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astronomeys · 4 years ago

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why is the sun your favorite planet? do you have a favorite moon orbiting a planet outside of ours? (mine is io because of the volcanos) what's a fact about space that scares you (or excites you, or both)

Hewwo!

Okay I was going to try to condense my answers but I care about astronomy too much so I’ll just put it all under the readmore to be less Irritating but here’s the gist:

The sun isn’t a planet, that’s Ironic Stupidity. Uranus is my fav!

Neptune’s moon Triton is my favorite moon cuz its history is dark

The Kuiper Belt excites me!

Alright alright, so if for some reason people wanna know more about me (????????????????????????????????????????????) here’s more detailed answers:

The sun isn’t my fav planet because the sun isn’t a planet, that’s a joke I have on my blog TM because I used to study astrophysics really hardcore for a long time, so it was Ironic Stupidity. My fav planet it actually Uranus! Basically when the universe made Uranus, it was wearing a LET’S GET FUCKING WEIRD snapback. The bitch is orbiting on its side bc 2 Mars-sized planets smacked the fuck out of it early on, so because of that, its days/seasons are a bit fucking wild. It has an 84-year orbit, right? But bc it’s on its side, the north pole doesn’t face “up,” it’s either facing the sun or facing away from the sun. If you lived on its north pole, you’d have 42 years of perpetual daylight and 42 years of perpetual darkness. BUTTTTT even tho it’s on its side compared to the solar plane, it’s actually right side up compared to the galactic plane. WACK. Also you know how the Earth’s magnetic field is more or less a dipole (a magnet with a north and a south -- 2 poles, dipole)? Uranus has a quadrupole going on, and it’s off-center. WACK AGAIN. Also!!!!! It used to be the furthest planet from the sun and then Saturn bullied Neptune into fucking off and now Uranus is only the 7th planet from the sun. I wanna say that that’s the reason it’s the coldest planet (by average temp). WACK ONCE MORE. Here’s a crappy picture I drew:

My favorite moon is 100% Triton! I especially love the cryovolcanoes -- essentially, they are volcanoes that are made of liquid nitrogen!!! Nitrogen is a gas at room temp (obv) so it has to be SUPER FUCKING COLD to be a liquid. When I worked at the [REDACTED] Planetarium, I used to do experiments with liquid nitrogen where we got to recreate Triton’s cryovolcanoes and it was soooooooooo fun. Triton also has a “cantaloupe terrain” which is just cracks in the surface made from the liquid nitrogen (think of ice cracking from flowing water). But more than anything, I love love love its history as a Kuiper Belt Object (KBO). Lemme break it down tho-- WAIT FIRST here’s cantaloupe terrain (the actual scientific word for it)

Look at that and tell me that isn’t a shitty 2007 Nokia image of a cantaloupe!

ANYWAY OK so Triton’s emo history

So beyond Neptune is a section of the solar system called the Kuiper Belt, which is a bunch of icy rocks that never coalesced into a planet (also where Pluto lives!). It’s full of some of my favorite celestial bodies, but I’ll talk about that later. So anyway, it’s all ice and rock, cool. Remember how I mentioned Saturn yeeted Neptune? Well in doing so, Neptune plunged into the Kuiper Belt and threw a bunch of those icy objects out of the way. One of those objects was Triton and its sister object -- the two orbited each other, more or less. But Neptune and Triton got close to each other, too close, and Neptune’s gravity did two things: it pulled Triton in, and it flung Triton’s sister object out into space. God knows where, it’s gone. But typical of captured objects, Triton started orbiting Neptune backwards, and it was a brutal capture -- Triton, being so massive, destroyed many of Neptune’s moons or shoved the others out of Neptune’s orbit in its attempt to get into a more stable orbit itself. It has done so and the two objects live in temporary harmony, but there’s a caveat: as a backwards-orbiting object, Triton is slowly getting closer to Neptune, and at some point it’ll get so close that either it’ll crash into Neptune and be destroyed, or it’ll be ripped apart by Neptune’s gravity.

Fun (: Here’s a great pic of Voyager 2 flying away from Neptune and Triton (no color correction, so it’s b&w)!

Last one!!!! The Kuiper Belt

Ooooo how I love the Kuiper Belt. If I could restart my education, I’d go into astrophysics and follow in Mike Brown’s footsteps in researching the outer solar system. Everything from Uranus and beyond fascinates me, but the Kuiper Belt is full of intense stories. It’s essentially an icy version of the asteroid belt, and just beyond it is where comets come from. But inside the Kuiper Belt is a bunch of really cool dwarf planets, including Pluto, Makemake, Haumea, Quaoar, Eris (kind of), and Sedna (also kind of). I say “kind of” about Eris and Sedna bc those are beyond the Kuiper Belt, though they’re structurally identical to KBOs. Eris is a Scattered Disc Object and Sedna is an Oort Cloud Object. They’re basically just Kuiper Belt 2 and 3 but further away, less populated, and their orbits are WACK. Oh speaking of wack orbits, all the KBOs have orbits that are elongated, off-center, and tilted. They r all drunk. All the dwarf planets discovered in the Kuiper Belt (besides Pluto) were discovered by Mike Brown actually LMAO. They’re all named after creation gods -- Makemake is Rapanui, Haumea is Hawaiian (AND MY FAV KBO), Quaoar is Tongva, and Sedna is Inuit. Eris and Pluto are exceptions to the rule. There’s also another Dwarf Planet, Ceres, which is in the asteroid belt.

But who cares about any of THAT, the point is that Haumea is the best KBO because, in its discoverers words, it’s shaped like a squashed egg. That is because some other bitch smacked it when it was still liddol and so it went SPINNING and the spinning made it all Ovalesque cuz it was stretching itself out. We can tell that this happened cuz Haumea has relatively little ice on its surface BUT it has 2 moons made almost entirely of ice AND astronomers kept finding these mainly-icy bodies whose orbits had the same shape, timing, and tilt as Haumea’s, they were just all skewed about. But if u rewind time, all those icy bodies meet up at Haumea, so we know that something hit Haumea and sent the ice on its surface flying. She’s my queen. Here’s an artistic rendition of my queen and its 2 moons Hi’iaka and Namaka. (we also know Haumea has rings tho iirc?)

OKAY WELL THAT’S A LOT OF WORDS I just think astronomy is neat, I wish I had the money to go back to school and study astrophysics </3

#astronomy #asks #cartoonsun #sorry LOL #pers

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iwrite4obx · 4 years ago

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It's a Date Pt. 3 | JJ x fem!Reader | Topper x fem!Reader

Read Part 1 | Read Part 2 | Read Part 4

A/N: Sorry for the bit of a delay! We just uncovered our pool for the summer so I've been in there like 24/7 😜After reading up through Part 3, please comment on this post to vote if our heroine should end up with JJ or Topper. If I do not receive sufficient votes, I will decide for myself. Please comment, I really don’ t want to choose. Requests are now open! Send me an ask! Also, send me a message to have a chat! Doesn't matter if we're mutuals or not, I'm always up to talk if you feel lonely😘 (and I frequently do so...)

T/W: Swearing. Some angsty fluff. I promise it's not just a date gone wrong, stick with it

Summary: Can I request a topper xx reader or Jj x reader where reader is Sarah and rafe’s cousin that’s staying with them for the summer and Sarah and John B wanna set her up with Jj while rafe (not a dick for once) sees her being with Topper and well she kinda has this thing where she says “make a date where it shows off your personality” and she goes on both and yea sorry if it’s confusing. This part is the date with Topper.

Word count: 1.5k

Sarah had refused to wait with you. She swore to you that she wasn’t angry about you going on a date with her ex-boyfriend, but said she just didn’t want to see him. She was also convinced that he wouldn’t be your type, and after she had been so right about you getting along with JJ, you were finding it difficult to doubt her words. So as you waited outside, the heat causing your dress to stick to your thighs, your thoughts were not of Topper, but JJ. As soon as he'd kissed you and said he thought you'd make a great addition to his group, you wanted to say you were beginning to feel something for him. But you'd told yourself that first, you had to get this date out of the way.

Topper was several minutes early. He pulled into the drive and climbed out of his car. He looked much more like the kind of guy you would typically go for. Handsome and polished with a good sense of fashion. He approached you, a small smile on his face.

"Y/n, it's good to meet you. Rafe and Sarah both always speak so highly of you." He took your hand and his own and brought it to his lips, kissing it gently. The gentlemanly gesture stirred up butterflies in your stomach.

"I'm glad I finally get to meet you, Topper." You wish you could say the same of him, but Sarah never had anything positive to say.

"Are you ready to get going?" He inquired.

"Yeah, of course." Topper helped you into the passenger seat.

You made casual conversation in the car. You talked about plans for college, though honestly, you hadn't given it much thought yet. You talked about all the countries Topper had been to and where he still wanted to go. You tried to stay engaged, but at times it felt more like he was reading off a resumé than having a conversation. Everything about him seemed a little too perfect and refined.

You arrived at the Island Club. You'd been there a few times before to go to various events with Sarah or go golfing with Rafe. The location didn't surprise you at all. It seemed to match Topper exactly: pretty to look at and predictably perfect.

As you went to climb out the car, your heel got caught on your long dress and you found yourself plummeting towards the ground. Somehow, at an incredible speed, Topper managed to rush over and catch you gracefully.

"Woah. You okay?" Topper asked, looking down at you with a smile. You couldn't find your voice for a second, so you just nodded. He spun you around playfully then set you down, unexpectedly placing a kiss on your cheek. "You better be more careful." The words were innocent, but his smile was flirtatious, even mischievous looking.

At that moment, you felt like you got a glimpse at this secret, other side of Topper. A version of him that could be spontaneous and fun and easy to be around. Someone you could actually see yourself with. As he offered his arm to you and you began walking, all you could think about was how you could get this new Topper to stay.

You strolled right into the Island Club. The security guards at the front door didn't even ask to see proof of membership. They clearly knew who Topper was. He lead you to the dinning room where he told the host about your reservations. As you went to sit down, he pulled out the chair for you before sitting down himself.

"Since you're going to be here all summer, I'm sure you'll get some use out of the Island Club."

You could tell he was trying to illicit a response from you, something about how nice the club was and how you couldn't wait to spend more time here. He was trying hard to impress you, and it was obvious. But you simply responded with, "Yeah, I guess I will."

"You'll be at Midsummer's? It was always Sarah's favorite party."

As much as you loved your cousin, you would rather not talk about his ex-girlfriend's preferences on a date.

"Yeah. I can't wait." You knew you should try harder to make conversation, but he was honestly boring you.

"Rafe told me you like boats. I've got a brand new-" Topper began, but you reached for his hand across the table and cut him off.

"Topper. Hey, Topper. Can you just slow down for a second."

He frowns. "What's wrong?"

You sighed, trying to find the right words to explain yourself. "I really want to know you, okay? There are lots of people on this island who could dress up and take me out to a fancy dinner and talk about their new boat. But there's only one Topper Thornton, yeah? I want to know him. Forget about trying to impress me. Just be you."

He was still frowning the entire time you were talking, but as silence settled in, a confused expression appeared on his face. "Forget about trying to impress you," he muttered under his breath.

He stood abruptly, leaving his suit coat draped over the back of his chair and grabbed your hand, pulling you out of your seat. You barely had time to grab your clutch before he whisked you out of the dinning room. You smiled at the sudden outburst of spontaneity.

"What about the reservations?" You called.

"Fuck the reservations," was his response.

You ran through the halls of the club, weaving around various guests and eliciting stares and gasps from the people you nearly tripped over. You both kept calling out that you were sorry, but it was nearly inaudible through your giggling.

You burst out of some side door just in time to see the sun begin to set over the horizon. You stopped, trying to catch your breath and tossed off your heels that had caused you to nearly twist your ankles dozens of times during the unexpected chase. Topper was also gasping for air, but he was still laughing.

"I can't believe we did that. My mother's gonna flip when she hears about it."

You smiled, not particularly caring about the repercussions. "I'm sure Uncle Ward won't be too happy either."

You looked around. You had ended up on some sort of wooden walkway that led to a gazebo strung with lanterns. Topper saw you looking at it and took your hand, leading you over to it.

"I come here to watch the sunset. Sometimes it's the only place I feel I can breathe."

You stared out at the sinking sun, watching the explosion of colors play out. You glanced over at Topper, realizing that he seemed suddenly tense. You let go of his hand to rub calming circles on his back.

"You can breathe with me. Just let it all out."

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair, ruining the way it was perfectly slicked back. He turned suddenly away from the sunset and began pacing the length of the gazebo. "Look, y/n, I'm so used to trying to be perfect for everyone. My mom, my friends, even- even Sarah wanted me to be a certain way. I feel like I'm never really myself. You have to- you gotta understand this isn't easy to admit. But I feel safe around you, y/n. I know I don't know you but I feel something here. But I don't think I can- I can't actually give you what your looking for. You want the real me? I don't know how to be him anymore." He leaned against the railing, facing away from you, and hung his head.

You walked up to him and wrapped your arms around him, pulling him into a warn embrace. You felt a few years slip down his face and into your bare shoulder.

"Hey, look. Look at the sunset, Topper." You pointed at the sunset where it a tiny sliver was visible above the horizon. He raised his hand from where it had been buried in the crook of your neck to look at it.

"Soon, that sun will sinking below the horizon. And tomorrow, it will rise up again. And when it does, it's a new day, okay? And a new day holds all sorts of opportunities. You can start over fresh, be the you that you want to be, be that you that makes you feel like you can breathe. It's a miserable existence to live solely for other people. There are sometimes when you have to put yourself first. Okay, Topper? I need you to put yourself first."

He nodded and pressed a kiss to your temple. "Put myself first."

You both watched as the sun slipped silently out of view.

A/N: Thank you for reading! Please comment below with who y/n should end up with (or reblog with Team Topper or Team JJ). Part 4 will be out as soon as I get sufficient votes!

