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whumptober · 4 years

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Whumptober 2020 - Updated

Welcome to Whumptober 2020! We’re doing things a little differently this year so please make sure to read the Event Info carefully. We are also excited to announce the addition of an AO3 Collection, which can be found here.

We hope you’re as excited as us to watch the Whump Community come together once again for a month of bone-crunching creativity and collaboration!

(All 31 Themes + Prompts, Event Information, and FAQs are posted below the cut!)

No 1. LET'S HANG OUT SOMETIME Waking Up Restrained | Shackled | Hanging

No 2. IN THE HANDS OF THE ENEMY "Pick Who Dies" | Collars | Kidnapped

No 3. MY WAY OR THE HIGHWAY Manhandled | Forced to their Knees | Held at Gunpoint

No 4. RUNNING OUT OF TIME Caged | Buried Alive | Collapsed Building

No 5. WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING? On the Run | Failed Escape | Rescue

No 6. PLEASE.... "Get it Out" | No More | "Stop, please"

No 7. I'VE GOT YOU Support | Carrying | Enemy to Caretaker

No 8. WHERE DID EVERYBODY GO? "Don't Say Goodbye" | Abandoned | Isolation

No 9. FOR THE GREATER GOOD "Take Me Instead" | "Run!” | Ritual Sacrifice

No 10. THEY LOOK SO PRETTY WHEN THEY BLEED Blood Loss | Internal Bleeding | Trail of Blood

No 11. PSYCH 101 Defiance | Struggling | Crying

No 12. I THINK I'VE BROKEN SOMETHING Broken Down | Broken Bones | Broken Trust

No 13. BREATHE IN BREATHE OUT Delayed Drowning | Chemical Pneumonia | Oxygen Mask

No 14. IS SOMETHING BURNING? Branding | Heat Exhaustion | Fire

No 15. INTO THE UNKNOWN Possession | Magical Healing | Science Gone Wrong

No 16. A TERRIBLE, HORRIBLE, NO GOOD, VERY BAD DAY Forced to Beg | Hallucinations | Shoot the Hostage

No 17. I DID NOT SEE THAT COMING Blackmail | Dirty Secret | Wrongfully Accused

No 18. PANIC! AT THE DISCO Panic Attacks | Phobias | Paranoia

No 19. BROKEN HEARTS Grief | Mourning Loved One | Survivor's Guilt

No 20. TOTO, I HAVE A FEELING WE'RE NOT IN KANSAS ANYMORE Lost | Field Medicine | Medieval

No 21. I DON'T FEEL SO WELL Chronic Pain | Hypothermia | Infection

No 22. DO THESE TACOS TASTE FUNNY TO YOU? Poisoned | Drugged | Withdrawal

No 23. WHAT’S A WHUMPEE GOTTA DO TO GET SOME SLEEP AROUND HERE? Exhaustion | Narcolepsy | Sleep Deprivation

No 24. YOU’RE NOT MAKING ANY SENSE Forced Mutism | Blindfolded | Sensory Deprivation

No 25. I THINK I’LL JUST COLLAPSE RIGHT HERE, THANKS Disorientation | Blurred Vision | Ringing Ears

No 26. IF YOU THOUGHT THE HEAD TRAUMA WAS BAD... Migraine | Concussion | Blindness

No 27. OK, WHO HAD NATURAL DISASTERS ON THEIR 2020 BINGO CARD? Earthquake | Extreme Weather | Power Outage

No 28. SUCH WOW. MANY NORMAL. VERY OOPS. Accidents | Hunting Season | Mugged

No 29. I THINK I NEED A DOCTOR Intubation | Emergency Room | Reluctant Bedrest

No 30. NOW WHERE DID THAT COME FROM? Wound Reveal | Ignoring an Injury | Internal Organ Injury

No 31. TODAY’S SPECIAL: TORTURE Experiment | Whipped | Left for Dead

Alternate Prompt List

Alt 1. Punctured

Alt 2. Falling

Alt 3. Comfort

Alt 4. Stitches

Alt 5. Stoic Whumpees

Alt 6. Altered States

Alt 7. Found Family

Alt 8. Adverse Reactions

Alt 9. Memory Loss

Alt 10. Nightmares

Alt 11. Presumed Dead

Alt. 12. Water

Alt. 13 Accidents

Alt. 14 Shot

Alt. 15 Carry/Support

Event Info

WHUMPTOBER is a month-long, prompt-based creation challenge (think: Inktober, but whumpier). There are 31 Official themes this year - one for each day of the month - which can be used, skipped, or combined in any way you’d like. They are meant to serve as inspiration without being taken literally (e.g. you don't have to include the exact wording into your work). Additionally, there are 3 prompts for each theme. These are optional suggestions and can be used in conjunction with the theme, or as options/alternatives. We want to give everyone as much creative freedom as possible, as well as increase event accessibility for folks with triggers and squicks.

Creators can PRODUCE work in any media they choose, including but not limited to: writing, visual artwork, and photo/video/audio edits. Creators can PARTICIPATE as much or as little as they want (i.e. you don’t have to do ALL the prompts if you don’t want to) and prompts can be used in any order. They are also free to use even after the event ends.

When uploading Whumptober content to your blog, be sure to tag the with:

#whumptober2020 …..(the event tag)

#no.1, #no.2, #no.3, …..(theme number)

#bruised, #stabbed, …..(the theme or specific prompt you chose)

#fandom or #OC

#medium …..(gifs, fic, podcast, art, etc.)

#teeth, #etc …..(trigger warnings & any additional tags. Keep in mind not to add “tw” in front but only use the word/trigger itself, because tumblr sucks)

#nsfw, #nsfwhump …..(only for nsfw content)

PLEASE BE DILIGENT WITH YOUR TAGGING. Only properly tagged posts are considered for archiving on the official @whumptober2020 blog. They must be tagged in the order above.

Unfortunately, due to the sheer number of participants in recent years, we cannot guarantee your work will be archived. A random selection of properly tagged posts from all genres will be reblogged each day.

Whumpers who produce content for 31 total theme days are considered event completionists and will be tagged in a masterpost at the end of the month.

Questions not addressed below can be directed to this blog as well.

Thanks for reading, and happy whumping!

Frequently Asked Questions

Q. What kind of content can I make? Can it be NSFW?

This is a MIXED MEDIA event! You can write fic, post meta, doodle or paint, create a gif set or photo edit, link a song, or get crafty with video - anything goes. As for NSFW, make what you like, we just hope that you’ll tag your work accordingly so that others participating in the event can stay safe :)

Q. Do I have to do all 31 Days? Can I post early/late?

Participate as much or little as you like, and post whenever! Just be sure to tag your posts properly (ex. #no.11, #psych101). Combining prompts into one piece of work is okay, and posting late is as well so as long as it’s in October.

Q. What if I don’t understand a theme?

Send us an ask! We’re happy to help clarify. That said, the themes are entirely up for interpretation :)

Q. Can I combine Whumptober with other creation challenges?

Absolutely! That’s like shooting two whumpees with one bullet :)

Q. Can I upload/repost my whumptober content to other social media platforms?

Of course! We’ve created an AO3 Collection to archive any fics posted there. The archive can be accessed here. The blog is the official archive, so please respect the boundaries of any closeted whumpers in your social circle :)

Q. Can I use prompts to write a new chapter for an existing fic?

Yes

Q. An existing fic I am currently writing contains many of the Whumptober prompts, can I use it?

If you are actively writing this fic at the moment with the whumptober prompts in mind, yes. If it just conveniently checks the boxes, then please don’t. You can, however, add new chapters answering one or more of the prompts.

Q. What kind of characters can I write for?

Fandom characters, OC characters, human, furry, alien, cyborg, whoever you like.

Q. Can I use a prompt multiple times?

Yes, but it only counts once

Q. If I’m not comfortable with one day's prompts can I use a prompt of a different day as a substitute and still be a completionist?

Yes, but please do not use a specific prompt twice. We have also created an alternate prompts list that you can draw from [here].

Q. Where can I post my work?

Post where and how you want. You don’t even have to (cross)post it to Tumblr. Just keep in mind if it’s not on Tumblr we will not be able to add it to the blog archive.

Q. Can I start posting early?

You can, but this is an October event and wouldn’t it be more fun with everyone doing it at the same time? That being said, you can post early, but we won’t be reblogging any work predating October 1st.

Q. Do I have to finish a fic I started/can I post WIP’s.?

Yes you can post WIPs. And you’re not obligated to finish it in October for it to count towards being a completionist.

Q. Is co-writing allowed?

Yes, absolutely, and it would count towards being a completionist for both/all of you :)

Q. Do I have to create 31 standalone pieces to be considered a completionist or can I write one continuous story?

One continuous story is fine. The challenge is to write something for 31 prompts. If that’s spread over 31 fics or just one, you are still considered a completionist. (The same goes for every other media you choose.)

Q. Is there a min/max limit on word count?

There is no limit

Q. Can I combine prompts? Is there a limit on how many?

No limit and combine as many as you’d like.

Q. Is a hc/angst focus ok?

Of course!

Q. What’s considered nsfw?

See this post

Q. What's whump?

See this post

Q. My interpretation of the prompt isn't whumpy at all, does that count?

No, sorry, but keep in mind that whump [see definition] is something very nuanced and different for everyone and emotional whump/angst is just as much part of it, as is physical whump and torture. So before you dismiss your idea, think about this.

Q. Can I start working on the prompts before October?

Absolutely! That’s why we posted the prompts a month in advance. We recognise how difficult it can be creating for 31 days in “real time”.

Q. How do I tag triggers?

tw at the end of the word, ex. emeto tw

Q. Do I have to use your tags?

Yes, if you want your work archived on the blog. If not, feel free to use whatever tags you want.

Q. Does combining prompts count towards completion?

Yes

Q. Can we @ you?

Yes but we mostly rely on the whumptober2020 tag

Q. Is there anything we are absolutely not allowed to write?

There are no rules, just be sure to properly tag your trigger warnings. And keep in mind Tumblr’s policies if you are posting it here (or the policies of whatever site you use).

Q. Where can I go for brainstorming help?

Here on Discord

Q. My characters are minors, is that ok?

Yes, but as with everything else, tags are your best friend.

Q. Can I cross post on other blogs?

Yes, multiple platforms and blogs are perfectly acceptable. You can also post different works to different accounts under different names, without posting them everywhere at once.

Note: This is a creation challenge, please don’t repost your old work under our tags (unless it’s been changed or edited for the event).

#eventinfo2020 #whumptober2020 #whumptober #promptlist2020 #prompt list #FAQs #event info

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undertale-data · 3 years

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[Image Description: An Undertale chat box that has “WHY FANS LOVE UNDERTALE” at its center. Next to it are a line chart and an Egg from the Dating Hub on its left, and a CRIME measurer (also from the Dating Hub) on its right. End I.D.]

[Image Description: a pie chart titled, “LEVEL OF LOVE FOR UNDERTALE.” The textbox on the top right reads, “On a scale of 1 to 10, 1 being the least and 10 being the highest, how much do fans enjoy Undertale?” From the top going clockwise, 12 or 0% chose 5 and below; 23 or 1% chose 6; 98, or 4%, chose 7; 325, or 12%, chose 8; 529, or 20%, chose 9; and 1664, or 63%, chose 10. End I.D.]

It’s clear from all of the data analyzed so far that fans who took the time to answer our survey love Undertale. It is unlikely that they would have taken the time to answer so many questions if they had not, and even less likely that they would have come across our survey in the first place. Naturally, it comes as no surprise that 63% of our responders gave their love for Undertale a score of ten out of ten. 95% gave their love for Undertale a score of eight or higher, and only 12 responders responded with five or below, a number so small that their responses had to be lumped together to be visible on the pie chart. Of those, only 3 responders gave their love for Undertale a score of 1, and based on those responders’ other answers, it is likely that they were only intending to troll. We are very fortunate that the vast majority of responders took the survey seriously, enough so that responses like this are barely a blip in the data.

Now, for our final analysis post of the event, we will delve into the reasons that fans love Undertale so dearly.

(Essay and highlights under the cut.)

There have been countless essays on the impact that Undertale has had on people’s lives. I can hardly add more on the subject than what has already been said, but I hope this summary can provide a brief overview of what stood out among the over two thousand answers given in response to this survey. That said, due to the sheer volume of answers, I could not read every single one in depth—however, I did skim all of them, and some that stood out or were representative of several responses have been highlighted below. If you would like to see what every fan who consented to share their response had to say, you may view the full list of responses here. Note that these responses have not been edited in any way. This document may take a long time to load, as it is over 100 pages long.

