#I love the idea that Galadriel has done terrible things

[cycas]

To be fair, she does act on Dol Guldur during The Hobbit. She's one of the White Council that drove Sauron out: as Gandalf puts it during the Council of Elrond:

' "...the Council put forth its strength and drove the evil out of Mirkwood - and that was in the very year of the finding of the Ring: a strange chance, if chance it was." '

There are several other mentions that the delayed action on Dol Guldur is down to Saruman. In 'Of the Rings of Power and the Third Age' from The Silmarillion we get this:

"Thus the Wise were troubled, but none as yet perceived that Curunír had turned to dark thoughts and was already a traitor in heart: for he desired that he and no other should find the Great Ring, so that he might wield it himself and order all the world to his will. Too long he had studied the ways of. Sauron in hope to defeat him, and now he envied him as a rival rather than hated his works. And he deemed that the Ring, which was Sauron's, would seek for its master as he became manifest once more; but if he were driven out again, then it would lie hid. Therefore he was willing to play with peril and let Sauron be for a time, hoping by his craft to forestall both his friends and the Enemy, when the Ring should appear." So Galadriel is on a committee for the entire Third Age, and, unlike her rival Feanor, who was notable for acting alone, she was prepared to listen to the expertise of the envoys of the Valar who were sent to help fight Sauron.

One of those envoys was a traitor. But Galadriel did exactly what the Silmarillion elves are often accused of not doing, ie, waiting cautiously and taking advice.

I think this is relevant, from Elrond:

"'The Three were not made by Sauron, nor did he ever touch them... So much only in this hour of doubt I may now say. They are not idle. But they were not made as weapons of war or conquest: that is not their power. Those who made them did not desire strength or domination or hoarded wealth, but understanding, making, and healing, to preserve all things unstained.'"

(Brief pause to weep for Celebrimbor and his hopeful dreams)

So, yes, Galadriel has a Ring, but it's not a weapon.

It's not something she can use to attack Dol Guldur, or Mordor. It's defensive, at most. We can only assume that whatever power she used against Dol Guldur during the two attacks she made on it was her own power as one of the greatest of the Noldor.

I think Galadriel also deserves credit for the fact that Lorien is still *there* by the end of the Third Age. Look at that location!

She's sitting directly between a Balrog and Sauron (OK, she doesn''t know it's a Balrog. But she does know about Durin's Bane as a concept). The mountains north of Lorien are full of goblins, Thranduil's people have been driven a long way north, the Rohirrim think (perhaps due to Sarumanic influence) that Elves are dangerous or possibly fictional, and it's the closest Elf-realm to Mordor. And yet the elves of Lorien are still there. According to Galadriel, that's partly because she is actively defending them, on some plane that is non-obvious to hobbits: "'But do not think that only by singing amid the trees, nor even by the slender arrows of elven-bows, is this land of Lothlórien maintained and defended against its Enemy. I say to you, Frodo, that even as I speak to you, I perceive the Dark Lord and know his mind, or all of his mind that concerns the Elves. And he gropes ever to see me and my thought. But still the door is closed!'"

So it may not be obvious, but she is doing something. Not clear exactly what, but ... something. Something that diverts the Great Eye away from everything else it could be peering at, maybe?

When Boromir asks if Gondor must stand alone, and says it would comfort him to know that "others fought also with all the means that they have".

Then Elrond replies:

“...there are other powers and realms that you know not, and they are hidden from you. Anduin the Great flows past many shores, ere it comes to Argonath and the Gates of Gondor.” I think by that he probably means Thranduil, given that Legolas is present, and maybe Beorn and the people of the Northern Anduin area in general, and perhaps Erebor, even though Erebor is a long way east of Anduin. But again, look at the location: if there's one 'hidden' realm on the shores of Anduin that is actively opposing Sauron "with all the means they have", it's Lorien.

I *think* there's also a bit in Unfinished Tales, which I don't have to hand right now, about Galadriel going to Lorien when Amroth left, to defend it because it was vulnerable. I like to connect this with the earlier bit about her planting Mallorn trees there (I think Gil-galad gives her the seeds in the Second Age?), so that when Amroth leaves in the later Third Age, and Lorien looks like it's going to be depopulated, Galadriel goes BUT MY TREES and moves in to defend them :-D (Doylistically, I'm pretty sure that Galadriel gets less mentions in the early periods because Tolkien mostly wrote those bits before he had invented her. But that's much less fun than wondering what she was up to outside the history books!)

Consider that was where Celebrian - her daughter - was held and possibly tortured... I think we can excuse a little excess rage power on Galadriel's behalf. Like the whole adrenaline-lifting-a-car-off-a-person kind of response rather than just being generally over powered.

Hi Anon!

Well, Celebrían was held and tortured in the Misty Mountains rather than Dol Guldur, but I can see your point about the Superpowered Mama Bear. :) After all, I'm a mom myself and I would unleash unspeakable horrors on whoever might hurt my children.

Your comments were in response to my vent about why it took Galadriel so long to act and help Mirkwood/Thranduil take down Dol Guldur. She stepped in only in the end to "cleanse" it after Sauron had been vanquished.

Honestly, Galadriel's seeming lack of action throughout the history of Middle-earth is baffling to me, and I consider it one of the flaws in Tolkien's works (sorry, Professor!). We're told she's extremely powerful and one of the greatest of the Noldor Exiles. But we have no clue what she actually did during the Wars of Beleriand, or the Second Age, other than traveling a lot and giving advice to Celebrimbor, and taking Nenya (Rings of Power tried to wager guesses, but most fans hated the show's take). She probably saw the most action during the Third Age, but even so, even the little that is mentioned of Thranduil sees him going to war for his people and effectively Middle-earth. Galadriel seems to have mostly stayed in Lothlorien to give advice and defend her own territory.

So yeah, I guess what I'm saying is that is was rather a waste of a character to have her act on Dol Guldur just at the last minute, and we're not given a sufficient explanation why it took so long.

[whetstonefires]

Do you have any opinions on Scholomance?

I do! I like it a lot. I really enjoyed all three books, blitzed through them easily and was much more excited to see how the plots unfolded than I'm used to these days, as a jaded adult, and I also really appreciated them as works of craft.

Especially the first one, I spent the whole time being all 'wow!' at how simple it was. So easy to read, but no waste. You really need to know what you're doing, to get that kind of pared-down elegance of form to work and still fit so much content in.

Like these are dense, there's a fantastic stylistic minimalism that allows El's character all the space it needs to breathe by making absolutely every other thing and person in the whole novel also do character work for her, which is exactly where the first person voice shines.

Also great use of character perspective to make the pacing feel really natural, so the fact that the first book takes three weeks, the second book takes one year, and the third book is like. Five or so incredibly stressful days spread out over the course of a few weeks? Doesn't feel imbalanced.

I actually got distracted from the story a few times by noticing the strength of Novik's technique. 😂 This is a me problem, in itself it's the opposite of distracting. Very low-profile.

I think the Scholomance is a great example of how far you can go in specfic when you aren't cringing from the label 'derivative,' because the Scholomance books feel very fresh ad clean specifically because nothing in them is concerned with standing out as 'original,' whatever that's supposed to mean, only with being well-executed and suitable to its task.

Hm, maybe that's where Liesel was born, the intersection of the efficient narrative style and the vast proportion of the story that concerns the maximization of utility and the instrumentalization of persons by themselves and others, and the forces that incentivize these behaviors. Or maybe she's just the narrative counterweight to Orion 'Head Empty' Lake lmao. How's that for a principle of balance, Galadriel?

I really did enjoy how beautifully it was laid out, over and over, in dozens of shades of humanity, how no matter where you go in an exploitative system almost everyone is being driven by the same survival instincts.

Because I don't think I've ever seen made so cleanly clear why you just can't expect any person or small group of people, no matter their level of goodwill or status, to unmake one of these systems from the inside; how it's not a matter of people being bad but of every single person being very...small.

And then not retreating into the idea of a person who is Big coming and breaking the cruel system from the outside as some kind of panacea, because 1) that is terrible, even if it's necessary and done in the best way possible and 2) that's not a sustainable answer to anything. Getting a balance between the protagonist being able to effect change and not subscribing to the great man theory of history can be really tricky!

Also did I mention, I love El, and I love most of the cast, even the dreadful ones. How am I going around with this many feelings about Li Shanfeng who doesn't appear until the actual climax?

The romance murdered me a bit, but it took up no more space than it absolutely needed to do its job, and I respect that. Also I appreciated Orion as a love interest; Novik has a slight record at this point of a version of that style of male love interest who's like a caricature of Mr. Darcy but old, which was shaping up to be my least favorite thing about her body of work.

...Orion is kind of like if you took the human king from Spinning Silver and gave him an alignment flip come to think of it, so he's not coming out of nowhere. Lmao.

Which reminds me (re: romance character typing) I've heard Novik didn't want it to be known she was astolat, which this series has renewed my sympathies if so. Because if I were a published novelist I wouldn't want people going 'you know, that resolution was really emotionally satisfying! reminds me of that fic she wrote where optimus prime and megatron get stuck in a hole underground and hatefuck about it.'

I don't even like Transformers. That fic almost made me cry. Actually I suspect it reads better if you don't like Transformers because I'm sure it does not give a shit about canon.

Anyway, whoever pointed out that one of the things El has going on is she's Enoby (and we're going to sit down and explore what the true reason to put your middle finger up at preps is, and what are some constructive ways to channel that socioeconomic wrath, and what it means that there is no ethical consumption under capitalism) was right and I'm not entirely over that either.

Fucking love El's mom as a character. Spectacular level of parent relevance and usefulness. A+.

Aadhya and Liu are also characters who fucking delivered.

Re: minimalism though, I laughed at the start of The Golden Enclaves when I realized that none of the enclaver characters who'd gotten development in the the first two books were from London, the enclave El was theoretically shooting for when we met her.

[elerrinacrownedwithstars]

Galadriel in Rings of Power, Part 2: War trauma or awful personality?

This post continues my analysis of Galadriel as she is portrayed in the Amazon series The Rings of Power - and why I think it is so very bad. Part 1 focused on the the portrayal of her being a warrior, and the many problems it creates for her character and possibly even for LOTR. Read part 1 here. In this post I will examine the common defence of her behaviour: that she is a traumatised war veteran who keeps lashing out at everyone.

I will post my arguments in a few different posts, because that should make the whole much more readable. I will use the tags #anti rop and #anti rings of power for the benefit of those who may want to filter my posts.

If you like Amazon Rings of Power, I have no issue with that; I only take issue with how a character I've loved for over a decade is portrayed in this show.

2. ROP!Galadriel's unlikeable personality disguises as war trauma.

ROP!Galadriel is a brash, hot-tempered, arrogant, impulsive and rude person. Sometimes she seems downright evil. Despite her great age, she has not accumulated any wisdom through her experiences. She treats even her friends in an unpleasant way and is worse towards strangers. She goes as far as threatening a bound prisoner with torture and genocide against his people - which is outright villaoinous, no matter how evil Adar is. Her anger issues are severe and it is hard to find even a single redeeming quality about her. If this is the show's creators' attempt to show that Galadriel, if she "turned to the dark side", would be as terrible as Sauron, is not well done. In my opinion she has already gone over.

Arguments made in the defence of this portrayal boil down to the idea that ROP!Galadriel is a traumatised war-veteran who lashes out because of her awful experiences. I don't find this compelling, considering that ROP shows Galadriel being aggressive and violent even as a child, never mind the justifications of assaulting a bully. If the show had shown her as a gentle, happy or sweet child, and then made it clear that it was her war experiences that changed her, this might be acceptable. However, it is not the case. ROP!Galadriel always was angry, violent and volatile. Because of this it rather feels like ROP!Galadriel uses her "trauma" as an excuse for her horrible personality. It is also very telling that she would rather spend centuries consumed by vengeance than go looking for her husband (who in the show went missing long ago). 

If the basis of portraying Galadriel as a warrior is shaky, this characterisation of a traumatised survivor has even less to do with how she is actually portrayed in the legendarium. The canon Galadriel has not horrible war experiences, but she does go through traumatising things, like the Kinslaying at Alqualonde, the many deaths of her kin, and the crossing of Helcaraxe. So, the canonical version of Galadriel has seen her deal of suffering. But if anything, in canon she seems to remain careful and collected after these experiences, because she is able to stand Melian's scrutiny, retain her presence of mind and not reveal the truth about the circumstances of the return of Noldor to Middle-earth. Therefore portraying Galadriel with these anger issues and lashing out is very much out of character.

Even if the portrayal of Galadriel as a traumatised war-veteran made any sense, there are other questions and problems about this. The show takes place at the end of the Second Age, when the events that supposedly traumatised ROP!Galadriel, including Finrod's death, are already long past. In other words, Gil-galad has all this time maintained a high-ranking commander who constantly lashes out, has no eloquence or diplomatic skills, can't fulfill a quest she's been at for centuries, is defiant against her superiors and seemingly does not care about the lives of her subordinates. Is this the best Lindon can get to lead the realm's armies? Does Gil-galad think that all it takes to be a commander is to have a big sword and be able to hit real hard? Or that his soldiers would consent to following this extremely volatile and unpredictable leader for centuries? They have had this whole age to do something about it but nobody has thought to try and help ROP!Galadriel to deal with her trauma, even with all the skill and subtlety Elven healing supposedly has? Has the Elven society developed at all or found ways to help its members? Or, if they just accept her behaviour for centuries and don't try to help her to get better, it implies that this is her personality and the Elves of Lindon have just resigned to it. Considering how out of line ROP!Galadriel is and the amount of time that has passed since Finrod's death, it seems quite unbelievable that her obsession about vengeance hasn't already backfired long ago and seriously enough that Gil-galad would have had to deal with her. Moreover, if she is so consumed by vengeance that she cannot understand his reasoning about the dangers of her quest but needs to be put on a ship and sailed away to be somebody else's problem, then she is not fit to be a high-ranking officer and never was. 

ROP!Galadriel has no more proof of Sauron being out there than she has of Celeborn being dead. The fact that she chooses the option of vengeance, and holds on to it for centuries, instead of choosing the option of looking for her spouse and carrying on with her life, reveals what is important to her. It also shows how deeply rooted violence and aggression is in her character. 

