#I made this at 1:30 on a whim

[violetjedisylveon]

If you live in a time zone where it's gonna be in the AM while ao3 is down, maybe try sleeping, it'll be back faster

[swanlakebaby]

our little secret | pjm

prompt: a short scenario about you and jimin sneaking around together as step-siblings

♡ pairing: bts!jimin x fem!reader

⸝⸝ warnings: smut, bts jimin, fem reader, bf jimin, kissing, passionate, sneaking around, risky, step siblings, sex, teasing night,

♡ word count: 890

⸝⸝ note: happy new years! i've been too busy, but i'm gonna try to do better at writing whenever i have free time. this is something that i wrote on a whim, when i had the vision. there's no specific story line. it's kind of just one-off.

• nsfw/18+

-

 she noticed the way he would look at her, catching glimpses of his eyes concentrated on her when she walked past. the look in his eyes every time they made eye contact, or the soft tone of voice he used with her when they chatted. so it’s no shock that when he brother introduced the idea of making out after classes, that she agreed.

it was just supposed to be that. makeout, kisses, and that’s it. they’d wait until their parents left the house to go to work or the store, then he’d sneak into her room and sit on her bed, cradling her in his lap as he rubbed on her body. they began moving this secret relationship to other parts of the house. the kitchen, sneaking quick kisses when the parents were in the living room. the living room, having a small makeout sesh late at night when everyone else has gone to bed. even on the bus, she’d sit in his lap, way in the back of the bus so nobody noticed her on him with his hands firmly gripping her hips.

but then, overtime, something changed. they wanted more, craved more. they needed to be closer to each other. one day, they agree to play a board game when the parents leave to spend the evening out in the city for a date night. perfect. the game goes, you roll your dice and either receive, or give to the other person. it can be as simple as a kiss on the cheek, or a full-blown blowjob.

they quickly set up and begin to play. things start off innocent, kisses here and there. as the game goes on, they have to take the pants and shirt off the other, kiss their neck area & rub on each others thighs. she hadn’t seen jimin's cock at this point. yet now, he was sitting his boxers in front of her, his hard bulge begging for release.

he was firm and thick. her mouth watered when he took off his pants. she needed him. and finally, the game says to enter the tip only, but with a condom. so, he does. it’s slow, he groans due to how tight she is and begins fucking her, following the games prompt. its sticky and wet inside of her, but also warm. she bends over the couch on all fours, he looks down at her plump ass, her butt cheeks rubbing against his cock with each stroke.

as he fucks her with the tip, she closes her eyes and enjoys the feeling, but wants more. she eventually pushes him out, wanting to continue and get deeper into the game. when she looks down at him, his cock is stiff and hard, the condom on his dick. he puts his cock back into his boxers & they continue the game. now, she has to give him head for 1 minute and 30 seconds. he removes the condom, and she wastes no time. she stuffs his cock into his mouth, sucking him off and stroking him. he groans and grabs at her hair, strings of saliva spilling out of her mouth and coating his cock as he pushes her head farther down onto him. he enjoys it a lot, almost too much, and is annoyed when the minute and a half quickly comes and goes.

she grins at him and stands up, wiping her mouth. next, he has to fuck her for 3 minutes. they're excited now and they go back to the original position on the couch. she waits as he puts on a new condom. he slides into her with ease, pounding at her as he knows time is limited. her wet pussy makes him angry. wishing he could feel it, the thin plastic barrier between them being a major inconvience.

when the timer goes off, he sucks in his breath. fuck it, he goes, swiping the dice off the table and the cards that go along with it. he tells her he wants to fuck, do what he wants to her, instead of listening to a game. she nods excitedly, ready to do whatever jimin says. he takes off the condom, grabbing onto her hips and slowly sliding into her. the feeling was electric, her warm pussy caved in his penis, her plump ass rubbing against his cock like before.

she fucked herself onto him, his cock coated in her juices. they fucked for a while, she came onto him a few times. he pulled her hair and smacked her ass until it was beaming red. when he felt himself about to cum, he whispered dirty profanities at her. looking down, he saw the way his girthy cock effortlessly fucked her, her cum all over him. strings of stickiness stretching and melting with each stroke. he finally pulled out, hot ropes of cum spraying out onto her plump ass. he groaned, some of his cum landing on her lower back. at last, they finally had released the intense craving that was setting them back for weeks. they would continue to fuck. in private, in restrooms, dressing rooms, even when their family was in the next room, or sometimes he'd sneak into her bedroom late at night, quietly fucking under the covers. they both agreed it would just be their own little secret.

[cas-is-queer]

On a whim I decided to take my first venture into the expansive world of Doctor Who audio dramas. On the recommendation of the thoschei community, I started with Master on spotify.

OF ALL THE ONES TO FUCKING START WITH I PICKED THE FUXKING ROCK MURDER ONE KEISGSVHRKEHEH I HAVE SO MANY FEELINGS ABOUT THEM RIGHT NOW

I can't even. Y'all were NOT kidding on that. What the fuck. brb I'm gonna go cry myself into a coma. Anyways I highly recommend to literally everyone. (It's just over 2 hrs btw, so it's a commitment. which I made at 10:30 pm. It's almost 1 am. I gotta go to bed.)

[blue-pastel-cat]

"Dear Past You….Who Saved Future me" Part 1

A Time-Travel AU in a sense where a curio transported back into the past where he met a younger Jing Yuan.

An AU I made on a whim, that went wayyyy longer than I expected. I used Clip Studio seriously for the first time as well so this me experimenting with it but since Tumblr only lets me upload 30 image at a time here's first half!

This is a compile and also corrected version hahaha. Thank you for reading! Full Comic below!

[ittybittyremy]

All the details Bells Hells know about Cyrus' death & everything surrounding it

I've been seeing people wondering/forgetting how much Dorian has told Bells Hells about the circumstances of Cyrus' death. So I've decided to go through the episodes!

A couple disclaimers before I start:

Orym shouldn't have made that comment to Dorian. Even if he didn't know all the specifics, knowing Dorian's brother died recently (and at all for that matter) should have stopped him from making that theoretical. Even if Cyrus' death had nothing to do with the gods, it would still be an inappropriate thing to say. He could've made that theoretical to anyone else in that group but he said it to the person with a recently dead family member.

Even though it would be beneficial for Dorian to tell BH (and for BH to learn/understand) everything about that day, he doesn't have to (and` shouldn't be forced to). Plus, it's very in character for Dorian not to tell them.

I don't want to see any comments saying "well it's implied," "BH should be able to connect the dots," or "BH should get the hint because of how Dorian has been acting." I'm bad at picking up hints irl so I won't fault BH for not connecting those points.

This post is about what Dorian has explicitly said (even though I did add a couple parts where he implies what happens).

This is all under the assumption that Dorian has not told BH everything off camera.

All timestamps will be based on the YouTube VOD.

I may miss a couple tidbits so sorry in advance.

Now to the actual information

Episode 93

Cyrus died (3:43:24)

Two of Dorian's best friends became the champions of the Matron of Ravens and the Spider Queen (3:43:28)

It all happened yesterday (3:43:38)

Opal is "not really" okay (3:43:45)

Cyrus died in battle "if you can call it that" (3:53:36)

Until that day he never thought real evil existed (3:53:46)

What he saw in the previous couple days does was "irredeemable" (3:53:55)

They tried to help Opal (3:54:59)

Dorian knows that there are forces enacting on the world that go "deeper than [he] imagined" (3:55:05)

Fy'ra Rai stayed with Opal (3:55:16)

Dariax is "all right" (3:55:20)

Opal is alive but corrupted (3:57:04)

Fy'ra Rai may be walking down the path as Opal (3:57:12)

Episode 94

Dorian doesn't explicitly mention it this episode but there is a moment where he hints that the prime deities may have somehow been involved.

"If you are relying on the help of the gods, champions, I can't say that I trust them anymore" (2:30:17)

Episode 102

No explicit mentions here BUT we begin to get Dorian's opinions of the gods. That's not what this post is about so I will move on

Episode 103

More of Dorian's views on the gods and we finally get another (sort of) explicit mention

"The last I conferred with a god, they cared very little about the feelings of anyone around us." That god being the Spider Queen (1:37:01)

The reason I say "sort of" is because Dorian doesn't say this is in regards to Cyrus' death (even though we the audience knows this). Orym and Fearne could've easily assumed that this was in regards to their EXU times.

Episode 109

Get an idea of what "getting dark" means. Matt describes Opal as "a humanoid shape of white hair and a black crown dripping and black oil and ichor. Opal stands dark and still" (2:19:13)

"Opal the Twice-Crowned, born a fractured, dual soul. A being of unknown potential, manipulated by cult and betrayer gods alike to walk a violent path without agency, a pawn for the gods and their whims." Raven Queen describing Opal (2:19:32)

Opal has a spider form (different from three-armed Opal) (2:49:20)

Episode 110

Dorian remind Bells Hells that Opal is now the champion of the Spider Queen (51:29)

Laudna says "hang on, because didn't, the last time you saw Opal, wasn't she trying to brutally murder you?" (52:22). I guess BH knows it was the Spider Queen? I'm a bit confused because Dorian never explicitly told them this but maybe it was an off screen thing

Dorian: "I'm not certain any information we would get from her would be particularly reliable" (52:30)

What does Bells Hells know?

As far as they know, the day before Dorian reunited with Bells Hells:

Cyrus died in a (sort of) battle.

They tried to help Opal but she is corrupted, she is still alive though

Fy'ra Rai stayed with Opal

Dariax is safe

Opal and someone else are now the champions of the Spider Queen and Matron of Ravens.

Dorian discovered real evil existed

The title "Opal the Twice-Crowned"

Opal's spider form (but different the three-armed Opal that Dorian saw)

Opal is not a reliable source of information right now

What does Bells Hells not know?

Wildmother refused to help

Matron refused to help

The Spider Queen killed Cyrus (? tbh i'm confused about this one)

Dorian came here because Opal casted mass suggestion

Dorian abandoned Dariax

Opal's memories are either gone or altered

Opal with three arms

The whole Ted thing

And much more

[shnowyfox]

You people give me way too much credit for literally not even posting fully rendered art.

Especially since the custody conflict post has over 700 likes now? Those are some of my worst pieces and I have considered deleting it just to spite you fools. That post does NOT deserve to stand next to the 2 nickels post, you can hardly read most of it.

No but fr thank you all for the funny hearts even if they don't actually help they make me happy.

