#I know we all thoroughly talked this through at the time of its release but legitimately what the hell were they thinking with this one.

[prolibytherium]

"Surely Cats (2019) will not be distracting background noise for drawing" <- Idiot

[sovasleepy]

jealousy (valorant x reader)

[ chamber, gekko, sova, omen x gn!reader ] — in which valorant men get a little jealous

tw: jealous and a little overprotectiveness but they’re (mostly) healthy about it. a little cursing for some flavor. random guy flirts with you in chamber's but hes not creepy about it. different guy is also creepy in omen's but its not talked about in detail. chamber makes a sexual joke in his.

CHAMBER ━━━

hot take: he’s so protective at all times idc idc

but he hides it so so well

he’s absolutely enamored by you, there’s no denying that. that’s only half the reason why he tries to show you off so much though

the other reason is because that means he is showing you off as his. he’s staking his claim on you in his own odd little way, but it works and neither of you mind it too much

━━━━━━

“are you sure this shirt doesn’t make me look weird?” you asked, tugging at the material.

as much as you loved it, you couldn’t quite tell me if it was ‘you.’ you stepped out of the changing room of the store you were in and into the hallway, where chamber sat patiently waiting. he loved a fashion show if it was yours, after all.

he pretended to inspect it thoroughly, leaning forward in his chair and narrowing his eyes.

before he could answer, however, a different voice sounded out. it came from the door next to yours, where a different man had walked into the hallway to look at his own clothes.

“it looks good,” he spoke, smirk creeping its way onto his face. “but i imagine you’d look good in anything, huh?”

both you and chamber sat still and quiet for a few beats, as if registering what had just happened. the line was well delivered, but seriously? could he not tell that you were with chamber?

“well,” chamber spoke loudly. “they do look good in anything. and in nothing. we could see how you look when the shirt is on our bedroom floor, how’s that, ma cheri?”

you attempted to ignore the warmth that rose in your face, but failed. again, you were stunned. the opposing man blanched and retreated back to his changing room, where he quickly shut the door.

“come now, love. i think a thousand dollars in one shopping trip is enough, no? or should we stop by one more store?” chamber was overly loud once again.

and lying through his teeth, as well — you’d come to retrieve a single shirt for an event. that said, you couldn’t help but laugh as the occupant of changing room next to yours fumbled over himself, apparently knocked something down, and released a string of curses.

he didn’t have to know chamber was lying, and you didn’t have to know chamber was lying because he knew he’d earn a laugh from you.

GEKKO ━━━

gekko has like. a normal amount of jealousy?

he’ll bite back the small senses of it whenever you’re giving another guy a little more attention that he would like you to

or he’ll politely explain to you that he doesn’t really like you doing something because of how it makes him feel and you’ll talk it through

not because he doesn’t trust you, he just needs that extra little reassurance

if you’re willing to give up doing something to give him that peace of mind? all the better. if not? he can work on it, no questions asked.

overall 10/10 v good communication skills i love him

━━━━━━

you could tell that gekko was uneasy. from the way his nails picked at his fingers and the constant bouncing of his knee, to the avoidance of eye contact and the way his speech was quiet and mumbled, gekko’s demeanor screamed something was wrong.

you watched him carefully as you sat back down at the table. again, his eyes didn’t move from the place they were locked onto.

a few moments passed as you thought of what could have been wrong. the two of you were at some company party, with loud music coming through the speakers and an unholy amount of people piled into the room. everyone was dressed formally in either dresses or suits, their makeup done perfectly and not a hair out of place.

maybe that’s what was wrong. perhaps the music was too loud or his suit was too tight.

“mateo?” you had to yell over the music, despite wanting your voice to be soft as you spoke to him.

he finally looked up to you, soft eyes scanning your face. he didn’t speak, but he hummed to acknowledge you audibly.

“is everything alright? you seem a little off.”

the question seemed to stun him for a few moments as he pulled his bottom lip between his teeth and looked back down to the table. after a deep breath, he finally answered. “i just felt a little… i dunno. saying i was jealous feels a little funny, but there was this guy earlier you were talking to? he was kinda tall, darker hair. and uh- anyway, you went to grab a drink and he seemed to be really funny i guess. you didn’t stop laughing the entire time you were talking and before you left he kissed your cheek.”

you thought about it for a second, trying to recall the interaction, before you let out something like a laugh.

“he’s from mexico, he told me it was a common thing there? i dunno. i’ve known him since i joined the protocol.” you said, smiling at him. “it’s nothing, but if you don’t like it i’ll tell him next time. i highly doubt there’s gonna be any hard feelings about it on his end. is that alright?”

he nodded, sending you a soft smile. his face had relaxed significantly in the past few minutes. "thank you, amor."

SOVA ━━━

he rarely gets jealous,, he thinks

he has a hard time exactly placing the emotion, and it’s mostly shrouded in protectiveness more than anything

he loves you, he knows you love him, and there is not a doubt that trickles into his mind

…..for the most part, anyway

there is the occasional time when that warmth spreads in his chest and the overwhelming urge to take you under his wing spawns, only to realize you aren’t in any danger

so why does he feel the need to protect you?

━━━━━━

sova had never had any ill-will toward phoenix. the two of them weren't particularly close, but they had worked and lived together for long enough that they were closer than one might expect.

maybe thats why sova agreed to play games with he and a few others the other night. they played stupid ice-breaker games, despite mostly having known each other for years. a few embarrassing stories of his friends' youth were shared, including the time jett ate brownies without knowing weed was baked in, and the time raze got caught sneaking out in her teens.

at some point, sova was asked who he had feelings for. it was the late hours of the night, and you had long since passed out on the couch next to him. he'll never figure out how you slept through the laughing and talking, but you did. without saying a word, sova had smiled softly and nodded over to you.

there were a few gasps, and then there was the laughing and cheering of a few others. phoenix held out his hand, to which jett passed him twenty bucks with a disgrunted face. evidently, they had had a bet about his feelings.

little did he know that telling them--phoenix, in particular--about his feelings toward you would go on to be one of the worst decisions he could have made.

ever since that night, phoenix had made it his goal to flirt with you as much as he possibly could when sova was around. he would send the russian a wink and a smile after every interaction with you, driving the stake deeper. though you thought he was just being friendly and joking around, the interactions never failed to spark a sick feeling in his gut.

and currently, he was almost at his limit.

he was normally fairly calm, but his patience with phoenix had been run thin over the past few weeks and the interaction between you two was getting a little too close for his comfort. not that he had some sort of claim over you; you weren't dating, so why did he have this feeling?

"could you hand me my water?" you asked from your spot on the couch. you gestured to the bottle of water placed in front of phoenix, who was sitting beside you.

he watched as phoenix took your hand and brought it gently up to his lips, planting a kiss on your knuckles. "anything for you, my love." his voice was dripping with sultry as he spoke.

in a few quick steps, sova got up and grabbed the bottle before phoenix could. he stepped around the coffee table and handed you the bottle, sending a glare over to phoenix when he stepped away. the other man raised his hands in mock defense and leaned back into the couch. with a sly smile, he positioned his arm around the back of the couch and pulled you into his side. you laughed, but didn't push away.

"ok, fine." sova finally spoke. he had been glaring daggers at you and phoenix for the better part of two hours, and you couldn't figure out why. "what the hell is it for, phoenix? why are you doing this?"

you leaned up from where you were leaned against the man in question. "doing what?"

phoenix smiled impossibly wider and leaned forward. "yeah, doing what?"

sova grumbled. he huffed and took a moment to collect himself. "leave, y/n." he looked at you and his eyes softened. "please."

despite the look he sent you, you weren't leaving. you crossed your arms in defiance and glared. phoenix's hand came up to rub your back.

"that!" sova finally spoke again. this wasn't how he wanted to confess to you, but so be it. "i told you weeks ago that i had feelings for y/n and you have since made it your life's mission to flirt with them. you don't have the same feelings for them, so why? what do you gain?"

phoenix, painfully calmly, got up and walked to the other side of the room. "for one, you finally confessed. don't have to deal with your 'longing gazes' anymore. secondly, jett now owes me twenty more bucks."

OMEN ━━━

omen would like to pride himself in the fact that he was rarely jealous.

insecure? sure. a little self-depreciating? of course.

but jealous just wasn’t him. as much as he was dissatisfied with himself, he had full trust in you.

however, that didn’t stop the rare inkling of a feeling that you truly would be better off with someone else, especially when they flirt, and even more so when you don’t notice

━━━━━━

one more time. that was all it was going to take.

just one more time for that guy to slide his hand up your arm, one more stupid joke to roll off of his tongue, one more laugh from you. omen knew he didn't exactly initiate physical touch all that often, but that doesn't mean he dislikes it. he would kill right now to have that be him, for you to be so close to him, for you to be laughing at his every word like you were laughing at that guy's.

he had told you that he would come with you to grab some supplies. a kingdom worker had been at the facility at the time, however, and the two of you seemed to be getting along perfectly well. to hell with the company you had asked from omen, he supposes.

and of course there it was again, his arm coming up to rest gently on your back as he guided you down another hallway. omen was a few steps behind the two of you, not that either one of you seemed to be paying him any mind.

fine. he could go back to his room.

his disappeared into a cloud of smoke, materializing again in the darkness of his own room. the events of the last thirty or so minutes replayed in his mind, a taunting loop of your smile as you looked at the man responsible for it. its not that he hated seeing you smile -- he loved it. but it was a different thing entirely when you smiled so big because of a man he could never be. maybe in another life, but not now.

the thoughts swirled in his head for what felt like hours. it was likely barely half an hour in reality, being that it took fifteen minutes alone to get up to his room from where the two of you had been before and likely another few to finish your work.

finally, a knock on the door of his room regained his attention.

"come in." he spoke, not looking away from the ceiling tile he'd been fixed on.

"what the hell is wrong with you?" you asked, clearly angry.

the phantom sat up, looking over to you incredulously. "what?"

"why the hell would you leave?"

"wasn't interested in watching him flirt with you." he was curt, as always.

"oh, yeah," you said dramatically. you were walking over to him now, standing in front of him. "because i was enjoying it so much. loved it even more when my boyfriend got tired and left me alone with him."

oh. that makes more sense than you blatantly hitting on him in front of your own boyfriend.

"really? sure seemed to find him so funny."

"because what am i supposed to do? tell him that he's not funny and to shut up?"

"you could have told him not to touch you."

"i did! and you didn't see me brushing his hand away and walking faster so he wouldn't rest his hand on my back? or were you too busy wallowing?"

the reality of this set in on him suddenly. he really had been too caught up in his own mind to realize what was happening. he had left you in an uncomfortable situation all because he was too stubborn to listen to what was actually happening.

"i'm sorry." he finally spoke.

"its okay," you sighed, and crawled your way into his bed. "i'll file a report or something later. we deserve a nap."

