#I love reversed gender norms

[fallenwingzero]

I like that in this pic, Heero is wearing Relena's Sanc coat instead of his usual blue/purple one that he wears in Rhythm Emotion and other official art.

It's the jacket sharing trope but he's wearing her coat instead of the typical guy giving his coat 💖

[theres-whump-in-that-nebula]

Imagine doing so much hard work and persevering through law school to have your failed tests advertised on the internet news. The bar is really hard; he’s not “cringe fail.” I am jealous of his ability to even attend college without committing suicide. He did a good job. Leave my dude the fuck alone.

I don’t care if they’re elites. If they’re elites; then make fun of them solely for being rich nepotism babies. There are non-elites who have failed the bar (or any important test) once or twice as well who will see this and feel bad about themselves.

[becquerel]

i do think there is a lot to say on why homestuck’s fanbase is (to put it bluntly) so transgender in such a specific and interesting way. and i think its mostly to do with homestuck’s treatment of femininity vs masculinity in a way that is not typically done

femininity is presented as both something to save the world (space players and echidna, working with frogs, maids/sylphs presented as The Most Feminine classes and about creation/healing, despite it being said later on class gendering doesn’t matter, because it was written to matter at the beginning), while also being vicious enough to cause longtime and horrifying pain (kanaya and jade wield chainsaws and shotguns. the peixes line being as they are. its implied female trolls are culturally thought to be more cruel/violent on alternia due to condy’s influence via flarp being “for girls” as tavros is told. vriska. aranea’s help hurting everyone she tries it on.)

masculinity in homestuck is... frankly not aggrandized at all. it’s a reverse from the norm. every hypermasculine character we may have had a chance to look at has it ripped away in the end. bro strider dies to a little girl’s dog. lord english is first presented as a hypermasculine musclebound giant, then we meet caliborn and see the farce for what it is, LE is a little boy wearing an adult man’s clothes and screaming for people to take him seriously. and we do. until we notice that the clothes don’t fit quite right, and everything falls apart. grandpa harley was never alive. equius is the most masculine presented of any of the players, and... well. we’ve all seen equius. dad egbert is the only genuine show of masculinity in a truly positive light for john - and by extension the reader - to look up to, and he’s based around loving his own so much he makes cakes daily and tries to bond with him in any way he can, albeit often in ways that don’t really work. 

i don’t know. i think homestuck’s use of gendering is a fascinating aspect of the story. i think it helped me with my own personal experience of gender and the different aspects people can see gender through :] its cool to me

[nerdygaymormon]

I liked your post with all the scriptures showing that we are to love trans people. What are your thoughts about the changes made to the church handbook?

The LDS Church used to ban gay students from attending BYU. The church used to put a permanent notation on gay member's records and forbid them from having callings that work with children or youth. The church used to promote conversion therapy even when every major medical and mental health organization denounced such practices. The church forbade the children of gay couples from getting baptized.

Eventually the church reversed all these positions.

I used to speak up behind closed doors for queer youth to get to participate, it's been many years since my local leaders tried to do something like forbid a lesbian from attending girls camp or want her to be isolated at night in a cabin separated from the rest of the young women.

It is sad to me to see these same mistakes being implemented against trans/nb/genderfluid/gender nonconforming/intersex members.

Gay people were not predators, we were not the danger they imagined us to be. The same is true for those whose gender doesn't conform to the imagined binary.

How does preventing an 8-year-old child from getting baptized fit with Jesus' admonition to "suffer the little children and forbid them not to come unto me"?

How does limiting someone from gender-specific classes and callings fit with the apostle Paul's teaching that in Christ we are one, that "there is neither male nor female"?

Why is forbidding a trans youth from spending the night at FSY acceptable? It will be so stigmatizing.

We're really going to police the restrooms? Even me, an openly gay man, I am allowed to use the facilities with men even though I might be attracted to some of them.

This ban on "social transitioning" (meaning name/pronouns/grooming/clothing) continues the false notion that appearance equals worthiness and is in direct contradiction to God telling the prophet Samuel that "the Lord looketh on the heart." Social norms are not eternal norms and shouldn't determine whether an individual can receive gospel ordinances.

The top LDS leaders prefer the term "same sex attraction" instead of gay, lesbian and bisexual, and I think a similar thing is now happening as the Handbook language has shifted from "transgender individuals" to "individuals who identify as transgender" and "individuals who transition away from their biological sex."

None of these policies are required by doctrine, evidence for this is these restrictions didn't exist 5 years ago or even last week.

It's depressing the church doesn't remember the lessons from its treatment of gay people as it replicates similar policies.

It was already hard to be a gender diverse member of the LDS Church, and it just got more difficult. Everyone should have access to a spiritual home and church community if they want it.

While I can't control what the LDS Church does, I want you to know I embrace and support you. I wish I could sit on the pew with all of you and I wish I had a table large enough to break bread with all of you.

