#I mean both produce the same emotional response tho so

[canmom]

so hades 2 huh

it's fun! i am more convinced after actually playing it than i was in the runup to it. the green colour palette looked a little drab in the videos but it works better for me fullscreen in game, and I really like the second zone's design. the major aesthetic change does go a little way towards making this feel like 'new Supergiant game' instead of just a rehash of the first game.

the difficulty floor is higher than the first game. i think it's well-tuned to go into if you've beaten that one. so far i've played 6 runs, seen the first boss in 5, and and beaten her in 2 of them; yet to get more than about halfway through the second zone after that tho!

the new mana mechanic is kinda interesting, lots of tradeoffs to make. it's a bit more granular than the cast in the first game; you use it to do powered up versions of your attacks, and spending it also charges up the Call-equivalent.

i'm increasingly intrigued by the setting, and i really like some of the side characters like arachne. i think the time skip was a good decision - the story of Zagreus et al. was definitely done. the epilogue ending of the first game was way too neat.

still, starting a revenge plot in media res is curious. especially when Nemesis lampshades the lack of personal motivation. compared to Zagreus's very pressing and relatable motivation (run away from my abusive dad), Melinoë's motivation is a little more abstract - this seems to be deliberate. but it does a fair bit to sell the sort of 'desperate resistance base' setting. it definitely seems rather like they're setting up a twist down the line. but it lacks the immediate emotional hook of the overbearing patriarch in the first game. curious to see how it will work once I've seen more of the story.

as far as the new gods, I'm fascinated by the decision to make Hephaestus and Hestia both be Northern - probably Yorkshire. it's always fun hearing regional UK accents in games. they do also both feel like responses to the criticism that Jen Z never designs fat characters lmao. still, they are good designs. both have satisfying mechanics. Selene also has a really good design I think.

the other gods' mechanics have naturally been redesigned to fit the new game. still broadly the same themes, e.g. Zeus will still be lightning based, but different interpretations of what that means, so for example you have 'hitting an enemy produces a lightning blast behind them' as the primary Zeus mechanic instead of chain lightning. which definitely keeps things fresh. Melinoë's kit has a lot of directional attacks and, with the Cast now being an AOE which slows/freezes enemies, there's a lot more emphasis now on positioning enemies to set up AOE attacks which is interesting.

the witch stuff is quite fun in an admittedly slightly cheesy way. it's definitely pull on aesthetic currents which aren't at all Ancient Greek, like the pointed hats. but hey! I can get into it, it's not like the game's aesthetic has ever been all that strictly historical. even if I am still scratching my head at 'so mote it be'. apparently it's an archaic word meaning 'may', i.e. 'may it be so'.

of course the main thing is, the actual moment to moment gameplay is fun. it flows just as the first game did, and it's just as addictive with the way it spreads out story breadcrumbs. the vfx and such look great, the movement is already super tightly tuned (tbf it's basically the same as the first game with the addition of a new 'hold dash to sprint'), and there's a already good variety of enemy mechanics.

there's some obvious placeholders for some of the UI art and character portraits (notably none of the keepsakes have been drawn yet), but overall it's surprisingly polished for an early-access build. all the voice acting is already there - it's fun seeing the Supergiant voice cast return in new roles.

the meta progression element... there's some neat ideas, like an upgrade system with a limited set of slots that very much calls to mind NieR Automata's chip system. so there are some stronger tradeoffs to make; it's not as simple as 'spend resource, get better' as it was in the first game. and it's clearly possible to advance quite far even without a lot of meta resource investment. so far it definitely feels like my main limit is skill, and I'll progress further once I learn more of the enemy patterns and figure out what builds I like to play.

(though I guess the idea with this kind of game is that the power ups quietly boost you and make it feel like you're getting better a lot faster than you are just learning the game lmao)

overall, it's just really fun to have another Supergiant game to sink my teeth into haha. I still wish they'd continued their streak of coming up with new IPs each time, because they'd come up with fantastic settings, but there's plenty of interest here still.

also the more I work in game dev the more I can appreciate just what a ludicrous amount of polish there is in Supergiant's games. I can only imagine the amount of work it must have taken to tune the feel of everything this tight.

[golbrocklovely]

finally, after so long, here is my review of the conjuring series/hell week.

this is EXTREMELY LONG so strap in, grab a drink, and a snack. or, feel free to skip to the end to read my overall thoughts lol

like previous hell weeks, i'm gonna rate each episode and then answer whether or not i would rewatch the episode.

lmk what you guys thought !

episode one:

the obvious meat and potatoes of this whole video was satori and cody's method, which i'm just gonna refer to as The Method just bc it's easier to say then writing out their names over and over again lol

i'll be honest with you, i'm super glad that snc did their best to debunk the tapping and whatnot. i honestly think that if they hadn't tried, a lot of ppl wouldn't believe them at all or would think that either they're lying, or satori and cody are.

as for the answers that satori and cody gave… it's hard. bc on one hand i truly do believe in psychics and mediums. i myself have experienced readings or things i have done on my own. i have had a lot of things happen to me that just logically don't make sense. i do believe there are ppl that have the ability to talk to the dead. but part of me is weary of satori and cody. idk know them from a hole in the wall. they could have easily researched snc, and their past relatives, and just bullshitted the rest. same thing with their producer. it's not hard to look up someone's ancestry. i would like to believe that isn't the case, but you can't be too sure.

the debunking that snc tried did make a strong case for The Method, especially doing it in random locations that they didn't know about. but again… idk. part of me just felt like i was side-eying the whole time. and look, i want to believe that they have good intentions and they are genuinely contacting something. but again, ppl lie for far less.

but no matter if they were lying or not, i 100% believe snc's reaction to it. it was real for them, and that's all that really matters to me tbh.

i felt really bad for sam, or i guess happy for him but sad that he was crying so much. my theory with him has always been that even tho he has experienced attachments and heard things, seen things, all that jazz - i truly think for the longest time he never fully believed. i think he would rather chalk up a paranormal experience as a group psychosis before saying a place was haunted. but since that probably wouldn't bode well for either of them, he just agreed that what they experienced was "crazy" and moved on like nothing happened. also, i have this general feeling that he doesn't believe his own experiences, which is why he questions ppl like colby when he goes thru something, but i haven't really fleshed out why that could be the case. but i think this was his "come to jesus" moment, so to speak. i mean, he explained it himself that he honestly didn't think there was anything after this life. that once you died, you're gone. so this was both great and terrifying news to hear. not to mention, to hear it from your dead grandmother was definitely surprising for sure. i honestly hope this brought him some closure or comfort. bc i know i always felt really sad growing up that my grandparents, literally all of them, never got to see me graduate high school or college or perform on stage. but i always had a feeling that they watched me do all of that so it's nice to hear that for someone else, that was the case.

granted, The Method could just be bullshit to conjure up an emotional response for views and notoriety… but for now, i'm gonna just take it at face value. sure, it's real. i think what also makes me lean towards that is that cody and satori don't charge ppl for this. it only happens at the conjuring for the most part, so…. unless they start becoming a side-show circus act with a big ticket price, i'm just gonna take them at their word. plus, the random locations snc took them to, unless the boys are in on it (which opens up too many cans of worms), The Method wouldn't have been able to work in these spots or actually have satori and cody come up with real ppl that died there.

i will say tho, it was kinda funny that sam's having this emotional breakdown over hearing his grandmom telling him she's watching over him and his siblings, and then colby's getting his great grandfather coming thru to tell him to tell his parents that he's there lol like…. thanks dude i never met. appreciate the love and support.

overall this episode was fine. it wasn't my favorite of the series, but it wasn't a bad way to start the series. this episode did draw me in enough to want to see the rest, but i was also a little weary of what was to come.

(oh yeah i forgot to add that the new owner… something feels deeply off about her. like i can't put my finger on it, but if it comes out years down the line that she was bringing demons into the house or something, i will not be surprised lol)

rating: 3/5

would i rewatch: yeah i guess, but not fully

~~~~~~~~

episode two:

so going into this episode, i was a bit… not excited, since i knew amanda was going to be in the video. i've always had my reservations with her. mostly, i think she has abilities, i just think she talks them up to be something that they aren't. plus she has made some comments in past videos that just make me look at her sideways bc they don't make a lick of fucking sense (ie queen mary, she talked to a ghost that said he had lived other lives before this one, he was just stuck in this one for some reason, and she literally told snc she didn't believe that bc "reincarnation isn't in the bible" …..BRO, you talk to the dead. maybe not everything in a 2000+ year old book that's been translated 150+ times is gonna be accurate. also again, need i remind you, YOU TALK TO DEAD PPL). as for how i felt about her during this episode, she was fine, i guess. the only time she annoyed me was during the estes method where her and sam were just bouncing off one another in the worse way lol but i'll get more into that later.

i think it was really interesting that they interviewed andrea perron. they need to do that more often: find ppl that used to live in these places that they visit and get their story, instead of just listening to tour guides who amp up the scares just bc they need to. i thought her interview was really intriguing and i can only imagine how horrible it must have been to live in that house all the way back then. and to see your mother get thrown across the room?? idk what i would even do as a kid in that moment.

so the first part of the investigation was with amanda, snc, and cody and satori. (side note, i love that the touch toy for the ghost kids is a basset hound). i think this whole first part was kinda funny only bc in my most cynical mind, it's three fake mediums trying to one up each other the whole time lol

i don't fully believe that, but that's what my mind kept going back to.

i do find it odd that amanda couldn't see her past relatives but The Method was able to allow them to talk. idk, if i could see dead ppl, i think i would be a bit pissed if my loved ones were like "nah, i know you got the vision but i ain't showing myself in front of you". it also doesn't really help her case of what her abilities are or how strong they are if she can't even see ppl she actually once knew.

i also find it odd that all loved ones are apparently able to get across is "watching over __" bc both snc and now amanda got that message. again, to me, this just reads as like someone in this scenario is faking something. idk what, but i just remember laughing at this whole part bc it just felt funny to watch each one try to one up the other and then snc are just like :O the whole time.

and what made this top tier comedy to me was sam asking who wrote amanda's name, and them saying it was a spirit. i'm so sorry…. but you gotta be on fucking CRACK to think that happened. i believe in ghost, the paranormal, the whole enchilada………. but a ghost soldier wrote amanda's name in the sand???? no. sorry. that didn't happened. and you cannot tell me it did lmao

honestly in situations like this, i'm more incline to believe equipment than these, respectfully, quack jobs.

i thought it was sweet that colby kept being really nice to abigail and calling her the matriarch of the house. isn't he just a sweet boy lol

the second half of the day 2 was where i got more interested and into the video. the rempod going off constantly, the camera immediately dying, that little cabinet door opening, all of that in like five minutes is crazy. and then the estes method, while interesting, was also deeply annoying since sam and amanda decided to tag team and do the one thing i hate that they try to do during the estes method - connect everything while the words are still coming out. like CALM DOWN. connect later. it was freaky to see the rempod going off in time with their estes method tho.

the woods session was kinda cool. idk how i feel about the alice box yet. why does it only say some words but the others are just on the little text box? whatever i guess. gonna be honest, woods don't really scare me for paranormal reasons. i'm more inclined to believe i'm gonna get my ass eaten by a bear or stabbed by a human so it wasn't really all that creepy, but it was cool to see this half. and then to have snc sleep in the woods… props. but to be in the woods in august in hoodies was a choice i wouldn't make, personally.

day three josh and seth came and thank GOD there were ppl in this series/episode i actually liked that joined them. their half made the video a lot better. so they start off by doing the ritual, which honestly just felt more like (literally) dancing on someone's grave so…. idk about that one. a bit disrespectful if you ask me. colby literally did the ice spice on her grave… boy i would haunt your ass for eternity for that one lmao

hearing andrea perron speak of that fateful night of her mother being possessed, again, my heart breaks for her. whether you believe in the paranormal or not, something traumatic happened to her and her family. and i just feel for her.

so when they moved on into the investigation, i just gotta say, if they plan to use the spirit box, they NEED to invest in a microphone or a better speaker for that thing bc good god i couldn't hear a single thing that was coming thru. but moving past the spirit box, the door to the library just opening on it's own?? and the camera moving slightly?? that's nuts. bc it's one thing for a draft to open a door. you're talking about the middle of august tho. there's not gonna be strong winds (for the most part) during that time of the year unless it's storming. so if a draft blew the door open, it had to have been a HUGE one to literally push a rock out of the way. and it can't be ac bc then that door would be constantly opening.

when they separated, i get why they did, but like… why do you have to do it in the dark? i would be turning on flashlights or some form of light immediately. you're not about to catching me busting my ass on the stairs of a 300+ year old house lol

josh's sleeve moving was actually kinda freaky, ngl. i know it was very subtle, and technically could have just him moving his arm and then feeling the sleeve pull or relax or whatever, but to me… it looked like something pulled it.

then when snc went in alone, i find it funny to think of a spirit just running up and down the stairs, fucking with the rempod or the motion sensor, just to see them freak out. when sam invited whatever it was up to them, and then it got near the motion thing, and colby noped out of there and literally yelled at sam like "why did you invite it up here with us?!" ngl - favorite part of the whole video. also it was kinda cute that snc tried to do The Method on their own. kinda wish it would have worked for them.

colby doing the whole "imagine being andrea perron" speech he gave…. colby, can you not? also, are you good? lol

okay, so my overall thoughts on this episode - dragged in the beginning, but got good half way thru. they also got some really good evidence outside of The Method, which i would rather they not use every episode (but end up doing regardless).

rating: 3.5/5

would i rewatch: sure, but only the second half

~~~~~~~~

episode three

so the previous episode left off with sam going into the basement late at night, almost looking possessed or something. and while i obviously didn't think that, i did want to know why he would go down there alone for some reason.

but that's for a later point in this review. let's get to the collab they did.

larray and bella…….. omg, i'll just be completely honest: i hated this collab. like genuinely, it takes a lot for me to find ppl insufferable, but larray took the cake this time. bella was fine, she seemed nice and did her best. and i love that me and @xplrvibes literally said "oh i bet they're gonna try to say bella is an empath bc she's a girl bc they do that all the time" and WOULDN'T YOU BELIEVE IT 11 minutes in they asked if she was one. i'm just glad she said no lol but back to larray……. first off, that shirt was a choice. and i'll leave it at that. but secondly, i'm okay with ppl joking is scary situations. i'm okay with them having guests that hear them say something insane and then immediately go "yeah fuck no to that, i'm leaving" or some iteration of that joke. but, larray took it too far. i don't think he said anything else other than "i don't want to be here" ect. and i get he was scared, but GOD, SHUT UP. like i got it the first five times you said it, i don't need to hear it the next 24. it literally took for him to get a message from the beyond to get him to be quiet.

i'll be honest, i don't even want to review this half of the video bc it was SUCH a drag. i remember i wasn't even half way thru and i was like… oh you're joking, we're not done yet? bc that's how annoying that whole section was. it wasn't solely larray, but he definitely exacerbated the problem.

the ring of lights that ppl can cross over, idk about that. it feels like it's fake but whatever. bella having a separate phone just for content… i love that for her lol them going into the basement is cut short only for the fact that we KNOW sam went down there first and colby was none the wiser until like two days later. The Method being done for bella and larray was cool i guess. but then sam getting an extremely private message that he couldn't share, i get that. and i hope that whatever message he got was something he needed to hear (but the way he mouthed "oh no" makes me think otherwise). my only issue is why even use any of the footage from that then? i know it's a bit nitpicky, so i'm not gonna press on it too much.

to the fans on tiktok that were saying "omg what if the message was from corey la barrie"….. please seek professional help. this isn't a fanfic. stop thinking like it is. bc i saw MULTIPLE tiktoks saying that.

but continuing on with The Method, i'll be honest with you: i'm not sure what the afterlife is like or what it entails. but it is hard for me to just blindly accept that it's all good and light and love and whatever random other words satori and cody wanted to throw in there that abigail said. i know it's my cynical mind, but hearing shit like that just makes me roll my eyes. like i know that sounds dark and sad, but that whole thing just made me go like "okay… sure."

maybe it's bc it's too generic. like that's what every form of media has said about the other side for forever. if i was able to get my point across and reach a ton of ppl, i would be sending messages like "god is woman and she sucks at beer pong" or "ice cream is free up here but only on tuesdays" or "guess what? i'm hanging out with EVERYONE'S dogs" not just love and light. boooorrrrriiiinnngggg lol

but i will note something that i thought was interesting only bc i've always had a similar thought process: cody says he doesn't know why they're able to do what they do. he believes it might have had something to do with his cancer complications and dying once. and the reason why i can believe that is i've always had this belief - so, as someone who has attempted to end my own life twice, i've come very close to death. and i think ppl that knock on death's door, you can't just unknock. you can't ding dong ditch death. so i kinda feel like those that get very close to the other side cross a line that can't be uncrossed, so to speak. which i think is also why i had the most paranormal experiences when i was going through some dark times (or had just gone thru them).

what i find peculiar is how the narrative of the basement has changed. before it was dark and demented, something evil lurking around each corner, colby having a full blown panic attack down there. all that, right? but now it's "oh it's just a trickster spirit that likes to cause havoc and is for the most part harmless. and also really would rather you be in the woods." and yet even with that knowledge in mind, everyone was still too freaked out. like if they kept getting cryptic and weird messages i would just be like "find a different trick. you don't scare me" or eventually just leave the basement altogether if nothing was going to be happening besides "come to the woods" over and over again.

but bc snc never listen, they went to woods. and again… woods to me aren't scary for paranormal reasons. more so for bears or humans. but they did get some cool evidence at the graveyard.

i'm just gonna skip that whole thing and get to the part that i want, no - NEED, to talk about which is…. colby standing up for himself when sam told him about the basement.

i was genuinely confused as to why snc weren't mentioning sam going into the basement. like i figured, sam went down there, something happened, and then he told colby. or something to that effect. but to find out that a) he had no real plans of posting this into the vid and b) he waited like two days to finally tell colby it happened…. that's really fucked, ngl. the absolute hurt that was on colby's face is so evident, no wonder sam started backpedaling (but just made it all the more worse). like colby has made it abundantly clear time and time again that he doesn't like being left in the dark about where someone is going/doesn't like being left behind and sam did exactly that. not only that, but he then did something that both him and colby swore they would do together - go to the basement. everyone was waiting to see them go together and experience whatever's down there, but sam took that for himself - like colby said. and then sam tried to justify it with "oh nothing really happened, plus we don't have to show fans, plus i really needed to do it bc everything has been so crazy" and it's like………. WHO DO YOU THINK HAS BEEN ON THIS JOURNEY WITH YOU???? it's colby. while colby might have had some form of belief system before all of this, this whole situation has been insane to him as well. so you don't get to use that as an excuse. and then to say that fans don't need to see this footage, that just feels wrong. bc at the end of the day, the person sam hurt was colby. and regardless of whether or not we would have known about it, colby still would have known. and that's the part that sucks. sam was extremely self-centered for making this decision and then thinking colby would just let it slide.

and i know some of you are gonna probably be up my ass about this opinion since god forbid i give criticism towards sam. but i would have done the same thing if the roles were reversed, especially if sam was upset about it. and god knows there wouldn't have been an argument about including those clips in a video, but i digress. i just think it was messed up of sam to do to that to colby. and i hope bts he apologized profusely.

but to be a bit more light hearted about it… colby looks really hot when he's angry or annoyed. so that's nice, i guess lol it's the clenched jaw and the narrowed eyes, in case you didn't know why you found it hot either. also, he was too calm, and that's hot AND scary lol

i think it's funny to think that if they didn't include sam going there by himself and then this confrontation, we would never know why in the next part colby seemed annoyed/angry and ppl probably would have just blamed the spirits or some shit.

which also did happen…

but to bring it back for a second, you know what the scariest part of this video was for me? the tick on colby's leg. GROSS. disgusting. i would have screamed so loud i'd wake the dead lmao

but anyway the estes methods they did in the basement were very revealing and honestly the best part of the episode imo. them realizing, or believing, that dave is actually the trickster spirit and not some soldier following them around was actually really cool to see unravel. and surprisingly this time around sam jumping to conclusion over and over again paid off well. and then when colby was asking the questions, it was interesting to see his reaction to what was being said. him being annoyed at sam before hand really elevated the estes method, funny enough.

maybe it's bc i don't know about trickster spirits and what they are meant to do or whatever, but if i know the spirit i'm talking to is fucking with me, i'm just not gonna talk to it anymore. i'm not gonna give it what it wants, which is to see me scared. and i think snc, without knowing it, were feeding into what dave wanted.

their equipment malfunctioning over and over again was crazy, ngl. but the actual scariest part of the whole vid was who the FUCK was that behind them in the basement coming up the steps??? fuck The Method, now THAT is proof of the other side existing, especially if snc were alone in that house at that point (which assumingly they were).

