#but when asked for hard opinions regarding design I usually have at least some

[spearxwind]

Since you're on the topic I have genuine question about AI art designs from a non-artist.

In your opinion would using an AI tool to generate a reference for a commission (whether it be for character design or pose) be an appropriate use of said tools?

I thought about this as well and I gotta say, personally I don't think so.

Barring for the purpose of this ask the whole "AI art is stolen art" thing (which I stand by fiercely), AI generated images are really janky, especially reference sheets. There are details everywhere that make no fucking sense, anatomy is deformed, they have a lot of nonsensical parts to them so its just one big jumble of nothing.

And, it's pulling from designs created by existing artists and warping them to fit your prompt. It's work that another artist already made, used by an AI that's trained on a specific dataset. It also pulls from popular things that people enjoy: tried and true color combos, the most popular shapes that big artists use, theres a LOT of waifus, and a lot of the art genuinely comes in the same painterly style that's really hard to color pick from. some even come with color swatches that don't match the colors on the reference

In short, it's just a machine generating something that looks neat at first glance, and then is actual hot garbage when you just... look at it closely. Not to mention that an AI prompt can be iterated, and the AI pulls from everything it has, for every prompt, so what you end up getting is completely samey designs with small changes. Good for concept art assistance, but not if you want to create a Legit Character. The AI will give you something that it has already spit out a thousand times over and then some, with no regards to composition, design technique, color theory, because all it knows is what it has been fed and what the artists its ripping off of know (meaning if they have mistakes, the AI will as well. But in a far less human way)

Meanwhile, when you commission someone you are likely to go for someone whos art style will actually fit what you want to get, or someone whos art style you enjoy. Usually these artists will be people you've followed for a while and you at least know them enough to know what they can do. And they are also reactive, you can tell them to actually change and tweak details of what they're making for you. And not taking into account the bad actors out there (as there are always bad actors in every discipline) you will have something that has been made specifically FOR you, not just what a machine thinks you would perceive as eye candy.

As for poses... just draw it badly in ms paint. The AI will not give you the pose you want for the aforementioned reason: broken anatomy (and also because it will pull from its dataset of poses it can warp features onto. It's a lot more limited than you think.) If you want a pose prompt for a commission just draw it really badly in ms paint or on a napkin and write annotations for the artist (arm goes here, this guy is grabbing this thing, etc etc) Most of us if not all of us will GLADLY interpret your pose for you and draw whatever you want us to.

And like. Literally if you're going to get commissions anyway, why not commission a design first thing of all?? Or buy an adoptable from people who already make them by hand? It will genuinely be so much better than just hoping a machine does all the work for you. Please support artists

[sabineelectricheart]

Something Cailan Cannot Have

Summary: Vaughan feels slighted by the king, so he goes fuck his mistress. Elissa takes without complaint.

Rating: R - Content features heavy themes. Not suitable for most audiences. Consult warnings before proceeding.

Explicit depictions of violence. Reader discretion is highly advised.

Words: 1500

Notes: Okay, this is hardcore. This is a bit off from what I usually put up, see if you can spot why.

“Hurry up already.” Lord Kendalls demands, impatient.

“I am doing this as fast as I can, milord.” Elissa grumbled, irritated by the recurrent complaints.

She is struggling to untie her own corsets and tights down to her ankles. It is something hard to do without a maid, and her current partner is not interested in doing this for her or helping in any way. Being selfish is nothing new for her current partner, but the fact that he would be a direct benefactor in getting her out of the courtly attire as fast as possible drove the point home.

This is no trouble for him, as Vaughan unbuckled his belt fast and slid his trousers down without a problem. Not only due to the nature of men’s clothes in their realm, but also because this sort of activity on a out-of-way corridor in the castle is nothing new to him.

it had to of been fourth hour and Vaughan was struck in his sour mood that only she usually could cure. However, she could tell he was a lot more aggravated than usual by the way he had gripped her arm so tightly when pulling her away from the banquet in the hall.

Elissa is guessing it was from Cailan and his usual spiel. That is always what it ever was and probably always would be and, despite her low opinion on the overblown pride of the arl’s son’s, she could not blame him in that regard.

Cailan could be an absolute asshole when it came to her. He is always saying nasty things that insinuated his attraction towards her, some unrefined, barbarian conversation that would have no place in a civilized court. The sort of things that he knew got into Vaughan’s head, no matter any amount of reassurance.

When in those moods, Vaughan only took the argument of her body against his.

“Do you want me to fuck you or not?” He asks, bitterly.

“Shut up. You try and take these tights off.” Elissa snide, taking the time to glare venomously at her partner.

She still struggles to pull down the material of her underclothes, with its many laces and knots. She briefly wonders whether noblewomen’s clothes are designed to be complicated, so they could not have extramarital sex.

If so, it is not having the desired results.

“I will rip them apart if I have to.” He growled.

She scowled, finally pulling them from her legs, freeing access to her nether regions. As the knots fall away, her companion is allowed to have his hot hands sneak underneath her skirt. With it, he pulled her lacy panties down to her ankles with a agile kneel, then pulling it from her foot before balling the silk fabric into his pocket.

Elissa could not help but whimper from the position she was in. He was kneeled at her feet with hooded eyes, holding her hips now as she tipped her head back now against the wall already deep in a haze of lust.

“Troublesome woman. To know that I am the one who wanted you!” He shook his head. “I always forget about how needy for cock you can get.”

Vaughan held a smirk from thinking about how persistent she was to at least keep some sort of dignified stance at court. Reputation is one of those things that those who have it, fight to protect it. He would not know, as he was never seen in too much of a high regard by the other nobles of Ferelden.

Not anymore. He will have Lady Cousland scream, and he will have the entire city hear her and know why.

He is now back to his feet, looking down at the woman like she is a little helpless puppy. How he liked to kick those.

“Just, please, shut up and fuck me already, Lord Vaughan.” She demanded.

Elissa tilted her head to the side with a frown, gripping both sides of his winter coat, pulling him closer. It did not last too long, as he shrugged it off quickly, not being able to wait after the sweet whiny sound of her voice when properly stimulated.

“Very well, but only because you asked me nicely.” He smirked, a wicked glint in his eyes.

Vaughan licks his index and middle finger before swiftly curling them back under her skirt and into her cunt. Once inserted and moving inside, she groaned at the warm and raptured feeling.

“What a good girl you are, Lady Cousland.” His voice is warm and there is a hint of taunt in his voice, but it is still filled with a twisted sort of praise.

The man never fails to make her stomach clench in euphoria when he uses this parlance with her as he pumps his fingers in and out of her, making sure she was wet. Perhaps this is the only thing this man is good for.

Vaughan pulled back, finally undoing his belt swiftly, in a single motion. He is then quick to thrust into her channel, prompting a moan from her mouth as her head tipped backed against the wall. The man had inhaled sharply, allowing his cock to adjust to the tightness of her cunt, something he never quite got used to, had grown addicted to the sort of pleasures acquired by coin on some sort of establishment.

He swore under his breath as he pressed further into Elissa, allowing warmth and easy pleasure to consume him whole.

“Pretty girl.” He tsked, pulling out his member ever so slowly before rushing back in even harder than before. “You act like this only for me and my cock, does you not?”

“Yes, Vaughan.” She responded honestly.

Her voice was barely above a whisper as her vision was going spotty from his cock stretching out her walls with the rough thrusts which he was pumping into her.

“Good.” He mumbled breathlessly, holding on to moans himself. “I love seeing you come undone on my cock.”

The nobleman grabbed both her thighs with violence, drawing blood from his nails, prompting her to jump. Once she did, he had her back against the wall, now having a consistent pace that made her more of a complete mess than before.

“I love being the only one who can see you like this, who can make you behave like this.” His forehead presses against her own, teasing his lips on hers through violent biting. “Tears in her eyes, blood on your skin, my marks all over your sinful body. Fucking Cailan could never, could he? You are mine.”

“Yes, Vaughan.” She whined and wheezed breathlessly as his hand suddenly clasped around her throat, squeezing firmly while his eyes looked down to watch his thick cock pump in and out of her cunt with wet noises. “I am all for you to use as you please.”

“You have such a pretty mouth.” His thumb dipped to pull on her bottom lip before pressing it on her tongue. “Do you ever think of what good you could do with it instead of feeding into Cailan’s nonsense?”

“I never…!” Elissa coughed, shaking her head in emphatic denial.

Vaughan slaps her quiet.

“Lies.” He spat

The movement forces him to drop her fast to her feet, almost making her lose balance and fall to her knees. Her lack of balance is not only due to the sudden change on weights, but also how strong of a feeling was oozing through her body, making she feel like brittle bones as she wobbled, hoping to steady herself.

Vaughan is not that patient. Before she could regain balance, he flipped her around quickly, so her face is now pressed the wall tightly. His right hand holds her head in position and presses even harder.

“I see you tease him for something he cannot have, slut. You are always provoking him.” He accuses, angrily.

“But you like that, do you not, Vaughan?” Elissa inhaled sharply as he shoved into her once more. “You love it that Cailan finally cannot have something, something of yours.”

He grunted in response, having nothing to say about her argument but to melt back into her body with rough strokes. His hand wraps around her waist and he scratches her again, this time further down her thighs.

He is getting more aggressive now, his pumps becoming slams.

“Fucking cunt, I own you. You are mine.” He grumbles and bites her. “I want you to stay away from Cailan.”

“Yes, Vaughan.” Elissa groaned, the feeling of his cock twitching inside of her causing her own high to draw near and move down. “I am only yours.”

Once he is finished, Vaughan pulls up his trousers, kicks her while she is down for good measure and leaves, likely back to the banquet hall to goad and celebrate their king. Elissa, in turn, return to her chambers and erases the marks of the acts she performed overnight.

In the morning, there will be another day.

*_*_*_*_*

Dragon Age: Origins Masterlist

[gothamopossum]

Fashion Rant: Alastor Edition

There are two characters that I find the most visually grating: Alastor and Vox (they can fight over who wins first place). But this rant is all about Alastor, as asked for by @ckret2

I love the characters, don’t get me wrong. But a rant is a rant. To preface this entire spiel, it’s worth noting that not all things that look good in real life look good in animation (and vice versa). Usually, though, the disparity between their visual appeal across both mediums isn’t that large. BUT THIS. It’s already hanging on by a thread in the cartoon. I cannot for the life of me imagine this ever existing in real life AND looking good.

I will try to break his outfit down and format it so that this is all easier to understand. Fair warning: in total, this is about 1400 words roasting our beloved demon.

Overall Issues

The Fit: Suits from the 1900s and the next several decades are looser and cut a boxier figure (I’m talking American fashion, specifically). I find fit just as, if not more indicative of time period compared to a lot of other key visual indicators (which can sometimes be shared by decades far apart)

The Color: I think we can all agree he’s too red. Too much red. I love the color red but damn. As elaborate suits were at the time, suits in that color family were closer to a duller red/maroon, with the brighter reds either being in the tie, pocket square, boutonniere, or other accessories. Borderline monochromatic suits also weren’t in vogue. More colors meant a more elaborate look, and a more elaborate look meant you were fashionable.

Too many fabric/color changes within the same garment (I’ll get into this in a later)

Lack of accessories: Although much of this is down to personal preference, the general vibe was that you had at least some bling on you.

I will say, however, that despite the excessive use of pinstripes in other characters, the one character they are bang on for is Alastor. Pinstripes were incredibly fashionable starting the 20s and I think tapered off somewhere in the 50s.

Specific Elements

The Collar & Coat

I’ll start with the collar. I’m treating this as a separate entity since I can’t surely say if it’s a part of the coat OR the shirt.

There are two options: Either his shirt has a bright red body that transitions into a dark red standing collar, or (this one is more likely) the coat closes up again at the neck, meaning there are two useless flaps of stiff fabric masquerading as lapels at chest height.

From the perspective of garment construction, lapels are meant to support and decorate the suit at the neck opening. The presence of ANOTHER method of jacket closure much higher up the neck make the lapels redundant and confusing, not to mention the fact that they’re in an entirely different fabric/color.

So to me, not only is this nothing but a glorified, decorated boob window (watch out, Angel Dust). But also a pointless one since we don’t even see his chest, but instead that thing, that shirt underneath.

The tattered ends of his coat seem to be a matter of choice since they don’t appear on any other character. So either the coat is incredibly old and it hasn’t been repaired due to possible sentimental value, or this is some thinly veiled nod to something we don’t know yet. The tattered bits, on top of the rest of his coat, are a lot.

The Cuffs

I thought at first that the bright red bits on the coat were the ends of the shirt, but then I found this reference image showing a smaller black cuff on his left hand and none on the right.

That means 3 things:

That the Ugly Shirt changes color AGAIN (from red to black) at the cuff (Why????)

That the jacket changes color and/or fabric at the cuff (WHY????????????. This makes me want to set them on fire. I can’t even find an example of a suit jacket changing color just at the cuff. That’s how bad it is. Even bad clothing designers in real life know NOT to do it. It makes your arm look shorter than it actually is); and

That the shirt cuff migrates to and fro, sometimes hiding under the jacket and sometimes showing, which is borderline a sin in menswear. Any tailor worth their salt keeps the cuff of the shirt showing regardless of the arm position of the person wearing the suit (conventionally by about ¼” past the jacket cuff at resting position, if my knowledge serves me correctly). Just imagine a guy in real life without the shirt cuff showing past the jacket – in some way he looks nakey.

So, a summary of the Hideous Coat: has two different closures (a standing collar AND separate lapels), a boob window, is made up of FOUR different fabrics (pinstripe body, plain red sleeves & collar, dark lapels, and bright cuffs), and a tattered hem.

A side note: Because I see people drawing men in suits with a lot of folds in it. A suit, since it’s conception, has always been meant to cut a dignified and elegant figure. Unless it’s made of light fabrics usually used in summer suits, like silk or linen, THAT MANY folds just means the suit is incredibly poorly made. (especially when you see the sleeve twist. That is the worst offender. Why waste gasoline when you can use that suit jacket to start the fire instead).

The Shirt

Several people have already mentioned this, but the shirt is UNtucked (I concur – unacceptable), has this cross emblazoned on the front, has said cross end in the middle of the shirt, and, as we have now established, changes color at the cuff. Now, differently colored shirt cuffs do work. But the only good examples that I know of are a more colorful shirt body (usually a pale pastel or another soft color), and white cuffs (sometimes with the matching white collar). Graphic elements in menswear like the cross also didn't really exist on garments until about the 50s/60s, but even then not on dress shirts, just sweaters and cardigans.

I saw someone mention the use of a dickey – which only works if Alastor has some sort of vest or waistcoat involved. But since we don’t see any indication of a vest, I’m just going to assume that the bits we see exposed are all parts of one shirt. *shudder*

All things considered, I think that the Ugly Shirt is definitely the lesser offender of Alastor’s Hot Mess Outfit compared to the Hideous Coat. I say lesser offender because if you tuck this shirt in and add a couple accessories, then immediately it’s already not the worst thing you’ve seen on this planet. That coat is a different story.

The Pants

His pants should be tapered at the ankle, not flared out. However, a loose pant leg of approximately the same circumference all the way down would also be acceptable.

On to the accessories

Monocle: its presence I don’t have as much of a problem with as I do its color. The metal bits I find are hard to see against the dark bits of his hair (not to mention that shinier metallics were more of a norm then compared to the duller finish we see on Al’s monocle). But also WHY would it be tinted?????? Hell already seems red as fuck. WHY do you need a red tinted monocle????

Bowtie: WHY is the knot a different color????????? Hand tied (hell, even pre-tied) bowties are made of ONE fabric all the way. Unless this is one of those artisan clip on bowties using feathers or other unconventional materials (but it doesn’t look like it).

Gloves: The closest thing I can think of for these gloves are modern driving gloves. Driving gloves have holes along the knuckles that either show skin or a different fabric. (However, driving/men’s gloves back then didn’t even look like that. Just short, solid leather gloves with seams on the back of the hand). I have no excuse for the tips. To me they look like those tips you have so you can use smartphones despite glove usage. But we all know Alastor would never.

Speaking of the gloves, there’s something going on between Al & Vox and Al & Sir Pentious. We all know Viv likes to repeat a certain theme across characters with connections, like hearts with Angel, Valentino, Cherri, and Husk. Alastor, Vox, and Sir Pentious all have the exact same glove design. We all knew they had beef, but this is just visual confirmation in the character design.

I almost forgot his hair: Sure, the undercut may have been popular at the time, but that was in tandem with slicked back hair. An undercut + that rag of a mane Alastor has going on is just so confusing to me. Again, WHY???????

His outfit confuses me to no end and whenever I draw his canonical outfit I have to actively shove away thoughts of “BUT WHAT IS THAT? WHAT IS THIS CONNECTED TO? WHY THIS COLOR?” otherwise I risk having an aneurysm.

[hohoz]

How RE Village (8) SOLVED almost every problem that I had with RE Series

Okay - a few weeks ago I made a post that was “The ones that suffer the most” where I showed and explained my main problems with Chris and Jill and the RE series in general 

RE 1 is my fav game of this series and probably one of my all time favs, I player every RE there is to be played except 4 (because I dislike Leon, sry) 

Recently, specially after 4, the franchise had a few problems, specially in writing/map design/lore 

Resident evil 5 for example (I love this game) but it has it flaws, Chris there is only driven by anger and action - Sheva is used as a tool for lore exposition and to be Chris’s new partner 

PLEASE: be aware that game at that generation didn’t have much lore - with some exceptions, like God of War 1 2 3 were a simply game with a simple lore, and the most recent GoW has evolved a little bit in the storytelling

Until we hit rock bottom in RE6 - I know a lot of people like this game, but this is only and action game, bad writing and generic stages. 

Chris there is so mistreated that makes me mad (if you want to read more about this go to my other post “the ones that suffer the most”)

Until RE7 appeared, Capcom had a new engine and they wanted to do a game that was more horror like - since RE is know for being a Survival horror game.

I liked 7 - some people complained about Ethan being without emotion and others complained about the mold, a few didn’t like the FEAR vibes from Eveline. 

I personally enjoyed the game, I thought RE series was going back on track, that game has it’s problems but it was really nice compared to what we had in 6.

After that game I had a conversation with my best friend and I said that I wanted a game that portrayed Umbrella’s fall since the only game that shows this is Umbrellas Chronicles (and that is most a resume of what happened)

And I said: “Bro, I wish that when they made that game, they could tie some mythological lore and human evolution before Umbrella - using Spencer, this would solve LOT OF STUFF and open new ways to handle this series”

and guess what - this happened in RE8 and kudos to the one writer that did that, i have my gratitude. 

RESIDENT EVIL 8 is probably one of the BEST RE games that we had IN YEARS

And I want to address all thing that I loved in this game and do some predictions to what will happen in the next games.

“WELL WELL IF IT ISN’T ETHAN WINTERS” (The Father of the year)

My father was not a great guy... really, so I want to be the best dad ever, I really want be like Ethan - a guy who is ready to sacrifice and fight every monster in the way to save my family. 

Ethan was a character that in RE7 was used to make us fell like that it was us in the Baker’s house, so that is why he didn’t had that much personality (in my opinion) but they changed that in RE8, here he has nice dialogues AND a diary 

He has one of the best story line in the whole REverse, a guy that did EVERYTHING in his power to save his daughter - and you saw that playing the game, every sentence line that he delivered, he tried to save others too and even tho Chris said to him stay put ... but he couldn’t, he had to go to the altar, he had to help Chris, he had to go forward and keep going, specially after having the tools to face Heisenberg. 