I wasn't gonna post this but I feel like I have to attach art so. Have this mess I made yesterday on a whim in like 30 minutes on 1 layer.

I think the transformers stuff is here to stay, BTW. Like the blog was whatever I feel like, yeah, but this is just natural I think. I think I found MY THING. My final form. What's funny is I avoided transformers because I thought it was just some lame dark edgy franchise, my main exposure at a young age being the bayverse films and whenever TFP came on the Hub between FIM airings (great Primus those were the days). I was a coward and a fool to say the least. Literally, it's aliens, it's robots, it's cartoony, it's bugs, and it's dinosaurs, and it's GAY. It's literally EVERYTHING I've ever loved all in one franchise with a rich decades old history of lore and Fandom to explore and dig through. I'm going to be here a while. And to think I only found it because my boyfriend was like "hey, watch transformers one." And I was like "okay boyfriend i'll give it a shot." and it is now my favorite movie of all time.

[cher-rei]

afterglow- pt 1 [ T.A.A ]

pairings: trent alexander arnold x femreader

summary: young and aspiring marketing and business major jamie carter (you) is privileged with working alongside the liverpool marketing and public relations team while also getting entangled with their star player and right back, trent alexander arnold.

[wc: 2.6k] [part 2] [part 3 ] [part 4] [part 5] [part 6] [part 7] [part 8] [part 9] [part 10] [part 11] [part 12]

genre(s): friends?? to lovers, work romance, fluff

notes: I've had this idea on my mind for months but I had no idea how to execute it at all. also instead of using the y/n insert, I gave the character a name even though it is read from your pov. It just made it easier to write lmao

"ms carter?"

your heart dropped at the sound of your name being called by an unfamiliar voice, which was something you were going to have to get used to. nonetheless, you turned around to see an older man approaching you with a warm smile and something in his hand.

when he got close enough he put out his hand and you politely shook it as a greeting, still not sure who you were talking to. before you could speak up however, you were interrupted by something being put in your hand.

"this is your staff id," the older man said and you took a closer look at the lanyard in your hand. the picture you had taken less than a few weeks ago was set neatly inside with your name, and position.

carter, jaime

[public relations manager- social media and marketing department]

public relations manager. those three words were enough to make you feel light headed.

you liked to think that your employment on liverpool fc's marketing team was nothing but pure luck. from the moment you handed in your resume for your university final year internship out of pure whim, then to you getting accepted for whatever reason until you got the email no less than a month after graduation asking you to come in for an interview.

all that lead up to the moment you were currently in. standing in the middle of the empty anfield stadium that you had visited for nearly every home game since you were a child. it was nothing but pure luck.

you were broken out of your daze by the older man chuckling about something, which showed that you hadn't heard a single word he said during the past five minutes. you mustered up a smile regardless to play it off and proceeded to follow him for what you thought was a building tour.

"I just realised that I never properly introduced myself," he laughed dryly and gestured for you to step into the tunnel before him. "I'm billy hogan- chief executive officer and I'm ever so sorry for being in a rush right now but I'd like you to be at the training center within the next 30 minutes."

your eyes widened in shock, your feet absentmindedly picking up its pace while hogan continued to speed through the building tour, leaving no room for questions but you decided to make a mental note to ask someone else when you got the chance.

you were escorted to the black s.u.v along with hogan immediately, running through the hundreds of questions you had at the moment. you know you only had room for one though before he was on another phone call.

"uhm sir-"

"yes ms carter?" the older man addressed without trailing his gaze from his cellphone screen or the pile of documents in front of him.

oh gosh.

you managed to clear your throat. "I'm not too sure why I'll be needed at the training center. shouldn't I be in the office or..."

when he heard you start to trail off, hogan shut the folder in his lap and turned to look at you with an expression you couldn't quite read. there was a moment of awkward silence that passed between the two of you in the backseat of the s.u.v, the driver not paying any mind to the conversation.

"our last marketing manager had to be fired because we found out that he was leaking information out to reporters and news broadcasters along with four other employees."

oh shit.

you shuffled in your seat as you tried to think of a response to the news but whenever you parted your lips to say something hogan would raise his finger as a sign that he wasn't done talking. so you swallowed the bitter taste in your mouth along with any comments and listened intently.

did it sound like he was targeting you and bordelined threatening you? yes, yes it did. but you were sure he meant well and was only trying to bring his point across.

"we're low on staff and that's why you were handed two very crucial roles and are expected to make up for the losses. you'll be working alongside the team as you read in the contract," he began once again with a knowing look which made your stomach drop.

because you didn't read the contract. not fully at least. your older sister was the one who urged you to sign it the second it was sent to your house. hell, it could've stated that you were required to donate an organ and you wouldn't have known all because your were too excited and didn't spare anything a second glance.

"but why didn't you just promote people that were already in the department instead of giving me the position straight away?"

hogan let out a dry chuckle and tended to his phone once again, not looking back at you. "because nobody else wanted the position. it's dangerous up there ms carter. so you may feel important right now, but if you can't handle the workload and expectations it's going to get messy."

well this is news to me.

to sum up hogan's lecture and recital of the contract off by heart, you were in fact set up to be working alongside the team as a higher ranking media representative because there needed to be more field work done. no pun intended.

but the fact that nobody else was up for the position didn't sit right with you.

"just make sure they look good for the camera and keep everyone entertained. you're an influencer yourself, so I'm entrusting you to keep everything in order. you were hired because you are young and are in the game already. so keep yourself level-headed and do your best."

no pressure I guess??

deciding to wear sneakers instead of heels today was by the far the best decision you've made in weeks. the weather in liverpool during september was nothing short of horrid. when you stepped out of the car your face was immediately hit with the harsh and crisp air that reminded you why you spent majority of your time indoors.

"welcome to our axa training center," hogan gestured to the building in front of you, it's ceiling to floor windows having you gawking in awe. "this is where you'll be spending a good amount of your time, but it's not as bad as it seems I promise."

what's so bad about watching a bunch of professional football players train half naked?

unlike your last building tour, hogan actually took his time showing you around this time. from the lobby, breakroom, staff rooms, gym and finally to the field where the team was out practicing-- or at least that's what you thought was happening judging by all the screaming.

the second you stepped foot out onto the field, klopp turned to look at you with a welcoming smile.

did he just sense my presence??

you felt frozen in your spot, the world had practically stopped spinning the second he called you and hogan over. when you made it over he halted his conversation with the person beside him to shake your hand.

"it's lovely to finally meet you ms carter," the team's manager politely greeted and it took every single nerve in your body for you to not do something stupid.

you bashfully laughed and brushed his comment off, "if anything, the pleasure is mine. I am extremely honoured to be working in this position."

after a few moments of getting to know each other and klopp giving you a bit of an idea of what he expected media-wise, you realised that you had work cut out for you, judging by klopp saying, "think of this as your second family. the team needs something different, and you ms carter, are exactly the home improvement that we need."

you felt like the weight of the world had just been put on your shoulders again, and his tone of utter sincerity wasn't making it any less pressurising. of course you wanted to do well and give your all into this role but it was going to take a bit of time getting used to.

I should have read that damn contract.

"would you like to meet the team?" klopp asked with a smile and lightly patted your shoulder.

the gesture alone was enough to render you speechless, and you weren't quite sure if you heard him correctly. "would I like to do what?"

"boys!"

your eyes widened in shock as he called the team over. you didn't know what to do or say, your fight or flight mode had nearly been activated and you swore you were about to sprint out of the training center, all the way back home.

you anxiously fiddled with your fingers, not knowing what to do with your hands as you watched the group of soccer players head your way with little to no care to which klopp gave you a reassuring pat on the shoulder. "don't worry, they won't bite."

you mustered up an awkward laugh, muttering under your breath as you mentally prepared yourself for the moment. you obviously hadn't met any of them before, the closest you had gotten was going to the stadium to watch their matches.

the closest you had gotten to any interaction with any professional soccer player in general however, would be at the beginning of the year when jude bellingham followed you back on Instagram. which was still the best day of your life up to date.

you were awestruck, words unable to form as they all huddled up in front of you. you could see the sweat beading on their foreheads which caused a shiver to travel down your spine.

"boys this is ms jaime carter." klopp gestured to you and you managed a small wave, trying to ignore the sound of your heart beating in your ears. "she'll be working with us from now on, as manager of the pr manager for both the marketing and social media departments."

you were greeted with a choir of 'hello's' and listened to klopp give everyone the run-down and a little enlightenment into the situation regarding the last bundle of staff that had to be cut off so abruptly.

"pfft, snitches."

you head turned to look in the direction of the comment, that was immediately reprimanded.

"curtis," klopp started and the soccer player pursed his lips apologetically.

"sorry boss."

"aren't you a little too young to be the manager of two departments?"

your eyebrows raised at the question from harvey. klopp and hogan had to attend to a last minute call from the clubs directors so you were left with the team to "get to know each other", but most of them got back to training which left you with harvey, curtis and trent.

you shifted your weight to your right leg, your head tilting to the side challengingly as you eyed the boy. "well you're younger than i am and playing professional football. what does me being a pr manager make any difference?"

trent and curtis couldn't help but snicker at your counter, jokingly mocking their younger teammate until he got visibly irritated.

"you can't deny us the right to laugh at you," trent said jokingly and kicked the ball to harvey, who passed it to cutis again.

their banter went on for a few minutes as you watched the ball pass between the three of them until harvey spoke up again.

"you're straight out of university though so--"

his sentence was cut off by someone yelling, "ball!", to which you all instinctively looked up only to realise a little to late that it was headed in your direction.

shit.

you backed away just in time to get the ball before it hit the ground. the second it came into contact with your foot, you sent it back virgil's way to which he gave you a smile.

a familiar feeling stired up in your stomach after, but you pushed it aside and for back to your train of thought. "and you're straight out of high-school. so i rest my case."

a moment of silence took over, trent and curtis both shifting their gazes from you and all the way over to virgil who was over at the goal post.

harvey was taking the moment to recollect your high school comment. it was because he was short wasn't it? that's all people had to throw at him these days.

it was trent's turn to speak up, his eyebrows raised while curtis muttered to himself about the distance or something like that. "have you played before?"

before you could answer, your name was being called by hogan since it was time to get back to the office building. you huffed out a breath and sent the three boys a smile.

"looks like today's 'q and a' was cut short." you took a few steps back, stuffing your hands into the pockets of your puffer jacket. "you might as well stock them up for next time. I'll be more than happy to feed your curious minds."

