#I mean… I can’t stop what people choose to ship

[xndrexcruz]

When You Get Shipped With Another Player | FC BARCELONA

✮- summary: how they react to fans shipping you with another barca player

✮- warnings: none i don’t think

Requests are open

masterlist here

João Félix

“How come fans think you’re a better match with Marc Guiu than with me?” João grumbled, throwing his bag down by the door.

You glanced up at him from your book, raising an eyebrow. “Fans are just being fans, João. They see what they want to see, you know how it is.”

He walked over to you and plopped down besides you, a pout forming on his puffy lips. “Mas não é justo. Somos perfeitos juntos.” (“It’s not fair though. We’re perfect together.”)

You slightly chuckled, putting your book aside and leaning closer to your boyfriend. “We know that, but they don’t. They just enjoy making up different scenarios, nothing serious.”

“Yeah, but why Marc? I mean he’s a pretty good guy and all, but he’s obviously not me,” João insisted, wrapping his arms around you possessively.

You pressed a kiss to his lips and then trailed a line of kisses along his jaw. “Maybe just maybe, they can’t handle how perfect we are together.” You whispered in between kisses, “They need some drama to entertain themselves.”

João signed, his body relaxing under your soft touch. “I just really hate seeing those comments. It makes me want to scream to the world that you’re mine and I’m yours.”

“One day, I promise. For now, let’s just enjoy what we have now,” you whispered, kissing him deeply.

“Yeah, you’re right, João murmured against your lips, his jealousy melting away. “As long as we know the truth right, that’s all that matters.”

Pablo Gavi

“I swear, if I see one more post shipping you with Héctor, i’m actually going to lose it,” Gavi fumed, pacing around the room.

You signed, shutting your laptop closed. “Pablo, it’s just fans having fun. They don’t mean any harm.”

He stopped pacing and looked at you, frustration evident when you looked at him in the eyes. “But it bothers me. They think you two would be a quote on quote amazing couple.”

You stood up and walked over to him, placing your hands on his chest. “Do you really I care about what they think? I’m with you because I’m head over heels for you.”

Gavin’s expression softened at your words, but he still seemed restless. "Es difícil ignorarlo, ¿sabes? Quiero que todos sepan que eres mi novia". (“It’s just hard to ignore, you know? I want everyone to know you’re my girlfriend.”)

You kissed his lips and then both his cheeks, feeling him shiver at the contact. “I know, trust me I know, but we had both agreed to keep things private in the meantime. We just have to trust that our love for one another is strong enough.”

He signed at your words, wrapping his arms around you and putting his head in the crook of your neck. “It is. I’m sorry for getting frustrated. It’s not on purpose.”

You smiled, leaning your head to kiss him. “It’s okay. I just want you to remember that you’re the one I choose every single day, just you.”

Pedri González

“I don’t understand why people think you and João would make such a power couple,” Pedri muttered, scrolling through his phone.

You rolled your eyes, setting you coffee mug down on the coffee table. “Because they don’t about the two of us, Pedri. They’re only speculating.”

He looked up at you, concern written across his face. “But it still bothers me. I want them to see how perfect I am for you.”

You walked over and sat next to him, taking his hands into yours. “I know it must be hard, but it’s just make believe, I’m with you not João. We know what’s actually real.”

Pedri only let out a huff, squeezing your hands. “Sinceramente, odio la idea de que alguien más que no sea yo pueda estar contigo”. (“I just honestly hate the thought of anyone else being with you who isn't me.”)

You leaned in, kissing him lovingly before moving to his neck. “You have absolutely nothing to worry about. I’m all yours Pedri.”

A smile started forming on his lips. “You’re right, of course you are. It only matters that you and I know the truth no one else matters.”

“Exactly,” you murmured, kissing his lips again.

Fermín López

“We could always let our relationship go public to stop the rumors about you and Lamine,” Fermín suggested, frustration evident in his voice.

You looked at him in surprise. “You do remember you were the one who wanted to keep our relationship hidden from the public to protect us, right?”

He let out a breath, running a hand through his combed hair. “Lo sé, pero es duro ver a los fans pensar que tú y él son más adecuados el uno para el otro”. (“I know, but it’s hard seeing fans think you and him are better suited for each other.”)

You laid your head on his chest before speaking. “It’s just rumors. They don’t mean anything.”

Fermín pulled you closer into him, kissing the top of your head. “It’s just annoying. I always see those type of comments.”

You tilted your head up to see him, kissing his adam’s apple. “It doesn’t matter what the fans think. We’re the ones together.”

He nodded his head, sighing as he relaxed his head on top of yours. “You’re right Y/n. I’m sorry for getting so worked up over that.”

You gave him a small smile. “It’s okay. As long as I’m with you.”

Héctor Fort

“Why do fans seem to think you’d be better with Pedri than you would be with me?” Héctor annoyingly grumbled, tossing his phone aside.

You looked up from the movie you had been watching. “Héctor they don’t know any better. The fans are just imagining things, they would think differently if they knew we were dating.”

He walked over and sat next to you, while wrapping an arm around your shoulders. “I just want every person to know that you’re mine, not anybody else’s.”

You leaned against his shoulder, leaving a kiss on his cheek. “One day they all will. But for now, let’s enjoy our relationship as it is, okay?”

Héctor nodded, resting his head over yours to find comfort in your touch. "Bé. Em molesta tant veure comentaris com que m'irrita molt.” (“Okay. It just bothers me so much seeing comments like that it really irritates me.””

You moved off his shoulder, placing you hand on his defined jawline. “Just don’t let it get to you. Because nothing will change the fact that I’m your girlfriend Héctor.”

He smiled, leaning down to kiss you softly. “I won’t, not anymore.”

Lamine Yamal

"Of all the players, they think you'd go out with Fermín," Lamine muttered, scrolling through his phone.

You chuckled, shaking your head. "Fans will ship anyone with anyone. It doesn't mean anything, you should know that."

He looked at you, concern clear in his eyes. "Doesn’t change the fact that it’s annoying. They should know I’m your boyfriend."

You walked over and wrapped your arms around his neck. "Maybe but at least we know that you are my incredible and loving boyfriend."

Lamine cracked a small smile, pulling you closer. "No puedo esperar hasta el día en que el mundo sepa que estamos juntos. Entonces, esto hará que dejemos de emparejarte con otras personas que no son tus novios.” (“I can’t wait till the day the world knows that we’re together. Then this will stop all the shipping you with other people who aren’t your boyfriend.")

You kissed his neck, feeling him relax. "Don’t let it get to you. Soon enough everyone will know, I promise Lamine."

He smiled, kissing you softly. "You better keep your promise"

Marc Guiu

"How am I supposed to ignore the fans shipping you with Gavi?" Marc exclaimed, frustration clear in his voice as he spoke.

You sighed, looking up from your phone. "It’s just rumors. They don’t know what they’re talking about half the time."

He looked at you, concern etched on his face. "Però em molesta molt. Sé que tu i en Gavi no esteu passant res, però només pensar-hi em molesta molt". ("But it really bothers me. I know that you and Gavi don’t have anything going on but just thinking about it annoys me so much.")

You walked over and wrapped your arms around his waist. "Exactly. So don’t worry about something that silly."

Marc sighed, pulling you closer. "I just hate seeing people think Gavi could do a better job at being your boyfriend than I can."

You kissed his neck, feeling his body starting to relax. "Don’t let it get to you. We know that you are the only boy for me."

"That you’re right about." He smirked, as he kissed your lips.

[verstappen-cult]

gonna take up on the request opening bc i love these lil blurbs you do with your moodboards! maybe "how they defend you online" esp charles and lando but if you feel like adding others its up to you !!

THE BOYS DEFENDING YOU FROM ONLINE HATE | F1 GRID

★ — LANDO NORRIS (4)

lando was streaming when you came home one day. once he heard the front door being closed and then your footsteps, he excused himself with his friends and viewers and went to greet you. when he came back, there were several texts from his friends letting him know of some not-so-friendly comments about you. suddenly, lando had something else to do and ended the whole thing. he did not tell you anything, lando simply waited until his next stream for what he wanted to do. it was very simple and definitely something lando would do; and staring right into the camera lando let the world know that if they don’t support his relationship, then he just doesn’t want their support at all. from then on, lando just blocked everyone who didn’t have anything good to say. you’re the most important person in his life, how can anyone hate you? and so, lando made a promise to himself: show the world the amazing girl you are.

★ — CHARLES LECLERC (16)

even way before you started dating charles, receiving hateful comments and messages was a common occurrence. of course your boyfriend knew about it, everyone could see what was happening just by choosing a random picture on your instagram and reading the replies. it was sad, awful. but you didn’t want charles to do anything, you stopped him a lot of times because you didn’t want to bring too much attention into the whole thing. charles loves you and that is all that matters to you. it was, well, okay… until things became a little to real, a little too much, and charles couldn’t sit back and do nothing. so with a little bit of help from his team, he managed to write a very good and long statement about the whole thing. there were mixed opinions but things quiet down a little. and you weren’t happy at first, but something as simple as seeing your comment section hate-free made you forgive him sooner.

★ — OSCAR PIASTRI (81)

oscar is a man of very few words and never engages in online drama or gossip. if and when he’s online, oscar just wants to see cute and funny videos. he’s a formula one driver and people should only be interested in that part of his life, but he knows that will never be the case. however, he’s still surprised to see various comments around twitter about you. they are not about how beautiful or intelligent you are or how happy you seem to make oscar with your pretty smile and sense of humor – not that they would know that. not that they deserve to know that, either. some part of him wants to reply to those people who definitely don’t know you, he’s angry, disgusted. and the rational part of him tells him to simply don’t say anything because they don’t deserve it. so, oscar just clicks to make a new tweet and begins with a simple phrase “you don’t know anything about me or my life…” and so on. maybe he sounded a little harsh, maybe things will get worse; he couldn’t care less, as long as you’re not mad with him, he can live with being the center of the drama. oscar will never let anyone disrespect you.

★ — MAX VERSTAPPEN (33/1)

max doesn’t care what people think and have to say about him, that ship has sailed a long time ago. but he can’t ignore when people say mean things about you, he just can’t, so, he doesn’t. max replies to every single tweet and comment on both his and your instagram that he sees, he goes directly to the point and if he’s mean then, who cares? maybe it’s a little bit childish but he doesn’t care, max will not allow anyone to talk shit about his girl. and if he needs to make a video or do an interview or whatever he needs to do to make people understand that you are part of his life and forever will be, then he will be more than happy to do them. max is almost never online, so when all of this happens he makes sure to make time to be online, to post a picture of you on his instagram story, to post a photo of your vacation together on his feed, to say how much he loves you via twitter, to mention you when he has the chance during an interview. he loves making you blush and seeing you trying to hide your smile when you see all those things. max also loves pissing people off.

★ — ALEX ALBON (23)

alex tries to be friendly. when he sees someone say something not good about his girlfriend, he doesn’t hesitate to prove them wrong and defend you. he knows you’re more than capable of doing it and has seen you doing it before; he loves it. but there’s this something inside of him trying to break free and just let everyone know the funny, pretty, amazing, kind girl he’s lucky to call his girlfriend. so, alex lets it free and goes liking, retweeting and replying to every single comment about you and how shiny and nice your hair is, how you seem to make alex so happy and how he’s always smiling around you (he makes sure to let them know why is that), how lucky alex is to have you by his side, and so on and on and on until there’s nothing more for him, until he can’t think about the mean things people said, until you are laughing next to him and calling him obsessed and kissing him like your life depends on it.

★ — DANIEL RICCIARDO (3)

daniel chooses a catchy song and changes some of the lyrics, then sets his phone down and sits with a big smile and his guitar. when the video starts, he simply says “this is dedicated to all of the assholes thinking that is okay to hate on someone’s girlfriend just because.” and then he starts singing. there are a lot of bad words and cursing and long pauses looking directly into the camera without losing that big and pretty smile he has. daniel then uploads the video to all his platforms with a little paragraph about why bullying is bad and why you should mind your own business because he’s not that interesting anyway and it won’t make him break up with you because some trolls are practically begging him to. he ends up getting in trouble for not consulting with his team before doing what he did, something that has him going viral, so viral that people outside of formula one and people who don’t even who he is talk about it. exactly what he wanted.

★ — MICK SCHUMACHER (47)

the moment mick has to hold you in his arms as you cry because you’d read something mean about you, it’s the exact moment he decides to do something about it. he doesn’t want to cause drama or make things worse, so, it takes him a little while and some long calls with his sister to know what to do. mick puts the poetry classes you two take a few months ago to good use and writes the most beautiful and romantic poem you and everyone would ever read. it is about you, about his love for you, about what you mean to him and everything he likes about you. he posts a little phrase to his instagram stories and sets a time and day for when it will be posted it. when the day cames and you get to read it, you end up crying again but for a whole different reason. it’s not that you didn’t know mick loved you but it’s the gesture, the time he spent doing it, the fact that he wanted to do it and wanted the whole world to read his love letter to you, something that will forever be there.

© VERSTAPPEN-CULT ⎯ do not repost, translate, plagiarise or claim any of my works as your own.

[wri0thesley]

lion tamer - jing yuan x reader (12.4k)

it's taken for granted you'll take the job that nobody else wants, whilst the general is indisposed. you just didn't expect things to turn out like this.

cw: not sfw, minors dni. chubby reader. reader is afab but no gendered terms are used. descriptions of raw meat (animals eating), food, pining, fingering, cunnilingus, coming inside. pet names including little bird, darling, little thing. reader is implied to be shorter than jing yuan.

This was a commissioned work.

It’s a quiet whisper, at first - gossip among the lower-downs of the Luofu. You hear it on the fringes and the edges, but you dismiss it as really none of your business; you’re already working harder than most everyone else thanks to the small matter of your far shorter lifespan, and you don’t intend to set yourself back by listening to idle gossip. You have other things to concentrate on; the busywork that you’ve been assigned to as a junior (very junior) member of the Seat of Divine Foresight. 

Really, though they call you a ‘non-administrative support specialist’, you know what you really are; a general dogsbody, somebody to pick up all of the pieces that others sweep by. Still; just getting a position here means you’ve outdone most people, and you hold in your heart the idea that you could get even further up this ladder of success if you simply tried hard enough. You’ve heard tell that even some of the long-life species haven’t managed to make it as far as actually working within the Seat itself, so really . . . you can’t help but feel a little proud of yourself. 

Which is why you choose to ignore the swirling rumour about your esteemed Arbiter-General until you’re called into a meeting with Yong Hai himself. 

(The General is sick, the rumours say. The General may not last another day. The General’s laziness has caught up with him, the General may not make it, and what will we all do then--)

“So,” Yong Hai says, all business. “You’ve probably heard about it already.”

There’s a flare of disquiet in your gut; that the gossip and the rumours you’ve been so steadfastly avoiding are true. You don’t know what the Luofu would do with General Jing Yuan; you cannot imagine the ship and the world without him, when he has been such a stolid presence - and the way that the general public will react doesn’t bear thinking about--

“Stop that,” Yong Hai says, with an amused look in his eye even as he fights to keep his mouth in a firm, commanding line. “It’s not as bad as people are saying. The General has simply . . . contracted something that he isn’t bouncing back as quickly from as we’d hoped. We’ve had to send him off to the Alchemy Commission for a few days, just to see if we can work out how to help . . .” The secretary catches himself, clearly remembering he’s talking to someone who amounts to little more than custodial staff. He coughs. “Anyway. It’s left us in a bit of a conundrum, and after some discussion, we think you’re qualified to handle it.”

You tilt your head to the side as you try and think what you could possibly do to assist in this matter.

You’re no healer; you’re no nurse. You can’t help them figure out how to cure the General, you’re not equipped to sit at his bedside and mop his feverish brow (your cheeks go hot and your face burns at the very thought of it). You certainly can’t take over any of Jing Yuan’s actual duties. The idea of you as any kind of military strategist is laughable--

“How can I help, Sir?” You ask, partly because that is what’s expected of you and partly because you really have no idea what use you’ll be in the situation. 

“Ah,” he says, and then he coughs again - he looks into the corner of the room, as if he’s begging someone to help him, and you remember that he and his sister are most often found together. But here, it’s just the two of you, and he has nobody to help him to break whatever news he’s going to break to you. You hope it’s not going to involve cleaning up a sick-room; you’re really not good with that kind of thing--

“We need somebody to tend to his home affairs,” Yong Hai says, eventually. “He . . . Ah, look, I’m going to come out and say it. General Jing Yuan has a penchant for taking in stray animals and the like, and he only even agreed to let himself be looked at on the caveat we had to promise to find someone to look after them.”

You think of the statues of lions that decorate the place, and you feel a trickle of cold sweat down the back of your spine. You hope desperately that the secretary isn’t implying that you’re about to quite literally be fed to the lions--

“Stop looking like that!” He says, exasperated. “All of them are perfectly tame, and you’ll be in no danger. He has a . . . lion that he’s incredibly fond of. Several birds. And . . . ah,” he looks embarrassed again. “He’s informed us he usually leaves out a veritable feast for any other neighbourhood strays on his balcony, and he was very worried that they weren’t going to be properly nourished whilst he was away.”

Finches. You can do that. Neighbourhood strays - cats and dogs, you suppose - are all very well. But the lion . . .

That doesn’t matter. Yong Hai seems to have reached the end of his meeting with you, to his tangible relief. He’s already bustling about his desk and looking longingly towards the closed door. 

“A new schedule’s been drawn up for you and sent to you already,” he says. “All of the relevant information should be in the attachments! Have fun, won’t you? The General is so very fond of his pets, you see--”

Your phone beeps as if it is punctuating his point; the secretary beams at you, and you get the distinct impression you are being told to put your best foot forward and roll with the punches. ‘Get on with it’, as someone without any manners might say. 

“Understood,” you say, and you force yourself to smile and look on the bright side of things even if you’re sure you’re going to have nightmares about being eaten alive by a lion tonight. This is a post that the General wanted filled personally! This is almost as personal as someone can get to the General, actually; it appears you’ll be working in his actual home! It’s a . . . a step up! A stepping stone!

You force yourself to ignore that it is actually very much a case of sticking the lowest ranked person (and someone well-known for taking on as much as they can with cheerful aplomb, due to your fear of ever really saying ‘no’) onto the job that nobody else wants to do. 

