#I like making myself cry apparently hahahaha | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

imthatchishiyasimp · 4 years

Text

I fucked my way into this mess, and I’ll fuck my way out.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Oh shit” was all I could say, looking at the now crimson red-hoodie.

“You better fix that”.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hi!!! Had this idea and couldn't resist writing about it, also the title helped to develop it hahahaha.

it's not NSFW, but it hints a bit about it at the end, so be careful. Also, TW: death and blood are both mentioned and described.

The previous game night I got my sweatshirt broken, and since then I had been borrowing people’s clothes. I wasn’t able to search for a new decent one and I was planning on scabaging a few stores on my way back to the Beach after this game.

I had managed to steal a few clothes from Kunai and some other people, and they didn’t mind. No one minded but Chishiya, that bastard. His hoodies were so clean and soft, wonders where he took them. So, given that he didn’t want to lend them over, I broke into his room and stole the best one. It was pure white, big and comfy with a front pocket and a hood.

He wasn’t supposed to go out and play tonight, so it would have been fine. He wasn’t even in the car when I got there. But, out of nowhere, he was at the lobby of the game arena I was supposed to clear.

I mean, the mad look he gave me? Dude, I was scared.

We were playing a spades game, an easy one. In total there were eight participants, two of them were new to the games and scared to the bone.

“REGISTRATION HAS CLOSED. THERE ARE A TOTAL OF 8 PARTICIPANTS. THE GAME WILL NOW COMMENCE.”

I looked around and saw a path going up the stairs and into a wide corridor. Two small tables were placed at the bottom of them, one holding the phones left after we all took our own, and the other one with several collars. I had heard of them in other games, but I didn’t have the pleasure of trying them on.

While the phones were informing us of the difficulty of the game, I got closer to Chishiya, step by step, judging if he was mad enough to give me the silent treatment. Apparently not, because he didn’t push me away nor did he go to the other corner of the mini crowd we formed. I tucked my hand into the pocket and balanced on my toes, listening to the rules of the game.

“GAME: TARGET SHOOTING.”

“PLEASE, PUT ON THE COLLARS PLACED ON THE TABLE”.

Reluctantly, we all clasped the collar around our necks. It felt wrong and cold, like the hand of a murderer patiently waiting to squeeze harder and harder until you died. I swallowed hard, rolling my head and trying to get used to the feeling. My eyes drifted to Chishiya’s form and I wasn’t surprised to find him unaltered. His hands were hidden in his pockets, his face covered by the hood, but I caught a glimpse of his eyes.

He looked at me, from head to toes. Would he forgive me because I looked good in his clothes? Probably not, but I could wish.

“RULE: MANAGE TO SHOOT ACCURATELY TO THE TARGET WITH THE CROSSBOWS LEFT IN EACH ROOM”.

“CLEAR CONDITION: PASS THE 10 ROOMS WITH PERFECT AIM. IF YOU FAIL, YOU WILL BE ELIMINATED. IF YOU MAKE ANOTHER PLAYER SHOOT IN YOUR TURN, YOU WILL BE ELIMINATED”.

“TIME LIMIT: 30 MINUTES, EACH ROOM HAS A MAXIMUM OF 3 MINUTES. IF YOU DON’T CLEAR THE ROOM IN THAT TIME, YOU WILL BE ELIMINATED”.

“THE GAME WILL START ONCE YOU OPEN THE DOORS”.

Without a word, we all took the stairs up to the first mark pointing to door number 1. Some guy opened it and we walked inside. It was almost empty, leaving one table with a crossbow and a handful of arrows. At the end of the room there was a kind of dart-board, but the red center was way bigger than usual. Just a few steps from the door there was a mark with two feet, signaling the shooting position.

Our phones chimed with the time starting the countdown. Below the time apparead the face of one of the players, giving him the first turn. A black haired boy took the crossbow with confidence, getting the arrow ready and shooting with efficiency.

“Are you mad at me?” I whispered to Chishiya.

He gave me the eye and grunted. “I clearly remember telling you not to steal my clothes. Are you going deaf?”

I giggled and hid my nose in the hoodie. It smelled like him, one of the very first reasons why I stole it. I love the way he smells of new things, undiscovered fragrances and fresh days. It brought me peace and calm; I felt safe.

“I was cold and couldn’t find anything else. You weren’t supposed to see, I thought you weren’t due yet”.

The first three participants did well, the last one getting too close to the limit but managing anyway. I was next.

Taking an arrow and getting ready for the shooting, I placed myself on the mark and breathed deeply. I didn’t like guns, but I had a good aim when needed. With a clear shot, I gave the crossbow to the next player.

We all passed the room within the time limit and left for the next one. Given the easiness of the first room, a bust of confidence started to grow in each player, so when the target became a pain to shoot, panic bursted in the room.

It was room 4 where the first player died. An old woman that was trembling with fear and exhaustion missed the red circle. She dropped the crossbow and looked at us in fear, grabbing the collar and pulling with force. I walked backwards until I met the opposite wall. Chishiya was next to me, with his eyes locked in the body of the lady going down after the bomb exploded. I couldn’t look at it.

The next player had to move her body to be able to step on the mark, and that was when all of us were aware of the situation. While I knew what the collar meant, some of the participants didn’t.

“I will return it after the game, I promise. Just wait until we finish and I’m able to take something from some mall” I told him walking towards room number 6. No one was talking, so my voice was easy to pick up above the steps of the players. They looked at me from the corner of their eyes, wondering how I was so calm, how I was able to think of something else apart from the game.

Chishiya brought my hood up and placed it on my head, covering my hair with it. “If you don’t bring it back, you will face consequences” And then he walked faster to the next room. I gulped, not wanting to know what would await me if I didn’t. The feeling of his fingers through the strands of my hair still alive on my mind.

Room 8 only held four players. Chishiya and I were with the boy with shooting experience and a girl with short hair. Both of them were young and composed, getting through the game without a word from their lips.

It was getting noticeably difficult. The target was in higher places and getting smaller by the point. A headache was starting to grow and it made me clench my fingers more often, almost making me shoot a moment before I was ready. The pressure of the time was smaller since we were less people, but it meant we took more time to get ready and I was getting nervous.

The four of us made it to room 10. It looked like the last one, extremely difficult with a very small target and too high to comfortably shoot. The boy was called first and he got ready to shoot. His confidence had wavered in the last rooms, same as the rest, but he still made an effort on showing a calm facade.

I was sure he was gonna clear the game. I think all of the players in the room thought so. And I was behind him, waiting for my turn, looking anxiously at the time getting close to the end. But also, we all thought there wasn’t going to happen anything else. No one saw the vents opening and giving a rush of air, making the arrow go a bit to the left and missing the target. It was a soft breeze, but enough to change the course of the arrow.

“No. No, no, no. No! This wasn’t supposed to happen! They didn’t tell! It’s not fair! I was the first one to shoot!” He shouted. He started screaming at us because now we knew about it. He died in the middle of a cry, shaking me from the shoulders. And I just stood there, listening to his cries and too shocked to fight him.

I got all his blood spattered on myself, his dead eyes printed on my mind.

I don’t recall what happened after. I just remember throwing the body of the dead player to one side, taking the crossbow and shooting to the target. I almost missed, having miscalculated the force of the air released by the vents. I think the girl went after me and cleared the game too. We waited until Chishiya shot and stood there, listening to the beeping sound of the phones.

“GAME CLEAR”.

“CONGRATULATIONS”.

Leaving the hotel next to Chishiya was a bit awkward. He was playing with the card in his hands, looking at it with an interesting face. And he wasn’t talking, not even humming. He liked to point out things about the game after he cleared them, about the rules, the players or the place we played in. But he didn’t. We arrived at the nearest car that was going to the Beach and I made a move to get in. I wasn’t in the mood of walking all the way back, but Chishiya stopped me before I could open the door.

“Nope, you are not coming” He told me, pushing me away from the car.

“What? Why?” I asked, frowning my eyebrows. He pointed to my chest and I looked down. “Oh shit” It was so far gone. There was not a single white spot in the hoodie. It was absolutely red. “Oh fuck, oh no, I’m so sorry”. I looked at him, my face showing full remorse, big eyes asking for forgiveness. I tried to reach him, failing when he moved out of my reach.

He just smirked and shook his head. “I will wait until tomorrow night. You better fix that before then”. And he got in the car, leaving me alone in the street, hands still in the air.

“Chishiya you bastard! I didn’t do it on purpose!”

So there I was, going into every shop I could find, searching for an identical hoodie and taking advantage of the trip to pick a few things for myself. It wasn’t a special hoodie or something, but most of them were either the wrong size or too dirty. I took my precious time looking for a perfect one, also taking some more to give as an apology and for me to match. We would see who would try to steal then.

I had miscalculated the time it would take me to walk back to the Beach. The ride to the game arena was a bit longer than usual, but I didn’t think walking would take me that much.

The sun was going down when I reached the Beach. I was famished and thirsty as hell. I was only able to take a fast lunch and I walked a too long distance. I went straight to the kitchens and I gulped down a full bottle of water with some snacks.

After I was satisfied, I stood and took my bags to my room, putting away the clothes I picked and changing into something clean. Taking the ones I chose for Chishiya, I left my room and went to his.

I knocked and waited until I heard footsteps coming to open the door. I fought a smile miting my lip and tried to remain calm. He opened the door just a bit to see who was knocking, opening fully seeing me there.

“Do you like this one?” I said while turning around and opening my arms. “It’s exactly the same one, size and all, and don’t forget the hood and the pocket!” I watched him lean into the door frame and smirk behind his hair. He gave me a look crossing his arms and letting out a breathy laugh.

I remained serious and gave a sorry look. “I mean, if you don’t like it, I have a few more for you to choose. Here, let me try them on so you can see how they look” Taking the sleeves, I pulled my arms out and started to take the hoodie off in the middle of the corridor.

I heard him moving just when I was about to take it off. Suddenly I was being dragged by the arm and thrown into Chishiya’s room.

I laughed out loud, almost tripping because of the strength and the lack of vision due to the hoodie being over my head. His room smelled like he did and I was high on it.

“Do you need to be such a pain for me to do something?” He said with a smug voice, taking the hoodie completely off me. His dark eyes checked me out and I felt so vulnerable under his gaze that I felt chills running through my body.

Could he be any more handsome? The way this eyes held the whole world’s knowledge made me shiver in both fear and awe. The white strands of hair dancing around his face, making him shine even more. His smile, a rare but precious sight.

His touch was warm and delicate. His fingers went through my hair, to my cheekbones and to my neck, going slowly and leaving me breathless.

I took a step forward and grabbed at his clothes, feeling brave for a moment, getting close to his ear to whisper with a soft and heavy voice: “It worked, didn’t it?” Besides, now I know what it takes to bring you down”.

“You’re on”.

#aib #alice in borderland #chishiya #chishiya shuntaro #chishiya x reader #fic #shuntaro chishiya #oneshot

1K notes · View notes

yanderenightmare · 4 years

Note

ooh I wanna see ua bakugo frustrate with his affection over this clueless moron, kinda like shoto, like he gives her like a flower and she's just like wuut .__.

yandere ! BAKUGO KATSUKI

Support me at KO-FI if you feel like it<3

This is so cute, I can’t. Don’t know if this is what you wanted hahahaha, but I have a weak spot for like Luna Lovegood girls, like Alice in Wonderland derpy pigtailed pastel Melanie Martinez lookin’ cupcakes. And made this still in the UA au... hope that’s ok!

goodiebag WARNINGS: slight yandere, slight dubcon theme, profanity, anxiety, hallucinations, stalking

SCARY LOVE

He felt like such a stalker, like a wolf hiding in the grass, just a disgusting waste of a human being standing and ogling her from the safe distance, far enough away that she wouldn’t care to look up, but just close enough to see the color in her eyes from where she was planted in the shade under the campus willow-tree.

Why was she so fucking cute?

Her locks knotted up into two big messy buns, big splendid pastel bows tying them both into place, one blue, the other pink, matching puffy scrunchies decorating both her wrists. Cute. Small wisps of light flowing hair falling in front of her face, tickling her nose, making it scrunch like a how bunny would every now and again. Cute. White ruffled socks reaching halfway up her leg. Cute. Her knees baring pastel-colored band-aids and small scrapes and purple bruises, in the same state her elbows were. Cute. Nimble fingers handling the book that seemed so out-of-place in its size where it weighed down heavily in her lap. She looked like such a fucking fairytale. A soft-tinted cotton-candy daydream.

Ready to have his bloody hands fuck up everything.

Bloody hell. What the fuck is he doing?

He can’t just stand there like some lovesick freak and do nothing, simply waiting for the school-bell to sound off its alarm, making her jump up like a little bunny popping up from its rabbit-hole where she’ll struggle with carrying that ridiculous book and sit down in class only to daydream about going back outside, but not before she’ll walk past him, allowing him to smell that sweet perfume that always has his heart clenching furiously in his chest and his cock growing warm and heavy in his pants.

What is wrong with him?

He can’t be thinking of her like that. This sweet precious little flower sitting so quietly with no wish to bother anyone, so soft and sweet he bet she’d cry if she so much as stepped on an ant. He wondered if she was a crier, if she’d be this adorable little crybaby ball of sobs and wet moans beneath him. He wondered what types of sound she’d make if he shoved his cock inside her. If she’d squeal and gasp and hiccup at his size, if she’d mewl, if she’d whimper, if she’d scream.

Fuck.

He needed to calm the fuck down.

To think he would never have met her if he hadn’t been forced to sign up to that stupid side-course. To think he was so mad that he didn’t make the cut for the class about war-theory and was forced to take philosophy with a bunch of air-headed freaks instead. To think he almost didn’t meet her. To think- fuck, he’s even starting to sound like one of them fucking philosophy-ditzes.

To be or not to be, or to drool over the girl sitting beneath the willow-tree.

Maybe that’s what he should submit next time they have one of those moronic poetry sessions. Perhaps then she would look at him with interest, with surprise and even praise, maybe even reverence, mirroring the look he gives her when she stands on the podium reciting her swirling words and artful descriptions, looking as though she’s entirely in her own world, dreaming, not just speaking but preaching, preaching to him about gods he’s never heard of yet somehow always believed in.

He used to believe gods drank blood and could only be celebrated through pain, that they made creatures like him, crafted him from dragon bones and fire and everything sharp and deadly, crafting him from war for war to become war itself, to find purpose in conquering, to find worth in glory. But now… looking at this creature, this creature who celebrates life and not death through laughter and daydreams and love far away from pain, he knows he’s had it all wrong.

He’s no good with words. He never has been. Except when insulting people, then he turns into a fucking lyric. What she can do is a gift. Either that, or she’s simply just insane. Either way, he doesn’t really care. She’s still soft, a tender type of madness, sweet and small and would look so good with a couple of love-bites to crash that display of milk and cream and cotton, so fucking brilliant with his handprint marking her ass… and he’s doing it again.

Fuck.

None of that will happen if he doesn’t grow a pair and go talk to her. But he can’t just talk to her. He has nothing to say. Or he has plenty to say, but nothing she could hear. He needed to find the most straightforward approach, however… while it needed to be unmistakable or lest she misunderstand, it couldn’t be aggressive. That would frighten her and he couldn’t risk spooking her away. He couldn’t risk ruining everything. It was apparent she didn’t think too much of him except that he was an angry looking boy in her Friday-classes, he needed to prove he too could be… sweet… or at least something akin to it.

He was wrong in thinking that anything would make her look up from her book. Even as he stood a mere meter away from her, she didn’t look up, completely lost and submerged in her own world as she always was. Only when he cleared his throat did she finally lift her gaze, eyes fluttering from traveling the pages and blinked softly to look up at him.

Cute.

He forgot to say anything, with a hand reached out, fisting the air, knuckles whitening in his grip, where inside the seemingly furious hand was something to contrast his otherwise deadly red stare.

The look of puzzlement on her face was insurmountable. Her small hands giving no indication to receive whatever he was offering.

“Is this a threat?” Came her soft voice, shaking him out of the faze he’d slipped into, though quickly plunging him into another one, this time not so much anticipation but confusion.

“What? No!” The both of them simply looked at each other for a moment. Bakugo’s hand still protruding out towards her, the thing in his hand no more tempting to accept than before to the girl who was still planted, making no action to get up from her spot.

“I don’t understand…” She admitted, wondering if he perhaps wanted her seat in the shade, but wasn’t given the time to ask the question as he decided to clear things up.

“It’s a flower.”

She could see that. It was a flower ripped from its root, an otherwise healthy flower before being suffocated in Bakugo’s death-grip.

“It’s a dead flower…” She corrected, a hint of sorrow on her features and he knew he was already failing in his pursuit, wanting to make things right before they could derail even more.