[gnomeantics]

as is customary for me now i made notes on the space baby talkback! obviously space baby spoilers below so read at your own risk. but once more i present:

NOTES FROM THE SPACE BABY LIVESTREAM

8th February 2025, 8pm (my time, GMT) / 3pm (ET) / 12pm (PT)

Section 1: Preshow

I only caught what I assume to be the end of the preshow as I joined about 5 minutes before the show began! But this is what I got from that.

Space Baby is learning about the world through episodes with themes - Jaime described this as being like Sesame Street.

Each creator based their minisode on a "show bible" given to them by Jaime, which included the tone, aesthetics, and prompt; the creators didn't see each other's minisodes, and this was their first time seeing the finished product too

The format is a singular episode made of many minisodes which all have the same theme. On youtube these minisodes will be released separately.

Section 2: Space Baby

no notes here i was too locked in watching it

Section 3: Talkback

Jaime described the theme song as "Duck Tales and Gummy Bear with farts", and went on to discuss the "baby liquid noises" in it

We are all Space Baby (learning about the world/seeing the episodes from his perspective, through his eyes)

Minisode 1: Missed Connections (discussed with James Tolbert and Matt Dahan)

This episode was a Plan B - the first idea was scrapped as it wasn't in keeping with the theme of ennui, but it will hopefully be used later

Concept: what do we do when we are without our phones? (Phones being seen as a solution to ennui, so what happens when we don’t have that.) Matt said “the connections we make when we allow ourselves”.

Music: starts off quite disjointed and disconnected much like the people on their phones, then as the phones are discarded the drums, shaker, guitar, etc are added (described as puzzle pieces fitting together). When the phones come back it reverts to the disjointedness.

Dance: each person ends their phrase where the next begins

Use of colour: only red when the phones are there, full range of colour can be seen when the people connect

Creating a dialogue without speaking

Network Notes (discussed with Leigh Lahav)

Concept: “a helpless, lonely creator who succumbs to the whims of people who don’t speak his language”

The voice could be anything – aliens, inner voice…

For the voice, a “unique but familiar” sound was used with the theremin. Associated with spooky 50s horror B-movies (also Severance incidentally)

Leigh noted the use of VHS rewind throughout the show – 90s feeling of eras being mashed together, using example of 1920s-30s Looney Tunes and 1950s Hanna Barbera cartoons on VHS tapes in an increasingly digital era. Influenced style of the minisode with the Hanna Barbera type style, VHS rewind, theremin, PNG background.

Song is a take on Sugar by the Archies

Theme for all the minisodes – “what would Jaime like?”

Ruthy at Bat (discussed with Curt Mega and Angela Parrish)

This was shot 4 times as they were unhappy with the first 3 versions

The song devolves from cheesy and positive to scary and creepy. “What are the grossest things I can think of?” - Angela (thus HAD to include 2 girls 1 cup reference)

Jaime talked about the ability to take the grotesque and make it palatable and friendy

The guy who invented the WWW is called Tim Berners-Lee and I did message someone about that during the minisode because I knew who they were on about. And now they’re confirming it. (not integral to the notes but I wrote it down so it’s going here)

We’re hopefully getting a soundtrack release!!! And maybe a less abrupt ending (though to this James said “this is what they deserve” so maybe that’s a no on the ending)

Hey Baby (discussed with Denise Donovan)

What makes Space Baby so beautiful is the range of effort. Denise shot her piece in about ten minutes

She loved dating shows as a child e.g. The Dating Game so this helped inspire it

The inspiration for her character, Celeste, came from an inside joke with Lauren Lopez where they both call each other Celeste and act as independently wealthy women from the 90s

Celeste is a divorced corporate woman. Her ex-husband, Tom, couldn’t hack it. She played team sports competitively in high school and “took everything she learned in team sports and now the board room is her court”.

She’s the kind of relaxed mother who would plan something if she had the kids that weekend, but wouldn’t feel guilty about having a little Pinot Grigio too

Despite Denise saying that she put very little effort into her part Celeste in fact has a very fleshed out backstory and we would love to explore this further.

Hey Baby came together as they wanted as many people as possible in one sketch, and this could be filmed all over the country. Jaime sent everyone a purple rose so there was a more unified design, and gave them all one minute to make a character for a dating video. The time limit and improv of it all made it more low stakes.

Only Jaime knew what everyone else had done – the coherency of it was purely coincidental (“my sausage…” “not very long though!”)

The little PSA thing James did (did this have a name? I didn’t catch one) (discussed with James Tolbert)

Based on these shitty kids’ PSAs from the 90s with really famous celebrities, about how to be a better person.

The children in this (and Tim in Ruthy at Bat) were Curt’s students.

Pixie’s Playhouse (discussed with Tessa Netting)

Curt gave the overall vibe and Tessa ran with it

Took inspiration from Big Comfy Couch

Pixie is played very bubbly but also with a lot of sadness, lots of subtext. “Something is not right with Pixie” – Jaime

We need a Pixie deep dive a la Celeste!

Kim was not informed about Mann E Kim before its arrival. Curt did not tell Kim about it right away even when it was in their house. Mann E Kim was returned to Amazon.

Mann E Kim wears one of the Beautiful Blond Boys wigs from NMT2!

New Starkid merch needed: Starkid Skin Mask! (apparently it is VERY skinlike.)

“Do you think we killed him?” - Tessa, discussing David Lynch

Box (discussed with Sinead Persaud)

“Sean, who is here in spirit, much like David Lynch- EXCEPT SEAN IS ALIVE. GOD” – Jaime

I Saw The TV Glow / Zoom vibe

The idea for this came pre-Space Baby!

It’s about getting so lost in routine that you don’t see evils creeping up (usually evils from within, like mental health), and how things often have to be very upsetting/perilous for someone in order to be enjoyable to audiences

Jon arrived to the talkback and said that his partner studied mime, but he only showed the minisode to her after it was finished. He plays a mime

This was the second time Jon was cast as a mime in about four months, he says that these things come in threes so waiting for the next Jon mime

General talkback resumed! We all want to see more Celeste. Jon said “I yield my time to Celeste”

The next prompt may be decided by other people – maybe the audience? The chat seemed hooked on “whimsy”

James has secret projects. He mentioned also a musical miniseries based on Space Baby!!!

Space Baby is purple because this is Starkid’s unofficial colour.

Jon also has secret projects.

& this is where my notes end!

[pikahlua]

Fourteen Days of MHA: Day 2

UA Academy, Education

In honor of UA/education day, I'mma learn you all some practical skills, à la the summer training camp arc.

How to make Japanese-style curry from scratch!

Yes, from scratch. Plus ultra. No pre-made curry roux box necessary for those of you who may not have access to such products where you live or who want to make modifications for food intolerance (this can be made gluten free! in fact that's usually how I make it). I will include two recipes: one for curry roux, and one for curry the complete dish. This is going to be my personal recipe for making curry, curry roux included, with some notes on other twists you can add to this dish.

Recipes below the cut. Let's get cooking!

Recipe: Curry roux

You need blocks of curry roux to make Japanese-style curry. If you'd like to go the easy route, buy a box of S&B curry blocks (the most widespread brand I believe) or from any other brand. But if you'd like to make this from scratch, here's how you do it.

Required Ingredients:

Note: This recipe makes about 3.5 oz of curry blocks or the equivalent of one small container of store-bought pre-made curry blocks. You would dissolve it in 2.5-3 cups of liquid to make curry. I double this recipe to make larger batches.

3 tbsp butter (or a neutral oil like canola)

3 tbsp flour (all-purpose gluten free flour works just as well)

3 tbsp curry powder (I use S&B curry powder)

1 tbsp tomato paste

Salt

Seasoning (see below)

Pika's Special Seasoning:

Garlic powder or garlic salt

Chinese chicken bouillon powder (or just MSG) (Lee Kum Kee has a gluten free option)

Ground mustard

Celery salt

Sugar

Black and/or white pepper

Chili pepper (I use shichimi togarashi), optional for spicy

These are the ingredients I typically use to flavor my roux. You may ask how much, and well, sorry, my measurements here are in my heart. I throw in dashes based on aroma and experience. I also like my curry strong and spicy.

Any ingredient can be omitted as all each does is add a new layer of flavor. No ingredients depend on any others (though sugar with tomato paste seems like a given to me). You CAN omit the tomato paste if you're sensitive to tomatoes.

Other Optional Seasoning:

Cayenne, optional for spicy

Ground ginger (fresh ginger would probably work too)

Onion powder (especially if you don't have MSG or chicken bouillon powder)

Garam masala (around 1 tbsp adds a sweeter flavor and a cinnamon-cardamom aroma)

Honey (I personally put honey in the curry after it's made, not at this stage)

These are ingredients others use that you may consider adding for different depths of flavor. I do not typically use them in this recipe, but I have been known to experiment with them on occasion. I've listed them in the order of how likely I am to throw them in on a whim.

Instructions:

Make one batch of roux for a small, mild curry. Make two batches of roux (i.e. double the ingredients) for a stronger and/or larger batch of curry.

Heat a skillet on the stove over medium-low heat. Optionally toast dry spices if desired, though not necessary, then remove spices and set aside. Melt butter (or heat oil, if using) in pan.

Add flour and combine. I personally use a nonstick pan-safe whisk to make sure it combines well, but a wooden spoon or silicone paddle would work too.

Reduce heat to low (medium-low if you're ready to watch that thing like a hawk). Cook 5-15 minutes stirring constantly to keep the roux from sticking to the pan and burning. You're looking for the roux mixture to turn light brown like peanut butter. It will develop a nutty aroma as it cooks.

Add curry powder, tomato paste, salt, and all desired seasoning ingredients. Stir to combine. The mixture should become dry and pasty.

Cook for 30 seconds to 1 minute or until all ingredients are well-combined and then turn off burner.

If using roux soon, set aside. If not using roux soon, put all the roux in a container lined with parchment paper. Score the paste with a knife to make it easy to break and remove. In an air-tight container, the roux will keep in the fridge for up to 1 month* or in the freezer for up to 4 months. *Caveat: If you use chicken bouillon powder or any ingredient that includes meat, I do not know if it will store in the fridge for longer than a few days. In this case, I would suggest freezing the roux to be safe.

Recipe: Japanese-style curry

Ingredients:

Note: My portions are determined by what fits in my pot.

