#I know this will get easier but I hate this. this is so scary
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Guys you don't understand how much I love these two. (Oh yeah, and Finn's there too)
Glisten: Awww~ Shrimpo, you remembered Shrimpo: B*tch I'm in LOVE with you, of course I REMEMBERED! Glisten: What!? Wait really?? This is very sudden wow! (You said you were straight?) Shrimpo: AAAAAAAAAA
Finn: (yapping) Shrimpo and Glisten: SHUT THE F*CK UP, FINN!! Shrimpo and Glisten: ... Shrimpo and Glisten: (kissing)
The first comic takes place before the two started dating. Shrimpo is really really really bad at expressing emotions other than anger and frustration, so anytime he tries to express anything, he just blurts out his feelings without thinking. Then he gets second-hand embarrassment lol. Glisten was pretty aware that Shrimpo liked him before, but he's pretending to be surprised to make Shrimpo "feel better" (also to mildly embarrass him lol).
Also, I think that Shrimpo and Glisten bonding over hating Finn is very based and true. They need that autistic man to SHUT UP/silly
I think Shrimpo and Finn are very cousin coded. Not close enough to be siblings but definitely got some familial genes going on imo (plz don't shoot me Shrimpbowl shippers🙏🙏🙏) Doesn't stop Shrimpo from being violent towards Finn tho, and Finn does nothing to deter it lol (he finds it funny). Also, Glisten throws no punches bc he doesn't want to get his hands dirty.
Finn: Sooooo?? How was the daaaate~ Finn: No need to be such a clam about it! Shrimpo: I'M SO KILLING YOU!
The second image takes place the day after this post lol. Shrimpo is recovering from a hangover covered in lipstick kisses and super conflicting emotions and Finn is NOT helping.
On the other end, I've been thinking about Shimmer a lot lol. So here is a doodle of her with her "sister aunt" Toodles, and Pebbles.
They all get along super well. In this pic, Toodles is like 12ish and Shimmer is 4 (but her weird biology made her age up to like 7 here). Pebble is pebble, that's all you need to know.
Also, I was in a horror-ish mood earlier so here are some Twisteds <33 (below cut cuz kinda scary):
I love you angst comfort. My sib pointed out while playing one day that Shrimpo looked traumatized as a Twisted, which like, fair, but it make me think.
Glisten: "They say you are not here anymore. But I think you are."
I had this silly idea that Twisted Shrimpo was infected by Dandy personally, and that whole conflict got Shrimpo's lower jaw ripped off. He is very violent and volatile, and very hard to calm down. But, when he runs into a twisting Glisten alone and scared, he comforts him (to the best of his ability).
Since Glisten is still able to be somewhat conscious, he realizes that the Twisteds are actually not completely gone like he originally thought, and it helps him keep his sanity longer, hoping for a way out for everyone.
Willpower is a crazy thing.
On the complete opposite note, I love you horrifying freak of ichor child.
Since Shimmer was made from the ichor itself with no sort of skeleton or solid foundation, her condition is very unstable. And the problem is that her body is affected by her emotions. On a bad day, she can suffer from lots of pain and her body literally melting away. That's when she hides out and waits for her body to stabilize again.
When she completely twists, her body completely falls apart, becoming a puddle of ichor on the ground. If she was an encounterable twisted, she would work like Sprout's puddle root things, but easier to maneuver around and avoid. Also, her antenna glow.
Mini yap session aside, I think I cooked on the art lol.
Anyways, the og images lol:
Have a good one pookies!
