#I mean readmores work everywhere now right? so not actually a long post

[transienturl]

hi! you seem to know a great deal about this xkit rewritten. im a tumblr user back from the early 2010-2016 years or so and i always used xkit. however, my question now is, do you have a suggestion on what are tumblr setting preferences should be AND what our xkit rewritten preferences (disable/enabled, etc) should be to get it as close as we can to the old tumblr dashboard? Many thanks!

Hello there!

Hmm, let's see. I made my blog in 2011, so I guess I was around in that era. I don't remember the exact details of what the Tumblr UI was like at particular times super well, but I can go through my settings and just kind of see what I think a returning user might be interested in off the top of my head.

I might or might not go into detail on what every XKit Rewritten setting does (I've been thinking about things like recording a video going through all that—maybe when we start running out of new scripts to add), but I'll call out things that stand out.

First off, I always install Palettes for Tumblr (download link in @addons!). I personally use the "circa 2016" palette, i.e. "old blue," but April's also got an even older blue in there, and it's fully customizable if you want any other color scheme you can imagine! I change the font to Helvetica Neue and bump the font size down by one as well; do what looks good to you! Also check out Outbox.

Okay, Tumblr settings...

Account:

Community Labels:

Set the toggles to whatever you want; I go for "blur." Take them off "hide" unless that's really what you want; it'll hide flagged posts completely from your dash with no indication that they're there!

Filtered tags and filtered post content:

Use these like you would use Blacklist or Tumblr Savior to hide any content you don't want to see! This will apply to your account wherever you're logged in (mobile apps and desktop web), and will hide post content with a visual indicator that you can click to unhide it.

Absolutely enable the option in XKit Rewritten's Tweaks to use a slim layout for these (this should just be changed on the site, imo), and optionally hide filtered posts completely.

Here's some detailed info about the difference between the two that I wrote for something else:

Filtering a word or phrase as a tag will hide any post with that exact tag (no wildcards) and reblog chains whose original root posts contain that exact tag.

Filtering a word or phrase as post content will hide any post with the specified word or phrase anywhere in the post text or in any usernames, including in the middle of a word (filtering "ash" will hide posts with "dashboard" or "fashion"). It will not search the post tags.

Yes, there's no way to do a wildcard search that works on the post tags right now. Yes, this sucks.

Dashboard:

If you like visible timestamps, I suggest turning the "show timestamps" option on here. Additionally, I use Timeformat in XKit Rewritten to make them more detailed (I use MMM D, YYYY · h:mm A; feel free to experiment with the options here).

I turn "shorten long posts" off. Up to you! XKit Rewritten has its own Shorten Posts script with more customizability over how long a post has to be to be lengthened, if you'd like.

Turn off the "best stuff first" and "include [etc]" options under preferences if you want your main dashboard to be the old-style, just-the-blogs-I-follow-in-reverse-chronological-order.

Ad-Free Browsing

If you have the money to spend, I encourage it. The site is super fast without ads, and Tumblr needs revenue to pay for developers, moderation staff, and servers.

If you do, I personally allow Blaze ads; they can be kinda fun sometimes. Up to you!

Privacy

Decide if you want to let others see if you're active.

Labs

I absolutely love the Blog Subscriptions tab, which lets me make a mini-dashboard of only the blogs I really want to see every post from, so I turn that on. (To subscribe to a blog, open it up on the dashboard, hit the three dots menu, and click "get notifications." This will give you push notifications on the mobile apps.)

Heavy queue users may appreciate the fast queue button, but if you're an XKit Rewritten Quick Reblog user, there's already an easy way to do that.

Per-blog settings

If you leave/turn "enable custom theme" off, your blog will only show up inside Tumblr itself, which is actually my preferred way to view people's blogs (it's very good now!), but you'll probably want to turn it on to enable [yourblog].tumblr.com.

Decide who you want to be able to leave replies on your posts! (I use "everyone.")

XKit Rewritten scripts:

Tweaks:

If you use Tumbr's filtering options, I recommend the use a slim layout for filtered posts or hide filtered posts completely options, as mentioned.

Turning the changes/etc carousel into a line is a fan favorite. It acts as a "here's where you were up to on your dash" indicator if you turned off the algorithmic stuff in dashboard settings, as mentioned above. If you like it being a carousel, you can turn off the animations in AccessKit.

Remove the sticky effect from the dashboard tab bar. That's the one that appears/disappears when you scroll. (Lots more in here to hide UI elements you dislike, if you dislike them).

Quick Reblog is the renamed version of One-Click Postage, which is of course a fan favorite as well. Turn "Show the comment field" on if you want to be able to add text when quick reblogging (though the regular editor form is usually better for additions). "Suggest tags from the post being reblogged" is great; click in the tag text box and they'll all pop up so you can select the ones you want to copy. Set the limit on saved reblogs higher (imo there's no reason not to).

You can set a queue tag here, but it'll only be added automatically when you use the Quick Reblog popup; put it in Quick Tags too so you can easily add it when queueing a post using the full editor form.

Quick Tags: Add your saved tags here and they'll show up in the Quick Reblog popup!

Classic Search: I don't use this, but many people want pressing enter in the search bar to go to the tag page, as it apparently used to?

Open in Tabs is kind of broken at the time of writing (just a note in case anyone is confused).

No Recommended: Pretty self-explanatory; if you don't like recommendation carousels between posts, enable the "between posts" ones.

AccessKit: This is where Disable Gifs is, if you were looking for it.

Quote Replies: Used to be called One-Click Reply! (This only works on the activity page at the time of writing, not in the activity dropdown menu that you can access from anywhere.)

Tag Tracking+: Many people apparently thought this used to be called something else, but if you're looking for that big sidebar with all of your tracked tags, here it is.

TimeFormat: I mentioned this earlier when we talked about timestamps! (I prefer this over the Timestamps extension, which we kind of semi-retired.)

Trim Reblogs: This is the new way to trim down roleplay threads in a way that's actually supported by Tumblr's UI! To use it, draft or post a reblog with your additions, then navigate to it and press the scissors icon. You can pick which reblog trail items stay, so if you and your RP partner start with a post with just a title, you can keep it on top. This requires the thread to have been started with the new post editor (or on the mobile app).

There are definitely more scripts that I swear by, but I think this is long enough! Also, there are some bits of classic XKit functionality that we haven't quite gotten in yet. I might edit this post later if we add something relevant, but I probably won't. Feel free to check, though!

[chongoblog]

Zero Time Dilemma Review/Ramble

Okay, so if you’ve been following me, you know that I’ve gotten into the Zero Escape series, famous for 999 and Virtue’s Last Reward, streaming both games. I recently took the time to experience the last game, Zero Time Dilemma by watching cutscenes rather than playing it proper mostly because A) I heard it was REALLY dark and didnt want to risk it on Twitch and B) I wanted to experience it more freely like while I’m at work.

After experiencing it. I have......feelings about it. And because there’s MASSIVE spoilers involved, I’m making it its own post under the ReadMore below.

tl;dr LOADS of bullshit, flawed execution, and stupid decisions, but still REALLY enjoyed it

Okay so a LOT of this is going to be complaining, and like I said in the tl;dr I still legit enjoyed this game, so I’m gonna make this a compliment sandwich by saying something nice now, loading up on complaints, then ending with more compliments. Carlos is good. So is Sean. Sigma being voiced by Matthew Mercer actually makes him more interesting imo. I REALLY like Phi’s new design and the way they build on the initial concepts brought up in VLR more accurately portray the ideas that started all the way back in 999, that being the idea of taking thoughts across timelines, just like the player. From the beginning, the theme/gimmick was always “what if your character remembered information when you savescummed?” In 999 that began as flashes of information, and in VLR the characters’ consciousness actually time traveled at the very end. ZTD now uses the idea of the consciousness traveling across time and space and RUNS with it. I also think that Delta has a cool design.

I’ll be nice again later, but now for the things I Did Not Like.

Emo Moody Junpei makes sense from a writing standpoint, but that doesn’t mean I have to like him. Maybe I just got spoiled since Evan Wilson did a spectacular job with his deliveries in 999 and in ZTD it seems like his soul got sucked out. Not the fault of the delivery as much as it is the writing. Eric is bad, and I feel like that statement isn’t controversial. I don’t think anyone likes Eric, and if you do, then sorry for shitting on him so much, but god I just don’t like him. And the abusive childhood thing doesn’t give me a drop of sympathy, but then again I’ve always hated the writing trick that “this person is shitty and pathetic but it’s because abuse!” (see also Mikan). Diane is boring (sorry).

But I fuuuuuckin HATE Mira. I hate Mira so much. Like, at first I thought she’d be alright, yeah she’s definitely The Boob Character™, but I liked Lotus well enough and Alice grew on me significantly, so I don’t see why Mira won’t. Then she’s like “surprise I’m a serial killer”. Now if they just made her a serial killer, it would be kinda boring so I’m glad they TRIED something new. I just think the result was bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad. Like....”hmm I never felt any emotions so when my mom told me they were kept in hearts I just ripped em out of people :)” is some garbage I’d write in middle school when I felt especially edgy. Also yeah seems p ableist. I won’t go too deeper into Mira, since she’s a sociopath and I don’t know enough about the actual disorder to put a candle to the real thing, but....bleh.

I won’t touch on THIS aspect for too long because I’m aware that it had barely any budget and it wouldn’t have happened without a kickstarter (don’t know the details), but the animation is just....so stiff. It really takes away from the dramatic impact some scenes are meant to have. But even IF the animation wasn’t stiff, I still am not a big fan of the darker and moodier direction it went. Although that’s moreso down to personal preference. Final note about the presentation (which is by far the game’s weakest aspect) is that I noticed multiple points in the sound mixing got to nearly Sonic Adventure 2 levels of being unable to understand what people were saying.

Alright. Now for the moment you’ve all been waiting for. Let’s talk about Delta. This is going to make up a MAJORITY of this post so strap in.

Delta is a meme. There’s no other way to say it briefly. He’s just such a huge fucking meme. Almost everything about him, from his plan to his “complex” motives to his backstory to his powers. I mentioned liking his design, but fuck it. That’s a meme now too. Delta is the stupidest part of the game, and as much as I kind of love it, I also need to complain about it.

First let’s talk about Delta’s plan (because it starts with the nicest part of this segment). His motives are “complex” which is actually greek for “he’s probably either a liar, an idiot, or both”. I said there was nice things, so I’ll start with those. The very ending’s “ah ah ah. I never killed any of you in this timeline. If you arrested someone for crimes of another history, there would be criminals everywhere” was something I actually legitimately enjoyed. Yeah, intent was still there and he’s still a bastard (plus there was kidnapping and non-consensual drugging involved so kind of a stupid take), but I still thought it was a fun attempt. And also the “I had to make sure I was born” thing is a mindfuck, and I love those. Basically the first retort is “well I’m alive, right? So I don’t need to make sure I was born with powers because I WAS born with powers, which means it happened in another universe. So I don’t have to.” Only to then realize that we’re just in the universe where he DID do that but then the only justification is “someone had to” right? Wrong. Let’s talk about the rest of his “complex” motives

So I give a pass to “I had to make sure I was born”, but now we see why he had to do this whole deal and what he declares at the end of the game. That there’s some religious fanatic who intends to blow up the world and completely end humanity. And he released Radical-6 in the VLR timeline hoping that it would kill the terroris only killing 4 billion people instead of 6 billion people. In the timeline at the end of ZTD, he says that they had used this experience to hone the skills of the Shifters that way they could use their newly honed take down the religious fanatic WITHOUT Radical-6 and save the world.

What?

Now......before I tear into this.....I have ONE nice thing to say. The “unleash radical 6 and kill 4 billion vs let a terrorist end humanity” gambit IS cleverly foreshadowed with the radical 6 decision game with Q Team. But also wouldn’t that have made, like 1800 times more narrative sense to give that decision game to team D who KNOWS the impact of radical 6, or team C who he explains this plan to later on? Damn, even my nice thing was backhanded. Alright let’s REALLY tear into it.