2 tbsp neutral oil (canola)

1-2 lb protein (you can use any protein i.e. beef, pork, chicken, seafood, tofu, tonkatsu, etc., but I usually just stick with mushrooms for ease; if I do meat, I usually pick ground beef or cubed beef chuck)

1 batch of curry roux for mild curry (or 4 blocks packaged curry roux), 2 batches for strong (see above recipe) (or 8 blocks of packaged curry roux)

1 sweet onion (can substitute with yellow or white onion), sliced into half moons

1-2 carrots, peeled and sliced rangiri style

5-6 Yukon gold potatoes, cut into large chunks

8 oz button mushrooms (16 oz if mushrooms are the primary protein), cut into bite-sized chunks

2-3 stalks of celery, cut into bite-sized chunks

4-6 cloves or equivalent of minced garlic

1 quart chicken stock (dashi or vegetable stock or other stock or even water can also be used)

Meiji milk chocolate, 4-5 pieces (you can use any chocolate you like)

1-2 tbsp honey (add to taste)

1 grated apple, optional (I don't usually do this but it's a thing some people like to do)

Cheddar cheese, shredded

Cooked starch of choice i.e. rice or noodles

Pickled ginger, optional garnish

Fukujinzuke pickles, optional garnish

Instructions:

If your protein is raw and requires cooking or browning, prepare it first. Heat oil in a pot over medium heat and sear all the sides brown or cook ground meat until browned. For seared meat, do not worry about cooking it completely; it will finish cooking in the curry. Remove protein from pot. You can leave the drippings in the pot if you'd like to add their flavor to the curry. Ground meat might produce an excess amount of fat though, which you may want to clean out first.

Heat more oil in the pot and add the vegetables. Cook on medium heat for 5 or so minutes or until the vegetables start to develop color and the onions turn translucent.

Add back the protein and any accumulated juices to the pot.

Add chicken stock (or broth/liquid of choice) and bring to a boil. Reduce heat to a simmer and cover. Simmer until ingredients are tender and potatoes can be pierced with a fork, approximately 15 minutes.

Remove lid and reduce heat to low.

Add curry roux (or packaged curry blocks), chocolate pieces, honey, and grated apple if using. (If you'd like, you can break the blocks and chocolate up or shave them into small pieces with a knife.) Stir constantly, making sure to scrape the bottom of the pan often, until curry and chocolate are completely melted and incorporated in the liquid.

Simmer 5 minutes while stirring constantly. Cook longer if you want it to thicken more.

Serve over rice or noodles. Top with shredded cheddar cheese (in my opinion there is no such thing as too much cheese). Optionally garnish with pickled ginger and/or fukujinzuke pickles.

Store leftover curry in the fridge for 3 days. The curry and liquid may separate, but they'll combine again when you heat it up and mix it together. I'm not sure about freezing leftovers as it usually doesn't last long enough for me to get to that stage, but it's worth a try.

Now eat up, you damn nerds!

[windvexer]

Based on your own definitions of when spellcasting starts, how long does it take you to cast the majority a typical spell?

Like if you find the conception and development of a spell to be an active part of working the magic, or the gathering of materials, etc., then that's your start point: but basically choose your own starting point however it makes the most sense to you.

A "typical" spell is the framework you usually use, or the kind of spell you perform most often on average.

"The majority" of a typical spell being the bulk of the work; so for example if I made an enchantment that took an hour, but then I fed it once a day for 3 days, I'd say the spell took an hour. But it's whatever, you must label it according to your whims and desires.

I know the definitions are going to be pretty messy on this one, but I'm deathly curious.

"Spell" being any working of magic.

[asksythe]

Hi! I was looking into some stuff and came across a post talking about WWX’s arrogance. It was about WWX’s character and how the fandom insists that his arrogance was one of his main flaws when that’s not true and so on. Then I saw some people saying that arrogance is not inherently bad in Chinese novels and that I might have to do with the way the novel was translated.

I was just wondering if you had some insight on this. Thanks!

On some level, it can be considered a translation issue. But the real reason why WWX's characters, as well as countless other details in MDZS specifically (and Chinese novels broadly speaking), tend to be misunderstood on such a massive scale is... cross-cultural value mismatch.

Consider this:

1/ There is a tendency in the international fanbase to judge WWX (and other characters) on a modern Western moral standard. I don't have to tell you how illogical this is. Imagine if you come into the world of Game of Thrones and start spouting 21st-century judgment. You are likely to become human shishkebabs in less than five minutes. Most people who watch Game of Thrones or read the book understand that's not something you do unless you are a moron or looking to start shit. But for some reason, this is not the case for the MDZS fandom (and many other Chinese media fandoms out there). I'm not sure why this is the case. It might be because of the cultural distance making people not really realize they are coming into an entirely different world, and then they forget to check their modern expectations at the door. Like how tourists become obnoxious when they come to a foreign country, expecting the foreign country to cater to their whims.

I've once seen someone made an addition on TV Tropes saying WWX is a mass murderer that never got punished for his crime. I... I don't know what to say to that really. My expectation is that the person who wrote that is someone under 30, never left America, and never served in the military. For somebody who has never had this kind of experience, no amount of words will explain to them that for major parts of the world and for the vast majority of mankind's history, you have to be able to kill to survive. In fact, for most of our history, killers are our heroes. War is a reality that we live in. The ones who survive are the ones who win wars, the really accomplished killers.

2/ MDZS was not written for an international audience. That is to say, it's written with the expectation that it doesn't have to explain its intricacies and tropes to its intended readers. Because its readers already know. MDZS is xianxia danmei. Danmei has only had about 2 decades of modern history. But xianxia as a genre has stretched back millennia. Its tropes are very set. Chinese (and Sinosphere) readers don't need an explanation because we grow up consuming this kind of stories.

We don't need to be told in plain words to know WWX's only crime is to be possession of the Yin Tiger Tally, and the Jin's scheme is the real reason behind his tragedy. Because it's such a standard trope in our culture that there are millennia-old proverbs about it.

匹夫无罪，怀璧其罪 - pǐ fū wú zuì，huái bì qí zuì. Lit. The commoner is innocent, but his possession of treasure is a sin.

We don't need to be told that it doesn't matter if WWX goes along with the cultivation world's ceaseless demands (keep Suibian with him, consult more with Jiang Cheng before he does things) to know that none of that matters. Because none of those are actual rules, just trivial bullshit made up and used to socially isolate WWX and manipulate the public opinion against him. WWX's true crime is that he is alone. He is an orphan. No one will stand up for him. And unlike his big mouth, he's a real softie. Because if he wasn't then all of them would be dead ten times over with the kind of martial power WWX possess. Only WWX's good heart holds him back from really using his ability. Therefore, you can spit on him, you can cut him, you can trample on him without fearing retaliations.

Nie Mingjue has no sword. Ain't nobody try to lip him about it. Yu Furen has no sword. She uses a whip. Ain't nobody lip her about it.

WWX's undead cultivation is also not really the problem. That kind of cultivation is vanilla as girl scout's cookies. It's only made out that way because it's a method of cultivation that is very easy to learn and does not require enormous resources (i.e. caste issue, not class, caste) to cultivate. Which means it's a method that can be practiced far and wide by poor commoners. Which means it's an infringement on the cultivator House's power and financial base. That's its real crime. Not all that justice bullshit.

For many international fans out there, MDZS is their introduction to danmei (and xianxia). So they come in not knowing these things. They don't see the caste issues, the tragedy, the difference of philosophies and choices between WWX and JC. Their conclusion is built on ignorance and misunderstanding.

It doesn't help that most know little to nothing about Chinese culture which is a high-context culture, the polar opposite of most Western cultures (low-context culture). Something that may seem small and insignificant for a Western reader base can be a really big deal for the Chinese reader base, because it's inbuilt in five thousand years of history and culture. Like why Jin Guangyao buried his mother's corpse in the Guanyin temple and why he needed to reclaim it and take it with him when he tried to flee to Japan.

So it's no surprise there is such a massive divide in fandom opinion.

[thalialunacy]

[for the @calaisreno May Promptosaurus Rex; cw for toddler stuff, eg 💩 & 🤮]

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) (11) (12) (13) (14) (15) (16) (17) (18) 19: weather (20) (21) (22) (23) (24) (25) (26) (27) (28) (29) (30) (31)

'A-ha! We did it!' John says, possibly too chuffed as he holds up a freshly changed and dressed Rosie. 'We--'

She makes a very distinctive face, then grunts. John eyes her. 'Tell me that face doesn't mean what I think it means.'

Then he does the sniff test, and yes. Yes, it does mean that.

He lays her down yet again, fond exasperation tugging at his lips. 'Wee girl, why do you do this to me?' His mum has used the endearment on Harry their whole lives, so it's comfortable on his tongue as he reaches for wipes and a new nappy -- only to discover the stashes depleted. As in… nill.

John rolls several expletives around his teeth. But then Rosie giggle-gurgles up at him, and he swoops in to expel his breath instead on her cheek in the form of a huge raspberry. He almost doesn't hear the knock on the door.

He pauses, but then shrugs and picks her up. 'Sorry, sweetheart. Let's go see who's at the door, yeah?'

She is notably non-nonplussed. 'Livery?'

'Might be,' John replies as he reaches the building door and opens it. 'And it is!' His daughter claps and immediately reaches out for the spotty young man trying to wrestle a rather large box. 'Whoa, there.' John reins her back in; she wants to be friends with everyone, which is both endearing and alarming.

'Do I need to sign?' he says to the carrier, who, now that John's looking, isn't wearing any sort of uniform. He looks like a dishboy haphazardly and temporarily promoted.

'No, sir. I'm to bring it up to the flat.'

A seed of a thought germinates in John's head. 'That was your instruction?'

The lad nods, clearly trying not to show his impatience. John holds back a sigh, and opens the door wider to let him pass. 'By all means.'

And it's as John expected: Wipes, diaper rash cream, and nappies. They're even--though he really shouldn't be surprised--the correct size.

As soon as Rosie's changed (again), he's got his phone out.

'I trust the delivery made it in time?' Mycroft answers.

John spares them both the niceties. 'How?'

'Nothing untoward, I assure you. Sherlock texted me.'

'Right. And where is he?' They may have an… evolving relationship, but Sherlock is still Sherlock, and John can also admit he only vaguely remembers what the detective had said when he'd left earlier in the day.

'I believe the words "spleen" and "unidentified poison" are involved.'

