#I lived through DSMP

[antimony-medusa]

*I emerge from scrolling tags to avoid writing an essay about learning styles, staring madly and with my hair torn out of my head*

okay so btw, Phil is the top requested QSMP character for the exchanges I run, usually followed by Chayanne (and then spiderbit/parrot duo, usually only like one or two votes behind).

Pissa is the 7th most popular QSMP ship, with 299 fics of this writing, and Phil & Chayanne is the 10th most popular ship, with 265 fics. Phil is the single most popular QSMP character on Ao3, tagged in 2,354 fics.

Speaking as someone who regularly goes into both the Phil and the Etoiles tags to queue art, Phil has tons of awesome art. People liveblog his lore streams. I personally saw the Cellbit discord doing a primer on his hardcore lore the other day because someone had the theory that it was going to be applicable to general QSMP lore. If I see a cool moment on stream, I can open up the tag six hours later and there's art of it.

Do you know how many fandoms would absolutely kill for that?

Phil is not sidelined by the fandom. He is doing FINE. That is the opposite of the problem we are having, we are having the problem where Phil is popular enough that people show up to other people's lore like "let me make this about my guy" and I scream and claw my face and apologize for them. We are having the problem where while MOST people in the tag are well behaved, just by laws of percentages, even a very small portion of the fandom acting badly makes fans of other characters clutch their blorbos to their chest and mutter darkly about "phil fans".

It might seem a little less if you're used to DSMP at its peak, but I assure you, DSMP at its peak was a megafandom. We are a healthy midsized-to-large fandoms and Phil is one of the big characters. I promise you.

Let me put this in DSMP terms. Phil crows? We are the inniters of QSMP. We are doing FINE. I assure you. Trust me.

Do I agree with the characterization everyone is bringing to the table for my blorbo? No. Popular characters get misrepresented. Is every fic in the tag a masterpiece? No. Baby writers get to have fun too. Do I sometimes go "aw I'd love to see more art of phil and [x] because I love their dynamic"? Yes. The nature of being human is to want more of your blorbo and for your takes about your blorbo to reign supreme.

But if you were kind of going "I want to see more of my blorbo :(" and thinking that represented that the fandom was not paying attention to the blorbo, I assure you, I've run the numbers, Phil is not being sidelined.

[bleue-flora]

Wait... Dream was born on August 12, 1999 and Dream was arrested in the Disc Finale on January 20, 2021 soo... wait, wait, wait, that means he was only 21 when he was imprisoned for life in a small lava covered box!... Did I do that math right? 21?! Man was barely able to drink legally in the United States and they gave him a life sentence in a boiling cell with nothing but lava, raw potatoes, a clock, and some books?!... oh my god...

[rat-rosemary]

Sometimes I want to talk about my horror road trip au where C!Dream and Quackity are best friends and then I remember that au is pure nonsense

[fatherrats]

EVERYONE SHUT UP IT UPDATED

[greedwritesstorys]

conversations in the tundra - dsmp short

tommy didn't remember everything between then and now. one moment the nukes were falling, the next him and jack were standing outside techno's house talking about happiness. he'd lived a whole life between those moments.

maybe there never was any nukes, maybe there isn't anything at all right now. maybe each moment was a dream of its own and he's somewhere else entirely. it didn't really matter. tommy was sure he could spend an eternity worrying about what was reality, but it wouldn't make a difference. the story was over, that much was clear, it had ended some time ago, when phil and techno and niki and ranboo had all left and there was nothing else to be said. no narrative left to weave peoples lives into whatever strange mesh it wanted. he remembered now his friend the honey bee farmer. tubbo, he was still somewhere.

did he have the same thoughts, was he left wondering what choices and actions led to this moment now. maybe. tommy doubted he'd get the chance to ask.

because for this moment, all of a sudden, he realised he felt like he was connected to it all still. like there was a story being told somewhere. like history was watching again, reminding him that things aren't forgotten because they fade a little. time might be relentless in turning everything to dust, in ensuring that "this too shall pass." but times power is equalled by our memory. nothing can truly die if it is remembered.

"are you happy? i guess that's all i'd care to know"

the answer came quickly, he'd been thinking about this too, for so long.