(Warnings for mentions of suicidal thoughts in the following essay.)

Several responders loved the theme of choices mattering in Undertale. Whether people played the pacifist, merciless, or neutral routes, they enjoyed how the game reacted to their actions. For some, it even made them consider their own morality. One touching response explained the impact that the theme of mercy made on them. “I realized that Mercy isn't something that's given to those who deserve it. Flowey didn't deserve it. I don't deserve it myself. Shoot, we ALL need Mercy in our lives.” Many fans left similar comments about how the themes of Undertale made them better people.

Undertale changed how its fans treat others, and it also changed how fans treat themselves. The theme of staying determined and the messages of hope in the game were a light to a very large portion of fans. I cannot list all of the fans who said that Undertale helped them out of a dark place, or that they would not be alive if not for Undertale. “DETERMINATION became a metaphor for not killing myself at a really rough time in my life and I’ll always cherish that. Undertale isn’t afraid to go to really dark places but at the same time holds on so tight to its hope.”

Undertale brought fans together in unexpected ways. Some said they met friends or significant others through the fandom. “I wouldn't have met my now husband without Undertale,” one fan said. A different fan who is non-native English speaking mentioned that the game and the fan community helped them to learn English.

It would be impossible to discuss Undertale without mentioning the fan community. Whether for good or bad, many responders mentioned the fandom in their responses. Overall the feelings towards the fandom seem positive, though many made references to “toxic” parts of the fandom without specifying which parts they consider toxic. Others rejected the idea of toxicity in fandom. One response said: “[SLAMS FIST ON DESK] I KNOW MOST PEOPLE SAY THE FANDOM IS TOXIC AND CRINGE OR WHATEVER BUT OH MY GOD. The Undertale fandom, both the UTMV and the actual UT fandom, has been so much fun to be a part of. I've met countless friends because of our shared interest in something related to the game! The art people create can be breathtaking and so inspirational, and the fanfics are so so good!! I've seen people write incredible things for this fandom and it's what made me continue writing!”

One thing that makes the Undertale fandom unique is the way it embraces various AUs. Some fans are tired of AU content, but the majority of responses show a love for the creativity behind AUs. “Roll your eyes at the 50th AU Sans all you want, it's encouraging people to step outside the boundaries of fanart and pushing people to make their own ideas! I mean, hell, it was how I gained the confidence to start making my own original content.” The lack of a judgemental atmosphere seems present in the AU community, according to the responses we saw. There is an interesting balance between AU and canon (sometimes referred to as “classic”) content that another responder pointed out: “The fandom helped keep the game alive all these years, with all of its AUs. Although personally, I always enjoyed AUs that kept characters as close to the classic material as possible (dancetale, outertale) I do appreciate the creativity of the fandom. They almost created entirely new stories with new characters of their own! If it weren't for those people, the Undertale fandom would have probably not been as active as it is now. I do feel like we're getting a resurgence of classic content now too! (In 2021)”

Regardless of the many AUs the fandom has created over the years, the original game of Undertale still feels like home for many fans. They wished they could reclaim the feeling of playing the game again for the first time, but even though we can’t reset time in real life, there is still a special feeling for fans each time they play Undertale. One fan said, “Even the best fics I've read can't capture that feeling of nostalgia/almost-"coming home" that comes with hearing the music and talking to the characters.” This feeling is one that can be cherished time and time again. In the words of another responder: “It always feels welcoming like home or like comfort food that I never grow tired of no matter how many times I go to it.” Others pointed out the strength of the found family trope in Undertale, which likely contributes to this feeling of “home” as well.

As mentioned briefly earlier, the music is part of what makes Undertale feel like home for fans. Even when responses focused on other aspects of the game, many would throw in a comment about the soundtrack at the end. One comment focused on the music said “IT'S SO GOOD like I will literally go through the entire thing over and over and not be bored with it. It makes my monkey brain so happy you have no idea.” Like with the game itself, the music has incredible replay value, an amazing feat considering most of the tracks use the same few motifs. “I think what I like the most about Undertale is how the music attaches you to the story,” another responder said. “They're simple melodies that stick with you throughout the whole game, and they can remind you of both good and bad times.”

If the music sticks with fans in their hearts, then the game’s lore sticks with fans in their minds. Even six years after the release of Undertale, fans are still creating new theories and digging up new secrets. The way the game breaks the fourth wall in particular intrigued many fans and has stuck out through all these years. The awareness that the game shows for the RPG genre makes it memorable. The game plays with the player’s expectations and turns them on their heads, all while reminding the player that they’re in a game. There are few other games that do this on such a large scale, so it’s no surprise that fans cite this as one of their favorite things about Undertale.

Lastly, the LGBT+ representation in Undertale has been a huge draw for fans. Especially in 2015, the sheer volume of non-cishet characters was unprecedented, as one fan pointed out: “It's practically unheard of to see so MANY from just one source, especially during its heyday in 2015-16. Hell, you can't even GET the true pacifist ending without helping two gay couples hook up. It's really nice to see all of them being accepted for who they are and not judged for their sexuality or gender, at least in-canon.” The LGBT+ cast including Frisk, Chara, Napstablook, Monster Kid, Mettaton, Alphys, and Undyne each connected with fans in unique ways. It’s clear how important this is from responses such as: “There are canon nonbinary characters 🥺. i have never seen representation of myself before.” “It made me gay and trans so thanks for that.”

Once again I am overwhelmed with just how much there is to say about Undertale. One responder really understood when they compared Undertale to an iceberg, explaining that there are so many layers to the game that there is something for everyone: “everyone can find something to enjoy in the lore/game regardless of what kind of fan they are! Being able to appeal to various types of fans—from simple happy shipper people to deep dive lorediggers—is the mark of the coolest games!” I would have to agree with them.

It’s been six years, and despite everything, it’s still you. Thank you for reading, participating in this survey, and above all, staying determined.

Highlights:

DETERMINATION became a metaphor for not killing myself at a really rough time in my life and I’ll always cherish that. Undertale isn’t afraid to go to really dark places but at the same time holds on so tight to its hope.

I think the coolest thing was having the opportunity to watch the AU community grow from its bare roots. It's nearly insane how big and complex it's gotten, unlike anything I'd ever seen before. Roll your eyes at the 50th AU Sans all you want, it's encouraging people to step outside the boundaries of fanart and pushing people to make their own ideas! I mean, hell, it was how I gained the confidence to start making my own original content.

i love how the lgbt rep is so naturalized... there are just gay people! and its nobodys business!

The music is my go to answer, but what I really really REALLY love is how the minor characters have so much personality to them when you talk to them. They aren't incredibly important to the overall story, but they're all so likeable and diverse that you just can't help but like them immediately!

I think it was the first videogame I have played that broke the fourth wall that much. Of course there has been other videogames that broke it but just for one or two tongue-in-cheek jokes. The guilt of killing mama goat was also something intense as well that I appreciated as an experience and that I didn't think a videogame could cause on someone.

I love how no character can be seen as completely bad! Everyone builds up Asgore as some horrible villain, but he turns out to be a 'fuzzy pushover' who's broken and just wants his family back by the time you meet him. Then you think Flowey's an irredeemable killer who engineered the suffering of the monsters across many timelines, and he is... but he also used to be the kind and beloved Prince Asriel Dreemurr, traumatized by his death and subsequent rebirth, projecting his best friend onto you.

The fact that choices matter in the game. Your first playthrough and getting the golden ending for the first time. I can never replicate those feelings again, wish I could erase my memories and replay the game from the start.

I wouldn't have met my now husband without Undertale.

(Toxic parts of the fandom aside) The community is possibly one of the kindest I've ever met. Cringe culture is completely dead, and I feel like I can be myself. I felt a very close connection to many of the characters, and I loved consuming content about them when I was in a rough patch in my life.

just everything, the whole game has just impacted my life so much. i know it sounds really lame, but when the game first came out, i would purposely put my hands in my pockets and sway slightly, like sans' idle animation. of course i dont do that anymore haha, but undertale still really impacts me to this day, and i wouldnt have it any other way :)

it made me gay and trans so thanks for that

I realized that Mercy isn't something that's given to those who deserve it. Flowey didn't deserve it. I don't deserve it myself. Shoot, we ALL need Mercy in our lives.

The thing I love most about Undertale is no matter how many times I play or watch a playthrough it always makes me genuinely happy. It always feels welcoming like home or like comfort food that I never grow tired of no matter how many times I go to it. Toriel still makes me feel all warm and cozy in her home, the Skelebros always make me laugh, and I still cry on the inside watching Frisk comforting Asriel. And on the flip side the No Mercy run still invokes the negative emotions in me as well. In short Undertale just feels like a second home to me and I always wish I could stay.

The reader inserts are my favorite way to decompress after a hard day

I think Undertale helped me discover my love for 8-bit games, and made me realize how IMPORTANT music is in video games.

the worldbuilding and character design are my favorite parts of the main game apart from the music! I’m also a huge fan of the random AU music- not for like underswap or underfell i like the stuff where someone makes a megalovania for a random au where gru from despicable me replaces sans as the character. i think its funny

Just... the vibe, honestly? Even the best fics I've read can't capture that feeling of nostalgia/almost-"coming home" that comes with hearing the music and talking to the characters.

there are canon nonbinary characters 🥺. i have never seen representation of myself before.

[SLAMS FIST ON DESK] I KNOW MOST PEOPLE SAY THE FANDOM IS TOXIC AND CRINGE OR WHATEVER BUT OH MY GOD. The Undertale fandom, both the UTMV and the actual UT fandom, has been so much fun to be a part of. I've met countless friends because of our shared interest in something related to the game! The art people create can be breathtaking and so inspirational, and the fanfics are so so good!! I've seen people write incredible things for this fandom and it's what made me continue writing!

There's a scene where Frisk (the player) is going towards what is presumably going to be their death. They will fight Asgore and he will use their human soul to break the barrier and free his people. The music, despite the player's impending doom, is... triumphant. You are not the triumphant one here, and yet, the score invites you to experience the monsters' joy and happiness as they tell you the tale of their subjugation. The monsters are going to be free. This is their victory, but they don't hate you or want you to die. They're just... happy. That scene has always struck me very deeply. I feel it represents the best parts of Undertale.

I loved how well thought out the Geno route was. It really made me feel like I was doing something horrible, and the characters were very obviously reacting to dire circumstances.

I dunno? I like Undertale for it's characters, story, music, secrets and many more. I am not good with Headcanons but I also like the neutral endings and how different they can depending on who you spare and kill

I was very bad at english before, i thought i couldn't progress because i was very shy and not confident. But my sibling and i wanted to have the best experience with this game so we wanted to play it in english. It's this game and the fandom which helped me to make huge progress in english !

THE SOUNDTRACK. IT'S SO GOOD like I will literally go through the entire thing over and over and not be bored with it. It makes my monkey brain so happy you have no idea.

to avoid writing an essay i will say one word. Mettaton

It is like Toby specifically made the games to fit the iceberg meme and it's awesome, everyone can find something to enjoy in the lore/game regardless of what kind of fan they are! Being able to appeal to various types of fans - from simple happy shipper people to deep dive lorediggers is the mark of the coolest games!

I love almost everything about Undertale as a game on its own. The music, the art and especially the characters and how they interact. They made me feel at home. Undertale means a huge amount to me. (I even got a tattoo of the castle when you and MK walk together!) The fandom helped keep the game alive all these years, with all of its AUs. Although personally, I always enjoyed AUs that kept characters as close to the classic material as possible (dancetale, outertale) I do appreciate the creativity of the fandom. They almost created entirely new stories with new characters of their own! If it weren't for those people, the Undertake fandom would have probably not been as active as it is now. I do feel like we're getting a resurgence of classic content now too! (In 2021)

the mystery. toby fox refused to give answers to anything and i think thats very sexy of him.

I just feel guilty for liking it so much when I'm in my 30's. But I recently got diagnosed with ASD, so I guess it explains things a bit. Many ppl consider Papyrus to be neurodivergent, and some adult fans are too, so seeing that makes me feel a bit better.

i think about "Despite everything, it's still you" everyday of my life.

I like how it's just as funny as it can be serious. All routes are this way. I laughed as much as I cried when I played the Pacifist route and then once I opened the game again and Flowey was telling me to let them be happy, I immediately turned off the game. I somehow felt bad.