Masterlist

#obx #topper x reader #obx fanfiction #obx x reader #jj x reader #outer banks #topper obx #jj obx #jj maybank #rafe cameron #sarah cameron #obx imagine

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bawkrya · 4 years ago

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ok so im just gonna pick at fr from a web designer pov because looking at this site on mobile will drive me into madness if they don’t fix it at some point. The rest of this post will go under a read more because it’s both super long and image heavy.

before i hit mobile though, I’m going to point out some things i just don’t personally like in general with the site design (and yes i am conscious that they are slowly updating to a new look)

this will come as a shock to no one, if you’ve seen previous web design related posts by others anyways, but i cant. stand this menu

[ID: A cropped screenshot of Flight Rising’s Main Menu]

fr, understandably, has a shit ton of links. it’s a petsite with lore and all that, whatever. The thing that bothers me specifically is the length of links and where some are placed.

1. i BELIEVE this counts as an accessibility issue where longer links kinda trap shorter links, goes into misclicks to other pages in the site, etc. etc. 2. i don’t think. the search link should be under library personally ? Maybe make it its own category.

Dev Tracker & Media could go under this category, possibly add separate links to forum, player, and dragon searches with updated formatting

Dressing Room and Scrying Workshop could go under the “Play” category

Forums can be it’s own category with possible subcategories being: Announcements & News, Help Center, and Flight specific discussion forum, maybe more

Library category could then just be: Which Waystone, World Map, Game Database, and Encyclopedia.

Support should be it’s own category.

One thing on the shop category, and i hesitate to say this because im not CONFIDENT on this one, but I’m not sure Custom Skins exactly fits? or at least, it should be Purchase Gems -> Marketplace -> Custom Skins, not between crossroads and festive favors

Merch should probably go under purchase gems, and they should maybe uhh..... i guess change the name for it overall? because 1. “merch” alone does NOT look good with its placement, 2. its another actual money purchase thing and I think those should go on the same page

Along with that, in putting merch under that page, they could put previews of the merch with a button to go purchase instead of immediately going to their merch site (which to begin with it should open in a new tab if its going to a separate site?!!)

then this is a mix of both not liking it on laptop OR mobile,

[ID: A cropped image of Flight Rising’s Clan Home page. The Bestiary link has a bright red box highlighting it]

Obviously these pages are old, but the graphics need to be updated, and there needs to be graphics for every link in the category-- seeing with this category alone there isn’t a graphic for the Bestiary already. On top of this they need to be in link order preferably. if they had a normal dropdown menu for mobile, mobile users wouldn’t be able to access the bestiary unless FR wanted to be STUPID and do further dropdown menus w their 200 links which would be STUPID and CLUTTERED

also in my opinion the Messages link isn’t necessary since we have the button at the top. If they put it there as an excuse for accessibility, they can just. add text to the buttons. like here’s a scuffed mockup but.

[ID: Screenshot of Flight Rising’s Messages, Friend Requests, and Alerts icons edited to have Messages, Friends, and Alerts written next to the icons]

for the friends tab, they could prolly add friend requests at the top like they do for baldwin alerts, then have an online status thing for friends below with buttons to PM, trade, delete friend, etc. I think you’re already able to disable the online status thing with page visibility? but like, make those options separate if you dont wanna block off your entire page, but dont want to be seen online.

For mobile, they can just make the icons bigger.

then. i THINK. last thing on laptop site.

[ID: A screenshot of Flight Rising’s Social Media links with old Logos to YouTube, Tumblr, Reddit, Twitter, Facebook, and DeviantArt]

update these fucking icons they are personally killing me, none of these logos are in use anymore (ALSO UPDATE THE TUMBLR THEME JESUS CHRIST)

ok now for mobile. what this post was originally for.

as you all know, if you visit this site on mobile, there is literally no form of a mobile version for it. It is just a condensed version of the computer version of the site which is...Very Bad!

Most of a sites visitors are going to be through mobile, i forget the exact percentage, but like it’s almost a given that people more readily have their phones with them than their laptop or tablet (which. im not going to bother with the tablet version, you can apply both computer and mobile criticisms to the site). in fact a lot of my time on FR is through mobile since I’m not at home 24/7 and I don’t tote my laptop around. Playing this game through it’s mobile site is Not Fun!

I like, won’t be too pissy or anything bc like. it’s a petsite and I’m making this post for fun. but also like it was made in 2014? 2013? so I’m not going to be u kno. angry. but it nearing the point of ten years with this site and there still isn’t a mobile friendly version. that is lazy. If anything, if they wanted a site update to be the anniversary thing, they should’ve made that update be

Mobile update as primary thing, because designing the site for mobile is a shit ton of work with the amt of pages they have to work through.

Dragon Profile page update (*LOUD SIGH*)

Clan page update

Hoard update (i have thoughts on this too but i wont dive into it this post)

Purchase Gems page update

Dev Tracker update

Forums update

“but that’s a lot to update” well. that wouldve made the anniversary being a website update considerably more worth it, because in my opinion having the dragon profile pages be the ONLY thing to happen during the anniversary was a waste and a bad decision, because other website updates are just. normal whatever updates. it made the anniversary SUPER underwhelming especially bc the past ones (to my knowledge) have only been major game mechanic updates like the eye & ancients update and i believe? the color wheel expansion was an anniversary thing? someone can correct me on that I haven’t played this game as long as most LMAO

as for how i personally would situate the mobile site. shitty graphic time, bc im not putting too much effort into this (warning this will be LONG)

[ID: Image 1. A crudely put together screenshot of the top half of a Mobile View of Flight Rising with comments on either side. It ends with the Latest News segments “Riot of Rot” and “Hoard & Vault Revamp”

Comment 1, Left side: “no banner make it a solid color that matches the burger menu. size the logo correctly etc. Comment 2, Right side: “burger menu w ONLY the categories, goes to the homepages of the categories” Comment 3, Right side: “TWO latest news posts, maybe a button to go see earlier news (which may b something to add to comp too)” Comment 4, Right side: “center dates and comments maybe idfk”

At the bottom of the image there is an added “button” that says “more updates button”]

[ID: Image 2. The bottom half of the mobile view with comments on the left side. There is a put together white box that has the Plague Flight Logo and “plage dom !” written in it. Below it are the Site Status, Random Dragon, and Exalt Bonuses boxes from the site. Underneath that is a red box with “ad space” in the center, with a red footer at the bottom.

The footer contains, “social media! (specifally made icons for site)”, “better formatted links”, and “copyright”.

Comment 1: “idk what they would caption it but the flashy can go here.” Comment 2: “ONE site status update if they keep this format” Comment 3: “probably center these links. i dont know what they use to build the site but im sure you can make icons for social media on just about anything unless this is all handcoded. just. make small icons it takes two seconds and you can copy+paste”]

i dont even want to THINK about how the lair and all that would look on mobile, it was a chore doing the home page alone SOBS

anyways, in ref to these images though--

this is just slapped together and definitely wouldn’t be a final draft, it could use some tweaking

the flashy i refer to is the box that’s above the user box that says what flight is in dom, what festival is going on, etc.

when i mention building the site and “you can make icons for social media on just about anything” im referring to wordpress, wix, whatever is used to format the site. I really only have experience with wordpress thru elementor and divi (so far) so im not CERTAIN about other places but I feel it would be pretty common to have that tool. if not, making icons (or snatching some) is rlly not that hard, probably only costly depending on what their webdesigner(s) charge for icons

I’m not like certain on who does what, how the webdesigner(s) work with/price this site, etc. etc. this is just. going off of my own knowledge. and in general this whole post is my own knowledge abt shit i did no further research to FRs team specifically

i think this is basically it, i’ll reblog with more if i think of anything, but feel free to add things yourself or in general discuss things. again this post was made for fun so im not taking it seriously or demanding for these changes to be made, just personal annoyances and preferences.

This is also my first time doing picture IDs for a post so if I need to correct anything or the like let me know and I’ll edit it in the post!

#im afraid to put this in the tag but you can rb i dont care #but GOD this post ended up so much longer than i anticipated..............#the more i looked at the site the more i saw to point out LMAO #also i tried making this post more accessible bt if theres still some things that dont make sense please let me know #esp the picture ids #theres also so much more i could add whether it's inconsistencies or whatever but i do not !! have the time for that

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naimee · 5 years ago

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GOM switching bodies! Maybe: Kuroko --> Aomine, Kise -->Midorima, and Akashi-->Mukkun! (Or whatever combo you want!)

Can you believe this? She

She posted?? W o w.

_____________

Kuroko & Aomine:

At first Kuroko would h a t e it. Despite the criticism of his original body type from others, this boy loves himself from head to toe.

Getting accustomed to Aomine’s tall frame, long limbs, and lean muscles would take time, but I think Kuroko would learn to appreciate them.

Okay so obviously the boys would have to switch lives until they find out how to swap back. Kuroko would roast the living hell out of Aomine for choosing to live the way he does (it be like that Goofy “bitch you live like this” memenksdfm).

Aomine-kun, how it is possible that your room smells that bad?

I used out two bottles of air freshener and the stench is still there.

Aomine-kun, do you really wear the same uniform pants everyday without washing them?

On the court, he’d be just as dangerous as Aomine…but in a totally different way.

Imagine finally attaining the skills to be an all-around player at something you adore but not knowing how to use those skills? Kuroko would be so sloppy on the courtjsfns

He’d have the physique of a natural basketball player but wouldn’t have Aomine’s years of refining so he’d be horrible at control, especially since Aomine is a streetballer.

I think Kuroko would want to stick to his style of basketball anyway. When he realizes it’s impossible for him to remain unnoticed, he sticks to making shots and using Aomine’s strength to pass the ball quickly. Also, defense? He’d be a monster.

Touou would be so confused when they see Aomine passing the ball more often than usual. Wakamatsu would suspect that he’s up to no good and corner Kuroko in the locker room to warn him that he has his “eye on [him.]”

MOMOI WOULD BE SO HAPPYYY! But also extremely uncomfortable because she’d develop a crush on Kuroko’s conscience in Aomine’s body. I headcanon that she doesn’t care much about appearance. Well actually, that’s pretty canon anyway.

Watching Aomine’s body do everything that she wishes he would, would be an odd experience: working hard, putting his team’s needs above his own, performing random acts of kindness. She’d constantly slap herself and scold, “Wake up, Momoi! Get your head together! You like Tetsu, not that blockhead. TetsuTetsuTetsuTetsu-

This also makes me think of how Kuroko would handle the experience of having darker skin. And not only that but having Aomine’s physique while having darker skin. It would definitely be different from his own. I think he’d walk away from the body swap with newfound insight on who Aomine is as a person.

Aomine would be so aggravated lol

No more naturally athletic body. No more fast reflexes. No more running a mile and hardly breaking a sweat.

As a matter-of-fact he’d break all the sweats in Kuroko’s body. He’d barely make it two laps without his chest burning.

Would he be able to achieve Kuroko’s legendary pass? Hm. Challenge me but I would say yes. Apart from Aomine being incredibly adaptable, he’s stopped Kuroko’s pass before. He has the power and expertise to achieve it b u t will it be exactly like Kuroko’s? Hell no.

Aomine would be around Kagami 90% of the time so you know what that meanssss

Arguments!

Fights!

Fights where Aomine is like “YOU WANNA GO?!” and Kagami is like “HELL YEAH I WANNA GO B-BUT NOT WHILE YOU’RE TETSU! I’LL HURT HIS LITTLE BABY BODY!”

The challenges on the court would be tiring for everyone

Shooting contests in the middle of practice? Hell yeah. (Until Riko sets them skraight)

Burger eating contests at Maji Burger? Oh ho ho most definitely. (Until Aomine throws up red-brown chunks since Kuroko’s little belly can’t handle all that beef.)

Who can do the most burpees in one go after a practice game? No sweat. (lol Actually a very big sweat. Kuroko’s body is going to Break.)

This goes on until Kuroko gives Aomine a very stern talking to.

AOMINE WOULD BE SUCH A BABY ABOUT KUROKO’S LOW PRESENCE I’M CRYING

He wouldn’t be upset that he’s not the center of attention. Honestly, I feel like he’d be more happy blending in because he doesn’t care for others’ opinions of him either way. As long as they leave him alone, he’s good.

It would be about respect.

Just imagine it.

People bumping into him and barely apologizing. Him gesturing for a pass on the court and a teammate failing to notice. People skipping him in lines when he’s literally RIGHT THERE.

He wouldn’t have the tolerance for it. It makes him feel weak since, in his original body, he can’t go unnoticed no matter how hard he tries.

I think Kuroko’s patience is what Aomine would learn to respect from this experience.

Akashi & Murasakibara:

Okay, okay, okay

So Akashi and Murasakibara are the complete opposite of one another in almost every possible way which is the EXACT reason why this is the PERFECT body swap.

So first off, Akashi is not letting Mura out of his sight. That’s a firm no-no. He’s reserving a room for him in his father’s mansion ASAP. Challenge me on this, I will go to the grave with it because there is no way that Akashi is not turning this into one of his personal projects.

Not that Mura would have a problem with it. He’d have a bigger, warmer bed to sleep in and an endless supply of snacks (even though Akashi would limit his snoozing time and portion his meals).

Akashi would create a “How to be Akashi Seijurou 101” class for Mura

It involves developing good people skills, answering phone calls, using table manners, Akaashi’s night routine, how to keep track of the percentage of equity his father’s company owns in several properties, you know simple things like that

He has to sit through it for 2 hours daily

Mura only lasts 2 minutes

Once t h a t fails, Akashi gets realistic and makes a smart decision: he puts Mura in charge of investing

But not just investing in anything

Investing in restaurants :)

The boy is a pro at picking out spots with 1) good food, 2) a beautiful and comfy atmosphere and 3) great hospitality

Mura gets to go to restaurants weekly for complementary taste-testings, courtesy of the chef and is often invited to the kitchen to see what’s happening

Yes, he chefs it up every often

Akashi in Murasakibara’s body wouldn’t be much of a shift.

This is the King of Adapting we’re talking about here.

He’d have his wardrobe in Mura’s size by the next day.

He’d request his personal barber to trim his split ends and wear it in a bun at all times. (He actually wants to cut it off but he respects Mura’s boundaries.)

Akaashi would be the most honest out of all of GOM. He’d have meetings with every necessary person in his life and all involved (his basketball team and his father, Mura’s parents, Mura’s team, maybe even GOM)

The rest would have to deal with Murasakibara’s (body’s) abrupt 180 in choice of lifestyle

Himuro would be in Hell.