"getting there."

it was cold out, i mean, it was a tundra, of course it was cold out, why would anyone chose to live here of all places. maybe jack was on to something, a rundown casino might still be warmer than this.

did he miss the people they were back then? was it just that back then, back with the story was strong and the world alive, that he too felt alive, connected to everything. and if that was the case, was the only way to keep feeling like that to keep going, to keep that mess of fighting and betraying and anger rolling just so that the story didn't end. and if that were the case... was the only ending one where everything blew up...

tommy hated that idea, why should he have to die a hero or become a villain. why shouldn't this be as real as everything else was.

jack had left now, back to gambling or whatever, he seemed alright.

tommy felt that feeling fading again, the eyes were off him, no one watching. things were peaceful out here. the world was quiet here once more. he turned back to whatever it was he was doing before jack appeared. he didn't have all the answers to his questions, maybe he would find them in time, maybe he wouldn't.

somewhere far out in the wilderness, kingdoms were being toppled.

somewhere far into the future, lost citys were being discovered.

somewhere far from anything he could understand, green gods and winged men waited in a void.

all these stories are happening at once, because there are people out there still living them now.

"yeah" tommy thought to himself.

"i'm going to get there soon."

[demonstars]

I can watch other stuff but anyone who’s been at all negative to Dream I can’t

sorry for having dsmp demons for the most ungrateful of his nepo kids. cTubbo is the love of my fucking life.

[justahumanmachine]

the secret to being a writer isnt practice, its getting really into a story when youre in a bad place, and that story is in hindsight quite bad but has some good bits that stuck with you and dug their way into your psyche to the point where they leave fingerprints on anything youve ever written. the reason im so cool and sexy is because this happened to me four times

[appleflavoredkitkats]

i do mean it when i say 10 years in the future, the dsmp itself might have some case of lost media bc of a mix of the amt of streams we can't recover, biased recaps, and the purges of dsmp-related accounts both on twt and tumblr. it is already hard for me to find streams unrelated to ctommy or cwilbur, and it doesn't help that a good percent of the analysis essay posts we've archived in dsmpanalysis have been completely deleted.

of course any person can experience any piece of media at any time but truly, the dsmp was something else when experienced live because it was a testament to the importance of perspective and individual choices on which story you wanted to follow. if it weren't for archiving projects and dedicated fans, the dsmp would have been perceived in such a one-sided way.

20% of the archived essays i've been sifting through have already heen deleted. a good portion of the fics i've bookmarked have been orphaned or deleted. besides the slight upset i feel about the story and the progress of the dsmp being deleted, i think i'm more upset about the complete decimation of fan content. it's like, i get why they deleted their stuff— the dsmp has its fair share of controversy— but what made the dsmp fun and worthwhile was the fan creativity.

and now a good percentage of that is gone. i don't hope to doompost about anything because i don't rlly think the fandom is going anywhere. but it is definitely a shock to me how much history of the dsmp has completely disappeared just in the span of 2 years.

[deadkraker]

I think it's really interesting how dsmp as a narrative forces you to sympathize with even the most morally corrupt by making you live through the event from their perspective...except for cDream. you almost never get to see the story from his eyes, and when you do, it, doesn't help his case. you don't know what he's thinking, you don't know what he's planning, and you most of all cannot tell how the story affects him personally. (at least with the same ease you can with the other characters) there's no sympathetic bond there like there is with anyone who you have watched the pov of. he was made to be a villain from the start and his lack of point of view is just one of the ways the story alienates you from him, making you see him as an 'other'.

like his lack of morals and ruthlessness while intimidating isn't exactly, unheard of, you could argue cSchlatt can be pretty hard to sympathize towards, but the fact that you still get to see from his pov is so so important to how you view him. cDream at times feels almost unreachable, this distant but very real threat that hangs over pretty much everyone, and I truly believe a lot of that oppressive dread would not be as strong in those key moments if you were looking at the situation from his eyes. god I love the little details of this story sm.

[berryblu-soda]

.

