#embrace the cringe but i did my best with that fanart

[dropthedemiurge]

i came here specifically to compliment your character designs on the reddit x tumblr post (the tumblr blue hair! of course!) and snoop around for more art & any commentary on your process. you've got a great eye for composition, poses, and colors. keep doing the thing 💜

Awww, that is very sweet! Thank you for a lot of warm words^^ Please, feel free to snoop around, I draw some stuff here and there and I have few upcoming projects. For the commentary on the reddit x tumblr art: I thought that would be very fun, and about references (I can collect them all in this post, if you may) - TARDIS poster on the wall, obviously, from Doctor Who (initially it was poster with Sherlock and John but I thought their face would be too distracting from the art xD). - Samulet and a cosmic wing: Supernatural - A bit of tobacco pipe: a little ref I squeezed from Sherlock instead of the poster last minute - Bad Wolf: Doctor Who. Broken heart is to commemorate all the hearts broken and tears shed after some famous episodes xD - Nong Nao doll! (that many people were surprised to see) is from fantastic Thailand BL series called Bad Buddy. 10/10 would recommend watching. - 42 is the 'the ultimate answer to the universe' reference, don't ask me why but i associate Reddit with IT coding, crazy theories/discussions, AITA and furry forums and, you know, he could be spotting a tail once in a while along with his antenna, but just referencing to cool sci-fi stories felt more tangible to me xD - Thorn tattoos because I love them and they look 'cool bro' - Shoelaces hanging on the lamp stolen from you-know-who. - Huge horse aka both plinko horse and that huge lamp - Of course, none pizza with left beef ready on the table - Two glasses of wine? champagne? Tumblr was trying to force roommate Twitter to do the Good Omens scene rendition but eventually got to do it with Reddit in my next sketches xD) - Ace cake, rainbow and ^_^ anime pins! - color friendship bracelets because Tumblr is still stuck in years ago and doesn't like to throw away little things with memories - PRIDEMONTH shirt, because of course, how could I not I think that's about all the references that I put in my silly little drawing :D You asked me about commentary yourself, hehe.

[ryemackerel]

YAM!!! YAM MY BOY MY LOVELY BOY a moth friend who loves moss and is an absolute hermit. he will stay in his house all day with his tiny creature friends and tend to his plants. this boy does not talk a lot but hes very friendly

second image has the flat colors without the effects in case people want to color pick and use it for fanart of yam :)

he started out as a character i made from a friend’s smp and slowly started fleshing out into a cooler character :D he’s basically become my silly persona and character i roleplay as all the time in minecraft. embrace cringe giys 🫶

included some art made by my friends :] i couldn’t fit everything on because the canvas would be too cramped, but i did my best to fit most in.

[frostbite-the-bat]

no but genuinely. i love shadow filbo dearly. he means a lot to me.

he marks a time for me where i began embracing what i like just... for the sake of it!

he embodies the things that inspired me to draw online in the first place. hell, sparklecat characters with bangs have made me stop cutting my hair. i haven't cut my hair properly since. just because i wanted the same bangs, not knowing how hair works. now i have what is best described as messy fluttershy hair. to many people just how long my hair is, is what defines me when they see me and my hair is in a way special to me.

and again - he was what inspired me to draw. in class i'd be drawing my own sparklecats at the age of like 8, with bangs and wings and little companions that sit on clouds that rain hearts. (and bolts and skulls when ANGRY!)

i put rainbows on everything. i thought nyan cat was the embodiment of everything good in the world. i listened to nightcore versions of songs only. i say, as i am listening to nightcore, right now.

because of all these old classic animation memes and sparklefurs and silly scene and emo song flash animations i'd find... i'd pick up ms paint and draw. i imagined just how i'd animate, finding even the simplest methods absolutely mesmerising. there is something to be said about me being this young with internet access - because it very much so had it's negative effects. not me watching fetish videos at the age of 8 just because it had pokemon in it. yea that did not have any lasting effects.

but despite all this shit - it raised me! and even just a few years later... like.. 2015 when i began posting online on deviantart for the first time, not being just a lurker... learning how The Computer works better - not only drawing on paper anymore and gaining more and more interest towards digital art... i was already nostalgic towards these earlier days. but still living IN it, y'know?

just having fun, doing my own thing! isn't that what art is all about?

well. then the cringe culture nation attacked. severe bullying at school. and in general, just shame - which i am still fighting in certain aspects. but it's a bit more complicated than just "shame". (more so fear of Things.)

i'd look back at things with either genuine "cringe" or a distaste. how DARE these people have fun? because deep down, i was simply jealous.

if i was going to reference anything old like this, like classic animation memes, it was framed as "JOKE" "NOT SERIOUS" because i feared i would be harassed, made fun of, or people would thing THAT is the best of my artistic abilities. but... it's not like that.

and now, more and more people are embracing this. and it makes me so happy. and shadow filbo helped me fight off these fears a lot and just let me love what i love and be myself.

maybe it's not an ""aesthetic"" that completely defines me, maybe it IS a tik tok trend to do nowadays - but i don't care. without any of this i wouldn't be here. those were my first inspirations. silly colorful cats animated to crunchy mp3s of songs using movie maker and 3 (three!) frames drawn in ms paint. it had so much charm. it had so much genuinity. and i could feel it even back then.

without it i might've not been here as i am now. there are so many things that go into this, of course. but i simply would not be the exact way i am. and i dunno. that's something to think about.

thank you so much, shadow filbo. one "mistake" with you i've had was thinking i should be a good creator of something and respond to every fan and fanart, which only stressed me out. i have... opinions! about being recognized in various places and, as some dub, a "NICHE INTERNET MICROCELEBRITY" (nothing against you fox </3).... yeah! not a fan.

another mistake was dubbing him as a "joke" always. and... he is! he is humorous! i am a jokey person! i like crunchy shitposts! i like being the reason people laugh! i will go to certain levels to even ridicule myself just for the bit, and i don't mind it. i'm hyper(active) and i am just a jokey person, that's that. but... him being called a joke was honestly just a shield from people taking him too seriously.

if people were to mock me for being nostalgic for nightcore, and rainbows, and edgy amvs, sparkledogs, scene culture and clothes, rave songs... all this!

but... no! people loved it! people loved it so much, it moved THEM to create art!

me, referencing things that made ME inspired to draw all those years ago - then inspired OTHERS to draw other things. to embrace themselves. to have fun. to connect.

it means so much to me. it's a bit odd to comprehend, too.

but it means the world to me. sorry if i am ever annoying about shadow filbo, and is often the first thing i bring up when bugsnax is brought up - but he is the highlight of my experience with bugsnax.

thank you so much, shadow filbo. and me and my wretched little claws, of course. for making them. and those that inspired me. those old friends i lost along the way, too. and those, that inspired those that inspired me. and so forth.

thank you.