“I’ll do my best,” you say, and Yong Hai beams at you even as he gestures for you to go and get to grips with your new role. 

Well. 

You have no other choice then, really, but to Get On With It. 

You are quite frankly terrified the next day, when you turn up to your newest duty. The documents sent to you had instructed you to pick up raw meat for the lion from the General’s most trusted supplier before you went up to his chambers; apparently, birdseed and cat-and-dog food was kept there, but the lion’s appetite could not so easily be sated. You have to give yourself a pep-talk before all of it; have to convince yourself that running away from this new responsibility would be both awful for your career prospects and terribly cruel.

“Ah,” says the supplier, when you turn up and tremulously hand over your phone so he can see the attachments displayed on the screen giving you this new Meat Power, “So you’re looking after the waifs and strays and Mimi, then?” 

“Mimi?” You ask, your voice tremulous, and he laughs as he hands over two incredibly full buckets of raw meat. It’s a good job you’re not squeamish. 

“That’s the lion,” he says. “The General tried to name her Snow Lion after he realised she wasn’t just going to be a pretty little white housecat, but . . . Mimi fits. You’ll see!”

The concept of Jing Yuan attempting to adopt a pretty little white house cat and being saddled instead with a huge lion, and having to continue to refer to the powerful beast as ‘Mimi’ despite his best efforts, keeps you entertained right up until you’re outside the door to the General’s chambers and you remember that a carnivorous predator awaits you on the other side of it.

“Well,” you say to yourself, hoisting the buckets up and taking a deep breath, “there’s no point delaying the inevitable. If I get eaten today . . .”

And you let the pass-key you’ve been given float against the sensor, until the ornate doors to Jing Yuan’s chambers slowly part and admit you into the Arbiter-General’s inner sanctum. 

The first thing that you’re struck by is how it seems that the General left in a rush. The entire place, whilst not dirty, has an air of untidiness. You hear the cheeping of finches from the first room; excitement that their Master may have finally returned to play with them. You can’t help but feel sorry for them - from what Yong Hai has said, it may be quite a while before Jing Yuan is well enough to return to his home. 

There are touches of the General everywhere, now that you’re looking. Delicate flowers (you’ve heard he likes small, delicate things, and you can’t help the nervous tug at your clothing as you consider just how indelicate you find yourself). Ceramics and porcelain that you fear are so fragile they may shatter even under your gaze. An unfinished game of star chess, a coffee cup left half-drunk . . . That last one could fetch a fine price in the black market. You’ve heard those traders hawking ‘tissues used by Helm Master Yukong’ or even ‘a book enjoyed by General Jing Yuan’s protege!’. 

Before your mind can lead you too far down that dangerous path, though, the lady of the hour appears. 

She’s beautiful. 

You have to stop yourself gasping aloud. Any fears you might have had seem to fall to the wayside, unimportant, compared to the majesty of the lion before you; the pure white fur, the wise face, the mane that fluffs out from her. She’s pure white; lean, but perhaps with a little pouch at the tummy. Not a single snarl or tangle mars her fur, not a single speck of dirt upon her, like the false moon looking down upon the Luofu--

She sees that you’re holding two big buckets and seems to recognise them, because it’s barely a breath before her ears twitch and she pounces like a kitten, seemingly not realising that you are smaller than her owner and she is far larger than the average kitten is. All of the wind is knocked out of you as you cry out her name and are tackled to the ground. 

You find yourself beneath the warmth of her body, a sweet scent emanating from her fur as if the esteemed General regularly bathes and shampoos her. Delighted, she sticks her snout right into one of the buckets. A low, pleased rumble emits from her throat as she works her teeth over the meat--

You reach up, hesitantly, with the one arm that isn’t pinned by the great weight of her. Your fingers hover for a moment, unsure of what to do - is she like a cat? Does she prefer chin scratches or ear scratches?

You settle for a very light pet at the side of her mane, just by her face. Her fur is just as soft as you had thought she would be - a lady who is clearly incredibly spoilt. Well-cared for. You have another flash of a vision of Jing Yuan - combing her mane, tying a shiny ribbon about her neck to match the ribbon he wears in his own hair. 

Mimi pauses in her enjoyment of the food. Your breath catches in your throat, all of your senses on a sudden high alert - what if she didn’t like being touched like that? What if she’s about to mistake your hand for a part of the buffet you’ve brought her?

A moment that seems like an hour passes.

And then she leans into your hand with a pleased rumble-squeak-growl, her eyes closing in pleasure, and despite how your heart is beating and your legs are aching from the way she’s twisted them and trapped them beneath her . . . you smile. 

For the first week, every time you let yourself into Jing Yuan’s space, you are alone aside from the animals he keeps there. Mimi launches herself at you, but you’ve learnt to sidestep and laugh and ruffle her mane, offering her choice little tidbits to curl up and gnaw on her food whilst you see to the strays that congregate on Jing Yuan’s balcony. They had taken a little longer to warm to you, but after the second day when it became clear if they wanted the same food Jing Yuan usually prepared they would have to come to you, they had thawed considerably. You leave them to their devices, and finish off with the finches. 

They hop from place to place in their cage, cheeping brightly. Sometimes they hop onto your finger or your shoulder, looking at you like you’re the most wonderful being in the universe. Once one had hopped onto your head and you’d stayed stock-still for five minutes, afraid of disturbing it. 

After all of the pets and animals are fed, you’ve gotten into the habit of sitting with them for a little while. Curling around Mimi and stroking her mane and her tail (you’ve braided it, actually, and told her how pretty she looks with little red ribbons in her fur as she blinked at you her slow, lazy blinks). Listening to birdsong. Letting the strays rub about your feet and imagining the Arbiter-General himself doing all of these mundane tasks. 

It’s strange, to think of him as so . . . so much a real person. General Jing Yuan has always seemed a man of mystery and just a touch of romance to you; a long life species who has outlived almost everyone he’s ever worked with, who has steered the Luofu into glories and battled bravely and heroically against Abundance abominations for longer than you’ve been alive. The first time you’d met him, when you’d gotten your place at the Seat of Divine Foresight (before you’d quite found out how meagre your duties really were), you’d been utterly tongue-tied. 

He’d been charming, naturally. Smiling and charismatic and low and pleasant-voiced, saying how glad he was to have you aboard and how he hoped you would enjoy your time here. There’d been, perhaps, a flash of sadness in his eye at the knowledge you were a short-life species-- but you’d quickly tried to dispel that notion, scolding yourself for your own romanticism. Jing Yuan is your colleague, your boss - better to not harbour such idealism, to make him into a storybook character instead of a man. 

Still. It’s rather hard to imagine him out of breath, puffing and wheezing, after pulling the bucket Mimi had gotten her paw stuck in off of the silly lion’s foreleg before she sent herself into a panic. 

You think that the menagerie that he keeps in his private quarters have grown fond of you in turn. The task that everyone had seemed to find so onerous quickly becomes one of your favourite parts of the day; there is something to be said about the healing properties to the soul of having a lion roll over to show you her tummy and wiggle enticingly until you give in to her and give her all of the rubs and tickles that she so clearly desires. 

So for about a week and a half, everything chugs along; you fall into routine, and the animals recognise you in turn. They sometimes still crane their necks and heads hopefully around you to see if Jing Yuan is around (Mimi especially occasionally looks dejected at his absence, though her ears perk up once again as soon as she remembers the buckets you come bearing are filled with delicious morsels for her), but when it is just you they still seem somewhat satisfied. 

Nobody gives you any warning that Jing Yuan has returned to his own rooms. 

Which is why you walk into the main room with your buckets swinging on your arms, singing a silly little song you’ve composed for Mimi about how the meat is soon to be ‘delicious and yummy’ in her ‘full-up-tummy’, you’re so surprised to hear a velvet soft chuckle floating from the big circular sofa in the centre of it that you almost drop all of those delicious-and-yummy steaks and thighs all over Jing Yuan’s ornately tiled floor. 

You stare at the sofa, your cheeks going all-over hot, as a mass of blankets moves and shifts and a slightly ruffled pale head emerges from them.

The General himself. 

It’s obvious, looking at him, that he hasn’t been feeling his best. His normally tied up hair falls over his face in unstyled sweeps, there are dark circles beneath his eyes and a sharpness to his cheekbones that you have never noticed before. Instead of the armour you have grown so used to seeing him clad in, he wears civilian clothes; a loose shirt that shows off the lines of his throat, his collarbone. 

Despite all of that, though, he is still the most handsome man you’ve ever seen. Your heart still skips a beat. He takes you in for a moment, his face scrunched up as if he is not quite awake; and then, a small smile spreads over his handsome face. 

“Don’t stop on my account,” he says, in that low, musical voice. “I’d like to know where the song has to go, after her tummy has been filled.”

“I’m so sorry,” you blurt out, awkward, nervous, unsure of what to say. “I-- nobody told me you’d be back, I can leave, I didn’t mean to--”

He holds up a lazy hand, the smile still on his face. His eyes are half-lidded, his overall look almost indulgent.

“Please,” he says. “I’m . . . better, but not fully recovered. I’ve been given strict instructions that I'm not to lift heavy objects or do anything more than relax for at least another week. I’d be much obliged - if it’s not too much trouble on top of your own duties, of course - if you could carry on seeing to my . . . what did they call it?” Another small, secret smile. “Ah yes. My little zoo.” 

“I-if you’re sure . . .” You say, surprised to find when you say it aloud that you’re relieved. You truly have gotten attached to all of the animals, even in this short time. 

Mimi butts your leg, impatient for her food, her huge paw petulantly tapping upon the floor. Jing Yuan laughs again, and you feel your stomach clench at the warm sound as it fills the room. 

“Oh, she likes you,” he says, in delight. “I’ve never seen her be so patient with anyone but myself, you know.”

“She’s been friendly since I met her,” you reply, reaching down to scratch her behind her ears and to place the buckets somewhere she won’t make such a mess (though she’s actually a fairly fastidious eater, for someone with no thumbs; you suppose she’s so proud of her lovely white coat that she doesn’t want to risk staining it).

Jing Yuan hums in consideration, his smile not leaving his face, as he watches you pet Mimi and her affectionate head bump before she dives back into her food. As you move into the other sitting room - the one that the finches reside in - you hear more rustling, and as you gather the birdseed you’re surprised to see that Jing Yuan is following you, sloping afterwards determinedly. There’s a definite tilt to his walk - the walk of a man who’s been in bed for a week - and you can’t help but say something.

“Sh-should you be out of bed, General?” You wince at the slight admonishment in your tone, fearing he will think you’re scolding him - but Jing Yuan simply smiles. 

“I need to check on my sweet little charges,” he says. “Come now. I’ve been in bed for days. Let me wander about my own rooms without worrying your pretty head too much about it, alright?”

It takes all of your grace not to turn into a pathetic, embarrassed mess at the easy way he says ‘your pretty head’ - somehow, you manage to keep your composure, keep some measure of poise, even as inside you feel yourself turn to mush. 

He sits down upon a chaise by the birdcages as you reach in to fill the small bowls and scatter the feed, his eyes not leaving you for a second. He smiles when he sees a finch or two hop upon your hand to peck at the seeds and bits left in the crevices of your palm. 

“A true animal whisperer,” he says, watching one of the more inquisitive finches hop up to your wrist and your forearm to tug teasingly at your elbow-length sleeves. “They’re not too fond of strangers, either.”

“I have been feeding them for a week, Sir,” you say to him, with a smile at the finch as you urge it off of your arm and back to the rest of its friends. “They’ve gotten used to me.”

He shakes his head, his hair falling about his shoulders, and you’re struck with the thought that he and Mimi even look similar. You’ve heard the old adage about how pet owners and their pets grow to look the same, of course, but you’d never realised quite how true it was until that moment and the sight of Jing Yuan doing a motion you’ve grown used to Mimi doing. 

He follows, too, as you take food and water onto the balcony. As cats wind around first your ankles, and then his - as dogs wag their tails and lick at your hands. 

“If I were a jealous man . . .” He says, laughing. “They must see something truly special in you.”

“Me?” You ask, aiming for a tinkly laugh but landing on ‘incredulous’. “No, they’re just sweet creatures. All of them are.”

He’s unerringly patient with the animals; his big hands tender as they scratch ears and tickle chins. Seeing the great General being so delicate makes your heart turn over in your chest; his big, scarred hands in direct opposition to the delicate bones and the soft fluff of all of the creatures that mass here. 

“Don’t be so modest,” Jing Yuan says quietly in reply. “I’ve known some of these animals for years. If they didn’t think you were something special . . .” 

Your cheeks are hot again. Somehow, in the course of this conversation, Jing Yuan has gotten closer and closer to you. Out here on the balcony, under the warm false sun of the Luofu, there’s nowhere for Jing Yuan to sit and watch - so he’s stood close to you. Close enough that you can see the warm gold amber of his gaze, the fan of his lashes, the mole high up beneath his eye. You swallow, and the sound is almost indecently loud even with the background mewls and barks and purrs. 

“I’m glad that they found someone so able to do this for me,” he says, his voice still quiet. That single word, those single two syllables, somehow manage to be imbued with more meaning than you’d ever imagined they could be. “I’ll be looking forward to seeing you.”

“Just until you’re feeling a bit better,” you reply, cheeks still hot, throat still sore, heart still beating far too fast in your chest. You wonder what Jing Yuan is thinking as he looks down at you - if he has noticed your anxiety, the way that he seems to set you all aflutter. You hope he thinks it is merely because he is your superior, and not because it’s so very hard not to dwell on his looks and his warm voice and the surprisingly different persona that he shows when he’s doing this--

Jing Yuan is still smiling at you, from back on the sofa covered in his blankets with Mimi spread out protectively over his feet, as you foolishly wave goodbye and leave his chambers. 

You get to witness Jing Yuan’s recovery firsthand. The first few days, he is still unsure of his own limbs; he still slowly lopes around the rooms. Once or twice, you come in to feed the animals and he stays wrapped within his blankets, Mimi only leaving his side to demand some cuddles and some meat from you. 

Despite his illness, though, he always has time to talk to you. He always asks you how you are feeling, what you have been doing; he teases you for how the animals seem to recognise you just as well as him now. When one of the finches pecks at your cheek, he chuckles and says;

“Ah, wouldn’t we all like to give our little bird a kiss like that?”

You don’t know how to respond to that, ducking your head, muttering something unintelligible that wins another of his laughs. His words err on the edge of being flirtatious. Once or twice he compliments your outfit, your hair - how lovely you look today. You never know how to react to such things; you force yourself not to dwell on them, reminding yourself of Jing Yuan’s own looks and his position and trying to tell yourself not to get attached and that the General is merely trying to be polite. 

One afternoon, he asks you to sit with him and have tea. 

It would be rude of you to say no; not when he has placed two teacups before him, anticipating your acceptance, a plate of sweet treats in an amount that would be gluttonous even for him arranged with the tea service. So you try and gracefully position yourself across from him. You try and remember your manners as you take the cup by the handle, as you choose the least ornamented and sugary of the delicacies on offer--

(It’s hard not to remember being told not to indulge at all. You feel conscious of eating in front of him--)

“Have this one,” Jing Yuan says, as if he can read your mind, and he pushes towards you an intricately decorated little cake resplendent with sugar roses and ruffles. “It’s one of my favourites.”

Your mouth waters. You give him an embarrassed smile as he encourages you further, reaching over to pick it up himself and place it upon your plate instead of merely pushing it.

“Really?” You ask, trying to pick it up neatly. “It’s a bit more delicate than I thought you’d like. I suppose I imagined you liking things a little rougher--”

Your face goes hot as you realise what you just said, but Jing Yuan ignores the innuendo and simply smiles at you. 

“Ah,” he says. “I like things that are . . . delicate. Smaller than me. So lovely to observe and enjoy, don’t you think?” His gaze doesn’t leave your face. You have never considered yourself delicate - the curves that you display have put an end to that - but under his eyes, you can’t help but think of the breadth of his shoulders and his height and think how a man like him could make even you feel small and breakable. “What do you think?”

The little cake is sweet on the tongue, flavoured with a hint of something you can’t quite name. Your eyes widen in surprise. 

“It’s wonderful,” you tell him, swallowing the bite and enjoying how the taste lingers. “Truly.”

“I’m so glad you enjoyed it,” he says - and then, he reaches over the table. “You have something--” 

You go stock-still, embarrassed and shocked at the intimacy of the gesture, as he uses his thumb to wipe a smudge of icing from the corner of your mouth. He keeps your gaze the whole time. It is something a lover does - it is not something you’d ever expected General Jing Yuan to do for you--

“There,” he says, returning to his cake as if nothing has happened. “It would be a terrible shame if I couldn’t see all of your lovely face, after all.” 

He is always saying things like this; off-the-cuff remarks that, if he were not the General of the Xianzhou Luofu, you would interpret as being flirty. He mentions them when you have tea together, when he ropes you into playing a game of star chess (“Don’t think I will go easy on you because you are nice to look at,” he says, as he places the counters into their starting positions), when he watches you and Mimi and you and the finches and tells you that he cannot decide which is cuter. 

You see him get gradually stronger and stronger. No more limping. He is almost always dressed, now. His hair no longer falls in shaggy waves about his face. His dark circles dissipate, his voice getting somehow even deeper and more velvety. 

The unspoken reality that soon, Jing Yuan will be well and you will no longer have to take on this extra duty hangs over your head.

You find that the idea makes you feel sick. You are not only enjoying caring for the animals, now, but you’ve also started to look forward to seeing the General. 

Well.

That’s not quite it.

You have to be honest with yourself, don’t you? 

You’ve developed a crush on him. 

You can’t imagine not seeing him. Not being greeted with Mimi’s butts and her batting paws; not hearing the pleased chirps of his finches whenever they see you. Not enjoying tea with him any more, simply existing in this lazy golden time when you do not have to think about work or his position above you or anything other than the four walls that surround you and the multiple hearts beating within it. 

Jing Yuan brings it up first.

“I’ve been thinking,” he says, coughing one day after the two of you have played a game of star chess that you were thoroughly destroyed during. “Well. I’m sure you’ve noticed that I’m getting better.”

