#I love them all sm you dont even know
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
I'm a bit late, but drew some of my friends' OCs for friends week! [OCs belong to: @bluepriestess, @bokatan, @bleumanouche, @dishonesthearts, @majortomiscominghome, @ragedaisy, @thespiral, @vault-heck]
#I love them all sm you dont even know#I have a second set of these planned (and a smaller non-fallout one) so stay tuned#fallout#fallout oc#fallout new vegas#fallout 3#fallout 4#fnv#fo3#fo4#oc-tober#bweirdOCtober#drawing4nuclearwinter
54 notes
·
View notes
Text
regardless of the "learn how to be alone" dravel, being lonely actually is really bad for your mental health and can be very painful :p
#i've been doing so so bad#and i've had breakdowns frequently this past week#and i dont have friends or family or a partner or even a therapist lmao#so im alone and thus only feeling worse and worse#my mom has been in an unusual bad mood lately so i havent been able to talk to her at all#but today she asked me to go to her to the store bc she wanted me to buy smth#and on the way we watched the snails and she found them cute (she has never appreciated snails before)#and now i instantly feel a bit better and a bit more normal after only 15 min of hanging out with her#it's so easy for ppl who have family or friends or a partner to judge and criticize me#but like.... u have ppl close to u and u know nothing abt what it feels like to be in my position#it's so condescending and lacking of compassion#i dont understand your pov either but at least im not TELLING YOU directly how much i judge you#like ppl judge me so hard for feeling miserable in my loneliness... but it's easy for u to say those things#like u dont feel my despairing loneliness bc u have a fkn partner. u have fkn friends. or a fkn family. easy for u to judge me from up ther#anyway im much better at being alone than most ppl bc im still alive and im enduring the pain every day#other ppl have ppl around them 💀 only others who are all alone can understand how much it hurts#and it wont be fixed by loving yourself or loving to be alone or whatever other bs they use to criticize u ._.#being alone IS harmful to your health. there are studies on it and im not just making that shit up#i AM allowed to feel pain bc i dont have anyone#ugh esp ppl w partners who can receive physical and romantic attention.... when they judge me.....#stfu forever u have no idea how i feel 💀 and u could never know simply by having had a partner at all...#but yeah. it bothers me too bc i NEVER see someone on here and go#damn i hate this sm i gotta let them know by sending them anons or vague post abt them#like i dont get up in their faces and tell them all my judgemental or bitter or hateful thoughts abt them#even this post is only bc other ppl have taken the liberty to without my consent or having asked tell me directly how pathetic i am#how im not allowed to feel alone. how i have a victim mentality so on and so forth#i never tell other ppl things like that. even if i think them (which honestly i rarely do unless they're extremely toxic TO other ppl) i wo#say shit abt it to them.... ??? like why?#when i sometimes see like ppl have friends on here or talk abt their partners i can feel bitter and jealous#bc im surrounded by seeing things i so deeply crave but im not a humanbeing worth of those things
17 notes
·
View notes
Text
i like overthink everything now it makes me feel so dumb. i used 2 be able to just talk 2 ppl but nowadays every single thing im like Is that actually going to make them hate me. Yes probably. and then i just dont respond which makes ppl hate me. this is how it is
#ive been overthinking 1 light and casual mildly funny response to something but im worried itll come off as disrespectful and dismissive And#make me seem stupid and uncaring all at the same time. and also be seen as insulting. but like idt itd be insulting right like. im not#saying what it is so ig for all you guys know im like I mean if i say All your shit suck ball and i hateit kys. <- thats not the thing i was#going to say#like it doesnt matter now the window for response is closed now but i feel stupid bc i shouldve just said it it was light and casual. im so#bad at keeping convos gojng im convinced im not going to survive. In like a light and casual way like in a He will not make it through the#winter joke way. dw. im not going to do anything bc i had One failed interaction. if i was going to do anythjng itd be bc of the 8000000#other failed interactions. But im not. anyways. it just makes me feel so useless 😭 like i want to respond i want to talk to ppl so bad but#i feel like i mess things up Irreparably every time i speak OR i take too LONG overthinking my response and then i just cant respond bc its#been too long and then its been 3 years and the only messages ive ever sent r my intro message and 1 message 2 years ago that nobody#responded to at all. or the conversation stopped immediately after. and like i used to be better at this i was lkke. talkative in a couple#muts servers like. i talked 2 ppl daily in those servers and i had fun and like. I was an important part of the group and i felt like it#but i just feel like such an outsider for Everything and its literally my fault bc i cant just like. Talk. The explosion. bc im always like#im gonna try im gonna do it this time im gonna get it back im going to finally be Good connor and im going to fix it all and make a Good#solid friend group and ill find HEALTHY LOVE and i wont selfsabotage and ill move out and have a job and ill balance it well and ill start#all my hobbies and ill have a great routine and be so loveable and on top of it and not stressed and content and happy and roll with the#punches and then theres a single hiccup and im like Well fuckinf whatever im going to be an unemployed hermit forever and im going to die b4#im 25 anyways so Who cares and also im digging a little hole for myself. and its like. AUGHH ik i just have to persevere and overcome but#even saying that feels so stupid its not fucking hard its Talking to ppl. like. i literally if ive ever said a word to you i had to think#avt it and strategize how to respond right even for like. like. it makes it sound like its not genuine it is#like for example i want to say hey i love your art! but then i freak out and im like thats not normal thats like a rly generic