#this chap was kinda painful to write lololol

[athyrabunlord]

Daydream [II]. Chika

Reminder: This is based off of Daydream Warrior and this fanart I did Warning: Profanity, violence and sex. Ships: You>Chika>Kanan>Riko>?; with mentions of YouMari & KanaMari, and implied DiaYoshi & Maruby Words: 1,711

[I. Mari] [II. Chika] [III. Yohane] [IV. Kanan] [V. Dia] [VI. Hanamaru & Ruby] [VII. You] [VIII. Riko] [IX. ???]

II. Chika

“Why did I meet you?

I felt a definite link between us”

“Hello, earth to You-chan~?”

“Ah, gomen, Chika-chan.”

“You’re daydreaming again… is shopping with me so boring?”

You only chuckled and shook her head. Her lack of response made her orange-haired companion huff and stomp in playful annoyance. Chika was always full of energy and reacted to everything earnestly. There was never a dull moment with this pure-hearted, mikan-loving girl.

She’s a good girl. She’s such a good girl, yet…

Blue eyes glared at the ground, willing to burn a hole then and there so that she could jump in and would not have to endure this torture any longer. Or she could throw that accursed Kanan in and be done with it all, heh.

Soft, dainty hands waved in front of her face, prompting her to look at Chika in the eyes at last. The girl of her dreams now looked concerned, rather than disgruntled as her tone suggested.

“You-chan, are you really okay? Y-You got into a fight again, didn’t you?”

You stopped Chika’s hand before it could touch the small bandage on her neck that wasn’t covered by her scarf. “No, and I’m okay. I just slept late last night, that’s all.”

Chika scrunched up her face to an adorable pout. She appeared so innocent then, so trusting and full of zeal that half of You wished to embrace her and never let go. As if such gesture could siphon a bit of light and goodness into her jaded soul too.

The other half of her so wanted to break Chika’s purity.

Imagine what her reaction would be, if she were told about the hickie behind the bandage? You suppressed a shiver as she recalled Mari’s phantom warmth against her skin and those supple lips upon her neck. Oh yes, what would Chika think?

“Are you cold, You-chan? I know you don’t like the cold,” Chika was still frowning as she tugged at You’s scarf and wrapped it more snugly around the latter. “Here, lemme warm your hands!”

Sighing, You allowed herself a brief moment in which she indulged in the sensation of having her hands caressed by the girl she loved. All those fleeting fantasies of destroying Chika’s innocence were gone, leaving behind that prickly shame for daring to imagine such a thing. She had to fight every fibre of her being not to interlace their fingers, and instead, she gently squeezed Chika’s hands once before letting go.

“Thanks, Chika-chan. Now, let’s… let’s get back on track. How about this one?”

Without waiting for her companion’s answer, she entered a quaint shop full of small trinkets and antique ornaments. You pretended to look focused, nodding and grunting every now and then to show that she was listening to Chika. However, she was only concentrating on her beloved’s energetic voice, not the words themselves.

Why the fuck would she want to hear more about Matsuura Kanan?

Even then, she was but a mere human, and her brain still automatically absorbed those words and forced her to bask in Chika’s infatuation with Kanan yet again. No, not simply infatuation. You recognized that look in Chika’s eyes, something she saw whenever she stared at the mirror. Chika did love that person, just as You loved her dearly.

“Hehe, Kanan-chan almost smiled when I told her about that new restaurant three blocks away from the station. I knew it, that sashimi-loving side of her is still in there somewhere, I just need to coax it out!”

You stuffed her hands into her coat’s pockets to hide her clenched fists. She bit down on her lower lip just in time before she blurted out something Chika should never know. While she did desperately want to reveal Kanan’s sexual relationship with Ohara Mari, that would mean exposing her own twisted affair with the blonde as well. Her earlier notion of wanting to find out Chika’s reaction was long buried by the protective side of her.

No, Chika must not fall like her.

“Kanan-chan’s so kind too. Last weekend, when she heard Mito-nee made me clean the warehouse, she came over to help out. Hehe, she lifted all those boxes easily, it was kinda cool.”

I could’ve easily done that too. Where the fuck was I? Oh, right. You swallowed a growl and hung her head with guilt. I was screwing around with Mari-chan.

She flinched when Chika suddenly pinched her cheeks and pulled her lips upwards. “Smiling is important, You-chan! I’ve already had to tell Kanan-chan many times, don’t make me bug you about it too!”