[carcharadroid]

Recovering from having been at one point “Tumblr famous” is weird.

Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t properly “Tumblr famous”. I wasn’t someone with generic enough appeal to garner enough followers for that. Didn’t really want to be either, I wasn’t trying to be. But I was undoubtedly famous in a niche. That niche being Wreck-it Ralph RP, of all things, back when the movie had only just come out and Tumblr was in its askblog/RP peak.

So, you know (which you might if you’ve been following me for long enough), I made a character! Made an askblog that over time became more of an RP blog. I got involved with other talented and popular RPers on the scene. By the time everything was said and over, I was just shy of 1,000 followers on my silly little niche fandom ask/RP blog.

I got fanart! Fanart from whole ass entire strangers. A lot of them weren’t even roleplayers themselves, they just followed along because they were invested in the story that was unfolding around my edgy little murder twink and the increasingly awful situations and people he surrounded himself with.

But, time wore on, and the fandom faded. Of course. But it was damn close to...7? 8 years? before the RP stopped. The fandom was dead but that just meant crossover was embraced and the fun kept on rolling for a good long time. But everything comes to an end, and between Tumblr shitting the bed by banning NSFW (which gutted pretty much every RP community, not overnight but sure close to it) and the natural inevitability of interests diverging, it basically ended and everyone moved on.

But having that kind of an audience for that long is one hell of a terrifying high, and the crash afterwards is humbling at best and absolutely damaging at worst. Somewhere along the line I realized that I stopped knowing how to create purely for myself and my own enjoyment. I told myself that was what I was doing from the outset (and it was true in the sense that I didn’t axe parts of the story to please people who didn’t like the shit I did), but the sting I felt from getting fewer and fewer and fewer notes as outside interest waned long before inside interest did still hurt.

It made me feel gross and egotistical, which didn’t help. I spent a long time beating myself up about it. Which, you know, also didn’t help.

I dunno. This is all some self-pitying bullshit and reading it back is making me cringe, but fuck it. Maybe this’ll help someone somewhere who’s going through anything even remotely similar. Being shocked with an audience you never expected, getting used to it, and then losing it has a way of making you wonder why the hell you bother to pick up a pen. I think that’s normal. I’ve heard similar stories. Seen them unfold, too. It happens a lot. My story isn’t special in that sense.

I still don’t have my muse back. Not quite. The past while has been a whole lot of me doing my best to retrain myself to create for myself before anyone else. Unrelated, real-life stress is making it slow going, but it’s still going and that’s what’s important. I’ve done small scribbles and sketches, all for myself, and it feels good to do that again. I’m just going to keep on doing that. Sooner or later, I’ll be back where I was before I accidentally caught that lightning in a bottle. And if I ever manage to do it for a second time, hopefully I’ll be more prepared to deal with the inevitable aftermath.

[undervaluedagent]

Queen for the Ask game :)

Sexuality Headcanon: Bi w/o preference

OTP: QueenKaard (and also Queen x my self insert because embrace cringe amirite). I'd go on a ramble about this but I'm too tired.

BROTP: *inhales* Queen and King, Queen and Swatch, Queen and the SCC, Queen and Kris, Queen and Lancer...if you know of fic for anything I listed send it my way, if you know of fic for anything I didn't list but it still a platonic relationship that involves Queen, send it my way.

NOTP: SpamQueen. just gives me the ick, there's really nothing there except one-sided murderous hatred and (grossly expressed) sexual attraction, and while I love a good enemies to lovers or enemies AND lovers, this ain't it. Too one-sided and just gross.

First headcanon that pops into my head: This wasn't the first one to pop into my head technically. but Queen is a kitchen HAZARD, if you ask her to make a cup of ramen it will explode.

Favorite line from this character: I'm gonna list multiple. "I Just Want To Make Everyone Smile. And If I Become An Evil Villain To Accomplish That, Is That Bad?" I love her so much she has all the best intentions. "You Cannot Calculate Other People's Feelings" that line is just really relatable to me since that's basically what I have to do since. Autism. And lastly, this is an honorable mention, "I Did Not Know You Had...Nipples", because on a regular basis I see fanart for a character (usually Spade King) that I desperately need to say that to.

One way in which I relate to this character: As implied above, we're both autistic. And we want to make people happy, but have no actual idea how.

Thing that gives me secondhand embarrassment about this character: Weirdly, I can't think of anything.

Cinnamon roll or problematic fave: Problematic fave in general, but in comparison to my other problematic fave (Spade King), more of a cinnamon roll.

[jamdoughnutmagician]

It’s almost 2023, so let’s celebrate the good things that happened to us in 2022! ✨ List ten amazing things that happened to you this year!

If you want, send this to other people who brighten your day to help them remember the good things they had this year!

---

Wishing you a lovely holiday, Claudia! :)

Aww thanks! I hope you had a great 2022! And I hope you have an even better 2023! 💖

Hmmm 10 things that happened to me this year???

I made the decision to go ginger waaaaay back in February and that was the best decision I ever made (in terms of hair at least! 😅)

I started being even more experimental with my makeup than I ever had before and it was a big step in boosting my self confidence!

Springboarding of the previous point, I've tried working on my self confidence and trying to not be so hard on myself (I still have bad days but there's definite progress that's been made!)

I started writing! Mostly short little bits of fanfic (of about 1,000 or so words?) and embraced the cringe of being someone who actively loves reading and writing reader inset fanfic! 😅

Saw lots of cool movies! In the cinema and from the comfort of my own home!

Also watched lots of cool TV shows too!

Got fitter! I had been exercising before, started in the summer of 2019, but I feel like 2022 was when I felt comfortable in my body! (Don't get me wrong, like I said, I still have bad days, where I struggle my body image but it's always a work in progress)

Made new friends!

Was hornier on main than I ever had been before! This blog used to be pretty clean, but now it seems horny hours are every other hour! 😅

Did some 'art', not that I'm an "artist" by any stretch of the imagination but some silly drawings of ocs and fanart still counts, right? 😅

[undertale-data]

[Image Description: An Undertale chat box that has “WHY FANS LOVE UNDERTALE” at its center. Next to it are a line chart and an Egg from the Dating Hub on its left, and a CRIME measurer (also from the Dating Hub) on its right. End I.D.]

[Image Description: a pie chart titled, “LEVEL OF LOVE FOR UNDERTALE.” The textbox on the top right reads, “On a scale of 1 to 10, 1 being the least and 10 being the highest, how much do fans enjoy Undertale?” From the top going clockwise, 12 or 0% chose 5 and below; 23 or 1% chose 6; 98, or 4%, chose 7; 325, or 12%, chose 8; 529, or 20%, chose 9; and 1664, or 63%, chose 10. End I.D.]