#inside i have two wolves#one is obsessed with shipping and cutesy stuff#the other is obsessed with horror#dandy's world#dandy's world fanart#dandy's world oc#dandy's world ships#dandy's world glisten#dandy's world shrimpo#dandy's world finn#dandy's world pebble#dandy's world toodles#dandy's world roblox#shrimpo x glisten#glisten x shrimpo#roblox#glisten the mirror#shrimpo the shrimp#finn the fishbowl#toodles the eight ball#pebble#dw glisten#dw shrimpo#dw toodles#dw pebble#dw finn#doodles#horror#katiekatdragon27
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so i got like 150 cals too much today (shoulve been 300) bc i was travelling for like 6 hours and my day was PACKED.
had 2 eggs for breakfast and fried them in water which, lets be real, doesnt fucking work. visited my family and had a salad with cranberries, lenses, quinoa and a little bit of feta for lunch while spending some time with the reason i have an eating disorder (my mum) and drinking her beloved detox tea.
had a huge anxiety attack when i got home (note to self, dont drink coffee) and ate some of the food (broccoli and tortellini) my boyfriend made. i dont feel really bad about it bc i probably burned it off today anyways and will cut the amount of calories from tomorrow too. still stings a little thoooo. im proud of myself for just eating a little bit and not giving into the urge of shoving the whole pot down my troath🥰
anddd i told my boyfriend yesterday that i kind of relapsed and he was so understanding. i know hes worried but i also know he realized it before i told him, so its better to be honest right away ig. he promised not to force me to eat but im not sure how this will play out when it gets really bad again. it still feels right, at least i dont have to lie to him now.
my body is getting used to not eating as much i think, which makes it easier to get shit done. so thats great! but lets be fr, relapsing is so scary. especially when your logical side and your sick side are like two different people. bc there is a voice in my head that says "wtf are you doing to yourself". its just not loud enough.
if you hear that voice, try to listen. reach out, recover, get your life back. coming from me thats pathetic, i know, but i genuinely wouldnt wish this shit on my worst enemy and im so fucking sorry for everyone who has to live like this.
anyways, enough food for thought🥰
i had a glass of white wine with my friend. idk i just feel like drinking is such a waste of calories, i hate that a beer is 250-300. like??! but im not 16 anymore so theres no way im drinking vodka on an empty stomach😭
feeling: tipsy🤪
#3ating d1sorder#4anorexi4#4n@diary#4nor3xia#4norexla#ed but not ed sheeran#tw ana bløg#4nerex1a#4narex1a#4n0rexic#4n4blr#4n4rexia#tw 3d diet#3d not sheeran#tw 3d vent
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I wish there was something out there comforting people who’ve just had bad post-exertional malaise and now they’ve lost some function
#by which I mean. this is fucking depressing#maybe I’ll write it once I can look bad on this peacefully. right now I’m just stressed and sad and afraid#vent ->#I think I might not be able to work anymore. if I can then I’m on the edge#I hate this. I like working. I like being strong and walking fast#and now I can’t DO THAT#and ofc my brain spirals to the worst case scenario of ‘what if it gets so bad I can’t write anymore’#I know this will get easier but I hate this. this is so scary
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me, stupidly and weirdly resistant to listening to audio books vs reading a physical book for no real reason: man i wish there was a way to like, read a book while i crochet like i do with tv shows and movies and podcasts
