#I love their dynamic and I just want them to be happy!!!.

[sepublic]

O Titan, Where Art Thou is insane for reasons. One of them being how we have Dana Terrace reflect on her own Catholic background via theological ruminations about God, boiling down to: What does God think? How does God feel? Is he happy with his role? Does he want more outside of being God? And it’s all dressed under the surface of King and Steve talking about a victim of cult symbology.

It really made me look at Christianity in a way I never have, that felt thoughtful and non-edgy because sure we have Sympathy for the Devil. But what about Sympathy for God as a person who struggles with a role and is not planning everything out perfectly yet means well, whose power IS limited but tries despite that, and perhaps this is the most ideal portrayal/outcome of all? Really living up to the episode title huh?

I also love that Steve is the one who figures out, before anyone else, that the Titan is Just Some Guy, who’s made mistakes, and all of these things. A masked member of the Emperor’s Coven more accurate on what the will of the Titan is; Talk about a real prophet of the Titan, he certainly has a better relationship with a living one, that being his son. And I also also love how all of this is another example of how Dana effortlessly balances Be Gay, Do Witchcraft with her nuanced interpretation and dynamic with God and Christianity.

[bloodygyaruuu]

The Sworn Partners for God's Sake

i am SOOOO ecstatic w/ how this came out! i decided to participate in @das-a-kirby-blog 's DTIYS since i needed some fun artistic challenge in my life. i will put all my thoughts below the cut because i need to yap but please look at this image for atleast 5 seconds since i spent like 25 hours on it <3

sketching this alone took some thought since i had to adjust the canvas multiple times to make sure everything fit properly. i've never drawn alot of these characters ngl, so i was a bit nervous going in so suddenly. i wanted to make all the past villians more, well, villainous looking so i just added some crazed expression and dynamic poses. i especially like how i did susie ngl. like shes giggling so wickedly i love. i gave kirby a more confused expression while bandee is in his usual worried state of mind. i also decided to make meta and dedede make sexual eye contact as lovers sworn partners. however... i decided to take dark crafter and yinyarn out back before telling them to close their eyes because, tbh, i really dont give a fuck about either of them. marx and magolor felt like much more fitting choices in the section of past kirby antagonist as i would consider them far more impactful (and fun to draw) than the ladder pair. also added blade knight cuz sword knight was there and he wasnt?? smh. oh and vul is smoking lmao.

the hardest thing in this entire piece was the line art. originally i did all my lines in black just because it's easier on the eyes when crafting all the pieces together before i layer a blue merge layer on top. i questioned whether or not to use the lineart as both eye-black and metal highlight/shadow but im incredibly happy with the result.

coloring became a tricky subject since my art utilizes very bright, vibrant colors with high chroma. i wanted to stay true to the og by only using the base colors but just... tweaking them a lil bit. i cant resist a good highlight in my art. when it came to nightmare and meta's cape, i am a longtime subscriber to the hc that meta is like his "son" in a way so i wanted to make a nod to that by making the gradient and star-design pattern of their cloaks the same.

to be honest, this was so much fun. but holy SHIT my back is on fire. shoutout to anyone who actually read this monstrosity of an artist's explanation, ur a real one. thank you guys so much for ur support and ill see yall eventually with another dumb kirby post <3.

[theshadowsingersraven]

꧁༺ 𝓣𝓱𝓮𝓷 𝓘 𝓱𝓮𝓪𝓻𝓭 𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝓱𝓮𝓪𝓻𝓽 𝓫𝓮𝓪𝓽𝓲𝓷𝓰, 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝔀𝓮𝓻𝓮 𝓲𝓷 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓭𝓪𝓻𝓴𝓷𝓮𝓼𝓼 𝓽𝓸𝓸

𝓢𝓸 𝓘 𝓼𝓽𝓪𝔂𝓮𝓭 𝓲𝓷 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓭𝓪𝓻𝓴𝓷𝓮𝓼𝓼 𝔀𝓲𝓽𝓱 𝔂𝓸𝓾 ༻꧂

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Absolutely in love with this breathtaking piece of Solara and Azriel by @azeher ! I could not have asked for a better piece, and the fact that she was able to get it done earlier than expected for Azriel Week was genuinely so lovely. I adored working with her, and if you're looking to secure yourself some beautiful art, I recommend her wholeheartedly 🙏🏻 💙

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Happy Day Five of Azriel Appreciation Week: No Need for Poetry! Of course, I'm going to be biased, but my favorite Azriel ship is the one I made myself. 💗 I love their dynamic, the way they support, trust, balance, challenge, and simultaneously heal one another. I think there's something a little extra unique about staying with someone in their darkness instead of leading them out of it. Instead, waiting by their side until they're ready to go on their own until they can confidently take the same path you did. And when that path is just as bloody as theirs, and they love you so much...it's a way for them to realize that perhaps they were never the monster they once thought they were.

@azrielappreciationweek

If you want to see more of them, check out A Court of Storms and Ravens on AO3! ✨️🗡🐦‍⬛💙🖤⚔️✨️

Also posted on Instagram

[rainbowchaox]

Devotion Amidst Conflict: A Pissa Essay

This essay is gonna be talking about Pissa and how Squidcraft put a spotlight on the ship and dynamic. And why exactly does everyone adore them so much? The first point is that Squidcraft is purgatory 2.0 for the two of them. From first look the clear comparisons are obvious; both are very intense and competitive events.

But the main point I’m making is how Squidcraft and Purgatory mirrored each other in terms of their dynamic. In purgatory, both refused to hurt each other. Numerous times Phil commented he won’t hurt Missa. And canonically once Missa knew he was against Phil he just left. They are devoted without question to each other. The sun can’t be forced to hurt his moon and versa. Especially because Phil knows Missa like his own wings. He knows him like he knows himself. Of course he would rather die in Purgatory than risk being the one to kill Missa.

Which comes to the recent Squidcraft. Not only did Missa and Philza make it canon, their cubitos are the same as the ones on Qsmp. But this trend continues on and I even say stronger.

Absence makes the heart more protective.

Philza and Missa are again in a place where conflict is bountiful and death is plenty. Missa and Phil are both in the same conundrum where neither wants to hurt the other. How I see it though is Philza holds guilt over his point of view lack of care during purgatory. He in his view abandoned Missa. He could have tried harder. He could have been there. The two events are mirrors in my point of view. And it shows Philza's growth of care and love for Missa. And it’s key to understanding the ever growing dynamic and ship.

Philza canonized the cubitos as the same ones from Qsmp whether it’s a full on chronological continuation or some nightmare you can headcanon as you like. The fact is I’m using that as a basis of dissecting their dynamic in Squidcraft. It’s the natural progression of the cubitos relationship following QSMP.

Now let’s get into what exactly happened during Squidcraft. Phil and Missa are legit soulmates. They literally found each other first thing when they woke up! Actually meant to be! True eclipse! And that’s when we learn.

Absence really makes the love stronger.

One second in and Philza is already so protective and downright obsessed. “I follow you to the ends of the earth. He's not meant to hear that. ” Philza casually says this romantic line barely a minute after seeing Missa.

Their dynamic has shifted. Philza is way more obsessive. Also it’s very cute how Missa's habit of flirting with him in Spanish got flipped on its head. We also got a full confession!

“I wish I could tell you how much I love you and I don’t want you to see you die”.

