#I may get quirky even and make him...pathetic

[misssakuramochi]

NOT QUITE REQUITED

In which the reader confesses to Alastor, not quite knowing what to expect

Fandom; Hazbin Hotel

Genre; Fluff (I guess)

Characters; Alastor, Reader

Pairing; One sided!ReaderxAlastor

a/n; I did my best on aroace!Alastor, but please feel free to give me any feedback you may have on writing an aroace person more accurately ❤️

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Demonic ears perked, twitching ever so slightly as they picked up on the sound of soft footsteps coming their way. Each step was careful, near silent, as the demon behind them tried oh so desperately not to interrupt.

Normally this would alarm Alastor - he didn't become the ever famed (or perhaps innfamous) radio demon without pushing a few buttons. But, between the sound of the footsteps and the soft whispering that became apparent as it got closer, it wasn't difficult for Alastor to figure out just who was sneaking up behind him.

"Hello there, my dear." Head turning fully a moment before the rest of his body swung to match, Alastor met your surprised expression with his usual ear-to-ear grin. It made you jump, just a little, and yet you couldn't help but find the uncanny nature of the demon before you charming.

"Hi! Um, that is to say good evening. I was hoping you might have a quick moment to chat?" Alastor fed on the anxiety in your voice. It was pathetic in a way he found delictibly adorable, in his own way. Meek as you had begun, this was perhaps the boldest you'd been in your 5 attempts to tell the overlord of your feelings. At least, it was until you opened your mouth again.

"Unless you're busy! Of course that's fine, if you're busy I can come back later--" Alastor's smile twitched upwards, shifting for a moment from friendly to uncanny valley as he resisted the urge to chuckle. It was amusing, really, how shy you were-- how you thought for even a moment that he hadn't long since seen through you and your intentions.

"Too busy? For you?" The way you stopped dead, already pink, made Alastor want to eat you right up, "Never! Come now, tell me what it is you need." Speaking as if he didnt already know, Alastor's arm wrapped around your shoulder. He could feel you turn to lead under even the simplest of his touches, and he allowed himself to relish in the feeling of power for just a moment.

Leading you with a little more difficulty than anticipated towards the office he'd taken use of while in the hotel, you moved stiffly.

You found yourself almost unable to breathe this close to Alastor. About to confess in a way that you had imagined a thousand times, each another way it could go spectacularly wrong, your heart had fallen into your stomach. It sat like a lump, making you nauseous.

You'd tried this already, more times than yoy cared to count. Each time you'd found a reason not to confess. Each time, you'd scolded yourself for your cowardice. You couldn't let yourself down like that again.

"Now," you'd arrived at the office before you knew it, Alastor quickly ushering you onto one of the stools adjacent his desk before finding his place at the almost regal chair behind the desk, "What was it thay you needed from me?"

The way his voice lowered, eyes narrowed, made the lump in your throat almost impossible to speak around. He was trying to read you, discern out your real intentions. You knew him well enough to know when those eyes eyes were calculating.

It was strange to say the least that you had seemingly fallen so innocently for him. At least, Alastor thought so. After all, you, loathe as he was to admit it, knew him better than most. But, he supposed that strange as people often saw him as, you were... well, rather quirky yourself. That, and Alastor knew you - being able to read you like  a book was one of the reasons he'd let you get so close.

Ego and caution battled in Alastors brain as he half-listened to you ramble on, thanking him for his time as you tried to work up the nerve to say what you really meant.

"What I mean to say is... I kind of... well, really like you Alastor." There it was. Part of Alastor was relieved-- after all, on the one hand, he had been waiting nearly a month now for you to finally make your confession plainly rather than dancing around him like a sore subject. The other part, however, couldn't help but tense: because on the other hand, he had been dreading this encounter in equal measure to his expectation of it.

It wasn't that Alastor didn't like you, exactly - at least, in his own way. But love... well, even if he particularly wanted to he couldn't love you quite the way you would him. Or course, there was no way you could know this - personal facts were something Alastor kept close to his chest.

The way Alastor chucked, deep and less malicious than usual, set butterflies in your stomach. Their dance made you feel all the sicker, heart racing in an anticipatory fluster as clawed hands ruffled your hair.

"I am the beloved radio demon after all." Alastor could tell he hadn't quite nailed that landing when he felt you cringe at his words. Undeterred, his smile remained unchanged as he took back his hand and clasped it together with the other behind his back.

"So? What is it you're looking for then my dear?" The way Alastor sat across from you, leaning back and letting his hands rest into a steepled position made you feel like you were in a business deal.

"Um, I guess..." It was a question you didn't really know how to answer. What did you want out of this interaction? Of course, in your wildest fantasies you knew what you wanted -- to form a relationship. But this was Alastor, enigma extraordinaire. You had no idea how the man truly felt about anything let alone the idea of being in a romantic partnership. You could dream, perhaps, of a future by the demons side, but what did you realistically expect?

"I guess I just wanted to tell you. I've been thinking about it a lot, and I thought you deserved to know." Alastor blinked slowly, oke eye before the other. You'd done something extrodinsrially rare in this moment - you'd surprised him.

Unused to genuine connection, to kindness, especially whilst literally in hell with the actual worst of people, Alastor hadn't expected your reasoning to be so... selfless. Or benign. It was strange, and yet he couldn't help but feel his smile tug upwards, just a little. It was... amusing. It reminded him why he'd helped you find your way to the hotel in the first place.

"Well then thank you for telling me!" It would be a lie to say the lack of response didn't stirr a pot of disappointment in your gut. But, the way Alastor smiled at you, judgement free and unchanged, made you smile, "Now was there anything else?"

You couldn't help but laugh at how casual Alastor sounded, as if you hadn't just taken perhaps the biggest risk in your afterlife. Even as he tilted his head, not quite understanding your joviality, you simply smiled.

"Never change, Alastor."

[unreone]

Art Fight 2024

STARDUST Agent UNR30N3, Reporting for Duty

FIRST WEEK:

Blueprint Preparations — Sketch out the concepts for charas; came up with ideas; choose which wip to commit or scrap for next year

Wait and Prowl — Assess both sea dwellers and friendly lasers that targets the crew of mah ship

Massive Chara Inclusion Selection — Scout for active agents to choose for the mass attack

CAUTION!!!

Some of the arts below the cut contains cartoon gore and elements that might disturb you.

You may proceed with this knowledge.

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Attacks Receivedth:

SNIPPY!!

By OCandada

Remark: Awwww heccc yeeez, first attacc of the yearrrr!!! My scissor rat boii looks so adorb and meek here, almost harmless! (just the way he would like you to believe hue hueee) It's frimkin cute to see him like this, I ain't even threathened by his scissor blade bwuhagagsbs. Thanks a bunch for this mate!!!!

The Happy Hills Killers

By ZillyCat

Remarks: Looks like Amora did not head to the right direction after all hyuackc huyckyc ycuuhxk (ill see myself out-) THIS IS FRIMKIN NEAT!!!! Just gurlzzzz slayinnn like they mean it. Literally. They slayed. Many corpses went unfound. The way that Sparkly is smiling, unfazed and that Mori is so proud of herself really makes this! OML this is a delight, I ain't even mad. Ames definitely snoop to close to get there ahaifhxjkx-

Buzzsaw

By Vilke

Remarks:

BRUV- WHAT-

THIS IS AWESUUUUUUMMMMMM!!!!!!!

Fricking crayon stuffed in breadsticks, this is not just eye candy. It's the whole confectionery!!!! It's soo cool to see Sketchy despite literally being halved. The clutter of sketches around them is fun to zoom into. This cursed oracle is beyond the concept of pain and suffering, look at death straight in the eyes and smiled wide. Sure, the pain not really getting to them is a lie, but it ain't gonna bring their jive down!

This is really well-done, thanks a bunch for making this one!

Run Like Your Existence Depended on It

By @zeddye

Remarks: THE MOST PATHETIC CRITTER KNOWN TO MANNNNNNN RUNNING YET ONCE MOREEEEE. When will this damn badger ever learn that Resustance IS fuccimg futile omlll. I adore the action lines for the bg, there even seems to be a skull formation right behind Dodger. It's soooooo funni he thinks he really can escape outta this one alive bwhshsvs. Great frimkin job as always mate!

BIG ART

By OCandada

Remarks: AYYYYYYYYYY, this is neaaaat!!!! A bunch of coolio quirky misfits altogether. This makes me smile so frimkin damn much!

Cheeky Rodent

By Cosmo

Remarks: Ayyyyy snipper snoppers!!!!!!! In Cosmo's artstyle!!!!!! What a glorious time to be alive!!!! Such attitude, this is definitely the face he makes when you say what kind of cut you wanna have at his barber shop. Is internally passing judgement? What does he mean when he said that is a choice you'd obviously made??? How can one infer from his monotonous tone his true intentions? Ahh all that will never be answered. He got that smayl tho

ㅤᵕ̈

snip snip

By @pierrotlunaire08

Remarks: YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! This is (onfg MY COMPULSIONS DEMAND i MUST SAY IT-) bloody awesum! The way you render fur and blood here is cuttingly good. I guess, Snippy wants to stay sharp else he'd be on edge. The shading really seams everything together-

Seriously tho, this is fricking great and I'm still put in shear awe whenever I re-realize that I received this bit.

Rufforth Attack

By @shoups32

Remarks: PURE FRICKING DELIGHTFUL- It's really cool how ye made Rufforth here exude gentleness and sweetness, leaning to a friendly air. This tol puppet doggo may be a bit broken but still approachable as everrrr oml!

Dodger the Badger

By Daaniell3

Remarks: YOOOOOO WE GOT DODGER IN DANIEL'S ASSET ARRANGEMENT ARTSTYLE BEFORE GTA V LEZGOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! It tickles my eye sockets to see funky ear tuffs AND tail variant for him here. Adding to that is his silly frightful expressions. Oh to imagine him being put in situations. Def for the sake of plot and character evolution and not my entertainment. WbUha.

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That concludes my report! I'll keep y'all posted for future updates.

[bluewavesofchange]

The guardians of the Pharaoh

The return of the Seal

I don't own Yugioh or it's characters

This chapter is graphic and filled with gore. Warning for mature content.

This chapter is really long so I'm splitting it into to parts.

Chapter 4 part 1

 

Rozu was having a rather informative time since the mess up that was the pyramid of light…she would’ve been able to do so much more damage to the brat, she would’ve loved to take an eye, an ear or added a nice scar over his face…but then little Yugi would have to carry the injuries. And honestly she was unsure how she felt about harming the child her sister gave her life for.

 

She had to admit it made her feel uncomfortable whenever she saw the boy’s innocent face that held the same eyes Clarity once had. She wasn’t always found of the angelic girl but she had a quirkiness that the queen of darkness found…admirable. Her positivity, her willingness to see the best in other (even if it was naive at times), the way she wanted to build a relationship with her and try and comfort her at times. They may not have been a conventional set of siblings but they were still family…she had even tried to save Clarity’s adoptive fathers despite the jealousy she felt.

 

Why did everyone have a better life than what she had? The moments of happiness she had had were few but cherished them…her Terra that she had lost…the brief moment she held her boys in her arms…the satisfaction from killer her father…even her time with Atem. They had had some good moments together, the times when he would find comfort in her presence when he was alone…even after Heba arrived they still spent time together, she remembered an evening when she had taught him to summon his first monster from the shadows…the little puff ball bounced around the prince, annoying Atem as it kept trying to cuddle him. They had spent nights talking and messing around with magic. Even when he had grown infatuated with little Heba and pulled away from her, she remained close by his as much as it hurt to be thrown away…and she would’ve been fine with staying in the shadows if it hadn’t been for the 5000 years of torture and pain…her sanity getting ripped to shreds while he remained in isolated bliss.

 

She would make him pay…she would take away everything he held dear, make him know what real loss was…just like she did. Then his darkness would flow into the world once again, consuming souls and destroying lives…he would turn this world into a wasteland and she would leave him here to endure his greatest fear and pain…loneliness…

 

She would take the siren and little Yugi back home where they belonged…she would make the goddess of the sea bring back the dragons so she could harness their power so she could bring her children back from the dead…to give them the life they should’ve lived…and then she would abandon that world…take her sons somewhere safe to grow up…just the 3 of them…away from any pain or suffering…

 

But that would need to wait as an old evil has made itself known once again. Lillian may have thought the queen of darkness was gone but she remained at the girl’s side as her shadow…watching her every move…

 

She wouldn’t admit that she had some concerns when the siren had fallen ill…she had watched her lover boy taking care of her…the love and connection they shared brought a feeling of jealousy and anger in Rozu…she not only had snagged two loves in both her life time’s while Rozu had only had her Terra for a short time before he was torn from her life in the curliest way…and to make matters worse was the fish was carrying her beloveds offspring. How unfair was that?

 

The red head had to wander what the others mate would think when they eventually reunited and he discovered that his love had betrayed him and laid with another man…a pathetic human no less.

 

What had intrigued Rozu was the run in with the girl’s supposed father…the red head knew better though…she could see through the façade and knew who it was…the man that she had escaped her grasp when she forced her way into his palace when she and the others had fought against his army and the great leviathan…it was Dartz. She had seen him for a brief moment when she was fighting off his corrupted monsters when she made her way into the city of Atlantis…he stood on his balcony as he watched his minions fight and laid down their lives for him and his kingdom...he should’ve been on the front lines like a real leader, fought for what he wanted like a true warrior and not just source it out to filth and the weak.

 

Rozu had fought beside her army, the siren fought beside her sea warriors and even Clarity had fought alongside her sky beasts. Heck when the thief king had tried to burn down Egypt Atem had faced him head on. A true leader fights with their people, leading them to victory and even laying down your lives for them…but Dartz was nothing but a coward and Rozu would enjoy devouring him and his soul…

 

What she was not expecting was the Seal that the 3 goddesses had created being used in a duel between some random robed man and the pharaoh…how intriguing…she needed to learn more…perhaps she could use this to her advantage…slowly she took over Lillian’s body, pushing the girls consciousness to the back of her mind.

 

 

Yami and Yugi were not having a good day. The spirit wanted to learn more about his past, possibly find out how the demon that had attacked him was involved in his life and why she despised him so much…and if there was a way to get rid of her. The other reason was the version of Yugi he had seen in visions from his past. From what he saw they were close, possible as close as they were now…maybe even closer. And was Yugi a re-incarnation of his past self or was there more to it?

 

There were the unexplained powers his Aibou possessed; did they have something do with his past? They really hadn’t talked about any of it, seemingly avoiding it for the most part. There was no explanation for it. When the two of them had been to the museum and learned of the tablets that depicted himself as pharaoh, Ishizu never mentioned anything about a partner or anything that resembled Yugi. But then again all of this took place nearly 5000 years ago so it was understandable if information got lost throughout the years (as annoying as it was). There was only one person that possibly held all the answers and she was out to get him…

 

The duo had gone to the museum with the Egyptian god cards to try and do something with the tablet but the giant stone had frozen over somehow and sent a strange wave of energy through him before numerous monsters appeared throughout the city…around the world in fact. Yami had let out a loud groan of frustration, great, another world threatening event.

