#I mean really Ed? That’s how you deal with a breakup?

[itsstede]

I really wish we could see the full list of Blackbeard’s crimes. It’s a pretty curious list featuring things like bootlegging, shoplifting?, impersonating who?, witchcraft?, plagiarism of what?, changing the word “god”?

✨But also!✨

Excessive mirth

Smart casual attire formal function

(I’m not sure if this 👆is one thing or two separate)

“Communism”

Unlicensed midwifery

[maudie-duan]

Summary: In a crowd full of adoring fans, Harry can’t seem to take his eyes off the girl standing front row, who won’t look up from her phone—I mean, why the hell come to a One Direction concert, have one of the best spots in the house, and not look at him, at least once??? What happens when Harry takes it upon himself to get Romee’s attention? Will he be “that” asshole, or is he as charming as he thinks?

Word Count: 768

A/N: I had a little inspiration from @howling-wolf97 

I read their One Shot called “Your Texting!” <— 

I couldn’t stop thinking about how well they nailed Harry on stage, and so this is what my brain came up with—of course, we're getting Harry on stage being Harry, eventually, but different era. 

Warning: Mature, Eventual Smut, Strong Language, Angst.

I thought it was an asshole move to steal the phone of a fan for self-amusement, but maybe that was Harry’s thing—I guess he didn’t physically take the phone from my hand; my friend did—I knew nothing about One Direction except that they were a boy band and that my best friend was obsessed with them. She had been begging me for months to go to this concert. Eventually, I said yes, but let me back up and explain how this all happened and how Harry Styles ended up with my phone.

Let me start by telling you that just to get to the concert, I had to take two different planes. I couldn’t for the life of me find a round trip from Oklahoma to LA. Nothing about the trip had been easy, so I wondered if this would be the fate of everything that was to come. 

Did I mention that there was a twelve-hour layover?? By the time I got to California, I felt dead. All I wanted to do was crawl into my friend's bed and cry—because I should also tell you that sometime during my flight to LA, my boyfriend messaged me and basically said, “I think we should see other people…”

Well, actually, it said this:

This was one of the first things I saw when I landed, so I think you can understand how the concert was the last thing on my mind—Who sends their girlfriend of four years a shitty half-ass breakup—because that was essentially what he was doing, right?—And why would he wait until I left town to tell me this?—It had been less than 24 hours since his dick was inside me—to say I was pissed was an understatement.

I didn’t message him back. I didn’t want this to ruin my trip, and I was so excited to see my friend, who I rarely got to see anymore since she was going to college in California. I wanted to go and not only have a good time with Clara, but I also wanted to celebrate her because it was a big fucking deal to finally get out of Oklahoma like we had always dreamed of doing, and here she was. I was so proud of her and wanted to share these memories with her. 

The concert was the first thing on our list. Clara kept droning on about how her dad “outdid himself” and sarcastically spilling about how her parents’ divorce had finally been working in her favor. 

“I’m just saying, Rome, we’ll be so close that we’ll be able to see them sweat.” Clara gushes. 

I roll my eyes, “Clara, how old are they?” I ask, genuinely curious to see if she should be this excited about a group of “boys.”

Clara grabs her phone, pulling up each of their Instagram profiles. She made a point to over-explain minor details that I’m sure I would have no use for later, but as she went on, I got sucked in:

“So you’re telling me that people—” I start.

“No fans—” Clara corrects me, “They’re not just people. We’re faaaannnns,” she draws out.

“Okay, so “fans” really believe that. Wait—” my eyes search her face, trying to remember each of their names, “Is it Larry?” 

She belts out laughing like it’s the funniest thing I’ve said all night, and I know I’m more amusing than that, but I shrug it off and listen. “No—H-A-R-R-Y,” she over annunciates “And, Louis.”

“So, Harry and Louis are a thing?” I questioned, a little skeptical because she had yet to show me any real evidence, except for a few videos that “maybe” could have been edited.

“Like they’re just fucking behind the scenes?” I ask.

She silently nods, gazing down at her phone, smiling a smile you would give a newborn baby, “Yeah…” she breathes out, “They’re perfect…”

“Wait—wait—wait—” I say, snatching the phone from her hand. “So you’re telling me…that this hot fucking dude…is gay?” 

We’re both staring down at a picture of the guy with longish brown hair covered in tattoos, and I’m having the hardest time accepting that he is even the slightest bit gay—I’m mean, if he is, good for him, but I’m not even a fan, and selfishly I want every odd to be in my favor. 

“I know, he’s hot, right?” She voices, stealing my exact train of thought. She has the same look as before, admiring her beloved “boys.” —and I fall back on the bed, grabbing my phone to re-read Shawn’s message. Thinking of what I’ll say when I finally see his stupid fucking face. 

A/N: This was just for fun. Not sure if I'll continue. If you're interested, I'll definitely start a tag list!! let me know! hope you guys enjoyed!!

[try-set-me-on-fire]

wip game: should we talk about the weather 👀

Hehehehehehe big bang fic!!! Hmm I’ll share the pitch I gave to the event artists (hehehe…)

In a world where certain individuals are capable of sharing their own instincts and feelings — and even occasionally physical strength — with their likewise capable partners, Eddie and Buck, and Hen and Chim are what people sometimes call congeneric minds. It comes in handy in a high stakes profession like firefighting to have two people in such synchronization, able to warn each other of danger without ever having to waste time opening their mouths to speak.

Being so in sync with someone doesn’t necessarily mean smooth sailing communication however. Recently back at work after taking time off post-shooting, Eddie worries about Buck and how he’s been dealing with the events of the last year (last several years, really) but doesn’t know how to bring it up when he himself has always kind of encouraged them to move past life changing events with little discussion. While Hen and Chim are getting along just fine, Chimney and Maddie are dancing around each other and their recent breakup, and Hen feels trapped between disappointing her mother or her wife while being roped into backyard wedding planning.

With danger ever present on the job and turmoil seemingly always bubbling outside it, will everyone find the right words before it’s too late?

AKA what if people could be drift compatible in regular life without giant robots, and they’re all disasters at communicating anyway

And here’s a snippet!

Eddie doesn’t get around to talking to Buck till a week later. They’re in Eddie’s house again, but Buck has started to look exhausted everywhere, all the time, nothing special anymore about the way his eyelids droop when he walks in through this specific door. It’s worse than usual today. They had a hell of a long call — a rockslide down on the PCH, outside of their usual range but it was bad enough that the responding station had called for any back up they could possibly get — and Eddie’s wrist and shoulders and whole damn body aches from the hours of grueling work. Buck has to be feeling it, too. Eddie heads right to the bathroom, grabbing the tube of arnica gel that keeps this household running some days.

He doesn’t know how to bring anything up. We need to talk feels as ridiculous as it does dire. That’s a movie script confrontation, as contrived and meaningless as it’s not you, it’s me, or I’m sorry for your loss. Buck is his best friend, and also their fucking hearts beat in rhythm. He can do better.

“My leg hurts sometimes,” is what ends up coming out of his mouth when he gets back to the living room. Your ache is mine. A little poetic, but whatever. It gets the point across. Share it with me, please. We already do, so why are you hiding it?

Buck is sprawled on the floor next to the couch, Eddie isn’t sure why. He looks up at him silently for a few moments, and then rubs at his shoulder. Answer enough. Eddie barely has to look as he tosses him the gel, sure Buck will catch it as Eddie sits on the couch with a sigh. He watches Buck, still prone, hike up his pant leg and start massaging arnica into his calf muscles.

“Are you… doing okay?” It feels stupid to say.

Buck looks at him like it’s stupid to hear, too. His fingers drum a few times over one of the jagged lines still drawn up his shin. “‘M fine, Eds. Just a long day.”

Eddie purses his lips, shaking his head back and forth in a slow roll against the back of the couch. “You know that’s not what I meant.” His hand lifts up to catch the tossed arnica without thinking about it. He looks down at Buck, sprawled out, looking back up at him. “I want to… know that you’re okay. And, Buck, I’m here if you’re not.”

Buck sits up with a sigh that’s more petulant and annoyed than Eddie wishes it was. He rests his chin on his bent knee. “I know. But I’m- I’ll be fine. Stop worrying.”

Eddie snorts at that. “Oh, yeah, that’s something I’m great at.”

Buck’s smile grows so tenderly across his face. “I know.” He twitches his right pointer finger three times and Eddie’s moves involuntarily with he tug. “Come on,” he says, standing up with a groan. “Let’s make the pizza.”

They’d bought the ingredients together — sort of together, Buck on the phone at the grocery store and Eddie and Chris shouting requests down the line — earlier that week, and Chris will be home soon from a friend’s house and likely starving from the hard work of being a twelve year old all day long. He’s old enough that the novelty of making the pizza himself is less appealing than being able to immediately eat it, even if Buck had made sad faces as he’d relayed his instructions to make it in his absence. And this is all a distraction, Eddie knows it is, but Buck is smiling down at him and his finger goes tug, tug, tug, and he lets him get away with it.

[succubusvalentine]

Cold. Pt 2

Warnings ! ~ This part talks about self harm (non-specified), Chrissy ain't nice, sex mentioned very briefly.

Read Part One ! {} Request Something ! {} Masterlist ! {}

You awoke to the familiar warmth of Eddie, you were clinging to him like a koala, and when you looked up at him you noticed he was already looking down at you with glassy eyes.

'What's wrong?' you asked quietly

'Just feel bad' he whispered hoarsely

'No offence but you kinda should' you smiled at him

Eddie let out a quiet, sad laugh before wrapping his arms around you tightly. Although you felt like you could barely breath, you enjoyed the pressure.

'let's do something, anything you want' Eddie said into your hair

'I just wanna watch a bunch of movies with you Eds’

‘Alright sweetheart, but what are we gonna do about Steve? Are-are you not wanting to see him anymore?-have me see him anymore?’

‘I think…I think that I can forgive him but he just really needs to make it up. Like he needs to understand my point of view and seriously apologise about Chrissy being a better fuck than me’

‘Nobody’s a better fuck than you honey’ Eddie said while kissing your face. You pushed him away giggling

‘But I think he just felt like he had to defend himself ya’know? I mean, he’s had to deal with his dad calling him a world of names-especially calling him a man whore-when he found out about us. So I think that Stevie just thought you were attacking him like his dad does, and I think when he calms down he’ll understand your point if view’

‘Yeah I guess but I just don’t know why he’s hanging out with Chrissy so much’ you whispered, feeling tears welling up again.

‘Honey, Chrissy is um, manipulative. Whenever Steve or I would tell her we would hang out with you that day she would get like really upset, or tell us she isn’t feeling well. And then when we both got sick of it and called her out on it she told us that she was going to um…harm herself’ Eddie said, clearly annoyed.

‘I think it affected Steve more than me, first time she said it he was really shaken up about it’

‘oh’

‘that doesn’t excuse his behaviour at all though’

You nodded, your eyes feeling tired again. You yawned, shutting your eyes, shoving your face back into Eddie’s chest, inhaling the smell of cigarettes and his cologne, he smelt more like cigarettes than usual though.

‘Chrissy just leave me alone okay?’ Steve nearly yelled

‘but it’s not fair! You broke up with her!’ Chrissy practically wailed

‘No I didn’t, it’s a fight not a breakup. Jesus Chrissy just get it through your head that i don’t want to be friends with you anymore’

‘Because you can’t! Eddie already dumped me-‘

‘Hold on, dumped you? He was never your boyfriend Chrissy’

She giggled at his words, ‘of course he was! We had sex!’

Steve’s eyes widened at the words that came out of Chrissy’s mouth. Eddie wouldn’t do that, right? I mean surely not. He knew Chrissy was a bitch but Jesus Christ.

‘What?’ Steve glowered

‘Oh yeah, a couple times actually. He felt so good’ she smiled.

‘You fucked my boyfriend?’ Steve yelled, getting closer

‘Y-your boyfriend?’ Chrissy asked, suddenly terrified

‘Yes my boyfriend. How dumb are you that you didn’t even know we were together? He calls me Stevie, he calls me honey!’

