#I know this doesn’t make any sense without context but whatever. pretty

[rynli]

Another scene from a few years ago. I really like how the shattering effect came out

[the-valiant-valkyrie]

audrey redheart wandersong drives me so insane it’s sickening. i make myself sick thinking about that freak. and i could talk about the obvious stuff- like how she wanted to be a hero to be revered and by the end of the game no one even thinks about her anymore- but i’m going deeper than that.

audrey was a bad hero. not because she’s immoral (even though she is) and not because she’s self centered (even though she is). but she straight up does not have the necessary skills for the task at hand.

audrey can’t speak the shapes-and-colors language of the overseers. granted, kiwi couldn’t either, at first, but that was easily resolved by an overseer, and eyala probably could have done the same thing, too. miriam canonically studied and learned the language just like anyone else would learn any other language.

but audrey doesn’t know it. whatever the overseers say is just colorful nonsense to her… you would think it would be pretty helpful to a heroic quest to be able to understand the language of your opponents.

but if you’re not supposed to know what you’re doing, it makes sense not to be able to glean any context from the ‘monsters’ you’re killing, doesn’t it?

audrey’s meant to be a high society big shot, but she can’t even recognize what a potion of power is supposed to look like?

kiwi sees her as a cold blooded killer, but when she’s deprived of her sword, she can’t even improvise?

audrey skips over overseers (like going to the queen of winds after chapter 3, when for all intents and purposes it’d be easier to do them in the same order kiwi’s doing them in), and the more you think about it, it really does seem like she was barred from encountering the overseers at all until kiwi freed up the nexus point first.

if audrey was a hero- The Hero- shouldn’t she have been able to do that herself??

audrey isn’t a hero. or, at least, she wasn’t chosen to be a hero. because if a hero was chosen, things wouldn’t have gone to plan. they would have stopped.

audrey didn’t have to be a hero. she just had to be isolated, cynical, desperate for attention, and obedient enough to follow orders without asking questions.

[skythealmighty]

Wheel, the Paranoid: An in-depth scene-by-scene character analysis

"We aren't so much angry as very, very worried." - The School of Life

TL;DR: Wheel is not as mean or as angry as he seems on the surface; in fact, he's decently logical, but also paranoid and often worried about things everyone else brushes off! He covers up his fear with anger, and doesn't actually hate anyone (though he does have a sort of rivalry with WWFT). He also has a penchant for fairness in most things, doesn't like killing, and probably feels guilty over Felt Container's elimination. Most importantly though, he's distrusted Clock since the beginning, holding firm in his belief that something about this was very off- and unfortunately for him, was only proven right after he was eliminated. All in all, he's a very interesting character overall, not just because of his elimination scene!

FAIR WARNING: The full analysis below the cut is over four thousand words. There's no content warnings, but it's very, very long without any pictures. Have fun lol

IT’S TIME FOR THE [1:00] - Who’s Jason??

1:30 - “I’m having a weird feeling about today, a feeling that… something’s going to happen. Something bad’s going to happen!”

Note the panicked expression, and the worried expression that follows when Felt Container brushes him off. His first instinct is to look at the sky, too- maybe that’s paranoia, but he was the first one to notice Clock. And sure, he’s a bit mean about it, but it feels like he’s genuinely trying to warn Felt Container about whatever’s coming.

1:59 - “AHHHH! WHAT IS THAT!”

Probably the most reasonable reaction to a being like Clock appearing out of nowhere. He also seems to try and maybe scare Clock away? 

2:11 - “WHO ARE YOU?!” “Ha! Hi. My name is C.L.O.C.K.: Thing That You Tell The Time ohhh wait my name is not an acronym.” “WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM US?”

Figuring out motives. He clearly doesn’t trust Clock immediately (good, but also furthers my earlier maybe-point about paranoia). Notice how he says “us” and not “me”, meaning he’s saying this for everyone (whether they would think to or not).

2:28 - “Okay, I’m in!” and 2:47 

In both of these instances, he’s the only one with a different expression from the rest. Narrowed eyebrows at the premise of a competition show (2:28), and disbelief (negative) at the prize (2:47). I don’t think he went “WOOOHOOOO” with everyone else- and he still clearly doesn’t trust Clock. Not yet.

3:06 - [The whole sequence leading up to the first intro]

I feel bad for him here; he looks genuinely afraid, especially when he gets closer to the ground. He still looks angry, but- well, he’s definitely more afraid than properly angry.

4:45 - “Dang, if only you were like a street lamp or crossing signal or something, would have had a cool team name idea for that.”

While No Way and 57 Ball are occupied with that conversation, Wheel looks offscreen. There’s no way of knowing where he’s looking, but from context clues, it would make a lot of sense if he was keeping an eye on Clock, given his immediate reaction to them. He only actually talks when it’s almost the very end of the time, and… it’s a BFB reference. I don’t know if this was a conscious decision by Wheel or just a reference for reference's sake, but it feels like he pulled the first thing that came to mind to pretend he was participating. (The nervous tone makes me think that he could be afraid of Clock doing something to him for not saying anything.)

6:47 - [Wheel pacing]

Okay, he says he’s doing the challenge here, but he’s more likely just panicking and saying he’s doing the challenge to cover that up. 

8:36 - “Team Earth! Where is your card?” “I KICKED IT!” “He kicked it.”

I’m probably reading into this way too much, but when he’s shaking (or vibrating intensely), it’s pretty clear that he really REALLY does NOT like Clock. (Either that or he’s hiding fear with anger.)

9:35 - “NOOO! That’s not fair, I demand that you host a second challenge, so that we can RIGHTFULLY see who-”

On the surface, this sounds like bratty whining, or nitpicking, but with the context of future episodes this could easily be read as Wheel being afraid of being UFE. After all, a wheel is random, and his team could be picked, even if they did the challenge. (This could also be read as proof for him actually caring a lot about fairness- more on that later.)

IT’S TIME FOR THE [2:00] - Best Source For Weather Information

0:30 - “I’m already out man… anyways, it says next up is Words With Friends Tile.” “LET’S GOOO!” “Wait a minute. H- HE DOESN’T HAVE ANY EYEESS!”

Very small and unserious moment, but another point to the “Wheel caring about fairness” chart. Someone without eyes could very easily win a staring contest, after all. (Of course then he gets into a fight with WWFT, but from the cartoon SFX and the blank stares afterward, this is probably lighthearted and maybe even a common occurrence.)

1:33 - “Yes!! I can’t wait to beat ALL OF YOU IN THE NEXT CHALLENGE!”

This sounds like a brag or a taunt (and in part it probably is), but after seeing this scene multiple times his expression seems over-dramatized… is that the word I’m looking for? Exaggerated. It’s likely he doesn’t actually mean it. (And then the intro sequence happens and he sounds equal parts nervous and annoyed at being picked up. It’s probably less surprising the second time.)

3:48 - “THERE’S NO MORE TEAMS! There’s no more teams!”

Unimportant detail but Wheel is glaring a bit at WWFT and then in the next scene glaring at him even harder (and vibrating in anger), probably because of the fight earlier. Silly little thing I wanna point out!

4:39 - “This doesn’t seem very fair…” “Sure it is!” “Oh okay!” “What.” “Well it ISN’T fair!! None of us even know how to DO the challenge!”

Another point for Wheel caring about fairness! Even when No Way blindly accepts Clock’s response to No Way’s point, Wheel challenges it in his friend’s (?) stead, and then points out another unfair aspect right afterwards. Of course, after his nitpick is fixed, he declares himself hyped for the challenge- this I believe easily, though, since he seems like the athletic type and likely finds this sort of thing cool.

5:15 - [Wheel, 57 Ball and Refill Station doing the challenge]

More proof to Wheel caring about rules- he doesn’t react to Refill Station at all, but he glares at 57 Ball when he sees him rolling on the rail instead of grinding with a board like the rest of them. 

7:14 - “Whuh!? One spot left??” [Vase shatters] “OUT OF MY WAY! HUFF HUFF HUFFF HUFF HUUAGHH I’m gonna make it!!” [Portal appears] “Huh?” “Yes! I’m out!” “WATCH OUT!”

Important moment, in my perspective. It furthers my theory of him being afraid of being UFE, since immediately after Clock mentions there’s only one spot left, he rushes forward recklessly enough to injure Vase. I’m not exactly sure if he really meant to do that, though, because he tries to warn Green before a scenario that’s sure to (and did) kill him. That’s his first kill, actually, if I remember correctly- despite him seeming mean, it’s clear he’s not the antagonist he pretends he is.

IT’S TIME FOR THE [3:00] - Next

0:58 - “Welcome back Pool Ball, Orange and Tire-” “DON’T CALL ME THAT!” “Okay!” “Wait last ti- huhhh???” “We lost the challenge, genius, I’m getting pretty used to this already.” “YOU… you’re the reason I LOST THE CHA-”

It’s not just me, right? Wheel seems extremely high-strung here- yelling immediately after only one minor button was pressed (Clock using the wrong name). From experience with my brother, I can see this being caused by one of two reasons- either he’s overwhelmed, or he’s guilty… or both. After all, he’s up for elimination, and he just accidentally killed someone. He actually seems to be mildly shocked at Green until Green snarks at him, which is when he snaps at him and accuses him of making him lose. I don’t think he actually blames Green- this feels more like a knee-jerk reaction.

1:20 - “GO AHEAD, DO IT!! JUST DO IT ALR-”

He’s definitely used to the intro sequence and hates it, but this feels like a massive overreaction- adding to my theory of him being on edge. He snaps at Green with a threat when he slams him into the ground a few times (maybe as revenge for Wheel killing him) and laughs at him, probably because Green is exacerbating the situation and adding to his stress.

2:11 - “Luck?? LUCK? I DON’T NEED LUCK!”

If I could guess what he would say next, it would be: “I NEED TO BE SAFE!” Uh… that’s my only comment for this bit, other than yep, I still think he’s tense.

3:09 - “You almost killed me, how did you get so many votes?!” “And I’ll do it again if it means people like me!!”

To be blunt, this feels almost like a confession. I don’t think he’s talking about his fellow contestants here, he’s talking about the voters- he needs their favoritism to be safe from elimination, and he’s willing to go pretty far for that. The game is picking up, the stakes are getting higher, and things are getting more intense. I don’t think he dislikes Vase or has anything against her, he’s just being honest. He also seems to be getting more into the game now, his competitive nature arising- despite his distrust towards Clock, he’s far more willing to play their game now that he’s won a few challenges.

5:31 - [Wheel getting water from Refill Station, then getting scared by Clock] “Water bubbler is NOT allowed, that’d be way too easy!” “Wait, what’d you just call me??” “You just SAID ‘get you a cup of water’.” “Yeah, it’s supposed to be a challenge, go on and-” “Hey, I have a cup of water for you Clock.” “...YES!!”

This is a long quote, but all of it is needed for the context. Wheel is taking the easy route here, rushing ahead of everyone else to do so before they think of it- he cares about fairness, but at the time of him getting the water, Clock hadn’t said it was against the rules yet. He’s sort of exploiting a loophole- which fits his admission earlier about being willing to do whatever to keep the audience on his side, just in this case pertaining to his willingness to take the easy route so he can be safe as fast as possible. (Also, his confident “heh, too easy” afterwards feels to me more like an expression of relief than a brag, but it is kind of both.)

6:12 - “Are you sure? It seems like people are already on their way to that lake over there, we gotta be quick.”

Wheel only has a very short (and easily missable) appearance here, but even though he’s safe, he’s keeping an eye on the game rather than relaxing elsewhere. This will be brought up soon.

6:48 - “I’ll be taking this!!”

Honestly, this whole sequence confused me a lot at first, kind of contradicting most of the assumptions I made about Wheel from 1:00 and 2:00. After a lot of consideration, though, I think I’ve come to a reasonable enough theory: he could have made this decision by taking inspiration from Snowball, who he’s quoted before and kind of tries to take after in terms of gameplay. After all, Snowball made it surprisingly far acting this way, and he does not want to be eliminated. This theory depends on whether or not BFDI as a franchise exists in ITFT’s world, though. (There are other theories I have, but they don’t hold a lot of water. This scene still kind of confuses me.)

IT’S TIME FOR THE [4:00] - Do NOT Use The Popcorn Button

1:02 - [Wheel revived] “...youuu don’t have anything to say this time?” [ `,:[ ] “Hm…”

It’s official, he’s used to (and REALLY tired of) the intro sequence. Also, the last few times he actually said anything before the intro, it didn’t exactly help his case, so he might as well just let it happen. He’s definitely not happy about it, though.

1:39 - “One two three four… I thought I put four of you up for elimination this time!”

