#I mean i let her look at the quotes list once and they scrolled too far and saw my quentillius posting 😨

[possumkingluca]

...And that makes 2 out of 4! I'm getting there slowly but surely Let me introduce you to.... Aero Krause! The complete bastard of a Tiefling Wildfire Druid in their Prismari uniform and their post-module homebrewed second half outfit.

[neoculturetravesty]

We met in online class - Part 4

Image taken from here. Originally had this image in mind but Tumblr won’t let me upload it. 

Pairing: Renjun x Reader Genre: College AU, romance, fluff, angst, maybe humor???? Warnings: Strong language Word Count: 4.3k

Navigation: Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | You are on Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Last Part

A/N: Happy Easter to all who celebrate it!

It’s funny how quickly people form habits without really meaning to. You don’t realize you have a new favorite word till someone points out you’ve been using it so much. You don’t realize you’re addicted to caffeine till you get headaches from withdrawals. You don’t realize you can’t live without dessert till the sugar crash hits. And in the same way, Renjun didn’t realize he had gotten used to your company till he’s waiting outside your lecture hall with an almost expectant inclination to see you. 

A lot of it had to do with who you were as a person. You had pretty much infiltrated Renjun’s life, even though he still kept you at an arm’s distance. One day, he had walked into the library and found you with Jaemin, while the two of you had your heads together over a laptop and a huge gift basket in the making on the table. Jaemin wasn’t the kind of person who invited a lot of new people into his life; so he must have really trusted you because it wasn’t the last time Renjun saw the two of you together. 

But worse than Jaemin was Donghyuck. Renjun was pretty sure that since you’d asked him out, you had probably hung out more with Donghyuck than with him. Almost as if seeing Renjun was just an excuse for you to hang out with him, as you had often joked. It was as if the two of you were kindred spirits, long lost best friends who had finally found one another. Donghyuck would invite you everywhere, get up to no good with you in tow; and before Renjun knew it, the two of you were even planning parties together. Neither Donghyuck nor you needed Renjun as an excuse to hang out with one another anymore, and it amused him. A part of him wondered if Donghyuck was playing along to help his bigger cause. But his friend always looked so genuinely happy around you that any ulterior motive he might have seemed to have been forgotten. 

“Why can’t the sun always be like this?” you said as you laid on the grass using your backpack as a pillow. Your hand was reaching out over your face, your fingers wiggling as you played with shadows.

While you soaked in the sun, Renjun chose to sit under the shade of a tree, sketching away in his book, completing his assignment before his next class.

“You wouldn’t appreciate it as much if it were always like this.” Renjun replies, not looking away from his work. He much preferred paint over charcoal, but he had to admit that the scratching sounds it made against the grains of paper--coupled with the chirping of birds and gentle ruffling of leaves around him--was really relaxing. As was your company.

“Hmm. But it’s still nice to see it without fine dust couture. I like seeing it fully in the nude.” you say, a soft, funny smile on your face while your eyelashes cast shadows on your cheeks.

“Pervert.” Renjun accuses, smiling as he drew. It just makes you laugh and lay sideways to face him. You prop up your head on your hand.

“I’m the sun, Huang Renjun. Now draw me like one of your French girls.” you say in a comical voice and Renjun actually laughs without reservation. 

“Do you have any more classes?” he asks, fixing his black and gold rimmed glasses over his nose.

“Nope. I’m done for the day. Yeri’s supposed to pick me up, so I’m just waiting for her call.” you say, rolling onto your back once more, resuming your dance with the shadows.

Renjun hums a reply as he sketches, but really, he’s thinking that he hadn’t formally met Yeri. At least not yet. He had just had two very awkward run-ins with her the couple of times he had been to your apartment. Come to think of it, he hadn’t been to your place since that last time. And you had never been to his place at all. 

It wasn’t on accident, though. All of it had been by Renjun’s really convoluted design. He had met a few of your friends on campus in the passing, sure. But you were more a part of his life that he was yours. That is exactly what Renjun had planned. Lately, however, that plan seemed to be fading away into the ether. Slowly but surely dispersing from memory till it was more or less abandoned. 

Because Renjun did not realize that he had adopted you like a habit. Any time he saw a witty meme, he had to send it your way because you would text back with an equally witty reply that scratched Renjun’s intellectual itch. Any time Jisung would bring home a baguette, he would take a picture for you with a caption like ‘Francophile life going strong’. The two of you had even developed a silly game where you would look at different marketing taglines and wonder if it would still work to sell condoms. 

‘Nike. Just do it.’ Renjun had once texted.

‘That is a low hanging fruit, Huang Renjun.’ you had replied.

‘Okay, true. But how about Imax: Thing big.’ he had texted back.

‘Hmm, almost but not quite. I need something stronger.’

‘BMW: Designed for driving pleasure.’ he had actually found himself scrolling through a long list of taglines while his assignment laid forgotten.

‘Oof. Now you’ve found the sweet spot. Keep going.’ Renjun had smiled at your reply and had found himself hurriedly looking for something better.

‘Geico: So easy, a caveman could do it.’ 

‘Mmm, didn’t think you were a kinky boy, Huang Renjun. Go on…”

Renjun had actually laughed out loud, making Jisung look up at him quizzically and replied ‘1010 Wins: you give us 22 minutes, we’ll give you the world.’

‘Yessss! Right there, right there!’

Renjun hadn’t even realized he was grinning wide and standing up from his desk, a list of taglines open both on his laptop and his phone while he scrolled to find the perfect response that would make you happy. ‘Rice Krispies: Snap! Crackle! Pop!’

‘So close, so close, I am almost there!’

‘Washington Post: Democracy dies in darkness.’

‘THAT’S IT, THAT DID IT, THAT HIT THE SPOT!’

Renjun had actually belly laughed at the entire conversation. He didn’t remember the last time he had laughed this way because even Jisung was looking at him with an amused smile, asking “What’s so funny?”

So yes, Renjun had adopted you like a habit. But it wasn’t just through text. When you weren’t the one waiting for him on campus with a couple of cups of coffee in hand, he found he would go looking for you. You would spend all your free time together, just like this. He would find himself missing you on days he didn’t get to see you. He found himself disappointed when you didn’t have time for him because you and Donghyuck were on a very important mission or you had to meet your friends or you had extra work that was demanding your attention. You had just inserted yourself in his life in such a manner that Renjun didn’t even notice.

Perhaps you had nothing to do with it, but Renjun’s life had been treating him pretty well, too. Maybe he was more inspired these days, because his work was getting better and his professors were noticing. His painting instructor had held him back after class one day and offered him an internship at his studio. While it wasn’t huge, it was enough that Renjun had thrown his fist in the air in celebration as soon as he had left class. And you were the first person he texted and he was glad he did because you had texted back a freakout that made him grin like an idiot. You had come to see him as soon as your own class had ended and you had flung yourself in his arms and had jumped around excitedly before dragging him along so you could buy him an artist’s apron as a present. 

“Do you have any more classes?” you ask him as you stare at the evening sun through your fingers.

Renjun’s about to reply when he is interrupted by the sound of your phone buzzing in your pocket. You fish it out and sit up, telling Renjun “Hold on…” before answering it. “Are you here, Yeri?” 

Renjun goes back to scratching away in his pad, thinking. Maybe he should introduce himself now when Yeri comes to pick you. But what would he say? ‘Hi, I’m Y/N’s friend?’ Everyone on campus knew that the two of you weren’t exactly just friends. It was thanks to your stunt during that one online class, where he’d met you. ‘Hi, I’m Y/N’s boyfriend?’ But he wasn’t that, either. While the two of you had become pretty comfortable in each other’s company, you hadn’t really done anything, or had any serious talk about what you were. You two always found yourself tiptoeing “the line”. Actually, no. It was Renjun that tiptoed that line. After his two failed attempts to kiss you, the conversation had just not taken that turn ever again. You two hadn’t leveled up on the PDA front, either. Sure, you had cuddled into him in the back of the cab that one night, and he had half-carried you to your apartment till Yeri took you from the doorstep. But you didn’t seem to remember any of it, so it was basically back to square one. Sure, you had hugged him in joy when he had gotten the internship, but did it really count when the two of you hadn’t even held hands yet? Aside from the innuendo-filled condom tagline talk, the two of you hadn’t really done anything that would constitute as… something a couple might do.

“Okay, but how long would it take?” you’re saying into the phone, a gentle crease growing between your eyebrows. Whatever you heard back must have been distasteful because you grimace. “Okayyyy, Yeri, I’m hanging up now!” you say pointedly and groan, laying back into the grass.

Renjun chuckles “All good?”

“Yeri has brought home a ‘distraction’.” you say, making air quotes, and a face like you’ve tasted something sour. “I’m banished from my own home for the evening.”

Renjun looks up. 

He thinks about his next words carefully. “Um… what are you gonna do?”

You groan once more and say “I’m probably going to crash at Lia’s till my exile is over. So inconvenient!”

“You could come over to mine.”

Renjun didn’t know how it happened, how he found the courage to think it and then actually say it out loud, but now there’s no going back because the two of you are walking down the hallway to his place. He doesn’t know why, but his throat is a little dry and he peeks over his shoulder to see that you seem a bit nervous as well. He takes a deep breath and decides to break the tension.

“Here we are.” He says as he punches in the code. He holds the door open “Hello, MTV. Welcome to my crib.”

It works because it makes you smile. “So, this is where the magic happens.”

“Mhmm, but I hope to God my roommates have at least attempted to clean it up some, because I did text them a head’s up.”

“Lead the way, Huang Renjun.” you say and he does. He walks you into his living room where Jisung is currently sitting, playing video games. The smell of something delicious makes his head turn towards the kitchen where he finds Jaemin.

“Hey, Y/N!” he calls out then wipes his hands on a towel before coming in to give you a hug. 

“Hi, Y/N!” Jisung says without looking up.

Renjun is amused and a little confused. Perhaps you and Jaemin got even closer while he wasn’t noticing, but Jisung? When had the two of you met? By the looks of it, Jisung was comfortable enough with you that he wasn’t even minding his manners and greeting you properly. Probably because he was too busy dwindling his thumbs on his controller furiously. 

“Damn, Jisung, you’re really going at it, huh?” you say to him easily.

“Mhmm. I would’ve been doing even better if Jaemin hadn’t interrupted and kicked me out of my own room because you were coming over.”

There is a two second silence before Jisung’s audience of three begins talking at the same time.

“Jisung!” Renjun yelps, bringing his fingers to the bridge of his nose.

“Oh, no, we aren’t going to like… do anything--” you find yourself explaining at the same time, face heating up.

“Jisungieeee!” Jaemin also sings out to scold, yet he grins as he mock-chokes the boy.

“You are so dead.” Renjun gives the back of Jisung’s head a death stare.

“Nooo, our Jisungie means well, don’t you, Jisungie?” Jaemin coos while Jisung dodges his kisses.

Renjun shakes his head and places a hand to your arm to guide you along. “Let’s go.”

“I’ve made food if you crazy kids get hungry!” Jaemin calls after you and it’s the most animated he’s been in a while.

His friends being, well, his friends was probably worth it because Renjun is feeling a lot better as he brings you into his room. It had been a while since he had brought a girl over and looking about, he can tell that his mates did a good job at hastily cleaning it. 

“Damn, Huang Renjun. You’re a clean boy.” you’re saying as you look about. “I thought you’d be the artfully messy type.”

Renjun grins as he runs his fingers through his hair. “We can mess it up together if you’d like.” But Renjun mentally smacks himself in the head as soon as the words leave his mouth because you’ve looked up at him and quickly looked away, muttering something awkwardly.

“I… I didn’t mean that. I just meant with like, paint and, like…” Renjun blows air out of his mouth and then your eyes meet. Before you know it, you both are giggling at each other because the awkwardness is probably making you a bit delirious. 

Renjun watches as you take a deep breath to stop the giggles and turn to start looking around. “Oooh. Mr. Fancypants is a tea connoisseur.” you say as you run your hands over his teabag display box. 

Renjun chuckles “Do you want me to make you some?”

“Sure. Let’s have tea, Mr. Fancypants.” you take a seat on his wheelie chair and your eyes go to the artist’s apron you had bought him that is currently hanging on an easel. You give it a fond smile.

“What flavor would you like?” Renjun asks as he puts the kettle on and sets up two mugs.

“Umm… I don’t know tea. I’m a coffee drinker.” you reply, your fingers tracing over the pictures he had at his desk.

“I’ll make you a simple chamomile, then. I’ve seen you and Jaemin enabling each other’s coffee habits and I don’t approve.” he knots his eyebrows.

“Oh no, no, no. Jaemin is on a different level. I took a sip of his coffee by mistake once and my entire life flashed before my eyes. I don’t know if that boy drinks coffee or straight up cocaine.”

Renjun bites his smile because he’s still holding onto the look of disapproval. “That would explain the random spikes and falls in his energy.” he says as he pours out the water in the mugs and seeps the teabags. “Here you go.” he sets your mug on the desk and takes a seat on his bed.

You take a sip “So, which one is your bunk?”

“Top.” Renjun also wants to make an innuendo but he stops himself because the awkwardness surrounding the fact that you and him are alone in his room has only just subsided with the tea.

“Isn’t the bottom bunk more comfortable?” you muse as you drink. You seem to be enjoying your tea because you haven’t set it aside yet.

“Of course it is. It’s why Jisung has it.” he comments, cocking his eyebrow. “And I sleep here on this bed.” He pats where he’s sat.

You grin as you sip then quickly wipe your chin as some tea spills through your smile. “Where do you keep all your paintings?”

“In the studio. On that top bunk. Behind that door. At my grandma’s house.” he lists off on his fingers.

“Why behind the door? If I had your talent, I’d basically cover every bit of my wall in my art. Like the most egomaniacal artist in the world.” you fantasize, looking up at the ceiling.

Renjun chuckles. “I kinda like my space to be a bit cleaner, you know? Because I’m always around art. It kinda helps with my imagination, having a clean environment. It’s almost like a clean canvas.”

“Interesting.” you’ve said and it sounds like you genuinely mean it. “It’s still a bit sad. All the work you’ve created should have a home. It shouldn't be hidden away behind doors or on top bunks.”

“You can give some of them a home if you’d like. If you have space, I mean.” Renjun gives you a fond look. You haven’t replied but you’ve set your mug down and looked at him with a very tender look in your eyes. You stand up.

“I wanna see your bed.”

Renjun grins. “Be my guest.”

“Ooooh.” you make an excited squeal, almost like you're about to enter Dexter’s Laboratory. You plop yourself on it and bounce up and down, almost as if to check the pliability of it.

“So this is where the magic happens.” you giggle and then Renjun finds your gaze moving to a picture frame on his headboard. “Is that your grandma?”

“It is.” Renjun smiles as he watches you pick your feet up and make yourself comfortable.

“She looks exactly like you.” you say, looking back at him with an affectionate look.

“A lot of people say that. People in school used to think I’m adopted because I looked nothing like my parents.” Renjun scoots back to sit next to you.

“Are you close to your parents?” you ask gently, looking at him.

Renjun looks away. 

The two of you hadn’t had that many deep conversations. And anytime you did, he had found a way around it so that nothing was shared, nothing was learnt. 

But no one had ever asked him that… not in so many words. He finds himself shrugging and responding before he can stop himself. “Nah. They don’t even talk to me. They’ve never really cared.”

“How do you know that, Renjun?” you’re asking him in a very soft voice. The kind of voice that has Renjun sharing more than he wants.

“They pretty much abandoned me very young,” Renjun laughs ironically. “They would fight all the time, you know? Like, they really would go at each other one moment then make up the next moment. They kind of forgot they had a son.” Renjun finds himself saying while his eyes fixate on a loose thread on Jisung’s bedsheet. He realizes he’s warm and comfortable and that’s when he notices that you’ve put an arm around him.

“That must have been so hard, to go through that.” you’re speaking to him so softly and your head and your body is angled towards him, giving him all your attention while Renjun talks into the abyss. 

“They were just like… kinda dysfunctional, you know? They fought like crazy and I had to hide away so I wouldn’t hear them. And then the next day, they’d be in each other’s arms like nothing happened. They would pretend like everything was all right. Like the trauma they gave me meant nothing.”

You’re not speaking anymore, only listening. Your hand around him has started to gently stroke his arm. Your other hand softly combs through his hair.

“It was such a vicious cycle and they wouldn’t stop. I think they were kinda addicted to it. They would’ve been happy living like that with each other if it weren’t for me.” He had never shared so much with anyone. But now that he had started, it was difficult to stop.

“Renjun…” you say empathetically and pull him into you. Renjun pauses for a moment, but decides to give in. What did it matter, anyway? He rests his head on your shoulder.

“If it weren’t for my grandma, I wouldn’t even be alive, you know? She saved me from all of that and took me in. She raised me. It wasn’t even her responsibility, but she raised me.”

You are holding him to you and soothingly stroking his hair when you say “Then I think your grandma is the luckiest person in this world. Because she got to see you grow up to be such a good man.”

Renjun feels a lump in his throat grow and before he knows it, there are tears stinging in his eyes. You turn your head and press a kiss into his temple and slowly rock him. It was odd, being here like this, because Renjun realizes that this was the first time you had kissed him. But more than anything else, it was the first time someone had held him like this. 

The last time he remembered being held was probably when he was a child, and it had been his grandma. No one since had held him in their arms to listen to him, to comfort him, to love him without any conditions. No one had tried to take his pain away without wanting something in return. The thought puts more tears in his eyes and he finds himself leaning his weight into you. 

He allows you to hold him and comfort him and coo at him. You’re speaking to him gently but Renjun isn’t hearing your words. He’s only concentrating on the soothing sound of your voice and how melodic it is. He liked hearing you talk. He’s concentrating on how you’re rocking him, and how the movement is slowly lulling him. He liked how warm and soft you were and how protective your arms were. He liked the smell of chamomile on your breath. Had you enjoyed chamomile? He thought you had. Maybe you would’ve enjoyed a different flavor more. Renjun decides he should make you an Earl Grey next time; it would probably be better suited to your caffeine tastes. Maybe you wouldn’t like Earl Grey as much either, but it would be nice to discover that bit about you. He’d make you try all the flavors till he learnt which one your favorite was. 

“How come I never saw your cat?” He asks sleepily after you’ve been quiet for a while.

“Hmm?” you ask, confused.

“Your cat. Galbi. How come I didn’t see him when I came over?” Renjun can feel your smile against his temple.

“Oh. Yeri had dropped him over at the vet’s that day. Do you want to meet him?” you ask him.

“Yeah, it would be nice to meet him.” Renjun says and brings an arm up to cuddle closer into you.

“Okay. Next time you come over, you can meet him… shoulder gangster Renjun.” you’re only whispering at him now as you tease him.

“Mmm.” is the only reply Renjun can manage as he chuckles lazily. He didn’t even feel like killing Donghyuck for telling you about that because he feels so good like this, in your arms. Renjun hasn’t even noticed that you’ve laid him down till he realizes how horizontal he is.

It felt nice. Being held by someone, being protected by someone, being comforted by someone. Your hands haven’t stopped soothing him for a single moment ever since they started. Renjun hadn’t even noticed that you’d put the covers on him. Or that you were kissing the top of his head till he feels the warmth. It all felt so nice. He barely registers that your shirt is wet from his tears. All he feels are the relaxing patterns you’re drawing onto his skin. It’s the last thing he feels as he drifts off. And though you're gone in the morning, Renjun can swear this is the most sound sleep he's slept in many nights. He feels a thousand times lighter, like someone had lifted a heavy weight off of his chest and he was finally breathing fully. 

He smiles as he grabs his phone and sees your name right on the top of his notification list. He reads your message:

‘Hey, shoulder gangster. Sorry I left without telling you but you were sleeping so soundly, I didn’t want to wake you. I wanted to ask you something AND YOU CAN TOTALLY SAY NO. But my brother’s hosting a spring art festival of some sort at my parent’s house this weekend. A lot of his artist friends from his company will be there. Do you maybe wanna come with me?’

And there it was. 

Yes, it was funny how quickly people form habits without really meaning to. And in his new habit, Renjun had forgotten the real reason he was with you in the first place. 

Eyes on the fucking prize, Renjun thinks as his reality comes crashing back on him.

Copyright © 2021 NeoCultureTravesty. All rights reserved.

[masterweaverx]

RWBY Parents from Best to Worst

That’s right, everybody, I’m a-going to rank how terrible these people are to and for their kids! For the sake of covering as many parents as I can, I am defining ‘parent’ as either ‘legal guardian’ or ‘the one that gave birth to you’, and excluding relationships that are explicitly something else. That does mean that we’re going to miss out on some very important people, though, so before we begin, let’s have some Honorable Mentions!

Yang Xiao Long and Winter Schnee: Professional Momsisters

“That’s why big sisters come first, to protect the ones that come after.” I don’t know who said that to these two, if anybody actually did, but it’s a quote that most definitely applies to them. Not only would they take a bullet (or a sword, or a fireball) for their younger siblings, they took the time out to give them affection and training that they needed when their own parents weren’t quite doing the job. If I absolutely had to rank one of them as the better momsister, I’d say Yang, but that’s really only because Yang had less to deal with overall; a depressed single dad not being able to pull himself together just doesn’t stack up with an abusive powermonger, a self-loathing drunkard, and all the institutional bigotry and pressure of Atlas. Plus, you know, Winter went into the military for a bit. Still, pretty good track record considering!

Klein Sieben: Doing the work of seven good dads

Look, there is only one reason Klein wasn’t listed before the momsisters, and that reason is that he is technically the hired help (and could therefore become the fired help). He is, hands down, a better surrogate parent than Yang and Winter, providing guidance and care to all the Schneeblings and very effectively undoing the damage Jacques Gele (HE DOES NOT GET TO BE CALLED SCHNEE!) did to them. And he even helped out Willow! If he was allowed to do more, he would absolutely be My Real Dad of the year.

Qrow Branwen: “The only one that gets to be sad in this house is me!”

Qrow has a lot of flaws. Like, so so many flaws. As Yang said in a noncanon spinoff, he’s cool but not exactly a role model. Thing is, you don’t have to be a role model to be a good parent--you just have to make sure your kids (or nieces in this case) get good advice and the opportunity to grow into the best versions of themselves they can be. And when Qrow’s not beating himself up or drowning his sorrows, he’s actually very good at helping Yang and Ruby. Honestly the only reason he’s not on the actual list is because he’s technically not a parent.

Uncle Copper: Adopting a blind kid automatically makes you cool

So here we have a character that appeared in a single flashback in the novels, but from what we do know he was pretty likely to be a good guy. Like, raising a blind kid is hard enough; raising a blind kid in a desert after their actual parents got nommed by sand is so, so much more difficult. And yet, this guy said ‘If nobody else is going to adopt this kid I will!’ and by all measures he was a very caring and loving guy. Also, shout-out to the tribe, who took Fox in after Copper got killed by some maniac (and also killed said maniac). Fox has had a rough life, but it’s been filled with supportive people. Not everyone can say that.

Starr Sanzang: She put up with Sun

Sure, she’s only had one scene in one novel, but Starr showed patience and caring and... probably did a lot to make sure Sun stays as aggressively cheery and patient as he is. Plus she’s got a dojo in Vacuo now... okay, I’ll be honest, I don’t know nearly enough about her to really assess her. Still, as far as cousins go, Sun Wukong could do a lot worse. And there are the implications of their motifs to factor in...

Rhodes: If you’d done even just a little bit more--!

So, reasonably, what would you do when you see a little girl enslaved with a shock collar? Would you (A) get the girl out of there, (B) arrest the woman doing it, (C) try to get the girl therapy, or (D) all of the above? If you picked (E) secretly train the girl in swordplay so she can join a huntsman academy when she comes of age, then congratulations! You’ve given her hope! Good for you! And what if she snaps after five years of literal torture, kills her abuser, and then turns to you for comfort and/or approval? Welp, obviously she’s an irredeemable criminal and you have to bring her in, crushing all the faith she had in you and herself.

