#I literally only started shipping them last year after seeing fanart

[adripakoffee]

Hold on and let me yap about my goat Swansea rq (not rq, this is almost 2k words lol)

CW: SUBSTANCE ABUSE, MOUTHWASHING SPOILERS

I'm gonna use "probably" and "most likely" a lot in this because so much of this game is from Jimmy's perspective and he dgaf about Swansea until close to the end.

Okay, so Swansea is first and foremost, a very tired, very ragged mechanic who's probably pushing 60. He doesn't want to be on that ship. He doesn't want anything. He wants, at least at first, to just be done with this job and get paid. He respects Curly but he's annoyed by and dismissive of everyone else on the ship, especially Daisuke.

So much of Swansea's character is reliant on and paralleled to his relationship with Daisuke. When he meets Daisuke, Daisuke is happy and optimistic. He looks forward to things and tries to impress Swansea when Swansea doesn't want help.

The main reason Swansea doesn't like Daisuke ties into his alcohol abuse. Daisuke is always, at almost every point we see him pre Anya locking herself in medical, happy and energetic. Swansea hates this about him because that's a state of being he hasn't achieved, in his own words, in 15 years. He can't imagine being that happy while sober and it pisses him off. He's half jealous because of that and half jealous because Daisuke is young and has a long life ahead of him. Swansea does not like the life he built for himself while sober, but that's for later. Especially after they get laid off, the only one who has anything ahead of them was Daisuke. Swansea would have trouble getting another job both because of his age and because a lot of things on Earth were being automated.

Of course, after the crash, that jealousy becomes something else. Because Daisuke is the only one who has anything ahead of them, he's the only one whose life matters. Swansea loves his family, but he doesn't really like them. He's most likely worked with Pony Express the longest, so he knows they most likely won't be saved. They have one chance left, one cryopod for one person. He's saving it for Daisuke because Daisuke is only one with a chance.

Now bringing up Anya. I think it was 2 months in when Anya told him about Jimmy. Here I'd like to correct some things I said in other posts. In my Anya rant I said "He has the one last working cryo pod set aside for her specifically and refuses to let anyone into the room where it is." He felt bad for her, no doubt, but he probably doesn't actually do that. He, more likely, tells her "Hey, there's actually a crypod left. I'm saving it for Daisuke. It's not like either of us have things waiting on the other side of this." Swansea isn't responsible for Anya in the way Curly was. He respects her well enough as coworkers but they're not at all close. He doesn't feel any real need to put her in priority, especially with the dire situation at hand. I don't think he doesn't care, it's just not something he sees in his jurisdiction. And I'm not saying there's nothing he could've done. Had literally anyone at any point in the game killed Jimmy, a lot of problems would be fixed. But, unlike Curly, Swansea doesn't have as many options.

When they open the cargo hold and he starts drinking again, he rediscovers happiness. I'd actually like to apologize for something quickly. I made a short comic in which Swansea comforts Anya after she tells him about Jimmy (which he doesn't actually do, smh bro) and in the caption I had said "I love you sm Swansea I wish you weren't an alcoholic 😔" (It's also my most popular fanart on here and I'm very thankful for that ^^)

I don't blame Swansea for his alcoholism. It's an addiction just as much as anything else and no one should have to go through that. I personally though have had bad experiences with alcoholics and I'm generally uncomfortable around them. I definitely worded that caption poorly and I apologize for that, but I had meant it in an "I wish you were sober" way. I know that the caption had rubbed people the wrong way, so I wanted to apologize.

So Swansea is drunk and happy for the first time in fifteen years. Despite his intoxicated state, he still has his one goal and that's to save the last cryopod for Daisuke. He knows that's what he wants and he sticks to it. It's just him and the ax against the world. Eventually, Jimmy takes the ax to get the extra painkillers and the ax kinda just disappears for a while. Like I have no idea where it went but Swansea has it again by the time he offs Daisuke.

Speaking of which, Swansea kills Daisuke. Framing-wise it's probably my favorite scene in the game, like the breathing and Swansea's speech. Chat, I love this scene. Anyways, Jimmy offers Swansea a drink as a "peace offering." Swansea is never sober at this point in the game but even he can appreciate a good cocktail, especially when he's been slogging mouthwash for months. Honestly, he doesn't trust Jimmy like AT ALL at this point, but Daisuke helped him with the cocktail.

Swansea is kinda putting his hopes in Daisuke. Like obviously, he's placing hope in Daisuke's survival, but I think he's also seeing this optimistic, bright-eyed kid who's struggling as himself at the start of his sobrity. Daisuke said that the reason he got this job was because he was directionless in life. He had nothing to look forward to and no goals. The difference between him and Swansea is Daisuke's parents got the job for him and Swansea had to do it himself. So in that way he started to appreciate how happy Daisuke was, which is more reason to hate that he's there.

Swansea passes out from the cocktail and when he wakes up Anya is dead and Daisuke is in critical condition. Anya's gone which means they're out of a medic so that makes Daisuke's situation a lot worse. But because Jimmy used the Isopropyl to knock out Swansea, they're out of disinfectant. They have to use mouthwash which is established early on to have too much sugar to be disinfectant. So they kinda made it worse because Swansea and Jimmy are idiots who didn't listen to Anya. After a few hours of Daisuke slowly bleeding out, Swansea mercy kills him. it. looks. so. cool. During this speech, Swansea says something along the lines of "Stick a kid with a bunch of sad-sack adults and see what he learns. Bootstraps and all that." He really hates that Daisuke is here, it's just that the reason has changed. Before the crash, Curly and Daisuke were the only two who weren't like clinically depressed. After the crash, only Daisuke can find it in himself to stay optimistic, but even his faith is dwindling (Jimmy is optimistic too, but that's because he's crazy).

Right after that, he chases Jimmy around with the ax until Jimmy ties him up and shoots him. This is when Swansea lore drops about himself. He explains that he literally has not been happy or enjoyed his life in 15 years. He's done everything he's supposed to when it comes to leading a good, healthy life, but it's not at all fulfilling. He hates his job, he doesn't look forward to seeing his family, he just killed the last speck of joy on this metal space coffin, and he has nothing to live for. He's already fallen back into addiction so even if he got back to Earth, he'd ruin his life all over again. He'd be happy, but his life would be ruined. And then Jimmy shoots him.

Now here's a little health fact! Swansea was dying the whole game. People suffering from alcohol abuse often end up drinking Listerine when other alcoholic drinks aren't available. Now I'm just speculating and projecting, but Swansea is definitely a beer guy, that's his go-to. His tolerance suggests he was a craft kinda guy (which has an ABV between 5 and 10% (idk this is from memory)) or someone who drank a lot really quickly, but the mouthwash was 14% ethanol. That, in and of itself isn't the main problem, though it is noteworthy that he was already drinking more than usual. The main problem is that drinking mouthwash will absolutely destroy your stomach and intestinal linings. Mouthwash isn't just alcohol and flavoring, there's other chemicals in it too. On a good day, you'll get a nasty stomach ache, but you'll live. One to many though, and you are dead or in a coma. Like no joke that will kill you, especially if you drink a lot of it in such a short amount of time. That's why they keep saying "that stuff will kill you before anything else will," because it's actively killing them. Swansea probably knew this but he's prone to self-destruction so he probably didn't care. Anyway, hope you enjoyed that little health fact, I love reading medical journals ask me anything.

While writing this, I paused and started scrolling on tiktok and I saw a video where someone was complaining about the sudden villainization of Swansea in the fandom. I've literally seen nothing like this, but in the video they said one of the critiques people had of Swansea was that he was just as bad as Curly for not doing anything about Jimmy. That's insane, that is a batshit crazy take and I rebuke it. For one, Swansea was never Jim's friend. He never set people up to be victimized by Jimmy, he never enabled Jimmy's behavior or tried to comfort him when he was the problem. This was just a crazy thing to say, please learn to comprehend thing beyond the main text.

Um.. uh... conclusion paragraph, I love Swansea and I love to pretend he was more proactive against Jimmy for Anya's sake, but he wasn't so it's whatever he's not real anyway. I feel like this ended up being really long, like longer than the other two but idk.

Here's the link to the Anya rant and the Curly rants I also did, that I should probably edit upon further reflection

[imaginarylungfish]

Hello, if you don't mind, can I ask, who are your top favorite romantic relationship's couples in any media, like anime/manga, tv series, books, etc (can be canon or non-canon)? Feel free if you want to write the reasons or not of why you love them....Thanks if you want to answer....

Ooh how fun! I should just screenshot my ao3 dash lol. Let's see... almost all of these are all animanga (and not canon), but in order of my love for them at this particular moment in time:

TodoBakuDeku

BakuDeku

KilluGon

MatchaBlossom

SatoSugu

ShiGuang

TigerGhost

SasaMiya

ShunMio

KazuRei

Now, explanations, *spoilers*, and honorable mentions below the cut!

TodoBakuDeku (My Hero Academia)

Obviously not canon and never will be but oh does this ship have a chokehold on me. I just think this trio is so balanced in every way. Like we have our precious TodoDeku who connect by being nerds and the sweetest boys. Then we also have TodoBaku who are just lovely little menaces. And, of course, BakuDeku--can't beat friends to enemies to lovers. And then they all come together to form a masterpiece. Idk I just love this ship so much.

BakuDeku (My Hero Academia)

So I honestly really wasn't into this ship too much until reading the final war arc and meta. Other people's viewpoints changed my mind! Hori has done a really great job of portraying BakuDeku's complex relationship in the manga (for however you view their canon relationship). So like idk how can I not ship For-the-Rest-of-Our-Lives Katsuki with Control-Your-Heart Izuku?

Sidenote: I almost didn't include this on the list because I tend to only really ship this pair while reading the manga. I never shipped them in the anime unless it was TodoBakuDeku with Deku as a hinge. And I don't even read many fics with just Katsuki and Izuku. I just feel like fandom BakuDeku feels incomplete without Shouto for some reason. Like I'm Team BakuDeku for the manga, Team hinge TodoBakuDeku in the anime, but throuple TodoBakuDeku in the sanctuary of my mind/on ao3. (Maybe that'll change once I start watching Season 7 though.)

KilluGon (Hunter x Hunter)

I only watched this anime this year but ohmygod I immediately fell in love with Gon and Killua. They are so precious. I mean, Killua is just a little smitten kitten. And Gon? He's in it. Anyway, love their dynamic and of course I ship them. Gon is Killua's light after all!

MatchaBlossom (Sk8 the Infinity)

Literally just started shipping this so I'm in the throes of obsession rn but their dynamic? *chef's kiss* (hehe, you like what I did there?) Childhood friends? Pining while the other falls for another? Realizing feelings? Already married bickering old couple? Give me all the headcanons please!

SatoSugu (Jujutsu Kaisen)

I mean, c'mon. Tragic gays are my weakness. They're gonna be OG for me. No one can compare. They're on a different level. All I want is for them to have hopped on a plane and gone somewhere they can finally find peace, is that too much to ask? (Gege??)

ShiGuang (Link Click)

Again, I said I like tragic gays. But god, I do hope they don't end up too tragic! I love this pairing. They balance each other out well. We have puppy dog Cheng Xiaoshi and cat Lu Guang. Perfection thx.

TigerGhost (Nicktoons Unite)

Ok so this crackship was brought on by my serendipitous viewing of Nicktoons Unite fanart on this beautiful app and subsequent reading of all their fics on ao3 (a grand total of four, btw). And I'm obsessed. I was a diehard Danny Phantom fan as a kid (we stan our queer/genderqueer/bisexual/trans ghost boy). And I never watched El Tigre as a kid, but the way the fandom portrays him and Danny together just hits. Salty and sweet with a lil bit of darkness? Yum.

SasaMiya (Sasaki to Miyano)

First canon ship on this list lol. You want fluff? You got it. Give me some good pining, consent, and mutual respect, thank you.

ShunMio (Stranger by the Shore)

Second and last canon ship on the list! Love me some good ole sun and moon. Idk their story is so cute. Plus, I like how Kii Kana portrays Shun's feelings regarding his sexuality and how that affects his relationship with Mio. It's relatable.

KazuRei (Buddy Daddies)

I mean, this is practically canon, right? Well, at least queerplatonically (which we stan). Love our little found family. This anime had such a cute and goofy premise, how could I not fall for this ship?

(Honorable mentions: TodoDeku, TodoBaku, Labru, DabiHawks, Renga, VashWood, Kappa x Siren, Boyfriends, EraserMic, ItaFushi, InuOkko, ShokoHime, HaiNana, LeoPika, KudoIchi, TogaChako)

[zvtara-was-never-canon]

Me, reading some pro-Katara meta because I like the character.

The meta author: “The Legend of Korra” ruined Katara’s character! She was made Aang’s trophy wife, whose whole life is dedicated to taking care of him! She does not have a chance to fight! “The best healer” title is empty since she never succeeded in healing anyone, it is only used to show how strong the opponents are! She is not shown during the trial on Yakone or Jinora’s ceremony! She never got a statue! Bryke said that’s because she never did anything important aside from giving birth to and raising Aang’s kids! Only one of her kids cares about Southern Water Tribe culture, two other worship Air Nomads’ culture and think this one is more important! She’s such a great character, she deserves so much better!

Me, a fan of Katara: Okay, I kinda agree with the opinion on LoK, in this aspect it sucks. And if Bryke really said this thing, it sucks too. *starting learning to draw Katara to make a cool fanart with her sculpture and many other cool fanarts with her one day, because she deserves it and much more*

Me, not really a kataang shipper, reading some anti-kataang meta that I came across, because I am open to different opinions.

The meta author: We never see Katara’s POV on this relationship, only Aang’s! The kiss in “The Ember Island Players” was a horrible attack on Katara’s borders! Katara and Aang had a fight about killing Ozai and never resolved this conflict! And how can you ever ship two literal children, it’s immoral! Also, Aang is younger than Katara, he’s too immature for her! “The Legend of Korra” ruined Katara’s character! She was made Aang’s trophy wife, whose whole life is dedicated to taking care of him! She does not have a chance to fight! “The best healer” title is empty since …

Me: Well, the kiss in EIP really was not okay, and I would like to see some dialog about it before the finale. The talk solving the conflict would also be nice. I do think that this sweet embrace in the end is better than their final kiss, because yes, they are kids, I think it’s too early for them to kiss on the lips. But I know that the final kiss is important, cause this time it’s Katara making the first move, cause now Aang learned to respect her boundaries. Also, LoK sucks. With the rest I don’t agree, but people can have opinions that are different from mine…

Zutara fandom: Zutara is such a better alternative than kataang!

