#i felt even on that night as though i was dreaming even when im awake
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nbclover · 25 days ago
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teehee
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gay-dorito-dust · 3 months ago
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After request the kiss on the cheek and gotmany likes, its too joyful for me. Im craving angst
Stans brothers reaction when Bill told them that y/n will and always died in every universe and dimensions like stuck forever as zombie/wood statue/etc, which y/n will die in their own dimension too in matter of time or months, time is ticking, they can’t change destiny (can they?)
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Ford
Didn’t like those odds at all.
He and bill had history and who’s to say that this wasn’t just Bill trying another method to get inside his head once more by using you, his beloved, as a cheap tactic to do so.
‘I thought a being would have more tact than this Bill.’ Ford would say as the dream demon only chuckled.
‘Oh Stanford, do you really think I’d bluff about this? You should know me better by now that I do not bluff, I’ll show you instead seeing as how stubborn you are into believing me nowadays.’ Bill said as he then showed Ford of all the infinite ways you died throughout the multiverse:
Drowned
Stabbed
Possessed
Lost in the multiverse
Body snatched
Turned to stone
Went through a curse doorway unknowingly and never returned, etc, etc.
Bill took immense pleasure in the horrified look upon Ford’s face as he gingerly traced your face as though you turned into porcelain and not stone.
‘Sucks doesn’t it knowing they your loved one is bound to die in every single timeline, it’s enough to suck the joy out of everything.’ Bill said as Ford only glares at him. You don’t deserve these fates, none of your alternate selves did and he could only imagine what you could’ve possibly felt before dying alone.
‘Oh and your beloved y/n is on route to die in like five months.’ Bill casually mentions and Ford immediately looks to him again.
‘What do you mean by that? How do they die! How can I stop it!’ Ford exclaimed as he felt his heart race and his blood run cold at the sheer helplessness he felt in the moment, but it only proved to humour bill all the more. ‘Oh you can’t prevent this one Stanford Pines, they’ll die regardless of what you do to try and prevent it they’ll die regardless and you’ll have to live with it.’ Bill says before leaving Ford alone with his rampaging thoughts.
He could send you away to Dimension 52 to stay with Jheselbraum for the time being, just until he figured something out, but what if Bill foresees this move being made and goes after you himself? Ford didn’t know what he could do to protect you and it was driving him mad with Bill’s vague nonsense not helping him in the slightest. He’ll become paranoid of every little thing you did from that point onward to the point that even if you got a paper cut Ford was expecting something unfortunate to happen, but it never did.
Shit like this kept him awake at night as he holds you tightly against his chest, staring at the ceiling as though daring it to try and take you from him, which it didn’t but Ford grew skeptical of everyone you came across in case they were the catalyst for your death and kept himself near you at all times, hand on his gun in the instance he need to use it to keep you safe.
Ford would busy himself down in his lab to the point of exhaustion looking and theorising methods on how he could prevent your death, so much so that you’d have to come down and practically dragging him out because he was worrying you and the rest of the family. But Ford was stubborn as stubborn could be when it came to you and your safety that he tends to drown out your concerns for him, much to your dismay.
Ford believed that Bill was tempting him into making a deal to keep you safe but he knew that even as powerful as Bill was, even he couldn’t prevent something that he himself and told him happened across the entirety of the Multiverse. So Ford stuck to his guns and buried himself in work to keep you safe because he couldn’t and wouldn’t loose you if he could help it.
Stan
Doesn’t believe a thing Bill is saying in the slightest and thinks it’s all a pile of horseshit, up until the triangle demon shows him of all the infinite universes of which you did indeed die did Stan actually start to believe that Bill was actually telling the truth for once.
Zombies made you one of them.
Got turned to stone by a gorgon like creature and wasn’t saved in time.
Possessed by bill and had multiple stab wounds, bruises, scratches and lacerations from his misuse.
Submerged in amber/tree sap, face permanently stuck in horror.
Eaten by the Summerween Trickster.
Replaced by the shapeshifter after you were killed for being the imposter.
So many timelines where you’ve died cruelly or unfairly and it broke Stan’s heart knowing that in all of these universes his other selves might’ve been either too late, or made the wrong choices that he probably regrets as he downs each and every bottle of the hardest liquor in hopes he’d numb the pain.
He was destined to loose you no matter what and things weren’t made any better when Bill tells him that you were on route to die really soon, taunting him with the fact that there was nothing he, Ford or even the Pine Twins and their stupid pet pig could do to stop it; you’re death was an inevitability across the entire multiverse.
Stan hated being told that there was nothing he could do to prevent you from dying, he hated being told what he can’t do in general! So he’ll much rather take his odds with trying any and everything in his power to keep you safe and sound, even if it means dying himself he’ll do it gladly knowing you were okay.
He was already protective of you to begin with but with the added fact that you were bound to die sooner or later had Stan become even more protective of you. So much so that he doesn’t leave the shack without a crossbow or even his brass knuckles to fight off whoever or whatever was going to try and take you from him; hell he might even teach you how to fight should you get into trouble and he’s not there to protect you.
He keeps you by his side almost 24/7 at this point and would shower you in affection as though he was going to run out of time to do so, even going so far as to keep you away from walking under any ladders, tripping over anything and or crossing the street when you shouldn’t. However it got concerning to the point where you’d have to sit him down and ask what was wrong. Stan isn’t one to talk about his emotions nor how he felt about certain things but this was something he knew he had to share with you sooner or later, regardless of whether you believed him or not.
Stan still thought Bill was full of shit and even acted like he didn’t believe him about you dying and everything, but deep down Stan was scared that his best attempts to keep you safe wouldn’t be enough and that you’ll be taken away, regardless of how hard he fought back but Stan wasn’t one to easily give up not when his loved ones are involved.
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yaniiiiism · 2 months ago
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hold my hand. -k.sm 💌
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❀┆pairing : kim seungmin x fem!reader ͏ ❀┆ info : oneshot / twoshot ?? , a lot of fluff , and a lot of 'apparent' unrequited love (im sorry) , happy ending , cutesy , uni love , feelings and angst , short ! ❀┆ personas + bg : uni students ; dormmates w benefits ❀┆ word count : ❀┆warnings : cute and dread but dw happy ending yall notes at the end !!
✿    ( ˶ᵔ ᵔ) ♡    ˚    ☒
happy seungmo day !
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♥︎ ! now, we share the same dream called, 'us'.
The night was thick with the kind of silence that made every little sound feel magnified. The rustling of her sheets, the faint crack of his breathing, even the soft creaks of the bed beneath her felt louder than the thoughts swirling around in her restless head.
She turned over again for what felt like the hundredth time, face buried in her pillow as she tried to will herself to fall asleep. 
But her mind was wide awake, racing in that frustrating way it did sometimes, hopping from one thought to the next with no intention of slowing down. The warmth from the body beside her, instead of comforting you into rest, only added to your awareness. 
He lay still, his back rising and falling gently in rhythm. His arm, usually flung over her waist, had fallen away sometime in the night, giving her space, but her squirming was testing the limits of even his patience.
A loud sigh slipped out, unintentional but filled with the kind of frustration she only felt when she’s tired, and can't do anything about it.
She felt movement before she heard him, the mattress dipping slightly as he shifted beside her. “Y/n,” he mumbled, his voice low and hoarse, dripping with sleep. "What are you doing?"
Startled, she froze. She hadn't meant to wake him. 
He really didn’t wake easily, so the fact that he was up meant she’d been tossing and turning for a while.
"Sorry," she muttered, feeling a wave of guilt wash over her as she turned on her side to face him. The dim light filtering through the window barely illuminated his face, but she could make out the mess of his hair and the way his eyes, barely open, squinted in her direction.
"Seriously," he continued, rubbing his hand over his face before letting it drop lazily on his bare chest, his voice thick with sleep. "Why are you moving so much?"
She shifted uncomfortably under his gaze, biting her lip. "I can't sleep," she admitted quietly. 
It was a stupid response, one that obviously didn’t explain why she was writhing like a fish out of water, but it was the truth. She just couldn’t sleep.
He blinked at her, clearly processing her words through his sleepy haze. 
Then, to her surprise, he shifted closer to her. His arm reached out, wrapping lazily around her waist, over the thin, black camisole she wore, as he tugged her towards him, pulling her into the familiar space against his chest.
"Then just stop moving," he murmured, his voice muffled by her hair as his lips brushed against the top of her head. 
He wasn’t fully awake, that was clear. 
This was Seungmin in his most unfiltered state, without the usual layers of sarcasm or that teasing grin he wore during the day. 
This was him in a space where he let her in more than either of them were willing to admit out loud.
His body was warm, radiating heat in a way that made her immediately feel guilty for disturbing him. His fingers, though a little clumsy with sleep, rubbed slow, lazy circles against her back.
The motion was surprisingly soothing. She let out a long breath, slowly sinking into him as her muscles began to relax.
"You’re restless," He murmured after a few seconds, his hand still moving against her back in that gentle way, keeping her anchored against him. His lips brushed the top of her head again, a ghost of a kiss that she wasn’t sure he even knew he gave. 
"Always overthinking."
She felt her chest tighten at his words. He knew her too well. And maybe that was why it was so terrifying—the way he could see through her, even in his half-asleep state. 
But at the same time, it was why she kept coming back, why she never left his bed after nights like these. He knew her, and despite that, he stayed.
"I’m not overthinking," She mumbled, but the words lacked conviction. He let out a small scoff that vibrated against her forehead, assuring her that he was definitely conscious yet sleepy. Cute. 
"Sure," he muttered, but his tone was softer now, less teasing, more understanding. His hand slid from her back to beneath her the fabric that hugged her waist, fingers tracing mindless patterns across her skin.
"Just... try to sleep."
"That’s exactly what i’ve been doing for the past—"
"Shush."
At his lazy voice and his hand slowly prompting her figure, she nestled deeper into him, her body naturally curling against his, her cheek resting against his collarbone. 
He smelled like the faint traces of his vanilla scented cologne mixed with warmth—Seungmin’s warmth, something uniquely his that made her eyelids feel heavier.
"Close your eyes, and don’t focus on anything other than sleeping."
"I’ll sleep if you stop talking,"
He let out a quiet, annoyed breath, his grip on her waist tightening just a fraction, pulling her closer to him. 
"You’ll sleep," he replied simply, his voice now barely above a whisper.
His body was comfortable, solid against hers, and his steady breathing began to lull her in ways her own mind couldn’t. 
The itch to move, to toss and turn, slowly began to fade as his fingers danced across her clothed waist, occasionally slipping under the hem of the same camisole once again to skim her skin.
She wasn’t sure how long they stayed like that, caught in a limbo between wakefulness and sleep, with his heartbeat beneath her ear acting as her lullaby. 
But eventually, the weight of the day began to catch up with her.
Just as she was on the cusp of sleep, she felt his lips brush against her forehead, barely there, like a secret.
"Sleep well," he whispered, so soft that she almost missed it.
"Night, Seung.." She whispered back, letting herself finally fall into sleep, comforted by the fact that, for now, things were exactly how they were supposed to be.
No nonchalance. No heavy talks.
Just the quiet, unspoken connection that somehow made it all make sense.
— next morning. 
The first thing she noticed was the cold.
It wasn’t the kind of cold that came from a draughty window or a forgotten blanket. 
Not really. 
No, this was the absence of warmth—the absence of him. 
Her body, once cocooned in his embrace, now lay exposed to the chill of the early morning air. 
She blinked her eyes open slowly, the sunlight beginning to creep through the half open curtains, painting the room in soft shades of orange and gold.
But his warmth? Gone. Just like always.
With a heavy sigh, she turned her head toward the empty space beside her, the sheets already cooling where his body had been only a few hours before. 
The faintest outline of his presence was still visible—a wrinkle in the bedding, the faintest impression of his form in the pillow. 
But Seungmin? He was long gone.
It had become a routine by now, one she was all too familiar with. No matter how late the night before — no matter how close their bodies were tangled up in each other, or how intimate the way he held her — he always left before she woke. 
Sometimes, she’d wake in the middle of the night, find him still there, his arms snug around her waist, his breath soft against her hair. But by morning? Always gone.
She stretched out a hand, her fingers brushing against the cold pillow where his head had been, and a familiar pang of emptiness settled in her chest. 
It wasn’t like she expected anything different. This was their agreement, after all — being friends with benefits, emphasis on the “friends” part. 
No strings attached. No feelings to complicate things.
Just two music majors, as close as dorm-mates, fulfilling their hollow desires. 
Or at least, that’s what they kept telling themselves.
With a groan, the girl pulled herself up into a sitting position, running a hand through her messy hair as she stared at the empty side of the bed for a moment longer. 
The apartment was quiet, the early morning stillness only punctuated by the faint sound of birds chirping outside the window. If she strained her ears, she could probably hear him in the kitchen, going about his morning routine like nothing had happened. 
Like they hadn’t spent half the night wrapped up in each other’s arms, skin pressed to skin, whispered breaths filling the silence between them.
Pushing the thought aside, she swung her legs over the edge of the bed and stood up, the cool floor beneath her feet sending a brief shiver up her spine. 
She grabbed her robe from the back of the door and wrapped it around herself, over her camisole, tying the belt with a quick knot before stepping out of her bedroom.
As expected, he was already in the kitchen.
The scent of freshly brewed coffee wafted through the small apartment, mingling with the sound of soft clinking dishes. He stood at the stove, back turned to her as he focused on whatever breakfast he was making. 
His hair was still slightly tousled, sticking up in a few places from sleep, but otherwise, he looked like his usual self — calm, collected, completely unfazed by the night before.
Yet, adorable. Enough for her to fold over. 
She lingered in the doorway for a moment, watching him. He was wearing a simple black t-shirt and grey sweatpants, his usual morning attire, and he moved around the kitchen with an easy grace, like he belonged there. 
Like this was just another normal day.
Because to him, it was.
Or, at least that’s what she assumed. 
She sighed, pushing the door of his room open a little wider as she stepped out of it, walking to the kitchen. 
"Morning," she mumbled, her voice still thick with sleep.
Seungmin glanced over his shoulder at her, his expression unreadable as always, yet he gave her a tiny smile, which she knew was genuine. 
"Morning, insomniac." he replied, as if he hadn’t left the bed they shared, just an hour ago.
She made her way to the counter, grabbing a mug and filling it with coffee from the pot he had brewed, a small smile tugging her lips at his reply. 
She leaned against the kitchen counter, her fingers wrapped around the warm mug of coffee. She took a small sip, letting the heat spread through her as she watched the guy move around the kitchen with his usual quiet efficiency. 
But as she took another sip of her coffee, she couldn’t help but feel the growing weight of those unspoken feelings, the ones that clung to her chest like a secret she didn’t want to acknowledge.