The plea from a father, that was his last wish, after he heard that Mia was alive he knew that someone had to stop that monster, he made a promise to his daughter “Daddy won’t let those weird fairy tale monsters get you” so he trusted Chris, to be the one that teaches his kid how to be brave and strong

I will not address Chris and Rose situation here because this is Ethans part and he deserves completely all the spotlight, his sacrifice was 100x times better than Steve (CV)/Piers(6)

My cheers to Ethan Winters - You have my respect !

Revelations -> RE8 

So leaks from earlier times said that RE8 sucked and Revelations 3 was amazing

Revelations FYI is know for using old tales in RE stories 

Revelations 1 - Dante’s Inferno 

Revelations 2 - Frans Kafka 

Revelations 3 - Dracula 

But since RE8 sucked, Capcom said to the REV3 team that they could make REV3 become RE8 and they accepted 

Revelations series is one of the best in the games, they handle Jill in a way that I love, Claire and even Barry - so they deserve all the spotlight for making this awesome game - you CLEARLY can see that they love this series and that they treat all the characters with the love that they deserve. 

Keeping that in mind, they are the same team that made Rev 2 and in REV 2 we have this file here 

So they had a plan for Jill and we can see that in RE8 - I will address that later but keep that in mind - this team cares for the old characters, they were the ones that brought Barry back to the games :V 

Chris Redfield 

This is a hard one, because he is my fav character and I usually have the most critics regard him, since I’ve expect a lot from Capcom 

In the latest games they made him kind dumb, only muscles type of guy and an alcoholic that let all the people in his surroundings die (RE5,RE6,Vendetta) 

RE6 treats him the WORST

But in RE8 he had an amazing part in the storyline, it was obvious that he wasn’t evil and they FIXED HIS EYE COLOR - FINALLY 

I still don’t like the model face that much but it’s way better than 7 - so I believe Capcom, I still feel that he need more jawline 

But let’s go to the most important thing - here he really feels like a squad leader and a veteran, he has his team but he is the one in the front line, he covers and ask for help when he needs, everything about his line delivery makes you feel like “Woah, this guy is a badass, he is not some stupid guy only driven by emotions”

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR FINALLY GETTING THIS RIGHT 

If you remember my post about the ones that suffer the most / Jill is also in that list and I will talk about her a little bit later but if my guess is right RE8 saved her character aswell

Another thing that I enjoyed here is the fact that he is kind of a mercenary / Neo Umbrella kind of guy, even tho he is one of the founders of the BSAA

So I will give you all my score to this game: 

9/10

I won’t give 10/10 because of some technical issues, the cursor lock didn’t work and mouse sensitivity was i dunno, not the best. 

RE8 and the future (PREDICTIONS)  - Jill Valentine, Chris Redfield, BSAA, Neo Umbrella, Ada Wong and Rosemary

First let’s look Rose

The first time I saw Rose all grown up - I thought to myself : She has the same problem as Eveline (age a lot faster than normal) 

But she also absorbed Miranda’s power since the metalicite (something like this) thought that she was a better host. - so maybe she will live longer or something because I doubt that they will do a 14 years time skip. 

This is not the same as Terra Save logo (Claire’s job) but it kind reminds me of it - her shoes appeared at least 3 times in this cut scene so maybe they are trying to show some hints with this 

She really reminds me of Jodie (Beyond two souls, a game where a girl has a lot of power and the gov uses her in missions and stuff, but she also is learning how to be her own person) 

Another thing here is that they don’t have a logo in this car, it really reminds me the car that Chris as using in RE8 

This supports the theory that Chris’s organization is dealing with her instead of the BSAA, the she is a hot headed girl and that she had a lot of powers. 

So here you can say that she is just a kid because she is a teenager, but what if she actually grows older really fast (like Eveline) maybe this is just 1 year later / 2 yrs later. (after RE8)

So this is the tricky part, this is Chris’s guard/soldier, someone that Chris trust to stand by her side, in my mind I do believe that Chris is kind of a father figure to her, so when this guys says this he is thinking about hot head Chris but she replies “Yeah” thinking about Ethan - (she has the mold memories, so she can actually remember Ethan’s memories) 

Now let’s look at this 

BSAA 

So in REV1 is hinted that BSAA is not the best organization in the world, but since our heroes work there we think that they are the good guys right ? 

In REV 2 (it’s important to remember that the team that created RE8 is the same from the REVELATIONS and they had this file here in REV2)

This email is from Jill and what does Jill have ? T-Virus 

Wesker is a different case since he was a project and she had the vaccine but this would make a lot of sense if they had this tests with Jill to get the T-Virus

If that is the case, they explained Jill’s absence in the main games, could even explain why Chris left BSAA and opened a new window to a lot of possibilities 

My Predictions: 

- Chris had trouble dealing with BSAA and Jill’s case, he wanted to get her out of there, maybe he removed her from there but that resulted in him being expelled from the force

-Jill may or may not know what they are doing with her blood, but she will have a huge part in the BOW used by BSAA 

-Chris is married to Jill (sorry- I had to place this here, in a perfect world he has two kids with her and they all love aunt Rose) 

-Chris will hopefully be a father figure to Rose and they will be in a game together since in the end they came to get her

-Rebecca is still involved in BSAA activities (leak from new REV3) if you consider Vendetta canon, she maybe the one that used Jill’s sample of blood to create the virus soldiers

-Barry maybe retired 

-I don’t think Leon will be in this game, but he will get his RE4 Rmk 

- I do believe RE9 will be release after Code veronica rmk and MAYBE they will do a game about Umbrella’s Fall (Chris and Jill in Europe against Red Queen and BOWs) 

But that is it, you can see a lot of elements from old RE games in RE8, they tried to do something really smart and the game felt amazing to play, that was something else and it’s been a while since a player a RE game that made me feel that way <3

[unpopularly-opinionated]

I don’t play WoW but I used to play Overwatch and Diablo and this touches on just the general issues that are inside of Activision Blizzard right now regarding the major decline of World of Warcraft and how they’re losing to Final Fantasy XIV, how if the latest WoW expansion or Overwatch 2 flop as they’re projected to do then Blizzard’s most definitely going to pivot almost entirely to mobile games, and how the differences in age demographics are actually dividing the company into multiple camps.

It’s important to note two things: 1) this could be fake but also 2) the link came from Grummz, a former team lead on WoW and producer on Diablo II and Starcraft. It still could be fake despite this, but if he’s sharing it then I feel like there’s at least some measure of truth in this.

Transcription below in case this gets deleted and/or you don’t wanna click the link. Warning, it’s fairly long.

“I’m dropping this here after getting chewed out for three hours over shit the chewee did at work so fuck it. Assume larp and let me vent.”

>Shadowlands is a shitshow. Critical response, Player drop off and just about every engagement metric outside of cash shop have been catastrophic. No higher up expected this because of their “we are too big to fail, if we built it they will come” mentality. They refuse to accept their focus on the world being a begrudged mechanic to funnel players to raiding is not appealing to the player base at large because it appeals to them. They have spent the last 4 months trying to course correct but there is no solid direction and the response to 9.1 has only made things worse.

>Sylvanas is planned to replace the Arbiter despite so many people in the company and god knows how many online saying this would be a total replication of Kerrigans storyline in Starcraft 2 that killed none competitive interest in the brand entirely and you can only go “no, no they WILL like it eventually” for so many real world years before its time to change course. Thus far that has not happened.

>The elephant in the room is FFXIV. To the people in charge they are acting like this came out of nowhere and don’t even seem to understand why its drawing players away in their tens of thousands. We have all tried to highlight things it is doing that are clearly appealing to an mmo audience and not, in my opinion, focussing more on mobile game style retention traps to keep MAU users and habit forming personalities logging in. Its not that they don’t care. They just seem so pig headed and digging their heels in with their fingers in their ears thinking all the problems will go away because WoW is “too big to fail”, there will never be real competition and “they will keep coming back”. But they aren’t coming back anymore. Not in the numbers they used to.

>The people making the spending choices know this. The new model for WoW is market the hell out of a expansion pack for a huge quarter then use 6 month lock ins to pad numbers for the quarters after that. Even if corona had not happened 9.1 still would have been dropping after the initial 6 month subs expired to “keep the chain holding”.

>The mood in the company is tense but also very much “its just a rough transition period”. Activision has been pushing hard for Blizzard to release more regular product and to generate more income per user. As far as i know this is going to be a transition over the next 5 years to a much larger mobile/tablet gaming focus. By all accounts not just WoW but Overwatch was intended to be the moneymaker in the interim but once again someone had the bright idea to kill a game casual players loved on the alter of e-sports hoping for another Brood War. From what i hear the “told you so’s” were loud and a lot of people walked beyond Kaplan.

>The sentiment that was shared quietly in private but being spoken more often is simply that the leadership at Blizzard are not bad people, nor incompetent people but people who had to fill seats left when the old guard jumped ship wether they were suited for it or not. Brack is a genuinely good man out of his depth, Ion is a fantastic raid designer put in charge of designing a virtual world he has no interest or real ideas for and so on. They have been taking form the roles they excel at to be put in positions where they get to do far less of that purely because there is nobody left with the experience to do so and the trickle down is a lack of concrete direction, ambition and focus.

>2021 has seen the playerbase, media and gaming at large “turn” on WoW to a degree i don’t think the leads in their “positivity dojo” bubble considered possible. Its gone from people going “This is how Blizz needs to fix WoW!” to “WoW is no longer salvageable, time for greener pastures” and i think on some level this was never considered as a possibility so there have never been any major plans beyond the usual “try and minimise player drop off by arranging releases around competitors launching updates/products”. The official forums being filled with talk of FFXIV and worse “why do we actually pay a sub?” hasn’t helped.

>There have been some testing the waters lately from certain higher ups if we can remove the line “No King Rules Forever”. Read into that what you will.

>There are still arguments going on about the Kael’thas Voice actor shitshow. I don’t know much about it but i know its heated, wouldn’t be the first time a knee jerk reaction only seemed to generate bad press. We lost a noticeable amount of pvp engagement after the Swifty thing.

>The Preach interview was treated as a disaster and there was talk of more strongly vetting interviewers for “bad actors” and only engaging with a list of questions Blizzard provides. Some pointed out that could just be used to create some form of Fireside Chat akin to the FFXIV “Live letters” but that fell on deaf ears.

>The two sentiments right now among the team are either “we really need a win” or “theres a dedicated cabal of internet trolls out to kill WoW”. Right now we are crunching hard to get 9.2 ready to wrap up the jailors storyline so we can get an expansion out early 2022. If that doesn’t happen there are talks of major shakeups coming down from Activision that have been threatened for a few  years now. Its an all hands on deck feeling thats been around to some degree since the “Is this an out of season April Fools Joke” Blizzcon. A make or break deadline is coming closer and things like Diablo 4 were not planned before then. Blizzard needs a significant win not just in initial profit but consumer goodwill. Nobody likes working at what the public now seems to see as “the bad guy” of the mmo industry.

>This has also made new hires decline. Not significantly but the “you WANT Blizzard on your resume” line doesn’t seem to have the appeal it used to. This has lead to more hiring via friend of a friend, to some rumblings about nepotism, and people severely lacking in experience “because they get great twitter optics”.

>On the topic of Twitter we are not being told to “disengage” from it. Multiple employees like Nervig and Holisky publicly attacking paying customers because they got too heated and couldn’t keep quiet is bad press that could have been avoided. A email reminder has gone around more than once lately stating “if you are not customer relations you should not be representing the company to customers, especially if you cannot remain professional”.

>Lastly the biggest elephant in the room is “yo’ boy” Asmongold. The newer hires cannot stand him. They have used terms like “toxic masculinity” and “dogwhistles to dangerous males” while some of the oldest crowd still remaining have called him “based” or “telling it like it is” which has lead to friction to put it mildly. People are told not to talk about him and the recent FFXIV stuff only made it all worse. The idea that an outside element can have such an effect on the product genuinely upsets people. Like Zach is engaging in some malicious act of cyberwarfare. Many of us have point out the now famous quotes by Naoki Yoshida about understanding that players will drift and we need to make something worth coming back to because they want to but some people for lack of a better word see out customers -or “consumers” as they refer to them nowadays- as some kind of antagonistic relationship where the goal is not being an entertainer putting on a show for a crowd but some kind of game hunter trying to trap a large, profitable kill. I wish i could blame Activision but this is a sentiment from more of the younger crowd than the “tech boomers”. Which personal opinion is probably why so many folks like Metzen and Morheim left.

>Before you ask, yes the topic of “wokeness” has shown up in group talks. Its not all some grand sjw conspiracy, people really do want to feel welcome and represented. However the “we need everything veto’ed by people not working on it to see if its inoffensive and bland enough” rubs some of us the wrong way. Like anything in life you can take something too far and lose sight of the core ideals and with everything gone on since Blitzchung it feels like people are forming little factions to pull people in different directions to decide “What Blizzards identity is now” and how to appeal to new players. There has been some drop offs with “go woke go broke” as the only answer in the survey when unsubbing but honestly we are losing subs in unforseen numbers anyway and still making more money than ever through cash shop “heavy users” so it honestly doesn’t make an impact.

>All in all things are rough right now. Blizzard doesn’t have the love of the customers anymore, is no longer treated as an industry giant and while D4,D2R and Immortal aren’t going to kill Diablo even if they fail the sentiment for World of Warcraft and Overwatch 2 are a lot more tense and stressful. The phrase “it might be good to brush up on your mobile development portfolio if we get another underperformer” has been doing the rounds a lot. If Shadowlands continues its stark decline and Overwatch 2 is looking to underperform like its current projections suggest i think the Blizzard of a few years from now will be imitating King a lot more than trying to learn any lessons from Square Enix’s mmo division.

[x0401x]

Jeweler Richard Fanbook Short Story #12

Feel free to message me about possible corrections, and please consider supporting the creators by purchasing digital copies of the official releases: Novel || Manga || Fanbook. In case anyone is feeling generous: Ko-fi | PayPal. ( ╹◡╹)っ’･*

← Previous || Index || Next →

Suit Story

If you went through Ginza’s Main Street from 7-chome to 1-chome, the change in the city’s atmosphere would shock you. Bulgari, Cartier, Louis Vuitton, Chanel. Felt like you could play shiritori with these high-class brand names. It was a fun neighborhood to stroll around during Christmas season, as all the stores would come up with elaborate plans for the decorative lights, but it was currently autumn. The store most closely related to me in these vicinities was the long-established stationery store where I went to buy stationery. It was, however...

“Please raise your arms a little more.”

“All right.”

“Pull your chin back a bit. Yeah, that’s great.”

“Haah. Is this really right?”

“Of course. Might be hard, but please do relax.”

For whatever reason, I was across the street from the stationery store, practically in front of it, on the second floor of a branded men’s fashion store originally from England. On the walls of this mysterious-gentleman-themed space, which housed a bar counter and even a huge aquarium, there were clusters of business suits, pants and waistcoats with basting threads attached to them in conspicuous spots.

It was a place for taking measurements for custom-made stuff.

I couldn’t get over the feeling that this was some kind of mistake. Wasn’t this the stationery store? The place where you could buy vanilla-colored envelopes for 30 yen each? Or illustrated writing paper with seasonal vibes, or pens.

“Seigi, you are too nervous.”

“Nakata-san is such an imp, but so are you.”

Leaning against the bar counter, Richard shrugged his shoulders, indicating possibility.

Today was Thursday. Having been called by Richard, who said he wanted to ask me to do some odd job, I went over to the front of Etranger, and then we came to this store in the green jaguar. Just when I thought he was gonna make me hang with him for shopping, the man on the driver seat hastily took out his phone, showing me a video letter from my dad, Nakata-san.

“Seigi, congrats on your graduation. I wanted to go suit shopping with you, but I’m in Jakarta, so I’ll be borrowing Richard-san’s assistance for that. Seems like people are getting them custom-made lately. Make sure to buy a good one. Well, see ya.”

Richard had watched over me in the passenger seat as my eyes got wet, but the tears drew back in when we stepped into the store.

While talking lightheartedly about the difference between English and Italian suits, the young clerk, who wasn’t all too apart from me in age, smoothly took my body measurements with a measuring tape and showed me countless textures.

“You can also choose the lining. What should we do about the pockets?”

When I started getting dizzy, said man, who was like a page of suits, began giving me suggestions from behind. I had nowhere to run. I was really going to have my suit made here. As I picked a charcoal-gray suit with blue lining, Richard quickly told me that tanzanite cuffs would look very nice in it. Of course, I was thinking the exact same thing.

By the moment that the Onii-san finished the measuring and disappeared into the back of the store to take notes, I heaved a deep sigh. “This kinda stuff’s been happening a lot lately. All I ever do is receive.”

When I said that, Richard laughed, giggles ringing up his throat.

Richard had two types of smiles, and whenever he raised his voice while laughing, if I refused to back down, he’d often give me a word of advice of some sort. When it was a silent smile, I’d feel like he was telling me in some way to “reflect about myself”, which would make me a bit anxious, but I liked both.

Walking up next to me as I stood in front of the mirror, Richard grinned. “It is no longer guaranteed that your body will grow out of your clothes. Isn’t it fun to sometimes purchase slightly larger clothes and try to wait for your body’s growth?”

“Feeling like this talk doesn’t have the ‘sleep well and drink milk’ kinda nuance to it.”

The reply was a smile. How strange. Richard’s face was right at my left side, but the smile in the mirror was looking directly at me. Clad in a double-button slender silhouette suit, his figure was perfect no matter from what angle I looked at it, like an extraordinarily fine jewel, so my own figure as I tensed up beside him appeared even weirder.

“Hey, Richard, I kinda have the feeling that suits are like the base metals of jewelry.”

“Are you referring to the foundation parts of rings, earrings and such?”

I nodded. The base metal was the metal part that formed the foundation for attaching gemstones to jewelry. In stores, people would often memorize the materials and call them by their names, such as gold base metal or platinum base metal.

It was a part that never played the leading role in Etranger, which handled accessories with gemstones on them. But it’d be hard to wear jewelry on the body without it, and it was also a part that allowed people to express their particularities regarding the materials, durability and design. Whether they would be prominent or not depended on the basis. Erm, this was probably what a jeweler from Kyoto that I was acquainted with would say. The contrary was also possible.

“Gotta psyche myself up. If I don’t become someone that won’t lose to this suit, I’d feel bad.”

“This is my personal opinion, but there is nothing more tiring to look at than a jewelry in which the gem and base metal are at rivalry with one another. What you should emphasize is the harmony. Just because you use the finest high-grade eggs and milk as ingredients, it does not mean you will create the best pudding – is that not the same thing?”

“Ah...”

When I replied that, indeed, high-end ingredients were often strongly in demand, the beautiful man nodded with an “exactly as you say”. By the looks of it, those were the sweets that he was into lately. I hadn’t been able to take time some for it at all due to being busy, but I decided to make pudding again one of these days and offer to him. Despite having a wallet that enabled him to eat as many high-grade desserts as he wanted, Richard would always be delighted anew no matter how many of them I made, which made me believe that, as one would expect, he had a talent for pleasing people. I was grateful for his existence.

“Both suits and jewelry are goods that exist for the sake of their owners. The initiative is clear from the start. You must handling it skillful and comfortably, not fight against it. That is why it is custom-made.”

“So you’re also ‘skillfully handling’ the clothes you’re wearing right now?”

“Evidently. Enough that I do not know anymore at what point it ends and I begin.” With that said, Richard sleekly patted his suit. I wanted to try saying that too someday.

We exchanged glances not through the mirror but directly.

When the clerk Onii-san came back, the measuring recommenced. I got kind of embarrassed as he praised me, saying I was well-relaxed.

   “Seigi-kun, good work! Wow, that suit looks really great on you.”

“Thanks, Tanimoto-san. Uh, this print on your furisode, could it be—”

“I was told it’s a modern type of print, but yep, it’s kinda like...”