Phil just wants to be around his Missa without any danger and to hear him laugh and bask in his presence. Many think Phil is the sun but it’s so clear to me that Missa is actually the sun. He brings light to Philzas' darkened days and he wants Missa to be safe! He doesn’t want to fail Missa any more. He wants to just be with Missa in any capacity. He is tired of waiting and of second guessing. He wants to protect his husband's smile.

There even comes a time during the day where Missa full on whimpers “If you find me you can kill me” and Bbh is like “I wasn’t planning but now I’m considering it” only for Phil to practically GROWL.

“YOU STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM MISSA”

He never forgot the torture BBH inflicted on his Missa. No one can hurt his husband. Doesn’t matter if both are trapped within a death game. Missa is always off limits.

This isn’t to say it’s one-sided! Missa on his end was just as obsessive and downright possessive. Missa missed his husband so much. And he is so clingy and happy whenever he manages to find him. The two of them were on something else! They really stole the spotlight of the first day in my opinion. It was really fate that Philza first face he saw was the face of his reaper. Missa will always be someone he can trust wholeheartedly. Once Philza gives someone his heart. The person has his utmost loyalty. Missa even managed to sneak a kiss which makes me think the crow is so used to Missa presence because Missa is his safety.

BUT WELL, WE ALL KNOW WHAT HAPPENED.

Philza failed the one mission he did not want to fail. Missa dies. Philza thought the people around him wanted to protect the only good thing about this game of life. And Philza practically screams to the heavens. He has failed Missa again! The one moment Missa was out of his sight he bled out. He can only be angry at himself.

He should have found him. He should have tried to run to him even blinded in the dark. He should have been there for him. He screams until hoarse and until morning. His wings, his solace, and his sun. Gone. Taken. Philza sinks into a deep depression. He doesn’t want to fight anymore. He just wants Missa back by his side.

He needs Missa. His actual life has no meaning without him. The time between their reunions has made the steady flame into an ever burning fire. They are two halves of the same whole. Only complete when they are both together. And Philza knows that Missa would want him to save someone so he swears an oath to do so.

“I will whisper under my breath, ‘for you Missa’ and die”

Now onto day 2 of Squidcraft, to summarize Philza is definitely not coping without his sun. Without his Missa. Without his Reaper. Without his Wet Cat. Immediately he comes out with, wanting to die for Missa. That he has lost complete and utter motivation in this game without him. That his mission is to literally die protecting someone so he can be with Missa in hell. This comes to Philza and Phillip introduction. Both are men that Missa care a lot for and they sorta bond. They both lost a very important person to them. It’s literally only through Phillip telling him they both gotta do it for Missa. I see their dynamic as more both using the other as an emotional crutch than anything preferably more romantic leaning because of the fact they miss Missa so much.

Next on day 3 of Squidcraft, we have Phil again reiterating that his sole purpose is to die so he can join his love in hell. Which brings up the fact that Phil wants to die for Missa. While Phillip notoriously keeps mentioning they have to survive and win for Missa. Phil finds no reason to continue being in such a horrible place without the calming presence of his beloved. Phil is always his worst self without Missa to make him laugh. And Philza fully used Phillip as a way to cope with such intense and painful loss. And he failed again. He wants to die and reunite with his love. Why does he keep living when he wants to stop and see his Missa again.

At Least he has the solace that Missa will never stay dead. He is a reaper after all. He will always come back. But Phil still feels he failed him. He may come back but Philza never wants him to feel any pain if he can help it. Just because Missa can’t die doesn’t mean he can’t feel pain. And all Phil wants and desires for Missa is to be safe and happy. Hopefully with him.

Then on day 4, we have Phil fully embracing his depression even with his stream being titled “Why does everyone I love keep dying???”. I am personally taking this as Philza's inner thoughts. He didn’t want to live without his husband. And his coping mechanism died but like a phoenix from the flames, Phillip came back. In fact he said it was because of Missa.

"I saw missa, I saw him, he looked me in the eyes and said IT IS NOT YOUR TIME!"

As a reaper Missa knew it wasn’t time for Phillip to join him down there. Missa always knew Phillip and Phil would all eventually come to him. He just needed to wait. And it happens just like Missa knew it would. The Crow fell.

“It's ok chat, we'll go see missa now. We couldn't do it for missa. It's okay. We gonna go see Missa"

All he wanted was to see Missa again. And he was right there waiting for him. Just like Phillip said. Missa can be patient and if the Crow crushed him in a hug who knows. After all, “We were waiting for you Philza”.

In summary, they are devoted almost to the point of devotion. They just want to bask in each other's presence and see each other smile. Only for so long could Phil survive without his other half. And now Phil is in hell holding his love in arms. They will always come back to each other no matter what. Nothing can break them apart.

[lurkingshan]

Another week, another struggle to wrangle my complicated thoughts about this beautiful show. In a way it feels fitting that we ended up watching and discussing this at a time when there was just so much happening around us in the real world that we are struggling to cope with. This story is, after all, mostly a meditation on grief and failure and finding small bits of hope among some truly bleak realities.

I've been thinking a lot this week about the pretty significant changes to this part of the story in the TV adaptation. This part departed the most from the novel, which makes sense since in the novel it was largely Young sitting in quiet introspection about his choices and regrets and where things went wrong. Not only was it emotionally dense, it was very interior in nature, necessitating some changes for the screen. Back when I first read it, I found hope in the fact that Young was finally processing his emotions rather than hiding from them despite the gut wrenching nature of this thoughts. The TV version doubled down on that bit of hope and amplified it.

The inclusion of the T-aras throughout continues to be the most consequential change to this story, and this week went even further in giving one of them, Eun Su, his own story. I've noodled quite a bit on Sang Young Park's purpose in adding this subplot about Eun Su's doomed engagement (and many indicators of his general disdain for marriage as a means to find happiness and security). The best interpretation I can offer is that, given the overall message in these final episodes that we can only find hope and true happiness by living wholly as ourselves, he wanted a parallel story that was about getting out of a relationship alongside Yeong wanting to be in one, to make it clear that his message is not about romance fixing anyone.

I also really enjoyed the Eun Su plot for keying into a very real dynamic of long term friendship group dynamics: those times when you suddenly grow closer to one person in your friend group because you are having a similar experience, or because you're the only ones in the group who can empathize with each other about a specific situation. Eun Su knew that among his friends, Yeong was the one who would understand his unhappiness in this relationship and not judge him for it, and for this period of time, their shared discontent and regrets brought them closer.

The way this thread came together with Yeong's regrets over Gyu-ho to prompt his reflections on what went wrong worked really well, and I liked the choice to end the show on a more explicitly hopeful note than the novel, as it felt fitting for its lighter tone throughout. Instead of leaving Yeong on a moment of deep regret as he thinks back to the lantern with Gyu-ho's name on it falling from the sky (Gyu-ho. My only wish.), we end with him celebrating with his friends on a rooftop, gazing up at fireworks in the sky, thinking of Gyu-ho with sadness but also naming his enduring wish for love with a smile.

[herefortheships]

All the Small Things...

One of the biggest benefits of Beetlejuice 3 starting with a time skip, if they decide to do it, is that they don't need to spend much time building a dynamic between Lydia and Betelgeuse, if they intent to give them their romantic endgame.