She glanced at him again, the way his hair was still a little messy, the way he absentmindedly hummed under his breath as he cooked. Her chest fluttered, just a bit, at the sight.
“Slept well, did you?” 
His voice broke through her thoughts, casual as ever, but there was a softness to it – obviously since he already knew the answer, a smirk tugging the corner of his lips.
She shrugged, setting her mug down on the counter with a soft clink. “Surprisingly,”
He didn’t respond right away. He flipped the eggs with practised ease before turning off the stove, and when he turned around to face her, there was something unreadable in his eyes. His usual teasing smirk was absent, replaced by something quieter, more thoughtful.
She was sitting on the chair, fingers idly tracing the hem of the mug, gaze right on it but mind elsewhere.
For a moment, they just stood there, the silence between them heavy with all the things they never said. 
The guy’s heart did that stupid thing again where it skipped a beat whenever she seemed like that – he could see straight through her.
Her baby hair framing her face, the sunlight bouncing off of the curves of her head. Pretty, black, eyes concentrated on the green mug, carrying the same depth they always did, and he would oh so fondly dive into them.
“Coffee too strong?” he asked, breaking the silence as he moved to pour himself a cup.
She let out a small breath she hadn’t realised she was holding. “It’s fine, just kinda tired,” she chuckled, crossing her arms over her chest, feeling suddenly exposed under his gaze. 
“How.. about you? Sleep well?”
He shrugged, taking a sip of his coffee. “Slept fine until someone decided to practise gymnastics at 3 am.”
His words were teasing, but his voice was gentle, and for some reason, that made her heart skip a beat again. 
She awkwardly smiled, scratching her arm, a habit she grew familiar with, and he knew it quite well.
“I’m sorry, I was– warm, okay?”
He chuckled, “Warm, and sleep-deprived but lost in thought? Yeah, I know,” he replied softly, his eyes lingering on her for a beat longer than necessary before he looked away, focusing on his coffee instead.
And that was the problem, wasn’t it? He always knew. Even when she didn’t say anything, even when she tried to brush it off, he always knew.
She hated that about him. And she loved it too.
“Thanks.” She suddenly murmured, “I mean, for uh, h-helping me sleep. Last night.”
He smiled, this time, softer than ever. “It’s nothing. At least you had a good sleep after.. I don't know, weeks?” 
“It wasn’t that long!”
He shot her a look that she knew too well.
“Okay maybe it was. But that doesn’t matter for now,”
The corners of his lips curled up at her indignant reply, but he didn’t press further, simply shaking his head as he took another sip of his coffee. 
His eyes flicked back to her, soft and observing, and for a moment, he let himself get lost in the simplicity of the scene – the quiet morning, the soft golden light filtering through the windows, and her, sitting at the counter, her sleepy, tousled appearance making her look unfairly adorable.
For a while, they just stayed like that, bantering and sipping their coffee, the easy silence between them filling the room. 
It wasn’t awkward. It was never awkward with him. 
That was part of the reason she kept coming back to this – whatever this was. It was easy. Comfortable. 
But lately, that comfort had started to come with a twist – a knot of feelings tangled somewhere deep in her chest that she wasn’t quite sure what to do with.
His eyes were still on her, his teasing grin fading into something more thoughtful as the quiet stretched between them.
“You’re doing that.. thing again,” he said suddenly, voice low.
She blinked, tilting her head. “What thing?”
“The thinking thing. The kind that keeps you up all night.”
She felt her cheeks flush slightly and quickly looked away, pretending to focus on her coffee instead. “I’m not—”
“You are,” he cut in, his voice soft but firm. He set his mug down on the counter and took a few steps closer, stopping just a foot away from her. 
“You get this look when you’re overthinking. Your eyebrows scrunch up, and you kind of space out, like you’re solving the world’s most complicated puzzle.”
Her lips parted slightly, caught off guard by how easily he read her. “So you stare, hm?” She grinned, trying to lift away the tension.
She didn’t know what to say, so she just stared down at her coffee, feeling a little too exposed under his knowing gaze.
“It’s kinda hard not to.” He replied a minute later, the same expression on his face.
“Well, I’m not always thinking about something.. deep.” she mumbled, but the protest was weak, and she knew it. “It’s just about uni, and other stuff, nothing to worry about.” She shrugged.
Seungmin just chuckled, a deep, throaty sound that made her chest flutter. “Sure,” he teased lightly, but then his voice softened. “Look, if something’s bothering you—”
“Nothing’s bothering me,” she interrupted quickly, her gaze flicking back to him, trying to muster a convincing smile. “I’m fine.”
Seungmin raised an eyebrow, clearly not buying it. “You know, for someone who’s known me this long, you’re terrible at lying.”
She let out an exaggerated groan, sinking further into her chair as she covered her face with her hands. “You’re so annoying,” she muttered, but there was no real heat behind her words.
“I try my best,” he quipped, the smirk back in full force. But then his expression softened again, and after a beat, he reached out, his hand ruffling her hair gently. “But seriously, Y/n. If you need to talk, I’m here.”
She peeked out from between her fingers, surprised by the sudden contact. His hand was warm, his touch soft and uncharacteristically gentle. She wasn’t used to this side of him—the one that was careful with her, the one that wasn’t constantly teasing or sarcastic. It made her chest tighten in a way that was both terrifying and comforting.
“I know,” she whispered, her voice small.
He gave a small nod and pulled his hand back, leaning against the counter again like nothing had happened. “Good.”
The room felt warmer now, despite the cool morning air seeping through the windows. Her heart was beating a little faster, and she wasn’t sure if it was because of his touch or the way his gaze lingered on her for just a second too long.
She cleared her throat, desperate to break the tension that was creeping in. “So,” she said, trying to sound casual. “What’s for breakfast?”
– almost 5 minutes later.
“You know,” she spoke, her voice casual now. “You’re really good at this.” She took a bite of the toasted bread, looking at him.
He glanced at her over his shoulder, flipping the last omelette, eyebrow raised. “Good at what? Making breakfast?”
“What? No,” she said, shaking her head with her eyes judging him. “Why do you think I don’t let you make lunch or dinner? I don’t want to be fined because someone blew up the oven.”
“Hey, I'm not that bad,” He glanced her way, defending himself. “I’m literally making breakfast right now.”
“You’ve cooked the same eggs or burnt pancakes for breakfast for almost 4 weeks in a row, Seungmin.” She rolled her eyes, speaking again. “But, what I meant was.. you’re good at comforting me.”
For a second, the air between them shifted, the teasing banter falling away as her words hung in the space between them. He turned fully to face her now, his expression softening as he met her gaze.
“Well,” he said slowly, his voice soft, “you make it pretty easy.”
Her heart did that stupid fluttering thing again, and she quickly averted her gaze, suddenly feeling shy under his intense stare. “You’re such a sap,” she muttered, though her voice lacked the usual bite.
He chuckled, his smile reaching his eyes as he turned back to the food, finishing plating the eggs and toast for himself. “Maybe,” he admitted, sliding on the chair beside her. “But only for you.”
She blinked, silently, as her heart skipped a beat at his words. She stared at him, but he didn’t seem fazed by what he’d just said, casually sitting down across from her and taking a bite of his toast like he hadn’t just made her entire world tilt on its axis.
Oh, but little did she know, he was as surprised as her at those words leaving his mouth. The fluttering feeling inside his heart, the way she was looking at him, when he tried so hard to act nonchalant.
She picked up her fork, her hands suddenly feeling clumsy as she poked at her food.
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⠀⠀𓄳 ֹ ͏   ⊹   𓎆⠀.   𓂅  ֹ ͏⠀◯
a/n ♡︎
OMGGGG happy birthday to the love of my life my baby seungminieneeiensiseesn I STILL HAVENT COMPLETED LIX FIC. I AM SO SORRY YALL ILL POST WHEN I CAN 😞😞😞😞 exams start tmr kms this is a twoshot btw. so wait patiently for the final part tysmmm <3 plz reblog/comment/like if u like my fics <33 made another spam acc for skz @loveforseung ALSO I HAVE AO3 !! user's same as @loveforseung go follow !! making a masterlist for all of my posts, plz lmk if u wanna be a part of it ! <3 have a good day ~ – love, yani ♥︎
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frogserotonin · 7 months ago
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overthinker- lars pinfield x reader
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a/n: short one bc im still in a slump rn many sorries. also sorry lawl this fic is so disconjointed and i’m really unhappy with it but whatever 😭 warnings: nothin proper i don’t think, most ooc lars to ever ooc, unedited; tell me if i've spelt smth wrong 😁
“Would you want to go out to get some lunch together on our break?” Your fingertips bounce off of the sides of your legs as you try to remain composed. You're so high-strung right now, you almost expect him to laugh in your face. Nerves and the effects of having slept a fitful two hours last night override your usually rational brain and you feel the need to just run away without receiving an answer bloom in your chest.
“I thought you usually brought lunch? If you forgot to bring some you can have some of mine, if you want.” Lars doesn’t even look up from what he’s working on, just adjusts his glasses and uses a vague jut of his elbow to point to his locker, where you know his bag is. Your heart simultaneously drops and stutters. 
“Oh, it’s okay, I just felt like going out to eat, thank you though.” You try to make your words seem more upbeat than you feel, unsure of whether or not to take his words as a rejection.
“Oh. Okay then.” It must be your imagination, but his words hold a hint of disappointment. You open your mouth again, then close it, and silence re-envelopes the room. Turning, you make your way to your desk and begin to work away, dejection slumping your shoulders forward and making time drag on. When eventually the lunch break arrives, you grab your bag and rush your way out of the lab.
A squeak of shoes on the concrete floor behind you almost has you looking back, but your brain is so addled you almost believe you’ve made it up.
Like a fool, you don't talk to him when you come back, or when you leave, the time you spend alone and in silence building up an anxiety in the back of your mind. The idea that he's all too aware of your feelings, and is made uncomfortable by them and your advances overtakes you completely. That night, you stay awake, tossing and turning, over analysing every interaction you've ever had with him, trying to make sure you've not overstepped and made a complete and utter fool of yourself.
In the morning, you consider it a miracle you leave the house at all, with how tired you are. The thought of calling in sick crosses your mind, but by the time you get up your body automatically locks itself into its usual routine, and you mindlessly get dressed and make your way to the Ghostbusters facilities. Through your drowsiness, the realisation that you’re at your desk and doing absolutely nothing sets in and you jolt. 
“Good morning.” If he didn’t sound so concerned, Lars would sound thoroughly amused. “You alright? Look a bit…off.” Your face flares, and you go to stand up, only to stumble and almost fall on your face. Hands out, you stabilise yourself, and then face him.
“Yeah. Morning.” You can only hope that he backs off, because his concern seems too genuine for your feelings to not expand exponentially the more he stands before you looking like he cares. “M’feeling just peachy, you?.” Belatedly, you realise your words are clearly not convincing because he doesn’t move an inch, simply studying you. He then sighs and shakes his head, chuckling a little bit, just softly under his breath, taking a couple steps closer to you. 
“When’s the last time you slept?” His voice is too gentle, too un-Lars-like, that you’re almost convinced you actually did fall asleep last night, and now you’re dreaming. You open your mouth to respond, but find yourself nodding off as you do so, the last thing you process before fully passing out is the feeling of arms around your chest and shoulders. 
When you come to, you sit up quickly, and slowly become aware of what had happened. Muttering cursing to yourself under your breath, you take in your surroundings, finding yourself slung over the small couch situated in the room reserved for taking time off from work briefly. Hurriedly, you rush out of the room towards where you assume Lars is working, apology already on the tip of your tongue. You approach him quickly and loudly, a fact that can be gathered from his head immediately snapping up when you enter the room. He starts to speak, no doubt to rattle off reasons why you were irresponsible and stupid for coming to work while being aware you weren’t at your fullest capacity, but you cut him off.
“God, I’m so sorry. That was humiliating, and I’m so, so sorry that it happened, it won’t happen again.” You bow your head, refusing to look him in the eye, but quickly look up again when you hear him laugh. 
“It’s fine, really, you just scared me a little bit.” His smile is small, but sincere and you remember fully the reason you were in the predicament in the first place. “Are you feeling better now?” 
You probably look a bit crazy with how vigorously you nod, but you barely care anymore. 
“Yes, thank you so much, really, I’m sorry that it happened.” He laughs again, and it sounds like heaven.
“You don’t need to thank me or apologise,” Lars’ eyes sparkle a bit behind his glasses when he properly smiles, and you can feel warmth rush to your face. He hesitates, like he’s calculating his words, then gently says “I-uh. I care for you a lot, it really meant nothing for me to make sure you were okay.”
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ijbolz · 8 months ago
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( NSFW MDNI ) jiung x fem!reader
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3.4k words — it’s one of those nights again, where jiung badly felt like he needed some sort of release to help himself loosen up a bit during finals week at university. and what better way to de-stress than to jerk off, right? but when he’s surprised to see a message notification from his favorite camgirl, telling him about missing the private video call session he’d “apparently” purchased days ago, his horniness seems to fizzle down in confusion.
🗯️ mutual masturbation, cute and gentle jiung (but sometimes he can’t help his filthy mouth), a little bit of edging, reader gets called angel
(apologies for any typos, im currently half awake rn •́‿•̀)
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look, he might’ve been one of the top students at his high school like what… years ago? yet he’ll admit he couldn’t dodge the burnt out gifted kid syndrome that almost everyone in the same situation as him catches as some kind of canon event in their life.
university felt like a punch to the gut, especially when JIUNG currently finds himself in a dilemma between keeping his grades afloat while he simultaneously pursues his dream of becoming a music producer. he doesn’t even care anymore if he doesn’t get the same stellar marks as usual, as long as he doesn’t fail. that’s all that counts. i mean, that’s what the other seniors like him were saying, right?
he tries his best to tiptoe through his shared dorm room with INTAK, passed out on the couch, drunk—he assumes, from the common room reeking of booze and the shallow glint of emptied soju bottles by the floor.
jiung locks the door to his room with bated breath. he lets his shoulder bag slide off to a corner, making sure his tissue box is right on his nightstand. it’s always been there anyway… he thinks before settling on his bed, phone in hand.
there’s nothing more that he wants right now than to jerk off or... shoo his stress away, and what better chance to do it while he watches his bookmarked porn videos in his private twitter account.
yeah, no… he’s too paranoid messing with this kind of stuff in his main, always thinking of the worst possible scenarios of accidentally liking a video… until it just gets aired out in the open for the rest of his followers to see. he keeps his circle close. though it’s just a couple of high school and university friends following him… he doesn’t want anyone knowing about his business like that.
he sits on his bed with the subtle glow of his phone screen illuminating him, pathetically huffing to himself as he wonders about his stagnant relationship status while he’s on the verge of graduating. jiung can’t seem to pinpoint what’s holding him back from meeting other people. it’s not like he’s far too buried within the books or… is it because of his embarrassing soundcloud rapper reputation that spread as a rumor through parties. he swears if they just give him a listen then they’ll know he’s not what they think he is!
but that’s the least of his concerns right now as he falls into another reverie of frustration, especially with these soulless nights of having to make do with just his hand.
all of his twitter dms are just full of his university “bros” and trivial conversations with them, except he’s surprised when he sees an unread message at the top of the list from…
…his favorite camgirl?
by favorite he means… probably the only camgirl he watches after accidentally stumbling upon your live one random friday night. a part of him thinks he accidentally pressed on a suspicious link and now his hacked account is receiving dms from some virus.
but when he opens up the conversation, he’s surprised to see a full-length message from you. though he���s not used to getting personally addressed with the petnames he’s being called within the message, he just brushes it off.