‘You guys never k-kissed! And he calls everybody nicknames it’s his thing!’

‘He calls people he loves nicknames. Me, Robin, Dustin, our girlfriend! Did you ever pick up on how he only ever called you Chrissy?’

‘W-well no but-‘

‘But nothing! Tell me, what’s the tattoo he has on his v-line?’

Chrissy’s eyes lowered to the floor looking for an answer.

‘It’s a um, it’s, it’s barbed wire’

‘No Chrissy it isn’t. you clearly didn’t fuck him. You wanna know what it actually is? Eddie has a tattoo on his v-line that says Ahoy. it was a stupid fucking dare Robin gave him. You didn’t fuck Eddie. You never will’

‘Okay! Maybe I didn’t fuck Eddie but you look like you need to blow off some steam and maybe I can help?’ Chrissy says, inching closer, placing her hand on Steve’s chest.

Steve quickly shoved her away, maybe a bit too hard as Chrissy fell backwards and landed on her ass.

‘No, don’t fucking touch me. God I just-I can’t believe you. Or me for that matter. I feel disgusting for what I said. I said you were a better fuck for God's sake!' Steve yelled, the emotions building up and making it harder and harder to contain the tears.

'I could be a better fuck Stevie' Chrissy says looking up at Steve.

'Don't-don't call me that. Just fucking, don't talk to me anymore. Please'

He then stormed out of the apartment, beating himself up on the inside. He seriously cannot believe himself. He felt disgusting, he felt like his father. His face now blooming with a bruise that will remind him of his mistake for weeks.

He now didn't know where to go, he knew when he got back to his apartment that Chrissy will have left but likely left a large mess on her way out.

Steve didn't know how he was going to make it up to you and Eddie. He couldn't make it up with sex, that feels like a cop out. But he also knows that flowers and chocolate won't do much. Maybe a necklace and new ring for you two? Or is that too much like his father, always making mistakes towards Steve or his mother; then buying Steve a new baseball bat or buy his mother a new bracelet.

He's getting too into his own head, you know what? He is going to buy you two jewellery.

He walked out of the high class jewellery store, bag in hand containing a new ruby necklace for you, before going to a more indie store he knew Eddie frequents.

When Steve walked in the store he asked the woman at the counter if she knew Eddie, and when she told him that she indeed does, he asks if Eddie has been eyeing a specific ring.

Turns out Eddie has expensive taste, not that Steve can't afford it.

He arrives at Nancy and Robin's apartment, knowing that Eddie was there with you, judging from when Nancy had told him on the phone after he left yesterday.

Yes, he had tried to call Nancy and apologise to you and Eddie over the phone since he assumed the two of you would definitely not want to see him.

Sighing, he knocked lightly on the door, waiting for a handful of names to be thrown at him.

Nancy opened the door, her eyes hardening when she saw Steve.

'You know you can't buy their forgiveness' she spits

'I-I know, I just, can I see them?' Steve asks

She looks at him, trying to decide if he has good intentions.

She rolled her eyes at his kicked puppy look, before stepping aside, allowing Steve inside.

He hightailed it to the room that you were in, knocking lightly. He smiled softly when he heard Eddie laughing at something before saying 'come in!'

When Steve opened the door, he was met with the two of you cuddled up on the bed.

Eddie's eyes immediately glared daggers into Steve, only softening for a split second when he saw the nasty bruise on Steve's face.

'Please, I don't want to fight' Steve mumbled.

'Are you just here to tell us what a good fuck Chrissy is?' you asked, venom lacing your words.

Steve looked like he had been punched in the gut.

'God no, she disgusts me. I'd never fuck her' Steve mumbles.

'Oh yeah right' you spat.

Steve got closer to the bed, sitting on it, 'I don't even know where to begin, I-I'm so sorry'

'Uh huh' you muttered.

You appreciated Eddie not inserting himself in, while yes he had a right to be mad at Steve, he wasn't hurt nearly as much as you.

'I just didn't want you accusing me of something I would never do, you two have my whole heart and, and Chrissy? God she's a horrible person but I refused to see it because I just thought that she was the same girl she was in high school' Steve mumbled, 'And I don't know how to make it up to you guys, but I promise I will, even if you don't want to be with me anymore, I will move to Australia if you asked me to, just so you never see me again' he continued.

you giggled at his words, something that made his heart flutter.

'Chrissy has changed and she changed me as well, that doesn't excuse my behaviour but to put it in perspective, Chrissy told me that she fucked Eddie. Which, she didn't she didn't even know about his tattoo on his v-line-'

'Second best tattoo on me' Eddie smirked, pulling the cover away, showing off his Ahoy tattoo.

you slapped Eddie lightly on his chest, a silent way of telling him to shut up so Steve can continue.

'She didn't even know about the tattoo on his v-line, so clearly they didn't fuck, and she didn't even know that me and Eddie were dating. it's unbelievable. And I didn't want to make it up to you guys with sex because I felt like that would just be a douchebag move. I did get gifts, and yeah, that's also a bit douchey I know, but I would have felt even worse if I didn't give you something. I'll make it up to you two everyday for the rest of our lives I swear'

You and Eddie looked at each other, a silent conversation.

You squinted at Steve.

'I forgive you, but not fully, obviously i'm still pissed about what you said, and did. As I am with Eddie. But I forgive you'

Steve's shoulders relax, obviously relieved.

'I wanna see these gifts' Eddie says, clapping his hands together.

You rolled your eyes and laughed lightly at Eddie.

Steve reached down, grabbing the bags off the ground and handing them to the two of you.

Your eyes widened at the expensive brand logo on the bag, reaching in and pulling out the box. You looked up at Steve, and he knew what you were gonna say.

'No, you two deserve something. I don't care how expensive it is' he said simply.

you clicked open the box, Eddie watching next to you. And your eyes opened comically wide at the sparkling red gem.

'Jesus H Christ' Eddie whispered.

'Steve this is gorgeous' you said softly.

'Only the best for my girl' Steve smiled.

'See if you get the best for your boy too' Eddie said, reaching into his own bag.

When Eddie pulled out a ring box, Eddie's eyes shot to Steve's

'asking to marry us Harrington?'

'Not yet' Steve laughed.

Eddie popped open the box, smiling brightly at the ring that was inside.

'I've been looking at this for weeks! You know, Octopus's actually-'

'Octopi hon' you corrected softly

'right, Octopi actually-'

Steve smiled as Eddie rambled on, moving to lie down next to you two.

Both Steve and Eddie knew that they would spend forever making it up to you. But that was something they were more than happy to do.

HI BOZOS!!!!!!

IM SORRY THIS IS SO SHORT!

Alr, this isn't like the best but I do hope ya'll enjoyed and please know, love Chrissy, nothing against her character.

Also can we talk about how Eddie would be obsessed with Octopi?? Bro probably thinks it is so cool that they have 8 arms for sure.

BYE BOZOS!!

taglist ! @svtbpbts @letitiasleftfoot @munson-girl @zzz000eee @tiannamortis @eddiesguitarskills @danandphilequalsmemes @bibieddiesgf @alohastitch0626

So sorry if I missed anybody !

[lampiche]

Thoughts on the first episode of the Ave Mujica anime

Here I am, finally putting my Avemuji thoughts in a proper written post! I really needed to get this out of my system before I lost the energy to do so. Before watching the episode, I made a bingo to try and guess what things would happen, so I'll be centering my comments around it. I'll most likely do the same for the next episodes :D

For now I'm keeping everything under the cut just in case, and I'll do the same for the posts about the other episodes :)

So, here's the original bingo:

Here is the updated version of the bingo after watching the episode :]

Before starting, I just wanna say that anything I didn't get will be put on the bingo for episode 2, while all the thing that I got or that were proven wrong will be replaced. Also the green means that I got a case right and the orange means that I got part of it right.

Starting off with "Starts with the Crychic breakup scene from Sakiko's pov"

So. I put this because I expected the beginning of the Ave Mujica anime to mirror the beginning of the MyGo anime. Except it didn't. Instead the anime starts some time after Ave Mujica's debut, and I choose to believe that the irl Avemuji lives happened in the Bandori universe, setting us after Ave Mujica's fourth live show.

Other than that, I was surprised that Sakiko's backstory was completely explored in the first episode, but the more I think about it, the more it makes sense. It seems to align with her desire to "forget everything", even though it will probably come back to bite her in the ass. It seems that what matters is not really the circumstances of her past, but rather how they will affect her future. I do wanna say though, that I felt like the pacing of the episode was a little too quick. I get that they wanted to fit all of Sakiko's backstory in, but I think they should have done the episode a little longer, because Sakiko's backstory came pretty suddenly and it barely gave me any time to register it before moving on to something else.

I don't have much to say for the second one ("Flashback to explain Sakiko's sudden change") because it ties in with the first and it was pretty obvious. I'm excited to see what the backstories of the other girls are though.

Now onto the third point, "Sakiko's mother k/lled herself/cheated which broke her father and caused him to become an alcoholic and make the family go bankrupt"

I'm mostly including it because I guessed that Sakiko's mother d/ed. To be honest, this was a theory of mine ever since the end of the MyGo anime, but I actually got the timeline wrong. I thought that her mother dy/ng was what caused her to quit Crychic, but she actually created Crychic to deal with her grief and move on. Also her dad became an alcoholic after being bankrupt. There is still a faint possibility of su/cide because we don't know the causes of her mother's d/ath, but a background character says "She held on long enough..." about Sakiko's mother which makes me think that she could have been battling an illness instead.

And the situation between Sakiko and her dad is so heartbreaking... That moment when he tells her to leave hurt so much, because she sacrificed everything for him, she did everything to support them both and she always believed in him, but in the end it's that same resilience that made him resent her. It's sad that within all of his grief, Sakiko's father couldn't help but despise how Sakiko seemed to be "moving on", even though she did it all for them both.

Next, "Mutsumi says more than a word to anyone other than Sakiko"

I actually added this for funsies, but I'm glad that I got it so early in the episode! The sentence in question is "Thank you for your time.", said at 5:24 :)

"Uika x Sakiko dialogue/scenes"

"My dream of being with you forever came true." I love lesbians...

And finally, "Nyamu and Sakiko arguing :)"

This was another one that I expected to see, but by the end of the episode I was quite confused by Nyamu's animosity towards Sakiko.

I get that she doesn't want to be in Ave Mujica if it doesn't bring in clout for her, but she does her very best to push all of Sakiko's buttons. Even though Sakiko has an obvious desire for control and Nyamu wants to do things her own way, I feel like there's more meaning behind Nyamu's behaviour...

I wonder if she identifies with Sakiko to some degree (wanting to be in control of everything about her own life, wanting to give a perfect image of herself) and so loathes her? Or maybe, on the other end of the chart, Sakiko represents everything she despises (controlling, influential, "perfect" girl)? Anyway, I'm excited to learn more about Nyamu later on!

Thanks for reading all of this and see you next time! :D

[dancingkirby]

As both a writer and a reader, I guess I should do a few of both. This got pretty long so it's under a read-more.

My fics (in the chronological order that I posted them):

Dissolution Fandom: Yugioh 5D's. Rating: M.

Summary: The formation and breakup of Team Satisfaction, as seen through the eyes of Crow and Kiryu. Darkfic.

Into Open Waters Fandom: Legend of Korra. Rating: M.

Summary: When forced to flee their home with a small child in tow, Eska and Desna begin a journey of self-discovery.

Umbra Fandom: Avatar: The Last Airbender. Rating: M (Heed the tags; this story gets really dark in places.)

Summary: Four of Ozai's ladies during the Day of Black Sun, and how they got there.

Queen of Fire, King of Ice Fandom: Yugioh GX. Rating: T.

Summary: Inspired by Silvormoon's fanfic "Manjoume Family Vacation." Before setting off for Tempest Top, the brothers first must seek permission to go there from a mysterious queen. A series of misunderstandings ensues, and Manjoume becomes re-acquainted with the person he least expected (or wanted) to see.