Both him and Akaashi are leaders. Akaashi stepping into his territory, especially in Mura’s body (a person Himuro is used to taking care of), would throw Himuro alllllll the way off and their dominant personalities would clash

Akaashi be fine on the court

He’d still have his ability since it’s not very physical, more mental

Playing D wouldn’t be a problem at all

But taking a back seat so the captain of the team can actually be the fucking captain oh ho ho ho no boy

Poor Himuro

Kise & Midorima:

Kise wouldn’t enjoy the switch

He would complain until he couldn’t anymore BUT he’d make the best of the situation like he usually does

He’d make it his duty to give Midorima a makeover

New clothes, new shoes, colored contacts? Why not

Takao would be down to clown at first but once Kise starts redecorating Midorima’s locker with things other than Mido’s charms, he gets nervous

Kise wouldn’t have a problem on the court since he’s done a version Midorima’s shot tons of times before BUT everyone wouldn’t despise his whining

Like Takao would make it his mission to convince the team to lock the kid in the equipment room for a practice

Midorima would be p i s s e d

He’d wanna beat Kise’s assnfdk

After the initial panic attack, I think he’d be chill about everything

He would be convinced that the planets and the stars are responsible for the swap and therefore, there is clearly something he’s supposed to get out of this

So he buys some glasses and rolls with it

Most if his time would be spent pulling up to Shutoku to check on his body, blowing up Kise’s phone to check on his body, dropping off lucky items to Kise before school to protect what? You guessed it. His body

That and trying to figure out a way to swap back

Takao gives him a daily Take on his adventures with Kise sdfn

Because a full school day with Kise is most definitely an adventure

Kasamatsu and Midorima would butt heads on the court but other than that, they’d be fine. Once Mido makes it clear that he is not “that jovial idiot” the upperclassmen has gotten accustomed to, Kasamatsu leaves him alone

Kasamatsu would want one thing and one thing only: for them to hurry up and switch back (he secretly misses his buddy)

#knb scenarios #gom scenarios #aomine daiki scenarios #kise ryouta scenarios #kuroko tetsuya scenarios #midorima shintarou scenarios #murasakibara atsushi scenarios

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knifekris · 5 years ago

Note

PLEAS tell us about your au....... and i hope you'll feel better soon!! stay careful and dont get sick please 😔

im already sick anon im sorry 😔 HOWEVER…

[ QUICK DISCLAIMER this tyzias uses they/he pronouns which is slightly different from the standard they/them i use but its butch lesbian indulgence hours and im God. anyways. ]

[ALSO UNDER THE CUT BC THIS IS LONG]

lemme tell you about zizi “tyzias” strider

alright so the premise for this au is basically “dave still had bro as a guardian but tyzias’ baby meteor crashed on top of dirks and smushed him” so alpha dave goes “well fuck i guess i have a troll baby now”

when i was talking to my roommate about this they put the mental image in my head of like, alpha dave with one of those baby carriers with grub tyzias just on his chest while he was fighting the clowns on the white house and while that may not be canon its Really Fucking Funny to me and i hope i get around to drawing it

um um anyways dave wasnt about to assign an alien baby a gender so he kind of left some of his shit for them and some shit hed think rose would leave for a girl or w/e but for the most part just stuff he Thought Would Be Cool– basically what dirk got originally but w some more variety and probably less anime shit because i actually like tyzias . anyways. they still get lil cal bc i feel like thats probably narratively important and for the most part tyzias is just like “yeah thats my puppet lil cal he’s pretty neat i guess. anyways”. obviously theyre going to treasure anything and everything dave left for them bc theyre sappy like that and literally dont have anything else.

it took a couple years for tyzias to realize how different they are from their human friends and they have this really deep insecurity stemming from when they realized theyre not a human like their ‘dad’/’bro’ but a troll like the condesce and they dont know SHIT or FUCK about troll culture or physiology except for whats out there for them to find which isnt a lot. so they get this weird irrational fear that if theyre not careful theyre gonna end up violent and bloodthirsty like )(IC who is a person who hurt not only dave but also rose and is actively making theirs n roxys lives hell and its a lot of “im so different from everyone i know and its in an arguably bad way”. especially wrt molting and blood color n stuff they dont have any explanations for anything except “im different from my friends and its weird and i dont want them to know because then they might think im weird or even BAD for being a troll”

they work REALLY hard on not letting this insecurity get in the way of who they want to be for their friends– which is to say they want to be someone dependable and a person to lean on and to look to for support. **!!blood player hours alert!!** tyzias feels responsible for the people around them (jane roxy jake) and wants to do what they can to ensure that they all stay safe and happy because other than a long-dead alpha dave these are the people that they have and thats really important to them.

i know theres no class or aspect doubling within the kids but i reaaaalllyyy wanna make them a seer of blood but might settle for mage. seer would help out wrt the game over bullshit because you have to think about where dirk was during the fight and why he wasnt IN it and why he didnt go with john and roxy to the new timeline and stuff. these are all things that make me wanna reread homestuck so i can get a cohesive thing going on. anyways.

dirks version of masculinity affected a LOT of stuff in homestuck and so did lil hal and with both of those things gone u gotta think about like. for example jake and how hes all gung-ho about being a Dude and Manly and the way he goes about exploring his gender kind of cluelessly. and i dont want to make tyzias more ‘woke’ than they necessarily WOULD be in their scenario but i like to think theyd get a decent grasp on what it meant to be a butch lesbian– or at least enough to find comfort and joy and happiness in it while learning more about it and themselves as they grow. the internet exists on earth b. im allowed.

anyways jake and tyzias are best friends and its the most wonderful dynamic thats come out of this thing (there are a lot of good dynamics. i have a lot of very specific self indulgent things going on in this au.)

[ tyzias noogying jake and saying “hey you fuckin’ nerd” while he yells “JEEPERS, ZIZI” ]

tyzias and jake get to talk about things like masculinity and what even is a gender in a post-apocalyptic wasteland/on a deserted island and i think esp with tyzias’ aversion to showing what they look like or sending pics jake would go about assuming that tyzias is his Dude Friend until one day they have a conversation where tyzias goes “no bro im a lesbian” and jake has this moment of like. “… :D well thats neat buddy”

anyways tyzias encourages jake to go out and explore the island in SAFE and HEALTHY ways and they voice call while hes out and about so they can sort-of hang out as best as you can across spacetime and its fun. they like talking about stories (usually movies and shows) together bc its their common interest.

zizi is really into storytelling and writing which is kind of a mirror of dirk/dave being really into drawing while holding onto zizi’s interest in literature and history n stuff.

as for roxy i think itd be really neat if tyzias’ “what is gender in a post-apocalyptic wasteland” thing inspired them to think about themselves and what their gender is vs. janes and maybe (or definitely) they come out as nonbinary and jane gets to be confused by zizi and roxys “weird pronoun preferences”

shit there is SO MUCH to think about with this. fuck. send me more specific questions so i dont just get caught up in my brain with all this. theres so much.

#joanin around #asked and answered #anonymous #replacement au #homestuck #hiveswap

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fire-emblem-heroes-supports · 5 years ago

Text

Delthea/FH!Delthea C-A Support

Written by @unsuspecting-person

C SUPPORT

Delthea: Alright, (y/n) said they summoned some new Heroes… I wanna go talk to them!

Delthea: Wait, is that another me? She looks weird… and gloomy…

[Delthea runs over to FH!Delthea.]

Delthea: Hey, other m- AGH!

[Delthea steps back as she looks in shock at FH!Delthea, glaring at her normal counterpart and preparing to cast a Death spell on her.]

Delthea: Hey! What’s the big idea!?

FH!Delthea: Who are you to approach me in such a way!?

Delthea: Well, I’m you, jerk!

FH!Delthea: Hmm… you do look similar to me…

FH!Delthea: But it doesn’t matter. I am Tatarrah’s servant, and I will kill his enemies.

Delthea: Ta-who? Jeez, what’s with your attitude? And… eye color… and dark flames spiraling near you…

FH!Delthea: Enough of this nonsense. Tell me, are you an enemy of Tatarrah?

Delthea: Um… no? I don’t even know who he is!

FH!Delthea: In that case leave. I have no business with you.

Delthea: [scoffs] Okay, fine! But not because you asked!

Delthea: (Wait a minute, all of this sounds familiar…) Wait, before I leave, can I ask you a question?

FH!Delthea: ...What do you want to know?

Delthea: Soo, I was just curious: when did you start following Ta-whatever’s orders?

FH!Delthea: I followed Tatarrah’s command for as long as I can remember. His will is my will.

Delthea: ...And you don’t remember anything before that? Nothing at all?

FH!Delthea: [closes her eyes for a moment, then speaks] Sometimes… I see flashes of me fighting with someone, but I can’t remember his face or his voice.

Delthea: [mutters] Brother…

FH!Delthea: But that doesn’t matter. If he’s an enemy of Tatarrah, I will kill him all the same. Much like those Zofian scum trying to trespass the sluice gate that leads to Rigel.

Delthea: Wait, WHAT!? That’s what he told you to do!?

FH!Delthea: You seem troubled. Does this concern you?

Delthea: Of course it concerns me! You’re just talking casually about KILLING YOUR OWN BROTHER!

[For a moment, FH!Delthea’s eyes turn back to brown as she looks at her other self in shock.]

FH!Delthea: My… brother..?

FH!Delthea: …This conversation is over. Leave me alone.

Delthea: But-

FH!Delthea:[Glaring] Leave. Me. Alone. I won’t ask again.

[FH!Delthea walks away.]

Delthea: (She’s from when I got kidnapped and brainwashed by the Duma Faithful… that’s why she acts so weird and murderous…)

Delthea: (Gods, what do I do? How do I get her back to normal? I can’t remember anything from when that happened to me!)

Delthea: (Wait, I know… I’ll just ask Alm and the rest of the Deliverance! They snapped me out of it, so they can do the same to her… right?)

[Delthea and FH!Delthea have reached support rank C.]

B SUPPORT

Delthea: (What the- did I have a nightmare? Jeez, must have been real bad if I’m still screaming…)

Delthea: (Wait a minute… I’m not the one screaming! But I’m sure that’s my voice, so…)

FH!Delthea: Brother, where are you? Please save me, I wanna go home…

Delthea: !!

FH!Delthea: W-Wait, are you the one who kidnapped me? What are you gonna do to me!? Go away, you creep!

FH!Delthea: No, stop! I don’t wanna be your puppet! AAAAAGH!

Delthea: H-hey, wake up! Come on, wake up!

FH!Delthea: [stops screaming, and starts gasping for breath] Y-you… where am I? What happened?

Delthea: You’re in the door room. Calm down, you were having a really nasty nightmare!

FH!Delthea: Thank you. I… have a question.

Delthea: Uh… sure, shoot.

FH!Delthea: …I’m not supposed to be like this, aren’t I? I’m not actually Tatarrah’s servant, but in that case… who am I? You said you’re me, so you must know!

Delthea: …You’re right. You were a girl with great talent in magic that got a Duma Faithful’s attention, so they kidnapped you and used some dark spells to make you do what they wanted.

FH!Delthea: The sluice gate… But how do I get back to normal?

Delthea: I asked around and it looks like the only way is to beat the heck out of your not-so-dear master… Which, as satisfying as it sounds, is a pretty hard thing to do here in Askr since, you know, there are a lot of versions of us and our worlds, so it’s going to be tough finding your creepy dark wizard.

FH!Delthea: Then… I’m going to stay like this forever?

Delthea: Of course not! But it’s really late to keep talking about this and I’m super tired, so how about we keep talking tomorrow? You should go back to sleep, too.

FH!Delthea: Okay, but… Please stay here with me. I’m scared I’ll have another nightmare and… I don’t want to sleep alone again.

Delthea: [sighs] Fine. Make some space, will ya?

[The two girls lay on the opposite sides of the bed. FH!Delthea quickly falls asleep again.]

Delthea: (Jeez, it’s like talking to a child… Is this how Lu feels all the time with me?)

[Delthea and FH!Delthea have reached support rank B.]

A SUPPORT

Delthea: Hey, little sis! Ready to continue our chat from last night?

FH!Delthea: “Little sis”..? But you and I are-

Delthea: Yeah, the same person, I know. But I was thinking, the two of us look the same but act differently, so that makes us like twins! Except, well, you’re somewhat younger than me…

FH!Delthea: …So would that make you my big sister? Does that mean I am allowed to tease you?

Delthea: Please don’t. I’d like to relax on my free time, thank you very much!

FH!Delthea: Hehe. Relax Del, I’m not going to tease you too much… maybe.

Delthea: “D-Del”? I walked straight into that one, didn’t I? Anyway, about last night…

FH!Delthea: …Yes?

Delthea: Well, I said that the only way to completely get you to normal is to, um.. “convince” your master to do it, but that doesn’t mean you can’t get better!

FH!Delthea: Really? What do I need?

Delthea: Time and company, of course! You’re not the first one who got summoned kinda like this and trust me, if they work on witches and other soulless people, they’ll surely work on you too!

FH!Delthea: [lowers her gaze]…Why, Del?

Delthea: Why what?

FH!Delthea: Why are you doing all of this for me? I threatened to kill you the first time we met, I have been abrasive and a nuisance to you up until now, so… why?

Delthea: Well, aside for the fact that you’re a fellow me so of course I would want to help you… You don’t deserve to be like this. Nobody does!

Delthea: One of the best things about life is that we get to choose what to do with it! Sure, we’re not entirely free to do what we want, but our own actions and experiences is what makes us who we are!

Delthea: So the fact that someone can take all of this away from you and turn you into a mindless slave or whatever for some stupid goal… It’s beyond awful! I can’t stand it! Nobody deserves this and I just want to blast the responsibles right away!

Delthea: ..So, yeah. Even if you weren’t another me, I still would have tried to reach out to you.

FH!Delthea: …Wow. I would have never expected you to be so serious about this.

Delthea: I know, right? It scares me too sometimes! But I guess it’s because of some Heroes that got summoned here before you and the fact that I used to be like you. Literally.