so this episode was a bit of rollercoaster for me. some parts were just plan bad to me. like i wouldn't even consider rewatching the first half again tbh. it was tedious to do it just to make this review, so that alone deducts this episode a bunch. but the second half, basically everything after The Method where larray and bella's loved ones talked to them, was pretty decent/better. and of course, once snc were alone, the video was at its best. i truly wish snc would just realize that they do so much better and get such better results without other ppl. just the two of them is enough. i truly wanted to like this episode, and i did to some extent, but no offense to larray, his over reactions just soured most of the video for me. he seems like a nice guy, and i didn't mind him the first time around when snc collabed with him, but god… just shut up next time lol

rating: 2.9/5

would i rewatch: only the tail end, tbh…. so no i guess lol

~~~~~~~~

episode four

i'll be honest with yall, i was mixed about how this final episode was gonna play out. part of me was excited to see it, another part of me was like… eh, don't care. but i will say, i was pleasantly surprised with this one. i guess in a weird way it was my favorite of all the episodes, but that's not saying much since none were really my favorite anyway.

niki and george were fantastic. honestly no notes. they didn't talk the entire fucking time, they weren't overly negative, they kept in line with snc's humor and or seriousness. i loved it truly. 10/10.

i completely forgot that kris called them to tell them about a dream she had. her and niki, and celina too… all having dreams about snc. what are they, fans??

i'm joking btw.

i think the dream element can be a bit questionable, but i do also think it's kinda creepy too. even if for argument's sake it's not real and/or is propped up to be something more serious than it is.

the foil house/tent thing they built was…. confusing. but i'm down for them to start using different methods, especially if they end up working or are interesting. they split up and neither really got anything that compelling, but when they played the picture game it was creepy that only colby's pics got fucked with a bit. it's always colby lol

but i gotta ask, didn't they break the first rule of the game which is nothing is supposed to cross over the circle in the middle? bc sam did that by putting the water cup down in it. also, i highly doubt that snc trashed that camera. highkey it's probably in their office rn.

the duel estes method, in theory, is a cool idea. but the execution wasn't really good enough. like sure, they got some answers, i guess. but half of the words were just random. and tying niki and colby together was kinda pointless. snc just love exploring their kinks on camera huh skskks jk

so, i think what was a bit confusing about sam freaking out (before) going into the basement is that did you really think colby wasn't gonna send you down there at some point? he has made a big stink about it since it happened to him. of course sam had to have known this was gonna happen. not to mention, sam's fucking challenge for colby would have literally caused him to get lost in the woods…. so i would say sam got the nicer of the two options.

as for what transpired in the basement, clearly sam was absolutely losing it. whether it was paranormal or not, he was scared out of his fucking mind. and i get it must have been creepy as hell down there. and god knows he lasted longer than i would have. but there is no reason he has to push himself that far to believe there is something more. like is it really worth being permanently scarred just to know if something is down there? not to mention, but whatever is down there, feeds off of havoc and scared energy. and you basically fell into its trap. like, i'm not blaming sam for freaking out. god knows i would be way worse in that situation. but i also wouldn't have been the dumbass who leaves my phone upstairs and has no extra back up light.

also colby is too forgiving bc i would been like "since you love the basement so much, here you go :)" lmaooo

(sidenote, why is colby walking around in only his socks???? ewwwww. do that in your own home, not the conjuring my guy. and another sidenote, does sam's face look swollen in the basement, or is that just the camera being hella zoomed in? idk why he just looks different)

colby giving a whole disclaimer or explanation about why he could leave sam in the basement…. i blame the fandom bc there is no reason for him to being doing all that. sam was literally gonna have him walk alone to the fucking graveyard. sam is fine in the basement. he can leave whenever he wants to. colby ain't a bad guy for giving him a challenge like that.

the walkie dying is so eerily spooky to the og alone conjuring video it's kinda crazy. but, maybe there is just bad reception lol

moving onto the final stretch of the video, the tarot reading. i know snc kinda showed more of the original reading on xplrclub, but if they truly think her first reading was super accurate, i really hope this reading is also just as accurate. snc deserve a lot more positive than negative these next couple months. so i hope that happens for them.

(might have to do a tarot reading on them myself just for funsies)

The Method's last messages… again, idk. imma just say this, to quote beetlejuice the musical "positivity is luxury that few can afford" and i'll just leave me beliefs at that.

i'll be completely honest with yall, idk what the priestess did with snc. the whole thing, the ouija board and exorcism/cleansing was intriguing, don't get me wrong, but idk what the fuck was happening. i kinda just watched it and accepted it at face value bc again, idk anything. it probably would have been for the best if snc explained it a bit better or did something to let us know what was up. i don't really believe everything that the priestess believes, but i do find her interesting enough that i hope she comes back eventually. god knows snc are gonna need another cleansing at some point.

colby going into the woods blindfolded…. is he trying to literally fall off of a bridge? what is with yall using blindfolds and ties? enough of the kinky shit, already.

but as for what happened out there, i think it was an interesting end to the final investigation. i could sort of hear something running up on colby, and i can only imagine how that would have felt in the moment. and who knows what it could have been? my bet is it was an animal, but i also feel like if it was one, it would have kept chasing him. but who knows. i'm just glad he didn't get hurt.

overall, i would say this was my favorite episode. i think it had a lot more high moments than lows, and that alone makes it the best. the collabs were good in this one, they got really cool evidence, and it was just a great way to wrap up this series.

rating: 4/5

would i rewatch: yeah :)

~~~~~~~~

now, onto my thoughts on this whole thing:

so going into this series, i wasn't too excited, as i had mentioned before. i felt as if snc should have taken this year off and came back during hell week if that was something they direly wanted to do. bc a lot of the content that came out this year was just… not good. it wasn't on par with what their calibar is. but i think this series was probably the best thing that came out this year by them. a lot of cool and interesting things happened in this series, and clearly snc's hearts were fully invested in this. there was passion in this series, and that's what a lot of their other videos this year have lacked, imo.

as for The Method and it changing the world….. i love snc, clearly. i deeply care for them. but they truly need to have someone in their camp that's gonna tell them reality. i mean, just as i'm writing this, there are tons of ppl on tiktok and youtube trying to disprove and nitpick apart the series and in particular The Method. but here's how i feel about that: satori and cody could be lying, that's true. they could be faking it somehow. but i don't think that's the takeaway from this series. i've seen how many ppl this brought closure to, how many ppl feel better now knowing there is something else after this life. and that in itself is worth it, even if it's not real. this series wasn't gonna change my mind bc i myself already believed in the paranormal and already believed that there is something more out there. i don't need two random ppl to prove to me i'm right. i already believe that on my own. and in that regard, i know that this series isn't for me. it's for those that needed to hear those words, that needed the confirmation. and for those ppl, i'm happy this gave you that. honest to god. just bc i didn't get that out of this doesn't mean i look down on those that did. if this helped you in any way, that's fantastic and i'm glad. i'm not here to argue whether or not The Method is a lie. idc tbh. snc believe it, and i believe them.

and if it comes out that satori and cody lied, fuck them. but until otherwise proven, i'll believe what they're selling. i'm just… not gonna buy any myself.

but even taking them out of the conjuring equation, snc caught some crazy shit there. of course, a lot of it was amplified by The Method, but i think what they did outside of that was more interesting and compelling than The Method. what i think will be more important is what they now do with the information they know. how are they gonna move forward now knowing what they know? what are they gonna impliment now that they didn't think to use before the conjuring? that's what matters to me.

idk if i got an ask that said this or not (i would have to double check but if i did - hi anon, here's your answer), but i know ppl are asking how snc are gonna top themselves this next year for hell week. personally, i don't think they have to. i think they should go back to what hell week looks like usually: a bunch of different places with different guests, but now more amplified. maybe, crazy concept, do more solo investigations. how about during next year's hell week you just… go alone to all seven places? maybe stop by the conjuring another time? you already proved (for the most part) that there is an afterlife and more beyond this life, why not go back thru your greatest hits with fresh eyes? that's what will make a difference in the content and take it to the next level without you literally contacting a demon or something.

i was pleasantly surprised by this series, and i'm more excited now to see what they do next than i was before, so… mission accomplish lol

[thestupidhelmet]

In response to this post:

that70sshowgoldencouple

Oh we would have SO much fun! 💛

We’d have to keep Kurtwood Smith and Debra Jo Rupp as executive producers tho! Heard they gave lots of input on Red and Kitty and from what I’ve seen, it shows! They know their characters well 😊 imagine getting to collaborate with them on a story for Red/Kitty 😳 I don’t know if I’d be able to speak!

Of course KS and DJR would be EPs. That wouldn’t change. ❤️

But we’d prep you so that you could speak to them (I say as if us being in charge of T9S is actually going to be a thing 😂).

einsteinsugly

What would you change Leia's name to, out of curiosity? And would JH's kid still be named Jay (short for James, perhaps)? Would you push the show into the early 00s, so it makes character sense too?? What would T9S be called, then?

I'd be totally excited for such a verse, that is actually canon. *Coughs loudly* Like mine...

Because it is That ‘90s Show, I’d have to work within that fixed (i.e. unchangeable) framework. I probably would go a bit meta in the first episode and have the characters reference how time moves differently in Point Place (i.e. Point Place Time™).

Eric: It did take me over five years to turn eighteen after I turned seventeen.

Donna: And we once had three Christmases in one year.

Jackie: And I graduated two years after you two did, which makes no sense since I was only a year behind you in school, and I wasn’t held back.

Eric: Time works differently in this town, and you can take the Kid out of Point Place, but not Point Place out of the Kid. And that explains how all of us have children who are fourteen and fifteen!

Jackie: You’re still going with the Kid? I thought you dropped that after everyone made fun of you for it.

Eric: I look exactly the same as I did sixteen years ago. I learned to stop questioning certain things.

---

Eric and Donna’s daughter would not be named Leia. I have a few ideas. One, she would have a name that could be shortened to a gender neutral nickname, which both Donna and Eric think is cool -- and Red and Kitty don’t get. Red and Kitty call her by her full first name while her new friends call her by her shortened one.

Or to continue the tradition of the kids calling each other by their last names, she’d be called Forman anyway. So she’d be named after a feminist icon (Donna’s wish), and Eric chooses her middle name (with the stipulation from Donna that it’s not a Star Wars or comic book name).

Jackie and Hyde’s son (or daughter) would not be named Jay. They would struggle with the naming because their ideas are incompatible. Then they’d be doing something together that’s unrelated to the baby-naming, and the right name would hit them at the same time -- and they’d shout the name at the same time, excited. And it would be a very sweet moment between them, yet again proving how similar they truly are deep down.

---

Because the show is set in 1995, Kurt Cobain’s death would be a reference point for these kids. It was a major traumatic event for teens in ‘94. Maybe one of the kids in particular, for whom Nirvana and Kurt is an emotional touchstone (maybe J/H’s son), would still be dealing with the grief to some degree.

There could be a clash of musical tastes among the kids. The ‘90s had quite a few distinct and significant music scenes going on. I think these kids would be more at odds here than the ones in That ‘70s Show. Jackie’s musical taste was the only real outlier.

---

Sexuality and gender identity would be explored in my version of That ‘90s Show. As I wrote in a previous post, “[w]riting within the limits of how people understood these things in the mid-'90s doesn’t mean writing the show as if those limits are the actual boundary to people’s sexuality and gender identity.”

---

Ultimately, everything would arise from character. Character would drive the plot, which would affect character development, which would affect the plot, etc. The conflicts would be organic to who the characters are, not forced on the characters -- which would mean making them behave OOC so that those conflicts could happen. The jokes, too, would arise from who the characters actually are instead of writing the characters’ behavior to (or for) the joke.

---

All of the above is about writing That ‘90s Show. Not a spinoff that takes place at a more realistic time period for the T7S characters to have had kids. Nor for a future!fic.

[zenosanalytic]

Growing Up is Hard; It’s Hard and Nobody Understands

So I noticed netflix has Neon Genesis Evangelion up last week and started watching it front to back for the first time ever(this happens to have coincided with me being in a down-mood for your edification, dear readers u_u), finished it today, REALLY liked it, and I wanted to try my hand at explaining what the hell is even going on in NGE cuz it actl seemed super-clear to me(a person who has been consuming NGE analysis and post-NGE media for literally 25 years) u_u

Surface Plot; Or NERV: What the Hell Is It?

I’ll try to make this as brief as possible: An organization of super-wealthy individuals calling itself Seele(looking this up, it means soul in german) wants to possess the power of God. The final third or so of the series is clear on this; it’s all about power. Ikari Yui, a geneticist, is recruited by this organization, and her husband Gendo(having taken her name which says a LOT given typical Japanese practice) comes with her. In seeking out this power, they discover a hollow sphere underneath Antarctica(”The White Moon”), send an expedition there under the guise of the UN, encounter an entity with this power which they label an “Angel”, and do SOMETHING which prompts it to explode the continent flooding the earth and killing half the population(that Gendo left beforehand implies this may have been intentional, or that a bad outcome to Seele’s approach was easy to predict, tho in typical Gendo fashion, his is the only ass he cared to save).

Afterwards Seele blame the scientists for this outcome and send Gendo on a salvage mission which recovers both remains of the Angel, now dubbed “Adam”, and a device they dub “the spear of Longinus”. Seele creates Gehirn to study these remains for practical use; they clone “Adam” and dub the result Evas(Eves). Having cloned them, they now need a way to use and control them as the Evas are non-responsive. They hit on the idea of injecting people into them via the Entry Plug system, presumably to act as a brain. The first person to try this, Ikari Yui, was absorbed by the Eva(Unit 01); the second(Soryu Kyoko Zeppelin; Asuka’s mother) was partially psychologically absorbed by Unit 02, psychologically and mentally injured by this, institutionalized, abandoned by her shit USian husband Langley who remarried to her LEAD DOCTOR, and eventual kills herself in a hanging which Asuka either is the first to discover or, given her memories of promising to die with her/begging her not to do it, was present for. An important thing to note about this: Shinji and Asuka’s ability to sync with their Evas comes from the fact that their mothers are PART of their Eva’s identity, and all of their classmates are potential pilot-candidates. The implication here is that Seele KNEW this happened when you put adults into an Angel, and they KEPT DOING IT ANYWAY to create more pilots, but there’s no confirmation of that in series.

After the attempt at human adult control fails, Gendo combines Yui’s DNA with Adam’s and creates Rei. At the same time he is doing this another team, under Akagi Naoko, is developing Magi, a biomechanical computer for simulating the human mind(again: certain implication to this re: Evas though the series never says anything). Naoko is romantically interested in Gendo, and they start getting together(Gendo’s too much of an asshole to be said to date, I think). After Rei, a toddler, tells her Gendo calls her an “old woman” in private, not realizing this is insulting, Naoko kills her, then kills herself out of shame over having MURDERED A CHILD, and Gehirn is folded into a new organization, NERV, which Gendo is put in charge of. Rei forms the basis of the second attempt at controlling the Evas; child-pilots.

How they use Rei for this I’m not exactly sure. It could be because Rei is cloned from Yui(she easily syncs with Unit 01 before Shinji bonds with it completely), or because she’s part Angel via her Adam element(Kaworu says Angels merge with one another easily and naturally), or it could be they did something with Rei I’s corpse and Unit 00(I dont see how as it seems to require a LIVE pilot). Regardless, she is raised to be the pilot for 00, the prototype. MUCH later, when the rest of the Angels finally decide to come looking for Adam, Shinji is called in, and after his success Asuka(who like Rei and unlike Shinji has been training to pilot her whole life) is called to Nerv headquarters(under Japan, in the “Black Moon”; a second spherical hollow where they found another Angel they call Lilith) too.

Regardless the child-pilots are only a step in Nerv and Seele’s plans, as Rei is ALSO the template for the Dummy Plug system, the final step in complete control of Eva units. To put it simply, the Dummy Plugs are Rei-clones without her personality or memories, and will just do whatever the heck they’re ordered to. At least once during the series(and I’d argue two, possibly three times) Rei dies and is replaced by one of these clones through some process, which involves what looks like a pre 00 Eva’s spine and probably a Magi-like backup, which transfers her personality and memories into the new body.

So what is Nerv? Well it’s hard to say EXACTLY because Gendo is in some sort of conflict with Seele(and I want to keep my watches of End of Evangelion out of this post; to focus entirely on JUST NGE itself) and Nerv IS Gendo, but as the series states repeatedly it’s an attempt to control the future of humanity by controlling what they call “the power of god” which, given that it’s what most distinguishes the “Angels”, is the AT, or “Absolute Terror”, Field. What is the AT Field? It’s a field that can make or unmake any kind of matter or energy from basically nothing, and it also seems to have a strong tie to what you could call the Ego; to desires and sense-of-self. An AT Field gets stronger when the person generating it is experiencing powerful emotions; Confidence, sure, but also Fear, Abandonment, the Will to Live, and Anger.

That last bit is very important. Why? Strong AT Field effects require a powerful emotional motivation in the pilot combined with high sync-rates with the Eva(basically a lobotomized Angel-clone) generating the Field. The three pilots we meet, the Strongest candidates, are all exceedingly traumatized people, and Gendo is the direct cause of the trauma of two of them. At no point in the series is Gendo ever a good father to Shinji, he is CONSTANTLY unreasonable, neglectful, and cruel to him; he’s kinder to Rei but at the same time her loneliness, the state of her “home”, and her lack of self worth shows that he rarely interacts with her outside of missions or explains what’s going on beyond bald facts; and he COMPLETELY ignores Asuka, a deeply lonely child with a history of abandonment and close brushes with death; he even delegates bumping her from the program. This point is important because it’s important to recognize that Gendo is a bad dad on PURPOSE; that he instrumentalizes his bad dadness to traumatize Shinji(and Rei and Asuka, though sadly the series doesn’t focus on them enough for us to see much) as much as he can, because he thinks that trauma, that emotional instability and anger, MAKES SHINJI A MORE USEFUL PILOT; ie lets him generate more powerful AT Fields. This is never said clearly, but it’s clearly what’s going on as forcing Unit 01(and thus Shinji) into awful, heartbreaking, life-threatening situations is vital to his plan. Gendo’s a piece of shit, and I want ppl to recognize just HOW BIG a piece of shit he is, because I feel this powerfully.

And for what? For Power. To be “God”. To get the highest numbers. To generate the MOST Invincible Invincibility Shield. For Ridiculous, Absurd, Childish reasons. For, you know, the same reasons rich and powerful people do all the fucked up shit they do in the real world where giant magic robots thankfully DONT exist.

And how do they plan to do this? Through “Human Instrumentation”, which will literally kill everyone by turning them all into goo.

Metaplot; Or “SHINJI! Don’t Get in that Robot!!”

So, maybe this is just because(as said previously) I’ve been reading NGE Analysis and consuming media which NGE heavily inspired for ~25 years, but I think it’s old hat at this point to note that Neon Genesis Evangelion is ALSO an allegory for becoming an adult, centered on Shinji. However, it’s just really SO on the nose in this, so PERFECT as such a narrative, that I want to run through it real quick. Also: A Cruel Angel’s Thesis is basically a thesis-statement for this series; please check out the lyrics.

So Shinji is living under the guardianship of a teacher(yup: this series even takes a swing at how our society uses schools to warehouse kids so their parents can waste their lives producing “Value” instead of raising them), when the shitty dad that abandoned him decides he has a use for him after all and calls him up.

On meeting with a child he has not seen SINCE HE WAS A TODDLER LITERALLY ABANDONED HIM ON THE STREET WHEN HIS MOTHER DIED he immediately ambushes him with the command that he get in a huge body(that he grow up) to do what? Whatever Gendo tells him to, but specifically: commit acts of violence for Gendo and Seele’s profit. He tells him this will protect people; meanwhile doing it destroys those peoples’ literal homes. The rest of the series is a series of monotonous, incomprehensible “Tests” judging his, and his peers, worthiness for approval and affection on the basis of how well they can use those giant bodies to do what Gendo tells them(so: capitalist work), punctuated by unpredictable, brutal, traumatizing, and physically dangerous events(so: capitalist work). Every friend, and the one lover, he meets, he is placed in unnecessary, destructive competition with and, when they are male, forced to attack and(in the case of the one lover, Kaworu) kill them; this last comment on homophobia is so stark and obvs I don’t even feel like you can CALL it subtext, even IF it plays out over mostly a single episode(honestly this plotline should have been given more time). And all the time they’re doing this, they must ALSO continue going to school and maintaining the front that they’re happy smiley Heroes, completely normal and not traumatized at all, and Nerv and the government that lets them run this city is a great and wonderful organization. Is this not what becoming an adult, over your teens and 20s, feels like?

And then there’s Seele and Nerv. Able to move state governments as they wish, Seele CAUSED Second Impact(Global Warming). By not returning Adam’s remains, they’re CAUSING the Angel attacks on Nerv meant to retrieve them(the threat of Human extinction). The Angels eventually begin trying to communicate and Nerv’s response? Destroy them before they can; blow up the Evas(and their pilots) if they succeed. And to top it all off Seele and Nerv are actually trying to CAUSE the very extinction(Third Impact) they claim to be preventing! Seele and Nerv are just SUCH good metaphors for capitalism in our modern day.

The transwoman reading of Shinji also seems pretty dang strong to me, though I’ll only deal with it shallowly. Shinji is the only “male” of all the pilots. Outside of command and security, most Nerv staff are women. Being an Eva pilot, being Nerv staff, is marked as “feminine”, and Shinji is an Eva pilot; is a Nerv staffer. The body he gets into, Unit 01, acts as a metaphor for the large, imposing, masculine body he’s expected to have as an adult “man”, yet it’s also spiritually his mom -feminine- and his ability to use it is tied DIRECTLY with his ability to “Sync” with that spirit; with his ease and comfort being feminine. Even at the level of mere aesthetics, Shinji’s plugsuit makes him appear to have breasts! Going a bit deeper, he initially relates to the women around him by relating to their gender. He’s most at ease with Rei because of the personality traits she shares with him which, we know from his gender-policing of Misato from earlier in the series, are traits he considers feminine(ie: he doesn’t feel like Misato has them, so he thinks she’s being a woman “wrong” and gets oddly offended by this in a way that really feels more about him than her). Asuka is constantly expressing her frustration with him for not “being a man”, ie, for being “feminine” in her eyes, and he isn’t really bothered by it(her calling him an idiot seems to stick much more firmly). Misato and Shinji establish a modus vevendi when she accepts him as he is, allowing him to do the household chores and to cook; he’s comfortable and happy when accepted into roles his culture considers feminine, while most of the series is him bucking AGAINST the masculinity forced on him by Nerv, his father, and others. Again: this is a very surface-level engagement with the subject, but even at that shallow level I feel like the case for reading Shinji as a transwoman is pretty solid.

Dislikes

It’s not a perfect series by any means of course.

There’s allot of dialogue that’s pure 90s nonsense, though the series mostly includes it only to shoot it down.

Like I said above, I don’t think Rei and Asuka really get the time or attention they deserve. In general the series treatment of women is ...Weird... especially around the issue of sex. It’s really strange; in many ways it’s far better than most anime(spcl from that period) on this. Women are ACTUAL PEOPLE with psychology, opinions, and pasts; they’re allowed to have emotions of their own, and struggles, and to be damn competent; they are independent and their own selves rather than accessories or “prizes” to men. But on the issue of feminine sexuality it just gets suddenly so weird in this very particular old-school misogynist way. Like: it treats women’s attraction and reactions TO relationships as something devoid of and impenetrable to reason, without belittling the emotions(the desire and hurt) behind those reactions. That’s the only way I can describe it, and it’s so strange to see something that is both so insulting and sympathetic at once. Oh, and the Akagis in particular are done super-dirty for seemingly no reason I can see, tho I can guess, and Akagi Ritsuki is CLEARLY a lesbian(possibly bi lesbian) and also Rose Lalonde(srsl; her Deal should have been an unrequited, unspoken crush on Misato. They openly dealt with queerness re: Kaworu and Shinji they could have done it here too).

The Kaworu storyline should have been a series of episodes or even developed from the start with him as another pilot(maybe replace Toji with him), though they’d have to tone down his weirdness, at least at the start. A deeper dive on Shinji’s sexuality(honestly his attraction to Kaworu is SO much more immediate and believable than anything we see with him and Asuka, which there is basically nothing of beyond the ep where they had to do choreography for a fight, and that’s not developed on) would have really been appreciated, and having Kaworu be a bigger part of the series would have facilitated that.

Also honestly the whole series feels a bit rushed? Spcl the second half. Like I said: I haven’t done any followup reading lately, but I remember there being some budget problems or something, so maybe that’s the cause. Ironically it might actl also be why it’s as GOOD as it is; having to keep it short forces you to write concise and lean, and that’s probably why its themes and message are so clear. But, I’d have liked more rambling for character development, and more time spent on seeing Rei and Asuka react to the stresses we saw Shinji face(also they never really get moments to shine like he does; another negative common to the medium and genre). Asuka in particular, as a Japanese German with a USian temperament abandoned by her parents, already an outsider in SO many ways, coming to live in an entirely different culture where she’s even MORE of an outsider; forced to live with people(Misato and Shinji) she finds it impossible to relate to or connect with; who has literally NO ONE beside a single adult guardian who totally blows her off THE WHOLE SERIES after delivering her; PLUS her awful past: there’s just SO MUCH material I’d have loved to see explored more slowly and with greater depth, detail, and sympathy even if what IS there already is pretty powerful and effecting. She’s SUCH a good Vriska(so I’d also have loved to see her break more shit too >:>)

Conclusion

So Anyway: I really liked this series. It had its problems, there are things I’d have liked to see, but it absolutely deserves the reputation it has. I might write more about this, I might do a watch through INCLUDING End of Evangelion(which actl makes much more sense having watched the series, though having done so makes Shinji’s masturbation scene comPLETELY out of left-field like where the hell did THAT come from); we’ll see.