It’s clear from all of the data analyzed so far that fans who took the time to answer our survey love Undertale. It is unlikely that they would have taken the time to answer so many questions if they had not, and even less likely that they would have come across our survey in the first place. Naturally, it comes as no surprise that 63% of our responders gave their love for Undertale a score of ten out of ten. 95% gave their love for Undertale a score of eight or higher, and only 12 responders responded with five or below, a number so small that their responses had to be lumped together to be visible on the pie chart. Of those, only 3 responders gave their love for Undertale a score of 1, and based on those responders��� other answers, it is likely that they were only intending to troll. We are very fortunate that the vast majority of responders took the survey seriously, enough so that responses like this are barely a blip in the data.

Now, for our final analysis post of the event, we will delve into the reasons that fans love Undertale so dearly.

(Essay and highlights under the cut.)

There have been countless essays on the impact that Undertale has had on people’s lives. I can hardly add more on the subject than what has already been said, but I hope this summary can provide a brief overview of what stood out among the over two thousand answers given in response to this survey. That said, due to the sheer volume of answers, I could not read every single one in depth—however, I did skim all of them, and some that stood out or were representative of several responses have been highlighted below. If you would like to see what every fan who consented to share their response had to say, you may view the full list of responses here. Note that these responses have not been edited in any way. This document may take a long time to load, as it is over 100 pages long.

(Warnings for mentions of suicidal thoughts in the following essay.)

Several responders loved the theme of choices mattering in Undertale. Whether people played the pacifist, merciless, or neutral routes, they enjoyed how the game reacted to their actions. For some, it even made them consider their own morality. One touching response explained the impact that the theme of mercy made on them. “I realized that Mercy isn't something that's given to those who deserve it. Flowey didn't deserve it. I don't deserve it myself. Shoot, we ALL need Mercy in our lives.” Many fans left similar comments about how the themes of Undertale made them better people.

Undertale changed how its fans treat others, and it also changed how fans treat themselves. The theme of staying determined and the messages of hope in the game were a light to a very large portion of fans. I cannot list all of the fans who said that Undertale helped them out of a dark place, or that they would not be alive if not for Undertale. “DETERMINATION became a metaphor for not killing myself at a really rough time in my life and I’ll always cherish that. Undertale isn’t afraid to go to really dark places but at the same time holds on so tight to its hope.”

Undertale brought fans together in unexpected ways. Some said they met friends or significant others through the fandom. “I wouldn't have met my now husband without Undertale,” one fan said. A different fan who is non-native English speaking mentioned that the game and the fan community helped them to learn English.

It would be impossible to discuss Undertale without mentioning the fan community. Whether for good or bad, many responders mentioned the fandom in their responses. Overall the feelings towards the fandom seem positive, though many made references to “toxic” parts of the fandom without specifying which parts they consider toxic. Others rejected the idea of toxicity in fandom. One response said: “[SLAMS FIST ON DESK] I KNOW MOST PEOPLE SAY THE FANDOM IS TOXIC AND CRINGE OR WHATEVER BUT OH MY GOD. The Undertale fandom, both the UTMV and the actual UT fandom, has been so much fun to be a part of. I've met countless friends because of our shared interest in something related to the game! The art people create can be breathtaking and so inspirational, and the fanfics are so so good!! I've seen people write incredible things for this fandom and it's what made me continue writing!”

One thing that makes the Undertale fandom unique is the way it embraces various AUs. Some fans are tired of AU content, but the majority of responses show a love for the creativity behind AUs. “Roll your eyes at the 50th AU Sans all you want, it's encouraging people to step outside the boundaries of fanart and pushing people to make their own ideas! I mean, hell, it was how I gained the confidence to start making my own original content.” The lack of a judgemental atmosphere seems present in the AU community, according to the responses we saw. There is an interesting balance between AU and canon (sometimes referred to as “classic”) content that another responder pointed out: “The fandom helped keep the game alive all these years, with all of its AUs. Although personally, I always enjoyed AUs that kept characters as close to the classic material as possible (dancetale, outertale) I do appreciate the creativity of the fandom. They almost created entirely new stories with new characters of their own! If it weren't for those people, the Undertale fandom would have probably not been as active as it is now. I do feel like we're getting a resurgence of classic content now too! (In 2021)”

Regardless of the many AUs the fandom has created over the years, the original game of Undertale still feels like home for many fans. They wished they could reclaim the feeling of playing the game again for the first time, but even though we can’t reset time in real life, there is still a special feeling for fans each time they play Undertale. One fan said, “Even the best fics I've read can't capture that feeling of nostalgia/almost-"coming home" that comes with hearing the music and talking to the characters.” This feeling is one that can be cherished time and time again. In the words of another responder: “It always feels welcoming like home or like comfort food that I never grow tired of no matter how many times I go to it.” Others pointed out the strength of the found family trope in Undertale, which likely contributes to this feeling of “home” as well.

As mentioned briefly earlier, the music is part of what makes Undertale feel like home for fans. Even when responses focused on other aspects of the game, many would throw in a comment about the soundtrack at the end. One comment focused on the music said “IT'S SO GOOD like I will literally go through the entire thing over and over and not be bored with it. It makes my monkey brain so happy you have no idea.” Like with the game itself, the music has incredible replay value, an amazing feat considering most of the tracks use the same few motifs. “I think what I like the most about Undertale is how the music attaches you to the story,” another responder said. “They're simple melodies that stick with you throughout the whole game, and they can remind you of both good and bad times.”

If the music sticks with fans in their hearts, then the game’s lore sticks with fans in their minds. Even six years after the release of Undertale, fans are still creating new theories and digging up new secrets. The way the game breaks the fourth wall in particular intrigued many fans and has stuck out through all these years. The awareness that the game shows for the RPG genre makes it memorable. The game plays with the player’s expectations and turns them on their heads, all while reminding the player that they’re in a game. There are few other games that do this on such a large scale, so it’s no surprise that fans cite this as one of their favorite things about Undertale.

Lastly, the LGBT+ representation in Undertale has been a huge draw for fans. Especially in 2015, the sheer volume of non-cishet characters was unprecedented, as one fan pointed out: “It's practically unheard of to see so MANY from just one source, especially during its heyday in 2015-16. Hell, you can't even GET the true pacifist ending without helping two gay couples hook up. It's really nice to see all of them being accepted for who they are and not judged for their sexuality or gender, at least in-canon.” The LGBT+ cast including Frisk, Chara, Napstablook, Monster Kid, Mettaton, Alphys, and Undyne each connected with fans in unique ways. It’s clear how important this is from responses such as: “There are canon nonbinary characters 🥺. i have never seen representation of myself before.” “It made me gay and trans so thanks for that.”

Once again I am overwhelmed with just how much there is to say about Undertale. One responder really understood when they compared Undertale to an iceberg, explaining that there are so many layers to the game that there is something for everyone: “everyone can find something to enjoy in the lore/game regardless of what kind of fan they are! Being able to appeal to various types of fans—from simple happy shipper people to deep dive lorediggers—is the mark of the coolest games!” I would have to agree with them.