'Excellent. Listen.' He clears his throat. 'I'll pay you back.'

'My mother would call that "vulgar," as you know.'

'And she's a lovely woman, but--'

'Discuss it with Sherlock, please. I've got work and must get back to it.'

He rings off. John stares at his phone.

Death by Holmes. That's it. That will be how his life ends.

---

Rosie has broken the laws of physics and/or cloned herself. She has. She must have done.

That's the only explanation for the sheer reach of mess he finds waiting for him after his clinic hours the next day. 'Bloody hell,' he breathes, standing in the flat's doorway and taking it in.

It's more than the usual whirlwind that happens when Sherlock's between cases and takes Rosie for the day - He claims loftily that he's putting her through intellectual paces, but really he just indulges her every whim, including her lack of enthusiasm for cleaning up. And it's not as if the flat was shining and organised to begin with.

John doesn't even have the bandwidth to log all the bits of chaos surrounding him. For heaven's sake, he hadn't even known they owned bubble solution. But, then again, they don't now, judging by the rather large soapy stain on the rug in front of the window, and the family of tipped-over empty bottles next to it.

'John!' he hears from Sherlock's bedroom. 'Come join us!'

He rolls his eyes, but goes anyway. The noises make it clear as to what they're doing, and John hangs his head before pushing open the door. He'd been hoping to at least have one nice mattress in the flat for a bit longer.

But no, currently Sherlock is holding onto an absolutely delighted toddler while, obviously, jumping up and down on the bed like he's seven. Actually, John fleetingly wonders if Sherlock even got to do such things when he was seven--

'Come on, John!'

--and the unabashed joy in Sherlock's eyes tells him his answer. With that, the resistance whooshes out of him. He toes off his shoes and joins them.

'We're testing the durability,' Sherlock explains, loudly, then swoops Rosie like an aeroplane.

John laughs, huffs of air as he jumps and watches his daughter. She seems to be enjoying herself, except-- 'I think she might--' He stops, reaches out. 'Sherlock, she's going to v--'

With a small noise of surprise, Rosie is, indeed, sick. The remnants of whatever they'd had for tea form a lovely puddle on Sherlock's expensive sheets.

The grown-ups both manage to avoid it, scrambling backwards and into each other, somehow. John, lungs tight, reaches for his daughter, not caring that she's got sick all down her front. 'My girl,' he says, going for soothing, knowing her reaction could go either way. 'Did that surprise you?'

Rosie, wide-eyed, lets out a small hiccough. Then her face crumples, and she starts to sob.

'Oh dear,' Sherlock says faintly.

John, because he's a bastard, feels laughter start to bubble up in his lungs.

Then he hears Sherlock repressing chuckles next to him, and the floodgates are open, them laughing together like errant schoolboys.

'We musn't giggle near an ill child!' Sherlock admonishes, but it works no better than it had the week they met. John bumps Sherlock's shoulder and curls Rosie into his chest, rubbing her back and putting his lips to her forehead in between breaths. She's not feverish, she just likely got swooped about like an aeroplane too soon after tea, so John relaxes and lets himself go, laughing like an idiot in dirty sheets with a dirty baby and a spotless Sherlock (somehow, the bastard).

Then there's a knock at the door. The door of the flat, not the ground floor.

He and Sherlock exchange glances, no longer laughing; even Rosie has geared down from wailing to whimpering. John shrugs.

'Come in,' Sherlock says, loudly, because of course he does; he doesn't give a toss what people think of his cleaning habits. 'We're in the master bedroom.'

A formidable grey-haired woman with a tight chignon and very no-nonsense shoes appears in the bedroom doorway. She takes in the situation, and then she tuts. Actually tuts, in a distinctly Edwardian way that John hasn't heard since his grandmother passed. 'Just as Mr Holmes suspected.'

Sherlock purses his lips. 'Mycroft sent you?'

'He certainly did. Now, out of those clothes and into the bath, please, all three of you.'

Sherlock opens his mouth to protest but the Look she gives him has him shutting it with a snap.

John would laugh if he had the fortitude. 'Beg pardon, ma'am, but he sent you because…?'

'Because you lot are a mess, a fact of which you seem to be unaware.'

John and Sherlock exchange another look. 'Fine,' Sherlock says curtly. 'But could you be so kind as to leave the room while we undress?'

'Certainly.' She gives a short nod, then turns on her heel and exits down the hall.

'Hang on,' John whispers loudly as they start to unbutton and unzip. 'Mycroft sent us a nanny?'

'I'm relatively certain she's his housekeeper, and just on loan for this evening.'

'I guess I should be surprised.'

'No, you shouldn't, as you're not entirely without wits.'

'Such flattery.'

'Dull.'

'It's almost sweet of your brother, really.'

Sherlock points a finger at him. 'Don't you dare.'

John's lips quirk. 'Don't worry, I won't send him a fruit basket or anything. I just-- I appreciate that he indulges a child he hardly knows, that's of no relation to him.'

Sherlock clears his throat. 'Yes, well, be that as it may, I say we take full advantage.' He pulls the now-naked toddler out of John's hands and heads towards the loo.

John watches them go, feeling quite swirled around by the last half an hour's events. But then he shakes his head at himself and his navel-gazing, and follows them.

---

John's phone buzzes while he's at work the next day, and he doesn't pay it much mind until he sees it's the day nursery. After he reads the message and is able to breathe again-- Jesus, being a father is not for the weak, is it-- he thumbs one to Sherlock. 

Did you get the updated pickup address from the minder? Trip to park rained out. 

He doesn't get a reply, not right away or in the next few hours. 

This could, of course, mean a few things. John firmly puts away the worst case scenario, and reckons a case has taken priority, seeing as Sherlock knew John was available for pickup if necessary. 

So, needless to say, he's surprised when he arrives at the given address. One, because Sherlock is there waiting. And two, because it's… 

John stares.

'John,' Sherlock says after a moment. 'I'm afraid my brother has outdone himself.' 

'Yes, well.' He coughs. 'I'm afraid he's turned an indoor football pitch into a Disneyland for toddlers.'

'As I said.'

'Jesus Christ.' He wonders how long Mycroft's been planning this. 'Wait-- Was this just because of the rain today?'

'Knowing Mycroft? Yes. Is that not a proportional response?'

John can hear the amusement in Sherlock's voice. 'Definitely not,' he replies, but his cheeks hurt from repressing a smile. 'Hang on,' he says. 'Why are you here? You didn't return my texts, I figured you were in the middle of a corpse or something.'

'Mycroft told me to stay put.'

John snorts. 'Didn't you think he might be using trick psychology to get you here?'

Sherlock scoffs. 'Soft science, that.'

'Sure.'

'Daddy! Sherlock!' John looks away from Sherlock at that particular mispronunciation of his flatmate's name, and is barreled into by a clumsy sparkly dervish. 

'What--' He automatically reaches down to pick her up, then does a double take at the elaborate butterfly painted onto nearly her whole face. It's basically a work of art, honestly, and he has no idea how someone got her to sit still for that long. 

'They are hired for speed,' Sherlock says to him, and he laughs, still impressed after all these years. 

'Incredible.'

Sherlock glances at him. 'Whether you mean the artwork or my deducing your question about the artist, you are correct.'

John ignores him and listens to his daughter chatter enthusiastically. The words "bouncy castle" and, somehow, "golf" filter out of it, and John chuckles.

Then he hears her say something that makes him double-take. 'Pardon? Say that once more, sweetheart.'

'Uncle Mycroft!' she repeats. Or at least, most of those letters. Enough to confirm.

John's jaw clenches. 'Did he tell you to call him that?'

She nods enthusiastically. 'He's fun!'

This jars John from his confused dismay, and he hears Sherlock snort, too. 'I suppose he can be, in his own way.'

'Don't lie to your daughter, John.'

John tries not to laugh, and nearly succeeds.

You're going to have a hard time topping this for her next birthday, he writes to Mycroft. He doesn't get a reply, but he supposes that's fair.

They get halfway through the relatively short walk home. Halfway. Before the heavens open up, changing from an aggressive mist to actual splotchy rain.

John swallows a curse, ducking under an awning and already anticipating Rosie wailing about prematurely losing her face art, about being cold and wet and out of doors. 

But when he looks at them, at Sherlock swinging his daughter down from where she'd been perched on his shoulders, he sees nothing but joy on her face.

Joy, and wet streaks of glittery violet paint. She's clinging to Sherlock's hands, and Sherlock looks -- Well, he looks really bloody happy, if John had to label it. But he hesitates in doing so, and resigns himself to just enjoying the moment.

'What,' he says once he's recovered his voice, 'Mycroft can't have a drone deliver us an umbrella?'

Sherlock chuckles, then sobers. 'He does adore her, you know.'

John looks at Sherlock, not quite hiding his surprise. 'And you're alright with that? With "Uncle Mycroft"?'

Sherlock's eyes flash with something, but John isn't quick enough to categorise it. 'A child should have a variety of influences in their life.'

'True, but--'

'And an expanded support structure they can rely on. I daresay Mycroft qualifies, don't you?'

John nods shortly, finding himself unable to form useful words.

Luckily, Sherlock does it for him. He sweeps Rosie back up into his arms and boops her nose, which makes John's eyes cross with cognitive dissonance but there it is all the same. 'Shall we continue walking and enjoying the rain?' the detective asks Rosie. 'And then have a nice bath and some tea? I'm sure your father will make up a fire, too.'

John swallows. 'Sure, yeah.'

Heart warm enough to hurt, he follows them out from under the cover and into the storm.

Time's too short, he reckons, to fuss about dreary weather.

[ <3 ]

[inspiration: Richard Shindell's 'The Weather'. Also consulted bubbleinc.co.uk, obviously.]

[lovelyladyabsinthewrites]

From the Ashes Pt. 36

Pairing(s): Pairing(s): Rhaegar Targaryen x Lannister!Reader, one-sided!Jaime Lannister x Lannister!Reader, Jaime Lannister x Cersei Lannister

Warnings: slow burn fic, changing povs, Cersei POV, new character introduction, plot important character, slight femxfem vibes, in the books cersei did have a thing with taena lol, cersei just wants to be a man so much

Words: 4534

Part 1  Part 2  Part 3  Part 3.5  Part 4  Part 5  Part 6  Part 7  Part 8  Part 9  Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19 Part 20 Part 21 Part 22 Part 23 Part 24 Part 25 Part 26 Part 27 Part 28 Part 29 Part 30 Part 31 Part 32 Part 33 Part 34 Part 35 Part 37 Part 38 Part 39 Part 40 Part 41 Part 42

Book Two of Dārilaros hen ōrbar se perzys (Heir of Ash and Fire)

Cersei could still hear her Uncle Kevan’s yells as she carefully maneuvered across the roped bridge that tethered the pirate ship to her father’s sieged one.