I believe this shows that the show's creators have not taken their time to consider the differences between Elven and Mannish psychologies. What is described above might make sense if we were talking about a human character whose experiences took place only a few years ago. However, Galadriel is supposed to be a mature Elf at the time she gets to Middle-earth in the First Age, and at that point she has already seen horrifying things. But this canon Galadriel is very different to the one ROP shows, spending centuries in a volatile state of mind but gaining no wisdom from it and receiving no help to deal with it, although the Elven society is supposed to be much more sophisticated than its Mannish counterparts.

[tathrin]

🖤 a dark ship?

[from this ask meme]

I think I have to answer Silvergifting for this one. (And let me also throw you a rec for my brand new Celebrimbor joins the Fellowship AU, with lots of post-Silvergifting trauma baked-in.)

For starters I'm completely obsessed with the very idea of the Gwaith-i-Mírdain and desperately need some kind of hardcore world building 75-chapter story set in Ost-in-Edhil about these crazy smiths and the culture of their city. And of course you cannot talk about Ost-in-Edhil without talking about Sauron, and how he wormed his way into their lives and forges and was probably happier there than he'd ever been in his life before he destroyed it.

But it's about how much they had in common, and how great things could have been if only Annatar had meant any of his pretty lies (and maybe he did, just a little; maybe he wished he did, just a little; a Sauron who is at least tempted to Be Someone Other Than Sauron is my favorite flavor of this; a Sauron who destroys his own happiness, too in his pursuit of his dreams of power and does it anyway...) and how impossibly terrible everything was instead.

Doomed less by the narrative than by yourself: by looking at the blood that stains your own lineage and being forgiving of a maia who has blood and shadows in his own past as a result of wishing that you could ever forgive your family and yourself for their sins (because Celebrimbor might not have known that Annatar was Sauron, but he had to have figured out that something was wrong eventually; had to have made a conscious choice to ignore the warnings of Galadriel and Elrond, even if he didn't want to admit to himself quite how conscious; had to have sensed something off eventually, after so many years of working so closely together, and either decided to ignore it or to accept it because maybe everyone deserves a second chance, right? And what else is Ost-in-Edhil for...?).

Doomed by the knowledge of the horrors that resulted from your family's smith-craft in previous years, and your fear of what your own hands could make as a result; and being coaxed to step beyond the self-imposed limits that you set upon yourself because of that fear. By the fact that you finally, finally feel comfortable and safe enough here working with the Gwaith-i-Mírdain to take a risk in the forge and try something great...and the damnable results of that risk being taken alongside the worst person you could have possibly chosen to craft with, and knowing that you've doomed not just yourself but the world, too...

Knowing that in the end, you've done exactly the sort of damage that you once swore you would never do; that the only good thing left for you to do is to die without giving every last scrap of yourself away again; of having the precious knowledge of the Seven and the Nine dragged from your bleeding lips by the one who'd helped you walk the beautiful paths of their forging in the first place; to have spent so long waiting to show Annatar the glories you achieved with the Three while he was gone, and then realizing too late that their glory was just another form of doom and you could never, ever let him see.

To die at the hands of the lover who taught you to trust yourself again but who was himself lying all along... (But was he lying to you, or to himself?)

There's nothing good about silvergifting, but there could have been. In a kinder world, there would have been; should have been. And that's the appeal, I think: it's the tragedy that was always going to happen, but shouldn't have had to. They should have been able to heal one another from the scars of the First Age and the Years of the Tree; to use the combination of their great skills to heal the world from the damage that Sauron and his Master and the Oath of Fëanor did to Middle-earth; to make things better...

But they didn't. They didn't.

Instead all breaks to ruin and Celebrimbor dies broken in the dark, and love isn't enough to save him; love is only enough to damn him. To lift his shattered dreams like a banner before the Enemy and see his home and all his hopes burn to bitter ashes.

The Lord of Gifts and the Silver-handed Smith should have been able to create beautiful things between them; the most beautiful things seen since the Silmarils. But instead, all they wrought was destruction. Which is another, terrible form of beauty, in its own wretched way.

*Also see this previous post where I ramble deliriously about the joys and horrors of Celebrimbor/Annatar/Narvi.

[saurongorthaur9]

I can’t understand the kiss. Amazon this season seems to want to earn Tolkien fans (not the toxic lorebros), with all that talk about the lore and interviews, etc, and how they’ll stick to the books from now on. And, then, they have Galadriel and Elrond, of all characters, kiss!? It’s surreal, because no Tolkien fan would ever be ok with this.

I don't understand either. I'm so confused about why they thought it was a good idea. Like, I literally can't conceive of what their endgame for including it could possibly be.

My biggest fear is that they were testing the waters to see if they can get away with starting to Game-of-Thrones-ify the series. Admittedly, this scene was pretty mild - stupid and pointless, but mild. But I'm afraid now that they've set the precedent, they are going to start throwing in more of that type of thing and that it's going to get more extreme and more Game-of-Thrones-ish, which would break my heart, as I have truly loved this season so much and going the direction of pure cheap shock value is so against the spirit of Tolkien.

I desperately hope it was just a one-off decision that someone for some reason thought would be a good idea and is not indicative of any larger pattern or agenda. But everything - especially this season - has seemed so deliberate, that I can't help but worry.

I know it was just a stupid ten-second little scene and it probably shouldn't be bothering me this much, but it just seems so incongruous with everything else they've done with the show so far and that worries me. Everything this season has seemed to have a purpose - everything feels so deliberately crafted - that a scene like that sticks out like a sore thumb. I just have this terrible sinking feeling that it's part of some bigger plan or agenda, either to condition the audience for worse shock value scenes or something similar.

[sunflowersupremes]

I think I've made like, two sarcastic comments about how I'm glad the Finarfin you've mentioned isn't the Finarfin from my stories (or at least in the splinters like jewel shards verse) but I don't think I've asked, do you have any headcanons on Finarfin? I'm interested if you'd like to share any!

-@outofangband

@outofangband

Yes!!! I remember that comment. I also hope he’s a bit nicer than the Finarfin from Return in Chains, one of my fics (although that Finarfin isn’t evil… just… makes questionable decisions out of desperation, which is basically the Finwean Family Pastime).

I LOVE FINARFIN.

He thinks “Finarfin” (aka Finwe-Ara-Finwe) is a terrible name and can’t believe his brother would have done such a stupid thing. (He also thinks “Fingolfin” is a terrible translation).

After all his relatives took off and left them, he got put in charge of not only the country, but also literally everyone’s CRAP. Meaning, as the only remaining member of the house of Finwë, he had to figure out what to do with all the houses and possessions they left behind. He ended up boarding them up and leaving them, in the hopes that they would come back one day (elven possessions don’t rot or decay, after all).

The only time he used one of his relatives homes after they left was gifting Maglor’s house to Celebrían when she arrived. By that time he had accepted that Maglor would never return, and he figured she had the best claim to it (and it had the largest garden, which he knew she would like, and it was in the artist’s district which she loved). When Elrond actually managed to drag Maglor back with him, Arafinwë was SHOCKED. Thankfully, Maglor was fine with him gifting it to her and just moved in with them.

He just generally seems like he wants the best for everyone. I don’t think he’s a coward, I think he’s just very cautious (and he has a bit of foresight, which means he probably saw that the future would be WORSE if he went as well). I also like the idea that part of his reason for staying was ‘get on the Valar’s good side so I can eventually convince them to help’ not realizing that by the time they helped his entire family would be dead.

He has a great sense of humor and is generally a fun guy to be around. His assorted relatives know they’re always welcome at either of his homes (he has one in Tirion and one in Aqualonde) even if he’s not there himself. Half the time he gets back from vacation to find at least two random nieces/nephews chilling in his house.

He and Maglor both have a similar grasp of emotions and Osanwe. Maglor uses his gifts to fuck with people; Finarfin tries to use his to help people. He spends a lot of time going around fixing all the people Maglor has screwed with.

Arafinwë annoys Maglor precisely because he can see through Maglor’s attempts at manipulation. Maglor tried to trick him into doing something once and Finarfin calmly said ‘if you wanted attention you only had to ask’ (that, of course, was HIGHLY OFFENSIVE as far as Maglor was concerned).

Arafinwë does not want the crown. It is a running joke in Tirion that whenever someone from the line of Finwë is reborn or sails, he tries to give them the crown (it is true, actually, but no one else wants the thing either). He even tries to give it to Maglor once he turns up.

His attempt at inventing democracy backfired when he was elected.

Nerdanel becomes very close to him during the First Age while they bond over missing their children.

He keeps a memorial in the palace garden, with markers - made by Nerdanel - for every fallen member of the house of Finwë. They even add a marker for Gil-Galad after the Last Alliance even though no one has any idea who the fuck he is or if he’s related. The memorials are kept even after the dead are re-embodied, as a reminded of ‘that dumb thing you did that one time’

He makes annual trips to the Halls of Mandos just to ‘chat’ with Namo (and subtly inquire as to when he’s going to be getting his relatives back). Finrod’s release was, in part, to try to appease Arafinwë, but all it did was make him more determined that he COULD get the rest of his family back.

He informs Namo that no, no you will NOT be keeping my brother and his children until the Second Music, thank you very much. (Namo points out that their Fëar are very badly damaged, Arafinwë asks why the fuck Namo thinks that he - as a Vala - is best equipped to heal people who hate his guts)

Fëanor gave him a pet swan when he was five because Fëanor thinks swans are assholes and expected it to terrorize his younger brother. Instead Arafinwë befriended the swan and trained it to bite Fëanor on command.

Arafinwë typically doesn’t eat meat, the only exception is fish.

He can’t figure out why the Valar put Eönwë in charge of the host. I mean, he’s a great guy and a terrifying fighter, but he seems to have a few screws loose.

Elrond and Elros’ return to Gil-Galad was only because of Arafinwë. Maedhros and Maglor didn’t trust the host of the Valar, but Arafinwë sent them a letter promising to personally watch over the twins and arguing that they would be safer with the Host. Because of this, Elrond and Elros resented him for a long time, blaming him for taking them away from their adopted family.

Arafinwë spent a good chunk of the War of the Wrath keeping Eönwë from accidentally causing Diplomatic Incidents or Other Minor Catastrophes. The rest of the War was spent trying to work how the the fuck he’s related to Gil-Galad. He still isn’t sure, he’s pretty sure Fingon might have just picked up a random kid somewhere. Or he might be a Fëanorian, but he kind of hopes NOT. He loves his half-brother, but holy fuck.

It was his idea to turn Morgoth’s crown into a collar, because he was fucking pissed off by that point. It was mostly a joke, but Eönwë, being a himbo, went with it.

He was attempting to negotiate either the return of the Silmarils OR a different way to end the Oath when Maedhros and Maglor stole the Silmarils from Eönwë’s camp. One of the guards they killed was a childhood friend of Arafinwë. Arafinwë already had rooms waiting for Maedhros and Maglor back in Tirion, because as soon as he got them on a boat he was planning to take them straight home, whether that was the Valar’s plan or not.

Arafinwë had managed to arrange a pardon for Galadriel, but she was still angry and proud and announced that she didn’t want it, thus resulting in her getting a personal ban.

He knew Galdalf before he went to Middle Earth and gave him a very long list of things to tell Galadriel, most of which amounted to ‘get over yourself and apologize to the Valar so you can come home you fucking idiot (and please tell Elrond hello, he’s a lovely child, really)’

He adores the Hobbits and can’t believe Elrond managed to bring them. Gandalf who? He gives his grandson-in-law all the credit, thank you very much.

[thegreatmcmidget]

Untitled Part II

Part I Here

II

“How do they think I died?”

It had been just over a decade after Elros had died. They were near where Helm Hammerhand would one day build his stronghold. In those early days, Elrond spent very little time in Lindon - he was either on Numenor or he was traveling. They were following rumors of an Elven bard who traveled from town to town singing of regrets. It was Daeron of Doriath who they would find in Northern Harad. At his request they had let him be, mourning the loss of his oldest and most beloved friendship.    

“Why do you ask?”   

“Just tell me.”

“You’ve never asked before.” That wasn’t a lie. He knew that the rest of Arda believed him dead, killed by his own hand but he never wanted to know why. He didn’t even know why he was asking now.

“Are you going to tell me or not?”

Elrond had looked up at that, his face oddly hard and cold - as it had been since his twin’s hand had gone slack in his own - and yet terribly sad at the same time. Taking a deep breath, he stood up and walked away from the campfire. Erestor waited and after one final breath, Elrond spoke.

“They believe you threw yourself into a fiery chasm with the Silmaril clutched in your hand.”

It’s a lie. He remembers escaping with the Silmarils, one for each of them. He remembers arguing with Maglor - loud, thoughtful, talented Maglor who could be as cruel as Atar on his bad days - about what they had done. He remembers Maglor throwing his jewel into the sea, cursing their father’s name and the oath. He remembers pain in his hand and in his side from a spear thrust. Maglor he remembers turning away angrily and stalking off ... he remembers falling … he remembers his vision darkening as he watched his only remaining brother didn’t even turn around as he stalked away … he remembers nothing else. By the time Elrond and Elros had found him, he was unconscious from the burning pain in his remaining hand and blood loss and Maglor was gone - probably believing him dead and alone in this cruel, cruel world.

Next thing he remembers he’s hidden in the Atani camp, the Silmaril nowhere to be seen. He was told that he had almost died of blood loss. That the twins had thought him dead when they found him.   

Erestor had been Elrond’s idea. Let the world believe that Maedhros - Nelyafinwë, Maitimo, Russandol, Kinslayer, Oathkeeper - the eldest son of Fëanor was dead. Let him be reborn with a new name and life. Tyelpe thought him mad at the idea. He was quite vocal on his dislike of the idea.

“Are you insane?” he remembers Tyelpe - no now he prefered Celebrimbor -  hissing at Elrond as Maedhros - no that wasn’t his name, not anymore, Maedhros was dead - pretended to be resting. His burnt hand had become infected and the fever had only gone down that morning. “It’s bad enough that we’re hiding him but now you want him to return to Gil-galad’s camp without anyone knowing?”

“He deserves a second chance.”

“We might believe that but what of the Sindar and Teleri? They’ll want him dead for what he did!”