[coff-in]

Andrew Graves x Sister reader inspired by another ask:

Rather than the reader pushing and pushing Andrew mentally and then being hatefucked it’s the reverse. Andrew’s older twin sister who never saw him beyond her younger baby brother. Always treating him like a little kid and then shutting him and Ashley down as soon as she realized their true intentions. What happened with Nina completely disillusioned her + staying with them in the house 24/7 during the quarantine, their constant clinginess all those factors leading to her finally snapping and fucking Andrew while Ashley is sleeping right next to them on the couch and he can tell it’s not out of lust but pure fucking hate. He sheds a few tears even though he finally got what he wanted.

Ty for listening you’re the GOAT 🦧🦧🦧

notes from coff-in: thank you 🦧

[fem] reader-insert, older sister graves reader, nsfw, incest

i enjoy the trope/concept of "sibling who is normal or indifferent about siblings affection" x "incestuous sibling". anyway

[reader] being disillusioned by them killing nina is so neat cause it also enforces the idea that even though she knows that they are fucking awful, she still wants to be with them. she always there for them, out of love yeah, but also out of obligation? she's the oldest so she has to set the examples for them and then there's the added gender norms/expectations for her to be the emotional, sympathetic caretaker and it mixes up a beginner's recipe for attachment

andrew doesn't have the same hold on [reader] as he does with ashley mostly due to the fact that [reader] is older than him, so he can't exactly guide her into being the type of girl he wants. that doesn't mean he can't control her though. with subtle hints of her acting more like mom or dad, he can have her bending a bit more to his will. surely she wouldn't want to be like their parents would she? abusive, neglectful, hated by them both? that would be awful...

being trapped for three months with andrew and ashley has [reader] so pent up and anxious, like i can see her practically clawing her eyes out hoping to get away from them for more than five minutes. to be fair, i'm pretty sure while andrew's the most incestuously inclined sibling, he's also really flippy floppy with how obvious he shows it

i can imagine [reader] getting on his lap and whipping his cock out, riding him so aggressively, glaring down at him, "happy now? this is what you wanted, right? couldn't go long enough without getting your dick wet so you need to take care of you, huh? you better. fucking. enjoy it."

and andrew's crying a bit while gripping [reader]'s hips, face red and biting his lip to stay quiet because ashley's right there next to them. he hates that his big sis hates him but god does she feel so good right now. it's like a weird monkey's paw or a wish gone wrong, he can fuck his sister now but she fucking hates him (and hatefucks him, lol)

this is all before decay route too. suddenly jumping off of the balcony doesn't seem so bad now

----

coff-in

[xchronicles]

Okay… real talk now, just between us girlies.

Aaron, if you’re reading this, you’re one of us and you’re always welcome in.

We joke, argue, and moan a lot about the J/C stuff - especially now with Prodigy being the latest new canon story. We all know, at the end of the day, they’re not real. However, what they represent and the impact they have on the audience is very real.

I watched Voyager back in the day when I was in primary school. My emotionally undeveloped self quickly picked up on the J/C stuff, and soon I found myself watching the show more and more, hoping that today’s episode would be about them or at least feature a lot of scenes with them together. I vividly remember the heartbreak after watching "Endgame" and being so confused on what I had just witnessed. I remember expecting the next episode, which never came, and feeling so confused. I felt betrayed by the show and didn’t want anything to do with it anymore. I was just a kid - exactly the target audience that Prodigy aims to reach.

Now, as an adult, that kid in me still feels that betrayal. I’ve always leaned on imaginary characters as a coping mechanism. As a girl who never quite fit into traditional gender roles and was often criticized for not being "girly" enough or not aligning with societal expectations, I found solace in the reversed gender norms between Janeway and Chakotay. At the time, I didn’t realize that this was what appealed to me so much.

What I’m trying to say is that making Janeway and Chakotay canon, no questions hanging, healthy relationship and all, is an incredible narrative tool to show that women can be in the position of power, having a career while also being in a loving, supportive relationship. It would teach younger audiences, especially girls, that they don’t have to choose between career and relationship and, more importantly, that they don’t have to strip down parts of who they really are to fit into a gender role box to be accepted as a proper woman.

I get frustrated watching interviews with Kate because whenever she asks why fans want the J/C relationship to become romantic, she never gets a good answer. I understand her pushback to some extent because I don’t think a man could ever give her an answer that truly resonated with her. Men don’t think about the constant criticism that women face about not being "womanly" enough. Kate gets told that fans want the relationship because she deserves it and that is the problem. It’s not about what she deserves - it's about the women who have been constantly told from a young age what is “appropriate” for them and that if they don't change they'll end up alone cause no man will want them. They’re the ones who truly deserve to see that they can have both, represented in a strong character like Janeway, whom they’ve admired be it for a year or over 20 years

Men do face their own set of pressures though, like being told they aren’t “man enough,” which can contribute to toxic masculinity. However, Prodigy has addressed this issue beautifully through Chakotay. He’s a wonderful example of strong, non-toxic masculinity, embodying the true essence of what it means to be a man. Season 2 did a fantastic job showcasing this with both Dal and Chakotay. I just wish we could see that same level of depth and growth for Janeway, particularly for young girls who look up to her. Right now, the message feels as if you have to choose between pursuing a career or pursuing a relationship.