“It looks like a bismuth crystal!”

With a face that said, “I know, right”, a dandy crease formed under her eyes, which were just a bit more on-the-mark than usual. Her bob-cut hair was the same as always, her cream-colored hakama paired with a yellow-green and dark blue furisode, which bore a mysterious geometric pattern print. On top of being cute, it was unique. She said it was rented, but I got emotional upon finding out there was a furisode that was so much like her.

As for me, I was wearing a double-button English suit that fit my body extremely well. It was a little embarrassing, but the creatures called college boys were more or less the same kind of individuals as myself, so they weren’t too mindful of their male friends’ clothes. Only one of them, who had found employment in the apparel industry, said that “the suit Nakata’s wearing is so nice”.

It was the graduation ceremony of Kasaba University. We gathered in the excessively large auditorium for all but an instant, and once we had our diplomas in hand, it was the beginning of a rapid shooting party, where we took pictures with our preferred friends in spaces near the auditorium. Tanimoto-san came running over to the spot near the central library, where we had decided to meet up.

“Seigi-kun, really, congrats. Things might get hard from now on, but if it’s you, everything will definitely be okay.”

“Thank you. I’ll do my best. I don’t think I’m that big of a deal, though...”

“That’s not true. I know very well how awesome you are.”

I played around a little and bowed my head, also congratulating Tanimoto-san for her graduation, she laughed with a “huhuhu”, looking happy.

She had passed in teaching and she would officially be a middle school science teacher starting this April. She fulfilled the dream that she had told me about when we were in our second year of undergrad. So cool. She had laughed when I said I wanted to take her classes if it were ever possible, but now I knew her video communication address, so it might be that I could actually get to attend her lectures at least once. Even if I were no longer living in Japan.

“Tanimoto-san, the school you’re assigned to is...”

“In Okayama Prefecture. It’s famous for the Katsuta Group of vicarya fossils. Compared to you, it’s next-door.”

In a few days, my address would change from Japan to Sri Lanka. I was going to be a jeweler apprentice. I had been told that I would often have to move around in rough dress, so sure enough, I was going to dedicate myself to wearing formal stuff for the time being. It was a bit of a waste, but Nakata-san and Richard had probably given me a chance to wear this kind of thing because they knew about that.

I could hear a voice in the distance calling, “Shouko~”. It was apparently a friend of Tanimoto-san’s. She waved at them in response.

“Seigi-kun, y’know... I think I was very lucky to meet you in this university. Literally thank you. Thanks to you, university was always fun.”

“Those are all my lines. But Tanimoto-san, I only ever gave you trouble.”

“If you’re gonna say that, same goes for me. I feel like you’ve granted me many opportunities. Seriously, thank you.”

When she smiled, saying she was going to do her best, she looked really cute. Neither of us had any familiarity with Okayama, but surely, she would actively pave the way with her own strength no matter where she was. And on her days off, she would go out to the Katsuta Group to dig up fossils.

“From now on too, if there’s anything I can help you with, I want you to tell me. I’ll do anything. If you run into any weirdo, I’ll get on a plane and come give them a beating.”

“Me too; if anyone ever messes up with you, Seigi-kun, I’ll take my crack hammer and go finish them off. Look forward to it. Ah, Aki told me that a sniper rifle suits me better, apparently?”

“I-I wonder.”

After that, we talked for a while, seated on an inconspicuous bench, and when it was finally time, she told me to at least take care of my body, offering me her hand. I nodded and squeezed it back. Her hand was small but very strong.

“Take care of your body, at the very least. May the blessings of the stones fall upon you.”

“Thank you. You too.”

We bowed deeply, taking pictures with each other while we were at it, and once we were done with the commemorative photoshoot, in which the two of us kept a moderate distance from one another, we parted ways. Students here and there were hugging intensely and wailing, but neither she nor I were that type, and I didn’t think this would be farewell for a lifetime. We would definitely get to see each other from now on too.

However, this was our last time seeing each other while we were students. After the handshake, my angel waved her hand with a “see you”, even more brightly than an actual angel.

Later on, having finished looking around for the friends that I could call friends and going on a tour to tell them “thank you for everything until now”, lastly, I sent a brief text. Not to Richard. To Nakata-san and Hiromi.

“I was able to graduate from university without problems. Thank you very much, truly. I will be in your care from now on too.”

Rather than a greeting, it turned into a notice to announce my renewed determination. The stylish suit indeed gave off an extraordinary feeling of fittingness, but I couldn’t think I was fully used to it. Obviously. It finished being made just a while ago. It would start from here. If it would take on my shape the more I wore it, then I would make sure to wear it steadily to my own liking.

What mattered was the harmony, he had said.

While smoothly stroking the suit, which I still couldn’t deem as anything other than formal wear, as if I were stroking my favorite gemstone, I seared the contrast of cherry blossom petals against the blue sky into my eyes.

[voorbeees]

[ me, writing a decent fic? impossible! Anyway here’s a fic about Jesse adopting a kid that I got kind of carried away with but i don’t care. 

you can also read it here . Also don’t forget I take commissions. ]

The sharp hunting knife plunges into the woman's temple. It's a faster kill than he enjoys. Usually he'll bide his time, watching, waiting until he's spotted a piggy that suits him. Typically it's a cat and mouse game, dragged out for as long as possible. Psychological torture is the game. That accompanied by true torture, eventually.

Jesse has found himself becoming far more annoyed by Preston than usual, which is saying something, considering that the man makes him consider driving a knife into his own eye in order to end the conversation faster. After the latest whining spree, he's decided he's just going to kill him. Preston offers no value to himself or his organization anymore. Only he wants an audience when he does it. Set an example. No other employees voice opinions like him, but Jesse wants to make sure they remember who's in charge.

Chromeskull twists the knife in a fit of anger. God even thinking about him pisses him off. Another turn for good measure then he yanks the blade from the woman's head. It's a clean kill and for that he's sorry. She'd have been perfect for slicing and butchering. Whatever. It's done. The night is still young and there's still plenty of piggies to find.

He swaggers back to his Chrysler 300 to retrieve a body bag. Once he's back, Jesse stuffs the body in the bag and slings it over his should as if he's done this a thousand times. (Probably because he has done this a thousand times.) He's not too worried about the crime scene, it's an abandoned warehouse for Christ's sake. The only people who'll be snooping around in here are your typical crack head junkies. No one in their right mind is going to believe that they found blood. Even better, they'd probably be convicted of the crime. Now that's fucking hilarious. Jesse laughs silently at the thought. The only indication that he's even doing it being the up and down movement of his shoulders.

By this point he's made sure his knives are tucked safely away back in his chrome briefcase, which he holds in his free hand. Jesse kicks the door open with enough strength to knock it off its hinges. He stands there on the stoop in the back alley for a moment before marching down the dimly lit alleyway to his car.

A scuffing noise coming from behind catches his attention. Jesse turns around with enough force to make the body over his shoulder whizz through the air and thunk hard against his back. Nothing catches his eye so he brushes it off. Most likely a stray cat.

The trunk to the car opens with a click and he throws the body inside. Better care is taken when he places his briefcase in beside it. The video has long since finished recording and he takes the time now to remove the tape, titling it Jacksonville. It's honestly not even worth keeping or naming but who gives a fuck. He caught the bitch and killed her, it's his fair and square.

Pocketing the tape, he slams the trunk shut. He's opted to keep his chrome mask on. No sense in taking it off just to reapply the adhesive an hour later. He whirls around, ready to jump into the car and drive off when instead he practically jumps out of his fucking skin.

There no more than a few feet away stands a small child, no older than six. Big doe-like eyes stare up at him and it takes Jesse a minute to regain his composure. What the fuck? He looks around but sees no one. Clearly she belongs to someone, which sounds stupid as fuck because she isn't a fucking dog. And yes. Now he can make out clearly that it is a little girl. He doesn't have many rules he abides by when the chrome mask is placed on his face, but killing kids is one of his top ones. They're still too young to understand the world or just how terrible their mothers are for leaving them alone long enough to get a fuck in.

The little girl takes a tiny step forward and Jesse wastes no time in yanking his phone from his pocket. He types furiously on it, black nitrile making hardly a sound.

'GO AWAY' . The electronic voice echoes off the brick walls of the alley. He can tell by the way she flinches back a step that his point is made. Good. Jesse brushes past her, ready to leave the situation behind. At least until he feels a tug on his black slacks.

The little girl clings to his designer pants, eyes wide but not from fear, more so curiosity. Jesse wastes no time in furiously typing on his phone again. 'GO HOME. I'M A BUSY MAN AND I DON'T NEED TO BE HELD UP. ' His only response is a slow blink.

'NO. ' He dislodges her tiny hands and pushes her on the back in the opposite direction. ' GO HOME. ' Jesse thinks he's finally gotten her to understand but it's the exact opposite. For some fucking reason that makes her want to be even closer to him.

"Why do you wear that?" She asks as she points to his mask.. She has to hold her head all the way back to even see his "face". It's actually rather comical and if anyone were to walk by at this moment they'd probably double over with laughter. The girl barely makes it up to his thigh, as to where the 6'7 man looks like a god damned giant looking at a pomeranian. "Are you hiding from someone?"

Yes that was obviously it! He, a known killer, was hiding from someone. What a stupid -- Jesse stops himself mid thought as his brown eye takes in her appearance. It's raggedy to say the least. Then again, anyone who compared his attire to another’s would consider it to be raggedy. ' HOME. LEAVE ME ALONE. FIND YOUR MOTHER. '

The girl's face seems to crumple at this and for a moment Jesse is dumbfounded. "I -I don't know where she is." The tiny voice squeaks out. Her lower lip begins to quiver and ohmyfuckinggod he's done it now. People could care less if they heard a woman on the streets yelling, but a kid? Someone would come bounding around the corner to the rescue. Which only meant he'd then have to kill them and whoever else came with them. "She leaves sometimes and doesn't come back for a while." His mangled lip twists into a snarl under the chrome mask. "She usually says it's because she has to work." Ah, so that explained it.

Jesse's eye darts to the trunk of his Chrysler 300. Of course the whore brought her kid to work. If he could talk, Jesse would have a mouthful of slurs to toss at the dead woman. He knows all too well what it's like to not have a mother, and knows even better the concept of a drunk for a father. Though something tells him there's no father in this situation.

"Can I come with you? At least until she comes back?" It's such an innocent question and it takes everything in him to hold back the sensation of snuffing out a life. Chromeskull is creeping further into the picture, just begging to sink his claws into her and kill her but Jesse smoothers that thought.

He's always had a fond spot for kids. It was actually something he was excited about when he'd found out his wife was pregnant but just like everything else that had been ruined too. He never talks about his wife. The only time he did was when Spann had the displeasure of explaining the situation to him. After that he'd made it clear to never mention her or the unborn baby again by destroying everything in his office. The room looked like it had been hit by a tornado when he was done, broken pictures, splintered chairs, holes in the wall. The scenario made his fiasco with destroying the mirror after seeing his own disfigurement seem mild. All of that accompanied with the unsaid "this is your fault" regarding her suicide has been eating away at him slowly over the years.

' NO. ' He shakes his leg free. Tricky little pest.

"But please?" She's latches on to him again and Jesus fucking Christ what the fuck about his current attire screams "I'm here to help you!". Because it sure as fuck isn't the mask or knives hidden away in his car.

By this time he's just decided to remove his gloves, throwing the used nitrile into the passenger seat of the open driver side door. The low light illuminates the tattoos that cover his hands. The letters on his knuckles moving slightly when he clenches his fists together. He's about to start typing again when the tiny voice breaks the silence. "Oh you painted your hands!" It's the stupidest fucking thing he's ever heard. They're tattoos, tattoos that decorate both arms from the knuckles up when he's not dressed for the job. But it's also the funniest thing he's ever heard and Jesse can't help the smile that stretches across his mangled face behind the mask. Children are so God damned innocent. A tiny hand removes itself from his slacks to grasp at his hand but Jesse moves it out of her way before she can grab it. A sad expression settles on her face but it quickly disappears as he hikes his slacks up by the knees, making it easier for him to bend down. He's eye level with her now and he sees almost instantly how her demeanor changes. Once more it's not fear (odd considering there's a giant man in a chrome skeleton mask right in front of her face), but rather elation.

She wastes no time in snatching one of his hands examining it. In the process his sleeve rides up to reveal more ink on his arm. "You colored your arm too?" She looks up to see him nod once slowly. This only sits off another tirade of questions. Jesse can't really answer them. Sure he could type them and let the phone do the talking but that’s too much fucking work. He's not sure if she understands sign language so no point in trying that. He settles for just nodding or shaking his head, short answers she's bound to understand.

"You don't talk much, huh?" It's not that he doesn't talk, it's that he can't talk. Most days Jesse would give anything to be able to express himself through voice, even if it meant giving his remaining eye. But he's always lived like this and there's no point in complaining about what can't be fixed. Plus it adds an intimidation aspect to him, something he rather enjoys.

"Can I come with you?" She asks again and this time Jesse studies her for a moment. He weighs the options in his head. She is alone and it would be awfully rude to simply leave her here by herself in the back of an alley. Seeing as Jesse is the perfect gentleman, he can't simply do that. It's hard to tell what will happen to her if he just leaves her here. Other people might say she's his responsibility because he obviously just fucking killed her mom, but from his point of view she didn't seem like a mother anyway. No loss in that department. He finally nods and there's just something about the way her tiny face lights up with delight that just wants to make him laugh. For having just met him, she seems very content to cling to him. Then an idea pops into his head. Wanting children and then having the possibility taken away, only to be rewarded with one. He can already hear Preston's annoying voice now, and honestly that's all the fucking push he needs.

Jesse stands to his full height with ease. The little girl follows him as he makes his way back to the car. She blinks at the automobile. "I've never seen a car like this before. Are you rich?" Very rich, he wants to say but settles for nodding. And if he has anything to say in the matter, she’ll be just as rich in a short time also.

---------

Jesse parks the car outside the warehouse his operation is currently running in, not bothering to make an effort to hide it. Besides he's not too worried about the police. He pulls open the back door and the little girl eagerly jumps into his arms, still talking a hundred miles an hour (something she's been doing for the last twenty minutes, but frankly he doesn't care). He walks them through the building's side door, being met instantly by Spann and then Preston, who's wearing that annoyingly fake 'happy to see you!' expression.

"Sir, we didn't expect you back until morning." Spann's soothing voice meets his ears. He responds with a shrug as he sees her eyes land on the child.

And then that voice grates on his ears. "Boss, you're fucking kidding, right?" It's followed by a nervous and unbelieving laugh. "I didn’t take you for the adopting strays sort of guy. Let alone, I think she's a little young for you." Preston laughs again but he's met with Spann's hard stare and Jesse's blood-curdling one. The implication that he has something planned is enough to make his mangled lip curl into a snarl under the mask.

It's then he places the girl in the other man's arms and begins typing on his phone. ' GET HER SETTLED IN AT HOME. ROOM. CLOTHES. SCHOOL. ' It's a clear statement and he doesn't plan on repeating himself.

"Might I commend you on how great of an idea having an apprentice is, Sir." Jesse makes a so-so movement with his hand then signs the word "daughter". Spann smiles widely. "Even better. I've always seen you as a family man." The both of them begin to make their way back to his office.

"Boss!" Preston looks between the kid in his arms and back to Jesse. "You're not serious."

The electronic voice meets his ears once again. ' DO IT NOW. '

"Boss!" The sound reaches his ears once more before he closes the door and sinks into his chair. A smile stretches across his face under the mask as Spann begins explaining plans to move the operation. Maybe Preston does have a use. Being the always available babysitter.

[deltaengineering]

that was the winter anime 2021 that was

Still not quite ready for a dozen posts about how terrible the likes of Combatants Will Be Dispatched are, sorry. Watch Vivy though, it owns. Here’s some more things that are (mostly) good. As always, worst to best.

Yatogame-chan Kansatsu Nikki S3

Yatogame has long run out of hot Nagoya facts and its ensemble comedy never amounted to much, so now it seems mostly content to just spam more and more wacky character designs. About the only thing that it has left going for it is that 3 minutes a week are more effort to drop than to watch, so I expect them to make a movie next. 4/10

Go-toubun no Hanayome S2

Quints is a weird one. S1 was a barely good enough (i.e., well above average) implementation of the ages old harem chestnut. S2 is actually better at the core of its appeal, since it gives all the characters a sharper profile (things like taking Nino from joke to badass and making Ichika a villain are no mean feat), but it does pay a steep price for it. You see, to deliver a steady drip feed of meaningful character moments it apparently has to rush through the source material at a breakneck pace, which completely wrecks the "story" part of this story and makes every episode seem like a recap. And it still keeps wasting precious time on vestigial nonsense like its framing device and the Kyoto flashback scenario that was already the worst part of S1. But by far the most annoying aspect is its insistence on keeping all the options valid, since it prevents any real progress and makes everything seem arbitrary and pointless. So sure enough, after a season of much ado we still don't end up anywhere — you can't really raise the stakes if all at stake was "who wins" to begin with. It's watchable and even enjoyable scene-for-scene but it's getting harder and harder to call it a solid show overall. 5/10

Skate Leading Stars

I was watching this primarily because I didn't like Yuri on Ice much and wanted to see if something that is a blatant attempt to cash in on it would be better — because while YoI delivers on one aspect (being hella gay), it really is an absolute shambles of a sports show. And sure enough, Skate Leading has none of the auteur appeal of YoI, but it just works much better. In particular I appreciate how it managed to make me care even a little about a cast of assholes, which is a nice contrast to the nauseatingly ingratiating way YoI tries to make you love its characters. Also, Skate Leading is just generally cheap and unambitious, so not susceptible to trying hard and painfully flaming out on the presentation side like YoI is. But at some point you gotta let go of these comparisons and on its own Skate Leading is... just fine, I guess? Competent, mildly engaging, not very memorable. And that's probably where it loses to Yuri on Ice in the end after all, even if I think it's "better". 6/10

Idoly Pride

Idoly Pride sold itself on me with a really good (and hilarious/tragic) first episode that was just too bizarre to ignore — I mean, how can you ignore GHOST IDOL MANAGERS. Well, the majority of the show isn't like that. It's a competent and solid version of the idol franchise show, yes, but it really had more potential than that. Especially midseason, it gets lost in these dozens of characters, and while they're all likeable, it does seem like a waste of a good story just centered on Mana/Kotona/Sakura. By the end it comes back around to the heart of the matter with a Maeda-style sob story, which could be a disaster but seasoned veteran Jukki Hanada makes it work anyway. Overall, there's quite a bit of ridiculous hacky melodrama in this, but quite honestly that's the best part and I wish it would concentrate more on it. The rest is just okay. 6/10

Yuru Camp S2

Yuru Camp is still likely the best pure iyashikei show when it gets down to business. Compared to S1 though, this seems to happen less and less. At its peaks (i.e., basically any quiet moment with Rin) it's at least as good as ever, and there's some good cast additions like Mini-Inuko, but it appears that Yuru Camp simply has run out of things you can do with camping and it fills up the time with other... stuff. This stuff includes the generic school club shenanigans it was never particularly good at, and a gigantic helping of crass consumerism. Yeah, I would say the majority of Yuru Camp is just a straight up infomercial at this point, which itself ranges from the perfectly acceptable (which cute anime isn't about food constantly), to the sketchy (I don't know whether the Izu tourism board cut this production a fat check, but if they didn't, Yuru Camp still gives its best effort to make it seem that way) to the highly irritating – I am aware that camping requires gear and you can't just ignore that, but you most definitely do not require whole arcs dedicated to talking about raising funds for the purposes of acquiring the Lamp of Comfy Happiness at your friendly local Caribou™ either. Not to mention an arc where the aforementioned lame school club does the same, for double irritation. Make no mistake, this show is so riddled with scenes that beg for a solution to embed affiliate links in video files that it makes me wish I was watching something as anticapitalist and underground as Love Live. And irritating really is the last thing a show with this core concept, as stellar as it is at that, can afford to be. Bummer. 6/10

