#I love drawing my characters with beef shirt

[rosie-lav-art]

Some doodles for you all to enjoy.

Plant parent Juice

Disappointed Rizzy

Superhero landing Rizzy

And a focused Montieth. He loves checkers.

[writerpey]

Regressor Carmy Berzatto

I haven’t seen ANY agere content for the bear! and you know what they say… if you want a thing done, do it yourself. so… here’s an incredibly long post all about carmy as a regressor! side note: this is probably my favourite agere piece I’ve ever written. I just love the show so so much and understand carmy’s character very deeply (TW for bereavement, anxiety, typical carmy things etc etc)

Carm regresses for blatantly obvious reasons. His tumultuous family structure both before and after Mikey’s death, his time spent in New York under a verbally abusive head chef, and his overall inability to cope with it all. There’s a deep longing in him to go back to a time before he knew something was terribly wrong with both his family and himself.

He started regressing for the first time when he moved away from home to New York. Carm started paying more attention to the haze that would cover his eyes and grip his heart tightly when he felt so anxious it’d make him sick, his confusion from the familiar sensation of panic fading interchangeably into an odd feeling of comfort that he simply didn’t have the strength to hold off. As he spent more time working in NY, the feeling grew and grew, until one night he found himself coming out of his haze and realizing (as if a lightbulb appeared above his head) that feeling like a kid again, feeling small, helped the hurt in his heart go away, if even for a moment.

Carm started regressing in small ways. He’d make a comfort meal that reminded him of good times spent with his mom, or he would have the TV playing cartoons in the background as he perfected a veal consommé. He lied to himself about it in the beginning, convincing himself he needed the noise of the television to replicate what being in the kitchen was like, or that he wanted to see if he could perfect his mother’s recipes.

He didn’t truly understand how deep his regression went until Mikey passed. The child inside him cried out for his big brother, in desperate heaving sobs that left Carmy in a ball on his living room floor and his fingers in his mouth. Carm spent many nights battling horrid panic attacks by curling up on the cold floor in this manner.

And so while The Beef was sinking and Carmy was in charge of it all, he stayed afloat amongst his nightmares and reality which was the nightmare by regressing.

Carmy is a sweet, quiet and stuttering little. Always a shy boy, from his childhood onwards, he’s the least likely person to tell anyone about his regression, let alone his anxiety and trauma. So he spends most of his time regressing alone. Carm loves to draw and colour and make art when he’s regressed, usually sketching his favourite cartoon characters or funky dish ideas that come to mind even when he’s small. Most of his works of art end up crumpled and thrown in the trash because of his self-conscious nature, but occasionally he’ll be very happy with his work and he’ll put it away at the bottom of a drawer somewhere to look at when he’s little again.

He’s also keen on cooking when he’s little, but doesn’t do a very good job at it. His patience is even shorter than when he’s big, and his attempts at cookies have ended up in frustrated tears and an empty stomach. Carm has a tough time getting enough to eat when he’s regressed, and so he ended up freezing portion-sized meals that are simple for him to warm up when he’s feeling small.

Because Carmy is naturally shy, he has a difficult time accepting some of his traits and desires when he’s regressed. He doesn’t have anything child-like aside from a plush puppy that he keeps stuffed away in his dresser under a thousand white t-shirts, and it only comes out on nights when he’s feeling significantly smaller than usual. Its ears have been chewed at and its stuffing is lumpy, but Carm would rather set fire to his restaurant than walk into the children’s aisle of a store and buy another plushie.

Carmy is an emotional little. When he’s happy or excited his eyes practically twinkle and sparkle, and when he’s upset or embarrassed he turns red from his ears to his neck and his eyes prickle with hot tears. A tell-tale sign that he’s about to cry is when his bottom lip trembles or he runs to hide somewhere. Being in a small, dark space makes Carm feel safer to cry.

Nat and Richie are the only two people who truly know about Carm’s regression. He told Nat, in a longwinded roundabout way that made half the sense he wanted it to, but Richie found out by coming over uninvited and interacting with a Carmy who was half regressed and half trying to act like his usual self. A screaming match about Richie being an everyday asshole and Carmy being a stubborn asshole ended with embarrassed tears running down Carmy’s face and a rather shocked Richie. Richie drew Carmy into his arms and apologized while Carmy failed in shoving him off and instead quietly accepted the comfort.

Carm’s regressed at work before, a prospect drawn on by a panic attack outside during his break from being overstimulated in the kitchen, alongside the impending feeling of doom that came with the thought that he wasn’t good enough to be at the helm of anything, let alone Mikey’s lost dream.

Upon coming back to the kitchen, he completely shut down, frozen in place with his eyes focused on nothing, his mind somewhere else. Richie’s concerned utterances of ‘cousin’ and the feeling of his hands patting his face and shaking his shoulders brought him back to the surface, his eyes wide and terrified when he looked up at Richie. One glance around the kitchen to see Syd staring at him with a mixture of pity and concern made a garbled, strange sort of whine leave his throat, and Richie immediately led him back outside. The older man knew what was going on when Carmy declined a smoke with a jerky shake of his head, and called Nat to take him home.

Nat doted on Carmy like a mother when she got him settled into his apartment, the younger completely silent and meek as she bustled around his bedroom, fluffing pillows and bringing him hot tea that he accidentally sloshed all over his sheets. She uncovered his plush puppy from under one of his pillows and he had smacked it out of her hand while holding the tea. He practically cowered when she stared him down angrily, and reluctantly accepted the puppy when she picked it up and pushed it into his arms with a resounding, “that wasn’t very nice, Carm.” It’s safe to say Carmy didn’t call her for over a week afterwards, ashamed to have let her see him in that state. Telling her about his regression by no means meant that he would ever feel ready for her to really see it. His puppy was back to being jammed in his dresser in no time. But Nat was more than happy to be able to take care of her brother, content with seeing him deal with his feelings in a way better than fading after a panic attack and cussing out his employees and chain smoking. It did break her heart a little to see him so much like the baby brother she once knew, but it wasn’t as if it was unfamiliar territory to take care of him.

Carmy’s regression took on another layer when he decided to close The Beef and start fresh. Syd seemed to make sure of it, at least. She had no idea he regressed, and the thought of her finding out squeezed Carm’s insides with a vice grip. But her kindness and willingness to forgive him when he slipped up helped him to focus— both on the restaurant and the thought that maybe he could be kinder to himself when he felt small. Syd made him feel small sometimes, and not in a way that was an escape from his own issues, but rather a warm, safe place to come to when he felt comfortable, alive, and strangely contented. Her reaction to his food art did that, for one.

Her praise of his drawings made him less critical of his own when he was regressed at home, and the mere thought of her being impressed put the softest of smiles on Carmy’s face after he drew the latest dish she had been working on. He smacked it on his fridge with a magnet and didn’t take it down even when he was no longer feeling small.

Even just the domesticity of having Syd over to test new dishes and techniques made him more comfortable and willing to embrace his inherent small-ness. He liked being around her outside of the restaurant, her company giving him a sense of family without the sting of Mikey’s memory. Carmy found himself thinking about her more often when regressed, daydreaming about how she would treat him and quietly asking his puppy what it thought of Syd.

With newfound confidence from Syd’s steadying presence in his life, Carmy was willing to throw crayons into his basket while doing a grocery run. On top of the crayons came a head of lettuce, and then beside it his favourite childhood snack. He allowed himself a little more happiness, a little more to make him smile instead of climbing into his closet with his hands over his ears.

Things were far from perfect, but Carmy knew that if any part of his long broken heart wanted to heal, he had to be willing to let his regression — and his loved ones — be a part of that process.

<3

[pjunicornart]

Lewis and Wilbur Redesigns

Exactly what the title says. I redesigned Lewis and Wilbur, purely for fun. This isn't meant as a way to "fix" the character designs. I repeat, this was just a fun exercise and a way for me to show you what my take on the characters would be. I've actually wanted to do this for a while now.

First off, the OG designs:

I actually really like the OG designs. Except for a couple of elements, but I'll get to them when I get to them.

Now, my redesigns:

For Lewis, I cooled the color palette down and made it more cohesive. That meant getting rid of those bright red shorts. Lewis, sweetie. I love you, you're my son, but I will never forgive you for those red shorts! I also tried to give Lewis more of a disorganized look, with the dress shirt sticking out and the pencil stuck behind his ear (among other details). I've always felt Lewis would dress in a cozy way, so I turned his sweater vest into an oversized full sweater. Also, I kept the one sock up one sock down because it's cute as hell.

With Wilbur, I've always interpreted the lightning bolt to mean he's quick on his feet. I carried the lightning bolt motif throughout his design, even giving him some awesome jogging pants. Perfect for track and field! I kept his slim frame, though I did beef him up a little bit in the legs. The jeans weren't working for me in the OG design. Something about them always seemed off. Of course, I added freckles to him. As I mentioned somewhere previously: If you ain't drawing the Robinsons with all the freckles, you ain't doin' it right.

Here's a transparent version of them next to each other:

I better see others try their hand at redesigning them. I CANNOT be the only one out here! I wanna see other's perspectives... please? :3

Let me know if you want me to do other characters in MtR! This was super fun! Also, yes... you can draw art using these designs if you want. Just make sure you credit me, yada yada... you should know the drill.

[toxifoxx]

ok serious thoughts on the fnaf movie this time. they're a little scattered but i did just see it so i gotta think on it some more before i give like an actually structured review. but immediate thoughts post-viewing:

i had fun with the movie! i thought it was enjoyable. was hoping for at LEAST a little more blood (i really wanted to see william fucking explode into blood for one) but i knew there wasn't gonna be much since its pg13. it wasn't scary like in the slightest except for 1 jumpscare that almost kind of got me but i wish they set up the atmosphere a little bit more.

MAJOR GRIPE. i hate that vanessa is related to william. please stop retconning the afton family scott pretty please. give that man his dead children back. i seriously seriously love the "man goes fucked up sicko mode because of his grief" trope but alas.

i think that the pacing is NOTTTT very good at all. william needed more screen time 100% and there wasn't that great of a build up to the climax. maybe its more impactful to people who didn't already know that steve is william, but i'd wager that they're probably like HUH WHUH??? at that reveal because its not really. set up that much. and yes im biased because i fucking love william ok.

i think matthew lillard did a great job, BUT... we barely got to see him at all! and, especially with the "i always come back line..." i cringed a little bit man. like what are you coming back from? you haven't died yet man. there's nothing to come back from yet tf are you yappin about. it felt like it was really shoved in there honestly. we DESPERATELY needed to see more of him! in fact, most of the characters needed more set up! like ok... mike lost his brother? why should i care. mike is gonna lose his sister? why should i care tho?? these kids died but they dont really seem like they care too much about being dead either so whats the big deal.