#toy txt post#my reasons are irrational you dont need to try to talk me into it. i KNOW#its very silly of me#imagine how much reading i could get done. but alas. Feels Bad#even listening to a more. uh. Story type podcast or fiction like nightvale was a bit difficult to start for me. i like nightvale now i#listened. but i worry that is clocking in my brain as an Exception 😔 maybe it would be easier if i tried some nonfiction books? scary#i also struggle with single host podcasts apparently even tho im also ehhhh on the kind where the structure is the host Interviewing a#different person everytime? maybe it would be okay with a nonfiction audiobook tho cos it would be getting read by a narrator and not sound#so much like a guy ranting into a mic which makes me feel a little insane. altho propaganda doesnt necessarily always sound like a guy#ranting into a mic so idk. i could probably make it through if i can find a nice book about like. parasitic worms. i could tolerate#feeling like im falling into sigma male affirmations videos for worms i think. wormffirmations are allowed#*to clarify i dont listen to those but listening to better offline makes me feel like im morphing into the kinda guy who does and i hate it#which feels unfair cos he is RIGHT and the podcast is good but i need there to be like a cohost there to break the tension of the Ranting#sometimes he has guests on? but its not quite the same#i think the format i like best is either like 2 or 3 regular cohosts discussing things within a specific topic#OR. 1 host whos like infodumping to the other host who knows nothing about the subject. OR. 2 hosts info dumping to each other about#different aspects of the subject. OR. 1 host who brings on fun guests to infodump to them about a subject. and then obviously the subject#needs to intrigue me. ex. sawbones well theres your problem (I HATE THAT THIS ONE IS BEST EXPERIENCED ON YOUTUBE😭 I WANT THEM TO JUST DUMP#ALL THE SLIDES INTO A BIG BLOG POST SOMEWHERE AND I CAN CHECK IN AND FOLLOW ALONG THAT WAY WITHOUT HAVING TO HAVE MY PHONE SCREEN ON THE#WHOLE TIME!!!!!!!!! but. im listening for free so its unreasonable to demand more of them BUT ALSO I FEEL LIKE JUST COPYPASTING ALL OF THE#SLIDES INTO A BIG BLOG POST ISNT THAT MUCH MORE EFFORT THAN EDITING A WHOLE YOUTUBE VIDEO? WAAAAAH. THEY DONT NEED TO BE TIMESTAMPED OR#ANYTHING JUST THROW EM IN ILL FIGURE IT OUTTTTTT#anyway. also more than 3 hosts is really pushing my ability to keep track of voices.#anyway: sawbones wtyp tpwky behind the bastards scam goddess#(which is true crime adjacent but focuses mainly on scams and isnt copaganda and laci is funny and cool)#common descent pod completely arbortrary maintenance phase if books could kill#deep sea podcast has more bringing ppl in to interview them about shit than i personally enjoy but i put up with it cos i do like the hosts#and the subject
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Having a friend with mental health issues is actually terrible, because you have a normal, everyday conversation, and then they make a self-depricating joke or a joke about suicide. And they laugh, and you should laugh too, you know about coping with humor, but you can’t because you worry too much. You know them from a long time, and you remember the highs and you remember the lows, and your stomach gets tangled into a knot. You should laugh, but it’s too late, the mood is ruined now, they stop smiling and you hate yourself for making things awkward. So force a smile, but it’s fake, and they know you too much, and you actually just made the whole situation worse, and you hate yourself. You wish you could lie better or care less or just be different but this is how you are, and you had loved ones before struggling with this shit, and you are worried, and you don’t know how to give them what they need. You don’t even know what they need, you never understood people, and you want to, but it’s like there is a glass wall separating you. And you’re scared that you’re gonna let them down, and you try harder. It’s like walking on eggshells, but you don’t actually see the eggshells and you aren’t even sure there are any eggshells at all, because you’re overthink everything and this was supposed to be a normal conversation. You can’t have a normal conversation, because you overthink. So you try to be better, and next time you laugh, but still aren’t sure, if this is what they need, and your stomach is in a knot.