SKOO the Infinity

Skoo has one really huge asset: ADAM, its magnificent villain. It also has one really huge liability: Reki, its not magnificent protagonist. To be more specific, it's very good at anything outrageous, physics-defying and silly, such as most scenes ADAM is in, and quite bad at anything serious, dramatic (in a serious way) and down to earth, such as most scenes Reki is in. So, what's the verdict? Well, the rest of the cast is more ADAM-like, and Reki's co-protagonist Langa is fine as the straight (yeah, right) man. The tedious buddy drama is a comparatively small part of this show, and at least it pays off quite well in the end. Seriously, I was ready to give this a 6, but the final episode is probably the best one of the show, in all of its aspects. That's really not something you see often. Skoo's a great time. Except when it's not. 7/10

Non Non Biyori Nonstop

Speaking of the rare good ending, what about we gave one of those to a slim and inconsequential slice-of-life show? NNB has always been solid, comfy and amusing quality with a couple of standout moments (usually something with Renge), and Nonstop has that plus an ending as conclusive as any show of this type is ever going to have. Besides, it does a lot of things right by focusing on more characters than the central 4 (especially Konomi has great material in S3), it expands the universe just enough to not get stale, and it moves things forward — It's definitely a lot better than the movie, is what I'm saying. Apart from that, well, we're three seasons in, if you have any interest in this you probably don't need me to explain what's good about NNB at this point. Bonus points for being nothing but an ad for the manga. 7/10

Wonder Egg Priority

Oh boy, so here's the big one. Wonder Egg is the rare Meaningful Arthouse Show About Real Issues You Guys, as you might have heard. And well, the long and short of it is that it's a very good show with quite a few glaring problems (besides not actually being finished due to production issues, but what we have is enough of an ending to be able to meaningfully talk about it). In particular, one problem: WEP is, at its core, one of these metaphorical Magical Girl-ish series that are just a thin layer of abstraction over coming-of-age or societal problems. The issue is that "metaphorical" in this case means "literal" and "thin" means "basically nonexistent". This show is not subtle regarding what it's about, at all. This is a double-edged sword — on the positive side, some things really should just be said aloud, and I'm really, really fucking tired of the Ikuhara style of "here's some wacky things, maybe a blog post will eventually tell you how it's actually about the most important thing ever" obfuscation — if it's really so important, just spell it out. On the other hand, there are limits to this and when a second, different Ai appears I don't really need a voiceover line telling me that yep, this show is about parallel universes now. WEP spells out many important things, but it also spells out many things that are implicitly clear or better left vague. Not to mention that with being so obvious up front, the show's tendency to leave figuring out what it's actually saying about it up to the viewer can leave the wrong impression. Again, I settled on the opinion that it's subtle after all where it counts the most, but you might easily get the impression that it pulls its punches (Ikuhara does this the exact other way around — once you figure out what the fuck he's talking about it's abundantly clear what he's saying about it).

In fact, this show is so good at subtle, quiet character moments that it calls into question the need for big huge fighting fantasy layer in the first place, especially since I'm not a fan of the fantasy designs and the fights aren't great. Sure, they look impressive on a technical level (this show is very good looking in general), but the lack of actual impact or rhythm makes me think this is not made by people who are very familiar with action and maybe they should have asked some seasoned shounen veterans for this — or just, you know, not do it. They can (and do) impress with character acting in quiet scenes just the same. And while Ai's character story actually does pay off quite nicely by the end we got, and Momoe and Rika are also handled well, Neiru's backstory is significantly less good, not to mention the whole Frill subplot regarding the show's mythology that they introduced just before (and that's the part to be resolved at a later date), which is a huge can of worms. We'll see how well they handle that, I suppose, but as it is it's a weird and vestigial detour that doesn't add much besides thematic headaches.

But yeah, apart from all that — I like it, a lot. Great character writing in the details, cool looks for the most part, tons of ambition, and a message that I consider to be appropriately handled — for the most part, and for now. Not quite ambitious arthouse anime at its finest, but also not a pretentious disaster like Sarazanmai, Monogatari et al. 8/10

[gins-potter]

What are your winx and specialists tattoo headcanons? Who would have tattoos and which one would they have?

Heyo, as usual sorry this took me a little bit but I wanted to properly organise my thoughts and find reference pics as well. and tbh I could end up coming up with more stuff but this is what I have so far.  (under the cut because it ended up kinda long af and tagging @catlliecal​ because she also sent an ask asking for this).

Bloom:

Ok so my headcanons for Bloom’s tattoos have changed a bit over the years 

but at the moment I imagine her with a fairly large hip into thigh, full coverage piece of the Great Dragon

she chose it’s position because i imagine oritel is probably a conservative old man when it comes to tats (even tho i can so see miriam also having a dragon tattoo) so she puts it on her thigh so she can easily cover it by wearing a long dress for royal events

it would probably be in black and white but I can see the Dragon being intertwined with some flowers, probably Daphne flowers for her sister (which you can see in the two images on the right) and I can see those being coloured a pale pink kind of like in the middle reference pic

and because this is the magical dimension i imagine it’s been spelled so while it stays confined to the one area, it can move a little bit and change positions

so because bloom is both a basic bitch and completely extra i totally see her having more than one dragon tat

her second one would be a lot smaller and probably be a lot more simpler in design compared to her thigh dragon, so something more like the top two images in the second graphic

also in all black but maybe spelled to breathe red fire?

and it would also be enchanted so it can fly around her body, and unlike the bigger dragon it’s not constrained to any area - it’s favourite places to be are flying in circles around her wrist or sitting on her left collarbone over her heart

the other two pics in the second graphic are just older ideas i had for bloom’s tattoos, i was convinced for ages she would have it going down her back like the one on the left (i might eventually give this tattoo to either miriam or daphne) and i just love the design of the one on the right so i briefly considered her having like a shoulder/half sleeve dragon

Flora:

all of flora’s would be in colour i think and she would definitely have that sort of water colour effect on them that’s really popular now

her first two are similar in design to the pic on the left and she would have them on either side of her torso, sort of upper rib area, to the side/just underneath her boobs and they’re like a mirror image of each other

these ones probably wouldn’t be spelled to do anything special

the one on her back is similar in design to the pic on the right, but i can see it also being drawn more like a full tree

the writing down the centre would be her and helia’s family names (because i can definitely see them hyphenating when they get married) and then on each leaf is a name, first helia, then each of her children

i’m playing around with the idea of this one being spelled to change with the seasons, the writing would always stay the same, but the leaves change colour and eventually fall off during autumn and then grow back in the spring.

Layla:

for the moment i can actually see layla only having one tattoo

and that’s this yin yang/opposites fish design that you can see in the reference images (they’re all more or less the same i just found too many cute photos)

it’s actually based on a mosaic in the andros castle that layla loves, and she gets it because it brings her peace when she’s feeling upset or anxious about anything

they would be all in white, one fully white, and the other just a white outline

i think the fish would probably be on the inside of her forearm so she can see them and they would be spelled to swim in circles around each other

i can see her maybe getting nabu’s name somewhere after he dies but i’m not 100% sure where she would put it

Musa:

musa’s are actually the hardest to pin down for me just because i can see her having A Lot

like at least one full sleeve and maybe two

one sleeve would be mostly made up of the music notes for a song her dad wrote for her mother before she died and that would run down most of her arm and would be decorated with birds and flowers important to melodian culture (like the flower top right)

like bloom’s hers would be mostly in black with a few pale red and orange accents here and there

the music notes would be spelled so that when you touch them they play the song

her other arm is more just a collection of stuff she thinks is cool or pretty like the bottom two pics or the boxing art below

and i can eventually see her completely filling her arms so the tattoos spill onto her back

Stella:

stella in my opinion just has two

they’re very minimalistic designs, plain black, and on the inside of either elbow

she has a sun for solaria on one side and a moon for celestia (her mother’s home realm) on the other side

the moon tattoo causes quite the controversy when she gets it because some solarians think it isn’t right for their crown princess to show such strong ties for another realm but stella refuses to remove it

they aren’t spelled to move or change or anything but they do have the ability to glow a bright gold at night

Tecna:

like stella, tecna’s tattoos are rather minimalistic as well

but unlike stella, tecna’s are very meme-y

literally

tecna gets a QR symbol on the inside of her upper left arm that when scanned is actually a rick-roll

and she eventually develops a spell for it that allows the QR code to change so that it takes you to whatever meme tecna currently finds the most hilarious

her other tattoo, which is on her right forearm, is written in binary code and no one actually knows what it says

they can never get a straight answer out of tecna about what it is, and everytime someone asks her she tells them something different, so they assume it’s meme-y like her other one

but actually it’s a short sappy quote that reminds her of timmy but she’ll never admit it to anyone

(don’t ask me what that quote is i haven’t decided yet)

that one has a simple spell on it that makes it look like someone is typing out the code over and over again

kind of like musa i can see tecna having more tattoos than this, i just can’t decide what they would be, but i think they would all follow the same simple, minimalistic design

Specialists:

it was hard for me to find reference pics i liked for the guys so i’m just going to give a brief description of some of the tattoos i think they would have

i don’t know if i’ve written about this on tumblr before, but i have a long-held headcanon that heros have a big tattoo culture:

getting their first tattoo is part of their graduation ceremony from red fountain

they’re encouraged to get tattoos that remind them of their family/friends/loved ones - some yada yada about remembering who they’re fighting for when facing evil forces

and it’s very common to honour fallen team members by getting a tattoo of their name or something that reminds them of the person

Sky:

sky’s tattoos are mostly on his chest and back

his graduation tattoo is an eraklyon prayer of protection that runs down his spine

he doesn’t get any other tattoos after that until nabu dies which is when he gets his friend’s name on his ribs (right side) and that’s where he adds other names of fallen friends/team-mates

later after he and bloom get married he gets her name on his left pec (right over his heart the big sap) and then adds his kids names beneath it after they’re born

none of sky’s tattoos are spelled or enchanted

Brandon:

brandon’s grad tattoo is a list of his siblings names on his left forearm and Stella’s name on his right arm

eventually, like sky, he also gets his kids names added to stella’s

all his name tattoos are individually spelled to burn really hot when that person is in trouble

brandon struggles to decide for a while where to put nabu’s name but eventually decides on the centre of his back because he likes to think that wherever nabu went after he died, he’s still there in spirit watching his back

Riven:

riven shocks the fuck out of everyone when he graduates and gets the red fountain school motto (”live with courage and die with honour”) tattooed in giant fuck off lettering across his shoulders

they all figured he lowkey hated red fountain and maybe he did at first because come on he’s a rebel without a cause at what is basically a military school, of course he kinda hates it there

but he also acknowledges that red fountain more or less turned his life around as well as brought him into contact with the people who eventually he comes to regard as family (much more than his biological one)

like musa i can see riven getting a bunch of other tattoos just because they look cool and putting them all over his arms, chest, and back

but his right bicep would be reserved for tattoos of his fallen friends

unlike sky and brandon he doesn’t get names however, but instead gets symbols, the first being a likeness of nabu’s staff after he passes

Helia:

helia i think would have all of his on his back because he understands the importance of having them but also doesn’t need to see them every day

his grad piece is kind of unorthodox because he gets his favourite line of poetry to remind him that there’s still beauty in the world even when he’s facing evil

later i feel like he would get something like outstretched bird wings just below it

and under that he gets nabu’s name in really nice script

Timmy:

timmy is probably the least prone to tattoos of the group and he has to think for a long time on what to get for graduation

and people assure him that he doesn’t actually have to get one just because most everyone else is

but eventually he decides to get a small coloured blaster on the inside of his elbow

when he was in freshman year at red fountain he was lowkey ashamed when all his classmates took to using swords almost straight away while he preferred using his gun because he thought it meant he lacked the physical strength and courage to use a short range weapon

but he slowly came to realise that it wasn’t a weakness, but just that he had different strengths to his friends and classmates and that wasn’t a bad thing

so he decides that’s a good thing to remember

and when nabu dies again he debates whether or not to get a tattoo commemorating him but ultimately decides he will and gets ‘his name written near his blaster

[jamielea81]

Just a Simple Lie

Chapter 10

Description: Having worked on small independent films for the better part of a decade, your friend tells you about an opening for a script supervisor with a large studio. Wanting to advance your career, you apply and get an interview. The only downside, they prefer to hire crew who are married. It’s just a simple lie, right?

Pairing: Chris Evans x Reader

Warnings: Cursing, minor angst, FLUFF!!

A/N: This is NOT the final chapter. There is one more after this one that we’ll call a mini chapter or epilogue. Per the usual: this fic is simply for fun and I mean no disrespect to any of the actors mentioned in the fic. I am also totally guessing regarding the studio talk. Comments, reblogs, and likes are always welcome.

Word Count: 4,167

Catch up with Chapter 9

***

Avoidance really wasn’t the word that you would use to describe what you were doing with Chris. You just didn’t know your place in his life and every day was getting harder to define that line. He was hot and cold with you. So, you kept your head down, figuratively of course, and tried to maintain that friendship line that he had put in place a couple of months ago.

After that night you agreed to work on his film, he came back to the bar during your next shift and hung out with you until close. He crashed your lunch date with Scott a few days later, showing up with a smile on his face and Scott lagging behind with eyebrows raised. But after that, you didn’t hear from him until a month before filming was to begin. It was a brief call to let you know you would receive your contract via carrier and that your flight would be arranged shortly. Filming would last two months but he wanted you to stick around an additional month when editing began because per Chris, he wanted your input. This project was his baby. His exact words were “I need you here.” How could you say no?

You were staying with Chris which is what made the avoidance or non-avoidance, whatever you were doing, hard to actually accomplish. You were fine with staying at the hotel the non-local crew were staying in, but Chris refused. He got very alpha with you on that topic and you had to admit, it turned you on a bit. But you couldn’t go there because Chris didn’t see you that way anymore.

The hot and cold thing was hard to describe. He’d casually throw his arm around you when the two of you were going over scenes, whether other people were around or not. He’d pull you into conversations with the AD and cinematographer to get your opinion, often keeping hold of your hand. The next day he’d be in a mood and barely speak to you, let alone glance your way. The cast would often look to you to be the go between because they knew he was in a mood. You knew it was stress. It had to be, but it doesn’t mean it didn’t confuse you. On those days you’d grab a bite to eat at a restaurant to give him space, often returning to your room in his house at night without as much as a hello.

Friendships are hard. That’s the bottom line.

***

“Adam! Reset! Jesus!” Chris yelled causing you to visibly wince. “Y/N!”

“I’m on it. I’m on it,” you mumbled mostly to yourself walking briskly towards Adam Scott who was getting touched up by makeup.

“He’s in a mood,” Adam sighed.

“It’s been a long week.” Why you were making excuses for Chris was beyond you. That’s all you been doing lately. “I think he wants a little more…” You gestured wildly with your hands. “Gusto. Yeah, gusto.”

Adam raised and eyebrow to you. “Gusto?”

“You know what I mean. He wants a big reaction, so give it to him. I thought the take was fine, but I’m not directing. Let’s give him that additional option.

Adam gave you a hint of a smile and nodded. “Yeah. Okay. Maybe I can do it better.”

“You’re the best,” you said over your shoulder as you walked back to Chris who chugging down a cup of coffee and going over notes.

“All good?”

“Yep. We’re ready whenever you are.” You plopped your butt in Chris’ chair since he preferred to stand during takes.

The scene ran again without interruption and the next scene was called for setup meaning you had about fifteen to twenty minutes.

Getting up from the canvas chair, you made your way to the coffee station in the far corner of the sound stage. The small liquid cream containers were missing from their designated bowl again which made your eyes roll. Someone was hogging them; you just didn’t know who.

“Shoot.”

Craft Services was an option, but you didn’t feel like making the trek across the lot. You picked up the powdered cream and mixed it into the paper cup. Powder is always a last resort. It never mixed properly and you could always taste it. But you were desperate for your caffeine fix.

“Liquid all gone?” Chris asked, stepping up beside you, grabbing his own fresh cup.

“Yes. Again!”

“I’ve got some in my trailer,” he offered.

“That’s not any closer than Craft Service, so you’re not helping,” you said dryly.

Chris chuckled lightly, turning to lean against the table as you mixed your cup with a flimsy plastic straw. “Glad to be done with that scene.”

“I’m glad you were happy with the last take,” you replied, turning around to lean next to him.

“Once Scott quits flirting, he does pretty good work.”

You choked on your coffee causing Chris to chuckle again. “Flirting with who?”

“You.”

“Adam is not flirting with me!” you shouted. “He’s married and has kids,” you said much softer, trying to control the level of your voice. “His wife was here last week. She asked me to join her book club for goodness sake.”

“That doesn’t mean anything,” he said, bringing the cup slowly to his lips, but keeping his eyes on you.

“You’re ridiculous,” you added with a head shake.

Yes, you fangirled when you met Adam for the first time. Parks and Recreation was one of your favorite shows. Still is.

“Adam is not a cheater and neither am I.”

“Maybe so, but you’re a liar.” Chris challenged.

Tears instantly welled in your eyes. You thought he was over it or at the very least accepted your apology. You bit your tongue, trying to find the right words and willing yourself not to cry at his remark.

“You’re lucky we’re at work, otherwise I’d tell you to go fuck yourself,” you said harshly before walking away.

Fuck him.

“Fahck. Y/N! Wait!” Chris called after you, quickly catching up.

You stopped abruptly, swinging around to face him. The action caught Chris off guard as you heard him suck in a breath as his eyebrows shot up.

“Not now,” you warned before turning back to where the next scene was being set up. “Are we all set?” you asked to no one in particular. It wasn’t your job to ask, but you needed the distraction and you weren’t in the mood to talk to Chris.

A couple of non-committal hums and murmured words were spoken. You kept your eyes on your script, scribbling nonsense among the various notes you had already written. Chris’ eyes were on you. You could feel them. But now was not the time to dive into what was going on between the two of you.

***

Immediately after the scene, you tucked your script in your armpit and pulled your phone out of your back pocket, hightailing it to your office.

Y/N: Can I stay with you tonight?

Chris wasn’t behind you, which was a good thing. You snuck out of there when you saw that he was stuck in a conversation with one of the producers. Making it to your office in record time, you shut the door and finally took a breath. Today was a day that you really appreciated having a door. Chris made sure that you had one, after you mentioned only having a desk on the last shoot. It really needed a lock though.

Darn lockless door.

Scott: I’m not staying with Jen. I’m at my mother’s.

You were desperate.

Y/N: Would she mind if you had a guest??

Two seconds later, your phone rang.

“Hi Scott.”

“Hi Y/N. Whaaaaaat’s going on?” Scott asked with amusement in his voice.

You blew out a breath, plopping yourself down on the small loveseat next to your desk. “He’s still mad at me.”

“Who’s mad at you?”

“Your brother. Who else?” Hearing the annoyance in your voice, you followed that up with a quiet, ‘sorry’.

“Oh boy. Well, I’m staying at Ma’s and don’t you think that would be an awkward conversation to have with her as to why you want to stay at her place?”

“Yeah,” you said softly.

“How do you know he’s still mad at you?” Scott asked.

“Well, besides the fact that he called me a liar this afternoon, he’s been hot and cold with me. He’s been real pissy at the crew as well.”

“You two.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” you asked, getting a little defensive.

“It means you really need to work your shit out.”