“I’m glad to see it, Sir,” you say, forcing a smile to your face even as your heart falls into the region of your feet. “We were all very worried about you. Everyone is always asking me how you are and when you’ll be returning to work--”

His face clouds, a flinch so quick you almost miss it.

“Yes,” he says, a mournful tone to his voice. “I’ll soon be returning to work.”

You tell yourself sternly not to cry. This was never supposed to be permanent. 

“Then I suppose you won’t need me any longer,” you say, forcing a smile on your face. You are going to be gracious if it kills you.

“Ah,” Jing Yuan replies. “That’s what I’d like to talk to you about. I . . . we are all very fond of you, you see.” He motions to Mimi, who has come to curl beside you, her head laid against your knee. “I fear Mimi will riot if you were to stop bringing her all of those steaks, you understand. And who knows what she’d do, deprived of your song about her tummy?”

You squeak in embarrassment. Mimi lifts her head and gives you a slow, displeased look, much to Jing Yuan’s amusement. 

“Well. I’m very aware that it’s not part of your duties, and I’d be willing of course to pay you more for all of the trouble, but--” 

You see Jing Yuan falter for one of the first times; as if he is afraid that you are about to reject him outright. He coughs, trying to hide his anxiety, but it is an emotion you’re intimately familiar with and as such you recognise it for what it is. 

“We’re all so very fond of you,” he repeats. “Won’t you keep coming?”

You barely leave a breath before you’re happily agreeing. 

It’s not quite the same. 

You knew it wouldn’t be; you knew that you wouldn’t see Jing Yuan anywhere near as often, as he resumed all of the many duties that the Arbiter-General has to take on. Despite how unenthused he had seemed to be returning to his work, you knew that Jing Yuan took his responsibilities terribly seriously). 

Still.

You had thought you might see him more. Might still be able to drink a cup of tea with him, even if it could not be the same kind of slow, languid time the two of you had taken over it before. You’d thought that there’d still be time for a conversation or two. 

The reality is that you almost never see the General now. 

At work, your paths had crossed only rarely; now, hyper-aware of his presence, you realise that you see him almost never. Not at work, and not at his own home. 

You’re still excited to see the animals - for the finches to happily chirp at you as if they’re telling you about their day. One of them rides about on your shoulder, now, even when you go out to feed the strays. You’re still excited to tell Mimi what a good girl she is and rub her tummy and play with her (she’s inordinately fond of ribbons and the chasing thereof, like an overgrown housecat). 

But without Jing Yuan there . . .

There’s something missing. 

You still do your duties as well as you can - Jing Yuan has negotiated a hefty raise for you, all things considered - but you can’t help sometimes leaving his home feeling a little empty at the lack of seeing the General. You can’t help being disconsolate as you think about him - as you remember his flirty little asides, the way he’d looked at you across the room, the smile that played across his mouth whenever he did. You know he couldn’t really be interested in you, that he was probably like that with most people - but a secret little flame cannot help but burn in your heart even so. 

Days pass, quiet, lonely. You work, and feed the animals, and go home to your own empty quarters. You work, feed, go home, work, feed, go home--

Until one evening, when you’re just about to leave Jing Yuan’s chambers, when the door opens and the General appears. He looks a little red in the face; his breath comes in short little pants. You’ve never seen him so obviously flustered; usually, Jing Yuan fits perfectly up to his reputation as the Drowsy General. 

“Are you alright?” You ask him, rushing over. You’re touching him before you’ve thought through consequences; finger hovering over his pulse point, reaching up to feel his forehead to make sure he’s not running a temperature. Through the panting, he looks at you and smiles. 

“I’m afraid,” he says, still breathing heavily, his voice rasping. “I made up a little lie to be able to get back here on an errand that doesn’t really exist.”

“General,” you scold him. It’s not like him to shirk responsibilities. He laughs. 

“Yes, yes, I know, little thing-- but I had to see you. I wanted to see you again.”

You think he’s misspoken.

“I have to get back,” he says, and he reaches down - his hands upon your cheek again. You don’t know how to reply, what to say, what is going on. All you know is that you are there, and Jing Yuan is there, and something is happening. Fizzing on the air is a promise that something is going to change. “But . . . I couldn’t-- I needed to finally--”

Jing Yuan kisses you. 

It’s a kiss as messy and rushed as he is right now. A kiss that says that he has to hurry back, despite how much he doesn’t want to. You, unused to being kissed and even more unused to being kissed by handsome military leaders who feel a hundred times out of your league, do not kiss him back. He’s messy and wet, and his teeth clash against your lips as you stand there, feeling foolish and wrong-footed.

He realises you’re not kissing him back, and he stops - he draws back, his eyebrows furrowed. He opens his mouth to speak. 

He’s going to say it was a mistake, you realise. He’s going to say he thought you were someone else, that he was carried away in the heat of the moment. You and Jing Yuan? No. It couldn’t be. It’s absurd, it’s silly, nobody could ever believe it - and yet.

And yet.

Your heart couldn’t take his rejection.

“I’m sorry,” you blurt out - and you push past him and out of the door and back towards the comforting ordinary normality of your own empty rooms. 

Despite your embarrassment, fear and all of those other emotions keeping you up all night, when you wake up the next morning you know that things will be worse the more you put them off. So you get dressed for work and you thank Lan that, when you walk into the Seat of Divine Foresight, Jing Yuan is nowhere to be seen. 

You hope he is hard at work, far away from you. You cannot quite face him yet. You haven’t properly said goodbye to your foolish dreams. 

You can’t shirk your other duties either, so at the ordinary time you stand up from your desk (you’ve somehow been saddled with the job of reviewing paperwork for grammar inconsistencies. You feel certain there ought to be software of some sort that does this job for you, but it had been laid here on your desk when you’d gotten to it and you were not in the habit of arguing about your duties), and you head to the designated supplier of raw meats for Mimi’s consumption.

“Oh,” says the supplier, the evening after Jing Yuan had finagled a way to see you. “He told me to let you know to go straight up today.” 

You frown, not quite sure why; you hope Mimi is alright. It feels strange to be going towards Jing Yuan’s home without your arms weighed down with buckets of meat, but you push forward even so. You hope last night - the awkward kiss, the way he had looked at you - does not sour things between the two of you. You hope that he isn’t about to tell you to never come back. Your heart makes a new home, somewhere in the vicinity of your throat, as you hesitantly knock upon his door.

A beat passes. Your mind helpfully provides you with all of the ways in which Jing Yuan could be about to fire you - or worse, let you down gently and admit that he had a moment of weakness. In that moment, you suddenly seem so much more aware than before of yourself - of the unfashionable curves, of the amount of space you take up, of how a man like Jing Yuan could surely not have really wanted to kiss someone like you - and then, he has opened the door and he is smiling at you and he doesn’t look angry.

Instead, upon seeing you there, a smile passes across his face; tugs at the corners of his lips, crinkles the corners of his eyes.

“I was afraid you wouldn’t come,” he says to you - and he reaches across the threshold and his hand brushes your cheek, as soft and tender with you as he is with his finches. “I’m sorry if I frightened you last night.”

“I’m sorry I ran,” tumbles out of your mouth. “I just . . . I didn’t think you-- and somebody like me-- and I was afraid--”

He lays a finger over your lips, still smiling. 

“It’s alright,” he says, in that low, smooth voice. “I’m sorry if I caused you undue trouble, little bird.” The pet name falls from his lips as easily as any other trifle, though it makes you feel hot and aware of yourself and flattered all at once. “Please come in.”

He takes your hand to gently urge you across the threshold, his touch still feather light. You think, as he does it, of all of the other things those hands have done; all of the battles they have waged, all of the strength that must be contained within them despite how gentle his touch is now. 

“I’ve asked someone else to take care of the animals,” he says to you, not letting go of your hand as he leads you through the front room. You realise with a start exactly where he is taking you as he approaches a door you have never had reason to open before. He looks at you, eyes keen and golden. “I wanted us to be alone. I would hope, little bird, if you do not want this . . .” 

“I do,” tumbles from your mouth. It is nothing but the honest truth. You let the crush that you’ve been trying to deny, the fear of Jing Yuan not liking you or finding you attractive, the anxieties of not being good enough, all wash over you, in favour of the beating of your heart and the feel of his hand on your face and the sight of his hand upon the doorknob of his bedroom. 

He turns fully so he stands before you. Hands come up, cradling your face; thumbs brushing the plump apples of your cheek, fingertips upon the soft flesh. He is smiling still, even as he dips his head lower, so low you can see the multitudes of swirling shades of gold in his eyes. 

“Promise me,” he murmurs, low and soft. “Tell me you want me the way I want you. No expectations, little one. Your career, your position, your everything - nothing will change if you do not want me as badly as I desire you. Honesty.” You realise a tear has escaped from the corner of your eye. You have never felt so . . . seen. So very much wanted. So sure of anything in your life. He wipes that tear with his thumb, tilting your face closer to him so that if you just angled your head differently you could kiss him. “Promise me.” 

“I promise,” you whisper, and Jing Yuan’s lips meet yours. 

This kiss is entirely unlike the one from yesterday; this kiss is slow, luxurious. Jing Yuan starts off gentle with you, his hand still cupping your jaw - his lips moving against yours in slow, indolent waves. He nips at your bottom lip with his teeth and wins a gasp from you, a hitch of your breath, as your own hands come up to rest lightly upon his chest. You feel his mouth curve into a smile against your own. 

“You’re adorable,” he rumbles, pulling back just enough that you can still feel his breath on your face. “Truly - you don’t know how long I’ve wanted to do this to you.”

“I--” You helplessly stare up at him. You can barely believe this is happening, as he pushes open the door to his most private of domains. “Really?”

He laughs again, gently taking your arm and urging you into the room. You are helpless to do anything but follow him - to let him slowly, slowly, slowly pull you beside him and onto his bed. 

“You really have no idea how . . . desirable you are?” He asks, voice low and husky, humming with want. His hand skims over your cheek, the nape of your neck, following the line of your jaw and your throat to linger over your collarbone. His eyes follow the path his fingers take, not moving from your form for an instant. “You really didn’t notice me staring at you, little bird?” He leans in, close enough for his breath to tickle your ear. His lips brush over the pulse point in your neck, making you squeak in surprise again even as it sends a bolt of heat to the space between your legs. “Imagining what you would feel like under my hands? Imagining what you would look like, divested of that maddeningly conservative uniform they make you wear?” Another kiss, this one with a hint of teeth. You realise with a hot flush of embarrassment mixed with want you have cried out at the sensation of the almost-bite. “Imagining how you would react to every touch I gave you?” 

“Sir,” you pant, dazed and amazed and hot and needy. “I-- I thought about you, too--”

“Oh,” he murmurs, as his big fingers slide over your body, feeling the ample shape of you through that same conservative uniform. His big palms brush the soft chub of your upper arms, the meat of your chest, the shape of your waist and over the curve of your hips, basely appreciating your body even beneath the fabric. “I’m sure they were no match for the utterly filthy things I imagined doing to you.” 

His thumb digs into the indent of your waist, tugging you closer to him so that you’re pressed tighter against his body. He smiles down at you, every inch the conquering general, and your heart beats in time with the pounding between your legs. He looks at you like he wants to devour you. Wanting and hungry and lustful, like you’re the most delicious thing he’s ever seen. It’s not a look you’re overly familiar with receiving - but oh, does it feel amazing to be on the receiving end of it from Jing Yuan. 

“Such a fragile thing,” he murmurs down to you, and you almost laugh, for you do not feel fragile - but Jing Yuan continues speaking, and you get lost in the dulcet tone of his voice. “So very mortal. So very ephemeral . . .” He sighs, dips his head and kisses you again, a flurry of pecks upon your lips as his thumb draws circles where it rests. “Will you let me make the most of having you, little bird? Let me show you how beautiful you are?” He smiles. “I have always had a weakness for delicate things.” 

He means it. 

Any time you have ever felt too big; ungainly, or ill-shaped - all of it falls to the wayside under the warm haze of being looked at and admired and wanted by Jing Yuan. You find yourself smiling up at him, aware you probably look as though there is not a thought in your head, but the General doesn’t seem to mind as he looks at you with hunger colouring his gaze. 

“May I undress you?” He asks, voice low and cajoling. His fingers tease beneath the neckline of your uniform, and it feels as though they leave a trail of fire everywhere they linger. You do not trust yourself to speak; you nod at him, your breath coming out in short little pants. He makes a soft noise of approval, before his fingers are working at buttons and fabric. Cool air hits your bare skin; your uniform is gently cajoled off of your body, tossed aside to be worried about later as Jing Yuan’s hungry eyes drink in every new inch of your exposed skin. 

He does not stop praising you as he does it.

“Look at you,” he murmurs, as your top half is bared, as his eyes roam over your chest and his hands come up and squeeze the generous curve of them, palms rough against delicate skin. You shiver as his thumbs find your nipples, as they rub over them again and again until the buds stiffen beneath his touch and a soft whine escapes the back of your throat. “You’re beautiful.”

His tone is nothing if not worshipful. By slow, luxurious degrees, Jing Yuan helps divest you of your garments. As your underwear and bottoms are rolled down, as fabric bunches at thighs and knees, he does not stop murmuring sweet nothings about how soft you are, how beautiful, how lucky he is to be able to see you like this. 

About how he has been thinking about having you like this since the moment he saw you. 

“You looked so beautiful then too,” he murmurs, as your underwear is pulled from your ankles. He briefly gazes at it, the gusset saturated with your slick, and he smiles. “Ah . . . that little song, the nervous, shy reaction to realising I was there - the sight of you all soft-eyed and adoring with Mimi . . . I’ve never wanted to have my wicked way with somebody quite so much.” 

You’re bare beneath him, Jing Yuan slowly urging you to lay down upon the coverlets of his large bed. You suppose that it’s so large so that if Mimi desires to sleep with him, she can, but it alongside Jing Yuan’s own size simply helps you feel small and delicate and breakable in a way you never have before. 

“I wanted to know,” Jing Yuan murmurs, leaning down and brushing his lips over yours, teasing and feather-light. “If you would be quite so adorable, squirming and nervous and vulnerable, if I were to have you like this.”

Your cheeks are hot. Jing Yuan has not lost a single garment of his own, but you are entirely unguarded to whatever he wants to do to you now - bare of every scrap of fabric. His gaze lingering on your body almost makes you want to draw in; to curl around the exposed flesh of your stomach, to cover the pudge. 

Jing Yuan notices something in the way you hold yourself. He smiles down at you and cups your cheek.

“Don’t hide,” he breathes. “I want to see all of you, little thing. I want you to know how beautiful I find you.”

“I--”

He takes your hand in his, shifting so he is on his knees between your legs. Gently, he guides your unsure hand to the space over his own crotch. Even through the layers of fabric, you can sense the heat of him; the stiffness pushing against his trousers.

“If I did not want you,” he says, “why would you make me so needy, hmm? Feel what you do to me.” He presses your hand a little harder against it, a soft hiss of breath escaping him, encouraging you to not simply take his word for it. Your face hot as ever, you do so; give a gentle squeeze that makes him groan. “Ah-- be careful, sweet thing. I want to take my time over you.”

He lets go of your hand, gently urging you to place it back beside you. Your fingers find purchase in his sheets. You still cannot quite believe where you are; that it’s the great Arbiter-General leaning over you, looking down at you like you’re the most beautiful thing that he’s ever seen. 

“I-it’s not fair,” you say to him, your voice dry. “I’ve lost all of my clothes, and you’re still fully dressed--”

He chuckles. This time, when he bends down, there’s a slow, deliberate quality about him. He kisses your neck again; trails wet butterfly kisses over your collarbones, lower and lower to the swell of your chest. His hands come to cup the generous weight of them, even as his mouth floats closer and closer to your nipples, tightening and stiffening in anticipation. 

“I told you,” he says, murmuring in between flicks of his tongue against the buds. “I want to take my time over you.” He looks at you, eyes half-lidded. “Ah, you short-life species . . . You never learn patience. I have all of the time in the world to give you ecstasy over and over--”

People call Jing Yuan the Dozing General. As he applies his tongue to your nipples, though - as he suckles and nips and bites, as he kisses and squeezes until you feel dizzy with the attention he’s lavishing upon you, you realise that they are misinformed. Jing Yuan is not lazy or dozing - Jing Yuan merely likes to take his time over things. 

And oh, is he enjoying taking his time over you. 

You whine under his touch. You whimper and squirm, your cheeks flooding hot, your entire body prickling with tension and pleasure as his attentions upon your nipples send shockwaves of pleasure down to your sex. You feel wetness fair seeping out of you; slick rolling down your thighs, making a mess of Jing Yuan’s bed sheets. 

“Please,” you manage to get out, dry-voiced and wanting, after what seems like an eternity. “Please, Sir--”

“Jing Yuan,” He corrects you, a smile on his face as he continues to trail wet kisses over your bare skin. “What kind of man would I be if I allowed you to call me ‘Sir’ buried knuckle-deep in you, sweet thing? We are on even ground here.”

It’s hard not to think of him as the General. You are currently barely able to string a thought together, and he hasn’t even touched the place between your thighs yet. Still - you need him to touch you somewhere else. You need his attentions to give your chest a break (your nipples are sore, stiffened points - your skin slick with the wetness of his licks and kisses) and move to somewhere else. You force out, through your desire to genuflect to his status, his given name.

“Jing Yuan--”

“Hmm?” He asks, raising his head. His lips are swollen and pink, his eyes amused. “Do you need something, little bird?”

“Please . . .” A soft exhale, trying to work through the mass of sensations and needs that your body seems to have become. Jing Yuan does not stop touching even as you try and get out your words; still gently squeezing and toying with the weight of your chests. He’s smiling, enjoying watching you desperately work through the haze of your desire. 

“Your words,” he says, a maddening smile pulling at his lips. “Tell me what you want, and I promise I’ll do all in my power to give you it.”

“Please,” you say again, your brain fuzzy. His hands move from your chest now; big palms travelling over the curve of your stomach, your hips, resting there in a way that makes you almost lose all of your senses. “I want you to touch me . . . there--”

“Where, little thing?” He’s still smiling. “Here?” A gentle squeeze to your hips. “Here?” His palm roves over your stomach, the soft pouch just above your mound. You whimper again. “Ah. Come now--”

“Between my legs,” you whisper, voice tight and breaking with desire. “Jing Yuan, please--”

“Ah,” he laughs, dips down and kisses you once on the mouth. “You need only to ask. Spread your thighs for me, lovely thing.”