The Properties of Love and Hate Fandom: Yugioh GX. Rating: M.

Summary: Amon looked amused at Ed’s continued silence. “If you desire my wife so badly, I have a little proposal for you. You can have her, on one condition…I get to claim you too.”

Volatile Elements Fandom: Yugioh GX. Rating: M.

Summary: Fifteen-year-old Taniya, the youngest of the Seven Stars, is planted at Duel Academia as a student by Kagemaru. But with a romantic relationship that’s perhaps not quite what she anticipated, a struggle with increasingly divided loyalties, and a cryptic prophecy, her hands are going to be full this year.

NOTE: Unfinished.

Maternal Instinct Fandom: Yugioh GX. Rating: E.

Summary: Taniya and Misawa celebrate their anniversary in their own special way.

(I'm also proud of my most recent fic, Subject One, but @soaringonblackwings already posted the link to that. Thanks so much for doing that, BTW!)

Other People's Fics:

WARNING: The first two fics are from the Harry Potter fandom. I am no longer a participant in this fandom and never wrote any fanfics for it myself, but there were some real gems and I, personally, want to still be able to enjoy them despite how JKR is a horrible person and ruined everything.

FINDING HIMSELF by Minisinoo. Rating: M.

Summary: The-Boy-Who-Almost-Died has to figure out what it means that he didn't. Harry's tumultuous 5th year at Hogwarts is Cedric's 7th and final. Bound together by shared trauma, both boys fall under Ministry suspicion ... Who is Cedric Diggory? Cedric!Lives AU

Recall Alice When She Was Just Small by Harmonic Friction. Rating: M.

Summary: Dudley Dursley: champion boxer, crass chav, cannibal?, bad boyfriend, good son, annoying cousin, best friend. It's hard to keep all the identities straight. Fin.

The Blood of Kings by @silvormoon. Fandom: Yugioh 5D’s. Rating: T.

Summary: Fantasy AU. Being king is hard work. Jack is doing his best to rule his war-torn kingdom while dealing with his upcoming marriage and the uprising of a mysterious cult. More than one person wants him dead, but only one is trying to kill him...

End of the World Series by FernWithy. Fandom: The Hunger Games. Rating: G-M.

NOTE: I don't care what the upcoming book/movie say; THIS is always going to be my canon!

We Must Be Killers: Tales from District 2 by lorata. Fandom: The Hunger Games. Rating: G-M.

Ozymandian by @frostbitepandaaaaa Fandom: Game of Thrones. Rating: E.

Summary:

She should have been more prudent, instead of falling into him like a spell. She should have handled this thing like the fatal tangle of thorns it was, instead of drinking the air from his lungs like the sweetest Arbor gold. She should have picked it up about the edges, holding it at arm’s length until she could find a safe enough place to rest it upon the earth and walk away forever.

(Chapters 1-5 are a collection of Missing Scenes from Season 7. Chapter 6 is when we begin our own journey into possibilities for Season 8)

NOTE: And speaking of me ignoring canon...

Changes by NerdyMama. Fandom: Pokemon Sword & Shield. Rating: E.

Summary: One night, one error of judgment. Now Leon and Sonia's friendship is set to change forever.

Ozula Kinktober by @azulas-daddy-kink Fandom: Avatar: The Last Airbender. Rating: E. (HEED THE TAGS!)

Summary:

Enjoy, you filthy perverts!

Going to try and complete all 31 days, but I'm not making any promises. Chapters are standalone unless otherwise specified, some will be modern AU or diverge from canon for convenience. R&R!<3

The Tainted Soil of the Fields of Arcadia by @inkblackorchid Fandom: Yugioh 5D's. Rating: T.

Summary: Following an eye-opening confrontation with Misty Tredwell, Aki decides she might have to face up to her past if she ever wants to be free of it. After approaching Mikage with a curious request, she ends up with the last remains of the Arcadia Movement--and starts digging.

Fanfic writers!

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[arraylameer]

🩸🏴‍☠️🐈‍⬛

*OUR FLAG MEANS DEATH SPOILERS

Ack!!! I finished it and that ending!!!!! I wasn’t upset about it… I was just… surprised? We all deal with breakups in many different ways I guess… eh actually I am a little upset how dare the creators!!!

Anyway let’s just focus on the highlights…

But I truly loved how every character in that show was so open and accepting! Being lgbtq wasn’t even seen as a difference! There was no discussion over Jim going by they/them pronouns their identity was just accepted without question! And when Steed’s “wife” asked if he loved someone and he said “yes his name is Ed” she just smiled and hugged him. There was no pause there was no- “wait a minute” there was simply just a “I’m happy for you”

And don’t get me started on Steed and Blackbeards relationship!!! There so sweet and wholesome!!! That kiss they shared made me squeal and giddy laugh! I was so devastated when Steed didn’t show up for their run away!!! Such a romance trope 😏

Blackbeard was just like yes let the intrusive thoughts take over. Dang was he depression extended to an extreme ten! Oooffff!!!

I watched a couple of videos about the director/writer who is also Blackbeard, talk about how, Our Flag Means Death is a love story between two pirates. And in my opinion it is very well done! It really did capture two people in love. We get to know the characters and who they are to each other, the way they care for each other, and ESPECIALLY the sacrifices they’d do just to be with each other. I did not expect this show to do this so well…

Within the first few episodes I saw their crew as found family. Steed left his life to find acceptance and happiness, with his true pirate self, an escape to a place of belonging. He gathered a crew who felt the same and they have each other. I love it!

I loved it!!! Three episodes will be released October fifth I hear! I can’t wait that long I’ll die!!!

Anyway I’m POSITIVE I’m not alone here! My thoughts and feelings are mine but I’m sure in many ways they overlap with the whole fan base in some way.

I just realized I had a voice on the internet where I can post thoughts without Twitter-I mean “X” in the way. I’ve never used twitter and I never plan to. But I like sharing my thoughts and feeling- even if no one cares or will even take the time to read them I just like the idea that people can.🥹

[survey--s]

528.

Ever had a promise ring? No.

Who knows your biggest secret(s)? Probably the people who read these surveys lol.

Do you ever get messages/asks on Tumblr? I don’t think I ever have but I used to get quite a few comments etc. back in the days where we all posted on Xanga.

When was the last time you waxed anything on your body, if ever? Never.

Do you like shrimp? Yeah, they’re one of my favourite types of seafood.

Are you lactose intolerant? I actually am but I can tolerate a little bit before it impacts me.

Have you ever thought a man over 40 was attractive? Sure, I mean, I’m 34 so 40 is hardly ancient lol.

Have you ever been told your aspirations are unrealistic? I don’t think so.

Who was the last person you sat beside at a restaurant? Susie.

Who is popular in your country? (Singers, actors etc.) I don’t really pay attention to that kind of thing.

What did you watch today? I’ve been watching Come Dine With Me since I got in from work.

Peaches or plums? Plums. I’m not a fan of the fuzzy skin on peaches but they do taste good.

Do you understand art? I have to be honest, I just don’t really care much about art.

Do/did your parents buy you a lot for Christmas? They did when I was younger, yeah. As I got older I didn’t necessarily get lots of stuff, but I did generally get good quality stuff that I asked for. Nowadays I just get money or experiences.

Out of all the cultures in the world, what culture do you find the most interesting? Japanese, as it’s just SO different to ours.

Do you like ramen noodles? I LOVE ramen as long as it’s not too spicy.

Who/what was that last thing that you slept with? The dog lol. He comes back to bed every morning for a cuddle when Mike goes to work.

Do your parents do things that "embarrass" you? Not so much now as an adult, but my dad just doesn’t care what anyone thinks and has zero filter lol. My mum was fine though.

What IM service do you use the most? Messenger or WhatsApp.

Who was the last person to IM you? My mum - she was just confirming our plans for Friday.

When you eat take-out, do you just eat it out of the containers provided? Generally, yes, but one specific case where I never do is when getting fried rice from Chinese places; I pour it into a bowl.

Would you need to sleep with someone before considering marrying them? Yes.

Do you carry condoms? No.

How organized are the files on your computer? I barely have anything to organise on here lol. I just download the photos for my posts on here.

Did you have a childhood hero? Were they real or fictional? No.

Would you consider dating a psychiatrist or psychologist? Sure, if I found them attractive and they were a good person.

For each person you’ve kissed, describe your feelings in one word: I’d be here forever LOL.

How do you react when you trip or stumble? This is a daily occurrence for me ha. I just deal with it?

Are you good at the game Twister? Nope. I’m not even remotely flexible.

Do your friends trust you around their bfs/gfs? Why would they need to trust me? Surely if their partners are decent people, it doesn’t matter what other people do?

Would you rather make the first move, or your crush? Either is fine.

If you have a camera, when do you use flash? Whenever I need to.

What would you do if you found a gun in your best friend’s bedroom? I’d be really freaked out as guns are very much illegal here.

What do you call your grandparents? My grandparents have all passed away.

What would be a cool earring design? I like ones that kind of go behind the earlobe and then the design hangs underneath, if that makes sense?

Besides nightmares, what is the scariest thing about sleeping? Being totally unaware of what’s going on around you.

Do you look better with red lipstick or black lipstick? Red.

Ever had a terrible breakup? Of course.

Favorite bands/artists? The Beatles, Jack’s Mannequin, Plain White T’s, Dolly Parton, The Chicks, Ed Sheeran.

Favorite quote? “Fairy tales are more than true: not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten.”

Wearing any bracelets? No, I hate bracelets lol.

Does your phone take pictures? Of course lol.

Who is your favorite neighbor? They’re all nice enough. The one I speak to most is called Chris and I look after her cat when she goes away lol.

Have you ever gotten a detention? No.

Does your door have a deadbolt on it? No.

Have you had any soda today? Yeah, a Canada Dry and a Pepsi Max.

What is your favorite scary movie? None of them really. I just don’t enjoy that kind of thing.

What’s the most historic thing that has happened in your lifetime? Covid, 9/11, the Iraq war, Obama being president, the war in Ukraine.

What happens in your country regularly that people in most countries would find strange or bizarre? I don’t know if there is anything, really? I can’t think of much that happens in the UK that’s particularly unusual lol.

What’s your funniest story involving a car? Nothing is coming to mind right now.

If you built a themed hotel, what would the theme be and what would the rooms look like? I have no idea, maybe seaside themed.

Do you think that humans will ever be able to live together in harmony? No.

What’s the most amazing true story you’ve heard? Nothing in particular is coming to mind at the moment.

What’s the grossest food that you just can’t get enough of? Haha, I have no idea.

What brand are you most loyal to? None really. I change my preferences all the time.

Where are you not welcome anymore? I don’t think there is anywhere.

What’s a common experience for many people that you’ve never experienced? Giving birth. Having children.

What fashion trend makes you cringe or laugh every time you see it? Crocs. They're just hideous to me. <---- same. I don’t care how comfortable they’re supposed to be, they’re just awful lol.

What are the initials of the last person you made out with? MF.

If you found out you were pregnant, who would be the first person to know? My husband, but that’s not gonna happen lol.

How old were you when you had your first kiss? Eleven.

Is it awkward when you run into your ex? It would be, but they all live at the opposite end of the country so, luckily, it’s not going to happen ha.

Were you intoxicated the last time you threw up? No. I had a horrendous bug.

Who is your most recent ex? His name is Chris.

Has the person you last kissed taken their shirt off in front of you? Yeah sure, we live together.

Have you ever broken anything because you were mad? Yeah.

Do you “blow kisses” often? At the animals yeah, lol.

Do you need to “break up” with a friend? Nope.

[darkfire359]

Izzy, Edward, and Names

After initially finishing the series, I remember concluding that Izzy was in love with Blackbeard, not Edward. That’s basically what Izzy said in his e10 speech, right? But after several rewatches (and a lot of fandom immersion), I’ve realized that’s not right at all.

Because as much as Izzy gives everyone else a hard time about using the name “Blackbeard”, he almost exclusively uses “Edward” when talking to the man himself. He even uses “Ed” occasionally. This is a BIG deal, for both of them!

