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#I mean there was some drama (not involving me) so it left a strange feeling
serdtse · 18 days
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archivalofsins · 10 months
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This is proably going to be rude and petty as hell. Hence why it's not going in the tag but-
I love how some of the reaction to the information from Deep Cover has been people just want to frame her in a bad light without considering or even attempting to analyze the reasons behind her behavior. As though these same individuals weren't literally just harassing people for analyzing her character in ways they did not like.
Yet, now, they're asking for people to analyze her more to find out what?
What people were able to fucking discern from her previous statements regarding children before she just blatantly said she jumps kids?
20/06/18 Amane: Thank you very much for teaching me. ……but, though I realise it’s strange me saying this after I asked you, I must admit it’s kind of unexpected. You give off the impression of someone who wouldn’t want to get involved in things like this. Kotoko: ……well, you’re not wrong. I’m surrounded by people who could all be murderers, so I don’t plan on going out of my way to talk and make friends. I can’t let my guard down. But I like ambitious people like you. If you want to study more, then I’m happy to teach. Amane: I see…… You look scary at first impression, but I quite like the way you treat everyone equally regardless of whether they’re older or younger than you. You don’t just treat me like a child or anything like that. Kotoko: Treat you like a child? Hah, you’ve got to be kidding. Back when I was your age, I was already the person I am today. I don’t have any plans to let you get away with something just “because you’re a child.” ……remember that. There, I’ve finished marking. 83%. How do I put it… Even though you act like this, it’s not like you’re super brilliant at studying or anything, huh.
The fuck- How does that make any sense? What are people supposed to analyze? Shit that isn't there?
I can look at a cube for several hours but that's not going to make it a sphere.
Get the fuck out of here. Like no it is not okay to go crying about nuance now when it's convenient to a character you like while ignoring it in Amane's case. All while people who do take the time to analyze these things and take them seriously get continually harrassed for doing so in ways that frame prisoners too negatively. Yet, now that the negative part has been blurted out for all to see we need analysis.
No, people just need someone to find a reason why she's still redeemable. As I've been saying and will continue to say if your forgiveness is contingent upon someone being a good person who you can morally agree with that is not forgives that is just an agreement. That is just a deal.
By forgiving for that reason one is going I expect this other person to behave in ways that will be pleasing to me so I think what they did is fine. Something that only leaves room for disappointment when that person does not turn out to be as moral as one believed them to be.
Add to this that others have been continually harassing people within this community that theorize about characters in a way they personally don't find appealing or see as framing them too negatively. Like yeah no one wants to analyze her. Yeah people are happy she just went on her voice drama and said the quiet part out loud again for the people in the back that didn't hear her when she said it in 2020.
That ship has sailed it's left the harbor because-
"Kotoko isn't a real person, she doesn't actually have thoughts and feelings. Come on; it's not as serious as you're making it. Of course, she's going to be reduced to being violent when she acts violent. She's just two dimensional after all. I mean did you hear her in Mikoto's voice drama when she attacked him? Did you hear her new voice drama?! Or see what happened to the prisoners she admits to attacking during the intermission-"
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"Amane aside she even threatened Mikoto and Kazui too."
22/08/05 (Kazui’s Birthday) Kotoko: ……Mukuhara Kazui. Thanks to you, I wasn’t able to properly serve justice to those who did something unforgivable. I’m currently acting as an agent for our prison guard Es. Don’t get in my way next time. Kazui: Oi oi, don’t be silly, Yuzuriha-chan. There’s no way I could just look away from your outrageous display of violence. Anyway, even disregarding the fact violence against those voted guilty isn’t a part of Milgram’s system, what you’re doing is just acting recklessly based on a broad interpretation. As long as I’m free myself, I’ll stop you. Kotoko: ……what a pointless argument. Hmph. Since Es forgives you, I have no choice but to forgive you myself too. If you're to keep to your word, then you’d best do what you can to keep being forgiven. If you’re not, then next time you’ll be one of my targets. Kazui: Oh, how scary. That girl truly is frightening. ……well then, I wonder what the guard will decide to do with me. That’s the one thing I really can’t make out. Honestly…… 22/12/15 (Kotoko’s Birthday) Mikoto: Ah, Koto-chan. It’s been a while. Both of us have kinda split off from the group, but how’ve things been? A lot’s happened, but fr now let’s try to get along. I mean, it’s your birthday today, right? I got the feeling nobody else was going to do anything, so I came to celebrate. Kotoko: ……how carefree. It doesn’t matter, a villain like you won’t be forgiven next time either. And when that time comes, it’ll be the end for you. I’ll make sure of it myself. Mikoto: Ahh?? Just try and do it, you nutjob. I’ll crush anyone who hurts me…… You’re gonna be totally beaten at your own game……![TN: The word “me” here uses first person pronoun “boku”.] Kotoko: Hm. The border between the two is getting a lot vaguer. Your entire existence is a crime. And I will see you’re punished for it. That is what Milgram, and Es, and I have chosen.
"I mean she's even heavily armed."
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"We've gotta think about safety- Right~?"
People should keep the energy they gave in mind before it gets returned to sender.
I don't want to see anyone asking for nuance now that was behaving the way I saw before when it came to other trials. It's not that serious it's all in good fun, my verdict doesn't say anything about me, keep that energy. Then on top of that don't expect people you've consistently met with hostility and disrespect to make your case for you when you need it.
Just because it would be helpful for the characters you favor. Literally no one wants to analyze her because some people within this fandom have made analyzing Milgram feel like a wholly unsafe thing to do. The people who like Kotoko's character regardless of her flaws have something that none of the others who favored the prisoners before this point did-
A full month before her music video releases and her trial starts to figure out how to explain this behavior. I say let them figure it out. However, people claiming no one wants to look at Kotoko's situation with nuance are either being disingenious or haven't seen the constant bullshit people who analyze these characters actually go through.
For people like that I only have one thing to say,
Do it yourselves then. It's a lot of work, it's thankless, but analyzing things is fun. Exploring the media one enjoys and figuring out why they enjoy it is fulfilling. Not only that it's something anyone can do. Be the nuance you want to see instead of complaining about people not giving you the answers you want to hear.
Because again I can look at a cube for several hours but that is not going to make it a sphere.
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iamskadhi · 5 months
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Story of a villain - Part 1
Hello and goodnight (I'm assuming you're looking for a little reading before bedtime)
DABI STANS, it is my pleasure to release the little something I've been working on for a while.
As I mentioned before: it has male POV, a little explicit smut, drama (obviously) and I also made a conexion to the first fanfic that I posted (family and quirk of the female lead)
This is a long story , but I try to use the light novel format to make it a quick reading so a lot of things will happen this is not just some "smut" fic, this is a whole fanfiction.
This is just the first part and it has over 7000 words.
I'm not sure about the title though because he's not a villain here but we'll get there, I promise.
Also, I would like to give a name to our female lead - she has one - but I'm not sure if readers would like it. Lately, I've read a lot of "you" and "y/n" on all of the fanfics platforms and I'm insecure about naming original characters so I just changed it to "babe" or simply erased it from the sentence.
I think that's pretty much it, feel free to send me messages to correct mistakes, english isn't my first language so there must be a lot of parts that don't make sense.
PART 1
“Do you ever feel… scared of me?” I asked.
“I often feel scare of losing you forever, why?”
“Not that, I mean afraid of me, like if I would ever physically hurt you”
“Wha-why? What did I do? What happened?” she looked at me completely confused, she was making coffee while I was making French toasts for breakfast.
“You’re not getting it”
I shook my head and she came closer.
“No, I do. I’ve never been scared of you, Dabi. Don’t be weird, hon”
“Not even when we first met? I know I’m not exactly good-looking — or good at all. I know what I look like and I notice what other girls say, the way they look at me…”
“You notice other girls?” she looked straight into my soul for a second.
“You know what I mean, missy” I poked her forehead “Don’t ravel my words”
“You’re burning the French toasts”
“Shit, shit, shit” I turned the stove off.
She took a deep breath.
“Are you leaving again?” she asked.
I shook my head.
“Have you been watching doramas?”
“No” I chuckled.
“Good, I hate those things, half the problems are caused by miscommunication, so please, pleeease tell me why would you think I’ve ever felt scared of you?”
“I already told you, you didn’t listen”
“Touya” she only used my real name when she was pissed “I love you, why would you care about other people staring or whispering dumb shit about your looks?”
“I don’t know”
When I was seventeen, I met the strangest girl in Japan. I didn’t know all of the girls but I was sure, she was strange, not simply weird or chaotic, strange; and the reason she was so strange is because she liked me.
I liked her too… Well, I loved her.
The thing is I cannot stay with her, no matter how much I want to or how much she begs for it; but I would rather die than letting her go, therefore I just come and go all the time.
Surprisingly, she waits for me. I only left twice since I met her, for a few months — two, five — and in different occasions I only disappeared because I needed to make my own money and I don’t want her to be involved in anything that I do, so I leave for a couple of days, maybe a week each month.
The first time I left because I got scared, I was getting too attached to her cold hands and warm kisses, I used to sneak in her house and we’d cuddle in her bedroom, she less than a year younger but we liked each other madly and eventually we had sex. I never thought I could feel that much.
“Will you still like me after this?” she asked the first time.
“I think I like you even more,” I mumbled.
Her bright eyes widened, she gave me a breathtaking kiss.
“Can we do it again?” she asked.
She kept my brittle heart warm and we ablaze her bed together. We grew up together and went from sneaking in and out from her parent’s house to going to underground clubs and bars and it was enough, for me it was enough.
She wanted more and she deserved it, I just couldn’t do it.
“You make me feel like a fool waiting for you,” she said one night before falling asleep.
Now that we were older, I’d come to her apartment, spend the night together and we’d have breakfast before she’d go to work, a good work at her father’s company. I used to pace the apartment before leaving.
I meditated a lot about my feelings about us; I knew it wasn’t exactly scare of commitment. We knew the type of relationship we had, that was clear and I was all in it. She was pretty, affectionate, loyal and I… well, I was use to give 200% of myself in everything I do.
“Take your name back, I’ll help you,” she said one afternoon at her favorite coffee shop.
“I can’t”
Because of that, I was scared
She belonged to me; she became my home. No words needed, I thought, I think she knows. I didn’t feel like I could – no, I didn’t want to fit in her perfectly normal life.
I could go anywhere I wanted, but I’d keep running back to her and every time she’d open her door for me; caress me, kiss me and make love like if it was the last time.
“We could run away together” she used to say before falling asleep.
Every now and then, she would say: “Let’s run away, let’s get out of this country, I’ll go anywhere you go” but never insisted a lot; maybe she was afraid that if she was too clingy I’d run away on my own.
Maybe I needed her to cling onto me to stay. Who could know?
I liked watching her sleep, I would wake up in the middle of the night and I could feel time moving, I’d put my hand on her breathing chest just to make sure she was real.
“Do you remember my friend Hana?” she said randomly one morning while making coffee, “she’s a med student and she has a healing quirk, I was thinking she could help to regenerate your skin. Only if you want to, my love”
“Why?”
I didn’t think it was possible but I wouldn’t mind if it was.
“Well — I just thought, it could help you to look and feel better, even if it’s for a short time…” she was murmuring but I could hear, she had something in mind but she wasn’t gonna say.
“Okay” I agreed and she smiled, I hugged her tightly and kissed her forehead.
Every morning she would get her cup of coffee and become a kitten. Then she’d go to work and I’d stay a little longer and turn the housewife mode on. She didn’t know though.
It was fun. In my imagination it was the other way round, I liked picturing a different life while cleaning: I’d go to work at my father’s hero agency and she’d be a lovely housewife, by now we’d have our first kid, hopefully a girl, by God’s grace she’d have my sister’s temper!
She would be calm, nerdy, sweet and beautiful as her mother. Of course, this was all in my imagination.
I hated thinking about my family, but I liked the idea of us starting a family. One completely different to the family that I had, one where no one is use and discarded. However, it’s never going to happen. Not only because I stopped living by my name, but also because both her parents knew about me — and they loathed me.
At first, her mother made a scandal, she screamed and punched a maid in the face out of anger, and then her father talked to me in private, he handled it better than I expected.
“Whatever phase she’s going through I don’t give a fuck, you better never knock her up, I’ll strangle you myself if you dare”
He had balls and I respected that, at least enough — but only because I loved her.
Around seven years later, that phase wasn’t over and they were getting impatient, her mom would come to her apartment and change the door’s password (as if I needed it) on random days. The last time I was still there.
“You, get out. Now” she commanded and just as I crossed the door, she ranted: “Just because we work hard to keep this a secret doesn’t mean we’ll ever accept you, I’ll find a good suitor soon and she’ll marry him, get out of her life already!”
I sighed.
“I work just as hard to keep my manners, ma’am.” I lighted my hand with blue flames. She gasped.
“Are you threatening me?”
I just walked away. I don’t do threats.
About an hour later, I got a bunch of “sorry” messages and a phone call.
“I swear I’m gonna change the whole fucking door if it’s necessary… even better! I’m moving out and will never give her my new address so we can fully live together, you won’t have to leave the house if you don’t want to”
She started a whole speech about living together, I could imagine her walking in circles and moving her free hand all around and it made my day just listening but a life like that… it was impossible.
“You still coming home tonight, right?”
“I got a lot of things to do, babe”
“Wanna go out?”
I laughed.
“It’s Tuesday, you have work tomorrow, just eat your dinner and go to bed”
“Did you cook?” she asked happily.
“Yeah, probably”
“Did you burn it?”
“You’ll find out, send me a pic before you go to bed”
“Of course. I love you”
“Me too”
I’d never say “I love you” on the phone, it was too embarrassing, but she was fine with it.
A week later, she caught me off guard. It was her day off and her friend Hana came over.
“I don’t know how you manage to live here, it took me forever to get to this floor and I used the elevator! Oh, OH! He’s here! Good morning, Dabi!”
I suddenly remembered how talkative Hana is.
“Morning”
I met Hana when they were in high school — they were childhood friends. At first, Hana was cautious when I was around, she used to leave us alone almost immediately, I think Hana might have tried to talk her out of this, but obviously it didn’t work.
I don’t know when we started to get along.
“Good morning, sunshine!” my baby greeted her playfully.
“Good morning! You’re having breakfast, am I early? Really? You woke up late, it can’t be me. Can I have some? I ate before coming but I spend a lot of energy to come, the subway, the cab, the goddamn elevator, I’m starve!”
Hana was like a shot of espresso, and my babe is a caffeine maniac.
“I made extra, sit down please” my baby served two plates, orange juice and coffee just for Hana.
Hana’s quirk required her own energy to heal others if I’m not wrong, I realized why I didn’t have to make breakfast this morning.
“So you’re a med student,” I said casually.
“I’m resident already” Hana took a sip of orange juice.
“A what now?” I was in disbelief “Did you bribe her?”
“Not yet” she smiled.
“Oh, shut up” Hana laughed “I was just lucky my quirk is too useful and we’ve been friends for a long time. I know you both if I’m allowed to say so and also I’m curious about what you’d look like if I can fix at least those patches under your eyes”
They had a lot to catch up while Hana was eating; I kept bringing plates to the table just to make sure they had enough time to talk and create my chance to disappear.
I made my way to the door and Hana caught me.
“Where do you think you’re going, sir?”
“We ran out of orange juice”
“We have enough orange juice, go lay on the couch now,” my love commanded and I obeyed.
For a moment, I thought at least Hana would be quite while using her quirk, but she was like a radio host.
She required physical touch and her eyes analyzed me as if she could see right through my burned flesh.
“The damage is too deep, I don’t know if I can fix your tear ducts, you can close your eyes and don’t worry, it doesn’t hurt” she was narrating every single step while massaging both of my burned patches of skin under my eyes. “I’m removing your dead cells, I know it feels weird.”
I felt a little tickles but not enough to laugh.
“This isn’t exactly regenerating, you can’t bring back to life a cell once that is dead, but I can put your living cells to work and create new ones while removing death skin with this massage. This might take a while, but trust the process”
A few minutes later she washed her hands, my babe bought iced coffee and sweets, and Hana kept working hard on fixing my mess.
“You can go and watch a movie on TV, dear, you don’t have to keep feeding me, we’ll be fine,” Hana said.
“I’m starting to feel bad for giving you work on the little free time you have”
“It’s okay, I’m serious”
“Well… I… if you need anything just ask” she said before going to the bedroom.
“Talking requires energy too, you know,” I mumbled when she massaged my neck.
“It feels weird touching people like this in complete silence; you could talk if you want me to shut up”
“I have nothing to share with you, sorry”
“Well, you’ve been dating my best friend for a long time, we’re adults now and I’d like to know how serious you are about your future”
“Are you her mom?”
“I am concerned,” she admitted.
I opened my eyes, she gave me her more serious gaze and she was the type of girl that stops mid-walking just to say “hi” to all the kittens. She meant it.
“Concerned about what?”
“A lot of things! I don’t know your real name” she started a whole speech but kept working on my skin with a little more pressure as if she was prepared for this, “I know you’ve been an important part of her life since high school, you’re practically a pillar! When I first saw you I thought she was in big troubles, but you’re good to her in your own way; you don’t take anything from her and you keep her centered, you cook for her and…”
“So? Where’s the ‘but’ I’m waiting for?”
She stopped massaging my skin.
“I don’t know, I never dated anyone, but another friend just got engaged and I thought… when will I go to my best friend’s wedding?”
She sighed.
“I can’t do that”, I said.
Her eyes turned to knives figuratively, I was sure a thousand ways to kill me were running inside her mind.
“But my name is Touya”
I was surprised when she smiled.
“Good enough, I’ll take that for now” she took something out of her purse “And by the way, you’re really handsome, Touya. I bet she knew before anyone else”
Hana handed me a mirror, her fingertips had pieces of my burned skin stacked but she didn’t seem to mind at all. I was speechless when I saw my reflection; I couldn’t even see the parts where my skin used to be parted.
I touched the staples and piercings I had to keep it all together.
“I didn’t remove them because I suppose you’ll use your quirk again even though you shouldn’t”
“Thank you”
By now, she completely regenerated my face’ skin and half of my neck. She kept working in silence; she started to look tired but didn’t stop.
It took her over six hours to regenerate my skin from the neck down to my chest, she worked hard and it showed.
“I heard silence and I got worry, how’s it gooo… oh my god, Hana!”
“The devil’s in the details! I’d like to help a little more but I’m exhausted”
“You can take a nap here,” my babe pointed out the room.
“Oh no, I’m sure you’d like some alone time right now. I’ll have more coffee before leaving and can I have some toasts?”
“Everything inside my fridge is yours, you earned it”
Hana almost leaped from the living room to the kitchen, she was tired and starving but managed to keep her cool — and now I admired her, but I wouldn’t admit it out loud. My babe sat next to me and touched my face carefully.
“How does it feel?” she asked me, rubbing the back of her hand on my cheek.
“Soft. Good”, I admitted. “Can you go out and buy something for me?”
“Of course, my love, what do you need?”
After some instructions (and snacks), my babe and Hana were going out the door when she tried to give her something.
“Oh no, it’s okay, I just ate everything in your kitchen”
“This is for your silence”, she said resolute.
“Oh I see”, Hana mumbled and took it.
When she came back home, she helped me to bleach my hair. I was drying my hair with a towel in front of the mirror and barely believed my eyes, my whole face and now my white hair… it was as if nothing ever happened; except for the staples.
“My love, are you okay?” she knocked the door.
I lost the words when I opened the door and saw her big bright eyes and her pupils dilated, it felt so good as if I was reborn.
“Just for now, call me Touya,” I said taking her hand and pulling her closer to me.
“Touya… Can I kiss you now?”
“We’re so doing more than that”
We started kissing, she slipped her tongue into my mouth and I picked her up, tangled her legs around my hips, and touched my cheeks with her cold hands. It always felt nice. I took her to the bedroom; she was breathless when I put her down.
“You shouldn’t have put on any clothes,” she said while taking my jeans down.
“You should’ve take yours off before knocking the door”
I undid her blouse.
“Yeah, no more talking, okay?” she mumbled while turning around and took her pants down. Put her elbows on the bed, her back perfectly arched.
“Straight to the point?” I sighed and pulled her head up by her hair “But I want you to keep looking at my face right now”
“You’re feeling kinky, will you talk dirty?”
I licked her neck as she turned around, I gently caressed her clitoris with one finger.
“I won’t make any promises”
She ran her hands through my hair. Sparkling eyes locked in mine. Her warm breathe hit my neck.
“Fine, but don’t stop” she said.
I kissed my way down on her until I was on my knees, caressing her thighs with my hands and I looked up grinning when I licked her most sensitive spot.
When I heard her heavy breathing, I pushed her gently on the bed, I got up to see her naked body and licked my lips while caressing her vulva with my fingers; she was beautiful, wet and warm. I did my best to resist the urge to go deep inside her.
Missionary was not her favorite position but right now I felt like spoiling her a little more than usual. She tangled her legs on my hips, tempting me, and clawed her fingers on my back - up and down - impatiently while making out.
I took her wrists with one hand and put them up her head on the pillow.
“You’re being mean” she whispered with puppy eyes.
“I thought I was spoiling you,” I said while running my tongue over her nipples.
“Yes, you are, I might get accustomed”
I laughed; she was so strange. She led one of her hands down to my dick.
“Put it in”
I shook my head and she pushed my body and rolled us to be on top.
“Do it now”
“We ran out of condoms last night”
“What?!”
She suddenly turned all shy, her cheeks were blushing and she covered her breasts.
“Why didn’t you tell me when I went to buy your hair bleach?”
“I remembered just now, but you can sit on my face”
A sly grin made the timid woman disappear, she came over and I clawed my fingers on her ass while I run the tip of my tongue through her, different paces at different spots - gently where she was sensitive and rough where she wasn’t - and she wiggled her hips slowly, enjoying it.
All I could see from between her legs was her upper body bounce, heard her whispered sighs and I reached my hand down to touch myself. She was at the edge of coming done and she was gorgeous, I wanted to feel it but I had to settle with my hand.
I focused on her clitoris with the tip of my tongue and caressed her hips with my other hand, her knees were trembling, her hands reached my hair, I closed my eyes.
“Da… bi” she stuttered whispering. Her body lost control, turned weaker. “Touya”
I could see it in my mind. I introduced two fingers inside her; tickling her sensitive spot to help her more and with one last swipe of my tongue on her clitoris, she was done.
By now I had memorize every inch of her face when she had an orgasm and it always made me feel so satisfied and amazed as if it was the first time. Being able to make her feel this way was like a prize, I felt like if I was made for this and only this, the rest of the world stopped moving for that moment.
She pulled away unsteady, she kissed me sucking my tongue inside her mouth —I was sure she could taste herself and she liked it, she liked leaving me breathless; I felt like I could die and I wouldn’t mind it.
“Let me help you” she whispered as she went down on me.
After I finished, we cuddled and she fell asleep but I woke up. Just stared at the ceiling, time moved slowly, I had a bad feeling and wanted to get up and get some fresh air.
“Your heart’s racing” she whispered, “are you anxious?”
“I just need air”
We got up, put on some clothes and she opened the window, I took a deep breath.
“What’s wrong?” she asked me, concerned.
I didn’t know, shook my head in silence and she embraced me gently.
“Wanna go out for a walk? Let’s buy some groceries,” she suggested. I touched my face. “I bought some masks in case you didn’t want to go out like this”
We got ready to go for a walk; she put on a mask too.
“We’re spies now!” she exclaimed playful like a kid.
“You’re so cute” I caressed her hair.
“What? Spy ladies are sexy”
“Dummy”
“Let me be” showed me her middle finger; I took her hand and intertwined our fingers, after leaving the building we wandered around for like thirty minutes. It was getting dark.
Everything was normal, I looked around, nobody was looking at us or at least at her, I usually walk behind her to elude the attention she gets. My babe was like a daydream, I used to walk with my head down and pretend she didn’t draw the attention of other misfits like me - but that was the inescapable truth.
She suddenly pointed a convenience store.
“Let’s buy some juice or strawberry milk”
“Sure”
We walked in and I took the mask off my face. A trio of little girls wearing uniforms giggled and whispered to each other and she noticed too.
“Hey, don’t do that! You’re too gorgeous, it’s not fair”
I took her mask off and cupped her face with my hand.
“You’re the pretty face in this relationship, you know that. Go and get your strawberry milk”
“That’s for you, I want an iced coffee,” she said while walking to the aisle. “Grab some chips or instant ramen”
“Yeah”
I was looking for her favorites when the door opened again and I heard a girl’s voice that caught my attention, her words shook the back of my mind:
“Natsu, can we buy some soju? I miss it”
“If you find it we can, you know that,” he answered.
I froze standing there. It can’t be. There must be a thousand guys named Natsu in the area, it can’t be that Natsu, I thought.
I saw a glimpse of white hair moving towards the aisle I was. “Move”, I thought, “move, you piece of…”.
“Hey, Touya, they have mango flavored…” she appeared in front of me unexpectedly and I pulled her and tucked her in my arms.
I saw him and he looked at me for a moment. Natsu and that girl stood right in front of me for only a few seconds but it felt like an hour, he looked just like dad.
“My love? You okay?”
“Let’s go” I said and dragged her to the counter.
I paid and we left the store behind in a rush. I felt the anger heating inside my chest, we would not go home but I couldn’t leave her like this. Maybe that was the bad feeling I had before. We walked to the nearest park, the cold air felt nice, but I felt like shit.
I told her about Natsu.
“I noticed him too, he does look like… that man… but don’t resent him for not recognizing you – even if he saw the resemblance, he grew up thinking his big brother’s dead, he must feel really confuse right now”
I knew she was right, but it wasn’t fair.
“I know” I whispered. I was so mad about the whole situation. “But it still hurts”
The way that I froze and he stared as if his eyes were knives on my chest. My left eye burnt and I felt my cheek wet. I touched it: a single tear shed.
“Touya” she hugged me and buried my face in her shoulder.
“Hana’s quirk is amazing,” I admitted as I felt more tears falling.
“She’s the best”, she agreed.
The last time I cried I was thirteen and set everything on fire, so I pulled away from her and did my best to calm down — but my eye burnt with each tear until it finally stopped. I supposed I burned my tear ducts again.
We stayed at the park for a couple hours, on the way home she reminded me to buy a box of condoms. Usually, we would take turns in the shower, she liked hot water and I liked it cold (my burnt flesh couldn’t stand hot water), but tonight she was clingy and tried to bathe with me.
“I can do this,” she said “I can do this! Tell me I can do this”
“You can’t”
Her naked body was shaking in front of me; I couldn’t lie to her face. She jumped out of the shower the next second and waited to get a hot shower.
“I’ll be working at home these next days,” she announced.
“That’s convenient”
Hana gave me strict instructions to avoid using my quirk for at least a week: “wear SPF 1,000,000 if possible or simply stay indoor during daytime, you’re my masterpiece right now, take care of your skin please,” she said.
“You didn’t leave,” she murmured, “I thought you’d leave me alone at the park”
“It crossed my mind,” I admitted “but I think I make the same mistake every time. I guess I should start doing things right”
“What does it mean? You’ll stay?”
I noticed the excitement in her voice; bit my lip.
“I might try”
Is it enough? I thought. She was settling for less than what she deserved once more.
“I’d like that” she said.
It was too late and she had to work tomorrow morning, but that did not stop us. I supposed I could never give her peace, but she was okay with that; or at least she was good at pretending it was okay.
Spending the day watching TV while she’s working wasn’t exactly my idea of staying with her, but I felt like a dog when I sat next to her and laid my head on her shoulder so I had to do something.
She was typing fast on her laptop, I examined her concentrated face, and it was a mixture of depression with a little rage.
“So… when will you take a break?” I asked her.
“Around ten, I hope”
Barely took her gaze away from the screen. She was sitting at the kitchen island, if I cook anything it would distract her and I didn’t want that.
“You should go back to bed and sleep well,” she mumbled.
“Maybe I will”
“Yeah, do that, hon, we can go for iced coffee later”
I looked at the coffee pot, it was big enough for twelve cups and it was already empty.
“Not sure about that, but okay”
I checked on my phone: nothing new. Thought about the possibilities of getting a real job, but I would need documentation.
I cannot recall when I fell asleep, but when I woke up again she was there by my side, peacefully resting with her eyes closed.
I guess I was wrong, I thought. A cozy feeling filled the bedroom; it wasn’t unfamiliar, there was nothing new after all this time but definitely felt different for the better. I tucked her closer to my chest and unintentionally woke her up.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered, “go back to sleep”
“No, what time is it? I need to work” she mumbled and checked the clock “damn, five minutes, I’ll make coffee”
“I’ll cook something to eat”
She smiled and stroked my face tenderly.