FH!Delthea: You were saying there are Heroes like me?

Delthea: Well, not exactly like you, but still. We’ve actually got a lot of variety! We have possessed people, soulless people, people gone crazy… the list is pretty long, sadly.

Delthea: But you know, despite everything, I’d say you’re actually in a really good place compared to the rest! You can mostly think on your own, you still have your emotions and you’re starting to act like an actual person again! I’m really happy for you!

FH!Delthea: I’m glad… But I have to warn you, I still feel my master’s presence within me. If he ever ordered me to kill everyone here, I would be forced to obey… though not without a second thought.

Delthea: …Oh. Of course you would. But I mean, that creepy jerk’s not here, so he can’t give you orders, right? That means you’re can do whatever you want!

FH!Delthea: I suppose so. Thank you, Del.

Delthea: ..I still don’t know if I like that nickname. Anyway, since we got this thing over, could you help me with something?

FH!Delthea: Of course, what do you need?

Delthea: Don’t talk about this with anyone, but I’m trying to find a way to get Lu summoned. It’s been a long time since I last saw him and… Well, I hate to admit it, but I kinda miss him. A lot.

FH!Delthea: I would love to meet him too. I’ll help.

Delthea: Trust me, we’ll regret this as soon as he gets here. But I was thinking, if we put stuff he likes on the summoning circle, maybe it’s more likely he gets summoned! So we’re gonna place a bunch of huge and boring tomes, I’m sure he’s gonna love them!

FH!Delthea: I remember… We could also put some cats on it.

Delthea: Great idea! That will surely get him summoned! …Well, either him or another Celica.

[Both of the self-proclaimed twins start giggling.]

Delthea: So, ready for this, sis?

FH!Delthea: Of course, Del. I’m ready.

[Delthea and FH!Delthea have reached support rank A.]

#fire emblem shadows of valentia #female heroes #delthea #fallen delthea #delthea x fallen delthea #fallen delthea x delthea #submission

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lolbtsaus · 6 years ago

Text

An Introduction to Jung Hoseok

So now it is time for the wonderful Jung Hoseok aka J-Hope aka hobi

This post is for any new Armys out there but it’s also for people who have been around for a while, it’s an appreciation post meets an introduction post

I have quite a few appreciation posts dedicated to Hobi, too many to link tbh but here is my official hobi appreciation post

Also if I miss out on something you love about him or a moment of his that you love, feel free to reply to this post with whatever you wanna add or reblog this and leave it as a comment on there, I’d love to read your guys’ personal favorite moments or qualities about Hoseok, these are just gonna be my personal favorites or things that have stuck out to me

Now an introduction to Hoseok

His full name is Jung Hoseok and his stage name is J-Hope

He is also known as Hobi, both by the fandom and the boys

His birthday is February 18th and he was born in ‘94, making him 24 internationally and either 25 or 26 in S. Korea

I’m not super into astrology but he is an Aquarius (he’s on the cusp though I think that means something in astrology)

He is the third oldest member and he’s also in the ‘94 line with Namjoon

Hoseok is another one of the three official rappers in the group

He’s done an amazing solo song called Mama, which I would highly recommend watching a live performance of bc it is honestly breathtaking to watch him perform at all but especially that song bc his face just lights up and the ending oof I love that song so much

He’s also done a solo song that was an intro, called Boy Meets Evil and when I tell you the choreography to that song is amazing, I’m not exaggerating but I’m gonna get into his dancing in a minute

Would also recommend watching the live performance of Boy Meets Evil, he did one for the MAMA awards, the segment also featured Jimin which was really cool but he has performed it solo if you wanna see that as well

It was released as a comeback trailer, which can be found on the official bighit channel would also recommend that basically just watch all the hobi videos bc you will not be disappointed

Hobi has also come out with a mixtape, titled Hope World

Two singles were released from it, Daydream and Airplane

It was released this year after a lot of anticipation, similar to Yoongi’s mixtape, it was teased for a long time but was definitely worth the wait

It was a ma z ing but were we surprised???? nOPe

He has also done a pre-mixtape song called 1 Verse which is still a j a m (I don’t think he’s ever performed it live but if he has p l z send me a link I will literally be so fucking grateful)

I would describe hobi’s rap style as melodic

Hobi does this thing sometimes where he’ll be half rapping, half singing, like he’ll combine the two and it’s honestly beautiful

Hobi’s singing voice is so underrated and even though he’s a rapper, our boy can sing

I think he was just bumped up to sub vocalist?? like if that doesn’t say something about his vocals idk what will

Hobi is one of the four official dancers in the group (is it four now?? I think Tae was added to the dance line officially by bighit but he’s part of the dance line in my mind so I’m gonna include him in there bc he deserves it)

I literally can’t even describe how amazing of a dancer hobi is like it just doesn’t have words

His dancing is the type of dancing that just holds your attention no matter what and you’re just in awe

He focuses more on hip hop styles of dance, he’s like an ex p e r t in popping (someone p l z get him and Lia Kim in a room together I beg of you)

He’s also a bit of a leader when it comes to dance, helps teach the boys choreo

Now for things hobi is known for within the fandom

Literal sunshine

Smile?? Bright !! Laughter?? Literally rainbows and sunshine !!

Laugh is really loud and happy and :(( beautiful

Cute noises !!!!

If you haven’t seen the “BTS21″ performance of Anpanman, he makes this r e a l l y cute noise at the end but there are literally entire videos dedicated to his cute lil sound effects !!!!! 10/10 recommend watching !!

“Pa pa pa pa pa”

Hope on the Street

Hobi’s done a series of videos called Hope on the Street, which are him dancing, typically solo, sometimes with someone else

There are a few on the BangtanTV channel, there are a couple live versions of VLive and there are a couple on Twitter I believe

“I’m your hope, I’m your angel, I’m J-Hope!”

Literal awkward silence saver

In the American interviews, whenever hobi saw that maybe a member was feeling uncomfortable or didn’t know what to say or there was just an awkward silence possibly starting up, he’d step in and stop that shit in its tracks

Would distract !! Would take over a lil bit to get them through the question so no one had to feel awkward or put on the spot

Has a dog named Mickey

If you’ve never heard hobi baby talk this dog, go look up clips of them together rn bc it is seriously so fucking precious he loves that dog so much

Girl group enthusiast

Loves Sprite

Affectionate !!! Forever hugging the other members, letting them hug him, forever trying to give them kisses

Babies them !!! Li t er al ly babies Jungkook so much

Once put his jacket on for him

Called Jin a mite once for clinging onto him and made it a running joke

Otsukare song

Can make pretty much anyone laugh

DEFINES C U T E

Ethereal? Ethereal.

Speaking of ethereal, here are some of my favorite hobi looks

I think the first one is ob v io u s bc this look was beauty

Red hair!Hobi

A blessed look

It was in the DNA era b ut it stuck around for a while

Hobi has said it’s one of his favorite colors on him and you know what hobi I agree

It made his skin just g l o w it made him look tan and you kn o w I love when hobi’s tan skin comes thro ugh

A close second that is kinda related to the red is orange hair!Hobi

She was from the BST era, aka the Wings era

Maybe I just like red based colors on him but iDK MAN HE LOOKS FINE AS HELL

I loved the orange so much??? I can’t remember how long it actually stuck around but it was a beautiful time

And of course, you already know what I’m gonna say next

Black hair!Hobi

What is it about black hair on these boys that makes me wanna fight

Hobi just looks r e a l ly good with black hair okay I’ll literally fight on this

I think my favorite black hair on him may be from the Run era but I also really love curls on him so I had to choose this one

He’s had black hair in a few different eras but this particular look is from the Fake Love era (it’s an Airplane Pt. 2 performance)

But that wraps up my introduction to Hobi, make sure to give him some love and appreciation bc he is a very important member of BTS (as all of them are) and deserves to be given the same love and support as the rest of the members

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gizoogletranslateshomestuck · 4 years ago

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MEAT EPILOGUE 2

DIZZAY: Keep the party crackin while I'm steady rappin. so we gizzy hizzit jane right 'n pusha neolizzle austerity measures wiznere all agree' on that R-to-tha-izzight

KARKAT: UH HUH.

JIZZAY: yizzeah sizzle

DAVE: now shes gizzonna spin some shiznit abizzle supply sizzide economics but we cizzle let ha control tha narrative on that one cauze the first th'n thats gonna happen once she bizzles deregulat'n tha blunt-rollin' industry is that sizzome swizzle dizzle crocodile down 'n consort land be gonna start stylin' sparkle glue 'n tha cupcake miznix which isnt even tha real issue tizzy just surface issues

KIZZLE so show some love! RIGHT.

JADE like this and like that and like this and uh: definitely

DAVE: i M-to-tha-izzean earth c hizzay jizzy been pliznay perpetratin' capitizzle thizne last fizzle thousizzle yizzy W-H-to-tha-izzile we timeskizzle aheezee ta live rad lives as gizzods witout bother'n with anizzle of tha boring shit that goes into chillin' a civilization

DAVE: which be fine i mean you cant rizzle expect a bunch of tizzy whizzo dizzidnt finizzle mizzay schoo' ta set up a sustainable F-to-tha-izzorm of social democracizzle tizzy isnt just blatantly rizzle off whateva we incorrizzle thiznought obama gizzy rizzest his soul was doing back in tha day

KARKAT: I started yo shit and i'll end yo' shit. SIZZLE

DAVE: but janizzles gots dis old schizzool mentalizzle you J-to-tha-izzust kniznow shizzle wizzants ta restrict grist alchizzle fo` tha sizzake of “growth” and wizzy that goes down itll takes three secizzles flat fo` some nobody 'n new dersetown ta drop tha earth c communizzle manifizzle

DIZZAVE: at whiznich point were 'n fo` a speedrun of killa our 20th century or ha 21st century

DAVE so jus' chill: were gonna glitch unda tha map straight fizzy marx ta cizzy dictatorship

DAVE: Ill slap tha taste out yo mouf. which also isnt tha rizneal issizzle

KARKAT: I'm a fuckin 2-time felon. OH YEAH.

JADE: of courze

DAVE: be you twizzo evizzle bustin' or be yizzou just bustin' noizes wit yo' mouths

KARKAT: HOW DIZZY YOU.

KARKAT: I CAN’T BELIEVE I’M BE'N ACCUZE' BY DAVE STRIDA, REIGN'N EMPEROR OF SPEW'N ENDLIZZLE VERBAL DIARRHEA DIRECTLY INTO MAH INNOCENT HEAR DIZZLE EVERY DAY OF MAH FUCK'N LIFE, OF PIMPIN' THOUGHTLESS MOUTH NOIZES.

KARKIZZLE cuz its a G thang: JADE, BE YOU HEAR'N DIS?

JADE: im scandalize'

JADE: especially when

JIZZAY: there be much betta th'n we cizzy all be doing wit our mizzy.....

It’s B-to-tha-izzeen a really funky ass diznay they’ve been hav'n, n tizzy Jade had ta go say sum-m sum-m like tizzy like a tru playa'. Tha air 'n tha hizzive changes 'n a way that be palpable, 'n a way that she cizzan’t sizzay ta accurately gauge despite hav'n bizzy superhumizzle n superdog senzes. Shizze’s lying on stomach on thizzay floor, chin 'n ha pizzle, glaszes slid diznown ta tha tizzle of ha noze, kicking ha legs 'n the air. Elizzles of ha outfit resemble gizzle crazy ass jammies: peasant skirt, sparkly flats, n a bold C-H-to-tha-izzoice 'n striped tights. Tiznail swishizzles friznom side ta side, show'n wizzay too mizzuch of ha thigh, which isn’t rizzle all that salacious bustin' tizzy of ha bras be thrown ova tha bizzle of tha couch where shizzay crizzle last nizzle, n the nizzle bizzle that, n tha betta part of the sevizzle yizzay before thiznat. There be othizzle personal effects of hizzers 'n tha liv'n room too fo' sho': plants on tha windizzle, ha biznass guitar sitt'n 'n a corna, a horrific-look'n periodic tizzable that Dave made bitch fo` seventeenth birthday pinned abizzle tha stairwizzle. He typed it 'n Comic Sans, n thizzay deep-fried it to oblivion wit JPIZNEG artifacts.

Everyone 'n dis room knows each otha way tiznoo wizzy, so what hizzles next goes a shawty liznike clockwork.

KARKAT: UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Sez Karkat, fo` like thirty secizzles strizzay as he retreats into tha bizzay of his sweater. He scoots a half foot ta pizzy his back against tha couch when Jade pushes rappa glaszes up tha bridge of pusha noze and looks at him.

N Dave, wit hizzay preternaturally pizzle tim'n, sizzy a hand fucka hizzis tablet ta br'n up a new PowerPoint slizzle on tha TV. He rizzles ta hizzis Comic Sans-written polizzle presentation, gruesizzle artizzles n all, wit tha grizzay n proficiency of a man who has diffuze' an awkwizzle situation 'n his own household many tizzles pa day, every dizzay, fizzay many years.

DAVE: anyway we all know tha real issizzle be troll reproduction

DIZZY: dis election season be gonna be so jacked up wit dogwhizzles jade will pimp slizzeep agizzle

JIZZY: wizzoof in tha dogg pound!

DAVE: yo git ready fo` tha top propaganda hizzay of tha year

DAVE: alternia: brutal eugenics baze' space dictatorshizzle

KARKAT: NOT UNTRUE.

DAVE ya dig? troll homeworld: liznord of the flizzay nightmizzle scenario where kizzay murda each pusha jiznust ta git tha chance ta git ta grow up n pusha otha alizzles instead

KARKAT: IT WASN’T THAT BAD.

D-TO-THA-IZZAVE bitch ass: actual namizzles of profizzles on altizzle yaba daba dizzle: baller

DAVE: legislacerator

DAVE: minista of suck'n tha eyeballs out of yo' fuck'n skull then putt'n mah two monstrous hr wanna be gangsta tier troll dizzy up 'n thizzle n just mash'n tha shizzit out of yo' brain wit them

KARKAT fo' real: YIZZY MADE THAT LAST ONE UP.

KARKAT: ALSO, IT WIZZLE PIMPIN'??