comment they#hear that all the time theyll thjnk im being polite and my brains like hrmmm rewrite Your art changed my life. It shaped me. Ill never be#the same. Nad im like ok too far overcorrected go back and the sentence generator is like Your art has colors 💯 like. GOD. WHY IS IT SO#difficult. and then usually i either just dont say anythinf and feel awful abt it 4ever OR i send it on anon and then i spend like 15#minutes ibsessively slightly tweaking the apelling and capitalization and punctuation to make sure it doesnt seem like its me just in case#it Is the worst possible thing to say but then i see the response and itll be like AWWW TYSM :] THIS MEANS A LOT or whathaveyou and i feel#stupid bc i couldve just Told them this to their face and it wouldve been a good positive interaction we had. but instead i had 2 hide and#tyoe entirely differently so they couldnt sniff me from my typing style. and it soesnt even feel like the thanks is actually 4 me bc i#tweaked the message sm. and it still makes me happy that the oersons hapoy but its like. that couldve been a nice mutual interaction#like not that i need a personal ty i compliment ppl when i Want to compliment ppl and when its genuine yk. i dont do it so i get mutualpoint
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
#zevie plays hsr#HEJSNDNMDD WHERE DO I START#THIS WAS MY FAV LIL PLANET ARC THING#i loved the dream stuff i loved all the people i met!!!!!!!!#ROBIN IS SO CUTE IM HAPPY I GOT HER NOW THAT IVE MET HER#robin you are so amazing#I WAS SO HAPPY THAT EVERYONE WAS HERE#welt Dan heng himeko march and stelle ?!?!? EVERYONE!!!!! i loved how big the group was hsjdkckck omg#boothill black swan acheron firefly (blade was ? there ? kind of ? he drove her?) BUT YOU KNOW!!!!#so many people!!!!!#sunday#i have thoughts about sunday but im in no head space to even try to articulate them#HEJSNNDND#OMG#IT WAS GOOD#aventurine !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#my fav character so far!!!!!!!!!! i love his backstory so bad#the scene where the other aventurine was exposing his personality shejdjjsnd that’s when i was like mhm mhm!!! great guy love that sm#BABY AVENTURINE IS SO CUTE!!!!!!!!!#love his character so bad but again not in a space to try and say anything that isn’t keyboard spam rn#HEY#YOU KNOW#I WAS CRYING WHEN ROBIN HUGGED SUNDAY#UTS OKAY THAT IM SOBBING RIGHT?#I WAS FULL ON ‘😭😭😭’#SNIFFLE#clockie you’re so cute#I DONT WANNA LEAVE PENACONY#this was so fun
12 notes
·
View notes
Text
decided to leave my job and i'm gonna fr gonna cryyyyy
#literally can't work with my new boss bc i can't trust her#she went to the head of the department with complaints abt me without ever speaking to me or giving me any indication she was unhappy#and various other reasons im not happy w management and the school in general#HOWEVER#i love the kids sm and im gonna miss them and worry abt them 😭😭😭😭#im literally scared for some of them bc it feels like the other teachers have no empathy for some of my favorite kids#one of them who is so so sweet and when he cries i'm the girst to comfort him bc everyone else thinks he needs to toughen up 😭#also my new boss sucks so so bad and is gonna be such a bad influence on him and all the other kids#and my main co teacher said she's gonna quit if i do so i cant even beg her to look out for my babies and take care of them 😭💔#and it would be unprofessional to mention any concerns to the parents but genuinely some of the kids would be better off elsewhere#like im actually worried about it#i dont want some of the really sweet sensitive kids to lose their sweetness bc they're being treated unkindly#and the worst bullies and spoiled kids are the ones the teachers dote on#so it encourages some of the sweet ones to act out for attention#anyway 💔#i really do need to go tho#and i'm sure i'll love the kids at my new job#but im so sadddd#also its unlikely i can find a well paying job w this age group even tho i love this age group#its basically impossible not to get attached to them at this age and i get to pick them up and hold and cuddle them and stuff#and you cant really do that with the older kids sadly#literally on the verge of tears even seriously thinking abt leaving#things have been p bad for a while due to management but i never seriously considered leaving bc i love the kids so much#but i literally can't see a future here#and my new boss clearly hates me and im worried she's going to try to get me fired#she already made up a bunch of lies about me and its only been three weeks#anyway i only make 15 an hour so hopefully i'll at least get more somewhere else and i know i'll still love the kids#its just really hard#which is why i've stayed this long#i was p unhappy before my new boss even started bc of the way they treated my old boss
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
nooo like reading maria janion's such comprehensive overview of vampires and what defines a vampire and how the myth changes through times and authors, as entirely expected, has contributed to my regis brainrot.
because though it's obvious how many tropes regis subverts as he literally talks about himself, it's more overwhelming when they're all summarized focused on examples from across history and the literature canon, and pretty much hitting none of them or fucking with all of them. because it's not that he just doesn't fit in within his own fantasy universe, but that he doesn't fit in within the broader canonical definition...
"my personal vision of fantasy (...) he is not the typical vampire bloodsucker, according to the dictates of the canon" ... uggghhhh sapkowski, in his witcher, by challenging all genre expectations and tropes, creates all of these characters that don't fit in anywhere, neither in their universe or in the broader canon. and thus, can only find fraternity with each other
i was just reading like 'so... so he doesn't fit in *anywhere*... 🥺'. regis in baptism of fire explaining how he doesn't conform to either vampiric expectations of vampires (socially, for his personal principles) nor of human expectations of vampires (biologically, for his literal existence). but it even goes farther when you look beyond the witcher and to the broader literary and mythological canon. in practically every understanding of a vampire he would not be recognized as one of them... and does he even want to.