“You should be a chef, hon”
“Right, as if I could get back all these years”
Or if I wanted that, I thought. Even if I could, that’s not what I wanted.
“I would invest all my money to open a place just for you. No one would know who you are, my love”
Her face glimmered; she really believed me when I said I’d stay. How could I ever live if I end up leaving again?
I wouldn’t, I thought, I’d have to die.
“Are you doing this for real?” I pulled her closer, “Are you planning a future with me?”
“I’ve been doing it for years, thank you for noticing” she said and kissed the tip of my nose. “Gotta work, hon, gotta work, gotta work”
She fled out of the room and I followed. When she was finally done with her schedule, we got ready to go out. I took a mask and she threw it off my hand.
“Don’t! I want to show off my boyfriend”
“Why?” I asked.
“Yesterday you took my hand and intertwined our fingers, you rarely do that. You tend to walk behind me as if you were about to mug me, but I think you gained confidence now — and I like it. Even if you burn your face again, stay by my side for the rest of my life, okay?”
“I might go back to black hair”
“I like that too. I like every single thing about you, are we clear?”
“Like water”
“Good, now let’s get drunk as fuck!”
She pulled my arm as we were leaving the apartment. In a million lives, I would never thank her enough for everything.
We went to a bar really far from where she lived, it was new to me, underground, and I saw a “no uninvited man allowed” sign as we crossed the door. I walked behind her, she went straight to the bartender and ordered a bottle of something and the bartender served many different colored shots.
“You’re kidding, you gotta work tomorrow!” I yelled so she could hear me above the music.
“You told me you’d stay! We gotta celebrate!” she shouted back and drank directly from the bottle.
“What’s that?!” I wanted to know, but I didn’t understand her, the music was too loud.
“Try this! It’s sweet!” she gave me a shot of whatever-neon-purple-beverage thing and she was right, it didn’t taste like alcohol at all “I love those, hon”
“I bet you do!”
She drank a couple of shots and I grabbed the bottle, it smelled like cheap booze, took a sip of it.
“It tastes like cheap booze,” I muttered.
“It IS booze!” she yelled and laugh, she looked dizzy already, “those are the good ones here!” she pointed at the counter and the fifteen different-colored shots she ordered were gone.
I saw her drunk a thousand times, something was wrong here. The bartender served her another shitty drink and I immediately took it away.
“What’s this?!” I yelled and smelled it, it smelled like a margarita but it didn’t look like it.
“That’s to dilute the shots! I’ve been here before, my love!”
She was acting like a teenager drinking for the first time, I didn’t like this, but the booze was fine and I’d take her home safely so I let it slide. She drag me to the dancefloor, she had a way to make everything around disappear when we were out, and so when she dances I just follow her lead.
This reminded me of one time she ordered tequila for the first time and some asshole tried to pull her away from me. She was still innocent back then, always trying on new things to avoid boredom.
She clung onto me and kissed me passionately. Her arms wrapped round my neck, her body fitting perfectly tighten to mine. Too affectionate to be in public, so I thought that was my sign.
“But we just got here!” she complained, but I wasn’t going to let her ruin her reputation publicly, not even for a minute.
It was cold outside; I gave her my jacket. We walked a little trying to get a cab.
“Touya, I’m fine,” she mumbled, “seriously, let’s go back, we barely spend thirty minutes…”
“You drank like a sailor in the first sixty seconds, how could you even measure time?”
When we finally found a taxi, I felt a little dizzy. The road turned to flashing lights; she squeezed my hand three times in the back of the taxi. The driver said something I barely remember.
I don’t know how or when we got home.
Suddenly we were making out in her bedroom, taking our clothes off. In a blink of an eye, she was riding me desperately, still half-naked, moaning out of pleasure and my shaky hands were touching her nipples.
I felt like the whole bedroom was moving.
I clawed my fingers on her hips, laid her down and lifted her legs; put her ankles on my shoulders and changed the pace, deeper and faster. She pulled my head down to kiss and bite my lips.
It felt like a dream. I don’t know when we finished or if we did it. Morning light came through the window, I opened my eyes and she wasn’t there. I picked up the clothes on the floor and made the bed — I didn’t find the condom.
She was on her laptop, wearing my shirt, a messy bun and big dark eye circles.
“Did you sleep?” I asked.
“Like three minutes,” she answered with husky voice.
She looked focused but I had to know.
“Hey, did you, by any chance, picked up the condom?”
“The what?” she looked at me, “I’m sloppy right now, sorry, what did you say?”
“The condom, I didn’t see it”
Silence. Her eyes widened, she covered her mouth.
“Me neither” she murmured but I heard.
I felt shock; she froze.
“We — We’ve been reckless before” I tried to be calm but I stuttered, “I probably pulled out before…”
“You don’t remember?!” she reproached me.
“Oh, you’re one to talk! What was in those purple shits?”
“You mean shots”
“I meant what I said”
She rubbed her face with both hands.
“My love, I really don’t have time for this, let me clear this other mess first and then we’ll handle the other mess”, she said while typing again.
“Did you take a bath or…?”
“Do I look fresh to you?!” she freaked out, typed faster and loud. I saw the coffee machine was clean so I assumed she hadn’t have her morning coffee yet.
I walked cautiously in the kitchen, made a full meal and placed the plates and coffee as near to her as I thought it was reasonable; then I took a shower.
When I saw her again she looked better, still a mess but calm.
“How’s it going?” I asked from a safe distance.
“I got this” her tone was back to normal. I waited in the living room.
When she finally closed her laptop, she looked at me and gasped for air, ran her hand through her hair. I felt genuinely scared, but I didn’t show it.
“I have to sleep,” she said and teleported, she was that tired; she rarely used her quirk. I saw her in her bedroom: she was lying on her stomach, her face buried on the pillow. I laid by her side and tried to touch her hair but she caught my hand.
“Are you mad at me?” I asked.
“I’m mad at me” she mumbled on the pillow, she rolled to her side and looked at me, “I’ve been there before; drink, dance, the usual, and then I would come home by myself; I know it’s an illegal bar but I thought it was a safe place for woman”
“Some places change when they gain a little popularity”
“And that single shot took you down too? What the fuck did they put in it? I liked them because they’re sweet”
“Maybe they had something”
She came closer and cuddled.
“Thank God you were there”
I wanted to bring back the condom topic — it itched my brain — but knowing that she has been there on her own before and this happened suddenly didn’t sit well. Maybe the other male clients were all accompanying their girlfriends but the bartender wasn’t — and he was a man, after all.
“Never go back there, ‘kay?” I said.
“Yep”
“From now on, we can celebrate like normal people,” I suggested. “We could buy cake and balloons if you want to celebrate that much”
“Really?” her eyes sparkled.
“Sure, it’ll be fun”
I wasn’t sure at all, but I tried at least for that one week to stop running with the wolves. I tried to settle down, but everynight at 2 A. M. I found myself staring at the ceiling.
I wondered how she does this everyday. On day five, I was losing my grip, I don’t know how I managed to keep my shit together; on day six, I dyed my hair black.
Seventh day arrived; she looked at me and asked:
“Will you go out today?”
“I have to make some money”
“How?” she wanted to know, but I wouldn’t tell. I never told her before, I wouldn’t tell her now. “Will you come back?”
I wanted to say “yes” but I didn’t wanna lie. Realization crossed her gaze.
“Old habits die hard,” she mumbled disappointed and picked up the plates. “Way to go, tiger”
“I’m coming back,” I said but she didn’t look at me.
“This happens all the time,” she continued and it cut deep; she was upset as if I was already gone.
“That’s not fair,” I said.
“You don’t get to tell me what’s fair, Toya!” she reproached me: “Do you wanna know what’s unfair? The fact that… you – out of all people – discard me all the time”
That really pissed me off.
“Shut up”
“I knew it was too good to be true”
“You want me to stay here? I gotta work too, I have to make my own money! I’m not gonna live out of your income as if I was your bitch, this is already your place filled with your stuff…”
“You can bring stuff too”
“That is not what I mean, damn, you’re being so stupid!”
I wasn’t thinking when I said it, but I regretted immediately; her eyes widened and she came to me as if she was gonna kick my balls, I grabbed both her arms and hugged her.
“No, I didn’t mean it”
She bit my shoulder so hard I wept a little.
“Touya, if you don’t come back…”
“I’m obsessed with you,” I interrupted her “I’ll see you later”
We parted ways outside the building, she went to work and I –after sending some messages- went to make my own money too. On my way, I saw some kids on their way to school, it freaked me out because I forgot about the lost condom and she probably forgot too.
“Did you get your period?” sent.
She was writing… and writing… and writing…
“No, Touya, I’m not on those days of the month” Read.
By now, I wasn’t sure if she was using my real name because she was pissed or because I requested it a week ago. I felt sick and fucked up. I thought about us pushing a stroller and threw up on the street.
People avoided me in a circle; some hero clown came to me and asked:
“Are you okay, boy?”
“Get off my face!”
He tried to put his hand on me but I managed to get away; I put on a mask and mixed with the crowd.
When I arrived to the headquarters, the morons I worked with were being too cautious as I expected; I covered my face but my neck was uncovered.
“Who the fuck are you?” my boss asked.
“Dabi”
“Take that stupid mask off, are you sick?” he asked and I took the mask off, “What the fuck happened to you?”
“I cashed in a favor” I lied.
“That’s not your real face, don’t lie, you look like a pretty kid” he smirked and laughed.
“Where’s the idiot you need me to handle? I gotta go”
“Sure, after that little vacation you just had, see if I care”
After a good amount of bravado, I went with other two morons to handle a few poor souls that didn’t pay in time. I told the others that when I got my payment, I would quit, so they’d have to find their own way to handle their clients.
“What do you mean you quit? No one quits here” said moron one.
“Funny, I just did” I smirked.
“You think the boss doesn’t know where you go when you disappear? We all know” said moron two.
“So what?”
“So what?!” both of them were surprised. I hated them.
“He’ll send somebody after your little girlfriend. Think!” said moron one.
I thought about it a million times before.
“No one can touch her” I said.
If we move out.
“What do you mean?” asked moron two.
If I warn her.
“None of you would be able to catch her, plus the boss won’t send anybody after her, she’s not the reason I quit”
If I protect her. She’ll be alright.
“Sure, you just got that surgery on your face and now you quit. You probably think you can straighten your life, but…” moron one started a whole monologue I wasn’t even gonna pretend I was hearing.
Her dad’s a big fish too, I thought, she’s well covered even if I’m not with her.
“Dabi, is she pregnant?” moron two asked me and caught me off guard. He burst a laugh “Holy shit, she is pregnant”
“You’re soooo fucked up” moron one joined him.
“In that case, I think you may quit. Our boss is a family man after all”
He wasn’t a family man, he had a family with his first ex-wife but their kids were all grown and he was married to a fourth wife now. They mocked me all the way back to our boss’ office.
“Let me be there when you tell him you’re quitting, I wanna see you get fuck” they laughed then, but kept quiet when I told our boss this was the last time I’d do this for a living.
The big old man looked at me, made a face and gasped for air.
“Come with me, man,” he commanded with a serious tone in his voice, he usually calls me kid; I followed him in silence. “I think I know what’s going on here and let me tell you something you need to know”
He thinks my girlfriend’s pregnant too, I thought. He wasn’t gonna get my guard off too. He brought a bottle of whiskey and two glasses.
“Marriage isn’t that great” he said and poured the whiskey. My mind went completely blank. “Woman these days! They are… insufferable! Especially if they have quirks, it makes them think they don’t need you but they want you to give them everything you have”
I had no words and he had a whole speech prepared apparently, so I just listened and drank the whiskey.
“I know I’m not your father but my eldest is almost your age,” he said in a sentimental tone, “sometimes I just see him in you”
“We’re good,” I mumbled and he poured some more whiskey.
“So tell me, when’s the date?”
I drank the whiskey as if it was water.
“I’m not getting married,” I answered.
He looked at me perplexed for a second.
“Get the fuck out of here”
I stood up and walked to the door.
“Hey Dabi, if you ever need quick-cash, just send me a message”
I just nodded.
It was dark outside; I wondered if she was still at her workplace.
“Want a coffee?” Sent.
“I’m good” Read.
She sent a picture, she was at her favorite coffee shop, near her building. I hurried to meet her there, but couldn’t find her so I called her.
“Where are you?” I asked.
“At the park”
I hurried again to find her. She was sitting alone with a bottle in her hand, she was drinking soju now — it was strawberry flavored — I took it when I sat next to her.
“You came,” she mumbled a little sad.
“I told you I would and you should be careful of whatever you eat or drink until you get your period, missy”
“Hey, my grandma sent me that”
“I don’t give a fuck”
She didn’t fight back, laid her head on my shoulder.
“Were you drinking?” she asked.
“A little”
“Darling” she whispered, “We need to leave the apartment”
I tried to look at her but she kept her head down.
“We’ll find a place”
“No, I mean right now, my mother got us evicted”
“Oh”
So that’s why she was drinking, I thought. I wondered where all of her stuff was.
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chocopinda · 2 years
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10 films I love
tagged by sweet @zurdoabsurdo I'm so sorry for being so late :')
I gave it a lot of thought and in the end only the first few are big big favourites, the others are just films I've seen recently or remember enjoying otherwise I'll be thinking about this forever.
Parasite (2019). I only saw this somewhere last year but from that point on I've already had multiple friends watch it with me, it's so fun and every time I watch it I swear I notice new things. I love the plot and the way it balances it's more serious tones with the comedic ones. Big big big love for Parasite.
Snatch (2000). This and Parasite honestly share a number 1 spot together, this has been my favourite film since I was 15 or so I think. It's just so stupidly fun, there's not a single second I've been bored while watching it. It's my ultimate comfort film. Just as with Parasite, it manages to be funny but still has a few more serious moments. Soundtrack has Angel by Massive Attack so that's a good bonus too.
Hot Fuzz (2009). Another big comfort film! Though I pretty much enjoy anything that Simon Pegg, Nick Frost and/or Edgar Wright are involved in. I love the dumb humor and the town it takes place in reminds me of my own sometimes, which makes the experience so much better.
Shaun of the Dead (2004). The only reason this one is below Hot Fuzz is because of the latter's town residents. Also I just enjoy police/crime/cult stories more than apocalypse ones. World's end isn't on here because I still have not completed watching the Cornetto Trilogy.
Donnie Darko (2001). Love me a film where literally everyone (at least kind of) sucks. Gotta be one of my favourite genres. So many theories as to what the film's various scenes and ending mean and represent. Anyway, 28 days left!
Fargo (1996). Again, love me some crime in my entertainment. So strangely endearing at times for a film that's described as a thriller though, the police woman and her artist husband have completely stolen my heart when I watched it.
Midsommar (2019). Very very pretty and visually interesting film, I love all the art on the walls and the little runes embroidered in the dresses. I'm a person that's easily swayed by pretty visuals and even more so if that includes flowers/florals. So I really enjoy the costumes and aesthetic, go figure.
Call Me By Your Name (2017). Most interesting to me is the fact that it's about a temporary love, I don't feel I've seen that often without the film ending in the couple getting together at the end despite all odds or something. And to me the 'temporary' relationships/situationships/whatever you want to label or name it, are just as valuable and worth telling stories about. So I'm glad I could find that in this film, plus the pretty scenery that remind me of going on vacations as a kid.
Pulp Fiction (1994). Yeah yeah my taste is boring I know, I just like my crime drama's. Also, I want to kiss Mia Wallace.
Django Unchained (2012). Banger soundtrack with the exception of one song that felt very out of place. Again a serious film with a funny side. Western costumes drive me absolutely wild.
Anyway, tagging @nachitoesmuybonito , @jasonsnowwhitebrody , @kettleghost , @bluewaterlily , and I don't know anyone else right now that I haven't seen tagged already. Sorry in advance if it turns out you did already get tagged before :') As per usual, don't feel pressured to participate.
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"I could hear my heart beating. I could hear everyone's heart. I could hear the human noise we sat there making, not one of us moving, not even when the room went dark."
What We Talk About When We Talk About Love by Raymond Carver
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by Holly Warburton
"How strange it is. We have these deep terrible lingering fears about ourselves and the people we love. Yet we walk around, talk to people, eat and drink. We manage to function. The feelings are deep and real. Shouldn't they paralyze us? How is it we can survive them, at least for a little while? We drive a car, we teach a class. How is it no one sees how deeply afraid we were, last night, this morning? Is it something we all hide from each other, by mutual consent? Or do we share the same secret without knowing it? Wear the same disguise?"
White Noise by Don DeLillo
"We're each of us alone, to be sure. What can you do but hold your hand out in the dark?"
Nine Lives by Ursula K. Le Guin
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Skaters by Marianne von Werefkin
"How are you? Fine, and you? It's not that we don't care, it's that we're terrified that someone will actually break down and tell us. Everyone I know is in some kind of pain. Everyone."
Journal, Day Three by Richard Siken
how poignant and heart-rending is it that we're all going to work or school and riding our bikes and feeding our dogs and driving to the grocery store and emailing back our coworkers and yet among it all we're each screaming (somewhat out of sync) someone please please love me for this for something for anything!
by user @worldsinmywords
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Howling at the Moon by Darshana Suresh
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by Holly Warburton
"Everybody has experienced the defeat of their lives. Nobody has a life that worked out the way they wanted it to work out. We all begin as the hero of our own dramas, in centre stage, and inevitably life moves us out of centre stage, defeats the hero, overturns the plot and the strategy and we’re left on the sidelines, wondering why we no longer have a part, or want a part, in the whole damn thing. So everybody’s experienced this. When it’s presented to us sweetly, the feeling goes from heart to heart and we feel less isolated and we feel part of the great human chain, which is really involved with the recognition of defeat."
Leonard Cohen
"It astonishes me sometimes -no,often- how every person I get to know -everyone, regardless of everything, by which i mean everything- lives with some profound personal sorrow. [...] Is sorrow the true wild? And if it is-and if we join them-your wild to mine-what’s that? For joining, too, is a kind of annihilation. What if we joined our sorrows, I’m saying. I’m saying: What if that is joy?"
The Book of Delights by Ross Gay
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by Alena Shymchonak
"The sea rises, the light fails, lovers cling to each other, and children cling to us. The moment we cease to hold each other, the moment we break faith with one another, the sea engulfs us and the light goes out."
Nothing Personal by James Baldwin
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stardustprompts · 3 years
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downton abbey  season 2  sentence starters   change tenses/pronouns as needed !!  some lines have been edited for clarity / length / ease of roleplaying tw :   war ,  death
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‘war makes early risers of us all.’
‘I hate greek drama. where everything happens off stage.’
‘sometimes, it feels as if all the men I’ve ever danced with are dead.’
‘I just feel so useless. wasting my life while they sacrifice theirs.’ 
‘I want the best and I’m not ashamed to admit it.’ 
‘you know, the thing is ... I just can’t talk about it.’ 
‘things are changing. for her lot and ours. and when they do, I mean to make the most of it.’
‘in my whole life, I never thought I could be as happy as I am at this moment.’ 
‘I wanted to give you this. it’s my lucky charm. I’ve had it always. so you must promise to bring it back, without a scratch.’
‘I’ll try not to be a hero, if that’s what you’re afraid of.’ 
‘I tried it on my own and I don’t like it.’ 
‘I assume that’s loyalty, not ignorance.’
‘in case you’re wondering, whatever my future plans may be, they all involve you.’ 
‘I know you. you’re doing something gallant here.’
‘the only ruin I recognize is to be without you.’  
‘it’s a big step you’re taking, but war deals out strange tasks.’ 
‘flattered is a word posh people use when they’re getting ready to say no.’
‘if a bullet’s got your name on it, there’s nothing more you can do.’
‘war has a way of distinguishing the things that matter, and the things that don’t.’
‘the truth is neither here nor there, it’s the look of the thing that matters.’
‘there’s room for sentiment but not sentimentality.’ 
‘a broken heart can be as painful as a broken limb.’ 
‘I know what real love is, and there aren’t many who can say that. I’m one of the lucky ones.’ 
‘you’ll find there’s never a dull moment in this house.’ 
‘I don’t think you’re a fool, isn’t that enough?’ 
‘I am not a romantic. but even I will concede that the heart does not exists solely for the purpose of pumping blood.’ 
‘you’re not a victim. don’t let them make you into one.’
‘I think you regret being honest less often than you regret telling lies.’ 
‘we’re strong and sharp, and we can build something worth having, you and I, if you’ll let us.’ 
‘we cannot know the truth. we should not judge.’ 
‘it’s doing nothing that’s the enemy.’ 
‘we can’t leave all the moral high ground to (name). she might get lonely up there.’ 
‘she’s an obstacle to your happiness and must be removed. when it’s done, you can feel as sorry as you wish.’ 
‘I don’t know if I dreaded this moment or longed for it.’ 
‘I think I would love you, however, whatever, whenever.’
‘I know you, (name), and I love you and that is not the right path for you.’
‘we’ve dreamed a dream, but now it’s over.’ 
‘war breaks down barriers, and when peacetime re-erects them, it’s very easy to find oneself on the wrong side.’ 
‘I’m a woman. I can be as contrary as I choose.’
‘you’re too scared to admit it, but you’re in love with me.’
‘darling, don’t be such a baby. this isn’t fairyland.’
‘you’re asking me to give up my whole world, and everyone in it.’ 
‘I want a clean break and not an open wound.’ 
‘you’re stuck with me now, for good and proper.’ 
‘I could have faced it all with one more night of sleep.’ 
‘I’ve lived in such a fog of misery since I left you, I think i’d forgotten what happiness is.’
‘now we must get used to feeling happy, and trust it.’ 
‘it always happens when you give these little people power. it goes to their heads like strong drink.’
‘I get fed up seeing how our lot always get shafted.’ 
‘you thought you got the better of me, but you were wrong.’ 
‘you’re angry because I’m happy.’ 
‘sometimes, we must let the blow fall by degrees. give them time to find the strength to face it.’ 
‘I’m sorry if you’re angry, but don’t take it out on me. you did it.’ 
‘if you think it pains me to ask this favor, you’d be right. but I have no choice if I am not to be an object of ridicule and pity.’
‘forgive me, I don’t meant to offend you. I am simply paying you the compliment of being honest.’
‘just because a life isn’t easy doesn’t mean it isn’t right.’ 
‘sometimes the future needs terrible sacrifices. you thought that once.’ 
‘you’ve broken the rules, and it’s no good pretending they’re easily mended.’ 
‘I know that you have a real life coming. if I ever thought that I was putting that in jeopardy, i’d go away and never see you again.’ 
‘I have nothing to give and nothing to share.’ 
‘the trick of business is to mind your own.’ 
‘sometimes, (name), you can be curiously unfeeling.’ 
‘you have given me the power to destroy you and don’t think I won’t use it.’ 
‘when a war is over, the first emotion is relief. the second, disappointment.’ 
‘all I could do was think about how much more I want from life now than I did then.’ 
‘that’s what I want. no going back.’ 
‘I’m a foolish man who’s lost his way and don’t quite know how to find it again.’ 
‘I’ve waited for so long to hear those words I can’t believe I’m hearing them.’ 
‘can you hear the words coming out of your mouth? can you hear how stupid and selfish they are? because I can.’ 
‘aren’t all of us stuck with the choices we’ve made?’ 
‘marriage is a long business.’ 
‘you look as if you’ve got the cares of the world on your shoulders.’ 
‘am I so weak, you believe I can be talked out of giving my heart in five minutes flat?’ 
‘I have great pride in the love of that young woman, and I will strive to be worthy of it.’ 
‘don’t be defeatist, it’s very middle - class.’
‘I’m afraid being helpful is not something we associate you with.’ 
‘it’s wonderful what fear can do to the human spirit.’ 
‘I will not be moved to the sidelines to watch how you fare from a distance.’
‘I want you with every fiber of my being, but it isn’t fair to you, it isn’t fair to anyone.’ 
‘be happy. for my sake. it’s all I want for you. remember that.’ 
‘we’re cursed, you and I. and there’s nothing to be done about it.’ 
‘we’re talking to the dead.’ 
‘life is a game in which the player must appear ridiculous.’
‘you must prepare for the worst. I’m not saying it will happen, but you must prepare for it.’ 
‘I don’t often feel selfless, but when I listen to you, I do.’ 
‘no man can regret loving as I have loved you.’ 
‘say something, if it’s only good-bye.’ 
‘the fact remains that I am made different by it. things have changed between us.’ 
‘everyone deserves a chance. even (name).’ 
‘I just didn’t want our final words to be angry ones.’ 
‘would you stay? if I asked you to?’
‘you’ve lived your life, and I’ve lived mine. and now it’s time we lived them together.’ 
‘will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?’
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nessinborderland · 4 years
Text
Be Mine (02)
Pairing: Niragi x Reader / Chishiya x Reader
Genre: Smut, Angst, Fluff, Omegaverse
Word Count: 4.6k
Summary: You were able to stay unbounded throughout your life. You didn't want an Alpha; you didn't need one. You would rather die than to give yourself to some random male. But the man that saved your life thinks differently.
Warnings: Alpha/Omega, Dubious Consent, Vaginal Sex, Vaginal Fingering, Finger fucking, Rough Sex, Rough Kissing, Unprotected Sex, Creampie, Breeding, Pregnancy Kink, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Drama, Developing Relationship, Past Abuse, Scars
AO3 Link      Masterlist
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Seaside Paradise Tokyo.
Or, how Niragi introduces it to you, the Beach.
He leads you inside as if he owns the place. You wouldn’t doubt it, noticing how the people around get out of his way or hurriedly leave the room. You gulp; not a good sign. You look around the big lobby of what used to be a luxury hotel. The first thing you notice is how everyone is wearing some kind of swimwear; Niragi seems to be the exception. 
There are more people there than what you’ve seen in weeks, and the sight fills you with anxiety. You know everyone knows exactly what you are and what you’ve done; it would be impossible not to. You notice the whispers and barely masked expressions of surprise and curiosity as those strangers smell you. Smell him in you. 
You keep your eyes down as Niragi guides you through the building to an unknown destination. The hand on your lower back is warm and makes you feel less tense. You have no idea what to expect; you don’t know these people or what they stand for. You have no idea what you just got yourself into. But, for better or for worse, at least he’s there and you know he will keep you safe. No matter what. 
You risk a sideways glance at him. He doesn’t look at you, but you notice the corners of his mouth lifting in a smirk, his fingers brushing against your lower back. You blush; you hadn’t exchanged more than a few words since you left the roof, but his hand never stopped touching you.
The people who were hunting you just hours before now stand behind you, whispering. It's a small group; four men and two women. You haven’t been introduced yet, but you feel like those people know way too much about you already. You remember the ride to that place and the moments before that, cringing. 
Saying that it had been awkward would be an understatement; it was probably one of the most embarrassing moments of your life. Like the walk of shame you would see sometimes in American movies, but worse. Oh so much worse.
Words weren’t needed for them to know what had transpired on the roof. They had known the moment you appeared in front of them; sweaty, dirty, clearly disheveled and reeking of him. It also didn’t help how Niragi had shown up right behind you, chest puffed like a peacock and a grin on his face. 
No one had directed a word at you. The women just smiled in your direction and the men pat Niragi’s back, smirking and throwing around some distasteful comments that made him laugh. It made you feel like some kind of trophy; you supposed you were.
You had sat in the back of a car with just him, one of his men on the wheel while a woman sat on the passenger seat. You could feel their eyes on you, and you squirmed in your seat. Niragi’s hand was on your knee, thumb rubbing your skin in circles as he hummed a melody you didn’t recognize. Your head was full of questions; where were you going? How many people were there? What expected you? You had no idea. You stared out of the window at the empty streets of Tokyo, lost in your thoughts.
“Where do you keep your cards?” he had suddenly asked, startling you.
“Uh, hm my cards? In a backpack in my shelter,” you answered, brow raised. “Why?”
“Where is that?”
You had given the necessary directions to your most recent hiding spot and he transmitted them through a walkie-talkie. The rest of the ride was made in silence (eyes still on you), so you returned your attention to the passing view outside. However, the hand on your knee was still the major focus of your brain, and you kept replaying your encounter in your head; how his hands-
A door closing behind you brings you back to the present. You look around the big room you’re in now, taking in your surroundings; a long table occupies the center of it, with some sofas in a corner. Like everything else in that place, it looks expensive. You’re also not alone in that room; several strangers have their eyes locked on you. Their expressions go from barely hidden curiosity to blatant distrust. You tense, feeling threatened; you wonder if you could run past the guards by the door if the need arises. Niragi’s hand goes around your waist, pulling your body to his side in a movement that isn’t unseen by the others.