[whetstonefires]

Hi Whetstonefire. I have a question about the comic where Nightwing cheats on Starfire with Barbara: What happens directly after that? Does Starfire find out that Nightwing cheated on her? And, if so, how does she react? I've read online that (according to Marv Wolfman) Starfire is the opposite of everything Batman taught Nightwing to be and that Batman taught Nightwing to be repressed and cold. What did Nightwing contribute (emotionally) to the relationship between him and Starfire? (Cont.)

(Cont.) From what I can tell, from online, Nightwing was adamant about standards of mercy and monogamy - how do you think, if Starfire were to be written as her own character and not written around Nightwing and his emotional needs, she would handle and react to that? (This bit is an FYI for other readers: this is just speculation, not hate. Sorry about that.) Sorry about the questions! Have a nice day! 

Okay there are so many separate questions packed in here! I may miss some of them lol and I do not want to put in the hours it would take to produce an orderly response to all this, so this post is going to be a mess.

Initial query and important point: the cheating story was out of continuity. Like, literally, not just by ‘being rejected by the fanbase,’ it was just this weird retcon oneshot that seems to have been some sort of fuck-you to Nightwing or his fans or something. So no, it had no in-setting fallout lol. It, in more ways than most comics, didn't exactly happen.

It was just this weird thing where Dick hooks up with Babs before giving her a wedding invitation, which is both out of character for him in general and out of step with where he was leading up to the wedding--he was desperate to get married so they could have some Normal Stable Adulthood Happiness; the choice to recharacterize him as a fuckboy who regards it as a loss of freedom isn’t congruent, on much more than the level of principle.

As far as how Kori would feel about it, if she had learned...that is very hard to say. Apart from how it would require her to reinterpret everything about where their relationship stood at that point, the data is very unclear, and I don’t even have all of it. Gonna back up to cover some of the rest of the ask, get some context here.

So this actually brings up two of my biggest gripes with Wolfman’s NTT--weird Kori characterization and the weirdly negative interpretation of Batman as parent that backwashed heavily into other titles and influenced the character for the worse, in ways we're very much still dealing with today. 😩

The latter is pretty self-explanatory, though Wolfman’s take that the main thing Bruce taught Dick was repression does shed light on some writing choices and make others funnier. But Kori. Oh my lands.

So, item one, I wouldn't say that Kori is overall opposite Bruce, or even of his philosophy? There are just some very major points of opposition. She isn’t emotionally buttoned-down like at all, especially about positive feelings, although considered realistically with all the bullshit they’ve piled into her backstory she absolutely leans on repression to cope and stay positive, which makes her a lot like Dick actually.

To an extent, she was clearly written around foiling Dick’s Batman-derived traits in the same way that Robin was written to foil Batman, bright and glad and aerial. A Flamebird to his Nightwing in theme if not in name.

You could do some interesting stuff with that, and the bildungsroman aspects of this period of Dick’s life, like he has two roads forward in terms of how he’s going to define ‘adulthood’--does it necessarily require becoming more like his mentor-father, for good and ill, or can he make Kori in part a destination, as it were, and create an adult self that is derived from who he has always been as well as the man he’s modeled himself after?

To an extent I think this even was one of the things going on in ntt but like. Only a little bit.

(Given how much like Bruce Babs is in most of the ways Kori isn’t, especially once she’s Oracle, you could make a case for her as love interest being like. Symbolic of his not being in a rebellious phase? That gets weird and oedipal really fast tho lol.)

Okay stepping down one meta level lol, the thing about answering the 'what would kori' question here is that her character is deeply bound up in her culture, about which we are told and shown a great many contradictory things. Any attempt to read her as an independent character has to tackle not only the gender stuff you allude to and these inconsistencies, but how much of the sheer mess of her is rooted in racism.

'Fantastic' racism, technically, because Tamaraneans aren't real, but the 'taming the savage' narrative that kept surfacing between them and the language used in reference to it is just. The existing racism of presumably the writers, placed in Dick's mouth, and it's super gross. I hate it so much.

(I had a faint hope when they cast her for live action it was with a deliberate intent to directly tackle and better that history, but lollllllll nah. At least they didn’t double down in it tho! Can you imagine, with a black actress, in this day and age....)

So to predict and comprehend Kori, you have to make a lot of calls about Tamaran as a civilization. I like to slightly privilege stuff established earlier if there's no good reason not to, so while much is made over time of her inappropriate rage and the violence she was raised to normalize, I think what she says in her first appearance is good to keep in mind: in her culture, kindness is for friends and cruelty is for enemies. She doesn't understand why the Titans seem to have this backwards.

Kori is not a merciless person. She’s very empathetic, as a rule. With people she loves, she is self-destructively forgiving. That's not a trait only Dick benefits from--her family keeps betraying her in new exciting ways, and she keeps letting them.

Her arc of growing away from that habit is however greatly crippled by centering Dick in the narrative and by the awful 'civilizing' overtones that keep coming into it. When she comes back after the 1986 breakup, still married to Karras, she brings with her a commitment to doing things the Earth way--to eschew lethal force as more than a compromise with her friends’ values, but as a deliberate choice.

This deserved a lot more space and time than it got, and the fact that it didn’t get it is only somewhat due to her being subordinated to Dick and to general writing fail; a lot of it’s just the team book problems of everything happening to everybody all at once.

I mean, Dick’s journey later on to deciding he loves her enough to date her even though she’s married and it’s technically against his principles was packed into this absolutely heinous issue where he was inspired by a woman refusing to separate from her husband who’d just threatened to kill her and their kid with a knife, until being stopped by Nightwing. Because he’s apologizing for what he did.

This is his inspiration for accepting Kori’s marital status! It’s supposed to be heartwarming, as far as I can tell! Not heavyhanded messaging that this is a self-destructive terrible choice in which Kori will inevitably harm him somehow! This issue is pro ‘consensual open relationships under certain circumstances’ and also ‘giving abusers another chance’ as expressions of love. Welcome to the 80s ig.

(Notable is that the wife in this issue was black and the husband and son both looked very white, so it’s probably her stepkid and she probably wouldn’t get to keep him if they separated; this is not even vaguely treated as a factor.)

Point is, everyone was getting too little space to actually go through the amount of development they were getting, and it was clumsily handled; it’s not just her.

In an overlapping period Gar processed his issues with his adoptive father with whom he constantly fought and their shared trauma over the rest of their family (the Doom Patrol) having died violently not long ago via a batshit several-issue storyline where Mento went crazy, created supermutants, and abusively mind-controlled them to attack the Titans. It is literally all like this.

Back to the infidelity thing, now. So much to unpack. So like I mentioned above, their first big breakup, while partially driven by Dick’s existing conflicted feelings about their different ideas about things like ‘killing in battle’ and ‘her identity and loyalties being tied up with her home planet,’ is explicitly over different takes on monogamy.

When Dick is breaking up with her, Kori makes it clear she thinks it’s totally reasonable to have both a husband and a love, since Karras also has someone he loves and they’re both fine with it, but the story doesn't really explain how nonmonogamy works on Tamaran, or even if it's practiced outside the context of political marriage. They do do a sort of...soulbond fusion dance...thing, as part of the ceremony, so marriage is definitely serious business. There are so many levels of cultural difference that get poor to no development.

But to return to the weird ooc retcon cheating story: because of this context, no matter what her personal norms are, Dick specifically casually sleeping with someone else would be something for Kori to be mad about, because of the hypocrisy.

Then there’s the Mirage Incident, which I haven’t read through properly and which was very poorly handled by the writers. Kori is upset about Dick having slept with someone impersonating her and there’s a general vibe of this being treated by Dick’s social circle as unfaithfulness even though he was in fact sexually violated by deceit; it famously sucks.

We still don’t learn a lot here about Kori’s ideas about monogamy, from what I have seen, because her focus is mostly on feeling like Dick doesn’t care about her enough or in the right way since he couldn’t tell the difference. Which is an understandable feeling, even if it’s not an appropriate reaction to have at him at this time.

What Nightwing contributed emotionally........hm. This is a mess, honestly; he was all over the map, and not just because of having Brother Blood in his head. I cannot speak definitively on this, it’s too inconsistent.

For most of their relationship, Kori was the more intensely invested one, the one to initiate and the one who was shown at length to be excited to come home at the end of the day to their shared apartment because her boyfriend was there to see and talk to. If we set aside his more egregious white male bullshit, Dick was pretty emotionally available most of the time, though? They were cute.

Since they split up a lot of ink has been spilled making him less into her in retrospect, but he was pretty invested--leaving her coincided with mental breakdowns both times, and it wasn’t even mostly because she was doing his emotional processing for him, because she wasn’t, although it’s fair to say he often fell into using the relationship as an emotional crutch. Kori was definitely doing the same thing though so...it wasn’t the most balanced relationship in fiction history, but apart from slight codependency and the racism, it was decent enough.

She gets more evenhanded development than most superhero love interests, honestly, because she was costarring in a team book. She had her own storylines. She had other friends.

Mostly both of them just needed some space to finish growing up and stop being retraumatized long enough to process some of the existing trauma better, and I think they could have gone on being good for each other for a long time.

[we-always-hit-our-ass]

Dance Freely, Love (Joe Toye x Reader)

a/n- another one of my random ideas, thanks @radiantcade​ for motivating me to do this, what would i do without you??

once again, im procrastinating on the long fanfic by writing shorter ones. oops

Description- You wake up to see a note that your long-time boyfriend has left for you on a drawer. After reading it, it’s contents leave you heartbroken. Time passes by and word gets by of your boyfriend in the hospital. You decide to visit him. Tears and fufilled promises ensue.

Words- 4.9k (i was intending for it to be short but... i got carried away??)

Warnings- angst, angst, angst, but there’s fluff tho 

Angst with happy ending, love those-

btw listen to these songs while reading this:

The End of the Word- https://youtu.be/xHa6a3FtPJg

It’s Been a Long, Long Time- https://youtu.be/iP0tHmoc1rs

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The sun beams peek through the gap of your white curtains, shielding your (E/C) from their brightness. That was what you found strange. 

Usually Joe would wake up earlier than you and he’d open the curtains right after he woke up and got up from your comfy bed. So when you’d open your eyes, the light would just be as gleaming and bright as Joe’s smile. 

Maybe finally he listened to you and decided to give your eyes a rest. You groggily stretched your body, the blankets falling off your shoulders dropping slowly towards your lap. 

Stiff arms raise up and a content groan leaves your lips as you stretch them out. Those tired arms then reach up to rub at your eyes and you feel a yawn creeping by.

You then make your way off the bed, slightly disappointed by the loss of warmth those covers provided you with. After your eyesight was clear, you hobbled your way around the room while putting on your slippers.

You walked up to a small table with a record player, something you and Joe were lucky to have. You pulled out a disc and set the record player up. Soon enough, you and Joe’s favorite music to slow dance to plays. 

It soothed your muscles and you could almost fall asleep again if you tried hard enough. You bopped your head up and down and hummed softly to the melody. There was a slight bounce in your step as the song kept playing and a tiny grin was on your face.

After a few moments of swaying along to the music you noticed the absence of the handsome, dark-haired man you called your boyfriend.

“Joe…”

Your tired, breathy voice rang throughout your shared bedroom, but no voice rang back.

You assumed it might’ve been one of those rare days where Joe went the extra mile to make breakfast. 

But once again, there was no waft of food or smoke reaching your nose.

“...Joe…?” 

The question was asked louder, but no response. The tweeting of the birds felt deafening in the quiet house, and the soothing voice of your lover wasn’t heard at all. You still stood at the foot of your bed, slightly dazed and confused as to where Joe was.

You opened the door to your bedroom and quickly made your way throughout the house to look for him. You fail to see the crisp, white note laying quietly on your dresser and waiting to be read. 

The faint thumping your footsteps echoed throughout the house, and he was nowhere to be found. 

You even went as far to go to the attic(which you absolutely hated going into ever since Joe said that it was haunted). You rushed through each room, opening the door roughly before slamming it back shut once you saw that he wasn’t there.

You sped along, your speed rivaling that of light’s. You even caught yourself lifting up one of the cushions of the sofa.

When you returned to the room you were a panting mess, and you were sure that you checked every inch of the house at least 7 times while calling out his name and telling him to cut the joke.

Your search was futile and you walked groggily up the wooden stairs so you can lie down on your bed. (S/C) hands gingerly turn the doorknob and you amble your way slowly to the comfy bed. 

You heave a sigh as you plop yourself into the mattress, your head nestled between the pillows and the still-tousled blanket. Your head turns and your eyes land on the piece of paper resting flat against the wooden surface of the dresser.

You were suddenly alert and your body shot up in the blink of an eye. You swear that you hadn’t seen this note before. For someone who apparently checked the house from top-to-bottom, you were sure pretty blind.

You put your legs up on the bed, and you leaned over to reach the mysterious note. You leaned back and scooted up until your back was flush against the fluffy pillows. 

The folded paper was opened to reveal the familiar and neat handwriting of your love. Your eyes lit up in recognition. Your eyes skimmed over the word-filled page before actually deciding to read it the ink.

“Dear (Y/N),

I hope you read this letter with a clear mind and heart, for I am truly sorry for doing this to you. (Y/N), I am so sorry for leaving you like this.

 I planned to tell you the night before, but I couldn’t bring myself to break the news after seeing you so happy last night. I couldn’t do that to myself, and especially you. 

Before you can say that I should have told you, please try to understand that this way is the best way. It’s the best option and I think it would also be the one that hurt you the less.

 (Y/N), please know that I have good intentions and that I really don’t mean to bring you harm in any way, shape, or form.

Your tear-stained face would’ve broken me and I am slightly glad that I would not be there to see your reaction. I couldn’t live with that. 

(Y/N), I promise you only a few things:

1. I will return to you, no matter how injured I am.

2. When I do return, the first thing I will do is to scoop you up into my arms.

3. I will give you the best kisses that you’ve ever dreamed of.

4. I will make the best goddamn dinner that has ever existed.

5. We will dance, and dance to that record we always play until the night slowly fades into day, and I promise you, that I still wouldn’t be stopping.

6. I will always, and forever love you.

(Y/N), please know that this would've happened someday, and that again, this is the best option for both of us. After this war, I SWEAR, that I will do everything I put on that list of promises. 

You have my word and heart, (Y/N). I love you. I love you very much…  Please let me see your face when I return.

Love,

Your ever loving boyfriend, Joe”

Streams of salty tears were unknowingly rushing out of your eyes like mini waterfalls. You only started to feel them when you slowly brought your fingers to your face. 

The wet sensation against your fingertips brought you back to reality, and you only started sobbing louder. You talked to him about it, of course, but you just thought…You just thought that maybe, just maybe, he would’ve given you a head’s up.

Of course you knew he was going to fight the war, but not like this. This would be the last thing you expected. Sobs, whimpers, and whispers of his name fell out of your lips. The trembling never stopping.

You quickly put your lip between your teeth to stop any more sounds from coming out, but the action was futile. Your fists clenched the now flimsy piece of paper, crumpling the edges and almost ripping the sides of the papers off.

The sounds of your tears plopping against the paper didn’t bring you back from your tear-filled stupor. The whimpering didn’t stop and you looked down to your lap to read the paper once again, just to make sure that you weren’t, in fact, dreaming.

Your red and already swollen (E/C) eyes glance down at the paper only to see that your tears have smudged and already washed some of the words. The once legible words were  reduced to only a small puddle of black ink. 

The tears in your eyes stopped for a brief moment before they started streaming down your red cheeks and down your throat. A small, wet stain formed at top of your blouse, the never-ending river of your woe soaking it more and more.

You were still as you could be, only light tremors shook your body as you sniffed and whimpered some more. Your throat ached, your mouth was parched, and your eyes lost tears to cry a long time ago.

The aching of your legs made your whole lower body feel numb and you soon felt how sore your face felt. Your fingers begged to be unfurled, the joints already crying out in mercy, but you couldn’t care less. 

Crescent moon shapes were indented against the soft skin of your palm, but you didn’t pay them any mind. Hiccups now filled the air, but you were still glued to that very same spot you had ages ago. 

Your tired body slowly leaned forward until your forehead and wet cheeks touched the cold sheets of your bed.  Soft whimpers were muffled and your hand clutched and pulled the once neat and pristine piece of paper towards your chest. 

Wet ink was transferred onto your blouse, and the damp fabric stuck to your feverish skin without a hitch. Everything hurt. Eyes, nose, throat, back, fingers, thighs, toes, and your heart. 

Oh, especially your heart. It felt like it’s been cut, torn, and smashed into oblivion. Like it was whipped and the wounds had salt poured on them. Then it was burned, chewed up, and run over by 4 dozen cars. Then the whole process repeated again and again.

The pain was agonizing, and you would do anything to make it stop for even just a second. That was all you could focus on. You still didn’t get it. 

Nothing made sense to you at the moment and you had the overwhelming urge to destroy everything around you. To rip that damned piece of paper that brought you this pain in the first place. 

As anger and many more emotions coursed through you, you stopped to look at the piece of paper for the tenth time this hour. Your hardened glare turned into a loving look after your (E/C) eyes looked at the words ‘I love you’.

Tears threatened to burst through your sensitive eyes but your ability to produce tears ran out forever ago. So instead, you raised your fist to pound it against the mattress. 

You tried to let out a scream but no sound came out. The dull sound consumed your head and you stopped shortly. You felt so vulnerable. So utterly helpless without him.

You never even got to say goodbye. To kiss him lovingly, to hug him with all your strength, and to say infinite declarations of love. If you'd known that last night was the final night that you would see him, you would’ve never have let him go and never stopped saying your adoration in his ear.

If you missed him this much already, how were you to act without him for years? How were you to react if he never came back? You forcefully diverted yourself from thinking that, you would be better if you don’t think of that.

Just when you thought you can now fully function, scenes of Joe bleeding out from a shot or shrapnel wound prevented you from doing so. Your parted lips stretched to a frown and you gripped your head between your hands, your fingers digging themselves deep into your scalp.

What have you done to deserve this? Why was this happening to you?

Why you? 

Why Joe?

Painful questions mixed with past memories of happy times between you and Joe swirled around in your head. You thought that focusing on the joyful memories you had together but that made things worse, for they reminded you of the things you will surely miss.

Exhaustion and fatigue glide over you and you start to realize the ache of every muscle in your body. For now, all you desired was to close you red and swollen (E/C) and to float away to dreamland.

You didn’t care if it was only the afternoon, the day’s previous events left you spent and wanting to rest.You prayed that you didn’t have any dreams of him, your fragile heart couldn’t take anymore. It had enough in just a few hours.

Your sore and weak body raised itself up from it’s bent position, some of your backbones cracking at the action. You released a shaky sigh as your back hit the mattress, your throbbing head feeling only just a tiny bit relaxed as it hit the cloud-like pillows. 

The lingering scent of his shampoo and soap on the pillow covers and blankets hugged you tightly, almost suffocating you. It was overwhelming, but you decided to relish one of the few things he actually left behind.

The bedroom blurred around you, black spots appearing in your vision as your eyelids drooped down.You curled up into a fetal position, face almost buried in the pillows. Your nose was clogged and almost silent sniffles were all you could offer.

The faint sound of the record player lulling you to sleep by the second as you let it play its tune.

You clutched the letter in your hand towards your chest like earlier. You were holding on to it like your life depended on it(your life didn’t but your heart sure did).

Before blacking out you wished that maybe this dream would provide temporary comfort, that maybe you’d forget about Joe and his leave. Perhaps, you might get it all of your head in just one sleep. But you knew it didn’t work like that.

Nothing did.

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You really didn’t know how you continued to live your life without Joe by your side. How you missed his jokes, gentle touch, tender kisses, and bone-crushing yet loving hugs throughout the day.

Sometimes you could still hear his voice calling out so sweetly to you. The way your name rolled so right on his tongue. It really drove you wild. On other days, you would open your mouth to respond to him but the reality falls down on you like a pile of bricks. You would hurriedly shut your mouth and a deep frown etches itself on your face.

It’s been years since he left for the army without a word. The only thing he left for you was that letter. The now crumpled piece of paper containing Joe’s words was placed on top of the dresser, where it previously was. 

Even though you couldn’t read the words anymore, you cherished and hated it all at the same time. The day after you cried and sobbed your heart out, you decided to send him letters.

Letters saying how you felt, how life was without him, and letters pleading for him to come back to you. Each letter had bucketfuls of your love and care put into them.

You’d even go as far as to buy the now rare chocolate candies. You saved every penny just to buy a piece. Then you’d carefully wrap them in small squares of parchment paper and taping the ends to make a little make-shift present.

You’d carefully press the paper and tuck it carefully into the envelope, sealing it when you were done.Then your eyes would well up as you held it in your shaking, (S/C) hands. 

Tender kisses were pressed into every surface of the envelope before you’d send it away. You never really got anything back though.  Hours were spent looking outside your window or going out to check your mailbox.

There was nothing, but you never gave up.

So you kept sending him letters, assuring yourself that he’ll reply to at least one of them. You grew tired of waiting, but you were ever so hopeful, thinking that this would be the day he’d respond.

Or maybe the next, or the day after that. Perhaps maybe a week after that one. Wishful thinking never got you anywhere, but it sure helped you in your broken state. 

The clanging sound of the metal mailbox outside your home shutting grew redundant. But you still waited for something. Your cheerful smiles faded by the day and you were again reminded of how he just left you.

It even got to the point where even your neighbors started noticing and taking notice of your melancholy behavior. It has been weeks since you sent out your most recent letter and, once again, no response or word of your boyfriend.

You were completely left in the dark as to how he was doing. At this point, you didn’t even know if he was alive or not. You stopped sending him letters after the 12th or 13th one.  You knew it was a lost cause and you gave up on it.

There would be moments where rage and bitterness bubbled inside you, but that was washed away by feelings of sadness, regret, and guilt. Sometimes you would find yourself crying in the middle of the hallway, but you would have no recollection whatsoever of you tearing up.

The sobbing just found its way to you, no matter what you were doing. You would be fine and the next moment you would clutch your head while seated on the tiled, kitchen floor with your back against the wooden cupboards, the river slowly streaming again.

You thought you could live without him, that you would be better off anyway. You were wrong. Very wrong. How many times have you wailed his name loudly during the night?

How many times have you clutched the ruined letter against your palms and chest? Just how many? Frustration welled within every part of your being and it grew tiring. You hated it.

You hated everything in this situation.

Why couldn’t Joe just tell you ahead of time? Anything would’ve been better than this. You didn’t know how his mind worked when he wrote you that letter, when it said that this was the best way.

It was anything but.

--------------------------

The deep pit of your stomach fell instantaneously when the name of your boyfriend fell from your neighbor’s lips. Your mind was blank, still trying to comprehend their words.