Truth be told, I think a big part of the issue is that Kate views Janeway as Prodigy’s lead character, which might make her feel that maintaining the “will they or won’t they” tension is necessary to keep the audience engaged. That perspective might be true if the show were solely focused on Janeway like Voyager was, but Prodigy is so much more than that. The core of Prodigy is really about the young crew and their journey. In fact, younger viewers are likely more interested in the relationship between Gwyn and Dal. I truly believe that making J/C canon wouldn’t hurt the show - instead, it could provide a positive example for the young crew and their audience to look up to. Find solace in them just as I have when I was their age, minus the horrible heartbreak thanks to Endgame lol

[dootznbootz]

Big oof guys Odysseus wasn't a cheater he was a victim you soggy feminist retelling enjoying fries. and I don't get them changing that so that "women who have been cheated on by their husbands can relate and know they're valid for being sad" because let's be honest if he was a women y'all would've been treating his situation appropriately. Feminism is about men and women being equal, and do you know how many women (and men) could relate to Odysseus's situation? He wasn't a good person (neither was anyone in Greek myth) but stop making him out to be the bad guy. It's not only insulting to his character, mythology fans but also victims. It can be insulting to male victims for this being erased and treated so lightly. And for female victims who know what that feels like and are (rightfully) disgusted when this sort of behavior gets excused.

And for those of you saying "But he had a choice with Circe!!" Um... not really? He slept with her to save his friends, his brothers. Let's put it this way "Let's say your best friend was being held captive, and the only way to save them would be to sleep with the guy who's holding them hostage. Cheating would imply there was a betrayal of trust between partners, this wasn't done out of maliciousness. This was done to ensure the safety of an innocent person/people who you care about deeply. Any good lover would understand there's a huge lack of choice in a situation like that. Again, if the gender roles were reversed y'all wouldn't have been saying this crap.

If men and women are so equal, a men getting sexually assaulted and used holds just as much weight as a woman. This isn't feminism, this is sexism towards men. And no, it's not justified because "that's what the Greeks did", it's not okay just because you lable it as petty payback/revenge. What happened to be better than your oppressor? As if you were the one's in ancient Greece who had to deal with these things. You are not in a friend group with every woman in history just because you had to deal with "scummy men".

And even if you are a victim, how can you be immature and gross to KNOW what that feels like yet still not care/be ignorant towards one suffering and easily erase it. And just because they were the same gender as people who were asses and creeps towards you or people who happen to be the same gender as you.

Tumblr never fails to disappoint me 😔 I have no doubt in my mind Penelope would beat up all these people victim blaming her husband

"you soggy feminist retelling enjoying fries."

Dear Anon, I love this phrase so much. Thank you for sharing it with me.

Sorry this took a while to get to. <3 I just answered quite a few heavy asks recently and I wanted to give a lil break in general :) You also wrote it all out very well already so I didn't really know how much I have to add or say without sounding like a broken record!

And yeah, like, he's not a good person. Nobody really is, especially by modern standards. But that doesn't mean what happened to him didn't happen. Or that people should diminish it.

I mean, I'm very very sure that Homer even shows Odysseus' PTSD from it all in the Odyssey. How he's so adamant about Nausica's maids NOT helping him bathe, despite that being the custom/culture of the time. Like Idk what other reason he would have to not ask for help, being "older" wasn't something that would've been too outta the norm, he was still exhausted from nearly drowning to death, etc. BUT this is RIGHT after he just escaped Calypso. Gives huge PTSD reaction to me.

ngl, I find it really disappointing in a way that this ancient text feels more respectful of victims and their trauma than more modern books lol. A lot of Modern shit feels like trauma porn ;~;

And you're absolutely right with Penelope. She loves her like-minded fool. She would not blame him. I honestly think she'd be the one to reassure him often because he'd probably feel guilt and/or just...need some comfort from everything.

I really hate the whole "He expected her to be faithful when he was not." Because guess what? He canonically was. He had no concubines officially listed ANYWHERE. People can take vague statements if they want but that's just it. Vague statements. All other "interactions" were against his will and/or it was coercion to save his friends. All under duress regardless.

Like in general, there is so much more potential in writing about about a character trying to help her incredibly traumatized lover. Seeing him as he is still and loving him. Him finally feeling safe again, LEARNING to feel safe again. After finally having clawed his way back into the arms he never wanted to leave in the first place, he can LIVE again. There's something incredibly beautiful in that.

I mean as you said, I find Odysseus very relatable in a lot of ways. His story is really beautiful in the whole "You've been through Hell, You've done some horrible things, but despite all that, you can achieve peace again. You can LIVE again." It's a really hopeful story in a way. And I really love that.