#mental health#tw depression#mental heath issues#i don’t want to be self centered#i know they have it worse than me#it’s just so scary#and i hate that i have to play this role again and again#i dont want them to be unhappy#i don’t want to see any more suicidal thoughts from them#did any of you had to talk somebody out of suicide?#i had to and it never gets easier#sorry for the vent#i will probably delete this later
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#talking time! i have had Such a week#i dont wanna get too deep into it rn but man the shit has just not stopped happening.#been oscillating wildly between almost literally paralyzing panic/dread and totally normal feeling fine???#i didn't actually know that if im anxious enough i start having to do everything at about 25% speed but now i do and its kinda wild#but im fine. but also out of nowhere i need to sit down and put my feet up and be left alone. but im very functional actually#id like it to stop now please i think im gonna get dizzy#but now i have to think of something to do about the situation. and the solutions are. well#1. i feel like it would be easier for them n i owe them that but god i dont want to and for some reason they dont seem to want me to either#2. untenable i dont think it would be a good idea might actually be harmful but its whatll happen if i do nothing#or 3. possibly a good solution but so scary and so so so fuckupable and also involves asking a favor which i absolutely hate doing :/#im just so. im so? world upside down and i think i might be having actual ptsd about it. crazy times. now i have to go eat i haven't yet#complaining (tm)#delete later#maybe
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looking at the scar on my arm everyday feels like a reminder im never going to be ok, im never going to be human i ruined it after all the years i held myself back i finally severed the line i had at any chance of one day belonging
#ill never be able to roll up my sleeve i have to be extra on guard 24/7 i just make everything worse n worse n worse#i feel grosser everyday#i am more consumed by rot everyday#there will be nothing left#i cant sleep im just stuck laying here and Thinking#i feel like im filled with sticky gravel and nothing else#i am so deeply unclean no matter what i do ill never be clean#i will never have a place#i will never be safe#i can only hide i will never be able to exist like i yearn to#i wonder if i ever did have a chance#i never could even as a kid#even as a toddler i was always scared i was always miserable#i dont think i was meant 2 live#i keep thinking i can but its too much#im too tired#its too scary its too much energy#i dont know how#even if i got the job from that email id just get worse id just feel worse#i cant exist socially i dont know how#id just be a boring mute mess everyone hates and id feel awful n get worse like i always have#how i always end up isolating instead because i dont know how to exist#i dont know how to be a person#and it feels awful#it hurts#i have always just told myself if only i can get thin enough maybe ill be easier to deal with as a cope#maybe ill take up less space n be less of an annoyance to everyone#if i have nothing to offer maybe i can just. vanish#maybe people would like me#maybe i could belong
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#cops tw#bro I cannot handle one more thing happening istg#got pulled over on my way home after a 13 hour day#was already scared to drive at night and that just confirmed that I’m right to be scared#it was for running a red light n it was one of those situations of just not having time to stop on yellow#I was fully aware as it was happening that I was either going to slam on my brakes in the intersection or run a red and I could see the cop#so I knew I was getting pulled over either way I just hoped the yellow would be longer than .5 seconds. not so lucky#except I also Am so lucky bc he let me off with a warning#ig bc I don’t have any sort of serious history + with it being 420 once he saw I was sober he prob went easier#it’s the second time I’ve been pulled over in my life tho and it’s scary bc this is the first time since the accident#which maybe that was also ok bc it wasn’t my fault#I just know every warning or unlucky moment costs u more in the future if u happen to get unlucky again#like I know I got out of that bc I’m white. it was still a scary moment bc there were multiple cop cars#so it’s like is this guy abt to ruin my life am I gonna lose my license for being at the wrong place wrong time#when I’m already salty to be driving this late involuntarily#so it’s like I got unlucky And very very lucky#I just hate the confirmation that u can get pulled over at any given moment#I constantly rehearse every possible convo w cops in my head bc if u come off disabled u can die#or get arrested or whatever#and then they like don’t follow the script and u didn’t expect this to happen to u today anyway and I get flustered#anyway my point is. I’m fucking exhausted and too many things keep happening#it’s long day after long day w no end in sight rn and I’m like half asleep every day#I just want to sleep. without feeling like I’m already tired tomorrow#it’s too much. just all of it#and on top of it all. it’s 420 so the whole dorm building is basically a cloud of weed#happy u guys are having fun but u are physically harming me in my home#mine#txt#vent post#personal