[kurosagileo]

alrighty its post mortkranken thoughts time! under a cut so that spoilers are easier to avoid

(did one for obscuary here)

for a spoiler free thought first off, though, i think the time between episodes both works for and against the story. it's a good pacing so far imo, even if it's disappointing there's not much to do in the game between episode drops. there's enough time to let people analyze the most recent episode and secrets revealed, come up with guesses as to how things connect, and when that starts dying down, there's time to hypothesize about the next episode because teasers have started dropping. Game wise, there's time for people who have been playing for a while to get farther in cases so that once the episode does drop, it's easy to go through whenever you're ready. On the other hand, the time inbetween, the teasers can possibly hype a episode up a bit too much, i think that happened with obscuary and may have contributed to how the episode felt unbalanced (at least to me). High expectations mean there's a lot that could go wrong when things end up differently. I don't think they should release the episodes sooner, that would be an overload, just something i've been making note of and trying to not expect too much from a new episode so that i enjoy what comes out rather than being disappointed with what didn't

spoiler wise, i'll follow the format i had for obscuary!

jiro is winning the idgaf war and i absolutely love that for him. I think the writers did a good job of makng him the straight man to yuri's antics and thoroughly enjoyed scenes with him

yuri... is so silly i love him sm i want to kiss his cheek so that he bluescreens on the spot. i love that he seems like he's gonna be a scientist with questionable morals leaning to the evil side but then he ends up being so expressive about every little thing. he's smart but not manipulative mastermind ike if he's thinking something you Will know it

there's an interesting dynamic between the two which I'm looking forward to learning more about. Some of the few times where Jiro outwardly emotes are during interactions with Yuri. (Also with pc with the body lmao)

now for the story content, not an analysis of what things might mean but just overall storytelling

I think this did well with bringing the standard back up from the obscuary episode. for my thoughts on that, feel free to check out the other post i made. it was far more balanced with the investigation driving things, mc getting closer to the two ghouls, and the progression of mc's curse for the overarching story. the cameos from all of the other characters was exciting to see while going through, and was great for showing how different characters interact with each other. I think each of those small moments showed a lot about the characters.

for a few examples: alan's regrets for not saving naoki, highlighting how much he values being able to save people and blames himself for not doing enough even when he couldn't stop it; leo taking the documents, seeming to just do it to be antagonistic, but actually genuinely helping out both mc's investigation and alan's ass if the files went missing; ren and ritsu talking about ramen in the store, they're getting closer despite ren not liking working at his job and always complaining that ritsu is there, clearly they're starting to become friends; the three vice captains meeting and the absolute tension there

i could go on, each of those little cameos was meaningful imo, not all of them served to progress the main story, but they're important to see, to show how the ghouls are interacting with each other and how they act when mc isn't investigating their house

I think the investigation portion was a little rough near the end. The case wrapup wasn't as satisfying as I'd like, I think the best two episodes for that so far were vagastrom and sinostra, but the framing of it makes sense considering yuri's stigma. (specifically the part of the wrapup where we found the patient was behind things, the fight at the end was something i really enjoyed) It's something that lets yuri process everything instantaneously, so it makes sense that the answer is just given in a monologue, even if it ends up being somewhat unsatisfying. Yuri is a character who likes his monologue, and he's found everything out and is confident in his answer. I don't think that he would present the information in another way

The foreshadowing in this chapter was...... well it could've been more subtle. I kinda wish that while Jiro was leading mc through Mortkranken, there would be more attention drawn to multiple things, aside from exactly what would be relevant. I think that may have also led to the unsatisfying reveal

the very ending with the assembly was also well done, imo. it reiterates that the faculty want mc to gain the trust of the ghouls and is doing so. but it also calls into question where that request is coming from. right now, mc is very much being used by the faculty. she was pushed into the investigator role, pushed into being a student, pushed into earning their trust, threatened with a possible punishment for not being able to prove it. it serves her as well to grow close with the ghouls and be an investigator, and she clearly is, but I really don't think that's anywhere near the reason the chancellor put her in that position. we always keep the spy thing in the back of our minds while reading, while she's essentially also advertised as a spy to the ghouls

the phone call between hyde and sho was both surprising to see, but also not. Sho has a campus chat with hyde where he says that he's using hyde to get ahead any way he can. Learning that hyde is giving secret missions, it's unsurprising that Sho is one of the students he's using. I think this would be too obvious for the whole spy/traitor thing, however... there was one other campus chat that came into my mind, the one between subaru and leo. Subaru's waiting for MC for lunch, Leo approaches and sees he's got food from Sho's food truck, and comments on how Sho is really good at the friend act. Acting like he's a friend to customers to convince them to buy more. While the likely reading is Leo just lying to mess with Subaru (and honestly I wouldn't doubt that), I think it could also be that it's a true analysis of Sho.

He is good a the friend act. Sho has no problem lying to someone to appear nice. He did it to an old lady looking for a train station in the vagastrom episode. Leo told her he had no clue where it was, Sho gave her instructions and after she left, Leo asked how he knew and Sho told him oh I didn't. A lot of Sho's flaws are looked over because he's nice, when he is kinda an asshole a lot. I don't think that he's using a friend act on Subaru, but it's genuinely hard to tell. The scene at the beginning of the episode was cute, but depending on how you read it, it could be Sho playing it up for the bet with Leo.

I doubt the phone call from the end will actually be how we learn about the traitor, but I also think that Sho has a lot more resources than most to be a traitor

[artdcnaldson]

hhhhiiiii cat!!! i dont wanna overwhelm you, but i just have so many fun thoughts for this au, feel free to take your time with these

we were talking about the sheer sluttiness of the moans and groans of the tennis players at wimbledon, and then i was watching djokovic playing, and oh boy is he louder than both art and pat. but it made me think another little thought....

so you've been a fan of art donaldson long before he agreed to coach you. you've been following him for years, watching him play, begging your parents to bring you to his matches when they were nearby, recording and rewatching all the matches you could. you had a pretty good collection by the time you went pro, if it wasn't a slightly strange thing to collect people might admire your devotion to it. you'd even managed to dig up some old, pixilated and shaky footage of his stanford days. those were your favorites. something about that snapback keeping his gorgeous curls contained just did something to you.

it's safe to say that he was her sexual awakening. she spent her later teen years seeking out any cute tennis players with blond curls and knee-buckling smiles. it didn't quite fulfill her, but it was enough to keep her satisfied for the time being. but on those long and lonely nights she would pull up one of his matches to keep her entertained. the day she found out he was retiring was a very sad day for her :(

but anyway, back to when she's now basically living with him. it was such a long and boring day, art was out somewhere with lily and some of her friends from school, so you had been left to your own devices. you'd done some tanning by the pool, baked a brownie for art, ordered some cute new dresses, you'd even gone so far as to clean the kitchen. you were beyond bored.

then you'd decided to make dinner for art rather than having the chef cook, you'd prepared a lasagna and popped it in the oven. as you're waiting both for the oven and for art to come home, you're lounging on the couch, scrolling mindlessly through the channels on the tv, zapping through you spot the sports channel. just as you're about to skip it to find MTV or some good reality tv, you recognize the game in front of you. it's an old match of arts, one you'd watched many times, at the australian open a few years back. it had been a favorite of yours, the way his sweat glistened and made his whole body shine, he'd had to take off his shirt during breaks and pour cold water over himself to cool down. goodness gracious, he'd looked so good that whole tournament. his grunts were more exaggerated with the heat. you'd spent your whole youth wondering and imagining whether those noises were the same he'd make in bed. you thought you'd never know and just have to imagine that they were. but now that you knew, now that you were so familiar with those same sounds every night, and every day on the practice court. oh it made it so much hotter to watch him play. its truly inevitable when your hand wedges it way into your shorts and past the line of your panties, it's basically reflex at this point.

as art is walking through the door the first thing he hears is the mix of a tennis match on the tv and the sounds of your moans. he's intrigued by what this could be he's walking in on. as he walks up behind the couch he can see himself on the tv and he can see your hand moving between your legs. he's almost tempted to just stand and observe you, let you live in your fantasy. but when you start to moan his name sweetly, he can't help but interrupt you. "ooohhh aaarrrrttttt" all drawn out and pretty as you get closer to your release, "yea, darling?". oh. you've been caught. he's thoroughly amused by how you react as if you've done something terribly wrong, like a puppy getting caught chewing shoes. you expect him to be upset and call you pathetic, but he's too caught up in how flattering this is. he just tells you to keep going as he comes around and sits next to you, "you like watching me play?", you can barely respond, so overwhelmed by his attention. "if i'd known you got off this much on watching me i would have found the old recordings for you ages ago". he peels off your shorts and panties for you, he needs to get a better look at you, takes your top off with it. he needs to see all of you, but he keeps his own clothes on. it only adds to the power he feels over you, it's intoxicating, it almost makes him dizzy to have you like this. he would feel guilty if he didn't know exactly how much you love it.

he watches you cum on your fingers as he wins the match, it's almost too perfect. but at this point you're so routined in this fantasy that you can time it perfectly. you're a blushing mess as you come down, shy and embarrassed that he'd caught you in your moment of worship. but curiosity oozes from him, he coaxes you to tell him all about your little ritual, whining in embarrassment as you admit to all your dirty fantasies about him.

if it wasn't for the timer going off the lasagna would have burnt in the oven. art can't do anything but adore you, his perfect little thing, a warm dinner and delicious dessert ready for him. you really were perfect for him.

it's so important to me that reader in this au is very wide-eyed and naive towards her relationship to art. despite that fact that she is more than willing, and it's fully consensual, he is absolutely taking advantage of a huge power imbalance. he's her idol, he's like a god to her. he's the reason she's even playing tennis professionally, if it wasn't for him she wouldn't have a career in this sport. his attention, his trust in her game and her talent, means more to her than anything else. her touching herself to his games is like a form of worship shes participated in for years. him finding this out strokes his ego like nothing else in the world, he's never felt bigger, never felt more important. all the career achievements and grand slams mean nothing compared to this. to know that your sexuality has been based in him, the only thing that can get you off is a version of him.

ARARAARARRARARARRA tihi :))) i love tennis men. i need art to have a big ego and take advantage of me tihihihi, it's so serious

-🐞

RAHHHHHHHHH <3<3<3

Something about all the tiny forms of worship you find yourself acting out while you’re with Art, the ways you willingly put yourself beneath him and show him that he’s the center of your universe.

How you let him use you whenever, however he wants. He can wake you up buried in your cunt— how your body just always seems to be wet and ready for him, perfect for him to slide into, to fuck until he’s cumming deep in that sweet, young pussy.

How you sit on his lap after you get done with the day’s practice, how you rub after sun lotion into his pink, hot skin. Like your wandering hands are canvassing every inch of his body, memorizing it. And you always end up with your hands around his dick, lotion slick and warm, pumping him slow and sweet as you whisper soft thank yous in his ear for being such a good coach.

And you’re so caught up in him, in winning. In your continued positive trajectory, that you miss the ways he’s taking advantage of that devotion. He plays up his disappointment in your losses so you work even harder to please him, so you kneel in front of him and worship him and promise that you’ll never disappoint him again. He holds his pleasure close to his chest so it feels like the sun shining on you when he says he’s proud of you, or that you’re performing well, or when he calls you his good girl.