FIRST of all, this is the exact same plot of Virtue’s Last Reward. Only difference is that somehow Akane and Junpei are just as skilled at this technique as Sigma and Phi despite the latter going to do Moon Training (granted the moon training was also to give them enough of a jump to go back 45 years). Speaking of Virtue’s Last Reward, this game also reveals that Delta is Brother, the leader of Free the Soul. A group of religious fanatics. So I wouldn’t be especially shocked if the religious fanatic is working with Free the Soul. But for the sake of this argument, let’s just say they aren’t with FtS. How in the Flavor-Blasted FUCK does he know this? Did somebody Shift back from that timeline and then just get Mind hacked (and we’ll fUCKING talk about Mind Hacking dont you worry)? How would that be the only piece of information known about the end of the god damn world? And if there IS more, then why the fuck wouldn’t you tell them the information? How does he know that it’s inevitable when apparently a god damn snail can unleash Radical-6?

I call bullshit on the “religious fanatic” thing. Wanna know why? Because at this point, Delta had already founded Free The Soul. He started this shit in 1938. At this point in time, he and the rest of the Free the Soul had already kidnapped Alice’s dad to create clones of his dead brother. He was pushing for a new world order and then in the VLR timeline, tried to PREVENT this whole thing from happening by sending Dio to the Moon. So if he actually gave a shit about “honing their abilities” then why would he do everything in his power to stop it? There is ONE out that there can be, but it’s something not even HINTED at (and I’ll talk about this later), but I think that "religious fanatic” is a big ol’ lie that he made up to try and save face when he was faced with a consequence, but even that explanation makes no sense since he’s like “lol shoot me if u wanna I wont mind hack you”

And let’s talk about mind hacking. Let’s fucking talk about Mind Hacking. Adding Mind Hacking was stupid, completely pointless, out of left field, and actively makes Delta a worse character. For those that don’t know, Mind Hacking is an ability that only Delta has (and I guess the player character technically but that’s a whole meta thing from VLR that doesn’t get followed up on) where you can read people’s minds and also fuckin control them. Why? Why was this necessary, ZTD? You wanna know what I thought was really neat? When I saw that different timelines produced different X-Codes. I thought “oh shit, I know this is Game Stuff, but the sheer foresight of the villain to do that? That’s some Moriarty shit.” It would require some insane explanations, but we’ve had enough sci-fi that we could imagine with enough advanced tech, you could set up systems that could use conditionals to give certain responses based on certain outcomes. Like if someone dies after the decontamination room button is pressed, then the central computer outputs a different X-Code than if it’s after the initial vote. Just make up a new tech that accounts for Shifting (plus the QUANTUM COMPUTER you have RIGHT THERE) and you could make a villain with so much calculated foresight that he’s just a god damn genius. But no. Mind hacking. None of that interesting stuff, just “lol I read ur mind idiot”. No outwitting anyone, just “lol get mindhacked eric u scrub bang bang”.

Honest to god, honest to FUCKING god, do you want to know how cool the final cutscene would have made Delta look if he walked out and just KNEW what happened in another timeline because of his plans. Like everyone recognizes him as Delta and he just goes “ohoho I see you had a fun time in my other timeline” using that deduction alone. But nah, he’s just like “yo I just mindhacked y’all, nice experience y’all had” I hate mind hacking so much. There’s no part of his plan where he NEEDED to mind hack in order to succeed that could have been written without mind hacking.

Now there’s a bit of a missed opportunity here that could both make mind hacking relevant, made his motive not shit, and also maybe even developed him into a SUPER interesting character! I know this is a bit fanfic-y, but hear me out. Make Delta a VICTIM of the stable time loop/bootstrap paradox. For those who don’t know, the bootstrap paradox is when time travel makes certain events happen seemingly out of thin air since they are their own cause. Basically it’s this clip from Milo Murphy. This is something that seems like it’s KINDA there in the subtext, but if they actually dove into it, they could have a GOLD mine.

What if we keep the mindhacking, and before he even MAKES Free the Soul, he mindhacks someone who experienced the events of the “religious fanatic”. But not just anyone. An experienced SHIFTer who made it their goal to stop this religious fanatic. After hundreds of attempts, they still fail. Delta sees this and determines it to be inevitable. So he’s having fun, cursed by the knowledge of an inevitable apocalypse. Then he meets Akane, Phi, Sigma, or Junpei after they had undergone the events of VLR and ZTD. He learns that particular timeline. A bleak future, yes, but one single future where humanity is alive. He sees two futures, one in which all of humanity dies, and one where he is the leader of a religious cult that wipes out 4 Billion People with a deadly pandemic. And the idea of being that person disgusts him. He despises it. But he’s completely resigned to fate. He knows that things must go precisely as he’s seen at the price of humanity, too frightened by such a burden to even take a toe off of the predetermined pathway. His motive is that he’s so tightly bound to fate and so afraid to let it slip that he has no choice but to commit the atrocities, despising himself for it every step of the way, but considering it better than the inevitable alternative. It would give a purpose for the mindhacking powers, it would give him a solid motive, and it would make the ending SO much stronger, showing the contrast between a group of SHIFTers confident that they can change fate and the man who is completely resigned to his own. Fuck, I might steal this character concept because I REALLY think this idea would work to make an interesting villain!

Like I mentioned, this is KINDA there in subtext (with him quite frequently saying “life truly is unfair”) and this could be an interpretation of the character, but if ZTD had explored that theme, then holy hell what an interesting character Delta would be.

But even WITH this fix, holy hell, this plan is stupid. Because guess what, dingus. You just created like 30 new timelines that all end in annihilation.

He coulda said ONE line about “even if there is only one history that ends nicely, that is solace enough”, that might have been dark, but still powerful. You know, add some depth. But instead, he’s just like “hmm hmm shoot me”

And the Q Twist? I’m honestly not as mad at it as I should be. On one hand, it does that cute thing where there are little bits of foreshadowing so when you rewatch it, you notice little bits like shadows and stuff, but on the other hand, there are PLENTY of points where either the camera just straight up lies to you and doesn’t show him when he should be there or Delta’s just been fuckin SHMOOVIN on his wheelchair around the room constantly to stay out of the camera and everyone’s just been kinda chill with it. Maybe if they had been more careful with the camera it could have delivered a TOUCH better. Like, even if the shots are a bit off, that’s noticeable enough to be part of the hint, no? I don’t have as much to say about this, mostly because this post is getting long as fuck so I’m gonna wrap it up so I can move on with my life for a bit.

So even with ALL OF THAT, I still enjoyed playing the game. That’s right, compliment sandwich time. The three wards all being one ward was a really neat reveal. The fact that you can shoot Delta in one scene is creative with its replay value. I’m glad they touched on the philosophical idea of what happens to the people who made it out from the coin flip only to get SHIFTed into the exploding lab, and exploring that idea was fun. I absolutely lost my mind at the idea of the gun to sigmas head had a random chance of firing and then seeing it elaborated on in the dice scene directly after it. Gab is a good boy.

Cant wait to play AI

[theepisceswriter]

300 MILESTONE WRITING EVENT. (CLOSED, BUT REGULAR REQUESTS ARE OPEN)

OMG HI BESTIES, I recently gained 300 besties and I can’t even begin to tell y’all how thankful I am for all the love and support all of you have given me in this short amount of time that I’ve owned my blog. I thought I was going to be a flop lowkey but you all proved me wrong LMAO. So to show my appreciation for you all, I decided to finally do a milestone event like I was supposed to do a long time ago but shhhhh, don’t be shy to send in a request bestie! I promise I don’t bite unless you know you’re into that kind of stuff 🙈 

MASTERLIST (tba once the first requests is complete or I get a couple of requests) 

 HOW THIS EVENT WILL WORK 

♡ listed below underneath the readmore cut are 90 prompts  for you to choose from that are broken into categories (fluff, smut, angst, & crack) 

♡ You can send in one prompt or mix and match them together along with a character of your choice, two characters for a ménage a trois situation if you want to be extra, or a character x character request 

♡ You can be as descriptive or as vague as you want with your request. 

♡ For example: “prompt number 13 (or the prompt by itself) + prompt 31 for Jean & scout!reader after he thinks you’ve died while in a battle but the two of you reunite later on” or just “Prompt 19 for Shigure Sohma” and even request who you want to say the prompt!

♡ In return I’ll write you a drabble based off the request that varies from 500-1k words. 

Requests specifically for this milestone event are open until 04/25/21 or until I say they close because I’m lowkey terrible at putting a time restriction on things. 

 WHAT FANDOMS THIS EVENT IS OPEN TO 

♡ ATTACK ON TITAN 

♡ JUJUTSU KAISEN 

♡ BLEACH 

♡  FRUITS BASKET 

♡  DEVILS LINE 

♡  FIRE FORCE 

♡  DEATH NOTE 

♡  JOJO’S BIZARRE ADVENTURE 

And any other animes/mangas mentioned in my rules post, even the ones in my currently reading/watching list, but the ones listed up above are the main ones.

PROMPTS LIST 

 FLUFF 

1. " hey, so... i know you haven't been feeling great, so i picked up a few of your favorite snacks, drinks... "

2.“ wait , did you just say you love me? “

3." it's okay. i promise you, i will be here when you wake up. "

4." wow... you look... you look amazing. "

5." you're shivering. here, take my jacket. "

6. “ i love you. “

7. “ what? ME have a crush on YOU? whaaaaaat?! haha! what? pfft … shut up! “

8.“ jealous?! i’m not jealous! “

9.“ wow … your smile is breathtaking. “

10.“I want to be more than friends. “

11.“ let me take you out on a date. “

12. “   it  seems  that  you  get  impossibly  more  beautiful  every  single  day .   ”

13.“ so … do i get a goodnight kiss? “

14. “   i  notice  that  you  keep  looking  at  my  lips .   you’re  criminally  unsubtle .   ”

15. “   i  think  the  kids  are  awake  …   ”

16. “   i  ran  you  a  bath .   get  in  it .   ”

17. “   there’s  no  greater  blessing  than  looking  at  my  child   &   seeing  your  eyes .   ”

18. “   let’s  just  get  in  the  car   &   drive  somewhere .   anywhere .   ”

19. “   i  just  can’t  believe  that  you’re  mine ,   now .   ”

20. “   no ,   you’re  not  going  anywhere .   you  have  a  fever .   ”

21. “   every  time  i  wake  up   &   you’re  there  next  to  me ,   i  wonder  if  i’m  still  dreaming .   ”

22. “  i think i might be in love with you.  ”

23. “ i love you, every part of you. even the parts you don’t like. ”

24. “  you know, if you moved in we wouldn’t keep having to say goodbye like this.  ”

25.“Come watch the sunset with me.”

 SMUT 

26. “i’ve been waiting all day…”

27. “can i come yet? Please let me cum.”

28. “you have to be quiet if you want to cum.”

29.“ wow … you’re hot when you’re angry. “

30. “i want you to touch yourself for me.”

31. “just shut up and fuck me.”

32. “i’m gonna fuck you until you beg me to stop.”

33. “i want you to forget everything and everyone else but me.”

34. “make me.”

35. “they’re gonna catch us—”

36. “You’re beautiful when you’re all flushed and wanting.”

37. “You can be rough with me, I won’t break.”

38. “Did you touch yourself, thinking of me?”

39. “Please, please, touch me.”

40. “I want to bury my face between your thighs.”

41. “You can beg better than that, I think.”

42. “Ride me. Slowly, that’s it.”

43. “Come taste yourself on my fingers.”

44. “are you gonna be good for me?”

45. “did you just yawn?”

46. “how much do you want to cum?”

47. “you sound so pretty when you moan”

48. “tell me you’re mine”

49. “I’m going to put a baby in you tonight.”

50. “Is this your first time doing anything?”