“It’s pretty... like you.” That came out as even more an ominous threat he realized, indicating she’d end up like the proven pretty dead flower in his chokehold.

“Are you sure this isn’t a threat?” The fact that she felt the need to ask him not only once but twice told him all he needed to know of her thoughts regarding him. She obviously thought he was a deranged explosive beast from the Hero-course.

“Goddamn it, no, I…” He frustrated, finding it hard to arrange the words, finding it hard to even find the words. “You… You’re so… You-” She was oblivious to how much he was struggling it seemed, as her personality suddenly shifted and she jumped up, book thrown to her side rather recklessly, skirt with ruffles and all bouncy with the same vigor as her tits.

“Oh!” She exclaimed, clapping her hands together, eyes wide with such bright light Bakugo almost felt blinded by, it even managing to frightened him a bit. “Thank you, that’s very good to know! I’d be terrified if I was anyone but me!” His brows lifted in dawning realization, feeling safer by being calmed by the reminder of how he was talking to a ditz, a complete mental-case… though… a mental-case who’d managed to dance her way and get lost in his heart. “Pardon me for being so blunt, but I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself if I didn’t ask.” Preparing him for her question, she leant in just a bit more, looking at him intently. “Are you yourself today, Bakugo?”

As absurd as the question was to him, when it rolled off her tongue it nearly seemed like the most casual of things to ask someone, as though she was requesting his thoughts on the weather. And though it was the epitome of peculiar, the more he thought about it, the more he realized how appropriate the question was, because he were, in fact, not at all feeling like himself.

“… No.”

She gave a contemplative look and a hum. “Then you must be Baku-gone…” He couldn’t hold back the snort that followed her statement, again being reminded of what a complete klutz she was, something so far away from his cynical view of the world and something far more relaxing than what his fears had managed to conjure of her rejection. It seemed so ridiculous now, that he’d thought she would run away or scream, never having let himself imagine her in what he knew was her true nature, light-hearted and incapable of doing any harm, at least not on purpose. “Wow, you really must be, huh?” She continued, fishing him out of his curt chuckling. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you laugh. Come to think of it… I don’t think I’ve ever even seen you smile.” She mused, admiring the small pleasantness stretched upon his face.

But then his brows furrowed, the happiness seeping from his features and leaving them contorted with annoyance, much to her dismay, regretting her choice of words. “I smile.” He argued, looking at her as though demanding she explain herself.

She cocked her head to the side, eyeing him, scrunching her brows and biting her lip for a second or two as though she were in deep thought, not wanting to upset him any further, though not wanting to speak without candidness. “No… you… bare teeth… like a wolf eager to catch its prey.” His ears retracted, features taken aback by her observation, finding he couldn’t quite say otherwise, though he’d never viewed it that way, but again, the more he thought about it, the more all her strange words made sense as he found them to be true. Silly of him to think his wolf-in-sheep’s-clothing approach could fool her, silly of him to think he could fool himself into believing she’d ever consider going out with someone so… predatory.

Though, minds are easily swayed, he reminded himself of. Her opinion of him wasn’t set in stone after all. “Does it scare you?” He finally asked, finding that was the only thing he was actually curious about. Though… perhaps it wouldn’t be the worst thing if she did fear him just a bit, because god knows how terrified he is of her and how she makes him feel as though he’s bleeding or falling or stripped of everything, cut by the knees and naked and so very needy to have her just look at him.

“I would say no, but I cannot lie.” His heart sunk upon hearing her admit it, disappointed, not sure if it was in her or in him.

She’s scared… Of course, she is scared! Who wouldn’t be? Dumb of him to think anything else.

“But, that’s rather the point isn’t it? To scare people?” She took a step forward, eyes bright and hopeful, hating to think she’d upset him.

“Not you.” It was barely above a whisper, words simply cast out there, and it left the girl looking perplexed, curious and even guilt-stricken or ashamed.

“Well… I shouldn’t fear things I know too little about… that would be silly…” She felt the urge to touch him, wanting him to truly hear her words, wanting to enforce them by touch, yet as her hands reached out to take his all so brazenly her eyes fell upon the flower again. She didn’t really have any wish to touch something dead, it always being such a cold and empty feeling running like ice through her veins, yet she reached out to receive the flower anyway, not wanting to hurt his feelings. “So, if not my fear, what is it this Bakugone wishes of me then?” She slipped on a tender smile, genuine and perfect, her soft fingertips brushing against his.

“I…” He was so focused on how she was touching him, the pressure, the elegance, the perfection, so focused he forgot the words again, so focused on her soft fingertips, her warmth, her pastel-manicured nails, he didn’t realize how the movement had stilled.

“You want to eat my heart.”

Her voice made him look up from where they were conjoined, crimson orbs dragged slowly to meet the oddity of her voice no less her words, yet as he looked, he continued to search because he found no eyes looking back at him, only whites, wide gleaming glowing void whites staring at him.

“You want to rip open my ribcage and feast.” Shaken and confused his brows twisted as he yet again tried to find her eyes. “You want to see me burst and bloom for you.” He hadn’t tried pulling his hand away, not really wanting to either, but he realized he perhaps wouldn’t be able to even if he’d wanted with how hard she was now digging her once soft fingers into his wrist. “You want to cripple me. You want to hear my deathbed confession. You want to lick the sin from my expression.” Her brows were the ones to crinkle now as she inhaled a shuddering breath, her hand shaking as she held onto him, seemingly as though her life depended on it. “You want and you’ve been wanting for so long. You want and want, there’s no end to what you want.” Her voice was now frantic, sporadic, hitched and frightened. “You want more and more and more and more and more-” She shook so much she lost her footing and tripped, staggering back and hitting the dirt with a sharp thud, knocking her out of whatever trance she’d slipped into, no more words coming thundering from her lips except for a cute little exclamation of oof, fluffy skirt puffed out around her like a jellyfish.

“What the fuck!” He shouted once she let go, flower falling to the floor, dropped in the midst of his shock and confusion as to what had happened, yet also feeling embarrassed with how she’d seemed to have caught him red-handed, and shaken with how much she knew, disturbed with how it all had been phrased, yet concerned, concerned because he knew he’d failed, he’d scared her so much she nearly melted, but somehow even more concerned with how she’d hit the ground. “I’m-” She looked up at him and he was left dumbstruck with how wide her eyes were and how full they now seemed with the return of her irises and pupils. No longer looking like wax, but like great gems or galaxies he couldn’t help but fall prey to, especially with how glossy they were, shining and glimmering and wet, wet with tears.

“No wonder you feel gone.” She suddenly mumbled, or it wasn’t exactly a mumble, but in contrast to whatever voice she spoke in before it surely seemed subdued. “Someone’s run off with your heart!” She clumsily got back to her feet, gripping his shoulders, nearly making him stagger back and fall with just how intense and vivid her actions were thrown at him. “You’re in love!” She squealed, nearly screaming it at him, before reeling herself back in, probably only now realizing how she’d attacked the boy. “Excuse me, I mean pardon, I mean I’m terribly sorry if I frightened you.” She backed away, fingers playing with each other as she tumbled through her sentence. “It’s my quirk you see. It has a habit of living its own life. I didn’t mean to spout out your desires like that, it was a total invasion of your privacy and completely rude and unethical on my side. I really am so sorry. Would you forgive me?”

Wasn’t he the one who should be apologizing to her?

He remained stunned and confused and growing even more so by the second as she spoke. “Perhaps I could make it up to you? Perhaps I can help you in your quest to retrieve your heart? Who is the thief?”

And there it was.

She was so overwhelmed she didn’t even pick up who the emotions were for.

Silly thing.

This made him ease up. He hadn’t spoiled everything yet. In fact, she seemed even more enthusiastic now than before, even more eager to talk to him and help him even. “Is it that green-haired boy? What was his name again? Something with D or M, I can’t for the life of me remember! Or perhaps it’s the floaty one? You know, the one with the big brown eyes. No! I know who it is, it’s the one with the shark teeth, and the spikey red hair-” She rambled, and even though some of her suggestions revolted him, he couldn’t bring himself to stop her when she was so… so bouncy with thrill, so cute with how her tits squeezed together in her top and jumped for him with every word that fell from those lushes pink lips that would feel so good to bite into and feel on his neck and down his chest and-

“You can help me.” He suddenly blurted, whipping her from her rambling.

“Really?!” Big eyes, filled with such expectancy and acceptance of whatever he was about to request even without a shred of knowing what. “How?” It was as though it were her life wish to help, that denying him would mean death or something even worse in her eyes.

“By making it up to me.”

His grin returned, the one that lacked… not exactly happiness, because there was still a certain glee to it, a certain enjoyment, yet lacking altruism and was instead left looking greedy and gluttonous and as though he was made up of… teeth, and only teeth, and too many teeth, and that those teeth were too sharp.

“Oh.” She seemed drained of her vigorous passion, like a light snuffed out, swallowing thickly. And though she knew it all to be in her head, knew it all to be but a figment of her fears, she still took a step back as though she’d seen something that worried her, and was quickly followed by what had worried her as Bakugo paralleled her backtracking, leaving her no further away from his hungry open-mouthed smirk.

“Kiss me.” She realized she’d backed all the way into the tree, her back meeting the hard trunk seemed to shake her from her vision as the biting image submerged and left her with a quite normal-looking Bakugo towering over her, no longer Bakugone or just a toothy grin, and she was left deciding whether it was any better or maybe even worse than what she had been picturing.

Yet, she had no time to think as Bakugo’s hand raised to cup her cheek, where in the seconds it took for him to do so, she needed to prepare herself for all his obsessive lovesick thoughts she knew would yet again flood her mind, only now she wouldn’t shake from them, and what more, now she knew who they were about. Poor thing had taken Bakugo’s heart without knowing, without knowing to prepare for Bakugo’s blood-stained scarred hand to reach into her chest and hold her own terror-wide heart in a chokehold as he too took it for himself. Without knowing how to protect herself from his many sharp teeth that would steal and eat to satiate what livid hungry fire, what desperate thirst she’d awoken inside his heart, to relieve the pain of it all, to finally breath again, to find safety, to find belonging, to find life. And she had no way of preparing for it, no way of protecting herself from it, no way of hiding from Bakugo’s sharp teeth… but when his hand, his calloused sandpaper-textured palm handled her cheek she was met with a new image, a soft-tinted mellow yet dramatic rhapsodic fire, one that she rather cherished than feared, one that she felt like chasing, one that seemed like it was calling her.

Bakugo leaned in slowly, as though asking for permission, receiving no complaints, just a set of large eyes staring at him. Her hands, feeling as though their fingertips had plunged deep into the bark of the tree behind her, ripped loose to touch him, feeling the simmering plethora of brutally violent passions swimming beneath them as they hovered on top of his skin. Tasting it on her tongue as he captured her soft lips with his own stiff ones. She could taste the hunger, the teeth, the longing, the pain, the fire, the waiting and time he’d suffered in the darkness all alone, she could taste the war, but more… she could taste the fear, the fear of losing or not having at all, and at the very tip of her tongue, stronger than anything else, she caught it, the flavor crystalized like sugar… hope… love.

Support me at KO-FI if you feel like it<3

#bakugo #bakugou #katsukibakugou #bakugou katsuki #Katsuki Bakugō #yandere bakugo katsuki #katsuki #yandere katsuki #katsuki bakugo imagine #katsuki bnha #bakugou imagine #bnha bakugo katsuki #katsuki bakugo x reader #yandere #yandere bakugou #yandere bnha #yandere bakugo #yandere boku no hero academia #yandere mha

1K notes · View notes

twopoppies · 3 years

Note

wanna hear a funny story to make up for the shitty discourse?

my parents got me a one direction cake for my birthday (cause they wanted to see my cry- and it worked) and it is ABSOLUTELY HILARIOUS to me that my dad will go to crazy lengths not to accidentally eat one of the boys' faces cause he "doesn't like them"

so i gave niall to my mom cause he's her favourite (according to her he sounds like brian adams and that's apparently all it takes), gave liam to a friend of mine cause he's his favourite, kept louis for myself cause PAWS OFF MY BOY and threatened anyone who dared cut too close to harry.

then i tried to give zayn to my dad so he could also get a face but he just yelled "NO, NO WAY, JUST GET ME THAT BIT OFF THE EDGE WITHOUT THEM ON IT"

i woke up today with the faceless parts of the cake meticulously cut around so that only zayn and harry's faces remained, my dad was eating the rest.

so now i have two, vaguely oval-shaped pieces of cake that i'll have to eat cause my dad refuses to.

i keep laughing at him everytime i see him, and my plan is to torture him even further by blasting one direction at every available moment. it'll be my revenge for the glass of ice-cold water i got poured down my back as a "birthday tradition" (IT HAS LITERALLY NEVER HAPPENED TO ANYONE BUT ME).

so yeah, suck it dad, you created a monster

(also look at the cake i was honestly just so happy)

Hahahaha! That's really funny! I hope you had a wonderful birthday, despite the cold water!

46 notes · View notes

chrisjake-cp · 3 years

Text

History 3 Trapped Filming Diary (full English translation) - Days 1-10

Just before you start reading, a little note of explanation: the author of this diary will frequently use the character’s name when they mean the actor. I have added the names of the actors between square brackets sometimes to avoid confusion. Also between square brackets you will find some words that are implied, so I added them in the translation to make the translation a bit smoother, but they aren’t included in the Chinese text.

The book’s author will also talk in the first person POV sometimes, refering to themselves as either “I”, “we” or “this little editor 小编”. So each time you see me write “I”, it is not my own opinion I’m inserting in the text, but the author/editor’s. If I have anything else to add or explain myself, I’ll add it in a note at the end of the text.

I’ll repeat: I don’t own the book so I can’t post my scans of the pictures that came with every day. So I posted some other pictures of the scenes that were being filmed with each day. These pics belong to LINE TV or Choco Media, or I’ve taken screenshots.

Day 1-10 under the cut.

Day 1

The first day of shooting happened to coincide with ‘Li Dong’⁕ but the temperatures of that day soared to 29 degrees. The crew was going sleeveless, but the actors were all wearing sweaters or dress shirts. Tang Yi, who had on the most, was wearing a turtleneck sweater and a suit jacket on top at one point, but he didn’t sweat very much.⁕ Meanwhile A De [Stanley], wearing a shirt and a suit jacket, was [clad] the ‘thinnest’ at the scene. When he got off work and took off his sweaty shirt, the wardrobe department exclaimed: “This shirt is so wet!”

Officer Meng’s scenes for that day consisted of eating from 10 am in the morning until 6pm in the evening. He basically ate from when he got to work until he got off work. All in all he had two large bags of rice and poured 4 liters of coca cola. Junhao [Jake] will start sweating profusely and start flushing when he eats spicy food, so as soon as the director yelled ‘cut’, the crew would immediately pass him a plastic bag so he could spit out the spicy Kung Pao Chicken he was eating.

⁕ Li Dong 立冬 literally means ‘establishing the winter’, so it is some kind of winter solstice in Asian culture. In the Gregorian calendar, it falls on 7 or 8 November. According to the IG stories of some of the cast of Trapped, it was indeed 7 November 2018 when shooting started.

⁕ Chris apparently doesn’t sweat much, no matter how hot he gets. He says as much in his vlog as well. I envy him, because I’d just be sweating buckets like Stanley.

Day 2

The first meeting between Tang Yi and Wenhao is also the second time that Chengyang [Chris] and teacher Jiakui [Chen Jiakui, the actor who plays Chen Wenhao] worked together. They cooperated for the first time on a movie. At that time teacher Jiakui served as the movie’s drama teacher. When Chris had gone through make-up in the early morning, he sat alone in a corner with the script. You could easily see that he was conflicted and upset. [For the other movie] teacher Jiakui was Chris’ mentor, but here Wenhao was the target of Tang Yi’s revenge.

In the process of their scenes where they faced each other, the director hoped that Tang Yi could hate Wenhao even more, but Tang Yi’s personality is subdued and calm. So how could he fly into a raging fit and still keep his calm? In a part that was not captured on camera, teacher Jiakui aggravated some lines to make Chris more infuriated. Afterwards teacher Jiakui also said that the role of Tang Yi is not easy to perform. [Tang Yi] is a young mob boss, The hate in his eyes must therefore also carry a bit of youthfullness, which is difficult to experience for normal people in the course of their lives.

Day 3

Today was the first time that Zhaozi arrived on set, and while he was bored waiting for his scenes, Zhaozi started to act as the shop’s clerk to sell suits. Apart from suits, bowties and regular ties, he even managed to sell shoehorns. By oneself, the words just kept on flying out of his mouth which left Shaofei beside him looking dumbfounded (if you want to see Shaofei’s dumbfounded meme-like look, you have to absolutely watch the behind-the-scenes on the DVDs)⁕. [Shaofei] continued to shout “If you buy a shoehorn you get Zhaozi for free with it, please someone take Zhaozi away, Unit 3 can’t stand it anymore.”