From Ed’s side of this, we know that he used to use “Blackbeard” almost exclusively. As Calico Jack says, “Ed? Blackie I knew would have snapped your neck for calling him that.” This is coming from a man who not only saved Ed’s life, but used to be his lover. But Ed lets Izzy call him “Edward” in PUBLIC—which we know isn’t new, because Izzy isn’t adjusted to the new Ed at all.

From Izzy’s side of things, we know that he’s a very formal person, calling Lucius “Mr. Spriggs” and Wee John “Mr. Feeney.” He corrects the crew on Blackbeard’s title and on his own title. And notably, when he imitates Stede, it’s by saying, “Oooh Blackbeard, I love the way you dress, I love the way your hair, your beard, and all that.” Though of course he’s noticed Stede never calls Ed "Blackbeard,” because he’s yelled at Stede about it, and because he still calls Ed “Edward” while talking to Stede in the “plumb the depths” speech.

Essentially, it’s VERY important to Izzy that he is the only person to call Ed by his real name. He views it as a special, intimate privilege, because it WAS. And the fact that he uses that privilege, when he’s normally so focused on rank, means that he views his and Ed’s relationship as something more than just captain and first mate. 

We see that this attitude continues beyond the level of names. Izzy gives Ed the speech about needing to kill Stede in front of Fang and Ivan, but offers to do it himself when they’re alone (knowing about Blackbeard’s aversion to personal killing). When post-breakup Ed asks for Lucius, Izzy grudgingly brings him, but swears him to secrecy about Ed’s current state—before that, Izzy had very carefully made sure he was the only one to see Ed. 

So, how does Izzy feel when the disheveled, “Why are we even being pirates?” Ed ventures out to the crew and contradicts Izzy’s “His name is Blackbeard,” by saying that he wants everyone to call him Edward now? Really fucking betrayed. Maybe even worse than when Ed sides against him in the duel, because at least then Izzy could blame Stede for taking that special place in Ed’s heart. But if everyone calls Ed by name, and if everyone can see him at his low points, then that means that Izzy’s relationship is no longer special to Ed at all.

For all that Izzy was cruel in his speech, and for all that Ed felt like Izzy was abandoning the “Edward” part of him... Izzy must have felt that “Edward” abandoned him first. 

[capseycartwright]

kisses for a cover

“Oh, fuck.”

Buck looked at him, eyebrow raised. “Suddenly remembered you left the stove on?” he asked in a drawl, beer bottle held halfway to his lips. Going out had been Buck’s idea – unsurprisingly. He’d suggested they needed a night out to let loose and unwind, and Christopher was at a sleepover, anyway – “It’s between that, and sad takeout on your couch, Eds,” Buck had said, rolling his eyes when Eddie had voted in favour of sad takeout on the couch, and a crappy horror film.

It had been a good idea, really. They’d gone to a Japanese restaurant Buck had been dying to try, and they’d eaten way too much, and then stumbled to their favourite bar, settling in a corner booth and drinking and talking. Being friends with Buck had always been easy – easier than any other relationship in Eddie’s life had ever been. In their few hours at the bar, they’d cycled through just about every topic – work, Christopher, politics, and whether or not sharks would be as deadly if they could survive on land – and they still weren’t done. Eddie was never bored, not with Buck.

He’d even convinced Buck to dance, a little, his best friend gangly, and uncoordinated, flailing around the dancefloor like a drunk giraffe as Eddie tried to guide him into a few coherent steps, Buck’s hips refusing to move in time to any sort of rhythm.

Going out had been a good idea –

Until now.

“Ana Flores,” Eddie hissed, leaning close to Buck. He hadn’t seen Ana since he’d broken up with her, and she’d left him with a horrendous mess to deal with – more literal, than figurative, Buck barely holding back a sigh when he arrived to help with clean-up.

“Your ex?”

“What other Ana Flores do we know!” Eddie thumped Buck in the chest lightly.

“I mean, I know your relationship didn’t end on great terms – but it wasn’t that bad, was it?” Buck winced, clearly thinking of the way his own relationship with Taylor Kelly had crashed and burned, in the end. Turns out if you built a home on unstable foundations, it was always going to come crashing down – Buck had said that.

Eddie wasn’t sure he knew enough about building a home to disagree.

“No, but if she comes over here and I have to tell her that I’m single, eight months on from our breakup, and I haven’t even tried to date another person, she might think I’m hung up on her – and then I’ll probably end up marrying her, Buck, because you know me, I felt bad enough breaking up with her the first time, and –“

Oh.

Buck was kissing him.

Eddie couldn’t help the muffled yelp he made against Buck’s mouth, his best friend gently cupping the back of Eddie’s neck and keeping him close, as he kissed him. Buck – God, whatever problems he had in his relationship, kissing was not one of them. Eddie swore he could feel it in his toes, as Buck licked into the seam of Eddie’s mouth, kissing him long, and slow.

He pulled back, and before Eddie could say anything, he heard a familiar voice.

“I’m glad you two worked it out,” Ana said, her words sincere – but something sad, in her eyes, as though she’d expected this, expected to stumble across Eddie one day and find him in a relationship. Eddie didn’t have the mental capacity to unpack all that, there and then.

“Thanks,” Buck said, smooth in his recovery. “Enjoy your night!” he said, bright – but clearly dismissive, Eddie too stunned to do anything except nod in agreement, stuttering over a vaguely coherent sentence of thanks and hope you’re good.

Eddie looked at Buck, as Ana left, returning to her friends. “Buck,” he tried, unsure of how to broach the conversation now.

Buck’s face was perfectly neutral, not letting anything on. “How do you feel about tequila shots, Edmundo?”

send me a touch prompt

[cheemers-writing-archive]

Estrangement (Spike x FtM!Reader)

Cw for gender dysphoria and breakups. Enjoy!

Three weeks. That’s how long it had been since Spike found out Julia was alive and cut ties with you. You’ve averted your gaze whenever Spike comes through the door, avoided the rooms he uses the most, and even stopped eating with the rest of the group, for three whole weeks.

The breakup itself wasn’t even the worst part. The worst part was that you were the only man Spike had ever fallen for, and although he constantly reassured you that he saw you as a man, there was a twinge of dysphoria that flooded over once you two were over. As soon as he could, he went back to his girlier ex, your inner thoughts told you. I was just the girliest he could find at the moment.

“You don’t look so good,” Faye said. She had snuck up behind you sulking on the couch and placed her elbows on your shoulders. “Still thinking about Spike?”

You slowly nodded, still facing away.

Faye chuckled. “I know you know that he’s a good-for-nothing flirt, but I understand it still hurts. Lucky for you, everyone else in this ship has the emotional intelligence to actually help you. Besides Ed, of course.”

You nodded your head again.

“That means you can tell me anything, and I can give you great advice on how to deal with it!” Faye leapt over the back of the couch, then cast an arm over your shoulder as she sat next to you. “Come on, I’ve dealt with an ex who betrayed me, too. We’re in the same boat here.”

“Leave him alone, Faye,” Jet said as he entered through the door in front of you. “If he doesn’t want to talk, then he doesn’t have to.”

Faye grunted, but rose from her seat.

“Anyway, dinner is ready, so go eat up.” Jet pointed behind him, and Faye started walking that way. You pulled yourself up from the couch and started trudging along behind your teammates, when Jet slowed down to whisper something to you.

“You know, I’ve seen Spike show interest in guys before.” he said. You turned to look at him. “I know you’re probably feeling a little insecure about being his first boyfriend, but just because he hasn’t ever gotten serious with a dude before you doesn’t mean that he hasn’t felt something looking at a man before.”

You nodded. “Thanks,” was all that could really come out.

“One more thing. That Julia… she’s more of an addiction than a lover to Spike. If he can leave Julia behind, that shows that he’s really left his past life behind, as well. But you and I both know better than to believe that could happen.”

Jet’s comment let out the first hint of a laugh from you in a while.

“Look, don’t feel too bad. What Faye said is kind of right. He is a good-for-nothing flirt, who just so happens to be relapsing. It’s not your job to fix him, nor is it your job to be there for him. You just have to do what’s best for you.”

With a little more confidence, you looked up to Jet, then smiled the slightest bit. “Okay.”

Jet responded with a smile twice as big, then ruffled your hair. “Just take your time,” he chuckled. “You don’t have to rush getting better.”

Just as you were about to turn into the kitchen, you heard someone else teetering into the hallway. Looking back, you saw none other than Spike, covered with blood, sweat, and tears. Before the two of you made eye contact, you looked away, and continued walking.

“Julia’s dead,” was all he said.

You stopped, and stayed silent for a short moment. “What does that have to do with me?” you asked. “She’s your girlfriend, isn’t she?” You bit your tongue before you blurted out, Well, she was your girlfriend.

Spike sighed. “I want you back.”

Before you could stop yourself, you laughed, and turned your head towards him. “Are you kidding? After you dumped me for an ex of yours? Hell no.”

“Look, I know I shouldn’t have done that,” he continued. “And I know that I don’t deserve you back, either.”

“Damn right, you don’t.”

“But what I’m trying to say is… I’ll do better this time, I promise. I should’ve seen earlier that you grounded me. Kept me not just alive, but sane. For the past few years, I’ve been living in a dream that I never wake up from, but you finally started waking me up. You don’t have to say yes, and I won’t blame you if you don’t, but please… just one more chance.”

The room was silent for a good few seconds, before Jet announced he was going to call Ed in for dinner and Faye said she would go with him. That left just you and Spike.

Jet’s words echoed in your mind. Julia is more of an addiction than a lover to Spike, but it’s not your job to fix him.

Well, what do you want me to do, Jet? you yelled at the voice in your head. Forgive him for abandoning me or not?

You just have to do what’s best for you.

Those words cleared everything up for you. Jet wasn’t trying to sway me one way or another, you told yourself. He wanted me to choose for myself.

You looked back up at Spike, tears falling down your eyes. “I’m not ready,” you finally said. “Part of me wants to just leap back into your arms, but the other part of me wants to slap you and run away crying. I just need some time to sort out what I need at the moment.”

Spike sighed. “I had a feeling you’d say that.” He walked forward, but slipped right past you. “Well, let’s not waste any more time bickering about something that won’t get solved right now. I’m starving.”

As Spike grabbed a plate, you continued to just stand there, taking in the moment. After a while, you let out a laugh and turned back to the food. “Yeah, you’re right,” you said, a smile beaming on your face. “Let’s get some grub!”

[cononeillbreastingboobily]

If Lucius is the heart, Izzy is the brain

There's been multiple takes about how Lucius is the heart of the crew of the Revenge. Now, I started thinking, what other organs different characters could be, symbolically. This post focuses on Lucius and Izzy, and how they compliment each other, both as people, and as parts of the story.

Things could change drastically when the next seasons of the show arrive.

Lucius: the heart

Let's get the easiest one out of the way: Lucius is the heart of the Revenge, and of the story as well in some regard. He mostly deals with feelings, relationships (I'm fantastic at breakups) and art (Have you ever been sketched?). His main function on the ship for most of season 1 is recording what the crew gets up to in a journal that managed to save Stede's skin in episode 9. Recording memories, whether it's by writing diaries, taking photos, scrapbooking etc. has an air of sentimentality to it, so that further proves that he's definitely the heart of the story.

He's also extremely well-versed in the matters of emotions - he's able to read someone with stunning accuracy, learning what makes them tick. And he doesn't necessarily resort to manipulation to get what he wants! Okay, sometimes he does (Has anyone ever told you you have stunning cheekbones?) but when it comes down to it, he's genuinely nice, kind and protective of those he holds dear. He's trustworthy, and he uses that trust for good: helping others when they're in need. He's quite hedonistic and self-serving at times, avoiding hard work like the plague, but he always has other people in mind - he's the one who retrieved Jim's dagger, called out Ed for not appreciating Stede (that bizarre little man likes you very much) and finally, he's the one who whipped out the journal Stede had him write at just the right moment, and read just the right passage from it, which, combined with an intervention from Oluwande, culminated in Stede being pronounced a real pirate captain, and avoiding being executed by the firing squad.