Sputters and incomplete sentences left your mouth as you questioned them for more details. You didn't know how you felt after one of your neighbors had told you the news of Joe being in a hospital.

How come they knew before you did?

Your fists clenched at your sides before they gripped the hem of your skirt, the loose fabric soon feeling uncomfortable in your (S/C) hands. It all felt like a fever dream and you just assumed that none of this was even happening. It couldn’t be.

Wide, (E/C) eyes stared into the distance, not really focusing on the words and presence of your neighbor. A loud voice called out of your name and your dazed eyes and head snapped to your neighbor, a worried expression plastered on their face.

Your feet were glued to the ground and you switched between looking at the ground and your neighbor’s face. The sounds of your heavy breathing were all you could hear. You could see the shadow of your neighbor inching closer towards your still body.

“(Y/N)... Are you alright, dear?”

“I- I’m… I’m fine. Just…” A stagnant pause rang throughout the air, and you were brought back by a steady hand resting on your shoulder.

“Surprised?” Your neighbor completed your thought for you, a questioning and worried tone lacing their voice.

“A little more than that.”

A dry chuckle left your lips as a feeble attempt to loosen the tense atmosphere.  Questions like the ones that appeared on the day he left arose, making an unwelcome cameo in your brain.

The feeling of shock rushed through like a bolt of literal lightning. Fire burned your nerves and you were you looked stupid with your mouth gaping so big.

You had no words except a thanks to your neighbor before rushing back to your house, quickly opening the door and locking it before slowly walking over to the nearest seat.

You fell onto the cushion immediately, leaning forward with your head in the clutches of your hands. You were very relieved. You finally got to know how he was doing. You finally got to know that he was actually alive and not another body resting on the open field.

What you were experiencing was indescribable. It was a mysterious amalgamation of intense and soft emotions, all rolled up into one. But Joe’s alive…That was all you were thankful for.

He’s alive and you were going to pay him a visit.

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So that’s where you found yourself…Standing in front of the pale white door that served as a temporary barrier between you and the man you still loved after all of these years. You fumbled with your skirt, bunching up the fabric in your hands and causing them to wrinkle.

A few good minutes were spent in the hallway as you mouthed the words you were going to say to him. Another couple of minutes were spent mentally preparing yourself. 

You rubbed your temples raw and rubbed your forearms at least 20 times in only just a few seconds.Your knuckles gently yet firmly tapped against the wood, the thumping sound of your skin hitting wood was brief and slightly muffled. 

Your breathing stopped and you definitely knew that your breath was caught in your throat. Seconds felt like forever in this situation and you slowly let your raised arm drop to your sides.  Your body was practically tense and stiff, almost resembling the door in front of you.

“Come in…”

As if time stopped itself, you found yourself staying still once again. Your palms flew to your lips to stop you from crying right then and there. You collected yourself before it all hit you. He sounded so broken… It wasn’t like him at all.

There were no signs of the man you once knew. It reminded you of yourself when you broke down after reading his little note. Who would've known that a tiny piece of paper could ruin your life…

Shaking fingers reached for the brass doorknob and you turned it slowly. Anticipation was everywhere and you opened the door to enter his room. Lo and behold, there he was.

Joe Toye.

You haven’t seen him for four and a half years. It’s been so long since you actually saw him in person. Your (E/C) eyes ran over his body. He still looked the same- Soft and dark locks of hair were the same.

His wide dark brown eyes held surprise and love in them drew you in. His skin was paler than you remember, plus the addition of a few scars and wounds. Your eyes zoomed back to his face, and he looked just as surprised as you. 

“(Y/N)...?”

“Who else would it be, Joe?”

“I don’t get it, why are you here…? All of the sudden and out of the blue…” 

But you could tell that as soon as he saw you, his tone of voice got quieter. More gentle. And more loving.

The soft sounds of your footsteps against the polished wooden floors were loud and replaced the silence that ensued. You sat, the mattress dipping from your weight.

Tears suddenly erupted from your eyes, the feeling already too familiar with you. Joe immediately sprang up to wrap his arms around you. As he sat up, you failed to notice the slight wince he let out. Words left his lips to console you.

“(Y/N)- Babe… It’s alright, i’m here now.”

Sobs wracked your whole body, and you would shake in his embrace.

“Why Joe? Why did you do that to me? It’s been years Joe… Years. Can you believe that.”

Joe ran his hands up and down the small of your back, offering you slight comfort as you wailed words into his neck.

“I- I just couldn’t let myself see your face if I told you… You have to understand that it’d be worse if I actually told you-”

“But it hurt more, Joe… It hurt so much more…” 

The soft rubbing on your back slowed and stopped after a few moments. Joe let your words sink slowly into him, the way you said it embedding itself into his mind, and his brain played it over and over again.

His brown eyes were close to tears, feeling too watery. Joe turns his head to look at your face. How he missed you so. If only he knew how much pain he caused you.

A comfortable silence covered the room, and you two remained in each other’s arms, an occasional sniffle or word would be heard. Joe’s fingers twirled locks of your hair, and regret pooled in his stomach as he imagined your tear-stricken face after reading the letter.

“I’m so sorry… I’m so fucking sorry (Y/N).”

He dove down to bury his face in the side of your neck, his tears leaving a cool feeling against your skin. It was your turn to comfort him, and you wrapped your arms around him tighter, trying to make him feel more secure.

“How could you ever forgive me… How could- How could you ever forgive me for this… For what I did to you..”

“Joe… I already have.”

His shut eyes opened and he pulled away from the tender embrace you both shared. His eyes locked onto yours and his lips parted in shock.

“Why…? After all this?”

“Because I love you, Joe… I love you so much…”

“I love you too, (Y/N).”

Your eyes were still locked, and you could see how his eyes would quickly drift over to your lips. A soft smile blossomed on your face as you sniffled. Your smile fell as you remembered the nurse’s words.

“I heard about what happened, Joe… To your leg… I’m so sorry…”

“(Y/N), hey… I’m fine now remember. I’m alive.”

“But Joe-”

“And don’t apologize… It wasn’t your fault.”

You quieted down, and the comfortable silence took over once again. The sun was slowly setting as you could see from the windows. The mellow atmosphere calmed both you and Joe significantly.

Joe suddenly pulled you against his chest, and he hummed a song into your ear. The familiar tune of your favorite song greeted you, and your eyes lit up in response. Joe rubbed your upper arms slowly as you two swayed slowly to the tune.

You found yourself humming along slowly, your humming complimenting his. The end of the song came and you hummed the final note while looking into his eyes.

“(Y/N)?”

“Mm?”

“Do you still remember those promises I wrote to you?”

“Of course, how could I forget? What about them?”

“I intend on fulfilling at least one today…”

Joe’s eyes scanned and looked deeply into your eyes for approval. You consented with a slight nod of your head and that was all it took for him to kiss you. You have waited for so long, but his kiss made all  of it worth it. The two of you did anything to deepen the kiss just a bit more. It was passionate and so full of want. 

It completely encapsulated what both of you wanted ever since the war started. Fleeting touches exchanged during the kiss were replaced with intense ones. Your fists grabbing at his hair and him doing the same.

One of your hands reaches over to push him more against you and one of his grabs the collar of your blouse to pull you towards him.You were left breathless after the kiss, your hair was slightly disheveled and both of your faces flushed and feeling warm. 

Joe was gasping for air and he couldn’t get enough as your swollen lips were practically calling out to be kissed again. After a few moments of kissing and fond touches, you leaned your head on his broad shoulder, hand stroking his chest.

Your eyes drifted down to his blanket covered lower half and you stared at where his leg used to be. His eyes soften as he catches you looking. Joe’s mouth opens to ask you something but you beat him to it.

"So I guess we're not having that dance, huh?"

That was the first thing that came to your mind. 

There was undoubtedly a hint of sadness as you thought of what could have been. You were slightly disappointed and sad, but you couldn’t have been more glad to have Joe right here with you right now.

Melancholy thoughts were interrupted by Joe’s hearty chuckle. He pulls you into his lap, making you straddle him. Joe’s hands brush any stray hairs in the way of your face and his fingers gently brush a few locks of your (H/C) hair behind your ear.

A soft peck was placed on your lips, and a smile was brought back on your face, a flush also deciding to make an appearance. Joe’s warm eyes examine your features and he places his much bigger hands on your hips to keep you steady.

Another tender peck was felt, now on your cheek. Joe pulls away, his eyes cherishing the very sight of you. Joe flashes you bright, gleaming smile and it was accompanied by a few of his chuckles before he responded.

“Bullshit... Of course we're still having that dance."

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ahhhh im finally finished with one of my fics-

hope you enjoy this one loves 💕💕💕💕

btw loves, its like 1 am here and im woa-

btw sorry for any mistakes i was tired-

[severelynerdysheep]

gaytheiestbandkid

My last response below, because while I respect that you blocked me (though I have no clue why) the fact that you did you after making your own response that I then cant respond to via reblog is a tad iffy. And I at least feel that I should be able to post my own response anywhoo even if I cant do so directly. If not only cause I spent a heck of a time writing this “^^

“ done yet? if you have the idea that there’s a “carnist bias” in my post then you’ve got me all wrong. i wholeheartedly support taking down the animal agriculture industry.”

Well it certainly looks like you don't support the abolishment of the animal ag industry since you pay for it when its possible and practicable to avoid doing so. You literally called the social justice movement dedicated to taking down this industry along with every other form of animal exploitation a “cult” and you make a post filled with lies and misrepresentation about animal agriculture and plant based diets. As well as promoting as supporting the needless consumption of animal flesh/secretions as a “personal choice tho”. If that isn't bias then water isn't wet.

“ by means that actually work rather than putting a band-aid on a gushing arterial wound, by means that people can get on board with rather than moral absolutism.”

Any solution which doesn't include the avoidance of all forms of animal exploitation as far as possible an practicable as the very least that people with moral agency have a moral obligation to do. Any solution which spreads lies an misinformation about the form of injustice attempting to be abolished, any solution which places sole blame on capitalism, which absolutely doesn't work with animal exploitation since is would exists in any system. Is not a solution in any sense of the word.

By your logic its fine to support/inflict violence against women because having the basic requirement that people shouldn't inflict  violence/exploitation absent others as individuals is just a “band aid” for a gushing would in any social justice movement. Instead of holding said people who claim to oppose said injustice while inflicting it accountable as adult in control of their own actions. And yes being opposed to people needlessly exploiting, abusing/torturing and murdering other sentient beings of another species for their own personal pleasure is intrinsically an issue of rights and wrongs. Just like its an issue of rights and wrongs when victims are humans because all victims are sentient. If saying needless violence, exploitation and murder is wrong is moral absolutism. Then I would hope that the vast majority of people would happily sign up to stand on that hill.  

“ and your response to the “buying local” point is clearly emotion-based and disingenuous. the point was clearly about environmental impact, yet you made it about the poow suffewing animaws”

Fist of all, you simply said “the only way to truly have a low-impact diet “ So you could have been talking about either the ethical or environmental impact. Secondly, you seemed to have missed the whole of the part before I talked about the ethics (which is the most important issue, and its simply disgusting that you would joke around about that. Yes they are suffering and people like yourself are responsible) And I will link to the section where I explained why your “buy local” for the environment argument is wrong.

So locality means very little when it comes the the environmental impact of a food, with transport costs being just one small fraction of the overall footprint of a food item as It has been demonstrated that an average of 83% of a food product’s carbon footprint is caused during production. And transportation accounts for only 11% of the product’s greenhouse gas emissions. This means that choosing a plant-based option will always have a far lower impact than even the flesh of locally raised, exploited, abused/tortured and murdered animals, even when it is imported from abroad. Simply put, the idea that “buying local” in in any way comparable to (let alone better than) doing your best to avoid supporting the injustice that is animal agriculture as a consumer when it comes to either envionemtat impact is simply not based on facts.

“i don’t remember saying people should go out of their way to buy meat locally? only that they should buy locally in general if they claim to be making near-zero impact”

I mean in a post dedicated to spreading falsehoods about animal agriculture, I think its pretty safe to assume that you were trying to claim that a diet than including animal flesh/secretions that is entirely locally brought has a lower impact on the environment than a plant based diet which isn't fully local. Which isn't true. I’m happy to be corrected though, if you weren't saying that, and you recognise that even a fully local diet that includes animal flesh/secretions has a much bigger impact than a non local plant based diet.

“ by holding those in power rather than the everyday civilian accountable for massive-scale ecological destruction (telling me the 71% statistic is about fossil fuels in no way undermines the broader point of bringing it up.”

Your specific claim was “100 companies are responsible for over 70% of human-linked carbon emissions; as an everyday civilian, your carbon footprint is very nearly zero compared to that of big corporations, which are the real problem to begin with” This is a complete misunderstanding of the study and absolutely undermines the broader argument that you were trying to make. Since it in no way supports that argument. The study shows that 100 companies produced 71% of the fossil fuels which are then used by other industries and by consumers via their individual actions. 100 companies aren’t causing 71% of emissions, they’re producing 71% of fossil fuels. Those are completely different things. Completely different. Heck, the animal flesh industry (the industry exploded in this study) is responsible for as many GHG emissions as 70 of these companies combined. An industry which is exists entirely due to supply and demand. Individuals carbon footprints are included to make up both those 71% of fossil fuels as well as the GHG emissions from the animal flesh industry, let alone other animal ag/animal exploitation industries.

“ your pound-for-pound examination of food costs is yet another poorly-thought-out point without any nuance. 1) the low pound-for-pound costs of plant based foods are typically attributed to bulk prices and 2) you can’t ignore calorie density. someone unemployed or living paycheck to paycheck can feed themselves for longer on a $5 bag of chicken nuggets than on a bulk purchase of plant-based foods, many of which will go bad within the same time frame anyways.“

Again, this isn't true. I wasn't talking about pound just as in weight, I was talking about pound as in money. So say an average daily intake of 2500 calories is generally the cheapest when it comes to pounds (as in £) worldwide compared to the same amount of calories on a diet that included animal flesh and secretions. Which is one reason why the poorest population subsist on primarily plant based diets. This is because the cheapest items are the staple items such as the rice, pasta, potatoes, beans and lentils, tinned veg/fruit, oats, etc. All of which are staple items which are included in the diet of those who consume animal flesh anyway. For example, people can feed themselves for longer on pasta and tomato sauce, or rice and beans, than a bag of breaded chicken flesh. And the bag of breaded chicken flesh will go of sooner than the former foods. with the former being full meals as opposed to breaded chicken flesh which you would eat with something else.

Sure, bulk buying is a great way to shop if you can, but even if you aren't talking about bulk buying, a plant based diet is still the cheapest worldwide. As I explained in my original response. Not surprising then that double the percent of vegans are in the lowest come bracket compared to middle and higher incomes.

And your original claim was that many people cannot go plant based (or vegan) because vegan products are more expensive than their non vegan counterparts. Never mind that fact that you don't have to eat plant based meats, cheeses, ice cream etc.. of a plant based diet.

But lets use these plant based alternatives to compare to their non vegan counterparts for a sec:

~  At Asda you can buy 8 plant based burgers from their own brand frozen range much cheaper than Asda’s own brand frozen animal flesh burgers. 1.75p for 8 plant based burgers vs 2.00p for only 4 animal flesh burgers. And this is the same for pretty much every UK Food store brand.

~ Let’s look at cheese and look at its costs at Tesco, another popular supermarket. A 200g block of own brand Tesco cheese is exactly the same price as 200g of vegan cheese being sold.

Of course if you include these plant based products it will be more expensive than sticking to the staples, your diet will probably be closer to that of someone who doesn't eat a plant based diet. But if you stick to the staples then yes, its absolutely cheaper. And I did link to lot of sources of more information which it looks like you didn't check out unfortunately.  

!i’m hesitant to bring up this point because it really does get misused by non-vegans a lot, but the industries for plant-based foods aren’t the pinnacle of morality. many plant food industries– including those that vegans partake in far more than non-vegans, subject workers in developing areas to literal slave labor in downright horrible conditions.”

Can you tell me which specific industries vegans take part in more than non vegans which are ethically worse than the non vegan equivalent? Keeping in mind both that no vegan claims to be 100% cruelty free as a consumer, and that the diet of a non vegan includes far more plant crops (and therefore more crop labour/worker exploitation) than a vegans does. Nobody is saying that being vegan is the most you can do, its literally the least you can and should do. Its the baseline, the starting line, the very basic requirements for anyone who claims to have consideration for others. And really, I don't see what this has to do with any of the falsehoods made in the OP? It’s is a pretty big deflection it seems from any of the claims made in the OP.

“ there is no ethical consumption under capitalism. getting hung up on the specifics of what kinds of consumption are/aren’t ethical implies that absolutely everything we eat or use or otherwise consume is a product of exploitation, misses the point, and designates the public as the public enemy rather than the ones running the system.”

Are you trying to use the statement “there's no ethical consumption under capitalism” to justify the individual actions of consumers place all of the blame on capitalism? Because that is completely bananas.

There is no ethical consumption under capitalism.

This fab article by WorkingClass Vegan

A great post on this very site by @mickibuddy here

Quick edit: @mohs-hardness-scale I saw you reblogged my response with a  response of you own, though I can only see the first part of your reply that says “its not my job to provide you with sources. Google exists” since your friend blocked me and deleted almost all notes on their post. I wonder why. But please feel free to repeat your response via reblog of this post So I can have the common curtesy of being able to respond. Or if you don't want a public dialogue my ask box is always open. 

[vroenis]

Mood Dependence

The first tag I drop on the entry is of-course Kentucky Route Zero.

I forget whether I’ve talked about this before so here we are talking about it again some more. While I was playing KRZ and occasionally posting about it on social media, among others, two particular friends responded to me about it and we engaged, having some good discussions on and off. I suggested that playing the game might be highly mood dependent, but that for me engaging in most art is mood dependent, the only thing that varies is to what degree. If I was still more of a wanker, I might suggest that the more artsy-fartsy a product is, the more mood dependent it is but that’s not the case. I very much have to be in the right frame of mind to engage with Marvel or Bravest Warriors as much as Gaspar Noé, it really does depend on the individual and what mood they’re most frequently in or find themselves in at the time.

I find it affects more than the consumption of and engagement with art, tho. I don’t know if it’s a bipolar thing or a human thing and I say that a lot; it affects my ability to write, create, engage with people - enact actions in the world. The only thing I have to brute-force my way thru is of-course my employment which raises particularly interesting capitalistic questions of societal structure. I’m not entirely here to smash the establishment tho - there are times where discipline is useful; on a base level, discipline and the ability to overcome how we feel assists us with survival and sure it’s disgusting to apply that to the nth degree entirely in the ultimate capitalist sense, but again on a base level, being able to hold down a job in an of itself isn’t necessarily evil. Before we go Burning Down The Corporations, I need to make careful distinctions between my mental states and my physical states, as a first example. Minds and bodies are complex systems and understanding them is my responsibility.

Nevertheless I can never stray too far from my iconoclastic nature and Art-capital-A is one of my most primary motivators. There is definitely plenty wrong in the world at large we have created over generations and the societal structures therein regarding how we understand people and psychology and I’m fairly certain we will never address it to our ultimate destruction, that is fairly observable, mundane, and an immense tragedy for literally billions of people who will luck out in the birth lottery or have already done so. Art is the only thing that from a pragmatic perspective is both meaningless and unnecessary and so becomes the most essential and important thing for humanity. We must inject the most meaning and emotion into it possible. It becomes charged with the most powerful intangible things we have; our emotions. This is why bad art must be celebrated and documented. Anger, frustration, humour is just as valuable as everything we think is noble.

It’s also why the struggle to create is very real and perhaps one of the greatest challenges. It’s probably why I pushed myself to write today. Usually I’m cautious about pushing myself to produce, and I want to again be very careful with the language I use being so capitalist, even if only by stating it. It’s hazardous discussing everything in terms of product - I know I mentioned in a previous entry and Capitalism tries to convince you that everything you create is a product and it has no value unless someone is buying it, so a reminder to myself and to you that it’s not what’s happening here. I could frame it as exercise, and I’m now thinking (typing? lol) aloud in that an exercise is effectively an investment - a preparation for ability, capability for the future and again it all sounds quite capitalist, doesn’t it? Do we always do things only with the hope of some kind of profit? A return on investment? Do we evaluate everything only if and when there is a return, at the valuation point, like a board game about speculative stocks? If the board game never concludes because of an unforeseen interruption, do we not name a winner and so the game and the stocks - the product and our labour - never had any value?

Do I write this to answer these questions, or only to ask them, and which has value?

All the philosophy majors will have a lot of angles on what has value or whether there’s any point to value at all as a frame which is great. Value as a phenomena is a whole Thing - we can discuss whether or not I have any intent to create or suggest Value capital V (that’s getting annoying, I know, so that will be the last time) but that will be fairly pointless.

(I made that; you can steal it).

Over the last few entries, I’ve not directly talked about the one monumental current event that’s dominated the attention of world at large. If you note the dates on these entries and you’re visiting from the future, you may have to look up what was happening around now if I haven’t mentioned it explicitly anywhere as I likely won’t. There was one vague reference to it in the Kaossilator post which is as close as I care to get. There are so many other things happening in our lives (J and mine) that I’d say were interruptions, but they’re not really - they’re just life, but they’re the daily challenges that make creating difficult.

It means coming here and writing weekly or bi-weekly, as is my intention, is a challenge. It means turning on all my gear and working on music is a huge challenge. It means watching films and sometimes even YouTube is a challenge. A lot of it it energy dependent, heaps of it is naturally time dependent, but for me a significant portion is mood dependent and my understanding of that is it’s more dimensional than just not feeling like it.

Over dinner a while ago, our family were discussing films released in 2019 and which was my favourite and honestly I think I got around to seeing one. I think the next most recent film I saw in the last 12 months was Hereditary which I enjoyed most, so if I see a film within 24 months of its release these days, I’m doing well. Mostly this is due to time and opportunity, but it’s mostly due to mood; I just don’t want to watch most films, even ones I’m interested in seeing and want to watch. 

Our hosts also asked us what we thought of the place as they’d just recently moved in and were still in the process of moving things around and my perspective was and is that I like subtle - and often not so subtle suggestions of separations of space for application. When I read, I read in specific places. When I create music, I only do it in the studio, tho there are exceptions when I take one or two smaller pieces of gear out of the room as that’s a ton of fun for a refreshing change. When I play games, it’s on the consoles down at the television, the same goes for when I watch films or shows - we don’t have more than one room with TVs in them, and while J can and does watch shows on her iPad in bed, it’s not something I can do. For me, I want a dedicated space in which I focus on film to engage with it.

This applies to the times when I create and engage with art, too, and I’ve mentioned before that there are even times when I do and don’t listen to certain albums or pieces of music. In this post-KRZ life I’m in, (need to change the name of this journal to Art Worth Dying For: or Life Post-Kentucky Route Zero), I’m trying to write these longer posts every Friday night after work, but it’s turning out to be either Saturday during the day, Saturday evening or on the Sunday. During the week I try to add something shorter, but I do want to maintain some semblance of regular discipline because writing is good for me, in particular in lieu of ceasing other online activities. I’ve found that engagement in general is low on other platforms, and while it does occur rarely and at a moderate level, it isn’t regular enough for my liking. Like many, I’ve taken a somewhat passive role on Instagram where the Stories are utilised to post temporary activity and engagement is higher, and on Facebook I respond to posts in the Akai Force group where necessary but only when relevant which isn’t often.