“CERSEI!! Stop!!” Kevan struggled against the men that held him tight, a blade pressed dangerously across his neck. One wrong move would end his life in seconds.

She did stop in her steps only to smile back at him. “I told you uncle, I’m not going to Dorne.”He continued to call her name even as Cersei turned on her heel “Goodbye uncle.” She was walking straight into the unknown, but even that was better than succumbing to her fate in Dorne.

Men closed in behind her, following each step she took. As she stepped over the threshold of the ship, Cersei heard Kevan Lannister’s screams turn into crude gurgles as his throat was slit.

“Lady Lannister.”

Cersei looked up at the pirate captain whom she had heard referred to as the Red Dahlia. This beautiful woman had cast aside her captain’s coat and draped it behind her chair before sitting down with a content sigh. Her white dress shirt clung to her body in a salacious way that had Cersei wondering how the Red Dahlia could possibly live among so many men without the fear of an assault. This woman held herself with such pride and power that Cersei couldn’t help but feel the green monster of jealousy rise up in her. Here this woman had everything that Cersei had dreamed of, no man could tell the Red Dahlia what she could and couldn’t do. Her men bowed down to her and fulfilled her every whim without a second thought. She had so easily executed all of the men on her father’s ship without a sign of remorse. And her men were so eager to kill for her, anything to please their goddess of a captain.

In front of her was a steel mug, dinged up from having been dropped multiple times. Cersei watched the captain pour from her personal decanter. Opposed to the mug she had been given, the decanter was artfully made. The silver that it was composed of was polished and had designs of leaves on the bottom that sprouted flowers which crawled up the sides.

The Red Dahlia notices her admiring gaze. “This was given to me as a gift from a prince in Yi Ti.”

“You didn’t steal it?”

She chuckles. “I could have but he was kind enough to relinquish it into my care.” After pouring Cersei’s serving, the Red Dahlia lounges back into her chair. Her seemingly red eyes examine the golden lady in front of her. “You didn’t show any remorse about your uncle being killed.”

While Cersei could use a strong drink, she didn’t reach out for her mug. Not yet. There were quite a few questions that she desired an answer to. “You saved me the trouble of planning an escape. What shall I call you? Or do you really enjoy people calling you the Red Dahlia?”

“You can call me that. Captain would also suffice nicely. But if you wish to know my birth name then that would be Phiobe. Not that many call me by that name nowadays. Where was your ship off to?”

“Dorne. I was to marry Prince Oberyn Martell.”

Phiobe arches a thick eyebrow in amusement. “Marrying a prince were you.”

“Was. I never intended to marry him.”

“Why not? That doesn’t sound like too bad of a tradeoff. I hear he’s a handsome man and an even stronger warrior.” Phiobe grabs her own drinking vessel and downs the serving she had poured for herself. She seemed way too laid back considering she was speaking with a prisoner which Cersei knew she was. A spoil of battle. The only thing that was keeping her alive was the prospect of more gold. In the corner of the captain’s cabin were her personal chests and jewelry boxes filled with precious treasures from Casterly Rock. Most of it was her dowry which Tywin still felt compelled to give even though it was Tywin who benefited greatly from this union.

Cersei pressed her lips together, folding her arms in front of her chest. “There are things I still have yet to do. Which is why I was all too ready to become your hostage.”

That made her smile. “Ah, you let me take you.”

“We can benefit each other.” She held onto the captain’s gaze.

“You said you knew the defense protocols and weaknesses of Casterly Rock. But from what I know of Westerosi, women are hardly privy to such knowledge. And I doubt that Lord Tywin Lannister would let such vital information such as the vault slip into the ears of someone who shouldn’t possess that knowledge. Even if you are high born, you are still a woman.” Phiobe’s cruel eyes were taunting and held a light of amusement. Cersei wouldn’t let her pierce through her shield.

Even if her words did indeed inspire bitterness. She hated being reminded of her restrictions, something that her twin had lacked due to his gender status as a male and heir to Casterly Rock. “It’s true that my father doesn’t inform of matters of our own home, but that doesn’t mean I don’t have my ways of listening in. Ever since I was a small child, I would press my ear to my father’s council room. At the time I didn’t understand much of what they spoke but I forced myself to retain all that they said. I do know how to get into the vault. How else was I to raise the funds for the skill of an assassin to murder my sister?”

The Red Dahlia laughed, her curls bouncing about her shoulders. Even as she laughed, her hand that held her mug was ever steady. “Astonishing. I must admit that I owe you an apology.”

Her admit of some sort of guilt confused Cersei who curled her nails deeper into her palms. What was her game?

Phiobe explained to her “You see, the moment I found you in that room, I immediately assumed you were some weak, spoiled lady who has probably been waited on hand and foot since the day she was born. Here is this beautiful, stupid girl who probably doesn’t realize what is going on. I obviously didn’t see the thorns of the rose I was plucking.”

Offense was not the feeling that immediately came to Cersei. All of this seemed to genuinely entertain the Red Dahlia. She looked like a child who was given a new toy. “While I was right about the spoiled lady part, I don’t think you’re exactly stupid. Tell me what this sister did to you that garners such discontent. You were willing to steal from your own father. You didn’t even bat an eyelash when my men killed your uncle. You must really want her dead.”

Where did she start?

Cersei wet her lips with the tip of her tongue. From the moment of her sister’s conception Cersei had hated her. “She took my world from me and ruined our mother.”

“That’s quite the accusation, but does that really warrant a death sentence?”

She wanted to yell at her that (y/n) had robbed Cersei of the one true love in her life. Jaime had switched alliances, one sister for another. Utter betrayal on both of their parts that still had Cersei seething at the mere thought. (y/n) had taken everything from her and Jaime. . . he might as well have been dead to her too. Jaime possibly doing the greatest damage.

That hate bled through her calm demeanor that she had tried to convey. Her inner rage must have been easy to read for Phiobe for all facade of delight fell. She took a long sip of her drink. “Suppose it’s none of my business. But I want to know what I would be investing in. You said you sent an assassin after her?”

“Several. Someone has been protecting her. I felt I needed to take things into my own hands.”

“Have you ever killed anyone?”

“Yes.” That single word flowed so easily from her mouth. It was something she hadn’t even told Jaime. Even before (y/n)’s miserable maid, there had been her childhood friend. The first time had been so easy, the same couldn’t be said for the second. She couldn’t remember the maid’s name. What she could recall was the the steely gaze of determination as the girl put up a fight. Cersei had been too prepared though. The girl never saw the club in her hand. Striking it against her skull for a few good measures made Cersei physically exhausted after but the thrill of it was raising her spirits.

She knew that when it came time to end (y/n)’s life that she would relish in it more than the other two. Finally she would be able to live a life without such a tumor as her younger sister. None of this would have happened if Cersei had taken it upon herself to begin with and slit (y/n)’s throat during that night of the fire. It had been too merciful a death, Cersei originally thought when staring at her sister’s sleeping form as her maid lay dead on the floor. Ravaged from the poison that had been slipped into her drink, (y/n)’s face had lost most of its fullness and she resembled someone who was already dying. She hadn’t even woken during the altercation with her maid, sleeping soundly with milk of the poppy running through her system. Her husband having abandoned her when the threat of his own assassination arose.

(y/n) shouldn’t have survived the fire. By all means she should have been charred by the time the fire died down enough for people to start searching for any bodies. The only one in her room had been that of the maid. Her bedding and mattress burned completely while the bedframe still remained, black and about to collapse upon itself. There had been nothing left of (y/n).

That fact bothered Cersei and made her nights restless. With the disappearance of Jaime, she knew the truth. Somehow, Jaime had rescued (y/n) from her fiery death. Spirited her somewhere safe. Cersei knew it couldn’t be in Westeros, too many people knew of Ser Jaime Lannister and Princess (y/n) Targaryen. So they had to be in Essos.

Cersei becomes all too aware of Phiobe’s calculating eyes as she observed the golden lady with much interest. “If you help me, I will give you anything you want. My family has the means for any price. From the correspondence of my last assassin I know for certain she’s in Essos. Where, I’m not entirely sure. My assassin hasn’t got back to me in quite a while. This one I was sure wouldn’t fail.”

“Men are prone to stepping down on jobs if they see a pretty face. It’s happened in many tales.”

Firmly Cersei shakes her head, recalling (y/n)’s eyes that were too big for her face and her plump bottom lip that jutted out. “No. (y/n) definitely does not have a pretty face. Not one that would make a man give up the fortune I was offering him. This assassin isn’t like any mortal man. He’s a darkin.”

“If a darkin can’t do it, what makes you think you can? Even if you have killed someone, you said so yourself that someone is protecting her. What makes you think you would be a match for them if even the darkin couldn’t succeed.”

“Do not doubt my hate for her. I will do whatever possible to make sure she’s no longer breathing. I will spend the rest of my life to end her.” Besides, she had already acknowledged that if Jaime got in her way. . . well, she would have to kill him too. That thought pained her, even made her stomach toss and turn.

Phiobe is quiet for a moment before taking another swig from her mug. “There aren’t many female pirates. It is a capital that is run entirely by ruthless men. It’s hard for a woman to gain power and control as a man would. I saw your face when you found out that I was the captain. Obviously I wasn’t always as revered as I am now.” Getting up from her seat, Phiobe wanders over to a tall curio cabinet and from a key that was hidden between her breasts. Unlocking it, her nimble hands retrieve a finely polished human skull.

Her voice grows quiet but it still holds strength and even reverence. “This was the head of the previous captain. Pirates are quite democratic with their captains being voted in by the men. When the previous captain refused the vote that favored me, I was forced to make him abdicate with my sword. In this world of our’s, if we desire to gain any true power for ourselves, you have to be willing to crack open a few skulls.”

Delicately she puts it down on the table in front of Cersei. Once upon a time that skull had skin and muscle that covered it’s naked skeleton. Now it was a mere trinket among the others in the Red Dahlia’s collection.