It was never going to be fair— not when you hero worshipped him, when you formed the center of your brain around love and pleasure and pride around the idea of Art Donaldson. But what does fair matter when he’s all you want and more??

[fangsyouverymuch01]

If walls could talk

‼️: You don’t have to have read the other parts to read this one!

Authors note: Finally it's here, part 3 of my series! This is my first time writing smut so please be kind and any advice is greatly appreciated.

Anyhow, the reader stuggles heavily in this part and I intend to have a more lighthearted part 4 and let our girl breathe.

Summery: Last nights endeavors are foggy and a certain vampire might be the key to unlock what exactly happened. Or show you if needed.

Paring: Astarion x durge, Astarion x tav

Word count: 2,7 k

Warnings: Smut!, Blood, Amnesia, Angst, Fluff (slight), Dark thoughts

Here are the other parts: Part 1. Part 2.

Enjoy <3

A throbbing headache flutters your eyes open. What happened and why does your head hurt? Pinching your nose bridge, your groan as you try to make out the surroundings. Taupe walls gently sway, and a whiff of earthy breeze hits your senses – your tent.

What happened last night?

Searching your throbbing cortex for answers, agitated voices behind the comforts of your tent interrupt you. 

“She’s been out for hours and you’re not answering any of our questions!”

“I’ve been on my very best behavior since we got here, why are you accusing me of doing something?”

The realization hits you - you were with Astarion last night. Fleeting images of his sharp fangs, the voice tempting you to carve into his skull, and your consciousness surrendering to oblivion all rush back into your memory.

“Maybe it’s because your tent strangely always seems to be empty in the middle of the night.” a female voice interjects, voice dripping in venom.

“Darling, I didn't know you looked for night visitors, all you had to do was ask.”

With wobbly legs you leave the quiet tent.. The warm sunlight greets your emergence, but unfortunately, the same warm welcome doesn't apply to your steadily growing headache.

“Good morning.” you mumble.

The group abruptly halts their conversation, analyzing your form as you emerge from the tent. Wyll takes the initiative, shattering the unspoken constraints that seem to have frozen the collective movement of the group. 

“Are you alright?” Wyll questions, eyes round with concern as he steps closer towards your tent. 

“Yes of course Wyll, why wouldn’t I be?”

Wyll seems to hesitate, carefully choosing his next words. “You’ve almost slept through the entire day and-” he pauses, circling back to Shadowheart for reassurance. 

“You’ve been screaming obscene things the last hours, about someone or something lurking in your soul and to embrace your blood…”

Your urge. 

“Gods, I must’ve had a nightmare or-.” you manage to squeeze out, heart pounding in your chest. 

A shiver of panic courses through you at your companions words. What if, in a moment of uncontrolled impulse, you harmed your companions? The fear tightens its grip, making you acutely aware of the potential danger concealed with your impulses. 

A thought flits into your mind - Did you hurt him?

Before considering the consequences of your next words, they are spilling out of your lips. “Astarion, did I hurt you last night?”

Once more, a tense hush descends upon the party, their movements freezing as if suspended in a moment of uneasy anticipation. Eyes dart away from you, now avoiding your gaze and converge on the pale elf positioned at the back of the group. Astarion, seemingly caught off guard, releases a small puff of air, his ruby eyes momentarily tracking the ground beneath your feet as he subtly closes the gap between the two of you.

"Hurt me?" he retorts, a smirk gradually forming on his lips. "No, I enjoyed myself thoroughly, dear."

There it is—the annoyingly smug smile, the annoying voice and the annoying comment that seems to mock your sincere question. However, in your annoyed state there is a rush of blood that hits your face, making you involuntary blush at the smug man's words. 

Karlach eyes Gale and Shadowheart beside her, a giggle threatening to escape the tieflings lips. Eyes brimming with glee she tries to whisper, but fails abysmally, as she leans in towards Shadowhearts pointed ear.

 “I told you, pay up!”

"Chk," Laezel interjects sharply, her voice cutting through the tension. "Are we done with all this bother, or should we endure further tales of your nocturnal endeavors?"

Her words, a blend of impatience and disdain, punctuate the moment, urging the party to move beyond the slight discomfort that hangs in the air. Gale seizes the opportunity by stepping between you and the rogue. 

“I’m glad we got everything sorted, though we have lost precious sun hours and the day still awaits.” the wizard says and gestures to the sun descending from its peak. “We should have an audience with Halsin and the other leaders at the groove about moving forward with the removal of our peculiar tadpoles.”

Gales' suggestion settles in the air, a collective agreement resonates through the party. The group disperses, each member silently retreating to their respective tents to collect the essentials needed for the discussion ahead.

Your gaze lingers on Astarion. He meets your glare with an arched eyebrow, his usual air of nonchalance seemingly disrupted by the intensity in your eyes. Without breaking eye contact, you turn away, determined to maintain a stoic exterior. 

His tricks and charm didn’t and would never work on you, or so you tell yourself at least. 

______________________________________________________________

Halsin, the venerable druid, steps forward, his demeanor a blend of wisdom and somber awareness. The party gathers around, listening intently as Halsin discusses the looming challenges that lie ahead. He speaks of the treacherous underdark and the perilous mountain pass, each word laden with the weight of the impending journey. Yet, amid the weighty deliberations, Halsin introduces a note of respite. 

"Before we delve into the challenges that await," he suggests, "let us take a moment to celebrate. The defeat of the goblin camp is no small feat, and it is only right that we acknowledge our victories."

The druids begin to prepare a modest feast meanwhile Laezel and Karlach take charge of arranging sturdy logs for seating around the central fire. Gale and Wyll offer their magical talents by conjuring small orbs of light that hover and cast a warm and enchanting glow. Even Shadowheart, who's usually more reserved, surprises the group by decorating the space with  a small collection of wildflowers she had quietly gathered during your travels.

While the party bustles around, setting up the camp for the night gathering, you find a moment to veer away from the preparations. A subtle pull guides you towards a blush red coloured tent - his tent. Exhaling, you prepare for the conversation ahead.

“Astarion, I think we need to talk.” you state as you catch a glance of yourself in a golden mirror placed on the elfs table beside the entrance.

You’d seen better days, hair strands wisping in the mild breeze and a slight sweat emerging from the rising anxiety pumping in your chest. 

The rogue swiftly unzips the tent and prompts you to enter. The atmosphere burdens your lungs with the unspoken tension as you prop yourself parallel to where Astarion sits. The elf soaks up your person, moving his gaze from your legs until they meet your orbs. Not wanting to feel the pulsing of your adrenaline coursing through your heart a moment longer than needed, you decide to cut through the tension, his eyes steadily maintaining eye contact as you do. 

“I need to know what happened last night, the entire truth of it.” you speak.

“Darling, I think you already know what happened last night, you want to know what didn’t happen.”

Rolling your eyes, you respond with a retort. "No, Astarion, I want to know what transpired between you drinking my blood and me waking up in camp hours later." Frustration courses through you, and you clench your hands, emphasizing the urgency of your inquiry. "I need to know if I hurt you."

"After I tasted your delicious blood, I might have overindulged," Astarion admits with a pause, carefully choosing his words. "Then, quite graciously, I carried you all the way back to camp."

"You jest, surely?" An unassuming chuckle escapes your mouth.

You had not hurt him but he’d hurt you. You’d almost apologized for it and he’d not even considered it to be a thing to be forgiven for. 

"Need I remind you that moments before, you too overindulged? Aiming that crossbow straight to my head." Astarion's brows furrow before he continues “I may not be a paragon of virtue, but neither are you.”.  His eyes demand that you stare into the crimson pools, reflecting your image. 

"Usstan'sargh wael." you retort, the unfamiliar words slipping out without conscious thought. They resonate within the tent, the atmosphere momentarily sterile as the words echo through your cortex. Usstan'sargh wael—a string of words from a different time, before the nautiloid. 

Whatever did they mean?

“I’m sorry, I don't know why I said that-”

“Usstan'sargh wael?” he interrupts. "Darling, you hurt me. I much prefer you calling me pretty," 

Why would you call him "pretty"? It hits you like a ton of bricks. In the midst of your delirium, you referred to him as pretty. An unexpected blush creeps up your cheeks. It's as if the memory has decided to unveil itself at the most inconvenient moment.

Gods above.

Trying to shake off the embarrassment, you clear your throat, attempting to redirect the conversation. "I was delirious and not thinking straight," you say, pausing before stumbling into a ramble. "Not that you're not easy on the eyes, but... Gods what am I trying to get at?”. Covering your face in embarrassment, you feel the elf shifting closer.

His lips curl into a teasing smile as he replies, "Well, my dear, I must admit, being considered easy on the eyes by someone as captivating as you is not an insult. And as for what you're trying to get at, I could think of a thing or two." 

With a mischievous glint in his ruby-red eyes, he shifts even closer, his slender fingers lifting your chin gently. The gesture forces you to meet his intense gaze, and in that moment, the air thickens with a palpable tension. Astarion's lips crash onto yours with a hunger that mirrors the intensity in his eyes. The unexpected kiss continues, its fervor only escalating as desire and playfulness intertwine, making your head spin. Astarion, with a soft but determined pull on your thigh, urges you to climb onto his lap. Skillfully, he shifts with your moving form, ensuring the kiss remains unbroken, as if the mere thought of parting would pull you out of the collective bliss that envelops you both.

Astarion's hands, deft and purposeful, trace the contours of your body, leaving a trail of tingling sensations in their wake. His fingers, with a hint of urgency, find the curve of your neck, and for a moment, time seems to slow. Your mind momentarily clears - Is this really a good idea?

The elf, driven by his own urges, hovers over the delicate expanse of your throat. His breath, warm and tantalizing, brushes against your skin as he pauses, his ruby-red eyes locked onto yours. There's a primal yearning in his gaze, a dance between the allure of forbidden desires and the magnetic pull of an inevitable encounter.

The kiss deepens, and with a subtle tilt of your head, you give in to temptation and offer him unhindered access. Astarion, like a predator with a taste for anticipation, teases with the notion of what's to come. His lips, hungry and insistent, trace a tantalizing path along your jawline, lingering at the pulse point of your neck.

In this charged moment, the line between pleasure and danger blurs, and you find yourself again hesitating whilst simultaneously yearning for his fangs to puncture your neck.  

“Try to be gentle, will you?” you urge as he plants sloppy kisses on your jugular vein.

A devious smirk decorates his lips, his breath hot on your neck. “Your wish is my command.” he murmurs as he kisses the sore wounds from yesterday's endeavors. 

Bracing you for what's to come, his hand dips from the small of your back even lower, the other assertively angeling your jaw upwards. As his hand continues to make its way down, he also tucks you closer. Suddenly, there is a new feeling -  him, full and straining against his leather pants. The proximity is intoxicating, his cock further pressing against your clothed and ever growing pool of heat. Mesmerized by the closeness, your senses scream at you -  you need to feel more, you need to feel him. 

