#I love him sm i just need him to be happy and successful

[sparklejumpropekitty]

Credit to: xxjdesu on X

(Eng Trans) JAMESSU AT PONDONAIR EP4

#PondonairXJamesSu

- James: Facing the Storm and Finding Strength -

MC: Have you ever encountered a very serious drama? Can you tell me about it?

James: Which one should I tell you about?

MC: The one that you feel was the most difficult, the most overwhelming, the most extreme.

James: The one about my decision to become a solo artist, that was a very difficult matter, so difficult that I was completely lost.

James: Because everything was discussed beforehand, but because I am a public figure, I cannot say everything. I cannot sit here and talk about all the inside stories, all the behind-the-scenes. I have to save the feelings of the people who work with me, my feelings, and the feelings of my team.

James: So it resulted in that conclusion. Which I want to say that there were both people who understood me and people who didn't understand me, people who were disappointed in me, and people who were ready to give me encouragement. There were both.

James: At that time, it could be said that I was attacked until I almost lost my mind.

MC: You mean you were criticized?

James: Criticized, cursed, things like that. Everywhere I opened [social media], I would find [those comments]. The feeling was like, "Why did you choose this? Why did you leave from there? Why did you abandon the other person?" or whatever.

James: Which I want to say that there were discussions beforehand, a very long time ago. There were many things that many people could not know, and I could not tell, because it was related to the company. It's not just what everyone sees.

James: What I encountered made me feel that I didn't want to see anything anymore. Looking at the balcony of the room and thinking, "Will it end? Will everything end? Are my parents' debts all cleared? My sister is almost finished studying. Should I leave this lump sum of money for them?" Things like this. I was thinking like this, what should I leave behind so that it wouldn't be difficult for them.

James: I was thinking like that when I woke up. It was the incident on the day that it was announced and the next day I thought about it.

James: My name was trending. The news was on every channel, on X, on TikTok, which I tried to avoid it, but could not avoid it. I saw everything and I thought, how will I continue living?

James: And there were many impacts that I encountered, whether it was about work, whether it was about my own blemishes that I had. It was very uncomfortable and I could not say it. There were only people in [the know] who knew. Outsiders didn't know because I chose to explain it like that. But after the matter passed, everything got better.

James: To be honest, I almost don't believe how I got through that. When it was the most difficult, I didn't call anyone at all. There were only Yok and Boat that I called. (His sister and sister's bf)

James: And during that time, it was also the time that my leg was injured. I fell on the stairs and had to get 16 stitches. Everything happened at the age of 25, in February. On my birthday, after that, I fell on the stairs. And there was already a plan that [the news] had to be announced on which day.

James: As soon as I fell down the stairs for two days, I had to announce the news and then encountered the drama. My phone's notifications didn't stop at all until I had to turn it off. I supported myself with a cane, stood on the balcony, looked at the sky and thought about things. At that time, I was completely lost.

James: I felt that at that time I was very lucky to have Yok and Boat who were near me, have my mom and dad come to see me, stay with me almost every day during that time, buy food for me, play games in the room together, take me to get my wound dressed.

MC: How long did it take to get through it?

James: I don't know how long it took, but during the first period, it was extremely torturous to get through each day. I wanted to sleep and warp through this period. There were people who gave me encouragement, but what I saw was much more with people who criticized me, plus the discomfort that I could not say some things. It made me suppress myself.

James: But now I feel that everything is good. The fact that we separated our paths, it's not that we are separated from each other. We can still be good friends to each other. Everyone can be friends with each other, including until today, we are still friends.

[girlboypersonthingy]

Hey! I saw you were starting to write for Blitzø so I’d love to request something! Could you do Blitzø x fem or gn reader in which reader comforts him after he has a very bad day and reassures him about his insecurities? That man needs to let himself cry in front of someone and also needs a hug! I love him sm I need more works where we can comfort him!! 🫶🏻

SORRY NOT SORRY I SKIPPED OVER LIKE 6 OTHER REQUESTS BC I NEED TO WRITE THIS ANGSTY BLITZ REQUEST IMMEDIATELY ITS TOO GOOD IM SO- 😳🥺 I just wanna hold him…enjoy, anon~

Notes: imp!reader, gn!reader, not an established relationship but mutual crushing and pining, reader works at IMP, angst to fluffy comfort

Blitzø x reader- Bad Day 💔

Blitz had the shittiest shit day ever and was ready to fall asleep and stay asleep forever. Between feeling excluded and lonely after seeing Millie and Moxxie’s displays of affection during dinner at Ozzie’s, then Fizz and Verosika giving him shit in front of the entire restaurant and Stolas being disgustingly clingy as always, Blitz felt himself breaking down, deteriorating from the inside out. It really stuck with him when he heard a restaurant patron shout, “YOU’RE SLEEPIN’ WITH AN IMP?” when referring to him and Stolas. What an embarrassment for both of them. He already has a very low self-esteem and that comment just solidified all his intrusive thoughts- no matter who he’s with, how successful he becomes, how much money he has, he’ll always be just an imp.

Blitzø stumbled through the front door of his apartment, rapidly proceeding to Loona’s room with a small smile. His precious girl always cheers him up, even when she’s in a bad mood…which is always. At the exact moment he sees the note on her door saying that she is out at a party, his smile drops to a disappointed frown. With the upper half of his body hunched over, his arms dangling limply by his sides, he trudges over to the couch and collapses on it with a huff.

This feeling was way too overwhelming- he felt suffocated by his clothes, pushed around and beaten by his own mind. He felt defeated and had no idea how to get himself out of this state of mind. He pulls out his phone to scroll through some pictures, maintaining his lonely frown the whole time. Blitz rolls his eyes at an old pic of him and Verosika. Then, he finds himself looking at a photo of his mom, sister and him, so happy, so close. After only seconds of looking into the picture, all his feelings unexpectedly erupt from him. The tears forced their way to the surface, gushing down his red and white cheeks. His chest felt like it was gonna cave in any second now, his lungs forgetting how to breath calmly.

“Fuck…” He chokes out while tossing his phone aside and sprawling out over the couch. He couldn’t hold it in anymore. He couldn’t stop the tears from welling up and overflowing, he couldn’t slow his breaths, he couldn’t even open his eyes they felt so swollen already. He had never felt so alone before. Laying on his stomach with his wet, snotty face in the pillows, he completely lets loose. A guttural, miserable, shaky moan leaves him as he weeps, his fists clenching around nothing in particular.

Just as he sucks in a quivering gasp of air, the sound of the front door opening caused him to hold his breath and stay completely still. “Blitz?” Fuck…of all people to walk in on him during his pathetic mental breakdown, why you? He’s literally praying that you’ll just go away but he knows you won’t, you’ll keep looking until you find him. He knows this, but he stays hidden and silent on the couch until you finally walk around and see him.

“Blitz? Whats wrong? What happened?” Stepping over to him quickly then kneeling on your knees beside him, he seems to retreat even further away. Blitz scoots into the couch more, turning his head away from you as he exhales then inhales and then holds it again. “Are you okay?” Obviously, he’s not okay but he nods his head anyways. “You can talk to me, Blitz.” Finally, he lets out all the air he was holding in. “I don’t wanna fucking talk right now.” He manages to mutter out between hiccups and sniffles. “Oh���okay.” Your voice a soft whisper now, Blitz again finds his hands balled up into tight fists, his fingers digging deeply into his palms. Dammit…he did mean to snap at you.

But instead of abandoning him, you shimmy your way onto the couch next to him, one arm coming to wrap around his torso as you lay your head against his back. You can hear everything with your ear to his back- his shaky breathing, his soft whimpers he’s trying so hard to hold back. “We don’t have to talk. We can just…lay here. I’m with you, okay?” You pull him closer, his back up against your stomach as you give him a gentle squeeze.

He tried so fucking hard to conceal it, to play it off in front of you, he really did but he lost it again, crumbling apart right in your arms. After hearing the sweet words of reassurance you offered him and the way your hand was now rubbing slowly across his heaving chest and the way you didn’t leave him…he can’t help but let it all out. Blitz softly shakes against you, making your heart ache for him. You’ve seen him in so many different moods and different situations, in so many silly costumes and you’ve heard some pretty vile things leave his mouth but you’ve never seen him like this. He was an absolute mess.

Slowly and carefully, you scoot closer, fitting your knees perfectly in the back of his. With a slight hum and one hand still rubbing his chest, you close your eyes as you rest against his back still. “Is there anything I can do for you?” Softly, you speak as Blitz exhales deeply once again. “Anything you need, just say the word.” Your hand stops the rubbing of his chest as you take a moment to squeeze him again.

“Don’t leave me…” With a crack in his voice, Blitz finally responds before curling in on himself even more. “I’m not going anywhere, promise.” As you nuzzle your cheek against his back. Your reply calms him, allowing his body to finally soften into your embrace. Together, you lay like this for a while, finding comfort in the sound of each other’s breathing.

Eventually, Blitz weakly turns himself around to reveal his somewhat improved mood. His eyes are puffy and glossy but the tears had stopped. His frown is a nasty one, one of the worst you’ve ever seen him wear but his eyes show a hint of something more positive as well- a look of hope? admiration? appreciation? Now facing you and looking at your face right there in front of him, hope, admiration and appreciation all swelled within him. He felt so lucky to have you, as an employee, as a friend… and maybe you two would be more one day. Maybe more…today? Right now?

“Do you think I’m… just a stupid imp? That I’ll always be seen as just an imp?” He can’t bring himself to look at you now, eyes scanning the ceiling instead. “Do you think I’m just a stupid imp? Is that all you see me as?” You immediately reply, watching as he starts to over analyze the situation. “No, no, of course not. You’re…fucking awesome.” His eyes land on your face for a second before they shift back to the ceiling. “So are you, boss.” Blitz scoffs lightly at your words, giving you a disapproving glare. “No! Really! I mean it, Blitz.” A soft sigh comes from him and he’s having a hard time believing your words.

“It’s gonna be okay.” You say with a light hearted tone and a small smile. Gently, teasingly you reach up to his face and use your thumbs to pull the corners of his mouth up into a smile. “Awww! There he is, there’s my guy!” As you pull your hands away, a smile finds your face as you notice his smile doesn’t fall, he’s smiling for real now. It’s not a big smile, honestly it’s barely a smile at all but it’s something. It’s better than the horrible frown he had on earlier.

“You sure you don’t wanna talk about it?” You ask cautiously, not wanting to upset him anymore. “I’m sure.” His reply is immediate and short, making you stay quiet after. Instead of using your voice, you go back to comforting him physically. With one hand on his cheek again, cupping his face this time, Blitz leans forward to rest his forehead against yours. Simultaneously, you both close your eyes and let out a deep breath.

As you let your thumb trace back and forth over the skin of his cheek, Blitz opens his eyes again and takes this chance to just stare down at you, at your eyelashes, at your skin and any little scars or blemishes that decorate it, at your lips as they part momentarily to suck in a breath. Without thinking it over, he kisses you. It’s quick, not necessarily soft because he came in kind of fast but it wasn’t hard or sloppy or anything like that. It was sort of a test of the waters for Blitz. He wanted much more than a measly peck from you but he didn’t want go all in on you and scare you off or weird you out.

To his surprise, before he can get a good look at your reaction, you’re chasing his face as he pulls away. As you lean forward, a shocked ‘mmm’ rumbles from Blitzø’s throat when your lips meet his again. This time, the kiss lasts longer. It remains sweet and simple, there’s no tongue, no spit or even much movement from your mouths at all. After locking lips for a few seconds, you part to finally look at each other. Your smiles mock each other’s, both growing bigger and bigger.

This isn’t at all how either of you imagined your first kiss together. Blitz had something more rough and dirty in mind but he’s beyond grateful that you still respect him after seeing him in such a lowly position. You’re not sure what comes over him as he stares at your lips but he confidently yanks you back into him, kissing you again.

With his mouth still covering most of your own, he mumbles, “Earlier, you said anything I need and now I need you.” The kiss is deepened by Blitz carefully moving his lips against yours, both your heads tilting to find the perfect position. His hands roam up and down your back at an extremely slow pace as his mouth follows along, moving in tandem with yours.

“Yes, sir.”

And the rest of the evening is spent gently coddling and lovingly appreciating each other at such a close range. The kissing lasts so long, that eventually you’re both just lazily pecking each other on the lips over and over and over again with closed eyes and relaxed limbs. It’s nice, it’s simple yet romantic and Blitz has never felt more safe or comfortable in his entire existence.

“And if you tell anyone about this, I’ll kill you.”

“No, you won’t.”

“You’re right, I won’t. But please don’t tell anyone.”

“I won’t. I promise.”

[lyxthen]

I want to write an essay on how the Book of Bill expertly subverts the "villain with a tragic backstory/antisocial protagonist" narrative by portraying its main character as evil, trying really hard to look cool, and failing pathetically. The book is making fun of him, and that is actually kind of revolutionary, because most stories with evil, pathetic main characters tend to take themselves, and by extension, their protagonist, way too seriously, with way too much dignity, which leads to people misinterpreting them as heroes or idealize them in some way, and then replicating these harmful attitudes. They follow life coaches that will teach them how to be "alpha males."

Bill presents himself as one of these "life coaches," he will teach you the secrets of the universe, he will help you to game the system in your favor, to manipulate people to get what you want, he will free you from the shackles of society and reality itself-- but he is lying. The success rate of Bill's evil schemes is laughably small. He's a manipulator, to be sure, an incompetent one. His dimension rejected him, his friends don't actually like him, throughout the ages humans have found him insufferable, and to top it all off he ruins the relationship with the only being in the history of the universe he has ever truly felt understood by.

And instead of going "gee, maybe there *is* something wrong with me, after all" he doubles down on his harmful ideas. He doesn't have a problem, everyone else is the problem. Nobody gets his vision. They are all small-minded creatures of no value. His failures are always somebody else's fault. He didn't want to hurt anyone, he was forced to. It's not that bad, he's just being silly, he's having a laugh.

And we, as readers, we are horrified at all the bad things he does, but we also laugh. Not with him, but *at him.* He is being constantly ridiculed by himself, and the funniest part is that he doesn't even realize. He thinks he is absolutely acing this.

He isn't.

Eventually, it is revealed that Bill has no idea what he is talking about. That he has been defeated, rendered powerless, stuck forever in interdimensional therapy. The book tells us, "This is what happens to people like Bill if they don't change. They end up with nothing. No riches, no fame, no loved ones. They will be unhappy forever unless they realize there is something about them worth changing and decide to act on it."

This is in contrast to Stanford, someone who, just like Bill, was deeply hurt and rejected by society, struggled to feel understood, and took refuge in a narcissistic (bear with me-) view of the world. Diagnostic labels aside, Ford genuinely thinks he is better than everyone else for being smarter. He is a textbook Aspie Supremacist that swears by IQ tests because it's the only thing that has ever validated him. That's why he gets along with Bill, I think, they really *have* compatible mindsets. Ford really thought Rudolph should've killed the other reindeer. He constantly dismisses Fiddleford in what feels a very classist way (even if he grew up working class himself). Ford isn't manipulative and malicious in the same way Bill is, and I don't want anyone coming at me for saying Ford is evil. He isn't. He might be a bit of an ass, but he has a moral code, he knows that what Bill wants to do is A BAD THING and dedicates his life to trying to stop him. Stanford's biggest flaw is not appreciating the people around him more for their inherent value (not that he doesn't love them! he does!), but he learns, and he changes. He is more considerate of other people's needs and their perspectives.

And by the end, he is happy. He is free from Bill, he has his family, people who will support him unconditionally and will put up with his nonsense because they love him.

Stanford will never find someone who is as smart as him, who has been ostracized the same way he has. But that's okay. He has an inherent value as a person that has nothing to do with how smart he is in comparison to other people. He doesn't need other people's approval to be happy.

That is, I think, what the book wants you to take away. Don't be like Bill. Don't fall for the Alpha Male scam, or eugenics, some new age cult or multilevel marketing scheme, reject the ideas at the base. Talk to your family and friends, touch grass, find a group that shares your interests, but don't dwell endlessly on resentment, and don't follow people that tell you that the only way to be valuable is to be "superior" in some abstract metric, and that they can teach you how.

(As a kid, I almost fell down the alt-right pipeline-- and I am Mexican, transgender, and autistic. I fantasized about blowing up the school every day. I know what the fuck I am talking about when I tell you this.)

They are lying. You don't want to be like them.

You don't want to be like Bill.

[carylmeanslove]

Ha ha ha and now what? Even Boss confirmed officialy that Antonia is Luke's lady whisteldown on his sm platforms..... I feel they both will have collab with them soon ha ha another hard launch but globally! Just see the reality and Come back to this planet. This is over. L and A are happy Hot and i love write about them

LOL Obvious children with no writing skills have been sending me Asks. All these anons, reek of desperation, same as Toilet twerker's attempts to be famous.