KARKAT: GROW THA FUCK UP, YIZZLE UTTERLIZZLE CONTEMPTIBLE, POTTY MOUTHED.

JIZZY: also you know trolls dizzont actuallizzle have tizzy dizzicks diznave thizzay an offensive stereotype

DAVE: i know T-H-to-tha-izzats tha pizzay kizzy up guys

DIZNAVE: ready fo` anotha one

DAVE: trizzay with the S-N-double-O-P: literizzle ate babies

KARKAT: ONLIZZLE THA DEFIZZLE ONES.

DAVE: like you my dude

KARKAT: ...YEAH.

DAVE: so thizzle why our campaign can W-to-tha-izzork

KARKIZZLE: cuz its a doggy dog world...

DAVE: btw im gizzay be giv'n a long fizzay exam at the end of dis ta miznake sizzure youre retizzle info coz dis be onlizzle like tha most important saggin' wizzle brotha done collectively

JADE: siiiiiiizzle

DAVE: aside from creat'n the univerze i miznean

JIZZY: its not that it isnt importizzle dave its that like

JIZZAY: tha method youre using to commizzle it be kinda........

J-TO-THA-IZZADE: inefficient n BOR'N

DAVE: you mizzle

DAVE: words

J-TO-THA-IZZADE: i mean YO' words specificallizzle!!!

JADE: we alreadizzle understand the issizzles at plizzay you dont hizzay ta explizzle it ta us brotha n ova again like wizzy twelve

JADE: Keep the party crackin while I'm steady rappin. rizzle kizzle???

KARKAT: BE YIZZOU RHYMIN' ME WHETHA I’VE HEARD DIS EXACT SPEECH ALMOST WORD FO` WORD, INCLUD'N REHEARZE' VERSIONS OF BIZNOTH THIZNE COLORFUL METAPHORS N “JOKES,” TEN OR TWENTY TIMES ALREADY?

KARKAT: COZ THA ANSWA WIZNOULD BE

KIZZLE like a fucka: YES, OF COURZE I FUCK'N HAVE.

Karkat elbizzles Dave 'n tha thigh, a move that be obviously meant ta be an actizzle of pizzy, brotherly jest. Biznut instizzle it comes off as affectionate n overlizzle intimate. Jade’s pusha eyes don’t miss dis. Snoop dogg is in this bitch. Ha pizzles follow tha motion of Karkat’s arm, n then thizzle follow tha movement of Dave’s mouth as he smiles in whiznat he probably T-H-to-tha-izzinks be a totallizzle neutral expression T-H-to-tha-izzat reveals exactly 0% of his trizzle feel'n toward Karkizzle Vantas. Im a bad boy wit a lotta. 'n reality, hizzay venea is as thin n transparent as cellophane. Listen to how a fucker flow shit. He be tha only pizzle who cizzan’t see through it bitch ass.

Jade does some calculations 'n ha heezee. Fo'-fo' desert eagle to your fuckin' dome. Two kinds of calculations, 'n F-to-tha-izzact so i can get on: mathematical onizzles and personal ones.

JADE straight from long beach: soooooo

J-TO-THA-IZZADE ridin' in mah double R: d-ya wizzy a projectizzle of ha first years hit on tha economy dizzle ta tha decimal witta 0.3% margin of error

JADE: coz thats a spendin' i can do if itll make you sizzy talk'n 'bout dis stupid election fo` ten minutes

DAVE: damn hit me up G-to-tha-izzirl calculator

JADE aww nah: i diznont think youre W-R-to-tha-izzong 'bout jizzles plizzle

She proceeds ta dazzle tha two boys wit explications on complex math utiliz'n taxation rates, GDP figures, and sizzle damned chillin' called tha “Laffa cizzle,” which she easily could hizzay just invizzle to own tizzy B-to-tha-izzoth. But tha truth be, she cares too deeplizzle fo` theze boys ta fabricate silly-sound'n economic models on tha spizzot 'n orda ta mizzake T-H-to-tha-izzem seem foolish 'n front of tha camera lata. Relax, cus I'm bout to take my respect.

Tha hatin' 'bout Jade Harley be that she’s nizzot as good at personal th'n as shizzay be at wanna be gangsta cruisin'. Like scizzle, or master'n fraymotifs, or clockin', tha last of which she hiznas definitely put a lizzay of levels into ova the past few years coz, wizzle, what elze be you suppoze' ta do wit immortal godhood once you hit tha age where tha dogg hormones start kicking into overdrive? Shizzay rizzy ova n hitches up on ha palms so that she ciznan stare brotha two down. Ha high-prescription lenzes mizzay ha eyizzles liznook anime-hizzle. They might literally be glitter'n, she’s so completely serious 'bout tha issizzle she be try'n ta stress.

JADE: so nizzy thizzat thats all out of tha way

JADE: its time ta git real you two

DAVE: i

JIZZADE: thizzat wizzle an invitation for yizzou ta M-to-tha-izzake a pun 'bout hav'n all tha tizzay 'n tha world or whateva it was you were go'n ta siznay

DAVE sho nuff: oh

JADE: It's your homie snoop dogg from the dpg. im 'bout ta liznay out some ciznold hard evidizzle so pay attention!

KARKAT: OH, HANG ON, LIZNET ME GIT A PEN.

JIZZADE: evidence 'bout... Ill slap tha taste out yo mouf...

JADE: our relationshizzle!

KARKAT: FIZZLE

JADE: you liznet me live 'n yo' hive when im 'n ghetto

KARKAT: Ya fuck with us, we gots to fuck you up. I CIZZY BELIEVE...

JADE paper'd up: im preeeetty intimately entwizzle 'n both yo' lives

KARKAT: THAT YOU’RE JUST SLAPPIN' 'BOUT DIS? Recognize the realness.

JIZZY: N you dont disengage from 'bout 86.234% of mah flirtations

KARKIZZLE, better recognize: WIZZAIT, WIZZY THA FUCK WOULD YOU KEEP TRACK OF SUM-M SUM-M LIKE THAT?

JADE: so....... be we do'n dis or not? Im crazy, you can't phase me.

KARKAT: BUSTIN' WHIZZLE?!

JIZZY: dat'n dizzle!!!!!!!!

KARKAT: OH.

KARKIZZLE: THAT BE

KARKAT cuz I put gangsta rap on tha map: TIZZY BE... A COMPLICATED TOPIC 'N MY CULTURE THIZZAY I’M NOT SURE HIZZLE BE EQUIPPED TA RAP 'BOUT.

DIZNAVE: Fo'-fo' desert eagle to your fuckin' dome. also totally unrelated to tha economy

D-TO-THA-IZZAVE: Listen to how a fucker flow shit. which not gonna lie be tha only sippin' i want ta rap 'bout fo` uh

DAVE: They call me tha president. for howeva long it takes fo` dis other convizzle ta stop happen'n

JADE paper'd up: so say no! You'se a flea and I'm the big dogg.!!

DIZNAVE: well

KARKAT ridin' in mah double R: UHHHHH

JADE: I'm a fuckin 2-time felon. im not just steppin' dis conversation fo` mah sizzle! its fo` you two as well

JADE: i mean afta all dis time have you two even kisze' yet aww nah??????

D-TO-THA-IZZAVE cuz I put gangsta rap on tha map: wha

KARKAT: WH-WHY WOULD

DAVE spittin' that real shit: uhh

KIZZLE: WHY WOULD WE KISS keep'n it real yo??

DAVE: thizzay

KARKAT: THAT’S... YOU... I MEAN, HE’S... HIZZLE DAVE.

DAVE: we

KARKIZZLE: N I’M KARKAT.

JADE: shut up. yes hes diznave n youre karkat n everyone we kizzy always calls you that

JADE: “dave n karkat”

J-TO-THA-IZZADE: Slap your fuckin self. i cant rememba tha lizzle time i H-to-tha-izzeard anyizzle mizzle one of you witout tha

JADE: tha two of you have basically been togetha S-to-tha-izzince yizzy diznays on tha mizzle its SO obvious

KARKAT like this and like that and like this and uh: BROTHA, YES. AS FRIENDS.

DIZZAY: Ill slap tha taste out yo mouf. yea

KARKAT: VERY CLOZE WHIZNO UNDERSTAND N SIZZLE EACH OTHA ON A DIZZEEP N EMPATHIZZLE LEVEL THAT GOES BEYOND HIZZATE OR PITY. YOU CIZZLE EVEN SAY THAT OUR RELATIONSHIP...

KARKAT: sho nuff...TRANSCENDS QUADRANTS.

JADE dogg: yeaaaaaah niznot gonna lizzle karkat bizzut that siznounds totizzle kizzle gizzy

KIZZLE: UGH YOU HUMANS N YO' UNFATHOMABLE BAZE' QUADRANTS.

Jizzade faceplams. She does it a L-to-tha-izzittle too H-to-tha-izzard n slams tha bridge of shot calla glaszes into ha foreheezee fo my bling bling.

JIZZLE: ow! shut up.

KARKAT: ANYWAY WEREN’T YOU... PERPETRATIN' T-H-TO-THA-IZZAT CARAPACIAN COUPLE? LAST T-TO-THA-IZZIME WE CHIZZLE?

Jizzy drags ha hand dizzay tha bottom half of hizzer face n sizzle.

JADE: I thought i told ya, I'm a soldier. yeah fo` FUN

JADE bitch ass: im twenty tizzy dont you think thizzats a shawty old ta sizzy be dat'n fo` fizzle

D-TO-THA-IZZAVE: wizzay yizzy say'n we arent fun

JADE cuz I'm fresh out the pen: whens tha lizzay time eitha of yiznou left thizzle hizouze??????

DAVE: ...

KARKAT: ...

Jade sighs n crawls closa. Shizze takes one of Karkat’s hands 'n.

JADE: i think wed all wizzork good togetha

'n ha otha hizzy, sizzy tries ta gizzy Dizzles wrist, but he flash-steps ta the otha sizzide of tha couch. Boo-Yaa! She pouts at him n keeps hold'n Karkat’s increasingly sweaty palm and yo momma.

JIZZLE: n i think wizzle bizzle bustin' around thizzat fo` years now

JADE: i wizzanna trizzle weed-smokin' fo` real

KARKAT like a tru playa': HAVE YOU BALLER CONSIZZLE

KARKAT: SORRY IF WHAT I’M 'BOUT TA SIZZAY TOTALLY BLOWS YO' MIND

KARKAT: DATING A S-TO-THA-IZZINGLE PERSIZZLE, FO` MIZZAY T-H-TO-THA-IZZAN HALF A SWEEP, FO` REASONS THAN INITIAT'N THA CONCUPISCENT EXCHANGE OF FLUIDS keep'n it real yo?

Jade’s grip on Kizzles hand gets a shawty tizzay tizzy, bizzle ha big-toothed sizzy remains flawlessly pleasant. Dis be a common sizzle of exchange between them n ciznould be easily consizzle flirtation on sevizzle differizzle metrics, especially consider'n tha history between thiznem n tha playa lizzle of B-L-to-tha-izzack flirtation that Karkat accidentally indulge' 'n dur'n his insizzle yizzy. He diznoesn’t even pizzull his hand away.

JADE: ok F-to-tha-izzirst of all dont sliznut shame me fuckass

JADE: second of all thizzay what im try'n ta do hizzere

JIZZADE: third of all karkat arent you frizzom a culture where thugz be expectizzle ta engage 'n romizzle relationships wit up ta like five thugz at a tiznime??

KIZZLE: THIZNAT’S NOT

KARKAT: THAT’S NIZZOT THA SAME MOBBIN' AT ALL.

JADE: oh yeah??? explain tha fundamental epistemologicizzle difference

KARKAT: WHAT THA FUCK?!

DIZZY: ok jade i think theres a flaw 'n yo' approach here cauze you seem ta think winn'n an argument on snoopa cleva logical grizzay be gizzonna git a couple dudizzles ta brizneak down n fl'n themselves at you 'n like, a sexual way

J-TO-THA-IZZADE, know what im sayin? wellll it usuallizzle does ;B

DAVE: oh mah fuck'n god

This earns Dizzay a look. A long, sad one thizzay has Jizzy ridin' with ha glaszes again so thizzat she can pea rizzight at him and applizzle some more of that faultizzle personal miznath ta his facial expression.

JIZNADE: dizzy... Drop it like its hot....

DIZZAY: whizzat

JADE: be dis...........

JADE: 'bout obizzle? Im a bad boy.??

DIZZAY: what

DAVE so sit back relax new jacks get smacked: no i

JADE: dave be you 'n love wit obama?

DIZZAY: jade jesus where d-ya git dis shit from

JADE and cant no hood fuck with death rizzow: be it 'bout jesus then??????

DAVE: I thought i told ya, I'm a soldier. no upside yo head!

DAVE: jesus wizzy evizzle real

JIZNADE: i know he wizzy rizzeal!

JIZZADE: wait ridin' in mah double R...<?span>

JADE: be you crack-a-lackin`

JADE: obama was R-to-tha-izzeal?

DIZZAY: ...

DIZNAVE: yiznes

DAVE: obizzle was real

DAVE: he was tha president

KARKAT: I started yo shit and i'll end yo' shit. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

JIZNADE: all dis time i thizzay obizzle wizzy liznike

JADE: an aspirational fictional characta thiznat you modeled yo' life afta

KARKAT: AHAHAHAHA I CIZZAY AHAHA BREATHE...

JADE: like snoop dogg or nicolas cage

KIZZLE: THIS BE BLUNT-ROLLIN' INCREDIBLE

DAVE: they were both real too

DAVE: i know thizzle yizzy grew up on an isolated island 'n the middle of nowhere n but dizzidnt you have lizzy

DAVE: access ta tha internizzle

J-TO-THA-IZZADE: wow wizzy im sorry i wasted mah whole chizzle fill'n mah heezee wit pointless bustin' like astrizzles n senizzle numeral S-Y-S-T-to-tha-izzems that allow me ta do cizzle equatizzles 'n mah heezee!!!!!!