We already saw how they get along in BJBJ and how he continues haunting her at the end, so the base is set. If they do a little time skip, the movie can start with the two of them already having a more established kind of relationship from which the story can take off. They can build their endgame romantic relationship in a believable way, without even needing to have Keaton onscreen more than the amount of time he feels like Betelgeuse should be onscreen (we all know how he believes Betelgeuse can't be in the movie too much <-Totally disagree with him, though! At least for a BJ3 I really feel like he should be onscreen a lot more than 17 minutes).

Lydia and Betelgeuse could have developed a friendship offscreen (or a reluctant friendship, on Lydia's part). OR, better yet, they may totally be acting like an old married couple. They can be shown bickering about little things that only matter when two people care about each other a lot. (I just thought of that clip with a couple arguing because she was shoveling the snow and he didn't want her to do it because that's his job as the husband [I think he even said she was too cute to be doing that 😂]. I wish I could find the clip to put it here. lol)

Little head canon time 💜: Imagine if Betelgeuse acts like her husband whenever he pops up to haunt see her. He makes her coffee every morning; some days he even sets the table for her breakfast, and very night he arranges her slippers by the bed. Lydia acts annoyed, especially at first, "stop trying to see me!" "Just leave me alone, already!" But she secretly loves all the little things he does for her and has gotten used to it. And he does it all because he wants to; he did say he was going to make her happy. The wedding might have not gone through, but, does that matter to him? Nope! He can finally make contact; it's no longer such a long distance relationship anymore. He's gonna make the most of those little moments he can have with her.

And maybe it even takes a lot out of him; he has to focus really hard to appear around her without being summoned, but he doesn't care. He just wants to be there. Maybe he leaves her roses on her bed sometimes, and gets her bath ready for when she comes home from work. It's like someone's taking care of her at all times, but at the same time... He's not truly there. He can only pop in every now and then; he can't be there permanently unless she sets him free. So, when there's a morning Beej can't pop in and make her coffee, Lydia misses him and wonders why he didn't show up today. She has a phantom husband, always there, but also, not truly... Only in his absence does she realize what he's become to her. And that's how she's slowly fallen for him, because of All the Small Things.

[azaharinflames]

Good morning from Europe BT nation 🥰

The Universe loves to laugh at me, so much so the sleeping pills I took gave me high anxiety and heart palpitations, and also the worst night of sleep of my life, quite possibly. But here we are!

I haven’t caught up fully, I have to say, so I will probably come back to this at some point (hopefully when I’ve had more sleep, but that’s doubtful).

The thing is… I am eating my words for now. And happy to do so. We’ll see about next week, but for now I’m reheating them in the microwave and making myself a coffee to have it along my meal.

I love that there really wasn’t resolution. We just saw Buck go through it in a way we hadn’t before. Yeah I am not a fan of the way they treat him, but that’s an issue I’ve had for a while - Buck is 33. I understand he fills the little brother dynamic, but it gets on my nerves when they treat him like he’s a kid.

I think my main point for now is the GA. Because yeah, we can all look at the interviews, and curse TM, but the fact is that your average viewer probably doesn’t even know there are interviews. Or if they do, they don’t go out of their way to read them. The commenters in the IG post - big majority didn’t read the interviews, they were just reacting to what was presented on screen. And for them?

For them the break up was open ended, lacked resolution, and didn’t make sense because Buck and Tommy clearly want to be together. Tommy’s just protecting himself. For them, Buck spent this entire episode longing for Tommy and for their relationship. For them, unless things change a lot, the next logical step is to see a resolution to this, to see them fix it.

It’s the will-they/won’t-they, longing of it all. It’s the thing that will make people keep watching, because they want to see if BuckTommy can grow back together.

(It’s also a risk to take, because if they manage to get them so invested and the result is a disappointment, the backlash will probably come back right back to their door).

Anyway. I am not allowing myself to have too much hope until we see next week’s episode, because I refuse 911 to play me. But from a GA perspective…

Yeah.

[applebuttercringe]

Episode 5 immediate thoughts

Spoilers ahead!

-Oh hey it's the big guy who used to be on Caitlyns strike team.

-Get em Vi

-Jinx is betting on Vi's fights

-Average lesbian breakup experience

-Did she dye her hair black? Or did she just cry enough eyeliner onto herself that it turned it black?

-THE SISTER REUNION

-Vi is reminded by the shimmer tear that Jinx isn't fully in control of herself.

-Proud of Jinx though for being able to be in Vi presence without a breakdown

-Last time they saw each other Vi was fully ready to kill Jinx. Most brutal fight in the series. Now they can work together? Thats kinda rushed.

-Caitlyn using her detective skills again!

-"Peacekeeping operations" Yeah right Caitlyn.

-Caitlyn is full on racist

-Full on fascist

-The Caitlyn stans are gonna be fighting for their LIVES trying to defend her.

-This is the first time we've seen Mel not collected, or at least put together and considerate.

-ELORA!!!

-Mels brother?

-Mels brother!

-Well Vi got over basically all the Jinx stuff pretty quick.

-I mean this is basically what both of them really wanted, to be a family again, and it was achieved with very little ceremony.

-Did Jinx find out the mushroom aren't toxic by eating them? Does she eat every new thing she finds just to check?

-If Vi thinks this is Jinx lying why would she follow her?

-"BITCHMITTENS"

-Typical sibling behavior

-Vi is a child hitter confirmed. Considering Jinx's lingering trauma from Vi's reaction to the explosion in S1 Ep3, I'de think she would have a worse reaction to Vi hitting Isha.

-Whaarwhick is more savage than any beast in Noxus? Knowing Noxus from league I find that hard to believe.

-Wait, did Silco kill Vi and Jinx's parents? Is that why they split? I need to rewatch this frame by frame.

-Singed holding his daughter

-Singed real name is Dr. Reveck

-If Mel and Kino are surprised Ambessa has a love child, were they her hatechilds?

-Mel herself is a magical maguffin for the cult running a foreign nation. I thought she was just a super cool girlboss.

-Jinx is a jacket sniffer.

-Was Vander in love with their mom? I thought he was their adopted dad, has he been their bio dad the whole time?

-Vi defending Jinx 🥺

-Is that Singed daughter on the record Felicity is playing.

-Oh no young Silco is hot

-Felicity sounds like Jinx when she says "working up the nerve"

-That one tweet was right, Arcane music is horrifically literal.

-I don't care if it's rushed. This scene is straight out of a feel good fix it fic and I love it. Happiness and family for the Zaun sisters!

-Is this Salo after being healed by Viktor?

-Knew it

-Jayce, where ya been buddy?

-Viktor broke Jayce out so he could come see him. I mean it is probably not Viktor, it's the hexcore taking people over, but still.

-And once again the dynamic is reversed

-Just leaving Ekko and Heimerdinger in their huh?

-JAYCE STRAIGHT UP MURDERED HIM! HOLY SHIT! WHAT!?

-I THOUGHT HE WAS JUST GONNA BONK HIM TO KNOCK HIM OUT!

-WTF HAPPENED TO HIM!

Overall: Ok, so this felt rushed. The last 4 acts have been tearing these sisters apart, entirely centering on the traumas and outside forces that keep them from being a family. Then Jinx shows up and it takes one sentence to get Vi back, granted Vander being alive is big news, but Vi thinks Jinx is lying to her. Why wouldn't she be mad at Jinx?

Jayce straight up murderred a guy, I wish we got to see more of how he got to this point.

Caitlyn is still as much of a dictator as she has been all, but she does get consistently worse.