Izzy: the brain

I'm not sure if you'd agree with me or not, but this made more and more sense to me the more I thought about it. He's juxtaposed with Lucius many times over, and that alone can really make you think, can't it? He can be cold, manipulative, calculating. He's task-oriented (Edward, focus) and seems to be disconnected from his emotions a lot of the time. When Ed can't bring himself to kill Stede, he immediately offers to do it for him. We know that back in the day, Izzy would do the killing back when Blackbeard was active, as Ed says the only person he's ever killed was his father (whether that's true is debatable in my opinion, buuut). So, for anyone else killing another person would be something horrible to do, the absolutely last resort that would leave them traumatized, right? For Izzy it's just another Friday.

He's incredibly driven and doesn't do well with obstacles in his way. Stede, and the entire crew of the Revenge, is one big obstacle for him - it's keeping Blackbeard from re-emerging, so they could go back to what he considers the "good old days" of maiming, looting and killing, back when he was at the side of his fearsome, legendary captain.

I think that putting these two together, while also opposite each other, works incredibly well for one big reason: just like the heart and the brain in the human body, the story needs both of them to truly work and be in balance. I mean, listen - the moment Lucius was off the ship, Ed went back to his Blackbeard persona, even though it doesn't really fit him anymore. It wasn't when Ed came back without Stede. It was when he threw Lucius overboard that things truly went to shit. And before Blackbeard and his three companions came onto the Revenge? The story was a silly comedy about a guy who tries and fails very hard to be a proper pirate captain. And while that definitely has its charm, there's no doubt that with Izzy around we got some real piracy on our hands.

Though they seem like two very opposing forces, I think there's actually sooo much more at play, that could happen in the future iterations of the story. I think if we got to know more about Izzy, we would learn things that could prove, that he and Lucius are a lot more similar than he would like.

All of that is to say, I think that if we want Ed and Stede to get back together, it won't happen unless Lucius comes back. I think that even if Ed and Stede do meet at some point in season 2, they will have trouble seeing eye to eye until Lucius is there, whether to actually intervene or just to be around, really. Only then will the story regain balance. It needs both Izzy and Lucius. Too much of just one won't do them any good. They need to work together, and whether they will realise that is an entirely different thing.

[eunoiaflow3r]

not ur friend

spencer reid x reader

aaron hotchner x reader

part two - part three -

a/n: haven’t written for spence in a while lol. hope you guys like it. wow...and i wrote him as an ass. bahahaha what am i going through i’m so sorry.

warning(s): language. angst. not proofread. will be mistakes.

word count: 1.8k

request(ed): no.

summary: y/n overhears something she shouldn’t have. this conversation alters her relationship.

not ur friend by jeremy zucker.

———————-——————&————————————

Hang up, if you ever think of calling me up. Not afraid to say it, darling.

3 days.

It’s been an entire weekend of you ignoring Spencer and his ever intruding phone calls. This wouldn’t have been a big deal except for the fact that this felt like a breakup. Your head and heart was treating this like you were in a relationship and he made it painfully clear that you weren’t.

It was quiet in your apartment. The television was off, the radio was silent, the heater had paused and even the refrigerator wasn’t making the usual silent buzz noise it made. The deafness of it all allowed the conversation you heard friday night play over and over again through your ached head.

Friday 11:37 pm.

“So Reid...” you picked up your phone when it rang and read Spencer’s name across the screen. It wasn’t like him to call so late but you picked up anyway. When it was a muffled Morgan’s voice you heard instead of Spencer’s you realized he hadn’t even meant to call you at all.

“How’s your girlfriend?”

You just knew all eyes were on him. Spencer Reid was very private about his social life. It was rare he even told you about anything he’d been up to. He just wasn’t one for small talk. The fact that you just knew they were talking about you made you press your phone harder into your ear even though you weren’t even sure you should have been listening.

“Oh y/n? Yeah she’s definitely not my girlfriend.”

This stung. There wasn’t even a label or anything that you guys put on it, but usually when Spencer would talk about his romantic relationships he’d get nervous and stuttery and try to change the subject. Spencer’s voice was clear and steady. Zero hints of nervousness and bashfulness. He was serious.

“Really?” This was Emily now, you could recognize her voice. “You guys seem like pretty close friends if you know what I mean.” Her tone was laced with humor but Spencer’s was far from joking.

“No. I wouldn’t call us friends either. She’s just someone I visit. Like y’know...how you would a grandmother.”

A grandmother? He compared you to a grandmother? He said visiting you was like visiting a grandmother?? You could feel the tears in your eyes. You really thought Spencer was a good guy. Why would he say something so rude? Something so hurtful about the person he was sleeping with.

It wasn’t a friends with benefits. You guys had agreed on that, but you weren’t dating either. You had met him at a museum and ever since then you two had behaved as if a couple would. The only difference was that you weren’t public. You weren’t posting pictures, or gushing over how cute you thought your “boyfriend” was to your friends. And you were fine with that. Labels are constricting. You were glad not to have them except when he decided to say he barely knew you at all and compared you to a grandmother.

“Damn.” Morgan sounded impressed. “Does she know that?”

“Maybe.” Spencer paused. “There’s nothing really romantic about our relationship. To be honest, she can be a bit needy at times and it’s suffocating.”

He paused again.

“I’m actually thinking of breaking things off. She wants more and I just don’t like her that way.”

Sorry, I'm not sorry if it hurts. I don’t mean to make it worse.

This is where you hung up. Your tears never stopped flowing. How dare he? How dare he say you were needy and suffocating? You rarely asked him for anything, and didn’t bother him with things at all. You knew he was a busy person. A busy and hardworking person. You never tried to ask him for more than he was willing to give. Ever. It hurt your heart to think he was playing you the whole time.

It hurt to think that all the “I adore you’s” and “I think I’m in love with you’s” were all fake. You were pretty sure with the way things were headed that you and Spencer would have much more than just a relationship. Much more than sex and cuddles. But a meaning - an understanding.

Spencer was your comfort. Your safe place. The person you’d go to if you were hurting, or in trouble. You were his. Countless times he came to your house and cried to you about the stress from his job. He’d hold you and tell you all about his day and what more he wished he could have done.

You’d buy him his favorite food and he’d cuddle you to sleep only to wake you up in the morning with kisses and great morning sex. To hear all of that meant basically nothing to him tore your heart to pieces.

It made you want to throw up. Had you wasted your time? Had he felt this way the entire time and you just never noticed because you hoped he felt the same? Were there signs that you missed? Something you could have done to prevent yourself from falling this hard for someone who didn’t care?

But you thought he cared.

Spencer was the most caring, empathetic person you’d ever met in your life. He was so understanding in a way no one could ever get.

I've decided that I'm not your fucking friend.

This is why you thought that maybe this is why he tried to hide you. Maybe he just was afraid of his friends not liking you, or afraid of someone from where he worked would try to hurt you. You prayed this was the case. You hoped and cried that this was the reason he’d ever let those words leave his mouth.

The reason you couldn’t believe this though is something understandable.

He had never, ever, called you anything other than his friend, and never wanted to go out.

He told you it was because he was protecting you, but he never wanted to even meet your friends. And when you talked about a guy or introduced him to one, he’d get upset and say something like, “Yeah well he seems perfect for you anyway. Not like we’re a thing - do what you want.”

And your brain tried to rationalize this as protection. The more you thought about it the more the other part of your brain screamed manipulation. You tried to ignore it but is that what was happening? Had he been manipulating you the entire time and you just never knew it?

If he was protecting you he wouldn’t call you needy. He wouldn’t not even bother to look at your friends. He wouldn’t feel the need to hide you from the entire world and lie about it in such a - douchebag way.

This hurt you though. His team can call out a liar faster than anyone and they would have said something if they thought he was lying. They would have defended you. The wouldn’t have egged him away and joked about you like you were some embarrassing one night stand.

You expected respect and decency and got dishonesty and asshole attitudes instead.

After the weekend of pitying yourself you realized you needed to stop. This wasn’t your fault. He has issues of his own. Issues he needs to work out and come to terms with on his own. Why should you feel anything for a man trying to hide you? Lying to you? Lying to his friends ABOUT you. Reassuring yourself helped but didn’t help the ache in your heart.

Were you ready for this? Were you ready to throw it all away? After all it could just be a misunderstanding. A misinterpretation. It could be your fault. Maybe you were clingy.

No.

No. Absolutely not. You weren’t going to try to defend his actions.

Right now, there's not much that we agree on. Sit down, if you need someone to lean on.

You called him.

“Hello?” he answered right away. “Where have you been are you okay? I was gonna come over and check.”

“Don’t come over.” You cleared your throat and blinked away tears.

“Then please come to mine. I have to talk to you, I missed you.”

He still has no idea. He doesn’t have a clue what you overheard on the phone. All the pieces of the puzzle you put together. All that you’ve realized in the past 3 days.

You rolled your eyes. Any other day you’d think his obliviousness was adorable but right now it only made you want to punch him in his stomach for lying to you and wasting your time.

“I’ll be over to give you your things.”

And you hung up.

That was so hard for you to do and you had hot wet tears running down your face to prove it. No matter how many times you tried to brush them away they just kept on going down.

Fuck him.

A shower and a change of clothes later you were finally ready to see him.

Honest, if I'm coming to your place, it's to say it to your face...

In your car you tried to talk yourself out of it. You told yourself to just forget the phone call over happened and just go back to the way things were. At least you here happy then...at least...sort of. You were okay. You were happy with him. The time you spent with him was enjoyable but you were tired of being his therapist. You were tired of being his dirty mistress. You didn’t want to be lied to or lied about. You were over it.

When you got there he rushed you in the house and looked down at you confusingly.

You had never been inside his place. The only time you were ever really here was when you were inside waiting in the car so that he could change his shirt.

“I thought you were coming tomorrow?”

“I came now to give you your things.”

“JJ will be here soon, you should probably leave. Why did you bring this stuff?”

“They’re yours. They shouldn’t be at my place.”

He looked confused but took the box from your hands anyway.

“I’m leaving.” You simply said and turned towards the door. The sooner you were out the better.

“Can I at least have a kiss?” Spencer asked in the cute voice he knew you liked.

You closed your eyes. “Sorry Reid, but no. I don’t want to seem needy or suffocating, ya’know? Makes it easier to break things off.”

Color drained from his face as he realized what you were talking about. He couldn’t even come up with an excuse other than a - “No, baby I -“

You put your palm in the air facing him telling him to stop.

“It’s okay. I was just someone you visited...like a grandmother. You shouldn’t miss me too much. We’re not even friends, right?”

You walked out of the house.

You walked out on him. Your heart was beating out of your chest. He was always the one to leave. He was always the one to say goodbye.

I've decided that I'm not your fucking friend.