 

The two of them had gone back to the game shop with their friends who had been with them throughout the entire encounter, the group watching the news and seeing a report on the monsters that were attacking the world and the strange lights in the sky…apparently they put the blame on Kaiba and his company for all this…Yami had to admit it was entertaining watching the CEO grow frustrated at the reporters berating him and bombarding him with questions. It looked like he was about to explode when a wall of ice separated him from the news crews.

 

Yami heard his partner saying it was most likely Lillian, the spirit sensing the heartache his little one was feeling. The siblings had spoken in recent days but only over the telephone which was safer than seeing each other in person since the demon was possessing Lillian.

 

Before the group could discuss any theories on what was going on, when they heard grandpa calling for help from downstairs, the teens running down to see what was going on, only to discover that 3 bikers had stolen the Egyptian god cards and challenged the pharaoh to a duel to get them back…how original.

 

 The teens headed up to the top of an uncompleted building to challenge another stranger with a strange looking duel disk…the man playing a card called the Seal of Oricalcos that trapped both duellists in a glowing dome, the seal covering the field, the man explaining that whoever lost the duel would lose their soul. Yami didn’t like where this was going and tried to use the ambiguous powers of the Millennium puzzle to put an end to the duel but that didn’t seem to work for some reason…the heck?!

 

And to make matters worse the last person he wanted to see showed up…

 

The area filled with shadows as a wicked laugh echoes through the air, Joey, Tristian and Téa are surrounded by tendrils, their arms and legs getting wrapped in the shadows, Yami eyes widening as he sees Lillian walking over to the green dome, her hair turning red, her tattoos changing and her eyes becoming golden, her lips forming a sinister smile, “Well hello again my boy.” Yami snarled as Yugi appeared beside him, watching as his sister is taken over by the spirit that had hurt his…well Yugi wasn’t entirely sure yet what to call the relationship he and Yami had.

 

The other man in the dome frowns as he watches what was going on around them, “Who are you? We are in the middle of something.” Rozu ignores him as she hums as runs her stained fingers over the green energy, “I have to say this is impressive. You’ve manged to harness the seals energy to create a spell to gather souls.” Her eyes moved up to the 3 bikers standing a good distance away before retuning her sights on Yami’s opponent, “Your master has been busy.” She continues to examine the seal.

 

Yami is on the defensive, “What are you doing here?” the goddess snickers, “Wouldn’t you like to know?” she stops walking and stares the pharaoh down, “If you must know I am here to rescue you.”

 

“Ha I didn’t know you had a sense of humour.”

 

Rozu smirked, “You don’t know anything about me pharaoh...just like you don’t know anything about who you are or even who your little Yugi used to be…or should I rather say…Heba.”

 

Yami tensed up at hearing that name, his eyes widening as his mind flashes to the Egyptian version of Yugi he kept seeing…the pale beauty dressed in the finest white silks and golden jewellery…his amethyst eyes sparkling like gems…his soft sweet smile adorning his rounded face…he sees images of the two of them…walking through the halls of a large palace…sitting in the library while they go through texts…having meals together and telling stories…spending evenings together in a bed chamber practicing magic and making each other laugh, the sound of his Aibou’s voice was like the sweetest honey and freshest flowers…his face radiating with light and beauty…a warm feeling radiates through Yami’s heart…a dull ache quickly replacing it as the visions change…his little angel’s lifeless body lying strewn across the ground, blood seeping from the deep lashing on his back and from his mouth…

 

The spirit could feel something bubbling up inside of him as he couldn’t take his eyes of the scene in front of him, his breath growing quicker as the shadows started to swirl around his feet, traveling up his body as a glowing eye appeared on his forehead as he clenched his teeth, his fingers curling into a fist…glowing yellow symbols forming on his skin that was slowly turning black…

 

As a snarl leaves his lips he feels a gently touch on his arm, distracting him from his torment as he looked down and saw Yugi’s big beautiful eyes gazing up at him with concern and sorrow and he felt the torment he had been feeling melts away…reaching out and gently stroking the shorter teens cheek, a wave of calm washing over him...however it is quickly erased by a deep laugh…

 

The scene fades away as Yami is once again face to face with the red headed woman again, a smug smirk on her face, “Did I strike a nerve your majesty?” she laughs wickedly as Yami growls, the shadows at his feet writhing in response to his anger. Rozu notices this and her smirk falls for a moment. She knew the brat could create shadow games but his control of the darkness had been non-existent since he awoke after the puzzle was completed…Rozu’s eyebrow twitched slightly before regaining her composure and was supposed to taunt him more before the robed man interrupts her, “Look we don’t have all night. Could we get back to our duel so I can deliver the pharaoh’s soul to master Dartz.”

 

Rozu frowned before a thought comes to mind, grinning as she swirls her hand, the shadows around Yami’s feet starting to move, “Unfortunately his soul is mine…” she snaps her fingers, the shadows swallowing Yami into the darkness before spitting him out again into the mass of tendrils that had the other teens trapped. The pharaoh tries to get up and go at Rozu but the goddess twirls her fingers and the shadows capture the pharaoh as well. He snarls and is about to yell at her to release him but a tendril wraps around his mouth to silence him while another removes his puzzle from his neck and presents it to its mistress.

 

She carefully takes it, running her fingers over the golden object, “I believe your little lovers soul is within this stupid thing.” Yami struggles against the shadows, trying to get free as he panics, feeling dread at the thought of Yugi’s soul being in the hands of this witch. Rozu hands the puzzle back to a shadow and the things moves to the edge of the roof, holding it over the side, the red heads gaze returning to Yami as she walks over to him, grabbing hold of his chin, her sharp claws cutting into his skin, “If you behave, I will return your little angel to you…trying anything funny and..” she forces his head to look at the puzzle as the shadow swings it around, “…I do wonder if his soul will survive being shattered when it falls from this high.”

 

Yami breathed heavily as he was panicking more as the red head lets go of him. Beside him Joey snarls and squirms against the tendrils, “Let us go and fight fair! I could take ya!” Rozu rolled her eyes and snapped her fingers, summoning another tendril to stuff itself into Joey’s mouth, muffling his shouts of rage. She glares at the other teens, “Anyone else?” Téa and Tristian shake their heads, “Good. Now…”

 

She sinks into the darkness and reappears with in the dome, her attention on the robed man, “…I have something better to offer you than the brat’s soul…” the man raises a brow, “What could be better that his soul? Our master demands it for the great beast!” Rozu licks her lips with her forked tongue, “How about the soul of the creature that took down the leviathan?” This got Raphael’s attention, “Explain yourself witch!” he calls out, his eyes narrowing. He had been watching this woman since she arrived. Her powers were…intriguing.

 

“Well…I have the soul your master is looking for…the very siren that sent the beastie to the bottom of the sea…” she explains but could see that Raphael wasn’t convinced…she waved her hand and a tendril swirls around Yami’s leg, making its way up and slipping into his pocket, pulling out Lillian’s necklace which Yugi always kept with him. The shadow brings it to its master. The red head holds it up for the biker to see, the blue gem shimmering in the glow of the seal beneath Rozu’s feet, Raphael’s eyes widening.

 

Rozu grinned and hung the jewel around her neck as she turns her attention back to the man in front of her, “You can have her if you win…but if you lose…” she raises her hand, the markings on her arms glowing as the shadows swirl in her hand, taking shape and forming her bone scythe.  She grips it tightly, bringing it close and stroking the skull attached to it. She then raises it in the air before bringing it down swiftly, the blade embedding itself into the seal…the green glow bursting with red sparks and bolts of electricity…the symbols changing…the green dome turning blood red with swirls of black magic…the seal on the man’s forehead disappearing and reappearing as red on Rozu’s forehead.

 

“…Your soul is mine to add to my collection.” She giggles wickedly as she twirls her scythe before raising her free hand, 5 smoky cards appearing before her. The man’s eyes widen as he takes a step back, what the hell was all this? This shouldn’t be possible! The red head flings the cards into the ground and bursting into black smoke as the screams of the damned fills the air, 5 figures rising from the ground as Rozu glances back at the captured teens, “I believe you have met this fine gentlemen…” the figures take shape…Joey, Tristian, Téa and Yami’s eyes go wide at the horror before them…

 

Standing there hunched over was the Big 5…or rather what remained of them…Gansely’s eyes were pale green as well as his skin which was sagging and melting off as if he had been dosed in acid…his rotting flesh peering from beneath, a red purplish colour that stank like meat that had been left out in the sun for two weeks before being dozed in oil and burned…

 

Crump had a missing arm and leg, a large bite taken out of his side and head, blood and puss oozing from the wounds…bits of flesh and tissue hanging from the massive bite marks…

 

Johnson was covered in bite marks too, smaller ones that was flowing with venom and blackened blood…his skin looking sickly as his eyes were melting out of his skull…

 

Nesbit flesh was covered in severe burns, the skin bubbling with blisters and sores as his body was still smoking as if he was still on fire…the smell of sulphur surrounds him as bits of charred flesh falls off his bones…

 

Lecter had bits of broken bones sticking out from his flesh as his whole body was contorted, his arms and legs broken, his jaw hanging limp and lose by a thread…

 

Rozu hums to herself, “You little kids might be confused to see them again since you watched them get devoured by yours truly…well you see their souls may be gone but the essence of their spirits remain for me to do with as I please…Now…let’s have some fun.”

 

The duel is brutal as the man struggles to find a way to get rid of the zombified men that just kept coming back from the grave yard each time they were destroyed…however he managed to bring forth Obelisk to the field, the man look rather proud of himself, “This duel is over and I will return to my master with my head held high and present him with a soul he has been searching for years!” he laughs with excitement but Rozu remains unfazed as she starts to smirk…the cheeks slowly splitting open, revealing rows of sharp teeth as blood seeps from the wounds, running down her jaw and neck as a loud cracking sound fills the air as the flesh on her back rips open, large leathery black wings emerging from the large wounds…

 

“You think that thing scares me?” her voice sounds distorted and hissing as she swings her scythe, slicing off the heads of the 5 gruesomely disfigured men, blood and black ink spraying from their necks and forming long tendrils that shoot up and wrap around Obelisk, the Egyptian god struggling against it as it roars. The opponents eyes widen as his body starts to tremble at the woman’s beastly appearance, looking like something straight out of hell…he watches as her black wings spread open, flapping hard as she launches herself into the air and flies at the blue Egyptian god, laughing maniacally, “I’ve been wanting to do this for years big boy. You know what they say, the bigger they are…” she raises her scythe over her head, “…The more blood they spill!” she shouts as she decapitates the behemoth, his head crashing to the ground as she continues to slice into the beast, cutting him down to pieces like someone chiselling away at a large stone till there was nothing left but rubble…

 

Everyone watches as the goddess lands on the ground gracefully, a pout on her face as she slowly returns to normal, “Damn it…seems like he was nothing but stone…what a shame…I wanted a blood bath…” she shrugs, “Oh well…” she turns her gaze to her opponent, the man’s life points hit zero, “I still have you to play with at least…” she glides over to him as he works quickly to remove the god card from his duel disk and tosses it to Raphael, the stoic blond man looking on as he catches the card…

 

The loser tries to run but the headless remains of the big 5 corner him, each one grabbing a limb and holding him in places as Rozu reaches him, licking her lips, running the tip of her blade over his cheek before making the scythe disappear and grabbing his throat, “You lost…which means you are mine.” She licks her lips as her fangs grow long and sharp, she growls as she quickly bites into is neck, her teeth piercing the skin and blood spraying from the wound as she continues to bite…sinking her pearly whites deeper and deeper into his flesh until they reaches his jugular…pulling back as she rips out the long pipe of flesh, leaving the man to bleed out and choke on his one blood as the zombies disappear into the shadows…the red seal evaporating into nothing.

 

She spits out the flesh and wiping the blood off her face, “Your soul isn’t even worth eating.” She spits on his corpse before gaze up at the 3 bikers only to see that they had disappeared…oh well. She will get to them eventually…and then she will make a fine meal out of Dartz.

 

She finally turns her attention back to the horrified looking teens, walking over to them as she motions for the shadows to bring Yami to her, running her clawed fingers over his cheek, seeing the fear and anger in his eyes, the rage he had for her, “Oh don’t look at me like that sweet boy…after all, you did the exact same thing one…I would say you did worse...” the shadow that was holding the Millennium Puzzle over the edge brings the item over to its master, “I might hold the information of your past from you but I am inclined to share some details I suppose…the first being that the shadow games and monsters that plagued Egypt was all your fault…You were the reason some many lives were lost and people suffered…it was all on you my boy…and it was all because of a boy…”

 

In that moment a memory flashes through Yam’s mind…

 

Atem knew he was getting close to his beloved as he felt his light…heading down the stairs leading to the dungeon when he stops, hearing a horrific scream bounce off the walls…he dashed down the tunnel, reaching a room that greeted him with a nightmarish sight…he stood frozen…the world slowing down around him, he could hear muffled voices as the only thing he could focus on was the mutilated body of the boy he loved…

 

Atem couldn’t look away from the lashing that covered his white skin, the blood and spit pouring out of his mouth as the guards let go of the boy, leaving him lying unmoving on the cold blood stained floor. His eyes were shut and it looked like he was barely breathing…

 

Anzu’s eyes widen in terror as she backs away, her guards bowing to the prince, the one with the knife speaking up, “Your majesty you should not be down here…” the prince wasn’t listening as his legs slowly carried him towards the other boy. He kneeled down, reaching out a hand towards his beloved when the guard stopped him, taking hold of the prince’s arm, “You shouldn’t be touching filth your majesty…”

 

Suddenly a shadow like blade shot out of the floor, slicing off the guards arm. He screams in pain as he stumbles back, blood splattering on Atem…the prince’s face darkens as the room is engulfed by shadows and darkness, yellow eyes appearing in the blackness as the room echoes with snarls and growls. The other guards shook with terror as the dispersed, trying to find a way out but if wouldn’t help. They were trapped. Anzu tried to run but she was grabbed by several long black tentacles, each one of her limbs being wrapped by them in a tight grip before pulling her apart, ripping them from their sockets. She didn’t even have time to scream as her dismembered body was swallowed by shadows.

