#I mean what I said at the end by the way

[graysanatimony]

I’m gonna have a wee rant about something and joker out will be mentioned 0.0

so last year I was in a really shitty friendship with a girl well call S, she did a lot of stuff that wasn’t very nice and the thing that is relevant to what this rant will be was that she didn’t let me have my own interests, I had to like the outsiders and the 80’s and that was it, she made fun of the fact that I liked Mcyt, Eurovision and other stuff like that so I was made to stop

last November I stopped talking to her, completely cut her off after she made fun of my other friends that she didn’t like

I then got into a bit of a rut mentally then but the thing that helped me the most I think was videos from Eurovision 2023, after the contest last year I didn’t do what I usually do and watch it a million times in a row cause she made fun of the fact that I liked it

the act I loved the most was, as you can probably guess, joker out

I watched compilation videos of them and loved them, I started listening to all their other songs, they are now the only artist that I listen to all of their songs, and they made me happier 

when I found out they had a series of videos about their journey to Eurovision I started watching them on repeat

Now I’ve stopped looking at as much stuff about Eurovision, it’s still an interest of mine but I’m just not like watching as many videos about it and stuff, but joker out is still a very large presence in my life

They have written the three only songs I can cry to, and I can never cry

They are one of the only artists I was willing to spend more than a pound in a charity shop for one of their CDs 

They are part of the inspiration for my style, at least when it’s warm

They are the reason I’ve found some wonderful people, the fandom is one of the least toxic I’ve been in, at least on tumblr

Tw: sh mention under cut, if you want to keep reading but don’t want to see that skip what is in between the bold, coloured bits 

I was in the some classes with satan for two years before we became close around October  2022 and that was shortly after I started SH,because of issues caused by other failed friendships 

 she saw the cuts on my arm and instead of worrying or something like a decent person might she yelled emo wrist check and gave me “advice” on how to get myself to bleed more, where it can’t be seen by my parents 

I was in a really shitty place mentally while being her friend and about a week before I cut her off, we had a fight and didn’t talk for a few days I had panicked cause I didn’t want to lose another friend and I relapsed, this was during Halloween or midterm break so we didn’t see each other cause we weren’t in school, about two days before we were meant to go back something happened that meant we were on good terms again but I can’t remember what exactly, and she asked me to hang out, so I went to her house and at one point she grabbed my arm and it hurt cause there were fresh-ish cuts there and she was like oh of course you would fucking do that you emo instead of what I think would have been the decent thing to do and say sorry and leave it there 

After I stopped talking to her I have only relapsed 3 times, once immediately after, once around January, and once 123 days ago

I am 123 days clean

And I am so fucking proud of myself for that

It isn’t that long but,I have worked hard to get here and I couldn’t have done it without my friends being so great, they may not know they helped me but they did

things like Eurovision and joker out helped so much with it too, there have been times I’ve felt so shitty and watching a video of joker out or listening to one of their songs has helped me get out of that, especially everybody’s waiting, I don’t know how to explain how that song helps so much it just does

Padam also does, it has caused me to breakdown in the shower more times than I can think of and that’s a good thing cause I am like a brick wall of emotion and that song is a fucking wrecking ball, just lets me cry when I need to and again I can’t explain this, it makes even less sense than everybody’s waiting cause I don’t speak the language 

My family likes to make fun of how much I like joker out and Eurovision and stuff and I don’t want to explain this to them cause they definitely won’t understand it all but like this silly wee band of 5 Slovenian guys might have saved me, this weird song contest did too

I never thought I’d say this about losing a friend but I’m glad it happened, if I was still friends with satan I would never have found joker out, may have never gotten back into Eurovision, I would never have found such a great community of amazing, wonderful people who are brilliant in every form of the word

If you made it this far thank you for listening to my ranting, you are amazing and better than any therapist I have had, to both the friends I have irl that are on tumblr and the amazing people I have found in my time here

I love you all <3 >:3

[letmetellyouaboutmyfeels]

I am incredibly serious right now when I beg you all, please, and if you have Twitter or Tiktok or whatever to please spread the word: click on an author's profile on Ao3.

You want to know if an author has written more? Want to know if they're still writing? Want to see more from them? Want to know if they've written a trope or kink or sex scenario you enjoy?

Click on their name. And look at their profile.

I cannot tell you how many times in the last six months someone has read a new or newer fic of mine and said they (a new reader who has read nothing else I've done) "can't wait to see what you do next!" I've written 50+ fics and over a million words already.

"I don't know if you're still writing..." click on my profile. I am. I literally wrote a 128k+ fic for that ship last month.

"Would you ever do X?" "Please do Y!" I already did. Click on my name and look at my works.