AND WHY DIDN'T THE KIDS HAVE BEEF WITH WILLIAM/THE YELLOW RABBIT. THEY CLEARLY WERE SHOWN TO KNOW HE KILLED THEM, BUT THEY DON'T TURN ON HIM UNTIL ABBY PUTS UP HER SHITTY LIL DRAWING? FOR REAL????? WHY? + THEY DONT EVEN GET NAMED AT ALL. THE MOVIE CARES SO LITTLE ABOUT THE KIDS AND YET THEY DONT EVEN ALLOCATE THAT TIME TO AFTON EITHER. THEY FUMBLED BOTH SIDES!

also a lot of stuff just kind of isn't resolved? like the mike vs his aunt thing. is his aunt dead or...? + what was the fucking freddy saw trap thing that doesn't get explained at all. did the police not see that or does william just lug that thing in and out of the building constantly. what's it even for.

im also curious about some things. whats up with that kid who had a midnight motorist shirt. whats up with the other random springlock animatronic that is never named nor do we get a full look at. Where's Henry. are we just straight up ditching henry this time around?

i came into this knowing it wouldn't be lore accurate nor gory because of the rating but ugh. Ughhhh. can we please settle on one fnaf timeline to be canon its been almost 10 years we don't needa be playing like this anymore bro. i want to see the afton family for REAL show me cc getting his fuckin head chomped off or elizabeth getting snatched. give us literally any of the original missing children give us cassidy or something. like even in the silver eyes at least we got henry ffs! it just makes me a little sad knowing that one of the rejected scripts WAS accurate to the game lore.

shout out to my homie @yellowbutterbear for seeing the movie with me and discussing this stuff with me 🔥

6/10 not enough william afton moaning and whimpering AMEN!!!

[dropthedemiurge]

i came here specifically to compliment your character designs on the reddit x tumblr post (the tumblr blue hair! of course!) and snoop around for more art & any commentary on your process. you've got a great eye for composition, poses, and colors. keep doing the thing 💜

Awww, that is very sweet! Thank you for a lot of warm words^^ Please, feel free to snoop around, I draw some stuff here and there and I have few upcoming projects. For the commentary on the reddit x tumblr art: I thought that would be very fun, and about references (I can collect them all in this post, if you may) - TARDIS poster on the wall, obviously, from Doctor Who (initially it was poster with Sherlock and John but I thought their face would be too distracting from the art xD). - Samulet and a cosmic wing: Supernatural - A bit of tobacco pipe: a little ref I squeezed from Sherlock instead of the poster last minute - Bad Wolf: Doctor Who. Broken heart is to commemorate all the hearts broken and tears shed after some famous episodes xD - Nong Nao doll! (that many people were surprised to see) is from fantastic Thailand BL series called Bad Buddy. 10/10 would recommend watching. - 42 is the 'the ultimate answer to the universe' reference, don't ask me why but i associate Reddit with IT coding, crazy theories/discussions, AITA and furry forums and, you know, he could be spotting a tail once in a while along with his antenna, but just referencing to cool sci-fi stories felt more tangible to me xD - Thorn tattoos because I love them and they look 'cool bro' - Shoelaces hanging on the lamp stolen from you-know-who. - Huge horse aka both plinko horse and that huge lamp - Of course, none pizza with left beef ready on the table - Two glasses of wine? champagne? Tumblr was trying to force roommate Twitter to do the Good Omens scene rendition but eventually got to do it with Reddit in my next sketches xD) - Ace cake, rainbow and ^_^ anime pins! - color friendship bracelets because Tumblr is still stuck in years ago and doesn't like to throw away little things with memories - PRIDEMONTH shirt, because of course, how could I not I think that's about all the references that I put in my silly little drawing :D You asked me about commentary yourself, hehe.

[morallygreyprompts]

Bad Things Happen Bingo 3.0 #9

I would love to explain how I fell off the face of the planet again but alas I have no explanation. Blame work and my hyperfixation on my cloudwalker series.

Anyway, here’s the next BTHB:

Chained To A Wall

Characters: Hero, Villain, and Supervillain Warnings; Contains kidnapping, threats, and a knife wound and descriptions of blood, nudity (top half, not sexual).

Hero woke with a pained groan, keeping their eyes closed as they used to the aches and twinges of pain in their body. But why pain? What had happened? It was all so faint and blurred.

With a hiss, Hero slowly opened their eyes, wincing as the light met their eyes and stung. They groaned again, but what surprised them was that it kept going even when they’d stopped. They strained to look up, and that was when they saw Villain chained to the wall, dangling down by their arms. Hero’s eyes widened. “[V.Villain]?” they croaked, trying to step towards them. It was only then they realised they were tied the same way.

“[V.Villain]?” they tried again, a little louder this time. “Huh,” they mumbled.  “Oh… right… I remember.”

Hero managed to get their feet under them, grimacing with the pain. “[Villain], what happened?” Villain’s eyes snapped open and they glared at Hero. “You really don’t remember your sheer stupidity that got us locked up here?” “Well, if I did, I wouldn’t have asked,” Hero shot back. “And I doubt that I was stupid, more like you were doing something you shouldn’t have been.”

Villain gritted their teeth. “You can’t even remember and still you fucking blame me!” “Yes, yes I do!” Hero retorted. “Now please just tell me.”

Villain grumbled and looked away, “You wouldn’t listen to me. I told you to stand down, and we could have avoided this. I told you it wasn’t safe!” Hero was quiet for a moment, letting some memories drip back into their mind. “You did not make it sound like that at all,” Hero grunted. “I was trying to arrest you, wasn’t I?” “Yes, I was stealing, but then I’d realised it was a set up and you wouldn’t listen to my warnings,” Villain said. They sighed and looked down. “Now we’re here.” Hero bit their lip before they also looked away, “Now we’re here...” they mumbled. “Where… is here?”

“We’re being held here by [Supervillain],” Villain said. “So don’t expect a smooth ride. This isn’t going to end well.” Hero swore under their breath. “What about [Hero’s Sidekick] and [Villain’s Sidekick]?” Villain shrugged. “I’m not getting my hopes up.”

Hero sighed and looked away. They pondered apologising, but they also feared it would sound insincere, forced. Villain didn’t seem to care if the conversation continued or not.

It didn't matter. The door opened with an eerie creak, a cry of  a warning before Supervillain sauntered in.

“Awake at last? Excellent. I thought you two might be growing bored, so I decided we could play a game.” “Untie me so I can beat the shit out of [Hero] and I’ll be entertained enough,” Villain grunted. “What’s going on, [Supervillain]? I don’t recall any beef with you.”

Supervillain revealed a sinister knife. “No, it’s true we have no qualms. I suppose one of us has to start somewhere.” Supervillain pressed the blade against Villain’s shoulder and began to dig in. Hero tensed their jaw, seeing the thin line of blood that slipped down their shoulder. “My  game is perfectly simple. One of you is going to suffer, the other gets to watch. Exciting, right?” “Thrilling,” Villain ground out through gritted teeth. Supervillain smirked and yanked the blade away. “But there’s one last twist. You both get to choose who suffers? The city’s saviour? The scum that crawls in the gutters? Fail to come to a decision, and I will hurt both of you. Who wants the knife?”

“Me,” Hero and Villain said at the same time. Supervillain burst out laughing. “Oh, this is precious.” “[Villain], no. This is my fault, I deserve this. You tried to warn me-” “And you’re the hero, you’re the good person. The city needs you, they don’t need me.” Hero growled. “Since when did you care about the city? Why are you protecting me?” “Because I deserve this- for everything. Now for fuck’s sake, [Supervillain], get to it! Hurt me, make me bleed, make me scream, see how long it takes you to make me give a shit!”

Supervillain swiftly set to work, removing Villain’s shirt and using years worth of skill to draw the best cries and whimpers from Villain’s lips. Blood, like the ribbons of a dancer, glided effortlessly down Villain’s body until it dripped lifelessly on the floor beneath them. Supervillain savoured the sight. Hero closed their eyes, but every time they did, Supervillain hurt Villain more, forcing them to watch, to have no choice to take it all in.

But Hero just couldn’t dangle from their chains and endure this. This wasn’t fair! This was their fault! “Leave them alone!” Hero cried. “Hurt me! Please, just leave them alone, please! Please hurt me instead!” “[H.Hero]... no,” Villain groaned weakly, their head hanging limp against their chest.

Hero gulped but didn’t back down. They were meant to be a hero. They couldn’t let someone else take the blame for their mistake. Supervillain chuckled. “Oh, this is going to be fun.”

Like my stuff and want to support what I do? Then maybe consider buying me a Kofi? Ko-fi.com/morallygrey

[angelofbloodlust]

apologies for my shitty attempt at drawing (based on the SCREAM character posters)

Aidyn LaRue Macher

Nickname is Dyn, which is what Wes, Mindy, and Tara tend to call her most of the time.

18 years old in the events of Scream 5

Birthday is January 25th, 2005.

Gender is female and pronouns are she/her

Height is 5’6”.

Has shoulder length, fluffy, light brown hair that is dyed purple and blue during the movie. 

Has light brown eyes.

Her clothing style is simple. She wears lots of sweaters (like Stu👀) and t-shirts with graphics on them and jeans. 

Hobbies are dancing, she does ballet classes. She also likes to bake cakes and cookies.

Favorite food is tacos with beef and cheese.

Favorite drink is Pepsi.

Biggest fear is losing her friends, family, and starting to act like her uncle (who she has never met), Stu Macher. 

She was born in Woodsboro, California. 

Her father left her family when she was 15 and she lived with just her mother for 3 years until her mother married Gabriel Schneider.

The languages she can speak are English and a bit of French from French class at school.

Best friend is Wes Hicks. 

Closest friends are Mindy Meeks-Martin, Chad Meeks-Martin, Tara Carpenter, Liv McKenzie, Wes Hicks, and Amber Freeman.

Her significant other is Wes Hicks. They get together while she’s in the hospital after an attack from Ghostface. 

She lives in Woodsboro, California. She lives in the house next door to the Hicks’. Her mother never lived in the Macher house after her brother was killed there and her parents sold the house after 1996.

She always carries a knife that she keeps sheathed in her boot, pepper spray, a flashlight, earbuds, and her phone.

A typical night’s sleep for her is in her room with her gray cat, Tucker, who lives through the movie.

Her favorite childhood memory is when she first learned how to ride a bike. Her dad was the one who taught her and she treasures that memory of him.

The things that make her smile the most are Wes, dumb jokes, Mindy’s jokes, and cheesy movies.

Her main love languages are physical touch and acts of service. 