Bucking your hips against his, desperate for any friction, Astarion pricks your skin. Droplets of blood spill freely and trickle down your heaving chest. Defty hands trace along the opening of your top, fingers pulling at the lacing. Each pull reveals another inch of skin exposed to his zealous gaze. Your warm blood dribbles further, a path trailing from your neck all the way down to your abdomen. Pausing, his eyes absorb his handiwork before tracking his hands at the hem of your top. Guided by his agile fingers, the top glides down your shoulders and hitches at your breasts and reveals your flushed skin. They slightly sway, nipples stiffening at the sensation, as the top is dragged to pool at your waist. You're fully displayed, breath hitching, smeared with blood and a throbbing below pressing against his excitement. 

“So pretty for me.” he whispers, eyes half lidded with pupils large enough to drown in. 

The elf leans in, hands gliding over your stiff peaks, and then circling and teasing them. The sensation sends shivers through your spine, making you softly whimper. Astarion’s tongue peers out and begins to lick the blood-path laid between the valley of your breasts. He alternates between licking and planting hungry kisses as he gradually moves towards one of your breasts. His thumb is brought to wrap around your nipple with his slick tounge, then beginning to suck and nibble gently. Moans escape your lips and a strained growl for the rogue's lips could be heard too. 

Gods, you need more.

An involuntary jerk escapes from your hips, prompting Astarion to grind against your hips in turn as his length twitches beneath you in excitement. Your arousal fogs your mind, wetness spreading between your folds as he sucks and circles your hard nipples whilst rolling his hips into you. 

The vapors of your enchanted state fueled by Astarions prying gaze, evapor at the familiar echoing in your skull. 

Please no.

Slithering in your skull there are several voices bouncing off your cranium. “Child, do not resist, for in surrender, you find the strength you seek. Embrace the darkness within, let it be your guide!”

Forget about it, you tell yourself. Just brush it off, it’s only a whisper.

Dexterously, Astarions slides his hands along the curve of waist, exploring your figure as his gaze dips to the hem of your trousers. His finger abruptly halts at the hem, his sharp eyes narrow as he now looks into yours. In that moment, a knowing expression flickers across his face.

“Darling?”

You dare not face him any longer, he’s too perceptive for you to fool. 

“I’m sorry, it’s the urge I didn't mean to scare you.” you say under your breath, eyes still not facing him. “I-” The urge in your head seize the opportunity, slipping out momentarily, your tadpole wriggles and catches its connection with his, revealing the poison dripped tongue that rests in your skull. 

“Only the blade can offer true salvation, true power. Succumb to the darkness within and we’d be unstoppable.”

Unknowingly you’d stumbled back from the elfs lap and now rested between his arched legs, your breathing growing more rapid. A dim, eerie figure hovered above his head, ghoulish in appearance, with dark fog caressing his curls and another hand winding ominously around his neck.

"Get away from him, let him be," you plead, the urgency in your voice contrasting with the unsettling presence that lingers.

Taking charge of the moment, Astarion catches your chin, forcing your pupil-blown eyes to meet his. “What ever haunts you, it won’t have you. Focus on me.”

The ghoulish figure above him recoils as if repelled by Astarion's resolve. The dark fog dissipates, revealing the familiar warm crimson hues in his eyes that contrasts starkly with the eerie specter.

Just as the unsettling specter dissipates, a sudden eruption of chaotic sounds pierces the air outside the tent. Urgent whispers, clashes of weapons, and primal roars signal an acute danger just beyond the tent walls.

"Hells, can we ever catch a godsdamn break?" Astarion mutters, a wry edge to his voice.

[hopefully-inspiring-persona]

(I apologize in advance I didn’t have the energy to type my thoughts so I used dictation and tried to edit as best I could. Also I’m so sorry for the length haha)

I know the fandom has been theorizing the fears being based off of desire Since like the second or third episode if not the first, so I might be behind on the game, but the latest episode really just had all of this click for me and all of the implications of what the entities being based off of desires mean, and I think Jon and Martin are permanently facets of the fears now and have fundamentally changed how they function.

I know we’ve all kind of been like “how the fuck are Jon, Martin, and Jonah (I’m assuming it’s Jonah) in the computer” and at first, I thought that maybe they got transported through the somewhere else and maybe they grabbed Jonah somehow when they did so or one of the entities gravitated towards Jonah in the TMAGP universe. Up until this point, I vaguely assumed that the Jon and Martin that are in Freddie are our Jon and Martin (Jonah being from protocol universe), now I’m heavily leaning towards Jon and Martin might not actually be in the computers. It could also be that our Jon and Martin grabbed this universe’s version of all three voices to use.

in the latest statement, needle guy (I can’t remember name, very excited for him to come back at some point) was talking about how he feeds off of the fear of his victims but also he knows that what he does is out of genuine love, and that he wants to cuddle and be with his victim. And thinking about how all of the previous statements functioned and how a lot of them did include some fear, but it was a lot of love and desire that really took centerstage over any true torture or horrid end.

And that got me thinking about the series one finale. The whole reason Jon was able to get through the Apocalypse was through his love for Martin. Jon and Martin got through everything the fears threw at them through their love and their devotion and their desire to try and fix things. And now desire and love is one of the core aspects of how these entities feed and commit and spread their terror. Jon and Martin fundamentally changed how the fears functioned through their love specifically. The fears were released into the Multiverse through their act of love, and through that sacrifice and the fact that Martin was so devoted to Jon and loved Jon so thoroughly that he would be betraying himself to do what he asked of him.

So yea I think Jon and Martin are fundamentally tied into the fear entity now. They were taken from their universe and transported to the somewhere else through their deaths, and became facets of the fear entities, and changed them so completely (the fears also probably effecting Jon and Martin like S5 Jon was acting in return). Maybe even the entities aren’t against one another they work with each other more now they’re more intelligent. All the statements as of late the fears have felt more targeted they it feels more intelligent. It feels like it has the same thought behind it as the web did. I had a really hard time with the violin statement because a lot of its aspect kind of gave Web vibes, but it ended up being more towards slaughter or voyeurism.

Even with needle guy, he is a mixture of so many different fears. And the way he was talking about his love, and how he was talking about his victim really reminded me of how Jon and Martin felt but in a really fucked up avatar way, which is really what led me to these thoughts. It feels like they’re really all mixed together and it’s all connected through a love or desire, and it has that obsession twisted. Sometimes it does more good for the victim than it does bad, but also still has that tinge of darkness.

I genuinely have no idea if the fears will even function in the same way that we know them. Because already they feel kind of familiar but also it’s really hard to pinpoint one specific fear for each statement. I think it really became more like colors through their tampering, and instead of hating each other they loved each other and they actively tried to blend with each other when given an opportunity to.

So yeah, I’m really excited for less animalistic fears and way more thought out and malicious shit happening across the board. I still don’t fucking know how they’re in the computer but also part of me feels like they’re not in the computer, but also the computers definitely have some kind of personality that is reminiscent of the original Jon and Martin so I have no fucking clue. Alice talking to the computer like Martin talks to the tape recorders is genuinely a significant plot point I feel and I guess we just have to sit and wait to figure out how this all plays out because we’re literally only at episode six lol. 

(on a sidenote, while writing this, I also had the thought that maybe the watcher crown is still in effect, and that Jon and Martin do still have a slight bit of control over the fears and that’s why it feels intelligent? I definitely don’t think it’s the Jon and Martin we know I feel like they are beyond their original consciousness lol. But there’s still that little bit of humanity in them I guess. Like their version of morals is heavily influenced by the fears view of reality, but also, they still have a bit of their original thought process, and so that all mixed together kind of has this more benevolent, yet still malicious version of the entity. Like a monkeys paw almost. Chester and Noris could be the original subconscious of Jon and Martin that is a byproduct of their power over the entity and the reason Jonah is there is because of their strong emotional connection/recognition right before the merge which caused this reality’s Jonah who is probably just as connected to the watcher as he was in our series to become forcefully put into the computer or something)

On a second less long tangent, I love how we were wishy-washy about maybe the entities being about desire, and then Jonny decided in this latest episode to bash us over the head with “ITS ABOUT LOVE AND ABOUT FEAR” lol

[tired-truffle]

The Art of Pointed Questions

A DamienxAmma Fic

Word Count: 2.7k

Part 1/1 - Complete

Based off the prompt from tumblr user @creativepromptsforwriting

P.S.: If you haven’t read this series but you like my other fics, i highly recommend reading Villains and Virtues by A.K. Caggiano, its literal gold 💯

Masterlist

“Have you ever had a friendship bracelet?”

The ridiculousness of that question echoed across the rocky walls surrounding their path as it wound through a small craig. It wasn’t the first absurd question that Amma had asked in their seemingly never-ending journey toward Faebarrow, but this one had to be one of the most egregious yet. 

Had Damien Maleficus Bloodthrone, Son of Zagadoth the Tempestuous, Ninth Lord of the Infernal Darkness and Abyssal Tyrant of the Sanguine Throne, ever had a friendship bracelet? 

The better question would be if he’d had any friends at all, to which the answer would be a resounding no. He was evil, evil beings did not have such childish things as friends. 

Damien didn’t justify it with an answer, instead, he released a heavy, long-suffering sigh and debated using the talisman’s power to get her to stop talking - it seemed he was debating this almost every minute he let her have free reign of her own speech. 

Kaz had scrambled off somewhere a half hour ago and had yet to come back, however, Damien could sense his presence skulking behind them. The imp had been keeping Amma busy chatting - though it had in truth been Amma chatting at him and Katz shooting back cruel names and annoyed looks. But even his loyal minion couldn’t withstand that brand of torture forever and had fled in a burst of rage, leaving Amma with a new target who was much less engageable than Kaz. 

Damien thoroughly debated - for what felt like the millionth time - leaving Amma behind just to avoid her inane questions. Yet he couldn’t leave the talisman unattended, could he? Hence his constant debate on ordering her to shut her mouth. He’d done worse to others for less heinous acts, surely this wasn’t unreasonable.

“I know you heard me, Damien, don’t pretend you’re too dark and broody for a friendship bracelet.” Damien could practically hear the eye roll in her voice and he stifled an irritated growl. “You were a kid at some point, right? Kids give each other friendship bracelets, half-demon or not. I bet you were just like all the other kids, playing with your toys and frolicking in the streets or whatever it is kids do in creepy cities - skulking through the streets?” Amma giggled, apparently, the image of a tiny Damien, pout on his face as he skipped around was too much for her to contain herself. 

“I am evil, Amma. Evil people do not frolic, no matter their age.” Damien shot her a withering look. But like a fool, he’d fallen for her bait, and he watched as a wide smirk pulled at her round cheeks. Not wanting to admit to having been beaten, he hissed, “Sanguinisui, do not talk until we reach our camp tonight.” Amma’s mouth snapped shut as her teeth clacked together. Knowing her - as he had unfortunately come to in their time travelling together - she’d been about to gloat and Damien had managed to catch her before she could, thank the hells. 

She narrowed her eyes at him, clearly irritated, which only succeeded in painting a smug grin across his lips. Gesturing to the surrounding forest, she put her hands to her throat and made a strangled sound, her tongue comically sticking out the side of her mouth. He supposed he couldn’t blame her after the last time they’d been attacked and she’d been unable to make a shout for help because of his orders. 