ANGST 

51.“ please just … leave me alone. “

52. “ i don’t love you. “

53.“  you don’t have to talk, we can just sit together.  ” 

54. “ stop trying to fix me.  ”

55. “  you’re right, you are a monster.  ”

56. “  loving you is killing me. ”

57.  “ you’re bleeding! ”

58. “  why can’t i be enough? ”

59. “  just stay still. let me hold you. ”

60. “  if you’re so intent on going down this path, then i’m coming with you. ”

61. ���  i miss the way you used to smile at me. ”

62. “  i need to know that you’ll be okay. if something happens to me… ”

63. “  why won’t you just let me go? i’m not worth it. ”

64. “  please don’t go. ”

65. “There are more lives at stake here than the ones you care about! What gives you the right to decide that one person’s life weighs more than countless others?”

66. “I miss the old you.”

67.“I wish we knew each other sooner.”

68. “  even when you smile, your eyes are still sad.  ”

69. “Promise me you’ll find me in our next lifetime.”

70. “ don’t do that— don’t shut down on me. let me in.  ”

71. “ why aren’t you scared of me?  ”  

72. “ would you kill for me?  ”

73. “  i don’t like the way they look at you. perhaps i’ll cut their eyes out.  ”

74. “  yes. i killed them— but i did it for you.  ”

75. “I think I’m pregnant.”

 CRACK

76." what in the actual fuckily duckily. "

77." how do they know an animal is extinct like?? you looked everywhere?? "

78." why is it called creepypasta and not fettucine afraido? "

79." no offense to myself but what the fuck am i actually doing. "

80.“ … why does this card say ‘ happy 3rd birthday ‘? “

81." ted just be letting anyone talk. "

82." i wonder when the bermuda triangle stopped working. not a lot of drama there anymore. "

83." no wonder the ice caps are melting, i'm fucking HOT! "

84. “crying is very punk,  trust me,  i do it all the time  and i am a punk.  ”

85. “your inability to learn complicated handshakes is tearing this friendship apart.  ”

86. “  what do you mean a thesaurus isn’t a dinosaur? ”

87. “  i’m not interested in being polite or heterosexual.  ”

88.“It’s probably the Illuminati anyways.”

89. “ you’re lucky you’re cute. ”

90. “ Might just headbutt the wall and knock myself the fuck out.”

91. “You deserves the world but all i can give you is my anxiety and depression.”

[unseeliekey]

Shuichi and Kokichi getting married 💜💙 What do you think that would be like?

IM SORRY IVE BEEN SITTING ON THIS ASK FOR SO LONG I JUST. I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS ON IT AND I WANTED TO DO IT JUSTICE. REST UNDER READMORE BECAUSE THIS GETS LONG.

I think! it depends a lot on the universe. i am going to ignore japan’s current stance on gay marriage for this. Post game/VR AU... I’m not sure if they would get married, but if they did, they’d go out of their way to avoid any kind of PR (maybe having learned from kaimaki’s mistakes.) It would either be very, very minimal, or... the whole class is invited (probably minus Shirogane) and it’s very big despite there being twelve guests in attendance- Angie magistrates, obviously! It’s a big affair- a little bittersweet at times, because how can it not be, and Kokichi jokes about his own death and Shuichi shoves cake in his face, and they both have people missing, but their friends are loud enough to make up for it.

It’s similar in a nondespair AU, I think, but... I like parties and I’m going to chat about them having a party! The whole class is invited (plus Shirogane this time) and so are Shuichi’s uncle, and DICE, and NO ONE ELSE. They’ve got some other friends- Shuichi through work, Kokichi through... Kokichi stuff, but not really wedding friends. I think both of them are actually quite private about it- Shuichi is shy, and the attention flusters him, and as much as Kokichi loves drama, he also. Does not like showing vulnerability and it probably gives him HIVES even thinking about it. Writing his vows takes months, (which is fine, because planning also takes months, and Shuichi has his vows down a week after they’re engaged but he spends the entire time overthinking them and ends up stammering when he actually reads them.) DICE end up having to drag Kokichi by his teeth to get out some genuine sentiments- but his still ends up filled with in-jokes and puns and on paper it’s very playful and teasing and fun, a nice contrast to Shuichi’s almost painfully earnest words.

and shuichi goes “oh. yeah. that’s fair actually.” and he ends up emailing their work emails that they never check so technically he told them. but they don’t rsvp and they don’t show up and he only thinks about them a few times.

Anyway! I don’t think the event is traditional at all. Planning is a disaster because Kokichi wants big and Shuichi wants Kokichi to have anything that makes him laugh, and Kokichi secretly wants little secret meanings everywhere. (Chess pieces on the cake, little fake detective pinboards, not-so-subtle floral language, objects that don’t mean anything to anyone but them.) Shuichi panics for a while about his friends, and his parents, and he overthinks it for a long time because he’s not sure if he wants to try and keep the event a little classier for them, or just say fuck it, because who knows if they’re even going to goddamn show up, right?

And Kokichi, who has already invited his nine people, just goes “okay, don’t invite them, then?”

And Shuichi flounders for a while because they’re his parents and it’s his wedding, and then he asks if Kokichi will be insulted if they don’t show up, to which Kokichi informs him that if they do, there’s a minor chance of a fist fight. 

Shuichi goes “you’ll fight my parents on our wedding day????”

And Kokichi goes “no, momota-chan will.”

Because his uncle is there! And Kaito is there (crying the whole way through) and Kaede! and Maki! and Himiko! and Kokichi.

I think in a post game, they walk up the aisle together, because tradition is stupid and they want to be close and they were making out two minutes before the band began to play. but in a universe where Kokichi has DICE with him? Shuichi can wait at the altar (which he is okay with, because, again, anxious) and Kokichi can walk up like the smuggest bastard you’ve ever seen. He does NOT have a veil. What he does have is the most ridiculous fucking cape you’ve ever seen. It’s white, and velvet, and furred, and bedazzled with ballet jewelery, and it takes all nine members of DICE to keep it from dragging all over the chairs around the aisle. It’s so stupid. He trips half way up. Shuichi, who is already dying of nerves, laughs so hard he almost falls over. 

A lot of things go wrong, I think. There’s only 26 people there and a photographer, and neither of them wanted to do rehearsals or anything, so the whole thing is being winged. Something gets set on fire at some point. They accidentally break open a bottle of vintage honeymoon wine from Rantaro instead of the champagne they were meant to be drinking. Kokichi’s white cape ends up stained, which he should have expected considering how stupid and big it is. Miu, weeping, calls them both whores in her speech- OH

 everyone gives a speech. Shuichi’s uncle doesn’t know many of these people that well (especially not the nine weirdos in evening gowns who no one had met prior to Kokichi disappearing to get ready), but every single one of them has something wonderful to say about his nephew. Some of the stories are ribald, or wild, or a little bit unbelievable- but every single person gets up to congratulate them, and most of them cry.

Anyway! after the speeches they all eat. and drink. there’s cake, but there’s also ice cream and pastries and a bowl of skittles that gets increasingly stick as it’s passed around, and people keep talking and keep laughing. Kokichi explicitly told DICE not to flirt with anyone, so naturally they do, with everyone, including Shuichi’s uncle, who is bemused at best. Shuichi has to run to set out a small fire at some point. 

A LIST OF GUESTS WHO CRY:

-Shuichi, choking up as soon as Kokichi reaches him and takes his hands, and then continuing to sniff for the rest of the evening and weep through all the speeches,

-Kiibo, all the way through the vows and uncontrollably,

-Kaito, pretending he isn’t, taking handkerchief after handkerchief from Kaede,

-Kaede, but politely, and she smiles the entire time

-all of DICE, at different points, but they all come up with increasingly stupid excuses for it,

-Korekiyo, who has to excuse himself after the ceremony- when Shuichi hunts him down, he expresses his apology for leaving and says he’s just too happy for them,

-Rantaro, a little, the second Kokichi looks up and wiggles his fingers to show off his ring,

-Miu, the entire way through her speech. Kokichi calls her a crybaby bitch halfway through when it looks like she might be about to break down completely, and that gives her enough strength to get through it,

-Tenko, but she won’t admit it,

-Himiko, openly, only a little bit because she wasn’t allowed to be the flower girl,

-Gonta. a lot. he is one of the happiest people there and he won’t stop crying. he’s embarrassed about it but he’s too happy to stop and he probably makes Kiibo start crying AGAIN at some point,

-Maki, oddly enough, but only when Kokichi and Shuichi move to go and dance. She tries to hide it and snaps at Kaito when he teases her, but when Kaede asks if she’s okay, because they all know she’s not the biggest fan of either Kokichi or the union, she quietly admits she’s crying about seeing Shuichi so happy.

and humiliatingly;

-Kokichi. a lot. through most of it. He gets halfway through his vows and he starts sobbing. Shuichi has to hold his hands to get him through it. He cries when DICE give their blessing and he cries when Shuichi’s uncle gruffly says he’s “a fine young man, though he doesn’t approve of his methods,” and he cries when he calls Miu a crybaby bitch and when Gonta hugs him and when Kiibo sobs into his shoulder and when Kaito musses up his hair and tells him to take care of Shuichi, and he cries through the kiss even though he’s smiling at the same time.

It’s hugely embarrassing to him and years later he refuses to admit to it ever happening despite the photographic evidence otherwise. Shuichi thinks it’s sweet- he’s proud that he managed to be that vulnerable around that many people. Kokichi has called him a slur after he expressed that sentiment.

There’s a last dance, though, after everyone has been dragged to various hotel rooms or passed out drunk, and they should clean up but instead they change the music to something slow- a waltz, maybe, with Shuichi adjusting the stupid cape and Kokichi reaching up to gently fix Shuichi’s tie (which has gotten a little rumpled by this point.) And they dance, with the lights a little lower and helium balloons sagging to the floor, and they dance. And maybe they repeat their vows- not the same words, but the same sentiments. Or maybe they don’t say anything at all.

There’s no first dance as such- music is played, and there’s wine, but Kaede is the first one to start dancing, dragging her date with her and tearing it up. Shuichi’s had a little too much attention, really, and he’s happy to sit back and chat a little more casually and hold Kokichi far too closely as they watch the others slowly migrate to the dancefloor. But after a while- when mostly everyone is dancing and his heart has stopped pounding quite so painfully, and he’s had just enough champagne to feel brave and Kokichi is looking so happy under the lights, he takes his hand and drags him over to the band and requests something- (i’m thinking the lovecats by the cure, both bc goth saihara rights and because it works very well for saiouma i think.) -and then he takes Kokichi’s hands again and they go dancing.

(and obviously everyone is staring at them now, because it’s their wedding, and with that cape how can you not- but Shuichi is too distracted to notice, or maybe too happy to feel self-conscious, and Kokichi is whispering something in his ear that makes him laugh and it’s kind of hard for everyone to look away from them, you know?)

Either way, when they get to their room they probably boink for a bit and then pass out only to be woken up late for their honeymoon two hours later by Rantaro, who knew this would happen and did warn them, and who receives a very nice postcard from France a few days later informing him that they made the flight. 

[if-found-return-to-gusu]

FIRST DAY ON THE JOB!!!

SO! I managed to get there just in time without ending up looking like a complete mess. Success number one!

I rushed most of the way on my skateboard, but then stopped about a block away so I could fix myself up again in the reflection of some other store’s window and hopefully make it look like I hadn’t been rushing.

Got in EXACTLY at 2 so perfect timing! And I was mostly not panting haha. Ah well. Lan Wangji was waiting for me to show up. I started to hug him by way of greeting, something I’ve grown quite fond of doing lately, but then realized

well shit.

He’s my boss isn’t he? Is that really appropriate? I mean it’s not like it’s some big chain or anything. Just a little cafe. And he’s the owner. But I mean is it okay? And while I was trying to figure out the more implications of wanting to date my boss he just took all that pressure away and hugged me himself!

That answers that ~♥ Hugs are a go! ♥♥♥

Uhhhh this is getting long and I’m too lazy to split it into two posts so this time we get a readmore. haha.

SO then he took me in back to show me the super fancy super secret back stage areas that are for (gasp) employees only!!! Of which I am!! So it’s allowed!!

Okay so it’s not that secret or overly fancy (though it’s super nice and clean though) but like he took me to this room in the back first so I could put away my stuff and there are these lockers there.