—————————————-#————————————

taglist: @hotchsbabygirl @pinkdiamond1016 @thefemalestorywriter @sizzlingclamturtlesludge @samyilf123

[moonstonediaz]

buddie: a natural progression

i’ll start this out by saying i am not worried about future of buddie. i’m not 100% certain the story will take us to full canon buddie, but i am about 80% sure—which is plenty for me! okay, onward.

the show has already raised the question “why is eddie with ana?” they’ve put this to the forefront of our minds by having carla bring it up with eddie in 4x13, and the fact that eddie hasn’t directly addressed it yet in the show tells us that something is coming. likely a breakup. but will eddie initiate this? i think it’s important that he does, that he makes that choice for himself and not have it made for him by ana leaving.

tim has said that he “doesn’t know” what the fate of the eddieana relationship is and, well, that tells me all i need to know right there. given that they’ve done all but remove her completely, i think it’s pretty safe to say a breakup is coming. but when? in between seasons? early season 5? we’ll have to wait and see for that, but i’m pretty positive that’s coming soon.

back to what tim said, he “doesn’t know” the fate of their relationship and he “doesn’t want to define” buck and eddie’s relationship yet…what else is that supposed to mean? how else are we supposed to read that? what—do they expect us to think that eddie just hasn’t found the right one yet? that he doesn’t already have everything right under his nose—a best friend, a partner, someone he can count on to have both his and christopher’s best interests at heart, a family? are we supposed to think that they’re going to introduce another rando next season for him to pursue yet another relationship that’ll feel forced? that he’ll put another person in chris’ life that could leave again? i’m gonna say it’s highly UNLIKELY.

eddieana has been cringe from the start. their whole relationship feels forced and awkward to me. (re: awkward breakfast date, creepy math date and the no-kiss, weird cheek kiss at the homecoming party, etc.) (not to mention, ana’s been little more than blurrywife at this point, amirite?) and i know it’s probably structured this way so buck and eddie could have that talk in the hospital, but if my boyfriend had been shot and was being discharged from the hospital, you can bet your ass i’m there to take him home 👀 … not to mention eddie doesn’t trust ana. his immediate reaction was to bristle and get defensive when he thought she was snooping around on that kid and his mom in 4x13. one of their very first interactions was a negative one with the skateboard incident. and we all know who came through to make it all better for christopher. eddie might find it easy and nice being with her, but he doesn’t trust her. that’s not a good foundation for a long-term relationship.

speaking of foundations…bucktaylor had a good foundation for friendship, and maybe even a potential relationship in the future, but the second that kiss happened and she ran—from a man who has a history of abandonment issues—foundation crumbled. she then came back and made the comment about buck not chasing after her when his literal best friend partner was posted up in the hospital unconscious after getting shot right in front of him. that made ME bristle.….girl. and i know i don’t need to mention it, but the second she left after kissing him and eddie wakes up? i see you, eds 👀. bucktaylor could have been natural if taylor hadn’t used buck’s vulnerability to her advantage in 4x14. imo, the show really screwed up an awesome blossoming friendship. instead of being what buck needed in that moment—a friend to lean on while dealing with yet another trauma—they forced a romantic arc between the two instead of letting it happen naturally.

you know what makes the most sense, narratively? buck and eddie gradually shifting from best friends to romantic partners. because, honestly, when i call them ‘best friends’, it doesn’t feel like enough. those words are less than the magnitude of their relationship. when i think of 9-1-1 and best friends, the pairs that come to mind are chimney and hen, bobby and michael, hen and athena. i don’t think of buck and eddie because they’re not just best friends. they’re more than that. they always have been.

the way i see it, eddie making buck legal guardian over christopher was the most natural next step for their relationship. it wasn’t shocking at all, it made sense. their foundation is solid. the only thing that surprised me was the fact that eddie’s been sitting on this information for a year. SIR.

there’s no one eddie trusts more to have his and christopher’s backs than buck. there’s no one buck trusts more to fight for him and his self-worth than eddie. and he’s just now beginning to realize this. they’re partners. they’re a unit. they’re a family.

it’s natural.

[shhhlikeme]

“Losty Aone” / “Losty Mountain Man🏔” Series:

Outtake Collection #18.5:

———————————

A/N: I know y’all wanna know what happens here sooo I’ll meet you down at the end with more of my authors notes!

TABLE OF CONTENTS

———————————

EARLIER THAT NIGHT - 10:36 PM - ISSA MESS AT THE MOVIES - PART 2 😭🤡

“Hey. You sure you don’t want us to go with you? I can cancel with my parents and—“

You interrupted your friend, waving her off nonchalantly as you jumped out of the back her car. “No, no, Kusa. Thank you for driving me. You guys didn’t need to! But I really appreciate it. I need this time by myself to just…. You know…. Breathe.” 

Kusa frowned at you, still look unsure as to whether she should leave you alone at the theatre or not. Going to the movies alone is a little weird in her opinion, and she knows that you have still been so heartbroken from your breakup, so the fact that Aone had been asked out by one of the girls on the Date Teko cheer team that you considered a friend really hit you hard. 

Despite it all, she and Katana have agreed to let you deal with this the way you see fit, because forcing their desires on you wasn’t the right way to go, and the last time they tried that you cut them off for a week. They had to tread very carefully, as friends. 

“Okay, babe. Call us when you want to get picked up, Okay? We don’t mind.”

You nodded, wrapping your favourite jacket around you a bit more tightly. The sweater-jacket that actually belonged to the man you were in love with. “Thank you.” 

Shutting the door, you stepped back so that Kusa could drive away. 

Katana, who was sitting in the passengers seat, pressed the button to roll up her window and You gave them one last wave, ready to see them off, but just before you could Katana—quiet and deep in thought, pressed the same button to roll the window back down. The car didn’t budge.

“Y/N.” The pretty cheer captain said in a small voice, staring at her lap. You had to lean in to hear her.  

“Hm?”

Big brown eyes looked into yours as your bestie stared at you. It was silent for a moment and the intensity in the air was palpable. Finally, the brunette spoke. 

“I’m worried about you.” She finished, looking more serious than you’ve ever seen her. 

Earlier this Saturday night, you found yourself crying in the shower after you heard that an ex teammate of yours, Sutairu, is interested and has decided to pursue Aone. 

This girl was gorgeous, sweet, and has noticed your Mountain Man from day one, unlike you. There is not one bad thing you can say about her, and you were sure that eventually—especially with Futakuchi’s help—Aone would some day let his walls down for her. One day you would see the most perfect man in the world with another girl because you let him. 

And even though it’s what he deserves: a girl that is better than you, the thought alone shatters you every time it crosses your mind. 

Aone was on this girls instagram story,—a photo of him in another hoodie standing in front of the students he teaches with a caption saying: MCM🤫💋❄️

What did that mean? Could they be dating now? 

Enough was enough. After crying in your shower, You decided you needed a change in scenery, so you got dressed, only putting on concealer and keeping the natural state of your hair when it’s wet. You threw on a huge cardigan, a tank top and some jeans and told the girls what you had planned. Kusa wouldn’t take no for answer, so they insisted on dropping to you at the theatre to see this action-thriller you found on the website. 

So here you are, heart dragging behind you on the floor. You needed to be alone and you needed a change of scenery, that’s all you knew. So now hearing your besties and seeing the absolute fear for your well-being evident on their faces, made your stomach turn even more. Mainly because you couldn’t help them help you. No one can. So that’s why all you answered was, 

“I’m worried too.” Staring into the eyes of the two beautiful females you call your best friends. You then Added, “But I need this hour, okay?. I’ll see you guys later. I have my phone.” Without waiting for a response, you spun away from the car to walk into the large building downtown, straight to the bathroom so you could cry in the stalls prior to the movie.

After you spent a good 10 minutes using toilet paper to wipe under your eyes, then reapplying some conveniently packed concealer there in the mirror, you stuffed the Fenty Beauty case in your purse and walked out of the bathroom so that you can purchase your ticket at the self-serve automated machine. You had grabbed your ticket when it slid out the slot and were began walking to your designated theatre when you heard a familiar voice call out to you. 

“Hey! Y/N?”

Turning toward the voice, you looked over to see a group of 4 boys, all of which you’ve seen before, but in volleyball practice gear. While they were all staring over at you, naturally—your eyes settled on the one in the middle that you recognized the most. And the one who called your name. 

“Takeru,” You breathed, honestly relieved that it wasnt someone from school that you had to pretend you wanted to speak to. Takeru is someone you genuinely liked, that you actually got close to at the Volleyball/Cheer Camp last summer. 

“One sec!” He called, and you stood there waiting as Nakashima handed his card to his friends that were waiting at the ticket kiosk. One of them must have said something annoying to him, because Takeru blushed and told him to shut the fuck up. Feeling scrutinized by his friends, you wrapped your arms around your torso as he stealthily limbo-ed under the rope that divided the line from from the rest of the theatre. 

***

“Ouuu dudes, look. That’s Takanobu’s super hot girlfriend that you fell in love with last summer! This is your second chance bro, don’t fuck it up!” Takeru’s friend nudged him with his elbow and teased him from where he was standing in line. The other boys chuckled when he said that. 

Takeru went red—mostly because he knew it was true. “Shut the fuck up, I’m over her!” He defended himself. He resisted the urge to hit his friend for saying that out loud. Getting out the line because he couldn’t risk his dumb friends exposing his past crush like they almost did multiple times last summer, Nakashima escaped the line to approach you, finding himself jogging over, instead of walking. 

🤨

SLOW DOWN, Takeru told himself. ARE YOU REALLY THAT EXCITED TO SEE HER?

“Hi, Y/N!” The ex-high school volleyball player greeted you with a warm smile that neither of you had any idea was reserved for only you. “It’s been a while.” 

You forced a smile back, but you could see by the way that his own smile faltered that Takeru noticed your smile didn’t reach your eyes. “You okay?” He asked, concerned. 

Lying, you nodded, looking down at your boots and Nakashima resisted the urge to reach forward and tilt your head up. To touch your beautiful skin like he’s wanted to do since the first day you approached him for help, he really thought those emotions had fled… but being around you again made him realize that obvioulsy they hadn’t. 

She’s taken, idiot. The athlete reminded himself. 

“Is Takanobu here?” Nakashima thought to ask, distinctly remembering how much just mentioning his name would bring a big smile to your face back at camp, lighting it up in its entirety. 

So imagine Takeru shock, however, when you winced at the sound of his name instead of beamed. Still staring at your boots, you shook your head. “No, I’m here alone.” 

Alone?

Ask. He told himself. ASK!

“Um-ummm—“ is all he could stutter out.

S m o o t h, idiot. he chastised himself for being so lame. 

“Please, Takeru-san,” you lifted your head to look up at the man you considered to be a pretty good friend. “Don’t.” 

Even though his mind was buzzing with a million questions, Being the smart volleyball player he is, Takeru shut his mouth because the tears welling up in your eyes was enough of an answer than any. His heart sunk seeing you look so unbelievably broken. Without missing a beat, He switched gears. “—What movie are you seeing?” He asked instead. 

You grinned weakly but gratefully at his change in topic, a smile that actually did reach your eyes. “Uh, I don’t even know,” you chuckled pathetically. “I just picked any random movie, um, because, yeah.” 

She’s so cute, thought Nakashima. “Well it’s written on your ticket. Shall we see?” 

“Oh, uh, right.” Feeling dumb, you lifted the ticket in your hand and read the movie title aloud,

 “Jet Down 2.” 

A large amused smile graced Takeru’s face. “Really—that is probably the biggest ‘guy’ movie ever made,”

You nodded, not wanting to mention that hearing the title made you remember that your ex loved the original of this movie. Your nod introduced Takeru and yourself to an awkward silence. You weren’t about to tell him that you picked a movie that you’d be the least interested in so that you can cry in peace because the sounds of shit blowing up will drown out your sobs, no ma’am. If this was any other time, you would have been so happy to see and catch up with this boy. Asking a million questions and telling him how happy you were to see him. But unfortunately, all you could think about was the “MCM” Snapchat you saw earlier. You were devastated, and Takeru caught on to it.... seeing you about to shatter, yet again. He offered his help. 

“Want some company? Uh—“

You immediately shook your head. “No, Takeru-san! You came here with your friends. Enjoy that. Don’t mind me, I....“

Nakashima stared down at you like you were a work of art. When you stopped your pathetic babbling, he nodded slowly, recognizing the same expressions he’s seen his sister’s wear when they were on the verge of crying over a boy. Right before they yelled him to leave their room, leave them alone, and shut the door. The same rule probably applied here. Like an expert, Nakashima backed off. “Okay,” he continued nodding. “I guess I’ll go then. It was really nice seeing you.” He opened his arms and you leaned in for a chaste hug, immediately wishing the male arms around you belonged to a certain white haired volleyball player instead. 

Takeru, on the other hand, didn’t realize how much he missed the feel of you in his arms again. He didn’t want to let go. He wished that the feelings you had for Aone-san were for him. Stupid.

Uncharacteristically, Nakashima turned his head to whisper something in your ear before you let go. Before he never saw you again. “But, tonight, if you need a shoulder to cry on, I’m just one theatre over… Okay? I have a pretty comfortable shoulder, so just text me.” 