Seriously Rhodes, dropped the ball hard on that one. I’m only mentioning you because you had such a serious impact on Cinder’s development.

Brother Gods: Creating and destroying entire species

Like, okay. Look. These are the two that made humanity, so an argument could be made that they’re humanity’s parents. But, by the strict and arbitrary rules I have selected, they aren’t parents. And even if they were, they would be just the worst sort of parents possible. Darkbro is bad enough, what with viewing only strength as valuable and creating the Grimm and, you know, annihilating humanity that one time, but he’s at least honest and honorable. Not like the cryptic Lightbro, who doesn’t bother making sure people understand him, who doesn’t even keep his own promises to his brother... I get that they’re basically overpowered children. Yeah, they are. Still... kinda terrible.

So, now that that’s all done, let’s get to the actual list! After the break, so you don’t get stuck scrolling a lot. RWBY parents, from best to worst, are as follows:

23. Saphron and Terra Cotta-Arc: Two moms are better than none!

If I’m rating all the parents, and I am, then I have to acknowledge their flaws. And... these two don’t have any! Okay, fine, they used Adrian in a criminal scheme that one time (and that was literally just asking him to cry on command) and maybe Terra’s overworked and, to be fair, parenting a young kid is a lot different than parenting a teenager. But not only did they support their kid, they helped out all the kids that needed to room with them for a while! Saphron may also qualify as a momsister, depending on how well the Arcs managed their massive-numbered horde of kids. Look, the point is: Excellent parents. Bam.

22. Yatsuhashi's Parents: Their slipups weren’t their fault

When your kid can wipe your memories and you don’t know about it, you’re bound to get a few mistakes down the line. Luckily for everyone, after the whole incident with Hiyoko Yatsu came clean, and his parents made absolutely sure that he understood (A) that having such an ability was a big responsibility and (B) that even though he really screwed up he was NOT evil. Given the man that Yatsuhashi is now, I’m pretty confident in calling them great parents--even if they only appeared in a book flashback.

21. Coco's Dad: He exists!

That’s... honestly all I really know about him. He’s mentioned once in the books, and Coco has a few brothers. I’m kind of just assuming he’s a good parent from that, even if he didn’t figure out how to help Coco with her claustrophobia. So... yeah, shrug, Coco’s got a dad.

20: Ghira and Kali Belladonna: Actually marvelous people

Loving. Caring. Mentoring, protective. You may be asking why these two aren’t lower on the list, given that they are absolutely great for Blake, and I’ll have to admit that they only really made one slipup--letting Adam talk with Blake.

And okay, look. The thing about people like Adam is that they don’t start out showing their true colors. It’s always a slow, gentle broil. Blake was young and stupid, Adam was cute and edgy, and these parents want their daughter to be happy. So not twigging on what Adam really was--or at least not being able to properly convince Blake--that’s entirely understandable. And they did instill her with a strong enough moral code to leave when enough was enough, and they absolutely welcomed her back with open arms. Frankly, if the lower-listing parents didn’t exist, I would happily say they are the best parents in the show.

19. Pietro Polendina: He took Penny’s death flags

When you carve out part of your literal soul to bring your girl back from the dead, you get MAJOR parenting props. And even beyond that, Pietro is an absolutely caring and supportive father to everyone’s favorite bundle of sunshine. Even when she’s put in the rough position she was in, Pietro did his best to help her out. His one big flaw, though, is being overprotective and a bit presumptive. He does want Penny to live her best life, but he also can be just a touch too quick to say he knows what’s best for her. To his credit, when he’s called out on it, he does mend his ways. And he’s at least better then the GENERAL...

18. Salem and Ozma: Good parents, surprisingly!

Sure, Salem decided that world conquest was a good idea and wanted to put down anybody that wasn’t directly from her bloodline. Sure, she psychologically manipulated her husband when he had doubts. And, being fair, it’s highly likely that her four daughters were killed in the crossfire of her and Ozma’s little tuff. But! That was likely an accident, she’s been shown to still clearly mourn their passing, and before that point she absolutely loved and adored the girls. Ozma gets points for being a generally good person who fell in love with her before she became unstable and, honestly, was just trying to help his girls escape... and hey, he blames himself for their deaths. As does Salem.

Just because they’re kind of directly responsible for a LOT of Remnant’s woes doesn’t mean they aren’t good parents!

17. Will and Meg Scarlatina: Estranged but loving...

Yes, I know Rooster Teeth hasn’t officially confirmed that Bill is Will. I still believe though! Also it makes for a great picture, in any case.

Look, you can be the best and most loving parents ever--and from what we saw in the novels Will was definitely loving--but if you split up, your kid is going to get a little stressed. And hey, it’s not like these two were terrible people! Velvet’s just got a lot going on because of things entirely out of her control. Parents are people too, but sometimes the stress of one situation will leak out into another. Just... give people time to adapt.

16. Nicholas Schnee: The man, the legend, the titan!

Nicholas Schnee is the rockstar success story of Remnant. Some guy from Mantle put in all the work to make the SDC, and honestly from what little we know about him he was probably a great guy! But if we’re registering parental goodness, well... he wasn’t quite smart enough to warn Willow away from abusive gold diggers, and he’s not present when the story starts. So, yeah, even if he was a good parent otherwise--and I think he would be--he kinda... didn’t put in the work to prevent Willow breaking later. Still. Not deliberately terrible!

15. Li and An Ren: Don’t die in front of your kids, folks!

Seriously, it traumatizes them, especially if there’s a Grimm assault going on at the same time. Oh, double-especially if you reassure them that everything will be fine literally the second before the roof collapses on your head. And... well, okay, you couldn’t help your son and some random girl being the only survivors...

In all seriousness, that whole situation was absolutely out of their control. And before their deaths they were shown to be loving, wise, giving good advice to Lie Ren and helping him understand what the right thing to do was. Honestly, if they hadn’t died in front of him he’d be a lot better, mentally speaking. His trauma is not their fault. Plus Li went out distracting the big Grimm so Lie could run. No greater love hath man, indeed.

14. Summer Rose: Loving mother, ticking trauma bomb

When she was around, Summer Rose was probably the best mom Yang and Ruby could ask for. Sure, everyone could be exaggerating a little on how great a person she was--fond memories and grief can do that--but even taking that into account, she was probably a great and wonderful woman to be raised by. And hey, it turns out the reason she vanished was to go confront basically the Devil Herself so her kids wouldn’t have to live in a world where she existed! I can totally get the logic behind that.

And to be fair, “I’m going to do this on my own so nobody else suffers” is a pretty common character flaw among the RWBY cast. There are entire arcs where each character learns to overcome it. Still, wandering off on your lonesome without telling anyone was not the smartest move, Summer. Especially if you expected to die--which, you know, Devil Herself, high probability. And you know, if you had died, that would be bad enough, but now Ruby’s practically certain to have to fight your grimmified self. At least she figured out what happened to you before Salem decided to hammer in the trauma button, so she’ll be a little more ready, but... seriously.

13. The Arc Parents: Look, you try juggling eight kids!

To be fair, neither Arc parent has appeared on screen, but we can derive some of their traits from their kids. Jaune’s father said women like confident men. Jaune’s mother said strangers are friends you haven’t met yet. Jaune’s sister moved out of the house and (it’s implied) was happier for it. Jaune himself took his family’s ancestral weapon and ran off to Beacon to become a hero without any training whatsoever....

I get the impression that these two are not horrible parents, but they aren’t really stellar ones either. They slip up, don’t understand their children, give some really bad advice (as well as really good advice), and... look, it’s kind of middle of the road here. The Arcs could be wonderful people that just weren’t ready for the complexities of raising eight kids. I come from a big family myself, I know it can be stressful. And their kids turned out well anyway, so...

12. The Mother of Pyrrha Nikos: You taught your girl too well

Hero complexes are funny things. And Pyrrha Nikos... in retrospect, she was really hiding a lot of insecurities under that facade. Laying it all at this woman’s feet is unfair, I’ll admit, a lot of that came from being The Mistral Champion. But... with stories and fairy tales of heroes, it’s not hard to imagine a genuinely loving mother making sure her daughter knew right from wrong, always knew to act with mercy and protect the weak, and made her hardline into being a hero at the cost of her own... sense of self. It wouldn’t even be something either of them noticed, really. Good people can make bad choices sometimes.

11: Ilia's Parents: Oh god, can good people make bad choices...

So the idea of getting Ilia up to Atlas for a better life, that rocks (if you assume the propaganda to be true). And I’m certain her parents absolutely did what they did out of love. But what they did, you see, was tell Ilia to hide a very important part of herself from anybody who could find out, since it was likely she would be kicked out of the school she was in if people found out she was a faunus.

Which actually, did a lot of damage.

I mean look at Ilia now! She has trouble expressing herself until she explodes, she follows a crowd instead of her own morals, she broke down in tears when she finally did the right thing... Conceal Don’t Feel is never good advice, and these two went on and said ‘Honey, because of racism, you have to hide the fact you literally change color when you have emotions.’ Oh, and then they died offscreen--again, not their fault, but boy howdy did it give Ilia a complex.

10. Taiyang Xiao Long: Slumped at just the wrong time

Honestly, Tai as he is now is a wonderful dad. Supportive of his daughters in their time of need, able to lift their mood with a tasteless joke or two, frankly if we were assessing just how they were in the moment... I’d still be a little critical of his refusal to talk about the girls’ mothers, but hey, that’s minor. Compared to, you know...

Okay, so this needs serious addressing. Taiyang cannot be blamed for falling into a depressive slump. People can hurt, and need time to heal. That said, his depressive slump is at the root of Yang’s many issues, and frankly if she hadn’t had to pull herself together for Ruby she would be a major mess. It’s a bad situation all round, even if it’s not his fault.

9. Willow Schnee: “Kids, don’t wind up like me.”

Drowning her sorrows isn’t the best way to handle being stuck in an abusive marriage, but it was the best way Willow could think of. And, yeah, that really cut into her skills as a mom... but despite that, she did her darnedest to make sure her kids had what they needed to free themselves. Heck, once Jacques was out of the picture, she even pulled herself together and risked her life to save them! A broken women, to be sure, but not a shattered one.

8. Neptune's Mother: She exists!

Being fair, there’s not a lot to go on here. We know Neptune’s mother is a lawyer (insert evil lawyer joke), that their family are famous swimmers, and that his brother caused his hydrophobia by tossing him into the water. It does paint a bit of a picture, though, of everyone having expectations for Neptune that he was not able to live up to. Pretty poor parenting, if it’s true.

7. Nora Valkyrie's Mom: Come get your girl!

Literally the only factoid we have about Mama Valkyrie is that she abandoned her to the Grimm. We don’t know when this was, and it’s feasible it’s a case of ‘Oh No I Lost Track Of My Daughter In The Panic!’ But given we see young Nora scavenging for scraps of food... I’m not optimistic on her parenting skills.

6. Raven Branwen: "I wasn’t part of your life, how could I ruin it?”

Raven is just not a good mom at all. And, surprisingly, she seems to know it. Or that’s one interpretation of her character. The thing about Raven is that she plays her cards close to chest. We still don’t know why she left her daughter, and we only have inklings about the reasoning behind her behavior once they reunited. In the end, though... she did concede to Yang, she did apologize for something, and there’s a very deliberate indication that a lot of her behavior is a mask to both others and herself. So, terrible mother, for the moment, but self-aware.

5. Salem's Father: Explicitly noted as cruel

We get a bit more about Salem’s father from ‘Fairy Tales Of Remnant’, how he became possessive of the last remnant of his wife and locked her away in a tower. From what we know of him, that’s all he did--lock her away and not let her go. Still makes him a terrible dad. And with this, we transition firmly into the most definitively abusive parent figures. Everyone before this might have the excuse of not realizing what was going on or having their own damage, but now we’ve got parents actively deciding to make their kids’ lives worse.

4. Jacques Gelé: HE DOES NOT GET TO BE CALLED SCHNEE!

His children are property, to be manipulated and traded for the benefit of the company he married into, and any defiance is to be quelled instantly. He is manipulative, scheming, abusive, and frankly the worst sort of scumbag to ever wear a white suit. He does have the single redeeming quality of only leaning into the punishment if it benefits him; nobody would ever accuse the man of being needlessly cruel. His name is Jacques, and you will hate him... especially on the rare occasions he actually has a point.

3. The Marigolds: There’s no peppy tagline, they’re just mean

There’s not a picture of these jerks on the wiki, so you’ll have to make do with the woman that is no longer their daughter. See all that empty space around her? That’s about as close as they ever got. May spells out how much they hated her for having a heart, and how little they cared about her as a person, in one epic line. And even if they have other redeeming qualities (unlikely) we can tell they’d probably still be terrible parents because of how sleazy May’s cousin is. Honestly, for once I’m glad some characters don’t get pictures. They don’t deserve to be remembered. They aren’t even the cool kind of evil, they’re just... gross.

2. Marcus Black: Look if you train your kid to be a killer...

...you’re going to have to expect them to kill you. I mean, you basically ripped apart Mercury’s legs, man. He had to get cyberlegs. Also, you used your semblance to steal his. Which, given that semblances come from aura, and that aura is a manifestation of the soul, is kinda... that’s a deeply personal and intimate violation. Sure, you got your assassin kid. And can we talk about the fact that Marcus was an assassin? It’s not a pretty job. I guess I can see all the abuse--physical and mental--as a good way to train up another assassin, but... geeze, if that’s your goal, why did you use your own kid?! Why not hire some angsty teenager?! Yeah, no, Markus Black stood high on my list of parental monsters... and was only toppled by the arrival of one other.

1. Madame of the Glass Unicorn: She only appeared in one episode and she rocketed to the top of this list, that should tell you something

Let’s be clear here: What Madame did to Cinder is bad enough. It was literally slavery. Enforced by a shock collar. And because the collar looked like a necklace, she pulled it off in front of I don’t know how many clients. Granted, said clients were racists, why else would they be customers at a ‘We Do Not Serve Faunus’ hotel, but keeping her torture just out of the public eye very clearly shows both that she knew what she was doing was illegal and that she was clever enough to avoid detection.

Oh... and then there are her birth daughters.

With Cinder, she was abusive to a dangerous degree. With her daughters, she was permissive, not only allowing but encouraging them to bully their adoptive sister. The whole point of parenthood is to teach your children how to become the best version of themselves, but Madame didn’t even bother to instill a semblance of morality in these girls. She used them as extensions of her will, and they obliviously played along because that was all they knew.

You’d think the biggest monster on the show would be the Grimm woman, but no--it’s some random lady with a hotel.

[dreamescapeswriting]

BTS Reaction | You’re Slim Thick [Request]

Slim Thick:  The term describes a woman with “with big/toned thighs, plump booty, normal sized hips AND a flat/toned stomach

Seokjin:

The fans loved you and everything that you did for them, a few of them had convinced you to turn your personal Instagram into a business account so that more people could find you. You were always promoting self-love and how to love yourself a lot as the boys and Jin helped you a lot with it since it was he and the boys that had helped you anyway.

"You alright?" Jin asked when he came in from the studio one night to see you scrolling through something on your phone, you were frowning at it but had a small smile on your lips.

"Someone made a fan account?" You laughed nervously and showed him the phone screen. Someone had created an entire Instagram page dedicated to you and your way of promoting self-love. There were video edits and image edits, and although you and Jin were together and had many photos together not a single one appeared on the account. The owner - whoever it was - claimed that this was a place just for you and your positivity, not that Jin wasn't positive but they wanted a place to express their love for everything you did for them and many other people alike.

"It's sweet, they're all sharing stories about how you've helped them grow and learn to love themselves." Jin continued reading through the stories and told you some of the ones that he saw. They really loved the way that you used your platforms in a positive way and how you were always kind to everyone that you met even in real life, fans came up to you and you were always calm to them.

Yoongi:

You were an Instagram influencer before you and Yoongi started dating but once it was announced that you were together your account got bigger and you were recognised more whenever you were Yoongi or alone.

"It's a small interview, you'll be okay." Yoongi said as you stood in the waiting area with him, you'd been asked to give a small interview after some Army and some of your fans had nominated for you an award. You'd won by a landslide but now you had to give an interview about why you had won and what your account was about.

"They love you, it'll be fine." He assured you, he took hold of your hand and reminded you why you'd been nominated in the first place. You’d been nominated for ‘Inspirational influencer of the year’ someone who had been a positive influence to those who follow them,

“Y/n?” You looked up and followed a lady into her office ready to do the interview.

When it came out online everyone loved it, complimenting you on everything that you had mentioned in the interview. You’d been questioned on everything you posted about, and why you posted them and you said there was too much negative in the world and everyone deserved to think positively about their body and everyone elses body.

“People come in all different shapes and sizes, not everyone is going to blend into one mould and everyone should be different. More power to you if you’re different, you’re unique and brilliant in your own special way.” Yoongi read out the last quote you’d given and you smiled at him as he came over and gave you a kiss on the cheek, reminding you of how proud he was of you.

Hoseok:

"No, look I'm telling you it wasn't her it was the one that was in the closet-" You stopped talking to Hoseok about the killer show you had started that morning when you saw a fan standing behind him.

"Hi." You said with a smile to her and she smiled back,

"Do you want me to take a photo of you together?" You offered but she shook her head and smiled,

"I wanted to talk to you...to thank you actually." You and Hoseok both looked taken back. Your relationship had been out for a year and you'd had a couple of fans come up and thank you for keeping Hoseok happy but this was different.

"I wanted to thank you for always putting out positive vibes for us, for all body types. You're always so nice with us and other people and you're so sweet." You smiled at her as she continued to list the things she was thankful to you for. Hoseok smirked from his seat as he watched her talking to you.

"You're always putting out realistic goals for everyone's body it's just a nice change to see that instead of all the other people that are too skinny for words, or try to put on unrealistic goals." You smiled at her and moved over so she could sit down next to you and ask you more questions because you could tell the conversation was far from being over.

"What work outs do you do?" You shrugged your shoulders and looked at Hoseok,

"Dancing with him mostly but sometimes I run or swim when I feel up to it." It was as though she was taking notes down in her head but she smiled and told you she was going to try them all out at some point.

Namjoon:

You made videos online for people to watch, you'd been doing it for years and continued to do it when you were dating Namjoon but the small following you had gathered had grown into a huge one since Army wanted to watch the person who made their idol happy but they were also learning a lot from you. They started to love you more for your than just because you were dating someone that they loved, you were always coming across as positive in the videos and you never used Namjoon to grow your own following. The only time he’d ever appeared in videos were in bloopers or the one time you did a dance practice together but they loved it. They also loved the fact that you were always trying to spread body positivity on your youtube account as well as all of your social media accounts, you’d noticed someone being hated on in your comment section and you went into the comments and defended them against people who were being mean. Army joined in and decided to help defend the girl that had been bullied on.

“You took it down in a positive way though, no one bullied them back.” Namjoon said that night, you’d curled up next to one another in bed and you told him you were worried it would reflect badly. But the girl who was being attacked didn’t deserve it.

“You did the right thing Jagi,” He wrapped his arm around you and kissed the top of your head.

Jimin:

You were backstage in the changing room going through twitter when you found the thread about yourself, it was bizarre to you to find something like this. It was a thread dedicated to you and the way your body was shaped, focused on what you ate and what you did to maintain your figure. You read through it all before showing it to Jimin after his concert,

"They got some things wrong though, do I correct them?" You didn't want to piss anybody off by telling them they were wrong but you also didn't want people trying out the diet and workouts they'd put down that you did when you didn't.

"Yeah, if they're wrong you should make it right Jagi." He went off to shower after giving you a kiss on the head and you retweeted the thread telling them all of the corrections. Mentioning that you didn't have a specific diet type and just mentioned everything you ate on the daily basis and mentioning the actual workouts that you did. Instead of the harmful ones that had been listed that you had done.

“All good?” Jimin asked jumping over the back of the sofa and sitting down next to you, you handed him your phone proudly and smiled.

“They love you for this,” He chuckled reading through some of the comments that were thanking you for spreading light on everything that had been said in the thread and thanked you for being the way you were.

Taehyung:

You were doing a vlive with Taehyung, he’d invited you on to react to the newest music video and the new single that Army had been given earlier that day and it had started with you giving your first impressions and reactions but it had somehow turned into q&a session about you. Army asking you questions on your body type and how you managed to maintain it even when you were travelling a lot with Taehyung.

“I tend to work out in the gyms with him whenever he’s on tour and when we’re home I’ll normally just do some dance routines,” Then the questions started to flood in about what you ate and questioning you on advice for clothing styles that would best suit people of simuliar build.

“I tend to dress for me rather than everyone else, don’t let anyone put you in a box. If you want to wear something, wear it. Simple as that.” You giggled as more questions flooded in but you tried to keep the vlive on track of what was happening and what the vlive was originally about.

Jungkook:

You were sitting on your phone scrolling through your Instagram comments to try and reply to as many people as you could, you always tried to do this after posting something because a lot of ARMY would come to your comment section and ask for opinions on things, or question you on your body type and you didn't mind answering them.

"What's wrong?" Jungkook asked when he looked up at you, you had furrowed your eyebrows together and you were staring down at your phone.

"Nothing, I'm just trying to think of how to respond to something that someone asked." He moved to sit next to you and you showed him the question,

"Might be better to go live and talk about it." You nodded in agreement and opened up an Instagram live. Jungkook moved away from you again not wanting the entire thing to be about him being there.

"Hi guys, I'll wait for a couple of you to flood in and then I'll talk about the question that was left under my photo." You said with a smile trying not to come across as nervous, you'd never done anything like this before. The only time you'd been on a live video was with Jungkook and even then the focus was on him and not you and your body type.

"Okay so the question was ''How do I dress for our body type, we're the same way and I can't find anything that looks nice." You sighed and scratched the back of your neck.

"For me I tend to dress however I want, or in a way that makes me feel confident. Don't let anyone ever tell you what you can and can't wear, if you like it and the outfit makes you happy, wear it." You read through some of the comments that were moving quickly.

"You're always so positive about these things, how do you do it?" You smiled as you read it out and shrugged your shoulders.

"My whole life I was brought up being told what I did and didn't look good in, what people didn't want me to wear and in the end I decided that I would do whatever I wanted to do. Wear what I was confident in and not care what anybody else thought about it. It took me a long time before I finally got to that point but dress how you want is the answer to that." The live continued on for another hour until they ran out of questions and then you ended it, Jungkook coming over to you and hugging you from the side.

"You did good Jagiya," You hummed and closed your eyes resting your head on his shoulder and smiling about how lucky you were to have him.

Tagline: 

@writingdreamsnottragedies​ @yoongisdumplingcheeks​ @snowy-meowl​ @lynnthevirgo​ @jooniesdarlingdimples​ @fan-ati--c​ @lyoongx​ @mitzwinchester​ @callingmyangel​ @rjsmochii​ @btsiguess-kpop​ @kneel-begyourpardon​ @taestannie​

[witchbitchheadedtoaditch]

Shadow Work Prompts Part 2

Hello my loves! I'm going to add some more shadow work prompts (primarily because... Kaye needs to do shadow work and maybe this will convince them to do it. (It won't. We all know it won't. But we can hope....))

I'm gonna put these below the cut just so people don't have to scroll through this long as fuck list on their dash if they don't want to see them lol

Some of these are really, really heavy, and do touch on things like sexual assault, abuse, death, etc., so this is the trigger warning for you.

A lot of these are also focused on women and AFAB folks because I'm trying to reconcile with my femininity and whatnot.

Anne Carson Quotes

You remember too much, my mother said to me recently. Why hold onto all that? And I said, Where can I put it down?