You do, utterly helplessly. Jing Yuan sighs reverently, moving further down so that he can bend his head to look at you. Your face burns under his scrutiny, fearful that he will find something lacking in your body even as his eyes greedily drink you in like you are the finest wine. He breathes deeply, and you hope that your scent is not off-putting - and then, his fingers are sliding slowly and surely up the soft plush of your legs and closer and closer to the space between your thighs and your heart is beating too fast and your breath is coming in short pants.

“Calm down,” he murmurs, and you keen as his hands reach your sex; as he uses his thumbs to spread the plump lips of your labia apart and the cool air hits your slick, heated core. “Ah, darling . . .”

There is so much in those two syllables. Hunger and desire and adoration, all mixed together as one. In another world, with another person, it might have made you feel self-conscious; but Jing Yuan looks down at you as if you are the most beautiful treasure he has ever had the good fortune to witness. 

He leans down, down - and you squeak as you realise what he’s about to do, surprised, but it does not deter him at all as he lets his tongue take a slow, luxurious lick down your sex. The base of his tongue presses against your clit, the pressure on the swollen hitherto ignored nub almost enough to make you come right there and then - but then he pulls back again, chuckling.

“Mm,” he says. “If I allow myself to sample too much of something so sweet, I’m afraid I’ll lose my composure.” He moves his hand instead; lets his fingers explore the length of you, fingertips brushing against your clenching entrance and dancing about your swollen clit. There is little pressure exerted on your sex; merely Jing Yuan’s slow, considering explorations. You clench your own fingers into the bedsheets in order to stop yourself writhing. 

“Lovely,” Jing Yuan says to himself. “Ah, you feel like velvet. Such a pretty thing; so perfectly made . . .” He sighs, even as the tip of his longest finger nudges against your entrance. Your hips move of their own accord, trying to suck him in and get him to put his finger inside of you, but he clicks his tongue with an amused chide; “Impatient,” he says. “Ah. You’re lucky you’re so irresistible--”

He slides his finger inside of you, slowly but certainly. You sigh, your lashes fluttering closed - his touch stokes all of those fires inside of you, of course, burning to fever pitch . . . but the sensation of finally having something inside of you has also made you realise how empty you felt before. It feels good, to have something to fill that pulsing space. Jing Yuan watches with rapt attention as he slides his finger half out, and then half inside of you again. 

You have had some experience, but you have never felt the way Jing Yuan makes you feel. 

“You take it so well,” he murmurs. “Look how pretty you look with something inside of you. Ah. I could spend hours doing this to you . . .”

You make a soft whine of discontent at the idea and he laughs, clicking his tongue even as he’s letting his second finger dance at your entrance ready to join the first. 

“No, even I do not have the patience for that right now,” he agrees. “Not when you feel so wonderful, little bird. Not when I cannot wait to see you come apart.”

The second finger; a slight scissoring motion as it enters you, getting you used to the size and stretch of two of his digits instead of one. The heel of his palm presses against your clit with every wet pump, sending frissons of pleasure to the tips of your toes; but he still does not rush himself. He still lets himself enjoy the feel of you clinging tightly to his fingers, the sight of them disappearing inside of your slick, drooling hole. 

“Does that feel good?” He asks you, deciding you haven’t spoken recently enough. “Tell me if you want me to go faster, sweet thing--”

“Please,” you say, ragged, breathing heavy. You can feel a tight hot ball of tension between your legs, rolling in your gut, threatening to overwhelm you. “Please, Jing Yuan, faster--”

“Very well,” he smiles, and he crooks his fingers inside of you to find your g-spot - causing your back to arch involuntarily, a whine of pure enjoyment to loose itself from your throat. At the same time, his thumb moves to play with your clit - to toy with the bud, to roll and to circle and to press against the swollen bundle of nerves. What already felt like electric shocks of pleasure move on; instead, they are lightning bolts, ricocheting up your spine and stopping just short of striking earth. 

“You’re close,” Jing Yuan says, and you are staring at his mouth. How a strand of your own gossamer-thin arousal is still glimmering at the corner. How his eyes are so focused on you that his gaze feels almost scorching. “That’s right. Let go for me, sweet thing--”

His soft entreaty pushes you over the edge, and the lightning strikes home as your peak hits you with all of the force of a storm.

His fingers work you over the crest of your orgasm, the two inside of you constantly rubbing against that spongy spot that makes you see stars, the big pad of his thumb roughly sliding over your twitching clit in circles and lines. As the waves come to a head and then slowly begin to dissipate, he slows his attentions too - until the slow strokes of his fingers fade out into nothing. He does not seem to care that you’ve soaked his fingers and his palm and the fabric he wears and his bed too - merely keeps looking at you, smiling, like you’re giving him the most precious gift imaginable. 

“Good,” he praises you. “But . . . I’m afraid that just that taste from earlier wasn’t quite enough, little bird. May I use my mouth on you?”

Who would ever believe this? Who would ever imagine little old you, on the Arbiter-General’s bed, as he looks at you and waits for your permission to fuck you with his tongue? You feel rather tongue-tied yourself - but you recall what Jing Yuan said earlier, about using your words.

“Please do,” you say, aloud, and Jing Yuan gives you that same smile that makes you feel like the only being in the whole universe.

“Thank you,” he says, sounding entirely like he means it - like it’s truly an honour for him to be able to serve you on his hands and knees. And then he has moved his body further down the bed, elegant and graceful and leonine, and his mouth is heading towards the slick-soaked place between your legs and his tongue is glinting wet in the bedroom and then he is on you, licking at you, hungrily devouring your sex like it is his last meal before an execution. 

You’re still oversensitive from his earlier attentions, and the sensation of the wet muscle of his tongue working over you almost pushed you into another early orgasm. Your fingers move from where they’re still clenched into the bedsheets to cling to his hair instead, pulling on the silvery pale strands as your back arches and you blindly cant your hips forward towards his mouth.

He groans aloud at having his hair pulled, and the groan sends vibrations all through your body that make you feel weak at the knees, your toes curling. His tongue continues its assault; back and forth, back and forth. Wetness drools from your sex and onto his face; you can feel the heat in his cheeks, the fan of his lashes against your bare skin. 

He twirls his tongue about your entrance, teasingly dips into it, as the channel of your sex constricts and pulses in an attempt to pull him even further in. He groans as your hands knit further into his hair, fucking you for a moment with his tongue before he seems to try and work his face further into your sex. 

It’s like he wants to engulf you; soft noises of pleasure keep falling from his mouth, interspersed with rumbling groans. He’s almost gyrating against the bed, you realise, your cheeks hot - grinding his crotch into the mattress as if he’s desperate to have some attention of his own. 

That sight makes your mouth go dry; all of the moisture in your body instead congregating between your legs to make a new home in Jing Yuan’s mouth and smeared across his cheeks. 

His tongue flicks across your clit and the noise that escapes you is almost animal; Jing Yuan says something, perhaps, or at least makes some kind of muffled noise from his position happily buried in your sex before he shifts his tongue just so and his mouth fastens around your clit fully. 

Sucking and licking, suckling upon the pearl like his life depends upon it; tongue occasionally just brushing under the hood, where you’re most engorged, and you can do nothing but cling onto his hair and pull at it as the most intense orgasm you’ve ever felt rips through your body.

You cannot put into words the way that you feel as Jing Yuan devours you. Your entire body feels, suddenly, as if it weighs nothing; as if sparkling lights suffuse your fingers and toes and you float into the stratosphere, white lights dancing behind your eyes in time with your whine (a whine so loud you’re sure everybody on the Luofu must have heard of it).

You come down, eventually, to the sound of Jing Yuan panting. The wet noise as his mouth separates from you, the pleased grin on his face as he uses his thumb to wipe his mouth of some of your slick. It’s a pointless endeavour, really; his face is so saturated with it you’re not sure if he’ll ever be dry again. 

“Darling,” Jing Yuan repeats, looking you in the eye, smiling like the cat who has gotten the cream. “You have no idea how much I enjoyed doing that.”

The words almost make you go over shy - but you push that to the side. There is no point, you decide, being nervous of a man who has now known you so intimately.

“In which case,” you say, breathlessly - your voice is still a little scratchy from the moaning and whimpering you’ve been doing - “Will you let me make you feel just as good?”

He looks at you for a moment, before he throws his head back and laughs.

“Why,” he says. “Of course I will.”

“Come,” Jing Yuan is murmuring, and he is finally removing his own clothes. Armour drops to the side of him, shirts unbuttoned and fastenings unhooked. His body is muscular and dotted with scars, befitting his status as a military hero; a light dusting of pale hair upon his proud chest, down into a trail to the vee of his hips. You swallow, your throat dry, trying to blink back the waves of pleasure that are still lapping gently at your shores in order to concentrate on what’s going on. His face is still wet with your slick, his hair damp with sweat and falling in messy strands over his flushed face. He looks well-fucked even without you touching him back, as if merely getting you to feel good was enough for him. 

His cock. It’s stiff against the hard planes of his abdomen, a thick, pretty specimen bubbling with precome at the flushed tip. He sighs, running his hand over it once, and your mouth practically waters at the way it twitches. It looks stiff and hard enough that you wonder if it hurts, to want so badly - but Jing Yuan looks at you and smiles, as he rearranges himself on the bed. Pillows are moved, and before you know it he has sat against them, propping himself up like an emperor upon his throne. His cock stands proud and wanting, and he gently pats his thigh as if he is calling an obedient animal to him.

“I don’t wish to hurt you, little bird,” he says - and again, you think of how it feels to be smaller than him. How he does not care about the flesh that spills from straps or curves over fabric. How he looks at you like the most beautiful thing in the world and calls you ‘delicate’ and ‘little’ and ‘precious’ and means them. “Come. Take a seat. As slowly as you need.” 

Despite how he has seen you so intimately, you cannot help but feel a little flare of fear as you approach him. He smiles, entirely at peace and at comfort with you going at your own pace, and you could kiss him for it.

“Touch,” he murmurs. “Don’t be afraid.”

With trembling fingers, you reach out; let your hand encircle his cock, get used to the width and the feel of him and imagine it inside of you. He pulses beneath your palm, a soft hum of pleasure falling from the back of his throat as you give it a cursory pump. He curses softly as your thumb rubs across the slit of his cockhead, the bubble of precome wetting the pad.

“Touch,” he says, with a smile. “But don’t get me too excited, little bird. I don’t want to come anywhere but inside of you.”

Your cheeks go hot at his easy profession; your tongue darts out to trace your lower lip. You’re used to the feel of him now; the heat that seems to stir beneath the surface of his cock, the veins that marble the side of his shaft, the ruddy pink of the head. Taking a deep breath, you spread your legs and let yourself readjust, straddling him. His own hands come up to cling to your thighs, sinking into the soft flesh there.

“You’re so soft,” he murmurs, as if in devotion, as if praying to an Aeon. “You’re beautiful.” 

His cockhead brushes your clit as you fit it snugly between the lips of your sex; you shift your hips, until it catches against your entrance and your eyes flutter closed. 

Your eyes are still closed as you begin to lower yourself down, so you feel every inch of him as he makes his home within your body. Your eyes being closed, of course, you miss the softness and the warmth that fills Jing Yuan’s gaze as he looks at you. The brief moment of sadness that passes behind his eyes as he remembers that you are a short-life species; that he cannot have all of the time in the world with you, to teach you pleasures the likes of which you do not yet know. The sadness he cannot spend his lifetime learning you by heart--

But you hear the soft murmur of your name, as he bottoms out inside of you and you take a moment to simply rest there with him buried as deep inside of you as he can go. You feel the way one of his hands slides up your spine to grip the back of your head and to pull you into a kiss as deep and adoring as anything else he’s done so far. 

Teeth and tongue and lips, whimpering and gasping into one another’s mouths until you do not know where he ends and where you begin, Jing Yuan somehow manages to murmur;

“Move whenever you want, sweet thing. Set the pace.” 

It does not, in the end, feel like either of those things happen. Instead, it feels as though the universe sets the pace for you; as if you simply know when to begin to move your hips, how to bend and angle yourself just so in order for Jing Yuan to hit all of the most sensitive spots inside of you.

One hand remains on your hip, helping you with the pace - the other remains on the back of your head, to allow him to kiss, as if he doesn’t want to let his mouth separate from yours for any longer than necessary. It’s a romance that you didn’t expect of the General, but it’s hardly one you’re going to complain about when his mouth feels so good and the constant nibbling of your lip and curl of his tongue against yours is distracting you from the mounting pleasure already starting to coalesce inside of you. 

There is nothing in the world for a while except Jing Yuan’s body underneath yours. His hands, his mouth, the feel of his shoulders beneath your own palms where you cling to him for leverage. You sweat and breathe and kiss and fuck as one, until the call inside of you becomes too much to ignore.

“I’m--” You pull back from the kiss to whisper, voice hoarse. “I’m going to--”

“Shh,” Jing Yuan says, kissing again. His own voice climbs in pitch, and you hear a shiver and a shudder in his syllables that makes you aware that he, too, is not far from his own release. His teeth nip at your lower lip as he half-begs into your mouth. “Please. Come again for me, sweet thing, little bird, pretty-- let me feel you--”

Your third orgasm crashes over you, your sex spasming around his cock, tight and hot and pulsing - and Jing Yuan groans into your mouth as you push him over the edge too, and you feel his cock spasm in turn. Ropes of hot release shoot inside of you; you had thought, earlier, that having his cock buried all the way inside of you was the extent of how full you could feel. 

You were wrong.

You bite at his lips, whining and half-sobbing, as the please encompasses you like a cloak of warmth. Jing Yuan groans in return, his hips making needy fast circles to chase the dregs of his own release. It feels right, for the two of you to peak together like this. For the two of you to chase every last drop of pleasure, entwined together and sweating and kissing and as close to one being as it’s possible to be.

Eventually, your breathing slows. Eventually, the kiss turns tender instead of frenzied. Eventually, you pull back from Jing Yuan with a foolish smile on your face and your cheeks hot and tears of pleasure (that you hadn’t even realised you had cried) rolling down your face like sparkling diamonds.

You stare at each other, the enormity of what has happened washing over you. Jing Yuan’s face is calm and serene, but his eyes are bright still, his cheeks still high in colour. 

You fear for a moment that he is about to dismiss you; that what the two of you just shared will mean nothing now that it is over. You fear that you’re about to go back to what you were before; a colleague and an employer, a General and a subordinate. But then, Jing Yuan lets out a deep rumbling sigh, pleased, as he collapses back upon the pillows. He opens his arms for you to dismount, his cock sliding slippery and wet outside of you, his come trickling down your thighs.

“Come here,” he murmurs, sounding tired but terribly pleased; the cat who has gotten the cream. He’s like a lion once more. You are helpless to resist his indication that he wants to cuddle, and so you let him pull you into his arms, let him manoeuvre you to lay against his chest until you can hear his heart beating. His fingers stroke your head, like you’re a sweet-tempered animal yourself. “Mmm. Rest with me, little bird.”

You let yourself. Your body is aching and sore from the orgasms and the sex, and you let your eyes drift closed, lulled by the comforting rhythm of his breathing. 

A sleepy kiss is dropped onto the crown of your head.

“Enjoy it whilst you can,” Jing Yuan hums. “Before we start having to make room for Mimi every night.”

[timmie-p]

april fools post translation 👍 * indicates i have notes on the translation if you want to read below

Hyun Woo —> He stopped acting in his childhood but is currently working on ALNST as a lighting crew member. Worries about his dull, slow sister

Hyuna —> The last and youngest of the ALNST cast to debut! Her real personality is gentle and innocent

Mizi —> Fan favourite among the actors. Shy personality and very nervous about her first leading role

Sua —> The feisty actress is popular among her co-stars, thanks to her nonchalant friendliness

Sua: Great job on the shoot today. I’m sure Director Kim was only speaking so harshly because he was worried about your safety, so don’t take it personally.

Mizi: Yeah.. ((It’s sunbae!!! What should I do! What should I do!!))

Sfx: Thump thump thump [heartbeat sound]

Ivan and Luka are actors from a different agency. They’re also in an idol group together (for the record, Luka hates it)

Ivan —> Ivan loves kids and voluntarily takes care of them

Luka —> Luka is Ivan’s best friend, so he’s forced to babysit with him

Baby Till —> Baby Till for flashback scenes

Baby Mizi —> Baby Mizi for flashback scenes when the kids are older

Till —> Till, the youngest in the series, is actually the oldest in the cast and debuted with CF before he could even speak in a diaper commercial. Till has a strong “my pace”* persona. He just wants to quickly wrap up the shoot and go home. His dark circles are from overwork, not make-up.

Others —> Three people who want to approach their mysterious** senior but can’t

Ivan: ((Lamenting over delays..?))

Mizi: Want me to talk to him?

Luka: Yeah

Till: ((I want to go home))

Sfx: Spacing out~

*according to namu wiki, either someone who’s strongly independent and doesn’t care what others think or someone who’s always chill

**according to namu wiki, the adjective translates to a famous person who deliberately keeps their private life secret. i just went with mysterious bc it directly translates to “mystic”

i didn’t choose to translate sunbae in Mizi’s thoughts because it sounds weird and most of you probably know what it means anyway

lol it looks like everyone’s personalities were flipped. does that mean ivan actually hates kids? and till as the cool mysterious senior everyone is scared to talk to vs hyuna as no thoughts head empty is kinda funny. i have a feeling ivan and luka are shipped together a lot by fans in this au.. the woes of being besties. also mizisua is always canon 🙏 theyre so yuri

[mysticheathenn]

Messages From Your Mental Prison

Hi, Hexlings!

This pick-a-card reading is about your mental health and the state of how you view the world and everything that is going on in your life. This could be about your depression, Anxiety, or even suicidal thoughts. Read with caution as this reading may have triggers.

This is a general reading, remember to take what resonates and leave what does not. This reading does not supplement your need to seek professional help. Tarot should be used as entertainment and not a for sure answer to your problems but as a guide, a sense of hope, and amusement.

Take your time when choosing your pile. Ask yourself the question and choose the picture that you can’t stop looking at. Listen to your intuition.

