her presence in it (I described this to my best friend as Tonari clawing her way to the surface lol), especially in the third verse. That one in particular draws a really vivid image to me of what Tonari’s headspace must have been right after Fushi pulled her away from the flames. I imagine she’s remorseful that she couldn’t give her friends a better life and is rallying to find her courage to kill them before Fushi steps in. “Instead you hoarded all that’s left of me” is a complicated little line too, filled with the bitterness and confusion at Fushi of keeping her from death. There’s not much left of her with the death of her friends, what Fushi did was selfish, but also implies Tonari didn’t realize Fushi cared if she lived or died. Then he takes the sword from her hands, “swallowing your doubt,” and she’s… grateful, angry, upset… but most of all, she acknowledges the mutual hesitance between herself and Fushi, even though they both know this is the only course of action. Even though it makes her feel like he’s taking the sword through her own body. He might as well be. The line “I want to feel the fire that you kept from me” is the most straightforward in my opinion, and what really solidified this song as being hers for me. It’s a little funny what I’ve done here tbh. The song probably meant the line as “i want to become the person you stopped me from being, I want to regain the life that was supposed to be mine,” but for this Tonari interpretation, I’ve given it the opposite implication… cough

Anyway, the chorus also kind of ties in with another song I somewhat associate with her, “Your Best American Girl” by Mitski, for the lines “Well I’m not the moon/I’m not even a star,” but I’ll spare you the analysis for that and “Goodbye My Danish Sweetheart” (also by Mitski) til… later 👀❗️

For now, I’ll leave you with the three following, lighter songs: Laufey called “Best Friend,” which I listen to as something directed towards the immortal army as a whole; “Wings,” by So!YoON! and Phum Viphruit as a song between her and Ligard and Fushi woah who said that; and “A Thousand Years” by Christina Perri bc immortalism and the heartbreak of waiting to reunite with someone. Also please imagine the second verse as being from Fushi’s perspective on getting not just her but all of their friends back at the end of the past era arc with potentially rough implications for their thought process in the modern arc WHO SAID THAT

7) What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you like?

(Lyn asked me this too so I’ll cover it here for the two of ya!)

Tbh… I just like it when anyone talks about her ówò Tonari tends to get overlooked- even tho I’d argue she’s something of a deuteragonist- so I really just love whenever people acknowledge her importance to the story and show some enthusiasm for her plotlines. In terms of stories and fan art, it’s always awesome to see all the different sides of her shine through! Tonari’s badass, bitchy, and a little judgmental, but she’s also fashionable, studious, and warm, especially toward March and Eko. It’s also nice to see the occasional silliness she used to show on Jananda shine through every now and then. She’s changed a lot by the next arc, for obvious reasons, but she was pretty silly to Hisame when she was inviting herself to dinner, I don’t think all that playfulness should just disappear! So it’s nice to see fans playing with Tonari without vilifying her ;w; Also without reducing her to her feelings for Fushi, because yeah she has some but that’s not the only thing she’s about (even tho…. I fixate a lot… on that particular subject……… cough). While I’m on the subject, I really love that most ToFu art is limited to things like gentle physical affection. A head on a shoulder (I spent hours running around my house when you sent me that pic Ray, HOURS), a meaningful hug, and touching hands- an absolute must if you like em. I’m definitely getting carried away now though…

12) What's a headcanon you have for this character?

(Limit yourself, limit yourself, limit yourself…!!!)

(Also Coop if you’re reading this, the green one is the only safe one lol)

Bisexual Tonari is an obvious one, I’m convinced she was attracted to Parona’s form (who isn’t in this show tho lmao), and I find those ship posts between Tonari and Mizuha to be so fun tbh. Enemies to lovers maybe, invited to hold hands with her and Hanna! That theory you had about Nagisa having a crush on Tonari lives in my head rent free too, absolutely canon to me. Actually the MizuNariHanna stuff would be extra funny in a world where Nagisa has a crush on Tonari bc now Mizuha’s a girl stealer too! Nagisa just can’t win!!!

