#I mean I say Fah is the top

[wayfinder-family-lover]

You know how in bl or even in young adult romance in general you always has the top being more experienced than the bottom when it comes to flirt and sex and sometime in love (tho in this I feel it's more 50/50).

And yet Your Sky subvert that. Because it's obvious that Fah is just as inexperienced as Rak! In THAT scene in Episode 8, he is as awkward as Rak. He has no idea what he is doing, but he is also very much overwhelmed by his desire and want. Both of them are. Because it's obvious Rak wants it just as much as Fah. Even if he is not ready yet. He wants it, just now isn't the right time. And Fah is clumsy in the way he touches Rak. You can see his head only think about Rak. And nothing else. At first his touches are timid, awkward. But he still goes for it, until it becomes obvious Teerak isn't ready. And he stops directly. Ready to wait for when Rak is.

This makes Teerak and Muenfah on the same level. Which is accentuated by their dialogue before that.

And them not being experienced makes so much sense. They both only had one relationship before each other! (Also love that they both have relationship before, once again make them on similar level). And Teerak did say he only date Mew because he wasn't able to say no. And I don't think they ever went to that point with each other.

Fah on the other hand, did seems to have love his ex very much. But he also say they weren't physically close. And the past episodes show that well. Muenfah always gay panics and is awkward whenever Teerak step into his personal space. His muscles growing weak when Teerak is too close, incapable to hold things in his hands. Contrasting Teerak who is used to that, we see him doing it with Babe, his dad, Punlee, Type, Joy, etc. Physical intimacy is something that come naturally to Teerak, not Muenfah.

And yeah, physical intimacy and sexual intimacy are different. But they are still link. One doesn't always mean the other, but they also are intricated in each other. Therefor, I think Fah either didn't do it or he did, but he definitely isn't the one leading it. And even that I don't think he did it more than twice.

Making both Teerak and Muenfah inexperienced. And I love that so much. They are on equal level and like everything in their relationship, they growing in it together. And well, learning together.

Also ThomasKong acting is amazing bc we can feel all their feelings with their eyes and body language.

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - 2024 is Ending, Not With A Bang But With A Whimper

Organized, in each category, with ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

Dec 2024 Week 4

Ongoing Series - Thai

Your Sky AKA How to Train Your Seme (Sun iQIYI) ep 6 of 12 - Oh they are so fucking cute. Lee maybe the best brother wingman ever in BL. He is so entirely on Fah’s side. And we get sweet soft first kisses with permission asked. Yeah!

Stupid phone call!

ThamePo (Fri YT) ep 3 of 12 - Not gonna lie, hard call over whether this should take the top spot this week. I adore this show.

This lead pair is absolutely stunning. I love that the story is about external drama with others, not manufactured drama or miscommunication between the leads. In fact, the romance that we see developing is one characterized by careful attention, gentleness, and patience. They enjoy each other‘s company in a restful calming way. We are watching them become each other’s safe space. Neither of them realizing how much they needed that from the world. I hope the conflict stays external and they get to evolve as a couple while narrative tension stays external.

Love Sick 2024 (Sun iQIYI) ep 15 end - i’m quite pleased that they kept most of the stuff in the forest. And I actually like that they swapped it around so that this was the end of the series. I think it makes for a better more solid ending. I'm disappointed that 10 years on and PhunNoh still don't get to have a decent kiss. Since I think the new pair would’ve done fine with it. In the end I think neither Love Sick really come out on top. They’re both represent their time although this new one was oddly nostalgic.

I chronicaled my experience with 2024 as compared to 2014 here including ep-by-ep recaps and ratings, as well as a summary judgement over all. Spoiler...... all that work and it was, ultimately, a draw. I guess 10 years a not all THAT much has changed in Thail BL. Therefore this Love Sick gets the same as the original, 7/10 

The Heart Killers (Weds Gaga) ep 6 of 12 - I love the tension and the slow rollout of the secret being revealed. It’s really beautifully done. Joong is knocking his role out of the park, I have to say. He’s kind of stealing this show for me. Also I loved the foreshadowing of drawing the make up tears on his face and then, of course, us knowing that there will be tears from Fidel in this episode once he knows The Truth. Very nice, boyos.

Fourever You (Thurs YT) ep 13 of 16 - I think i love Arthirt best in the world. love seeing someone more an arse than Johan. To Johan. Also, by all means take Ngern's shirt off. We all being all kinds of respectful on this side of the screen. Pinky promise.

Caged Again (Fri Gaga) ep 8 of 10 - Adorable date and sweet kisses. But NGL this episode was a bit boring for me.

Perfect 10 Liners (Sun YT) ep 9 of 24 - I think that I like ForceBook best when they are just being casual long-term boyfriends together. You know, chwill chwill sabai sabai. I see Santa is back in his "punk ass little brother" role. Suits him well enough. But I have to say that Junior is absolutely stealing this show. He’s truly stellar. Meanwhile, what an adorable hug and meet cute. I enjoyed the ending of this episode. I admit, I’m not sold on the new pair, but I’m more willing to give them a chance now then I was when this was first announced.

Secret Love 60-81 end - what a very odd show. But I forgive a lot for pining semes and the stepbrother trope. 7/10

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Our Youth AKA Miseinen: Mijukuna Oretachi wa Bukiyo ni Shinkochu (Japan Tues Gaga) ep 8 of 11 - oh its so painful. No one does this level of suffering like Japan. Just press that bruise and feel the sticky sweet ache.

See Your Love (Taiwan Weds Gaga) ep 11 of 13 - it is all very important and absolutely adorable but where Sean just kind gestures desperately at the bed and Shao Peng muscles him into it was absolutely fantastic. All the picking up and tossign arroudn and smily fun kissing in the shower. It'll all just GREAT. Also, THAT pregnancy line was epic. 

Eternal Butler (Taiwan Fri Gaga) eps 3 of 12 - It's actually quite sweet. Tonally quite odd, and definitely jarring when pitted agains the rest of the end of year offerings, but I think I like it? I don’t know where it’s going. Or what it’s doing. And I don’t entirely trust it. Because of the production house track record. But I am enjoying it. Also, the horny herb drug is back. This is a seriously old trope. Like 1970s old romance trope.

Teenager Judge (Vietnam Sat YT) ep 13 of ? - I'm bored.

It's airing but......

Spare Me Your Mercy (Thurs iQIYI) finished it's run. I don't know what to do. Reviews are all over the damn place. Do I watch?

Be Moon - Falling for my enemy's son (China YT) movie from HBD Studio. I can't find it. You?

Winter Is Not The Death of Summer (Thai ???) - has been picked up to air on WeTV, or something? Criminals who meet in prison fall in love. I did find it on YouTube, initially un-subbed, then subs happened by which time I got distracted. It is very pulp but intriguing. For now it's to the wayside until someone tells me it landed safely. Occasionally Thai pulps want to be edgy and it's not a good look on them. But sometimes they do good.

The Renovation (Thai mini One31) 2 eps - Writer turns his blossoming romance with holiday resort owner into a novel. Is it worth tracking down? That is the question.

0.5D (Japan ????) 4 eps - Supposedly a now completed short. "Sales ace, Sada, has a secret that only his junior, Daiki, knows. He has pretended to have a gf for years, resulting in him being a virgin. But now Sada has fallen in love. Confused, Sada seeks advice from his junior." I sense another queer Cyrano De Bergerac. I can't find and it's got very poor reviews, so Imma stop looking. Info here.

It Ended But?

Blue Canvas of Youthful Days (China Sun Viki) paused at eps 9-10 of 12 - I have been told the ending is OK if not great. I just haven't been inspired to watch.

In Case You Missed it

I've started my end of year wraps. Here's the 2024 Trend Report. My best of year wards are still to come. Watch this space.

Next Week Looks Like This:

Final still to come in 2024:

12/29 Sangmin Dinneaw (Thai Sun iQIYI) ??eps - trailer Childhood friends (Thai & Korean) reunite after being apart for ten years. As the boys reconnect, their bond matures and feelings of romance develop.

2025 Line Up

BL Announced for 2025 - PART 1

BL Announced for 2025 - PART 2

20 BLs Announced for 2025 That I'm Really Excited About

GMMTV 2025 Line Up - My Totally Biased and Wildly Flawed Feels

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENT

BEST BOY. (Your Sky)

(last week)

The tag BLigade: @doorajar @solitaryandwandering @my-rose-tinted-glasses @babymbbatinygirl @babymbbatinygirl @isisanna-blog @mmastertheone @pickletrip @aliceisathome @urikawa-miyuki @tokillamonger @sunflower-positiiivity @rocketturtle4 @blglplus @anythinggoesintheshire @everlightly @renafire @mestizashinrin @bl-bam-beyond @small-dark-and-delicious @saezurumurmurs

[cupidarchived]

Your Sky: Episode 5

I honestly don't think I have ever loved an on-going show as much as I love Your Sky. Instant butterflies and giddiness are all I feel when thinking about and watching this show. It is currently the highlight of my week, every week.

I did not get a chance to make a post for last week's episode (4), mostly because I was reading the book and was too overwhelmed to put anything into words. Thomas and Kong (and the entire cast) are perfect for these roles. Not only have they wowed me every episode so far but having the details and the back story just made watching this week's episode 2x greater. I am still overwhelmed so I will try to keep this short, but the happiness this show brings me tends to take over often so forgive me if this gets lengthy.

The first 18 seconds of them just taking each other in is already giving me butterflies. Teerak staring at Muenfah with wonder and Muenfah in turn staring at Teerak with adoration and pride after being told that he helped Teerak speak-up for himself, that he's helped him become stronger. Muenfah having to catch himself after unconsciously reaching out to touch Teerak. He never wants to make him uncomfortable with his own feelings, he doesn't think they're Teerak's burden to bear. Teerak instead noticing and giving the go ahead and better directing him on how to pet/praise him. This whole cafe scene is adorable, sweet sweet boys.

A BL father willingly watching a BL series and taking the time to listen and understand. I'm shocked. I wonder if this is it as far as Teerak's dad's acceptance goes (because the book is.. different). Teerak giggling as he imagines Muenfah as the teasing and playful main lead of said BL series is interesting and cute. Got something you want to say, Teerak?

These are the worst fake daters (and siblings-in-crime) ever. Between Punlee asking why they would hold hands, Muenfah and Teerak being completely clueless as to anything couples do, and Babe being a real overprotective sister even in a fake situation.. our crew is most likely going to get caught by someone, unless they've already made everything official by then. But my dear sweet Joy, I totally get you. Rewinding 5 times to catch every detail of a show is me with Your Sky.

Real is one of my top guesses for the one who may catch them if their fake-dating sham is exposed. That is if he can work past his own gay panic with a certain red cutie in his own life. The hand-holding at school was precious, even if the head pat was awkward. AND, Teerak was wearing pink while they did it! Which I know means he's in love, (Thank you, Petty!)

I love that they addressed the fact that for some people you can't just pretend to be a couple. You have to get to know one another and make progress for it to be believable. Punlee knew something was up the moment this whole thing started but the way he watched Fah in the kitchen, he confirmed what he already suspected. (Also, as someone who loves the details, I love how the production/design team made sure to include details from the book, the cupid fountain in front of the Phisut/Pisuthi house was a nice touch!)

Muenfah is so in love with Teerak, the way he just watches him with such fondness in his eyes. Not only does he adore Teerak, but he respects him tremendously. (Ugh, Muenfah you are the dream man!) Him moving around the couch to give Teerak as much space and comfort as possible took me out! They are not only adorable but they're also hilarious. I love that Teerak noticed Muenfah's discomfort and immediately apologized. I love even more the way Muenfah waited for verbal confirmation and consent that Teerak wanted his touch and then he just went for it. Like he had been waiting his whole life for it. The arm grazing, hand-holding, immediately scooting closer so that their bodies touch, his hand rubbing up-and-down Teerak's back, the hand on his shoulder. Teerak allowed him to stop holding back and gosh if that didn't confirm how badly he wants Teerak. Get Teerak out of the kitchen, NOW. But he’s sooooo baby. I, too, would fold. I get you, Muenfah, I really do. I’m praying for you, buddy. “P’Fah, we talked about this.” Fah, let him hold your hands, please. You both want to! They’re so flirty and I don’t think either of them realize until the other person is reciprocating! Oh’s obsession is beyond weird at this point, but we see where he gets it from. His mother is an enabler and she’s just as immature as he is for wanting to get unwarranted revenge on her son’s behalf. I’m disgusted by them both.

Teerak thinks his P’Fah is so cute. The endless eye contact between these two is astounding. Couple naps are very precious. They’re getting more comfortable with each other. I KNEW it was a dream, but STILL! The kiss! The fact that it was Teerak dreaming instead of Muenfah also confirms how much Teerak is falling for Fah, even if he doesn’t understand or realize it yet. He wants Fah so bad, he’s started showing up in his dreams. He doesn’t want their relationship to be a joke or to be fake either. The way he grabbed Fah’s shirt in the dream, please. His heart pounding after waking up and looking into the real Fah’s eyes. And now he’s avoiding him. Fah looks like he wants to lose his mind until Lee brings up the possibility of it being Fah making Rak blush instead of upsetting him. And then he’s all smiles afterwards, he wants it to be Rak blushing because of him so badly. Love as a sickness is almost always such an interesting and accurate metaphor. Poor Rak doesn’t understand what’s happening to him.

I love both of these friend groups so much. I love the way everyone adores Teerak and how Muenfah will give a death glare whether someone does and/or doesn’t adore him. That moment of realization for Dom when Fah and Rak are staring at each other. The almost kiss! They were both so ready and willing to let it happen. Even Fah’s friends were shocked they were going for it. And then Babe stopped it right before we got anything! (I adore her in all her fierceness, over-protective big sister love, and general cuteness despite being so tough.) Fah wanting to take his baby home like Dom and Babe aren’t right there. :(( Fah, himself was getting ready to lose it had he gotten to kiss his boy. He had to calm down. Him coming to bring Rak some meds even though he just finished working late at night. He had to have been thinking of his sick boy all day. He is the sweetest, most thoughtful guy ever. “I care about you," as Rak’s heart immediately starts pounding in his chest. People seem to think that Fah rehearsed the head pat and the nickname but this time I think it was all him. He had no one to convince, just him and his Naughty Baby.

Gosh I am SO obsessed with them. And the book just made me love the characters even more. Next week, our sweet boys get to go to their favorite place together and they get to film romantic scenes. Teerak is considering his feelings seriously and we’re being teased about him confessing his feelings to his P’Fah. They’re both pretty great communicators so my hopes are high. I’m so excited.

[secriden]

SIMM and Dao's Love Language

I'm going to get emotional about KluenDao again because I realised something about how Kluen shows his love for Dao.

(I have a theory that) Dao's primary love language is Acts of Service:

It's the main feature of what he describes when Typhoon asks him what his "type" is.

It's how Dao shows his love for Kluen: doing Kluen's art homework for him and offering to make Kluen's mom's birthday present. It's not (just) about doing art, but specifically because it meets a need that Kluen has.