“i just wanted to inform you about the private video call you’d purchased from me a week ago, you weren’t responding on the set date~” it were the only words that registered in his feeble tired brain at that second… until he’s scrambling to sit up on his bed, wide-eyed and completely confused.
jiung does spend some time watching you when you go on live, but he can’t even remember purchasing anything from you at all. he’d get so dizzy and horny at times but he knows he’s not that kinda guy to avail extra services or whatever bullshit men are up to these days.
so he’s quick to type up an apology, expecting you to inbox an insignificant guy like him and move on. except… you seem to be nice enough to not let go just because he’d “apparently” paid for it already. it’ll just be a waste if he leaves it be, or you could just refund him the money.
but wait… if it’s already been paid though, who’s card was it from since he’s so sure it wasn’t from his. from having been monitoring if he has enough for his food expenses at the dorms, he can’t let a single dime out of sight.
he can’t help but laugh under his breath when he sees your message pop up, telling him about a certain “hwang intak” showing up on the transaction details for the payment. jiung thought that it must’ve been when the other guys got ahold of his phone when he blacked out from too much alcohol one night.
explains the weird glances from his other friends he’d catch at the halls as well, yet never receiving any further explanations. coming at him and asking, “so how was it?”, snickering to themselves while he just stands there clueless, raising the question of “...how was what?”
since it wasn’t paid from his card anyway… might as well take the chance, right?
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it felt like a blur—blinking through his eyes as it finally sinks into him that he’s currently in a call with such a hottie like you. jiung can only swallow the lump in his throat that he hasn’t noticed from before. his face has fallen relaxed from seeing you through the screen, similarly basking under your dimly lit room. just enough that he could still make out the cute night gown you dressed yourself in. your figure’s flushed against the fabric, perfectly framing your silhouette.
"enjoy yourself, alright?" you began, his breathing picking up, feeling like it's all going too fast for his liking. and though you attempt a small conversation with him, your voice fades into the background, his gaze flickering to your touchy hands.
it's not long until you start caressing yourself through your night gown, figuring that maybe jiung still needs a little push because of his silence. “you can tell me anything you want me to do jiung, darling.”
he honestly felt like a breath of fresh air compared to your viewers that like to frequent having calls with you, fluttering your lashes as you await his words. “i’d like i-if, you lay down. please,” he’s so unbelievably sweet and gentle with his request, though his fierce stare said otherwise. like a flame lit within him.
and he desperately wishes you couldn’t see how nervous he is from his pathetic stutters. forgive him for not being as composed as he thought he’ll be, treading through unfamiliar waters. it’s not so often he’s got the chance to talk with such a babe like you—even calling each other just to do unspeakable things, he’s bound to go insane if he doesn’t inhale in a second.
he badly wishes he could just ravish you.
“have you still got anything underneath?” jiung manages to mutter, watching as you playfully pretend to think, a finger close to your chin.
“mhm-hm, i’ve got a surprise for you~”
he almost moans at your words, his eyes locked on his screen as he watches you fondle your breasts through your night gown. his sweatpants started feeling a little too tight for his liking, deeply aroused at the sight of your nipples perking up against the fabric, soft whines escaping your lips. and you only giggle at him, noticing the way jiung begins to fidget, palming his bulge out of frame. yet you don’t utter a word as well.
but the fabric’s feeling far too prickly on your skin as you kept on teasing your sensitive nipples through your clothes, hips bucking up against nothing...and so you beg, “can’t take it anymore, jiung… wanna take it all off,” he blushes at the way you’d call out his name.
the softness within his tone doesn’t falter as he tells you to go ahead and take your night gown off. you do, jiung watching the way your breasts get caught in the silk fabric bunching as you pull it up. biting his lip when he sees your sensitive parts covered in cute lace lingerie. swiftly dreaming of ripping them off or… gently tugging on it until you’re fully bare, whatever you want. anything just so he could press gentle kisses and suck everywhere he possibly could, except he can’t.
jiung’s frustration led to him pulling down the hem of his sweatpants, mind in a frenzy as he almost salivates at the tantalizing sight.
of course you had to give him a little show, cutely turning around so he could get a view with that sultry gaze of his. he snaps out of his trance when he hears the creak of your bed, your figure slipping out of the frame once you utter that you’ll be right back.
it's not for long until you return, meeting his eyes, lip caught between your teeth as you hid what you brought in with you. “i wonder how you’re so patient with me,”
you raise the question after not hearing a single peep from him, after having done everything else you had to by the minute. even setting up the camera a little closer so he’d get a better view of your clothed cunt.
“how could i rush an angel like you?”
and just when you thought he’d be so timid all night, he manages to make your heart flutter out of your chest, a grin sneaking on your lips followed by a short chuckle.
“mhmm, look at what you do to me, jiung.” you whisper, pulling your panties to the side, enough to reveal your dripping slit. he groans through his lips that were once pursed, hips bucking up at his hand. it’s so obvious how he felt a little embarrassed about being so worked up this early on during the call. and you haven’t even fully stripped yet.
“i want to see you feel good… play with that pretty pussy of yours for me?” it’s like his cock is talking for himself at this point, wishing you missed the way his eyes widened a little at his words.
“it’s almost as if you always know the right thing to say,” you coo at him before shuffling on the sheets, pulling in within the frame a bunch of the toys you like to use to get yourself off during your livestreams. “help me pick?” your hand found purchase in a cute little pink toy that could fit snugly right into your palm. “this one helps me squirt a bit easier—”
“—i know.” he cuts you off, trying to blink away the daze he’s caught ever since he’s been on call with you. it’s like his horniness urges him to talk without a second thought.
“of course you’d know,” you reply with a slight laugh, settling the little toy back onto your pile.
before you could pick up your vibrator by the side, jiung’s quick to catch your attention, eyes flickering up at him. “i was wondering if you could try that one, by your thigh.”
“this pastel pink one?” he nods, fixated on how your fingers couldn’t even fully wrap around the girth of the toy. he’s not one to show off, and yet he can’t help but feel like it slightly resembles his cock a bit, even a little on the veinier edge. he pushes his obscene fantasies toward the back of his mind but he can’t seem to stop wondering… if you really were there with him, could you really handle his cock?
and he thinks it’s a bit cute that your toy matches your lingerie set, tilting your head to the side as if you were asking him permission to take all of the pink fabric off. once the rest of your clothes were discarded, you wasted no time on settling the toy on the bed, kneeling to grind your wet cunt on the tip until jiung softly insists that he wants you to lay back onto your sheets.
“just wanna see how it, s-stretches you out…” you think he’s so adorable trying to keep a gentle tone while his words were a total contrast, straight up filth. don’t get him wrong, he couldn’t resist watching you bounce on your little toy until you cream all over. it’s just that, he wonders what it’ll look like when you're beneath him. but he keeps his thoughts a hushed secret.
you think jiung’s really cute trying to ask, but you wanted to play with him a little bit more before you could have your fun.
“it’s no fair you get to see me with nothing on at all… wanna see you too,”
he only blinks, brows furrowed like there was an inch of hesitation tugging him back. despite everything, he really couldn’t resist your adorable plea, angling his phone down. enough for you to still get a view of his pretty lips, the expanse of his neck—adam’s apple bobbing as he gulps. wishing badly that you could suck on the exposed skin as the collar of his sweater almost slides down his shoulder.
but what really catches your attention is his leaky cock, salivating over the sight of his tip, an angry red.
“so you're hiding all that underneath?”
jiung bites his lip in silence. he doesn't get this much attention from before, so he's a bit clueless on how to act. it’s not like he hasn’t flirted with anyone else his whole life, it’s just that... he hasn’t gone to this phase yet. and with such a huge leap he’s facing tonight, he’s a bit embarrassed that it makes his cock twitch in return.
“what’d you say you go on live with me sometime soon?” he catches the way you begin to drag the shaft of the toy in between your legs, enough to make it all sticky with your arousal, teasing your sensitive clit. jiung’s quick to match your pace, dragging his palm repeatedly from the base up to his tip. he’s trying to find the right words… yet he's miserably reduced to a mere stutter.
“just kidding baby,” he breathes out a sigh from your reply. out of relief or pleasure, he doesn't know.
“want you all to myself anyway, can’t have others looking at you like i do. right baby?” and it's like his hand has a mind of his own as his pace speeds up, sinking onto the sheets as he starts to feel the pleasure surge through his nerves. his eyes are fierce as he watches the way you slowly inch the tip of the toy into your hole, splitting you open. you badly wish you could see the look on his face when he lets out the hottest groans you’d ever heard in your life.
“nghm, jiung…” you sink the whole length of the toy inside of your sopping cunt, cheeks flushed as he tightens his grip everytime his hand reaches the base of his cock. fuck, he truly wants to find out how it feels like to thrust into that pretty pussy of yours. must feel so good, feeling your wetness clench around him.
“be a little bit more vocal with me, especially with a voice like that.” you wantonly urged. and when he’d thought he'd only dream of hearing a compliment like that towards his songs. jiung felt like he’s gonna melt at your words.
you desperately wanted to hear the rasp in his voice as you eventually got used to the stretch of your toy, clenching around the veins of its shaft. “fuck yourself how you’d think i’d do you if i was there,”
you can’t help but moan at his sudden words, fingers tight around your toy, attempting to meet your sloppy thrusts halfway.
“oh you’re so filthy huh,” a smirk tugs at the side of ur lips, following his firm command. “from the way you’re breathing so heavily right now i think you couldn't really resist me at all.”
your words fade into a whimper when you’d grant what he asked for, sinking your toy over and over inside your cunt in a mindblowing pace. and it’s until he begins to see your arousal seep around where your hole meets the shaft, so wet and messy.
jiung matches your speed, so sure that if it were your cunt gripping his cock right now instead of his hand, he would’ve been pathetically cumming already. he wouldn’t admit it but you’re right, he’d absolutely lose his mind, like what he’s starting to feel by the second. fighting to keep his heavy lids open as the squelch of your wet cunt echoes through his ears, each thrust wishing it was the tip of his throbbing cock hitting your spot.
fuck, it’s driving jiung insane when you start to whine about wanting to cum badly, and yet he’s so shameless when he tells you to keep it in until he says so, biting your lip at the abrupt shift in tone.
"ahh... you're such a tease,"
it’s so cute as the both of you slow down before almost crashing into your climax, trembling hand turning into an unhurried pace of thrusting as you hold onto your toy messy with slick. jiung kept silent, looking so adorably pathetic as he couldn't help but buck into his palm wrapped around the length of his cock.
“let me see your face angel?” and you peer the camera up so he could see your glossy eyes, tears threatening to escape from the desperation of wanting to chase your high. unfortunately, he doesn’t wanna snap you out of getting edged yet.
he’s such a menace as he begins his pace again, and only him, leaving you uttering pleas for his signal. moaning in unison while he’s trying to reach the same peak as you.. only resorting to fiddling with your perked nipples, toy still inside of your pulsing hole.
“i’m cumming, fuck… cum with me angel.” and at his words you follow, beginning to fuck yourself to amplify the heat pooling at your stomach, eyes shut tight wishing it was him plowing through your cunt, mad.
it’s not for long until you’re so lost within a drunken haze, only a chorus of erotic moans exchanged between a screen. though you’d fuck yourself countless of times before with this filthy toy, it had never felt this good. as if it were jiung who was pushing you toward the edge of pleasure, or maybe it’s just his charms taking effect on you.
you throw the thought aside as you watch him chase his climax. furiously stroking himself over and over with just the mere desperation and horniness of a touch-deprived graduating college student, along with the echo of your breathy whines to get him off.
jiung reaches his orgasm with a deep groan vibrating in his chest, and you think about how cute he is when he couldn’t help but jerk his hips up at his grip, hot cum all messy as it shoots out of his slit. and just like he does, your vision gets cloudy, back arching, as your legs begin to tremble, fucking yourself with fervor through your climax using your girthy toy. you’d never had a shuddering orgasm like this before, numbing your thighs until the rest of the pleasure spread through your veins. and you kept fucking and fucking the toy into you until your trembling hands had mercy on your pulsing cunt.
of course your eyes had never left him, moaning at the sight of his flushed cheeks, mouth slightly agape in bliss until he can’t cum anymore. you coo when his camera suddenly looks hazy. and from jiung’s point of view, he’d pathetically made a mess of his release all over his screen, looking like he'd actually cum all over your face, clarity following closely.
it was silent for a long moment, until your giggles interrupted the silence. “you had fun?”
“y-yeah i…” his voice is hoarse through the little stutters, trying to catch his ragged breath.
“you were so cute,” you can't help but giggle again, slipping the toy out of your cunt with ease.
fuck, you looked so hot, can’t even take his eyes off you when he watches your sticky cum drip out of your hole… down to your sheets.
“i-i’ll help you clean up if i could, sorry i really,-”
“i think it's more like you need to clean up, something’s gotten on your camera.”
and that’s when he snaps back into reality… scrambling to his box of tissues and wipes his filthy mess off of his screen. and in a daze, jiung accidentally ends the call when he wipes over the end call button.
fuck. fuck. fuck.
it’s like he’d cum once and just started to fumble every single thing he’s trying to do. he swiftly types up a cute little apology of how he didn’t mean to end the call so abruptly, missing the way you’d only giggle at his flood of messages. this time, he made sure he wiped his hand clean before fiddling with the damn screen of his phone.
y/n: sweet dreams, cutie~
he watches as the last of your message pops up before sinking into his plush sheets, blankly staring at the darkness of his ceiling. choi jiung you're crazy...
...his friends won’t fucking believe his story.
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n0vaisnthere · 5 months ago
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The way you wrote that comfort scene on Navia x reader was soo good i loved it.
Can i request a Furina x gn!reader, where reader comforts Furina after she woke up from a nightmare?
★ Frère Jacques★
Furina x GN! Reader
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Angst/comfort
Thanks for the request!
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She was on stage again, like how she was for years. Furina desperately wanted to leave her past behind, but no matter how hard she tried, the nightmares never stopped coming back.
Knawing at the back of her mind, sleepless nights started to add up over time. She couldn't stop dancing.. the roaring laughter from the audience echoing off the opera house's walls.
