#I mean I feel it’s more creepy when he’s using her as a pawn and doesn’t actively care about her wellbeing beyond sympathies

[stillthesunkenstars]

to groom or not to groom…. that’s the quastion .

[madd-devil]

Forget me Not

This is the part 2 of this first imagine :3 I hope you will all like it! Please tell me if you did!

@retrointhenow @athenalive

Summary: As people celebrates the return of Henry, you happen to catch a familiar face amongst the crowd but who is he?

Living with Rumpletilskin hasn't been easy on you.

First of all, he was, most of the time, speaking in ridiculous riddles and you never really understood him when he spoke. Second of all, he was a mean one. You had seen him killing someone for almost nothing, because he felt like it or wanted to show off. And finally, he always included you in his plans. That’s how you found yourself in an unknown town, with unknown people and with unknown features. People never called you by your real name but used one that never was yours. In this life, you weren’t (Y/N) the former pirate turned house slave for Rumpletilksin but Anne Gold, the adopted daughter of the town’s pawn shop owner.

After a blond woman named Emma came into town, you had suddenly regained your memories from being a maid or rather castle keeper of the Dark One. He seemed to also gain his back and immediately went back to “work” as he called it. It was strange, to pretend not to remember anything. It also seemed you were tied directly to his mind or spirit or magic, that could explain why you also remembered your life before that curse. Of course, you were forbidden from speaking about this to anybody, he made sure to threaten you very well and you also didn’t want to be locked up in the creepy psych ward of Storybrooke’s hospital.

Of course, it never was easy. Emma seemed to have taken an interest or liking to you and always walked by the shop when “mister Gold” was not present to talk with you. She even invited to a girl’s night with Mary Margaret aka Snow White and her mother if you had followed what Rumpletilskin explained to you. You knew you couldn’t agree to join them so you had to decline, and surprisingly it made you sad. Emma didn’t have any ill intentions toward you but she seemed comprehensive and gave you her personal number.

Thanks to Emma and her son Henry, (who was also the adopted son of the mayor… The whole family tree gave you a headache!), everyone now had regained their memories. Moving around the city was no longer easy: everyone saw you as the partner in crime of the Dark One. True, you had killed some people for him and did some crimes but to your defense, you couldn’t just not obey him. He had insisted a few times he could do whatever he wanted to you and could use his magic to make you his puppet. You preferred to use whatever free will you got instead of becoming more of a mindless slave. Also, Rumpletilskin was getting infuriated with that princess Belle, who also became his maid in their previous lives. Seeing them together made you gag so now he was falling more and more for her, you had a lot of free time.

Everyone celebrated when Hook’s ship, the Jolly Roger, appeared and accosted on the port. With Belle and Ruby the werewolf, you approached the giant boat, feeling uneasy. You didn’t know what could happen with the pirate captain, Hook. If your memory was well, he had thrown you out, in the face of danger. You had avoided him all the time he was in Storybrooke so you hoped the reunion will be quick. You wanted to go home.

Watching as everyone left the boat, which was a considerable amount of people, you caught a familiar face in the crowd. It was odd. Ruby seemed to sense your interest in that certain person and smirked.

“Already have a crush? I didn’t know you were the type.”

“No, I… I saw him before. I know him.” You stuttered out as you followed him with your eyes.

You knew him. It was the young man from your dreams. You had never attempted to draw him, but you had a clear image on how he looked and that tall boy looked exactly the same as he did. Maybe… Maybe you both indeed knew each other before your life as a pirate?

“What do you mean, you know him?” Ruby asked, confused at your statement.

“I have to speak to him, can you please keep the others at bay?” You begged her, knowing she won’t refuse it. She smiled and nodded. “Thank you.”

You jogged up to the young man who stood apart from the crowd. He looked quite angry at his predicament and was judging everyone his eyes wandered by. You hoped he would talk to you, he did seem not enjoying what was happening. However, his eyes noticed you and you saw some kind of sparkles in them, he was lighting up at your mere repsence. You didn’t udnerstand why but it meant you two definitely knew each other.

“(Y/N)! I thought I lost you forever.” He spoke first, his hands reaching for you but you stepped back, a bit worried. How did he know your name? Why did he sound concerned and happy? “Is something wrong? I mean, I know I told you were allowed to forget me but-”

“I am sorry I have no idea what you are talking about. How do you know my name?”

“You… You don’t remember?” He stuttered out, visibly horrified, his eyes wide opened. You tried to understand his reaction but you couldn't. "Are you… are you joking? After everything we went through?"

"I'm really sorry, I don't even know your name."

"It's Felix. But I thought-"

"Stay away from her, you dirty flea-ridden dog!" Rumpletilskin roughly pushed the lost boy, Felix, out of the way and he glared at him. "Don't torment her."

"I am not her tormentor! What did you do to her?! What happened to the deal?"

Wait, what deal?" You then questioned Rumpletilskin but you got no reply. Turning to Felix, you noticed how angry and furious he looked, reaching for something inside his sleeves. Your eyes widened: it was a dagger. What was he going to do?

"You fucking liar!"

"You didn’t know what you signed for, dearie." The Dark One replied with a condescending tone. "I wouldn't expect a lost boy to know how to read. No need to jam that thing into me, it won't work."

You were completely ignored by the two. The tension was running high and the others quickly ran over after they heard the screaming and the arguing. Felix was soon taken away and he trashed as he dragged, yelling to you he was going to explain himself.

“So… you know me, right?” You asked, hoping he wasn’t scared to tell you the eventual truth. Or were you scared of the truth yourself? “From before?”

“ I know you, and pretty well if you ask me.” He replied with a cheeky smile, it was so odd to see him that calm and… joyous. He approached the jail’s bars and seemed to regret it was separating both of you. You were still wary of him, especially after what Rumpletilskin told you the night before. “You have nothing to fear from me.” Oh, so he noticed how frightened you seemed.

“He said you tried to use me against Hook.”

“Ah, so he told you this? Well, actually, you were the one trying to use me to help Hook. It didn’t end very well.” He recalled with a soft hum. He looked angrier at Hook and the Dark One. “ You fell in love with me.” He eventually admitted, eying your reaction.

“I did? So fast?” You said, with almost disgust.

“I am glad you have the same reaction as before about that.” He laughed at your reaction before telling you his side of the story: you trying to use him, warning him against the pirates that were getting ready to attack the lost boy’s camp, the fight, you getting locked up into the trapdoor and him rescuing you… In a way, it made sense. Your memories were still hazy but somehow, you found yourself trusting and believing Felix more than the Dark One. His story made more sense, but then why couldn’t you remember?

“I am sorry.”

“Why are you? Nothing is your fault. It’s rather mine.” The blond young man sighed and sat on the metal and uncomfortable bed. “ I was so focused on your safety that I completely forgot or foolishly believed the Dark One would not harm you. I mean, he didn’t, but he blocked your memories and faked some. It’s… horrible.”

“ I would like to be the person you describe.” Your eyes met his and for a moment, you found yourself thinking about Neverland and how beautiful and dangerous it was… Did that mean you were recovering your memories? “ They say True Love Kiss can break any curse, perhaps it could break Rumple’s hold on me? I am linked to him.”

“You want me to kiss you?” He shyly asked, his cheeks a little red. It was cute.

“ Well… you did say we were very close and in love, haven’t we kissed yet?”

“ Erm… We did way more than kissing.” Oh. Now it was your time to blush. “ But it’s worth the try, if you are okay with this. I wouldn’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

Oddly enough, you were very comfortable with him. That boy had just showed up yesterday and you found yourself immediately drawn to him. That’s why you believed the lost boy than the rest. Approaching the bars, you fiddled with a magic key that took the form of any lock. Was it betrayal? You somewhat didn’t really care, what mattered was to discover the truth. The door opened without a sound, someone must have finally greased it.

He seemed very nervous to kiss you. He kept asking if you wanted to do this

“ I haven’t kissed anyone in years. I may be rusty. And how do you know this kiss will be a True Love’s one?”

“We will know, don’t worry.”

“I worry.”

You chuckled and decided to take the helm. Standing on your tiptoes, you watched as he hesitantly leant him and your lips met. However, nothing happened. But that didn’t stop you from pushing the taller boy against the wall and to continue kissing. You felt at your place in his arms, like he was your home and that you have been away for such a long time. And now, you were back.

Felix gently nudged you and you hugged him. He went tense for a little moment then hugged you back. He seemed relieved you were able to do physical things with him.

“What the heck is going on?!”

You yelped and broke away, to your dismay, from Felix. He didn’t say anything but instantly grew worried for his fate as an furious Emma walked toward you and yanked your arm.

“You, out!” You never thought she would be that angry at you and violent with you. She always seemed to be happy around you, and you had hoped to have a friend in her. Obviously, when it came to villains except the ones she spent time with, she seemed alright but when it came to the others…

“We weren’t doing anything bad.” You spat, frustrated at her anger. Felix was not a threat. He didn’t do anything wrong, and he certainly was not a villain like Regina or Rumpletilskin were.

“ We need to have a talk together.” The woman groaned and closed the door with a frown on her face. “Right now!”

“I will see you later, I promise!” You called out to the lost boy who just nodded, eying Emma with an equally furious glare.

Emma was mad at you for kissing him. She wouldn’t even let you explain yourself as she drove her awful car back to the pawnshop. But you didn’t want to enter the shop. You wanted to go back to Felix and his warm skin. Finally, you snapped and forced Emma to stay in the car. She was your friend, she was supposed to understand your actions, and while she may not support it, you just wanted to tell her how you felt.

“ I feel like he is the only one who isn’t lying to me. I just wanted to break away from everything and everyone. Rumple has been lying and using me, Hook did too. I just… Felix makes me feel normal and like I don’t have to walk on eggs all the time.” You blurted out as she was about to open her car’s door.

“What do you mean? Rumple told us-”

“He says a lot of things but not the truth.” You hissed, and glared at the door from the shop. You wished to set it on fire.

“Why did you kiss him?”

“ I wanted to see if a True Love kiss would break me from my link with Rumpletilskin.” You answered honestly and she seemed to soften at the mention. “ I just want to be normal. To be the old me.”

Emma stayed quiet. You stared nervously at her and then looked down at your knees. What if she didn’t believe you? What if she found your ideas silly?

“Fine.” She groaned and sighed, looking defeated.

“Fine what?”

“ I will not let you down, believe it or not, I care about you.” Emma started her car again and left the small parking lot. You smiled brightly as you recognized the road that led to Storybrooke’s police station. “ Let’s get your lost boy prince out and figure out what we can do to recover your memories.”

To prevent any blood feud, she decided to let Felix stay in the police station. It was still not confortable for your stands for him but you couldn’t possibly let him inside your home or Emma’s. You were sitting on a spinning chair and Felix on a desk, eying the chair with a confused look. He seemed at loss for words about it. Emma was pacing in front of you, trying to understand what Felix had told her.

“ Let me get this straight again: you and her were together, she betrayed Hook, she ran away and you made a deal with the Dark One.” She then looked at you and pointed her finger at you. “But you got your memories falsified and erased but you dreamt of your old life. So, now you are trying to find a way to break your link with Rumple.”

“ You got everything right. » Felix chimed in, swinging his legs back and forth. « And True Love’s kiss didn’t help.”

“Maybe we need to destroy the deal or… or force Rumpletilskin to let you go.”

“He will refuse. I know it.” You said, thinking about it. If you were honest, you were absolutely terrified of him. He may look like a sweet limping grandpa but… deep down he was very scary and frightening. All the events you had witnessed with him had led to the conclusion that he was overprotective and somewhat of a psychopath. He will try to kill or hurt Felix without any doubt. “Even with puppy eyes.”

“Then what do we do?” Felix groaned, his tone showing how discouraged he was. “It feels hopeless.”

“ Let’s not lose hope yet. There is always a solution.” Emma tried to cheer both of you up but it didn’t really work. It felt like she wasn’t believing it as well. “ So, Felix, are you okay staying here for the night? I can make the place more comfortable. We will find a housing solution tomorrow. And no, you can’t stay.” She stared at you with a small smile. “You have to dine at your house.”

“It’s not fair.” You muttered under your breath as Emma chuckled.

“Nothing is fair in life, kid.”

Dinner at your household was… chaotic. Usually, you wouldn’t even eat with them, but for the evening, you had been forced to do so. Neal or Baelfire (you never knew which name to use) was at the table, enjoying Belle’s cooking. For once, Rumpletilskin looked happy or was it just a facade? You kept thinking about everything that happened earlier that day: meeting Felix again had been the happiest and the most confused moment of your life. You were sad you couldn’t remember anything about the past and you secretly hoped to regain your memories quickly so you could run away with the lost boy. After all, wasn’t it your first wish at the time?

As you were getting distracted by your thoughts, you were soon forced to intereact with Neal and the others, to your dismay. You weren’t a part of the family, so why did they insist on speaking to you? You groaned some answers out as Belle talked to you and then, Neal went on to ask a question:

“So… How did you come to my father’s service?”

“He tricked my lover into making me his errand girl.” You answered, not even thinking twice about calling Felix your lover, which was nothing but the truth. But you secretly enjoyed the Dark One’s furious face at the mention of the story. “And he erased some of my memories.”

“You can do better than this low life snake.” The older man stated as he glared at you, which you did too. Belle tried to calm things down but it was not working. “Maybe I should have brought you back to Hook.”

“What’s wrong with Felix? Not as evil as you are?”

“Okay, erm, Belle, can I take another slice? This pie is delicious.” Neal tried to change the topic but it was too late: you were in the middle of jousting with the Dark One, and you didn’t like being interrupted.

“He is my father’s second in command, of course I was dying to hurt him. You are just collateral damage. Besides, I treated you well, didn’t I?!” Rumpletilskin roared, the room shaking a bit.

“You are a monster! That’s what you are!” You screamed back, standing up so fast and abruptly that your chair fell to the ground. You couldn’t help but feel repulsed by him and you couldn’t stand being in the same room as the deal maker. “No wonder everyone hates you, and should, you even abandoned your son! You are just like your father!”

It took all his might to not blow you up, you were certain of this. Storming out of the dining room, you stumbled into the shop and miraculously found a strange ruby which was beating inside a glass cage on a table, in a dark and dusty. Something was attracting you to the jewel and you didn’t hear all the commotion in the other room. As you realized the Dark One was shouting and was after you, you knocked the glass cage out (and it broke as soon as it touched the ground) and grasped the ruby.

You ran away in the dark of the night without even a jacket on. Groaning and warming your hands by rubbing them together, you pushed the door of your destination: Storybrooke’s police station. At this hour, no one was here, except for Felix. You hoped to not wake him up as you arrived. Taking out the ruby from your pocket, you inspected it closer: it reminded you of a little heart. Kind of cute, you thought. It was pulsing between your fingers as you looked at it. It truly was beautiful.