Me, also finding out that these meta authors – both pro-katara and anti-kataang - ship zutara: Okay, what can you offer instead?

Zutara fandom: Wouldn’t it be nice if Katara got her own chance to be a hero… by saving Zuko? Wouldn’t it be nice if Katara only ever cared for Zuko and looked after his every need? Wouldn’t it be nice if she married him and gave birth to one, two, three, four, five, six children? Also only ever helping the Fire Nation people? Wouldn’t it be nice if she cheated with Zuko on Aang? Wouldn’t it be nice if we draw zutara arts in canon setting, with Katara in Fire Nation clothes without anything blue at all/okay, some blue elements/okay, some epic or sexy blue dress that looks nothing like the Southern Water Tribe style shown in the “Avatar: the Last Airbender”, because with Zuko she will have absolutely no problems keeping her culture? Wouldn’t it be nice if she used bloodbending more often since despite everything we saw in the show there totally is something good about it?

Me: HOW ON EARTH THIS IS BETTER?! You know, I am growing more and more into kataang right now.

As usual, I won't comment on the Korra thing because it's been years since I last gave it a chance, and I can't remember much other than "I hate the knew characters and can barely recognize the old ones."

The very idea that we "Don't see Katara's side/interest in Aang/was never the one to make the first move before the finale" is already completely false and this fandom gotta stop repeating stuff Zutarians say without rewatching the show first.

She's immediately his best friend after meeting him, says she'll leave her tribe if he's banished (she obviously spoke without thinking and I doubt she would have done it, but still), and she says "The world can't aford to lose you to the Fire Nation, and neither can I" before he's taken away by Zuko. Her obvious affection for Aang right away is so obvious that Sokka immediately teases her by calling Aang her boyfriend.

She's jealous when he's paying more attention to his "fanclub" than to her in "Warriors of Kyoshi." She decided to kiss him on the cheek in "Bato Of The Water Tribe."

The kiss in "Cave Of Two Lovers" was her idea, she's offended when she thinks Aang is not interested, and blushing after they actually kiss. In "Bitter Work" she gets jealous when he calls Toph "Sifu", and glad when he does the same to her. She's visibly upset when Aang doesn't want to hug her in "The Serpent's pass" and is touched when he says she gives him hope. When he dies in "Crossroads of Destiny", Katara goes berserk - much like Oma did when Shu died, hence their musical theme as a couple being the same.

In "The Awakeing" She's clearly touched again when Aang realizes she didn't save his life at the last second, but actually brought him back from the dead, and is visibly grateful to her. She's jealous AGAIN in "The Headband" when she sees all the girls at the party being clearly charmed by him, and is then all cute, shy and flirty when they're dancing together. She's happy when he is proud of her for the whole "Painted Lady" thing. When he kisses her in the day of the eclipse, she's suprised but kisses back and blushes, and by the end of the episode is practically cuddling with him.

She only accepts Zuko into the group because Aang feels it would be the right thing to do, and she trusts him, and then THREATENS TO KILL ZUKO if he steps out of line and hurts her best friend again. And in Ember Island, when Aang full on asks her if it's true that she only sees him as little brother and would never even consider dating him, she says "I didn't say that, an actor said that"

A 14-year-old girl who had crushes on other boys (and ended up going nowhere) and is busy being a child soldier in the middle of a war being a little unsure if she likes her best friend or if she likes likes him is not the same as "She never demonstrated ANY interest in him." There moments of Kataang being one-sided (again, because Katara was into Haru and specially Jet for a little while), but it was always very clear that show was setting up a Kataang endgame - one Katara was clearly written to want.

Also I disagree with the "they're too young to kiss on the lips." I don't know if it's just a case of different cultures doing things differently, but at least in my experience here in Brazil, 12-14 years old is EXACTLY the age where most kids start actually acting on their crushes, dating, and kissing - I'm not even talking a quick, cutesy kiss, I'm talking "I witness the unpleasant sight of my classmates aggressively making out in/under the school's stairs more than enough times to realize I was not the only kid/pre-teen with hormones coming out my ears"

And about what Zutarians do to "fix" Katara, don't forget: she needs to lose any and all agency she had as character so she can be the damsel in distress Zuko will save.

[me-saw-hoo-dini]

Okay so some background info on why I made this account to begin with. I started watching the Banana Bus Squad/Vanoss Crew back in 2012 when they were playing Call of Duty and then I stopped watching them sometime in 2018 because I had simply lost interest. I still kept up with them when I would hear things (drama, allegations, relationships, children, etc) and then I actually started watching them again in 2023.

I blame Nogla for this because I stg he literally did start all of this (unless I dreamt it. If so I blame dream Nogla CUZ IT WAS SOME NOGLA) but back when I was first watching them there was some early GTA 5 video (IF ANYONE CAN FIND AND LINK ME THIS VIDEO with timestamp if you would be so kind I WILL LITERALLY BE FOREVER GRATEFUL) and Vanoss and Delirious were doing something stupid. From what I remember they were in a yellow industrial vehicle like a cherry picker basket and they were like falling over each other and laughing and in the background you can hear nogla repeatedly calling them gay. Not too long after that Nogla made that fucking “New YouTube Couple: H2OVanoss” skit (https://youtu.be/bT_tq_Xkg34?feature=shared) and I really started thinking about it and ya! Noglas right! These mfers are gay (not fr I’ll get into at the end)! Anyways that delved into me “pairing” them up with each other and reading fanfics (H2OVanoss, Terrorsnuckel, DathiDeCalibre, and MiniCat. I no longer ship MiniCat ofc cuz MiniLadd can rot in hell and honestly DathiDeCalibre is alright but just kind of fell off for me after lui’s accusations and the 12 years it took for me to find out if they were true or false) I had an account on instagram where I would post about bbs/vc and I made friends with people who also watched them AND also shipped them. Eventually we all grew apart and then I like a year later stopped watching bbs/vanoss crew.

In March of 2023 I had stopped watching another group of YouTubers I had been watching since 2020 when a Vanoss video was recommended to me. I watched it cuz “holy shit how are these guys doing?” And they were still hilarious like I remembered them to be and I’ve been watching them again since. That also means that I’m back into “haha silly ship” but I thought that the shipping side of this fandom had died cuz if I did see any fanart or fanfics they were from 2015-2020 but then Vanoss uploads his 2024 Christmas GTA 5 video (https://youtu.be/O5QusxUHZ6k?feature=shared) and BAM H2OVanoss moment, the comment section freaking out, and I check ao3 later to see if anyone is fast to write a fanfic and my god y’all ARE still writing fanfics! I didn’t see one last night about that video BUT YALL ARE STILL AROUND?? Not only that but one of the fic authors (I didn’t even read it yet I just really like the description and disclaimer) has a tumblr account (WHERE THEY ALSO POST FANART AND VIDEOS) and YOU GUYS ARE ALIVE IVE BEEN LOOKING EVERYWHERE FOR YALL BUT IN THE WRONG PLACES

IVE MISSED BEING HERE I AM SO BACK BABEYYY HIIIII

——————————————————————————

I just wanna clarify the basics before I go since this post and account is mainly going to be about shipping and even tho I’m crazy I’m not THAT crazy. It goes for all irl ships but I’ll mainly be talking about it as if it’s just bbs/vc

1) People ship different things and as long as it’s legal and or isn’t against someone involved’s boundaries idgaf what you ship. There are totally ships that I hate/don’t like of course but I know to avoid them/keep scrolling without saying anything.

2) If the people I ship together are in their own relationships irl I can not stress to you enough how happy I am for them. I love literally everyone’s irl partners like if they’re happy I’m pretty much overjoyed! I LOVE LOVE! If it makes sense to ship a literal irl relationship I do. I cried at Wildcat and Kelly’s wedding photos because I was/am so happy for them and I need Terroriser and Lanai to get married NEOOOOWW!!! (No actual pressure). Even with Delirious and Liz I, once again and even tho I wasn’t even watching him at the time, cried when Delirious announce they were going to have a kid; BOTH TIMES because I was/am so excited and happy for them and even tho they aren’t together anymore I still wish Liz nothing but the best and hope she is doing well. I am never gonna be one of those weirdos going “their irl partner is in the way of my ship” or “how dare you break whoever’s heart” cuz wtf is wrong with you that fucking WEIRD?? These are irl people and they’re happy and I’m not one of those freaks getting reality and fiction confused. And course break ups suck ya but that’s not anyone’s business to make their own; that’s between the people who were in the relationship!

3) If ever any of these guys come out and say they are uncomfortable being shipped, having shipping fanart of them, or any anything specific they do not like I will stop. Once again I’m not going to get reality and and fiction confused

4) I AM going to make some batshit parasocial (if I’m using that word correctly) posts like “I truly do believe that Vanoss does have a soft spot for Delirious” or like “Vanoss’s best friend (in the group) is probably either Lui, Terroriser, or Delirious” or stuff along those lines were I’m doing like a deep dive analysis and even tho YES I believe that I don’t really mean anything by it? I am DELUSIONAL and I like playing with and organizing my delusions. It’s more of probably going to be something that explains why I ship something like the first example I gave. It’s never gonna be like drama starting like “I believe the reason so and so and so and so don’t do this anymore is because so and so did this and-“ like nah nothing like that. I may or may not have discussions with people about things maybe but I’m never going to make a random ass “call out post” unless there’s legitimately a serious problem ya know. If you ever see a deep dive know it’s all for the sillies and that I know that I’m being delusional and reading too much into things that aren’t there (“struck by a flying ice cream truck— AND LIVE” head ass)

[nvrfearthefall]

Shadamy Week 2021: Day 3

First Meetings/ Cosmic

"How do we rewrite the stars? Say you were made to be mine?"

Whose to say they can never be? Canon??? Don't know her.

[olderthannetfic]

It’s time for me to be honest. (Btw this has nothing to do with language haha!) I am one of those ‘He’s mine!!’ fans that so often get slagged off. I guess the only difference is that I keep my mouth tightly shut and don’t publicly say such things.

I’d just like to explain my point of view and how I got there, even though my story is not at all representative of the ‘He’s mine’ crowd.

I’ve been a fictosexual since before puberty. I’ve had 3 great loves in my life, two during high school which both lasted a couple of years, then nothing in my 20s as it was the shit period of my life unlike what Instagram would have you believe, and now that things are settled down again and I’m an old lady in my early thirties, I’ve found the (fictional) love of my life and it’s been four intense years. Unfortunately, a long time after I fell hard for him it turned out he was a lot younger than me (though not underage) lol so that makes things…interesting and sometimes very spicy.

So here’s what I want to try and explain even though it doesn’t often make sense to myself either. People often look at those who ‘simp’ for fictional characters as it being like a temporary or silly crush. And for many it is. I’ve seen many, many mostly female fans obsess and post about my ‘partner’ (that’s what I’ll call him from now on) for months and then abruptly stop or get bored when a new show or media comes along. This is not it for me. I hate the term simp. While yes, humourously I’ll ‘simp’ or make horny posts about my partner, the feelings I have are just as intense, if not more intense, than I’d have for a real person. I’ve only met one other person, irl or online, who shares the same commitment and intensity of feeling for a fictional character. And before you start imagining me with some sort of merch shrine and a tacky body pillow which I take on dates or talk to or whatever, I hate to disappoint you but I’m not a ‘waifuist’ in that sense. The only merch I own are a Funkopop and a t-shirt.

When I met this character, I felt understood. I felt a deep and intense connection to his life experiences which in many ways mirrored my own and felt I instinctively understood his emotions, goals, thought processes etc. Many people think that this is the same as a celebrity crush. It’s not. We don’t get to know celebrities on a deep level. But for fictional characters we often do. We get to see how they feel, what they think, their opinions on things. We see them in their darkest and lowest moments, their most vulnerable and to me my partner became a real person in my mind, and no, not in a schizophrenic or ‘something not right with me neurologically’ type of way. I don’t hear his voice or hallucinate him there. It’s hard to explain. It’s just, to my mind he is real.

So, to me he is the love of my life. Imagine seeing your spouse or significant other romantically involved with another person. It fucking hurts. This is what I feel when I see people ship my partner with themselves or their OC. I feel like I have been betrayed and cheated on. It literally hurts in my chest and I have cried after seeing this type of fanart before. I also ship him with an OC that is not actually a direct self-insert and differs from me in several major ways. And I write fanfic. A lot of very smutty fanfic, but ironically only xReader type which has been very, very well received. In fact, I’d say I’ve written the most m/f smut for this character and have gained a modest but loyal readership. The thing I often get told is how much people love getting lost in my stories and how intimately connected they feel to him when they read my reader insert fics and how intense and emotional it gets. I don’t know why, but when people comment on my fanfics that it makes them fall in love with my partner even more I feel happy and proud that I could write something like that. In any other context it breaks my heart.

I never tell people, either in my fanfiction life or my canonxoc fanart life, that I am personally in love and attached to this man because I don’t want to be one of those people that seem to get so much eye roll and hate. I don’t want to come across as possessive and start drama. But in my mind, he is only mine. He is the thing that makes me most happy in the world, that got me out of depression and suicidality when I was unwell and going through chronic illness. And still keeps me going. I understand him and he understands me like nobody else. He is literally the embodiment of my perfect man.

And before anyone says I need to go outside and touch grass or get professional help…I am a well adjusted member of society. I have a complex job, a dog, own my own place, I visit my family and have a great group of friends. I am not sitting miserable and weird and alone in my dark room obsessively scrolling.

But please try to understand, for some of us, a very serious minority, this is real. The feelings we have are just like the feelings you would have for a real person. This isn’t a disorder and we don’t need ‘help’. It’s just our objects of affection are different to yours. And unfortunately, we have to share our soulmates with hundreds and thousands of others. This is why I can’t really participate in my fandom either, because I can’t keep seeing bad takes on him and seeing him shipped with others. But it’s ok. I’m happy in my world of smutty fanfic and fanart.

--

People elsewhere will judge because they think you should love a real person instead. Plenty of people around here can understand this depth of feeling for a fictional character just fine. It's the lack of ability to share that sets you apart.

[gunterfan1992]

Interview with Fan Artist loycos!

(Art by loycos)

So a few months ago, I was absent-mindedly scrolling on Tumblr (or was it Twitter?) when I came across something: an Adventure Time fan comic by an artist named loycos. As a person embedded in fan spaces, I find fanart like this all the time, but this time, there was something special about the art I was seeing. It was so... show-accurate!