“So it’s true!” a voice exclaims, making you jump. The man sitting at the head of the table stands up, walking in your direction with open arms and a grin on his face. He’s dressed in just a pair of swim trunks and a colorful kimono, dark sunglasses hiding his eyes. His cheery demeanor puts you off for some reason. “You really bonded with an Omega!”
“We’re not bonded.” “They’re not bonded.” You blurt out at the same time as someone else. You look for the owner of the voice, and your heart stops when you set your eyes on him. You have no idea how you missed him; how his scent didn’t hit you as soon as you walked through those doors.
An Alpha.
You can definitely smell him now. Niragi’s scent is spicy and warm, like cinnamon and wood. This Alpha’s scent, however, is the complete opposite; he smells like something clean and fresh, like peppermint and rain. You look him up and down; he isn’t exactly how you would describe an Alpha; He’s shorter than most men and lean, with features that strangely remind you of a cat. His hair is white and his cold dark eyes pierce into yours while showing no emotion. However, there’s a ghost of a smirk on his lips. Yes, he definitely gives you cat vibes.
Niragi feels your body react before you do. His frame is blocking your vision before you can say or do anything.
“She’s mine!” he snarls in the direction of the other man. “You better stay the fuck away.”
You furrow your brow and push him aside. Indignation and anger rise inside you. You’re not his; not really. What you did is nothing definitive. He has no right in claiming you like that. Niragi stares at you in surprise before his eyes narrow. You notice his jaw clench. Well, he can stay mad for all you care.
“Stop talking about me like I’m a damn object!” you mutter to him, arms crossed over your chest, “We’re not bonded.” you clarify aloud. You lock eyes with the other Alpha; he’s full-on smirking now, something like amusement glinting in his eyes. It makes something tingle inside you. You ignore the sensation. “I don’t-”
“We’re not bonded yet.” Niragi grabs your arm and pulls you to him, hands possessively going around your waist. His glare never leaves the other Alpha as he says, “We will be, once she’s in heat, so back the fuck off.” In a swift movement, the riffle on his shoulder is on his hand, pointing it right at the other man. “If I even think you touched a hair on her head-”
“That’s for her to decide, no?” he retorts, a smirk still on his lips. His taunt expression doesn’t change as he winks at you, “Name’s Chishiya.”
You barely have time to grab Niragi’s arm as he lunges himself in the direction of the shorter man. “Niragi, stop!” And surprisingly, he does. The murderous rage in his eyes doesn’t disappear nor he lowers the gun, but he stops. 
“Niragi,” a man calls, a warning tone in his voice. He’s sitting at the other head of the table, arms crossed and face stoic. A scar runs across his left eye. “Easy there.”
“No no, Aguni, let them continue,” says the man that had first spoken when you arrived. The grin still hasn’t left his face. “This is quite entertaining.”
You take a deep breath, wondering once again where the hell did you get yourself into. You quickly assess the room; the people sitting around that table just stare, clearly not meaning to get involved in a dispute between two Alphas. You can feel the situation escalating, and no one seems to want to do anything.
“Niragi,” you put your hand on his cheek, thumb brushing his lower lip, “Drop it, please. You’re scaring me.” He finally looks at you, and his expression softens. You hoped that would work; you had seen your mother do the same to your father dozens of times. Niragi lowers the gun, and you let out a sigh of relief.
The sound of claps startles you.
“Fascinating!” the man in the kimono and sunglasses says in the middle of clapping. “Not even Aguni there can calm down Niragi as fast as you just did.” he chuckles, “Are you sure that he’s the Alpha in the relationship?”
You feel Niragi tense against you, but he keeps silent.
“You know, my grandparents were bonded too.” the man continues without waiting for an answer. “I never really understood the dynamics of Alpha and Omega relationships though, it sounds so bothersome. Being bonded for life with someone you normally wouldn’t even stand just because of your animal sides,” he shakes his head. “Didn’t stop my grandfather from cheating though.”
You look down; it hadn’t stopped your father either.
“Anyway, welcome to the Beach!” he slightly bows in a greeting, “And your name is?”
“Y/N,” you say. You hear Niragi whisper your name, and you realize he didn’t know it until now. He doesn’t know anything about you. Nor you about him.
“Pleasure to meet you, Y/N. You can call me Hatter.” he walks back towards his spot at the head of the table, sitting down like a king on a throne. “Now Y/N, there are only three rules in this utopian Beach. Rule number one:” he points at himself, “Always wear swimwear at the Beach. Rule number two-”
“Why swimwear?” you interrupt. Walking around so exposed is not something you like. “Niragi doesn’t wear one.” 
“Well, for safety reasons, of course,” he explains. “You can’t hide weapons in a swimsuit.” he chuckles, nodding at Niragi, “And your boyfriend there just simply refuses to wear one. Not that it makes a difference; he’s always carrying that riffle around anyway.” he clears his throat, “As I was saying, rule number two is that all cards belong to the Beach. You’ll give us all the cards you have in your possession as well as every card you’ll get in the future. If you contribute a lot you can even be promoted to a higher number and, eventually, leave this country.”
“Wait, what do you mean leave?” a spark of hope; there is a way to leave that hell hole.
“Oh, your boyfriend didn’t explain it to you?” Hatter asks, “If you’re able to get every card, you can go back to the real world. We work by numbers here; I am number one, which means I’ll be the first to leave when we get all the cards. After me is Aguni, as he’s number two and so on. So, if we all put in the work and gather enough double cards, everyone on the Beach will be able to leave this country eventually.”
“Is it true?” you turn to Niragi. “We can actually leave?”
He nods, “I want her to have the number before mine.” he says in Hatter’s direction. “I’m not leaving without her.”
“We have a system in place, Niragi,” a bespectacled man speaks at Hatter’s right, “We can’t change it just because you have...fallen in love, or whatever it is. There are rules”
“Kuzuryū is right,” adds a woman in shorts and sunglasses. Her tone is bored, but her body language tells you she’s interested in the conversation, “She has to prove her worth. If she can’t, then she’ll have to get in line just like everyone else.”
You feel Niragi’s body tense up again, gun rising just a little.
“I don’t need charity,” you speak before he can, pressing the gun down. “I’m more than capable of rising up the rankings by myself. And I’ve been surviving on my own just fine, so I know I can do this.”
“Y/N, no-” 
“Oh, so she plays by the rules,” Chishiya. You had almost forgotten about him if it wasn’t for the scent of peppermint mixing with the scent of cinnamon. “What’s your specialty?”
“My specialty?”
“Yeah, what kind of games are you good at?”
“I- I don’t know.” You just did your best to survive while staying away from others. That made games of clubs particularly difficult, but nothing you couldn’t overcome. “Never really thought about it.”
“Then I guess we will find out.” the woman from before says. 
“It’s settled then!” Hatter declares with a clap. “Ann here will personally evaluate your gaming skills. You’re free to indulge in whatever you wish to, at the Beach; alcohol, drugs, sex. Have fun and enjoy yourself while you can. Just remember the third rule; the last and most important rule,” he makes a dramatic pause. “Death to the traitors. Not even your Alpha boyfriend could save you if you broke that rule.” You feel the threat in his words as much as Niragi does, but both of you keep quiet. “Is that clear?” You nod in confirmation. “Great! Meeting adjourned.”
Niragi is pulling you out of the room before you can ask any more questions; you happen to have a lot of them, but decide to keep them to yourself for now.
“Why the fuck did you stop me from trying to help you?” he asks without looking at you. You almost trot while trying to keep up with his long legs. “I’m trying to keep you safe, goddammit!”
“But I don’t need saving!” you retort with a huff, “I’m more than capable of standing up for myself and get stuff on my own.”
He abruptly stops in the middle of the empty hallway, hands grabbing your shoulders. “Have you forgotten about what we agreed upon?” he asks with a scowl. A strand of raven hair falls over his eyes and you have to fight the impulse to tuck it behind his ear. “You’re mine, remember?”
“Well, and you seem to forget that I have some rules I would like for you to respect!” you talk back, arms crossing over your chest. “The first one is for you to stop acting as if you own me.”
“But I-”
“You don’t!” you interrupt a little too loudly, “I won’t let this fucking animal in me decide what I want. And you better do the same!”
“Trouble in paradise already?” a voice makes you freeze. You turn to face Chishiya, just a few meters behind you. The look in his eyes is something like malice and amusement; he likes whatever he’s seeing.
Niragi lets out a dramatic sigh, “Oh for fuck’s sake, will you fucking leave me alone and die?!” he pinches the bridge of his nose before pointing the rifle at the man once again, “I really have no fucking patience for you right now, so fuck off will ya?”
Chishiya huffs out a laugh and raises his hands in mocking surrender. “I was just passing by, you are the one that decided to have a fight in the middle of the hallway.” He keeps walking in your direction and purposely passes in between you two, arms still raised in the air. Your mind fogs for a moment as his scent takes over your brain and his eyes lock into yours. Something flashes in his dark brown eyes; something you can’t quite place, but that you’re sure it’s his wolf showing himself for just a moment. “See you around,” he waves as he disappears around a corner.
“I fucking hate that white-haired freak,” Niragi mumbles beside you. “I swear to God, if he even thinks about touching you, I’m shooting-”
“And if I want him to?” you say without much thinking. “At least I would be-”
Your breath is taken out of you as Niragi presses you against a wall.
“Say that again,” he practically growls in your ear as his chest presses against your back. Heat pools between your legs instantly, and you want to curse yourself; your wolf could at least have a little dignity. His nostrils flare as he buries his nose on your neck, right above your pulse. You feel the piercing of his tongue on your skin, and you shudder. “I’ll make you say those exact words again while I’m deep inside you, and let’s see if you’ll want him by then.”
“Ge- get off me, you brute,” you manage to say.
“Yeah?” his crotch presses against your ass, and you feel him growing hard, “Now say it like you mean it.”
“Hmm-hmm.”
You press against him, giving in just a little. He does make you feel good. His mouth starts gently sucking on the sensitive skin of your neck. You moan.
“Niragi.”
You jump at the sound of someone calling his name right behind you, hurriedly pushing Niragi off of you. The man with the scar over his eyes, Aguni, stands there, a look of barely hidden discomfort breaking what seems to be his usually stoic expression. 
“You guys know that this is a public hallway, right?” he asks with a sigh, “Please get a room.”
He walks away before any of you can say anything. Niragi shrugs and tries to pull you against him again before you swiftly contort yourself out of his arms.
“No, no, no, we’re not doing this,” you point between you two, shaking your head. “Especially not here. We have a lot to discuss.”
Niragi sighs and rolls his eyes.
“Fine,” he says in a reluctant tone. “Let’s find something for you to change into, then,” he says with a smirk, signing at you to follow him. “And we’re not done here.”
“Hm, we’ll see about that,” you retort, following him.
He leads you through the building while explaining things in a bored tourist guide tone; how they manage to have water by harvesting rainwater, how electricity is powered by generators, and how things are organized every time there’s a game. You also ask small things here and there, like how many people live at the Beach and what everyone usually does for fun. He answers you semi-patiently. He finally stops at a door, opening it to reveal a room that you guess was configured to be a storage room for clothing.
“Choose whatever you want from here,” he says before giving you a plastic bag and leaning against the threshold. “Take your time.”
You go through the room, promptly avoiding anything too flashy or colorful; the last thing you want is to get unwanted attention. Anxiety bubbles in your stomach as you search through the clothes; you keep wondering if this was the safest choice. Too late now, anyway. You wish Niragi had at least let you keep your knife; you hate feeling defenseless.
After some rather quick browsing, you end up choosing a simple, black one-piece, together with two pairs of too-short jean shorts and a too-thin jacket hoody. You also pick up some underwear and two or three pairs of shirts.
“I’m done.”
Niragi takes the bag from your hands without a word, extending something to you. You take it; is a wristband with a number attached. Forty-two.
“Is this my number?” you wonder. He nods. “Isn’t this a little too high? I just got here, after all.”
“You don’t have many valuable cards, so that’s the highest number I could get you for now,” he says with a shrug.
“But I said-”
“Yeah I know what you said, just put on the damn thing, will ya?” he says in a harsh tone. You hesitate for a moment before putting it around your wrist; you won’t fight him more on this particular subject. You intend on getting an even higher number, anyway; you want out of this place as quickly as possible. He seems pleased when you don’t talk back. “Good girl. Now let me show you to your room.”
You ignore the feeling his words of praise make you feel and follow him close behind. Your room ends up being a large bedroom on the upper floors of the hotel, luxurious but simple in style, with a balcony that gives you access to the best views. It also happens to not be your room at all; his scent is everywhere. 
“This is your room,” you say matter of factly, turning to him with a sigh. “Am I not allowed to have my own room?”
“No, you’re not,” he says back, dropping your bag of clothes on the bed. “Now change.”
“Why not?” you ask, feeling annoyed. It’s like he’s set on getting you angry. “I won’t share my room with a stranger. I want my privacy.”
“A stranger?” he growls, stopping right in front of you. You keep your eyes firmly locked on his, even when his hand grabs your chin with a little too much force. “What we have is stronger than anyone else in this place could even begin to comprehend. I’m not gonna let you ruin it because you’re too stubborn to fully accept yourself. That is not my problem.” His words hurt you more than you care to admit, and you have to fight the tears that threaten to overflow your eyes. “Want a fucking room to yourself? Fine,” his grip on you tightens. His eyes are like fiery ice. “But stop rejecting me, or you’re gonna regret it.” 
“You’re hurting-”
“I made you a promise,” he continues, “When you’re finally in heat and ready to take me completely, I’ll do it.” His lips brush against yours, and you shudder, “And you’ll take me, like the good little wolf that you are.”
His kiss is like a fire that burns you from within. His touch sends sparks all over your body, and you feel your wolf howling with desire, despite the feeling of his cum still on your thighs from just hours earlier. His hands pull you flush against him, and you have to control a moan as his hand gets inside your shorts to squeeze your ass. His other hand is still on your face, keeping you in position as he devours your mouth, tongue pushing against your own so forcefully that you feel like you’re going to choke.
He’s pushing you against the mattress moments later, forcing a knee in between your legs. You grind on his thigh, wanting to feel him even closer; it almost hurts how horny you are. He keeps kissing you until you’re gasping for air, moving his lips to suck on your neck as you whimper his name. 
“Could any stranger make you feel like I do?” he whispers in your ear, “I’m no fucking stranger.” he bites your earlobe. “I’m your fucking Alpha, and you’ll respect me as such.” He suddenly turns you on your stomach, and you freeze. “How about I fuck you like an animal? Maybe you’ll learn to appreciate your wolf side more.” he says as his hands start pulling your shorts down your legs. You’re frozen in place, fog dissipating to be replaced by growing panic.
“No, wait-”
“Learn your fucking place,” he says as he pulls you up against him by the hair, hand sliding down your front to rip your shirt. “Take me like you were born to do.”
“Niragi, please-” you plead as you try to push him away. He doesn’t listen, pushing you back on the bed as the shirt finally leaves your back. You whimper when the cold air hits your naked skin.
You can hear a feather fall in the silence that follows. You keep frozen, face down on the sheets as tears fill your eyes. He stopped touching you, and you know what his eyes are seeing. You can feel them, burning into your back like hot iron.
“Who did this to you?” he asks in a tone you can’t quite place. You don’t answer; you can’t even face him. You don’t want to see the look of disgust or pity in his eyes. You fail to control the sob that leaves your lips, and simply shake your head, curling your legs under you.
Another moment passes before you feel something covering you. You don’t look, even when you feel him stand up away from the bed, his footsteps sounding to your right as he opens a door. You peek then and see Niragi, shirtless, by a closet. You gasp. He retrieves another shirt and puts it on. He closes the wardrobe door and you lock eyes through the mirror that appears. His eyes have no emotion on them as he averts his gaze and walks out of the room, closing the door without a sound.
You slowly stand up on the bed, still trying to control your gasping breathing. His back. You dress the item of clothing he put on you; his shirt. His scent involves you, and it instantly calms you down.
His back.
Maybe you’re not so different after all.
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You wake up startled by the sound of the bedroom door closing. The room is dark, and you force your eyes to identify the tall figure standing by the door. Not that you need to; you can smell him. Him and the reek of alcohol as he gets closer. You pretend to be asleep as he stops right in front of you.
“You kept my shirt,” he says like he’s surprised. You had; after he left you had taken a long warm shower and immediately got in bed, his shirt around you to comfort you. You hear him go to the other side of the bed and sit down. You hear his boots hit the floor as he throws them somewhere across the room. Then he’s laying beside you with a sigh.
“Lie, abuse, betrayal, murder, steal,” he pauses briefly, “I’ve done it all. More times than I care to count.” Your body tenses, but you keep quiet. He lets out a humorless chuckle, “I know you’re awake.” You hear him move to his side, and feel as his fingers start playing with your hair. “I’ll let you know this, though. The next person that dares to even lay a finger on you is getting a fate worse than death. I promise.”
You stay quiet, even as you feel tears sliding down to your temple. His words shouldn’t make you feel like this; like you matter. Like he loves you. You know he doesn’t; not really. But you can’t stop the warmth that fills your heart at hearing his words and feeling his hand in your hair. People always told you how Omegas should feel, but you never understood; you are starting to now.
You turn around when you hear his breathing slow down to a soft snore. You close the gap between you by curling up against his chest, smiling when his arm goes around your waist.
For the first time in weeks, you sleep without nightmares.
Next Chapter
453 notes · View notes
sankyeom · 4 years
Text
picture perfect | k.m
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pairings: kevin moon x reader genre: art student au, strangers to lovers, art!student kevin, actor!reader, another secret admirer situation (yes i know we already did that in my sangyeon fit but it’s cute so idc) summary: in which you find a sketchbook filled with drawings of you, and go on a mission to find the owner word count: 8.5k (these just get longer and longer wow) series: sankyeom’s 2k followers celebration
masterlist
Your psychology professor always spoke a mile a minute, and it made taking notes unnecessarily difficult. Usually when she lectured, your wrist cramped from writing so fast, and your classmates couldn’t wait to get out of the room. On one particular autumn afternoon, you stared into nothingness as your professor gave a lecture on Milgram’s experiments, running lines in your head instead of taking notes like you usually did.
When you were cast as one of the lead roles (who didn’t even have that many lines to begin with) in your University’s winter play of An Ideal Husband, you were ecstatic to be given a new challenge. You had never been involved in acting or theatre before University, and you always felt like you were behind your peers. Your excitement soon morphed into something less productive: fear.
You were so afraid to mess up and disappoint your peers that you frequently did poorly in rehearsals and were the source of your cast’s frustrations. Perhaps it was your lack of experience, or perhaps it was because you didn’t really have any faith in yourself. Either way, it was all you could think about.
As your classmates started packing up to leave, you realised that the lecture was over and that you had just been in your own head for over an hour without learning anything from your class. Scrambling to pack up, you put away your notebooks and pencils as your phone chimed. Checking the text, you saw a message from your friend Sunwoo asking if you wanted to get lunch with him.
Getting to your feet, you texted Sunwoo that you were down for lunch as you exited the now empty lecture hall. As you left, you felt your shoe come in contact with a solid object in the doorway; a notebook that somebody must have dropped on the way out. Knowing that you would want your notes back if someone found them – especially in this class, where your professor spoke way too fast – you opened the notebook to see who it belonged to.
Your breath caught in your throat.
It wasn’t a notebook, it was a sketchbook. With a drawing of you on the first page.
At first, you scolded yourself for assuming that the person in the drawing was you. It was presumptuous of you, wasn’t it? But the texture, colour, and length of the person’s hair perfectly matched yours. The person in the picture had your eyes, skin, clothes, and smile.
Perhaps it wasn’t so arrogant of you to presume that you were being depicted in the drawing.
“That’s a lovely drawing,” Professor Shin, who was on her way out, complimented. “You’re an excellent artist.”
You glanced up from the page, feeling a little dizzy. “It’s not mine,” you admitted, head spinning at the idea of somebody drawing you. Plain, simple, me? You couldn’t believe it. “I just found it here on the floor.”
“Looks like somebody admires you,” your Professor mused, smiling before bidding you farewell, leaving you standing in an empty lecture hall, clutching the sketchbook in your hands.
You tried to find a name on the other side of the cover, but there was no number or form of identification anywhere. The only thing that alluded to an identity was the small signature at the bottom right corner of the drawing.
Moon scribbles.
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The first time Kevin saw you, he was seated three rows behind you in one of his Cultural Anthropology classes last semester. You were jotting notes as quickly as possible, brows furrowed together in concentration as you gripped your pen hard enough for your knuckles to turn white.
Kevin didn’t take any notes that day.
All the could do was watch you, appreciating the way your expressions changed as you understood the content, and the hesitance on your face when you volunteered an answer during class.
He didn’t mean to start drawing you. You had simply inspired him to pick up his pencil and start sketching, the soft strokes of the lead slowly but surely forming shapes that resembled your eyes, nose, lips…  
Kevin didn’t think that you’d be all he could draw from that moment onwards. Even during his art classes; if the assignment was to study the scenery surrounding the University and draw a landscape, Kevin couldn’t get the image out of your face out of his head. Whether he used paint, charcoal, ink, or lead, it was your profile that emerged from his efforts.
Today was no different; Kevin was supposed to be studying the Psychology slides from class that day – which he hadn’t taken notes on because he was too busy sketching you – and yet he only had the urge to add the finishing touches to his drawing instead of facilitating his studying. Dragging his messenger bag over to his desk, Kevin rifled through it in search of his sketchbook. He had filled many, many pages with your face at that point, and it had become a habit for him to bring it everywhere with him in case he had the urge to draw.
Kevin furrowed his brows when he couldn’t find it. His heart pounded suddenly, the idea of him having lost his sketchbook in a place you might find it seeming terrifying and disastrous. After a final sweep of his bag – which included emptying it inside-out to make sure he didn’t miss anything – Kevin could only hope and pray that he’d find it before you did.
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“You found what?” Sunwoo asked through a mouthful of noodles, his eyes comically large and rounded in surprise.
“A sketchbook full of drawings of me,” you replied in a monotone voice, knowing fully well that Sunwoo had heard and understood you the first time. This was the fourth time you had explained the situation, and it was starting to get a little old.
Eric narrowed his eyes, judging Sunwoo’s eating habits, before turning to face you. “Are the drawings cute?” he wondered.
“I wouldn’t say they’re cute,” you said absentmindedly, thinking back to the drawings you saw. After succumbing to your own curiosity, you had looked through the notebook to see what other drawings there were. You knew this was an invasion of privacy but you couldn’t help yourself. Surely enough, they were all of you.
“They were beautiful. Drawn in such detail that I couldn’t even believe it when I first saw them… And I look genuinely gorgeous in them,” you paused when Sunwoo scoffed at your words. “I’m not saying that to be vain,” you defended. “Trust me, I look much better in the sketches than in real life. Whoever drew them just… sees me differently than I see myself. I look beautiful in the pictures.”
“Your Professor’s right, it does sound like you’ve got yourself an admirer,” Eric teased you, pleased that somebody other than your close friends was starting to see how great you were. He wasn’t your best friend like Juyeon or Sunwoo, but he knew you well enough. “Did you get a name or anything?” he asked excitedly.
“Nothing,” you sulked. “I can take an educated guess that this person is probably in my Psych class since it’s the only class I have in that room, but who knows? It could be anyone that’s seen me before.”
“Maybe it’s one of your fans from the drama department,” Sunwoo poked fun at your cast members, not liking how they were treating you in rehearsals.
“Very funny,” you rolled your eyes, finally picking at your rice and starting to eat. “I just want to know who’s drawing me in such an amazing way. It’s so detailed that I assume it might be someone will a lot of skill, maybe an art major? But a lot of people draw as a hobby who aren’t art majors as well. Maybe-”
Eric interrupted you. “You’re thinking too much,” he said, trying to clam you down. “Just… slow down a little. Maybe they’ll come looking for it next time you have Psych? There’s no name or information so you can’t do anything to find them, anyways,” he rationalised, something that was usually your role in your friendships.
Your eyes lit up. “Moon scribbles,” you exclaimed.
Sunwoo gave you an unimpressed look. “Bless you.”
You ignored his cheek, taking out your phone and going onto Instagram. “The artist signed all of their drawings with a signature that says Moon scribbles,” you explained.
“You know it’s rude to go onto your phone during mealtimes,” Sunwoo replied.
You laughed. “I’ll be sure to remember that for the next time you do the same, Kim Sunwoo.”
After typing moonscribbles into the search bar, you saw an art page by the same name pop up. You couldn’t tell who it belonged to, as the bio vaguely gave information about the artist going to your University, studying art and being a pisces. Since the account was private, you decided to risk it and request to follow them, no matter how strange that might be if they weren’t the person you were looking for.
“I should have invited Juyeon out for lunch instead,” Sunwoo decided, picking at your rice dish in between bites of his noodles.
“Juyeon would rather hang out with Eric than you anyway,” you teased your friend back, knowing that Juyeon and Eric had a deeper friendship despite Sunwoo and Eric being the same age. Eric grinned, amused that the was the topic of discussion and not chiming in to deny anything. “And excuse me, I paid for lunch, you rascal! Now stop complaining, I’m done anyway.”
“Alright, fine. Did anything come up?” Sunwoo wondered, slapping your wrist when you tried to take some of his noodles. You rolled your eyes. Typical Sunwoo: always taking your food but never willing to share his with you.
“I don’t know yet,” you admitted. “Guess we’ll just have to wait and see.”
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A few days passed without any response from moonscribbles on Instagram. You checked a few times a day to see if they ever accepted your request to follow them, but nothing ever came back. They didn’t deny your request, nor did they let you follow them either. It was frustrating, but it fell to the back of your mind after a week due to your schedule.
You had started doing full rehearsals with your cast members on stage for the play. At first, you thought that the setting might help you remember your lines and act without feeling awkward, but you were wrong. Most of your cast mates thought you got one of the lead roles for an alternate reason; perhaps you were related to someone on the University’s board and the director put you in because they wanted to keep their job. None of that was true, of course, but it didn’t help you make any friends.
The only friend you made was Younghoon, who played the lead opposite you, and with whom you frequently got together to go over lines and practice. He was one of those actors who was a completely different person from his role; he could keep be totally in character while doing his lines and the second the scene was over, he was back to his smiley self.
It didn’t help your confidence that he was an absolute pro. It only made you seem less competent in comparison, and you scolded yourself for even thinking that. Of course you knew it wasn’t Younghoon’s fault that he was simply much better at acting than you, but it definitely hurt your pride even more.
After another disastrous rehearsal, your cast mates had left to go backstage so you could have a word with the director. Younghoon sent you an encouraging smile and a pat on the shoulder before he followed your cast mates backstage, going over his lines in a faint whisper.
“Y/n,” your director began gently. “I don’t mean to hurt your feelings, but what’s up with you?” You said nothing, prompting her to keep talking. “Your audition was really great. I knew I wanted you to play a lead role the second you were done auditioning. But you’ve been doing pretty poorly in rehearsals.”
“I know,” you admitted. “I’m really sorry. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”
Your director sighed. “Look Y/n, I still want you to play your role. I like your chemistry with Younghoon and I think you guys could be really great leads. But if things don’t improve, I’m going to have to replace you with your understudy for the sake of this production.”
Even though you knew it was the obvious thing to do, it still hurt to hear. “I understand,” you whispered, nodding as you glanced at the floor.
“I really hope you can figure this out,” your director said, gently placing a hand on your shoulder. “Let me know if I can help in any way, okay?” You nodded, and your director excused herself, leaving you standing at the edge of the stage by yourself.
You groaned once you were alone, taking a seat at the edge of the stage and letting your legs dangle over the edge. Welcoming the silence in the theatre as most of the cast had left for the day, you allowed yourself to lay back and close your eyes.
Why couldn’t you get this right?
Maybe I should just quit the play, you thought to yourself. It’s probably for the best.
When you heard the gentle patter of footsteps leading onto the stage, you spoke without opening your eyes. “Let me guess, you came to tell me how terrible I am too?” you uttered, not even caring who it was anymore.
The footsteps paused. “Um, actually, I’m just here to paint the sets…” a soft male voice spoke, causing you to open your eyes and sit up.
A familiar face stood a few metres away from you, paintbrushes and paints in hand. He had black hair that slightly covered his eyes, cat-like eyes and small lips that were pursed at the awkward interaction the two of you had just had.
“Sorry,” you apologised, getting to your feet. “It’s been a rough day,” you paused. “You’re Kevin, right?”
He looked surprised that you knew who he was. “Oh. Yes, actually.”
“I’m close with Juyeon,” you explained, realising how strange it might seem that you knew his name and recognised him. “I suppose I should probably have led with that.”
Kevin smiled. “No worries. I know you as well, you’re Y/n. It’s nice to finally meet you.”
“Likewise,” you replied, bending down to collect your script and other belongings, pushing them into your tote bag as quickly as possible. “I’ll get out of your hair, then,” you smiled at him, implying it as your farewell.