It's also how Fah and his closest friends show their love for Dao.

So lets take a look at how Kluen shows his love for Dao throughout the show:

Kluen in the "wooing" stage:

From early in the series, Kluen consistently shows his attentiveness and care via 'food/drinks as a metaphor for love', which is also a clear example of Acts of Service because he's providing for needs Dao has in the moment.

These are also both great examples of Acts of Service as Kluen either identifies and addresses a burden that Dao has or preempts a potential source of stress and offers an alternative.

Of course I had to add these moments! Making sure Dao sleeps in a proper bed, re-doing his ankle dressing, the pen + post-it note for his anxiety, and unbuttoning his sleeve so Dao has something to focus his nervous energy on. Note that 3 out of the 4 of these Acts were without (as far as the audience sees) Dao even knowing what Kluen is doing for him.

There's a reason why I find Kluen so very attractive, and it's because Acts of Service is also my love language and damn does Kluen do an amazing job of showing his care for Dao in that way!

Kluen as a boyfriend:

As soon as they become official boyfriends Kluen is constantly finding ways to do things for Dao: walking Dao to class, carrying his stuff, feeding him -- its all very sweet. I had to delete several screenshots because of the image limit jsyk. :( Kluen really does go all out in this way.

Kluen's Acts of Service only seems to escalate in Sky in my Heart. Cooking for Dao, organising a night out for Fah because Dao is worried about Fah, nursing Dao when he's not feeling well (+ the hand feeding TuT).

The cherry on top comes in the Special Episode: Is there anything that encapsulates Acts of Service more than planning to build your boyfriend his dream home, located on the beach because he loves waking up to the sea; promising that he'll have everything he needs to pursue his love of art; even planning to plant a big tree so your boyfriend won't be too hot as he paints outside??

There's so much genuine thoughtfulness and specific consideration for what will make Dao the most happy in this plan.

It's so lovely to see Dao recognise that. He's so grateful, so overwhelmed by Kluen's love (the way you can hear the tears in Dunk's voice when he says his lines - he's such an emotive actor!), not just because it's genuine and means the world to Dao after going through the pain of thinking his love was unrequited, but also because Kluen has learned specifically how to love Dao the way he understands it the best. Kluen literally learned to use the language of love for Dao - both verbally and through his actions.

And this is why I really do think Star in My Mind is genuinely quite a beautiful love story.

[islandtarochips]

Hello! You've been super nice with my content and I would like to thank you for being so kind 🥺

I have a question since I'm interested to ask! Can you tell me something about your culture and Samoan people? :D

Of course dearie! Everything that you've created is an ABSOLUTE stunning art! You and the others that I have followed!

And yeah! I would LOVE to! But just to let you know, I’m slowly learning as well since I was young. Because of how a slow learner I am but I will do my best to answer your question! (And it will be in a little detail for me to explain EVERYTHING about our culture.)

Starting off about the Samoan people. Us Samoan people are very strict with our culture. And they said that we're the most recognizable people showing it. Our dances, our music, visual arts. All of that! The Visual Arts are the most interesting thing that I've seen so far. Like the Tatau (tah-tah-oo).

The Tatau are like tattoos mainly on the thighs and waist. You can say that they're wearing like clothing. Which means they are practically...Ahem. You should know. And they said we started using this as an inspiration by the two Fijian women who came up to the shore and brought their materials and knowledge of tattooing. Next one that we're known for Visual Arts is Siapo (see-ah-poh). A Samoan word for "A fine cloth made from the bark of the Paper Mulberry tree."

The Siapo is very important for ceremony, especially the wedding occasion and the funeral service, just to wrap the dead body and put in the grave. (Since we have caskets now. We put the Siapo on TOP of the casket instead.) It's even for High Chiefs or village maiden wearing the Siapo around their waist. Like in this old photo!

(IF you can even SEE it) Now the next one is the Ie Lavalava (ee-eh lah-vah-lah-vah). An Ie Lavalava is a piece of fabric that Polynesians tie around their waists that gets worn like a skirt. Both men and women wear this type of garment in Samoa and is considered to be a traditional daily outfit used for school uniforms or work attire paired with a jacket and tie. Like this one:

(Students wearing their Ie Lavalava for school) Or this one:

(This is somewhere in the state as they allowed them to wear it in school campus. I forgot the name of the school and place.) Men and Women wear them like that. For anywhere they go. Back in the days, my dad use to tell me that women should wear an Ie whenever they go out in the village. If they don't, it goes to show that they are not respecting our people or the village for it. And nowadays, we hardly done that. I mean, there are still some of them wears an Ie when they go out but most of us aren't. I only wear an Ie when I go to another Pastor's house or go to Church. Anyway, here is some BEAUTIFUL design that they made an Ie Lavalava!

And LASTLY of the Visual Art, is Weaving. I'm sure you already know of what weaving is. For us, we weave baskets and Ie Tonga (ee-eh toh-ngh-ah). It's like the Ie Lavalava but it is made of native pandanus (lauie) tree. And it's BIGGER. I forgot if my dad told me if it was the BARK or the LEAVES they use to make it. Here is what the Ie Tonga look like:

Just like that! They use these for the funerals as a gift to show their respects. I've seen this MANY times. They use these for Fa'alavelave (fah-ah-lah-veh-lah-veh). Means "Families dig deep to help fund funeral, wedding, or other life-interrupting costs, to the tune of thousands of dollars." And oh yeah, the Samoan funerals also involves money. To help out to get the things for the high chiefs and other pastors and wives. ANYWAY, they said the I'e Toga originated from our neighboring country, Tonga. The I'e Toga was originally brought to Samoa by a Tongan lady named Fuka (foo-kah). Fuka's older sister, Lautiovogia (lah-oo-tee-oh-voh-nee-ah) the Queen of Samoa, was married to the King Tuiatua (too-ee-ah-too-ah). During Fuka's visit to Samoa, she gave her sister an I'e Toga as a gift. And that's how the Ie Tonga came into Samoa. That's about it for the Visual Art. And for the music and dances. The dancing is mostly about elegant and grace. The dances also tells the story about our ancestors and mostly about love. Just like any other countries uses their music in dancing to tell the story! Another thing about us Samoans. Samoan parents are VERY strict of disciplining their children. Like let's say....Mexican/Asian/Black mothers disciplining kind of way😅. But they're just doing that out of love. Nothing abusive. I promise. And also, there are TWO different Samoa island. One island is named ACTUALLY Samoa and there's AMERICAN Samoa (That's where I'm at right now!). The differences is. Samoa are like the independent one. Nothing owns them. Until New Zealand took Samoa under them. While American Samoa is under the US. If I remember correctly the reason why American Samoa is under the US. Is because of the Americans assisting us from the war that is going on. Going against Germany, I think. So I guessed that's how we became under the protection of the US.

Here are the two Samoan islands. Almost close but it's like 1h 12m on an airplane and 16h on a car ferry. I prefer the plane (If I didn't pack anything HEAVY. Lol.) So yeah, that's about it. Thank you @welldonekhushi for the ask and hopefully this will help you answer your question! I'm trying be detailed as I can.

[isthisspncharactertheasshole]

I want to start this by saying that I think I’m awesome. I’ve had the hardest fucking job EVER and I’ve literally done more than any other shit ass demon to start the apocalypse. Whatever. I just want you to know that I’m awesome awesome at what I do.

The part where some people think I’m an asshole is that I’ve been expertly manipulating this guy to achieve my ends. He’s this pathetic freak with a (low-key hot) chosen one thing where he drank demon blood as a kid so now he has kinda shitty magic powers. Everything would be really simple and my job would have been way easier if he could just follow his nature and be evil, but he has this guilt tripping brother who thinks the freak can grow up to be a normal boy.

Last year the brother died (part of my bestie’s evil plan) so I started booking up with the younger brother and making him develop his evil powers. It took forever cause he’s a prude, but he was so fucked up about his brother dying that I was able to make it work and pretty soon I got him drinking my blood (hot, and in line with my demonic plans.)

Everything was great until the fucking brother got resurrected by fucking angels so I had to deal with his disrespectful ass on top of angel drama (those feathery fucks are worse than demons.)

What matters is that, when the time came, I was able to convince the younger brother to drink all the blood from some random demon so that he could magically kill my friend and start the apocalypse (all part of our plan.) I convinced him by leaving out the part about how killing her would start the apocalypse and using some cool magic to make him think his brother hated him anyways.

What matters here, obviously, is that I successfully started the apocalypse, but Sam and Dean are being bitches about it so I need some validation that I was right all along? I mean, come on, who else is doing it like me. I’m awesome.

(We’re all adults btw I don’t keep track of these bitches age)

Acronym meanings

[autisticempathydaemon]

Redacted-tober 2023 Day Nine

Prompt: Asher & Story

Pairing: Asher/Bäbe

cw: none

Summary: A snippet of the Talbot family meeting Asher’s mate.

Available on AO3 here!

<- Previous Day | Next Day ->

“Show it to me,” Sherry demands as soon as the pantry door closes behind her. Asher sputters uselessly, hands on his hips, but his mother puts an end to it with one wave of her manicured hand. “Asher Chao Fah Talbot, I gave you that face, and I know when it is hiding something. I want to see it.”

“I never could get anything past you, Ma,” Asher says with a shake of the head, shaggy blonde-highlighted bangs framing his face and boyish grin. Out his pocket comes a plain black ring box, and Asher opens it excitedly to reveal a gold band with an orange stone inlay. Even in the dim pantry ceiling light, it gleams and glimmers like flames.

“Ooh, that’s a pretty thing,” Sherry says with a low, appreciative whistle. “Milo helped you pick that out, did he?”

“Heyyy!” Asher shoves the box back into his pocket with an affronted whine and big puppy dog eyes that never worked on her for a minute. “You don’t know that-”

“I do, because he told Marie who told me, and your mate will know too if you dilly dally.” Sherry shoves the container of rice into his chest and a wagging, admonishing finger in his face. “You go propose to that delightful person out there before they see sense.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Asher starts to ask when his mother turns him around and out the pantry door, into the busy dining room.

“Here, Sherley’s about two and a half. This is the time he made friends with the neighborhood dog and figured ‘hey, I’ll be a wolf one day. I’ll pee like one.’ Dad says-”

“Maddy!” Asher yells, melodramatically throwing himself on top of the open photo album between his sister and his mate. “They don’t need to hear the Captain Canine story, come on!”

note: I named his mom Sherry after a couple at the farmers market I really like, and Asher’s middle name is Prince in Thai 🧡

[dribs-and-drabbles]

Vice Versa ep 10

Oh the pink and red/blue and purple of it all.

First, I can't believe I predicted something so spot on! It's their pink. When I wrote the below, I was just hoping I was on the right track but to have Puen say it himself at the end? 🤯💯

What else can I say? Other than now that Puen and Talay are together, and following on from all the scenes with these colours in ep 9, there were again a lot of these pairings in the scenes with Puen and Talay. Starting with the opening scene:

Then the editing room:

Fuse and Kita at the film premiere...and the red wall behind Kita and the sky blue of the film poster to the right of Fuse (also Up in a blue suit):

Then all the friends together:

Even in the brief bar scene there's the blue/purple lights on the wall and the blue jeans with Up's red sweater, the red drum kit, and Talay's pink trousers:

And at the food stall, pink behind Puen and the group and blue to the right (the extra in the middle also has a blue and red striped top):

In the close up of Puen, he's in red and the blue lights are behind him:

Back at Talay's apartment (the lights have been different colours throughout the series), and not once...

...but twice...with the blue on Talay's side and the pink on Puen's:

And in Puen's very blue room, he pulls out Pakorn's favourite boxers (there is also a red 'bust' to the right of the room visible in the wider frame shot):

And finally, Talay's suit - blue with pink pinstripes:

So at this point, I think it's clear that Pink is and always has been Puen's colour...and @nolastpage, you mentioned in your tags on a reblog of my post that you hoped we'll get to see Talay's colour...well, I think Talay's colour is blue. First, his name means 'sea'. Second, the very first ep was Ocean Blue. Third, he wears a blue bracelet in this universe. And fourth, all these blue/purple and red/pink pairings lean towards it being on the blue-indigo scale.

In both a support of this and also to make things a bit confusing, in ep 7, Puen sees some lights when he's out with Pang -> "blue, orange, light blue (I think he says "si fah" which is blue but 'fah' alone is sky), and pink" - and wonders what to call the 'tone' of these colours. Pang suggests "Talay" or 'sea'. This could indicate a few things -> that Talay's colour is the blue in that mix (because Puen is the pink), that Talay really is a blend of all those colours, or that Talay's colour is whatever you interpret 'sea' to be - potentially the blue of the water with a pink sky and orange sun...much like this perhaps? (actually, I don't think this helps at all 😂 It's maybe just a cool connection).

Anyway, so it could be that we'll continue to get these colours in ep 11...but, whilst Puen and Talay are separated, I think there'll be an absence of them. At least around Talay there'll be less pink and around Puen there'll be less blue. But I might be wrong.

(What is interesting is that when I go back and look at some of those scenes with pink and blue, there is often some orange or a sunlight-type glow...seriously, scroll back up and have a l👀k).

In part 2 of ep 10, Puen and Talay talk about how Talay has ended up 'liking' pink because it reminds him of Puen. They come to the conclusion that this is the thing that they have in common and will enable them to get back to their own universe. Whilst this may or may not be true, in writing the above about the moment in ep 7, I was reminded that Puen has also picked up something from Talay - he adopted the habit of naming colours because Talay usually does it. So perhaps it's not just the colour pink that connects Puen and Talay but ALL colours, naming colours, and being aware of them...

But actually, it might be more than that. Because, thankfully, being each other's portkey ended up NOT being about them falling in love...but more about about how they change each other in the process of falling in love. About how pink goes from being something Talay hates to something that makes him think of Puen. And Puen starts to see colour, be aware of it, and name and associate colours with people and places just like Talay does... Make of that what you will.

Anyway... I loved that they both seemed so on board and on equal footing about saying their goodbyes and preparing to leave and that they were both committed to going back when it happens. Only, it happened for Puen but not for Talay...yet! I wrote a whole load on this here, so I won't repeat myself...

So next week?! Well...here I come with my clown predictions... because I've mentioned a few times now that I've wondered if we might get a reversal of the first three episodes -> we've had the Pink to go with the Soft Blush (which I LOVED that Talay called Puen's pink colour 'shy' when Soft Blush was when they started connecting), so perhaps next week will be a green (a 'sea' green maybe?), and then we'll get a blue to finish it up. I have a theory (and share it with @grapejuicegay) that Dol might actually be Talay's portkey (that they might be the person we see in the overhead shot with Talay in his dream) and it was interesting during their goodbyes that Dol had a blue and green striped top with a pale green shirt over the top:

And then, the wishes on the tree are blue, pink, and green. I mean, come on! This is just screaming at me. (The title screen also blended green with pink before it settled on the latter).