Mel is in a totally different story now.

Things are only looking up for Jinx and Vi.

Even with it being rushed I do like Jinx and Vis story here, I want happiness for them , sue me. But I don't see how they could possibly meaningfully redeem all the other characters in the 4 episodes left. Which means I think Arcane season 2 might not be peak anymore, entertaining? Yes. Interesting? Yes. Exciting? Yes. Peak? Maybe not. I still love it, but the cracks are showing.

[critter-genfic-events]

Gen One Shot Recs!

There are times when you want to get sucked into a series, and then are times when you just want to read something in a single sitting. Check out eleven one shots underneath the cut - from all three of the main campaigns (and Calamity too). And if you like them, don't forget to comment and kudos!

It’s a Process by fraternite (1740,Teen) Warnings: Descriptions of injury Pairings: Caleb Widogast & The Mighty Nein

Caleb is injured after a battle, and healed, but magic can’t fix everything. The Nein help take care of him for the rest.

Reccer says: A really neat concept, I love a good exploration of the limits of healing magic. And the way each of the Nein show their care for Caleb is so sweet, excellent hurt/comfort

Deep dive by JungleJelly (11030,General) Warnings: None Pairings: Yussa Errenis & Essek Thelyss & Allura Vysoren & Caleb Widogast

A four wizards, one braincell Happy Fun Ball expedition

Reccer says: The dynamics are amazing, I love all of these idiots (and Allura)

Separate myself from me by wtgw (6399,Teen) Warnings: None Pairings: Fjord & Eadwulf Grieve

What’s a living magical weapon without a wielder? In the Blooming Grove, Eadwulf Grieve tries to come to terms with making his own choices after 17 years, and Fjord comes to recognize the uncomfortable similarities between them.

Reccer says: Eadwulf as a living weapon my beloved

More Than Glass by R_Black (2297,Teen) Warnings: Pairings:

During their first trip into the Happy Fun Ball, the Mighty Nein are trying to navigate around several rooms. When Fjord touches the weird red circle that leads to the Dragon room, Molly has a bit of a reaction.

Reccer says: It's a fun look into how Molly would have acted if he'd seen the tapestry window with the Cognouza button thing. It's really stuck with me.

path of the traveled sun by mousecookie (6008,General) Warnings: None Pairings: Essek Thelyss & Verin Thelyss

Post-canon, Verin comes to a party at Essek's invitation, curious and hoping to reconnect - and is completely unprepared for how much Essek has changed.

Reccer says: I love how much this feels like a real sibling dynamic, and the complicated feelings about having a brother that wasn't the best but has now become a better person

Syncopation by minutiae (790,General) Warnings: None Pairings: Ashton & Milo, Ashton & Dorian

After a hard battle, still bloody and bruised, Ashton heads back to the Krook house instead of staying at the Spire by Fire. Dorian follows.

Reccer says: Ashton singing in his own language, having a fun, quiet night with his friends.

Benediction by Sandtalon (4961,General) Warnings: None Pairings: Cerrit Agrupnin & Maya Agrupnin

Cerrit and Maya, after the events of Calamity

Reccer says: Exactly what I needed after Calamity - to me, this is canon

Ruidus is Flaring by minutiae (383,Teen) Warnings: Mentions of canon deaths Pairings:

"We Didn't Start the Fire" by Billy Joel, but Campaign 3

Reccer says: It's fun to sing

your heart taking root by Demenior (2732,General) Warnings: None Pairings: Fearne Calloway & Orym & Dorian Storm

Orym wakes in the night to clever fingers working the chain around his neck. “That’s from my husband,” he says without opening his eyes, “I’d like to keep it.”

Reccer says: I love this Fearne and Orym dynamic, and the love that's palpable between them

Learning to be lost by Strangestcrows (920,General) Warnings: None Pairings: Caduceus Clay & Eadwulf Grieve

After the battle with Trent at the Blooming Grove, Eadwulf is struggling. Caduceus is a guiding hand as he comes to terms with his relationship with the Raven Queen and what he's done.

Reccer says: I liked it

It Might Sting a Little by CurrieBelle (1957,General) Warnings: None Pairings:

Everyone in Vox Machina must have pierced ears so they can use the magic whisper earrings. Ergo, an ear piercing fic that turned into a Percy character study

Reccer says: I love this look at a Percy who is just starting to fit in with the rest of Vox Machina

This is one of our weekly communally-generated gen rec lists. Every week we announce a new theme and allow anyone to submit a fic recommendation. Please note that the summary and content notes are provided by the reccer, and may be different than what the author has provided. Please assume good intentions all around. <3

And hey, anyone includes you!

We'll be back in December by fics focusing on Imogen, and then character studies, and then fics focusing on Vax in the new year!

Any fics coming to mind? Well, then use this form to submit! If you're looking for some more, check out some fics written in the critter genfic bingo tag, or the older rec lists! Or you can request your own card and join in on the fun!

[the-french-laundry]

The Problem with Claire Bear (and how to fix it in S4 without making Clairmy endgame)

This critic is focusing on the writing and is not meant to be an attack against the actress in any way! Also this is my personal opinion.

I must confess, that i am relatively new to the fandom, but 'the Bear' has a chokehold on me for a couple of weeks now. The way it has so many different characters and tries to explore their personalities, their shortcomings, their problems and anxiety, hooked me from the start and i loved to see how they developed over the three Seasons, we have now. But then there's Claire. And she just doesn't work at all.

The number thing and Claire accepting anything

When she first appeared in the supermarket and had that talk with Carmen Berzatto, i couldn't shake off the feeling that this whole scene was very awkward and almost non-human. Of course, we know that Carmen can be socially awkward and seeing his old childhood friend, which he ghosted, is a weird situation for a lot of people. Given his own difficulties to deal with situations like that, it makes sense why he gave her a fake number. I know, she asked multiple times if it is okay, but the whole number thing is a clear sign that he is either avoiding contact, because he doesn't feel ready enough to deal with a past relationship or that, deep down, he doesn't actually want it and uses it as an excuse so that he doesn't have to say it out loud.

Seriously, if i would've been Claire, that would be a RED FLAG for me and i'd stop trying to force any contact. But the script wanted a romance, so it literally made Claire an all forgiving person. She just takes Carmen's bullshit and never truly questions it or tries to make him question those things. She always reassures him, that he's doing good and all, which is supportive and cute, but it doesn't help Carmy's broken personality in any way. It never questions, it never tackles his character to move past this. And in the end, it doesn't help Claire too because this relationship feels very one-sided. She's always there for him, tries to keep the contact, supports him, confesses her love first (even though if it was via voicemail), but Carmy isn't able to give it back to Claire in any form.

Claire got no personality

This is very obvious, but it needs to be said. The script gave Claire nothing to create an interesting or engaging personality. After i finished Season 3 i did a small recap in my head and all i could say about her is: She was Carmy's girlfriend and she is working as a doctor. That's all. And it made me bonkers somehow, because 'The Bear' has so many well-written female characters - Sydney, Tina, Natalie, Donna, Chef Terry. Even Jessica and Tiff, without having much screentime, had more developed character traits that made them stand out. But the script is not able to give Claire something that would make her more than just Carmy's forced relationship!? We rarely see, why she even has this crush on him - maybe due to their childhood friendship, any special moments they'd shared in the past before they met again at the supermarket? No, nothing and i think this is sad. Because with all that, Claire becomes a character, that can be easily written out of the script, without leaving a hole in the story.

