#I love finding ones I've never seen before

[fledgedragonfox]

Secondary Colors & Tertiary Souls

Two lovers have reincarnated throughout history, destined to find each other and fall in love all over again. There’s also this third guy that reincarnates alongside them… we don’t really know what he does.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I've honestly lost track of how many times I've been here. Watching from the outside as they found each other again. Sometimes they remember, sometimes they don't. But they always find each other. And sometimes they find me. But never in a way that matters. I came close once. Violet came back as a beautiful young woman and I happened to be a strapping young man from a noble family.

This was way back when dragons were still trouncing around the countryside. I was her betrothed, and I was so happy. But then she found Forest, as one of the most gorgeous dragons I'd ever seen. To be fair every other gorgeous dragon was either Violet or Forest in another life, but still. He was breathtaking. He stole her away, and they lived happily ever after. 

I don't like to think about how bad things were after they left. I'd like to think that if I came that close to them again I'd handle things better. No elderberry wine and cliff edges for me, thank you very much.

But, well…

It's hard to keep going like this.

There’s a legend about us you know? Two souls, born into the world over and over again. They always find each other. And every time, their love burns through the barriers of forgotten times, and they embrace. Every time, they come back and without fail, a third appears. No one quite knows why, but the third soul is always present. Either in passing, or as a foe, or even a friend. Some say that when the three meet, you can sense it happen. But always it is the lovers, and their shadow. 

They were an orcish warrior and an adorable scholar. I was a merchant passing through their village.

They were a pair of rebellious halflings. I was an elf who barely had a chance to speak to them before the war.

They were a lake spirit and a knight. While I was an ogre he'd been tricked into slaying.

They were a priest and a fair maiden. I was a dangerous lich, despite only using my powers to heal.

They were a bookseller and a musclehead. I was just a regular at the coffee shop they frequented. That time we became pretty good friends. 

They were starcrossed lovers, an astronaut and an alien. And I worked on mission control millions of miles away.

I get to see them come together again and again and again. But I never get a chance. Sometimes we see each other in the interim. The place between life and death. Sometimes they remember me from the previous life, those are the best moments of my existence. We talk, reminisce, apologize, and promise to remember next time. But they rarely ever do. And even if they do, they almost never remember me.

Right now, I'm a bartender. Serving drinks to assholes all night long. Night after night. Last time the higher ups apologized again for the trouble with my memories. They promised that this time things would be different. This time, when I die again, I won't have to come back. My paradise has been waiting for almost a thousand years, and will still be there when I'm ready. I might be ready to just rest, and let them keep up this asinine cycle they have going. 

That’s when I see them. Violet is a tall man wearing a black turtleneck. He looks so kind, like he always does. Forest is a large man, with a thick beard and a wide smile. They are perfect. Just like always. Even when Violet’s sword was cutting through me, or when Forest was soaring away with Violet in his claws. They were smiling at each other, their hands clasped in each others’ as they danced to the pulsing music. They had matching rings on, married once again. 

They glance in my direction and slow in their dance. I fumble, dropping the tumbler in my hands all over the bar. Sticky booze and ice scatter across the surface and soak my apron. I swear quietly, trying desperately to mop up the mess before it could drip onto any customers. I may be set in the afterlife, but here I need this damned job. I jump when paper towels gently move my frantic hands out of the way. My breath catches in my throat. 

They were here. Frantically setting up a paper towel barricade with the help of the security nearby. My hands are shaking. I’m smaller in this life. Lanky, and awkward, and too many stuttered out excuses. I hadn’t really been taking care of myself this time around, if I’m being honest. Forest takes my hands, trying to stop their shaking. My eyes snap to his and I feel it. Oh this one was going to hurt. These ones always did. He remembered me, or at least something about me. I was a homeless man last time. I lashed out in frustration when I saw them walking down the street. They later visited me sometimes after I apologized. They brought me sandwiches sometimes. Then the cycle started again.

“It’s you.” He said. His voice isn’t angry or sad. It’s a soft voice full of awe. I will fully admit that I am beyond confused. We must have been standing here a while because Violet finishes cleaning and looks at us. I expect him to lash out or question his husband, whatever his name is this time. But he doesn’t. He looks at me, and starts to tear up. He remembers too. This is going to really suck. Last time I was so tired and sick. This time I’m a pathetic lanky loser. It’s been a few minutes, both of their hands are clasping mine. I can’t look at them. I keep my gaze to the floor. This will be the last time. I promise myself that, at the end of this one I am staying in the after. 

“Pumpkin.” The name, the name I’ve only ever used sparingly in the after. They said my name. I can feel myself crying as I look at them. Their gazes are full of sorrow, regret, awe, and something that they had only ever had for each other. Forest guides me around the bar, the pair nearly jumping over the counter. The other patrons and bartenders give us strange, knowing, looks. Then they hug me. Well, envelope me more like. They are both bigger than me. They wrap themselves around my soggy boozy body. 

“We’re so so sorry.” Violet mutters into my hair. Forest it patting my front down with paper towels, muttering apologies and explanations that I barely hear. It takes me a few minutes to catch up. But I can still feel it. I feel a shift in myself. Like something slotting into place. 

“You remember…” My voice is a whisper, and I begin to sob when they nod and pull me in between them. They remember. Maybe they’ll want to stay with me in paradise. Maybe this life won’t be quite so bad. They’re running through names I’ve had in the past, some that even I barely recall. When they kiss me, one after the other, it feels like all of the pain is being seared away. 

I’m not a shadow anymore.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

OK! I'm probably gonna make more of these at some point but here we go! A writing prompt for chrimmas!

If you're interested, I have a patreon and unfortunately a gofundme available if you want to support me.

All of the details for the gofundme can be found on the gofundme page, I promise.

Pareon: https://patreon.com/A_M_W_Harris?utm_medium=unknown&utm_source=join_link&utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator&utm_content=copyLink Gofundme: https://gofund.me/d271f0c4

Two lovers have reincarnated throughout history, destined to find each other and fall in love all over again. There’s also this third guy that reincarnates alongside them… we don’t really know what he does.

[livelaughloveluffy]

longing for you - black leg sanji

a/n: so sorry for the fic drought, i honestly just didn't have any particular inspo, and with the holidays right around the corner i've been pretty busy 😭😭

a/n: in typical divorced parents fashion, christmas time is nothing but a pit of dread in my stomach where no matter who i choose to spend it with, everyone's mad about my decision 😭😭😭 so i'm writing some fanfic to cope 😭😭

nothing but fluff here 💗

---------------------------------------------------------------------

-of course when he first laid eyes on you, sanji couldn't deny his initial attraction. there was something about your beauty that was indescribable and left his mouth hanging wide open in shock. something told the curly-browed cook that you were different, he just knew that there was zero room for error to mess things up with you.

-when you first met sanji, you had no idea of his hardcore reputation as a serious ladies man. because aside from a sparce flirty comment every once in a while, he gave no other indication of this behavior. even nami and robin were honestly concerned that something had happened to the chef because he had totally mellowed out in the attention he gave them, almost like he was a different person.

-sanji resorted to longing glances and quick smiles the first few months you were aboard the sunny. he was stuck admiring you from afar. observing the way you carried yourself, the dimples that appear when you smile, noticing all your little quirks and finding them adorable. it's no surprise that he took extreme notice of your reaction to all drinks, meals, desserts, and snacks he served you. the cook was dedicated to remember your likes and dislikes. and sanji took special pride in being able to anticipate dishes you would love, which had become a new hobby of his.

-it took all his self control and strength to not fall to his knees at your slight smile as you complimented his cooking. your voice falling on his ears as sweet as honey. sanji was consumed with desire to drink it up, to hoard it all for himself. his cheeks colored with a bright pink blush as he thanks you for your kind words. "it was my pleasure, mon cheri."

-subtlety is not sanji's strong suit, and while he had never seen the issue with that before, he couldn't help kicking himself about it now. the cook was dumbfounded with how to approach his feelings for you. it started with sweet little notes being left in places you frequented on the sunny. a fresh vase of flowers left on your nightstand. and the night sanji finally told you how he felt, you walked into the girl's dorm and sat upon your bed was a blushing blonde man. in one hand holding a bouquet of red roses and the other with your favorite dessert, freshly made by him of course. subtlety be damned.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

a/n: it physically hurt to stop writing this one but if i truly finished this fic, it would only be because my heart stopped beating💀

tags ♡: @twiishaa @3v37773 @irethepotato @peachycat17 @dreamcastgirl99 @sanji-soup @suga-tofu @vamphoria @hamhamhamtaro @kcch-ns @raddelusionaldive

want to join the taglist? click here!

a/n: enjoyed this fic? here's my masterlist!!

[v1rtu4ld0ll]

𝐕𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐨 𝐃𝐢𝐚𝐫𝐲 | 𝐏.𝐒𝐇

⌞♡⸝⸝ 𝐒𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬⌝ There it was , the camera you always used in your younger years to record yourself at least once a week or record special moments — it was your little diary. You filmed yourself growing up , significant moments — it also included your love story with your husband and your child . Surely watching all the footage wouldn't be bad, right? ⌞♡⸝⸝𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐬⌝ sfw content, lovestory, wedding ceremony, only the ending is in the present (everything else is from the past), "present time" plays in 2032, Reader is the same age as Sunghoon, kissing , young teens in love ⌞♡⸝⸝ 𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐂𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭⌝ 3k

⌞♡⸝⸝ 𝐃𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐲'𝐬 𝐍𝐨𝐭𝐞⌝ Not gonna lie , i got a bit emotional while writing this, reblogs and feedback are appreciated!

A silver colored Digital camera with cute stickers on it and a beaded charm , that was the camera you used when you were younger — it was dusty now , you haven’t used or touched it in a while. It’s fascinating how many precious things one can find while cleaning the attic — old pictures , clothes your child wore as a baby , a box that contained stuff from highschool and college , but the most precious thing was your digital camera — a tiny memory card in it that held years of precious memories , a quick look wouldn’t hurt , right?

"It's the 15th of December in 2019 , I'm currently 17 years old", You moved your hand away from the camera as you turned it on , an awkward smile on your face as you looked at it. "Oh wow... this is really awkward.. Hello Diary or future me or anyone who found it i guess ? I've decided to lead a little video diary to watch back in the future , hopefully with a Partner by my side and possibly a child ? I thought it would be cute to watch it together in the future and watch me grow up or to look back on good memories. But that's not the only reason , this will be very embarrassing for me if i will end up with someone else but — i met a really cute boy at the Ice rink today. He doesn’t know I exist yet but I’m planning on going to the Ice rink again tomorrow and hopefully see him again! He’s really cute , very handsome and a bit anti-social so I don’t know if I will have the courage to talk to him tomorrow — he’s unapproachable! From what I have seen , he’s a figure skater — It’s like he’s flying on Ice with how graceful his movements are , like a bird who got freed from its cage. Well , whoever is watching this and I didn’t end up with him and has to watch me talk about another boy — I am very sorry!”, an almost embarrassed expression made its way on your face , your hand that was covered by your sleeve covering your mouth to cover up the silly grin you had on your face as you let out a squeal of embarrassment before hurriedly shutting off the camera.

God , your expressions never changed , you still had that same expression whenever you were embarrassed. The next video started to play, but it wasn’t a video of you — it was a video of Sunghoon when he was younger. The video dated back to a week later of the first video you filmed — it seems like you didn’t have the courage to talk to him after the first video after all.