Boss confirmed that Antonia is Luke's Lady Whistledown on social media you say? Ha! I highly doubt that. Even if it were true, it's obvious it would be due to the distraction/ruse is still going on. In time, time will reveal the truth and mark my words it will, and I can't wait for that day, because all you pitiful anons will disappear out of embarrassment and so will the attention-seeking, fame wanting, basically gold digger type, horrible dancer.

That horrible woman is NOTHING like Lady Whistledown. Lady Whistledown, who is a self-made woman. She got all the success and notoriety by her own hard work. She didn't have to ride on another's coat tails. That is all the toilet twerker does.

Underneath the actual Lady Whistledown there is Penelope. That immature horrible person is NOTHING like Penelope either. Penelope is a caring person, and she loves the people she loves with her whole heart and would do anything to protect them. Colin wants to protect Penelope too and look out for her due to how much he loves her and due to how she is such a loving, caring and wonderful person and that continues even after the LW reveal.

Antonia is NOTHING like the caring and loving person that is Penelope. If she was, she wouldn't have been trying to steal attention from Nicola after every post all year. Luke would have wanted to protect Antonia like Colin wanted to protect Penelope/LW, but Luke didn't do that. He did, however, protect Nicola all due to people thinking he was shading her over cake fondant, and he did it in the speed of light too. Also, all Antonia does is cause people to hate on Luke more with every bad behavior. Is that protecting him? Nope.

The truth is that the person Luke considers like Penelope/LW is the love of his life, Nicola. He confirmed it on the WT. That is hard confirmed too. Like, there is actual video of him saying it. Go watch the interviews of the Brazil stop to be exact, Luke described Nicola as being like both Penelope and LW and why and it was all true too. Antonia has none of those qualities. He also confirmed Nicola is Penelope/LW it in a printed interview too. Saying that Nicola is that character.

Antonia can also only wish to be SERIOUSLY considered even remotely like Aphrodite or even Tinkerbell. Ha! Those characters, like Penelope/LW are beloved and will be remembered throughout history. I can say confidently that miss thang won't. She won't last in the entertainment industry because you have to have likability and NO ONE likes her due to her behavior and personality, her aura even. Even you guys will get over her after the truth is revealed.

My advice for Antonia is she needs to go get a degree in a non-entertainment industry job, because the one she chose has a shelf life. She doesn't have the ability or likability to sustain a career in the entertainment industry. She also needs to develop a hard work ethic and reach where is it she wants to be with the sweat of her own brow. It's the only way to truly be proud of any accomplishment one might receive in life.

So anyway, to wrap up. you are highly delusional, Anon.

[grussellsprout]

Is This Where It Ends?

Authors Note: this is my first smau fic I have written or fic in general so please leave any suggestions down in the comments that I could do better on when writing and feel free to write any requests in my inbox for current or past drivers on the grid! This is probably gonna be multiple parts and is inspired by Bailey Zimmerman's "Where it ends"

Pairing: Logan "wanna be Captain America" Sergeant x mixedblackcountrysinger! reader

fc: Various pinterest girls

Trope: Childhood best friends to lovers to ex's to ?

Warnings: Logans gonna be problematically toxic sorry guys.

Background: You and 2023 F1 rookie Logan Sergeant grew up together while being neighbors and moms being best friends with each other growing up. The both of them trying to push their kids into a relationship since they were teenagers because of their own teenage dreams of becoming each others in laws. What happens when Logan and you finally give in and give it a shot falling in love however with your music sky rocketing and his racing career going not as expected. What happens when your sweet childhood best friend turned "love of your life" gets resentful of your success and taking you, your love, and support for granted

youruser

liked by logansargeant lilymhe and 954,649 others

youruser Finally got around to making my debut album after much anticipation from y'all. American Romance is out now! featured pic of the inspiration of the album overfilled with love and admiration for the absolute love of my life.

Tagged:logansargeant

logansargeant I love you so much my cowgirl. So proud of you baby!

| youruser awww I love you too Logie Bear thank you sm honey 💕💕💕 liked by logan sargeant

user3 Anyone else feeling incredibly single after listening to her album? just me?

| user2 ALL OF US DO

| landonorris felt incredibly single mate after that listen

| user2 LANDO? damn even the album got to him

lilymhe When do I get my own song or an album @youruser ???? Thought I was the love of your life

| francisca.cgomes get in line for your own song I get one first bc I'm really the love of her life????

| youruser You both will gotta leave the best for last @francisca.cgomes @lilymhe

user7 mother is mothering again

user5 SLAY THE HOUSE DOWN Y/N

With the debut of the new album my social media was exploding and the songs were absolutely everywhere you went. I had interviews left and right on the most know late night shows, even getting to host an episode of SNL as the music guest. Even reaching the media on the paddock being a topic for everyone on the grid as it was blowing up. However it was the only thing that they were discussing with Logan, I could tell it was starting to get to him especially with the his and the team performance in Australia and it heading into the Montreal GP. I tried to make him feel as supported by me in his career as I could. I started to cancel interviews to go to every GP there was on the calendar for the season when he started to show the slightest of signs the media attention getting to him but he just kept pushing me away. No matter what I did to try and give him the support and attention I thought he needed or wanted from me. However it just never felt enough even though I was giving it my all. Showing up to all the sessions with him (attempted to be hand by hand) early in the morning and not leaving the paddock until he was done and set while giving my entire attention to him, even while he was in the garage talking to his mechanics; there I was following him around like a puppy just happy to be there. Meanwhile whenever he did seem to acknowledge my presence, his girlfriend's presence, all he could do was give me a scowl because I was in his way, or distracting the team, or something to get me away from him. We were never like this before, he was never like this before. I was starting to regret releasing the catalyst to what feels the ending of my relationship with who was my everything, who i thought was gonna be my forever.

F1gossipandwags

F1gossipandwags Fans saw y/n l/n looking extremely shocked and confused while upset outside of a restaurant in Miami on Sunday night after Logan Sargeant’s DNF earlier that day. Reports shown while in the restaurant y/n with Sargeant she seemed to be comforting her childhood love while it was only appearing to be irritating Sargeant causing him to “flip out” and storm out of the establishment dragging the music star with him breaking off the 3 year relationship.

user43 WAIT WHAT??????

[satoruhour]

gggOoooOOOOD MORNING ‼️‼️ ive been eating up your masterlist esp your racer au UGHHHH that was the last thought in my head before sleep and the first when i woke racer!geto was just. so. fking. h o t. u dont understand like that has a G R I P on me rn UGHHHH I LOVE IT SM do u have any spare hc for geto in this racer!au? if u dont thats okay! just know i ate that fic up 🫶🏻🫶🏻���🥺

a/n: thank u anon 4 the support im glad u liked the racer!au hehe. the original au here, how did you meet and geto’s own elaboration post for context. tagging @na-t0 @crysugu @omgeto @slttygeto / 2.4k

warnings: (in second half of post) mentions + discussions of semi-public sex, filming, fingering while driving, oral (f and m receiving), protected and unprotected sex, f and m masturbation, phone / webcam sex, sharing with gojo & nanami

AAHHH i might have !!! racer!geto has a special place in my heart huhu i would love to develop more

to start off i would say that he’s just… such a good bf. like i know it’s obvious but also the next day after your late night drifting he texted you to ask if you wanted to go back to the cafe :D

he paid for everything again and he was so happy seeing u get another cinnamoroll trinket !!

so when the cafe has another sanrio event you BET hes bringing you there again. it just so happened that it was a berry and cherry event too ahhhh geto’s so cute getting all excited and stuff

he got you two matching coffees with berry and cherry foam art

that cafe has become a monument in your relationship — your first date, the place where geto officially asks you to be his partner with a big bouquet of flowers that you’re hiding ur face wherever you go for the rest of the day cause it’s huge 😭 he brings you there with his racer friends as well (gojo cheers and nanami scoffs that these things weren’t for him but he loved their pastries wheeee)

attentive, attentive! always leaves his jacket in the car for you if you get cold in his Mazda. resorts to a jacket he doesnt like to wear much but bc he always puts you first, he doesn’t mind :(

geto doesnt like to race with outerwear on him so he always loves seeing you greet him after a successful race with a big grin on your face, jacket swallowing ur physique as u keep urself protected against the tokyo chill !!!

said this before but he looooves seeing you in his car. it just ignites something in him, seeing you propped up on the leather seats and looking out the window when you’re driving. it just gets him sort of feral

ALSO also bc his Mazda was his first proper and real racing car he’s very selective of who he lets touch it / sit in it etc

so when gojo does it he swats him away like a fly and asks him not to dirty his finishing as also geto is the only one to be seen in his car until you come along and gojo sees you sitting on the hood

hes reaching forward to tell you to get off bc he knows suguru doesnt like it but your bf only walks up between your legs to greet you with a big smile. the betrayal gojo felt 💀

overall the relationship with geto is quiet and calming. no need for talking if you dont feel like !!! all racer geto needs is his hand on your thigh that’s always stroking the skin there and you

but loves it when you do talk! he tries so hard not to turn to you cause if he does he’d crash the car 😭😭 he just loves ur beauty and the way you ramble so much !!

one time he swerved and almost hit a car because he was watching you talk about the recent research you did on cars and also running back the terminology he’s been patiently teaching you

to hear his partner talk about cars >>> he’s so excited that you’re finally entering his world that he gets so engrossed and almost collides 😭

NO MORE pls omg he was more scared than you were

but also running off on that, geto is understanding when he teaches you about terminology about racing, abt the parts in a car. he took apart an old car in his garage just to teach you and he loved that you were trying your best to memorise everything 🥹

getting into an rs with geto also has given you more confidence, so he loves how you strut your stuff. he wasnt complicit in anything truly !!! didnt force you to wear anything or do anything you didnt want to, so he was very proud of you when you came out of your shell

geto would love you either way :3 hes just a sweet boy like that

i also relate him to han very closely from f&f… always eating his snacks in tokyo drift LMFAO - geto is chill, letting you feed him his snacks as you cuddle up on him on his hood and watch the new race

ok so, he LOVES racing and geeking out about them but he finds sometimes he watches you way more than the races and before then the race is already over 😭

“suguru! did you see how i crushed the other guy?” gojo emerges and shouts across the parking lot and geto is just like “huh? sorry i wasnt looking was too busy looking at my lover” LMAOOO

when you can’t attend his races you always make it a point to send a selfie with your cherry keychain and he sends one with his berry one back and its just soooo cute youre giving him so much wallpaper material!!

also likes to bring you on drives at night - if you need to rush something or study you bet he’ll be there. he’ll try not to interrupt you, looking at your knees tucked in your arms and memorising your notes

he plays those subliminal audios as a joke and annoys you in the process 💀 

and then just pecks your forehead in apology as he watches or helps you with assignments while occasionally looking out the window and smoking

geto always has a hand on you. it shows his possessive streak and just a general love for physical touch

like i said doesnt pressure u into anything but you’ve expressed interests in his tattoos before

you get a tramp stamp with him for your first one! the pain wasnt that bad, more from lying on your stomach for like 2.5h because of the shading lol. it’s a simple one, but a popular one because of the culture

geto offered to pay for you and you rejected, and he said “alright. half at least” and you didnt exactly oppose that because you were running low on jpn yen for your overseas exchange stay

the tattoo looked so good omfg geto was like . going INSANE it was lowkey funny

gojo and nanami wouldnt hear the end of it for like 3 weeks 😭😭😭

had the photo of you and your tramp stamp as his lockscreen for the longest time

as always tattoos are very addictive! you got a few more in the short span of 6 months (maybe 2-3 small ones) but what really made geto go like. clinically insane was this super big on on your thigh (peep the very first post of this au!!)

it’s a spider with chinese traditional ropes and it was by far your biggest one, taking a dent in your account that you had to lie and ask ur parents for more money after and promise to pay back by working part time

ok i need to preface this part first that geto adores your thighs - you didnt show much of it at first but when you start to be more comfortable with the racing scene he almost came in his pants when you first wore a miniskirt

so to see such beautiful ink on YOUR thighs oh my days felt like you were a goddess walking down the steps to his garage

has a little matching tattoo with you :( it’s not too obvious, but has features of berry and cherry on the both of you <3 down the line he would get other vague and subtle couple tats with you but if you want to mark up your body however you wanna he’d like that too :3

so i actually left the latest fic on a cliffhanger… bro was so heartbroken after you left :( couldnt race properly, couldnt focus in uni, poor boy

even gojo or nanami couldnt get thru to him, but over time he got used to the distance and timezones. moves his whole set-up to the garage just so he’d get better wifi there and also show the latest upgrades to his car !!! the webcam quality is pretty shitty on both ends though so you get disappointed more than once trying to talk to him bc the call isnt connecting well :/ 

continues to send those berry / cherry pics where you’re miles away, and more than once suguru has gone to bed crying :(( but i will keep these sad ones short bc i hate angst and also i might wanna write a next part uh… we’ll see

geto also mails things to you which take ages to ship and you only get the presents one month before you finish uni for good and 💀 it’s so funny seeing his shock at you having just received his gifts

a sweet, sweet bf who takes care of you immensely <3

n*sfw hc’s under divider

now >:) i also dont want to go into too much detail because. i might. MIGHT. continue. do not ask for the next part explicitly tho that shit annoys me. but geto loves to see your body on his car and the risks that come with it

you guys fuck more in his car compared to his or your room looool.

fingers you when he drives sometimes. when you’re feeling needy all you need to do is drag his fingers to your throbbing core and let him feel how wet you are. 

he tries so hard not to look at you bc you know what happened the last time, so he relies purely on his touch and your hands, fingers slipping inside your panties and he grabs onto the steering wheel with the hardest grip

geto has the patience of a monk, however, letting you use him for your high and grinding down on his fingers. it’s usually not after the race or errand that he properly fucks you bc he knows if he starts he will. not. stop. not even lying

has adrenaline high after racing and will fuck you always unless he’s roughed up, but unlike gojo he probably will drive to a more secluded area. the car is there, the risk is there, it gets geto all riled up

one time he was pissed his opponent scratched his Mazda while racing and while he still won, he pushed you into his leather seats to slam into you. he was going so hard the car was shaking, and he teasingly shows you the brief video gojo sends you later, caressing your very sore legs (you were fine with the recording)

“guess i went too hard, huh?”

you shove him and tell him jokingly, “tell your pervert friend to stop filming us!”

“you like it. me showing everyone who you belong to.” geto is so possessive i swear

loves fucking you in the mountains bro is freaky asf. brings you on late night drives and lays on the hood with you to watch the stars - sometimes it ends cleanly but most times you’re feeling up each other until you’re bent over his Mazda letting him fuck you raw

has fucked you while in the driver’s seat, riding him. has given u oral as u lay on the hood of his car, done a full nelson in his backseat whew you name it he’s so gross and filthy. 

when u contrast it properly with how loving and generous he is and to him when it comes to you and your body the difference is insane. but it also sometimes seeps through when he can’t handle your cute outfits and just has to land a smack and squeeze to your ass

ok this isnt n*sfw but it’s so hot of him - he HAS done this before. made you sit in gojo’s car as he drifted around you in a quiet tokyo crossing late one night and oh my god you made sure he knew how attractive you thought he was. gojo left right away when you two started flirting 💀

likes to both give and receive, so the first time you go down on him was possibly just right after he’s done the drifting around you and you couldn’t resist palming him from the passenger’s seat. you asked him to pull over immediately went to the driver’s side and started pulling at his pants.

you didnt even think that your knees were going to be on gravel so before you could kneel down to suck him off he took his jacket from the back seat to put on the ground …. and then proceeded to get the best blowjob of his life LMFAOOOO

getos a little crazy it’s ok i can take him ! but yea hes filthy thru and thru and dude he missed you sm when you left back to your country.

of course, of COURSE has jerked off at the thought of you, to photos you’d send of a new outfit. also has proposed having phone sex. webcam sex is reserved for special occasions because the sight of you playing with yourself is enough for him to book a flight 😭 he possibly couldnt handle it so he settles for your voice only

he doesnt like to share you, but when you do ask if youve ever thought of getting gojo and nanami in on the fun …. ooh. good luck

again his possessiveness shows so he doesn’t let them fuck you raw lol but rather ask them to get their own condoms 💀💀

his friends r freaks too you realise but it’s time to time where the three of them will organise dates to have some fun with you, but only when youre comfortable. geto putting ur comfort first always 🙏

so sometimes you reject them bc you have an exam comin up etc and geto just treats you in his car or your bedroom alone and even with just him, hes already enough to make you go crazy and moan <3

peep that op has that same exact spider tattoo on her thigh~ teehee

[thekeeperof-thefandoms]

Headcanons of Lucifer watching his s/o and Charlie getting along and maybe even having a little musical note together I just know he'd be getting all teary eyed and shit seeing his baby girl having some form of mother figure or someone she can really look to for advice currently present in her life ❤️ Thanks sm hope u have a good day/night!