Archive of our Own is a library. It's an archive. Not social media. It is your responsibility to fight back against the laziness that corporate algorithms have trained into you.

Click my author name. Just click it. Just click it.

Before you demand more, or ask if a writer will do XYZ, or wonder if the author still writing, or anything - click on their profile. Click on the author's profile.

I'm not trying to be mean or condescending or anything like that. I'm just exhausted. It's disheartening and frustrating to repeat myself ad nauseam, because someone couldn't take thirty seconds to do the tiniest bit of work to see if I've written lately, if I've written more for their ship, or scan my works to see if I've written what they're asking for. Please. Please. I'm begging.

Click the author's name, and explore before you ask.

[liquidstar]

look this site really is awful for ppl with OCD so i just wanna reassure anyone that you are not Tainted Forever for consuming a piece of media with questionable content. the fact that youre able to recognize it speaks to your critical thinking skills, which is good, certain depictions should be critiqued. but you dont need to ruminate on it to the point where you begin to feel guilty for simply witnessing gross or creepy writing choices. you dont have to vindicate yourself to the fictional tumblr discourser inside your head, saying that youre now a bad person bc you watched the wrong anime. your actual response to it still matters of course, but thats that and this is this. just seeing it is neutral, you didnt commit a thought crime. its literally fine.

IF YOU ARE USING THIS POST TO ONLY FURTHER YOUR STUPID PEDANTIC BLACK-AND-WHITE DISCOURSE TO GET A "GOCHA" OVER THE OTHER SIDE YOU ARE THE PROBLEM. DON'T USE OUR DISORDER TO VINDICATE YOUR BEHAVIOR. THOUGHT CRIMES ARENT REAL BUT ACTIONS STILL MATTER. PEOPLE WITH OCD ARE CAPABLE OF THINKING CRITICALLY ABOUT OUR ACTIONS AND RESPONSES, EVEN WITH INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS AND RUMINATIONS. TREATING US AS IF WE CANNOT, ONLY TO FORCE US TO USE YOUR STRINGENT UNNUANCED DISCOURSE OPINIONS ABOUT "PURITY CULTURE" (TRIGGERING TO THOSE WITH OCD) AS THE ONLY REASONABLE GUIDE DOES MORE TO EXACERBATE OUR OBSESSIONS THAN HELP US. YOU ARE THE ISSUE AS WELL. YOU ARE ALSO THE TUMBLR DISCOURSER INSIDE OUR HEADS. DO NOT USE US FOR YOUR DISCOURSE. WE ARE PEOPLE, NOT HYPOTHETICALS TO USE TO EXPLAIN IF YOUR FROZEN INCEST FANFICTION IS OKAY OR NOT. TREATING US AS IF WE CANNOT AUTONOMOUSLY HAVE OUR OWN OPINIONS ON WHEN MEDIA IS TANGIBLY HARMFUL IS ABLEIST. FORCING US TO ABIDE BY YOUR IN-GROUP'S SET OF UNEQUIVOCAL MORALS IS ABLEIST. ACTING AS THOUGH THE ONLY SOLUTION FOR US IS MINDLESS MEDIA CONSUMPTION IN WHICH "EVERY DEPICTION OF XYZ, NO MATTER HOW POORLY DONE OR EXPLOITATIVE, IS ALWAYS OKAY AND IF YOU DISAGREE YOURE ACTUALLY AN EVIL 'ANTI'" IS ABLEIST. THOSE ARE THE SAME BLACK-AND-WHITE MORALS THAT SEND US INTO OBSESSIVE SPIKES, BUT FLIPPED. A SET OF MORALS IN WHICH QUESTIONING THE IMPACT OF A PIECE OF WORK MAKES YOU AN "EVIL CONSERVATIVE PURITAN "ANTI"" DOES NOT HELP MORAL OCD.

YOU ARE THE DAMN TUMBLR DISCOUERSERS MAKING THIS SHIT WORSE FOR US! YOURE THE EXACT SAME BUT WITH FLIPPED BUZZWORDS! YOU'RE MISSING THE WHOLE DAMN POINT!

[shepscapades]

This one was a freaking doozy. If I keep talking i think i may be in trouble

[lunacias]

statement of jonathon sims, regarding a childhood encounter with a book formerly possessed by jurgen leitner

[reineydraws]

had to draw this to understand the way i feel about him now that the manga's ended. 🥲 on that note: if you like hawks and his ending, maybe don't read my tags lol. it's not bashing (imo) but they're not v nice. 😅

bg + unobstructed pose under the cut!

his expression's a lil different 'cuz i only changed the merged layer, all the lighting effects already flattened onto it. 💀 alas.