Somewhere behind them, Damien heard Kaz make a wretching sound. 

Damien rolled his eyes but conceded - he couldn’t risk losing the talisman. “Sanguinisui, you may only ignore that last order if you are in danger.”

Satisfied that she wasn’t at imminent risk, Damien turned away from her, clicking his heels against his ‘horse’ to spurn it on faster. The last thing he needed was to look back at where she sat, dejected and fuming. He didn’t want to feel any sort of pity for her, like how he’d feel pity for a weak little kitten caught out in the rain. He had other more important things on his mind, like getting his father out of the crystal, his main objective. He didn’t have the time to spare her any sympathy. 

The peace and quiet that had accompanied his order had been truly blissful for about thirty seconds before Kaz took it upon himself to sit behind Damien - now that Amma couldn’t speak to him - and glare at her, making rude gestures along with some snide remarks. Amma had then taken it upon herself to pull stones out of the bottom of her boots and chuck them as hard as she could at Kaz’s impudent face. Unfortunately for Damien, said face was right behind his back, and Amma’s aim was by no means her best ability. She ended up mostly pelting Damien with the pebbles. When one had the audacity to bounce off the back of his head, the scathing glare he shot her way had been enough to make her rethink her actions. Perhaps throwing stones at the man who was in charge of all your actions and would soon be killing you, wasn’t the wisest course of action, unless you were trying to speed up said killing and subsequent death. 

By the time they made camp, Damien was in an even fouler mood than he had been after seeing Xavier - which was saying something since that lecherous blood mage never failed to make his blood boil. Damien spat out his usual commands to Amma, told Kaz to guard her, and trekked off into the woods to find them some dinner. Surely hunting a creature would make him feel better.

Kaz took that as his opportunity to discipline Amma himself. “How dare you anger Master Bloodthrone, he does not have time for your petty grievances, you are his captive.” And for good measure, “Whore.”

Damien didn’t bother listening to Amma’s indignant response, he’d heard enough of their banter to know what she’d say, and he was sure it would only serve to piss him off further. 

By the time he returned to camp an hour later, a small hare in hand and much calmer after releasing his magic on some unsuspecting trees, he was feeling much more collected. 

Amma had her back to him, facing the small fire she’d built and was hopelessly trying to start by spinning a stick in between her hands on top of another slightly larger stick. 

“That won’t work,” Damien said in lieu of a greeting. 

Amma yelped - the sound much too high-pitched to be at all dignified - and spun around, having been so focused on her task that she hadn’t heard the crunch of dead leaves under his heavy boots when he’d walked up behind her. 

Damien smirked. Good, scaring unsuspecting innocent girls was something evil people did, evil like Damien. 

“You don’t have to startle me, you know, I was only trying to help.” Amma dropped her sticks, a light blush tinging her pale cheeks. 

Damien shrugged and with a wave of his hand, he’d quickly lit the fire. Magic was a wonderful thing. 

“Showoff,” Amma muttered under her breath, crossing her arms over her chest. Kaz cracked an eye open from where he was resting on a rock, satisfied that Amma looked dejected, he closed his eyes again. 

Amma turned away from the fire, picking at the long grass and small wildflowers that were bordering the little clearing they’d found. Damien paid her no mind and set to work preparing their dinner. By the time it was cooked and devoured by all participants, it was time for bed. 

Damien gave Amma her nightly commands, - sit, stay, play nice - and settled down to sleep, turning away from where she sat, staring off into the dark woods, fiddling with grass in her hands. If she didn’t want to sleep, that was on her, but she better not be cranky tomorrow. He didn’t know how he would cope with more irritation after today, he had his limits, and Amma being here was already pushing it. She’d already steered his evil plan of course. He now had to go all the way to Faebarrow to get the amulet out of her - so he didn’t have to kill her. It was out of pity of course, like that cat stuck in the rain, he wasn’t evil enough to push it under a carriage wheel, even if it would end its suffering. 

And if his dreams were filled with horrible images of a lost blonde cat, shivering in the rain, no one had to know but him. 

When Damien woke, the first thing he noticed was that Amma was not where he’d left her sulking by the fire. The second was that said sulker was no longer looking so miserable and had moved to hover over the small sleeping form of their resident imp. 

“Do I want to know what you’re doing?” Damien asked, rolling to his side and propping himself up on his elbow, swiping a hand down his face. It was much too early to be dealing with this, but the sooner he got whatever ridiculousness was going on out of the way, the better the rest of his day would be. 

Amma whirled around, eyes widened in surprise and hands clasped guiltily in front of her chest, pulling Damien’s eyes to the ample cleavage her shirt did very little to cover. He quickly looked back up to her face, pleased to see she showed no indication that she’d noticed his brief lapse of control of his gaze. 

“Have you finally smothered him in his sleep like he deserves?” 

Amma squawked indignantly. “Of course not!” 

Damien shrugged, sitting up and stretching his arms out from the little aches and pains he’d gained from their sleep on the hard, unforgiving ground. 

“That’s too bad.”

“Damien!” Amma hissed, her forehead pinched. “Don’t be so mean to him, look how cute he is when he’s sleeping.” 

Cute wouldn’t be how Damien would describe Kaz, his protruding lower jaw wide open, drooling onto the rock he’d made into a pillow, his spindly body spread out haphazardly. In a way, he looked almost dead, if it weren’t for the rise and fall of his chest. Damien could see how he could look peaceful, perhaps, but cute felt like a bit of a stretch. 

Damien had prepared another retort, unable to help himself, when a small band of green and white caught his gaze, pulling it toward the imp’s wrist. He rubbed his eyes to ensure he was seeing correctly, and when he blinked away the black spots, he saw that the small band was still there. It was made of thick grass interwoven with small white flowers into a delicate braid pattern and tied in a neat bow. 

Damien looked between the bracelet and Amma, his eyebrow raised. 

“I think it suits him,” Amma said, smiling down at the sleeping imp. “And I’m very good at making friendship bracelets.” 

Damien felt a headache coming on, he thought they’d left this conversation yesterday, “Imps don’t have friends.”

“They do now.”

Stubborn as ever, Amma refused to relent, and Damien no longer knew why he even bothered arguing about this. Kaz would wake up, tear off the offending item, and call her some rude names, to which she would insist he keep the bracelet and be unnecessarily kind to the hateful creature. 

And Damien had to pee, something he had no plans of putting off for a pointless argument. 

He stood up, brushing off his clothes as he popped the joints in his knees. She frowned, that was odd, there seemed to be an unfamiliar object moving on his wrist. Anger built in his chest before he laid eyes on the object. He already knew what it was. 

“We aren’t friends either,” Damien growled, eyes flashing as he looked at where Amma stood, a sly smile on her face. It was unnerving that she’d been able to get the bracelet on his wrist whilst he slept without him noticing, and he would have to add a new line to her commands about not touching him when he was unconscious. He would have noticed earlier, had this grass and flower bracelet not somehow been entirely black, blending in with his black sleeves. 

“I even covered it in ashes so it would match your moody aesthetic.” Amma flicked her fingers at him and he felt an indignant jolt run through his chest. He wasn’t moody, though arguing that point would not help his case.

And he would never in a thousand years admit that he couldn’t help but feel it was also strangely…. thoughtful, that she would take into account his preference of colour, or lack thereof. 

He grunted, unable to come up with a proper retort so early in the morning, he turned swiftly on his heels to march towards the forest. 

“I’m not keeping it,” he called, not bothering to face her as he lifted his arm up and yanked the bracelet off. The bow came apart, ripping slightly as it did. 

“No!” Amma’s disappointment was clear in her tone and Damien ignored the tug in his gut from some stupid emotion he didn’t bother putting a name to - likely pity, that was about all his evil heart was capable of in this situation - and he continued his journey to find some quiet and private place to pee. It shouldn’t have been as difficult a task as it had been.

“Fine, be a miserable loner then!” she yelled after him. 

“I’m evil, Amma, evil people don’t have friends, and they certainly don’t wear friendship bracelets,” Damien drawled, grinning to himself. “Right, Kaz?” He raised his voice so the imp could hear him. If he hadn’t been evil he would have felt bad about sicking Kaz on her, who at Damien’s call, realized what Amma had bestowed upon him, and was reacting just as he had expected. 

Damien chuckled, revenge felt good, these were the consequences of her actions. Including him throwing that damned bracelet away and never looking back. 

He twirled the bracelet between his fingers, the ash rubbing off as he did so. It was strange that she’d gone through so much effort to give him something she knew he wouldn’t like. The son of a Demon Lord is wearing a friendship bracelet; how absolutely ludicrous. It would get him laughed out of Yvlcon, and he could only imagine what his father would say should he show up to free him from the crystal with an ash-covered, grass and flower braid around his wrist. 

He went to toss it into a bush, but at the last second, he hesitated. He couldn’t name what had stopped him, but the image of Amma, eyes wide and glistening with tears over all her hard work going to waste, of him rejecting the gift… it made him seethe quietly, but at the same time, he found himself unable to let go of the offending item. 

Resisting the urge to stomp childishly, he shoved the bracelet into his pocket. With any luck he’d forget about it and it would become crumpled beyond repair, and at last, he could part with it, if it didn’t turn to dust first. 

It would serve as a reminder that he didn’t need such things, that they weren’t for people like him. Bad people don’t deserve nice things. But if he kept it in his pocket, if he ruined such a nice gift, then maybe he could keep it, if only as a show of how evil he truly was, to hurt someone who had only tried to be kind.

He didn't have friends, nor would he ever, no matter how hard Amma tried, he was sure that he would be a ‘miserable loner’ for the rest of his life. It was his fate, no friendship bracelets would ever change that. 

Damien shook himself, he should really be more concerned that that thought upset him, but as he listened to the sounds of Kaz and Amma bickering, he couldn’t help but feel a warmth light somewhere within the deep, dark recesses of his heart. 

That damn girl and her damn kindness, surely it would be the death of him. He wasn’t sure what was worse, that his tombstone may read ‘Damien Maleficus Bloodthorne, Killed by Kindness” or that he wasn’t sure he would mind it, as long as it was Amma, with her bright smile and even brighter laugh, who did it.

A/N: I adore this series and it needs so much more hype!! Its literally the funniest and the cutest and had me giggling and kicking my feet???? Irl??? Wild.

Brb gonna go consume everything this author has ever written ✌️

[confinedmadness]

[Game Review] 結合男子 -  Elements with Emotions

I’ve been wanting to play this game since finding out about it during the Tokyo Game Show 2022 in September last year. I admit, I was drawn to it purely based on the art. But, after knowing more about it, I realized it was a type of game I play often enough anyways.

Elements with Emotions is a visual novel-style game where in you pair up different characters to proceed to different story routes. At the moment, the game is only available in Japanese and can only be played with Nintendo Switch.

I bought and downloaded the game on release day, and after a day I’ve finished exactly 2 endings (1 proper ending, and 1 failed ending). Overall, the game was fun to play, with a rather simplistic story but a cast of varied lovable characters, and a repetitive leveling system but very interesting ability concept.