Like Stu, when she laughs, she sticks her tongue out. Her mom always saw this and thought of Stu, which contributed to her fear of Aidyn ending up like Stu. This anxiety passed onto Aidyn, who is terrified of becoming a psychopathic killer like her uncle.

and yeah, i have more i can tell you about her, feel free to ask, love ☺️

IM?? SO OBSESSED??? SHES SO COOL AND THE ART IS LOVELY DOLL OH MY GOODNESS <33 she fact she would be younger than me has me shook but 💀 petition to add her to the canon cast 😠

PLEASE feel free to send me more things about her, I already love her so much !! Plus the fact she has a kitty makes me so happy, cat people unite 😌

I also think my Scream 5 OC would adore her ngl, however my OC is also a murderer like her parents so idk how well that would work LMAO she’d probably try to influence her into giving into her darker side..

[drarrymybeloved]

the shape of your soul (fits mine)

written for the 2021 Summer Writin' Challenge. prompt: wonder, trope: accidental marriage, craft: outsider POV, character/object: a gilded mirror. thank you @the-starryknight for looking this over!

It’s been years since I saw him last, but I recognise him. The same unkempt hair, those familiar round glasses slightly crooked from being mended one too many times, and of course, that lightning bolt scar. Harry Potter has come to visit me again.

He enters the room I have been stored in and closes the door softly. He does not move for long minutes. He looks drained, like he’s lost something essential and doesn't quite know how to navigate it's loss.

Harry's dulled emerald gaze traverses my gilded edges, soft nostalgia edged with profound grief writ across his face. I do not know what he saw in me, all those years back. Such is my magic – private. I wonder if the shape of his soul has changed, if he will see a different reflection now, all these years later.

He lets out a gust of air and straightens, steeling himself. Despite his apprehension, I can see a flicker of anticipation in his eyes, a wistful set to his mouth. He approaches me slowly, both the hunted and the hunter. Stopping two feet away from me, he closes his eyes. Strange, how he seems so scared of what he most desires. He takes a deep breath and opens his eyes. His jaw slackens and his eyes widen. He stumbles back a few steps but comes closer just as quickly.

Harry has changed, then. His deepest desire has changed.

A pained noise escapes him. His face crumples before me and his eyes shine with unshed tears. He lifts a shaking hand towards me, almost touching my surface, but then withdraws before he can make contact. His hand moves towards his chest. He’s still looking at my reflection, but his hand presses into his chest. I see his fingers trace the shape of a ring pressing through his shirt.

He takes several deep breaths. I watch as determination hardens Harry's face. He presses his hand flat over his chest, covering the ring with his palm. With one last glance, he is gone, leaving far faster than he entered.

The door opens again some time later. Harry is back, but he hasn’t come alone. There is another man with him, unfamiliar to me. He is all sharp angles, pale skin and pale hair. As soon as he catches sight of me, his nostrils flare, grey eyes flinty. “What the fuck do you think you’re doing, Harry?” he asks harshly.

“Please,” Harry entreats. “Please, Draco, just look at it.”

I can pinpoint the exact moment Draco gives in by the slight slump of his shoulders.

He eyes me warily as he draws nearer. Whatever he sees reflected back at him makes his shoulders stiffen. His lips press into a thin, hard line and he lets out a controlled breath.

“If you think I’m going to tell you what I see–” he starts, addressing Harry without turning around.

“I see you.” Harry cuts him off.

Draco’s head snaps up.

“I see you and me, in Grimmauld’s kitchen,” Harry continues, voice shaky. “You’re trying to teach me how to make beef bourguignon, but I keep getting distracted. The sun is coming through the kitchen window in just the right way, and you look,” Harry swallows, a small smile on his face. “You look beautiful,” he whispers.

Draco has not turned around and I can see the maelstrom of emotions on face. His eyes dart over my surface, before he closes them. He takes a trembling breath. “We never did finish making that beef bourguignon."

Behind him, Harry smiles. He walks up to Draco and places a gentle hand on his cheek. He doesn’t spare a glance for me.

“Darling,” he whispers. A request and a reassurance.

Draco laughs, a watery sound. His expression is open, hopeful. He covers Harry’s hand with his own, his other hand going to Harry’s chest, over his heart.

Draco inhales sharply and slowly brings out the ring Harry is wearing. “Harry,” he breathes in wonder.

“The marriage may have been accidental, but I fell in love with you anyway,” Harry says.

Draco smiles, his face awash with a contentment I rarely get to see. He pulls Harry in for a kiss, familiar and intimate.

"Take me home," he whispers when they break apart.

As they are leaving, Harry turns to look at me and it's the oddest thing — for the first time, I feel seen. Not my reflection, me. He smiles crookedly and then he's gone.

That is the last time I see Harry Potter.

[peachpitfics]

Culinary Chaos

Fandom: Criminal Minds

Request: Yes

“ Teaching Spencer how to cook and him being all pouty when it doesn't turn out great so the reader comforts him and makes him feel better🥺”

Summary: Spencer meets your Parents and invites them for dinner at his apartment, knowing full well he can’t cook. Even with your help, he still manages to ruin dinner. Luckily, Dad’s got him covered.

Length: 1.3k

Characters: Spencer Reid, Reader, Reader’s Mother & Father

Content Warnings: Curse words

A/N: Hiiii, this probably wasn’t what you were asking for, but its sweet and it’s what fell out of my brain today... I hope you enjoy it :) xx

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Instant regret filled Spencer’s body as he realized what he’d done. Dating for 6 months, you had introduced your boyfriend to your parents at a family dinner they had invited him to. With your background, your Father had cooked this beautiful meal, enjoyed by everyone, but especially Spencer. There was nothing he loved more than home cooked food. You guessed it was because of how he grew up...

And that’s where Spencer decided to invite your parents for dinner, at his apartment, on Saturday night.

As soon as you left and got into your car, Spencer lost it. He frantically ran his hands through his hair and jittered his leg around. Anxiety not only filled his stomach, but yours too. “Why did I do that?” His voice shook. “Because you’re a nice person, and you wanted to make a good impression” You nodded. “Uh huh, yeah, well” You could tell that the higher his voice got, the more he was panicking, “I don’t even own pots and pans” The dread washed over him as he realized he wasn’t capable of making anything that wasn’t coffee or toast.

You wanted to laugh but didn’t want to further embarrass him. Spencer was quiet from there until you got to his apartment. You tried to converse with him, but all he could do was be in his head and bounce his leg up and down. Spencer led you into his apartment, his pace quicker than normal. Before you knew it, he was tearing his kitchen apart, while you sat and watched on in utter surprise. Spencer didn’t half ass things, he always gave it 100% and more often than not, he was successful.

“You need to stop panicking” You said sternly, finally having had enough of this chaotic Spencer. “What am I going to do?!” He near on shouted, frustrated with himself. You approached him, taking him into your arms and holding onto him as tightly as possible. After a minute, he finally melted. You could feel his energy shift. You rubbed your hand up the length of his back, “I’m going to help you, if you would just calm down” You giggled.

When you parted, he was softer, slower. That frantic energy had dissipated. You helped him put his kitchen wares back in the cupboards and decided what he was going to make for dinner. You were going to keep it simple, with a roast beef and vegetables. Something you knew your parents liked & something you could cook, so you could teach Spence. When you explained the logistics and wrote a shopping list together, he calmed and was much happier.

 ——————- Saturday Afternoon ———————

 The shopping was done, Spencer was prepared, and you had brought a baking dish from your apartment for the roast. He had started on the vegetables, Spencer’s concentration through the roof. You stood behind him, lovingly wrapping your arms around his middle and drawing in his scent from the back of his shirt. You planted small kisses on his back and ran your hands down his sides. But Spencer ignored you, he kept peeling and chopping vegetables. “You’re staring at those carrots as if they’re going to run away” You whispered up to him. “They might if you keep distracting me” He chuckled. More time passed, more time where you were not the center of his attention and it was bugging you. Now he was preparing the meat. He was doing everything exactly how you told him. When you were finally fed up with being ignored, you decided to take your shower and get dressed for dinner. Your parents would be here in about an hour, and Spencer was already ready. He’d been ready for hours, perpetually worrying he was going to mess something up.

You came back to the kitchen, smoke billowing out of the oven into Spencer’s face. “I’ve been gone 45 minutes, all you had to do was let it sit?!” You exclaimed, watching him hurricane right back into chaos. “Babe, what’s going?” You asked, now frantic yourself. “The fucking meat is on fire” Spencer’s voice was high and scratchy, his stress filled the room much like a smoke. You couldn’t believe what you were hearing. Spencer donned odd oven mitts and pulled the baking dish from the oven, a medium sized fire spread across the whole of the meat, engulfing it. Spencer dropped the baking dish into the sink, throwing a tea towel over the top of, hoping to smother it out. An enormous crack rang out, the baking dish breaking in half over the heat.

You took it upon yourself to open all the windows and waved one of Spence’s jumper around to sweep the smoke out of the apartment. Once it was clearer to see in the kitchen, you went back to check on Spencer. He sat against the counter where the sink was, elbows on his knees and hands over his face. “This... is a disaster” He mumbled sadly. You took a seat next to him, linking your arm around his and kissed him on his arm. “Ah, it’s not so bad” You smiled, “It’ll be a funny story one day”. “Not today, it’s not funny today” He grumbled, “Your parents are going to be here any minute. My apartment is smoky, the charcoal ball in the sink is ruined and there’s nothing in the apartment for dinner” He almost began to laugh, but you were sure that was to keep from crying. Spencer wasn’t always this way in regard to failing; this particular meal was very important to him. He’d never been in contact with a partner’s parents before, so this was special.

You stood, reached your hand down to him. Pulling Spencer up, you reefed him into a bear hug. “Everything will be okay” You squeezed him tight, his chin resting on your head. You knew what your parents were like, they wouldn’t have ever held this against Spencer. The doorbell rang out, just what you needed. The kitchen was a mess, and the smoke hadn’t cleared, you didn’t want Spencer to be embarrassed. But he pulled up his metaphorical socks and answered the door. He shook your Fathers hand and kissed your Mothers cheek as they entered the apartment. You greeted them, watching their faces as they observed the chaos. “What’s happened here?” Your Father asked softly, walking into the kitchen, and lifting the tea towel in the sink. The black ball of burnt meat lay underneath. “Dear me” Y/F/n smiled. “Yeah... I... can’t cook” Spencer confessed. “It’s harder than it looks, isn’t it?” Your Mother hummed. She herself wasn’t a good cook. “That’s an understatement” The corners of Spencer’s mouth were twisted into a smile. “Can I give you some advice?” Y/F/n asked gently, not wanting to put him off trying again.

“Of course, Sir, please” Spencer approached the kitchen, excited to learn. Your mother and you stood in the entryway, watching on. “I assume this caught fire” Your Dad laughed, waving soft smoke out of his face, “Which means, your oven was too high and the fat caught fire. The oven then becomes a furnace and suddenly, bam! You’ve lost your roast” Y/F/n chuckled. “So, next time I should do it on a lower heat for longer?” Spencer asked gingerly. “Oh Absolutely, that way is better anyway, it cooks nicer. I wouldn’t worry too much about this though, I set fire to a few before I got a good one, didn’t I darling?” Y/F/n turned back to your Mother and laughed. She nodded along, chuckling herself. Spencer’s anxiety over the whole situation, disappeared. It was comforting for him knowing that even good cooks, like y/F/n, had catastrophes like this. “So, shall we order a pizza?” Y/M/n suggested. “Pizza this time, but next time, we do a roast. Together, I’ll show you how to get it perfect” Y/F/n draped his arm around Spencer’s shoulder, leading him to the living room to order that pizza.