I’d rather come here and write endlessly and be orderly, in short and long-format text, and as expressed in my Instagram stories; even post images in a more static format that invites slower digestion and contemplation with a view to better interpolation of text and context of that text in relation to the images.

It doesn’t matter that I don’t have an audience here, what matters is that I like the form and format and that it feels right for my expression. It allows me to inject value into it, so I guess it’s good product then; even if no-one is buying. Good ol’ capitalism. I don’t know if writing discipline will lead to music discipline, that’s certainly not one of the aspirations I maintain - if it’s a side-effect, it’s welcome. Nevertheless, there’s a charm in writing publicly and being able to come back, re-read my thoughts and reflect on what comes out when I plug directly into what’s going on and let some of the previous week spill out, delineated in text and a few images - these tiny snapshots of what life is like for me. I feel like it’s valuable, insightful even if just for me, for what my life is becoming, the Art that is shaping it along with the events I’m experiencing - am subject to. That’s ominous, as it should be. It should be for us all. We are subject to Art.

[nightshadehoney]

On Karako Pierot

Time for more Hiveswap theories! Months ago I made this post, in which I theorized, among other things, that the Mysterious Purpleblood troll was actually a disguise of Fiamet, a limeblood. While the new Friendsim confirms there’s probably something going on with Karako Pierot and he’s not just a joke, it confirms my theory is incorrect: he has a different name and we see his blood.   But it’s given me a lot to think about; the following is a bunch of observations, some I saw other make and some I thought up on my own, on the connections between Karako and limebloods, Karako and the probable-mutant limebloods the Vantases, and limebloods and purplebloods in genera. 

We still have no idea what’s up with limebloods; only that they were killed because they had powers that threatened authority. Is it possible limebloods can change their blood color or at least make others think they see a different color? Karako is Mind-bound, which would thematically fit with messing with perception, he also seemingly uses chucklevoodoos at one point which also could cause delusions. There is precedence for a troll unlocking psychic powers more characteristic of a different caste: the Condesce  does it. If limebloods could disguise their blood color to that extent, let alone imitate the powers of other castes, that would certainly be a massive threat to the authority of the hemospectrum, which is one of the pillars of Alternian society.

More under the cut because this got too long:

If the above is true, and limebloods can mimic other blood colors, do the mutant Vantases have remnants of these powers? Yes they do, but what they are mimicking isn’t a type of troll, but a type of alien: a human. Or at least humans mimic them, because Karkat lead the session that was responsible for human existence as well as the person responsible for the trolls interacting with the humans at all. Vriska says at one point that Karkat would “make a good human”, which I think is true. He’s sensitive, cares about people, has no inherent talent for violence, and successfully manages to get a group of trolls to work together towards a common goal despite their varying levels on the hemospectrum. He’s basically a human trying to yell his way through a troll society he is essentially unsuited for. The Sufferer lived his life by human ideals: a society with no hemospectrum, love without quadrants, a parent instead of a lusus. 

The last is one of a few things that Karako and Karkat/Kankri have in common. Karako, like the Sufferer, has a jadeblood “mother” in the form of Bronya. Also, Karako is a similar name to Karkat and Kankri. Could it be a naming tradition of limebloods; Calliope does mention something about them having weird names, but doesn’t’ specify what makes the names weird. Tealbloods seem to mostly have names that start ‘T’ so there is some evidence that certain castes get names that often follow a certain pattern. Alternativley, theres an aspect of naming grubs without a lusus (though Karkat does have a lusus) that makes the names sound similar.

Karako’s reaction to the topic of his lusus is interesting. The most reasonable explanation is that he was too runty to have ever had one and that’s why he’s so sensitive to the seadwellers’ remarks. But, if he’s some limeblood in disguise maybe there weren’t any around to care for him because they were hunted down and killed like their troll counterparts. Maybe he had one and it’s dead. Combining the two theories: maybe limeblood lusii are hunted to produce sopor slime and that’s how his lusus died.

Speaking of lusii. Fiamet’s icon on that prongle preview was Dr. Shrunk from Animal Crossing , presumably because his lusus is an axolotl. But maybe there are other reasons he was chosen as a placeholder image: Dr. Shrunk is a psychologist who also wants to be a comedian. A clown? His role as a psychologist works both with the fact that purplebloods have the ability to get into people’s head and mess with people’s emotions as well as the old and popular fan theory that limebloods have some sort of pacification ability (more on that later).  The use or Dr. Shrunk who is both or is one but wants to be  the other/pretends to be the other suggests some connection between limes and purples. Dr. Shrunk could allude to the idea of one disguised as the other or a duality between the two castes. Duality is a big thing in Homestuck and trying to tackle all of the ways it connects to this topic would make this already too long post way, way too long, but its gonna keep coming up.  

Axolotls are amphibians. Amphibians are characterized by their ability to metamorphose, to live in multiple environments (water and land).  It actually means “both kinds of life” but I’m going to leave it there instead of going down the duality rabbit hole. This would tie into my “limebloods have the ability to change/disguise themselves” theory. But it also makes me wonder if Limebloods could be seadwellers? This is a bit off the topic of Karako, though it is interesting his route is the first time seadwellers are seen. We’ve got one limeblood with an amphibious lusus, (though axolotls don’t really live on land but this one is an alien who breathes fire so who knows) And then we’ve got Karkat with a crab lusus, another creature that can live in the sea or on land, and one that we could reasonably guess was bred from a limeblood lusus given that Karkat is likely a mutant limeblood. So if limebloods are seadwellers, was their disruption to society merely that they were lowblooded seadwellers while the other aquatic castes were at the very top of the spectrum? I have always wondered how there could be the historical animosity between seadwellers and landwellers that Equius claims there is when all sea trolls are without exception higher status than all land trolls, and this could explain that. Or do they have some characteristic that blurs the binary between land and sea trolls? Do they undergo some metamorphosis that other trolls don’t and if so what is it?

Oh and metamorphosis? Axolotl’s don’t do it. They’re neotenous; they never develop lungs or live on land, basically staying in their juvenile stage forever. Karako is small and cute and probably younger than any other character we’ve seen.  His name is a Japanese term for an art motif of Chinese children playing (this is not the confirmed origin tho), he doesn’t talk, he has a little note attached to him so you can give him back to his mommy etc etc. I’m reminded of Calliope and Caliborn. Sburb disrupted their natural growth processes so they are also neotenous and can never achieve physical maturity. Calliope is the only other limeblooded being we’ve seen and Caliborn’s color (in trolls) is a mutation of lime.  

All these observations. I’m making don’t really mean that Karako is a secret limeblood. Pretty much all of it could be explained by there being some sort of relationship between the lime and purple castes. I’ve mentioned the popular theory that lime bloods have sort of special ability for pacification and an extension of that theory is that they have psychic abilities that are the opposite of the chucklevoodoos. In this case, the powers that challenged authority was the ability to nullify the powers of the subjuggulators whose whole role is about enforcing the social structure and the hemospectrum. Lime as the anti-Purple caste makes sense. Sopor slime is possibly related to them in some way (their blood, crushed up grubs, the blood of lime blooded lusii, etc) and it’s implied its use is to protect from chucklevoodoo powers. Gamzee directly eats it to suppress his purpleblood traits and it’s a mutant limeblood who is able to stop his rampage when he quits. When asked if she has the same powers as a limeblood, Calliope replies “maybe”. She’s the other half of Caliborn who is the god of the subjugglators (both of them). She’s the opposing force to him just as troll limebloods are the opposing force to the purplebloods. And the only entity that is able to triumph over Lord English i.e. the Mirthful Messiahs is a version herself (but not any version, its only a potential, hence the maybe). It makes sense that the iteration of troll society overseen by a servant and extension of Lord English is the one that eliminated the limebloods, who share a color with his enemy (sidenote, Caliborn once called lime “harlequin slime”, so there’s kind of a clown connection there) and if limes are indeed the anti-purples it makes their removal from society a huge reason why Alternia is such a deeply unbalanced hellmurder planet.       

[mytalemyworld]

MEET MY NEW OBSESSION: RAHMET X DENIZ

Actually it isn't necessesary to write this title, since I've been only posting about them lately, you must have already known it. But, I haven't written a general review regarding this yet, so it's high time now. Well, what makes this couple so special? To answer this question, first I should talk about one of my most favorite characters.

Rahmet Elibol. A.k.a Shameless Lip. Turkish producers make remakes only because not being called as "thieves". Because a tv show like Shameless can not be properly remade in Turkey. So there were some major changes, especially in distinctive features, but in the end the general gist of the show remained the same. A drunkard, unresponsible father, a selfish, sick mother and six siblings who try to survive on their own because of their living conditions. I haven't watched Shameless but I liked Bizim Hikaye. Tho, I must say I continue watching it for Filiz and Rahmet. Filiz is the head of family, a queen bee and as for Rahmet, he is the big brother who always supports his elder sister and doesn't hesitate to look after his little siblings if she isn't there. It's not a coincidence that his name means "protector”.

We met him when he was eighteen. So smart, a little aggressive, headstrong, always thinking his family before himself. He was the top student in high school and his dream was to study physics engineering. Unfortunately his all dreams crumbled down when Filiz was sent to the prison so he had to work instead of going to the university to look after his siblings and bring home the bread.

But don't think of him as a meek, shy, good boy. In fact he reminds me of Mike in Suits. He is intelligent but using his mind for illegal things to just earn more and quick money. Therefore he doesn't hesitate to contravene the rules. For instance, he joined a math contest, if his team won, they would be rewarded with money, but when the rival group offered more money in exchange of the answer of the question, he chose to accept their offer.

But this is one of the best things of his story, I think. He doesn't do bad things just because he is insensitive. He wants to do the right thing but when everything becomes a mess he thinks he has no choice but to choose the wrong thing over the right thing. He also has own wounds, always carrying inside of him and never opens himself to anyone. On the day their mother died, he gave comfort to his siblings but when he was all alone in his room, he started crying silently. I think that's why I love him so much. He can be both strong and fragile at the same time.

And also he has perfect relationships with his siblings.

He and his elder sister Filiz are my favorites as I said thousands times before. Even when they argue, he accepts his mistakes and goes her side submissively. To him, Filiz is a flawless and perfect human-being (which I agree, she is one of the strongest female leads ever I've watched lately). As for Filiz, when something terrible happens, she always looks for Rahmet for his support. They are the most selfless ones in the family.

“Sis, as long as you stand behind me, I'll manage to do anything.”

And the relationship with his brother who is two years younger than him always brings to my mind Yağız and Sinan. 

They are half brothers but this truth has never changed their bond. Rahmet protects this stupid brother of him most. Maybe it is because he is also his best friend, he feels more responsible about him. Also when it's necessesary he is not reluctant to beat the shit out of him.

Hahahahahaha.

Well, if there wasn't love in his story, it would be incomplete. ;)

Look at these cuties... however this view can misguide you very much. Müjde a.k.a his first love is the biggest proof that he likes dangerous and a little crazy girls. She was his partner in crime but also they fought a lot. Tho, in the end they always managed to made peace. They had to say goodbye to each other in the end of the first season because she moved another city to go to college. But their seperation didn't cause devastation for anyone. Cause they were good friends before anything else. They had a lof ot sweet memories but that's all.

Now we are coming to the point I want to talk about.

Everything started changing when he went out from his safe neighborhood and stepped in a different world that is bigger and more twisted. He is about 19-20 years old now, carrying a lof ot burdens on his shoulders and trying to look so strong not to make his dear sister sad. His family thinks he goes to the university every day, but the truth is that he has been lying to them for months.

He met new people in this flashy world but one of them has turned his life upside down.

Deniz Çelik.

From the beginning they hated and belittled each other. Especially she despised this weird new cleaner boy at every turn. But he also fought back, didn't remain silent. Taking risk of being fired, he took her down a notch. For example, when Deniz ordered him to clean the trash she deliberately spilt on the ground, he threw her into the garbage bin straightaway!

Then gloves were off! Deniz could't stand his ignorance. Whereas the other guys are crazy for her, how come this guy, who is only a cleaner to her, can remain indifferent to her? To win this dangerous game, they absolutely ran circles around each other. But little did they know that the game started turning into a very real thing.

It was only physical attraction at first. Then something different happened.

To me, this scene caused the first real spark between them. When Rahmet lied in front of the university's discipline committee to prevent her from getting kicked out of the school and acted like her boyfriend, he looked like he saw some changes in her eyes. Like she was surprised to see that he could ever do something so dangerous for her just by his own will. If only they were really...but all these thoughts were harmful at that moment for her and she turned back her old arrogant self quickly and said "I'd rather get kicked out of school than being known as the girlfriend of a cleaner."

Ouch.

The words that killed the moment!

But, they were already at the point of no return. He was thinking of her more, he was worried about her, he was helping her... Though he couldn't name his emotions, hence he was getting closer with her sister Derin. He basically escaped from his feelings. But it was all vain. In the end he always found himself at that point he ran away from.

By Deniz's side. 

Then finally he realised that the very thing he feared was about to happen.

This scene is everything for me. When I watched for the first time, I was so surprised. Because it told us what was happening between these two broken young people and also what would likely happen.

While doing her school project she showed her cute lively side to Rahmet. Though she had her own agenda when she chose that project, her main goal was to confuse his mind. And to be honest she achieved that. 

“Seriously, where were you looking at here? You were staring passionately, angrily and with admiration. One only looks at someone they love in this way.”

At that moment he finally realized that he was falling in love with the girl he was supposed to hate and....

...she realized that this is more than a game, that this cleaner boy has the power to break her heart into pieces.

He knows this love only brings pain to him. He witnessed so many times that she despised him because he was a cleaner boy and also their interaction was only a game for her. He thinks he is just a trophy she wants to win. But little does he know she looks so sad whenever he denies his feelings for her.

But how long can he deny it? He broke up with her sister already. Now a possible romance is not forbidden. Though, this doesn't change the fact that the other girl still has feelings for him. But the main obstacle is not her. 

Their status difference, their shields, their fears, their prides...

But no matter what, in the end love always wins. Especially when they know they are so close to lose to the other party...

[sanrosa]

10:43pm

A month ago, exactly a month ago, I would not have imagined being in the position I am right now. Because a month ago, I still had uni assignments that were still due, I was still living with my one sister and mom, I had just applied for a learnership which I had hoped and prayed so much for - feeling optimistic because of the responses I gave for the interview, I still had a learner's licence that was about to expire and I was blatantly waiting for it to expire because there was no hope whatsoever anymore that I would get a test before it expires (my punctuality cost me a great amount), I still did not know how I'd really execute my vision of getting into the scenes and finally officially put myself out there as a rapper/artist, I still did not know either how I'd take advantage of the platforms I had initiated but did not carry on with (my blogs, youtube channels, twitter accounts, instagram, etc.) and I still had no full set idea of what I was going to do this year, like exactly what I'm working towards by the end of this unexpected gap year. This was all me, a month ago.

A month later... so much has changed, I'm quite amazed. So... I never quite really finished the assignments on time, and well, in summary: I failed. The hour I spent after reading that email, that hour- in pure shock, is one I will never quite forget. How I had emotions too many, yet none. A state of confusion, shock, heartbreak, deep sadness, then numbness, then acceptance, then happiness, then relief and joy. All in a matter of minutes. At the same time, I was trying not to feel either. I convinced myself that it is not that deep, I am strong and I will get through this. Because in a way, I had also expected it, the way things were going. I could not have expected that I pass with flying colours when the effort I was putting was minimal to none. Literally doing things last minute. So, while I was surprised at failing for the first time in my life academically, I honestly did not have anything or anyone else to blame but myself. The responsibility was completely my own and it is in my doing and way of handling my time that I succumbed to this position (of failure). So, yes, I do know that I am at fault. But fr, it just could not erase the fact that I was in shock hey. But I did move on from that rather quickly. And what I took from that moment were two things... A big lesson, and a big advice. The biggest lesson was (and will continue to be, until I truly learn and master it) - How to take control of my time and manage it efficiently! There will not a lesson as big as this one right here for me. Because it has become my biggest weakness and starting to become my most wounding one, unless I start acting right and learn it. I've been losing too much and too many precious things (opportunities, assets, beautiful moments) to my lack of time management skills. And it hurts! So I have no choice anymore other than to fully commit myself to respecting, cherishing and managing my time the way I'm supposed to, to get to exactly where I want to be. And well, I guess I'd say the advice is actually also in this lesson; Practice, practice, practice! Master the art of doing something when I need to and am able to. There's no better time than now. Anyways, next. Well, just a month ago I thought I'd be living with my sister for the year. But, my aunt and cousin came to visit for a weekend, and my cousin did not have a place to stay yet for his school year (res) so we found out he'll be staying with us. For a month. Jiki-jiki, a month later.. Both my sister and my cousin have left. Gone to their residences and off living their lives. As if I expected that?? I should've, right? No. Because my sister never actually said anything about leaving, and I genuinely thought my cousin was actually going to stay like a bit longer because who starts staying in a place in like the middle of the month, you know? So here I am now, lonely and sad they're both gone and I'm just left with my mother, who besides being a really cool and sweet human, likes to naaagg! about almost anything around the house. from the table not being wiped properly, to the windows, to the curtains, to the food and the way it was cooked, to the. Which, I'm not gonna lie, I understand as she is a black parent. I dislike it (extremely), but I do understand. I mean in any case, she probably has a lot of stress already so this is like her way of taking it out I guess (and lmao that is actually exactly what goes through my mind when she nags. I bounce her energy off, and not let it interfere with my energy, by keeping in mind that she's just trying to air out her 'boiling' thoughts, so i should not let it get to my emotions so that I have a bad vibe because the vibe that's been created. and it works like a charm). At the same time though, I'm not trying to paint a picture of her as an extremely 'complaintive' person lol, it's just i think that i'm not used to this energy anymore. I left the nest last year. Now that I've come back, I'm not sure how the hell I was able to handle such energy... cause it is lame as hell. But anyways, my point actually was how sad I am that my sis and cousin left. So abruptly even. Man. At least my cousin (who actually just left this morning) did leave me with something valuable. A truly valuable gift. He taught me how to make a beat. Just a day ago I didn't know practically anything about making beats. Not even the names of the types of instruments (snares, kicks, hi-hats, melodies). But now, I feel like I've unlocked a whole new world of understanding music. Cause now it feels like I even know exactly what went into the beats that these famous artists (Drake, Kanye, Nicki, PND, Cardi) use for the songs. Of course not exactly what they used, but more or less how they made it. And it looks easier now. My journey on being a rapper now looks more lit up cause bitch I'll even be producing my own hits now. Ah! Lol but okay, honestly, that was fire. And I'm truly and eternally grateful he helped with that. I hope he has a blessed year. Alright... next. (sigh) The learnership. Actually this one kinda still hurts deeply so I won't get too in detail about it, but... I did not get the learnership. Though I genuinely felt like I fit the criteria perfectly when I applied, as well as living very near to the workplace. Heaven only knows why I would be given such an opportunity and have the strength to actually take it, yet the outcome is a complete flop. Like I am honestly trying to understand why I even saw the ad in the first place... At such perfect timing (cause I was not going to be taking a gap year this year anyways)... All to just give me unnecessary hope? Why?? Why break my heart like that??? But ok yeah ... Life and shit. Anyways, the learner's licence. Haha, this one is quite interesting actually. Because to be truly honest, I had almost forgotten that I had a learner's licence. And I think it's because in my mind I had obtained the learner's, took driving lessons and had already planned to take the driver's test in PE, however I was in Gtown for most of last year, so it seemed like something that could not happen until I fully got back to PE, which was December. December came and went with all the fun I had and it completely slipped my mind that I could take lessons and a driver's test during the time. Came beginning of January, I'm preparing for school. Still no 'go book a test' in mind, until the middle/end of January (when it became final that I was not going to school this year) and I thought 'oh damn, this would be the perfect time to actually take lessons and book a test then'. Only to find out I am too darn late; the DLTC is all booked out. Oh, how I regretted wasting my time on idk what. 🙂💔 Fortunately, I was not too bummed out, considering I have another whole year to redo this then. Unfortunately, I stumbled upon a post by one of my favourite artists right now, Saweetie, and found out that she is doing a giveaway (brave of me to enter that world again, I know. I don't know what's my problem really) and well, I decided to enter it. Thing is though, it's a giveaway for a whole Tesla. Yes bitch, a whole entire mthrfking TESLA. And my ass is smart enough to think I would win it lol. Okay, God bless my heart. Anyways, so the catch is.... You need a driver's licence. OBVI! But I don't have one. YET! So, uhm, *cough cough* let me f**king book for learner's as soon as the day it expires!... Okay, done! Now let's go take the test 6 days later!... Okay, done! We passed... Done! Wooh. Now let's book for a driver's test as soon as you get home from writing the test cause we excited asf!... LMAO done! Now let's make sure it's a good date and good time astrologically too (cause that lowkey was the case with you writing the learner's test and boom you passed, even tho you didn't even check).... Done! Okay, we almost there, now go book for lessons at One Way (I'm sure they'll have spots for you cause it's a whole month and 3 days before you take your test lmao).... Done! Yay! I have a whole month to practice. Let's get it! Okay well, that's where I stand so far. Tuesday I'm then going to pay the booking fee and stuff. Then, take lessons from both the driving school and with my mother. Then take the test on Weed Day lmao. So after the test I smoke one up and celebrate victory. 😄 All in due time for the giveaway closing after two days. Wows. Whether I win the giveaway or not though, I'll just be glad that it seriously inspired me this much to finally get a driver's licence. Like, it genuinely pushed me hey. So boom I was able to get a licence this year 😁 Urrrniways... Next. My vision. Oh my dear vision. To be a well known female rapper. Beeeen hiding behind the scenes, you'd never know what I'm up to, whether I'm working, I'm playing, I'm being boring, I'm having a blast... or even having a child, chile (lmao). But one thing's for sure, I am still alive. Okay. And I'm just about to be more alive, and you'll even feel more alive... when my ass starts dropping things. Yasss honeyy, dropping my name, dropping that ass, dropping these beats, dropping this sass. Oh shit, here's the real her. Yes, hi. I been working, and I been playing, now let's get to showinnngg.😁 Lol, okay but on the real. A month ago, I really did not know how to execute my vision. In some parts I still don't really, like the cover for my debut EP (photography-wise), who to really contact for first edition EP-listening, and how much it would completely cost to distribute this whole idea/vision (which I'm actually going to have to start becoming my own professional accountant). But in some parts I now do, including important parts like GETTING THE MIC (😪😁 finally! and guess when it came? March 16th. always a special day for me this one), knowing how to produce my own beats here and there (finally 😁), and how exactly to market to a large number of people (😆more views and stuff), then perhaps less important stuff like the outfit I will wear for my very first performance lmao, and posting my stuff on instagram and tiktok (unexpectedly actually), and actually understanding and lowkey connecting with underrated rappers/singers. It's a pretty dope world to see tbh. Overrall... Babbyy, I see you the see the vision now. It's an exciting time to be in. (Side-note: Lmao I highkey lowkey think the moon being in Gemini just impacted me now. cause suddenly I'm on some other mood within writing this post. lmao shit changed quite drastically than when I began writing). Anyways, next. Last but not least... Taking advantage of these platforms, in conjunction with what exactly I will be doing this year. So, a month ago, I had almost forgotten about my astrology blog. Well, let me actually put it this way... I started to kinda cringe at the thought of my blog because it had been a while since I'd posted, so I wasn't too keen on going on to tumblr again. All the notifs, inboxes and deep cringe from noticing how it's been almost 5 months since I last posted something. Likkke... girl, is you serious or not? Lol, but then... an idea got blessed in my head on the 4th of March (a beautiful idea that will start commencing very soon)... How about I start a small business? :? Selling..... Merch. Based on astrology.😁 It is one heck of a win-win situation for me and the people getting interested in astrology now. But of course... I need an audience to sell to. So, (to the Heavens I thank for the day I randomly posted some astrology thing here on tumblr and it actually blew up and I did not even expect that), now I have some people to at least engage and connect with for this business. And I thank the Heavens even more that my idea somehow got transferred into my mom's head and she popped up a question of "Don't you wanna start selling stuff?" or something like that. And hell to yes, I grabbed that opportunity like no other! (but fr, I was shocked first. like what? you read my mind or sumn?) Lol, and so... Mi lady and I talked business and how she'd invested a K for me to check if I'd really be able to handle it. (Oh and perhaps I might add, my dad also did 'invest' a K for me in terms of my music... cause I was able to buy a mic with the money he gave me. Yes, yes, a whole K went into a mic). So I can only genuinely thank God for the people in my life, and how this path is going for me right now. Like, wow. But yeah. Technically, I haven't received the K from Mi lady yet, but that is good because I'd like to get in touch (and get bigger) with my tumblr astro fam again. Then in a couple of weeks, we officially commence. Just in time for me having a driver's licence. So, things can be easier for me pushing my business. :') Lord God, You are great. The greatest. Otherwise... yeah, then other stuff ke like really building my niche on instagram (posting pics and stuff), starting a music/astrology channel on YouTube (which I released my first video today 😁), and already officiated handles on twitter and insta. I'm not too sure if I care about facebook tbh. but yeah, then all that's left is the website itself and a professional email address. then, digitally, we up!