Story

Personally, the story is okay. “Dead matter” is overtaking the world and turning it into nothingness. We join the main characters as they fight against dead matter with elemental powers. It keeps you interested enough to keep going, with a few twists here and there, especially towards the end, but really nothing special. 

I think the story is burdened by a lot of terminology. While it does help create a completely different world, it also introduces a lot of complexity that I thought it didn’t really need. Sometimes, they just made the story harder to understand instead of making it interesting.

If you have the patience to immerse yourself in the world though, you will be rewarded because the worldbuilding was great. There’s even a lot to learn from reading the glossary of terms and the information packed into the descriptions / explanations.

Characters

I do love the characters in this game. Character design is amazing, and they thoroughly make use of this in the marketing of the game. Each character has their own twitter account (yes, the character) and you can see each of their personalities shine that way. I think this is only possible because each character was well thought out.

As with any visual novel, you don’t really get to know all the characters in a single playthrough. You get to know the most about someone in a route where they are the central character. And then you get to know extra information about them in the other routes where they serve a more minor role. 

However, considering I only really played through the entire story once (because the failed ending was really too early), I do think they did a great job of introducing the characters and giving you a chance to know each one a little bit. Enough for you to be interested in them.

Every in-game day, you have a chance to talk to a character or pair of characters and learn more about them (their personality, hobbies, what they do and where they go in their free time, etc).

I am personally really excited to buy Misora’s additional content so I can play his routes. Despite playing a relatively small role in the route I did, he definitely caught my attention.

Also, the game has a wonderful voice acting cast, which is always a really big point for me.

Game Play

At its core, this game works just like every other visual novel. You read the story and every now and then, you will be presented with choices that will affect dialogue, responses, and the story as a whole.

The unique aspect of this game, however, lies in its use of the elements. Every character has the power of a specific element. No, not the classical elements like earth, wind, water, fire. I’m talking about chemical elements-- hydrogen, lithium, carbon, etc.

Every in-game day, you’re able to train chosen characters. You can choose between 3 activities: (1) “link” two characters (elements) so their connection  becomes stronger, (2) train your whole team so their shared abilities become stronger, or (3) let them rest so their “happiness” is restored and their future training becomes more effective.

The abilities are my favorite thing in the game. Abilities are named after chemical compounds. And yes, you can only use abilities if you have all required atoms to form the compound. For example, to use the ability Carbon Dioxide (CO2), you need to have 1 carbon and 2 oxygen atoms available. These atoms are generated with every attack that the corresponding character makes.

I swear I had so much fun learning about these compounds (even though you don’t need to understand them to play the game) that if this game had existed when I was still in high school, I might have gotten a better grade in chemistry.

Finally, during a fight, once your “link gauge” has been filled, you can then “link” your chosen pair so that they are strengthened and can deliver a killing blow to the enemy. (So far, all enemies died once I’m able to link, but I’m unsure if it guarantees the end of a fight.)

All in all, had a lot of fun with it and looking forward to trying out different pairings and seeing the different stories. Also, excited to form more compounds with more characters as additional stories are released in the coming weeks.

[economic-echoes]

Finding My Way To Economics

Suki here,

Many moons ago, when I was a mere 15 years old, I was choosing my A-Levels. I went looking for a shiny new subject that would combine all my skills and interests. Would it be sociology, psychology or maybe even business studies? Those classic subjects that all prospective A-Level students seem attracted to. 

To find the answer to my question, I decided to research the subjects I found most enjoyable and the ones that would go best with maths. The first place I decided to look was in my school library where I knew there were magazines designed specifically to help people choose their A-Levels. Having looked through several publications, while I found them all interesting, it wasn't until I picked up the November 2020 issue of Economics Review that I was truly entranced.

I stumbled upon an article that talked about the economics of pubs and evaluated their declining numbers. First the page examined some of the key economic issues involving the pub industry and then ended with a question: Should their fate be left to the market, or should the government intervene? I found this discussion very fascinating because I had rarely thought of the world through an economic lens much before, other than in geography case studies (which looking back, I enjoyed the most). The article introduced new themes to me like division of labour through the pin analogy from Adam Smith (Wealth of Nations) and how it can improve productivity. It also touched on topics like economies of scale and oligopolies. It was all so exciting and interesting, I found out there was a whole secret world behind the one I thought I lived in, and I was desperate to learn more.

To advance my knowledge in this subject I decided to find a book to read. After having googled economics books for beginners, I found myself enticed by Freakonomics by Stephen J. Dubner and Steven Levitt. I thoroughly enjoyed it as an introduction to economics because its humorous notes made it very entertaining. The authors also did an excellent job at helping me understand statistical concepts at an intuitive level, and how I could use the concepts to better understand the real-world problems discussed in the book.

After more research into the subject, I found out that not only did economics consist of microeconomics; the branch of economics that considers the behaviour of decision takers within the economy, such as individuals, households and firms, but also macroeconomics; the study of the actions governments and countries take to influence broader economies. So, this was where I decided to research next. At the time, ChatGPT had just been released and I was fascinated to know how this would affect the labour market. As part of my English GCSE coursework, we were assigned to write a speech on a subject of our choosing so long as it was compelling and interesting so then I decided to pick the topic The Economic Impact of AI. (I will upload this speech at a later date with current insights and reflections alongside).

Now I'm a 16-year-old amid my A-Levels; Economics, Maths, Further Maths, Computer Science. I'm getting stuck in and learning a lot.

[rolotouto]

Some sounds and anthology raws

I’m doing my best to try to obtain the CD that was released today... But in the meatime, let me use this blog to share and preserve some hard-to-find, obscure things from the past as well! First of all, as I was looking through old files, I came across a few stories from some comic anthologies I’ve previously talked about, which I had completely forgotten to have already scanned. Have a link to a folder. They are untranslated, but if anyone has any specific request, feel free to ask. And now, here are some short audio files, mostly from references to Rolo by other sources rather than Code Geass itself: ・ From R2′s Room #5 (May 2008) AUDIO FILE Well, we start with one that does belong to official Geass stuff. “R2′s Room” were brief videos where different voice actors talked about an episode of R2 each time (Daichuu shows up in episodes 5 to 8, so you can hear him talk about Turn 5, 6, 7 and 8). The audio clip focuses on the scene where Lelouch “teaches” Rolo how to hold a knife properly during Turn 5:

So... Rolo and... Well, the relationship between Rolo, whom I voice, and Lelouch, has taken... another small step forward, would it be right to call it? Well, Rolo, after all, he still suspects Lelouch a bit, and just when he was thinking “Should I kill him after all...?” and grabbed the knife like this...! “That’s not right, is it, Rolo?”, he[Lelouch] said, and took his hand like... “The way you use a knife is like this”. And when he did that, Rolo was like ”Ah! Yes, I’ll be careful...” immediately... Rolo, you know, became attached to Lelouch so quickly, and in that moment, even though he could have kept quiet about it, he brought up that “My Geass has a weakness”. So yeah, at this point you can see that he’s totally hooked, huh.

As a side note related to this, you might have seen the term はぁん in lots of old Japanese art/blog posts about Rolo (even though it’s no longer as referenced as it used to be). That word - well, “interjection”, originates from a magazine interview, where Daichuu was talking about the same Turn 5 scene and said:

He(Rolo) does think “Maybe I really should kill him.” I’m sure that he’s still uneasy. Wondering if Lelouch’s love is real, and so on. But as soon as he receives some physical contact, he goes “haa~n” and is quickly won over (laughs).

Even though it's only a written interview and no fan was there to hear what exactly that 'haa~n' sounded like (in R2's Room, what Daichuu says is more like 'Aah,' right?), the way it's spelled creates the impression of a cute and also kind of unnecessarily suggestive reaction. Thus はぁん became well known by Rolo enthusiasts on the Japanese side of the fandom.  --------- ・From the radio program Sayonara Zetsubou Housou #49 (6th August 2008) AUDIO FILE Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei radio program with A LOT of info on its wiki, due to the radio program itself containing even more pop cult references and inside jokes than the source material. Hiroshi Kamiya announces that it’s time for today’s farewell message, which, as requested by a listener, is...:

Daichuu: "After thoroughly being in despair, I will be thrown away like a ragged cloth!"

If you're familiar with Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei, then you'll recognize the main character's catchphrase "I'm in despair!", which here is combined with the borozoukin line. Also, the listener requested a line which is written in the passive voice, since Daichuu/Rolo would be the one to read it (I mean that it’s no longer “I’ll throw you away” but “I’ll be thrown away”), but still included Lelouch’s てやる, so it sounds a little weird. Almost like Rolo is determined to be thrown away, like he’s saying it with an “I’ll show you how I get thrown away!” tone. --------- ・ From the radio program Nagisa to Sanae no Omae ni Rainbow #44 (8th August 2008) AUDIO FILE Also known as “Clannad radio”. This one doesn’t have Daichuu, but you can hear Kikuko Inoue (Cécile Croomy) saying “I’ll throw you away like a ragged cloth,” as requested by a listener. --------- ・ From the radio program Sayonara Zetsubou Housou #50 (13th August 2008) AUDIO FILE Daichuu saying “Za waarudo! Toki yo, tomare!”. Then Ryouko Shintani adds the disclaimer: "This radio program is a work of fiction, and the appearing characters, groups, organization names, and Rolo's Geass are fictitious." --------- ・ From the radio program Seiyuu Do (25th March 2010) AUDIO FILE A radio program where voice actors and actresses are interviewed. At some point, Daichuu introduces the next song that will play: Well, my character’s... It’s based on my character, I mean, it’s a song that played during my character's final moments and is a very moving piece, so please listen to it. By Hitomi: ‘Boku wa Tori ni Naru.’ Man, if only Daichuu would sing his own version of BokuTori in Rolo’s voice...  --------- ・ From the radio program Music and Comic Plus (4th February 2010) AUDIO FILE Daichuu saying “Please, treat me like a disposable rag” (and the radio host reacting with “Cuuuuuute!”). Yes, the person who requested this must be pretty mean, but then again the entire program has rather indecent lines...  --------- I also newly added the audio clip of Lelouch saying “To prove that the fact Shirley and Rolo lived had a meaning...” to this post, since I’d previously only included the transcription. That’s it for now. If anyone found this sort of post interesting, there’s more audios from old ads and such here!

[dogshit-enchantment]

thoughts about totk

i dont know if its just me, but does anyone else feel like the story direction for this game is kindve ... bad? like the actual plot itself was interesting at first but everytime the characters try to deliver a serious line of 'my secret stone' I can't help but laugh at them. It sounds like a mistranslation you would see in a 90's port of a game, not a multi-million dollar triple A title in 2023.

Not only that goofy nature of it but like, why is Zelda so british? No one else is, not even her dad. Why did they chose a VERY british direction for her voice and no one else? It's so distracting and every time she talks I don't pay attention to what she's saying cuz I wish she would just stop talking. (I still hold a grudge over her for feeding Link a fucking frog and then people have the audacity to be like 'oh theyre in love' like no thats fucking sibling behavior at best.)