“Who’s there?” Someone called from inside the station.

“It’s me.” You said simply as you approached. “Can I turn the light on?” Felix agreed and he winced when the lights went on. He shielded his eyes for a little bit as you made your way toward him. “I found something.”

“Shouldn't you be with your family?” He questioned, concern in his voice. He truly looked like he was worried about you. You weren’t used to it but it felt nice to have someone who looked ready to walk through hell for you.

“They’re not my family!” You snapped and apologized for the outburst. You sat down at his level on the air mattress and extended your hand, with the ruby in your palm. “I couldn’t help but steal it.”

“It’s…” Felix started to speak but stopped as his eyes landed on the beautiful gem.

“Is something wrong?” You asked, worried. He looked frozen. He turned his attention to you and pointed to the jewel.

“Do you know what that is?”

“Yes, a ruby. I mean, a strange one, it is moving, like a heart. It’s probably magical, I stole it from the shop.” You replied honestly, not understanding why Felix was so worked up about this. He looked on the verge of crying.

“It is the piece of heart I gave to seal the deal with Rumpletilskin.” He revealed and softly and delicately took it between his fingers, inspecting it like you did. “He never used it.” He whispered, not believing it.

Watching Felix, you realized how much the second in command must have loved you. Making a deal with the Dark One was almost suicidal, not a lot of people could meet his incredible demands. But Felix did. He gave a piece of his heart, for you, for your safety. Romance was not dead, you joked internally. This was the greatest proof that he had cared deeply about you. You took his other hand and held it to your mouth, kissing his knuckles softly.

“He will kill you for taking it.” Felix suddenly seemed to realize you had stolen from the Dark One, but you didn’t care about him at all. Rumpletilskin could rot in hell. He deserved it.

“It’s yours. He should be the one dying.” You replied as you wondered how to place this little piece into Felix’s heart. You guessed it was not like a puzzle, and you couldn’t possibly sew it back to its place. Another mystery to solve. “We will find a solution.”

“Of course we will.”

You and Felix had bundled up on the air mattress. He had fallen fast asleep, snoring from time to time, but not very loud. You remembered how you had shared a room with someone once and they were snoring so loudly and badly that it made the walls shake and you ended up sleeping in the bathtub, not a very pleasant experience in your opinion. Laying there and looking at him, you wondered if you truly would regain your memories. You felt sad that you couldn’t remember your time with him. He was a sweet boy (at least toward you).

Someone was nudging you in the middle of a dream. Groaning, your eyes opened to a very concerned Emma. Felix was already sitting up in bed, his hair more tangled than ever. His eyes traveled to you and the older woman in the room. You rubbed your eyes and yawned. What time was it?

“What?”

“Rumple knows you are here and he wants to speak to you.”

“No. Tell him to go fuck himself.” You replied as you laid back onto the mattress. Felix was still silent, he must have felt he was not needed in the conversation.

“(Y/N)!” She sighed, exasperated. You understood why she looked so tired, especially of your behaviour, but she had to understand too: you had just learnt he manipulated you, fabricated and erased memories. It was not something you wanted to slide. He had done wrong again and again, this was his punishment. “Just do it. He is ready to… talk. To mend things. This is an unique opportunity.”

“I think you should do it.” Felix surprisingly told you and touched your hair softly. “Maybe you will get him to help with my heart.”

“What are you both talking about?”

“Nothing, don’t worry. I will go.” You didn’t want to leave Felix. What if Rumpletilskin wanted just to hurt you more? But he was right: he held the key to helping the second in command.

He was waiting outside, on a bench. Emma didn’t walk with you, she instead stayed at the entrance of the police station. The heart’s piece was in Felix’s hands and you trusted him more than anything. But why did you feel bad as you approached the older man? He looked a bit gloomy and desperate. He perked up when you arrived and stood up with the help of his cane.

“(Y/N).” He acknowledged with a nod. “I am happy you decided to come meet me. I wasn’t sure…”

“Get to the point.” You sternly interrupted and he sat back on the bench. You didn’t buy his sad puppy act. He did it with Belle when he messed up and she always forgave him, but it was not going to work with you.

“I know that you are very angry that I lied to you. I understand. I am not the only one to blame in this situation.”

“You erased my memories. You took that away from me! And you also used Felix.” You then accused, the way you saw it, he was the only one responsible.

“Just let me talk and you get to insult me after. I understand why you are worked up about this. Believe it or not, I grew to care and love you. That’s why I decided to let you go and destroy the deal from loverboy.” He blurted out.

You were at loss for words. Rumpletilksin never did that in the past, he never… never destroyed a deal? This was a trick. Surely it must be one. He was watching you like a hawk, awaiting your reaction. What should you do? What should you say? It was not your deal, it was Felix’s but… but you didn’t know to say or think.

“So?”

“I… Are you serious?” You took a seat next to him, observing his demeanor. “I don’t understand. You had never done that. Why would you-?”

“Get your old memories back and get the piece that you stole back into your lover’s heart?” The Dark One cut you off with a genuine and rare smile. “That’s because I care, like I said. I do care about you. I want you to be happy. That’s what differentiate me from that smelly captain.”

You were feeling bad about judging Rumpletilskin so fast. Maybe he indeed changed. Maybe spending time with Belle had made him soft but in the right way. You still couldn’t believe what he had just told you.

“Thank you. I don’t know how to repay you.” You babbled out as he stood up and you followed him back to the police station.

“You can’t repay me. I feel… sad that I have to let you go. But I can’t keep you forever. You will have to leave the nest one day. And I am sure you will be well protected by this… gorilla.” He talked as he quietened down since Emma was listening.

“Don’t call him that.”

Anxiously, you watched as Felix stood tall, trying to make himself bigger as he faced the Dark One. As you understood well, the two had an unpleasant history together, which was linked to Peter Pan. And considering Rumpletilskin had already fooled him, you understood why your lover was on edge. Luckily (or not) Emma was present, making herself the referee. She waited like you, her arms crossed over her chest.

Rumplestiltskin had Felix’s heart’s piece in his hand. He was looking at it, seeming regretful. Maybe he was disappointed he didn’t use this piece for a powerful magic spell or curse. You couldn’t wait until it was finished. You were so eager to gain your former memories back. You wanted to remember all your time with Felix.

He snapped his fingers together abruptly, a parchment appearing out of thin air. It held a choppy and childlike signature at the end. You couldn’t read everything on it as a fire burnt it down, the ashes falling to the ground. As it did, you felt a swirl of emotions and something else in the pit of your stomach, as if you were about to throw up from nausea. Then, it was your turn to fall into Emma’s arms.

When you awoke, you weren’t inside the police station anymore but rather on a very comfortable sofa, with a blanket over your body. You slowly sat up and looked around, remembering now it was Snow and Emma’s place. How did you end up there? And what happened? Your head was hurting so bad, it felt like a morning after drinking too much. You were feeling like you had been put in the washing machine and then the dryer.

The events came back to you quickly as well. You remembered everything, including your erased memories. You smiled a little, thinking about your first meeting with the second in command or when he saved you from Hook. It meant it worked. Rumpletilskin had set you free. You felt relieved and thankful toward the Dark One. He had honored his part of the deal or rather… his promise. Hoping he had put back Felix’s heart together, you slowly stood up as you heard people speaking. Everyone stopped once they realized you were up.

“Hey kid. Had a nice nap?” David joked as he handed you a cup of coffee.

“Did it work? You have all your memories?” Emma questioned, looking a little concerned for your wellbeing.

“Yeah, I do. Where’s Felix? Is he okay?” It was your turn to be worried, he wasn’t present. Your eyes scanned their faces and they didn’t seem to share a dreadful face or your thoughts.

“He’s fine, he is getting new clothes and probably a haircut… and a bath. Belle is handling everything.” David replied, seeming grateful he wasn’t the one to do that.

They went back to talking about anything. Since you were bored, you sat on a stool and drank your coffee quietly, not caring about the world around you. What now? Rumpletilskin had kind of kicked you out by now, since you weren’t his slave anymore. It felt weird to have freedom. And what could you do with Felix? Stay in Storybrooke, working and having your own place together? It sounded like a dream, but it wasn’t exactly the life you wished for. You were still hungry for adventure and exploration. But you didn’t know if Felix felt the same. You wanted to know about his intentions.

“Do you love him?” Emma asked suddenly with a serious tone after the others left. You had been sitting in the kitchen for so long your ass started to hurt.

“I do.” You replied sincerely and stared into her eyes. “I can’t live without him. He gave his heart for me, if he wasn’t in love with me… He wouldn’t have done that.”

“And you wouldn’t have stolen his heart’s piece from Rumple if you didn’t care.” The blond woman sighed with a sad and small smile. She seemed to have an internal debate with herself before approaching you and giving you something. “Open it.”

You did as you were told cautiously. You gasped at the sight of a magic bean, just waiting to be used. Your eyes met Emma’s and you couldn’t even form a simple sentence. You had so many questions: how did she acquire this? Why is she giving it to you? Why was she helping?

“It’s Neal’s, he also found it in the shop and wanted you to have it.”

“Why?” You whispered. Why would Rumple’s son help you? You barely knew each other!

“He said, and I agree with him, that you and Felix won’t be happy staying in Storybrooke. You need to write your own story elsewhere, go on adventures, be young and careless, this kind of stuff.” She continued, and you could see tears pearling in her eyes. She seemed very serious about letting you go and she had considered you like a little sister. “I am fine, don’t worry about me.”

“Thank you so much Emma.”

“Go. Be free.” She hugged you. Was this what freedom tasted like?

Packing hadn’t been easy. You had bought a ton of things as if you were going hiking. Of course, you brought weapons: guns, ammunitions, swords, a crossbow for Felix… And food. You put on the hiking back on your shoulders, wincing a bit when you nearly fell on the ground because of the weight. It didn’t matter. Felix knew how to hunt and fish, you were sure he was great at it, and you had brought some magical items in case something went wrong. You intended on exploring realms with him. You contemplated yourself in your small bedroom’s mirror, you only had the bare necessities in your whole life. Maybe you could have everything you wanted now? It felt strange, to think you had your destiny and faith in your own hands.

You wondered if Felix was alright with this. You were so happy about leaving or being able to do what you wanted that you forgot what he may want. Perhaps he wanted to stay here? He had been living on a dangerous island for centuries, maybe he would like to live in Storybrooke, where life was quieter but with its share of adventures and dangers? Feeling bad, you put the bag down on the ground and sat down with a sad sigh on the bed. You needed his opinion. You snorted, thinking about how this was the first step to being a good and healthy couple.

Speaking of the devil, Felix knocked softly on your open door and stepped in with a smile. His hair wasn’t cut but still wet, and you thought about poor Belle who must have dragged him to a hairdresser. She had told you it was her intention, but seeing his hair hasn’t changed… Well, she must have lost to the fierce lost boy. He sat down next to you and gestured to the bags on the ground.

“What’s all this?”

“Well… I thought that we could go on adventures, just the two of us in another world.” You said with a silly smile, it felt unnatural to do it but at the same time… with him, it felt normal. “I mean… I don’t know if you want to do it. What you feel matters too. I will be willing to stay.”

“Stay? Here? With all those fucking heroes trying to tame me?” Felix replied, putting a hand on his chest, looking scandalized. At least he was funny. “No way. Sharing a home with you, yes, but not here. Not with them.”

“So you are okay with me taking the lead?”

“I will give you my heart if I can.” He spoke sincerely and kissed your nose softly.

“Technically you did.”

[altocat]

Going off your post earlier where you mention Jenova planning to try to mate with Sephiroth herself one day, how do you think Seph would respond when that day comes? Would the trauma of his "mother" suggesting such a thing be enough to sever his attachment to her?

(I do not mean this ask in a creepy way because ew yuck. I am simply fascinated by the psychological affects that would have on Sephiroth and your analysis of him is just so good.)

Sephiroth, in whatever bits of genuine human emotions that still exist within him, is horrified and disgusted. It's a very clear betrayal of everything she "promised" him, as well as a violation.

He still needs her, of course. She is part of him down to his cells and severing himself from her at this point would create incredible, inconsolable damage. But the betrayal still stands. And no matter how many times Jenova suggests that it's for the good of spreading their species/influence, there's still too much human in Sephiroth to completely recoil at the idea.

It's enough to momentarily break their perfect unity, with Sephiroth shoving Jenova as far back as possible. He's still extremely insane and evil and twisted, but now she's no longer a vital figurehead in his game. She's nothing more than an asset he can use for his own benefit, leeching off her strength and abilities to meet his goals without keeping her on as his equal.

Only now...everything feels different. Jenova is all he has left, the thing he threw away everything for. His Mother. His only family. And to be betrayed by her of all people sends Sephiroth into the complete awareness that he is alone. Truly, completely alone. What's more, it sparks lingering feelings of abandonment and pain that he experienced in life as well, adding to the pile, adding to the paranoia and distrust. Only now, Jenova's in on it too. They're ALL in on it. Sephiroth will never know peace, not even in the arms of his own mother. There's nothing he can do. There's no way out. He will always, ALWAYS be someone's pawn to use and abuse. Their tool. Their weapon.

Their puppet.

Sephiroth no longer wishes to rule the planet or the universe at large. He doesn't care anymore. He's going to destroy conscious reality solely as a means of ending it for everyone, himself and Jenova included. He's realized what he truly is--a monster. A monster born of another monster. And a monster he shall die, an end to suffering, an end to everything. There's nothing left.

[dumpster-lizard]

We need more shipping positivity out here so I'm gonna go off about all the Ghirahim ships I can think of and why they're rad. Now, if you purely like vanilla ships, you might not like these for the same reasons I do! I love toxic and/or angsty dynamics, and love the darker sides of all these ships so I'm going to focus a lot on those parts. I'll look at the vanilla perspective where I can too. If you like this and want me to try another Zelda Character (preferably a villain) shoot me an ask and I can do this for other characters!!

GhiraLink - The OG- I feel like most people who ship him with anyone shipped him with Link first. I certainly did. There's a ton you can do with them man. Link is tied to Zelda as Ghirahim is tied to his master and both are pawns in the greater scheme of things. You can do so many ways - personally I do prefer the darker route that plays into the creepy obsessive side of the character. The softer versions of the ship are nice too, though personally I like it better when you can see Ghiras development in these depictions. They can find solace in each other post game- and if you hc Demise was a bastard to Ghirahim this is also an opportunity for him to unlearn all the bad shit. Ghirahim becoming Link's new sword too? agh, Good Soup.