Why does tragedy exist? Because you are full of rage. Why are you full of rage? Because you are full of grief.

Words bounce. Words, if you let them, will do what they want to do and what they have to do.

Eros is an issue of boundaries. He exists because certain boundaries do. ... Eros: the boundary of flesh and self between you and me.

Desire is no light thing.

It is easier to tell a story of how people wound one another than of what binds them together.

Reality is a sound, you have to tune in to it not just keep yelling.

All mortals owe a debt to death.

...sex is a substitute, like money or language.

...your story begins the moment Eros enters you. That incursion is the biggest risk of your life. How you handle it is an index of the quality, wisdom, and decorum of the things inside you.

Myths are stories about people who become too big for their lives temporarily, so that they crash into other lives or brush against gods. In crisis their souls are visible.

Philosophers say man forms himself in dialogue.

There is no person without a world.

If there is anything dearer than being alive, it's dark to me.

We humans seem disastrously in love with this thing... life.

The underworld's a blank and all the rest just fantasy.

Caught between the tongue and the taste.

What is mortality after all but divine doubt flashing over us? For an instant God suspends assent and poof! we disappear.

Girls are cruelest to themselves.

What really connects words and things?

Blessed be they whose lives do not taste of evil

Perhaps the hardest thing about losing a lover is to watch the year repeat its days.

Consider incompleteness as a verb.

You can get used to anything, my mother was in the habit of saying.

I am talking about evil. It blooms. It eats. It grins.

I don't want to be a person. I want to be unbearable.

Beauty makes me hopeless.

The dead... are victims of love, many of them.

To live past the end of your myth is a perilous thing.

You read a hundred military manuals you won't find the word kill they trick you into killing.

I went mad, a god hurt me, I fell.

Those nights lying alone are not discontinuous with this cold hectic dawn. It is who I am.

Love does not make me gentle or kind.

Your grief is as great as your splendor was: some god is weighing the one out equal to the other.

You can never know enough, never work enough, ... never leave the mind quickly enough.

Language is what eases the pain of living with other people, language is what makes the wounds come open again.

Where does unbelief begin?

Everything that is me is with me.

A wound gives off its own light...

I began to think I was someone thirsting for God.

You are a person in love with the impossible.

When we are denied a story, a light goes off.

Some conversations are not what they're about.

I lack myself.

Who knows what will happen if I'm alone with my grief.

I... forbid that you should ever lose your screams.

You are not a god. You are not that enlarged self. Indeed, you are not even a whole self, as you now see. Your new knowledge of possibilities is also a knowledge of what is lacking in the actual.

There is a loneliness that fills the plain.

The women of mythology regularly lose their form in monstrosity.

We live by waters breaking out of the heart.

Time as hunger. Time passing and gazing. Time as perseverance. Mountain time. Time as paper folded to look like a mountain. Time compared to the wild fantastic silence of stars.

What are we made of but hunger and rage?

When I look at you, even for a moment, no speaking is left in me.

Kelly Cherry Quotes

I didn't find my story; it found me.

There is blood everywhere and I am lost in it. I breathe blood, not air.

The story of [their] great-grandfather [or any ancestor]... was [their] own story, too.

Ashe Vernon Quotes

Don't you dare, for one minute, believe that my kindness makes me anything but insurmountable.

Understand that I am not your next victim in a laundry list of broken girls.

I will eat you alive before I let you make a meal of me.

What they don't tell you about standing up for what you believe in is that your feet will bruise and your legs will ache.

I'd like to take a moment to submit a formal apology to my soft parts because they kept me warm when I was trying to freeze to death, and I hated them for it.

I let myself be afraid.

When you learn you are only as good as your beauty routine, you forget how to define yourself by anything else.

I will know how to be vulnerable with you, but I won't know how to not regret it.

I know how to put my body inside someone else's but not how to make it beautiful.

I love better at a distance.

I am as much lion as I am lion tamer.

I got good at inflicting pain the same way I got good at soothing it.

Quit picking old wounds and going tor walks in the aches and pains you already made it through--you call it healing, but it sounds like a good way to take a haunting home with you.

I am a cathedral of almost-lovers

Louise Gluck Quotes

We look at the world once, in childhood. The rest is memory.

I thought that pain meant I was not loved. It meant I loved.

The soul is silent. If it speaks at all it speaks in dreams.

Intense love always leads to mourning.

You will never let go, you will never be satiated.

It will feed you, it will ravish you, it will not keep you alive.

Why love what you will lose? There is nothing else to love.

I speak because I am shattered.

I don't need your praise to survive.

Whatever returns from oblivion returns to find a voice.

Nakedness in women is always a pose. I was not transfigured. I would never be free.

The unsaid, for me, exerts great power.

I am tired of human... I want to live on the sun

Death cannot harm me more than you have harmed me, my beloved life.

There are places like this... you enter as a young girl... you never return.

Writing is a kind of revenge against circumstance, too: bad luck, loss, pain. If you make something out of it, then you've no longer been bested by these events.

The riddle was: why couldn't we live in the mind. The answer was: the barrier of the earth intervened.

It is true that there is not enough beauty in the world. It is also true that I am not competent to restore it. Neither is there candor, and here I may be of some use.

You're not a creature in body. You exist as the stars exist, participating in their stillness, their immensity.

And then, suddenly, something is over.

You must be taught to love me. Human beings must be taught to love silence and darkness.

Sappho Quotes

Someone will remember us/I say/even in another time.

Their heart grew cold. They let their wings down.

What cannot be said will be wept.

What is beautiful is good, and who is good will soon be beautiful

Once again love drives me on, that loosener of limbs, bittersweet creature against which nothing can be done.

Love shook my heart like the wind on the mountain rushing over the oak trees

Love is a cunning weaver of fantasies and fables.

I know not what to do, my mind is divided.

The female creature is a letter.

No holy place existed without us then

She who loves roses must be patient and not cry when she is pierced by thorns.

Because I prayed this word: I want.

If you had a desire for good or beautiful things and your tongue were not concocting some evil to say, shame would not hold down your eyes but rather you would speak about what is just.

Wealth without virtue is no harmless neighbor.

I am weary of all your words and soft, strange ways.

Paisley Rekdal Quotes

Does it offend you to watch me working in it, touching my hands to the greening tips or tearing the yellow stalks back, so wild the living and dead both snap off in my hands?

I can wait longer than sadness.

It is such a small thing to be proud of.

Should I, too, not be loved?

We are even now still so young

I loved him. I loved forgiving him.

Yasmin Belkhyr Quotes

Contrary to wound, I still know nothing of defeat.

Contrary to ache, I still know nothing of guilt.

I help: a good daughter.

Someone always ends up holding something mangled.

It wasn't enough to feel... he had to see, to know.

Adrienne Rich Quotes

There must be those among whom we can sit down and weep and still be counted as warriors.

Lying is done with words, and also with silence

Responsibility to yourself means refusing to let others do your thinking, talking, and naming for you; it means learning to respect and use your own brains and instincts; hence, grappling with hard work.

When a woman tells the truth she is creating the possibility for more truth around her.

My heart is moved by all I cannot save: so much has been destroyed

If you are trying to transform a brutalized society into one where people can live in dignity and hope, you begin with the empowering of the most powerless. You build from the ground up.

Until we know the assumptions in which we are drenched, we cannot know ourselves.

The truth of our bodies and our minds has been mystified to us.

It will take all your heart, it will take all your breath. It will be short, it will not be simple.

You look at me like an emergency.

The unconscious wants truth. It ceases to speak to those who want something else more than truth.

In a world where language and naming are power, silence is oppression, is violence.

There is no 'the truth', 'a truth'--truth is not one thing, or even a system. It is an increasing complexity. The pattern of the carpet is a surface. When we look closely, or when we become weavers, we learn of the tiny multiple threads unseen in the overall pattern, the knots on the underside of the carpet.

The moment of change is the only poem

There is nothing revolutionary whatsoever about the control of women's bodies by men. The woman's body is the terrain on which the patriarchy is erected.

The scars bear witness but whether to repair or to destruction I no longer know.

Not biology, but ignorance of ourselves, has been the key to our powerlessness

What kind of beast would turn its life into words?

Truthfulness, honor, is not something which springs ablaze of itself; it has been created between people.

You touched me in places so deep I wanted to ignore you

Silence can be a plan rigorously executed, the blueprint to a life, it is a presence, it has a history, a form. Do not confuse it with any kind of absence.

Most women have not even been able to touch this anger, except to drive it inward like a rusted nail.

We have lived with violence for so long.

This is my body, take it and destroy it

We have been raised to fear the yes within ourselves, our deepest cravings. And the fear of our deepest cravings keeps them suspect, keeps us docile and loyal and obedient, and leads us to settle for... many facets of our own oppression.

Every journey into the past is complicated by delusions, false memories, false namings of real events.

A language is a map of our failures.

The more I live the more I think two people together is a miracle.

Poetry is, among other things, a criticism of language.

How do you make it, all the way from here to morning?

An honorable human relationship--that is, one in which two people have the right to use the word "love"--is a process, delicate, violent, often terrifying to both persons involved, a process of refining the truths they can tell each other.

You grieve in loneliness, and if I understand you fuck in loneliness.

We write from the marrow of our bones.

The liar has many friends, and leads an existence of great loneliness

We must use what we have to invent what we desire.

William Styron Quotes

We're all in this game together.

In depression this faith in deliverance, in ultimate restoration, is absent. The pain is unrelenting, and what makes the condition intolerable is the foreknowledge that no remedy will come-not in a day, an hour, a month, or a minute.

It is hopelessness even more than pain that crushes the soul

We each devise our means of escape from the intolerable.

Reading--the best state yet to keep absolute loneliness at bay.

Judging whether life is or is not worth living amounts to answering the fundamental question of philosophy.

Let your love flow out on all living things.

Loss in all of its manifestations is the touchstone of depression--in the progress of the disease and, most likely, in its origin.

Kai Cheng Thom Quotes

I wanted to protect you, but I'm starting to think that the best thing you can do for people is teach them how to protect themselves. Every girl needs to be at least a little dangerous.

A sanctuary is a place where the door only locks from the inside.

Sometimes to be somebody else, you have to be nobody first.

You will be able to stop hurting people when you stop hurting yourself.

When you're a child trapped in a situation of physical or psychological depravation, you learn shame as an efficient, elegant mechanism of survival: shame simultaneously shields you from the reality that danger is out of your control (since the problem is not that you're unloved and deprived; it's that you're Bad) and prevents you from doing or saying anything challenging that might provoke a threat.

It's good for you to cry sometimes. Even if there isn't a reason.

When you live in a community of queers, anarchists, & activists, crisis is the baseline and stability an outlier.

You are mine like nothing has ever been before.

Safety is, I believe, an inherently classed, raced, and gendered experience that frequently runs the risk of being used for regressive ends--ironically, for restricting the freedoms of the vulnerable, those who are never really safe. Often, we see the call for safety actually reinforce the power of oppressive institutions, like the police and the prison system, in our lives. When we choose safety over liberation, our movements fail.

When they looked at me and my sister, even their love was hungry.

Some people will cling on to anything that makes them feel even a little bit free.

Forget, if you can, all the promises you've ever made and the lies that you've told.

Once you start hurting people, you can't stop

I feel tired. I don't want to be myself anymore.

Sometimes it's important to be alive.

Sometimes, there is nothing you can do but surrender.

You are always disappearing in the hope of being seen. You are always shrinking to fit into someone else's arms. You are collapsing ever inward, a galaxy to become smaller.

Gregory Orr Quotes

If we're not supposed to dance, why all this music?

Even hell is holy.

I was born with a knife in one hand and a wound in the other.

Maybe she loved me, maybe not--who knows? Not even the gods can see into a human heart--it's that dark.

Writing often reveals us to ourselves, lets us name what's important to us and what has been silent or silenced inside us.

And to live only once--what if that's not enough?

Maybe it was always simple: loss surrounds us. Who would deny it? We ourselves are loss, are lost.

I want to study the book of the world: every vanishing page.

The dead sing us songs I'm learning to answer.

[imanativeofswlondondahling]

Becoming A Stark? (1) Peter Parker X Stark! Fem Reader

A/N: This will eventually be a Peter Parker X Stark! femReader. However, there was backstory needed so Peter won’t be introduced until Chapter Six. This takes place after Iron Man 3 but before AOU. However time is wishy washy and will pass in weird ways so lol opps. Let me know if you want to be tagged.

Word Count: 3073

Warnings: Swearing

You feel it in your soul that you will hate Tony Stark for the rest of your life. It doesn’t matter that you’re related to him. It doesn’t matter that you’re his daughter. He ripped you from everything you’ve ever known. You were happy living with your grandparents. Sure they were getting up there in age, but you were happy. You had a life, you had friends, hell you had been working on moving forward with your crush and were hoping to have a date to homecoming this year. But all of that was ruined the day that Tony Stark waltzed through your front door. You can’t help but think back to that interaction. 

“Nana, who’s this?”

“Tony Stark. Genius, billionaire, philanthropist, Iron Man, to name a few things. I’d offer a hand but that’s not something I normally do. I guess, maybe I should due to the circumstances but…” It’s not the first time you’ve seen his face. The Avengers have saved New York a few times, but it is the first time you’ve seen him up close. The dark haired stranger trails off and you’re put off by his attitude alone. Why was someone this stuck up standing in your living room? So instead of saying anything, you turn your head back to your book. Tony decides to take a seat at the opposite end of the couch and tries again. “What are you reading?” 

Instead of answering, you just hold up the book and let him read the cover. Once and Future, spelled out on the spine of the book that you had removed the book jacket from while you read. “Y/N, maybe put the book down for a few minutes. I think Mr. Stark-”

“Tony is fine.”

“I think Tony and you need to discuss something.” You hesitantly pick up the receipt you had been using as a bookmark and slide it into the book, not wanting to leave Ari Helix behind, but you wouldn’t be rude to your Nana on a good day. On a day that you had trudged through the snow in your converse, maybe, but not on purpose.

“I don’t know him. I don’t think we have anything to discuss.”

“You’re right, we don’t know each other yet, but I’m hoping that will change with everything that’s going to happen.”

“What’s going to happen?” You can feel your eyebrows fall towards your eyes as you feel as though something is about to change without your permission.

“Well Y/N, I’m… I’m your dad.”

“Bullshit.” You say quickly. “Tony Stark doesn’t have kids. And if he did, there would have been a fucking gossip blog screaming about it already.”

“Well you definitely have my mouth if nothing else.” Tony adds with a chuckle. 

“I don’t have anything of yours, because you’re not my dad. I never want to see you again. Get the fuck out.” You push off the couch and turn to run off to your room.

“See that’s going to be a little tough seeing as you're supposed to come live with me.”

“What the fuck did you just say?” You turn on your heels, the anger building quickly. You’ve always been a bit of a hot head, but in this moment you don’t even try to control your temper. “I have a home, thank you very kindly. I don’t fucking know you. And I’m not looking to find a dad anytime soon.” The words spit out of you before you can stop any of them. 

“See the thing is, you’re fourteen and I’m your dad. Custodially, you’re supposed to live with me.”

“See the thing is,” you mock before continuing, “You didn’t care for fourteen years, so I don’t give a shit what you think you’re supposed to be doing custodially.” You can’t help but add air quotes around the word custodially. It burns as it leaves your lips. He hasn’t cared about you for fourteen years, why start now? 

“That’s because I didn’t know you existed Y/N. I found out about you twenty four hours ago and I’m stepping up now.” The words leave his mouth in an exasperated tone, but he doesn’t raise his voice.

“How?”

“How what?”

“How did you find out about me?” 

“Your high school.”

“What?”

“When you registered for school they had your birth certificate. They needed more information. Since it listed me as your father, they reached out to Nat- to my assistant. It was quite the shock to me that my child’s school was reaching out to me, since I didn’t know I had a child but the timing adds up and looking at you, it makes a lot of sense.”

“You were listed on my birth certificate?” This question was aimed at your grandparents more than at Tony-your father.

“We didn’t know if it was true or not. Your mom was in a bad place when she had you Y/N. So we had to take everything she said with a grain of salt. Was she beautiful and loving and did she love you? Yes completely. But did a lot of what she said during that time make sense? No, not at all.” Your nana says as she sits down on the couch, rubbing her knee. It’s probably another bad day. If you leave, who will make sure Nana and Pops are ok?

“I can’t go with you.” You cross your arms as you speak to Ton-your father.

“Why not?” His eyebrow raises over his square glasses.

“‘Cuz someone has to help Nana and Pops around the house.”

“I’ll make sure there’s a nurse helping them. Or better we can move them into a nursing facility where they don’t have to go up and down a bunch of flights of steps all the time.”

“Why would you do that.” The question came out as a demand, especially since you don’t want to believe this man that’s taking you away from the only family you’ve ever known would do something… nice.

“Because they’re your family. I’m not heartless. Well I guess that depends on what your belief on science is and arc reactors are, but technically I do still have a heart underneath all of this.” He points to where you know there would be metal and lights under his suit. “But for right now, we need to focus on getting you to the tower.”

“What tower?”

“Avenger’s tower? It’s closer than Malibu? And in less shambles.”

“So you’re moving me from the home that I know and love, but you don’t even live where you’re moving me?”

“I live there a lot of the time. And the Avengers are there most of the time which means you’ll be very safe. But I do have to travel for business.”

“Then I’ll stay where I am thanks.” Tony goes to speak when Wallace goes off. The beeping is only jarring for him since you and your Nana are used to it going off at random times.

“What the hell is that?”

“That is Wallace.” You say, not clearing up anything. Hmmm, your Dexcom says you’re 205 and rising? You could have sworn you had insulin on board. So you unclip the pump from your side and tap the screen to enter your blood sugar. No correction needed. 

“You good babydoll?” Your nana asks from across the living room.

“I’m good. I have insulin on board.”

“You’re diabetic?” Tony asks, putting two and two together.

“Yup. Have been since I was four.”

“And Wallace?” He asks hesitantly.

“Do you honestly care?” You say before rolling your eyes and walking towards the kitchen. Mentally, you slap yourself. You should have grabbed your book. Now you’ll either have to start a new one or wait until your father, you roll your eyes at even saying it, leaves so you can continue your space adventure. Walking down the hallway you enter your room and close the door behind you. All you want to do is shut out the bombshell that was dropped on you and not deal with it. But for some reason you get the feeling that Tony Stark, freaking Iron Man, isn’t one to just let things go. 

Giving up on the idea of starting another book, you open your computer and click your Spotify to start playing the playlist you had paused this morning when you had left to run errands with Pops. You only have two weeks of summer left, so you had spent time getting school supplies and groceries before returning to the apartment. While Hitchin’ A Ride by Green Day starts playing, you open Twitter, hoping for anything to distract yourself. But somehow you find yourself on Tony Stark’s Twitter. It was less narcissistic that you imagined for him. Some retweets about Stark Industries, a few comical tweets about wanting a cheeseburger, and then a tweet from twenty four hours that just said HOLY SHIT in all caps and nothing else. Could that be about you? Closing out Twitter, you find yourself opening up your Tumblr to scroll as Lithium by Nirvana played. Or well you tried to scroll, but a knock on your door interrupts you. 

“Can I come in?” Tony’s head peaks in.

“If I say no will you go?” You say without looking up.

“Probably not. The people in my inner circle say I’m fairly stubborn.”

“Hmm.” Is the only reply you give him. To be fair, a lot of your friends would say you’re stubborn too so it’s not that surprising that your father is too. 

“I know you don’t like it kiddo-”

“Don’t call me kiddo.

“-but we do need to head to the Tower soon. Happy’s been parked downstairs for about as long as he’s allowed to be there.” Tony continues as if you hadn’t said anything. “So how about you pack up stuff you’ll need for the next few days and then I can send Happy and some other people to come get the rest later on?”

“You’re going to send people to pack up my stuff? You know how invasive that is?” 

“Ok, I’ll send you over with them, you can pack it up and they’ll move it to the tower, it’s your choice. Or to Malibu if you’d rather. Well that is once the rebuild is done. Long story. But if you stay at the tower, you won’t have to change schools.”

“Yippee. Everyone at school will get to find out that Tony Stark is my father. How much fun will that be.” Your voice is dripping with sarcasm. “I definitely wanted to be ostracized my first year at high school. Thanks for making it even better than I could ever imagine high school being.”

“Look I know this isn’t a win/win scenario, but we can keep your name out of the press until your eighteen if you want. You’re a minor-”

“Yeah, but when the paparazzi see me coming out of the tower, that won’t tip them off.”

“I’ll have Happy drive you. There’s a garage entrance. No one will see you coming or leaving.”

“Great so I just have to give up my freedom. That’s even better than I imagined.”

“Y/N, I know this isn’t what you wanted, or even what you want, but I think we can come up with something that works in the long run. Plus I’m having Pepper, you’ll meet her later, take over SI so I won’t have to do as much. I can try to stay in New York as much as possible. Because no matter what happens, you’re my daughter and I want to know you.” You don’t say anything in response. “I hope one day, you feel similarly.” He says softly.

“I doubt it.” You say honestly. 

“Well even if that’s the case, right now we do need to pack up some stuff to take to the tower for now. Want me to hel-” He starts to pick up a sweatshirt from the end of your bed and you snatch it from his hand as you reply.

“I’ve got it.”

“Y/N, we’re here.” Your father’s voice pulls you from your thoughts and you look at the non descript parking garage that is under what you assume is the tower. The man you’ve figured out is Happy, though he’s the exact opposite of Happy, opens your door and you climb out, knowing that Tony will be behind you. Happy goes to grab your bags from the trunk, but you stop him. 

“I’ve got it.”

“It’s part of my job.”

“I don’t have an issue carrying my own stuff like some people.” From the trunk you lift out your purple backpack, the black rolling suitcase, and the canvas bag that’s filled with all your pump supplies, sensors, and insulin. You follow Tony and Happy towards an elevator. 

“JARVIS take us to the main floors.”

“Certainly sir.” You look up expecting to see a face or something but there’s no one there.

“JARVIS is the AI that runs the whole tower. If you need anything JARVIS is the one to ask. If there’s specific food you want or if you need stuff for school or, well, anything really, just ask JARVIS. I’ll get you added to the levels of clearance that allow you to order anything that you want.”

“You don’t have to do that.”

“Part of you living with me is that I’m going to provide for you. JARVIS is part of providing for you. I’m not the best at remembering to like grocery shop or send the laundry out so JARVIS helps with that.”

“Send the laundry out? Do you not have a washer and dryer in this whole place?” You cock an eyebrow at how spoiled he sounds.

“We do, but there are other things that take time away from me.” You add continue to do my own laundry to the mental list of things that will make you different from your father. Tony notices the disapproval marked in his daughter’s face and hopes that maybe meeting the Avengers will make up for the disappointment he’s been to her so far. The doors open and in the living room Natasha and Clint are sitting watching a movie while Steve sits in a chair reading a book. “Where’s Code Green?”

“In the lab,” Steve comments, not looking up from the page he’s on.

“That’s Capsicle. Legolas is sitting next to Nat. Big Green is down in the lab and Point Break is currently back at home but you’ll meet him eventually, though hopefully not his brother.” At the sound of being introduced the three in the living room look up and see the girl standing next to Tony in surprise.

“Uh, Tony, are we taking pint size Avengers now?” Clint asks.

“I might be small, but I can kick your knees out just as easily.” You pull on the strap of your backpack, not really wanting to be in this room much longer. 

“Ok, before you kick anyone’s knees out. This is not an Avenger recruit. This is Y/N Stark, my daughter.” Ok taking on his last name was something you were going to have to talk to him about because you were perfectly happy being Y/N Y/L/N, not this Y/N Stark bullshit.

“You have a kid?” Steve asks, genuine confusion spread across his face. 