It’s been six years, and despite everything, it’s still you. Thank you for reading, participating in this survey, and above all, staying determined.

Highlights:

DETERMINATION became a metaphor for not killing myself at a really rough time in my life and I’ll always cherish that. Undertale isn’t afraid to go to really dark places but at the same time holds on so tight to its hope.

I think the coolest thing was having the opportunity to watch the AU community grow from its bare roots. It's nearly insane how big and complex it's gotten, unlike anything I'd ever seen before. Roll your eyes at the 50th AU Sans all you want, it's encouraging people to step outside the boundaries of fanart and pushing people to make their own ideas! I mean, hell, it was how I gained the confidence to start making my own original content.

i love how the lgbt rep is so naturalized... there are just gay people! and its nobodys business!

The music is my go to answer, but what I really really REALLY love is how the minor characters have so much personality to them when you talk to them. They aren't incredibly important to the overall story, but they're all so likeable and diverse that you just can't help but like them immediately!

I think it was the first videogame I have played that broke the fourth wall that much. Of course there has been other videogames that broke it but just for one or two tongue-in-cheek jokes. The guilt of killing mama goat was also something intense as well that I appreciated as an experience and that I didn't think a videogame could cause on someone.

I love how no character can be seen as completely bad! Everyone builds up Asgore as some horrible villain, but he turns out to be a 'fuzzy pushover' who's broken and just wants his family back by the time you meet him. Then you think Flowey's an irredeemable killer who engineered the suffering of the monsters across many timelines, and he is... but he also used to be the kind and beloved Prince Asriel Dreemurr, traumatized by his death and subsequent rebirth, projecting his best friend onto you.

The fact that choices matter in the game. Your first playthrough and getting the golden ending for the first time. I can never replicate those feelings again, wish I could erase my memories and replay the game from the start.

I wouldn't have met my now husband without Undertale.

(Toxic parts of the fandom aside) The community is possibly one of the kindest I've ever met. Cringe culture is completely dead, and I feel like I can be myself. I felt a very close connection to many of the characters, and I loved consuming content about them when I was in a rough patch in my life.

just everything, the whole game has just impacted my life so much. i know it sounds really lame, but when the game first came out, i would purposely put my hands in my pockets and sway slightly, like sans' idle animation. of course i dont do that anymore haha, but undertale still really impacts me to this day, and i wouldnt have it any other way :)

it made me gay and trans so thanks for that

I realized that Mercy isn't something that's given to those who deserve it. Flowey didn't deserve it. I don't deserve it myself. Shoot, we ALL need Mercy in our lives.

The thing I love most about Undertale is no matter how many times I play or watch a playthrough it always makes me genuinely happy. It always feels welcoming like home or like comfort food that I never grow tired of no matter how many times I go to it. Toriel still makes me feel all warm and cozy in her home, the Skelebros always make me laugh, and I still cry on the inside watching Frisk comforting Asriel. And on the flip side the No Mercy run still invokes the negative emotions in me as well. In short Undertale just feels like a second home to me and I always wish I could stay.

The reader inserts are my favorite way to decompress after a hard day

I think Undertale helped me discover my love for 8-bit games, and made me realize how IMPORTANT music is in video games.

the worldbuilding and character design are my favorite parts of the main game apart from the music! I’m also a huge fan of the random AU music- not for like underswap or underfell i like the stuff where someone makes a megalovania for a random au where gru from despicable me replaces sans as the character. i think its funny

Just... the vibe, honestly? Even the best fics I've read can't capture that feeling of nostalgia/almost-"coming home" that comes with hearing the music and talking to the characters.

there are canon nonbinary characters 🥺. i have never seen representation of myself before.

[SLAMS FIST ON DESK] I KNOW MOST PEOPLE SAY THE FANDOM IS TOXIC AND CRINGE OR WHATEVER BUT OH MY GOD. The Undertale fandom, both the UTMV and the actual UT fandom, has been so much fun to be a part of. I've met countless friends because of our shared interest in something related to the game! The art people create can be breathtaking and so inspirational, and the fanfics are so so good!! I've seen people write incredible things for this fandom and it's what made me continue writing!

There's a scene where Frisk (the player) is going towards what is presumably going to be their death. They will fight Asgore and he will use their human soul to break the barrier and free his people. The music, despite the player's impending doom, is... triumphant. You are not the triumphant one here, and yet, the score invites you to experience the monsters' joy and happiness as they tell you the tale of their subjugation. The monsters are going to be free. This is their victory, but they don't hate you or want you to die. They're just... happy. That scene has always struck me very deeply. I feel it represents the best parts of Undertale.

I loved how well thought out the Geno route was. It really made me feel like I was doing something horrible, and the characters were very obviously reacting to dire circumstances.

I dunno? I like Undertale for it's characters, story, music, secrets and many more. I am not good with Headcanons but I also like the neutral endings and how different they can depending on who you spare and kill

I was very bad at english before, i thought i couldn't progress because i was very shy and not confident. But my sibling and i wanted to have the best experience with this game so we wanted to play it in english. It's this game and the fandom which helped me to make huge progress in english !

THE SOUNDTRACK. IT'S SO GOOD like I will literally go through the entire thing over and over and not be bored with it. It makes my monkey brain so happy you have no idea.

to avoid writing an essay i will say one word. Mettaton

It is like Toby specifically made the games to fit the iceberg meme and it's awesome, everyone can find something to enjoy in the lore/game regardless of what kind of fan they are! Being able to appeal to various types of fans - from simple happy shipper people to deep dive lorediggers is the mark of the coolest games!

I love almost everything about Undertale as a game on its own. The music, the art and especially the characters and how they interact. They made me feel at home. Undertale means a huge amount to me. (I even got a tattoo of the castle when you and MK walk together!) The fandom helped keep the game alive all these years, with all of its AUs. Although personally, I always enjoyed AUs that kept characters as close to the classic material as possible (dancetale, outertale) I do appreciate the creativity of the fandom. They almost created entirely new stories with new characters of their own! If it weren't for those people, the Undertake fandom would have probably not been as active as it is now. I do feel like we're getting a resurgence of classic content now too! (In 2021)

the mystery. toby fox refused to give answers to anything and i think thats very sexy of him.

I just feel guilty for liking it so much when I'm in my 30's. But I recently got diagnosed with ASD, so I guess it explains things a bit. Many ppl consider Papyrus to be neurodivergent, and some adult fans are too, so seeing that makes me feel a bit better.

i think about "Despite everything, it's still you" everyday of my life.

I like how it's just as funny as it can be serious. All routes are this way. I laughed as much as I cried when I played the Pacifist route and then once I opened the game again and Flowey was telling me to let them be happy, I immediately turned off the game. I somehow felt bad.