“For the record, I don’t think you’re terrible,” Kevin confessed, rolling up the sleeves of his shirt and starting to mix paints. You glanced at him. “Are you in your head a little? Maybe. But you’re far from terrible,” he assured you, his brown eyes brimming with kindness.
“That’s very nice of you to say,” you replied. “Thanks. Although, you seem more like an artist than an actor,” you added, teasing him just a little. You couldn’t help yourself, he was pretty cute.
Kevin laughed. “Fair enough,” he allowed. “If you want me to brag about being the lead in Aladdin in middle school, then I will.”
You placed your tote bag on your shoulder, holding your hands up in surrender. “I take it back,” you said immediately. “You have more experience than I do on stage.” The two of you shared grins.
“You’ll get the hang of it,” Kevin assured you. “If I can do it then you certainly can.”
He seemed really sincere, and you appreciated it. “Thanks, Kevin,” you said, feeling much lighter and in a far better mood than before Kevin had come on stage. “I’ll see you around,” you bid your farewells before exiting the stage.
You’d have to ask Juyeon more about his friend Kevin.
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The next time you and Kevin bumped into each other was after one of your rehearsals a few weeks later.
You had improved in your rehearsal times, with a lot of help from Younghoon – who practiced with you in between classes – and Sunwoo – who you ran lines with anytime the two of you were together. When you were done rehearsing, your director had expressed how happy she was that you were starting to warm up to the stage and really get into the character the way she was hoping you would. Younghoon earned himself two week’s worth of free coffee from you, and your cast finally stopped glaring at you whenever you came to rehearsals.
“Oh, hey,” you greeted Kevin, who started coming onstage to work on the sets with other people who were involved in the production process. “Good to see you again,” you told him.
“You too,” Kevin beamed, his hair falling over his eyes just slightly. You had the urge to brush it out of the way so you could see him better, but you resisted the urge and scolded yourself for being so forward. “You guys are looking pretty good out there,” he complimented, waving at Younghoon as he left the theatre. His older friend gave him a knowing look, making big eyes at him and puckering his lips to tease Kevin about his crush on you.
“Thank you,” you smiled back at him, entirely clueless to Kevin cursing Younghoon with his eyes right in front of you. “The sets are really coming along too,” you commend him, gesturing around you. “It’s certainly adding some more colour to our rehearsals.”
“Glad to hear it,” Kevin replied. “Set painting isn’t exactly my vocation or anything, but it’s a fun way to help out with my skillset.”
“Skillset?” you echoed, tilting his head in curiosity.
“Ah,” Kevin cleared his throat awkwardly. “Um, I’m a fine arts major. So set painting is a little less refined than what I usually do. Not that I’m bragging,” he added quickly.
“Not at all,” you agreed, your eyes widening in realisation. “Fine arts, that’s a really cool major. You must be pretty talented to get into fine arts here, it’s such a competitive major,” your eyes widened in sudden realisation. “I’d love to see something of yours that doesn’t involve painting sets,” you motioned to the stage around you.
Kevin almost blushed. “Really?” he asked, his heart beat hammering in his chest at the idea of you seeing his art.
“Yeah,” you nodded your head eagerly. Partly because you were really curious about his art, but mostly because Kevin was pretty damn cute. “For sure! I mean, if you come to opening night of the play, I’d love to go see your art some time.”
“How’s this Saturday?” Kevin asked, his words almost slurring together at the speed he was talking. “The art department’s putting on an exhibition and a few of my drawings are going to be in it.”
“That sounds great,” you agreed. “Do you think I could bring some friends?”
Kevin nodded, his deep brown eyes brightening at the idea. “For sure! I already invited Juyeon but you can bring Sunwoo along as well.”
“Then I’ll be there,” you promised.
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“Oh my god, are you touching the art?” you heard Kevin exclaim semi-loudly. You froze from your place, pointing at the water fountain from which you were filling up a cup of water to drink.
“What?” you asked dumbly, your eyes widening as Kevin smirked, hiding his laughter.
It was the Saturday of Kevin’s exhibition and you were doing your best to blend in with all the artistically-minded people in the room; admiring the paintings, motioning at the sculptures and pondering over the meanings behind the light exhibitions.
“I thought this was just a regular water fountain,” you tried to defend yourself.
“It is, I’m just messing with you,” Kevin shrugged, causing you to exhale in relief and slap Kevin’s arm.
“That was awful of you,” you scolded, unable to hide the large grin making its way onto your face. “You suck.”
“So I’ve heard,” Kevin retorted easily. “Hi. Thanks for coming.”
“Thanks for inviting me,” you replied. “So, when am I going to see your pieces?” you asked, motioning around the room. It was filled to the brim and people were bustling around the room to get a good look at every piece.
“Right now if you’re up for it,” Kevin suggested, waving as Juyeon and Sunwoo made their way over to the pair of you. You had excused yourself to get some water when Kevin spotted you and came over. “Hey guys. Sunwoo, good to see you again.”
“You too,” Sunwoo replied courteously, which was unlike him. Sunwoo knew Kevin vaguely through Juyeon, who was the same age as Kevin and had a lot of classes with him, and Eric, who Kevin often hung out with because they both spoke English. “Any of these yours?”
“A few,” Kevin said modestly.
Sunwoo nodded, looking around. “Are they good or are they more… conceptual?” he asked, his own way of asking whether or not Kevin’s art was a piece of crap or not.
You rolled your eyes. “Your eloquence astounds me, Sunwoo,” you said sarcastically.
“Well I might as well get to the point,” Sunwoo chided, glancing back at Kevin. “So?”
Kevin, who was observing you and Sunwoo with the same amused smile that Juyeon was, motioned the three of you over as he led you in the direction of his drawings. “I’m not so sure if they’re good, or conceptual, but I suppose you could judge that for yourself,” he told Sunwoo, coming to a halt in front of a display of drawings.
The drawings were lively and bright; colours in the form of pastels and charcoal bringing richness and warmth to the image. Most of his drawings depicted a faceless person. There were multiple drawings where the person was being portrayed from the back, and ones that were head-on didn’t have any facial features.
“These are amazing,” you breathed out, enchanted by the creativity of the drawings, as well as the immense detail that went into them.
“I like them,” Sunwoo decided, causing Juyeon to nod in agreement.
“They’re really good,” Juyeon complimented his friend, patting him on the shoulder. “I’m really glad you decided to put something on display this year.” Juyeon knew all about the artistic slump Kevin was in last year, so he didn’t have any art on display.
Kevin thanked Juyeon quietly, still studying your expression. “Can I ask why they’re faceless?” you asked, tilting your head as you studied the drawings further.
“Ah, that,” Kevin began, an uncharacteristic shyness appearing in his tone. “Well, I’ve been inspired by somebody for a few months now,” he explained. “I suppose I made my drawings faceless because I don’t want people to know who my muse is. I’m not ready to face how I feel when I draw them yet, and I think it’s too personal to put in an exhibition.”
You nodded your head, understanding where he was coming from. “That’s really great. I hope that one day I’ll get to see their face,” you said kindly, genuinely enjoying his art. Your eyes widened as you realised something. “Hey, do you know the other students in your major well?” you asked him.
Kevin raised an eyebrow at your sudden change of topic. “Yeah, I think so. We’re a small major and I have all of my 300-level classes with all the same people. Why do you ask?”
“Would you be able to recognise one of your peer’s work?” you inquired, the sketchbook in your dorm room burning a hole in your mind. He might be able to solve my curiosity.
“Maybe,” Kevin drawled slowly. “Why?” he found your sudden change of pace surprising. “What’s up?”
“Well, I found someone’s sketchbook in one of my classes and I was wondering who it belonged to,” you began, hesitating before bringing up the sketchbook you found in your Psychology class. “But they didn’t put their name on it so I can’t return it to the owner. It was really detailed and skilled work, so I thought they might be a fine arts major.”
Kevin’s heart plummeted into his stomach.
His worst nightmare had come true: you had found his sketchbook. His sketchbook that was filled with his heart-felt drawings of you. And here you were, asking him if he knew who it belonged to. Somehow, it was equal parts thrilling and mortifying.
Sunwoo, having heard about your secret admirer decided to check out a different part of the exhibition, but Juyeon – who was hearing this for the first time – stayed out of curiosity. “You found someone’s sketchbook?” he repeated. “What was in it?”
You laughed awkwardly. “Oh. Well, here’s the thing… There’s some drawings of me in it,” you admitted, feeling shy about divulging everything about the sketchbook to Kevin. “I just… I guess I want to meet the person that made me feel so vibrant and beautiful when looking at the drawings.”
“You have an admirer,” Juyeon realised, beaming at you; eyes squinting into little crescents. “That’s adorable. Does it say anything inside?”
“Yeah it does, actually,” you told him, giving him a smile before meeting Kevin’s eyes again. “All of the drawings are signed with the handle Moon scribbles,” you recalled. “No name or phone number, though.”
Juyeon’s brows furrowed together. “Kev, isn’t Moon scribbles-“
“A really interesting name?” Kevin cut Juyeon off, sending him the clear message that he wasn’t ready to tell you about the fact that you were his muse and he couldn’t stop thinking about you.
Getting the message, Juyeon eagerly agreed, thanking Kevin for finishing his train of thought. “Um, I don’t think I’ve heard of it before. But if you show me the drawings, maybe I could recognise the style?” Kevin suggested, coming up with a solution for you to find the owner of the sketchbook.
“That would be really great, actually,” you acknowledged. “I could bring it by the next time we hang out,” you suggested, excited to figure out who you should thank for their hard work.
“Next time?” Kevin echoed, excitement filling his stomach. “Are you really so eager to solve your mystery?” he teased you.
“Well, you’re not such a bad addition,” you added with a wink.
Kevin’s heart soared.
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You met up with Kevin in the library a few days later to show him your sketchbook. It was good timing because you definitely needed to study for your Psychology class after zoning out in your last few lectures, so the library was the perfect setting to meet.
“Hey,” you greeted Kevin, taking the seat next to him on one of the sofas in the more secluded area of the library.
“Hi,” Kevin mumbled in return, his voice sounding quieter and more hoarse than usual. At first, you thought it might be the fact that he had to whisper that made him sound more quiet. Then, you spotted the dark circles under his eyes and the fact that he was wearing glasses, which he didn’t normally do.
“You okay?” you asked him, seeing him stretch out and yawn in his seat.
“Me?” Kevin murmured, meeting your gaze with tired, glazed-over eyes. “Yeah, I’m good.”
“Not to sound like an asshole who’s telling you that you look terrible, which I’m not, but you look really tired,” you had to tell Kevin. “Are you sure you’re up for this? You look like you could use some sleep.”
“Sleep,” Kevin said the word like it’s funny. “Sleep and I… we aren’t friends.”
You smiled sympathetically at your new friend. “Up all night studying?” you wondered.
“Insomnia,” Kevin corrected you.
“Ah,” you nodded in understanding. “So sleep is… a distant acquaintance?” you played off his previous joke.
“Something like that,” he allowed, moving his glasses up onto his forehead to rub his eyes. “I’m good, though. I look like this most days, don’t worry about it.”
“If you say so,” you trail off, your concern still not being calmed by Kevin’s explanation. “We can do this anther time if it helps, though. I wouldn’t want you to be unwell because of me.”
Kevin grinned, adjusting the beanie on his head. “But I couldn’t possibly be unwell if I’m around you,” he said, pointing his finger in the air as if he had made an excellent realisation. “Now, show me the sketchbook.”
You pulled the sketchbook out of your tote bag and handed it over to him.
Seeing it right in front of him, Kevin could confirm that it was definitely his sketch book that you had found. Although the chances of another person on campus being entirely smitten by you to the point where you became their artistic muse was slim, it wasn’t zero.
“Can I,” he motioned to the sketchbook, asking for permission to open it. It was incredibly ironic, but Kevin was too embarrassed to come clean about the sketchbook being his.
“Go ahead,” you nodded, telling him to flip through the pages.
Kevin did so, pretending he was seeing all the drawings for the first time. He paused on every page, looking over the details in the sketches and the way they realistically depicted your features. Even though he was the one who drew them, Kevin could admit that the drawings were really great. They were great because he appreciated the subject and was inspired by you. That much was clear to anybody.
“Wow,” Kevin said when he was done looking at all the drawings, holding the sketchbook on his lap. “That’s… you,” he observed, as if he didn’t already know.
“So I’m not crazy?” you asked immediately, biting your lip. “That’s me?” you glanced down at the open page in front of Kevin, seeing the resemblance between you and the person in the drawing.
“Oh it’s definitely you,” Kevin confirmed. “Unless you have an identical twin somewhere out there, there’s no doubt in my mind that it’s you.”
You let out a relieved sigh, leaning back onto the sofa. “Okay, good. I thought I was being really shallow and presumptuous at first but it’s good that you agree,” you told him, feeling a weight being lifted off your chest. “So, does it look familiar?”
“I’m not sure,” Kevin replied vaguely, wondering how he was going to get himself out of this one. “Do you think I could keep this? Maybe look over it a few more times when I’m not about to pass out,” he added.
“Sure,” you allowed. You trusted Kevin enough that he wouldn’t lose the sketchbook, since all of your mutual friends spoke very highly of him. Besides, you were becoming more impressed by him every time the two of you met. “I hope something comes up. I looked moonscribbles up on Instagram but their account is private and they haven’t responded to my follow request yet.”
Kevin had completely forgotten about his private art Instagram account. Before he was inspired by you to draw, he was in a serious slump and had been spiralling downwards. In this time, he made his Instagram account private in an effort to not think about it too much. Kevin scolded himself for not realising that you would look him up on social media to find him.
“That’s too bad,” he said sympathetically. “Maybe they’ll respond soon?”
“I hope so,” you mumbled, sighing. “I just… I want to meet them.”
“Just out of curiosity, why do you want to meet them so badly?” Kevin wondered. “Because they drew pretty pictures of you?”
“Kind of?” you replied unsurely. “That’s definitely part of it. I guess I wanted to meet somebody who thought I was vibrant and colourful and beautiful,” you shrugged, glancing down at your lap. “Because I don’t think that about myself at all. It’s why I suck at acting, and it’s why my cast mates hate me. I just thought that if somebody out there really thought I was special, maybe I would have a reason to believe it, too.”
Kevin felt butterflies rising in his stomach again, but not in a fluttery, nervous way. He was anxious about what was going to happen. “I’ll do my best to help out,” he said gently. “And Y/n?” you looked back up at Kevin. “I think you’re special,” he admitted. “A lot of people do. Juyeon, Sunwoo, Eric, Younghoon… You don’t need Moon scribbles to be special, you’re already special to us.”
A grateful, shy smile spread across your lips at his words. “Thanks, Kev. For your help, and for saying that. I really appreciate it,” you acknowledged afterwards, realising that Kevin was going out of his way to figure out your mystery while he was dead tired.
Noticing the shift in atmosphere, you cleared your throat and changed the subject, heart hammering. “I’m going to stay here and study for my Psychology class, so you don’t have to stay if you’d rather get some sleep.”
“Psychology?” Kevin echoed. “Are you taking it with Professor Shin?”
“Yes,” you groaned. “She talks so fast that my hand feels like it’s going to fall off after her lectures,” you complained.
Kevin laughed. “I can relate,” he commented. “I didn’t think you were in my class. I’m in section fifteen, what about you?”
“Section twenty-two,” you said, shrugging. “Although I’m glad to hear that it’s not just my class that she’s driving crazy.”
“Ditto,” Kevin agreed. “I actually have to get some studying done for that class too. You mind if I stay?”
“Not at all,” you promised. “It always helps to study with a friend,” you added, pulling out your notes and laptop from your tote bag.
After setting up all of your work, you quickly got to studying, cross-referencing terms from your notes to the textbook to make sure you didn’t write down anything wrong in your hurry. Kevin was silent and still beside you, which you took no notice of because you were so focused. In your distraction, he soon drifted off to sleep with his pencil still in hand, head lulling back to rest on the sofa as his eyes shut by their own accord.
Forty minutes later, you had finished both of the units on Social Psychology and furrowed your brows at an unfamiliar name. “Hey Kev, did you guys talk about-“ you paused after turning to face your new friend, seeing that he was peacefully sleeping, his head now leaning to the side to face you.
The sight of him sleeping peacefully warmed your heart, especially after he had talked about his insomnia earlier. Smiling, you pulled your headphones out of your tote bag so you could listen to the recorded lectures in favour of waking up Kevin to ask him for help. As carefully as you could, you slid the pencil out of his palm and placed it to the side so he could get some rest.
You spent the next half an hour studying in silence, until you noticed Eric, Sunwoo and Jacob walking up to you and Kevin. “Hey,” Sunwoo greeted you, earning a wave from you.
“Hi guys,” you whispered back. “What’s up?”
“Are you and Kevin dating?” Eric interrupted whatever Sunwoo was about to say, an excited glint in his eyes. “You guys are in the make-out section of the library!”
You made a face. “That’s why nobody’s here?” you realised, looking around and frowning. “No, Eric. We’re just studying together.”
Jacob grinned. “Looks like Kevin’s making really great progress on that front,” he teased. “I’m Jacob, by the way,” he added, since the two of you hadn’t properly been introduced yet.
“I’m Y/n,” you replied. “Nice to finally meet you! These rascals have told me all about you,” you motioned to Sunwoo and Eric, who beamed proudly.
“I’ve heard a lot about you as well,” Jacob replied. “And I’ve come to collect Kevin. If he doesn’t wake up soon, he’s going to miss his Ceramics class,” he explained.
“Aw,” you pouted, glancing over at Kevin. “He looks so peaceful when he’s sleeping, though. And he said he was struggling to sleep.”
“Yeah,” Jacob agreed. “I hate waking him. Believe me, I’m his roommate so I see it all first-hand. But attendance is graded in this class, so…” he trailed off with a small shrug before leaning over and waking Kevin up.
Kevin awoke, eyes blinking drowsily as he took in the image of four people staring at him. “What did I do?” he asked, wondering what prompted all the attention.
You grinned, finding the sight rather cute. “Your wake-up service is here to tell you it’s ceramics time,” you explained.
“I fell asleep,” Kevin realised. “I’m sorry,” he apologised, feeling bad that you were studying in silence when you were supposed to be helping each other out.
“Don’t be, I’m glad you got some shut-eye,” you assured him. “Go get ready for your class.”
Kevin gathered all of his things into his bag and waved his goodbyes, trudging out of the library with Jacob. “So,” Jacob began, a wide grin gracing his features. “That’s Y/n?” he teased.
“Yes, that’s Y/n,” Kevin replied quietly.
“The famous Y/n?”
“Oh my god please tell me you didn’t say anything to Y/n.”
“What should I have said? Oh so you’re the Y/n that Kevin has been in love with all semester! The famous muse! Nice to meet you, I’m the guy that has to listen to him gush about you.”
“Don’t make me hide your guitar.”
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moonscribbles accepted your follow request!
You sat up from where you were lying down on your bed, startled at the notification you had just received. Racing to open your Instagram app, you looked at moonscribbles’s account. None of the drawings on their account were of you, so you couldn’t decide if they were the right person. But they simply had to be. They went to your school, they studied art…
Braving it, you decided to send them a private message.
Hi! I think I found your sketchbook in Professor Shin’s lecture hall. How do you want me to return it to you?
You waited for a response, which came within a minute.
You can keep it.
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You were pouting over your cereal in the dining hall when Juyeon joined you, his plate stacked high with all kinds of delicious breakfast foods. “Hey pouty,” he teased you, giving your shoulder a gentle nudge when he took the seat next to yours. His smile never failed to cheer you up, which is why your frown caused concern to grow in your best friend. “Why the long face?”
“I’m never going to meet moonscribbles,” you told him, your eyes uncharacteristically sad and shiny when they met Juyeon’s.
He startled at how upset you were. “What? Why would you say that?”
“They accepted my follow request on Instagram,” you explained. “And they told me I could keep the sketchbook. Then they went offline,” you recalled. “I guess I was wrong about them.”
“I’m sorry. Whoever they are, they clearly have no idea what they’re missing.” Juyeon frowned, sympathetic of your situation and confused about what Kevin thought he was doing.
“What who’s missing?” Jacob and Eric took the seats opposite you and Juyeon, their plates equally filled with breakfast foods.
“Moon scribbles,” you said vaguely, not wanting to get into it with anyone other than Juyeon and Sunwoo. While you were starting to get to know Jacob better, you didn’t feel comfortable enough around them to discuss the matter with them. And of course you loved Eric, and he knew your situation, but you hadn’t anticipated feeling so upset about Moon scribbles’s response.
“Kevin?” Jacob asked innocently, picking up his fork and elbowing Eric so he wouldn’t steal his food. “What did he do?”
Your eyes snapped over to Jacob. “What did you just say?” you asked. Juyeon’s eyes widened, mouth slightly open as Jacob revealed Kevin’s secret to you without even realising it.
“I was asking what Kevin did,” Jacob repeated. “You said Moon scribbles, didn’t you? Kevin’s artist handle?”
“That’s clever,” Eric chimed in, innocently eating his food. “Since his last name is Moon, and all.” Then his eyes widened and he realised the situation, his gaze snapping over at you to see how you were handling the reveal.
In that moment, you’d never felt like more of an idiot.
“Kevin is Moon scribbles,” you echoed, dropping your fork onto your tray.
“Oh,” Jacob paused, reading the room as he saw the way Juyeon was staring at him. “Did you… not know that?”
“No,” you told him, having lost your already minimal appetite. “He didn’t say a thing.”
“Oh boy,” Jacob said awkwardly. “I feel like I definitely just messed up.”
“No, no,” you denied, waving your hand in Jacob’s direction. “Not at all. I’m just glad that I know who it is,” you tried to convince him, as well as yourself. “Did you know?” you asked Juyeon. “That day at the exhibition… You were trying to tell me that you knew it was Kevin, weren’t you?”
“Yes, I knew,” Juyeon replied slowly, confirming your suspicions.
For a moment, a dull pain ached in your chest. “Why didn’t you tell me?” you asked, hurt that your best friend had lied to you.
“Because I figured Kevin wanted to tell you in his own time,” he explained. “I wasn’t trying to keep anything from you, I just thought he’d do the right thing and explain it to you himself. It felt like it wasn’t my news to tell.”
“Okay,” you nodded. “I understand,” you got to your feet, grabbing your tray after putting your bag on your shoulder.
Juyeon stood up with you. “Are you upset with me?” he asked. “Because I understand if you are.”
You did your best to smile, not caring if it looked real or not. “I’m not upset with you,” you assured him. “I’m upset, but not at you. I have to get to the last dress rehearsal before opening night, so,” you glanced over at Jacob and Eric, who both looked mortified. “Enjoy your breakfast,” you told them before putting your tray away and walking to the theatre as quickly as you could.
“Hey!” your director greeted you when you came in, beaming. “You’re like a half hour early,” she observed.
“Oh, I’ve just come to go over lines and talk to some friends,” you lied, smiling at her before stepping backstage. The set design volunteers were adding last-minute touched to their sets, and you knew that was where you’d find Kevin.
“Hey,” he greeted you when you arrived in front of him. “What’s up?”
“Moon scribbles doesn’t want their sketchbook back,” you told him, as if you didn’t know that he was Moon scribbles. “So you don’t have to keep looking for them,” you added.
“Oh, okay,” Kevin nodded as if he didn’t already know this. “Did you want the sketchbook back?”
“You can keep it,” you declined, crossing your arms over your chest. “It’s rightfully yours anyway.”
Kevin paused his painting. “It is?” he asked, voice squeaking just slightly in surprise.
“Yeah, Moon scribbles,” you narrowed your eyes at him. “Besides, it’s the only way you’ll get to see me ever again, anyway,” you added, frowning as you turned around to go. “Bye, Kevin.”
“Wait,” Kevin put his fine paintbrush down to stop you from leaving.
“What?” you asked him, facing him with a raised eyebrow. “You know what, I actually really want to hear this. What exactly is it that you’re going to say to save this situation?” you wondered.
Kevin sighed, running a hand through his hair. “I didn’t mean for it to go on this long,” he began.
“That’s a joke,” you accused. “You knew how much this meant to me! Just admit that you were never going to tell me that you’re Moon scribbles.”
“How could I tell you?” Kevin exclaimed, startling you with his sudden increase in volume. “How could I just come forward and tell you that it was me? What would you have thought of me?”
“I’d have thought more of you than I do now,” you retorted. “Look, I get it now. I read the situation all wrong. You don’t think I’m special or vibrant or any of those things. You just drew me because I was there, I suppose,” you decided, feeling your heart dropping in your chest at your own words.
“That is not true,” Kevin denied, shaking his head. “You don’t really believe that, do you?”
“I suppose you might have though I was pretty if you drew me,” you allowed. “But clearly, I was putting too much onto this whole Moon scribbles thing, and it didn’t mean anything to you at all. Which is fine, it doesn’t have to mean anything. It just sucks that you couldn’t just tell me that to my face,” you confessed wholeheartedly. “But it’s fine. You can just go back to drawing your faceless muse now, I’m over it,” you lied.
“That’s not why I didn’t want to tell you that I’m Moon scribbles,” Kevin insisted. “I didn’t want to tell you because I didn’t want you to think I drew you just because you’re beautiful.”
“That worked out well,” you muttered.
Kevin sighed. “I don’t care about your looks, as ironic as that sounds. When I first saw you… You exuded an aura. I know that sounds cheesy and not everyone believes in vibes or energy, or whatever, but it’s true. You inspired me to draw and be creative,” he explained. “But I liked you when I met you. When I saw you in class and when I saw you around Sunwoo and Juyeon. You don’t get it. You are my faceless muse. You have been ever since our Cultural Anthropology class last semester.”
That stopped your train of thought. “You were in that class?” you repeated, confused.
“Yes I was. The first time I saw you… I swear, I haven’t drawn anything other than you since that day,” Kevin’s tone was uncharacteristically serious, and you felt inclined to believe him. “No matter how hard I tried. Flowers turned into your eyes, landscapes became your hair; I was a man possessed. I still am.”
“Then why not tell me all of this?” you wondered, frustrated with the situation.
“I thought that if you found out I was Moon scribbles, you’d just think I was shallow,” he paused. “Or worse.”
You rose an eyebrow. “Worse?”
Now it was Kevin’s turn to sound frustrated. “I mean, I’m not so great and special. I figured you’d be disappointed that it’s me.”
Your heart clenched for him. “How could I be disappointed that it’s you?” you asked him. “You’re great. It’s me who’s awful.”
“You aren’t awful,” he denied. “You’re so much greater than you can see. Don’t you get it? You inspired me to create after the most awful year I’ve ever had artistically. I drew you instead of studying, I drew you instead of leaving my dorm, hell, I drew you instead of sleeping. You didn’t misunderstand anything. I do think that you’re special, and vibrant.”
You buried your face in your hands. “Okay,” you spoke quietly, your mind spinning in circles. “I believe you.”
Kevin nodded. “Good.”
You nodded back at him, unsure of how to continue. “So… You have a sketchbook full of drawings of me,” you decided to tease him, just to bring some of the usual lightheartedness you felt around Kevin back.
Kevin visibly reddened at your words. “I mean… I’d be lying if I said it was just one,” he confessed.
You brightened at his words. “You have multiple sketchbooks full of drawings of me?” you exclaimed.
“I made drawings of you for the art exhibition,” he reminded you. “I haven’t been able to draw anything else for seven months. And I draw a lot, so the sketchbooks just started piling up. Plus my iPad,” catching the delighted glint in your eyes, Kevin cut himself off. “You know what, we don’t have to talk about my iPad.”
You smiled, flattered that Kevin had been so inspired by you. “Well, thank you. For filling sketchbooks and iPads and whatever other mediums with drawings of me. You made me feel seen for the first time in a really long time, and I appreciate it,” you acknowledged his efforts. “Is this why everyone acts so weird when we’re together?” you put the pieces together.
“What are you talking about?” Kevin asked, dreading your answer.
“Eric practically skips over to me whenever he sees me now, asking about you and all kinds of other things. Jacob is a lot more subtle, but he looks at me like a proud dad sometimes,” you explained.
Kevin rested his palm against his forehead. “Why are they so obvious?”
“The real question is: Why was Juyeon the least obvious,” you retorted.
“I think he just wanted us both to figure things out in our own time,” Kevin mused, earning a hum and a nod in agreement from you.
“Hey Y/n,” Younghoon poked his head around the corner. “We’re getting ready for rehearsals. Are you going to be done in time to change?” he asked, eyes flitting between you and Kevin.