But, you know, I might be wrong. Ep 11 might also be something quite neutral in vibrancy (I wonder about a beige/sand palette) due to Puen and Talay's separation...but whatever, I could go on and on, so I'll stop 😊 (oh and I talk about Fuse, his shirts, and Aou here).

[Ep 1] [Ep 2] [Ep 3] [Ep 4] [Ep 5] [Ep 6] [Ep 7] [Ep 8] [Ep 9] [Ep 10] [Ep 11] [Ep 12]

The ramblings of this post brought to you by the pinkest beer I think I've ever had. It's not bad...a little sweet...the Brewdog with just guava is better, I think. It's the raspberry that tips it over the sweet edge. Oh and it wasn't intentional at all, purely a coincidence that I was drinking it whilst writing this post 😄

[namtanlovesfilm]

axelle judges bl shows > Star and Sky: Sky In Your Heart

summary: After a drunk driving accident, Fah gets sent to a small village in the north as a punishment. There, he meets Prince, a teacher who immediately catches his eye.

where to watch: youtube

grade: 8/10

pros:

- the chemistry was lovely. I loved this pairing so much & I think they worked great together. definitely the selling factor of the show for me!

- the setting is always just... fucking nice. like not only are shows that do not take place in bangkok incredibly refreshing, but they’re a must to show as much of thai culure as you can. here, bc this setting was already familiar to pretty much everyone thanks to 1000 stars, the show spends much less time introducing them to us but still gives us a wonderful insight into the lives of northern villagers.

- the characters were just lovely. contrarily to star in my mind, I loved both main characters. fah is very fun to follow & made absolutely adorable by mek’s facial expressions, while prince is just SO damn easy to love. all of the other characters, be it jj, mesa, yaya or the kids, are great as well :)

cons:

- they definitely rushed some things in my opinion, notably the last episode. the conflict is already pulled out from nothing just to create temporary drama and draw out the climax of the story, but on top of that I genuinely felt like this should’ve been a longer show? I know right, the fact that I’m saying that as a short series lover is shocking. I just feel like everything just went too fast: the flirting, the conflicts... and that made the writing weaker in general. it actually had the potential to be much greater with the great chemistry & setting, yet bc of that it wasn’t fully imo.

- no shade to kluendao, but tell me WHY they literally got featured more in the show than the main fucking couple?? like some of their appearances totally made sense, but others were forced just for the sake of fanservice, which was so annoying, especially since obviously fahprince only had one small ass scene in star in my mind. honestly I skipped all of their scenes I was just over it.

would I rewatch it: yeah

This is not a revolutionary show by any means but I really enjoyed it. Would definitely recommend since it’s so short :)

[telli1206]

“I thought you said to tickle him!” “I said tackle! Tackle!” (Jaylos tourney fluff perchance? 💖💖)

Yay! Thanks for the idea @hersilentlanguage, this is such a cute one 😊💖💖💖

-----

Carlos slumps along slowly, begrudgingly following behind Jay and Mal with a resigned scowl on his face. He won't even acknowledge Evie, even though he can feel her eyes on him. He already knows the sweet, wide-eyed sympathetic stare he'd be met with if he looked her way. And he's not in the mood to do anything but wallow right now.

"'Los, come on," she pleads softly, reaching for his hand. Carlos doesn't pull away from Evie's touch, but he still refuses to look at her. "It's just, a little bit of practice. It'll be over before you know it."

"Yeah, until the next time Jay thinks we need to run extra drills," he grumbles. "And the next time. And the time after that."

Evie sighs, using her grip on Carlos' hand to pull him in towards her.

"He just...wants both of you to be in tip-top shape. For Tourney," she tries to argue, using her free hand to rub his shoulder soothingly. "He's trying to be, helpful.”

Carlos groans as he lets his head drop on her shoulder. “But. It’s too much! He loves sports, not me! I don’t want to play Tourney 24/7!”

Evie perks a brow. “Oh come on now, Carlos. This isn’t like you. Since when do you whine about things??”

“Since I’m being forced into Tourney drills against my will!” Carlos exclaims, gesturing wildly at Jay. But his boyfriend is already on the field with Mal, pouring over his personal copy of their playbook and explaining the drills to her. He’s oblivious to Carlos’ distress, and it’s enough to make Carlos want to tackle him to the ground right now and smack some sense into him.

“We should be having fun right now!” he argues, still whining as he stomps the rest of the way to the field. “Who would want to do this on a Friday night??”

“That guy you’re dating,” Evie teases. She tries to hide her growing smile in her hand when she catches Carlos’ glare. “Hey, since when can’t we make anything fun, anyway? We don’t have to play by Jay’s rules, you know.”

Carlos gives her a questioning look. “Did you...have something in mind?”

Evie drops her hand, letting the smile splay across her lips. She casts a glance at Jay and Mal, before giving Carlos a wicked smirk. “Just follow my lead, ok?”

Finally, Evie wins a tiny smile from Carlos. “You know I will,” he chuckles quietly, grabbing her by the arm to pull her alongside him again.

-----

“Ready, C?”

Jay ducks into a running stance, watching for Carlos’ nod. “Ok, cause I’m not holding back! Mal!-” Jay diverts his attention to the girl behind him. “Count us out!”

Carlos sighs, crouching into a sprinting position. He can’t muster any desire to do this, but dammit, he’s never been able to say no to Jay. Besides, his boyfriend can be hot as hell when he’s being all competitive and athletic. He just...really, really wishes he could put Jay’s muscles to better use right now.

“You got this, Carlos!”

He beams when he catches Evie’s cheers, giving her a wide smile when he glances her way. Evie’s already wrapped herself around Mal, squeezing her shoulders as she shouts encouragement at Carlos, and the purplette is smirking and shaking her head as her girlfriend bounces gleefully at her side.

“You’ll get him! Tickle- I mean tackle! Tackle him hard, Carlos! You can do it!”

She flashes him a toothy smile, and Carlos doesn’t miss the mischievous gleam in her eyes. Evie brushes Mal off when she gives her a calculated look, but Carlos only grins and throws a knowing wink before dropping back into place ahead of Mal’s count.

Mal raises a brow at Evie, who simply smiles right back at her, keeping her gaze on Mal instead of Carlos. Satisfied with Evie’s now quiet compliance, Mal shrugs and turns back to Jay.

“Alright, on the count of three!! One...two...three!”

Jay takes off like a shot, his legs moving so fast it almost looks like he’s flying. Carlos still gives him a moment before sprinting after him, though. He’s always been more sprightly than Jay, and if there’s one advantage he has besides his brains, it’s his speed. 

Even with the headstart, once Carlos breaks into a run he’s next to Jay in  seconds, and he waits for Jay’s recognition and shock before diving at him and grabbing for his ankles. Carlos takes him down quickly and with a resounding oomph, all the wind escaping Jay’s lungs upon impact with the solid dirt of the Tourney field.

“Fah-fah-f-fuuuck, C,” Jay pants out, almost completely breathless. “How in the hell-”

He sucks in a breath, gasping it out desperately when Carlos’ fingers make contact with his sides, moving up and down speedily across what Carlos knows is a very vulnerable area for Jay. And Jay is rendered helpless, his body jerking and twisting against a now obvious tickling attack. 

Carlos is relentless in movements, his tongue poking out in silent glee as his hands continue their attack, leaving Jay a wriggling mess underneath him, fighting for breath and choking out strangled, broken laughter.

“Y-y-you li-li-ttle...sh-hi-hi-t!” he wheezes, finally breaking free with frantic kicks to the dirt, sliding out from under Carlos and making the boy slump to the ground, still chuckling. He squeals when Jay snatches him up then and slings him easily over his shoulder, before breaking out into a jog across the field.

“J-jay! Stoppppp!” Carlos whines as he bounces on Jay’s shoulder. “I-I swear. It wasn’t my idea! Blame Evie!” But Jay doesn’t slow down, shaking his head as he still coughs a little for air.

“Oh really? Don’t you worry, C, I’ll exact my revenge on her too! Oh Eeeeevie!”

Evie had been giggling at the boys’ display, but her eyes widen at the sound of Jay’s shrill taunt. She yanks at Mal’s hand suddenly, pulling her into a run as Jay starts to close in on them.

“No! nonono! Jay, it wasn’t me!” She yells as they run. Mal’s mouth hangs open, and she glares menacingly at Evie as she stumbles and trips behind her.

“I-I thought you said to tickle him!” Carlos insists, coughing out little giggles as Jay tightens his hold on his waist and picks up speed.

“I said tackle. TACKLE!” Evie lies, darting awkwardly to the side to change paths. “C’mon Mals, if...if we can get him to follow us to Mrs. Potts, maybe we can distract Jay with ice cream!”

Mal rolls her eyes, a smile curling on her lips as she takes in Evie’s flailing run. Thanks to her heels, it’s awkward and jagged, but also unbelievably adorable, just like everything else Evie does.

“Fine, babe, but if it doesn’t work I’m not bailing you out of this one,” Mal teases. “You and Carlos got into this mess all by yourselves, so you can deal with it! I’m just in it for the ice cream.”

Feel free to send me a Descendants drabble request from this list - I’ll write any ship! I really need to garner some motivation for my WIPs 😁

[heretherebedork]

A great list! Now, name your top 10 (or maybe not even 10 could be more or less) worst tier BL couples or couples that made u eyeroll and say "person A deserves better than Person B" and why

lol I can try!

MorkPi I mean... yep! Pi deserved so much better

Nine, Daonuea and Tee Frankly, Tee deserves better but Daonuea also still deserves. Only Nine deserves to be caught here.

KinnPorsche I dunno even how to do this, honestly. But Porsche just kind of deserved a show that treated him better in general?

FahPrince Prince deserved so much better than to get ghosted for a month because his fucking ex told someone not to talk to Fah and then not to get any apologies? No thank you.

AkkTheo Akk deserved so much better.

Mario and Jethro Mario just fucking sucked and Jethro wasn't great but he deserved better than that middle school shit.

NaweeAioun Aioun deserved better. Nawee deserved counseling but also a long time not in a relationship and apologizing to people.

ThanuYu They just... both needed to be with other people.

Ze Shou and Li Gong Honestly, Ze Shou deserved an actual damn apology.

LeonPob Leon had to turn himself into a totally different person for Pob and everyone cheered and I hated it.

There are more, including one very icky one from LBC2... but we don't speak of that couple.

[codynaomiswireart]

Gauze in the Wound - Part 24

“‘In sterquiliniis invenitur’ – in filth it will be found. This is perhaps the prime ‘alchemical’ dictum. What you need most is always to be found where you least wish to look. … In rejecting our errors, we gain short-term security – but throw away our identity with the process that allows us to transcend our weaknesses and tolerate our painfully limited lives. …In participating in the process, the alchemists identified with the exploratory hero, and turned themselves unconsciously…into ‘that which redeems.’ This identification was complicated by the fact the the alchemist also considered himself as partaking of the state of matter – as belonging in the ‘state necessitating redemption.’ This basically meant that the alchemist viewed himself, at least in part, as occupying the same category as ‘matter’ (as well as being that which could become ‘gold,’ and which could aid in the transformation). … The alchemist was an unredeemed, suffering man, in search of an inexpressible ideal.”

~ Jordan Peterson, Maps of Meaning: The Architecture of Belief

“‘But I am not your judge. We must go to your true judges now. I am to bring you there.’ ‘My judges?' ‘Why, yes, child. The gods have been accused by you. Now’s their turn.’ ‘I cannot hope for mercy.’ ‘Infinite hopes – and fears – may both be yours. Be sure that, whatever else you get, you will not get justice.’ ‘Are the gods not just?’ ‘Oh no, child. What would become of us if they were?’”

~ The Fox and Queen Oruel, Till We Have Faces by C. S. Lewis

------------------------------

“Cursed short arms!” the un-man grumbled, reaching to pull himself up the rocky slope. What had begun as such a delight in wearing the boy’s form was now becoming annoying as he climbed his way up the mountain. While Zhan Tiri did have some of his additional strength to assist him, even that couldn’t make up for the smaller stature he now donned. But it would be worth it soon. Soon he would be back in his original body, and then he could really get to work!

“And as for the boy,” he thought aloud as he pulled himself up. “He’ll still be useful until I can get the actual Moonstone for myself. If he behaves, I might even let him join me as a disciple! Now wouldn’t that be nice – the Heir of Demanitus as my servant! Ha ha! Come to think of it, it’s been a long time since I’ve had any competent servants.”

The un-man scowled now, thinking of his previous pawns. “Curse them,” he spat, gripping another rock. “Inept fools. And Gothel! That traitorous, vain, sniveling coward! Stuck around just long enough to get her hands on the incantation, and then what did she do? She went and hoarded the Sundrop for herself! Fah! I should’ve figured. She was always the worst of my followers. Tromus may still be of some use I suppose. And Sugracha…Well…” the demon grinned wickedly. “She had her chance…and I’ve made use of what was left.”

Zhan Tiri gave another grunt of exertion as he finally reached the top of the rocky gorge he’d been scaling. The land had changed a bit since he’d last been there. The trails leading up to Janus Point had become rough and overgrown now. He could remember the days when it was well-worn from those who traveled there to engage in dark rituals. Now it was all a deserted wasteland – nearly forgotten like a bad dream by those living in the kingdom below.

“But not for long,” he thought as he adjusted the mirror strapped to his shoulders, continuing his hike. “Soon, their nightmare will rise again!”

---------------------------------

Varian blinked, his brain trying to catch up with what had just happened, like suddenly waking up from a dream. He felt like he couldn’t move. Part of him didn’t want to move. A part of him wanted all time to freeze here like this. He almost didn’t care if it might all be an illusion fed into his brain.

Xavier was here. Ruddiger was here. His friends were here. Xavier said it would be all right now.

But-

Varian nearly shoved Xavier away, as panic began to bubble up from the depths of his mind as his train of thought went from a standstill to rushing a million miles an hour.

“Wha-What are you doing here!?” Varian asked Xavier, looking up wide-eyed at the blacksmith, the boy’s fists clutching in desperation at the man’s shirt.

Xavier only smiled reassuringly at Varian. “It’s all right Varian. We figured it out. You’re going to be all right. We’ve come to get you out of here!”

Varian continued to stare at him, shaking his head in disbelief.

Noticing his apprentice’s demeanor, Xavier laid his hands on Varian’s shoulders, trying to steady him. “Easy Varian, easy. It’s all right. I’m here now. Really! You’re going to be ok.” Xavier then looked to study the vines that bound Varian’s wrists and ankles, holding one of them in his grasp as Ruddiger also gave them a sniff. The raccoon’s fur stood on end, and he hissed as he detected the dark magic pulsing within the glowing tendrils. Xavier’s brow furrowed, and he began reaching into one of his pockets.

“Wait, what’re you doing?” Varian asked.