[jaskierx]

while we’re on the topic i really love the variety of gender expressions and sexualities portrayed in ofmd

barely any of the characters conform to gender norms and they’re all portrayed so differently and so positively in a way that doesn’t feel tokenistic. gender is a playground. the characters get to play with clothes and presentations and how they see themselves

djenks said ‘a lot of what we are taught about being a man is wrong’ and that really comes through - stede is allowed to spin in his frilly coat and read the crew stories, ed is allowed to wear his leathers and paint his beard onto the bride cake topper, wee john is allowed to enjoy sewing and glitter and drag, there are no punching down jokes about characters being short or fat or skinny or bald, none of these characters are ever suggested to be less of a man because of how they act - other than by characters that are clear antagonists and are condemned by the narrative as a result

and i really like that ofmd doesn't go so far out of its way to avoid stereotypes that it ends up invoking the reverse - lucius is allowed to be camp and be poly and it's so refreshing to see a gay character that is neither 1. a caricature of a promiscuous gay man nor 2. a gay man that is explicitly written to be devoutly monogamous and masc presenting to 'subvert the stereotype'

idk it's just. it's a good show brent

[dangermousie]

It is fascinating watching him navigate the crazy. It is deliberately murky how much of it is driven by concern for her (I'd say close to zero) and how much by his desire to avoid more insanity at least in the short run.

Like look at this - he's vvvv much like a powerless concubine trying to placate the powerful person in charge with concern/love/sex/whatever will get them to stop making their life hell.

I mean, what genuine feeling could there be with such a horrific power disparity especially when the powerful one is always reveling in the same/reminding him of it (and it's especially galling because it's the reverse of expected gender roles and he started out as a traditional scholar.) But also, the wound thing on her part is creepy as hell. Lady, you would have had an amazing time if you could find certain specialty clubs, and probably would have been chiller to boot.

Man looks as happy as someone about to be led to jail.

It really is the reverse of the narrative seen in harem dramas - there can be no trust or love or anything but at best a desire to use the power of the other person for your benefit or more likely, just mute endurance because what choice do you have, in a set up where the power imbalance is so huge and one partner controls the entire life of the other and sees them as a fun toy at best - it's actually pretty interesting that this is the default fate of women at the time but this time it's experienced by not just a man but a very very proper scholar who probably intrinsically believed that this state of things was right and proper until he got to see how the other half lives. (It also reminds me of Qi Heng and the Princess in Minglan in that in that society, if push comes to shove, class will always trump gender, in terms of control.)

I mean, this is such a gender norm reversal again, where she's the aggressor and he's the recipient - she's undressing him, she's the one who throws her arms around him and his just stay at his side until he does raise them because he knows what his job is supposed to be (and because let's face it, he may not want to take the first move but also knows she may take offense if he does.) It's actually an interesting commentary whether it means to or not that it's not that men are worse as a gender and that is why they are selfish, like control, driven by pleasure etc. It's that if you give someone power, boredom, control and a sense of superiority, a decent chunk of those people, regardless of gender, are going to get drunk on that and treat others as lessers.

[k4txlulzz]

yknow now that i think about it, if mystic messenger wasn't so loyal to traditional gender roles it would not have the issue of "female character does emotional labor for the male characters and puts up with their bs"

if only mc was not stuck in a traditional role of "soft nurturer girl" and able to be a lot more proactive and take on the "protector" role instead

i read an amazing honkai star rail analysis on gender identity in aventurine's story and loved that it basically reverses the roles ; which is, as the author of that analysis said, probably one of reasons why he is a popular character amongst ladies . why cant cheritz do the same ? i honestly think it could really benefit the narrative!

cheritz needs to realize that by liberating our fem mc from traditional gender roles it will give her more power and make the issue i began this post with almost nonexistent. y'all alrdy have two canonically queer characters, you might as well stop with the archaic gender norms😭its okay for her to be the knight instead of the damsel in distress

it's especially frustrating when its with characters like saeyoung, who, in my opinion, require protection more than actually being the protector lol . (hes also one of the two before mentioned queer characters so this gender norm issue is especially confusing in his route)

this is one of the reasons why i like hana from the webtoon !! shes more proactive and bold, which also leads to her basically speedrunning seven's whole "im too dangerous for you go away" shenanigans

and again we circle back to "if only mystic messenger mc was non-binary" 🥲 .... these issues would be nonexistent

[where-theres-smoak-2]

I keep seeing these posts on my for you page, I really don't know why they are on my for you page because I definitely don't agree with their views, saying that rhaenyra doesn't care about baela because she sent her to patrol and keep an eye on kings landing even though she wouldn't let jace go and that she thinks jace is more important than baela.

Here's the thing though, politically and strategically speaking, jace is more important, and before people start screaming about me being misogynistic or some such nonsense, how can I say the male is more important than the female character blah blah blah, it's got nothing to do with their gender and everything to do with the fact that jace is the heir. Losing him would be a more politically damaging blow. I'd say the same if the roles were reversed and baela was the heir, in which case it should be jace that is sent in that scenario.