No matter how hard she tried, her limbs kept om moving. A jump, a skip, and a twirl. All around the stage. She couldn't speak. The lights above were blinding. She felt like a puppet on strings. Worse off all, you were there. Front and center, pointing and laughing. She felt mortified.
"Furnina?"
The act started to speed up. Jump, skip, twirl all around stage. The audience only cheered louder. She wanted it to stop..
"Furina?"
She felt her limbs start to burn, twirling in the air. It felt hard to breathe..
"Stop it!"
She cried out, though the audience didn't stop.. you didn't stop, still pointing right at her. All eyes on her
"Furina!" You yelled, frowing as you shook her awake.
She gasped, suddenly shooting up from the bed.. right, it was a dream. she was only dreaming. She was gasping for breath. You gave her a worried look. You placed a comforting hand on her shoulder
"Are you okay? It was just a nightmare.." You gently moved, taking both of her hands in yours. Her gaze met yours as damp, warm tears started to gather in her eyes.
"Hey, Furina.. look at me.." you frowned, raising her intertwined hand up, placing them over your heart.
"Feel that? Just take a deep breath.. listen to my heartbeat." You sent her a small smile, taking in a deep breath yourself.
This wasn't the first time Furina had had a nightmare. Well, you were in bed with her. However, she would never tell you what it was about. You stopped asking. Obviously, it was personal, and you didn't want to overstep her boundaries. Furina took in small shakey breaths, closing her eyes as she felt your steady heartbeat on her palms. She sent you a small smile.
"Thank you.." her voice was a bit strained.
You pushed the covers off of you, about to go get her some water when you felt her hand wrap around your wrist.
"Stay?" She said you couldn't resist, slowly climbing back in bed.
The both of you cuddled, she was laying right next to you, your arm resting behind her head, acting like a pillow, the other lazily wrapped around her.
"Im sorry you have to put up with me.." she said, closing her eyes as she let out a small sigh.
She didn't know how she ended up with a person like you. You were so understanding.. she couldn't even get a night worth of sleep. keeping you up to comfort her felt selfish of her.
"Dont say that, I'd do this a thousand more times if I had to.." you said, giving her a small, sleepy smile.
"Goodnight, coquillage"
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MASTERLIST—★ here
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likeapriceless-wine · 6 months ago
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Night Terrors
Guess what !! You can respond to this in character (if you want)! And if someone has already responded you can backtrack and start from the beginning with your character or slide in whenever you please the timeline is whatever we make it babes. Jump in wherever you see fit
Tw for sa implications and just general trauma and nightmares. This one may not be great for those with emetophobia as well, though I tried not to be too graphic bc I'm emetophobic too lmao
@glowsticks-soda-and-magic @cabin-12-resident-daddy-issues @dawn-lovelace @im-always-highhhh @childofthewargod
C.J woke up with a start, his eyes wide and his hands clutching the blankets so hard his knuckles were white
Dreams were never fun for demigods. They were almost always nightmares, sometimes damn near prophetic ones at that. Some were replays of past events that felt so horribly real that you had to do a reality check when you woke back up, and others seemed like they meant something, like something horrible was on it's way
Tonight's unconscious trauma movie that played in C.J's head was the casino. Gods, he fucking hated that place. The lotus in the air that earned the establishment it's name had long since worn off, and C.J remembered damn near everything that happened in there, whether he wanted to or not
He felt dirty handprints on his body, on his back and his chest, trailing all the way down to areas his pants covered
He heard disgusting, seductive whispers that made him feel like his last meal was coming back up his throat. He could feel the name 'Hermes' being whispered in his ear, and that finally did it
His stomach churned and he whispered a few curses under his breath and involuntary tears welled up in his eyes
Of course he had to be nauseous. After all, a nightmare wouldn't be complete without him hyperventilating, throwing up, or laying awake the rest of the night because his brain wouldn't let him risk another nightmare. Or some godsforsaken combination of the three if he was particularly unlucky
Tonight was looking like one of those nights
Most of the beds in the dionysus cabin were pushed together to make one big mattress, and Marjorie tended to use him as a pillow, so it was a bit of a struggle to scramble the way he was without waking anyone, or kicking Klaus in the gut
He ran off to the bathroom as quietly as he could, covering his mouth as his breathing started to get shaky
"Fuck fuck fuck" he murmured to himself as he shut the door, turning on the faucet and getting his empty flask out of his pocket to fill it with water
Drinking water would help, right? He at least hoped it would. He sipped it slowly, trying to calm down his breathing
'Cmon C.J, in through your nose out through your mouth. You're fine, you'll probably never even see him again' he thought to himself
'Goddammit, C.J, breathe or you're gonna hyperventilate and throw up or somethin!'
He tried humming Kate Bush's Army Dreamers to try and knock some sense into himself, but nevertheless he ended up throwing up in the sink
"Fuck" he whispered to himself, bracing his elbows on the edge of the sink and burying his face in his hands, wiping his mouth
He slumped down into the floor and pulled his hoodie up over his head, pulling the drawstrings in the hood to tighten it around his face and block out the light that was stinging his eyes
Great, it was gonna be one of those nights
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kichikichiko · 1 year ago
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Luckiest man
First time writing for Honkai star rail! Enjoy everyone
Here I am also, trying a new format of writing 🫶🏻
Synopsis: things you do that make these hrs men feel like the luckiest man in the universe
Pairing: Dan heng x gn!reader , Sampo x gn!reader, Gepard x gn! Reader
Cw: fluff, headcanon, not proofread
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DAN HENG
Dan Heng always feels like the luckiest man when hes with you, but something about waking up with you beside him either still sleeping soundly or awake gazing at him hits different.
The intimate moment you both share when sleeping together is something he wouldnt trade for the world
Its one of tbe only times you both get peace and quiet around.
If you still end up sleeping, he'll observe your features. The quite snore you make, the way your brows furrow from time to time, like your dream was extreamly serious
If you wake up before him though, he gets a bit flustered when he finally wakes up. Seeing your eyes look at him longingly as you broke the silence between the 2 of you "morning dear". It gets him everytime
he truly is the luckiest man in the universe.
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SAMPO
Sampo is a comic relief. Hes an idiot and a pain in the ass
All of which you have grown accustom to over time
Lots of people dont get how you can put up with his pathetic ass but here you are.
Sampo is well aware on how lucky he is to have such a patient partner like you and wouldnt dare take advantage of your kindness towards him.
He tries to make it up to you, be it giving gifts, acts of service or intimate moments between the 2 of you
You appreciate it all, but Sampo felt like he didnt hit the spot yet, one of which would make you truly appreciate what hes got to offer
After all youve given much more to him than you know,
You gave him many opportunities. You have him patience, kindness, love...
He feels like he needs up step up his game.
He finally found out what truly gets you to appreciate Sampo Koski
Its the jokes he makes, its when he embarrasses himself infront of you when he tried to look cool, its when he gets clumsy.
You laugh, and its a genuine laugh.
Whether or not your laugh was suppose to be a laugh of pity or not it was still genuine in the man's eyes
And thats what matters.
Because anytime he gets you to laugh, you'd help him back to his feet and give him a sweet kiss on his lips.
He starts making a fool out himself more often, of course not too often...
That would be concerning, but he does so when he knows you need it the most.
When you laugh, you make him feel appreciated
he starts chanting prayers to the Aeons above, thanking them for making him the way he is, and for bringing you to him.
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GEPARD
Gepard is a general, a Landau. His family was known to be warriors of Belobog. Serving until the end
As he made his way to the top, he got busier and busier. Coming home late, or even coming home the next morning.
When you both decided to make it official between the 2 of you, he told you about the late nights he may come home, and you stayed by his side anyways.
Accepting that, although it can get lonely sometimes, you are willing to wait for him to come home, and finally get the rest you both deserve together.
The general came home one night, to see a dim light coming from the living room.
It was you reading a book on the sofa, and he knew you were waiting for him again.
He felt guilty, for making you stay up and lose sleep, just to wait for him.
Gepard insisted that you shouldnt wait for him to come home next time, as he might come home later or even the next day. But you told him the same words he heard the first time he told you about the late nights
"Im aware and I dont care. I'll keep on waiting for you to come home. Whether it be 10 minutes or late into the night. I want to be able to welcome you home, and I want you to be able to sleep well, knowing that Im here right beside you."
Your patience and determination was what got him and
He knew he was head over heels for you now. My my what a lucky general this Landau became
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REQUESTS
Masterlist here!
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lunarw0rks · 1 year ago
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hi im so sorry to bother u with another request but it's kind of a spin off of the one u wrote for me before, but id like y/n to have a nightmare and simon isn't there right away and she passes out and he fears the worst? whenever u have time!! love ur writing so much!!
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Summary: When you collapse from a panic attack, Simon thinks the worst.
A/N: not really a pt.2 but more of a spin-off to the other drabble I wrote w/ a similar prompt. Word Count: 1.1k
Warning(s): established relationship, GN!Reader, domestic!simon, nightmares/panic attacks, mentions of intruders, brief gun mention
꒦꒷ MAIN MASTERLIST ꒷꒦ GHOST MASTERLIST ⋆ ⚘ 🕊 ˚✧ ₊˚ʚ ORIGINAL VER. // requests | ao3 ver.
Bad Dreams // Alternate
Since Simon come back from deployment, he’d try his hardest to take advantage of the limited time you guys had, before he was flown out to another operation.
Though he was the one halfway across the world, fighting the life of innocents and his own, he’s still convinced you’re even more tired than he is.
That’s the reason he doesn’t wake you when he goes to the drugstore quickly, as you’re curled up on the couch, deep in your much-needed nap. Typically he’d carry you to the bed and tuck you in, but you looked so peaceful.
He gives one more glimpse at your sleeping body through the doorway, then leaves as quietly as possible.
The nightmares you were having in his absence had dissipated since his return home. There was no point in telling Simon, and it felt foolish to you to be so concerned with night terrors.
Taking a quick nap on the couch seemed harmless enough, they usually happened when you were deep into your sleep.
That was until your peaceful dream turned into one of your nightmares, usually finding yourself running from an invisible threat, or failing to fight them off—all while Simon is in the corner, having no ounce of empathy for your pleas.
Your feet are too slow to make enough distance, and the dreamlike structure is crumbling around you, finally allowing the threat to close in on you. You feel the claws of the attacker dig into your skin when it seizes you, and you’re hit with that familiar falling feeling, similar to a fifty-foot drop.
You gasp awake, feeling some relief when you find yourself in your own living room. The adrenaline hasn’t dispersed yet, still coursing through your veins. You tear the blanket off of you and get yourself to your feet, roaming to the kitchen for a glass of water.
You wheeze as you’re filling up the glass, trying to soothe the burning in your lungs when you take a sip from it. You clench the glass tightly with one hand, the other clenching your chest. Your heart is pounding against your ribcage as if you’re about to battle a tiger, and it hasn’t slowed for a second.
The heaviness in your chest worsens, and your vision blurs. You’ve plummeted to the tile before you can grip the counter for balance, bursting the glass you’re holding to shards.
Simon’s steps up to the front porch are unmistakable, the same path he takes each time he comes home.
He unlocks the door, expecting to see you still slumbering, or in the kitchen making a snack. But when he’s instead greeted with silence, his heart drops. No TV mumble coming from the living room, no footsteps from the upstairs bedroom, or the sound of your humming in the kitchen.
When he peeks around the corner, seeing that you’ve left the couch. The bag he was carrying is silently set down on the entry table. His hand hovers over the pistol holstered to his belt as he advances to the kitchen.
His jaw tightens when he sees the water pooled on the ground, with floating shards of glass in them.
An intruder, possibly? Nothing is askew except for the broken glass. Maybe it’s personal, and you’re collateral damage?
He’d be lying if he hadn’t pictured this scenario before, coming home to find someone he loves in a gruesome state. It wouldn’t be the first time.
He grips the handle of his gun as he treads wearily into the kitchen, preparing himself for whatever state you might be in.
When he sees you, he’s both comforted and troubled at the same time. No blood, so signs of an attack, but you’re limp on the ground. He sees the rise and fall of your chest, and kneels beside you, checking your pulse. An audible sigh escapes him when he knows you’re still with him.
Your eyes open at the feeling of his icy fingers checking your pulse, making you look around at the scene before you.
He guides you to your feet, making sure you don’t step on any of the shards displaces on the tile. Once you’re sat at the table, and he’s got a good look at you, his brow furrows in frustration.
“How long has this been going on?” He questions sternly as if you were one of his subordinates.
You swallowed dryly, still feeling the dryness in your throat. “It’s never happened before… It’s not a big deal.”
“Not a big deal?” He cocks his head in disbelief, his tone raising a bit.
“Jesus, Love… I thought you were dead. Do you know how that feels? Knowing you could’ve been killed while I was out?” He scoffs because you know what he’s been through, and how he must’ve been riddled with flashbacks.
You look down at your lap, now feeling more humiliated than comforted. He regrets his firmness with you, but he wants to be privy to your struggles.
He places a hand at the back of your head, leaning down to kiss your forehead, then meets your eye level again. “I’m sorry for raising my voice. But you can’t hide things like that from me.”
He was right. Small secrets can turn into big problems at the drop of a hat. What if you had hit your head when you fell? Or your heart was racing so fast that you needed to be hospitalized?
You nodded, wrapping your arms around him. “I didn’t think my nightmares were so important, Simon.”
When he heard you say nightmares, he understood all too well what that felt like. How the fear creeps up on you, and before you know it you’ve been swallowed by it.
“When you’re collapsing from them, they are important, got it?” You nod once more in response, still not sure of how to handle this. They’ve never gotten this bad before, and this time you were lucky he was home to find you.
He ushers you back to the couch, basically forcing you to relax or he’ll tie you to it—his words, not yours.
As you lean your head against the armrest, he’s in the kitchen cleaning up the wreckage. Though he wasn’t one for lovey-dovey words, his actions spoke louder than that. Quiet tenderness was better than forced affection, which is something you would never expect him to give you.
When he returns, he outstretches his hand for you to clasp. When you do, he scoops you up over his shoulder, as if you were a wounded soldier. You exclaim in response, making him chuckle. He jogs up the stairs, not letting the weight of you on his shoulder slow him down one bit.
Once you’ve been thrown onto the mattress, he hovers over you.
“I don’t want you setting foot in that kitchen tomorrow. Is that clear?” He whispers with protective playfulness, waiting for a smile to spread on your lips.
“Or I’ll be forced to keep you like this all day.” He peppers a few kisses on your jawline, caging you with his frame, so you have no choice but to accept his attentiveness.