#> not a vampire by the majority of definitions#> born a vampire#> doesnt live as a vampire#> when people find out they are curious and apprehensive abojt him being a vampire#imagine some bullshit question like ‘but do you FEEL like a vampire’#honestly. this is how i feel about my gender <3#'and then people fetishize me and it's weird' - he literally understood everything there is to understand. regis honorary lgbt#'honorary' ... im jk lol#isn't this most of the heroes of the witcher though#milva: 'i just feel like i dont even fit the definition of a woman' | regis (not-vampire): 'felt' | cahir (not-nilfgaardian): 'felt'#the elbow-high diaries#i would stop thinking about regis but also i cant sorry :p#c: regis#everyone in the hanza and their duality... they're all half-one thing half-another#call my favorite characters coffee... because you know you put that half-and-half into them#me: biracial and nonbinary crying 'idk why i relate to these witcher characters so much'#witcher characters: cannot be defined by one half and live inbetween two worlds not fitting in either#WE UNDERSTANDED !#every time i start thinking abt this again i start humming 'here on the island of misfit toys...'#witcher/baptism of fire is like: moreso than how you personally identity your identity is determined by your social group views and actions#and that is why i love it sm. on top of being anti-war and also being funny and introspective and beautiful
14 notes
·
View notes
Text
Happy Birthday @cashweasel beloved, have a soft kiyazan non confession confession, love you and these two idiots sm and I hope your day was amazing
#my art#kiyazan#oc: Kiara#Yazan Hadidi#certified blorbo in law#i had to beat art with a stick for the whole day over this but I love them sm#what the fuck even is night time lighting i dont know i put all my eggs into the golden hour basket#anyway#kiara is 100000% feeling jus a bit nervous#tapping her fingers nd resting her head on her knees ab it#but i mean how else do u react to someone you love but haven’t really told reading your feelings right next to you FDFFSDF#reading ur feelings in a letter where btw u still don’t explicitly confess#shes still v :heart eyes: tho#she cant help it#i thought ab living yazan some mirror dice FDSFSDFDS but also it would make more sense if this was her car considering birthday surprise#shes just passenger princess for the ride back lol#she deserves a break from driving i dunno#anyway i considered the dice then i was like well I want it to be a gift from someone bc OBviously and so i didnt put one#OMG it should be from Karima jus sayin#maybe she doesnt have it yet#ok jus imagine the fuzzy mirror dice XD#anyway happy birthday bestie#i know its not the day of for u anymore but I wanted it to be pretty for u
49 notes
·
View notes
Note
Wait so did Ike knoww about Stan and Kyle dating? Also I'd love to hear abt Kyle and Ikes sibling relationship thats so adorable
soooooo long story short:
...y-yes. yes, he Does know.
hOWEVER, IKE DOES NOT KNOW RAVEN IS STAN THOUGH, THAT IS SENSITIVE INFO THAT IKE CAN BE TRUSTED WITH, OFC, BUT IT WOULD PUT HIM IN DANGER AND KY WANTS TO KEEP HIM SAFE.
but long story Long...
i'll leave it in the crotch. xx
( edit: so...my bad, baby. i accidentally went on a crazy TANGENT about ike and jerseykyle's relationship bc i love them a lot and their dynamic is very complicated, so if you want that info about how ike found out about ravesey dating...i gotta put it in another ask.
bc this...got Very long.
you don't have to read this. soz. >.> )
oookay!~ so i got REALLY excited about this because rm!jerseykyle and ike's relationship is super duper special to me, in that, as sp fanfic writer girlie who tends to lean away from a more gentle, kindly, introspective kyle and much more heavily into the potential brutal parts and menacing aspects of kyle's personality when i develop my style dynamics with, ofc, jers being the most brutal of all ncu kyles...
...the way that he speaks to ike -- gently, softly, tenderly -- the way that ike disarms him, the way that j.k. unravels around ike, bends for him, it's one of the ONLY instances written into my actual published canon where we see jers be extremely vulnerable. ( not crying, lmao! )
however, i will say, it was not ALWAYS like that!
*rings the cd re-education bell*
LORE TIME!
so, per my rm!take on the south park lore, ike, ofc, was adopted from canada around age five and he...was Perfect. he was this lil gorgeous, perf, lovely thing, no health problems, dark hair, i like to think his eyes are dark brown, closer to black, sweet kid, easy-going...
...and very NOT like kyle.
and, interestingly enough, i think, At First, that sheila and gerald were super obsessed with ike, cooed over him, he was the baby, y'know? which made jerseykyle MAD jealous of ikey and an Anti from day one.
which is also v interesting because rm!ike, really just fkn Worshipped jerseykyle, wanted to be close to him, wanted his approval, craved that brotherly relationship with him, idolized him...and kyle was NOT having it, dawg! like, it took him so long to even let stan in and let his cold, black heart be light and bright enough in some spots to do That, so he pushed ike away, constantly told him to fuck off/get lost
( i do think that ike's vocab being more vulgar/him being precocious comes from wanting to impress kyle/being influenced by him ), also ike was really fkn smart from the jump in a way kyle wasn't like, to me, jerseykyle has worked hard for everything, studied hard, fought hard, and ike was naturally a child prodigy and didn't have to work that hard for anything, all while being gentle and docile and kind.
-- but going back to STAN for a minute...as a direct contrast to how jerseykyle treated ike growing up...gods angel saint ravenstan was always EXTREMELY KIND to ike. stan never had a brother: okay, he had shelley but his relationship with shelley was even more complex than ike and kyle's relationship used to be and the way shelley treated ravenstan was similar to the way jersey was treating ike, so he Deeply Sympathized with that and endeared himself to ike, encouraged him, and the more kyle pushed him away, the closer ike got to stan.
stan and ike i think ALSO had very similar interests in that they both liked louder, heavier music, revolutionary/counter culture stuff, fighting the MAN, sports ( namely hockey ) i think as a gift, actually, that ravenstan gave ike his wayne gretsky hockey yersey and ike STILL has it ( yes, kyle was jealous ), stan encouraged him to be different and carve his own path in life and while kyle, obvi, was the person most effected by stan's untimely passing...it did also do a number on ike who seriously considered stan like a brother to him and was one of the only other people who Never misgendered stan.