“And yet they forgave you.”

“I was never at Doriath or Sirion.”

“But you were part of the first kingslaying were you not? And it’s not their forgiveness we need. After all, they believe Maedhros dead.”

“Until a red-haired one handed Elf walks into the camp! How are you going to explain that?”  

“Who says that a red-haired one handed Elf is going to walk anywhere?” That was Elros, returning with a case of a dark liquid. Dark wash from the south. After explaining their plan - in those days it was always Elrond and Elros or Elros and Elrond, never one without the other - Celebrimbor admitted it could work, might work, but they would need to be very careful about their next move.   

All things considered, it was his name that was the hardest part of the plan. They needed a name that didn’t have any connections to the House of Fëanor and yet one that he wouldn’t have a problem answering to until the breaking of the world. It was Elros who suggested ‘Erestor’ meaning ‘Lonely Brother.’ He rolled it around for a while. It was true after all - all but one of his brothers were in Mandos and the remaining one was in the wind. He wouldn’t mind being Erestor. He doesn’t mind being Erestor who runs Elrond’s councillors with an iron fist, who is unremarkable in appearance and personality, who never swore any oath against the Valar, who never led armies into any sort of fight, who's never been anyone’s prisoner, who never lost any of those he loved.

There are days when he’s convinced that someone knows. That he slipped up and someone realized who he used to be. That they’ll try to kill him for a dead Elf’s crimes. And that Erestor will let them. He’s pretty sure that Glorfindel at the very least suspects that he’s not who he says he is. He knows that Galadriel has probably figured it out by now. He tries to avoid her and her husband when they visit their son-in-law and grandchildren. He thinks that Gil-galad probably suspected as well and there’s a small part of Erestor that is thankful that he died before he could put it together. He becomes sickened with himself when he thinks that about Finno’s beloved son.

Erestor rather enjoys his life now. Imladris, for the most part, is peaceful. Other than a few rowdy visitors every couple of decades, it reminds him of how life used to be Before. When he was still Maitimo, when grandfather was king and before the accursed Silmarils. When his only worries was that Atar would do something stupid towards his half-brothers and trying to keep his brothers in line.  

Even after Elrond finally returned with him to Lindon, life was peaceful. He spent hours in libraries, hidden away until Elrond dragged him with him to Eregion to visit Celebrimbor and then to Imladris after Eregion fell and Tyelpe was murdered. He refuses to think of those years trapped in the valley, besieged and praying that Sauron’s forces continued to stay at bay - that Lindon hadn’t fallen that Númenor would come and help drive the Enemy back - he thinks back to the War of the Wrath and laughs at how the Vanyar who never cared for the race of men never even met them until then can be compared to the second born.

When Sauron was dragged away in chains to Númenor the small part of Erestor that was still Maedhros watched and wanted to laugh to cry to see him finally know how it felt to be someone’s prisoner - to be chained and unable to escape. Knowing that his tormentor who still taunted him spoke to him in his dreams would know how he felt all those centuries ago.

When Númenor fell and Sauron rose up to power again, Erestor remembered that he was damned and life wasn’t fair that it had been too good to be true.

He remembers the Last Alliance as a series of blurs. He remembers returning to Imladris, Gil-galad dead and the line of High Kings with him. He remembers Sauron defeated. He remembers Elrond raging that Isildur should have destroyed the Ring. He remembers Elrond and Celebrían’s wedding, the birth of Elladan and Elrohir and of Arwen. He remembers the long peace that overcame Middle-earth finally.

He remembers the day they found Maglor.

[gffa]

SO, HEY, YOU WANT A PRIMER FOR WHERE TO START WITH LORD OF THE RINGS/THE HOBBIT/SILMARILLION FIC TO READ? The other night @belldreams asked me if the fic I was currently reading (as I mentioned that I’d been enthralled by it) was accessible to a layperson and, sadly, I don’t think it is.  But then my eyes lit up with an unholy glee because I do know a bunch of fics that are great for a layperson to read! I assume that a person will at least have seen the movies and are thus reasonably aware of how Tolkien’s world is set up, but you don’t have to know the history of the world to start reading these!  This is a list that is aimed at gently easing a person into the wider fandom or just providing a starting place, if that’s what you want! LET’S INTRODUCE YOU TO SOME FUCKIN’ ELVES: ➡ I have a series of posts about The Silmarillion which are told in a Very Broad Strokes kind of way and not always in chronological order (so maybe you should start with the first fic rec instead? idk!) and they’re still in progress, but I had a great time with Let Me Tell You About The Silmarillion:  Part One, part two, part three, part four, part five.  (The rest are written, I just need to post them!)  They’re cute, ridiculous yelling about my Elf Feelings and won’t take a person that long to read.  (And it’s a lot of names to throw at a person, but, hey, you can always come talk to me spoonfeed you another overview, if you like!  ♥) ➡ Or you can listen to the audiobook here!  I warn, even with having the audio on in the background, it’s still a very dry and dense prose.  I love it!  But it’s definitely not going to be for everyone. ➡ But if the whole thing is too much and you just want an overview, I also really liked this series of Lord of the Rings Mythology (part 1, 2) that will take you less than ten minutes to listen to and they set up the basic structure of Powers in this world. ➡ A good quick overview (only 10 minutes of talking) on Feanor and the creation and then theft of the Silmarils.  It’s definitely more on the side of asshole!Feanor, but, well, they’re not wrong!  There’s a whole series of videos to tell about the history of Arda, all of which are generally under 10 minutes each and are good overviews!  Caveat:  Don’t trust the pronunciations here, they’re off sometimes.  But, then, that’s a thing all over--they’re hard! ➡ I also laughed at The Silmarillion in under three minutes, which acknowledges how much it skips/gives only the very broadest of strokes on (so you may be tempted to assume things, but there’s very often deeper reasons) but did indeed get the story in in under three minutes! OH BUT YOU WANT SOME FIC TO READ: The Silmarillion Rewrite by Jenavira - A fic that lovingly “translates” the Silmarillion from the admittedly very dry style Tolkien has and this is a great fic to start with if you want to get an idea of the shape of the Silmarillion.  It’s hilariously funny and does a great job of familiarizing you with the characters!  My only caveat is that you can’t take it as gospel, it’s not the same as reading the book yourself, because some things are open to interpretation--for example, in reading the fic, it sounds like the Dwarves gained sentience on their own, while in the book I think the takeaway is that Iluvatar granted them sentience, as he’s the only one able to give true life in that way.  I say this not to argue, but to remind potential readers that Tolkien fans have been debating this stuff for decades for a reason!  (And also I’m a Thingol stan for life, but I admit not everyone shares that bias with me.  XD) But absolutely read this fic, it’s hilarious and does a stellar job at being just a fun read and getting you to know who the hell Maedhros and Maglor and Finrod and all of those people are, the history of the Great War with Melkor and Sauron, how all of this is important to the history of Middle-Earth and the rest of the world. The Starlit Sky by Makalaure - You probably need a little context for this one, but it’s not hard to pick up!  Basically:  Once upon a time, a brilliant asshole made some shiny rocks that everyone wanted, Fantasy Satan stole them, he and his seven sons swore an Oath to get them back, a lot of really bad shit happened because they were bound to that Oath, and eventually two of the sons attacked the havens of Elrond and his twin brother Elros’ parents place and killed a bunch of them and then wound up with two Elflings on their hands.  There, now you can read the backstory of Elrond and Elros growing up in the care of Maedhros and Maglor and cry about feelings with me.  Because, yeah, by the end of this one I definitely had tears in my eyes for understanding how Elrond could love these Elves, even after all the terrible, terrible things they had done. WHAT ELSE YOU WILL FIND HERE: -  OR INSTEAD EXPAND ON THE CHARACTERS YOU ALREADY KNOW -  OR READ SOME FELLOWSHIP-CENTRIC STUFF, JUST ‘CAUSE THEY’RE GOOD -  NOW THAT YOU’RE MORE FAMILIAR, HERE’S MORE COMPLICATED FIC

OR INSTEAD EXPAND ON THE CHARACTERS YOU ALREADY KNOW: In a Field of Blood and Stone by ScribeofArda - The Battle of the Five Armies, this time told from the point of view of the Elves.  One of my biggest criticisms of the movies (especially The Hobbit movies) is that they did the Elves so wrong and this fic can be read without having ever picked up any of the books, but I think it does a lovely job of showing what the Elves should be like, especially Thranduil.  There’s some great stuff with him and Legolas, as well as Bard and Bilbo have great roles.  Also, it’s just a incredibly engaging fic that adds such rich detail to that battle! Interrupted Journeys by ellisk - This series is legitimately my favorite in the entire fandom because you can read it without knowing anything beyond the movies (though, they’re not really movie!characterization and instead truer to how Elves really are) but you can also pick up so much on Sindarin politics, if you’re familiar with them.  The first time I read this series, I didn’t really know that much about who Thingol was, other than some Sindarin king, but I followed the context of the scenes referencing him just fine.  Later, once I was more familiar with the Silmarillion, I gained a ton of admiration for the thought that went into this fic, the history of the world, why most Silvan Elves loved Thranduil, but some did not and why a Sinda ruling Silvan Elves was still a thing even thousands of years later. But it’s also just an incredible series of stories about worldbuilding for Greenwood the Great, it builds up characters for important relationships with Legolas and Thranduil, ones that I deeply care about, and it has an incredible plot, that spans over a million words and never, ever stops being enthralling.  And yet my favorite moments are probably the quieter ones, the little Elflings getting into trouble in various ways, how their parents talk to them, as Elves do, and the absolutely stellar characterization of Thranduil especially.  My only caveat is to start with Part 3, because that’s when Legolas is born and I think it’s easier to get hooked from there! daw the minstrel’s fic - I love pretty much everything of daw’s, the Legolas’ childhood and stories about growing up in Mirkwood are wonderful.  There’s a fair amount of OCs (whom I have grown to love!) that you can skip over the scenes when they’re not interacting with a canon character (Thranduil or Legolas) if you like, but are ones I’ve found myself rereading several times because they just do so much good at plot and worldbuilding!  They’re all wonderful, but the ones I started with where All Those Who Wander, Good Neighbors, Legolas’s Begetting Day, and Growing Under Shadow.  They’re all set in the same universe at different points in his life and all fantastic! Ich Dien - To Serve the KingdomMissFaust - This was written before the third Hobbit movie came out but I love it and it’s one of those that I think a layperson could read just fine!  It’s been completely Jossed by BOTFA but I think it’s still readable and it does a much more gorgeous job of taking the movie versions (at least in the first two movies) and writing them with more care and staying true to their spirits.  Also, it’s just really cool worldbuilding! OR READ SOME FELLOWSHIP-CENTRIC STUFF, JUST ‘CAUSE THEY’RE GOOD: A Bit of Rope by Aiwendiel - “What if Gandalf had survived at Moria?” is the question this fic poses and it’s not especially a nice answer.  Things do ultimately work out but it kind of leaves you with the impression of the canon version of events, as difficult as they were, were what was necessary for the best outcome.  This one is something of an exhausting read, but in the way it’s meant to be, in how you absolutely feel Frodo’s journey with him.  It’s gorgeously told and I was absolutely engrossed by it and I think it keeps the spirit of the canon incredibly well.  And it’s basically like five novels worth and yet I tore through them at a speed because OMG SO GOOD. The River by Indigo Bunting - Another gorgeous Fellowship-era fic, where Legolas and Sam accidentally get separated from the main group and you think that it’d be such a random pairing and yet it works brilliantly well.  It adds such depth to both characters, it does beautifully at writing both of them and this world they’re in, and just slides right on by as you read it.  It doesn’t sound terribly exciting when I put it that way, but it really is! Far Horizons by Bodkin - While there are other post-canon fics that I love, I think this one has my heart in a way that others don’t, because it’s my favorite one for Thranduil and Legolas in the Fourth Age.  There might be some characters you’re not familiar with (like Elladan and Elrohir) but I don’t think there’s anything you can’t pick up from context.  Basically, Thranduil, Elrond/Celebrian, and Celeborn/Galadriel are all finally in Aman and they want to establish their own realm--this is the story of the difficulties of that.  It’s such a sharp and clever story, there are so many genuinely charming and hilarious moments, there’s a great polish to the way the story is told, and it really builds a community for these Elves in a way that is both pleasing to my id and to my nerdy worldbuilding/character-loving side!  And there’s even plot!  I couldn’t ask for more. NOW THAT YOU’RE MORE FAMILIAR, HERE’S MORE COMPLICATED FIC: And What Happened Afterarrogantemu - As much as I would deeply and truly love to shove this fic at everyone who’s ever flitted by the Tolkien movies at any point, it’s one where you need to know who these people are and their histories before you can read it.  You need to know who Feanor is, you need to know who Celebrimbor is, you need to know who the Valar are, etc.  Once you do, though?  Oh, this is quite possibly the grandest post-canon fic I could have asked for.  It’s everything I never knew I needed--Feanor and Fingolfin’s reunion brought me to tears, Frodo and Celebrimbor’s conversation made me physically ache for how perfect it was--and it’s written in such a gorgeously cathartic, beautiful way.  I felt the lushness of the world in all the little details and conversations written here.  I felt peace at what was put forth here.  I fell in love with Silm fandom all over again because this one sparked such love in me again. Return to Aman by bunn - This is the first fic of the author’s I read and I just sunk right into it and didn’t want to come up for air whenever I could read on it.  It’s the story of Elrond grabbing Maglor before sailing off to Aman at the end of Lord of the Rings and what happens from there.  It’s a gorgeous look at what happens when the main story is done, at Elven politics and characterization, and the Feanorians trying to heal.  It doesn’t negate what Maglor was a part of or what the Oath meant, what others suffered because of his deeds, but also it’s such a kind fic and so it’s incredibly Elven.  I fell in love with this and it breathes such life into all the characters (god, every single scene with Finrod makes me fall in love with him more, how is that possible, how am I not already at maximum Finrod love!? and yet LOVE HIM MORE I DO), it’s so sharp and clever, that I really loved it. Quenta Narquelion by bunn - This is the fic I was reading when bell asked me if it was accessible to a layperson and, for all that it’s a retelling of the events of The Silmarillion, I think it draws on too much context from before they got to Middle-Earth (it starts in the immediate aftermath of Feanor’s death) for that.  But once you know the shape, it’s a gorgeous story for breathing life into the characters and the events that took place--not shying away from the horribleness of what they’re doing, but also showing that they are still Elves, that they’re not just evil, because they weren’t.  There’s such charm and charisma in this writing, there’s such a strong sense of the world and how all the pieces were moving, and how it makes everything so interesting that I love it.  I especially recommend it for the Maedhros & Maglor & Elros & Elrond feelings because BOY DID I HAVE THOSE. Oak and Willow by Potboy - Marnie writes absolutely beautiful fic and this one is no exception!  This is another “gap filler” fic and I think it might not be wholly readable by laypeople just yet, but if you have a vague understanding of the Silmarillion, it’s GORGEOUS.  One of the things about Tolkien’s world is that it’s told from the point of view of the Noldor, so OF COURSE the other Elves all look like jerks.  What this fic does is then tell the story from the Sindar’s point of view and suddenly there’s a whoooole lot more context going on here!  It’s gorgeously done and, oh, if you like Galadriel or want Celeborn to have more depth, to understand why Galadriel loved him in this author’s hands, it’s a brilliant read for that.  Gap-filler or just really great characterization/worldbuilding, this fic covers both. This Taste of Shadow by Mira_Jade - This is a collection of various Tolkien prompts and there are so many incredible gems here.  It spans from the Silmarillion to The Hobbit to The Lord of the Rings, it spans from the Elves to the Men to the Dwarves, they’re all here, at some point.  Sure, primarily it’s about Elves, but the Elves are the ones we know the most about, and I think you need to know The Silmarillion to read this, but once you have the shape of it, this is some fantastic filling-in-the-spaces pieces with a boggling amount of variety of characters!  You can skip around to your faves if you like, if a chapter depends on reading another one first, it’ll tell you, and so pick your beloved character and there’s probably a gorgeous fic in here about them!