So yeah man... wooh, what a month passing by. never would've thought of all of these things happening. but I can only thank Lord God because it's none other than His doing that's helping me with all of this. Like I actually cannot explain how grateful I am for how kind and amazing He has been to me. and the fact that I'm able to see and understand why these things are happening. some making me really sad, but it's all just to introducing the next that will make me really happy. I am truly blessed man. wow.

God, I thank you. With all my heart and being. All my existence and soul. I thank you.

[1000-directions]

Annual Writing Self-Evaluation

*All answers should be about works published in 2017.

tagged by @imlouisaf <3

1. List of works published this year (in the order that they were posted):

o jeez, they were all really short but i published 14 stories on ao3 altogether

even if it’s a lie, say it will be all right

spinning on that dizzy edge

a praise chorus

lay your hands over me (written before everything else on this list but posted to ao3 months later as a backdated work)

baby, here we go again

i don’t care, i’m not scared

amsterdam without you

show me you can handle this

girl crush

she’s a good girl

see where this thing goes

boy, make me believe

are you that somebody?

part of your world

2. Work you are most proud of (and why):

this is hard because i’m proud of different stories for different reasons. some of these i just never would have thought i was capable of writing, and that feels awesome. but i’m going to go with even if it’s a lie, say it will be all right. writing this felt like torture sometimes, and by the time i published it, i’d spent so much time up close inside it that i couldn’t tell if there was anything good or redeemable about it at all, and i was embarrassed to even show it to anyone else. but when i read it now, i’m really pleased with it. i like the different relationships in the story, i like my use of flashbacks to sketch in backstory, i like the way louis and eleanor use sex in different ways to illustrate the complexity of their relationship. i love the interplay between past and present, and i think overall it has more emotional complexity than anything else i’ve written. i poured a lot of myself into it, and it sucked, and it was hard, but i’m so happy with how it turned out. also, i got some really amazing feedback about it, especially from people who were not sold on the idea of real-life elounor but found this portrayal sympathetic. i really loved being able to change some people’s minds and get them excited about louis’ real relationship.

3. Work you are least proud of (and why):

lol fuckin spinning on that dizzy edge 😩😩 my most kudos-ed work currently and probably forever, rip me. it’s not even a story, it’s literally just me describing louis in two different outfits, i think it took like an hour to write, it’s just...not...anything? i know that i’m too hard on this story, but actually, i’m nOT!!!

4. A favorite excerpt of your writing:

i do like this little paragraph from boy, make me believe, part of the louis/bebe truckstop au.

She didn’t know it could be like this. When she’d imagined her sexual future, she always thought it would be the same sort of adequate sex she’d been having before, just with progressively older guys, until she married one of them, and then they’d get older together. She’s only ever been with boys, is the thing, and Louis is such a man that’s she giddy with it. He has a job and a family and a kid. He knows a trade, and he lives alone in his own house, and he can fix mostly anything. He’s muscular and strong, and he smells like beer and cigarettes most nights. He’s all grown up and self-sufficient, and he knows who he is and what he wants. And he wants to worship her, and he knows how to do that, too. She didn’t know there would be gentleness. She didn’t know there would be selflessness. She didn’t know that being manly could still leave so much room for being soft.

5. Share or describe a favorite comment you received:

you know, it’s so funny to look at the kudos counts for the truckstop au, because they’re so much lower than i realized. and that’s because every comment i’ve gotten on that series has been so thoughtful and excited and loving and kind that it makes me forget that that series is SUPER NICHE and almost no one read it. but the people who did read it were just amazing and supportive, and even just a handful of people buying into that world and getting excited about it and talking shit out with me in the comments and helping me develop that world more and consider things differently than i had before, it was really just the best most rewarding thing.

6. A time when writing was really, really hard:

every second of writing that pig dog story was torture, especially as the deadline loomed closer and i still had almost none of it written. and also especially because i was really inspired at that time to work on my louis/briana story, but i didn’t have time, and i resented having to work on this one instead. i reread it today, and i swear it’s the first time i’ve actually even liked it. writing that story was brutal.

7. A scene or character that you wrote that surprised you:

writing two stories with harry as a narrator was a weird surprise. i really love writing through or about louis. i’ll read lots of different pairings, but it’s hard for me to get excited about writing a story that doesn’t involve louis. so i really didn’t expect to enjoy writing my hamille stories so much, but that’s been such a fun relationship to explore, and i expect i will write more of them next year.

8. How did you grow as a writer this year:

my philosophy this year has mostly been to only write what i want to write, and i mean both in terms of pairings and in terms of actual content. i don’t like writing plot and backstory and worldbuilding and all that shit, so i just...stopped. and i really focused in on the bits that i do like, the internal monologues and little scraps of dialogue and emotions and sensations, and i think it made my writing sharper and more concentrated. i think i reduced a lot of filler this year and really focused on writing undiluted, strong emotions and metaphors. if something was boring or dragging, i skipped it. i know that’s not for everyone, but it many writing much more enjoyable for me personally.

9. How do you hope to grow next year:

i would like to try some new pairings. this is weird, but i’ve never really written a true nouis story? it feels like i should have, but i haven’t, and that’s something i wouldn’t mind tackling next year. also, when i first started out, i didn’t feel comfortable leaving canon behind because i worried that i didn’t have a strong enough grip on my characters yet, and i feared that if i started writing AUs or whatever, my characters would become unrecognizable. but i’d like to keep venturing out and trying new worlds and tropes. i want to write more trans characters. i’d like to write an ace fic. i’d like to bring my eye to things i haven’t written before and see what happens.

10. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc):

jeez, everyone? you know what, i’m gonna go ahead and single out @alligatornyc as someone who doesn’t write but is such a positive and uplifting reader. if you get on her good side, she will make you feel like the greatest person who ever wrote a single word, and that is such a rare and wonderful gift. @mildlymaddy is also really phenomenal about showering her friends with amazing comments and feedback. @queerlyalex more than anyone else i’ve ever known is just...super positive about encouraging people to be creative and do whatever makes them happy, and they are so celebratory about whatever you end up producing.

11. Anything in your real life show up in your writing this year:

louis’ depression in even if it’s a lie, say it will be all right is my depression. also, this from see where this thing goes is 100% me dropping out of school and being ashamed to tell most of the people in my life:

“Do you figure you’re going to head back home?” Jay asked when they were both finished eating, and Bebe imagined what that would be like, to give up after so much planning. She remembered the going away party they had thrown for her at the old diner, the balloons and the cake and the card they’d all signed for her and the gas station gift card they’d all chipped in for, only forty bucks but it melted her heart that they’d all believed in her and wanted her to go off and be a big star. She couldn’t go home. She couldn’t face those people again until she became someone, and her eyes welled up with tears just thinking about it.

“I can’t go back there,” Bebe had said.

12. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers:

there is room for you to write the kind of stories you want to write. you don’t have to follow those “avoid these writing mistakes” posts that drive me fucking crazy. show don’t tell? who cares. if you wanna tell, then tell, it’s your story. people get very focused on word count and writing every day and forming proper habits, and if that works for you, good, and if that doesn’t work for you, that’s good, too. if forcing yourself to write every day makes you feel shitty and inadequate, then don’t do it. if writing when you’re uninspired feels bad, don’t do it. you don’t have to do this the way everyone else does. you’re doing this FOR FREE. it should feel good. if you’re not enjoying it, figure out a way to do it differently.

13. Any new projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year:

louis/bucky barnes is a thing, and it is happening, and i am getting really excited about it. louis/briana is happening. cis girls hamille is probably happening. more truckstop au will hopefully be happening. trans louis is theoretically happening, but that one is only just starting to coalesce in my mind. and once louis’ album drops, i’m sure way more elounor will be happening.

14. Tag three writers/artists whose answers you’d like to read:

i hATE TAGGING 😩 if we are mutuals and you wanna do this, tag you’re it! please tag me in your response. if we aren’t mutuals are you wanna do this, tag you’re it! please tag me in your response. fair warning tho this thing takes F O R E V E R to do

[suzanneshannon]

How to Think Like a Front-End Developer

This is an extended version of my essay “When front-end means full-stack” which was published in the wonderful Increment magazine put out by Stripe. It’s also something of an evolution of a couple other of my essays, “The Great Divide” and “Ooops, I guess we’re full-stack developers now.”

The moment I fell in love with front-end development was when I discovered the style.css file in WordPress themes. That’s where all the magic was (is!) to me. I could (can!) change a handful of lines in there and totally change the look and feel of a website. It’s an incredible game to play.

Back when I was cowboy-coding over FTP. Although I definitely wasn’t using CSS grid!

By fiddling with HTML and CSS, I can change the way you feel about a bit of writing. I can make you feel more comfortable about buying tickets to an event. I can increase the chances you share something with your friends.

That was well before anybody paid me money to be a front-end developer, but even then I felt the intoxicating mix of stimuli that the job offers. Front-end development is this expressive art form, but often constrained by things like the need to directly communicate messaging and accomplish business goals.

Front-end development is at the intersection of art and logic. A cross of business and expression. Both left and right brain. A cocktail of design and nerdery.

I love it.

Looking back at the courses I chose from middle school through college, I bounced back and forth between computer-focused classes and art-focused classes, so I suppose it’s no surprise I found a way to do both as a career.

The term “Front-End Developer” is fairly well-defined and understood. For one, it’s a job title. I’ll bet some of you literally have business cards that say it on there, or some variation like: “Front-End Designer,” “UX Developer,” or “UI Engineer.” The debate around what those mean isn’t particularly interesting to me. I find that the roles are so varied from job-to-job and company-to-company that job titles will never be enough to describe things. Getting this job is more about demonstrating you know what you’re doing more than anything else¹.

Chris Coyier Front-End Developer

The title variations are just nuance. The bigger picture is that as long as the job is building websites, front-enders are focused on the browser. Quite literally:

front-end = browsers

back-end = servers

Even as the job has changed over the decades, that distinction still largely holds.

As “browser people,” there are certain truths that come along for the ride. One is that there is a whole landscape of different browsers and, despite the best efforts of standards bodies, they still behave somewhat differently. Just today, as I write, I dealt with a bug where a date string I had from an API was in a format such that Firefox threw an error when I tried to use the .toISOString() JavaScript API on it, but was fine in Chrome. That’s just life as a front-end developer. That’s the job.

Even across that landscape of browsers, just on desktop computers, there is variance in how users use that browser. How big do they have the window open? Do they have dark mode activated on their operating system? How’s the color gamut on that monitor? What is the pixel density? How’s the bandwidth situation? Do they use a keyboard and mouse? One or the other? Neither? All those same questions apply to mobile devices too, where there is an equally if not more complicated browser landscape. And just wait until you take a hard look at HTML emails.

That’s a lot of unknowns, and the answers to developing for that unknown landscape is firmly in the hands of front-end developers.

Into the unknoooooowwwn. – Elsa

The most important aspect of the job? The people that use these browsers. That’s why we’re building things at all. These are the people I’m trying to impress with my mad CSS skills. These are the people I’m trying to get to buy my widget. Who all my business charts hinge upon. Who’s reaction can sway my emotions like yarn in the breeze. These users, who we put on a pedestal for good reason, have a much wider landscape than the browsers do. They speak different languages. They want different things. They are trying to solve different problems. They have different physical abilities. They have different levels of urgency. Again, helping them is firmly in the hands of front-end developers. There is very little in between the characters we type into our text editors and the users for whom we wish to serve.

Being a front-end developer puts us on the front lines between the thing we’re building and the people we’re building it for, and that’s a place some of us really enjoy being.

That’s some weighty stuff, isn’t it? I haven’t even mentioned React yet.

The “we care about the users” thing might feel a little precious. I’d think in a high functioning company, everyone would care about the users, from the CEO on down. It’s different, though. When we code a <button>, we’re quite literally putting a button into a browser window that users directly interact with. When we adjust a color, we’re adjusting exactly what our sighted users see when they see our work.

That’s not far off from a ceramic artist pulling a handle out of clay for a coffee cup. It’s applying craftsmanship to a digital experience. While a back-end developer might care deeply about the users of a site, they are, as Monica Dinculescu once told me in a conversation about this, “outsourcing that responsibility.”

We established that front-end developers are browser people. The job is making things work well in browsers. So we need to understand the languages browsers speak, namely: HTML, CSS, and JavaScript². And that’s not just me being some old school fundamentalist; it’s through a few decades of everyday front-end development work that knowing those base languages is vital to us doing a good job. Even when we don’t work directly with them (HTML might come from a template in another language, CSS might be produced from a preprocessor, JavaScript might be mostly written in the parlance of a framework), what goes the browser is ultimately HTML, CSS, and JavaScript, so that’s where debugging largely takes place and the ability of the browser is put to work.

CSS will always be my favorite and HTML feels like it needs the most love — but JavaScript is the one we really need to examine The last decade has seen JavaScript blossom from a language used for a handful of interactive effects to the predominant language used across the entire stack of web design and development. It’s possible to work on websites and writing nothing but JavaScript. A real sea change.

JavaScript is all-powerful in the browser. In a sense, it supersedes HTML and CSS, as there is nothing either of those languages can do that JavaScript cannot. HTML is parsed by the browser and turned into the DOM, which JavaScript can also entirely create and manipulate. CSS has its own model, the CSSOM, that applies styles to elements in the DOM, which JavaScript can also create and manipulate.

This isn’t quite fair though. HTML is the very first file that browsers parse before they do the rest of the work needed to build the site. That firstness is unique to HTML and a vital part of making websites fast.

In fact, if the HTML was the only file to come across the network, that should be enough to deliver the basic information and functionality of a site.

That philosophy is called Progressive Enhancement. I’m a fan, myself, but I don’t always adhere to it perfectly. For example, a <form> can be entirely functional in HTML, when it’s action attribute points to a URL where the form can be processed. Progressive Enhancement would have us build it that way. Then, when JavaScript executes, it takes over the submission and has the form submit via Ajax instead, which might be a nicer experience as the page won’t have to refresh. I like that. Taken further, any <button> outside a form is entirely useless without JavaScript, so in the spirit of Progressive Enhancement, I should wait until JavaScript executes to even put that button on the page at all (or at least reveal it). That’s the kind of thing where even those of us with the best intentions might not always toe the line perfectly. Just put the button in, Sam. Nobody is gonna die.

JavaScript’s all-powerfulness makes it an appealing target for those of us doing work on the web — particularly as JavaScript as a language has evolved to become even more powerful and ergonomic, and the frameworks that are built in JavaScript become even more-so. Back in 2015, it was already so clear that JavaScript was experiencing incredible growth in usage, Matt Mullenweg, co-founder of WordPress, gave the developer world homework: “Learn JavaScript Deeply”³. He couldn’t have been more right. Half a decade later, JavaScript has done a good job of taking over front-end development. Particularly if you look at front-end development jobs.

While the web almanac might show us that only 5% of the top-zillion sites use React compared to 85% including jQuery, those numbers are nearly flipped when looking around at front-end development job requirements.

I’m sure there are fancy economic reasons for all that, but jobs are as important and personal as it gets for people, so it very much matters.

So we’re browser people in a sea of JavaScript building things for people. If we take a look at the job at a practical day-to-day tasks level, it’s a bit like this:

Translate designs into code

Think in terms of responsive design, allowing us to design and build across the landscape of devices

Build systemically. Construct components and patterns, not one-offs.

Apply semantics to content

Consider accessibility

Worry about the performance of the site. Optimize everything. Reduce, reuse, recycle.

Just that first bullet point feels like a college degree to me. Taken together, all of those points certainly do.

This whole list is a bit abstract though, so let’s apply it to something we can look at. What if this website was our current project?

Our brains and fingers go wild!

Let’s build the layout with CSS grid. 

What fonts are those? Do we need to load them in their entirety or can we subset them? What happens as they load in? This layout feels like it will really suffer from font-shifting jank. 

There are some repeated patterns here. We should probably make a card design pattern. Every website needs a good card pattern. 

That’s a gorgeous color scheme. Are the colors mathematically related? Should we make variables to represent them individually or can we just alter a single hue as needed? Are we going to use custom properties in our CSS? Colors are just colors though, we might not need the cascading power of them just for this. Should we just use Sass variables? Are we going to use a CSS preprocessor at all?

The source order is tricky here. We need to order things so that they make sense for a screen reader user. We should have a meeting about what the expected order of content should be, even if we’re visually moving things around a bit with CSS grid.

The photographs here are beautifully shot. But some of them match the background color of the site… can we get away with alpha-transparent PNGs here? Those are always so big. Can any next-gen formats help us? Or should we try to match the background of a JPG with the background of the site seamlessly. Who’s writing the alt text for these?

There are some icons in use here. Inline SVG, right? Certainly SVG of some kind, not icon fonts, right? Should we build a whole icon system? I guess it depends on how we’re gonna be building this thing more broadly. Do we have a build system at all?

What’s the whole front-end plan here? Can I code this thing in vanilla HTML, CSS, and JavaScript? Well, I know I can, but what are the team expectations? Client expectations? Does it need to be a React thing because it’s part of some ecosystem of stuff that is already React? Or Vue or Svelte or whatever? Is there a CMS involved?

I’m glad the designer thought of not just the “desktop” and “mobile” sizes but also tackled an in-between size. Those are always awkward. There is no interactivity information here though. What should we do when that search field is focused? What gets revealed when that hamburger is tapped? Are we doing page-level transitions here?

I could go on and on. That’s how front-end developers think, at least in my experience and in talking with my peers.

A lot of those things have been our jobs forever though. We’ve been asking and answering these questions on every website we’ve built for as long as we’ve been doing it. There are different challenges on each site, which is great and keeps this job fun, but there is a lot of repetition too.

Allow me to get around to the title of this article. 

While we’ve been doing a lot of this stuff for ages, there is a whole pile of new stuff we’re starting to be expected to do, particularly if we’re talking about building the site with a modern JavaScript framework. All the modern frameworks, as much as they like to disagree about things, agree about one big thing: everything is a component. You nest and piece together components as needed. Even native JavaScript moves toward its own model of Web Components.

I like it, this idea of components. It allows you and your team to build the abstractions that make the most sense to you and what you are building.

Your Card component does all the stuff your card needs to do. Your Form component does forms how your website needs to do forms. But it’s a new concept to old developers like me. Components in JavaScript have taken hold in a way that components on the server-side never did. I’ve worked on many a WordPress website where the best I did was break templates into somewhat arbitrary include() statements. I’ve worked on Ruby on Rails sites with partials that take a handful of local variables. Those are useful for building re-usable parts, but they are a far cry from the robust component models that JavaScript frameworks offer us today.

All this custom component creation makes me a site-level architect in a way that I didn’t use to be. Here’s an example. Of course I have a Button component. Of course I have an Icon component. I’ll use them in my Card component. My Card component lives in a Grid component that lays them out and paginates them. The whole page is actually built from components. The Header component has a SearchBar component and a UserMenu component. The Sidebar component has a Navigation component and an Ad component. The whole page is just a special combination of components, which is probably based on the URL, assuming I’m all-in on building our front-end with JavaScript. So now I’m dealing with URLs myself, and I’m essentially the architect of the entire site. [Sweats profusely]

Like I told ya, a whole pile of new responsibility.

Components that are in charge of displaying content are almost certainly not hard-coded with data in them. They are built to be templates. They are built to accept data and construct themselves based on that data. In the olden days, when we were doing this kind of templating, the data has probably already arrived on the page we’re working on. In a JavaScript-powered app, it’s more likely that that data is fetched by JavaScript. Perhaps I’ll fetch it when the component renders. In a stack I’m working with right now, the front end is in React, the API is in GraphQL and we use Apollo Client to work with data. We use a special “hook” in the React components to run the queries to fetch the data we need, and another special hook when we need to change that data. Guess who does that work? Is it some other kind of developer that specializes in this data layer work? No, it’s become the domain of the front-end developer.

Speaking of data, there is all this other data that a website often has to deal with that doesn’t come from a database or API. It’s data that is really only relevant to the website at this moment in time.

Which tab is active right now?

Is this modal dialog open or closed?

Which bar of this accordion is expanded?

Is this message bar in an error state or warning state?

How many pages are you paginated in?

How far is the user scrolled down the page?

Front-end developers have been dealing with that kind of state for a long time, but it’s exactly this kind of state that has gotten us into trouble before. A modal dialog can be open with a simple modifier class like <div class="modal is-open"> and toggling that class is easy enough with .classList.toggle(".is-open"); But that’s a purely visual treatment. How does anything else on the page know if that modal is open or not? Does it ask the DOM? In a lot of jQuery-style apps of yore, yes, it would. In a sense, the DOM became the “source of truth” for our websites. There were all sorts of problems that stemmed from this architecture, ranging from a simple naming change destroying functionality in weirdly insidious ways, to hard-to-reason-about application logic making bug fixing a difficult proposition.