--------------------------------------------------------------

Tags: @itsmyblogandillreblogifiwantto @diegoluna-asian

Let me know if you’d like to be tagged for Spencer Reid fics! ✨

[tootiredtocares-blog]

My dnf post is going to have no order and it's going to be a mess so bare with me. I have very mixed feelings on dnf on one hand when the writer does it well it could be the greatest ship but when it's written poorly make me want to tear my hair off. First thing that annoys me it's that they make george way too submissive or at least doesn't fight back on certain things that he should hell in some fics he's too helpless. One george is assertive and is a lot older than dream so I'm pretty sure he has a bit more experience when it comes to certain things why do people write him like a helpless lamb. George is pretty chaotic too don't see many dnf fics that protray this and is really good at coding I don't see many people mention that. This is all for my beef with how his personality is written because I don't know much about george so I don't want to get anything wrong if I do feel free to correct me. Anyway why do people make george really feminine? Like there's nothing wrong with that but out of the three george is the most gamer boy yeah he has colorful shirts but that's because he's kind of a dork and honestly so are his friends. Actually the man doesn't even style his hair much either moving on why do people draw his body more skinny than it actually is or more feminine? I'm not sure of the right word but I see a lot of dnf artists protray george like the "girl " in the relationship also why do people change his body so much his regular and normal body is healthy and beautiful why are we making him have weird proportion sometimes, obviously not all dnf artists but you can tell a lot about someone from their art also one more thing a lot of football au's have goerge wearing a female outfit and I don't think I've ever seen anyone draw him in the male one. Moving on the reason I brought that up is because I think george has stated he uncomfortable with wearing skirts again I could be wrong but this leaves the question why is goerge always the one drawn like this? It wouldn't really be any better if it was the others either but my point still stands. I've also noticed people protray dream as this dom/top masculine guy and number one he's a soft and nice guy who has boundaries and sets them but is bit too nice for his own good there's not way he's a dom/top he's more submissive also I mean this in nonsexual way. Actually dream has worn a dress and painted his nails before huh anyway people draw this man ripped when he has an hour glass body not shaming anyone for that but I've noticed that to be a trend in dnf artists also side note seen some smut fics for this fandom won't get into that because I don't want to touch that mess but you know switches exist right? Like they always make one person more dominant than the other but like you can do both. Back to dream he's sometimes portrayed as a playboy, jerk, bully, a cheating bastrad in dnf fics and george in those types of fics are usually do no wrong type of character now this wouldn't be a problem if it wasn't the majority of fic look I take no dream slander not even in fics. why is dream always the one cheating, people get different ideas please. I feel like people treat these two like oc's sometimes and I think that's why most fics fall flat. Again there are good fics for this ship but dear God unless you love it, a casual shipper isn't going out of their way to find those fics. Anyway that was my rant hope it made sense. Lots of spelling mistakes but don't feel like fixing it at the moment.

[nextqueue]

All An Act (part one)

Genre(s): romance, slow burn, angst, drama

Pairing: Ji Chang Wook x OC black female

Word Count: 3.2k

Summary: Aliah is a new foreign actress in South Korea who just got her first big break as a lead actress in a drama. Her co-lead is the ever amazing Ji Chang Wook whom she has always had a silly little crush on. 

[a/n]: I am not the best with summaries so please read and let me know what you think. (you can leave summary ideas also I don’t mind). The overwhelming lack of black writers and black characters in fanfics on this app is wild to me so I will only be writing from the angle of a black reader, if ya don’t like it I am 100% sure you can find plenty of stories to cater to your demographic here. All feedback is welcome! Hope you all are have a blessed day or night (depending on where you are from)! 

“Okay Aliah, we are going to go over the kiss scene now.” 

I feel my palms start to sweat and feel for one of my coping skills but find none because of the wardrobe. I start flicking my nails against each other to placate the need to chew on them. 

“Hey. There is no need to be so nervous. I got you.” his hands engulf my face and my heart rate picks up without my permission. This is not helping at all. I want him away from me, I need him away from me. I won’t be able to breathe if he is so close. I can’t think. 

The director yells action and I lose all my anxiety. 

He looks into my eyes willing me to understand what he is trying to convey. My eyes close on their own. The kiss was shy at first like how we discussed at the meeting then something snaps and we both seem to forget about acting. The way he pulls me to him makes me think he wants more so I give him more. I open my mouth to him and he happily dives in. His hands slide down my back and come to rest on my hips, pulling me flush against him. He is hard. I rub against him a little then pull away when a soft groan leaves his lips. I barely remember my next lines and everyone can see his internal struggle to remember his lines. 

He recites his lines perfectly after covering up his slip up by pretending he is short of breath, genius really. This is why he is one of the best actors in Korea and I aspire to be like him. 

The director yells cut and we both snap out of our stupor. I feel my face, willing it to cool down I remove myself from the set to catch my breath and process what just happened. I kissed Ji Chang Wook. The Ji Chang Wook. My hand finds its way to my lips of its own volition. Touching where his lips once laid. My makeup artist comes to touch up my makeup snapping me back to reality. 

“Hey. Calm down. It was just a kiss kiddo.” she rubs my arms lovingly.

“I know.”

“But?”

“But...it’s Ji Chang Wook. I have been a fan of his for years now and this all just seems so surreal.” I spread my legs to make it easier for her to reach my face. She is a tiny little thing, barely reaching my shoulder. 

“I understand that but you have to focus.” 

“Was it really that bad?”

“No, but I could tell you weren’t just acting because I am constantly in your face.” she looks me dead in my eyes, challenging me to say she is wrong. I can’t do anything but look away and blush.

The director calls us back for a few more takes of the scene, I can do nothing but try to still my heart for the rest of the evening. It seems like forever before the shooting is finally done and my lips, I know are completely swollen and raw from the intensity of the kisses. The director had us try at least fifteen different kisses from different angles. With each one Chang Wook was patient and gentle, always talking to me before and after and making sure to hold me gently in between. I couldn’t help but feel special. 

I’m not so dense that I would think he would catch feelings from a couple of kisses and touches. Packing my stuff up at the end of the shoot I try my best to keep the events of the day out of my mind. I don’t want to dream about him, tonight, I have managed not to so far and we have been filming for three months so far. Tonight is different though. I know I am going to, my emotions are too high and I was far too sensitive to his touches all day. The way his hands gripped my face each time like I was made of glass. The way he gazed into my eyes as if he was asking permission each time. As if he was trying to tell me something other than what the script was saying. The way his lips would brush against mine before claiming mine. The way it seemed like he was trying to brand the shape of his mouth onto mine. Wanting me to only know his lips, his shape, the feel of him, the taste.

I feel something cool touch the back of my neck making me jump and turn to face it. It is him. Standing there jacket and jeans on with a smile on his face, looking like the most perfect boyfriend. 

“Hey, you okay? I was calling your name.” I watch the way his lips form words partially because it’s a habit. After all, I’m hard of hearing, but mainly because I like looking at his mouth. 

“Yeah, I’m okay. Just deep in thought, I guess.” That wasn’t necessarily a lie.

“Mmm, okay. I was wondering...what you were doing after. Would you like to go get something to eat?”

I look around in bewilderment barely registering that he is addressing me. I search for my manager and best friend, seeing her across the set talking with the director. He follows my line of sight and looks back at me with a soft smile.

“If it is okay with your manager of course.” he concedes. 

“Oh...uh… it should be fine but let me text her.”

I watch for her reaction after I message her. She checks her phone briefly then looks over at me giving me a thumbs up. My phone pings, she is asking if I have my keys and if my phone is charged enough. I nod at her and she shoos me away after giving Wook a glare. He bows to her then turns back to me with a brilliant smile on his face.

“Great! Let’s go. I have somewhere I wanted to take you. I think you will like it.” 

He leads me outside the set to the parking lot where he guides me to a motorcycle. I almost missed the fact that he is talking to me about riding his bike because his hand is resting on my lower back and seems to be attempting to burn a hole through my clothes. 

“I hope you are okay with riding my bike.” 

“I am more than okay with it! I love motorcycles!” the smile that graces his face was everything I could have ever wanted. 

Grabbing the extra helmet from the back of his ride he turns to me looking expectantly at my hair. I quickly take my locs down from the complicated bun they are in and put them into a low ponytail. I missed one and he tucks it back in with the rest before sliding the helmet on my head. His fingers expertly clip the strap under my chin and tighten it. With each brush of his fingers against my skin, I feel my entire body heat up significantly.

“Comfortable?” I nod and give him a small smile. 

“Good. Do you know how to ride?” I nod again.

“Great.” he hops onto the beautiful beast of a vehicle and starts it. It sounds amazing and the excitement of riding finally hits me dispelling the nervousness of being with him a little. He looks back at me after he slips his helmet on, nodding towards the space behind him. I happily hop on and settle in behind his large form, finding the footrest easily. I grab onto the sides of his jacket but he has another idea. Grabbing my hands he wraps them around his torso making sure my palms are laid flat against his stomach. The nervousness settles back in tenfold, I tense up against my will. My thighs squeeze him and my hands subconsciously curl into his shirt. His stomach flexes and I swear I hear him chuckle a little.

Soon we pull out of the parking lot and begin flying down the highway back to Seoul. I relax some once we have been riding for a few minutes. The cool air feels good against my skin making the ride more enjoyable than stressful. I feel warm everywhere my body touches him and find myself drawing closer to him. My hands spread out over his stomach, I lay my chest to his back and rest my head against his broad shoulders. I feel safe.

Far too soon, we reach our destination. A little shop out of the way of the hustle and bustle of the city. He lets me dismount first then gets off to help me take my helmet off. He pulls my hair out of its hold and slips the tie around his wrist. He takes my helmet along with his into one hand then grabs my hand to lead me into the shop. The smell of beef and seafood hits me as soon as we cross the threshold. Wook calls out to someone for a table and they answer back telling us we can choose anywhere to sit. Clearly having been here before he leads me to a table in the corner of the shop a little way out of sight. Understandable, considering his fame. He makes sure I am seated comfortably at the little table before he seats himself and this warms my heart. 

I look everywhere but at him when he sits, yet I can feel his gaze heavy on my face. I am saved when this cute little old lady comes to give us the menus and hugs Wook tenderly. I can’t help but smile at the interaction. She scolds him for losing weight and not visiting often enough, then she turns to me.