There's so many aspects of the game where it feels like they want a very specific series of events to happen and there's a very intended player experience. But then... you can go anywhere. Do anything. You can EASILY miss important things (I missed several of the Dragon's Tears because I wasn't aware there was something I was supposed to be grabbing from them I just thought it was scenery) and you can easily find yourself in areas you're not meant to be in yet. "Just teleport out!" Why didn't they just make a linear game that wasn't built as a wanna-be DLC expansion pack?

Having to re-explore a world I'd already put 200+ hours into is frankly tiresome. And to make it THREE TIMES as large??? Exhausting.

I wanted to like this game so much. I preordered it. I went to the midnight release. I played it for six fucking hours the first full day I was able to play it. And after leaving the Great Sky Island all I'm left feeling is... frustrated.

Frustrated at the unclear, hidden direction of where you're supposed to go. Frustrated at the massive size of the map that doesn't have That Many Changes to make it worth going through the nooks and crannies. Frustrated that they turned botw -my favorite climbing simulator- into a gimmick-based game that doesn't like you to use its own gimmick.

The constructs break apart too easily. If you build a flying construct that works well it breaks after about a min and a half of flying. If you build a car to traverse the land it despawns if you hit any cutscene trigger - which are often invisible and unavoidable.

This felt more like a Zelda game in the general flavor of it; you get the classic enemies back, you get actual bomb flowers again, Link is wearing green for fucks sake, and you get actual temples. But the actual heart of it doesn't feel like a Zelda game. The plot feels sloppy at best, rushed at worst, and the voice acting is so genuinely bad it's distracting and embarrassing. The only voice actor I didn't hate was Rauru (Chris Hackney, Legend) and Tulin (Christina Vee, also a Legend), even Sidon felt incredibly stilted.

It feels like the game punishes the player for using the mechanics it gives you to use and play with. Even the fuse mechanic feels like such a back-hand. "Oh we heard the players got frustrated at weapons having a limited usage, so instead of extending it or offering a repair service, we just made Every Weapon Shitty" like wtf. And even for the fuse mechanic theres only ONE PLACE that lets you unfuse and it's through a clunky dialogue menu! (my favorite!!! totally not the reason I stopped playing acnh!!!!) I played for 50 hours and was positive you couldn't unfuse weapons. Wow.

botw was fun and I thoroughly enjoyed it and the fact that your tools were simply on a cooldown. totk feels like a resource-scavenger except the resources are so hard to actually acrue. Not only that, but I've seen other ppl complain about how much harder it feels to upgrade your equipment. As if they needed some way to bloat the game even more.

This is just me rambling about my feelings and maybe talking in circles about it but I feel annoying trying to actively discuss my feelings with anyone so I guess this will do.

I've only beaten half of the bosses and 3 of the temples, but I don't know if I'll be able to keep going. I got stuck at the fire temple boss and I would argue its the worst temple in the game and I haven't even gotten to the Gerudo one. That's just how strongly I feel about the fire temple. I hate the minecart layout, I hate the lava puzzle mechanics, and I literally rage-quited after my 10th attempt at the boss. The water temple boss was annoying but it was mostly just learning patterns and having good reaction time. The fire temple boss is JUST rng.

which sucks cuz the wind temple was sick!!!! it was so cool!!! and the boss was probably one of my top 20 bosses!!! and then I did the water temple and Sidon kept glitching out and wouldn't accompany me for half of the trip up to it, and the GRAVITY!!!! UGH!!!!!!

I'm trying to think of points of the game I've truly enjoyed and I think the highlights of it have been: got to keep Epona from my botw save. But then that turned out to be a nothing burger since you can't have her tow anything. (also the fucking towing minigame that feels so insulting. "please take us to the great fairy!" YOU COULDVE JUST WALKED ITS LITERALLY A FIVE MINUTE WALK)

uhh, other good points uhhh, the new armor is pretty cool. I really like the Ember and Miner set. I really like the cave system. (shouldn't really be a feature but whatever) and uhhhhhhhh, yeah idk. I'm struggling to find points I truly enjoyed past the introductory level. like yeah building a car is cool! ... until it despawns and you lose 40min and work, and yeah I know autobuild can rebuild it but I'm not made of spare parts. And like, the korok puzzles were cute! Until you find one every 15 min and they take at least 10 to get them to their friend.

I think the most enjoyable minigame was the one with the sign dude on the side of the road where you help him hold it up. That was one of the better, more enjoyable parts of the game for me so far. It felt like it actually tested your building skills while not being truly punishing. Just start over if it doesnt work.

botw was a strong like 8/10 for me, and I think totk is gonna unfortunately be like a 5/10. The direction is janky at best. The gimmicks of the game are viable for most of the game. Exploring the same world with minor changes is frustrating and boring. Exploring the Depths makes me want to personally throw up since I have a phobia of dark, open spaces with Things lurking inside. Exploring the sky is fun but I didn't realize you could *reuse* the sheikah tower until 45 hours in because why would I think it would let me do it again??? So it felt inaccessible and frustrating.

The ability to fuse anything to anything and have it run and work well is a technical marvel! I'm not saying its not. But does it make a good *game*? Does it make the story direction work? Does it make the boss fights and dungeons work? imo... no. It doesn't. It makes a good tech demo. It makes an impressive piece of programming.

maybe i'll have more thoughts but I just needed to get all that out.

if you read it all thanks if not you wont be seeing this lol

[kellanved-ammanas]

So I have a request for the nye event, could please you write a drabble with the pairing heavy/engineer/medic where heavy has the one braincell (knows that just because you can do something doesn't mean that you should do that thing)

Thank you for the request! (For this request event.)

Not Infallible

One of the greatest things about their relationship arrangement was how Heavy got to sit nearby and listen to Medic and Engie talk through and about their experiments, things they were working on together or their own personal projects. He did not understand a lot of what they said, they often spoke too fast and used lingo Heavy was unfamiliar with, but listening to them discuss so energetically the things they were passionate about was a treat. … Except when it wasn’t.

It had started as idle speculation. Which one of them had even brought up the idea, Heavy didn’t know anymore and probably neither did either of them. But now they were discussing it seriously, going over all they’d need to actually perform their proposed experiment.

“Nyet,” he said as he closed the book he’d been pretending to read. “No more giant bread monsters. Two is enough.” The one on the moon had been particularly troublesome. Risking releasing such a beast in a far less easily controlled zone was a bad idea.

Over at Engie’s workbench, the two of them had already laid out and fired up their testing teleporters. Medic had pulled out one of the cages containing one of the many small bread monsters they’d made when researching the beasts. “But I wish to study how it so thoroughly infiltrated the entire moon base. Which I could’ve done on the moon if not for the pesky BLU team blowing it up.”

Secretly Heavy was glad the BLU team had blown it up before Medic and Engie could do too much with it. He trusted them to know what they were doing but he didn’t trust them to take their own safety into as much account as they should. The thing had killed all the scientists in the base after all and while Medic and Engie were smarter than the lot of them, it was unlikely any of them had been stupid. All it would take was one mistake, overlooking a single safety measure, or underestimating it one time and they’d end up as its lunch.

“Also,” Engie added, “we want to see how big we can make one before it collapses under its own weight.” Such speculation had been the start of the conversation.

“No,” Heavy said again, firmer this time. “Is dumb idea. Too dangerous. I do not think even I could fight such beast if gets out of control.” If it attacked either of his lovers, he’d try anyway of course but likely wouldn’t win. That wasn’t how he intended to die and thus this was another reason why he couldn’t let them do this experiment. “And is only matter of time before that happens. We barely killed big bread monster in base and that was small, itty-bitty, compared to moon one and you two want to make one even bigger.”

“We could rig it with explosives before hand,” Engie said. “That way we could blow it up if it got out and started rampaging.”

“How would we attach the bombs?” Medic asked. “It’s far too small for anything that would do substantial harm to it once it’s big as we’re trying to make it.” He gestured to the quite small cage in his hand to illustrate his point.

Engie frowned in silent thought for a few moments before replying. “And once it’s big enough for that, it’d be quite hard to attach the explosives without risking it being able to make them blow up in our faces and/or us becoming its lunch. So… perhaps Heavy’s right; this is one of those ideas we shouldn’t test. Not ‘til we got better equipment and whatnot anyway.”

Medic gave Engie an annoyed look that he then turned onto Heavy but ultimately he sighed in resignation. “Yes. Heavy is correct. With our current testing setup, it is too dangerous.”

“Thank you,” Heavy said, giving them an approving nod as Engie turned the teleporters off and Medic turned to place the bread monster cage back on the wall where he’d taken it from. Even the two of them, genius as they were, needed the occasional reminder that they weren’t infallible. Heavy was proud they trusted him enough to let him give them that reminder.

[alexsfictionaddiction]

Alex Recommends: May Books

May has certainly been a crazy, exciting month and I am really looking forward to the summer getting under way. I don't say that very often, as I'm certainly a colder weather lover but my future is really looking bright at the moment.

I have managed to secure a full time job! The even better news than that is that it's in a university library, which hopefully means I'll get to use my MA. Speaking of which, I have now entered the dissertation period and really don't know how I will manage to fit that in around a full time job but it will have to be done.

I don't have a start date yet but they will almost certainly want me to start before September, so that I know what I'm doing when the students return. They have hired me and another person (who I will have met because we had a group interview with about 12 of us) as new full time library assistants and it seems to be a really lovely, supportive team. So, I really can't wait to get my librarian career started!

I have nailed down a dissertation topic and have begun the preliminary research for it. I'm still not completely sure of the format or how I'll get the data but there is still time to explore my options there.

Mark is also ready to start applying for teaching jobs and I know it won't be long before he gets something secured too. We are trying to move further south to make it easier to see both of our friends and families but it still needs to be within commuting distance of Birmingham, where my job is. So we'll see where we end up!

I have managed to read some fantastic books this month that I know you'll enjoy too. The rest of 2023 appears to be full of amazing sounding book releases and I can't wait to get to the ones that interest me the most! What have you recently read? Let me know! In the meantime, here are five recommendations for you to devour over the summer.

Until next time,

-Love, Alex x

FICTION: Yellowface by R. F. Kuang.

Athena Liu and June Hayward were close friends throughout their Yale days and their debut novels released at the same time. While Athena went on to literary stardom, June's book floundered and her writing faded into obscurity. So when Athena dies, June decides to rewrite and publish the recently finished manuscript about the Chinese labourers' role in World War One that Athena was working on. Why would it matter that the idea wasn't hers when she was the one who edited it and her publisher and agent are the ones who have rebranded her as the ethnically ambiguous Juniper Song? Athena would have wanted this story told and all she's doing is honouring her wishes, right? Everyone is reading and talking about Yellowface right now and I can certainly say that it is a very intense and frustrating read. At its core, it is an exposé on diversity or lack of it in publishing and a reflection on our society through a unique, thoroughly unhinged narrative voice. It is highly gripping and very thought-provoking, so you'll want to set some time aside to get stuck in and absorb its lessons.

NON-FICTION: Quietly Hostile by Samantha Irby.