Holding back tears, you nodded, removing yourself to make your way to the bathroom again. 

***

Better late than never, you thought to yourself as you sadly sat in your seat in the theatre solo, unsure of how much time has even passed. You didn’t realize this stupid movie would be so packed, but you were thankful for assigned seating (since you specifically chose an aisle seat in case you needed to make another fast-cry escape). You just sat in your seat, curling into a ball and trying to hold it together the best you can.

You couldn’t.

Another 10-minutes later, you found yourself ugly crying in your three-quarter eaten popcorn, completely drenching the salty snack and making it soggy. 

A MESS, you called yourself. This movie was about guns and cars and shit blowing up—but all it took was one tiny little subplot romance scene to break you. LIKE I SAID: A MESS. 

One little stupid ‘be safe’ scene and you were thinking about the time you went to the movies with your ex boyfriend and current love of your life. That time, you had insisted on watching this scary movie but you were getting so unbelievably scared, refusing to leave when your boyfriend offered because you are strong af, so when you resorted to hiding yourself behind his bicep and whimpering instead. Takanobu had enough when he heard you make those sad noises, so he scooped you up from your seat so that you were sitting in his lap. That way, you felt his strong arms around you on boy sides and you were easily able to bury your face in his chest or finish the movie. You finished the movie.🥰

 You would like to say that that was one of the sweetest things that has ever happened to you, but what with being in a relationship with Aone Takanobu for the past year—that absolutely tooth rottenly sweet gesture wouldn’t even crack the Top 10. 

Your tears poured down your cheeks, and you imperceptibly wiped your tears on the sweater of his that you were wearing. Then you realized whose sweater it was and cried even harder! Your heart hurt so much. 

And to make matters worse, you ran out of tissues. 

Knowing that with your luck you’d run into someone you knew if you left now with a completely drenched face. A/N: or turned around :/desperate and sad, you decided to text your friend Takeru about your dilemma. All you asked him for were some tissues because he sort of knew what you were going through even though you didn’t spell it out for him. You hoped he could help for now and then later tonight you’d send him back the money he spent on his movie or something. You kept erasing the message but decided to send it when others in your row were possibly on to the fact that you were sniffling so much for more serious reasons. 

You sent it. Received a response within seconds saying he was on his way. 

Nakashima stumbled in to your the theatre not long after. You waved to him where you were seated in the dark, and he came over like a good friend, giving you a brand new popcorn and a set of tissues. You smiled weakly at the kind gesture and remembered that Aone is the entire reason why this boy Takeru is even here right now. Your tears re-established themselves as your date on this your solo movie night as you leaned your head on Nakashima’s shoulder, who told you that if Aone broke up with you he was an idiot. 

“I’m the idiot,” You whispered to him, because even if it was just a fleeting thought—Aone didn’t deserve any blame. Ever. He is undoubtedly the best person on this planet. “It’s me,” You whispered again, glad that your whiney voice was no match for the volume of the explosions on screen. You blew your nose in a tissue and resumed your position on Takeru’s shoulder. The gesture was platonic enough, but you realized then and there that there was only one shoulder you felt comfortable leaning on, whether it was friendly or not. You sat back up in your seat and met the gaze of a concerned volleyball player.  

“Takeru, I’m so sorry. Can you bring me home—“ the request died on your tongue as you witnessed, or at least you think you did— a dark blur of a a large body with…silver? No, white hair racing down the stairs as if he’d been pushed down them. The figure turned on its heels and fled the theatre in a faster speed than should be possible for a body so large. 

The oddness stopped you in your tracks for a second.

Why did that person-?

You were confused, until a waft of fresh mountainous breeze hit your nostrils, making you gasp. It was The best scent in the world. The scent that was vaguely imbedded in the sweater you were wearing. The scent that belonged to—oh God. You choked on your tears.

“Was that…..?” Your tear stained face scrunched together, trying to piece two-and-two together as your losty brain overworked itself. 

“What were you going to say? You want a drive home?” You could faintly hear Nakashima’s question even though he was right beside you. You were too busy thinking about how that couldn’t have been Aone who stormed out of here, would he choose this movie—oh my—

Lightbulb turning on, you whipped your entire upper body around and searched the seats for someone recognizable. While your scanning stopped momentarily on a few students from school, they ultimately swam to the person or persons you were looking for: There! Kenji-san and Koganagewa-san, two males who were looking at you and Takeru as if you two were the villains in the movie that just popped out of the screen. 

So that WAS Aone!

Why didn’t he come say hi?! 

Your heart started racing. Because you loved him. 

But if that was Aone..... 

Then why did he leave in such a hurry like that…?

And why were his friends looking at you and Nakashima like we…..?

Hold on. 

Your eyes take a mind of their own, whipping from Futakuchi, to Kanji, to Takeru, to Takeru’s shoulder that you ere just laying on, back to the vacant seat where Aone must have been sitting in the between his two friends, and then you looked down at your sweater—his sweater. You thought back to Aone’s shattered expression when you broke up with him by the Ferris wheel and then you saw your own brisk walk from that night redone in his body in the way he just left this theatre blur.

Oh no, You thought. Did this look like a…? With Takeru…?!

OH GOD NO. 

Your heart dropped like one of those rides at the amusement park: 

“Y/N. Are you okay? You look like you’re going to be sick! I can bring you home if you— Y/N? Y/N WAIT LET ME GET MY KEYS—!“ 

You were already gone, leaving your purse, wallet, phone and everything behind—not having to jump over anyones legs to run down the stairs and out of the theatre. You weren’t as fast as Aone, not by a long shot—but you’d be surprised how fast a girl can move when she’s running to the love of her life. 

Running around the empty theatre because everyone was watching a movie, you quickly checked the boys bathroom (not caring that you shouldn’t be in there) before realizing it was empty and then sprinting outside in to the cold night. 

Please don’t be gone. Please don’t be gone. Please don’t be gone. Please don’t be gone. Please don’t be gone. Please don’t be gone. Please don’t be gone. Please don’t be gone. Please don’t be gone. Please don’t be gone. Please don’t be gone. Please don’t be gone. Please don’t be gone. Please don’t be gone. Please don’t be gone. Please don’t be gone. Please don’t be gone. Please don’t be gone. Please don’t be gone. Please don’t be gone, you chanted. 

Your head snapped left and right, eyes scanning the parking lot for Aone’s car, and when you spotted it signalling and waiting to make a right out of the theatre, you dangerously raced toward it! Heart pumping, you jumped in front of the vehicle with both hands extended in front of you as if you had the strength to stop the car from moving if you could. 

The horn of the car honked dramatically, followed by a head that was not your Mountain Man’s sticking out the window to shout profanities at you to get the fuck out of the way. 

Stepping back shakily, you automatically went back to scanning the lot again for the same 4 wheeler, because locating that car was ALL that mattered right now. 

Finding HIM was all that mattered.

You had to be more cautious now in your search. More purposeful. 

Far back, hundreds of meters from where you were standing you could make out a car that you somehow knew was his. Something, just something, told you it was, and your heart started racing even faster. The lights had turned on like the driver was about to leave, and then it shut off again as if the driver changed their mind about leaving. Without thinking about it, only listening to the pull in your heart that said your man was over there, you used your years of cheerleading experience to catapult you toward the parked vehicle.

When you got closer, your heart squeezed on its own accord as if someone was making pizza dough with it. Slowing down, you took in the sight that was your ex boyfriend sitting in the driver’s seat of his car, white hair visible only because his head was down, forehead kissing the steering wheel, his shoulders vibrating slightly because he is crying. It’s him.

Position:

Not stopping to think anymore, acting on pure love and instinct, you sped over to the driver’s side and tugged the door open. Thank God it was unlocked.

This giant mountain man didn’t move from his position crying on the steering wheel. Only muttering a broken, “Kenji-san, please leave me—“

“Not Justin Bieber look-alike!” You croaked loudly, heart pounding when this gorgeous man’s head lifted as soon as you uttered your first syllable. He looked you up and down and your breath caught in your throat. You’ve NEVER seen such a beautiful man cry before, and although it tugged at what was left of your heart—you thought he looked breathtaking. 

“Y/N…..? D-did Kenji-san send you out-t-t he-here? I apolo-pologize—“

You shook your head, unable to stop yourself from pouring your heart out. 

“Hey. Remember the other day after you helped me film my cheerleading tryout, you said that you were happy we were fr-friends?” You asked sharply, ignoring his apology for now, and forever grateful for the fact that you had major cojones when you wanted to. They came in handy at times like this. 

With red puffy eyes, Aone wiped his face and then nodded, making you melt. 

“Well,” You took a shaky breath, sliding your own tears to the side before you left your heart out on the table for this man. 

“Well, I’m not your friend, Aone.” 

Aone visibly swallowed, his eyes welling up with tears again. He hated himself so much for crying like this. 

“I-I know, not y-yet, bu-but I was hoping one day you’d-d—“ Mountain man didn’t even know what he wanted to say, he was dead.

“No. I’m not your friend.” You repeated yourself, watching a shiver run through Takanobu due to the chill in your voice and the intensity your eyes held.

You could sense that he wasnt getting where you were going with this play on words, so you cut to the chase. Hopefully he would get it after hearing what he had to say next, just like you did when he said these same words to you once in a bowling alley. 

“The reason I can’t be your friend is because I like you so much more than a friend, Aone. You have no idea how much more.” 

Aone shivered again, his beautiful lips separating because his jaw dropped slightly. He recognized his words on your lips now, you could tell. He was understanding how you felt now, so you continued anxiously:

“Everything about you drives me absolutely insane, Takanobu. Your spirit, your love, the way you are the only man I will ever love……even the way you can’t notice that your ex is still madly in love with you, and that she only came here tonight to cry over you alone but ran into someone, and even though she was dumb enough to break up with you.”

Aone’s jaw had just dropped wider as you spoke, his mind reeling. 

You stepped in closer to where he was sitting in his car, closing the distance because you just couldn’t stand being any further from him anymore. You also wanted to whisper this next part. You wanted him to know that his confession to you was etched in your brain so much so that you could recite it in a moments notice, even if that said moment was full of pure emotional madness like right now. 

“I’m not your friend, Aone.” You repeated once again. “I don’t want to be. I want to be everything else for you. Everything more. Takanobu, I have a confession to make.” You used both of your cold hands to cup his cheeks, his beautiful, red, stubble filled, wet cheeks.

“I love you. I love you, my Mountain Man. I love you more than I did yesterday, and the day before that, and the day before that. I loved you on the Ferris wheel, and I loved you when you filmed my tryouts. I love you Right now, and I will forever. I will explain everything, I promise. But there has never been, nor will there ever be anyone else for me other than you, Aone-san.” 

You giggled through your tears because Takanobu looked so confused but happy. It was an odd expression, but very cute. You continued, 

“I know we get called Losties a lot which used to bother me, but you know what: maybe we are, but that’s besides the point—because all I know is that I used to hate being called that…. Until I met you.” You leaned in so that your foreheads were touching. “When I met you, Aone-san....... I stopped caring about being lost….... none of it mattered to me.......insofar as we were lost together. Together with you is the only way I want to go through life, Aone, so I’m sorry for hurting you. I’m sorry for letting my insecurities drive me and I’m sorry for possibly confessing to you when you have someone else. I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m—“

Mountain Man imitated your gesture of cupping your cheeks in his large hands, wiping away your tears like you did to him. 

And then, without saying another word like he was good at—

He slid you into his lap sitting in the front seat, back in the same position he pulled you in the last time you two were at this theatre—

and then he kissed you. 

It was a kiss so passionate that you gasped into it, needing him, needing him like a hiker needed their mountain. A kiss so passionate it l lasted for the remaining duration of the movie (no word of a lie) because you refused to let each other go—but most importantly: it was a kiss that made you realize that you and Mountain Man weren’t just two losties lost together like you mentioned a bit ago—no. Absolutely not. Actually, this kiss was so passionate it made you realize that you were really two losties that were lost in every aspect in life—minus one:

Because you two could never be lost when it came to your feelings for one another. Finding true love happened to be the only aspect of life that most people on this planet remained lost in, which happened to be the exact aspect of life where you and Aone have both been….