Front-end developers collectively thought: what if we dealt with state in a more considered way? State management, as a concept, became a thing. JavaScript frameworks themselves built the concept right in, and third-party libraries have paved and continue to pave the way. This is another example of expanding responsibility. Who architects state management? Who enforces it and implements it? It’s not some other role, it’s front-end developers.

There is expanding responsibility in the checklist of things to do, but there is also work to be done in piecing it all together. How much of this state can be handled at the individual component level and how much needs to be higher level? How much of this data can be gotten at the individual component level and how much should be percolated from above? Design itself comes into play. How much of the styling of this component should be scoped to itself, and how much should come from more global styles?

It’s no wonder that design systems have taken off in recent years. We’re building components anyway, so thinking of them systemically is a natural fit.

Let’s look at our design again:

A bunch of new thoughts can begin!

Assuming we’re using a JavaScript framework, which one? Why? 

Can we statically render this site, even if we’re building with a JavaScript framework? Or server-side render it? 

Where are those recipes coming from? Can we get a GraphQL API going so we can ask for whatever we need, whenever we need it?

Maybe we should pick a CMS that has an API that will facilitate the kind of front-end building we want to do. Perhaps a headless CMS?

What are we doing for routing? Is the framework we chose opinionated or unopinionated about stuff like this?

What are the components we need? A Card, Icon, SearchForm, SiteMenu, Img… can we scaffold these out? Should we start with some kind of design framework on top of the base framework?

What’s the client state we might need? Current search term, current tab, hamburger open or not, at least.

Is there a login system for this site or not? Are logged in users shown anything different? 

Is there are third-party componentry we can leverage here?

Maybe we can find one of those fancy image components that does blur-up loading and lazy loading and all that.

Those are all things that are in the domain of front-end developers these days, on top of everything that we already need to do. Executing the design, semantics, accessibility, performance… that’s all still there. You still need to be proficient in HTML, CSS, JavaScript, and how the browser works. Being a front-end developer requires a haystack of skills that grows and grows. It’s the natural outcome of the web getting bigger. More people use the web and internet access grows. The economy around the web grows. The capability of browsers grows. The expectations of what is possible on the web grows. There isn’t a lot shrinking going on around here.

We’ve already reached the point where most front-end developers don’t know the whole haystack of responsibilities. There are lots of developers still doing well for themselves being rather design-focused and excelling at creative and well-implemented HTML and CSS, even as job posts looking for that dwindle.

There are systems-focused developers and even entire agencies that specialize in helping other companies build and implement design systems. There are data-focused developers that feel most at home making the data flow throughout a website and getting hot and heavy with business logic. While all of those people might have “front-end developer” on their business card, their responsibilities and even expectations of their work might be quite different. It’s all good, we’ll find ways to talk about all this in time.

In fact, how we talk about building websites has changed a lot in the last decade. Some of my early introduction to web development was through WordPress. WordPress needs a web server to run, is written in PHP, and stores it’s data in a MySQL database. As much as WordPress has evolved, all that is still exactly the same. We talk about that “stack” with an acronym: LAMP, or Linux, Apache, MySQL and PHP. Note that literally everything in the entire stack consists of back-end technologies. As a front-end developer, nothing about LAMP is relevant to me.

But other stacks have come along since then. A popular stack was MEAN (Mongo, Express, Angular and Node). Notice how we’re starting to inch our way toward more front-end technologies? Angular is a JavaScript framework, so as this stack gained popularity, so too did talking about the front-end as an important part of the stack. Node and Express are both JavaScript as well, albeit the server-side variant.

The existence of Node is a huge part of this story. Node isn’t JavaScript-like, it’s quite literally JavaScript. It makes a front-end developer already skilled in JavaScript able to do server-side work without too much of a stretch.

“Serverless” is a much more modern tech buzzword, and what it’s largely talking about is running small bits of code on cloud servers. Most often, those small bits of code are in Node, and written by JavaScript developers. These days, a JavaScript-focused front-end developer might be writing their own serverless functions and essentially being their own back-end developer. They’ll think of themselves as full-stack developers, and they’ll be right.

Shawn Wang coined a term for a new stack this year: STAR or Design System, TypeScript, Apollo, and React. This is incredible to me, not just because I kind of like that stack, but because it’s a way of talking about the stack powering a website that is entirely front-end technologies. Quite a shift.

I apologize if I’ve made you feel a little anxious reading this. If you feel like you’re behind in understanding all this stuff, you aren’t alone.

In fact, I don’t think I’ve talked to a single developer who told me they felt entirely comfortable with the entire world of building websites. Everybody has weak spots or entire areas where they just don’t know the first dang thing. You not only can specialize, but specializing is a pretty good idea, and I think you will end up specializing to some degree whether you plan to or not. If you have the good fortune to plan, pick things that you like. You’ll do just fine.

The only constant in life is change.

– Heraclitus     – Motivational Poster         – Chris Coyier

¹ I’m a white dude, so that helps a bunch, too. ↩️ ² Browsers speak a bunch more languages. HTTP, SVG, PNG… The more you know the more you can put to work! ↩️ ³ It’s an interesting bit of irony that WordPress websites generally aren’t built with client-side JavaScript components. ↩️

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[shelllessturtle]

Behind the scenes of this livetext: Mycroft gets a new phone and identifies Iago via haiku; Iago sees Hamilton; "Pride and Prejudice but in Starfleet" becomes a thing; Iago quits their job; SO MANY PUNS; and it turns out that Mycroft has never finished Avatar: the Last Airbender. A year in the making (I'm not even fucking kidding), I present you with: Iago Reads Wizards At War (lightly edited for ease of reading)

Mycroft: Better start bracing yourself for book 8 now

Iago: Oh sweet Jesus

Mycroft: There, no you can't say I didn't warn you

Iago: But you /know/ it's funnier when I get to threaten you with gruesome death!

Iago: Are you ready for this?

Iago: ...one of the chapter titles is "Acceptable Losses". /I/ am not ready for this.

Iago: Nita needs a vacation from her vacation. Nita sweetie...

Iago: "Neets, is it true he destroyed a whole alien culture in just ten days?" Carmela Rodriguez is my Patronus

Mycroft: Right?

Mycroft: She just keeps getting better

Iago: Roll call at the Callahan home: "three humans, one humanoid, one tree, and one giant bug" and I'm quietly cackling in public

Iago: "The centipede pointed a couple spare eyes at the Christmas tree." Taken out of context, I think that may be the most bizarre sentence I've ever read. In context, it makes perfect sense. I don't know which amuses me more.

Mycroft: Yesssss

Iago: "But her mom had loved those lilacs, and wouldn't be seeing them again." OKAY OW

Iago: Oh sweet minty Jesus

Iago: You weren't wrong.

Iago: And I wasn't prepared.

Mycroft: So not prepared

Mycroft: What's that in response to specifically?

Iago: Basically the entire series of events leading to Kit and Nita becoming Seniors

Mycroft: BASICALLY

Mycroft: IT'S ALL GONE TO SHIT

Iago: Descriptions of wizardries in action never fail to be beautiful

Iago: "The changes in the structure of space then start affecting the thought processes and reactions of all living beings in the area. Their behavior will start to become less and less rational...less committed to Life."

SHE WROTE THIS BOOK OVER A DECADE AGO HOW IS IT SO RELEVANT RIGHT NOW

Mycroft: Oh you have no idea

Iago: God help my soul

Mycroft: So yes, welcome to Tom's Wizardly PowerPoint of universal doom

Iago: I should just go see Moana again. It's far less depressing

Iago: "Uh-oh". Now Nita's getting in on it

Mycroft: Indeed

Iago: Looks like Nita's playing "fake it 'til you make it"

Iago: I don't know if that's good or bad, to be honest

Mycroft: Fairly characteristic tho

Iago: True

Iago: "...yet another lollipop sticking out of his face." That is the greatest description of someone with a sucker in their mouth that I've ever witnessed

Mycroft: Roshaun and his lollipop addiction

Mycroft: The real OTP

Iago: *chokes* oh my gOD

Iago: Sker'ret just called Nita "Senior". I think both Nita and I had a quick internal freak-out

Iago: THEY STILL HAVE BETTY CALLAHAN'S NUMBER IN THEIR HOME PHONE I'M GOING TO GO CRY IN A CORNER

Mycroft: ;__;

Iago: "The universe has started expanding too fast, and we have to stop it before it tears itself apart."

"Um. Okay, I see why you might need a few extra days off for that."

*slightly hysterical laughter*

Mycroft: Same

Iago: "Two weeks to save the universe". Sounds like an album title

Mycroft: I'd listen to it

Iago: "What /is/ grenfelzing, exactly?"

"It's kind of like emmfozing, but with chocolate."

Have I ever mentioned that I both hate and love your ability to quote these goddamn books at me when I ask questions?

Mycroft: I can't recall, but I'm glad to hear it

Mycroft: Also I mean that's the only canon explanation so really, what else could I say

Iago: But you quoted it /word for word/

Mycroft: Admittedly, that was at least partially For The Meme

Iago: I'll allow it

Iago: "...a brief, profound case of amnesia. They'd instantly forgotten why they were there" sounds like my life

Iago: Oh my god what is Spot doing with the TV

Iago: *whispers* How bad is it that my mind is currently in the gutter

Mycroft: Dataaaaaa

Iago: AM I JUST A PERVERT OR DOES THAT SOUND INCREDIBLY DIRTY

Mycroft: It's certainly something

Iago: "But most of the aliens are here for the cocoa plants." Well, I can't exactly blame them...

Iago: Carmela Rodriguez remains a gift

Iago: Oh god Ronan's back

Mycroft: Yessssss Carmela and Ronan

Mycroft: A dangerous combination

Iago: Ronan keeps the Spear in a pen

Iago: *checks date published*

Iago: Feels a bit Percy Jackson to me

Iago: Carmela has the insta-hots for Ronan. This is gonna be fun

Iago: "The fucking heir of an almighty something or other" is still a really good description for Roshaun. In case you were wondering if I had warmed up to him any more

Iago: WHALE

Iago: WHALE ON THE MOON

Iago: Whale On The Moon is the name of my new techno jazz band

Mycroft: Can I join?

Mycroft: I'll learn any new instrument you need

Iago: ...having thought about it, I'm legitimately not certain what instruments would be /played/ in a techno jazz band. So, I mean, if you want to learn the synthesizer...

Iago: Young Wizards book 8 alternate title: Wizards' Reunion

Iago: Lots of air quotes going on right now

Iago: ....I want Darryl's manual

Iago: "Where's your adjunct talent?"

"Playing with rocks, as usual."

Okay now I really want a puppy

Iago: "Twychild". Have I mentioned lately that the worldbuilding in these books gives me a case of the warm fuzzies?

Mycroft: Yesssss Tuyet and Nguyet

Iago: *whispers* Why is there a thought-voice talking in second-person in Kit's head

Iago: The description of Roshaun's living space send help

Iago: "A three-way collision between an antique furniture warehouse, a jewelry story, and a Gothic cathedral carved and decorated by the artistically insane."

Iago: So my brain has given Roshaun's father the voice of Mark Hamill.

Iago: There's a decent chance I'm going to just call him the Phoenix King

Iago: "Speaking truth to power is never 'out'." DAIRINE REMAINS GOD

Iago: (Also if I ever go to a protest I'm putting that on my sign.)

Mycroft: Yessss do it

Mycroft: And which kind of Mark Hamill are we talking here: Skywalker, Firelord or Joker?

Iago: Firelord. Thus the Phoenix King comment

Iago: Oh my god Dairine in the face of implications that she and Roshaun are ~involved~

Mycroft: Blessss

Iago: "You tell those people that they are completely nuts!"

Iago: Did...did Roshaun just /whine/ at his mother?

Mycroft: Yes

Mycroft: Not so dignified now

Iago: *falls off the table in laughter*

Iago: Oh god is Roshaun developing a Thing for Dairine

Mycroft: WELCOME TO THE MADDENING AMBIGUITY

Iago: MADDENING AMBIGUITY IS THE NAME OF MY NEW POLITICAL PUNK BAND

Mycroft: Bless

Iago: This is my favorite game

Mycroft: I know a fair few YW fans who have a particular talent for it

Iago: I have a list. I use them in my stories for bands my characters like

Mycroft: Most excellent

Iago: Ponch wants blue food

Mycroft: As do we all

Iago: I /could/ go for some blue Jolly Ranchers

Iago: Ponch, to Ronan: "You two just talk among yourselves."

Dog sass is best sass

Iago: "It's math, Kit, but not as we know it."

SHE. SHE JUST. SHE FUCKING DID THAT ON PURPOSE

Iago: I'm going to go curl up in a corner and cry with laughter now

Mycroft: Yup

Mycroft: What a nerd, right

Iago: Pot, kettle

Iago: Oh shit Sker'ret is having a fight with his parent

Iago: ...I currently have a desire to cuddle what amounts to a giant centipede. What have you done to me

Mycroft: The magic of Young Wizards

Iago: That was terrible

Iago: But, then again, I love terrible

Iago: Okay so the description of dark matter

Mycroft: Yes?

Iago: I feel like I have something crawling around under my skin

Mycroft: It's unsettling, isn't it

Mycroft: That gets worse

Iago: Oh god

Iago: "Nita for the first time actually saw someone else look out of Ronan's eyes. The expression was one of recognition coupled with a very controlled anger. The one who looked out had seen something like this before."

Oh. Shit. Oh /shit/.

Mycroft: Yessssss

Mycroft: Shit just got real

Iago: I am not prepared for this

Mycroft: Correct

Iago: GIGO

Mycroft: :D

Iago: "For transits like this, we temporarily rewrite the kernel that manages local gravity and mass in our solar system. It's no big deal."

oh my gOD

Iago: They are actually Dairine's children

Mycroft: They've been busy since we last saw them

Mycroft: And it's awesome

Iago: "A world of true computer wizards" get the fuck out

Iago: They're actually calling her Mother s e n d h e l p

Mycroft: RIGHT

Iago: I'm not crying you're crying

Mycroft: I'm not crying I'm eating a quaesadilla

Mycroft: The crying one must be you

Iago: Well I can't see to tell you so who knows

Iago: "Guys," [Dairine] said after a moment, "you make me proud."

"That is our other purpose," Beanpole said. "Our first one."

Iago: I A M D E A D

Mycroft: I knowwww

Iago: "Life's all the time sending /me/ messages I can't read." [Dairine] flicked just a second's glance at Roshaun, who she was starting to think was yet another of those messages.

Iago: Oh lordy

Iago: Oh god above send help

Iago: Spot's becoming less of a machine, more alive. I don't know if I'm in support of this change

Mycroft: Everyone needs upgrades now and then :P

Iago: I don't like change

Iago: I kind of adore the mobiles all bowing to Dairine

Iago: Roshaun raised his eyebrows and produced another lollipop, which he held out to her.

"How many of those things do you have?" Dairine said.

"Not nearly enough," Roshaun said.

Iago: Please excuse me while I go laugh myself sick

Mycroft: Roshaun has his priorities in order

Mycroft: There was always a jar of lollipops on hand at CrossingsCon in his honor

Iago: Perfect

Iago: "I'll give you a dysfunction where you'll have trouble finding it again."

Totally stealing that don't even care

Mycroft: Excellent

Iago: "I may be a mother, but you are /mine/."

Maybe I didn't take enough time to recover after finishing The Slow Regard of Silent Things I'm going to go collapse in an emotional heap

Mycroft: So many Dairine feels, I knowww

Iago: "Enthusiasmic incorporation of the Hesper--"

What? What?! What does it say? What does it mean? I NEED TO KNOW

Mycroft: [rubs hands together; evil laughter] I'M SAYING NOTHING

Iago: Oh god is time moving faster on Metemne

Mycroft: MAYBE

Iago: Oh fuck it's relativity isn't it. Because they're near the source of the dark matter, they're moving faster than the rest of the Universe

Mycroft: Very possible

Iago: Oh no. Introduction of Della Cantrell and MY EMOTIONS CAN'T TAKE THIS HALP

Mycroft: Oh boy

Iago: Nita's phone call to her dad. Direct hit to the feels.

Mycroft: Harry Callahan is such a good dad

Iago: That is part of why it hurts so much

Iago: "Nita, could you please get off me before we accidentally become more than just good friends?"

*cackles maniacally*

Mycroft: BEST

Iago: Holy fucking sHIT ALMOND SPIDERS WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK

Mycroft: Wait what

Mycroft: Remind me of the context for that

Iago: On Rashah. The creatures destroying the trees are almond-shaped and have eight legs. Almond spiders

Mycroft: Oh ok that's what I figured

Mycroft: HELLO TO OUR TERRIFYING NEW ALIEN FRIENDS

Iago: ALMOND SPIDERS. WHY.

Mycroft: WHY NOT

Iago: "They've been fighting each other, on and off, for /millions/ of years?"

"They must be really enjoying it, to keep the war going so long."

Sker'ret is so great

Mycroft: Rashah is not exactly a great vacation destination, that's for sure

Iago: Oh sweet minty Jesus the almond spiders are a remnant after an atomic holocaust I need a drink

Iago: And...they're all avatars...of the Lone Wanker. Better make that two drinks.

Mycroft: WELCOME TO RADIOACTIVE POSSESSED WAR-MONGERING GIANT SPIDER CULT WORLD

Mycroft: ENJOY YOUR STAY

Iago: Where is Nita's dad

Iago: I am Concerned

Iago: Also

Iago: I will never get tired of the "check your spelling" joke

Mycroft: Same

Iago: "Words had just failed Dairine." Gods above have mercy on us all

Mycroft: I appreciate that the narration pauses to note how unthinkable that is

Iago: Also, a "bright" version of the Lone Power

Iago: What does that mean

Iago: Why is bright in quotes

Mycroft: To indicate it's kind of a rough description of a more complex subject, mostly

Iago: But does it mean that we're getting a version of the Lone Power that's more on the good side or a version that's worse than usual

Mycroft: There's more explanation later, but basically picture the LP's non-evil twin

Mycroft: Like its opposite, basically

Iago: I thought /you/ were refusing to give spoilers

Mycroft: Meh, I saw that as more clarification on what you already read, ymmv

Mycroft: But stay tuned

Iago: Well obviously

Iago: Nita doesn't like shooting people who are shooting at her

Mycroft: Krakens don't count but I don't think they were as sentient

Iago: "I'm a wizard, not an engineer" goddammit /again/?!

Mycroft: Yesss

Iago: I shall take myself off to the laughing corner

Iago: Oh god self-destruct at the Crossings

Mycroft: Kind of a terrifying prospect

Iago: Nita just blew up a giant gun

Mycroft: Yesss

Iago: "High-fiving a giant centipede can take a while."

Up next on Winning Understatements....

Mycroft: That is so fun to picture

Iago: I know!

Iago: "I don't wear socks."

"Just as well. You'd bankrupt yourself."

That is /also/ fun to picture

Mycroft: As an antidote to the tense battle scene, have a bunch of centipede leg jokes

Iago: Pretty much

Iago: Wait

Iago: /Carmela/?!

Mycroft: Hahahaha yesss

Mycroft: THE GLORIOUS RETURN

Iago: What

Iago: WHAT

Iago: Okay, Sker'ret just /swallowed/ the self-destruct panel

Mycroft: He's got a talent for that kind of thing

Iago: Which, I mean, okay, great way to not lose it

Iago: But

Iago: Can't he digest, like, /everything/?

Iago: And the self-destruct sequence is still going?

Iago: What happens if he takes too long to get the panel back out?

Mycroft: Rirhait stomach work in mysterious ways

Iago: ...is that the canon explanation or your way of saying "don't think about it too hard"

Mycroft: Yes

Iago: Why did I let you talk me into this

Mycroft: Because it's awesome, come on

Iago: Ugh

Iago: *quiet noises of agreement*

Iago: "So I took steps." CARMELA

Iago: (Carmela is the reason I let you talk me into this.)

Mycroft: That's the best answer

Mycroft: This book is Peak Carmela honestly

Iago: *whispers emphatically* Juanita Louise

Mycroft: Yessssss

Iago: Carmela just referred to Filif as "my favorite Christmas tree" and Carmela is all of us in that moment

Mycroft: So true

Mycroft: Filif is tree-mendous

Iago: I fucking hate you so much right now. :b

Mycroft: :D

Iago: "We are on errantry, and we greet you."

"Not that you particularly /merit/ greeting." Nita pls

Mycroft: She's earned the right to some snark, I'd say

Iago: Clearly

Iago: "You get more honey with flies. Wait a minute, that's not how it goes." CARMELA PLS

Mycroft: Oh my god

Mycroft: Get ready for another legendary Carmela moment

Iago: IS SHE BRIBING THE TAWALF WITH CHOCOLATE

Iago: FUCKING SHIT YES SHE IS

Mycroft: YEAH

Mycroft: And now you know why this book made Carmela everyone's favorite

Iago: I'M SO PLEASED WITH THIS

Iago: I mean Dairine is always going to be my eternal favorite but yeah Carmela's a close second

Mycroft: Relatable

Iago: Oh my god now she's threatening to /eat/ the chocolate right in front of them I'm crying

Mycroft: I KNOW RIGHT

Iago: Ponch the almond spider is trying to catch his non-existent tail

Mycroft: Omfg I forgot about that

Iago: It's a hilarious picture

Iago: I think I just witnessed a cult gathering

Iago: "You let me worry about this planet, and I'll let you worry about all the others." HARRY CALLAHAN IS BEST DAD

Mycroft: THE VERY BEST

Iago: NO

Iago: NONONONONO

Iago: TOM AND CARL HAVE FORGOTTEN THEIR WIZARDRY

Mycroft: AH YOU'VE GOTTEN TO THAT PART

Mycroft: WELCOME TO HEARTBREAK CITY, POPULATION YOU

Mycroft: And also Nita

Iago: S E N D H E L P

Iago: Wait are Rirhait mostly purple

Iago: Because if yes than they are my new favorites

Mycroft: They also come in blue, green, and pink, but yeah

Mycroft: I'm pretty sure Sker'ret in particular is purple

Iago: Well I saw that but the book makes a point to say that there are a /lot/ of shades of purple and I fucking love purple

Mycroft: You're in luck, then

Iago: "I would never lose my balance. I am a paragon of grace and stability."

"Oh, yeah. Who said /that/?"

"Roshaun."

Someone help me

Iago: I cannot

Mycroft: Pffft

Mycroft: Classic Roshaun

Iago: Kit is hiding his eyes from "sex stuff" and I'm laughing

Iago: "My dog brings home strays." Kit your dog is a fucking gift

Iago: A ducking gift who knows how to work a situation to get dog treats

Iago: And...and then he gave the treat to the Yaldiv that he brought home.

Iago: Ponch is a good dog.

Mycroft: Ponch is a good dog

Iago: "What is it with these Callahan women that they're always after yelling at you and giving you grief?"

"Not always. Just when it's going to get most on your nerves."