Okay

so they’re huge! I can fit my skateboard and probably  a large duffel bag in there and still have room for snacks!! (Something to keep in mind later if I need to rush over here with a change of clothes I can. <3)

But that’s not just it like

they’re white, yeah? (Lan Zhan likes white. I don’t know why. Impossible to keep clean. But to each their own and it’s not like he doesn’t make it WORK.) But like they’re not just white

they’re white with  A PURPOSE!! He showed me this stash of markers for decorating the lockers!

He gave me a blank canvas!!!!!! THAT I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT WITH AT ANY TIME!!!!!

(I saw Mianmian’s and QIn Su’s lockers were being used to write love letters to each other Can they get any CUTER??? I better get an invite to their wedding.... did.. did they tell me the date? I’ll have to ask Lan Zhan.

Oh speaking of, he’s got his locker just covered with pictures of the bunnies! It’s really super cute and probably pretty predictable for Lan Zhan but if there’s no space left over where am I supposed to leave my love notes???)

So clearly I’m going to come up with lots of fun stuff for my locker!!

OH also! I’m apparently only the 4th EVER employee?????????????????????

Or at least.... 4th employee currently working there. I guess there may have been people who left before I got here. didn’t ask.

But there are only 4 people who work here including the owner???? And this place is pretty popular! (as it should be.)

Wait I’m jumping ahead of myself..... where was I?

Hug. Lockers. bunnies..... Oh yes! Aprons!

Did you know that the employees get custom aprons? I mean like the style and color? (They’re all bunny themed of course. They’re embroidered with bun buns at the bottom) But like if you prefer one with big pockets, or like  a half apron, or like lace edges or something that’s what you get! In black or white!

Lan Zhan lent me a black one for now so that I wouldn’t ruin my clothes since I don’t have a uniform yet which is a really sweet thought even though my clothes are already so old anyway that it really wouldn’t matter.  (I put in my apron preference while submitting my clothing sizes).

So then it was tour time! I got to meet Qin Su who, SMALL FUCKING WORLD??, turns out to be Shijie’s peacock of a husband’s little half-sister?????

She’s really sweet though even if she’s related to the Jins. (seems she wasn’t raised by the jins directly. There’s clearly some family drama there but I didn’t pry. Her business)

But anway we were chatting a bit because she knows Shijie (!!!) and then MianMian swoooops in like a shining knight to tell me to keep my grubby mits off her fiance! (Oh that’s right. That’s how I knew they were getting married. No they have not told me when.)

So anyway. We went on tour, and I was told the rules and regulations. Most of the focus (understandably and correctly) was on the care of the bunnies. I have a little manual to go over and there are actually a lot of regulations to keep the bunnies safe and happy and healthy.  I’m def. gonna study that manual and I think I’m gonna research more on my own if I can. I really don’t want to mess it up. Maybe i’ll be able to get the bunnies to like me? OH speaking of the bunnies! I got to pet them!!! Lan Zhan introduced me to them all and he was holding them so they were all comfortable and secure and so they actually let me pet them!!!

They’re so sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooft!!!!!

We actually spent a lot of time on the bunnies now that I’m thinking back. I didn’t notice at the time because I was having such a good time!!! <3 <3 (Seriously. The dream job I never knew I wanted)

The rest of it was pretty standard. How to use the machines and the register. Nothign too complicated. Honestly a bit more up-to-date than my last serving job. And then I got some practice in with the customers. I was actually really nervous I’d get something wrong, but Lan Zhan was there with me the whole time so everything turned out fine.

(I couldn’t stop looking at him whenever we had a small moment. Part of it was because I wanted to make sure I was doing it right but honestly it was more for the sake of seeing him so close to me. I’ll never stop feeling blessed to be this close to him.)

Then it was break time (Or in other words time to follow Lan Zhan around everywhere with a wiggly egg. Will the wiggly egg make you love me Lan Zhan? Will it be OUR wiggly egg? The wiggy egg that makes the jiggly sound of our love????)

Rest of the day kinda followed the course until we closed up. But then after we closed up shop for the evening, he invited me upstaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiirs. To hang out and have dinnnerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr agaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan!!!!!! So Naturally I accepted immediately without a second thought!

(Well technically he invited me to spend the night (???!!!!!!) but I had to decline. Partially because I wasn’t sure this poor little heart of mine could take another night of so little sleep (because there ain’t no way I can sleep knowing he’s so close and NOT holding me???) but also because I needed to beat the shit out of Jiang Cheng. Which I did. )

Nothing embarrassing happened this time! We had a normal dinner. (Just leftovers but they were delicious anyway)

We just talked a lot. I don’t really remember what we talked about. How my first day went? I don’t remember. But it was warm and soft and safe. I really didn’t want to leave.

But I did.

And then when I got home after teaching my dear Shidi a lesson, I took some time to study and dick around here with you guys.

OH YEAH AND SANGSANG BETRAYED ME. IDK IF YOU’RE READING THIS NIE HUAISANG BUT UR STILL A JERK.

Honestly not much to say about day two because I was pretty tired for most of it. I had to learn how to do the morning shift so I had to wake up so eearrrlllyyyy.

I must have done okay though because I wasn’t told not to come back haha. I mean it’s admittedly nice to get off so early but I’m so tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiired.

Somehow this seems less coherent than usual... Ugh. I think I’m gonna take a nap. Might have more to add later but for now I need the zeeeees.

[ineffablefool]

Some meditations on being a fat human being, in the era of Good Omens series fandom.  Not n//sf/w, really (hi my name is Jack I’m ace and supremely uninterested in sexytimes), but really personal and also long, so I’ll stick it behind a readmore.  I suppose if another fat human being had thoughts they wanted to tack on, they could reblog to do so, but I don’t expect this to be a particularly rebloggable thing.  Just thinkin’ out loud (via clickety fingies).

I have been... okay, more or less, with how my body looks, for a while.  (Minus all the things about it that make me get “she” and “her” and “ma’am” everywhere I go, with exactly three glorious exceptions in the ~4 years since I realized that those weren’t right.  That is a whole ‘nother bucket of bears.)  I’ve been on Tumblr over on my main account since 2013, and the entire time I’ve been immersing myself in fat positivity and in fat activism by wonderful accounts like ok2befat and bigfatscience and thisisthinprivilege.  So I’ve been basically okay. 

It sucks how hard it is to find clothing that I like which doesn’t completely exclude my particular set of proportions.  It sucks that my saint of a boss had to literally fight our HR department to change the company policy on flights for business, because the previous policy would have forced me to fly 18 hours in an economy-class seat much smaller than I am when I visit India in a couple months.  It sucks that my body is still the “oh, is this disgusting thing a dealbreaker for you” question on dating websites, and that it’s still the butt of every third Trump joke.  It sucks.  But I’ve gotten better over the years at the skill of seeing my body as not the problem, but an innocent bystander in everyone else’s bullshit.  Clothing and plane seats and humor don’t spring from the earth to be harvested and consumed raw.  People decide how to make them.  People can decide differently.

Anyway.  I’ve been pretty much okay with Body.  Body’s fine.  It’s a good pal.  It gets me where I need to be, and it lets me run around in little circles pretending to be an airplane when I’m bored.  I spend some time with it in partial states of undress now and then (I’m too much of a germaphobe to ever be a naturist, let’s put it that way), just so I can keep myself familiar with what it really looks like.  Y’know how the horror movie monster is really scary up until they actually show it?  Same thing, except fewer blood squibs.

But here’s all this Good Omens stuff.

A lot of the fandom has embraced the slight pudginess of Michael Sheen’s Aziraphale, and a lot of artists are putting that into their work.  And a blessed wonderful few aren’t stopping there.  They’re drawing Aziraphales that are more than just a tiny bit pudgy, sometimes that are just plain fat, unquestionably, not just “a little larger than the very thin rendition of Crowley” or “wearing a lot of layers” or “the clothes are just cut that way”.  Really, really adorable renditions of fat angels who are clearly loveable and clearly loved because look, the artist drew them together, Crowley is right there and he doesn’t have that look on his face by accident.

(There are book renditions floating around too where people have headcanoned a fatter Aziraphale, but I’m still talking miniseries right now.  Also, there are plenty of sort of... cartoony/stylized/silly renditions out there with fatter Aziraphales, but I’m not really talking about those either.  There’s a sort of area of artwork where the style or the scene being depicted is such that my brain is surprised when any of the characters is fat, because this is a pretty drawing of two people kissing or whatever and therefore obviously they have to both be thin.  Obviously.  Internalized fatphobia nonsense.  But that’s the kind of artwork I’m thinking when I type all these zillions of words.)

And that’s a choice, to say “I’m an artist and I’m going to draw this character who is worth being the recipient of a 6000-year-long love, and that character is fat, and that’s just how it is”.  And to keep doing it in one piece of art after the other.

speremint was the first artist I noticed doing this, drawing an Aziraphale who is loved by Crowley (the sacred apple tree art still cracks me up, poor Crowley) and who is definitely fat and who is adorable, and if you’ve read the notes on any of my fics you know that she singlehandedly changed how I picture my headcanon’d Aziraphale.  Then I discovered that dotstronaut and lonicera-caprifolium and toastedbuckwheat are out there too, giving me lovely art to shove into my eyeballs and extend my lifespan potentially indefinitely.  I bet there’s more I haven’t noticed yet.  I want there to be like a hundred more I haven’t noticed yet.

And this all ticks over into the second half of what’s apparently a manifesto at this point, boy it’s a good thing I’m a fast typist, which is the fact that in addition to being a fat human, I am also romantically and aesthetically attracted to fat humans.  It’s something I’ve pretty much literally had no opportunity to ever express, because in my Real Life I don’t really admit to having feelings per se and also I am... not the type of human who is the recipient of romantic thoughts from others.  Or who would ever act on my own unless the other party said something first.  (Which nobody ever has since 2006, you guys.  Supremely not the recipient of romance over here.)

So there’s this fandom environment where a fat character is being celebrated and loved, and I started writing fanfiction for the first time this century, and all of a sudden there’s a place for me to express feelings that I’ve been sitting on since I finally realized in about 2001 what it was about that one guy in high school that made me want to hug him, even though I also couldn’t stand his attitude.

Going through my fics from oldest to most recent, it is clear that I am getting more and more comfortable with that expression.  It’s getting ridiculous.  At this rate, in three weeks’ time I’m just going to be writing “Aziraphale is fat and beautiful and I just want to cuddle his belly forever” over and over again for five thousand words at a stretch.

But that means Brain is thinking a lot about how Aziraphale is fat, and beautiful, and perfect exactly how he is.  And then Brain looks down at Body and is like “hmm.  Same hat.  ineffablefool is fat too.  Therefore, [insert math lady meme here]”.  And I will be, like, “okay, so if Crowley were to put his hand on Aziraphale’s belly, what would that feel or look like?  How would his internal narration describe it?  Well, there’s a belly right here, let’s do some science.”  And then the thoughts that I start associating with the experience of my own body are completely good thoughts, all of them, because they’re going to be going in Crowley’s head.  And my written Crowley is never going to be anything other than madly in asexual romantic love with my written Aziraphale, and is never going to see him as anything other than perfect, physically, no matter what he looks like.

And it’s just being a really good positive feedback mechanism, I guess is the tl;dr version.  External validation (via art, via others’ fics, via comments on my own fics, btw if you’ve left any of those then you are also helping extend my lifespan, especially the people who come back to comment on each new story, yes I recognize you and I do a little happy dance every time a familiar name pops up, please rejoin me on Monday I’m going to post my dickwheelie letters fic) is all well and good.  But the mental loop of “own body can be used for realistic descriptions of a fat body -> descriptions based on own body are all lovingly positive -> own body is therefore described by self as lovingly positive” is... it’s nice, is what I’m saying.  It’s very nice.  Last week I expressed, out loud in a group of coworkers, my desire that something be more size-inclusive.  Do you even know how many deaths I would once have suffered rather than say something like that in mixed company.  But why shouldn’t I say it!  There’s nothing wrong with my being fat!  In fact, it’s within the realm of possibility to see it as a positive thing, so let’s just all admit that we have eyes and then move on!  Geez!