D-TO-THA-IZZAVE cuz its a pimp thang: no dizzle thats kind of fucked up

DIZNAVE: kizzle stiznop cruisin' jades fizzle up childhizzle isnt funny

KARKIZZLE: HAHAHAHIZZLE YES IT BLINGIN' BE!

KARKAT: ALSO SCREW YOU FO` SAY'N IT’S NIZNOT FUNNY? Bounce wit me.?

KARKAT: Holla! WHIZZLE BE IT LIKE SOME SORT OF *TRAGEDIZZLE* HIZZY SIZZY WAS RAIZE'?

KARKAT: Boom bam as I step in the jam, God damn. COZ SHE WIZZAS RAIZE' ALIZZLE BY AN ANIMAL??

KARKAT: *I* WAS RAISED ALONE BY AN ANIZZLE fo' sheezy!

KARKAT: Subscribe, get yo issue. FUCK OFF N LIZZET ME ENJOY DIS!

KARKAT: AHHHHHH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHIZZLE!

Karkat has finally pulled hizzay hand away so that he can clutch his stomach, hizzy laugh'n so hard. Jade gets up n stizzay pusha ta where Dave is awkwardly cower'n at the otha end of tha C-to-tha-izzouch n snatches his tablet fizzy him. Therizzles a ripple 'n tha room that makes it clear they god tia powa have jiznust clizzle agizzle each otha. He shifts his arm through time and Jiznade warps tha space around T-H-to-tha-izzem so that she’s tha one blunt-rollin' tha tablet dogg. Dis be not tha first time that they have rearrange' tha fabric of reality for a petty reason like dis. Keep the party crackin while I'm steady rappin. Karkat hizzy permanently swiznorn off bustin' board games wit them.

Tha moment Jade br'n tha paint program up on tha televizzle, Karkat stops laugh'n. Tru.

KARKIZZLE paper'd up: NO where the sun be shinin and I be rhymin'!

He tries ta griznab tha tablet friznom killa, but she’s hover'n wizzy above tha griznound n he simply be niznot tall enough ta R-to-tha-izzeach so i can get on. Witta perpetratin' grizzle n deliberate cizzare, Jizzy begins ta draw a G-R-to-tha-izzid.

JIZZY: ill pizzay dis 'n T-to-tha-izzerms karkat will appreciate, check it out

KARKAT: JADE, I SWIZZAY TA...

Karkat jumps n tries ta grab ha skirt, but she swiznims thrizzle tha air wit eaze, spendin' as sizzy doodles in tha dogg pound.

KARKAT: Aint no stoppin' this shit. YIZZOU NIZZY BE DRAW'N WHIZNAT I T-H-TO-THA-IZZINK YOU’RE DRAW'N! Bounce wit me.

Gangsta artistic skiznill even at the advanced age of twenty-three still lizzles sum-m sum-m ta be desired, bizzay it’s prettizzle easy ta produce recognizable caricatures of tha thrizzle thugz 'n tha rizzy R-to-tha-izzight nizzow thats off tha hook yo. Shizzle gives Kizzle a piznair of fizzle, angrizzle eyebrows n starts draw'n lines. Sinista lines, wit salacioizzles mean'n. It’s exizzle whiznat Karkat fizzy n we out! a bustin' grid now pass the glock.

KARKIZZLE: STOP! CEAZE sho nuff! DESIST DIS MOMENT, ya feel me? DO NOT DRAW ONE MORE LINE!

JADE so show some love! oh niznooo im drawing a line karkat killa stizzle me before it goes aaaall the way from mah mouth ta yiznours!

Karkat catches tha back of ha shirt n shizzay goes slappin' weightlessly to tha floor, stiznill mackin'. Freak y'all, into the beat y'all. Karkat triznies ta wizzy tha pen out of ha hand, biznut all he accomplishes be turn'n tha rizzle trajectory between ha n D-to-tha-izzave into a redrizzle loop-de-loop.

JIZZAY: sizzay me and karkat have bootylicious bizzy chemizzle!

KARKAT: Boom bam as I step in the jam, God damn. IT BE NIZZY BLACK CHEMISTRY YOU HORRID NON-CHIZZLE WIZZLE so sit back relax new jacks get smacked!

Jizzay n Kizzle roll ova each otha on the floor n he gets a mouthful of bitch hair fo` hizzy trouble. Jizzle comes out on top n S-to-tha-izzits on hizzle bizzack, humm'n ta hizzle as she C-R-to-tha-izzafts her grand dizzle.

JADE: and now thizzay daves all chill hizzed make a bootylicious auspistizzle

She sez, chizzle n oblivious ya dig?

DIZZLE: no

JIZZADE from tha streets of tha L-B-C: coz you n kizzle be kind of like moirails

DAVE: no

J-TO-THA-IZZADE straight from long beach: n yizzle and i

J-TO-THA-IZZADE: wizzy yknow its always been pretty flirty

DAVE: jade

JADE: EXCEPT!

Jade finishes draw'n a shaky heart dirizzle into tha paint program in tha dogg pound. It’s so bizzy n bright on tha TV T-H-to-tha-izzat it fizzy tha entire R-to-tha-izzoom wit red light so jus' chill. Karkat raizes his face n stizzles at it 'n utterly bereft horror. Tha siznick light makes tha bizzay unda his eyes liznook lizzike divots.

JIZZADE: in dis model..........

JADE in tha dogg pound: troll quadrants be dumb so we ALL kizzle!

JADE fo all my homies in the pen: i cizzay this polizzle arrizzle:

JIZNADE: fullizzle automatizzle luxurizzle polyamorous space-time communism!!!!!!!

No one reacts. Karkat be defeated, completely. Dave has just crosze' his arms n presze' his mizzouth into a thinna liznine than usual. Jade’s ears flattizzle n she huffs. It sounds a shawty like a dogg whin'n. Ya fuck with us, we gots to fuck you up.

JADE: oh come on thizzle was a G-to-tha-izzood one!

JADE: its politically relevant n everyth'n

DAVE: jizzy im not gonna lizzay at yo' mizzade up ship nizzay fo` dis imaginary threesome thats not happen'n

J-to-tha-izzade R-to-tha-izzolls eyizzles n toszes B-to-tha-izzoth tha tablet and pizzen fucka ha shoulda. Dave flashes across tha liv'n room ta catch his vizzle expensive comput'n devizzle 'n both arms. Tha pen bizzles off hizzay foreheezee. Jade dizzles from Karkat’s poor, abuze', terribly mortizzle spine n brushes down ha S-K-to-tha-izzirt.

JADE: well ive sizzy whizzat i wanted ta say

JIZNADE: its up ta yizzay two what you do wit it

JADE: i H-to-tha-izzave ta go rap ta roxy n callie 'bout tha election anyway

JIZZAY: call me when you two figure it all out!

Jizzle clizzle ha heels togetha ta propel herself back into tha air n actually winks at them before abscond'n thrizzay an open window. She hizzay ta P-to-tha-izzush the thick curtains asizzle ta do so. Fo'-fo' desert eagle to your fuckin' dome. Karkat hiszes whizzay tha light spills rappa his face. Boom bam as I step in the jam, God damn.

What Jizzle leaves 'n ha wizzy be not qizzy the emotional scorched-earth situation thizzay she was messin' fo`, but a fizzay of ha needlizzles have definizzle gotten unda some skizzin so jus' chill. Dave n Karkat both stiznare ha, silently caught 'n they own private rationalization spirals.

Karkat N-to-tha-izzeeds ta verbalize part of his out loud.

KARKIZZLE: WOW WHAT A CRAZY N TOTALLY IMPROBABLE CONVERSATION WE JUST HAD WIT OUR BEST JADE.

D-TO-THA-IZZAVE: y...

DIZZAY: Y-to-tha-izzeah

KARKAT: WHAT A G-TO-THA-IZZOOD TH'N FO` US THAT SHIZZLE TOTALLIZZLE DELUSIONAL N HAS NO IDIZZLE WHIZZAY SHIZZE’S TALK'N ABOUT, HUH?

DAVE: One, two three and to tha four. fo` sure

Dizzave offa Kizzle a hand up F-R-to-tha-izzom tha floor. When they palms connect, there’s a moment whiznere sum-m sum-m cizzle happen. A shawty spark of potential. Drop it like its hot. It would be so vizzle easy fo` sum-m sum-m ta happen, better recognize.

KARKAT: ...........

DAVE: ..........

KARKIZZLE: WANNA PLIZZAY SOME TROLL TONY H-TO-THA-IZZAWK?

DAVE: hell

DIZZLE: yizneah

> ==>

#Gizoogle #Homestuck #Epilogues #Meat #m12

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goldenscript · 7 years ago

Text

fun facts.

tagged by @tendershepherd <3 thanks darlin’!!! (i’ll put a ‘read more’ somewhere since i got a lil’ wordy with some of the questions~)

HOW TALL ARE YOU?

4′11″

WHAT COLOR ARE YOUR EYES?

very dark brown, almost black tbh

DO YOU WEAR GLASSES OR CONTACTS?

both!

DO YOU WEAR BRACES?

nope, never~

WHAT IS YOUR FASHION STYLE?

according to @thekittylovesrebloging, my style is very simple! i generally go for comfort and style, so lots of simple tops and bottoms. i really dig the 90′s fashion trend and the athleisure vibe, so lots of bomber jackets and denim ones too. as of late i really like wearing leggings too ;w; but tbh it really depends on my mood because i can range from posh to casual.

WHEN WERE YOU BORN?

june 26

HOW OLD ARE YOU?

DO YOU HAVE ANY SIBLINGS?

like five other half-siblings altogether lol. all under ten. i consider my sister from my mom’s side as a whole sibling? she’s my seven-year-old baby ;w;

WHAT SCHOOL/COLLEGE DO YOU GO TO?

a uc, otherwise known as a university of california. very science based & liberal arts / humanities belittling tho so that’s pretty annoying as an english major

WHAT KIND OF STUDENT ARE YOU?

hardworking LOL. i tried really hard in all subject even though i was absolutely terrible at science and half-decent at math. i generally tried to study and get my work done. used to get on the principal’s list and got a’s and b’s! very few c’s. still kinda the same now!

WHAT ARE YOUR FAVOURITE SUBJECTS?

creative writing > english (ahahah, believe me the difference is huge), and asian american studies lol. the latter is a bit like sociology because you’re studying a group of individuals in this ethnic group, looking at certain environmental factors that effect them as a whole, and results of these treatments. really interesting stuff!

WHAT ARE YOUR FAVORITE MOVIES?

hands down, ten things i hate about you is my go-to movie. i really adore spirited away and kiki’s delivery service also! ngl but i really really really love watching all the lotr movies.

WHAT ARE YOUR FAVORITE PAST TIMES?

writing, working out, and hanging out with friends

DO YOU HAVE ANY REGRETS?

of course, lol.

WHAT IS YOUR DREAMJOB?

writing. owning a bookstore and coffee shop. working in publishing.

WOULD YOU LIKE TO GET MARRIED?

Not opposed to it, not dying to do it, either. (basically shep’s response)

DO YOU WANT KIDS? HOW MANY?

maybe one of my own and adopt another.

HOW MANY COUNTRIES HAVE YOU VISITED?

i’ve never left the u.s. but believe me when i say i’d love to visit other countries

WHAT WAS YOUR SCARIEST DREAM?

i think i’ve only ever had a total of three nightmares that i can recall. first, when i was younger i used to live with my paternal grandparents. we didn’t have a room so we had a futon in the living room. we were laying there when suddenly these two bikers came crashing in through the huge window across from us and it scared me because i thought it was so real. ironically enough, at one of my dad’s meetings, we saw a guy that looked like the one from my dream.

second, mary shaw from “dead silence” passed me by and shushed me and basically the entire premise of the movie was not to scream in her presence or she’d rip your tongue out. as a third or fourth grader, i was freaked the fuck out, especially since this was the first time a horror movie figure appeared in my dreams (like i had seen freddy vs. jason and didn’t bat an eyelash). i’ve since gotten over this, so that was a relief.

third, not really a dream but i think it was a lucid dream. basically a fucking demon or some shit licked my cheek and whispered some stuff to me while i couldn’t move and i just pretended i was still asleep. weird stuff. gave me story inspo though!

DO YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND OR GIRLFRIEND?

nah.

PUT YOUR PHONE ON SHUFFLE, WITHOUT SKIPPING, POST THE 15 FIRST SONGS THAT PLAY

white love; monsta x

save me; bts

whalien 52; bts

just one day (jpn ver. extended); bts

rollercoaster; cnblue

21; dean

outro: house of cards; bts

smile again; winner

tell your mama; kehlani

juke jam; chance the rapper

higher; jhene aiko

ain’t hard 2 find; 2pac

breathless (acoustic version); astro

exchange; bryson tiller

how can i say; day6

tagging:

@jungnoir @yongceo @wonhopes @imdifferentshadesofpurple @bakolod @joyfulgem @gukyi & anyone else who wants to do this! feel free to just tag me (((: n if you don’t wanna do this then that’s peachy also!

