another random starter for @jackdup bc Rhysie demanded a silly, fluffy thread to let him love on his sweetheart 🥺💖
“...and then, if you can believe it—y-you know what she says to me?” Rhys’s slurred voice echoed in the vastness of his office. What had started as an evening chat with Timothy had led to more drinks than he could handle with any amount of grace, hence the tirade that was still going strong after ten minutes. He gestured wildly as he paced in front of the plush armchair where Tim had settled.
“She looks me right in the eyes and says, ‘With all due respect’—and like, okay, listen Brenda, I-I wasn’t born yesterday, first of all, we alllll know what that saying actually means, so ya’ know? I don’t really care what stupidness you follow it with; that’s already a biiiig strike towards me not caring! A-anyway—then she says, ‘With all due respect’—” and this time Rhys mimicked a higher pitched, haughty tone reminiscent of the software developer from the morning's infuriating meeting, “—‘You must have the coding skills of a brain-dead bandit if you don’t understand how big this project is. How have you even made it this far in life with such a tiny, smooth brain?'” He was definitely paraphrasing now, but he’d blame the booze for that.
Rhys threw his arms wide, and his eyes rolled so hard that he almost tipped backwards. “I was a Hyperion programmer for years! You think I don’t know how much work it takes to implement something like that? I mean, I dealt with plenty of programming overhauls for the Loader Bots, and you know how many more of those there are than janitorial bots in HQ?"
Here he paused briefly, squinting into middle-distance as if actually attempting to count in his head. "I-I mean…I dunno exactly, I have spreadsheets n' shit for that, but like—it’s gotta be millions, at least! A butt-load, is what I’m saying! One one-thousandth of that is hardly a big ask, but nooo, Brenda was all like—”
But before he could continue his barely-coherent rant, the world lurched around him when he spun on his heel. Rhys tripped over himself and stumbled directly into Timmy’s chair—and while he miraculously caught himself before hitting the floor, he still fell halfway on top of Timothy in a flurry of flailing limbs. By the time his head stopped spinning enough to process which way was up again, he was awkwardly perched semi-on Timmy’s knee and semi-on the armrest. One hand clung to the back of the chair like a lifeline.
“Haaa—whoo, wow, alright, Iiii am…way too drunk right now.” And he was supposed to be the big, cool, head-honcho-of-Atlas. Rhys laughed at himself, free-spirited and floaty. “Whyyy did you let me get so drunk?? I have an earnings call at ass-o’-clock in the morning, you’re the woooorst.” And yet he buried his face in the crook of Timmy's neck and nuzzled him affectionately, so how effective was his whining, really?
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one bodyguard - l.n + o.p
Warnings: mean!lando
Pairing: Lando Norris x fem!reader x Oscar Piastri
A/N - @cheriiepies I ACCIDENTALLY DELETED THE REQUEST BUT I WROTE IT STILL
Having two boyfriends was kind of a plus as well as an absolute pain in the ass. Because if one of them upset you, then it was fine, coz you always had the other.
“Y/N, you don’t need to be this clingy all the time!” Lando groaned, pulling his headphones off and slamming them down pausing his game as you flinched. You didn’t say anything, nodding slowly as you turned and rushed out the room.
Lando put his voice chat back on and apologised to Max for the interruption.
“What happened?” Oscar said, seeing the fresh glimmer of tears in your eyes as you walked into your shared room. “Nothing,” you said, knowing fully well Oscar wasn’t the kind of boyfriend to just drop it like that.
“Come here,” he said, letting you wriggle to straddle his lap as you sighed, burying into his chest. “Lando’s being mean,” you mumbled into the crook of his neck. “I know, love, I know,” he sighed, “you know he’s stressed with racing, no?”.
“I know,” you grumbled, “but he’s being mean to me anyways,”. Lando had walked past just as you said that, his eyes wide. He didn’t realise that he’d actually hurt you. That was never his intentions. Ever. No, Lando loved you.
“Y/N,” he sighed, walking into the room as you looked up, huffing and turning back to Oscar indignantly. “Baby, I’m sorry,” Lando said, running a hand through your hair as Oscar rocked you gently.
“I didn’t mean to yell at you, Y/N,” Lando spoke softly, pressing a few kisses to your neck as Oscar ran a hand through your hair. It was amazing having two boyfriends. Ok elf them always helped fix the problems.
Unless that one time you accidentally insulted TimTams and kinder at the same time.
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Soft Launching Toto
Synopsis: OC SeleneVanderburg x Toto wolff
soft launching toto but the paparazzi had other ideas
Tw: age gap, hate comments
Beautiful divider by: @chaeflim.
SeleneVanderburg
SeleneVanderburg: Thank you for the invite @mercedesamgf1
Tagged: mercedesamgf1
liked by landonorris,lewishamilton, georgerussell63 and 862,390 others
view 6,540 comments
mercedesamgf1: 💙
liked by SeleneVanderburg
Landonorris: come to McLaren
↳ seleneVanderburg: No.
↳ oscarpiastri: Please selene, i'll get you TimTam's.