Kit just be glad Nita isn't here because she'd sock you

Iago: Oh

Iago: Oh shit

Iago: Just head the story of the dogs' Choice

Iago: And

Iago: everything is fine

Iago: EVERYTHING IS FINE MYCROFT

Mycroft: E V E R Y T H I N G I S F I N E

Iago: "Even when people mean to do good things, bad things happen in the world."

"They're happening already. Pretending they're not won't help."

Memeki the almond spider is speaking to my soul I'm gonna go start a revolution now

Mycroft: Yes please do

Iago: ALMOND SPIDER ATTACK OH GOD

Mycroft: I'm greatly enjoying your dedication to calling the Yaldiv almond spiders

Iago: NITA AND CARMELA TO THE RESCUE FUCK YEAH

Iago: WAIT WAS THE "THING" NITA WAS SUPPOSED TO GO BACK AND GET ACTUALLY /CARMELA/?!

Iago: BECAUSE THAT WOULD BE THE FUCKING GREATEST

Iago: Also

Iago: What does it mean that Memeki was honored by the Great One

Iago: Is she pregnant

Iago: Is she being nommed from the inside

Iago: Oh. Oh shit. What does Memeki mean by "my time"

Iago: CALLED IT ASSFACES

Iago: I mean

Iago: She's not currently getting et

Iago: But

Iago: Eggses

Iago: EGGSES, PRECIOUS

Iago: ACK NO WHY WITH THE MEMORIES OF BETTY I AM NEVER PREPARED FOR THOSE

Iago: Okay apparently the thing Nita was supposed to bring was /not/ in fact Carmela but rather hEART-WRENCHING MEMORIES OF HER MOTHER'S DEATH

Iago: Oh god Carmela is yanking Kit's chain about having found a manual and I'm experiencing emotional whiplash halp

Mycroft: Carmela is dedicated to yanking as many chains as possible, the audience's included

Iago: THEY'RE ALL LOST THEIR WIZARDRY SEND HELP

Iago: ROSHAUN IS ON HIS DIGNITY SEND A DIFFERENT KIND OF HELP

Iago: *inhuman screeching*

Iago: ACK NO YOU ABSOLUTE WANKHOLE GET YOUR DIRTY POWERS OFF CARMELA

Iago: "Oops," said Carmela...and, very slowly, smiled.

Mycroft: OOPS

Mycroft: The holy grail of Carmela badass

Iago: *screams a lot*

Iago: *so much screaming*

Iago: Oh, now This Bitch is rising from the ashes, because obviously

Iago: *snarls a lot*

Iago: *basically continuous snarling*

Iago: RONAN

Iago: R O N A N

Iago: *screams forever*

Iago: *interrupts eternal screaming for a breath* oh yes Sker'ret is in fact purple *continues screaming*

Iago: ROSHAUN WHAT ARE YOU DOING

Iago: ROSHAUN

Mycroft: ROSHAAAAUN

Iago: *still screaming*

Iago: WHAT THE HAP IS FUCKENING

Iago: WHY IS THE TRANSCENDENT PIG HERE

Iago: WHY IS PONCH A SHADOW DOG

Iago: P O N C H

Iago: PONCH IS SUCH A GOOD DOG

Mycroft: PONCH IS THE BEST DOG

Iago: *cries forever*

Iago: *is also still screaming*

Iago: TOM AND CARL ARE BACK

Iago: BUT ON THE OTHER HAND PONCH

Iago: PONCH

Iago: PONCH IS BACK

Iago: HE'S A SHEEPDOG NOW BUT HE'S PONCH

Iago: TOTALLY CRYING RIGHT NOW BECAUSE IT'S ALWAYS THE ANIMALS THAT GET TO ME

Iago: IT'S THE END OF THE BOOK AND THE DOG TECHNICALLY DIDN'T DIE

Mycroft: The dog did the opposite of dying, ultimately

Iago: PLEASE EXCUSE ME WHILE I COLLAPSE ON THIS BED AND SOB WITH JOY

Iago: Okay I'm going to go collapse in an emotionally exhausted heap and probably read all of A Wizard of Mars tomorrow. So. Be ready for that.

Mycroft: CONGRATS you made it to the last stop on the emotional roller coaster that is Wizards at War

Mycroft: You win a free trip to Mars

Mycroft: Where definitely nothing will go wrong

[kendrixtermina]

Extra Typology Vol #3 - Part , A: 16. - The Serious Style (Basics)

Remember how I introduced the Solar type as “Like a four but for optimists”? Well, here’s a label for all the people who are gloomy, but realistic and not necessarily head-in-the-cloud escapists. 

This is your classic “knight in sour armor”./ Tall-dark-and-snarky, sort of the more somber, low expectatations type of “gloomy”/”negativistic” person. People of the serious style suffer no illusions - they don’t hitch their wagons to a star, count their chickens before they’re hatched or don rose colored glasses - Even when things are not so pleasant, they see them as they are. 

Of course, since our current culture favors individuals who “think positive” (BLERGH!) Serious-style individuals may be misunderstood, but they don’t expect to be popular - what they sacrifice in silver linings, they gain in an ability to carry on in even the worst of circumstances. This is a no-frills, no-nonsense, just-do-it personality style whose strenght in hard times can help everyone survive. 

For this one it generally helps to remember that there’s a difference between negativity (a value judgement) and negativism (a mode of perception; Notcing the absence of things), though both can of course coinincide. I can’t think of a hard equivalent in other type systems rn, though I do get what is meant by this - cynical first person smartass narrators anyone? 

The Six Domains

Work

For predominantly Serious people, work is truly the metaphor for existence: Life is work and work is life. Be it in the workplace or during personal time, everything is a series of chores. It’s hard, it may even be a grind, but you do what you have to do tu survive. 

Serious people see no choice in this approach to life and they do not expect to find pleasure in it, or to archieve som possibly hidden creative potential. In this way they differconsiderably from people with the two other personality styles in wich work is a key domain: conscientious types, who find a sense of themselves and a meaning to their lives through their efforts, and Aggresive individuals who experience positive fulfillment from the wielding of power. Their expectations are relatively low instead of relatively high - 

The serious personality style is especially adapted to adversity, and people with it have the strenght to keep on doing their duty, which can be a particular asset to their families and to the community, but though they might be an inspiration to others in their seemingly thankless travails, they take no pride in it - They see it as drudgery, not heroism, and typically feel that this is simply their lot in life, albeit a sour one; They may complain, but they see little romance to their labors, seeing it simply as they way life is: You’re born, you work, you die.  Picture the stereotypically dour farmer of times gone by who does what they can to make ends meet.  Although serious individuals press on where others would give up, they get no thrill from it the way an Adventurous person would after surviving a frightening challenge, and neither do they get any particular gratification out of doing things for others the way Self-Sacrificing people do - Serious types are normally cautious and avoid risks but when their path is strewn with hardships, they’ll keep on plodding. 

But regardless of wether or not their personal circumstances are extreme, Serious types see life as hard work - they do their duty as they see it  but the doing may feel to them like toiling on a treadmill - they presevere regardless wether or not they like what they are doing or wether they are rewaded for their efforts - what it feels like is irrelevant for them - A trait that’s easy to take advantage of in a modern workplace. They’ll do the job responsibility no matter what; They may gripe about having too much work to do, but they’ll do it. They’re not activists and do not assert their rights as others might see them and unlike the Self-Sacrificing person who works just as hard with similar humility, the Serious individual doesn’t long for the appreciation they fail to insist on. 

Without any ambitious, self-promoting styles in their makeup, people who are dominated by the Serious style will not map out their careers as a series of stepping stones toward the big price - it’s survival, and for that they’ll singlemindedly work to stay in place rather than to conquer new challenges. The Serious type’s ability to endure discomfort enables them to tolerate routine, tedium and prodigious amounts of work. They are steadfast, loyal, trustworthy and take their jobs extremly seriously, though they may lack the overt enthusiasm some employers prefer. 

It’s not uncommon for them to be cynics who are pessimistic about other and the future and likely to be dissapointed with themselves, but in moderation these traits can contribute to a sucessul career and produce accomplishments that benefit others without necessarily lightening their own burden.

Emotions

Emotions represent the second of the Serious style’s ruling domains - in particular, they’re characterized by a relatively low base mood/ energy level, leading these individuals to envince a sober, unspontaneous emotional style - Their seeming joylessness is inherent, not a cover as it may be for Self-Sacrificing people whom they may resemble - they’re not downplaying their enjoyment out of guilt, their levels of relish & expressiveness are just naturally moderate. 

They’re the quintessential “glass half-empty” kind of people: They see the dark side of life in sharp focus and are constitituonally incapable of coloring it with a positive brush, at least not by default - mind you, they are just as accurate in their description of the container as those who insist it’s half-full, even if contemporary culture accords extra credit to those who thinks positive - and surely it is impossible to completely avoid pain and loss in life. All 14 styles (and presumably the others if you include them) have their own way of reacting to that reality - A Mercurial person may try to escape into pleasure, a Dramatic type will want to shift their eyes to the bright side immediately, a highly Slitary person may not feel much of anything very strongly etc - 

In the case of Serious people, they tend to stay with the dark side even when the intense, acute agony has faded. This style is incapable of the self-sustaining delusions that many others require in order to keep their chins up. While, say, a Self-Confident person will trust that things will work out even when that may not necessarily be true, the Serious person will believe it when they see it; They are realists by nature and when continually confronted with the harsh realities of life, they can’t, as it were, flip the channel to take their mind off it - As such, irritability may be common and even a perfectly well-adjusted Serious person will display a certain pessimism regardless of their capacity for emotional heights from time to time. 

Almost invariably, upbeat, optimistic people see the Serious emotional darkness as wilfull, as if they can and should snap right out of it and lecture them about how they are making themselves miserable - but often, they wrongly assume that the Serious person must be unhappy, mistaking a lack of over hapiness for its opposite. But the Serious person themselves may be quite satisfied with their dark view of things; And they may believe, perhaps accurately, that they’re more tuned into the rough terrain of the world than most people are. For them, the best medicine is reality - when they want to relax and take it easy, they read or watch the news, always finding their view of life affirmed by the latest unemployment statistics, reports of disasters, accusations of political corruptness and the like, and though these subjects may not be very relaxing or cheering to most people, Serious individuals expect such events and find them interesting or curiously reassuring. 

(A/N: It may do us good to remember that the optimism in some optimistic people can be just as ‘inbuilt’ tho. Naivité & condescening presumtion are ovsly bad, but much of the time the 7s and 2s of this world don’t mean to be insensitive or invalidating, but are simply saying the sort of thing that would help them. )

Relationships

Predominantly Serious people bring the same virtues to their personal life that they demonstrate in the workplace: They are dependable, trustworthy, steady and predictable in their relationships. 

They are not socially outgoing, which may cause some difficulty in finding potential partners; Once they find a mate, though, they’ll invest sincerely in the long haul. They will provide for their families and perform all neccessary responsibilities to their daily lives, and they’ll remain faithful even if a partner is not.  - They do not expect a relationship to be perfect, if anything, they expect a rocky course and surrender in advance and when it comes to other’s flaws, they’re more likely to resign themselves to them with a sour, cynical musing about human nature rather than confronting them and insisting on better behavior - and although some may think that the serious activity to accept the worst in others is harmful to themselves, this realistic attitude toward human fallibility may prevent them from breaking off a relationship that might eventually have stood the test of time at the first difficulty.

But wether or nor they assert themselves in their relationship or face confict creatively, Serious types tend to be critical of their mates, simply as a logical extension to their ‘glass half-empty’ approach to life - like Vigilant people, they aren’t blind to what is off or not right about any person, situation or relationship, but unlike them, they’re not overly suspicious - the flaws they see are real, though they might still miss part of the picture by overlooking the prettier realities. 

At times, this can become stressful to their mates who might justifiedly insist that their qualities and actions are not being weighed on a balanced scale - they are not hypocrites however, and iif they should be accused of an unkindness, a Serious person will suffer greatly. Though people with this style might be limited in expressing positive feelings, they are in fact very dependent on their loved ones and don’t get any kind of self-righteous pleasure in finding fault - When they recognize that they have caused pain, they tend to become very remorseful and readily take the blame. They often chalk up others’ as well as their own shortcommings to the imperfections of the world, and they trudge on - So you might as well try to let go of your hurt and trudge along yourself.

Self

Serious people have a clear sense of who they are: Limited people in an imperfect world. They work extremly hard since they see the world as harsh and hard work as a necessity just to stay in place. 

Their self-critical humility can be appealing - they do not struggle to present a better face, to pull the wool over anyone’s eyes, to improve themselves or to fit an image. Perhaps because they don’t resort to such defense mechanism, their sense of self can sometimes become vulnerable in times of high stress, or when the Serious style becomes extreme; In such cases, their self-esteem can hit rock bottom and require some shoring up. 

Self-Control

In keeping with their dour, dependable and somewhat cheerless tendencies, Serious types think everything through before acting and remain undistrated by impulse or passion. They do not tempt fate by taking risks and they don’t escape into pleasures or appetites - extremly serious people may take too little initiative & inadvertedly provide themselves with good cause for feeling limited in life, but generally, the sober and dutiful actitude to life tends to pay off  - 

Contrary to popular belief, at least some long-term studies show that cautious realists tend to live longer than happy-go-lucky optimists. Granted, the risk-taking optimists would probably think it’s still worth it, but to each their own. 

Worldview

To a Serious person, the world is a forbidding, inauspicious place. 

One way that these individuals come to terms with things to to frame their past failures or helplessness in the face of forces beyond their control: If only they’d been born differently, if only they hadn’t sold that stock etc. Often these thoughts run through their minds repeatedly and they can have tendency to dwell on past misfortunes. 

Another more adaptive way to deal with the harshness of reality is to continually prepare for the worst and, in doing so, prevent other potential calamities - and in this they can take great satisfaction. Often they will take measures to prevent recurring worries and as a result, never actually experience the doomsday scenario in question. 

Finally, another precaution they take is to eliminate the potential for unpleasant surprise by adhering to routines and keeping their noses close to the grindstone. 

Life Choices

Leadership

Predominantly Serious people are not eager for authority and thus are unlikely to seek management level positions, though they may be promoted to lower or middle management positions because of their productivity and years of service, though this is more likely for a moderately Serious person with another predominant style. 

The serious manager will expect others to take a great deal of work regardless of wether they like any particular assignment, but they won’t shirk their own responsibilities, and while the atmosphere will not necessarily be upbeat, personally encouraging or even supportive, but for the subordinate who is self-motivated and does not require inspiration from on high, a lot can be learned from such a ‘doer’. Serious managers can be quite critical of those who work for them, but it may help to know that this is just general complaininess/negativism - They don’t usually get out of shape about it since they don’t necessarily expect things to go right.

Lacking in political skills, the manager may not be able to fight for the subordinates’ rights when necessary, but wether they say so or not, they will appreciate the steady, reliable worker who shows up & does their job day after day

Job Recomendations

Because you are so responsible and hard-working and can put up with routine, you will do well in virtually any work that does not force you to continually demonstrate initiative, problem-solve, or deal with people in an ever-cheerful way. For many serious people, civil service, government and union related work offers the opportunity to work hard without having to compete to stay alive (although the competitive will always go father in these or other settings; But such is life.)

Alternatively, a moderate amount of seriousness often enhances other styles to put your personality strenghts to work in investigative journalism, research, law, accounting, secretarial work & health care (ie. everywhere where a healthy scepticism and frustration tolerance help.)

Avoid sales & public relations, whch will require that you manage interpersonal atmosphere more creatively than it is your style. Consulting work is a possibility, but be careful that you don’t underprice yourself.

Stress Sources

If there’s one think Serious people can’t stand, it’s the pressure that other people often put on them to change - Loved ones commony insist that they look on the bright side, as if their point of view was somehow not authentic. 

Or, others may have higher expectations for them than they may have for themselves and therefore attempt to push them to be more assertive: “Be more ambitious, you could totally get a promotion if you really tried!” 

In the face of increasing stress, the natural Serious pessimism ma< turn to gloom and eventually to true despair, but most of the time, their very cynism helps them to cope, overcoming any unsettling wistfulness - and as mentioned earlier, just because they’re Serious doesn’t mean they’re unhappy. 

Parenting

Serious folks make for responsible, cautious parents who try to make their children aware of life’s inevitable hard knocks. Whereas a Sensitive parent may try to control a child’s word in order to make it safe (”Wear extra layers in winter so you don’t get sick”), Serious parents teach the not to be surprised  by misfortune (”Sometimes you get sick in winter even though you wore extra layers.”) - like Sensitive parents they will not encourage their children to take risks, but they’re not likely to overprotect their kids and won’t fight their battles for them - their children will not expect an easy ride and have a role model for how to cope in adversity, but they may benefit from a non-Serious parent from whom to learn  that a person can actively change things for the better, not just how to deal with difficulty. 

Like Conscientious and Aggressive parents, Serious parents will inculcate the value of work, but they must take time to allow for activities other than homework an chores. The other parent, one hopes, will impart the benefits of fun and the joy of novelty. 

Romantic Compatibility

Serious people require mates who are highly accepting and will let them be

Some of the best matches are with moderately Devoted or Self-Sacrificing people, who are very eager to please (A/N: the author recomends these so often I’m beginning to think that his own spouse must be one XD But there is something  that popular “gentle girl, brooding boy” romance trope, though of course there’s no reason it has to be that particular gender combination)

Conscientious types have a similar work ethic and strong sense of responsibility, which will prove comfortable, but beware of the conscientious need to be “right” since Serious people have a very definite point of view

Serious-Serious matches can work because both partners will have a common understanding of the world, though some may prefer to pair up with someone who can socialize  with greater confidence and drag them into activities that they might find find themselves enjoying despite themselves. 

Among the less suitable choices are types who are drawn to risk and/or may respond poorly to having someone rain on their parade, such as the predominantly Adventurous, Mercurial, Self-Confident and Dramatic (come to think of it, the same probably goes for Inventive and Exuberant as well.)

Specific Issues

Serious ft. more Outgoing and/or Dynamic emotional styles

Remember ‘Dramatic on the Inside’? Well a kind of reverse also exists, and it is actually fairly common for the Serious style to coexist with more outgoing, emotionally expressive styles.  While the more purely/predominantly Serious will be relatively somber, a mixture with a more dynamic style tends to produce a person with emotional dynamicity but still with a ‘darker’, negativistic coloration to the spectrum of feels  - the effects of that may be subtle, for insance, a Dramatic-Serious person wuld probably be able to act more emotionally engaged than they really felt inside  and wouldn’t be as credulous or startled by misfortune as a purely Dramatic person would. A Serious-Mercurial person would be both drawn to and frightened by risk and would probably be especially moody, or, if they’re unlucky, especially prone to depression. 

(A/N:  Maybe these combinations of serious + emotionally dynamic style might produce what we’d call a 4 in enneagram speak, with the same mixture without the Serious “overlay” (that is the idealistic-creative-feelsy elements) resulting in a 7 or Solar type. This would mean that fans of “dark fantasy” and the snarky cynics popping their bubbles actually have a comonality!  Not sure what a ‘purely’ Serious person would be in the classic enneagram(though there’s avariety of possibilities), but the range of the Lunar or Melancholic type might cover both dour and ‘dynamic’ Serious types, though we might also call this a Saturn if it occurred in a Te user & might also show up in a Phlegmatic person; Again it has no clear equivalent which would be an example of how the oldham system has useful distinctions. )

[therewas-a-girl]

I've been so bitter about a large part of this fandom and its hypocrisy & double standards. They've made things miserable and been awful (to the cast, crew, other fans), only to change their tune or been about the moment it became clear that they were going back to olicity and Felicity's Helix story took off (and I say that as a Felicity fan). They don't care about other characters. They're only good when they need other example to prop up their complaints. The season has been far

from perfect but it also had some great stuff. They don’t care about Digg outside of being yoda/couple cheerleader. Where did the good fandom we had go? or maybe I was too naive to see how it was before.

I get where you’re coming from anon, i really do. there’s being critical of a show and then there’s piling shit on it only because you’re not getting the storylie you want. 

the problem with arrow is that its so problematic that all the reasons for being critical of it overlap: the logical and illogical ones. 

however i do understand that for some people olicity is the only reason they watch, so if they’re not together, arrow is not worth watching. its a valid reason. (for example, while we’re talking about Felicity: i was one of the people that would have punched arrow in the face, had arrow been a person, for flippant and dismissive/diminutive way it treated Felicity in the first half of the season. ...and i would have murdered them in the throat for her storyline last year… and in the gut for the one in s3 ) 

to be fair to the arrow and olicity fandom, I don’t think there are good fandoms anywhere. there are just good corners. and no matter what, people have a right to like or dislike a material given to them, for the reasons they chose to. (within reason and decency, meaning that no, i do not understand or condone harassing other fans or the actors, who are just doing their jobs. i dont understand the relentless offensive questions and the holding these people responsible for things they have no control over, nor do i understand this fandom’s blindness to the fact that actors/producers/crew are here to sell a product and will speak accordingly. 

nevermind gugenheim tho, he’s a prime ass pig, he deserves the middle finger cause he’s gross and thinks he’s god’s gift) 

i do believe in confronting people for their bullshit, but only on the issues of where someone’s opinion disrespects another person’s humanity - like confronting the racist language some fans use to bash Rene, for instance, just cause they dont like the show’s direction, and use him as an outlet for their anger.

can we maybe … take a moment … to appreciate how AMAZING team arrow looks right now !!!! and how GOOD this season has been for representation !!! and the fact that the New Team Arrow: Rene, Curtis, Dinah, are ALL people of color !!! like, can we do that? cause its so beautiful !!! 

on matters of how ppl like/dislike the show, you and i can’t really do anything about it. nor should we - at least i dont think so. it’s not fair to ask anyone to shut up because their opinions are ruining our experience - it’s our job to safeguard that experience, whatever it may be. 

Im with you on the fact that s5 has been remarkably better quality-wise, in comparison to both s4 and s3. if one doesn’t count how hard arrow has backtracked from certain slorylines and - what i most despise in any kind of writing - refused to deal with the consequences of its own stories for too long, until it was convenient (and used contrived ways to do so) s5 is actually quite fun. the overall quality feels higher, and i can admit that despite being a VERY critical fan of the show, because i realize that my issues with arrow are systemic, and have been in the shows dna from the start 

(raging unforgiving sexism, racism, fridging, manpain, silencing of women’s stories, overall low quality writing, the utter disregard for emotional continuity, the cheerful ignoring of the emotional fallout of certain storylines etc)

they are - these things are not new! the only thing that is new that has caused so much ruckus is that oliver and felicity are not together - which makes ppl impatient and less forgiving of things they have overlooked before. yeah, that is a double standard - and frankly a little alienating, to me, how ppl’s obsession with olicity overshadows so much - especially since this show fucked up hard in much more offensive ways before, and hardly anyone had that many shits to give because oliver and felicity rode in the sunset together. 

people will be people, you know. we cant come in here to preach the right way or try to change people’s minds, cause it will ruing it all for everyone, but most especially for you. we just have to admit that we’re different and like the same thing for very different reasons; hopefully friends friends who share those reasons and enjoy the ride, i guess.