“Now who is this beautiful woman?” she asks him while bowing to me. I shyly bow back as deep as I can from my seated position.

“This is my co-star in my new drama. Her name is Aliah.” for some reason my heart hurts a little at his explanation but it really shouldn’t because all he did was tell the truth.

“Pleased to meet you, Miss.” 

“Oh, you speak Korean well!” her praise is the standard for everyone that hears me speak the language so effortlessly.

“I approve. Treat him kindly please.” I bow again to her as she leaves, her words confusing me. 

“She is my grandmother’s best friend and like family.” Wook explains.

I nod in understanding then reach for a menu but his hand on top of mine stops me. Looking up at him I find he is watching me intently. 

“I can’t help but notice you don’t speak much around me. Why is that?” 

Of course, he noticed it. I don’t actively mean to do it’s just whenever he is close around me I clamp up. Honestly, I don’t know how I have been able to be around him every day and act with him. I just become a nervous anxious mess around him outside of acting. Acting is easy. Real-life isn’t.

I steel myself before looking into his eyes.

“You make me nervous.”

“I do?”

I nod my head. He still has his hand on top of mine.

“Oh, well I’m sorry. I don’t mean to. Is there anything I can do to help?” he removes his hand from mine and I desperately want it back.

“No. It’s really not you. I just…” I trail off realising what I was about to say. About to say I just like you is all.

“If it makes you feel any better you make me nervous as well. I don’t know what to do or say to get close to you and I just feel awkward. I asked you here so maybe I could do just that, get closer to you.” 

His rambling reveal shocks me. I would have never thought in a million years I could make him nervous. A giggle escapes me against my will and he looks up at me sharply.

“Sorry!” I clamp a hand over my mouth but the smile won’t leave my face.

“No, it’s fine.” his eyes seem to twinkle with mirth at my outburst.

“Should we order?” I nod enthusiastically. I ask him what he likes best here telling him I will eat whatever he orders since it is my first time. He orders a beef platter, seafood platter, a lunchbox, and a few bowls of rice for both of us. I am pleasantly surprised he ordered so much food but silently thank him nonetheless. I am starving after a whole day of filming and just snacking.

After our mutual admissions conversation began to flow easier. We talk about everything and anything. He shares stories about his family and I share mine. We laugh as he cooks the food over the grill for us. I tell him about my struggles coming to Korea as I pour Cola for the both of us. We continue chatting in between swallows of food until the subject of relationships comes up.

“So, do you have a boyfriend?” he asks the question so nonchalantly it irritates me a little. I would like there to be some sort of hesitation when asking. Looking him dead in the eyes I tell him no, I hope he understands the message behind my eyes. ‘No, I don’t have a boyfriend because I want you’.

“No? Why? Is there anyone you are interested in?” he is staring down at his rice, stabbing it and mixing it kind of roughly. His tone changed. At the end, it changed. I realise he is acting, something I have come to realise is not okay with me. Liars are my biggest pet peeve which is ironic considering my line of work now.

“Because I am picky I guess. I have someone in mind but I’m not sure he would feel the same way.” I decide to mess with him a little, if he can act so can I.

“Picky? What do you mean by that?” 

I set my utensils down giving him my whole attention.

“Well before I even came to Korea there was this idol I had always loved and respected from the time I was a little girl. You know Bang Yongguk?” he nods and sets his utensils down as well.

“It was him. For years he was my standard for men. His morals and the way he approached the world was so gentle and open. I fell for his character and personality rather than his looks.” 

“So is it him that you are interested in still?” I have his full attention now. It’s now or never Aliah.

“No, it’s not him, although I would love to meet him and speak to him at least once in my lifetime.”

“There is a new man.”

“Yes.” his eyes trace the lines on my face, his fingers tap a quiet rhythm into the table. His body is leaning towards mine. I am sure mine is doing the same.

“Who is this new man? Describe him to me.”

“I think you already know who he is.” I pick my utensils up and resume eating, breaking the spell we were in. He stares at me for a few moments before also finishing his food.

He calls for the cheque when we finish and I try to pay for my half of the food at least but he refuses, saying something about how when I am with him I will never have to pay for anything. He thanks the Granny then grabs our helmets making his way out of the shop. The Granny stops me before I can exit and pulls me down to her to whisper in my ear.

“He thinks highly of you. He has never once brought anyone here let alone a woman."

"How come?" her admission startles me.

"This is his safe spot. He comes here when he wants a home-cooked meal but isn't able to go home. I'm the closest thing to family he has in the city. He doesn't bring anyone here because he wants to keep his personal and family life completely separate from his line of work."

I slowly nod as she sends me off after dropping that bomb on me. It makes me view Wook in a completely different light once again. This is something that has been happening since the first day we met.

I know he comes from a single-parent family and is an only child. I am not surprised he turned out as well mannered and kind as he is after speaking with his mother once over a video call. The way he approaches people though is unique, he watches them first to see how they react to the environment then approaches them in a way that makes them comfortable. The first time we met he approached me with a smile on his face and kind words on his lips. He made me feel comfortable like I was part of the team. Anything I didn’t understand he was kind enough to translate. He was patient and quite understanding almost to the point where it became overwhelming, almost. He knew exactly when to back off and give me my space. 

The ride home was peaceful, so peaceful I fell asleep. Never in my life have I felt so safe with someone who was not my immediate family. 

“Aliah. Hey. Wake up beautiful.” 

I open my eyes to Chang Wook’s face inches from mine. He is holding me up in the seat of the bike. I rub the sleep from my eyes and smile at him. It’d be nice to wake up to his face every day. I caress his cheek taking in all of his features, the unevenness of his eyes, the slight crookedness in his jaw, the few blemishes he has are all that makes him so perfect to me. In my haze, the only thought running through my head is to kiss him. God, I want to kiss him so badly. 

“We are here.” I know he feels the shift in energy, the tension I created, so why isn’t he acting on it. 

He helps me off the bike and takes the helmet off then takes my hand, leading me inside the apartment complex. I don’t want him to go. That’s all I say to myself as we reach my door and I key in the code.

“Do you perhaps...want to come inside?” I shyly ask. I know hope is shining brightly in my eyes, I should feel embarrassed but I can’t bring myself to care enough to be. 

He hesitates, a war clearly raging within him.

“As much as I would love to, and trust me I want to so very badly, I don’t think I should.” he kisses my hands and bids me good night. I watch him until I can no longer see him down the hallway then I rush inside and run to my living room window. I catch the last glimpses of him as he exits the building, mounts his bike and rides away.

What was I thinking! Honestly, what was I planning to do after if he came in? Becky is asleep in her room, I vowed to wait until marriage, he doesn’t seem like the one-night stand type. Stupid, stupid, stupid, that’s what you are stupid. A dummy. What is this man doing to me?

[gothamopossum]

Fashion Rant: Alastor Edition

There are two characters that I find the most visually grating: Alastor and Vox (they can fight over who wins first place). But this rant is all about Alastor, as asked for by @ckret2

I love the characters, don’t get me wrong. But a rant is a rant. To preface this entire spiel, it’s worth noting that not all things that look good in real life look good in animation (and vice versa). Usually, though, the disparity between their visual appeal across both mediums isn’t that large. BUT THIS. It’s already hanging on by a thread in the cartoon. I cannot for the life of me imagine this ever existing in real life AND looking good.

I will try to break his outfit down and format it so that this is all easier to understand. Fair warning: in total, this is about 1400 words roasting our beloved demon.

Overall Issues

The Fit: Suits from the 1900s and the next several decades are looser and cut a boxier figure (I’m talking American fashion, specifically). I find fit just as, if not more indicative of time period compared to a lot of other key visual indicators (which can sometimes be shared by decades far apart)

The Color: I think we can all agree he’s too red. Too much red. I love the color red but damn. As elaborate suits were at the time, suits in that color family were closer to a duller red/maroon, with the brighter reds either being in the tie, pocket square, boutonniere, or other accessories. Borderline monochromatic suits also weren’t in vogue. More colors meant a more elaborate look, and a more elaborate look meant you were fashionable.

Too many fabric/color changes within the same garment (I’ll get into this in a later)

Lack of accessories: Although much of this is down to personal preference, the general vibe was that you had at least some bling on you.

I will say, however, that despite the excessive use of pinstripes in other characters, the one character they are bang on for is Alastor. Pinstripes were incredibly fashionable starting the 20s and I think tapered off somewhere in the 50s.

Specific Elements

The Collar & Coat

I’ll start with the collar. I’m treating this as a separate entity since I can’t surely say if it’s a part of the coat OR the shirt.

There are two options: Either his shirt has a bright red body that transitions into a dark red standing collar, or (this one is more likely) the coat closes up again at the neck, meaning there are two useless flaps of stiff fabric masquerading as lapels at chest height.

From the perspective of garment construction, lapels are meant to support and decorate the suit at the neck opening. The presence of ANOTHER method of jacket closure much higher up the neck make the lapels redundant and confusing, not to mention the fact that they’re in an entirely different fabric/color.

So to me, not only is this nothing but a glorified, decorated boob window (watch out, Angel Dust). But also a pointless one since we don’t even see his chest, but instead that thing, that shirt underneath.

The tattered ends of his coat seem to be a matter of choice since they don’t appear on any other character. So either the coat is incredibly old and it hasn’t been repaired due to possible sentimental value, or this is some thinly veiled nod to something we don’t know yet. The tattered bits, on top of the rest of his coat, are a lot.

The Cuffs

I thought at first that the bright red bits on the coat were the ends of the shirt, but then I found this reference image showing a smaller black cuff on his left hand and none on the right.

That means 3 things:

That the Ugly Shirt changes color AGAIN (from red to black) at the cuff (Why????)

That the jacket changes color and/or fabric at the cuff (WHY????????????. This makes me want to set them on fire. I can’t even find an example of a suit jacket changing color just at the cuff. That’s how bad it is. Even bad clothing designers in real life know NOT to do it. It makes your arm look shorter than it actually is); and

That the shirt cuff migrates to and fro, sometimes hiding under the jacket and sometimes showing, which is borderline a sin in menswear. Any tailor worth their salt keeps the cuff of the shirt showing regardless of the arm position of the person wearing the suit (conventionally by about ¼” past the jacket cuff at resting position, if my knowledge serves me correctly). Just imagine a guy in real life without the shirt cuff showing past the jacket – in some way he looks nakey.

So, a summary of the Hideous Coat: has two different closures (a standing collar AND separate lapels), a boob window, is made up of FOUR different fabrics (pinstripe body, plain red sleeves & collar, dark lapels, and bright cuffs), and a tattered hem.

A side note: Because I see people drawing men in suits with a lot of folds in it. A suit, since it’s conception, has always been meant to cut a dignified and elegant figure. Unless it’s made of light fabrics usually used in summer suits, like silk or linen, THAT MANY folds just means the suit is incredibly poorly made. (especially when you see the sleeve twist. That is the worst offender. Why waste gasoline when you can use that suit jacket to start the fire instead).