“Yeah, I’m good to start getting ready. Thanks Younghoon,” you agreed, grateful that your friend wasn’t making a big deal out of what he might have overheard. Younghoon nodded, disappearing with a wink to get himself ready. “Well, that’s my cue,” you trailed off, motioning to the backstage area where you had to get changed for your last dress rehearsal.
Kevin nodded, slightly upset that your conversation didn’t come to a closure yet. “Okay,” he replied. “I guess I’ll see you around?”
You agreed with him, grabbing your bag from where you dropped it on the floor and making your way to the changing rooms. Before you opened the door, you turned back to face Kevin, who had been watching you leave. “I came to your exhibition, so you have to come to opening night,” you reminded him of the agreement the two of you made.
“I’ll be there,” Kevin assured you, taking it as a sign that the two of you could still – at the very least – be friends.
“Good,” you smiled. “And after opening night, we have a few days off so I would definitely be available, say, Wednesday?” you informed him, hoping he’d get the idea.
Kevin brightened up, his posture straightening suddenly. “Oh?” he stammered. “Would you maybe want to get dinner on Wednesday?” he offered. “Like, a date?”
You grinned, your eye dropping into a wink. “What an excellent idea,” you told him. “By the way, don’t bother asking the boys about what I like, they’re completely clueless. My favourite flowers are peonies.”
“Peonies,” Kevin repeated, accompanied by a nod. “Any preferred colour?” he asked, giddy with excitement at the outcome your confrontation had.
You shrugged. “Surprise me.”
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note: okay i know you guys waited forever for this so thank you so much for your patience!! i hope you guys enjoyed it xx
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💫✨💕send this to ten bloggers you think are wonderful. keep the game going 💕✨
Have a nice day/night/dance battle with the peacocks! :D
Alright, since you are a) very cool and fun and b) you took the time to send such a lovely message, I’m going to give you a part of a fic series I started many moons ago and abandoned for other things
🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸
Hatter Has Definitely Kissed Every Executive At Least Once And This Is How It Went:  Ann Edition 
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Rating: PG-13
Tags: Alcohol, shenanigans, everyone’s cutting loose, mild reluctance (but these people don’t turn down dares so y’know)
Summary: As a “team building” exercise, all of the Executives have met for a little get-together; and with alcohol and a rousing game of “truth or dare” involved, what could possibly go wrong?
“Ann,” Chisiya says, “truth or dare?”
Ann sighs.  Her red-lacquered fingernails tap rhythmically against the green of a beer bottle, the glassy sound barely audible above the chatting of the half-drunk executives.
“I already told you, I’m not playing.”
“The fuck you aren’t,” Niragi snaps, grip on his rifle tightening as he downs another shot of vodka, “no skips, that’s the rule.”
“If I had to do it, you have to do it,” Keiichi offers mournfully, taking a sad sip of bourbon from a crystal-cut glass, “it’s only fair.”
Ann turns her attention towards Hatter.  He’s taking a healthy swig from—ew, is that a bottle of peppermint schnapps?  She wrinkles her nose in disgust as he raises his eyebrows in a suggestive arch.
“This is a terrible idea,” she tells him for the fourth time in the last hour, “and you should feel bad for making us do this.”
“Ann.  Sweet, darling,” Hatter takes note of her unimpressed grimace, “angry Ann.  This is all an exercise in trust.  A way for all of us executives to bond.”
“And because he loves the drama,” Aguni adds.
“I really do,” Hatter says wistfully, “So, come on.  One round and then you can go back to summoning demons or whatever you do in your little basement crypt.”
Ann sighs.  Everyone is looking at her with expectant eyes.  She finishes the rest of her beer and puts the empty bottle on the table.
“Fine,” she says, “One round, and then I’m leaving.”
“The ice queen giveth in,” Chisiya says, the corners of his mouth turning up onto a mischievous grin, “So, pick your poison.  Truth...or dare?”
“Dare,” Ann says coolly, and the room erupts.  Even Last Boss, who had been lurking in the corner until now, gasps.  In a rare show of camaraderie, Niragi slaps Chisiya on the back and tells him to ‘give that bitch a good one.’
Imbeciles.  All of them.
“Everyone gather ‘round the table,” Chisiya purrs—yes, purrs—as he looks her with a twinkle in his eye, “because this particular date involves each and every one of you.”
“Even me?” asks Last Boss.
“But of course,” Chisiya says, “we need everyone if we’re going to play...spin the bottle.”
Ann feels the blood drain from her face.  Oh, this little blond twerp is despicable.  He is evil and terrible and—
“No re-spins.  No backing out.  The kiss must last a minimum of five seconds, but it can go longer if you feel so inclined.”
“I won’t,” Ann answers curtly.  There is not a person in this room she could ever want to kiss.  (Except for Mira, but.  Well.  That’s a thought for another day.)
“I don’t know,” Niragi says with an exaggerated flick of his tongue, the silver piercing winking at her in a supposedly seductive manner, “once you get a taste of a real man, you might find yourself hooked.”
“Perhaps Niragi wouldn’t be so bad,” Mira muses with a serene smile, “his oral fixation is off-putting on the best of days, but it might translate well to a more intimate experience.  That is, until he starts talking again.  Then it’ll be terrible.”
Niragi’s face twists into a sharp scowl as he tries to sputter a comeback; drunkenness and embarrassment have apparently robbed him of his mental faculties, so he crosses his arms over his chest and pouts.
“Alright, let’s get this over with,” Ann says with a huff.  
She places her empty beer bottle, label-side down, on the long wooden table.  For the first time this evening, everyone is silent.  Honestly, it’s kind of nice—it would be better if she didn’t have to end up kissing one of them, but, beggars can’t be choosers.
“You know,” Ann says, “there is a possibility it could land on me.  Does that mean I don’t have to kiss anyone?”
“That means you get to choose,” Chisiya says, “which...well, that will most certainly add some spice to the night, wouldn’t it?”
“Very evil,” Aguni concludes with a nod, “I like it.”
Hm.  Well, it was worth a shot.  
With one final, annoyed sigh, Ann places her hand on the bottle and gives it a powerful spin.  Maybe it’ll spin right off the table and shatter on the floor.  She wouldn’t have to do anything weird, and then she could just go back to her room and take a long bath.  Alone.  The way the universe intended.
It’s impossible not to watch the bottle spin, light refracting off the glass and casting flickering spots of light around the room.  It’s just a kiss.  She’s kissed people before.  Many people.  At least two.  
Friends kiss each other all the time.  Not her friends, but other people and their friends.  And these people aren’t really ‘friends,’ but they’re...acquaintances.  Colleagues.  Does that make it better or worse?
It’s slowing down now.  With each passing second, her fate is being decided by the neck of the bottle.  Mira, Last Boss, Keiichi—oh, God, please don’t let it be Keiichi, they have a meeting in the morning, that would be so awkward...
But, luckily, the bottle does not land on Keiichi.  It does not land on Niragi, nor does it land on Chisiya.  Last Boss has also been spared, as have Aguni and Mira.  That leaves only one candidate...
“Oh, Ann,” Hatter says, clapping his hands together and looking entirely too pleased with this very strange turn of events, “I always knew there was something between us!”
The thing he’s talking about is tolerance—she tolerates him because it is both sensible and beneficial to be on his good side.  He also, surprisingly enough, defers to her expertise on certain matters, which is more than can be said for her previous employers.  They are friendly, certainly, but most certainly not friends.  
And...lovers?  
Out of the question.
But Fate (and a smug little blonde) have decided that they share a moment of passion. Could she have spun worse?  Yes.  Could she have spun better?  Absolutely.  100%.  Without a doubt.
But Ann is a woman of integrity.  When she commits, she commits.  And so, as she walks to the other side of the table, she keeps her spine straight and her head held high.  She refuses to let these people see her falter.
“In addition to the parameters already given, I’d like to establish some rules of my own,” she says coolly, barely resisting the temptation to roll her eyes when he takes another gulp of alcohol.  Yep, that’s definitely peppermint schnapps he has—she can tell by the stench of it, the way it’s sharpness burns at her eyes.
She’s always hated peppermint schnapps.
“Fine, fine,” Hatter says with a wave of his hand, “as long as you promise not to fall completely in love with me in the process.”
That gets a laugh from everyone—and even Ann considers cracking a smile at the thought of someone like her ever feeling something for someone like him.  
“No tongue.  No teeth.  And,” Ann tell him firmly, “if you want to leave this room with your balls intact, I suggest you keep your hands to yourself.”
The group ooh’s at that.  Ann doesn’t look at them.  She keeps her gaze focused on the man in front of her, watching him intently for any signs of weakness.
All she gets is a smirk.
“I would expect nothing less of you, Ann,” he replies, “however, you’re more than welcome to put your hands anywhere on my person.”
He leans in slightly, almost as if he’s letting her in on a secret.
“I could even give you a few suggestions, if you like.”
What a perfectly hideous thing for him to say.  It doesn’t help that he’s fluttering his eyelashes at her like some kind of lovestruck cartoon character.  
It’s annoying.
He’s annoying.
With a roll of her eyes, Ann grabs Takeru by the silk of his obnoxious robe and crashes her mouth against his-- because she’ll be damned if he’s the one kissing her.  
Five...
The group gasps-- Takeru included, the noise muffled by the seal of their lips as she kisses him fully and firmly.
Four...
And it’s...not as gross as it could be, but it’s still a very odd experience.  His lips are soft enough, and his beard-moustache-whatever-the-fuck is scratchy in a way that is.  Well, it’s interesting.  Not good, but...interesting.
Three...
“This is fucking weird,” Niragi shouts, sounding very disgusted.
Two...
“It’s like watching my parents,” Last Boss adds, “when they were still trying to convince my sister and I they were still in love and weren’t going to get a divorce.”
One...
And done.
“Okay,” Ann says flatly as she pulls away and swallows a grimace at the sight of her favorite shade of lipstick on Takeru’s lips (and is actually a very nice compliment to his skin tone, frustratingly enough) “Can I go now.” 
For good measure, she releases his robe with a disdainful flick of her fingers and subtly brushes her hands off on her shorts.  It’s not enough to get the scent of peppermint schnapps and awkwardness off of her skin, but it can’t hurt.
“A deal’s a deal,” Chisiya concedes, his eternally mischievous smirk stretched across his cheeks, “And I must say, I didn’t expect you to fulfill your end of the bargain so...enthusiastically.”
“That’s because nobody can resist me,” Takeru gloats, bottle of alcohol back in his grip as if it had never truly left, “It’s not her fault I’m so delectable--”
“Detestable,” Ann corrects under her breath.
“--And, even though you’ll try to deny it,” Takeru continues, disregarding her comment, “both of us know that there’s a part of you that liked kissing me.”
“I liked the part when she stopped,” Mira chirps cheerfully, “In fact, I think we all did!”
“You have no idea,” Aguni murmurs solemnly into his drink, his eyes darting towards Takeru with an unimpressed look.  That’s...hm, there’s clearly some kind of story there, although Ann isn’t sure she wants to know about it. 
Everyone begins talking amongst themselves once again-- Niragi has offered to spin the bottle next, and there’s a small argument breaking out over whether or not the group should continue with their original game of ‘truth or dare’ or pivot to this new one. 
And, Ann?
Ann doesn’t stick around to find out. 
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kanmom51 · 3 years
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The members just fueled the sheep today by screaming when Tae and JK touched. What was that? Why did they feel that was cute to do? That was strange and odd, unless TK are dating. Either way, it was enough fuel to send them over the edge and now the are 100% convinced they're real and the members support them. Don't even get me started on the hate JM got today, accusing him of purposely ruining a TK moment and inserting himself. I no longer think Jikook are real after today cause of the members.
Ask 2/ I find the members screams when TK touched today pretty sus and Jimin's face, although he smiled, seems he was caught off guard and Tae sticking his tongue out to JK before it happened. If Jikook are dating, I feel that was pretty disrespectful. For members to encourage a flirty moment between two other members, if that said member is already in a relationship. Its the first time I have ever wondered about TK and that makes me feel so bad. Not because I have a problem with it, but because of JM.
Ask 3/ Whoever said Jinmin are dating are probably right. After today, there is no way Jikook are dating. The member would not yell and cheer on Tae/kook like that if they were in a relationship with someone else. Jin photobombed JM's selfie with a heart. And JM is struggling with TK lately and it shows. I think Jikook were very much dating and real, but this past year its not been the same. Saying JM is sexy does not equal dating, they all that. However JM getting pissy over TK says a lot. Jealous ex.
Ask 4/ People think something isn't off with Jikook, when JM has shown lately he is uncomfortable with Tae and JK getting close. At Muster JK puts his arm around Tae and JM purposely gets between them. Today Tae gets a little too close to JK and JM purposely makes a moment with Tae. JM is never jealous over JK unless Tae is involved. So that tells me JM is dating either JK or Tae and TK are getting a little to real for JM's liking. I personally don't think JM is dating JK anymore. I think it's Tae.
So, as you can see I have received a few asks on this subject. The new PTD dance practice clip released yesterday.
Let's start by seeing exactly what this 'moment' everyone is screaming about between JK&Tae that the other members were supposedly going crazy about.
First off, all the members seem to be really having a good time here. It seems like everyone is in a good mood and there are plenty of interactions between the members that have gone unnoticed, because everyone's eyes are on Vminkook.
Second, this is a 3 min. clip of a dance practice. This is most likely a one shot clip (not edited), but, and here is the big but, this isn't a one time practice. Meaning, the members weren't flown into the dance studio to do this one take, shoot it and leave. The members arrived at the studio, interacted, most likely rehearsed the dance several times before shooting this clip, if this was the first take, because it is also likely that there were a few takes of which they chose the one to upload.
What is the importance of this long winded explanation?
To explain that the members do not perform in a vacuum. That the interactions between them during these clips are not detached from everything that was going on prior to this take.
And again, why is this important?
Because when you look at that interaction between Tae&JK it's really absolutely NOTHING what so ever.
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This is the point the cheers come in.
Now, as I see it those cheers can be one of two things:
Either something went on prior to this shot, maybe in the rehearsal or a previous shot that Tae putting his hand on JK's shoulder caused this reaction. Idk, maybe something they talked about or something one of those three did before, who knows.
Or, the members that are pretty hyped up, as I mentioned, they seem to be having a great time, were hyping up and enjoying this part of the choreo, the makne line doing their thing.
Either explanations are possible.
This isn't Tae being flirty. As a matter of fact, at this point neither Tae nor JK are being flirty.
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JM, though, he is sure enjoying his view of JK.
As for JM's hand, that was a bit of an oopsy there, which he pretty much immediately fixed. No, he wasn't going for the bundle, he was going for the hip.
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This isn't our first dance practice rodeo. We know they can go rogue during these practices, letting go, enjoying themselves, and this is what we have here too.
No dramas, no intrigues, nothing of that sort.
I will say this for the millionth time. BTS are human beings. I can't believe I actually spilled the beans here. Yes, they are people like you and me, well maybe not exactly like you and me, seeing they are multimillionaire idols, but you get the idea.
They are not fictional characters in a novel or a Telenovela or K-drama. These are real human beings with real human being feelings. And why do I have to keep repeating this?
Well, it seems some fans think that being in a band and famous makes you out to be promiscuous or able to change your partner/boyfriend like a pair of socks. Or that within a band of 7 members if there would be such change of guard (meaning them changing partners around) that they would continue to be on such good terms with each other or be able to even look at each other, let alone keep on working for so many years with each other.
If Vminkook were in this real K-drama love triangle there would be soooo many behaviours that would have to be explained away and that don't make any kind of sense.
Let's start by them all being friends and on good terms. In what universe would this be if two members in this triangle were fighting over the heart of the third? Either V & JK fighting for JM's heart or JK&JM fighting for V's heart or JM&V fighting for JK's heart?
Then we have Vmin's relationship. Declared soulmates. How would that fit in to this mess, especially if JM&V are supposedly after JK? Wouldn't there be a rivalry here, not a close intimate friendship?
And JK&JM being close and inseparable, how does that fit into the story line?
JM practically pushing JK to sit down and talk with V ITS - how does that fit in?
Them all being cheery, happy, smiley, lovey dovey with each other. How does that fit in?
And there is so much more there that just doesn't make sense if you are into this type of storyline.
If things have changed recently, as some of the asks claim. If JM & JK are over and now it's the time of JK & Tae, how is it that the dynamics between these three hasn't changed? That JM is still all smiley and happy towards Tae, who has supposedly hooked up with his ex? The same Tae that JM pushed JK to talk to during ITS?
You know, even if couples split up, there is residue. There are feelings left, good or bad (longing or anger or hate or sadness). There is never indifference, especially a long term relationship ending. So, if that is the case, if the couple has split, if a new relationship is budding, how is that one member in that triangle, be it JK or JM, so indifferent, accepting, happy & laughing and overall ok with what is going on?
When a long term relationship ends do you think moving on is something you do immediately? Especially with one of your ex's best friends?
JM, JK and Tae are not plastic characters in a soap opera. This isn't Brook or Ridge or Taylor that have been married and divorced so many times I lose count, moving back and forth between those relationships. That isn't real life. And JK/JM/Tae are real people living real lives.
So, believe what you may, that Taekook are real, or that Vmin are real or Jikook are real (you know where I stand on that). But don't flip flop between them or don't make up these illogical theories about them moving in between relationships. Beyond it being fictional it is disrespectful to all three of them.
This sums up this topic for now.  Any other asks sent about this clip or change in JM’s behaviour or Jikook breakup etc. will go unanswered.
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icequeenbae · 3 years
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Desert Flower (m) Ch. 2 | BBH
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Pairing: Baekhyun x Reader x Baëkhyun
Characters: EXO and X-EXO (not all of them mentioned)
EXO vs X-EXO dynamics, complicated relationships, angsty, action, smut (as usual)
Warnings: sorta mingling with your ex’s ‘evil twin’, mentions of blood/ violence (nothing too graphic… I suppose), Y/N gets teary a lot(?), explicit content, rough sex, unprotected sex
Word Count: ~13.5k (full), ~3.4k (Chapter 2)
Summary: Baekhyun, your beloved boyfriend of three years, suddenly breaks up with you and disappears from the city in an attempt to protect you. But leaving you alone and clueless means trouble will surely find you. For it is easy to spot a flower in the desert.
Masterlist   >> One >> Two (m) >> Three (m) >> Four (fin)
Author’s Note: This chapter is going to be a little different! There’s angst, there’s drama, there’s smut... You will find out what I meant by ‘complicated relationships’ 🤭 Don’t forget to share your thoughts^^
Tags: @blahblahblah-boo​ @baeklightsx​ @wooya1224​ @baekklove​
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Chapter 2. Get him back
The day he left you it was pouring, and in your mind, it rained ever since. Hours turned into days, days turned into weeks, and weeks flew by. You did everything on autopilot, without thinking or differentiating between tasks. Everything around you was a grey mess, and you couldn’t maintain a single thought in your head, not one thought that didn’t have something to do with the breakup.
Was it even that? He just left, telling you that it was ‘for your own good’. Asking for no opinions. Frankly, you were angry with him. You would've been furious, but it was hard to tap into your irritation when it hurt so much in your chest. For the first time in your life, you realized that you were gone too far. So far, that you felt like a piece of you was missing now. The one you’d possibly never get back.
You also realized that you belonged fully to that friend circle as well — there wasn’t even anyone for you to talk to anymore, or wallow with, which made your sorry ass feel even more pathetic. Your entire world revolved around your protective boyfriend of three years, and now that he was gone it felt as unsafe as ever. Who knows, maybe it was your sixth sense alerting you as to what was to come.
It happened over a month after your last encounter with Baekhyun.
You were lounging in the campus library, mostly because your weeks of heartbreak caused you to miss a few deadlines, so now you had to take additional assignments to do well at the finals. Having no inspiration, or better yet, no one to hurry to, made you stay there for long hours, barely managing to get one task completed at a time.
The space was almost empty since it was rather late, and looking around you suddenly felt a tinge of nostalgia. Muttering that you should get ahold of your stupid self, you walked slowly towards the tall aisle with your useless book. In the labyrinth, you wandered for a bit, reminiscing of the first interaction with your… now ex? Your first boyfriend? Your first love?
The thought left a bitter taste in your mouth, and you opted for walking further as if surrounded by books you could somehow block your bubbling feelings out.
A strange sound caught your attention.
No idea why, you kept walking towards it, soon stepping around the corner and freezing on the spot.
Only a few feet away there was a couple making out. The girl was pressed harshly into the shelves and grunted, as her partner shoved one hand underneath her shirt to squeeze her breast, and his other one grasped her neck, adding to the obscenity of their misplaced passion. You were ready to flush tomato red and vanish on the spot when you noticed something… familiar.
That side profile.
You would never mistake it for anyone else’s.
Wide-eyed in shock, you almost jumped when the male turned around, dark irises foreign to you. His eyebrow raised slightly as he took in your distress with half-lidded eyes, not even bothering to stop groping the girl.
‘B- Baekhyun?’ You said in such a tiny voice that you barely even heard yourself.
The sound of your book dropping to the floor ripped you out of the stupor, and you turned around. Out of the labyrinth you ran, not even bothering to put your belongings back into your bag neatly. You simply grabbed everything from the table and kept running. The surroundings were blurry, but you could see one thing clearly – his lustful eyes, mocking your naivety.
It hurt too much. Unable to hold your tears till you make it home, you found yourself locked in the stall of the nearest bathroom. The way you cried there was almost physically painful, and you struggled to catch enough air as you did. Nor did you care enough to prevent yourself from making noises. Your whole body was shaking with your sobs, and you weren’t entirely sure you hadn’t gone crazy just then. From seeing what you saw. From reopening the still-hurting wounds and seasoning them richly with salt.
However long it took you to dehydrate yourself with the seeping sorrow, you managed to stop, hiccupping only every now and then. Finally shoving your laptop and notes into your bag, you got out of the stall. Walking up to a mirror on wobbly legs, you gasped at your puffy face and red swollen eyes. Not that you really cared, but it was quite late, so you had good chances of sneaking out and getting home unnoticed.
Unless someone would be purposefully waiting for you to show your face, of course.
You took notice of the dark figure across the hall momentarily after exiting the bathroom. Turning the other way, you increased the pace of your steps, almost breaking into running speed to put some distance between the two of you.
‘Hey,’ a voice called from behind, and you felt a hand grabbing your upper arm to stop you.
The nerve he had.
‘Don’t fucking touch me!’ You barked at him, ripping away from his grasp fiercely.
He blinked, letting go, and you almost hiccupped again at the sight of his hair – even more silvery-white now than when he left you, slightly unkempt (from the prior activities, no less). As he opened his mouth to say something, you beat him to it.
‘Don’t talk to me. Don’t even look at me. You make me sick!’ You spat, wanting to both claw at his beautifully sculpted face and to snivel pathetically again. Instead, you turned around and took off before he gathered himself enough to try initiating a conversation again.
Because… What the fuck was he thinking?
***
You fell ill. It probably wasn’t unrelated to what happened at the library, but you became so feverish that your roommate was on the verge of driving you to the hospital. Three days later your fever finally broke, however, you felt weak and drained and depressed for another week afterwards.
Staying at home, you kept rewinding back to the ‘event’. How could he? Coming back like that, and not even having the decency to not screw around right under your nose. You were repulsed by what you saw, and it was almost hateful how the heaviness in your chest only worsened. The bitterness of the situation added to it – he lied to you, just to be with someone else weeks, or, perhaps, even days, hours after. Maybe all of it was a lie, you didn’t know anymore.
This Baekhyun… You didn’t think you’d ever known him.
The subsequent week you avoided all of the crowded areas of the campus, dreading that you’d have to face him again. It would be impossible to maintain your calm in that case, so you took all of the possible precautions. But what could you have done if he was looking for you?
Upon your following encounter, you failed your attempt to vanish out of his sight the way you did before. It was essentially you walking into a trap, as you headed home rather late after finally squeezing your last important assignment out on paper. Not giving the outside world a single moment of attention, you stopped at the top of the stairs to put your phone into your bag and zip it up.
‘Aren’t you a mystery woman, Y/N,’ the voice almost made you drop your stuff.
You glanced up, taking notice of the murky figure, leaning onto a nearby tree. As he began walking in your direction, you turned on your heels and took off. It felt stupid to run from him like this, but you absolutely did not want to break down in front of him. You wanted to preserve at least some dignity.
As you flew down the stairs, you stumbled and almost dove headfirst to the ground. Thankfully, a swift limb wrapped around you before you could do that.
‘Are you dumb?’ He exclaimed into your ear.
‘Let go of me!’ You writhed in his hold, trying to free your body from the illusive familiarity of his touch.
‘You’re a danger to yourself! What the fuck,’ he swore under his breath, releasing you at once.
‘I told you to leave me alone. Do whatever you want, just stay out of my freaking life, Baekhyun!’ You yelled in his face, fuming from his shameless behavior. Why was he acting like nothing was even wrong with this?
‘Unbelievable. Your twin screws someone over, and you’re the one held accountable,’ he rolled his eyes.
Twin… what?
‘What are you talking about?’ You asked in bewilderment.
‘I believe, introductions are in order. I’m Baëkhyun, nice to meet you.’
***
That was… embarrassing. So embarrassing.
You had no idea there was, well, a live copy of Baekhyun walking around. And even though your ex-boyfriend was secretive, you couldn’t believe he left something like this out. Were you an actual joke to him?!
Baëkhyun said they weren’t particularly close. He explained to you that he hadn’t seen his twin in years, and his friends helped him obtain the little knowledge of his whereabouts that led him here. Thinking he could find Baekhyun by asking around he… got ‘involved’ with a girl or two. Or a dozen, who knows? But, apparently, your reaction the first time you’d met piqued his curiosity. When you flushed at the memory, apologizing profusely, he only said that he found it odd and strangely cute, the way you got upset with him.
‘I’m not as great of a guy as Baekhyun,’ he shrugged. ‘Not that I’m trying to be, anyways.’
You frowned.
After the way he left you, Baekhyun was not at the top of your ‘greatest people of all times’ list either. You could understand why your new acquaintance mentioned this, you had witnessed enough to gather that he was not at all well-behaved. Also, his ways of extracting information… Not very professional, to say the least. But who were you to judge? Now that you’d learned that he wasn’t your ex, you were genuinely ashamed of the hysteria of the past couple of weeks.
But Baëkhyun was different.
When he got your number and promised to text, you didn’t think much of it. You hummed and rolled your eyes – as if that was going to happen. Yet he surprised you by sending a quick message the following week. And then… you just kept talking. Which went on for a while, whilst you’d grown slightly addicted to it. Somehow, Baëkhyun became the only person who could take your mind off of his twin. So, even when you finally went on the long-awaited summer break, you stayed in touch with him. And not only via text – you’d been seeing each other on a regular basis.
Randomly at first – you’d just bump into him somewhere around the university premises, and he’d then suggest grabbing coffee. But as it progressed, you ended up inviting him over for dinner. Partially because you felt acutely lonely with your roommate gone, and partially because… you missed him. It was hard to put a finger on it – you’d initially thought that it was just misplaced longing for Baekhyun that pushed you towards his twin, and it felt so wrong. Almost like you wanted to use him to soothe the ache in your heart that had been bothering you ever since your ex-boyfriend had left.
Yet Baëkhyun seemed so magnetic. He hypnotized you with his blue eyes, which changed from the icy light color to dark, almost black, and were just as sharp as his twin’s. And his sassy smirk – the one he had plastered across his face almost always. Baëkhyun wasn’t warm like Baekhyun, yet there was still something about him that had you walking willingly into his trap. Maybe it was the mysterious glint in his eyes as he looked down at you or the way he sized you up whenever he caught a glimpse of you, like you were his prey. Being alone with him felt both dangerous and exciting, and you kept fooling yourself, basing your blind trust on nothing but his relation to your ex.
You never noticed how quickly he managed to build trust between you. And how you didn’t even know much about him, yet you did tell him a lot. Like that one time, he asked you where you thought Baekhyun was.
‘Wouldn’t I like to know,’ you chuckled, sadness in your voice. ‘He just left. I don’t think he even kept his phone.’
‘I always said he was the dumb one of the two. And to think that he’s the strategist,’ he snorted, splayed on your couch comfortably.
You looked at your hands in your lap, subconsciously calming yourself by playing with your fingers.
‘Stop,’ you shivered as his palm covered your fidgety hands. ‘Stop thinking about him.’
Eyes traveling to his face, you caught a glimpse of the frown that formed there.
And then he kissed you. Out of the blue, giving you no time to think or pull away.
And you let him. Grabbing at the soft leather of his pants, you allowed him to do as he pleased with you. Baëkhyun tasted familiar, though his kissing was anything but – rough and messy, lots of tongue and teeth, making your head spin with flaming passion. You didn’t resist when he pulled you into his lap, or when he ripped your clothes off, item by item. He was not asking and you were not thinking. It didn’t feel like something you should stop at the time. Rather, you thought you would’ve cried had he paused for longer than a second, so you kept clinging to him in response.