GhiraDemi: Master/Servant dynamic is ALWAYS a winner in my book. The adoration Ghirahim has for Demise is fantastic, and makes for a great dynamic whether it's returned or not. Again, I do like the darker route here, cause they are both mean bastards- I like the idea of Demise rubbing off on Ghirahim... but also think it would be rad if Ghirahim was deeply disturbed and violent BEFORE they met. Let them be terrible together, let them be CODEPENDANT! The angst potential for this ship is absolutely fantastic, and regardless of the level of toxicity you prefer - you KNOW he didn't handle it well when Demise was sealed, and he was left alone for centuries. I

DemiGhiraLink: Real ones know. Kudos to the folks who have made it their own and put different spins on it.

GhiraFi: I've drifted away from this ship, but it's still the parallels that get me. How they are functionally for the same purpose but so different? Have they always been like that? Which one changed? There are so many stories you could give them that could provide a variety of rich histories. I personally love the angst portion here. Love a good betrayal. Adore the scenarios people come up with where Ghirahim speaks to Fi during the events of the game, whenever she's separated from Link. And, of course, depending on whether you think she was changed, he could realize there's something wrong, this isn't the person he knew, and he would never get the closure of explaining himself. Or, if she remembers... Ghirahim being cold to her to avoid his feelings so he can do his job. Maybe a solemn understanding on Fi's side.

GhiraZant: Two super different guys dedicated to the same master. Both are massive creeps in their own right (see Zant's confrontation with Midna after the water temple), but have way different motives. Zant wanted to be a king. Ghirahim wanted to serve a king. I can see that being a good source of conflict. Perhaps they could find solace in each other if they ever understood they were being used.. or just magnify each other's obsession with their master. I suppose it depends on how much either of them remember. Does Zant remember the end of TP? Does Ghirahim remember the end of SkSw? The timeline of Hyrule Warriors is pretty unclear. Of course, there are AUs where Zant finds Ghirahim in TP...

GanGhira: Very similar to Ghirademi, but give Ghira some internal conflict about serving this mortal who's so different from his perfect master. Would he hold Ganondorf to higher standards? Would he just settle? Would he admire Ganondorf with the same fervor he did for Demise? Or, perhaps he sought Ganondorf out purposefully to continue his master's legacy. I have a lot of thoughts of a sword spirit mentoring a younger Ganondorf though sword fighting, dark magic, and seeding a deep hatred for the Goddesses. And it wouldn't be difficult, Hyrule really does create its own enemies.

GanGhiraZant: Combine the above two and add in Zant's dynamic with Ganondorf, and you've got some good soup babes GhiraVaati: I like Ghirahim, and I like Vaati (understatement of the century). And these two could NOT be more different. Vaati is essentially the hylian equivalent of a fae that decided he wanted to be a god and has a serious issue with authority. Meanwhile, Ghirahim is drawn to authority to the point he "waited his whole existence" for the chance to bring his master back. Now, perhaps Ghirahim would admire Vaati for this - ignoring his minish origins. But if we throw Ganondorf in the mix, I'm talking rivalry, I'm talking petty fights, hohoho it can get UGLY! Good opportunity for Enemies to rivals to friends to lovers here.

Getting into ships I'm not too knowledgeable on --

GhiraZel: Look. Heroine/Villain ships rock. Especially if you go with the HC Ghirahim betrayed Hylia and/or was her original sword. Perhaps he has some lingering regret about that. Perhaps he has mixed feelings about sacrifincing her- or perhaps he redirects his feelings into something more malicious. This isn't a ship I'm personally drawn to but there are quite a few possibilities and Godspeed to the folks that ship this, you rock.

GhiraVolga: Look a dragon getting possessive over what he deems a valuable treasure just gets to me ok. Two monsters, both keeping a barely restrained facade, but one that can turn into a fire-breathing monster at will? It's been a while since I indulged in this ship, but I know firsthand there ARE fics out there that explore this better than I can.

GhiraImpa: Could be an interesting history with these two. Considering, Ghirahim certainly have very intense feelings towards her in game. To the people who ship this rarepair I see you and I love you.

I know I definitely missed some, so feel free to send me any other rarepairs so I can send them some love too!

[deerblossoms]

i need to buy a new journal. i have a sketchbook i occasionally use to write in but it’s not its purpose and i have no drive to write in it, really. yesterday i wore my new steve madden mary janes to drop off a resume at molasses and when i got home the tops of my feet were cut up and leaking. i don’t want to put a bandaid on them. today i thought i’d stab myself. no real intent, just a wild thought that put me in a trance. of one deep, red, flowing hole in my forearm.

i would love to work at a bookstore. if i could work somewhere and set a playlist and then read all day, reorganize books, sweep and lock up, i’d be so happy. if i could be happy i would be. if i have to go to work today i think i’ll die, but i’m on the train anyway. i could have an interview on friday and i will go to the artist and craftsman in williamsburg and buy oil paints for noel’s portrait. i keep reminding myself why i don’t go on instagram anymore. matt followed me but he hasn’t texted me. matt and kayla follow each other and i wonder if they’re still friends or if they’re dating. i don’t know why it bothers me. sometimes i think about texting her and asking to meet up for coffee and by coffee i mean i’m hoping for bathroom sex even if i know it wouldn’t happen. i haven’t done it because it’s a bad idea and i have incredible impulse control or maybe i just don’t have the energy to take risks anymore.

today i got a free pastry from the coffeeshop that i know i can’t eat but i might anyway but see above & therefore the truth is i probably won’t. i feel like hibernating and becoming new and by that i mean i’m waiting for my hair to grow out before i try going clubbing. i read all of ‘i’m thinking of ending things’ this morning and it was thoroughly chilling & creepy. noel couldn’t believe i read the whole book in two hours but i maintain it’s a pretty a short book. these new iphone cameras catch every pore and i have never been more self-conscious. and of course that’s intentional and everything’s tied to everything and i am just a pawn. but i’m trying to get off the grid anyways. i would like to go to the dentist and fix my teeth. they need general maintenance and probably some cavities filled knowing me but also they’re so yellow and i feel like they stick out and i’d even get braces, maybe. which would be embarrassing but then one day my teeth wouldn’t stick out anymore. sometimes i’m scared i’m ruining myself but isn’t that just age? i never wanted to take care of myself as a kid and now i’m learning what it means to hate what you see in the mirror.

joan and i haven’t talked much recently and i am okay with it. i’m just too easily obsessive about things anyways and so i’m giving them space. it’s sad how much it used to bother me but now i feel secure that nothing’s wrong and they just haven’t felt like talking. i’m not sure i feel much like talking either but i do miss their company. i’m concerned with how they’re handling their breakup but i trust them and believe they’re okay. i want to visit washington again now that it’s fall. i wonder if i could ask margarita if i could stay with them. sometimes new york looks so beautiful on its own and sometimes i look out of the train car from the bridge and the skyline next to the water makes me think of seattle even though the cities look nothing alike. but then it looks beautiful in a different way. if i’d gone to cornish i would have a BFA this spring. but i would have never gone to cornish. maybe if things had turned out differently i could’ve worked something out. i could have just taken my SATs and took honor classes in my senior year and and then applied after a gap year but knowing me i would have been too impatient and i would’ve wasted a year and a half begging. my parents’ abuse taught me how to wait. but it never happened so it doesn’t matter and isn’t worth thinking about. i am avoiding people and reaching out to people who avoid me so clearly i’m craving solitude and ensuring i experience it. someone i worked with for three weeks dmed me on instagram to ask if kayla and i broke up and told me i didn’t have to answer. but why would you even ask? she’s a grown woman too. i’m not going to respond and am a little annoyed by it but truly i just think it’s silly. i almost quit today. i wouldn’t have ever gone through with it but i wanted to so badly. this job makes me crazy. the building makes me crazy. the mundanity drives me insane. but once i get on the train there’s nothing more to think about. clocking on is an inevitability and instinct and muscle memory and reason beat impulse. there was an ice cream shop in seattle called moo moo’s, i think. i don’t know why i’m thinking about it now. i went there once late at night and, despite everything i’d ever done in seattle before it, the memory feels like my first taste of living in a city. ‘i’m thinking of ending things’ says all memory is fiction but my whole life has felt like fiction and it’s only when someone’s fingers are in my hair gently untangling my curls that i feel in the moment, real. everything else is just something i’ve written.

i miss the pink braids i wore two years ago. i could never get an even part and the braids stuck out like pippi longstocking’s but when i looked in the mirror my reflection smiled back, ruddy and beautiful.

[screechthemighty]

More notes! Please be aware that I could not follow a SINGLE damn fight scene in this manga, especially since I was reading it on a time crunch. This is going to be a recurring thing going forward. It's not Nightow's fault, I can't follow comic fight scenes for shit.

TriMax Notes: Vol. 5

TriMax #5.1: The City, and then the Banquet of the Dogs

Oh shit July Flashbacks!!!

OH. COUNT REVENANT. CONRAD!!! Vash was accused of murdering him!

They were…nice…to him…sobs???

Vash thinking of Meryl and pushing on…sobs…

Still unclear as to who zipped off Zazi’s arm but! Moving on.

TriMax #5.2: [Forgot To Write The Chapter Title LOL]

So…the Gauntlet had his…family? Loved one??

OH it was Gauntlet [who ripped off Zazie’s arm] so Zazie would stay out of it [Note: Seriously I couldn’t follow the action in this part at all]

…WOLFWOOD’S BEEN BLINDED THIS WHOLE TIME???? [Note: See previous bullet point lmao]

“Your only gift is the blessing of the gods of battle, yet you press on, inch by inch, you devil.” -Midvalley, about WW

“Found you, Player” *twirls hair* Soooooo there’s this undertaker

TriMax #5.3: Loss

“Even with your unseeing eyes…instinctively shielding her…how very intriguing!” THAT’S MY MAN

THEY WERE EXPERIMENTING I mean TBH this is just. Slightly less upsetting than TriSTamp now that I think about it.” [Note: I realized like halfway through writing the sentence that experimenting on Vash is just par for the course with Knives's bullshit]

“It’s okay. Just resonate with mine” what the FUCK [Note: I almost feel like this should be a CW but I don’t know how to phrase it. General Knives creepiness????]

“I hate you, Rem. You were the one who made him like this” YELLS

Grinding Millions Knives into the DIRT [Npote: I underlined dirt so hard it’s basically a solid black bar. I hate that man.]

TriMax #5.4: Villain

Oh he’s accidentally psychically feeding his memories to Gantlet and Meryl OH SHIT

Seems to be done through feather touch

WW pointing a gun at MIlly to try and scare her off and she WON’T GO AAHH

“Don’t talk to me about morals. We’ll both get our lips burned.” Okay Mildvalley that was pretty raw I’ll give you that

NO GO AWAY LEGATO

Wow tumblr wasn’t kidding he did not HESITATE to put Midvalley down when he tried to leave again [Note: He was probably looking for an excuse at this point tbh]

TriMax #5.5: Death Deal

OH HELL YES BIBLICALLY ACCURATE VASH

Oh hi New Body Zazie

OH…Legato has both Gauntlet and angle!Vash frozen and somehow his brain hasn’t popped??

This is THE most bonkers Mexican standoff

“Who’s going to play the next card?” IT’S MERYL STRYFE WITH THE STEEL DERRINGER!!!!

Legato you got shot in the face STOP TALKING

“If you cannot even be a pawn, then you die here, too!” -Legato

AND USING MIDVALLEY’S CORPSE TO SHOOT THEM LIKE!!!

Okay damn yeah good timing Elendira he was definitely about to angel arm blast EVERYONE

TriMax #5.6: Let Us Walk the Path to Redemption

“If I save one life, will it be as though I was born alone? Will that life be a good one?” (Vash) YELLS

“All that pent-up energy [is] looking for a way out” So yeah exactly like July in TriStamp

“He saved me. I’m as wicked as ever today. I was about to destroy that which he holds most dear” (Legato) There is. SO much to unpack in those 3 sentences

“The name I have tried to forget…the mistake I have tried to seal away…that which cannot be undone…I must…go on…” (Vash) saves this for the time travel AU…

“I don’t know! How can I know?! But [...] all those lives I extinguished…they were so kind…” (Vash) gnawing!!!

Okay yeah Legato is DEAD SET on killing Vash, and also was being carried by his…weird gimp suit servant until Elendira set in [Note: Again I have questions but I’m not sure I’ll like the answers]

“You…live and suffer. I won’t kill you. I’ll let you go on living, spitting up blood day by day in this shitty world” (Gauntlet) Oof

Vash burying the bodies and then bowing “incorrectly” so he can put more feeling into it ogghh!!!

AND THEN DRAGGING WW TO HELP FIX THE TOWN AAAA

[stackslip]

its actually good that the anime has been making me rethink himeno bc theres been more discourse around her (including some genuine poor taste ones about her and makima doing a "groom-off") and i genuinely didnt feel strogky enugh about her to really care. but with the recent ep + a quick reread of her chapters she reads as neither an angel nor as a toxic predator but rather as v similar to misato nge to me. as in like, shes someone who is very clearly deeply traumatized, who has a poor sense of boundaries in general in part bc of that trauma, and who was handed this teenage boy as a partner to eventually lose but instead he lived. it's very clear to me that while shes not what id call actively predatory, she does have some massive issuss in how she treats aki and then denji–i dont think shes been grooming aki, as grooming is a process and one that requires actual thought and planning, while himeno is like...... her romantic interest in aki is creepy but he is in his early ywenties by the time shes seriously considering courting him. and with denji its not a process either, rather a series of pisspoor decisions coupled with spcietal expectations that it isnt bad for an older woman to act inappropriately with a teenage boy.

tbc this isnt defending her or saying shes just a poor soul nlah blah quite the contrary, theres a reason i compare her to misato. your mileage can vary on what to call her or what words to use to describe her actions, but they are at the very very least deeply inappropriate and creepy. and like, its important to think of why shes like this and what her actions mean in the larger context of chainsaw man's exploration of abuse and power dynamics. she is, again, deeply traumatized and alone, and when aki shows all signs that hes going to live she puts a SHITTON on him and develops a really unhealthy relationship to him; even as a teen he seems more aware of appropriate boundaries than she is and has to learn to navigate their relationship in a far stricter manner than she does.

but its worth asking why they became partners in the first place–to question the environment of public safety. its not jsut that rookies die so easily, its that anybody can join as long as they have the will to 1) give up on their lives entirely to go adter the gun devil 2) make contracts that will cost them immensely. aki is a teen when he joins, hes lost his entire family and he's what public safety seeks–new blood, someone who'll disregard their safety for work, someone with no attachments. the buddy system is presented as being for safety reasons, but ngl i think its also to purposefully foster codependency and an active desire for vengeance when one buddy inevitably dies. public safety has tight regulations and a union and paid holidays and they are very okay with roping in vulnerable teenagers to their deaths or worse! how old was himeno when she joined? did she do it for the money for her fathers medicine? did anybody notice this backstory is revealed at the same time we learn kobeni was forced by her family to join public safety? at the same time its made clear that power and denji have absolutely no agency in this situation?

i think...... himeno is, at best, deeply irresponsible and lax on boundaries and has a real peoblem with using teenage boys as emotional crutches. at worse she assumes none of her behaviour could ever be genuinely bad because shes an older woman and theyre all colleagues, haha hoohoo, and yeah that makes her a predatory creep. shes also incredibly tragic, and its ok to admit both these things coexist in her. she's another pawn that works at public safety, a resource to be consumed, the deaths around her and her trauma the fuel to her workplace motivation. and like, it says a lot that everyone is perfectly ok with her behaviour towards denji–theres obviously the societal perceptiom of that kind of dynamic (even as himeno herself is like oh shit thats illegal aint it), but also like.... relationships there are deeply skewed on purpose because death and suffering and fucked up hookups and the exploitation of vulnerable people–including teenagers–is so normalized. like what, you gonna call your adult colleague *predatory* for flirting with the their own teenage colleague who'll probably die a gruesome death any day bc thats just part of the job? you gonna talk about how its weird for your workplace acquaintance to be so intimate with their underage buddy when you're currently working with a 15 year old who is consumed by vengeance for their family and will either die within the year or stay as a fucked up husk of a person selling their every body part to save your life?