[voidlitmoon]

I honestly feel bad for anyone who follows me for MCYT art/writing cuz my creativity in making a solid outline and finishing sucks rn, on the other hand my 30+ aus i ramble about to my friends in multiple max symbols discord messages are quite thriving ^-^

[willowsandwonders]

okay now I’m feeling nostalgic I want to see if I can track down some of my old liveblogs to my friends and stuff abt watching certain big dsmp events unfold live

[renranram]

Maid dress

nsfw!!

schlatt jerking off to reader while she's streaming, obvi inspired when j bought wenston some maid outfits and people were calling him his sugar daddy lols

a/n ; 886 words :)

reader flaunts herself at the camera, spinning whilst she tries on the maid outfit schlatt had bought her, " chat, do i look pretty? " she smiles as she assembles the outfit

meanwhile schlatt was on the call with her, eyes immensely focused on her live stream, " jesus fuck, you look worse " he mutters as reader glares at him through the camera

" well, you bought this for me, so maybe it's not me who's the problem " she rolls her eyes at him as schlatt chuckles, not taking his eyes off his screen once

the two had been close friends for over a year now, meeting through, shamefully, the dsmp, the duo are very different ccs on their own, reader being more into makeup and gaming whilst schlatt's varies

ever since they first met on the server the two just sparked a connection, coming off as frenemies for the public, a banter of theirs but exactly off camera, it was a whole different story

schlatt is reader's sugar daddy

at first reader would just joke about being broke, " oh my fucking godd it's so pretty but i dont wanna waste my money ", " that's so fucking expensive ", " okay im broke " until schlatt got tired and actually offered her to be her sugar daddy

at first reader thought it was a joke, a silly new banter for them but nope!, every week, new parcels would arrive on the streamer's doorstep with small notes, but chat doesn't know that, chat doesn't need to know that

" fine, ill get you a new one done " he mumbles, as he scrolls through amazon, " anime french maid apron lolita fancy dress cosplay costume furry cat ear gloves socks set " he reads out the title causing reader to chuckle as they wear the stockings for the uniform

" oh it comes in pink " he added as reader smiles, " i like pink " she replies as schlatt scoffs, " of course you do "

as the girl sits down on her bed to wear the stockings, schlatt's eyes linger down on her bare thighs, enjoying the view as he leans back on his chair

" do you need something else too? " he mutters as reader gasps, " oh my gosh! you should buy me that uhm... blaire doll thing " she smiles as schlatt shakes his head, " blaire doll thing? " he repeats her, " the fuck is that? "

reader tries to wear the collar to complete the look, " it's like a doll! " she states as she grabs her phone to show off the picture

" that's an ugly looking doll " he mutters, as he gulps, looking down at his now hard on, unironically finding reader in a whole cat maid dress... hot

" more uglier than you are " she retorts as he chuckles, " guess no more doll for you then " schlatt replies, shrugging as reader gasps, now pouting

" im kiddingggg pleaseee buy me one? " she pleads looking at the camera as her live chat speeds up, " .. fuck.. " he groans out, not loud enough for his mic to pick up, him slowly sliding in his hand inside his shorts

" please please please " she continues, as she reads off the chat, " please jschlatt senpai " she bursts out laughing, mentally cringing as schlatt chuckles, " ..fine "

" yay! chat! we fucking wonnn! " she celebrates as she jumps around the frame, clasping her hands together, " we're the best at this shit " she shrugs, smug, unaware that the man she's in a call with is already jerking off to her

" reader.., think im gonna mute for a sec, gotta do something " he mumbles as reader nods, understanding, " bet, im gonna talk with chat for a bit " she smiles, as schlatt immediately mutes himself

" fuck.. what a fucking whore.. i didn't actually think she'd do a stream " schlatt chuckles, amused as he palms himself, as reader did what she said, interacting with her audience

" what a pretty slut holy shit " he chuckles, clearly amused as he bites his lip, his rough hand playing with his dick

" chat i look so pretty right? " reader asks, fixing her hair as chat spams yes, " you damn sure are " he mumbles, as he grabs the base of his cock, using his saliva for lube

" ah fuck, fucking.. so fucking pretty " he breathes out, his body shuddering slightly as he jerks himself off, his eyes never leaving her