“I do. I didn’t know until yesterday, but I’m doing the right thing.” You can’t stop the snort that escapes you. Tony looks over at you.

“Sorry,” You say although you don’t mean it. “Can I es- go to my room?”

“‘Yes, you can escape to your room. I’ll show you where it is.” 

“I got it boss. I think you have some people that need answers.” Happy offers. You’re silently relieved that Happy offered to show you. If you had to spend another minute with your dad, you might lose your mind. Happy walks you into the kitchen and opens the fridge as you go past it. You look at him, trying to figure out why he’s opening it. “Tony told me you’re diabetic. You have insulin that needs refrigeration right?”

“Oh, yeah I just didn’t know he told you.”

“Head of security. There’s not much he doesn’t tell me.” Happy turns them towards a staircase leading away from where all the Avengers are. “But you know if you need someone to talk to, or grab a cheeseburger with, there’s things he doesn’t have to know about.”

“I don’t eat meat, but I appreciate it, Happy.”

“He’s going to say you’re not his kid if you don’t eat cheeseburgers.” And for the first time since all of this started, you actually let out a laugh.

Tony’s head turns towards the sound of the laugh. It’s unfamiliar, but he wants to hear more of it. He’s missed fourteen years of your life, but he wants to make things better, he does. He’s just not sure how.

“So you found out you have a kid?” Steve asks, his book forgotten now.

“Yeah, yesterday I found out I had a fourteen year old and then it’s been a whole process of finding out that since she’s mine I have custody technically.”

“So you took her away from all she knows?” Natasha's voice comes softly from the couch. 

“I guess you could say that.”

“Did you give her a choice?” Natasha asks, harsher this time. In her eyes anyone could see the remainders of another girl that was taken from all she ever knew and replaced with a hard boiled assassin.

“In the eyes of the state she doesn’t really have a choice.”

“So you didn’t give her a choice.”

“She’s got a medical condition that was costing her family thousands a month on top of her grandparents’ conditions. I’m helping!” Tony’s voice raises for the first time this afternoon since he tried to stay calm around his kid.

“You think you’re helping, but you’re taking her from the only life she’s ever known and I’m betting you gave her no choice in this. All you might get out of this is four years with her and then she disappears from your life.” Clint says softly, not trying to upset Tony, but also hearing the points that Natasha was bringing up. 

“You’re going to have to work hard to make this worth it to Y/N, Tony.” Steve says before picking up his book.

[terrainofheartfelt]

"It's you, it couldn't be awful"

A Playlist For Dair Appreciation Week, Day 7 - Fave Quotes & Lyrics

I haven’t the faintest idea how to make gifs (seriously I think all of you are witches) so I made this playlist, because there is nothing I love more than scrolling through my spotify library and just projecting all over it.

Track listings and links with opinions & lyrics under the cut, because this thing is long, because I have no restraint.

(Note: I intentionally left off all tswift bc if I didn’t, we’d be here all day)

Section 1: The Bops

Little of Your Love - HAIM

A bop that embodies the energy of the 4b arc, and an energy of “Oh for crying out loud, Humphrey”

You’re just another recovering heart / I wasn’t even gonna try / you wouldn’t even give the time

Stop runnin’ your mouth like that / ‘cause you know I’m gonna give it right back

Hate That You Know Me - Bleachers

It’s “You owe me ten / You owe me twenty!” & “I was hoping it would go away / I was humiliated” & basically all of While You Weren’t Sleeping, tbh

Some days I, I wish that I wasn't myself / No luck! / And I hate that you know me so well

I Like Me Better - Lauv

Heavily featured in all y’all’s gifsets—and rightfully so!!! It’s also like the perfect counter to the previous song.

To not know who I am but still know that I'm good long as you're here with me

Sweet Talk - Saint Motel

It’s about Blair roasting Dan for filth and him being completely charmed by it.

when you laugh / I forget that it's about me / But it's alright / Yeah, cause being your punchline / Still is something

No Reason to Run - Cold War Kids

In the perfect version of the show that lives in my head, this is the end credits song that plays as the two of them frolic in Rome.

I have evolved like a fish growing legs / Woke like a lightbulb clicked in my brain

You Make Lovin' Fun - Fleetwood Mac

The song for the couple that fucked in an elevator. Bless the work.

Sweet wonderful you / You make me happy with the things you do

No Matter What You Do - covered by Jakob Dylan and Regina Spektor

The energy is “I have a lot of affection for you but you are so annoying.” And this is the obligatory post-breakup s6 song.

No matter what in the world you do / Hey, I'll always be in love with you

Don't Take the Money - Bleachers

I see so much love for tswift on this website (valid) but I feel like the world as a whole sleeps on her collaborator Jack Antonoff bc he is brilliant and his act Bleachers has some of my favorite songs ever. Like this one. Antonoff has said before that the title phrase is more metaphorical than literal, like an idiom that means don’t take the easy way and give this up, because it’s genuine. Real “I want to have a sleepover with you” vibes.

Somebody broke me once / Love was a currency / A shimmering balance act / I think that I laughed at that

In the Morning - Nina Simone

It’s about the domesticity! And the “Our relationship is our world”! And the “we’re young and still have so much life to live so everything’s gonna be okay.” did i title a smut fic with lyrics from this song maybeso.gif

Please be patient with your life / It's only morning and you're still to live your day

This Must Be the Place - Talking Heads

This is a canon dair song bc @mysteriesofloves titled a fic after this song, them’s the rules. But for real, this is such a good one. The lyrics are intentionally scattered, a little bewildered, like “how did we get here? how did this happen? who found whom?” and finally “who cares? we found a home in each other.”

The less we say about it, the better / We'll make it up as we go along

Cleopatra in Brooklyn - Frank Turner

Chosen for the title obviously, but the lyrics capture the royal/5b arc pretty well, I think. The narrator carries this tongue-and-cheek comparison of the woman he’s singing to to Cleopatra through the whole song, comparing himself to Marc Antony, and ending with this really earnest kind of declaration. I’m obsessed with this songwriter he’s a genius please give him a listen.

These people are adjectives to your proper noun

I'll come find you when your fortunes fail you / I'll die with you when the gods desert you

Morphing into Section 2: Pure Vibes

Walking on a Dream - covered by Andrew McMahon in the Wilderness

The original is by Empire of the Sun (and omigod I just realized the coincidence), but I first heard it covered by McMahon, and he’s one of my favorite musicians of ever so I just love his rendition. And this song is sort of like...about finally deciding that the reality of love with someone is so much better than the idea of it.

Thought I’d never see / The love you found in me / Now it’s changing all the time

Wake Me - Bleachers

Jack coming for my life yet again. This song is so romantic but also so melancholy? Which is such a Daniel Humphrey Vibe.

And I'd rather be sad with you / Than anywhere away from you

All I Want - Joni Mitchell

I’m a white girl with a mother who grew up in the 60s, so I love Joni. And this song is so bubbly and joyful, but it’s also about a relationship between two imperfect people and wanting it to work anyway. Big “Despicable B” vibes!

All I really want our love to do / Is to bring out the best in me / And in you, too.

Dust to Dust - The Civil Wars

A friend in undergrad got me into the Civil Wars by showing me their live videos, and they have such incredible musical chemistry - like, the synchronicity of their ensemble is so good that it even comes through on their studio recordings and it makes these simple lyrics hit SO HARD.

You're just lonely / You've been lonely too long

NFWMB - Hozier

Ok, this had to be like the first ask I ever sent @bisexualdanhumphrey bc they wrote this fantastic meta post about Hozier and Derena but I said: “consider: NFWMB is a Dair song.” And they said, “You right.” I stand by it, and that’s why this song is on this list.

If I was born as a blackthorn tree / I'd wanna be felled by you / Held by you / Fuel the pyre of your enemies

Friday I'm in Love - covered by Phoebe Bridgers

This song - especially this cover - gives such Secret Friendship Arc vibes a la the end of 4x16...the inherent romance of eating pizza and falling asleep on the couch together

Always take a big bite / It’s such a gorgeous sight / To see you eat in the middle of the night

A Case of You - Joni Mitchell

Queen Joni again. Like! I am a lonely painter / I live in a box of paints. & The “You’re the star of Dan’s book” of it all in these lyrics!

I remember that time you told me / You said “Love is touching souls” / Surely you touched mine / ‘cause part of you pours out of me / In these lines from time to time.

Longing to Belong - Eddie Vedder

This is my thinly veiled attempt to tell more people about this: a song written and performed by Pearl Jam’s Eddie Vedder on ukulele, that is actually the softest love song in the history of western music.

All my time is spent here / Longing to belong to you

Bones - Josh Record

Okay, so, that Moment on the Couch at the end of 5x02? That’s this song.

And darling, when your feet are cold / Wait up, I'm coming home / And all of you I will hold / My love will clothe your bones

Cinnamon Girl - Lana Del Rey

The song for when you reach the end of plausible deniability - One all consuming paralyzing thought & You need to go back to Brooklyn - and it scares the heck out of you.

There's things I wanna say to you, but I'll just let you live / Like if you hold me without hurting me / You'll be the first who ever did

You and Me - You + Me

You can be flawed enough but perfect for a person

Section 3: Songs for Dancing in the Kitchen with Your Lover at 1 am

Cigarettes and Coffee - Otis Redding

The “Dan and I have a real connection song.” It’s about the romance of commonplace things when they’re with the right person.

But it seemed so natural, darling / That you and I are here

I'd Be Waiting - Nathaniel Rateliff and the Night Sweats

It’s “I just want to spend the day with you” but in like, slow-dance, sexy harmonies format.

If you ever get lonely if you never did

Never My Love - covered by Jakob Dylan and Norah Jones

The “Words of Affirmation” love song they deserve, and an underrated love song from Laurel Canyon, imho

What makes you think love will end? / When you know that my whole life depends / On you

Dancing in the Dark - covered by Morgan James

Okay so these lyrics are such Dan lyrics to me, it’s charmingly self-aware and self-deprecating. And this cover by Morgan James turns this staple rock song into something ~sexy~

I'm dying for some action / I'm sick of sittin' round here trying to write this book / I need a love reaction / Come on, gimme just one look

Oh Me Oh My (I'm a Fool for You) - Aretha Franklin

They’re literally always making each other laugh! It’s about feeling safe enough to be uninhibited and unselfconscious in your joy.

To make you laugh / I would be a fool for you

I Fall in Love Too Easily - as done by Chet Baker

No one, but no one sounds as sweet or as smooth as Chet. I know it, you know it, Hozier knows it. And this song and it’s titular thesis is so Them, it’s such a central part of their respective characters, and one of the things that makes them compatible.

My heart should be well schooled / 'Cause I've been fooled in the past

For Me Formidable - Charles Aznavour

Due entirely to this fic (Part II of a god tier s4 au) This is the end credits song for their full feature length Nora Ephron romcom.

NSFW Honorable Mention: Dinner & Diatribes - Hozier

it’s the definitive “men get pegged” representation, iykyk

[impala1967dwinchester]

Sam Winchester: Poetry, my love

*credit to the gif owner* 

Pairing: Sam x Y/n/ Reader 

Pov: Sam

Warnings: Sweet moments, Sam writing, Sam falling in love with the reader, Mention of Sams past relationship (With Jessica), Internal monologue, (Quick mention of Dean), Love confession. 

Summary: Sam tries to write poems. All of which end up being about or for Y/n, and all of them are about just how much Sam truly loves her. 

A/N- All of these poems are from Pinterest! 

Word Count: 1.9k 

Masterlist

Taglist: @sweetdetectivequeen​ 

I remember when I was in middle and high school, how much I thrived in English class. I love to read, but because I’ve read so much in my life. I’ve found out recently that I absolutely love to write.  

I love to write little blurb of what a hunt was like, and I’ve taken up journaling. Some people might say that writing things out can make them come alive, but I I personally think that once it out on paper, then it kind of cleans the mind. Declutter my head if you will.  

Going through my phone my eyes landed on Pinterest. It wasn’t an app I used very often, but I clicked on it anyway. Going through the process of making an account it asked me what I liked and my interest. I assumed based off what I choose the app would give me different things to look at in my feed.  

That is exactly what happened. A few motivational words popped up, and I scrolled through, then a few quotes popped up. But what really caught my attention was the search bar. I wanted to see what other people thought about writing so that’s what I put in the search bar.

I scrolled for a few minutes, and then the word ‘Poems’ popped up. After the years that I’d been writing not once had I tired doing poetry, so I clicked on it. The first poem that was in the stream said the following;  

The most  

beautiful part is,  

I wasn’t even looking  

when I found you.  

Man, that was so calming and peaceful. A true statement. It made me think of Y/n. The way she just was placed into our life, I hadn’t been looking. I stopped looking when after Jessica died.  

I stopped thinking that i deserved to find love. I stopped believing I was worth it. But that was all before Y/n came into my life. She was sweetest person you’ll ever met. She always wears a smile regardless of how bad a situation could get.  

She is nerdy like me, she loved to read through the lore books, making it an effort to help me when I couldn’t quite figure something out on my own. The thing about Y/n is she wasn’t just like me, she disappears for hours, in the kitchen cooking with Dean, or making pie for him. She is the best thing to come into our lives since forever.  

Again, I started to read through posts on Pinterest. I wondered how many of these posts were meant to be about the girl of someone dreams. I scrolled through seeing a ton of different poems. Some were sad, about how breakable a women’s heart really is. Some on the other hand were about falling in love with the girl of your dreams.  

Another poem said;  

If you look carefully,  

She’s slowly falling in love with you,  

But she doesn’t want you to find out,  

Well, not yet.”

This makes me think even more about Y/n. Does she love me? Is she falling in love with me and doesn’t want me to find out? Is she falling in love with me, like I am with her? I have so many questions that I couldn’t possibly ask her.  

I wonder if she sits in bed like I do and fantasize over her. I sound creepy, but I honestly want to know. I pay attention to her, and her actions. When she’s with Dean she isn’t touchy. When we’re on a hunt, she chooses to sleep in bed with me. She talks about everything with me. Let’s me in, let’s me comfort her.  

Is this her way of saying I want to be with you Sam? I once again start to scroll through the feed, looking and reading through all the poems. Coming across another one, this one though made me stop and think. Made me realize a few things more about Y/n.  

“Find Someone who makes you realize three things: One, that home is not a place, but a feeling. Two, that time is not measured by a clock, but by moments. And three, that heartbeats are not heard, but felt and shared.”  

I realized all of those things when I thought of Y/n. When I was with Y/n no matter where we were I felt at home with her. We could be hundreds of miles away from the bunker, deep in a hunt. As long as she was there, I was happy, content, and at peace.  

Number two took me a few times to really figure out. The first time I noticed it was our first Christmas with Y/n. She’d been with us for a whole year, and I couldn’t help but go out and get her something. I went to our local book store, and picked up 3 historical novels, based on what she’d read and what she had with her when she arrived at the bunker. When she opened her gifts, I couldn’t start to describe her smile. And then she dropped her books and run up to me, and crushed in her slender frame. This hug was different than others, the other hugs were ones that were in fear of losing each other, ones that were meant as apologies.  

The second time I noticed it was Dean’s birthday. Y/n and I had gone out shopping for Dean first separate and then together. We wanted to get him a gift that suited him. We walked around the mall, both searching for the best store to choose from. “Oh Sammy... oops sorry I meant Sam. Look over there.” She spoke.  

Moments like this where she was afraid to be like this way with me. “You can call me Sammy, Y/n. It doesn’t bother me when you do it.” I said involuntarily. I little blush rose to her cheeks, “Okay Sammy. There’s a store looks like a cowboy themed place.” She said walking towards the store.  

Rarely would I do something out of my comfort zone, and not ask the other person. But before Y/n could get too far away from me, I grabbed her wrist and slipped our hands together. I made a quick excuse when she turned around and looked down at our hands and then me. “I just don’t want to get lost from you; this place does seem pretty huge.” I had said.  

In moments when we were hurt in hunts. Moments where it seemed like we might say goodbye forever. I had Y/n in my arms in the back seat of the impala, she had a huge gash through her back, thankfully nothing had hit any vital organs or hit her spinal cord.  

She sat in my lap her hands wrapped around my neck, our hearts pressed tightly together, I was grasping tightly to her. Trying to keep myself tethered to her. I focused on her breathing. Focused on the scent of the peach shampoo that still lingered in her hair.  

I would see Dean looking in the back through the mirror. I didn’t have time to deal with his comments so i dropped my gaze, I was trying so hard to not break down, in front of my big brother or Y/n. Y/n needs a strong man, so that’s what I’ll be right now, just for her.  

As  i thought about past moments. I realized that I couldn’t keep the charade up anymore, about I felt towards Y/n. Making myself close out of the very calming app, I clicked on to the massaging app.  

Sliding the small list of contacts, I did I have. I sent Dean an “goodnight” message before slipping out of our conversation and into Y/n and I conversation. I started to type and then deleted it.  

I fell into this rhyme for a what seemed like an hour, of me saying how I felt and then deleting it. I received a “Good night bitch 😴” Message from Dean. I slide it off my screen refocusing on my message to Y/n.  

Then all the sudden it clicked in my head. And I started typing my message out. Careful to phrase words the particular way.  

“In you, I have finally found all I never dared dream I could deserve or have- the kind of love that is rare. Being known in a way that touches the deepest parts of me. Accepted in a way that blows my mind.”  

I sent this part to her. I waited till she has read the massage. Then only a few moments later I saw a message from her pop up.  

“Sammy what are you saying?” Y/n asked. So, I started to write the second part of my message.

“In you, Y/n the love I have always desired to give now has a place to call home, I hope? I have been skeptic, but you are my undeniable miracle. The questions don’t matter anymore.” I sent once again waiting for another message back from Y/n.  

What I got surprised me. “Come to my room, Sammy.” She sent. I quickly uncovered myself from the thin blanket, and slipped on a Henley, along with my slippers.  

I opened my door, and pretty much ran down the hall way, my phone still tightly placed in my hand. I slowed down as I made my way in front of Y/n’s door. I knocked and was granted access.  

“Come in Sammy.” She said in her cute voice. I walked in, and shut the door softly. Before turning on my heels and standing still. “You can come over here and sit down with me Sammy.” So, I did as she said.  

I walked over and sat down next to her. “So, Sammy, what did you mean by your message?” She asked grabbing my much larger hand with her much smaller hand.  

I hadn’t ever noticed that, but instead of answering Y/n question I found our hands more interesting. “Sammy?” She said once again, but her voice was softer and quiet.  

“I hope to god I’m not stepping over a boundary, but what I was trying to say was that I think... Wait No I know that I’ve fallen for you more deeply than I think I can understand. And I hope that you feel the same way?” I said rubbing my calloused thumb over the knuckles on her left hands.  

“Sammy, I think I’ve fallen in love with you too.” Y/n said. Smiling showing off her bright eyes, and dimples on her cheeks.  

“We have finally found each other, and that is enough. Right?” I said still a little worried I might say something wrong and ruin that whole moment.  

“Yeah Sammy, I hop... I know that it’s enough, because when I’m with you I fell at peace and I wouldn’t want anything else then that.” She spoke. I brought my hand up to her cheek cupping it in my hand, and brought her close to my chest.  

I kissed her lips, and god if it wasn’t the most intoxicating thing, I’ve ever tasted. I would be lying, she tasted like dark chocolate, and honey. Our lips didn’t fight for dominance, it was just a sweet kiss. Something that made this moment just so much more real.  

“God, I love you so much Winchester.” Y/n said against my lips. I only smiled and whispered into her lips “I love you too, Y/L/N”  “And don’t worry I’ll keep Dean from teasing the both of us.” I spoke. 

Completed on : 03/14/2021 

[kaitycole]

“Pop!”

Summary: Hanamaki had an annoying tendency to pop his gum, did it end well for him?

Pairing: Hanamaki x Reader

Word Count: 944

Warnings: Angst. Mention of murder, gun use, blood, and anger.

A/N: The beliefs and actions of the characters in this series do not reflect those of the writer. 

Tags: @infamous-kenzie-official  @ilovesupersoldiers @bubblnymph @hai-q-haikyuu @hidden-otaku-stuff  @boosyboo9206 @karasu-hoes @super-noya @kamiboeikan @chunhua-s @shibayamasbae @crescentsteel @bokuakadaily @nak-pap

General Tags: @newfriendjen @scrappyfka​

“L/N. You have a visitor. Let’s go.” You look at the guard before excusing yourself from the small group of inmates you’ve befriended. Letting out a sigh, you tilt your head to each side, giving it a light stretch before following the guard.

You still feel uneasy about being interviewed, you know how easy it is for words to get mixed up or just wrongly quoted. But the others in your group, the other five of the Scorned Lovers decided to speak, so you couldn’t be the odd ball out.

Scorned Lovers. You scoff internally at that term; the media really took leeway with that. The six of you didn’t know each other before now, the six of you didn’t have some pact to murder anyone, but it stuck.

The metal door to the visitor’s room being opened brings you from your thoughts. You look up and see a small brunette woman sitting all the way at the end. Walking towards her, you can tell she’s tense; you couldn’t blame her. When you first arrived here, you were a mess: scared, uneasy, and spent a lot of time alone, at least until you met the other Scorned Lovers.

“I’m Alex Hunt. Thank you for agreeing to speak with me.” She smiles at you, but you hear the tremble of her voice.

“F/N L/N. Please just call me F/N.” You smirk.

“Okay, F/N. Can you tell me about that day? Did anything out of the ordinary happen?”

You tilt your head to the side, looking at Alex as she grabs her pen to start taking notes.

“It was just one of those days where everything that could go wrong, did go wrong.”

Alex shakes her head and you know exactly what she’s thinking: what could’ve gone so wrong that day that you shot your boyfriend? But like everyone else who thought that, they weren’t there, you were.

“Care to start from the beginning?”

“Yeah, sure.” You let out a deep breath before letting your mind go back to that afternoon.

*                      *

Nothing seemed to go right for you today at all. Your phone didn’t charge while you slept so your alarm didn’t go off and you were almost an hour late for work. Your least favorite coworker used the last of your coffee creamer. And to top it off, you stepped in gum. Yeah, today was a shit day and you couldn’t wait to get home to your boyfriend.

“You would not believe the day I’ve had Makki!” You whined as you slid off your shoes before walking across the plush carpet. Your boyfriend was lounging on the couch, phone in one hand with a beer on the other. He was currently in between jobs so it wasn’t unusual for you to find him expressionless as he scrolled through whatever app he was on.

Pop!

“I mean it was like all my bad karma came back for me all at once!” You continued as you walked into the kitchen, hoping to get a bottle of your favorite juice. There were none, today was clearly the gift that kept giving.

Pop!

You opted to grab a bottle of water before sitting down next to Hanamaki. You leaned your head on his shoulder, hoping he’d comfort you in some way.

Pop!

He doesn’t. Instead, the bored looking man continued to scroll mindlessly through his phone, ignoring your pleas. The quiet room was filled with the loud pops of his chewing gum.

“Makki, are you even listening to me?

Pop!

Another pop filled your ears as the anger in you rose. Your day had been miserable and you didn’t think asking your boyfriend to be a shoulder to cry on was asking too much. Especially since he sat at home all day and on the off chance he did leave, it wasn’t for an interview but to goof off with Matsukawa.

Pop!

*                      *

Alex makes a face and you can almost predict what she’s going to say. “So, he was chewing gum and ignoring you?”

You let out a humorless laugh. “He wasn’t chewing, he was popping. And it was a crisp and sharp pop that echoed in my ears on repeat. Surely you can see the problem with that?”

She shakes her head, “I’d get annoyed sure, but I can’t see how that warrants murder.”

“Like I said earlier, it was just one of those days where everything went wrong.”

*                      *

Pop!

Pop!

Pop!

Pop!