“Yeah, I know…But I don’t wanna.” Scott chuckled at your comment. “Could you come over? I could use a friend right now. I know he’s your brother, but if he’s just going to be moody, I don’t even want to go home.”

“He is my brother, but even I’m inclined to think he’s jerk now and again.” That made you smile. “I’ll stop by. Even pick up some pizza.”

“Thank you, my favorite Evans.”

“Appreciate the flattery sweetheart. See you later.”

“Bye, Scott.”

Taking a deep breath and closing your eyes, you let yourself sink into the sofa. Avoiding Chris forever was not an option, but at least with Scott there, you’d be able to keep your emotions under control for the night. The buzz of your phone brought your mind out of the fog like haze.

Chris: Are you heading home?

Home. Now that was a funny thing. When Chris wasn’t pushing you away, it did feel like home. But it wasn’t your home. Not really. You are a guest and Chris is your host.

Y/N: Yeah. Getting ready to take off for the day.

You chewed on your bottom lip waiting for his reply. You really hoped he wasn’t planning on stopping by your office before you left.

Your cell buzzed again indicating another text was received.

Chris: I have a few things to finish up here, then I’ll be home.

Deciding not to reply, you grabbed your bag, stuffed your script and laptop into it, and left the studio.

***

You cleaned up your room a bit, even though it wasn’t particularly dirty. The bed was made and besides a few pieces of clothing that didn’t make it into the hamper, it was mostly clean. Dodger was fed and you had let him outside when you first made it back to Chris’ house. Scott would be at the door any minute and you really hoped he’d beat Chris home. Why? Because apparently you were twelve years old again. You were one step away from locking yourself in your bedroom with angsty music from the nineties playing on full blast.

The doorbell rang and along with it, your body relaxed. Jogging to the door, you threw it open to let Scott in, who came armed with two cardboard pizza boxes.

“Hey sweets!”

You grabbed the boxes from his hands, bringing them both into the kitchen so that Scott could step out of his shoes.

“Thanks for dinner, bunches,” you replied.

“No problem.”

“Two though?” you asked, while grabbing a couple of plates from the cupboard.

Scott walked into the kitchen, giving you a hug from behind. “Even the jerk has to eat.”

“I suppose your right. I’m not sure when he’s going to be home. I’ll turn the oven on low and stick a few pieces on a cookie sheet to keep them warm.”

“So domestic!” Scott teased.

“Shut it bunches.”

Scott gasped out a laugh. “Are we throwing darts at Chris’ old head shots. I know where he hides them if that’s part of the plan.”

You turned around and threw your arms around him in a fit of giggles. “I’m so glad we’re friends.”

“Yeah, me too sweets,” Scott mumbled into your hair.

***

Scott had insisted on watching Spice World since you had never seen it, but you mentioned watching the Sandy Duncan version of Peter Pan when you were a kid and Scott couldn’t get it out of his head now. So, that’s what the two of you decided to watch. After a quick search YouTube, you found it and watched it through the Roku on the large flat screen in the living room. Sandy was flying around the Darlings’ bedroom when the front door opened.

“Hey. Didn’t know you were coming over tonight,” Chris said, presumably to Scott.

“Yeah, sweets and I are hanging out. Your welcome to join us,” Scott replied.

You kicked his foot with your own. Scott scowled at you and you shrugged your shoulders in return.

“There’s a…there’s pizza in the oven for you,” you said keep your eyes on the screen.

“Thanks,” Chris replied, flicking the back of Scott’s ear as he walked by.

“You can’t avoid him. And this is house, of course I’m going to offer that he joins us.”

“Whatever,” you mumbled, eyes going back to the TV.

Chris walked back in the room a few minutes later, sitting in the arm chair that was angled toward the side of the couch you were sitting on. He kicked up his feet on the cushion your body was half laying half sitting on. Turning your head to look at him, he bounced his eyebrows at you before turning his head to the TV.

“Sandy Duncan? God, I used to love this.”

Scott shushed Chris and you smiled.

***

The video ended and you stood up to stretch, Scott following suit. Chris disappeared into the kitchen, presumably to grab another bottle of beer.

“Welp! I’m out of here,” Scott announced, walking to the door to slip his shoes back on.

“What?” you whispered yelled, following after him.

“You two need to talk. And I mean really talk. None of this, I forgive you bullshit, let’s be friends. You know it. He knows it. We all fucking know it.”

You stood there with your mouth agape letting his statement sink in.

“Night Chris!” Scott yelled with the door already open.

Chris jogged back into the room, two beers in his hand. “You taking off already?”

“Yeah, I’m beat. Talk to you both tomorrow,” he said, stepping out and closing the door.

You stood there starring at the closed door, clearly not sure what you were supposed to do in that moment. Turning around and facing away from a closed door was a good option. Deciding you’d been standing there a second too long, you turned around to see Chris looking at you with beers still in hand. A small smile tugged on your lips.

“Beer?” He offered taking a step closer to you.

Taking the last few steps to meet him, you took the bottle he offered from his hand, fingers grazing his. “Thanks. I’m probably going to head to my room for the night.”

“Wait. Please? Could we…talk for a minute?”

Bringing the bottle to your lips, you took a long pull before lowering it and nodding. The two of you turned back to the couch Scott and you had occupied moments before. You sat on opposite ends, but both turned to face one another. You finding comfort in your bottle which you drank from again, before noticing it was half gone.

Chris licked his lips, finger tapping audibly on the bottle. “I didn’t mean it. What I said earlier today when I called you a liar. I don’t truly believe that. I was being an asshole. I’m an asshole sometimes. I know that about myself.”

His honesty surprised you. You didn’t know how to answer, so you simply nodded.

“This movie is stressing me out. When it’s your movie, it’s a lot of pressure. I want to put out a good film, it needs to be good. So, all this pressure puts me on edge. Everyone’s doing a good job and doing what they should be doing, but I have these moments where it doesn’t feel right. It’s not perfect. If it’s not perfect I have to take the fall. Who’s going to fund a film with a shitty director who puts out a shitty product?”

“It’s not shitty, Chris. The play backs I’ve seen have been amazing.”

“It’s in my head though. I don’t think I’ll stop being stressed until it’s released to be honest.”

“I get it, but…”

“But that’s not the only thing,” he interrupted. “It’s us too. You.”

“Me?” you asked, eyebrows creasing.

“I’m honestly and completely not upset about the engagement thing. It was something you had to do for a job and I’m over it.” He runs a hand through his hair. “But we went right back as if nothing happened.”

“If you’re over it and you’ve forgiven me, why can’t we move on?” you asked honestly.

“I don’t want to move on as if nothing happened.” Chris closed his eyes, mouth opening as he pulled in a big breath. “That night where you told me the truth, I told you my truth as well. I’m crazy about you Y/N and it seems like we’ve forgotten all about that. And you kissed me! How can we act like none of that happened? That none of that mattered?”

“Figured you didn’t feel that way anymore,” you mumbled before clearing your throat. “That the lie was too big and the secret was too big that you didn’t see me like that. Like someone you could care about. More than a friend.”

Chris set his bottle on the coffee table and scooted closer to you on the couch. He grabbed the bottle from your hand, placing it beside his. He took both of your hands in his, playing with the ring on your right hand with his thumb.

“Not possible.”

The words were so simple yet so deep that you felt your heart banging wildly against your ribcage.

“I still want you. Want us,” you whispered.

Chris’ lips curved up into a hesitant opened mouth smile. He brought your hands to his mouth, kissing each one, before lowering them back down between you. “That’s all I want.”

You lifted yourself to your knees, leaning in closer to him, but wanting him to decide what happens next. You kissed him the first time, it was his turn to make the move.

It didn’t take him long to decide as he let go of one of your hands, bringing it to the back of your neck and pulling you down to his lips. They were as soft as you remembered. His kissed you tenderly, with no rush, as if the two of you had all night. You pulled back slightly and gave him a smile.

“That was nice,” you said softly.

“I’m not done.”

Chris pulled your mouth back to his, kissing you gently until you felt his tongue skim along your seam. You opened immediately, allowing him entrance. He rolled his tongue along yours as you trailed your hand up his chest, along his neck, and into his hair.

The two of you made out for what felt like hours. You straddled his lap and eventually he positioned you both so that you were laying on the couch. It was kept mostly PG13 with kisses, whispered words, and a lot of cuddling. It was nice. Better than nice and you knew this wouldn’t be the end of it.

***

Chris: Can you come to my trailer? We need to go over scene 28.

Scene 28 was code for ‘I want to kiss you’. The two of you had been sneaking around on set for a week. You still hadn’t gone further than second base which was fine by you since you wanted to take this slow. Plus, you were working together. Working together and starting up a relationship could be complicated. Filming would be wrapped in a couple of weeks, and you had already committed to staying an additional month for the start of editing.

Your relationship with Chris right now was in this tight fairytale bubble that you didn’t want to pop. There was no talk of the future. Not even talk about how you’d spend the holidays. Whether it was Chris or if it was all you, either way, you wanted to stay in this bubble.

You quickly grabbed your script along with a pen and made the quick walk from the studio offices to Chris’ trailer. The sneaking around was thrilling. It was your own private secret that only you and Chris shared. No one was following you, but you couldn’t help but glance behind you every few seconds.

You reached Chris’ trailer, knocking twice on the closed door. Chris opened it wide, looking around to see if anyone was watching the two of you. They weren’t.

“Hey! You wanted to go over that scene?” you asked too loudly.

“Ye-yeah. Come on in Y/N.”

They two of you were so good at this game.

You stepped in, shutting and locking the door behind you. Chris grabbed your script and pen before you had a chance to set them down. With his free hand, he grabbed your elbow and brought you to him, capturing your lips in a heated kiss.

“I’ve missed you,” he whispered against your lips.

You gave him a chaste kiss. “I just saw you this morning.”

He kissed you again. “Yeah, that was hours ago.”

You laughed, wrapping both arms around his neck as Chris started walking the two of you backwards to the bedroom, his mouth never leaving yours. Your calves hit the end of the bed, so you lowered your bottom to the soft mattress. Chris lowered himself over you and dragged the two of you up the bed until your head hit the pillows.

“Can’t wait until we don’t have to hide this. Us,” he said against your ear, mouth leaving wet kisses along the length of your neck.

“Me too. This is fun though,” you moaned when his tongue traced the shell of your ear.

“It is. But I want to take you out and not have people whispering about us,” he said, causing you to giggle. “What?” His face pulled back to look at your own.

“Well, you are Chris Evans. They’re going to stare and whisper about you no matter what.”

“Shut it,” Chris replied, kissing your nose.

***

“Are you ready babe?” Chris called from the hallway outside your room.

“Just about,” you called back finishing your hair in the mirror attached to the closet door.

Grabbing your lip balm from the dresser, you stock it in the pocket of your jeans and joined Chris in the living room.

“Wow. You look great,” Chris drawled out.

You looked down at your dark jeans, boots, and burgundy sweater. “This?”

Chris wrapped you in his arms. “Just beautiful.”

You kissed his perfect pout. “You’re too kind Mr. Evans. Now, let’s go. I’m hungry.”

Chris interlaced your fingers and pulled you to the door.

Dinner was at Chris’ mother’s house tonight. It wasn’t the first time; in fact, it was the fifth time not including brunch one Sunday since you came to town. You had met the whole Evans clan minus his father and you truly liked them all. You missed your family back home in the Midwest, so being around a close bunch such as the Evans made you happy.

“Ma! We’re here!” Chris yelled as the two of you walked into her home.

“You don’t need me to make yourselves comfortable,” Lisa said, peeking her head outside the kitchen.

“Hi Lisa,” you said with a wave, Chris still holding your other hand.

“Hi sweetie. Dinner should be ready in five. You know where the drinks are.”

“Sure do.”

You pulled Chris in the kitchen with you, not that you needed him to accompany you, but he wouldn’t let go of your hand. Chris released your hand when you gave him a look. You needed both your hands to grab glasses from the upper cupboard after all.

Digging into the fridge, you pulled out a pitcher of lemonade no doubt made by Lisa that afternoon. You poured two glasses and put the pitcher back in the refrigerator before handing Chris his glass, only for him to set it on the counter. He took your free hand in his once again.

“Ma,” he said, Lisa turning from the stove to look at him. “I’d like you to meet Y/N.”

Lisa chuckled as did you. Her face one of confusion. “Christopher, are you feeling alright?”

“I’m feeling wonderful ma.”

Lisa stood in front of the two of you. “Then why are you introducing me to Y/N who I already know?”

“Well,” Chris started, coy smile on his face. “I’d like to introduce you to Y/N, my girlfriend.”

A surprised smile sprung up on your face as you squeezed Chris’ hand tightly.

“Oh! This is quite the development. When did this start?” she asked pointing between the two of you.

“A little more than two weeks ago,” he replied, throwing arm around your shoulder.

“Well, then I say, it’s about time,” Lisa replied, giving you a wink and turning back to the stove. “But how’s this going to work when Y/N goes back home to California?”

That was a question the two you in your fairytale bubble hadn’t yet discussed, but would need to.

***

Tag List: @tanelle83 @pinknerdpanda @allaboutthebooz @estillion14 @panicfob @patzammit @xoxabs88xox @heartislubbingdubbing @twittytelly​ @linki-locks11 @ab-baybay @impalaimages @jesseswartzwelder @rainbowkisses31 @xostephanie @smoothdogsgirl @mrsambroserollinsacklesmgk @xxloki81xx @thenormreedus @firstangeldragonranch @soitmightgetweird @maeleeme @denisemarieangelina @rvgrsbrns @icanfeelastormbrewing @velvetwonderbucky @kitkat1690 @smilexcaptainx @dangerouslovefanfic @dwights-new-plague @kelbabyblue @sweetlittlegingy @dont-need-another-fandom @chrisevansforever @evansxxx @southerngracela @bitterstar88 @squirrelnotsam @kitkatd7 @marvelislove10 @the-doctors-fallen-angel @hista-girl @cocomel0613 @also-fangirlinsweden @chrisevansfanfic @zsuzstyina @peach-acid @trynnabemultifandom @mrsshiddleston@tfandtws @heyyouwiththeassbutt @evanlys19 @cheeseburgersstuff  @evemej @whymalu @straightforwardly @deidrashouseofpain @samsgoddess @fanfictionaffair @lakamaa12 @imaginesofdreams @captnstarryeyed @the-walking-daryl​ @benedicttcumberbabe @michellemybelles-world @lorilane33 @divadinag @bellaireland1981 @illi-vanilli @the-walking-daryl @dezzylou24 @jennabenna12 @tinycertain @perplexed3001

[kashuan]

All right, there are quite a few things that come to mind with a question as broad as this, so here’s my best attempt to sum up what character design means to me in like 5 minutes :,D. I’m going to start with a few very quick sketches that talk about more my general approach to drawing, but I’m going to build up to how it all connects with character.

Step 1) Find reference! Whenever you can, use reference, it will always make your character’s posing look 100 times more genuine than anything you can pull from your brain, and that’s nothing to feel bad about. It’s not cheating because we’re not stopping at Step 2 either, which is where the misnomer comes in that you’re just ‘copying’ (protip: even step 2 isn’t a straight Copy; as long as you’re not tracing, you’re not copying, and even tracing has its uses for personal studies). I could do a whole answer of it’s own about picking your reference, but I’ll keep it short by saying: not every reference will fit every character. Keep in mind your character’s attitude when choosing your ref. Some poses are so generic they’re one size fits all, but even this very simple pose has unique character to it. The way the legs are posed, to me, gives it a young and girlish feeling, and depending how you played with the expression, you could even make it come off shy. An overbearingly confident character, while also taking an arms crossed pose, will likely position their legs differently, assuming a stance that takes up more space, etc.

Step 2) Draw pretty much exactly what you see first, but keep it simple. Think of the body like individual shapes; anatomy is not the focus right now, and you’ll actually hinder yourself if you hone in on that first. What you want to do at this stage is capture what the pose is generally doing; character isn’t involved yet Step 3) Now, working off 2′s framework, start considering body type. If you skip the previous step, you might have a hard time capturing the gesture correctly, since it’s a lot for your brain to juggle at once. When I sketched these two different body types, I built it straight off the first drawing, erasing lines as needed.

So the first image includes some extremely basic body type variations, this one pushes that idea further. 1 is the basic frame from the last image, while 2 is about playing with proportions. There are a lot of ways you can play with proportions, and as I’ll come to sound like a broken record about: make those decisions thoughtfully. For example, when I made this version shorter than the reference base, I had to consider exactly where I wanted her to lose that height. Here, I made her shorter waisted, took a little length from the legs, and gave her a squatter neck as well. You can do one of these or all of them. Just keep in mind those are all individual options. Letting your train of thought stop at ‘this character is short/tall so I’m just going to generally shrink/stretch their body’ means you’ll run out of variety pretty fast, and sometimes the overall proportions can end up looking wonky (though there’s always exceptions to the rule, remember that the individual body parts should remain correctly scaled in relation to each other). Image 3 is another approach to proportional manipulation, except rather than focusing on height, it focuses on fat distribution and to a lesser extent bone structure. Again, there’s so many individual places you can focus on here, make sure to mix them up. Arm size, shoulder broadness, chest and hip size, leg thickness and musculature, foot and hand size and so forth.   Image 4 is a further exaggeration of image 3 and the lines have started to get a little more stylized. While image 3 is still reasonably realistic, 4 is just starting to cross into cartoon territory. Advantage of 4 is that when you are able to push the proportions further due to the leniency of style, you can sell a clearer idea and a clearer character. Downside is, well, it looks more cartoonish now, and depending on the needs of your image that might not be what you want ie: it can look like a mistake rather than a purposeful choice if everyone else around the character is drawn more realistically.

Also… I see variations on this general advice quite a lot for women, but don’t forget about doing the same for men. It’s great to see how eager a lot of artists are to experiment with the female form that is simply absent in a lot of mainstream media, but I find that men really tend to fall by the wayside here even though they often get equally shallow treatment in the mainstream. There’s usually like 2-3 ‘go-to’ body types for men and that’s it. Men’s bodies can have the exact same amount of variety as a woman’s, including the individual ways the fat can be distributed on it, and the assorted ways their proportions can be played with. Whenever I find an artist that does this it’s like striking gold to me tbh. 

So there’s some very rough hows. But, perhaps even more importantly than any of that, is WHY you make these choices. This is going to get a little stream of consciousness, but with a question this broad, I tried to hit on as many general points I could think of in regard to my own process.