The Found Family Trope

The True Pacifist Ending is just...man. And the fanworks about saving everyone even when the game doesn't let you? MANNNNNN

I think what I like the most about Undertale is how the music attaches you to the story. They're simple melodies that stick with you throughout the whole game, and they can remind you of both good and bad times.

there's honestly a LOT to love about this game, but i think one of my favorite things about it is just how many lgbt+ characters there are??? i can think of alphys, undyne, frisk, chara, mettaton, napstablook, monster kid, asgore, mad mew mew, the dress lion, the royal guards, and arguably even papyrus off of the top of my head, but im sure i'm forgetting a few from just undertale alone (there's even MORE in deltarune)!! it's practically unheard of to see so MANY from just one source, especially during its heyday in 2015-16. hell, you can't even GET the true pacifist ending without helping two gay couples hook up. it's really nice to see all of them being accepted for who they are and not judged for their sexuality or gender, at least in-canon.

[Image description: A wordcloud in the shape of the capitalized word UNDERTALE. The text is white on a black background, and uses the font found in the game. Some of the most visible words are: Game, Love, Music, Life, AU, Store, Friend, and Feel, which represent the most common words in the essays people wrote about their love for the game. End of ID]

#undertale #analysis #results #undertale fandom census

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dwellordream · 3 years

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A Six of Crows Review: Joost and Inej I

This marks the beginning of my review of Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo. Before I go any further, I want to provide context for my experience/knowledge of the book and its fandom. Six of Crows was published in 2015 when I was 16. I picked it up in a bookstore and read the first few chapters idly while shopping, before putting it back down.

At the time, my dislike of what I’d read was probably primarily fueled by the realization that it was by the same author as Shadow and Bone, which I had tried to read a few years before and disliked, and because at the time I was aging out of the YA genre in general and had very little patience for many of its familiar tropes.

In recent years, Six of Crows and its companion and predecessor series, the Grisha Trilogy, have become one of the most popular YA series online. The avid fan response and promotion of it on social media no doubt led to the Netflix series being greenlit and it is obviously trending at present due to the success of the series. With all that in mind, I’ve decided to try Six of Crows again and see for myself what all the hype is about.

Some more caveats: I am 22 years old. I am aware Six of Crows is YA literature intended for a middle and high school audience. I will not be holding it to the standards I would hold an adult grade fantasy book, in terms of prose, themes, or content. I am aware that I am not necessarily the target audience for the book and these reviews are in no way intended to shame or disparage anyone who enjoys the book.

Criticism is a healthy part of any fandom and does not necessarily constitute hate. I will likely critique elements of the book in my write up. That does not mean I have a personal vendetta against the author, publishers, or the TV show. Please do not take this as a personal attack if you’ve enjoyed the book. This is just intended to promote discussion and to gather my own thoughts.

If you follow me, I am tagging this as ‘in review’ so you know what to block if you don’t want to see my posts on your dash. I will be going through 1-2 chapters per weekend. This weekend I will be looking at the prologue, aka Joost, and the first Inej chapter.

Jumping into things, here is Joost:

The prologue is our introduction to Ketterdam, the setting of Six of Crows. It’s been a very long time since I read Shadow and Bone and so all I really know is that Ketterdam is a city in an island known as Kerch, based off the map. The major countries or kingdoms of the mainland to the east appear to be Fjerda, Ravka, and Shu Han, though it is unclear how they differ from one another at this point.

Ketterdam through Joost’s eyes is a sinister and dreary place, a city under a grimy night sky and full of dangers. Joost works as a hired guard for a very wealthy man named Hoede, who keeps grishas, powerful magic users, as indentured servants. Joost is infatuated with one of them, Anya, a healer, though he knows she is not likely to return his affections and furthermore cannot wed without the permission of her owner. We also learn that grishas are at risk for being kidnapped and sold by slavers due to their value. However, the indentured servant system of Ketterdam thus far doesn’t seem to be much better than slavery, given how little freedom the grisha have.

Overall, the prologue is supposed to give us a sense for the setting of Ketterdam and interest us in the main hook of the novel, which seems to be a mysterious substance that grisha can ingest to heighten their powers for the benefit of their masters, though it has the risks of making them uncontrollable. How well is this done?

Through Joost’s perspective we can glean several things; Ketterdam is a dirty city with rampant income inequality, full of crime and corruption. Magic is an established system within Ketterdam, but the magic users do not seem to be at the type of the hierarchy despite their powers, which suggests they are a minority to the extent of which they can still be controlled by the elite class of non magic users, if they have enough money and power.

It is also very obvious through the references in the prologue that Ketterdam is heavily based off the Netherlands during the Golden Age, which was Amsterdam’s (Ketterdam… Amsterdam… not subtle) economic and cultural boom during the 17th century, aka the 1600s. Notably the world’s first stock exchange began in Amsterdam in 1602, and it was a major port and trading hub for the Dutch East and Dutch West India Companies.

It is not clear if Ketterdam is also intended to be a 1600s-esque society, timeline wise, but we know that rifles are common place and there is a thriving merchant class who rule as opposed to old aristocracy, which seems to indicate a Renaissance style setting, as well as the urban environment in general. (That said, from the advertisements for the Netflix show, they seem to have updated it to a more Victorian-era 1800s society, in terms of fashion and general aesthetics).

Overall, the prologue does its job. It gives us a vague idea of what Ketterdam is like, how the society is structured, and who holds the power. It also ends on a suspenseful cliffhanger, leaving Joost’s fate unclear. Where it falls flat is that I think a little more time could have been spent fleshing out Joost as a narrator, even if this is his only showing in the book.

His internal monologue comes across as a bit dry and mechanical, as if the author is aware he is just a means to an end to start the book off with a bang, and he quickly turns into a walking camera (just there to report events to the reader, with no internal input from him), for the second half of the prologue, as we switch to just watching Anya and Hoede through his eyes. That said, it’s not a major problem, as Joost is clearly not intended to be a main character, and his narration still effectively conveys what is happening and sets the dark tone of the novel.

What I would have liked to see from the prologue is perhaps the POV of Anya herself, or the small child she is being forced to experiment on, as that might have been a more compelling and immerse introduction to Ketterdam and its dangers rather than the fairly bland and neutral Joost, who doesn’t really feel like a character so much as a bland stand-in for the reader. If we were put in the shoes of Anya, suddenly called upon by her power hungry employer to participate in this unethical test, or in the shoes of the small boy caught up in the middle of this, it might have been both more thrilling to read and given a more gritty sense of what it’s like to be on the lowest rungs of Ketterdam’s society, at the mercy of the most powerful.

Moving onto Inej, we run into some similar problems. After Inej’s first chapter, I couldn’t tell you a single thing about her, other than that she was an acrobat as a child, that she is part of the street gang known as the Dregs, and that she intensely values loyalty. This isn’t a problem, per say, but while that’s all good to know, it doesn’t give me any sense of Inej’s actual personality, which doesn’t exactly bode well. Like Joost, she comes across more as a walking camera and occasional tourist guide as opposed to a human character with her own worries, hopes, and fears.

I think this may become a recurring problem with Bardugo’s writing - ie all tell, no show. Inej is good at telling things. She tells us where we are as we follow her to the location of a stand-off between rival gangs, she tells us that Kaz, their leader ‘doesn’t need a reason’, though she never exactly explains what that means other than that he is widely feared, she tells us that she is very fond of her knives.

But in terms of writing, we shouldn’t have to be force fed all this information via her internal monologue, which, again, entirely cuts out once the action picks up, just like Joost’s. While I don’t need her thoughts on every threat or gunshot, it would be nice to feel as if she hadn’t just vanished from the story completely as soon as the dialogue starts.

We also meet Kaz and Jesper, though I couldn’t tell you much about them utter than that Inej clearly admires, even venerates Kaz as an accomplished intimidator and chess master, and that Jesper is clearly the joker of the group.

It also feels incredibly weird that this parley between gangs in happening in front of the city’s stock exchange. Inej tells us this is because the Exchange is one of the few remaining neutral territories, but it’s also heavily guarded, which means every time a gang wants to parley, they have to pay out the cash to bribe all the guards to very pointedly ignore a meeting between rambunctious and trigger happy street gangsters on their literal doorstep.

I understand why Bardugo chose this location, wanting to contrast the violence of the gang members with the economic injustice that the Exchange and its merchant rulers represents, but it just seems a bit silly. They couldn’t meet at the docks? In an alley way? This is like picturing the American Mafia hosting a public meeting at the New York Stock Exchange with a bunch of cops twiddling their thumbs nearby.

The foreshadowing that Bollinger is the traitor (‘I’m not going to bet on my own death’) also seems very heavy handed and a little much, but I’ll let it slide.

It’s also not really clear while Inej is present at this meeting in the first place. Kaz commands her to keep watch from above, but he has also put a contingency plan in place that doesn’t even involve her, having bought out some of Geels’ men from under him. Why put Inej looking down from above if you’re not involving her in this plan? Her only role seems to be to watch, and she doesn’t even have a gun she could play sniper with. It just seems like a hamfisted way of getting Inej out of the danger zone so the author can have her as a passive spectator to the violence that follows.

This is my main problem with this chapter. It’s supposed to introduce us to Inej, but really, it’s introducing us to Kaz. Which is fine, but as he also has a POV in this book, it seems a bit lame that her own chapter is completely overtaken by showing off A. his smarts and B. how dangerous he is, despite being dismissed as a young ‘cripple’ by the likes of Geels.

Geels is also… not a greatly done villain. I get that he’s supposed to be small fry and is just a precursor to much more threatening opponents, but his every line of dialogue feels designed to show off how cool and Machiavellian Kaz is in comparison. He doesn’t seem like an actual hardened criminal who has underestimated his opponent, but a somewhat cheesy cartoon thug who unironically says things like “How are you going to wriggle your way out of this one?” with his full chest. The effect is comical, and not in a good way.

This chapter also shows off Kaz’s sadistic side in full display, which is probably one of the only interesting things about it, though it would be nice if we got any input at all from Inej on this… instead she completely vanishes from her own narration, to the point where she might as well not be present at all. Kaz has no qualms about tracking down his enemies’ weakness, such as lovers and family, and threatening them.

But the open horror and shock Geels reacts with seems incongruent, as if Kaz were the first up and coming gangster to actually consider threatening someone’s family or girlfriend. That seems pretty par for the course for violent criminals trying to claim territory and unnerve their rivals, yet Inej and Geels himself react as if no one had ever thought of sinking to the level of ‘do what I want or I’ll kill your loved ones’ until Kaz invented it. It just feels a bit silly and on the nose.

Really, my overarching issue with this chapter is that it’s not about Inej at all, it’s just an introduction to the Kaz Brekker fan club. I don’t automatically hate Kaz as a character, but his introduction is heavyhanded and comes at the cost of any establishing character moments for Inej. The most we get out of her is her brief pangs of sympathy for Bollinger despite his treachery, and her brief reference to her childhood. Maybe future Inej chapters will totally change this, but right now, it’s not a great sign of what’s to come.

I can think of about a hundred things Inej could have done or said this chapter to develop or establish her personality at all, but all we got was her briefly holding a knife to someone, and her briefly saying a prayer for Bollinger. I think it would have worked much better had this plan to catch Geels with his pants down been Inej’s invention or at least worked out between her and Kaz, rather than her just there to play lookout and admire how cool Kaz is.

Or at the very least, we could have seen the scene referenced where she searches the crime scene of the assassination, instead of that getting two lines and an entire chapter being devoted to what boils down to a pissing contest over which gangs gets rights to a certain neighborhood.

Next week, we will look at Kaz I.

#in review #six of crows #ya lit #inej ghafa

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videcoeur · 4 years

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OOC + Rules

Name: Julie

Nicknames: Julie or Vide

Age: 30+

Pronouns: Any but It

Orientation: Ace (sex positive)/demiromantic

Birthday: 05/09

Zodiac: Taurus

Timezone: EST (GMT-4)

RP Experience: 20+ years

Triggers: Suicide/SH (IRL only)

Squicks: Fat shaming

Important Note: 18+ only

MORE ABOUT ME

My native language is French (Canadian). Typos and mistakes in English are common. If that bothers you, I understand and wish you the best!

I work 40 hours a week and have several hobbies that I try to keep up with and severly fails.I Know Not™ what self restraint is so I have 300 fantrolls, 200+ fandomless ocs and several canon muses.