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#if i don't get this out of my system i may explode lmao#but man the fact that im not a uni student anymore is getting more and more real with each passing day n the fact that i have to start#searching for a job is getting more and more real each day and it's giving such huge amount of anxiety bcs im scared abt what's to come#i'm terrified of getting a job i hate. i'm terrified of losing my life in something that drains me. i'm terrified of getting stuch where#i am. of seeing my life pass and not accomplishing what i want. of everything i've dreamed of stays as that. a dream.#i'm terrified of being stuck in this country. in this city. bcs all i wanna do is leave but i dont have the means to do it!!!!!!#i dont have the money. my mom doesn't have the money and im scared. terrified of dedicating my life to working for it to be all pointless#i wanna travel n i wanna leave n i wanna land a job that i like!!!!!!!!!!!!#i don't think i'm fit for capitalism bcs routine bores me. bcs i don't want to lose my life in a job i hate#but then again i don't rlly have a dream job. i have smth i want to do but it doesn't rlly allign with my degree#and i'm scared!!!! of not being able to accomplish it!!!!!!!!! i'm so terrified of never doing what i want!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#i'm terrified of staying here bcs it's easier and less scary. i don't want to live a life of it is what it is!!!!!!!!#but everything at this point overwhelms me and idk where to start!!!!!!! idk what to do!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and i feel so silly by#asking other ppl bcs they don't have the answer n i hate it. bcs i need an answer i need to know im gonna be okay#life is unexpected n that alone makes me dread it. bcs i don't have full control of what's to come#sure i can do things to get me where i want to be but it's not 100% guaranteed it will happen the way i want it to#like. i dropped out of a major i thought i wanted n loved. i got a degree in smth that isn#isn't rlly a passion of mine#i dread the unexpected. i dread not having full control. i dread not knowing stuff#i dread things going out of plan n sure i do have a life plan#but i'm terrified of it just being a life plan#peace n love on planet earth#jo.txt
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me staring at spider fangs for 10 minutes (im researching how they work so i can draw a fictional character more realistically):
#i swear to god if I didnt start liking miguel i wouldnt be here#i blame him. i fucking blame him fully i hate him but also not really#unrelated but spider fangs are fucking gnarly man#like in a good way kind of but also ew ew ew ew ew#like theyre skinnier than i thought and are really curved. theyre completely black#like theyre needlelike so they can get to their prey easier thats fucking awesome but also oh my god what the fuck#moral of the story is face your fears by developing a special interest in a franchise SPEFICALLY AROUND one of your biggest fears#and just look those fuckers up and just stare at them. just fucking stare. make eye contact. the spider doesnt know theyre just chillin.#and yknow what spiders are kinda cute in like.. an ugly and scary way..?#ramblings#miguel.
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hopping around different blogs is fun.
a post on blog 1: i find it a little weird that -- don't get me wrong, the barbie movie looks great with all the doll-like details, i bet the actors had great fun and i'd like to see it myself, but -- people are getting excited about marketing of this movie. they're acting as though mattel's 3985* deals with 837* different companies are something new, exciting and creative instead of... 3985 deals with 837 companies spanning many different areas! this movie is a commercial for a doll! isn't this kinda weird?
*numbers made up
a post on blog 2: i don't think any sane adult doesn't realize that this is a toy commercial! it's rather obvious.
a post on blog 3: boo hoo 'the barbie movie is capitalist propaganda' i don't give a SHIT marx won't fuck you. did you do this for transformers too? do you think only stupid girls who like pink need the reminder?
like, oooooh! things are happening!
#shrimp thoughts#earlier today i got into a bit of an essay reading spree (as much as my brain allowed me lol)#and it got me thinking about like... associating oneself with products/aesthetics/companies as a way of self-creation#this is me. i love [fashion brand] you won't catch me without my k*nken and here is my room in which you can see posters of [movies]#it's very... human to get excited about things and feel it more the more others get excited because. community building#at the same time i've noticed it myself that it's so much easier to label yourself a [thing] girl than to like... Look Into Yourself#who am i? what defines me? these questions are difficult because how do i know that? with what means do i obtain this knowledge?#should i create myself as i want or should i observe myself with the eyes of others instead? ...let me just say i like plants and overalls#and i feel like when someone says something you perceive as a critique of the identity slash community you associate yourself with#it's... hurtful? but at the same time. hm. i don't know actually#like chances are these posts are talking about completely different things and not vaguing each other or even similar posts#maybe posts that blog 3 vagues really were obnoxiously condescending! who knows! that being said DESPITE being a small-brained#shrimp who would honestly love to win soooo many moneys and just do whatever i want all day instead of being an Independant and Competent#Expert In My Field (this sounds scary and stressing). i still would like to avoid falling into the 'just let me ENJOY things and don't try#to make me hate femininity because it's not working! pink and shopping can be empowering' hole.#idk!! i listen to k/pop and am part magpie. i can't quite pose myself as like anti-capitalist intellectual#but i do want to achieve at least a small brain! someday!! and boy do i hope my brain energy days don't end before the books arrive;;#2am thoughts. wonder if my mother goes to sleep earlier than at 4am today because its getting annoying
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wow haha you* think this large area of land is uninhabitable and empty ? wow thats so funny that sounds so much like this fucked up terra nullius thing but surely you arent all mindlessly peddling that colonial narrative of australian land as uninhabited and therefore free for the taking, right ? that would be silly.