He wore his usual training tracksuit he always wore when he trained , a monotone expression on his face. The camera followed the directions he glided across the ice to , his movements experienced and graceful, he looked so free on the ice rink — the ice rink was his home. “Look at her watching him with that flustered expression”, it was your friend's voice , the camera panning to you — a small fond smile on your face as your eyes practically sparkled while watching him before you looked at the camera in embarrassment. “Shut up!”, you giggled shyly as you tried to move the camera away from you but soon got distracted by watching him again , a soft sigh falling from your lips as you watched him do an axel. Your friend put their hand on your shoulder as they gently shook you. “Come on (Y/n) , just talk to him! The worst he can do is say no or ignore you!”, your friend laughed softly as they tried to encourage you to talk to him before the video cut off. It started to film again , your friend seemingly filming you secretly as you did your move on him. Your back got filmed so only Sunghoon was visible from the front — a surprised expression on his face before his cheeks flushed as he grinned while nodding his head. Your friend whispered a quiet  ‘Yes!’ as you got Sunghoon’s number , their happiness and excitement for you is visible in their voice. Your friend continued to film the whole interaction before you walked towards them once Sunghoon had to get back to training , a happy and excited expression on your face as you tried to suppress your squeals but they ultimately came out once you reached your friend. You were so happy on that day after finally being able to talk to the boy who you had been eyeing and also getting his number. 

The video ended and the next videos were just you filming Sunghoon on several days when he was ice skating , it was clear how much he loved it — his first love , the ice rink , that would never change. Your voice could be heard in the background , silently gushing about how pretty he looks on ice and how good he is at ice skating — compliments that always made his heart swell up with pride. There were also short clips you had taken when you were with Sunghoon , having met up regularly to hang out or watch him practice — short clips from the scenery you two were at , pictures of when Sunghoon took you out and you’d see something looked pretty, pictures of Sunghoon or short clips of the two of you. Your smile was so bright and whenever you’d look away , Sunghoon would look at you with eyes as soft as a pillow — eyes sparkling with a fond smile on his face. He was falling for you.

The next video played but you were giggling while glancing to your left before you spoke up. “It’s been a while since I last properly filmed something , it’s the 14th of february 2020 and , Sunghoon over here wanted me to film my reaction to something”, you panned the camera into his direction to which he’d grin and cover his face with the sleeve of his sweater before moving out of frame. “Don’t show me! It’s embarrassing!”, he could be heard whining in the background to which you could only giggle. Judging by your Background , the two of you were in your room. You sat up a bit and placed your camera on your window ledge since you two were on your bed that was right next to your window. “Alright , close your eyes”, Sunghoon said as he was rummaging through his back judging by the rustling noises and you did close your eyes — the corners of your lips twitching as you tried to bite back the smile that was starting to grow on your face.

With your hands held open and eyes closed , you felt something getting placed in your hand — your cheeks growing hot as you opened your eyes just to see a small black velvet box in your hands. You looked at Sunghoon in surprise to which he just urged you to open it with a shy smile on his face. You slowly opened the box and the camera captured your expression perfectly , the look of genuine surprise on your face was a sight he loved. “Sunghoon, this was probably so expensive!”, you gasped as your nimble fingers lifted up the thin silver chain with a delicate heart pendant attached to it , an icy blue gem in the middle of it —  there was something under the gem that made it look as if the blue gem was frozen on the inside. “Nothing’s too expensive if it makes you happy”, Sunghoon mumbled as he moved into the frame , your mattress dipping under his weight as he kneeled behind you and brushed your hair to the side before grabbing the necklace from your fingers —  the silver was cool against your skin as he held it in front of you and locked the clasp.

“Don’t look at me… I have something to tell you”, Sunghoon started with a soft sigh as he placed his hands on your shoulders before he ran them down your arms , his hand finding yours while his chest was pressed against your back with his chin on your shoulder. He didn’t care if he was going to get rejected or not since your camera was still running — it would be embarrassing if you were to reject him on camera but it would be a great memory if you accept it. “(Y/n).... I’m not really good with expressing my emotions or feelings so I apologize if this will be awkward, I’m trying my best but… I really like you. You’re more than just a friend to me , if I had to compare you to something, I’d compare you to an Ice rink. With you I can be myself , I don’t have to put on an act — you make me feel free and like nothing could ever get to me. You don’t judge me or tell me to be different , you’re always there for me and support and comfort me. You turn the thoughts in my head off and make me feel at peace. I…I want to go out with you… but only if you want to as well?”, the camera focused on you as you tried to stay calm but on the inside , your heart was doing backflips while Sunghoon felt as if his heart was going to jump out any second with how hard it was pounding against his chest — he just indirectly told you that you were his first love. You turned your head a little to the side so you could look at him , his eyes shifting to look back at you. “I want to , I really do. You don’t know how happy you’ve made me with that”, you said with a silly smile on your face , his facial expression matching yours as he heard what you had said —  his arms moving to circle around your waist to hug you. His eyes were intensively staring into you — a hint of hesitance and desire glimmering in his brown orbs. “Can I kiss you..?”, he whispered softly , your heart doing another flip as you nodded your head gently —  his right hand moved up to the side of your face as he leaned in , turning your face more towards him as best as he could , keeping your position in mind , before kissing you gently.

‘Oh we were so young and so in love.’ , the corners of his lips twitched up into a subtle smile.

There weren’t any videos after that from the same year ,the year after , the year after the last year and the year after the last year again. The next video was a video that was cut together , a long one that didn’t have an ending to it , you didn’t finish editing it. It started with the previously watched videos before there was a huge jump —  you looked older , more mature , this was back in 2026. A bright smile was on your face , your eyes shining so brightly that they could light up a whole room. You wore a white dress , your hands covering your mouth as you looked at your reflection , eyes teary and looking like diamonds shimmering in the light. “It’s the 14th of February in 2026 and…. I can’t believe it , my best friend is getting married”, it was your best friend's voice trembling with emotions , they were close to tears , just like you were. They moved towards you to film you as you dabbed your tears away from the inner corners of your eyes to ruin your makeup , your giggles being heard clearly on the footage. “I’m getting married to the love of my life , I can’t believe this is true”, you sniffled as you smiled into the camera. There was a cut and the next scene came , Sunghoon’s mother and sister hugging you while complementing how pretty you looked in your wedding dress before your Mom placed the veil on your head , handing you your bouquet of forget-me-not —  possibly an usual flower to use for a wedding bouquet but you didn’t care ,you liked the meaning of them. “Are you ready?”, your mom asked softly as she put her hands on your shoulder , her eyes teary as she looked at you —  her little girl was getting married ,the day had come and your mother wasn’t sure if she was the one ready for it. “Yes”, you nodded your head as you gave your mom a soft smile before she hugged you.

There was another cut and the next scene played , the wedding ceremony started. The beautiful tunes of the pipe organ started the ceremony , the wooden doors opening as you walked in with your dad by your side , the camera panned to film Sunghoon who was nervously waiting for you by the altar. His hands were trembling as you finally stood in front of him , his hand taking yours gently as he whispered something that couldn’t be heard —  but his lips moved so clearly that anyone could see that he whispered that you looked beautiful. Your backs turned to the camera as the priest spoke up and you exchanged your vows. Your friend zoomed the camera in to clearly capture Sunghoon and you putting your rings on each other before he slowly lifted your veil. He was no crier, he rarely cried but to get married to the girl he loved got his waterworks working , his glossy eyes twinkling in the eyes as he exhaled a shaky breath while he caressed the side of your face with his left hand. “You may kiss the Bride”, he didn’t need to be told twice as he leaned down and gently kissed you , cheers and happy crying erupting in the church as the deal had been sealed. The video cut again and the next shots were from the wedding — you throwing your bouquet and his sister catching it , the two of you cutting your wedding cake , the two of you having your wedding dance before switching to him dancing with his mother and you dancing with your dad before the video cut again. The change of scenery was you filming a house while the “sold” sign was being removed from the lawn , Sunghoon could be seen carrying furniture into the house together with your Father in law and your own dad before you turned the camera towards you.

“It’s the 10th of July in 2027 and we’ve finally moved out of our Apartment and are in the process of moving into our new House. Baby ,we did it! The renovations are finally done and we can start our own family properly!”, you said in excitement with a bright smile on your face. “We did it… we’ve gotten so far , I’m so proud of us”, your voice cracked a little as you started to get emotional as realization finally hit you. “We’re married , have our own home and… it won’t be long until we’ll finally meet our little Princess”,you moved the camera in an angle that showed your swollen belly , you were 6 months pregnant at the time —  you were glowing , looking so pretty in your gorgeous sundress. Your eyes were starting to get teary as all the emotions hit you at once and you pointed the camera to the ground as you tried to pull yourself together. “Are you okay my love? Why are you crying? Do you not feel good?”, Sunghoon’s worried voice could be heard as he came to you , the shadows on the pavement showing that he was hugging you and kissing your forehead while you laughed softly and sniffled that you were just getting emotional.

The video cut again and this time it was Sunghoon who was filming, his tone hushed as he spoke. “It’s the 15th of October 2027 and… our little girl is finally here”, he turned the camera so it was focused on you sleeping in the hospital bed with your newborn sleeping on your chest — his fingers adjusting your hospital gown since it was pulled down a bit as you were breastfeeding previously. His hand moved up to your face , gently brushing your messy hair away from your forehead. “My pretty girl…. I’m so proud of you , you did so well and now , our pretty princess has set foot into the world , our little angel”, his tone was soft and hushed , barely a whisper as he moved the cameras a bit to film your sleeping baby girl , his fingers gently touching the newborns hand just for the small hand to open and grasp onto his index finger. “My pretty girls… I will do anything to protect the two of you”, with that , the video cut again and the next video clips started to play. Clips of your daughter growing up , from her starting to crawl to her first time standing , from her first steps to her teeth growing and her starting to speak, to her first time swimming and her crying when Sunghoon had to be away for a couple days —  she was a daddy’s girl for sure. But then , there was nothing , you haven’t filmed for a while.

His small smile shifted into a sad one , his eyes filled with grief —  how would you be able to film when you weren’t here anymore? It happened two years ago , a car accident — you fell into a coma before ultimately passing away. He couldn’t stop grieving , not now , not in ten years , not even when he’s old and wrinkly —  maybe not even until he will die. He had to fight back his tears , he couldn’t cry , not now , not when he knew that his little princess was watching him right now. “Daddy…. I miss mommy…”, the little girl said , he wasn’t aware that she went to look for him and found him in the attic watching the videos —  the little girl watching from behind. He sighed softly as he gathered himself but his glossy eyes couldn’t be hidden as he turned around to look at his daughter and opened his arms to hug her as she walked towards him.

“Me too… Daddy misses Mommy too …”

[corkinavoid]

DPxDC Hogwarts AU [pt. 1]

The first time Tim sees him, he is seven, standing by his Father's side, and bored out of his mind.

The 'party' is numbingly dull, full of adults, sparkling flutes of champagne, tiny sandwiches, and fake twinkling laughter. Tim doesn't understand how his parents find any of it interesting; in his opinion, nothing about just talking to people for hours and hours straight sounds as exciting as they make it look.

He wishes he could just go home already. Not that his time in the Drake estate gets any more exciting than bothering house elves or spending his day in the library, but it's still better than this.

Or, Tim thought so until he heard the unmistakable sound of glass shattering on the floor.

He turns around, and there are yelps and screams of surprise and angry swearing. It takes Tim a few seconds to realize what's going on - a few people are holding their hands to their faces, like trying to hide them, and he gets a glimpse of an elephant trunk peeking through the palms of one old lady.

And then, there's a sound of loud, delighted laughter ringing through the room, and the sound of footsteps, and-

"DANIEL!" Tim hears Mr. Masters, the host of the event, yell at the top of his lungs.

A moment later, Tim sees a boy zooming past him, elbowing the adults on his way to push through the crowd and still cackling like a madman. Tim doesn't get a good look at him, what with the boy running so fast he almost trips, but he does notice the messy black hair and the large, knitted blue sweater that looks too big on the boy's body.

"Daniel Jackson Fenton, come back this instant!" Mr. Masters calls again, his thunderous steps louder than all the yelling around them.

The boy doesn't even deign him with a look over his shoulder. Instead, he darts towards the nearest window, opens it with what seems to be practiced ease, and climbs on the windowsill. Only then does he look back to the chaos he created in the room full of respectable guests, and grins.

Tim blinks. He's never seen anyone smile like this, all teeth and mischief, and cheeky excitement.