You didn’t know what kind of expression she wore then, but it mustn’t be a pleasant sight because Chika cringed and dropped her hands.

“Chika-chan, why are you doing this? Why are you so hung up on… Kanan?” She forced that goddam name out between her gritted teeth, and was relieved that she sounded monotonous rather than venomous. No need to unsettle Chika more. “You know how much she loves…Riko-chan, right?”

You was puzzled by the icy chill that licked her spine then, as if she’d uttered something forbidden. Chika also looked bewildered, like she wasn’t expecting You to say that at all.

After a prolonged silence with them staring blankly at each other, Chika chuckled quietly and folded her arms behind her. “Yeah, I know Kanan-chan will probably always love Riko-chan, no matter what I do or what anyone else does for that matter. So what’s why I’m not doing anything. I just enjoy spending time with Kanan-chan.”

She paused and exhaled shakily before peering up at You with a small smile. “I’m not looking for anything in return. I just want to show her that I care about her, that’s all. I’m her friend, aren’t I?”

It was as if a beast’s claws had dug into You’s heart with those sincere words. She understood Chika’s feelings very well, except the selfish core of her still wanted to possess the latter all for herself. Unable to respond, she simply stood there and stared at the ground while Chika continued browsing around the shop.

She must have zoned out yet again, for Chika has already finished her purchases and was poking her arm for attention.

“Here you go~!” You blinked at the small anchor keychain dangling in front of her face, and then at the grinning girl as the trinket was deposited onto her palm.

“For me?”

“Yup! Yousorou~” Chika saluted and pointedly gazed at You until the latter returned the gesture. “Thanks for shopping with me, You-chan.”

“You don’t have to, it’s my pleasure. I am your friend after all,” You mumbled slowly, those pure words tasting vile on her tongue.

“Hehe, nope! You’re not just any friend but my best friend!”

You was both pleased and disconcerted by how Chika thought of her. At least, she was still special in the mikan-loving girl’s world.

“You think Kanan-chan would like this? She should, since Riko-chan would too,” Chika held up a small music box with a pattern of dancing dolphins carved onto the mahogany exterior. Admittedly, this gift was rather quintessentially Kanan and Riko, and it sickened You to her stomach.

“Why do you love her so much? Especially when she doesn’t love you back?” She wanted to punch herself for bringing up the topic again but a part of her no longer cared. She was tired of everything. It felt like she had been suppressing so much shit that something’s bound to erupt sooner or later.

However, Chika appeared unfazed by such painful question. In fact, her bright eyes had never looked so determined then, and You found herself falling for her best friend all over again. “I just do, You-chan. I won’t lie and pretend that I’ve never wondered about any alternatives. What if I’ve never met Kanan-chan? What if she’s never met Riko-chan? What if none of us ever met? How different would things be?”

She shook her head and, despite appearing so vulnerable, her voice was steadfast. “We can’t change what’s already happened, You-chan. All you can do is trust how you feel. After all, if you don’t trust yourself, who will?”

You opened her mouth only to close it a moment later, unable to refute her words.

“Love isn’t meant to be convenient,” Chika’s tone softened as she gazed at You warmly. “You can’t help the way you feel, but the link between two people is real, whether it’s reciprocated or not. Sometimes it hurts, or maybe it hurts most of the time, but it drives you forward every day and helps you discover parts of your world that you’ve never even thought of! And for that, I treasure such feeling.”

She lightly touched her chest and whispered. “I love Kanan-chan.”

And I love you. You replied inwardly but kept her expression placid. Ah, how would things be like if she hadn’t fallen for Chika? She and Mari would not have to cling onto each other in such a despicable, pitiful way. Perhaps, they might even love each other. And maybe, just maybe…

You closed her eyes briefly and saw a picturesque image that was forever etched into her mind. A pair of gentle amber eyes, lustrous burgundy hair that cascaded like a waterfall, and a pretty smile that filled her chest with warmth.

Indeed, how would things be like?

Alas, there was no point in daydreaming at all.

“You are right, Chika-chan,” You summoned whatever hadn’t died inside her heart to force out an acceptable grin. “You have my support. Let me know if… Kanan and Riko-chan like the gift, ne? I’d like some credit, haha.”

The endearing smile that blossomed on Chika’s visage dulled the ache a little, making it worthwhile. You hid her clenched fists inside her pockets once more, relishing in the sensation of nails digging into skin and the sticky hotness of trickling blood. Her feeling was not convenient at all.

Love was painfully addictive and delectably despairing.

It was real.