#bitch I would die for God too. what the fuck
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babyrdie · 3 days ago
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Okay, I have something to confess… none of the deaths in The Iliad were sad for me. Aside from the amount of randoms dying, let's consider Patroclus and Hector here because I honestly don't remember the rest.
Patroclus: I genuinely couldn't be sad. Sure, I was sad about the characters' reactions to Patroclus' death (for example, Antilochus running and crying and Achilles' depressive episode), but not about his final battle itself. I'm sorry, guys, but it was funny to read him about to die being petty and saying to Hector something like "you idiot, you only killed me because Zeus and Apollo helped you. Face me alone and I'll kill you! I'll kill you multiple times! Anyway, Achilles is going to kick your ass hahahahahaha he's going to kick your ass SO MUCH". Like, dude, you're DYING. What's YOUR problem, you looked your KILLER in the face and said "actually ☝️ I can kill you". And okay, even if we think it's true that two gods helped Hector… MAN, WHAT KIND OF MIND DO YOU HAVE TO HAVE TO DECIDE THAT YOUR LAST WORDS ARE GOING TO BE ACCUSING YOUR KILLER OF BEING WEAKER THAN YOU. If I were Hector I would respond something like "man, fuck you, you're dying!!!"
Hector: I also couldn't be sad about the death itself. It was sad to see Priam begging, Andromache talking about being enslaved, etc. But the moment of the battle? Sorry, the battle was hilarious. In Book 16, Patroclus was there spitting blood and dying while still using his last breath to be like "I didn't lose, YOU will lose" to Hector (man that was petty) and Hector was like "Achilles? He's not going to kick my ass, I AM going to kick his ass". And then he goes and prepares to fight Achilles alone, despite his understandably worried parents, because he needs to defend the city and it's a touching moment and you understand Hector's decision, but you still feel like it's suicidal, but hey…he seems confident. And you think that this is where the typical epic fight will happen, especially since he responded to Patroclus' threat by insinuating that he would defeat Achilles. But no, he sees Achilles approaching with a murderous aura around him and decides that he's going to run. And he DOESN'T stop. They run around the walls of Troy while the Trojans watch…what is this, a stadium where you watch the action from above? And then you're like "man, how long are they going to run?" and apparently Athena thought so too because she goes and tricks Hector into stopping running. And then you think okay, now it's the epic fight. But no, they're throwing spears at each other and exchanging harsh words while Athena shows her favoritism by helping Achilles. And then Hector is dying and he's like "Paris and Apollo are gonna kill you!!!!" and Achilles is like "bitch, look at my face and tell me if I look like someone who wants to live."
And as an honorable mention, we have two other funny no-death-all-teasing moments!
One of them is Achilles running after Apollo. Bitch, I know you're mad, but that's a GOD. Hurting a god is already a rare feat, do you really think you're going to be able to kill him or something? You got your ass kicked by Scamandrius despiste your confidence (another hilarious scene, actually), man, Apollo isn't on your level. I KNOW YOU'RE MENTALLY UNSTABLE IN THIS SCENE, BUT MAN. Apollo actually taunting Achilles is also hilarious. He is a god that's thousands of years old and he's arguing with this guy who can't even be 30 years-old. This guy who, like, Apollo's stepmother (Hera) acts like he's just Thetis' baby (Hera defending Achilles be like: well, he was suckled on the divine breasts of Thetis! Thetis, a goddess! Goddess that I raised!!!). Like, man, I know you want to kill him, just kill him. No need to trade taunts like you're in the same position or something. My theory is that Apollo was in a bit of an Book 1 Achilles situation. Achilles wanted to kill Agamemnon, but Athena stopped him, so the only option left was to curse him. Apollo wants to kill Achilles, but fate exists and it's not Achilles' time to die. So okay, he'll do the second best thing: provoke him. Like, it is SO personal lol
The other moment is Aeneas. Apollo encouraging Aeneas to fight Achilles because his mother is Aphrodite and Achilles' mother is Thetis, and since Aphrodite is more powerful than Thetis, surely Aeneas is stronger than Achilles, right? Aeneas then goes on and gives Achilles a huge speech. He goes on and on about how his mother is Aphrodite, about how he won't be intimidated, about how he won't be just another one... then Achilles kicks his ass SO hard that Poseidon has to step in and take Aeneas away. And Achilles cares SO MUCH about Aeneas that he's like "oh, a god helped you. Okay then" and goes back to fighting. And let's face it, if Achilles had any interest in Aeneas, he wouldn't care that the gods want Aeneas alive. He literally commits sacrilege with Hector's and tries to go after Apollo, he just didn't go after Aeneas because he apparently doesn't care enough about him. Man, Aeneas, that was humiliating. All that confident speech for that.
I'm seeing a pattern here, actually:
Patroclus "I could kill you!!!" to Hector while being killed by Hector. Okay, man…but dead people don't fight! At least you can brag that you beat Sarpedon if you care so much about proving your skills even while you're dying, I guess.
Hector "hahaha I'll kick Achilles' ass, that threat doesn't affect me!" to Patroclus and then running after seeing Achilles. Running for his entire life if it weren't for Athena. Is this the swift-footed Hector we see running for the third time?????
Achilles "I'm the best of the Greeks! I'm the peak! I'm THE MAN" to Scamandrius and then having to desperately be saved. Dude was defeated by SCAMANDRIUS and thought he could chase APOLLO. GUY IS THE SON OF A NEREID AND ALMOST DIED IN THE WATER.