[soabas-world]

Barufel [The Greatest of Families] - Snippet

Episode Three – The Road Goes On

May 19th, 3, Fourth Age – Rivendell

“I rather believed that your husbands were never going to allow you out of their sights again, Gwathelion,” the Lord Elrond remarked wryly, when Bilbo tracked him down inside his uncle’s private library. “Nor were any of your Dwarven Kindred, for that matter.”

Elrond did, in fact, have good reason to believe this, Bilbo acknowledged, as his husbands, nephews, and brothers had been consistently behaving in a manner that one could rightly classify as overprotective since Bilbo had properly reunited with them all. They all seemed to be of the opinion that their Hobbit might vanish into thin air if they did not keep a proper watch of him on a constant basis. Bilbo rather despaired to imagine how much worse they were all going to behave once they were on the road and away from the safety of Rivendell.

“I snuck away while my older faunts were distracting them with their archery lessons. Tauriel and Lindir were ‘not arguing’ about the proper way to wear a quiver – and my children and the Company seemed to find such a conversation exceedingly amusing – when I slipped off the training field,” Bilbo admitted, shrugging. “I needed to talk to you and to give you this,” Bilbo nodded his head toward the grey cloth-wrapped parcel in his arms, “Without an audience.”

“You may always come to me, at any time and for any reason,” Elrond knelt down so that his dusk-silver eyes were level with Bilbo’s own, a tinge of regret in his voice. “I am quite loath to send you so far away from me, nephew mine, even if it is the best way to keep your physical person safe and the only possible means we have of healing the wounds that your soul carries.”

Bilbo smiled at his uncle with gentle affection, “I know, Emelmuindor. I shall miss you so very much after we depart tomorrow. Sometimes, I rather wish that the world were not quite as large as it is. It would have made the journey to Mordor a shade less difficult.”

Elrond chuckled and agreed, “Perhaps a shade.”

“Oh, here,” Bilbo offered the medium-sized bundle in his arms to his uncle, “This is for you.”

Bilbo’s Elven uncle accepted the soft package and deftly unwound the cloth, which was protecting the gift inside of it, in a single, swift motion to expose a tapestry that had been folded ever so carefully. Elrond let it fall open and then gasped in wonder and bittersweet delight as he took in what Bilbo had painstakingly depicted on the shimmering fabric.

It had taken Bilbo two full months to weave, because of both its size and his desire to ensure that it was absolutely perfect before he presented it to his uncle. The tapestry portrayed that which could never again be real – Elrond and his wife, Bilbo’s aunt Celebrían, with their children, Bilbo’s parents, and Bilbo himself in a field of pink verbenas, smiling and carefree. Bilbo had carefully covered the front of the tapestry with a clear polish that would not crack as it dried and had blown a very thin layer of silver dust onto it, giving the scene a hazy quality, as if it were a memory that you could view with your eyes and not just your mind. The border was dark silver with Quenya runes that spoke of family and unyielding love embroidered on it in a lighter shade of the same color.

“Bilbo,” Elrond breathed out, his voice thick in his throat as he spoke, “This is beautiful. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” Bilbo replied softly. “I know that the loss of them still affects you greatly during the summer months; I hoped that this might help, a bit.”

“It shall,” Elrond agreed, pulling Bilbo into a warm hug. “And you are right, the summer is when their absence is the hardest to bear – I lost both my wife and my sister during the pinnacle of that season… and then I nearly lost my nephew as well. I cannot tell you how grateful I am that you survived your trials in Mordor, Gwathelion.”

“Because of your tireless efforts,” Bilbo reminded, returning the embrace. “That I lived, despite the thick poison in my lungs and the damage wrought to my soul by the Ring, was because you refused to give up on me, when even the Lady Galadriel feared that I would not survive. You toiled for a solid week without rest to heal me, expending much of your power to do so, Uncle.”

Gandalf and Galadriel had relayed as much, when Bilbo had finally awoken from the unnatural sleep that had claimed him after the Ring had been destroyed. Bilbo could only just remember that choking sleep, the thick black that had done its best to consume him, but what he recalled best about that nightmarish time was the warm light that he clung to, for it made him feel safe and reminded him that he was still loved, and that he had followed back into the realm of life. That light, Bilbo now knew, had been his Elven uncle obstinately refusing to abandon his Hobbit nephew to the clutches of death.

“I would have given it all, had it been necessary,” Elrond insisted seriously, pulling back so that Bilbo could see the resolve writ upon his countenance. Bilbo grinned, his tone as sure as his faith in his favorite uncle, “I know.”

“It truly was that close?” Dwalin’s voice sounded from the doorway, making Bilbo start. He spun around to see Dwalin and Thorin hovering just outside of the room.

Elrond did not react as if he were surprised at all by the sudden presence of Bilbo’s husbands – he probably had known that they were there all along, lurking outside of his private library and listening in on what was supposed to be a private conversation between uncle and nephew – he simply raised an eyebrow at the pair and surreptitiously folded the tapestry over his arm, concealing the image sewn upon it. Bilbo, for his part, had to suppress an exasperated sigh, because he truly had not wanted his husbands to know that the perpetuated fallacy of his death had very nearly not been an erroneous account of those particular events at all. They worried enough about him and as much as Bilbo’s heart and soul sung at the obvious care and concern that they displayed for him, he worried that their overly defensive actions were spurred more by guilt for their mistakes than by anything else.

Bilbo knew that Thorin and Dwalin loved him and that they had missed him terribly, but after that first emotional day of being together again he had started to fear that once their guilt had faded, once their elation at knowing he was alive settled into something more temperate, that they would remember he was the Hobbit whom they had been so unsure about keeping for months, the person whom they had so adamantly wanted to change even after their marriage vows had been uttered. Bilbo could never be a Dwarf, would never value many of the things that Dwarves did, like gold and combat and glory, and once they truly realized that… well, what if they decided that he was not good enough again? What if the proud and suspicious people of Erebor, who already called him Prince Consort with such gladness even in his absence – as Balin had cheerfully reported to him – dismissed him as unworthy because he could not properly relate to them?

As resolute as Bilbo had been when first asked, he now had serious doubts about returning to Erebor. Oh, he still wanted to go – because even the idea of parting from his husbands and brothers and nephews made his soul ache something fierce and wretched – but fear pounded at him incessantly and anxiety gnawed at his heart mercilessly.

It did not help that Thorin and Dwalin had avoided touching him as much as they possibly could over the past week that they had rested in Rivendell. They would hug him and hold him when he asked it of them, but only when he asked and never of their own volition. They refused to kiss him, or sleep with him – innocently or otherwise – and even when they did embrace him, their hands did not wander as they nearly always had before, during the Quest and while they rested in Erebor following Smaug’s very timely demise. They let Bilbo touch them, on their arms and shoulders and backs, as much as he desired to, but they rarely reciprocated and never initiated anything but brief and entirely innocent caresses when they seemed to believe that he needed such from them.

Bilbo’s current misgivings about his place in the Mountain and his husbands’ behavior were, of course, the very subjects that he had wished to converse with his uncle, in the strictest of confidences, about as he hoped that Elrond would provide some measure of reassuring clarity regarding their actions that Bilbo was apparently incapable of perceiving on his own. But he could hardly do so now, not when Dwalin and Thorin had entered the room and were all but hovering over his person.

“It was closer than anyone would have liked,” Elrond tactfully replied a few tense moments later, when it became blatantly obvious that Bilbo was decidedly not going to confirm Dwalin’s all too apprehensive query, would have rather marched back into the heart of Mordor than do anything of the kind, “But Bilbo survived and has recovered well from those wounds. My magic played a part, but his own strength saw to the rest.”

And there it was, the afore mentioned guilt, flashing like lightning across the finely chiseled features of the Dwarrow whom Bilbo loved beyond reason. Sadness lanced through Bilbo’s heart, but he managed to keep it off of his face and hidden from his husbands and uncle with only a little difficulty. He had quite a considerable amount of practice at concealing his true and more unpleasant emotions from others, after all. Hobbits used manners like a mask to obscure what their relatives and neighbors might find disagreeable and Bilbo had been no exception to this rule – what confidence he had gained to bluntly express his feelings and thoughts during the Quest had been stripped away in the aftermath.

“We should have been with you, Khajmel,” Thorin spoke mournfully.

A vision of Thorin and Dwalin shorn and shackled – the prisoners of Orcs – swirled into his mind’s eye. It was but a remnant of a waking dream, one of the many that he had been forced to endure during his journey to Mordor thanks to the thrice-damned and wretched Ring, but the flashing images still horrified him as much now as they had then.

“No,” Bilbo denied emphatically, shaking his head to rid it of the horrible scene. “No, I’m glad you weren’t. That you two, that all of the Company, were safe in Erebor was an immeasurable comfort to me, Fy Alawon. It was one less thing for me to fear as I journeyed South; that Sauron was incapable of harming any of you to punish me for destroying the Ring.”

His husbands, rather unfortunately, did not seem to have been made one whit happier by such a declaration. Perhaps, Bilbo acknowledged, he should refrain from making remarks that even slightly eluded to how frightened he had been while on his own. It would only increase their guilt and that was the last thing that Bilbo wanted.

A soft knock on the open door of the library silenced any reply that Thorin or Dwalin might have had and then an Elf with hair so blonde that it was nearly white glided into the room and inclined her head respectfully, “I beg pardon for my intrusion, my Lord Elrond, but a missive has arrived from Caras Galadhon for Ernil uin Glaur that bears Mithrandir’s mark.”

“Gandalf,” Bilbo murmured, enormously relieved to see the sealed dark green parchment resting on the silver tray in the Elven maiden’s dainty hands. If his Godfather was well enough to write then he could not be too terribly injured.

“Thank you, Vanlanthiriel,” Elrond said as Bilbo accepted the proffered letter eagerly.

“Yes, thank you,” Bilbo agreed, waiting only until the attendant had departed from the room before breaking the letter’s seal and beginning to read.

My Dear Godson,

I can not fully express in a mere letter how glad I was to learn that you are safe and out of Saruman’s tainted reach, for I feared the absolute worst when I discovered his foul plans. I am so grievously sorry for the fate which has befallen the Shire, befallen your gentle people, and regret beyond regret that I was unable to prevent it from happening. The White Council exists to ensure that such things never happen and yet we utterly failed to protect Yavanna’s Light in Arda; I cannot deny that this was almost entirely due to our own collective arrogance and our willful blindness regarding the faults of one of our own. That your people paid the price is a tragedy, a travesty, one that I and the rest of the Council shall grieve for the rest of our lives.

Rest assured, my dear Bilbo, that the fallen Istari shall not remain unpunished for the atrocities which he has committed in his devastating madness. He shall be dealt with, shall be banished from Arda, one way or another, to meet the divine justice of the Valar. I swear it shall be done.

Your uncle, the Lord Elrond, has made known to me and the rest of your kin here, in fair Lothlórien, that your Dwarves have come for you and mean to bear you to the Kingdom of Erebor. If this truly pleases you, then I am pleased as well – I do believe that you will be happiest in Erebor, even if Thorin and Dwalin hardly deserve you. Do inform them, from me, that I can and will turn them into toads, if the need should arise.

May Yavanna ever bless you with love and laughter and Green, dear Bilbo.

Gandalf Greyhame

Post Script: The Lady Galadriel has informed me that I ought to relay my improving health to you. I am perfectly fine and there is no need for you to concern yourself over my person. I have been injured far worse than this, on many occasions.

Bilbo felt himself choking on air in stark incredulity as the final few sentences sunk in and then he thrust the letter toward his uncle unceremoniously, “Read the last bit.”

Elrond took the piece of parchment without question and focused on the bottom of the page, his left eyebrow quirking upward in a combination of disbelief and resigned exasperation. After a long moment, Bilbo’s uncle sighed, “Mithrandir certainly has a way with words.”

“I love him, but sometimes I really do want to hit him over the head with his own staff,” Bilbo muttered. “Honestly, telling someone who is already worried that, ‘I have been injured far worse than this, on many occasions,’ is not at all helpful.”

“Believe me, nephew mine,” Elrond returned the letter to Bilbo, “As tempting as the urge is, it won’t actually help. His skull is simply too thick.”

Thorin snorted in startled amusement at the implied admission, “When?”

“When he marched himself into my home and informed me that he was taking my untrained nephew to face the last of the Great Drakes,” Elrond replied dryly.