You wanted to scream, the echoing noise getting louder and louder in your head. The mixture of the annoying sounds and the blatant uninterested attitude from your boyfriend slowly starts to chip away at your rational thought; at your sanity.

Pop! Pop! Pop!

Pop!

Maybe your body was moving on its own, maybe somewhere in your subconscious you knew what you were doing, but before you can put two and two together, you’re holding a shotgun in your hands.

It’s heavier than you thought, you suddenly couldn’t remember if you’ve ever held it before, but you’ve seen in movies people press it up against their shoulder so you mimicked the movement.

You know you’ve never shot it before, you had no reason to. Your heart was beating surprisingly normal, a calmness washed over you.

Two thunderous cracks filled the air as you fired your warning shots, separated only by the chuchak as you pumped the shotgun; reloading it.

Your ears rang, but it was more than welcomed because the popping of gum stopped.

*                      *

“Warning shots?” The journalist scoffs. “Those typically land near the person, not in their head.”

You shrugged, “I never suggested I had good aim.”

he had it coming - master list

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

kiss me in the d-a-r-k .5.

wednesday

part 1 part 2 part 3 part 4

Warnings: non/dub con sex (more oral)

This is dark!(dad)Steve and explicit. 18+ only.

Summary: The girls go to the beach but our reader cannot escape Steve for long.

Note: Second last part y’all. Steve gets a bit darker in this as both he and the reader grow more desperate. I hope you all enjoy this and I know you can’t wait for quote-on-quote grande finale. ;)

That being said, I really hope you enjoy. 💋

<3 Let me know what you think!

...

You awoke in as much confusion as you'd drifted off in. Images of Steve floated in your dreams and the same tingle burned at your core. You tossed and turned until the sun forced you up. You heard the sound of a car engine and rubbed your eyes as you sat up. You stood and peered through the window. 

Kylie's Mercedes rolled to the end of the drive and you frowned. Where was she off too? Or maybe, hopefully, Steve had borrowed her car. You shrugged and shook the sleep from your head. You needed to shower. You should have the night before but you were overcome in your bliss. You felt dirty now. The sweat and cum stiff along the edges of your panties.

You dragged your feet into the bathroom and cranked on the shower. You undressed with a series of groans and stepped under the stream. The steam rose around you and eased your muscles, stiff from a night of overthinking and all-too-vivid dreams. You closed your eyes and let the water wash over you. It was almost cleansing.

You jumped when the shower door slid open and you pushed yourself against the tile with a yelp. You tried to shield yourself with your hands but it did little to hide your figure. Steve's eyes roved every inch and he smirked. 

"I was knocking," He said. He didn't look at your face. "Kylie just went to grab some milk."

"What are…" Your voice died as he licked his lips. "Get out!"

"I won't touch," His voice was dusky, "Can I...watch?"

Your lips trembled and you gave a long exhale. "You should go. She'll come back."

"We have twenty minutes, at least," He raised a brow and backed up. He sat on the toilet and his eyes clung to your figure. "Better get cleaned up fast."

"Steve," You hissed and reached for the faucet. 

He tilted his head tutted. He reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone. "Wait, I have something for you to watch first." He unlocked his phone and scrolled. "Can't have a house this big without security." 

He held up his screen and you squinted. It was you, stripping down to get in the hot tub. The footage played through and soon his lips were on yours. Without dialogue, it looked different. Almost as if you had tempted him.

"It would be a shame for Kylie to cut your visit short but she can be rather melodramatic," He lowered his phone away and shrugged. "Now, go on."

You shivered and turned back to the shower head. You tried to ignore his presence as you reached for your soap and loufa. He wasn't there. Just hurry up and wash. But you could feel his stare. Hear his subtle breaths. 

You scrubbed your hairand peeked over at him as you turned to rinse the soap. He held up his phone and you covered yourself once more. "What the fuck?"

"Ah come on, just a little something to remember you by," He smirked. "I'll miss you when you go. What is it, two days left?"

You shook your head in disgust and turned to quickly rid your hair of the lather. You grabbed the towel and wrapped it around your body. You stepped out and pushed aside his phone. "There. Now get out."

He stood and made sure to brush his front against you. Again his arousal was obvious. "Kylie should be back with that milk soon," He said, "Should I make some coffee?" 

You didn’t answer. You just watched him leave, sure you were still dreaming. You looked around as if the world would dissolve around you but it was all too real.

-

You dressed carefully. You took your time. You dreaded another run in with Steve. It had already gone way too far. That night in the gym...you should’ve never followed him to the hot tub. That had been your first mistake. That had been his invitation and now there was no rescinding it. Yet, you were a guest in his home but he was the one intruding on you.

You listened closely as you descended the stairs. You didn’t hear anything, not until you were halfway to the kitchen door. You paused and thought of running up the stairs. You could hide until Kylie returned. She was your only shield from him.

Yet you couldn’t be sure that your avoidance would not instigate him. One wrong move and he would bring up the video on his phone. Or, one of them. You cringed as you recalled his cell phone held up, its lens recording your every move.

I'll show you even more. His promise bounced around your head. Maybe it was best to leave early, but what would you tell Kylie? Maybe she wouldn’t care so much...but he would. And he’d still have those videos. You couldn’t face your sophomore year without your bestie.

Two more days. That was all. Bide your time and you'd be on your way home. 

You jumped as Steve appeared in the kitchen door. It was too late to turn back now. He smiled and tucked his phone away. You couldn't help but stare at the red case as it disappeared in his pocket. What had he been doing? Or rather, looking at?

"You take cream in your coffee?" He turned his body as he leaned against the door frame and waved you inside. "Unless you wanna wait til Kylie returns."

"I'll just take it black," You said and hesitantly stepped into the kitchen. 

He followed closely and you could feel his gaze on your ass. His fingers confirmed it as they squeezed. A gentle pinch as your paths diverged around the island. You flinched and retreated.

"Do you really think Kylie would believe you?" You asked as you watched him pull out a dainty pink mug. 

"Do you think she'd believe you?" He returned as he poured the coffee. He turned and neared the other side of the counter. "I mean...you're not that innocent."

You stared at him as he slid the mug across to you. You took it and frowned. "Why--"

"Because I want you," He didn't wait for the questions. He gripped the edge of the island and wiggled his hips. You could imagine his erection hidden by the marble top. "I've never had a virgin. As old as I am."

"So it's all just a middle-aged crisis? A check off your bucket list?" You asked.

"More than that," He smirked. "It's that little flowered swimsuit. The bikini was cute but…" He inhaled. "How another man hasn't already had a go is beyond me."

You sipped your coffee. You didn't know what to say. You were embarrassed. Nervous. Afraid.

"You didn't act like you hated," He slowly rounded the island. "In fact, I'd say you needed it. You need me." You set down the cup and took a step back for each of his. "You need someone to teach you. To show you how fucking sexy you are."

You gulped and nearly tripped over your own feet. He lunged forward and kept you from falling. He pulled you close and pressed himself to you. He rocked his hips so you felt his desire.

"I want to fuck you on this counter," He ran his hand over the island as his other gripped your arm. "But...there's still a few things I need to teach you first."

"Steve, I--" The front door opened and suddenly you were free. Steve was quick to move away. You held onto the counter as you tried to clear your head.

The door closed and Kylie's footsteps preceded her. Steve opened the fridge and searched inside. "Finally," He said coolly, "Was starting to think you got lost."

"They were out of soy milk," She replied and she planted the carton on the counter, "Had to go to the other store."

"Well, thank you," He turned to set a handful of fruit on the counter. "Coffee's ready."

"Awesome," She skirted around you and opened the cupboard. "All the better because we've got a lot to do." 

You turned to her with a curious hmm.

"We're going to the beach!" She sang as she poured her coffee. "Jenny and Dani will be here soon." She paused and turned to Steve as he loaded the blender, "Daddy…"

He sighed. He looked at her knowingly. "What do you want?"

"Can we borrow the rover?" She folded her hands together in a plea. 

"Well…" He looked over her shoulder at you, "It might be worth it for a day to myself." He placed the lid on the blender. "Fine. But leave the Mercedes keys...just in case."

"Thank you!" She grabbed her coffee and added a drop of milk. 

"Any scratches and your paying for the buff," He warned and hit the button. The kitchen filled with the same violent buzz that had taken over your mind.

-

It was a relief to be out of the house but the inevitability of your return loomed in the back of your mind. The sun was dulled by the shadow of dread across your vision. The sand was hot beneath your beach towel and the sound of waves lulled your mind. Even so, you couldn't help but think of Steve. The look in his eyes when he had said ‘I want you.’

It wasn't a general statement. He wanted you. Not just a virgin, the innocent friend of his daughter. The trope found in the pages of your sister's favourite novellas. He was set on you and he would find a way to have you.

"...right?" Kylie elbowed you and shook you from the trance beneath your round sunglasses. You looked to her and set down the book you weren't really reading. "Hey, I was talking to you."

"Sorry, I was...reading," You lied and sat up. "What's up?"

"I was just saying that next year I gotta get you laid," She trilled, "Loosen you up a bit."

You swallowed and crossed your arms over your knees. "I can handle myself." You assured her.

"Oh yeah? What's it gonna be? Another twenty years?"

"Shut up," Jenny tossed sand at Kylie, "Give her a break. We didn't all pop our cherries at fourteen just to spite our dads."

"You would if you had my dad," Kylie scowled, "It wasn't just him. It was...everything."

"Like mother, like daughter," Danielle muttered.

"Shut the fuck up, Dani," She grabbed her own handful of sand and threw it at her mouthy friend.

"Hey, hey," You touched Kylie's arm. You rarely saw her so angry. It had happened so fast you were almost frightened. "I'll give you one night, okay? I'll go to one of your parties. That's all."

"Face it," She fell back on her towel, "You wanna get some. That little nun act must get real boring."

"You know what, I kinda like the convent lifestyle," You kidded and reclined. You rolled onto your stomach and stretched. "It's quiet."

You hid your face as you leaned your forehead on your bent arms. Her laughter filled your ears and you tried not to think of Steve. Of what he wanted. Of what he would do. You had heard that it hurt, but you weren't so worried about the pain.

-

Kylie had a burn along her nose and cheeks and Dani had drained her secret flask of vodka. Her and Jenny argued for fifteen minutes about the lack of sharing. They finally quit as you piled into the car. You drove on the way back. The other three girls were sleepy from the day in the sun. You were too but sleep wasn't high on your list of priorities.

Once you reached the main strip, Kylie roused herself enough to give you directions. Jenny's house was the first stop, Danielle’s the second. The same suburban castles as their friend. The whole town was the pillar of white collar America.

You idled at the corner just before Kylie's house. She didn't notice as your fingers tapped the steering wheel and you stared at the familiar gate just down the lane. You hit the gas and pulled onto the long drive. Kylie yawned and opened her eyes as she sat up.

"Jeez, I'm exhausted," She said as you killed the engine. "Would you be mad if I zonked out now?"

"It's barely nine," You chided. You tried to sound like you were kidding but you really didn't want to be left alone. Not here.

"I'm sorry. I--" She yawned again. "I should have put my umbrella up sooner."

"And I'm the square," You joked as you followed her to the trunk and helped unload the cooler. You hooked your bag over your shoulder and lifted it between you.

"Now you know how it feels," She chuckled. "I'll get up early tomorrow, okay?"

"Fine," You grumbled as you followed her to the kitchen. You set the cooler down by the counter.

"I'll take care of that in the morning," She shrugged and dragged her feet back out the door. 

You were a step behind her as she climbed the stairs. Your skin was on fire as you listened for any sign of life. Flinched at every shadow. Steve was here somewhere. She patted your shoulder as she grumbled a good night and you parted to your respective rooms; impossibly far from one another.

You looked back as the door closed behind her and you sighed. You grabbed your handle and turned. It didn't budge. You jiggled it and tried again. You shook the door and cursed under your breath. Another trap.

The realization wasn't soon enough. You hadn't heard his door, you only felt the weight of his gaze. You turned to Steve as he leaned on his elbow against the doorframe and smirked.

"Need help?"

"No," You grabbed the door handle and pushed down with all your force. It didn't move. "I can…"

"It does that," He pushed himself from the wooden frame and neared. "You just need to know the trick." His hand closed over yours before you let go of the handle. He wiggled it and suddenly it released. "It jams every now and then."

He didn't release you. His breath washed over your head and you looked up at him meekly. "Kylie--"

"Was barely awake when she stumbled through her door," He said, "And if she wakes, you think she's going to come knocking on your door...or mine."

"Please, just...haven't you done enough?" You asked.

"Have I?" His other hand grazed your thigh. "It's one thing to be touched by a man but another to touch a man…"

He drew your hand away from the handle. He walked backwards as he tugged you with him. You tried to yank your hand free but his grip was strong; his hand almost twice the size of yours. 

"With these," He took your other hand and rubbed the back with his thumb, "You can drive a man crazy."

"Steve…" You pulled and he did the same; so hard that you collided with him, your arms caught between your bodies.

"Shhh," He led you through his doorway, "I know you're a smart girl...such a quick learner."

"I…" Your voice quivered as he spun with you in his arms and released you. The door shut with a click as you kept yourself from tripping. You looked up as he turned the lock. He grabbed the bag from your shoulder and plopped it behind him.

"You don't have to be afraid," He cooed as he neared, "I want it to be special for you...but tonight isn't the night."

"What are you--" He turned you by your shoulders and you looked around the room. His large bed was awash in scarlet light, thin scarves slung over the lamps.

"Tell me, have you ever touched a man before?" He took your hand and urged you forward. "Have you even seen…"

"N-no," He jolted you forward as you tried to resist. "I...no, please."

"We can take it slow. We have taken it slow, haven't we?" He brought you to the end of the bed. Again he turned you and pushed on your shoulders until you sat. "I've been gentle, haven't I?"

You lowered your head. He had been. You couldn't deny that; couldn't deny the feelings he had inspired in you. You couldn’t ignore the heat that was once again licking at your flesh.

"Sweetie," He purred as he cupped your face in his hands, "It's okay to enjoy yourself. Sex is not a sin. The human body...is beautiful." He brushed his thumb over your cheekbone, "Your body is beautiful."

You lowered your lashes shyly and he bent to kiss you. His lips met yours hungrily and his hands drifted down your neck and along your chest. He felt your tits through your tee and bathing suit beneath. Your nipples hard against his palms.

"Just relax," He whispered as he pulled away. He stood and ran a hand along the front of his jeans. "Take off your shirt, sweetie."

His eyes were intent on you. You pouted but your voice was but a wisp in your chest. You reached down and slowly pulled up the hem of your tee. His pupils grew as you stripped yourself of the pale yellow cotton to reveal the same floral bathing suit you'd worn on your first day there.

"Mmm, I like that one," You glanced down. You could see your nipples poking through the fabric. The pale pink patterns did nothing to hide your own arousal. "And your shorts."

"I…" You breathed and he pressed a single finger to your lips. He dropped his hand as you stood. You rolled your shorts down and he rubbed the crotch of his jeans. "Sit."

You obeyed a little too quick. You bounced from the force of your descent and he chuckled. He grabbed his belt buckle and swiftly undid it. You bit down as he unhooked the button of his fly and looked at you as he slid down the zipper.

He shoved his pants down just to his thighs. He tucked his fingers in the elastic of his brief. He pulled them down his pelvis and carefully past his erection. You gasped as he revealed his thick cock and your heart beat wildly. He rolled his briefs down to the top of his jeans.

He grabbed the base of his cock. "It's not so bad, is it?" He said, "You like it, don't you?" He stroked himself and shuddered. "Just like that."

He let go and inched forward. He reached down and took your hand from beside your leg. He wrapped your fingers around his cock and closed his hands over them. He led your grip up and down his length. The skin was smooth and the veins pulsed against your palm.

"Mmmm," He repeated the motion, "Yeah." You bit your lip and he released you after the third stroke. "Keep going, sweetie." You did it again and again and he leaned into your touch, his hands on his hips. "Ah, baby, you're a natural." He let his head fall back and ran his fingers through his golden hair. 

"Firmer," You tightened your grip, your eyes on your hand. "Faster. Yeah...oh god." His breath picked up as you continued. You could feel the wetness along your bathing suit. "Okay."

He stopped your hand with his and gently pulled it away. He stepped even closer. "Now," He took his cock in his other hand. "Try it with your mouth."

"What?" You blinked at him. "I…"

"Take it slow, use your tongue first," He coaxed as he spread his hand over the side of your head. "It's a lot, don't take it all at once."

You gaped at him and he urged you to the edge of the bed. He came closer still and pressed the head of his cock to your lips. You flicked your tongue out across his tip and he sighed. 

"More," He rasped. 

You licked him shyly, a swirl around the head of his cock. He exhaled sharply and you dragged your tongue down his length as you leaned forward. You went back to his tip and repeated the motion. He tasted salty.

"Just like that, baby. Make sure your ready for it," He cradled your head as you licked him up and down once more. "Use your hand."

You gripped him and started to stroke him as you used your tongue. His hand slid around the back of your head and he pushed himself to your lips. "A little at a time, sweetie."

You gulped and clamped your lips shut. You looked up at him as he pushed harder. 

"Open up that pretty little mouth," His voice was stern. "You can do it, sweetie."

You parted your lips and closed your eyes. He pushed his head inside and you stretched your mouth around him. You kept your hand on him and stopped as he prodded at your throat. He guided you back with his grasp on your head and shoved himself back in. You couldn't take all of him.

"Use your tongue," He directed, "Mmm, yeah, keep those lips tight. Yeah, like that." He hummed as he hit the back of your throat again. "Don't be afraid to get messy." 

You felt the spit spreading along his shaft and against your hand as you moved it in time with his mouth. You did you best to breathe past his girth.

"You're doing good, sweetie," He pet your head as he cooed, "Oh, yeah, so good."

He groaned and gripped the sides of your head as he moved you faster and faster. Your eyes rolled back as tears pricked and you gulped back the saliva pooling in your mouth.

"Can I cum on your tits, baby?" He grunted.

He pulled out suddenly. You could barely react as he grabbed the front of your bath suit and ripped it down. He stroked his cock as he wrapped his hand around the back of your neck and forced you close. He hissed as a warmth spurted onto your chest and between your tits. 

"Fuckkkk," The drawn out moan surrounded you and he slowed his hand as he let go of you. He leaned back on his heels and sighed. "Ah, that was so good, sweetie."

He flinched as he released his cock. He eased himself back into his briefs and carefully pulled up his jeans. He smirked down at you and you looked at the cum dripping down your tits.

"Even more beautiful than before, sweetie," He pulled the straps of your bathing suit up your arms and covered his cum. "Tomorrow," He bent and kissed your forehead, "We'll finish our little lessons."

-

tags to be added in reblog

[torivikachu]

I was just listening to Hamilton AGAIN - yeah I just put it on while working all the time - and it just hit me how really relatable Hamilton (or I mean, Lin-Manuel's interpretation of him) is. well, at least for me.

if you're wondering if this is worth your time it is NOT

anybody except me likes lists? I like lists. so let's make a list!

also let's see how many quotes can I fit into this post

whoa, I am excited about it.

1. the moment he meets Aaron Burr, he just sorta searches for something to bond over. like, hey dude I heard you went to Princeton? I wanna go there too, let's bond over it! by the way, I punched someone there lol I swear I am not stupid aand Burr, like um, no, thanks really, I better go, you seem violent, my parents wanted me to go there, okay, and Ham like WHOA YOU AN ORPHAN? WOW I AM TOO IT'S LIKE FATE OR SOMETHING LETS BOND and Aaron like wtf dude just shut up

and honestly that's just me, if I meet a person I like I will latch onto anything and I get sorta...fixated? so yeah, this dialogue is relatable as fuck

2. and Alex doesn't shut up, but then he goes all or am I talking too much?

bro, your anxiety shows.

3. and he keeps ranting all through the show, but his rants seem to charm everybody while I think mine just annoy and scare away? whatever, moving on, with Washington asking him why are you upset and he's replying IM NOT like a fucking teenager and it's probably a small thing but it's relatable as hell

4. and then once he is given permission he dives and buries himself into work, never does things halfway and is eager to take on more responsibilities and do something new and is just generally non-stop and while I can only wish for same energy as he, I like to have a lot of work aswell (well I sure as hell whine about it a lot but Hamilton does too! what's with I havent slept in a week I was weak I was awake you've never seen a bastard orphan more in need of a break)

5. he's flirty and has no qualms with innuendos. and very forward with his feelings? like you strike me like a woman who has never been satisfied sounds like a pickup line that either gonna win him a lot more than a number or fail miserably. he's like going all out, wearing his heart on his sleeve, and if it takes fighting a war for us too meet it will have been worth it and like seriously? yeah, flirt with every person in the room without skipping a beat, why not? he literally said on one intake of breath mr lafayette hard rock like lancelott i think your pants look hot laurens i like you a lot. he compliments people, he just throws it out instantly, most times he meets someone for the first time he compliments them and it's kind of my strategy too? it's not even a strategy, I just blurt out everything I like about a person once I meet them. it's like embarassing, because I liked a piece of jewelery on my co-worker once, and she was talking about something important while I could barely keep up because I kept thinking wow it looks great I gotta let her know. this strange need of mine to voice all thoughts annoys even me sometimes,

6. and then again, when he is angry or doesn't like something, it's painfully obvious. I don't tend to sprout profanities to people I don't like or saying stuff like madison you mad as hatter son take your medicine or you must be out of your GODDAMN mind or you absolutely right John should have shot him in mouth that would've shut him up but I can't school my face so it is always transparent what I am thinking about so my dislike is noted and not appreciated. it got me into enough embarassing situations. actually when studied in lyceum (like a sort of highschool) we had a principal and she addressed us as children and told us to call her mom and every time I was like WHAT THE HELL. I remember her eyes landing on me one time she said that and she almost did a doubletake at my facial expression. so the I'M NOT YOUR SON sentiment is not lost on me.

7. he speaks his mind when he thinks advice is in order? um if you love this woman go get her or for once in your life take a stand with pride. I tend to do it too, because I get winded up pretty fast, and I don't think it's always wise, because it's easy to judge from outside. I am pretty much sure that is the reason one of my friends back from school stopped talking to me. she had a bit of situation with her boyfriend and I still think her boyfriend is a piece of shit and she shouldn't have accepted him back, but whatever. wasn't my place to give advice, apparently

8. he gets overexcited? gentlemen of the jury I am curious bear with me are you aware that we are making history? like really I can't imagine ever getting like that at court. well I can imagine, because I get overexcited too, but saying that out loud? i'd be mortified

9. he's never satisfied? I know I already sorta covered it already, but it's more about him eager to learn and do more and feeling that what he's done and learnt is not enough, never enough. I so feel him on this, it's like yeah sure I know 4 languages, but that can't be enough can it? yeah I've got one degree but that's just ONE DEGREE that's like minimum I gotta get more

10. I know I talk too much I'm abrasive and I am not quoting Hamilton I am talking about myself thank you very much

11. he's a whiny bitch: but they don't have a plan they just hate mine -oh yes- or whatever it is Jefferson started it -huh yes sure-

12. forgetting your sons birthday? I forget my own age, sis. these little details just escape my attention. I like forgot it was my boyfriend's birthday this year - we literally live in the same flat. it took me a couple hours and a reminder from facebook. literally. and then I'll try to get away - hahaha it's like me saying to my parents - oh sure I'll some visit in a couple of months (they live in another part of the country) and then in a half a year being like oh wow when was the last time I went home

13. oh, here comes some more heavy stuff - say no to this. I was in a couple situations where I lost this battle. I think I have some polyamorous tendencies? but I am also very posessive and jealous, yeah, not a great mix, I know. so, I might have sorta dated two girls at one time once. well, not really dated, we were just bi-curious with one? we were friends, just... um, trying things. and then at some point I met another girl and it escalated pretty quickly and we sorta got together (oh my god the whole situation was a mess I was so confused about my sexuality back then and so ashamed you have no idea) and I didn't break it off with the first girl, but it was okay since we weren't... a thing? they knew each other but had no idea I slept with both of them. well we haven't really gotten that far with the first one but. and then the other asked at some point if she's the only one I do this with and I lied and a month into this endeavor I realized it was too much and sorta stopped seeing the first girl. we also stopped being close friends pretty soon afterwards. all my "lovestories" are embarassing actually, but this one is also the one I am most ashamed of. and then there were many situations in life when I was attracted to multiple people at the same time and ugh, I don't know, I kind of hate it, honestly. cheating is not okay. it is okay if everybody is okay with the polyamorous relationship though, but I never got to do it. so, yeah Ham's a dick but so am I

and on that depressing note I wanna wrap it up because I sorta killed the mood with that story. i think that's called oversharing?

if you actually read it to this point - wtf, you have nothing better to do or what?