SPEAKING OF STAN DY*NG THOUGH: this was when everything sort of...Flipped. because when stan 'died', whatever part of kyle that could love things also died with him along with a lot of his stability.
so on top of all of his health issues, kyle got really, REALLY gnarly ptsd, would fly into blind rages, got randomly triggered by things and see stan everywhere, have really, really sever panic attacks, had to be put on several medications, got into TOOOONS of fights, etc.
and ike...was just sweet, introverted, lovely ike. stayed in his lane, did his work quietly, existed quietly...while kyle was Loud and VOLATILE.
also, to tie in Another ask where someone asked me while sheila didn't take care of ike as well as she could...fair warning, i am a liiiittle defensive abt this topic because it wasn't that she didn't want to take care of ike or meant to neglect him AT ALL, it's just...when you have a a child who has a lot going on mentally and physically, is more of a firestarter, is more aggressive or more outwardly mentally unstable...
...that tends to require more immediate attention ( especially since kyle was sooo unhinged that he was constantly in police stations, juvie, the psych ward ) and sheila's attention more helicopter parent-y in that she wanted to keep kyle safe, whereas geralds attention was more negative, felt kyle was a failure/embarrassment :/// </3 )
so ike, by COMPARISION to jersey, was VERY low maintenance, did not require to be constantly watched to make sure he didn't hurt himself or others, and so, unfortunately while sheila loved him very much ( gerald just wasn't very interested in him as the second kid other than that he not act up/argue w/ him ) he got swept under the rug because of how pliable and pleasant he was personality wise.
so sheila really does Adore ike, she just doesn't worry about him nearly as much and because of how glaring jersey's issues were, she also mistakenly assumes he's mostly fine where...i really do think ike has pretty gnarly depression, tbh. he is stan coded, i mean that. i will say that him acting out is starting to cause a stir in their house.
anyways...i am sorry this is such a MESS but jerseykyle was watched with laser focus and because of this, ike got off scott free most of the time and received almost no attention. like all his accomplishments went unnoticed or were pretty normalized because the standard he set v young being smart/capable, set the bar high. ilysm, ikey. </3
tldr; ike was The Good Child
and jersey was The Bad Child.
but, in being 'good', he got extremely overlooked by his parents.
thiiiiiiis...is where jerseykyle stepped in. so basically his entire life he was staunchly anti-ike, but he warmed up to ike a lot after stan died because they bonded over talking about him a lot/that grief, and also grew up under intense scary jewish matriarch sheila broflovski and the serious shit show that was having gerald as a father...who jersey actually regularly took shit from so ike wouldn't have to, i.g. when ike did something less than perfect or did misbehaved or fucked up, kyle always took the fall for it and was the messed up problem child, so that ike would essentially spared from gerald's mental abuse/wrath.
ike was also kind of the only person j.k. had in the world, so kyle looked after him because...again...ike is very stan coded, kyle is very protective of the lil gentle hearted people and he basically raised ike in the stead of his parents which forced him to be hard on him in a way that sheila and gerald were not hard on ike...which created a lot of dissonance when ike was becoming a teen and kyle was in hs.
so, essentially while when they were little kids, ike followed kyle around, wanted kyle to like him, thought kyle could do no wrong, as he got older and kyle started to nitpick him, actually care about him and start enforcing rules/curfews on him because no one else did, ike developed a rebellious streak and started to not like or listen to kyle because he was like, bro, whatever, you're so boring, it's one party, oh my god, just because you're boring doesn't mean i have to be!!!!
it's mostly just skin deep though, ike is only irritated because jerseykyle is mad overprotective, hard core and did not gentle parent him as an older brother at like, i shit you not fourteen, like i am so sorry but jerseykyle raised ike basically, and inspite of actin like a heartless monster...loves ike very, very much ( even if he can't say it ) and ike also loves kyle very much. jerseykyle is pretty much the only other person besides firkle, tricia, etc. ( i'll get into that in a diff ask ) that truly gave a shit about him and put weight behind his actions.
so jerseykyle is like ike's older brother/dad, rags on him about doing his homework and being an edgelord
( ike has been acting out a lot, one, because he's finally starting to come into his personality more, which, imo, my hc is that ike is p popular but mostly by accident sort of how stan was because he's pretty and very nice, ike is captain of the hockey team, his accent is cute, gets good grades ( he is slacking right now tho bc hes being edgy as hell ), is a lil skater boy gamer boy, IS V INTO TRUE CRIME, JOURNALISM AND ACTIVISM, creating positive change, exposing injustice, enjoys punk rock music, thinks emo boy stuff is neato,
IKE IS THEEEE DAWN SPAWN OF EVER AND I MEAN THAT, he is a raven of crimson dawn FAN BOY, he is obsessed; i mean that...and despite wanting to make waves in that way, like, he really is kind of an antisocial DORK but lots of girls like him, he gets invited to parties, firkle gets invited by proxy even though people think they are a crazy demonic satan worshiping freak of nature...but ike's super bestie, ofc...their relationship is also interesting...BUT YEAH! IKE! <333 )
also per rm canon, jers does miss ikes birthday every year bc going to south park triggers the fuck out of him which he feels very, very badly about, rags on him but is very pro ike doing what he wants to with reason of not acting like a goddamn FOOL and doing his laundry, his emo dirt bag phase is making kyle's eye twitch ooooof, him bleaching his hair and sticking a safety pin through his lip the second ravenstan walks through their front door while ravesey are secretly broken up and jk is extra mad at him; ITS A HOT MESS EXPRESS, Y'ALL!!!!