DESPITE MY PROFICIENCY AT CREATING NEW CHARACTERS, I PHYSICALLY AND MENTALLY CANNOT MAINTAIN MORE THAN ONE BLOG.I CAN FUCK AROUND AND FIND OUT WITH OVER 500 DIFFERENT PERSONALITIES BUT NOT 2+ BLOGS, SUE ME.

I’m usually super friendly and welcoming, but I don’t talk a lot. I struggle with social anxiety, so I’ll talk to you through tags but most likely won’t initiate convos on Discord and stuff. I don’t ignore/hate you, social interactions just drain me.

I aspire to become an author and have begun to write several stories, but work+rp+art is stealing 99 percent of my time. Maybe someday I’ll sit down to finish them. All you need to know about me is that I LOVE WRITING.

I would love to go on and on but uh I’m not super good at talking about myself. And now, onto the rules.

DNI

MINORS.

ANYONE WHO HAS SKEWED, NON-INCLUSIVE VIEWS TOWARD THE LGBT COMMUNITY.

RACISTS.

TRUMP SUPPORTERS (yes, even if he’s out of office, and yes it matters even if this is just fictional barbies we’re throwing at each other)

IRL PEDOPHILIA APOLOGISTS (People calling themselves MAP and/or saying pedophilia is the same as homosexuality, namely.)

COMPULSIVE/PATHOLOGICAL LIARS, SUICIDE BAITERS, MANIPULATORS.

PEOPLE WHO POST A CALLOUT A WEEK. I DO NOT PARTICIPATE IN CALLOUT CULTURE, UNLESS A CALLOUT IS BUILT ON SOLID EVIDENCE FOR REAL LIFE ILLEGAL SHIT.

I am not going to follow people who actively roleplay nsfw with underage muses for my own comfort in this space. Also, don’t drag me in the anti/proship drama.

If you really need my opinion about this: I don’t care what people do with their fictional barbies as long as it’s fictional. I am not comfortable with some topics, however, and don’t want them on my dash. I am never going to judge anyone for whatever they do in fiction.

General Roleplay Rules

Don’t feel obligated to pick a muse! If you don’t, I’ll pick one for you c: Just specify if you are interested in OCs or not in your ask, though, if you are a canon muse! If you specify no oc’s, I’ll pick a canon muse from your fandom if I have one available c: I am also SUPER THRILLED about crossovers and oc/canon interactions c:

No godmodding, no forced shipping, no killing unless discussed first, etc.

Mun =/= Muse

Don’t reblog asks for new roleplays, make a new post please!

I rp on discord on demand. You have a direct link to my discord on the home page, but please, let me know before adding me.

I DON’T MIND ROLEPLAYING WITHOUT SPRITES/ICONS

I GREATLY PREFER PARAGRAPH/LITERATE ROLEPLAY to crack and one liners.

Good grammar is appreciated but English is not my native language so I’m not too picky. Just make sure you are readable.I usually give everyone a chance but I reserve the right to drop a roleplay/partner. I will politely notify you if that’s the case.

Shipping

I do not instaship nor do I do pre-established stuff. I just can’t. My muses are their own and will fuck up a perfect plotline no matter how much I want them to stay in their lane. I will try if we’re friends and you understand this might not work.

Due to past experiences that left me very uncomfortable, I will not practice ship exclusivity. If the thought of me being a multishipper bothers you, please do not attempt to ship with me. Thank you for understanding.

Triggers

There might be triggers appearing from time to time on this blog. Nsfw and triggers will be tagged/readmore’d. I do what I want, this is my adult blog in my adult space. Of course, if you want specific things tagged, let me know. I usually am pretty good with tagging, but if something I don’t tag need a tag, just ask/IM me about it.

PLEASE TAG IRL SUICIDAL POSTS, SELF HARM POSTS AND ANYTHING THAT HAS TO DO WITH SUICIDE IN GENERAL. I ALSO APPRECIATE TAGGING ANY DISCOURSE RELATED TO BODY SHAMING, BODY POLICING OR FETISHISTIC BODIES DISCOURSE WITH #BODYCOURSE, #JULIE DON’T LOOK, OR #VIDE DON’T LOOK. I MIGHT UNFOLLOW IF THESE THINGS ARE NOT TAGGED, FOR MY MENTAL HEALTH, AT LEAST UNTIL THE DISCOURSE IS OVER.

Following/Unfollowing/Blocking

IF YOU UNFOLLOW ME, I WILL UNFOLLOW YOU AS WELL.

Not out of spite, I just take it as a sign you are not interested in roleplaying with me and would rather keep my dash for mutuals! As a side note,

IF I BLOCK YOU DON’T BLOCK-EVADE TO ASK ME WHY I BLOCKED YOU.

I block for a multitude of reasons and I do not owe you an explanation. I block liberally and curate my experience, I encourage everyone to do the same. However, I don’t usually do that to people I’ve been interacting with for a while. I will always talk to someone first if something bothers me before blocking. If we never interacted and I block you…deal with it.

Drama & Callouts

If you have beef with someone, don’t include me in it UNLESS IT’S REAL LIFE DANGER LEVEL OF SERIOUS AND YOU CAN BACK IT UP.

Thank you for understanding.

Reblog Karma

Changed my mind about this. I’m so little online that it really doesn’t matter anymore if you rb from me without sending anything. It used to bother me but not anymore considering I don’t have as much time as before to rp.

Interactions & Replies

Activity will vary according to my schedule. If it’s been more than a month since my last reply, feel free to notify me because sometimes it’s tumblr not showing me replies. I can take a while to reply though, fair warning.

Please do not flirt with me OOC, I’m happily taken and it kinda makes me uncomfortable.

ALL MY MUSES, EXCEPT HITOSHI SHINSO FROM BNHA, ARE 18+. Shinso also has a verse where he is 21 because I highly prefer roleplaying adult characters. The reason I age him up is not for NSFW, but because I am more comfortable thinking of my characters as adults. However, since he is underage in his canon, I will not be having any NSFW interaction with him, even in his adult verse.

ONE LAST RULE, IF YOU ARE A MINOR, PLEASE DO NOT FOLLOW ME.

I have nothing against you as a person, I would just prefer not to interact with someone who's over a decade younger than me. Just like a 30+ years old wouldn't hang with teens IRL, I don't do it online either. I also do not interact with people whose age (or adult status) is not indicated on their blog. To understand what I mean when I say no interaction with minors, please read THIS POST.

I don’t think I have any more rules. And I don’t have a password so if you are reading this, thank you for reading my rules!

#don't mind this #I'm doing it so I can add it to my pinned posts #long post tw

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i-dont-want-your-hysteria · 4 years

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a message.

This whole post is full of things I’ve wanted to say for a very long time. So yes, this is going to be very long.

Before I begin, I just wanted to say I’m sorry to the innocent people who had nothing to do with this. I’ve never ever been involved with online/fandom drama before, I hate being in this position so fucking much with all my heart and soul, and I never thought in my whole life that I’d be in this position, either.

Secondly, this is about the DEF LEPPARD FANDOM ON TUMBLR. If you’re not part of this fandom, kindly fuck off :^) This is not about you.

This post explains why I feel this way. And to those innocent people who aren’t involved with this, I’m sincerely sorry if any of this has changed your opinions of me.

I’m in a mood and a half, so I’ll do my best to effectively tell everything from my perspective. Read if you want, but this is just what I’m thinking.

I’ve been running this blog for almost three years now. When I first joined this fandom on tumblr at the beginning of 2018, there wasn’t really a ‘fandom’ per se; all the main blogs were dead, no one ever really posted, and there wasn’t much content. I decided to start a DL blog of my own to vent my love into it and not spam my main account.

Within a month, I could quickly see that some sort of renaissance was happening in this fandom; more blogs were popping up, more people were posting, and more people were just participating in general. There were memes now, there were conversations now- it was great! There was a real community; it was all about sharing information, spewing our love, getting creative, and interacting!

There was integrity, and there was respect for the band as well as one another.

I, as part of this community, wanted to do everything in my physical power to contribute in any way I could. I was insanely active and hyper-productive and could not be stopped. I still haven’t stopped, but I certainly have slowed down significantly (due to lack of new activity from the band and increased mental health issues I won’t get into). I don’t want to be self-centered and say that I was “running” this branch of the fandom for the past 2.7 years, but I was certainly a big player in it, and I feel everyone agreed (and some still agree) with that as well.

There were some times where disagreements happened. There were times where many of us knew that someone else was crossing a line in a post. We knew what qualified as “not okay” in terms of being perverted and such. We’d solve this by not blaming, not hounding, not sending anon hate, not calling out, but by presenting facts, talking maturely, and trying to right the wrongs as maturely as we could.

Yes, it was possible. Was.

I don’t think you guys realize just how much content I’ve contributed to this fandom. I have spent basically every single day of the past 3-ish years trying to spread information/content/photos/videos/links/etc. to everyone who follows me (and everyone who doesn’t). This fandom was (and I cannot stress this enough), literally my entire life for the past 3 odd years, and I really wanted to spend the rest of my life contributing to it the way I’ve been.

I don't think anyone on here realizes everything that I have done for this community. Because of me:

this fandom has access to Animal Instinct for free

this fandom has access to the rare picture disc interview

this fandom has numerous scans of photos that may have not ended up online otherwise (I also paid $70 to have access to some of these. You're welcome.)

we have Fabulist Icons content

we have a decent amount of fanfiction that doesn't only focus on the boys banging each other/sex in general (seriously, this simply didn’t exist on here before I started posting my shit)

we have a little more fan art

we have content from Phil's and Ross's books

we have hundreds (yes, literally, HUNDREDS) of edits/moodboards/memes/etc. that I made myself

we have gifsets of things that no one else would have made

we have achieved justice a lot of the time when content was stolen because I have defended everyone without question/rallied up armies the second I heard it happened

some of you have gotten updates on news/facts/history/details/etc. that you’ve never even heard of

probably a shit ton more things, but that’s all I can think of for now. You get the point.

But that’s only half the story. This band and fandom has given me so much to cherish over the past few years.

Because of this fandom and the people (that were once) in it, I have:

met Rick in person

met, quite honestly, my two best friends ever, @ballistic-lipstick-dream-machine (my true Terror Twin) and @paper-sxn (adopted little sister/cousin)

became in contact with Phil's guitar tech from the mid-80s (Mike)

gained creative ambition to play guitar, create art, write stories, make edits/gifs, travel, and basically just better myself

began a record collection that is now in the hundreds and gained a lot of knowledge from it

discovered a whole new genre of music

found a community/culture where, for the very very first time in my life, I felt like I BELONGED.

fallen in love with something and someone for the first time

felt like I actually mattered to people, like I was actually important (because people would always come to me for information or help if they needed it)

basically impacted every corner of my life

just about a million other things, too, but I will be here all night if I try to list them all.

To put it delicately: Def Leppard and this fandom on tumblr absolutely changed my life, and was the greatest thing that’s ever happened to me.

I have spread so much information around, you newer people wouldn't imagine. I have gathered and seen so much information, you wouldn't believe how much I know and how much I've learned. I have bounced back and forth between formats time after time again that I feel like I’m stuck in a time warp. I have edited so many things on non-professional programs that I am an MS paint expert. I have been here so long, that I’ve seen 98% of the people in this branch of the fandom rotate in and out at least two or three times.

That being said, all of the toxic people in this fandom will most likely be gone within the next 6 months.

Def Leppard has taught me so much, but a big thing was love and loyalty. It's clear that the majority of people in this fandom (read my lips- I am N O T saying anyone’s names. I mean that.) do not know the meanings of either of these words. I've been practically running this fandom on Tumblr for nearly three years now, you’ve seen all that I’ve done for you, and what have I gotten in return?

Slander, cyberbullying, disrespect, consistently stolen content, etc. That’s what I’ve gotten. I’ve never attacked anyone on here, and that is still something I won’t do.

Yes, I am against slash fic, and I can’t believe that THAT’S the only reason why I’m being torn down like this. Something so dumb and immature as that has torn my beloved community in half. I have never attacked ANYONE for writing slash fic, yet I’ve been getting attacked since August (it is November now) for simply believing it is wrong to openly admit you want the boys to fuck each other.

(I’d also like to point out that someone from the KISS fandom ((god knows why)) had the balls to call me “homophobic” for hating slashfic. I can’t even begin to explain how much I laughed at that.)