His expressions here… sorry I don’t have anything to say it’s just. Boy why you so ò៱ó

1:59 - “I shouldn’t BE HERE, I didn’t even lose the last challenge!!” “Why don’t you just… leave then?” “You don’t WANT me here?” “No! No, I didn’t say tha-”

This feels like half catastrophizing and half playing into the Snowball role (as per my earlier theory). He doesn’t want to be at the elimination area, but he doesn’t want to be told to go away, either. Furthermore, I think his frustration here was aimed at Clock, not any of the others, but he had a knee-jerk reaction when No Way interrupted what might have turned out to be a rant.

2:07 - “You’re a loser brah-” “YOU’RE A LOSERRrrrr for the sake of my safety, I will try to use, nicer words.” “...okay?” [PUNT]

I’m not exactly sure how much beef Wheel has with WWFT, but it definitely feels like an ongoing thing- maybe a rivalry or something similar. He was very quick to fight him even before he started acting meaner, after all- and that at least explains him punting WWFT. As for the “for the sake of my safety” part, after a second glance, it’s likely he means safety during elimination, seeing as he looks directly at the camera (fourth wall?) right after he says this. (It seems, to me, that he already assumes he’s going to be up for elimination, and in danger because of this.)

3:54 - “Wellllll next safe is Wheel!! With 0 votes!” “...you’re… serious..?”

Okay this isn’t important at all but it’s really silly. I just wanted to put it here

4:02 - “NO! Let me do the rest of them, you don’t know what you’re doing!”

The thing about this is, he’s right. I have no way of knowing if he’s just trying to insult Clock here or something else, but I feel like this has a double meaning. Clock doesn’t know what they’re doing, and Wheel is aware of this- possibly because of previous eliminations- and his point is proven later by Clock quite literally admitting they don’t know what happens with the eliminated contestants as Green is turned into a radio. (Also, him calling WWFT “Words With STUPID Tile” is pretty funny, and a point towards the two of them having some sort of rivalry?)

5:18 - “Wheel, I think you permanently killed Polka Dot.” “Okayy, wasn’t me- no, really! It was Vase!”

Part of this feels like him defending himself in front of the viewers (plus it almost looks like he’s looking at the camera at 5:23), and the other part feels like he’s defending himself to everyone else, particularly No Way, maybe because the two of them have so far a neutral/positive relationship. Besides, he’s right- Vase was the one who had the idea for the Sun to shoot fireballs at Wheel and the cloud, even if Wheel did cause the cloud thing in the first place. He’s not the one who killed everyone through that.

6:00 - “Here are your teams for this challenge! And only this challenge!!” “Wow, uneven teams again? Huh.”

Another point for Wheel and WWFT having a rivalry- as soon as it’s confirmed that they’re on the same team, Wheel glares at WWFT with balled fists. Also, unlike in [1:00], Wheel no longer has an angry expression in the zoom-out- he does look mildly upset, but it’s more like he’s resigned, almost. He’s getting used to the game and Clock.

6:13 - “Can we name our teams??” “NO!” [ :( ] “...whatever, fine-”

I’m not sure exactly why he immediately says “no” (it could be for a multitude of reasons- playing into the Snowball act, or maybe it’s because he’s aware that the teams will only last for one episode), but the backtracking after Refill Station looks sad doesn’t feel as begrudging as it might seem- he plays the mean act, but he clearly feels a little bad about making RF sad. (I hate to compare this to the tsundere trope but honestly… this is a very tsundere thing to do. You know I’m right.)

6:44 - “WHAT IS THAT?!” “Yo, I think that’s Polka Dot!” “Oh hello Polka Dot!!” “Chill, chill, wait waitwaitwaitwaAAAAAAAAA-”

It’s the exact same panic that Wheel had upon Clock suddenly appearing, down to the words! The difference is, he doesn’t seem to try and hide that panic here, expression genuinely afraid as he looks between WWFT and Refill Station (neither of whom are panicking), and his default angry expression (the same one when he was dropped before the first intro) only returns when the polka dot void starts to spin them around. Once again, he’s worried when no one else is, just like in [1:00]. (It almost feels like his panic is exaserbated by the fact that he’s the only one panicking- they should be worried, why are they just accepting this?)

6:54 - “Come on guys, do the challenge!” “DON’T YOU THINK WE SHOULD SORT THIS OUT?!” “Nooo, no it’s fine!” “!lennahc eht egnahC !lennahc eht egnahC !LENNAHC EHT EGNAHC” “Actually, nevermind, uhh… yeah, let’s… let’s do the challenge. GO!”

Proving my last point, he immediately points out that yeah, maybe they should do something about the weird thing that just appeared; looking frustrated when Refill Station brushes him off, similar to when Felt Container brushed him off in [1:00]. He’s not so much angry as he is worried and frustrated that nobody seems to be validating his worry. However, when the polka dot void starts acting weird and speaking in reverse, he begins to look afraid again and starts trying to get Refill Station away from it. Though he’s clearly still a bit upset that no one’s doing anything about it, he realizes that it’s dangerous and then tries to protect himself (and others) by picking his battles and getting his current teammate away from the danger. Once again, it’s clear he’s not the antagonist he sometimes pretends to be- why would he do this if he didn’t care?

7:37 - “I mean we have so many loaves of bread, we could just mash all of em together into a nice bread structure, what do you guys think?” “Yeah!” “SIIIKE! AHAHAHAHA-”

This daydream seems kind of significant to me because of the people he’s thinking of in it- Polka Dot, Green, and Felt Container. Polka Dot is currently missing, and he was just recently accused of permanently killing her (also, the polka dot void could have reminded him of her); Green is someone he accidentally killed in [2:00], despite him trying to warn him; and finally, Felt Container is the first person he went to when he felt that something was off in [1:00], and who was eliminated the next episode. Given the pattern of Polka Dot and Green being people he had a hand in killing, this could mean he feels he’s at fault for Felt Container being eliminated and assumedly killed. (In fact, he could have even seen that elimination, but there’s no way of knowing if he did or didn’t.) Something, something, survivor’s guilt…

8:39 - “Oh, it’s you again. You trying to steal our idea??? Huh?? HM?!” “Bro, chill out. It’s literally Polka Dot.” “Oh YEAH?? Well, can you explain what THIS is??”

First, he doesn’t seem particularly enthused that they’re all back by the polka dot void, especially since earlier he was trying to get Refill Station away from it. Him ‘accusing’ the polka dot void feels kind of just like a silly joke, but it could also be him proving he’s not afraid of it or something- either way, though, he clearly doesn’t believe that it’s Polka Dot. (He also looks afraid/shocked when Polka Dot shows up in the thought bubble, a similar shock to when he first saw Green after he died. Just pointing that out.)

9:11 - “GUYS! I figured out what we can do!! We can combine all of our ideas!”

It feels like he’s somewhat abandoned the Snowball route by now- and also, he looks almost genuinely excited (or maybe proud) when he suggests this. Maybe he’s just excited that he’s sure his idea will win them the challenge, but to me it feels like he’s happy he realized a solution that could include all of the team. (He definitely cares.)

10:10 - “Didn’t you say this WASN’T a cooking challenge?” “This is nowww a cooking challenge!” 

Yet another point to Wheel caring about fairness- he immediately points out Clock contradicting what they said about the challenge when it was announced, because it now suddenly being a cooking challenge is unfair.

10:38 - “TRUST me Clock! I’ve had it, it’s very good. Yep! …ehh, actually, that can stay right there.”

He’s hyping up his team’s creation, or at least trying to, to possibly give them a better chance at winning the challenge. This could just be for his own sake, but I’m willing to believe it’s for the whole team’s sake too. (He definitely doesn’t want to be up for elimination, though.)

10:54 - “Vote for one of the members of eeuughhh-”

Pay attention to Wheel’s expressions here. Immediately, he first looks nervous on first showing up on the elimination screen. Then, he looks surprised and then mildly suspicious of Clock being there, followed by slightly startling at Clock disappearing from the spot he was looking at. He looks at Polka Dot a little sadly, and then at the screen, worried but resigned. To me, this mainly feels like he’s nervous about his fate at the hands of the viewers (though honestly, he has been this whole episode), but also guilty at possibly killing Polka Dot from the look he gives her- or sympathetic to her mild panic, since she seems to silently apologize for appearing to squish Clock. (I’m not wholly sure why in between those, he gives Clock such a distrusting squint- at least not specifically, since I stand by the fact that he’s been distrusting of the host since the beginning.) Whatever the case, this whole sequence says a lot about Wheel to me, even if it’s just from his expressions.

IT’S TIME FOR THE [5:00] - Fifty-Seven Tears Of The Star

0:56 - “Speaking of the elimination… I think… I wouldn’t mind, a bit of a delay?” “Oh, you scared or somethin’?” “NO, no, I just think… we should look for Tile!” […] “NO, YOU’RE JUST SAYING THAT ‘CAUSE YOU’RE SAFE!!” […] “Know what? SHUT UP! Y- y- man- I’m- I’ma do my own thing.”

That’s pretty clearly a boldfaced lie. He’s been afraid of being eliminated from the start, and especially last episode. I don’t even need to analyze this deeply at all- it’s clear to everyone, even the other contestants, that he’s lying. He just doesn’t want to seem scared, so he covers it up with anger. This has been a pattern since [1:00]; it’s just much more obvious now.

2:48 - “RRRAAH I hate those guys, I hate the GRASS, I hate the SKY, I hate the AIR, I hate the TIME- oh… hm.” “You hate what?” “YOU.” “You… hate me?” “YES. …here we go again.”

Notice how fast he’s speaking in the beginning. To me, it sounds like rambling for the sake of rambling- he’s frustrated and afraid, and he doesn’t know how to get it out properly, so he does this mini-tantrum. I don’t think he means most of what he says there- when kids react like this, they often don’t either- but I do think he means it when he says it to Clock. He’s never liked Clock, this is just the first time he’s openly saying it.

3:10 - “Oh my, please be sure to watch where you’re bouncing, you could have hurt somebody!” “WHO IS THAT-”

Well, isn’t this familiar? This is the same reaction he’s had to Clock- just less intense. This could indicate that he’s not just untrusting of Clock in particular, he’s wary of all strangers. Unsurprising, considering what I’ve analyzed already, but still worth noting. I could also be reading into this too far and he’s just confused, though. (Also, WWFT does an L dance at Wheel, that’s hilarious.)

3:40 - “EXPLAIN. NOW.” “I don’t know anything about that!” “CLOCK.”

As far as I can tell, he’s confused, so he wants answers and goes to the nearest person he can trust (No Way) and then to the host, who probably SHOULD know the answer. It’s not clear whether this is from distrust of Well, or just him panicking, but honestly it could be both.

4:06 - “Oh nonono end this nightmare, one Clock is ENOUGH!”

Okay, well, this is really funny, but also adds on to the fact that Wheel does not like Clock at all. He even sounds a little afraid here- which could be partly because it’s the elimination and he’s just generally nervous, though it would make sense if after all that’s happened he did fear Clock.

5:20 - “[Not like you’ll be around to hear more, bruh, you’re just kinda stupid, like. Overall.]”

At first, I thought this might have been a flashback of things he’d heard before, but more likely WWFT is saying these things in real-time and Wheel is just halfway tuning it out. (This confirms that WWFT and Wheel have a negative relationship, at least.) As for why he’s tuning it out, he seems sort of… pensive, almost. Lamenting. He knows he’s going to be eliminated (he has for a couple hours, at this point), he just kind of doesn’t want to hear it from somebody he clearly dislikes. It’s also possible he’s worrying about what will happen to him. (He could also be thinking about what WWFT just said earlier about 57, but that’s less likely.)

5:32 - “One… one… one, wh- NO-!” “AaaaAAA any final words, Wheel?” “I’m so mad at ALL OF YOU I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU MADE ME LOSE THE CHALLENGE!”

And here it is, the moment he knew was coming. He’s panicked, now, and doesn’t try to hide it, before reacting in the easiest way he knows how- blame, anger. He’s scared, and lashes out because of it, possibly falling back into the Snowball strategy on instinct. He still doesn’t mean any of it, though, as proven by what happens next:

5:43 - “Okay… I… do have a few final words, actually. The Sun, keep doing what you’re doing, you could be an absolute challenge BEAST!” “Thank you!” “Refill Station, you really just need to calm down sometimes.” “Oh my, I love this place, I love the grass, I love the sky! I love the- NEW FRIENDS!!” “What is even happening?” “You are the FINAL member left on our original team and I want you to know that I wish you luck!” “Oh! Thanks…”

This? He means this. This isn’t just him talking to team members, either- he’d never been teamed with the Sun. To the Sun, he encourages, to Refill Station, he gives advice, and to No Way, he wishes luck. In fact, I even think he had more to say, Clock just interrupted him! He cares, and though he’s used to being the mean one, he wants to make sure the people he likes know this before he’s gone, even if it ruins his image. (After all, he won’t get another chance to.) In this moment, he’s letting himself be vulnerable- something he hasn’t done since the start, and maybe even since before then- and it’s important. This is the crown of his arc. This is who Wheel really is behind all the anger and fear. (It’s just a little sad that he only feels like he can and has to do this when he has no time left.)