The Found Family Trope

The True Pacifist Ending is just...man. And the fanworks about saving everyone even when the game doesn't let you? MANNNNNN

I think what I like the most about Undertale is how the music attaches you to the story. They're simple melodies that stick with you throughout the whole game, and they can remind you of both good and bad times.

there's honestly a LOT to love about this game, but i think one of my favorite things about it is just how many lgbt+ characters there are??? i can think of alphys, undyne, frisk, chara, mettaton, napstablook, monster kid, asgore, mad mew mew, the dress lion, the royal guards, and arguably even papyrus off of the top of my head, but im sure i'm forgetting a few from just undertale alone (there's even MORE in deltarune)!! it's practically unheard of to see so MANY from just one source, especially during its heyday in 2015-16. hell, you can't even GET the true pacifist ending without helping two gay couples hook up. it's really nice to see all of them being accepted for who they are and not judged for their sexuality or gender, at least in-canon.

[Image description: A wordcloud in the shape of the capitalized word UNDERTALE. The text is white on a black background, and uses the font found in the game. Some of the most visible words are: Game, Love, Music, Life, AU, Store, Friend, and Feel, which represent the most common words in the essays people wrote about their love for the game. End of ID]

[af-answers]

OKAY SO — I was looking at fanart for AF and saw this and I have a question!:

Was the suit thing intentional (@ mod), because if so then that’s so cool. Like, I can see the lighter suit being on the inside and later on the outside for younger and older Artemis, respectively, being a metaphor for how how he is more open w/ emotions and permits himself to make decisions following them towards the end of the story, but still had them at the beginning. (So what I’m getting at is that his inner ‘softness’ is more externally expressed now than before.) If I’m reading into this too much then,,, oops,,, but it’s awesome regardless! On a side note- I love your art; keep it up. ❤️ And Holly - you’re the best. Your character’s super inspiring!

Mod: Ahh, thank you (love your username btw)! I’m trying to remember my motives, it was years ago I drew this one (weird, right?) I think I did want them both to be wearing the same outfit, but with different color schemes, to show how they are opposites but the same person. And since brat Artemis is “evil,” it made sense to put him in the dark suit. As far as the vest colors, I wanted to break up the blocks of color, but it also helped that it showed in young Artemis the good inside him, and in older Artemis the remnants of the bad.

After reading this ask, I was wondering how old vs new Holly would look. There wasn’t the same effect, but I do think Holly has come a long way, just as Artemis has. At least, my headcanon Holly did.

Holly: Thanks for the compliment! A big part of my job is to be inspiring: I didn’t take that seriously as a cadet, I was just trying to survive, but now I embrace it. The People have a lot of changing to do, but we can change.

Holly: No one has asked, @linkodoodle. How do I say “yes definitely” without sounding too rude?

Our ears are a big part of each race’s heritage, almost sacred. Piercings are just now becoming not taboo, because it’s considered cultural appropriation of the centaurs. Among pixies, the more pointed the ears the more attractive they’re considered.

Humans don’t know any of this, and I get it. Fairies are “fictional” to them. But I still cringe when I see a human with pointed ears.

[crazyfreckledginger]

The Girl's Pack ~ Chapter 33: Dumbasses With Ice Creams [Final]

[Princess][Archer][Wolf][Wally][Jason and Roy][Dick]

A/N: Omg you guys, this is the last chapter T-T Thank you for reading ans I hope you liked this series! Links to fanart and formatting of the fic will be rearranged once I get to a computer.

"I can't believe Wonder Woman asked you if you wanted to be mentored by her," Zatanna expressed wide-eyed.

"That's awesome!" Karen agreed, sipping her drink.

"I'm pretty excited as well! It's hard to believe." (Y/N)

"(Y/N), there are people for you, "Beast Bay informed rapidly before he scurried away to catch up with Jaime. Already a week had passed since the incident and everyone was already on their feet, some more than others.

"Thanks," she called out, excusing herself and pacing towards the main hall.

Who could that be?

"It's good to see you again, little one," the voice chuckled as she turned around the corner.

"(Y/N)!" the child's voice squealed excitedly.

"Oh my gosh, guys!!" She rushed to her pack, catching Grey as he jumped into her arms and hugged Kai tightly.

"It's good to see you, "Ayaka smiled when the girl embraced her afterwards.

"How have you been?" Keanu nuzzled her neck.

"Smart stunt you pulled off with to those humans" Kaleb snorted.

****

"Do you want to hang out?" Wally asked, leaning against the wall and watching her as she slid into her jacket and grasped her

handbag.

"Can't, I'm going to get ice cream with Dami."

"Dami wants ice cream?? He agreed ??" Tim's eyes widened as he entered her room to drop something off.

"Yes of course he's such a cutie!".

"I'm not cute! "The voice grumbled as the person in question entered the room.

"He's not, he's a demon spawn, "Jason came in as well.

"First off, to many people in my room, second, Damian is the most precious bean in the world." she engulfed him in a side hug and despite his scowl, he didn't push her away.

"Can come with you for ice cream?" He ginger speedster asked. Jason immediately seemed interested.

The girl opened her mouth.

"No." Dami answered for her.

"Dami baby, be nice," she patted his head affectionately, "yes, you can come

you want, she accepted, "it could be fun!"

"Sweet, "Jason went to his room to get a few things..

****

"Why did you invite them again?" Damian sighed as they both watched the chaos happening behind them.

Wally had accidentally tripped nanoseconds after obtaining his

ice cream right in Jason's cheek and Dick tried to catch the scoop of ice cean in his hand.

The speedster's hand was soaked in the sticky substance when the cone broke upon impact and Roy had given the last of

the tissues from the stands to him, only to have both his hands getting creamed and sticky. Hid hands were basically stuck with tissues as they are attempted to eat the remainder of their desserts.

"They are dumbasses, Damian stuck his spoon in his mouth to savour the snack.

"I know, but we love them, right?" she cringed softly knowing exactly what he was going to say.

"No we don't."

them, right? she sprished hat the decks..

"Say, (Y/N)" Jason spoke.

"Hmm?" she turned around,

"Can we ever visit your kingdom thing?"

"Mmh, maybe someday," she replied briefly. That might not happen for a while, she needs to be sure the creatures of Arvaysia were comfortable enough with humans to accept them there.

(Y/N) kept walking alongside Dick, who struggled to eat properly when still limping in his leg cast.

"Self someone doesn't want you near her," Wally teased.

"Well at least we shared a bed, did you share one when you went on your little escapade?" he questioned smugly. There was a moment of silence before the blood son sighed in disappointment.

"Every moment I spend with you fools, the more I realise how much intelligence you lack."

"...What they hell demon spawn?"