“Don’t worry Varian,” Xavier said, pulling a small folding knife from his pocket. “I’ll cut you free, and then we can-” “NO!” Varian screamed, grabbing Xavier’s wrist to stop him before he could make the first incision. “No no! If-if you tamper with the vines, he might notice you’re here and-” Varian’s voice cut out, he swallowed hard, and Xavier could feel the boy clutch even tighter at the fabric of his shirt. “‘He?’” Xavier repeated, becoming still. “Who is ‘he’? Varian, what’s going on? Who did this to you?” But Varian’s expression began to take on a faraway look again, and Xavier could see Varian was struggling to breathe. “Z-…Zhan Tiri-” Varian just managed to choke out. And then, the boy began to hyperventilate, grabbing Xavier again, and shouting. “Wh-why are you here!? You need to stop him! You’re just wasting time with me! Why did you just let him-!? He could be…I-I can’t! Why did you come here!? No! No no no! He’s going to get away-!”

“Varian!”

Varian stopped shouting, but now only shook his head as he buried his face in his arms. “Varian!” Xavier tried again, trying to snap Varian out of whatever attack he was experiencing. But the boy only continued to quiver and breathe in quick, shallow breaths.

Just like that one day…

Xavier was unsure about what was going on, and Varian mentioning Zhan Tiri had not escaped him, but this much he knew – Varian needed help now, and he had to bring him back around before they could do anything else.

“Varian,” Xavier said again, this time in a much calmer tone, and giving Varian’s shoulders a comforting squeeze. “Varian, look at me, please.”

There was a long pause, and for a moment Xavier thought Varian wouldn’t comply. But soon enough, Varian managed to bring his face up to look Xavier in the eye, the boy’s expression utterly pained.

“It’s all right,” the blacksmith said. And again, like before, Varian opened his mouth to protest such a notion.

“N-no! No no, it’s not all right!” Varian cried, curling in on himself again. “Don’t lie to me! Can’t you see that we’re-!?” But Varian then felt himself being pulled into another hug, his mentor’s strong arms wrapped around him protectively. “Shh, it’s all right, Varian. It’s all right,” Xavier repeated again, as if the soul-crushing reality had no bearing on them in the present moment. Which of course was ridiculous, Varian thought. But in that moment, Xavier sounded so confident, that Varian almost believed him. “It’s all right.”

Xavier then pulled away again, steadying Varian’s shoulders. “I need you to breathe with me now, ok?” But Varian shook his head. “No! I can’t-! We- He’s going to-!” “Breathe in,” Xavier continued on, gently but insistently. When Varian didn’t respond at first, he tried again. “Breathe in…” Varian then also felt Ruddiger nuzzle into his side, and the little creature looked up at Varian with sad but encouraging eyes. “Please!” he seemed to be saying.

Finally, Varian felt his resistance start to give way, and though faltering at first, Varian managed to get in a slower inhale.

“Good,” Xavier said, a tone of relief entering his voice. “Now, breathe out…” And Varian did, though shakily. “Good. Again, breathe in… Hold… Breathe out…”

This went on for another few repetitions, and Varian did try to mirror what Xavier was telling him to do. But constantly Varian had thoughts flit in and out of his mind that caused his breath to hitch when they hit him. “We’re running out of time! I’m trapped here and I can’t get out! Why did Xavier come for me!? Zhan Tiri’s going to use me to come back, and it’s all my fault! It’s all my fault! It’s all my fault! It’s-”

“It’s all my fault…” Before Varian could think to stop himself, his voice betrayed his thoughts, and he could feel tears gathering at the corners of his eyes at his quivering words.

“No, it isn’t, Varian,” Xavier tried reassuringly. “C’mon, stay with me now. It’s going to be all right. I’m sure whatever’s going on, we can-”

But Varian shook his head. “No! It’s-it’s not going to be all right!” he cried, and through his sobs he began to tell Xavier everything; everything about Zhan Tiri slipping through the warp in time and space the other night, to meeting Zhan Tiri in the depths of his psyche, to how Zhan Tiri tricked him into believing he was really Lord Demanitus, and how – worst of all – Varian had believed him when he talked about them using the Moonstone’s power to go back in time and undo all of the bad things that had befallen Varian, and all the bad things that he himself had done.

Varian wanted to blame Zhan Tiri for all of this. He had been a liar, after all. Was it Varian’s fault that he had been deceived? Didn’t that make it better? Weren’t his motivations good in the end? That is, to go back and set things the way they should’ve been?

…But no. Varian knew the truth. Zhan Tiri wouldn’t have been able to entice Varian into his plans if Varian wasn’t already vulnerable to it. True, there were circumstances that were beyond his control. Perhaps it wasn’t all his fault. But some of it definitely was, and it also didn’t help that he had been so bitter towards everyone, driving away those who wanted to help him. If only he hadn’t been so desperate to run away from what had already been stamped into his history, perhaps he wouldn’t be in this even bigger mess now.

If he had only hung on instead of let go the other day when Rapunzel had appeared. Not that it was really her, probably. But if he didn’t give in to his anger…his hatred…

“…I’ve ruined everything…” was all Varian could say as he came to the end of his account, and he sat back with his shoulders drooped, and hands dropping from Xavier’s shirt into his own lap. Varian was so tired – physically and emotionally. He could feel the weight of all he had done pressing down on his already tired shoulders, and sling itself round his chest like lead-heavy snakes. And he was so useless now, too. Zhan Tiri had a hold of him. Even if he wanted to use his powers against Zhan Tiri now, the vines clinging to him would only channel it for Zhan Tiri’s own use. And in here, in this dark place, he had no access to alchemy or tools or anything else he might be able to fight back with.

“…You have to go.”

“What?” Xavier asked, clearly surprised by Varian’s words. Miserably, Varian looked up at Xavier through his bangs.

“You need to get out of here. Both of you.” Here Varian turned also to Ruddiger, who looked up at the boy with bewildered eyes. “Y-you’re just wasting time here. Zhan Tiri isn’t going to Old Corona. That was another lie to throw you off his plans. He’s going to Janus Point to-” Varian swallowed. “He’s…he’s going to try to use my magic to bring himself back – all the way back – where the veil is thin. You have to catch up to him before he can-”

“We’ve already tried, Varian.” “What?” Varian asked, looking at Xavier in astonishment.

Xavier frowned. “Varian, after Zhan Tiri made sure he got passed the guards, he used your magic to trap us here in Molson’s Grove with a great wall of black rocks. We can’t go anywhere.” “No…” Varian whispered, hugging himself. Yes, he had felt Zhan Tiri call upon his powers a couple of times earlier that evening, but he had no idea (and dreaded to think of) what the warlock had used them for. “That is,” Xavier said, once again setting his hands on Varian’s shoulders. “We can’t go anywhere without you. We need you to take down that wall, Varian.”

“B-but I can’t!” Varian shouted, grasping one of the vines in his hands and holding it up, as if Xavier needed a visual aid to get the situation through to him. “Look Xavier! I’m trapped here! And-and without my doppelgänger I won’t be able to get out!”

“That’s why Ruddiger is here,” Xavier explained, and Ruddiger immediately pricked up at the sound of his name. “The dark mirror has no affect on him, and he brought you back from the dream depths before. I have a hunch that he can also help to get you out of here, bypassing the need for a doppelgänger swap!”

Varian stared at Xavier, then at Ruddiger. Could Xavier be right? Could such a trick really work!?

“But first,” Xavier began again, reaching once more for his pocket knife.

“N-no!” Varian tried again to stop the blacksmith, grabbing at his wrist. “What if that makes him know you’re here!? What if he-?”

Varian then stopped, Xavier turning to look at him with an expression that Varian had never seen on the blacksmith before. Or, at least, not this intense. Varian had seen something similar to it when Xavier had been in battle before – a steeliness and determination that would make most anyone flinch if it were directed at them. But this time…

“We have to try, Varian. No matter what it takes, I won’t leave you here like this. I won’t let Zhan Tiri do this to you!”

Before Varian could say anything else to this, Xavier firmly but gently pried Varian’s hands from his wrist, and brought his hand down to lay the first strike on the eerie, glowing vines.

-------------------------

Zhan Tiri staggered, feeling as if a dart had just suddenly been lodged into his chest. Had he stumbled into something in the dark and not seen it? Was there a hunter or a bandit nearby that had taken a shot at him?

But as Zhan Tiri looked down to examine where the pain came from, he found no arrow or dart sticking out of his avatar. Although, he did see beneath his clothing the dim glow of green, indicating that some sort of injury had been done to him, even if only a small one. “How in the-? Aaah!” the warlock cried, feeling the incision hit deeper. What was going on!?

With haste, the demon pressed his fingers against his temples, and focused his concentration along the vines that extended out his back and into the mirror. There, he of course saw the alchemist – disheveled, weak and distressed, as he should be – but he also saw-

“Aah!” the un-man cried again, a third blow nearly causing his legs to buckle from underneath him, and breaking his concentration for a second. “No,” he hissed to himself harshly. “Why that meddling old-!”

Thinking quickly, the un-man again sent his consciousness down the string of vines, and conjuring a few more from his back in the process. It may take a lot out of him in his current form, but he was too close now! He could not afford to lose this chance!

“I’ll make you pay for this,” the demon growled as he launched his counter-attack.

----------------------------

Varian’s eyes widened in horror as Xavier delivered that first blow to the vine. As the steel of Xavier’s knife struck the glowing tendril, sparks spewed up from where he had managed to make an incision in the thick skin. However, Varian also noticed something else as Xavier braced himself for another blow. The knife had begun to glow green as well, and Varian managed to catch sight of what looked like steam rising from its handle. He could also see Xavier setting his teeth to keep himself from dropping the weapon as he began to feel the pain.

“NO!” Varian screamed, trying to catch Xavier’s wrist again to stop him. “Stop! Stop! It’s hurting you!”

But Xavier only responded with holding Varian back with his free arm, and bringing his hand down for another cut, grimacing as the knife glowed even brighter.

Varian remembered what Xavier had said – about when he had crushed Mila’s hand all those years ago. It was an injury that caused her to give up blacksmithing for good.

Was Xavier really about to-!?

“XAVIER, PLEASE! STOP!” Varian cried again, but Xavier brought the knife down for yet another strike, his hand itself now also starting to look green. If he kept this up for much longer, and if he tried to cut all of the vines this way…

In desperation, Varian tried to summon some of the magic inside of him. He had to try to do something to help Xavier before the man permanently crippled himself on his behalf. But as Varian felt the magic well up inside of him, he also felt it leave him, like water down a drain. Instead of the black rocks doing as Varian wanted, they sprang up to form a kind of cage around Xavier, with even more vines snaking their way between them to grab at the blacksmith, causing Xavier to drop his knife. Varian tried to make a lunge for the fallen blade, but was suddenly jerked back as the tendrils holding him dragged him away across the floor. Ruddiger then made his attempt for the knife, but flinched back as his snout got close to the heat rising from it. He then had to scurry and dodge as another vine tried a grab at him, and began chasing him around the chamber.

“You fools!” a voice boomed around the chamber, causing Varian to flinch at the sound of it, for Zhan Tiri of course would use his own voice. “Did you really think you could stop me now? I won’t go down so easily!”

Xavier looked frightened only for a moment as the situation sank in. But then, the man summoned again that steely determination from before, and resumed struggling against his bonds. This only caused Zhan Tiri to chuckle at the blacksmith’s futile efforts.

“Ah, so this is the best that Demanitus could leave behind for his vanguard, eh?” the demon’s voice said mockingly. “An old codger who barely understands the great mysteries he proports to love, and an impulsive child with a ruined life. If only you both weren’t so annoying, I could hardly have asked for better conditions!”

At these words, Xavier looked over at Varian, noticing that the boy had ceased struggling to get out of his own bonds, and now lay there limply on the floor again, like when Xavier first found him here.

“Varian!” Xavier shouted, but Varian didn’t appear to hear him. “Varian, don’t listen to him! Don’t give up!”

“Oh yes, that’s right old man,” Zhan Tiri interjected again, a smile in his voice. “Keep leading the boy on with false hopes, as usual.”

Xavier glared at the cursed mirror’s gateway.

“Honestly, do you really wish to tell the boy that he can come back from all this? From all he has done? Even if you were to get out of here, even if you were to defeat me, what would be left for him? He belongs to me now!”

“There’s still his father!” Xavier said. “We still have to free him!”

There was a long pause after this, only to be followed by another smiling tone from the demon as he said, “You really are cruel, aren’t you master blacksmith? Why can’t you just admit to the boy that his father must be dead now?”

Xavier couldn’t see Varian’s face from the way the boy was laying, but he did see Varian’s side seize up at these words, his breath stopping.

“You don’t know that!” Xavier retorted back.

“But if he were?” Zhan Tiri continued. “If he were dead, there would be no one left for the boy. He feels it himself – after all he’s done, no one else would be there for him. Nobody else would love him. It would be a shame to even associate with him on any level! Well, aside from his jailor of course. And if his father were somehow still alive, what would he say once he was free? He certainly wouldn’t be proud of the boy, now would he?”

At these words, Varian finally did move, but only to curl himself into a tight ball, the guilt of everything clearly crushing him into the ground. Ruddiger tried to get to him from where he had taken shelter in a basket in the corner, but the vine that had stalked him kept him at bay.

Xavier looked between the dark mirror and where Varian lay. Varian really was believing what the un-man was saying! Xavier knew that if Varian only thought about things for just a moment – really thought about them – all of this darkness would be dispelled. Of course Quirin really loved Varian! He had sacrificed himself for his son, after all! And as for the others? Varian may not realize it, but despite those out there who would write him off as hopeless and irredeemable, there were also those who were willing to give him another chance should he but ask for it and take it. But Xavier knew that doubts coupled with grief and guilt could be a terribly oppressive force. Life could not be expected to always be solved by purely rational means. Certainly not irrational, but sometimes merely thinking and rationalizing weren’t enough.

…Sometimes, you had to act.

“I would be there.”

Another pause followed Xavier’s words.

“What?” the demon asked, but Xavier ignored him.

“Varian,” Xavier called his name again, and Varian just managed to look up at him from his circle of torment.

“Varian, listen to me – you are still my apprentice. No matter what happens, you can always come home to me, all right? And-”

Now here Xavier said one of the last things that anyone in that room expected him to say, and if Varian had heard him say it months or even a few weeks ago, he would’ve been deeply offended by it. But as things were now…

“And I forgive you, Varian.”

Varian appeared to be thrown for a few full seconds, his brain also trying to catch up with what he just heard. “What?” the alchemist asked in a small voice.

“I forgive you, Varian,” Xavier repeated. “For any wrong you have done to me, it’s over now. It doesn’t need to cling to you anymore. You can let it go.”

Varian blinked at his mentor, then grimaced, shaking his head. “No! Y-you don’t mean that!”

“I do Varian.”

“No you don’t!” Varian almost screamed. “Stop lying to me! How could you just say things like that!?”

“Exactly!” Zhan Tiri chimed in. “He’s just saying whatever it takes to sway you into doing whatever he wants you to do! Especially with how he is now, how could anyone say that it’s over when he’s here like this?”

“Oh, you mean like this?” Xavier asked, his eyes scanning the vines and black rock cage around him as if they were somehow not that bad. “Oh Varian, I’ve been held by far worse chains and prisons than these.”