Come to think of it, Gandalf had gone to bed early that first night that the Company had been in Rivendell during the Quest, Bilbo recalled, as the Grey Wizard had claimed to be suffering from a minor headache. Bilbo had not thought much of it, at the time, because he had been significantly distracted by his uncle and cousins, whom had tried very, very hard to convince him into not continuing to head eastward with the Dwarves. If the Company had not slipped away like shadows in the night, while Gandalf had kept the White Council busy, then it was very likely that one, if not all four, of Bilbo’s cousins would have chased after him with the intention of dragging him back to the Valley of Imladris.

“I knew how to use a bow,” Bilbo protested. “And I was fairly proficient, even then.”

Elrond shot him an unimpressed look, one that made him feel as if he were once again a wild fauntling with a penchant for getting himself into trouble, “Yes, but you didn’t have one until you got here and by that point you had already encountered Orcs and Wargs and had nearly been eaten alive by three Cave Trolls.”

“He has a natural skill with short-blades, both when it comes to throwin’ knives from a distance and in usin’ daggers in a close-range fight,” Dwalin relayed in Bilbo’s defense, pride ringing in his voice and clearly visible in his countenance. “And his sword work was improvin’, in leaps and bounds, durin’ each trainin’ session that we had on our way to Erebor. Faster than most of the Dwarves that I trained back in Ered Luin and they had years to advance their skills.”

Having pride directed toward him was, Bilbo supposed, much better than the leaden guilt. At least it was not the apathy or the disdain for his person that he secretly dreaded might come. Bilbo was not overly fond of weapons or fighting, quite the opposite in fact, but he knew that as long as he pushed himself to become stronger and faster – less helpless and weak and like a grocer – then he could, at the bare minimum, retain a modicum of his husbands’ respect as their guilt dwindled, day by day. Being esteemed as a capable warrior would be better than them thinking him worth nothing at all.

So, Bilbo did not hesitate in deciding to say, “I’ve hardly mastered any of those skills, though, or any of the others that you wanted me to learn. You said that you wanted to establish regular training sessions once the Mountain was secure. If you’re both still willing to teach me, I enjoyed learning from you.”

Dwalin and Thorin looked immediately pleased by the request, proving that Bilbo had made the right choice in asking. He had not lied to his Melodies, not really. As much as he despised battle, he did understand why having the ability to defend oneself and those whom one loved was such an obligatory and vital skill to hone if one planned to traverse the Wildes of Arda – and he had derived some satisfaction from knowing that he could protect his Kindred, if need be, because of the instruction that he had received during the Quest. He had discovered that the exercise which naturally came with the training was an excellent way to relieve stress and irritation, as well. Plus, having his husbands’ undivided and physical attention was something that he craved rather desperately and he was willing to go to extreme measures to get it.

“Absolutely, Laslel,” Dwalin replied eagerly, his arm and shoulder muscles flexing ever so slightly. It was, Bilbo knew, an inadvertent indication of his excitement for such a scheme; one of the many things that Bilbo had missed so much about his Melodies.

Thorin’s eyes sparkled, as if starlight was reflecting off of twin sapphires, “We can go back down to the training fields now, if you like. There’s time enough until Luncheon for us to run sword drills with you.”

And if Bilbo wished that his husband had been speaking more in the figurative sense than in the literal, well, he kept it to himself and just nodded, managing a small smile, “I would like that very much.”

[absoluteabsolem]

I have seen Beauty and the Beast and I have a lot of things to say so.. here I come (spoilers, spoilers everywhere).

I won't lie, I went to the cinema with a lot of skepticism and apprehension because I legit thought it was going to be average at best. See I've always loved the animated version and it holds a sacred place in my Disney-fan small heart, so I was a bit scared they'd ruin it because well, what if the Beast is horrible, what if Lumière and Cogsworth and the whole family are completely messed-up, what if everything goes wrong, what if Emma Watson isn't a good choice for Belle after all, what if Be Our Guest is terrible, what if all the songs lose their magic even though Alan Menken is back for the soundtrack, what if what if what if.

My experience was a bit different than it would've been if I had seen the film in my regular cinema. You see, Beauty and the Beast was my very first IMAX experience (and my eyes took their time to adjust to the incredible visuals). It was amazingly beautiful, especially during a few scenes I'll mention later. Mind you, I didn't love everything in this live-action, but my global impression is more than positive. My expectations were low to say the least, and gods was I wonderfully surprised.

I got chills the moment I heard the first notes of the prologue, mostly because of the nostalgia. I think Alan Menken adapted the soundtrack as best as could be done, but some parts lacked a bit of the original magic in my opinion. The prologue has always been my favourite instrumental part, and the beginning of it wasn't as powerful as the original one (once we get to the enchantress, the instruments take you somewhere else entirely though). The introduction is narrated by Emma Thompson, and that was a wonderful idea. I've always loved her voice and damn she does the job. Everyone needs to know that.

A song was written for the film to present the arrogant and empty Prince as well as the people who lived with him; I disliked it, very much. There are two songs I always skip while listening to the soundtrack, and it's one of them. It made me feel nauseous at the very sight of the Prince, the whole scene was incredibly disgusting to my eyes and ears. Not because the actors and the song were terrible, but because of the toxic atmosphere coming from all these people.

Then the Enchantress showed up. She had some Galadriel vibes, she was mesmerizing. It was my « oh, I guess it won't be so bad » moment, that's when I decided I would stop living in fear of every single scene. The Enchantress my dudes, the Enchantress was perfect. Something I loved in this version is that they covered every narrative error (there might be new ones but I didn't see them); the Prince hasn't been a Beast for 10 years so he wasn't 11 at the time but already a grown-ass bitch; the Enchantress erased everyone's memories of the castle and the people who lived in it, thus why no one ever looked for them. Also, every time a petal falls, the dishes lose a bit of their humanity (until they turn into litteral objects once the rose has died) and the castle crumbles a little. I think it makes the whole thing a bit more adult, it adds a dark side to an already quite gloomy story (when you think about it).

I loved the way Belle's song was filmed, the choregraphy was incredible, and my heart melted when Emma Watson sang the part about the book she's reading. Of course it's also the time we get introduced to Gaston. LeFou and Gaston's dynamic is amazing, they're both far more fabulous in the live-action. Their dialogues never failed to make me laugh, and a few scenes with Maurice were just perfect.

Since I'm talking about Maurice, another moment created for this film was a short song sang by him once Belle comes back home, and I loved it. Maurice has a real personnality here, you get attached to him quite quickly, Kevin Kline did a wonderful job. You learn a lot of things about Belle's mother. Every single character has a real backstory here and it was interesting to discover all these new things (even the Enchantress is a more or less regular character). Even Philippe is still a mighty hero.

The first time Belle and Beast meet was great, they changed it a bit because her father doesn't want to leave so she throws him out of his cell and locks herself in it. Also it's Lumière who opens the door to show Belle her new room, so it clearly shows than the Beast does not give a single fuck about Belle at the time when he was a bit more polite in the animated.

Once we go back to the village, it is of course, time for Gaston's song, and it's beautiful, though less exaggerated as could be anticipated (animation has no limits right). LeFou steals the show here (and he's totally gay for Gaston). There's an instrumental part in the song where everyone is dancing on the tables and all and it was so cool you guys. I was waiting for this scene to come and I was not disappointed.

I didn't rly mention Lumière & Co before please forgive me; Ewan McGregor's completely failed French accent is the best thing I've ever heard, everyone is perfect in their roles but what can I say Lumière has always been my fave. The design of everyone in the castle in so on point my dudes ! I gotta say I have a bit of a problem with the permanent duck-face of the Beast but hey they did their best (plus you only notice it when he's not moving and the camera is focused on his face).

But now my dear friends, now is the time to talk about the very best thing in this film. The song we all waited for (nO I AM NOT TALKING ABOUT EVERMORE YOU LITTLE SHITS), the song that made me wish I could visit that bloody castle when I was a kid..

Be. Our. Guest.

You guys. Fellow bros. You all need to see and listen to Be Our Guest. It's perfect, it's a magical experience, Ewan McGregor is wonderful, the choregraphy is so mind-blowing the special effects team probably had a few nervous breakdowns while doing Be Our Guest and it was worth all the struggle. IT WAS SO FUCKING GORGEOUS ALL THESE COLOURS *coughs* srsly watch this film in IMAX if you can. I couldn't stop smiling during the whole scene (also I cried a little because I loved it so much but shhhh). There are no words to truly express how I felt during that moment, I wanted to sing along and annoy everyone in the cinema but I didn't 'cause I'm a nice person. It was flawless.

The way the Beast and Belle slowly discover each other is still lovely af, especially when he shows her the library (in a different way than he does in the animated and I gotta say I prefer this version, it was funnier but still in character). They spend a lot of time together reading lots of books and you can feel time passing by where it could seem like the story took 3 days to happen in the animated (and thus giving assholes a reason to shout WOW STOCKHOLM SYNDROME WOW WOW)

And while we see a romance blossoming we can also observe Gaston revealing his rotten core, his charming mask falling to show us what a monster he is. Luke Evans is absolutely terrifying in this film. He just seems kinda dumb at the beginning but then LeFou fails to calm him and the real beast of the film is released. We see it when Gaston tries to kill Maurice by leaving him unconscious in the woods after failing to find the castle, but in the Mob Song it's truly terrifying. I've read a few reviews and everyone agrees that the Mob Song in the live-action is far, far better than the animated one. The only complain I have is that the camera doesn't focuse on Gaston during the whole thing, and it's not a very important detail so yeah, the Mob Song slays (also Luke Evans sings divinely and LeFou has a great line in the song you need to listen to it just for that tbh).

(if you've seen the film you'll notice I didn't talk about Evermore because I hate that song even if the idea of the Beast climbing his castle to see Belle leaving breaks my heart, I think it was ridiculous. Sorry guys)

OH ALSO I FORGOT but there's a new song taking place after Belle enters her room for the first time, and everybody sings in it, it's kind of a different version of Human Again but better in my opinion. It's so lovely, the lyrics are simply beautiful.

aNYWAY this is getting quite long so I'll try to make it quick. The battle between Lumière & Co and the villagers is really cool, it's also the moment Gaston betrays LeFou so he decides to join the good guys, because LeFou actually is a nice person.

I'm kinda disappointed Gaston's hair isn't loose when he fights the Beast in this version because I just really love long hair and it made him look even more insane. He also uses a gun instead of a knife and shoots the Beast four times if I recall well. His eyes are cold af while he does it but I think killing someone with a knife is more personal and shows more hatred than using a gun, so I was a tiny bit « meh » during that part, but it was still breath-taking. Gaston telling the Beast he's there to kill him because Belle sent him, then the last spark of hope leaving the Beast's eyes THEN BELLE SHOWS UP AND GASTON GETS FUCKING REKT BY THIS GIGANTIC ANGRY LION anyway it was great I just like to rant about details no one else notices.

But then !! shit happens !!! the Beast dies before Belle tells him she loves him, the last petal falls, Lumière & Co turn into objects, despair and sorrow is everywhere, tHE CURSE IS NOT BROKEN BUT DO NOT FEAR MY DUDES THE ENCHANTRESS ENTERED THE CASTLE WITH ALL THE OTHER VILLAGERS AND SHE SAW THAT BELLE LOVED HIM SO SHE BREAKS THE CURSE HE COMES BACK TO LIFE AND HE TRANSFORMS

THE RIDICULOUS FIREWORKS ARE NOT THERE IN THE LIVE-ACTION

DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG I WAITED FOR THOSE SILLY THINGS TO GO AWAY ???

HAVE YOU ANY IDEA HOW LONG I WAITED ?

TWELVE YEARS

IN AZKA- wait a second

anyway

I absolutely loved the transformation, the music was beautiful and there was a golden mist and petals around the Beast it was so, so perfect. THEN BELLE SEES HIS EYES AND SHE'S LIKE « IT IS YOU » AND I'M LIKE YES IT'S HIM YOU FUCKING IDIOT DIDN'T YOU SEE HIS PORTRAIT IN THE FORBIDDEN WEST WING THAT DOESN'T EXIST okay no I didn't think that but I could have

Then everyone becomes human again and we see Cogsworth trying to run away from his newly-returned wife, Lumière and Plumette discreetly leaving because they're horny af, Mrs Potts hugging Chip and everyone's happy and Gaston's corpse is rotting somewhere and LeFou has a new boyfriend and people sing and everything's fine now, and I'm so happy I saw this film in IMAX it was absolutely worth it and you should all give it a try even if you're an annoying purist motherfucker like me (jfc this is a very long review I'm so sorry).

[thelioninmybed]

Misc replies

berrysphase replied to your post “valaraukars replied to your post “AU maeglin in mithrim with grandad...”

I'm sideeyeing myself here for sounding so "MY PET THEORY" when my whole point was there's actually a whole bunch of ways to explain Earendil not getting the Kingship and some of them can leave Maeglin the legitimate heir -- lol sorry (Assuming Gil is Orodreth's, that is, I always do too!) I figure the relative Sindarin comfort with powerful women has a lot to do with Melian, but it turns out I could go on and add screenfuls about Elwe's special status

and king's choice etc etc so uh I'll spare you... Also surely this attitude has a lot to do with why Galadriel married a Sinda.

Elves arguing inheritance politics is my catnip but it's also a bit brain-breaking -- I mean here are these immortal beings arguing about different interpretations of inheritance law when inheritance was just invented out of whole cloth so recently, you get to blatant rationalization s and bad philosophical arguments so fast

No no, it certainly can be done but you’re right, I forgot about Earendil during my analysis. Gil as Orodreth has always made sense to me, especially with how small a player he is until after the War of Wrath. God, the Galadriel-Marries-A-Sinda thing is an excellent point. I tend to skim over the more overtly patriarchal crap in the text (and in my fic, unless I’m making a point) but it explains an awful lot about why such an ambitious woman would spend so much time away from the action - she has vastly more of a say in governance etc. in Doriath than she would have in her own peoples’ lands - and of course she’d marry a Sinda, this is great. 

God, yes, how did the issue of who would inherit Finwe’s crown break society when the issue was, as far as anyone knew, entirely academic? (because it was really a question of who daddy loved more :()

psychopompious replied to your post “valaraukars replied to your post “AU maeglin in mithrim with grandad...”