Carmen would still have his New York David Fields trauma, mixed with the death of his brother Michael, he would still pressure himself. The rest could be easily explained through the dynamic he has with Sydney and the team - the fear of letting them down, of being not good enough, of not deserving happiness at all etc.

An environment of forcing it

Now it gets a little bit personal. When i was younger, i had a best friend, whom i really liked - but just as a friend. At one point however he started to have feelings for me and asked, if we shouldn't just try and see where it gets, which i didn't want out of fear that it might ruin our friendship. A lot of friends we both known at that time, told me multiple times that we would be such a great match, that he really cares for me and we would be cute together. It gaslighted me into the believe that, well... maybe i should just try. Also because i didn't want to disappoint my best friend. In the end, it was a mess and it ruined our friendship. But why am i telling this story? Because Carmy's and Claire's relationship kind of reminds me of that.

The people around Carmy are constantly talking about Claire, about her being a saint and that she is good for him, that they totally match and that he has a crush on her (e.g. in the conversation with Richie and Michael during the Christmas episode). Yet it never really feels like Carmen loves her deeply enough to make a long-term relationship work. He cares for her and likes her, that much is clear, but i feels forced, whenever they share moments together - not from Claire's side, but from Carmy's side. As if he always has to reassure himself, that he indeed loves Claire. And my theory about his flashbacks of their time together, is that it is more because of his own guilt. He never wanted to hurt Claire and he understands that what he said was deeply painful to her. Confessing that to himself is hard and an apology is needed. But i don't think it would be good if they straight up reset their whole relationship.

What can S4 do to save this mess?

The apology is a big thing that is in fact needed. To jump over his own shadow and to find piece for himself and for Claire, Carmen needs to apologize to her. By talking about what happen and recognizing how bad he'd treated her during the walk-in freezer incident, he also gives her the chance to close that case for herself, so that she doesn't think it was her own fault and therefore she can move on with her life. But it would also make sense that Carmen reflects if he really loves her as deep as he thought he would. In my opinion, the script didn't give us enough to undermine the argument that he does. So looking at that, it would be great to see how he confesses to her, how he'd always thought they were meant to be, but in the end his feelings were not enough for that to happen, that he got carried away by the expectations of those around him and his own anxiety. And maybe we learn, that Claire experienced something similar to that, realizing that they could've been great friends but weren't meant to be more.

Even though i don't like the character of Claire, given the fact that she is in the series now, it would only be fair to close her character arc with an apology and a wholesome conclusion for both her and Carmy before they part ways.

-

Thanks for coming to my short TED Talk. Feel free to tell me your thoughts or add the things i might've missed.

[freuleinanna]

Oh heyyy! I'm sorry for barging in, but I saw it today and I just couldn't unthink that! I hope you maybe like it <3 gif just for the vibes

Actors AU | Agatha and Rio are exes who have had a child together, lost a child together, and are now forced to work together again.

Word count: approx. 3000

Grief and trauma are a big theme, so is healing. Namedrops of the characters are irrelevant and are for fun. It's not a TV series meta, I just thought it would be hehe fonny. Social handle's made up too.

AO3 link

*********************************************

‘So, what can we expect in terms of, uh, in terms of the dynamics between the two of you?’

‘Ohhhhhhh, you know…’

‘I know, I do know! It’s too early in the stages and whatnot, but is there anything you can say? Are there any premises, any arcs for your characters already?’

A sly smile slithers across Rio’s lips. Agatha’s looking at her over her shoulder, unsure of what to say. The new project is all hushed up for now, of course.

‘I’m sensing some… hesitation here, ladies?’

Rio’s hand on her back, wrapping her hair around her finger in little curls. Eye contact, way too long. Fan-video-worth long. There’s a shitload of them all over the Internet, dubbed with the sappiest music and in-love-rose filter. Happy, happy.

‘Some insane shit, my guy,’ Rio finally chuckles.

‘Oh yeah?’

‘Oh, I mean, full on. It’s, like, plot-wise it’s demon hoards, and religion, and bloody sacrifices…’

‘What?!’

There she goes.

‘…but really it’s a commentary on acceptance, on the grief of living in this insane world, and like, unreal amount of trauma dumping. Yeah.’

Deadpan. No expression, just making shit up. Agatha’s nodding along.

‘Right, hon?’

‘Oh, yeah!’

Something clicks, and she’s game. Rio’s fingers in her hair, and the feeling is so light, so generous, it bursts out of her with laughter.

‘So much trauma! Uh-huh, ‘cause I’ll be playing the sacrificial lamb, and you’re…’

‘I’m gonna be the demonic priest. So, there you have it.’

‘A wild ride, for sure.’

The audience is riled up. Applause come. They laugh. Cameras are rolling, forever imprinting happiness onto the lenses, every last bit of it. It is one of the last bits, actually. It’s going to spill her guts on the floor when @agatharioreallove tags her on a clip a year later (before the news comes out), showing their happy, loving faces from exactly that interview.

And then, a billion of sad, my-heart-is-breaking-for-them tags.

FUCK, she’ll be hollering in the emptiness of the living room, FUCK! Can’t you leave us the hell alone?! Fucking…

For cunt’s sake.

Our child is dead.

Our child is dead.

Fuck.

******

1 year later.

‘Thank you so much for showing up. I know it’s…’

The journalist is trying mad hard to be respectful, but also to still get a chewy piece.

‘How do you… How does one even do something like that?’

‘There’s a thing called contract, sweet cheeks.’

‘I mean, sure, but I’m… Wow, that was a raw thing to say.’

‘Things are raw.’

Awkward silence. There’s a glance over at the security guy, an unnerved tug at the collar.

‘What, do you expect us to murder each other live?’

‘Ha-ha.’

Nothing fucking funny about that.

‘I mean, everyone expected the project to get dropped, and… here you are, preparing to shoot. How was that? How was that decision made?’

Agatha’s hair in a tight bun, and she’s stroking a loose lock away from her face. Rio’s eyes are daggers. Agatha doesn’t need to look to know it.

How was it made?

Through cursing and screaming, that’s how. Kicking chairs across rooms. Throwing lamps at her agent, God bless her. Lilia’s a fucking saint draped in Sicilian shawl.

‘Aight.’

Rio fidgets, Agatha can hear it. Here’s the part she winces at, uncontrollably. Be a doll and think for a second, because you’re only not charged the lost potential value fee if you deliver the film by those scripts. What’s not clicking? And she wanted to tell that story. They both did, a love letter from parents to children. Who could’ve thought.

How was it made?

Rio’s hand perches to her shoulder, staying there like an all-too-familiar ghost. Spine tingles with rage.

‘It was hard. You can imagine…’

‘Sure… ’

‘…if you’re not an asshole. Are you?’

‘Oh, I’m—I’m not! I-- really--’

‘Good, then.’

Agatha’s dry chuckle is Oscar-worthy. She had bid a fortune on the script rights to buy them out, so she’s bound. And Rio? Rio’s completely went off the rails. Her brain train doesn’t even remember there were rails once. She’s lashed out so much she’s become a liability to everyone who has the displeasure of working with her. A bare-foot beggar in the woods is what she is without this film. So is Agatha, unfortunately. Two beggars clapping their naked ass-cheeks on the wind.

Unless they go through fucking hell.