↳ seleneVanderburg: Only for you sweetie.
↳ landonorris: Wow, now I know who the favourite is 🖕
↳ carlossainz55: Yeah obviously not you.
carmenmundt: pretty girl 🥰
↳ seleneVanderburg: And look who's talking. if George doesn't marry you I will.
↳ carmenmundt: Do it, I dare you
↳ seleneVanderburg: done bbg.
↳ georgerussell63: i'm gonna die single if you keep stealing my girl Selene
↳ landonorris: your anyway gonna die single, mate
↳ seleneVanderburg: look who's talking, Mr DJ.
↳ landonorris: Please stop bullying me
↳ seleneVanderburg: No.
↳ landonorris: bitch🥰
↳ seleneVanderburg: hoe😘
↳ carlossainz55: I do not understand your friendship
↳ georgerussell63: me either mate.
user67: oh to be her
user89: Omg is she friends with Lando and Oscar
↳user4: Yes, but Lando and selene are family/childhood friends.
lewishamilton: It was so fun today, thank you for helping us prank Bono
↳ seleneVanderburg: Haha, it was my pleasure. but I don't think i'm allowed into the Mercedes garage again.
↳ carlossainz55: it's ok, come to Ferrari
↳ danielricciardo: No come to RB
↳ seleneVanderburg: no and no, I'm a Mercedes girl through and through
↳ georgerussell63: HAHA sucker
user44: Lewis? pranking BONO?
user5: she's so pretty
user66: nepo baby 🤮
user99: she's so cool
user12: mother
SeleneVanderburg
SeleneVanderburg: To my man, thank you to my man. 🤍
liked by landonorris,lewishamilton, georgerussell63 and 751,281 others
Landonorris: And who is that man?
↳ seleneVanderburg: Nun your business, lan.
↳ landonorris: BUT, I'm your best friend. I deserve to know.
↳ seleneVanderburg: say's who?
↳ carlossainz55: say's who?
↳ danielricciardo: say's who?
↳ oscarpiastri: say's who?
↳ landonorris: I'm telling mom
↳ seleneVanderburg: loser
user1: Omg the soft launch
user9: damn she really is getting the princess treatment.
georgerussell63: who could it be, hmm 👀.
↳ landonorris: WHAT DO YOU KNOW!
↳ seleneVanderburg: Nothing. Right? George
↳ georgerussell63: yup absolutely nothing
user6: George spill the tea pleaseeee.
↳ georgerussell63: I don't want to die.
↳ seleneVanderburg: I have trained you well
↳ georgerussell63: yeah all the beating me when we were growing up helped.
↳ landonorris: YOU TOO? why are you so violent selene
↳ seleneVanderburg: shut up both of you or i'm going to take both your seats.
↳ landonorris: and do what with the other seat? huh
↳ seleneVanderburg: and give it to Carlos
↳ carlossainz55: at least someones considerate huh Lando. Thank you Selene, we have now become besties.
↳ landonorris: @seleneVanderburg Homie stealer 🖕
SeleneVanderburg
SeleneVanderburg: Like'em Tall, Dark and handsome
liked by carmenmundt,charles_lecerlc, georgerussell63 and 751,281 others
carmenmundt: He's so lana coded
↳ seleneVanderburg: I know right.
↳ carmenmundt: and that third pic🤭. Marry me
↳ seleneVanderburg: I wish I could but He said no ☹️
↳ carmenmundt: 😤 Damn it. ig i'll stick with George 🤮
↳ georgerussell63: Aw love you too babe 😍
user33: carmen and selene are fr dating while George is the side piece
user94: I KNOW THAT BACK, it gotta be Toto
↳ user52: I know right, timeline makes sense
user12: THE MESSAGE
↳ user92: Lord when is it my turn?
↳ user13: it so HAWT
Landonorris: Scandalous.
↳ seleneVanderburg: shut up.
↳ landonorris: bitch
↳ seleneVanderburg: Hoe
↳carlossainz55: language
↳ seleneVanderburg: Ok captain america
↳carlossainz55: but I'm from Spain.
↳ seleneVanderburg: HAHA, Lando come get your man
↳ landonorris: I never met this man in my life - Loki
↳ seleneVanderburg: Noice one.
↳carlossainz55: Qué?
User86: Lando and selene bullying Carlos is what I live for
↳user41: and he so confused lmaoooo
georgerussell63: hmm he looks familiar
↳ landonorris: Ikr
↳ user9: TELL US.
view comments
user5: I knew it.
user8: crying my eyes out but i'm happy for them
user34: damn this sucks for them. she was soft launching him on insta
↳ user69: yeah and it's such an invasion of privacy
↳ user91: Toto is throwing his headphones right now.
↳ user69: Rip headphones
user75: Mercedes Pr team aren't getting any sleep today
user15: she really took that Mercedes comment seriously.
user66: Ew another gold digger
user98: Is this true???
user69: Damnit, I wanted toto
user23: NO WAY, she's way to young for him
↳ user3: how old is she
↳ user23: 26
↳ user3: oh damn
user11: she's so pretty
user98: we lost our queen to Toto Wolff, hope he knows how to fight
user6: Nah that's disgusting, he old enough to be her father
↳ user10: I know right ew.