So those are some of my thoughts on being a fat human being, in the era of Good Omens series fandom.

now if I can just score a hot fat ace Ineffable Significant Other out of this fandom, I’ll be set

[bomberqueen17]

So the camera store I work for sometimes (half-time in the summer, full-time at Christmas) used to sell drones-- you know, the annoying miniature quadcopters with a camera on a gimbal hanging off the base, that everyone was flying everywhere for a hot minute, sounding like leafblowers in the sky but taking kind of cool videos--- and then we stopped selling drones because they’re a nightmare to sell and the manufacturer is a fucking pile of disaster and the customer relationships are *thumbs down*. (Think about it fundamentally: you take an expensive camera and then throw it into the sky and rely on some amateur’s video-game skills to keep from dropping it? How often does that go well? I mean, more often than it should, but there’s gonna be a high failure rate and then they’re gonna want to blame somebody for them having just literally thrown $1500 at the ground from a great height.)

But we were cleaning the store and found one. (Readmore: me vs a Phantom III Standard from DJI, with bloodshed. But, tl;dr, maybe I’ll make a video!)

 It had been sold, and returned as defective, which is like the story of our entire experience as a drone dealer, and mostly they got returned because they’re hard to use, and also significantly it was because people just want to rent them, and Amazon forces you to take returns even if it is super clear that people are just buying and returning your shit to be free rentals. (We charged a lot of restocking fees but it was still not worth it. You know the profit margin on those things is like. Five dollars. It’s fucking ridiculous, it’s literally low-single-digit percentage points, and one bad return [if the customer pitches a fit, amazon usually just gives them back all their money even if they’re in the wrong, it’s super fucking tedious] can wipe out your profits on fifteen sales. PLUS those heavy-ass signature-confirmation-needing fuckers cost like $25+ to ship, and nobody ever wants to pay shipping. There’s a reason most of the independent electronics stores went out of business and it’s the *jazz hands* profit margins!!!!)

So we had this used “”””’defective”””””’ drone on the shelf for like. Two years. Because the pile of disaster manufacturer wouldn’t take bought-this-to-rent-it returns back as defectives. And we didn’t really have the means to test them anyway. So we’d say it was defective because the customer said it was, but then we couldn’t prove it really was, and a bunch of the time they just wouldn’t give us our money back and we were screwed.

Anyway this thing had a post-it on it that said “bad gimbal”. My coworker said, “Are you busy? Can you just... find out if it’s really a bad gimbal, or whatever? We’re going to have to sell the thing as-is on eBay or something and hope we can recoup some of the cost, because we can’t send it back and it’s old now, and knowing what’s actually wrong would let us sell it for a much more precise amount of money to someone who’s less likely to return it.”

(For us, who largely eke out our continued existence on a combo of in-store printing and services, and online sales of used equipment, because new electronics don’t turn a profit, “sell as-is on eBay” is a kind of purgatory. It’s a great way to get rid of junk, but it’s also a great way to have to sell something super-valuable-if-repaired for basically the cost of shipping and fees and if you’re lucky there’s some left over to pay you for the time you spent testing it, taking photos of it, and putting it into the box, which doesn’t really keep the lights on long-term, y’know? It’s also a great way to wind up having to pay return shipping on something worthless until you’re entirely underwater on the sale, if you can’t get the description just right. My coworker has been eBaying shit since 1999 so he’s got this down to a science.)

So... I got this drone out of the box. I screwed the propellors onto it. I checked the battery levels. Dead. So I charged the battery, and I charged the remote controller battery. I discovered that the remote control antenna was broken but could be reattached. I went through the enclosed papers and discovered that the manual was missing, as was part of the charging cable, though enough was there that I could cobble together spare parts.

I also discovered that whoever’d rented it had left a 32GB MicroSD card in it. Ehhhhh, not bad. It’s missing a prop blade, though it does come with spares so it’s usable as-is, and one of the existing blades is discolored and scratched, and there are some scratches on the chassis. It was clearly crashed, though not severely.

Ill-advisedly, not really understanding what was going on, I did try to make it take off indoors-- it says it’ll go to 3.9 feet and hover, what’s the harm there? Fortunately for me it didn’t work, so I had to find the manual online and read it and not understand it and then watch some incredibly boring videos that did not explain anything very well at all and spent way too long with a guy acting like my 5yo niece with a front-facing camera, clearly looking at himself and enjoying talking. Eyeroll. 

I did absorb a few things through sheer osmosis, and the number one thing I figured out was that it needed a firmware update before it would even deign to move the propellers. So I did that, and then it was time to go home, so I took it home to keep working on it, because at least I’d gotten the memo that making this thing take off indoors was a Bad Idea.

So I got it home, and figured out how to get the propellors back on, got it all configured, and then I was on my back porch which has a sloped ten-foot ceiling, and I figured, ok, I’ll get it to hover for a second.

BAD IDEA. It says it’ll go to 3.9 feet and then maintain position. It got to about eight before I leapt and grabbed it, not knowing what else to do; it was gonna go straight through the ceiling. Now, one of the things I’d read had even said, its margin of error is about twelve feet, so you can’t be anywhere that twelve feet matters, and I did not even think that would apply at a stationary hover, but oh boy does it.

So I panicked and threw it out the door, and it bobbled wildly around my backyard and I frantically stabbed the “LAND NOW” button on the app, and it did not, and did not, and did not, and I had to grab it again when it headed for the powerlines, but then it did settle into a landing configuration, drifted straight into a plant, I had to poke it, it landed and then freaked out at me because the grass was touching the camera gimbal.

Anyone who has ever used one of these things is surely laughing their ass off at me, but listen, I don’t think in vertical ways. I thought, “my porch has a ton of room”, and then I also thought, “my backyard super has room”, and then I looked up and there is a crisscross of powerlines covering my entire yard in a tight grid at about ten feet of height. And the “hover at 3.9 feet” function means ten feet at a wild bobble. These fuckers aren’t like. I mean. They’re precise but they’re flying, flying isn’t that precise, there’s wind. 

I acquired a great little war wound in this process-- my left forearm clearly contacted a propeller at some point, and it ripped out two chunks of skin and bruised me all the way down to the muscle. I had to put a gauze pad over it and then an icepack over that, it was very nostalgic; I’m no longer at a point in my life where I routinely bruise the absolute fuck out of myself on the regular anymore, but I was recently enough that I still have a fridge full of ice packs. (Ten years of roller derby, baby, and fencing before that, and as a kid it was horses. I absolutely know when to ice it and how many days until it turns black. I’m thinking this one is going to be max impressive about Wednesday. I’ll have to make a point to freak someone out with it.)

So. I brought it back to work and took it out into the vacant lot by the parking lot, with a freshly printed-out copy of the user’s manual that I’d done my best to read. (When I was twenty, I could’ve read this, but at thirty-nine I cannot comprehend a fucking paragraph, this is the sheer hell of undiagnosed female ADHD of the distraction subtype, I am unable to digest technical manuals at all anymore and it’s frustrating as fuck. I have to try to do it before I can begin to understand the instructions, and that works better when it’s not a flying death machine that will end us all.)

I got it to take off and hover at “three point nine” (10) feet, and I got it to turn around, I got it to move left and right and forward and backwards, I got it to take a video and several stills (I can’t get the video to transfer to my phone, but I did watch it, and it’s hilarious, I look enormously lumpy and confused and stare at the drone a lot as it gyrates in the parking lot, and someone drives by slow behind me that I didn’t notice and is clearly like “what is that woman’s problem and is that a flying leafblower?”). And then I got it to land, which is the part I was worried about, so. Clearly the controller works, the app works, the gimbal works, it reads a memory card. Whoever rented it had just dinged it up and was miffed and wanted to send it back. (Or, y’know, the event they wanted it for was over and so they were done with their fee-free rental, because they’re big fucking mooches. Eyeroll.)

So. 

The one thing I can’t figure out how to do is to get it to change altitude. There’s got to be a control for that but I have no idea what it is. The only way I got it to go up or down is with the auto take off and auto land functions. So I’ll have to reread. (The one video showed how to do a manual takeoff but that was the most boring one and I cannot make myself watch that man stare at himself admiringly in the camera any more.) 

I’m going to take it to the farm this week, to test it more, but we all know this is because I am going to buy it, and my coworker is going to sell it to me for as little as his conscience will let him. So we’ll see.

[firespirited]

some unusual things took up my spare time this week: long post hidden under the readmore.

*My camera is a kodak early bridge with that very important “image stabilisation” bit, it recharges fast once a week and resets to 2008. I pop out the card and stick it into the computer all handy dandy. it handles shake really well and the lens is amazing, my doll photos often look like ass but when I meet a cool bug or flower it’s up for the job no problems.

So there’s this plastic dial to change modes and lately it’s been switching on me. Eventually the camera went haywire no matter what: constantly switching modes. I attempted to clean it again with the toothpick Qtips and a brush, still switching. So I put a spudger in the side and popped it out...but it’s a not a piece that’s supposed to come out, the “dial” is now a 4mm diametre by 0.5mm high snapped sprue. At least it’s stopped constantly switching and is now stuck on macro unless I rotate it with my nail ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. So I spent hours looking at cameras (including just bookmarking the one I have secondhand because everything’s so expensive and a bajillion numbers to compare like batteries that are the last piece of info you get) long story short I cut down bits off the the dial and superglued the dial bit to the sprue with great care and it’s working again. I love this camera more than ever.

*Lost use of my legs in the bath because a cramp was blocking some nerves so i just had to keep warm for as long as it took for meds to kick in. That meant washing my hair on a different day.

*I’m trying to wear shoes to strengthen my back as I’ve been leaning forward too much. shoes are somehow both too tight and too loose everywhere. Balance is all over the place. But i need this. it’s step 1 to being able to be upright for any period of time and actually walk more than a 10-20 steps. Feet are loud complainers.

*Nextdoor neighbour lost her elderly sister so mum went round as soon as she heard crying to check she was ok and give her hugs. There’s been lots of family visits since so we’ve been able to train Talia to not woof at hallway noises, this is a good opportunity but also means constantly having to get up and reward the dog for “no woofing” and jumping at the noise because Talia is 200%, she’s putting her whole body into it, she becomes the embodiment of fury, “fight me in the parking lot right now” energy. Usually this would be fine but we’re all so frayed down the the edge you know?

Okay, on to cool videos watched recently:

Twin Rabbit is a native American (?) anthropologist/sociologist with insight that’ll make you rethink everything you thought you knew, also does hilarious accents and leaves a bunch of links to follow rabbit holes in his wake

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC_7FDEMkBBWWcol7QPzToaw/featured

Hakim did this “North Korea is wierd” video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EzDhqXuELjo&list=LL&index=8 I’d already been pondering some wierd narratives i’d seen around the squid game reviews and seen a video on debunking american ideas about vietnam and my brain was tick tick ticking like “sounds like Cuba all over again” and of course it’s nuanced and complicated but you can have multiple facets of a story at once: I have ex-east german, polish and vietnamese friends since childhood and have met ukrainians and belarusians in the past few years. Some have strong binary feelings about politics and others are working on, how do i put this, a sort of patchwork-framework where you can salvage good things from ideologies and try and pinpoint where it broke and how to reconcile that with living in capitalist countries with weak socialist movements that paint your old country as “bad”. You end up having to rename stuff to reclaim it and having the vocab to do so really helps.

Special interest dump time: I was living very precariously around the 2008 crash and it seemed wild that somehow “americans not buying houses” would tank the worldwide economy. It seemed just so fake everytime I heard it on the news or in documentaries with the stupid pictures of vacant houses. Over the next few years as investigative journalists got their teeth into the real story I read and watched everything I could get my hands on; US, UK, french economy since WW2. I’ve never liked economics, remembered nothing from school and I hated every moment of this, every theorist and every bloody official involved but I absorbed it all until derivatives and the domino chain of events made complete sense. (Of note: I did the same about facebook and data mining and machine learning a few years ago) So this long, jargon dense video by Folding Ideas about NFTs had me hooked when he started out by mentioning the subprime mortgage scam: https://youtu.be/YQ_xWvX1n9g?list=LL, eventually i’d love a more detailed profile of the average nft griftees, if they were already susceptible to gambling, MLMs and lootcrates, what kind of community grooms them to invest in crypto to begin with. Halt and Catch Fire, The Social Network and the Netscape documentaries Valley of the boom and Code Rush go into what kind of people can and can’t afford to put their money into silicon valley and who’s in it for profit, idealism or just scammed. I can’t think of the names right now but there are either documentaries, video essays or very long form pieces on Peter Thiel, the winklevoss dudes along with with various “non fungible” investor projects like theranos and video game kickstarters over the years.