if you made it this far...i have to put the answer to the FIRST part of your question with all that dialogue in another ask so feel free to re-ask me that, but to reference it a little...ike is so team ravesey like it is actually painful, that is his ROMAN EMPIRE. firkle actually really does not like kyle bc they think he is lame as hell, help, and is anti-ravesey bc they think romance is a distraction,
( okay, spoiler, but firkle is in love with ike, ike does not know this, ike is super fkn oblivious and is actually very bi, so it's not like he's just not aware he is not straight, he just....actually has no idea, rip, he also has a crush on a girl in his class, it DOES make firkle want to actually dome themself to hear about it 25/8, stupid Feelings, smh, firkle b hating jersey and is lowkey a little jersey coded ) anyways they think kyle dating raven of crimson dawn is going to interfere with the band, their music, their sound and is a hater. like boooo! come on, FIRK! :/
BUT IKE IS A ROMANTIC!!! IKE IS THE JR. RAVESEY CAPTAIN!!!!
tldr; kyle and ike have a complicated relationship but love each other very much and ike does eventually learn about ravesey secret dating bc they are the brothers of ever and cannot hide shit from each other BUT I GOTTA PUT IT IN ANOTHER ASK, I AM SO SORRY, BABY, YOU GOTTA ASK ME AGAIN ABOUT THAT! but i hope this thrills you?
-uncle nina, ceo of insane hs isaac moisha broflovski lore
#i am sorry this was so long and i am not sure who cares#but idk their brotherly relationship means a lot to me#and ike actually means a lot to me#he is often over looked and very very lovely#and very deeply treasured by kyle kyle does call him bubeleh#which is very cute to me like ew he really did raise him#they were a slow burn brotherhood but worth it#i also do think its really cute that ike really liked stan#and then really liked raven of crimson dawn#like he really just feels the vibes huh#with all due respect tho i would also think pre!rm!stan was really cool and raven of crimson dawn was cool...he is that guy#I GOTTA GO INTO THAT LATER THO I AM SORRY I HAD TO GIVE YOU SO MUCH LORE I LOVE IKE AND JERSEY SM#ike is a raven of crimson dawn fanboy and the captain of the ravesey ship so sorry to everyone he is in the trenches#he is constantly catching smoke from firkle all the time about it too smh...also yeah firkle and ike lore...Interesting#i can also get into that if people want that again i am not sure who still cares abt ninas weird unfinished au style fanfic#ANYWAYS RM ISAAC MOISHA BROFLOVSKI MY BELOVED#jersey does eventually spill ike does wrangle it out of him its funny as fuck to me bc kyle was CAPPING SO HARD#that man was like idk what ur talking abt i hate that man!#jerseykyle is the ceo of lying like stan lied to stay Alive JERSEY LIES BECAUSE HE IS LITERALLY A BITCH ASS FOOL#WHO REFUSES TO ACCEPT THE DAMN CONSEQUENCES OF HIS OWN ACTIONS I HATE HIM SO MUCH#like ok to be fair they were fighting and jk did think ravenstan was dating call girl but SUPER BESTIE DO NAAAAUGHT#EVEN ACT LIKE U DONT WANNA VIOLENTLY FRENCH HIM#DONT TRY IT WITH ME BABY I LITERALLY WROTE U!#the drama of them being broken up and having to share kyles childhood bed and bedroom is sooo iconic to me#i know they were accidentally cuddling i just KNOW it#nasty cute disgusting boy angst jail for WIMPY SIMP BOYS#KISS ALREADY!!!!
7 notes
·
View notes
Note
🏩 and 🧶 for whichever two you'd like to answer for ! (@dmclr)
Thank you so much for the ask!!! I completely forgot somehow that I reblogged an ask game and so when I came back to this I was like.. woa!!! It was like a free surprise for myself I love it.
I'll do these for Jackson and Lightning cause they have been on my mind this morning🥰
🏩 - how does your f/o act when they're sick?
Depending on how sick he is depends on how long he will last, but Lightning spends the first hour or few of him being sick being "I'm completely fineee! It's just a few minor symptoms.." and then regaurdless of if the symptoms actually progress or not he completely crumbles and caves in and needs to be doted on. This happens regaurdless of how sick he is, even if it's just a runny nose and a headache with some sneezing he will eventually reach a point of pouting and claiming that he can't leave his bed(super effective on me, I will absolutely dote on him without hesitation). Though once he's better he normally ends up trying to bashfully deny ever acting in such a manner, or that anyone that was "that sick" would also have been in that state!
Jackson hardly ever gets sick, so he will completely refuse to believe he is sick until the very last minute or it reaches the point that he can't deny it anymore. He absolutely can not stand being sick though, and he will immediately go and take medicine and go through a cycle of really hot showers, hot foods, swaddling himself with heating things and blankets, and trying to sleep his way through the entire thing so he can just drive any of the sickness out of him as quick as possible. If anything I'm there to keep him from going overboard and roasting himself alive(especially if he's already running a fever) and keeping him from driving himself mad. Being sick already sucks, don't need to be sick and upset on top of it!
🧶 - other than their main hobby/career, what other sorts of things do they like to do?