Boss Tang was tired, and took a nap in his own shop. ‘Just a little while will do. Shaofei and A De, you two be on the lookout for me, and if the director is coming, remember to wake me.’

⁕ Excellent advice. Please do watch the behind-the-scenes after finishing this book, because a lot of what is written here is visualized in the bts. The bts are arranged per episode though, and not per filming day, but it’s still amazing to be able to see what went on.

Day 4

The set for the offices of Investigation Unit 3 is actually the office of LINE TV’s Choco Media branch. The contemporary industrial style caused the atmosphere among Unit 3 to be even more lively.

For Unit 3’s first scene together, the director used a one-shot to have everyone appear on the scene, which meant that the first time all the actors were present, they had to have a ‘chemistry’ test. But apart from the actors, chemistry also had to be there for the whole staff, as the directing crew, the camera crew and the sound crew, really everyone, also had to follow [the actors] along⁕. I still remember that by the 20th take, everyone’s lines ran very smoothly, the shot was satisfactory and everyone was where they were supposed to be. The director and the crew were holding their breath in concentration, and just when they thought they’d succeed, A Zhi [character Zhou Guanzhi, played by Kass Tsai] forgot a line in the very last sentence hahahaha. In the end, this round took 27 takes.

⁕ The author uses a metaphor/reference here. They write 乾坤大挪移 which means something like ‘The Great Shift of the Cosmos’ and is apparently a kind of martial art from a martial arts novel. It consists of 7 increasingly difficult skill levels, whereby the 7th level is almost unattainable. In other words, shooting this one-shot scene required the whole cast and crew pulling off this great cosmos shift, and thus was a big, big challenge.

Day 5

After we shot the scene where the two idiots from Unit 3 [Shaofei and Zhaozi] got into trouble and received an explosive scolding by Dapao [Shi Dapao, the name of Unit 3’s Captain]⁕, the director told Shaofei that she wanted to add a scene where he sat next to the window thinking about Sister Lizhen, continuing in the same mood [as the previous scene]...Everyone in Unit 3 felt that Shaofei was continuing to set his teeth into a meaningless old case. If there had only been some progress in the investigation...but [Shaofei] not only didn’t find any new leads, but he also got into trouble everywhere. If Sister Lizhen would still be alive, he wouldn’t be like this now...Shaofei really, really missed sister Lizhen. Rather than say that the director added this scene at the last moment, it’s more like she deliberately didn’t tell Junhao [Jake] that she would add this part.

When they were shooting, the director played the music from the music box through the megaphone and from time to time talked as well, to provoke moody feelings in Jake. In the end Jake grabbed his phone and scrolled through his mother’s Facebook, and to all our surprise Jake started bawling, so much so that even after the ‘cut’ he couldn’t stop, until the director walked over and lightly patted him on the back. To be able to cry like that in a short amount of time, even he himself hadn’t expected that.

⁕ How much fun is it that the name of the Captain of Unit 3 literally means big cannon, when he explodes in anger all the damn time? 😂 I am quite convinced that in the hospital scene where Shaofei tells Tang Yi of his fortune-telling and that only a cannon can strike him down - he uses the exact same wording ‘dapao’ - it’s actually an inside joke and he may not have meant ‘cannon’ literally.

Day 6

Today’s weather couldn’t be called very fine, and when we were shooting until 3 or 4 P.M., the daylight was almost gone, just when the filming location had large windows in every corner that reached the ground. Our funny director said “Why did the production team run out of light after 3 P.M.? Did they forget to send notice⁕ to the sun?” This caused the crew that was present to not know whether to laugh or cry. But in the end, before the sun got off work, everyone else smoothly finished their job as well.

⁕ the term “to send notice” is quite literal, but the word is indeed an entertainment industry term as well, that means to hire someone for a short amount of time or for a specific show, without there having to be a longer-term contractual agreement. So it could also be translated as “did they forget to hire the sun [to star in today’s scenes]?”

Day 7

It was a day with complicated feelings for Shaofei and little Tang Yi, as Shaofei discovered Tang Yi’s past history.

Before going to meet the adoptive father of his lover, of course Shaofei had to straighten himself out first and shave his beard to leave a good impression. In the evening, today’s final scene was shot. Before starting filming, the director hoped that [Tang Yi’s] adoptive father could guide little Tang Yi’s mood, because the intensity of this scene needed to bring out the reason why Tang Yi’s feelings for Tang Guodong ran so deep and make everyone feel the warmth that Tang Guodong brought to Tang Yi even more.

Under the constant conflict of raising [little Tang Yi] through much difficulties, a loud and clear slap came down heavily on little Tang Yi’s face. The silence at the [shooting] site caused the loud sound to be infinitely amplified, and the director and the crew were all shocked. When the ‘cut’ sounded, little Tang Yi instantly started crying, and the director rushed to the room immediately. On every crew member’s face was reluctance and shock. Meanwhile the adoptive father sat with his head down on the sofa, full of remorse.

An extra tidbit from the same scene: the crew’s love for little gadgets

There are always a few conspicuous toys in front of the director’s monitor. She explained that these were toys that members of the crew who are close to her gave her to alleviate stress. I don’t know which toy is the director’s favourite?

Day 8

For the setting of the toilets of Unit 3 we actually used the toilets in a department store. Zhaozi, who arrived at the store very early in the morning, was hit on by an older lady who was just coming into work. The lady said: “Aren’t you Zhao Youting [Mark Chao]? You definitely are Zhao Youting!!” Even though Zhaozi went on to deny it, the lady didn’t listen and believed that this handsome guy in front of her was Zhao Youting himself.

Actually, Zhaozi passed on the above story [to us], and no one actually saw this older lady. Zhaozi often tells bluff stories with a straight face, but I [this little editor] have my reservations about its credibility. But be as it may, after he was told that he looked like Zhao Youting, Zhaozi’s acting skills immediately leveled up. So okay, whether or not the story was real, we thank this lady ‘from the legends’.

Day 9

Can I call you dad after this hug?

I still remember the story of a friend coming out to his mother. He said to his mom: “I’m sorry if this thing disappoints you. I don’t dare to ask for your blessing. I just hope that you can show some understanding.” Through a chat message, his mother could only briefly reply: “If your other half is a good kid, I will give you my blessing.”

Many people in a same-sex relationship don’t dare to confess to the older generation and they don’t dare to ask for their blessings. Their only hope is not to be hated. It’s like that facing this society, and it’s the case when facing your beloved family. When Wenhao and Shaofei met each other, Wenhao gave Shaofei a hug. This hug must have carried [Wenhao’s] unspoken blessing.

No worries, dear father-in-law. I, Officer Meng, will take care of everything (pats on the back).

Wenhao and Guodong together brings its own hint of romance.⁕ The fighting was very intense that day, so much so that the police dispatched a Quick Fight Force team in concern [for the situation].

⁕ The term that the author uses is 腐味 (fuwei, the taste of fu). The first character, ‘fu’ is the same ‘fu’ that is used in terms like fujoshi 腐女子 and fudanshi 腐男子 (which are Japanese) but it’s the same pronunciation for that first character. So the author implies that there might have been something more than friendship going on between Chen Wenhao and Tang Guodong. They imply the same thing later in the book as well (day 60, where the two are called a CP).

Day 10

A Mei [Stanley] who portrays A De, said that he was the expert in getting beaten [in this drama]. I say that Stanley definitely dedicated himself to taking on that role. Many times his head bumped into the wall and the crew told him to take a break, but Stanley couldn’t stop yelling “no no, hurry up, I’m familiar with it now!”

All the way through the end Officer Meng and Vixen⁕ no.1, A De, cheered each other on before ‘Action!’ [was called].

⁕ The word for vixen is ‘fox spirit’ 狐狸精 in Chinese. I love that and I could probably write essays on this subject. In classical Chinese literature, foxes were most of the time portrayed as (mainly female) temptresses who seduced males for sex and then didn’t shy away from sucking the soul out of them, kind of like a succubus. If anyone is ever in the mood for some academic literature about foxes in late imperial China, I've got you covered https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/3237790-alien-kind

So A De and Andy are constantly referred to as these foxes who want to seduce Tang Yi and snatch him away in front of Shaofei’s eyes.

18 notes · View notes

doctor-plagueis · 3 years

Text

Nora's Knightly Love

Trigger Warning: mentions of noncon and rape you have been warned.

Nora had some troubles, well actually it was a lot of troubles.

From night terrors, to night terrors and night... ok so, Nora has nightmares because of...a lot. Nora lived in the North where if you aren't strong, you die,and she almost did, repeatedly from Beowulfs to Ursas to...people...

Gods...if it wasn't for mother she wouldn't be a virgin today...

That's not a memory she relishes, watching her mother be used as a toy for men like she's nothing but a hole to fuck...Nora was five years old and they were gonna do that to her...fuck, she's crying and shaking again.

Damnit fuck fuck fuck why can't she forget that night daMNIT!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Nora's crying again...he should do something...

"Hey Nora, you ok?" he asked meekly

"Huh!" she nearly jumped from her bed at that "Um, um, ye 'm fine..."

"You're not very good at lying" he said while getting up...he's not wearing his pijamas.

"When’d you start sleeping shirtless Fearless Leader? Also are those shorts?" she was curious...and also deflecting.

He moved closer she could see him better now...when'd he get so buff? When he sat down at her bed she realized something...Pyrrha and Rennie were out on their date...

"Started when Yang decided to steal it, apparently she feels comfy in it...weird huh?"

"Yea..."

Awkward silence, more awkward silence even more awkward silence...

“C’mon Nora you can talk to me I'm your leader...and hopefully your friend?" wait, was he unsure of that?

“‘F’course you're my friend Jauney, why, did you think weren't?" Huh weird she's calmer, maybe it has something to do with talking to Fearless Leader? He does have a pretty reassuring presence.

"Well, maybe there's some culture shock with you being a Northerner and me being Arcadian, but in Arcadia when a friend is feeling down we talk about it and sort it out together, would you like that? Would you like to talk?" He was trying to be reassuring… his sisters were always better at it than him.

"...ok" Nora sounds so meek, this is weird.

"You sure? We don't have to y'know" He was calming to her, talking with him made her less scared...maybe this is what she needs?

"Growing up in the North is difficult Jaune-" whoa she called him Jaune not Fearless Leader or Jauney...this is serious "-You either fight back against the world and it's dangers or you die...or worse..." at that Nora saw Jaune recoil slightly not noticeable if they weren't this close…huh…

"My mom and I lived with dad until he was taken by the cold...my only memory of him is lighting his pyre with mum..." she took a breath...this is harder than she predicted. Damnit...

"Then me and mum decided to head south, to warmer lands, away from the shithole that is the North-" wait...is Jaune ok, he looks weird...she'll keep talking with a closer eye now..."-But before we got to the seas...we...we were attacked by raider..."

Jaune was now visibly sweating and breathing heavy, memories were flooding back...bad, bad memories...

"Nothing happened to me but...mum let herself be...used by them she, she was raped Jaune, just so I wouldn't, and then they took her away like some trophy of conquest...that's how I became an orphan...Jaune?" uh oh he's freaking out.

"Jaune, JAUNE!"

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jaune awoke today was a special day, today would be the day his dad finally train him, actually, really train him, with Crocea Mors! This was going to be the start his glory, his heroism would begin today! Hahah oh that’s corny heheh…But he really couldn’t wait…

…So Jaune had taken Crocea Mors to train alone in the woods, so what? He was already gonna train with dad anyway!

(CRACK)

“Huh? What was that?” oookkk so Jaune was suddenly a little worried.

“Well, well, well ain’t you a pretty lil’ thang” came a hoarse voice from the trees.

“Who? Who’s there!? I-I have a sword!” Shit shit shit; Jaune wasn’t ready for this sorta stuff! Fighting some Creeps or young Beowulfs is one thing but fighting someone is different!

“Ohohoho, looks like this blond cutie has sum fight in’im…good, more fun this way…” that’s really, really creepy and concerning.

“Where are you!? Show yourself!” Jaune tried being intimidated.

“Oh don’tchu worry, ya won’t have time to anyways”

“wha-”

“you’ll be more worried about breathin’ with a cock in yer throat hahahaha!”

At that Jaune chose to make the smart move: run like hell!

Except he didn’t get away…

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“JAUNE!” Nora screamed.

“Huh, wha!?”

“Are you okay!? No, don’t answer that you, clearly aren’t!”

“I-I uh…”

Jaune was silent now, which for Nora was a bad sign…

…Maybe it’s time for Nora to act less like a Northerner and start acting more like an Arcadian…

“Jauney…yo-um-ya-crap, ok, Jaune” she said searching for words and getting his attention.

“Jaune look at me” he did.

“Did did-um did I bring some bad things up? I mean obviously I did but-um” ugh this is difficult how do Arcadians do it?

“Did I bring anything bad for you?”

“Ye-yea, I um…you just reminded me how I lost my…”

“Virginity?” she really hopes he says no, please for Brothers sake say no!

“Yea…”

“Oh Jaune I-I’m sorry I didn’t mean to I-” She made him remember such a horrible thing…

“Don’t, you couldn’t have known” she shouldn’thave known…

Nora got up stood in front of Jaune and held her arms open…Nora isn’t good at this but at least she knows hugs are good comfort…

...Jaune accepted the hug.

“You can cry Jaune …please cry it’s good for you…”

“(Hick) I’m not goin’ to cry (hick)”

“Stop forcing yourself to be strong…isn’t that what you made me do? I’m here…”

At that Jaune broke down like a faulty dam, and he didn’t stop crying for a long, long time.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

That was a week ago.

Jauney and I have been spending more time together we’re supporting each other as best we can…

…My nightmares are going away, well, not really, but with Jauney's help they’re…manageable…I’ve found myself talking less with Rennie, and I don’t really mind it weirdly, oh well, Rennie does need to spend more time with his girlfriend after all…

…Hope Pyrrha's taking care of him well.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Nora and I have been talking about our…pasts a lot lately, its helping.

Nora and I also have been having these weird silences, not awkward but comforting, is this what friends feel all the time? Pyrrha and I don’t have these silences, neither do any of the other girls, huh, kinda feels special for some reason…

…I like the silence.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Almost a month now, me and Jauney have been talking for a month, and I feel like we’ve bonded so much over so little time, maybe we’ve bonded even faster than Rennie and I did...I like it Jaune and I’s bond, feels good, really good…

…I think I like him, like, like-him-like-him. I’m okay with it, more than okay actually…

…Does he feel the same?... Why am I even worrying he doesn’t?...

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I really like Nora, oh who’s believing that blatant lie?

I Love Nora. As more than a friend, I love Nora romantically…

…Maybe she feels the same? Oh, who am I kidding? she’d never love someone like me, not after… (sigh)

Maybe I should just ask her out she’ll reject me and we can go back to talking like friends.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Alright perfect Ren and Pyrrha are away I can ask Him/Her

“Hey Nora/Jaune” they said simultaneously

“Oh, go ahead Nora” always the gentleman, one of his many charms.

“Nu-uh Fearless leader you first!” she said playfully

“yeahokayIcandothis” Jaune said under his breath

“Nora” “Yeah?” “Would you go get some dinner with me?”

“Ooh like dinner pancakes? Sure Jauney, you’re the best!” she was so excited (sigh) she’s amazing…

“N-No more like a-ummm”

“A what Jauney?”

“Wouldyougooutonadatewithme?” Oh great, he messed it up.

“…” her silence is so deafening, I really fucked up huh?

“…YES!!!” wait wut?

“Ohyoudon’tknowhowmanyweeksI’vewaitedforeitherofustoaskthatIwasgonna askyououtmyselfbecauseIcouldn’twaitand-”

“Nora! Nora calm down and speak in a way I can understand”

“I, yea, sorry, got too excited, started talking Nora mode, anyways-” she was…still talking really fast, but at least he could understand now! “-The answer is yes, also fuck yes and also gods I’ve waited too long to do: this!”

Suddenly Nora lunged forward and stabbed Jaune…Nah she just kissed him…WAIT A DAMN MINUTE!

“mhnph!” “Mmm~oh yeah, always knew you’d taste good Jauney~” “…izzat a yes?”

“What do you think?” “I think I’m dreaming that’s what” Nora giggled at that, fuck, even her laugh is adorable

“Well you’re wide awake, and, you got yourself a date! Isn’t that a confidence boost~” Fucking hell Nora knows how to be seductive.