With everybody watching.

Twenty minutes and gallons of constant internal vomit later, the interviewer stops the cameras, says goodbye, and leaves. Rio’s hand disappears. Agatha leans back and closes her eyes, waiting for another press-junket-junkie, back as straight as she’s never been.

Phone’s keyboard is spitting out quick, audible taps. Why, why does she always need to keep the sound on?

‘Fuck you.’

Agatha knows well that her voice has cracks in it. A decent amount of disdain too, she hopes. Taps are avalanching even quicker.

‘Aw, your first words to me. You haven’t been developing functional communication mechanisms, have you?’

Tap-tap-tap.

‘Go stand in the corner and die, Rio.’

‘Fuck you too.’

It’s so cold, she might have gotten frostbites. From their voices alone.

*********************

Table-reading / Rehearsals.

‘Okay, don’t be mad, but?..’

‘You don’t have to say it.’

‘It sucks balls. I’m sorry, but you just suck balls.’

‘I do no such thing, ever.’

Teen’s face wrinkles with worry. Billy, Bobby, Tommy, Toby? Whatever. He’s a teen, so, he’s Teen. A plucky assistant, and a huge pain in her moral ass.

‘Could you maybe… Cunty filter off, okay?’

‘Ugh, Teen.’

Still, Agatha’s looking this twig of a kid over, feeling worry build in the ruins of her insides.

‘What else are they saying?’ She smirks with venom. ‘Besides our chemistry being off?’

‘Basically, that it’s a Mariana Trench of flaming shit, but that it still has to be done.’

She nods, un-amused. Yeah, otherwise it’s another pile of fees, liabilities, script ownership debates, the whole petty army of Hollywood law-humpers on her back. Teen is slurping on his… blue-colored god-knows-what. Then stops, under her glare.

Rio’s afar, in the distance. Like she’s always been since… Well. Since Nicky.

‘I can’t,’ Agatha whispers before she can stop it, and clutches at her coat nervously, realizing she’s said it aloud. There’s something strangely calming in a way Teen avoids touching her, but remains just behind her shoulder, listening softly. ‘I can’t, I—I can’t.’

‘Can’t what?’

She shakes her head. Rio’s there. So is anger, so is hurt, so is everything scorching, manifesting in her oh-so-loved-once face. So is missing her fingers curling up her hair. But more, still anger.

‘I can’t say those things. The script. Not in a meaningful way. Not when--’

‘How else are you supposed to say it?’

‘Huh?’

Her comforting assistant steps from one foot to another, then lowers himself to the level of her chair. His voice crackles with nerves. His shadow supports hers. He’s saying things Agatha never wants to hear, because Nicky died, but the script brings her and Rio into a nightmare of a centuries-old witch and Death incarnate battle over a child’s soul.

‘You’ve lived them. How else are you supposed to say those things? You’ve lived them.’

Happy videos of their faces, laced fingers, loving gazes during the interview. Sad montages and thousands of close-ups of them visibly drawing away from each other at the hint of a touch. Hurting like the sun, spilling red while falling to the doom. Fuck.

‘Why don’t you go fuck yourself with a straw, huh?’

‘Sure. Okay.’

*******************************

Shooting: Day whatever, because at this point, everyone’s frustrated.

‘Oh, shit.’

‘Is she drunk?’

‘Fucking impossible— Somebody get Vidal in her trailer!’

‘Do we keep a setup?’

‘For fuck’s-- ’

‘That’s a PR nightmare.’

‘She’s not gonna sober up, is she?’

‘Not before she vomits half her stomach down the sewers, she’s not. Un-fucking-believable. Can somebody get Harkness?’

‘She’s gonna kill her.’

‘Maybe don’t tell her, smartass?’

‘She’s gonna know, and then she’s gonna kill her.’

‘What a mess.’

‘Leave it, just… everything, leave it. And get Alice to Jen for make-up. We’re gonna reschedule her scenes for today.’

‘What an A-list crap-pile on meth.’

****************

When Rio sobers up, it’s not entirely clear whether she’s dead or not, but she thinks, well. Either way there are hook-bladed daggers buried in her body, tugging in all directions at once. Hangover or hell, not much difference.

The hardest of daggers, the sharpest and most resilient one, turns out to be a scythe. And it’s in Agatha’s eyes.

‘Alive?’

A familiar voice makes the bells toll. Deep tonality of disappointment, the one which roots in hurt and blooms with blame, is a homesick sound.

‘Unfortunately so.’

‘Good. I need you alive for being skinned by the crew tomorrow.’

‘Gee,’ she croaks. ‘Sounds hot.’

Managing to pull herself into a sitting position, Rio wipes her mouth.

‘I kinda hoped I’ll just black out for the rest of the shooting. No luck, then.’

All signs are there: Agatha’s trembling hands, the way she keeps gesticulating with her whole palms in frustration. Her hateful stare, of course. There’s a storm coming. Hurricane Harkness, ready to pour molten steel. Rio sneers, taking it.

‘Come on, I know you have words.’

‘God, you’re a bitch.’ That, Agatha says with her whole chest without missing a beat, as though grateful for a convenient way of spitting some of the pain out. Those words unlock her frustrated lips. ‘Why. Seriously, why now? Neither of us wanted to do it. We’ve gone through a minefield, got fucked in the ass by every interviewer ever with a hot poker and a sympathy lube. Why not just… Do it and be gone, huh? Rio? Just one fucking movie. Why the fuck do you need to act up now?’

‘Because now, it hurts.’

And Agatha’s eyes dart away in a habit so shivery and familiar, it burns Rio’s chest worse than years of mutual blame. The woman who’s never been her wife, the woman who’s shared a son with her; now the woman who’s been so enraged, so devastated, so focused on her own irreplaceable loss that she couldn’t bring herself to look at Rio’s. Because, what if she recognizes the same pain?

People are fucking nutjobs.

‘It hurts, Agatha,’ Rio repeats quietly, with careful weight placed on each word. ‘Because I lost him too, and I didn’t get to live through my pain. I was handling yours.’

‘Oh, please.’

‘Guess it’s catching up on me.’

Hangovers don’t gently break your ribs, Rio knows. So it must be something else, like truth. Agatha’s disbelieving fury is war-like.

‘What, you got a different story?’ Rio teases, despite desperately wanting not to. Don’t tip the scale, thoughts echo, why are you like that? Why are you doing this? Why now?

Because. It. Hurts.

‘You left, Rio. When I needed you the most, you left.’

‘Needed me?’

‘And now you’re strutting back to, what exactly? Give your feelings a performance?’

‘You’ve shut me out.’

Heavy breathing. Some metallic croaking in the voice.

‘I’ve?--’

‘You’ve scolded me out. You’ve frozen me out, Agatha. You needed a space to grieve and you locked the fucking door beh--’

She stops abruptly. Draws air to say the only thing that mattered.

‘I was alone.’ I was grieving, and you couldn’t look at my face. I was grieving, and your own grief was just too big to notice mine. ‘Suppose I’d stayed. With all the time in the world, would you have hated me less?’

She sees locks of Agatha’s hair swing, heartbreakingly beautiful. Always the little things that destroy you.

‘I didn’t hate you.’

‘No?’ It’s cruel to smile. The alternative is weeping.

‘No.’

‘You sure hid it well, then.’