↳ user23: They are both adults in a consensual relationship, it doesn't matter.
user8: she must be with him for money
↳ user18: didn't you read the headline?
↳ user16: she doesn't need to, she the heiress to a conglomerate. she's as rich as Toto.
User22: damn people so jealous of her
SeleneVanderburg
SeleneVanderburg: To the paparazzi that invaded our privacy, check your mail, B*tch and fuck you for running my soft launch.
Tagged: TotoWolff
liked by TotoWolff, landonorris,lewishamilton, charles_leclerc and 671,810 others
view 5,439 comments
TotoWolff: I love you, Libeling
↳ seleneVanderburg: Love you too, amour ❤️.
user5: OMG, there are so cute
user2: Mother is mothering
landonorris: MY EYES!
↳ carlossainz55: Shut up, muppet. I've seen worse 😒
↳ seleneVanderburg: LMAO, you got exposed Lando
↳landonorris: how could you Carlos, HOW COULD YOU!
↳charles_leclerc: @carlossianz55 your sleeping on the sofa tonight mate
↳ carlossainz55: I know 😭
↳landonorris: at least he knows
user4: I don't know if I want to be with her or be her.
lewishamilton: Congrats guys, I'm glad you're there to keep Toto calm and us safe from angry toto
↳ georgerussell63: 🫡 doing gods work
↳seleneVanderburg: He's not that bad guys
↳landonorris: Tell that to the headphones
↳seleneVanderburg: 🫢 Rip
user39: damn someone is getting sued.
danielricciardo: is Toto just looking at your leg. Man is WHIPPED.
↳landonorris: Lmao I know right, it is so funny
↳seleneVanderburg: it was more than just looking, sweetie 👀
↳landonorris: Ew.
↳danielricciardo: Ew.
↳carlossainz55: Ew.
↳charles_leclerc: Ew.
↳ georgerussell63: Ew.
↳ oscarpiastri: Ew.
↳seleneVanderburg: Y'all just jealous I get my world rocked every night.
↳seleneVanderburg: Also, Toto just asked me what Dani meant by whipped
↳landonorris: HAHA Boomer
↳seleneVanderburg: HEY, HE'S MY BOOMER.
Authors note: Hi guys, let me know if you liked this social media au. This is my first time trying in out so let me know, thank you.
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“👋 Good; you’re not busy.” And even if the CEO was (which was the more likely scenario for the freakin’ workaholic), he hardly has a choice but to suddenly be distracted, as Timothy’s already halfway across the office in a series of long and eager strides. When he makes it to Rhys, he wastes not a second more: a hand grips that unfairly distracting waist, yanks him forward, and Timmy claims that kiss he’s been craving since . . . well, probably ever since the last time he left Promethea. You know, totally not even slightly pathetic, but what’s a man to do?
// i wasn't kidding with my warning last night 〔´∇`〕
Answered! || @jackdup
((alkdfjskd weeps softly into hands over how cute these two are ;A; 💕))
Except that anyone who knew the Atlas CEO also knew that he was always busy. On this particular day, the last two hours of Rhys' afternoon had been spent on a call with an insufferable requisitions manager who refused to take "no" for an answer no matter how many different ways Rhys shut down his proposal. If he had to listen to one more half-assed argument he was liable to pull his hair out.
Thus the initial swoop of dread in his stomach when the door to his office burst open because ughhh, this clown's rambling would be ten times more excruciating in person. But a glance at the doorway brightened his expression from 'about to commit murder' to a genuine grin for the first time that day. Just seeing Timothy again worked such wonders at easing the weight from his shoulders that, not for the first time, Rhys wondered if he was the biggest sap in the galaxy. (The answer was a pretty solid probably.)
"Oh, hey! I wasn't expecting you! Not that that makes it less great to see you, obviously—lemme just..."
But by the time he hopped up from his chair, Tim had already crossed the vast office, and the intent in his eyes as he closed in short-circuited Rhys' brain. Oh, he knew that look. "Orrr not, ho-kay—" His voice fizzled into a super composed and not at all pathetic sound that he failed to swallow. At least he had the sense to put his line of the call on mute before he was swept into a passionate kiss.
The moment their lips met, it suddenly felt like it had been ages since he'd last had this instead of a few weeks. Equally eager (and fully accepting of his "sappiest bastard in the universe" title at this point), Rhys grasped at Tim's shirt to keep him close and kissed him with a fervor to make up for the time they'd spent apart.
...All while an obnoxious voice squawked from the screen on his desk. If Rhys hadn't cared before, he definitely didn't care now, so...Begrudgingly, one hand relinquished its hold in favor of slapping blindly at the desktop until the call clicked off. "I dunno what I'm more glad for," he murmured amid fleeting snatches of breath, "this, or finally having a reason to hang up on that guy."
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