I think I mentioned this before in like the biggest tangent ever, I can't remember what prompted it, funnily enough I think it mightve been in responce to something you asked as well, haha!! But Lightning actually really loves dinosaurs and going to museums and just getting to infodump a bunch. He will hardly turn down a challenge to things and likes to push himself and can be a bit competitive(some times a little less playfully than others), but he has moments of totally just wanting to kick his feet up and relax, watch some documentaries or to just let himself doze off.
Jackson is often understimulated most of the time and has trouble finding things that don't leave him feeling bored or empty/unsatisfied, and it's partly why he sticks to games, or moreso one racing simulator game in part because it was one of the few things that he actually enjoyed as was good at. He keeps himself very reserved, and even something as simple as just finding out what he enjoys is something he keeps close to his chest, but truthfully I think he kinda enjoys and prefers to getting to kinda be more of a tag-along in things, or at least, he does with me. That way if he's bored he can engage as much as he'd like, and if it's too overwhelming for him he can seperate himself or just leave whenever he wants. There's a little bit more to it than that because he can at least be open about it with me(even if he doesn't have the nerve to be very direct about it, believe it or not) and it's not perfect in every situation, but it's easier for him to just be on the sidelines and commentate or be an observer. He definitely has a fondness for techno/digital stuff like video games and LED lights in rooms and RGB keyboards and lights in gaming computers, etc., and he enjoys rediculous(/positive) tehcno/electro dubstep sorts of music. I'd be impressed if you caught him listening to anything else. I don't think he ever really got the chance to explore himself or his interests or what he'd be interested in very much in the first place, so it's really nice to kinda get to explore that with him and find out :)
#i was rambling about the book Jackson has written about his backstory earlier to someone and it is STILL on my mind now#say hi to him yall he got me in to all of this. he's the start of it all and the kickstarter of me getting into Cars#i kid you not i heard his voice and my brain was so upset with the immediate feelings induced in me that it deleted the memory#then my brother was like “hey i got this funny game wanna play it” and i was like. sure. remind me of who is who again#he was like HOW did you forget you literally saw the movie and i was like.. I DID!?#and then after playing for a while i rewatched the movie and GUESSED WHAT HAPPENED#feelings RETURNED. And i was like ah screw it im gonna watch the rest of the movies and kiss them anyway#i love telling that story and I've probably told it a hundred times. Im like an old elderly person who keeps retelling the same five stories#and you just gotta sit through it and smile and be like..how sweet... i love that for you..#i dont even know if i can blame this on the nuereodivergant “i love repeating the same things over and over again” thing#but yesm thank you for the ask!!!😊 always appriciated sm#self ship#selfship#selfshipping#self shipping#lightning❤️🧡💛#jackson🖤💙
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
...
#idk i just feel so scared????? men are soooo terrifying#like i can think a guy is normal then the more i learn pfc he gets off to rape!!!#like it really feels like all men love rape and idk it's just so...#even if they use the excuse of only fantasizing abt it .. theyre fantasizing abt raping someone (mostly raping women lol)#if they watch a show and a horrific rape scene comes on they get turned on. bc they like the idea of raping a woman. they like rape itself#if i watch a scene like that i get distressed nd heartbroken nd sad bc *i* see the humanity of the woman nd the extreme pain nd suffering#she's being caused. i dont get turned on???? i feel sad and feel empathy for her#but men dont feel empathy for pieces of meat that much is clear#idk its just so sick and vile that they see a woman being caused extreme pain and they like it#they get turned on??? wtf is wrong w them how can u even do that??#and im supposed to.... be in a relationship w a man??? who doesnt view me as a human who gets off on hurting nd abusing women.....#like even him i love said that he got off on the idea of me being asleep nd not being able to consent skksksks#how do u think like that abt someone u supposedly love????? if i love a woman i'd never think abt hurting her or seeing her in distress????#and if you're w a guy who openly admits to jacking off to raping you how do u know that he wont actually do it?#if hes in a situation w you nd he has the opportunity means nd motivation nd he knows u wouldnt say anything.. why would he not rape u???#idk men are so fkn terrifying i dont rlly wanna be anywhere near any man like theyre so sick#rape is heinous. and clearly men dont care bc theyre always the rapists so why would they care abt the fear of being raped#no idk. even if i love a man sm it hurts i dont think its safe or smart to be with one. they'll always rape or abuse or hurt u
5 notes
·
View notes
Note
So I was going to comment I don’t know your favorite Yakuza character then I remembered it was Jo and I have to ask what specifically about him makes him number one?
if you're referring to my baddie baddies tier list, then that wasn't a tier list of my favorite yakuza characters it was a tier list specifically of how hot i found each antagonist to be unless you're coming from my DB blog where i said he was one of my faves but this/that amirite
regardless tho i will talk about why i love jo cause he genuinely is one of my fave charas in general and the reason for that uhhhhh he's neat :) and hot.