-When I start to design a character, I really need to have an understanding of them first. This includes things like backstory, personality, habits, so and so forth… Yes, all of this stuff shows up in their design, even if it’s just a drawing of them standing straight up. This isn’t just like ‘this character got this scar at age 7 so I need to know where it goes′, I mean in depth info about them. I touched on this a little bit earlier, bringing up the different ways a character would assume the same general pose, but let me expand on that. -What do I mean by personality? So there’s the most obvious answer, which is that a bubbly character will assume bubbly poses, a sullen character will slouch more, etc… But let’s take it further than that. This is a concept I’ve touched on in past tutorials, but here’s a quick recap. A character’s personality involves their opinions, for one; how do you make that show up in their design? Well, one of the most obvious questions I always ask myself is: what is their opinion on their own appearance (the thing we are drawing)/how do they want to be perceived by others? Consider a strong character. I see a lot of artists who take this thought as far as: okay, this character is strong, so I’m gonna throw a 6 pack on him, maybe a nice pair of guns, and call it a day. Which leads to like, nice art, but also...kind of bland? I think that’s because this is a rather half-baked approach. How can we take it further? Ask yourself more specific questions. Is your strong character concerned with being perceived as an ‘ideal’ sort of fit by others (the type you give that showy 6 pack to) or does that not matter to them? (more likely to look ‘chubby’ if not outright fat, though probably is just as if not more capable of actually doing some real heavy lifting than saran wrapped abs man). If they’re some kind of mystical being that can look like whatever they want (ie: the anime waif that can also lift 1000 lbs-trope), you should still take into account their personal perspective on appearance. Don’t just stop at ‘this guy/girl is strong so they’ll look super shredded’ or ‘they’re magic so I’ll do whatever’. Doing this, you’ve instantly lost a chance to inform the audience more about the individual there beyond ‘they’re strong’ -Break it down further with their habits. What is their daily life like? If they’re running ten miles every day they should probably have some strong looking legs. If their job involves a lot of lifting, maybe focus on the upper body more and leave the legs less defined. Do they eat a lot? Or drink? The way the fat distributes in both these cases will be noticeably different (and this isn’t even taking into account points like an endomorph vs an ectomorphs body, which I always suggest reading up on). I’d definitely recommend drawing as many different body types as you can just as studies, in order to add these variations to your mental library. I’m sure every artist has seen this popular athlete line up by now, but really study images like this. Don’t just mindlessly copy what you see when you create your own characters though; think about why those athletes have the bodies they have, what they specifically did to get them like that, and how that can apply to your character’s own life. -One thing that has always bothered me is how often artists are afraid to use the head (not the features; I’ll get to that in a second) as an extension of the body when it comes to imbuing it with variety and character. While it is absolutely possible to have a thin face and a fat body (as is any combo), it’s another missed opportunity not to experiment with chubby cheeks, a soft jawline, etc. It’s a cliche to mention him at this point as an inspiration, but one of my very favorite things about Mucha’s art was how he was able to make fuller faces look so beautiful despite being a rather nontraditional approach (so many art books try to tell you this is a big NO). example, example. These faces actually look like real individuals to me than a drawing that focuses too hard on being generically aesthetically pleasing. -So, facial features. A face with less traditional features isn’t just going to be more memorable than Stock Beautiful Face #73, but it’s basically a more zoomed in version of informing the audience about the character in the same way the body does. -Know tropes, play with tropes, do not rely on tropes. Sunken bone structure, long features-guy will always pretty much read like a villain (or at least someone off-putting), but find somewhere to make the formula your own. Give him thicker eyebrows or big ears. Give the girl with the standard doll-face a nose that sticks out a little more prominently or a crooked smile. -Speaking of are so many different ways to draw a smile, do not underestimate the mileage you can get out of this one feature alone. Artists tend to have a favorite way to draw smiles, in my experience, but remember your character. Would they have a big toothy grin, a handsome ‘cool’ looking smile, a small shy lopsided one, ones that touch the eyes, ones that don’t… This is probably a repetitive point by now but just do whatever you can not to draw the exact same feature on two different characters, and make sure to think through your reasoning for every choice you make. To me, it’s always immediately evident if an artist really knows their character or if they’re just trying to make something aesthetically pleasing. The former is always more attention grabbing in my opinion. -One of my favorite things to consider when designing a character who’s part of a family: genetics and how you can play with them to inform the audience more about the character’s story. Does this character take after their mother or father? How? Why? Why why, you might ask? This isn’t a photo of a real person, this is an illustration that you should be making deliberate choices about every step along the way. It’s one thing to draw a character that looks like their parent simply because logic dictates they should, another to make meaningful decisions as to where and why they do. Some examples: He has his father’s eyes because they carry the same intensity and other characters are a little put off by him because it (conversely, maybe he’s such a gentle character that this detail stands out twice as strongly). He has the same hair as his father, but he styles it differently to avoid the association. She has her mother’s nose which everyone compliments her on so shes happy to be seen in profile. She has her father’s broad shoulders and she’s a little self conscious about it so she tends to wear baggier clothing. Etc etc! In all these cases, you can communicate these details through even a simple drawing of the character standing alone, and should try to as often as you can. -In the end, the only way you’re going to know how to draw all these different details, whether they be different body types or different facial features, is by studying real people. Draw as many different kinds as you can, add them to your mental library. Your reference will never give you everything you need to work it, and I’m not sure if that’s maybe what this question as getting at-- if I have a reference folder of go-to ‘types’ or something. I don’t. I have a folder of poses labeled with characters I think they’d fit, and that’s about it. If you’re just imitating what you see in a photo, you’ll always be drawing That Person, not Your Character. So you are going to have to pull some of it out of your brain. Note, however, the important difference between just ‘making it up’ and recalling information you’ve studied in the past. That said, while on this last topic of expanding your mental library, that includes not just doing studies, but also learning and observing the ways other accomplished artists work. Here are some of my book recommendations when it comes to those which have most helped me in regard to this particular subject. This includes books that specifically tell you how to vary your body types, but also ones that just have a lot of examples of different kinds: Morpho: Anatomy for Artists Morpho: Fat and Skin Folds Famous Artists School Course in Illustration and Design (If anyone is interested in this one and has trouble finding a non $500 copy, hit me up and I’ll help you out) Spirit of the Pose Anatomy Lessons from the Great Masters Drawing People: How to Portray the Clothed Figure Figures from Life (my favorite currently; not the most varied array of figures but he goes in depth on how to successfully grow an academic study of a model into an illustration influenced by your own ideas and personal style) If you found this answer helpful, although it isn’t specifically about character design, I go a little more in depth about some of the topics I briefly covered here (such as choosing the right reference, good vs bad reference in general, honing in on shapes, pushing the pose, etc) in this short book of mine :>

[ask-artsy-oncie]

So I’m kinda in a meh/apathetic headspace in regards to my mental health right now. Maybe it would be best to just let some thoughts out. 

Firstly, I do want to apologize for making stupid, borderline inflammatory posts and throwing them out there onto tumblr dot com, I know that’s never the best course of action. However, I really, really do not appreciate anons sending vague “are you okay”s at me. If you’re not close enough to me where you can’t PM me (relatively) face-to-face, then I really wouldn’t like random inquiries about my mental health from you. Maybe it’s just because I don’t 100% trust anons (I’ve been here for a decade, I’ve seen some shit, can you really blame me?) but I think I ought to make myself clear on that. Are we clear on that? cool. 

I don’t know... I’ve felt so lost and tired recently, moreso than usual.

I’ve always had a massive complex about annoying people, being too self-indulgent, not having good ideas or opinions or what-have-you. People who have known me for a while almost definitely know that. I don’t think it all necessarily exists in a vacuum, either I have a genuinely hard time coming up with objectively good ideas. Sometimes I’m just straight-up “head empty” mode. I’m also often really opinionated and sometimes intend to die on hills that people aren’t really meant to die on (or are even necessarily worth dying on). I can get way too wrapped up on meaningless things because my brain is too hyperfocused on this one thing, or maybe something I rely too heavily on for comfort is... I don’t know how to put it.... put at risk? Challenged? I have a lot of mental issues and real life issues, though I’m not claiming to be massively oppressed or anything, but I tend to cling to comforts a little too desperately. And I’m not just talking about like. Media. Just comforts in general. Sometimes I’ll spend too much of the day laying in bed. Sometimes I cling to old relationships or old forms of relationships or I constantly worry about the day I’ll inevitably no longer have the same relationships I have now. 

I’ve known I needed therapy for a while now. I’m waitlisted and everything, but I need to go about actually choosing a therapist to see and I’ve been dragging my feet on that so I guess that’s my bad. I’ll get to it. Shit’s overwhelming, yknow? 

Anyways I know I have a lot of these flaws and problems and I think my horrible anxieties about being too annoying and whatnot is just a really extreme form of self-reflection. Maybe. Not entirely sure. Maybe a therapist could tell me.

I get way too passionate, way too easily, and it’s almost always followed by a super intense period of shame, like, to the point where I’m desperate to isolate myself and destroy my relationships with other people, because then at least I’m actually trying to destroy a relationship by being a bad person, rather than someone leaving me for... I don’t know, being too happy? Caring too much? Talking too much? Just. Shit I have less control over. 

I’ve tried putting a cap on it, suppressing everything. Trying not to indulge too much, trying not to be so happy and talkative, straight-up deleting messages I think might be too annoying the second I send them. Trying to be inoffensive through being unnoticeable. I’m trying to do that now, honestly. It’s why I joked about deleting my blog. All it does is hurt and make me go fucking nuts because I’m bottling up a lot in doing that, I know. I’m just not fully convinced I don’t just deserve to feel that way.

There are a lot of points in my life where I’m convinced that my best course of action in succeeding or keeping people from being put-off by me is to just sit down and shut up and draw what I’m told to draw. To just completely lose my agency in drawing. It makes sense, when you feel like you don’t have any good ideas of your own, you just illustrate others’. And there are many, many points where I have done this out of a place of love. Fuck, most of what I’ve drawn for Lolly’s writing has come out of a place of genuine love, not just for her work, but for her. A lot of what I’ve drawn for Bethany (for any REAL long-time followers reading this) has been like that, too. But there are also points where it honestly just feels like my only purpose is to be a tool through which others may visualize their whims. That if I dare inject too much of myself into things, they’ll be permanently ruined. And then there’s the shame I feel in having wanted to impart a piece of myself into a work - a demerit for being too selfish or self-important to deem my whims anywhere near good or important enough to be included. 

I have so many ideas. So many opinions and thoughts and feelings and genuine insight that I’ve suppressed or deleted because I either feel like that’s what’s expected of me, or I’m straight-up told that my thoughts and opinions are bad and wrong. Like. Fuck me for having opinions on animated media levels of being shut-down. And you know, I’ve noticed something in the past decade of being an insufferable opinionated prick about things like that - that it’s actually easier for me to enjoy media when I’m allowed to be negative and critical of it. When I am allowed to just share my thoughts. And I don’t mean like, without being disagreed with, I mean like, in an environment where I’m made to feel like I actually can share these thoughts. When I can pinpoint and analyze what I didn’t like or what made me upset, it can be a lot easier for me to then move on and be able to focus on aspects that I genuinely do like. Like, holy fuck, it is SO much easier for me to pick-and-choose aspects of a certain sequel film that I actually like and feel comfortable saying I like than it was for me to do with the original, because I no longer have an incredibly toxic person in my life (or at least, in my life as much).

But that doesn’t mean I haven’t had this kind of experience since then, like. There are STILL things I struggle to move past because I have been made to feel like I just can’t fucking talk about them without being insufferable (sorry if I’m overusing that word - it just feels like the best word the feeling I’m trying to describe) or just straight-up ruining something for someone I care about. Keeping shit like this in does crazy shit to me, for real, and there’s still a large part of me that tells me “Fuck you. Suck it up. None of this shit matters.” Y’know? Because in the grand scheme of things, I know it doesn’t. And then there’s the shame that comes from having cared so much in the first place. It’s a fucking cycle. There’s some shit that’s just irreparable ruined for me because of this and that SUCKS.

I don’t like losing comforts. Fuck, I hate it, really. And I’m not talking about new comforts coming along and catching my attention as an old comfort begins to wane, I’m talking like. Destroying relationships, feeling SO MUCH shame surrounding a comfort media that it’s too difficult to enjoy it no matter how hard I try, or having too hard of a time disassociating a comfort with a horrible event or person. And it’s feeling like at LEAST one of these is starting to happen to me again and Good Gods it’s just. It’s so terrifying. 

But who do I tell? When my primary worry is annoying or offending or hurting people? Y’know? I can’t just vent to one single person to this all the time, that isn’t fair. But it gets to a point where my brain tells me “No, you can’t talk to ANYONE about this because that’s rude and wrong and a true friend wouldn’t do that. There’s a reason why you can make any number of concerning posts, messages, private ramblings, whatever, and the people you’re closest to won’t ask you what’s wrong.” 

And, yeah, honestly, I do think it’s true that the people I consider my closest friends won’t read this. I actually don’t believe the average person will read this, or at least get this far. I genuinely do just talk too much and it’s a lot for most people to deal with. Otherwise, I talk too little, and probably enter the “you should be able to read my MIND” level of expectations, which, of course, isn’t far. I understand, I swear I do, it just takes some time to come to terms with every time I get wrapped up in my stupid mental stuff. And I also promise that I try to give these people the same kind of response I want, y’know? I try to look out for any worrying behavior and try to offer an ear and help in any way that I can. I don’t think expecting the same in return is fair, I just worry about any of them being like me, and I’m willing to play to that if it’s necessary. I’ll break quiet streaks for that shit, y’know?

Honestly, these stupid quiet streaks are probably more unbearable for me than they are even noticeable for most people. It sucks. I just wish my mind was normal so I A) wouldn’t have these insecurities to begin with, because B) I would never end up exhibiting the behavior to warrant such insecurities.

There’s so much shit I want to talk about, to analyze, or explore, that I want to share with the world, or at least with people I love, that I probably never will because my stupid brain has already decided that all this stupid shit is better kept to myself where it can rot and be forgotten eventually. Which is fine, in the grand scheme of things, I guess, because I functionally have never really been the guy who comes up with ideas (at least, good ideas) I’m just the pencil, the one who I guess makes things visual? I can’t even bring myself to say “I bring the ideas to life” because that’s pretentious and untrue. These ideas are already alive because they come from brilliant minds. 

I don’t even think it’s fair for me to call myself a character designer unless the characters are my own. Otherwise, I’m just following the directions of a much more competent conceptualizer (there’s a reason my characters barely have any... well, character). That’s the reason why I removed my unearned credit as the character designer for Ty from Swindle’s description, because I really don’t deserve that kind of credit. It’s why the asks about the designing process of Ty have been left unanswered, because, fuck, what do I even say? “I just did what Lolly told me to do, just like I did with all of Swindle. Please don’t give me that kind of credit, I know I falsely ascribed it to myself earlier, and I want to rectify that”? I guess I could have, actually, now that I’m typing this. But people always get fucking upset with me when I try not to take credit, even when it’s shit that isn’t mine!! So I don’t know what to do!! I don’t know what to fucking do!!! Because I just don’t fucking want to make people upset or unhappy!!!!!!!

I’m sorry, this post is too long and I’ve worked myself up and I’m no longer apathetic. I’m gonna go cry myself to sleep so big win for my complexion, honestly. 

Don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine. I guess getting this shit out of my system is probably best to do in a big tumblr post no one will read. 

I don’t want anons about this. If I can just ask one thing. Please.

[sablelab]

Covert Operations - Chapter 143

SUMMARY: Madeline makes her way to Centre to see Mr Lambert to ascertain what exactly Colum Mackenzie had been relaying to him about the Rising Dragons’ mission, their operatives James Fraser and Claire Beauchamp and in particular Section One itself.

Chapter 142(S) and all other chapters can be found at … https://sablelab.tumblr.com/covertoperations  

THANK YOU all so much for reading, liking, reblogging and leaving your lovely comments about Jamie and Claire from last week’s chapter. I know it will be hard for them to leave such a beautiful place and return to Section but alas eventually they must to finish what they started. I hope that you will enjoy these next couple of chapters where new intel comes to hand that will have a significant bearing on how Section One proceeds next.  Thank you again for supporting my story. It is very much appreciated

 CHAPTER 143

Madeline glanced at her GPS. She was not far away and knew she would be at her destination within twenty minutes. It was not the usual protocol to have a leader of one of the other sections make a visit to Centre unless they were summoned there by Mr. Lambert himself. However, drastic times required drastic measures and Madeline was here to see the supreme leader of all the Sections to sort out what exactly Colum Mackenzie had been relaying to him about the Rising Dragons’ mission, their operatives James Fraser and Claire Beauchamp and in particular Section One itself. Operations and Madeline needed to get to the bottom of Colum’s ulterior interests in the triad as well as setting the record straight as far as Section One stood in regard to the mission for Mr. Lambert. They were flying blind as to what Intel he had been passing on and what, if any interference, he had instigated in the capturing of Sun Yee Lok and his cohorts. Madeline’s task was to make sure that Colum did not jeopardise the next phase of the Rising Dragons’ mission in any way to further his own agenda. It was agreed that she be the designated go-between as she could keep a more level head rather than Operations. He could easily have flown off the handle at the mention of his nemesis and brother Colum. There was no telling what he would have done if there had been any meddling so far by Oversight to usurp command away from Section One because of some ulterior motive by a self-serving megalomaniac that was their immediate leader. It was their perceived notion that Colum’s delusions of grandeur and lust for power knew no boundaries in his rivalry against Dougal however, they had little knowledge that he may have had ulterior motives for his frequent visits to Section One only suppositions. Therefore, it was imperative that she got a heads up on the proceedings as well as set Mr. Lambert on the right path as to how Section One was handling the Rising Dragons’ mission and Claire and Jamie’s continued involvement. But more importantly, they wanted Colum Mackenzie to be ordered to cease and desist with his interference in Section One business or they would deal with him in their own way. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Everything within Centre was stark … the walls … the hallways, even the operatives. Madeline made her way up one such austere hallway and walked up to an uncluttered desk behind which sat Michelle, the young woman receptionist. On hearing the footsteps stop, she looked up to see Section One’s Head Strategist standing in front of her desk. She addressed her professionally and with a little warmth in her voice. “Good morning.”  However, Madeline’s reply was less than cordial. “Is he in?” “He’ll be a minute. Have a seat,” Michelle intonated looking over to where there was seating with her eyes. Madeline ignored her statement and merely continued to stand for a moment, before leaning over Michelle’s desk to talk to her. She was not used to being kept waiting and her patience was running thin.

Her tone was a little intimidating. “How is Mr. Lambert doing this morning?”  However, the Personal Assistant was not in the least perturbed by her mannerism. Hearing the question, Michelle looked up at her slowly, which riled Madeline even more. The receptionist had a slight, secretive smile on her face as if all the tea in China wouldn’t persuade her to divulge any Intel about the elusive Mr. Lambert.

“You know that I can’t tell you that.” A little put out by the change in power roles Madeline changed her facial features and gave the girl a wry smile.

“Well what can you tell me?”  Averting her gaze from Section One’s doyen, Michelle ignored her question and glanced down at a small handheld LED device before her, which read … “Send Madeline in”. Looking back at the commanding, elegantly dressed woman waiting to see the Head of Centre she relayed his instructions with the hint of a reserved smile.

“He’s ready to see you now.”  Madeline nodded with a sombre face at the secretary’s words and made her way through the door that led into the office to join her superior, Mr. Lambert.  ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ The Head of Centre sat behind his stark, white desk in a grey suit, hands clasped before him on the top waiting for his visitor. As Madeline entered the two figures eyed each other off warily before a slight smile appeared on Mr. Lambert’ lips. She in turn gave nothing away as to her mindset and stood with her hands behind her back. The tension in the air could have been cut with a knife but Mr. Lambert initiated the first conversation. He addressed Section One’s second-in-command in a dry, humourless manner.