Samantha Irby's writing career has taken her to new heights, as she now takes calls from Hollywood and writes for a string of successful TV shows. But behind all the glamour, she is actually still trying to just survive. These funny, open essays detail the parts of Samantha's life that might not make it into her new life full of fame and fortune. The essays talk about bodily functions, getting older, family issues, Sex and the City and sex in an honest, refreshing manner. They can be quite graphic at times, so Irby's style is perhaps not for everyone but she is certainly a witty, snarky voice that is not afraid to shy away from the truth.

MIDDLE-GRADE: The Stories Grandma Forgot (and How I Found Them) by Nadine Aisha Jassat.

Nyla's dad died years ago but her grandma thinks she saw him recently in the supermarket. Nyla knows that this is probably just her grandma 'time-travelling' again, which is what happens when Grandma forgets things. However, Grandma is determined for Nyla to find her dad and bring him home and Nyla becomes determined to do exactly that, uncovering secrets along the way. The Stories Grandma Forgot is an emotional tale about dementia and the tragedy it can bring to a whole family. There is a really heartwarming ending that celebrates found families and the unearthing of forgotten love. It also highlights the role that libraries and the stories within them can play in a young child's life and the importance of keeping them alive. It also touches on the evil of racism and digs into how it affects victims of racial prejudice. There is so much in this powerful, poetic little story that I think everyone will get something a little different out of it.

YA: Imogen, Obviously by Becky Albertalli.

Imogen is straight but she is a fantastic ally to the LGBTQ+ community of which her sister and both of her best friends belong to. Imogen goes along to the Pride Alliance meetings and keeps up with issues affecting queer people, so that she can be the support that her friends need her to be. So, when she visits Lili at college and meets Lili's new queer friends, Imogen fits right in. However, Lili's new friends think that Imogen is bisexual because Lili pretended that she and Imogen used to date. So no one knows that Imogen is definitely straight. She knows she is, so why does the beautiful, fascinating Tessa seem so intriguing? Imogen, Obviously a really cute story about discovering your sexuality may not be what you thought it was and the struggles that come with that. The romance is adorable and it felt so authentic and pure. It also explores toxic friendships and attitudes within the LGBTQ+ community, which is something that I'm not sure many YA queer books do. So, it definitely felt like an important, multi-layered, real story.

THRILLER: The Last Word by Taylor Adams.

Emma has escaped to a remote house on the Washington coast with her golden retriever, Laika. She is house-sitting for a woman named Jules and the only neighbour appears to be an old guy called Deek. Emma fills her days by devouring Kindle Unlimited novels and reviewing them online. When she gives a one star review to a particularly bad horror novel by an author named H. G. Kane, she never expected to receive a heated reply from the author himself. Or to be the target for a relentless stalker with blood on his mind. This fast-paced and thoroughly gripping thriller had me hooked almost instantly. There are plenty of twists, an unexpected ending and loads of action with genuine fear for Laika's safety. Laika was definitely the only character I cared about but unlikeable characters are certainly best placed in high-stakes thrillers like this with their comeuppance just around the corner.

[mrbigbrother]

Why I refuse to play the remake of Resident Evil 4. PART 2 😒

Since the release of the Resident Evil 4 remake, it has done well critically and financially for Capcom. And despite my grievances, it will more than likely push the franchise even deeper into the era of the Remake we are trapped in. Again, it doesn't look like a bad game at all...but It's just not the same. This is not the game I grew up with. Nor is it a game that really takes the series anywhere new...I hate Remakes. I have come to hate them so much. And I have a pretty good reason why you should hate them too, as what I am about to say will hopefully breed just the slightest bit of resentment so you may feel just a hint of some of the same resentment that I have, and have carried for nearly 18 years.

So instead of a remake of RE4...why couldn't this game have been a direct sequel? Ya know...something that the fans have been asking about for over EIGHTEEN FUCKING YEARS!!! Was it so hard to ask for a new chapter to feature Leon as he was in RE4 (2005)? If final fantasy can make sequels to FF10, then why not give the same treatment to Resident Evil's finest hour? But no...they didn't do it then, they didn't do it then, they didn't do it 18 years later, and probably not even 18 years from now. So I guess a sequel to the greatest Resident Evil was just too much to ask for. Okay. Fine.

But I have another question worth asking,

why...hasn't Paul Mercier voiced Leon since the 05 game? Let me also add that I liked the younger depiction of Leon in the Resident Evil 2 remake, because it establishes that there would be a deal of maturity and age for Leon from the events of RE2 and 4. but it doesn't work in the remake...why may you ask? By that point, Leon is supposed to be an older and much wiser guy who has been highly trained to carry out these kinds of dangerous and highly delicate missions. So not only does this New Leon not sound like him with the VA change, he doesn't even feel like the same person because his physical design show little to none of the physical maturity he had leading up to the events of RE4. That's another popular thing that happens in remake culture: just random ass recasts for no reason that only upsets the fans and gets them talking about the game. Outrage is free marketing.

And I get it. Capcom had to learn from their mistakes before we were even able to get to this point in time. I get it. I can't just suddenly get what I want by just getting mad. Or sad...

There was a time, when Resident Evil 4 (2005) didn't need the year stamp to distinguish it from something else. There was a time when Resident Evil 4, was the most impressive and cutting edge survival horror game the world had ever seen. It was a masterpiece. It was a game that I played through so many times, that I don't think that there is one aspect about it, no easter egg or anything hidden that I didn't find. I have played that game so thoroughly, that I might have tried to play it blindfolded. I can say that, when it comes to gaming, RE4 represents something that other mediums couldn't possibly emulate. And boy did hollywood try so hard just to always fail even to this day. It captured everything that is great about gaming. RE4 is one of those games that reminds us of why we love video games...

RE4 (2023), has effectively robbed the original of its identity. Which means, instead of Hollywood emulating video games...video games are not emulating hollywood in its absolute worst era. Which means that right now, Video Games, could be in its own worst era. Why is it a bad thing? because remakes, do not deserve to piggyback off of the hard work of yesterday's artists. The path that was paved yesterday, must be walked on today, so we may continue to build the path forward. Remakes are part of the Nostalgia Limbo, that we are being forced into. Nobody really asks for remakes. People want something new. And when they don't get that or are dissatisfied with the new thing, they look back at the things that they loved before. And that part of us, is being exploited. We are no longer going forward, because the artists of yesterday are either dead or cancelled, and the artists of today don't know how to build paths forward, so they build towers going up! They build the towers higher, and higher, inch new feat making the whole thing more and more wobbly and unstable, until finally, the industry's tower of babylon can't stand up any more and topples to the ground.

Only then will people realize, that going up, isn't really going anywhere. Because as soon as they fall, they find themselves right back where they started, at ground level.

So...what made the original...THE Resident Evil 4, so special? Because it was one step forward for the Resident Evil series, and then one giant leap forward for all of gaming still felt today.

Think about that.

Now... let's try and move forward.

PS

AND WHERE ARE MY MOTHER FUCKING QUICK TIME EVENTS? RE4 WAS THE ONLY GAME THAT EVER DID THEM RIGHT!!!!

[purplekoop]

what??? how the hell is she not neutral AT BEST???

I genuinely don't know what they could've released that I missed or don't remember that contradicts her being very much NOT a good person. I haven't read the Hammond short story, but even if she's nice to Hammond specifically that doesn't change how she definitely isn't a good leader and definitely isn't a "good guy".

She's the "good guy" in her own story, and especially in her cinematic she's shown as an outright hero compared to the last ruler of Junker Town, but... that's how Overwatch frames all its characters, the hero of their own narrative. Like with the actual major antagonists Doomfist, Moira, and especially Ramattra, their whole shtick is that their ultimately "noble" ends justify the needlessly cruel and destructive means in their eyes. Sombra's another good example, she's unambiguously NOT a good guy or a good person, she's self-serving to her own interests and nobody else's, but she's still shown to care for Sigma and worry about Illari in some of the few interactions she ever sounds genuine in. That still doesn't make the blackmail, death threats, active murder, general terrorism, or anything else she's done okay at all, but it makes her a little more interesting as a character, doesn't it?

Especially in The Wastelander, her whole secret to victory is kind of just telling people what they want to hear to get them to do what she wants. I doubt her real intentions were anything more than getting revenge on the old king for her banishment and getting herself a life of luxury by usurping him, she just used the dissatisfaction of the other junkers as a weapon to do it. If the state of Junkertown is anything to go by, I doubt she's really done that much actual good in her reign (the "We have an education system" interaction is funny but also telling that she doesn't really care that much at all about her subjects), she's just a more compelling leader to rally behind. which like. a leader who hypes people up with speeches and screaming and empty promises without actually helping any of the serious issues they have the power to fix, I Don't Think That's a Good Guy!! That's one of the worst guys actually!!

I wouldn't personally read Junker Queen as "contradicting", she's... well, more just a hypocrite. Maybe she doesn't even care enough to realize she is, from her perspective things have been going just fine, which is probably what Mason thought too. I dunno, I think that blind spite leading to complacency that makes someone the very thing they sought to overthrow is at least a mildly compelling story for a character.

(I do also need to clarify that I've been dragging her through the mud a bit here but Junker Queen is like. my second favorite character in the cast only because I'm too stubborn to take Rein off the top spot after all this time. She's so cool and so funny and she's a blast to play and I'm gonna stop before I wildly pivot this post into something thoroughly unfit for a Sunday afternoon. This is also me acknowledging it is fine to both like a fictional character and also admit they are a murder-happy maniac and a bad leader. because they are a fictional character.)

(there's also another tangent here about how fanbases have a Baaaaaad habit of wanting to reduce characters to simply just Evil or Not Evil And Thus Free Of All Sin, but that's a topic for an excessively long Undertale/Deltarune post I've been sitting on for over a week now)

But yeah, I feel like I missed something or took a wildly different take from something, because I feel like Junker Queen is thoroughly Not meant to be a good guy, even if she's not a full-on supervillain either. I know I haven't been pondering over that corner of the universe as thoroughly as you have lately, but like. With all due respect this initial post feels like talking about a completely different character and it's been driving me very mildly insane for a minute. Feel free to clarify anything, or also just completely disagree, I'd genuinely just like to hear elaboration.

Personally

I think the Junker Queen would have been better off as a straight up villain

Your thoughts?

With my Junker and Junkertown rewrite I did play with the concept of JQ being a straight up villain, and I do think that would have been a good direction instead of what they went with. JQ currently is just a self contradicting character. They just needed to settle on neutral or evil instead of what they actually did with her.

Honestly before she was released she was very much set up to be a villain. We actively didn't know the full reason for Junkrats exile, we knew she over taxes her subjects and just in general makes Junkertown a harsher place to live. Then she became playable and well, they contradicted that. Made her this contradicting mess, she was a very good way to make Junkertown more interesting. Both looking at her as a neutral party and as a villain.

As a villain JQ would have given a lot of nuance to the Junkers, her continuing the cycle of tyranny Junkertown suffers through. The constant cycle of violence and segregation only being motivated by the want to put the Junkers through everything that she did in the wasteland. It would have been interesting and actually on brand with its inspirations but no, we just get what we have now.

[golf-irons]

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