“…Wha-what are you talking about?” Varian asked hoarsely.

“Do you remember, Varian? When I told you about Mila? What I had done then, the guilt that I had felt – those were some of the worst things to have ever held me in bondage. Worse than the Saporians, and worse than even Zhan Tiri’s now. Granted,” Xavier said through gritted teeth as Zhan Tiri threateningly tightened his grip, “they are quite terrible. But while we may physically be held captive here, our hearts need not be, Varian. Mila set mine free, as well as her own, all those years ago. How could I not do the same for you?”

For a flickering moment, it looked like the light almost came back into Varian’s eyes. Could it be possible? Could he…could he really be forgiven for the things he’d done? Could he really, in another sense, “go back?”

But his thoughts were interrupted with another eery chuckle from the un-man. “Oh, my my my, what nonscensical fluff we are witnessing this evening.” The demon scoffed at Xavier. “Oh please, master blacksmith! Do you really mean to continue to insult the boy’s intelligence, or tempt him with pie-in-the-sky thinking? And even if it were true. If ‘your hearts could be free’ as you so pathetically claim, what good does that do, hmm? Hmm? Would the boy not still be in the same circumstances as he is now?”

A dreadful pause followed, and Varian lost all hope again. Of course Zhan Tiri was right. Even if in this moment Varian somehow believed Xavier’s words, he was still in the same situation as before. He was still imprisoned. He was still an outcast, a criminal, all but an orphan. Nothing would really change for him.

“So was Mila,” Xavier now continued, earning another surprised look up from Varian. “So was I. Granted, you could claim our circumstances were on a smaller scale, but the loss was still real. It affected both of our lives in a deep way. When Mila decided to forgive me, her outward circumstances did not change. She never-” Xavier swallowed the lump in his throat at the memory. “She never practiced her smithing craft again. But her willingness to forgive set her free from remaining trapped in that moment. She did something new instead. It wasn’t in her plans. Her loss wasn’t fair. But she made her choice. She chose for change on the inside, and that allowed for change on the outside. It changed her life, and it changed mine. She let go of her anger and bitterness, and was able to strive for good – to wish for another’s good, and for her own good, even in the given circumstances. She didn’t wait to feel good about me or about herself before she did that. And she- Gah! Mmph!”

Varian’s eyes widened in fright as Xavier’s mouth was suddenly gagged with more glowing green vines that sprouted up. “Ugh, that’s enough of that,” Zhan Tiri’s voice came again, trying to sound bored with the situation. …But Varian could tell by the urgency of Zhan Tiri’s action, that it was more than mere annoyance that prompted him just now. “You really do talk a lot for such an old man. I’m surprised you aren’t winded by now. But, no matter. Now, if you’ll excuse us, we’ve wasted enough time with this nonsense, and the boy and I have important business to attend-”

“N-no.”

Varian could feel Xavier and Zhan Tiri’s attention turn to him as he weakly said the word.

“‘No?’” Zhan Tiri repeated mockingly. “No? What do you mean, no?”

Varian struggled to sit up, bracing himself up with his hands. “I…I said, ‘no.’ Y-you’re not going to use me for your plans. I refuse to- Aaah!” Varian crumpled, as he again felt the squeezing sensation around his heart, and his hair began to dimly glow.

“Have you forgotten, child?” the demon purred in his ear as Xavier watched on in horror. “I still have my foothold in your heart. You willingly gave it to me. You cannot refuse me now.”

“No!” Varian hissed through gritted teeth. “I-I can! I won’t let you!” “Won’t let me do what?” the un-man cried, now truly exasperated. “Won’t let me get revenge on those who wronged us both? Won’t let me make sure that the scales of justice are balanced in our favor? Would your father really want you to leave unpunished those whose acts led to his demise?”

…This was where the demon made his crucial mistake.

It was like when Varian faced the Seporian spy back in the forests of Equis; when he tried to use Varian’s father’s fate as a point of leverage.

“Dad…” Varian thought to himself, feeling his heart break all over again as he thought about him. He knew Quirin wouldn’t have wanted this. Whatever Varian may have thought of himself, his dad gave up everything to keep him alive. Even if Quirin himself were somehow still alive, he had no idea in the moment what was going to happen when he pushed Varian away from the explosion of amber. He didn’t know whether or not he would come through all right. And if the worst turned out to be true, would Varian let his father’s sacrifice for him be in vain? That is, would he lose sight of what was good and give up the real fight?

And what about Xavier? Whatever doubts Zhan Tiri had sown about the purity of the man’s intentions for Varian, the boy couldn’t deny that Xavier gave up a lot for him. Varian’s eyes landed briefly on the blacksmith’s burnt hand. That and hearing the emotion in the smithy’s voice at the idea of someone not being able to forge again, it was enough to let Varian know that Xavier was making all efforts short of giving up his own life as well to help him. Though, under the current circumstances, that opition may not be far off either.

…And Varian would not let that happen.

“No!” Varian cried again, and once more trying to summon his powers, the rocks around Xavier starting to glow in tandem with his hair. “I won’t be your puppet in your plans! I won’t listen to you any more! I won’t-”

Varian then gasped, feeling Zhan Tiri tighten his grip harder around him, and feeling his magic begin to siphon back out of him again while Xavier struggled to try to reach him. “No!” Varian though in desperation, and began to push back against the force pulling at him, the two now grappling together in his heart. “No! You won’t let you take me! I’ll fight you-!”

“You’re too late boy!” the voice now thundered in his mind, and repeated again, “Your father is dead! Your enemies have gotten away with it! And nobody is left to love you! You feel that anger, that bitterness, that grief in your heart! Let it out! Show them all! Embrace the power that you have been given!”

Varian could feel his heart being torn in two. He couldn’t keep this up. He was losing the fight. He couldn’t do this on his own!

“NO! PLEASE!” Varian found himself crying out, to anyone or anything that may be listening. “PLEASE! DAD! XAVIER! RUDDIGER! SOMEONE! HELP ME!”

At these words, Varian felt the tear in his heart rend all the way through. He gave a sharp cry, his eyes rolled to the back of head, and then he was enveloped in utter blackness.

--------------------------------

…..

……….

……

“Varian…”

Varian gasped, his eyes snapping open at the sound of his name. He expected when he opened his eyes to see the dark mirror chamber around him, and to feel his body aching from the tight vines and the grip of Zhan Tiri’s binding spell. But, to his utter astonishment, Varian felt and saw none of these things. Instead, he felt only shallow, cool water around him, and saw above him a sky ablaze with stars, giant planets, and the dancing stream of the Aurora Borealis.

“Wait…I’m back here!?” Varian thought in utter surprise, quickly sitting up and looking around him. Once again, he found himself on the smooth waters of the celestial plain from his dreams. Immediately, Varian thought to look for the white stag, or Ruddiger. Perhaps one of them was somehow here with him. But though Varian turned to look all around him, and strained his eyes to see as far as they could toward the distant horizon, no other figure was in sight on that vast, flat land.

“What do I do now?” Varian wondered aloud, remembering how difficult it was for him to go anywhere the last time. What was he supposed to do this time? Should he try to wake up? He needed a guide back to the waking world last time, but perhaps he could manage it now?

In any case, Varian knew had to try something. He had to try to get back!

Tentatively, Varian moved to push himself up onto his feet. As he stood, Varian tried to decide on which direction he should go. As he was pondering this, Varian suddenly caught some movement out of the corner of his eye. Varian’s head whipped round, fully expecting to see Ruddiger coming to his aid at last. But instead-

“Aaah!” Varian yelped, staggering backwards. What he saw was a face! A face floating a few yards away, looking at him. As Varian watched, the full figure of a person materialized in front of him, and other figures also came into view in the same manner, all glowing with silver light. Varian never gave much thought to ghosts, and for a moment he hoped that he was just seeing things. But when he dared to look away, then look again, blink, and rub his eyes, and the vision didn’t go away, he felt himself begin to panic. His courage failing him, Varian fled in the other direction away from the frightening apparitions. But to his horror, more figures began materializing there as well!

Varian then turned to his right, and began running, but he was soon blocked in again by more figures looming in out of thin air. All of them were facing towards him in a large circle, and soon Varian was completely hemmed in by the large crowd.

And what a large crowd it was indeed! There had to be dozens of them, perhaps hundreds! Men, women, and children. Who were they!? What was going on!?

One of them stepped forward to approach Varian, and out of reflex the boy held up his arms to shield himself. But alas, this only caused him further dread, for as Varian went through the motion, he saw a terrible phenomenon before him.

His arms were see-through! He was a ghost!

Varian stared in horror as his eyes followed his arms and he looked down at his body. Despite the ghost-like behavior of the figures only moments before, somehow the tables had turned. Or, perhaps, a readjusting of Varian’s senses had taken place. He now had the haunting idea that perhaps the figures were not the ghosts here, but he was. Did they materialize to his senses just now, or was it vice versa? Had they been in full existence there already, and he had been the one who materialized to their level of reality?

Before Varian could consider more this frightening prospect, he was suddenly snapped out of his thoughts as he felt the touch of the figure that had stepped towards him. He had been so caught up in his fear that he hadn’t noticed the figure draw so near to him! The touch of the man who approached was firm, but warm, and as Varian’s eyes snapped up to look the person in the face, he was startled to find that…he actually recognized him! Though he had never seen him in person, Varian had seen a small portrait of him in his father’s belongings.

The man…looked like his grandfather!

“Wait, what!? No!” Varian thought to himself, his voice failing him to say anything as he stared agape at the man. “No no! It’s-it’s not possible! He can’t be-! He’s not even-!”

Another realization then hit Varian like a thunderclap, and he looked again at the other faces around him. In some he could see the resemblance to either of his parents. Others were total strangers to him. But this much he somehow knew – these were his past relations! All of them! In one way or another, they were related to him. He was seeing his family tree extending back years into the past! Varian had never met any of his relatives outside of his parents, and he hadn’t really given much thought about them in recent years. But now…?

Being an alchemist, Varian had heard of those who believed that they could manufacture human life in a lab. Get the right ingredients, have the right conditions, and boom! You’ve created life. Varian never really found such experiments appealing. He was more for the practical, applicable sciences like mechanics and chemistry. Sure, he’d dabbled a bit in biology (as he did to know how to create Ruddiger’s transformation serum), but otherwise he didn’t really give much thought into what went into making a person, artificial or otherwise.

But now, in seeing the legions of past relatives around him, Varian saw brief but poignant glimpses of all the blood, sweat and tears that had gone into assuring his existence throughout the centuries prior. All of the sacrifices that were made so that he could get the chance to walk the earth. All of that went into making him.

“Oh no-,” Varian found himself whimpering aloud, his voice finally returning to him if only for a moment, and he quickly pulled himself away from the figure of his grandfather. Varian buried his face in his hands, overwhelmed by the feeling of transparency that he now felt (both figuratively and literally). Did they know? Did they all know? And was this how it was to end for him? Was he dead, and this was his final judgment?? Surely, they all must be ashamed of him, and must be wondering if it was worth all the struggle to produce him at the present end of the family line. What a disgrace he must be to them.

“G-go away!” Varian cried as he felt another hand try to touch his shoulder. “Get back! L-leave me alone!”

“But you need help, dearie,” a feminie voice replied from somewhere in the crowd, and Varian flinched at the sound, for it wasn’t so unlike the sound of all the singing he had heard the other night; when he had heard the stars after his powers had awoken inside of him.

“N-no, I don’t!” Varian lied in a cracked voice, wishing for once that the dark, deep ocean underneath him would swallow him up, if only to get away from the unbearable eyes all watching him. But those around him didn’t seem at all fazed.

“Easy Varian, easy,” came a deep, masculine voice, sounding not so unlike the comforting voice of Xavier, and Varian again felt a gentle hand laid on his shoulder. Quivering, Varian finally dared to look up again, meeting several faces this time as the spirits crowded round him. “Don’t be afraid. You’re welcome here!”

Varian blinked, looking about him again. He was so very confused. “Wh-where are we? I don’t understand! Am I-?” Varian swallowed hard. “Am I dead?”

“No, Varian. You’re not dead.”

At the sound of this next voice, the crowd around Varian parted a little, allowing one of the figures to pass through to the front. Though Varian was surprised, as the figure that came forward was not a solid silver like the others around them, but appeared to be a translucent ghost like himself. The figure was hooded, and also carried a small, sleeping monkey upon its shoulder.

“Oh no,” Varian thought as the figure came closer, and he caught sight of the little primate companion. “We’re not going THAT far back in the family line, are we?”

Fortunately, it was not the little creature who addressed Varian, but the hooded figure as he pulled his cowl back and revealed his face. “It’s good to finally meet you, Varian,” he said, kneeling down so he was eye-level with the boy. “I only wish it could be under better circumstances.”

Varian’s eyes studied the man’s face. There seemed to be something of a resemblance to his father in the man’s features. Or, at least, in the features Varian could still see, for nearly half of the man’s face was covered with metal plating.

“Who are you?” Varian asked.

“I am Lord Demanitus,” the man replied. “And this,” here he indicated the monkey. “Is Vigor, my familiar. Do not worry Varian. We are here to help you.”

[hoodassnerd]

Butterflies

Genre: Erik x oc

Words: a lot (I’m so sorry)

Summary: Joanna is a thug at heart but maybe not all the way through

BEEP BEEP BEEP be-

Erik shut off the alarm and look at the girl in his bed.

‘Seven? Sheela? Something with a s? I don’t fuckin know, she gotta get the fuck up tho’

Erik poked her in the back “Aye shawty, you gotta get up. “ she grunted and readjusted to get comfortable. Erik sighs, “AYO!” He shouted. She jumped up from her spot “What! It’s mad early!” “Exactly, that why you need to getcho ass up. I gotta work and I don’t know you like that so you gotta step” he said getting out of the bed.

She looked at him disappointed “Damn you really just gon kick me out like that?” She asked him. “Yea. Bye Keisha.” Erik walked into the bathroom closing the door. “MY NAME IS TIFFANY!” “Whatever the fuck it is, you gotta go” he said. Erik turned on the water ignoring whatever she was yelling at him and got in the shower so he could start his day.

Around 2:37 pm Joanna Brown woke up from her damn good dream about cheesecake and Captain America. “Shit!” She said as she finished her stretched. A good stretch. The one that makes you shake. “I should have called off today. I hate having to use my customer service voice to all them ugly ass men.” She said to herself. Jo worked at footlocker at the front register. She only kept the job because she was a sneaker head. Jo was very self conscious about her body but the men at her job didn’t give a damn about her feelings because her was shaped like the number 8. Even thought she had many customer complaints, they weren’t gonna fire her. She was the reason for half of their customers.

Jo turned on her music phone and connected it to her tv. “Rob the jewelry sto’ tell ‘em make me a grill”. Joanna milly rocked her way into the bathroom and started her showers he tied up her silver bundles and got in the water.