I don’t mean that necessarily in regard to the art style (although it does feel right at home in the Land of Ooo, while still being its own thing with its own flourishes), but rather in relation to the characterization; the way loycos wrote the characters was spot on. She nailed PB and Marceline’s dynamic as former lovers who deep-down miss one another. She nailed Finn’s naive heroism and his one-sided crush on PB. She nailed Jake’s goofball energy. It was perfect.

In the past, I’ve only interviewed people affiliated with the show’s production, but I thought I’d mix things up a bit and reach out to some fan artists that I think are fantastic. As such, I’m delighted to share with you an interview I had with loycos, who answered my questions about her art, her history with Adventure Time, and where her work is headed!

What is your 'artistic origin' story?

[It’s] kind of a corny answer, but I've been drawing since I remember myself. My earliest drawing memories are drawing Clifford (the big red dog) fanart when I was around 5 y/o. I was always more of a "fangirl" artist, [and] I would draw characters from my favorite franchises to illustrate my headcanons and daydream scenarios I'd put them in. That hadn't changed one bit since. I had since gone on to study animation and illustration in official institutions which forced me to design characters and worlds of my own, but when I draw for myself it's always back to fanart (or studies). I don't have any OCs.

Are there particular artists or styles that you were inspired by and/or like to emulate or allude to?

I'd joke that my artstyle is just a mesh of all the franchises I've drawn fanart for over the years, but honestly, is it even a joke? I think you can easily recognize I had a Disney Phase like every other teenager (I didn't have an anime phase though! I know, I'm an anomaly) and [Steven Universe] definitely left it's fat mark on my style too. Out of [Steven Universe]'s storyboarding crew (which I followed very closely over the years) I especially love Raven Molisee and Jeff Liu for their wacky expressions and proportions, and of course Rebecca Sugar for their fluid and carefree lines. When it comes to art in general, I tend to prefer stylized, colorful and brushy styles over realistic or gothic ones, So people like Hue Teo and Patri Balanovsky pop to my mind (and my artstation feed, seriously look them up).

How do you approach your projects; what is your general art process?

It really depends on the type of project I'm doing, though, my [Adventure Time] comics were all pretty similar in their conception: I write down all of my ideas in my notes so I won't forget them. Then I either roughly sketch out the entire comic as fast as I can, or I write a script (if the concept is specifically very dialog heavy) and then sketch it roughly. Then I do the lineart and color, nothing too complicated. The one thing I think is worth noting in my long comic process is that I draw all of my panels on the same document- that way it's easier for me to make sure the characters stay on model and that my panel layout remains fresh. So basically, the way you read the comics on tumblr, as a long scroll, is the format I work on.

How did you come to find Adventure Time? What made you join the fandom?

Adventure Time is one of those shows you just know about, so I don't remember how I first found out about the show. However, I do remember when I started shipping Bubbline—after the episode “Broke His Crown” aired. I somehow ended up in their Tumblr tag and was blown away by the (by 2016's standards) blatant representation. Despite my obsession with them at the time, I never actually watched any episode that didn't feature the girls' relationship. I only started fully watching the show recently. But I did consume a lot of fan content, which I think helped me shape my own headcanons and such. After my initial interest in 2016 I put Bubbline back on the back burner and kept on my [Steven Universe] ramage, until last year's “Obsidian,” which brought me back fully on board the Bubbline decks around 2 weeks before it aired, so I was in maximum hype mode when I watched the special. It did not disappoint [and it] really reminded me of why I loved these characters and their relationship to begin with. I started drawing my own art for the ship shortly after, when I felt like the hype around the special died down and there wasn't much to keep me sustained anymore. I make what I want to see ;)

As for joining the fandom, I don't know if I can be considered a member, seeing how inactive I am most of the time and my very limited list of [Adventure Time] mutuals. I am extremely flattered that my stuff caught ATimers attention in a positive way.

You've done some amazing Bubblegum and Marceline stuff. What draws you to their dynamic?

I'm gay.

OK, seriously now. I have a soft spot for extremely feminine, dainty characters that are very reserved, so PB immediately marked herself as an obvious fav, and the road to shipping her with Marceline (who is such an obvious candidate and a multilayered, fascinating character herself) was a short one. I know calling PB dainty is far from a true statement, but that's what she appeared like on the surface and that's what caught my attention. Another thing is that I love relationships between immortal beings, I think it always adds another layer of complexity to any relationship, especially a romantic one. The whole "getting older without appearing like you've aged" and "watching everyone you love die around you while you stay the same" can surely make 2 beings bond, right? It always felt like PB and Marcy get each other in a way no one else can, they are very different on the surface but share fundamental internal similarities. Oh, and the fact that they're EXES? The romantic tension and the longing? The familiarity and banter they had in every scene they shared?This hit the jackpot on literally every relationship trope that I love. I'd much rather watch a "getting back together" than a "falling in love for the first time" story.

All of this and the fact that they [are] gay. It's really that simple sometimes.

In broad strokes, what is next for you as an artist and/or as a fan?

I have a few [Adventure Time] comics ideas\scripts on the back burner and one that is in the making. I think I'll dabble into some Nintendo fanart cause I've been playing a lot of Smash Bros and [Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild] lately.

I’m so excited to see what comes next! Either way, a huge thanks to loycos for chattin’ with me! If you’d like to check out more of her art, visit her Tumblr and her Twitter page!

[marunalu]

I read a post that said that Bakugou was rebellious because he lacked of freedom when he was young. Fandom called Bakugou antis illiterate because we don't understand his character but then say things like this and I wonder if we really are reading the same manga or they just live in their own world. Horikoshi himself says that Bakugou has one of the better childhood in bnha, he always has freedom to do wherever he wants. Indeed he was an spoil brat that did everything he did because anyone stopped him. This fandom really likes Bakugou or just like the fanon version that they created?

Exactly there are 2 different bakugous that exist in this fandom. The canon and the fanon version. While we “antis“ see the canon version of him, the one portrayed with all his flaws, but also of his (almost non-existent) few good sides, his strenghs and weaknesses, his stans only see the version they made in their head and contradicts the canon one. Canon bakugou loud and aggressive, doesnt care about the feelings of others and is selfish as hell, only cares enough for izuku not to kill him, but otherwise insults and abuses him, even after his grand apologie, was spoiled rotten and admired his whole life by his parents, teachers and classmates for his quirk and wants to be hero for fame, money and because he sees heros as winners. Fanon bakugou is a soft boy with a nicer language, is deeply in love with izuku, cares only for others not for himself, was abused by his mother, shunned out by society because of his “villain quirk“ and always wanted to be a hero to protect and safe people. Oh yeah, and he also has some kind of disorder that explains his bad temper AND he needs to be angry 24/7, because otherwise his heart stops beating (please dont ask me HOW they came up with this crap, I have no idea 😵).

Espicially the bakudeku shippers tend to create a lot of ridiculus head canons regarding bakugou to be able to justify their disgusting and abusive ship! Any person with working brain cells can see that bakugou is literally the LAST PERSON that should be in an romantic relationship! WHO wants a partner that screams at you the whole day for stupid reasons, hits and kicks you, insults you and thinks about himself most of the time??? No matter if its izuku, kirishima or ochako, ALL of them deserve better then this aggressive and temper tantrum having brat with the mentally of a 5 year old child, that constantly screams if things dont get the way he wants them to go! As long as bakugous personality doesnt make a 180 turn he should NEVER end up in a romantic relationship! Thats why he is so ooc in his fans fanfictions and fanarts! Thats why they include “soft bakugou“ or “nice bakugou“ in the tags, thats why so often inko is portayed as abusive in their works, because bakugou needs to be the one who saves izuku from his terrible mother. They create all this headcanons to make him look better then he is in the real story and after a while they start to believe that the fanon bakugou is the real one. They NEED to do this, because they know otherwise their ship has no fundament to stand on and could never work out! Deep down they know their ship is a big no-go!

It was similar with dabi. Before the touya reveal, his fans headcanon him as a mamas boy who deeply loves his siblings and just wants to protect his baby brother from his asshole father, he wants to kill. But it turned out dabi is in fact obssessed with his father, sees his mother as weak and blames her for his fire weakness, doesnt give a shit about his siblings and wants to kill his baby brother to get daddys attention! His fans were and to some degree still are in denial after that whole reveal! Its very similar with bakugou fans. They only love fanon bakugou they made up in their heads, not the real one from the manga!

[lovebecomeshim]

hello! your zutara posting today has finally motivated me to ask this question because I came to atla very late(last year, to be specific) and I Love It Very Much but am 1000% out of the loop as far as why what remains of fandom (at least that I've seen among my friends) is so very strongly zutara. I'm not opposed to it per se I just don't really know what has driven it to apparently be such a popular ship? can you help me understand and maybe convert me a little bit?

Hey!! Your ICON! :D I can try but I’m not sure how coherent I’ll be; however I AM sure someone a lot more competent will be willing to add to this. Either way, I’m glad you asked because my plan was to drag down as many people as possible with me.

*smacks the hood of zutara* this baby can fit so much mutual love and support!

This got so long, I’m so sorry. I don’t know how to put it under a cut on mobile and it already got deleted once so I’m scared to mess with it lol. Moving on.

I’m gonna start this with a disclaimer that im on mobile so formatting is tricky and I’m also really new to atla in that I only completed my first watch through in like 2019??? So some of my info is all just based on what I’ve picked up from Discourse 👀 so anyway the sparknotes version: zutara was wildly popular from the beginning. To the point where the atla crew internally disagreed on which ship should be endgame. (Ex. Bryke [showrunners] asked the writers to rewrite The Southern Raiders to make Zuko seem less ideal for Katara than Aang [which failed, depending on who you ask]; the animation team purposefully created a visual parrallel between Oma and Shu in the Cave of Two Lovers and Zuko and Katara in the catacombs under Ba Sing Se in the Crossroads of Destiny; etc.)

The ship was popular enough that Bryke actually chose to display zk fanart at a con for the sole purpose of mocking the fans, but that’s neither here nor there. The entire episode Ember Island Players, while a love letter to/parody of the whole show, was an opportunity to address zutara’s viability as a canon pairing (while, again, mocking zutaras for romanticizing that catacombs scene). Point is! It’s always been popular but with it not being endgame, there’s got to be something that’s given it staying power.

And that’s honestly got to do with three things: their dynamic, thematic cohesion, and potential.

(You know what... you know what, it’s four things. The fourth is they’re so aesthetically pleasing together and individually. Like, they’re just good looking people [specifically when they’re grown but they’re also cute kids] and that absolutely doesn’t hurt) (but it’s not the Point, it’s just nice to point out sometimes)

The dynamic is hard to get into without also looking at the canon pairings, but I think I can do that without unnecessary bashing. It’s just that part of the magic of zutara is really highlighted by what they give to each other that their other relationships don’t.

First off, it’s classic enemies to (would be) lovers. The absolute truest form of it. It’s not too different from how CS started out: a rogue antagonist with a job to do—but no personal vendetta against the future love interest—who is deeply and emotionally invested in his personal storyline (revenge/redemption) with little regard for how it effects other people after his entire life and genuine good nature are marred by suffering, and a fierce warrior girl with a strong moral compass and her own personal investment in stopping him (protect her family and save the world doing it). Obviously frustration and animosity grew between them by the nature of them being on opposing sides, but that just lends itself to the sweetness of their later reconciliation.

The thing is that while they’re wildly different on the surface (he’s a hot-headed prince of a fascist regime who is trying to capture the Avatar to please his father; she’s a nurturing daughter of the chief who is trying to protect and train the Avatar in order to topple his father’s throne) they find out that they have so much more in common both in their experiences and their personalities.

(What follows is an excessive use of the word “both” and I’m sorry about that)(I can edit it. I can do that. That IS an option............)

They both have an innate sense of justice that they are determined to see done (zuko, at the war meeting, sticking up for the Earth Kingdom kid when the guards torment his family, choosing not to steal from the pregnant couple despite his circumstances, abiding by his word to leave the SWT should Aang come willingly, etc.; katara, literally.... at any point). They both have pretty one-track minds at accomplishing certain goals once they’ve put their mind to it, regardless of a lack of support in that endeavor (it goes without saying I guess, but zuko’s entire hunt; katara’s determination to get the earth benders to fight back, her determination to absolutely destroy Pakku until he agrees to teach her, etc.). They both lost their mothers at young ages. Their worlds are war-torn and traumatizing to them both, if in different ways, but that ultimately forces them to grow up too quickly to be wholly independent individuals. They both have issues with their fathers (for WILDLY different reasons, but). They both hold extreme prejudices that they need to learn to overcome (which ties into thematic cohesion)(bit like Lizzie and Darcy in that way but magnified by a million). They’re both extremely emotional and empathetic—which can and often does result in loud outbursts. Katara’s a bit better adjusted and can temper her anger for longer than S1 Zuko can, but they both feel that anger deeply and have no compunctions expressing it (Katara is, usually, more justified, particularly in S1. Again, S1 Zuko is severely maladjusted but at the point when they could’ve feasibly become a couple, he’s so much better off with the way he carries himself). They both struggle with feelings of inferiority in their bending abilities when confronted with prodigal benders like Aang and Azula, but have the work ethic required to double down and become two of the most powerful benders in the three remaining nations. This is a little more minor but it is a parrallel that appeals to some shippers that they both have these alter egos in the Painted Lady (notably fire nation coded) and the Blue Spirit (water tribe coded) that are pretty different from who they are day-to-day and are useful in accomplishing a purpose that they as themselves cannot.

(I’m.... I just realized that this could potentially get very long. Should I have made a slide show with bullet points??????)

Anyway, similar. I know there’s more but there’s literally so much to love about zutara that I’ll drive myself a little crazy trying to compile all the ways they’re similar. (Just gonna say that at this exact moment I went back to add more similarities.... so okay then)

Once they’ve reconciled, we see how all of these things only lend themselves to a deeper intimacy together than they share with literally anyone else. There’s a steady partnership that positions them as the mom/dad of the gaang, while also providing the support necessary to allow the other to not have to carry so much responsibility. A lot of zutaras will point out how zuko is actually depicted doing the more domestic chores that are normally relegated to Katara once he joins the gaang, since the others in the group are two 12-year-olds and sokka. The one that sticks out the most is how he makes tea for the group and then serves them, while Katara is able to just relax with her friends around the fire. Fanon expands upon this a lot to Zuko helping with the laundry or the cooking or whatever else needs doing since he, as a once-refugee, is used to doing his own domestic tasks. Before Zuko joined, Katara was the one mothering everyone, sewing for them, cooking for them, etc. She’s always tending to the needs of the group, and that includes emotionally. She does the emotional labor for the gaang 99% of the time, but when she’s the one falling apart, she’s usually doing it alone and without the comfort that she normally provides for others. Until Zuko. And that’s before they’re even friends.