and its not like there's a common law doctrine that was only legally discredited in the last 30 years that literally refers to "desert and uncultivated" land as a justification for taking land that is inhabited but is deemed to not have "settled" inhabitants or "settled law" according to colonial standards, right ?
because if there was then it would obviously be super fucking racist to continue to legitimise and perpetuate the erasure of indigenous presence by reaffirming the conception of large swathes of land as desert and uncultivated empty and uninhabitable.
and obviously it would be not only racist but factually incorrect to identify an area as "uninhabitable" purely on the basis that that it was deemed less compatible with colonialist + capitalist agricultural and settler projects and practices, (putting aside the fact that nonnegligible areas are, in fact, settled and used as such) because that would not only continue the erasure of a diverse array of indigenous ways of life, but would also continue to give legitimacy to the idea that presence on land must be identifiable by colonial signifiers thereof, otherwise it is not real and does not count. so obviously you would not do that, yeah ? good talk <3
*"you" as in the ppl in screenshots/ppl who are saying this shit, not op. Just to clarify.
#also like im sorry. animals can and will be dangerous fucking anywhere. one time i saw a chipmunk eating another chipmunks leg.#u can get fucking rabies in. like. so many places. u know where u cant get it ? australia.#i can get got by a feral raccoon outside the dumpsters in a well populated area any day of the week. i can also get hit by a car.#tbf u can do that in a lot of places but my point stands. no one has died in aus from a spider since 1979. meanwhile fatal car accidents...#...in all of australia per year are barely double those in the state of Massachusetts alone#ppl in the us are getting worked up worrying over snakes 10000 miles away when they should be worried about bmw drivers from boston.#the animal in australia most likely to kill you is a horse.#wow its almost like dying is a part of the human condition but what is and isnt fearmongered about is predicated on whether it can be.....#....associated with 'civilisation' (RACIST) and 'savage untamable wilderness' (RACIST)#car accident vs kangaroo accident. chipmunk with rabies vs dingo. straight up getting shot vs big spider (~~oooh scary ~~)#an uncle of mine got attacked by an emu once but thats because he was fucking. farming the damn things. and also not a smart man.#um. fucking also. the australian desert is fucking gorgeous. it has incredible flora and fauna and the way it looks is literally so distinc#and gorgeous and ur all a bunch of fucking losers if u distill it down to 'empty barren landscape' and uhhh i literally hate u for it also.#um anyway sorry for rant. i am procrastinating on an essay. again.#i also know. way way less abt various aboriginal cultures and historical perspectives and political issues than i would like to so pls if..#...anyone has any recommendations lmk :) im much more well versed in north america and the US for legal stuff#and the hardest part is always getting started w a basis of knowledge with which u can judge the legitimacy + biases of other resources#once u do that it gets easier lol#i am procrastinating again ok whoops#sorry op for the long spiel in ur notes. i am very sleep deprived. u understand.#indigenous#undescribed#ceci says stuff
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teehee
#im making a pvz fangame too you know that?#you being whoever's reading these for some reason#its so so so so much work and i havent touched it in months#i love making it and i hate it#kevin perjurer quote#i need to write dialogue for marin to say to link on the beach#i went to do this in september and thought to myself#ill know what to write after i have my 2 year anniversary with my partner#i dont know what to write#i felt even on that night as though i was dreaming even when im awake#i dont think im disassociating because that sounds scary and denial + making more art sounds easier#i need to write until i cant think of anything else to say#so i can go to sleep#if anyone i know is reading this#what's up#ive been thinking about panic's sectonia resurrection au#probably gonna make a song about jt#dont tell her#maybe even two#'miracle' would be cutscene style about joronia being alive and taranza being in disbelief#and 'au' would be based on toby fox's lost girl and be a heart to heart about how they both feel distant from each other#that means i need to make it tomorrow#i think i want 'ship' to be about ado and ribbon#and i want 'duel/rival' to be a boss theme for bandee#don't tell anyone#im really excited to see how people react to that kne#jm probably close to 30 tags so ill go now i think#never really vent posted before so its great that i get to immortalize my stupid thoughts on the internet forever#if you want to play survival minecraft with me dm me#okay bye