 

The guards cowered in a corner, some of them wetting themselves as the watched in horror as the prince’s body started to morph, his skin become black with glowing yellow symbols covering his body, his eyes turned gold with slip pupils, a third eye appearing on his forehead, two large leathery wings sprouted from his back, spreading out as they towered over the guards. Atem faced them, opening his mouth to speak, revealing a set of elongated and sharp canines, “The doorway of darkness has opened.” Two voices left his throat, reverberating through the shadows. His fingers becoming red claws as he flexed his fingers…

 

The guards couldn’t even move as the beast charged at them…ripping into their flesh and shredding their bodies as he devoured their very souls...his agony and rage spreading out into the upper floors of the palace, seeping into to the outside world and engulfing the city in darkness, several monsters formed out of the shadows and started attacking the citizens of city…but Atem didn’t care…his little light had been snuffed out…

 

He gasps as his mind returns to reality…his eyes focusing on Rozu…he remembers…everything had indeed been his fault…the red watches the realization was over his face, a soft chuckle leaving her lips, “The sooner you realize that everything that has happened is as a result of you and the sooner you accept that you deserve every bit of sorrow and pain that is coming your way…and that all you are good for is being alone…” she says it with so much spite and hatred…who she was saying it to remained to be seen…whether it was to the pharaoh or herself…

 

She took a step back and looked at the puzzle for a moment, the corner of her lips curling as she takes one last glances at Yami, she would ensure he betrayed the little one…she would make him break his heart and destroy the bond they had…and she knew exactly how…

 

It all happened so fast…a shadow retrieves the stone that was around the dead man’s neck as Rozu throws the puzzle off the side of the building…distracting Yami as the shadows holding him and his friends disappear…the tendril that had grabbed the stone gives the evil rock to its master…the red head placing it in the pharaohs pocket…while he tries to catch the puzzle as it flies through the air but he misses it…going over the edge…

 

However Joey jumps after it, catching it by the chain as he goes over the ledge, Tristian and Téa catching his legs, stopping the blond before he falls to his death. Yami rushes over and helps the teens to pull him back onto the roof, a massive wave of relief washing over the Yami as he sees that Joey had caught his puzzle…

 

The blonde walks over to him and hands him the object, the pharaoh quickly taking it, feeling his connection with Yugi again as he hugs the object to his chest…he had been so afraid to lose his precious angel…he had nearly lost him again if what he had seen was to be believed…he sinks to his knees as he cradles the artefact, tears falling from his eyes as Yugi apparats beside him, Yami whispering over and over again, “You’re ok…you’re ok…you’re ok…”  while his friends stare at him. Tristian is the first to look over at Rozu but the red head was gone…

 

A few hours later…

 

Lillian groans as she slowly wakes up, holding her head as she feels a wave a nausea washes over her as she sits up…finding herself in her and Seto’s bedroom, not remembering how she got there…

 

She rushes to the bathroom and throws up, coughing heavily as she chokes a little…her eyes widening as she sees the blood that she was bringing up…the memories of what happened when Rozu took control of her floods through her head, bringing on another wave of sickness…

 

But she didn’t have time to think this over as the ground shakes…a roar echoing through the night…a roar she hadn’t heard for 10 000 years…

 

Within the Millennium puzzle…

 

After the events of the duel, everyone had headed home as they were all genuinely freaked out by what they had witnessed…these kids really needed therapy…

 

Yami had disappeared into the recesses of the puzzle; Yugi had thought that the spirit would’ve wanted to talk about what had happened…heck Yugi wasn’t even able to see what had happened since he was trapped within the puzzle, his connection with Yami broken when the artefact had been removed from the spirit…

 

His friends had explained the whole situation and it was a little terrifying to think about…well a lot terrifying…he could feel the anguish Yami was feeling as he seemed to be restless with in the millennium item. But the he refused to talk to Yugi…

 

After the short teen had made sure grandpa was ok and put to bed, Yugi had gone to bed too…falling asleep quickly and going into the puzzle. He quickly made his way to Yami’s room to make sure the other was ok…but he wasn’t easy to find in the massive maze of madness…it felt like Yugi had been walking for hours when he eventually found heard someone groaning and punching something in one of the rooms…

 

Yugi slowly opened the door and gasped softly at what he saw…Yami was leaning against a wall that had splatters of blood on it…the spirits fists red and covered in blood too as if the pharaoh had been punching the wall for the last few hours. His forehead resting against the cold stone surface, his blond bangs hiding his face…his body was trembling ever so slightly as if he was silently crying…not even noticing that someone had entered the room…

 

Yugi slowly approached him…being as quiet as a mouse as he slowly touches the spirits arm…Yami reacting quickly as he grabs Yugi’s collar and raises his fist but stops when he realises who it was…the pharaoh quickly shoving the other away before he could hurt him…his red eyes wide and wet with tears…he sinks to his knees as he looks down at his bloodied and bruised hands…he had nearly lost Yugi again…the memory of what he had down and what he had seen was too much for him…the memory was too painful…too raw since he had nearly lost his little Aibou numerous times now…it was too much…he couldn’t do this…he couldn’t…

 

He was pulled from his thoughts when Yugi had kneeled down in front of him, gently taking his hands, running his thumbs over his knuckles as he tried to get Yami to look at him, speaking in the softest little voice, “It’s ok Yami…We’ll get through this togeth--” he is interrupted by the older teen grabbing him and pulling him against his body as he smashes his lips against Yugi’s in a desperate kiss, tears streaming down his cheeks as he sobs softly, gripping Yugi tightly as he starts to crack…

 

Yugi wraps his arms around the other slowly as he returns the kiss, his hands glowing as he tries to send soothing energy into the other boy, to ease the distress he was experiencing as he continues to say that everything was ok…

 

Yami eventually broke the kiss as he rests his forehead on Yugi’s shoulder, “Pl…please…please don’t leave me…” he begs softly as his fists tightens its hold on Yugi’s shirt…fearing for what would happen if he ever got separate from the other half of his soul…the light of his life…sun to his moon…the stars in his night sky…his everything…the most precious thing to him…

 

Yugi runs his fingers through the others hair, pressing a soft kiss to the side of his head, making a vow to never leave his side…to remain with him for the rest of his life…to love him till the end of time…

[saxandviolins77]

Now, let's talk about the characters chosen, let's separate them it three categories. (everything is my personal opinion, of course)

NOT KEEPING IT WEEZY

Optimus Prime (3.3%): I don't think your dad is keeping it Weezy, I see why people would choose him, maybe the Beachy Boys influence would help but... OP is a traditional American folk guy, yes, the ones that talk about the working class and social causes.

Prowl (9%): I feel the pathetic nerd energy this upkeep guy has, but he takes himself a little too seriously for that. He listens to classical music because Chip said it stimulates the brain (poor Chip, fell for elitist talk).

Jazz (19.7%): I added it as a joke because I thought it was ridiculously funny to add a BLACK character named JAZZ in a Weezer poll. I guess no one else found it as funny. I'll assume the voters only chose Jazz because of his love for music (an extremely shallow reason) and/or because they don't know and never heard Weezer. I chose peace.

Ratchet (3.3%): Knows Weezer, secretly despises it, and grimaces every time he hears the "Buddy Holly" riff.

Bumblebee (13.9%): The most unexpected high percentage. He may be the target demographic but he really thinks/knows Weezer is lame af. Bumblebee would rather listen to The Mamas & the Papas, the Beachy Boys, or The Monkees. This guy has taste.

MAYBE KEEPING IT WEEZY

Wheeljack (15.6%): I see it, quirky scientist. I do think he only has a surface-level understanding of Wheezer and maybe even likes a couple of songs. I personally think WJ is a punk grandpa who is half-deaf in one audio receptor and listens to industrial rock, but that's my honest opinion.

Perceptor (1.6%): Honestly offended he has the lowest percentage, maybe IDW corrupted your guys' minds too much, next time(pfft) I'll explicitly say G1. Either way, Percy completely gets the premise behind Weezer. A dork band resonates with a dorky scientist. Sadly, he couldn't get into it, every song blends together for him, an understandable situation. Percy also doesn't strike me as an "album listener", he may like some random short songs, but not really much to become a "fan".

Sunstreaker (4.9%): A very high percentage. Sunny is shallow, he only likes what's popular. So back in the 90's when Weezer was at its peak, he was very much enjoying a silly song like "Buddy Holly", now... "Undone"? He didn't get it, he isn't the target audience.

JUST KEEPING IT WEEZY

Gears (4.1%): Hate-listens to them. A normal fan. Secretly hopes Rivers gets his shit together for once. Relates to the themes of isolation and alienation.

Cosmos (7.4%): I talked about it in the comments, but I'll expand my thoughts here. He is absolutely the target audience. The themes of loneliness that plague everything Rivers writes really resonate with him. He also takes solace in how Weezer isn't afraid to be dorky and awkward. He enjoys the cozy feeling of songs like "Island in the Sun", "Burndt Jamb", he also deeply relates to the feeling of dislocation in "Beverly Hills" and "TWHTALMH". Didn't really get Pinkerton, but loves their other stuff. Keeps it a secret though.

Bluestreak (12.3%): He will jam to "Buddy Holly", but in the dark of his room he is listening to Pinkerton. For context, this is the flop album Rivers made after dropping out of college and distancing himself from the band, at the time the feelings of loneliness, being an outcast and general angst permeated this album, making it one of the best and most raw Weezer outings to date. As such, I feel Bluestreak (trauma baggage guy) would resonate with it, it's a pretty heavy and ugly album and it touches on some very personal things. I cannot select songs that would resonate with him, as this is one of those albums that must be listened to front to back, this is an album Rivers poured his soul and angst in.

Weezer Green album is genuinely melting my brain right now, so let's vote.

I tried to choose the more "obvious" options for characters, but idk... maybe you think Ironhide listens to Weezer or smt.

Either way, vote and the bad taste in music shall prevail.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

reading update

friends, I have no time for bullshit. this is gonna be a long one, I have a tremendous TBR pile waiting for me, and we need to just jump right in. remember how last month I said I was going to get back into comics in a big way? I've made good on my threat.

without further ado, here's what I've been reading:

Fearing the Black Body: The Racial Origins of Fat Phobia (Sabrina Strings, 2019) - maybe one of my favorite nonfiction books I've read so far this year. shockingly comprehensive despite the sheer breadth of time it tackles; it's genuinely a bit dizzying to see antiblackness and fatphobia traced so succinctly across centuries and straight into the 21st century. prepare to spit nails learning about all the ways that the English have invented the most heinous bullshit you've ever heard to justify why they're just naturally biologically better than Black people, Asians, Natives, Italians, Eastern Europeans, Jews, and the Irish. tremendous breakdown of race-making and how deeply, truly insidious so many ideas about bodies are.

Dead Collections (Isaac Fellman, 2022) - a quirky little oddball of a novel about a trans vampire working in an archive and a recently widowed fanfic writer who have a totally typical meet cute - obviously the best way to get back out there is to hook up with the archivist handling your dead wife's screenplays and letters, right? Dead Collections follows Our Protagonist, the aforementioned vampire Sol, as he struggles with pretty much everything; if you're a fan of the Guy Having An Elaborate Internal Monologue While Having A Pretty Bad Time genre, this one may be for you. I was a little underwhelmed by Dead Collections, but it's got a sharp and interesting take on vampires + a queer sexy little romance that's worth the while.

Siren Queen (Nghi Vo, 2022) - listen: I am a Nghi Vo stan first and a person second. she can do no wrong. Siren Queen was, to my understanding, actually the first novel Vo wrote even though it's hardly the first book she's published, and while I think it shows a bit of first novel overambition, Siren Queen is still dazzling in its atmosphere and creepy factor. Vo brilliantly blends fey mythos with the early days of Hollywood - changelings roam the movie lots, actors' true names are bartered and sold, and studio heads are inhuman monsters who treat their stars like playthings. one of my favorite details was an older actor being described as having the color actually bleached out of them, turning them literally black and white, from back in the day when cameras were hungrier. spooky! and a brilliant concept, which Vo plays with in all kinds of thrilling ways as her protagonist, Chinese-American lesbian Luli, fights to make a name for herself without having to compromise any part of who she is.

Real Hero Shit (Kendra Wells, 2022) - a real fun D&D-esque comic about a ditzy and horny tiefling prince running off with a party of hardened adventurers. absolutely worth the twelve bucks I spent to scoop it up at Pride! my only complaint is that we got to see some lovingly drawn tits but absolutely zero purple cock and/or balls, which just feels wildly unfair. it's about equality, Kendra.

The Metamorphosis (Franz Kafka, 1915, trans. William Aaltonen) - hey gang, at risk of sounding like a dumbass, I did not know what actually happens in The Metamorphosis. my knowledge began and ended with Gregor Samsa waking up as a bug and going "ah heck how am I gonna get to work?" and I was like cool commentary on capitalism bro, I get it. but did I? because I had no idea that Gregor then proceeds to spend the rest of his life scuttling pathetically around his room while his family feeds him garbage and ignores him. I assumed he would put on a bug tie and go to work or something and the commentary would be about the absurdism of being expected to sit at your desk doing paperwork despite being a fucking giant insect. but instead it's about, like, taking on a form that's alien and inconvenient to your family and becoming an isolated and reviled burden through absolutely no fault of your own because something about your body has become disruptive to the familial peace. and then he just fucking DIES because he gives up on life and the family's RELIEVED and get on with their business thinking about how great it is that they can move now and how lucky they are to still have a daughter with a beautiful normal body. frankly really chilling stuff, Franz.

Batman and Robin Eternal, Vol. 1 (James Tynion IV and Scott Snyder) - first off in the name of proper credit, I'm extremely aware that Tynion and Snyder are NOT the only people who worked on this by a country mile. unfortunately, there are so many issues jammed into this trade paperback that I'd be here all day if I were to list every individual writer and artist; for my sanity, I'm defaulting credit to the names listed on the front cover even though I know that's technically wrong. anyway, having said that: I remember liking Batman and Robin Eternal pretty well when I started it a few years ago, but sweet lord it has not held up for me very well at all. the story is fine, it's your standard global espionage Bat-shenanigans and every sidekick from Dick to Duke puts in at least a cameo, but god. christ. it's just... it's so New 52. according to my own math, the Batfamily timeline proposed by this book seems to suggest that Bruce has inducted a new Robin every 18 months for YEARS, and Dick somehow can't be any older than 24 at most. it's messy out here, kids. on the plus side: if you like Harper Row and you're gonna get a lot of Harper Row, and she and Cass are definitely dating.

100 Boyfriends (Brontez Purnell) - god, WHAT a collection of stories. Purnell has put together a roller coaster of messy gay experiences - drugs, sex work, infidelity, sex addiction, cruising, etc - and tied them up in poignancy and humor. there's a man having sex with his co-worker's husband, an actor who's washed up after his days starring in a campy gay sitcom, a musician touring Europe in a whirlwind of hookups and drugs and cancelled plans. each story is whip sharp and crazy fast, hardly ever lingering more than a few pages, but they leave unforgettable impressions.

The Sandman: Preludes and Nocturnes (Neil Gaiman, 1988) - so my mom is moving and consequently shipping me boxes full of my shit that she doesn't want to be responsible for anymore, including all the Sandman trade paperbacks that I almost bankrupted myself buying the first summer that I had a job. for me The Sandman very much falls under "things that everyone says are good and are, frustratingly, actually good" - and yes, that extends to Preludes & Nocturnes even though we all know it's the weakest part of the series! I know it's absolutely going to get better from here once Neilman starts abandoning the larger DC universe doing his own thing, and I'm looking forward to that, but for now it is kind of charming to watch him bend over backwards to get characters Martian Manhunter and the Scarecrow involved.

The Vegetarian (Han Kang, 2016, trans. Deborah Smith) - I checked this book out at the same time as The Metamorphosis because 1.) it was also short and 2.) the jacket described it as "Kafka-esque," and I can be persuaded to do almost anything by a sufficiently amount of serendipity. it's certainly also EXTREMELY UNSETTLING! the tl;dr is that a Korean woman decides to give up eating meat after having some sort of fucked up dream, only for her husband and family to lose their fucking minds. to her husband she's an embarrassment; to her brother-in-law, an object of sexual obsession; to her sister, an inconvenient obligation. I can definitely see thematic parallels to the Metamorphosis in terms of that looming question of whether your family will still love and care for you if you become someone they no longer recognize, but there's a major difference in the fact that all the narration comes from other perspectives. we have no idea what's happening in the titular vegetarian's head as she seems to grow more and more distant and passive, nor what she feels about the ways she's being (mis)treated. great book, hurt my head.