‘Rio, I--’

It’s a muscle memory, alright. Bodies remembering how to intertwine, how to save each other from loneliness. Hands reaching out. Breath aching to get mixed. It almost, almost happens. The warmth of it flees just before a newer, colder habit kicks in, which isn’t completely unlike cutting through arteries of hope drying in the air.

The woman Rio’s engraved into her lungs yanks them out with her need to blame someone, anyone, and walks away, still holding them.

‘I can’t, I—Don’t do that to me.’

‘I’m not doing anything.’

‘I can’t.’

‘I know.’

A beat of silence.

‘I’m done, Agatha.’ Rio smirks, broken. ‘You win. From now on, I’ll be on my best behavior.’

Agatha Harkness, an unbearable load-mouth and a genius pervert with cussing, bites her tongue and leaves. Rio feels like Death.

***************************************

Shooting: Pivotal day.

The day everyone remembers, but nobody talks about.

And then—Life.

Not at once, and not beautiful. Life isn’t a fragile flower blossoming out of nowhere. Life is actually someone’s gooey remains, definitely someone’s shit at some point, and there’s nothing fragile about it. It fights and claws, but given time, it overcomes people and buildings alike. It grows. It grows.

Given time, it stops running from the dirt whence it came, and starts reaching down with roots to accept the unthinkable.

Flowers fallen out of Agatha’s hair are white. Her hands are covered in fresh soil. Streaming down her face, tears bitter and gentle.

‘Please, my love!’

Death stops before a weeping mother. Cameras are rolling, Rio’s mind has completely switched off. Everything’s blank. Pulsating sounds in her ears are ringing with the remnants of please, my love – and Agatha’s horrifying expression. Something bruised and raw from familiarity, with which it comes.

Death – or Rio – shouldn’t rage against her helplessness. Death takes children, after all, it’s a known fact. Sometimes, it’s just… It’s just unfair. And sometimes, even Death – and Rio – can’t take being the reason for such heartbreak.

‘I can offer--’ she starts. Then, ‘No.’

Some muttering, well-earned, is heard from behind.

‘I can offer only time,’ someone whispers, reminding her of the line.

‘I know,’ she says. Then again, ‘No.’

Agatha’s face is shaded with concern.

‘What are you?--’

‘I can’t offer time.’

Taking up the skirts of her dress, Rio steps forward, toward her. Agatha draws back. Agatha the actor is wrecking her nails against stone, trying to fight Agatha… Rio’s Agatha.

‘Boys die.’

Rio nearly chokes on those words, and still it isn’t as bad as Agatha’s reaction. Invisible to anyone who’s not close enough, anger, bitterness, and grief birth real tears, instantly hot over the camera ones. But Rio is close, isn’t she? She is. For the first time in what feels like centuries of roaming wild, she’s actually there.

‘Boys die,’ she whispers, ‘and it’s never fair, but they do. And there isn’t time enough to heal that pain.’

‘Stop this.’

‘I can’t bring him back…’

‘I’m serious, Rio, stop this!’

‘…because I haven’t taken anything.’

She burns her fingers on Agatha’s face, yet it’s still worth touching it.

‘It’s not your fault, it’s not mine either.’

‘We loved him.’

Thousands of clips all over the Internet, of them showing off their happiness.

Aww, they’re the best parents <3

I NEED them to be my parents!!!

Sweet music.

Heart emojis.

Wait, are they actually raising a kid together???????

Talking about Nicky.

Talking, talking, unable to contain that joy.

And on that, Agatha breaks. Her lips twitch with a sob. Rio’s on the ground beside her, holding her face in a way that urges to listen. And her Agatha, not the character or the actor, is crying into her open palm.

‘I wanted more time. I just wanted more time, that’s all, I--’

‘We loved him so much that it… broke something, when he died.’

‘How can…’ From under closed eyes, more grief. Then a gaze so piercingly blue, it staggers Rio with ferocity of color. ‘How can I live with that? How can you live with that? How does everything not remind you of him, huh? How are you not – so – angry? Why – were you not – angry?’

Nobody could have possibly thought they’re ad-libbing. Yet nobody intervened, bless the fools. In the shadow of Rio’s face, Agatha’s darkened eyes glint almost purple.

‘I needed you to be angry, along with me. I needed you to be fucking furious about his death, and you just…’

‘Accepted it.’

Rio nods, and feels her own tears, warm and heavy like August rain. Some of them drop of Agatha’s hands. Their hands and their tears come together.

‘Because, Agatha,’ she’s barely resisting the sobbing herself. Perhaps, that’s how Death feels. Rio nods with heartbreak and compassion, and inevitability they bring. ‘Because, Agatha, boys die.’

I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry that they do, and there’s nothing I could do about it, but I forgot that people die too, from suffering. We almost died, too, right next to each other.

Agatha’s chest is heaving with breath. She’s fighting against Rio’s hands, and then she’s holding them, and then her arms are pressing Rio closer with all their strength.

‘I’m so sorry. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.’ For not listening. For being angry with you, because you weren’t ready to accept. For not fully understanding. For lashing out. For leaving.

‘I didn’t—I—I’m sorry,’ for not acknowledging your loss. For needing my fury so much, I thought I’d stopped needing you. For blaming you.

And suddenly flowers bloom.

Not literally, of course, but they bloom in how Agatha’s fully sobbing into the crook of Rio’s neck. They also bloom in how Rio’s holding her: gently, stroking her back all the while. Wrapping little curls of hair around her fingers. Most of them bloom on their lips as they touch skin. Blessing, apologizing, healing.

Desperation and trauma are flowing up, up, toward grief and by it, up again, to the bright-red rage, around the gigantic ill-intentioned walls, over broken pieces of good memories thrown against it, toward air. Toward breathing.

Toward love,

and having spent years half-severed only to find that each deconstructed piece still fits perfectly as you hold each other tight,

and even toward kissing the salt.

Toward, it seems, life.

Because it’s always the cycle, isn’t it?

Out of death, life.

Actor au where they are exes who had a kid together but never got married but then the kid died(because i hate happy people) then they are forced to work with each other and drama ensue

[detectivelokis]

From Nightmares to Sweet Dreams

Words: 1.6 k Warnings: Nightmares/lucid dreaming and mentions of childhood trauma A/N: Gift 1/2 for @nightwingshero for the Resident Evil Gift Exchange hosted by @sstewyhosseini

“Look at you. So pathetic. So weak.”

“Not - not pathetic,” Ainsley whimpers as she thrashes in bed; limbs in a cold sweat and sticking to the sheets.

It’s just a dream.

She’s well-aware that she’s not awake right now. She’s been having enough lucid dreams since the Raccoon City incident to tell the difference by now. Still, it doesn’t make it any less terrifying.

“No?,” the blurred visage of Oswell Spencer asks as if he’s toying with her. “Look at your brother and sister and then take a look at yourself.”

“Stop it!”

Ainsley can feel herself screaming her throat raw as her father’s craggy face inches closer and closer. “Leave me alone!”

“Ainsley? Ains?”

A soft and warm voice breaks through the fog of her dream and directs her attention away from her father and towards it. She reaches out, begging for them to pull her back to reality.

“AINSLEY!”

Blue eyes flutter open and are immediately met with concerned brown ones. “Another nightmare?,” Carlos asks, bringing a hand to her shoulder as he starts to rub soothing circles into her clammy skin with his thumb.

“Yes. The same one as always.”