When you put yourself in rhaenyra's pov for making this decision, she needs to send someone to do that patrol, not to would be incredibly foolish. She can't go herself because as queen, she needs to be present in dragonstone, making decisions as events unfold, she can't be absent flying patrols. Rhaenys is already patrolling the gullet and helping enforce the blockade, an important task. Daemon is at harrenhall gaining support for rhaenyra and raising an army for her, also an important task. So the only two dragon riders she's got left are jace and baela. Sending jace, her heir, would again be really foolish, you don't unnecessarily risk your heir, so strategically, baela is just the more logical choice.

However, that doesn't mean that rhaenyra doesn't care about baela. There is a reason why she told baela to stay high and to not engage if she did see something, because she was concerned for baela's safety and obviously doesn't want anything bad to happen to her. It's also why rhaenyra looked upset when baela admitted that she wasn't all that high when she saw and chased down Cole, because she was worried for baela and honestly if that maester hadn't have interrupted I suspect baela might have gotten a bit of a telling off.

I think sometimes people forget that these characters are living in a medieval setting during a time of war. In our modern society it's easy to say I treat all my children equally, and good I would hope so, but these characters don't live in modern society, their societal norms and rules are different and when at war rhaenyra doesn't have the luxury of making decisions based on emotions. She has to think strategically and strategically you always protect your heir first. I'm sure rhaenyra would love to take all her remaining children, blood and stepdaughters alike, and wrap them up somewhere safe and far from the war effort. But she is queen and has to make decisions that give her and their side the best political advantage, sometimes that includes the difficult choice of which of her children to send on a potentially dangerous patrol. But that doesn't equate to rhaenyra doesn't care about baela.

[melrosing]

people get angry when a POV woman or gorl doesn’t have agency stating she is a bad pov because she isn’t driving the plot like {insert male non pov} but she gives us a window to the silenced she gives us the hugely enriched internal life that we never get in books!

ya. what really frustrates me is the unfavourable comparison between passive female characters and active female characters - to me it just seems like yet another prism through which to enjoy the eternal asoiaf fandom Girl Fights, where they constantly have to argue that X represents a weak female character whilst Y is a strong and inspiring role model, and that fans who enjoy X over Y are leaning into their own internal misogyny by refusing to favour 'active' female characters. I'm not gonna name the characters I mean bc we are not doing THAT again but you can probably guess. and honestly there are a number of pairs that fit here lmao

ofc I'm not saying that there isn't obviously a misogynistic reverse of this scenario where X enjoyers claim that Y represents discord/tyranny/[insert bad trait] because Y is an active character who defies gender norms. I've seen that argument plenty as well. but can we just acknowledge that BOTH are misogynistic angles..... like I genuinely don't know why so many fans who love to call 'opposing' fans misogynists are so fucking ready to sling misogyny around in favour of their own arguments. like??? do u think the rest of us are stupid do u think we can't see u doing that

[hchollym]

Percy Weasley & the Weasley's Homophobia/Transphobia

I wrote about Percy having Oldest Daughter Syndrome in this post, but that got me thinking, and I realized something - out of all the Weasley siblings, Percy is the only one that doesn't fit into gender norms.

So I started going back and rereading to double check, and I was blown away by just how many traditionally feminine traits Percy has in the books that I didn't notice the first time I read them! 😱

It has me wondering if that was subconsciously - or purposely - a major contributor of why the Weasley children disliked Percy so much (given how homophobic/transphobic the Wizarding World is in general).

The Basics/Personality Traits

Percy doesn't play Quidditch (i.e. sports).

He enjoys Divination - a subject that is seen as silly by the popular characters & only people like Lavender and Parvati (i.e. "dumb" girls) enjoy it.

He's not great at chess: "He [Harry] suspected he wouldn’t have lost so badly if Percy hadn’t tried to help him so much." According to many studies, there is a stereotype that boys are better at playing chess than girls.

Percy is more organized and clean: ""Ron hasn't put all his new things in his trunk yet," said Percy, in a long-suffering voice. "He's dumped them on my bed."" This is a common stereotype for women, while men tend to be thought of as messier.

Descriptions/Word Choice

Percy is said to be, "fussy about rule-breaking and fond of bossing everyone around." Fussy and bossy are both sexist phrases that are commonly used to describe women who aren't accommodating enough.

Book 2 said, "Percy swelled in a manner that reminded Harry forcefully of Mrs. Weasley. “Get — away — from — there —” Percy said, striding toward them and starting to bustle them along, flapping his arms." It's not a coincidence that the other Weasley brothers are never compared to their mother.

In Book 4, it stated, "“Mr. Crouch!” said Percy breathlessly, sunk into a kind of halfbow that made him look like a hunchback. “Would you like a cup of tea?”" He is portrayed as being quite submissive and eager to please in his job (traits traditionally used to describe the ideal woman, particularly in the religious sectors).

Later in Book 4, there's this conversation: "“Maybe Percy’s poisoning him,” said Ron. “Probably thinks if Crouch snuffs it he’ll be made head of the Department of International Magical Cooperation.”" Poisoning is most often done by women, whereas men tend to kill someone in more aggressive ways.