About 30 seconds later her primary phone rang. She looked at the screen and saw Erik’s name and the ugliest scared face you’ve ever seen. Tapping the screen she picked up the phone and started singing the song. “Got 30 down at the bottom 30 mo’ at the top, all invisible set with little ice cube blocks. If I could call it a dri-“ “I didn’t call you to hear yo fine ass sing nelly in my face” Erik said into the phone. Jo looked offended “So why dafuq did you call me?” “I called you to see if y’all got the new 11’s that just came out.” Jo looked into the phone “nigga I just got in the shower! I don’t even know if the sun is still yellow yet! And stop calling me pretty, you know I don’t like you”

Ever since they were in high school, Erik was sweet on Jo. She transferred from New York during their sophomore year. They eventually became friends after she fist fought the quarterback because he wouldn’t leave her alone. Even though they didn’t have any classes together he would always make sure that he saw her when she was at school. Erik liked Jo and was determined to get her to like him back. He would always compliment her and try to make her feel good about her self but Jo didn’t see it like that. Jo was a hood nigga, so she didn’t really want attention from men. Unless she needed some dick.

“Let me finish washing my ass first. I’ll hit you when I’m at work to let you know if we got em’” Erik smiled showing his caps “Thank you lil’ mama. Let me see ya titties” Jo hung up the phone “Bitch I am not showing you my titties” she said as she put the it back down. Willow Smiths - Wait a minute started to play on her tv “Oh this my shit!” She shouted as she turned up the volume.

‘Wait a minute! I think I left my conscience on your front door step! Woo-oo Woo-oo, Wait a minute I think I let my consciousness in the sixth dimension. But I’m here right now, right now”

Jo got in her navy blue 67’ impala that was given to her by her uncle. She started the car and the radio came on ‘FUCK A FLASH THIS AINT SNAPCHAT! CUZ IVE BEEN GETTIN’ PAID, YELLOW DIAMOND-‘. Jo jumped so high she hit her head on the roof of the car “Ow fuck! Shit” she said turning down the volume and rubbing her head. “Let me turn this shit down. I’m not the Same nigga from last night”

Pulling into the parking lot at the mall she looked at the time on her phone 4:02 ‘shiiiiiiiieeeeeeedddddd I still got 30 minutes’ she thought.

‘ when I get up all in ya’ and we can hear the angels callin us, and we can see the sunrise before us and when I’m in that thang, I make that body sang I make her say🚨🚨🚨’

“nigga this my shit!!” She said turning the up volume. The song turned down and switched to big gangster by Kevin gates. “Scuse me bitch... oh. What you want nigga!” She said to Erik as she got out the car. “Why yo thick ass just getting out the car?” He said staring directly at her . Jo stopped and looked around ‘Did this nigga wait here for me?’ “what kinda stalker shit is you on bruh?” She hung up the phone when she saw him. “Chill lil mama. I’m just trying to make sure my future wife got to work safe.” “Where she at?” Jo said confused. Erik sucked his teeth “Girl stop playin, you know it’s you. Wicho sexy ass, ooooh girl I’d love to see all that ass in a sundress.” He said licking his lips.

“Boy if you don’t get yo ass on somewhere. I wouldn’t dare marry yo ass. All the bitches you be fucking I don’t know where to dick been, nigga” she said grabbing her work bag out her backseat. “Why you ain’t take yo ass in the store? Everybody in there fuck wichu, they would have gave you a discount if you would have asked. Renee prolly would’ve gave you them shits for free, she in love wicho bum ass.” She said reaching for the door. Erik slapped her hand away from the handle. “Why you always do that like I can’t open the door” she said walking pass him. “When a man is present a women shouldn’t touch doorknobs or handles.” He said staring at her ass. “Mmmmhmmmm. Whatever nigga”

“Hi, welcome to footlocker! If you need anything just let me know!” Jo said in her customer service voice. “Fake ass” Erik said walking passed the counter. “Shut up and getcho shoes nigga!” She said back.

As Jo was reluctantly helping Erik, like the good employee she was, the door buzzer went off “Hi welcome to foo- Fuck. Welcome to footlocker if you need help please don’t ask me. “ Erik turned around and saw three men walk in the store and smirk at Jo. One was tall, about 6’4, light skin with a fucked up gumby haircut. The second one was shorter, kinda looked like Boosie with dreads. The third one looked like Dave east.....but dirty.

“Who dat?” He asked watching them walk around the store “Remember I told you about that nigga that keep coming in here bothering me but I can’t do shit cuz he buy ten pair of shoes?” He nodded “That’s his ugly ass. The dinghy one. He get on my fucking nerves. This nigga smoke boggies and think it’s ok to talk directly in my face like boy get the fuck on” she said scanning eriks shoes while he was laughing his ass off “This shit not funny bruh like, I told him I had a boyfriend but he won’t leave me the fuck alone”. Erik looked at her inquisitively “Did you describe ya so called boyfriend” he said putting quotes around boyfriend. She shook her head no. “Bet” he said. “Aye bro where you going?”

Erik walked over to the shoe display and picked up the cement grey 4’s “lil mama, y’all got these in a 12!” He asked. Jo looked up from the register to see Erik across the store “

What’s those?” “Come here and see” she rolled her eyes and put his other shoes under the counter and jogged over. “Oh the cements, let me check in the back” noticing the ‘Dave east’ looking at Jo, Erik slid his hand on her hip as she talked. She looked at him sideways like he was crazy. He lifted his brows as to say ‘play along’ Jo gave him a stink face but nodded slightly “Gimme a kiss ma” “no I’m at work” “you so mean to me” he said pouting.

Jo rolled her eyes and walked to the back room. “Aye bro. Why you pushing up on ole girl like that?” Erik turned around to see ‘Dave east’ looking like he wanted to fight. “And who the fuck is you to be asking about my girl?” He said as he squared his shoulders. ‘Dave east’ backed up a little “oh shit bro my bad I didn’t know that shorty was yours.” Erik clenched his jaw a little “ stop staring at my girl. And If she tell me you keep harassing her imma beat the shit outchu” Erik said slightly walking toward him. ‘Dave east’ turned around and walked away. “All we got is 11 and 13. “ Erik looked at jo “that’s fine mamas, I got some already. Thank you tho” jo looked at him “ so you telling me that you made me walk all the way ova he fah some shoes you already got? You deadass? Your total is $557.82” Erik smirked at her “I can’t get a thank you?” “Fah what?” Erik smiled real big “you see ya mans?” Jo looked around “what you say to him?” She said as her eyes lit up “I told him to stop talking to you and he left” jo raised an eyebrow “I know you lying but thank you” she held her hand out, Erik looked her up and down “ what?” He asked “give me yo money, hoe” jo said with an attitude. Erik sucked his teeth and gave her his card. “Declined” “WHAT!” “I’m just fucking witchu. Enjoy your day, sir!” “You play to fucking much” Erik mumbled as he walked out the store.

[fineillsignup]

tips for choosing a Chinese name for your OC when you don’t know Chinese

This is a meta for gifset trade with @purple-fury! Maybe you would like to trade something with me? You can PM me if so!

Choosing a Chinese name, if you don’t know a Chinese language, is difficult, but here’s a secret for you: choosing a Chinese name, when you do know a Chinese language, is also difficult. So, my tip #1 is: Relax. Did you know that Actual Chinese People choose shitty names all the dang time? It’s true!!! Just as you, doubtless, have come across people in your daily life in your native language that you think “God, your parents must have been on SOME SHIT when they named you”, the same is true about Chinese people, now and throughout history. If you choose a shitty name, it’s not the end of the world! Your character’s parents now canonically suck at choosing a name. There, we fixed it!

However. Just because you should not drive yourself to the brink of the grave fretting over choosing a Chinese name for a character, neither does that mean you shouldn’t care at all. Especially, tip #2, Never just pick some syllables that vaguely sound Chinese and call it a day. That shit is awful and tbh it’s as inaccurate and racist as saying “ching chong” to mimic the Chinese language. Examples: Cho Chang from Harry Potter, Tenten from Naruto, and most notorious of all, Fu Manchu and his daughter Fah lo Suee (how the F/UCK did he come up with that one).

So where do you begin then? Well, first you need to pick your character’s surname. This is actually not too difficult, because Chinese actually doesn’t have that many surnames in common use. One hundred surnames cover over eighty percent of China’s population, and in local areas especially, certain surnames within that one hundred are absurdly common, like one out of every ten people you meet is surnamed Wang, for example. Also, if you’re making an OC for an established media franchise, you may already have the surname based on who you want your character related to. Finally, if you’re writing an ethnically Chinese character who was born and raised outside of China, you might only want their surname to be Chinese, and give them a given name from the language/culture of their native country; that’s very very common.

If you don’t have a surname in mind, check out the Wikipedia page for the list of common Chinese surnames, roughly the top one hundred. If you’re not going to pick one of the top one hundred surnames, you should have a good reason why. Now you need to choose a romanization system. You’ll note that the Wikipedia list contains variant spellings. If your character is a Chinese-American (or other non-Chinese country) whose ancestors emigrated before the 1950s (or whose ancestors did not come from mainland China), their name will not be spelled according to pinyin. It might be spelled according to Wade-Giles romanization, or according to the name’s pronunciation in other Chinese languages, or according to what the name sounds like in the language of the country they immigrated to. (The latter is where you get spellings like Lee, Young, Woo, and Law.)  A huge proportion of emigration especially came from southern China, where people spoke Cantonese, Min, Hakka, and other non-Mandarin languages.

So, for example, if you want to make a Chinese-Canadian character whose paternal source of their surname immigrated to Canada in the 20s, don’t give them the surname Xie, spelled that way, because #1 that spelling didn’t exist when their first generation ancestor left China and #2 their first generation ancestor was unlikely to have come from a part of China where Mandarin was spoken anyway (although still could have! that’s up to you). Instead, name them Tse, Tze, Sia, Chia, or Hsieh.

If you’re working with a character who lives in, or who left or is descended from people who left mainland China in the 1960s or later; or if you’re working with a historical or mythological setting, then you are going to want to use the pinyin romanization. The reason I say that you should use pinyin for historical or mythological settings is because pinyin is now the official or de facto romanization system for international standards in academia, the United Nations, etc. So if you’re writing a story with characters from ancient China, or medieval China, use pinyin, even though not only pinyin, but the Mandarin pronunciations themselves didn’t exist back then. Just... just accept this. This is one of those quirks of having a non-alphabetic language.

(Here’s an “exceptions” paragraph: there are various well known Chinese names that are typically, even now, transliterated in a non-standard way: Confucius, Mencius, the Yangtze River, Sun Yat-sen, etc. Go ahead and use these if you want. And if you really consciously want to make a Cantonese or Hakka or whatever setting, more power to you, but in that case you better be far beyond needing this tutorial and I don’t know why you’re here. Get. Scoot!)

One last point about names that use the ü with the umlaut over it. The umlaut ü is actually pretty critical for the meaning because wherever the ü appears, the consonant preceding it also can be used with u: lu/lü, nu/nü, etc. However, de facto, lots of individual people, media franchises, etc, simply drop the umlaut and write u instead when writing a name in English, such as “Lu Bu” in the Dynasty Warriors franchise in English (it should be written Lü Bu). And to be fair, since tones are also typically dropped in Latin script and are just as critical to the meaning and pronunciation of the original, dropping the umlaut probably doesn’t make much difference. This is kind of a choice you have to make for yourself. Maybe you even want to play with it! Maybe everybody thinks your character’s surname is pronounced “loo as in loo roll” but SURPRISE MOFO it’s actually lü! You could Do Something with that. Also, in contexts where people want to distinguish between u and ü when typing but don’t have easy access to a keyboard method of making the ü, the typical shorthand is the letter v. 

Alright! So you have your surname and you know how you want it spelled using the Latin alphabet. Great! What next?

Alright, so, now we get to the hard part: choosing the given name. No, don’t cry, I know baby I know. We can do this. I believe in you.

Here are some premises we’re going to be operating on, and I’m not entirely sure why I made this a numbered list:

Chinese people, generally, love their kids. (Obviously, like in every culture, there are some awful exceptions, and I’ll give one specific example of this later on.)

As part of loving their kids, they want to give them a Good name.

So what makes a name a Good name??? Well, in Chinese culture, the cultural values (which have changed over time) have tended to prioritize things like: education; clan and family; health and beauty; religious devotions of various religions (Buddhism, Taoism, folk religions, Christianity, other); philosophical beliefs (Buddhism, Confucianism, etc) (see also education); refinement and culture (see also education); moral rectitude; and of course many other things as the individual personally finds important. You’ll notice that education is a big one. If you can’t decide on where to start, something related to education, intelligence, wisdom, knowledge, etc, is a bet that can’t go wrong.

Unlike in English speaking cultures (and I’m going to limit myself to English because we’re writing English and good God look at how long this post is already), there is no canon of “names” in Chinese like there has traditionally been in English. No John, Mary, Susan, Jacob, Maxine, William, and other words that are names and only names and which, historically at least, almost everyone was named. Instead, in Chinese culture, you can basically choose any character you want. You can choose one character, or two characters. (More than two characters? No one can live at that speed. Seriously, do not give your character a given name with more than two characters. If you need this tutorial, you don’t know enough to try it.) Congratulations, it is now a name!!

But what this means is that Chinese names aggressively Mean Something in a way that most English names don’t. You know nature names like Rose and Pearl, and Puritan names like Wrestling, Makepeace, Prudence, Silence, Zeal, and Unity? I mean, yeah, you can technically look up that the name Mary comes from a etymological root meaning bitter, but Mary doesn’t mean bitter in the way that Silence means, well, silence. Chinese names are much much more like the latter, because even though there are some characters that are more common as names than as words, the meaning of the name is still far more upfront than English names.

So the meaning of the name is generally a much more direct expression of those Good Values mentioned before. But it gets more complicated!

Being too direct has, across many eras of Chinese history, been considered crude; the very opposite of the education you’re valuing in the first place. Therefore, rather than the Puritan slap you in the face approach where you just name your kid VIRTUE!, Chinese have typically favoured instead more indirect, related words about these virtues and values, or poetic allusions to same. What might seem like a very blunt, concrete name, such as Guan Yu’s “yu” (which means feather), is actually a poetic, referential name to all the things that feathers evoke: flight, freedom, intellectual broadmindness, protection...

So when you’re choosing a name, you start from the value you want to express, then see where looking up related words in a dictionary gets you until you find something that sounds “like a name”; you can also try researching Chinese art symbolism to get more concrete names. Then, here’s my favourite trick, try combining your fake name with several of the most common surnames: 王，李，陈. And Google that shit. If you find Actual Human Beings with that name: congratulations, at least if you did f/uck up, somebody else out there f/ucked up first and stuck a Human Being with it, so you’re still doing better than they are. High five!

You’re going to stick with the same romanization system (or lack thereof) as you’ve used for the surname. In the interests of time, I’m going to focus on pinyin only.

First let’s take a look at some real and actual Chinese names and talk about what they mean, why they might have been chosen, and also some fictional OC names that I’ve come up with that riff off of these actual Chinese names. And then we’ll go over some resources and also some pitfalls. Hopefully you can learn by example! Fun!!!