Cersei picks it up and rolls it around in her hands. Surprisingly it wasn’t that heavy as she weighed it for a few moments. This woman has done all that Cersei wished she had. Phiobe had strength and respect from her fellow men. Why did she always have to be jealous of what others had? Cersei wanted in that moment to be her. To show to her father that even a woman could be held on a pedestal such as he. Her sharp nails scraped along the skull, following the lines that curved around the crown. So far Cersei had only succeeded in killing pathetic little girls. If she truly wanted to be like Phiobe, she had to kill a man of power to gain it.

“The plunder my men took from your ship was great. Some want to put a ransom on your head.” The way she gazed at that skull was almost a loving one. Cersei hands it back to her. In the back of her throat there’s a hum as she places it back in her cabinet. Among men, she still wielded a feminine gait; her wide hips swaying from side to side and the pride she held her head with. “Here’s the thing, here’s a civil war in Westeros correct? I heard the capital was in shambles and the country had been all but consumed by wildfire. The gold in your daddy’s coffers may be vast, but wars cost money. Those mines can’t supply gold forever. He might have to think hard between paying your ransom or funding military aid. Even if Casterly Rock is at its weakest right now, who knows how stocked your vaults might be.”

“Last I heard, Rhaegar’s army had been dealt a devastating loss just a few miles outside of King’s Landing. That was about a week ago but as far as I know my father is still standing in King Aerys’ good graces. For the meantime anway.” Cersei could only imagine her father’s face when he gets the news of her capture and Ser Kevan’s death. She wished she could see Tywin’s face. Would any of it phase him or would his permanent scowl still be present?

The only time that infuriating glare was off of his face had been when Joanna was still among the living. Joanna knew just exactly what Tywin needed in order to make him smile. The sunbeam of their household. Until she wasn’t. Cersei had known the exact moment when she had fallen from grace: when Joanna announced that she was pregnant yet again.

She’s back down in her seat and takes the mug she had poured for Cersei, nursing it against her own chest. Phiobe shrugs when Cersei scowls at her. “Even so, I can still get a good price for you. Think of it as another step in your path to kill your sister. This can benefit you too.”

Cersei didn’t like the way the captain had said that.

“My connection in Yi Ti is a prince. Certain items in your collection have been set aside specifically for him. I know he would greatly appreciate your personal tea set. It’s very beautiful. Just like I know he’d appreciate you.”

Immediately Cersei looks past Phiobe’s shoulder to the open window behind her. They were already miles into the ocean, nothing but sea caressing the ship along it’s way. “You plan to sell me as a whore?”

Leaning forward on her elbow, she smiles at Cersei. “Don’t think of it like that. From Yi Ti you have access to Essos. And my prince is a reasonable man. If you’re nice he might even help you.”

Her snarl couldn’t be helped as she leapt from her chair, nearly throwing it aside had she the actual strength. This didn’t come as a surprise for her, this woman was a pirate after all. All things considering, this was a good opportunity for Cersei. It was what she wanted. The thought of having to hand over her body to a stranger was what rose her temper.

“Sit back down and listen to me.” Phiobe ordered her like she was one of her crew. A sudden chill enveloped the room and for a moment Cersei was all too aware that it was just the two of them. This woman who had so lovingly held the skull of someone she had murdered like it was an old lover.

A shamed dog she must have resembled as Cersei clenched her fists and walked back to the chair. Obedient, Cersei had to be obedient at least for now. How many times had Jaime done something deserving repercussions for his disobedient nature? Many times, yet each and every incident did not yield a punishment. He got away because he was heir to Casterly Rock, a boy just being a boy. When Cersei did the same things and been just as disobedient, a lecture was always served to her as well as her having to do penance.

“Women who you deem whores hold quite a different reputation in Yi Ti. They are imperial concubines, nearly a royal lady just like yourself. If they’re good to the prince, the prince is just as good in return. He can raise someone up from poverty into the ribbons of royalty. These concubines can take a leap themselves once the prince deems them worthy. But never forget that it is hard work for others of their rank want to tear them down to be the one who the prince favors. You have to be vicious.” How were her eyes like polished garnets? Such a rich hue of red that seemed to reach out and grip Cersei by the throat. “I think you have what it takes.”

Her tongue felt dry and heavy, regretting not having her drink now. “Is that what you did? Become one of these concubines who have to sleep with this prince and fight their way to the top?”

A hint of sadness laced her words. “No. . . my path. . . wasn’t as luxurious. I met him a little before I became the captain. My predecessor had been on friendly enough terms with him but that was because the captain paid a heavy tithe that was bringing the crew near to ruin. I confronted the prince and threatened him to lower the price at the very least or we would lower his head onto a pike. He thought I was amusing and agreed. He encouraged me to become the captain. Even the quartermaster I had brought along with me agreed.”

There’s a knock that interrupts them, calling for the captain’s presence for a few moments. The Red Dahlia nods and dawns her coat once more. Cersei was to stay locked in there for the time being. “You might as well get acquainted. We will be sharing this room after all.” With that the door was closed, leaving Cersei to snoop about.

She did so hesitantly, not knowing if there were any traps. The room was no bigger than her wash room had been but at least it had a lovely view of the ocean and it’s thrashing waters. In the alcove in the wall was the captain’s bed partially hidden by velvet drapery.

The boards beneath her creaked as she moved along the square shape.

So many items from the captain’s voyages were stored in her room. Phiobe had probably seen the entire world by now while Cersei had been kept away in her gilded cage. She rolled around the story that Phiobe had told, of how she became the captain of ruthless men. It was because she was just as merciless. Her stomach still twisted with the idea of having to submit to a strange man, Cersei knew it was the best way to get to where (y/n) was. Viewing a map of the continent, it did bother her how far Yi Ti was from the main cities of Essos but if what Phiobe said was true then the prince might very well help her. That is if she became the dominant concubine. She promised to do whatever possible to kill her sister. This would not deter her.

“The ship was found off the coast of the Reach. There was no one left alive and no sign of Lady Cersei.” He didn’t relish in telling his liege lord such terrible news. Tywin, as usual, didn’t show any vulnerable emotion that betrayed how he felt. “And my brother?” The soldier shakes his head. “He was found with his throat slit.” Kevan. . . what travesties had he met with that resulted in his demise? And where was his daughter? Tywin went on in a rather bored tone asking of any signs of the culprit who did this, all while thinking that his daughter meant for this to happen. No, sometimes these coincidences just happen. While he would admit Cersei was cunning, she lacked discipline and restraint. With her lacking both, there was no way for her to have planned for this. Tywin made sure of that. How did he look to Westeros? A lord with no children left; one dead, the other three missing. Resentful thoughts toward (y/n) started to rear it’s frightening head. The smear of it al. . . He must not think that. What would Joanna have to say? Even now he nearly reached to his side, expecting her hand to be there in anticipation.

Fool, she’s been dead for years. For a moment he rests his eyes on the very chair that Joanna used to sit in, keeping her husband company as he worked long hours with his face nearly pressed to the paper below him. She had an adorable sense of humor, the way she viewed the world was equally admirable. None of their children resembled her one bit except maybe. . .

It was like he was seeing double when (y/n) and Joanna smiled simultaneously. Beautiful and utterly endearing that Tywin would lose himself in the moment. A smile that read that life was good and filled with warmth. Their laugh had even been similar too. A laugh that came right from inside.

Yet every time (y/n) caught sight of him, the girl clammed up and averted her eyes as fast as she could. That child was scared of everything around her like an abused animal. His pen hand hovered over the parchment but his mind was drawing a blank. There was yet no knowledge of who ransacked his personal ship and took Cersei. As for Rhaegar’s remaining military strength, there was no news of that either. Scouts from King’s Landing spotted them heading east toward Storm’s End, retreating back to Robert Baratheon’s fortress. For the moment, the odds were not in favor of Rhaegar.

“Have they obtained my brother’s body?”

“On it’s way back.” He confirmed with a low bow. “I’m sorry to be delivering such bad news.”

Tywin grunts and the young man knows already that that was his cue to live which he promptly did.

He knew he needed to write to his brother and sister. Genna would absolutely be concerned about Cersei as she had a major role in their upbringing after Joanna passed away. Her presence at Casterly Rock was the last thing he wanted as he grappled with the fact that Rhaegar was now on the losing side of the war. That meant that he would have to ultimately favor Aerys now. Until Rhaegar contacts him, Tywin was left with no choice. He had to think about Casterly Rock. . . With all his children either dead or missing, was there really anything left of the massive manor? The halls were dreadfully quiet and not for the first time Tywin is all too aware of his lack of an heir. After this war, what would happen to the Lannister name? Kevan was gone now too, all that was left of the four sons of Tytos Lannister was Tywin. He would have to pass on Casterly Rock to a nephew or even a cousin. Tywin had always hoped that Jaime would take his place, even after he had been knighted there had always been hope that maybe Jaime would finally grow up and see the responsibility he had back home. There would be none of that now. Jaime had been missing for a little more than a year now, coming up on another one. No sightings had been reported, as Tywin had sent out the word to give him any news on his eldest son.

He didn’t dare entertain the idea of Jaime being dead. He refused to think about it. For as cocky as Jaime was, he had reason to be so. Many had said that Jaime was one of the greatest swordsmen in Westeros, almost threatening to dethrone those of Barristan Selmy and Arthur Dayne for that title. That boy had never been serious about anything except sword fighting.

Aerys had accepted Jaime into the Kingsguard just to wound Tywin. Any little thing, Aerys would take advantage of if he knew that it would bruise the Lord of Casterly Rock’s pride. They had grown up together and the king knew Tywin almost as much as Tywin knew Aerys. The rotting of his mind must have erased much of his memory, that much was clear from his last correspondence with Varys. He had been receiving many worrisome whispers about the state of affairs in the capital. The people were now starving and Tywin knew when dogs were hungry enough, they would resort to anything. Especially violence toward the man who had caused them grief. A coupdetat was a very likely scenario now. While Rhagar was down for the count for the moment, the people of King's Landing were becoming another enemy for Aerys. His madness would lead him to get ripped apart by his own people.

Now that would be wonderful news indeed.

Taglist:

@boywivlove

@esposadomd

@domoron

@yentroucnagol

@enchantingcupcakecollectionfan

@bregarc

[queenofallimagines]

oh good gods pls your luciferian hcs made me YELL they’re so good lmao i was side eyeing my altar and space for lucifer the WHOLE TIME

do you think you could do a part two? and if possible, nsfw? if not thats more than okay!! thank you and i hope you’re doing so good!!!