Which is WHY people romanticize the catacombs of Ba Sing Se so much. Katara is verbally attacking Zuko out of her own righteous anger but also her own prejudice when Zuko, surprisingly, chooses to be vulnerable with her. He’s been on a journey that’s opened his eyes a bit, but he’s never actively chosen to expose the rawest parts of his past to anyone. But for some reason he chooses to do that with Katara of all people. While she’s yelling at him. He sees her humanity, and for once can look past his prejudice and empathize with her. And this time, when she breaks down, she gets to be comforted. Katara normally talks about her mother when she’s trying to explain to someone else that she sees and understands they’re pain, as a form of comfort to them. Here, Zuko uses the exact same tactic. He sees her and he understands. And for zuko? He’s not being shut down. He’s allowed to articulate his pain regarding his mother without being ignored and made to internalize it, and he’s allowed to process how he feels about his scar out loud without being told that he deserved it. And then he lets her touch his scar, something we’ve seen him actively avoid before. He’s completely open to her and she’s completely open to him and all it took was one five minute conversation. She was about to use the little bit of Spirit water that she had, that she was saving for something Important, to heal the scar that still daily causes him pain just because they had, somehow, connected.

Plus there’s the whole parallel to the star-crossed lovers forbidden from one another, a war divides their people—

And then zuko messes up, he regresses, he gets what he wants and he HATES it. And the sense of justice he had as a child has been restored to him against his will and he can’t think of anything he wants to do more than the Right Thing, so he joins team avatar. Before he does that though, we get to see his relationship with Mai, which is where comparison really comes in. And what we see is Zuko, fresh off of his encounter with Katara in the catacombs, trying to be emotionally honest with Mai... and getting shut down and dismissed. Which is just how Mai is and it’s fine, but not for Zuko. Still, he keeps trying, and he keeps getting ignored or scoffed at or yelled at. Which is really a larger symbol for how he doesn’t fit in his old life anymore, but again that’s about thematic cohesion. He tries to articulate his anxieties about returning home, he tries to make romantic gestures, he tries to explain how morally conflicted he’s feeling—and Mai diverts to some kind of physical affection to shut him up and a parting comment that is pretty much always, in essence, “I don’t wanna talk about this.” So they don’t. On the other hand, once zuko and Katara are friends, we see him again emotionally distraught and caught up in his anxieties about facing Iroh, and it’s Katara who comes to him and listens to him and comforts and encourages him.

Similarly, we have Aang clamming up and getting uncomfortable whenever Katara shows any negative emotion, usually resulting in him making excuses or running away. Or, in the case of the Southern Raiders, lecturing her on how she needs to just let go of her anger about her mother’s murder. People have talked this episode to death and usually better than I ever could, so imma... keep it brief. There’s a serious disconnect between Aang and Katara in his ability to empathize with Katara and her needs that has her tamping down her vulnerability and amping up her anger. He tells her that he was able to forgive his people’s genocide and appa’s kidnapping (petnapping? Theft??), which is blatantly not true but also not an entirely equal parrallel to Katara’s situation, and continues making these little remarks throughout the episode. But it’s Zuko that Katara opens up to. It’s with him that she’s able to talk about the most traumatic day of her life, and it’s with him that she’s able to get the closure she needs, cementing their bond as friends and partners. This disagreement between Aang and Katara is then... never resolved. They just never bring it up and hear what the other is saying.

There’s a fic called The Portraits of Ember Island that has a line that so completely sums up the heart of the matter for why people love their dynamic. For context, zuko has woken up early to help Katara with the cooking and they spend the whole time just letting one another talk, and zuko stops to ask why she always just lets him talk. And so she stops to ask why he’s always helping, and it goes as follows:

There’s just... so much mutual support! Trust! Intimacy!! And it just continues like that from the Southern Raiders on, listening to each other, advising each other, watching each other’s backs! And then! Literally saving each other’s lives!! I will never be over the last Agni kai. Not ever. Zuko may have been willing to jump in front of lightning for anyone, but he actually did it for Katara. And in a show, that’s the thing that really matters. It’s a fulfilled trope usually exclusively applied to romantic pairings, and it ended up applying to Zuko and Katara. And then she ran out into the middle of a fight with tunnel vision just to get to him.

Also!! Also Zuko pushing Katara out of the way of the falling rocks at the Western Air Temple!! And Katara catching him as he fell from the war balloon that he fought Azula on!! Before they’re even getting along, they’re the ones reaching for each other. They come to this place of equal ground, as partners, who watch each other’s backs, call each other out but still listen attentively and understand, and provide the support that the other has been sorely lacking up until they knew each other (whether that be from lack of effort or lack of understanding from others, or an unwillingness to accept it for themselves).

Then, trailing along under the surface of this, we see the themes of the show totally embodied by Zuko and Katara as individuals and in their relationship to one another. There’s a YouTuber, sneezyreviews, who has a, like, 2-hour explanation on why she not only loves zutara but also believes that their endgame would’ve actually elevated the writing of atla to new levels particularly because of thematic cohesion and resolved character arcs. It’s the zutara dissertation I never knew I needed, and it’s funny and eloquent and effective, so I’m just going to sum up her section on thematic cohesion to the best of my abilities and then link it for whenever you have the time. And I HIGHLY recommend it, especially if you want a full understanding of what makes zutara so great and gives it such longevity.

Guru pathik has a line that goes something like this: separation is an illusion; things that seem different are just two parts of the same whole. Iroh also tells Zuko something similar: balance and strength are achieved when the different nations come together and influence one another and celebrate what makes them each unique. And this lesson is a massive central arc that both Zuko and Katara go through, moving past a black-and-white, good guys-vs-bad guys, us-vs-them mentality and into a greyer, more nuanced view of the world. Zuko sees the fire nation from an entirely new perspective and while he still loves and hopes for his nations future, he surrenders his blind loyalty to them in exchange for an unflinching loyalty to peace and love. Katara too had to come to terms with the fact that cruel people exist in the earth kingdom and water tribes, while some fire nation citizens are just regular, kind people who also need and deserve to have someone speak on their behalf. And this is honed in directly on how they view each other. They grow in their individual journeys to be open to the humanity in the other and then, once they’ve found that, they’re able to grow more in compassion for others in a beautiful feedback loop. And this is all matched in the symbolism repeatedly and intentionally associated with them in canon: sun and moon, fire and water, yin and yang, Oma and Shu who found love despite their warring nations. Their individual arcs are completed in each other and complement the themes of atla beautifully.

The canon pairs... just don’t. Which, again, is fine. But the very things that give atla longevity and popularity are anchored in zutara. Kat@ang doesn’t accomplish this. They’re... nice. Sweet. Especially when you erase a good portion of their interactions in S3. It could’ve been just a sweet love story. (Personally, the dynamic between toph and aang accomplish the same thing that zutara does, with complementary personalities that fulfill the theme of opposites blending in harmony) M@iko, on the other hand, is less sweet but I think wasn’t even supposed to last. Zuko’s relationship with Mai seems to represent his relationship with his old life as a whole. He can’t be emotionally vulnerable, he’s goaded into abusing his privileges, his agency and opinions aren’t respected. They just don’t have common ground with which to discuss anything that matters, so they don’t. As far as themes, the relationship doesn’t fit with atla. It’s zuko returning to and sticking with what is (on the surface) like him, what’s expected. Fire nation with fire nation. Fluid water bender with the flexible air bender. Like with like, separated from what is different and challenging and complementary.

And all of these things combined of course lead to the potential for the ship. I don’t know how familiar you are with the post-atla canon but... well, miss “I will never turn my back on people who need me”, miss “I don’t want to heal! I want to fight!” ends up living quietly in the SWT as a designated healer who turns a blind eye to the water tribe civil war happening right outside her front door. Which can be fine! People change! Some people just wanna stay inside. I just wanna stay inside! But the potential future for zutara is so much more satisfying, with Katara becoming the most unconventional Fire Lady the uppity old cads who are stuck on the old ways have ever seen. Fanon has her serving as a voice for the other nations within a kingdom at the point of its biggest political upheaval, as a confidante to Zuko who can actually help him while he’s trying to figure out how to move forward and make reparations. They have the opportunity, together, to accomplish what they both have set on their hearts to fight for: positive change that lends itself to harmony and balance. And the steambabies! A popular headcanon is that their firstborn daughter, the crown princess, is actually a waterbender, which causes such an uproar among the people who are adamantly clinging to the old ways. It’s just a future full of potential to be forces for good together, full of trust, intimacy, joy. The exact era of peace and love and balance that zuko announces that he intends to ring in with the start of his reign as Fire Lord is, again, magnified by the very personal zutara relationship. And we love to see it.

tl;dr zutara isn’t for everyone. Some people just don’t vibe with it. Some are nostalgic. Some love the canon they grew up with. Some have been disappointed for years. Some just see themselves in other characters and want their happiness instead. Whatever the reason, that’s fine. But for me, I love the way these two, from the moment they give each other a fair chance, are able to lower their walls and prejudices to see the other for the kindred spirits they are. They see each other’s humanity, and their response is to pour out love and support and compassion. I love that they’re a power couple in battle. I love the symbolism and, honestly, soulmatism that colors their every interaction. I love that they embody the whole storyline of atla in their relationship and how it develops, which is notably why their seasonal arcs always culminate in each finale with how they relate to one another. I love that zuko adopting a waterbending move is what actually saves his life and then katara’s. I love the chemistry! And I love the future they could’ve had, instead of the ones they were given.

So, in conclusion: I just think they’re neat and I hope you do too, at least a little bit. Even if it’s just respectfully from a disinterested distance cause you do you. And now here is the video I mentioned. I’m sorry this post got so long and then I gave you an even longer homework assignment, but I can’t recommend it enough. She says it all better than I can.

[loquaciousquark]

Talks Machina Highlights - Critical Role C2E116-119 (Dec. 15, 2020)

Hi! I missed the first three minutes or so and opened the stream to Brian giving an absolutely incoherent ...ad? for some jewel game? Six thousand jewels just for logging in? Some app in the app store and he’s literally been talking about this now for six minutes and I don’t know what he’s talking about. He finally wraps up, Laura brings the show to a close, and we’re all a little worse than we were before.

Ashley tries to get us back on track and Henry bays over her. Brian tries to ask the first question and breaks off into feigned sobs halfway through. This is chaos incarnate.

Tonight’s guests: Laura Bailey & Ashley Johnson.

How’s Yasha feeling right now about Molly? She and Jester both are desperately curious about whether there’s a spark of Molly left in Lucien that can be brought back. It’s not the same as when Yasha was controlled by Obann; this seems more like just the way this is now. They’d settle for even finding the good in him, like they did with Essek. Brian jokes that they can monitor his mental state if Matt’s Irish accent starts to slip a little bit.

Jester is a little wary about scrying on Lucien now since he’s able to see her back.  She’s interested to try again now that Fjord’s given her the necklace.

Ashley has to run and grab a replacement set of headphones from Brian after hers get “crunchy.” It’s pretty cute seeing them run around and smooch on another screen. Brian teases that he doesn’t have any more questions for Jester since Caduceus has been doing all the healing lately. Laura tells us indignantly that she had Heal prepared for Caduceus in that last big fight, but Fjord got to Cad first. Brian explains how this is the same as all the good jokes he always lines up for Talks but never tells. Ashley’s crunchiness continues and we go briefly to a technical difficulties screen while Brian hops up to fix it.

Dani pips in to get this show back on track. Save us, Dani!

Ashley hadn’t thought about the aspect of Lucien controlling his friends’ minds, but finds it really creepy. It’s a cool game dynamic, and it’s a little different because they’re there willingly, but it’s really weird.

Jester thinks that “the tarot cards know all. She wants to buy into it real hard.” If it doesn’t make sense now, it will later. Laura has an Idiot’s Guide to Tarot Reading.

They’re super interested in why Aeor is like it is. Were they more advanced than us? Did they evolve along a different line? Ashley loves sci-fi and is all about this, especially since she wasn’t there for Happy Fun Ball time & hasn’t been able to get caught up on some of the things she missed in between, so she’s using this as an erstwhile replacement. She can already tell there are some things from this campaign that will bother her the way the unopened box did from C1. She and Laura both seethe at the camera about having to leave the spider behind.

Cosplay of the Week! Harland3r on instagram with a gorgeous winged Pike with a shield & mace. It’s an incredible photo and the wings look great.

Travis distracts Laura by dancing like a Trex offscreen. That seems right for this episode.

Jester’s encouragement of Yasha pursuing Beau was important in a lot of ways, not least because Ashley considered herself as uninterested in D&D romance as Travis & was a little unsure of activating a romance among her friends. However, it felt really natural within the game and it was really helpful to have Jester’s in-game encouragement. Yasha’s grown a lot and is in a much more positive place and is ready to find out what’s possible. Laura: “Jester from the get-go has seen Yasha as this wonderful soul from the beginning, and has seen how sad Yasha’s been through everything, and to see the difference that she exhibits when talking about Beau is drastic and wonderful. Jester’s joy in life is helping others find joy.”

Ashley points out it’s also so fun to “yes-and” with Laura because you’re like a little kid being dragged along by the hand - you don’t know where it’s going, but you know it’s going to be fun along the way.

Ashley does have a sense of “thank goodness Marisha isn’t jumping right into this” so she can coax herself into it, but when she tried to figure out the poem she had a lot of drafts that didn’t survive. She intentionally crafted the letter to give Beau an out if she didn’t feel the same way. There’s a lot going on with Lucien right now and there’s constantly a running thought in the back of her head about “maybe Beau is not into this.” Even the last couple episodes with Jester & Fjord have had Ashley finally understand shipping.

Brian brings us to the moment “almost as romantic as the pre-season finale of the Bachelorette.” Jester was “goo” afterwards. Early on in the campaign, Jester was very forward with her flirtations with Fjord & he shut her down. And then he kissed her underwater and immediately went and slept with Avantika, and Jester automatically shut herself down, because she thought she was misunderstanding & would only be hurt by those emotions. She deliberately focused on just being there with her friends, making everyone healthy and happy. These last few episodes where Fjord was flirting back felt like “my teenage heart again, my first kiss, the boy I like actually likes me back!” and she was able to open back up.