"What, too old to catch me, Vlad?" He sticks his tongue at Mr. Masters, and just for a moment, Tim is scared the man is going to lunge at him. Yet, right as Mr. Masters gets close enough, the boy pushes off and jumps out the window, his laughter echoing through the night.

Mr. Masters looks like he is about to follow - and Tim is, for once, curious to see if he would - but stops himself short, only leaning out the window.

"Don't bother coming back, you little badger, you are grounded!" The man yells. The only response he gets is another fit of distant cackling from the gardens.

"That is sure a way to entertain the crowd," Father says quietly, and the tall, dark-skinned woman he's been talking to before the whole mess happened snorts a short laugh.

Tim looks back to the few people who are still sporting elephant trunks for their noses.

It's the first time he thinks a party full of adults in stuffy robes can be more fun than he expected.

—☆—☆—☆—

Some visuals for v i b e s

The room where the scene took place:

Tim's drawing after he was back home from the party (house elves helped):

[Picrew]

—☆—☆—☆—

I have the vaguest possible idea of where I'm going, but this is definitely going to be a multichapter thing.

A few notes I've got pinned down so far:

Drakes are a mostly pureblood family, not filthy rich and straight up focused on the whole purity thing, but keeping their reputation clean and nice, and their income stable. Both Jack and Janet have attended Hogwarts, and they were both Ravenclaws while they were at it. Janet might have some relation to Blacks, but it's so distant that she doesn't bother keeping it in mind.

Vladimir Masters is, technically, a pureblood wizard, but his family has been in England for only two or so generations. His grandma (who is still very much alive) came from Russia after falling madly in love with Vlad's grandpa (who is now deceased and, as the rumor goes, his wife had a hand in it). He also attended Hogwarts and has been a Ravenclaw in the same year as Madeline Fenton nee Walker. Hence, Daniel Fenton is his godson and, unofficially, as of right now, heir to Masters family.

[part 2 ->]

[ineedpaigebuckets]

unspoken truths

pt. 2

warnings: angst

an: it's awful i know. someone please help like literally how the fuck do you write. i have such good ideas but they just can not be executed right. anyways i prob actually won't write any more because i literally just cant stand to read this shit.

------------------------------------------------------

paige pov

i knew azzi and i wouldn't get along just because of her boyfriend alone, but then at practice one day it kinda hit. out on court chemistry was unmatched, she'd always find me, id always find her, when we played together we played fucking amazing. i started to become more and more drawn in by her, i started to realize she didn't really have a lotta friends since moving. i figured, maybe i'd give her a chance.

the second her beautiful ass walks into the party hand in hand with jake my plan almost flies out the window. my face tightens but i try not to think of it. i head to the kitchen to get some food and see one of our teammates, kk.

"hey k!" i grin as i walk up to her. slumping against the counter. the second i speak i see azzi walk in, she looks sad, it makes my heart squeeze for her.

"az!" i try to give her a polite smile as i hold my hand out for her to dab me up but she just kinda loosely holds on to it for a second, something's wrong and i can tell. my gaze darts between kk and azzi, i know i shouldn't, but i need to make sure azzi is okay.

"hey, did something h-" before i can even finish my sentance my fuckass girlfriend is on my arm and azzis hopeful expression drops. her big sweet eyes fall into annoyance quickly as she walks out to f the kitchen back over to jake.

emma, my girlfriend has done nothing but make me mad the last month or two and she knew it. i drag her right past azzi and her boyfriend out to the porch and look at her, my eyes drifting to azzi on the other side of the door. "emma, babe i'm sorry we can't keep doing this." i give her a knowing look and she slumps down, she knew it, we didn't love eachother we just had some sort of unspoken agreement i guess.

"i know." i hear her say kinda softly but that fire in her eyes is still there. "don't come running back to me when it doesn't workout with that bitch." she seethe and it takes me back, her hands meet my shoulders pushing me back a little while she stomps inside, right past azzi.

i sigh and walk back in kinda lingering in azzis space just a little.

"fuckin dyke broke up again" i hesr jake turn to azzi and joke, i'm about to fucking punch this sucker but azzi gets to him first.

azzi pov

"jake what the fuck, this is what i keep fucking talking about." i seethe my voice loud and hard. "don't fucking talk about my teammate like that." without another word i walk upstairs curling up in one of the empty beds just sitting on my phone.

the door cracks open and there she is, paige bueckers and all her beauty. but then she starts to talk and i realize i'm

mistaken, again.

"azzi, what the fuck was that. you just embarrassed the shit outta me i can take care of myself i don't need no transfer butting in and fighting off people like a child. i can protect myself." the second she starts to yell i feel tears fill my eyes, id had such an awful day already i couldn't deal with her shit right now. i try not to make it noticeable but her eyes soften in a way i've never seen before.

"i'm so sorry." she breathlessly whispers as i stand up walking towards her, i lean past her to open the door signaling her to leave but she kicks the door shut and pulls me into her chest, her hand in my hair and her other on my waist. i waste no time comfortably holding my arms around her torso. no words said just calm. "break up with him." paige whispers and im taken aback my head pulled out of her neck as i look up to her with big eyes, her eyes sweet and sincere, and only because it comes out of her mouth i think it over.

"i- i will." i say, both of her hands not rest on my waist, somewhere they really shouldn't be. "but- we- let's go downstairs." i stutter out clearly a little flustered.

she nods which makes me let out a sigh of relief but her head tilts down her hand meets my chin as she kisses my cheek softly. as she pulls away i see the soft gentle hope in her eyes and, why not return the favor. i bring my lips up to her cheek but paige's head must have turned, her lips brush mine and i jerk back.

"shit- i'm sorry." i muster out quickly my fingers tracing over my lips, i'm disbelief but within seconds her lips are on mine.

i feel her soft wet lips against mine making a soft breathless moan leave my lips. they seem to absentmindedly part as paige's tongue slips into my mouth. her hands pull my waist as close to her as they can as mine pull her face into mine. within seconds there's a fire through my body, her kiss felt like no one else. i wasn't scared of her going too far, i wasn't uncomfortable with the way she was holding me, i felt safe and calm. and above all else i was fucking drenched through my leggings. "fuck." i mumble against her lips as her hand finds the back of my head gently pushing me against the wall but making sure my head doesn't hit it hard at all. the soft gesture so kind and sweet. my thoughts are interrupted when her knee pushes between my legs and i let out a gasp under her, leaning my head against the wall. "m not gay." i whisper as a kinda last resort to not let myself fall into her trap but her knee leaves my core, but she's wearing shorts there's a small glisten on the top of it and i curse myself.

"way to ruin the fucking moment." she grits out.

my hand flies out to her shirt and i yank her lips back to mine. i don't care how "straight" i think i am i want her fucking tongue in my mouth, and of course she obliges. but only seconds later there's loud voices outside bringing us both back to our senses. we silently pull away and look at eachother and i scramble out the door with her on my heels. the second we get downstairs some other bitch is in my boyfriends lap and i walk over to him. im gonna take paige's request.

"you wanna date this homophobic asshole go for it. cuz he's not with me anymore." i yell at the girl, and i go to say another thing but before i can he stands up. my eyes widen and im nervous but paige comes up behind me pushing him, hard, back onto the couch his head hits the wall and paige let's put a grunt. my eyes widen and fill with terror i grab paige's shirt and tug her outside.

"i can take care of my fucking self." repeating her words from earlier. i let her shirt go with a scoff and walk down the block back to my house leaving her there. and bam we're back to square one.

[creatingblackcharacters]

Hello! Sending it here again:

I play an mmo game which recently had a big character model update, it's still not perfect but we're getting there! They're sharing behind the scenes work on curly hairstyles, for example, which just... weren't there for the longest time. Oh the beauty of scandinavian white-centering... (sarcasm)

anyway, I'm from eastern-central Europe, I play on eastern Europe servers. Seeing someone with a character that's not white is... pretty rare, honestly. So rare that when I do see someone using a character that's clearly meant to be a POC, they're very often roleplaying. Recently I saw a player whom I know for a fact is white, as I know them irl (we're not friends, don't even talk much but I know what they look like) and their character used to be white too before the big update.

So my question is, does that count as digital blackface, and what even is the consensus on digital blackface as a whole? I used to be in a facebook group about unlearning racism (used to because it got deleted after some admin drama, I think? If anyone knows a similar group, let me know please) and there, most Black members agreed that if someone is white, they shouldn't be using Black emojis for example (the topic of mmos never came up, I think). I don't remember the exact reasoning but I think it was the same explanation as actual blackface. But then there were some Black people saying it's going too far and we should be focusing on "actual issues" instead. I know that's to be expected, I'm trans and I know all too well that a community is not a monolith. But seeing the player reminded me that I don't actually know that much about it, and I've seen you educate people before. I hope it's okay that I'm asking you, I'd love to do some further research as well though (I love learning things, I just also don't yet trust myself to find actually good sources).

I hope this ask makes sense, english is not my first language and all. So if I wrote something wrong, please assume I meant well, as I still don't know how to word things properly in english sometimes.

Thank you for doing what you do, btw. I really appreciate having someone compile everything like you do here, it's one of my favorite creative blogs on here.

Okay so I sat on this one for a minute to make sure my answer wouldn't change.

1) there is no one consensus. White people don't agree on everything, neither do we 😅. This would just be my opinion.

2) I definitely don't think you should be using Black emojis if you're a white person, no. That's overt Blackfacing. DEFINITELY don't pretend to be Black if you aren't!!

3) for me, I think designing your characters as Black for online play can be okay in theory, as long as you're coming at it respectfully. Like, I'd have to trust that you actually wanted to learn how to play as someone that didn't look like you, that you actually cared about Black character features and presence in games as a whole. Especially on a game where you get to design the character, versus when you're forced to play as a Black person. It's hard to trust the intentions of white people online, especially when far more often than not the good intent is just... Not there 😅. So for me, if someone asks you why you designed your character, be ready to answer, answer truthfully and answer well! If you're playing as a Black character design because "big tough guy" or "big dommy mommy" yeah you're just digital Blackfacing amongst other racist issues. But if you actually have good intent, and are willing to learn, then you'll be able to stand on that when confronted.

And again- that's just my opinion! I would listen to other voices on it as well.

[nose-rice]

OH MY GOD YES. YES YES YES. I mentioned this in my og post but with the whole Nuru being raised differently, I mainly focused on her being a girl and royalty. But being a black girl also plays a huge roll with the whole "you're either the mom friend, or sassy". I've seen her portrayed as straight up mean before which is personally infuriating to me.

And with Yong!! Like you said he's a pre-teen! While I certainly wasn't matured, I wasn't thinking surface level thoughts. You start to overthink, find yourself, and your rose-tinted glasses start to fade just the tiniest bit. He's more than just "wow.. ypu guys seem really sad," or "wow! I'm so happy my fireworks worked!" And him being the fat asian kid leads is also troubling like you said. He's never taken seriously beyond the surface level "I don't wanna bother you guys" It's just really sad to me because I see so much of myself in Nuru, and I absolutely ADORE Yong and his absolutely vibrant personality. I feel like he holds immense power when it comes to shifting the tone of the story since he's the main source of optimism in the group, which could also set up a character arc that deeper than one short little moment of introspection.

Also this is a more personal thing but as a mixed poc, I am STARVING for literally any fun cool story I love with MAIN poc characters with complex thoughts and arcs. And I mean the MAIN. STARS. I'm a little tired of seeing the white lead with their poc friends that serve them in every way, and if we're LUCKY, perhaps a poc love intrest, which we didn't get here lol. Ofc I still love them. I just have been craving more diverse characters that can be seen in a complex light, which is what started my whole Nuru rant (i love Nuru soso much)

And i do agree that part of it is the way the story was set up fundamentally, with there being almost no info on Nuru and Yong, and being centered more on the main white couple. But I think it's great that it was just a first draft, and Anna and Kay have said they enjoy seeing different interpretations and chages. It's just unfortunate that most people tend to grasp onto what we're given a little too much, and not exploring so many possible concepts. The whole point I feel was that it was an idea thrown out there to whoever wants to add on to it or simply just enjoy what's already there, but the fandom pretty heavily tilts toward the "enjoy what's given" side.