Batman: Year One (Frank Miller and David Mazzicchello, 1986) - straight up? excellent. delicious. NO notes. Gotham (the tv show) desperately wants what Year One has but is too cowardly to actually let Gordon run Flass off the road, beat him senseless, and leave him handcuffed butt naked in the woods in the middle of winter. grow up!!

Batman and Robin Eternal Volume 2 (James Tynion IV and Scott Snyder, 2016) - pretty much the same as Volume 1 but dumber and more chaotic; a story about the Batkids teaming up to take down a human trafficking ring that even Batman couldn't bust turns into just. a whole convoluted take over the world scheme that we can't call the Justice League for help with, For Some Reason. and yet. and yet. I am not immune to the scene in which Damian chews out his brothers for thinking they're failures for not being Batman clones and reminds them all that Bruce not only knows they aren't like him, but it proud of and grateful for it. or the reveal that Bruce has spent years trying to do right by Harper to give her as much control as possible over her own life. or the ending when he takes Cassandra on after getting his memory back (Bruce was an amnesiac for this entire story, I don't know why or care. comics are like that). I have feelings about daddy!Bats your honor.

Batman: King Tut's Tomb (Nunzio DeFillippis, Christina Weir, José Luis García-López, and Kevin Nowlan, 2009) - gamers, I'm not gonna lie: this is probably one of my favorite things I'm going to read this year. King Tut's Tomb collects issues #26-28 of Batman Confidential and employs possibly my favorite kind of Batman storyline: there's some weird-ass murders happening in Gotham again, and now Batman has to do something about it. in this case he teams up with the Riddler, because the insane white man doing brownface and calling himself King Tut while he kills people is also spewing riddles during his homicides, which is thematically a bit confusing and also pisses the Riddler right off. after Batman declines his first offer to help Eddie shimmies himself right out of Arkham anyway and proceeds to spend a full day cheerfully calling Bruce "partner," being rude to cops (based), and being right about pretty much everything. I really enjoy the way DeFillippis and Weir write the Riddler, employing sort of a "used car salesman" energy that really straddles the line between charming and insufferable, and Bruce makes a phenomenal straight man for him to play off. I would have read another 20 issues of this happily, but I respect a story that doesn't overstay its welcome.

[weiying-lanzhan-fics]

Linger by the Door (I've Always Been Yours) by piecrust

Wow! How have I not read this gem of a story until now?!

It was beautiful - seeing everything from WY’s POV and understanding his thoughts which were absolutely at odds with his awesome deeds. And his quirky humor made him such a well-rounded character. Him getting welcomed and loved by others and finding a home in so many different places was extremely satisfying to read.

Absolutely will reread. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Quotes:

“Stupid, idiot. I’m going to make that young master pay me a hundred, no a thousand, gold nuggets for this,” Wei Wuxian seethed, his chest and arms and everything burning from the strain of swimming with a dead weight. To add to his misery, Zhan Zhengxi was not small. He was, in fact, a rather large man. Tall and broad and fucking heavy. “Suicide mission, they say. And me, like a reasonable person, assume it’s because of the ghost ship. Not because the man they’re trying to save is so heavy and stupid it’s impossible to save him.”

Pure anger fueled Wei Wuxian back to shore. He pulled Zhan Zhengxi from the water and onto dry land and with all the anger left in his body, he pounded Zhan Zhengxi’s chest. Three thumps later, Zhan Zhengxi shot up, coughing up the water that had gotten trapped in his lungs. Satisfied that Zhan Zhengxi would not die, Wei Wuxian collapsed next to him, chest heaving with desperate breaths. He stared up at the sky, colored orange and purple and pink with the sunset, and even with his preoccupation with getting air into his body, the beauty of it stunned him.

“Zhan Xixi! Zhan Xixi!” a voice yelled, and soon Wei Wuxian was surrounded by the group from the dock.

“Zhan Xixi, Zhan Xixi, what were you thinking? I was so worried,” the young master sobbed, pale fingers a stark contrast on Zhan Zhengxi’s dark face. “I’ll kill you myself if you do something so reckless again.”

“Jian Yi, I’m fine,” Zhan Zhengxi coughed, but after a pause he said, “I’m sorry to have worried you.”

What a touching reunion, Wei Wuxian thought uncharitably, the man who just risked his life to save your idiot ass is just dying next to you but please continue.

————

Wei Wuxian read and reread the letter in shock. Lan Zhan had gone to the ocean? Just because of Wei Wuxian’s stupid letter? His heart was beating so fast that it threatened to burst out of his chest. Wei Wuxian covered his face with his hands and tipped forward, smushing his face into the bed. He was going to be sick. His heart was going to come out of his mouth and run on its own to Gusu. He couldn’t take this, he thought crazily.

He rocked back and forth, chanting ‘calm down, calm down, calm down,’ in his head. After a while, he sprawled back on his back with a huge sigh. He was reading too much into it, he reasoned. Finding devotion where there wasn’t any. Lan Zhan probably had some Excellency business that conveniently took him near the ocean.

He scrubbed a hand over his face. Feeling embarrassed at how worked up he had gotten himself. Idiot must be contagious, he thought, thinking of Zhan Zhengxi and Jian Yi. He could swear that he used to be cooler before meeting them. Those two idiots must have contaminated him with their stupidity.

Still… He couldn’t help but feel a little jealous. Jian Yi may have cried his eyes out and Zhan Zhengxi might have spent what little money he had earned on a box of sweets that he couldn’t even give to Jian Yi outright, but… they loved each other. They’d get it right sooner or later. They would never be as pathetic as Wei Wuxian. Sitting in the dark. Falling to pieces because of a letter from a friend.

————

When he was younger, usually after being punished by Madam Yu, he used to swim in the lakes and cry underwater – not wanting to give her the satisfaction of seeing or hearing him cry.

He’d swim for hours. Until the redness in his eyes went away, until his throat didn’t hurt anymore. Then, before getting out he’d find a pretty rock at the bottom of the lake and give it to his shijie.

She always looked at him like she knew, but she was kind enough to not say anything. She’d smile at his small present and say, “A-Xian, this is the prettiest rock I’ve ever seen!” It was always the prettiest rock she’d ever seen. Whenever he went to her room, he’d see them all lined up by her window.

If Wei Wuxian was honest with himself, she was probably the only person in Yunmeng who truly loved him. Who truly saw him as family.

All that love and Wei Wuxian repaid her by killing her husband. Killing her.

Wei Wuxian sat up with a gasp. He scrubbed both hands over his face, rubbing his eyes until dull colors flashed behind his lids. “Why am I the worst,” he cursed quietly.

If there was a life after this one he’d come back as a rock. He’d sit quietly by a window and he’d never hurt anyone at all.

T, 78450

Summary:

Wei Wuxian travels the world alone, finding homes in unexpected places, and loving Lan Zhan one letter at a time.

@sincerelystranger

[awesomerextyphoon]

I love your writing. May I have Loki x Reader? The reader is a sweet, delicate dreamer. Loki has come to conquer the world. He saw her and wants her to become his Queen of Midgard. He kidnapped her. She pleads with him to let her go while she is tied to the bed. He caresses her hair and says she will love him (he doesn't want to use the scepter on her).

***Can I have White Reader x Loki, please? Loki just escaped from the Helicarrier. He saw the reader who is a sweet and innocent creature. Loki doesn't want her dead when he will start battle. Loki kidnaps her and locks her up to keep her safe. When he wins, Loki tells her that she will become his queen.***

Hi! I decided to combine the prompts and make the reader plus-sized. I hope you enjoy! 

His Match

Pairing: Dark!Loki x Plus-Sized Female Reader 

Summary: You’ve tried to live by your grandmother’s rule  of being kind to others, even when the world gives you the middle finger. What if a Norse God decided reward you by becoming his Queen?

Word Count: 1,745

Rating: 18+/Mature

Warning: Kidnapping, Implied Dub/Non-Con, Angst, and some Violence

A/N: Thanks goes to the amazing @angrythingstarlight for beta reading this!

Loki was walking around New York City, scouting Stark Tower making sure the final preparations of his plan was perfect when something, or rather someone, caught his eye.

She walked out of what looked like a women’s clothing store with a forlorn smile. She was plumper than the average female Midgardian last time he frequented the realm. His eyes did not miss the enticing curves that lied beneath her clothes despite her efforts to ensconce herself into the background.

She was a vision.

Her eyes met his for the briefest of moments and it felt like time stopped. His heart quickened in his chest and a rush of blood surged to his groin.

He had to follow her. His Elskan.

“Barton, tell the others I’ll be out for a few more hours. Proceed as planned.”

–––––

He found you entering a rather destitute apartment complex. Its lights and foundation were a bit unsound and gave off a seedy ambience.

Loki grimaced at her living conditions. When he ruled Midgard, she would have only the best.

Casting a simple concealment spell, Loki entered her fairly small apartment. She began mixing ingredients together for what looked to be ‘chocolate chip cookies’. He smiled as he inhaled the sweet aroma knowingly; Asgard had only recently started consuming the sweet. She soon laid out a batch of thick, scrumptious cookies with a satisfied expression.

They reminded him of better times when he and Thor would sneak into the kitchens and swipe confections from under the baker’s nose. Loki chuckled at the memory; those were the days.

Not ten minutes after she placed the last cookie onto the cooling rack did her phone ring. It was her mother. Loki felt dread coming off his Elskan in waves.

Loki could only make out bits and pieces of the conversation, if you could call it that. Her mother constantly nagged her about her weight, life choices, and her ‘pathetic’ attempts to get over her ex-boyfriend. His heart broke as he saw tears begin to fall and the croaking of her voice as she bid the odious creature goodnight.

Several minutes after she cried herself to sleep, Loki entered his Elskan’s bedroom. He spied her diary on the nightstand and decided to read a few pages.

He was fuming within two minutes.

How dare that caustic pig sow treat his Elskan, her own daughter, in a such ghastly manner! Her ‘perfect’ sister always slighting and reminding her on how ‘she’ll never be good enough for anything’ and her father’s callous indifference to her cries for help and solace only added to his rage. Combined with the way her ex-boyfriend, the repugnant gnat, treated her (he cheated on her with someone who ‘wasn’t built like a blimp’ and ‘the only thing you thing you had going for you were your tits’) and he wanted to speed up the invasion just to watch the horror become engrained onto their faces.

And yet, she endeavored to treat everyone with kindness harkening back to your grandmother. She strived to be the one light in one’s otherwise miserable existence.

Well, she can be his light as his Elskan and Queen.

Loki took a deep, cleansing breath. He needed to stick to the plan. When he conquers Midgard, she will be their queen. She will grace the undeserving masses with her elegance and beauty and he will worship her every chance he got.

He just had to make her see it that way.

Gently, the light forest green glow of Loki's magic flowed from his hand to the crown of her head like a halo. He leaned in and kissed her cheek with a smile as he left.

He hated to leave her, but he had a realm to conquer. Though he hoped she’d enjoy the introductory gift.

––––––

You were in your grandmother’s living room; spacious yet comfy with all of her quirkiness and splendor included. It was odd since you haven’t been in her house since your parents sold after her death seven years ago. You tearfully smiled remembering all the good times you had with her, the only member of your family you gave you any true warmth or love.

Her piano was in the corner, barely aged a day with all the music sheets, pens, a light scratches you came to know and love. You took your seat and started to play the piano version of one of your favorite movie themes.

You were so engrossed in playing, you failed to notice someone materializing into your dreamscape.

“What a lovely tune! What is it called?” A smooth, honey-tinged voice broke your concentration.

You turned your head and saw what had to be the most beautiful man you’ve ever seen. He was tall (6’ 10” / 2.08m) easily towering over any man you’ve ever met. He had smooth alabaster skin, light rose undertones with a little blue-red just under his eyes. His cheekbones were immaculate, somehow looked sharp and soft at the same time. He had thin lips with a fair plumpness to the bottom one. His slicked-back, shoulder-length Ponzu/Shadow Purple hair kissed his lean, battle-hardened physique (if the way he’s filling out his outfit was anyway to go by). All of this deliciousness was clothed in a casual Palm Green suit with a Glossy Black tie and shoes.

It took you a full minute to stop ogling him, “Wha-What did you say?”

“I apologize for disturbing you, my lady. I asked what you were playing.” His voice had hints of mirth which was odd considering his appearance. Most people in his league would give you a thinly veiled sneer of disgust, but he seemed genuinely interested.

“Um, well, it’s called Merry-Go-Round of Life from the movie Howl’s Moving Castle. It’s a favorite of mine. I used to play it all the time until…” You trailed off, not wanting to revisit how your grandmother died.

“You do not have to tell me if it brings you such displeasure.”

“Thank you, um…”

“Loki. Please, call me Loki.”

“Loki,” he inwardly moaned at the way you said his name, “Nice to meet you.”

“Likewise. Please, continue playing.”

And you did for what felt like hours, all while your sexy dream companion asked about your hopes, dreams, anything he could think of really. You in turn asked him about his life and interests; you even laughed at a story of his brother having to dress like a bride to get his hammer back.

You soon became enamored with Loki. It was refreshing to be noticed with actual interest, not ridicule or pity. He seemed to taken with you as well, if his gentle caresses and not-so-subtle lustful glances he gave you were any indication.

You were glad this was just a dream. You didn’t want your heart to break like last time.

Loki was about to lean in for a kiss when everything faded to black.

–––––

You jolted up from the mattress and screamed once you realized you weren’t in your room.

No, this room was…spectacular for lack of better word. It had high ceilings, large windows, ornate chandeliers, and magnificent balcony. Luxurious dark greens, gold, and black covered the room in splendor. Extravagant pieces of furniture dripped with precious stones metal worthy of queens or royal mistresses of old.

“What is this place?”

You tried to leave but was forced back onto the bed by a force field. You tried to take calm breaths just like your therapist taught you in order to make an escape plan.

No sooner did you calm down than the door open to reveal-

“Loki!”

Only Loki was wearing radically different clothing; looked like he walked right out of a fantasy epic. And yet, his smile was enchanting.

“What am I doing here? I need to go back home.”

He tutted in response, “That would not be wise, Elskan Mín. This world is mine now and this is safest place to be.” He was right. His brother’s team of desperate souls were no match for his cunning and Chitauri Forces. Midgard’s pathetic leaders gave up in less than an hour once their beloved ‘heroes’ were defeated, broken, and laid bare before them.

“You can’t be serious, Loki. I need to leave.”

“And go where? Like I said, this realm is mine now. That rat poison of a dwelling is no more and I have dealt with your ‘family’ as needed.” Loki smirked at the memories. It gave him extreme joy squeezing the life out of that worthless pig of mother, breaking every bone in your father’s body one by one, and leaving your ‘perfect’ sister alive with partially rotten skin. Not even the scavengers or maggots would find or want the remains of the scurvy insect of an ex-boyfriend, though he was still alive..just barely.

Well, at least until he decided on how to destroy the blight of creature.

Though he did make sure to leave two of your real friend were treated well. You needed to have someone to talk to while he was away.

You gazed into his Spearmint colored eyes in one last attempt, “Please Loki! If you love me, you’ll let me go!”

For a split second, you could’ve sworn you saw hurt in his eyes and he glided across the room. You back hit the headboard in you sad efforts to get away from him.