" fuck.. fuck.. " schlatt throws his head back as he leans back on his chair, fastening his pace, " stupid fucking whore.. "

he moans out, lifting his shirt up, as he continues to palm himself at the sight of her, he's never gonna buy her those stupid costumes again

or maybe he'll rain her with more gifts, then maybe a flight to texas so she can show everything off to him... maybe

his lashes flutter, fastening his already fast pace as he continues to moan, " stupid fucking slut, .. shit... pretty- pretty whore " he stammers

he can feel his precum leaking as reader talks with her chat, innocent yet suggestive, that stupid maid dress, if schlatt can immediately fly to london, he fucking would, he'd immediately bend her over, not caring if she was streaming or not and fuck her like some animal

" ah fuck! " he moans loudly, his semen, spurting on his keyboard making a fucking mess, " shit... " he groans out

maybe instead of ordering her a new costume, maybe he'll fly her out instead

[isa-ghost]

Quackity was right to kill off cQ 100%, and not just as a way to be fully done with dsmp and the racist loser fuckass that's the face of it

cQuackity deserves the rest. cSlime is right hes. tired. so fucking tired and burnt out.

he was wronged so extensively over and over until he became no different than the people who hurt him and he knew this, he was aware of it every second he lived whether he acknowledged it or not

there comes a point where youre in too deep and he was and he knew it. so he tied up his loose ends (saying goodbye to Slime) and doubled down on his suicide bc for horrible people like him with so much blood and corruption on his hands and so much destruction and unhappiness around him no matter how many bandaids he slaps on that flesh wound, thats the way out. and its tragic but true. he was as much a villain as he was a victim in the end

there was never gonna be a cQ redemption arc. i dont necessarily think he was utterly irredeemable but it was simply a route that doesnt fit the character.

because what would a "happy ending" for cQ even look like?

he had no one else after Slime left, hes incapable of trusting anyone including himself, hes TERRIFIED of giving up even an increment of control, the only home he has is a giant monument of how long and hard he tried to bury his trauma and grief and anger and how desperately he tried to escape everything he went through by burying it in exaggerated grandeur and riches and power

surrounded by loved ones we trust is usually what we think of when we hear happy ending. cQ is more or less incapable of that, he has no loved ones to speak of and no ability to trust people. being alone and "at peace" can be a happy ending, but alone isnt peace to cQ, he'd likely just dwell on everything that's haunted him for so long. making something thats all their own and built with their own two hands is another common happy ending. cQ did that and it was a sham and only caused him more pain.

he was fucking tired and too deep in everything he learned to believe after everything he went through. a final rest where no one can hurt him anymore and he doesnt have to fake his happiness and stability and protect himself with mostly-fake power and wealth is whats right for him. its fucked up but that's the reality. he's a tragic character

i'm personally super satisfied with the endings he chose for these characters of his and i've heard about way too many people who are being way too negative about it. and an obscene amount of people who apparently hate-watched the stream. i will honestly just be blocking those people. i loved what Quackity did and i think cQ's end makes sense.

[maigetheplatypus57]

Had this on hand. um.

this isn’t looking too good guys

[antimony-medusa]

Okay so, I just want to say, as someone who's been through this before (being a sf/fantasy fan, a music fan, and a dsmp fan, and living in my irl friend group has whammied me at various times because of various situations), something like this sucks, but it doesn't suck forever. Sometimes you have to leave the source material completely, and sometimes you work out a new relationship to it, but the love that you put into the world was not some sin on your part, and you will find a new way to navigate that love and— if you are a creator of some kind— that creativity.

You were lied to (by someone who knew that if we knew these things we'd feel very differently), and you found out the truth, and the truth sucks. It's rarely fun to be lied to. You have to let yourself grieve that disillusionment and the expectations you had for the future, but eventually all griefs get small enough that you can carry them more easily.

Every time something like this happened I found that my ability to create was just in the garbage for a while, because my brain was hitting all the buttons at the same time and would NOT focus, but eventually the need to create and imagine was strong enough to come back in some new way. I couldn't and still can't look at the work I made before in the same way, but eventually I could see it for the love I brought to it at the time, and I do believe that no love is wasted, even if you feel differently about things or people later. It absolutely sucks and you have to let it suck, but you do eventually find a new way to navigate finding joy and creativity in your media diet (or friend group, like I said, I kind of had this happen in my real life).

Which is to say I'm so sorry, and what you bring to the table has always been something that is worthy independent of the source, and you'll feel better eventually, I promise. Scumbag people can't keep us down forever.