His Job

Percy worked as an assistant/secretary to Mr. Crouch and then for the Minister of Magic - both of which are considered "women's jobs." This dates back to the Industrial Revolution, when more than 1.7 million women began working in this career, and it is still predominantly held by women (who make up almost 90% of secretaries and assistants).

Even his research was feminine:

“What are you working on?” said Harry. “A report for the Department of International Magical Cooperation,” said Percy smugly. “We’re trying to standardize cauldron thickness.

Cauldrons are generally associated with women because they were also used for cooking, and in paintings, it is almost always witches (women) depicted with cauldrons.

Then, there's this:

“I don’t reckon he’d come home if Dad didn’t make him. He’s obsessed. Just don’t get him onto the subject of his boss. According to Mr. Crouch . . . as I was saying to Mr. Crouch . . . Mr. Crouch is of the opinion . . . Mr. Crouch was telling me . . . They’ll be announcing their engagement any day now.”

A secretary falling in love with their boss and becoming obsessed... hmm, where have I heard this stereotype before? 🙄

Discipline

A research study on parental discipline found that, "“When it comes to disciplining the kids, there’s been a role reversal in the modern home,” the study concluded, with moms being more consistent in discipline than dads. The researchers found that dads are no longer the strict disciplinarians that they were in the ’50s and ’60s, and are more likely to let children get away with wrong behavior and less likely to talk through discipline issues with the kids.""

We certainly see that dynamic in the Weasley household with Molly & Arthur, and we continue that trend with most of the Weasley sons - Bill & Charlie definitely aren't disciplining anyone; they're the cool, "chill" brothers who contribute to the problem by smashing tables around in the air for fun.

Percy is the only one who disciplines the younger kids - especially at school and in the role of a prefect:

“Five points from Gryffindor!” Percy said tersely, fingering his prefect badge. “And I hope it teaches you a lesson! No more detective work, or I’ll write to Mum!”

&

Fred and George were going the wrong way about cheering her up. They were taking turns covering themselves with fur or boils and jumping out at her from behind statues. They only stopped when Percy, apoplectic with rage, told them he was going to write to Mrs. Weasley and tell her Ginny was having nightmares.

Lack of Humor

“Yeah, well, Percy wouldn’t want to work for anyone with a sense of humor, would he?” said Ron, now starting on a chocolate eclair. “Percy wouldn’t recognize a joke if it danced naked in front of him wearing Dobby’s tea cozy.”

It is repeated regularly throughout the books that Percy isn't funny and can't take a joke, which correlates to the sexist idea that women aren't funny (or that men are much funnier).

Mother-Hen Tendencies

Percy has so many instances of looking out for his siblings (or noticing when something is wrong) and worrying about them (i.e. fussing over them):

Her Pepperup potion worked instantly, though it left the drinker smoking at the ears for several hours afterward. Ginny Weasley, who had been looking pale, was bullied into taking some by Percy.

&

Dear Tom, Percy keeps telling me I’m pale and I’m not myself. I think he suspects me…

& After the Second Task in Book 4:

Percy seized Ron and was dragging him back to the bank (“Gerroff, Percy, I’m all right!”)

Compare this to Fleur's reaction only a few sentences later:

Fleur had broken free of Madame Maxime and was hugging her sister.

(In fact, Percy & Fleur share a lot of characteristics, but that's a topic for a different time.)

Relationships

Percy had a girlfriend, but he still broke the gender norms by writing love letters to her all summer and keeping a photograph of her. This type of romantic personality isn't stereotypically common of most teenage boys (especially in these books), but it is common of characters like Lavender, who bought Ron a gold necklace (and Ron was appalled at the idea of wearing it).

His Brothers

To compare, the only other Weasley brother who shows any traditionally feminine traits is Bill with his long hair (and I guess his one earring, but that became very popular among guys during the 80's/90's). This is a physical characteristic as opposed to an emotional/behavioral one, and Bill doesn't get any negative reaction, because he is masculine in every other way - He had a dangerous, exciting job for many years; he has a career working with money (74% of people working in finance are men); he married a much younger, attractive woman (think about Leonardo DiCaprio not dating women over the age of 25); and he had a completely heteronormative marriage.

To Summarize

Percy has an abundance of traditionally feminine characteristics in the books, as opposed to his brothers, who definitely do not. Given how society is in the Wizarding World, it is very likely that this contributed to his strained relationship with his family. 😥

[milevenstancyendgame]

Mileven Star Wars Parallels

So I started this back in August, but for some reason I decided Halloween would be the perfect day to post this, lol. Others have pointed out the gender roles reversal for Mileven before, and here's my contribution.❤️

ST has lots of references to other fiction obviously, and lots of general Star Wars references. But since I'm a big fan of how Mike and Eleven break gender norms as a couple, I'd like to look at the SW references to Anakin and Padme in this post.

(And to get that out of the way - Anakin/Padme ended up being in a toxic relationship, but Mileven is not toxic.)