But In All Seriousness i unno, it's hard for me to explain why i like characters sometimes. i'll try under the cut tho cause It Gets Long
for jo, a big part of it is how he is as a father- or trying to be a father anyway. he didn't think twice about giving aoki up as a baby- he didn't even really care if he died or not. it was only thanks to masumi that aoki got that chance at life, and if it weren't for the fact he accidentally walked by masumi and aoki that one day jo probably would've gone the rest of his life without having a second thought about it
but thats the thing: they did cross paths that day, and jo's forced to confront the fact his actions did have consequences. he was forced to grow up out of that mentality he had as a kid- that if you don't look at the problem, it'll go away. evidently, they didn't: his actions had consequences, consequences that affected not only his or ikumi's life, but aoki was ultimately going to be the one to shoulder the burden the most because they couldn't be bothered to just give him to someone and tried to leave him in a locker of all places. it's what heightens jo's quote to ichi about taking responsibility as a yakuza all the more impactful in retrospect as well, and it's details like that that make revisiting the game all the more fun
but back to jo, he fully realizes what he did was fucked up, and that there's no conceivable way he can ever make amends or right his wrongs. joining the yakuza would be the next best thing for his goals, not like he saw much of an honest future for himself anyway. at the very least, he can try to support his son anyway he can no matter the cost- or at least, anyway he can for the most part.
jo's inability to kill masumi despite it being a direct order from aoki himself is also such a telling part of his character that makes me weep a little. he entered the yakuza with sole intentions of looking after aoki and taking care of him, nothing more or nothing less. ergo, it would be up to masumi to decide how much jo gets to be involved in his son's life
but that's the thing right: masumi would be the one primarily taking care of aoki. we know masumi tries to keep in touch with aoki via the beginning of the game where he laments his calls don't get returned, and masumi seemed to spend whatever time he could with aoki growing up based off of ichi's brief flashback.
being a yakuza boss be damned, jo got to see first hand how much masumi loved his son despite his circumstances that would've made a lesser parent quit or despise him- that despite his status as a yakuza boss, he would be there and be an active presence in aoki's life enough to annoy him and think of him as nothing more than a helicopter parent. i'm willing to bet that despite jo trying to brush off the sentiment that masumi was anything more than a patriarch to him, he probably did harbor genuine respect dare i say adoration for him. how could he not? even if masumi didn't know aoki wasn't really his son, he took care of him as though he were, complications and all.
if we wanna stretch it, then based off the RGGO iteration of sawashiro, he got his tattoo in direct honor of arakawa: if we're to believe that bits of RGGO sawashiro made it to Y7 sawashiro, then it's fair to say sawashiro's dedication and respect to masumi were immense (though we can make the argument that Y7 sawashiro might not have the same tattoo, or that his tattoo now could be dedicated to taking care of aoki instead- BUT this is speculation at this point, its just something i think of and i figured i'd add it).
which what makes One Of My Favorite Yakuza Scenes all the more meaningful: the day masumi is found dead, that's when we get to see jo really lose it and gives us one of the bloodier moments in the franchise. us getting to see jo actually puncture someone's eye in really heightens his anger with the circumstances at hand- i concede that jo was genuinely frustrated with how the yakuza were being toyed with, but i also dont doubt for a second he was sincere when he told ishioda he wanted to maim whoever took out masumi ishioda was probably thanking the stars tendo was the one to do him in amirite LMAOO. whether it's because of yakuza honor or having lost someone he cared about, jo's dedication is palpable and frightening when it's allowed to flourish
its weird to say tho someone said it a long time ago on one of my tags, but jo's sentimental for a yakuza, even if he wants to be a hard ass about it. he's made his life's purpose trying to right a wrong that can never be fixed (hell, his manner of fighting can be translated as "shame style" reaffirming that despite the years gone by and aoki's actions and disregard for him, he can't quell his guilt. never mind he was ready to take off ichi's finger based on the assumption he took aoki's money from him with his permission), and along the way i'm Hopeful in saying he found SOMEWHAT of a confidant in masumi to make his burden a bit lighter.
jo's by no means a good guy- not even by a long shot. he IS however an incredibly compelling character, and i'm glad that we get to see him somewhat again in LaD8 for however long they'll keep him around in that.
also his theme fucks 11/10 brutality's a fucking banger
#snap chats#god this is longer than i thought#i probably left out some notes but yeah. i love jo#i think he's great i love the arakawa family sm and jo's a real special part of it#i didnt think it would fit in the main text but one of my favorite throwaway lines from masumi#is talking about how jo can be softer on aoki compared to masumi#like UGH. I WONDER WHY //CRIES//#honestly i just wanna know how the family's arrangements were made yk what i mean#cause masumi would be with the tojo and sawashiro evidently would stick with aoki#i just wanna know when they decided that- i still believe jo went to america with him#that musta been ironically sweet of masumi huh. jo gets to spend all this time with his son#his bitch ass son who hates him and would rather see him dead LMAO //weeps//#but UGH AGAIN that just reinforces jo's dedication dont it.#it has me believe that if jo thinks about trying to correct his son he might be doing him another wrong#like Oh You Already Ruined His Lungs Now You're Going To Do This?#he might also have partial anxiety about being like his abusive father and not wanting to extend that to aoki#tho that part's more of a stretch if im honest#still it's safe to say jo doesn't push back against aoki because of his neverending guilt#uuuughhhh i could prob talk bout jo for hours he's just so good of a character to me i love love love him#i love it when characters try to do better even if it hurts them#I LOVE IT WHEN PARENTS LOVE THEIR KIDS AND WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR THEM. EVEN IF AOKI DON'T DESERVE IT ☠️#its the parental issues in me sorry#but yeah if you read all this. thanks :)#and if not. well. i had fun rambling about jo anyway :)
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
Me before thinking about my irken ocs: :(
Me after thinking about my irken ocs: :)
#i love them all sm yall dont even know!!!! you dont even know!!!!#my special little guys!!!!!!!!!!!!#each and everyone is so......special to me#like my mains definitely are lonn avro zel and fifth#but da rest of em deserve love too#im just cursed with creating many designs that ill never name or use 😔#which is why i am thankful to those over on twitter who buy my adopts!!!#i love seeing my little guys in better homes
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
🥺🫶🏼 can i just say i really love my friends sm
#🌙.rambles#not even just my friends just rlly a lot of ppl in my life#do you ever just think about how life was before you meet certain ppl#n how since then maybe you've. had so many special memories n experienced feelings you've never really thought of before#NOT NECESSARILY IN A HFKADSJLF /r way though it's mostly /p okay 😭😭#like say 3 ppl esp this year that i think very well changed my life#this'll be incredibly obvious who i'm talking about but oh well#met one 3rd month of the year n another the 6th month n the other the 3rd to the last month (10th month)#i'm not sure if they know well enough how much they mean to me 🥹 quite possibly wiling to bet that#i love them more than they'll ever know. maybe even in a. wait no i'm not gna continue that last bit but yeah <3#IM SORRY IM LIKE SENTIMENTAL RN BCS#HLDJFAKDSJF UHH#i usually am the one that likes to give so receiving stuff like gifts n then yk the thought n sentiment behind it all just#IDK it warms my heart so much it really does. so much other stuff too but my mind is so dead rn#^^ ykyk who you are btw w. the gifts hfdalsjfkld I RLLY DONT KNOW WHAT TO SAY#everything about it just makes me happy n arghh there's so much to say but my ability to word is dying rn it sucks !!!! but. 🥹🫶🏼#n then w another online friend there's like. esp ffxiv rn w her hehe WE'RE GNA MAKE THE FC IN A BIT N IT'S HDFLKSDJ#n then w my irls i have sm to say to them But im too shy.. maybe i cld write them in a letter#BUT HERES THE THING IM NATURALLY AFFECTIONATE I DONT WNA WEIRD MY FRIENDS OUT WHO MAY BE#SHY W IT OR SMTH?? 🥹 dilemmas.. i'm rlly just romantic w gifts oh well FUCK IT#hdfkjaldfd my mind is a mess rn wait!!