I just wanna say that these are REAL people you’re writing about, you know. Don’t you think THEY would be against it? I know I cannot stop anyone from writing slash (I’ve said that before, but no one seems to remember it). I don’t think any of you realize that there is a certain line you shouldn’t cross when it comes to the internet, and being perverted in such an explicit and disrespectful way is one of them. We always had integrity in this fandom, and slash was never part of something we stood for. We knew when to stop, and we kept the slash on rockfic.com (where it belongs imo. That’s like their element).

I was very confused when more slash fics started appearing on tumblr this year. Now, it seems like that’s all there is, and I’m disgusted.

Whenever something close to that happened in 2018, everyone would be totally against it, and we’d talk it out and explain. While we all had our fair share of horny (and maybe then some) in this fandom, but we always knew where to draw the line. That was the line. That line doesn’t exist anymore, apparently, and nobody knows how to be mature and respectful to the band, to each other, and just for fuck’s sake. Now, I’m being slammed that being perverted for them fucking their best friends is “just fandom, bitch” and “the norm” and that it’s done “out of respect”, which I will never understand. You can’t use “slash” and “respectful” in the same sentence, and you can’t change my mind, but I know I can’t change yours, either.

Slash is not, nor will it ever be, respectful. This fandom has become toxic.

Fanfiction is an outlet for creativity to be used for fun, not to be used as an excuse to project your sexually perverted sexuality headcannons/fetishes onto innocent, REAL, LIVE people. If all you write/read is them having sex with each other, then it really makes you wonder if it’s about “respect” anymore, doesn’t it?

In my opinion it’s fucked up that it’s “normal” and “just part of fandom” to create sexualities for- again- REAL, LIVE PEOPLE, and it’s everyone’s first instinct to argue that it’s fine, apparently? If you “respect” your idols so much like you claim you do, then why don’t you maybe respect their actual orientations instead of creating masturbation material for random 12 year olds and boomers, perhaps?

I don’t know what I did that was so fucking wrong in your eyes, as I’ve always tried to keep integrity in this area of tumblr.

I'm very deeply hurt, more than I've ever been by this. It physically hurts me to admit that this fandom has become as toxic as it currently is. I don’t feel welcome here anymore at all, despite practically running things on here for so long.

I don’t know how I could ever live without this fandom, but now it looks like I’m going to have to try, or at least try and rebuild it on my own (again). I don’t think I’ll ever be able to stop posting about Def Leppard, and after all, I only started posting about them for myself to begin with.

We were supposed to be the good fandom, the happy fandom, the fandom with no drama. I am ashamed to be associated with you now. I tried to stop it as best as I could, and hoped people would back me up, but I’ve received nothing but hate for simply trying to preserve some dignity.

You guys have been immature to say the least, and I find it very hard to believe that some of you are legal adults (but let’s be honest; most of you toxic people are probably too young to even be behind a computer, anyway).

I’ve had to block some people that I really didn’t want to, but the deed is done. Keep your slash to yourself, tag it, do a read more, post it somewhere else, even- that’s how you co-exist. Just don’t come after me because I think it’s wrong. I never came after anyone specifically like that.

This isn’t goodbye, but I certainly am leaving for a while. I hope I got my point, my history, and my perspective across.

And I hope you’re fucking happy, because you’ve destroyed something I loved.

-Rachel

#also to helena_s_renn on rockfic: suck my dick bitch :3 #thank you to those who have messaged me and been kind #time to watch my follower count dwindle at the speed of sound #goodbye

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anxiouslowercase · 4 years

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sweet escape

fandom: dc comics warning: none? just young adults heavily making out at some point. also it’s 5k summary: it's not that Cassie needs to get away from her friends per se, but if the opportunity presents itself for her to sneak out and meet the guy she's heavily falling for... well, she's going to take it. After all, it's not every day they casually coincide under the same roof at the exact same time - better make the best of it while she can. notes: everyone is of age (they’re in their twenties.) jay and cassie are not a couple, but rather kinda testing the waters and seeing what happens. yes we do love rarepairs in this house. and as always, massive thank you to @achinghcarts for being the best beta <3 ao3 link

Cassie fidgets with the phone in her hands, glancing at the time and, most importantly, at the notification bar atop the screen. It has been flicking alive repeatedly in the last hour or so, her messaging app the sole responsible of it. Not that this is something particularly unpleasant; oh no, on the contrary. Though linked to her rather restless state, the back-and-forth of texts in which she's been participating has done nothing but send occasional tickles to her stomach and put a dumb smile on her face that she's been doing her best to bite down. Which, yes it is kind of unbecoming because she's not fifteen anymore, but at the same time, how could something that makes her so giddy be something bad?

So no, it's not that she wanted that to stop. If anything, she just wanted things to escalate in some way, which in this particular case meant actually seeing the person she kept trying to flirt with via text. (Though whether such flirting was in any way successful is something Cassie cannot tell for sure yet - as much as she'd like to.) And one would think that, considering right now they are both under the same (enormous) roof, that wouldn't exactly be a problem - yet as she glances up at the three loud boys yelling at each other over who was very clearly cheating at Mario Kart, she can't be all that sure.

Though, of course, she can always try.

"Hey, Tim?" There's a sound quite similar to a hum or a grunt, and the girl figures that's an acknowledgement of sorts. "I'm gonna go get some water, I'll be right back."

"Bathroom's not that bad," Bart interjects quickly yet casually, eyes still trained to the screen in front of him.

"Y-yeah, but," she stands up from the bed, trying to act as nonchalant as possible. "I could use some ice cubes."

"If you're not back in forty minutes we'll send a search party." She resists the urge to smack the robin's head in passing, deciding instead to stealthy leave the room, conjuring up the most casual air to her step.

It all changes when she's in the hallway.

It's hard to say if nervous is the right word to describe her feelings. Her breath has picked up a small notch, and the steps she takes along the corridor are a bit unsure, but they do remain consistent; she is moving forward with this. The thing is, though, that Cassandra Sandsmark has never been exactly smooth, so it honestly beats her what is the best possible way to tell your boyfriend-that-is-not-boyfriend that you have ditched your friends to see him for a bit without exactly sounding desperate. Cause that she knows she isn't. Even if she actually chose her clothes carefully and tried to put a bit of make up on and definitely attempted to tame her curls before showing up at Wayne Manor today - that doesn't have to mean she's desperate.

Right?

No, of course not. Which is why she also can't just ask the guy to show up and meet her. It has to be a bit more casual than that, more natural - like yes she wants to see him but also no, she wouldn't just impose herself on him. Plus, Cissie always said you had to let boys believe they were the ones constantly scheming, that they were the ones in control. So he should believe he wanted her. She turns down another random corridor, her head too occupied in its thoughts to properly identify it. Maybe casually show up somewhere he could be? Pass by, expect him to notice her? Then maybe he'd think he is luring her away and--

Oh, who's she kidding - this is ridiculous.

Jason is not some boy, and they're not playing any kind of games with each other; they promised that much, for crying out loud! She is being not just desperate but also a freaking idiot for having left her friends when at no point there was any indication that the guy who isn't even her boyfriend, by the way, wanted to be with her now besides the flirty remarks that, frankly, she couldn't even guarantee were all that because she is the most incompetent flirt who's ever been on this Earth. And that's definitely counting Bart. And Tim. Hera, her aunt Aphrodite is probably ashamed.

And if that weren't enough, now she's Hermes knows where in freaking Wayne Manor, with no idea where Tim's room is, feeling too mortified and embarrassed to let her friends know. Which of course just means she's gonna have to keep wandering along the hallways, hoping that--

"Hey, Goldie." She barely manages to stop herself before awkwardly bumping into something that is very much not a wall. "Come here often?"

Hera, if you can hear her, please don't let Kon be monitoring her heartbeat right now. Because right there, in all his handsome glory, stands Jason Todd and, honestly, his smirk is doing things to her. Things as in almost sending her into cardiac arrest because she was very much caught off guard, or completely knocking the breath out of her. Oh, and let's not forget the already getting old leaving her totally speechless kind of thing. So yes, Cassie is not alright and therefore does not need her friends to be aware of such thing at any point soon. What she does need, however, is to say something, because as attractive as the man's smile is, there's only so much he'll make it last before surely look at her gaping self weird. So she takes a breath and-

"Hey," is the only thing she manages to croak out. Literally, the only one before her mind goes completely blank once again. Talk about appealing and attractive, huh? And here she'd thought her texts had been a failure.

Surprisingly though, either due to an altered state of mind, or because he got some kind of kick of seeing her struggle with the most basic functions, Jason does not leave or even look displeased. Instead, he reduces even further the distance between them, one of his hands coming to rest against the wall next to her head with an air of casualness that Cassie wouldn't have been able to emulate even in her best days. Heat creeps up her ears.

"Hey," he repeats, as if she hadn't made a fool of herself. "Looking for something?"

You. All my life, maybe, somehow.

"Uhm. Maybe?" Okay. Alright, that wasn't that bad, right? Could've been much worse, really.

He seems to think something similar, if the smirk turning wider on his lips is anything to go by. Lips that she could've sworn she was not staring at, honestly, but by Hera, now that she's looking into his eyes again, is he... Is he closer?

"Did you find it?" No, yeah, she's definitely trapped against the wall now, suffocating warmth spreading all over her face and heart hammering against her ribcage so bad it almost hurts. And yet she can't find it in her to move an inch; on the contrary, there's definitely a part of her that wants the distance between them to be even smaller. Or not to exist at all, that works too.

"M-maybe..." Her voice is barely over a whisper, and it's a pathetic display of self control, but honestly right now Cassie's only thoughts are about how she's sure she can feel Jason's fingertips almost brushing at her waist and Holy Hera why won't he just grab her already?

"Cool." His voice is low, the vibrations of it crashing against the skin on her neck, mixing with his breath and sending a pleasurable shiver down her spine. Her eyes flutter, and she almost unconsciously tilts her head to the side, inviting him to go ahead and kiss her, nibble, mark her.

... Okay, maybe that was a bit too much. Maybe she actually is a bit desperate. Especially considering they're in the middle of a hallway in freaking Batman's house and anyone could walk past any minute and this could be so embarrassing and why can't she find it in her to care about any of that right now?

Fingers brush gently against her knuckles, and it's only then that she notices not only how tight they were closed, but also how they were somehow gripping almost viciously at Jason's shirt. Oh Hera.

Her fist unclenches immediately, as if she had been holding something hot, yet as she brings her hand to cradle it at her chest she's well aware that she is the one burning in embarrassment. Even without any way to see herself, Cassie just knows that her whole face is crimson red, and her heart is again beating furiously, drumming deafeningly in her ears (or had it never actually stopped?) Her breath also feels a bit ragged, but shamefully enough she can't exactly tell from what that comes.

"S-sorry, I..." She closes her eyes for a second, swallowing and taking a deep breath to kind of put herself together because, honestly, she doubts she's helping her case and making a good impression right now.

But surprising her yet again, Jason does not make fun of her obvious eagerness, nor does he push her away. Instead, he gently looks for her restrained hand and just takes it, holding it for barely a second before softly lace their fingers together. It does not help her sudden inability to think clearly, let alone talk. Things don't necessarily improve when he presses that hand against the wall - some of her thoughts do seem to return, but not exactly the ones she could voice in some random hallway.

"So, what's your alibi? How much time you have?"

"Uh... Ice cubes," she replies after a second, closing her eyes to try and clear her head a bit - those of the Red Hood were not to be underestimated. Thugs really don't know how lucky they are not to have to see them each night. Or maybe she is the lucky one, despite her obvious helplessness? "Tim said half an hour. Before they send the search party." He snorts.

"That little shit." Cassie blinks a couple of times, brow furrowed ever so slightly in confusion - how was that a problem? Isn't half an hour plenty of time? What are they doing anyways?

Jason looks back at her, a slightly mischievous smile on his face and it's only then that she realizes she said that last bit out loud and Hera when will she be able to stop blushing and embarrassing herself?

"Well, it's a lot less fun if I tell you," he says, leaning over to, in her humble opinion, very seductively brush the tip of his nose along her neck. For a second, she's actually worried her knees will buckle. "Come with me?" And of course, what's she gonna do but nod, compliant and utterly freaking weak.

Shameful.

To say that she knows or registers where he's taking her or the halls and rooms they pass would be a big fat lie because, to be fair, there's very little that she can think of when Jason holds her hand, or when he pulls her close against him in a turn. Which, yes, it's silly and there's no way in hell she's ever confessing to anyone how much of a teen she felt like doing this. But she does. And she chuckles, because at least to herself she can admit how much she likes this guy. And that's a lot.