"While cuddle when they need affection, it has nothing to do with romance. It's a sign of reassurance, familial love, appreciation and protection." He clarified.

Roy and Jason's face fell, a wide grin on Wally's face as they processed hid words.

"Tt, I can't believe you guys really think she likes you-"

"How do you know about this?" the archer asked.

"Kaleb explained it to me, it's what it means there."

Jason threw the remainder of his ice cream exasperatedly to the concrete sidewalk.

"DAMMIT!" He yelled, "what does a kiss mean?"

"Leave me alone now idiot," Damian turned in his heel to join the others.

"-and making out?"

Jason kept asking questions all the way to the car, not getting the answers he demanded. Even though the girl had no idea what wass going on, she couldn't be more happier. She was as free as she wanted to be, she would have a superb mentor, being admired bask to her home town, all whilst surrounded by the friend and family she had only dreamed of. This adventure was dangerous, but she came out of it stronger, with a new perspective.

Because the greatest part of the journey isn't just arriving at the destination, is it?

Comments, votes and feedback improve motivation, writing and publishing, so it is in your best interest to leave some! :)

Want to be tagged? Let me know in which ever way you are the most comfortable with!

Tagging: @lumifuer @ijustwantmyshipstobehappy  @plethora-of-things @xlatinaaxx  @lostnliterature  @batette  @pythiaaa  @schweeeppess  @gearsinice  @mizmahlia  @tina8009  @alex--awesome--22  @disa @seventhbunny @kelcpaul96​ @raven-daughter-of-hell @welcome-to-my-reblog-cave @vineisdeadiwishiwas @trashy-san

[lakesandquarries]

Great White Gravity - Chapter Two

Pairings: taako/kravitz, taako & angus mcdonald Characters: taako, kravitz, angus mcdonald Other Tags: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, sazed sucks, ango and his 2 dads, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, sad boys Warnings: sazed, ptsd,  Summary: In the aftermath of the goblet, Taako tries to deal. Other Notes: hella spoilery. title from “lifeline” by imogen heap shoutout to @juicywizards for their amazing fanart!!

AO3

In the morning, Taako remembers why he never shares a bed with anyone.

For one thing, it inevitably ends with someone on the floor. He wakes up with his face pushed against the carpet, fibers probably being absorbed into his face. He does not have enough cleanser for this. Sighing, he pushes himself up, cringing at the feeling of lint clinging to his face.

Ugh.

Angus, meanwhile, is curled up in Taako’s bed. Taako’s big, beautiful, soft bed. He's even cuddling with Taako's sleep sack.

Whatever. It's not like he needs any more sleep. He stands, stretching his limbs and wincing at the series of cracks and pops. He takes a moment to glance in his mirror, trying to brush the carpet bits off his face, making sure his hair looks decent, adjusting his lacy pink nightgown.

He leaves Angus. Kids need sleep, right? Probably.

As he walks into the living room, Magnus waves. “Yo,” he calls. “You sleep well?”

“Yeah,” Taako says. It's only a half lie, really.

“Then why did I hear the door open at like, four am?”

….fuck.

“Uh,” Taako says, twisting one of his rings. “Look, Magnus -”

“You don't have to lie,” Magnus says. “I get it. Nightmares, right?”

“...maybe,” Taako admits.

Magnus stands and walks over to Taako. Elves are supposed to be taller than humans, but Magnus is tall and Taako's short, and Magnus is almost exactly a head taller than him.

Magnus holds his arms out, a wordless offering, but Taako makes a show of rolling his eyes and huffing before he accepts the hug. Magnus is good at hugs. He's like a dog, almost, big and soft and sometimes a little scary looking until you realize all he wants is to be friends. Taako lets Magnus envelop him, leaning all his weight on the human until Magnus is basically holding him up.

It's...nice. He'd never admit it out loud, of course, but there's something nice about letting someone else hold him. He lets himself zone out, shutting his eyes.

He wakes up two hours later, on the couch, Magnus still holding him.

“Heyyy,” Magnus says, patting Taako's hair. “You fell asleep hugging me.”

“I'm dead,” Taako says. “This is the worst thing to ever happen to me.”

Magnus pets his hair. Taako longs for death’s sweet embrace.

….speaking of. He sits up quickly, nearly falling off the couch. There’s a half-formed idea in the back of his head, working its way to actual thought.

Kravitz is dead. Therefore, if Taako fed him poisoned food, he’d be totally fine. And Taako could spin it as a romantic date, instead of him being a fucked up mess.

It’s perfect. A grin makes its way onto his face, and Magnus looks at him.

“Taako? You okay there bud?”

“Peachy,” Taako says. “I just had the best idea.”

“You wanna share, or…?”

“Nope!” Taako shouts, shoving himself off of Magnus and rushing to his room. He ignores Angus, still asleep on the bed, and digs through the pockets of his cape.

“Where is it, where is it…” he mutters, wishing he kept his pockets neater. Finally, underneath three candy wrappers and a ring, he finds what he’s looking for - his Stone of Farspeech. He glances at Angus before he calls Kravitz.

“Yo, Kravitz, my dude, you there?” Not his best opening, but whatever. He can work with it.

“Taako?” Kravitz asks.

“Got it in one. I was wonderin’ if you’d maybe like to….Come stop by? Hang out?”

Kravitz is silent on the other end.

Shit, Taako thinks. Shit, shit shit.

“Is this for business, or for pleasure?” Kravitz asks.

Taako grins. “Pleasure,” he tells Kravitz, voice smooth and with no trace of the panic he was feeling just a few seconds ago.

Kravitz makes a noise. Taako’s not entirely sure what it means - confusion, maybe? But he continues on. “I was thinking, our last….Meeting ended kinda abruptly, right? So maybe you could do you little rift thing again, come over at….well, time’s a little weird up on the moonbase, but let’s say in six hours?”

“Oh,” Kravitz says. “I would…” He mumbles something about jobs he has, and Taako can hear him flip through some papers and write something down, and finally Kravitz speaks again. “I can’t get there for nine hours,” he says, sounding genuinely sorry. “Would that be alright?”

“Yeah, that’d work,” Taako says, trying his best to sound like he doesn’t even care if Kravitz takes nine hours or three or two days. Gotta be cool.

“So. It’s a date, then?” Kravitz asks.

“It’s a date. Wear something nice,” Taako says, and Kravitz snorts.

“I’ll see you then, Taako.” Kravitz ends the call.

Nine hours. He can definitely be ready by then. He just has to get everyone of the suite, take a long shower, make sure he looks perfect, and cook an entire meal.

He can do this.

“Sir?”

Oh, fuck.

“Who was that?” Angus asks, tilting his head at Taako.

“How much did you hear?” Taako asks in response.

“Are you really going on a date, sir?” he asks, with a face that can only be described as “delighted”.

“Hells yeah,” Taako says, grinning at Angus.