“Hello, Madeline. I’ve been expecting you.” “Mr. Lambert,” she replied equally as indirect. “To what do I owe the pleasure of your visit to Centre?” He paused, waiting for an answer but when none was forthcoming, he continued,“Is this a personal matter or business call?” “A bit of both,” Madeline stated looking him in the eye with an enigmatic smile. “I see … Do we have something to discuss then?”  “As a matter of fact, we do.”  However, Mr. Lambert ignored her statement and instead gestured towards a leather winged chair with his hand. “Please take a seat I’ll just inform Michelle that we will be requiring refreshments.” He gave Madeline a surreptitious look and quickly summed up her demeanour adding knowingly, “We may be here for a while.”  Depressing his intercom, he made his requests succinctly. “Michelle … we require tea for two and some finger sandwiches ASAP.” “Very good sir. Will that be all?” “I’ll let you know if I have any further requirements.” “Certainly. I won’t be long.” “Thank you,” he relied then looked up at Madeline who was now sitting in the armed chair facing his desk. She’d watched the leader of all the Sections clandestinely as he’d spoken with his Personal Assistant but raised her eyes when he next spoke to her. “So Madeline, you were saying that we had something to discuss. Please enlighten me. You have my undivided attention,” he announced sitting back in his office chair while observing Section’s strategist beneath guarded eyes. He was intrigued as to why she was here and not Operations. “I would like to debrief actually. I thought you may like a woman’s perspective on how we are doing things at Section One Mr. Lambert.” “About the Rising Dragons’ mission no doubt.” He studied her face but Madeline gave nothing away as to what she may be thinking. She gave him a wry smile and a nod of her head, replying evasively, “And other things.” Mr. Lambert raised an eyebrow at her open-ended statement and elucidated, “Yes … I would like that very much ... we don’t meet nearly enough Madeline.” “Very true.” He then literally threw the cat amongst the pigeons, which had the Head Strategist seeing red with his next innocuous statement. “Colum informed me that you may have a situation at One that requires my attention.” “Is that so? What else has he informed you of … without our knowledge?” was her telling rejoinder. “The usual … a bit of this and a bit of that,” he replied in an elusive voice.  ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ It took all Madeline’s resole to bite her tongue at his evasive remark. Obviously, it was true then; Colum Mackenzie had been discussing Section One’s business. Section’s doyen was seething to think that Mr Lambert had been given Intel about them without their approval or prior knowledge. She needed to find out what Intel Colum had passed on and where they stood in regards to the Rising Dragons’ mission. It was obvious that damage control with Mr. Lambert may be crucial to offset any problems Oversight’s leader may have caused them or may cause them in fulfilling the mission and in capturing Sun Yee Lok. Madeline was forthright in her reply to Centre’s patriarch. “Please tell sir … I am most interested to hear Colum’s stance on how Section One is conducting the Rising Dragons’ mission. What has he been telling you?”  The smile on her lips failed to reach her eyes and Mr. Lambert knew immediately that not all was right between Oversight and Section One. He gave Madeline a shrewd glance realising that Colum Mackenzie may indeed have been interfering in the mission for some personal one-upmanship.  He knew that Dougal and Colum didn’t always see eye to eye on certain things when he had called all the leaders together on other occasions. There certainly was hostility between the two combatants but it undoubtedly kept Section One and Oversight on their toes and made for better results all round on missions. However, judging by Madeline’s forced demeanour, he was aware that One was in the dark as far as Colum was concerned. Obviously there had been some discrepancies in regard to the Rising Dragons’ mission and he was extremely interested to see where each differed. But first things first … he would like to get Madeline’s opinion on his statement about Colum and go from there.  Leaning back in his chair he crossed his hands on the desk in front of him and asked, “So tell me … is the situation at One under control?” Madeline gave the appearance that his question was superfluous. “I don’t know what Colum Mackenzie has been saying, but the situation he is referring to was a storm in a teacup. It was nothing significant for him to have bothered you about.” This will be interesting, he thought. “Colum said you had a breach. Are you telling me he was wrong?” “Categorically,” was her succinct rejoinder. “There was never a breach.” Mr. Lambert rubbed his chin deep in thought. “I see … he seemed quite adamant though.” He looked at her closely to see if Madeline flinched at his words. She didn’t. “There was no breach in security sir … just a malfunction that was quickly rectified by our communications expert, Mr. Claudel to Operations’ and my satisfaction.” “That is good news indeed.” He tried to make light of the situation and with humour in his voice he stated, “Obviously Colum jumped the gun as usual.” “He tends to do that a lot if I’m not mistaken,” was Madeline’s tacit reply hoping that by doing so she would have planted a seed of doubt about the validity of anything Colum Mackenzie had said recently about the running of Section One, Jamie and Claire or the Rising Dragons’ mission for that matter. He ignored her telling barb and continued. “Tell me how your two recovering operatives are. They are on downtime I believe.” “Yes they are.” “Colum informs me that there is a cloud over their recovery and hence has instigated his own plans for Oversight to intervene to bring the Rising Dragons’ leader to heel should they not be fit to continue on the mission.” “Really? I don’t know why he would infer any such thing. I can assure you that both our two top operatives, James Fraser and Claire Beauchamp are doing exceptionally well and will be returning to Section One sooner rather than later to take up where they left off with capturing the Rising Dragons’ leader and his cohorts. Their rehabilitation has been quicker than anticipated within the two weeks allocated for their downtime.” “I see.” “Sir … You mentioned that Colum has initiated plans of his own. May I ask … what those plans are?” Madeline asked nonchalantly in inquisitiveness rather than interest. “Hmm … I believe he said he has an informant chasing up leads.” Piqued by his information Madeline asked out of curiosity, “And who might that be? It wouldn’t be John Grey by any chance?” “Who?” “He freelances,” she replied to the intonation in his voice for more information. Mr. Lambert was happy with her explanation and replied accordingly. “No … Colum always uses an informant called Jurgen. They seem to have an excellent working relationship. Has Section One used his services too?” Madeline took note of Colum’s contact whom Operations had discounted in favour of Grey and for good reason obviously. “On occasion, but his reports were not always accurate, I’m afraid,” she added to infer that whatever he may have told Colum about the Rising Dragons or Sun Yee Lok may not be able to be verified. However, that was a telling piece on information they could use. John Grey could work to their advantage. Operations had made the right call. Madeline was confident that Colum’s informant was more removed from having direct data on the triad than would Grey, but it would be interesting to check him out just in case. Stopping information at the source could be arranged if needs be if Colum’s informant knew too much, she thought. Piqued by this update Madeline asked interestingly, “Has Jurgen managed to find any new Intel for Colum that we don’t know about?” However, before he could elaborate further, there was a knock on the door and Michelle entered with their refreshments. Once she had finished serving Mr. Lambert and Madeline their tea and snacks, she discretely left the two leaders to their discussion. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The last thing on her mind was partaking in the refreshments left for them by Mr Lambert’s Personal Assistant, but nevertheless she did so with civility. However, at the back of her mind she wanted to know if Colum had any new Intel from Jurgen that Section One could intercept and use. She also wondered how much Mr. Lambert really knew about the Rising Dragons’ mission and realised that this was her chance to convey to him the truth of the matter.  “As you were saying sir before we were interrupted,” Madeline stated nonchalantly sipping her tea but wanting to know exactly what it was that Colum knew about the Rising Dragons that they might not. “Ah, yes. Colum did say he had some dossiers on Jamie and Claire and their successes so far in the mission.”

Madeline glanced at Mr. Lambert. “That’s interesting. I wonder why he would need to keep files on our two top operatives?”

However, the Head of Centre was not at liberty to tell her the real reason why Colum Mackenzie was doing what he had asked of him, and instead gave her a plausible reply.

“I would assume he is interested in their strategic and execution procedures as an example to his own operatives. James Fraser and Claire Beauchamp are your two best operatives are they not?  They are exemplary in what they do and Section One must be proud of their achievements thus far in fragmenting the triad.”

“Thank you, sir.  Dougal and I are very aware of the contribution they have made and when they were injured it was only right that they have some well-earned downtime to recuperate.”

“Yes indeed, they need to be in top physical and mental shape to continue what they started and complete the End Game. Mental acuity and physical prowess are crucial for all operatives.  They need to have their wits about them at all times on a dangerous mission.”

“Agreed.”

Then she cast doubt about Oversight’s leader’s objectives for his involvement in the Rising Dragons’ mission per se. “Please continue sir; I’m fascinated to know what else Colum has relayed to you about the Rising Dragons’ triad. Can you shed light on that?”

Mr Lambert was conscious of Madeline’s skepticism but continued nonetheless. “Only that he had Intel suggesting that Sun Yee Lok was laying low after several of his hierarchy had been eliminated and that the triad was obviously trying to regroup their losses.”

“That is old news sir,” was her candid response. “Jamie and Claire were instrumental in achieving that result. I’m sure if his informant had anything substantial about Sun Yee Lok, he would have passed it on.”

“I believe he did say that the triad leader may also have interests in the lucrative casino business in Macau.”

This indeed was new intel and knowing too well that Colum had not revealed his source or that he had relayed this information to Operations or herself. Section’s Head Strategist held a wry smile behind pursed lips when she heard this statement. “Is that conjecture or fact?” she asked enigmatically.

“I expect he will pass that Intel on to you at One to verify Madeline.”

“But of course, sir, Oversight always has Section One’s best interests at heart.”

The Head of all the Sections, looked at One’s second-in-command sensing some cynicism in her voice.

Madeline bit her lip to hold back the dry reaching in her mouth at her subsequent words. “Perhaps you would like Section to work in tandem with Oversight if you feel that is warranted sir.” “I see no reason for that. I’m sure Section has everything under control with the mission.”  “We do.” Spoken succinctly, her words only emphasised that Section One was indeed up to speed on all things pertaining to the Rising Dragons and their leader Sun Yee Lok.

She took another sip of her tea and in a laid-back manner added, “Perhaps a word from you to Colum would be justified then to assure him that we do indeed have things in hand.” “I can certainly do that Madeline. I was surprised by his admission to such an interest in the triad, but there is really no need for Oversight to be involved at this late stage when Section One has done all the ground work over these past months.” “Of course sir.” Placing her cup on the table beside her, Madeline then asked in an offhand manner. “Did Colum have anything else to report?”  Mr Lambert followed suit and placed his cup on his desk. “Only that like us all, he would like to see a conclusion to the whole Rising Dragons’ saga ASAP. I guess patience was never his strong virtue though Madeline … certainly not like yourself or Dougal for that matter.”  The irony of his reply was not lost on her but Madeline didn't respond to Mr. Lambert’s observation. Rather she managed to set the record straight as to what Section One was doing even if it contradicted with anything that Colum may have told him. “We have already profiled an end game mission for when Jamie and Claire return from their downtime.” Her words were in direct contrast to what Colum had told him. His suspicions of his actions and the reasons why he would do such a thing filled his head. Something was certainly amiss. Although Madeline was responsive to his answers something about her bearing was not quite right either. Was Colum indeed interfering and putting his nose where it wasn’t wanted in regards to the triad?  Or did he have additional motives other than the directive he had given him in regards to James Fraser and Claire Beauchamp?

He would need to speak sternly to Oversight’s leader to sort this out.  

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“So, their recuperation was successful?” “Very … In fact, Jamie and Claire are due back at Section shortly and will be returning to the Rising Dragons’ mission to complete what they started in capturing the leader of the triad Sun Yee Lok.” “I see.” Mr. Lambert looked at her intently with a glance that indicated that he wanted to know the truth. “Tell me Madeline. Has Colum been interfering in the running of this mission in any way?” However, her response was an enigma which left it for him to make up his mind about the situation. “I feel that is for you to decide Mr. Lambert. What I can say … is that Section One has always been 100% focused on the success in capturing Sun Yee Lok and the downfall of the Rising Dragons.” Mr. Lambert was enthralled by an obvious cat and mouse game between Section One and Oversight. Colum Mackenzie had his explicit orders but if he was in any way jeopardising these that would alert Madeline and Operations as to his reasons why then Colum would need to be reprimanded. He tried to pin point where he may have gone rogue and voiced his opinion to see if it was indeed true. He furrowed his brows before speaking.

“If Oversight becomes involved, the success of the mission is not guaranteed. Is that what you are indicating Madeline?” “You can judge for yourself which would be the better option sir … Oversight or Section One … but I believe so.” He sat back in his chair and folded his arms on the desk intrigued with her answer, then solicited her response to try to get to the bottom of this conundrum. “Why?”

“Section One knows the members of the triad extremely well and can move expeditiously in capturing Sun Yee Lok and his other hierarchy.” “I see … please continue.” “So far Jamie and Claire have been extremely successful in that. We also have a window of opportunity for the next phase in planning because the triad believes that they are dead. This will work to our advantage.”  “Point taken.” “Although Colum has some Intel on the triad and triad members, he may unwittingly jeopardise the success of the mission. We have prior knowledge and have invested much in bringing the triad to its knees. Do you think it wise that Oversight enter the fray now when Section has achieved so much? I think not.” “You have a convincing argument Madeline. I am not surprised by your passion for the success of the Rising Dragons’ mission and I see no reason why it should not continue. I will inform Colum of my decision.” “As you wish.” “Is there anything else that I can help you with?” Seizing her chance, Madeline stated, “There is one thing.” “Name it.” “Mr Claudel will be in need of more support in Systems when the Rising Dragons’ mission is in full swing. Perhaps Frank Wolverton-Randall could be transferred back to One from his substation to assist him.” “That’s a prudent move given that he has worked with Mr Claudel before.  I think we can arrange for him to return to Section. Request granted.”  “Thank you, sir.”  Mr. Lambert stood and made his way over to Madeline as she rose from the chair. “It has been a pleasure Madeline … but don’t let your next visit be so long in-between …” “No, I won’t.”  “… and if you need to reach me for anything concerning the Rising Dragons’ mission, I’ll be available over the red line,” he added in clarification. The underlying meaning of his words was telling leaving Madeline with the impression that he would take care of Colum Mackenzie and his meddling. “Thank you, Mr. Lambert.” ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ He watched Section’s doyen retreat from his office. However, her departure had resulted in many conflicting thoughts. Their conversation had left Mr Lambert with too many unanswered questions and the possibility that Colum may have been trying to pull the wool over his eyes in regards to his interest in the Rising Dragons’ mission and as an addendum, Operations and Madeline’s handling of it. He was not happy. Leaning over his solid, wood desk, he forcibly depressed the call button. The tone of his voice was intimidating.

“Michelle … get me Colum Mackenzie on the line!”

“Yes sir.”

Meanwhile at Oversight …

In next to no time the connection was made and Colum Mackenzie waited to hear why Centre’s Head was calling.  However, when he answered the call, he could tell that this call was not a social one.  

“Hello Colum.” “Mr. Lambert.” “I have just had a very interesting visit from Madeline.” “You did?” was his surprised reply wondering why Section’s strategist would be visiting Centre. “Yes. I was debriefed on the Rising Dragons’ mission and Section One’s continuance plans. They seem to have everything in hand. Would you care to comment?” Colum took heed of his leader’s voice tone, but particularly his words, wondering if Madeline had alerted him to anything underhand that she may suspect with his continued visits to Section One. The silence at the end of the phone was deafening before a stuttering voice replied, “N … n … no.” “I thought not. Then let’s allow them do their job without interference from Oversight. Madeline is suspicious of your motives in regards to Jamie and Claire. We cannot let them know our reasons for your observations on their two operatives.  You need to be more clandestine.  You’re getting careless Colum. I expect better. Do I make myself clear?”

He breathed a sigh of relief that his thoughts were not mentioned in regards to his visits. “My observations have been fruitful sir and you will be pleased with my summation about them.”

“You don’t have other reasons for visiting One so often do you Colum?  

However, he had spoken too soon. The inference in his leader’s tone was obvious and the cautionary message it contained was not lost on Colum about his frequent visits. However, he was sure that Mr. Lambert was totally oblivious to any other ulterior skulduggery that he’d initiated in planting a mole in his thirst for information about Letitia Chisholm.   He could not and would not elaborate on the suspicions he had about Dougal and Madeline’s actions in her disappearance. That was personal. He needed answers. Instead he replied, “Of course, Mr. Lambert.” “Good. I will hold you to your word. If you fail to adhere to my orders ...” There was a slight pause as Mr Lambert let his words sink in, “… I don’t need to elaborate as you know the consequences only too well Colum.” “Certainly. I understand completely.” “Excellent. Oh, there is one more thing. Mr Wolverton-Randall is to be transferred back to One from the substation to help Mr Claudel with communications.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

This was one piece of good news as far as Colum was concerned. He would have his mole under the noses of his nemesis Dougal and sanctioned by Mr. Lambert himself. Despite Madeline’s meeting with the Head of Centre, she was unaware that Frank Wolverton-Randall had already sent valuable Intel his way … now there was no telling what he might learn if Frank was at the heart of their modus operandi that he could use. It was a win–win for him to have inside information about Section One at his fingertips. Mr Lambert’s orders were no obstacle to his motives as far as One was concerned. He would just need to be more canny in what he was to say and do. With Frank Wolverton-Randall at the cold front of the mission profile he was in pole position to extract Intel that could help him achieve his ultimate goal despite the orders from his superior.  Having Frank at the cold face he could seek his help in locating any intel and in finding collusion between his brother Dougal and Section One’s founder and his lost love Letitia.

“That is a good plan sir, as I believe that Mr Wolverton-Randall is familiar with how One operates given his time there before. I’m sure Mr Claudel will welcome his appointment to assist him in whatever capacity.” ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“Good … Now tell me how are things at Oversight …?”  “Of course.  As you wish Mr. Lambert.

 ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ to be continued Friday 11th September

[theanimeview]

Beware of the Brothers! - The Twins That Aren’t Twins Analysis

I recently read some of the comic Beware of the Brothers! (그 오빠들을 조심해!) and my eyes were drawn to the clothes and what they could mean. I was really interested in the two youngest Ernst children, Hari--the adopted daughter--and Eric--the twin without a twin. 

If you’ve read the story, you know that Hari was brought in, at first, as a replacement for the daughter that the Ernst family lost. Quickly, Eugene puts an end to the “replacement” fantasy of his parents and luckily we never went through the common trope of Hari being miss-named, which would have undoubtedly been more traumatic for everyone of the characters. Instead, the story progresses quickly, allowing Hari to adjust to her restarted life as the adopted child of a noble family. It also allows me to get to the point I want to make in this review of the fashion choices by the creator(s) of the series. 

Tell me, what do you think of when you see a pair in matching outfits? If the people look alike or are children, I generally think twins or siblings. I mean, I have two nieces that are a little more than a year a part who are always dressed the same by their mother. It’s a thing. And, as a middle schooler I regularly found myself “twinning” with my besties. As an adult, especially consider the media I consume, I noticed couples wearing matching and complimentary outfits--a topic I believe I have mentioned before but will mention again here. 

Matching outfits and complementary outfits are my favorite in any visual media. I particularly love matching outfits in comics since it usually symbolizes one of two things--love interests and or a mental connection with another person. You see it often in uniforms or coupled outfits, and when the pairing or unit is in distress, the first thing that is usually replaced, thrown out, or lost is that matching element. 

Which is why I am fascinated by Hari and Eric in Beware of the Brothers!. 

The two youngest siblings are not twins even though they really do look like it in many regards. We know that Hari is almost a spitting image of the late Ernest daughter, save for her eyes, based on other images, but still they have no blood relationship with each other as far as we, the audience, know and as far as they, the siblings, know. The Ernest couple never mention a lost cousin, a bastard child, or anything else, so in all regards Hari really is randomly a spitting image of their late blood relation and yet not one. This is actually a major point of strife among the four siblings (three blood related boys and Hari) in the beginning, ESPECIALLY for Eric who lost his twin. 

Eric and Hari, therefore, do NOT get along in the beginning. Arguably, it takes these two the longest to come to terms with each other over all. In fact, Hari admits to them being down right violent with each other at first--with the two going so far as to kick, trip, and push each other. Additionally, we see that  being compared or thought of as twins is really strikingly hard on Eric when the one time it does happen in the series, he runs away:

But it’s hard not to see them as such when you look at how they are dressed and behave as the work continues. 

Early in the series, they always wore different clothes, example:

Hari has a pink and grey color scheme in the image above, while Eric is wearing blues and white. The costumes aren’t complementary colors, they don’t match and they’re obviously different designs even in chibi style. 

But in the moment they are compared as twins, they look like this: 

Their colors are in the same family and the the designs are similar--more so than when compared to any of the other siblings--and, they’re both missing front teeth in this scene. They were dressed like twins in that moment. Definitely with a variation of color, but ultimately very close. 

Then we see the pattern repeated once they grow up. 