[shierak-inavva]

it’s been so hot lately i’m daydreaming about winter 😭

[sideblogdotjpeg]

ive been thinking about the red string superstition recently and also sol bufo always and it makes me sick how uncannily caldwell tanner has made sol to perfectly target me personally

(+ cropped versions !)

[budd-ie]

“Mu Qing is too logical for his own good” is such a real problem that he deals with and as tragic as it makes his life I also think it’s really funny when someone is accusing him of something and instead of telling them to shut up or leave him alone the first thing he does is pull out the 95 fucking theses detailing every single thing wrong with their argument WITH historical evidence and additional considerations from scholarly psychology articles, MLA format works cited and completely annotated. It could use an editor and some bias correction, but he actually makes a pretty good point. anyways tgcf ace attorney au when

[daily-crowley]

Crowley Of The Day: gorgeous 😍

(I used up all my hashtags that I couldn’t do my usual GO tags that I always do lol I don’t care)

[messangerforthestars]

“We need more morally gray characters” you guys can barely handle topaz and jade.

[conanssummerchild]

unpopular opinion but i dont really think it was bad of rick to make rickbot. i mean he was falling back into his obsession with finding rick prime so he made a replacement for himself as to not completely disappear from morty's life the way he did from beth's (well the way he did from beths in other dimensions, since his own beth died ig) if he tried to act normal while being completely consumed by trying to find rick prime he wouldve probably been even more of a bad grandpa than he usually is, so he replaced himself, maybe morally its not the most correct but like its a step up from completely disappearing, he actually thought of morty this time, which i think speaks volume for his character development idk. and i mean he said it all himself in the last scene of that episode. he refers to it as "my darkness", which is accurate, he says "hunting him destroyed me" which is why he didnt want to include morty in it im assuming, "its going to take over your life morty" "maybe trying to stay healthy while doing it" "its the most painful shit ive ever had to deal with" like he was actually taking morty into account for once dude, im not saying rick is like perfect and im very aware hes done super fucked up shit, i just dont think this is an example of it

[flustersnaggle]

THE WORLD, FULL OF INFINITE POSSIBILITIES

aurelia aquareine (she/her), sage of alchemy — cheerful // creative // perfectionist

general: face skinblend // facekit 1 // facekit 2 // face highlights (highlight N1) // face undertones // hairline // brows // eye preset // lashes // eye base // eye sparkle // eyeshadow (eyeshadows N9 glitter only) // eyeliner // blush—... hey, where did it go? // mouth corners // teeth // body preset // skinblend (skin N13 overlay) // skin tints // nails // wrist tattoo everyday: hair (my wedding stories) // hat (helia hat V3) // earrings // choker // dress // boots formal: hair (my wedding stories) // earrings // necklace // lipstick // dress (high school years) // arm bracelet (realm of magic) // shoes (base game) athletic: hair (fashima fro) & headwrap overlay // earrings (base game) // top (throwback fit) // shorts (daisy shorts V1) // socks (artemis socks) // shoes (incheon arrivals) sleep: bonnet (V2) // robes (vintage glamour) // shoes (spa day) party: hair (lisa low fro) // earrings (ashley earrings) // necklace (poolside splash) // lipstick // dress (naomi dress) // bracelets // shoes swimwear: hair (pam puff V1) // top (island living) // bottom (base game) // bracelet (base game) // feet hot weather: hair (penny puff V3) // earrings (base game) // top (eco lifestyle) // shorts (realm of magic) // bracelet (base game) // shoes (incheon arrivals) cold weather: hair (lisa low fro) // hat (seasons) // earrings // coat // gloves (get to work) // shoes (get together) extras: poses 1 & potion // poses 2 // poses 3 // realm of magic icons rip

thank you! — @atomiclight, @pyxiidis, @okruee, @ddarkstonee, @serawis, @sayasims, @meghewlett, @obscurus-sims, @miikocc, @pralinesims, @xiamdeathx, @goppolsme, @squea, @magic-bot, @crilender, @ms-marysims, @clumsyalienn, @raccoonium, @philosimy, @mysteriousdane, @crypticsim, @sheabuttyr, @aharris00britney, @ayoshi, @mapleseed, @qwertysims, @arethabee, @sentate, @lady-moriel, @makesims, @dearie-sim, @hula-zombie

[vaugarde]

im abt to rb a post on this anyways but tbh i dont know how you can finish isat and go “siffrin wasnt punished enough”.

the fella has killed themselves several times, what more do you want from him?

[cent-scratchnsniff]

it was just going to be a few warmup doodles but then she infected the rest of the page like the ever eternal and spreading spores. hod!!! hod. hod :)

[roots-symphony]

do you think the reason agatha’s trial felt weird is because she was the only one who did not actually buy into the mythos of the road since she knew the truth? like that was why no perspective change and all the other reasons why people thought it was a fake trial