MasterList

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TW Ahead Read With Caution

Pile l:

Messages From Your Mental Prison. Tarot: 8 of Pentacles (Reversed), 9 of Swords, 4 of Swords (reversed), 10 of Cups (reversed), Justice

This reminds me of the TikTok clip of the voice screaming "It's not fair. It's not fair." reminding me of how many people have probably told you that you handle stress and everyday life so well but little do they know your mental state is literally one inconvenience away from having a mental breakdown. Stress and anxiety practically camp out in your mind on a daily basis pile l. You can't seem to escape it, it's all you have known for quite a while and you're tired. There is a saying that "There is no sleep for the wicked" Well in your case "There is no sleep for the poor or those who lack the resources to pull themselves up in their life." All you want in life is enough to pay your bills and a little extra for savings and be able to do something with your life like try a new hobby without feeling guilty for spending money that isn't on "important" things like survival. You probably have been in survival mode for quite some time now and wondering when will you see a breakthrough. You're tired of being tired. You're tired of practically playing Russian roulette with your bills of which one can you not pay for this month. One thing I will say pile l is even though things may seem bleak please don't give up, I sense things will get better financially for you. Sometimes in life you just need to find your footing for things to take off.

Extra Messages: Tea Tree Leaf Oracle: Seek out information that will help you out, A Journey either physical or mental, unsettled times. Need to plan ahead, Announcement, Get back to the basics.

Pile l your extra message oracles make me believe that you feel lost, maybe even stuck for some of you with no clue in the world of how to better your situation or go about life. You have the get back to the basics card which sticks out to me like a sore thumb letting the game know that I sense you may be the type who always tries to do those get-rich-and-quick schemes like drop shipping or anything else you see that pops up on your social media feed and it never works out for whatever reason. You want to know why....it's because you aren't supposed to be doing that. That's not your path to riches. You have the 8 of Pentacles and 10 of Cups card but it's reversed meaning you are meant to have emotional and financial fulfillment you just need to stop and get back to the basics. What basics mystic? What is it that has been drawing or calling you in? What is something you keep putting off or not doing because you believe based on society and family it won't make you any money? For most of you, this is what you need to be doing. For others of you, you will be going on a journey where you need to find this out. Figure out what feeds your soul that you would do for free and do that but add tax. You are meant to freelance and be your own boss, not working for other people. Overall this is a journey process for you pile l. You will deal with more hard times as you figure this out but remember this journey is temporary to where you want to be, so keep pushing. An answer if it hasn't already will come to you.

Pile ll:

Messages From Your Mental Prison. Tarot: The Hermit, Page of Swords (reversed), Queen of Cups, 10 of Wands, 10 of Swords (reversed)

When was the last time you nurtured yourself or spent time alone and really tried to heal and nurture yourself with positive thoughts pile ll. It's a never-ending cycle of you constantly bombarding yourself with cruel words that aren't true. This reminds me slightly of the reading I posted titled Mystery pt. ll. But overall this feeling of yours feels more so as if the world has its weight on your shoulders and you feel as if you are a burden to those around you. You may live at home, with roommates, or feel that you constantly are asking anyone and everyone around you for help as if you can't do anything for yourself and you're tired. You're ready to be able to be independent without having to rely on others. Maybe others have made you feel bad as well for asking for help when you are down on your luck to where you just feel crushed, stuck, unable to move in a direction because one way people will make you feel bad for your predicament and the other hand you will make yourself feel bad because you feel whatever this is you should be able to do by yourself but can't because life is tough right now. As I mentioned in pile l you need to get back to the basics. Get back to the basics of life and take things one step at a time. You are doing the best you can with what you have and don't let anyone make you feel bad about that.

Extra Messages: Tea Tree Leaf Oracle: Position of authority, August, Someone you know is undependable and insincere, Slowly but surely getting ahead. Pay attention to your work, Good Fortune.

As mentioned your life while it maybe chaotic at the moment everything is a journey and slowly but surely things will get better and you will get ahead eventually. With the Position of authority I am seeing this in two ways some of you should pay attention to your work as there may be a position available for you in management where you can make more money this may happen around or sometime in August. If not within the company you work maybe this is an invitation to be your own boss or look elsewhere for higher positions especially if you have more than enough qualifications. For others of you, this position of authority is letting you know that you are the boss of your own life and have complete control of what goes on and who is in it. Never let people who claim to be friends or family make you feel bad for being on hard times. They aren't who they say they are and you should move accordingly with that information. Overall Good Fortune is in your cards by the end of this rough patch. You just need to focus and hone in on ways you can do more within your life with the resources of which you have. Again this could be moving up in the company or going elsewhere, where advancement is an option.

Pile lll:

Messages From Your Mental Prison. Tarot: The Star, The Sun, Ace of Pentacles (reversed), The Fool (reversed), Awakening

Pile lll, my babies, it's time to allow yourself to be seen by the world. It's time to stop hiding in the shadows allowing life to pass you by. You can't keep yourself in the mental prison of feelings of imposter syndrome, fear of judgment, etc. Life wants to give you financial blessings, especially with the Ace of Pentacles in Reversed but you are blocking them because you aren't doing what needs to be done. This could be you starting a YouTube channel, being a content creator on social media, writing a book or screenplay/ maybe even fanfiction for some of you, others this might just be you hiding from a promotion that you deeply desire but feel you lack experience, knowledge, etc. Whatever this is for you, you have to release the thoughts that plague your mind and go for the thing that puts you in front of everyone. Yes at first you may make mistakes or look cringe or whatever the issue may be but that's how everything is when you first jump deep into something. You make mistakes and people will talk...but you want to know something life moves on and the world doesn't end. Seriously do the thing, it's time. You will beat yourself up if others take the things that you want for yourself and you want to know something you have no one to blame but yourself because you decided to not do what needs to be done. Write the book. Film yourself. Apply for better jobs even if you think you are not qualified. Have you heard of the girl who applied to jobs she had no business doing and ended up getting hired making $100k a year...that could be you right now but you are stuck listening to self-doubt and the thoughts of what others will say. Storytime: I knew that I didn't want to continue working at whatever job I was working at back in 2015 so when my friend and I figured out that employers don't check a lot of your information we applied for positions that would pay us well and you want to know something the resume I lied on got me so far in life to where I was Assistant GM of hotels at one point. All because I believed I could do what others were doing in the hotel industry even without a lick of experience. Did I mess up in the beginning, yes. Did I care...no because I was doing more good than harm so no one really questioned if I lied or not. You have to take the jump. Do the thing.

Extra Messages: Tea Tree Leaf Oracle: Short Journey, Back to Basics, Work achievement & success, TIME TO ACT, Someone is extremely stubborn and unwilling to change, Protected from negative forces beyond your control, Solid foundation success with effort, waiting for news package or letter, A meeting with a strange could be important.

Pile lll do you see the amount of synchronicities in your oracle reading. Spirit is coming through loud and clear that you need to get out of your stubbornness and began acting on your dreams, goals, and desires. You are protected from anything that could try and take what this is away from you. Even with a solid foundation success with effort is telling you "Hey if you do the thing you will not fail because you are protected." Now this goes without saying that you won't deal with some challenges because that's life what it is saying is you will come out on top and the journey for you won't be a long one if you just do the effort that it takes. Spirit will do the rest if you just do what needs to be done.

Pile lV:

Messages From Your Mental Prison. Tarot: The Empress, Queen of Pentacles, 5 of Swords (reversed), 8 of Swords (reversed), 6 of Wands

You are victorious pile lV your only problem is that you don't believe you are worth a pot to piss in a lot of the time. Even with the Empress and Queen of Pentacles card here letting me know how nurturing, giving, empathetic, and even resourceful you are you don't see any good things about yourself. You remind me of people who speak negatively about themselves not knowing that their actions speak the opposite. You can't say you don't care but your actions speak another language. You can't put yourself down but then be upset when life mirrors your thoughts. Deep down you know how amazing you are and the many great things that you can do, but for some strange reason you recently for some of you while others of you this has been going on for a while where you constantly hold yourself to such a low standard and critic everything that you do. Why is that? Where did it begin? How can you remove this person or thing that made you feel this way? For some of you, this may have been a relationship (platonic, romantic, or familial) that made you feel self-critical of yourself because they felt something about themselves. You must remember that when people speak unkind things to you that it's a reflection of themselves and not you. You don't have to take what others think of you and run with it as if they are true because they are not. A scene that comes to mind is when the mom in Black Swan says "What happened to my little girl?" What happened to you that made you feel and think these thoughts to yourself and how can you get back to the Empress and Queen of Pentacle energy.

Extra Messages: Manifestation Oracle Cards: Wellbeing, Empowerment, Strength

How can you today give yourself the love that you deserve? Is it a DIY spa day? A trip to a therapist or talk with a trusted friend? How can you show up for yourself in ways that you haven't before that will make you see the person you are? Have the strength and courage to stand up to anyone who makes you feel any less than what and who you are. For a few of you, you may be a part of the LBGTQ+ community and others around you have made you feel different, a "freak" or whatever insecurity that you question your existence. There is a quote by Elenor Roosevelt that says "No one can make you feel inferior without your permission." Please don't let assholes who were raised by baboons let you lower yourself or feel anything less than amazing, beautiful, and authentically you. Regardless of how you feel about yourself find something in your life, day, or something as small as a freckle on your face that you love and keep bringing more of that energy in for you and keep your head up. This feeling is only temporary, things will get better.

Thank you for liking and reblogging my readings. I always appreciate you guys on here and on Patreon.

Stay safe and be blessed

[myobsessionsspace]

Felt like ranting, might delete later

Suuuuuupper long, like long AF🙈

I’m gonna be controversial, I don’t like fighting, hate/negativity etc. if you see this post has been deleted, it’s jut cos I can’t, I can’t deal.

Anyway, this is long and rambly and all over the place, so here goes

Has any member addressed shipping hate/antis and what happened after they did?

Don’t all groups male & female have shippers? So it’s something that sadly comes with the idol, bg, gg culture? Straight or not? Solo idols too have shippers for anyone they’ve blinked near.

If an idol hasn’t addressed the mass hate of a year ago, they didn’t address the mass hate of 5 years ago, why are they gonna address the mass hate of 2 days ago?

It’s interesting because I’m not active on IG or twitter anymore so if not for friends and seeing people allude to it here, I wouldn’t even know that craziness had happened on IG.

But honestly how much more different is it to a business owner cancelling a meet and greet at his new Japan location because of hate? The military being spammed and told to split companion buddies up because of a trip together to a beautiful location, letters being sent to a company saying stop allowing two members to be close to each other on stage and in official content?

Literally for nearly 10 years.

Why do people expect the youngest to be the mouthpiece against the people that claim to love him but don’t respect him at all, put him on a pedestal and want him separated from those that evidently love him.

Why do people expect the youngest who received soo much hate for being supported in his solo endeavours, achieving success in his solo endeavours all the while championing his members solo careers too and never letting up on saying they would return as 7 and that was the most important thing to him.

Yes he’s said things like ‘if you don’t like me now, with how I’m living and working now, thank you for liking me then and you’re free to go’ ‘it’s because people have constantly given me the confidence to be myself that I am who I am now and sorry not sorry if you still want the younger me’. He speaks for himself but he rarely even does then. When he has what happened? Did the hate stop? Did the stalking stop? Did the expectations stop? Everytime there’ll be people quoting, commenting, hashtagging, writing essay about ‘please listen to him’ then the next day back to all the age old stereotypes of him, using his words from when he was 16 in online arguments, stalkers back to sending things to his barracks, stalking his friends & family’s socials. It doesn’t make a difference.

If the father doesn’t speak on it, if the son doesn’t speak on it, if the company doesn’t speak on it…

Yes he’s very very infrequently spoken up in the past about HIM, and also about his PHYSICAL SAFTEY ‘please don’t stalk my apartment’ ‘please don’t stalk my gym’ ‘please don’t stalk my home’ ‘please don’t send things to my home’ ‘please don’t send things to my barracks’

But INTERNET CRAZINESS when?

And I knnnnoooowww many thought of the time he spoke up for 5 girls whose ages range from 16 years old to 20! None of them considered of legal age in SK. A country KNOWN for misogyny and anti feminism. We’re really gonna use that one empathetic, selfless, most likely spontaneous moment of ‘protection’ as a see he can talk out on things!

Maybe, just maybe his HYUNG who has access to the same things he has access to doesn’t want his maknae speaking for him, his HYUNG is also his own person, an adult, in the same industry and can also speak up if he wants to but CHOOSES what he chooses. Because you care does that mean his hyung cares? His hyung said fuck twitter and chills on weverse as and when he wants. His dad says y’all are doing too much in the comments so shuts them off. Simples. They can close that door and it literally doesn’t exist to them. You all can do the same.

“But why does he have his comments on?”

“But why did he address NJ stuff and not his on group stuff”

“Why doesn’t he just say he’s not dating this member or that member”

“Why doesn’t he just say he’s not gay/he’s not straight”

“This celeb/idol does, why doesn’t he?”

It’s his life, it’s his choice.

I have no clue why he’s spoken on certain things and not others.

We don’t know what he gives a shit about other than what he’s repeatedly told us:

Music

ARMY

BTS

Family & Friend

Like, he goes and takes a pic with a k-rapper, because it’s someone the fandom doesn’t like for various reasons, including disparaging remarks about the group, the fandom trended that he was being held hostage, photoshopped different people in place of the rapper etc. the fandom only accept from him what they want and how they want it.

We’re trying to make our kpop experience his, our online experience his, our concerns and cares about the fandom his. His fandom is experience isn’t ours, his online experience isn’t ours, his experience with his members isn’t ours.

All of this is to do with his life, his friend’s lives. Yet we’re soo expectant on what he should care about and what he shoild talk about.

Yes he cares about karaoke more than Internet bullshit, he’ll spend thousands and sing to 20 million people before he’ll address Internet bullshit. Oh well. What now? *le sigh* I did say I’d be ranting 🙈

Ngl though Minie gets the most hate from his own fandom and kpoppies, the maknae get the most expectations from his fandom, from all his different shippers. I’ve seen people say he should have refused all the support for his solo debut because of his other shipping halves, saying he feeds shippers or doesn’t talk enough about a shipping half, how dare he have a TikTok and cause hate with the videos he double taps that get stalked to draw conclusions, how dare he not close curtains, how dare he go live and cause frenzies, how dare he sing this song and not that song, how dare he hug someone, on and on and on.

Honestly if the fan experience isn’t hitting step back, or make changes but being angry at him over your fan/internet experience??? Likkkeee his job is to sing, dance and entertain and his doing that superbly🤌

It even got to a point where when I was still on twitter that I had to mute report accounts because that’s where I actually would get hourly updates on the hate. I had to mute people that would quote or ss the hate to comment on it.

The height of expectations people have on someone and how THEIR name is being used by millions online and what THEY should say or do is insane.

Being disappointed he doesn’t scold millions of people ranging from retirement age to middle school age for THEIR internet shenanigans.

All that would happen is…nothing

Nothing would change

Blog would have headlines

Other fandoms would talk

Fans, shippers, solos etc would take what they want from it and make it make sense to them how they wish.

Then after not even 24 hours, maybe 48 hours factory rest and everything would continue as before.

Something as deeply ingrained as shipping craziness, as solo craziness…at this point I don’t see it going anywhere even if one member talks on it, 7 members, the company, the government, angels or aliens.

Another thing 😬

Just because we have a need to know itch, we see what antis say, because we have a need to protect and defend, we gotta see what the antis are saying to counteract them, sometimes counter attack. In counter attacking the same tools that antis use are being utilised. In protecting the same words are being said or remixed but different members are being replaced.

If people wanna fight fire with fire instead or replacing your faves name with their faves name, speak on the account user themselves! When people say you’re ’setting up this member or that member’ is because people’s way of fighting fire with fire or clapping back is never the person that said the bullshit but the member, hate what someone online said about a member, then it’s that account user that is your target not the member, the member is thousands of miles away minding their business and getting pulled into millions of people’s group chats, threads, essay posts, clapbacks etc.

Just because we see and are constantly surrounded by the hateful shit doesn’t mean the members are and so they’re not gonna act like that’s their whole internet life.

They watch memes, funny TikToks, series, maybe google their name for the cute art and jokes army have, search their name on twitter and YouTube to re-live performances etc

But are they really following I dunno, like report accounts or something to see the shit day in and day out? Going through the quotes of hit tweets to see the bullshit there? Going through all the English back and forth between antis and seeing the edits and threads?

Yea they know shit, no doubt, but are their internet lives as immersed in the fan wars, shipper, solo etc subspaces or is their shit curated? Their timeline totally different than yours?

Why do you want them to be as stressed online as you are?

If they haven’t seen it that’s good right?

If they scroll online for hours and aren’t compelled to address the hate regardless then it just doesn’t get to them as much as it does you.

Then that’s good right? That’s what we want, right, right??

Wanting them to talk on this or talk on that is more for our comfort than theirs. Cos imagine this, imagine they say something in a dressing it that YOU don’t agree with, then what? They shouldn’t have spoken at all right?

All I know is that we expect soo much of them, we want them to say and do what we want them to say or do, from fans, solos, akgaes and even antis, we all wanna control them in one way or another and we need to reflect on that 😪

Over 20 MILLION PEOPLE watched his live, supporters, haters, media, old and new acquaintances, industry peers, family, friends of family…20 MILLION PEOPLE but yea he didn’t address solos/shipper/antis bullshit🙄

Some of the crap to come from a carefree live full of singing and catching up:

Fans taking what they want to run with it based on a translator working rapid fire in real time to translate in the middle of the night (his live was two hours from midnight to like 2am) running on multiple late nights and early mornings for work and personal life and translating for free. Being mad that she didn’t translate every word and utterance a lost all songs that came from a TWO HOUR live at midnight!

Fans taking him singing songs as validation to their y/n fantasies, their homophobia, their shipping fantasies/wars etc

Kpoppies fighting, slandering his singing abilities over him singing a song

Hate for mentioning his enlistment companion

Mentioning the person you enlisted with and spend the majority of your time with is soo evil??

The pipeline to being a solo fan/akgae of a person to becoming their anti and hating them, insulting them by way of insulting their member. Completely disregarding their vulnerability and making it about hate.