6:07 - “So… what now?”

The end. He’s hurting, and terrified, and yet his default response is a furrowed brow- he hides his fear with an angry expression. Even at the very end, he kicks and fights and bares his teeth. (No Way and Refill Station look distraught while they have to watch. No Way even reaches out to him, as if to help.) With everything we know now, this is honestly heartbreaking, but at least I can say his last actions proved my point:

Wheel wasn’t mean or evil. He was scared. And he had every right to be.

Thanks for reading!

[good-griief]

Red - Ellie's Version

this is ellie's version of my safeword headcanon, but i also wrote one for abby here! sorry ellie's is a little more angsty lolol

my hc!

so unlike abby, i think ellie is more interpersonally educated than personally— in the sense that she doesn’t particularly want to focus on how shes feeling unless it’s in a specific context. so i think that means she’s more likely to try and see when you may need to use a safeword, so she can ‘fix’ whatever she’s doing and avoid that. i think she’s probably scared of something like that. even though safewords should indicate trust with your partner, i think she sees that as her doing something wrong and it may make you not trust her, so she doesn’t know exactly what to do without instruction from you— also unlike abby. i think they’re actually pretty similar in how they deal with this, but i think ellie is just a little more unprepared and reliant on you. i think it may make her feel helpless to not know what to do, but she’d rather you instruct her than she do something wrong ‘again’

Safewords were a thing you didn’t particularly like using. You didn’t want to disappoint Ellie, and you didn’t want to make her feel bad, but sometimes it was necessary. She usually tried to gauge when you needed to use one, asking for colors or how you were feeling, but you never said anything other than green, yellow, or good. She would still tone it down, though, knowing you were trying to please her, and making sure not to let you know that she’d caught on in case it made you feel any kind of way. 

Tonight, though, you couldn’t take any more of her relentless teasing, fingering, fucking… anything. You were tired, overwhelmed, and unable to handle anymore.

And now, after she’d said you couldn’t look at her anymore and made you get on your hands and knees before having to hold you up, degrading you in the process for not being able to do it yourself, you were giving in to your needs. 

“Red,” you choked out quietly, almost quiet enough that she didn’t hear it, but she paused, a— what you interpreted as disgruntled— ‘what?’ coming from her and making you lower your head. 

She stopped immediately, carefully letting you lie on the bed as you crossed your arms in front of you and tucked your head into your elbow. 

“I… I’m gonna pull out, okay?” Even though you didn’t respond, she carefully pulled the silicone strap from you, swallowing harshly when she heard you cry. She quickly got the strap off, tossing it aside without care and moving to you as you curled into yourself shakily. “Can I touch you?” She reached out but stopped herself when you shook her head. Her lips pursed, nose reddening. She thought she knew you well enough to know when she was going too far, but this time you’d fooled her into thinking you were fine when you weren’t. “I’m gonna get you something comfortable to wear, alright?”

She got up without waiting for a response, going into her drawers for a hoodie and gym shorts for you. She got joggers on herself, leaving finding a shirt alone since she still had a sports bra on. 

“Baby?” She spoke tentatively, sitting on the edge of the bed. “Do you want me to put these on you?”

You pushed yourself up, nearly faltering. Ellie caught you instinctively, as she always held you after sex, but that only made tears fall from your eyes. 

“I’m sorry— fuck, I’m sorry,” she stammered out quickly, pulling her hands away from you and getting up. She turned her back as you got on her clothes, cursing at herself internally each time she heard you sniffle. “I’ll go get you some tea,” she said, making sure to tell you why she was walking toward the door. 

She braced her hands on the kitchen counter of your shared apartment after turning on the kettle and blowing a slow breath. She knew you needed space, but she didn’t want to give it to you for fear that you’d feel like she didn’t care. She was stuck in a place of not knowing what to do, as she always was on the rare occasions that you really told her to stop. It was only two times before this, and both times you needed different things, but they definitely weren’t her not touching you. 

She tried to think over what she did that was any different than usual. She knew she overworked you, but you usually asked her to. Maybe it was too much this time? But it wasn’t any more than the last time you had sex and you loved that; in fact, you’d asked her to be more degrading after that. 

“Fuck!” She cursed when she touched the kettle instead of the handle, bringing herself out of her thoughts and quickly rinsing her hand and grabbing a mug. She grabbed a bag of your favorite tea, poured the water over it, and set the kettle aside. 

She knocked on the door before peeking her head in, noticing that you were dressed and coming in. She held up the mug, offering a small smile as she kicked the door shut behind her and walked to the bed. 

“It’s still hot,” she said as she set the mug on the bedside table and sat across from you, still lying down and hugging her sweater to you. “Will you talk to me?” She asked after a moment, reaching down to brush her fingers beneath your eyes, wiping away more tears as they fell. “Tell me why you’re crying?” She asked with a relieved sigh that you were letting her touch you, her hand cupping your cheek. “I can lie with you… if that’ll help?” You scooted over and she lied down next to you, hiding her eagerness to do so and resting her head on her arm as she met your eyes. “You don’t want to talk to me, do you?” You shook your head, feeling her thumb wipe away more tears. “Are you upset with me?” Again, you shook your head. “Then why can’t we talk? I can’t help if I don’t know what I did…” You went to speak but stopped when you felt yourself about to cry again. She frowned, biting the inside of her cheek. “Can I hug you?” As soon as you held your arms out for her, she pulled you close, feeling your cries become more frequent and waiting for you to speak up so she could stop feeling so useless. 

“You’re not mad at me?” You asked when you felt her hug you tighter. 

“What?” She pulled back, looking down at you with a frown. 

“You're not upset that I—“

“What? No! No, of course not.” She pulled you back into her chest. “No, I’d never be upset with you for trusting me enough to feel confident— or comfortable using a safeword—“ She stopped her rambling when you cried even more. “Please… What can I do?”

“You’d be upset if I didn’t use a safeword, then?” She swallowed, knowing her answer would upset you more. “There are times where I think I might need to, but then you make it go away—“

“I know,” she soothed, rubbing your back. “I didn’t catch it this time. I’m sorry. I thought you were okay.”

“I was, but… you said I couldn’t look at you, and I—“ She refrained from speaking, letting you finish instead of telling you how sorry she was. “I was tired, and you don’t usually make me hold myself up when I am… I know you were probably going to hold me up anyway, but…” You hugged her tighter, blinking out and away your tears. “I don’t like disappointing you.”

She sighed, stroking your hair. “You could never disappoint me.” She pulled back once more, finding your eyes. “Ever… You know that, right?” When you nodded, she pressed a loving kiss to your forehead and moved to sit up, bringing you with her before she turned and grabbed your tea. “It’s your favorite. Please.” She held it to you, and you took the warm mug. 

“You didn’t make yourself any?” She smiled at the question, head tilting fondly as she looked over you, no longer crying and just looking extremely cute to her with your big shiny eyes and flushed cheeks. 

“Mm-mm,” she finally responded, shaking her head and still staring at you almost dreamily, somehow bringing you comfort. Really, she was trying to make sure nothing else was wrong and got caught up in the process. 

“I can make you some.” You reached behind her to set your mug down, and she quickly caught you in a sweet kiss. You smiled into it. “I love you, El,” you said before getting up off the bed and going to the door. “Come with me?”

Now, she knew you were seeking comfort in her company, easing her heart and following you with a smile. 

The rest of the night was spent making tea and dinner, Ellie hugging you from behind now that she could, forcing you to walk her wherever you were going until it was finally to the couch. You ended up falling asleep there, Ellie holding you in your exhausted state and keeping you close as you slept. She watched you every so often, making sure you were sleeping peacefully and she was really able to comfort you after that long half-hour. She hated to think that you tried to hide things from her to keep her from being upset, but she liked to know that she knew you well. Hearing that she made it better eased her to no end, and seeing you sleep soundly in her arms reminded her that you still trusted her. 

[nvuy]

your writing style is a dream of mine, and the pacing & humor in your fics are some of the many reasons i decided to follow you !

i'm trying to write fanfics myself & potentially even run a writing blog! could you share a few writing tips?

you are so cute.

i’ll let you in on a secret: i started actually publishing my fics in 2020, but i since abandoned them because they’re embarrassing. however, here’s one as a starting point. i look back at it and cringe A LOT, but it was my foot in the door, and 15 year old me was very proud of it, so i didn’t want to straight up delete it.

i didn’t start out on tumblr because i get nervous being forced to interact with people because im a pretty abrupt person and i talk about the things that i like too much and im aware that can scare people away. it was about halfway thru writing old habits before i actually posted something. that was this and i posted it because i knew what little audience i had knew ME because i wrote a scaramouche fic. so. scaramouche content.

and because of the tumblr tagging system, people saw it, they liked it, and some people wanted more.

i then interacted with other writers slowly even though i was scared and frankly still am. you dont have to go around asking to be moots or spamming hearts left and right and putting their dicks in ur mouth, but being nice and having a scope around on what other people do on here helped me develop this ugly little blog i have.

i got really into hsr so i write a lot of hsr. i get a lot of people that ask if i could write more genshin impact, and i could, but at the end of the day, it’s my blog, and if i dont want to, i dont have to. i lost interest, so i dont really have to care about it, nor pay it any mind. do i still write it? sure! rarely, but i do. i don’t play wuwa anymore, but im down to write a piece or two if i get an idea, etc etc.

another thing is: don’t write in the hopes that you’ll post it on tumblr. same way i don’t think artists should draw just for the sake of posting. i have so much shit laying on various docs that won’t even be shown on this site, because it doesn’t need to be here. not because it’s bad, or it’s weird, but because i don’t have to post it, because it’s my blog.

the thing is you just be yourself and write whatever the fuck you want. i write horror & weird shit; my audience is probably well aware of that by now, and im not really worried to post anything super weird because its sort of what’s expected of me.

i know horror and romantic cannibalism connotations and yanderes and unsubtle sexy threats is not everyone’s thing, and that’s ok! they don’t have to like what i put out, and i don’t worry about it, because people who like your shit will interact, and people who don’t will not. and people that don’t like ur shit and still interact are losers. hit the block button & move on.

someone is always bound to like your works.

i guess the ‘funny’ comes from the fact that i try to write dialogue how real people would speak. in fictional context, someone like kaedehara kazuha could wax poetry for three hours without stuttering in game, but realistically, nobody can probably do that without pauses, stammers, messing up words, etc. so i try to incorporate a sense of realism into everything, even if it’s a fanfiction in a world where a small boy in white tights is a god and everyone gets tiny little orbs that give them magical elemental powers.

i remember that even though these characters are fictional, i write them as though they could potentially be real people that do things real people do: fidget, stutter, blush, try and be funny and fail, they have problems large or small, etc. you have to mould your personality and writing style to make these characters alive on what you put out—childe seems like a great husband on paper, but is he all that good when he has unchecked mental health problems and has violent outbursts and desires? think about it.

another thing: don’t doubt your skill and prowess, especially in comparing yourself to posts with like 10000+ notes. most of them are note farming bullshit anyway—and a lot of the reader community is more likely to click on porn fics than normal fics. its why the popular posts on the x reader tags are usually porn. it’s half the reason why confiteor is infinitely more popular that old habits when im pretty sure scaramouche is a bigger character on the popularity charts.

strictly nsfw blogs that people make i can guarantee you are a lot more popular than their main blogs.

which brings me to: dont hop on trends. don’t do it. youll burn yourself out. just write what you want. fuck everyone. do whatever the fuck you want. if porn is popular but you’re extremely sex-repulsed or not comfortable, don’t write it. dont write to please people; it’s your blog and your time you’re putting into to do what YOU like, and you’re sharing your work for FREE on a public platform. a lot of people can’t do that. there’s people that follow my blog that openly admit they don’t like yandere/horror/whatever content. am i going to change what i post because of these people? no. not my problem. don’t care. i don’t exist to please everyone, and neither do you. stick to what you like.

don’t write for fandoms you don’t give a shit about just because they’re popular. even if what you like has a small, non-existent fan base, i promise you’ll enjoy writing for that more than something that you’re creating for clicks. notes are nice, but again, you don’t have to post everything you create. half the joy in writing is rediscovering old shit you don’t remember writing for a fandom you actually like. it’s like a reward.

[hatchetfieldtheories]

Workin' Boys: A New Theory

So, I’ve changed my mind.

A while back I wrote this theory, and while I do still think there is some truth to the theory that Hidgens began to have his apotheosis once he touched the blue goo, I think there is more to the story.