Tonari loves writing! And she’s a woman in STEM! Not a headcanon just fact but it lays down the groundwork for my following headcanon: she probably went away to grad school or something. Bon asked if Tonari knew how to do surgery, implying to my insane head that she’s probably gone away for school or something, maybe even received a doctorate, but Bon doesn’t know what for. Her stitches look a bit spaced out and wonky tbh, so she probably doesn’t have the patience for things like needlepoint. I’d wager her calling probably isn’t physical art either haha.

She absolutely goes drinking with the immortal trio + Bon and maybe Gugu once she’s old enough to do so (… would Hairo drink? Designated driver Hairo Rich, but also it’d be so funny if he’s completely normal in the stupidest way while drunk. “Stands like perfectly normal but topples over the second he goes to take a step” typa drunk- BUT THIS ISNT ABOUT HIM SORRY). I think they’d love having Tonari around to pal around with! I imagine that old Jananda arc silliness comes out full force then, if her excitement at Mizuha’s birthday was anything to go off ✌️

(This one’s safe Coop!) Her hair’s been short and choppy since before she got to Jananda so I like to think she did that little kid thing where she tried cutting her own hair and it came out looking uneven. Instead of letting her parents fix it though, she just insisted it wasn’t a mistake and wore it out like that for years. Then when she got to Jananda all the scissors sucked so she just had to keep cutting her hair in the same shabby way. Mia and Oopa having long hair is so funny to me too cuz I imagine they wouldn’t let Tonari get anywhere near them with scissors in her hand (OK stop reading here Coop!)

While I’m here, i think Tonari probably sees a little bit of her old friends in the immortal army tbh. Like, @/alphaofdarkness made the connection that March probably reminded Tonari of Oopa ;; So I feel like Gugu could remind Tonari of Uroy in some ways too, like in the buff, blond, older brother figure kind of way. Eko could remind her of young Sandel in the same way both were kind of upbeat and cute, but quiet in a way that they faded a little in the group (my brother INSISTED Sandel had NOT been there the entire time we were watching the Jananda arc). Meanwhile Messar might remind her of the older Sandel, the kind who probably was more like a brotherly shithead to her after all their years of growing up together. And Mia… imma be honest Mia’s weird as hell, chair fighting, curly hair collecting? Ain’t nobody doing it like Mia 🫡 ACTUALLY ITS BON, BON TOTALLY REMINDS HER OF MIA LMAO

OK IM ENDING IT THERE (Believe it or not this is me limiting myself, I’d typed out an entire section on Tonari’s relationship with each of the members of the immortal army). Hope these were decent enough responses to your questions Ray!

If you- or anyone- has anymore questions on Tonari or literally anyone else please feel free to send them! I have thoughts on like literally everyone, no character too obscure ✌️

[ebongawk]

.

[fictionadventurer]

The Springfield pictures on my phone are coming in handy as I go through the Lincoln book.

Wax figures of Lincoln's Cabinet from the Lincoln Museum

Banner from the 1860 Election in the historic Springfield Capitol building.

Sign from Lincoln's Law Office.

Historic Springfield Capitol building

[copper-dragon-in-disguise]

OOOOGH COOKIES YUMM!!!! im good too im going to have a sleepover sooonn and im excited!!

ooooh thats awesome sleepovers are really fun!!!! (not sarcastic)

[totallynotstealingcheesecake]

okay so this is so not the kind of thing that I normally post but I am actively dying of wholesome and I needed to share. Long post inbound.

Okay so for context, I'm not *super* close with my youngest (closest to me in age) brother, but we vibe pretty well and generally have fun together, just our interests don't align very often.

A few months ago we basically looked at each other and went "hey wait a second, we're both like. in our early 20s and not tied down with partners/demanding jobs/children, but heck its probably not gonna stay that way for very long -- lets do that sibling bonding roadtrip we keep talking about."

So we did. We took a roadtrip back to our hometown, which happens to be in a very northern part of the US, and we had a lovely time.

But that's not the important part -- the main thing to take away here is that while we were on a sibling bonding trip visiting our hometown up north, we went to a hockey game.