For singing members songs

I’m not messing up my algorithms to show TikTok, IG & YouTube examples 😖

[wordy-little-witch]

Ghost Roger ships Shuggy and that’s why when Crocodile and Mihawk start to court the clown all hell breaks loose.

Okay it may be a bit more complicated than that, Roger is protective of his kids in a way, he feels a bit remorseful for not making feel Buggy important in live and he’s HELLA worried about how his sons parted ways. Of course even if there’s more to it than just “There were some misunderstandings” and he maybe won’t be able to make things completely right after dead, he still wishes those two would just TALK to each other. He probably told Buggy a lot of stuff after he first was able to contact him, but that doesn’t mean the grudge against Shanks (and Roger for that matter) is immediately gone.

So Roger really hopes those two make up and maybe kiss a little, he’s seen those obvious crushes those two had on each other for ages…. So when the two men who threatened his Bug suddenly start to get all flirty with him… well you can’t blame him for not being completely rational about it.

He can’t really do much besides be a nuisance, hiding things from them, throwing things off the table, one time he secretly put ketchup in Crocodiles coffee and he counts that as a massive victory, but he’s not full on Poltergeist level, he doesn’t have much power anymore. The only time he regains a significant amount of Strenght is when Buggy confronted him about this behavior, it truly was a scene to behold, Buggy, screaming into an empty room that Roger can’t decide who or who not he gets to trust and choose for himself, and Roger, not being able to communicate his own frustrations to Buggy and tell him he’s just worried but that Buggy also needs to stop being so damn stubborn, throwing things across the room and howling and causing a storm just with his intense emotions alone.

It’s only late at night when they both have calmed down that Roger makes his way back to Buggies room, now properly calmed and thinking somewhat rationally again. He doesn’t have much more energy than to scribble a “Sorry” with Buggys lipstick onto the mirror, but he knows his boy will get what he means.

Roger might get pleasantly surprised on several accounts tough, not only do Buggys new suitors actually care for him, despite their initial treatment of him, but Buggy may or may not also reconcile with Shanks after some gentler pushes and encouragement from his side…. And it may or may not turn out that Buggy has a lot of space for several people in his heart, who’d have thought? Atta boy! His little casanova….

Oh my goshhhh yeah this exactly (sorry it took so long to respond, was a lil busy)

Roger really would be like. The strangest mix if "you got this!!" And "not on my watch". He's got redneck girl dad vibes, like "don't mind me sitting on the porch making aggressive eye contact while I clean my gun and/or sword, kid, but yeah I know how to use them and use them well anyway be good to my kid or else haha no I'm serious-"

Ironically I feel like Roger would be pushing less for a Slowburn Romance for Shuggy and more a you can fix it and salvage smth and maybe it's different but you two are two sides of one coin guys come onnnn- type of deal. Like. The kisses would be nice (he'd win the bet and Rayleigh would owe him 500 berri) but also it just... it hurts to see his kids so hurt. It doesn't matter how the end result is configured so long as some of the pain is abated.

So when Buggy, his baby blue, his bright and bold and flashy little nugget, begins getting courted by the same men who unflinchingly harmed him?

When Roger has SEEN the things Buggy went through up to this point?

When Roger knows how easy it is for Buggy to fall into the arms of someone who means him harm, when he knows how Buggy clings to and almost searches for it?

Oh he's livid. He's frothing. He's not going to let that slide, not even remotely.

And so begins his Hijinks.

And so ignites Buggy's temper.

It goes on maybe a month, if that. Roger is petty and angry, but he's pacing it and being careful to make it impossible to trace to his kid. The few opportunities that leaves for him is very good motivation to go bigger each time. Croc's favored pen? Gone. Mihawk's wine glass? Different cabinet. Croc's ash tray? Flipped onto a document. Hawkeye's wine bottles? All corks are in some way damaged. He starts small and works his way up.

The ketchup in the coffee was his magnum opus - and that was Buggy's last straw.

He passes Alvida and informs her that it's a Code Pink. She nods and spreads the word. Nobody gets in his way as he beeline to his workshop and the adjacent sheds connected there.

It's arguably a hurricane by way of fury. Things are thrown and voices blow into uneven crescendos. Buggy begins to angry cry and Roger pulls at his own hair to fight the urge to wipe the tears away or crush the emotions out of his kid with his own arms. It's a hot mess, and it only gets worse when Roger hears Buggy say the one thing he didn't ever want to hear but suspected nonetheless.

"What's it matter if they hurt me? I deserve it-!"

He'll admit - he doesn't rightly recall what exactly it is that he does after that. The words echoed in his head, louder and louder until it was a battering ram in his skull. He doesn't remember much of that split second between hearing it and acting, but he found himself crushing his boy into his chest, one hand in blue curls, the other across a trembling back.

"Never," he swears, "you never deserve to be hurt, Blue. I'm so sorry you feel like that's true, but baby Bug, Red has told you-"

And that's the final straw for Buggy.

"Red?! Red's all you ever fucking think about!" And he shoves Roger away, mouth running faster than he can stop it, tears falling with the mess of his emotions as he rants and raves and leaves a captain, a father, hollow in shock.

Buggy pauses for a breath, and Roger reaches out, just to pull back at the swat to his hand.

"No," Buggy hiccups, "I just... I'm done. I'm fucking done. Go find someone else to bother. I'm through."

He leaves.

And Roger rages.

Hours later, finally calm and able to rationally think, he drifts to Buggy's room. He's shaking with exhaustion, but he grabs a lipstick - the cheap writing one, never Buggy's good lip color - and scrawls an apology onto the mirror. He floats over to Buggy's bedside, watches his kid sleep, tear tracks on his face and dried in his lashes. He aches.

He sits vigil there all the night, energy depleting until he's a bare whisp of a presence. He'll protect his kid how he can, but he won't step in the way.

It's only when Rouge offers to trade out that he deigns to rest.

Things go back to mostly normal afterwards.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

When it turns out that Crocodile and Mihawk truly do care for and want to make Buggy happy, Roger is pleasantly surprised and very suspicious. He keeps it mostly to himself (and to Rouge, Ace and Eddie), but he is watching. He gets to witness the growth first hand - except some things second hand, because he may be a pirate, but he's also a father and some things are meant for a parent's eyes to never ever EVER see - but he does see it. He acknowledges it. And he gives his approval subtly.

So when things begin blooming outward, he's aware, somewhat, but mostly acting as but an observer. Though when those tendrils of Blue reaches out to Red.... well. He's Looking Heavily.

And then he's cheering aggressively because YES!! FINALLY!!!! RAYLEIGH OWES HIM SO MANY BERRI!!!!

And when blue and brown eyes cut towards him, Roger pauses, shrinks a little. By the Seas he forgot how weird his kids and their Haki was. He waves awkwardly.

".... Captain," Shanks says after a moment.

"Red...?"

"I am very happy to see you, believe me. But I also am very happy to have Buggy in my arm, so maybe go bother Lucky Roux or Yassop while I do unspeakable things to my Blue."

"Shanks," Buggy squawks angrily with a face as red as his nose, squirming in place.

Roger just laughs, gives a salute. "Aye, captains!"

He slips off through the walls to the symphony of his eldest laughing while baby blue complains loudly. There was a sudden thump, silence, then rustling. Roger, eyes wide, floated faster.

He'd always said Buggy would steal riches and hearts alike.

By Davy Jones, Ray owed him so much money.

[redeclipsee]

This is just going to be a little rant about Galadriel, Haladriel, Celeborn and other thingies I've seen discourse about lately. And this is by no means discrediting people's opinions. I just wanted to talk about it lol

I've always been pro-ship. Ship whatever the hell you want. "Problematic" ships, morally wrong ships, just whatever. As long as you're not being an asshole to other people.

Which led me to Haladriel. Haladriel is easily the most popular ship of the show, and with the end of S2, I've seen people attacking the ship, but I've seen more people demanding for Haladriel to become "canon" and absolutely shitting on other characters, plots and fans who enjoy other parts of the show that don't revolve around the ship. And it's quite embarrassing.

In the show, Sauron and Galadriel are foil characters to each other. I don't think hoping for them to face each other each season is unrealistic or even bad. In fact, it's expected. Whenever Sauron chooses darkness, Galadriel will choose light. It's a dance with those characters. 

BUT demanding the romantic ship to become canon and being mean to everyone who says otherwise is bad. You don't need canon to ship them or read them as romantic (because let's be real, the show left it to interpretation, and it's fantastic). Sauron and Galadriel being canon makes absolutely no sense with the lore, the world and the characters. We already know what the characters end up like, so being childish because they won't kiss is embarrassing.

Which leads me to some people hating the character Celeborn. We haven't even seen him in the show and yet, top 5 hated characters. I've seen more people attacking people who want Celeborn and Celeborn and Galadriel giving the most absolute insane takes; "he's boring", "you want Galadriel to be a tradwife", "you just hate Haladriel shippers“, among others. Which all of them are insane. How can you say he’s boring when we haven’t even seen him on the show? Galadriel can be happy, have a loving husband and be badass, be for real. And well, people can ship whatever. If people like Celedriel more than Haladriel is their right? Just as people can dislike Celedriel and like Haladriel, just be kind to each other idk.

SAURON & GALADRIEL

For me, there was a little romance between Galadriel and Sauron on S1. I think Sauron fell in love with her light and her power. I think Galadriel fell in love with the understanding that Halbrand gave her that she couldn’t find in anyone else, her “darkside” was understood. But Sauron’s idea of love can’t be anything but twisted and Galadriel could never really love Sauron. So yes, for me, there was love, but it was twisted.

Sauron is obsessed with her light. He wanted her power just as he wanted Celebrimbor’s art. And he won’t ever renounce it, so he’ll chace it and tempt her at every occasion he can, because he wants her light. Sauron, who thinks he needs to control everyone on Middle Earth to “heal” it, naturally has an obsession with the Lady of Light.

But that’s all there is. Because Galadriel could never truly love Sauron even when he’s the only one that could understand her darkest desires the most. 

GALADRIEL'S JOURNEY

I’ve seen people saying that her speech of “all peoples of Middle Earth will always resist you” is bad because it makes Galadriel abandon her personal goal of hunting Sauron for the greater good, not allowing a woman to have her own agency and advocating for everyone else. And well, I would agree if we weren’t talking about a Tolkien adaptation.

S1 Galadriel is galloping alone. No one believes her, no one understands her, and she can’t stop her quest. She’s prideful and selfish to an extent, and it’s her choices alone, her own internal desire to bring Sauron down that, unaware, brings him back to Middle Earth. She fucks up monumentally. 

S2 Galadriel is about the consequences of her actions, but also, realizing she’s not alone. Her letting go of Finrod's dagger at the end of S1 was a beautiful way of letting go of her quest. Gil-Galad and Galadriel’s relationship in S2 shines because Gil-Galad is harsh on her as much as he believes in her, and he tells her that. S2 Galadriel has no company and has to deal with the tables turned around by being part of Elrond’s company. Elrond, who was also acting stubborn like a mule and refused to listen to anyone (just like her S1 self). S2 Galadriel is about her finding that she’s not alone and that Finrod’s quest is over, and it’s time to fight for Middle Earth, all of it.

Going forward is about her becoming the Lady of Light that we know in Lord of the Rings. And yes, she’ll always have a darkside, she’ll always be prideful and ambitious, and I’m so excited to see hints of that in the upcoming seasons, but I don't think saying her putting aside her personal and prideful quest is bad is fair to the story the show is trying to tell. This is Tolkien, and it makes complete sense for it to be like that.

So yeah, in resume… I love Haladriel, but I don’t want them to ever be canon. I can’t wait for Celeborn to show up, and I can’t wait to see how the show develops Galadriel’s journey in the upcoming seasons! Just remember to be kind to other people, even if they don’t like your ships.

[acourtoflight]

big rant incoming <3

being on acotar tiktok comes with dealing with delusional people who are also trying to gaslight you.

the fact that people still believe gwyn is gonna have a book is crazy to me, especially before elain. the fact that people believe sjm is gonna have a man choose is crazy.

let’s address all their arguments one by one, shall we?

1. “elriel is too obvious/cliché”. this makes me laugh because do you even know what you’re reading? romantasy is always cliché. and also, everyone finding their mate and living happily ever after wouldn’t be too obvious or cliché? what stakes would they have? they have no obstacles, that book would be finished in 100 pages unless she made the romance a subplot, which we know won’t happen.

2. “lulu deserves happiness”. okay i’m gonna be real biased here. i don’t care about lucien’s happiness. i don’t care. the only thing i want is for elain to get the man she actually likes, which happens to be azriel. also, if lucien has been through so much so has azriel yet i don’t see all that coddling for him. lucien fans sound like boy obsessed moms and i’m tired of it. you 36! i would loveeee to know what lucien has done to have so many fans.

also, if i entertain the possibility of elucien happening, i will not forgive sjm for making elain “come around” after she repeated non-stop how uncomfortable she is around lucien. she’s not a consolation prize for him, sorry.

another thing. every plot point i have read for an elucien book revolves around lucien, not elain. but then they will turn around and tell you we are the ones who don’t care about elain. that we only want azriel smut. lol first of all, if we only wanted azriel smut we would have no reason to ship him with elain, we could have shipped gwynriel. but we don’t because the smut is not the only thing we want. the only thing we have had for years were the cute/sweet moments, and it’s all we talk about still. so point invalid, once again. next.

3. “azriel only feels lust for elain!”. stop lying. i know you can’t be that stupid. i know you have read the whole series just like me. what kind of man stares at ibuprofen every night for over a year if he’s only looking to get laid? what kind of man questions fate if he only wants to get laid? what kind of man risks dying alone just to rescue her if he’s only looking to get laid? what kind of man goes out of his way to pick a necklace that represents her if he’s only looking to get laid? cry all you want but we all know azriel is a good male and you would rather destroy his character in your head than accept it.

also, if azriel is so bad, why would you ship him with gwyn? she won’t fix him. and the poor girl hasn’t even shown interest in him yet here we are.

4. “elain gave truthteller and the necklace back”. she gave back truthteller because it wasn’t hers, and azriel would need it again because he actually makes use of it. she gave the necklace back because she thought azriel didn’t like her, she thought she had read everything wrong, not because she was the one rejecting him. she gave the necklace back just like nesta didn’t even accept cassian’s gift.

5. “azriel’s shadows don’t like elain”. that’s another big fat lie. i know we all have eyes and have read the same words on paper, let’s not act stupid, okay? shadows swarming him means he’s either mad, uncomfortable, or something is troubling him. so if we know that why would the shadows disappearing be a bad thing? he certainly doesn’t seem worried about it. not to mention those same shadows were like snakes preparing to strike when nesta insulted elain.

6. “feysand and nessian didn’t like each other at first either”. LIE. feyre literally called rhys the most beautiful man she had ever seen and nesta and cassian were attracted to each other from the first moment they met, and we know that because it’s in the actual book! elain and lucien are nothing like that, they have no chemistry for the pov to change all of a sudden, they are uncomfortable around each other because the mate bond basically feels like a curse.

that’s it for now.

[cinnibelle]

I’m going to vent. Sit tight for an artist’s reflection on the acotar fandom!

I was going to use tumblr to strictly post art (at least on my end) and engage with the wonderful ppl here as well. Except what I’ve been seeing as of late is a lot of abuse (across platforms) and it’s very jarring. As an artist, I understand to make the most of your experience in a toxic fandom is to say nothing and do nothing that bothers those a bit **too** passionate about their opinions. I get it, I’m used to being content fodder from other fandoms. So I am not new to this.

But this fandom is *so* toxic that I immediately understood why artists choose to stay neutral or entirely avoid making art for this fandom at all. I have several art friends interested in the books but won’t touch the fandom with a ten foot pole from what they’ve seen. What I’ve personally witnessed the past few months is genuinely disgusting. The only reason I’m here after being FLAMED on twitter is because 1) I began posting BECAUSE people were so kind and encouraging and I don’t want to leave them and the possibility of befriending others 2) I was fully prepared to be dragged for the smallest offense.

I didn’t want to believe people would be downright atrocious to me for Elain, being starborn, holding the sword that reflects her (as I’ve stated when I paralleled quotes) but that’s what they were: awful. And what I got in turn was: why are you victimizing yourself this is what other artists deal with! Ok?? And!? Why is it appropriate AT ALL. Why is it fine for you to do that? I don’t care what anyone ships, why do you feel entitled to comment nastiness under someone’s art. To directly be in their mentions mocking the concept and the way it looks or how you hate the character. It brings me and others joy.. why are you being ruthless? For a fictional character??

It’s too much. And you know, this is my first fandom experience where the shipping is so extreme. I would’ve loved multi shipping as I’ve done it in other fandoms, I really don’t care for what sort of crack ships people make up (though I have my limitations, I think everyone does. “Notp”.) But you know what I DON’T DO as an adult? Ridicule artists for their work. They are providing content FOR FREE. And if they aren’t, they are gifting you with their expertise and talent. You are scaring people away.

I was afraid of joining and just stayed on the sidelines for months just enjoying arts in peace. I only gave in because I showed some friends some of my sketches and they ADORED it. And pleaded that I post. So I did, and I found many others really wanted me to continue posting. So I do. Were it not for the toxicity, I would’ve drawn all types of ships because I’m genuinely someone that does not care about the ship and if it’s canon or endgame or not, if I like the characters and the vibe- cool. Draw it. That’s the beauty of fanart.

But people are acting diabolically UNHINGED over it. And treating artists like they’re players and they’re revoking sponsorships. Fandom should not be a competition. That is exhaustive and tiring. I shouldn’t have to be fearful of the engagements on my posts. I don’t even have 500 followers yet on ANY of my platforms. And still, I am treated like filth. I need people to reflect on their behavior, recognize if they don’t like something ignore it or block it or what have you and be at peace. Stop giving into negativity and using artists as some pawn- they have feelings TOO! And you really turn them off to a character or a ship or a fandom in general with the way you act.

I have my comments off where I can keep them off because I simply don’t want 1) people arguing in my comments and 2) comments that are generally unhelpful or just shaming me for what I post. But twitter I really can’t help what happens. And tumblr too there’s some limits I can take and a filtering system I can take advantage of but even here people lack etiquette. I don’t understand where people get off acting like mean girls over things people made.