… ;)
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tiajk · 1 year ago
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Little Miss Hamilton(I think i’m actually hilarious)
Masterlist
Warnings: reader is seen as the Hamilton of the crew, reader is implied to have powers but not have eaten devil fruit, Poc reader implied (brown skin, curly hair ), It’s a platonic mostly (hint of zosan x reader not a hint it’s plain a day), Cursing, pre time skip im mind, Best friends Nami & Ussop (such an underrated duo), Mostly the Anime in mind when writing this, no use of name or y/n, grammar errors (i js know there are)
A/n: Told you guys another fic would be out today (I love Hamilton) (if you watch Hamilton what’s your favorite song(s) mines are satisfied & Non-stop), you guys i wrote this with the worst stomach pain im gonna fucking die
Dividers from ; @y-yushin & @anitalenia
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—It almost felt like a reward every single piece of it. Starting with the fact you were apart of the straw hat pirate crew. Luffy claimed that you were all the best including you. most of the time dismissing him with a smile and a small “thank you!!” Then going back to your books and writings. thinking back to the fights you’ve been though you were grateful for having your powers what was more important was knowledge knowing every single piece of information that you found valuable was important to you and you would do anything to obtain it. Even if that included staying up late at night sleeping all during the day which at first no one thought was odd just assuming you were like Zoro. At night was when you did your true calling the most knowledge obtained from the Stars making charts, maps, and hypothesis’s about the moon and why does it change every single night. Mind running through thousands of ideas on how. Most of the time you would ire yourself out so much that you would fall asleep on deck but someone would always awake in the night to check most of the time it was Sanji and Zoro. Whenever Zoro found you he would grumble stings of curses out of his mouth when he saw you. He didn’t understand why you would leave yourself out in the open just to get more information about the stars but he would rather die then let you sit out in the cold. Sanji was the same way he would find you most of the time after Luffy tries to sneak into the fridge and he can’t go back to sleep. Tonight is no different from the rest your slumped on the deck your book is closed secure so the wind wont open it with little bits of pages sticking out of it your notebook stacked on top as well. Sanji & Zoro both cant sleep tonight instead of arguing with each other the just drink and get to know each other better. Surprisingly there laughing together playfully bantering each other when Sanji’s expression changes and goes outside Zoro doesn’t know what he’s doing at first but then it clicks in his head you were probably asleep on the deck again. He follows Sanji out the kitchen door seeing Sanji picking you up bridal style already you look peaceful its like your boy knows that Sanji’s got you and that your safe. While he’s climbing up the stars when he passes zoro he stops “Can you get her books I would usually would get them but your here to help me this time”. He wants to roll his eyes but he can’t and for once he just listen maybe it’s the alcohol flowing through his system or maybe he knows how important your books are to you it’s your dream. During the day most of the time nami watched over you she would distract from your books claiming how you both needed a break. Dragging Ussop(he wanted to go) as you guys al go shopping and play a little dress up. By you guys its mostly nami and ussop finding clothes to give you and you to try on while they give you there opinions (Ussop has good fashion taste cant change my mind (u prob could but pls don’t). Nami Had this beautiful Long body con dress the base of the dress was a peachy pink with coral all over it the coral being in all different shapes the colors being blue, purple and ifferent shades of pink as well. “Go try it on it’s gorgeous and goes perfect with your skin tone ” taking the fabric from her hands you go to the dresseing room sort of excited to try it on. when you finished putting you examined your self in the mirror in the dressing room it was the perfect length on the floor but not enough to drag on your feet to annoy you but it hugged everywhere and it just felt perfect you didn’t really care if you have to go into debt for nami to buy this dress it would be worth it. While opening the door holding your hair in a low pony with no ponytail holder some curly staying in the front. Nami and Ussop mouth dropped to the floor when they saw you “What is it bad” you confidence going down slowly but it accelerates when nami says “It’s perfect on you we have to buy it it was literally made for you” you smile at her thanking her for the compliment “I agree it’s an amazing dress for you”.
—When going back in the dressing room as you put your other clothes on thinking what would Zoro and Sanji think about the dress you shiver at the thought of the reaction and shake it from your mind. When you guys head back to the ship it’s not loud and that worries you automatically as you speed up your pace to the going merry. Going to the kitchen is ur first stop and it was correct. You see Luffy, Sanji and Zoro all cooped up around something but you don’t know what “HMH” clearing your throat to get their attention. The all look in shock not expecting you to be there. Luffy hides the object behind his back “We thought you guys were still shopping?” “Well we're back now” You look at all three of the they seem nervous. Luffy is sweating hard “What do you have behind your back Luffy?” “Nothing” You don’t believe him so you place the shopping back on the counter and sit at the table with them “What’s the problem guys you seem nervous did i do something wrong?” They all looked at each other silently communicating “No we just don’t want you to get mad at us” it was really confusing why would you get mad? “I won’t promise” Luffy looks at you one more time just to make sure he brings the object in front of him and on the table it’s your book your book with everything in it. Part of you wants to get mad but you don’t “where did you find this?” “It was on the table fore you left I saw it and wondered what it was about didn’t know it was yours” Zoro states with his harms crossed looking at you “It’s okay but are any of the pages missing” you say examining every page that you could get your hands on slightly worried that some valuable information could be missing “No I made sure that nothing happened to it” Sanji blows the smoke out of his mouth “What happened?” Nami ask as she enters the room “Nothing just my books” Ussop comes behind you one of your books was open and he’s peeking at it over your shoulder “woah you wrote all of this?” you honestly didn’t think that it was a lot not enough knowledge so it wasn’t a lot. Nami comes and looks as well “Wow it really is a lot is that why your always up at night writing?” You start to feel a little bit on the spot which it doesn’t really matter that its you its just the subject “Yea but I could write more i dont feel like it’s enough” Zoro thinks to himself ‘what will be enough for her’ “Why it’s it not enough you write like your running out of time”…………
Part 2 coming soon ( i couldn’t finish my stomach hurts and it feels like i have the throw up)(update i threw up and i’m sick ass hell)
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mrs-pondwater19 · 1 year ago
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You Remind Me of Her
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Spike Spiegel x Fem Reader SMUT
Watched and finished Cowboy BeBop and thought it was pretty good. Which means it's time to write an angsty, smutty one shot. It's a really, REALLY long one so settle in. Things get a lil spicy in more ways than one but it's all good. Spike is a sweet, broken baby and he deserves all the love. Minor's this is NOT for you, please walk away. Enjoy my dears.
WARNING: 18+, Minors DNI, SPOILERS, TRIGGER WARNINGS: angst, heated conversations/arguments, smoking, talk of past traumas, slight gaslighting, STRONG mentions of past abuse, breakdown, angst to fluff, reconciliation, reassurance, soft foreplay, fingering, oral (m receiving), comfort sex (p in v), praise kink if you squint, all the lovey-dovey stuff, cum on body, cuddles.
It was supposed to be a quiet night, with Jet out looking for info on a bounty, Faye blowing all her money at the casino, and Ed and Ein on some wacky adventure of their own. You figured you'd have the Bebop to yourself and that Spike would tag along with another one of your comrades. But being the stubborn man he is, he stayed back, wanting some time to himself as well. For a good bit of the night, you both kept to yourselves, he took a cat nap, and you cleaned up the Bebop.
While you were cleaning the kitchen you thought you might try and spend some time with Spike rather than avoid him, seeing as it might come off as rude if you ignored him. After you finished cleaning you put on some comfy clothes in place of your work ones and made your way to the living space. You saw Spike was still lightly sleeping on the couch. You gently bumped his leg, jolting him awake from his dream. He furrowed his brows as he looked over to you.
"Was that really necessary?" he grumbled, annoyed that you woke him. You chuckled to yourself as you sat on the floor next to him, now being at eye level with him. Telling him he shouldn't sleep the entire day away in hopes to lighten his mood. That only seemed to make things worse though. He gave an exasperated sigh as he sat up and pulled a cigarette from his shirt pocket. He blatantly stated that he didn't want to be woken up and that he would've preferred to keep sleeping. You furrowed your brows,
"Well there's no need to be a jerk about it," you pulled yourself up from the floor. You looked at him and crossed your arms, wanting him to talk about what was bugging him, even though you never outright said it. He looked at you with bitter-cold eyes,
"Well maybe if you left me alone there wouldn't be an issue," he spat as he flicked his lighter and took a few puffs until the end burned a bright orange. You sighed heavily, your fingers gripped the sleeve of your shirt to keep yourself calm and collected,
"Im sorry if I bothered you, I just wanted to spend some time with you. Feels like its been a long time since the two of us spent any time together and just hung out you know ."
You two weren't super close, but close enough to where you'd hang out, talk, and occasionally hook up to pass the time. You both knew it would never lead to anything, but you stupidly developed feelings for the floofy-haired man anyways. You wanted to be the one to support him. But he never really showed interest in having a relationship with you, or anyone for that matter. The only time he showed any interest in anything was when his past was brought up, and especially when a certain someone was mentioned. It was those moments where he would either would open up or close off completely. And at that moment you could tell he was thinking about her and his past as he exhaled a cloud of smoke, clearly irritated with you.
"Yeah, and?" He didn't look at you when he asked. You felt the heat of anger and resentment rise in your cheeks, finding it hard to keep your composure.
"And I thought we could spend a little bit of time together, is that such a heinous request," you spat back at him.
"Whenever you want to 'spend time together' it usually means you wanna sleep with me, and im gonna pass on that." Your arms fell to your sides and clenched into fists. You took an audibly deep sigh,
"Believe it or not I don't always wanna sleep with you, sometimes I do just want to talk," you rebutted. He took another puff, and exhaled heavily, still not making eye contact with you,
"Heh, could've fooled me," he mumbled, the cigarette never leaving his lips as he spoke. You scoffed in disbelief and crossed your arms over your chest once again, scowling at him. Spike had always been a bit snarky, it seemed it was just in his nature, but the comment he made was pure spite.
"For the love of Christ what the hell is your problem?"
He adjusted to a position where he was slouching and one arm rested crossed on his thigh, while the other reached for his half-smoked cigarette,
"I already told you," he said before taking in another long, exasperated drag. You rolled your eyes at his dramatics,
"Don't give me that bullshit Spike, we both know that's not true," you bitterly spat.
You both were getting visibly frustrated at that point. Spike's leg began to lightly bounce up and down and your fingers tapped against your arms.
"Even if something was bothering me it's none of your goddamn business," he said finishing his cigarette and putting it out in the ashtray beside him.
"Spike, please, I just wanna-" you were cut off by Spike standing up abruptly, now fuming with anger in his eyes,
"Fine, since you wanna know so fuckin' badly I'll tell you! When I sleep, I'm never at peace with myself, if it's not one thing from my past it's another. Not that you would understand." He said sitting back down, defeated and frustrated. You sat next to him, hoping he would allow you to comfort him,
"I might understand it more than you think," you said as you reached for his hand, only for him to pull away.
"No, you don't understand. You don't understand what it's like to lose the one person who loved you for what you were, even though they knew you were inherently bad. You'll never know what it's like to have to just walk away from the life you knew and the people you loved and cared about. You'll never know what that's like, ever." Angered by his remark you rebutted,
"You have no right to say that whatsoever when you know very little of what my past was like. Not once have ever implied that kind of attitude towards your past and what you experienced. Do not say I don't understand, because, believe it or not I do know what it's like " you said getting up and preparing to leave the room.
"You're the one who just had to push. This is what you wanted to know, and you got what you asked for," he snapped as stepped in front of you, blocking your way to the exit.
"At least I'm not a hypocrite. How you always say that we should let our pasts stay in the past. But as soon as she's brought up that philosophy is out the window and is suddenly the only thing that fucking matters. But when it's one of us it shouldn't be bothered with and we should leave it alone and move on. Just because she keeps popping up in your dreams doesn't mean we get to put everything on hold to chase after you chasing after her," you said as you struggled to push him aside to make your way to the bathroom, but he remained still.
"At least I still care about the people in my past. I didn't just up and leave and abandon the people I loved because I wanted to. That's the difference between you and me, I was loyal to the ones I loved-" Before he could get another word in you slapped him, hard. Tears began to swell and threatened to fall from your eyes as he brought his hand to his face and attempted to rub the sting out of his cheek. But you would never let him see them, not like this.
"How dare you? You have no right to bring that up. Because you don't know the whole story of what happened. And I didn't abandon them, if we're going to bring up abandonment, Julia is a perfect example. She abandoned you, Spike, and if she really gave a damn about you she would've showed up that day and ran away with you. But she didn't. So, as you always say, let it go and move on," you said, pushing him as hard as you could, finally getting him to move aside. He stared at you in awe as you made your way to the door,
"She would've never abandoned me," he stated lightly as he reached for another cigarette.
"Could've fooled me," you replied harshly as you exited the room and made your way down the hall to the bathroom.
You slammed the door and locked it behind you, you took a deep breath as you made your way to the tub. You turned the knobs and let the water fill the porcelain vessel. Tears began to fall as the water ran, drowning out the sounds of your stifled cries. The feeling of guilt set in the pit of your stomach as memories began to flood your mind. Particularly the ones that were brought up in the argument.
You sank down in the steaming water, shuddering at the warmth that rushed through your body while pondering on the past. Tears continuing to stain your face as you wondered deeper into your thoughts.
You were part of a family at one point in time, to a home where a couple took in lost, orphaned, or abandoned children. During the early years of being there you never felt the need to run away on or be your own, you always felt incredibly safe and secure. You helped out around the house, did your chores, and got along well enough with your housemates. Until you got a little older, and then things began to change. Your father began acting differently toward you, more aggressive and irritable. And it only got worse after his wife passed away unexpectedly. He would start taking his aggression out on you and some of the of the other girls living in the home. It started off small, whether it was pushing you aside harshly or random flicks on the head to keep you in line. Then it progressed in to hitting, manhandling, and kicking while you were doing chores or playing with the other kids. It was to the point where it was everyday that the abuse took place. You and a few of your housemates were bruised, bloodied and beaten to the point of unconsciousness, while other housemates were used for more sinister acts. Anyone who fought back was either beaten senseless and kicked out, or never seen again. No matter what it was something would set him off and he would go into uncontrollable rages, and you had no choice but to take the beatings. You were young, defenseless, and had nowhere else to go, therefore you had no choice but to endure the constant abuse.
Until one day you found your out.
You were able to save back enough woolongs from odd jobs to get a one way trip off world, but you alone. Woolongs were hard to come by in the household and being able to build up what you had seemed like a miracle in itself. You planned to make your escape late into the night, after everyone was asleep, and taking only what you needed to survive.
When the time came you were quick and quiet about it. Woolongs and suitcase in hand, you quietly walked down the stairs and out the front door. You looked behind you saddened and guilt coursing through your entire bod. You wanted to bring them all with you and give them a better life. but unfortunately it just wasn't possible. Tears streamed down your face as you struggled to go forward. But you found the strength deep within you and walked away, never looking back after. The memories of your housemates flooded your mind as you made your way on the ship alone, blocking out all the sounds of the station. You found yourself a seat and watched as the ship began to take off, and you looked down on that planet for the last time.