Absolutely!

I think at first the relationship between Charlie and anyone her dad dates is awkward because she's so nice and trying to be supportive and Lucifer's new s/o would be trying too hard to create that bond. But steadily, you two would find real things you have in common and begin spending time together.

I'm going to use myself for reference here, but I personally really like arts and crafts kind of stuff and am willing to listen to pretty much all genres of music as long as I like the beat/rhythm. So I imagine most of your bonding is done making posters for the hotel, doing crafts with the guests, and just in general vibing to music together.

Like, one suggested activity for the group is coloring because it's a good outlet and it becomes so popular you guys just have a permanent stack of coloring pages and books available with marker, pens, colored pencils, and you, Charlie, Lucifer, and Vaggie are all just coloring and talking, Lucifer's telling embarrassing stories about baby Charlie for you and Vaggie, and you share a few embarrassing stories of yourself to make Charlie feel better and the absolute relief on her face is palpable.

Charlie is nervous because some sinners critiqued her hotel, her appearance, how her dad had to bail her out in the fight against heaven and it's all just making her upset. And of course her dad and her girlfriend are gonna say stuff about how she's beautiful, the hotel is a wonderful idea, and she was so brave in that fight. And like, yeah you're dating her dad and you've been super nice so far, but when you sit down next to her and ask quietly, "Can I offer you some advice?"

"Please? I feel like I don't know what I'm doing."

You laugh, patting her shoulder. "You're young, Charlie, you're not supposed to have it all figured out. But one thing you can do, is decide not to let judgemental pricks get to you. Take every criticism with a grain of salt. Improve, adapt, and filter out bullshit. You can't make everyone happy, and you'll exhaust yourself if you try. So as long as you're happy and at the end of the day you can say you're proud of what you've done, that you tried....well, that should be enough, right?"

Charlie thinks about it and nods. There's a visible shift in her attitude. "Thanks, I needed to hear that....Do you think you could help me read through some of the reviews and stuff? I want to improve if there's any genuine issue that I can address and Dad and Vaggie are....a lot. They just keep trying to tell me everything is perfect."

"They're just trying to hype you up. They love you a lot, so naturally they want you to feel successful and excited. Come on, let's go make some big bowls of ice cream and read through those reviews using silly AI voices. It'll be hilarious."

You and Charlie head off to do just that, talkin and laughing, and neither one of you notices Lucifer absolutely melting into the floor from a few floors up, as he clings to the railing he was leaning against to ease drop. He's gonna need a few minutes to recover. He's crying happy tears. His little girl is grown up and getting along with his partner and they're spending time together and enjoying things together. You're giving her advice and offering her comfort and meeting Charlienat her level and he's just more convinced you're perfect.

He may or may not be ring shopping in the near future. Probably with Ozzie and Bee. They've always had good taste and will probably be thrilled to help him. And if Ozzie is also casually looking for a ring while they're out, well, Lucifer won't say anything.

[nellielsss]

ɬɧɛ ცơყ ıʂ ɱıŋɛ… ℘ɬ ıı

Summary: A part two to The Boy Is Mine! Due to its massive success (over 400 likes!!), I decided to add two more chars who I thought could fit this trope w/ a yandere reader. I was also inspired to add more because of a lovely commenter on my pt. 1! (@ahoeindeedinneed) Note: I've been seeing sm heian era Sukuna fics and they're all so yummy... still hate Sukuna tho 💋 I also didn't proofread this so it might have a fewwwww grammatical errors Incl: cult leader!Suguru Geto & heian era!Ryomen Sukuna x fem!reader CW: death, reader is a highly flawed person, mentions of sex, stockholm syndrome (esp. with Sukuna)

Sυɠυɾυ Gҽƚσ

╰┈➤ There comes a part in every parent's life when they must let their dear daughter spread their wings and fly out of the nest, so naturally your parents had some fears when they let you fly into the future. To make their fears even worse, you were rather naïve to the intentions of others, and your beauty made you all the more susceptible to the manipulations of other, dangerous people. One of those fears, although quite bizarre, is that their dearest daughter would somehow get wrapped up in a deadly & dangerous cult and end up beyond all salvation.

What they couldn't have predicted, though, was that their daughter would end up enamored with the leader of a cult who went by the name of Suguru Geto.

You still remember the first time you walked into the monk's temple.

You, much like him, were a Jujutsu sorcerer, only you were pretty weak, barely a 3rd-grade sorcerer. Your parents also never allowed you to explore the world of Jujutsu, saying that it only led to pain and suffering. Even the strongest of sorcerers were susceptible to falling victim to these curses. As a 3rd-grade sorcerer, you had enough power to defend yourself from curses that you could potentially encounter in your daily life, so, in their minds, that was all you needed to get by with.

That poor cat--if only it was able to withstand curiosity and go on to live a happy life... some would consider you a cat in this case, and they weren't wrong.

You had heard of a monk by the name of Suguru Geto who had a vast knowledge of curses and all things Jujutsu. So, when your friend had fallen victim to a pretty serious curse that left them in bad shape, and you weren't able to heal her, you set out for the monk's temple that was located just outside of Tokyo, hoping that this mysterious and enigmatic man would be able to help you somehow.

He also remembers the day in which you and him first met. He remembers the door opening and the sight of your frantic, borderline hysterical state of duress, as well as the woman who you were holding up.

"Are you Suguru Geto?!" your honeyed voice asked the moment you were able to catch your breath. He remembers catching a glimpse of your beautiful face for the very first time, and he also remembers the intensity of his heartbeat when he fully took in your appearance.

You were wearing a pink sweater on that day, and a few drops of blood that came from your friend's injuries had stained part of your sleeve.

You were in dire need of some assistance, and who was he to deny a beautiful woman such as yourself what you needed?

"Why yes, I am Suguru Geto," he said, sitting up from where he lounged. "Your friend looks to be in bad shape. Might I ask why you came to me instead of a hospital?"

"I went to a hospital yesterday, but all they could do was patch up her wounds on the outside--she won't stop bleeding!" You said, the panic evident in your normally sweet voice. Tears had already stained your face, and your relaxed eyes were shot open in worry. "A curse attacked her the day before yesterday, but I haven't been able to find anyone who could properly treat her, and I don't know how to treat her wounds with my own power! Please, sir, please just help her! I was told that you could do amazing things to those who were affected by curses, and I'm worried she's not gonna make it!!"

Oh? So you knew about & could see curses? This was perfect for him. A pretty lady who wasn't a filthy monkey... even though you were weak in terms of ability, it was better than nothing.

"Those bastards in jujutsu society were never good for anything, were they?" Geto muttered under his breath. He beckoned you closer with a hand and asked you to come closer. "Please, let me take a look, miss."

With a shaky, weak grip, you brought your friend over to where he laid, and he took a closer look at her. "I haven't eaten much since she was injured, so it took me a while to get up here."

"All that matters is that she's here, no?" he asked, still looking at your friend. "Hm... she is in pretty bad shape. Looks like the doing of a first grade curse... She was lucky to have survived this attack in her current condition."

With shaky hands clasped together, you looked up at him again. "So can you help her?"

"Of course I can, Miss...?"

"(L/N)."

"Of course I can, Miss (L/N). It's nothing a quick technique can't patch up," he said, offering you a reassuring smile. If you weren't in such a panicked state, you would've thought that he was flirting with you. "I can keep her here for a couple of days while she heals. Rest assured that she'll be good as new by the time you return."

"Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you, sir!" you exclaimed, a smile returning to your gorgeous features. "I can't thank you enough!"

He gave you a humble smile and nodded. "It's my duty to help those in need."

"So, is there gonna be some kind of payment required or...?"

"Hm?" he hummed. "What kind of a sorcerer would I be if I charged for my services? No, miss, this is free-of-charge."

"Really?!" you asked again, getting excited. "Oh my god, thank you so much! You really are a blessing, Mr. Geto!"

"Well, as a jujutsu sorcerer, it's my duty to ensure that our society is free of pain, and that includes curses." He stood up again, and so did you. While you were wearing heels in that moment, he was quite tall in comparison to you. His long, bountiful hair and the monk robes that he wore only added to his presence, and you couldn't help but feel a little small next to him. "She'll be able to go home within only 3 days time at the latest. You're welcome to stop by and check in on how she's doing in the meanwhile."

You nodded and continued to smile at Geto. "Okay, sounds good. Thank you so much again--she probably would've died without your help."

Because she's a monkey.

"Again, it's no problem," he reassured you kindly. "Have a good afternoon, Miss (L/N)."

"You too," you said, beginning to walk away from the monk.

He didn't know what possessed him to ask you this next question, but he thanks whoever's watching him for making him do so. "Miss (L/N)," he called out to you. "If you don't mind, there is something you could do in return for me."

You stopped in your tracks and looked behind at him. "What can I do for you?"

"You said you didn't have much power in you, correct?" he asked, making your happy expression turn into one of puzzle.

"Um... yeah. Why do you ask?"

He thought about how he could word this without coming across as weird. "How would you like to raise that power of yours?"

"What do you mean?"

"Become my protégé, (L/N)," he said, now extending his arms towards you. "With my help, I can make sure you're equipped to handle any future battles or curses with confidence. I'm told I'm a miracle worker, and I'm sure I could make something strong out of you, miss."

You were both starstruck and confused at the same time. Here you were, asking this man to heal your friend, and now he wanted you to become a student of his? "You wanna... mentor me?"

"Is that not what I asked?" he opened his eyes this time, his dark brown pupils staring right at you. "You have the capacity to do amazing things in the future, Miss (L/N). Although you may not think you do, there's a great power inside of you, and I think that I could help you unlock it. Would you do me the honor of letting me mentor you?"

Words couldn't describe how you were feeling in this very moment. All you've ever wanted was to be a strong, capable woman without the help of others, and your parents never let you do so growing up. In came a strong, handsome, capable & humble man who was asking to help better you? Although every part of you was telling you to leave and to forget about it, the pull you felt towards this charismatic man was trumping the logical part of you, and your feet began to move towards him.

His smile grew once he saw you coming towards you, and he said: "that's it, there we go." Once he had you in arm's reach, he pulled you into his arms and gave you a reassuring embrace.

"You won't regret this, Miss (L/N)."

You didn't expect that choice to make you the lover and right-hand woman of a cult leader, but you were glad you did--the new you was, anyway.

Honestly, you didn't even see the cult part coming. Sure, Geto was a monk who healed people with spiritual abilities (and taught you how to better yours), but by then you didn't even flinch when he told you he was a cult leader. He didn't outright say it until it was time for your initiation, anyway--he said that joining his "group" would only better your abilities.

It's not like you were some low-ranking member; you were actually Suguru's right-hand woman. Well, more like his pet, but he made you believe that you were his equal (even when you were a measly grade 2 & he was a special grade). Suguru made you believe that you were stronger, that you were better than everyone else in this filthy, disgusting, monkey-ridden world.

Like when you had your head in his lap & he was playing with your silky soft hair (one of the perks of being Suguru's girlfriend was you getting access to his incredible hair!). "You have such nice hair, y'know, (Y/N)?" he murmured, running his long fingers through your tresses. "It's so soft, so shiny--probably better than mine, if we're being honest."

"Now you know that that's a lie, Sugu," you prodded him, making him chuckle deeply in his chest.

"It's not a lie--at least, not a lie to me, and we both know that my opinion reigns supreme." Even when the two of you were just playing around, he always managed to slip in some of his ego every now and then. "Better than all those monkeys out there... such dirty, disgusting creatures, most of them probably have the greasiest and filthiest hair imaginable."

"Sugu..." you trailed off. Part of you wanted to defend those monkeys, but the other part of you agreed with him. Maybe it was all the sermons that he preached to his Jujutsu sorcerer followers, or maybe it was the conditioning that he'd put you through all these months, but you couldn't exactly refute his sentiment. While yes, there were some people with nice hair, the majority of the people out there had shitty, unwashed hair. Bleached, dead-ends, greasy strands, all kinds of hair existed in the "regular" world, the one that you were kept safe from by Suguru. What more could you need when you lived in his forest temple & had servants doing all your errands for you? What more could you need when you had the most loving, attentive & handsome boyfriend in the entire world?

"You're such a treat, (Y/N)," he remarked, now scratching your scalp. "I don't know what I'd do without you, not when I have to deal with all these disgusting monkeys praying at my feet & begging me for help. Can't they just learn how to get by on their own? The world would be-"

"Suguru," you said a bit firmly, planting your finger on his lips. "You're rambling again."

His slightly irritated expression softened up a bit & he smiled at you again. "My apologies, sweetheart," he said, reaching down to kiss your forehead. "You know how I get."

He was so grateful to have you there by his side, keeping him calm & grounding him. When he has to deal with so many monkeys, it's no wonder he can get ticked off by the slightest issue.

And those monkeys were no slight issue.

Which is why you deemed it alright to kill so many of his followers.

It's not like you wanted to kill those people... actually, no, you did. It's no secret that Suguru was one of the handsomest, most charismatic people out there. Not only did he possess formidable strength & intellect, but he also blessed with a kind of male beauty & a silver tongue to go along with it. Many of his followers joined his cult just so they could catch a glimpse of the infamous monk's graceful, elegant features and the shiny, silky, midnight hair that seemed to reflect the light of the lamps in his temple.

Not only that, but he was also quite good in bed. He made you feel so seen, so loved, so adored & worshipped like you were the cult leader that he couldn't get enough of. His strong, muscled form contrasted against your soft, squishy one was delicious, and it had you squirming all night long. Everything about him was just incredible!

Except for those stupidly horny followers.

Did they really think that they had a chance with him? That the very same man who called them trash (behind their backs) would tear his eyes from you & look their way?

If only they could all hear just how vile he speaks of them... well, if they did, then he wouldn't have a cult following.

Which is why you, the ever-loyal and ever-present girlfriend, had to do the dirty work for him. Did he ask you to kill them off? No, but it sure felt good to do something for him without needing to be asked.

None of them were memorable enough anyway. If they died or were maimed in a terrible accident, then he wouldn't bat an eyelash; he'd probably crack a smile and say "one less monkey in this world."

But, ugh, even the monkeys had their own beauty... sometimes.

Like the monkey whose beauty was so captivating that the other monkeys looked at her for a second before looking back at Suguru. How dare she disrupt his sermons like that; how dare she be such an annoying nuisance! Did she not know that she was in the presence of the great Suguru Geto?! The monk who they sought out in the first place?!

Monkeys really could be tainted by the most stupid of things. So what if she had red hair and a nice chest? Suguru was infinitely times more beautiful than her--that cretin was lucky to even be here when she should really be in a body bag off a shady highway!

It's not like Suguru even cared about the woman. If she had any cursed energy--which she didn't, then maybe he'd acknowledge her as one of his own, one of the chosen ones. But as long as she was a lowly monkey, none of that shit mattered. No amount of beauty or boobs could change what she was.

A monkey.

A monkey who needed to be disposed of.

As long as Suguru stood by your side, you'd do anything for him. Even if he didn't ask you to, you'd still do what was best for you both. How else was he supposed to recruit people to his great cause?

"Master Geto, that was truly a wonderful service," that redheaded monkey said once she finally had an opening. "I can't express how grateful I am to have become a member of your sect... you truly are a wonderful man--everything you stand for is just amazing!"

"You're just too kind," Geto replied in a fake-sincere tone. You could see the repulsion in his face & his body language, the way he stood slightly off to the side from her like he'd get a disease if he came too close. You were busy polishing a bowl that he used for his ceremonies, and you swore that if it wasn't fine china, you would've broken it into shards minutes ago.

'How dare that cunt come close to the great Suguru Geto--how dare she overstep her boundaries! Doesn't she know her place as a follower of his? A minion? She should speak when spoken to-'

"And you, miss, were also quite nice," the monkey said to you, breaking you out of your thoughts. Your grip on the bowl tightened, and a crack could be seen from where your thumb & index finger gripped it.

"Oh... well, thank you!" You replied in an equally fake tone. You were probably more disgusted at this moment than Geto, and that sure was a remarkable feat.

It was hard not to be disgusted when an ill-natured monkey made obvious advances towards your man.

"She sure is great, isn't she?" Geto said suddenly, wrapping his arm around your shoulders. "She volunteered to help me with my ceremonies, and who was I to say no? Things couldn't run so smoothly if not for her!"

"What a remarkable act of kindness!" She exclaimed, clapping her hands together. "Perhaps one day I'll be so lucky."

No she won't.

"Perhaps..." Geto trailed off, clearly trying to get out of this conversation quicker. The sooner you and him could get to his girls and take them out for crepes, the better--but monkeys like her have the audacity to ruin your planned days.