"and she's his great aunt" you say that like it would be a problem for him. that's only 4th degree consanguinity, same as first cousins!

also re: Celeborn's relation to Thingol, I think in that version it's through the schrodinger's cat brother (aka Elmo) but I'd have to dig up that lovely chart of Doriath's long line of cousin marriages to check

.......okay fuck, you’re right. Maeglin would. 

If that’s the case then I suppose I owe Tolkien an apology. But he’s dead and also we have no idea what happened to Lalwen so I’m just gonna sit on it. 

vardasvapors replied to your post “Paying attention to those things is not my forte but thank you for...”

I just wanted to mention that this series of prompted au's is like my fave thing in the fandom rn

Thx xx I just wish I could be more varied with them than ‘but then everyone died anyway’

crocordile replied to your post “valaraukars replied to your post “AU maeglin in mithrim with grandad...”

to be fair though, nothing in canon suggests elwing held a position of authority by herself; you can easily assume her position comes from her marriage :/ Though ofc that is not my interpretation/headcanon at all!

re: earendil's ellegibility for high kingship: on the purely legalist side cirdan and co might just be following finrod's logic and taking finarfin's to be the royal line after fingolfin's death, or something? i always assumed that (but then again i def hc gil as oro's son which not many do hahaha)

You: “I don't think Tolkien meant for us to interpret it this way."

Me, an intellectual w. a folder of Silm erotica: "He didn't mean for us to interpret a lot of things this way. But we did."

I.E. Elwing is queen and idgaf what Tolkien wanted. 

I am with you on Gil as Oro’s (AND NOT JUST FOR SHIPPING REASONS OKAY, I HAVE LAYERS), someone pointed out the thematic neatness of the three lines of Finwe’s descendants dying to other elves, to Morgoth, and to Sauron respectively and Gil as an Arafinwean falls neatly into that. 

simaethae replied to your post “Paying attention to those things is not my forte but thank you for...”

how about they win a decisive enough victory to reclaim *one* silmaril and then morgoth flips and... volcanoes. or something. anyway you could totally contrive an AU where some of the feanorians, i'm saying C&C for kicks, have to fall back to the safety of Doriath in the ensuing chaos with their newly-obtained silmaril (since after all we know a silmaril can get you through the girdle...)

like i'm sorry this is great but i feel like it just needs more terrible decision making from the noldor to be a silm AU >>;

I’m starting to feel bad for Anon, okay? Just like Mandos, even my cold heart can be moved to pity. 

C+C in Doriath would be exquisite tbh, it’s yet another closed system where they can feed on paranoia, claw for power, and Celegorm can get into a creep off with Daeron while Thingol despises them while coveting the jewel and Melian is like ‘for fuck’s sake guys’ but no one listens. At least maybe the dwarves are free of the murder shenanigans this time around!

emilyenrose replied to your post “Paying attention to those things is not my forte but thank you for...”

ok but any au where luthien doesn't dress up as a vampire is a bad end au anyway

Truer words have never been spoken. 

vardasvapors replied to your post “Idk if you'll agree or not, but for the au where the silmarils don't...”

this is so wonderfully terrible and perfect, i love the...honesty and simplicity of the things they say, in them talking specifically about their relationship, though the feelings and Maglor's claims about finishing it can map onto much more. Also "I'd like that" JUST KILL ME.

It didn’t kill Mae though, more’s the pity :( Okay but realtalk, thank you <3 I suppose by this point all pretension’s pretty much been stripped away, they’re well past the point where lying to each other or themselves would do any good. 

valaraukars replied to your post “Ok I've find that tag .. but you actually read it? You can find it...”

You know who defied the valar? You know who doesn't get any credit? You know who is a character of true depth and nuance, constantly dismissed by an undeserving fandom? Ungoliant

No no Ungoliant, as established, abandoned her children and is a bad mother and thus a bad woman giant spider. Please keep your vile glorification of her off my blog. 

imindhowwelayinjune replied to your post “Idk if you'll agree or not, but for the au where the silmarils don't...”

You are maddeningly good at feelings that cut to the bone and somehow have this soupcon of humor - 'I'd like that,' said Maedhros wistfully - that makes the feeling go straight through the bone to the marrow

I left off the hurtful swears cause I know you don’t really mean them. Maedhros wishes feelings really worked so literally :(

[drarry-lover]

OH MY WORD! Guys! I managed to reach 5000 followers! Like seriously, that is amazing, oh my word, thank you all so much for following this little blog, you’re all so great!! ^^

I really want to do something to show you guys how honoured I feel, but I am rather poor and I lack any talents. Will you guys accept a rec-list of my all time favourite fics in a reblog-able format?

Rec will be in the cut below if anyone is interested in it, otherwise you’re all so amazing, please stay you and thank you so much!

Adrift by Cheryl Dyson 

This was supposed to be a swashbuckling pirate story. It sort of took a turn into Whaaaaa? but it's now my favorite, so I guess it's not all bad... Anyway, Auror Harry takes a vacation and runs into Pirate Draco. This fic contains MATURE content. (One-shot | 14k | M)

​All Our Secrets Laid Bare by firethesound 

Over the six years Draco Malfoy has been an Auror, four of his partners have turned up dead. Harry Potter is assigned as his newest partner to investigate just what is going on. (Multi-chapter | 140k | Explicit)

An Issue of Consequence by faithwood

Draco has woken up in an alternate universe. Or he has woken up utterly insane. Nothing else can possibly explain why Harry Potter suddenly seems to think he’s Draco’s boyfriend. An eight year fic. Post-DH. EWE. HPDM. SLASH. Mature content. (Multi-chapter | 21k | M)

A Slytherin in Gryffindor Clothing by mahaliem

Draco hits his head and wakes up in a world where he's a Gryffindor and Harry is a Slytherin. (Multi-chapter | 43k | M)

Azoth by zeitgeistic (faire_weather)

Now that Harry is back at Hogwarts with Hermione for eighth year, he realises that something’s missing from his life, and it either has to do with Ron, his boggart, Snape, or Malfoy. Furthermore, what, exactly, does it mean when one’s life is defined by the desire to simultaneously impress and annoy a portrait? Harry has no idea; he’s too busy trying not to be in love with Malfoy to care. (Multi-chapter | 88k | Explicit)

Bitter Honey, Green Night by faithwood

 An inn, an Auror, a criminal, a mystery. (One-shot | 14k | Explicit)

Black Truth by InferiorBeing

And, with bated breath, Draco traced the silver line down one more step in the family tree. Draco Lucius Malfoy... the third full blooded Veriae in the Malfoy family... and future life mate of Harry Potter. HD SLASH No HBP spoilers (Multi-chapter | 100k | T)

The Boy Who Only Lived Twice by lettered

 Harry Potter is an Unspeakable. Draco Malfoy is the wizard who shagged him. Adventure! Intrigue! Secret identities, celebrities, spies! It's all right here, folks. (One-shot | 54k | Explicit)

Chaos Theory by Tessa Crowley (tessacrowley)

Chaos: when the present determines the future, but the approximate present does not approximately determine the future. One gene varies, one neuron fires, one butterfly flaps its wings, and Draco Malfoy's life is completely different. Draco has always found a certain comfort in chaos. Perhaps he shouldn't. (Multi-chapter | 102k | Explicit)

Checkmate by Naadi

Draco has a plan to get Harry Potter, and challenges him to a game of Dare Chess. But is it love, or betrayal, he has in mind? A real game of chess is played throughout the story. A seventh year story based on canon through Goblet of Fire. (Multi-chapter | 250k | T)

Dismantle Repair by shamrocker531

How a random meeting in a coffee shop can change everything. Non-magical. Draco/Harry, some Draco/Cedric, Harry/Oliver - Warning: Explicit sexual content. (Multi-chapter | 160k | M)

Draco the Cowardly Lion by Lomonaaeren

When Draco is Sorted into Gryffindor, everything changes. For the, uh, for the better? (One-shot | 5k | Teen and up)

Eclipse by Mijan

Draco swore revenge on Harry for Lucius's imprisonment, and for once, he keeps his promise. The old rivalry turns deadly when Draco abducts Harry for Voldemort. But when Draco’s world turns upside down, the fight to save himself and Harry begins. (Multi-chapter | 309k | T)

The Fall of the Veils by lettered 

This is the fic where Muggles find out about wizards, wars are fought, Apparition is abolished, political conspiracies abound, Draco is asexual, and Harry has Legilimency sex with him. (One-shot | 60k | Mature)

Freudian Slip by jennavere 

Two years after graduating from Hogwarts, Draco Malfoy is still obsessed with Harry Potter. Fed up, his father makes him get therapy. (One-shot | 10k | M)

Friend Like Me by LadyVaderWrites

Draco's rendition of the Love story that never was. (One-shot | 11k | M)

Gilded Soul by Digitallace 

It’s one thing to hear about the daring tales of Harry Potter but quite another to be living in the middle of one. But the danger Draco is destined for seems trivial once he finds himself falling in love with Harry. (Multi-chapter | 94k | M)

Greenhouse Lessons by Cheryl Dyson

Harry and Draco have detention in Hogwarts greenhouse. Dangerous plantlife and several varieties of euphoria ensue. It was complete, but I continued it... This fic contains MATURE adult content. (Multi-chapter | 14k | M)

Gumption by Roozette

In which there are biscuits, poisonous snakes, nefarious ploys, and, oh yes, Harry is slightly mental and the heir of Gryffindor. (Multi-chapter | 6k | M)

Harbinger by Copper Vixen

Harry is a demon with a mission. His assignment? To locate and retrieve his target before he runs out of time or irreparable damage is done to the mortal plane. (Multi-chapter | 96k | T)

Harry Potter and the Children of the Future by Ahja Reyn

In Harry's 7th year, children from the future suddenly appear at Hogwarts and one of them claims to be Harry's son. Problem is, Harry isn't the only father...DMHP [NO male preg] (Multi-chapter | 83k | M)

Here’s The Pencil, Make It Work by ignatiustrout

Harry thinks "Why is Malfoy working in a coffee shop in muggle London?" is a much simpler question than, "Are you going to accept that auror offer and, if you don't, what will you do?" (One-shot | 49k | Mature)

High Priced by Cheryl Dyson

I referred to this as My Stupid Veela Fic until I decided it was fairly good. Harry is a Veela, for a change, since I was tired of Draco!Veela stories. This fic contains MATURE adult content. (One-shot | 17k | M)

How Potter Turned Malfoy Gay by Galadriell

The whole truth and nothing but the truth. And a bit of weirdness. (Multi-chapter | 36k | M)

I’m a Slave For You by BecauseIHurtSo

After being sold into Ministry enforced slavery to one Mr. Harry Potter, Draco is simply trying to find his lot in life. (One-shot | 6k | M)

In Pieces by Cheryl Dyson

Harry returns to Hogwarts as the new DADA instructor, only to find his teaching efforts thwarted by a very familiar ghost. This fic contains mature content and the necessity of one of our boys not being alive. Exactly. *grin* (Multi-chapter | 87k | M)

In the Company of a Rubber Duck by Anonymous

War makes for strange bedfellows. However that doesn't fully explain how Harry ended up sharing his bath with Draco Malfoy... nor why Malfoy was a rubber duck at the time. (One-shot | 34k | Explicit)

In Which Draco Malfoy Treats His Classmates To Bad Poetry Over Breakfast by giggly!RurouniHime

How does Draco love thee? Let him count the ways… (One-shot | 0-1 000 | G)

Letters by Galadriell

Harry inadvertently becomes penpals with Draco. Here are the letters! Harry/Draco slash. Chapter 17 contains the full story: edited, updated and with more letters. So read that instead of the first 16 chapters! COMPLETE! (Multi-chapter | 51k | M)

The Mistletoe Incident by Naadi

A story in limerick verse. HxD slash. Draco commandeers the mistletoe and Harry sets out to put a stop to it. (One-shot | 500 | T)

Must Love Quidditch by dracosoftie

Through a series of emails from an online dating site, Harry thinks he's found his perfect match. Will the bond they've forged survive after their identities are revealed? H/D. Warnings for slash, language and explicit sexual content. (Multi-chapter | 107k | M)

Nevar by Aoiika

AU. Lily and James are murdered, leaving behind their seven-year-old son. The little black bird has a hard time fighting his way through life on his own. Especially when he's found by a darkness that has followed him, and swallows him whole. HP/DM. Violence and serious abuse later on. Slow romance. (Multi-chapter | 127k | M)

Obliviation by Cheryl Dyson

When Harry decides to quit Auror Training in order to care for young Teddy over the summer, he has quite enough to worry about without Pansy Parkinson dumping a mute Draco Malfoy on his doorstep. (Multi-chapter | 27k | M)

On a Clear Day by Sara’s Girl

Draco Malfoy is waiting for his real life to begin, and it appears that he's not the only one. Coffee, charity, and the wisdom of the elderly. HPDM. Oneshot of epic proportions. (One-shot | 43k | M)

Order of Merlin by Cheryl Dyson

Draco is sent to retrieve an out-of-control Harry Potter from a local nightclub. Written for Alaana-Fair's birthday on Livejournal. MATURE ADULT CONTENT, ETC. (Muti-chapter | 13k | M)

Paradigm by Cheryl Dyson

In my quest to conquer all possible Harry/Draco cliches, I present my Rentboy!Draco fic. *evil smirk* Harry is an Auror and Draco is a Rentboy. This is not a typical rentboy story. (Muti-chapter | 59k | M)

Phantom Orchid by Cheryl Dyson

Auror Potter goes to Seattle in search of a smuggler and discovers a very familiar person in a quite unfamiliar setting. Is Draco Malfoy really who he is pretending to be? (Multi-chapter | 22k | M)

The Pure and Simple Truth by lettered

Harry, Draco, and Hermione go to a pub. Harry, Draco, and Pansy go to a pub. Harry, Draco, Pansy, and Hermione go to a pub. Harry, Draco, Hermione and Ron go to a pub. Harry, Draco, Hermione, Ron, and Pansy―you guessed it―go to a pub. I could go on. In fact, I did. Harry, Draco, Hermione, Pansy, Ron, Blaise, Luna, Goyle, Neville, and Theodore Nott go to a pub. In various combinations. (Multi-chapter | 65k | General audience)