You submerged yourself under the water, hoping it would help shake off the memories of that dreadful place. As much as you hated to admit it, you and Spike were similar when it came to your pasts, but you both reacted much differently from one another. You would find yourself entranced in fear and guilt, afraid that you made the wrong decision or that you didn't try hard enough to help yourself and those who you left behind. Remembering the abuse you endured, as well as being reminded of emotional and mental scars that were left for you to carry.
Reemerging from the lukewarm water for air, you couldn't handle the thoughts that were running rampant in your head. The quiet tears that had been falling now turned to violent sobs of anguish. You couldn't hold it in, after all the time that had passed, you couldn't find the strength hold it back anymore. It hurt to think about it, to think that you turned your back on them, even though you didn't have any other choice.
After you rode out your breakdown you finished your bath and pulled yourself up and out of the tub. Grabbing a towel you wrapped your body up and went to the sink to wash your face. Looking in the a mirror, a red, swollen, puffy eyed face looked back at you. Sighing heavily you splashed cold water on your face, hoping it would help with the redness and swelling.
After drying off and putting your clothes back on you looked at yourself again, still puffy and red. It seemed it was going to be a bit before it went back to normal.
Slipping quietly out of the bathroom you made your way across the ship to your room. You let yourself fall back onto the bed, hoping you'd just crash, and you that's exactly what you did.
...
Weeks passed since the argument between the two of you. Neither one saying much to the other during that time. You both tried your best to not think about what happened, ignoring the nagging feeling in the pit of your stomach. You were courteous when you interacted with him, which hadn't been often. Whether it was during missions or at meal time. You could tell it was bothering him though, he wanted you to say something, anything, to be angry and upset with the way he spoke to you that night. But you felt it was best to move on from it rather than bringing it back up and continue a senseless conversation.
It had been a hard day for you, you lost a bounty and Jet had been harping on you to keep up with the rest of the gang, seeing as you'd been slipping behind lately. During those weeks you spent most of your time in your room laying in bed crying, overthinking, and sleeping, so you didn't get as much training in as you should. You didn't want to cause a fuss with your shipmates thought so you kept to yourself and tried to do your best to get through your fragile state. But Jet being the kind of man he was, he could see right through you,
"I don't know what's going on between you and Spike, but you gotta figure that shit out and get your head back in the game Y/N," he said as you were traveling back to your room after returning from the failed mission. You gave him a sadden expression,
"I know, I'm sorry Jet, I just need to get some things figured out before I talk to him is all. But don't worry about me, I'll be ok, really ," you said giving him sad eyes with a forced smile. He gave you a sympathetic expression and put his metallic hand on your shoulder giving you a pat of reassurance,
"I hope so kid, if you ever need anything I'm here for ya. Just get back to being the Y/N we know and love, ok?"
You pulled him into a quick but loving hug, fighting the urge to cry,
"Thank you Jeb, you're the best." Pulling away you gave him an appreciative smile and made your way to your room, not realizing a certain someone had overheard the interaction.
...
You spent the rest of the day in your room, cleaning up and reorganizing to keep your mind busy, but when you couldn't clean or reorganize anymore you stripped down and crawled into bed. Though it was difficult, you were finally able to drift off to sleep.
There was a loud banging on your door that caused you to jolt up from your slumber, groaning in frustration you wrapped yourself in your blanket, pulled yourself out of bed, and walked to the door. A stoic Spike was waiting on the other side when you opened up,
"Hey," you said still half asleep. You looked at him groggily, he was shirtless and in a pair of light grey sweats, but you didn't pay too much attention to his attire considering the circumstances. He grunted lightly and pushed past you into your room, almost knocking you down. Sighing deeply you closed the door behind you and followed him into your room. He sat down at the foot of you bed while you walked to the head and sat, putting some distance between you both.
"It's late Spike," you said while fiddling with the blanket that clung to your body.
"Yeah, " he replied while flicking his lighter on and off. A bit of silence passed until you spoke up, your breath getting caught in your throat while asking,
"Why are you here?"
"I wanna talk," he stated in a whisper. Spike adjusted so he was now sitting cross legged on the bed and pulled a cigarette out from his pant pocket,
"You mind?" You shook your head in response, knowing it wouldn't matter if you did. Once he lit his lighter and took a puff the room began to fill with smoke, and a stoic expression fell on his face once again.
"What did you wanna talk about," you asked while turning your face the other way as to not inhale the smoke directly. He grumbled at your question, holding back what he wanted to say. It took some time, but after a few more grumbles and mutters to himself he finally spoke,
"About that night, when we argued," your head snapped back in his direction, unsure and anxious of where the conversation was headed.
"I've been thinking a lot about what was said from both of us, but mostly what I said. And even though a lot of the things that were said were true, I just wanted to say I'm sorry. I'm sorry for the things I said and how I treated you. It wasn't right of me to do that" he said gritting the cigarette between his teeth. You frowned,
"What do you mean by that?"
"What?"
"What do you mean by a lot of things that were said were true," you pried at him as you clutched the blanket. The smoke in the room was getting heavy and you began to cough, he sighed and put the cigarette out, seeing as it was clearly bothering you.
"What I mean is that some of what you said was true, like how I always run after her when I get even the slightest hint of where she is. And that whenever anything is brought it becomes the only thing that matters. It's one of those things I can't explain," he said falling back on to the bed. Your body relaxed, you looked at him as he laid there, lost in thought and an expression of confliction. You were about to speak, but he beat you to it,
"And I feel bad about what I said to you. It wasn't fair of me to assume what happened, and throwing it back in your face was wrong. I'm sorry," he said in a soft voice. His hand ran through his hair as he shuffled. He wasn't used to being this open or soft with anyone, anyone that wasn't her. Feeling you could open up to him now in this moment, you spoke calmly,
"I'm sorry too. I shouldn't have pushed as much as I did. I lost my temper and said things I shouldn't have. I just wanted you to be open with me, like you were with Julia. And when I didn't get that, I lashed out at you, at that wasn't fair of me to do. I shouldn't have expected you to be as intimate with me as you were in your past. I'm really, truly sorry Spike," you said wholeheartedly as you pat his shoulder lightly. He jumped slightly in surprise but soon relaxed into your touch. He furrowed his brows as he turned his face towards you,
"You remind me of her, you know. To the point where it hurts," he said as he placed his hand in yours.
"How so?"
"It's the little things you do. The way you handle situations so calmly and treat everyone with compassion. But mostly it's the way you look at me. You have that spark in your eyes that she had, and its like seeing a ghost that continuously lingers. I know you're not her, and I don't expect you to be. And Im not sure how to manage these feelings I have, but I'm trying to be better." He sat up and turned to face you, his hand never leaving yours. His eyes finally meeting up with yours for the first time in weeks. The soft glow from the stars flowing into your room from thewindow illuminated the uniqueness of them. Captivated by his features you found yourself at a loss for words,
"Y/N, I promise that no matter what, I'll never use what happened in your past against you ever again. And I want you to know that when you're ready, I'll be more than willing to listen to all of it," he said as he softly cupped your cheek with his free hand. A few stray tears fell down your cheeks and he gently wiped them away as you spoke,
"Thank you Spike. You don't how much that means to me. And I promise to do the same for you whenever you're ready," you whispered softly to him. The glittering his eyes from the soft light shifted in something in you, what little bit of anger you had left for him melted away. And then a new feeling bubbled up inside you, a feeling you hadn't experienced in quite a while. You felt yourself drawing closer to him, feeling a bit bold, you gave him a quick kiss on the cheek,
"Thank you again Spike," you said as you gave him an expression of gratitude. He smiled softly in response, but you could tell he was still holding something back, something strained. His hands moved from your tear stained cheeks down to your bare shoulders, his eyes hazy and a faint dusting of pink in his face. You felt the heat rising all throughout your body, and your self control depleting with each passing second. Lust overcame your better judgement and you closed the space between you with a soft kiss. It was loving, yet needy all the same as your hands slowly ran down his shoulders and to his chest. You expected him to pull back, but instead he deepened the kiss and tightly gripped your shoulders. Pulling away to take a breath, your lips flushed and slightly swollen, you felt a spur of guilt in your chest,
"I'm sorry Spike, I shouldn't have done that," you stated disappointingly as you turned away from him and took your hands off his chest. Only to be met with his hand bringing your gaze back to his,
"Do it again." His eyes dark and glassy with desire as your lips gently crashed on to his once again. You slowly fell back on to the soft mattress. You slowly snaked your arms down his back in attempts to pull him closer, his calloused hands wandering down to your waist to do the same. He gave a slight groan as the kiss got more intense and sloppy, the need for his touch coursing through your veins once his grip tightened on your waist. He pulled away with a gasp for air as he looked at you, your face red as a rose and eyes half lidded with want,
"You're so pretty," he said in a breathy whisper.
He pulled you in close and his head dipped into your neck. His hair tickled your neck as his flushed lips make contact with your sensitive skin. A shiver flowed through your body as he began to sweetly suck on the skin, holding back your moans for the sake of your shipmates. As he left them one by one down to your collarbone he lightly tugged on the blanket still wrapped tightly around you. Pushing him up and off you for just a moment so you could get into a better position, you teasingly peeled the blanket off of you, slowly revealing your flushed skin. The way the stars light fell on your naked form left Spike breathless. Though he'd seen you naked many times before, the way the light fell on you, the expression on your face, and maybe just the reassurance that you understood him in that moment made him see you in an entirely different light. You held out your arms to him, coaxing him to come back to you. His hands caressed the plush skin of your thighs as he continued to leave hickeys down your collarbone and to your chest. Your heavy breathing and stifled moans filled the small space as he began to suck on the soft flesh and slowly moved to the hardened bud. As he took your nipple in his mouth, one of his hands moved to the other and began to roll and pinch it between his nimble fingers. You yelped at the bursting sensation coming from your chest,
"Spike," you quietly moaned out to him. Gripping his hair lightly as a way to keep you grounded from losing yourself. Everytime the two of you did this you found it very easy to lose yourself in the heat of it all and fully surrender yourself to him. But this time you were reluctant to do so. Not because you were afraid, but because of what you knew. The nagging feeling in the pit of your stomach knowing were never going to be her, not matter how hard you tried to be. He would always want her, and that hurt you,
"Hey, what's wrong," he said, concern lacing his voice.
"It's nothing," you sighed lightly as you twirled his hair between your fingers. He moved his hands to your face brought your gaze to his,
"Talk to me pretty girl." You tried coming up with a plausible excuse, but he could see right through you,
"You're thinking about her aren't you?" You nodded your head and looked away from him, shame spread across your face. He smirked at you lovingly and his hand moved down in between your thighs and rubbed against your sensitive, slick nether regions. A surprised, pleasure filled moan escaped you as he spoke,
"Don't think about her Y/N, right now the only thing I want you to think about is me. Because what I'm thinking about in this moment, the only thing I care about right now, is you. I want to please you, to touch you, and make you feel loved. Shes in the past, and you're here with me, and I want it to stay that way for as long as possible," he said as his pace became more intense, pleasure surged through your body in blissful spasms. You found a sliver of comfort knowing that he wanted you as much as you wanted him in this moment, and at that point you let yourself go completely. You couldn't hold in your moans and ragged breaths as his pace became almost too much to bare. His slender fingers slowed a bit as he moved down your slit and inserted a digit in to you. You covered your mouth and moaned sinfully into your palm as he went slowly in and out of you,
"Uncover your mouth sweetheart, I wanna hear every sound you make for me" sincerity and need dripping off his tongue as he spoke. You moved your hand, but still tried to keep the volume minimal. He added another digit and his pace quickened once more. Your moans started to become more frequent as you felt your orgasm approaching steadily. He curled his fingers against your walls, earning a squeal from you,
"Spike, if you keep that up," you said pitifully in between gasps. This didn't stop him from slowing his pace though.
"I want you to cum for me pretty girl," he said sinfully as he kept up his pace. As if on cue, you clenched around his fingers and let your orgasm flow through you. The moan you let out was much louder than you would've liked, but you didn't care, you felt amazing. He pulled out of you, his fingers covered in your slick.
He wiped in on his pants before removing them hastily, revealing his painful hard cock. The tip a flushed rosy color and a bead of precum slowly dripping down. You crawled over to him and looked up into his eyes pleadingly. He gave a slight nod, his breathing hitched at the the thought of what you were about to do. You took the tip into your mouth and swirled your tongue it, tasting the salt from his precum. You teased the tip a little more, earning light groans and ragged breaths from Spike before taking him fully into your mouth. He let out a whimper as you began to take I'm entirely into your mouth and down your throat. His noises like music to your as you want painfully slow,
"Fuck, it feels so good," he groaned as he ran a hand through your hair, wanting to take control, but not giving in to his primal desires. He wanted to be gentle with you and made sure that you were as comfortable as possible. His fingers ran through your hair as you began to quicken your pace, feeling the tip of his cock lightly hitting the back of your throat. It wasn't enough to hurt you, but you definitely knew it would be something you'd feel the next day. You could feel him pulsating against your hollowed cheeks, knowing he would last too much longer if you kept this up. You found yourself in a rhythm that made him quiver and whimper everytime you took him fully, hoping you'd get him to finish as soon as you could. But, despite Spike wanting nothing more than to cum down your throat, he gently stopped you. His cock sliding out of your mouth with a pop,
"Not yet pretty girl," he said wiping away the little bit of saliva that dipped from the corner of you mouth.
He lifted you up to him and kissed you with heated passion, his tongue slipping into your mouth as he pushed you back on to the bed. His hand roamed down to your thighs and proceeded to spread them,
"You ready," he asked in a hot, breathy whisper against your ear.
"Yes Spike, please," you pleaded, your skin on flushed and sensitive as ever and your pussy aching. He slowly thrusted into you, you clenched around him as a reflex to the slight relief you felt. Both of you moaning at the initial thrust,
"Fuck," he cried out. He brought you in close and began to slowly thrust in to you once you were fully adjusted. His fingers traced circled on your shoulder blades and he placed butterfly kisses down your forehead and cheeks. Feeling him pick up the pace, your moans became more prominent and carried throughout the room. You found yourself submitting to him once more as your moans got louder and louder with each thrust, not caring who heard the two of you.
"I love the sounds you make Y/N," he groaned out. You gave an incoherent gasp in response. He brought his gaze to yours,
"You're so fucking pretty like this, taking my cock so well. You're doing amazing sweetheart," he said losing himself to your gaze. The look of pure love and lust in your eyes was nearly too much to bear for him. He always thought you were an attractive person, even before you two started doing this. But as he got to know you, he thought you were one of the prettiest people he'd ever had the pleasure of meeting. And when he first saw you writhing under him, he thought he'd met an angel. The way you shivered under his touch, the way you looked at him with your starstruck eyes, eveything about you when you two were together made him admire you even more.