Maybe... maybe it'd be best to get rid of her today. That way, she wouldn't even have the chance to disrupt your outing.

"Come now, beloved," Geto said to you. "Mimiko and Nanako have been dying to try them out, even more so with their beloved surrogate mother."

"Suguru, don't call me that! We've only been together for a year, I couldn't possibly be their mother!"

"It's much too late for that, sweetheart. Mimi and Nana already view you as such--they're just begging me to make things official already. Would you be so cruel as to deny them what they want?"

You shook your head and leaned into his shoulder, letting him plant a kiss on the top of your head. "Well, they sure are well-behaved girls. Anyone would be lucky to be their mother."

Geto moved his hand to the small of your back and started guiding you out of the room. "Come now, dear, let's change out of these robes and into something more comfortable, hm?"

"Actually, I think I need to do something first. Don't wait up for me, though; I'll catch up with the three of you later."

"Hm? What do you-" for some reason, Geto stopped talking and instead let a knowing look pass over his face. "Alright, then. Don't be too long--the crepes will be eaten up before you know it."

"Okay, I won't! I promise," you giggled, reaching up to plant a kiss on his cheek. You patted his chest and he let you go, walking out of the room while smiling to himself.

Now, it was your turn to smile.

"Oh, miss!" You called out to the monkey before she left the room. "You said you wanted to become a ceremony helper one day, correct?"

Her face lit up with a big smile and she nodded enthusiastically. "I would love to!" You didn't even have to do any convincing, she was just that stupid. Your smiled grew in malice and you waved her over.

"Well, your training starts today," you said, guiding her over to where the bowl was. "Today, you're going to learn how to properly wash a ceremony bowl. Now, these things are quite delicate, and the things we put in them are difficult to wash out, but we must do so in order for the ceremony to be properly carried out."

You grabbed a thing of soap (it was some cheap shit you bought at the Konbini), poured some out into the fine china, and you washed it. It really wasn't difficult--there was nothing to pray for here--but it gave you an opening.

"Do you know what we worship here at this temple, miss?" You asked suddenly, breaking the silence.

"Of course I do! I.... uh, we worship..."

You sighed, shaking your head and tch-ing your tongue. "Bad little monkey," you said, your voice just dripping with mock sincerity.

"... what did you just call me?"

"Did your monkey ears fail you? I called you a bad little monkey," you spat, no longer feeling the need to put up a front. "I'll tell you what we believe in since we're so stupid: we believe in the eradication of monkeys like YOU!!"

Suddenly, you grabbed the bowl with both hands & smashed it over her head with enough force to make her fall to the floor. "P-Please, someone-" you had already made her cough up blood when she fell to the floor, the red liquid splashing and staining the paper walls.

"Nobody's gonna help you, you stupid chimp," you spat, grabbing her hair and throwing her around the room. "All the other monkeys have gone home, and you're the only one who stayed! Just your luck, huh? Well, this only makes it easier for me to do--less monkeys to kill!!"

She attempted to crawl away, only for you to kick her with your sandal, effectively breaking her nose. "I simply don't get it--why are you so stupid? Master Geto would never let you be in his ceremonies, you're much too disgusting and tainted to be in them. All you monkeys do is slaughter, taint, and ruin everything! At least, that's what Master Geto taught me." You shook your head and watched her crawl away with a sinister smile on her face. She was holding her broken nose with one hand and crawling with the other, the fear etched into her face like a scripture.

"Aren't monkeys supposed to swing and jump around? Why aren't you swinging--are you so weak that you can't even do what you were born to do?" You grabbed her arm and twisted it, making her screech in pain. You could already see the bone sticking out, and that delighted you to no end. You forcefully turned her over and got a good look at her face, the unbridled fear and terror in her gaze like a delicious dessert.

"I'm going to show you what happens when monkeys fly too close to the sun," you said ominously, bending down to her level. "You may be pretty for a monkey, but you're still nothing but an animal, a primitive thing that needs to be eradicated and put in its place. We already have enough of you running around and destroying shit; Master Geto certainly doesn't need you destroying his place."

"Please... I'll..."

"What, do anything?" You let out a cackle, throwing your head back and laughing. "Whatever you're offering, we're not interested. You got that? You got that through your silly little pea brain?" You then grabbed her hair and bent her head back, allowing you access to her neck and chest.

"It's too bad, you couldn't just do as you were told and stay away from him... the only way you'll learn is by an example, so this better be exemplary enough."

You grabbed the bowl shards from the floor and held it up in the air, a sadistic smile the last thing she saw before the porcelain struck her neck. You dug a deep gash into her neck & trailed it all the way down to her neck, the blood spewing everywhere and ruining your kimono. You didn't care, though; you were just having so much fun killing this stupid monkey!

With each stab, each thrust of your makeshift weapon, your smile grew in size & your laughs became more deranged. "Die... die... die, die, die, die, DIE, YOU STUPID MONKEY!!!" You screamed, leaving her body nothing but a bloodied, gash-ridden corpse. She was practically unrecognizable now, and if you continued, her entrails probably would've come out. Once you were sure she was bloodied enough, you stepped back, letting out a relieved sigh.

"One less annoying monkey in this world..."

"My apologies, I seem to have interrupted something," Geto's voice suddenly said from the hallway.

Your heart dropped into your stomach when you realized that he'd just watched you tear apart one of his followers. You were sure that he wouldn't care, that he'd reward you with a kiss and a hug...

... but right now, you were afraid that he'd toss you out as well.

After all, she was his follower, so he should've been the one to kill her. And... and you--you were supposed to be the untainted, pure-hearted girlfriend;

You were supposed to be the loving and motherly mother to his daughters;

You weren't supposed to be the one shedding blood for that was his job, not yours;

You were supposed to know where you stood.

"No... just ignore her, just-" your voice suddenly caught in your throat & you crawled away, a part of you fearing that he'd cast you out once again & leave you to the wolves.

You curled up into a ball and hid your bloodied hands & face from his eyes to see. After all, a man like him shouldn't bear witness to such carnage.

"(Y/N), you really can be quite silly sometimes... although, now you smell a bit." He reached into his pocket and took out monkey repellent, spraying you a little bit.

You looked at him in confusion as he sprayed you, your brow furrowed in how taken aback you were instead of how scared you were.

"Eh?"

"Did you not hear me? I said you smell like a monkey--you have its blood on you, after all." He took off your outer robe and threw it to the side of the room, covering her mangled corpse, further shielding the both of you from the sight of her. "And now we have to burn it... Couldn't you have at least worn something disposable?" the entire time, he was walking you over to the sink in order to rinse you of monkey blood.

You just stood there in silence, looking at him like he had now turned into a gorilla.

"What's with the look, darling?" he asked, "isn't it obvious?"

"... no, not really."

"Oh, my precious angel," he said, cradling you to his chest suddenly. "Don't you know that a being as precious as you shouldn't be so close to monkeys like her, much less touching her? I wouldn't want you to get infected with monkey-disease!" He exclaimed, acting like you had stage 4 brain cancer.

"But... aren't you mad at me for killing one of your followers?"

"Mad?" he scoffed, shaking his head at the notion of getting mad at you over getting rid of a monkey. "The only thing I'm mad about, dearest, is the fact that you felt the need to kill her with your own bare hands. You could've asked me to do it; I could've just killed her with a curse and went on my way."

"So, you're upset at me for touching her when you could've done it yourself."

"Bingo! My, you're such a smart girl," he exclaimed, a smiling returning to his features. "You're a sacred treasure, dear, a gift from whatever being sent you to me." He leaned down, nuzzling his nose against your neck in a display of affection. "I'll be damned if any of those monkeys taint you. From now on, if you ever feel the need to kill a monkey, I want you to come directly to me. No stalling or dilly-dallying; if anyone's going to be infected with monkey disease, I'd want it to be me."

"Suguru..." you burst out into laughter, shaking your head in amusement. "You really are something else!"

"I can't help it that I hate those monkeys."

Rყσɱҽɳ Sυƙυɳα

╰┈➤ Your entire life was filled with pity from the moment you were born, and probably to the moment you'd take your last breath, too. From the older courtesans of the pleasure house that you stayed in since your toddlerhood, to the moment you were taken away from them, everyone looked at you with nothing but pity. Even if people looked at you with disgust, they'd still somehow find a way to pity you.

'It's a pity that she has to resort to being such trash; she doesn't belong in a place like this,' one of the pedestrians of the Shibata Pleasure District said when she saw you posing for the pleasure house in which you resided in.

It truly was a pity how beautiful you looked, all dolled up with pins in your hair... only for some disgusting, wretched man to tear them out of your head & force you to do his bidding in one of the many rooms that the house had to offer. And what's worse is that you'd be forced to do the same task over & over again until you were deemed too old or sold off to some Samurai who'd no doubt make you do more disgusting, vile acts for his pleasure.

Every single day was the same. Every single day you'd wake up, get ready for your work (with one of your "sisters" helping you out), pose for the passersby, let them spend a couple hours making you do whatever lewd activities they were in the mood for, then rinse & repeat.

Every day was like dreaded clockwork. The only thing worse than this was homelessness & starvation which was your future if you ran away from the pleasure house.

Every night was spent dreaming over a handsome, noble Samurai who would swoop in and save you from this hellish nightmare. You knew that honorable noblemen were few and far in between--you'd heard the horrid tales of so-called "sorcerers" who did nothing but kill and maim each other--but was a girl not allowed to dream? Was a girl supposed to repeat this cycle without something to hold onto?

Who you didn't expect to be your savior, though, was the most horrid one of them all.

You still remember the look of pity your fellow courtesans gave you when you were taken, by carriage, to the most notorious warlord's compound for his own entertainment.

You still remember the fear in the eyes of the other girls who were chosen to attend this event.

You still remember the impending sense of doom you felt when you arrived at Ryomen Sukuna's estate.

You didn't remember the names of most of the warlords of your time, but the one that stuck out to you was the man who now had the ability to buy you off. Ryomen Sukuna was especially famous for his unabashed, unadulterated methods of killing. According to legend, the four-eyed, four-armed man would tear the heads of his enemies off their bodies & drink their blood like it was green tea. He had a throne of bones, and he was proud of who he was.

According to your sisters, if a concubine upset or made Sukuna mad, he'd kill them & drink their blood, much like how he treated his opponents on the battlefield. He wasn't a forgiving man, and he didn't pity those who showed signs of weakness.

But he'd be damned if he'd ever change his ways. He was Ryomen Sukuna, after all--who did he take orders from? The Emperor? That man should be lucky that he was even allowed to live.

You remembered the way you shook in fear when you saw the warlord for the very first time. He was as terrifying & menacing as the legends described him, but, you weren't allowed to leave or go home; no, you were expected to sing, dance & entertain the people at his party.

Unfortunately for you, when all four of Sukuna's eyes landed on you, you were now expected to directly entertain him.

He remembered the sense of intrigue he felt when he laid his eyes on you. You weren't one of the Oiran that usually served him--you were a mid-ranking courtesan, but to him, you might as well have been the madame herself.

The way you stood so composed despite the overwhelming sense of fear & nervousness that made you slightly tremble with each step you took; the way your kimono so perfectly complimented your appearance; that deliciously naïve and innocent demeanor of yours...

You were like a flower waiting to be plucked and thrown into a pit of debauchery. He'd be damned if any of his ignorant fellows got to do it first--he had to be the one to savor each drop of you.

It was a pity that you were only a mid-ranking courtesan, where had you been all this time? You should've already been made one of his personal concubines.

"That one," Sukuna's deep, rumbling voice said to Uraume, his right-hand person.

"The one in the red and pink kimono?"

"Yes, her. Bring her over to me at once, Uraume." Uraume was probably the only person he ever addressed by name.

"As you wish, Master Sukuna," they said with a bow. They got up from their seat and walked over to you, and now you could feel the dull feeling of fear expanding into a panicked alarm. The other courtesans there knew that Uraume did whatever Sukuna bid of them, so for them to approach you could only mean one thing: Sukuna had requested you.

Again, they all looked at you in pity as Uraume guided you to where the warlord sat.

The next morning, they watched in pity as the madame delivered the news that Sukuna had purchased you and was requesting you at once. Even the Oirans, the unfeeling, unforgiving bunch that they were, couldn't help but pity you in that moment.

"Please.... no, please--you can't let him take me!!" You screeched inside of your room, already in complete fear of what could potentially happen to you.

"It's too late. Lord Sukuna has already bought off your contract, and he's even paid handsomely so--he paid as much as he would've for an Oiran! I'm sorry, (L/N), but you need to go. The deal is already done."

All the fight left your body once she turned to walk away from you, and you felt the hot, silent tears stream down your face. There was no point in fighting when the deal was finalized, right?

The next morning, all of your sisters helped you pack up your belongings. Out of all 20 courtesans who had gone to the estate, you were the only one personally chosen by him. You were the only one who he felt was captivating enough to become one of his concubines, and you felt like the unluckiest girl in the entire world.

You sobbed the entire time you packed your belongings; you sobbed the entire carriage ride there; and you sobbed when his servants unloaded your things.

You had always dreamed of being rescued from this place, so why did it feel like you were being transferred to maximum security?

It might've been your need to please everyone around you and act as a doormat, and it also might've been the fact that you'd been trapped here for so long that you couldn't remember what life was like, but you were actually starting to like being one of Sukuna's concubines.

No... it wasn't either of the aforementioned reasons; it was the fact that when he looked at you, he didn't see pity. For the first time in your life, you weren't pitied for stuff that was beyond your control. All the other estate workers, the generals, and even Sukuna's righthand person, Uraume, they had all looked upon you in pity, pity that this bloodthirsty barbarian of a warlord had chosen you to be his concubine.

Make no mistake--Sukuna wasn't a nice person at all, nor did he treat you with a normal sense of decency, but he didn't look at you as some pitiful creature that needed saving. No; he looked at you and saw what he could turn your pretty face into: his own personal plaything.

Little by little, Sukuna started breaking you in. He had you dressed in the finest of kimonos, had you and the other girls attend Kabuki theatre shows, and put on the grandest of parties just for the fun of it. Though he only had 5 concubines at a time, you 5 were spoiled and fed more than enough to keep yourselves satisfied.

But there was something about you that made him personally notice you. The other 4 concubines were just toys that were kept around because they were able to take what he dished out, girls that he could just interchange with other girls. He made no effort to remember their names, only calling them by different types of flowers. To him, they were literally property, ornaments to be displayed whenever he had guests. Truth be told, that very same treatment and classification was why he was so feared, especially considering the fact that he didn't care about getting rid of property that didn't suit his needs anymore.

For instance, one of the girls, Suzuran, had been caught sleeping with one of his generals. His solution? Cutting off their heads and feeding them to the wolves, and making sure that the four remaining girls watched the entire spectacle so as to remind you that you were all just as disposable as she was. By next week, he had a replacement already lined up to take her place.

You lived those first few months in his grand estate in nothing but fear, making extra sure that you didn't piss him off enough to end up like Suzuran. Sukuna's estate might've been hell, but you didn't actually wanna go to Hell itself.

But when Sukuna started showing you special treatment, that was when you lived your life with less fear.

"(Y/N)," Uraume, Sukuna's righthand person, called out to you when you were in the garden. You were watching the koi fish when you heard the white-haired person say your name, and you immediately stood up. "Master Sukuna requests your presence at once."

This was bad, you thought. Uraume was only ever sent out when things were important, so for them to do this? It could only spell trouble.

Swallowing the lump in your throat, you nodded. "Lead me to Master Sukuna."

With you following close behind, Uraume led you all the way to his living quarters on the other side of his palatial estate, your wooden sandals clicking on the floor. The entire time, you were going through the motions of what could possibly happen to you. Maybe you'd slipped up when you dropped your bowl of soup the other day & embarrassed yourself, or maybe he was just tired of your presence and wanted to get rid of you.

It wouldn't be the first time or the last time.

Finally, Uraume knocked on the grand doors of Sukuna's room, and he ordered for the two of you to enter. Funnily enough, you've never actually been inside of his room, due to the fact that he's never once had sex with you or touched you in any sexual manner. He's never personally called for you like this, either--you didn't know why he chose you to be his concubine if you never made any sort of contact with the man.

"Leave," he said simply, telling whichever concubine was in his lap to go, along with Uraume. His four eyes watched the two of them leave, and as the door shut behind you, you felt as though your fate was sealed.

Sukuna's room was nothing short of grand. There was a huge set of armor set up against one of the paper walls, and there were lanterns all over his room. His silk bedsheets were red and pink, and that color scheme was spread throughout the room as well. There was also a huge painting depicting a rather brutal scene of a town being dragged to hell, one that you had to tear your eyes from.

"Come closer, (Y/N)." Now this was an odd request. He only ever referred to the others by their respective flowers, not by their first names (he didn't see any reason for attaching names to his property).