Note, the below contains one mild spoiler for NPMD.  Mild only in that I will briefly reference one character without any context added.  Feel free to skip this theory if you wish, or come back to it post 13th October to see how much I got wrong!!

Great Scott! It’s a Workin Boys theory!

The world will be blessed with Workin Boys next week, and I know not everyone will get to watch it, but it’s safe to say there will be things we learn from the show that will either answer some of our never ending questions, or give us more to puzzle over.  The latter being the one I’m expecting if I’m honest, afterall, this is Hatchetfield.  

And to be honest, we’ve not been given much to work on.  The trailer and synopsis are both pretty short, we’ve had a sprinkling of facts and figures over the last couple of years, and a few Hidgens cameos, so this isn’t really a theory of what I think will be the storyline, but rather an attempt to predict some of the themes and potential lore implications that might arise.

Also for reference, a good portion of the info used in this theory has come from these two wonderful compendiums of Hatchetfield knowledge:

@gone-to-oregone's wonderful Everything is Connected doc

@abiimaryy's amazing Hatchetfield Lore Doc

The Stage is Set

Professor Henry Hidgens and Doctor Emmett Brown have a lot in common.  They’re eccentric, they’re clever, and they both had a vision of something world changing due to an accident they had 30 years ago.

For Henry, this doesn’t result in any fun 50s hijinks, but rather he gets struck by lightning in 1988 and predicts the world ending by musical apotheosis. Super specific, honestly.  But what is important is that date.

Hidgens didn’t predict the events of TGWDLM after 2005, but rather before. If this had happened to him after 2005 we could easily put the lightning strike down to an event unique to the TGWDLM timeline only.  However, his accident happened way before 2005, way before the timelines split.  So just as Ted must be the Homeless Guy in every single Hatchetfield timeline, Hidgens must also be expecting a musical apocalypse in every timeline.

This must also include Working Boys, whatever timeline that ends up being in.  In Workin Boys, Hidgens would be under the impression that at some point soon, a musical apocalypse is about to happen.  So what does that have to do with said musical-within-a-musical?

Here come the LiB

It’s pretty safe to say Pokey is heavily influencing whatever happens in Workin Boys.  First of all, its a musical so it was going to be a safe bet.  But judging by the trailer, we’ve got multiple references to our fave goo gremlin. The blue light shining on Henry, multiple voices calling him in a Singular Voice, and Joey’s jumpscare where he looks like Pokey incarnate.

Who Joey is in that small clip is anyone’s guess.  I’ve seen a few theories floating about, including Chad, Mathias Waylon, and Pokey himself.  Honestly, I’m not sure, but what is important is how he looks.  Whoever this fella is, he’s got a blue hue, a cracked face, and ooze dripping down his chin.  If he’s not Pokey, he’s someone who has been Pokey-fied.

And this link was always going to make sense.  Workin Boys has had its biggest show stopping moment in Pokey’s timeline.  

But what if Workin Boys was created, because and for Pokey.

In TGWDLM, we get a whole scene of our cast of characters witnessing the meteor coming through the clouds.  Our cast of characters are busy going about their evening, finishing work, wondering what is coming through the clouds.  Notably, Paul is on his way home, from his work, in the business world.  Paul doesn’t strike me as someone who stays late at work, so it’s safe to say that the meteor hit the Earth’s atmosphere around.. 5 O’clock?

This is Pokey’s Workin Boys now

Let’s go back to that incident with the lightning strike.  Henry was hit by lightning and predicted the apocalypse.  I’ve referenced in a few theories (1 & 2) that I think lightning is more than just the LiB’s motif.  It’s the strike of inspiration, of interference, of the Lords in Black in the real world.  The Black Book contains references to lightning, we see a crack of lightning across each Hatchetfield show title, when the meteor crashes at the Starlight lightning is flashing through the sky.

Something to shock em, to bring them a crawling, a big time box office draw

When Henry was hit by lightning, he didn’t just see the potential musical end times. But he was also given Workin Boys - or at least, he was given his inspiration.  Workin Boys was always written for Pokey. It’s Hidgen’s story, yes, but the musical itself is for our blue boy.  It was a pre-destined self-destruction.

The musical Hidgens writes tells us the 5 O’Clock can’t come soon enough because in one timeline, that is when the meteor will strike.  This is why he is trying so hard to fund the show in every timeline, because in one timeline he needs to put it on stage for whatever Pokey has planned.  Whatever Pokey requires half of Hatchetfield to be in attendance for.

Prof. H and Miss H?

I’ll be honest, and apologies in advance.  I don’t think Miss Holloway is alive in the Workin Boys timeline.

We were told following NMT2’s release (via Jim Povolo’s watch series) that the Black Book we see in Killer Track was created for Workin Boys, which means providing things haven’t changed we should see the book.  If that’s the case, then Miss H doesn’t have it.  It’s possible that Hidgens somehow gets hold of the book, and when the show of his dreams doesn’t look to be going the way he expected - he does what Thrash told everyone he did - he sold his soul to the devil.  Or, well, to the Black and White.

As to when he gets the Black Book - who knows - but all I’ll say is it’s very interesting that Miss H is our 80s queen, and Hidgen’s divine inspiration also occurred in the 80s.

Encore

Well, that’s the main theory.  But we’ve got time for one last little theory that’s very loosely based on nothing.

Workin Boys: A New Musical, is based on Hidgens’ friends from college - old college chums in a beat up old house. Specifically - six of them - not including Henry.  I’ve seen a few theories regarding the six workin boys being a stand in for the LiB and Webby.  Is this a stretch? Maybe.  But it also kind of fits.  From odd instances in livestreams and tweets, it’s clear that Henry was not throwing that old pigskin around (specifically in one of Nick’s tweets that there are 7 workin boys, but 6 on the field).  Henry isn’t a part of that group.  Not fully.  So if we do get to meet any of the irl workin boys, I don’t think their dynamic is going to be quite how Hidgen’s pictures it.

Well, if you made it this far please help yourself to some interval ice cream and a show programme. And remember - there’s no exits from this broadway venue.

[fuddlewuddle]

How do you manage to write so much, like, without running out of steam (or seemingly running out of steam) - it seems like your creativity is constantly flowing, it's wonderful! Do you have any tips for writing and keeping motivation going? It's clear you're so passionate about everything you write. It's really inspiring. I'm really happy the top gun fandom introduced me to your fics. xxx

Hi Nonnie!

First of all thank you for the lovely message, I’m so happy you enjoy my fics. 🥰🥰

Now, in answer to your question, I feel like I need to caveat it and say that I realised pretty early on, that I don’t seem to have a brain like everyone else when it comes to writing. As in, no one else I know, writes as much as me 🙈 (to put into context, I’ve been writing fanfic since March 2021 and I’ve written over 3.4 million words, so yeah, the brain rot runs deep 😅).

But for tips on writing and how to stay motivated, I would say

Write characters you love. You’ll be spending a lot of time either in their head or writing about characters falling in love/ interacting with them. If you don’t like the character you’re writing it will generally show. You’ll have probably noticed that my favourite character is Maverick, and one of my favourite things is writing other characters fall in love with him. Describing Tom Cruise and how beautiful he is (whether as Mav or any of the other characters I’ve written of his), makes me happier than anything else. But I also love writing Mav’s POV, because he’s such a complex character. I’m currently on 322 fics with Mav in, and I love him more than ever. Him as a character and all the possibilities for stories involving him, keeps me motivated.

Be open to writing different things. I know everyone has hard limits on things they won’t write, so I don’t mean them, but more in the sense of scenarios or kinks you might not have considered, and not letting preconceived notions of the idea stop you from trying to write it. I’ve written so many kinks and stuff, mainly for RoosMav, that I never would have written before, but to me it was a way of exploring their dynamic and relationship in multiple ways, which stops me becoming bored with them as a ship. You don’t have to do this, but I just feel that if you spend too much time doing the same kind of writing (whether that’s writing style or scenarios or kinks) then inevitably you’ll get bored and move on, and you might not actually want to leave your blorbos behind.

Write for yourself first. Generally I don’t write an idea I wouldn’t want to read. If I put effort into writing a story it’s because at some point in the future I want to come back and read it. Other people read in my stories and enjoying them is always a wonderful bonus, but I never forget I write for me first. If you do this, then it doesn’t matter what you write, it’ll always be a success regardless of the number of kudos or comments.

If you think no one else will read your fic, think again. I’ve written so many random ships (SO many 🙈) and there’s always someone who will find them. The world is better with your creativity out in the world than hidden away. At least, that’s what I like to think every time I post a crossover fic about a pairing no one else has every considered anyway 😆

If you open to writing multiple pairings, then I find it’s a great way of getting over writers block or ennui about a pairing. Keeps it fresh, as some ideas don’t work with some pairings, but it does with others, and it means you don’t get sick of a character.

Don’t force yourself to write when your body/ mind isn’t up to it. If your body needs rest, make sure you rest. The ideas and words will no doubt come when you least suspect. Or at least mind do. Usually when I’m trying to sleep 🙄🤣

And finally, I would say, don’t be made to feel ashamed of what you write. You can write whatever you want forever. No one else is going to write a story the way you would. So, if want to write it, then do. I can guarantee someone will read it.

Anyway, hopefully some of this is useful. As I said though, I’m honestly not sure how I manage to write so much comparative to other people. I probably need help tbh 🤣

Thanks for the ask, Nonnie! 💜

[tallerthantale]

What Does Aziraphale Actually Believe, Part 6: Philosophy Time

This is a series of my takes on what Aziraphale believes through the timeline of the show. It is all my personal interpretation, and I am happy to hear others. You don’t need to read them all in order, but know that I am coming from a perspective on Aziraphale’s machinations that can be difficult for people without a psychology background to follow without the first two as a primer. The quick version is that Aziraphale has a set of beliefs that exist in some form or another within his mind. However, at any given moment, only some of them exist ‘with awareness’ or as I am putting it here, conscious!Aziraphale only has access to the beliefs that the rest of his mind, veil!Aziraphale, allows him to know about. The context of the moment will determine what lives on the surface and what stays buried behind the veil, whatever arrangement best prevents a threat to Aziraphale’s sense of self and makes whatever he is inclined to do feel right.

This post finishes the minisode and flashback content, starting from 1800's Edinburgh through to the 1960's bit. There is a lot of attention given to how Aziraphale conceptualises good and evil, and the roles of angels, demons, and humans within the divine system. About 3k words.

A Spot of Body Snatch

Some juicy bits of philosophy show up in the Edinburgh flashback. While Aziraphale has been able to disagree with the archangels, or think that they are misguided about God’s will, the general moral esthetics of what heaven is supposed to represent have largely been left intact. The idea is you put a bunch of people out in the world, you see who does the good things and who does the bad things, and you reward and punish accordingly. Aziraphale still believes that is a component of the ineffable plan, and advocates for some version of it in the modern era. At this point he thinks that it’s all going rather well, and you can easily sort the good and bad humans apart. He doesn’t look too closely, because that’s not going to help preserve his sense of self. He has been on the earth for over 5800 years at this point. His ignorance to the disadvantages of the poor is willful. See end note.

At the start of the adventure, Aziraphale believes body snatching is wicked. It is a morally bad thing to do, people who do it are morally bad. People who finance it are morally bad. This is an intuitive judgement, it feels wrong. As is commonly the case with intuitive judgements, it gets messy on the application, the devil's in the details. When he miracles the freshly dug up body into a skeleton, why does that feel right? Ostensibly the wickedness of the body snatching is the desecration of the dead. By turning the body into skeleton soup, Aziraphale has personally desecrated the dead. You could make the argument that it was a necessary evil in the name of a greater good, but Aziraphale doesn't make that argument, he claims that what he did was directly a morally good act. Why? Because it felt good to him to do it. He was sticking it to the morally bad people by making their life harder. Sometimes Aziraphale is a petty bitch like that.  

When he learns that the body snatching operation functions to alleviate human suffering, his feelings change first, then his judgement changes. After the talk with the surgeon, holding the tumour in a jar, participating in the body snatching feels like helping to relieve human suffering, therefore his involvement in it is in alignment with the ineffable plan, therefore let's go do it. It is worth noting that for all Aziraphale emphasises forgiveness in his interactions with Crowley, he doesn’t ask for it here. There are many factors involved in that, and @takeme-totheworld has some very relevant things to say on the way Aziraphale engages with forgiveness from ex-Christian perspective.

I think one of the other factors involved is that Aziraphale is pretty normalised to reshuffling his beliefs to feel better about himself, and a feature of that normalisation is not fully taking accountability when you shuffle a disavowed belief out. Veil!Aziraphale allows just enough awareness for conscious!Aziraphale to express that his previous belief was incorrect, and then it’s yeeted like that belief never existed. Accountability, apologising, asking forgiveness, all of that would require conscious!Aziraphale to retain awareness of the offending prior belief and prior action. Believing he did a bad thing before breaks his ability to believe that as an angel he is incapable of doing bad things. He doesn't need to believe the absolutist stuff all the time, but it can't coexist in conscious awareness with the knowledge that he has been wrong. It is a known problem with shame responses, they sometimes motivate us to eliminate our awareness of our actions rather than motivate us to make amends.