“Elskan Mín, I promise to always love, cherish, and worship every part of your glorious body. You will become Midgard’s queen and my goddess. No. One. Will. Ever. Demean. Or. Slight. You. Again.” he punctuated each word of the last sentence with soft, open-mouthed kisses to your face, neck, shoulders, and collarbone.

You tried to fight him, but it felt so good. His touches sent shots of lightning to your core; plus his lips and fingers were cook to the touch provided excellent contrast to the spike in heat.

You started crying realizing how pathetic this was, to have the first person to profess such feelings be a kidnapper. You were actually contemplating whether or not he was telling the truth.

Loki sensed your sorrow and kissed your tears away. “I know this might be ‘difficult’ at first, but you will love me in time.” He hoped he did not have to use the scepter.

You thought about your dream and all of the effort he was putting into this. It was frightening, but it came from a place of love.

Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to stay.

–––––––

@lookiamtrying @jtargaryen18 @sapphirescrolls @jobean12-blog @sweeterthanthis @gotnofucks @mcudarklibrary@saiyanprincessswanie @golden-ariess @navegandoaciegas @stargazingfangirl18 @opheliadawnwalker3 @tilltheendwilliwritee  @imanuglywombat @bucky-the-thigh-slayer @navybrat817 @anyatheladyclown @buckysbunny @nacho-bucky @donutloverxo @stephanieromanoff @threeminutesoflife @angrybirdcr​ @angrythingstarlight @chixkencxrry @hurricanerin @marvelfansworld @the-soulofdevil @captain–barnes @drabblewithfrannybarnes @thebanprincess @winteralpine @leslie2898 @buttercandy16 @propertyofpoeandbucky @hevans-angel @thorfanficwriter @afriendlyblackhottie @avintagekiss24 @syntheticavenger @phant0m-queen @tuiccim​ @blueberrythor​ @river-soul @justthehiddleswrites @sweetkingdomstarlight-blog

[stormvanari]

the “snowball war” hc list below is inspired by this video of a TF2 machinima called Team Neighborhood. This may or may not spiral into a silly AU that takes inspiration from that fun series:

❄️ Adrian is the first casualty on the battlefield, though that was just a clone of him. But still, y’know: he got way to cocky out there.

❄️ Hyde and Darius: “IT WAS JUST A SNOWBALL FIGHT.” Aka. this war is complete bs.

❄️ There are two teams pitted against each other: Terra and Sonore are the leaders of their respective charges.

❄️ Darian transformed the word “fight” into a “war.” In other words, he was using bone-breaking inventions cause he was having too much fun during the battle (and probably got arrogant, but not as extreme as Adrian).

❄️ Loopy is kinda against the growing violence of the snowball war, but as long as Darian is having fun, so does Loopy.

❄️ Cherry and Vitimir are supply witches, but the former is often on the front lines. In fact, the former musters all of their experience as an ex-Coven Scout to treat the battlefield more seriously than others. As long as they’re not drunk, they are able to take an order well during the cacophony.

Cherry: Just a ‘snowball fight??’ Did you not see Adrian get his cheekbone shattered by Darian’s iceballs?! And look at Berylis and Mason’s stone barriers! This is now a war, Hyde!!

❄️ Despite Terra leading the charge, Raine is the best strategist of their team. Darius is another, but he’s against this tomfoolery. Hettie and Ripley are the hard hitters, but former is worse due to her amazing accuracy.

❄️ Adrian is demoted to espionage, so he barely takes part in the frontlines due to being a glass cannon (he’s hella pathetic during the war, but I gotta make him do something serious for once).

❄️ Osran and Yurei sometimes take part on the frontlines, but they are back-line communicators. They have strong contact with their respective Head Illusionists.

❄️ In fact, Darian is actually a spy for his team, so the one you saw handling the inventions is a clone of his to manage them and watch over his team. Unfortunately, that is an advantage for Hettie, who has the best accuracy of her team, to disable the cannons by eliminating Illusion!Darian.

❄️ Sonore and Jasmine (as backup) are the best strategists for their team.

❄️ Vitimir is the secret weapon for turning the tide of the battle, due to their quirky potion tricks. The Coven Heads were losing to the Titan’s Council, so the former needs to stop Vitimir from being distracted in order to win.

❄️ Berylis and Mason were responsible for constructing barriers, even around their teams’ bases.

❄️ Despite being a former Brewball (reminiscent of hockey) Captain, Berylis is terrified of Hettie, her distant cousin, on the battlefield.

❄️ Eberwolf is having as much fun as Darian. In other words, they take the battle a little too rowdy. Eber might sneak in insects inside the snowballs to frighten opponents.

❄️ Vitimir is just as experimental as Darian, and the final hours of the war will grow violent from there. No blood is spilled btw, but there were cases of itches.

❄️ The Coven Heads won this snowball war: Vitimir and, for once and was forced too, Adrian worked together to defeat the latter’s “one-illusionist-army” brother.

[1ddiscourseoftheday]

Thurs 15 April ‘21

A proper OT5 day today, how are we doing? Well, #stressed, apparently, LOL! Oh darlings, don’t worry...

First up, Liam finished his Prince Phillip drawing and captioned it “rest in peace… small tribute to you and your service,” sighhh. As Louis put it “boss drawing and that but get your priorities straight”, I truly couldn’t have put it better! I mean Louis may not have been referring to his politics, he was following up a tweet demanding Liam’s attention (“I see you on Instagram lad, answer your phone!!!!!”), but still he hit the nail on the head. Anyway, maybe Louis wanted to chat to weigh in on Liam’s haircut! (‘WTF mate I thought we were growing it out YOU LOSE’, perhaps?) Yes, Liam’s lion mane got a shearing; he posted a picture looking handsome showing the change, and #jesusLiam trended in memory of the lost hair as fans mourned dramatically. Also there’s a little behind the scenes video of Liam making his BAFTAs performance avatar (last glimpse of the long hair, RIP)-- no footage of him making funny faces but it does feature the very tight suit and the even tighter mo-cap outfit.

And what else is Louis up to? Well he came back to say that yes, he did talk to Liam, and to ask, “how’s everyone doing?” Just saying it wasn’t enough, fans trended the answer for him; STRESSED. We’ll be all right, said Louis, “Faith in the future. Keep your head up.” Faith in the future again!! Nice. We hear you sir and are looking forward to knowing what this is the title of… Also, a geotagged photo of him that wasn’t meant to be shared, was; it shows that Louis flew into LA the other day after leaving Mexico (it’s him at LAX in the outfit he left Mexico in-- look at that hair!! FLIP FLIP FLIP.) Is he still in LA, no way of knowing, so even if the pic wasn’t supposed to go out at least there was a delay and his location remains unknown, as he likes it, though he doesn’t seem to be home to London yet. For some reason people are really stuck on the idea that Sergio (his new footie bestie) said he was going back to London but even aside from the fact that I doubt they got that deep into itineraries, I’m pretty sure he actually just said that when Louis was back in London they’d meet up; not the same thing.

Assuming Louis is still in LA that’ll be convenient for him to go punch Nick Kroll if he wants! Nick said that during DWD filming Harry fell in love with him and they ‘made an omlette’ together... oh wait, no need, he just said they literally made some eggs and fake meat and ate it one night (and obvs that he was joking about their love, but it can for sure be hard to tell Harry’s supposed love affairs from jokes, I get it if you were confused.) He also said Harry is “very good at making everyone around him feel very comfortable. He's just very grounded.” Gucci is having some kind of online fashion opening today and there was a rumor Harry would attend which, yeah, sounds legit, and there’s a Harry puzzle in a Gucci puzzle book. First clue to the Harry Styles Puzzle, “a fictitious narrative.” Timely! Yes indeed, he and Olivia “were spotted together” in London last night, oooh my the scrambling to try and come back from those legal documents is really ON! Really though, WERE THEY? The tabs claim to have interviewed multiple people who were dining there and saw them. Reaaally, okay tell me- how did this come about? Were these people so excited to see a celeb that they called the papers… but none of them took a single picture or posted to their social media about seeing them?! Pics or it didn’t happen guys, COME ON: this is very much in keeping with how unbelievably half-assed they’ve been from day one but still, pretty pathetic attempt. Then rumors went around that Harry was actually out with GEMMA which would be hilarious, but seems more likely to me that no one was actually out anywhere at all.

The To Begin Again video is out! It’s pretty and tearjerk-y and it’s got sweet laughing Zayn content, good times!! It’s mostly sweeping shots of New York City and people there, living and laughing and being quirky and stuff, big humans of NY vibe, and Ingrid and Zayn in their studios happily making music. Zayn’s studio of choice (in Pennsylvania) celebrated their star turn by posting a pic of a signed guitar Zayn gave them back when he recorded Icarus Falls there. The TBA video director says, “we filmed this video in one day- sunrise to sunset.” TBA merch is on sale today in Ingrid’s store.

And there were lots of pap pics of Niall and Anne Marie filming their video (which is not out yet) in Essex. Seems they were FILMING it on the 8th, the day of Niall’s “it’s happening” post. So what’s HAPPENING is not the actual release of it, just yet, okay then. When will it come out? Who knows! We’ll be able to tell though, Niall will come back online for non-golf posting when the time is nigh, you’ll see. Meanwhile, pics of Niall out at a pub with his friends (outdoors) last night were posted, because that’s a thing that happens when celebs go out for public outings and lots of people see them.

[kerie-prince]

scent of theirs

Draco Malfoy x Non-Binary!reader (fluff)

requested: (anon) Hello! Could I request Draco x Non-binary Y/n they were childhood friends but Draco stopped talking to them because they were sorted into Hufflepuff and then in their 6th year Slughorn makes the Amortentia and they smell each other and Draco is scared because he doesn’t think y/n would want him?

summary: Your lifelong best friend didn't take your sorting too well in your first year of Hogwarts. It saddened you, but you learned to move on. Only thing is, you actually haven't. And neither did he.

a/n: i hope this turned out well! i did lot's of research on what it means to identify as non-binary so if it's wrong, let me know so i can re-write it!

(gif not mine; creds to owner)

You’ve been through many things growing up; at age 5, your father passed away due to a blood curse. At age 9, you broke your right arm from a fight with a boy twice your size and surprisingly won. And at age 11, a few months before your first day at Hogwarts, you realized that you didn't identify with the societal norm of just one gender. During all these events, there's been one person by your side: Draco Malfoy.

Draco’s been your best friend since birth. Your families are some of the oldest pureblood wizards and companionship had joined the families for generations. At one point, you actually believed that the Malfoy’s were your own blood relatives, but unfortunately they’re not. Didn’t matter, you still called his parents ‘Auntie and Uncle’.

Your best friend was running down to your house, Dobby straight on his tail yelling, “Young Master, wait for me!” The young boy ran up to the door and knocked with high energy, not stopping until someone opened the door. “Hello Master Draco-” your housemaid was cut short as he ran past her and ran straight to your room. Looking inside, you weren't there. His next best guess was in the greenhouse. He ran in and saw you watering the mandrakes. “Y/N! I got my letter!” Draco waved the parchment around excitedly. “Where’s yours?”

You had a disappointed look on your face. He mirrored the same look until you started laughing. You pulled out your letter from the pocket of your jeans with a smile. ‘Don’t joke like that again,” Draco scolded. Later that week, his parents took you two to Diagon Alley shopping for supplies. The entire time, Draco talked about how excited he was for the both of you to start your educations and most importantly, be sorted into Slytherin together.

When the hat placed on your head announced ‘Hufflepuff’, he felt strange. But in his mind, the one who was strange was you. From then on, he stopped talking to you while you were at school. During breaks, he’d put on his best act in front of your families but behind closed doors, he reminded you of how he thought of your house; weak and pathetic.

Now, in sixth year, you two had completely cut ties. Your families still enjoyed each other's companies, though. You walked the hallways with your best friends Justin, Ernie and Hannah. “How do you suppose this new professor is?” Ernie asked. From what you saw at the first feast of the year, Slughorn looked somewhat quirky. Of course, no one could beat Trelawney. “Hopefully, he’s nice,” you said.

An arm bumped against yours in the hallways. Even though they bumped into you, you were the one to say ‘sorry’. A familiar voice, now deeper, scoffed at you. “Watch where you’re going, idiot.” Draco looked at you with hateful eyes. He kept walking with his crew of followers.

It hurt you that the person you grew up with became a stranger through the years. And what hurt the most was that even though he stopped being your friend, your love for him never ceased. He never bullied you nor misgendered you. It was a small indication that he still cared for you.

As you and your friends took your seats, you waited for Professor Slughorn to start his lesson. Everyone stared as Harry and Ron came into class late and you stifled a laugh when they were seen fighting for a book. “Now, class, can anyone tell me these concoctions I have on this table?” Half of the class had their hands raised. “Ah, Miss/Mr. Y/L/N-”

“It’s just Y/L/N,” you and Draco stated at the same time. You looked into his light blue eyes. He didn’t meet yours. Slughorn looked at the papers in his hand that had the list of students and surely enough was a mark next to your name to just call you by your last name per your request. “Yes, terribly sorry. Can you tell me what this potion is called?”

The pink mist in the air was recognizable. “That would be Amortentia.”

“Very good. Would you explain to the classroom what it does?” Slughorn asked.

You stepped closer to the table, “This is one of the most powerful potions to date. Specifically, it’s a love potion. It takes the scent of the person you desire. When given to a person, they fall in love with the first person they see.”

“That is correct, thank you Y/L/N.” You went back to your friends as he dismissed you, “Today, we will be making Amortentia and you will record what, or in better words who you smell. Once I’ve seen that you’ve properly brewed the potion, you will start a paper on the dangers of using this potion incorrectly which will be turned in at the end of this week in my office. You may begin now.”

At your table, your friends decided to turn it into a group effort; one will gather all the ingredients and one will read the instructions out loud as you all worked with your own cauldrons. You volunteered to gather the ingredients. In the back of the class, you reached for a glass jar. A pale hand also reached for the same jar and brushed his hands with yours.

Draco looked at you with the signature scowl, “Get your own, Y/L/N.” He grabbed the one you had your eyes on and turned away.

“Thank you,” you whispered. Draco stopped in his tracks at your words. “For what?” he asked as he looked over his shoulder. “For… that. Earlier in class,” you reminded him.

He looked forward, straightened his back and replied, “It’s nothing.” When he left, you felt something within you. Sadness, yes. But a little flutter in your chest. You were able to find another jar and headed back to your table with your housemates. It was quite surprising how easy it was to make Amortentia. “You’d think that for something that’s so powerful, it would be difficult to make,” Hannah pondered once she finished her potion.

“Alright, what do you guys smell?” Justin asked.

“I smell,” Hannah started, “gardening pots, flowers, and shampoo.” Justin, Ernie and you all looked at each other and smirked as you looked at Neville across the room. “Wonder who that could be,” Ernie teased. “Shut it. Who’s next?” Justin nor Ernie wanted to go. Ernie insisted that he didn’t smell anything from his. “Maybe I made it wrong,” he used as an excuse. “No, because we all made it the same way so it should be right,” Hannah pressed on.