The Shirt

Several people have already mentioned this, but the shirt is UNtucked (I concur – unacceptable), has this cross emblazoned on the front, has said cross end in the middle of the shirt, and, as we have now established, changes color at the cuff. Now, differently colored shirt cuffs do work. But the only good examples that I know of are a more colorful shirt body (usually a pale pastel or another soft color), and white cuffs (sometimes with the matching white collar). Graphic elements in menswear like the cross also didn't really exist on garments until about the 50s/60s, but even then not on dress shirts, just sweaters and cardigans.

I saw someone mention the use of a dickey – which only works if Alastor has some sort of vest or waistcoat involved. But since we don’t see any indication of a vest, I’m just going to assume that the bits we see exposed are all parts of one shirt. *shudder*

All things considered, I think that the Ugly Shirt is definitely the lesser offender of Alastor’s Hot Mess Outfit compared to the Hideous Coat. I say lesser offender because if you tuck this shirt in and add a couple accessories, then immediately it’s already not the worst thing you’ve seen on this planet. That coat is a different story.

The Pants

His pants should be tapered at the ankle, not flared out. However, a loose pant leg of approximately the same circumference all the way down would also be acceptable.

On to the accessories

Monocle: its presence I don’t have as much of a problem with as I do its color. The metal bits I find are hard to see against the dark bits of his hair (not to mention that shinier metallics were more of a norm then compared to the duller finish we see on Al’s monocle). But also WHY would it be tinted?????? Hell already seems red as fuck. WHY do you need a red tinted monocle????

Bowtie: WHY is the knot a different color????????? Hand tied (hell, even pre-tied) bowties are made of ONE fabric all the way. Unless this is one of those artisan clip on bowties using feathers or other unconventional materials (but it doesn’t look like it).

Gloves: The closest thing I can think of for these gloves are modern driving gloves. Driving gloves have holes along the knuckles that either show skin or a different fabric. (However, driving/men’s gloves back then didn’t even look like that. Just short, solid leather gloves with seams on the back of the hand). I have no excuse for the tips. To me they look like those tips you have so you can use smartphones despite glove usage. But we all know Alastor would never.

Speaking of the gloves, there’s something going on between Al & Vox and Al & Sir Pentious. We all know Viv likes to repeat a certain theme across characters with connections, like hearts with Angel, Valentino, Cherri, and Husk. Alastor, Vox, and Sir Pentious all have the exact same glove design. We all knew they had beef, but this is just visual confirmation in the character design.

I almost forgot his hair: Sure, the undercut may have been popular at the time, but that was in tandem with slicked back hair. An undercut + that rag of a mane Alastor has going on is just so confusing to me. Again, WHY???????

His outfit confuses me to no end and whenever I draw his canonical outfit I have to actively shove away thoughts of “BUT WHAT IS THAT? WHAT IS THIS CONNECTED TO? WHY THIS COLOR?” otherwise I risk having an aneurysm.

[themadauthorshatter]

Like I said, this is a future/sequel post to that one Karate Kid-The Outsiders AU.

And this one took a very, VERY long time.

This is after Johnny's walk with Miyagi, where he asks Darry's help for Miyagi.

He agrees and goes over to Miyagi's house, even though Miyagi ignored him when he asked for help.

All the same, Darry starts working on Miyagi's roof, but the old man starts talking to him:

"You know Johnny-san?"

"Yeah. He's a friend of mine."

"He know your brothers."

"Well, yeah. We're a gang. We have to know each other. We're kind of all we got."

Miyagi hums in contemplation as he tries to catch a fly with chopsticks.

Darry keeps working on the roof, but does take notice.

"Johnny did that the other day. Did you teach him that too?"

Miyagi remains silent as Darry continues to work.

Neither talk until some Socs drive by and throw slurs at Miyagi and Darry, calling Darry "white trash" and "scum."

Although Darry ignores it, Miyagi still checks on him.

"You don't hear?"

"I'm not really afraid of them. We just need to be careful of when they're mouths stop going and the blades come out."

Miyagi hums at this as Darry climbs down to grab more roof tiles.

"You hate?"

Darry pauses from climbing on the ladder to look at Miyagi.

"What?"

"Them. You hate them?"

Darry looks at his hands, but remains silent, only shaking his head. "No. Not really, at least."

Miyagi hums and nods. "Good."

Just as Darry reaches the roof, Miyagi asks another interesting question:

"Your brother? Little one? Friend of Johnny-San?"

"Yeah? What about him?"

"He like you."

Darry gives Miyagi a very incredulous look because he and Ponyboy are practically night and day; Darry was a football player and Ponyboy is a track runner. If the gang had video game stats, Darry would be a strength based character while Pony would be a speed based character. Darry doesn't read that much, but it's rare to see Pony without a book in his hands. Darry is a beef-cake beanpole and Ponyboy is a pipsqueak.

Darry doesn't spell all of this out, but he simply says he doesn't get it.

Miyagi, now that he thinks about it, gets really confused about something. "Why you work? Work is for the Father, not child."

Darry deflates and climbs back down to sit on the bottom rung. "Yeah, they're... they're gone. Car crash. It's just me and my brothers now. And the gang, I guess. I mean, they're about as close as we can have to a family, but... I just..."

In Darry's silence, Miyagi puts together what he's trying to say, both with and without words.

"You miss them?"

Darry nods.

"That why you work?"

Darry nods again, hands shaking. "Soda and me... We're all Pony has. They're all I have. Sure we're in a gang, but we're staying out of trouble as much as we can. We can't get in any trouble with the cops. I can manage just fine, but they'll... they'll go to a boys home."

Darry trembles, but Miyagi puts a hand on his shoulder.

"Little one. Pony the Boy. He love parents. He love you."

Darry fights a head shake as he chuckles. "All we do is fight. Barely see eye to eye most of the time."

"Try. Then try harder. He your brother. He need you. You need him."

Darry takes these words to heart when he gets home and finds Ponyboy asleep on the kitchen table, surrounded by homework and some books. I should mention that homework is complete and he's working on an art project, a protrait of Darry with a smile on his face. He sees the lines from where Pony messed up drawing said smile in order to get it right.

With a small smile, Darry carries Ponyboy to bed, resting him next Sodapop, who's awake enough to joke that they should put an ice cube in the back of his shirt.

Darry shakes his head.

The next day, even though they have a disagreement, a misunderstanding about what their parents would want or Pony being out late because it's dark and he's tired, and Darry, rather than let his fear and panic get the better of him, takes a figurative and literal step back, sitting in the armchair.

Ponyboy, confused and on edge because this is usually when they start yelling, also sits down, on the floor, though so they're facing each other.

Darry explains he understands that it was an accident, all the same he wishes that Pony was just a little more careful. Like Soda said, they're all they've got, blood-wise, and Darry doesn't want to lose anymore of his family.

Ponyboy nods, saying he'll try to be more careful, especially with the time. He also hopes that Darry gets that he never means for things like arriving home late to happen. Socs are notorious for crossing into Greaser territory, and while he says he'll be careful on the streets and outside, he admits he can't really help it if a mustang of Socs drive by and call him garbage.

Plus, he never reacts anyway. He's got brains, but he's admittedly at a loss of words, if/when they jump him.

Darry chuckles at that before getting up and crouching in front of Ponyboy, pulling him into a slightly awkward hug.

He tells him he worries about Pony because he's the baby of the family. He knows Pony can hold his own, but he's still the youngest. He's fast, but a mustang's faster. He's smart, but words are useless against a group of Socs with blades.

In the house and in the gang, Pony's the baby and he's off limits to getting punched or beaten, especially in practice Rumbles.

On the streets, however, he's just a kid. The Socs don't see him the way the gang does. To them, he's just a Greaser, someone they can pick on, all the easier because he's small. He wants Ponyboy to be safe, and the only way that can possibly happen is if he listens and does what he's told. It can get annoying and ot might rub him wrong, but it's because Darry loves him and wants to keep him safe, regardless of how well he can manage himself.

Ponyboy hugs him back, saying he isn't exactly Sodapop, he will slip up and things will happen because it's his bad, but he will try to be more careful. Goodness knows he's already made Darry grow enough grey hairs.

They continue to hug and say they love each other, even though their pains in each other's asses sometimes.

Since the weekend's coming up, and he's a teenager and not in trouble or getting yelled at, Ponyboy asks if he can see a movie with Johnny. He promises he won't stay out late, and will be back before curfew.

Darry snickers and says for Ponyboy's next birthday, instead of a book, he's getting Pony a damn watch. He then stands up and helps up Ponyboy, saying he can go, but all his work has to be done.

And to capture his cheeks next time Pony draws him.

They have a small mini session and share a side hug before Ponyboy goes off to his room to finish up his work.

They start getting along easier after this moment😁

[davidmann95]

So... Crossover #1: any thoughts?

Anonymous said: You seemed not to think much of Crossover #1 on Twitter. Your full thoughts?

wcwit said: So Cates' Crossover #1, best bad comic of the year or just regular pretentious trash?

An incidental note upfront: What you’re seeing there is the apparently SUPER-RARE SECRET VARIANT COVER I unwittingly picked up at the store - at first glance indistinguishable from the standard cover, the kid getting four-color-fucked by mysterious comic book rays is in fact themselves reading a variant cover of the book, rather than the main cover again in an infinite painting-within-a-painting sort of deal that’s the standard.

So I wasn’t gonna get this: my initial post on the comic and what an obviously awful idea it was back when we only knew half the premise and it was known as Pray The Capes Away actually got some out-of-nowhere traction recently, and I’ve grown rapidly tired of Cates’ Marvel work. Even learning that it was going to be Image’s biggest debut in decades - Jesus fuck, how and why - mostly just made me wish it was Commanders in Crisis getting those kinds of numbers. But Sean Dillon/@deathchrist2000 and Ritesh Babu both got early looks at it and assured me that I, specifically, needed to see the last page, so in I dove. I’ll be posting my reaction to the last page below because I recorded it for their amusement, and below that I’ll talk about said last page. It may surprise you, however, that that wasn’t my main takeaway from the issue.

Let’s accentuate the positive first! This book is gorgeous. Geoff Shaw was terrific back with Thanos Wins, but this is an incredible stylistic level-up aided and abetted by Dee Cunniffe’s colors: it’s rote as hell to say “They mix the elevated and the mundane so well!”, but even beyond the obvious ben-day dots stuff there’s such a tangible sense that the comic book beings don’t belong here, that they’re of higher, misty, platonic stuff and we squishy non-paper-people inevitably crumble and break and bleed in their wake, communicating that big idea so much more powerfully than the actual loads of text on the subject. And if we’re talking good things, I’ll concede it’s possible that there could be subtleties that play out in more interesting ways as it goes on, and that not everything is meant to be taken at face value: a smart friend who actually did like it mentioned being interested in it as clumsy but potentially effective exploration of ‘what if the fun hobby you had inadvertently became contaminated and stigmatized by forces beyond your control?’ In a post-Comicsgate world where we recently ended up inches away from the Superman logo almost certainly becoming a fascist propaganda symbol ala the Punisher skull for at least a generation, that’s a defensible lens to view this book through.