For example, here they are as teens: 

And again:

Even in later scenes as children:

Did you notice the pattern? 

The two are wearing clothes in similar color families. Eric and Hari wear matching patterns, with Eric having a darker corresponding color to Hari’s pastels in most shots. Even in the last image where they stand as children saying goodbye to the Vestia family, Hari and Eric are the only ones in a blue color scheme from their household. If she wears light blue, he wears dark. Her dress has pink flowers on a blue-grey background, Eric wears a dark blue grey coat with a darker pink ascot. Finally, in the image directly above, Eric is wearing a lavender-blue in between the two lavender-blues of Hari’s outfit. 

They match.

We see this style of matching/complimentary color schemes with the Vestia children too:

The off-whites of the two siblings are the same, the blacks are the same shades and both on their legs, the grey toned vest (boy) and dress (girl) are similarly tinted from the same purple-pinkish family. 

It actually feels very telling in this scene that Hari is closer to the two blue-haired siblings than her three brothers as Hari’s pinks match well/complement the purple-pink tinted grays seen on the Vestia siblings (more so than with Cabel’s blues and browns or the other boys):

What could this mean?

Are Hari and Eric meant to be shipped based on their outfits? I vote NO (strongly). Instead, I believe it suggest a kinship that they share which becomes stronger than with the other brothers. 

Perhaps the two are “astral twins,” born at the same time but to different parents or perhaps they simply represent a gemini set of paradoxes or conflicting ideas--at least, that would be my theory. 

They are twins who aren’t twins and they both, whether they want to admit it or not, have a strong connection that comes across in Chapter 36 as we find the two awake in the middle of the night talking where Eric asks Hari whether she likes Johan or not. It shows their differing opinions on the subject of discussing likes/dislikes and, even though they aren’t in matching outfits, it’s pretty clear that more and more they have a strong mental connection that doesn’t feel inncestrious or sexual. 

I really hope that the creator develops more on this, preferably not leading (as the cover image at the top seems to imply) to a harem of brothers. I think a found-family story is much better served when Johan is such a capable romantic lead. 

But what are you all thinking? How do you feel about the twins that aren’t twins idea? Let me know!

[random-blfan]

Alsar 65: I'm Holding my Stomach

"Then, is this design okay?" (It’s a bit more like “Can you do this design?” )

"Oh, leave it to me! I'd like to change some things, so please drop by sometime."

The carpenter who was introduced by Ally-san seems to be a designer too, and when he told us what he wanted, he took notes and asked questions such as "What do you want to do here?" And "How many children's rooms do you want?" In regard to the arrangement of the rooms.

Thanks to that, I had lunch on the way, but today the rough floor plan was decided and we were also able to finish the draft up to the last detail.

"Then please!"

"Thank you"

"We’ll be back in a couple of days." 

The carpenter sent us off and we left the store.

Now Fer-san is holding my left hand and Chris-san and Sig-san walk behind us while talking.

I’ve been thinking, when did it become a rule to always hold hands with at least one person?

They normally hold my hand and I don’t say anything and there’s no opportunity to refuse, well it's not like I hate it so it’s fine but…

"I didn't expect that it would take this long. It's already evening, so let's go home,okay?"

"Yes, but are children’s rooms that necessary ...?"

As I walked home, I looked up and listened to Fer-san, who said with a smiling face.

Children's rooms, 5 rooms ...

Me bearing that many children! ?? Is what I thought, though I was told that wasn’t a problem.

In the first place, it feels strange to talk about children even though we really haven’t talked about it in depth...

"Well, even if you don't give birth to that many,a storeroom would be useful, right? If you give birth to five children, we’ll be able to raise them, so don't worry?"

"Hmm ... that's right ... and the servant's room ..."

I was told it would be a good idea for there to be an extra room, and it was incorporated into the floor plan.

"Ren-chan isn't going to quit being an adventurer, right? Then you have to have a room for the person who will take care of the kids while you're away? It's essential for an adventurer with all your companions, so even if it’s small it’s necessary "

"Well, I understand that but ... I didn’t grow up in that kind of environment, so it feels strange ..."

I’ve been through a lot to become an adventurer, so I want to continue after getting married, I was told that if I couldn’t look after my child then there should be a room for a babysitter. I feel torn.

When I heard that, I thought I should quit being an adventurer for a while, but as a support magician who can support three people, I should be able to reduce the risk of injury and death by doing subjugations together, so I want to continue. So I agreed to make a servant room.

Malik would think! I don't feel like saying that …( I really didn’t get this one not even when my friend explained to me, but Ren is worried about Malik’s opinion on the matter it seems)

"Oh, I will move to that house two days after tomorrow, but I have some furniture, so I wonder if I can leave it as it is? I still don't know if it will fit the new house even if I buy some."

"Ah, but why not just renew the bed in the master bedroom? I think the bed there is too small for us and Ren-kun."

"When you say that, it's certainly impossible for four people. Okay, let’s go to the furniture store tomorrow?"

"It should be as big as possible, right?"

When the three of them talk, it becomes a conversation above me and it is difficult to get into it, so I usually just listen to it.

If there is no particular problem, I won’t try to interrupt them

Besides, they talk to me properly, and even now, Fer-san's is still holding my hand, so I don't feel like I'm out of the group, and it's fun to see the three of them having fun.

"Oh, I can see Malik's house. Today I have to give Ren-kun back to Malik."

"Is Malik already at home?"

"Well ... today his shift should end by evening, so I think it's about time for him to come back."

Yeah, I’m sure.

I have a table with his shifts because the shift changes every month, but I can't confirm it because I keep it at home.

"Let's say hello. He let you stay yesterday ..."

"Really? You think it wasn’t a problem letting cute Ren stay with you?" 

"Fugu !?"

"Wow !? Malik-san!? Sig-san is falling! Please let go!"

I think it happened while Sig-san said that, pointing at the house, from behind, a hand extended to Sig-san's solid neck and wrapped around it as if squeezing.

I didn't notice him, but it seems that Malik-san is strangling Sig-san with all his might.

I ask him to let go immediately! 

"Oh, I can't help it if it’s Ren's request. Fine."

"Goho ... haha ​​... Mari ... ku-san ..."

"Sig-san, are you okay !? Doesn’t your neck hurt? If it hurts should I use 「Heal」? "

Malik-san relaxed his grip and released Sig-san with a look that as if he couldn't help it.

I hurriedly approached Sig-san who was coughing violently while kneeling in place.He shook his head so it seems there’s no pain.

"It's okay. I wouldn't be as careless as to hurt him .... Anyway, you guys come in, also there’s something I need to say to Chris, okay?" 

Malik-san, who is quietly angry and looks unpleasantly sullen, says to the three of them, but why does he want to talk to Chris-san?

But ... before that ...!

"Malik-san? Please apologize to Sig-san? It may have been bad to stay without permission, but it's terrible to go for his vulnerable neck from behind, understand?" 

"Ah…"

It was fine because Sig-san has training, but an ordinary person would have been strangled in the blink of an eye,  why did he strangle him anyway!

When I got angry with that in mind, my pout turned into a troubled expression, and I was scratching my head. ( My friend told me that while the “scratching my head” here can literally just be that it’s also used when someone is embarrassed or suffering) 

"If you don't apologize, I won't make lunch for a while!"

"What!? ... I'm sorry."

"No…" (This no is more like “it’s fine...”) 

This is the only way I can express my anger, so when I declared that, Malik-san made a terribly surprised face and immediately apologized.  I reach my hand out to Sig-san who is crouching to help him stand up. (しゃがみ込む = to squat; to crouch down completely  generally with face looking through knees)

It seems he really said  "I look forward to Ren’s bento everyday" before.

"Hmm ... I'm home for now let’s go in ..."

Malik goes into the house while sighing so those three follow suit.

"Well, sit down"

As we enter the living room, we are asked to sit on the rug, so we do so obediently.

"Malik-san, yesterday I suddenly stayed somewhere else, I’m sorry ... were you angry because of that ...?"

"Ah ... well, Ren is an adult too? So it 's fine. The problem is Chris. If you want to contact me, please contact me directly.Because I wasn’t there at that time I was ridiculed as I had to rely on Hugo to pass the message !? " 

"Eh…?"

He isn’t angry because of the overnight stay?

Eh, Chris-san, didn’t you contact him directly! ??

Thinking so, I look at Chris-san who is sitting next to me looking at Malik-san as if nothing happened. 

"Eh ~? Malik wasn't there, but if you got home, wouldn't you be surprised if Ren wasn't there, I thought you would worry, so I asked them to pass on the message ~? Are you angry? "

It doesn't sound like Chris-san's way of speaking ...

Well, if he  wasn't there at that time, it can’t be helped but ... What does he mean by ridicule?

"... Ku. That's right. You're not in the wrong. The problem is Hugo."

"Right?"

"I don't care about perfection ...?  ...? He didn’t deserve to be strangled ..." 

It seems that Malik-san admitted that Chris wasn't in the wrong,  dropping his shoulders.

And poor Sig-san (愁傷様です=しゅうしょう = shuushou, my friend explained to me that this expression is used to when someone dies or the situation is just to pitiful)

"Hmm ... I can make tea. Malik-san hasn't eaten yet, right? I'll make something, so you three eat too and then please go home."

"Oh, yes"

Apparently that was all, so I decided to make dinner after brewing tea.

There should be various ingredients in the refrigerator, so I wonder if I should look inside and decide on the menu.

"Yes. Today is a simple grated pork rice bowl, miso soup, and salad."

"" "Itadakimasu" ""

Everyone seemed to like what I made and ate quickly.

The grated pork bowl is made by dropping daikon radish on top of boiled and sliced meat then adding seasonings such as soy sauce and lemon juice. It's a solid but refreshing taste, so it's perfect for hot summers. When I was in Japan, I used to make it in the summer.

"As expected, Ren's food is delicious .... Oh, that's right. You guys, do you intend to not take quests for a while? "

"It's really delicious, isn't it? I intend to accept something once I've moved to my temporary residence ..." 

Malik-san, who was eating ravenously, says as he remembered.

The three of them said we’d look for a house and wouldn’t take quests for a week.

I wonder… if there’s something good to accept.

However, since I became B rank, it is one rank up and down.

In other words, it seems that you can only receive quests from A rank to C rank,I can't take the F rank Lulu leaf collection quest anymore. 

"That’s good then, some quests arrived that only you can take, 3 solo quests and one for a party, If you can, why don't you take them? "

"We still have a month before we go to the royal capital .... I'll decide after returning to the guild and checking the contents of the quest. Can Ren do the party quest too?" 

"Ah, yes"

Sig-san  answers, mhh but a party quest...

What is it like?

Are solo quests impossible for me

I’ll have to go to the guild and take a look tomorrow...

The three returned to the guild after getting permission to stay when Malik-san isn’t at night.

TN: Poor Sig...

Ahh It's here ＼(￣▽￣)／ I actually finished translating  yesterday at like 5 AM (Because who needs sleep… ) but I was waiting for my friend to reply to my messages and it’s hard because of the time difference.  

The previous translator liked to put food pictures whenever Ren cooked and as a foodie and someone who loves cooking, I really liked that so I decided to do it too!

I hope you liked it, I really like translating and it is fun also I learn so many new things. 

Take care and if you see typos, grammar errors or whatever feel free to tell me, I want to do my best but English isn’t my first language and I’m still learning japanese. 

[prongsisabadger]

TWP Chapter 21

A shuttle took us to the Negotiator once we dropped the 501st and Master Skywalker off on their ship. A report had been given to the Jedi Council already. Eleven dead, several wounded. The price for an arrogant politician's actions. I had made it a point to stay silent the entire time, coming to terms with my feelings regarding the entire situation. My disdain for Chairman Cho, my indifference for his death, my inability to set it all aside and try to come to a peaceful solution.

I had failed as a Jedi, and yet it didn't feel like it. The silent, but powerful gratitude I felt in the clones when I visited the med bay made it all worth it. In the corridors, the 501st said nothing, but every clone I walked past either saluted me or patted my shoulder. There was no need for more. But in the back of my mind, I knew my behavior had not been that of a Jedi. The real question was: was that really wrong?

All of this I considered in silence, I had to sort my emotions on my own before I asked Master Kenobi the important questions. I needed to know the source of my hatred for Cho -other than the obvious-, the reason behind my protectiveness of the clones and my attachment to them. I needed to figure out if I was truly capable of feeling all of this but not let it dictate my actions. Was I capable of accepting the death of those around me and not let my grief turn into hatred? Was I capable of processing it all and letting it go? If I was in a situation where I couldn't really take my time to process it all, how would I react?

Master Kenobi decided not to comment on my silence, at least not until we were on board the Negotiator. He had probably felt my struggle and decided to give me some time to sort it all out. Master Kenobi, I'd realized, was the type of Master to be quietly supportive. He would give you time to figure things out on your own and only interfere if things felt like they were getting out of hand. He was the kind of person who knows when to shut up and when to interfere.

Unlike Master Plo, who decided to simply wait until I came to him with my concerns because he knew I trusted him enough to do so, and he trusted me to figure things out on my own in turn. I guess it was because of the nature of each master. Kenobi might have been a good negotiator, but at the end of the day he was a Guardian, always would be. There was no way he would stand idly by when he felt turmoil within his Padawan.

"You've been awfully quiet since we left orbit." He was trying to be casual about it, asking only when the only people around were a few maintenance droids and the hangar crew. "Don't get me wrong, it is nice to have a Padawan who can stay still for a change, but the Force does not lie, Kriari. What's on your mind?"

I smiled, I'd have to ask him about that some other time.

"I don't know if Master Plo ever told you, but I'm not good with emotions -feeling them that is." I started "I'm more mentally oriented and feelings confuse me a lot. I'm trying to sort mine out and understand them. That way, if I know how I respond emotionally to certain situations, I can know what to expect of myself in the future. It makes not giving into them a bit easier."

This seemed to amuse Obi-Wan.

"Emotions are very volatile, and they are meant to be felt, not thought, young one. Analysing them will only get you so far."

We started to make our way out of the hangar and towards the elevators, we had to meet with Commander Cody for debriefing and status reports on the 212th.

"I know that, Master, but it doesn't hurt to try. It's also an excuse to reevaluate my relationships with the people around me. I might not have acted on impulse in Orto Plutonia, but I did let my feelings get the best of me. Charman Cho-"

"You did nothing wrong in Orto Plutonia, Kriari. The Chairman was a test on the resolve of all of us present. Not acting on your emotions does not mean you don't get to feel them. You are entitled to your own opinion on the man and his actions. The Force knows it was a test for all three of us to keep it together." He said as the doors to the upper level opened. "You forget you are a Padawan, this is the time for you to make mistakes and learn from them, don't be so hard on yourself."

It was at times like these that I realized just how lucky I had been when I'd been assigned both my masters. They were understanding and compassionate, but they knew where to draw the line. Master Kenobi, as a Guardian, often took a more direct approach to every situation, while Master Plo was willing to wait and let things pan out before acting. It was a good thing that I was Padawan to both. One appealed to my rational side, and the other to my intuition, but both of them knew where my priorities lied and respected that.

Cody was waiting for us at the bridge, but the Force around him wasn't calm and collected as usual, something had happened. If I'd felt it, then Master Kenobi had too, but when I looked at him all I saw was his unmoveable exterior. To me, Master Plo felt safe because he was a comforting presence, someone who would validate your fears but guide you through them. Master Kenobi -on the other hand- felt safe because he was strong, supporting, immovable like a pillar holding the ceiling above your head even in the face of an earthquake.

"You have news for us, I gather, Cody." Said my Master.

"I do, Sir," started the commander before turning on a holo map on the tactical table. "We have received a transmission from Naboo. Senator Amidala has found a Separatist lab within the system and has requested Jedi intervention."

What was the saying, again? No rest for the wicked?

...

I adjusted my new armour as I exited my quarters aboard the Negotiator. After the other set had been all but melted off my back, Master Kenobi put a few of his men to work on a new one. This one still had the original gray design of the Pack on the left arm, but the right one now sported a straight yellow line that ran from my shoulder to my wrist. The chest piece had been left its original white, and the symbol of the Jedi order had been moved to where my heart was. When I asked about it, Master Kenobi shot a side glance at Cody and grinned. The Clone Commander blushed lightly. It was so that I could blend in easier in the 212th -he said- scratching nervously at the back of his head. It was heartwarming, the fact that -even after working together for a short while- Cody was still welcoming me into the battalion as if I'd been there the entire time.

Clone loyalty was something that had baffled me from the very beginning. Even during the first assault on Geognosis, the clones had welcomed me in as one of their own, and even after that, some of them remained my closest friends. Art, Twitch, Boost, Wolffe, and even Headfirst had shown their loyalty time and time again. Not only by saving my life and having my back, but also by showing me they cared.

Wolffe tried to keep me safe at every turn, he monitored me closer than anyone else and made sure I was level headed in the field. Art made sure not to pry every time I sat down to get tattooed. He knew the weight of those names, he never asked how many names I had left, or if I was planning to stop at some point. He made sure each stroke was precise so it didn't need going over. He never asked if I was tired of it or if I didn't think I had too many already. Twitch made sure to check on my mental health even when he wasn't assigned to watch me, he would recommend books or bands or holo shows to keep my mind entertained and away from the battlefield. Headfirst made sure to spar with me every time one of us had the time, and he insisted it was so that I wouldn't lose my touch.

And the men of the 212th were starting to warm up to me quickly too. Their loyalty to their General extended to me as well, so it took little convincing for them to acknowledge me as a part of their battalion.

They had all proved to me time and time again that they would be risking their lives for me as much as I'd been doing for them, not because it was their duty, but because they wanted to keep me alive.

I double checked that I had both my lightsaber and my Kel Dor mask before finally stepping into the hangar. I decided that -since we were going to infiltrate a laboratory- it was in my best interest to have something to help filter the air around me. I did not put it past the separatists to use biological warfare when it would clearly give their droid forces an advantage over an army of life forms. Even if blowing up the entire facility would only compromise Naboo instead of the dozens of systems they were aiming for.

After receiving further information from Naboo, Masters Kenobi and Skywalker decided that a smaller taskforce was probably better in close quarters. Master Kenobi and I would be taking a single squad made up of two teams of four. The bomb diffusing team would go in with General Kenobi, and the assault team would come with me. Master Skywalker and Ahsoka would be doing the same. The aim was to capture the lab, its resident chemist and rescue both Senator Amidala and Representative Binks without setting off any of the bombs that contained an airborne version of the Blue Shadow virus. It was a delicate operation, and the stakes were higher than ever.

My master and the rest of the squad were waiting for me aboard the LAAT/i that would take us to the surface where we would have one last briefing before storming the facility. The men were doing last minute checks on their armour integrity and weapons function as the pilot closed the blast doors and carefully started the taking off sequence. In my head I went over the plan once again and did a mental checklist on everything I had on me. Mask, check; lightsaber, check; armour, check; names of the team…

I realized I had never worked closely with any of the 212th before, and there had been no time for introductions right then, rescue missions needed to be quick. I introduced myself to the four troopers that would be working with me. Waxer, Boil, T.H. and Ginger introduced themselves in turn. they had heard a lot about me from Rex, they said. Which only made me dread what the Captain might have told them. I hoped nothing about my tendency to catch fire.

But there was no time for that now. We arrived at Theed in no time, and there was a meeting to attend. The plan was simple: Ahsoka and I would be leading our teams through one of the lab's entrances and creating a distraction so that our Masters could disarm the bombs and rescue the hostages. I was confident we could make it with minimal casualties. And even if ours was the most action packed mission, I would rather face droids than try and diffuse bombs before the virus killed us all.

As it turns out, it didn't really matter what I wanted. In war, if something could go wrong, it would. And this mission was no exception.