Renaissance by Cheryl Dyson

Harry awakens after a long sleep to find things terribly changed. He's not in an alternate universe... it just seems like it. (Multi-chapter | 34k | M)

Starts With a Spin by Maxine

It started with the spin of a bottle, and now Harry and Draco have gotten themselves so far into their own game there's almost no way out again. Except to keep playing. (Multi-chapter | 129k | X)

Sealed with a Kiss by faithwood

Harry Potter will fall in love with the first person who kisses him. Draco knows what he must do. A Christmassy Hogwarts kissy fic, this. An eight year fic. Post-DH. EWE. HPDM. SLASH. HUMOR. COMPLETE. (One-shot | 48k | M)

Second Chance by DreamingInColour

Of all the possible ways he could die Draco never would have thought a single olive would lead to his demise. But when he is offered a second chance at life he eagerly accepts. Too bad his second chance comes with an unexpected condition. (Multi-chapter | 17k | M)

Secrets by Vorabiza

Beginning with Draco's unexpected arrival at the Dursleys, Harry's summer becomes filled with activity and many secrets. He generates several unexpected allies as he finds himself actively becoming the leader of the Light side. H/D post-HBP (Multi-chapter | 411k | X)

The Slytherin Gryffindor by Cheryl Dyson

This is my response to JKR's horrific epilogue. It's a dual novel with one part Albus Scorpius and one part HarryDraco. Deathly Hallows compliant! The Slytherin Hufflepuff is the Albus Scorpius portion. This fic contains MATURE adult content. (Multi-chapter | 40k | M)

Sparkle Sparkle Princesses by Cheryl Dyson

One of Draco's random pranks gets out of hand and creates a roomful of pretty princesses. Crackfic FTW! OMG it's only PG13! *gasp* (One-shot | 2k | T)

Stigmata by InferiorBeing

Harry isn't the Dark Lord, so he cannot be with a Death Eater's son. This is the first time the BoyWhoLived ever asked for something and he cannot have it. So he takes matters into his own hands. Post HBP! Evil!Harry, Dark!Draco (Multi-chapter | 47k | T)

Storm in a Teacup by faithwood

For reasons he'd rather not think about, Draco is obsessed with Potter's hair. This cannot end well. (One-shot | 8k | M)

Synthetic Bonds by mypetelephant

Harry has always been the golden boy of Malfoy Corporation, earning the respect of Lucius and the resentment of his high school rival, Draco. But Lucius has a business proposal that involves Harry becoming a Malfoy..by marrying Draco. Non-magic AU (Multi-chapter | 125k | M)

​Tea and No Sympathy by who_la_hoop

It's Potter's fault, of course, that Draco finds himself trapped in the same twenty-four-hour period, repeating itself over and over again. It's been nearly a year since the unpleasant business at Hogwarts, and Draco's getting on with his life quite nicely, thank you, until Harry sodding Potter steps in and ruins it all, just like always. At first, though, the time loop seems liberating. For the first time in his life, he can do anything, say anything, be anything, without consequence. But the more Draco repeats the day, the more he realises the uncomfortable truth: he's falling head over heels for the speccy git. And suddenly, the time loop feels like a trap. For how can he ever get Harry to love him back when time is, quite literally, against him? (Multi-chapter | 70k | Explicit)

That Which Divides Us by oldenuf2nobetter

Three years after what would have been their seventh year at Hogwarts, the war between the forces of light and Voldemort's minions grinds on. But even within the ranks of the Order of the Phoenix there are vast disagreements over what is good for 'the Chosen One' and his volatile relationship with Draco Malfoy has many on edge. Sometimes even the best intentions can reap disaster. (Multi-chapter | 126k | Explicit)

Then Comes a Mist and a Weeping Rain by faithwood

It always rains for Draco Malfoy. Metaphorically. And literally. Ever since he had accidentally Conjured a cloud. A cloud that's ever so cross. SLASH. HPDM. Humour. Metaphorical angst. Hufflepuffs. A peacock. An eight year fic. Post-DH. EWE. (One-shot | 22k | M)

This Side of Me by cherrycola69

Saving his mortal enemy in a moment of insanity Draco is suddenly labelled a hero. Floundering in a new life and hiding from Death Eaters with Harry he finds that his allegiance isn’t the only thing that’s changed. (Multi-chapter | 56k | M)

Tick Tock by fireflavored

Draco Malfoy is in serious danger of becoming an old maid. (One-shot | 11k | NC-17)

Turn by Sara’s Girl

One good turn always deserves another. Apparently. Epilogue compliant/AU. HPDM slash but some canon het along the way. Please trust me - I promise the epilogue will not bite you. (Multi-chapter | 321k | M)

Twist of Fate by Oakstone730

Draco asks Harry to help him beat the Imperius curse during 4th year. The lessons turn into more than either expected. A story of redemption and forgiveness. Pairings: HP/DM (Slash) Timeframe: 1994-2002 Goblet to 4 yrs post-DH EWE Rating T for language, high angst, content. (Multi-chapter | 302k | Teen and up)

The Undeserved Hardships of Draco Malfoy by Bullied

It was all an accident, helping that annoying Potter! But now the wizard extraordinaire, Draco Malfoy, is in a bind. He’ll need all of his intelligence, his wits, his looks and his sneers just to make it through Hogwarts! (Multi-chapter | 88k | T)

Valentine’s Day Repeated by bananacosmicgirl

It’s not a happy Valentine’s Day for Draco. Then again, he might get a chance to do it over… (Multi-chapter | 18k | T)

Want by Cheryl Dyson

Draco seeks out Harry in order to assist his family. And then he has second thoughts. This fic contains MATURE adult content. And Harry on a motorcycle. GUH. (One-shot | 4k | M)

We Are Young (I’ll Carry You Home Tonight) by Femme (femmequixotic)

Harry and Draco have been falling into bed on and off again since the last election five years ago, much to the amusement--and financial gain--of their circle of friends. But when Harry agrees to work with Draco to put Kingsley Shacklebolt into the Minister's office, they can't work side-by-side again every day and sleep together; that would be courting disaster. Wouldn't it? (One-shot | 68k | Explicit)

The Way Down by lettered

Malfoy’s all, “Come out of there,” the way you say to a cat who is badly behaved. And Harry’s all like, “No, what, I’m a hermit! And I have a chest-monster! And I am crazy magically powerful!” and Malfoy’s all, “We all have problems, bub.” (thoughtfully) “You are crazy though. I’ll give you that.” (Multi-chapter | 70k | M?)

We, The Kings by MissPronounced

A medieval tale of ancient prophecies, chivalrous duelling and a forbidden love between a Slytherin Prince and a lowly knight. Eventual Harry/Draco. (Multi-chapter | 191k | M)

[gurguliare]

so apparently the last flareup of elwing discourse was in july, which i know because emma and i then proceeded to have a fantastically involved conversation about maglor and maedhros’s babysitter qualifications, in the six months before gil-galad came to pick the twins up

now seems as timely as ever.

Emma: i feel about maglor and the kidnap twins the way that i feel about shakespeare plays Emma: .... Emma: that’s one of those sentences you instantly regret

Emma: what i meant was Emma: there are some specific shakespeare plays i read in an abridged version when i was like ten Emma: and instantly and vividly created this FULL INTERNAL FANDOM for Emma: which are not (1) very good summaries of the plays themselves Emma: (2) based on any real production that i could ever see Gogol: wait so tell me more about your damn kidnap twins fanon though Emma: THE THING IS I DON’T KNOW. IT JUST PLAYS ON THE INSIDE OF MY EYELIDS Emma: i don’t know i feel like— i worry about it too Emma: but just, consider that caveat hovering over it, that i worry that my attitudes about this are not great, but Emma: i tend to believe the text when tolkien says that a love grew between them Emma: so i like all the ones quite a bit where elros and elrond are plotting his murder but that’s not what i imagine… i figure them as… well Emma: kids! who maybe Emma: especially elrond Emma: internalize at first that something went wrong, and maybe maglor had to do this? to take them away from their parents? so Gogol: oh my god………. baby .... Emma: i like the idea of elrond’s vast understanding or whatever and deep worrying about the future coming in part from this— unconscious need to placate and then to actually help this very troubled MOTHERFUCKER WHO KIDNAPPED HIM Emma: ok, i’ll just— figure out what’s best. because you don’t know what’s best? and your brother is a creep? so like, we’re going to… work this out? together? you made some mistakes, but wh ohasn’t made some mistakes Emma: ha ha! aren’t we all noldor here! Emma: and it taking him a while to intellectually get to “no… we were kidnapped…” Emma: like the twenty year, very serious version of the "WAIT." comic Gogol: fuck Emma: and at that point the war is happening and they have other concerns Emma: and i also like the idea that elrond never totally got out of it Emma: like, in his subconscious Emma: that if you ask him he’s like “no it’s fucked up they stole me from my home and family” etc but, well, he’s still like “but… you know… the noldor aren’t ALL bad… those greatly harmed can do great harm… :(“ Emma: and that requires a maglor who isn’t like, discussing which of them they’ll kill as the unnecessary hostage Emma: with maedhros, although i like those fics quite a lot Emma: at this point my elros characterization is just “em’s elros” so w/e assume i just said that a bunch Emma: “the most christian elros imaginable" Gogol: i feel like em's elros is my actual fingon headcanon Gogol: no that's a joke Gogol: it's not completely a joke. Gogol: also, has troubling implications Gogol: but yeah. I LIKE YOUR VERSION better than some of the maglor’s malice ones i'm Gogol: contemplating Gogol: i was thinking definitely before you'd even started in on details that like. … yeah, i mean, i prefer to take the text at face value in those instances where it DOES give rare emotional insight, and also idk if you read simaethae's elwing meta today but Emma: nooo Gogol: one sec Gogol: this paragraph: - only Elwing lives, and finds her husband, and they sail West, the first people to manage it in centuries, and they find the Valar and Earendil, the longed for that cometh beyond hope, persuades them to intervene and win the War; and this time the twins live too, and not only do the Feanorians let them live but love grew after between them, as little might be thought - Gogol: which is like, yeah, the reason i genuinely love the … texture of the voyage of earendil chapter, where the sheer barren scraped-cleanness of the landscape makes hope a sort of inevitable weed Gogol: anyway so Emma: RIGHT Emma: there’s nothing ELSE Emma: you HAVE to be with each other Emma: everyone else is DEAD Emma: of tuor and his coming to gondolin is like that too! Gogol: YEAH although tuor has much more of the actively numinous quality i associate with luthien and beren, where it's not only… hope against darkness but also like… i don't know, wonder and delight, for some fucking reason--earendil's voyage and the war of wrath by comparison are both so curiously Gogol: not "secular" but like… delimited by practical necessities Gogol: to get back to maglor and elrond i was just going to say that like, definitely that caretaker role unfortunately on elrond's part Emma: yes yes yes yes Emma: you are right abt tuor and the wonder and delight—that last unexpected stream of water is no joke! Emma: as opposed to the fens at sirion. Gogol: YEAH Gogol: i mean beleriand after gondolin is really like… right, every water source is tainted, but the sea Gogol: but fuck that was what i was going to say actually was one thing i was picturing re maglor elrond and elros was like, maglor and maedhros literally MUCH MORE OUT OF THEIR FUCKING DEPTH Gogol: than they often are in fic... Gogol: like, no joke, struggling to survive against terrible odds for absolutely no motivation Emma: y e sssss it's Emma: i don’t know i fthis makes mechanical sense but i always pictured them like Emma: ... Emma: camping on the really barren parts of, like, bodega bay Gogol: flakdgjalKJGLS:GJ Gogol: YEAH Emma: where it’s just volcanic rock and seagulls Emma: “want to go fishing” “ummm" Emma: “do the children we kidnapped know how to fish” “YOU can ask them that question" Emma: for forty YEARS Emma: in the distance the CONTINENT EXPLODES! Gogol: i'd also be really interested in seeing a… more engaged and frustrated and possessive-of-his brother maedhros honestly like a maedhros who almost wakes up with the last kinslaying Gogol: but in the worst way Emma: ohhhh my god Emma: yeah Emma: not the gentled miserable murderer Emma: but the one who’s determined to keep maglor, and only maglor, alive Gogol: like does he care about the KIDS, no, but is it a way to get at maglor or occasionally to get maglor up, OKAY Emma: and even if elrond and elros did not totally pick up on this, Emma: he wouldn’t be ashamed of just doing it directly Gogol: i can't tell if this is genuinely hotter than fanon standard or if i'm just flipping the dynamic for novelty. w/e i guess Gogol: i do think this version is easier to reconcile with endgame maglor without completely unrolling him Emma: i just still love the rules lawyering of Emma: “listen we can just… WAIT" Emma: “maybe it’ll go AWAY" Emma: “the oath says not” it does sort of fucking imply that though maglor. Emma: you big desperate baby Gogol: y es Gogol: … i don't know. the problem is i like their last convo so much AS like, the first conversation they've had in two hundred years, it's hard to game that for a substantive prior relationship, even though i know they must have done THINGS Emma: ... Emma: is it though Emma: remember that the other convo we have for them is “isn’t that a silmaril” “you know i’ve been meaning to mention to you that i think that would be a good thing" Emma: "[crushing silence]" Gogol: lkJALkjdg Gogol: I MEAN IT'S NOT hard for me to PICTURE but then it's like Gogol: kind of a conversation… ender… in terms of… "what were they talking about and doing in bodega bay" Emma: yeah. Emma: tru. Gogol: i was going to say i kinda still am picturing barely-verbal maedhros in a LOT of contexts, just like, you know, whenever maglor's not looking/conscious, suddenly Gogol: "elros take his legs" Emma: you know what i also like is Emma: maglor and maedhros— well they wouldn’t intend it anyway because like, intending things takes too much effort Gogol: WAY too much effort Emma: but not being aware of how… childlike elrond and elros are Emma: and how much they’re asking of them Emma: because, peredhil. Gogol: oh yeah absolutely lol Emma: so, elrond and elros like, Growing Up Fast in a way that they both assume is their elvish heritage Emma: when actually it is just SUPER fucking human Emma: and elrond never ever figures it out, and elros does at age like 600 Gogol: also like, maedhros and maglor grew up in a household with seven kids..... Gogol: "unnecessary compounding misconceptions" the feanorion party game Gogol: also like. being frustrated with elrond and elros's developmental slowness in some areas and reassured by their accommodating intelligent 'maturity' in others :\ Emma: y e p Emma: i was going to say something about maglor’s almost-scientific curiosity as to their human heritage Emma: shared with the kids Gogol: UH HUH. elrond like, oh good, i………. fooled him into thinking i'm competent another day…. Emma: tomorrow is another opportunity to keep doing that! Emma: joke’s on you you get 2000 more years Gogol: LMAO Gogol: GOD. ELROND. WHY DID HE NOT MAKE NARN ARWEN AH ARAGORN CANON Emma: i know poor child Emma: this is one reason i’m super enamored of celebrian who grew up with the exact opposite pressures Emma: a mother who just assumed that she would never grow out of being 30 and biddable Gogol: i overseriously don't know that i would say OPPOSITE pressures but also: yes and i love them Gogol: by which i just mean like, biddability prized in both cases but. functional vs decorative Gogol: but it's not like maedhros and maglor wanted elrond and elros to be ADULTS Gogol: just, USEFUL children Gogol: whereas galadriel probably wishes celebrian were more impressive but at the end of the day has to admit she likes celebrian's mild patience best of all. they're both being very understanding of each other she feels Emma: oh my fucking god Emma: yeah. Emma: why are there people who don’t want dirtbag galadriel Gogol: nooooo ideaaaaa

[musemash]

Images from The Fellowship Of The Ring, courtesy of New Line Cinema

THE LORD OF THE RINGS is a vast tapestry combining huge events, gripping conflict, intense emotions, and timeless themes of heroism, temptation, romance, sacrifice and redemption. Peter Jackson's epic production still stands as the greatest fantasy in film history. The final part of the trilogy was released 15 years ago today; and so in honor of this auspicious occasion, Multi Facet Fables presents David D. Fowler's extended appreciation of this fantasy masterpiece.