Let’s start with two great historical strategists: Zhuge Liang and Zhou Yu, and the names I picked for some (fictional) sons of theirs. Then I will be talking about Sun Shangxiang and Guan Yinping, two historical-legendary women of the same era, and what I named their fictional daughters. And finally I’ll be talking about historical Chinese pirate Gan Ning and what I named his fictional wife and fictional daughter. Uh, this could be considered spoilers for my novel Clouds and Rain and associated one-shots in that universe, so you probably want to go and read that work... and its prequels... and leave lots of comments and kudos first and then come back. Don’t worry, I’ll wait.

(I’m just kidding you don’t need to know a thing about my work to find this useful.)

ZHUGE Liang is written 諸葛亮 in traditional Chinese characters and 诸葛亮 in simplified Chinese characters. It is a two-character surname. Two character surnames used to be more common than they are now. When I read Chinese history, I notice that two character surname clans seem to have a bad habit of flying real high and then getting the Icarus treatment if Icarus when his wings melted also got beheaded and had the Nine Familial Exterminations performed on his clan. Yikes. Sooner or later that'll cost ya.

But anyway. Zhuge means “lots of kudzu”, which if you have been to the American south you know is that only way that kudzu comes. Liang means “light, shining” in the sense of daylight, moonlight, etc; and from this literal meaning also such figurative meanings as reveal or clear. (I’m going to talk about words have a primary and secondary meaning in this way because I think it’s important for understanding. It’s just like how in English, ‘run’ has many meanings, but almost of all them are derived from a primary meaning of ‘to move fast via one’s human legs’, if I can be weird for a moment. “Run” as in “home run” comes from that, “run” as in “run in your stocking” comes from that, “run” as in “that’ll run you at least $200″ comes from that. You have to get it straight which is the primary meaning, which is the one that people think of first and they way they get to the secondary meaning.)

“Light” has a similar “enlightenment” concept in Chinese as in English, so the person who chose Zhuge Liang’s name—most likely his father or grandfather—clearly valued learning.

I named my fictional son for Zhuge Liang Zhuge Jing 京. The value or direction I was coming from is that Zhuge Liang has come to the decision that he has to nurture the next generation for the benefit of the land, that he has to remain in the world in a way that he very much did not want to do when he himself was a young man. In this alternate universe, Liu Bei has formed a new Han dynasty and recaptured Luoyang, so when Zhuge Liang’s son is then born he chooses this name Jing which means literally “capital”. This concrete name is meant as an allusion to a devotion to public service and to remaining “central”. After I chose this name, I discovered that Zhuge Liang actually has a recorded grandson named Zhuge Jing with this same character.

above, me, realizing I picked a good name

ZHOU Yu is written 周瑜 in both simplified and traditional Chinese characters.

The surname Zhou was and remains a very common Chinese surname whose original meaning was like... a really nice field. Like just the greatest f/ucking field you’ve ever seen. “Dang, that is a sweet field” said an ancient Chinese farmer, “I’m gonna make a new Chinese character to record just how great it is.” And then it came to mean things along the line of complete and thorough.

Yu means the excellence of a gemstone--its brilliance, lustre, etc, as opposed to its flaws. It is not a common word but does appear in some expressions such as 瑕不掩瑜 "a flaw does not conceal the rest of the gemstone's beauty; a defect does not mean the whole thing is bad".

Zhou Yu has gone down in history for being not only smart but also artistic and handsome. A real triple threat. And this name speaks to a family that valued art and beauty. It really does suit him.

Zhou Yu had two recorded sons but in my alternate history I gave him four. I borrowed the first one’s name from history: Xun 循, follow. Based on this name, I chose other names that I thought gave a similar sense of his values: Shou 守, guard; Wen 聞, listen. The youngest one I had born when he already knew he was dying, and things had not been going well generally; therefore I had him give him the name Shen 慎, which means “careful, cautious”.

SUN Shangxiang 孫尚香 is one of several names that history and legend give for a sister of w//arlord-king Sun Quan who was married to a rival w//arlord named Liu Bei in a marriage which, historically, uh, didn’t... didn’t go all that well. In my alternate history it goes well! You can’t stop me, I’ve already done it!

The surname Sun means “grandson” and the given name components are Shang mean “values, esteems” and Xiang “scent” which we can combine into meaning something like “precious perfume”. A lot of the recorded names for women in this era (a huge number didn’t have any names recorded, a problem in itself) seem to me to be more concrete, to contain more objects, to be more focused on affection, less focused on hopes and dreams. This makes sense for the era: you love your daughters (I HOPE) but then they get married and leave you. You don’t have long term plans for them because their long term belongs to another clan.

I gave her daughter by Liu Bei the name Liu Yitao 劉義桃. Yi 義 meaning righteousness, rectitude and 桃 meaning... peach. Okay, okay, I know "righteous peach" sounds damn funny in English, but the legendary oath in the peach garden, the "oath of brotherhood" is called in Chinese 結義 "tying righteousness" and the peach garden is, uh, a peach garden. I also give her the cutesy nickname Taotao 桃桃 which you could compare to “Peaches” or “Peachy”. Reduplication of a character in a two-character name is a classic nickname strategy in Chinese.

GUAN Yinping 關銀屏/关银屏 is a “made up” (scare quotes because old legends have their own kind of validity, fight me) name for a historical daughter of Guan Yu. Guan means “to close (a door)”. Yin means “silver” and ping means “a screen, to hide” and according to the legend, her father’s oath brother Zhang Fei named her after a silver treasure. So here again we see a name for a woman that completely lacks the kind of aspirations we see in male names. Who would have an aspiration for a daughter?

My fictional characters, that’s who. I named her daughter Lu Ruofeng 陸若鳳/陆若凤, Ruo (like the) Feng (phoenix), based on a quote from a Confucian text about what one should try to be during both times of chaos and times of good government. I portray her father as a devoted Confucian scholar, so that was another factor for why I looked to Confucian texts for a source of a name.

Modern parents also now have big dreams for their daughters :’) and so modern girls receive names that are far more similar to how boys are named. 

GAN Ning 甘寧/甘宁 is a great example of a person whose name does not suit him. Gan 甘 depicts a tongue and means “sweet”, and Ning 寧 which shows a bowl and table and heart beneath a roof means “peaceful”. Which, it would be hard to come up with a name for this guy, a ruthless pirate turned extremely effective general:

that is less suitable than essentially being named “Sweet Peace”.

And when he was an adult, his style name—a name that Chinese men used to be given when they turned 20 (ie became adults) by East Asian reckoning—indeed reflects that. Choosing your own style name was widely considered to be crass. I absolutely think that Gan Ning chose his own style name; he was that kind of a guy. And the name he chose! Xingba 興霸/兴霸! I’ve never seen another style name like it. It means, basically, “thriving dominator”! Brand new official adult Gan Ning treats his style name like he’s picking his Xbox gamer tag and he picks BadassBoss69_420, that’s what this style name is like to me. Except, you know, he had almost certainly killed many hundreds of people by the time he was nineteen, so, uh, it wouldn’t be a wise idea to make fun of his name to his face.

In my fictional version of his life, he married a woman whose father was the exception to the “parents love their children” rule and who named his daughter Pandi 盼第 “expecting a younger brother”, which is a classic “daughters ain’t shit, I want a son” name. Real and actual Chinese women have been given this shitty name and ones like it.

Because Gan Ning had an ironically placid name, I also gave his daughter the placid single character name Wan 婉, which means “gentle, restrained”, as a foil to her wild personality.

So there are a bunch of examples of some historical characters and some OCs and how I chose their names. “But wait, all that was really cool, but how can I do that? You can read Chinese, I can’t!”

I originally had a bunch of links here to dictionaries and resources but Tumblr :) wouldn’t let the post show up in tag search with all the links :) :) :) so you need to check the reblogs of this post to see my own reblog; that reblog has all the links. I’M SORRY ABOUT THIS. Here are a list of the sites without the links if you want to Google them yourself.

MDBG  - an open source dictionary - start here

Wiktionary -  don’t knock it til you try it

iCIBA (they recently changed their user interface and it’s much less English-speaker friendly now but it’s still a great dictionary)

Pleco (an iOS app, maybe also Android???) contains same open source dictionary as MDBG and also its own proprietary dictionary

Chinese Etymology at hanziyuan dot net

You search some English keywords from the value you want, and then you see what kind of characters you get. You should take the character and then reverse search, making sure that it doesn’t have negative words/meanings, and similar. Look into the etymology and see if it has any thematic elements that appeal to what you’re doing with the character--eg a fire radical for a character with fire powers.

And then, like I mention before, when you have got a couple characters and you think “I think this could be a good name”, you go to Google, you take a very common surname, you append your chosen name—don’t forget to use quotation marks—and you see what happens. Did you get some results? Even better, did you get lots of results? Then you’re probably safe! No results does not necessarily mean your name won’t work, but you should probably run it by an Actual Chinese Native Speaker at that point to check. Also, remember, as I said at the beginning, sometimes people have weird names. If you consciously decide “you know what, I think this character’s parents would choose a weird name”, then own that.

THINGS YOU SHOULD PROBABLY IGNORE!

Starting in relatively recent history (not really a big thing until Song dynasty) and continuing, moreso outside of mainland China, to the modern day, there is something called a generation name component to a name. This means that of a name’s two characters, one of the characters is shared with every other paternal line relative of that person’s generation; historically, usually only boys get a generation name and girls don’t. (Chinese history, banging on pots and pans: DAUGHTERS AIN’T SHIT AND DON’T FORGET IT!) “Generation” here means everyone who is equidistant descendant from some past ancestor, not necessarily that they are exactly the same age. For example, all of ancestor’s X’s sons share the character 一 in their names, his grandsons all have the character 二，great-grandsons 三, great-great-grandsons 四 (I just used numbers because I’m lazy). By the time you get to great-great-grandson, you might have some that are forty years old and some that are babies (because of how old their fathers were when they were conceived), but they are still the same generation.

In some clans, this tradition goes so far as to have something called a name poem, where the generations cycle, character by character, through a poem that was specifically written for this purpose and which is generally about how their clan is super rad.

If you want to riff off of this idea and have siblings or paternal cousins share a character in their names, ok, but it genuinely isn’t necessary. Anyone with a single character name obviously doesn’t have one of these generation names, and by no means does every person with a two character name (especially female) have a generation name. If you’re doing an OC for an ancient Chinese setting (certainly anything before the year about 500), you shouldn’t use these generation names because it wasn’t a thing. Also, in a modern setting, even if such a generation name or name poem exists, it’s not like there is any legal requirement to use it (though there may be family pressure to do so).

As a further complication, some parents do the shared character thing among their children without it actually being a generation name per se because it isn’t shared by any cousins. Or, they have all their children (or all their children of the same gender) share a radical, which is a meaning component in a Chinese character.

If someone does have one of these shared character names, then their nickname will never come from that shared character; either they will be called by the full name or by some name riffing off of the character that is not shared. For example, I knew a pair of sisters called Yuru and Yufei with the same first character; the first sister went by her English name in daily life (even when speaking Chinese) while the second sister was called Feifei.

tl;dr If you don’t already know Chinese, consider generation names an extra complication for masochists only. Definitely not required for modern characters.

Fortune telling is another thing that I think you should either ignore or wildly make up. Do you know what ordinary Chinese people who want to choose a lucky name for their child do? They hire someone to work it out. This is not some DIY shit even if you are deeply immured in the culture. There are considerations of the number of strokes, the radicals, the birth date, the birth hour. You’re the god of your fictional universe, so go ahead and unilaterally declare that your desired names are lucky or unlucky as suits the story if you want to.

MILK NAMES

In modern times, babies get named right away, if for no other reason that the government requires it everywhere in the world for record keeping purposes.

However, in traditional times, Chinese people did not give babies a permanent name right away, instead waiting until a certain period of time had passed (3 months/100 days is a classic).

What do you call the baby in the meantime? A milk name 乳名, which your (close, older than you) family may or may not keep on using for you until such time as you die, just so that you remember that you used to be a funny looking little raisin that peed on people.

This kind of name is almost always very humble, sometimes to the point of being outright insulting. This is because to use any name on your baby that implies you might actually like the little thing is tempting Bad News. Possible exception: sometimes a baby would receive a milk name that dedicated it to some deity. In this case, I guess you’re hoping that deity will be flattered enough to take on the job of shooing away all the other spirits and things that might be otherwise attracted to this Delicious Fresh Baby.

Because milk names were only used by one’s (older) family and very close family friends of one’s parents/grandparents, most people’s milk names are not recorded or known, with some notable exceptions. Liu Shan, the son of Liu Bei, who as a baby was rescued by Zhao Yun during the Shu forces retreat from Changban. Perhaps because his big debut in history/legend was as a baby, he is well-known for his milk name A-Dou 阿斗, which means, essentially, Dipper.

If you’re writing a story, you really only need to worry about a milk name for your character if it’s a historical (or pseudohistorical) setting, and even then only if the character either makes an appearance as a small infant or you consciously decide to have them interact with characters who knew them well as a small child and choose to continue using the milk name. Not all parents, etc who could use the milk name with a youth or an adult actually did so.

Here are some milk names I’ve come up with in my fiction: Little Mouse/Xiaoshu 小鼠 for a girl, Tadpole/Kedou 蝌蚪 for a boy, and Shouty/A-Yao 阿吆 for a boy. In the first two cases the babies were both smol and quiet (as babies go). The last one neither small nor quiet, ahahaha. 蔷蔷 Qiangqiang, which is a pretty enough name meaning “wild rose” (duplication to make it lighter), except the baby is a boy, so this is the typical idea that making a boy feminine makes him worth less, which, yikes, but also, historically accurate. Also Xiaohei 小黑 “Blackie” for a work that I will probably never publish because I don’t ever see myself finishing it. I might recycle it to use on another story.

 Here are some more milk names I came up with off the cuff for a friend that wanted an insulting milk name. They ended up not using any of these, so feel free to use, no credit necessary. Rongzi 冗子 “Unwanted Child”; Xiaochou 小丑 “Little Ugly”; A-Xu 阿虛 “Empty”; Pangzhu 胖豬 “Fat Pig”;  Shasha 傻傻 “Dummy”.

PITFALLS!

Chinese has a lot of homophones. Like, so many, you cannot even believe. That means the potential for puns, double meanings, etc, is off the charts. And this can be bad, real real bad, when it comes to names. It is way too easy to pick a name and think to yourself “wow, this name is great” and then realize later that the name sounds exactly the same as “cat shit” or something even worse.

Some Chinese families live the name choosing life on hard mode because their surname is itself a homonym that can make almost any name sound bad. I’m speaking of course of the poor Wus and Bus of the world. You see Wu may have innocuous and pleasant surnames associated with it, but it also means “without, un-”. (Bu is similar, sounds like “no, not”.) Suddenly, any pleasant name you give your kid, your kid is NOT that thing.