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Idk I just have no patience for trans men/masculine people who refuse to acknowledge transmisogyny. Like. The worst experience I ever had with transphobia was when I was mistaken for a trans women. In a culinary program, I was cutting bell peppers, and one of the other students, a really big dude in a student leadership position, walks in and accusatory goes "so are you trying to be a woman, or something?" And I'm like. Well I'm trying to small dice these peppers. And I tell him I'm not a she and he says something to the effect of "Yeah I know that much." He makes some comment abt how whatever I'm doing doesn't make sense and he doesn't get it and when I tell him he doesn't have to, that he just has to respect it, he says "I don't have to do shit!" And gets real mad! Like actual threats mad! Tells me he could bash my skull in and to meet him outside for a fight and yeah it was fucking scary! The entire interaction I'm reminding myself that I'm the one currently holding a knife, if he tries anything.
Fast forward a few days later and my period is kicking my ass. Just absolutely destroying me. I'm in the dish pit, and I am visibly struggling, I'm nauseous, I'm in pain and bracing myself against walls. I'm not walking straight. And the same student leadership guy who was so aggressive with me when he thought I was transfem?
He tells me I look like I'm going to pass out. He says it's obvious I'm in pain, I shouldn't be in class, I can go sit down and if nobody can replace me he'll do the dishes himself.
Like. Do you get it yet. It's not just that he felt comfortable openly threatening me in a room full of other people when he thought I was a trans woman. It's that he did a complete 180 and was not only willing to support me, but actually pick up my slack once he knew I wasn't "that kind" of transgender. As soon as one of our classmates confirmed to him that I wasn't the wrong type of trans person I suddenly became someone who actually deserved care and compassion in his eyes. The "bigots think we're all the same and hate all of is equally" rhetoric isn't fucking true. It's just peddled to deny the privilege we have over other members of our community so it's easier to ignore how inhospitable supposedly trans-centric spaces are for TMA people.
#transmisogyny#everyone says solidarity but actual solidarity requires acknowledging intercommunity issues. A lot of you would rather die it seems
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When I love a song, I’ll love it forever
#random post#smth i thought about earlier. yknow. I have a hard time picking favorites with literally everything#I also have what I SAY is a favorite of mine. but I have a hard time really pinpointing whats number 1 in my brain#like. I love lots of things. I like different aesthetics and clothing and art mediums and movies and shows and books and music and people#but it’s difficult trying to find the favorite. some things are easier cus there’s more that I DONT like so it kinda singles out an option#like with music. I love LOTS of music. but what does it mean when smth is a favorite? I don’t have a favorite genre cus I have songs I love#from all over. even ones I haven’t heard yet. music overall is one of my favorite things. I’m not joking when I say it’s a love language#I love the melodies and beats and rhythms and lyrics and voices. always and forever will have a place in my heart and mind#I hate questions that want to know favorites. isn’t it enough to just show you instead? to share everything with you? why do you need one#single thing to know exactly who I am? wouldn’t you get me better if you spent a day with me instead?