The demanding grip he had on your thighs only made you crave it more, lust seeping into your system as you wrapped your arms around his neck and rolled your hips into his. He emitted a deep sound, helping you grind on him.
‘Good girl,’ he gritted into your lips, landing a slap or two on your ass along the way.
As you kept going, your bare breasts grazed his skin, and your panties became soaked and sticky. You were probably flushed rosy red as you chased the tight feeling in your lower abdomen, his eyes hungrily taking in your frenzy. He slapped you again, a sharp hit resonating through you like electricity.
‘Baëk,’ you half-moaned. ‘Please fuck me-’
You couldn’t even believe that you were begging him like that, out loud. But the desperation grew as your body threw itself at him, demanding release.
He moved your panties out of the way, fingers instantly getting wet with your arousal.
‘Such a needy little slut,’ he murmured, making you shiver.
It was all new. The name-calling, the manhandling, the way he bit harshly into your lower lip and tugged at your hair. And somehow, it was exactly what you needed.
He didn’t waste much time to prep you, opting for taking his already hard length out and running the tip between your folds, making you jolt and cry out, nails digging into the back of his neck.
‘Sink on my cock and take what you want. Like a bad girl would.’ He addressed in a low voice, smearing the remainder of your lipstick over your mouth with his thumb. ‘Wanna be a whore for me?’
‘Yes,’ you muttered, and he smacked you on the ass again, emphasizing that you needed to be louder. ‘Yes!’
He let go of your hips, hands resting on your legs, allowing you to slam down on your own. You whimpered at the slight burn but kept going. Moving this fast wasn’t the way you were used to doing it, but all the more exciting for that. Using his shoulders to steady yourself, you worked your hips hard. A sheen of sweat on your chest glimmered as you increased the pace, wailing as his tip nudged at your cervix. He watched you with his dark blue eyes, hands kneading your ass, and filthy mouth guiding you.
‘Squeeze your tight little hole.’
Meanwhile, you struggled to maintain the tiresome pace, yet held onto the sensation of his girth pressing against your walls as he glided in and out of you.
‘Ah fuck, Baëkhyun!’ You moaned, feeling the tickle of perspiration making its way down your abs.
‘I know you’re close.’ He licked his lips seductively. ‘Want me to help?’
‘Yes, yes, please,’ you keened, leg almost cramping from the uncomfortable position.
‘Leave your begging for another time, baby. Like I said, if you want something, you should take it.’
You whined, head spinning at the suggestion. His eyes, expectant, traced the stubborn crease between your brows while you kept rocking your hips. Then, you did the first thing that came to your blurry mind. Your hands reached up to grasp his hair and pull hard, tilting his head back and leaving the long column of his neck exposed for the attack of your lips. Sucking a bruise on it harshly, you then used your teeth to ensure he’d have a bright mark in a few hours. Creeping up his neck and his jaw, you licked at his lower lip, and then into his mouth – like an animal would.
‘Oh,’ he smirked, hands seizing you and holding you down, with him snug inside you. ‘So, my good girl is not as innocent as she seemed?’ He teased, the lustful glint in his eyes boosting your confidence to the level of insolence.
‘Shut up,’ you replied firmly, sliding off of him and flopping backwards to finally get some circulation in your legs. ‘Stop slacking off and make me come, you asshole.’
His eyes flashed at your brazen words. Shoving you roughly until you were flat on your back, he grabbed onto your thighs, dragging you closer to him. Instantly you cried out as he landed two consecutive slaps on your pussy, holding his heavy hard-on at the base. Pleased with your reaction, he did it again, not saying another word before he bottomed out inside you. A new wave of arousal washed over you, and you clenched around him, eyes fluttering shut. He didn’t even think to spare you the morning soreness as he nailed you like an actual whore.
‘Ah right there, right there- oh fuck, Baëkhyun,’ you sobbed, clawing at his flexed arm, when he placed one of your legs over his shoulder and leaned forward, basically stretching you open for himself.
This position made you feel vulnerable, like you had no choice but to take everything he was giving you, but it was what you needed. His every thrust resonated inside, making your muscles clench, and ripping more curses and moans out of you. Even though his pace was rather brutal, there wasn’t too much pain along with it – Baëkhyun knew all the right spots.
Mouth agape, you arched your back in silent agony, and a few more hits of his thighs later came so hard that it almost made you pass out on the spot. The hand over your mouth muffled your scream, and he let your leg slide off of his shoulder, pressing his palm against it to keep you in place and prevent you from closing your knees.
Muscles contracting uncontrollably, you whimpered at his continued thrusts as you became too sensitive from the drawn-out pleasure, tears soaking your lashes by the time he finally pulled out.
Baëkhyun grunted lowly, and you opened your eyes to witness him jerk himself off at the sight of your swollen, fucked out pussy, not even blinking until thick ropes of his semen painted your lower belly.
Despite having just performed a thorough fucking, he lowered himself on his elbow slowly and brushed the rogue strands of hair away out of your eyes.
‘You’re a naughty one. I love it,’ he murmured, positioning one of his hands on your neck as he kissed you deeply. ‘Don’t worry, I’ll teach you how to be in control.’
And so, you let yourself fall down the rabbit hole. And there was no telling what you’d gotten yourself into.
>> Chapter 3
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A/N: Whooo, Baёk is here, stirring some kind of trouble, isn’t he? 🤭 Our poor Y/N-ie is walking on thin ice. What do you think of their relationship? Feels a little bit like cheating, right? Technically it isn’t. But still, the darkness is always pretty seductive...
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crazy-loca-blog · 2 years
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Hi there! I got this anon and love it so much, I'm spreading it throughout the fandom - with a few minor changes!
When did Casey know she was in love with Ethan? When did she know she wanted to be his wife?
When did Ethan know he was in love with her? And when did he know he wanted to get married?
I love this question @jerzwriter! Should I write an essay on this? You can bet I will! Especially because it's Saturday night and I can't go to bed yet. So get ready, because this is long! 😂
Casey realized she was in love when Ethan was in the Amazon. In my HC, Casey had her own internal struggles, and she was as confused as Ethan, but not for the same reasons. She had admired Ethan and his work for so long, that she saw herself frequently wondering if maybe what she was feeling was some type of weird infatuation, or if this was a professional crush that she was taking too far. And she felt this way for months! (In fact, the other day I was telling how “Catch Me” by Demi Lovato is exactly how Casey was feeling in book 1, chapter 17).
Things changed when Ethan left without saying goodbye. She was missing him way too much. She could hide it at work, but as soon as she closed her bedroom door, she was a mess. She was mad, sad, and hurt, but above all, words could not express how heartbroken she felt. It took her a heart-to-heart with her brother to realize (and accept) she had, in fact, fallen in love and that she had probably been in love for a long time.
In the case of Ethan, he realized his speech on love being a neurochemical response was not working while in the Amazon. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't stop thinking of Casey. And he was so mad at himself! He had left for a reason, and things weren't going as planned. "Not feeling" used to be easy, he couldn't understand why it wasn't working this time.
So, when he returned to Boston, he had kind of given up. He knew he was feeling things, but he couldn't explain what it was because he had never felt that way before. That's when he decided “to get to know the real Casey”, in a last attempt to find a rational explanation for everything that was happening to him.
Seeing how Casey got so involved with all the Louise drama, respecting his family's past without judging, and genuinely caring about him, sealed the deal for him. He couldn't fight it anymore. By the time of the softball game, he already knew his feelings were deeper than he expected, and that he had no control over them, that's why he kissed her after the game (I HC this is the first time they kiss in book 2, because I'm that evil 😈).
Marriage? Whenever they were asked about it, they both avoided the topic like the plague! Everything was actually Ethan's idea, and it was a complete surprise for Casey, she never saw it coming. Even if she was never opposed to the idea of getting married, it wasn’t a priority in her life, not even before Ethan. She knew Ethan was her soulmate, and the person she wanted to share her life with, and she didn't need a ring on her finger to prove it. So, it's safe to say she knew she wanted to be his wife when he proposed.
For Ethan, the idea crossed his mind for the first time after they moved in together. They had been official for 8 months, but anyone could have said they had been together for years (I mean, where is the lie here?). Everything about their relationship felt like they were meant to be. He had this strange (but comforting) feeling of “home” when she was around, and he could see himself growing old with Casey. Also, he'd be lying if he said he didn't enjoy people calling Casey “Mrs. Ramsey” whenever they had a reservation at a restaurant o a hotel. It sounded nice! But he got scared. Casey had turned his world upside down many times, but he knew it was too soon. He didn't want to make the same mistakes as his parents, either. So he decided to wait. But he was already a goner. Eight months after the first time he pictured a “forever” with Casey, he was looking for a ring.
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jessilynallendilla · 4 years
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To get through the quarantine here’s a super long list of Hobbit/LOTR/Silm fics
Let me know if links aren’t working and feel free to add more
(check the original post as I update the list)
Please read the tags before reading some have sensitive content/are unfinished
Kili/Tauriel Centric
Stolen Heir
Who is Kili's father? He doesn't know. Thorin doesn't know. Dis knows. She's not telling. What happens when he finds out that she left and didn't tell him she was carrying his son? Alternative Ending to BOFA. Family drama!
Paths in Starlight
Kili has never set foot in the magical land he was born in, but the search for a fallen star leads him beyond the Wall and into world of Arda. The star he finds is not what he'd thought she'd be, and Kili is pulled into an adventure that takes him over hill and through the air, joins a crew of Sky Pirates to help them aid their King, and finds out the truth about his family.
Take a Bow
Tauriel has been a prisoner in Erebor since returning a gravely-wounded Kili after the battle. Now finally she is permitted to stand before the Dwarven court and tell her truth; to save her life, to show why she wants to stay.
King Under the Mountain
Or the one where Kili survives the Battle of Fives armies but has to learn to live without his brother and uncle and to accept the throne.
All Those Who Wander
Kíli goes on a simple diplomatic trip to all the elf kingdoms. Of course, because Kíli’s involved, it quickly becomes anything but simple.
Dare You to Move
Each year since their victorious alliance, the respective Kings and Councilmen of Erebor, Dale, and The Woodland Realm gathered together in one of their great cities for the duration of five days. During this time they would spend the daylight hours debating and discussing the maintenance of their alliance, and then by night the people gathered together to celebrate. In the midst of the complex political negotiations, Prince Fili learns what it means to be a great King from the one person who just might be his Queen, while Kíli and Tauriel struggle to keep their illicit relationship hidden from those who would keep them apart.
Think of all the Places We Could Go
Kili woke, panting, to have his mother fuss over him and his brother sit and sharpen his swords on the chair adjacent to his bed. “Are we dead?” were the first words out of his mouth, prompting his brother to laugh and his mother to look at him strangely.
Silver Starlight, Burning Bright
Once upon a time, there was a hidden kingdom in the woods. There are not many stories of this hidden kingdom, as they were a secret and private people. There is one story, however, about a prisoner and jailer.
Erebor Restored
The Lonely Mountain is reclaimed. Thorin, Fíli, and Kíli recover from their wounds while Dáin makes himself at home.
Land of What Might Have Been
Five years after the Battle of the Five Armies, Fili sits on the throne as he struggles to help his family and his people. Kili is lost without his love, the elf maid Tauriel who was injured before the battle and disappeared. What becomes of a dwarf who has lost the love of his life?
Flowers Among the Fallen Leaves
Bilbo Baggins returned home in mourning after the Battle of the Five Armies. All of Middle-Earth knew that Thorin and his nephews had fallen in the battle. It seemed that all that was left to him was a quiet, lonely existence in his empty smial. Then fate in the form of a pregnant Silvan Elf came knocking at his door one night. Bilbo Baggins, it seemed, had never been meant for the quiet life.
A Frank Conversation (Is Easier Said)
He always loved making Tauriel laugh. For all the time Kili spent trying to understand the woman before him, he had come to cherish the moments of simplicity. There was nothing complicated about a laugh. Smiles were trickier, but laughter—that required no translation.
Waiting
Kili hasn't kissed her yet, and Tauriel doesn't know why.
Love is Never Wrong (Together We’ll Make it Right)
With a little help from a nosey wizard, things might just work out for a prince of Erebor and a Captain of the Mirkwood guard.
Beneath the Stars
After the Battle of Five Armies and the Slaying of Smaug, King Thranduil held a feast in honor—grudging honor, but honor nonetheless—for the King Under the Mountain. Tauriel had mixed feelings about this feast because it meant that Kili would be in attendance. There was a part of Tauriel that wondered if the connection they had formed was indeed some dream.
The Lesson of the Moth
The battle is over. Thorin Oakenshield, King Under the Mountain, is dead. His nephews still live, even if the life of one hangs in the balance. Tauriel too has survived, although what that means for her, she is not altogether sure. Choices are made, and promises are kept, though not without hardship. Sometimes the best course is to forge your own path, even if it takes you far from all you know.
Together Forever
Alternate ending to BOTFA. Kili and Tauriel are able to slay Bolg, but the battle leaves her badly injured. Further complication arise when King Thranduil blames the two for the death of his son and Kili is willing to lay down his own life to ensure her survival.
The Line of Durin
How do you build a new life when you're supposed to be dead? Three new royal tombs in Erebor, but two are empty. Kili, Fili, Bofur and Tauriel are on the move. Now what?
Starlight and Firemoon-Part 1
They walked in starlight, under a firemoon.
The Five Wives of Kili Durinson
The bride thought he understood. The groom thought he did too. Cultural misunderstandings abound. Now what?
So Comes Snow After Fire
In the weeks since the battle, Kili has kept his meetings with Tauriel secret. Yet when a fierce snowstorm looms, he would rather dare Thorin's displeasure than leave the exiled elf unsheltered on the mountainside. Once Tauriel enters Erebor, of course, it is only a matter of time before her feelings for the dwarven prince are discovered. And despite Kili's hope that there is a place in his life for all those he loves, he may soon have to decide whether his loyalties lie with his kindred or an elf.
Innikh Dê
In the aftermath of the Battle of the Five Armies, is there anyplace that will shelter an exhausted prince of Durin and an exiled Woodland Elf? Perhaps Lord Elrond's magical city of Imladris will offer Kili and Tauriel a haven as they prepare to have their first child. Or does the promise Kili made to his mother to return to her take precedence? In either case, Kili and Tauriel know the path won't be easy, but neither of them expected that so many Elves, Dwarves, Orcs, and Wargs, much less a wizard and a hobbit, would be on that path with them!
The Heir Apparent
Tauriel saves Kili's life during the Battle of the Five Armies and alters the course of history, forever. 
Elf-Friends
After the Battle of Five Armies, Fíli is stuck running Erebor while his brother and uncle recover. However, things are somewhat mixed up with the arrival of Tauriel, banished from Mirkwood and carrying a secret. If Thorin can forgive Bilbo, though, surely he can be convinced to accept an elf?
In the Moonlight
Tauriel and Erebor
The Poison in Your Veins
She is guardian to a besieged and rotting dynasty, duty-bound and well served by her predator's instincts. He is one of Durin's Folk, hunters of renown until calamity destroyed much of the bloodline and cast the survivors from their home. Their descendents roam the land, carrying on the fight as best they can while hiding the secret that once made their kind so formidable.
A Promise Kept
He made a promise, and she returned it. But in trying to save Kíli's life, she caused his death. Or so Tauriel thinks until she returns to Erebor to throw herself on the mercy of her unborn child's only kin and discovers that sometimes love outlasts death. But can it remain unchanged by the harsh realities of life?
Spring After Winter and Sun on the Leaves
After their wedding, Tauriel and Kíli will share their most exciting adventure yet: raising a child. But blissfully happy as they are, becoming the parents of the world’s first dwelf isn’t easy. No one is certain a half-blood child is even possible, but prejudiced dwarves don’t want to let Kíli live to find out. As even darker forces take an interest in Kíli’s unusual heir, others are put danger, including Fíli and his bride, Sif. All Kíli and Tauriel want is to start a family, but they may end up having to save Erebor, too.
Marriage of Choice
Kili had always been the spare prince. Always been the Golden Heir's shadow and companion. He knew his purpose and place. After retaking Erebor, he's surprised and just how much his life changed because of it. Tauriel believed she would be captain of The Greenwood's guard for the rest of her life, expected to die in battle for her king. But she's been banished and everything has changed. Elves don't like change.
Bilbo/Thorin Centric
Finding Purchase
“What are you doing in here?” Thorin gestured around the audience-chamber as he approached, his half-smile obvious even at a distance. “I mean, my throne is yours if you want it, ghivashelê, you know that, but in the middle of the night?”
The Seven Gifts
Thorin had his crown off. This wasn’t an uncommon sight to Bilbo. Even though Fili had crafted his uncle a new crown, the weight of it still made him wary. Bilbo was not as used to seeing the dwarf’s hair gathered together in a braid that spilled over his shoulder. Or the spectacles perched on his regal nose. He would deny the ache of his heart in that moment.
Sansûkh
The battle was over, and Thorin Oakenshield awoke, naked and shivering, in the Halls of his Ancestors. The novelty of being dead fades quickly, and watching over his companions soon fills him with grief and guilt. Oddly, a faint flicker of hope arises in the form of his youngest kinsman, a Dwarf of Durin's line with bright red hair.
Battle of the Mind and the Heart
Thorin, Kili and Fili, and the others survived TBOTFA but Bilbo does not know this thinking Thorin died in his arms ...and now as the dwarves make the trek back to the shire to show their burglar that they are okay, the other hobbits of the shire have to deal with a rapidly mentally deteriorating Bilbo and the dwarves will not like what they bear witness to when they get there
Marriage of Necessity
In a desperate attempt to make sure someone he trusts rules over Erebor, Thorin marries Bilbo on what will probably be his deathbed, as well as that of his heirs. When all three Durins survive, Thorin's marriage to Bilbo comes under scrutiny. Not everyone is happy with it.
Reclaiming Erebor…Again
Bilbo is sailing to the Undying Lands but wary of letting go of the guilt that has been with him for many decade. His most sincerest wish is to go back and change what was done. Before reaching the lands of peace and healing, he dies aboard the ship and finds that his wish is being granted but not because he is the one to wish it. He finds that not only is he going to be sent back to his younger body, but so is the entire Company of Thorin Oakenshield. Time is a fickle thing and not all the members have their memories returned to them at the same time. The journey on becomes interesting as the dwarves slowly remember and fight for themselves and their kin, yet for some reason they are not the only ones to remember.
Hiding Myself
Bella Baggins is a perfectly normal, respectable Hobbit living alone in Hobbiton. That is, until Gandalf the Gray arrives at her house looking for someone to share in an adventure. When thirteen dwarves show up at her doorstep, she stupidly agrees to go with them to reclaim their homeland. Thorin Oakenshield, the moody and brooding Dwarven king, has managed to capture the unwanted affections of the Company's burglar. But one thing nobody knows is that their burglar is hiding a secret from them all that may destroy everything or change the way dwarves think for a very long time.
To Love a King
"“I never assumed that I could – that he could -,” Bilbo tried feebly. Dain leaned in close enough for Bilbo to feel his hot breath over his face. “He could never have cared for you. Was he not clear enough when he threatened to cast you to your death?” Bilbo pinched his face up in pain and clenched his hands into fists. Dain smiled triumphantly.
Buried Coals
After the Reclaiming of Erebor, life was supposed to settle down. Things were supposed to be simpler once there weren't people trying to kill them and things trying to eat them and so on and so forth. Things didn't get any simpler, but after the whole Tauriel incident, and after Dain got the snot beat out of him, things seemed to settle a bit. Billa should have known it wouldn't last.
At Last
Thorin Oakenshield has spent twenty long years alone with his broken heart, he has spent twenty long years learning to live with what he has done and what he caused, and he has spent twenty long years thinking that Bilbo hated him. But miscommunications can cause the worst heartaches of all, he finds, as Bilbo has spent twenty long years thinking that he’s dead.
Alive
Bilbo fled Erebor before his friends could be buried, before he had to see Thorin encased in stone. He returns to the Shire and settles into a life of unsociability and some amount of loneliness, but finds comfort in the figures of the children of Hobbiton. After twenty years, however, his luck is gone, and Bilbo has to flee the Shire with Frodo, Sam, Merry, and Pippin, and with four very young Hobbits, there is only one place he can turn to.
This is a Love I Cannot Undo (Eyes Open, I Burn in Hell)
In which Kili, Fili, and Thorin survive the Battle of the Five Armies and have to deal with the fallout.
Fiercer Than Fire
The Quest of Erebor as it might have been. Billa Baggins is not your average burglar- or, perhaps, a burglar at all. That remains to be seen. Thorin resents this little female's habit of gaining a foothold wherever she lands. Even in his heart.
A Flower Among Gems
The Fell Winter destroyed Billanna (also known as Billa) Baggin's small hobbit family, as her parents were murdered and she kidnapped by orcs. However, she is saved by a familiar group of dwarves which, after deliberation (and Thorin's younger sister giving him grief) Billa joins the family of Durin. As the years pass, relationships are brought into light, and with quests thrown in, it seems a quiet life is a little hard to find for a hobbit among dwarves.
Think Before You Speak
The three fools of Durin's Line try to court their Ones. Things get crazy, hectic, emotional, and brains continuously shut off at the worst times.
Words Unanswered
The most terrible thing you can do to a writer, Bilbo is sure, is answer words with silence.
Together Once More
Thinking himself banished, Bilbo leaves Erebor before he and Thorin can reconcile. Meanwhile, the entire company thinks that Bilbo died in bofta. 20 years later, Bilbo, now the guardian of Frodo Baggins, is asked by Gandalf to travel to rivendell to discuss a growing evil that is encompassing Middle Earth. However, the two hobbits mysteriously vanish, and never make it to rivendell as they were supposed to. And somehow, to make matters even more confusing, Gandalf comes to the realization that Bilbo Baggin's has the One Ring.
Hurricanes in Hertford, Hereford, and Hampshire
Bilbo was banished. That's it, the end. She wants nothing more to do with dwarves. Now all she needs to do is get back home, but there may be some complications along the way.
Eastern Homecomings
After an unprecedented Goblin attack on the Shire, Bilbo finds himself whisked back to Erebor with his son he never wanted Thorin to know about.
A Most Sensible Idea
Bilbo Baggins isn't sure about this. Not one bit. Frodo is definitely too young to enter into an arranged marriage with a dwarven king called Thorin Oakenshield. It's a good thing that Bilbo is there to chaperone him through their courtship. After all, there's no chance that a fussy hobbit bachelor would ever catch the eye of a king.
You Got Me
The Company shows their affection for Bilbo in accordance with dwarvish tradition. Bilbo... has no idea why everyone keeps giving him gifts.
The Most Precious of Treasures
Bilbo is thought to have died during the Battle of the Five Armies, but in reality she has returned home to Shire, believing that she is forever banished from her friends sides and that they are far better off believing that she is indeed dead. However, her plans to remain dead to them are complicated by the most precious treasure a certain Dwarf King left her with and by a few friends who simply refuse to believe that she had truly gone from Middle-Earth. Bilbo believed that her journey was done, she had gone there and had come back, her story was finished, she had no idea that she had just walk headlong into another.
A Second Chance
The Valar send Bilbo back in time, to the day where Gandalf asks him to join in an adventure. After living a lifetime of regret and suffering, he vows to change things for the better. For Thorin. For Frodo. But will he succeed?
Retelling the Hobbit
This is a comic adaptation/retelling of the Hobbit! It's framed as a bedtime story that Bilbo is telling a younger Frodo.
A Passion for Mushrooms
There are many trials for a hobbit attempting to make a life among dwarves. A hobbit wants a garden. A hobbit wants to eat regular meals. A hobbit wants friends, good books, and comfortable chairs. Bilbo does his best to carve out a little hobbit life for himself in the mountain. If only there were not one final obstacle. For a hobbit heart wants love, and among dwarves that is a sticky subject.
Something Blue
Thorin marries Bilbo after the Battle of Five Armies, a marriage of convenience, not love. Slowly, they must come to make the best of it, Bilbo resolves. After all, he's a Hobbit. They make the best of things.
Azhâr
Following the aftermath of the Battle of the Five Armies where Thorin must fight with his own guilt and mind over his choices and what they mean and meant, where he must decide whether or not to rule, and how to live with himself after dying. Focusing on many different characters and relationships, as well as building on the lore of Erebor and Middle Earth. A story about coming home.
An Expected Journey
For years Bilbo has written about his adventures and told stories about his dealings with dwarves and dragons. To most it seemed like fanciful nonsense but to Bilbo it was all very real. A weight followed him home from his travels, one called regret. Now in his final moments Bilbo has a choice to make – go quietly into death’s embrace or go back again and face all the fear and pain for the chance to make things right?
Lay Down Your Sweet and Weary Head
Thorin dies. Thorin wakes up. He is understandably confused by this, especially since he appears to be in the Erebor he knew as a young dwarf, about to be attacked by a dragon.
Call You Home
In which the Company are entirely too nosy about matters that are supposed to be a secret, and Bilbo learns that being concerned about propriety is overrated when you could be making friends instead.
Courting Habits of the Line of Durin
Hobbits didn’t have such things as courting rituals – they were uncomplicated folk. They announced their affections with flowers or a cooked meal, a shared pipe or simply a kiss – and then there were meetings with both families and a date set for the wedding. Dwarves, as he kept discovering, were a completely different kettle of fish.
The Road Delivered Us Home
In the years since Bilbo left Erebor, he has lost his respectability, gained a nephew, and gotten on with life at Bag End. He'd left aside adventure for the comforts and peace of his little Hobbit hole, and for the love of a child who needed him. Though perhaps, adventures can yet find him.
Intertwine
“To let someone else braid you is an intimacy. Brothers often do it for one another, or parents in our youth, or lovers when we are of age. I have none of these.” Thorin pulled a silver bead from the pouch and rolled it between his fingers, and his gaze on Bilbo held weight
Fix That Which Was Broken
When Mahal himself offers to send Thorin back to the start of the quest to save the line of Durin, he is determined to make amends for all of the mistakes he made the first time around. When Bilbo wakes up in Bag End eighty years in the past, all he knows is that he has somehow been given the chance to see his beloved dwarves again and he'll be damned if he doesn't take it.
Tears of the Sun
Based on a prompt where Frodo is Thorin and Bilbo's son and no one knows.
Reading in Autumn Sunlight
Summer was over. The lingering warmth from those long, languorous days were steadily replaced with opaline skies and bracing winds which brought with them the threat of the first frosts of winter to Erebor.
Portrait
Three years to the day following the beginning of the Quest for Erebor, Bilbo was asked to pose for an official portrait.
The World Spins Madly On
The end of the journey to retake Erebor is harrowing. As Bilbo Baggins surveys the wreckage of what was once a group of the best friends he ever had, he wonders if it was all worth it. And then he wakes up. And wakes up. And wakes up.
How Shall This Day End?
Thorin Oakenshield dies. And then returns to himself in Erebor, staring down at a gold-covered floor. He doesn't quite understand what is happening at first, but soon realizes he has been granted an incredible chance (and a terrible burden): to relive the battle again until he finally gets things right.
Though the Stars Walk Backward
Bilbo wakes, always in Erebor, with dark shadows to one side and the first light of a terrible dawn to the other.
Many Paths
Bilbo wakes up in Dale. With the memory of a battle won but lives lost, he finds an army of Men and Elves readying to attack Erebor. Bilbo tries to save his dwarves. Again and again.
Nothing Gold Can Stay
Bilbo Baggins led a rather peaceful life, thank you very much, until an old acquaintance decided to turn it upside down, and he found himself agreeing to take a job that’s… let’s say not exactly up his alley, and might eventually cost him a little more than his treasured cozy lifestyle. Who would have thought tutoring a slightly menacing monarch’s more than slightly overbearing nephew could prove to be such an adventure?
Courtship Works Best When Both Parties Are Aware of It
The halls of Erebor flourished under the reign of Thorin Oakenshield. His coronation was a welcoming ceremony to celebrate the final wave of refugees returning to the Lonely Mountain. Bilbo, the hobbit under the mountain, is concerned with the amount of time the weary King under the Mountain is spending with a simple hobbit. Thorin is worried Bilbo is spurning his courtship. Suddenly all the dwarves are concerned for Bilbo's happiness in Erebor. These two idiots need to learn to communicate.
Run! Glorfindel Saw Us!
Bilbo Baggins was raised by elves in Rivendell. Thorin is not impressed. At all
The Rampart
When Thorin realized what Bilbo had done, realized that the hobbit had traded his Arkenstone, he saw fire. And Bilbo, being so incredibly small, was easy enough to throw from the Rampart. The company leaves Erebor, seemingly forever. 10 years after Thorin 'killed' Bilbo, he breaks from his dragon sickness, sick at what he's done. He runs to the Shire, hell-bent on paying his respects to his burglar, ashamed at killing him over a stone. But what will Thorin find in Hobbiton?