"Nice to see you're in a good mood," he mentions, coming to a slow stop in front of a set of wide wooden doors. The demigoddess manages to get a good hold of herself to offer a small shrug, her hand gently tugging at his (despite her being the one to step closer.)

"How could I not? Good things are happening." His smile, though it looks much like his usual cocky smirk, has a certain softness to it this time, she thinks, and it makes warmth bloom on her chest. Hera, she really wants to kiss him.

But before she can even try to do anything, he turns to open one of the doors and silently guide her into probably one of the most magnificent rooms she's ever seen - the library.

"And this is just getting started, Goldie."

Jason had definitely told her about this particular room at the Manor, even with a bit more detail than Tim ever had - it was just plain easy to tell who spent the most time here. Neither of them had been shy in commenting the dimensions of the place or the overall poshness of it, yet whatever mental image she'd previously held of it did not do it justice.

The place was just massive - several tall wooden bookshelves were meticulously placed in the space, all of them filled to the brim with books of every size and dimension, with different spines showing a wide array of colors and materials. There was a reading section, properly equipped with tables, lamps, notebooks and what looked like very sturdy, very comfortable chairs, as well as a... Cozier section, furnished with a couple of armchairs, a love seat, some fluffy-looking pillows and an enormous beanbag with a mess of blankets on it. Cassie knew immediately whose spot that was.

"Make yourself comfortable," Jason says behind her, hand ghosting over her lower back. "I'll go pick up what I wanna show you." And with that she's left standing in front of the furniture, willpower focused on not turning around to see where the guy was going.

Her feet move cautiously towards the love seat, floor barely creaking below her steps. The cushions are just as silent and about the softest, mushiest she's ever sat on. In fact, right away Cassie all but sinks into it, finding it softer and far more comfortable than any mattress she's ever slept on. Out of habit more than anything else, she grabs one of the smaller pillows and puts it on her lap, fingers gently playing with the nice, velvet fabric; it takes her a double take to notice she's drawing hearts. Weak.

"I see you've wisely avoided Timmy's favourite seat." She turns around after a little jump, chuckle easily escaping her lips.

"Well, I've heard it's no good to disrupt a bird's nest." They both lean against the back of the couch - Jason resting his forearms on it, a small smile showing; he gives her chin a quick yet gentle touch.

"Smart girl."

Cassie almost expected him to jump over the back of the love seat to sit on it - it was the kind of thing she was used to, after all, with Kon and Bart. However, he calmly walks around it and takes his place next to her like a civilized person. It's not something she should find herself swooning over, really, but alas, here she is. At least she does manage to not snuggle up against him despite her first instinct which, hey, see? Not desperate.

She gives him a smile, wide and warm, yet slightly timid. He returns it, and though there is no shyness in his, there's again that hint of softness in it, a tiny purse of lips as if he were about to say something, as if he wanted to let some words out. But instead, she finds that they come from his eyes, that it's his gaze that speaks volumes, except she's not versed well enough to understand it. Her head tilts, just barely.

"What?" It's a whisper, gentle so as not to disturb the atmosphere, not to break the spell that's set in the room between them. Yet, it seems that's loud enough to snap him out of his daydream, and he shakes his head making that lovely white streak of hair dangle for a second; she glances at it.

"Nothing. - got something for you," he adds quickly, straightening up a little. She mirrors him, intrigued, yet finding it hard to look anywhere away from his eyes, which is why it isn't until he looks down that she follows his gaze and sees what he's handing her; she gasps, quietly.

In his hands, there is a breathtaking book. Its cover is a rich, dark blue embellished with small, beautiful stars of what seems like actual gold blooming from the spine all across to the other side. In the middle, the bottom half of what she can only imagine is a gorgeous woman wrapped in a chiton interrupts the starry scene. There are silver letters spelling the title over it, and she doesn't even notice her fingers are tracing them until she spots them. A bit embarrassed, she retracts, but Jason presses the book swiftly in her direction.

"I know you're really into history," he starts, and maybe if she weren't so enraptured by the volume now in her hands, she'd notice he isn't exactly looking at her. Not like before. "And myths. And that Greek makes up for... A big part of you." They both chuckle, and Cassie lets her index move along the lines of the garment in the cover. "So - women of ancient Greece, their forgotten stories, their relevance..." He trails off and she looks up, a wide grin on her lips.

"This sounds... Amazing. I had never heard of this book. I'm- wow. Wow, this..." Eloquent as always, huh?

"You should have it. Read it." The guy gives the cover a small tap, and she giggles. Ridiculous. "I think you're gonna like it."

"Like it? Jay, I already adore it, I--" she shakes her head, hands carefully caressing the spine of the volume. "It sounds so good, like... They just literally found everything I like and compiled it all together!" A laugh escapes her mouth, and she misses the way his lips twitch, his head tilt. "I'm gonna start it right away and... Hera, I mean, this goes without saying but I'm gonna take extremely good care of it, okay, nothing will happen to it," she says, solemnly, hugging the copy tight. "And I'm sorry, I'll just right off apologize in advance because I'm sure I'm going to ramble about this to you so much and I genuinely can't wait to--" but the words, the idea dies on lips that aren't even her own. They're thinner and a bit more chapped and hot.

It's kind of a paradox, how Jason kisses. It's urgent yet slow, deliberate but careless, in a way. It's rough and exciting, but at the same time gentle and comfortable. It's unique, just like the man himself is, and soon enough Cassie is perfectly lost in feelings and sensations, her previous speech forgotten in favor of basking in touches, grips and caresses. She can feel his fingers tangling on the mess of curls at her nape, just as her hand takes a fistful of his shirt to pull him closer again and... Wasn't she holding a book just now?

But the thought is wiped away when Jason's fingertips dig into the flesh of her waist, and his lips suck a delightful trail along her jaw. If she didn't know any better, she'd find something almost territorial in the gesture. But she's too busy focusing on keeping herself quiet to dwell on the idea too much, and her head still cocks to the side either way, baring her neck even if his mouth chooses to go a bit further up. A shiver travels down her spine as his breath tickles her earlobe.

"You look really pretty when you're excited, you knew that?" In normal circumstances, she probably would've blushed. Now, however, a hum is the only form of acknowledgement she provides, hands tugging him closer with just a bit of super strength. Not that he resists too much, really.

Their lips clash together once again and it feels good, and she really tries hard not to vocalize that in any way because that would sound a bit desperate, right? And yeah, like - okay, she is kinda wishing he'll kiss her deeper, especially when both his hands press against the low of her back. But it's not like she can just go ahead and say it. She gently parts her lips instead, reaching out to cup his cheek, his neck, kinda wishing he'd get her hint. And Hera, he does.

His grip tightens a bit, just enough for her back to naturally arch towards him and elicit the faintest sigh from her lips when she feels his broad chest against herself. She doesn't consider this to be too bad of a thing, if the speeding up of their kiss is anything to go by.

She does however feel his hands splaying out further up her back but... More towards its sides? And there's now a sudden loss where the warmth of his body used to be just now, and a part of Cassie wants to protest at this new development, but then there's more pressure against his mouth and it's nice, but... How is that even happening? And her brow goes ahead and furrows a little in confusion, until there's a brush of velvet against her arm and oh, she's leaning back. She's leaning back and he's right on her and Hera she should not, they should not be doing this in the Wayne's library.

Which is actually a valid thought, and something the young heroine could try and voice out, but the rational side of her brain is barely operative at best by the time her back lands against the cushions, and it just shuts down completely when Jason's lips start moving towards her throat. Guy's too good of a kisser, to the point of unfairness, really, and she wants to kind of tease him about it, playfully try and banter about him having too much power, but totally unexpectedly (though in retrospective maybe she should have expected it) he manages to find that sweet spot below her ear where jaw and neck converge and the only sound she manages is a breathless gasp.

There's a fraction of a second in which everything is quiet, as if paused, and Cassie can hear her accelerated heart hitting her rib cage arrhythmically as she fruitlessly tries and processes what just happened, tries to keep still and clear the sudden fog in her head. But then there's a gentle, tentative suck on that very same spot and there's just heat and her fingers dig against Jason's neck all but imploring him to repeat the action and suddenly it's like time has been resumed to its normal speed.

Her head tilts to the side to give his mouth free reign while one of her hands tangles in his dark locks as a means to provide just the smallest directions that, fairly speaking, he doesn't even need because he's easily turning her into goo by himself just fine. So her other hand moves to grab his shoulder, to caress his back and keep him grounded against her while her leg unconsciously moves to try wrap around one of his and they really shouldn't be doing this in the Wayne's library.

And maybe some deity from above seems to agree with that annoying part of Cassie's consciousness, for before she miserably fails to bite back a whimper, there's a loud buzzing sound. By her ear, she could've sworn Jason lets out something akin a growl and it should've not set her stomach on fire.

"Yours or mine?" He asks a bit husky and that really isn't much better. She stares at him half a second, trying to remember how does one even talk.

"Neither," is what she ends up managing to breath out, immediately cupping his face and bringing him in for a kiss. He doesn't actually protest.

She ends up finding out that sucking onto Jason's upper lip makes his grip on her tighten in that deliciously nice way that, she muses, could only feel better were his fingers directly against her skin instead of over annoying fabric, but she forces herself not to dwell too much on the thought, for it is definitely not the best moment to do so. Though being fair, it's not like she can focus on something even remotely rational - right now, the only thing she can feel is Jason Todd and you know what? She actually does not mind one bit. Not when she can feel the whole of him envelop her, when he can so easily raise goosebumps and warmth in her like it's no big deal, when he somehow knows exactly which patch of skin to graze his teeth against, when he doesn't manage to fully hold in the groans that she--

Buzz.

She knows it's hers by the way it annoyingly drills at her side, and she doubts there has been any other time in which she's been so tempted to just throw her phone across the city. In fact, she kinda even considers it right before the weight previously pinning her down lifts. It feels disappointing.

"Go ahead," Jason mumbles, and she should actually give him credit for even mustering a smile, no matter how little.

"I'm sorry, I..." She shakes her head as she sits up, picking up the device in the process. Though she can't quite bring herself to look at him in the eye just yet, she does find some comfort in him not moving away and staying sat right beside her still.

Tim's name is the one flashing on her screen, for the first time tonight, and she can't repress her annoyed huff. Better be something important.

» if you're done sucking my brother's face, kon's asking about u

» ABORT » ABORT » HE'S MENTIONED JAY TOO CAREFULLY

Oh, come on.

She's about to hit the reply button when another text buzzes through.

» get back here unless you want to deal with him there

She really wants to shove the stupid thing away. And maybe punch Conner. Actually scratch that maybe, she does - how come she doesn't have to worry about her mother throwing a fit but she has to deal with him? How's that fair, after everything!?

Gentle fingers bring her back to reality, her shoulders slumping as she leans into the touch almost automatically.

"Want me to walk you back?" She sighs, scrunching her nose a little.

"I don't wanna further... Ruin your night with a stupid argument." His snort actually makes her smile, even if weakly.

"As if Superkid had that power." But his expression softens, and he brushes a rebel curl behind her ear. "Come on, I know a shortcut to get to Timbo's room."

And, just as expected, Jason does not lie and she makes it to the family wing basically in record time. Which, in her opinion, is already reason enough to spend a few extra minutes with the guy; most importantly to voice out the thoughts that were nagging on the back of her mind as they walked through the halls.

"Hope this wasn't... Too bad of an interruption of your night." Her tone is shy but sincere, and the amusement on Jason's expression is far too gentle to bother her.

"Goldie, no offense, but if I hadn't wanted you to find me, you wouldn't have." And that... Makes a lot of sense for a bat, now that she thinks about it. But it also means that... "I'm glad you swung by to say hi." Her cheeks redden.

"Well. It was my pleasure." Way too literally, at that. Something that he seems to pick up on, for he smirks.

"Oh, mine as well." And though the kiss that punctuates the statement is nothing less than amazing, Cassie can't help but feel is a bit too short and just a further reason why making the last couple of turns up to Tim's bedroom seem harder.

But she manages, and when she opens the door she can immediately see Robin's posture drop in relief. Ridiculous.

"We were about to send a search party for you." Conner is the first to speak, his blue eyes dancing between her and the screen in front, where they're still playing Mario Kart. She pretends to believe his joking tone.

"It's a big house. I took a wrong turn once."