Now, I am not generally a sports person. I'm on tumblr, so maybe that should be obvious. I don't mind hockey, though, because generally I can follow the flow of the game and occasionally the players deck each other, so its a fun time all around.

My brother convinced me (it didn't take much convincing) to go to a hockey game, and it just so happened that his favorite team had a home game the week we were gonna be in town. So we went to that.

Reader -- I loved it.

Did I understand everything that was happening? No, not even close. But I knew which color jersey to cheer for, and I made an attempt to remember names, and I knew which net was the good one for the puck to go in. But at some point during that game, it became so much less about understanding what was happening, and so much more about the atmosphere, the intensity, the hive-mind group energy of a thousand people cheering at the same time, for the same thing.

If you have never experienced a big sporting event like that, do it. I beg you, do it at least once, give it a solid try, take earplugs if you need to. It is addictive.

So we finish the roadtrip and go home, and some time passes. My brother invites me to watch a hockey game with him, and I don't have anything going on, and I can see a bid for connection when one is presented to me, so I accept. And it's fun! I still don't know what's going on, but my brother is more than happy to answer my questions, and it turns out I actually picked up a few things from the live game we went to. I have a great time, I hug my brother, and we part ways again.

Another month goes by. I'm back at college now and obviously stressed out of my mind. I'm not doing much of anything recreationally that isn't tangentially related to my chosen course of study. I'm slowly losing my mind. My brother texts me -- "hey, idk if you actually wanted to get into hockey or if that was like, a one-time thing, but there's another game happening this weekend. If you have time, we could watch it on my TV."

I don't have much homework due that weekend, and I'm losing my mind anyway, so what the heck. Yeah, I'm sufficiently intrigued. I watch another hockey game.

A week goes by. My brother mentions in passing that he won't be able to watch the away game happening in a day or two, because he'll be at work. I glance at my calendar. I have time. I've already downloaded the hockey team's app. Eh, what the heck. I watch the hockey game, on my own. (I watched the hockey game, on my own, of my own volition.)

In the middle of the game, I text my brother to ask a question about something the commentator said. He types for a few minutes, then texts back:

"Are you watching the hockey game? Right now?"

Oop.

"............maybe"

He answers my question and is quietly smug. I look up the team calendar and we make plans to watch the next game together.

Fast forward to few days ago, I am, unfortunately(?), hooked. I've watched more hockey games in the last month than my entire life. I have a favorite player. I understand approx. 40% of what the commentators say. The other day, I yelled at the TV because a hockey player did something dumb. (the net was empty and he missed, how do you miss an unguarded net--) I felt like a middle-aged suburbian father who emotionally neglects his three and a half children. But still, I'm actually having fun, and spending more time with my brother.

We watch another hockey game together. I've taken to wearing the freebie hat I got at my first game because it's the only thing I have with the team logo on it. It's a very dumb-looking hat, but I wear it with a slowly-growing sense of pride. I joke with my brother that I'm gonna have to buy an official hat so I can watch a game without looking so silly.

Fast forward to yesterday. I get home from college, and my brother is also there, looking a little sheepish. He hands me a brand new, officially licensed t-shirt in the team's colors with the team logo on the front. "So you don't have to wear the stupid hat," he says.

I give him a hug (because what else was I gonna do, not hug him?) and in the hug, he says quietly, "Thanks for being interested in my interest."

Reader, I am one of two people in my family (other than him) that has taken any kind of interest in sports. Reader, I thought he was just being nice when he was answering my numerous questions, but he was actually just very quietly goddang thrilled that someone was taking his interest seriously, that he got to explain the game to a willing audience.

BUt that's not all! No no, reader, today I looked up the official merch store, because I still kind of want a better hat.

Reader. Everything on that store is egregiously overpriced.

Reader, reader, my brother is broke.

He spent. A not insignificant amount of money -- that would otherwise have been spent on buying the little things like food and rent and gas for his car -- to buy me a t-shirt. Because I decided to give hockey a chance.

Reader. I am going to cry.