Not to mention DONELLA AND ULLA?? EVEN CYRUS!! I personally am biased towards Donella but I feel a lot of the things with her can be said for Ulla too. I feel that a lot of the time they serve as plot devices for Varian and Hugo respectively. Obviously they're all very important to eachother, but I wanna see more of THEM. Just Ulla. Just Donella!! There are some good fanworks and art out there that do dive deeper into them, at least a big chunk more than Nuru and Yong which is a little sad. But I feel like I never see any fanworks that focus on their backstory aside from the library and "sons". What about THEIR parents, where they grew up? Their little quirks and their cultures? I especially find the way some Donella redemptions feel half hazardly taped on for the plot infuriating because to get to her state, you have to be pretty set in you beliefs!!

And to be fair Cyrus is very much less involved as he is Don's "side kick" sort of? Bodyguard? It's up to interpretation. But I really like seeing people giving him a bigger role in stories. Like. PLEASE. This is more just me asking for things I personally wanna see but I sorta wanna see a found family dynamic between Cyrus, Hugo, and Donella. The "villain trio". I think it would be super fun! Love seeing people rant about this stuff because I never see it talked about!!

Guys I NEED to rant about my thoughts on Nuru because i love her <3 ramblings ahead

Like I feel like in almost every fic i read, she's just like, a side character that's there to make whitty remarks to Hugo and be the levelheaded one. If she has an insecurity or problem it's usually pretty surface level and solved quickly, or only mentioned once or twice. I think there are SO many aspects of her character that are so cool.

Okay first, I think we sometimes forget that she's a nerd just like the rest of the gang. Yes, on the outside she's definetly the most 'normal' one, but I think we should concider the fact that she's the only girl in the group, and she's literal royalty. She was raised with a completely different set of standards than the other three. I don’t think I've really ever seen anyone cover that. I feel like she would get called "mature for her age" when she's only 15/16, and almost always gets critisism when she talks back with her own ideas (like her concerns about the meteor shows for example). I feel like out on her journey, she would finally get the freedom to just be herself, and be a kid and be able to rant on about her intrests with the rest of the group. It could be a struggle at first, but it would be awesome to see her getting more comfortable with the group the longer they spend together! Nerds encouraging nerdy rants lol

Since she is a kingdom figurehead, you could also argue that she always has a lot on her hands (especially since she's very proactive when it comes to science and solving problems). This could bring up a need to be productive, or always feeling like she needs to make the right decision, even for the littlest things.

I also feel like a lot of the time she's potrayed as the "right" one, who is 100% right when it comes to stuff like arguing with Hugo. Since they're opposites when it comes to class, they often are compared through that lense. I think it's cool just having Nuru tell Hugo off for judging a book by its cover, but I feel like they have a lot more in common than they realize. I think it would be interesting to see Nuru judging a book by its cover too. Maybe not to the degree that Hugo does, but I feel like calling out both their judging would not only call out character flaws, but it also enforces that even though they hate eachother and would never want to be like the other, they have a lot of the same flaws.

Also, being sheltered in a palace her whole life, I think she might think kind of black and white sometimes, and while she knows when people are just being mean as an act, she might struggle when it comes to people like reformed criminals.

Maybe she's able to be meaner to Hugo because she justifies it by telling herself he's criminal, and therefore bad, possibly glossing over the reasons he might be like that (maybe it crosses her mind, but she tells herself it's not a good enough reason, because stealing is still stealing, and he literally steals EVERYTHING. Even little trinkets and stuff he definitely doesn't need!). When they find out about Varian's criminal history, maybe she reexamines her views on morality and how she used to see people, because by her standards, Varian is a 'bad guy' who's caused harm to SO many people, but he's also the kind, caring, helpful friend that she's been traveling with who would never willingly hurt anyone.

Moving on to Amber x Nuru, I honestly never find myself liking the ship because Amber isn't developed enough which is fine. I don't think every character has to be a magnificent work of art. Side characters are side characters, but their romance is usually written like: "wow that girl is cute! I have a crush now!" Which is cool, but then that's about as far as it gets, then timeskip! Or offscreen they're a couple now. I know it's a side couple so it won't have as much devlopment as something like Varigo, but I never really see their dynamic play out in different situations. Like I don't know how to explain it, but it feels like they solely exist to be a couple? Amber sometimes just feels like an extention of Nuru, and their relationship feels surface level a lot of the time.

I feel like too often she's just watered down to the nice, smart, grounded friend, and I don't know I just think there’s so much more to explore with her. She’s not just some side character. She's literally part of the main cast! Even in fanart I feel like she doesn't really get a lot of stuff besides funny art and just like, pictures meant to look pretty. Unlike something you get a lot with characters like Varian or Hugo.

And honestly I get it. Some characters you just don't take an intrest in. I know I find Varian, Hugo, and Nuru more relatable than I find Yong, but I feel like part of that is developing their characters rather than just seeing them on a surface level. Ofc there are exceptions and there are some stories that dive deeper into Nuru's character out there! I just happen to see this A LOT.

Wow i said "surface level" a lot didn't I 😭😭

Anyway thank you for reading my rant i wanna know what you guys think!!

[katuschka]

His Sugar-Dusted Skin – Part 1

Jake Kiszka x reader 5.639 words (Part 1)

So, After some consideration, I decided to split this one in two, because a) I promised to post it this weekend and it's not finished yet, and b) it might me too long. December's been a bit chaotic and as I said before, I've been struggling a bit with this one. So let me know what you think. Any feedback is much appreciated!

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction, intended for adult readers. Any resemblance to real persons is purely coincidental. Also, if you're under 18, go find some other entertainment elsewhere.

Warnings (are spoilers): alcohol consumption and heavy intoxication, mentions of the death of a close person (retrospective), allusions to a potentially promiscuous behaviour, some strong language, the twins being assholes (kind of... they're still cute), Jake's happy trail, I think that's it for now...

Oh, life…

How ordinary and boring it can get when you stick to thinking that there aren’t any other options. As far as I remember, conformity never made sense to me. And as far as I remember, I was being raised and forced to embrace it. My mind surrendered for a while, but my vagrant soul just kept resisting. I never wanted to fit in. I always wanted to fly.

When I left home three years ago, I didn’t take much with me. My parents didn’t approve of my choices and the only person who would’ve supported me in my decisions was already gone. My beloved grandma. She was the disruptive force that kept me on my toes, always challenging me in the most loving way, knowing too well that it was exactly what I needed. She gave me my first guitar, too. Even though sclerosis made her homeward-bound, her dreams and fantasies always kept her wandering. I loved that. She was always there to spark my imagination and in return, I wanted to be her legs and eyes one day. When I was little, my friends used to call her fairy godmother. “Keep your sails up sweetheart, the wind is whimsical.” That’s what she used to say. “All you need is that air in your lungs and love in your heart.” 

“You must never leave me, oma,” I said to her once. “I need that love in my heart forever.”

“Someone else will fill it, darling,” she replied. “I’m only here to make sure it is open. But one day, you won’t need me anymore.”

When she died, I lost my only reason to stay there. The world was slowly getting to its feet again and it was my turn to do the same. I had dreams that simply couldn’t be fulfilled at home. My heart was aching for adventure. So I packed my bags, just like they sing in old songs, slung my guitar over my shoulder and hit the road. A vagabond chick. 

As I came to Tennessee, all I owned could fit in my barely drivable car: literally just a few dresses, my phone, my modest savings, my old six string, my treasured voice and THE recipe. Aaaah, those were the days…

Who am I kidding? It was pretty rough at first. VERY rough, to be honest. I cried many nights. But the one thing my parents had taught me was to save money, and that helped me survive the first months, when I waited tables during the day and sang my ass off after dark. 

Many people never make it. Hell, even though I’m an optimist, I have to admit that most don’t. If you’re not strong willed and immune to shit, you’re most certainly destined to fail. I’ve seen way too many extra talented and broken people on my journey, just because they were too nice or too naive. Well, I’m not naive, but I’m definitely not a cold bitch either. I think I just got lucky, because I had my guardian angel with me the whole time. When she was still walking on earth, she absolutely loved the Beatles, With a Little Help from My Friends being her favorite song. My childhood memories are filled with those songs and how she sang along, and I believe that it was her doing that eventually turned this tune into the soundtrack of my life. I met a lot of fantastic people on my arduous journey towards my goals and dreams, and that’s how I got by. 

As a token of my gratitude, I baked cookies for them. My grandma’s famous linzer cookies. THE recipe. Fast forward a few years, I still keep doing that at Christmas. Apart from the fact that my friends simply demand it, it’s also my way of keeping her alive, to make myself feel like she’s still here with me… in a way. 

Back home, the whole neighborhood loved her art of baking. Me being her only granddaughter, she literally forced me to learn how to bake those linzer cookies – her own recipe, to be precise. Every time I rolled my eyes, while making annoyed noises, blowing raspberries and just being a little asshole about it in general, she simply smiled and said that one day I’ll thank her. Why – I asked – and she responded that one day it would bring me love. “Love goes through the stomach, my dear. Look at your grandpa. See how huge it is?” And then he smiled and kissed her hair and it always made me believe her.

Except it didn’t happen. At least not yet. It – however – gave me a semblance of home that I consciously chose not to have, but sometimes missed. 

Just last year, I decided to continue with the tradition my grandma  started back at home. “Love is a reciprocal game, my dear,” she said. “You get what you give, but do not lose yourself in giving.” 

They want my sweets? Fine! But let them show me how much. They have to “earn” it. At the beginning of December, I give my friends custom-made Christmas greetings, and if they want to receive their own little box of cookies, they have to send back a card of their own making. The first time was a success, and I ended up baking sweets for eleven people. And it didn’t stop there, as it earned me nine bottles of wine, a flacon of my favorite perfume and  a ukulele. All I really wanted was a thank you, but hey! I won’t say no to wine! So I decided to do it again, and this time I received seventeen cards, including three “masterpieces” from the members of the infamous Greta Van Fleet! Yeah, that’s right. While I still feel like I’m barely making it sometimes, I move in high-ish circles. El-oh-el. 

I met Daniel first, through a mutual friend, at one of the music clubs we frequented. He was actually one of the eleven buddies that helped me restart this Christmas tradition. Later I learned that he selflessly shared his portion with the rest of the group during a rehearsal he went to right after he dropped by at my place, and that’s how I got invited to one of their semi-private dinners. Dan kindly introduced me as “Joni”, which earned me two “woos” and one ironic smirk. To be fair, I didn’t like it either. It actually made me cringe, because the woman is an unattainable role model, but it was just Daniel being himself, aka the nice guy. Bless his soul. 

I went from an acquaintance with useful skills to a drinking buddy, because I’m good at that too. One of my less admirable strengths, but there are times when it comes in handy. Especially when a Johnny Depp wannabe from Middle-earth wants to outsmart you…

A year flew by and it was time to extend my offer to Sam and Josh, who made sure I wouldn’t forget them. Don’t ask me how. The video they sent me definitely had the potential to go viral. I wholeheartedly appreciate how much they trust me not to do that. 

They wouldn’t stop there, though. I had to laugh when I received their own precious hand drawn contributions. How sweet. They’re all so sweet actually… well, all except Jake. Aloof, taciturn and arrogant, that’s how he rolls. I’m pretty sure he just can’t stand me, because while he often laughs with others, he only ever laughs at me. His opinion on my baking goes hand in hand with what he thinks about my playing, preferring darker and more spicy shit, as he once put it. Well, whatever. He’s a colossal prick. 

It’s quite unfortunate that I’ve also had a colossal crush on him for quite some time now. As I said, I’m a vagabond chick, and he happens to possess all the right shit to lure me. Like a moth to a flame. And I got burned. 

See, oma? Not working. 

Well, I’m not the one to cry over guys, so I’m not going to lose my sleep over that. He can go fuck himself. (Someone else can do it. I swear he needs it.). 