"So fuckin' beautiful," he said to himself. Lost in the thought of you being with him like this. You gripped at his lower back harshly as he began to bottom you out, losing control of his rhythm. His whimpers and your moans filled the room like a symphony, he whispered sweet nothing in your ear, telling you how beautiful you were and how much he loved being with you. You felt his cock pulsing once again against your slick walls, he was close, as were you. Your moans turned into pure, sinful squealing once again and you felt another orgasm threatening to wash over you,
"Spike, I-" He cut you off before you could finish.
"I know sweetheart. Just a little longer, please" he said said kissing your forehead sweetly. He lost complete control at that point and was fixated on making you cum with him. His thrusts were sporadic and needy, and his cock harder than ever as he continued to fuck senseless. His whimpers were now rhythmatic as he finally moaned out,
"Cum for me pretty girl." You gave out a pleasure filled moan as you came all over his still thrusting cock. The clench from your swollen pussy and the now dripping slick was more than enough to push him over the edge,
"Fuucckk," he drew out in an absolute sinful whimper as he pulled out of you and let out thick spurts of hot cum all over your inner thighs and pussy.
He stroked himself a few times to get all his cum out while taking a few deep, draw out sighs of relief. He must of been holding it in for a while because it was quite a load he let out, not that you cared, you were just happy you were able to be with him. You sighed in relief as he grabbed some tissues off your nightstand and cleaned you up then in turn cleaning himself. When he finished he threw the dirty tissues away and crawled into bed with you, covering you both in the blanket and pulling you in close for a sweet, loving cuddle. You began to drift off to sleep from exhaustion when you heard him say,
"I'm happy to have someone like you Y/N, " he whispered. You turned to him and kissed his cheek as he began to drift off,
"Same here," you said as you pulled him into the crook of your neck and the two of you fell asleep soundly in one another's embrace.
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system-of-a-feather · 3 months ago
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Not even entirely sure what this ramble IS about but I do gotta share it
But the realization and awareness that I have - for at least the past like two years and increasing in frequency - been experiencing a lot of paradoxical sleep is just such a fucking interesting experience and a thing I'm DEFINITELY exploiting cause like, I've very much kind of just found a way to basically fall asleep in literally less than 2 minutes and actually go into REM stupid fast while still being conscious / lucid w/out dreaming and its so fucking wild.
But like I've been doing little self experiments of observation with it and like the other day I was like "Aight Im tired, Imma give myself fifteen minutes" and in 8 minutes got the whole fucking "cat nap" feel of shit while still being aware of like the general passage of time albeit at like 2x speed and I was in the plane today and Im like "dude I literally felt my body turn off what the fuck this is kind of fucking cool" plus also me going "Okay so I lost the ability to dissociate to take a break from existing with recovery but INSTEAD I've unlocked Sleep Hax"
Cause Im like HOLD UP
When I get REALLY deep into my thoughts and just rest my eyes and I SWEAR to GOD Im literally awake but I am OBVIOUSLY externally asleep, that is ACTUALLY sleeping and that is ACTUALLY going into REM and part of why I retain that sense of being awake is cause my brain goes into REM stupid fast
And so Im just like bro bro bro
I can go from not being able to nap in the day time to being the MASTER napper while just engaging in my deep thought?
AND THE FUNNIEST THING
IM LIKE THIS IS LIKE LUCID DREAMING WITH NO DREAMS IS THAT A THING
I LOOK IT UP
Tumblr media Tumblr media
LIKE
HELLO HOW DID BUDDHISM COME UP AT ME AGAIN
Like its NOT clear light sleep as I experience it but Im like man its like Im lucid dreaming but with no dream i wonder if that is a thing But dude like of course cause I've always made myself my own guinea pig and shit I'm just taking this weird thing about me and testing where I can go with and its fucking wild to have no dream but be "ah, I'm asleep, I should proabbly wake up in a bit" and actually like tuning into senses through the sleep like muting of it all to just keep track of time while asleep its SO weird but kinda fun
Cause I can hear everything still but I am still asleep and if I choose to actually pay attention to the muted auditory stuff I can process shit Im hearing while Im asleep and its so wild Its like my self science experiment of the past few weeks XD I do though wonder if there is a relationship between this and Buddhism cause I will say... Its timing was around when I started getting really into Buddhism and its gotten more the more I get into it so Im like... Maybe there is a side effect of doing a lot of mindfulness, observation, meditation shit hmmm Something something regular and frequent practice of simply observing and engaging in deep but present thought sets the base line for both being able to relax and quickly fall asleep while still engaging in said thought AND observation soemthing something It's something I do have to look into cause its fucking interesting And I have talked about it to my doctor and as long as I'm feeling rested in my sleep, particularly night sleep, and Im not falling asleep suddenly, its NOT a medical issue
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whovianshifts · 2 months ago
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shifting experience in a lucid dream!
(or at least i think that's what happened)
last night, i had the most insane shifting experience. i genuinely have no idea what is was - a lucid dream, maybe - but all i know is that i felt like i was right on the verge of shifting.
last night, as usual, i put on my gateway tapes - still on Focus 3 - and it was alright. i didn't really feel deep in the void or anything, and my mind wandered at times (which i think came down to the fact that i was almost putting it off a little). i usually put an alarm around 2-3 hours before i usually wake up as well so that i can attempt to shift in the mornings - mainly so that i can still practice it everyday but also to make sure that when im doing the tapes, i can purely focus on them and not worry about shifting.
so yesterday, i did the gateway tapes meditation pretty late (2-3am ish) and then put an alarm for 7am. the entire night from here got so crazy that i couldnt tell you a timeline but i am *pretty* sure that my near shifting experience happened after the alarm and between the hours of 730-930.
now, i woke up at 7am, stayed awake for like 2 minutes just shuffling around my room but my whole issue with this technique at the moment is that im sleeping wayy too late, so my shifting alarm is usually around the same time as sunrise, which is SUPER distracting as it just naturally makes me feel 10x more awake.
so basically, i got back into bed, put on some generic theta waves on spotify, attempted to shift for half an hour by going through some techniques from the gateway tapes and then just counted to 100 and repeated affirmations.
whilst im trying not to get overwhelmed by tiktok this time round in my journey, i saw this person saying that "your subconscious has no eyes," - something that genuinely cured my contempt of 'I am' affirmations. its kinda simple, your subconscious creates what it is being told, so i found it easier to accept the logic behind affirmations and the fact that it didnt just feel like a groundless practice allowed me to feel good about them for the first time in like 4 years (no exaggeration). i ended up having my usual mild symptoms of just purple/blue colours, white light seeping etc and then fell asleep, with the intention of shifting in my sleep repeating as i fell asleep.
as i mentioned, it was light outside, so i found it really difficult to sleep but, somehow, in the dredges of sleep that i did get, i kept jumping in and out of a string of *really* detailed and vivid dreams.
NOW THIS IS THE COOL PART (i logically cannot fathom how all this happened in 1-2 hours; the subconscious mind is insane)
in one of the dreams, i felt as though i was consciously awake. like i was in real life. i was lying on my bed in this dream, deciding to shift. i had a few short attempts but they werent 'working' so i told myself ill try one last time and 'it will work'. i was doing all the same things i do in real life, counting, affirming etc but this time, suddenly, i felt my body just ascending upwards and breaking through some kind of metaphysical boundary. i felt my surroundings change so fast, but it freaked me out so i snapped out of it so fast and i was back in bed again. i woke up, but somehow still in the dream, (though again, it felt so real) and then tried again but it didnt work. had i just pushed through that little bit, i just know i would've shifted and woken up somewhere else!! i wouldnt call this a lucid dream, as retrospectively, i didnt feel like i was fully in control, but it did feel like i was making decisions based on some sort of personal will.
the craziest thing was, i remember so vividly trying to fall asleep FOR AGES after my 7am alarm. again, with daylight already breaking through my blinds, i found getting back to bed SO difficult. i dont even remember falling asleep, let alone into such a deep sleep for all this to happen.
the only thing i remember is that i kept repeating 'i am in tigris snow's guest room, i am in tiggy's guest bedroom' (where i'm shifting to) over and over until i did go to sleep and just by doing that, i got so far!!
as someone who honestly doesnt like being out of control when shifting, ive always been an awake method girlie. i think this just comes with the fact that ive never fully trusted in the power of my subconscious and feel better doing it myself. but after this?? i hardly even used a method and i got so close to shifting and i still cant fathom what happened fully, just that it did and i was there.
overall, i rate this semi lucid experience a 1000/10 as it taught me the significance of so many basic shifting concepts i usually overlook, such as affirmations and 'sleep' methods, and just overall taught me to trust in my subconscious more.
so naturally, my future resolutions:
-trust in the power of affirmations
-try out more sleep methods
-learn more about lucid dreaming and whether what i experienced was one! if not, im sure im capable of getting into that state anyway so trying it out would be so cool too.
anyway, happy shifting friends
tish :)
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baby--b4t · 6 months ago
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hey pookster i’m just leaving this here because I know you’d do justice if you ever made it into a minific :3
kaveh absolutely LOVES horror/creepy things, especially when regressed, but alhaitham can’t do it. like CANNOT.
sincerely, 🐠fishie anon :3
OH MY GODS ANON YOURE SAVING MY WRITERS BLOCK RN (º̩̩́⌣º̩̩̀ʃƪ) im gonna try and write a quick minific in hopes that itll make me wanna post more and work on my bots. ALSO TY FOR THINKING SO HIGHLY OF ME- i feel like my writing is mid but ill try my best for this silly idea (its super late as of replying to this so sorry if its a bit jumbled or doesnt make sense-)
(fic under cut)
Kaveh was supposed to be in bed hours ago. 5 hours and 38 minutes, to be persice. Alhaitham had been counting. He did everything he though would work to get Kaveh to finally lay down, close his eyes, and rest, but nothing was working. Warm bottle, bedtime stories (he had read 7 different stories at this point), and even trying different stuffed animals and pajamas. Nothing. Alhaitham was exhausted.
“Hayi? Do da tree birdies sleep? Wha’ about… Oh! Wha’ about da creepy crawlies in da kitchen?” Kaveh had been asking nonsense questions like these all night, part of the reason he was still awake at nearly 4 in the morning.
“I dont know, Kaveh. What I do know-… Wait, whats in the kitchen?” Alhaitham began to answer before he registered what kaveh had said. He sat up in the bed a little bit and looked down at Kaveh. “What did you just say is in the kitchen?”
“Da creepy crawlies!” Kaveh excitedly exclaimed, a wide smile forming behind his pacifier. “Dey have 6 leg, 3 eye- BIG eyes, and are really teeny tiny. Dey walk around in da dark and eat da bread! Dats why it has all da holes.” Kaveh started giggling, his tiredness clearly showing in his speech.
Alhaitham felt puzzeled. More than when he was trying to figure out why Kaveh wasnt sleeping yet. But what was getting to him the most was the though of some spider-like creatures crawling around in his food while he didnt look. He shuddered, the thought of bugs in general making him feel gross. He rubbed up and down his arms for a moment, trying to get rid of his goosebumps, before pressing further into this. Surely it was Kaveh just being silly… Right?
“How do you know this? Who told you about these… ‘Creepy crawlers’?” Alhaitham asked as he tried to fight the tiredness in his mind. This whole talk took a turn that was not helping his already fatigued state of mind.
“Dey told me! I got mad ‘cause my sandwich had holes, and I asked and dey told me.” Kaveh explained trough slurred giggles and mumbles. “Dey very small, so is easy to make holes. I scolded dem like you always do for da holes…” The more Kaveh explained, the more Alhaitham imagined a ton of ant-sized abominations crawling around their pantry. He shook his head and tried not to gag.
“Kaveh, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but the ‘creepy crawlers’ arent real. You probably dreamt about them at some point.” Alhaitham tried to explain to Kaveh, but Kaveh didnt seem to want to believe it.
“What?!” He sat up in the bed with Alhaitham, jaw dropping and his pacifier almost falling out. “But.. But dat were so cute-“ He felt himself tearing up over the fact that the little creatures he thought were so adorable werent actually real. Alhaitham sighed, realizing that now he had to deal with a meltdown.
“How about you go to sleep so you can dream about them? Does that sound like a good idea?” He suggested as he tried to coax Kaveh into laying down again. The poor baby was so tired at this point he didnt realize that Alhaitham was moving him. It did seem to stop his oncoming waterworks, however.
Kaveh gave a small nod and snuggled back up with Alhaitham. It seemed like as soon as his head hit the pillow, he was in a deep sleep. That baffled Alhaitham. How in the world would Kaveh be so willing to dream about thousands- No, millions of little spiders in his food? If Alhaitham saw them, he would already have a match in hand to burn the house down.
However, Kavehs great big imagination never failed to impress Alhaitham. He just seemed to show it so much more whenever he regressed. A soft sigh came from Alhaitham, just accepting it. His little Kaveh would just have that sort of creepy imagination and he couldnt stop it… But he would still be checking the entire house for bugs when they woke up. No ‘creepy crawlers’ get to live rent free.
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aroace-poly-show · 7 months ago
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OK so I know it isn't a vocaloid song but I've recently been thinking... and "Little Talks" by Of Monsters and Men is a h☆w song to me...
Like. Hear me out. It's a conversation between h☆w members trying to comfort each other
(The second lines – the "replies", I'm putting them as the other hw member I feel would work the best for that, but it could be full unit or member + vocaloid too)
I don't like walking around this old and empty house
(So hold my hand, I'll walk with you my dear)
So the first line could be both Emu and Tsukasa but... if u think of the Wonder Stage as a place Emu felt at home at, and the fact that now it's old, broken, in need of repairs and, most importantly, empty. Because no-one is performing there anymore and it's abandoned and closed down. So while Emu loves this place so much, it must still pain her to be there and see the state it's at
But then h☆w come and oh. there's someone actually at her side telling her it's OK to be upset over that and are willing to be with her and comfort her and fight with her for her dream. I put this as tsks because of - as i understand it - his involvement in reclaiming the Wonder stage later and him being the one encouraging hw to try again and being there for them constantly if uou get what I mean. Like he's holding their hands and saying to keep going, I'll be here with uou to support you
The stairs creak as you sleep, it's keeping me awake
(It's the house telling you to close your eyes)
Hngnhhh imagine if tsukasa, aside from the normal hw night activities, has trouble falling asleep if he hears any noises at the house at night becsuse he instantly feels this anxiety rise up in him that Something happened again and that in a second he'll hear rushed steps and painful breaths and it'll be another late night hospital visit and–
Also smth about the house being so quiet u can hear these sounds and that making him feel like he's alone bc it's so silent
But then he's reassured and reminded that. It's okay now. He's not alone and there's nothing wrong (and also to take care of himself and get enough sleep hshfh) I like to imagine this line as emu because she seems like the type who would say something so sweet and also whimsical like "it's the house's lullaby!" about the creaking or smth if she ever hears him maybe complain about it on call or something
And some days I can't even dress myself
It's killing me to see you this way
OIYHHH HW RUINENE.... Nene struggling with her appearance (I imagine she has trouble looking in the mirror sometimes... especially with the hair and all... maybe its unbrushed often because she doesn't want to think about it...)