“Who’s it with? Do I know them? Are they nice? Are they part of the Bureau? Are they -”

“Woah, woah, Ango, slow down. You don’t know him, he’s cool, and he’s not part of the Bureau.”

Angus frowns. “But if he’s not part of the Bureau, why’re you inviting him here? How are you inviting him? The Director won’t be happy, if she finds out.”

“Um,” Taako says. “Well, uh….He’s aware of the Bureau? It’s complicated, don’t worry yourself about it.”

“It’s okay if you don’t wanna tell me,” Angus says. “What’s his name?”

“I’ll tell you his name but you gotta promise not to tell anyone else. Okay?”

Angus nods, rolling his eyes.

“His name is Kravitz. And no one can know about that, okay?”

“Okay, okay. Can I meet him?”

“Maybe some other day.” Probably never.

“Okay!” Angus says, still looking delighted. Taako grins at him.

“Now, you gotta go back to your room, cause I need to prepare.” He makes a motion to push Angus and the boy nods, scurrying off the bed. He glances back at Taako, hand on the doorknob.

“Thanks, Sir,” he says quietly, a tentative smile on his face. Taako’s about to say something snarky, but he stops himself.

“Anytime, Ango,” he says, and Angus nods at him before slipping out of the room.

----

As it turns out, nine hours is just enough time. Taako takes an hour long bath, first, then takes another half hour just to dry off and fix his hair, and then it’s two hours to get dressed and do makeup, leaving him with five and a half hours to cook and get Magnus and Merle out of the suite.

Which, speaking of, he has an idea.

“Angus!” he says as he turns his Stone to Angus’s channel. “Ango, I need your help!”

���What do you need?” Angus says a moment later, sounding slightly out of breath.

“I need you to get Mags and Merle out of the suite.”

“I can do that, Sir!” Angus says cheerfully. “I’m great at distracting people. It’s an important part of being a detective! How long, and when?”

“As long as you can. I won’t need you to for another couple of hours, but I’m gonna need them gone. Can’t have those bozos screwing up my date.”

Taako can practically hear Angus nod. “Okay! Call me when you need me!” he says, and then, almost as an afterthought, he adds, “I love you!” and hangs up.

Fuck him, Taako might think he loves the kid back. He quickly takes his feelings and pushes them as far down as possible. Fuck that shit.

This is no time for feelings. It’s time for cooking.

He shoos Merle and Magnus out of the kitchen, quite literally, and makes a frankly unreasonable amount of food. Some of it is the kind of simple shit he makes Merle and Magnus all the time, which he nearly throws at them. While they’re eating round one he makes a quick call to Angus, telling him to do his thing

“You’re in a mood,” Merle comments as a sandwich nearly hits him in the face.

“Hello, Sirs!” Angus says as he opens to door to the suite.

“Oh god,” Merle says. “Who invited him?”

Angus’s shoulders slump. “I just wanted to ask you guys for some help…” he says quietly.

“What d’you need, Ango?” Magnus asks, ruffling the boys hair. Angus grins at Taako, and Taako gives him a thumBs up before vanishing back into the kitchen.

“I wanted to ask if you and Merle would….train me, maybe?” He whispers the last part, still loud enough that Taako can hear, continuing with, “I know Taako already is but he can only train me in magic and I wanna learn other stuff too!”

“Ugh,” Merle complains.

“Shush,” Magnus says. “Of course, Angus! Wanna go to the icosagon?”

“Yes!” Angus says, and Taako doesn’t have to look to know there’s stars in Angus’s eyes. He listens to Merle make a few more half-assed protests before the sound of the door closing and then blissful silence.

The silence lasts about ten seconds, immediately replaced by the sound of cooking and Taako’s loud, off-key singing.

He goes for something kinda simple. Pasta.

From scratch.

So, okay, not that simple. He’s got the dough ready when he realizes he has no way to flatten it into actual noodle shapes. He takes a deep breath.

Okay. He just has to reshape them with magic. It’s not even transmutation magic. He can do this.

It takes him twenty minutes to reshape the dough into noodles.

He leaves the noodles for now, letting them sit, and getting started on his sauce. Just a simple marinara tonight.

He can do this, he reminds himself, shutting his eyes and transmuting a cut in half tomato into a whole tomato.

Everything will be fine.

It’s incredible how much someone can cook in three hours. By the time all the food is ready, he has half an hour to set the table, which he manages in fifteen minutes, leaving him with just enough time to have a panic attack.

What if it tastes awful? What if he someone manages to kill an already dead man? What if Kravitz realizes how stupid and awful and pathetic he is?

Stop, he thinks. He can’t start crying now, he’ll ruin his makeup and he absolutely does not have the time to redo it all. He takes a deep breath, then another, than a third, until he’s breathing like a normal person again.

He’s fine. It’s fine. Everything. Is. Fine.

….probably.

[athyrabunlord]

Daydream [II]. Chika

Reminder: This is based off of Daydream Warrior and this fanart I did Warning: Profanity, violence and sex. Ships: You>Chika>Kanan>Riko>?; with mentions of YouMari & KanaMari, and implied DiaYoshi & Maruby Words: 1,711

[I. Mari] [II. Chika] [III. Yohane] [IV. Kanan] [V. Dia] [VI. Hanamaru & Ruby] [VII. You] [VIII. Riko] [IX. ???]

II. Chika

“Why did I meet you?

I felt a definite link between us”

“Hello, earth to You-chan~?”

“Ah, gomen, Chika-chan.”

“You’re daydreaming again… is shopping with me so boring?”

You only chuckled and shook her head. Her lack of response made her orange-haired companion huff and stomp in playful annoyance. Chika was always full of energy and reacted to everything earnestly. There was never a dull moment with this pure-hearted, mikan-loving girl.

She’s a good girl. She’s such a good girl, yet…

Blue eyes glared at the ground, willing to burn a hole then and there so that she could jump in and would not have to endure this torture any longer. Or she could throw that accursed Kanan in and be done with it all, heh.

Soft, dainty hands waved in front of her face, prompting her to look at Chika in the eyes at last. The girl of her dreams now looked concerned, rather than disgruntled as her tone suggested.

“You-chan, are you really okay? Y-You got into a fight again, didn’t you?”

You stopped Chika’s hand before it could touch the small bandage on her neck that wasn’t covered by her scarf. “No, and I’m okay. I just slept late last night, that’s all.”

Chika scrunched up her face to an adorable pout. She appeared so innocent then, so trusting and full of zeal that half of You wished to embrace her and never let go. As if such gesture could siphon a bit of light and goodness into her jaded soul too.

The other half of her so wanted to break Chika’s purity.

Imagine what her reaction would be, if she were told about the hickie behind the bandage? You suppressed a shiver as she recalled Mari’s phantom warmth against her skin and those supple lips upon her neck. Oh yes, what would Chika think?