🕷️anon

Absolutely 🕷anon! AND LMAO YEAH I COULD FEEL HIM SIDE EYEING ME ACROSS THE ROOM AS I WROTE THESESGSHSJS asking the old man “why are you like this” whenever lucifer in game does something corny😭 ik he’s sick of me

Lucifer:

- Okay so since part 1 was when you arrived this will be more about day to day life in the next term

- Right off the bat I’m imagining minor petty spats that the other brothers are like…. Wtf is going on here

- Like y’all have been glaring across the table at one another for 30 mins and haven’t spoken a word

- WAY more picky w offerings lmao

- Is literally going to be super extra about it for no reason other than to bother you

- For example! When you give an offering to oshun( African orisha they’re like the HR in the heaven department just above the angel hierarchy) you have to eat a little first bc she was poisoned once so it’s like to show you’re in good faith

- Lucifer will ask you to do that w food you don’t like

- “Eat some”

- “I got this for you-“

- “And I want you to taste some😌”

- “….. do I really I have to???”

- “Are you telling me what to do w MY offering🤨”

- MAKE FUN OF HIM PLEASE ITS SO FUNNY!!

- A lot of people ( white peoples I fear😔) be talking about he only accepts blood offerings and you have to sell your soul or whatever and stuff but literally this man will be giddy over a red candle w gold glitter

- Write all your assignments in sparky pen so when he looks at them he can’t hold back a smile

- As a joke you leave crystals associated with him in his coat pockets but he will never take them out

- Congratulations you played ya self

- You doing the stuff you do for him out of habit will fluster him if you say it

- “Why are you waking up so early to get ready?”

- “Hm? For Lucifer”

- “No im not gunna drink this tea it’s an offering🙄”

- Please don’t tell his brothers he will lock himself in his office💀

- Whenever you google “what can I do for Lucifer” 9/10 the first thing will be taking care of yourself

- So when your self caring w asmo and you go “oh I do this bc Lucifer likes it”

- The house will expose in chaos

- Mammon demanding you tell him your card numbers “for him” LMAO

- They’re all super jealous

- Gotta tell em its nothing personal he’s just always been there for you

- Whew if he reached out to YOU?

- The silence in the house REAL LOUD😭

- Belphegor waking up and going “ik you fucking lying!!!”

- You’re all confused like???

- “…..you said Lucifer… reached out to YOU?”

- “??????yeah????”

- “As in… he ASKED you to work with him?”

- “Yeah, I couldn’t stop thinking about his name and he showed up on my door one day”

- Lmao belphie and mammon are the LOUDEST FR

- “YOU CHOSE A HUMAN?? MR I HATE HUMANS BECAUSE THEYRE WEAK??📸”

- OH SO THERES MORE THAN ONE FAKE BITCH IN THIS HOUSE HUH?”

- lmao he’s sitting there red faced clenching his fist like

- “Listen I can explain”

- He cannot explain😭

- Can’t even say he did it on a whim

- “He really picked me up like a wet cat lmao”

- “Mc I am literally begging you to shut the FUCK up”

- Oh maaaaan diavolo will get a Kick out of this!!

- Solomon is very salty

- “But I can’t get a pact😒😒”

- He’s literally going to double down and bother him more

- “Lucifer you never told me you were taking on disciples🥺”

- “I didn’t think it was that important lord diavolo simply to pass the time”

- Simeon is laughing but internally having the feels bc he’s like 🥹 “even after all this time you still choose to be a guardian angel”

- Will tell you embarrassing stories about him he is now super close to you

- “Lucifer being the lords favorite was also the best one at singing👀 he loved music”

- That’s tru btw lmao Lucifer was like one of the angels who liked singing the most thats what makes humans and angels so alike- love for music and dancing-

- Call him your morning star and he MELTS

- Back to why were really here😌

- Call him that during sex or when you first wake up and he’s on cloud nine

- FUCK HIM DURING GOLDEN HOUR🗣🗣

- He’s literally he rises in the morning for a reason!!

- He will deadass purpose bc imagine riding him as the sun stars peaking over the horizon

- He’s under you moaning looking up at you w the most glazed over love struck eyes

- The sun filtering through the window and hitting him juuuuuuuust right

- That it looks like he has a halo again

- Breathlessly calling your name as you grind down on him

- He barely manages to get out that he’s close before you caress some of his hair out of his face

- “Cum for me then my Morningstar”

- Time freezes for like 16 seconds and his eyes are getting teary

- He hugs you close as he starts rutting his hips into you harder

- Will cum and keep going until he’s about to pass out

- Holding you like a lifeline

- When you can finally breathe and think straight he pulls you in for a kiss

- Literally stealing your breath away

- Will say I love you in the most honest voice ever while smiling at you with teary eyes

- probably won’t stop touching you all day might as well just spend it in bed

-is embarrassed by body worship calling it now

- be HE can do that but if YOU sink to your knees behind his desk and hold eye contact he’s getting nervous

-“just showing my devout gratitude💕”

- embarrassed how fast he finishes

- if you keep doing to overstimulate him he’s putty in your hands

- this man is very soft he will crack at the slightest sign of domestic romance

- bring him coffee when he wakes up?

- he’s already selected a wedding venue

- I always thought it would be cute if he gave you his ring

- HILARIOUS IF HE DOSENT TELL YOU LMAO

- You swing by the celestial realm and it’s crickets and you’re like ??? Fuck is y’all starring at??🤨

- Simeon hums and says that nobody expected lucifer to get married much less to a human. How he was never one to put anything above his responsibilities

- Excuse me?

- “You’re wearing the right of light,yes? He doesn’t just give that to anyone dear. You two are bonded for life now🥰”

- “HELLO????”

[thelazykiwi]

My Current Mods! 50+ 🥰

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ Hello Kiwis! I made a video showcasing these lovely mods for you all! I hope you guys like it! ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

-CAS Mods:

1. CAS Background - New Leaf - Theplumbobfairy

2. Stand Still in CAS - MizoreYukii

3. CAS LIGHTING - CITY LIGHT - SIMPLYANJUTA

4. More Columns in CAS - weerbesu

5. Tidy CAS - Yoru Queen of Night Sims

6. EA Eyelashes Remover - Kijiko

7. More Traits in CAS - thepancake1 and MizoreYukii

8. 100 Base Game Traits Pack - Vicky Sims

9. TODDLER Traits Pack - Vicky Sims

-Gameplay Mods:

1. MCCC - Deaderpool

2. UI Cheats Extension - weerbesu

3. Wonderful Whims - TURBODRIVER

4. Relationship & Pregnancy Overhaul - Lumpinou

5. Have Some Personality Please! - PolarBearSims

6. Meaningful Stories - Roburky

7. Fanart Maps - Dershayan

8. SimDa Dating App - LitteMsSam

9. Know your Co-Workers and Classmates - Phaeriia

10. Pet Frogs & Insects - KawaiiStacie

11. The Mood Pack Mod - Lumpinou

12. First Impressions - Lumpinou

13. Pregnancy Cravings - Plumlace

14. Child Birth Mod - PandaSama

15. Foster Family - LittleMsSam

16. Immersive Social Bunny - Plumlace

17. Pets Everywhere - Kuttoe

18. No Sick, Dirty, Sad and Hungry Cats & Dogs - LittleMsSam

19. Grannies Cookbook - Littlebowbub

20. «Dawning dew» DRINKS DELIVERY - CubiertoDeFlores

21. Little Chef’s Toy Kitchen - Ravasheen

22. Toddler Creativity Pack - PandaSama

23. Open Love Life - Lumpinou

24. 'No Strings Attached' - Lumpinou

25. Better Romance - Simler90

26. The One With All The Romance - katie_mods

27. Bed Cuddle - thepancake1 and MizoreYukii

28. Live in Business - LittleMsSam

29. More Buyable Venues and new Venue Types - LittleMsSam

30. ISO Love Photos - Ravasheen

31. Photographic Memory - Ravasheen

-Build/Buy Mods:

1. Better BuildBuy - TwistedMexi

2. TOOL - TwistedMexi

3. OMSP Shelf - Picture Amoebae

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2. No Fade On Everything - MizoreYukii

3. NoGlo - Luumia

4. NoBlu - Luumia

5. Gshade

6. Storybook Preset - Ellcrze

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Please respect these creators and the rules that they have based around using their mods. Do not reupload or claim it as your own, they work very hard and deserve the recognition that they get!

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~Kiwi

[jellogram]

Evangelicals like to say that we should have the ten commandments taught in schools because it's "the basis for America's laws" but like. in what way. No really, let's dissect this statement. I have time.

You shall have no other gods before Me.

This contradicts the concept of religious freedom, which is enshrined in the constitution's bill of rights. One of the first laws ever made in this country was verbatim against this rule.

2. You shall not make idols.

See above. Also we literally have a whole singing competition about this!

3. You shall not take the name of the LORD your God in vain.

Very simple rule, very not illegal and never has been as far as I can tell.

4. Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy.

This would actually be a nice one. Let's outlaw making minimum wage employees work on Sundays. Let's see if the evangelicals even want that to happen.

5. Honor your father and your mother.

This one's admittedly sort of a law, though not the way evangelicals intend it. Children have no rights and are at the whims of their parents 99% of the time. We'll call this one half credit for the evangelicals, even if the original rule didn't really imply the way its enforced.

6. You shall not murder.

Ding ding ding! That's a real law! However, it was a law before the commandments (see: the Code of Ur-Nammu, written centuries before Exodus)

7. You shall not commit adultery.

We do have laws against this, believe it or not. They used to be more common but nowadays only 17 states still have them and they are rarely enforced. When the law was adopted will vary from state to state, but it's definitely not a vital structural law in the US, which is their claim, so I'm not counting it.

8. You shall not steal.

See number 6.

9. You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.

Half credit on this one. Perjury is a crime, but evangelicals like to expand this commandment to cover all forms of lying and the legal system disagrees.

10. You shall not covet.

Come on now. Coveting is like, a core component of capitalism. The United States was, much like number 1, built on the opposite of this rule.

Final score: .5 + 1 + 1 + .5 = 3

So 30% of the commandments are even vaguely related to laws we have in the US, and that's being generous. Especially when just as many are blatant contradictions.

I think what this means is that evangelicals don't actually like, know anything. The commandments were the first rules they were ever taught as children and they were also taught that the United States is godly and holy, so clearly it must have been drawn from the world's sole source of godliness and holiness, the Bible.