“I’m the luckiest guy in beacon right now!” he said with his signature goofy grin

“Well” she wrapped her arms around his “where’s our date going to be?”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[Notes]

[Pyrrha and Ren are indeed dating.]

[Yes the Booty Tier List will affect this check it out]

[Again this is going to be my first smut story so I'd apreciate the criticism]

Here ya go this is the first part of this two-shot.

Nest one will be smut I promise.

Part 1 / Part2

#nora's arc #jaune arc #nora valkyrie

32 notes · View notes

snowydaffodils · 4 years

Text

Flustered

3501 words | 2nd Person POV

A Yoon Jeonghan fluff, prompt, how you met, how you (hinted) eventually dated, where you're an actress and he's the other lead actor. Enjoy your new years! 🎉

---

Yoon Jeonghan is very rarely flustered. If anything, he's usually the cause of all the flustering - twelve boys can back you up on that. He'd make fun of your height, poke your cheeks, comment cutesy compliments as you work together, flirt playfully, and make fun of how stupid your character sounds.

Indeed, you accepted this role fully aware of the awfully pure and slow-witted character the scriptwriter had written down. Throughout your years in acting, even if this was your very first lead role, you had never gone easy on the rest of the roles you had received. You live and understand them, think like them, and every single character you've performed have now become a part of you. But of course, the closest character to you now is this easily distracted girl who just blushes all the time.

So for the course of eight months, you've acted with all your might, and this is the you that Jeonghan knew. You weren't exactly innocent and slow-witted just like the character, but a bit of the character influenced your own personal traits. The fun to tease, cute, and adorably likable girl. Just like you, it was his first lead role in a drama, and the first one in Seventeen to land on one, too, even if he wasn't the first one to be in one. He had curiously accepted a side role before, right after his military release, and just as the group were exploring their own careers whilst waiting to reunite again as a whole. That side role, with the help of his previous acting lessons, drowned him into the world of acting once more, and he fell in love with the art of the screen more than he ever did before.

Your first impression on him during the first cast meeting was that he looked heavenly. It was like his cheekbones were sculpted to perfection and no one could tell you otherwise. You were incredibly starstruck and in awe that you stuttered in making your first introductions. It didn't help that he was smooth with his words, too, making you sound incredibly nervous as opposed to him.

"Hi, I'm Jeonghan from Seventeen, and I'll be taking the lead role in this drama. Please take care of me."

"Hi, I'm play, uh, playing the lead gull, I mean g-girl."

Had he smiled politely and continued the conversation like nothing had happened, maybe you wouldn't have been too embarrassed, but also maybe you wouldn't have let your guards down to know and befriend him personally. Instead, he had laughed at you with all the stomach power he had. He never lets you forget that you stuttered so badly as you introduced yourself for the first time the entire day. He even made his own reasons (you wouldn't admit them, but they couldn't have been more true) as to why you stuttered.

"Nervous? I'm super charming, aren't I?" his ego is surely out of bounds as he said that, a smirk donning his lips. "I know, I'm surprised at myself, too sometimes."

You hit him on the arm, your cheeks growing in color. "I'm a big fan of Seventeen, but I didn't realize that you're this cheeky."

He laughed, so genuinely and purely, and you smiled, already warmed up to him. He made friends with you quickly, and from all the behind the scenes footage, he was quick to melt his awkward-i-just-met-you exterior and interacted with you as he would with his members. Jeonghan was this tall, built, and handsome man, and he owned unreal facial features that made everyone wonder if he was indeed human just like everyone else. He was perfect for his role: the cold, sly, and dominating lead in the series. It was the complete opposite of your character, and with his friendliness, it was easy for you to quickly build up chemistry and work well with him, but as you two get closer, the more playful he became.

"You're the love of my life," he recited his lines, cheesy as it is, to which you became shy to and shrank as he got closer and closed his lips to yours.

He was quick to tease your blushes after the director's "Cut!" in each kissing scene, and would tease you easily at other romantic or heart fluttering scenes you had to do.

"Aww, that's cute, you're blushing again! I can hear your heart fluttering," he would say. "Then again, I am charming."

And in each time, you were always caught in his trap, stuck in the moment, and your heart follows his lead, ignoring all the other self-restraining signals your head was screaming about. He'd laugh right after he got a reaction out of you, and the grin he'd give you would linger in your head for the rest of the day.

There was another day when one of his members - Joshua - came to support as a cameo, and it felt like Jeonghan was on booster or something. He introduced you to Joshua, who was sweet, polite, and a perfect gentleman, but then Jeonghan continued to tease you the entire day Joshua was there. He made sure to remind Joshua how cute you were so many times throughout the day. At that point you were actually getting used to Jeonghan's antics, but him teasing you in front of a new person puts you on another level of flustered.

"Hey Josh, meet the love of my life," Jeonghan said, using his scripted lines.

Joshua, while he was nicer than Jeonghan, still played along sometimes. "Then I'll call you member-in-law!" He said.

Your birthday was on a filming day, and he managed to fool you to think that you had hurt his feelings by giving him comments on his acting as per usual (you were sure you weren't saying anything bad, but he kept directing it to be a negative one). He started showing acts of distaste and, at one point, even yelled at you and left the room.

It was heart-wrenching to watch him leave - you never wanted to hurt his feelings, you just wanted to help and support him and the drama entirely. Guilt washed over you quickly, and tears piled in your eyes. The crew was looking at you so judgmentally, and all you wanted to do was go home, lock the doors, and hide under your covers. You didn't know what to do, and some of the crew even went to you to convince you that he just needed to blow off steam and he'll be back and you can apologize when he gets back.

You wanted to scream and rip his hair off when he came back with a cake, singing Happy Birthday like nothing happened. Your tears flowed like a river though, because you genuinely thought that Yoon Jeonghan, this man, was actually angry at you to the point that he put it to display to everyone who was present and even yelled at you.

"Don't cry!" he laughed at you, taking the cream from the cake and swiping your cheeks with his finger. "You'll look ugly. We have to take a picture with this cake!"

You cursed at him for the first time since you've known him, but he only chuckled and patted your back to calm down your sniffles (you glared at his finger until he wiped the cream away first, though). He gave you a friendly hug and you hit him to prove the point that you were upset, and it was a loud slap in the back that everyone was surprised but laughed at. Apparently, a behind-the-scenes camera was on and recording the entire surprise; Jeonghan remembered this and went to the camera to tell on you. He complained really loudly, "Carats, she hit me!" he pointed at you playfully.

You were still sniffling, snots everywhere and you eyes still bawling with tears. "Y-you deserve it!" you screamed.

On the last day of filming, you had laughed everything off, remembering everything that happened during the course of filming and engraving every memory to your heart. It was surely an indescribable experience. The crew had been super nice, and they felt like a second family to you. The cast members became your best friends, including the one and only Yoon Jeonghan. You thanked Jeonghan, the rest of the cast, and the entire crew for all their hard work, hugged your co-stars tightly, and told Jeonghan to stay in contact with you even after it all ended because you'd miss him.

"Hey, but don't be a stranger," you told him. "I think I'm too used to having you around, its gonna be hard to live peacefully, now."

He smiled, pinched your cheeks and said, "Did you think I'm gonna stop just because the drama ended? You should've seen me annoy my members even from the military base."

You rolled your eyes at him, "I wouldn't dare to assume you'd do anything less."

And he kept to his word. Though there hadn't been any opportunities for both of you to meet each other again (variety shows and interview promotions were done during the course of filming), he still contacts you day-to-day, even if only to send a meme he found of you and laugh at you through text.

"You really DO look like you've got a frog in your mouth! Hahahaha!"

This went on through the rest of the year until the Award Shows started to busy every single celebrity available, finally announcing the invites, MCs, performances, and nominees to each award they have. Your drama with Jeonghan had hit it big as fans were so happy to watch both of you interact (also, maybe because Woozi sang the main OST, and Scoups' rap on the OST was fire), and you were invited to almost every single one of them as a nominee for multiple awards.

It was first assumed, then implied, but it was also because he was actually sweet enough to ask you personally, that you were officially his date to every one of the award shows your drama was nominated in. You agreed, not because he was your co-star, but because he was a genuinely nice and fun person to spend time with. You were also very excited, not just because you were nominated, but also because this time you were going to finally present your original and true self to Yoon Jeonghan and the world. The other characters within you screamed in delight as you excitement rose, and you had planned everything out, determined to show that you are not just a simple easily teased girl that Yoon Jeonghan bullies on.

On the very first show you wore a white gown - the top part was gold glitter with a heart neckline, and it corseted your figure, highlighting all the important curves in your body. Down your dress, the fabric flowed in an A-line skirt, transparency growing in a gradient as it reached the bottom, your strapped golden heels visible within your skirt. You put your half your hair into a braid and curled the rest. With curtain-like gold earrings and white diamonds shining out of the strands, Jeonghan was stunned when he saw you for the first time. Your make up was different from what he was used to, and a mature-like pureness aura radiates from you. He didn't know what to say, muted to say the least. He had never seen you like that, and once both of you reached the red carpet, his hand on your back as a gentlemanly support to guide you through the reporters, he noticed how straight you walked, and how you carried yourself so gracefully. The reporters were asking questions, but he left the answering to you as he continued to stay stunned through the red carpet. It was only when you both had finally taken your seats when he finally relaxed and converse normally again.

The minimum movements you emitted, just enough to be polite and to please your audience were not missed by the man, and he observed the details of your interactions to the utmost adoration. Your gracefulness had struck a chord in his heart and he was awed to say the least.

He ended the night with a shy smile and an "Oh, and by the way, you were absolutely beautiful tonight." The sincerity of his tone didn't go unnoticed and you didn't forget to thank him before going separate ways. It was oddly out of character of him to do, but you liked the new side of him you have yet to explore.

The next show, you opted for a bright red designer's gown. This one, fitting to its price tag, created this absolutely stunning silhouette, and while it did not sparkle or glitter, its muted red still create a distinction of you and made you shine. The designed folds in your dress accented your figure even more, and with a looser fabric, the skirt of your dress was made longer so it could trail behind you as you walk. Your hair was gathered up into one straight ponytail, a pretty simple hairdo to gather attention to your striking gown for the night.

Jeonghan didn't recognize you when he first was led to your changing room. You didn't just look like a different person, you feel like one, too. He didn't even realize that he held his breath as he looked at you. The stylist were so proud of their efforts and Jeonghan's reaction had them giggling and teasing him. "She's incredibly beautiful, isn't she?"

He barely managed a "yes" before you could chuckle and said to him, "Well look who's being shy, now."

At this, he returned a laughter of his own. He didn't bother hiding his surprised expression. "You got me. You look incredible."

Your outfit and style of the day, added with your elegance and poise as you conducted yourself in front of the reporters and other celebrities had Jeonghan staring at you for a while, and quite numerous whiles. He absolutely adored you. There was a surging feeling of wholesome pride as he stood beside you, his hand on your back as he escorted you through the venue. Even as he teased you as he answered the reporters' questions, you had retained your poise as you held it within yourself not to be flustered easily by this man. You had a year worth of practice for that.

"Isn't she beautiful? I'm such a fan of hers," Jeonghan whispered to the reporters, his playful grins and chuckles evident as he interacted happily. "She doesn't look like her character now, does she?"

You chuckled along with him, but dragged him to stop him from acting like a fan on the red carpet. He laughed and after a few tries of refusing your urges to move on, eventually let it go and allowed you to pull him forwards. As you moved on, he placed his hand on your back just like how he usually does, as a sign that he was right there walking with you.

The third time though, Jeonghan was speechless. He barely spoke through the course of the night, and his eyes never left you.

You wore a black designer's gown this time, with sequinned patterned Qs coming from your neck down to your knees before the skirt spreads out to hide your silver heels. It was a mermaid gown and it hugged your figure nicely. The skirt was actually more flowy that you thought, but it added a nice touch. You wore silver earrings and diamond hair pieces as you put your hair up in the most elegant updo Jeonghan had ever seen. He was already stunned when he saw you for the first time, but he almost choked when you turned around only for him to realize that your gown was completely backless.

Now, where is he supposed to place his hand again?

His face was flushed and when you turned to finally go out the door, you see his face filled with more red than you've ever seen. While his face was kind of salvaged by the foundation he used, the makeup couldn't help his neck from turning red as well.

"Yoon Jeonghan, are you sick?" you asked aloud, gaining the attention of all staff members present, all their eyes pointed at the man in question. "Or are you actually blushing?"

Your second question snapped him out of his haze (and had many of the stylists and make up artists giggling) as he looked at you for a few seconds, and you were starting to actually worry, before he eventually puts his hand on his forehead, covering his face.

"God, you'll be the death of me. Let's go before I embarrass myself any further."

He was indeed blushing, and his statement confirmed that for you. You laughed, but you can't help but feel you cheeks tinting a little pink from his confession. He linked your arm with his and went out together.

The first few minutes into the red carpet, Jeonghan did his best not to have direct contact with your back. He was blushing the entire time, had to ask the interviewers to repeat themselves a couple of times, and his hand was going to unsure places like your shoulder or your waist, which he was also not confident about, and eventually just lingers a few inches away from your back, like in mid-air. The so-called manner hands.

It wasn't as reassuring as having his hand on your back like the previous times you both had gone through this. His focus was also off as he tried to avoid the contact, and just moved his hand when you moved as well. You sighed and just pulled his hand to slightly slap your back, and you pointed a look at Jeonghan's direction, telling him to stop fidgeting through your eyes.

He blushed.

"Jeonghan, are you not feeling well?" one of the reporters asked.

He seemed to click then and there. His honest self couldn't help himself as he answered, "Oh yeah, she just looks gorgeous tonight, I can't take my eyes off of her."

When he finally comprehended his own words, he fumbled and stuttered. "I-I mean," he tried to reason, but the stars in the reporters' eyes were showing that they heard everything he said, and some of them squealed in delight.

"Why, thank you," you turned to face him, your smile directed for him.

He was stunned - again.

"Oh, let's just go," he said shyly, one of his hands reaching to his neck to feel just how warm he had gotten.

That night, both of you had received a daesang award, but Jeonghan kind of added a few more elements to his acceptance speech.

"Hi, this is Seventeen's Jeonghan. This acting experience was truly incredible and there's so many people who should know that they are the reason for this award. I want to thank Carats, who have always been there for me through thick and thin, and my members who have been watching and supporting me, especially to Joshua who became a cameo, my parents and my family members who had been with me from the very start, the staff members, Pledis, directors, pd-nim, and all the crew members. This is not possible without any of you. And special thanks to," Jeonghan moved his eyes on you, and he didn't know why then and there, your name disappeared from his head and instead replaced with that one line that had caught all the viewers' heart as they watched the drama.

"The love of my life - " he stopped when he realized what he just said, and realized he had kind of just confessed on national TV. "I mean, M-my co-star."

You stood there surprised at how flustered Yoon Jeonghan could be, and stunned that you were the main reason that he was fumbling on the stage and his ears redder than ever. He caught himself before he did anything else and finished his speech nicely.

"Anyways, uh, thank you for this award, I'll work even harder to be a better actor and come back with more for you all. Thankyou!"

It was your turn after him to deliver your speech, and suddenly the trophy on your hands became heavier than it actually was. Jeonghan turned his back to walk back to the spot beside you as you move forward, and you can see a small smile tugging the corners of his lips. When you were brushing against each other before you took the mic, he whispered, just loud for you to hear, and short enough to go unnoticed.

"Yes, that was my confession to you. Will you go out with me?"

All eyes were on you and all lights were on you when you felt like you bit your tongue and couldn't speak.

The MCs were waiting for your speech, and nudged you to start when you seem lost.

"Ah, yes, I mean, no, I mean yes!"

Yoon Jeonghan really knows how to fluster you, even in his most flustering moments.

---

#yoon jeonghan #jeonghan #jeonghan fic #seventeen imagines #fanfiction #fluff #jeonghan fluff #jeonghan scenario #seventeen #svt #seventeen fic

73 notes · View notes

jalapeno-princess · 4 years

Text

Angel of Mine

College Boyfriend Mark X Reader

Genre: FLUFFIEST OF FLUFF, Doting boyfriend Mark that we all deserve

Word Count: 4.5K

Summary: You and your boyfriend Mark are cuddled up in your bed watching a movie when you are reminded that you have an essay due in a couple of hours that you haven’t even started on. Before you can completely break down, your boyfriend comes to your rescue and offers to write your paper for you. It’s in the moments of watching him so focused, typing away at your laptop do you realize how lucky you are to have Mark as a boyfriend.