I am not even gonna tag it so people don't have to scroll over that shit while searching for good content really I just like writing

the whole time I've been writing this my cat just kept staring at me. unblinkingly. I can feel her JUDGING ME

[ambivalent-anarchy]

Star Wars 101 (Ch. 2) Episode IV - A New Hope

Masterlist

Gender: Female

Pairing: Peter Parker x reader

Wow, I didn't realize how much I'd written until I hit the tumblr limit. Hope you like it! Comment your thoughts!

Chapter Summary: Steve just wants to do his job, the avengers are the best wingmen, Scott doesn't like porn, and [y/n] thinks all nerds are freaky

~~~

sci-fi boi: okay which cartoon rivalry was better?? Popeye the sailor man and Bluto or Tom and Jerry?

crackhead [y/n]: dude.

crackhead [y/n]: how is that even a question??? Obviously Tom and Jerry lol

sci-fi boi: explanation pls

crackhead [y/n]: popeye and bluto were always fighting over that girl olive and some other stupid crap but with my two furry buddies it was no talk pete no discussions just murder attempts ON SIGHT. Tell me they don't go harder than any other rivalry

sci-fi boi: haha truuuu

~~~

"Are we boring you, Queens?"

Peter's head snapped up quickly, discreetly turning his phone off underneath the meeting table. "Um-huh? No no no, Mr. Rogers I'm listening. Sorry."

Steve shook his head and continued to speak as he pointed to the pictures on the screen at the end of the room. All of the Avengers of Earth were there, some half asleep, while the others either joked or listened intently.

In two short days, they were going to be taking back powerful tech that Martin Li(aka: Mr. Negative)'s "demons" had stolen from Stark Industries. A simple "get in and get out".

They'd known this plan for some days now, yet Steve insisted on calling meetings to go over it again and again.

Feeling a quick vibration go off in his hand, Peter instinctively looked back down at his phone to see a snapchat text notification from you.

~~~

crackhead [y/n]: According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible🐝...

~~~

Peter shook his head slightly as he chuckled, a smile shamelessly creeping onto his face.

~~~

sci-fi boi: did you really just quote the bee movie at me???😂😂

~~~

"Hey spidey-boy, would you mind sharing to the class what's so hilarious?" Rhodey's voice rang out loud and clear from across the table.

Quick as lightning, Peter turned his phone off and buried it in between his thighs, realizing that he hadn't been as quiet as he'd thought. To his luck, everyone’s eyes were trained on him now.

“It's n-nothing!” Peter squeaked, his voice breaking embarassingly. He shoved his phone into his pocket in fear of someone snatching it from him.

Natasha rolled her eyes and smirked. "So what're you looking at down there?"

"I-i, uh, I was just um, w-watching a funny- very funny video actually-"

"C'mon guys!," Sam laughed, clapping his hands together. "Don't tease the kid. We all know what he was smiling at down there!"

At that, Peter practically choked. "WHAT?!"

Tony snickered. "Personally, I don't think two inches is something to be proud of, but alright."

Peter's eyes widen, nearly falling out of his skull by the looks of it. "I-it's not two inches a-and I wasn't looking at-!"

"Jesus christ, guys..." Bruce sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "He was obviously just doing something on his phone. Leave the poor guy alone."

Peter coughed as he saw Steve glare at him with that infamous 'Im Captain America and Im judging you' glare. Phones weren't allowed in the meeting room. Well, they weren't supposed to be. No one ever really followed that rule except Peter. But he'd already been so deep in his conversation with you that he just couldn't put his phone down. "No no, um, I wasn't.. I was just zoning out, y'know, and I just happened to be looking-"

"-at your phone?," Steve cut in to ask.

"-at your dick," Rhodey stated at the same time.

"-at porn," Tony said with an all-knowing smile, causing everyone at the table to turn towards either him or Peter, whose face was beet red with embarrassment.

"Peter please tell us you weren't watching porn," Scott begged, his jaw completely dropped. "I mean, no judgment but-"

"Full judgement, actually," Clint corrected, an extremely disturbed look on his face. "Seriously, what were you doing, kid? You gotta tell us now with all these assumptions being thrown around."

"Curious," Thor stated, leaning back in his chair. "What is porn?"

"Something that I definitely WAS NOT watching!," Peter responded as he practically slammed his face into the table and slapped his hands over his eyes. "Does it even matter what I was doing anyway?," he mumbled into the table.

Natasha raised an eyebrow, blowing the smoke off of her coffee. "People usually aren't this defensive when they're telling the truth, Peter."

Peter shrunk into his seat with a loud groan. Can I die. Can I please just die. Like why am I seriously even alive right now??? Some bad guy please just burst through the door and maim me please.

"F.R.I.D.A.Y. pull up Parker's phone," Tony commanded once the commotion in the room died down.

Peter quickly lifted his head. "Wait, what?!"

"Accessing Peter Parker's mobile device, sir," F.R.I.D.A.Y. responded. "Would you like for me to transfer the screen to the meeting board?"

Tony looked back with a laugh to see a frozen, slack-jawed Peter. He turned back around. "Yeah sure, F.R.I.D.A.Y., what the heck let's have fun."

"No wait- are you seriously hacking into my phone right now?!"

"Well why're you so tense, Parker?," Sam asked teasingly. "Thought you had nothing to hide?"

"I-i don't!," he stammered. "I-it's just..." he trailed off, looking for the right words to say. "..that's my private property," he said lamely while staring at the wall.

Tony stared back at him. "Well that's the dumbest excuse I've ever heard." He pointed towards the board. "Alright it's coming up."

Scott closed his eyes. "Oh God, please don't be porn.."

Peter rolled his eyes. Everyone else looked to the large board, fully expecting to see either porn or just some stupid game the boy had been playing.

But none of them expected him to be texting a girl.

~~~

crackhead [y/n]: hey u still there?

~~~

"Who's crackhead [Y/N]?," Natasha asked.

Scott turned to Rhodes who was sitting on the side of him. "Is that some trashy porn star?," he whispered.

"Why're you asking me like I know?"

"It's this girl from school.." Peter answered, blushing profusely.

"And you like her," Natasha noted, watching his body language intently.

The boy's eyes widened. "N-no I don't!"

"Why crackhead though?," Rhodey asked, crinkling his nose.

Peter shrugged. "That's what she wanted her name to be," here responded. "Thought it was funny."

Steve rolled his eyes. "Just like you thought 'sci-fi boi' was funny?" Shaking his head, he changed focused. "Guys, are we gonna get back to work or not?"

"Not," Tony answered as he scrolled up all the way to the beginning of the messages from early that morning. "So, you've been texting this girl today off and on since..." He checked the time. "Five in the morning?"

Clint chuckled. "Oh yeah, huge crush."

“No!” Peter protested, his voice an octave too high. Realizing that it isn’t working, he decided to try a different technique. Clearing his throat, he tried to sound and act as nonchalant as possible. “She’s just a friend from school.”

"She's first on your best friends list, even over that computer kid you practically live with. And you and her practically snap each other nonstop."

Peter scratched his nose. "W-well that's only cuz Ned doesn't like to text much."

Bruce took his glasses off and sighed, realizing there was no way this meeting was getting back on topic. "Look Pete," he said. "Friends don't do that. I've seen it all before. If you and this girl are talking on a daily basis all throughout the day starting at five in the morning?" He titled his head in a suggestive way, though Peter stared back at him blankly.

"What?," Peter asked.

"Oh my God, kid," Bruce sighed.

Tony held his head back and laughed. "It means either she likes you and your just too dense, you like her but won't admit it and she's just concerningly nice, or you both like each other and just won't make your moves!"

Sam, who hadn't lifted his eyes from the board the entire time, spoke up. "And judging by these texts, you already got her, it's just not official yet."

Tony kept scrolling. "You two went to winter formal together?"

"Yeah... but as friends," Peter said with a shrug.

Steve cleared his throat loudly, gaining the attention of everyone in the room at once. He looked at Peter who was doing everything here could not to look him in the eye. "Look, as much as I would love to talk about Peter's sad love life, we have a mission-"

"-that will still be there tomorrow, Cap," Bucky finished for him. "C'mon we've been going over this stuff for hours. Let us have this distraction."

Everyone looked to him, Tony feigning a puppy dog expression. Crossing his arms, he left the room. "Fine, but when someone gets hurt because they didn't know where they were supposed to go, don't blame me."

"...literally no one's ever blaming you, man," Sam said.

Suddenly, the screen lit up and F.R.I.D.A.Y. spoke. "Sir, Peter Parker has a new message."

Everyone looked to the board. "Oh my gosh, oh my gosh. Scroll down, Mr. Stark. Scroll down!," Peter yelled frantically. "What's she saying?"

Natasha smirked. "And you're sure you don't like her, Peter?"

His face flushed. "Okay fine...I might have a tiny crush-"

"I'm sorry I can't hear you," Tony cut in. "Can you say that agai-"

"-I SAID YEAH I REALLY LIKE THIS GIRL!," Peter finally yelled with his eyes squeezed shut. He kept them closed for about twenty seconds afterwards, afraid of the judging faces he would see if he opened them.

He carefully opened his eyes to see all of the avengers (minus Cap) staring back at him with stupid smiles and smirks on their faces.

"Well, that's all I needed to hear," Tony said. He clapped his hands together. "Okay everybody, first order of business, checking the text. Sam, you're our reader."

"Got it."

"What?," Peter yelled, reaching for his phone. Tony dodged him and gave it to Sam. "Mr. Stark, I can text a girl on my own. I don't need help."

"Nat, you're our timer. Make sure none of the responses take longer than a minute. We don't want the girl to get bored and go on to something else."

"Check."

"Mr. Stark, c'mon-"

"Sam, you explain stuff to lightning head over here if he doesn't understand it. This could be learning moment for ole Shakespeare. Thor, you listen to Sam."

"Right."

"On it."

"Everyone else, you're with me. We gotta find the perfect thing to say to this girl. I've got a feeling this is probably the only chance he's gonna have to get a girl in a long time."

Rhodes, Scott, Clint, Bruce, and Wanda looked to each other and nodded.

"And Pete?"

Peter raised his head. "Yes sir?"

"You know this girl more than anybody here does, so you tell us if what we say is appropriate for her or not."

Peter rolled his eyes and nodded. After all, what's the worst that can happen?

Tony pointed to Sam. "Okay, read it."

~~~

crackhead [y/n]: u going to flash's party on saturday??

~~~

"She wants to know if the kid's going to some party Saturday."

Tony turned to the boy. "You're going," her demanded.

Flash was the most popular douchebag in school. Totally rich and totally rude and totally determined to use his every breath to spite Peter. "I wasn't even invited," Peter mumbled, shooting a glare towards Sam when he heard him laughing.

"Well get invited," Tony ordered. "A party is the perfect place to make a move. Send yes."

~~~

sci-fi boi: yes

~~~

"Mr. Stark, how am I supposed to get into this party? Flash hates me! And if I crash it and Flash sees me, he's gonna make sure everyone thinks I'm a loser!"

Tony rolled his eyes and sighed. "Peter we're trying to help you here. Figure that part out on your own."

Peter sighed, leaning forward in his chair. The last thing he wanted was another assignment, even if it wasn't actually an assignment. On the plus side, he'd get to see you, and maybe have some fun if he actually tried to enjoy himself.

~~~

crackhead [y/n]: cool so i guess ill go too

~~~

Rhodey chuckled while shaking his head. "Kid, if you don't ask this chick out the second you see her again, I'm gonna bodyslam you."

Peter frowned. "What do you mean?"

Bruce smiled. "Whether or not she went to the party was depending on if you were going," he pointed out.

"This girl used to be like that with me back in college," Scott said with a shrug. "Thought she liked me. Turned out she just had social anxiety..."

"Yeah you're really not helping this, bugman," Tony said.

"Wait, you guys think [Y/N] actually likes me back?," Peter asked, getting groans and laughs in return.

"Where have you been the last few minutes?," Natasha said.

"We've literally been saying that this entire time," Sam deadpanned.

Peter stared at his feet below the table. If the team was right, and you did actually like him back, then the movie marathon he was planning was the perfect excuse to hang out with you. "I-i think I might have a plan!," he rushed out, his head flying up. He pointed to Sam. "Ask her if she's free tonight!"

"Yes!," Thor yelled, his fists pumped into the air. "The spider child has grown his man balls!"

"Now that's what I'm talking about." Sam nodded approvingly as he texted.

~~~

sci-fi: r u free tonight??😉

~~~

"Wait hold on," Peter said, suddenly rushing towards the phone in a frantic manner. "Why is there a winking emoji?! I didn't say anything about a winking emoji!"

Sam raised an eyebrow. "I thought you were flirti-"

Peter groaned. "Delete it, man. Delete it before her bitmoji pops up!"

"Okay okay, dang kid," Sam chuckled, quickly deleting the text and replacing it with one without a winking emoji. "There. And ya girl didn't even see it."

"Hey guys," Scott said. "I know we're all freaking out and stuff. But honestly, I'm just glad he wasn't watching porn." He shrugged. "So no matter what happens with this girl, today's still an absolute win."

It went on like this for a solid thirty minutes.

~~~

crackhead [y/n]: yeah wassup

sci-fi boi: wanna come over and watch movies?

crackhead [y/n]: sure what're we watching

sci-fi boi: we can decide that when u get here. how about 4??

crackhead [y/n]: alright sure

~~~

"Okay, last thing," Tony said. "We need a sly compliment. Something not that special about her, but enough to show her that you're tuned in. Gets them every time, trust me."

Natasha rolled her eyes. "Wow, lady-killer."

Tony pointed towards her and shrugged. "She said it, not me."

Thor looked to Peter. "So, young spider. What have you observed about your darling love?"

Peter blushed, almost wanting to comment on the Thor's word choice but ultimately deciding not to. "Well, um, her eyes light up a lot when she gets excited and it's really dorky in a cute kind of way I guess," he mumbled, scratching his head.

"Alright I got it," Sam said, typing the words in. He lifted his shoulders into a shrug. "Who knows, kid? There be some hope for you."

~~~

sci-fi boi: btw how do you get ur eyes to sparkle so bright when u get happy about stuff? Just thinking about it lol its cute

~~~

-

Peter blew out a shaky breath as he looked back over the set-up he'd made in the living room.

He'd cleared out space to build a super huge homemade blanket fort and inside it at the end was his tv. Towards the middle were all of pillows he could find inside the house and at the other end were snacks. All around the inside were fairy lights because he knew you liked them, though personally he found them cliche.

He spent about an hour on the whole set and an additional thirty minutes stressing over and making sure everything was safe (with all three fairy lights and tv cords). The last thing he needed was for the both of you to catch on fire while watching the movie.

The two of you were going to be watching Star Wars: Episode IV - A New Hope (or as normal 'not-nerds' like to call it, "the first one"). Of course, he hadn't told the team that. If they'd known what movie he'd planned on showing her, high chances are they wouldn't have even let him out of Avengers tower. But if Peter was gonna be forced to hang out with someone (not that he was really complaining), he would at least pick the film.

Finally checking all the boxes in his head for the night, Peter went to go check the DVD before he heard your knock at the door.

"Coming!," he yelled, quickly chucking the disc into the DVD player. He ran to the door and opened it with an awkward smile. "Uh, hey [Y/N]."

"Hey," you said back, already sort of blushing. "How's it going?"

Peter stared. Are your eyebrows done or are they just naturally that nice? He found his voice after abruptly noticing that he was staring. "Uh-well. It's been going great! How's it going for y-you also as well?" He frowned. "I-i mean, what's been going on with your life lately? No, that's dumb. I meant-"

"Peter, Peter! Calm down, dude," you giggled. "I've been fine."

"Oh," he chuckled. "That's good... d-do you wanna come in?"

"Question. What're we watching, Peter?," you asked, a smile playing on your face. Considering what you remembered from the last time you were at his house, and the fort you could get a peek of from the doorframe, you figured it was special for the nerdy boy. Plus his shirt had Yoda on it.

Freakin' Star Wars.

Immediately, a wide grin spread across his face. "Remember what you promised me we'd watch?"

You rolled your eyes, stepping past him into his living room. "Yeah yeah, whatever. Time to get nerdy I guess."

"Come on, you'll love it,"Peter said, quickly closing the door behind them and then briskly running towards the fort to hold up the side blankets for you. "So, snacks and drinks are beside us. We'll chill on these blankets here. And...um, yeah. That's about it." After stepping outside for a bit to go turn off the lights(for the full "movie theater" experience), Peter laid down on his belly, reaching for the DVD player to press play.

You watched as he fumbled with the wires, making sure the DVD player was plugged in before turning it on. Has your jawline always been that sharp?

You couldn't quite place it, but his texts from before seemed.. weird. But not a bad weird at all. A good, intriguing weird.

And that compliment was pretty nice, but odd for Peter. Sure, he complimented you often, but it just felt different this time. Usually it'd be something like, "new dress?" or "nice shoes". But never "you're eyes sparkle when you get excited." Heck, you didn't even know that about you. Was he paying attention? Did that mean he-

You remember how he acted about Liz Allen and Michelle Jones. Always staring. Never able to even say a full sentence in front of them without stuttering up a storm.

But he was so comfortable about you for the most part. You were just a friend.

"Okay got it," Peter said, laughing excitedly as the screen in front of him lit up. He scooted back to where you were sat. "Prepare to have your mind blown."

The Fort quickly became dark as the Lucasfilm logo shined on the screen.

"I seriously dou-"

"Shhh!," he cut you off. "Wait for it..."

You gave him a look but joined him in his silence to see what he was waiting for.

BUMMMMM buh buh bummmm

Practically jumping on top of him, you flinched at the loud and sudden music. "Crap dude! Turn it down!"

Peter shook his head, reaching for a soda. "You have to get the full effect, [Y/N]!," he laughed. "Just embrace it." He began to sing with the music and mime crazy gestures as if he were directing an orchestra.

Duh duh duh DUH DUHHHHHHHH

Halfway through he stopped and recited the opening crawl, his eyes glued to the screen with a sort of focus that made you sure that not only was this not foreign to him, he probably did this every other week.

"It is a period of civil war," he mumbled, throwing some popcorn into his mouth. "Rebel spaceships, striking from a hidden base, have won their first victory against the evil Galactic- [Y/N] you have to watch the words, I swear it'll make the whole experience better." It went on for a little while longer until he paused the movie and looked over at you, cowering a bit. "D-do I have something on my face?"

"Huh? Nah you're good," you said, realizing he'd noticed you staring. "It's just-" you remembered his text from earlier. "-you got really excited... It-um..it was cute."

Because of the darkness(the only lighting being from the tv), you couldn't see if Peter blushed or not, but you could clearly see the stupid grin plastered on his face that he was trying to hide from you with his hand. Repeatedly licking his lips as a desperate attempt to stop smiling as he pressed play on the remote control. "A-ah, um, thanks [Y/N]."

The opening crawl was over and soon the movie actually began, showing a huge spaceship.

"That's the imperial star destroyer," Peter whispered, never taking his eyes off the screen. "They belong to the empire." He saw your blank expression, wide eyes as he realized that meant nothing to you. "Uh, the bad guys."

You squinted your eyes at the screen, silently judging the graphics of the energy blasts- space bullets?- or whatever they were supposed to be. "Pete, when was this movie made?"

"1977."

"Oh okay," you said, deciding to give it some leeway for the trash designs.

You scooted a little closer to your friend, figuring you'd get a little bit more comfortable.

Oh how he wished you hadn't done that.

Nothing like actual, physical contact with a girl that you like and you think she might like you back to actually manage to distract you from one of your favorite movies ever.

He froze, not wanting to pull away and offend you, but definitely not wanting to stay because just being this close to you was making his mind run wild.

Does she actually like me back? What if Mr. Stark and the team only said that to get me to make a fool of myself? She's too comfortable with me. She just sees me as a friend. Or maybe she likes me and she's just really chill about it? Ooh my gosh and she's leaning on me right now. What am I 'sposed to do?? I don't know I don't know I don't know!!!!!!!!!

Deciding for a quick compromise, he got up completely to reach for another soda, though his sprite was still half finished. When he sat back down, he wasn't as close. Hopefully, you'd just see it as natural human behaviour and not him wanting to be away from you.

Course you would see it that way, wouldn't you?

"Oh my gosh I recognize someone! That's R2D2, right?!" You pointed wildly, glad to not be completely clueless for once with this nerd crap.

"Yeah that's R2," Peter responded, letting out a secret sigh of relief, thankful for the distraction.

"A-and that's that gold dude!"

"Yeah, C-3PO."

"And oh crap that's Princess Leia!," you shouted. "Fucking feminist icon!"

Peter tilted his head. "Wait, how would you know that if you've never watched this?"

You laughed. "I still have access to the internet, doofus! Scroll down the nerdy feminist side of tumblr and Leia is literally everywhere."

Peter chuckled as he finally finished his sprite. "Okay. Valid."

Since that, you stopped talking for a bit. Part of you actually did figure that since you're here, you might as well actually try to enjoy the movie and maybe find out what the fans actually see in it that makes them like it so much. The other part just really didn't want to annoy Peter while he was watching his favorite movie series.

But sometimes you just have to say something.

"Hold up, wait. Isn't that his sister? Oh my God, Pete I swear somebody told me before that Leia was Luke's twin!"

Peter shrugged while nodding. "Well, that's a bit of a spoiler, but yeah. What about it?"

"Oh my gosh, Pete- what about it?! Dude, he's literally making 'fuck me' eyes at his own sister! He's all like, 'ooh you're so sexy I'm gonna bone you all over the galaxy'. That's freaky!"

You grabbed the remote and began to rewind it.

"C'mon now [Y/N]," he explained. "He didn't call her sexy. He said she was beautiful. Sexy is wayyy different from beautiful. You can think your family members are beautiful can't you?"

You paused it once you got to where you wanted.

"Okay Parker, look at that. Look at that and tell me Lukes's not totally undressing her with his eyes!" You pointed at Peter's face with a goofy smile on yours. "Oh wow, I've finally figured you people out now."

Peter's head cocked to the side. "Figured out what?"

"Star Wars nerds are a bunch of horny kids that like that step-sibling porn stuff but can't watch that in front of their parents so they have to use an alternative!"

Peter fell on his back with laughter, practically rolling around like a pig. "[Y/N], what?!"

You gave him an incredulous look. "Who else likes to see two siblings bang each other, Peter?!"

At that he pointed back at you while picking up his other soda. "To be fair, they never do that with each other. They only kiss, like twice and that's it. And one of them is only to make Han Solo mad."

"Oh yeah, I forgot about the Han Solo guy. Where is he anyway?"

Peter smiled. "Well, we're only twenty mintues in. He'll come soon."

To tell the truth, Peter really didn't even know what part you were at. His eyes were watching the screen but nothing was being comprehended. The only thing he could manage to think about was all the tiny things that were going on over on your side of the fort. Did you notice him staring? Was Tony right and you were just concerningly nice?