With a few, shaky steps, you made your way towards him. Even on the huge bed that was personally made for him, he still filled up half the mattress, his immense size commanding authority.

"Sit on the bed," he added to which you did. You felt his four eyes take in the sight of your beautiful form in that pink kimono. You were supposed to be the Chrysanthemum of Sukuna's collection, and as such you and your handmaidens dressed in shades of pink and yellow. "Must you avoid looking at me?"

Your eyes shot up when he asked that, and you, again, swallowed the lump in your throat. "A-Apologies, Master Sukuna," you said nervously, the sweat beading down your face.

He didn't say anything, instead reaching out to caress your hair, the long, silky locks like butter to his calloused hands. "All this time spent in my estate, and you still act as though you're a little fawn," he bemused, his finger now moving to your face. He ran one sharp, black fingernail across your cheek, now taking in your face. After some more silence, he asked: "do you know why I chose you to be my Chrysanthemum, (Y/N)?"

"N-No, Master Sukuna, but I assume it was for a wonderful reason," you replied shakily.

"Indeed it was," he hummed, not saying anything else. "Your performance skills. I took a liking to them," he said, now touching your chin with his fingernails.

"You did?"

"None of those other sad sacks of meat can play the Biwa nor dance as well as you do," he replied with a grin. "To me, they're just flowers I can put on display in pretty little vases until they wither and die. Now, answer me this: do you know why I chose you to be my Chrysanthemum?"

You looked at him in confusion, wondering why he put emphasis on the flower, and you furrowed your brow. "Unfortunately, I do not, Master Sukuna."

"It's because..." his finger trailed down to your neck, "chrysanthemums last the longest." His eyes suddenly flickered up to yours. "And I plan on keeping you here for a very, very long time."

The rest of that encounter was spent with you playing the Biwa for a couple hours before he ordered you to go to dinner. Not once did he ask you for a sexual favor, not once did he defile you; he simply wanted to listen to your playing the Biwa.

Perhaps Sukuna wasn't as bad as the stories made him out to be... perhaps, perhaps he was more than just a bloodthirsty barbarian.

He certainly looked at you as more than a mere flower for display.

As the months flew by and the seasons changed, and the girls were replaced as they withered and died, you remained the only constant thing in the estate outside of its employees. Even then, some of the servants were executed and disposed of. When one of the chefs cooked your fish incorrectly, Sukuna had him gutted like one.

Speaking of, the special treatment that Sukuna gave you increased in frequency. He was always giving you the best kimonos out of all the other girls, the hairpins that you received were made out of the shiniest jewels and silver, and the way he looked at you made you feel like the brightest flower in all the garden.

In exchange for his treatment, you were expected to play the Biwa for him whenever he was bored. Sometimes it'd be several hours during the day, other times it'd be for merely an hour. Usually, those were the days he spent planning attacks or wartime efforts.

In all these months of special treatment, he never once had sex or demanded that you perform any favors for him. It was merely the playing of the Biwa that he wanted. Sometimes, he'd even have you dance for him and a few of his generals.

"Lord Sukuna, I hear that you've never once had her in your bed," one of his drunken generals said to the warlord. "If it's not too much to ask, would you mind if I?-"

"Uraume, dispose of this man at once," Sukuna commanded of them, and they did as they were told. They hauled the man out of there and chopped off his arms before feeding him to the wolves.

A small smile cracked on your features when he performed that little act of kindness for you.

The other girls, the jealous flowers that they were, took note of your special treatment as well. They knew their places, and they knew that all they were good for was for decoration and getting him off, and the fact that you were Sukuna's precious little chrysanthemum pissed them off to no end.

It was never more than petty little squabbles or snide comments behind your back, and as a result you never paid them any mind.

Why would you when you're the only one who hasn't been executed in all the months you've spent time at the estate?

Whenever you walked by them beside Sukuna, you couldn't help the sly little smirk that etched itself onto your normally calm face. It felt so good to be envied after being pitied for so much time.

The downside of this inflated ego of yours was the resentment that the other girls harbored towards you. If they were to be executed so quickly and disposed of within mere months of their arrival, then they might as well act on their anger, right?

It was after the arrival of the newest concubine that things took a turn for the worse. The latest addition to his floral collection, the Orchid was a girl who hailed from the very city of Tokyo itself. She was dubbed the Queen of Pleasure, rumored to have serviced the Emperor himself on numerous occasions.

Rumor also had it that Sukuna was highly interested in her and her ways of pleasure. The other girls were also quite irritated by all the time he spent fucking her brains out in his quarters, meaning that not only did they have to compete with your skills of entertaining and playing the Biwa, but they also had to compete with her bedroom skills.

But, when it came down to picking someone to hate on, they still picked you.

"Well, at least it's not her getting every ounce of his attention. I mean, all we'd really have to do is play some kind of instrument, and then we'd be able to one-up her."

It seemed as though any concubine who set foot in Sukuna's estate was destined to hate you, and this Orchid girl was no different. She knew that nobody else derived the same sexual satisfaction from your beloved warlord that she did, and she made sure to rub it in your face. She didn't even refer to you by your flower name; she called you Biwa for the instrument that you played for Sukuna!

Still, you never let it get to you. Just because she was good in bed doesn't mean that she'd become his prized flower that easily; if he found a girl who was better at pleasuring him than she was, she'd no doubt be cast aside and executed.

Being seen as the flower you were and not a piece of meat was more important anyway, right?

But you couldn't help but worry when the staff, themselves, began to gossip amongst one another. Rumors fluttered about that she was going to become the heir to Sukuna's children, the one who would help carry on his bloodline.

When you heard that, you almost snapped the neck of your Biwa off. You had to get a replacement ordered ASAP.

But all hope wasn't lost, for the next time you ran into the Orchid was the last time you'd ever see her.

It was when you were delivering a bowl of soup to Uraume's room that you ran into her. Uraume had fallen ill, and you personally took it upon yourself to look after them in exchange for all the things they'd done for you in the past. She was with her servant, and the smirk on her face when she saw you meant trouble.

"Oh? What is this: the pure and chaste Chrysanthemum carrying a tray of food? Don't tell me you've been demoted to maidservant that quickly," she sneered, blocking your path.

"I'm no maidservant, you barbaric whore; I'm merely delivering some food to Uraume. They've fallen ill recently, and I wanted to show my gratitude by bringing this soup to them," you replied, turning your nose to her. "A brainless wonder like you wouldn't know the meaning of gratitude, anyway."

"How dare you speak so nastily towards me! I should have your head on a platter," she sneered, pointing a finger at you. Her servant also sneered in similar fashion, but the glare you gave her was enough to put her in her place. "My, if I didn't know any better, I'd assumed you were some sort of harlot meant to entertain one of the generals just by the way you speak."

"It's because I can't stand you, you village slut. Everyone knows that the only reason you're here is because you had oral sex with the Emperor, and everyone also knows that you did so by slipping sleeping medication into his tea."

She didn't know how to talk back to that, so she merely scrunched her nose in anger and seethed where she stood.

"Now, if you don't mind me, this soup's getting cold, and Uraume doesn't like their food cold."

Just as you were about to walk away from her, you felt a harsh push from behind, sending you toppling onto the ground, the soup flying out of the bowl and getting all over your kimono.

"Awww, oopsie! You must've slipped and fallen, how terrible!" the Orchid said with a sneer.

The look on your face was nothing short of diabolical and full of vitriol. How dare you be pushed around by sad sacks of meat, whores that got by using their bodies as forms of payment. Come to think of it... maybe this could be some sort of present for Sukuna, like a favor. Sure, she was pretty, but there were plenty of pretty girls who were only good for having sex; you were willing to bet that you could go into a pleasure district and find girls prettier than her. All she was known for was fucking the emperor, and if anyone could find their way into his estate, then it would've been easy for them to take advantage of him as well. It's not like she'd last in this damned estate anyway--the Emperor certainly wasn't Sukuna in any likeness.

Sad sacks of meat didn't have brains, nor did they have talent. They were just fresh meat that would turn rotten and wither away while the bugs and the maggots infested it.

"Maybe I should speed up the execution process," you muttered, grabbing the metal tray with enough force to turn your knuckles white. Just as the girl turned around to face you, you lunged at her with the bowl of soup in your hand, hitting her square in the jaw with the harsh porcelain. She was stunned for a second, allowing you to grab a nearby katana from the wall and unsheathe it. You then reached for the girl and grabbed her by the hair & threw her to the ground, your vision going red as you raised the blade above your head.

"All that meat's good for is cutting, isn't it?" You asked before sinking the blade into her chest. Her eyes widened, the blade falling right into the valley of her bosom. You raised it again & again, stabbing her with the katana as if you were a samurai on the battlefield. Again & again & again, you slashed the living shit out of that bitch, her face fading from your vision as you destroyed her body. By the time you were done with her, her jugular had been torn out & her breasts were hanging on by a thread. You could see the broken ribs protruding from how intensely you splintered them with the cold silver.

Out of the corner of your eye, you spotted the girl's servant who was standing there frozen in fear from the whole ordeal. When your serpentine gaze landed on her, she broke into a run, trying to go get help, so you grabbed the katana and drove it back into her skull. You didn't know what possessed you, but you lifted her up by the head, ramming her face into the walls repeatedly until her skull was fractured and her face was demolished beyond all recognition. You then grabbed the katana again and sunk it bck into her spine, paralyzing her, and she coughed up blood the entire time you stabbed her.

"Sacks of meat... like you... don't deserve to be in Lord Sukuna's presence!!" you shouted, stabbing her until her spinal cord severed. Once you were sure that the two were dead, you stepped back, looking at the dead bodies of the two girls. The servant was slaughtered beyond all recognition, the only giveaway being the color of her kimono, and the tarnished appearance of the Orchid was like a scene painted straight from the battlefield. You made a huge mess in the middle of the hallway, but the murderous side of you didn't give a shit.

You wouldn't let anyone, much less worthless meat be around your Sukuna for as long as you stayed in this estate.

But just as quickly as you'd killed the two girls, you heard a chuckle from behind you. You whipped your head around, seeing none other than Sukuna himself standing there with his arms crossed over his bulky chest. He studied the scene for a few seconds, taking in the red stains on your pink kimono, and he found the color rather fitting of you.

Even though he was a man of carnage, you couldn't help but feel the tiniest hint of fear coursing through your veins. You knew the consequences of acting out of line, and a beheading was probably the best course of action. You had just destroyed his property, and the ramifications of this act of hatred and malice would be devastating to you. You might as well have sunk the katana into your chest and bled out onto the floor right about now.

Getting onto your knees and bowing before his feet, you pleaded with him to show mercy. "Forgive me, master, for I have made a huge mess. Allow me to... allow me to fix it. I humbly beg of you."

Sukuna stood there silently for a few seconds, his red eyes studying your bowing form still.

"Why would you fix it when you have servants at your disposal?"

Now this question made your head perk up in shock and confusion. Was he seriously not about to kill you? Why wasn't he yelling, why wasn't he dragging you out by the hair to end your life himself?

"Master, I... I don't understand. I laid a hand on your property, and that's unacceptable-"

"Would you be quiet already?" he asked, making you bow your head again in fear. "I must say, (Y/N), I didn't know you had such an act within that pretty head of yours," he remarked, still looking at the dead bodies. "Perhaps you're not so innocent after all. Rise, (Y/N)."

You did as you were told, raising your head to see him. He crouched down to your level, one of his big hands caressing your blood soaked face and your hair as well.

"Just look at you, a little pink Chrysanthemum stained red by the blood of her foes. Quite a fearsome look, (Y/N)," he hummed, still looking at you. Suddenly, a wide grin spread on his face, one that could only spell both trouble and excitement for you.

He had broken you at long last. After so many months of waiting for you to show your true side, to show that you could stand alongside Sukuna, you had finally shown your true potential. Your innocent, pitiful self had been cracked, and in its place stood a dark, evil thing that he couldn't get enough of.

Maybe now he could finally make you his bride, his queen of the dead & the future matriarch of the Sukuna clan.

"How would you like to be my Spider Lily? It's been a while since I've had one."

I suck at writing Sukuna omfg (I hate his ass regardless) also it's not proofread 🤞 I MIGHTTT do a Choso special but IDK how to write him either

© ʙʀᴜɴᴇᴛᴛᴇ-ʙɪᴛᴄʜ77 on tumblr - get your own shit bitches | ca. 7/18/2024

[adilynnyuri]

I hope this isnt trauma dumping or sm but i just needed to get this out and also get some advice and i think i really like ur advice. So i have been jn a relationship w my bf for 2 years now and i love him with my heart and soul and we plan to get married ( ee are still young but we see that as the futuregoal) so up tntil a few months back i used to just go to random s*x chat groups and something and would share my nudes nd just stuff like that and would also watch p*rn .. these are both things that me and my bf would a 100% consider cheating and if he did this to me i would kill myself out of sorrow. I absolutely hate myself and am disgusted at myself i was distracted for a little while with my exams but now they are over and now im crying all the time again just thinking about what i did to the boy i love the most. At the time i didnt think much of it and at first i would just talk w people but slowly i started sharing nudes and i did this a couple of times until i realized a few months back how wrong it is. I have no idea how i didnt realise how wrong this is?Up until this i was a really good person i dont think ive ever hurt anybody and i am very nice also but now idk i just hate myself and everything about me .Every day whenever i think aboyt this i cant help but cry and think there really isnt anything else i can do. Of course i have changed and wouldnt think of doing such a thing again but still the fact that i did it in the first place makes me want to die.

Ik its so selfish but i cant keeo thinking that he will do sm like this to me also and that ill get my karma. Does karma really even exist and how do i get myself to atop thinking this now i always suspect him of cheating and talking to other girls. Hes done sm similar to cheating to me but nothing on this level. What he did is nothing ckmpared to what i did.

And in the context of manifesting, should i manifest that none of this ever happened and for me to be a really nice person or shoukd i manifest that this completely gets erased from my memory or what?? This also messes up my manifestion so much i cant helo hut tell myself that i dont deserve good things as im a bad person . Please help. If youre not comfortable answering this then im sorry for wasting ur time

Hii love!

BABE CALM DOWN! I UNDERSTAND YOU!!

I totally understand you and your situation but I am here to help you and to remind you THAT YOU DIDN'T AND WILL NEVER DO ANY MISTAKES!

First of all, WHATEVER HAPPENS REMEMBER!

Don't EVER LOSE HOPE!! YOU ARE THE ONE WHO'S CREATING BOTH GOOD/BAD SITUATIONS THAT'S HAPPENING RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOUR EYES!!

You are the MAIN CHARACTER! YOU NEVER FACE ANY PROBLEMS!!

And imo Idgaf to karma. I don't even consider it's real. BUT I WILL USE IT TO MY ADVANTAGE BY AFFIRMING THAT WHOEVER TRIES TO HARM ME IN ANY WAYS THEY WILL COMPLETELY FACE THE WORST.

I understand that you feel guilty about your activities! But! NEVER LET IT TAKE CONTROL OVER YOU! AND DON'T THINK YOU ARE BAD PERSON OR SOMETHING!!

You are limitless and you can do anything!

Until you don't hurt anyone in the name of manifestation, YOU ARE NEVER A BAD PERSON OR DOING ANY BAD!

⭐I will give you an example from my life!

My success in revising an embarrassing situation!

Once I did something very embarrassing like so embarrassing I just wanted to k!ll myself💀 but then I thought why should I do that to myself? I was born in this world to be happy and cherished 24/7! so I just affirmed robotically that NOTHING BAD HAPPENED AND I TOTALLY FORGOT ABOUT THAT AND MY DP WHO WITNESSED THAT FORGETS IT TOO! (It was very tough for me too! The shit which I did kept popping up in my mind, BUT I DIDN'T GIVE MUCH ATTENTION TO THAT AND KEPT AFFIRMING!)

Well it just took me 1 day! One full day of robotic affirmations! LITERALLY THE VERY NEXT DAY EVEN I FORGOT AND MY DP TOTALLY FORGOT!! I WAS SO SO HAPPY!

Suggestion for you! 💕

I know it's so tough for you to affirm totally against of what happened, but trust me! JUST AFFIRM! YOU ARE SO POWERFUL LOVE! JUST REVISE SAYING,

"I never did anything bad and I am never guilty"

I AM BEING 1000000% SURE WHATEVER YOU WANT WILL HAPPEN. WHATEVER YOU WANTED TO CHANGE, WILL CHANGE! MORE LIKE, IT HAS ALREADY CHANGED !!