Of course Eleven's stretched out hand when she uses her powers is a general reference to Force wielders in Star Wars - the boys didn't compare her to Yoda for nothing! But her dark, menacing look resembles Anakin most.

S2 had a theme of Eleven using her anger to enhance her powers, as advised by Kali. All of that is a direct parallel to Anakin being advised by Palpatine/Darth Sidious to do the same.

In general, Kali's life devoted to revenge is reminiscent of the Sith (and being named after a Hindu goddess of destruction/war), who use pain and anger as a base for their Force wielding, and seek to take revenge on the Jedi (an institution that takes children with powers and raises them to be soldiers/weapons...hmm).

El listens to Kali's advice and remembers her words during the season's finale in which she closes the gate to stop the mindflayer, once again drawing on her hurt and anger. This scene brings us to the most overtly thematic and visual Anakin reference:

Both El and Anakin are dressed in black, got some rad eyeliner, and do the intense stare. Their surroundings express the theme of anger and pain, being all about red, black, and fire. Their faces are illuminated by red light.

Both are sweating; El has blood streaming down her face, Anakin tears. Both are shouting, being in extreme emotional states.

I was super excited about this when I first watched s2, because the theme of anger is so rarely explored for female characters - plus she looks fucking badass.🤬🌋😎

Of course there's also the more universal theme of "the chosen one/saviour" that the two characters have in common (gender non-conventional for El), as well as childhood abuse and being trained to be a weapon, leading to both having complex trauma, and others frequently trying to manipulate and exploit them.

Btw, ST makes the point that love makes El strongest, which breaks the SW dualism of Sith and Jedi (the Jedi's base for Force wielding is lack of emotion).

Now seeing that El has so many Anakin parallels going on, we can naturally wonder whether Mike has some parallels to Padme.

While I haven't noticed a direct reference (please let me know if I missed one!), both characters are defined by their strength in empathy and sense for justice (Mike takes El in and champions her throughout s1, for example, while Padme refuses to let her people suffer throughout ep. I, and she speaks for the voiceless in the senate).

Also, here's a cute little "You're cold (a symbol for being alone and unloved), let me give you a blanket (love)." parallel:

They are also both strong leaders, who hate to sit around and do nothing, while others are in danger (or to be told what to do by others).

Again, s2 gives us a good example:

Mike is told by Steve that they have to stay put, but he insists to go out and help Eleven. Likewise, in ep. II, Padme doesn't give a shit that Mace Windu just told Anakin and her to stay put, she insists to go out and help Obi-Wan.

Both have much more of these moments, of course. All of ep. I shows us Padme throwing herself into danger to help her people on Naboo, ep. II is just her being pissed, because she needs to go undercover due to assassination attempts (don't get me started on The Clone Wars), and Mike is always the first (and sometimes the only one) to rush to El's aid, or that of a friend.

They are both passionate, emotional, and compassionate; they constantly drive others to act for others, and inspire them.

Padme means "lotus", which is a Buddhist symbol for compassion; while Mike is termed "the heart".🪷🩷

Both are also the no-supernatural-power partner in their romantic relationship, often putting them into the role of the one who gets left behind/has to wait, and the supporter role.

Again, this is a very non-conventional role gender-wise for Mike, which I love (but just like Padme and other female love interests, he gets a lot of hate for it).

[mermaidsirennikita]

why is it uncommon to find a more assertive/dominant FMC in FANTASY romance that isn’t bdsm or complete kink role reversal? Fantasy romance seems gender conforming than contemporary. I thought this was fantasy so why are the roles so rigid and a FMC who sometimes holds the power is somehow kink/fetish

I went to Reddit for recs and honestly found nothing to my taste

also i dont think ppl realize that a not submissive FMC does mean the mmc is weak, feminine, etc? everything is so binary ahhhh

i’m not even someone who wants to deviate from the norm that much

Hmm, I don't know that I experience the same issue with fantasy romances? Maybe it's a Reddit problem; I find that on Reddit (compared to, say, Instagram) I see a lot more people requesting books featuring actively submissive heroines. That's where Alice Coldbreath gets recommended to me every time I ask for anything though, lol, so I feel like I could be a little skewed in that direction.

And it's fine for people to want that, I just struggle with books in which the heroine is SUPER submissive in her everyday life (her sex life is another thing entirely).

That said, I also don't think I've read a lot of fantasy romances I would categorize as truly kinky or BDSM-related. But my standards may be high, I think of a lot of books as "kink positive" but not About That Life, if you get what I'm saying.

I'll also say—in my experience, Reddit skews very indie, and while there are a billion indie books I love (including books recommended below) I personally find that a lot of Reddit-popular books are kind of like... one-handed reads. Which is fine, totally valid, they just don't have a lot of thought in terms of plot. Or, tbh, sometimes in terms of sex (I don't find their portrayal of kink to be great all the time).