Yasha definitely has some instrument plans for those bones. She doesn’t know if she’s going to add to her harp or create a new one.

Ashley and Laura cheer about Travis stepping out his comfort zone. Laura thinks it was really good that he was doing it with her, his real-life wife, to see if he likes that sort of stuff in his D&D campaign. “It was just so sweet. It was just so sweet.” Brian says he’s actually a really romantic dude & Dani is so glad he asked before the kiss. Brian: “It’s going to be so sad when he breaks your heart and goes back to the corpse of Avantika.” Laura: “It’s fine, Jester will be long dead by then anyway.”

Jester does believe the four-year time trade was worth it, but that the city leaves “a mark on your brain,” especially as in-depth as she saw it. “Jester’s always been reticent to talk about her age because she’s aware she’s perceived in a juvenile way by a lot of people, and she’s insecure about that. She grew up by herself without a lot of social interactions and is experienced in a lot of ways now and naive in others; she’s very aware of human emotion around her, but chooses to see it in a certain way.” Losing the time makes her wonder if she needs to grow up & become an adult about certain things now. Laura: “I think actually she’s closer to Fjord’s age now. Actually, I’m not sure about his age. I don’t know how old he is - I’ve never even asked Travis!” Brian: “I think he’s definitely fifteen.” Laura: “Travis, how old is Fjord?” Travis, off-screen: “Sixty-five,” but he’s had the Mask of Many Faces up this whole time. Later, he adds that he’s in his early 30s.

Ashley has really enjoyed digging into Yasha’s more humorous side lately. It’s how she gets comfortable as a player, making it fun and light in a way that this year needs. “It’s also really funny to think that Yasha doesn’t know how Message works.”

Brian congratulates Laura & Ashley both on their game awards nominations. Brian vamps trying to get himself in as the presenter, but incidentally refers to Laura as his sister in the conversation and it’s super cute. “I would like to be the one to give the award to either my fiancee, or my sister!”

Fanart of the Week: @ethanmaldridge with an illustrated page from the Katzenprinz book. It’s just beautiful.

Jester’s polymorph gambit was terrifying, but the stakes got even higher when everyone else got stunned. She does lament choosing a bunny at the start. “Frickin’ Fjord’s armor!”

Yasha loves being polymorphed lately. She thinks it’s kinda funny, especially given her rigid upbringing with such defined roles.

Laura feels like Jester and Vex are weirdly two halves of herself. Brian: “You see the very bargainy, I’m gonna use my wit & smarts to negotiate situations. But at the same time, you’re very open to what people are thinking & feeling and navigating that. What you end up putting out (though it comes across as innocent and naive) is something pure because she truly believes it.” Laura thinks Yasha and Pike are the same way for Ashley, though Ashley feels a little closer to Yasha right now. Sometimes you just feel really exposed. Laura compares how much idealism she put into Jester to her character from Fruits Basket.

Since Yasha didn’t belong to either side in the war, she’s not hugely concerned by the fallout; she more wants to make sure her found family are okay and safe. Jester is the same way, Laura tells us. Jester doesn’t have any greater vision of the Empire & Dynasty interacting; she cares about the people, and it hasn’t been until the vision with the city that she kind of woke up and realized they have to really stop this now. It feels bigger than the Dynasty/Empire. Ashley: “It seems more of a thing for Beau and Caleb to care about.”

Really, up to now Jester was mostly concerned about getting Molly back, but now the stakes seem much higher. “We have to do this. We have to complete this, to beat them, to keep them from doing this.” Yasha is just going with the flow for now. There’s a lot coming at them and they are ready to find out what’s next.

And that’s that for tonight! Brian thanks the crew especially for working incredibly hard on switching everything to home-based streaming. He then gets stuck halfway spinning around in his chair and the last thing we hear is him idly wondering “What’s Fjord taste like?” which seems pretty on brand for tonight’s show. Is it Thursday yet?

[princessofprocrastination]

Nothing But Hatred (GeorgeNotFound)

MASTERLIST 

pairing : georgenotfound / george davidson x reader

summary : you had nothing but love for people, even strangers. so how could george hate you so much? 

a/n : long imagine? i owe you guys this. also, happy new years!

you were taught since young to love people. 

“you don’t know what they have gone through before.” your mum always reminded you whenever you would complain to her about someone. 

and since then, the quote stuck to you. it was planted in your head even more when she passed away. you couldn’t describe the pain to other people. 

your dad also left the earth soon after her, following suite. his last words to you in the hospital were “i know you can take care of yourself, i believe in you. always.” you just turned eighteen then. 

since you were a legal adult, the house was automatically yours. now, you’re twenty-one, and since then, you have moved out. 

you found yourself a decent sized house. born and raised in florida, you couldn’t bring yourself to leave the country, or state, that is. that’s just one thing you couldn’t bring yourself to do. 

you often forget that you’re on your own, no parents. born the only child, no siblings. and since you are a legal adult and everyone thinks you’re all good on your own, seeing that you have done many things on your own, your relatives don’t pry in your life. 

no, you weren’t lonely, if you say so yourself. you and dream, or clay, as you call him are best friends. literally platonic soulmates. you met him when you both are seventeen. he stayed with you through everything. 

when he started blowing up on social media, you were ecstatic. but you would often jokingly brag to him that you blew up way before he did. 

you didn’t understand why people watched you, if you were being honest. clay would say that it’s because of your charming and kind self that brought so many supportive people. you don’t agree. 

you never once pried in clay’s life. in social media and in real life. who’s his friends are his and you never would try to come across that. your friends and yours and his friends are his. simple. 

when clay blew up, no one knew that the two of you even knew each other, let alone best friends. they found that out weirdly. somehow they heard clay screaming in your kitchen when you were streaming. that clearly was a common occurrence for you since you barely even acknowledged it. 

yes, before anyone asks, there were shipping comments immediately after that. but, you two talked about it on stream, about how you two were nothing but amazing friends. but neither of you mind the ship comments. the fanarts have always been so incredible. 

being the biggest supporter of clay, or dream, you watched every single stream, video, liked posts of his, so you knew who his friends were. 

although you told clay that you didn’t want to pry into his life, he begged you to talk to his friends. you clicked so well with everyone. beside george. you didn’t understand it at first. whenever you’d watch his streams, he’d seem so nice and welcoming. 

but somehow, whenever you’d join in their discord or play in the dream smp, his tone would change drastically. 

after some time, you got the memo. he just didn’t like you. and you accepted that. not everyone would like you, so you backed off. you gave excuses to clay if george was present. 

you didn’t want to be the one interrupting his stream or be the cause of his mood change. so you stayed away, and so far, it had been better that way. 

you and clay were different in some ways. everyone is. but to be more specific, he made his money off of social media. and no, this wasn’t to say that he is below you. in fact, he was lucky that he got to do that. 

and this also didn’t meant that you couldn’t live off of your streaming money, you just rather do something other than social media. you wanted to make sure that if one day your social media career were to flop, you’d have a backup plan. 

but you didn’t want to put your degree to waste. your mum used to tell you all the time to study all while you are still young, so that you don’t regret it when you’re older. 

so that is what you did. you spent your years studying psychology, something you’ve always wanted to do. and in your free time, you’d stream or make videos. you didn’t tell that to the public, wanting that part of you to be private and away from social media. 

and one more thing, you never once brought up the loss of your parents to the public. you wanted people to like you for you, and not want them to like you for pity. hence, no one besides clay knew about your parents. 

and lucky for you, clay understood and no one had brought up any questions about your parents. they just knew you lived alone. 

you sat on clay’s bed, on your laptop, typing in important paperwork that had to be done from home. he invited you over. he told you he was lonely and that he needed the company. and in exchange of your company, he’d buy the both of you takeout for dinner. 

so you agreed. you told him that you being there would make no difference since you would be sat in the corner doing work anyways but he still begged you to come, saying that he didn’t mind it, that he just wanted you to be there. 

that is another common occurrence. there are days when he just needed someone to be there with him, in the same room. you never asked why but you enjoyed the company too, so you never bothered to know. 

as you sat on his bed typing, he was on his desk recording a minecraft hitmen video for his youtube with george, sapnap and badboyhalo. you could feel the nerves coming from him. 

he did need to pay his friends if he lost, after all. not that he cared about money but his ego was too big to lose now. 

you heard him bang his desk as he won, somehow by flying a boat. your best friend was a genius anyways, so you were not surprised that he did something new. 

now they were just talking on discord, you still typing on your laptop, unmoving from your spot on his bed. 

“you hungry?” clay asked you, to which you didn’t reply, since you were too focused into your work. he called your name another two times before you stopped typing and looked up at him. 

you shook your head, and pointed to your laptop, telling him that you just wanted to get this done before the two of you ate. he continued talking to his friends after that. 

“yeah she’s here. i just needed the company.” you heard him say. you knew he was talking about you. his friends probably asked who he was talking to earlier, anyway. 

“george, stop.” you heard him say. your heart sunk a little. you could hear the conversation going on in discord. you had heard george saying something along the lines of ‘if she’s here i’m out.’

that really hurt, but you knew you had to suck it up. “i’ll leave, it’s okay.” you said, closing your laptop and picking up your stuff. 

“wait, don’t leave. he’s jok-” 

“i’ll see you another day, clay. go have fun.” you cut his sentence, smiling at him as you left his room, and place. 

as you sat in your car, driving home, you wondered if you were really unlikeable. clay always said that you are the nicest person he’s ever met yet you never believed him. this was the reason. why did his friend hate you so damn much?

you tried to push it to the back of your mind. you parked your car in your house garage, but stayed in the car. 

at this time you wished you had your parents still. death comes to everyone at some point, and you knew that. but it felt unfair, not having both your parents. you wished you still had them to talk to, to hug and cry to whenever you had a bad day.

weeks pass since that uneventful day and you are not having the best day. 

to sum it up, you went to work early, ready to meet your mentor, to teach you the way around your workplace. however, your mentor had called in sick and apologized to you. 

everyone gets sick so you didn’t blame her. but that would mean that you had to do things on your own, no one to guide you, so you were lost constantly. this also meant that you were screamed at a lot. 

they called you names, saying that you are useless, slow, lazy, and that you are just a pretty face but you didn’t have the brains to work professionally. sure, that hurt. but at the end of the day, this was what you wanted, so you continued, you pushed through all the mean words. 

you went home with a heavy heart. you were exhausted, mentally drained as well. you facetimed clay on your way home, when you were driving to tell him everything. you just needed to let it out. 

he told you to go home and relax, that you would be all good tomorrow. 

at first, you believed him, but then you felt like you weren’t feeling any better, so you decided to stream. 

“i just showered, please ignore my wet hair.” you told chat as you started your stream. 

as the hour passes, you started to feel better. clay watched your stream, donating you at times to ask you questions. 

your phone goes off, signaling someone calling you. you picked up, knowing it was clay anyways since no one else would call you at 10pm. 

“discord.” he told you and hung up. 

“wow, not even a hi. what a friend.” you told your chat while you got in discord. 

you silently went in, not greeting anyone. you had a feeling that it isn’t just clay in the call. 

“there she is.” sapnap called you out. you said hi to all of them, even george, who you knew was in the call too. he only grumbled a reply to you. 

you guessed that george streaming since sometimes he would talk to himself, not muted. sapnap told you to join the smp and play with them, to which you agreed since the night was still young anyways. 

you spawned at sapnap’s house somehow, but walked across the smp towards where the rest of them were. you heard george say something as your character walked closer to them, you were still in the discord call, anyways. 

“dream, why did she need to be here?” you heard him say.

“maybe cause i’m his best friend?” you replied, innocently. you didn’t realize that you saying this would cause a huge problem, or could potentially lead to a fight between the boys and you. 

“i’m his best friend, you butt off.” he says, somewhat using an angry tone. 

“wait, i didn’t mean to-” you tried to say but was cut off by george. 

“you’re literally so fucking annoying. i don’t understand how clay can stand you.” he almost shouted. 

you could feel the tears coming, but you tried your best to keep it in, not wanting to cry on stream, especially with your facecam on. 

“george, language.” bad told him off, trying to ease the tension. 

“no, no. i’m not going to just sit and keep quiet anymore. i don’t like her here.” george starts another sentence.

“i’ll go.” you tried to say, voice small.

“georg-” clay tries to stop him before it goes too far. 

“chat says she’s about to cry? well go cry to your mum, don’t waste your time here on the smp.” he scolds. 

fuck. that one really hurt. “george what the fuck.” you heard clay say before you silently left the smp and discord chat.

you still had your stream. you didn’t want to disappoint so you still kept your stream going, trying not to cry. 

you connected your ipad to your laptop so they could see what you were up to. you decided to draw since you didn’t feel like going on your own world in minecraft. 

“chat, i drew this of sapnap the other day cause i was bored.” you showed them, zooming in the drawing on your ipad. 

your intention was to only show chat your drawing of sapnap but you didn’t realize that you accidentally clicked off that drawing, and showed a different drawing on stream.

“oops, you weren’t suppose to see that, chat.” you told them as you clicked back from the drawing you accidentally showed them. specifically, you had shown them a drawing of george that you made. 

“calm down, chat. i draw everyone.” you tried to ease the comments that arrived to your stream. 

“i even drew dream but that’s in my private section cause you guys haven’t seen his face yet.” you told them. 

the comments were positive. some of them were telling you to post it on twitter, that the boys would appreciate it. “oh my god, chat. fine i will, i’ll post them right now.” 

you went on twitter and posted every single drawing of them, even clay’s but you picked the ones that you had drawn a mask on him. you captioned it “chat told me to do it and i couldn’t disappoint them.” 

slowly you saw that your positive chat started to turn very negative. the name calling, the degrading. people were calling you attention seeking, that you are nothing but a whore for drawing them all. 