With lots of love,

ADILYNN YURI🤍🌷

[anyalovesu]

hi!! i just wanted to say i loved your jungwon fic did you like her in the morning its so good! esp cause i love niki too like you literally had me crying at midnight. i was wondering if you had any plans on a part 2? you dont have to but i kinda had an idea of making it based on the song paths by niki and it will be in jungwons pov? maybe the reader became a famous figure skater and maybe an olympian and jungwon watches her from the screen thinking of what could’ve been. like maybe ae-cha and won’s relationship didn’t end well and jungwon regrets everything but hes so late. you can choose between a happy ending or not but this is just an idea! thank you sm again cause i really needed a cry

𝓟aths

—Wherein Jungwon's and Y/N's paths cross again in a common friend’s wedding.

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genre : angst ; hurt/comfort ( ??? )

pairings : jungwon x ex!reader ; sunghoon x fiancee!reader

wc : 2k+ words

cw :

☾₊‧⁺˖⋆ oc(s) is mentioned ( ae-cha and miyeong )

☾₊‧⁺˖⋆ non-idol!au ; gamedev!jungwon , olympic figureskater!reader

☾₊‧⁺˖⋆ jungwon is still slightly an ass , but he gets over it and gets his shit together

☾₊‧⁺˖⋆ y/n is still weirdly very nice for her own good

☾₊‧⁺˖⋆ ( ft. ning ning from aespa , riwoo from bnd ; heeseung & jake from en- )

☾₊‧⁺˖⋆ not proofread ( yet )

song : paths - niki ( buzz , 2024 )

part 1 : here

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The sound of his mechanical keyboard clicking filled their office as he groaned in frustration trying to figure out what went wrong with the game they were developing. It wasn’t much help that almost everyone in their department was yapping about the Winter Olympics and how the country’s figure skating pair representatives came from the same university as their game development head. 

Jungwon was fully aware of your endeavors, you won several national titles with Sunghoon in the past year and it was no secret to anyone that your chemistry has evolved your partnership into a beautiful relationship. You were the country’s favorite couple at the moment, you and Sunghoon were on the news everywhere when you both were announced to be selected to compete for the Winter Olympics in Italy.

Of course, Jungwon was happy for you. As he should. You did nothing to stand in his way of his success. If anything, you have always been supportive of his game development dream—there was even a point in time where you’d stay up all night, looking for the best companies he could bag a great internship program for. But it was rendered short lived after he made his decisions. 

Him and Ae-cha managed to stay together for the next two years of their lives after what happened. After graduating, they went and bought a house together and even got engaged at some point. Jungwon was on top of the world and over the moon when all of those things laid themselves before his eyes… but life happened.

Things didn’t work out too well for the both of them with Jungwon being absorbed into this project, and Ae-cha being too busy with her community service as she began to work her way into competing for the Miss Universe title which then started to take a toll on their relationship, as Ae-cha is determined to win her title first before getting married. They used to fight so much about not having time and not being able to give their part of the relationship anymore—maybe that comes along with the fact that they have drifted far apart while they chased for the dreams that they were well aware that the other had. But one time, the fight got so bad that the both of them came into the point of questioning whether it was still right to stay in that horrid situation. They were as bad as being broken up anyway with the both of them barely seeing each other because of how busy they got. 

It wasn’t like they didn’t notice that they were drifting far apart from each other. They knew. They most definitely knew. But were they strong enough to face the truth that their relationship that came at the cost of someone else’s peace was going to waste? Were they brave enough to accept that after you forgave the both of them for breaking your heart, they were going to break each other’s next? No.

So for the love of everything good, they tried to make it work.

“Oh my God! They won!” Riwoo jumps from his seat, raising his phone proudly showing everyone the competition live stream, as if he was the one who won the title. “Gold! Jungwon! Your schoolmate won gold with Park Sunghoon!”

Jungwon decided to pick up his phone and check his social media accounts to see how the competition turned out. And there it was,

Milano-Cortina 2026: Park Sunghoon, Y/N L/N Receives Gold Medals in Artistic Pairs Figure Skating.

He couldn’t help but feel a sense of pride that you have finally reached your ultimate dream of competing in the Olympics and won gold for that matter. He knew you’ve always been passionate about skating, it just wasn’t something he was interested in back then. Even so, he was busy supporting Ae-cha to realize that he’s neglected you in the process. He has been unfair. He has been cruel to you and up until now that he and Ae-cha have gone their separate ways, the guilt still keeps him awake at night, like a monster in his closet when he was a kid waiting until all the nightlights are turned off before it jumps and mauls him.

It feels unfair and delusional of him to feel the need to reconnect, especially when she’s asked to never show his face to her again when the both of you last spoke, which was the day he picked up his belongings from your apartment. Either way, you were happy with Sunghoon and even after everything that happened, he still loved Ae-cha very much. Every insecurity about Ae-cha that you confessed two years ago is coming back to bite him in the ass because everytime he looks at Sunghoon, he just knows… that Sunghoon is everything he will never be.

“Holy shit, man! Park Sunghoon is proposing!”  Ning Ning rises in glee coming over to Riwoo to hit his arm repeatedly out of excitement. “Holy shit that is so cute!”

“Did she say yes?” Jungwon blurted out, making everyone’s eyes turn to him, suddenly curious as to why all of a sudden Jungwon was interested in what was going on in the competition. 

Of course they didn’t know you were Jungwon’s ex-girlfriend. None of them went to the same university so, without a doubt they would not know if he didn't bring it up. Plus, not letting them know would be for the best, as it could possibly taint Ae-cha’s rapidly rising career. It was for the better that they didn’t know. You guys agreed to keep your relationship private when you were together anyway, so it was no big deal that it remained private even when you guys broke up. 

“Of course, Y/N said yes!” Ning ning chimes at him. “They’ve been so in love since they were like competing against each other!”

Wrong. You loved Jungwon first. Before there was Sunghoon, Jungwon loved you first. He was there before him. Which was a stupid thing to think about because technically, Sunghoon was there before him. Sunghoon, albeit only being seen by you as a competitor or a partner, only exclusively saw you as a friend and you, the same for him.

Not that it still matters though. He fumbled and Sunghoon was there to make sure he wouldn’t make the same mistake as Jungwon did. So there he was on international TV, proposing to the love of his life, after they both just reached their dreams of winning the Olympics. 

“Good for them,” he lied. 

He could’ve had that. As enraging as it sounds, he once dreamed of marrying you too. He once imagined living in a house with tall fences and having dogs and a kid probably. However, as life happened, he began to see that world more clearly with Ae-cha. Now apparently, life happens in the most mysterious and fucked up ways, because everything fell apart and he lost Ae-cha in the process of it. 

Real love was an active thing to do and along with making good decisions, Jungwon has failed to do it. It wasn’t as easy as relaxing and sleeping next to them—it’s a constant thing to do that you continue feeling even when you get tired or even when you’re going through your lonely nights. 

Jungwon gets it now. And while he still has Ae-cha’s name written all over his heart,  it’s already too late.

Even Ae-cha has made her peace with all of these. And he should actively strive to do that too.

So, when Jungwon receives an email inviting him to a common friend’s wedding, he contemplates whether he has the stomach to be there even if the groom was his friend after finding out that you were going to be the bride’s maid of honor.

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

It confused Jungwon as to why he didn’t feel uncomfortable in the presence of both his ex-girlfriend and his ex-fiancee in the same room as him. Maybe it really comes to a point where if most of the people involved have already had their peace with what happened, it doesn’t feel that hard to deal with anymore. 

“Jungwon!” It surprised him that Sunghoon was the first one to greet him. He had this light aura to him, Jungwon didn’t feel judged that he even showed up after everything that happened. Even you and Ae-cha were speaking. You seemed to be having a wonderful conversation with the bride as you guys danced with the bride on the dance floor.

“Hey man,” Jake, the groom, smiled at him, patting him on the back.

Two years have gone and past, and seeing all these, most of their college friends being around enjoying the night made him realize that he was the only one left to not accept how things happened—the only one left to not have peace with what was already in the past. He was bitter, even though he absolutely had no right to because he was the one making his problems in the first place. 

“I heard about the game,” Heeseung asks him, seemingly interested. “How’s that going?”

“Well,” he replies, completely avoiding looking behind him where the girls were having the time of their lives. “Still has a few more months before we send it out to some for beta testing. Congratulations on the wedding, Jake, by the way.”

“Miyeong and Y/N have been stressing about it for months now,” Jake chuckled at him, glancing at his wife fondly as she laughed, holding on to Y/N for support. “They were really trying to sort everything out before Y/N goes to compete in Italy.”

“Congrats on that too,” he turns to pat Sunghoon’s back “And your engagement.”

“Thanks man,” Sunghoon grinned at him. 

Jungwon could not feel but be left out. Most of the people around here have accomplished so much in two years since graduating, may it be in their home lives or their careers. While here he is, dwelling on the bitterness of him being stuck in his game development project that’s progressing slower than he expected, after him and Ae-cha called the wedding off. He couldn’t help but feel insecure.

“What happened to you and Ae-cha anyway?” Heeseung blurts out. “You were going so well.”

‘Doing so well’ was such a big fat lie. Everything was crumbling behind that facade and they had to keep it that way for Ae-cha’s image. 

“Ae-cha realized she doesn’t want to get married until she’s won her title,” he explained calmly. “We’re fine though. We’re still friends.”

“I’m sorry man,” and there it goes.

He didn’t want their conversation to turn into a mini pity party for him. They’re supposed to be celebrating the union of two important people in their lives that are too disgustingly in love with each other—not pitying him for his failed love life. He manages to excuse himself to get some fresh air and enjoy some silence after all the small talk he had to do with a bunch of acquaintances that he met during the reception.

On the other hand, you spot him sitting alone outside. You contemplated at first whether you should approach him or just leave him be. After all, you didn’t want to stir the pot and cause trouble over something that has already been peaceful for years now. 

“It would mean a lot if you could explain to him that you meant your forgiveness,” Ae-cha hummed next to her. “If that’s okay with you.”

Minutes ago, you found out about the called off engagement along with the whys and hows of the way things played out. As much as you hated to admit it, even from afar, you had caused the both of them to feel guilty for how you left things. Despite Ae-cha explaining that it was completely on them, you knew deep inside that Jungwon took it to heart that you never wanted to see him anymore. And yes, maybe at the time you said it, you really meant it to the bottom of your heart. You were desperate to find comfort and peace as soon as possible after it happened before your eyes. You did what you have to do and you’re glad that you did. But now that you’re older and wiser, you suppose it shouldn’t hurt to help someone find peace in it too, right?

“That's okay with you?” you glance up t Sunghoon’s tall figure now standing behind you.

“Doll, I already have our last names engraved on that ring on your finger,” he chuckled, always so confident, “I’m fine with it. I trust you, jagi.”

“Alright, let me get a drink first.”

You walked right up to him, with two glasses of Manhattan cocktail in your hand and settled next to him. 

“You should be inside there getting wasted with your brothers,” you chuckled at him, handing him the drink. “Moping around here isn’t going to give you the peace that you’re looking for.”

“I thought time would give me that peace,” he mumbled honestly. “Lousy motherfucker never gave me anything.”

“Sorry,” you blurted out. “I shut you and Ae-cha out of my life as soon as I could.”

“You were hurt,” he replied. “You had every right to do that.”

“I’m sorry because it affected you more than I thought it would. I didn’t say I regret doing it,” you laughed lightly, looking up at the clear sky, though the stars were blurry from all the light pollution coming from the hotel’s ballroom. “Leaving things behind sometimes gives you more comfort than you think it would.”

“Cha and I hurt you so much, Y/N. How can you just forgive that?”

“Well I’m not hurt about it anymore, Jungwon,” you sigh heavily. “I’m okay. You should be okay with it too because if not, you’d be dwelling over nothing and that’s going to hurt you more in the long run. It’s all in the past, Won. You still have the future to write however the fuck you want.”

“Why are you doing this?”

“Because the sooner you accept how things turned out the easier it will be for you. And it has been two years, Jungwon. I’m okay now. I’m getting married. I’ve forgiven you and Ae-cha a very long time ago. It’s about time you forgive yourself too.” Your voice was soft and understanding. For the record, it has always been like that. The only time he ever heard you raise your voice was the last time you guys spoke and it broke his heart to realize that he had caused that. “You’re never going to learn how to love Ae-cha unless you let go of what’s already said and done. You can do better. You can be a better person. The mistakes that you made when you didn’t know better doesn’t have to be who you are for the rest of your life.”

“It’s too late,” he replied, remembering that even if he does end up forgiving himself, Ae-cha has already called off the wedding.

“Ae-cha is literally just waiting for you to get your shit together, you dumbass,” you snort. If he wasn’t certain whether you were intoxicated a while ago, he’s sure as hell that you are now. “It’s hurting Ae-cha to see you dwell on it for so long that she had to step back for the meantime. Why else would she have agreed to your proposal if she didn’t want to marry you? For as far as I know she only said she didn’t want to get married until she got her Miss Universe title—which I’m sure as hell with your woman’s incredible brain and beauty, she will get as soon as she steps in that stage. She never said she didn’t want to marry you! She wants to be with you even when you’re a complete fucking airhead and could not take context clues for the life of you.”

“I’m still here,”  he replies. “I never left.”

“Which is the fucking problem, Yang Jungwon,” she rolled her eyes. “Get your ass up and get your girl back because I did not just leave my dapper, handsome, wonderful, great of a fuck, Olympic gold medalist soon-to-be husband just for you to sit here and act like a kicked puppy. Chug that shit down and get Ae-cha back you blithering idiot.”

The playful harshness in your tone managed to get through his lonely facade and made him laugh. He chugs Manhattan down and looks back at you.

“I’m glad our paths crossed again, Y/N.”

“That, I am glad for too,” you smile at him putting up your fist as he does the same to bump it with you. “Ae-cha deserves better. You can be a better person for Ae-cha, Jungwon.”

“Thank you, Y/N.”

“Thank you, Jungwon.”

—end.

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

masterlist

a/n : i could not stop myself from writing this right away :') i enjoyed buzz so much and paths is another one of my favorites ( + heirloom pain lol ) i hope anon does not mind that i changed the plot a little bit hehe i tried to stick to it a as much as i could <3

( i'd appreciate your feedback and notes sm ! you can leave a note here or send it ur feedback here if you'd like ! )

thank u !

xo, anya ୨୧

[saturnicos]

can i have a headcanon for lucifer morningstar with elder sister! reader? I am just in desperate need for family stuff. Like elder sister! reader is nto weak and as powerful as lucifer (maybe a tiny bit stronger since th eboth of them are archangel).

Like elder sister!reader decided to follow her younger brother lucifer to hell by becoming a fallen angel too because she is very worried for him. (even knowing the punishment are brutal and harsh but she does not care) I would love if you make the dynamic between the two where reader is the more sterner, fiercer and scary one (like maybe she used to be a commander of an angel army before) and then lucifer is just a little guy who loves ducks (he can beat ass too lol) thanks for reading and i will appreciate a lot if you start writing my ideas! take care!

Of course!! I like sm that type of dynamic despite not have worked a lot with it

I'm not very used to writing family headcanons, so I'm sorry if this does not correspond to what you would like (I'm also finishing this sick, so maybe I messed some things up), feel free to order again if you wish! <3

—

Lucifer with an elder sister !reader before the fall

Ps:: female pronouns used and platonic reading

You both are created almost the same time, only a few years of difference, since they wanted to keep a visual representation of a man and a woman in the heaven, like an example of family and brotherhood.

Despite the same creation, you both are extremely different. Lucifer was a lively dreamer, wanting to expand his ideas and dreams in the creation. You, by other side, have seen yourself in other dynamic of power, joining in the heaven's army, being the leader of army in no much time.

As being the commander, you've to base your personality in a more cold and recluse on, thinking about the success and progress of the angelic army corporation, taking the stance of a leader.

However, this doesn't make Lucifer have bad impressions about you. On the contrary, he actually were so happy for you and was ever talking of how much well you was going with your job. He had ever supported your dreams and desires, since was something that he ever appreciated. And, of course, from time to time he came to you with some ideas to you implement in the army, since were about the training or the cloths.

One day, Lucifer looked more happy than usual, what was particularly strange due to frequent oppression by elders.

He told you that he had meet the first human woman, Lilith, in the Garden of Eden after that she leaves Adam.

You saw he was talking about she in a lovely way every day, praising she every time; he was clearly and totally in love with she and, by what he said, looks like that's mutual.

You were so much happy for him, of course. See your younger brother happy after all the oppression and limitations that the heaven imposed on him was a good feeling; see his happiness was something that filled your heart with hope and compassion.

Even in a place so unfair with him dreams, he was so happy with someone who seems to like him so much mutually. Deep down, your greatest joy was seeing your brother happy.

This, however, was until a certain point. A few weeks after, Lucifer started to talk a lot about free will and how the humanity could use it. He, actually, ever liked the concept of free will, but in the lasts times that was a subject much more frequently between your conversations.