A/N: Hey guys! So it’s the beginning of midterms here in Hawaii and i’ve already cried seven times I am not kidding you I have two semesters left of college and this is the hardest it’s ever been. I wrote this imagine for shits and giggles; i’ve never had a boyfriend before (HAHAHAHA CRIES IN FILIPINO AND KOREAN) so I wouldn’t know if there are guys out there who are actually like this (If you are, God bless you) (and if your boyfriend is like this, MARRY HIM) I actually watched a tiktok post on instagram right after I finished this where this girl said she was doing her boyfriend’s homework because he was stressed or whatever and if that isn’t couple goals than I don’t know what is (btw I do not condone having someone else do your homework) (especially if you force them to do it because you don’t want to it’s your responsibility and your education, but if they offer...it’s a different story) (LOL) anyways, enough of me blabbering, please enjoy reading while I cry in a corner.

“Remind me how I got myself in this situation again?” Your boyfriend gave you a knowing look and you couldn’t stop yourself from letting out a faint giggle at the sight of his furrowed brows.

“Because you love me.” He playfully rolled his eyes and continued typing away at your computer.

“Yeah, sometimes a little too much. But if I remember correctly, you promised to suck me off once I’m finished writing this damn thing, so don’t think I’m going to forget our agreement babe.”

To say you were a procrastinator would be the understatement of the year. Just a few hours ago, you and Mark were comfortably cuddled up together in bed while you both watched the live action version of Mulan. When your boyfriend excused himself to go use the bathroom, you decided to scroll through your Instagram while waiting.

After looking at a couple of posts from some of your friends and family, you were curious as to what everyone was doing and you found yourself going through some of their stories. Finals were less than two weeks away, so you were used to seeing your friends post pictures of them working their many assignments or studying for exams.

What you weren’t expecting to see was one of your classmate’s working on an essay for your English class that was apparently due in less than four hours. Only then did it hit you; you had yet to write the paper and it was worth 20% of your grade. For weeks, you told yourself you were going to start on it and when it was first assigned over two months ago, you thought you had all the time in the world.

Two months went by quicker than you could even fathom and you were frustrated with yourself for not writing it down on your calendar or completing it earlier. You practically ran over to your laptop and began looking up the rubric to see how your professor wanted you to write your essay and you could feel your heart sink to your stomach as soon as you read the requirements.

Mark was confused when he saw you no longer lying in the bed; the two of you decided to have a lazy day indoors and you’ve only left the bed twice to use the bathroom and to get something to snack on. This past week has been extremely rough on your mind and your body; so when you told Mark you had no intention on doing anything other than laying in bed and watching movies, he knew to trust your words.

“Baby, what are you doing?”

Your flustered expression only made him even more curious as to what could have happened in the few minutes he was in the bathroom for. You bit your bottom lip in frustration; knowing how Mark could be whenever it came to your education, you were afraid he was going to be upset once he found out you had only a few hours to write your essay. Since you were too much in shock to respond to him, he took matters in to his own hands and looked at your computer screen.

“Wait—I remember you mentioning this essay a couple of weeks ago—eight pages?! Six educational sources—and it’s due by 11:59 P.M. tonight—y/n what the hell?!”

This wasn’t the first time you waited till right before your assignment was due to start working on it. Matter a fact, most of your important assignments; research papers, group projects, essays and online tests were completed on the day they were due. Sometimes it was on purpose; you felt as if some of your best work were the ones you’d work on right before you were supposed to turn it in. You knew it had a lot to do with the fact that you felt pressured to do better knowing you had a time limit; but most of the time you were just lazy and didn’t want to do any work at all.

You and Mark knew about each and every single thing there is to know about one another. He knew of each and every beauty mark on your body and where it was located, he memorized all your aunt’s, uncle’s and cousin’s names, he knew the exact shade of blue that you claimed was your favorite color and he knew how you liked your tea in the morning.

The only thing he had no control over, was the way you handled your education. Mark thought the entire world of you; he believed you were the most hardworking, courageous, determined, generous and golden-hearted person he had the amazing pleasure of knowing. And he wasn’t being biased because you were his girlfriend, but you were the most beautiful girl he’s ever seen before. In his eyes, you were flawless; you could do no wrong—well; the only problem Mark really had whenever it came to you was the fact that you didn’t know how to prioritize your responsibilities.

After what happened to you right around the time you were introduced to one another, Mark would’ve thought that your mindset and outlook on how you managed everything going on in your life would change. He knew you were capable of great things; when you put your mind to it, you could finish any task that you were given and you were great with multitasking. Mark saw how much time, persistence and effort you would put in to your job or whenever you’d lend a hand to anyone who needed assistance; he admired your work ethic and how passionate you could get when it came to the people and things that you loved.

It was just harder for you to put time in to your essays, journals, blogs or reading the books your professors would assign. School was never something you ever really cared for; it wasn’t like you were really learning anything anyway. For years, you tried your best in being good at all subjects. You’d stay up studying for hours on end only to not retain any information that you learned and it wasn’t entirely your fault. The educational system was just fucked. In this generation, it isn’t even about learning anything; the main focus is turning in assignments on time.

The professors could give less of a shit whether or not you understand any of the material being taught. During your relationship, Mark tried his best to motivate you and even bribed you with food and kisses. He even offered to make flashcards for you if that meant you’d have an easier time studying, but nothing ever worked.

As much as he wanted you to be successful with your education, especially because he genuinely loved attending school, he knew not to force anything on you and making matters worse. This time was different though; this class was one you were already having a hard time with and this essay in particular would determine whether or not you pass or fail by the end of the semester. Your boyfriend tried his best to hide his disappointment, but it was only natural for him to be upset. Attending college was not cheap at all.

He was completely aware of the thousands of dollars you had to fund on your own because your parents weren’t able to help you financially as much as they wish they could. Since he was extremely supportive of you and each and every single one of your endeavors, he even helped pay for quite a bit of your tuition which you haven’t completely forgave him for, but you both showed him and told him on a daily basis how grateful you were that he did such a thing; and that he never fails to take care of you in ways you didn’t think you deserved.

A part of him wanted to continue his poor attempt at scolding you, but as soon as he saw tears building up at the brim of your eyelids, all his anger and frustration dissipated. If there was anything Mark hated, it was seeing you cry. The reason behind your tears didn’t matter; it just broke his heart knowing you were sad and right now, he pushed the idea of your procrastination to the back of his mind. He motioned for you to stand up and kissed both your cheeks to get rid of any trace of tears. Then, he pulled you in to his embrace and placed his chin on the top of your head before he comfortingly ran his hands up and down your back.

“I’m so sorry Mark—I’m sure you’re upset with me and you have every right to be—I’m so stupid—“ if this were under different circumstances, the cheeky pinch on your butt would’ve earned your boyfriend a punch to the shoulder, but you knew this was his way to stop you from degrading yourself. Before you could ever say anything negative about yourself, Mark would try and divert your attention away from bad mouthing yourself.

Although you and Mark were together for three years now and you knew he was the man you planned on spending the rest of your life with, there was an annoying voice in your head that would remind you almost every single day that you didn’t deserve him. He’s sacrificed so much for you and you knew it was because he loved you; but you never understood why. You weren’t anything special; sure, you loved him with every fiber of your being and you knew he was well aware of that. Yet, you knew he deserved so much more but there was no way you’d ever be able to let him go. Not when he was the one who saved your life all those years ago. The only person who meant anything to you.

As much as you loved your family and your friends, nobody could ever compare or mean as much to you. Nobody could ever be as important as Mark was. He was the only person you were sure you would die from heartbreak if you were to lose him. It was selfish of you to continue dragging him down with you and your toxic ways, but you needed Mark; you’d be nothing without him. He was your own personal guardian angel sent to change your life entirely for the better. He was the only good thing going for you and with the way he treated you as if you were the most fragile and rarest jewel in the world, you knew he wasn’t going anywhere.

“You’re not stupid baby—a little irresponsible and careless, but not at all stupid. Hmph, I’ll tell you what, seeing as how I’m better when it comes to writing essays, let me handle it this time.”

“No, there’s no way in hell I’m going to let you do this assignment for me Mark, I’d rather take the F—“ the soft kiss he placed on the corner of your lips made it aware that Mark meant business. Whenever he’d say something, he meant it. However, you refused to allow him to work on something you kept pushing back for months. Your essay was your full responsibility and it wouldn’t be fair for your boyfriend to have to write something he didn’t benefit from in such a small amount of time. God, he really did love you.

“The more time you spend trying to talk me out of helping you when I already made my mind up, the less time I’ll have to work on this paper. I don’t want you stressing over this; you’re already so worn-out as it is. This’ll be a piece of cake babe—you just sit on the bed and look pretty while I get started.”

Mark had to be a figment of your imagination. There was no way someone as thoughtful, kind-hearted, selfless and caring as him could exist. Most people would groan at the idea of having to do more work and if it were anyone else, you were sure you would’ve gotten a completely different reaction. You were quick to pull him in to a tight hug and left multiple chaste kisses all across of his face.

“I love you—more than I can ever fathom in to words Mark Tuan. You don’t understand how much this means to me—I’ll do anything you ask of me. Ugh, I will never get over how amazing you are and I could never thank you enough for all that you do for me.” He cupped your cheek and placed a wet kiss on your jaw.

“Anything huh? Maybe you could do some loads of my laundry, but that’s pretty much it—oh. I um—maybe you could—ah never mind.” You looked at him in curiosity and giggled when you saw the apples of his cheeks grow pink with embarrassment. Whatever he was probably referring to had to be something he was shy about. Your boyfriend was the definition of an introvert and he had a hard time asking people questions or even favors; this sometimes also included you. If you wanted to know what was on his mind, you’d have to pry it out of him.

“What is it babe?” He gave you the most adorable shrug and nibbled on his bottom lip as he began to look everywhere around the room but at you.

“Don’t feel as if you have to do this for me, I really don’t expect anything from you, but I wouldn’t mind a blow job if you’re up for it later.” One thing you loved the most about Mark, was how gentle and awkward he would get whenever it came to initiating sex or insinuating that he wanted a sexual favor from you. It was cute, yet it also turned you on for some reason. Maybe it was because he’d act totally innocent and submissive since he never wanted you to feel uncomfortable and he preferred to take things at your pace; but once the two of you actually made love, his attitude would take a 360 degree turn.

Sex with Mark was your favorite past time; he could get very naughty and rough in bed, but he could also take things slow and sensually. It really depended on the mood, but your boyfriend was an extremely generous and passionate lover. He knew what you liked, what positions you enjoyed the most, how to lick, bite and suck on all your sensitive body parts in order to elicit any kind of needy reaction out of you. It really boggled your mind that someone like Mark—someone so perfect without a flaw at all actually existed and what was harder to believe was that you were the lucky girl who was extremely blessed to call him yours.

That was something you would never take for granted; nor did you think you would ever get used to having him in your life. You seductively made your way on to his lap and began leaving sloppy kisses against his nape. This beautiful man sitting in front of you was willing to do your homework in order to prevent you from having a mental breakdown. He was willing to sacrifice his time to work on an assignment that wasn’t his responsibility to take care of just so that you didn’t have to suffer. Honestly, what world war did you fight and win in your past life to be the one that receives Mark’s love every single day? Whatever it is that you did to be able to call Mark your boyfriend, you would do it again and again if it meant having him in each and every single lifetime.

“Fuck—babe—as good as that feels, I only have three hours—y/n—you know, I’m actually thinking about taking you on your offer—just settle for the F and I’ll get settled in between your pretty thighs—“ you couldn’t help but stifle back a giggle once you heard the soft whine fall from his lips after you got up from off his lap, but he was right. He was already doing your homework for you, the least you could do was sit on the side and prevent yourself from bothering him.

“Oh yeah—you’re definitely taking me down your throat as soon as I turn in this paper. Now do as I said and sit down on the bed. Your presence alone is such a distraction and fuck—I’ve been hard since this morning when you walked out in my shirt. Damnit y/n—I really want to have my way with you right now. Please use this experience for future reference. I can’t believe I’m being cockblocked by a research paper of all things.”

You watched as Mark quickly skimmed through the rubric; you knew your boyfriend wanted to make sure he understood the material before typing out a bunch of nonsense. The last thing he needed was to spend all this time and effort looking for resources, citing them and looking for both spelling and grammatical errors only to earn you a bad grade. If Mark wasn’t there and you just so happened to find out about the essay, you wouldn’t have even attempted to write anything.

Your mindset in college was that if it seemed impossible, you would just give up on it entirely. Mark’s mindset however, was more realistic and you wished you had the motivation and enthusiasm that seemed to live in his bloodstream. Watching him so focused as he typed away like nothing was such an inspiring sight. English was one of your boyfriend’s favorite subjects; he loved reading all kinds of books—from murder mystery to comics and romance novels, Mark always preferred reading over watching a movie or television shows.

But, if there was anything he enjoyed more than reading, it was writing. Normally, the day his professor would assign him an essay, proposal, research paper or journal entry was the same day he would complete it and turn it it. There had to be something wrong with him. What person in their right mind genuinely enjoyed writing thousands of words, making sure there weren’t any errors and that the paper in its entirety actually made sense? You knew not to bother him, but you couldn’t help staring at him in all his handsome glory. His brows were furrowed and he began biting his lip in concentration; you didn’t think it was possible for someone to look like a model straight from an ad or a magazine while typing out an English paper.

“Can I get you something to eat or drink babe?” He quickly shook his head in disagreement without even looking up—he was too focused in whatever it was he could be typing.

“I think I need a couple of kisses though, you know—to help me reenergize.” You playfully rolled your eyes at his cheeky request before getting up and placing a few soft kisses against his mouth.

“So how’s it coming out?” He scrunched his nose before giving you a slight shrug.

“If I’m being honest, this probably isn’t my best work, but I’m sure it’s fine. I’m almost done by the way—so I’ll have you look it over to make sure it’s to your liking and then you can turn it in. Maybe you should start preparing your gratuity and tie your hair up. Might as well take your pants off while you’re at it—ow! I’d be careful if I were you baby. I might just replace your name with mine and confuse the shit out of your professor—yeah, that’s what I thought. Now, be a good girl and return back to bed.”

As much as you wanted to continue messing around with him; only because you were enjoying how demanding he would get when he was under stress, you knew better than to distract him. You decided to find something else to occupy yourself with as Mark returned to typing profusely at your laptop. It was extremely fascinating how he didn’t even take a second to think about what to write. The words seemed to just flow out of his brain like it was the easiest thing in the world and you were growing envious of his ability to come out with such quality and detailed work in such a small amount of time.

Around twenty minutes later, Mark let out a sigh of relief and brought his hands behind his back—a sign that he was finally finished. He motioned for you to walk over to your desk and had you sit on his lap. Out of habit, he snaked his arms around your waist and placed his chin on your shoulder; wanting to be as close to you as possible.

“Ten pages, twelve sources and it’s only 9:15. Tell me what you think baby.”

Right as you finished reading just the first paragraph alone, you were at a loss for words. Even if you were to start writing this paper when you first received the assignment from your professor, you were sure nothing you could write would be at least half as amazing as this paper was. It wasn’t repetitive—nor did he use nonsense words or anything you were sure you probably would have added in. He put all his sources in alphabetical order and inserted page numbers at the bottom of each page.

You could see why Mark’s previous English professor had asked him on multiple occasions to be her TA. The word brilliant wasn’t even enough to describe the kind of student Mark was. For someone who never really cared about reading English papers; whether it was an assignment for class, or when you had to give constructive criticism on one of your fellow classmate’s work, you would always skim through their essays—but you found yourself reading each and every single word Mark had typed out. His essay had you hooked; it was one of those writings that you were sure anyone would actually enjoy having to read. How was he able to finish all of that so quickly? By the end of it, you were in tears and you didn’t even realize you were crying until you felt Mark giggle in to your neck.

“Why are you crying Bub? I don’t think what I’ve written is at all that depressing. I literally wrote about biodegradation and how to save the earth—“

You didn’t give him any chance to continue his explanation as you roughly smashed your lips against his. Mark did so many things for you on a daily basis. He didn’t have to say he loved you for you to know that he did—his actions spoke for him. Knowing how most guys could be, you were sure no boyfriend would waste his time completing an assignment, especially one so time consuming needed all your knowledge and effort—for his girlfriend.

College was rough on everyone; so to take on something you thought was extremely difficult in order to prevent you from stressing out more than you already were—it made tears fall from the brim of your eyelids. You continued your ministrations, licking his lips and bringing both the bottom and the top in between your teeth before sucking on his tongue. Feeling him hum in to your mouth sent warmth to your core. In your relationship, you were the more extroverted and talkative one. You could go on and on about any subject you were passionate about.

However, just like Mark; you were more about actions than words—mainly because you felt like there weren’t enough words in the English dictionary to actually form sentences that would describe just how much you loved Mark wholeheartedly and exactly what he meant to you. When you felt his excitement press up against your ass, you knew what was right about to happen; but you wanted him to know verbally how grateful you were for him before showing him physically.