[strawberryjamsara]

Keiji and Sara’s relationship throughout yttd

In which I analyze the found family dynamic between Sara and Keiji then nobody reads it. But jokes aside, I realized back when that anon asked me for my thoughts on Sara that I had enough thoughts on the relationship between these two alone for its own meta so here goes. What Sara and Keiji’s relationship means in the grand scheme of yttd.

ALSO THIS IS NOT SHIPPING SHIPPERS GET THE FUCK AWAY

Sara when she meets Keiji is distrustful of him. And how can she not be? The guy has some creepy bags under his eyes, doesn’t seem to care about the situation, and for no reason is gravitating towards her. And his response when she asks why the hell he keeps putting a random stranger in charge? “Because you’re cute.” Yeah. I’d stay within 50 feet of this guy too Sara. Especially when he’s not spilling a word about himself.

Alright we might as well get the gross part out of the way. To clear things up. In the Japanese version, the word he uses “Kawai” can be seen as a more fatherly word to use with a kid. But the comments about going on dates from himself and from Shin? Those are still there. And I still think they’re really uncomfortable and wish they weren’t in the game period but we can get thematic significance out of them.

We still don’t know Keijis reasons in game for being attached to Sara. My theory? She’s his handicap. He was told to get close to the higher scorer who could easily backstab him, and he’d be stuck with her. It just kinda makes sense to me. But since that’s just a theory I won’t lean to heavily on it for support. But let’s talk about his comments.

Keiji… well, it’s shown at many points in the game that Keiji just thinks of himself as doomed to be a bad person. It can be seen during his day two negotiations when he calls himself a killer and explains he can’t even trust himself so Sara shouldn’t really bother and more explicitly so is the classroom scene between him and Ranmaru where he says he isn’t fit to protect Sara because of his sins. The flirting is both a way to distract people, and to put distance between himself and Sara. He’s not really “protecting” her.

Okay gross bit nobody wants to talk about is over I promise we won’t talk about it again. Let’s talk about Russian Roulette. In this scene, Keiji once again tries to make Sara the leader with no explanation, but then, Sara yells at him, something he didn’t expect. And through this he actually reveals something huge. The source of his trauma. His shooting. For Keiji to have actually revealed something that big, I think that this is the first moment he began to see Sara past whatever reason he first started making her a leader. This is the beginning of their bond.

This bond gets solidified over chapter 1-2s investigation. Keiji is still putting her in charge because his handicap said to build her up for whatever reason, but they’re able to have chats, and she keeps picking at his armor. He reveals his dark sense of humor to her, and she, suspicious just sort of keeps him at arms length. Also she rides his shoulders to screw in a light and he complains which is funny. The scene post Nao also helps the two of them sharpen investigative skills together, as they discuss the mystery of Miley, and Mishimas head.

Then another significant scene. The white room. I call this scene significant because, instead of letting Sara investigate the gruesome scene of the first trial, Keiji for the first time, allows Sara to walk out. Something that will become relevant later but until then, Keiji has begun to put Sara’s well-being above serving whatever purpose he had by building her up. So keep that in your pocket while we go over the main game.

There’s only two points for the main game I want to cover. While Keiji and Sara do put their heads together a few times, Sara still doesn’t fully trust him, so I will only go over 1. When Shin brings up Kai’s emails. Keiji has been fully logical this whole time, questioning everyone’s alibis including Nao’s who he saw the emotional plea from, but when Sou brings up potentially damning evidence of Sara, he just asks if he read the emails wrong. 2. When Sara is panicking over being chosen for the final round, Keiji loudly shouts “GET A GRIP SARA!” With a serious expression. Before quickly backtracking and going back to a devil may care expression. This shows he is both already emotionally attached to Sara, but unwilling to stake himself towards giving himself to a new cause.

Anyways, he stops her from pressing the button blah blah blah, onto chapter 2! I’ve made a post about this before but it seems as early as here, Keiji is trying to talk Sara down from pushing herself further. But at this point, Sara has already dedicated herself to the role because her best friend died due to her priority to protect everyone. Keiji sees the problem and he tries to get her to rest up, but he still doesn’t spend the time to have a serious talk about it because as he says in the classroom. He isn’t fit to protect her. He doesn’t think of himself as a good person who can help her. He thinks of himself as a murderer and he doesn’t allow himself to recover from the trauma.

Sara however is starting to rely more on Keiji. He’s been willing to comfort her in her times of grief and furthermore, she has something to relate to him on. They both have deaths of important people in their lives they feel responsibility for.

There’s also the fact that Keiji sees a lot of his old self in Sara. An idealistic person, being beaten down, and worrying over the idea they might be becoming a bad person. He feels the same as her.

Not to mention… Keiji follows through on his promises. He actually tells Sara about the person he respected like he said he would which establishes a further sense of trust.

However, something that tears that sense of trust apart is the tokens scene. When Keiji doesn’t even let Sara hold 50 tokens, it raises suspicion. Sara already knows he shot a person- what more could he have to hide? That scares her away. The negotiation event is an attempt for Keiji to win back her trust. But it slowly turns into Keiji’s self-loathing session. And his declaration maybe Sara shouldn’t trust him.

However, time passes enough (and Keiji supports Sara enough in the final attraction) for them to get together and investigate in 2-2. And there’s a lot of moments I can talk about there so I’ll be just doing a few rapidfire things. So first, Sara is in peak weird girl mode and Keiji can hardly control her chaos. Second, Keiji makes a full on decision at one point to go against Sara when she’s putting herself in danger of getting caught for their search so they can hide. Third, his response to “I don’t intend to die” when he asks “will you die with me” is that’s a good answer.

And fourth… a moment I really wanna touch on… Keiji watches something that could easily incriminate Sara. It’s not just some word of mouth thing like with Shin who lied about things several times before this point. But in that moment, he still relies on Sara and says he wouldn’t feel bad betting his life on her. The message is clear. Keiji supports Sara unconditionally.

Now let’s talk about Keiji totally dropping Sara’s ass with the card trades.

The way Keiji makes his trades is very telling. He first, steals a keymaster card from either Sou or Kanna to give to Sara. This is supporting Sara, but it’s doing it in a way that supports his view of himself. That he’s a scumbag who would steal someone’s immunity just to give it to someone he likes more. And would a shithead like that be “worthy” of sacrificing themselves and taking the card for Sara? (And he knew she had it. Qtaro had to tell him for their plan to happen) no. Instead he essentially opts for a revenge plot. A plan to ensnare Shin and kill him for pawning off the sacrifice to Sara. Basically, he wanted to fuck up Shin like how he fucked up Megumi. Nice going Keiji. This is… kind of his low point in the story.

But 3-1….. man this chapter hits in all the right ways. I don’t remember 3A that much, (although I do know that Keiji shows a lot of concern over Sara potentially being triggered by Joe memorabilia) and also if you fail the Keiji Midori fight you can have Sara attempt to tag Keiji and he rejects. And how can we forget… the mr policeman flashback. As Sara says, this is Keiji’s first time opening up on his own.

And then… coffin saga. Sara through everything is not willing to let Keiji die. Although she’s had her ups and downs with him, leaving him to die is inconceivable to her with everything they’ve been through together. So she opts to sign the contract both times she is offered it.

Keiji clearly is somebody important to Sara. Important enough that Ranmaru bringing him up is enough to snap her out of her murderous trance. Enough that she throws logic out the window when she has a sign he’s okay.

Likewise, the scene in the classroom for Keiji is… a huge step. When he’s alone with Ranmaru, who is unstable, in that classroom, his priority is Sara. He turns his back to the threat to hold Sara and try and make sure she’s okay- dumb move, but it shows how far he’s come.

And again, I want to reiterate- Keiji is Sara’s anchor. At the banquet when Sara is about to give up, she imagines Keiji talking to her which brings her back in the game. Much like Joe did back in chapter 2. The message is palpable. Keiji is Sara’s new Joe. And when Keiji comes back to comfort her? He’s now fully willing to sacrifice himself. It winds up not being needed seeing as Qtaro is the one that died. But in that moment, we see Keiji has made a huge leap from chapter 2. He almost sacrificed himself for Gin. And he would’ve used his final moments to comfort Sara. He’s embraced that he’s a father figure. He allows himself to be a good person.

Anyways I don’t know how to conclude this and I’ve been writing for hours. Bababooey.

[anthemxix]

So... how far did Cia go exactly? I haven’t played hw but I’ve read several fics, and she’s always very... extreme.

hi anon! thank you for your ask!

by “extreme,” i’m thinking you mean stories where she’s a psycho who tortures link or forces unwanted sexual advances on him. which makes for fantastic angst! but that characterization of cia has never felt quite authentic to me.

in the game, she has a roomful of his portraits, like a shrine. that’s extreme. she technically starts a war because of him, which is very extreme, but i don’t think that’s about lusting after him, as people often joke. she says some off-putting stuff, and you could infer that she behaves in an inappropriately “seductive” way, but. she doesn’t really. do anything, like fics might imply. she’s creepy and lewd. i’m sure she makes him uncomfortable as hell. but as for what she does, the extremeness in fics is mostly fan extrapolation.

that’s my short answer! but i kinda got carried away while responding to this, and. um. wrote a lengthy character analysis of cia? XD i thought about not including it, but i spent so much time thinking about/writing this that i’ll go ahead and share.

in my opinion, hw does not present a clear picture of cia, and it skews fan interpretation of her.

(putting this under a cut because it got long 😅)

the story the game gives at the start is straightforward. there's a "guardian of time" (whatever that means) who watches over everything but never interferes. she admires the purity of the hero's spirit. she comes to love the heroes, then to want them. she's lonely. she doesn't want to just watch anymore. she wants to experience love.

gradually her desires become something darker. she doesn't only want the companionship, she wants to possess.

ganon sees this darkness in her heart and causes a split. the darkness separates from her, becomes its own person (a la dark link). the "good" part is lana, the "bad" part is cia.

for ganon, this is all part of a larger plan. in hw, his spirit is divided into four fragments that have been sealed away in different eras. he manipulates cia and gets her to open time gates so he can gather all the fragments together. a key fact: one of the fragments has been sealed away by the master sword, so ganon needs a hero to draw the sword.

cia willingly allows herself to be ganon's pawn because in so doing, in starting a war to force the hero to emerge, she thinks she'll get what she wants. throughout the story, she gives more and more of herself to ganon, fracturing her own spirit further and further, because she is so desperate to claim the hero for herself, to own him. lana repeatedly warns her to stop before she does irreparable damage to herself, but she doesn't listen, and ultimately she...well, dies, i guess. fades from existence. (that's how the original hw ending goes. they added stuff on later that changed this.)

ok, so. we have some interesting stuff going on here. arguably, cia is a tragic figure. a victim even. her underlying motivation is loneliness. viewing it through this lens, the story becomes an exploration of what isolation does to a person. how desperate it can make us. how we become willing to sacrifice anything for love--and i mean "love" broadly, not in a romantic sense. how it makes us vulnerable to manipulation and abuse.

let's also not forget the whole reason she focuses on the hero's spirit to begin with. after witnessing all the atrocities of history, she admires the purity and goodness and self-sacrifice of the hero. it has nothing to do with link being attractive. in her temple (the temple of souls), she has statues of different heroes from different eras, including wolf link and oot/mm link. she is certainly not lusting after an animal or a child, i assure you.

so why does she have frickin portraits of hw link, specifically, (not any other hero's spirit incarnations) plastered all over her walls, if not for lusty purposes? why does she dress so damn seductively? i'm not claiming lust isn't part of it, but i think there's more. she wants to feel surrounded by him, you know? she wants to feel like he's looking at her the same way that she looks at him--with desire. it's delusion.

and holy hell, she's nothing if not deluded. some examples of her actual in-game dialogue: "no matter what betrayals I may suffer, at least I know the hero will always love and protect me." and [to herself, as she's losing a fight] "the hero is still by my side... the hero is still by my side..."

and it's sad. she pretends that he loves her, that he will protect her, because she doesn't have any real love in her life. she doesn't have anyone.

and what's even sadder is that she's condemned to all these feelings and delusions because that's who she is. she is corruption and darkness personified! she's doomed to this lonely hell, to being ganon's servant, to self-destruction.

that's how tragedy, and tragic figures, are defined: hubris. characters that have an innate flaw that inevitably leads to their downfall. that's what a traditional tragedy is.

don't get me wrong here. i'm not saying she had no choice, or that she had to start a war. she can be tragic and we can sympathize with her while also accepting the fact that she's corrupted beyond redemption. morality isn't black-and-white. our understanding of characters, or of real people, isn't black-and-white.

...but. BUT. there is a major "but" here. the game sabotages its own character and its own story. the game opts for the path of least resistance. screw grey areas of morality, screw the tragedy of loneliness, screw exploring vulnerability and abuse and hubris... they sensationalize. cia is a joke.

have you seen her frickin outfit? her character design? she's an uber-sexualized caricature. all those portraits of link in her temple can easily be viewed as a joke, too. "lol, look at this crazy, horny bitch." hell, they even have her say innuendos about the master sword, like, “come show me what your sword can do” or something to that effect. 🙄

it's all very surface level. they don't go deep at all with cia. they give us no substance, only these little bread crumbs of information that i've laid out for you. and not only that, they set this up so that it feeds into old stereotypes. the salient details easily allow us to interpret cia, consciously or not, as an embodiment of feminine hysteria, a woman guided by irrational emotion and obsession, fixated on winning the ultimate prize of a man's love.

so koei tecmo's own confused presentation of this character muddles up fan interpretation and has us falling back on the familiar stereotypes we know and understand. that’s the basis for these depictions of cia as extreme. that’s what fans are extrapolating from when they try to imagine how she might act or what she might say. so in the end, she isn’t really depicted with accuracy. she’s like a caricature of a caricature at that point.