When Wee Morag is mortally wounded, Aziraphale decides he is going to break heaven's rules, and asserts that the thing he will do, which isn't allowed by heaven, is the right thing to do. Since Uz Aziraphale has been able to believe that the policy of the institution of heaven is wrong and has been willing to go against it. He can shuffle that belief in when needed, and then shuffle it back out to go back to his day to day believing in heaven most of the time. His inclination to break the rules to save Wee Morag is in keeping with that shuffling ability, but we can observe that he slips into it a lot more comfortably than he used to, though not as comfortably as we might like, and not fast enough to save her.

People Get a Choice

What stands out in this era is his continued attachment, just previously in the minisode, to the idea that angel = good and demon = evil. For all he is willing to believe heaven is wrong, he will not let go of categorising the angels as ‘good,’ even into the modern era. It is deeply tied to his internal understanding of his personal relationship to God as an angel, and therefore his sense of self. He knows the other angels would deliberately let Wee Morag die. But the other angels are still angels, and therefore ‘good.’ Crowley, who is working to alleviate human suffering, is ‘evil’ so long as he remains a demon. 

The exact phrasing is: "I am good. You, I'm afraid, are evil. But people get a choice."  As for Crowley being evil, yes, Aziraphale thinks Crowley is nice. Yes, he thinks Crowley is a good person. Yes, he 100% loves Crowley as he is. But Crowley’s existence is conceptually evil in the abstract through no fault of his choices. Humans can choose. Crowley can't. Aziraphale’s attachment to this point drives most of the serious conflict between them. The worst things Aziraphale says to Crowley are on this theme. So why is he so defensive of it 5800 years in? What is this position doing for him? What does believing this save him from believing instead?

What Aziraphale is protecting himself from is the existential crisis of the pointlessness of it all. He is keeping himself from believing that the entire set up of the sides of good and evil, and humanity having the choice between good and evil, is all a sham. He is protecting himself from believing that he has no side. That there cannot ever be an idealised heaven that represents good. It isn’t just unachievable, it is incoherent. That his behaviour isn’t about furthering the cause of the greater good, he’s just doing what makes himself happy and deciding that is the right thing after the fact. That his sense of what feels right is no substitute for actual ethical principles. To prevent himself from processing all that, he will believe that Crowley is ‘evil’ in the abstract. 

Aziraphale's mind likes to protect itself from responsibility. "You're an angel, I don't think you can do the wrong thing." Aziraphale grasped at straws to take that at face value from a fallen angel, but he grabbed that straw and he didn't let it go. Believing angels are inherently naturally good helps support his inclination to intuit morality. He can just let his innate angel vibes tell him what the right thing is (it’s whatever feels right to do) and he can be confident that is good, because he was an angel when he wanted to do it, and he is still an angel after having done it.

However, this is a very precarious defence for a lot of reasons. If we are working with a definition of ‘good’ and ‘evil’ that have no relationship to personality or behaviour, that’s not very reassuring. Aziraphale cant prove to himself his actions are morally good actions if his continued status as an angel is utterly unconnected to his actions. If angelic / demonic status defining celestials as good and evil is connected to actions or inclinations, how does Aziraphale parse the questionable actions of the other angels, and does he think less of Crowley? I suspect that for the most part he is generating definitions moment to moment that serve the interests of whatever else he is trying to believe at the time. Entirely abandoning the association of good/angel and evil/demon feels too much like abandoning his internal concept of God, so he won’t. Thinking Crowley is a bad person because he is a demon would be equally horrific, so he won’t do that either. He will roll through shifting definitions and avoid looking too hard at the consequences of his positions.

One option for what he can believe that I suspect has been growing stronger, is believing that God has a plan for Crowley that involves a deliberately unjust fall, to return him from later. It solves a lot of the above conflicts. He doesn’t have to consider if Crowley had a choice in becoming a demon, he doesn’t have to believe Crowley ever ‘did the wrong thing’ voluntarily while an angel, it makes it easier for him to rationalise that he is personally incapable of doing the wrong thing, it helps him rationalise his own relationship with Crowley. The only real downside is the part where Crowley would never in a million years endorse this viewpoint, and at some level Aziraphale must be aware of that because he doesn’t tend to express anything like this openly. However it very much looks to me like the missing piece that makes everything else fit. See end note.

Obviously!

Sometimes thinking Crowley's fall is part of an ineffable plan won't stop Aziraphale from being petty about Crowley's demonic status when that opinion isn't on his mind. "We may have both started out as angels, but you are fallen." It might be the rudest version of all of Aziraphale's 'holier than thou' moments, and in the context of what Crowley had likely recently been through, that was really unnecessarily mean.

Now for one of my more counter intuitive takes; Aziraphale is mean to Crowley because he puts him on a pedestal. When you believe someone is so magnificent, so perfect, so destined, you can believe nothing you do or say is capable of causing them harm. Then you can get really careless, particularly if the person you're putting on a pedestal doesn't readily show you their pain. If they are so grand, and your opinion doesn't have any value anyway, why bother considering what you say?

When asked for holy water, Aziraphale's mind goes to a suicide pill, because Aziraphale could not cope with being a demon. He’s had a lot of time to think about it now, he has come to understand that Crowley really isn’t “free to do whatever [he] want[s]” and I think he would genuinely prefer not to exist than to be in Crowley’s position. He projects his feelings about how horrible it would be for him onto Crowley, but also thinks Crowley is the stronger one, and the better one. Crowley just got back from being yanked down to hell for doing a good deed. A good deed that involved bullying Aziraphale into giving his money away, which he wouldn’t have done on his own. Crowley’s good deed for which he was likely tortured involved pressuring an angel into doing the right thing, after Aziraphale had been too slow to properly help the humans, while accurately sassing him for not understanding the impacts of poverty on humanity. It's not hard to see why Aziraphale might believe Crowley would prefer not to be a demon. There are times he makes a better angel than Aziraphale. Although to be fair, Crowley did overdo it on that hole. 

Date Night

A toast ‘to shades of grey’. Aziraphale’s choice of words, Aziraphale’s choice to make it a toast. It’s an interesting pair of choices. Aziraphale has been in the middle with Crowley for thousands of years, but this is the moment he lets himself acknowledge the value of shades of grey. What does it mean, given everything Aziraphale has already done? Aziraphale had been believing everything he had done was 100% good, he just had convoluted justifications. Now his convoluted justifications only get him as far as very light grey, and he is finally starting to make his peace with that. 

Does that mean he isn’t thinking of himself as 100% aligned with God? I think sometimes yes, but also sometimes no. The other option is that he doesn’t think God is 100% good anymore. Each version represents a massive shift. If we understand Aziraphale’s journey to being at peace with himself as a Daoist one, and I think there is a lot of subtext to that effect, Daoism doesn’t do absolutist good and evil. Things just… are. The divine isn’t a refined extreme. The Dao isn’t ‘good.’ It is. Full stop. I think Aziraphale will consider God less good more readily than he will consider himself misaligned with Her. 

Why now? Because he realised, fully into his conscious awareness, that he was in love with a demon, as a demon. Nothing else fits the toast because nothing else changed in terms of Aziraphale’s philosophical alignment. Many flashbacks have brought us new things Aziraphale is willing to do that might distance himself from the ranks of the institution of heaven. Nothing new happened on that front in 1941. Many flashbacks have shown Aziraphale having new ways he is willing to understand the human world. Nothing new happened on that front in 1941. Something shifted in the way he understands his sense of self and his relationship to God, and one of the few things that still ties back to that is the role of angels and demons in the universe. It wasn’t what he was willing to do that broke new ideological ground, it was what he was willing to feel.

That willingness to feel broke a psychological wall for Aziraphale, and I believe with that wall down he can now think of himself and Crowley as somewhat ‘human aligned’ when it comes to certain aspects of their morality. Aziraphale talks with Crowley about the shades of grey they prefer. The way the term prefer is used here implies they have options. Options implies a choice. Choice was supposed to be for people. They may not have the ability to choose their employer, but they are both choosing to be a bit grey, and now they can say it to each other out loud. I will come back to this point in a future post.

You Go Too Fast For Me

He knows he is in love with a demon, but he still isn’t ready to act on it. He says maybe one day. I think all of him wants Crowley, but not all of him wants to want a demon. I think some of the fandom doesn’t want to process this about Aziraphale, but really think about it. If Crowley was an angel rescuing him and the books in the church, then in the 60’s offering to take him anywhere he wants to go, do you really think he would still say no? There is of course a conflation between their roles on opposite sides of celestial conflict and Crowley’s metaphysical status as a demon. It's the being on opposite sides that's the problem. I don’t think Aziraphale has any sort of disgust reaction or aversion to demonic features or demonic energy. But the metaphysical status of demon is the origin of their opposite sides situation, and Aziraphale isn’t prepared to feel like that is entirely arbitrary, even if it’s part of a bigger ineffable plan. Too fast isn’t a forever no, it’s check back later. Aziraphale knows it will ‘feel right’ down the line, and I don’t think that depends on demonic status going away, just on him needing time to process his feelings. For Aziraphale’s lifetime, 1941-1967 is the blink of an eye. 

Part 6/10

End Notes

On willful ignorance: In my opinion, IRL willful ignorance mostly takes the form of a motivated lack of awareness. If a particular perspective, interpretation, relevant factor, explanation, ect… doesn’t line up with a person’s sense of self or behaviour, it stays out of awareness because the background mechanisms of the mind work to keep it out of awareness. The information they do not absorb is targeted. It isn’t random, it follows a strategy, and yet, they have no idea that they are doing it. It is… exhausting… to engage with that.

On pedestals: It has been observed that the level of misogyny in a country correlates very highly with a tendency to put women on pedestals. The more prevalent attitudes about how wonderful and perfect women are for doing all the womanly things so well predicts both a strong demand that women conform to those expectations and harsh penalties when they don't. Putting a person on a pedestal is a way to feel like you are honoring that person when you are actually threatening them.

On God having a plan for Crowley: I’ll be going into further detail as to why I think Aziraphale believes this and what it means in a future post, probably the final post. The closest we see him get to expressing this perspective to Crowley is the “May you be forgiven,” and if that is where he was going with it, that was like, the worst way he could possibly have put it. I do wonder if the 1941 apology dance could have come from Aziraphale telling Crowley he thinks God has a martyr plan for him. I think internally acknowledging that he was in love could have led to him saying it, and I think Crowley would be very valid in wanting an apology if he had. That said, I think the apology dance could also be explained by Aziraphale almost getting them caught with the magic show, and taking his time to reveal that he had swapped the photos. 

While we're talking about old apology dances, I think the 1650 one probably had something to do with Anne Greene.

[not-alien-girl-v]

some george fluff, maybe him and reader are childhood friends, or they’re in their school era ( idk if that makes sense💀) and they’re just pining for each other but neither know the feelings are mutual

Heartbreak Girl (George Daniel)

warning: drinking, moshing, smoking, language

note: of course i understand what that means i’m the same bitch who called mattys 2013 tumblr days his ‘small era’ also im starting to realize a lot of you people are british. weird. im from california and in PST but some of you are european or whatever. strange

⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ:*⋆.*:･ﾟ .: ⋆*･ﾟ: .⋆

the blood is rushing straight to adam's head from where he lays upside down off of y/n's bed. the comforter is pink, mirroring the walls which are the same hue, so him and his leather jacket look out of place. she's sat at a vanity, carefully applying mascara to what's left of her lashes.

"so why are you so against having fun again?" he asks, out of genuine curiosity but it sounds like he's poking fun.

she snaps her head around, hair whipping around at her shoulder. "it's not like that. i'm not against fun. i just had a... thing... the last time i went."

he sits up, twisting upright to lean back on his elbows. "define 'thing.'"

polaroids from over the years are used as cheap decorations in this pink bedroom of hers. they’re taped the walls, tucked into the edges of this vanity mirror, and unbeknownst to anyone else, she hides a few intimate ones under her mattress.

they aren’t dirty or lewd, but they depict george daniel at some of his most beautiful moments, or so she believes, and they’re private enough that she doesn’t want anyone to walk in and see them, so she keeps them private, just for her.

sighing, "it was george," she's interrupted by adam's loud groan of annoyance but continues anyway, "he was just being weird to me. a bit cold, and he was completely sober through it because he was driving home, so it wasn't like 'greening out' kind of weird it was just him being bitchy to me. i'm scared he found out i like him or something, so i've been keeping my distance."