“Fuck—how did you—what kind of drug are you on Mark? That was one of the best essays I’ve ever read. There’s no way my professor is going to believe I wrote that. This is honors worthy—you’re—I can’t even find a word good enough to describe you. Otherworldly? Wonderful? Perfect? I love you so much Mark. Fuck, do I love you. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I don’t know what I did to have you in my life, but I would do it again and again to have you forever. I know you hate when I say this, but it’s the truth baby—I really don’t deserve you. Thank you, not just for typing this essay—fuck I still can’t even process this entire situation you need to sign up for scholarships or some shit you are so fucking intelligent and such a hardworking student. But—thank you for loving me. You really are the best thing that has ever happened to me and I am forever grateful for whoever it was that decided to bless me with you as my soulmate. I love you Mark Tuan.” His wide grin and the way he looked at you so adoringly made your heart melt.

“I’d do anything for you—you know that baby. It’s just—seeing you so distressed—so frustrated and unhappy with school, watching you overwork yourself to the bone—it fucking sucks. Especially when I see you beating yourself up over grades you have no control over. I know you try your best in every single thing that you do and I know that it’s easy to forget some important things and fall behind, but I will always be there to catch you—and to assure you that everything is going to be okay. You’re my person y/n—it’s my life duty to take care of you. However—don’t get used to this baby, as much as I love you—trust me—I love you with every breath I take and with every beat of my heart—but shit, that was rough. Oh—and I never want to hear you say you don’t deserve me ever again. You take care of me just as much as I take care of you. It’s a team effort babe. Now, with that being said, you caused a big problem in my pants over half an hour ago and I think it’s time that you solved it.”

#got7 imagines #mark tuan #got7 #mark tuan imagines #got7 mark

73 notes · View notes

mauserfrau · 3 years

Text

Sepulchre - Conclusion

Events leading up to and immediately after the birth of the Calypso Twins: a love story and a story about Leda and Typhon, though I wouldn’t call it a love story about Leda and Typhon. Inspired by “Tlön, Uqbar, Orbis Tertius”, Bianca by Guido Crepax and those “naughty” fairy tale anthologies from the 90’s.

...you know, I set out to write 5k of reference backstory. Oops.

If that was your jam, I do have a story about Troy's childhood and a story about Tyreen's childhood which do fall under 5k, plus, you know, a whole AU hanging out on AO3.

I also put the author's note under the cut. Thanks for reading, everyone!

So, that’s my headcanon post.

Otherwise known as “Sepulchre”. It’s also another grimy Borderlands fic. It was inspired by “Tlön, Uqbar, Orbis Tertius”, Bianca by Guido Crepax and those books of “sexy” fairytale retellings they used to print in the 90s. It was motivated by the fact I got myself into this situation where I couldn’t go any further forward in Grimeverse without solidifying some of the lore. Or, as I put it to a friend “meat tenderized the lore in”.

I hate lore. Can’t I just tell a damn story? I am, fundamentally, always in it for the story first. Then making people cry and/or throw things. You may ask what the hell I’m doing in Calypso-based Blands fandom if I hate making up lore, and the answer is, extreme LSS, lol oops. But I’m not just making the best of it. I’m having a great time and have met a lot of wonderful people. So many wonderful people, I’ve chosen to thank all of them personally rather than run this author’s note into quadruple digits. You are all lovely people. Thank you so much for all you do: reading, writing, commenting, cracking jokes and helping my old ass learn to draw. I painted wisteria, you guys. Wisteria! It was awful.

Anyway, “Sepulchre” is made of equal parts of things I’ve always known are true for this AU, things I had to decide while I was working and things I had no reason not to make true. It grew out from the scene of Typhon finding the twins still alive after he’d left them to die of exposure.

Yes, that’s been a fact this entire time. No, the twins don’t know and they’ll probably never find out. Leda never knew in the same way Typhon will never learn the twins aren’t his.

Things That Were Always True: Typhon’s ability to find Vaults being based on a streak of Teela Brown-esque luck, the thing with Sirens having people drawn to them, Sirens being subspace entities from another dimension, Tyreen having been born with exomphalos. Actually, if you squint, that last one is implied in Satellite.

Things I Had To Decide: the Rosette orbit since the timeline for settling Pandora felt like it was on fast forward up close, just how morally gray Leda happened to be, the details of Typhon’s lousy childhood + realizing I was going to have to be at least a little sympathetic towards him in spite of everything (dammit he ended up being fun to write), the whole thing about the poppies, the thing that Typhon apparently has some sort of reproductive issue, the kennings and Aspects for the other Sirens.

Things I Had No Reason Not To Do:

Mauser_Frau: unless it would make you happy that Ty is her own other parent 'cause it costs $0.00 for me to mention that little Tyreen looks eerily like her and then Troy's what Leda would be like as a boy so basically Typhon wasn't involved and that's par weird for me XD

WAD was here: Ummm...is it weird that I want the Yuri thing to be your canon? XDDD Please make that the canon, that's badass! Also HAHAHAHA FUUUUUUCK YOU TRASH MAN!

WAD was also responsible for the Eridium cravings. More to the point, I went ahead and did that. And it wasn’t a hallucination or altered state. It just was and now I know somebody who OTPs them. Sweet.

Once again, thank you for reading. If you’ve got an inclination, please do let me know your favorite part. I’ll see you next time.

Because there are next times. Look what all of your enthusiasm has wrought.

Besides the wisteria, I mean.

#fanfic #fanfiction #borderlands 3 #bl3 #leda calypso #typhon deleon #ersatz siren lore #medical content #calypso twins backstory #now with a surreal discussion of personhood #and that's all folks #oh and i drew the splash image

7 notes · View notes

shinymooncolor · 4 years

Text

Hi 💖💖

@lumosinlove is amazing. Sweater Weather is amazing. This chat and this blog and Olli and me love you all and we’re proud allies and everyone deserves to be happy and be themselves.

Here’s a little, short chat for you all. @frombeauxbatons helped me with a lot of ideas for this one 😍

I know this might not be totally realistic but. Heck, it’s fiction. 💜🖤🤍

Tried something new. So - the last part is a live interview during broadcast. All comments and thoughts and criticism welcome 😇 if you like it, I’ve got another chat for that...

So, sweater weather chat #13

Finn has a vision. And no one understands him. Sergei yells. Dumo and Sunny are pranksters. Kuny wants more lions. Olli is a good boy. The girls are proud of their boys. So much glitter.

—

Saturday 9.22 pm

Prongstar: sooo. Finn just got kicked out from the Arena by Alice. Hahahahah poor baby. He’s almost crying.

Siriusly: what happened?

DumoDad: apparently Finn’s vision was not welcomed by Alice and her team. 😂

CarbO’Hara: THEY HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THEY ARE DOING. I AM AN ARTIST AND THEY ARE SILENCING MY GENIUS

CarbO’hara: she’s mean. I was just giving some constructive criticism. 😣

Newt-leo: I’ve decorated a room with you. I have to side with Alice on this one.

Ollibear: you made one of the interns cry Finn. 🥺

CarO’Hara: HOW HARD IS IT. Certain colours match. Some don’t. It’s just stupid. I could’ve decorated that arena and the locker room way better.

Nadotheman: You’re not decorating my stall. Alice promised we could each decorate our own. Don’t you try and go pridezilla on us now.

Logantremblayzzz: leave us out. Finn is a nightmare when it comes to aestethics… you’d think he was a goalie…

Blizzard: HEY

Newt-leo: HEY

Sunnysideup: ohhh someone is on the couch tonight 😜😜😜😜

Sergei_81: I decorate my stall. Stay away.

RussianGod: I want more lions. I only got little lion. 😳

Siriusly: I get most lions. I’m captain.

Timmyforrealz: OLLI HAS 8 LIONS?!?!?!?

Ollibear: don’t you dare touch them. I will make you regret it

Nadotheman: how come you get 8???? She said there was only a certain amount

Siriusly: because no one can not crumble when Olli turns on the puppy eyes. Also everyone in the front office loves him. He never causes trouble, rarely fights and he’s just a good boy.

Ollibear: you know I’m older than you right?

DumoDad: you’re still a good boy, Olli!

Ollibear: this is weird. But I’ll take the praise.

—

Sunday 8.22 am

Blizzard: SERGEI IS YELLING AT KUNY IN THE LOCKER ROOM!!!!!

Prongstar: be right there

Siriusly: I don’t understand russian. But it sounds bad @sunnysideup

Talkiewalkie: why is his hair blue?

Blizzard: all I gathered was something something prank something something castrate something something blue

TalkieWalkie: ohhhh. Apparently someone put blue dye in Sergei’s shampoo… Oh this is fucking golden. Who came up with that 😍

Ollibear: why is he yelling at Kuny about it?

Sunnysideup: he thinks Kuny did it, Kuny claims he was framed… OH that was something about mothers. Ouch

Timmyforrealz: russian is so much cooler when cursing people 😉

Nadotheman: the blue suits him though. Makes him look younger

Newt-leo: you’d think Kuny would try to hide behind someone bigger?

Blizzard: No it’s a lot funnier this way. Poor Logan to be caught in the middle of it though 🙈

CarbO’Hara: I like how our resident gigantic enforcer is using Logan as a human shield.

Ollibear: you’re not going to rescue him? Not very chivalrous

Newt-leo: he can handle himself. Also it’s funny to see Kuny trying to hide behind him…

Blizzard: Who did come up with it? @prongstar?

Prongstar: shit I don’t have the balls to prank Sergei… Have you seen his uppercuts?

DumoDad: @sunnysideup?

Sunnysideup: 😇😇😇😇 hehehehe hehehehe ask dumo....

Nadotheman: should I rescue kuny? He’s my ride today after all. Dolores is at the car doctor. And we’re raising a cat together

LeWilliam: maybe someone distract Sergei… I’m scared…

DumoDad: Olli can do it. He loves Olli.

Ollibear: cowards. And of course he loves me. I’m the only sane one on this team.

——

Sunday 9.53 am

NatALLY: OH MY GOD!!! LOOK AT ALL THESE RAINBOWS

GingerLily: I love it! It’s adorable. Also, have you seen Finn, Logan and Leo’s jerseys?

Anyaismyname: that is cute.

Celeste: Anya… Is Sergei’s hair blue?

Linnea: yes it is. Because my idiot husband thought it was funny. And apparently he framed some of the younger boys…….

Celeste: why do I have a feeling Pascal is part of this?

Linnea: because we can’t leave them alone for 5 minutes?

Anyaismyname: they asked me to help. I helped. ;)

NatALLY: I love that! Hahaha

Linnea: what does the color on olli’s stick mean? 😌

NatALLY: hmm black, grey, white and purple. ITS ACE!!! So brave!!! 💜🖤🤍

Celeste: I love how they’re all wearing some sort of flag or colors. Proud of our boys!

GingerLily: so brave - James even bought Harry a little rainbow onesie. 🏳️‍🌈😍

Anyaismyname: we did good my lovelies 💖

NatALLY: I can’t all the glitter. Ohhh kase is not gonna be happy if that gets in his hair

GingerLily: I’m not going to tell him that James’ put glitter in his hat then.

NatALLY: please don’t 😂😂 Hahahaha

——

Sunday 10.00 am

“We’re live from Hogwarts where the Gryffindor lions are hosting a charity family skate event for lgbt+ mental health organizations. Remember to tweet, text or dm us with your questions during the broadcast and I’ll do my best to get replies from the players.”

“Joining me for a quick interview is fan favorite Thomas Walker”

“Walker, you’re wearing a rainbow jersey and is that glitter?”

“Ha yeah man! Proud ally here!!! And yeah somehow O’Hara and Nado got their hands on a box of body glitter and lemme tell ya, the locker room sparkles”

“That sounds fun. Is that the case for Ivanov’s hair too? Or is that a statement we’ve missed?”

“Ask him. Snitches get stitches eh?”

“Thanks Walker and as he’s skating away, we have Jackson Nadeau joining us. Also sporting the custom lions rainbow jersey and glitter, a lot of glitter”

“What’s wrong with glitter? I’m casual enough with myself to wear glitter”

“I’m sure you are - how’re you both feeling with this event?”

“Supporting our captain and close friends and anyone else who’ve been told they don’t belong. Lions are for all!”

“You feel strongly about this, Jackson, I didn’t mean any harm. Have there been reactions yet?”

“It’s hockey, what do you think? Lots of dicks out there but also a lot of guys who just wants to play and doesn’t care. You guys are making a fuss. Not us”

“I can ensure that the quibbler has no qualms with your captain or anything. We’re proud allies as well - which is why we’re covering this”

“Yeah thanks for that!”

“Seems like you’re having fun out there - is everyone participating today?

“ yeah uhm, I think, i mean, Kane is on IR with his elbow but he’s skating today. Not playing I think. Front office got us some cool stuff. I know I’m rocking this rainbow look. Some guys chose to wear other stuff which is cool too... kuny got glitter in his eye and is wearing a weird hat”

“I’m think you jealous”

“Haha! hello there Evgeni! How’re you enjoying today?”

“I’m have fun. Is good to. Uhm”

“Support?”

“Yeah support”

“Haha he wouldn’t survive a day without me”

“Well I’ve been following your Instagram recently - how’s your cat?”

“Princess is best cat”

“She’s good! Wanted to bring her but she’s at home with the sitter”

.... to be continued....

#lumosinlove #lumosinlove ocs #sweaterweather #sweaterweatherchats #sweater weather #sweaterweatheroc’s #sweaterweatherchatsnr13

55 notes · View notes

unsettledink · 4 years

Text

long vent about mental health care frustrations below the cut

I've been trying to get to a pysch to get my meds changed since I moved here a year ago. After several tries, the last one basically being like 'fill out all this paperwork first and then we'll talk about possible appointments', and all the paperwork was like 17 pages long and wanted all this insurance information that I didn't understand. I tried for a few days and then gave up, because that's real easy to do when you have mental issues you NEED TO SEE SOMEONE FOR OMG.

Waited four months. Went to the doctor for something else and mentioned that I'd gotten nowhere. They said they could set me up with some sort of patient advocate that could help with it. !! I let myself get hopeful.

Of course it's only by phone. That's not good. I miss the first call, and then... panic and don't answer the second. Partly because I just don't answer my number for unknown calls, but I knew they were going to call me. I spend the next week and a half spiraling every day about 'ok I'm going to make that call now!'. Spoiler: I did not.

Finally make the call... and get voicemail. HAHA. Spend the whole day anxious and checking my phone every five seconds. No call. They call today, during work, and just...

The problem for me is not finding a place. It's not going to appts, it's not figuring out what I need. The problem is phone calls and filling out paperwork. Those are the things I need help with. Those are things I apparently can't get help with.

They recommended a place, for therapy – look, I told them, I'm not going to be able to afford therapy beyond the intake, I need a pych for meds. Do they do that because a lot don't. They tell me the place will send me paperwork after I call them. Great, so I have to call them (nightmare), fill out paperwork (ahhhhh) and then call them again (NOPE). So that's... probably three months down the road.

I feel hopeless, but I made myself say, hey, the paperwork is where I broke down last time. It was so many pages and I couldn't answer things and I gave up. They say this place doesn't have terrible paperwork, but if there's a problem call them back (hahahaha...) I already feel pretty defeated because I wasn't given any 'help' that was what I needed or asked for, just the exact things I could actually do for myself.

Fine. Fine, I go check the site. It looks... familiar. What's that? Is it the last place I tried with the paperwork issue? Why yes it is. Oh no, I exaggerated for effect, their intake isn't 17 pages, it's 13. SO much better.

I have options:

1) I can attempt to struggle through the paperwork again, call the insurance company and stay on hold for an hour and not get any answers, and then call for an appointment a month later because phones.

2) I can call (FFS) the 'advocate' back and tell them, the paperwork you clearly think is super easy is causing me to meltdown, because I am the most pathetic person on earth. Expose myself as even more of a disaster and probably still not get help because they can't/won't provide what I need.

3) give up.

One guess what's most likely to happen.

So that's why I spent twenty minutes crying on my lunch break today. If anyone was under some illusion that I am a person with things together. I barely manage human half the time.

8 notes · View notes

pinkysfaultorbrainsfault · 4 years

Text

pinky and the brain - s1e2: of mouse and man

episode summary: brain needs money to build a perpetual answering machine to occupy everyone in the world for long enough for him to take over. to do that, he needs an absurd amount of money, so he decides to get a job in an office!

and then fake a nondairy creamer accident that turned him into a mouse, because as we all know, brain has to take the most dramatic path he possibly can in life, or he dies.

the rundown:

we open with pinky showing off his ass.