“okay guys, i should go to bed, i have things to do in the morning.” you told them, saying goodbye, leaving the stream and turning your pc off. 

you had your twitter notifications off so that you wouldn’t be annoyed at the constant pinging but since you were already on twitter, you had known that most of the people you drew had already noticed it. they retweeted it, screenshotted it, asking for your permission to post it or use it in their profile. 

you replied to most of them, before turning your phone off to get ready for bed. 

you sat on your bed, staring at your wall opposite you. you could feel the exhaustion come over you, the tears streaming down your face. it had been a good couple of hours. 

streaming definitely did take your mind off a lot of the things from your job earlier. but somehow you felt like your day got worse. 

you didn’t blame george, nor anyone for the matter. you needed to just suck it up, that not everyone will like you and that it’s okay for someone to call you out like that. 

that didn’t mean what he said didn’t hurt. in fact, nothing hurt you more than this. the fact he reminded you about your mum. you wished you could cry to your mum. everyday. you just wanted to hug her, talk to her. you wanted nothing else than to have a couple more moments with your parents. 

you needed to be tough, as your dad told you to be. you won’t be torn down because of this. your phone rang. you already know it’s clay facetiming you. you dried your tears and quickly went to wash your face.  

“hi.” you started, smiling to him as you picked the call up. 

“you don’t have to act like you’re okay. you’re allowed to cry.” he reminds you. 

“i am okay, don’t worry.” you told him. 

“you aren’t” he starts. “he went too far, i’m sorry.” he says. 

“don’t apologize. neither of your faults. i am tired though, i’m going to bed and so should you.” you replied to him, reminding him not to remain awake for too long.

“sleep well, hopefully tomorrow won’t suck for you. i’ll sleep later. goodnight. i love you.” 

“i love you too.” you told him before you ended the call. 

you laid down on your bed, continued crying and praying that tomorrow would be better. with that, you cocooned yourself in your covers and went to bed. 

-

DREAM’S POV

“what the actual fuck, george.” i scolded the british boy as you left the smp and discord call. 

“turn off your streams, all of you.” i told them. 

i had your live put up on my other monitor, so i knew exactly what was going on and what she was doing. so far, her chat had nothing but nice things to say and now she’s showing her drawings to them. 

good. she’s good so far. she’s probably only trying to take her mind off things. 

as all the boys turned off their streams, i told them to wait before i continues saying anything. we were all still on minecraft, doing our own things. i couldn’t just sit and do nothing, i would end up being too mad and breaking things. 

“i am so fucking disappointed in you, george.” i started to say. i was truly disappointed. i knew the two of them somehow didn’t get along well but i didn’t understand why he’s such an ass about this. 

“i find her so fucking pretentious. i refuse to sit here and not say anything about it.” george told all of us. i wish i could shake him awake right now. 

“she has been nothing but nice to you, what is wrong with you?” my voice louder now. 

“clay, i fucking hate her. she’s acting nice in front of everyone. you, chat. i don’t like that.” 

“acting nice? she’s the nicest person i’ve met.” i scolded him, bad and sapnap agreeing with me. 

“then you clearly haven’t met many nice people, clay.” he told me, scoffing. 

at this, i got more angry. i didn’t want to hold back. i couldn’t anymore. although i knew she’d get mad at me for telling people this, i didn’t care. i had to tell them, tell george. he will not just step on my best friend and get away with it, not when i’m around. 

“you dickhead. you told her to cry to her mum. her mum isn’t there to be there for her, to console her, to calm her down when your bitch-ass decide to talk crap about her. her dad isn’t there to hug her, to tell her that boys like you don’t deserve her. you really fucked up this time, george. i can’t believe you.” i basically screamed at him. 

“what?” i head sapnap say. “you don’t say-” he tried to say again. 

“her parents passed away when she was eighteen. she had no one but me. even her relatives don’t give a shit about her anymore.” i told them. that felt good to say. sure, it is a private matter about you and i should respect her boundaries but i can’t listen to george talk shit about you like that and not do anything. 

“i hope you’re happy, george. you probably fucking broke her.” i told him before leaving the smp and discord call. 

before i left, i heard him. “fuck.” i knew bad and sapnap would torment him anyways. 

i called you right after that. you looked fresh and looked like you haven’t been crying but i knew better. i knew you went to the bathroom before picking up my phone call. i knew you too well. 

when she hung up on me, i went to check out her twitter. i saw my twitter notifications earlier and saw that she posted something. i knew it had to be one of the drawings. chat must’ve told her to post it. 

my heart sunk when i saw a drawing of george. you are too nice for this world. no one on this earth deserves you, not even me. the fact that you still posted him when he was the cause of your tears prior to this. 

and the fact that he has been mean to you since the start yet you still spent hours drawing him just melts me. george really needs to wake up. 

i saved the drawing you drew of me and had it up as my profile picture. it was too wholesome. you really are talented. not to mention, really smart too. you were incredibly forgiving, it wouldn’t shock me to hear that you’re not even mad at george for being so rude to you. 

-

YOUR POV

i heard a knock on my door as i was finishing reading a book. i went to the front door not really expecting it to be anyone. maybe it’s clay, since he comes to your house often and never told you earlier. not that you mind, anyways. 

you were shocked, to say the least, to see a slightly shorter than clay, boy standing in front of you. that isn’t the shocking part. it is the fact that you are well aware of the man standing in front of you. 

george. and for some reason, he was holding flowers.

when you opened the door, he smiled sheepishly at you. you just stared at him, waiting for him to say something before you decide to. 

nothing. he says nothing. “is this about the things you called me? i totally get why you said what you did and i don’t blame you.” you said first, since it didn’t seem like he would. 

“how am i not one to blame when i was so incredibly rude to you, not even getting to know you first.” he finally opens up. 

“did clay ask you to come?” you asked him. he shook his head. 

“i offered, actually.” he started. 

“i couldn’t just sit around and not try to apologize. i’m so sorry for turning a blind eye and calling you such things. i didn’t mean any of it.” he says.

before you try to say something, he cuts you off. “and i know you’re going to stand there and tell me i did nothing wrong, that i have nothing to apologize about but that’s not true.” he says. 

you smiled. were you that predictable. you knew he had a couple more things to say, hence you kept your mouth shut and told him to continue, and that you wouldn’t cut in this time. 

besides, him apologizing with bouquet of flowers in his hands is just too adorable for you. so you decide that you should enjoy this. 

“clay told me how much of an idiot i am for talking about your mum. i didn’t mean anything i said, i swear.” he starts again. 

“i just- it seems like you and clay are so close and it made me feel so alone, like i barely stood a chance with you in the first place. and that thought alone made me feel enraged. i know that doesn’t count as an excuse, nothing can count as an excuse bu-” you cut him off by pulling him by behind his neck to kiss him. 

the kiss was short, but sweet. it was for two reasons, one, to shut him up, for him to stop rambling, and two, for him to realize that you liked him just as much. 

as you pulled away from the short kiss, he was already looking at you with a glint in his eyes, as if he was looking at the last piece of donut in a coffee shop.

he showed you a grin, a grin like none other. it showed you how much he did actually like you. 

it’s safe to say he only spent the rest of his stay at your house, or in your company. even clay couldn’t steal him from you. 

[jaanusbooktalk]

The Darkness Outside Us by Eliot Schrefer - Book Review

10/10⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️💫

TWs: death, violence, cancer, blood, vomit, war

(TWs are ranked in order of severity, please take them seriously - especially that death part)

Sometimes you read a book, and there’s a distinct before and after. Before I read The Darkness Outside Us, I was a person wholly removed from who I am now, in the After.

To be honest, I’m still reeling from everything that this book was. Is. At some point tonight I will cry about it for the eighth time. At some point I’ll add it to my Amazon shopping cart so I can buy my own copy instead of this crinkly plastic-covered (now tearstained) one. At some point I’ll call up my best friend to cry about it some more. At some point I’ll make a Pinterest board, a Spotify playlist, anything I can think of to help me capture and share exactly how this book makes me feel. Because I need to describe it to someone, even if that’s myself.

I don’t reread books, as a rule. The last books I reread were the Harry Potter series when I was nine. This is going to be the first book to change that rule. Before I start actually reviewing, I would like to formally apologize to my brother who had to listen to me sob over this book for the past three hours while he tried to play video games in our hotel room. I’m sorry (but not really).

Summary:

“Two boys, alone in space. Sworn enemies sent on the same rescue mission.

Ambrose wakes up on the Coordinated Endeavor with no memory of a launch. There’s more that doesn’t add up: evidence indicates strangers have been on board, the ship’s operating system is voiced by his mother, and his handsome, brooding shipmate has barricaded himself away. But nothing will stop Ambrose from making his mission succeed—not when he’s rescuing his own sister.

In order to survive the ship’s secrets, Ambrose and Kodiak will need to work together and learn to trust each other . . . especially once they discover what they are truly up against. Love might be the only way to survive.”

TL;DR - Have you seen Bananafish? Have you read They Both Die At The End? They have nothing on this. (The blurb was dumb so this is what y’all are getting 😭)

Edit one hour later-

Spotify playlist:

Pinterest board:

If you want emotional damage, listen to the playlist while reading 🤲🏼❤️‍🩹

There is a terrible lack of fanart and general fandomness about this book so the sole two pieces of quality fanart I could find:

And yes, I did talk to my bestie for two hours about this.

Let’s talk representation:

There’s only really two human characters in this book and it takes place thousands of years into the future, where there are only two countries: Fédération and Dimokratía. From this it’s difficult to identify the ethnicities of the characters. They are both queer, thought at this point in the future they don’t really use labels like “gay” or “pansexual”. Neither are white, which is clear from the cover and descriptions of the characters.

This means this section is shorter, but my one commentary on the rep is that Ambrose’s skin is described without food terms (aka caramel, coffee, etc) which yes, is the bare minimum, but also appreciated💘

Also I’m just happy that we get a gay love story about space where the main plot line is not the romance - it’s a thriller/mystery/sci-fi elements!

Edit: HAHHAHAHAHA my whole review past this point just got deleted I hate everything fml 😃😃 I was literally right in the last section too

*deep breath* we move on 😌🪷🧘🏽‍♀️

What I liked:

This is one of those books that’s really hard to review without major spoilers, so this section will also be short (since this is a spoiler free blog).

I loved how space was depicted in this book. The prose was beautiful and the story overall really renewed my faith in humanity and made me wonder about what makes us human.

I also loved how the characters grew, developed (and broke down), and how they reflected the hope we search for in the world & each other. There has never been a more fitting name for a book than The Darkness Outside Us, because Ambrose and Kodiak were the light for each other.

At the very beginning of the book there are two black pages, which I’ve put below:

It took me a while to get it.

On a space ship in the middle of endless nothing, the only indication Ambrose and Kodiak had that they were alive was each other. This was what kept them from going insane.

They only knew they existed because there was someone else to perceive them.

(You can see how this gave me an existential crisis now right?)

Ambrose also, understandably, has multiple existential crises throughout the book (because of the nihilistic tendencies in his personality 🧐?) as shown above.

Although I did rate this a 10, some people had some issues with it (that I realized after listening to a podcast review) that I wanted to acknowledge:

- suspension of disbelief

- Ambrose’s character at the beginning (a little self centered)

- too much space stuff & it was confusing at times

- the ending (redacted for obvious reasons but basically abrupt/random)

Note: the people who brought these up still rated the book 8/10 or 3.5/5 overall, despite what they disliked. I didn’t have any of these problems (aside from the Ambrose one which I attributed to deep seated self image problems) but everyone will read it their own way so I wanted to include them as a heads up!

Here is the link to the Spotify podcast review if you’re interested (be aware there are MAJOR SPOILERS!!!)

What brought it to a 10:

This book led me to ask some pretty big questions-

“Would I have done the same in their shoes? Would anyone?”

“If you could do it again would things be different?”

“What makes us human?”

“How do you know you exist?”

“What brings people together/what keeps them apart?”

“How much can people withstand before they go crazy?”

It’s a book that is sad, yes, but not in a way that you’ll regret reading it after. You’ll be grateful the universe (and maybe me 😉) helped put it in your hands.

Finally, I’ll let some random people (courtesy of Tik Tok comments sections) tell you what they thought:

“This book has ruined me and cured me and murdered me and hugged me all at once” -@ihathdroppedmycroissant

“I listened to the audiobook version and it had me sitting upright in my bed all night starting at the wall” -@draconic.gremlin

“I just finished this and I’m still gasping for air” -@morethanapage.books

Do with this what you will.

I sincerely recommend to fans of:

They Both Die at the End by Adam Silvera

Osamu Dazai (the author)

Simone de Beauvoir & Jean-Paul Sartre (poets/key figures in Existentialism)

The Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller

Psychology AKA why ppl do sh*t

Philosophy AKA why ppl do sh*t but fancy✨

Sad books that take ur heart and give it back better

Note: Gay space nerds, you should read this🪐 (I love u)

This book changed the way I see the world. I hope it will for you too 🫶🏼

^me to Tumblr for deleting my review halfway thru (I’m on Ep. 12 of Doom At Your Service rn)

[thelastspeecher]

Spirit Touched - Chapter 1: Little Prince

Chapter 1   Chapter 2   Chapter 3   Chapter 4   Chapter 5   Chapter 6   AO3

Uhhhh so this is the first time I’ve written and posted something for ATLA, and of course it wound up being because of a fanart of a fanfic that I adore.  Basically, yesterday I saw this art drawn by my pal @agent-jaselin.  And that art appeared to apply one of my all-time favorite tropes (de-aging) to one of my all-time favorite fics (Salvage, by @muffinlance).  And dagnabit, I...got inspired.

So, without further ado, here is my interpretation of a theoretical Zuko being de-aged after Chapter 8 of Salvage.  Enjoy.

——————————————————————————————

              Praying to the spirits for guidance was a mistake.  Hakoda could see that now.  He pinched the bridge of his nose in a vain attempt to dispel the headache already forming.

              This is what I get for thinking the spirits might make things easier. Their actions are rarely convenient for us mortals.

              “Bring him to Kustaa,” Hakoda said after a moment.  Toklo nodded and hurried for the healer’s room, his friend in his arms, buried in a pile of furs.  Bato looked at Hakoda.  He raised an eyebrow silently.

              “That’s new,” he said.  The casual tone made Hakoda’s headache pound in full force.  Bato was treating this as just another matter of fact.  Like seeing the former Prince of the Fire Nation reduced to a toddler overnight was just as common as…

              Hakoda’s head hurt too much to even think of something that was common.

              “Yes,” Hakoda finally said.  “It is new.” He was struggling to align the grumpy teenager of yesterday with the toddler he’d just seen drooling in his sleep.

              “How could this have happened?” Bato asked quietly.

              “I asked the spirits for help last night.”  Hakoda scowled.  It was help he’d desperately needed, after Zuko had broken down in front of him and renounced his crown, maybe even renounced his own nation.  And it was help he was obviously not getting. “Apparently, they didn’t want to make things easier.”