Seventeen packages meant I was going to spend most of the Friday evening as well as the whole Saturday slaving in my kitchen. Thankfully, I really do enjoy doing this, so it’s simply an essential part of Christmas festivities. A good time spent with me, myself and Ella Fitzgerald. It’s still quite a lot of work though. 

Friday was just about making dough. It might seem easy, but you need to understand that in order to make enough cookies for 17 (!) people, I needed more than 5 lbs of flour, 3 lbs of butter, nearly 24 ounces of sugar, 23 egg yolks and zest from 6 lemons! I will say no more to protect the family secret, but you can see it takes a lot of effort just to put this all together. I take this very seriously. I don’t want to disappoint anyone. 

It had to be perfect. 

But alas! I couldn’t have known that one malicious and horny sprite who wanted me to spoil him with my art of baking was also going to sabotage my efforts in the most peculiar way. 

Once finished, I covered the dough with plastic wrap and put it in the fridge to let it rest overnight before I hopped in the shower to wash off the sweaty sugar crust that seemed to stick to every inch of my exposed skin. It was almost midnight when I finally managed to climb in bed, pleasantly exhausted and happy, only to be woken up by a frantic doorbell noise at around two am. A normal person would just freak out in such a situation, but knowing who that might be, I was already pretty much used to it as I lived nearest to their favorite bar. Our favorite bar, to be precise. 

Over time, they came to an agreement that my tiny apartment was a perfect place for nightcaps, the only problem being that the Kiszkas were usually quite loud about it, completely ignoring the fact that I had neighbors. Thankfully, this part of town is a bit specific in a sense that the said neighbors simply didn’t give a shit, with their own lifestyle not being much different. 

This is what I wanted. Friends, late night laughs, my life filled with music and hugs and kisses and peculiar outcomes of unpredictable events that could only lead to more hugs and kisses. 

There was this one time when Josh fell asleep on my couch while the others simply sneaked away giggling and left him there, spread-eagled and snoring his uvula off. Several hours later, I was woken up by the delicious smell of buttermilk waffles, served with maple syrup and a guilty, puppy dog stare. 

Simply put, they were (almost) always welcome here. Almost…

Sober, sleepy and disoriented, I was definitely in no mood for a late night party (or an early morning one… seriously Josh, wtf!), with all the baking lying ahead of me. I didn’t even have to guess if it was really them; I could already hear them the moment my heart calmed down a bit and I stepped out of my bedroom. Determined to chase them away with a rolling pin, I answered the door angrily and was nearly knocked down by the falling Oliver Reed who obviously decided to lean against it the very moment I yanked it open. 

It’s always intrigued me how the brain works in these situations, working so fast that the time seems to slow down to an almost comical pace. I watched in slow motion how his back slid against the wood, his arms flapping in the air in a futile attempt to regain balance. I could tell at the first fleeting glance that he wasn’t fit to keep his balance standing, let alone falling, so no wonder it was a completely lost cause. Some voice at the back of my skull tried to tell me to jump aside, but I was too mesmerized by the sight. Just when his shoulder hit me clumsily in the chest and I stumbled backwards, Josh finally managed to grab Jake’s arms to keep him from knocking me down completely. My rolling pin fell on the wooden floor with a loud bang that made my neighbor’s dog bark. Jake, now aggressively pinned against the corridor wall by Josh, only added to the ear-piercing nocturnal cacophony with his loud howls: “Whoa whooooa!” 

“Shhh, shut the fuck up, Jake!” Josh hissed through his teeth before he turned his concerned stare back at me. ��Y/N, sweetheart, terribly sorry hun! Didn’t mean too…” I could tell that he was tipsy as well, but it paled in comparison with the state Jake was in. I had seen him drunk many times before, with his glossy, beady eyes and unfocused stare that always made him look a bit like a teddy bear. This was new, though. He seemed absolutely plastered. 

Out of the imminent danger, but with my heart still wildly pumping adrenaline-enriched blood into my veins, I grabbed the doorframe first to support myself before I tried to make sense of what was just happening in front of me. 

They weren’t alone. Right behind Josh stood a guy whom I had seen a few times before, but I couldn’t recall his name. He looked slightly uncomfortable. “What the fuck, Josh!?!” I hissed. 

Josh immediately tried to win me over with the most sheepish smile he could muster, but his involuntarily cocked eyebrow betrayed him, which only made me more furious. “Dearest Y/N, we need your help, baby!” 

“With what? I asked incredulously. 

“I need you to take care of my asshole brother, pretty pleeeease.” 

“You what?” I goggled at him, completely taken aback by his impudent request. “Why can’t you just take him home?” Much to Jake’s annoyance, we kept discussing him and his imminent future as if he wasn’t even there, which only resulted in another outburst of his loud and incoherent babbling and our collective attempt to shush him before Josh answered.

“Because, I am not planning on going home, honey,” he whisper-shouted, hoping that I would just get it without him having to be too obvious. Yeah, I got it. It didn’t mean I was willing to help him. I looked at the guy again, who suddenly pretended to be very interested in the hallway lights. At that moment, the owner of the barking dog opened his own door to passionately inform us what we all were. I had no other choice than to hastily usher them all in.

“You can’t leave him here just like that? Are you out of your mind? Is this some kind of retribution for what he did the last time? Because it’s not funny. This is my home, and not a fucking sobering center! Just call him an uber,” I continued to protest once we were all safely inside my apartment, and that’s when Jake chimed in for the first time with something that made at least a bit of sense: “Yeah, ah-don’ wanna…,” he hiccupped before he could finish the sentence, making me even more incensed with the whole situation. He quickly tried to amend it, but it was too late. I was seething, my nostrils flaring. “...bother-er. Ah-don’ wanna bother-er! She’s…fierssshe!” he spat in Josh’s face, making him scrunch his face in disgust. 

“Well, you should have thought about not bothering people before you got so shitfaced,” Josh spat back, completely ignoring what I just said. “This is your doing.”

What? I shot a deadly stare at Josh. No, it was absolutely not Jake’s doing that they were now standing in my living room. And regardless of the fact that I had work to do – and he knew that – he also knew how I felt about Jake, and was now putting me in a very uncomfortable position. “Out! All of you!” 

I’m pretty sure I must have looked like Wrath personified, because Jake whoa’ed again and Josh seemed to finally acknowledge his misconduct. He grabbed my hands in his, suddenly looking like a meek puppy. “I’m sorry, babe. Don’t be mad, hun. I know this is too much to ask, but do this for a friend. I beg you…”

“No, I beg you Josh!” I tried to sound as calm and collected as possible through my gritted teeth, knowing that being just mad would get me nowhere. Josh was too stubborn to ever acknowledge someone else’s anger and boundaries meant nothing to him once you became his friend, which basically meant family. However, he was empathetic. “You know I have a lot of baking to do tomorrow. I’m tired. Just please, take him home.”

Josh bit his lip and he looked like he was trying to say something and NOT say it at the same time. It was late and I felt awfully tired, but the whole thing seemed a bit fishy to me. Just when Josh nodded and finally opened his mouth to respond, Jake grabbed his shoulder. “Ah need to pee, Jawshy boy,” he whined and swayed dangerously, pouting his lips at his twin brother. He was already in his teddy bear phase which meant that he indeed wasn’t fit to be sent home alone in an uber. He’d be knocked out in no time, and even if Josh went with him, he’d have a hard time just getting him out of the car. 

Josh glanced sideways at the guy, who had been pretending to be invisible the whole time, and then looked at me pleadingly again. I capitulated. “OK, take that big baby to the bathroom and I’ll fetch some blankets,” I sighed. 

Together, they helped Jake get comfy on the couch and he fell asleep before his head even touched the pillow. And me? I felt relieved when I finally closed the door behind them and everything became quiet again, disturbed only by Jake’s light snoring.

They were taking their time, so once I fixed the makeshift bed, it was just me and the guy standing in the middle of the room, waiting, and it was getting increasingly awkward with each passing second. “So, you’re Y/N,” he finally spoke.

“Yeah,” I answered curtly, confirming the obvious. “We’ve met.”

“But we weren’t properly introduced yet. I’m Martin.” I shook Martin’s hand politely without really wanting to, because I knew that if they were heading to his place instead of Josh’s, it probably meant that the chances I’d see Martin again were quite low. Yet another reason for me being annoyed. 

I poured him a large glass of water, squeezed some fresh lemon juice into it and placed it carefully on a small table right next to his head before I switched off the light, leaving just a small table lamp on, and went back to my bed, hoping to spend the rest of the night in peace and get some much needed rest. 

However, the fact that there was Jacob Kiszka, Sir, lying unconscious on my couch right outside my bedroom door, made it a bit difficult to fall back to sleep. I had never been in a situation like this and it made me feel unpleasantly agitated. I wasn’t afraid of him. I just didn’t trust my own feelings. 

I should have been angry. 

But I was not. Not exactly. Not anymore. My heart wasn’t beating wildly out of annoyance. Instead, I felt like a schoolgirl, trapped in an elevator with that annoying boy from music class who was also her crush. There were many conflicting feelings inside both my head and chest; and knowing that he probably wouldn’t remember how he ended up on my couch come morning only made it all worse. 

I finally dozed off, but morning came sooner than I wished it would, and with it a headache. It felt like just a brief moment, filled with restless dreams about me and Jake dancing on the rooftop to Golden Slumbers playing out of nowhere, with sugar snowing down at us and our hands sticky with jam. Then he smeared some on my cheek and peppered it with kisses…

When I opened my eyes, the feeling still lingered, like powdered sugar on the top of my tongue. Soft and weightless like snowflakes, yet it lay heavily on my chest. Together with the lack of rest, it made me feel almost hungover-ish. I lied unmoving for a while, listening to the silence that surrounded me and wondering whether he was still there. Maybe he already woke up earlier and quickly sneaked out after realizing where he was. 

It was unlikely, but I could hardly ever control these self-deprecating thoughts. Especially regarding men. I cursed Josh once again and decided to take a quick cold shower to wake up my senses.

It helped only just a bit. Refreshed, I opened my bedroom door carefully and peaked inside the living room. He was still there, and fast asleep. Slowly, I creeped up on him on my tiptoes, and then spent several long seconds just watching him sleep, before I started to feel like a complete lunatic. But… he looked so peaceful and almost angelic in the milky morning light, lying on his side with his hands folded under his chin, his lips parted and brows relaxed. The glass was empty, and I couldn’t help but smile involuntarily. Once there was a way to get back homeward…

Then I remembered that this was no domestic idyl. I just had a drunk rock guitarist on my couch, and – let’s be brutally honest here – once I got past that dreamy visual illusion, a strong olfactory reminder of this much more prosaic reality hit my nostrils. 

I also had several large chunks of dough in the fridge and a debilitating headache that almost made me question all my life choices.

No, it didn’t.

But all those things had to be taken care of and I had no idea how. I tried to be as quiet as a mouse at first, but after realizing that it could take at least a couple more hours before he’d wake up, maybe even half a day – the time that I couldn’t afford to waste – I took Josh’s previous advice and decided to just ignore him. 

I really needed coffee… to get the stupid dream, and the song, and all my delusions out of my head. Did I forget that he was also a big-headed asshole? Yeah, that’s the spirit. 

It turned out that my worries were groundless anyway. I could make as much noise as possible in my adjacent kitchenette and he wouldn’t even stir. The motherfucker really seemed to be losing his hearing from standing in front of those huge amplifiers and the malicious creature inside my chest chuckled at the thought. 

I took the dough out of the fridge and let it soften at room temperature while I made myself some coffee and started to get everything ready. Clanking of baking sheets, coffee grinder, squeaking cabinet doors…nothing seemed to disturb my sleeping beauty. I kept casting wary glances at him every now and then at first, but soon I got accustomed to the unusual situation and just immersed myself in my work. 