It’s been like this ever since she chose to leave Umbrella behind for good. Not that anyone she met would ever let her forget she worked for them in the first place. Her own peers would scoff at her when she would come in for conferences or try and get funding for one of her passion projects. As if she ever stood a chance. As if she wasn’t born to try and follow in her father’s footsteps; fighting like a rabid dog with Albert and Alex for a scrap of recognition.

But then Carlos came into the picture. Carlos who was a mercenary for Umbrella. Carlos, who almost couldn’t stomach being around her in the beginning due to the fact that she had a hand in creating the two tyrants that terrorized Raccoon City that night. But, like her, he was missing a part of himself, one that died as they escaped the nukes that sent the city asunder.

Carlos lets out a tired sigh as he slides down next to her, taking her into his arms. She feels bad for having woken him up all because of the same series of nightmares she has at least once a week. But that doesn’t stop her from resting her head on his chest, the sound of his heartbeat bringing her some much needed solace.

“I know you think this is corny, Ainsley, but you're so brave; braver than some of the men I worked with in the U.B.C.S.. And most of them were military trained.” He strokes back strands of her blonde hair, placing a lingering kiss to her damp skin. “Your father was a lunatic and a tyrant and clearly favored your siblings, but seeing how they both turned out, I would say that’s a good thing.”

“A daddy’s girl I am not,” she replies, relaxing into his touch. 

Her feelings towards her siblings are complicated, especially when it comes to her brother. When she had decided to work for Umbrella she was an ambitious young woman who had just wanted her father to see she was just as talented and equally as smart as Albert and Alex; two teenage prodigies. But she could never gain his favor no matter how hard she worked. Despite all that, she had been horrified to learn of Albert’s demise up in the Arklay mountains and even more hurt when he revealed himself to be alive and well, his body pumped full of the Prototype Virus. She had grieved for him and in the end she looked like a fool.

“Don’t worry, babe. I don’t mind a girl with daddy issues,” Carlos teases and she swears she can feel him smile against her skin.”

Ainsley lets out a faux shocked gasp, playfully swatting him in the chest. Before she had met Carlos she would have truly been offended by such a joke, but she knows that there is no malice behind his words; only love and an attempt to make her feel safe and calm.

“You and your jokes…”

Her blue eyes glare up at him teasingly, earning her a soft chuckle in return. “Yeah, yeah. You hate my jokes. I get it.” He leans his forehead against her own, his warm brown eyes staring into hers so lovingly it could almost make her melt into a puddle right there on the bed. “But you find me too irresistible to mind.”

Truer words have never been spoken. She hadn’t been expecting to find love with a man who worked as a mercenary of all things, her usual picks being those who worked in more scientific fields, but the red string of fate tied them together like no other. Besides, there is more than meets the eye with Carlos. The man has far more emotional intelligence than anyone else she has met.

“I mean,” her hand lightly caresses his cheek before trailing her fingers down to his neck, “I would have to be a fool to let you go.” Her eyes linger on his torso, his body toned and sculpted in all the right places. “Absolutely crazy.”

Peace flows through her as Carlos smiles at her words. “You know I love you, Ains. All I want is to see you happy.”

Ainsley nods, a soft smile gracing her features. Carlos understands the guilt she feels unlike no other. Their reasons may be different, but it connects them, bonds them, in a way that is truly unique to them.

“I know. I want to see you happy too.”

“How about I go make you some tea, yeah? How does that sound?,” Carlos asks, gently lifting her face to look him in the eye.

“That sounds perfect.”

Ainsley lets him lead her out into their living room, bare feet padding against the cool wood floor. Once they reach the sofa he helps her sit, propping pillows up behind her to keep her comfortable. How did she get so lucky?

“It was just one nightmare, Carlos. You don’t have to baby me,” she teases as he drapes a blanket over her. “I might get used to this and expect it every time.”

“And you know I would do it. You deserve to be spoiled, Ainsley. Especially after everything that you’ve been through.”

Carlos kisses her forehead softly before he heads into the kitchen, opening the cabinets to rifle through her meticulously curated tea collection. His hand lands on a purple tin, fingers tapping on it before pulling it out to show her.

“Chamomile?”

“That will work,” she replies softly. “It’s my favorite brand too.”

“I know.”

Carlos shoots her a cheeky grin before turning back to the task at hand. As she hears the electric kettle come to life, she lets her eyes slowly close. This man knows so much about her. Everything from her favorite type of tea to years-long trauma resides in his mind and he handles it with the utmost care.

This is true love.

After a few moments, Ainsley feels a dip in the sofa as the aroma of freshly brewed chamomile tea fills her senses. “You didn’t fall asleep already did you?,” Carlos teases, resting a hand on her knee.

“No,” she whines, her voice groggy with sleep. Just a few minutes of cuddling and talking out her feelings is almost always a balm for a night full of bad memories.

“Could have fooled me.” Carlos holds out her favorite mug, steam overflowing from the top. “Careful. It’s hot.”

Ainsley smiles in gratitude as she cups the mug delicately in her hands. As she goes to blow on the steam another idea pops into her mind.

“Thank you,” she says quietly. Leaning forward, she brings a hand up to Carlos’s cheek, urging him closer. She lingers for a moment before kissing him softly. 

It’s a gentle kiss, small pecks shared between the two as he runs her fingers through her hair. It may not be the intense make out session where their tongues are in each other’s mouths and they're grinding against each other, but it feels incredibly intimate.

As she pulls away, Ainsley rests her forehead against his. “I know it’s late, darling. But I was thinking,” she pauses, a small smirk toying at her lips. “I was thinking that perhaps we could share a bath before going back to bed. We need should be properly relaxed.

Carlos beams so wide she swears she can every single one of his pearly white teeth. “Damn, Ains. Look at you being a bad girl.” His eyes shift towards the clock on their oven before he turns back to face her. “At a quarter to three in the morning too.”

Ainsley simply shrugs in response before leaning back into the plush couch. “You know I can be a bit naughty now and then. Can’t be proper all the time.”

“No you can’t.” Carlos pats her knee playfully as he moves to stand up. “Because I am not about to pass up this opportunity, no matter how late it may be, I’ll go run your bath for you, honey.”

He places a chaste kiss to her lips before practically dashing off to the bathroom. “Thank you, darling!,” she calls after him, a quiet chuckle falling from her lips.

As Ainsley watches him go, her blue eyes following every inch of his body, she realizes things might not be that bad in the end. Not bad at all.

[sysig]

Permission to headbutt: Granted (Patreon)

[moonsnqil]

Kevin watching Jean ask Jeremy if he's okay, watching Jean offer to hold Laila's bag so she can fix her shoe, watching Jean hand Cat a granola bar before a game because she looked a little unsteady. He's not jealous, he had his time by Jean's side. Maybe it's grief. Grief for something that was never so innocent, never so untouched by cruel hands, something that could've been better if they were anyone else. Grief for something that's long passed and can never be fixed to be made better than before. He had his time at the receiving end of Jean's concerned glances. Maybe he's just a little sad that when he's at an away game, he no longer buys post cards for a friend. Maybe he just misses this person who used to always be by his side but they both knows it's better this way. Jean is happy, it's not with Kevin, and that's okay.

[mattodore]

birthday boy 🎂

[anonymouscheeses]

I'm gonna be shitting and screaming and starting fights if Sera becomes a villain. I can't take sibling angst, Sera loves Emily I swear guys believe meeee.