PRODUCED BY PETER HASTINGS. i assume that means the episode, and not the ass. the ass was initially produced by pinky’s parents and then helped along by the warner brothers’ dietary experts for their. mouse actors.

brain isn’t feeling it right now.

instead, as he plucks a rib from the lab’s anatomical model of a human being, and uses it to unpick his cage, he angsts - WRITTEN BY PETER HASTINGS - he angsts over the Dark Side Of Man, that has built war machines and pollution spilling factories and

VOICEMAIL.

😱

as pinky continues to stick his ass out (though onlyfans wouldn’t be launched for another twenty one years) brain runs through his latest plan, which, of course, involves voicemail.

look at those wiggles. this is a rough draft episode.

anyway brain intends to reroute all telephone conversations into his confusing, recursive, voicemail service that, he claims, will keep the human race occupied for “at least seventy two hours.”

“more than enough time for a well prepared mouse to seize control of the planet.”

“i see! so all we need now is a well prepared mouse.”

I???????

HOLY FUCK

brain is unhappy. i am not surprised.

“i am a well prepared mouse, pinky.”

“oh. well. there you are, then.”

unfortunately this plan comes with the pitfall that it will cost.... one million, six hundred and fourteen thousand dollars. which is a lot of money, or, as pinky puts it, “a lot of money!”

as brain wonders about how to raise these funds (”without running for congress”) pinky pinkys off to watch some tv.

HAVE YOU BEEN INJURED IN AN ON THE JOB ACCIDENT

YOU MAY BE ENTITLED TO HUNDREDS, THOUSANDS, EVEN ONE MILLION SIX HUNDRED AND FOURTEEN THOUSAND DOLLARS IN COMPENSATION

LENNY PARVIK GOT ME TWO HUNDRED AND ELEVEN DOLLARS

EVEN THOUGH I’M NOW NINETY PERCENT FUDGE, IT’S OKAY BECAUSE LENNY PARVIK GOT ME ONE HUNDRED AND FOURTY TWO DOLLARS SIXTEEN CENTS AND SOME CHANGE

<LOUD, INCREDIBLY DISTRESSED CRYING>

hm.

“pinky, are you pondering what i’m pondering?“

“i think so, brain, but i get all clammy inside a tent.”

anyway so brain’s new plan is to get a job, stage a

HIDEOUS ACCIDENT

and then sue them for one million, six hundred and fourteen thousand dollars in workers compensation.

this episode also has a lot of faces. god, but these mice are so bloody cute. youtube has not yet been invented, but one day it will be, and all brain has to do is sit in front of a camera and nom some corn and go O:O with his face, and everyone will be crying over him within minutes.

it’s so sad that he doesn’t know that.

but for now, he has a job interview to go to. good luck, brain! can’t be any worse than that time allsaints forgot about me and the manager acted like it was my fault.

“impressive credentials. you’re certainly qualified. are you married?”

“oh, yes, i have a lovely wife and two beautiful young children.”

“oh that’s too bad. we’re looking for someone who has no life. thank you.”

as family man walks off, dejected, in comes a completely unsuspicious fellow looking for an honest living honest living, just like in rent the musical.

his arm is acting up, a bit, but it’s fine.

“very impressive resume. princeton, harvard, six years in the industry-- tell me, mr brain, what are your long term career goals?”

“i plan on taking over the world.”

“you have drive! i like that! but confidentially, taking over the world is my job, hahahaha.”

”yes. haha. ha.”

”now. brass tax - are you married?”

“i do have a roommate. but he’s very busy with his own activities.”

HA HA HOO HOO HOO

<muah>

HAHA

“but. one more thing. about your head. isn’t it rather small?”

“no. not for my race.”

“no! no, of course not-- and your people are such... good... cooks... with their tiny heads, uh. please. excuse me for one second.”

“carol! send everyone else home! i got myself a minority person!”

BRUH I?!??!?!?!?!

anyway. brain gets the job.

“mr brain! welcome to the world of re-reinsurance!”

he’s delighted.

back at the labs, he plots his untimely demise at the hands of re-reinsurance,

stating the accident “could be bluffed by altering the mollecular matrix through a substrate platform of microwaves.”

pinky’s response to this is “look brain, i made a choo-choo.”

“oh, and me without my video camera!”

in simpler terms, he explains to pinky that he will stage an accident, “utilising the microwave oven and the non-dairy powdered creamer.”

“because”, to pinky’s apparent horror, “nobody really knows how a microwave works.”

“but why the powdered creamer, brain?”

“nobody knows how that works either.”

(and then, i guess, there’s a scene where some guys jump him on the train for some reason,

i’m only putting it here because this guy is like “oh, you’re funny, you’re a regular gallagher”

and brain’s like “you think gallagher is funny?”

anyway then he ties the dude into a pretzel and throws him off the train.

bonk. it adds nothing, but it’s very funny.)

“this is your cubicle right here. if you need any office supplies, ask the office manager and she should have them over in two or three months.”

it’s brain’s first day at work! his boss reads him the company policy on

vacations, personal phone calls,

and sexual harassment.

“don’t worry about it. you’re safe if you avoid all contact with other humans.”

“my goal in life.”

as brain unpacks the things that pinky has packed for his “home away from home,

awwwww.

his nosy cubicle neighbour inquires about brain’s “pet mouse,”

elaborating that he keeps mice! haha! to feed to his pet snake!

to be fair this is also me around snake people. more understandable in brain’s case, being that he is, actually, a mouse, and i am a human person who may be slightly obsessed with tiney small flofys.

;u;

(they play tennis on their lunch break and brain sets him on fire, so it’s not too bad.)

upon his return from the office, pinky, who has dolled himself up to the nines, presents brain with a Yummy Dinner of Food Pellets With Food Pellets.

i will say i think it’s really cute how this show keeps pushing the narrative that pinky just really, really wants to be an old timey housewife. he just spends his time watching i love lucy (when Fish TV isn’t on) and stuff like that and he’s just obsessed with the idea of dusting something alluringly but ineffectively and making brain little dinners.

and it’s so fucking cute!!! what??? it’s adorable. as soon as they get the world pinky better get a little dollhouse kitchen room with lime green everything and a functioning oven.

“please, pinky. i’ve had a very tough day.”

“oh, you have? you’ve had a tough day?”

“what about my day, brain? we always hear about your day, but what about mine?!”

“DO YOU EVER ASK WHAT I DID TODAY???!”

“very well pinky. what did you do today?”

“i don’t remember.”

“anything?”

“not a thing.”

“well, now i know how american gladiator stays on the air.”

the next day, at work, brain is vexed by the fact that nobody has refilled the coffee machine.

“sorry. that’s my fault. hey, you’re cute.”

“you know what they say. big ears. big earmuffs.”

.....okay.

unfortunately brain’s mechanical arm chooses now to malfunction.

she’s into it?

brain maintains that it was a mistake, and he doesn’t find her attractive at all, because brain knows how to talk to women.

she is no longer into it.

horrified by his semi-accidental fuckboy behaviour, brain heads out as quickly as he can, only to be immediately called into his boss’ office.

despite brain’s claims that “the young lady appears to have misunderstood me,” which i’m sure will hold up well on twitter,

mr boss man reveals that he has done some fact checking, and there is no record of brain attending harvard or princeton.

“oh.”

he is given the ultimatum that he either produce his diplomas, or HIS CAREER IN RE-REINSURANCE IS OH OH OVER!!!

very sad!

looks like it’s time to stage a workplace related accident.

he pours the creamer everywhere, discards his suit, and runs up to plonk himself merrily into the pile.

ahem.

HELP, HELP. A TERRIBLE OCCUPATIONAL DISASTER. I’VE BEEN MAIMED BY AN ON THE JOB ACCIDENT REQUIRING MASSIVE WORKERS’ COMPENSATION.

as others in the office crowd around to look, brain makes his dramatic reveal.

“i’ve been turned into a mouse!”

COLLECTIVE GASP.

obviously mr boss man won’t pay that kind of money.

so, as brain emphatically tells him, I’LL SEE YOU IN COURT.

conclusion:

as the goodfeathers sit on justice’s head, and bitch about jury duty,

The Man From Washinton asserts that brain’s claim that he is a mouse is preposterous.

good thing brain has xrays to prove it! they “clearly” define his “mouse skeleton!” wait a sec and he’ll grab them.

oh shit! where they go?

(”there really is only one conclusion here.” says a local doctor.

“this man is a mouse.”

“then i’m afraid the only conclusion here, doctor,”

“is that you have never seen these.”

“i trust this might keep you quiet.”

“it might.”)

(BRUH/???????????????) (if boss man is out here bribing people with lingerie, he could have tried that way before this got to court.)

egged on by the lack of evidence in Mouse Corner, christopher walken produces the artefacts from brain’s office cubicle.

“i ask you, when was the last time you heard of a mouse winning a bowling trophy?”

“ugh. pinky.”

“yes?”

turns out pinky is here because “they’re not covering this on court tv,” but does advise brain that “it’s a good thing they didn’t find the mechanical suit, eh, brain?”

oh shit.

“pinky, you must go to the office and get that suit from the kitchen closet. do you understand? if they find that we’re sunk.”

“oh! brain! you want me to help!”

off he goes!

fall mouse. bonk.

(he sneaks into the snack delivery.)

(poit.)

(unfortunately, he gets delivered straight to the vending machine.)

(”narf? ):”)

“well. yes. i had noticed his... small, furry head, but i assumed that was normal for his people.”

“and what people would that be.”

“i’m not sure? i think they’re from europe?? maybe france.”

“the size of my head and whether i was a man before the accident is not the question, here. the fact is i am now a mouse.”

(meanwhile, at fiero:

“try the fruit rollups. they’re yummy.”

“oh, i am doing well. poit.”)

“so how exactly did the accident happen, mr brain?”

“some bizarre thing involving a microwave oven? i don’t know exactly-- no one really knows how they work.”

“incorrect! in the oven, a magnetron produces microwaves which cause water molecules to align, and reverse alignment, producing heat, and not mice.”

“the accident also involved a.... nondairy powdered creamer.”

“ah. um. oh.”

(meanwhile,

pinky attempts to drive.)

“mr brain, in your experience with other mice, are they intelligent?”

“no.”

“exactly. your honour, i contend that mr brain is simply too intelligent to be a mouse.”

oh dear.

(meanwhile,

pinky tries not to get hit by a car.)

“but-- no, noo, i’m not intelligent.”

“i am a simpleton! yes. like any average mouse!”

“um. narf.”

that’s mean, brain, considering the aforementioned narf is on his way to save your gay little ass right now, but whatever.

“so you would have no problem with me saying that albert einstien was a champion surfer.”

“what-- i mean, no.”

“or that the temperature of the sun is a comfortable seventy degrees fahrenheight.”

“i wouldn’t know--”

“or that the fermi-dirac’s distribution function is a soup kitchen?”

“that’s preposterous! your honour, the fermi-dirac's function is, for any system of identical fermions in equilibrium,”

“the probability that a quantum state of energy -- E -- is occupied!”

“my word, man! don’t you know your quantum statistics!”

heck.

bonk.

“oh, blunder.”

and what a blunder indeed! the judge decides to rule that brain’s intelligence proves that he is “not a mouse, and that being the basis for your claim, i now dismiss charges against fiero and company.”

“.....very well. i’ll go now.”

“i’m afraid not. i find you guilty of fraud, perjury, and appearing naked in a public place. take him away.”

good thing they have human man sized handcuffs for this human man! brain looks incredibly perturbed, despite the fact he could probably swim in them. and also that he... kind of lives in a prison anyway, if you think about it. oh, cool, can’t wait to evade that cage so i can go live in my other cage.

hm.

luckily, pinky arrives to save us all from that particular moral quandry.

“i got the suit, brain! i got it!”

“pinky--”

the police attempt to intercept pinky,

so he knocks them over. hoo hoo.

brain falls over,

attempts to enter the suit through the shoe,

and is squoshed for his crimes.

faced with a veritable army of police, at this point,

pinky activates the emergency protocol,

says blue lives scatter,

and fucks off out of the courthouse.

we stan a legend.

unfortunately brain got a fair few ouchies during his prison break, so pinky bandages him up. it’s very cute.

anyway, i’m giving this one to brain, on account there were, yknow, a fair few ways that could have been mitigated. fiero fucked him over, though, so i’ll give him that.

brain: 5 ½ pinky: 6 ½ outside influence: 10

“egad, brain! brilliant!”

“but isn’t that horribly illegal?”

“............yes.”

#patb #pinky and the brain #this took so long lol #BUT THIS EPISODE WAS REALLY GOOD #IT GOT AWAY WITH SO MUCH BRO I ....

23 notes · View notes

perditaalottachocolate-blog · 5 years

Text

Rough translation of Miracle Queen dialogue (sorry if I missed something).

The ep starts with Marinette saying that one Has to always be ready

Then Hawkmoth gives Chloe the miraculous box and orders her to use it “reasonably”

Then Chloe orders the wasps to sting everyone

Marinette monoluges offscreen while ppl get stung about love and sacrifice, and finding your own destiny (I kind of do not like the sudden narration they introduced in the finale)

Marinette pulls away from Luka and says she doesn’t know why she acted like that. He asks if she’s okay and she says yes, thank you. Then she asks if he has found the perfect melody. He says yes and asks if she wants to listen. Marinette hesitates, and Luka asks if she’s thinking about Adrien.

Then the wasps come, Luka protects Marinette, she cries “oh no not them again”, Tikki time to hide, and then she transforms and jumps into the river.

Adrien pushes Kagami away and babbles “no, yes, no”. He thought things would be different (either he thinks about her “not like that” or he thought he would feel different about kissing her).

Kagami asks if he doesn’t feel good in her company, and he says that he feels good, but “it seems he’s not ready”. Kagami asks when will he be ready and when he doesn’t answer she says his hesitance hurts her. Then the wasps come. Kagami cries “No” and pushes him out of the way.

Adrien runs [and apparently Andree the ice cream man now knows Chat’s identity, because Adrien jumps into the river BEFORE the bridge xD] and transforms

Chloe: Ppl of Paris, listen to the first order of the Miracle Queen. And then she outs other miraculous holders (HOLY CRAP) – she says that previous miraculous holders should come to her – and only those who have wielded a miraculous come! [“talisman” is apparently a miraculous in Ukrainian dub]

***

Hawkmoth: you won’t hide anything from me

Then Chloe comments on who comes – “nerd Max”, pseudo reporter, dj tupac. What did Ladybug think choosing you?! Ah, and Kim, I could have expected that.

Luka joins them. Chloe: I don’t know him but he must take his clothes from a dumster (trashy clothes)

Kagami comes. Chloe: Oh, no, not her. This is a ridiculous choice. Simply ridiculous. But oh well, take your miraculouses.

Nino and Kagami do not take a miraculous. Hawkmoth is surprised – “why won’t they take a miraculous”? Chloe: ah, prolly they were stupid and lost their miraculous.

Hawkmoth: they lost them or someone else has them (spoiler alert – they’re not – Master Fu has turtle, LB has dragon)

Chloe orders those who has the miraculous to transform, then says they’re her royal guard now. “Ladybug, Chat Noir, I will use your armor/weapon to destroy you. You will regret you didn’t want me anymore.”

***

Hawkmoth joins Mayura on the roof. “It’s time to deal with the old fool”.

Mayura: faints.

Hawkmoth: Mayura.

Mayura: I’m fine lol

Hawkmoth: I never wanted this to be part of my plan. I’m sorry, but I need you again.

Mayura: don’t guilt yourself. From the first day I knew I’d do anything for you [WHAAAAA???] She summons the sentimonster. They tell it to destroy the shield.

***

LB and CN meet under water. CN asks who has the dragon miraculous now, but LB says she didn’t give it to anyone yet.

LB: Master FU is missing, I’m sure something bad happened to him.

CN: checks, UR right LB, Hawkmoth has Fu trapped and he has the miraculouses. That’s a catastrophe

LB: That’s my fault. I didn’t detransform when I went to him. Cry cry

CN: Hey, we need to get to master Fu, before the sentimonster ruins the shield. That’s something only Ladybug can do

LB: hugs him. Thank you Chat, you always have help me

CN: always LB

LB: already has a plan. First we go after Miracle Queen to get other holders out of her control, then we go after Mayura and Hawkmoth to free master Fu. But first we need to deal with the wasps, if they sting us, all is over.

CN: we’ll do what we can

LB: we can do more! activates dragon miraculous

CN: no, it’s dangerous, you’ve already used the water power

LB: we have no choice

Longg: I’m ready to fight Ladybug!

They get out of water, drop the water power, LB joins dragon and ladybug, then summons water dragon to push away the wasps.

Chloe: Ladybug!

LB: It’s Dragonbug for you!