I had my very elaborate system. I could fit twenty cut pieces – meaning ten cookies – on one sheet, there was roughly enough dough for approximately thirty sheets, it takes ten minutes to bake AND I had only four sheets. You can see I had to be very systematic. Preparation is the key and every minor disturbance could be disastrous. Thankfully, I’m a master multitasker. Still, I prayed to all the known and yet to be made-up deities that nothing would happen. No more surprises, please and thank you. 

A few hours passed and the delicious aroma of lemon and vanilla started to fill the room. I was also sweating like a pig, rolling and cutting the dough in haste, always making sure I had enough sheets ready so that there would be no idle time. Focused on the task ahead, I didn’t hear him stir, and my heart jumped in my throat when I finally looked up and saw those beady eyes watching me intently. 

I tried to keep my cool, looking down again quickly. “Well, good morning,” I mumbled. It was almost midday. 

“Morning, Y/N…,” he choked out huskily and finally tried to stand up, which only resulted in him groaning in pain and slumping back immediately. Oh yeah, consequences…

“Do you remember how you got here?” I asked tentatively. 

“I wish I could say I do, but to be honest, I’ve no idea,” he breathed out with his eyes closed. “I was just hanging out with Josh and the next thing I know I’m lying on your couch at blue hour, feeling half dead.” He finally opened at least one eye, just enough to be able to see me.

I nodded and continued cutting the dough. I wasn’t going to make it any easier for him. The timer just chimed and I had to switch the sheets anyway. 

“So?” 

Did I just hear annoyance and impatience in his voice? Oh yeah, a hungover asshole is still an asshole. It shouldn’t have surprised me. “What?” I spat back over my shoulder.

“Care to explain what the fuck I’m doing here?” 

I don’t understand how he always managed to just smash all my buttons with one single blow, and once again he made me see red. I literally threw the next sheet in the oven and slammed the door shut with a loud bang before I turned around and lashed out at him. 

“Oh I wish I knew the answer. Be so kind and ask your precious brother who literally just pushed you through my door in the middle of the night, half-conscious and reeking of whisky, because he wanted to get laid. You’re welcome! Fucker…”

He blinked a few times, obviously taken aback. 

“I’m sorry Y/N.” The tone of his voice changed and for a split second I almost regretted my curtness. Almost. “Just let me call an uber and I’ll be out of here in no time,” he mumbled, checking his pocket, while I watched him struggle with secret satisfaction. That headache must have been hellish. Good. At least I wasn’t the only one. 

He suddenly frowned and started rummaging in all his pockets frantically, including the jacket haphazardly thrown over the armrest. “Where the hell is my phone… and my valet… and my fucking keys. Y/N…did you take my stuff?” 

“What? No! The last thing I’d wanna do would be to prevent you from leaving.”

We were watching each other warily, both equally confused. Then it dawned on him. “I’m gonna kill that scrawny little bastard!” Straightening up, he closed his eyes and tried to take a deep breath in a futile attempt to fight off his growing nausea as well as the rage that made his nostrils flare. 

My anger dissipated in an instant… or, to be more precise, it was instantly redirected towards his twin. “I don’t understand. Why would he do that? He knows how busy I am today,” I whined. 

Jake didn’t respond. Instead, he asked for my phone. I quickly dialed Josh’s number and handed it to Jake, because the timer chimed again. 

It went straight to voicemail. 

As I was stacking freshly baked pieces on a tray placed on the small kitchen island which also served as my dining table, Jake leaned against it right opposite to me, looking absolutely miserable. “What now?” 

Am I their mother or what? I couldn’t drive him, but even if I did, he still didn’t have his keys. I couldn’t even call him an uber to Josh’s, because I knew that scrawny little bastard wasn’t there. It became obvious that Jake was stuck with me for at least another couple hours. He kept watching, obviously still waiting for me to say something, but I didn’t answer. Instead, I just sighed and grabbed the rolling pin again, aggravated with both of them and feeling like their hostage, stuck in the middle of their infantile games. The time was ticking, with my perfectly planned schedule already disrupted.

“Let me at least help you,” he looked at me hopefully with those puppy eyes they both shared. Fuckers. Seriously. Quirks of the mischievous nature that at one point decided that one of them wasn’t enough. 

“I think you should take a shower first.”

It was a deliberate jab, and I expected him to retort back just like he always did. I did NOT expect him to widen his eyes in genuine horror. “Is it that bad?” 

I didn’t dare answer that question but my face betrayed me when I looked at him sideways and bit my lip. He grabbed the collar of his shirt and took one tentative whiff. “Oh my god, it is. I think I need more than a shower, actually. I smell as if I slept in a puddle of beer.” 

I immediately regretted that I let him sleep on my couch, but he looked completely bashful and embarrassed and my previous unwillingness to continue helping him was already in shambles.

“Ok,” I sighed and put down the cookie cutter. “Come with me. I have some spare sweatpants. Thankfully, my ass is just as big as yours, but it might be a bit too tight around the waist…”

“Excuse me?” he protested, but otherwise obediently followed me into my bedroom. 

“You’re right. My mistake. Yours is bigger,” I chuckled at my own joke while rummaging in my drawer, before throwing him a pair of my favorite grey sweatpants, an old, oversize flannel shirt and a clean towel. “Everything else you might need is in the bathroom. The washing machine’s down in the basement.” 

“Thank you. Uummm…do you, perhaps, have a spare toothbrush? For friends... and such?” He smiled cheekily, testing my patience once again. But to be fair, he couldn’t have known that there was a shortage of “and such” people ever since I met him, because I just wasn’t interested in anyone else for a while now. 

“Yeah, there’s a couple of them in the purple cabi… oh fuck!” I quickly excused myself, alarmed by the smell of something burning, because I forgot to set the timer…

Too busy trying to stave off the impending disaster in my kitchen, I barely noticed him sneaking around me on his way down to the basement. So, when he knocked on the door a moment later and I answered it, the sight in front of me threw me completely off-guard. Being no stranger to Jake’s exposed chest, there was a strange sense of novelty in seeing him in my own unbuttoned shirt. Paul started singing inside my head again, but only until my eyes involuntarily slid further down, putting the song to an abrupt stop, just like a torn magnetic tape.

I was right about the waist being too tight, which meant he had it pulled down well below his navel, and seeing his happy trail made me scream internally. 

And to top it all off, he still had the towel wrapped around his head. 

I was not prepared for the feral reaction he suddenly elicited deep inside my body, and I’m sure he noticed, judging by the cocky half-smile that followed. I quickly turned away before I would compromise myself further. 

“I made you some coffee,” I nodded towards the steaming cup waiting for him on the counter, while still not daring to look directly at him again. “... and there are some popsicles in the freezer.”

“Thank yo… popsicles?!?” I might as well have suggested cotton candy, judging by the look he gave me, making me feel like an idiot,  so I quickly explained: “Yeah, they’re perfect when you wanna get rid of a hangover. Orange’s my favorite.” I still felt like an idiot. 

“I’m feeling better now.” His tone was kind and friendly, for which I was grateful, and I could hear him smiling, with my eyes still fixed on the small yellow circles in front of me. “I think I’m getting a bit hungry, though.”

“I’m not cooking anything now, Jake!” I placed the last little yellow circle on the sheet with care, before I started kneading another chunk of dough frantically.

“No, I didn’t mea…”

“There’s instant ramen on the top shelf.”

“Jesus Christ.” 

“Yeah, whatever.”

“What are YOU going to eat, Y/N?”

“I don’t have time for such luxuries right now…”

“Y/N!” He was leaning against the counter desk right in front of me again. I hadn’t even noticed him sneaking so close again, so his sudden exclamation made me jump. “You have to eat something. Look, your hands are shaking.” 

Yeah, no shit. But I’m not exactly hungry. There was a huge lump in my stomach, making it quite full. I was getting lost in the sea of my conflicting feelings again when all of the sudden, he put an abrupt stop to it like a fierce wave that sent me crashing on the shore, as he lifted my chin up gently with his index and middle finger. “Look at me, Y/N. I am going to fix us a quick lunch, ok?” 

“Ok…,” I peeped meekly. 

Jake just nodded, bound his damp, uncombed hair in a makeshift low bun with the band he always wore on one his fingers just in case, and started rummaging in my fridge. “Allrighty then! What do we have here…,” he crooned cheerfully.

And just like that, Paul was back… lalalalala.

To be continued...

@thewritingbeforesunrise @fleet-of-fiction @writingcold @lvnterninthenight @its-interesting-van-kleep   @takenbythemadness   @edgingthedarkness @myownparadise96 @gvfstuddedmajesty @jazzyfigz @sanguinebats @josh-iamyour-mama @lyndz2names @wetkleenex-gvf @peaceloveunitygvf @cheersdannyx2 @fleetingjake @lizzys-sunflower @emojakekiszka @gvfmarge @Dayumclarizzel @lipstickittty @clownstarr @gretasfallingsky @musicislove3389 @i-love-gvf @psychedelectable @allof--mylove @sacredsparrow @hearts-hunger

[reorientation]

Just started on estrogen as an intersex woman because it turns out I never had any my entire goddamn life. I always identified as a lesbian, I love women, I'm in a long-term relationship with a woman, and that's not changed...

...But, oh my god.

Men smell so *bad*, but it's in such a *good* way. I don't understand it. This is completely opposite how I used to feel and I don't *get* it, and the worst thing is I'm a dominant?

And all I can think about is being pinned down and crushed. What is HAPPENING to me? Surely this cannot be normal, surely something has gone wrong?

I'm the one who's in control. I'm the one who takes control. I like women, I don't like men.

And god, for months now, I haven't been able to get off unless I'm thinking about some guy finding me, taking me, and me being *fixed*. Fucking me straight, making me a good girl for him, converting me. And it really is fixing, isn't it? I'm a bit broken and I need to be cured. I'm dripping as I write this. I've never dripped before.

Please either tell me this is unhealthy or help me feed it, because... wow. Please help make me worse, or make me better - I don't know which anymore.

It's obvious what's healthy and unhealthy here, isn't it? You went to a doctor and were told what you'd been missing your whole life - and then you went home, and took the drugs, and realized what you'd been missing your whole life.

There's something so pure about this! You knew who you were as a woman - and as a lesbian, and a domme - but you didn't know who you were meant to be. You got corrected - genuinely, medically! - and all of a sudden you discovered a deep, profound need to be a good girl for a man.

"I'm the one who's in control. I'm the one who takes control. I like women, I don't like men." -- but that was what was wrong with you, this whole time! This isn't inherent to having estrogen - nearly all women do, and they don't all feel like this - but as soon as it hit your bloodstream, it was all you wanted. What can you possibly conclude except that you were built for this?

You still love women, you still love your girlfriend - but for months now, either she hasn't made you come at all, or she's only made you come while you fantasized about a man fucking some sense into you. You only learned how to be dripping wet while imagining dripping a man's cum.

How could you ever look back? How could you try to return to the life you had before, now that you've seen how it was always wrong?

[rottenpumpkin13]

For Christmas, I would like some angst with a splash of comfort.

Affer a particularly gruesome experiment as a small child, Babyroth (maybe 5 or 6) comes across a holding cell containing Red XIII.

Sephiroth finally snapped after a session that left him quivering, nauseated, and wracked with unease. He'd thrashed and screeched when they attempted another blood draw, sending blood vials cascading across the steel floor, leaving several lab technicians nursing their wounds. Hojo had him confined to a holding cell "until you learn to conduct yourself as a proper specimen."

The cell was cold, furnished only with an uncomfortable metal bench, the confining walls pressing in like a suffocating box as Sephiroth cocooned himself in the corner. His unruly silver hair cascaded over his face as he kept his head bowed, eyes adjusting to the darkness while he vacant-mindedly kept track of the click of lab assistants' shoes against the corridor floor.

But it was the padding of paws across the corridor that drew his attention. Sephiroth unfurled slightly, eyes straining through the gloom, curiosity piqued.

Sephiroth couldn't identify its species. All he knew was that it was unmistakably young, notable by its childlike movements, the nervous flick of its burning tail, and the inquisitive tilt of its head as it studied Sephiroth with equal fascination.