When you asked him why that suddenly become a current subject, he just said that it was pure curiosity since it was something debated in the angelic council last week. Mostly you felt it wasn't a pure truth, just nodded in acceptance.

A few days later, you saw a commotion in the angels' cabinet. As leader of army of angels, Sera quickly contacted you, asking for your presence at the next meeting.

On the appointed day, you attended the assembly, which was particularly fuller than you had imagined. You, indeed, were not often called to the council of angels, so there wasn't much certainty as to how many members usually showed up, but it definitely felt busier and more commotion than meetings in general.

Passing through the council entrance, you were assigned to one of the high benches, close to the high heavenly echelon, which consisted more of Sera, although the presence of God was also there.

Confused, you asked Sera the reason for being summoned to the council since everything was going well with the army and freedom in heaven in recent times.

It was then that you saw Lucifer enter the council, sitting in the stands of indicted. Before you could question him, a golden document was conjured in front of you, which you quickly picked it up and read it.

Incredulous would be the best word to describe his emotions. The document named Lucifer as a criminal who had induced Eve to eat the forbidden fruit and spread free will on Earth, opening evils.

You looked dumbfounded at Sera, who was looking at you with regret and pity. The document proposed the expulsion of both Lilith and Lucifer to a new concept of place - the hell. A place for those who committed sins were doomed to horror, both of them being its first residents.

From above your bleachers, you looked at Lucifer who was showing an expression of indifference towards the advice, despite that you could very well see a spark of concern emerging on his face.

Sera was ready to hit the hammer and announce their definitive expulsion from paradise, collecting the document that floated in front of him and soon dissolved into light.

Light. You thought. Light, that's what Lucifer was. Even though he was prevented from implementing his ideas and dreams, even the most innovative and incredible in all creation, he was still light in your life. Even though he was tried as a criminal before the court, he was still light for you, after all, he was your brother forever, the most important person in your life, the source of light that held you together.

You jumped out of your stand, flying in front of Sera, shouting insults and questioning why Lucifer always had his ideas oppressed, arguing that he would never have encouraged Eve if heaven had given his ideas a chance.

You looked at Lucifer. He looked back at you, dumbfounded and with slightly widened eyes. From lip-reading, you could tell he was trying to whisper a few things like "no" and "why..?", but the growing anger in your head made it a complicated activity.

Sera watched as you slowly descended to your brother, standing still and firm next to him. She conjured the document again, using a feather pen to add some extra paragraph; the advice was taken in quick murmurs, those who angels feared you and your authority, now they had an expression of growing disgust and hatred as they looked at you.

When Sera finished, she made the document disappear into light again, standing up from the grandstand and flying in the center of the assembly. The murmurs quickly stopped, the angels now paying attention to what she had to say.

She began to talk about the accusations of crimes that Lucifer committed in the Garden of Eden and the consequences of his actions that generated evils and triggered diseases on Earth. She ended up with the penalty he and Lilith would receive - expulsion from heaven. However, there was an addendum: you were also sentenced to expulsion, accused of being an accomplice and justifying an unforgivable criminal act.

Lucifer looked at you with a bitter taste for being the reason for your expulsion from paradise to a completely unknown location. You, however, just held his hand and squeezed it lightly, saying you didn't care about any consequences as long as you managed to defend his ideals and be close to him. After all, he was your brother, and you would do anything for him.

You could see his eyes slightly teary when he let go of your hand and pulled you into a hug to which you reciprocated, closing your eyes heavily as you felt the feeling of falling into the void, without knowing what the place you would go would be like, but the feeling of having the person who cares most around you, as safe as possible, it already made the fall more acceptable and tolerable.

You didn't regret defending your brother at all, and would never think of going back on your decision. Things may not be better than before being in hell, but you will adapt like a family, happy to be able to see your brother and Lilith well.

I'm not very used to writing family headcanons, but I hope it was an enjoyable read! Anyway, thank you very much for reading.

[cherie-doll]

I was supposed to send this on Halloween, but I got lazy, so happy late (very late) Halloween 🎃

Another arranged marriage thing, but for Horangi (kittyyyyyy), specifically, Invoker!Horangi (I love that skin sm)

You see, he was making a deal with a demon, and he has already prepared whatever the demon requires back for the deal. His soul ? He's ready, someone's lives ? He already prepared the weapons, maybe chosen the target if needed

"Marry my daughter"

?

What the fuck ? What the hell ? What in the world ? He was NOT prepared for an arranged marriage. It's not like he'd refuse that, he is just surprised

It turns out the demon's daughter is a demon, who, is heavily interested in humans, she even morphed her forms to look a little more human-like, "father/mother I want a human"

Bonus: I think a demon being interested in humans is the equivalent of us being interested in creatures that are normally viewed as "scary" "ugly" like sharks, bugs, snakes, etc.

Yesss, I love the Dark Rituals set, also rlly love this idea and appreciate the time you took to type it all out

Invoker!Horangi x Demon!Reader AU

Horangi was a long time devotee to the demon he'd been in contact with, he was used to their demands of sacrifices, meeting every expectation, he's very zealous of his adoration, never denying nor refusing the one he served, and as a result, every aspect of his life was mostly controlled

He knew that once he opened the door and welcomed the spirits in it was irreversible so there was no option to refuse his obligation, it was just unusual, he grew up listening to stories of people selling their souls, now damned and eternally bound to whoever took them, but he hadn't expected to marry the offspring of a demon

You had of recently taken an interest in humanity, you'd begun noticing their way of life and your curiosity was similar to that of a human's interest in the supernatural

To obtain mastery over your abilities you need a human to pass the threshold

So when you were wed to Horangi, you were more than excited to agree, and to think you were getting your very own human! All yours!

You were used to getting your way all the time, controlling, but in the world of humans, your powers were somewhat tame

You have attempted to take human form without much success, there were boundaries and things you couldn't do without being having a mediator as a way of accessing the other world, for the meanwhile your powers were limited until you improved

To have a body you could either possess a human with a weakened mind or take a body from the cemetery, you didn't want to take advantage of a poor person :( and you didn't want to disgrace and rob the grave of a person already passed, who knew in what state their body was in

So for the time being, you spent many hours morphing and altering your voice, eyes and mannerisms to appear more human-like

Throughout all this, he observed you with a curiosity of his own, he couldn't leave you alone for long periods of time during the day or else you could get into trouble, you couldn't go anywhere without him, you attached yourself to him and followed him everywhere

You kept him up at night, pestering him with questions and interrupting his sleep, Horangi had looked forward to the marriage and finally getting a partner, but it was different from what he envisioned

Mediums who would watch Horangi walk past when you followed him could sense your presence, often shouting to him and pointing there fingers to you behind him, warning him of an evil, but that's just his demon wife :(

He would get rather defense though when they tried convincing him they could get you to move on and leave him alone ;) like no he's just fine living with a clingy demon

He quite literally shows you his world, how he lives life, and you observe it all from over his shoulder, he starts getting used to your weight on his back, feeling as if he's missing something when you don't go out with him

His voice softens, less harsh when answering your questions and gentle when teaching you things, and he even reads up on ways to help you obtain your physical body permanently, for now, he's getting used to your apparition only he can see

[lovebvni]

holaaa!! (dr rant + just an appreciation post)

(TW SLIGHT HINT TO GROOMING)

soo i’m shifting soon and i decided that im going to make my first album when i get there (LIKE START JT, DUDE. START IT. IM SO EXCITED) there’s going to b an ep i’m going to finalize when i get there and it will be released on the 26th of the month i get there (as it is kinda a diss on a MAN who was 26 when we dated… i was a minor still.)

i’m also gonna make a family tree because i’m really bored (and i also kinda js wanna see all my siblings yk? im gonna draw them all soon bc like AUGH AJAJDKDJ I MISS THEM!!!)

omgz i’m so excited dude!!

(appreciation below!!)

also i saw billie eilish in my dream last night. one of the funniest and sweetest people i know 😭 SHARK WAS ALSO IN THAT DREAM HES SO SWEET ‼️‼️ god i wish i could hug them today, just right now. yall don’t understand how much billie and finneas have been through together, and im so proud of how far they made it. i love you both, and although you won’t see this post in this reality, i know you will when we r together :DDD u guys make me so happy, so inspired, and just a better person overall. also huge thank you to billie in helping me with directing my music videos and being featured in one of my favorite songs — ripple effect. thank you finneas for just 😭 for keeping her alive, giving her a passion, and being so protective and supportive of her.

i’m so excited to b friends w both of them n js talk to them daily — it’s so fun.

i’m also super duper excited to meet one of my closest friends — nile — in person finally!!!! it’s been like 3 years of shifting together, and i know she’s excited too. i know she’s reading this, btw so i love u sm nile and thank u for being such a great and perfect friend throughout this whole journey. i truly don’t think i would still be kicking without you. i owe you the world, and i know you’re going to be blessed with many MANY things in the coming months, and the years following will be some of your best, but that’s only a taste of what is truly to come.

i’m so proud of you, and i’m also so round of everyone that has been clinging onto shifting even though it hurts. i’m always here for you. i love you all so so much. i want the best for you, and i know you’re going to get it. i’m always here to help in ANY way i can. ask me anything, i promise you i will answer with the wisdom God and the universe has given me!!

i cannot express my gratitude to my father, loki, enough. i don’t know how to even put it into words. he’s been there at my hardest, he’s been there at my best. i don’t think i would actually even be this far without him either. he’s one of the silliest and sweetest people ive ever met. i can’t believe he’s my FATHER you guys!! ITS SO COOL AUGHH

i also have so many people here i need to thank, there’s more that i can think of right now but just know i love and appreciate every one of you guys.

staring with @smellofemale!! you were such a sign when i met you. i don’t think i’ve met a christian shifter — you’re the only one i still talk to if i have! im just so so sooo blessed to have met you. i don’t know what to say, dude! i love you so much. you’re so sweet, so kind, and so inspiring. i love you!

@eneablack although you’re one of my newest friends, you’re another really really inspirational one. you’re so open about your struggles with shifting, even though you’ve had success time and time again. it shows me and many others how shifting sometimes is a hard thing to get used too, even with successes under your belt!

@daisys-reality! if you don’t know them, FOLLOW IMMEDIATELY PLEASE OMGGJAJSN she gives some of the best and most accurate readings i could ever ask for. also her drs (specifically her mermaid one) have inspired me so much!!

@kanachaka UR AO COOL BRO I JS LOVE SEEING UR POSTS AJSJDKDJD

@kazylynn i love u sm!! u rlly show me i can be an inspiration to others, and that’s something i’ve hoped for all my life. i want to be a good, helpful person — and i love you for showing me i can be.

@babybearthepsychic a few months ago you gave me a free reading that was just so accurate and so real. i don’t know if i would still be on this spiritual journey without it, because i was at one of my hardest points then. i cannot believe how just truly accurate and kind you are. i love you so much, you’re doing amazing. i wish i could give you the biggest hug, and i could donate like a million dollars to u rn but i literally don’t have a job 😭

@zipperrants i don’t think i rlly need to explain this… dude i thought u we’re so cool even when u we’re js interacting with @maddies-chronicles and i rlly wanted to interact w u so bad but i was so so scared bro!! and thank u hale for giving me the opportunity to meet them!!

@accidentalshifter YOU DONT UNDERSTAND HOW MANY PEOPLE U REPRESENT IN THIS RESLITY — YOURE ONE OF THE FIRSR ADULT SHIFTERS I SAW ON HERR AND IM SO SO SO SO SOOO FUCKING HQPPY YOURE SO OPEN ABOUT IT! you’re just so free and it’s beautiful. i love you so much

and there are so many more but i just.. im gonna cry i love you all tooo much.. please know u all mean so much to me and i can’t wait to tell u so many stories when i get back, and help u guys shift. i am working so hard to post more, and i pray this post can help me become more active.

so so so much love, to everyone in this community, you’re so wonderful. may the gods bless you.

so much love, peace and joy

the abyss

[bbobpul]

break my heart again 2 — njm

PAIRING. na jaemin x reader SUMMARY.how's jaemin gonna give back for all of y/n's efforts now that he finally can? it's been years—just how much has everything changed? GENRE. angst, fluff, she fell first 🤭 W/C. 3.5k NOTE. hello, part two is here! so sorry i couldn't make a taglist. i didn't have time to make one. nevertheless, i hope this fic make its way back to you. love u all and thankies sm !!!! also, my requests are open !!!

(⁠☉⁠｡⁠☉⁠)⁠!⁠→ my other works !!!!!! part one here!!

i find it hard to picture myself ever being as dedicated to something or someone again, just like how i dedicated my entire college life to na jaemin.

lately, i've been feeling like i forgot what it's like to actually have a dream. back then, na jaemin was my dream, he was my driving force. i would force myself to wake up so early in the morning just so i could see him (or his car) enter the gates of the university. i would go to school even though i am sick and feel a lot better when i get home because i saw na jaemin. but now two years after graduating, i still haven't found a decent job that i actually enjoy.

it's a common experience that many people go through, and i suppose i shouldn't complain about it. maybe i need to put in more effort and push myself harder. part of me wonders if having na jaemin back in my life would rekindle that same sense of dedication that i once had. but as i say these thoughts out loud, they sound absurd, even to myself. why would i wish for my first love to return just so i could find a decent job? why would i long for na jaemin to come back merely to feel that spark in my life again? it's puzzling why i'm even dwelling on thoughts of him and wondering if he holds the key to my happiness and success.

oh, to dream.

oh, for that old dedication to still burn within you.

if only you hadn't acted so dumb that day. could life have taken a different path? are you even happy now? if you hadn't let fear hold you back back then, if you'd actually been brave enough to listen and follow through, would you be happier today?

but no matter how much you keep bothering yourself with that memory, if people come up to you and ask if you feel bad about everything that happened that day, you'd say no. you don't feel bad at all.

deciding to let him go was one of the best things you did. he seemed happy when you left, and after that, you never heard anything about him. he's like a touchy subject in your group of friends, which can be tough sometimes since you share friends. but does it really matter now? him not being in your life probably means he's happier and more peaceful, right?

are you feeling peaceful? is being stuck in a 9-5 job that hardly brought you joy a happy situation? scratch that. did being in that job make you happy? clearly not, as you've just mustered the bravery to quit. and in doing so, you've never felt more joyful.

did you really make the right decision?

just as you were pondering your own question, your phone buzzed on the bedside table. you grabbed it and saw that the caller was renjun, your incredibly patient best friend.

"y/n," he said, his tone becoming unusually serious. "what's up?" you asked. "do you need money?" "yeah?" "here's the deal: our college is putting together a documentary film, and they've chosen your department. but guess what? your old classmates are bombarding me with messages because it looks like you're ignoring them all. frankly, i can't believe you even answered my call," he griped. "wait, hold on. what film? and why would they pick me? are they searching for someone with a post-college life so sad that it belongs in a documentary?" "well, you were practically a legend back in college, so… and apparently, the director specifically wants you, which leads to… well, another issue…" "what's the problem now?" "it's going to be directed by jaemin."

and just like that, you ended the call. but a few seconds later, renjun's call came in again.

"i'm not going to do it." "you stubborn brat." "why him?" "i have no idea!" "why is he even directing? wasn't he studying architecture or something?" "i don't know, y/n. i haven't heard a single thing about him since your graduation." "what do you mean?" "that's not important now, y/n. you're in need of money, right? seize the opportunity. do it for the cash." “so will you do it or will you do it?” “for the cash.”

...

"y/n, you've moved on, haven't you? what's done is done. i'm pretty sure jaemin has forgotten all about it. this chance is coming your way, so just accept it." "i guess i will."

you're drawn in by the idea of making some extra money and the possibility of catching the eye of potential agents or employers. right now, you're at a crossroads, thinking about how this documentary could be a stepping stone to more job opportunities down the line. this situation is different from what usually drives you – this time, it's not about others, it's about focusing on your own goals and aspirations.

you're deliberately avoiding dwelling on your past. just as renjun mentioned, you've moved beyond it. what's done is done. right now, your focus is firmly on the present and the potential that lies ahead in the future.

what's in the past is behind us, including whatever existed between jaemin and you.

from renjun

tomorrow at lunchtime, they'll be going over the schedules and discussing what to film. if you want, you can chat with the director now. his number is 0825 813 2000.

in response, you simply replied with a "okay."

the night before the lunch meeting, a jumble of emotions has you in its grip. the idea of reconnecting with jaemin, who used to be your best friend and is now someone distant, fills you with a sense of awkwardness. you tell yourself that this is about working together and the chance to grow professionally.

after taking a deep breath, you decide to shoot jaemin a text. your fingers hesitate as you type, and the uncertainty you're feeling seems to seep into your message. you finally press send, and your text reads, "hey, it's y/n. heard we're meeting tomorrow for the documentary. just wanted to check in before that."

in almost no time, your phone buzzes with a response: "hey y/n, good to hear from you. yeah, looking forward to our meeting. let's catch up and chat about the project."

the conversation is polite, but beneath the surface, there's an unspoken layer of complexity. you can feel the hesitation in your exchange, a silent recognition of the shared history that's now a distant memory. as you talk about the meeting and the documentary, the easy flow you once had is noticeably absent.

as the texts go back and forth, a sense of tension seems to hang in the air. it's as though the years of friendship you once had are casting a shadow over your conversation. the effortless connection you once shared now requires effort, and both of you can sense the change.

as the conversation wraps up with a simple "see you tomorrow," you're left with a mix of excitement and anxiety. the idea of seeing jaemin again, especially in a professional context, stirs up a range of emotions. this situation is a stark reminder of just how much things have changed – and maybe how some things can't go back to the way they were.

you believed the conversation had concluded, only for your phone to ring once more, bearing yet another message from him. as you read the words on the screen, "i missed you, y/n," a rush of emotions floods over you.