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
just saw a l0whunt post where they KISSED feeling VERY violated even though it was properly tagged and i was the one who clicked on it anyway. but.
#IN MY DEFENSE i was just expecting them to be like standing next to each other#because like 70% of the time when i click on a l0whunt post thats jst what it IS#anyway im never projecting my aromanticness onto another character again because this is just hell#i could say all the other reasons why other more normal people hate this ship but ill be honest i dont really care about any of that!!#its just fuel to the fire to me. to help me feel more justified on why seeing it makes me genuinely want to cry#URGH. I JUST. WHY IS IT EVERYWHERE#YES im biased but SERIOUSLY it GENUINELY SUCKS AS A SHIP.#is it because its the only possible m/f ship in the show. be honest. is it#is that why this ship with no more development than about a dozen frames of blushes from 1 guy who easily blushes anyway#became more popular than fucking L//UMIT//Y#<- CENSORED SO IT WONT SHOW UP IN TAGS IVE GOT NOTHING AGAINST THE SHIP#i mean i dont really. Care. about them BUT I CAN PERFECTLY TOLERATE THEM ON SCREEN WITH NO VISCERAL DISCOMFORT WHICH MEANS ITS WELL WRITTEN#because. AGAIN. im AROMANTIC and very Very romance repulsed#<-''but siro if youre soooo romance repulsed why are you a fan of the bug and cat show'' i literally cant explain it#i genuinely dont know why i love the show sm when i literally have to cover my eyes any time they start RECIPROCATING FEELINGS EW GROSS!!#ive gone off topic#and i cant even be like. lowhunt fans dni. because. thats EIGHTY PERCENT OF THE FUCKING FANDOM#i follow like a DOZEN PEOPLE who ship it!!#actually ALL of the owl... um. the owl show people i follow ship it aside from like TWO PEOPLE#<-trying to figure out how to get my point across without this showing up in the main tags because. hoo boy. i dont wanna deal with that#oh and itd upset people or whatever. Sad! They all upset me constantly but i guess i have to be the BIGGER PERSON or whatever#UGH <-annoyed but would rather die than upset other pepole#im tired of being respectful. i want to let hatred into my heart#this is like the 1 thing in the whole entire world i let myself hold any feelings of animosity for#i just. HATRED#ANGER AND HATRED AND#twitter is so fucking smug about it too#like ill see posts with the most. stupid of things and itll be QRT'd a million times with#''lets see the lowhunt deniers explain THIS''#like. I hate your guts
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
why are the best people a bajillion miles away
#no cause if i my online friends were irl ones - even moots i dont talk to - i think life would be 1000x better#cause the yearning to hang out with them and do stupid shit and hug them (yes i love my physical affection (only if you wanna)) is so strong#they are some of the kindest ppl ive met wholl comfort me just with a word and it just clicks yk#i wanna teleport to all my online friends ASAP#love yall sm you dont even know#every single notif from yall makes my day 😭#i love my moots#moots#online friends#friendship#friends
0 notes
Text
en shizuku event wahhhhhh
#literally crying. mmj cares so much about their fans#shizuku was SO concerned about saito cries#and the saito family was so lovely they love ayaka so much#saito is so funny too “i dont need to see the contract!!! ill sign anything you give me!!!”#and all of mmj being like. please dont do that#i know they forced her to read every single part of the contract LMAO they care so much about her....#honestly really admire mmj even though obviously theyre an idol group#but just. the way they all (except minori) had problems within the idol industry#and those issues are what pushed them to become their own idols and be independent#and how much they care about everyone like saito's situation while obviously a struggle for her to be dealing with#genuinely deeply upset all of mmj. they want saito to be happy#just. like idk how to put it#obviously mmj arent “perfect” or anything#but just their genuine passion and desire to spread hope and professionalism is just. we love them sm#like an entire haruka event was about her struggling to accept fan volunteers because they wouldnt be able to offer any pay or compensation#they just all care so much......#confluence.txt#we play project sekai
0 notes