“Are you cold, You-chan? I know you don’t like the cold,” Chika was still frowning as she tugged at You’s scarf and wrapped it more snugly around the latter. “Here, lemme warm your hands!”

Sighing, You allowed herself a brief moment in which she indulged in the sensation of having her hands caressed by the girl she loved. All those fleeting fantasies of destroying Chika’s innocence were gone, leaving behind that prickly shame for daring to imagine such a thing. She had to fight every fibre of her being not to interlace their fingers, and instead, she gently squeezed Chika’s hands once before letting go.

“Thanks, Chika-chan. Now, let’s… let’s get back on track. How about this one?”

Without waiting for her companion’s answer, she entered a quaint shop full of small trinkets and antique ornaments. You pretended to look focused, nodding and grunting every now and then to show that she was listening to Chika. However, she was only concentrating on her beloved’s energetic voice, not the words themselves.

Why the fuck would she want to hear more about Matsuura Kanan?

Even then, she was but a mere human, and her brain still automatically absorbed those words and forced her to bask in Chika’s infatuation with Kanan yet again. No, not simply infatuation. You recognized that look in Chika’s eyes, something she saw whenever she stared at the mirror. Chika did love that person, just as You loved her dearly.

“Hehe, Kanan-chan almost smiled when I told her about that new restaurant three blocks away from the station. I knew it, that sashimi-loving side of her is still in there somewhere, I just need to coax it out!”

You stuffed her hands into her coat’s pockets to hide her clenched fists. She bit down on her lower lip just in time before she blurted out something Chika should never know. While she did desperately want to reveal Kanan’s sexual relationship with Ohara Mari, that would mean exposing her own twisted affair with the blonde as well. Her earlier notion of wanting to find out Chika’s reaction was long buried by the protective side of her.

No, Chika must not fall like her.

“Kanan-chan’s so kind too. Last weekend, when she heard Mito-nee made me clean the warehouse, she came over to help out. Hehe, she lifted all those boxes easily, it was kinda cool.”

I could’ve easily done that too. Where the fuck was I? Oh, right. You swallowed a growl and hung her head with guilt. I was screwing around with Mari-chan.

She flinched when Chika suddenly pinched her cheeks and pulled her lips upwards. “Smiling is important, You-chan! I’ve already had to tell Kanan-chan many times, don’t make me bug you about it too!”

You didn’t know what kind of expression she wore then, but it mustn’t be a pleasant sight because Chika cringed and dropped her hands.

“Chika-chan, why are you doing this? Why are you so hung up on… Kanan?” She forced that goddam name out between her gritted teeth, and was relieved that she sounded monotonous rather than venomous. No need to unsettle Chika more. “You know how much she loves…Riko-chan, right?”

You was puzzled by the icy chill that licked her spine then, as if she’d uttered something forbidden. Chika also looked bewildered, like she wasn’t expecting You to say that at all.

After a prolonged silence with them staring blankly at each other, Chika chuckled quietly and folded her arms behind her. “Yeah, I know Kanan-chan will probably always love Riko-chan, no matter what I do or what anyone else does for that matter. So what’s why I’m not doing anything. I just enjoy spending time with Kanan-chan.”

She paused and exhaled shakily before peering up at You with a small smile. “I’m not looking for anything in return. I just want to show her that I care about her, that’s all. I’m her friend, aren’t I?”

It was as if a beast’s claws had dug into You’s heart with those sincere words. She understood Chika’s feelings very well, except the selfish core of her still wanted to possess the latter all for herself. Unable to respond, she simply stood there and stared at the ground while Chika continued browsing around the shop.

She must have zoned out yet again, for Chika has already finished her purchases and was poking her arm for attention.

“Here you go~!” You blinked at the small anchor keychain dangling in front of her face, and then at the grinning girl as the trinket was deposited onto her palm.

“For me?”

“Yup! Yousorou~” Chika saluted and pointedly gazed at You until the latter returned the gesture. “Thanks for shopping with me, You-chan.”

“You don’t have to, it’s my pleasure. I am your friend after all,” You mumbled slowly, those pure words tasting vile on her tongue.

“Hehe, nope! You’re not just any friend but my best friend!”

You was both pleased and disconcerted by how Chika thought of her. At least, she was still special in the mikan-loving girl’s world.

“You think Kanan-chan would like this? She should, since Riko-chan would too,” Chika held up a small music box with a pattern of dancing dolphins carved onto the mahogany exterior. Admittedly, this gift was rather quintessentially Kanan and Riko, and it sickened You to her stomach.

“Why do you love her so much? Especially when she doesn’t love you back?” She wanted to punch herself for bringing up the topic again but a part of her no longer cared. She was tired of everything. It felt like she had been suppressing so much shit that something’s bound to erupt sooner or later.

However, Chika appeared unfazed by such painful question. In fact, her bright eyes had never looked so determined then, and You found herself falling for her best friend all over again. “I just do, You-chan. I won’t lie and pretend that I’ve never wondered about any alternatives. What if I’ve never met Kanan-chan? What if she’s never met Riko-chan? What if none of us ever met? How different would things be?”

She shook her head and, despite appearing so vulnerable, her voice was steadfast. “We can’t change what’s already happened, You-chan. All you can do is trust how you feel. After all, if you don’t trust yourself, who will?”

You opened her mouth only to close it a moment later, unable to refute her words.

“Love isn’t meant to be convenient,” Chika’s tone softened as she gazed at You warmly. “You can’t help the way you feel, but the link between two people is real, whether it’s reciprocated or not. Sometimes it hurts, or maybe it hurts most of the time, but it drives you forward every day and helps you discover parts of your world that you’ve never even thought of! And for that, I treasure such feeling.”

She lightly touched her chest and whispered. “I love Kanan-chan.”

And I love you. You replied inwardly but kept her expression placid. Ah, how would things be like if she hadn’t fallen for Chika? She and Mari would not have to cling onto each other in such a despicable, pitiful way. Perhaps, they might even love each other. And maybe, just maybe…

You closed her eyes briefly and saw a picturesque image that was forever etched into her mind. A pair of gentle amber eyes, lustrous burgundy hair that cascaded like a waterfall, and a pretty smile that filled her chest with warmth.

Indeed, how would things be like?

Alas, there was no point in daydreaming at all.

“You are right, Chika-chan,” You summoned whatever hadn’t died inside her heart to force out an acceptable grin. “You have my support. Let me know if… Kanan and Riko-chan like the gift, ne? I’d like some credit, haha.”

The endearing smile that blossomed on Chika’s visage dulled the ache a little, making it worthwhile. You hid her clenched fists inside her pockets once more, relishing in the sensation of nails digging into skin and the sticky hotness of trickling blood. Her feeling was not convenient at all.

Love was painfully addictive and delectably despairing.

It was real.