“Fine, I’ll go,” you declared. You nervously took in the scent from your cauldron, not knowing who you would smell. Or maybe you did but didn't want to admit it to yourself. “I smell men's cologne, apples, and fresh toothpaste.” You knew instantly who it was. Without knowing, Draco had heard you from his table. His eyes bore into yours and you couldn't tell what he was thinking.

From behind you, Slughorn surprised you as he looked into your cauldron. “These are brewed beautifully, good work. You may be excused or if you’d like, you can start your papers in class.” With that, you grabbed your things and walked out the class ignoring the questions from your friends.

You made a straight line into Myrtle’s bathroom knowing no one comes in here. Her cries were drowned out as you stood over the sink. You potentially confessed out loud about your feelings for Draco for everyone. All you could do was hope that no one picked up on it. But the look on his face was confirmation enough that he knew.

The bathroom door was heard opening and you panicked. You could've sworn no one comes here. Here you thought you could just bask in embarrassment alone.

A silhouette came closer to you in the poorly lit bathroom until it became clear who it was. “Draco, what are you doing here?”

“Can we talk?” He asked gently. “Why? So you can make fun of me? Just get it over with and go back to your friends so you can laugh at me all you'd like.”

“Will you just shut up and listen to me?” Draco didn't try to hide his annoyance. “In class, who did you smell in the potion?”

“What, now you want me to say it? Was me saying out loud for the whole class to hear not enough for you?” You kept jabbing at him as you tried to hold your tears. “I’m not really in the mood for this, Draco. I’d like to be left alone.” He sighed deeply and rubbed his forehead. You didn't understand why he was annoyed. You half expected him to have laughed at you even though he’s never actually done that in the past few years.

Draco cleared his throat and walked closer to you. “Do you want to know what I smelled?” His gaze was soft and voice low. You stood frozen before him before you scoffed with your arms crossed, “You gonna describe Parkinson to me?”

“I smelled roses, cinnamon, and chocolate,” Draco’s gaze never faltered from you. Without noticing, he stood inches from you. The words clicked in your head when you heard he named three of your favorite things.

“Is that supposed to mean something to me?” You uttered. He took one of your hands in his and rubbed it gently. “Before I heard you, that’s what I smelled. You were who I smelled in that Amortentia. Not Pansy, not anyone else. And when I did, I never thought that you would feel the same. I thought that after the way I’ve treated you, you had forgotten all about me. I’m sorry for acting the way I did when you got sorted into Hufflepuff.” His confession shocked you to say the least.

A tear fell down on your cheek. What do I say to this? you thought to yourself. Before thinking, your mouth spoke for you, “I forgive you.” Deep down, you meant it. Your reply made Draco smile before he pulled you in for a hug. “And one more thing,” he said. He pulled away just enough to look at you without letting go, “Would you be my… my partner?”

Your heart skipped a beat from his proposal. Everything was happening quickly and your mind was going on overdrive as your stomach had been filled with butterflies. Just an hour ago, you two were strangers who didn't look eye-to-eye anymore. But now, Draco was asking you to be his partner. Inside, you knew the answer. It was clear.

“Yes,” you accepted. Not even seconds later, he kissed you with passion. His lips were just as soft as you imagined. And he thought the same of yours. Years of being estranged to each other all ended that day as your newfound partner walked outside into the hallways with you beside him.

His partner. It has a nice ring to it.

—

requests are open!

[faebriel]

ok ok I'm insane and couldn't pick one so have two (no need to answer both if you don't want to)

“You talk to him.” Not kindly, but he does.

“I’m used to him,” he shoots back. “I’m the only person who is.”

That makes Niki feel something, some uncomfortable tug in her chest. She mentally kicks herself. It’s not jealousy, she reminds herself, because despite the near-cliff jumping and the long nights without food and the nuclear fallout that has punctuated her last few months, being jealous of Tommy would be the least reasonable thing she’s allowed herself to be, maybe ever.

“You don’t believe me,” Tommy says flatly. “You never - eugh.” He cuts himself off with another ragged sigh, running a hand down his face. “Look, Niki, it’s - we were all together in Pogtopia, right? But I was there first. With him. And you didn’t see the start of it, it was horrible, and I’m glad no one else saw the beginning of it either but it was still just so shit and he kept saying all these terrible things about Tubbo and Fundy and you and,” he takes a shaky breath, “then, when I died, I saw him.”

Her breath catches in her throat.

Well, the voice in the back of her head whistles. If you were still wondering about all this afterlife bullshit, if you want to know where you’re going after your third life, here you go.

and

“You didn’t even - this isn’t about L’Manberg, Wilbur!” Niki shouts.

And then he stops, breathing hard, and he looks at Niki the same way he does whenever her voice is being drowned out in a crowd - the way he does when he wants to hear her, when he wants to know what she has to say.

“What else is there?” he asks.

Niki freezes. Stock still, unable to move, unable to breathe, ice threading its way through her gut, her chest, her shoulders, chilled down to the bone. With slow-dawning horror, she can feel hot tears welling up behind her eyes, sitting in her throat, threatening to spill over into a sob. She swallows - to keep her cool, to stay calm, to keep it together -

And then, something in her chest just snaps.

“You said you’d come back for me!” she cries, and her voice hitches on the lump of tears at the back of her throat and god, she sounds absolutely pathetic. Wilbur’s face softens immediately, which somehow just makes her feel even worse. “In Manberg. When Schlatt put me in prison, and you and Tommy were in Pogtopia, you said you’d break me out when it was safe. I waited for weeks , Wilbur. It was… it was horrible.”

“Niki…” a kaleidoscope of emotions flicker across his face, and he seems unsure which to settle on. “We got you out though, right? After the festival.”

“You looked for the button first,” she says quietly, and he stills.

Her sniffling sounds embarrassingly loud against the quiet background of night.

thank you sm!!! i’m gonna put these under the cut because they got a little long sorry (tw for discussion of suicidal ideation)

to preface: tommy is kind of the accidental but incredibly necessary invisible support beam for niki and wilbur’s making amends in bitter. niki cannot accept wilbur’s actions and apology without first acknowledging her own actions and making steps towards an apology, because otherwise it kind of falls flat? in that ending scene niki finally gets what wilbur is feeling and wilbur finally gets that someone else knows how he feels (it’s not perfect 100% yet, but…. that’ll get explored later)

onto the actual snippet! “tommy talks to wilbur - not kindly, but he does” was very important to me! tommy has stuck by wilbur ever since pogtopia, but the tragedy is that he is not equipped to deal with wilbur’s issues, and it shows. wilbur’s first stream after revival depicts this really clearly, where tommy tails wilbur around the whole time but insults him, is still stuck on calling him the villain, physically fights him at some point, etc. on one hand this isn’t healthy but on the other hand tommy is actually around, which is more than can be said for basically any other ally wilbur has had on the dsmp, maybe excluding his dad, who literally killed him lmfao.

this whole issue is exacerbated by the fact that tommy believes that he is the only person who properly understands wilbur, the only person who gets what happened to him, and feels like wilbur is generally his burden to bear. he failed to stop wilbur from both 1. hurting other people and 2. killing himself after the pogtopia-manberg war - and he doesn’t trust wilbur not to do either of those things again, so he’s stuck hovering around wilbur while wilbur is inadvertently setting off his own trauma and feeling responsible for any way he might fuck up and hating that but not wanting to leave. tommy’s memory isn’t perfect and he isn’t a perfect narrator, what he remembers from pogtopia the most were the scariest parts and that’s understandable but it means he’s holding wilbur to the worst expectations of behaviour (and he does so very vocally). the others showed up later, sure, but in tommy’s eyes he’s the only one who saw wilbur’s descent, and by the time they showed up wilbur had already changed irreversably. tommy tries to rationalise this by splitting the ‘different wilburs’ apart from each other in his head (he does this in canon too - there’s one quote from like late 2020 where he says he and tubbo need to keep on going for who wilbur used to be, not who he became, even though they’re,, the same person), and no one challenges that perspective, so he just keeps doing it even though it’s not healthy for him or wilbur.

and then limbo happened and, oh geez, THAT didn’t help jhfaskjjfsa

tommy is on a bit of a knife edge with niki in this fic. niki’s in this state of “ok, he’s annoying whatever, i’m moving on”, but all tommy knows is that she tried to kill him that one time, disappeared off the face of the map, joined a book club with two people who definitely do not like him, and now is just acting weirdly mellow and polite. she is not someone he wants near wilbur bc what the fuck is she gonna do? what is he gonna do? who knows. he’s frustrated that niki doesn’t seem to acknowledge how he’s feeling (especially bc once upon a time she would have been someone he trusted to acknowledge them - they were friends, they fought together) and he’s taking a big step by telling someone about his concerns here, especially bc tommy doesn’t really like talking about them at all. he wouldn’t be saying absolutely anything to niki if he didn’t truly believe she should stay away from wilbur, even if he’s wrong about him. (sometimes i think i write tommy as a little too emotionally mature here but it all goes out the window when wilbur’s brought up. idk if that balances it out)

ok onto niki: this is the first she has actually heard of limbo! she’s only just come around to the fact that resurrection is possible at all. death is kind of a touchy subject for niki both in general and re: wilbur in the fic - she’s coming off of a period in her life where suicidal ideation was, uh, a big thing (whether you want to read that into canon or not is subjective, that’s just the angle i went with in this fic). the sudden existence of a life after death, miserable as it is - and whether she really believes in such a place, when it only exists in tommy and wilbur’s words - that is a lot of information for her to absorb all at once. death is a weird connection point for tommy and niki here, coming right off of the fact that they’ve just acknowledged each other having those problems - tommy, out of, yknow, altruism, would very much like to keep niki out of that place, and niki is quietly reckoning with the fact that that is where she would have sent him. the concept of limbo from the perspective of a character with no experience of it, even secondhand, is so interesting to me like what kind of eldritch location would you feel like you’re living in asghjkl

(also - i gotta be honest the jealousy angle here but mostly when she’s talking later about dream not deserving wilbur’s companionship kinda came out after this post came across my dash while writing. whoops /j)

-

fun fact, this is the very first snippet of bitter that i ever wrote! all the way back in may!! this is like the moment of the fic - it's where the miscommunication that niki and wilbur have been having is shattered entirely - and so sticking the landing was uhhh kinda important to me lol.

wilbur's entire being in this fic is basically consumed by L'Manberg - he equates his self worth to it entirely. in his eyes, everyone (rightfully) hates him because of what he did to L'Manberg, because L'Manberg was corrupted and he himself with it, etc. niki tries to tell herself this, and while it definitely does form part of her issues with him, it was the betrayal that causes her this much pain - that he seemingly brushed her and their friendship off entirely when he supposedly left her for dead in manberg. because here is what we as the audience know: wilbur couldn’t leave niki in trouble when he heard her life was in danger, even when he was trying to find the button (pretty much the only thing he sees himself as having left at this point) and so he returned. here is what it looks like from niki’s perspective: wilbur told her to wait in manberg until it was safe to come to pogtopia, laid the place with TNT, went to blow up the place, and only returned when he couldn’t find the detonator (and then the first thing she saw him do in pogtopia was encourage the pit behaviour but that’s not what we’re talking about asdfgh). that is massive miscommunication and it’s been brewing between them for months - to make a quirky little reference to the title, niki has been carrying that anger with her so long it's gone bitter. it was never just about l’manberg with niki - not that anger, not her and wilbur’s friendship (hence the little flashback earlier in the fic, bc niki’s relationship to anarchism and statehood or statelessness juxtaposed with her friendships with wilbur and eret - she loves l’manberg bc she loves wilbur, but she loves eret too and those national ties don’t undermine that - is Real Interesting to me) - so when wilbur asks what else there could possibly be (because in his mind, what else could she have bothered staying around for?), she just fucking breaks.

“Niki freezes. Stock still, unable to move, unable to breathe, ice threading its way through her gut...with slow-dawning horror, she can feel hot tears welling up behind her eyes” - prose discussion time! heat and cold are two big throughlines in this fic - particularly for niki, cold is what she is. admittedly when i started with it i mostly wanted to subvert hot = angry and cold = dead but i kinda ended up enjoying this take on it for what it is instead of just as a subversion (also i like the idea of revived people running hot, their bodies r working hard to keep em going). she’s holding onto her feelings and refusing to deal with them, she’s frozen over. descriptions of cold are key to niki’s mental state throughout the fic - cold weight on her chest, feelings of frostbite when she and wilbur hug the first time, ice cold water during the dinner scene, waking up in the cold flat, etc. this was an attempt at describing a more visceral feeling of like, when you’re really mad and you can just feel the adrenaline running through your veins. always felt more cold than hot to me. when she starts to cry, the facade she’s been putting on is finally thawing out and cracking the ice she’s buried her feelings under. (also gives an excuse to write warm comforting hugs towards the end /hj). it’s a loss, it’s catharsis, it’s a whole mess.

and ofc this is all news to wilbur and he feels terrible, because as unintentional as it was, he really really hurt her - because the destruction of l’manberg fucking sucked but above all else wilbur hurt the people he loved because they loved him so much and not in spite of it, because they cared about him so deeply and his death was a massive blow to them. this hasn’t even dawned on him, because how could it? he respects deeply niki (lowkey respects her opinion more than his own at this point) so he has to listen, because it’s niki (“and he looks at Niki the same way he does whenever her voice is being drowned out in a crowd - the way he does when he wants to hear her, when he wants to know what she has to say” - because he does), and what she says fucking floors him. in his eyes, he failed her by putting her in danger and then by destroying her home - the idea that she valued him and their friendship so much flies entirely over his head until this moment, and he is forced to re-evaluate the mindset that has motivated him since… basically since pogtopia! the way i write wilbur is like… yes, he’s one of niki’s closest friends and he’s more aware of her insecurities and issues than most (which is why he does always take the time to listen to her, etc) but he does over-idealise her a bit. tbf, i think he does to some extent with everyone (calling tubbo strong on the anniversary stream, for example). also the fact that he really wasn’t around for niki’s lowest moments as a character! he still thinks of her the way she was in l’manberg - confident, steadfast, respected - and this moment shatters that for him as he realises exactly what effect he and his death had on her and everyone else, not just by his actions, but because they loved him and cared for him so deeply.

sorry that this got horrifically long!! and thank you so much for sending snippets in <3333

[silverandarsenic-hcs]

Ghost Slander

I know I’ve done this before sorta but this is the Finial List of all the shit that’s really just bad about them. the first half of each is serious bad stuff and the second half is just silly annoying shit they do. I am not apologizing for this so that’s that on that. I also still love them anyways.

Papa I:  too old to do anything. he may be strong and smart, but he’s old, and tired, and gets grumpy when he’s tired. and when he’s grumpy hes a fucking asshole. he really doesn’t want to do anything, like go out for a fun day in the city, or try new things. can’t teach an old dog ne w tricks, and he doesn’t even try tricks he’s known about for forty years. He can be boring, and he can be punchy and shitty when he’s annoying (I don’t mean like punchy as in hitting, just you know when you were grumpy as a kid and you get really irritated and annoyed and kind of just wanna have a hissy fit and cant control it???? that.)