For all Donny Cates’ legitimate talents however, I don’t think an expectation of subtlety is gonna work out with this one.

Okay first off getting into the rest of it the main characters’ name is Ellipsis because “Those three little dots...they can become anything”, so there’s that. More importantly, in the world of this story where comic fans face social oppression after superpeople materialize and fuck up Colorado, they face EVERY KIND OF OPPRESSION: there are clear parallels drawn in here to the violence and harassment faced by people persecuted for their religion, people seeking abortions, queer people, and people of color; this motherfucker even drops a “hates and fears” to let us know comic collecting basically makes you one of the goddamn X-Men. Which in theory could be a purely misjudged allegory rather than stemming from actual, obscenely inflated to the point of disgusting fears of ‘nerd oppression’, except that the book literally opens with a quote from Wertham. If Cates didn’t want to make the message “Hating comics? That’s bad. Like, racism bad”, he utterly, grotesquely failed by inextricably intermingling imagery of real-world bigotry with systemic, deluded fanboy paranoia, at least as of this first issue that’s supposed to meaningfully convey the premise. As a queer dude I think I’m somewhat in my lane to say it’s too blunt and broad and dopey to be particularly offensive, but the co-opting of oppression is what this is rooted in.

The idea of ‘comics good no matter what people think, ain’t it?’ extends to the last traditional local comic store standing in this world: much as superheroes are the primary cause of suffering in this world but the point of the story is still supposed to reveal the beauty in them, part of this is that the comics community isn’t perfect but it sure is great. Which is expressed here via Ellie’s boss Otto, a loveable asshole who yells at people coming in trying to sell the wrong kind of comics to fuck off, but at heart is we’re supposed to understand a good enough dude that the shop he runs is “the only home a lot of (the benighted nerds) have left” (because I guess in this alternate universe the physical stores are still the main hub through which comics fans talk with one another?).

So here’s a story of my very own! That’s me in 2013, it must’ve been some kind of special day because I’m wearing a shirt with a button. I’d at that point only frequented one of what would be my thus far four regular comic shops. The first was a great place, and while to say I had a sense of community there would be overstating it a bit, I was on really good terms with the owner and we regularly chatted when we had the time. When I left for college my store there wasn’t as well-stocked, and for some damn reason all variant covers were double-price, but I got along really well with the owner there too. The third I wasn’t so lucky; the guy regularly behind the desk was never overtly hostile, but clearly wanted to wring my neck every time I asked when a missing comic might get in or if I could update my pull list, and given I’m in the ‘ideal’ demographic for being a comic book store regular and was dropping a solid lump of money there every week, I wonder how others were treated there (the store nearly went under, was saved on the last day of operation by another store that wanted to incorporate it as part of its franchise, then shortly afterwards DID go under and is now I believe a beef jerky place). My current store is fine, I didn’t chat much with the folks behind the counter even before we all had medical incentive to get in and out of places fairly quickly but it almost always has what I’m looking for.

Just because those were my regular stores of course doesn’t mean those are the only ones I’ve ever gone to. About a year before that picture was taken - it’s the closest I could find - when I was 17 my store didn’t have something or another I was looking for, so I head across town to see if another place I had looked up had it. This other place didn’t have what I was looking for either, though I distinctly remember picking up a few issues of Hickman’s FF while I was there since I had foolishly fallen off, hence my remembering the year. I bought a couple issues, but hung around for a bit looking to see if I might grab something else out of a dollar box, setting my comics down. Without realizing it, I’d set my books down on top of another issue, and when I decided I wasn’t getting anything else, I just picked that up along with the rest of the pile and was about to walk out before the owner stopped me. He explained what I had done though assumed it had been deliberate, and because I was a good-hearted little geek I even recall thinking “Well, he’s gonna chew me out, but I guess I deserve it. I’ll try and take this to heart as a learning experience.”

Then he pulled up his shirt a little to show me the gun on his belt. He pointed at the security camera monitors at his desk, and explained to me that if I ever did something like that again, he would have it on tape, and he would pull that gun on me and hold me there while he called the cops.

As it turned out, the comic was free.

The whole thing was so sudden and bizarre and unexpected I didn’t actually freak out until the drive home. It wasn’t until weeks or maybe months later that I managed to tell my dad about the experience, because I *had* nearly stolen a (free) comic and my guilt was mixed in with my nerves and I guess I was somehow too close to register just how disproportionate his response was. It wasn’t until now, nearly a decade later and thinking about it for the first time in a long time as I write this, that I wondered if that might have gone differently - especially living in the midwest - if I hadn’t been a white, squeaky-voiced 17-year-old.

So, minor spoiler, when our cantankerous but well-meaning LCS owner yells to call the cops and grabs and yells at a small kid for pocketing a comic (and later displays fantasy racism towards said kid), I am not filled with nostalgic love for the brotherly safe space that is comic book stores, where this guy while not meant to be seen as perfect is still framed in part as a charming, witty representation of Why We Love These Places, And This Community, And This Genre, And This Medium. Cates is clearly drawing on real time at his local stores, but he equally clearly has a very different takeaway from those experiences than me. And I am, again, in a demographic - white, cis-male, abled, bi but more interested in women, disposable income, a lifelong collector - that the industry and a lot of the guys who sell it to us contort themselves around catering to, even if I had a single very negative experience and later an ongoing low-key uncomfortable one to help disabuse me of any notions of the purity of the dork community. In the world of Crossover as of #1, toxicity is intertwined, deliberately or not on the part of the creators, with what we love on the cosmic and small business scales alike, but at least in the latter case it’s the whole picture that’s beautiful, not any single kernel that needs to be worked on to be dug up.

So underneath is my video reaction to the last page of Crossover #1. Very minor spoilers because I mutter the last two words of the comic to myself, but under the video I discuss said final page and some other scattered thoughts. Whether you read that or not, my takeaway is this: I’m fascinated with wherever the hell this thing is going, I’m glad my dad liked it well enough to want to keep getting it because now I’ll get to see where it heads, but my first impression is that this is at heart meant as cheapass Oscar-bait for people who only read Batman. It’s big and high-concept but also small and intimate! It’s meta and about how great you, the reader are for your consumption, especially the consumption of this! It’s going to be in large part about a forbidden love between a couple divided across impermeable social lines (a couple where they’re a seemingly straight white man and woman, but one likes comics)! Maybe it’ll become Not That, and I’m sure it’ll do at least something interesting along the way because Cates has done good stuff before and there are some inherently interesting big ideas for him to play with here, but for the love of god if you’re thinking about getting this buy Commanders in Crisis too or instead, it’s another new book out of Image about superheroes dealing with the collapse of the multiverse but that one is really fucking good.

So the final page splash reveal is that when the comic book child discovered in here got out of Colorado, which has had an impenetrable energy shield erected around it by one of the heroes for years, she and others were ferried out of there...by Superman, as the narration declares that “This is a story...about hope.” They don’t say the word, but she sketches her savior, Ellie and Otto freak out and go “Is that---” when they see it, and on that last page we see that while a crude drawing it isn’t a rough analogue character, it’s a guy with a cape and trunks with an S on his chest. Surprisingly, I don’t have much to say: it’s just another blunt signifier that superheroes rule and are the best, paired with the most utterly devalued notion as of late of what makes Superman special in ‘hope’. I mean, I’m perversely excited to see whether this is building the entire series on a hook it can never deliver on, or if Cates actually has talked DC into an intercompany crossover; believable given they’ve done a bunch of those over the last several years, and why else would Mark Waid be supervising as ‘story editor’ on this? I guess it’ll shake out one way or another with #6 given Cates has said it “has one of the more epic and — I would argue historic — sequences in comic book history in it.” But I’m far less convinced this is gonna truly go into the meaty question of “What does Superman mean and what makes him unique in this world where superheroes in general are indisputably either failures or monstrous bastards given the scale of destruction their presence has brought about, and he himself failed to stop that?” than as some kind of holy grail of how great superheroes are despite how dang violent they’ve gotten these days for the crew to chase after, whatever additional twist will surely be placed upon it. At least he’s kinda helping an immigrant kid get over a wall, if that’s deliberate?

Random final thoughts:

* If I wrote the opening essay and turned it in in a college course, I would be expelled for plagiarizing Grant Morrison. This is not a joke.

* If mainstream American superhero comics ended January 2017 in this universe, its own last ‘crossover’ was Civil War II, which is hilarious.

* God, please tell me if it takes the dive after all that this isn’t somehow tied into whatever Waid’s Superman project is.

* I wouldn’t normally crap on issues with the finer details of worldbuilding, but A. This is rooted in a nominally ‘real’ world playing by recognizable rules, B. I’m ragging on this anyway so what’s the harm, and C. It’s really obvious. So: Why is one of the racists against the superheroes the guy who loves superheroes so much he’s the last holdout in the entire world still selling comic books about them? How does this modestly-sized shop exist long-term with apparently a significant regular customer base if there are no new comics or even reprints to restock with, ever? Who’s buying the serialized cop/cowboy comics that the U.S. government apparently created pretty much overnight (nobody, it’s just another Wertham dig)?

* The solicit for issue #3 proclaims “Don't miss this one, folks. If you do, it just might drive you...mad.”, so now I fear some kind of Ultra Comics riff.

* “Kids love chains” is the most metal-ass quote of all time and I hate that it’s being wasted as an arc title on this book.

[shananigans402]

1-65 will do, please. Thanks fuck face :)

I knew exactly who this was and I was so tempted to not reply, but your punishment is having to read through all my answers and remember them forever or you fail the friend test. To everyone else, please do not click unless you want to be very bored, my answers are not interesting lol

1. Do you ever doubt the existence of others than you? Nope

2. On a scale of 1-5, how afraid of the dark are you? Assuming 5 is the most, 1. Maybe 2. 

3. The person you would never want to meet? The person who sent me this (jk I’m excited for our eventual meet up where we hit up a strip club first thing 🙏)

4. What is your favorite word? I answered with ‘conniption’ the other day and still have not found a word I like more.

5. If you were a type of tree, what would you be? Already answered this, fruit tree! I also like palm trees, maple trees, and willow trees. I know that’s not the question, I’m just saying random shit now.

6. When you looked in the mirror this morning what was the first thing you thought? It took me a long while to remember where I was this morning. I honestly don’t remember, I was rushing to get ready for an early morning meeting.