"just avoid him tonight. if he's choosing to be so cold to you, i'm sure he won't seek you out. you'll be fine."

the makeup adds pounds of weight to her face and she feels undesirable, but then again, she feels the same without the makeup, anyway. it’s a way of life to her.

she’s like a little child in her mothers pearls and heels, like an ugly girl in a paper mache head of a pretty one. she’s always wondered where this sprouted from. it’s not like she has some incredibly beautiful sister she’s been compared to, and she was never harshly bullied growing up, or if she was, george would have taken care of it for her. ‘no one makes fun of her but me,’ he would say.

"you're right. when did you get so wise, hann?" she begins applying a wine red lipstick to her lips precariously, when the door to her room is slammed open by ross, who is careless as he stands there. the red leaves a large smudge off of her lips and she turns back to glare at ross.

"you're still going tonight?" he asks, not caring to read any context clues. "nice lipstick, is that how girls are doing it these days?" he laughs cruelly, like a mean older brother. she throws a decorative pillow his way as he laughs himself out of the room.

⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ:*⋆.*:･ﾟ .: ⋆*･ﾟ: .⋆

she hops out of hann's car, doc marten boots clunking on the pavement below. with one quick glance around the landscape of the parking lot, she doesn't see george, which is a good sign, meaning she can proceed with her normal routine, which starts with a cigarette outside.

she started smoking at 16, and now, at 18, she’s more than addicted to it, but it’s just another issue in her life she’ll push aside and never address until it inevitably causes her downfall.

she's adjacent to the entrance, but she always hangs around outside for a few minutes before she buys her ticket and heads inside. cupping her hand around the lighter, the flame flicks into motion and burns the tip of her thumb in the process. a large, looming figure approaches her from her peripheral and it’s roughly six feet and four inches tall and she knows it's already too late.

removing the stick from her mouth as a courtesy, she turns to face george, lazy smile on his face. "i knew i'd find you out here," he grins.

"you found me." she's not sure what his angle is here right now, why he's smiling, why he sought her out after making it abundantly clear the last time they met that he was no friend of hers.

"well, come on, i'll buy your ticket, come," he grabs her by her wrist and she sneaks it out of his grasp but follows him to the entrance table, where one person sits with a cashbox and a marker.

"it's fine, you don't have to," she reaches around to dig cash out of her back pocket but he halts her, again, grabbing her, and she can see now just how drunk he is, he is normally way less handsy when sober.

"no, please, i insist, it's no problem, not when it's you." the words make her tingle in an odd way and she swears to herself every time that its a feeling she will ignore but she never can.

"what's that mean?"

"it means i owe you money, anyway." he hands the cash to the collector and the person draws an x on the back of her right hand with their marker, ensuring her paid entrance.

"hey, i'm gonna... um..." she's pointing to the entrance where she intends on going but george has already gotten distracted in speaking to somebody working at the merch counter. it's whatever. he's always like this, his attention is never long-lasting, and sometimes she swears that's part of the appeal. that he never seems to care too much, he's so nonchalant, like his attention is something she needs to work for, to earn. something about the 'chase' or whatever.

when the 1975 isn't playing a show at this small venue, adam and ross tend to volunteer to work at the functions, doing small things such as selling drinks and snacks, cleaning up here and there, but it's mostly just an excuse to hangout. tonight, adam is selling the snacks and drinks. ross is supposed to be, as well, but he's just eating the snacks, mostly, sitting behind adam so he doesn't have to deal with customers.

"can i get a cup of coffee?" she asks adam, who greets her with a bright smile. his expression is warm, almost apologetic, he's speaking with his eyes, 'how are you doing tonight?' adam is by far her best friend on this earth.

believe it or not, george used to hold that title for years, until she met adam through george a few years ago, and despite him being two years older, the two got along swimmingly, brought even closer once she realized her feelings for george, which ultimately wedged it's way between her friendship with him.

she even dated adam for 2 strange months before they both came to find that they were better off as friends, and they've been even closer ever since.

"ay, is george being a dickhead again?" ross yells from the back, a bag of chips in hand and also filling up his crunching mouth. he has a habit of speaking with his mouth full. "what'd he do. i'll fuck him up if he's been bad again!"

his threats are empty, ross is too much of a lover to be a fighter, and she knows he's just saying it to make her feel better.

"he's fine. it's all fine, stop looking at me, stop worrying about me, i'll survive this tonight, i'm fine." she informs and adam doesn't believe it, his skeptic gaze following her all the way to the couch that's located in the back room.

the show is in between bands right now, with a total of 4 playing tonight. the first one finished up their set a few minutes ago so the stage room consists of one band packing up and the next band setting up to play.

as she sits silently on the couch, sipping away at her coffee, she notices george walk past her, not stopping to talk or sit or even look her way, which is fine, why wouldn't it be? it's not like they're supposed to be friends or anything. right?

he walks past again, looking lost.

the third time he passes, she calls out for him, "g? what are you doing?" he looks genuinely surprised to see her sitting there on the couch, like she's just suddenly gained visibility and she hasn't been sitting on the couch the whole time.

his dopey drunk smile shows up on his handsome face again, curly brown hair in the way of his eyes and he plops his heavy body down next to her on the old couch, making her bounce a bit on the other end. there's only room for two on this couch.

she makes eye contact with adam from across the room, and it's like he can bluetooth connect to her brain just through one thoughtful glance, but through the wireless connection, she informs him that 'its fine,' like that's her new catchphrase for the night. adam nods but doesn't let the two on the couch out of his sight.

"i was looking for you."

"you found me."

"hey, you said that already," he pokes his finger into her cheek and she smiles, bashfully pushing his hand down. "ok wait, when the next band plays will you get up and dance with me?"

"i don't know, are you going to throw me into the pit again, mister?"

he laughs all too loudly for a private conversation, "for the last time, honey, it wasn't me, i swear!"

she huffs, rolling her eyes, "sure, yeah, you just happened to be standing right there with a guilty look on your face. shit hurt, that guy punched me so hard i got a black eye! you remember that?"

he gets silent and still, a little too silent and too still before he suddenly blurts out, "i punched that guy afterwards."

"what?"

"he knew better than that. i wasn't just gonna stand there and watch him push you around like that, it isn't right."

she's blushing now. she wishes she wasn't, but this is the world she lives in. she speaks small, "you didn't have to do that."

"of course i did. that's what friends are for."

"right."

⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ:*⋆.*:･ﾟ .: ⋆*･ﾟ: .⋆

once they hear the heavy drums introducing the first song of the next bands, george is quickly up on his feet, reaching out his hands for her to grab, and he pulls her up with too much force, sending her flying into him, which she chooses not to discuss as she wordlessly continues next to him over to the stage room.

people have already filed into the room, forming a decent sized crowd, and even aside from the heavy music playing on the stage before them, it's loud.

she stands awkwardly by his side, not knowing if she should dance or mosh or leave the room or go home or go cry about it to adam in the next room. however, once the crowdkillers come in, throwing themselves blindly into the confines of the crowd, george makes a point to pull her out of harms way.

it's thoughtful, it's really thoughtful, that he doesn't want her to get hurt by anyone, that he doesn't want anyone to touch her, or maybe it's just that he feels guilty for last time. either way, he threw his arm around her shoulder and held her steady there to his left.

then, seemingly out of nowhere, matty crawls out from the midst of the crowd, shit eating grin plastered over his stupid, stupid face. "don't you two look cozy. almost like a real couple."

in this very moment, matty is the worst man in the world and she wishes him nothing but death in his future. she also wishes she never confessed her crush on george to matty because, of course, he can't shut his big fat mouth.

but then george does the unthinkable, he gets a fake-serious expression on his face and pulls her in by the shoulder to a tight, messy hug. her face is smushed into his shirt but it's not like she's complaining. she waits to see what happens.

"of course she's my wife and i love her. we have two dogs at home and a horse," he seems to laugh his ass off at his own joke, something about the horse really doing it for him.

knowingly, matty responds, "you're wasted, man," he claps george on the back like best buddies do, then to y/n, "i trust you'll get him home safe, won't you, love?"

matty is a bit of a small guy and he doesn't have any fighting experience. if rage completely takes over her body, mixed with adrenaline, she's sure she can rip his entire head off and chuck it onstage. but george doesn't let go of her, so she'll never know if it's a possibility.

she reluctantly peels herself off of him and with an awkward feeling, "a horse?"

he laughs in her face, "yeah, a horse."

she decides to play along with it. "since when do we have a horse? i can't handle your spontaneity, we need a divorce.”

“fine. but i’m taking the horse. you can keep the kids.”

“i never even wanted the horse, silly,” the lights are on and the band’s set is over now, so she walks out the door of the venue and continues out to the parking lot, more than sure he’s following behind like a lost puppy. she’d take sappy drunk george over cold sober george any day.

the night is inky black and light pollution causes stars to cease to exist in the sky. it’s no big deal. y/n’s seen them before on other, clearer nights, and george just doesn’t care.

she leans against the stone wall of the building and george stops to stand right in front of her. he’s close. he’s too close. he’s not still in place. he’s jittery, fidgety, his hands wring together like his words will pour out of them like water if he squeezes hard enough. they never do.

she chews the inside of her mouth, maybe all the damage she does to her cheek from her teeth is the reason george never liked her back. maybe that was the big deal, the one reason that held the line.

but she knows things aren’t black and white like that. she knows it’s a cocktail of things all put together that george has observed about her over the many years growing alongside one another.

she could argue it’s near impossible to love someone through all the changes from childhood to adolescence, all the phases and new shapes an individual inevitably takes in order to find some peace of mind.

but it wouldn’t be true, because through it all, she’s still so in love with him.

she’s thought about writing him a letter. a long letter, it will cover everything she wanted to say, everything she almost did but never came out. in this letter, she’d magically gain the confidence and cadence of an old poet, an old soul who’s words are like honey to the tongue, and she’d give it to him.

no, she’d give it to adam to give it to him. no, she’d mail it to him. his mom would retrieve it from the mailbox and leave it on his messy desk where he wouldn’t notice it, much less read it, until she’s long gone, somewhere far, far away.

she’d go to london. no, she’d go to amsterdam. no, seattle. if he dared to read the letter word by word, between the lines, he’d find secret instructions telling him to meet her there.

wherever she ended up fleeing to, it wouldn’t matter, as long as she would be far, far away from the aftermath of confessing her feelings to him. she can’t imagine looking him in the eye when it happens, much less being right in front of him.

she’d stand at a distance, a 1,000 mile distance, and watch her life implode into chaos and she would have nothing to do with it until she chose to come back. or maybe she wouldn’t. and maybe when reading the letter, george would never know to meet her in seattle, maybe he’d get two lines in and he’d fold it up, crumple it, and toss it into his wastebin under his desk in his bedroom.

then maybe years later, she’d finally come home for christmas, and he’d have stayed there, he’d have waited for years and years for her. and by then, the city of seattle had changed her, she’d have lost the meaning of christmas, and george, who had taken up work at a local christmas tree farm, could return it to her with a few witty jokes and sweet kisses.

then she could sell the story to hallmark and leave again. maybe george could tag along this time. maybe the years apart aided him in gaining some worldly wisdom, and he’d know to follow when she walks out of her own life for the second time.

george’s fingers dig into her knotted hair. his thumbs parallel on each side of her frosty cheeks and his mouth is blowing warm air onto her lips.

she gasps, quiet and low, “what-“

he acts for himself and doesn’t let her finish her sentence, he traps her lips into the embrace of his own.

she always did wonder what it would feel like to kiss him. it had occurred in dreams many, many times before and once they parted, it would always be followed by some friendly remark, like ‘i was just curious to know what would happen’ and then the plot of the dream would continue on like normal.

but this isn’t a dream, this is real life, as real as it gets, and if she doesn’t act on this now, she may never get another chance.

she pushes him away, “what the hell george?”

he stumbles back, backing away from her absentmindedly. “fuck, god, fuck, i’m sorry, shit, i’m so sorry.” he grovels like it will fix this. “i’ll go, i’ll leave you alone, i’m sorry.”

now it’s her turn to grab him harshly by the arm. “fuck you, no. you’re staying here. we need to talk about this. why did you do that?”

“i’m so sorry, i’m so, so sorry. i’ve just had these feelings. for so long, i’ve had these feelings and i didn’t know what to do so i didn’t do anything and i know i should have but i didn’t and i’m sorry. and i thought that tonight was the right time and that you have feelings too but you don’t and that’s ok, i’ll leave you alone for now, i’m sorry i screwed things up with you, i hope you can forgive me.”

george doesn’t cry. it’s not in a toxic masculine way, it’s not like he’s not allowed to cry or he doesn’t let himself cry, but as a general rule of thumb, he simply doesn’t cry.

y/n’s known him for ages. even as a little kid, falling off his bike, tripping over his feet, blood could be gushing out of a fatal wound of his body and she swears he would just walk it off, free of any tears.

but now tears stream down his face. it’s a sight to see. he roughly wipes them away with the sleeve of his shirt, even looking surprised at himself to be crying.

and she isn’t quite sure what to do about any of this, she’s aware, now, that her initial reaction made her seem as though the kiss was unwelcome. and that’s far from the truth.