"I love how everybody at this bar is so chill south everything that's happening. It's like oh wow this guy just shot this green dude at table 8 and nope we totally don't care," you joked, pulling Peter out of his trance. He reminded himself that he should probably try to pay more attention. He didn't want to ruin the movie for you in case you had any questions.

But eventually, like all things do, the movie came to an end.

"So, how'd you like it?," Peter said while neither one of you made a move to leave the dark fort. You were laid out in practically a starfish-type position while he was sitting Indian-style.

You smirked. "I'll admit, it was pretty nice for a movie made in 1977. Still a bit lame though," you teased, pinching your fingers together with a giggle. Suddenly, you gasped. "Ooh, Vader was pretty lit though! Just straight force-choking people who disagree with you is such a power move."

Peter rolled his eyes and scoffed lightly. "Typical..."

"Excuse me?"

He bit back a quick smile. "Look, I'm not saying that Darth Vader isn't awesome. Because he is! Totally and completely but [Y/N], you do realize that in literally every movie we watch you like the villains?," he said, raising an eyebrow.

"Because the villains are awesome!," you defended.

"Just saying. I'm sensing a bit of a pattern...," he teased.

You scoffed. "This coming from the guy who actually feels bad about some the people crashing into things when we're watching Ridiculousness," you said, reminding in how Peter was forever the relentless sap. "Well, while you're so busy judging me, whose your favorite character?"

At that, he gave a small sincere smile. "Ben. He's really cool."

"Ben Kenobi? The old guy that literally let himself die? But why?"

He shrugged, the small grin still present on his face. "Eh, sentimental reasons..."

He watched you return his sweet smile and it was then and there when Peter really felt content with the night. Though, you hadn't even known the weight his words carried, he did. Ned was the only other person who knew about it. But Peter knew right then and there that if you had asked, he'd tell you. And he knew you'd understand. Maybe you were just nice. Or maybe you did like him back. But in that moment, Peter didn't care. He just wanted to be here with you. Lost in the warm smell of popcorn and your vanilla perfume, watching a Star Wars movie with Uncle Ben surely smiling down from Heaven. And it gave Peter hope that maybe, just maybe, this was a step in the right direction.

2 hours (and five minutes) down. 22 hours (and forty seven mintues) to go...

---------------------------------------

Taglist: @underoosjae @spn-assemble-seven @of-your-eyes-begonia-skies @parkerpeter24 , @audreylovespidey706

[emdythewriter]

A new light | chapter twelve (Elriel)

Elain was giddy as she walked out of the office that day. Ready for the weekend and to get away from Vivianne’s nagging. She knew exactly the reason for Elain’s smile that day and Vivianne wasn’t going to let up until she spilled all her secrets.

“It’s about fucking time!” Elain’s friend had shouted, causing eyes to turn in their directions and bringing a bright red color to her cheeks. “He was good right? Please tell me he was good otherwise I will be very disappointed,” Vivianne continued not even caring all that much that she had embarrassed her friend.

“He was very good,” Elain said quietly, ducking her head, eyes trained on her lap as her face heated even more. Any hotter and she was likely to explode the whole building along with herself.

“Thank god you both finally pulled your heads out of your asses,” Vivianne said with no remorse.

“Hey!” Elain shouted, eyes blinking up to her smiling and giddy friend.

“Sorry, but it’s true,” Vivianne said and Elain knew that it was true. Her and Az had spent too long going in circles and never catching each other. It felt good to finally be able to catch her breath. “I’m so happy for you.”

“Thank you,” Elain said and pulled her friend into a tight hug. She hugged her until they were on the verge of being yelled at for not doing their jobs. Elain could see her boss giving them the stink eye through the glass of her office.

Elain smiled at the memory as she waited for Azriel on the corner. It was busy, the streets crowded as people rushed out of the office and to the closest restaurant for take out. A few people moved out of her way and as soon as they did she met a pair of the most beautiful hazel eyes she had ever seen.

Azriel smiled as he crossed the street and made his way to Elain. Grabbing her waist he pulled her into his chest and kissed, a kiss that they both had been deprived of for years. “I’ve been waiting to do that all day,” he whispered against her lips once he pulled back.

“I missed you too,” Elain said, smoothing a crease in his shirt just for the excuse to casually run her hands over his chest.

“Ready to go home?” Azriel asked, grabbing her hand. Elain nodded, wrapping her another hand around his arm as they began their trek back to their apartment complex.

___

After going to Elain’s apartment so she could grab what she needed for the weekend, and maybe having sex a couple times on her couch, they made their way to Az’s place. As she settled herself into his room and bathroom he began to pull out things for dinner.

Elain liked to eat right after work so he made sure there was also a bag of chips out for her to snack on while he cooked. Azriel figured tonight would just be a simple night. He grabbed out the ingredients he needed to make an asian dish Feyre had taught him to make after she made it on a night he came over for dinner.

“What are you making,” Elain asked as she came out of the bathroom wearing a pair of sweats and a Third Eye Blind shirt that belonged to him. Az smiled, seeing her in his clothes just made him want to hoist her onto the counter and pull off said clothes. Elain went straight for the bag of chips, placing herself on a barstool at the island while she watched him.

“Egg roll in a bowl,” Az said as he reluctantly pulled his eyes from hers and back to the ground beef he was cooking. The recipe was simply a bag of lettuce from the grocery store, ground beef, and some seasonings.

“Perfect,” Elain said in between munching on chips.

“You want to pick a movie while I cook?” Az asked, looking over his shoulder to see her. She was taking the clasp out of her hair so she could pull it into a messy bun. Az watched her until almost every strand was off her neck, it wouldn’t stay up too much longer if he had any say about it.

“Sure,” she said, taking her bag of chips with her as she went to the living room. Elain turned on the TV and started scrolling through Netflix. “How do you feel about docuseries?” She asked, looking over at him from the couch.

“They’re fine I guess,” Az said as he poured the beef into the lettuce mixture and started adding the seasoning before mixing it all together. “Why? Did you find one you want to watch?”

“Nesta mentioned that she and Cassian started watching this show called Tiger King last night,” Elain said. She was sitting on her knees, arms crossed over the back of the couch as she leaned her head on them.

“Isn’t that show supposed to be crazy or something?” Az had heard Cassian mention it earlier when they all had sat down in Rhys’s office for lunch today.

“Yeah and my curiosity is getting the better of me,” Elain said as her brown eyes pleaded with him.

“Then that’s fine with me,” he watched as she smiled brightly, turning to face the TV once more. He loved that he could make her smile like that, it made him smile more than he had in a very long time and it was only ever around her that he did. Even when they were seeing other people Elain Archeron always managed to bring out his true smile.

Az scooped out their servings after turning off the stove. Grabbing two bottles of water from the fridge and tucking them under his arm he made his way to the living room.

“Thank you,” Elain said as she took the bowl he handed to her along with the water. Az sat down next to her and she scooted closer so she could be tucked into his side. Once they were settled Elain started the first episode of the show.

Azriel didn’t expect them to actually pay attention to the documentary but next thing he knew they were three episodes in and about to start the fourth at ten o’ clock at night. “Is it just me or is this a show where you can’t not know what happens next?” Elain asked from his lap where she had laid her head after finishing her dinner.

“Oh it is a hundred percent one of those shows,” Azriel said and Elain chuckled.

“Onto the next?” She asked though he suspected she already knew his answer. They both found themselves sucked into the mayhem that is Tiger King from the very first second of the show.

“Babe we’re not starting until we finish it,” Az answered her.

“Then you better make some popcorn,” Elain responded. He hopped up from the couch, moving her head out of the way first.

“As you wish,” he said, quoting one of her favorite movies. It was the only quote he knew if he was being honest because it was his least favorite movie. Elain chuckled as he headed for the kitchen, taking their dirty bowls from dinner with him.

He grabbed a bag of kettle corn to put into the microwave before going on a search for a fresh bowl.

“What do you think about me moving in?” Elain asked out of nowhere. Azriel knocked his head on the top of the cupboard as he tried to shoot up in surprise. “Are you okay?” His girlfriend asked as he rubbed his head.

“I’m good,” he said, only wincing slightly at the pain. “But are you serious?” Az asked, looking at her wary face.

“I mean we both know that I’ll be here more than my own place after this weekend so why not go ahead and do it,” she shrugged as if this topic wasn’t a big deal. 

Azriel set his bowl on the counter before coming back to the couch and sitting next to her. He grasped Elain’s hands and looked into her brown eyes, his favorite feature of hers. “You want to move in with me?”

“Yes,” she said without pause but her face fell as she asked her next question. “Do you not want me to?”

“Of course I want you to,” Azriel assured her. “I don’t want to spend any more time apart from you. We’ve done enough of that for a lifetime.”

“Then it looks like you have a new roommate,” Elain said with a smile, jumping into his lap. Azriel laughed, more happy than he ever thought he could be after finally winning her heart. She pressed him to the couch kissing him. He smiled into the kiss cupping the back of her head and exploring her mouth.

“I love you,” she whispered onto his lips.

“I love you,” Azriel answered and kissed her again. Their show was long forgotten as they became a tangle of limbs and happiness on that couch in the apartment that would soon be theirs rather than just his.

Tag list:

@thephilosophyofblank @roseteaofficial @sleeping-and-books @court-of-fuck-me-daddy @azriels-forgotten-shadow @tintinnabulary @jemma-nessian-and-elriel @cc-psm @chemicha @but-she-was-aelin-galathynius @ttakeitbacknoww @azrielismycinnamonrollprimary @mis-lil-red @poisonous00 @julesherondalex @acreativitydump @theogvodkaaunt @rapunzel1523 @l0sts0uls1128 @lord-douglas-the-third @musicalfae @sezkins79 @eloeloeheheh @caldelray @abimomeopectore @tswaney17 @wonderlandatemypancakes @loysydark @imheretooa @illyriangarbage @emmejo26 @amitynotpity @alingelina @unassumingsoda @hav-illi-ard @amylindle @ellenoftroy @hizqueen4life

(Let me know if you want to be tagged!)

[eventschimp]

115 Fantastic Happy Birthday Funny Messages. best wishes

Best Funny happy birthday wishes

Looking for the perfect Happy birthday funny messages & pictures to brighten someone's day? Whether it's someone you know, or someone you're friends with, or even someone who's lost their birthday wish, we have all the humorous birthday wishes you'll need and absolutely enjoy.

Fun should be an integral part of our life and must be on the occasions of Good days of life. The funny wishes and fun notes are sure to make their day brighter and make them laugh! Send them in greeting cards, by SMS, or via Facebook and Twitter!

Here you will find quick-links to specific sections and the complete list of funny birthday quotes and wishes.

funny birthday message to my best friend

You have many friends, but some of them have a special badge of a best friend, so they need special attention, more time to spend with them and priority over others in your life. If you want to wish them well on their special day, here are some great happy birthday funny messages to make them smile.

1.Wish you a happy birthday, sweetheart, and keep smiling until I have enough evidence to send you to the mental asylum.

2.Use these funny happy birthday quotes to wish someone a very happy birthday and poke fun at their age. You can use them in a card message, a Facebook caption, or even a t-shirt.

3.Statistics tell us you will live longer if you have the most birthdays (but it has also been proven that too many birthdays will kill you.

4. I know you are celebrating your birthday, but you can't stop your favorite food items from being right in front of you.

5.Happy birthday! After all those years and yet another year, you still haven't become wiser.

6.On your birthday, you can always depend on me to let loose with a night to remember in the morning.

7. Do not let age catch you down... it is too hard to bounce back!

8.On your birthday, I have something gluten-free, completely calorie-free, and absolutely delightful gift. Guess, what I have for you? Yes, you are right... It's a text message!

9. The kind of friend I am, I forgot your age.

10. I can't believe how fast time flies when you're having fun! When did we get so old?

11. The fact that we managed to keep this friendship going despite generational differences is wonderful.

Funny messages and wishes for girlfriend.

Having a girlfriend is a privilege no one must forget to wish on special occasions, and everyone would like to do something out of the ordinary to strengthen the bond of friendship and love.

It seems that funny happy birthday messages do the job perfectly. A good and funny note can put your lover's smile on her face and this is the ultimate goal of greeting them. Here is a compilation of some fine wishes messages for your girlfriend.

12. The one and only time I lied to you was when I said I'd love you forever, but realized that i couldn't live that long..

13. Last night, I dreamed of you while hugging my pillow. I wish one day I could dream about my pillow and be hugging you.

14. Regardless of what economists may say, you are the only one for me. There is no one else I can replace you with.

15. If my eyes are bothering me, I can't remove them from you.

16. Falling from the sky or a tree is fine, but the finest way to fall in love is with you! Happy Birthday my sweetheart.

17. The proverb goes wrong that a picture is worth a thousand words, but after looking at yours, I have no words to describe!

18. I'm no gambler, but I guess I'm just betting with my heart and mind that I will never stop loving you.

19. Too much smiling has caused me to develop wrinkles. Stop being so lovely! It drives me crazy..

20. It's evident that I adore you, from the sparkle in your eyes.

21. I hope your birthday is as awesome as your hair in high school.

You may check out: 71 Birthday Wishes in Unique Style- Best Bday messages

Best humorous wishes for boyfriend

22. We will lock up our hearts together and toss away the key; I give my heart to you; do give yours to me.

23. Because monopoly is always harmful and competition is always beneficial, it makes sense to have many crushes and flirts instead of just one true love! An economic theory on love.

24.  Whenever we're together, you make me feel so young. Thank you for being the first.

25. It's a pleasure to celebrate the birthday of someone I hope will be my friend, even when we're too senile to remember each other's birthdays.

26. Happy birthday to a person who is charming and talented, as well as witty, and is much like myself.

27. It is your birthday, so we will eat fired up baked goods and sing at you while you sit there awkwardly.

28. Happy birthday. Thanks for being older than me all your life.

29. Wishing you a unique birthday wish every year would be difficult. Choosing a special wish for next year would be even more challenging, so I'll just say happy birthday.

30. Despite the truth that today would be a perfect time to write sweet words about my best friend in the world, I already finished my autobiography a month ago.

Happy birthday funny messages for brother

Depending on your brother's personality and what type of relationship you have with him, these next funny birthday wishes for brothers could be just the thing for you to give him a laugh on his birthday too!

Hoping that these happy birthday funny messages will amaze your dear brother on his birthday, so keep scrolling to choose the perfect one.

31.That's all you really need for a gift. Just saying. Happy birthday!

32. Although it's hard to understand why we're celebrating your day since only mom did all the efforts. Happy birthday!

33. I am amazed at how long we have tolerated each other. Happy Birthday.

34. Your birthday falls at just the right age. You are old enough to see your mistakes, but still young enough to make more. Happy Birthday!

35. Wishing you a happy birthday! Hope you have a day as beautiful as a unicorn farting rainbows!

36. Hey big bro! They say that as you get older your intellect grows, but since we keep doing the same stupid thing we did as kids, we must be the exception to that rule.

37. It's my brother's birthday and he's smart, funny, witty, charming… and a lot like me!

38. I'm glad you're finally 21 and can finally do all those things you've been doing since you were 16! Happy birthday!

39. There's only one person you can be completely idiotic with through thick and thin. So glad I have you, bro! Have a great birthday!

40. After searching the web for 3 hours, I gave up trying to find the perfect birthday message for you. Happy Birthday.

41. When I thought about what I would get you for your birthday, I realized you already have me. Thank you very much. Happy birthday!

You may check out the amazing article

Funny happy birthday wishes for a lil sister

Finding funny happy birthday wishes for your younger sister has never been easier, with a wide selection of funny greetings, funny jokes, and wishes. We have all the best, cute, beautiful, and sweet words to bring a smile to your little angel's face.

42. I wish you a very happy birthday to the sassiest, coolest, and funniest little sister in the world!

43. Congratulations on your birthday, little sister, you may have always been smarter than me, but you have always been my best friend.

44. I will always love you for being my little monkey, but you've grown up, happy birthday Lil sister

45. My parents never gave me a pet before you were born, but after you were born I finally got a pet. Happy birthday, Sister I hope you never grow up.

46. You are not only funny but also crazy, just like your sister. No one else has a sister like you. Happy Birthday.

47. Thank you for being the most competitive person I have ever encountered in my life. Why couldn't you accept my win against you? I didn't understand. Happy Birthday my little sister

48. Happy Birthday, sis. I will always think of you as my silly little sister, no matter how tall or wise you get.

49. I love you, dear one, and I will love you until the very end. Despite your age, it doesn't mean you are any better or worse off than I am. I love you.

50. You have indeed given me nerves of steel, Happy Birthday little sister.

Happy birthday funny wishes for father

Regardless of your age, dad always celebrates your birthday well. Now, it's his turn to celebrate and have a great party! Use the best Funny Birthday Wishes for Father to show how much you respect the humor and zest for life your dad possesses. Your father is the best man you know, so give him a happy birthday celebration with Funny Birthday Wishes for Father he'll remember and love!

51. I know it's not an easy job being a dad, but it's done with class and style. Happy birthday to the father who does it all.

 52. Your schedule is just like that of a student with a lot of classes. Happy birthday, Dad!

53. Happy birthday dad, I'm sorry I can't be there to wish you a happy birthday in person, but please know that I think of you on your special day. Thanks for everything you do! Can't wait to see you again!

54. Here's a fun fact-you're not getting older, but you take great pleasure in making bad jokes. Enjoy more of those, Dad, and happy birthday!

55. Having said that, I know that today is your birthday, but that does not make it a holiday, so I'm not too excited about it. Just kidding. Happy birthday to an important man!

56. It's been a week since I thought of what to write in a funny birthday message for you. But I couldn't think of anything funny. Happy birthday!

57. Your mother told me that, even though you're getting older, you're not becoming any wiser. You should be grateful for the information she shared with you. Just kidding.

Happy birthday funny messages for husband

It makes sense, then, that, at least once every three hundred and sixty-five days, we owe ourselves something special. And on those days, consciously or subconsciously, we all crave to be celebrated by others. It is especially important to celebrate our spouse's birthday every year. After all, our spouse is our better half. Who else will do it?

58. You transformed everything about companionship when we met. It still amazes me how amazing you remain throughout our marriage. Happy birthday, dear husband.

 59. I count my blessings twofold, honey because you brought light and fragrance into my life on the hardest of days. Happy birthday to you, love.

60. I wish you the most beautiful days of your life because you are the most amazing human ever. Have a great day, my prince charming.

61. Even if I were reincarnated as a woman multiple times and found you every time, I would never marry anyone else. Happy birthday to you.

62. Thank you for being devoted, supportive, enthusiastic, compassionate, creative, strong and resourceful. You are an amazing human being and I love you more than anything.

63. I feel safe and prepared for any obstacle with you by my side. You are a fantastic teammate, and I love you for that. Happy birthday, dear.

64. I celebrate you every day, so there is no need to limit my celebration to one day. But let me take this opportunity to remind you how deeply I love you. Happy birthday, dear!

Best birthday messages and wishes for Mother

Whether you agree or disagree with me, mothers are the best! If the mother you have is not your best, that's huge! Mothers are truly God's gift to us. Mothers know how to shed tears and smile when necessary. They give so freely for you when no one else will. They sacrifice a lot to make you happy. Mothers are gold! They deserve the best! 65. Despite being the best mom in the world, I can't express how much I love you enough to wish you an amazing birthday.

66. I appreciate how patient and loving you have been with me. Thank you for letting me wish you a wonderful birthday.

67. It is the greatest honor of my life to celebrate my mother's birthday. She is the most wonderful mother a person could ask for.

68. Cheers to a terrific birthday and a successful year to come for the best mom in the world.

69. In return, I wish you all the happiness on your birthday. I am extremely lucky to have a mother like you who is caring, kind, and giving.

70. Mom is a great mother who brought me into this world and has loved me ever since. And to your mom for bringing you into this world, which gave us the opportunity to celebrate your birthday today.

71. Having been born to you makes me feel more blessed than I could not imagine. Happy birthday to my great Mom

72. Your love and guidance led me to where I am today, and I would like to express my gratitude for your birthday.

73. My mom, you always put in a lot of effort to make this day special, but now it's my turn to make it memorable.

Happy birthday funny note for wife

After spending a long time married to one's sweetheart, you might want to express your gratitude, show your love and give her additional attention whenever there is another reason to celebrate. On her birthday, you will obviously want to look for a unique present, yet it is important that you also share your thoughts.

If your wife doesn't want a physical gift, or if you don't have one, here are dozens of birthday wishes for her that you can use as inspiration or use as is. It's the acknowledgment or attention she gets from you that really makes her birthday magical.

74. It is the one day out of the year I put my wife's mother-in-law in my prayers. Happy birthday, sweetheart!

75. PI is like how much I love you, darling wife: endless and never-ending.

76. Unless I use Nutella on my toast or ice cream on my apple pie, I wouldn't eat my honeybun without you. Happy Birthday, my beautiful wife.

77. The only thing better than bacon… and that's a lot… is my love for you.

78. Thank you for being the only copilot I'd ever want. Happy Birthday

79. Happy Birthday to my beautiful, thoughtful, intelligent wife! I am lucky enough to be your husband…but you only surpassed my luck by being mine!

Funny wishes for daughter's birthday

Here you will find an impressive range of heartwarming happy birthday funny messages for daughters to inspire you. Whether you're looking for a short message to send or a thoughtful card, you'll find something here to suit your needs.

80. Our beautiful daughter celebrated her birthday today! We love you so much, Mom and Dad!

81. Getting you the best present possible makes my day complete. Wish you a day filled with sunshine, rainbows, laughter, and fun!

82. Happy birthday to our daughter, we wish you all the best.

83. We are so happy to have you in our lives, Sweetie! We're so glad you're kind, fun, and crazy!

84. My dear daughter, I hope your day is as wonderful as you are, as shiny as your doll’s grin. Thanks for everything.

85. Having you in it makes the world a better place! Although we need to be smarter in handling you and our dishes has been a challenge. Happy birthday, lovely daughter!

86. Thank you for being such an amazing friend and we wish you a wonderful birthday. Love from Mom and Dad 

87. I love having you as a daughter. Thank you for being mine. Happy birthday darling, love from Mom.

Birthday funny wishes for daughter-in-law

You can find so many amazing funny happy birthday wishes and messages for your daughter-in-law right here on our website. Make sure you take advantage of them and send them to her!

You can pick from our extensive collection of original birthday wishes to transform your beloved daughter-in-law’s birthday into an unforgettable experience she will cherish for years to come.

88. It's a wonderful birthday wish to a daughter-in-law blessed to have such a great mother and father-in-law.

89. Thank you so much for not being a malicious daughter-in-law towards me on your birthday, dearest. I can't thank you enough.

90. Thank you so much for putting my son on the map. Without you, he would certainly be nothing - just as teens would be nothing without smartphones and social media accounts. Happy birthday!

91. The idea that daughter-in-laws are wicked and difficult is wrong. May the good Lord bless you abundantly for not being a witchy in-law. Have a great birthday.

92. Have a wonderful birthday! Did you know that science-backed studies have proven over and over again that too many birthdays lead to premature death?

93. While we celebrate your birthday, dear daughter-in-law, I find my mind wondering about the rumors that you were so old your first car was a covered wagon. I hope you will take this opportunity to clarify that issue once and for all!

humorous birthday messages for Mother-in-law

Birthdays are the most glorious days on earth and so, without doubt, they are always special to the individual who celebrates them. So, a funny message of happy birthday and a lovely wish to your MIL on her birthday would really make her happy and tell her that you love her, too.

94. In honor of your birthday, I am sending you a belated birthday message. I hope you accept it ma.

95. Enjoy your birthday, no matter how noisy we are. May you find the energy and patience to put up with our annoying habits. Happy birthday.