This is the most extreme, unhealthy fandom I have ever been in and I’m really not all shocked when I hear an artist quit and doesn’t want to partake. This is not a competition of who has it worse. Stop bullying artists because they don’t make content that pleases you. Just drop it. I can’t believe I am being called TOXIC for defending myself and my art. And I know who these people are, I know exactly the type of content they themselves post and it’s COMEDY to be telling ME I’m toxic for standing up for myself.

Most artists leave or go silent. That’s what you want, right? Or to antagonize them to the point they really lose patience with you. This is me losing patience: a call to being better. Be the change you seek. It’s funny I have people going at me and in their bio it says “ spread kindness not hate” Pardon??

Seriously, I would’ve liked to explore any theory and a variety of arts despite my preferences but the way people act with what I DO put out, I’m just sour. I don’t even want to expand beyond the two characters I really like because I have a headache already with the “you don’t really care about-“ takes that I’ve seen other artists get when they expand what they draw in this fandom.

It shouldn’t offend you that an artist has a preference and wants to share the things that they found intriguing or makes them happy. And if it does, cry about it in private at minimum. Stop dumping your grief onto the artists. That’s all. Maybe then you will see a resurgence of artists that do content for free (and frequently) or a return of artists who left.

[skywalkr-nberrie]

No way I just saw an Anakin hater/Ewan/OW fan girl say that she’d “never forgive Padmé for choosing Anakin when OW was right there.” and even said how much it hurts that OW said he wishes he was “Leia’s” father so that means he was “in love with her” the whole time while he had to watch her be with Anakin.

Count on these antis to ignore batches of context to benefit their delusions.

1. Padmé didn’t care for OW, she didn’t choose him because she didn’t WANT him. She got the one she loved and desired. She won. Period.

(Side note: why do these weirdos pretend that Anakin/Hayden isn’t canonically and visibly super attractive? Or that OW/Ewan was unarguably more hotter than Anakin/Hayden?? Did you forget that “in universe” Anakin is canonically considered the “ladies man” and that’s actually acknowledged by OW twice? Once in the novel “Labyrinth of Evil” and again in Star Wars: The Clone Wars. I’m gonna hold your hand when I say this… fact is that A LOT of girls would prefer Anakin over OW and Padmé is one of those girls, as we see 😬

I know why I chose Anakin over OW when I was only 8, and so does my niece who’s 10. And I know there’s many more that’s just like us, lol. If they’d stop projecting for a minute, they’d realize how it actually makes perfect sense why Padmé chose Anakin and not OW whom she never considered as an option for her, and never would be, regardless.)

Yes and I know it’s hard for misogynists to grasp this, because how dare a woman choose her own life partner. But I was never one (a misogynist) to begin with, so I can’t agree 🤷🏾‍♀️ and don’t even try with the “if Star Wars was written by a female” argument that’s tossed around. Because it’s not like most of the people who ship Anidala aren’t female??

And please be real for once, what’s more female gaze? The young and beautiful heroine ending up with someone she met as a kid while he an adult, who’s much older too, or her ending up with the younger (closer to her age) Prince Charming she didn’t even know she was dreaming of? If the self projection wasn’t so insane from thirsting over Ewan, they wouldn’t actually spout this crap.

2. OW didn’t say he “wishes” he was Leia’s father, lmao. He tells her he wishes that he could SAY he was. The two hold tremendously different meanings from each other, especially when you’re not ignoring “context.” The false one implies that OW wishes he was actually the real father instead (like the antis assume) and the correct one implies that he wished he could tell Leia in that specific moment that he was. And why does OW say this?

Well, I’ll let Ewan explain:

As stated in the video, OW only said that because he wishes he could bring Leia closure for not being able to know her real dad, and in that moment she was hoping OW was him. No where is it ever implied this was because he’s always had “secret harboured feelings” for Padmé (whom was his surrogate son/brother’s wife.) In Ewan’s words: there isn’t “any more to it than that.” Even went as far as to subtly mention how if there was any validity to this “OW and Padmé” theory, George would’ve put that in the script, or would’ve told that story. Which we’re all well aware he didn’t do of any sort. (And I should mention that Anakin’s seeds of doubt and mistrust in the deleted ROTS concepts, doesn’t count. Those were all planted by Palpatine to bring him closer to the dark side. It was never real.) So? Case closed.

Now stop blaming Padmé for falling in love with Anakin and choosing him over the guy she canonically doesn’t have any interest in and didn’t have any interest in her.

P.S: OW canonically only loves Satine. Anyways, Anidala is the superior ship. Hence why they’re canon. Pack it up, and go home, folks!

[venomwrites]

Caitvi but happy

Warnings: vague season 2 spoilers under the cut.

“This one’s huge! And boring!” Jinx laments as they walk through the airship, “We need something tight. Maneuverable!”

“Onto the next one?” Caitlyn asks. 

Jinx nods jumps off. Caitlyn frowns as she sees Vi standing on the deck, looking out at the spread of airships around them. Beyond that is a still rebuilding Piltover and Zaun and the fragile peace between them, but that is not their problem. Right now it’s finding a suitable airship to take them far far away. 

“Do you like this one?” Caitlyn asks tentatively. 

“It’s fine,” Vi says, her voice tight. Then she takes a deep breath and squares her shoulders, “you heard Powder, onto the next one.”

“I found it!” Comes a sing song voice and Vi’s head whips around.

Caitlyn feels like she’s been punched in the gut. Finding the one means one step closer to their next great adventure. One she’s determined to support. Financially, emotionally, everything. She has to rally her mask back on and fixes a smile when Vi turns around.

She’s not expecting the stab of pure panic in Vi’s eyes. 

“Hey,” she says, drawing her over, “it’s going to be alright. This is going to be great.”

Vi’s face twists and then smooths out and she nods, her throat working. Vi has a very specific smile that flattens the scar on top of her lip in a particular way. It’s not a good smile but she thinks it fools people. Sometimes Caitlyn lets her think that too. She doesn’t like her flashing it now. 

“Coming Powder!” Vi says and hops off before Caitlyn can protest. 

She trails them to the next ship, this one significantly smaller and older. It looks like something Jinx would choose. She looks perfectly at home here. 

Vi doesn’t. 

She sticks out like a sore thumb. She’s too clean for the space, too big. She looks miserable. Saying how wrong this is fights through Caitlyn’s throat, but Vi’s got her fake smile plastered on and is inspecting things like she’s going to try to make this work. So Caitlyn grabs the only lifeline she can find. 

“There’s only one bedroom,” she points out. 

“Well there’s only gonna be one full time passenger,” Jinx points out. Caitlyn’s insides twist with something wild. She rips her eyes from Jinx to Vi. Vi’s hands are shoved into her pockets and she looks like she wants to take one of the ships up and throw herself off it, “did she not tell you?”

“Powder!” Vi hisses. 

“No she did not,” Caitlyn turns back to Vi, “what did you not tell me?”

“Nothing! I haven’t made up my mind about anything. Can we look at the next airship?”

“No, I like this one,” Jinx says, sprawling out on the floor, “we could fit a cot for when you come visit,” she mumbles and then frowns, “but it’s not going to fit the two of you—“

“We need to talk. Powder stay here,” Vi orders and grabs her arm, dragging her out of the airship. 

Caitlyn stumbles after her, still thrown off balance with something that is beginning to taste a horribly lot like hope. It clogs in her throat though when she sees how utterly miserable Vi looks. The second they get onto the dock she drops her arm and steps back, dragging her hands through her hair. 

“You want to stay?” Caitlyn sputters out. 

“I don’t know!” Vi says, for the first time letting the panic seep into her voice, “Powder wants to see the world, find our place in it.” 

Caitlyn knows she’s supposed to be quiet and supportive. That Vi is developing so many things Stillwater and life robbed from her. That she did enough damage begging Vi to take the badge and pulling her along with her own revenge. 

“Is that what you want?” 

“I don’t know what I want!” Vi erupts, throwing up her arms and turning away, “I want everyone to stop changing for five minutes!” 

She looks so miserable, her back knotting and shaking. Caitlyn can’t remember if she’s supposed to touch her or not, but she can’t just let this happen. Vi stiffens at the contact and then melts as she slides her arms around her, resting her cheek against the flat of her shoulder. 

“Ekko’s been practicing,” she says, eliciting a wet, miserable laugh from Vi, “you don’t have to make up your mind now,” she says into Vi’s jacket. Vi lets out a shuddering breath and turns in her arms.

“I—“

“It’s definitely this one!” Powder calls from somewhere to their right. Vi’s features twist, turning towards her sister. The panic stays back through her gaze. 

“Hey,” Caitlyn touches her face, “it won’t be goodbye, whatever you choose,” she insists. Vi turns her head into her palm and Caitlyn has to fight not to scream for Vi to keep her feet on the ground right here where she belongs, “let’s go see this one.”

Vi catches her hand as they walk. This one looks far more like the old one but there’s something newer. It’s bigger too. Vi looks like she fits in here. One bedroom is smaller than the other, but they are both perfectly serviceable. Vi runs her fingers over the finishes like she’s imagining herself here and Caitlyn nods. 

“This one seems better,” she says. Though the words taste like acid in her mouth, “it suits you both.”

Vi gives the smallest, most miserable nod Caitlyn’s ever seen. But it’s a nod. Caitlyn clears her throat and forces herself to smile. Even as she feels her eyes start to burn. 

“You were right, this is the one,” she says to Jinx, “I’ll go take care of the paperwork and we’ll talk supplies.” 

Vi’s head whips towards her but Caitlyn can feel her facade crumbling too fast to fully salvage. She has to get out of there before it falls apart and she ruins everything. She can just throw money at this and the seller will fill out the paperwork for her. Then she can come back with her facade in place and support them finding their place in the world. As is right. 

Then Vi crashes into her back and takes them both face first to the dock. Only Ambessa’s training has Caitlyn rolling their weight so they don’t go flying off the edge. 

“What on—“

“Powder!”

Caitlyn realizes there’s only one rope tethering this thing to the dock. Jinx must have cast the rest of them off before they got there. Vi stares in horror. But she doesn’t move. They both know she can make the jump if she goes now but she keeps her hands pressed to the dock by Caitlyn’s head and just stares as the ship starts to widen the distance.

“See? Maneuverable!” Jinx shouts back to them, “keep an eye on her while I’m gone!”

That last word seems to have an effect on Vi who suddenly lurches to her feet. 

“Powder wait!” Vi shouts desperately. 

“No can do sis! I’ll see you around!” Then she pauses, “Gotta find my place too. Like you did!”

“Powder!” 

Jinx winks and then throws some gear and the airship moves away with so much speed now Vi can’t make the jump. She can only fall to her knees as Jinx sails away. Caitlyn’s legs finally catch up to her mind and she scrambles over to Vi. She’s kneeling there taking unsteady breaths, but they get steadier each time. There’s tears on her cheeks but they are drying as the wind whips at them. 

Caitlyn can hear someone coming. 

“Miss Kiramman! That ship! We’ll stop it—“

She looks at Vi who gives her the first honest, messy smile of the day. The panic in her eyes is slowly being taken over by an emotion Caitlyn feels echoing in her own bones. Her knees go jelly like as she joins Vi on the docks. 

“I’ll pay you double what you’re asking to turn off the tracking and get supplies to the three nearest outposts,” she says. 

“A-alright,” the man sputters but Caitlyn doesn’t care as Vi leans against her. Warm and real and here, “are you sure?”

“Yes. Now leave us.”

They hurry away at the order. Probably to try and charge her triple. She’s so overcome with vicious relief at the warm weight leaning into her, she’s not sure she’d care. The ship is becoming more dot like as it goes farther away. Caitlyn was prepared to imagine the two of them laughing as it drifted away. But instead Vi is real and warm and chuckling next to her. Caitlyn stares at her, stunned. 

“What are you laughing about?” She demands. 

“You look really happy, Cupcake,” Vi throws at her. The airship igniters can’t be as hot as her face is burning, “first time you’ve looked happy all day.”

“Oh—shut up. I was trying to be supportive,” she says. 

“So you didn’t want me to go?”

The tiny uncertain note in Vi’s voice makes her break their contact in shock. Vi’s hand clamps down on her thigh, reminding her they are on the airship dock. 

“Of course I didn’t want you to go! How could you think that!” She demands. The skeptical look on Vi’s face doesn’t ease and Caitlyn wonders how she’s managed to fuck this up as well, “I was trying to be supportive,” she repeats. 

“By letting me go?”

“Yes!” Vi raises an eyebrow, “well when you say it like that it sounds—“

“Like the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard? Kind of. Top five at least. You did just pay double for that old bucket of bolts.”

Caitlyn wishes the gentle teasing didn’t make it feel like she was the one who was about to cry. But Vi’s sitting there gently teasing her and it’s suddenly very, very difficult not to. This time it’s VI who touches her cheek and swipes under her eye with her thumb. 

“Thanks for being supportive, Cupcake.” 

Caitlyn doesn’t mean to take them back down quite as hard as she manages to do. But Vi pulls her tight against her chest and it suddenly feels like she can breathe again. Vi sighs deeply and her arms tightening around her. 

She doesn’t know how long they stay like that but eventually, they manage to get to their feet. She hands over the payment and they make their way back to the apartment Vi was sharing with Jinx. It’s all packed in anticipation of the upcoming trip. 

Or Jinx’s side of it is. 

“You didn’t pack,” Caitlyn says the obvious, even though it doesn’t need to be voiced. 

Vi stands still in the apartment. 

“I kept trying but—“ she stops, “I couldn’t.”

The words are charged with something. Caitlyn feels her mouth go dry. Vi rolls her shoulders like she does when she’s preparing to fight. Caitlyn wonders if that’s what she needs from her. She’s still very bad at being needed but she’s trying. Irrationally it makes her wish she had her rifle, that’s always what tells her body it’s time for a fight. 

“Why not?” She prods. Vi turns around defiantly. 

“I didn’t want to leave,” she declares. Caitlyn nods and Vi rolls her eyes, “I didn’t want to leave you, Cupcake.”

“Good. I didn’t want you to leave,” Caitlyn says, trying to match her tone Caitlyn tries to find anything like moisture in her mouth, “I want—“

Vi’s throat works, bobbing up and down. Everything in Caitlyn screams at her to just throw Vi over her shoulder and take her away. Instead she forces herself forward with an offer. 

“I want you to come home with me.”

“Now?”

“Yes,” Caitlyn says. It’s still strange not to be immediately told yes. The only one who used to tell her no was her mother, “I want you to pack and come home with me.”

Vi takes a step forward. 

“Why?”

“Because,” Vi takes another step, “because—“ she’s close and intent and it’s flustering as hell, “because I’ve always hated you being in this apartment where I can’t be with you. Because the idea of you leaving made me sick. Because—because I want you to be back with me where you belong and realize that I kept my promise and that didn’t change!” 

Whatever Vi was expecting it wasn’t that. It wasn’t what she intended to say. Not all at once. Vi is slack jawed and Caitlyn can’t help but clap her hand over her mouth like that will take the words back. Forget Ekko she needs to find Mel and have the entire world unmade after what she just said. Or maybe she should just buy another airship so Vi can go find her sister since she just ruined everything. 

Then Vi closes whatever distance is between them, knocks her hand down and shoves their mouths together. 

Caitlyn can’t help her muffled sound of surprise. Whatever she is expecting, it’s not this. But Vi just pushes their mouths together harder, robbing her of all eloquent apologies. All she can do is pull her closer by the lapels of her jacket as Vi invades her senses, pushing them back against the wall. Something breaks and she tries to pull away but Vi commands her attention. 

“Leave it, I’m moving out,” she mumbles and it’s all Caitlyn can do not to fall apart right there. 

Later as they are flopped across Vi’s bed trying to catch their breath, Caitlyn looks up at her. 

“Tell me something you want,” she says, wishing she sounded a bit more authoritative than breathless, “not to make anyone else happy.”

“I am happy—“ Vi begins. Caitlyn holds her gaze and she sighs, “I don’t want you to ask me to be an Enforcer.”

Caitlyn had a feeling this was coming but nods anyway. 

“I’m not ready,” Vi continues, “it still means something you don’t understand.”

“I never should have asked,” Caitlyn says. Vi shakes her head.

“It happened,” she says, “but you can’t ask me again,” Caitlyn nods, “I’ll tell you when I’m ready.”

That catches Caitlyn off guard. The not slamming the door on the idea entirely. But she nods and shifts over to Vi, closing her eyes as she rakes her hands through her hair. 

“You’re exhausted, Cupcake,” Vi says, “didn’t sleep either last night?”

Caitlyn shakes her head. 

“I’m really happy you stayed,” she whispers. Vi’s fingers continue through her hair. 

“Me too."