***

Hawkmoth: More power won’t help you. In a few moments the shield will be down and I will make the guardian to tell me your identities.

Master fu: Don’t listen to him. You are strong enough to deal with this. Just work together.

Chat and LB: we can do this. As always.

CN to HM: you don’t scare us. We’re a team.

LB: it’s not your lucky day, Hawkmoth.

HM: Time to act my Queen

Chloe: Fight them my minions

LB: Snake is the most dangerous. Take care of him Chat

Chat holds him still.

LN: seems like you’re locked, but I’m not. Takes away Luka’s bracelet. [SMART GIRL]

Chloe: loser

LB: Chat Noir, your turn. Throws him the snake miraculous.

Chat: Sass, Plagg, merge!

Chat: Dragonbug, it’s an illusion.

Kim: makes LB’s yoyo useless.

LB: No. Wasps: sting sting

Chat: second chance. Dragonbug, it’s a mirage. Second chance [You get it now, right?]

Chat: Dragonbug, a hole – there!

Chloe: Haha, pitiful. You really think I- gets the frog in da face. Puff the wasps go.

LB: Long, Tikki, divide.

CN: Sass, Plagg, divide.

LB: Time to deevilize. Bbye butterfly

***

CN: See, it’s not your day, Hawkmoth

Hawkmoth: AHA

LB: Hawkmoth is our enemy, Chloe. We can’t allow him to have the miraculous box.

Chloe: I won’t talk to you. How many times have I asked you for my miraculous, huh? Hawkmoth is not my enemy, but yours. And the miraculous box is MINE!

LB: Chloe, don’t do this.

Chloe: Watch me, I’m gonna become the mightiest miraculous holder in the history.

HM: Hahaha, I don’t need more proof. I knew you were one of us, Chloe Bourgeois.

Chloe: Hahaha, what ru waiting for, transform me now!

Kwamis: You don’t know our names. And you haven’t said the right words either. And you could ask nicely.

Chloe: I’m your queen. Miracle Queen. I order you to tell me what I have to do next!

Hawkmoth: You can’t do anything. I already won. The shield will fall and the guardian will be in my hands. Your friends won’t help you. You’re alone now. Check mate, Ladybug!

LB: I have one more move, Hawkmoth. Lucky Charm! A charm? What am I supposed to do with it?

HM: Hahahaha, you won’t do anything, my plan is perfect. You can’t stop me.

LB: I don’t have any ideas.

CN: Think, you can do everything!

LB: Sorry, I don’t know what to do. I put mastrer Fu in this position.

CN: Ladybug, no.

LB: It’s because of me Hawkmoth took the miraculous box. I’m the worst Ladybug ever.

Fu: Ladybug, you’re the best miraculous holder I’ve ever met. Yes, you’ve made a mistake. But you fixed it with your actions.

LB: But I don’t know what to do, Master

Fu: You have all the keys and you will become the greatest guardian.

HM: WHAT?

Kwamis: Master, No! Don’t do this!

Fu: I renounce the miraculous box and declare Ladybug the next guardian!

HM: No!

Chloe: No! That’s my box, mine! I’m the guardian, I’m the Queen. Hawkmoth, do something!

HM: I’m disappointed. (runs away with Mayura)

CN: I will go after them, you go after the box.

LB: Sorry, Chloe, but this belongs to me.

Chloe: I don’t need your stupid miraculous. You’ll see, and Paris will see. I’m going to leave for New York with my mom, and I’m going to be the only owner of the comb. Without you and your stupid losers you call friends.

LB: Sorry, Chloe, but I can’t let you do that.

Chloe: oh yeah? Well, I don’t like you anymore Ladybug. You don’t deserve to breathe the same air as me!

CN: Sorry, I couldn’t find them

***

LB: Master Fu, Master Fu, wake up!

Gabriel: Oh, my Nathalie. I’m so sorry. I lost again and you used up all your strength. For nothing.

Nathalie: No, not for nothing, the previous guardian had the miraculous book deciphered, now we can fix the peacock miraculous.

***

LB: Master Fu?

Fu: these are nice costumes. Who are you?

CN: he lost his memory?

Wayzz: That’s the fate of guardians once they renounce the box. All their personal memories were kept in the miraculous.

LB: It’s okay, we’re your friends, sir.

Fu: Ah, nice to meet you!

Wayzz: Good luck, Master.

CN: Wait, you haven’t cast the cure yet!

LB: Miraculous Ladybug! Master Fu do you remember me now?

Fu: Sorry to disappoint, miss, but I see you for the first time in my life.

CN: The thing that happened to him was because of Chloe.

LB: My cure didn’t change anything.

Fu: It’s a shame you threw away such a nice charm, I’d use it for my key. Here.

***

Chloe: Mom, I expect Jean Something to finish packing our suitcases, we’re leaving now! Wha?

Andre: Your mom changed her mind.

Audrey: It was a mistake, but everyone makes mistakes sometimes.

Andre: Ah, my queen!

Chloe: Yuk, that’s disgusting. I order you to fight again!

***

Marinette reading Fu’s letter: When we grow up, we find out that life doesn’t always give us what we expected. I’d like to tell you everything myself, but if you’re reading this, it means I’ve lost my memory. You don’t have to be scared or sad, as I’ve learned at the beginning of my way loss is just a part of life. But it’s not important that life doesn’t give us what we expect. Because the biggest gift is the life itself.

***

Fu: I see you for the first time, but my heart beats so quick as if I’ve always known you.

Marianne: You should always believe your heart [Gee, I wonder what LB would say to that…]

Marinette: A gift, for the travel.

Fu: Thank you, miss. I will never forget you.

***

At the bank, Fu’s voice: Even if life doesn’t give us what we expect, the biggest gift is life itself.

Luka: You okay?

Marinette: How’s that melody? Can I listen to it?

Luka: You want to listen?

Marinette: Mhm.

***

Gabriel holding the peacock miraculous in a gloved hand: Just as good as new.

THE END

***

Hope you enjoyed it!

#ml spoilers #miracle queen #miracle queen spoilers #translation #transcript of dialogue #perdita writes #kinda

314 notes · View notes

monotonous-minutia · 4 years

Text

DORILLA IN TEMPE (in a nutshell)

(contains spoilers)

Cast:

Dorilla, a princess, in love with Elmiro (soprano or mezzo-soprano)

Elmiro, a shepherd, in love with Dorilla (mezzo-soprano)

Nomio, Apollo disguised as a shepherd, also in love with Dorilla (mezzo-soprano)

Admeto, the king, also Dorilla’s father, presumably single (bass)

Eudamia, a nymph, also in love with Elmiro (mezzo-soprano)

Filindo, who apparently doesn’t get a title, in love with Eudamia (mezzo-soprano)

Act I

(A pasture outside the palace)

Elmiro: Dorilla! I love you!

Dorilla: Elmiro! I love you too!

Elmiro: Well glad we got that established right off the bat, usually the mezzo has to battle a little bit more.

Dorilla: Nah, you’re cute.

Elmiro: But what if…this was all a dream and you didn’t actually love me.

Dorilla: Oh, come on now.

Admeto: UGH I JUST GOT THE WORST NEWS

Dorilla: Elmiro, hide before my dad sees us hanging out together! He doesn’t know about us!

Elmiro: Fiiiiine.

Dorilla: So, dad, what’s this terrible news?

Admeto: I just saw this giant snake hanging around the shore and it’s destroying everything in its wake!

Dorilla: That’s terrifying! But don’t worry, I’m sure the gods will protect us.

Admeto: Well, we’re about to find out. I’m going to consult the Oracle to see what we need to do.

Dorilla: Ooooh can I come?

Admeto: Sure, let’s get going. Oh, hey, Nomio.

Nomio: Good morning, your highnesses. Dorilla, don’t you look lovely this evening?

Dorilla: I do, don’t I? Come on, dad, let’s go.

Nomio: Wait, so what’s this about a giant serpent?

Admeto: Yeah, there’s this monster hanging around and it’s starting to terrify everyone.

Nomio: What if I killed it?

Admeto: HAHAHAHA

Nomio: No, really.

Admeto: Well, sweetheart, if you were to kill it, I would certainly come up with some grand reward for you.

Nomio: Cool. Consider it done.

Admeto: Sure, kid, sure.

Nomio: Now that they’re gone I can reveal my true identity. I’m actually Apollo in disguise. I’ve come to Earth in another form to pursue my love. I do this a lot. Which obviously doesn’t invalidate what I’m feeling right now. And what I’m feeling is a great love for Dorilla, even though she’s obviously taken and has no interest in me. But that’s never stopped me before! Maybe if I kill this giant serpent, she’ll fall in love with me.

(In a sacred hollow)

Admeto: Oh sacred Oracle, we call on you to grant us your insight.

Oracle: Oh, that snake? Yeah, you gotta feed it your daughter, then it’ll leave you alone.

Dorilla: WHAT???

Admeto: Oh, the horror! My poor daughter! Well, you heard the Oracle. Come on, Dorilla.

Dorilla: Dad, seriously? You’re not even going to fight this?

Admeto: I’m a king, not a miracle worker.

Dorilla: Alas, my wretched fate! But I suppose it’s the duty of a royal daughter to obey and sacrifice myself for the good of the kingdom. On a side note, you’d think I’d get an aria here, but I don’t even get that. Sigh.

(Back in the pasture)

Elmiro: So what’s the big news?

Dorilla: Well, there’s a giant snake and apparently it has to eat me.

Elmiro: WHAAAAT NOOOOO

Dorilla: I KNOW RIGHT

Elmiro: There’s got to be something we can do!

Dorilla: Well, if you think of anything, let me know. I have to go get tied to a rock now.

Elmiro: Omg this is just the worst. I have to find a way to save her.

Eudamia: Heyyyy beautiful.

Elmiro: Not now, Eudamia.

Eudamia: Come on, aren’t you done giving me the cold shoulder yet?

Elmiro: For the last time, I’m not playing hard to get. I legitimately do not like you the way you like me.

Eudamia: That’s just rude.

Elmiro: It’s the truth. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go save the girl I actually like.

Eudamia: Ugh, men.

Filindo: Eudamia! I love you!

Eudamia: So you say.

Filindo: Aren’t you tired of Elmiro rejecting you over and over? Why don’t you return my affection?

Eudamia: Well, I never really said I didn’t, did I? (Hmm, his devotion might actually come in handy.) How about this: you spy on Elmiro for me; let me know what he’s up to. Then I’ll let you take me on a date.

Filindo: That’s kinda sketch, but sure.

Eudamia: You’re the best!

Filindo: YAAASSSS she likes me!!

(On the shore. Dorilla is tied to a rock.)

Dorilla: Oh, gods, in my last moments, can you not spare any pity for me and my people?

Nomio: I CAN (he slays the serpent)

Dorilla: OMG

Admeto: OMG YAYY MY DAUGHTER IS SAVED

Dorilla: SEE DAD I TOLD YOU THERE’S ALWAYS A LOOPHOLE

Everyone: THANK THE GODS WE HAVE BEEN SAVED

Nomio: Ummmm….over here? Anyone? Anyone?

Act II

(Back in the pasture)

Dorilla: Elmiro!

Elmiro: OMG DORILLA YOU’RE ALIVE

Dorilla: Yes Nomio saved me!! Now you and I can live happily ever after!

Elmiro: Wait, Nomio? You mean that super hot shepherd?

Dorilla: …yes?

Elmiro: What if you go all damsel-in-distress on me and fall in love with the person who saved you?

Dorilla: Oh my god, stop being such a jealous tenor, there’s a reason they wrote you as a mezzo.

Elmiro: Right, sorry.

Admeto: Hey honey! I’ve got great news: you’re marrying Nomio.

Dorilla: Uh, since when?

Nomio: Since I saved your life from the serpent!

Dorilla: I didn’t realize that was part of the deal.

Admeto: Well, it’s only fair. It’s not like I could let you marry a lowly shepherd.

Dorilla: And what exactly is Nomio?

Nomio: A lowly shepherd who just SAVED YOUR LIFE

Dorilla: Okay, fair, but…

Admeto: What’s the matter? As far as I know, you’re not dating anyone.

Eudamia: Actually that’s not true! Filindo, tell them what you found.

Filindo: Um…

Eudamia: Do you love me or not?

Filindo: OKAY FINE so uh I kinda saw Dorilla making out with Elmiro a while back.

Admeto: Dorilla is this true???

Dorilla: Um well are you really going to trust everything that Eudamia says when she obviously has a crush on Elmiro too?

Filindo: Wait she WHAT

Admeto: OKAY WHATEVER I really could not care less. Dorilla, you’re marrying Nomio. End of story.

Dorilla: BUT DAD I DON’T WANT TO

Admeto: I think we established pretty early on that your happiness is not my biggest priority. Now, everyone, let’s put together a big celebration to honor Nomio, since he saved everyone and is going to marry my daughter.

Nomio: Dorilla, will you join me?

Dorilla: Well, I’d rather not.

Nomio: y tho

Dorilla: I’m just not in love with you. Sorry.

Nomio: WHY DOES THIS ALWAYS HAPPEN TO ME ugh

Filindo: Eudamia, what was up with that? You said you’d go out with me if I helped you, but this entire time you were making me help you get with Elmiro?

Eudamia: Filindo, my heart is hurting, okay? Leave me alone.

Filindo: I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME

Eudamia: I never actually said that.

Filindo: FINE I’M DONE WITH YOU WHO NEEDS YOU ANYWAY I’M GOING TO GO CRY I mean I’M GOING TO GO HUNT YOU KNOW KILL SOMETHING LIKE REAL MEN DO WHEN THEY’RE SAD

Everyone: Bring on the food and bring on the hunt! Let’s celebrate the marriage between Nomio and Dorilla!

Dorilla: I guess it’s just going to be a thing huh.

Elmiro: Dorilla, run away with me!

Dorilla: OMG ABOUT TIME

Act III

Admeto: OMG Elmiro ran off with my daughter!!

Filindo: Don’t worry, your majesty, I’ll find them!

Eudamia: Um, what?

Filindo: You wanted me to break them up, didn’t you?

Eudamia: What has gotten into him?

Nomio: I FOUND THEM HERE THEY ARE

Admeto: Dorilla! How dare you disobey me and run away from your husband!

Dorilla: BUT WE’RE NOT EVEN MARRIED YET BESIDES I DON’T LOVE HIM I LOVE ELMIRO

Admeto: OKAY THAT’S IT ELMIRO YOU’RE GOING TO BE SENTENCED TO DEATH

Elmiro: Alas my love! Don’t weep for me! Or, well, do a little so I know you loved me, but not, like, forever.

Dorilla: NO I WOULD RATHER DIE WITH YOU THAN LIVE WITHOUT YOU

Admeto: What the heck is going on?

Dorilla: I refuse to marry Nomio! Just kill me already!

Nomio: OMG THAT’S THE LAST STRAW I AM ROYALLY CHEESED OKAY YOU’RE GOING TO DIE AND YOU’RE GOING TO DIE

Admeto: You don’t actually have the authority to do that, Nomio.

Nomio: YES I DO I OWN THIS PLACE

Admeto: But you’re just a shepherd??

Nomio: …oh. Right. Uh. Excuse me for a minute.

Eudamia: Elmiro, do you really want to just die for the sake of Dorilla? What about me?

Elmiro: Look, I’ve told you, I don’t love you. You’re a cool person, but I’m in love with Dorilla, okay?

Eudamia: FINE THEN JUST DIE

Dorilla: GOODBYE CRUEL WORLD

Everyone: OMG DORILLA JUST THREW HERSELF INTO THE RIVER

Elmiro: OMG JUST KILL ME NOW OKAY IT’S NOT LIKE THINGS COULD GET ANY WORSE JUST REUNITE ME WITH MY BELOVED

Nomio: EVERYONE SHUT UP okay so I’m actually Apollo right so I’m a literal deux ex machina and I just saved Dorilla and I guess I just have to bless the marriage between her and Elmiro because, you know, True Love™. Also, Eudamia, just go out with Filindo, okay? We all know you have a crush on him.

Eudamia: Okay, fine.

Filindo: FOR REAL?????

Eudamia: Yeah, you’re pretty cute.

Filindo: Yeah I am!!!!

Elmiro: Dorilla, my love!

Dorilla: Elmiro, my love!

Nomio: Well, I guess it’s back to Olympus for me.

Everyone: Dude literally no one cares we all know you’re going to be doing this all over again with another girl next week.

Nomio: …that’s fair.

Everyone: HOORAY FOR TRUE LOVE TODAY IS A GREAT DAY

The end

#sorry i had to #Dorilla in Tempe #Antonio Vivaldi #Antonio Maria Lucchini #opera #Baroque opera #opera tag

1 note · View note