              “The spirits work in mysterious ways,” Bato said.  “It’s best to trust in their judgement.  Eventually, you’ll understand why they’ve done…this.” Hakoda eyed his second-in-command.

              “Since when are you so spiritual?”

              “Since meeting the bridge between the spirit world and ours,” Bato said flatly.

              “Fair enough.”  Hakoda sighed.  “I should go speak with Kustaa.”

              “I might be best if you were there when the little prince woke up,” Bato agreed.  He thumped Hakoda on the back.  “At least you’re good with children!”

----- 

              Unlike every other day since he’d recovered from his illness, Zuko didn’t wake up with the sun.  If he didn’t remember how much his own children slept at this age, Hakoda would have been concerned.  He sat in the infirmary, having a hushed conversation with Kustaa while Zuko continued to snore.  The sight of a toddler swimming in furs was painfully cute and reminded Hakoda of when Sokka was young.

              “I’ll be able to get a better examination done once he’s awake,” Kustaa said in a low voice.  “But from what I can tell, he’s perfectly healthy.”

              “He’s a toddler,” Hakoda said.

              “A healthy one.”  Kustaa glanced at Zuko.  “By my estimation, about four years old.  So, almost out of the toddler years.”  Zuko rolled over in his sleep, mumbling something.  Kustaa and Hakoda held their breaths.  Zuko didn’t wake up.  “From what he’s told me, he didn’t get that scar until a few years ago, so I’m not completely sure why he still has it.”

              “The spirits are testing me,” Hakoda moaned.  Kustaa chuckled.

              “No, Chief.  The spirits are testing all of us with this stunt.”  He sighed and leaned back.  “Now would be a good time to have a waterbending healer, to examine his spirit and chi.  But the odds of finding one of those…”

              “Aren’t good unless we stumble across a Northern Tribe ship,” Hakoda said, finishing the healer’s sentence.  Kustaa nodded.  There was movement from Zuko’s pile of furs.  Hakoda and Kustaa looked over.  A small hand fought its way out, followed by a head.  Zuko’s regular scowl was replaced by confusion as he stared at Hakoda and Kustaa, who most likely seemed larger to him than they had yesterday.

              “You’re up,” Kustaa said calmly.  Zuko shoved away the furs he was buried in.  His eyes widened at the sight of his body.  Hakoda grimaced.

              There was a split second of dumbfounded silence before the screaming started.

----- 

              Kustaa wasn’t sure whether he preferred Zuko like this or not.  On the one hand, it would be difficult to run the ship with a literal toddler on board.  But on the other hand, it was much easier to handle Zuko.  He could literally be picked up and carried somewhere else if needed.

              “This doesn’t fit right!” Zuko whined.  Kustaa glanced over at his young charge.  Zuko had insisted on dressing himself in the smallest shirt they could find on the ship.  That smallest shirt came down to past his feet.

              Then again, so will everything else.  Kustaa beckoned Zuko to come.  Zuko scowled but walked over.  Kustaa fought back an amused grin at the firebender’s toddling gait.  While not as severe as it would be for someone younger, it was still evident.

              “Nothing is going to fit right until either we adjust clothes to fit you or purchase ones already in your size,” Kustaa said.  He adjusted the shirt as best he could by pinning it up and wrapping rope around Zuko’s waist to act as a belt.  “Now that you’re dressed, we need to go see the chief.” Zuko’s eyes went wide in horror.

              “No!  I’m not going outside like this.”

              “Everyone knows what’s happened to you,” Kustaa said, getting to his feet. He took Zuko’s hand.  It was small and warm.  “Most of them saw you already, and the rest were informed by either the chief or Bato.”

              “…Fine,” Zuko grumbled.  Kustaa led him out onto the deck.  The moment eyes landed on him, Zuko dropped Kustaa’s hand to hide behind his legs.

              “Wow, you’re barely older than the babes we left at the South Pole,” Panuk remarked.  Zuko didn’t move or speak.

              “I think he’s adorable,” Toklo said firmly, marching over.  He crouched down to Zuko’s eye-height.  “I always wanted a baby brother.”

              “I’m not a baby,” Zuko snapped.  At his high-pitched, youthful voice, Toklo beamed.  “I’m sixteen.”

              “Four,” Kustaa corrected.  Zuko scowled.

              “Either way, that’s not a baby.”

              “Aw, no need to pout,” Toklo cooed.  Zuko’s scowl deepened.  “It’ll be fun having a little kid on board.”

              “Will it?” rumbled Aake.  “We only let men join the crew for a reason.”  Zuko let out a small squeak as Toklo lifted him up and held him out for Aake to see.

              “Try saying ‘no’ to this face,” Toklo said.  Aake’s deadpan expression didn’t change.

              “No.”

              “Were you saying ‘no’ to Zuko or ‘no’ to saying ‘no’ to him?” Toklo asked. Aake shrugged and continued to sharpen his spear.  Zuko squirmed in Toklo’s hold.

              “Let me go!” he snarled.  He broke loose, falling to the deck with a soft thump.  Kustaa waited for the tears that would come from a toddler being dropped. But Zuko didn’t cry.  His eyes were glistening in a way that suggested he was holding back tears, but he remained otherwise stoic.  Kustaa filed this observation away for now.  He walked over to Zuko and pulled him up.

              “The chief needs to talk to you, remember?” he said.  Zuko nodded silently, allowing Kustaa to lead him to Hakoda’s cabin.

----- 

              The moment they set foot inside the cabin, Kustaa could tell Hakoda was going to struggle with not seeing Sokka every time he looked at Zuko.  At least Bato was there to help mediate things.

              “Take a seat,” Hakoda said.  Zuko toddled over to the chair he normally sat in.  After a moment, he climbed onto the seat with obvious difficulty.  Bato stifled a laugh.  “Zuko, we’re not sure why the spirits have done this to you.”

              “Probably because they hate me,” Zuko muttered, crossing his arms.

              “Well, no matter why you’ve been turned into a toddler, the fact of the matter is that it has happened to you.  Generally, we don’t allow children your age to be on our ships.”  Zuko paled and opened his mouth to make his case. Hakoda held up a hand.  “Given your…extenuating circumstances, we won’t be dropping you off at the next port or something like that.  Who knows, maybe you’ll wake up tomorrow sixteen again. Until we have a better understanding of your condition, including how long it might last, you’ll be staying on the Akhlut.  Do you understand?”

              “Yes,” Zuko said with a nod, visibly relieved.

              “Good.  Now, just because you’ll still be on board, don’t expect things to stay the same for you. You won’t be required to do any chores on the ship.  If you want to help, you can, but the crew has been instructed to stop you from overexerting yourself or doing something that might hurt you at your current age.” Zuko’s eyes boggled.  “Additionally, you’ll be sleeping in the infirmary with Kustaa for the foreseeable future.  It will be more comfortable for you.”

              “Understood,” Zuko mumbled.

              “Another change is that you will be expected to do what a child your age must in order to remain healthy,” Hakoda said.  Zuko tilted his head curiously.  “In particular, you will have to take naps.”

              “What?!” Zuko shrieked.

              “We can’t have a cranky, overtired firebender on our wooden ship,” Bato said.  Zuko crossed his arms, scowling.

              “Those are the major changes.  We will adjust things as we see fit,” Hakoda said.

              “Okay.”  Zuko fidgeted in his seat, an abrupt reminder to the men in the room of how hyperactive toddlers were.  “Um, about my clothes…”

              “Go see Panuk and Toklo.  They offered to try to cobble together something for you until we can make port,” Hakoda said.  Zuko ducked his head.

              “Thank you.”  He slipped off his chair and left the cabin, his head held high in an attempt to maintain any dignity.  Once the door closed, Kustaa looked at Hakoda and Bato.

              “He’s not going to act like a toddler if he can avoid it,” Kustaa said. “He’s almost certainly going to resist the reduced workload and naps.”  Hakoda nodded.

              “I agree,” he said solemnly.

              “This won’t end well,” Bato said, shaking his head.  “There’s a reason we wouldn’t normally have someone his age on board.”  There was a loud ruckus from the deck; clattering, heavy footsteps, and Toklo’s voice.

              “Come on, Zuko, it’ll look so cute!”

              “That,” Bato said, “is the reason.”

-----

              Hakoda begrudgingly agreed with Toklo’s assessment.  Zuko was cuter than he had any right looking, walking around the ship with a blanket draped over his shoulders like a cape.  According to Toklo, Zuko had begun shivering while he and Panuk were working on finding something for the new toddler to wear. Toddlers tended to get cold easier, and Hakoda supposed that being a firebender might make Zuko more vulnerable to cold as is.

              “Are you hungry yet, little prince?” Panuk asked.  Zuko looked up from his fumbling attempts at making a net.

              “Don’t call me that,” he snarled.  Panuk patted Zuko’s bald head.

              “All right.  You hungry yet, Zuko?” he asked.  Zuko’s stomach rumbled loudly.  “I’ll take that as a yes.”  Panuk got up. “Come on.  Let’s fill you up with sea prunes.”  Zuko got to his feet and eagerly followed Panuk.  Hakoda watched Zuko toddle across the deck and to the kitchen.

              “You’re getting soft, Chief, I can tell,” Aake, standing nearby, said quietly. Hakoda looked at him.  Aake sighed.  “But I’m getting soft, too.  We left when Sitka was about that age.”  A weary and wistful expression settled on Aake’s face.  “I miss my son.”

              “I miss mine as well,” Hakoda said quietly.  Suddenly, Zuko burst onto the deck, his arms full of sea prunes, running from Panuk.

              “Hey!  You don’t get all of them!” Panuk protested, coming onto the deck as well.  Zuko merely sped up.  Hakoda and Aake’s eyes widened as they realized the former Fire Nation Prince was giggling as Panuk chased him.  Zuko’s lighthearted, childish peals of laughter filled the air. He rushed belowdeck, his blanket still wrapped around his shoulders.  Panuk followed.  A silence fell.  After a moment, Tuluk, who was swabbing the deck, spoke.

              “Well, that was adorable.”

----- 

              Hakoda expected Zuko to hide belowdeck, embarrassed by behaving like a toddler.  But Zuko returned to the deck after a while, seemingly unaware of how childish he had acted. He walked up to various crewmen in an attempt to do some of his old chores.  Each time, he was turned away.  His regular scowl settled on his face, chubby with baby fat.

              “Can’t do anything,” Zuko muttered as he stalked around the deck, his blanket trailing behind him.  He finally sat down next to the mast, pouting.

              “It’s good that you can’t do anything,” Hakoda said, walking over. Zuko looked up.  “Leaving a task in the middle of doing it doesn’t usually produce good results.”

              “Why would I not complete a task?” Zuko asked.  He crossed his arms.  “I’m not really a child, I can focus.”

              “You’d need to take a break for your nap,” Hakoda informed him.  Zuko’s eyes widened.  “I saw you yawning just now.  You’re tired.”

              “No, I’m not!” Zuko said, jumping to his feet.  He shed his blanket cape.  “I won’t nap.”

              “You agreed to take naps.”

              “Only if I needed them.  I don’t. I’m not tired.”  Zuko’s argument sounded eerily like those Sokka made as a child.

              “There’s nothing for you to do anyways,” Hakoda pointed out.  He reached for Zuko’s hand.  Zuko darted away before he could be grabbed.  Unfortunately for his millionth escape attempt, Aake was nearby. Aake picked Zuko up as he ran past.

              “Let me go!” Zuko said, twisting in Aake’s grip.  “Let me go!”  A breath of flame escaped from his mouth.  He suddenly stilled.  Aake handed him over to Hakoda.  Zuko didn’t make a peep as Hakoda carried him across the deck and into the infirmary. Kustaa looked up from the book he was reading.

              “Is it time for my nephew’s nap?” he asked.  Hakoda nodded and set Zuko down.

              “Sleep,” he said firmly to Zuko.  “That’s an order.”  Zuko nodded, visibly cowed.

              “Yes, chief,” he mumbled.  Hakoda turned to leave.  “Sir, I apologize for firebending earlier,” Zuko said suddenly.  Hakoda looked over his shoulder at the toddler.

              “You firebending on accident wouldn’t have anything to do with agreeing to nap, would it?” he asked.

              “Uncle says that sleep works in concert with meditation to control your inner fire.  Children who are too young to know how to meditate only avoid burning down their house by taking…naps.”  Zuko scowled slightly.  “That’s the excuse he gives for being so lazy.”  Kustaa chuckled softly.

              “Judging by what happened on deck, your uncle might be right,” Hakoda said, feigning a casual tone.  Zuko nodded. “Sleep well, Zuko.”

              Hakoda poked his head into the infirmary after he had checked on the rest of the crewmen.  Some of the crew felt Zuko’s current size was an improvement.  Hakoda could see where they were coming from.  Zuko was yet again buried in a pile of furs, his minute arms wrapped around Scuttles.

              “He went down almost right after you left, chief,” Kustaa said quietly.  “I didn’t even need to make him any tea.”

              “Hopefully he won’t argue against naps in the future.”  Hakoda continued to watch Zuko sleep.  The toddler let out a soft snore.  “It’s foolish to expect that he’ll ask for a nap, though.”  Kustaa nodded.

              “I would agree with that.”  Zuko rolled over in his sleep with another snore.

              “Let me know if anything happens,” Hakoda said.

              “Of course,” Kustaa said.  He picked up another book, opened it, and began to read.  Hakoda left the infirmary, closing the door behind him as softly as he could.

[esther-dot]

I am one of the few dirty show Jonsa/Sansa/Jon fans. I literally have zero motivation to even start reading a series which is unfinished since decade and has very little possibility of even seeing one of the two announced books released. The way show ended was definitely unexpected and disheartening for me. Sansa has always been a hated character even among show stans too but after s8, even Jon got a lot of hate. I understand why people disliked his character in later seasons but I always felt the real blame should be on the writers who turned Jon into a robot for plot reasons. As a show Jonsa shipper, I know I won't be getting any new content from the creators. Unlike book fans, I don't have anything to look forward to in that regard. So the only source of something new for me, since past 2 years, has been amazing and extremely talented creators in Jonsa fandom. Be it fanarts, gif makers, meta writers or fic writers, all of them keep sharing new content about show verse in this fandom, even after 2 years. I am pretty sure I have read every single post s8 or fix it fic in jonsa tag at this point, to get over that ending. Like you said, it's important for everyone to filter their own fandom experience and focus on engaging in what they really like. Vague blogging about someone in your own fandom just because they have different preferences or opinions compared to you, ruins the fandom for everyone in the end. May be Martin will shock us all and finish the series ( and I might finally read it lol) but until then, I just wanted to thank every single Jonsa fan and creator for all the gifts they keep sharing with us!!!