I have no money and count every penny and yet how very rich people play with money heartlessly is fascinating in a sort of gruesome watching animals hunt other animals way.

Finally “I’m not sorry” by Tyler Willis is a fabulous and prescient takedown of callout culture, the fact that it’s a woman in the frilliest garb imaginable with razor sharp wit just makes it so much better. january 2021! a whole year before Lindsay Ellis quit and people started to think a little.

[girlvinland]

thoughts on subcultures? in general or something specific? (also extra credit question, top 3 faves?)

Putting under a readmore bc it got long…

Ooh. Ok first question. I (mostly) love subcultures as a whole. For me, they’ve always been a way to find like-minded people with similar interests - that can be difficult, especially where I live right now. I understand that many subcultures have problems with elitism, but honestly, that’s anywhere. There are always going to be gatekeepers in any group your join or activity you participate in, and you just have to ignore that kind of behavior and enjoy the subculture for yourself. I feel like if it’s something you’re /really/ into, elitism won’t be much of a deterrent and you’ll probably find other people who feel the same way.

My top 3 favs…

Obviously my number one right now is EGL (lolita). I haven’t been into it for a long as many people (it’s been about 4-5 years now), but it REALLY helped me with being more confident and making new friends. Like, I think any kind of alternative fashion subculture can help with confidence, because you’re putting yourself out there in “abnormal” ways and you just have to learn to own it at some point. I’ve had a lot of great opportunities with lolita, like traveling to places I might not otherwise go and being in fashion shows of big brands, and it’s been really fun. Also, many of my friends in my comm share similar interests with me outside of lolita, so we can hang out without wearing the clothes and still have a good time. There /is/ often a lot of drama, but like I said, I think that’s just everywhere. The history of lolita is pretty interesting, too, and is rooted not only in the clothing, but in music as well. 

Number two, and I feel like this is something that is still kind of emerging but that I’m really glad for, is a subculture that’s really focused on the aesthetic surrounding post-apocalyptic clothing and environments. I REALLY want to go to Wasteland Weekend SO fucking bad, because I feel like it’s one of the only large events for this type of thing. I know there are also LARPs with this theme but unfortunately the only two in my state aren’t really active anymore. Who knows if this stuff will stick around long-term because it’s not something rooted in music (which I feel tend to be the most long-standing subcultures), although fiction seems to play a large role. I still really love it and want to do more with it. Thankfully there are a growing number of stores that at least cater to the aesthetic (if nothing else). That being said, I hope I made it clear I’m not talking about those doomsday type of people because I’m not someone preparing for the actual apocalypse down in my bunker.

Thirdly, I want to say goth but it’s just such  BIG subculture I feel the need to narrow it down to at least a general style/music type, so I want to say trad goth is my absolute favorite within the entire subculture. If I could get away with incorporating more of the aesthetic into my life, I would, but I’m not sure how it would go over at work (we don’t have a real dress code, but I still feel the need to look somewhat professional since we get a lot of visiting scientists/lawyers/politicians/etc.). The music from the associated time period is some of my favorite and I love the look and meaning that goth had back then, when it wasn’t about fitting in (now it feels like with goth you have to adhere to this strict set of guidelines which imo completely goes against what it once was). Idk, this is kind of how I feel too regarding old-school lolita from the 90s or early 2000s (although it started earlier than that). There was a feel of just not caring about what the outside world thought and being so invested in the culture of what you were doing that you lived and breathed it. 

I could go on longer but I think I’ll stop here lol, ty for the question

[27dragons]

So if you wanted some prompts I have some for AvAc Winteriron: 1) Bucky is crushing hard on Tony and is irrationally jealous of Misty, whose arm Tony made her. He also wants an arm spesifically made for him by Tony! Even if the one he has is working perfectly fine already!

2) After arriving at the Academy, Bucky is shown around by Tony, and is really drawn to him. He’s so impressed by everything Tony has done for the academy (not that Tony likes to mention it, he only does so in passing as if it isn’t important), and after staying there for a while he is slightly horrified by how some people treat him/take advantage of him all the time.

3) Every new song Bucky writes has subtle hints about how he is in love with Tony, not that Tony ever notices. Janet, however, does, and confronts Bucky about it to be sure he won’t break Tony’s heart, because she knows how Tony feels about Bucky as well.

These were so cute, I combined all three. This is nearly 6k, so ‘ware the readmore! (I’ll put it up on Ao3 as soon as I get a chance, for easier reading/bookmarking…)

—

“Hi,welcome to Avengers Academy!”

Buckyturned toward the voice, wary. When someone said “welcome” atHydra, it usually meant they were planning to humiliate you or getthe drop on you with an ambush.

Well,they could try. The Winter Soldier had carved out a niche of respectat Hydra, and he would make one here, if he had to.

“Usuallyit’s Jan or Pepper doing the welcome tour, but Pep’s offinterviewing some potential recruits and Jan’s right in the middleof planning next month’s parties, so I said I’d do it. So hi,welcome – I said that already, didn’t I? – um, I’m Tony Stark,nice to meet you!”

Buckylooked him over. Tony Stark had armored boots and a gauntlet on hisextended hand, and was wearing a garish red and yellow jacket overskin-tight jeans. Those jeans did not look practical for combat, butthey did an excellent job of showing off Tony’s legs. Tony hadartfully fluffy hair that made Bucky want to mess it up, and ascraggly attempt at facial hair that was kind of cute in its utterfailure. He’d started off with a bright smile, but it was beginningto fade, a crease forming between his eyebrows.

“Uh,okay,” Tony said, dropping the extended hand and rubbing it on hisother arm uncertainly. “So you’re the Winter Soldier, huh? Isthat… what you want us to call you? I mean, most everyone’s got acodename and, you know, a real name, but we’re pretty divided onwhat we want people to call us. I’m Tony and Jan is Jan and Pepperis Pepper unless she’s reallymadat you in which case she’s Ms. Potts. But you should see how madEnchantress gets if you try to call her Amora, and man, do notcallHulk Bruce, he smashes extrahardif you do that. And ‘Spider-Man’ thinks he’s maintaining asecret identity, so we pretty much humor him and call him that ifhe’s got his mask on, you know?”

Buckyconsidered this. “Names are nothing but words / it is the soulwithin that hurts,” he tried. Not the best meter or rhyme, butthere was a theme there worth exploring.

Tonystared at him blankly for a moment. “Um. So you’re… cool withwhatever, I guess. Okay. Well, I’m supposed to show you around thecampus, so come on, I’ll make sure you know where everythingimportant is!”

Tonyled Bucky around the campus in a wide arc. Bucky already knew thecampus layout, of course, having studied it in preparation forattack. But it was very different, seeing things with his own eyes,and Tony’s constant stream of chatter was often amusing.

“Twonightclubs, in fact,” Tony was saying proudly. “There’s theGalaxy club there–” He pointed toward a garish neon building.“–and the Guardians put on a mean death metal show, I gotta say.But a lot of us prefer something a little more homey, and that’sClub A. Pool table, jukebox, great dance floor.” He looked sidelongat Bucky, then shrugged. “Cap spends a lot of time in there, so…”

Buckydidn’t let himself wince, but he wanted to. His feelings about Cap– Steve – were… complicated. But Tony was looking at himhopefully, waiting for some sort of reaction, and Bucky was oddlydisinclined to disappoint him. “The bartender is a robot,” heobserved.

“What?Oh, yeah, I made him.”

“Byyourself?” It took – hadtaken–a team of three Hydra scientists to merely perform maintenance on Bucky’sarm.

“Oh,sure, robots are easy. The challenging bit was upgrading him so itdidn’t cause any long-term damage when his head comes off.”

Buckystared at Tony.

Tonyshrugged. “Crossbones keeps ripping his head off, and I don’tknow how many times I’ve tried to tell him they don’t like that,but he won’t listen, so it seemed easier to just make it so itwouldn’t hurt them too much, you know?” Bucky had no trouble believingthat. Crossbones was… unpleasant. It wasn’t enough for him toaccomplish his missions. He made it personal.

Tonywas still talking about the robot. “… already had someeasy-repair joints for the robots at the blasting range, so I justhad to find a way to–”

Nowthatsoundedlike something Bucky would enjoy. “Blasting range?” He swung hisfavorite rifle off his shoulder. “Show me.”

Tony’ssmile was all teeth. “This way.”

Janfound Tony in the library. She was supposed to be studyingentomology, which was usually one of her favorite subjects, but shecouldn’t help watching Tony. He was listlessly turning page afterpage without even really looking at what was on them. Instead, hisgaze kept drifting out the window toward the food court.

Maybehe was hungry; it wouldn’t be the first time Tony had gottenwrapped up in what he was working on and forgotten to eat. Though hedidn’t look particularly absorbed now, which meant he was brooding.Stewing. Maybe even sulking.

Janbrought up the social media aggregator on her phone and scrolledthrough it with a few flicks of her fingers. There had to be a reasonTony was acting so weird. He hadn’t gotten into a fight with Stevefor weeks; Jan had personally been making sure to take down all ofProfessor Pym’s posts on the message board calling for “volunteers”for his electricity experiments (honestly, Pym was cute but sometimeskind of thoughtless); there weren’t any new selfies from Crossbonesposing with Club A’s headless bartender or from Hulk showing off astolen cheese fridge.

Janscowled at her phone. If social media was failing her, it had to besomething huge. The last time Tony had been this listless was whenhe’d been moping about his dad, but he didn’t have thatguilty/anxious look that always gave him. The only other thing Jancould recall was when he’d been trying to convince Natasha to datehim and Nat had been–

Wait.

Waitwait wait.

Thatwasn’t Tony’s sulkingface.That was pining.

Janclapped both hands over her mouth so he wouldn’t hear her squee ofexcitement and realize she was watching him. This was something shecould help with! She would have to be crafty. Subtle. Tony sometimesobjected to her help.

First,she had to figure out who it was. She couldn’t have someoneunworthyattachedto her best friend.

Subtle,she reminded herself. She shrank down into her Wasp form and flittedthrough the library to land on Tony’s shoulder. “Hi!”

Tonyflinched a little at the buzz of her wings, but relaxed when he sawit was her. “Hey, Jan. Were you going to try to study? I can clearout.”

“Nah,I’ve got some entomology homework, but it’ll wait.” Shecritically examined the stitching on the collar of his jacket. It wasstarting to fray; she’d have to make him a new one soon. Heroeswere so hard on their clothes. “So, who’re we spying on?” Shepeered through the window, trying to see who was in the food courtthat Tony might be watching.

“I’mnot spying on anyone,” Tony said. Jan could heartheeye-roll; she was definitely on the right track.

MariaHill was at the coffee kiosk, but– ew, no. She was far too seriousfor Tony, and didn’t have much in the way of fashion sense, either.Tigra ran past, but she was obviously on her way to a fashion shootor an important nap or something, not someone Tony had been watchingfor the last half hour while pretending to read up on the latestengineering developments. Anyway, Tigra had a huge crush on Cap.Misty Knight was considering her options for lunch, but if Tony had acrush on Misty, Jan would’ve thought she’d have noticed earlier,since Tony had been working on Misty’s artificial arm for months.

Pepperand Kamala were chatting in the line for the shwarma stand, butKamala was basically everyone’s kid sister, and while Tony flirtedendlessly with Pepper, everyone – including Tony and Pepper – knewthere was nothing to that. Natasha was deep in discussion with Union Jackon one of the benches, probably listing all the different ways theycould kill a man with the hot dog she was holding. But Tony waspretty much over Natasha these days, Jan thought.