That being said, if you do want to read fantasy romances with assertive, strong heroines that also feature strong heroes, I'd recommend:

The Witch Walker series by Charissa Weaks. A recent favorite of mine, has several couples (I'd say three prominent ones as of now, two m/f and one m/m) but the core couple is m/f. The heroine is strong and stays strong. The hero is also, though I'm rather delighted by how often he hurtles himself into trouble and is like "WHOOPS" until she shows up. Their sex life is really like... mutual. I'd say he's a bit more dominant in bed, but they both show the fuck up.

The Hurricane Wars series by Thea Guanzon. Both the hero and heroine are virgins, they have a very mutually giving sex life (though that doesn't really fully kick into gear until book 2, which is out in December), and she's definitely a very strong character, I'd say.

The Winter King by C.L. Wilson. The hero is definitely more immediately strong and sexually experienced in this book (it's definitely more historical romance-aligned worldwise, and she's a virgin) but the heroine is very powerful and their relationship becomes an equal one. And in bed, once she's on the up and up of it all, there's a lot of mutual give and take.

The Princes of Hell series by Kerri Maniscalco. I love the heroines of this series (there's a trilogy to begin, then a spinoff book). They're both quite different, incredibly strong, and more than a match for their heroes. Plus, I appreciated that you really don't have the same characters or relationships repeated between the two couples. They're super distinct.

[eddie-spielman]

alice’s voice isn’t ‘distinctively male’. voices aren’t inherently gendered and how someone sounds doesn’t determine their identity. also, you said you’re not a terf because you don’t exclude trans men? and you said you don’t understand how transfem representation is good? that’s really not convincing me. sounds like you see trans men as misguided women and want an excuse to be bigoted towards trans women without fully committing to terf ideology because you know people would call you out for your bullshit.

alright, here we go.

first, voices are based on biology, vocal chords, the structure of the larynx, all that shebang. men have a generally lower pitch, and women have a generally higher pitch; despite that, there can be the reverse, but you can perfectly distinguish a male from a female based on the timber, the inflection, etc. there are, of course, androgynous voices where you can't quite place the speaker's sex; however, this is not the case. so, yes, voices are a way to tell the person's biological sex, which, through socialisation, ends up weaving into their social identity.

i believe that the notion of gender instead of plain biological sex is harmful and perpetuates stereotypes that affect not only, but mostly women, negatively. therefore, when a woman doesn't fit the social role that she is constantly being forced into by her environment, she may be led to believe (esp. if she has issues with self-esteem, insecurity, and body dysmorphia, which isn't a rare case) that she isn't a woman after all, since a woman should "feel" and "behave" a certain way to be real, as per the societal norm; which is overall a patriarchal notion of what a "woman" is. there comes the transgender ideology that happily supports it: a "woman" is whatever you want it to be. even if you're a biological male. so, yes, transgender men are in reality misguided women who, facing societal pressure, mistakenly believed that womanhood is something that should be felt and performed, and that the only escape was to deny their biology (which has absolutely nothing wrong in it, intrinsically) and more often than not undergo damaging operations and hormone treatment. and even then, often the issue doesn't go away, because, after all, it is rooted in the system that created this unattainable image of what a woman is. a woman is a biological female, and that's all there is to it. and i include those women in my radical feminist area of concern.

i myself went through a similar struggle. when the pandemic hit, i was fifteen years old. now, when you're isolated and enclosed from the world, you turn to social media and dive deeper into what you are on the inside. i discovered i was bisexual. i also thought that, since i didn't like to wear dresses and shave (my mother's image of femininity that she constantly perpetuated on me), liked sports, pirates and hiking, and preferred short hair, there must be something wrong with me. i thought a girl shouldn't behave like this. i dove deeper into the issue, and i stumbled upon transgenderism. i used to be very easy to impress and believed everything i saw online if it was presented as "safe" and "okay to do" in a happy, welcoming tone. i ended up convinced that i needed top and bottom surgery to feel "right" and "free". i hated the way i looked and thought i wasn't a woman if i didn't align with what a woman was defined as: caring, compassionate, fragile, with long, flowy hair, a love for dresses, high heels, shopping, and the colour pink, a soft voice and a curvy body; a woman loved the fact that she had periods and breasts and the ability to produce life. i had none of that. and that was exactly what biological males that thought of themselves as women use as an argument to justify their womanhood. i thought to myself, i must not be a woman, then, if i don't feel like one, which i should, because that's what "transwomen", who i believed wholeheartedly, said womanhood felt like.

then i found out about radical feminism, and it hit me like a truck. i saw what the transgender ideology was really about: abiding to societal roles and images created by the oppressive, patriarchal system that still sees women as an inferior species, as something to "become", as something to be performed and that can be worn like a costume. i realised i didn't need to feel like a woman because i already was one. and that's all there is to it.

the rest is society's expectations that if a woman likes sports, hiking and pirates, there must be something wrong with her. but there isn't. if we didn't have a systemic oppression towards women, we wouldn't even have created the notion of being transgender.

in short, call me out, please! i'd love to see where my bullshit is, because so far all i've said seems pretty logical to me. thanks!