An Unexpected Addition
All of the dwarves survive the Battle of the Five Armies, but Bilbo must return to the Shire to sort out his old life and make way for a new one in Erebor. Over one year later, Bilbo comes back to the Lonely Mountain with a recently orphaned Frodo. King Thorin isn't quite sure what to make of this new, tiny addition to his Company.
Heartbeat of the Mountain
Bilbo adjusts to caring for a nephew and realizes that the Shire holds no future for him anymore. It is time to return to the mountain. With Frodo in tow, he sets off to find out if Thorin regrets his decisions and to discover if the mountain can handle not one, not two, but three troublemakers.
The Took’s Arrangement
Shortly after Bilbo Baggins comes of age, he is swept up into a life he never expected. Upon the promise made between his grandfather and the dwarrow of Ered Luin, he sets off to marry the crown prince of Erebor, Thorin. Arranged marriages are not ideal, but he is a Baggins, and Bagginses keep promises, while his adventurous Took blood sends him running down the road to Erebor.
Beware the Nice Ones
Five years after becoming Consort Under the Mountain, Bilbo is struggling to prove his worth to Thorin's most xenophobic subjects and foreign kinsmen. However, when visiting nobles mistake Bilbo and Frodo for common servants, Thorin is not pleased and Bilbo has had enough. Political intrigue, cultural misunderstandings, and a trial of honor ensue...
The Greatest Treasure in Erebor
It takes roughly two months of being taken on a different walking tour of The Splendors of Erebor every single day for Bilbo to work out that Thorin and Company are trying to convince him not to leave.
Our Lives to Make
Bilbo must venture the long road back to the Shire to see his newborn nephew, leaving Thorin to rule over Erebor. But when word reaches him mid-travel that Frodo has been orphaned, he knows he cannot go back to the Lonely Mountain alone. What will Thorin say when Bilbo returns with his nephew in tow, when he’s lost his own kin so recently?
An Unexpected Son
Bilbo left Erebor with a treasure more precious then gold or rings. What happens when the dwarves discover Frodo? Will Thorin bend enough to admit he was wrong to force Bilbo to leave?
lay down your sweet and weary head
Thorin dies. Thorin wakes up. He is understandably confused by this, especially since he appears to be in the Erebor he knew as a young dwarf, about to be attacked by a dragon. A time-travel fic with Thorin as the one living his life twice
The Shire's Sacrifice
When the Shire cannot honour its Treaty with Erebor, the dwarves enforce a contractual clause: one Hobbit must be sent to Erebor to marry the King as a sign of good faith. But with neither party at all willing and plans afoot to undermine the King, maybe an unwilling Bilbo Baggins is exactly what Erebor needs…
Gimli/Legolas Centric
Comes Around Again
Gimli closes his eyes, an old Dwarf on the brink of death in the home he had built with his husband in the Undying Lands, and opens them again as a young Dwarf in his childhood home in Ered Luin. He's returned to the tumultuous week before The Company set out to recruit their Burglar from his cosy hobbit hole. Gimli, once again a impetuous teen in the eyes of his family, must get into that Company--the lives of his loved ones, and the very fate of Middle Earth--depends on it.
Heart of the Mountain
For three hundred years they've been under attack. It's become background noise now but Gimli can't help but wonder why. Why in Mahal's name are the elves still attacking them after all this time? Surely they have something better to do?
Hearts Will As Hearts Must
The Dwarves are returning to Erebor reclaimed, and the elves uphold their promise to safeguard the caravans as they pass through Mirkwood. One particular Dwarf has wit and spark enough to match Legolas Greenleaf - perhaps even outmatch him. It's hate at first sight.
Cultural Differences: If Thou Kiss Not Me
Legolas and Gimli fall for each other, hard. But culture shock causes some problems when Gimli realizes that Dwarves and Elves don’t share certain customs.
Forged in Frame
A very contrived take on the Professor!Gimli and Influencer!Legolas AU, in which they’re still somewhat reluctantly trying to save the planet because Aragorn asked them to.
Secrets of the Lonely Mountain
Legolas is sent to Erebor after the War of the Ring, where he's given the chance to meet up with Gimli again.
we raise our cups
Legolas determined he would have to cut through the Woods of Oromë. If all went well, it should be a straight shot to what Celebrimbor had labelled as the Mansions of Aulë. Perhaps, were he a wiser elf, he would first seek the guidance of Mandos – because after all, he was still alive, and Gimli was still dead. But Legolas was, at the end of all things, not a very wise elf. He was simply an elf with a fiddle and a bow, who was deeply in love. And he had to hope that would be enough.
Terroir
"Terroir - the characteristic taste and flavor imparted to a wine by the environment in which it is produced." It's almost the tourist season in the wine country, and Greenwood Cellars is gearing up for its busiest time of year. The new Blue Mountain Public House threatens to disrupt decades of tradition - this is wine country, after all. Aragorn is running for County Sheriff on a platform of community policing - but he's running against his boss. Eowyn feels trapped in the family business, and thinks the handsome young motorcycle cop is her ticket out. And Gandalf is selling his fireworks, like he always has, even though there's no way they should be legal. The story of a town, and the people who want to make it better, and what happens in one tourist season.
Building
A city, a marriage, a world. Legolas and Gimli return to Minas Tirith with their people to help Aragorn rebuild his city, and learn how to be together in a new world of peace.
The Wild Hunt
Vampire Legolas vs. Slayer Gimli
What Song Can Fell the Mountain
Valinor has been their home for a century and a half when, scant days after his four-hundred-and-twelfth birthday, Gimli says, "I will soon die. What are we going to do about it?"
Lest We Burden Our Weary Hearts
If one must call them ‘missed chances’, then do so warmly, for even in the distance of space and years there is no shortage of affection here. Each other’s dearest companion, indeed.
Homespun
Modern Lasgalen bears some little resemblances to canon Mirkwood. Gimli encounters one of them in the bathtub one morning.
Going Viral
When a dangerous new virus spreads rapidly through Middle-earth, Gondor goes quickly into lockdown. Legolas and Gimli weather the pandemic together as best they can.
Rebuild Your Seawall (Brick by Brick)
For weeks and months, Legolas has felt a pull - and dares not name it, does not heed its stormy-sky warnings, does not track the ebb and flow on the shoreline of his life. Here’s the thing about the tide, though: it rises whether one wills it or not.
M&M and E&E2
A Gold Star in his Crown
The Silmarils have been stolen. So has Elrond, on the very same night, and the only trace left of those who took them is a note in Maglor's handwriting. Years later, after Elros has gone after his brother and never returned, Gil-Galad goes to reclaim his young kinsmen from their second captivity in Faerie.
The Ransom of the House of Fëanor
Maglor goes to war for a final time, the eternal darkness looms, and Elrond bargains with the Valar for the ransom of the House of Fëanor. In which fathers give up everything for their sons, and their sons offer everything in return; title, name, and fëa. Or, the one where Maglor believes he is destined for eternal darkness, and Elrond politely says otherwise.
To Safety
Elrond and Elros, after yet another horrible day of being hostages for their mother's Silmaril, awaken in an unfamiliar forest where the sunlight doesn't seem quite right, and somehow run right back into the arms of their captors. Maitimo and Makalaurë have no idea who these children are, but it seems like they're supposed to raise them. It's more difficult than it sounds, because somehow they don't speak Quenya. In other words, the twins time travel to Valinor in the Years of the Trees and proceed to be parented against their will.
Low Water
Elrond is gifted with foresight. Elrond has seen how this chapter ends.
New Strings
Maglor is rescued, now to fit him into life in Imladris.
And Love Repaid
It was never about owing.
Protector
It began with the Second Age. Or actually, it did not begin at all. It simply did not end. Against all odds, Maedhros and Maglor survive. For Elrond, that is a beginning of sorts.
Lessons Learned
It all begins with Maglor wanting to give the young Peredhels he and his brother captured a some sense of normalcy in their lives. He gave them over to Erestor so that they might learn simple things, how to read and write. He hardly expected to find his own relationship with the twins to develop, and Maedhros expected it even less...
Unwell
It's not that they're not happy that Maglor's been brought back to the Undying Lands. It's just that they're a little concerned about the fact that he's been taken into the house of someone he once kidnapped, and that no one's seen Maglor since.
Russandol
The attack on Sirion
After Sirion
After the Third Kinslaying, two pairs of brothers struggle to repair their broken families.
Songbird
Caught up in his grief over his twin brother’s death, Elrond hears rumours of his foster-father’s whereabouts. With only Erestor as his companion, the half-elf leaves Lindon to find Maglor. But at the end of their journey they must all face the question of what to do when the elf who was never meant to return to elven settlement is actually found.
Barriers
On the way back to Amon Ereb, Maedhros and Maglor carried not a jewel, but two small boys instead.
Always There
A young Elladan and Elrohir return from playing by the sea with a strange tale that sends their father on a mad chase.
Sons of Eärendil
Elros, King of Numenor, reminisces to his absent brother. Talking through memories of the terrors of their childhood and the things that drove them apart as adults.
As Little Might Be Thought
From the Sacking of Sirion to Amon Ereb; from princes to captives to sons. The story of the unlikely bond between Elrond and Elros and Maglor and Maedhros.
Pieces of Stars
When the Oath brings disaster to Sirion, Maglor attempts to fix what he can, but a temporary arrangement becomes much more permanent than anyone had foreseen. Elrond and Elros grow up, grow together, and grow apart at the end of a world slowly decaying into myth and legend.
The Lines on My Face, the Lines on My Hands
Nearly eighty years after Celebrían left Middle Earth to seek healing, the people of Imladris have yet to quite move on. But when a simple task of 'make sure the road is clear' ends in the Elladan and Elrohir bringing home a seriously injured and sorely missed elf, the entire household is forced to re-examine just what they are to each other, and to themselves.
The Starlit Sky
Elrond's account of his boyhood with the Fëanorians
Jailbird
There is singing from the southeast tower of the citadel. There is always singing from the southeast tower of the citadel. For over three thousand years someone has lived in that tower and sung, and today Faramir wants to know why.
I Beg a Deep and Dreamless Sleep
An alternate version of my fic "Give the Children Closure" Maedhros is unsurprised by Elrond coming to let him out of the Halls, though he knows he won't actually be leaving. This is a kinder hallucination than most. Again I will stress that everything is going to be okay, he just has to be sad first.
Lords of Amon Ereb
Maedhros and Maglor have stolen the Silmarils and disappeared. Beleriand is sinking. Finarfin, Gil-Galad, and all the people moving east pay a visit to Amon Ereb, assuming that the Sons of Fëanor returned there. Instead, they find Elrond and Elros.
With Eyes of Nightingales
Finarfin wants to know what happened to Elrond and Elros. Against their better judgement, Círdan and Gil-Galad go with him. What they find is a terrifying forest, a fortress that defies geometry, and a pair of twins with bright eyes.
Nightmare Sequence
A series of dreams and nightmares that everyone sincerely hopes are not prophetic, mostly taking place in the early days of Elrond and Elros's time as hostages. (aka things that were too messed up or too out of character that I really wanted to write)
plus ça change
Elrond has had many homes and many families, in the Ages of Middle-Earth. He has lost them all. Or, a character study, from toddler in Sirion to Lord of Rivendell.
Softly Sing the Children
Elrond and Elros are unsettling children. All the children in their family are.
Childhood Memories
Sometimes the waves of war wash strange things to the shore. Perhaps Maglor senses what it means for him when he finds Elwing's twin sons Elrond and Elros abandoned in the forest. He does not take them with him to Ossiriand as his prisoners of war, but rather takes on the role of a foster father for them. Little by little, the little Half-elves learn that he means them no harm, and gradually they begin to love him as their father.
And Family Means No One Gets Left Behind
Earendil returns home to find it burned to the ground and his sons missing, presumed captured by the Feanorians. He does the logical thing. He goes after them. He's not entirely expecting what he finds when he gets there.
MISC
Tears Like Rain
The first in the epic Mellon Chronicles. Mirkwood has suffered tragic losses in the Last Great Alliance, including her King. With the very survival of the kingdom at stake, Thranduil finds himself at deadly odds with his older brother Doriflen. When young Legolas becomes a pawn in his abusive uncle’s ruthless power games, the lies, deception and betrayal risk destroying more than just the young prince’s life.
Golden Light
They have loved each other for so long that when Finwë grieves, Ingwë grieves with him, but he also tries his best to comfort him.
No Other Choice
“Your word means nothing,” she spits at him, baring her teeth, nearly shaking with anger as sudden as a cataclysm. The sea roars behind her, cold droplets spraying up and flecking her bare legs. “I do not barter with murderers.” The Fëanorians descend upon the Havens of Sirion to retrieve the Silmaril. Elwing makes an impossible choice.
All Our Old Follies, Come 'Round Again
Celebrimbor sees Elrond again after a long separation. It isn't a good thing, at first. But then Celebrían meets Elrond for the first time under... unexpected circumstances.
The Siege of Khazad-dum
Rescued from Sauron by Celebrían, Celebrimbor and Elrond fled with her to the great dwarf-kingdom and stronghold where Durin is king. Celebrimbor, badly injured in body and spirit, is impatient. Galadriel and Durin oppose the might of Sauron to the utmost. And in Lindon, Gil-galad is unwilling to wait. This is a direct sequel to All Our Old Follies, Come 'Round Again
Songs of the Heart
It's not that Earendil isn't glad that the kinslayers are in custody. It's just that he's not entirely happy that the place they're currently in custody at is his ship.
Letters to a Daughter
After arriving in Valinor, Elrond writes down his thoughts and experiences in letters addressed to his now mortal daughter.
Songs of Shadows, Songs of Blood
There are shadows in the forests of Beleriand. Some of them have teeth.
More than the Stars Above
Elrond had lived without his parents for this long. He could certainly continue to do so if they proved to be indifferent. That didn't stop his hand from shaking when he reached out to knock on the door.
Watcher in the Woods
"The creature has been with us for many weeks, and Balan caved to its wish to learn. He has been teaching it our language, our politics, our culture. Our very way of life. Wherever we go, it is there. Watching. Always watching." Something does not bode well with this golden stranger in our camp, and yet, there is nothing to be done about it. I can only watch, and pray that what I fear does not come to pass. And it will.
Suitable Foster
"“Children?” Felagund sounded uncharacteristically distressed." Bëor strongly discourages his friend from adopting.
Beor and the Faerie King
The humans have their own story of how they met the Faërie King, what they gained and one they lost. The story of Finrod and Balan later named Bëor, as told by an old woman in a mountain cabin.
Little Boy Lost and Crying
I feel like the house of finwe just found a confused, crying, and lost little boy in the woods one day and decided to keep him and call him gil-galad and thats why his parentage is so confusing because everyone claimed he was theirs
Scion of Kings
Gil-galad struggles to write a letter to the man he thinks (hopes) might be his father. Or, in which we are all Gil-galad, failing to start an email.
Foundlings
The untold story of what happened to Dior's sons during and after the sack of Menegroth.
Twin Troubles
When Celegorm ends up in the Halls, he finds himself reluctantly playing guardian to a pair of lost twins.
Forget Me Not
It’s a marriage of convenience, a way to forever strengthen the bond between the Dwarves of Erebor and the people of Dale. Or so Sigrid tells herself.
Too Much Truth
Legolas accompanies Tilda to Erebor to visit her sister. It is his father’s wish that he does so. Legolas does not understand the new world he finds there.
Work for Idle Hands
King Bard carries so many worries, especially now his council want his eldest daughter Sigrid betrothed in a way to best benefit Dale. Sigrid carries her own worries and is determined to cut back her Da’s. There’s a trade agreement between Erebor and Dale; Sigrid and Fili begin using it.
My Lady Dis
On her way to Erebor following the deaths of her family, Princess Dís receives some unexpected news from King Thranduil, and an offer to make Mirkwood her home. King Thranduil can't abide Dwarves, but the more time he spends with Erebor's last princess, the more he begins questioning his long held convictions.
We Were Legends: Book I - Champion's Dawn
In the First Age of the world, House of Elmo supports the King and Queen of Doriath in ruling their Kingdom. Princes of Doriath hold on to it as well - they found themselves in different roles to support their Kingdom, but beside their duty, they still hold deep loyalty and love towards each other despite grudges from the past and poorly made decisions. Will their loyalty linger through all the Ages to come?
The Burned Prince
After the sacking of Doriath, the lands once girdled by Melian were abandoned. Faerbraichon, Lord of House Brethil, went east in search of a new land for his Sindar Elves, a land far removed from the grief caused by the Silmaril Thingol had coveted. With him came his family - those who were left - and those for whom he was Lord.
Extraordinary
The first time he saw her, when he climbed out of her toilet and into her father’s home, he barely even registered her presence – he was too preoccupied with his mission and his brother’s injury, so he wrote her off simply as a perfectly ordinary human girl. But then he started observing her – and Mahal, she was the most extraordinary creature he had ever laid eyes upon.
A Favorable Arrangement
Fili and Sigrid agree to an arranged marriage, and quickly learn that mountains and lakes ally more quickly than people.
Episodes from Middle Earth
Collection of one-shots
Fear and Family (Or, the One Where Kíli Is the Sensible One)
After the Battle of Five Armies, Bilbo isn't sure of his welcome in the mountain, and thus returns to the Shire as soon as he can. Somewhat to his surprise, Ori goes with him -- but it turns out Ori has his own reasons for leaving Erebor behind. Well, Bilbo's quite used to being the talk of the Shire.
Solace
The tale of Thranduil and his wife from the beginning of their journey to the downfall of their tragedy.
Seduction to Destruction
Before the awakening of the elves there was the rise of the Valaraukar. As the Valar attempt to keep and contain their Maiar from succumbing to Melkor’s might, they fail to realize that it only takes one to destroy their efforts from within. The fall of Almaren will be detailed with Mairon and his relationships with others as the central plot points. Eventual Angbang because that was why I started writing this thing in the first place.
Bury My Sins Down By the Sea
Wandering along the seashore singing an unceasing lament for what his people had become and what they had done was supposed to be the last line for Maglor, son of Fëanor. When he accidentally trespasses on Avarin territory, they take him briefly hostage in order to ensure that he will lead no war parties to them. Among their people, thrust headfirst into a culture completely alien to him, Maglor learns quickly exactly how different they are. Despite all their differences, he still finds kinship with Denethor of the Laiquendi, and the comfort of a connection helps him open his heart again at long last.
Adopted of the Khîtikweni
Maglor has been avoiding others since he flung the Silmaril into the sea. Some, he finds, are more stubborn than he is.
Mortal Cold
Elladan, Elrohir, Legolas, and Aragorn are in the mountains during a terrible cold autumn storm and the sons of Elrond reluctantly stay with some of the Avari after Legolas' insistence and the severity of the storm.
Secret Hope
Nerdanel is, she suspects, among the last to receive word - the ships are coming home. The Elves are returning at last. She knows she will likely be disappointed. But she can't help but hope.
Vegetarian
Whenever anyone asks Erestor how he ended up in Rivendell, he defers to Glorfindel.
My Father’s Eyes
They are terrible and cruel; warm and loving. I see my father trough his ever-changing eyes, and they tell me his truths if I read them wisely. But sometimes I fear i will never get to know everything there is to know about them. They are like the grey sky before it rains, like the universe itself or the forest when it rains. They speak to me if I listen closely. And I do listen.
The Prisoner of Dol Guldur
Thranduil makes a terrible discovery after the fall of Dol Guldur
The Web of Darkness
An experiment of the Witch-King backfires, big time, and the Elves of Mirkwood find an unexpected ally.
Hungry Eye, Ancient Soul
"In this Fifth Age of Middle Earth, there are many stories about the romantic past of the earlier ages. Ancient stories of love and adventure, and those who inhabited these lands alongside us mortals. The terrifying reality of these stories is often ignored, and I will bring them to light, remaining anonymous lest these beings find me for revealing the truth." It is the Fifth Age of Middle Earth, and the Elves have fallen into legend; legend twisted into tales of deceit, Fae magic, disappearances, and betrayal.
The Unseen Fate
Namo once said, "There long shall ye abide and yearn for your bodies, and find little pity..." so basically, he said that the House of Feanor will abide in the Halls of Mandos and remain dispossessed for ever. However, it would seem that Eru has another fate in mind. A story where the House of Miriel has found their place in the world. They meet new friends along the way and grievances are forgiven. Finally, a happy ending for the House of Miriel.
Consequences
"She is her father's daughter. He was never really a father at all." Elwing and Eärendil remember their children.
The Wanderer (Maglor's story)
The silmarillion as told from Maglor's perspective. Some implied Russingon and a whole bunch of vala/elf relationships.
A Meeting In Valinor
After the War of the Ring, Sauron returns as a prisoner to Valinor and, much to the incredulity of his self-appointed guard Eönwë, encounters a hobbit.
Casting Out The Serpent
Balan-who-will-be-Bëor comes to some conclusions about his new friend after said new friend demonstrates a terrifying knowledge of venomous snakes. In conclusion, Finarfin was a reptile hoarder and also elves might be poisonous.
The Fourth Hall
Where do the orcs go when they die?
green are the leaves (i leave in mirkwood)
"A choice sits upon his head, pressing down past his elven bones and into his very fae. He must choose either to turn back to the stifling safety of the King's Halls, or venture on into a world that will not offer favours nor protection to an Elf as young and inexperienced as he." OR: Legolas learns what it means to chase freedom, choose, sacrifice and find family even in the darkest of hours.
A Feast of Ashes
Now High King of the Noldor in Middle Earth, Fingolfin decides to host a feast to reunite the free people of Beleriand, the Noldor, and his own family. What he did not expect is to be reunited with dead relatives, spies from Angband, dark secrets from Cuivienen, and a fair share of angst
An Unexpected Exchange
Bilbo always knew there was something off about his nephew. He didn't fit in amongst the hobbits. And when a stranger shows up on his doorstep claiming that the boy is not his nephew at all, things get a bit... complicated.
Should A Star Fall, The Sky Won't Go Black
The stars are sacred to all of the eldar, but for some, they may have a little bit more meaning. Or: Elurín has a nightmare that leaves him lost and confused, and Maedhros helps guide him back onto his path with the help of the night sky.
Two Stars in Time
While undergoing a hunting test, Elurín and Eluréd have a strange setback and wake up under the Two Trees. Lost in a land of old, there is only one person whom they can think of to search for: Adar Maedhros.
In Elin Gelebrin
After the Second Kinslaying, Maedhros searches for two young children and succeeds in finding them. Here are some small moments of their time together.
An Untold Tale
Injured, afraid, and freezing in the forests of Doriath, Elurín manages to tap into an inheritance from Melian he never realised was there. In his desperation, he uses it, and he and his brother vanish from history. Three thousand years later, a patrol of Imladris finds two strange boys in the woods.
What if Elrond Had Pushed Isildur into the Fires of Mt. Doom? Theory
The One Ring and it’s survival by the hands of Isildur gave rise to Sauron and the War of the Ring in the Lord of the Rings, but what if Elrond had pushed Isildur into the fires of Mount Doom, bringing an end to the One Ring altogether?
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sagamemes · 4 years
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the sheridan tapes  📼  part two.   here and under the cut, you can find over 130 lines of dialogue from the horror podcast the sheridan tapes, specifically from episodes four to six, edited for roleplay purposes. some of these focus heavily on survival, war, science, and spooky stuff, but a lot can be used by anyone.  tw:  war, unreality, a mention of cannibalism, implications of manic behaviour.