A big kiss for you, anon!

I totally understand. I have moved more into the book fandom than I ever expected because I get asks about it, but I shipped show Jonsa first, and I will always love them! I’m so happy there are still other fans out there loving them too. 💗 The Jonsa fandom overall has been a delight, and I’m thrilled to have found the ship and all you lovely people to enjoy it with! Also, I find reading violence/abuse far more disturbing than watching it in a show/movie (I have no explanation, that’s just the way I’ve always been), so the books are certainly not for everyone as I find them difficult in places myself. And, after that finale, I had a lot of book readers tell me they were done with the books (some people threw them away!) because they were so upset by the ending. So, I think you may have been spared a lot of pain by waiting to read until we get an ending. 

I’ll rec some lovely post s8 fics on the off chance you missed them:

Homecoming 16k, more happiness than you can hold 3.6k, An Affair In Stages 13k, The Sky is Big Enough 15k, Love’s Labor Lasting 20k, Free 10k which is mine and I’m including because writing it just...it took away all my bitterness. Obviously I still rant and rave about the show and I do get mad from time to time, but for some reason, that fic really helped me.

Thank you for the lovely message! 

[franeridart]

Anon said: Would you draw SukuFushi? (Sukuna x Fushiguro)

maybe? *thinking face* if I ever got an idea for it, why not. I find sukuna’s obsession with fushiguro entertaining so I don’t count fanarts for it as impossible haha

Anon said: I looked and I couldn't find if you've answered this already, so apologies if you did, but how do you draw your faces? I always struggle with face shape and yours are always super good with really expressive features! Anyway, thanks so much I love your art <3

HMMMMMMMM how do I do that indeed, the basics are honestly what you’d find on any basic tutorial about drawing a face (circle, cross in the middle of it, build the face around that - I really still can’t avoid that step and probably never will). As for the expressions, to be honest with you my way of going about them is thinking them up in emoji/kaomoji form first and then go from there. Emojis and kaomojis have to simplify expressions to the max since it’s such a simple format, right? But they’re still super expressive and convey exactly what they’re trying to say with one single glance, so using them as some kind of reference sheet has helped me a lot in figuring out what’s essential to express what I’m trying to say - still working on it though! I’m rarely satisfied with my expressions, they really do make or break a drawing don’t they............ you never stop learning, I guess!

Anon said:  Ahhhhhhh I just spent like hrs scrolling thru ur oc tag and they’re all amazing I love them so much but I keep confusing the everloving SHIT out of myself cuz I too have a child who is Leo and he’s literally so different from ur Leo lol. Anyway tho ur art is amazing and it honestly just makes me so happy so ty and hope have a good day!!

OHHHHHHHHHHHH MY LEO! It’d been forever since I’ve last drawn him, I kind of miss him............... glad you like my stuff, by the way! Especially about you liking my ocs, that means the world to me!

Anon said: hi there !!! i was wondering if i had ur permission to ur ur itafushi art in one of my edits ! i wanted to be sure before using it <3 total respect if its a no !! thankyouuuu

Sorry but I’d prefer if you didn’t do that!

Anon said:THERES A OCTOPATH TRAVELER LIGHT NOVEL AND ITS SO COOL BUT ITS ONLY IN JAPANEESE ! ;^;There's four stories with centered around pairs of characters and alfion is one of them !Idk if itll be transleted but i hope itll be cuz it sound awesome

OH I KNOW!!!!!!! I saw the art for the alfion one a while back, it looks so soft!!!! ;;;;; 8path is kinda niche as a game though, so who knows.............. let’s cross our fingers!!

Anon said:  hello, i am here to recc Skeletons by New Years Day because i think it might fit a few of your ships<3

Thanks anon now I’m emo ;;;;;

Anon said: bakubro gives the best hugs. kirishima is the only one who knows this. everyone is absolutely incredulous when the question "who gives the best hugs" goes around and kirishima answers bakugo. (bakugo thinks kirishima is the best but he benefits from kirishima bodily hugging him and he's biased)

Definitely!! He’s strong and warm after all, bet hugging him would feel the best.... the only one who shall ever know is kiri though, as I bet his hugs are only that nice when he really likes the person he’s hugging hahaha

Anon said: Hi! Just wanted to say that I absolutely love your JJK art! The colors and style are absolutely stunning.

Thank you so much!!!!!!! I feel like I’m mostly drawing for myself lately ngl hahaha so knowing you like it means a lot!!

Anon said: Hi!! This isn't a request I just really like your art! I found you from Pinterest on a kiribaku thing you drew! Your art is so cool! I wish I could draw like that!!! I'll keep looking for new art you've made :D

Aw pinterest.......................... glad you could find your way back here though!! And thank you!!

Anon said: This happened a while ago, but i wanted to say it anyway. I remember when I started watching jujutsu kaisen and I was looking for content arter finishing the first 10 episodes in less than a day and I found your first jujutsu kaisen post (it was posted that dame day) and i was like ???? One of my favorite artists got into jk at the same time than me!!! I just thought it was a neat coincedence to share! I really love your art too, you're amazing!! Happy New Year!!

It’s!!!!!!!!!!!! a pretty dang neat coincidence for me too, since it’s always nice to know at least some of my followers are still into the stuff I make hahahaha

Anon said: i think a lot abt ur art and how ive been seeing u since middle school and now im graduating highschool and we're still in the same fandoms, i hope this doesnt make u feel old but rather VERY cherished qwq

No anon this makes me feel amazing you’ve been around so long!!!!!!! I can’t believe you’re still here with my thank you so much for that!!!!!! I think I’m gonna cry a little here.......... ;;;

Anon said: Hi! I love your art so much!! 🥰 Have you read a KiriBaku fic called The Pit??

Probably not, haven’t been reading krbk fics in a while by now! I’ll add it to my for-later list, thank you so much for the rec!!

Anon said: can u believe that (sans sero) the entire bakusquad can be put into some form of punk/goth fashion? the realization was a galaxy brain moment for me. also realizing that tokoyami, kirishima, and tamaki are all varying levels of goth/emo (some more concerning than others)

Sero’s the hippie friend every punk friend group needs, he balances things out and that’s why he’s very cherished and necessary!!!!

Anon said: your bakugo drawings convinced me to finally start stretching my ears and tbh i'm extremely excited (i've had off and on thoughts of stretching my ears (again) before this so it's not as impulsive as it sounds haha)

Anon that’s so cool!!!!!!! I love gauges so much.....................glad I could give you the last push for it!!

Anon said: uhhhh, i love the style of that top left goge drawing dude!!

THANK YOU I LOVE DRAWING IN THAT STYLE THIS ASK MEANS THE UNIVERSE TO ME

Anon said: i sent the dragon!kiri and bakugo tug-of-waring over a piece of meat and honestly your response is exactly what i thought

Great minds!!!!!!! hahaha

[zkfanworkweek]

ZFAW Fan Content Creator Interviews: HayleyNFoster

Hey everyone! We hope you’re all excited for ZFAW, and to honor (ha!) ZFAW’s commitment to supporting and celebrating fan content creators in the Zutara fandom, we’re going to be rolling out a series of interviews with well-known and widely-beloved content creators over the next few weeks. We’ve got artists and fanfiction authors, some names you recognize as well as a few phenomenal up-and-coming talents, and we can’t wait for you to meet them all!

For the second interview in this cycle, we have our best propaganda creator and this fandom’s hottest new artist/undisputed queen of the animatic, @hayleynfoster!

1. Tell us about how you came to ship Zutara. What does this ship mean to you?

When I was around 14 or 15 and caught Avatar: The Last Airbender on television, I was drawn in by the art style, the humor, and the wonderful characters. I caught the episodes out of order, and the first one I saw and wasn’t prepared to be sucked in by was The Waterbending Scroll. It intrigued me at that age, and the line “I’ll save you from the pirates” combined with the tension between Katara and Zuko in that whole scene was electrifying. I remember my teenage self thinking these two have so much chemistry! And when I saw a commercial on Nickelodeon that featured fanart submitted by fellow Avatar fans, I realized that I could do that to! So I set about making Zutara fanart for myself. I stumbled onto Youtube, practically in its infancy, and discovered that people set clips of Zuko and Katara set to music (And this was still in season 1 days… so people who made these amvs were the real mvps because they were able to make compelling narratives in their amvs with like practically nothing to work with!). The AMVs really spurred my interest in this couple, I remember distinctly one Zutara AMV using the Dido song White Flag utterly capturing my imagination. I found fandom shortly after, getting into deviantart and forums. But the ship really began to mean something to me when, as I was working on my drawings in the computer lab at school, a buoyant presence hovered over my shoulder noticing my Zutara art on the computer screen. The girl was someone I had never really talked to and had only seen from afar but she immediately started excitedly saying she shipped Zuko and Katara too! In this simple shared obsession, I made one of the best friends I’ve ever had and we’re still friends to this day. We would theorize and fangirl over Avatar like it was nobody’s business; we poured over bootleg San Diego Comic Con footage that showed spoilers for season 2 before it aired; we lost our freaking minds when we finally saw The Crossroads of Destiny. We had watch parties every week as Season 3 of A:TLA aired, and comforted each other when the show ended as it did (much ranting was shared). Those are some of my happiest memories from high school… all because this one pairing from this wonderful show. Even though Zutara didn’t happen, we still chat every now and then about it. Zutara will probably be a lifelong obsession, always bubbling under the surface. And without it, I would have never realized that animation was a viable career path. It really did inspire everything including the work I’m doing to this day in the animation industry. I owe a lot to this ship and to Avatar: the Last Airbender.

2. What inspires you to create zutara fanworks?

The resurgence of Avatar: The Last Airbender this year really helped sort of spark that dormant love I had for Zutara. The show’s ending still disappointed me on the rewatch, but Zuko and Katara’s relationship arc was as captivating as ever, so I turned to some fanfiction and looking at people’s pretty Zutara art and AMVs to just revel in fanon instead of getting to hung up on the actual ending of the show. But then I realized, with quarantine and my work load being pretty light, I had time to actually make all new Zutara art for myself, art I was never fully capable of making as a kid, but now could do with my 7 years of industry experience and just… life experience. And I was inspired to do some corrective animatics to satisfy my own desire for a different ending. I just really like exploring these two characters, doing different and interesting things with them, and frankly I’m inspired to make cute, fluffy, romantic art simply by virtue of living in a really sad and depressing world. Things are so crazy right now, creating art about two characters I love being in love, is comforting. And it helps to have inspiring music and amazing Zutara amvs to just sort of stir up my emotions and imagery in my head to make into animatics and art.

3. Be selfish - if you could request one fanwork based on your own art/fanfic, what would it be? What would you absolutely love to see someone create?

Ohhhh… Well, It’s always nice to have people write fanfiction that puts words to my animatics. I am not that great at coming up with dialog myself, so I’ve just chosen to indulge in visuals and emotions for my boards. But when I read things like RideBoldlyRide’s take on my Reunion Animatic, it makes me pretty giddy. (They finally have voices!) :) And this is the MOST selfish thing I could request, but I’m not shy about saying how much I love well done amvs, so I will literally kill for someone to make Zutara AMVs to songs I like… Like, most of AURORA’s songs but especially Exist for Love, Sunseeker by The Naked and Famous, Promises or Take Me by Aly & AJ, Adore You by Harry Styles, Human Enough by ONR, Never Let Me Go by Florence + The Machine, and/or Almost (Sweet Music) by Hozier just… I can see the AMVs so clearly to any of these songs in my head, but I don’t have the tools or skill set at my disposal to make a compelling fan video. When I was in high school, I originally thought I wanted to go into video editing simply because I loved making very crappy AMVs (they were so bad you guys), but I figured out being a storyboard artist was more in my wheelhouse. haha

4. Any words for people who are new to the fandom and/or nervous about sharing their work for the first time?

If you’re new to the Zutara fandom, just have a good time! Don’t waste too much time arguing with people over your shipping preferences. I wasted so much of my teen years having pointless shipping wars with people on DeviantArt, and I’m just so much happier nowadays because I’m just making Zutara art in my little corner of the internet, and honestly, in the politest of ways, I don’t give a shit if people don’t like my art or Zutara. haha I think that’s sort of a key thing for people thinking of posting creative works here in the fandom, just make art for yourself, satisfy your own desires for the pairing, get your creative sparks flying, and create just for the joy of creating. It’s always nice to get comments and such, but simply making the art should be what spurs you on, not the external validation. And have a good time, don’t worry too much - I say as someone who worries about EVERYTHING. But honestly, making art for A:TLA is some of the most relaxed I’ve been because I make it just for me. I’m lucky others seem to like it too!

5. What’s an idea for a fanwork that you have but haven't gotten around to making?

I have an idea for a second generation storyline with my Zutara kids that involves Kya (the eldest firebending daughter) falling in love with an airbender boy (tentatively named Gora in my headcanon who’s a bit of a rabble rouser and one of Aang’s kids he had with a Kyoshi Warrior), and then they start a socialist revolution in the Fire Nation in order to dismantle all of the hierarchical societies across the Avatar world… Together Kya and Gora Fan the Flames of revolution… ehhhhh... Get it?? Oh! Oh, and then Katara, who had put in legit liberal reforms in her time as Fire Lady listens to her daughter after resisting in the first part of the story, but then realizes she can actually play a part in the dissolution of the royalty and is also active in the revolution realizing that moderate liberal reforms are no substitute for a society free of serving royalty (which she had always been uncomfortable with but had rationalized with herself that she was doing good in her capacity as Fire Lady.) I just feel like there’s a lot of cool potential for discussing these ideas and also having some aspirational change in the Avatar world. lol For aesthetics and just happy fluffy times, I can indulge in Fire Lady and Fire Lord Zuko stuff, but really at the end of the day, I take issue with the structures in a society that have to exist for monarchies to exist. Soooo, I kind of want to do my own corrective story for that… if I ever have the time or guts. On a less ambitious note, I would love to do a Zutara sparring animatic to practice doing action, but I need a good story; I am not good at doing fights just for fighting’s sake. Those are just some things I have rattling around in my head.  

6. Are you participating in ZFAW? If so want to give us a hint as to your plans?

Yes! The most I can say is I have one animatic almost finished and one that’s still being thumbnailed. The rest are probably going to be comics or emotive single pieces based on the fanfics I really like right now. :)