"Your hair looks like starlight," the creature suddenly spoke, its voice clear and young, sending Sephiroth practically leaping from the bench in surprise.

"You... you can talk?" Sephiroth whispered.

The creature's tail swished playfully. "Of course I can talk!" came the reply, tinged with a hint of pride. "I am Nanaki. And you are the one they call Sephiroth."

"Just Sephiroth," he confirmed, finding an unexpected comfort in this strange dialogue. "I've never seen anyone like you before. What are you?"

Pride straightened Nanaki's spine as he declared: "I am of a proud tribe from Cosmo Canyon," though his posture quickly softened with homesickness. "Though I am far from home now."

"Cosmo Canyon?" The words felt foreign on Sephiroth's tongue. His world had always been bounded by windowless walls, the sharp bite of needles, raining routines, endless tests, endless expectations.

Nanaki's eyes brightened as he settled onto his belly. "It's the most beautiful place in the world," he began, his voice rich with longing and admiration. "The canyon walls are red like the sunrise, reaching up toward the sky. At night, the stars shine so bright you feel like you could touch them. My grandpa, Bugenhagen, knows all their names and the stories they tell."

Sephiroth edged closer. "There are stories in the stars?"

"Oh yes! There are stories all around us! They teach us about the Planet, about life, about how everything is connected." Nanaki's voice grew animated as he painted pictures with words: warm winds dancing through the canyon, the rhythm of festival drums, the intoxicating taste of freedom on the night air.

Hours slipped by as they talked. Nanaki spoke of his people's sacred duty as canyon guardians, of planetary studies that sought to understand rather than exploit, of communities bound by love instead of scientific curiosity.

When morning came and the lab assistants came to collect Sephiroth, he hesitated, looking back at his newfound friend. In a world where survival was never guaranteed, goodbyes weren't possible and promises empty. Instead, Sephiroth offered a small wave, and Nanaki's tail blazed briefly brighter before they separated.

Neither could have known that their next meeting would come decades later, when fate would place them on opposite sides of a conflict.

But for one precious night, they were simply two children sharing stories in the darkness.

[blossoms-phan]

as a post-comeback phannie all of the self referential lore and nostalgia is kind of the best part for me. when i started watching them i genuinely didn't know anything about them beyond 'the people tumblr shipped who ended up being gay' and obviously the videos are all fun and entertaining but the thing that makes me insane is the twelve layers of lore and meta-narrative surrounding everything they do, and the whole we know you know of it all. there's just so much of it and every time i find a new piece i feel like a historian piecing together ancient documents trying to figure out what's been going on for the past 15 years. both in terms of their relationship (every day i discover a new piece of 2009 history that causes absolutely lethal psychic damage) but also just like, sometimes they post a new video and i get to learn they're a canonical part of the lion king universe and incorporate that into my worldview.

in terms of comparing them to their old selves, when I go back and watch old stuff sometimes they both (but especially dan) seem so, like... rigidly controlled and tense in a way that is just SO striking to me as someone whose main frame of reference for them is post-hiatus dapg. like to me the happy, out gay dan we have now is the default dan and sometimes i stumble across old clips of him and just get sad. free him from the closet :(

also when they released the pinof reaction videos I didn't even know what pinof was, but between then and now i've gotten so fucking phanniepilled i actually gasped when i got the notif for the amazingdan reaction lmao

hi anon!! thank you so much for taking the time to share, I love having insight into a perspective of them as a viewer that is so different to my own experience. as a longtime phannie who is also on the side of like someone who is now an adult but just a kid when i started watching them and basically grew up with them the way I experience fandom is sooo different now compared to like, 2016, and though the old lore and analysis of everything they do was always like there I hadn’t participated or been part of this whole meta-introspection of what they share until now and it truly feels like we’ll never run out of things to say about their sheer soulmatism- also phannies are just very smart and cool and it feels like there’s a certain level of intellectualism that plays into phannieism fr. also yeah there is just… SO much lore like you will literally see people who have been around forever being like I have never heard or seen this before and they are seemingly always prepared to emotionally devastate us or at least gives us crumbs to suck up with new little tidbits.

in terms of their past selves yeah, it is so lovely to experience them at their happiest and most carefree and comfortable and quite honestly healed versions of themselves now but the difference in old videos is stark. some are really genuinely sad to see but another thing is that someone who grew up watching them I can’t quite break out of being able to find any content from that time comforting still, and it’s nice to still be able to pick out the happy moments from some of the more rigid ones.

that is SO funny to me lmaoooo but im so glad you’re here in the trenches with us. welcome, you are possibly never leaving now, the cat whiskers are forever <3

[moonspirit]

Annie was stuck in the crystal during the time that puberty would hit her the most. How does coming back from the crystal AND losing titan powers affect her? I was wondering what are your thoughts about it. Does her body change afterwards or not? How does she feel about it? Whats her reaction to getting her first period/PMS? How are the girly talks with Pieck? Did Armin notice the change and/or sense Annie's worries related to the lack of it?

Hello anon!

I've spoken about this a few times in the past so in case you haven't seen those posts yet, they're here if you're interested :O~

the whole age discourse

the growth discourse

Annie being malnourished and a HC that she develops agoraphobia.

Tho to put it simply, my thoughts are that she suffers from weakness, tiredness and exhaustion post losing the titan powers and this lasts for quite a while. Something about the strain of carrying the power inside her all this time that makes itself known only once its gone. Imo she probably also suffers from insomnia and *some* binge eating tendencies.

Tho I've always thought that post-canon she's likely to maybe gain a bit of healthy weight and perhaps even grow an inch. The fact that we saw her stunted at the pre-timeskip height means we will never know if Annie's was always destined to be a short person through her genetics or if she's just that way because of the crystal with potential to grow more post-canon, or if the crystal irreversibly damaged the possibility of that ever happening - but it's fun to think about any which way xD I personally like to imagine she does gain an inch!

As for what she feels regarding this, hmmm, not a lot because her skillset has always mattered more to her than physical attributes and this attitude is here to stay, but if we talk about post-canon Annie who's hit by a 10000 tonne truck of new feelings and emotions, then it won't be too wrong if I say it makes her insecure sometimes???

Coming to the whole period thing - I have a very very specific hc about this, and it is that she doesn't get them until her powers are gone haha xD It's just an idea of mine but playing around with some vague titan science and biology ideas, the shifter powers do not prevent her puberty from kicking in, per se, but rather that it "wicks away" the physical aches, pains, and bleeding. So Annie experiences a normal period as we know it, only post-rumbling. (If you're a reader of VBEOW this is actually a major and recurring point of discussion and there's a lot of involvement of Armin and Pieck in this subject!)

As for girly time with Pieck, ahahaha xD Omg post-canon Pikuani is one of my favourite things ever, because I really REALLY love thinking about these two finding comfort and friendship and "sisterhood", shall we say? in each other after all this time being separated. With Annie's aloof personality, it's just my hc that during her training years before being sent off to Paradis, she didn't really get to "bond" with Pieck. But post-canon? So much time to get close and silly and confess some of their deepest feelings to each other, under the reassurance that, here is someone just like me who has all the pains I do and will understand me :>

[crivalsduo]

Creature creature au questions:

1) since Dream is considered a monster is Techno a human form then? Or do Minecraft hybrids not count as "monstrous"?

2) is it "just" because his wings have been mutilated that Dream doesn't want Techno to remove his prison shirt or is there more of his creature features (heh) that's hidden? Like gills? Or spikes down his spine?

3) when they get out will they split up as in canon? Did everything before the prison happen as in canon or is the reason he's in the prison different? (Is it because they found out what he looked like and got scared?)(Did they have an easier time seeing him as a horrible person when they found out he wasn't human?)

4) with how thin and long Dreams limbs are is he able to move himself in ways that are not quite right? Is he able to get into too tight spaces? (Is he fun to cuddle?)

5) when Phil sees what happened to Dreams wings, how will he react? What will he do?

6) How do the other members of the syndicate react to Dream? Both how he looks but also what happened to him?

7) does Dream have any weakness from his species? Like how endermen gets hurt by water? Or a species bonus? Like how blazes are immune to fire damage?

8) Does his species have a name? Is he the only one? Will he ever meet others of his species?

9) what will happen to Sam and Quackity when everything is over? What punishment will they get :)?

10) What are Dreams relations with his old friends? Did they know what he was before?

(I have gotten a new fave au of yours :3 the Trans love of creatures™)

1) since Dream is considered a monster is Techno a human form then? Or do Minecraft hybrids not count as "monstrous"?

yeah, this is actually a thing i've had in my head for awhile! that while some people can be weird about hybrids, they're generally seen as mostly.... people. not really human but a sort of person. techno himself tends to lean more towards Not A Person since he has fewer human features than like, say c!tubbo with his goat horns. c!ranboo would also be considered that.

dream in this au has very few human features except for a general shape so people are quick to label him as not human or a monster.

2) is it "just" because his wings have been mutilated that Dream doesn't want Techno to remove his prison shirt or is there more of his creature features (heh) that's hidden? Like gills? Or spikes down his spine?

he has a bit of... 'armoring' on his spine, i guess? i pulled from dinosaurs and the existence of shulkers and sniffers. so there's some plating that covers his spine. it almost looks like white-ish rocks poking out from moss because there's a layer of green fur covering his back.

3) when they get out will they split up as in canon? Did everything before the prison happen as in canon or is the reason he's in the prison different? (Is it because they found out what he looked like and got scared?)(Did they have an easier time seeing him as a horrible person when they found out he wasn't human?)

dream is pretty insistent on going through with his plan to split up when techno leaves the prison. but that never actually happens because after techno disappears, sam ends up getting paranoid about the whole thing and doesn't want to lose his 'research subject' in dream so the rescue goes down a lot differently.

and yeah, one of them is the fact it's a LOT easier to vilify and hate dream because he's just.... creepy and weird to others. he can turn his head much like an owl, for example. he also has an insane vertical jump range and can cover a pretty wide distance in a leap (it's the rabbit legs/feet). people find him frightening and that colors things.

4) with how thin and long Dreams limbs are is he able to move himself in ways that are not quite right? Is he able to get into too tight spaces? (Is he fun to cuddle?)

continuing from above, yes! he tends to move in ways that read as strange or not right. he's done his best to hide that, though. as soon as he realizes how weird he comes off, dream tries to change how he moves to be more 'normal'

also, he IS fun to cuddle. everyone thinks techno is nuts for that but techno likes cuddling dream. there's something kind of sweet about the way dream wraps around him, like he never wants to let techno go. it's adorable as far as techno is concerned and just. makes him feel really wanted, y'know?

5) when Phil sees what happened to Dreams wings, how will he react? What will he do?

i think phil sympathizes. he didn't lose his wings fully like dream did and can't really imagine what that'd be like but he did lose his ability to fly and it's kind of hard not to feel bad for dream in that moment.

at first, though, he doesn't really do anything. he's skeptical about dream and really only putting up with him because of techno. that does change once he gets to know dream.

6) How do the other members of the syndicate react to Dream? Both how he looks but also what happened to him?

because techno and ranboo both veer closer to 'not human', the syndicate takes his appearance pretty much in stride. it's not really what they expected (though ranboo isn't surprised by the sharp teeth) but they don't judge him, really.

and whatever they might think about dream, no one deserves to be tortured.

7) does Dream have any weakness from his species? Like how endermen gets hurt by water? Or a species bonus? Like how blazes are immune to fire damage?

not really, to be honest. he can jump pretty well, he can see well. his tail is prehensile so that gives him so abilities that most people don't have.

i think regulating his body temperature in the prison gets difficult, though. he doesn't sweat like a typical person and with the heat from the lava and the cold from the obsidian, he definitely struggles a lot.

8) Does his species have a name? Is he the only one? Will he ever meet others of his species?

i've been wavering on this, honestly.

i do think he's the only one, though. but this is one of those things i don't have a solid backstory for yet. part of me wants to play with dreamXD and admins on servers.