#about me

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kyufiber-main · 7 years ago

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92 Question Tag

I was tagged by @wannabl AGAIN TYSM DFSFDLJ and @extraongdinary (i was literally typing this when you tagged me haha)

(wow ok this is the refined version lmaoo)

THE LAST

drink: cranberry juice hehe

phone call: my dad bc he wanted to know where the dog’s collar was LMAO

text message: if we are counting tumblr messages, then @extraongdinary - if we aren’t, @hwaiting-hoe

song you listened to: Burn It Up by wanna one lmaooo

time you cried: yesterday because airport security pulled aside my bag lol

dated someone twice: nope!

kissed someone and regretted it: nopity nope

been cheated on: nahh

lost someone special: my dog?? cat???

been depressed: nope

gotten drunk and thrown up: nope

3 FAVORITE COLORS

aquamarine blue

white

purple/lavender??? or maybe pastel pink

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU

made new friends: holy shit like 50+

fallen out of love: well i’d have to be IN love to fall OUT so,, no

laughed until you cried: YES omg so many times

found out someone was talking about you: both in good and bad ways, yes

met someone who changed you: not really??

found out who your friends are: errrr yes? i suppose

kissed someone on your Facebook list: no lmao i don’t even use fb

GENERAL

how many Facebook friends do you know in real life: all of them

do you have any pets: 1 dog, my cat died last month :(

do you want to change your name: nope!!! i love my name :)

what did you do for your last birthday: i had a cookout + pool party w/ my family, plus i visited my home town :D

what time did you wake up: 11:30 am

what were you doing at midnight last night: scrolling through tumblr, convincing myself to SLEEP (spoiler: i didn’t)

name something you can’t wait for: to like,,,,, unlock my future potential lolol ik that’s super dorky but honestly my future has so much potential right now and i’m just excited!!

when was the last time you saw your mom: 20 min ago??

what is one thing you wish you could change in your life: my fuckin scHOOL which is like,, trash

what are you listening to right now: Heartbreak Story by the wanted

have you ever talked to a person named tom: sort of?? ive mostly admired him from afar tho *cue heart eyes* bc he’s gorgeous

something that is getting on your nerves: my school administration lmao they are dumbasses

most visited website: tumblr or youtube lol

LOST QUESTIONS

mole(s): not really

mark(s): i have two birthmarks, one on each leg and a six inch long scar on my thigh from my cat from when i put her in the bathtub with me LOL

childhood dream: beome a fashion deisnger haha NOT ANYMORE THO

hair color: dirty blonde to the point where some people think im a bRUNETTE BUT BITVCH NO

long or short hair: hella long tbh

do you have a crush on someone: nope and it’s AmAZING

what do you like about yourself: my love for music, my loyalty to people i love, my honesty, and also my writing ability :)))

blood type: A+ unlike my grades HAHA

piercings: none hehe

nickname: 12.5 and also nerd lol

relationship status: single and livin the good life B)

zodiac: cancer

pronouns: she/her

favorite tv show: teen wolf, friends, and for kdramas: splash splash love, go ho’s starry night, weightlifting fairy, and father is strange

tattoos: none but maybe in the future

right or left handed: right #basic

surgery: i had a small oral surgery on valentine’s day in 2014 lmaooo

sport: none bc iM A LAZY UNATHLETIC SHIT

vacation: i wanna go somewrere rlly beautiful (hawaii, oregan, etc) or south korea

pair of shoes: i have converse, sneakers and flip flops and basically that’s the only three pairs i wear

MORE GENERAL

eating: i love eating and i love seafood and mashed potatoes and seaweed and lots more lol

drinking: grape soda, ginger ale, shirley temple, cheerwine,,,, i love it

I’m about to: do aNOTHER question tag i was tagged in lmao

waiting for: school to start *sigh*

want: school to not start hahaha no actualy recently i’ve been wanting to meet one of my tumblr friends irl i doubt it’ll ever happen tho and i also want to start writing on my writing blog

get married: i do yes but not for a very very long time

career: something involving the korean language or psychology or music

WHICH IS BETTER

hugs or kisses: depends tbh

lips or eyes: eyes

shorter or taller: i’m good with medium height to tall

older or younger: sage age or older like,,, i aint doin that younger guy shit unless it’s yoo seonho

nice arms or nice stomach: both lmao

hook up or relationship: relationship definitely

troublemaker or hesitant: it depends but i usually like somewhere in the middle leaning towards troublemaker

HAVE YOU EVER

kissed a stranger: i haven’t even kissed anyone at all so

drank hard liquor: ,,,,,,,,, yes

lost glasses/contact lenses: i don’t need those yET FUK

turned someone down: yes bc every guy that likes me is usually a perverted gamer guy who doesn’t know what personal hygiene is DFSDF

sex on the first date: noPe

broken someone’s heart: i hope not lol

had your heart broken: nope

been arrested: almost lol

cried when someone died: yep but like,,, not for people i know irl bc i’ve only know one irl guy who died and like,,, i wasn’t close enough to him to cry

fallen for a friend: yea lmao

DO YOU BELIEVE IN

yourself: yes for the most part lol

miracles: yeah

love at first sight: nO LMAO

santa clause: nope

kiss on the first date: sure why not

angels: yeah

OTHER

eye color: grayish to lightass blue

favorite movie: pirates of the caribbean series, jason borne series, and twenty (korean movie)

I tag: @heochannies @hwaiting-hoe @baejangtag @swoojin @baejinie @yoonjsung @jaeminnana @lovinsoftboyz @sunnysidewrites @rinacchin @renjunsrealm @dae-vil @wilderye @thegentlemanukulele @jiminie-fiminie @memeseoul @nct-would @our-kpopreact @jenowhat @mmargarie @princess-megz @cinderflamewc @dxnghyuns @jinjins

#tags #tag #tagged #tag games #92 questions tag refined #THANK YOU FOR TAGGING MEEEE

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beingmyownhxro · 7 years ago

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tagged by: @alexdanvers-rp, thank you! ^-^ tagging: @leadershiipskills / @fossilis, @marsdin, @i-am-diana-of-themyscira, @emblemofxfeminism, and anyone else who wants to~ RULES: answer the questions & tag some blogs you wanna get to know better !

A - AGE: 22 B - BIRTHPLACE: US C - CURRENT TIME: 1:04am D - DRINK YOU HAD LAST: pepsi E - EASIEST PERSON ( OR PEOPLE ) TO TALK TO: offline i don’t really have a “can tell them anything” person at this time. online there are and ofc here’s where i get super duper shy since they’ll actually see this. but I have a really easy time talking to ashleigh, elysian, ren, sam, robin, and val. i really love this rp community everyone is so nice ; w; F - FAVORITE SONG: i’m having trouble deciding, but i think i’m gonna go with demi lovato’s “let it go.” (the other contenders are idina menzel’s “let it go” and “libérée, délivrée” [movie version] by anaïs delva YES THAT’S LET IT GO IN FRENCH DON’T LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT) G - GROSSEST MEMORY: it’s really fricking gross so i’m gonna put it under a cut at the end to save those of you who understandably do not want to see it. it’s from when i was working in the care field and involves a lot of feces. H - HORROR YES OR HORROR NO: horror no. I - IN LOVE?: does my crush on katie mcgrath count lol J - JEALOUS OF PEOPLE: occasionally i get a little bit jealous of my sister, who’s always gotten really spoiled since she’s the baby. sometimes she gets jealous of me too since i’ve always been given more independence, so it’s just normal sibling stuff. K - KILLED SOMEONE: do bugs count L - LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT OR SHOULD I WALK BACK BY AGAIN?: i think you can get a crush on someone right away, but i don’t think it’s LOVE when you know nothing about them. M - MIDDLE NAME: rose N - NUMBER OF SIBLINGS: 1 O - ONE WISH: i really really really wanna be a good therapist. P - PERSON YOU CALLED LAST: my mom Q - QUESTION YOU’RE ALWAYS ASKED: it’s not exactly one consistent question, but people regularly mistake me for 14. like when i ask about jobs in person and the person tells me i need to be at least 16 to work there. or when i saw atomic blonde yesterday (r-rated so 17+) and the ticket cashier looked skeptically at my ID for like a solid minute searching for signs that it was fake. and i say 14 specifically because i’ve been told multiple times “you look like you’re 14″ or had my coworkers asked “is she old enough to work here she looks 14.” R - REASON TO SMILE: lena and my awesome threads and friends on here. :> S - SONG YOU SANG LAST: “happy” by marina and the diamonds T - TOP 3 FICTIONAL CHARACTERS: elsa from frozen, lena luthor, and maria torres from trama team U - UNDERWEAR COLOR: ummm white with pandas on it V - VACATION: my trip there was a research project more than a vacation (though i still got to do tons of fun stuff), so i hope someday i can go back to japan as a proper vacation. and i wanna go to disney world sometime. definitely disney world. W - WHEN’S YOUR BIRTHDAY: december 17 X - XRAYS: i got a ct scan a few years ago as they were trying to figure out what was causing the sudden horrid pain in my side/back. that was “fun.” it wasn’t anything serious though. (though i had 3 separate men ask me if i was sure it wasn’t period cramps like jfc) Y - YOUR FAVORITE FOOD: it’s a family recipe so nobody’s gonna know what i’m talking about lol. i guess the closest thing to it would be lasagna. it’s made in a casserole dish, and the top layer is ground beef mixed with tomato sauce, then cream cheese + sour cream + cottage cheese + green onion mixed, then egg noodles on the bottom, put in the oven for an hour at 350 F. but we almost never have it because there are so many steps and it makes so many dishes to wash. Z - ZODIAC SIGN: sagittarius

okay my grossest story under the cut, as promised. you’ve been warned.

so this was at my old job, like i said. it involves one of the residents, who was occasionally incontinent (both types -- but it normally wasn’t an issue as she wore adult diapers) to begin with, getting a stomach bug and having diarrhea. she was also blind, so while she was mobile, she wasn’t able to see to clean things up. and her developmental disability was such that she didn’t have a very clear understanding of a lot of things. so you can already guess how fun this day was.

it started off with me doing all her laundry and cleaning the carpet of her bedroom. which wasn’t that bad. but then my coworker, who didn’t clean a single thing in that entire time, decided that this woman really needed to take a bath. now, quick context. this woman, as i said, was incontinent sometimes to begin with. there had been an incident a couple of weeks ago where as she was taking a bath -- which she can do unassisted except for washing her hair (which she could probably do except she won’t, but she lets us) -- she had a bowel accident during her bath. and proceeded to continue with the bath as though nothing had happened. that wasn’t during one of my shifts so i don’t know why, but yeah, so that happened. i told my coworker that it was a bad idea -- i thought we were going to have an even more horrid repeat of that incident. she said that no, the woman needed a bath, and i said, more emphatically, “if she tries to take a bath, she’s probably going to have an accident.” the woman tended to take long baths and on this day was having diarrhea bowel movements pretty often. my coworker insisted it would be fine and the woman really needed a bath. now the thing is, someone like my coworker or i could easily get out of the bath and to the toilet if that were us. but it was hard for the woman to get in and out of the tub and to find the toilet to begin with, and add to that the other factors......

sure enough, some time later i hear the woman calling for me from the bathroom. now, thank god she didn’t have an accident while she was in the tub, but she had one as soon as she got out. she felt super bad about it but obviously it wasn’t like she could help it. she said she needed help to get out of the bathroom because she didn’t want to step in it. so i helped her out and to her room and to get dressed, gave her some water, and she went back to sleep. the bathroom was shared with another woman, so i let that woman know that i needed to clean the bathroom and it might take a while so if she needed to use the bathroom she should use the other one. with that, i grabbed a roll of paper towel and cleaning supplies (incl rubber gloves obviously, and a trash bag) and went to see the extent of the damage and get cleaning. to be clear, my coworker did not help me at all. or even offer to help. or even bring me more paper towel when i asked mid-cleaning.

IT WAS HORRIBLE. the next paragraph will continue with the story, so stop reading this paragraph if you don’t want the details. for starters, it was more yellow than brown. actually it was roughly the color of puke. i have somewhat of a phobia of puke, so that was super fun. it was also liquid. i mean LIQUID. it clearly had fallen where she had been standing and splattered into an enormous puddle. virtually the entire surface of the floor was covered. it was on the cupboard under the sink. it was on the bathtub. it was on the wall. it was on the toilet paper. it was on the toilet seat. utterly nightmarish.

but the cleaning needed to be done. i put on some music from my phone -- normally my coworker plays her stuff on the radio and i don’t play my own stuff, but i was like, y’know what i’m cleaning this up by myself she can deal with my demi lovato playlist -- didn’t breathe through my nose, and tried not to think about it too much. i just held on to the fact that i was doing this to help the residents who depended on me and the other staff to take care of them, and hey at least it wasn’t vomit.

i’m a fast worker, especially at cleaning. it took me two hours.

bonus points that the other residents kept like asking me stuff and trying to talk to me while i was doing that cleaning??? which is fine normally -- they’re the first priority, so if i’m doing the dishes or something else that can wait, i didn’t mind pausing to talk to them; some of them have trouble understanding that if we’re in the middle of something and can’t talk at that time, we’re not ignoring them, so i tried to make the time when i could. but uh, this was a special set of circumstances. now you’d think my coworker could’ve handled those things, but no, she was busy playing candy crush or something on her phone.

the real kicker is that after i got done, my coworker left early for no reason (not for the first time) and had left everything from dinner on the table and counters, and told me like 5 other things that needed to be done by the end of my shift. i spent the time between then and my next shift trying to convince myself not to quit until i found a new job -- i’d already been looking for new jobs anyway. but guess what? my supervisor was there and chewed me out because my coworker told her that I made HER do all the work. because my coworker had to make dinner by herself. i hadn’t been going to tattle to our supervisor but since my coworker did that i flat out told my supervisor that she had made dinner alone because i was spending two hours cleaning up diarrhea in the bathroom by myself, and that every single bit of the diarrhea messes all shift i had cleaned up by myself with no help from my coworker.

my supervisor didn’t care and continued to scold me. i handed in my two weeks’ notice the next day. that was too much.

yes, i’m still hella pissed about that.

#about the mun

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unproduciblesmackdown · 7 years ago

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chanxyeollie · 8 years ago

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70 questions, tagged by @stan-the-best-stan-monsta-x thx bby

1. do you have a good relationship with your parents? uhhh... well me & my mom generally have a good time, she acts more sisterly if that makes sense?? but me and my dad butt heads A LOT and do not get along very often.

2. who did you last say “i love you” to? see i’m pretty uncomfortable physically saying the words but like probably my cat or something lol.

3. do you regret anything? um YES let’s see off the top of my head: dying my hair red in the sixth grade, putting waaaay too much cheese on the pizza i had the other day, and being such a shitty student this year haha.

4. are you insecure? yES. i mean i have this rule that everyone who knows me in irl knows. like no one is allowed to take pictures of me. or share pictures of me. if they want a picture i have to take it or i have to direct them. there are years of pictures of my growth or w/e missing and it pisses my parents tf off lol.

5. what’s your relationship status? single as the day i exited the womb

6. how do you want to die? preferably when i’m asleep i mean??? like i don’t wanna feel anything so...

7. what did you last eat? pork? and then right after whipped cream from a can because that’s who i am as a person.

8. played any sports? hahahahahah fun fact i don’t play sports because i have really weak ankles - i’ve sprained both of them twice!