“stop. just stop.”

he’s got a desperate look on his face and it physically hurts to see.

“what do you want me to do? i’ll do anything. just tell me what to do.” he looks much more sober now. his eyes are more focused and he’s swaying a lot less.

“kiss me again. please.”

he just stands there, jaw slack. if he were animated, he’d have a big question mark over his head.

so she makes the move, instead. she holds him by the back of the neck and kisses him harder than he had.

he smiles into the kiss but again, he pulls apart, this time holding her head tenderly with both hands. “you’re confusing me,” he shakes his head.

“then i’ll make it simple. i’ve had the biggest crush on you since the first grade. here i was thinking i’d be the only pining idiot but now you’re here telling me you feel the same? i can’t believe it.”

he giggles, “you mean year 2?”

“that’s what you get out of this?”

he smiles wider. “can i take you home?”

“you’re drunk. i’ll take you home.”

“yeah, yeah that sounds good.”

⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ:*⋆.*:･ﾟ .: ⋆*･ﾟ: .⋆

taglist: @indierockgirrl @itssimpleanditgoeslikethis @milkluvr8 @americanangel

[cherrysoojins]

💌 𓂂 ⟢ 🕸️ ♡ ☎️

SPIDERMAN ! smau.

one. ch. 1 ! what to do when she texts? (but you can’t talk to her normally)

being spider-man comes with a lot advantages, but those advantages can have their disadvantages. like jung wooyoung not being able to show up to study groups to be able to see the girl he’s crushing on big-time.

— please revert back to ( master list ) for warnings !

jung wooyoung knew how to talk to people, don’t get him wrong. in the case of MBTI, the first letter definitely started with an “E” for extrovert.

especially as your friendly neighborhood spiderman, he had to put himself out there at least a little bit.

“hey there!”

“how ya’ doing today?”

and a little bit of, “hey! since i’m spiderman can i get a lick of that ice cream bar?” to random little kids who were walking with their parents. he never got a bite of the ice cream, but he sure as hell got a stomp to his foot by an older woman in high heels.

so much for being their damn hero.

nonetheless, he knew how to talk to people. put him in front of a random person he’s never spoke with before, in or outside of the spiderman suit, and he could talk to them for many hours on end, even if he was the only one really doing the talking.

he could do that to any person in the city of seoul, or even outside.

except for one person.

you.

instead of a random person, put him in front of you and suddenly he’s a middle school boy realizing pretty girls actually do exist and they aren’t just a figment of his imagination.

he can still remember his first time bumping into you. a red, blushing mess who stumbled over his words just at the sight of you as he helped you pick up your textbooks because his shoulder roughly slammed into yours, causing you to drop them.

it was his spiderman-ly sense of duty to immediately bend down and help you out, but the second he looked up to utter an, “i’m sorry” it definitely came out as something like, “i’m, oh my god, sorry.” if he remembers correctly. and if choi san was true to his word and did overhear him say that, and wasn’t lying to make him feel even more embarrassed about his first encounter with you, then yeah. he was pretty sure he said something like that. which in hindsight, could definitely be played off as he felt really bad to anyone without context (you, who smiled and accepted his apology, brushing it off in the sweetest way ever).

but if you had context, you would realize the struggle he had taking his eyes off you and how his mind took one hundred million pictures of just your face alone so he could remember it and a recording in his head of your sweet, soft voice saved into “the best sounds ever” files in the front of his mind in second place.

the first best sound is when someone calls him handsome, but your voice extremely close behind that one!

he also tries really hard to remember the soft feeling of your hands brushing against his and the smell of caramel radiating off of you.

point is, he can not talk to you like he can talk to anyone else. he absolutely cannot formulate a proper sentence without at least slipping a cuss word in there because his own thoughts cloud over what he actually wants to say (which is you’re so freaking pretty and have the best personality known to man-kind and he has this insane, school-boy crush on you even though he hardly knows you, but that’s whatever) whenever he sees or communicates with you and he has to hold himself back.

this sort of thing doesn’t only happen in person either, no. it’s clear when he is perched on the roof after doing his city patrol and saving a cat from getting eaten by a dog while thinking about you because you loved cats so much, your family even ran a cat rescue center, and then his phone vibrates with a message.

jung wooyoung can talk to people. even more so text, he can most certainly text. he types everything he would say to the persons face, and it’s a habitual thing, especially when choi san is your best friend.

but he knew that one day, that habit will somehow fuck something up.

now he’s done it.

and now that’s he’s done it, there is unfortunately only one option left in this god forsaken world that could help him.

choi san.

now, there were two ways you would answer.

“oh…”

or,

“sorry did i disturb you? you don’t have to answer if you’re busy, we can talk later! or not at all if you don’t want to!”

or both, either way, that’s a bingo for him for guessing.

but god, were you the sweetest person on earth. especially to wooyoung, who you hardly even know and this is probably just the way you text and talk to people you don’t know, he guarantees you’re different with your actual friends, but for goodness of all cats well being you acted like such a saint and he loved every minute of it.

except when he made stupid texting mistakes and made you feel bad.

he was wearing his underwear. he needed some luck on patrol today.

jung wooyoung can talk to people, he really can.

but talking to you was like asking him to join the avengers. it takes time.

💌 tag list — @luvvvlyjoong , @92dzgf , @yeomingis , @hwasboyfie , @wooyoluvrr , @shingsoluvely , @jaerisdiction

send an ask or a private message to be added or removed from the tag list ! if your name is red and bolded, it means you may have some settings on that will not allow me to tag you! & as always, if i missed your tag, let me know!

[arthurian-texts]

There’s a scene in Chretien’s Knight of the Cart that’s absolutely crucial for how I see Gawain and Arthur’s relationship, one that probably sticks in my mind more than any other for how subtly and succinctly it captures so many complexities of their dynamic.

For context, this is right after Arthur agrees to let Guinevere go into a quite obvious trap (which ultimately leads to Guinevere’s abduction by Meleagant) with only Kay for protection, simply because he’d promised to grant whatever Kay asked. We’re told that “there was no one who was not upset” at this decision, but no one dares openly stop it or contradict Arthur - who is, after all, the king.

And it’s then that we get this crucial exchange:

No one’s grief was strong enough to prompt him to follow after her until Sir Gawain addressed the king, his uncle, in private. “Lord, you have behaved like a child, and I am astonished,” he said. “But if you heed my counsel, then while they are still near, we shall follow them, you and I, along with any others who wish to come there. As for me, I could not hold back from racing after them. It would be wrong for us not to follow them, at least until we know what will happen to the queen, and how Kay will behave.”

“Let us set off, dear nephew,” the king replied. “You have spoken courteously now. Since you have taken this matter into your hands, have the horses bridled, saddled, and led out that we may mount without delay.”

There’s always a very delicate balance Gawain is walking in how he interacts with Arthur, and you see it even in how the relationship is described here: the king, his uncle. On one hand, Arthur is Gawain’s relative, which gives him a certain leeway to treat him, if not quite as an equal, certainly much closer to it than most people could dare. But on the other hand, Arthur is the king, Gawain’s king, and questioning his authority too strongly would be considered unacceptable.

And I think you see that balance in such a fascinating way here. We’re told that everyone was unhappy with Arthur’s decision, but only Gawain dares to say so. Not only that, he basically tears into Arthur in incredibly strong terms: “You have behaved like a child, and I am astonished.” Clearly, Gawain feels confident that he’s earned the right to speak his mind to Arthur - to give him a piece of his mind, really, in this scene - and he doesn’t seem remotely afraid that there might be consequences for doing so.

But. But. Notice that crucial little detail there: in private. Gawain very pointedly waits to say anything about this until he and Arthur are alone. In public, around the other knights, Gawain doesn’t say a single word to contradict Arthur’s decision. In private, he tells him he’s acted like a child.

I’m reminded of a post I wrote a while ago about Game of Thrones, pointing out that Jon and Daenerys both make a distinction between being criticized in public and in private. Daenerys tells Jorah and Ser Barristan: “You’re both here to advise me. I value your advice. But if you ever question me in front of strangers again, you’ll be advising someone else.” And similarly after being crowned King in the North, Jon tells Sansa: “You are my sister, but I am king now. When you question my decisions in front of the other lords and ladies, you undermine me.” (Emphasis mine.) In both cases, I think the point was pretty clearly not ‘You cannot criticize me’, but rather ‘You cannot publicly undermine my authority’.

Arthur doesn’t need to tell Gawain this. Gawain knows. And I think you get a powerful sense of the trust between them from this short moment: Gawain trusts that he can speak his mind freely to Arthur without consequences, but he waits to do so until it’s just the two of them. In return, Arthur doesn’t stand on his ego but listens humbly and accepts Gawain’s criticism. I think it’s particularly fascinating that he tells Gawain he’s spoken courteously. On the face of it, “You have behaved like a child, and I am astonished” doesn’t sound remotely courteous - it sounds downright rude, in fact. And yet Arthur clearly doesn’t think so. He not only admits that Gawain is right, he endorses the way he said it as correct and praiseworthy.

I think that’s a great demonstration of how Gawain’s courtesy isn’t just a synonym for “polite”: it’s about his ability to follow social codes for correct behavior. Here, the measure of his courtesy isn’t that he always minces words, but that he understands when it is and isn’t acceptable to speak bluntly.

And I think it’s telling, too, that even when he’s basically telling Arthur off, he still addresses him formally as “Lord”. That might seem like a meaningless formality when the rest of what he’s saying seems anything but respectful, but I don’t think it is. I think it’s a constant reminder that Gawain never forgets Arthur is his king, or the respect that’s due to him, even when he’s openly questioning his decisions. He might seem harsh, but yet it's always tempered by a fundamental deference and he's careful never to overstep those lines.

He knows his place, not in the sense of being a doormat, but in the most literal sense of understanding the multiple - in some ways conflicting - roles he occupies and the expectations thereof: As Arthur's nephew, his knight, his subject, his advisor and right-hand man, arguably his friend and/or surrogate son (or brother, depending on your interpretation) as well. The fact that he manages to thread that needle so well is a testament to just how intelligent and socially adept he is, and the fact that Arthur gives him leave to speak his mind so bluntly to him in private is a huge testament to the mutual trust and respect between them.

[our-lesboy-experience]

Hi, I’m sorry in advance because this will be a long ask.

Is it okay for me to use the label lesboy even if I don’t connect with being a boy/man? I’ve been debating whether or not I should use the label.

For context, I’m a trans agender person who’s identified as a girl for most of their life, before they knew they were trans. And I do feel attraction towards girls and enby people in a way that’s definitely queer, which would make me a lesbian through definition.

However, I’ve never liked the lesbian label used for me because the label “lesbian” is usually associated with girls and women, despite the label also including enby people, multigender people, and even some men and boys. Using a label that’s associated with women makes me feel dysphoric, and I’m also scared that it will make people think I’m a girl if they saw me wearing lesbian flags/pins or saying I’m lesbian.

The term lesboy does feel like it applies to me, but I don’t experience a connection to being a boy/man or things like that. I do feel like I would much rather pass as a boy than a girl, but that’s about when the connection ends.

I guess what I’m describing is, I’m a lesboy but enby/agender, if that makes sense.

So what do you think? I do want to hear your opinion, because I truly don’t know what to do. Also, if you say it doesn’t fit me, that’s okay, because I already use the neptunic label to describe my attraction towards girls/enby people.

Sorry again for the long ask, and have a good day!!

• Raven, any/all except she/her

(PS. This is my first time using the name Raven. I’m trying it out. I can’t tell what my feelings for it are yet.)

first of all, it is not up to me to decide what label correctly fits anyone because I am not them. And I mean that as a "I can't tell someone they aren't allowed to use this label," because I'm just not in that position to tell anyone that, and if they fell a connection to that label that is their business and not mine

secondly, that's actually a pretty normal way to use lesboy. it is just another term that anyone can use as a form of gender expression, to use lesboy but not also lesbian or to call yourself lesboy without actually being a man/boy is totally fine. I do normally define it through "being a lesbian with some connection to manhood/boyhood," but as a means of simplicity for what it is for most people, and by connection I normally mean in any sort of way, including like "just uses the word but doesn't actually identify as a boy." imo anyone who has a queer/gay attraction to women can use lesboy, because it can mean something different to each person. I normally think of it working similarly to genderqueer

So yeah, feel free to use whatever suits you best Raven :]

[luminousjellyfishy]

i need an expert's opinion

would Error be a unicorn, pegasus or an earth pony?