This means picking a name that is pleasant in itself yet also somehow also pleasant when combined with Wu. So you might pick a character with a sound like Ting, Xian, Hui, or Liang - unstopping, unlimited, no regrets, immeasurable. A positive negative name, a kind of paradox. Like I said, this is naming on hard mode.

If you are naming an ancient character, I am going to say in my opinion you should ignore all considerations of sound, because reconstruction of ancient Chinese pronunciations is on some other, other level of pedantic and you just don’t need to do that to yourself.

For modern characters, however, an attractive name, in general, should be a mix of tones and a mix of sounds. As a non-Chinese speaker, basically this means especially if you go for a two character given name, having all three characters start with the same sound, or end with the same sound, can sound kind of tongue twistery and thus silly/stupid. That doesn’t mean that such names never exist, and can in some cases even sound good (or at least memorable), but how likely is it that you’ve found the exception? Not very. (Two out of three having repetition isn’t bad. It’s three out of three you have to be careful of. Something like Wang Fang or Zhou Pengpeng is probably fine; it’s something over the top like Guan Guangguo or Li Lili you want to avoid.)

Just like the West (sigh), in the modern Sinosphere it is widely acceptable for girls to have masculine names but totally unacceptable for boys to have feminine names. If you see the radical 女 which means woman, don’t choose that character for a boy, at least if you’re trying to be realistic. Now Chinese ideas of masculinity doesn’t have the same boundaries as Western ideas, but if you want to play around in those boundaries, you gotta do that research on your own; you’ve left what I can teach you in this already entirely too long tutorial.

Don’t name a character after someone else in story, or after a famous person. In some/many Western cultures, and actually in some Eastern cultures too (Japan is basically fine with this, for example), naming a baby the same name as someone else (a relative, a saint, a famous person, etc), is a respected and popular way to honour that person.

But not in Chinese culture, not now, not a thousand years ago, not two thousand years ago. (Disclaimer: I bet there is some weird rare exception that, eventually, somebody will “gotcha” me with. I am prepared to be amazed and delighted when this occurs.)

Part of this is because of a fundamentally different idea in Chinese culture vs many other cultures about what is valuing vs disrespecting with regard to personal names. The highest respect paid in Chinese history to a category of personal names is to the emperor, and what would happen there is that it would be under name taboo, a very serious and onerous custom where you not only have to not say the emperor’s name, but you can’t say anything that sounds the same as the emperor’s name.

Did I mention that this is in the language of CRAZY GO NUTS numbers of homonyms? The day-to-day troubles caused by observing name taboo were so potentially intense that there are even instances where, before ascending to the imperial throne, the emperor-to-be would change his name to something that was easier to observe taboo about!

So you see this is an attitude that says: if you want to honour and show respect to somebody, you don’t speak their name.

As the highest person in the land, only the emperor gets this extreme level of avoidance, but it trickles down all through society. You can’t use the personal names of people superior to you. Naming a baby after someone inherently throws the hierarchy out of whack. Now you have a young baby with the same name as a grown adult, or even a dead person, who is due honour from their rank in life. People who would not be permitted to use the inspiration’s name may now use that name because they are superior to the baby who received the name! This would mean that hierarchy was not being preserved, and oh my heaven, is there anything worse than hierarchy not being preserved? All of Chinese History: Noooooo!

Now. As an author—and I hope to God no one is using my Chinese name guide as a resource to name an actual human baby because I can’t take that kind of pressure—you can use the names of characters to inspire the names of other characters, in the following way.

Remember that I said that the key, the starting point, to naming someone in Chinese is to start from a value. Okay. So what you do, if as the author you want to draw a thematic connection between two fictional characters, is take the Inspiration character’s name, think about what the value is that caused that name to be chosen, and then go from that value to choose the New Character’s name.

If you’ll recall what I said about Gan Ning and his baby Wan, this is exactly the approach I took. Gan Ning had a placid single character name that belied his violent and outrageous personality; I chose a placid single character name for his similarly wild daughter to make them thematically similar. As an author, I named his baby after him. But within the context of the story, she was not named after him. Does the distinction make sense?

Values also run in families for obvious reasons. It’s very common to look at a family tree and see lots of names that follow a kind of theme and give you a sense that, eg, this family is rather low class and uneducated; this family is very erudite but a bit too fussy about it; this family is really big on Confucianism. So yes, as an author, looking to other characters for inspiration is not a bad idea.

Remember, a lot of times, as an author, you can and even should kick realism to the curb sometimes. If you want to make some Ominous Foreshadowing that Character A’s name is something to do with fire but! They name their child something to do with water and therefore they are destined to clash with their own offspring, gasp, you can do that kind of thing because you are the god of your universe. Relish your power.

Do you have any more questions? Feel free to send a PM or an ask. I hope this was helpful! Go forth and name your Chinese OCs with slightly more confidence!

Edit 22 April 2019: I added some more sections (fortune telling, Milk Names, and taboo on naming after people). I also need to overhaul the entirety of the previous to emphasize that even thought I thoughtlessly used “Chinese” as if it was synonymous with “Han”, there are non-Han Chinese and they can have very different naming customs. Mea culpa.

[mediacircuspod]

you’re my sky ep 1 review

9/10!!

it’s really hard for me to get into a series from episode one but this has me so excited for next week!! im a little biased because I LOOOOVE sports shows (sports anime is my absolute fave but *cough cough* don’t say no *cough* is also on my mind) and this is such a good start to a fantastic sports series!!

the episode was so fun and intriguing and entertaining! i found myself wanting to chant with the characters, and it kind of made me wish universities in my hometown had faculty welcoming parties like this 😂. i thought the flashback was well placed too, and the kid actors were fantastic !! I was so impressed with the quality and acting during the flashback scenes

I think the storyline is so intriguing too. The boys growing together, becoming a unit, and then splitting up due to a mean coach that they both had idolized was great writing. thorns promise to follow fah to university and make it to the senior team together is the reason for why our main lead is a freshmen in the faculty, and also shows us the main plot for the rest of the show. then at the end, realizing that although thorn beat the odds and was able to follow fah into one of the top university basket ball team in the country, fah is no longer a part of the team.

it begs the question of what happened in the time they were apart? what could have caused fah to give up his dream? In the flashback wheb explaining basketball, fah described it as a sport that isn’t played alone. a sport where you are able to rely on each other and always feel supported. I wonder if they’ll go into the importance of teamwork and how friendship/intimacy is a motivator in team sports during the progression of the show.

Last thing I want to mention is the acting performance. honestly I feel like it was stellar. I believed every single actor in this episode. usually when I’m watching dramas, I get taken out of the moment because a line falls flat or something was off with delivery and I end up not believing in the characters. I didn’t have this problem at all during watching this episode and it was so refreshing!! In fact, I believed them a little too mush and the whole crush scene made me feel so stressed out haha. The chemistry between the actors is amazing and I can tell there’s a lot of complicated feelings between the characters. cant wait to see them unpack that!!

Overall the set up was amazing, the quality was amazing, it left so many unanswered questions without being too heavy or overbearing, and the chemistry between the actors is felt. The reason I give it a 9 and not a 10 is because I’m leaving 1 point for future growth in the series. because I know this is only the start of an absolutely amazing series.

[random-blfan]

Alsar

Chapter 63: After the reconciliation ...

"Huh, Fer ... san, don't lick that! It's dir...ty..."

"Fufu, Ren is clean everywhere, right?" (綺麗/きれい: Can mean clean or pretty)

Fer-san, licked the top of my right foot after taking off the boot and the sock. I've been wearing my boots since noon, so it's definitely musty and dirty!

"No, I really hate it! Hmm."

If you don't say what you think, these guys will rush in .

I thought so and said it clearly, but before Fer-san stopped licking my leg, Sig-san started kissing me. Meanwhile, Fer-san is licking from the top of my foot to the ankle.

"Hmm ... Already! I'm angry with Fer-san right now, so don't annoy me ..."

"It's not just Fer... chu, are we ready?"

Oh, I didn't hear the whole thing ...

It's not like I care, but I'm resisting!

Sig-san kisses me lightly as if pecking, and Chris-san after unbuttoning all the shirt's buttons kisses around the side of my torso. 

With three people, there is stimulation from here and there ...

"Hmm ... You don't like it because it's dirty , right? So it's fine like this [Clean] " 

Eh? Why are you sighing as if it's something bad! ??

Am I in the wrong here! ??

I can't see it because Sig-san is blocking my view, but I can imagine what he looks like.

I'm sure he's making a face like 'Seriously Ren-kun, there's no helping it' 

[Clean] was applied to the three of them too, to all of us, Sig, who was kissing me shone for a moment too. 

I really didn't want to keep being licked like this, so I'm glad [Clean] was cast.

"Hey, Ren's scent has faded ... Well, if you sweat, the scent will get stronger ..."

"Fah ... What do you mean by scent!?"

Sig says after taking a deep breath around the back of my left ear.

odor? It smells, eh, I smell! ??

"I'm a beastman, so scent is important. Ren's scent is sweet, but it's not overwhelming and it's a wonderfully gentle scent , right?"

"I'm being praised ... I'm sure, but I'm not so happy ... Hmm ..."

Licking the edge of my ears almost chewing on the cuff, Chris-san sucks from the side to the top while changing place little by little, leaving marks, and before I realized Fer-san had taken my loose pants off . He seems to be absorbed in licking my calf. 

Thanks to that, I can't speak well.

"Look here, Ren-chan ~. Don't worry about sig, kiss me too."

"Hmm ... ah"

Chris said, unlike Sig's light kisses, he suddenly pries open my lips entwining his tongue with mine in a fierce kiss.

Sig-san and Chris-san start licking my ears from the edge to the inside and the wet sound their mouths make as they kiss me from both sides, echoes through the room.

"Oh, Ren, you're reacting well. Should I take this off too?"

"Hmm, ku ... a, ha ..."

As if to check if it’s erect my penis is stroked, tracing the shape on top of my underwear. 

And then my underwear is also taken off as it is. I don’t feel like resisting if we're here already. Chris-san is obstructing my mouth and his hand might be touching my right nipple, or not, with a delicate touch, Sig-san moves from my ear to my nape while sucking and he’s pinching the other nipple,  even though I wanted to help by lifting my hips a bit so it could be taken off, I can’t move my hips like this. (I didn't know how to translate this but basically Ren can’t move because of the stimulation)

When my underwear was slid down, my erect penis touched the outside air. (I feel like I could phrase this differently)

"Nchu ... Mmm ... Touch me ...please"

"Well, I’ll touch it, okay?"

"Huh ... huh, ah ..."

I break free from the kiss with Chris-san and ask Fer-san to touch me.

Fel, who easily fulfilled that wish, wrapped the rod part in a ring with his fingers, and began to stimulate the tip part with his mouth.

"Ren-chan? Will you do it?"

"Fa ... Ngu ..."

When he put his finger under my chin and turned my face to the right, Chris's penis, which had been uncovered,was right in front of me.

It isn't fully erect yet, maybe it's about half-raised …

I'm no longer reluctant to hold it, so I don't hesitate to put it in my mouth.

It's not fully erect, but it's big and fills my mouth.

I'm still scared when I think the day will come when I put this in my ass.

"Hmm ... Ren-chan, you're getting better ..."

"Chu ... hagu ... fa?"

"Ren, touch it before I go crazy" 

I really want him to feel good so I stimulate it with my tongue and rub the base with my right hand, Chris-san strokes my head gently, I’m really happy hearing him say those things for some reason.

In the meantime, I was stimulated here and there, Fer-san says it'll feel good, he releases my penis and grab my legs to fold them against my chest 

In this position my hips are floating, this really looks like a position to change diapers. (I feel like this could've been phrased differently but…I don’t know how)

Everything is in full view like this, even though they already saw everything it’s embarrassing.

"Ren’s body is so soft. Oh, can you touch me here too"

"Fa ..., Ngu !?"

Sig-san’s voice surprises me and brings my left hand to his penis, when I grasp it, he is completely erect and hard.

Then Sig's hand covered mine and started to move my hand as he wanted.

 I was focused on Sig-san and forgot a little about my own circumstances, a soft thing  pressed against and started spreading my butthole. 

Chris-san’s abdomen is right in front of me but I can’t see it , so it’s probably Fer-san who is licking me!

Because I feel breath in that area, and what seems to be Fer-san's long nose touching the space between my dick and my hole, the so-called perineum (Fun fact: 蟻の門渡り= Perineum. Uses the kanji 蟻 = ant, paired with the other two kanji google translates it as : ant gatewalk. This made my day) 

It is licked carefully as if to smooth out wrinkles and it tickles.

"Puha, Fel, don't lick that ..."

"Oh, I wonder are you done with your mouth? Then let me return the favor"

"Fue? ... Ah, hmm!"

When I took my mouth off of Chris-san and tried to get Fer-san to stop, Chris moved away from the side of my head and started licking my penis.

"No. If you think about it, I'm the only one who hasn’t done this. It's my turn today."

"Hmm! There ... Don't talk! Ah, hmm, ku ..."

It's kind of weird because he’s talking with his tongue in my hole and I can feel his breath.

What does he mean he’s the only one who hasn’t done anything, what about when he was licking my sole!?

He sharpens the tip of his tongue and screws it into my hole wet with saliva, prying into it.

"After all, saliva alone is not enough ... [Lubricant] Is this okay ... "

"Hmm, hmm ... there!

The lubricant comes out, coating my hole,  then a finger is inserted.

Then he found my weak point, which seems to be the prostate, and gently touched it, the entrance? the exit? he is licking it with his tongue.

My penis is licked by Chris-san, and Sig-san uses my hand to please himself, but the other hand is groping my nipple.

It's dangerous ... I might cum any time soon...

"Hey ... no more ... hmm, let me cum ... please ... oh ..."

"Fufu, that's fine. Please cum."

"Ah, ah ... huh ... huh ... huh ..."

"Ku ..."

One finger turned into two, stimulating my prostate, my penis which was being licked was sucked harder, my nipple was pinched too, and I was struck by multiple sensations.

Perhaps it was because I also put more strength into my hand, Sig-san squirted semen on my stomach.

"Hmm ... it was delicious?"

"Again ... you drank it ...?"

"Of course ♪"

I knew that I came in Chris-san's mouth, but he seems to have drunk it ...

He’s wiping his mouth with a smile, though it's definitely not delicious.

"Well, it looks like Sig came, but we haven't, so please help us out ~"

Because, Chris-san said it with a grin overflowing with pheromones, a chill went down my spine.

I’m exhausted but I had fun translating this chapter, it was weird but I’ll get used to translating smut, I think.  Anyway, it’s been a while, sorry about that, a lot of things happened, first I didn’t have time (Because of school) and then I wasn’t feeling well.

I’ll try to update once a week at least but I can’t promise anything, I have some time before school starts, though it’s online I’m still going to be busier, so maybe I can translate more than one chapter a week before that.

Stay safe wherever you are, feel free to tell me if there’s something wrong with the translation, if you feel like I should change something or if there’s something you’d like to ask.Hopefully I’ll be back next week with a new chapter.