"Oh, bad choices, who'd have thought?" That part is muttered, but even without superhearing Cassie manages to catch it. She frowns, but his friend is conveniently not looking at her. Coward. "Where's your glass?"

"Why would I want to litter Tim's room, more than it already is?" The aforementioned boy protests, though it could've also been at Bart sabotaging his race. "Just drank my water, had my ice cubes, left the glass there and came back."

Her tone is sharper, an attempt to just cut the stupid conversation there because, honestly, she's not in the mood for this. She even starts walking towards the bed with every intention of just lying there until morning when she sees, in the corner of her eye, the kryptionian's gaze falling to the book she's carefully carrying on one hand. Shit, right!

"Oh, by the way Tim," she starts, doing her best to sound nonchalant. "Found the library on my way, hope you don't mind I went ahead and got that book you mentioned the other day." Conner frowns, dubious as he glances back at his best friend, possibly checking his reaction. Not that this is in any way a problem, for he doesn't even look away from the screen as he shrugs.

"As long as you didn't touch my stuff." Cassie allows herself to sigh in relief, internally. On the outside, though, she rolls her eyes, walking to Superboy's side.

"No, bird boy, I didn't touch your nest. But you need better organization skills."

"I have a perfectly good system going on, thank y-YOU SON OF A BITCH!"

Bart full on laughs out loud as he wins first place, shoving a handful of sweet popcorn into his mouth. Or, well, what's left of a handful after being hit by a pillow-projectile from Tim. This exchange seems to be reassuring enough for Conner, whose shoulders relax, tension leaving his face too. And though Cassie is still annoyed at his attitude and his childish ways, she can't help but smile a little and poke one of his cheeks.

"Stop being so grumpy," she jokes in a whisper, and it even seems to amuse the guy! Though she should've seen something was coming when there was no grin on his lips but a smile instead.

She didn't, though, and so she ends up yelping when he picks her up, a mix of ttk and super strength making sure she had no way to escape before he sat on the bed again, this time with Wonder Girl on his crossed legs. Before she can emit any sound of protest, the book is gone from her hands and a controller is pressed onto them instead, a new game loading on the screen.

"You're good in Rainbow Road, right?" His arms wrap loosely around her waist, his chin resting on her left shoulder.

"Kinda decent, yeah, but--"

"Kick Bart's ass for me? I've been humiliated one too many times." She snorts.

"You do know no one beats Bart, right?" In cue, the youngest member of their group lets out his take at a villainous laugh. On her ear, Conner groans.

"Fine, Tim then. Please?"

Truth is, Cassie doesn't really want to play, she wasn't thinking of it. Her plan was to lie in bed, get started on the book, and possibly go back to texting Jason with updates on it if he was still in the mood to talk to her. But seeing as there was no easy way to get out of there (and quite literally at that,) she gives up and lets out a big, exaggerated sigh.

"Alright, fine. But if I win you owe me." The only answer she gets is a peck on her cheek before the weight of Conner's head sets back on her shoulder, but it seems enough to alleviate the previously building tension and allow them to resume what this was suppose to be from the start - just a chill night in.

Besides, later, when she's back in her own room and a folded piece of paper falls down from the tenth chapter in the book, Cassie's definitely gonna be glad she didn't risk the note getting lost somewhere in Tim's bedroom. Worse, somewhere near Kon.

(This, however, did not cancel out the annoyance she felt when his friend grunted that *she needs a new perfume* after taking a breath near her neck.)

#jason todd #cassie sandsmark #red hood #wonder girl #jaycassie #it's rarepair hours again !!#kon is an overprotective friend #and he isn't jay's biggest fan rn #(but he'll come around. eventually)#tim is weirded out but reluctantly okay #bart is just focused on winning mario kart #jaycassie is a nerd couple-to-be #and they recommend each other books

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yeats-infection · 4 years

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@sqvalors tagged me in a lil writing meme... if you’d like to participate please do and tag me!

ao3 name: fluorescentgrey but i also post some things as drglass (dr. glass is the second song on the fluorescent grey EP by deerhunter, so if i make another pseud it will be likenew, then washoff, etc.)

fandoms: about two thirds of my fics are harry potter or star wars but there are a lot of random little goodies. currently i have shifted into the terror (2018) mode.

number of fics: 59 right now... i will throw a party when i get to 69...

fic i spent the most time on: this is funny because some of these technically took me like six months or more of working on them extremely intermittently... namely, bone machine. the series in the garden has taken me the most time generally... and in that, minuet did take me several months of working really hard while i had a schedule / commute that was not conducive to having a creative practice...

fic i spent the least amount of time on: hilariously, literally my most popular fic by ninety miles, the witcher PWP that i wrote out of spite in two or three hours.

longest fic: the source codes series... particularly heelstone which is 102k. i wrote these two stories in a single summer like a crazy person and i hate talking about them because i find them WAY too gooey. honestly, that’s why they are so long. it’s all the gooeyness!!!!!!

shortest fic: yes, the answer is the witcher porn again (this silly thing is going to be the answer for many other questions in this little meme but i’m just going to stop talking about it while i’m ahead). the west end is just about 50 words longer and is much better and is a much better and more interesting story.

most hits: we’re just going to pretend it’s sex and dying in high society, which has the second most hits. this is certainly due to the fact that @wolfstarwarehouse hypes this story a lot for which i am endlessly grateful!

most kudos: recovery position has the second most kudos so let’s go with that one! i have been very touched by the response to this story, though i do personally like the sequel beachcoma a little more... i understand why not everyone wants to read it because it is a little more bittersweet. but it also comes from my soul.

most comment threads: the two stories in the source codes series are leading here, because i only posted two chapters at a time so that i would get maximal validation, lol.

most bookmarks: in order to talk about a story i haven’t talked about yet, the rosary has the fourth-most. i think this fic is truly my r/s swan song... i said everything i wanted to say and did everything i wanted to do. it’s a really good mystery/noir story that i didn’t think i could pull off until i did! and i love the OCs in it who have sort of manifested these secret headcanons for me that i may expostulate upon someday. thank you to @piovascosimo for the inspiration to write it.

total word count: 1,000,478. lol!

favorite fic i wrote: cannot possibly choose but probably the top five in order of date posted are: desperado, a handful of dust, doom town, beachcoma, jump into the fire

fic i’d rewrite / expand on: i already said all of source codes because it’s way too gooey, i also could make hard time killing floor blues a lot tighter, and a memoir of the flesh deserves a way better ending because i was rushing to make the yuletide deadline...

share a bit of a WIP: i was trying for a while to write a band of brothers AU where they are vietnam vets who start growing cannabis... based on the steve earle song “copperhead road.” this could have been SO good but the plot was too huge and unwieldy so i gave up. my roommate is obsessed with this idea and keeps asking me how it’s going so i may yet finish. but there’s a bit below the cut.

The knock at the door in the night was a sharp shock, bright as lightning, that sent them both back to Khe Sanh and before. Nix ducked. Dick went behind the doorframe. They kept low into the kitchen, where Nix took his old officer’s pistol out from where he kept it hidden behind the fridge. Then they went to the door, keeping to the edges of the hallways.

On the porch was Liebgott. He could have made his own way in likely right onto the couch without either of them noticing, so it was something that he had knocked on the goddamn door. It was particularly something given that none of the boys from Easy should have known about the grow operation, or even about Dick’s farm, being as Dick’s address on file at the V.A. was a post office box in town and Nix’s was still in Jersey. These considerations were nil to somebody who had spent the better part of five years in the bush of Vietnam. He took a last draw from his cigarette and put it out against the rubber sole of his boot, then he put the butt in his pocket. As far as Nix knew, he hadn’t said a word since January 1970.

“Joe,” said Dick diplomatically. He put his hand out and Liebgott took it. Then he took Nix’s. He had handsome dark eyes, but they were full of a wall. You could tell he saw you, but it was like nothing followed the necessary channels to the brain to spur emotional response. It had been like this even while he was still talking, and after a while you got used to it.

“You comin' in,” said Nix, knowing he probably would even if he wasn’t invited.

Inside, they all three sat at the kitchen table in silence nobody was about to break. Finally Dick got up and went to the drawer where they kept the rollies and their share of the product. He passed a sheaf of papers and a film canister full of bud to Liebgott across the table. Nix understood as well as Dick apparently did that there would be no getting anything over on this kid, who had eyes in the back and sides of his head. He’d probably had a nice tour of the property before coming inside. “You hungry, son,” Dick said.

Liebgott shook his head. He extracted one of the buds from the canister and inspected it. They did look mighty good if Nix said so himself. They looked artful in Liebgott’s hand. There were black scabs across his knuckles and a dark rime of filth under those fingernails which still existed. He seemed satisfied enough with what he saw to take a paper out of the sheaf and start shredding the flower into it.

“Captain Nixon calls it Easy Diesel,” said Dick, like he was trying to pretend it wasn’t the funniest thing in the world.

Liebgott looked up and a smile flashed across his face like the savage golden light of a flare falling over the far hills. His smile was sort of brutal, like the edge of a knife in a barfight, or like a seething animal. Luckily it went away as quickly as it had come. He rolled the joint with a quick grace and lit the business end with his old silver Zippo Nixon hadn’t seen since the war. There was a skull engraved on one side and on the other it read IF YOU ARE RECOVERING MY BODY, FUCK YOU.

“I don’t know how you found us, Joe,” Dick said thoughtfully. “You don’t have to… tell us. But we ain’t exactly keen to have just anybody here.” He paused and looked quickly to Nix, who tried to make it abundantly clear by means of eyebrows that he wasn’t sure they ought to go down this road, wherever it was leading. Dick ignored him. Liebgott was watching them, fully understanding their attempted clandestine exchange. “We ain’t exactly keen to have the DEA here,” Dick said at last.

The cherry at the end of the joint atomized with a crackling hiss. Liebgott looked between Dick and Nix with extreme seriousness sullied only by his exhaling a dignified white cloud out his nose. Then he nodded, once, curtly, demonstrating he understood his orders as they had been relayed.

Nix flashed Dick what he thought was a what have you done type look. But Dick looked totally unbothered. He should have gone into this business years ago for how violently unflappable he was. He said to Liebgott, “I’ll get some blankets and you can make up the couch.”

Liebgott shook his head to say no need. He got up, careful not to scrape the chair against the floor, shook each of their hands again, and in less than a minute’s time he was back out the door with nothing more than what he’d come in with except the joint.

Nix and Dick, on the porch, listening to the crickets, watched him disappear into the darkness.

“Are we hallucinating,” said Nix eventually.

“I sure as hell hope not,” Dick replied. “We’ve got to ship all that product or we’ll starve.”

In the morning Nix was in the field, inspecting the plants. Liebgott was standing there at his quarter for god knew how long before he cleared his throat and Nix jumped about six feet in the air. There was a smirk shifting across Liebgott’s face that he would have been better about hiding when Nix had been his commanding officer. He looked like he hadn't slept. Back over there he had looked like that a lot, but it had been different, because of all the uppers they were taking. He cocked his head back over toward the long driveway and then he was off across the dew-wet grass which had already soaked through the hems of his canvas pants and his destroyed shoes.

Nix followed, like a duckling behind a hen. Liebgott still walked as though there were eyes in all sides of his head quickly processing information as he moved. Nix doubted you ever lost that kind of skill, even if in the real world it made you look like a mental patient. He caught up so they could walk side by side through the dew-wet grass. “What did you think,” he asked Liebgott.

Liebgott passed Nix the universal sign of furrowed brow that meant please clarify.

Nix gestured with pinched fingers to his own mouth as though Liebgott were also deaf. “The grass.”

He shaped his hand into an a-ok sign.

“You get any sleep?”

He nodded an infinitesimal nod, like the answer was a secret just for Nix to know.

“Well if you think it could be better just tell me how.”

Nix had had a high school friend whose sister was deaf from scarlet fever and whom he had watched on occasion communicate with her by means of sign language. Early on, back over there, he had sent off to command for a book, but by the time it came he understood it wasn’t that Liebgott couldn’t speak, he just didn’t want to. It was something like how people’s hair supposedly turned white if they witnessed some evil thing, or how people became ascetics in the name of god. If you were really fucked up on drugs or fear or otherwise, or if the natural magical thinking from childhood hadn’t been fully beaten out of you, you might have seen it as the sacrifice he had given to the forest for letting him out without a scratch so many goddamn times. It had been a bit of a trial to explain this to Spiers, who was practical almost to a fault, sometimes.

Liebgott showed another a-ok sign. Then he did a thumbs up which Nix knew meant it was good.