Found. 

🐢

🐢

🐢

———————————

A/N: That’s it! I am secretly here to let y’all know that there will be one more collection post next time I write, and that post will be the end of this losty series. I will cry when that time comes lmao but for now tysm for reading this marathon - I would loooove to hear your thoughts! I literally die when you guys comment or send me private messages reacting. It makes my whole day istg. Anyways, Wishing you all the best as always. See you next time. Xoxo

Taglist: @galagcica @chaichai-the-weeb @nairobiisqueen @bisasterrr @juminly @simply-not-the-same @marvelousbakugou @qyuanon

[passivenovember]

Tetherball : Harringrove April Day One

Also on ao3

--

Steve put his seatbelt on that first day, when Billy stepped out of his chariot across school grounds, taking inventory of things as they were. Life as Steve knew it.

Nancy in the seat next to him.

First period chemistry, English, Geology, lunch. Steve took note of the periwinkle tones in the sky, the rumble of the cafeteria on pizza day, the smell of the library and the way the books turned on you if there were late fees to be settled.

Everything fell into bullet points across worn pavement.

Then versus now. Before and after.

Steve said goodbye to planet Earth that day, whether he knew it or not. Whether he found it favorable. The rumble of an engine beneath his feet changed Steve's perception, and the weight of two blue medallions grew and grew until Steve had learned the facts.

William Hargrove went by Billy. And he had tumbled in from California, presumably naked on a sea shell, where Billy’s stepsister doused hatred like a flame in the ocean under skies full of seagulls and cotton candy wisps.

He wore elevens in converse and a large Hawkins Phys Ed t-shirt that popped seams across his biceps but went soft and wavy in the middle.

Not like it mattered, though.

William went by Billy and he called skins as soon as coach blew the whistle. His t-shirt never made another appearance after that.

--

That's all Steve needed to know, right? The basics. California and step sisters, William instead of Billy, and the sound of rubber on polished oak.

But that's the funny thing about revelations.

Facts are different when colored by opinions, and Steve felt them dropping like coins from the hole in his pocket. As he got to know Billy the bullet points that had taken over Steve's mind rippled and glimmered in the light of first period. Changing.

He observed.

Wondered.

Obsessed.

Developing thoughts about who Billy was and, eventually, the person he pretended to be. Steve wasn't interested in the line Billy drew around the two halves of a whole. Any of the masks he wore in the cafeteria around princesses and prom queens versus the man Steve saw in second period English, who was.

Soft spoken and thoughtful. Every pastel shade in the sky versus brash and heated sunsets over barley.

Flame and sea, like a burning ship at war.

Steve wasn't interested but he learned anyway. Took notes, eyes tracking the brush of Billy's thumb on his bottom lip, brows pinching in concentration as he deciphered the root of a poem in ten seconds flat. The curl of his lips when we took his paper from Mr. Terrine. How he always had an extra pencil for anyone who needed it.

Before long Steve aced his exam in AP Hargrove and failed where everyone else said it mattered.

Got himself a tutor.

Blue eyes to pin him in place, pink lips to seal the passage between worlds. Steve wasn't interested in spending his afternoons under a tetherball, smacking brightly colored plastic out of his face as Billy read to him from a textbook while his sister. Max (step sister, Billy's voice supplied), kicked some girls ass on on the skateboard during softball practice.

"Should we try it once more?" Billy's patient. Steve wasn't expecting that.

He smacks the ball away again. "I've learned a lot about you, but I wasn't expecting this."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Y'know." From across the playground Max teaches her girl how to kick flip. Steve doesn't think that's right. He shrugs anyway. "Smarts. Like, AP biology, Valedictorian, Brain stew smart."

They've been studying together for weeks.

Four weeks. Seems like more with the slide of Billy's shoulder against Steve's arm, blonde ringlets dodging the tetherball as it swings overhead. Billy's fingers brush the open faced textbook, mouth serious but eyes soft. Sparkly, like a discarded bag of glitter.

"Maybe you should pay more attention to the prose."

"Maybe I can do both at the same time." Steve fiddles with the edge of the notebook, nodding as Billy grins. "Alright, goldilocks, tell your silly little story."

He does.

The green eyed boy in the powder blue shirt standing next to you in the supermarket recoils as if hit,

repeatedly,

by a lot of men, as if he has a history of it.

Steve leans back against the rusty iron pole, feeling the weight of the tetherball on one side of his head, and. The brush of golden curls on the other. He closes his eyes, feeling a voice more than hearing it.

That is not your problem. You have your own body to deal with.

The lamp by the bed is broken--

"Are you following?" Billy asks. He moves, knees drawn up so the book is balanced close to the curve of his chin. Close to the split in the universe. "We're getting into muddy waters here--"

"'S not that muddy."

"Sure it is." Billy's cheeks flush, pink paint across the bridge of his nose. He moves against Steve's arm, elbow knocking into ribs. "Tell me what you think is happening."

Steve thinks about it.

Knocks Billy's arm away gently, closing his eyes. "Read some more and then we'll talk."

Billy does.

The lamp by the bed is broken. You are feeling things he is no longer in touch with a nd everyone is speaking softly, as if not to wake one another.

The wind knocks the heads of the flowers together. Steam rises from every cup at every table at once.

Things happen all the time.

Things happen at every minute that have nothing to do with us.

Billy stops reading and Steve peeks at him through an eye half-lidded, curious. "Is that the end of the story?"

"Poem."

"Huh." Steve straightens, moving his legs this way and that. "Felt like a story."

Billy mirrors him exactly, closing the textbook and grabbing his pencil. "That's interesting."

And the way he says it. While flipping through his pea-green fivestar spiral, makes it feel wrong. Stupid.

Steve smacks distantly at the sky. "No it's not."

"Sure it is. Siken's poems are very lyrical. They paint images, vivid images, and sometimes I can imagine myself doing what the lines convey."

Steve grins. "You can imagine yourself in bed with another man?"

Steve isn't interested in the answer but he's interested in the feeling, the glint of emotion behind a wall of powdery blue. It doesn't seep through the cracks, though, it's contained. If Steve wants to find the center, he'll have to dig.

Billy doesn't miss a beat. "If that's what you think the poem's talking about, sure."

"Of course that's what it's talking about."

"How so?"

Steve laughs at that, rubbing against Billy's side. "You sound like a scholar."

"Is that so wrong?"

"No." Steve says thoughtfully. "'S cute."

Billy doesn't crack. Not in the way Steve's used to. No fingers in his hair, spinning spools of gold as he peeks at Steve through thick lashes. Instead he makes a note of it, whatever it is they're saying. Scribbling Steve's interpretation on one side of the blank page, dividing the two halves with a thick black line.

Billy intends to find the truth. "The protagonist is in love with the man at the supermarket? Is that what you're saying."

"I guess."

Billy rolls his eyes. "Your intent has to be clear. Poetry is all about interpretation; if you don't attempt to bridge the divide--"

"All right, Einstein." Steve plays along. "Sure."

Billy's eyes flash victorious as he clicks the pen trigger. "What makes you say that?"

"The way he's obsessed with him."

"The way the narrator is obsessed?" Billy leans forward, intent. "With the man in the grocery store?"

"What makes you deny it?" Steve wonders, folding his legs beneath him so they're crisscross applesauce.

Billy leans back against the pole, casual and easy. "I'm not the one failing English."

"No, but you are the poet." Steve counters. "Dude, I know you have an interpretation. I know you have thoughts, so. Just tell me."

Billy turns to face the playground.

Max skates circles around her girl, smiling in the way Billy does when he's got Steve pinned on the court. Like a predator. Pushing and pulling back just enough to leave the girl chasing after her, enough to catch herself before Max has a chance to get her claws out.

It's incredible, Steve thinks, how much Billy is just like his sister.

"I think he's using him."

Steve cocks his head, curious.

"The man with the blue shirt." Billy opens the textbook and reads the part about the lamp again, peeking up at Steve through frizzy curls. "The narrator says we are feeling things the man is no longer in touch with."

Steve leans forward. "Like love?"

Billy thinks about it. "No."

"Connection, then."

"If they're sleeping together it's more than just sex." Billy counters, "More than just carnality."

Which.

Steve frowns. "People fuck all the time without connecting."

"Really?"

"Yeah." Steve thinks about rattling down his list. The girls, the guys, the one night stands and bullshit post-game hook ups.

Billy fiddles with the edges of his notebook almost. Shyly. "People have sex because they're in love."

Steve snorts. "There's a million reasons to fuck outside of love."

Billy's eyes flash hard with.

Something. He bares his teeth. "Yeah? Like what?"

"I dunno. Breakup sex, makeup sex, sorry for burning a hole in your prom dress sex--"

"Gross."

"Point is." Steve looks at Billy. Studies him, the freckles across his upper lip, the scruff along his jawline. "Sex and emotion don't have to exist within each other."

Billy stares back at him, eyes wide and distant. Closed off.

He writes something on Steve's half of the notebook. "I disagree."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." Billy tosses his pen to the ground. "Our narrator says the man in the blue shirt has a history of being hit by other men."

"So?" Steve has trouble following at the best of times, and this.

The way Billy is worrying the skin on his fingers, nails catching and tearing in places they don't belong, feels important.

Billy shrugs. "Why would he sleep with a man without knowing his heart?"

"Maybe he just wants to feel something."

"Or maybe he wants to connect." Billy turns to look out across the playground once more, fingers tugging at the edge of his notebook. "Maybe he's existing in this bubble, like. This silent world with a tiny room where everyone is speaking softly out of respect. Maybe he chooses the wrong person because it's better than feeling half alive."

Steve knows they aren't talking about the poem anymore.

He tugs the notebook from Billy's hands, flipping through a million and one handwritten theories and observations. Billy lets him. Lets Steve look through his life and into his mind before handing the spiral back and asking, "Have you ever picked the wrong person?"

Billy doesn't say anything and then; "Yes."

"How come?"

"Everybody's wrong if you squint hard enough."

Steve nods, looping his arms around his knees. "And I'm assuming you didn't sleep with any of them."

He doesn't expect Billy to answer. It's not like they owe each other anything, honesty or otherwise. Billy leans back against the pole once more. From where their bodies are pressed together Billy feels feverish. Incendiary.

Billy clears his throat. "Or the opposite."

Which catches Steve off guard.

Billy watches him for a moment, eyes dark and serious. "I don't think the narrator sleeps with the man in the blue shirt. Maybe he intends to. Take the guy home, make a couple drinks, blaze trails into something previously unknown to him or maybe just. A feeling he hasn't felt in a while. But intimacy isn't always about sex."

Steve snorts. "I can't think of anything more intimate than being inside another person."

"But you are inside them, just. Not in the way you expected."

Steve glares out over the playground. The sun will be setting soon, blacktops and brown fields painted in shades of red and orange. The whole world will catch on fire but Steve feels the beginning, coals glowing bright red under the line of his ribcage when he turns to find blue eyes on him.

Dousing the fire, or maybe.

Raising the stakes. His eyes flit across Billy's forehead, brushing over his lips and coming to rest on his eyelashes. Feathery and soft, like the arms of a teddy bear. Steve licks his lips, going up in flame when Billy's eyes track the movement.

"I lied." Steve says.

Billy doesn't look away. "I'm not sure what you--"

"The first time a boy ever kissed me." Steve says. "When a boy kissed me because he wanted to, that was more intimate than anything I'd ever felt before."

Billy's gaze falls impossibly lower, tracing the swell of Steve's lips. "How did it feel?"

And he says it like.

He couldn't possibly know.

And Steve says, "Like my heart was taking root," like.

Let me show you.

Billy takes a deep breath. "I don't think I've ever felt like that."

"Never?"

"Not once."

From across the playground Max's answering laugh makes Billy's skin turn gold. Caramel, ice cream topped with sugar. Steve feels his body inching closer, mouth opening as if to taste love on the air.