Papa II:  Super emotionally unavailable and it just becomes taxing to try and get him to open up unless he’s ready and willing - which, spoiler alert, will never happen. He really does have a shitty temper and when he gets angry he sees red. Refuses to delegate tasks to other people around him because he thinks no one else can do it right. When he does, no matter what they do it’s never good enough and he makes all his interns cry and/or quit. for fun: he gets the “man flu” in which he will not take medication or go to the doctor until he literally has muscle dystrophy. thinks Advil or Tylenol is some hippy bullshit brainwashing pill invented by liberals that are trying to trick him into being happy. conspiracy theories. thinks aliens built the pyramids. watches ancient aliens in his spare time and never shuts up about it. Unable to use technology, and falls asleep in “special chair” at home. 

Papa III: cant take no for an answer. he doesn't understand when someone refuses his advances because all of the girls in the clergy falling all over him his whole life has made his head a little too big. if you want major fucking ego, he’s the brother for you. if you don’t want flowers, and you don’t want random extravagant things, he’s not the brother for you, because if you tell him you don’t like the things he’ll assume you hate him and decide that you shouldn’t be together anymore. sure, it comes from a place of caring and wanting to spoil his s/o, but fuck, bro, tone it down. He’ll also talk at you for hours even if you’re not listening just because he loves the sound of his own voice. It doesn’t matter if you’re trying to do something else, or are tired, or you just don’t care, he’ll stop talking when he’s ready and only then. For fun:  at a kids soccer game he would be That Dad that screams at the other kids like hes the assistant coach and probably be drunk and fist fight the other drunk dads in their lawn chairs. makes his s/o wax his back before they go to the beach or anywhere he has to be shirtless. its gross and hairy and he wouldn't care if his s/o didn’t bully his persian-rug body into it so hard one time he canceled a vacation. 

Copia: He has no back bone. He’ll work until people give him what wants but he’ll never come right out and say it, in any kind of relationship or work. You’ll constantly be guessing whether or not what he said has a second meaning and if it’s really want he wants or he’s been waiting for you to figure it out the whole time. It’s fucking annoying. He’ll never be the one to put his foot down, or silence a room, or command attention like the other papa’s have, he just doesn’t have it in him. For fun: Calls his stomach his “spare tire” like what the fuck who says that?? Talks to everyone, you literally have to drag him away from talking to strangers. The person next to him at the cafe has their headphones in and he’s just chatting away. Small talk but just gets worse, and he subjects everyone to it.  rides one of those bikes where you're basically lying down and doesn't shut the fuck up about how low impact it is on your back and knees. thinks the government is out to get him and everyone else but doesn't put two and two together and still has a google home thing or an alexa, buys that facebook skype camera thing for your tv that literally follows you when he walks. he just thinks their neat.

Dewdrop: Has a hot temper and genuinely gets mean when he lashes out. He doesn’t care that everyone has to chase after him all the time and has no remorse for what they have to do for him or what he ruins for them. He’s gonna do whatever he want’s whenever he wants and no one can tell him otherwise - everyone thinks this is so fun and quirky and great until it’s been a few months and they’re wondering why Dew hasn’t calmed down even a little. He’s too self obsessed to even care what other people want for him. A total mess wherever he goes, eats all the soap and candles and doesn’t replace them. 

Swiss:  saying someone is too good at everything doesn't sound like an insult, but it does when they brag about it. Swiss has always been the multi ghoul, meaning hes always been pretty good at everything, but never specialized in something. so rather than do more to hide the fact he’s a jack of all trades but master of none, he just brags about every tiny little thing he does. hes like 6′ but his ego is like 8′4″. Insanely jealous in relationships which can cause problems. he’s a liar. there. i said it. unless he’s your s/o, if his mouth is moving, it’s probably a lie. whether hes bigging up his own adventures, or trying to cover his tracks about where he was and who he was with, its probably all bullshit. the only reason he doesn’t lie to his partners is because he HATES being lied to in return and if he has feelings for you its a little harder to just shut you out once you realize he’s full of it. He mostly lies for fun, and partly just to see what people will really believe, so it get’s wilder and wilder every time. Refuses to do anything that’s boring to him like clean or do laundry, but he hates disgusting messes so he’ll just pay someone else to do it. 

Mountain: Disgustingly messy. When I walk into a room i leave a hurricane of my shit everywhere, but if you took an actual hurricane and put it in his bedroom, you wouldn’t be able to tell the difference. No one in the whole church will go near his room, partly for the smell, partly for the fact of that there is no where to stand that isn’t a foot high with garbage and dirty clothes. If he cleaned his room i think a new disease would be unlocked. Super stubborn, and inpatient. He’s pretty chill, but refuses to wait for anything without getting super annoyed, and it’s impossible to change his mind about literally anything once it’s made up. Trying to debate him about anything is a fucking nightmare. 

Aether:  when you’ve been together for a while, and you’re comfortable with each other, things can get boring. he’ll stop taking you on dates every week, and stop thanking you profusely for everything you do, and stop treating you like a queen. things will get stale quickly, so unless you’re into routine, steer fucking clear or you're doomed.  when he’s in a shitty mood, he will say literally anything to you to get you away from him. he just wants to be left alone and if you wont let that happen he’ll break up with you, tell you to fuck off, tell you to get away from him, tell you to go fuck yourself, whatever it takes. he doesn’t mean it, and even if he knows that deep down, you’re still causing the problem by existing, in his mind. refuses to accept that there may be a different way to do things. it’s Aether’s way or the highway and that's it. he thinks that if somethings easier, or faster than the way he does it, then it’s not being done right, and it’s fucking annoying how he wastes so much time doing stupid simple tasks because its the way he was taught and its the way he’ll do them until he dies

Rain: A baby. An actual baby. Needy and clingy and even a little bit pathetic sometimes. Here and there it can be cute and you might feel the need to nurture him, but honestly most people can’t handle it all the time but for Aether. He constantly needs attention in the exact way he wants and if he doesn’t get it he’ll whine and cry and try and make you feel like shit. Maybe it’s manipulation, maybe it’s not. Who knows. But you have to make sure he eats properly, make sure he gets dressed properly, make sure he sleeps, pretty much be a parent to him half the time. The amount of emotional labor is borderline slavery. His attitude is insane, and he’s sassy and bossy all the time as if he’s actually in control, and if you tell him otherwise he’ll scream (at the top of his lungs). Uses baby talk at an inappropriate timing and makes people uncomfortable  sometimes.

Cumulus: Collects tiny little themed knick knacks that are literally everywhere and take up all the space in her and Cirrus’ little sapphic cottage. Nosey and wants to know everyone’s business all the time. The only person she tells is Cirrus but she won’t rest unless she knows every detail about a persons life and drama.

Cirrus: Leaves all the lights on wherever she goes. Leaves all the cupboards open. All the lights are on so much that it lights up the whole house all night, and people call them to tell them to either close their blinds or turn the fucking lights off.

[bluefire94]

Why Upgrade's Removal in the Ben 10 Reboot Bothered Me:

Time to get something off my chest more. Hopefully no one thinks I'm pathetic for what I'm about to share.

I will confess that I was hurt by how Upgrade was destroyed at the end of Omni-Tricked in the reboot. He's been my favorite alien since I watched the original series back in the day.

Most people don't seem upset to the extent I was, but it is nothing on them of course. No one is taking it personally like I did.

Why did you, you ask? I feel it's because it felt like a personal attack on me. Upgrade is my favorite not just because of his cool powers and design, but because I honestly see myself in him. I consider myself smart, having graduated college and gotten an IT certification, but I'm not an absolute genius to be like Grey Matter. I have trouble with math problems, and can't program to save my life.

Mechamorphs in general seem like friendly beings by virtue of their soft looking bodies and round eyes. I consider myself kind and helpful to others as I try to help out and support people however I can. 💙

Him being taken out with no remorse by the crew felt like me being told that quirky people like me are left behind in favor of the popular people. Shock Rock was instantly adored by Ben, and of course the rest of the aliens got to have their Omni-Enhaced forms that make them stronger. Meanwhile, Upgrade was gone without a care from Ben. It's not like when Feedback got destroyed in Omniverse and sent Ben into a PTSD bitterness, and ultimately got to return. Of course I know Glitch is technically Upgrade, but to me it's just not the same, neither is Bootleg. In addition, none of the crew on the show seems inclined to bring him back.

I dwelled on the negative thoughts I had through assuming the worst, to the point I couldn't even think of the franchise without bitterness building up inside me. Do people really not like Upgrade anymore? Is he like me and always left behind? These were the thoughts I had.

Deep down, I feel I have issues with abandonment that stemmed from my parents divorce during my childhood, and thus have anxiety about being rejected for not being perfect.

Everything climaxed when I had a nightmare about the feelings I kept bottled up inside. It was vivid and felt like everyone was telling me no one loves me or cares about me. I woke up quite shaken, and knew I had to reach out as the pain was too much to hold.

Thankfully, I soon confided in users here on Tumblr and on a Discord server for the Ben 10 Subreddit. While no one was as bothered as me, they all told me that they still care about Upgrade and wish for him to return too. Much like how I will never be truly alone like anyone else. 💙

However, with season 5 set to premiere, I do fear a relapse if it comes and goes with still no return of Upgrade. Not to mention, I wonder if the reboot will be the last series in the franchise, as MOA is set to work on a new Sonic series and a Generator Rex reboot. Supposedly sequel shows are in the works, but Cartoon Network may decide to pull the plug on them. So if he doesn't come back now, at least as a form to rotate out like the others (example Wildvine), I fear he never will.

Thankfully I am not as bothered about it as I used to be, but I still feel I am not of the woods yet. Of course it's just a TV show, and moreso one I don't actively watch (although I have lurked on it), but I do want Upgrade to be around again for the reboot fans to admire, because he's awesome. 😊

While the deeper problem with abandonment is something I need to work on with a therapist (which I am doing so), I feel this venting is a good step in the right direction. Not to mention, opening up to others is what caused my rediscovery of the franchise and formation with new friends online, which have been awesome. 😃

I share this story as a reminder to not take things personally and that you are always loved. I hope this story helps anyone else in the same boat, even if it's with a different character. 💙

[whocalledhimannux]

now that I’ve had some time to reflect on Return of the Thief, I have some more thoughts that are... slightly more critical, in both the thinking-deeply and not-entirely-praiseworthy ways. I’m not going to tag this post because I don’t want to harsh anyone’s buzz, but I’ll just say return of the thief spoilers and rott spoilers right now, and hopefully the blacklist will catch those, and if not the rest of the post is going under a cut

okay so like first off, I want to say that I still think this was a very well-written book and it’s very satisfying from a character standpoint. there are so many great interactions, indications of growth, etc, and the layered writing of the first person POV is, as always, stunning. my main character complaint is not enough Costis and Kamet (or Costis/Kamet)--but even that, upon reflection, I think is colored slightly by my anticipation for a blatant Comet moment. When you’re waiting for a big payoff, and the story isn’t designed to have that, it’ll feel like a bit of a letdown. But from a different perspective, the ending of TaT can be a perfectly satisfying narrative ending, establishing that Costis and Kamet’s storylines are now thoroughly and primarily wrapped up in each other; their contributions to the wider plot from thereon out are mostly incidental, because sailing off to be together is their bigger ending.

side note: a character development I actually loved was us seeing Eugenides teetering dangerously close to a breaking point and being pulled back. I think...... from what I have seen of the fandom in general--bearing in mind I was never a part of Sounis and have dipped in and out of the discord without being majorly involved--based on my general impression of the tumblr fandom, I think there is a tendency among QT fans to let the Thief characterization of Gen affect our reading of him in later books. I think there’s sort of an assumption that he’s everybody’s favorite and that his choices are, by default, correct and sympathetic, even as the series progresses and he makes more, increasingly difficult and sometimes pragmatic or even cruel decisions. and I think RotT really, really challenges that kind of view. Eugenides is under immense strain in this book, and several times he lashes out in ways that are indefensible. Sometimes, even if he’s not being cruel to others, he’s being risky to the point of masochism, and the revelations about his backstory also suggest that quirky innocent Gen of The Thief is also not all he seemed to be.

and I think that was resolved in a very enjoyable and narratively satisfying way. The threats to the Braels had a real edge to them. God!Eugenides was terrifying, in a noticeable step up from the ways regular!Eugenides is terrifying, and it felt like payoff for the increasing role of the gods in Eugenides’s storyline up until now. And I really appreciated the subtleties of Sejanus saying that he won’t tell Eugenides the conspirators because it will damage him in the longrun, and the way Eugenides ultimately decides to forgive and trust Pheris and Sejanus anyway--those scenes, imo, were great followups to the scenes in QoA, KoA, and ACoK that discussed how rulers can maintain their moral center in difficult situations.

but... the Medes. plot-wise, I’m struggling with the conclusion to this storyline.

I made a different post already about What the Fuck is going on with the secretary of the archives, because it totally feels like shit is missing there, and to some extent I’m okay with that? it felt to me like a stylistic choice--like, Pheris the historian is writing specifically about the Mede invasion, so maybe the full story of Baron Orutus, and Relius, wasn’t actually resolved til years later and he thought it was an overlapping but ultimately separate story. fine. I actually did kind of like the parts where that was done more blatantly, like his comment that two of the queen’s attendants became famous later on for unrelated reasons. it helped with the framing of the story.

but I don’t feel that way about the Medes plot. For one thing, we’ve spent a couple of books now harping on the fact that Ghusnavidas (sp? I’m tired and my book is too far away to check, y’all know who I mean) is dying and that the primary threat is going to come from Nahuseresh’s brother, Naheelid. Costis made a point of saying last book that if the Little Peninsula could hold out for a year against Naheelid, not only would they win but the entire empire might be in danger of collapsing.

So... they spent ~a few months fighting a single army at a single battle site, with the Big Threat Guy not even present, and that’s it? everybody goes home and the Medes aren’t a threat anymore? it’s not even clear to me how many troops the Medes lost--their principal losses were in the form of Bu-seneth, Nahuseresh, and Baron Erondites, who, yeah, were key officers, but if the Medes lost, saying, 30% of their troops or less, what’s to stop Naheelid from hiring more soldiers and better officers and coming back in a year? it totally makes sense to me that an army that saw Eugenides call down lightning is willing to pack it up early, but inevitably that’s going to be dismissed as rumor and distortion so idk how it’s supposed to be a lasting deterrent. it may not be super realistic, because the downfall of empires takes time, but I think a bunch of us were expecting that the Mede Empire would, at the very least, but conclusively beaten by the end of the book, and I don’t think we got that.

Also, speaking of Big Bads: Nahuseresh. Oof.

I know part of the point of TaT was that Nahuseresh’s situation was becoming kind of sad and pathetic but... I think he went downhill too quickly in this book. and tbh I think part of it is the fact that we’re getting this from Pheris’s POV, and Pheris for one doesn’t have a whole lot of close contact with Nahuseresh in this book, and for another didn’t have any contact with him prior to this. His little “I will be king of Attolia!” outburst honestly made me cringe a little bit, and while I’m not entirely opposed to the idea of Nahuseresh being killed by an anonymous soldier--it has a very “reality ensues, war isn’t a series of epic meaningful confrontations” feel to it--I do object to the fact that Eugenides spent a significant amount of time in KoA and ACoK nursing a grudge against Nahuseresh and then barely got to do anything with it. and a lot of what he did get to do, the reader barely sees.