All in all it was smart. If he was still talking, Nix might have asked him, what have you been up to? You been sleeping on the street? You been to the V.A.? What did they tell you? And the answer would’ve been nothing good. Instead they just walked in the cool grass together in the sunshine and the morning was beautiful, and the air was sweet. It was all lovely until Liebgott had to physically stop him, laughing, somehow silently but also hysterically, from stepping right onto the razor-thin tripwire stretched invisibly across the dark gravel.

In the kitchen, Dick was doing the numbers. He took his glasses off when Nix came in and put the coffee on. “He learned a thing or two from Charlie,” Nix said, leaning against the counters.

“Who, Joe?”

“Our driveway is thoroughly ratfucked.”

“Hmm,” said Dick. He put the glasses back on and turned back to the accounting book. He was going to do this whole thing as above board as was humanly possible. The vivid daylight came through the window and struck the lens of his unstylish Ray-Bans and threw a kind of prism of color upon the white paper and the chicken-scratch sums. Nix felt like maybe this was something you would paint if you had the necessary implements and artistic ability. “Maybe we should see if we can get any more help.”

He was mildly ashamed to say it, but the doc had always kind of creeped Nix out. He imagined a hypothetical conversation with Dick, who he knew loved the kid, almost like a son: Listen, don’t get me wrong, he’s a good kid, I owe him my life, yadda yadda. But either he’s dropped the brown acid one too many times or the voodoo exorcism went FUBAR.

The doc had arrived on the farm on the heels of Sunshine and Rainbows, aka Mr. Bright Eyed and Bushy Tailed, aka one Edward ��Babe” Heffron. Nix had written Babe in South Philly, being as he was a connoisseur of bud and once upon a time had been famed among their company for smoking anything anyone put in his hand, often to his own detriment. The operation was getting big enough that Nix needed another pair of hands, other than Liebgott, of course, who was still fortifying the long driveway whilst giving away his cover by playing Led Zeppelin IV as loudly as was possible. It was a tough calculation, because Babe was a genius of pot, but he couldn’t keep a damn secret, and lo and behold he had dragged along with him a dark shadow in the human form of Eugene Roe. They came up the driveway in a big old Ford pickup that rattled its rust off in the potholes. Liebgott had dismantled the traps specially for their arrival when they had called from Williamsport to say they were an hour out.

“I figured we could use a medical professional to lend some credibility to the operation,” said Babe thoughtfully, sparking a joint on the porch over sweating jam jars of iced tea.

Roe snorted or something but it wasn’t really a normal person’s self-effacing laugh. Winters clapped his back. Nixon knew Roe had dropped out of medical school after two years but there was no need to say anything. Everyone knew that. Now he was working construction and Babe claimed to be working as a mechanic in a garage, but this seemed suspect given the state of the car they had driven up in.

“Well we sure as hell are glad you boys are here,” said Dick magnanimously.

Babe exhaled an opaque cloud that rivaled Nix’s own father’s ability with a stogie. “Can we see the bush?”

They went out all together to the field and ducked between the rows of corn. Babe knelt in the soil. It was damp with dew and quiet in here. It would have been almost like over there except it smelled good. “What’s the cross,” Babe said, inspecting the plants.

“It’s an indica blend…”

“Well, I can tell that,” he said.

“So you’re an expert on the plant now too?”

“I’ve just smoked an awful lot of joints in my life, Captain Nixon.”

Roe snorted again. When they all looked to him he said, “You said in the letter there was some kind of altruistic reason for all this.”

“It’s medicine, Gene,” Babe said gently, but also like they had had this conversation thirty thousand times. Nix filed away for later the intimation that Roe had read the letter he’d sent Babe at home in South Philadelphia.

“I guess you don’t remember the psychic break you had at the Do Lung Bridge.”

Babe waved this remark off, even though Nix remembered it too. It threw a chill down his back, like a water balloon had hit him at the base of his neck. “That was laced,” Babe said.

“With what!”

“I don’t know! Something bad!” Babe turned to Dick and Nix. “Gene’s teetotal,” he said, like this was a big old point of contention.

So that counted out the bad acid. Maybe he was just like this. Maybe he had had those big sad bug eyes as a child or an infant or a fetus in the womb. “Good on you, Doc,” Nix said.

“I ain’t trying it,” Roe said, folding his arms over his narrow chest, “no matter what it does.”

The doc was a tough cookie. Babe had claimed, over there, about as high as the Byrds song, that the doc came from a long line of the kind of folks described in Dr. John’s “Gris-Gris Gumbo Ya Ya” and that, as such, he could heal wounds with his mind. When it didn’t work, as on the night when Jackson died, or the night when Hoobler died, or in the forest when Muck and Penkala died, or the night when Liebgott stopped speaking, he went to sit for a while on the edge of camp until Dick went over and made him eat something. Nix watched them in a state of confused envy, and then he went to write the letters to the families, so that Dick wouldn’t have to.

At dusk, after they ate a light dinner of corn on the cob and rice and beans, he took the boys up into the hayloft with an armful of blankets. “Sorry this is the best we got,” he said. He had said that about a hundred god damn times since they got here.

Roe looked like he wanted to say, you’ve got to stop apologizing for everything. Instead he said, “Where does Lieb sleep.”

Babe perked up. “Joe’s here?”

“You didn’t see him in the driveway?”

Nix sighed. “He’s gonna want to know what he did wrong that you saw him,” he said.

“Does he still — ”

Nix shook his head. “Not a peep.”

In a couple days time, he couldn’t take it anymore, and he was hot and tired and stoned, up to his elbows in earth in the field, showing Babe how to replant the hatchlings he’d grown from seed. “You guys room together or what?”

“Me and Gene?” Babe’s eyes were red in the corners from smoking and from the sun. “What about you and Dick?”

Dick, who had the radio on inside turned up as loud as it would go, so that they would hear it in the field, playing Crosby Stills and Nash doing “Suite: Judy Blue Eyes.” “What about me and Dick?” said Nix.

Babe was a smart kid. He realized this was going nowhere. With muddy hands he popped one of the seedlings out of its little pot and cradled it into the ground. “Well, I think he thinks he’s looking after me, but in actuality, I am looking after him.”

#my fic #asks

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tinycaprisun · 4 years

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✨twenty questions✨

i was tagged by @freshlysqueezedmox !!! thanks summer i always get good and in my feelings when someone’s tags me in things 🧡

—

1. what do you prefer to be called name-wise?

uh, liz is cool but really u can call me anything, like i’ll respond to bastard if u yell it loud enough

2. when is your birthday?

february 29th & yes i am not joking i was born on leap year and my day of birth only exists once every 4 years

3. where do you live?

in super mega ultra hell. is that meme already dead bc idk i like the verbiage of it lmao- no but for real i live in missouri, and there isn’t much to do other than stare at a giant hunk of curved metal and eat barbecue that the locals tell u is the best thing since sliced bread & maybe it is i just don’t like it myself ahaha

4. three (3) things you are doing right now?

aside from answering this? well listening to 9 to 5 by dolly parton bc yeehaw, petting my cat who’s curled up on my foot, and slowly waiting for the day to end

5. four (4) fandoms that have peaked your interest?

oh god there r too many to count but as of rn? probs wrestling, buzzfeed unsolved, rupaul’s drag race & just drag in general, and achievement hunter

6. how has the pandemic been treating you?

um... if you would like the honest answer, not great... i lost my job in august so i haven’t been employed for a few months now. my dad hasn’t been making the money he used to so i’ve started helping paying the bills w/ the funds i had saved for going back to college from when i did have that job. sort of become a recluse again, where i almost never leave the house outside of small trips to the store or the literal once in a blue moon going and social distantly see a friend. it’s basically the life i lived in early 2019 while i’m very lonely all the time while trying to solve the problems of my family as the same time? whatever who cares i’m moving on

7. a song you can’t stop listening to right now?

oddly enough, ‘positions’ by ariana grande! i don’t listen to her all that often but for some reason this song really stuck to me! i especially like the versions of it where it’s slowed down and had reverb!

8. recommend a movie?

this might be out of left field, but ‘motocrossed’! it’s one of those disney channel original movies that i grew up with and it’s still pretty good to this day! the movie’s about (and this is in the words of the legendary nakeyjakey) girls pretending to be boys so they can ride dirt bikes

9. how old are you?

20!

10. school, university, occupation, other?

as i said before i am now unemployed. and before that i did try to go to university once but failed out of all my classes due to never going to them because i couldn’t force myself to get out of bed. i want to go back to school so fucking bad for secondary education physics as a practical career. but recently i’ve been teasing the idea of becoming a ring announcer because my voice was build to shout really loud, but who knows, u know?

11. do you prefer heat or cold?

cold 100% bc i cannot function in environments above 75° (fahrenheit). like it can be -7° outside and i’ll be pleased as punch but as soon as it gets up there in temp? i melt like a popsicle

12. name one fact others may not know about you.

i used to be a gymnast! did all the flipping and the balance beam stuff & maybe thinking abt doing it again. idk i just want to do a backflip and have cool muscles

13. are you shy?

it kinda depends? i can be the most loud and unabashed son of a bitch if i want to, but sometimes i do get into my own head and go silent and nervous.

14. preferred pronouns

she/her and they/them! and they r not “preferred”, they r my pronouns! :D

15. biggest pet peeve?

okay this isn’t as profound or interesting as summer’s was, but people who scrape their forks against their teeth! it is one the worst sounds known to man and it hurts my already messed up ears

16. what is your favorite “dere” type?

tsundere? i think? sure, i’ll go with that

17. rate your life from 1-10, 1 being crappy, 10 being the best it could be.

5, and this calvin and hobbes comic explains why

18. what is your main blog?

this. she’s been through a lot and i feel sorry for her honestly

19. list your side blogs and what they’re used for.

i used to have separate blogs a LONG time ago for art and writing, but as it turns out i’m shit at both so they got deleted and this is all i have now

20. is there something people need to know about you before becoming friends?

if we aren’t counting the fact that i’m an asshole, i would say that i have the worst tendency to delete messages i send after a while. basically my brain goes into panic mode if someone isn’t responding back thinking “ur annoying them, they don’t want to talk to u. u should delete what u sent because u should have never of said anything in the first place! only speak when spoken to!” u know, the usual.

—

certified and honorary cowboys i’m tagging: @orangechuckiet @darbs @yellow----daisy @trent-heel-beretta and anyone else who would like to participate i realize this is over a day old, soz for bothering y’all

#tag games #shut it liz #thank u summer!!!!! this was fun #gave me something to do for a bit and i needed it

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earlgreymon · 4 years

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short update

oh hello there, long time no see! now i’m in gmt+11 damn thanks dst.

tw: mental health?

well... where to start? i think i said that i was having exam. i did. and tbh, i feel like i’m going to fail this subject.

i had an episodes of mental breakdown a few times before i took the exam last weekend (don’t worry, i looked for help immediately) and i tried to consult with the faculty about whether i could have some sort of extension but apparently i couldn’t, so i had to face it nevertheless.

i had three days to do the exam from friday to monday afternoon, where on saturday i was barely moving out of the bed because dysmenorrhea and even though i didn’t sleep for 24 hours again on sunday, i only managed to return 80% of my not-so-great answers.

if i pass this class, it will be because the professor cannot bear to give a bad mark during this covid.

i’m still struggling to find myself. i still watch digimon every sunday just because my counsel said it’ll be great if i have something to wait for every week, but i feel like i’m stuck in a never-ending limbo. i know i should give myself a time, but it’s hard for someone like me who is very impatience.

i still have a paper due next week, so... yeah.

gutted that i am unable to participate in taiora week. i have a draft, but probably i’ll finish it later.

my apologize as i am currently not keeping track on what is happening on my dashboard. i literally open tumblr every morning when i wake up just to clean my notifications but then i will always fall into another sleep lol. please bear with me a little and i hope you’re having a great day! cannot wait to get back into the fandom <3

#munpost #probably delete later #crap my keep reading button isn't functioning

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whumptober · 4 years

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Whumtober 2020 - OBSOLETE PLEASE SEE NEW PINNED POST

**This prompt list is incorrect. Please see the updated event info here.**

We hope you’re as excited as us to watch the Whump Community come together once again for a month of bone-crunching creativity and collaboration!

(All 31 Themes + Prompts, Event Information, and FAQs are posted below the cut!)

No 1. LET'S HANG OUT SOMETIME

Waking Up Restrained | Shackled | Hanging