…or at least, that’s my opinion. 🥴

[nataliaphantomhivesblog]

In the end of it all, Monaca Towa was still a child.

To start this off, this isn't my usual Black Butler posts but ive been meaning to talk about Danganronpa for a hot minute, so please bear with me! Second, this is solely my opinion and before anyone wants to attack me please read thoroughly first. Thank you:)

(Spoiler warning for Danganronpa: Ultra Despair Girls and Danganronpa 3)

Also, before we dive in I'm going to list some trigger warnings:

Physcological abuse

Physical abuse

Manipulation

P*dophillia

Suicide attempt

Violence (?)

Childhood trauma

Please take care and read at your own risk<3

Hello there Danganronpa fandom! Today I will be talking about Monaca Towa (as stated in the title) and how people often minimize her trauma and sometimes forget the fact that shes still a child who got heavily manipulated by Junko too.

Monaca is seemingly very amiable and caring, because of her charming personality, all of the Warriors of Hope love her and try their best to keep her happy and go along with what she wants. However, it's slowly revealed that she is actually manipulative and cunning behind her friendly facade.

Monoca is a character that is cruel, manipulative, and extremly unhinged. Many of her actions cannot be excused or justified, but you can understand where she's coming from.

Monaca's Backstory:

She was born an unwanted child by both her father and her mother. Monaca's mother was supposed to take care of her but instead abandoned the child soon after her birth. Because of all her actions, Monaca saw her mother as a completely selfish and pathetic person. Monaca's father thought of giving her to an orphanage but instead took her into his family.

However, Monaca was always unwanted and everyone else felt uncomfortable around her. Every time Monaca smiled or joked, the others looked at her coldly, as if she didn't deserve to laugh. Every time she spoke, the others turned silent. His older-half brother thought of her as an alien, not part of the family.

She was also physically abused to the point that she pretended to be seriously wounded for them to stop as a result.

Monaca also attended Hope's Peak Elementary School and was part of the "trouble-makers class" along with Nagisa, Masaru, Jataro, and Kotoko.

Along with her fellow abused classmates, she planned a group suicide; however, Monaca never had any plans to commit suicide in the first place and was planning to let the others die as a prank.

The group suicide was stopped by Junko, who took the kids in and manipulated them by treating them with kindness and love.

Monaca then helped Junko mass produce Monokumas for the Tragedy by using her position as a representative of the Towa Group.

She lied to her father and the other adults in order to produce the Monokumas, telling them that she wanted to create futuristic robots that could be domestic helpers and emergency aid workers.

Due to her separation from the family and her genius, her family decided to give her leg room to do what she wanted as long as she brought in profits to the company, and didn't delve too deeply into her plans.

Things to keep in mind about Monoca's backstory:

She was emotionally and physically abused from a very young age.

She started to pretend to be paraplegic because she was finally treated with some kindness and she could have more control over people.

She convinced Nagisa, Jataro, Kotoko and Masaru to commit suicide.

Out of all the Warriros of Hope, Junko took the most intrest in Monoca due to her position, meaning that she was the one who got used and manipulated the most.

How Monoca's mindset works:

The moment she got physically abused to the point that she had to fake her injuries to make her family feel bad was the moment she learned that through sympathy from others comes power. Due to her families neglection and abuse, she started to quickly pick up on things in which benefited her yet hurt others.

She started to use manipulative tactics on her family to gain control over them. She then started implicating these tactics with the Warriors of Hope.

When Junko got into the picture, everything changed for the worst. Junko was the only person in Monaca's life who showed her affection. Even though deep down Monaca knew Junko only cared for her as a means to use her robotics genius for the Tragedy, Monaca didn't care, and happily helped out Junko with her plans if it meant being loved and appreciated in return. At the heart of it, despite all her horrific acts, that's a very child-like thing to do, right? So when Junko dies, Monaca's entire reason for living basically disappears.

AI Junko via Kurokuma may have planted the idea of a successor in her head, but in Monaca's mind it's a way to get her big sis back, and very specifically chooses to mold Komaru into becoming Junko's successor. That's for a big reason, Monaca doesn't want to become Junko, I'd say she actually just wanted her big sister back who would love and appreciate her again, and hence tried to make someone else take on that role initially. Once again, that's the mindset of a child.

Monaca's relationship with the Warriors of Hope:

The Warriors of Hope are a group of children who are extremely resentful and hateful of adults, regardless of whether or not they were involved in their rough paths. 

We all know that the Warriros of Hope are extememly tramutized kids. Masaru had alcoholic parents who physically abused him, Jataro was physcologically abused to the point he bealived he was so ugly that if anyone saw his "repulsive" face they would die, Kotoko was r*ped multiple times by disgusting p*dophilic men (not to mention, Monaca's brother was attracted to her), and last but not least we have Nagisa who had pressuring parents who wanted to raise him as the child prodigy and expirimented on him constantly.

Monaca used the Warriros of Hope's trauma against them, manipulating them to the point were they had to do her bidding completly.

As much as I hate to say it, Monaca truly saw them as pawns. Although there are some instances where she openly declares her care for the Warriors of Hope, it's likely she does that as a form of emotional manipulation.

If anything, she probably did see them as equal in the beginning but then when she started to gain control over her own family, she started to do the same with the Warriors of Hope as a way to protect herself from getting hurt, then again this is my baseless assumption.

Her dynamic with Nagito:

Monaca was amused by Nagito's strange behavior and contradicting beliefs and appeared to be somewhat annoyed with him at the times. However, the two appeared to at least seemingly respect each other in some way, as they treated each other somewhat formally as allies.

Her dynamic with Nagito is one of the most intresting ones. Obviously I think that her being rasied by Nagito was potentially a dangerous thing, considering Nagito's goal was for Monaca to become Enoshima's successor. Monaca seemed to agree with this goal, but Nagito's constant rambling about hope and despair made Monaca bored and feel embarrassed about the whole thing.

She claims he made her an adult in a way, as she grew up in the mental sense and became more cynical and apathetic, not really caring about anything.

In the end, Monaca found Nagito creepy and annoying, but she also appeared to get closer to him during their time together, while originally calling him just "Mister Servant" in UDG, she later refers to him as "Big Bro" in Danganronpa 3. I do think their dynamic was sort of soft and I would've loved to have seen more of it. Honestly the concept of Nagito being a soft brother to Monaca warms my heart, and the wasted potential will forever anger me.

(If any Danganronpa fanfic writer or any writer in general is reading this post: if u could be so kind and do a PLATONIC Nagito and Monaca prompt and tag me in it, I would love you forever!!)

My opinion on Monaca:

I think that Monaca was a very well-written character who deserved more than what she got in the end of Danganronpa 3. She was abused, mistreated and belittled by her family. If anything, I see her as a completely misguided little girl. If she actually had a positive authoritative influence in her life, she wouldn't have turned astray.

A lot of people disregard Monaca's trauma and forget that at the end of the day, Monaca was a child who the moment she was born, the people who were supposed to love her were unwelcoming.

Don't get me wrong though, there is no way in hell I will ever justify or condone the things Monaca has done. If anything, I just think that she alongside the rest of the Warriors of Hope should've been properly taken care of.

Also, if you dislike/hate Monaca thats 100% valid! She did a lot of inexcusable things and its alright to hate on her. I personally love her character but I know she is not everyones cup of tea.

If you read all the way, I'm actually surprised! Thank you and I hope you enjoyed<333

[chaoticpuff17]

A Dangerous Game

part 3

Masterlist

To say that Y/N was relieved to survive her second encounter with RM was an understatement.  A part of her had been convinced that the Mafioso would kill her. She was after all a potential nuisance to him. But the man didn’t seem to have any interest in her death, at least not yet. If anything, he seemed to find her amusing, and she wasn’t sure which was worse RM wanting her dead or his continued interest in her.

It was at this point that she decided that it was time to tell Eun-Ho what had happened. Perhaps he’d have some insight on what she should do as she was far outside her depth with this. Marcus had been bad yes, but RM was worse. Marcus was a brute, but RM was suave and smart and he unnerved her on a very deep level.

There were different kinds of criminals. There were the low level schmucks, middling grease balls, and then there were the higher ups, the king pins. RM was above them all. He was something she hadn’t encountered before.

“I’m serious, Eun-ho ssi.” She hissed glaring at the officer who seemed so unbothered by everything she had just told him.

“It’s going to be fine.” He assured her sipping at his cup of instant coffee. “It’s a little strange…”

“A little strange?” she shrieked eyes wide. “This is more than a little strange.” She ran a frustrated hand through her hair. “I don’t like this. It’s not normal, and you all promised I would be safe when I came here.”

“You are safe!” the poor young man looked almost affronted by the implication that she was in danger.

“The man knows where I live and has dragged me out of my home twice in the middle of the night.”

“I’m sure it will be okay.” He gave her a smile as though that would pacify her. “Nothing bad is going to happen to you.”

“But it could.”  She insisted. “This isn’t normal. When things like this happened people end up dead.”

“You’re not going to die.” He promised giving his attention to his computer once more. “And if this continues or escalates, we’ll send you home. Look, why don’t you take the day off tomorrow? You can explore Seoul.” He offered.

“Exploring Seoul is going to make this better?” she asked crossing her arms under her chest and leveling him with a look that clearly conveyed her displeasure.

Eun-ho sighed turning back to her. “I don’t know what else to tell you.”

“You could try to do something about it!”

“There’s nothing we can do. We don’t even know his name, Y/N.” he dropped the honorifics really catching her attention. Eun-ho never dropped honorifics. “We don’t know who he is or where he took you. He didn’t hurt you either. We have nothing. Take tomorrow off. Relax. We’ll get him eventually. And it could be good for us that he has an interest in you. You could find new information on him. No one else even knows what he looks like.”

She stared at him unable to believe what she was hearing. Eventually. They’d get him eventually. But in the meantime they would use her as live bait. They were hoping that he would meet her again and all the while she would be looking over her shoulder hoping that he would leave her alone. But there was little hope of that with his parting words. “Until next time”.

She knew full well that he was already planning their next meeting. He was a man who was always ten steps ahead in the game, and she was still trying to figure what game they were playing because he made her feel like it was an entirely new game. He was running circles around her, and she was just trying to keep up.

“Fine. That’s fine.” She huffed standing up and collecting her purse.

“I didn’t mean leave now!” he called out after her as she left the station.

Taking the time away from the station had done nothing to calm her nerves. Though it was nice to have some time to herself and pretend that this was just a vacation even if it was only a lie to make herself feel better if only a little.

It also gave her the opportunity to visit some of Seoul’s street markets. She had always loved open markets ever since she was a little girl and had first been taken to the farmer’s market for the first time. There was something exciting about them. They were always fresh and exciting, and the markets here were all of that and more. It was buys and bustling with the ahjummas selling everything from clothing to sweets even pets were sold within the market.

And it was a lovely day to be out and about. The sun was out and there was a lovely breeze. The weather and the exploring of the market had put her in a good mood. And for the first time in days she wasn’t looking over her shoulder. But perhaps she should have been.

The feeling of an arm wrapping around her waist had her nearly jumping out of her skin. Whirling around and throwing offending arm off she was faced with a sight she would have rather not seen.

“What are you doing here?” she hissed eyes wide as he smirked down at her looking just as perfect as ever though far more casual than either of the previous times she had seen him. This man had no right to look as good as he did. “Don’t you have other things to do than stalk me like I don’t know running your criminal empire?”

His smile widened at that. “I received word from one of my men that you were wandering the city without any of your police friends.”

“And?” she snapped glaring up at him.

“I wouldn’t want for you to get lost. It’s a big city.”

“Really?” she asked quirking a brow. “That’s really the excuse you’re going to go with?” He shrugged looping an arm around her waist once more much to her displeasure. “If you’d like to keep that hand, I suggest that you remove it.” she hissed though her threat only seemed to amuse her companion.

“And how do you think you’re going to do that?”

“With a very big knife thank you very much.” she sniffed shoving his arm from around her waist once more.

“Then I’ll be sure to keep you away from knives.”

Y/N released a growl of frustration. It was both infuriating and incredibly creepy that he was here, and it also told her that there were men watching her, and that he most likely already knew that she had told Eun-ho about their late night rendez vous.

“Let me take you for coffee.” He suggested tucking her hand into the crook of his arm instead of wrapping it around her waist. They both knew it wasn’t really a suggestion though.

“And if I say no?” she asked testing the waters to see just how much trouble she was in as she moved on from the stall she was looking at when he arrived. People were looking, and she preferred to keep this low key or as low key as possible when you were dealing with an international crime lord.

“It would be very rude to refuse a friend’s invitation for coffee especially when I came all this way to see you.” He made a point though. Both of their previous meetings involved her being brought to him. He had never come to her before, and that was almost as intriguing as it was worrying.

“It’s also rude to spy on people.” She reminded him giving him sideways glance as she perused the booths around them.

“I’m not spying on you. I’m simply keeping an eye on you, making sure you’re safe.”

She stopped in her tracks slipping her arm away from him as she did so. “And why would you want to keep me safe?”

“Why shouldn’t I want to keep you safe?” he asked tucking her hand in place once more as he moved them through the market. Just as she was about to push him away once more he tightened his grip and hissed into her ear. “You’ll cause a scene if you keep pushing me away. The ahjummas are already looking.”

She glared at him but allowed the contact. It would do no good to cause a scene here not when she didn’t actually know what he wanted. “I’m here to tear down your criminal empire. If anything you should want me gone. Protecting me seems counter-productive.”

He chuckled looking down at her fondly. “Why would I want you gone? You are far too intriguing to send away so soon.”

“I think we could both sleep better at night if I went home.” She scoffed. “You realize that every time we meet like this is a danger for you? I know what you look like now.”

“Perhaps I have other plans in store for you.”

She stiffened her whole body going rigid. “I don’t like the sound of that, but I do like the look of those earrings.” She pulled away from him and moved toward the stall that held the earrings that held her interest. It was a good excuse to pull away from him even if he trailed behind her as she moved.

“I’m beginning to think you don’t like me, Y/N –ah.” He sighed giving her a look that could almost be described as a pout, but that was impossible. Men like RM did not pout.