Ormaybe it was Union Jack? Jan considered that for a moment. Union Jack wasabout as gay as a guy could be without actually skipping everywhereand leaving daisy petals in his wake, and he’d never tried to hidethe way his eyes lingered on Tony sometimes. But Tony had alreadyturned him down (except for the body shots thing, and no one wascounting that),so it wasn’t him, either.

“Jan,”Tony sighed. “Really, it’s nothing.”

“Don’tbe an idiot,” Jan said, patting his ear. “You’re not that goodof an actor. This will go much faster if you just tell me who you’reso obsessed with!” Well, she’d never been that good at subtle, anyway.

Tonygroaned and nearly unseated her by dropping his face into his hands.Jan hovered for a moment and then re-settled on his shoulder,frowning out the window. “Come on,” she wheedled. “Don’t makeme beat it out of you. Is it Misty?”

“No,”Tony groaned.

“Areyou chasing Natasha again?”

“No.”

Janwas running out of options. “God, don’t tell me it’s Maria,”she begged.

Tonylifted his head to give her a disgusted look. “She’s even lessfun than Cap,” he protested. “Why would I even.”

“That’swhat I thought, but– Ooh, did you change your mind about Union Jack?”She could work with that. He was super-cute, and his colors wouldblend acceptably with Tony’s for couple-themed events. “I mean, Iknow you want everyone to think you’re straight, but–”

“Iamstraight,”Tony said firmly.

“Youdated Loki,”Jan pointed out.

“Onlyfor a couple of weeks,” Tony pouted. He dropped his face back intohis hands. “Anyway, Loki’s a girl sometimes.”

“Thatmight make you lessstraight,not more,”Jan mused. “We’ve talkedaboutthis, Tony. It’s good you want to make your dad proud and all, buthiding who you are is not the way to go about it! It’s not like hecan disown you for being bisexual.”

Tonywas quiet for a long minute, but the back of his neck was turningred. “Pansexual,” he corrected in the tiniest voice Jan had everheard from him. “I think.”

“Youdon’t have to know for sure,” she said, and patted his ear again.“I won’t out you, I promise.” He didn’t lift his head though,so Jan went back to looking out the window. “Except I still don’tknow who it is you’re–”

Oh.

Oh.

OH.

Tonywasn’t looking at anyone in the food court after all. Past the foodcourt was the Quad. And on the Quad was the Winter Soldier, soulfullystrumming his guitar.

“Ohmy god.”

“Jan–”

“Ohmy god.”

“Don’t.”

“You’vegot a crush on BuckyBarnes.”

Tonygroaned, but didn’t deny it, which was confirmation enough for Jan.She was so excited that she couldn’t resist zipping around the rooma few times, trailing a barely-repressed “Eeeeeeee!” ofexcitement behind her like a banner. “Ohmigodohmigodohmigod!”

“Itdoesn’t matter,” Tony said, voice muffled by his hands. “Hebarely even lookedatme the whole time we were on the school tour. And maybe I’m notstraight, but he hastobe.”

“Whydoes he have to be straight?”

Tonygave her a despairing look. “He’s Captain Perfect’s best friendfrom the Stone Ages! Rogers is so straight that even my dad wouldprobably tell him to relax a little.”

Janfolded her arms and gave Tony her best glare. The one she practicedin the mirror to use on Enchantress, and people who mixed plaids.“Anthony Edward Stark, are you suggesting that straight andnot-straight people can’t be friends?”

“No!”Tony backpedaled. “He’s just so…” He trailed off, looking atBucky through the window again. Bucky had put his guitar away and wasplaying catch with a football-throwing device now.

Janwatched with Tony for a moment. “…Dreamy?” she suggested slyly.

“Yeah…”Tony shook himself, then shoved her, playfully. “Stop that! Youknow what I mean.”

Jandid know. There were a handful of students at the Academy who wereout of the closet, but not many. Certainly not as many as,statistically, there should have been. But that didn’t make it anyeasier to ask someone out, not knowing if they even liked whateveryou were. “Lucky for you,” Jan said, “you have me.I’ll find out for you!”

“Youwill?” The look of gratitude on Tony’s face was a testament totheir friendship. Or to his desperation. She wasn’t sure which.

TheQuad was a great place to hang out. It was wide open, not crammedwith buildings and other clutter. There was always a quiet spot forBucky to work on his music or practice throwing and catching.

Sometimes,there would be a new prospective student in the Quad, looking aroundand talking to everyone who passed. New students made the Academystronger, more able to stand against their enemies, so that was okay,even if Bucky didn’t always trust the candidates, especially theones who had recently fought against the Academy. Perhaps that washypocritical. But Bucky knew his own reasons for turning against hisformer institution. He didn’t know theirs.

Therewas frequently a challenger in the Quad as well, daring Academystudents to fight them. Sometimes, they triumphed, but Bucky’sclassmates banded together again and again, relentless and fierce,until the challenger retreated in disgrace. Bucky had not yet beencalled to stand against a challenger, but he took satisfaction inrefusing to allow them to disrupt his routine, in continuing to workout on the Quad, and showing off his arm so that the challengerscould see it and know what they might face.

(Hewasn’t the only one who enjoyed such tactics. The alien woman,Gamora, would sit on one of the benches for hours at a time, honingher sword and flipping it into the air, her cold gaze lockedrelentlessly on the challenger as it fell easily back into her hand.The Wakandan prince often chose the Quad to practice hislightning-quick fighting style, and the Black Widow, who wasintimidating even at her most friendly, had been known to don acostume of eldritch horror and… loom.)

Sothere was every reason for Bucky to spend almost as much time in theQuad as training at the blasting range. It certainly had nothing todo with the fact that Stark Tower overlooked the Quad, or that itsowner could often be seen through the windows, hard at work or evenlounging in the decadent rooftop hot tub.

Still,when a slender, red-clad figure emerged from Stark Tower’s mainentrance, Bucky noticed. He was a sniper; it was his job to noticethings. It was perfectly understandable that his heart rate wouldincrease as he evaluated a possible threat.

Somewhatless understandable was the sense of disappointment he felt when heidentified the figure as Misty Knight, but there was no one nearbywho knew him well enough to know what the subtle shift in hisshoulders or the tip of his head meant. Or to spot the way he tensedagain with the realization that he’d been out here on the Quad fora couple of hours, now, and he hadn’t seen Misty go in,which meant she’d been in Stark Tower that whole time. Perhapseven… overnight?

Helooked down at his guitar, but she had already spotted him watchingand changed the angle of her path.

“Heythere,” she said when she reached him. “You’re Bucky Barnes,right? I’m Misty. I’ve been meaning to talk to you.”

Wasshe going to warn him off? Her hand was extended as if to shake, butit was her artificial arm. Bucky knew how much damage hisarmcould do. But Steve had been trying to convince him that AvengersAcademy was different. That he could trust – well, maybe not allthestudents here, but mostofthem. He took her hand cautiously.

“It’swarm,” he said, startled.

Mistysmiled, wide and bright and not at all offended. “Yeah, that was acouple of upgrades back. Actually, I thought we could hang out alittle and compare notes, if you want?” She wiggled the fingers ofher prosthetic hand to indicate what she meant.

Thatseemed… good, actually. Talking to someone who knew what it waslike. Still, he hesitated. He’d meant to practice his guitar for awhile longer.

Tonyburst out of Stark Tower, running hell bent for leather. He grinnedand waved at them as he passed, late to Professor Pym’s class yetagain.

“Wecan swing through the food court and go have lunch in the park,”Misty was saying. “Have you tried the new pizza place?”

Therereally wasn’t anything keeping him in the Quad. He could practicelater. “Not yet,” he said, trying to remember how to smile, andgestured for Misty to proceed him down the path.

Thepizza was pretty good, but Bucky was less interested in that than inlearning more about Misty’s arm. It turned out that Tony had builtthat, too, and kept her supplied with upgrades on a regular basis.Much more frequently than Hydra had upgraded Bucky’s arm, which hadbeen whenever he’d managed to get it so damaged that it was easierto replace than repair.

“Oh,all sorts of things,” she answered when he asked. “There’s thetemperature thing – it’s not just cosmetic; the metal used to pullheat from my body in the winter and overheat me in the summer, and mywhole shoulder just achedfromit, you know?”

Buckydid know. He was used to ignoring it, but… he knew.

He wondered if Tony would take over maintenance to his arm, now. Maybe even upgrade it some. He thought about having Tony close enough to touch, warm breath spilling over his shoulder, strong hands delicately caressing Bucky’s innermost circuits... He shivered. He hadn’t allowed anyone so close since Hydra. It was a little terrifying.

Misty was still talking, heedless of Bucky’s wandering thoughts. “Andhe’s always got a new trick for smoother function or faster neuralresponse. Better waterproofing, a filter system to keep out dirt andstuff, power upgrades… All kinds of stuff. Seriously, Tony’s thebest.”

Hercolors were similar to Tony’s, Bucky couldn’t help but noticing– mostly red with black accents, and the arm was gold… Somethingturned over high in Bucky’s gut, oily and uncomfortable. Maybe thepizza wasn’t as good as he’d thought. “Are you and Tony…together?”

Mistysnorted indelicately. “No,” she said shortly. “He’sbrilliant, and he’s funny when he’s not trying too hard, and Iowe him more than I’ll probably ever be able to repay. But no waywould I date a boy who acts like Tony does.”

“Idon’t… understand,” Bucky confessed. Tony seemed like he wouldbe an excellent partner, clever and attentive and generous, eager toplease and adventurous, and handsome–

Oh.Oh no.

Itwasn’t fear, or the pizza. It was something much, much worse:

Acrush.

“Idon’t have anything against the guy,” Steve said as he lined uphis shot, which was utter hooey, because Steve obviously didhavesome kind of beef with Tony. “He’s just kind of… flighty.”

Buckyleaned against Club A’s bar and calculated Steve’s shot in hishead, the geometry of collisions blooming there almost as neatly asthe arc of a clean shot. If there was one thing Steve did well, itwas calculate ricochet. All that work with the shield, Buckysupposed. “He’s not flighty,” Bucky said.

“Maybethat’s the wrong word,” Steve allowed. He paused to take theshot, sending pool balls spinning across the felt. Two of themdropped into the waiting pockets. “He just never takes anythingvery seriously.”

Whateverhis eye for angles, Steve’s eye for people – or at least Tony –was obviously half-blind. “Are you kidding me?” Bucky asked. “Hedoes so much here – he built the blasting range, and he’s upgradedit at least twice! And the sparring ring–”

“Excusesto play with robots,” Steve snorted, walking slowly around thetable. “Just happened to work out for us.”

Buckyrolled his eyes. “Plushestill runs his business.”

“He’sgonna run it right into the ground if he doesn’t buckle down,”Steve said. “The last thing I saw him testing was some kind ofhoverboard toy. And then he comes in here playing big-shot, throwinghis money around.”

“Hey,it’s his money,” Bucky said mildly. He didn’t ask if thehoverboards were a thing he could get for himself, because honestly,that sounded a hell of a lot more fun than playing pool allafternoon. “And staying on top of his classes. He’s got straightA’s, you know, even though I think Pym’s got it out for him.”

“Just‘cause Tony won’t follow the standard safety precautions,”Steve muttered. “That’s not Professor Pym’s fault. Maybe hewouldn’t have such a hard time if he didn’t spend all his librarytime looking for books with pictures of pretty dames, or mockingeverything in the engineering journals.” Steve made another shot,then looked up at Bucky across the pool table. “Look, I’m nottelling you who you can or can’t like–”

“Gee,thanks, pal,” Bucky drawled.

“Ijust don’t want to see you get hurt,” Steve said, all earnestpuppy eyes. “I mean, I know you weren’t back yet when ithappened, but there was that incident a few months back where he wasin here letting Union Jack do bodyshotsoffhim. That’s not relationship material.”

Christ,Rogers was so full of bullshit, Bucky wasn’t sure why hedidn’t stink. If Tony had anything going with Jack, it would’vebeen all over campus. Hell, Bucky’d had lunch with Misty at thepark onceandit had taken three days to quash the immediate rumor that theyweredating. You’d think, between classes and jobs and superheroing,these folks wouldn’t have so much time to gossip. Bucky was aboutto mention that to Steve when the door opened and Steve’s face litup.