Oh I am far from an expert on MLP anything but I’ll try??

Or were you calling me an expert on Error? :D

I know nothing about it so anything here is based off of this: https://www.reddit.com/r/mylittlepony/comments/tafmhg/pros_and_cons_of_earth_pegasus_and_unicorn_ponies/t

Also I’m going to keep these as close to canon Error as possible

ALSO ALSO, I’ll say my reasons for why he wouldn’t be something so you can have more to go off of and make your own opinions

Underneath the cut because it got a bit out of hand-

Ok, here I go

I don’t think Error would be a pegasus because he doesn’t seem like that fast of a guy? Like I mean honestly, Lucidia!Error wears flip flops and Ask!Error wears slippers. I mean, even without them, he doesn’t seem like he’s all that athletic; especially considering that his strings are how he catches the majority of his opponents, so there’s no real chase. Also for the cold rest resistance part, I’ve often seen Error’s glitches described as burning, so I think that he probably wouldn’t do well in high altitudes since he’d be likely better acclimated to heat. I don’t know if ‘burning’ is a canon description for the glitches though- The sucky part of saying he wouldn’t be a pegasus though is that he most definitely would have great reflexes due to his haphephobia and his instincts from being nearsighted.

Next up is that I don’t think he would be an earth pony because he’s pretty strong magically? He’s literally the destroyer of AUs, so I can’t see him being something without some form of technical magic. Also, I don’t think he’d be that strong physically because he relies on his strings so much for everything. He has to lift up this random thing to get underneath (for whatever reason)? He’ll just use his strings instead of his hands. Also, all of his demolition is through his magic (strings, larger than average blasters, bones, code, etc.) and none of it appears to rely on physical strength, which is what earth ponies seem to be about. There’s also the ‘nature connection’ mentioned in the Reddit post and applying that to Error is laughable. He couldn’t care less about AUs and their happenings, so I don’t think there would be any connection. If there was, then his ‘job’ would likely suffer since he would potentially not want to harm the AU residents/AUs themselves.

Moving on, this leaves me with saying I think he’d be a unicorn. He seems to have high levels of magic (remember, AU destroyer) and he’s coherent in reading code (Ask!Error comic- probability of Underswap existing). The magic levels are self-explanatory, but reading code is applicable since he would require decent mental capabilities in order to understand and decipher it. Also just to get access to it in the first place, although that likely has to do with him being a glitch. Another point (which is based on a comment on that post) is that he’s mentally unstable. In order to balance his high magic, it would make sense that he’d have mental issues, displaying themselves as his insanity. There’s also that I think that unicorns would be very reliant on their magic for even very trivial and menial things, which Error most definitely would be. I mean seriously, he uses his portals to steal from Underfell, his strings for a decent portion of combat and to bring down his puppets, and his windows to watch Undernovela. LIKE HONESTLY, the guy tried making Blue fight Underswap Papyrus instead of fighting him himself, which while it does make sense with context, it still goes to show that he’d rather use his ‘puppets’ to do his dirty work than do it himself.

So-

Um. Yeah.

I hope this helps!!

[thatone-churro]

okay. i know it’s a very bad idea to seek mental health advice from the internet, especially tumblr of all places, but i have a genuine question about this.

actually, before i get too far, i guess i should add some context about myself:

i’m fairly talkative in a certain sense. i like talking. if i start talking about something i like, or if i get excited while talking, i can talk a lot. when i’m alone, i tend to talk to myself a lot. just verbalizing thoughts, mostly; talking myself through a strategy, just voicing my thoughts as i play through a video game, or sometimes just babbling as though i’m talking to someone else. this is a frequent thing and not the root of my concern.

course, sometimes i talk a little less in public or in certain social situations if i’m not “invited” to speak too (more than just being spoken to first, but that’s another explanation i don’t want to go into right now), but i’ve always been like that; something, something, i know it’s more about social anxiety or something that i know i inherited and is a different discussion for a different day.

so, every now and then i have these days where, for lack of a better description, talking feels like it takes too much energy. even that doesn’t feel like it explains it properly but. like the same struggle to get out of bed on a rough day. like somehow speaking, the act of opening my mouth and forcing words out of my throat, takes too many spoons. the same way it feels like taking a shower or brushing your teeth has too many steps despite it being a simple process when your depression’s acting up (we’ll get back to this comparison in a minute).

i can tell when these days come on before i even have to speak to someone; it feels like my words are stuck in my throat. i mean that physically; there’s not actually something in my throat, but there’s a weight of some sort.

i’ve taken to calling these days “quiet days,” since this feeling affects just about everything associated with talking; making myself talk is a struggle; i can’t even talk to myself and all those monologues and discussions happen inside my head instead, but i can’t verbalize them; i don’t want people to talk to me on these days, as in there’s a deliberate, subconscious feeling already there on those days, not that i’m not wanting to talk because of the other feelings; actively listening to and comprehending things people say is also an effort to do, and i tend to tune out my music or whatever background noise i set for myself more than usual; i’ve recently discovered that this same feeling is applied to singing, much to my dismay, because i found this out on a day i kinda wanted to sing.

it’s not that i can’t speak on these days, i can physically make myself if i have to, it just takes more conscious effort sometimes than something like speaking should.

now, i used to chalk this up to being standard nonverbal bouts. i’d heard those were common among neurodivergents, and while i’m not officially diagnosed with anything (classic “everyone does that”/“that’s just something you got from me” type childhood), a lot of symptoms for both ADHD and autism (that i’ve heard of/looked into) match up pretty sharply with me.

however, no accounts from actually autistic people that i’ve read who go nonverbal at times really match up with my experiences. for me, it’s never a response to stress, anxiety, or overstimulation; it’s just something that happens on any given day and sometimes ebbs and flows throughout the day (as in sometimes it’s easier in some parts of the day, but not others, without any particular cue), and it’s never me going absolutely nonverbal, just a preference not to speak from it feeling like it’s too much to do sometimes.

remember that comparison i made to having to speak on “quiet days” feeling like trying to do basic things on bad depression days? yeah, i noticed on a day it hit that it felt very much like that, because i did feel it earlier that day; i found trying to make myself sing or even talk to myself out loud somehow felt like a process with too many steps and i didn’t have enough energy, just like trying to get out of bed that morning (to the point that i didn’t “get up” until that afternoon).

so, all that text and explanation leads to my one question: are these bouts and “quiet days” more from “going nonverbal” as a “symptom” of autism, or simply a symptom of my depression? or can it be chalked up to anything else at all? i’ve never seen or read anything about this on either side, and if it’s something from my depression, then that’s gonna make me take it much more seriously than i have been in the past. or like, is it just me and not anything at all?

any advice appreciated 🙏

[cabeswaterdrowned]

🔥 anything tsc related

the biggest problem with Queen of Air and Darkness to me is that it really should have been two books. I really enjoy the grief exploration in that book in the wake of Livvy’s death felt cathartic to me on reread and I find Julian’s switch-off arc in relation to that fascinating. I enjoy Thule in terms of how it ties into the main arc with the blackthorns although I’m not crazy about the twp set ups from it. Basically there’s quite a bit in that book I do like but as a finale it’s rushed and disappointing. I also do think either Julian or Emma or both dying would have made the ending slay and I say this as someone who clearly looooves them both and Blackstairs (considering how much I love blackstairs as it is think I would be even more insane about it if we got full tragic potential realized).

Grace x Lucie is thee toxic yuri dynamic in tsc and I think ya’ll are cowards for not paying attention to it. Literally the only reason I would reread tlh is to write fic about them ChoI era because someone should.

on a related note Lucie Herondale reads as a lesbian to me, she says at one point she’s never been attracted to a boy other than Jesse who is kind of a phantom she can make into whatever she wants / project storybook romance tropes onto in a sense for most of the books and she reads as more attracted to Cordelia with the whole ‘Beautiful Cordelia’ fanfiction and like I said her most interesting dynamic with the most chemistry is her and Grace, so yeah I get comp het vibes personally I know that’s my subjective read.

I’m pretty neutral on Clary sometimes I really liked her sometimes I was frustrated by her but I do think this counts as unpopular since most either hate or love her. I do think she falls into the 2010s heroine who is written to have an overly romantically focused arc but all her interesting bits of characterization are about tangential platonic dynamics that the author doesn’t care to elaborate on much… but also this could be an ungenerous or overly generous assessment since it’s been years since I touched og tmi. I do side eye some people for giving Jace a lot of grace to be ‘complex’ and process his trauma and be dismissive of how much she goes through in the books ( I kind of hate Jace. without nuance)

I think I deserve one on one Tessa and Julian interactions in twp, not for any logical reason I just think I deserve it since they’re my two favorite tsc characters. And there’s a lot of fan service in recent tsc anyway… let me have this.

Kieran is overrated I don’t dislike him and enjoy him in the context of Kierarktina and as a foil to Julian, but I don’t fervently love him the way a lot of people do. (I also really disliked his fandom when the tda books were coming out so that might influence this).

I want Thule! Emma to come into play in twp … I’m very interested in the idea of her in the aftermath of Thule Julian and Sebastian’s deaths. I had an idea for a fic about her but didn’t write it partly because of laziness partly because I felt I’d have to go back to tmi to remember endarkened lore for that.

Grace Blackthorn discourse was kind of unserious… not because I don’t think people can have valid reasons to dislike her obviously those exist. What she did to James was sexual assault and of course fans who hate her for it are valid. But I COULD NOT with some of statements about her especially on twitter that were like ‘well if she was a Male Character ya’ll would never forgive her and she would never get a redemption arc she only does cause she’s a pretty white girl’ like GORL. GORL what universe are you living in what paranormal/fantasy media do you consume and engage in fandoms for if you think that a male character who does a nebulous magical consent violation is going to get Less grace (no pun intended) from the narrative and fandom than a female character and would NEVER get a redemption arc. I can’t even ya’ll are dumb. If I’m being really generous maybe they just don’t read/watch a lot of paranormal media other than tsc because otherwise I…

Thanks for the ask <3

(send me a 🔥+topic/fandom and I’ll give some unpopular opinions)

[pynkhues]

Not that this should influence how the show is written, but I do kind of wonder what revealing Armand lied about his relationship with Lestat will do to an audiences ability to engage with anything Armand says again. I was just talking about this with someone at work who also watches the show. She doesn’t have any engagement with the books or fandom so I’m not sure what segment of the audience that represents, but through taking to her I can see a real concern that with the season 2 finale and the trial reveals, adding another thing Armand lied about will create a…hierarchy of narrator let’s say? Like whatever Armand says will be a taken as a lie first and foremost which, admittedly, could be fun, but wasn’t what I thought the show was going for. Anyway, I can see where if not handled well Armand could become very flat…especially if his lies aren’t examined with his interiority (the self-gaslighting, which I agree with and honestly think all people do to some extent- he just does it more than average haha).

I do not envy these writers - turning ARs constant retcons via “unreliable narrators” into an actual story of nuanced unreliable narrators is a tough gig.

(x)

Yeah, I think they're going to have to be really careful with Armand's arc in s3 in general, not just because of the lying and gaslighting, but because he does some pretty terrible things in TVL that could as you said flatten him as a character, and even maybe put him into full villain territory, which - - yeah, I don't think the show's trying to go for either.

I do have faith in the writers - like I think they did a pretty masterful job in 2.07 of questioning Louis both with the fight leading up to the drop and Claudia's turning without actually undermining his truth/honesty. Lestat's version added context and texture, but if anything, only made both moments more devastating, not less.

It's a different conversation with Armand, of course - after all, Louis' arc has been about the falliability of memory and the lies we tell ourselves to survive trauma (and I actually wouldn't describe Louis as a liar at all, despite the fact that he does lie both indirectly and directly), whereas Armand does lie in order to control the environment around him and the people within it.

In that sense, I don't think they'll go entirely the 2.07 route of alternate truths simply providing more context and making things more complicated, exactly, but I can see them doing a bit of that? Like I said in that last ask, he's definitely motivated in how he's depicting Lestat, but there's enough real truth in what he's saying too to ground it in a version of reality. How they try to navigate that - - I don't know! They will have to be careful though with Lestat feeling like an arbiter of truth, although honestly, I think they've done enough to make Lestat unreliable already. The fact that they're really leaning into Lestat as a character who's honest when he has to be, but also just generally avoids certain conversations and topics, especially those that are sources of pain for him, therefore constantly lying by omission, I think is something they could have a lot of fun with narratively.

Back to Armand though, these asks have been making me wonder if they might go boy-who-cried-wolf with him, and play around with his lying only to have him not believed on something that's actually real down the track? It's probably a bit simplistic for this show, haha, but I definitely think there's a wealth of stuff there to explore.