And also her being so demotivated and with so much anxiety that she switched to homeschooling and sometimes just having the same clothes for days, maybe even not dressing up at all, staying at home all day because she's too scared of going out and meeting people and being judged... especially during the worst days
And oh rui who's been there for her the whole time and who sees all this and there's nothing that pains him more than seeing his best friend like this and who doesn't know how to help much and just wishes so much he could do something to comfort and help her out yknow...
'Cause though the truth may vary
This ship will carry our bodies safe to shore
This is just. All of hw. They're each others' safe space and they carry and support each other when one isn't strong enough to handle their struggles and no matter what might happen, this one fact doesn't change
There's an old voice in my head that's holding me back
Well, tell her that I miss our little talks
AND THEN RUI with his whole villanising himself because of all the rumours about him and what everyone around calls him, thinks about him that's made him give up shows because he's so scared of hurting someone else (im looking at u hw wonder halloween), so scared of dragging others into his mess, so scared of someone being treated wrong just because they're with him. Again. And he can't help this thinking and it's just completely freezing him
And again Nene. Who's also been there the whole time. Who remembers putting on shows together as kids and how happy they both used to be, how free rui was about his inventions and ideas, how fun it was just to talk and discuss their little plays and how she misses that. How she misses that Rui. But still she feels so guilty bc she blames herself for how he is toox and yet also wants to help him so so much too
Soon it will be over and buried with our past
HNNG.... WONDER STAGE... EMUS DREAMS AND HER GRANDPAS BASICSLLY BEING LEFT BEHIND WITH IT SHUTTINF DOWN...
We used to play outside when we were young
And full of life and full of love
Again ruinene kind of... looking back on how free and unbothered and they used to be in the past but how hard and empty it is now...and how much closer they were but now there's this rift between them because of this guilt they share and self depreciation and thinking they're at fault for everything and oughdhjh....
Also something about Tsukasa's dream – and himself tbh – being more "full of life & love" when he was younger bc he remembered the reason for his purpose. And his acting being more to play and make others happy than about not failing another audition and finally succeeding and being famous. And so he was more sincerely determined. And because he didn't experience all that failure yet so he was brighter. He didn't have all those darker thoughts and broken hopes and deeply etched loneliness making him unwilling to let himself open up about his struggles and let himself be loved too
Like he's still his enthusiastic self but. It's not the same as when he was younger. Am I making sense
Some days I don't know if I am wrong or right
Your mind is playing tricks on you, my dear
I honestly can't decide
It could be. And this is the most fitting to me? Emu with the Wonder stage worrying if she's even right for trying to fight for it and grandpa's dream becsuse that's "not right for the business" and "stupid" and "childish" and all but then hw joining her and making her realise its not just OK, it's worth it
It could be tsukasa with his dream? And the whole "u don't have what it takes to be a star" thing making him doubt himself and if he's even right for this and what else is his purpose even and was he wrong for fighting for all of this. And then rui woukd be replying bc of whatever the ruikasa scene ure planning for main story is
Could also be ruinene and their whole thinking they don't deserve the other and were they even right to do what they did foe the other in thr past? Nene agonising over inviting rui to that troupe which ended terribly and he was just ostracised more, rui over "rubbing off" his bad reputation on nene and ruining her relationship with the troupe bc he tried to protect her. Yknow. And idk how u plan for them to deal with all that but I'm guessing emukasa somehow help so they could be the reply. Or they could be replying to each other really bc they both feel guilty but also both try to reassure the other they did nothing wrong
The chorus is mostly vibes and could be sang by all of them but
Don't listen to a word I say (Hey)
The screams all sound the same (Hey)
These are just. ALL OF THEM being Physically Unable To Talk About Their Issues and brushing off the concern of others and thinking the others have it worse and they don't need help and everything. I hate them so much
But then
Though the truth may vary
This ship will carry our bodies safe to shore (hey, hey)
Already covered this but. Even despite everything they're still trying to support each other however they can and slowly helping others and also letting themselves open up and accept help
You're gone, gone, gone away, I watched you disappear
All that's left is a ghost of you
EMU 👏 AND 👏 HER 👏 UNPROCESSED 👏 GRIEF 👏 and pxl and the Wonder stage being the only thing that's left of her grandpa but all that still being taken away from her and on its way to disappear too. Like a ghost she can't touch or feel and almost doesn't feel real bc of how it's almost dead
Now we're torn, torn, torn apart, there's nothing we can do
Just let me go, we'll meet again soon
Just. Ruinene. And their screwed up relationship. And both thinking it can never rly be fixed bc they'll always feel too guilty themselves and like they'll just ruin it again bc they don't deserve the other and HNNDNFJKFOUTGHHJJFJHH
But still the last line makes me think like. That they'll "meet" again soon with like. Their true feelings. They'll face each other with what they really feel and learn how to mend it all and they'll focus a bit on themselves too. Learn to also let go of the other a little bit to also think about themselves and what they need too yknow. Am I making sense
Now wait, wait, wait for me, please hang around
TSUKASA. Tsukasa who hasn't given up on his dream as the last one. Tsukass who hopes to tell them "don't give up on your dreams yet", tsukasa whos trying to say "if you wait I'll show you it can be done" but he needs time, he just needs to succeed for once, so please hang around and I'll show you and give you your hope and dreams back (also again smth about not wanting to be left alone. "Please wait for me (don't leave)" even when he fails again and again even though they dont know that)
I'll see you when I fall asleep
This isnt anything special really its just. Hw meeting at night HAHDHAH... maybe it could work for their sekai too as a metaphor or smth...??? but anyway basically just that. They all sing it
Then the chorus just repeats and I already talked about it so... yeah...
That's it hdhshd it's been on my mind a lot I love this song and it's just so comforting when u think about hw... them all supporting each other....
I love your au so much thank uou for making it sorry for the long ass ask HASHH
i am going to explode /pos KERI THIS IS SO GOODDDD URBEDBAHBDBANA i dont have like. additions here really. this is great ty. although. something abt the “now wait wait wait for me please hang around” line and hw being Abandonment Issues: The Unit JNFKSNDKANJDJWK
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rowanaelinn · 2 years ago
Text
Wires - Chapter Ten
Hey everyone! Im so sorry for the wait. It’s a very short chapter, but it’s an important one! My inspiration for this story isn’t great, i’m very sorry for this. I hope you will enjoy it :)
Warnings: Mention of death | Word Count: 1,600
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Even stuck in the world between dreams and real life, Aelin knew something was strange. She felt warm, and not in the way one did when they were comfortably wrapping blankets. No, as she woke up slowly, she felt arms around her. But even as the real world started to catch up to her, she realized that she wasn’t only wrapped up in blankets. Her face wasn’t resting on a pillow, but on something warm and hard.
Her eyes opened, and it took a few seconds to realize where she was. On whose chest her head was resting. Her head snapped up, taking in Rowan’s face. He was awake, his arms wrapped around her body and his eyes on her.
Shit.
This wasn’t a sight she had beheld in years. In their younger years, on the nights they happened to share a bed, they had always found each other in the night. They woke up that way, tangled into each other. Then, it had been a comfort. She’d always pretended to sleep a little longer, if only to enjoy his embrace for longer.
But today, it didn’t feel comforting.
Well, that was a lie. It did feel comforting, but she also felt a rush of anxiety course through her veins. She sat up, passing a hand over her face and through her hair.
“Aelin,” Rowan’s voice was deep, which meant he hadn’t woken up too long ago. He reached for her, a hand on her waist. “Are you alright?”
Was she?
She had told him yesterday. Told him about everything. He knew now. Knew about the accident, about her leg. About his own cousin. He knew the darkest stains on her soul, the way she had wished Rowan would have been hurt with her if only it meant she wouldn’t be alone. He knew the truth about what happened a few weeks ago, on how she had wanted those pills and alcohol to guide her into the afterworld.
He knew everything she had spent years hiding from the world, he knew the image she had built was false. And he was still here. He hadn’t run away, hadn’t left.
She looked behind her, at the man who had once meant everything to her, only to find herself hating him after. And now… Now, she had no idea where she stood. But she didn’t push his hand away, didn’t push him away as he sat behind her, not as he tentatively placed a hand on her shoulder. “Are you alright?” He asked again.
“Why are you here?” She dared to ask.
“Usually when I’m in a bed it’s to sleep, though other times--”
She slapped his shoulder, “I can’t believe you just made that joke!” She could help it, she laughed. His face light up as he laughed too, shaking his head.
“It was just so easy.”
She rolled her eyes, her smile still spread on her face. She looked down at her hands for a second, before asking more seriously, “But why are you here? Why did you stay?”
His eyebrows furrowed for a second, and he looked down at where her nails picked on her skin. “Why shouldn’t I?”
“Because you hated me yesterday.”
“Yesterday I lacked information. I didn’t know everything.”
She bit on her lip, “So you’re here by pity, is that it?”
He leaned back, the frown deep on his face. “Don’t put words in my mouth, and don’t look for a fight.”
She pulled back, “That’s not what I’m doing.”
He sighed, eyes closing for a second before he said, “It scares me, too. To have you so close to me again. I know we haven’t… agreed on everything.” On whose fault the accident was, that was what he meant. “And I know it’s easier to avoid change but this isn’t happening today or in the days after. Aelin, there is no going back.”
She looked away, “What if I don’t want things to change?”
“You rather hate me?” She could feel the way his voice slightly quivered, feel the hurt behind it.
Did she? These past few days, hell, these past few months she had no idea what she truly felt. “I think it’s easier.”
He took it in, thinking and then asked, “But is it better for you?”
She knew she couldn’t lie. Not anymore. And even then, she had been good at lying to him. She shook her head. No, it wasn’t better for her.
A ragged breath escaped him, and he said, “I missed you, Aelin. So much. It was hard these past few years.”
She looked at him, at the vulnerability showing on the features she was so used to see hard. She swallowed and linked their hands together. “You said it. There’s no going back now.”
He smiled at her then. It was tentative, and yet sincere. “I’ll never let you go again.”
She hoped he wouldn’t, while at the same time hoping he would. Wouldn’t it be easier to hate him? Rather than to face all these strange feelings twisting her stomach?
But… She wouldn’t push him away. She would let him stay, and if he messed up… Then it’d be done. For good.
The thought was scary and overwhelming because��
---
“I fucked up,” she gasped the second her cousin opened the door. He was barely awake, his eyes not fully opened. Until she said those two words. Then, his eyes widened. She pushed him to enter the bedroom, only to find Lysandra barely awake as well on their bed. Though, Aelin hated her a little. Who the hell looked that good when waking up? Life was unfair.
“What did you ta—"
“He’s fucking back in my life,” she said, looking at him and allowing him to glimpse at her insecurities and fear.
“Rowan?” Lysandra gasped, shock and surprise in her voice as well as on her face. As if it was obvious Rowan was the only person who could make her feel that way. Maybe he was.
Aelin nodded, staring to bite on her nails until Aedion grabbed her wrist and pulled her hands away. He sat on the couch facing the bed. “Explain.”
She took a deep breath and nodded. “Yesterday… I was sleeping and he knocked on my door. He was so fucking drunk, and his room was too far for me to walk him there… I helped him, and then he saw my leg.”
“Fuck,” Aedion breathed.
“What happened?” Lysandra asked.
She looked at her friend then, and tears started to pool in her eyes. “I told him about the accident, even things I’d never… I couldn’t say those things to anyone, and yet I told them to him. Then I told him about the night you found me,” she told Aedion, and hurt flashed in his eyes. And then, he cried with me. And now, he doesn’t want to let me go anymore.”
The couple shared a look Aelin couldn’t decipher.
“How do you feel?” Aedion asked her, as if that was what mattered then.
But then, maybe it did.
She shrugged, “I don’t know. I’m afraid and fucking excited, too.”
Lysandra smiled and stood, coming to stand on Aelin’s other side. She grabbed her hand, the gesture of a friend trying to help ease her anxiety. “I think it’s a good thing,” she said with deliberate carefulness.
Aelin snapped her head toward her. Lysandra had never met Rowan, but she’d heard the little stories Aelin had told her. And Aedion himself had a rivalry going on with Rowan, as well as an explosive past because of their family. Lysandra had never been the Whitethorn’s biggest fans according to those stories. And things hadn’t changed. Rowan’s dad had… He had ruined it all. “What?”
Lysandra threw a look at Aedion and then returned her gaze on Aelin. “Alright, nobody else will say it so I will. You’re a mess, Aelin,” she said with gentleness, as if she wasn’t criticizing her. “But lately… It’s been worse. And we,” another look toward Aedion. “Noticed that it usually happened when he’s around, you know? Aelin… I didn’t know you back then, but your cousin did and from everything that he’s told me,” she took a deep breath, squeezing Aelin’s hand again. “You loved him. Maybe you still do, least of all as friends. What happened that night was tragic, but whosever fault it was, it’s neither yours nor Rowan’s.”
Aelin tried to not show any reaction at that word. Love. Because it wasn’t what she’d felt for Rowan as a teenager, at least not in the romantic sense of it. It’d been too different from what she’d felt for Chaol and her other former boyfriends for it to be love.
Aedion straightened beside her, as if he disliked the sound of this as much as she did.
Lysandra kept going. “You two have been punishing each other for years over something that affected you, but wasn’t caused by you. You were deeply hurt, and it was normal for you to react that way but… It’s been years, Aelin. Now, it’s time to heal.”
She shook her head, tears burning in her eyes. Then, one escaped as she said, “You don’t get it.”
“Tell us, then,” Aedion asked, a hand on her knee.
“I’d be betraying dad if I went back to a Whitethorn.”
“No,” Aedion said, stopping her immediately from keeping on going. “You think that if uncle Rhoe woke up today and saw you high and drunk and angry and fucking suicidal he’d be happy? He wouldn’t give a shit of who you spend your time with, as long as his little daughter is happy. And you’re not. I’ve tried to help you, but I can’t… But if he can make you happy, even if I still hate the prick, run for it. You deserve it.”
Tears were streaming down her face and she hugged him. And he hugged her back. When she pulled away, she looked at the both of them and asked for confirmation, although she had known that from the moment she woke up in Rowan’s arms again, “It’s a good thing, then, right?”
Lysandra smiled. “It’s a good thing, Lin. That night didn’t have to take that from you.”
••••••
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