Peggy.Of course. The only person on campus who could make Bucky turninvisible. Steve put up his cue and jogged over to join her at thejukebox.

Buckytook another swig of his drink as he watched them dance. At leastSteve had finally learned a couple of moves. But god, it made himache with the desire to pull someone onto the dance floor himself.Someone slender and strong and unafraid of Bucky’s arm. Someonewho’d laugh and rise to the challenge, ready to risk failure forthe possibility of glory…

Buckysighed and finished his drink. He waved off the robot bartender whenit reached for a new can, and slumped out the door.

“Iheard the most interesting thing,” Natasha said in Tony’s ear.

“Gah!”said Tony, because she hadn’t been there just a second ago, andthen, “Why do you do that. Why.”

Natashasmirked. “Because it’s funny.” She stepped out of the cardboardbox she’d used to sneak up on him and dropped into the seat next tohis on the dorm patio. “I heard the most interesting thing,” sherepeated, somewhat more conversationally this time.

“Heard,or overheard?” Tony teased. He pried open the back of the gadget hewas tinkering with and examined the wiring.

“Heard,”Natasha said, faux-wounded. “Are you going to ask me what it was?”

Tonylooked at her sidelong, then fished the multitool out of his pocketand started unscrewing the circuit board. “I don’t know,” hesaid. “If it’s about how Loki and Enchantress got into anotherfight, you can save it. I heard about it already from Jan.”

“No,I got it from Jan already, too,” Natasha said. “Did she tell youthey were fighting about you?”

Tonyrolled his eyes. “Of course she did. I don’t know what she thinksI’m going to do about it. I dated Loki for, like, twoweeksbeforeI got sick of his attitude, and Enchantress only wants me because Idon’twanther.I really wish I hadn’t given her a key to the hot tub.” He heldthe circuit board up, checking the connections and switches. “Howcome the only people on this campus who are interested in me areex-villains?”He did some quick calculations in his head and flipped a couple ofswitches.

“Well,there’s Union Jack,” Natasha offered.

Tonyrolled his eyes. “He’s not actually interested in me, you know.He just spreads that around to make himself look more attractivelyunavailable. He only really wants me for the tech, to be the Q to his Bond.”

Natashadidn’t say anything. Tony finished screwing the circuit board backinto place, then hit the power switch. Well, thatdidn’twork. He turned it back off and reached for the multitool again. Heglanced at Natasha. She was watching him like he was one of themysteries of the universe. “What?”

“Nothing.”She leaned back in her chair. “Ask me what I heard.”

“Fine,whatever, tell me what you heard.”

“Iwas at the Winter Soldier’s open mic last night–”

“Oh,shit, that was last night?” Damn it. He’d been meaning to go tothat. What had he been doing last night? …Oh, right, he’d gottencaught up studying that alien armor down in SHIELD HQ’s basement.He really should start setting alarms for himself when he was downthere.

“Yes,”Natasha said. “And he had some great new lyrics to try out.”

“Well,that’s what open mic night is for, I guess.” Tony fidgetedaimlessly with the gadget, not wanting to telegraph his feelings tooobviously, even though it was Natasha and she probably already kneweverything just from the way he’d combed his hair this morning, orsomething. “I’m sorry I missed it.”

“Youshould be,” she told him smugly. “I think my favorite was the oneabout the ‘stark beauty of winter’ and the ‘red glow of dawn’,myself. Sif really liked the new ‘Snowmelt’ song, but I thoughtthe bit about it dripping into the forge’s fire was a littleoverdone. Also, the rhyme was a bit forced. It could use work.”

Tonylooked up at her. “He’s… really kind of impressed with the IcePalace, I guess?”

Natasha’smouth actually fell open. “You’re being even dumber than usualtoday,” she finally said. “That’s not what they’re about.”

Whatthe hell did that mean? “But the forge at the Ice Palace is theonly one we’ve got,” Tony pointed out.

Natashadropped her head into her hands. “You’re hopeless, Stark.Completely hopeless.”

“Excuseyou, I am fullofhope,” Tony shot back, grinning.

Natashashot him a Look that made him fear for his life, or at least hiskidneys, and stalked off, muttering under her breath.

So,Bucky liked the forge at the Ice Palace, did he? Maybe Tony shouldtry to spend a little more timethere. His blacksmith costume was pretty sexy, if he did say sohimself.

Janfound Bucky at the blasting range. “So, you’ve been here forwhat, a month now?” she said between zaps. “How’re you settlingin?”

“Fine,”Bucky said, absently taking aim. The strange thing was, he actuallymeant it. His memories had been steadily trickling back, and no onehad even hinted at taking them away again. There were people here whowere actually interested in his music, who attended open mic nightand invited him to jam sessions and sought his advice aboutharmonies. The classes were interesting – well, most of them. Thestaff seemed to think of the students’ well-being as people as muchas their value as assets. And while not everyone was friendly –Bucky and Crossbones both still went out of their way to sneer at eachother whenever they crossed paths – the atmosphere was much morerelaxed and easygoing than Hydra had ever been.

Andthere was Tony, of course. Bucky’s mouth curved in a small,unwitting smile.

Heactually likedithere.

“Youknow, Tony and I have been friends forever,”Jan said.

Buckyflinched, just a bit, and his shot went off-center, wide by a whole handspan.Damn it. He made himself take a slow breath and aim again. “I’veheard that,” he said neutrally.

“Soyou know that if you break his heart, I’ll have nomercy,”she said. She shot him a glare, and it should’ve been cute andeasily-dismissed, that stubborn pout and furrowed brow, but Bucky hadseen what her stings had done to the target ‘bots, and her tinyWasp form would be ideal for ambush. It was generally acknowledgedthat despite her fixation on fashion and social media, she was one ofthe more formidable students here. “And I don’t just meancheating,” she said fiercely. “He’s sensitive,you have to be nice to him!  Don’t yell at him for working toohard because he tries to act all ‘man of leisure’ but he’sactually superbusyall the time, and if you know what’s good for you, you’ll respectthat. And don’t take him for granted because he’s already had todeal with just too many people who only want his money or his tech.And you’d better appreciate his genius, too! He’s the smartestguy on campus!”

Buckyknew better than to show fear. “We’re not dating,” hepointed out when she finally had to pause to draw a breath.

Jandemolished her target and huffed in exasperation as she waited for itto reset. “Well, that’s because he’s also kind of an idiotsometimes. You just need to be a little more obvious.”

Buckyactually lowered his gun to stare at her. “More obvious.”

“Yep!”She shrank and took to wing, and destroyed the target again withthree quick shots.

“Isthere a single student on this campus who hasn’t figured out how Ifeel about him?” Bucky asked.

“Um…”She resumed her human size and thought about it. “Well… Danny canbe a little oblivious sometimes,” she said. “And Rocket doesn’tcare about anyone’s love life.” She sniffed indignantly.

“AndTony, of course,” Bucky added. Just saying the name sent a shiverthrough him, as if it were forbidden. “He came to open mic threedays ago and I sang the song I’ve been saving for him, ‘TheGlowing Heart’. I don’t know how much more obvious I can get.”

Jansmiled and reached up to pat his shoulder. “You’ll figure itout,” she said. Her eyes narrowed. “You’d better.”

“Ug,she’s at it again,” Taskmaster growled as he stomped through thedoor into Club A.

Buckyglanced up, then looked away again. Taskmaster was supposedlyreformed, but Bucky didn’t trust him. He spent too much timehanging out with Loki and Enchantress.

“Who?”Crossbones demanded from the spot he’d commandeered on the dancefloor.

Buckyhad almost turned around and left when he’d spotted Crossbonesalready in the place, but they both came from Hydra. Crossboneswouldn’t see it as Bucky simply wanting peace and quiet; instead,it would read as weakness.

Whatever.He’d only wanted a drink, anyway, before band practice.

“Amora,”Taskmaster snorted. He refused to call her Enchantress, even when shefumed at him. It was one of the few things that Bucky liked abouthim. “She’s trying to hypnotize Stark again. What the hell doeseveryone see in him, anyway?”

Buckycould have answered that, but why would he? If they couldn’tappreciate Tony without being told–

Wait.Hypnotize?

Buckythrew back the rest of his drink and barrelled out of the club,heading for the Quad at not quitehistop speed. He slammed to a halt when he saw them, the Enchantress’magic a sickly green aura that slithered into Tony’s mouth andeyes.

Tonystaggered under it, weak, and stared at Enchantress with wide,adoring eyes that made Bucky’s stomach churn with anger and disgustand fear.

Evenas Bucky watched, however, Tony shook off the effects of the magic,his dopey grin curling into a sneer. He turned his back with a rudegesture and started to walk away, but the Enchantress was alreadysending out her magic again, dragging him back in again.

Bucky’shands curled into fists. Atit again,Taskmaster had said, which meant this wasn’t anything new.The Enchantress tried to drag Tony into her trap often. And despitehaving no protection from magic – certainly not Asgardian magic –Tony had so far managed to resist her.

God,the strength of will that must take… Coulda flightymando that, Steve?Buckymentally challenged.

Butwhy the hell hadn’t anyone put a stop to this? Fury, or even Odin?Did it amuse them to see Tony so weakened? There were students, aswell, fully capable of blocking the Enchantress’ lure.

Buckygrowled, anger rising, and pushed himself into motion, stalkingtoward the tableau. “Leave him alone, witch,” he snarled at theEnchantress. He wrapped his hand around Tony’s arm and tugged himaway, making straight for Stark Tower.

Buckyfelt it, the instant the last tendrils of the Enchantress’ magicsnapped. Tony stumbled a few steps and straightened, then looked atBucky in surprise. “What…?”

“Hadto get you away from her,” Bucky said through clenched teeth. Hedidn’t stop moving until they’d pushed into the lobby of StarkTower.

“Awayfrom…” Tony turned around to look behind them, though he didn’ttwist hard enough to free his arm from Bucky’s grasp. His eyeswidened. “Enchantress? Really? You… rescued me?”

Heatflooded Bucky’s neck and cheeks. “I dunno ‘bout that,” hesaid. “You seemed to be holdin’ your own. I just… couldn’tstand to watch it.”

Tonywas looking at him, now. “No one’s ever done that for me before,”he said, voice soft with wonder.

Buckybit back the first half-dozen comments that sprang to mind. (“Yourstrength does not obligate / you to carry all the weight” wasn’ta bad starting point for a lyric, maybe a song.) Tony didn’tstop looking at him, though, his eyes wide and warm. “Well, I did,”Bucky finally said.

“Yousure did,” Tony said. “Thanks.” He smiled, and it lit up hisface like the sun. Bucky swayed into it like a plant seeking themorning light.

Moreobvious,he thought, and said, “Don’t suppose you’d like to go get adrink?”

“What?Oh, uh, sure, yeah,” Tony stammered. “Victory drink, thatsounds–”

“Imean like a date,” Bucky said, and Tony’s eyes rounded. Wow, Janhad not been kidding atallaboutTony’s level of obliviousness. “I really like you,” he added, just to be sure.It came out a little too loud, verging on panicked. If Natasha was sneaking into Tony’s cheese fridge again, she was going tobust something laughing at them.

Buckydecided he didn’t much care. He let go of Tony’s arm, finally,and instead lightly brushed back the tips of Tony’s hair where theywere drooping toward his face. “I like you a lot,” he said.

Tonyswallowed, but he didn’t back away. He just kept staring at Buckywith those pretty, warm eyes. “You’re not– Really?”

“Yeah,Tony,” Bucky said. He dug deep and dredged up a smile that wasnearly a grin. “Come on, doll, let’s paint the town red.”

“IronMan red?” Tony asked, teasing.

“Youbet,” Bucky agreed.

Tonyslipped his arm through Bucky’s. “You’re on, hot stuff.” Helaughed briefly. “Oh, man, wait’ll I tell Jan she doesn’t haveto stick her nose in it, after all!”