I think there were ways to make Nahuseresh’s actions in this novel a bit more satisfying without fundamentally changing them. for example, bringing in more commentary from people who knew him before. if there was a passage where Eugenides looked at Nahuseresh and realized that his beard was raggedy, and he looked thinner, and there was a manic light in his eye and he just seemed pretty pathetic and honestly more comical than the villain Gen’s been building up in his head for years--I think that would go a long way towards establishing tone. it would feel more like the anticlimax is intentional and be more about Eugenides’s own character growth, whereas now it just feel like... Pheris doesn’t have a whole lot of personal stake in this conflict even though the reader has been waiting for it for so long.

(although I do find it interesting on a narrative level in contrast with Sejanus, who seems disproportionately important in this book imo--from my perspective, the threat of Nahuseresh has been a constant behind-the-scenes presence for the last four books and Sejanus stopped being important after KoA. and I get why the opposite would be true for Pheris, but I still... want more.)

anyway, I just feel like the villains in this book are a little--warped, somehow. like the huge enormous threat of the series up until this point actually isn’t all that bad and can be wrapped up in relatively little time. it’s a weird sensation for me wherein I’m glad where everyone ended up and I enjoyed the experience of getting to that end, but like... it just feels a little off. slightly anticlimactic. I mean, for a lot of us this series is All About the characters and from that perspective I’m mostly satisfied, but I feel like in previous books the plot has come together SO well that my expectations were really high, and this resolution didn’t really meet them.

and damn does it feel strange to be writing this. feels like I just cobbled together a few of my hottest and most controversial takes and like I need to throw in about twenty more disclaimers about how much I love the books overall, but I’ll resist.

[alarriefantasy]

hi, my pet rabbit just died so i’ve been pretty down. i don’t cope well if this type of stuff; i bottle it up cause i’m uncomfortable talking about it with anyone. do you have any feel good happy fics. that’s just a lot of fluff and happiness please? thank you

Darling, I am sending you the biggest virtual hug I can!!!!! I know how it feels, I lost my dog last year who was 16, and it was the most devastating heartbreak I had felt in a long time. Our pets become our family, which means it’s equally hard to let them go.  

With that being said, there are great fluffy fics throughout all those sections below, even the VDay ones have none VDay stories that are just lots of fluff. But, I’ll add some more recent fluff fics below, too! I really hope this helps :) <3 

Domestic Fluff

First Time Fluff

Valentines Day Part 1   and Part 2

                                              Fluff Fic Rec

Stealing Flowers by lululawrence

Words: 4k

Or the one where Louis pines after the Sexy Stranger on the Subway and almost asks him out. That's when the strange posters start showing up around Brooklyn.

I think I'm falling (I'm falling for you) by Only_angel_28

Words: 6k

Louis is a disaster gay on a skateboard. Harry is a beautiful, quirky stranger on a bicycle. Their first encounter really makes a splash.

Yahoo! by musketrois (B_kate)

Words: 6k

I think I’m in love with my roommate???? Harry typed into the question box.

Oh, shit. Love? Did he love Louis? This question was already turning out different than he originally planned. He continued typing before delving into that thought process.

or Harry turns to the Internet for romantic advice.

I Wanna Bring You Home by AFangirlFantasy

Words: 7k

Or, an au where Louis pathetically pines over Harry, and Harry may or may not give him what he wants.

happiness comes in on tiptoe by scagnetism

Words: 9k

There is a supermodel standing at Louis’ door. He suddenly feels extremely insecure about his unwashed hair and clothes that have seen better days. He’s sure his mouth has fallen open, but there is a supermodel standing on his doorstep.

Or, the AU where Louis is new to the neighborhood and Harry is the angel living next door.

Home Is Wherever I'm With You by twoshipstiedup

Words: 10k

Louis attempts to meet a random hookup on an ordinary Wednesday night.

He goes home with Harry instead.

Featuring match making friends and the triumphant return of the flower crown.

You come in waves (we crash and we roll) by rainbowslovehl 

Words: 11k

Three times Louis makes a fool of himself in front of Harry and one time he doesn't.

Kiss From A Rose by lovelarry10

Words: 15k

Harry is the quiet one in the office no one ever notices. Until Louis does, that is. When notes start appearing on Harry’s desk, he ponders who is behind the kind words, oblivious to Louis’ attempts to get his attention...

You Are My Sunshine by lovelarry10

Words: 17k

Charlie is a happy little boy, he smiles and waves at everyone around him, making Louis the proudest dad. Charlie’s spark of personality and a well timed hello brings a stranger into his and Louis’ lives when they least expect it...

Absolutely Smitten by MyEnglishRose

Words: 20k

Or. Louis is walking his dog. Harry is walking his cat. Leashes get tangled, and feelings too.

The Goat Guy of Bethlehem by lululawrence

Words: 25k

Or every year, Harry and his family attend a church festival called Bethlehem. Harry's freshman year of high school Bethlehem expands, bringing in new vendors, including one that just might change everything for Harry. But first, he has to see if Anne and Robin are willing to part with him for the price of a few goats.

A Road To Something Better by taggiecb

Words: 25k

Louis Tomlinson, famous romance novelist, has just had the rug pulled out from under his feet when his boyfriend leaves him without notice. What's the most appropriate response to this? Move a thousand miles away and seclude himself in a tiny lake town, of course. But nothing is as he expects it to be in the very best way, especially not the handsome mayor of McAll, Idaho.

lavender dreams by larrystylinsonkink

Words: 77k

Louis is an outgoing person that goes to school for educational psychology and Harry is a biology major who happen to run into each other... a lot.

to lure a hummingbird (you had me moonstruck) by justlikelouis

Words: 81k

Or: An enemies-to-lovers fic where Harry and Louis are neighbours who are forced to get along due to the inconvenience (or convenience) of a broken elevator.

knock knock, i love you by beautlouis

Words: 86k

[Harry and Louis get kicked out of a statistics exam for passing a knock knock joke note, and subsequently fall in love. Harry's a virgin, there's a cat, a hot cocoa date, a lot of sex, even more knock knock jokes, and everything is lovely and happy.]

♡ credit to the owner of the manip

♡ past themed recs here

[borisbubbles]

25. PORTUGAL

Elisa - “Medo de sentir”

We’ve finally crossed over into the “I like this” territory :-) Let’s celebrate by booting another ballad ^_^

Song Analysis

This will be short and sweet though, since there isn’t much to say. “Medo de sentir” basically the Marie Myriam of its national final: It is a cromulent ballad that did nothing wrong and is solidly good, but not great in all the relevant areas (vocals, composition, staging). 

I mean,

Even so, Elisa gave me a few small nuggets that warmed me to her, serving DRAMAFACE in the FdC Semi

and LOOKS in the Finale: 

Peach puffy sleeves that rival Leonor Andrade’s legendary shoulder pads as a fashion statement <3 (honestly, this is pretty subdued for FdC fashion even? Hold on until I get talk about Felipe in the NF Corner) 

Honestly, you may wonder why I like this more than “Répondez-moi”, but I don’t really have a reason  - unless you’re willing to accept “Medo de sentir is underrated, is performed by a Weird Indie Girl and is from a criminally overlooked Eurovision country” as valid argumentations. Oh and while I only *very* mildly like Elisa, it is a decision I made myself, completely free of the social pressure I feel whenever Gjon, or heaven forbid, Roxen or Diodato, pop up. 

Furthermore, the fact that I still like Elisa even after she won her NF also speaks greatly in her favour. I’m not sure if you were aware of how good FdC was this year? Well, sit down because you are about to witness it!

NF Corner

Remember how old Eesti Laul’s neck was snapped and its corpse was urinated on by the shit Estonians? Remember how the quirky indie weirdo entries had to find a safe haven elsewhere in Europe? The Portugese hallmark traits of “Not Giving A Fuck”, “Doing Our Own Thing No Matter What” and “What Do You Mean This Isn’t A Vimeo Showreel?” allowed for Festival da Canção to absorb Eesti Laul’s broken spirit and channel it from every (Ley-La-)Ley-Line.

and since this is the first *GREAT* 2020 NF I am covering, I will do HONORABLE MENTIONS before I actually review my four choices :o

Dubio - “Ceguiera”: Hamburglar-looking goddess <3333

MEERA - “Copo de gin”: Pure EL-style EDM *and* it’s about drinking gin, needless to say this song is basically *my anthem*.  Jimmy P - “Abensonhado”: Rap rarely is my thing, let alone three minutes of it non-stop. Having said that, this is genuine and dramatic and Jimmy is flanked by a GOSPEL CHOIR (dressed in chasubles!!!) who support him in ENGLISH... I am not made of stone.  JJaZZ - “Agora”: Totally slept on this weird indie anthem, but then they showed up looking like this:

and yes, it was even funnier in motion (sadly gif’ing rights are reserved to the Elite 4 soz) Elisa Rodrigues - “Não voltes mais”: a jolly tropical ballad in a genre I recognize but cannot name (some sort of pimba fado jazz? Does this work?) and was incomprehensibly hated by the Portuguese? Will I ever understand how this country operates? Probably never. Kady - “Diz so”: another pimba fado jazz sort of thing? My friend André (who is from Brazil) tells me it’s actively parodying Brazillian counterculture and leftist stereotypes which is such a random quirk to put in a Portuguese music comp <3

And before we move on, I’ll chuck in a very speclal DISHONORABLE mention for our good friends Blasted Mechanism.😈 I actually forgot to do my jury duties for ESCUnited here, so I’ll just let James (the person with the best taste on our team, including yours truly) do it for me: 

Fucking *TRUTH*. “Rebellion’”s problem  has always been a lack of motherfucking balls. Sure, these middle-aged steampunkers attempt to implement a genre shift between indie rock and fucking ORCHESTRAL METAL/HIP HOP and make it so underwhelming and pathetic? People blame the live, and yes it was *bad* (forever cackling at “REBELGIUM” tho), but it was the studio that failed to deliver on the promises it made.  It always surprises me when people (Sean and Roy I AM coming for you) slam "Verona” for being a “fanwank” and then fall for a Rebellion which is basically a fanwank for heterosexual snobs. #ShotsFired. 

Now, as for the actual Boris faves, LET US START WITH A LIBERAL DOSE OF ASKEW CUBISM

Judas - “Cubismo Enviesado” 

VÊS OU NÃO?  VÊS OU NÃO?  VÊS OU NÃO?  VÊS OU NÃO?  VÊS OU NÃO?   

VÊS OU NÃO?  VÊS OU NÃO?  VÊS OU NÃO?  VÊS OU NÃO?  VÊS OU NÃO?  

VÊS OU NÃO?  VÊS OU NÃO?  VÊS OU NÃO?  VÊS OU NÃO?  VÊS OU NÃO?   

VÊS OU NÃO?  VÊS OU NÃO?  VÊS OU NÃO?  VÊS OU NÃO?  VÊS OU NÃO?  

 WHAT A FUCKING SPANDEX CATASTROPHE. “Cubismo enviesado” is a horrible song, the choreography looks like it had been conjured up during a particularly drunk night of bedroom karaoke and Judas can’t hold a tune for the life of him. The lyrics don’t even make sense in Portuguese <33333 It is an art school project gone disastrously wrong. NEEDLESS TO SAY, I AM OBSESSED.😍

Filipe Sambado - “Gerbera Amarelo do Sul”

That look

The regal panache

Those... leather shorts?

IT IS SO QUEER I LOVES IT. As with Cubismo, I am fucking OBSESSED. However, unlike Cubismo, “Gerbera amarela do sul” is *legitimately* great, lol. In addition to having a KICK-ASS fado rhythm and the off-the-charts visual components (the jewellery! the hats! the throne! the hand choreography!), the lyrics are highly intelligent poetry geared at dismantling upper class snobism.😍 Rare to find an entry that kicks ass on SO MANY levels. Even harder to see it lose to Elisa Myriam - but I’m not sad it lost because, you know, it would have befallen the same fate as a “Telemóveis”. At least his existence makes the memory-holing of Achille Lauro’s ICONIC Virgin Queen Cosplay so much easier to stomach. 

Throes & The Shine - “Movimiento”

I mean, entries that open like THIS: 

are instantly iconic, ngl. The best FdC entries offer a great triple of great looks, unplugged stubborn artistry and fun quirky rhythmes. Throes + The Shine pass this with flying colours and I mean, THOSE sunglasses alone yank up the laugh-out-laugh factor to astronomical levels. add in a hilarious choreography, sound effects that seemingly imitate duck mating noises and three very attractive men (in 2020! the concept!) and it’s an instant fave right there. 

AND THEN MADE THEIR ENTRY EVEN BETTER BY ADDING MIDNIGHT GOLD/JOWST EFFECTS TO THEIR STAGING. 😍😍😍😍

MANCHAS DE LAMA NA SUA PELE  

HEROES. 😍😍😍

and of course, this wouldn’t be a 2020 NF without an obvious runaway fave losing at the last minute: 

Bárbara Tinoco - “Passe-partout”

SHE IS TINY <3333:

She’s like a human bonsai... or a personal attack chincilla.

Okay, so Portugal were *THIS close* to out-France’ing the French with this sassy Zazballad, served with a generous dollop of parisian accordion and stank reaction shots.

Yet another entry that shamelessly uses an attractive man as a boytoy prop <333 For a brief moment, Bàrbara and Tiago establish themselves as a pair of lovestruck La La Land idiots, gearing themselves towards the EPIC moment where she will dump him... and then this happens before the first chorus:

Barbara opens up a can of dancer carbs and it completely fucks up her no-bullshit keto diet. 

Those dancers man. They aren’t a *bad* addition in itself, but if your thing is “romance ballad but *plot twist* it’s actually an end of romance ballad get lost loser” do not burn the clou within the first minute of the performance to a group of dancers who don’t even dance *along with the beat of your song*. UGH.

(and also, more devastatingly, the reduce tiaGOD’s airtime how dare they grrr)

Fortunately though, I have learned to appreciate the wrecktitude of it all because it caused one of the funniest downfall narratives in recent ESC history. The Portuguese were, of course, foaming at the mouth with all the decisions Bárbara had made (not even for the points I raised, necessarily?) and Bárbara was having none of it. It went kinda like this

Juries: EWWW DANCERS AND CHOREOGRAPHY YOU ARE RAPING YOUR OWN SONG YOU PHILISTINE WHORE. Bárbara: 

Juries: WOW WHAT *ARROGANCE*!! YOU THINK YOU CAN WIN BUT BOY DO WE HAVE NEWS FOR YOU :-) 

and lo hand behold, the finale rolls on and Tinoco’s dancers are still there, and are even *MORE* present than they were in the semi (but also in sync with the beat) and Bárbara gets promptly jurydunked into third place. 😍 Even though she has the *ONLY* song in FdC that could have qualified in its semifinal. 😍  A woman who stands three apples tall trolling an entire nation and juries because she knew she had gold in her hands and then getting rigged out of the easiest nf victory out of pure SPITE 😍  WHAT AN ARC. 😍

Portugal 2020 vs Portugal 2021

Elisa probably would not have qualified. I’m not sure how popular of an opinion this is, but I prefer the semifinal performance of “Medo de sentir” and that wasn’t the staging they were going for. Not many people seemed to care either way, and that’s usually the death sentence for Portugal. 

Elisa won’t be back for 2021 or whenever Eurovision is rebooted. :sigh: Fuck you, Coronavirus. 

Freaky! Friday! Factor!

See: NF Corner:

Score: 4 Senhits out of 5.