“Whatever gave you that idea?” she asked rolling her eyes slightly before giving her attention back to the jewelry missing the way that RM’s jaw tightened at her dismissal. “I know my place in this game. I’m just a pawn.”

“A pawn?”

“Yeah. I go where you tell me and do what I’m told. Isn’t that what pawns do? I’ll play my part, and then they’ll send me home.” She wanted to go home more than anything just about now. Home was peaceful. Home was safe. And as far as she was aware home did not have criminal megalomaniacs popping up everywhere she went.

She wasn’t stupid enough to believe that she was on the same level as RM in this game. She was in a strange country without any real knowledge of the language or any friends. This was his home field, and he had all the advantage, and that was more unnerving than anything.

He paused taking a moment to look her over. “Who decided that you were a pawn?”

“I did. I shouldn’t even really be here.” Just then a thought popped into her head. “By the way, do you have men on the police force?” the look he gave her clearly conveyed the answer and that she should have known it without having to ask. “I mean like people in the department I’m working with.”

“Trying to root out my spies, Y/N?”

“Always, but I really am curious.”

“Why?” he asked looking over the jewelry with her placing a large hand on the small of her back despite the way she flinched under the touch. “Don’t trust your officer Choi?”

She scoffed at that pulling her cardigan slightly tighter around her as she did. “He’s not my officer Choi. Why would he be?”

“You can never be too careful of the company you keep.”

“Says the criminal mastermind.” She murmured sarcastically. “You’re clearly the epitome of good company.”

The air around them grew tense as his smile turned from amused to sharp, a front for his annoyance. “I can be a very good friend to have.”

“I don’t need any more friends.” She sniffed moving away from the stall.

“You can always use more friends in our business.” The smile he gave her was far more threatening than it was comforting.

“And why do I need friends in your business. All of this will be over for me when I go home.” She huffed almost marching towards the exit of the market with RM trailing behind her at a more leisurely pace.

“Is that really what you want?” he asked his tone suspiciously silky.

She stopped and turned to him confused by the question. “Why wouldn’t that be what I want?”

He stepped closer. “Despite all that you did to disentangle yourself from this world, here you are.”

“And with any luck it won’t be for much longer.”

There was no mistaking the way his jaw clenched this time as the atmosphere went from tense to almost dangerous. He took another step closer. “Oh, I know. I received a very interesting call yesterday.” Her eyes were like saucers as she stared at him. “Running away so soon, jagiya?”

part 4

[spicylove4ever]

Analysis and thoughts on Lucifer Season 5B

Since Season 6 is coming, and I want to analise that trailer but I still hadn't said a word about the previous thing, I thought it was time to catch up.

Warning: Controversial opinion. Keep reading at your own risk.

Let's get started.

First things first, the premise on the 5B season was: Michael brought things to a breaking point that lead to God to appear on Earth. The first thing I thought was, wait WHAT? But you didn't move a finger when Uriel died!

But that was something that I already had in mind when the 5B started. And then the chapters went on, and things added, and I was shocked in good ways, but also the bad way in too many things.

There are tons of things that came to mind while watching the whole thing, but I think if I explain them all this will be too long. Let's go to the main points:

1. God.

For a starter, his personality. Ok, I know is basically common knowledge that he went chill after all the Jesus thing, so a calm personality is not a surprise, to be honest.

But this is not the answer we should get after all the build-up we had on all the series. What did we know about how he was all allong the series before he appeared?

He's a manipulative person, for all that treating like pawns his own children thing.... and also everybody. All for his great plan, whatever it is (maybe is just like a Sims-like thing, he wants the bigger picture to be in a way and made all those things for turning the outcome into what he wanted?). Also, than means megalomania.

Lucifer described that when he gets angry, greatly bad things follow, like poking a colossal dragon. We saw that with the mentioned temper of the Old Testament, and the Fall of Lucifer (being expulsed from Heaven and all that), how he imprisioned his wife in FREAKING HELL and Cain's Curse. So, it's stablished that in this series, God has a temper, big time, but it also seemed he went more chill after centuries.

So, what did I expected from that description?

I expected something with the personality in between these two up there and with a hidden temper that goes like when Galadriel does her creepy thing. What I mean, is that both Kyubey from Madoka Magica and Jerry from Soul are inmortal beings and powerful, who care only about the big picture. Jerry has more experience in working with people, and has this chill actitude of caretaker, something that I kind of expected to see in God, and Kyubey in the end, only cares about its goal, and actually gives a shit about people's feelings and does things to them that serve to the purpose and think it's damn fine because by its balls it has to be right, something that I expected to see in God as well.

And did we got instead?

Well.......

Yes, he gave a feeling of being inmortal for all his knowledge and there was this how he doesn't actually gives a pose of authority since he's God and he doesn't have to prove anything to anybody.

But he didn't have any imposing aura, wasn't scary at all, and I still can't get through how he doesn't know how to spot the simptoms of brain freeze and how he got into trouble half of the time. Shouldn't he know better than spill that his son is working for the police when going undercover?

But this is not the answer to all the build-up you gave us, series creators!

And what's with his relationship between Lucifer and his father? That seems odd as well.

Lucifer is supposed to be the son that goes against everything he wants, that has disobeyed him all the time, and insobordinates constantly. I take that he might have a different oppinion of his son now, and that would have been great if they had made the character mention how he has changed his mind over his son and why!

Instead, he just goes like nothing ever happened and expected everyone to go along with it. Also, stalks Lucifer and goes into his life doing the annoying father thing.

What's more, Lucifer had to take care of his father half of the time. And that usually doesn't happen when your parent is inmortal, and even if God made himself a human, where did all his experience go?

By the way, Lucifer's reaction to this is spot on, but spot on with the character that we got in the end. I would have expected that Lucifer was terrifyed about what would his dad doing on Earth, and how could that affect all the people he cares about, but since this God is what we got, Lucifer reacted that way.

And then there is the thing about his retirement. Where did that even come from?

His power has been going crazy? Ok, but that has come only on the recent time. There is no evidence that supports a decision to retire just like that. Make changes? Ok. Retire? WTF.

And not just that, he just leaves to Goddess' universe and makes the kids solve by themselves how would that turn out.

And don't get me started about how a divorced couple made up just like that. Didn't he vanished her and put her into a cell? Why was she so chill?

Which leads to the next point.

2. Amenadiel and why did he not take the throne.

Ok, so Amenadiel wanted to focus into being a father and don't want to leave his life on Earth. That's ok.

But as far as we knew, Lucifer was pretty much the same, right?

Not to mention they still had a problem. A problem called Michael.

He was elegible to be God's sucessor, and if he got that power, he would turn Lucifer's and everyone close to him lifes into a living hell, which could include Amenadiel and his new family easily.

They should had have that in mind, and should have in mind the determintation to avoid it AT ALL COSTS.

So, what to do? If Amenadiel had that much support from the other angels on the very beggining, then he had to take the chance!

They both have grown with Michael, and I thought Amenadiel watched Game of Thrones, so they should have known better than to give him a chance to ruin their lives for eternity.

Yes, Lucifer has traits that make him a good pick for being God, and he does have experience with the reignant profession, but they couldn't afford to lose an election!

3. New angels

First, good call to the part that they answered the question of what happened to the other angels that supported Lucifer back in the day. I really wanted to know where they were. My headcanons where crushed, but hey, at least they gave us a explanation.

I really liked Zadquiel. He might be pretty judmental but he was in the end a great guy when he saw Lucifer's change of heart, and he had more guts than most of the other angels, and honorable. I respect honor.

Remiel's redemption! I first found her scary, given the way she handled how Amenadiel changed and he had a son. But mostly because she showed no remorse to her first plan to kill Linda and then steal the baby. But she had absolutely clear Michael is not to trust, so she backed Lucifer. Respect..... which made very sad her demise... Explain again to me why the other angels show so little response to that.

But I'm kind of upset of how the other angels were to support Michael. Is like they don't know their own lying-brother and how he's not to be trusted. They were really that suspicious of Lucifer, or was it that Michael is that scary? Or are they that susceptible to Michael's lies?

Seriously, wtf...

Appart from that, I think most of what they showed on this season was spot on. Deeply emotional, too.

[kendrixtermina]

Two Crucial translation muckups in the Parlay scene

1. The ‘Highborn’ line (Source)

As ppl have pointed out it’s kind of nonsensical since Edelgard is a princess herself. That would be because it’s a translation mistake. Remember, Dimitri’s line before that is, “...I learned all this from [Byleth] and everyone elses”

Her answer is more like “Those who have that [ie, support, mentors, allies] can’t understand what it’s like not to have it.”

Apparently the error comes from the word used for ‘have’ being similar to the expression ‘haves & have nots’ (in reference to something Dimitri said earlier when he talked about her “trampling the weak”) - so there’s still the implication of “Wait dude you were pretty privileged actually” but not per se tied to status. 

It is true that Dimitri has been a beggar but most beggars don’t have Gilbert & rodrigue chasing after them to give them an army. If he weren’t a prince he’d wind up like the people in Abyss. His life sucked no doubt but as in real life,  privilege doesn’t mean no difficulties, it means more safety nets. 

He was born crown prince and always has been crown prince. He’s the prince in part ‘cause his uncle had no crest. He didn’t have to work for his power through schemes and politics like Claude or plot a coup like Edelgard (who would never have been heir if not for her family being murdered)

In AM he had Byleth, Gilbert and Rodrigue in his corner plus many loyal lords. 

Claude has Judith. Edelgard has Hubert. ...and that’s it for them. 

This is not to say that Dimitri’s life was easy, but it wasn’t hard for lack of support or guidance (but for other reasons)

2. The “dear forgotten friend/I never lost my heart” line (Source)

That always struck me as odd because it seems at odds with... Everything else.

Like you just don’t get the sense that he that level of important to her at any other point. If you don’t get her godess tower event and pick a specific dialoue option, she never even mentions Kid!Dimitri. Silly childhood story at most. 

As for teen!Dimitri she only ever treats him as a rival, act confrontational & seems off-put by his unwarranted friendlyness...

With Claude she’s annoyed at his banter but she respects him as a worthy opponent (at least post-timeskip.) 

With Edelgard expediency always goes before feelings but we know there’s ppl she’d rather have on her side - Petra gets a “plz join our side” letter, she has unique Dialogue with Lysithea, Constance and non-CF Byleth where she laments antagonizing them... 

Dimitri is just not on that list.“Your obsession with me is creepy, you’re deluded” etc... like she understands that he’s just a misguided pawn rather than a bad person, so his death is sad, but she doesn’t like him. Also she doesn’t even consider herself the same person anymore. (though it’s unclear how much that is reality or just her feelings/complexes)

Well... in the original, the second line is simply “my spirit never broke” and the former doesn’t exist at all. Yeah. They adlibbed that. 

[beautifulterriblequeen]

The Thief and the Tinker, Part 3: I See Fire

part 2

Part 3

Viren: Well how do you suggest we get him out?

Claudia: *grins, brandishes marshmallow on toasting fork* Unharmed is just another kind of harmed

Viren: Claudia no

Claudia: Claudia YES

I See Fire

Angst rating: 9/10

Viren is clever enough not to take the Silvergrove on alone, no matter how badly he wants Ethari to make him a magic key. Aaravos could be cooking in that pod for a while longer, but Viren still has a trustworthy and badass ally at his side.

Oh yeah, it's Claudia Time again!

Claudia is a powerful and imaginative dark mage, and she has the tainted Sun staff. So, you're the magefam, and you've made it to Xadia, to the edges of the Moonshadow Forest. And all you need to do to get the power of your dreams is to threaten one soft craftsman. But how do you find one specific Moonshadow elf in a hidden Moonshadow village somewhere in the middle of a giant spooky magical forest?

You burn him out.

Credit once again to@random-fandom-ramble for reminding me of this forest fire headcanon, because it fits so well. and so I don't get all the blame for this one, lol

Because see, that's not ordinary fire. Oh, no. That's dark magic fire. We've seen that before. It leaves permanent scars. Remember Sol Regem's eyes?

That's going to be the landscape when Claudia's fire gets through with the Moonshadow elves' home. Where I live on the US West Coast, they name forest fires, and if they combine, they get called complexes. So maybe we can name this fire the Dark Tragedy Complex? Because I do have to wonder... you could start a dark magic forest fire easily with a tainted Sun staff, but how do you put it out?

Two things are going to happen if these events should unfold. One is angsty. The other is also angsty but then amazing.

Firstly, Viren is going to get what he wants. He'll find Ethari, whose tree burned down :(. He'll show him the coins, and he'll offer a trade. Build what he wants and make it work, and Ethari can have his family back, uncoined and free.

And Ethari will say yes.

He'll say yes no matter what anyone else tries to persuade him to do, and I hope they do try, because see: Ethari has to make it look good. He has to make it look like he's all in on Viren's plan, to Viren. Even if that means turning his back on his people in their time of greatest need.

Secondly, the Moonshadow elves are going to be collectively homeless and bereft, hungry, injured, terrified, angry. They will have nowhere to go. They will be a people without a home. And no one else in Xadia will help them. Maybe they're too terrified to hide Ethari's people in case doing so brings Viren down on them, too. We've seen how ordinary elves flee in terror from dark magic. Maybe they're all fighting other issues, too. Viren knows all about stretching resources too far during times of crisis. Whatever the case, there will be no welcome anywhere in Xadia for the Moonshadow elves of the Moonshadow Forest.

But here's where it gets amazing. Because one hand will reach out. One small hand, from across the border. Good King Ezran will stand up on the seat of his throne and say, "You can stay here. I have forests. You're tired, you're hungry. You need medicine. Let me help."

And I'm gonna cry like a little baby.

How many cycles does this break, how many circles does it complete? Moonshadow elves used to live in Katolis before the border was created. When humans were under threat of total annihilation, the Moonshadow leader's daughter spoke up and asked for mercy. That mercy came in the form of land reassignment, and the Moonshadow elves had to give up their ancestral home, their Nexus, and travel east across the new Border. But that mercy got paired with justice, and the life-loving Moon Druids probably had to swear some kind of blood promise to keep an eye on the humans forevermore, and to kill any individuals who got out of hand, as if their sins were the Moonshadows' responsibility now.

That's got to breed a little resentment, a little superiority. "Look what we sacrificed for you, and this is how you act. Ungrateful." And maybe that was partially Luna Tenebris's goal: to hold to her vision of justice, she had to make the elves who shared her arcanum feel a little resentment. Moonshadows love life, but we can't have them being too soft to keep Xadia safe from dark mages, now, can we? I will never stop cackling over dragon politics okay, never

But the Moonshadow elves never figured on King Ezran. A soft boy who refused to let his father's assassination harden his heart, because every life is genuinely important to him. I've seen headcanons for Ezran getting the Sun, Earth, Ocean, and Stars arcanum. How about Moon, too? Because this is very Ethari of him, and if these stories of Viren's plan and the Moonshadow elves' displacement were actually to happen in tandem, the contrast between Ezran's soft choice and Ethari's hard one would be mindblowing.