This piece was written in 2005, after the release of the trilogy's final Extended Edition, and then updated after the release of The Hobbit. Rather than assessing the original trilogy as three separate films, as most reviewers have done, this evaluation explores how well it succeeds in telling one continuous, self-contained story. The critique is presented in three parts; and to enhance your appreciation of the film, at the end you will also find our Appendices, featuring an archive of Rings-related videos.

ARWEN’S CHOICE, GRIMA’S TEAR  – part 1

Jackson’s Christian Vision

Yea, now that the dust of Mount Doom has long settled upon the plains of Mordor, and the Dark Lord’s dire shadow has verily been banished from the big screens of Middle-Earth lo these many years, we must needs contemplate anew the fall of the tyrant Sauron in our home palantirs.

“This tale grew in the telling,” J.R.R. Tolkien famously wrote in the foreword of The Lord Of The Rings, the centerpiece of his Middle-Earth saga. In director Peter Jackson’s hands, Tolkien’s tale has grown into a vision beyond all expectations. This becomes clearer the more one views Jackson’s marvelous extended editions of his Rings trilogy.  

Many have reviewed the individual installments of the theatrical film, of course; and there have been reviews of the extended DVDs – but nothing terribly in-depth, it would seem. Generally, the components of the trilogy have been evaluated as separate works. I have seen dozens of articles on the subject, but have never encountered any detailed evaluations of how the movie as a whole holds up, considered as a single entity. This is one attempt to answer that question. I have also chosen to emphasize the film’s spiritual qualities, which are myriad. The film is rife with Christian mythology and symbolism – which, as I will establish later, appears to be quite intentional.  

Christian Critics  

The Lord Of The Rings has rightly been extolled by Christian reviewers such as Steven D. Greydanus of Decent Films, and Sister Rose Pacatte of Sister Rose Movies. Many have showed some real appreciation of what Jackson has accomplished. However, it seems to me that most Christian critics have only scratched the surface of this film’s implicitly biblical content; they have focused on obvious elements, such as self-sacrifice and the struggle against evil.  

Several of those who have delved a little deeper have found the film spiritually wanting to some degree or other – generally concluding that, because the film’s makers are not known to be believers, therefore they had only limited understanding of the book’s Christian content. But if Jackson and co-scripters Frances Walsh and Philippa Boyens are indeed not Christians, it is verging on the miraculous that they caught so much of the book’s spiritual content – and, dare I say it, even improved upon Tolkien in some places.  

Would the Bible-thumping naysayers have preferred that only card-carrying Christians be allowed to adapt Tolkien’s sacred ‘textus receptus’? This massive production got precisely what it needed: supremely imaginative filmmakers. If it had been left to merely ‘Christian’ filmmakers, who among that exalted coterie could have pulled off this trilogy? Mel Gibson, perhaps? Too dogmatic, and way too much baggage. Wim Wenders? Promising, but his style’s a tad too introspective. Andrei Tarkovsky? Unfortunately, he’s dead – but the possibilities boggle the mind, nonetheless. The Left Behind guys? Fuggeddaboudit!  

Non-Biblical Behavior

I don’t wanna scare ya, kiddies, but imagine for a moment a Rings trilogy done as a Ted Baehr-approved production. Keep in mind that Care-Baehr’s online Movieguide very kindly alerts good little Christians about all manner of immoral, non-biblical behavior lurking at the local cineplex; and also take note that their review of Jackson’s movie warned the born-again public to watch out for such things as the film’s “implied alcohol consumption”.

If the Baehr-brains had produced a film consistent with their peculiar creed, we would’ve had hobbits bereft of pipeweed (the devil’s playground!); a moratorium on pubs (be not drunk with ale!); no silly songs (idle foolishness!); no garrulous dwarves (coarse jesting!); no prophetic intonations from Galadriel (occult divination!); no haughty elves (spiritual pride!); no talking trees (substance abuse!); and no resurrection of Gandalf (implied offscreen nudity!). Oh – and no, um, sorcery (!!!!!). But I digress.  

No-Budget  

Jackson’s earliest films give no indication of the greatness to come. The New Zealand auteur started with a no-budget, moronic alien invasion flick, Bad Taste (1987), which more than lived up to its name. He progressed (so to speak) to Meet The Feebles (1989), an over-the-top Muppet Show satire starring extremely  naughty puppets; and outdid himself with the zombie fest, Braindead (1993), aka Dead Alive – touted as the goriest film of all time. Fortunately, he developed ambitions to move beyond such limited fare.  

In 1994, by now partnered artistically (and domestically) with Fran Walsh, Jackson produced the superb Heavenly Creatures. Based on a notorious 1950s New Zealand murder case, it was an extraordinary depiction of two troubled teenage girls ­– who created a bizarre fantasy world, which spiraled out of control. This was followed by Forgotten Silver (1995), a brilliant ‘mockumentary’ about a mythical pioneer of New Zealand’s film industry; and The Frighteners (1996) a skillful horror/comedy with state-of-the-art special effects.

Jackson had proven his artistic credentials, but had never had a hit. To their everlasting credit, the New Line Cinema executives took a big chance by accepting his proposal to direct Tolkien’s classic; the result, by any standards, is an unprecedented epic, dwarfing (sorry) all previous fantasy films. While I wouldn’t go so far as to call Jackson a visionary, it is clear that he has taken Tolkien’s phenomenal vision and truly worked wonders with it. Viewing the complete extended edition, we can fully appreciate the scope of his achievement; and thanks to the various DVD documentary extras, we can also marvel at the sheer magnitude of this production.

No Sequels  

Before I proceed further, a minor point must be stressed. Some critics still insist on referring to the Rings Trilogy as a three-hour hit movie (The Fellowship Of The Ring) plus two sequels (The Two Towers and The Return Of The King). They forget that Tolkien never intended the story to be split up; that was the publisher’s idea. While some reviewers have evaluated the individual theatrical films in detail, most assessments of the extended versions have amounted to little more than laundry lists of the extra scenes; the films have generally been appreciated as separate entities, but not as parts of a whole.  

This is unfortunate, considering that The Lord Of The Rings is one of the most important films ever made; it deserves to be evaluated as the director intended it: as one single, self-contained tapestry. Jackson has emphasized that he considers it one cohesive story, in three acts. This is how I am approaching the film in this critique; I am also writing for those who are at least familiar with the theatrical version (otherwise, beware of spoilers!)  

Minor Flaws  

Jackson’s film has its flaws. There are a few redundancies, such as the several mentions of Bilbo’s book title; and some inconsistencies – as when Merry and Eowyn, who are supposed to be hiding their presence in the army from Theoden and Eomer, hang out casually with the other soldiers without making any effort to cover their faces. There are also some unnecessary scenes, such as the ‘drinking game’ between Legolas and Gimli; and speaking of well-tossed dwarves, Gimli is used too often for comic relief. The killing contests between Leggy and Gimli are played for laughs, as are a few too many other moments in battle scenes.  

In one improbable sequence, two guards fail to notice a clumsy and noisy Pippin spilling oil as he attempts to light the Minas Tirith beacon. There is also at least one glaring continuity error: the magic disappearing barrels in Faramir’s cave hideout. You see the barrels behind Frodo and Sam for several shots; but when Faramir enters to interrogate them, the barrels are nowhere to be seen. (Now, whenever I see Sam urging the Ring Bearer to “disappear” moments before Faramir’s entrance, I keep thinking all Frodo needs to do is jump into one of those barrels). There are also a few too many ‘near death experiences’ – i.e. characters thinking their loved ones have been killed, only to find they have miraculously survived.  

In addition, one could accuse Jackson of false advertising. There were several very nice scenes in various previews which never made it into the final film: two elf maidens running through the woods, laughing; Aragorn and Arwen frolicking, as she smiles radiantly; Arwen exhorting Elrond to give Aragorn “the sword of the king”; Elrond telling Arwen “You gave away your life’s grace; I can no longer protect you,” and then sadly embracing his dying daughter. Not nice to tease one’s loyal fans; more importantly, all of these scenes could have easily been added to the finished product ­– and should have been.  

Whither Bombadil?

Further, what of the scriptwriters’ myriad changes to Tolkien’s sacred, inviolable text? Well, to those dedicated keepers of the Flame of the West, who have frequently and loudly bemoaned the absence of Tom Bombadil, Glorfindel, Ghan-buri-ghan, Imrahil, Radagast the Brown, the knights of Dol Amroth, the Sceptre of Arnor and the Scouring of the Shire, one can only bow the head sympathetically and say ... (wait for it) ... Get a fricking life, fanboys!!!! Think you could’ve done a better job?  

Have these people never heard of artistic license? Jackson has always stressed that this film is merely his interpretation of Tolkien’s masterwork. Some of these grumblers evidently have little or no understanding of the structural and dramatic requirements of film, as opposed to literature; nor much grasp of the process of adaptation, and the fact that compression of material is essential in something of this magnitude. Even given the film’s 11-and-a-half hour length, omissions were unavoidable.  

There are, indeed, key differences between book and film: Frodo is rescued from the Black Riders by Arwen; Frodo rejects Sam, and orders him to go back to the Shire; the two hobbits are sidetracked to battle-torn Osgiliath; Aragorn is almost killed by wargs; the ghostly warriors from the Paths of the Dead join the battle at Minas Tirith; a spellbound Frodo offers the One Ring to one of the Nazgul; a legion of elves help defend Helm’s Deep; Shelob attacks Frodo in the third act, not the second; Faramir tries to take the Ring from Frodo; and there is a significant twist to Frodo’s final confrontation with Gollum.

And your friendly neighborhood purists could probably list many more – to the extent that some have even felt compelled to make their own bootleg versions of the films – such as the Feanor Edition of The Two Towers, and the Sharkey Purist Edition of the entire trilogy. Certainly, Jackson’s choices should be debated. But I think they generally make sufficient dramatic sense, in the context of the film adaptations.

Improving On Tolkien

Some changes, in fact, are even improvements. For example, Tolkien has Merry and Pippin surprise Frodo by insisting on accompanying him when he leaves the Shire; Jackson instead has Leggy and Gimli surprise Aragorn as he leaves to embark on the Paths of the Dead ­– thus showing Aragorn’s friends as being willing to brave supernatural terror. As for the book’s Scouring of the Shire, using that lengthy section as the concluding battle of the film would have been very anti-climactic after already showing the source of ultimate evil destroyed; instead, this event is depicted briefly in a vision, as a possible future if the Ring is not destroyed.

In act one of the book, wargs threaten the Fellowship briefly at night, as the comrades travel toward Moria; the lead beast attacks, and is quickly dispatched by Legolas; the ineffectual creatures soon back down, never to be seen again. Jackson makes much better use of the creatures, moving the wargs to the middle act, when they attack the citizens of Edoras as they journey to the refuge at Helm’s Deep; the director takes the opportunity to stage a full-blown battle. There is now much more at stake: rather than just menacing the hardy fellowship, the wargs threaten to massacre women and children.  

One can quibble about some of the film-makers’ other changes and additions to the plot. But the extensive commentaries and documentaries accompanying the DVDs clarify their reasons – which are generally good ones. For example, Tolkien’s Faramir is never tempted to take the One Ring – which is hardly the stuff of suspenseful drama. The initial motives and inner turmoil of the film’s Faramir add to the dramatic tension; and unlike his brother Boromir, this Faramir ultimately overcomes his fall from grace, decisively rejecting the Ring. Granted, that’s a serious change from the book. But the concept of the stalwart, noble knight who resists the Ring’s temptation is already in the film, in the form of Aragorn. It's not really necessary to make that point with two different characters. So why not utilize Faramir as a means of emphasizing the evil power of the ring? I don’t think this change harms the overall story in any way.

Sunrise  

Truly, all the whinging purists bogged down in the dead marshes of their dashed expectations can’t spoil my enjoyment of what Jackson and his team have done. Such critics are like Bilbo’s trolls, so busy “arguing the whithertos and whyfors” that they fail to see the sunrise coming. And what a magnificent sunrise this film is. The Lord Of The Rings is, far and away, the very finest film adaptation of an epic book that I’ve ever seen – even surpassing David Lynch’s superlative interpretation of Dune. The merits of the film virtually eclipse its flaws. That may sound like hyperbole, but I believe it’s warranted in this case.  

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