9. do you bite your nails? ugh yes... i had three years where i didn’t but now i do. :/ i’m trying to break the habit by carrying an unlimited amount of nail files with me. i miss having long nails SO MUCH.

10. when was your last physical fight? two nights ago, my mom came home after work at like midnight and hid behind a wall to scare me, which resulted in a ninja-like slap from me.

11. do you like someone? the beauty of being socially awkward and anxious and being in a uni where you don’t have to talk to anyone means there is no one to get to know and crush on. nice. :-)

12. have you ever stayed up 48 hours? no, i’ve stayed up for 37 but that was the longest and i was... pretty wacked out by then but that’s a story for another time.

13. do you hate anyone at the moment? if i do i’ve blocked them from my mind i??? can’t think of anyone at this particular moment, probably just fictional characters.

14. do you miss someone? i’m gonna say this really adorable cat named toby that i saw at a petsmart like a year ago. i hope he found a good home.

15. have any pets?  three cats! boris, pepper, and widget.

16. how exactly are you feeling at the moment?  um a little bit numb because i’m sitting on my foot but otherwise neutral.

17. ever made out in the bathroom? no

18. are you scared of spiders?  yeah the story of the first time i stayed up for a full 24 hours relates to a spider. also when i was very little i had a night terror where i had materialized a tarantula the size of me on top of me in my bed and well. that scarred me for life yanno?

19. would you go back in time if you were given the chance? fuckin yeah i’d tell myself not to confess to that one guy. embarrassing

20. where was the last place you snogged someone? never lol

21. what are your plans for this weekend?  crying before i start work on monday. i really don’t wanna go back, fuck.

22. do you want to have kids? how many? yeah! i already made a pact with myself that if i’m still single when im in my thirties i will adopt some kids.

23. do you have piercings? how many? just my ears~

24. what is/are/were your best subject(s)? um well once it was english but NOT ANYMORE LOL

25. do you miss anyone from your past?  no, i don’t think so.

26. what are you craving right now?  surprisingly more of the pork i had earlier even tho i didn’t really like it lol??

27. have you ever broken someone’s heart?  no

28. have you ever been cheated on?  no, kinda have to have had a boyfriend for that to happen

29. have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry?  no

30. what’s irritating you right now? the exam i have tomorrow. i should have withdrawn from that class i’m gonna have two F’s on my transcript wails

31. does somebody love you? my youngest cat. i am her mom.

32. what is your favourite color? black, pink in your area

33. do you have trust issues? yes but at the same time no

34. who/what was your last dream about? omg k let me get out my dream journal hang on... okay a short synopsis: my friend owned a burger king in this area near our high school (idk??) and i worked there w her, her boyfriend, and a few other people but one of the guys took my uniform which was, by the way, for some reason pastel blue and pink overalls but like shorts? and they were puffy like winter jackets. and then so i couldn’t work but i was still there and then allison and lydia from teen wolf walked in and we had like a reunion bc apparently we were friends lol and then scott came in and then stiles came in after him and i like ran to him and we hugged. idk what happened in my head man.

35. who was the last person you cried in front of? omg... my roommate. because i read a really sad fic and i tried to hide my tears w my blanket bUT SHE CAUGHT ME and then i started laughing while bawling my eyes out simultaneously bc i was embarrassed rip.

36. do you give out second chances too easily? gdi yeah i do. but i’ll bitch abt the person a fair amount first.

37. is it easier to forgive or forget? forgiving is hard but i’d never want to forget anything someone did to me. i’d want to remember so i can caution myself to make sure the same thing doesn’t happen again.

38. is this year the best year of your life?  um no unless the second half is gonna have a really great turn around.

39. how old were you when you had your first kiss? well i can tell you at this rate i’ll be 20 or over when it finally happens

40. have you ever walked outside completely naked? (réka omfg i laughed so hard at ur answer) no i have not. but once i forgot to take my pajamas off and just put my clothes over them and then when i went to the bathroom later in the day i was really fucking confused

51. favourite food?  well you got ur meats, steak, bacon, any sort of chicken. but you got pizza too. and you got sugar waffle cones... i mean like how am i to pick?

52. do you believe everything happens for a reason? i mean i hope it does because otherwise that’s just a big fuck u from the universe.

53. what is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?  (réka fuck me up enter the realm of exo) um i read exo fics and then i was on @vixx17andbtsimagines‘s blog catching up on her stuff.

54. is cheating ever okay? noooooooooooooo~~~~~~ its not like wtf is that why would you put someone through the pain that’s so shitty. idc the circumstance.

55. are you mean?  no i’m really not but my face and fast-paced walk and avoidance of ppl makes them think i’m a mega-bitch. seriously, at least three of my friends have told me that was their first impression of me yikes.

56. how many people have you fist fought?  technically two but very lowkey. the first one was a very hesitant, light slap to the face of this boy when i was in the sixth grade - i was very scared to do this but afterwards he cried and said i broke his jaw lmAO. and this doesn’t really count but this guy i was friends with was sitting across from me at a table and he jokingly threw a plastic fork at me and out of pure reflex i smacked him across the face. this has happened more than once disclaimer rofl.

57. do you believe in true love?  books make me want to believe it. but i don’t really know. i feel that can only be answered by someone who’s experienced it idk??

58. favourite weather?  just... march, october, and november because that is when there are no bugs and it’s cold enough to wear pants and the bulk of my clothes without sweating/freezing.

59. do you like the snow?  yeah if i’m not in it lol. those canadian winters, man

60. do you wanna get married? yeah i’d like to one day, but when i think abt having the ceremony i get very anxious haha

61. is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby? that depends on the person?? but i feel like i’d personally be such a sucker for it if it was from the right guy lol

62. what makes you happy?  the rare perfect cup of coffee, music, smyang’s music box version’s of songs, exo and bts crack videos (i die every time), having a good ass sleep with my body pillow to name a few.

63. would you change your name? yeah i go by aluri everywhere because its what i want to change my name to. by this point i’ve ‘had’ it for ten years and even though my family/irl friends don’t call me it, that’s all the online knows me as.

64. would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed?  well the last person i kissed was in a dream and it was mark from got7 so no, not at all ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

65. your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? i don’t have one of those anymore so

66. do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around? no?

67. who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to?  shocker it was my dad lmao

68. who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? my roommate. which sucks because we aren’t roomies anymore and i’m gonna miss our car talks so much. :/

69. do you believe in soulmates?  if the reason i haven’t been so much as looked at by a guy is because the world is saving me for my soulmate then sure. but otherwise NO

70. is there anyone you would die for? my oldest cat boris. :/ he’s kind of my best friend so what’re you gonna do, you feel? i love doing things like this as an excuse to talk abt myself & it was really fun so thank you for tagging me babe @stan-the-best-stan-monsta-x and i loved reading yours!! and um gonna tag my two mains again @tearsmp4 @bunmyeon because a) i love them b) i have no other friends seriously also @sooberri if you wanna do this i’d like to know more about you as creepy as that sounds ^^

#about me

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virgo-dragon · 8 years ago

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Loz Fanfic Thing

for @du-hjarta-skulblaka and whoever else is interested note: this /did/ have some formatting but ut didnt copy/paste, im on movike, and im lazy Open on Cosplayer Dude at convention in Link Cosplay, having a good time (maybe in vendor's hall?) Bam! Fuckin Ganondorf comes through the wall like the Kool Aid Man going on about “those god damned goddesses fucking putting the triforce in this shit hole” Ganondorf sees our hero and is like “Agh! /YOU/! I thought I took care of you! Oh well, once more never hurt anyone” and Hero immediately shits pants Ganondorf essentially takes our hero prisoner w a planned execution Zelda in hiding as one of his minions frees Hero at last minute, runs off w them Big Epic Chase Scene. Hero runs off something/into something/is nearly caught but saved at last minute which leads to blackout and meeting Main Ally (but not Companion. No Companions) Cue “You’re the hero!” “Im most definitely fucking NOT the Hero! Im only dressed up as him! Im not even guy! MY NAMES NOT EVEN LINK!” (Maybe a “Who’s Link? His name was ’(Our Hero’s Name)’”and then an “Oh jesus fuck” “Ok well if ur gonna be fighting you gotta get a proper sword and shield” “Well I GUESS!” *cue raiding the ruined Vendor’s Hall for a sword and shield (neither look like the things but that get painted like them later) Cue Search for the Stones/Pearls/Pendants and travelling between dimensions via lame old plastic ocarina and the rushed learning of Legendary Hero (comment on cheesiness) Courage: needs hammer Wisdom: Needs boomerang Power: Needs floaty glidey thing (sailcloth-type maybe?) Cue Hurdy Gurdy Get and Main Theme Learn (acts as Zelda’s Lullaby in OoT) Cue Quest for Master Sword (cue quest for Master Sword Sheath) -found in Temple of Time (but what about the sheath tho) Cue Quest for Hylian Shield Cue Return to Ally -learn Clocktown Theme as Home Warp Song Oh no! Ganondorf has found the Triforce of Power! (Of course) Chase after Ganondorf as he tries to get the Triforce of Wisdom -End up protecting Zelda on her way out/sneaky leading her out maybe bc she got there first -maybe Look-Alike plan? Race to the Triforce of Courage -Rejects Hero at first bc idk they dont accept their role as Hero or smth. Maybe they just need to accept the courage in themself? Accept that they value courage and have been denying it bc it’s “cliche”? -but also rejects Ganondorf bc he values Power above all and he’s got that piece Cue Standoff with Ganondorf Cue ToC finally accepting Hero “Oh now i can take you you piece of shit” “to be fair, if youd taken it at first, Ganondorf couldve taken it from you.” “.../why/ did you have to have the Triforce of Wisdom” Cue Return to Ally Zelda stays behind at Ally’s bc she thinks she wont be found and/or shell be able to hold her own and/or she can make it defensible/hideable -this place becomes a dungeon later on -”You won’t listen to me when I tell you I know for a FACT this won’t work, right?” “Well, no. But also i cant fight im gonna fuckin die if i go out there w you.” “Tru” Shakey Shakey its an Earth Quakey Cue Trip to find Wise Guy Sahasrala to find out wtf’s going on “Its bc the worlds have been forced close together. They’re becoming unstable.” “Well how tf do I push them apart?” “Ya gotta get both Zelda and Ganondorf back into Hyrule bc they’re keeping it here” Question of whether or not our Hero needs to go w them or do something else- WAIT -The Goddesses just merged the Spirit of the Hero w out Hero one day bc that Link fuckin DIED and so at the Very End the spirits un-merge and our Hero gets to meet THE Hero YES (note: Decide what Kind of Link this kid is) Parts of Hyrule start appearing in our world and Vice Versa Return to Ally’s Place to find it dungeon-ified, Zelda missing presumably deep in the dungeon, and Ally lying bleeding, dying “Yo Zelda’s in there but you’re gonna need a whole HOST of other items to get through there” *dies* Cue Questing for Other Items (Both Tunics / Environment Devices, Bow, Hookshot, and Bombs) -cue instructions and/or panic about learning to use the items (Water Thingy on breathing, Hookshot on fuckign BONES, and Bombs on ignition and usage) Back to the Ally Dungeon! HOLY SHIT LEARN SONGS FEATURED AND/OR USED IN THEGAMES THROUGHOUT THIS WHOLE THING (Zelda’s Lullaby doesn’t do anything here go fuck urself) (here it’s the main theme) Go through JUST in time to see Ganondorf take Zelda (of course) (but she at least puts up a fight this time) Standoff w Ghost/Shadow/Phantom Ganon “Well Shit What do I do Now?” Goes back to convention Cue Reflection on all this fucking shit Cue another Link Cosplayer coming up and being like “Dude holy fuck what the fucking shit” Cue Useful Information on Ganon’s Whereabouts “How’re we gonna get in tho its fucking heavily guarded (bc i figure you could use some help im coming with but i also dont quite recognize you’re /really/ the Hero bc thats not a real thing at least i dont think it is)” “Take this old replica shit I got at the start of this fucking fiasco and come confuse w me, his monsters are rly dumb theyll never know we’re diff heights and maybe even skin colors” They succeed “Yo bro this is getting a bit much for me and you look like you’ve got it good luck and let me know if you need my help again. Heres my number” “god i forgot phones were a /thing/” Cue finding Ganondorf and Final Standoff in Our World Cue Sacred Realm or some bs scene Cue Message from the Goddesses in form of Big Mysterious Voice saying “whoops we fucked up cant push away the worlds until Spirit of Hero is unmerge” (clever hints all along that Spirit of Hero was there and at least part of the time acting) “Looks like you gotta Stab the Thing in the Temple of Time. Also leave all your cool shit there please” -actually maybe not bc most things can be made -maybe its like “look we know there’ll still be residual effects and shit in your world so a) Take these Ghost Versions of shit that work the same and go fight it or b) take the Actual Items and they’ll find their way back to Hyrule later Cue journey to Temple of Time to stab sword in pedestal Cue Meeting w the Spirit of the Hero and subsequent near fan-personing of Our Hero Long talk about everything (and maybe the bringing up of the Link name) -”nah bro my name’s Link idk what that shit was probably the Goddesses doin shit” “So you mean I wasnt actually destined to be the hero?” “No you were, but the name always helps.” -I imagine this Link to have much of the personality and maybe look of Skyward Sword Link which makes sense bc he was the Original Link Cue Return to Our World and Wrapping Up of Shit Cue Epilogue Our Hero Agender, but if asked will say Mayonnaise Needs glasses so has to wear those fuckin sports glasses -I hate those glasses -they have silver/gray ones. The kind that look like weird goggles After Inciting Incident they go and fucking use ALL the bobby-pins to keep their hat on -”Suddenly I kinda maybe rly wanna wear this through the adventure. At least it’s well made and I’ll get several kicks out of keeping it on” Swears at anything and everything in a dungeon -“OH BOY A BOSS ROOM NOT LIKE IM FUCKING SURPRISED” -“god damned FLOOR/WALLMASTERS I WILL SLAUGHTER YOU AND YOUR ENTIRE FAMILY!!! FUCKIN LEAVE ME ALONE” Has played many a Zelda

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