Ezran completes the circle by inviting the Moonshadow elves to return to Katolis, to their ancestral home. They left long ago, paying the price for an act of mercy, but they were welcomed back by the mercy of humans, repaid after a thousand years, repaid in the face of tragedy. Tragedy on all sides. Tragedy Ezran wants to stop from happening, by being brave and caring and soft, and by being the first to break this thousand-year cycle between Katolis and the Moonshadow elves.

Rayla is his friend. And these are her people. It won't matter what they've done, only that they need help in a time of great desperation. And of course he'll help them. He's Ezran, and he's Katolis's greatest treasure.

Oh, what's that you say? Inviting the Moonshadow elves to settle in Katolis again would make it easier for Rayla to live with Callum in the future? Oh gosh, how about that? What a deal. *smug matchmaker noises*

And once the Moonshadow elves understand that they're safe and begin to trust Ezran--which could happen very quickly, because saving a Moonshadow elf's life when you didn't need to is a really fast way to prove you're trustworthy--maybe Ezran will be encouraged to take the next step toward peace, and eventually other elves and dragons will come to meet together to talk it over. And Ez will offer them jelly tarts, which they will love.

Back to Ethari, because we're not done with him yet. Ethari is soft, but he isn't weak. He won't be a willing pawn for Viren. He loves Runaan to the point of invention, and his devotion is more constant than the moon itself. He'll agree to do what Viren says, and he'll be Very Sad. But his spirit is in no way broken. Viren bribing him with the coins containing his family will only have the opposite effect. It'll give Ethari something to fight for.

We could get Focused Chaos Ethari. We could get Angery Trickster Ethari. We could get Rules, What Rules? Ethari. Let him try to steal the coins, try to break them, try to kill Viren, and be stymied at every turn, until he settles and seems cowed. And then all he does is craft his way out of the problem. What if we are gifted with Iron Man Ethari, who pretends to build a fake Key for Viren, but meanwhile he's really building a coinbuster with whatever he can get his hands on - primal stones, magically imbued gemstones, stolen artifacts, his own arcanum, his own reputation as the Master Craftsman of the Silvergrove. He'll use almost- almost - anything, to stop Viren and free his family.

Ethari may have to choose between those two things, though. And he's a hero, deep down, just like his family, just like his daughter. If he has to choose, he'll choose to stop Viren and save Xadia. He'll pay the same price as his family has if he must.

He'd let Viren think he was motivated purely by wanting his family back, but Ethari is far too steeped in the illusion and sacrifice for that to be all there is to his motives. It's a so-close-and-yet-so-far thing, how he and Viren almost embody the same ideals. Almost. Ethari would take one look at Viren, who just burnt down his whole Forest, he'd see the biggest threat in Xadia, and he'd say anything to get a chance to stop this juggernaut of destruction from getting his hands on whatever that ultimate power really is, locked behind that missing key. If he has to abandon his people and bawl his eyes out to convince Viren he's in, then he will.

And Viren wouldn't make it easy for him. He knows clever when he sees it. He went through all this trouble to persuade Ethari to work with him. He would need to keep Ethari as off-balance as possible to ensure that he keeps working as he should.

Angsty jewelry, anyone: Viren giving Ethari his husband in pendant form to remind him what he's working for, when Viren and Ethari both know full well that only dark magic can open the hellcoins. Ethari wearing another pendant of his love, except it's not a metaphor this time. It's literally his love, in a coin around his neck.

Viren would know that Ethari would have to stay close to Viren of his own free will if he ever hoped to free Runaan. And making people bind themselves to you is a big power flex. Remember that TDP stream future-season teaser note about Bait being in a creepy restraint in a future season?

This card is written on in all-caps, so that really could be "Bait" or "bait," or--knowing this show--both. Viren's been using Runaan as bait for Ethari all along. Putting his coin in a dark magic pendant casing for Ethari to wear would be a great parallel for that. Oh god. Oh man.

Maybe he'll stab the coin's scary casing right through that circle on Ethari's chest, right over his heart, make that Iron Man reference really obvious. Ethari also losing his shirt at some point, for angsty Viren-related reasons? It's more likely than you think. I mean... Ethari is literally involved in both forms of forging at this point. Shirt's gotta come off for uhhhh work reasons. And because he's hot. Because of all the forging. I mean how else are we finally going to discover what his markings look like

I mentioned that I liked god-tier villains, right? Yeah, this is amazing. I haven't wanted to die and ascend over an idea for quite a while, but Ethari vs Viren in a drawn-out battle of wills would kill me in the best way. Especially since, while it looks like they're essentially fighting for who gets Runaan, they're truly fighting a much larger battle with much higher stakes. They're fighting for the future itself. It's an epic struggle between the Narrative of Strength and the Narrative of Love. And we've seen what happens, over and over, when the Narrative of Strength gets to call the shots.

On a meta note: If Runaan and Ethari's story arc isn't a love letter from one trauma survivor to another, and on a broader scope to all survivors who see it, I don't know what is. Sometimes life just chews us up and spits us out and we can't stop it and it breaks us. But sometimes we can reach out and grasp the chance to help each other, even after that, even when it hurts a lot, because we know what it means to be loved, and to love, and to want a safer future for each other and for people we'll never meet. The future is worth standing together for, helping each other back up for, fighting side by side for, even if you can't see how it'll end, or even how to begin. We are stronger together, and sometimes we need to fight for our "together" before we can fight for anything else. And that's worth it, every time.

This is glorious, it's beautiful, it's tragic, it's amazing, it makes me want to dance, it makes me want to scream into the void, it makes me want to slap someone with a semi truck. No, someone specific, don't worry, and he super deserves it.

Because Ethari is going to win. He was always going to win. He's soft, and he's clever, and he hasn't forgotten what love means. It's what he's fighting for. Not power, not control. Love. He doesn't want to dictate Runaan's future, or anyone else's. He just wants his husband--and everyone else--to have one at all.

So he's going to win.

What beating Viren looks like, I can't guess yet. TDP is no stranger to angst, so there will probably be a high cost involved in thwarting the dark mage. Maybe not everyone can be rescued from the coins. Maybe Ethari will lose his life, or his soul, or his vision, or something else really angsty. Viren could even kill him and resurrect him as a smoky craftsman, or a zombie craftsman, or something equally biddable but horrible. The only thing I'm sure of is that Ethari would never willingly make a working Key of Aaravos Ethari as long as there's a chance Viren could possess it. But I do believe that if he gets the right opportunity while he's busy saving the world from Viren's dark intentions, he'll break his husband's hellcoin open somehow and set him free, even if he has to smile at the devil to do it.

part 4

[cloud9in]

The Half of It

A Mc x Poppy fic inspired by the film 

Summary: Bea, the town’s outcast is recruited by the school jock to win Poppy’s heart. But what happens when she starts falling for her as well?

Author’s Note: So this will be a multiple part series that includes scenes heavily inspired from the movie “The Half of It”. I certainly recommend watching it. My version will have different twists and a different ending, and definitely more angst. It will include mature themes as the story progresses.

Warnings for this chapter: Swearing. This is a good thing for now.

Chapter 1- 

“Love is simply the name for desire and pursuit of the whole.”

                                                   - Plato, The Symposium

It is said that when one half finds its other, there’s an unspoken understanding. A unity. And each would know no greater joy....than this. 

 ...Except this is highschool. And in my opinion, there is no other half. Maybe the other half is a paper on Greek God philosophy due at midnight. But make that four papers, including mine. 

 My name is Bea Hughes and let’s just say...this is not a very happy story. Well maybe some parts are, but you’ll have to read to find out. I come from a small town called Farmsville, and when I mean small, I mean really small. Except the highschool seems fucking huge, with never ending hallways and when you do somehow find the end, there’s usually two inbreds eating each others mouths off. Lucky for me I am the epitome of antisocial, reserved, an introvert, or whatever the inferior beings, aka every other senior, calls me when they think I can’t hear. But I hear everything, including that one time Bradley Denbrough, upcoming hotshot actor, or so he claims, found out about a crush a poor unsuspecting freshman had on him. Everybody knew what Bradley and his goons did to that boy, even the adults, but no charges were pressed. This town is as conservative as it gets, but no one knows of my secret. I carry this school on my back when it comes to having everyone graduate, but that’s all I am to them, a pawn. And that’s all I wanted to be, nothing more and nothing less. I preferred to be in the shadows. 

 ***

 ...Except the mandatory Senior Talent Show forced Bea out of her hibernation hole. The thought haunted her as she sat in the dance studio, the last fucking place she wanted to be. Dance was so not a Bea kinda thing, but the blonde knew exactly why she granted herself the misery of picking the class. Poppy Min Sinclair, the golden girl of Farmsville High, the preacher’s daughter on a more serious note. She is...the most fascinating girl Bea ever laid her eyes on even if her boyfriend was a complete asshole who sermonized his duties as her future husband. Like seriously? Poppy has got to have some screws loose to date such a fake loser who plagiarizes all of his speeches at sunday church, and once literally begged Bea to write an apology letter to his father for him after completely upending their summer cabin. Except the blonde wrote the opposite of an apology, it went something like this…

 Dear beloved donkey, I mean dad,

 I am terribly sorry for inviting 20 hookers to the summer cabin. I have these strange impulses and you should at least be grateful I didn’t invite the big boss as well. His wife came though, in many, many ways. You should get the carpet changed. 

 Sincerely, your STD free son

 It was safe to say that Mr. Denbrough had a near heart attack after reading it, and Bea did kinda feel bad, kinda. He never mentioned the letter to Bradley though, instead silently calling up the owner of Teopoli Catholic Summer Camp and essentially deporting the boy to Canada for the summer. No son of his would end up in hell was what the old man preached everyday from then on. It was the quietest summer Bea had ever experienced. 

 Being the towns outcast, Bea could have her fun when she so chooses to, but that didn’t pay the bills. In fact, the multiple essays that people paid her to write was her way of surviving and taking care of her mother. They weren’t very rich but Bea worked with what she had, helping her mother manage the farm, which included getting on her knees and wrestling the pigs. And that’s how she was gifted the name “pig girl”, stupid Bradley and his fake friends just had to wander too far and catch Bea in the act. She swore a remixed video of her hog calling surfaced the web at one point and that gave the blonde her five minutes of fame. Boy was it an awful time in her life. 

 Bea worked her mother’s previous job as station master or signalman for the trains that passed through, even if it barely paid her shit. The secluded feeling of sitting in that booth and having a moment with her thoughts was enough to give her purpose. Bea was fond of poetry and it usually helped her come up with song lyrics.

 Song lyrics…

 That she would have to sing at the talent show. A huge sigh escaped her lips as she slumped further into the ground, maybe hoping she could bury herself six feet under. It wasn’t that Bea hated singing, no she absolutely loved it. Playing her guitar at night and belting out lyrics that only resulted in her mother banging on the ceiling below in efforts to shut the blonde up. But the mere fact that she’d have to sing in front of the ruthless seniors rubbed her the wrong way. Something would go wrong, it always did. Bea was shaken out of her thoughts when Poppy crossed the center of the room, moving her hips slowly to the sound of Rihanna’s voice. The class chose a slow r&b song to choreograph today and of course all eyes were on Poppy.

 If i’m your girl say my name boy

let me know i'm in control

 Her silky blonde locks swayed as she danced to the beat, hands thrusting sensually along her sides. Bea stared in awe, almost like Poppy was the only one in the room and a spotlight illuminated every movement, every curve. Except she definitely wasn’t the only one picturing Poppy in that way. Carter, the school quarterback leaned against the railing, arms crossed and eyes trailing the rise and fall of her chest. 

 Got me wondering, I’m wondering if i'm on your mind

 Bea sat up straighter but nearly lost her bodily functions when Poppy locked eyes with her before spinning away. It was simple eye contact Bea, don’t let it get to your head. You already have multiple lyrics inspired by Poppy offering the bare minimum in human interaction. She doesn’t actually like you. Poppy is popular and has the perfect life...and boyfriend, even if Bea heavily disagrees. Poppy was a bitch of course, but not a bitch bitch. Unlike the other wannabe mean girls, the blonde didn’t give Bea hell, well that was because the girl paid her zero attention. She seemed distant, off in her own world, or well in her parents world learning the strategies of business. Poppy was expected to follow in her parents footsteps and keep up with her reputation of being the richest in town, and of course a faithful future wife. So fun. But the blonde had other prosperous dreams of travelling and following her passion of music and dance. Highschool was her only outlet and she took advantage of it any chance she’d get. Bea knew this because she would ride her bike every friday night to the school and watch Poppy dance from outside the glass window. Maybe Bea realized it was kinda creepy, but she’s dumb enough to not realize her obvious growing attraction. I mean who pedals miles just to watch someone trip on their feet? 

 ***

 The sound of the bell caught everyone's attention and the teacher slowly lowered the music. Bea watched as Bradley approached Poppy and smothered her with kisses and praises. She rolled her eyes painfully, this kind of PDA definitely wasn’t it, she could have gone her whole life without seeing that. She walked silently through the crowd of kids in the hall, everyone was laughing and talking to their friends. All Bea could allow her mind to focus on was the very intimidating billboard of names a few feet across from her. 

 Winter Talent Show Sign-Ups (Mandatory For Seniors)

 Bea glared at it quietly before signing her name on the sheet, sealing her inevitable fate. Through the hustle of students, Carter watched the blonde with a yearning look from afar. This should be great…

 The next few classes were a blur and Bea eventually found herself getting up to hand Ms. Kingsley her paper. The older woman looked at her with a knowing glance as she took a generous sip of her coffee, which was 75% tequila.

 “6 different interpretations on Plato? Colour me impressed Miss Hughes.” 

 Bea shrugs nonchalant, “yeah well would you rather read their actual essays?”

 “Oh hell no.” Kingsley feigns shock as she looks at the stack of papers with a comical expression. She takes another sip, watching her younger, prodigy of a student carefully. “You know there are places outside of this godforsaken town where you can put your talents to use... Real use. I teach at Belvoire University occasionally.” Ina winks and slides Bea an application, studying her initial reaction. “It’s...in New York.”

“Damn right! The Big Apple.”

 “Kingsley you know I have to stay here. It’ll be easier for me to manage the farm and be close to home”, Bea says confidently even though her body language displays otherwise. She predicted the big sigh filling her ears before it actually happened and it still managed to faze her. “Who ever said you had to do anything? What about what you want to do?” Bea doesn’t make eye contact with Ina, that woman could convince you to do just about anything with a certain look. “No we are not doing this. You can take your reverse psychology and shove it where the sun doesn’t shine. I’m outta here.” The blonde stomps out of the classroom, the sound of Ina’s chuckles still ringing in her ears.