[louisjude]

this is my thoughts on what has been shown to us on screen/in canon from the perspective of someone who shipped bvdd!e and was deadset on them being endgame until seeing what unfolds in season 7 and why i slowly came to the realization that bvdd!e may forever stay fanon and choosing to embrace bucktommy rather than making it my enemy because buck is my favorite character and seeing him happy makes me happy.

certain 7x04 spec/response: buck is misconstruing his feelings for tommy with what he’s actually feeling for eddie, because it’s obvious he was trying to eddie’s attention not tommy’s—well at least tommy gave buck his queer awakening so that means bvdd!e canon is possible!

what actually happened: buck made an effort to try and get to know tommy, his attempts to get close with tommy are interrupted by eddie. so buck spends the rest of the episode desperately trying to get invited to hangout with tommy too, because buck is a silly goofball who’s unknowingly crushing hard and too nervous to ask tommy to hangout again in fear of rejection or eddie and him already having plans. buck fully processes what he was doing was for tommy’s attention right before they kiss which gives tommy a 🚨gay🚨signal. tommy being buck’s queer awakening is about buck and buck alone. tim minear confirms the entire episode was a bait and switch and that eddie was the red herring to the audience. at no point in the episode does eddie indicate having feelings for buck, in fact eddie doesn’t even realize he’s been unintentionally leaving buck out and feels bad about it.

continued below ⬇️

certain 7x05 spec/response: photo stills release. everyone is so sure that eddie and marisol will be sat across from buck and tommy and eddie is going to grow jealous watching them. this doesn’t end up happening but thats ok. as the episode continues we’re sure tommy isn’t going to return and eddie will continue his catholic guilt arc which will lead to his own gay realization. buck comes out to maddie and it’s almost feels like maddie knows buck has feelings for eddie with her “if theres something you need to tell eddie, you will” line (because of previous dialogue like bucks boy crush on eddie) we get buck then coming out to eddie which we think might spark up eddies feelings as well after finding out his best friend he has unknown feelings for is bisexual. marisol moving out means marisol bones soon, yay! buck asks tommy for a second chance, not what we wanted but ig it’s fine because tommy can be buck’s first boyfriend to show him the queer lifestyle.

what actually happened: buck is entirely too nervous but excited to be on a date with tommy. tommy seemingly knows how to make buck and blushing mess which is something we haven’t really seen before and its adorable. buck gets overwhelmed and screws himself over with his “hot chicks” line which he absolutely did not need to say at all when eddie and marisol run into them. we’re given conflict within the date because we need to see buck fully embrace this new queer side of himself, and although the storyline overall is fairly lighthearted the way tim and oliver wanted, it’s still good to show what it’s really like for a lot of newly realized queer people, especially someone in their 30s who isn’t necessarily ashamed but is still coming to terms with the fact that they are queer and having to tell people after spending so long as presumably “straight”. especially a masculine man like evan buckley. the rest of the episode has buck mourning what he could have has with tommy because he really likes him, he accidentally comes out to maddie because he can’t stop talking about how stupid he felt ruining his chance, maddie tells him he’s not a fraud, that he obviously is nervous to tell eddie because that’s his best friend and a queer man coming out to their (atp, canonically) straight friend is a scary thing to do. he doesnt want things to change between them. we eventually get to see buck coming out to eddie and seeking acceptance from eddie which he automatically is given. its a weight off his shoulders, his best friend accepts him and reminds him it changes absolutely nothing between then and in fact, eddie tells buck to call tommy because buck admits he cannot stop thinking about him but is scared of rejection again. tommy agrees to meet with him and they actually have a very beautiful conversation, buck takes responsibility for his behavior on their date, tommy assures buck he isn’t really upset about it because it was mostly about not wanting to pressure buck into something he wasn’t ready for. buck then assures tommy he is ready for something and thinks that something could be with him. their coffee date sweetly ends with tommy agreeing to be bucks date to maddie and chim’s wedding and then holding hands.

now this is where i truly started to lose my rose-colored shipping glasses and where the plot became completely lost to me.

certain 7x06 spec/response: the karaoke scene is going to be huge for bvdd!e. tommy not dressing up for the bachelor party is red flag behavior. they didn’t have to write him being on standby, even he’s on standby he could have worn an 80s band tee. he put in no effort meanwhile bvdd!e have matching costumes*. buck and eddie are going to drunkenly kiss/almost kiss which causes tension between them. buck and tommy will end up broken up.

what actually happened: tommy showed up to the bachelor party despite being on standby, meaning he could have open been there for 5 minutes before having to leave. no one else dressed up in costume or 80s themed, tommy wasn’t the only one. tommy only leaves because he gets called into work and promises buck he’ll try his best to make it to the wedding. buck is visibly upset but they hug and buck even tells him to be safe. most of the episode afterwards is chimney focused and at the end we get tommy showing up for buck, sooty, grimey in his turnout gear because he didn’t even bother getting changed because he wanted to show up for buck. tommy is showing he will put in effort of buck, even if it means not sleeping for at least 12 hours and showing up after fighting a fire all night and day. they kiss in the middle of the hospital, buck brings tommy to the hospital room with soot all over his face, basically coming out to everyone including his parents. buck is showing he’s not anxious to let people know he’s queer anymore which is a huge contrast from 7x05.

certain 7x09 spec/response: eddie is shown after buck gets his award, this points to bvdd!e endgame because everyone else has their loved ones shown after their medals. tommy’s comment about “enjoy while is lasts” is rude and pointing to bucktommy bones. the still we thought was between eddie and buck isn’t right but! buck still shows up at eddies house to confront him, ditching tommy for eddie.

what actually happened: yes, each character has their loved ones shown on screen after their medals, but i think the reason they chose eddie for after buck was because he was the last one called and it easily fit as his named is called while he’s on screen. also no one denies eddie and buck love each other, it just may not be romantic. tommy’s comment perfectly shows how he and buck contrast each other but work very well together as well. it’s very black cat x golden retriever vibes between them from what we’ve been shown. it’s also mostly there to foreshadow the return of gerrard. buck doesn’t ditch tommy for eddie because buck doesn’t stay all night, surely it’s implied buck still went to tommy’s afterwards. buck goes to eddies because he’s genuinely worried for his friend, thats what friends do for each other, tommy can wait an hour more for buck it’s not a big deal.

certain 7x10 spec/response: buck is going to ditch his date with tommy for eddie. bucktommy bones!

what actually happened: eddie fucks up bad. buck is there for eddie because he’s a good friend. buck and tommy’s date isn’t interrupted at all, in fact it’s nice that it was squeezed into the episode to show were their relationship is currently at. tommy can tune into buck’s emotions, he can tell needs to say something and asks if he’s okay. they’re still on getting to know each other terms but are becoming comfortable sharing vulnerable things about themselves to each other. they’re also openly flirting and being sexually suggestive with each other. bucktommy bones… oh boy. they sure do.

after each speculation became untrue, proven wrong, people seemed to double down on their toxic behavior and hatred of a fictional couple/person because they weren’t getting what they wanted to the point of harassment towards cast, crew and other fans. now im not saying all bucktommy shippers are angels, but the hostile reaction of people from one subset of the fandom left a bad taste in my mouth. most accounts i enjoyed i ended up blocking due to toxicity and their outright bullying towards those who enjoyed bucktommy even if they still believed in bvdd!e endgame. no im not embarrassed of being a multishipper or ‘jumping ship’ (i still ship bvdd!e i’m just convinced it’ll stay fanon atm) it’s a completely normal thing to happen in fandom, it’s not a sin to begin liking other ships or to start shipping characters with other people that you previously shipped with someone else. there’s a reason people enjoy buck and tommy together and it’s not because we just want to see two men kiss, that argument is so overused and bullshit because mlm ships so prominent in fandom you could use that argument for literally every mlm ship in existence that you hate. despite the echo chamber certain toxic fans are in, bucktommy has been well received by the GA and other 911 fans who couldn’t care less about buck and eddie as a ship. overall, this does not mean your ship isn’t valid, canonicity is not the end all be all of ships, it’s about having fun and being creative. it’s when you start trying to deny canon and villainize characters/ships/shippers simply because it exists that causes people to start making posts exactly like this.

[scottsmajorshipbracket]

Hi, genuine question, but is Scott and Owen’s platonic or? I’m asking since I know they’re uncomfortable being romantically shipped with each other. I hope this doesn’t come off as aggressive or accusatory, I’m really bad with tone so I can’t tell a majority of the time

https://www.tumblr.com/mostlyinconvenient/699815059169378304/hey-i-havent-seen-anyone-else-put-this-clip-up?source=share

If you allow me to be blunt, I do not care what cc!Scott and cc!Owen preferences are. This is characters, not creators. I do not push it in the CCs' faces, and if they stumble upon the bracket or anything else I do in fandom, it is up to them to block me, keep scrolling, or choose to interact.

Indulging this question/concern for a second, I believe it is more complicated with shipping them than people realize. People were referring to both the CCs and the characters by default as "Copper Husbands". It made them uncomfortable because they have not chosen to be romantic via their characters nor are they romantic irl. This is in contrast to calling Scott and Jimmy "Flower Husbands" because they initiated romantic relationships as their characters and called their characters that. In response, the fandom has switched to defaulting on calling them "Copper Duo" (and perhaps another duo name I can't recall at the moment), which is respectful to the CCs and good on everyone for doing. This does not mean that we, as a fandom, are forced to stop shipping or are "not allowed" to ship Copper Husbands.

If you or anyone else want to ship a pairing and make/interact with the fan made content of said ship, you and everyone else should be able to (or "allowed to") without being shamed or made to feel unnecessarily guilty.

In addition, this blog attempts its best to take a neutral stance on ships regardless of the blog owner's own opinions. The bracket runs with the first 32 nominated Scott ships, regardless of what they are, as long as it isn't immoral/unethical such as person/animal, minor/adult, or something else like that. I am not here to make any sort of judgement on the validity of a ship. I simply acknowledge that the ship exists and run the bracket accordingly.

As a general rule of thumb, don't tag the creators if they haven't requested/encouraged it, don't force fan content into their faces via stream/etc, and tag your posts (especially shipping posts) correctly. The creators' interaction with the fan base as a whole and specific parts of fandom are up to them to maintain, just as it is with us personally. As a fandom, as long as we follow those general rules, there is nothing wrong with shipping the characters however we wish.

This and similar issues are more nuanced than people tend to realize, and it gets frustrating to have to defend things and explain myself over and over, but please know that I say this out of sharing an insight. This post is very /info /nm and not meant to be seen as an attack. Here are some tidbits I think people really should remember: live and let ship (aka live and let live), learn how to just scroll/filter out tags, the block button exists for a reason, someone else's opinions/preferences/etc do not affect you personally, and you do not have to interact with people you disagree with.

If what someone is doing doesn't cause harm to themself or others, then why do you care?

/info /nm /rhet /nbr /npa

Continuation of the conversation:

[smallishzine]

Just a small heads up, if you include shipping you may wanna make it clear that there are ships and what ships are there. A lot of people aren’t comfortable with shipping, especially since I’ve seen people say Joel thinks it’s a bit weird to be shipped with anyone other than Lizzie (needs to be fact checked, this is just what I’m seeing in boat boys comment sections). Maybe consider making the ship stuff a separate section or just telling people in advance (pinned post, bio, anywhere clear works) that it includes shipping so those who don’t like it can walk away.

important info about the zine plz read even if you didn’t send the ask:

thank you for the heads up! We’re about to get super rambly and vaguely off topic but we promise all your points get addressed. This is actually a great opportunity to clarify, because I realized I didn’t explain myself particularly clearly, if some one does choose to include shipping, its all going to have to be subtext (as always except for shadowbeans whose alternate ship name I still refuse to use), but that is for non-canon ships. Regardless of how people feel about it, c!Joel and c!Jimmy did in fact kiss in Real Life smp, and c!Joel and c!Sausage did in fact have a child together in esmp2, so we’re not gonna rewrite events. Basically when I say shipping in the context of this zine I mean taking relationships the c!Joel had with other people and creating moments that didn’t necessarily happen but feel plausible for the characters that are able to be interpreted as romantic as well as platonic. Also, everyone’s definition of ship art is different, so the level that I was thinking is pretty mild (and btw I’d like to interject here that this is not me dissing on shipping or ship art love shipping so much that I found a ship called the relation and I never left it, but I also know that people have all sorts of comfort levels with different things so this zine is going to be dry docked but I assure you that out there on my super secret personal blog we are very much lost at sea). Like, to give some examples of what would be okay versus not okay for the zine: kissing is pretty much off limits, honestly mostly because that’s a pretty boring zine piece, there’s nothing going on except the ship, but anything where any sort of romance is up to the interpretation, such as hugging, handholding, spending time with, these are all normal things, but also this can’t be the focus of the piece. Please no one just draw like Joel and someone hugging and call it a day. Implied shipping is allowed to feature in your piece, not be the main focus of it. That’s just not an interesting zine piece. Valid art/writing, still amazing stuff keep sharing it on the internet it’s very interesting, just not in the context of this zine. Anyway, you are correct about not everyone being comfortable with that stuff, so if any piece comes off as really shippy without violating the guidelines we’ll make sure to label it correctly, but also, I should make it clear, I’m really hoping that shipping doesn’t become the focus of this zine. It is a Joel zine, so Joel should remain the focus, and any shipping would be subtextual and not central to the zine. There are many great Joel ships out there with lovely content to consume, but that’s not really the focus of this zine. Also, that aside, if Joel doesn’t want his character (because we are talking about shipping cs here. Cc!Joel is a lovely person, but this zine is going to be in-character. Also while cc!Joel should absolutely be respected in what sort of fan content he wants people making about him, his character is, well, just that: a character. Its like saying you can’t ship two characters from an animated tv show because their irl voice actors aren’t comfortable being shipped. It’s just two different things) shipped with characters who don’t belong to his wife, he should probably stop making his c! kiss all those men. And have children with them. And send them love hearts in the mail. And call them babe. If he did it in canon it’s probably safe to say we’re good having them do it in fan content. But again shipping should be an extremely small part of the zine if it’s there at all and should be subtextual enough that even people who don’t ship can still positively engage with the zine!!! If it needs a warning, it’s probably too shippy.

also all this aside if I’m handling this wrong guys I’m sorry I’m only one person and it’s really stressful trying to please everybody I promise I’m trying my best but I just wanna get together with a bunch of other people who share this strange fascination with the bean man and make art and writing about it I don’t wanna get canceled or something I promise I’m trying my best. I’m really struggling to balance my love of creating shipping fan content and realizing that not everyone is comfortable with that and it’s really difficult and stressful I just can’t we all just draw and write what makes us happy I just want this to be a fun experience and being yelled at on the internet for drawing two characters who’s ccs aren’t in an irl relationship being something other than friends is not my definition of a good time. I’m not accusing you anon of doing anything like that the ask was very respectful but I’m worried this post will prompt less polite people to come and yell at me.

-mod Dinn

[andyling]

WAIT FUCK GUYS I JUST HAD A GREAT IDEA FOR A COMIC SERIES THAT WILL APPEAL TO ME AND MAYBE SOME OTHER PEOPLE BUT LIKE DEFINITELY TO ME IF DONE CORRECTLY

So like, y’know how Tim and Damien are kinda having a custody battle for the Robin title right now because DC never really managed to successfully give Tim his own identity? Well maybe we can have a series focused on exactly that, Tim finding a new hero identity. 

BUT THAT’S NOT ALL FOLKS, BECAUSE DO YOU KNOW WHO ELSE NEEDS A NEW HERO IDENTITY?

KON EL FUCKING KENT

Do I ship Tim and Kon? Yes. Do I understand that Tim is in a relationship with Bernard right now? Yes. Do I know that DC would never let the poly relationship happen? Yes. 

But guess what, I don’t give a fuck. I’m desperate here. These two don’t need to smooch I just need them to talk to each other and be best friends and go on adventures and figure their shit out. I MISS THEM. THEIR RELATIONSHIP DYNAMIC, EXCLUDING ANY ROMANCE, IS AMAZING AND I NEED MORE OF IT. 

Think about it, Kon and Tim know that Jon and Damien are going to take the mantles of “Superboy” and “Robin” and they have to learn to move on. They struggle to let go, they doubt whether they truly can make a name for themselves. So, they decide to leave Metropolis and Gotham. They separate themselves from the people that have defined their entire heroic lives. But both of them are afraid of being alone, so they go together. One last journey as Robin and Superboy. 

They travel the world together. They meet some familiar faces. 

Maybe they go visit Greta and Cissie and we get to see how their civilian lives are going. Perhaps the girls suggest that maybe the two need to let the hero life go. Maybe Tim and Kon even consider it, but they realize that being a hero is what they want to do. (AND THEY DON’T FIGURE IT OUT WHILE IN A FIGHT OR SOMETHING, NO THEY JUST FUCKING TALK. THEY BEAT SOME SHITHEAD UP AND THEN THEY TALK. WHY DID THEY BECOME HEROS? WHY DO THEY WANT TO KEEP BEING HEROS? GIVE THEM SOME FUCKING DEPTH DC I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD) 

Maybe they run into Anita. She’s found out that Slobo is alive and the three of them go to save him. (AND HE FINALLY GETS FUCKING RESCUED AFTER GETTING TRAPPED AS A CONCIOUS STATUE FOR SO FUCKING LONG FOR NO GODDAMN REASON I STILL CAN’T BELIEVE THAT WAS PUT IN THE FINALE FOR THE ORIGINAL YOUNG JUSTICE SERIES THAT LAST HALF OF THAT RUN SUCKED ASS AND EVEN IF YOU DON’T AGREE WITH ME ABOUT THAT WE SHOULD ALL AGREE THAT SLOBO DESERVED BETTER). There is a reunion and it’s sweet and happy and just a nice moment. 

Shenanigans ensure, blah blah blah. They meet more familiar faces, some friendlier than others. They meet new people that help them along their journey. They now fully understand what makes them different from other heros and how they want to put those skills to use. They know what kind of heros they want to be and are ready to pave a new path for themselves.

And at the end of it the two choose new names for themselves that are hopefully not stupid and are very cool and suits them. The two have a touching moment where they say just how much the other means to them. Then they hug, maybe kiss (sorry i’m delusional), and then go their separate ways. 

Tim returns to Gotham, returns to his family, and we get a nice little reunion between the bat family. He officially resigns as Robin and the first time his new hero identity is put into action is in Gotham with the rest of his family because no matter what, he’s still a bat. Tim, as a hero, does his thing and stops crime and keeps the city safe. However he also focuses his attention on the political and corporate corruption happening in not just Gotham city, but all around the world. He even uses his influence as Tim Drake-Wayne if it can help. Most people won’t know he’s the one digging up evidence and ensuring justice is served, but that’s okay. So long as people’s lives can be changed for the better, he’ll be happy. 

Kon returns to Metropolis and talks to Clark. They have a heart to heart conversation and Kon official gives up the title of Superboy. He then goes to Jon and Kon officially gives his mantle to him. Kon was the first Superboy and Jon will be a more than worthy successor. Unlike Tim, Kon doesn’t stay in his home city. He bounces around from place to place aiding whoever is need of his assistance, whether that be working with another hero to stop a villain or helping a small community recover from a devastating natural disaster. He may not have a home city like other heros, but he still has a home. That home is simply spread out all over the world. After all for Kon, home is wherever his friends are. 

We fast forward a few months. Tim and Kon meet up at the old Young Justice base. They joke about how much they hated each other when they first met, which leads into a serious conversation about much has changed. Despite everything, they both agree that they’ve changed for the better and will continue to keep improving themselves and their lives. And yet, even after all of that . . .

“Kon, we may have given up our old names, but we’re still a part of those legacies. No matter what the future has in store, there are some things that will never change. You’re my Superboy. Always will be.”

“And you’ll always be my Robin.” 

And the comic ends.