❝  god, i hate snowstorms like this. not just getting caught in them, but the storms themselves. it feels like the earth’s trying to bury me alive every time it locks in like this. like nature’s rightly pissed off at all of us and doing its level best to crush us to death.  ❞
❝  that’s what yom kippur means:  the day of atonement.  ❞
❝  that wasn’t the first time i’ve caught him in my office, going through my stuff.  ❞
❝  normally i’d be annoyed at someone calling me young lady.  ❞
❝  thank you… you are so warm… thank you for letting me in.  ❞
❝  suddenly, everything fell into place. i made more progress than i had in about half a year.  ❞
❝  the thing i remember most was catching disapproving glances from my father every time i went to the library.  ❞
❝  why does time only run forward?  why does cause need to precede effect?  ❞
❝  no one knows if they can trust me with casework or not.  ❞
❝  i didn’t say i was interested.  ❞
❝  [he/i] was taken off duty and sent for psychiatric evaluation the next day.  ❞
❝  coffee. i was making coffee.  ❞
❝  i didn't mean to get stuck out here.  ❞
❝  that just goes to show how small humans really are in the grand scheme of things:  take away our tools and our toys and our technology, and we’re still just as vulnerable as we ever were.  ❞
❝  she was good at that:  making you feel like you were safe, like you could open up to her.  ❞
❝  i’m just going to cover that one up. no harm in keeping it out of sight for the moment.  ❞
❝  maybe there was someone in the stairs.  ❞
❝  i think i did the lion’s share of the talking, which almost never happens.  ❞
❝  i couldn’t get to sleep... i figured i’d get a head start today.  ❞
❝  i’m afraid i don’t have all of the details of your involvement with the… tragic events in [place]. and i don’t think i’m the only one.  ❞
❝  i’m still not sure i understand the whole tradition.  ❞
❝  whatever it is, it’s chasing me. i can hear it’s footsteps in the snow, i can hear it—  ❞
❝  when you work nights here, the less you really think about them, the better.  ❞
❝  honestly, i just can’t get it out of my head.  ❞
❝  snow is one of nature’s simplest and most effective ways of killing you dead if you aren’t prepared for it.  ❞
❝  i wish you’d tell me what you’re doing here. i could lose my job if anything gets broken or if you end up getting hurt in there…  ❞
❝  would you say you… considered her a friend?  ❞
❝  would you mind saying your name again?  for the recording?  ❞
❝  if that was true, then there was something—and as a scientist, i hate to say this—supernatural going on in that lab.  ❞
❝  most of them didn’t make it. a lot of them died afraid and alone, too.  ❞
❝  i know you don’t like listening to these things, so i just wanted to help you out with…  ❞
❝  if i could sleep, then trust me, i would.  ❞
❝  i’m guessing the new owners are trying to make this place seem less creepy than it already is.  ❞
❝  my schooling was expensive and unremarkable.  ❞
❝  a lot of them died afraid and alone, too:  ideal conditions for the making of poltergeists, in my experience.  ❞
❝  look, i’m sorry, but this really isn’t a good time for anything, so if you wouldn’t mind…  ❞
❝  basically, i was picturing a slightly creepier morticia addams. i couldn’t have been more wrong.  ❞
❝  now i have to deal with [name]’s aspirations to write drama..  ❞
❝  i promise i won’t get you sacked.  ❞
❝  i’ve never been very religious, but for some reason… it made me think of hell.  ❞
❝  i think it may have been a thank you.  ❞
❝  i’m working the graveyard shift and i noticed the lights were on.  ❞
❝  i shouldn’t be here. no one asked me to come in this early.  ❞
❝  everyone around here looks at me like i’m some kind of leper.  ❞
❝  i had to go home for a few hours. i’m already on thin ice around here, and i didn’t want to get in more trouble for screaming obscenities up and down the wall.  ❞
❝  it was… darkness. no, that doesn’t do it credit, the whole place was dark. this was just... void.  ❞
❝  if i’d seen her anywhere else, i’d think she was an athlete or a backpacker.  ❞
❝  better scientists than me have been bashing their heads into that particular wall since 1927.  ❞
❝  i just want you to know that… whatever you really are... you’re safe here.  ❞
❝  goats being goats, it would just come back the next day looking for food.  ❞
❝  i would like you to leave my office now… and i’ll ask you not to tamper with evidence in the future, understood?  ❞
❝  no, of course, i don’t have signal out here, so i can’t just call triple-a.  ❞
❝  what are you doing in my office—at four goddamn thirty in the morning?  ❞
❝  you ever wonder where the line is?  you know, between human and not?  ❞
❝  the funny thing i’ve noticed about war:  no matter how terrible the fighting is, there always seems to be too much waiting. too much quiet. too much sitting around, bored to tears between fits of chaos and violence, lost in routine while waiting for the other shoe to drop.  ❞
❝  a lot of people condemn them for that. we’re so sure we’d never resort to that—that we’d rather die than cross that unspoken boundary.  ❞
❝  i’ve been at the [workplace/institution] for ten years now. that’s long enough to know that the ones who ask questions are the ones who can’t cut it.  ❞
❝  the program blew every fuse in the lab. including the lights.  ❞
❝  it was soon after they left that i began to have trouble sleeping.  ❞
❝  perhaps we never knew each other as well as most friends do, but… we cared for one another.  ❞
❝  most of her questions are a bit above my pay grade.  ❞
❝  i’m trying, i’m trying! i can’t get the door open!  ❞
❝  i don’t know why she needed my help:  i think she had a better grasp of it than most science fiction writers.  ❞
❝  we both had places to be afterwards, so we kind of rushed. i really wish i’d taken the time to say goodbye.  ❞
❝  i guess some things just… don’t want to stay buried.  ❞
❝  it was completely against orders of course, but no one really noticed or cared that far from the front.  ❞
❝  i offered to buy him a cup of coffee.  ❞
❝  newspapers praised them at the time:  saw them as heroes of exploration and paragons of pioneer courage.  ❞
❝  i signed a lot of big, scary nda’s during my time there.  ❞
❝  i did the only thing that came to mind:  i took a grenade from my belt, removed the pin, and threw it.  ❞
❝  i doubt this storm will last more than a couple of days, and once it lets up we can sneak out of here and get going again. very, very carefully.  ❞
❝  given enough time, everything will rot away to its elementary components, and that, you can’t reverse.  ❞
❝  i really can’t see anything from inside the van.  ❞
❝  i knew there were a few experiments that dealt with some pretty high-level theoretical concepts, but i wasn’t directly involved with any of them.  ❞
❝  it’s a strange choice, but then again, he’s a strange man.  ❞
❝  i know, it sounds ridiculous. trust me, i’ve done everything i can think of to make that conclusion go away.  ❞
❝  scared the bejeezus out of a bunch of skiers, but they were nice enough to let me in after deciding i probably wasn’t a ghost.  ❞
❝  please… it burns my skin… please…  ❞
❝  i forgot how fast storms blow in up here.  ❞
❝  it’s not like i felt out of control:  it felt more natural than breathing.  ❞
❝  i didn’t know what i was doing, not at any conscious level. but one step seemed to lead to another, then the next, and then the next.  ❞
❝  it’s called a butcher’s shop in some places, but a mortuary in others. as much as i’d love to imply there was some sweeney todd style recycling going on here, i think the place has just been a lot of things over the years.  ❞
❝  god, these things are creepy as hell.  ❞
❝  if you wouldn’t mind, please, tell us what happened? in your own time, of course.  ❞
❝  it took a few long, nerve-wracking days to work up my courage and visit the section again.  ❞
❝  it’s not that odd to think that people ate each other out there.  ❞
❝  i didn’t think there was a ghost in my room or anything like that, i just kept hearing noises whenever i was about to fall asleep.  ❞
❝  i downed half a dozen energy drinks at 6 and called it dinner—i know, i know, it’s a nasty habit i picked up in grad school.  ❞
❝  they told me that the cpu and motherboard had somehow been melted into a solid lump of plastic and silicon.  ❞
❝  i mean, [name] was a pain in the ass, but at least he didn’t…  ❞
❝  my schedule was full, but i had something else fall through at the last minute. i had your number on my desk, so i thought i may as well call.  ❞
❝  i wonder if it was afraid, or if it even realized what was going to happen. it probably didn’t.  ❞
❝  i need to get more coffee. or punch someone. whichever’s more convenient.  ❞
❝  god, if that’s really how i sound…  ❞
❝  people think i write horror, but i don’t really think that’s true. i just write fiction with all of the comfortable little lies taken out of it.  ❞
❝  i have loved the stars too truly to be fearful of the night.  ❞
❝  i think he felt something about this place… some influence or power that needed to be destroyed, so he tried to do it the only way he knew how.  ❞
❝  well, it’s a tricky thing. the more realistic you make them, the more… unreal they start to look. i think it’s something about the eyes.  ❞
❝  i offered to stay late, just to smooth things over.  ❞
❝  maybe i can get some writing done while i’m stuck here…  ❞
❝  no child could grow up in a jewish home surrounded by books and not read at least one story about golems.  ❞
❝  i just wasn’t a good student, despite my love of reading.  ❞
❝  i have to say, i like your jane doe.  ❞
❝  she was a scientist herself.  maybe not formally, but her way of thinking, her insight, her methods... they were scientist’s qualities.  ❞
❝  seriously, what do i need to do to get a little privacy around here, a little dignity?  hang a  ‘ do not disturb ’  sign on the door?  change all my locks?  ❞
❝  maybe it was stupid, but i figured, ‘ hey, early december, not a cloud in the sky—should still be fine, right? ’  ❞
❝  jesus, [name], i wasn’t born yesterday.  ❞
❝  maybe doing this while it’s still dark outside isn’t the best idea.  ❞
❝  more than a century and a half have passed, and this place is still just as dangerous as it was then.  ❞
❝  now, [mr./ms./mx. name], i’m sure you know why you’re here.  ❞
❝  the [event] was a bust—only about a dozen people showed up all afternoon.  ❞
❝  i never put much stock in the idea of inspiration, but for the first time in my life, it felt like i wasn’t pushing myself through the muck of miscalculation and guesswork towards a solution. i was being pulled towards an answer that already existed.  ❞
❝  it felt like i was a few steps from finding out something fundamental. some truth about our universe that no other scientist had ever dared to dream of.  ❞
❝  huh. that’s… that’s weird. i could’ve sworn there wasn’t a sculpture back there before.  ❞
❝  apparently, no one had told them what i was doing, and i wasn’t actually cleared to leave.  ❞
❝  maybe he’s trying to make amends. keeping watch over these half-living things to make sure no harm comes to them.  ❞
❝  i expected the building to be wreathed in shadow and overgrown with cobwebs, but it's actually really nice.  ❞
❝  sorry, i was trying to get my recorder working, but it froze up on me so i had to find a tape for this old…  ❞
❝  okay. just… don’t get me sacked, alright?  can’t exactly retire on this salary.  ❞
❝  but if it was real—i don’t know if i somehow created it, or if it was feeding me information about itself before it appeared.  ❞
❝  i’ve never had a manic episode before, and i was well below the level of caffeine needed to cause intoxication. as far as i can tell, there isn’t a medical explanation for what happened.  ❞
❝  i don’t get the appeal of meeting real celebrities. it’s just a cheap shock of recognition, and nothing more.  ❞
❝  whatever this… thing was, it sounds pretty dangerous.  ❞
❝  are you familiar with temporal asymmetry?  ❞
❝  i just want to make that abundantly clear:  this /wasn’t/ the plan.  ❞
❝  right then, now let’s get started. please state your name and rank for the record.  ❞
❝  though my soul may set in darkness, it will rise in perfect light.  ❞
❝  a cracker of a book, young lady.  ❞
❝  no wonder they’re keeping them in storage. they’d give anyone nightmares.  ❞
❝  i was just going to finish out my shift unless… you want me to stick around?  ❞
❝  i went to the university, but don’t remember much of the years i spent there.  ❞
❝  having to study textbooks and essays day in and day out took all of the joy out of reading for a long time.  ❞
❝  we call paradoxes paradoxes for a reason:  no matter how plausible they seem, they can never really happen.  ❞
❝  i don’t know what happened to me that night. i still don’t even know if what i saw was real.  ❞
❝  when we look into the void for too long, we find the monsters instead.  ❞
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creativia10 · 3 years
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Others in "Working Through Intrusive Thoughts
The following contains SPOILERS for "Working Through Intrusive Thoughts"
Summary: Janus once again finds himself popping in to just watch the drama unfold. However, things take an interesting turn. He may find he has more to think about than he would have expected for that day.
Notes: Let me know if there is another way to Spoiler tag this that I missed. (Title may change). I felt the urge to write something like this pretty quickly after watching the new episode. Spoilers ahead, so please be aware. I am not sure how I feel about this. This feels different from the other one. Let me know if I've missed any warnings.
Pairing: Janus and Remus, hints of Intruloceit
Word count: 945
Warnings: Sexual innuendos, references to the content warnings from WTIT,
Janus sighed as he popped into Thomas’ living room, not announcing his presence, as he was just here for the drama again. He glanced around the room for Remus, but didn’t actively look for him, as giving him away would be ‘participating’. He would shuffle around though, not necessarily ‘hiding’ but not in their view of attention either. He snorted at Remus’ attempts at getting Logan when Logan finally saw Remus. He also took the wine bottle from Logan, pouring some for himself, then sat himself down at the table.
Logan sighed.
“Do you have to encourage him?” Janus smirked and shrugged.
“I’m just here. I’m not doing anything to egg him on.”
Logan sighed again and brought his attention back to Thomas. Virgil, despite them not talking directly, was panicking through Thomas multiple times which made Janus sigh. He almost felt bad for him.
So Janus basically just watched where he could. Logan was impressive as always. Remus’ extra-ness was entertaining as usual, although he wouldn’t have been surprised if he was going overboard to impress Janus. This didn’t always work though.
Then he did that weird little roleplay scene for Logan, which confused the man as much as everything else did. Probably didn’t even pick up that Remus was flirting. Which was fine, that was just how Remus was. There wasn’t really a reason for Janus to be jealous. He understood anyways, the nerd was desirable. He was distracted from his not-jealousy with the next thing that Remus set up.
As impressed as Janus was by all that Remus could do, the situation with Nico was clearly a sore spot. Janus wasn’t going to chastise Remus or anything of course. Besides, Logan had it covered. Oh, to wish good things for either side of this rivalry today. Another reason he was just watching, it didn’t really involve him anyways. He might even be able to calm Remus down afterwards.
Strangely enough, at one point the other two were in a different room from Thomas. The more exciting area seemed to be with Remus and Logan, although Janus was still somewhat aware of Thomas.
So he continued lurking as Logan, surprisingly tried to negotiate with Remus. If Remus didn’t have that sensitive pride that creativities seemed to have, he might have even been believed. Turned out today would be more exciting that Janus originally thought though.
Remus was pushing Logan’s buttons, of course, because that was one of Remus’ stronger qualities. Logan was starting to actually show his building frustration, which was surprising. Might even be good for Logan in the end, although Janus didn’t exactly revel in the logical side’s upset.
“Stop IGNORING ME!”
and whoa. Logan’s eyes glowed fire orange. That was not typical of him at all.
Remus went all for it. Janus was thinking more about it though. Then Thomas left to meet up with Nico, of course. Although Janus saw Logan’s face after Thomas already left.
He couldn’t help but sigh, understanding what that felt like. Sometimes he didn’t always like the ways he would do what was best for Thomas. It wasn’t like he would have been good at comfort anyways though.
Janus lounged in the tree looking over all of them as Thomas talked with Nico. Janus picked up on the tensions just bubbling under the surface, and how unstable their ‘fine-ness’ was, perpetuating the thought that it was okay, because that was what Thomas wanted. He knew though. This wouldn’t last. The theatre in him couldn’t resist the dramatics, and bit into the apple almost as a reminder to himself of what would come next.
“Well hey there Double Dee”
Janus oofed as Remus practically appeared over him and fell onto him. He grabbed hold of the tree, probably forgetting he was imaginary again.
“Hello Remus,” Janus was still looking down at the others, still thinking. He paid particular attention to Logan.
“So what’d ya think of today, huh? Teach is hot, but man can he be annoying.”
“Mhm.”
Remus leaned into him more and did his typical shimmy.
“I’m riled up again,” He breathed into Janus’ ear.
“Wanna get out of here so I can let it out?”
“I’m, not really in the mood right now, Remus.”
Remus blinked and leaned back. He seemed to take in Janus’ body language for the first time.
“Hey, er, are you ok?”
“…I’m not sure. I’m, thinking about what happened with him today.”
“Oh, Logan? Yeah, the fire eyes thing was kinda hot not gonna lie. I wonder what else I can pull at to see that again, because woo man would I want to.”
Janus pursed his lips as that ugly green feeling came back.
“Surely you realize what this could mean though.” Janus said.
Remus shrugged. “I mean, we have you. “ Remus nudged into Janus’ shoulder. “We’ll be alright.”
Janus rolled his eyes with a small smile and leaned back into the shoulder.
“Flatterer.”
“So, you really don’t want to-“
“No, Remus. Unfortunately I find my priority lies in Thomas’ mind sphere.”
Remus pouted a little.
“I’ll still see you later tonight,” Janus said softly.
Remus nodded. “You gonna try and talk to the nerd or something?”
Janus shrugged. “I am not sure what good that will do in the long run. It is certainly interesting though to be the only knowing something is coming. That is inevitable.”
Janus turned over surprised at Remus’ quiet, when Remus leaned over to kiss him. Janus returned the kiss of course, but then pulled back to give him a questioning look. Remus simply smiled and then sunk out. Janus rolled his eyes, and went back to watching them.
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Let No Man Steal Your Thyme - Older Dramione
This feels very much like a Part One, and if you’d like more please let me know! (if anyone even sees this!). 
Synopsis:
Draco, eight months after becoming a widower, nearly loses his son too in a vicious attack at Malfoy Manor. In the aftermath, while he’s being questioned by the aurors, there’s no one to look after little Scorpius, who just won’t stop howling. In desperation, and remembering how good Hermione had been with his kids, Harry brings the baby up to her office. In the end, the only thing that will calm the child is the soft hum of Hermione’s voice as she sings to him. Of course, that would be how Draco Malfoy finds her, wouldn’t t it? And then, eleven years later, Hermione meets him again...
(Warnings for past Ron/Hermione, and implied infertility. No explicit Ron-bashing, but it’s implied that their relationship couldn’t take the strain and he looked elsewhere. I may develop it later, but it won’t be a Ron-bashing fic. They’re just ultimately incompatible in this universe).
___
“Hermione…” Harry’s voice cut through her thoughts as she stared at the paperwork in front of her.
“What? What’s wrong?” she asked, jerking to her feet behind her enormous desk, eyes wide at the sight of Harry’s face. He was ashen, and it took a lot to shake Auror Potter these days. “Is it Ginny? James? Albus? Merlin, Harry, what’s happened?”
“They’re fine,” he said heavily and with a strangely detached intonation. “It’s… It’s Malfoy.”
That drew her up short. “Draco?” she frowned, wondering why he’d be so concerned about his former schoolboy nemesis. They hadn’t seen him in years. No one had. “What about him?”
“He… There was an attack.”
Her world tilted strangely. He’d always been there in the background, though the last time she’d seen him had been years ago at Theo’s wedding. He’d looked so good then, and happy too, with Astoria smiling at his side. She seemed to have softened his sharp edges, though the two had merely nodded when their eyes met across the room while Theo kissed his husband silly in the middle of the dance floor. That had been a good night, but that had been years ago.  
“Harry, what happened? Is… Is he alright?”
“I’m not really here about Draco…. It’s about his son, Scorpius.”  
“I don’t understand.”
Harry stepped into her office and closed the door. With his status as Head Auror, he was the only one who could barge in on the head of the DMLE like this, and she welcomed it. “As I understand it, he left Scorpius in the care of his nanny for the afternoon so that he could go to Gringotts and sort out some business there, and while he was gone… the nanny and Scorpius were attacked. The nanny… she died protecting him. We’ve managed to keep it from the press at the moment.”
“Harry, where’s Draco now?” She scowled, coming around to the side of the desk. “I should have been informed, this is my department, Harry…”
“He’s being questioned.”
“Questioned? By whom? Why? Harry —”
“We need to know all we can about it. There were Dark Arts involved, Hermione. Some really nasty curses. This is Auror stuff for now. If it becomes your department, you can handle it personally if you like but…”  
He sucked in a breath and suddenly looked much older than he was. She was viscerally reminded of Remus Lupin for a heartbeat.  
“Mione, I haven’t got anywhere I can leave Scorpius, and he hasn’t stopped screaming since he got here. You… You were always so good with my lot… is… is there any chance I can leave him with you. I know he’ll be safe here…”
She blinked. “Harry, I —” What was she about to say? That she didn’t have time? That she didn’t have time to take care of a frightened child? What could be more important than that? The stacks of parchments and fluttering memos orbiting her desk would say otherwise, but she was head of the department, dammit. Someone else could handle that. “Of course.”
Harry’s shoulders went slack and he exhaled. “I’ll bring him up.” And with that, he was gone.  
She heard Scorpius long before she saw him, howling like a mandrake. 
When the eight month old child was brought into her office, red-faced and screaming, her heart went out to him. Harry - who had seen his fair share of babies and drama with his own little brood - looked distinctly uncomfortable holding the squirming child in his arms.  
There was a rarely-used sofa in Hermione’s office, and she took the wriggling baby from Harry and sank down onto it. “You can leave me with him,” she said quietly, marvelling at his silver eyes and tiny hands, currently balled into feisty little fists. “Tell Penelope that I am unavailable for the rest of the day and to be disturbed only in absolute emergencies, and even then only by you.”
Harry nodded.  
“Or by Draco, if he’s free and wants to reclaim his gorgeous little howling hellspawn,” she laughed. At the sound of it, Scorpius took a gulping breath, and paused his dramatics, blinking. “Oh, you didn’t like that, hmm?” she chuckled, tapping his tiny little button nose. “Well, if the shoe fits…” she said.  
“I’ll leave you to it,” Harry mumbled. “Thanks, Hermione.”
“Honestly, despite the terrible circumstances, I’m grateful for some time off, Harry. I can’t remember the last time I put something else before work.”
“Probably the last time Albus made a noise like that,” he snorted, hand on the door. “Shout if you need anything. I’ll be down in interrogation with Malfoy.”
“Harry?”
“Mm?”
“Go easy on him. He’s only been a widower for eight months.”
The comment brought a quiet look to Harry’s green eyes, perhaps imagining himself in the same boat, and he nodded.  
It took a long, long time for Scorpius to settle, but after nearly two hours, she had resorted to letting the boy play with her curls while she sang. He liked the melancholy folk songs, she discovered, so after four renditions of Scarborough Fair, and two of Go Your Way, she settled on Let No Man Steal Your Thyme. That one hurt even more than Go Your Way, but Scorpius was fascinated.  
Hermione wasn’t the best singer, but her husky alto suited that last one so well that she almost forgot to be shy about singing, even for a baby.  
Tears flowed as the words stuck in her throat and she cradled the little one close to her, cupping his head as she rocked him. Pain and heartache welled up in her as she fought down flashes of Ron’s callous betrayal, but she forced her voice to remain steady. 
For when your thyme is past and gone
He'll care no more for you
And in the place your time was waste
Will spread all over with rue
Will spread all over with rue
The door creaked and she jumped. Instinctively turning little Scorpius from the doorway and setting her own body between them, she soon found she need not have been so protective. Draco Malfoy stood on the threshold, his silver eyes wide and full of tears, his lips parted in a gesture of astonishment.  
“Draco,” she said, standing carefully from the sofa. “Are you alright?”
He didn’t say anything for the longest time, but eventually he cleared his throat. “Granger…” he whispered. “I… I mean…”
“Please,” she said, stepping over to him and holding out the tiny child. “Here… Careful, he’s not long been asleep.”
“Potter said he wouldn’t stop screaming. I nearly broke the wards trying to get to him…”
She chuckled. Scorpius still had his little fingers gripped around a curl and Draco was staring at it. “I’m surprised anything stopped you,” she said. “Here,” and handed him over.  
Draco took him so gently that something twisted in her gut and she almost lurched back from him for no good reason. Scorpius grumbled and fussed in his sleep as she pried his strong fingers off her hair and she stroked the back of his smooth, now pale, cheek. “Shh, little mandrake,” she smiled. “It’s alright now. Your father’s here.”
If she’d been told, at the age of eleven, that Draco Malfoy would be cradling his son like he was the most precious thing in the universe, she would have laughed, but seeing it now, it only warmed her heart.  
“Thank you, Granger,” Draco said in a hoarse rasp without taking his eyes off his boy. “I can’t tell you… I can’t tell you how much this means to me.”
“I think I can hazard a guess,” she said with a wry twist to her lips.  
“You and Weasley have children, Granger?” he asked, still staring at his son.  
Pain lanced through her chest, but she kept her face perfectly schooled. “No, but I’ve seen my fair share of late nights and fussy babies from Harry and Ginny.”
At that, Draco looked up sharply, his piercing eyes searching her face. “I see,” was all he said.
“Harry and his team will do everything they can to figure out who was behind it, Draco. They’ll get them.”
His face darkened. “Azkaban will be too comfortable a place for them after what they did.”
That’s the Malfoy I remember, she nearly said, but instead, she stroked Scorpius silky white hair once and then rolled the tension from her neck while Malfoy crossed to the door, his tiny son held tight to his chest. He looked thinner than she remembered, and more haunted around the eyes, but she supposed that the grief of his wife’s death was still near. Theo - a surprisingly close friend of hers these days - had said Malfoy hadn’t left the manor at all since Astoria died. Perhaps this was his first outing. Oh God, she thought. What a thing to happen on his first day from the Manor.  
“Take care of yourself, Granger,” he said from the doorway, and she realised that she’d been staring at him without really seeing him.  
“You too, Draco,” she said. “I hope perhaps to see you again, though under infinitely better circumstances.”
That clearly surprised him, but he managed a tight-lipped smile, a nod, and then he was gone.  
She sank down on to the sofa, feeling the loss of the little boy’s weight in her arms anew, and with a flick of her fingers, she wandlessly closed and locked the door to her office, and burst into tears.  
___
“Mum!” Albus whined, yanking Ginny along while their younger sister slid her tiny hand into Hermione’s and trotted along at a more sedate pace. “Come on! We’re going to miss the train!”
Ginny shot Hermione a frantic look over her shoulder, and Hermione just rolled her eyes. They still had enough time.  
“I want to go through on my own!” Albus said with a serious little frown on his adorable face when they paused in the main concourse of the station. “Can I?”
Ginny nodded. “Wait right on the other side for us though. Do not go wandering off. It’ll be chaos back there.”
The earnest young boy nodded and turned his trolley towards the barrier. Hermione watched as Ginny as Albus vanished into the brickwork, unseen by muggle eyes. “It’s no easier the second time around, Hermione,” she said.  
James, two years older, just rolled his eyes and slouched through after his little brother with the unimpressed face of a thirteen year old.
“Go on,” Hermione chuckled at Ginny. “I’ll bring Lily through.”
Reunited on the other side, Hermione’s eyebrows rose at the sight that greeted her almost immediately. Amid the bustle and rolling clouds of steam, a tall, slender man stood with his back to them, silver-white hair neatly combed back, and with his hand resting on the shoulder of a young boy who could have been a carbon copy of himself at that age. Hermione’s mind actually slipped a little sideways at the sight of them.
There was a bubble of empty space around them though, as if they carried the plague, and people shot them furtive looks as they scuttled past. Malfoy kept his hand on his son’s shoulder, and Hermione remembered with a jolt that she’d once held the boy who now stood beside him. Scorpius. Malfoy’s little mandrake. That had been in another life, it seemed to her then.  
“That’s Malfoy,” Ginny whispered, sounding scandalised as she half-turned to Hermione. “He hasn’t been seen in public for… years. I heard he’s a complete recluse… I’m surprised he didn’t pack his son off on the train with some governess or something…”
“Don't gossip, Gin,” Hermione chided her best friend. “It’s unkind.”
The guard gave a shrill whistle, and the platform scurried into a maelstrom of last-minute, frenzied activity. Goodbyes from weeping parents, yells and laughter of reuniting students, hooting owls and yowling cats… it was a familiar cacophony and somehow it soothed her. In the chaos, Malfoy and his son disappeared amid the smoke like ghosts.  
Once James had said his goodbyes and scuttled off to be with his friends, a sulking Albus hugged his mother, and she ruffled his black hair. “Your father’s so proud of you, Albus,” she said.  
“Yeah, but he’s not here today is he?” he said in a softly sullen voice as he stepped back.  
“He’s not in the country, Albus. He would have been here if he could, and he’ll be here when you come home for the holidays. He’s booked the time off already,” she said, clearly trying to hold it together.  
“Yeah, til there’s an emergency then as well.”  
“Can I have one last hug before you go?” Ginny asked and reluctantly the boy wound his arms around his mother’s waist again. “Thanks, love. I’m so proud of you.”
Hermione cupped his cheek fondly as he pulled back, and said, “You’ll be fine, Albus. Whatever happens, we’ll all be proud of you, alright? You can always owl us if you need anything.”
“Yes, Aunt Hermione.” The kid nodded and they helped him heave his trunk onto the train and stow it in the luggage area.  
As the engine left in a cloud of steam, Ginny looked at her wristwatch swore softly. “I’ve got to go. Come on, Lily,” she said, taking the quiet young girl’s hand. “Ready to side-along? Mummy’s going to be late.”
“You’re always late,” Lily said innocently and Hermione hid a smirk behind her hand.  
“Not one word, Granger,” Ginny snickered at her. “Thanks love. I’ll see you for dinner on Thursday?”
“Wouldn’t miss it for the world,” Hermione smiled, hugging her briefly in an awkward side-hug before they both disapparated, leaving her alone in the swirling steam.  
When it cleared, she found that the only other person on her section of the platform was Draco Malfoy. He stood with his back to her, staring after the train like a statue as the white clouds cleared in the wake of the departing Express.  
Taking a chance, Hermione approached him. He flinched when she appeared in his peripheral vision, but when he saw who it was, he stilled. “Granger…” he said warily. Age had done nothing to his looks except perhaps to enhance them, though he still bore shadows under his eyes and carried a pinched look that reminded her of their sixth year at Hogwarts.  
She smiled openly though. “Draco.”  
His gaze slid inexorably back to the retreating engine as it dragged the carriages behind it, and he blinked a few times, eyes glassy. His throat worked as he swallowed thickly, and then he frowned. “You seeing your own off today?” he asked, still staring.  
The dull pain still made itself known, but she shook her head. “No. I’m… I’m here for Ginny’s younger boy, Albus.”
“I see.”
“Harry was a wreck when James went away.” At Malfoy’s frown, she clarified, “His first born.”  
“He’s not here today?” Malfoy asked with familiar sarcasm lacing his tone and turning to face her. “Couldn’t stand it a second time round?”
She sighed and swept her wild hair back out of her face, watching as Malfoy’s eyes tracked the movement with the intensity of a grey owl. “He’s on assignment and couldn’t get away. He left a letter in Albus’ suitcase, but the kid’s still hurt. How’s Scorpius handling it?” and by extension, you?  
Malfoy managed a weak, lopsided smile that carried none of his previous sneer and sting. In fact, he looked washed out. His cheeks were gaunt in a way that reminded her unsettlingly of Lucius in his latter years among the Death Eaters. Malfoy inhaled sharply through his nose. “Better than I would have done, in his position. He’s… He’s worried about the legacy I’ve left him, I think. Rightly so.”
Hermione nodded, hair still blowing about her head like a dandelion. “Albus too, with Harry.”
Malfoy raised one icy eyebrow and snorted in a very ‘Malfoy’ way. It was almost reassuring. “For different reasons, I imagine.”
“Yes and no,” she said, continuing unflinchingly. “Obviously Scorpius will have to deal with the unsavoury nature of your role in the war, but Harry’s successes weigh heavily on his children too. The pressure they feel is, regrettably, immense. In that respect, I’m almost glad I —” she cut herself off abruptly. “Anyway. All we can do is support them.”
Malfoy was looking at her with the strangest expression on his face. “Indeed,” he finally said. “I should return to the Manor.”
“Have a drink with me,” she blurted, and he turned his head like an owl in surprise. It might have been funny if his face wasn’t so difficult to read.  
“Beg pardon?” he snorted.  
“Sorry. I… I didn’t mean to impose myself on you, Draco. I don’t blame you if you’d rather not. I just… You look like you could use a drink.”
“At elven o’clock in the morning? What kind of degenerate do you take me for?”
Was he joking? She thought she saw a little burnished glint in his silver eyes. “Come to the Leaky with me and find out,” she said. “I’ve got nothing all day.”
He narrowed his eyes. Finally, he whispered, “Merlin’s beard, you’re actually serious.”
“Perfectly, but there’s no pressure. I’ve got some things I need to see to in Diagon Alley first. We could have lunch if you’d rather.”
He opened his mouth, said nothing, closed it, opened it again, and then, to her astonishment, he laughed. It was a bitter, brittle little thing, but still, it touched his eyes. “Alright. Lunch it is, Granger. I’ll see you at twelve thirty at the Leaky.”
Her mouth lifted into a smile and her heart leapt. She felt like a teenager again, giddy with anticipation and the slight elicit feel to it. This was Draco Malfoy after all. But she’d seen him watery eyed and desperately worried for his infant son, and she would never look at him the same way again after that.
___
If you enjoyed, please reblog and share! I’m kind of new to being active in the fandom on here, and shy.
If you want more from this AU, let me know too!
You spoke! and PART TWO was written. Find it here, and check my masterlist for more parts in the future!
___
writing masterlist | Ao3 (updated, should work now! Sorry!)
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