 “Hey! Everyone in this town fears God, but you know what God fears? My ability to hide a bottle of Don Julio in my left boot.” Ina pulls out the newly bought bottle and cradles it. “Come to mama.”

 ***

 Bea rode her bike alongside the dirt road, Kingsley’s words on replay the entire ride. Maybe she did deserve to experience something more than what this town had to offer. But would her mother manage without her? Sacrifices, sacrifices. Bea was used to making those for her mother after her father’s death. What would her dad think of all of this?

 “Hey!”

 He’d surely smack Bea upside the head for the little antics she pulled occasionally. And then he’d buy her vanilla coconut ice cream and ask for every single detail of what happened as they sat and laughed together. That’s the kind of relationship Bea would have had with her father, she liked to assume so. She also liked to assume that she’d get home safely everyday without a scratch, but then there’s Carter.

 “Hey wait up!” 

 The jock seemed to be running ridiculously fast and crashed right into the rear end of Bea’s bicycle, sending her face first into a mount of dirt. The initial impact was enough to boost the blonde straight back up like nothing happened and into a fighting stance, fists out and eyes wild. Very scary Bea. When she realized it was him...well it only pissed her off even more. “What the fuck Carter! You asshole!”

 “I’m sorry Bea! Here let me help-”

 “No! Move away! You- my bike- I…” Bea groans frustratingly, stepping away from the wreck as she tries to catch her breath. Carter watches her sheepishly, rubbing an envelope between his fingers awkwardly. After a few minutes of painfully uneasy silence he speaks up, “Okay...I didn’t want to ask you this way but I was wonder-”

“Oh, so you practically break my ass and now you want me to do you a favour? Real nice way of communication you have there Mr. Quarterback. What is with you and those freakishly large muscles anyways? Maybe it’s my fault I didn’t hear your avalanche built ass coming from behind.”

 “Hey! They are not freakishly large!”

 “I hate to break it to you Jackson but mine are significantly more appealing to look at.” Bea smirks widely, flexing her arm as best as she could. It’s a work in progress… just bare with her.

 It didn’t take much effort for Carter to break out into a smile and look at her fondly. Maybe there was more to this girl than just being a human dictionary. Well that’s what people called her, and he maybe believed it at first.

 Bea noticed the lack of response and shifted awkwardly, clearing her throat. “Listen, its $10 for three pages, $20 for three to ten, I'm not in the over-ten-page biz.”

 “No..no I’m not here to cheat!” Carter blurts out. “But I’ll let you know if I do plan on- anyways. I uh..” He hesitates before handing her the envelope. “What’s this?

 “Well you see it’s a letter..”

 “Yeah but who writes letters these days?”

 “I thought it seemed romantic..”

 “And I thought women writing Jeffrey Dahmer letters in jail seemed romantic”, Bea says sarcastically, her smile dropping instantly after catching a glimpse of Poppy’s name at the top of the paper. It was like the blood stopped flowing through her body for a few seconds as her mouth went dry. This had to be the work of the so-called God everyone praised in this town, or it was one cruel coincidence. Bea wasn’t sure why seeing her name made her heart beat ten times harder, but it also wasn’t a necessarily uncomfortable feeling…

 “I- I can’t help you.”

 “But if you just add a few more words-”

 “I’m not writing a letter to Poppy Min Sincla- to..to some girl for you. Letters are supposed to be authentic, from the heart, your own words, your...feelings.” Bea hurriedly turns to grab her bike, suddenly losing all interest in being social. 

 Carter was afraid this would happen. But he was stubborn. “But I can pay more for authentic!” 

 Too bad Bea was stubborn as well. “Just get a thesaurus...Good luck, Romeo.”

***

 Bea sat in her room, strumming away softly at the strings of her guitar. Some of the keys were off but the old thing still worked, and that was good enough for her. She could hear the tv blasting downstairs, her mother most likely watching the news. There’s something about old people and news, were they secretly ogling the news anchors? Just like Bea ogled Poppy any chance she could. The blonde frowned to herself, her eyebrows crunching together in question. What so hard about writing a letter to Poppy? It’s not like it's coming from her. Well it technically is, but Carter is taking the credit and Bea never had a problem with people taking credit for her words. So why did this very thought prove to be such an inconvenience? Lucky for Bea, her mind drifted elsewhere when she heard a painful snap. Even if it wasn’t physically connected to her body, she felt a horrible ache. Slowly peering down at the guitar in her hand, Bea found that the neck of the guitar had miraculously split almost clean off, a splinter of wood just holding it intact. She wanted to scream but nothing really came out, except air of course. Much to her disapproval, this was definitely a result of her strength. Stupid muscles couldn’t contain themselves at the thought of Carter being with Poppy. Now how could that be? 

 But now she had no guitar. And no guitar means no strings to strum, and no lyrics to sing, and no talent to show at the talent show. Now she was in trouble. Probably because she knew that the only way to get the money to replace the guitar would be through sealing the deal with Carter. Oh fuck it!

 ***

 “One letter. And enough money to buy a new guitar.”

 “Deal!”

 Bea turns away with a sigh, completely ignoring Carter’s high five. Now all she had to do was write this letter, and pray that Poppy wouldn’t completely consume every fiber of her being in the process.

                                 -------------------------------------------

End note: So how we feelin’? Carter and Bea Brotp??

Tags: @samanthadalton @somewillwin @clowneryme @baexpoppy @zigxryanz @uselesslesbianfr @aleiramacaii @thedaft1 @alexlabhont @iamsimpforpoppy

[batboyimagines]

Cold-Blooded [Damian Wayne x Male Reader]

Your Dad and your Ma’s relationship is... rocky to say the least. They were never actually together, no marriage or anything. It was just one night of bad decisions that made you.

So your birth wasn’t well planned. You think the reason your ma even kept you was because she was lonely. She’s raised you to the best her ability for they past fourteen years but it was only recently your dad found out. Now they have joint custody.

See, all of that isn’t normal per say, but it’s not bizarre or anything. Just two inexperienced, lonely people screwing up in more ways than one to make a whole nother screw up. However, your parents aren’t exactly average. One’s not even human. Anymore.

Medusa and John Constantine. By the gods, that’s probably the worst match imaginable. Moms great and all, you really do love her, but she’s a little crazy. Being exiled on an island all alone does that to you. And Constantine’s just... a mess. Not even a hot one.

Even so, you don’t mind being pawned between the two. They’re both great in their own ways and you appreciate the both of them. Right now you’re hanging out at your dad's house. Though it feels more like hanging out with an awkward uncle than a dad.

It’s nearing about 8:00 in the morning, not that you know that. You’re asleep on the couch, gazing blankly at the ceiling. You forgot to close your eyes while you sleep again. It’s sort of creepy.

A sudden pounding on the door startles you up, breaking the staring contest you were having with the ceiling. A contest which you totally won. You blink dazedly and the pounding starts up again.

Mournfully slipping out from under the soft, warm stack of blankets you slept under, you lumber towards the door. You squint through the peephole.

Through the peephole you see a warped view of six costumes lunatics of all sizes. You lean back from the door and let yourself have a begrudged yawn. Gods, it’s way too early for this. Dad’s still asleep even with all the racket.

The littlest lunatic in the hood pounds the door hard enough for it to shake in its frame and you decide you’ve had enough. You don’t bother with the chain latch and just open the door a crack.

“Do you know how early it is?” You groan. The little lunatic, who is actually around the same height as you, scoffs.

“It’s eight pm. A normal person would be awake and ready for the day by now.”

“Well, I don’t know how you people are up then because anyone who dresses like that isn’t normal.” The green guy snorts.

“Listen, we’re sorry to wake you, but is this the residency of John Constantine?” The guy in the black leotard asks.

“... no, why?” You ask suspiciously.

“We are the Teen Titans and we are in need of magical assistance.” The really tall, really exposed, redhead says. “We require his assistance, on behalf of the justice league.” You tense a bit at that.

Okay, you don’t hold the things that the gods did to your mom against those two members of the justice league, Aquaman and Wonder Woman. They seem like nice folks who really do want to do good and not for the selfish, vain reasons gods usually do, but…

They got their abilities from the same gods who really, really messed your mom up for no good reason. So call you petty, but you don’t want to associate with them.

“Sorry, he’s not here.” You say attempting to close the door on them. The hooded lunatic jams the door with his hand.

“This is a matter of utmost importance, you will take us to Constantine.” He demands. You scowl at him and try to shut the door on his fingers.

“Screw off weirdo, he’s not here!”

“He is, you are lying!”

“Am not!”

“Are too!”

“Am NOT!”

“Are TOO!”

“Christ on a cracker, what the bloody hell is going on?!” Your dad shouts, slamming the door shut, fully unlocking it and swinging it back open. Looks like the racket finally got him up. He sags at the sight of the troupe of crazies. “The hell do you people want?”

“We need your help.” Leotard man says.

“Of course you do. With what, I mean?”

“My father, Trigon, has possessed the justice league and we need a way to stop him.” The girl in purple replies. Your dad tenses.

“Trigon, eh? Sounds like a piece of work.” He says. You pretend to cough.

“Says the piece of work.” You tease under your breath because what’s even the point of a dad if you can’t make jabs at his life choices? He gives you a look and you just grin up at him.

“Why should I help you? The kind of magic that I’d have to use against that guy is expensive and tricky. I’m not gonna do it outta’ the good of my heart.”

“Because if you don’t help us, he could destroy the world.” Leotard says.

“Of course he could.” Dad breathes out as he sags against the door frame. You pat his arm. He looks at you and you give him an awkward smile. It seems to help him to a decision. He straightens up. “Well, I guess I don’t want the world to end. I need somewhere for this one to grow up.” He pats your head affectionately.

“Thanks.” You say, a bit embarrassed. Half because that’s the sappiest thing he’s ever said to you and half because, well, it’s nice to know you mean something to him. Even if he didn’t know that you existed until a few months ago.

“Well, come on in then.” He says turning from the doorway and into the apartment. The troupe of crazy people that nearly just broke into your house follow. You flounder for a moment.

“Wait, seriously? We’re just gonna let some random strangers, who nearly just broke in our house, inside just like that?” Your dad looks a bit guiltily at you. 

“Sorry bud, but this happens a lot more than I’d like.” He raises his hand hesitantly and gently lays it on your shoulder. “You can go back to your mother while I deal with this, if you’d like.”

“No, no it’s okay,” You quickly reassure, “it’s not bad it’s just… kinda weird. You know it’s weird right?” He snorts.

“Of course I do, but to be honest it’s almost normal for my line of work.”

“You should get into a different line of work then.”

“You know, I probably should.” 

Leotard man clears his throat- you know what? You want to know their names before they commandeer any more of your father-son bonding time. “By the way, what are your names? I feel I should know them before we do anything else.”

“Oh! My apologies,” Redhead replies, “I am Koriand’r, of Tamaran. And this is Blue Beetle, Beast boy, Raven, Nightwing, and Robin. We are the Teen Titans.”

“No offense, but you look more young adult than teenager?” She smiles sheepishly.

“Well, I was part of the original titans. I am now the leader.”

“Oh, okay, makes sense.”

“Alright,” your dad cuts in, “so what’s your plan for Trigon? What exactly do you want from me?” He and the Teen Titans begin to plan. You stick around for a bit, to get an idea of what your dad does. It’s not very interesting. So ten minutes into planning, you slip away to make breakfast.

Now, your dad is a mess. Not kind of a mess, a straight up mess. The kitchen is almost a reflection of your father. It’s a huge mess. There’s takeout boxes and dirty dishes strewn across every counter, no room for literally anything there is so much garbage. And this is only a few weeks worth of build up. Dad actually cleaned up before you arrived. 

Before you can even begin cooking you have to clean off the counters for some space. You’re trying to balance takeout boxes on top of the overflowing garbage can when a voice sounds from the doorway.

“This place is repulsive.” 

“HUAUGH FUCK!” You whip around flinging the takeout boxes across the room. Hooded lunatic, uh Robin you think, dodges them expertly. He seems a little surprised. You clutch at your chest, “Jesus, Christ man!”

“Apologies, I… did not mean to startle you.” He raises his hands a bit, as if calming a rapid animal. 

“Apology accepted.” You calm your rapid heart. Your freak out seems to have spooked any animosity Robin had earlier. The two of you stand around awkwardly. He’s a stranger in your house and he’s in a strangers house, which does not make for easy conversational partners. He looks around, avoiding your gaze. His eye catches on a painting on the wall.

“That is… an interesting picture.” He tries.

“Uh yeah, that’s actually a picture of my mom.” You say, playing with your hands.

“That is Medusa.”

“Yeah, she’s my mom.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“I see.”

“She doesn’t actually look like that, that painting’s really inaccurate.”

“Why does your father keep it up?”

“I dunno,” You’d feel weird cooking with him watching you, so you make your way past Robin and into the dining room, “I think either pettiness or affection.”

“Pettiness?” He asks following you.

“Yeah, I mean, they aren’t together? I think they were at least acquaintances before they, uh, ‘conceived’ me. But they don’t seem to like each other very much nowadays.” You say, pulling a chair out from the table. You push the one across from you out with your bare foot and gesture towards it. Robin hesitates a moment, but decides to sit down. “What about your parents? They like each other any more than mine do?”

“No,” He snorts, “I think they like each other much less.”

“Oh.”

The conversation stalls. You shift uncomfortably. Robin stares a hole into the grimy table. 

“Why not?”

“Pardon?”

“Why don’t your parents like each other?” He seems to think over his answer. 

“They are on opposite sides of the law.” 

“Oh, that’s tough.”

“Yes.”

“There’s tons of couples on opposite sides of the law though.” 

“Not them. My father’s moral code cannot bend to suit my mother.”

“Ah, I see.” You lean across the table and pat his arm. He looks at it a bit suspiciously, you pull it back. “I’m sorry about your parents.”

“No need to apologize, I’ve already come to terms with it.”

“Yeah, well, still sucks.” You say standing up. “I was gonna make food, wanna lend me a hand? I’m still new to cooking appliances. And electricity.”

“How are these things new to you?” He asks, even as he stands up to help anyway.

“Dude. I grew up on an island with no electricity or WiFi. All of this,” you gesture to the space around you, “is totally alien to me.”

“Ah, I see. Yes, I will assist you.”

“Thanks.”

He failed to mention that he has never used a toaster either. You both nearly burn down the apartment, had it not been your dad’s fire extinguisher.

TO BE CONTINUED