9) what will happen to Sam and Quackity when everything is over? What punishment will they get :)?

they'll get what's coming to them.

the more that's revealed of what they did to dream in the prison, the angrier that techno gets. there was torture, yeah, but there was also a lot of experimenting. techno finds dream after he leaves the prison in sam's research lab which is like. hey! he's not being tortured i guess but it's absolutely terrible.

10) What are Dreams relations with his old friends? Did they know what he was before?

they knew, yeah! but they're not..... it's difficult. there's a pretty big divide between them now and it's not exactly something that's repairable, y'know? not for lack of wanting on all their parts. sometimes that's just how it is and that's the tragedy.

[stupidlittlespirit]

Hello!

Sorry if this has already been asked before, but do you have any tips for writing Ford?

Thank you and I'm sending you a virtual hug <3 🫂

Hey!

Thank you so much <3

I'll put some of the stuff I find helps me below here. I find it really hard to describe sometimes so if it doesn't make sense or if you want clarification then let me know :)

Be familiar with the source material. This might sound silly but I've seen fics where the a/n is like 'yeah I haven't read Journal 3 or finished the show but I wanted to write-' .....Please. Just. Finish the show and the Journal. The Journal gives you TONS of useful insight into Ford's actual personality and I think you see a lot more of his mannerisms in it. Rewatch his episodes. Use what you've got of canon stuff.

Watch other stuff with JK Simmons in. It'll be helpful for you to pick up how he sounds and then make it easier replay his tone in your head and make your dialogue more accurate. I don't actually know how helpful this tip is bc I brought this up to my partner (RE: Hearing the character's exact voice in your head as you write) and they said this isn't really something people do, so I'm not sure if I'm alone in that technique or not....? (also sorry Mr Simmons but a lot of your movies are d o g s h i t! So, suffer through them as much as you can for the sake of research. Whiplash isn't in the bad pile though btw, it's one of the greatest movies ever made. Just watch that 14 times in a row until you can quote the entire thing by heart. Or use Portal/Cave Johnson audio. Much more fun.)

Know the Ford you're writing. Is he younger, likely at college? Is he research-era? Is he post-portal? Ford presents (at least to me) as multiple different versions of himself over the course of his journey. He has fundamental traits but the degree to which he displays/shows/acknowledges/applies them varies dramatically depending on where he is in life and who he's around.

Balance him. He's strict and sharp and sometimes rude, but not so much that he's devoid of all other emotion. He's funny and he likes to get silly sometimes. We're literally told that exact thing (quite a lot actually) in the canon material. This is especially relevant if you're writing post portal Ford or pre-Bill/pre-obsession-with-work Ford. Again, he isn't all the time but he definitely is more than people give him credit for. If you're writing Ford during his Bill obsession stage then he's going to be erratic and harmful, more than anything to himself. He's going to be acting poorly because he isn't in his right mind, so extend some sympathy to the guy. You don't have to make it okay that he might be lashing out and hurting others, obviously, but there's a reason behind why he's acting like that. He isn't just 'a bad guy'.

However, he is also an asshole sometimes. Everyone can be. He's very diverse. This diva HAS the range! (He experiences the world in a very different way to most other people, I think, so his behaviour can be perceived as difficult to 'normal' people).

Ford is never one emotion at a time. No character is. If he's angry, there's going to be a reason behind that anger and then several emotions behind that reason. Is he telling someone off because he's intrinsically and irrevocably an asshole? No! He might have been afraid of them getting hurt and snapped at them, and the fear shows as anger. Maybe he's frustrated with them and doesn't know how to appropriately address that frustration. There's always a reason.

If he is just being a bit of jerk, because that's plausible, it's not going to be the case that every time he does something that can be perceived as being jerky, that he is being so.

He is very full of love. For his family, for his work, for his friends, for his object of affection (these tips apply to him in general, if you're writing ship stuff or reader stuff or gen). He is full to the brim with it, he just struggles to identify it, to know how to show it and how to express it.

I think that for Ford, acknowledging his feelings is a bit like touching a hot stove: He recoils from them immediately because feelings are painful and intense, and they're hard to handle. They hurt and he's going to be loathe to keep touching the thing that reliably burns him every time he goes near it. Ford isn't very good at being bad at things and he IS bad at emotions. Really bad. They're not finite or logical or able to be proven like science is. They're artistic and available for interpretation, and they're often nonsensical. That's hard to get your head around for someone who likes to view everything from a black and white perspective.

If you think he has a disorder (autism, BPD, NPD, HPD, whatever) and you yourself don't have that thing, then RESEARCH THE FUCKING THING! Ask people who do have it for advice. Treat it with respect. People that have 'negative traits' from these types of disorders (and believe me, people do think you're awful if you have a personality disorder or autism) are not inherently bad people and them enacting their symptoms doesn't make them evil, provided they know how to acknowledge their wrongdoing post behaviour and try to do better in the future. If I split on someone and act out by starting a fight, it is my responsibility to return to that person and apologise for inappropriately starting a fight once I've cooled down. It can be hard, it can be done through gritted teeth, it will be uncomfortable, but it must still be done because I'm an adult. Obviously, when it comes to things like this, we're always working on a sliding scale because people with complex mental health issues don't always know they've made a mistake so they may not feel like they need to apologise/may not even know that they've done something wrong if they're in a really bad episode. That's difficult to get right however, and I would not recommend writing intensely detailed stuff like that unless you're very used to/accustomed to the disorder.

HE KNOWS HOW TO SAY SORRY and he knows when he's fucked up. This is a skill he's learnt better over time. I think it would be most relevant to use if you're writing him post-portal, though. I don't think this was a skill he had when he was younger/pre-portal and if he did apologise, it was something that had to be really dragged out of him.

Show that he's tender and capable of empathy. I think it was only really during his obsessional years that he locked off that part of his brain, and even then it was more out of pure delusion and trauma/self-protection than it was an inherent drive to be evil. He's never been evil, just misguided, betrayed and a bit of an ass at times.

He does more through action than through talk. In comparison to Stan, who is all mouth and uses verbal communication frequently, Ford is more physically inclined. He tries to be very esoteric but he gives away a lot in his behaviour instead of talking. I don't actually think he knows he does this and that's why he thinks he's super mysterious.

If you're stuck on a scene, play it out as him. Not yourself. It's not so much how am I going to do this, but how is Ford going to do this? What do you think Ford would do in that moment, according to what you've seen him do in the show?

Don't be afraid to make your own Ford, to a certain extent. I'm not writing about a strictly canon!Ford. He's informed by canon for the most part, but he's also my little barbie to dress up and be silly with. I don't necessarily have to solely make him do what I think his canon counterpart would do. I think canon!Ford is aroace/just not interested in romantic or sexual relationships. I don't think he has interest in much of the stuff that my fanon!Ford does, but this is fantasy land and Ford isn't real so we can do whatever we want. He'll feel more real if you give him his canon traits and then add some of your own spices to the recipe on top.

Be nice to him. This isn't advice, I'm just begging you LMAO. When you're writing him talk about his science stuff or whatever, have your other character (reader, I presume?) be engaged and happy to listen to him. I wouldn't be interested in someone who annoyed me with their passions, so don't write it as though he pisses you off because the audience can tell if you don't actually like him that much. They will pick up on how you really feel about a character as the author unless you're an excellent liar and it's really hard to actually lie like that and retain a sense of genuine love in your story. Just treat him with love and care. Treat any character with it.

Okay anyway WHEW that's a lot! Sorry. These are just things that I do and they're not my view of how to write Ford 'correctly' or anything, they're just what I find helps me characterise him for my fics. I'm sure plenty of people would disagree with my interpretation and that's fine, we're all receptive to art in different ways so there's not really a 'right' way to be for the most part. Just listen to what he tells you/shows you about himself and the way in which other characters speak about him truthfully.

[fromchaostocosmos]

I grew up hearing about intermarriage would lead to the death of the Jewish people.

I don't agree with that with thought process.

I understand how that thought process came about which is from a place of fear and that fear is valid.

That is where is stops for me. There is nothing wrong with validated the root emotion it is how one acts on those emotions that is what is key. If one acts on that emotion in way that hurts others then that is not okay.

The fear is valid and I understand how this, wrongful, conclusion is made. The problem is the wrongful conclusion is hurtful and not actually helpful.

Through out Jewish history intermarriage did not mean a coming together of in mutual understanding and respect of each other traditions and cultures. Rather it meant the Jewish person no longer being Jewish and converting to something else, often by force and usually Christianity or Islam.

Then any children of such marriage having no ties to to Judaism, the culture, and the community.

So this was seen as a death of sorts.

Now as I've discussed before as to why Judaism switched from being passed by either parent to the Rabbis decreeing it would be passed by the mother: to a make a very long story short it was done for 2 major reasons.

{It first started as a way to protect mother and child in the cases of where a women was raped and chose to keep the child because it was very common for Jewish women to be raped, especially during the Roman Occupation, by our occupiers and colonizers. It was a way to say you and your child are still a part of us.

The second came from as we were taken further and further away from the our Homeland and thus more scattered it became harder and harder to keep track of people's family trees and it got even worse when due to pogroms and expulsions families got split apart. So while records of who a father might can get lost, it is much easier to keep track of who was pregnant and when thus fully solidifying Judaism is passed via the mother.}

But we live in time we record keeping and lineage tracking is very different then it used to be and where thanks to technology we can find this information and keep it safe.

There is no reason for us to have this be the rule anymore. It should go back to Judaism is passed by either parent in the eyes of Rabbinical Law.

So there this additional fear that that if the Jewish son has children with someone who is not Jewish then the grandchildren will not be Jewish and thus there is that feeling of like an ending of this Jewish line.

Right so as said very valid emotions. But what often ends up happening is that they will push the son on the relationship and the feels it is toxic and cut off the parents and then the grandchildren have nothing to with the Jewish side of the family all of which was preventable.

Also intermarriage today has a different meaning and understanding then what it used. In a healthy relationship there will equal respect for the Jewish partner's Judaism and all that it entails.

So in truth it is not a death.

Sadly some don't know or understand this because they never get educated any differently and I can speak from the perspective because it took me a while to get over that mindset of intermarriage=death. I had to learn and also seeing what real life actual intermarried couples looked made a huge difference.

Because the only other place I heard or saw intermarried couples other the fear I had instilled in me was movies and tv shows. And those just reinforced that fear because all those movies and tv shows that Jewish partner was that hardly Jewish, but drop in xmas special type of deal or have their Jewishness and Judaism played for laugh type of thing that Hollywood loves to do.

So hearing about and seeing real life intermarried couples and just how normal and regular, which I know is weird thing write sorry, they were was a massive deal for me. Hearing the Jewish partner talk about still being very Jewish and very involved in their community and if they have children their children being a part of it was huge.

Which is why my concern is more along the lines of do you make each other happy, do you bring out the best in each other, are you good to each other, do you respect each other, for when people are in a relationship (if I know them otherwise it is not my business) then anything else.

I saw a mutual talk about how some jews are weird towards intermarriage and I want to discuss it.

I am firmly of the belief, that it is fine for jews to marry non jews. It would be weird if I wasn't as my parents are an intermarriage.

Like firstly, it is weird as fuck to want to control who someone marries who fucks. As long as everything is legal and consensual, it is no one's business bar the people involved.

Secondly, it simply isn't really that possible for everyone???? Like some of us live in countries with small jewish communities.

I, a lesbian, only know of 3 other Sapphic jews. Am I supposed to just marry one of them, regardless of if I'm attracted to them and they're attracted to me? If I don't like any of them, or none of them like me, am I supposed to just stay single forever?

what am i supposed to do? Go on a lesbian pilgrimage around the world to find a jewish girlfriend?????

(Honestly as a concept that does fuck, but it should be a choice not something I have to do).

Also like, a jew is a jew is a jew. It doesn't matter if you have one non Jewish parent. Your jewishness does not get fucking disintegrated upon birth if you have one non Jewish parent.

[mwagneto]

yaz queen of evasive action