96. How wonderful my mother-in-law is, she is just terrific, and I'm sure she will serve me a bottle of Fanta today.

97. Mother-in-law, I couldn't have given you a better birthday gift than the precious daughter you gave me. I can only strive to be the son you never had. Happy birthday, mom!

98. You seem to be defying the laws of aging; you seem to be turning back the clock. If there is some secret to this, please share it with me. Happy birthday.

99. Lastly, I want you to know I really appreciate you not executing me while I slept for taking your precious daughter and I am so thankful I still have a wonderful mother-in-law.

How to wish your boss in a funny tone?

A leader's job can be challenging, but it can also be rewarding. Keeping clients satisfied and having respect from employees is important for success on the job. You should let your boss know he/she is appreciated and that you are happy to work together, especially on his/her birthday. You will not only make your boss's day more exciting by sending happy birthday funny messages, but you may even brighten your own, as well.

100. During this intensive year, your support has been vital to many people and the company. Thank you for everything you do.

101. You are an example of all that is good in this company, and I see you making smart decisions all the time that benefit both the company and our clients. You truly are a great role model for us all.

102. We are so grateful to you for being such a blessing in our lives! You are a treat and a blessing.

103. Congratulations on your birthday to someone who makes every day go by without any bumps and plenty of laughter!

104. Let's take this day to honor you and your excellent leadership!

105. Your leadership stands out! Happy birthday and here's to many more years of fabulous leadership!

106. What does it matter if we don't visit you anymore? It's true! You're the best boss around.

107. What does it matter if we don't visit you anymore? It's true! You're the best boss around.

Funny happy birthday to co-worker

If you work together with unity and uniformity for 8+ hours daily, then you have spent one-third of your life together with your colleague. Your colleague also needs to be congratulated on their birthday with funny happy birthday messages.

108. Throughout your life, I wish you many adventures, heartfelt moments, and many more milestones. Happy Birthday.

109. You make this place tolerable - and that is hard to do! Happy Birthday! Come grab some lunch or drinks soon!

110. A birthday is a reminder that the world is waiting for you to dream, to move forward, to fulfill your dreams. Happy birthday!

111. Congratulations, we're not sure how old you are yet. Only you, God, and Human Resources know your true age.

112. I am honored to work with you, thank you so much for all of your help and guidance, and I wish you a happy birthday.

113. Progress is a matter of faith, unity, and patience. I wish you great success as long as you hold onto these principles. Happy Birthday.

114. Congratulations to my wonderful coworker who celebrates his or her bi-annual birthday today! Good luck and happiness in the years to come!

115. Congratulations to our very special colleague. Wishing you and your family the most abundant blessings and may your life always be filled with joy.

funny happy birthday thank you message

[cherry3point14]

Stranger Than Fanfiction: Ch 9

Series Masterlist

Pairing: Dean x Reader   Warnings: One big boy word. Late stage violence (like, literally the last line). Word count: 3,122.   Chapter Summary: Guess it’s time to meet your maker. A/N: Dun, dun, dun!!!!!

Ao3 if you prefer

Once again, it was Friday. She woke up a little later than usual because she was working from home on the advise of the Winchesters. She noticed that she was running low on body wash while she showered and added this to her list. She purposefully picked two odd socks to wear—one pastel pink and one baby blue—because under her jeans nobody would notice. Not that she planned on seeing too many people. The day was full of the usual formalities that she expected out of every single day, which she supposed is why she felt so peaceful. Never would she have suspected that this serenity she had found was the calm before the storm. Never would Y/N have thought that this was the tranquility some people experience on the day before they die.

“Like hell, is it,” you respond to the inside of your car as your foot presses a little harder on the gas pedal. Your speedometer zips past the ‘within 10%’ of the speed limit you’d normally drive at until you’re going 90 in a 70. You are, like she says, calm. You’re a great big blanket of calm even speeding along the interstate. Because you know exactly where you’re going. A little suburb that backs onto Lake Easter in Des Moines.

You’d almost hit the road the day before except by the time you’d street viewed the home you were traveling to, memorized three different routes, and talked yourself in and out of going several times; it was too late. What should have been a good day yesterday—a successful rookie mission and an unexpected kiss—had become all about her. Emma Effiel. You’d looked up her social media and scrolled back as far as a Supernatural convention she’d been to some years ago. You’d read an article in her local paper about a pie baking competition she’d won last summer. The paper hadn’t understood her quote as a reference to some books because they had printed it as is: “Dean loves pie.” They hadn’t even questioned who Dean was. Or the reporter must have asked at the time but she’d pretended to know a Dean.

There is a Dean, obviously. The actual Dean. He’s working. He’d called you before you left to tell you they think they have a lead on the shifter. Another death on the other side of town that fits the pattern. They think they can catch this thing now before the insurance claim is even submitted, and put a stop to this. They also think you’re at home, safe and sound, not driving a hundred and something miles to run a quick errand and save your own life.

If everything goes right by the end of the day there will be one less monster in the world and one less voice in your head.

Although it’s not a voice anymore. It’s Emma. She’s in your head.

You slow down when you take exit 9 onto shorter roads with fewer lanes, slowing down is a necessity to not kill yourself on the way to saving yourself. Eventually, you’re chugging along two-lane roads amongst other people going about their lives. A few red lights, some traffic, and then you’re turning onto her road and parking on the street outside her house.

You didn’t know she was home, technically, but there’s a truck in front of her garage. The bumper sticker says ‘driver picks the music, shotgun shuts their cakehole’ and you figure it’s a pretty safe bet that she’s inside.

Driving is easy but there’s a lump in your throat when it comes to actually walking to her front door. You’ve been walking since you were 11 months old. This is the hardest it’s ever been to move one foot in front of the other.

Her door is whitewashed wood with a window in the middle. You notice doors because you stand in front of so many, this one just makes you wonder if she’ll recognize you through the glass. If you look how she imagined, or if her brain will be able to even leap to something as crazy as you existing.

She has a doorbell so you press the small rubber button with a lone shaky finger. You hear a classic ding dong reverberate inside her home, although dulled by the walls.

She doesn’t take long to answer the door and once she does you’re paralyzed.

“Hello?”

Even with that one word, it’s her. You’ve heard a thousand or more words in that same vaguely midwestern accent. The interesting thing is actually hearing it outside of your head. Usually, she’s amplified, echoing, taking up the whole of your brain. In front of you, she’s so, to use her own phrase, achingly normal.

“Are you selling something? Because I’m sorry but I’m not interested.”

The door in her hand moves an inch and that triggers you, the thought of this door closing.

“Hi, my name is Y/N Y/L/N, I believe you’re writing a story about me.” You hadn’t planned what to say, you’d been more concerned with getting here, although you suppose that’s not a bad place to start.

She narrows her eyes at you but the corners of her lips curl slightly, caught in surprise and thinking it’s a prank. “Did-Did someone put you up to this? Is this a joke?”

“No-one put me up to this. My name is Y/N and you’re writing a story about me, or about killing me I guess. I’m an insurance adjuster with a crappy car and I drink tea instead of coffee. Yesterday I visited a bank with Dean Winchester. Oh and there’s this.” You lean down and pull the hem of your jeans above your ankles, enough to show her your mismatched socks. One pale pink and one baby blue.

She looks between the two strips of fabric peeking out of your shoes. Her bottom lip trembles and her chest shudders to a stop. And then, when she brings her line of sight back up to your face, she faints.

It happens quickly. One minute she's standing there and the next she's collapsed on the floor like a rag doll. The only thing you can think of is what if someone sees this, so logically you do the only thing you can, you step inside and around her. She's only out for a few seconds, she's opening her eyes by the time you click the door closed.

You go through it again. She's woken up half groggy, half scared, and still questioning who you were. With the addition of now asking why you were inside her home.

The thing is, she knows it's you. That's why she'd fainted. Each time she asks is only confirming the obvious fact. It takes a few minutes but eventually, she admits it out loud. She knows you are who you claim to be, and she knows because an image of you was inside her head. You’d laughed at that, almost certain that she didn’t mean it in quite the same way as you've had to deal with. But that was a whole new can of worms that you hadn’t covered yet.

“How did you find me?” She’s got her legs tucked into her chest and her hands wrapped around a heavy glass filled with some amber colored alcohol. Possibly bourbon but you weren’t going to question her, even if it's still eleven in the morning. She’d made you a tea and although you hadn’t told her, she’d made it exactly how you liked it.

“That, well, wasn’t me actually. I have a friend, Stan, he’s done some work for me before. I asked him to try and find you. I didn’t know if he would manage it, I only had your blog to go on.”

Another gulp of her drink. “My blog? You-you’ve read my blog?”

“Yes. I’ve read it.” You state the fact as simply as possible in short, sharp sentences. She is struggling to some things still by now you’re used to a little crazy.

“But you said you hear-hear me writing it? Did you hear me writing earlier?”

“When you casually mentioned that I die tomorrow? Yes. I don’t hear, God, not all of it. I don’t know why…” you let out this laugh, all strangled and broken. It’s a laugh but you are not happy. The bitterness you’ve buried deep down comes crawling out of your throat. “I don’t know why I hear you at all! I don’t hear all of it though. And there are things I didn’t do, like-like I didn’t sleep with Dean.”

There’s something that looks like relief on her face, which she explains when you pointedly stare at her, “oh I wouldn’t have felt good about forcing you to…you know.”

“You’re planning on killing me.” You deadpan.

She looks like she has no idea what to say to that and you have a thousand things to say, that's kind of why you did the drive, so you continue. “Don’t get me wrong, I kissed him and I think I like him but how do I know when I can hear you? You’re in my head whenever he’s around telling me what I’m feeling and what I’m thinking and… how do I know what’s real and what's your imagination?”

Emma is staring at the melting ice cube in her almost empty glass like she hasn’t heard a word you said, lost in her disbelief. You let her stare. You're trying to be patient, you can appreciate that you’d had a lot longer to get used to this than she had.

“I can’t believe you’re here. I can’t believe you’re sitting there in front of me, drinking my tea. Talking about my story like it’s…”

“Real?”

She nods, afraid of what might come out of her mouth if she opens it again.

You take a sip of your tea. “Now you know how I felt when I read Supernatural and then Sam and Dean showed up.”

“Wait, you’ve read Supernatural?”

“You didn’t know?”

She shakes her head and you realize that she’d never mentioned it. Your imminent death sure, but she’d never mentioned the books you read and how disarming it had been to meet the characters from them. Only that it was disarming to find out monsters existed at all.

“Fuck, that means Sam and Dean are?”

You manage to smile at that and the idea of her finding your existence to be more impressive than theirs. Even with her bumper sticker. “Yeah, they’re real too. They’re hunting the shifter literally as we speak.”

She creases her brow, “they’re not? They didn’t want to come here?” She must be thinking back to Chuck, to the story of the writer in the book, and how Sam and Dean couldn’t help but investigate.

“I didn’t tell them about you. I mean, I kind of thought I was going crazy at first. Even when you were right about everything I only thought you were right because you were a figment of my imagination, or like, a tumor. I only realized you were,” you wave a hand in her direction, tired of saying the word ‘real’ again, “when I found the story. It’s good, by the way. The story I mean. I read a lot of books, I guess you already knew that, and this is up there. That’s not biased because it’s about me. I thought it would have been weird but actually it was nice to see my life through your eyes. You made me more important.”

Emma nods somehow understanding even if she has no clue, “I can’t believe you read it. Although if we’re playing the game of what I can’t believe the most, it’s definitely still sitting here talking to you.”

Your mind goes back to that part of the story you hadn’t heard but you’d read on your phone. The paragraph had stuck in your head when you read it and in the days since it repeats at particularly quiet moments.

Y/N had never considered herself the main character, not even in her own life. Main characters, those in the books she read, were always so interesting. A tragic past or a troubled present and the perfect amount of development for an interesting future. These characters kept her reading in bed till three in the morning because she needed to know how they would handle their next danger or heartbreak. Or how would that particularly brilliant one figure out who the murderer was with nothing to go on. Main characters could be anything or anyone and next to them Y/N felt so helplessly ordinary. She woke up five days a week and went to her job, she paid her bills on time and went for groceries on Sunday mornings. She always thought she was a supporting character, black and white in a world of color.

She was, of course, absolutely irrefutably wrong.

You hadn’t believed it, a part of you still didn’t believe it now, but that was before you saw the way Emma looked at you. Granted she was the person who wrote it, and yet it was still there in her eyes. Awe. Past the shock and disbelief, this woman was in awe of sitting in a room with her main character. And you remember how you felt reading the story, how much you’d wanted to know what happens. Not only because you wanted to know how you were going to die but because in her story you really were the leading lady. Sam and Dean, the characters you’d poured yourself over in the books, were playing second string to your story arc. You remember how beautiful her words had been and by association, how beautiful you’d been.

That's when you decide to ask the question. The one that you've lost sleep thinking about, the one that you came all this way to ask. Except as it comes tumbling out of your mouth you're not quite cautionary. You're eager to find out.

“How is it going to end?” 

Your house is quiet when you arrive home. It’s barely dark outside but you’ve driven for more hours than you’re used to. Exhausted does not come close describing how you feel. It’s more than a physical exhaustion—although your back is definitely mad at you—after you’d spent hours talking to Emma you’re mentally ready to check out.

Not check out of life, although, in the end, you’d left that decision up to her.

She let you read where she was up to, which was about ready to finish the penultimate chapter. Then she’d mentioned she’d have to revise it now. Even though it was perfect. Even though you found yourself smiling at the screen because it was that perfect.

In all the work to find her, you never stopped to consider that maybe you shouldn’t find her. You weren’t ready to die but you’re finding it hard to decide if you’d get a better-written death than the one written by Emma Effiel.

Yes, that’s an absolutely crazy thing to think and Emma had told you it was crazy when you’d dare to say it to her. And it is crazy. In the end, you'd argued with yourself while storming around her coffee table, making cases for both endings and neither endings.

There was a reason you'd left this decision up to her. You couldn't make it.

If she killed you then at least you’d live forever in literature, and if she didn’t, at least you might get some peace and quiet. Although, if she does kill you, you told her to find a book publisher already so it would at least be worth it.

You should eat but after weeks of a thousand reasons to not sleep your bed is finally calling you. Which is why your phone rings.

“Dean?”

“You want the good news or the bad news?” He sounds more tired than you, not that it's a competition. He's just winning anyway.

You kick your shoes off, “there’s good news?”

A pause that could be a shoddy connection. “Alright, you got me. The bad news ain’t so bad though. The lead was a bust, the guy had been wormfood for weeks but it's not the end of the world. We'll find it."

There's a knock at your door, "thanks for letting me know. Listen, I've gotta go, someones here and then I am going to sleep for a really long time. Talk tomorrow?”

"Someone's there?" You wonder if he's always so nosy. You don’t remember that in the books.

Pushing yourself against the door, you check the peephole, "it's only Laura, she’s probably dropping off some new case for me or something. I am still supposed to be working remember."

Dean must hear how calm you are at your friend showing up because he sighs all relieved down the other end of the phone and Laura knocks again. "Sorry, I really have to go. I'll call you tomorrow Dean."

There's some muttering with someone else and then a faint, "sure," as you hang up. Not that it matters. You could see Dean tomorrow, you hoped to see him tomorrow. In case it does end up as your last day on earth.

Laura grins when you open up, "Hi Y/N. Had something to stop by and bring you."

"And there I was thinking that you missed me.” You feign hurt in your voice. “It’s fine I've got some paperwork anyway, think you could take it in on Monday for me?"

She follows you inside and the last thing you hear is the lock close and, "sure thing. Perfect actually."

You turn back to Laura with a small stack of forms from the bank in your hands. That’s when she rams the butt of her gun, a gun you hadn't seen, against the side of your head.

Continue to the Final Chapter. 

5eva tags: @divadinag​​​ @darthdeziewok​​ @fluentinfiction​​ @witch-of-letters​​ @supernatural-teamfreewill-blog​​ @magnitude101999​​ @alexwinchester23​​   Dean babes: @thewinchesterchronicles​​ @akshi8278​​​ @bloodydaydreamer​ StrangerThanFiction tags: @jaylarkson @starsandmidnightblue​​​ @ceisbill​​​

[thegirlwholied]

ten faves

Rules: name ten favorite characters from ten different things (tv, movies, books, etc.). 

Thanks for tagging me @bibliophileiz ; exactly the sort of distraction I both needed (and that my current concentration-level is capable of) at the moment! Hard choices ~ especially as many of my favorites come in pairs! ~ but my top ten today...

...after draft error #97 or so, sorry in advance for the scroll, and for anyone else who winds up responding, do not draft on your phone take my word for it... 

Princess Bride: Inigo Montoya

Which character don't I love in Princess Bride? Even Humperdink is such a pitch-perfect villain. But while I'd choose Westley if I was picking a date... Inigo's the one who captures me, every time. It's not the desire for revenge itself that's compelling; it's the love for his father - the heartbreak, the dedication, even the defeat and the rise again (the "you told me to go back to the beginning scene" comes to mind as one that stays with me and is probably a huge influence on things I think of but haven't really written yet...)

Harry Potter: Sirius Black

Yes, that's a gif of Midnight Mark from Pirate Radio, because I very much mean the book version (sorry, Gary Oldman!). Is anyone following me surprised by this one?

I'm so fascinated by all of the Marauder era characters, both as they are on the page and the hinted-at aspects of them explored in fandom; love Lily/James... but Sirius is the Harry Potter character I think of first (honorable mention to non-HP Edmond Dantès, as I love Count of Monte Cristo and think much of Sirius' plotline owes that a clear debt). Aside from being a tragedy, aside from all his great lines, what a *fascinating* character and twist, in a way, on the fairy godmother plot in his first book 3 appearance (getting Harry the Firebolt, his permission slip, etc). I could say SO much more but will avoid writing an essay.

Smallville/Superman comics/adaptations: Lois Lane

Always a favorite character for me, but Erica Durance in Smallville is my favorite version. I feel like they gave her a bit of Marian Ravenwood (specifically in the outdrinking the frat boys scene) and leaned into the modern comics "army brat" angle so well.

Anne of Green Gables: Anne Shirley.

With honorable mentions to of course Jo March, other fellow aspiring writer Emily of New Moon, and Pippi Longstocking, other fun redhead of my childhood reading... Anne, and all her drama and dreams and mishaps, wins out as most relatable for me. Book heroine of my heart.

Speaking of childhood book heroines...

Star Wars: Jaina Solo.

Look, this is partly to save me between picking a favorite between Leia and Han (a dilemma which has haunted me since childhood, in part because, guiltily, it's Han), and serious honorable mentions to Mara Jade and especially Jyn Erso here... but Jaina was *everything* I wanted in a heroine as a girl. We're talking about the Young Jedi Knights series here... though I actually started with Junior Jedi Knights featuring Anakin Solo (oh Anakin Solo 💙💔)... going into the New Jedi Order, as I stopped following the EU so passionately around there.

Jaina, who is brash and so her father's daughter but has a harder time seeing she's also her mother's, the Rogue Squadron pilot, the wielder of a purple lightsaber, the mechanic... my inner little girl will never quite forgive the sequels for failing to give me a Solo daughter (sorry, Rey; I still think Daisey Ridley was pitch-perfect Jaina Solo casting... and honestly part of me considers the sequels the "weirdest Jacen & Jaina fan fiction ever" 🤷🏻‍♀️)

BtVS (out of the whole Whedonverse really): Buffy

My other favorites in the show are really also doubles/foils for Buffy: Cordelia Chase & Faith. But the first episode of the show I ever saw was "Anne" and so I've always known I would watch an entire show with just Buffy (... I would also watch an entire show of her friends dealing with her absence, but that's more about *plot* than character). I love the concept alone of Buffy's character - overturning the blonde damsel in distress trope by making her what monsters fear - but I mostly just love her; favorite Chosen One ever. “No weapons, no friends, no hope. Take all that away, and what's left?"/"Me."

...and now it gets very hard, where my early choices were more instinctive and now I keep thinking of others and can't decide. Tempted to make a bracket (I feel like Sirius and Inigo have some crossover, but how could I put them against each other)?

But ("if you had to choose, if you had to choose") to get at some of my other favorite character types and embodiments thereof...

2010-me would never believe I'm going to say this, but: Jaime Lannister.

I'm usually not a villain girl... but of course, he isn't a villain, though he starts out cast in that light. Slightly annoyed I’m picking Game of Thrones (yes, even grouping the books in that, as post Storm of Swords, I remember thinking "this could really benefit from the tightening the show will likely give it" ahahahahahahaha whoops). And yet. Where did that "came for the Starks; stayed for the Lannisters" quote come from? I feel very attacked by it.

"The things I do for love". The boy who wanted to be Arthur Dayne and somewhere along the way became the Smiling Knight. The reveal that he's not (or at least so much MORE than) who he seemed : perhaps not the comparison you'd expect but ah yes that Mr. Darcy twist always does it for me. So much character development (let's not speak of how the show ended, but still). 

The motives, in particular:  I love the Spike backstory reveal in Buffy the Vampire Slayer’s Fool for Love, and in many ways I think Spike and Jaime hit the same note for me. He’s definitely a character that stays with me. Also, he hits that "golden boy" type I also like but in a *very* interesting way (and oh no now mentioning golden boy is making me think of Aron and Cal in East of Eden, I don't have room to even consider them on this list but know I love them both...)

Speaking of golden boys (also I cannot believe this is the only character from a musical I'm choosing, and Eponine’s a character that haunts me too, but...)

Enjolras.

Michael Maguire is not a golden Enjolras but was my introduction to the character and still a (the?) favorite. Love both book & musical Enjolras in different ways. But inspiring idealists with the light of rebellion abalaze in their eyes...? Facing death & despair still waving the flag? Ah yes. Top ten, 10/10.

Favorite detective out of all mysteries really, but especially from the Nancy Drew & Hardy Boys Super Mysteries: Nancy Drew.

An icon. Why is it so hard to have a good Nancy Drew adaptation? (The new TV series lost me with going with actual ghosts - I love my supernatural shows, but I don't need that with Nancy Drew.) Detective characters tend to be some of my favorites; honorable mention to Shawn Spencer from Psych here, but I was reminded in watching that recently (as Maggie Lawson, Jules on Psych, had once played Nancy Drew in a Disney movie! ... that I need to find and rewatch as I remember almost nothing about it) a) how much I love a good mystery and b) that Nancy is the OG.

Speaking of icons... out of all the folklore & mythology I love, it’s clear what character I love best: Robin Hood.

Oh, I love my Arthurian knights, but I love all Robin Hoods more. Trickster heroes, rob-from-the-rich-and-give-to-the-poor-justice, true love... cheeky 1952-movie Robin Hood is my favorite - both favorite Robin and favorite Marian, and their childhood-friends-to-lovers romance is the epitome of that trope for me! - but I also love the fox version...and am very alarmed at the prospect of a CGI remake of that; I'm sorry but that is not live action... and also Errol Flynn! It has to be Robin. If this was a ranked list (it’s not) he’d probably take #1. 

My ten slots won out to other characters, but also I love every Tamora Pierce character and if I had to pick one, it would be Daine Sarrasri, YA fantasy heroine out of all magical girls (and yes over the lady knights; sorry Alanna and Kel; Daine had wolves for friends). Also shout out that I love a LOT of characters named Marian, aside the already-mentioned Maid Marian -- Marian Ravenwood (& Indy!), Marian ‘the Librarian’ Paroo (& Harold Hill!), X-Men’s Rogue (usually named Anna Marie when a name’s revealed, but a Marian in at least one version, & her own thief Gambit)... to quote Thin Man, “You got types?”

I’ve got types. 

If you’re reading this and have types yourself, please @ me them! But tagging, if you’d like, @conniecorleone​ @aliform​ @aurorawest​ @vivacephoenix @justkeeponthegrass