"what's going on with him?" you mutter to yourself, your eyebrows knitting together in confusion. your gaze remains fixed on the message for a moment, your attention drawn to the three blinking dots in the corner – a sign that he's in the process of typing a response. several more seconds tick by, the dots eventually vanishing, and in response, you shut your phone off. you make an attempt to settle into bed and get some rest, but truth be told, it's hard to claim you managed to sleep soundly that night. an undercurrent of thoughts and emotions keeps your mind restless.

the day of lunch lunch finally arrived. you sat across from jaemin, his words forming a distant hum as your thoughts remained clouded and preoccupied. the lingering impact of his recent message kept you in a state of unease, making it difficult to fully engage in the conversation he was leading.

then, something inside you snapped, and you found yourself abruptly interrupting him with a question that had been gnawing at you, "why me?"

he looked at you, his gaze steady, and his response was quick, "why not you?"

your frustration simmered as his words hit you. he was choosing to be cryptic, and it was only adding to your confusion. pushing past your exasperation, you pressed on, "listen, i know we didn't part on the best terms, but why come back now and act like everything's fine? i mean, sure, it's better than hostility, but why choose me? i'm the one who's no longer part of your life."

his expression remained neutral, void of any emotions as he replied, "that's not true."

you raised an eyebrow, challenging him to elaborate. "what's not true?"

"that you have nothing to do with my life, y/n," he stated firmly.

the weight of his words settled heavily between you two, the gravity of the situation growing more apparent. the lunch table had transformed into an arena for confronting unresolved issues.

you scoffed, unable to hold back your disbelief. "jaemin, i made one mistake, and now you're trying to imply that my actions shaped your entire life?"

his eyes held yours, unwavering. "y/n, it's not just about that one mistake. everything that followed, everything that shaped who i am today… it's all connected to you."

your mind reeled, trying to grasp the enormity of what he was suggesting. the complexities of your shared history seemed to crash over you, leaving you grappling with a whirlwind of emotions and a tangled web of unspoken feelings.

the weight of his words left you momentarily speechless, and in an attempt to shift away from the intensity, you sought to change the subject. "where are the other producers? why is it just you here?"

"y/n…" he began, his tone suggesting he wanted to continue the previous conversation.

however, you opted to sidestep the discussion entirely. you pretended as if the profound exchange hadn't just occurred. "i notice you're taking on the role of a director now. quite the career shift, huh?" you inquired, masking your internal turmoil with a casual demeanor. you acted as if there hadn't been a two-year gap in your connection, as though things between you were perfectly ordinary.

he met your gaze, a faint hint of something unreadable in his eyes. "i pursued another dream when i felt i'd lost the chance for my first one."

"your first dream… not architecture, then?" you prodded, curious about the direction he had taken.

he shook his head, a soft chuckle escaping him, leaving you puzzled yet again. "no, not architecture. well, i suppose that just wasn't meant for me back then, but maybe it is now."

the cryptic nature of his response only added to the layers of confusion and intrigue that surrounded him. there was something about the way he spoke that hinted at deeper currents beneath the surface, emotions and experiences that he hadn't fully revealed. you found yourself torn between the desire to push for answers and the instinct to allow him his privacy. the lunch meeting had transformed into a stage for untangling not just the complexities of the documentary but also the intricate web of emotions and history between you and jaemin.

leaving the restaurant, a whirlwind of unanswered questions dances in your mind. yet, for now, you choose to tuck those thoughts away, focusing instead on the looming filming date just a few days away – next saturday.

in the span of time between that lunch and the upcoming shoot, jaemin proves consistent in his attempts to bridge the gap between you two. he regularly reaches out, updating you about his day and proposing get-togethers, which you consistently decline.

the days pass, marked by a series of messages and missed opportunities. despite the undeniable tension, there's an undeniable persistence on jaemin's part, a determined effort to reconnect and reestablish a sense of familiarity. however, your apprehensions and the memories of your past dynamics hold you back, keeping you from embracing his overtures.

as the countdown to the filming day continues, you find yourself in a delicate dance – balancing the unresolved history between you and the prospects of the future. the lines between your personal and professional lives are blurred, and the documentary project becomes a backdrop against which the intricacies of your relationship with jaemin play out.

you find yourself constantly pondering what his intentions could be. his actions leave you wondering, and you can't help but question what he's aiming for. in your perspective, you're merely a negative aspect of his life – a streak of misfortune. you would have expected him to have learned from the past, but his determination remains unshakeable.

as you contemplate these thoughts, your phone lights up once more, bearing yet another message from him. his name on the screen triggers a whirlwind of emotions – a mixture of uncertainty, annoyance, and a hint of curiosity. opening the message, you brace yourself for whatever he might convey this time. the consistency in his attempts at communication only serves to deepen the intricate web of emotions you hold for him, leaving you caught between your shared history and the unpredictability of the present.

"the offer's still there, y/n. :)" "jaemin, let's be real. just because i'm on board with your documentary idea doesn't mean we're suddenly best buds again. a lot has changed." "i want to reconnect, though." "actually, scratch that. i want to get to know you all over again." "jaemin, i appreciate the effort, but let's keep things professional, okay?" “i’m sorry, y/n. goodnight.”

after your straightforward message, his responses ceased. a silence settled in, stretching on until saturday – the day you were set to see him again. the anticipation and uncertainty had been building, and now the moment was finally at hand.

you stepped into the studio and immediately noticed that you and jaemin were the only ones present. your confusion must have been evident on your face, prompting him to address the situation promptly.

"um, the team thought having fewer people in the room would create a more personal atmosphere," he began, his voice carrying a hint of unease. "and, well, they decided to keep me here, you know, being the director and all, and also because we have a history…"

his words trailed off, and there was a subtle vulnerability in his tone. it was as if he was acknowledging the intricacies of your past connection, while simultaneously recognizing the complexities it introduced into your current dynamic. the studio, usually a place of creativity and collaboration, had transformed into a space laden with the weight of your shared history.

"it's okay," you responded, your words carrying a touch of reassurance. as your reply registered, a faint smile tugged at the corners of his lips – a detail you couldn't help but notice. after all, it was that very smile that had ignited four years of your life, a smile that held memories and emotions you had both shared.

"um, i'll just ask you a few questions, and then you're free to go," he stated, his voice carrying a hint of nervousness that didn't escape your notice. this new facet of his demeanor felt unfamiliar to you, a departure from the confident jaemin you had known.

you found yourself disliking this uneasiness, and a thought occurred to you – maybe it was time to rekindle something within him. as he began asking you questions, you decided to respond in a way that would evoke a certain familiarity between you two. it was a subtle attempt to bridge the gap, to draw out the person you once knew.

you had believed that his silence was what you wanted. you had convinced yourself that distancing yourself from him would protect you from the past mistakes. but now, facing the reality of the situation, you realized that perhaps a certain selfishness was ingrained within you. maybe, just maybe, you yearned to erase the distance, to defy your own rationalizations.

in this moment, you found yourself yearning to rekindle what had been lost, to bring back a connection that once meant so much. the conflicting emotions within you painted a complex picture of your desires – a battle between self-preservation and the longing for something more.

however, as you locked eyes with him and saw the lack of any discernible emotion in his gaze, a haunting wave of fear resurfaced within you. in that moment, it was as if time rewound, taking you back to the day of your graduation when your heart and spirit had felt shattered. the memory of that painful experience rushed back, accompanied by the doubts and uncertainties that had plagued you.

if you were to truly confront your own feelings, you'd admit that what you witnessed that night had left you questioning your own worth. the events had stirred up doubts about whether you had ever been deserving of taking risks for, whether you had ever been someone worth fighting for.

"hey, good morning, y/n."

"morning, director."

"how's today treating you?"

"pretty good, thanks."

"hmm, and what's life been like after college?"

"…"

"take your time."

"at first, i felt okay. my friends were all getting closer to their dreams, and i was genuinely happy for them. especially…"

"especially who?"

"especially the person i left behind."

"…"

"i was content being happy for someone else. then another year went by, and i wasn't feeling so great anymore."

"do you really think they're happy?"

"hmm?"

"the person you left behind."

"yeah. and my other friends seem happy too. they've got jobs they love, they're with people they care about, and i only had… renjun *laughs* … but sometimes, i can't help but feel like i'm the one who got left behind, you know? even though i was the one who walked away."

"let's talk about your person."

"oh *laughs* he's not my person."

pausing for a moment, you glanced at jaemin behind the camera. the question lingered in your mind: what was he trying to do? his actions and intentions remained a puzzle.

his expression grew serious, his gaze fixed intently on you. it was as if he had something to convey, something he was holding back.

"the last time i actually saw him was in an instagram post. he was with some girl. it happened on my graduation day. i waited the whole day, hoping he'd appear in the midst of the crowd. when he didn't, i held onto the possibility of seeing him by the gates. but that didn't happen either. my last hope was maybe he'd send me a single message, but by the end of the day, nothing came. then i went on instagram and saw a photo – a warning, i guess. a warning that i should just stop hoping. that… happened a few weeks later, i think. or maybe it was just a few days after our argument, the one where he told me he couldn't love… yeah."

you met his gaze and once again, his face was serious. his eyes were furrowed and his mouth was slightly open. a few moments passed, and he let out a shaky breath. screw it, you thought, it's out there now and i don't care anymore.

your silent exchange was interrupted as he shifted the camera away. confusion clouded your thoughts as you watched him move. he turned back to you, his expression still serious, and then he grabbed a chair from the nearby table. he sat down with his back facing you.

the room felt charged with unspoken emotions, leaving you to question his intentions and actions. it was as if he was peeling away layers, searching for something beneath the surface.

"did you know that…" he began, his voice breaking the silence. "she was his sister?"

"i never told you about her, that's on me," he admitted with a chuckle. "that was her last day, y/n. so i decided to spend the entire day with her. i'm sorry."

you were taken aback. "i'm sorry–"

"it's okay, y/n."

"i know i left you with so many questions that night, but let me tell you… every effort you made, every cookie you baked, i cherished all of it. i loved you. i'm sorry if my actions made you doubt yourself."

another pause filled the air.

"i left when you left."

"you were my dream. architecture wasn't really my passion, you know? i was struggling a lot, but luckily, you were there with me. i decided to chase after what i truly loved when you left, because i realized if i wanted you back in my life, it should be when i'm at my best, right? i wasn't lying when i said i couldn't love. i didn't want to love you when i was broken. i wanted to be the best version of myself for you. i thought that if i wanted you to be with the best person, then that should be me. so i became that person, a director, and then i planned all of this." his eyes finally met yours.

"i was always looking at you."

tears welled up in your eyes, and he seemed to notice. he took a step towards you and enveloped you in his arms.

"i'm sorry for not holding onto you back then, baby. but i promise, i won't let go of you now," he whispered.

"i'm sorry for leaving, jaemin," you sobbed.

"shh, you did what you thought was right."

"do you want to have lunch with me now?" he asked.

a mixture of emotions flooded your heart, and with a nod, you replied, "yes, jaemin."

[arizonaaaaaa]

GLEE LGBTQIA+ HEADCANONS- HAPPY PRIDE MONTH PART 1

1- Rachel Berry- Bisexual

-Had more chemistry with the women she sang than most men she dated

-Shes annoying and obnoxious but surprisingly cute while in relationships, notice how she’s only annoying and hates everyone when she’s single

-Faberry, Pezberry and Jonesberry 🔛🔝

2- Finn Hudson- Bisexual and Demisexual

-Def slept with Puck on the same bed as kids when they had sleepovers

-also slept together with Sam on the couch while playing video games, Kurt covered them with a comfy blanket

-idk his interactions with Kurt on 1x04 are just so cuteeeeeeeeeeeeee

-the demi part, just remember that when he had sex with Santana, it meant nothing to him because she wasn’t important to him

3- Kurt Hummel- Gay

-Canon

-really wanted to see more relationships with him, we only had Klaine, him and Adam and that’s it, the rest were all crushes, and kisses, and friendships that we pretended were real or sm

-nothing more to add

4- Mercedes Jones- Pansexual

-idk it’s just the vibes

-kind of like Shang from Mulan, falling for the person they are, not how they present themselves

-anyway she gives the best hugs ever and she loves having conversations and everyone loves her for that (as they should)

5- Tina Cohen-Chang- Bisexual and Non-Binary

-so you are a 2000s asian character with purple hair and a goth/puck style but your not bi? The blasphemy

-notice how the three highlights she wore on season 1 were purple, blue and pink

-I feel like she questioned her gender several times after she started dating Mike, when she came out he was so supportive😭

6- Artie Abrams- Bisexual

-say what you want but he totally admired Finn and Puck

-def wanted to date both Tina and Mike

-funny how any relationship with a man would be way better than any relationship he ever had💀

7- Quinn Fabray- Lesbian

-we already know girly is at least bi, you know, fucking with Santana twice

-didn’t have a single successful relationship with a guy, cheated on most of them

-girl just wanted to lesbian and no one got her😭

8- Santana Lopez- Lesbian

-canon

-same with Kurt, we deserved other relationships aside from Brittana and Danitana?

9- Brittany Pierce- Bisexual

-canon

-bad representation in my opinion but it’s not my place to talk

-deserved a coming out scene, Kurt had, Santana had one (but it was deleted) but she didn’t, feels like the writers saying that bisexuals don’t need to come out

10- Noah Puckerman- Pansexual

-took a long time to figure out his feelings

-he’s not romantic attracted by everyone like he is sexually, so it took longer to noticed he also likes guys

-prob had a awakening while watching porn or something

-tho him being canonically pansexual would be kind of weird like imagine him hitting on mr Schue or something

[sammyluvr]

sam is actually such a bah humbug but with you he js can’t be bc ur so joyful at christmas and he js can’t help but embrace the festive cheer bc of u.

also he gives you many advent calendars, like he makes u one for books (cookbooks and reading books) and he does it up till xmas day n day 25 is a rare book trilogy you’ve been wanting and it’s so sweet, then it’s obvs a chocolate one (24 days) and then you have a 50(+) day advent calendar where u guys have morning and night sex (obvs if u want to), if not it’s js cuddles n kisses or him giving u a lap dance or strip tease.

but the sex is bloody beautiful bc he’s not a small man in any department and he knows like what to do with his hands and other parts (iykwim) to make u feel good and yeah, it’s a miracle if u can walk on boxing day.

also u guys have drunk nye sex bc sam is a clingy, cute, horny drunk and he like sloppily kisses u wherever he can get (tatas🥳) with flushed red cheeks but ur the same as him so yeah (the sex is very sloppy and tired, u guys fall asleep before u finish and u laugh a lot) and then u guys have nyd sex and it’s very sweet and tired and yeah and he kisses ur shoulders n back and yeah, then he cleans u up and carries u everywhere for basically the whole of january

and dean is very annoyed bc ur too freaky and u try being quiet (sometimes being successful) but yeah idk this kinda went sideways but yolo (im so sorry for this being sm😭😭😭)

-💽

the two times a day for fifty days (or longer) sex advent calendar is CRAZY /pos LMAOOOO I'M SCREAMING. that's one way to make a bah humbug like christmas!!

no but i really do love the idea of sam being able to enjoy himself more during the holidays because of you. he just likes to see you excited and happy and holiday cheer to him literally just means you. and it gives him an excuse to spoil you hehe <33

thinking about him not knowing what to do with himself if you spoil him too :(( he's so cute, he's so grateful for literally any little thing you give him (and honestly might not want you to spoil him too much or he'll get overwhelmed lol. i feel like he's the type to really like very simple and practical gifts with some good nerdy trinkets or merch thrown in there for sure.)

anyways still giggling about the sex advent calendar that's so funny to me.. i could never keep up LOLLL you really would need to get carried around the whole of january lmao. omg tipsy new years eve sex is actually so cute to me hehehe <33 love it don't be sorry sweetheart <33