7. What shirt are you wearing? My Orlando Strong shirt 

8. What do you label yourself as? Lesbian

9. Bright room or dark room? Bright room

10. What were you doing at midnight last night? Sleeping? Possibly checking on a feverish little beeb who was going through it with her second dose of the vaccine.

11. Favorite age you’ve been so far? No idea. I like various ages for different reasons, but this age so far is not bad. 

12. Who told you they loved you last? Probably my sister 🤷‍♀️

13. Your worst enemy? The person who sent this ask.

14. What is your current desktop picture? The apple pic of Catalina island that changes based on time of day (yes it’s the default, don’t judge me)

15. Do you like someone? Lol yeah I hope so 😂

16. The last song you listened to? Pretty Girl by Hayley Kiyoko 

17. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up? Definitely @raginage

18. Who would you really like to just punch in the face? I feel like I can only attack Raginage so many times. Can I pick a fictional character? This week I was real mad at Dave in The Darkness. BaBe!​

19. If anyone could be your slave for a day, who would it be and what would they have to do? Lol no one, you’re talking to a person who feels very uncomfortable with anyone doing anything nice for them.

20. What is your best physical attribute? (showing said attribute is optional) Not this again. Last time I said eyes? Still no pics, sorry

21. If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you look like and what would you do? What would I look like? Do I get to design myself like a sim? I honestly don’t know what I’d do because I doubt the world needs another clueless white man walking around, so maybe just stay at home. 

22. Do you have a secret talent? If yes, what is it? Nope. And my last answer to this was awful. I do think I have a fantastic ability to annoy my friends but in a way that’s just amusing/endearing enough to make them still want to talk to me 😌

23. What is one unique thing you’re afraid of? Unique? Uhm well my two big fears are confined spaces and deep water so a submarine is like my worst nightmare.

24. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your disposal. Oh this is going to sound so odd. To be clear, I’ve had better sandwiches, but my go-to is provolone, turkey, roast beef, and spicy brown mustard or whole grain mustard. Please don’t judge me.

25. You just found $100! How are you going to spend it? Travel budget for future trips to visit my buds and get into trouble and eat food. I know $100 won’t go far, but it’s something.

26. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately. Where are you going to go? Well, after my last answer I want to visit my friends! But there are too many people to visit and I only have one ticket. So change of plans. I’m going on a solo trip to Greece. Or Argentina. Or Iceland. Or Bali. Damn, I’m indecisive. 

27. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. “Be brand-specific” it says. Man! What are you gonna say about that? Even if you don’t drink booze there’s something you can figure out… so what’s it gonna be? Rabble red blend. Just a solid red wine. Also because @viola-lloyds stole my answer the other day (Juneshine; to be fair I asked her this question but whatever) and I don’t want to copy her.

28. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place? Oh I answered this one, something about respecting others. Yeah, a nice rule like that. Want to establish some healthy communication on this island.

29. What is your favorite expletive? It’s still fuck

30. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the one thing you’re going to save from that blazing inferno? But what about my PLANTS. Can they count as loved ones? Probably my laptop, I know that’s lame but like...I have a lot of stuff on here. Or the collection of cards I have that my granddad drew little drawings in, I want to get them all framed.

31. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be? To be honest, I don’t know if I’d change big life events in case it altered the trajectory of where I ended up. So idk maybe the ending of Bly, let’s give those lesbians have a happy ending!

32. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world! Italy! But wait, let’s get back to this sleeping with celebrities and super-powers bit...

33. The Celestial Gates Of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person/etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back? Oh that’s a really tough question. I always wanted to meet my great-grandma Olga because she seemed like a really awesome lady. 

34. What was your last dream about? I can’t remember, this is bothering me because I wish I could! I’m sorry. My gf recently had a dream where I kissed a dude right in front of her. It made us both very uncomfy lol

35. Are you a good….[insert anything you’d like here]? I hate this question because I can only think of one thing.

36. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital? For surgery, yeah

37. Have you ever built a snowman? But of course!

38. What is the color of your socks? Not wearing any? I was wearing blue ones earlier. Jfc my answers are so boring.

39. What type of music do you like? Lots! I tend to listen to indie, classic rock, and some pop

40. Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets? Sunsets!

41. What is your favorite milkshake flavor? Chocolate or a variant (chocolate peanut butter, chocolate caramel)

42. What football team do you support? (I will answer in terms of American football as well as soccer) LA Rams or Seattle Seahawks. I know they’re in the same division. It’s tough. (Please don’t ask me why these teams)

43. Do you have any scars? Yep, mostly from burning myself on ovens. I simply get too excited for my food.

44. What do you want to be when you graduate? I...have graduated? 

45. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? Well bestie recently said I have “lesbian hands” and I think that’s code for man hands so maybe that hahaha

46. Are you reliable? I try to be!

47. If you could ask your future self one question, what would it be? How many more times will I watch The Darkness before I learn my lesson? (Related: When does other bestie finally admit to her fetish?)

48. Do you hold grudges? Not typically, no

49. If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what new animal would you create? A dog and an otter? Can we domesticate otters? No, a horse and a large bird, create a pegasus and then free travel.

50. What is the most unusual conversation you’ve ever had? Oh god. I don’t even know where to start today tbh. Damie and pokemon and cosycon and looming and feet and [redacted] and developing apps for VP. So many fantastic conversations. 

In real life, probably the time I was at a laundromat in Italy and this guy wandered in with a beer, sat next to me and my male roommate, assumed we were a couple, and proceeded to give us bizarre life advice. I wish I could remember more of it, but it was so odd.

51. Are you a good liar? Hmm I’m okay at it I think, that is, I can convince people I’m serious when I’m actually joking. But I don’t like actually lying if it’s not just teasing someone. 

52. How long could you go without talking? Probably a few days if I had to.

53. What has been you worst haircut/style? The haircut I got before studying abroad! It was too short and I was so sad.

54. Have you ever baked your own cake? For a birthday? No. For fun? Absolutely.

55. Can you do any accents other than your own? Not well, no

56. What do you like on your toast? Butter and/or honey and/or jam

57. What is the last thing you drew a picture of? My beautiful depiction of a scene of chapter one of Private Dancer. 

58. What would be you dream car? An electric car of some sort. I don’t know enough about cars tbh

59. Do you sing in the shower? Or do anything unusual in the shower? Explain. Nope but sometimes I’ll play music and dance and maybe softly sing.

60. Do you believe in aliens? Yep! Definitely 

61. Do you often read your horoscope? Almost never unless someone sends it to me.

62. What is your favorite letter of the alphabet? Already answered, A

63. Which is cooler: dinosaurs or dragons? Dinosaurs! 🦕

64. What do you think about babies? What do I think about them? They’re pretty cool. Just tiny little humans. 

65. Freebie! Ask anything interesting you can think of. I was very nice and let you correct your mistake and submit one after the fact:

In your opinion what is the best thing you can cook, like your speciality? My favorite thing to make is pasta, I started making my own sauce and I’d love to make pasta from scratch sometime.

[bourbon-ontherocks]

(Previously, on GG rewatch...)

Jesus. Lots of nonsense, in this ep, lots of nonsense. But I love Max as a character so it’s okay!

Lololol at Beth comparing turning down a scholarship and stealing from a dangerous gang leader as if it was A Thing

Never tired of Max's obsessive corkboard and excessive love for frozen yoghurts.

Jesus juice???? WHAT IS THIS???

I’m really intrigued by the game that Stan and the girls are playing at

"I used to be a cop." "And I used to teach preschool." I LOVE Diane's logic!!

Aaaaah, the enchanted world of the Bolands' everchanging magic bathroom!! Kind of a Narnia portal at this point...

I absolutely love how a seduction attempt turns into the weirdest Beth-Dean convo about deodorants. They NEVER are on the same page. It’s literally their relationship in a nutshell.

I really like this parallel between Max holding a gun and asking for "his girl", and, you know, the other weirdo wandering around with a gun and "ma girl"-s...

Annie's "Take it from her" and "she would know" in response to Beth telling Max that killing Rio isn't easy just cracks me up every time

MAN POPS UP LIKE A GENIE

"It would not." BETH WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME????

I love that Annie not knowing where is Kansas City is actually so plausible that Rio buys it for real!!!

I know I said that before, but where can I purchase this "speak the Ruth" RBG cloth bag, please?

So JT knows that the girls craft fake cash, rob stores, want to borrow money for a HITMAN, and he's just... cool with it? People are weird.

Ugh, see, that's the problem with countries where everybody can purchase a gun, you can't rob your friend's store in peace...

Not sure that getting involved in some beef with the Russian maffia is Diane's best idea ever, but okay...

I love how Beth claims that she has no bars on her phone, then calls 911 barely 20 seconds later, and the man with the gun just doesn't realize it...

Retta's acting right after the shooting scene is AMAZING. Also Ruby would totally make abstraction of the pain and roll her eyes with a "oh no" at the news that Annie saved her life!!

Lowkey surprised that Annie is actually able to compute 10% of zero...

The girls nicknaming Max MaxiPads is BRILLIANT

I absolutely lose it every time to the fact that Beth took the time to draw a neck tattoo on a FUCKING TARGET!!!! She's a nerd in love. I love her

Also Beth's "oh boy" the first time Max grabs the gun cracks me up every time.

"Who's a badass?" "You are"... Jesus. Now imagine this happening between Beth and Rio...

Gosh, the whole gun lessons montage is GOLD. I'm not sure that Beth's super legitimate at teaching gun shooting given her poor track record, but just imagining every sequence with Rio instead of Max is absolutely delightful. I can't believe we got robbed of this.

I love how Rio doesn't order anything to drink for Beth!! The pettiness!! And then leaves the drink to her, like... THEY DRINK FROM THE SAME GLASS????

Can't make up my mind about whether Rio knows the truth or not about Max. He doesn't look very tense but at the same time, he doesn't trust Beth with anything so I wouldn't be surprised if he'd done some research... But if he doesn't know at all, he must think that both Beth and Max are lunatics, they're acting so weirdly during that meet!!!

THE. PAT. ON. THE. SHOULDER.

Is it me or telling and adult who wet their pants that your kids do it all the time is like the most mortifying thing ever??

I really feel bad for Max, though.

Another weird line about Emma only justifying the actress' absence I suppose...

I love the absolutely unnatural way the kids run out of the living room, they look like a joggers group!!

Dean making the kids watch Snakes on a plane is actually smart parenting, I'm impressed!

Oh I like this callback from the beginning of the episode with the pseudo-inspirational T-shirt and Annie finding her port!

I really really love Stan's arc this season and the way his morality switch is for once built-up in a meaningful and well-paced way

Dean: "this is the last thing he'll take from us"  Rio: *Takes EVERYTHING in the house*

BLIZRABETH

DON'T EVER STEAL FROM ME AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!

This is like, the pettiest move Rio's ever done. He's a lunatic. Sounds like a lot of effort for someone who "got over it". Just sayin...