#I can’t remember everything of importance to me. not all in one single moment. if I went through my playlists and told you what songs I love#and why. what books I love and why. what anything I love and why. you’d find that I’m a bit undefined. I’m an artist and a creator. strong#yet weak imagination. sometimes think better in the abstract and other times do better with what’s set in stone#I love sharing things with people. I wish people would engage more with what I share sometimes. but I never hold it against em or hate them#if they don’t haha. often I feel down when ppl don’t engage with what I share. I know people aren’t obligated to do things but. yknow. it’s#my heart in a platter. splayed our for everyone. bits of me I want to share. what I want people to see. I’ve sat down with people to share#music I like. one friend said a song I like was scary. some people make faces at what I play. some have paid it no mind at all. they don’t#even know how important to me sharing something like that is. hell. how important me sharing ANYTHING is. it’s so easy to hide away#everything about myself. yet here I am trying my hardest to open myself up. yea. wish I was able to connect with someone like that#in person I mean. I guess. I just want to lay down with someone and play music we love. explain why we love it. or try to understand why#idk I’m getting rambly. I just want to do new things forever. and relive the first time everytime#this isn’t a vent or anything. just thinking and writing as I do. typing helps me to keep my mind on track. a bit at least. as much as one#with a brain like mine can havagahhaga. I wonder if anyone actually reads through my tag rambles in their entirety. I know it looks daunting#so I don’t blame you if you can’t or don’t feel like it. it won’t kill me if my words are lost in the void#haha anyways yea :> thinking lots
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How about a kook!reader being terrified of storms even though they live in hurricane central. So, in fear, she cuddles up to JJ tightly, and things get a little heated after a while...? Idk I hope that makes sense!
~🩰~🩷~🩰~🩷~🩰~🩷~🩰~🩷~🩰~🩷~🩰~🩷~🩰~🩷~🩰~
you’ve always hated storms- loud, unpredictable, violent and most of all you hated the darkness that painted the sky as they occurred, you couldn’t think of anything worse
it was easier to manage back in figure 8, you could cuddle up in the comfort of your home and know you would be fine when you wake up, falling fast asleep before the storm hit its peak
things were much different in the cut, the storms were a genuine risk yet the people put on a brave face and continued working fearlessly right until the storm started causing you to keep to yourself about your silly fear
the sound of the pogues laughing and chuckling were only a faint noise in your ears, the overarching sound of the tree branches clashing against the windows filled your ears - increasing your fear at each passing moment
“you k’ay” jj murmured in the side of your ear- subtly raking his fingers through the ends of your hair, the troublemaker blonde was underneath you leaving you placed in the middle of his lap
“m’fine… just tired, wanna call it a night” you reply, waiting for this hell,horror of a night to be over as soon as possible- sinking further into his warmth
murmurs of ‘goodnight’ and ‘byes’ were said as everyone went into their own personal spaces in the chateau, leaving you and jj on the pullout sofa
your head lays buried in the crook of the blondes neck as his hand loosely runs up and down your body giving some warmth- you can’t help but clutch onto the midst of his shirt tightly as the sound of the raging storm increases
“what’s wrong sweetcheeks?”he queries breaking your thoughts from the ongoing commotion outside
“jus’ the storm, its so loud and scary… don’t wanna hear it anymore”
“can’t get you from in here gorgeous” he replies carefully treading through the lengths of your hair,placing soft kisses to the tops of your head, soothing you down and just as your eyes feel like their about to shut
BAM!
a soft whimper leaves your mouth as you jolt against the blonde, clutching into the his shirt again- leaving you just muttering a string of apologies
“you need a distraction missy”
his hands trail down your torso to the waistband of your shorts, slowly playing with the hem as his fingers graze the skin that lays beneath them
“jay we can’t..they’ll hear” you whisper, anticipating his next move - a damp spot already forming in your panties
“then keep quiet”
the storm was long forgotten as he worked the length of his fingers knuckle deep inside of you- your own moans overshadowing the clashing of the trees outside
~🩰~🩷~🩰~🩷~🩰~🩷~🩰~🩷~🩰~🩷~🩰~🩷~🩰~🩷~🩰~
#jj maybank#obx#outer banks#rafe cameron#jj maybank prompt#jj maybank x reader#anon ask#jj maybank drabble#jj maybank imagine#obx drabble
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