Aeneas "my mother is Aphrodite, your mother is Thetis. I'm the chad, you're the virgin. That's how we are, you understand?" and then having to desperately be saved. It's even funnier when you think about how he was like "well, his mom is Thetis and she is a Nereid, not a Olympian…" BITCH DIOMEDES ISN'T EVEN A DEMIGOD AND YOU WOULD DIE IF IT WEREN'T FOR APHRODITE. HOW THE HELL DID YOU THINK YOUR MOTHER BEING APHRODITE WOULD MAKE YOU STRONGER THAN ACHILLES IF YOU WERE NOT STRONGER THAN A GUY WHO IS NOT EVEN A DEMIGOD.
But well, Hector, Patroclus and Achilles are all characters I adore. Aeneas I don't have a strong opinion of, truth be told (no, I haven't read The Aeneid). And yes, this post is completely immature. I've made many posts giving serious opinions, let me be honest about how I felt in these scenes even if they weren't written to be funny.
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the-valiant-valkyrie · 1 month ago
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audrey redheart wandersong drives me so insane it’s sickening. i make myself sick thinking about that freak. and i could talk about the obvious stuff- like how she wanted to be a hero to be revered and by the end of the game no one even thinks about her anymore- but i’m going deeper than that.
audrey was a bad hero. not because she’s immoral (even though she is) and not because she’s self centered (even though she is). but she straight up does not have the necessary skills for the task at hand.
audrey can’t speak the shapes-and-colors language of the overseers. granted, kiwi couldn’t either, at first, but that was easily resolved by an overseer, and eyala probably could have done the same thing, too. miriam canonically studied and learned the language just like anyone else would learn any other language.
but audrey doesn’t know it. whatever the overseers say is just colorful nonsense to her… you would think it would be pretty helpful to a heroic quest to be able to understand the language of your opponents.
but if you’re not supposed to know what you’re doing, it makes sense not to be able to glean any context from the ‘monsters’ you’re killing, doesn’t it?
audrey’s meant to be a high society big shot, but she can’t even recognize what a potion of power is supposed to look like?
kiwi sees her as a cold blooded killer, but when she’s deprived of her sword, she can’t even improvise?
audrey skips over overseers (like going to the queen of winds after chapter 3, when for all intents and purposes it’d be easier to do them in the same order kiwi’s doing them in), and the more you think about it, it really does seem like she was barred from encountering the overseers at all until kiwi freed up the nexus point first.
if audrey was a hero- The Hero- shouldn’t she have been able to do that herself??
audrey isn’t a hero. or, at least, she wasn’t chosen to be a hero. because if a hero was chosen, things wouldn’t have gone to plan. they would have stopped.
audrey didn’t have to be a hero. she just had to be isolated, cynical, desperate for attention, and obedient enough to follow orders without asking questions.
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philiponmycracker · 5 days ago
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Being an absolute cunty little bitch to the hot doctor who's doing his best to help you. Oh you lucky you almost died and still that pretty, boy, because I personally think Dr. Chandler should have just spanked your cute butt right there in gif n.1
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nonokoko13 · 1 year ago
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Friendly reminder that being queer/LGBT ally/jewish/pro-semitism isn't, can't and shouldn't be used to justify and support ethnic cleansing, colonization and genocide. If you do think so then I don't want you to talk to me ever again 👉🚪
#from the river to the sea palestine will be free#free palestine#“BUT IF YOU LIVED THERE THEY'D KILL YOU” bitch people from my own country would rather see me dead for existing too#just because minorities are oppressed by their governments doesn't mean the citizens deserve to die#they're just weaponizing people sexualities and you are buying into their “noble” reasoning#“it is a war not a genocide” isn't it weird that the only side that is being censored for speaking about what's happening to them#are the Palestinians?#in pro palestine protests people don't yell death to Israel they yell they want freedom and ceasefire#if you think “from the river to the sea palestine will be free” is somehow the same as a (death) threat the problem is on you#and yes you can question Israel without being antisemitic. People can be jew and/or queer and be against them#this dehumanization shouldn't be answered with indifference or “they deserved it lol” BIG FUCK YOU#not sorry if this is how you find out what side I'm with. If talking about this makes you uncomfortable or offended feel free to unfollow m#tener que decir algo que debería ser universal y de sentido común me toca mucho los huevos#when I say I prefer to be drama free I mean about fandom discourse. Never about war crimes and violation of human rights#“if they don't want to get bombed just leave” THAT'S NOT THE SOLUTION THEY DESERVE TO LIVE IN THEIR LAND WITHOUT GETTING ATTACKED FOR IT#god dammit#I'll be back to being silly later but first I wanted to get this out of my chest#🍉
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chiistarri · 7 months ago
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what if instead of messaging me in the middle of the night about your stupid fucking girlfriend and your stupid fucking problems with her you actually act like my fucking friend and message me like how you message everyone else in our group
#bye ignore my venting bigger problems what fucking ever#im sick of her ass she only messages us for us to help her with her fucking girlfriend problems like we arent even friends atthis fckn point#and i love her shes so funny whatever but god shes literally the worst because i just want to be friends i dont fucking care ab her goddamn#selfish ass gf thats shes obsessed with. be obsessed tell me about it but cant we be friends ab other stuff too#we used to be her 'favorite friend' cause we shared so many interests and we hung around what fucking ever but fuck that right#get a gf and just use us to help better yalls relationship without even telling her you're sharing her private msgs w us huh yeah sure#what fucking ever im so done with this bitch and i cant even get my contacts out cause i have long nails and im js poking my eye#AND SHE WOULD NEVER BE SORRY if our friendship fell apart she would tell everyone i was jealous of her gf or what ever i literally dont care#she was like an older sister before i dont get why getting a gf would have to change shit like ok good for u but what ab us#what about me its not even fucking fair like is it that hard to keep up w ur friends?? NO its fucking not#taking me so long to write a post bc im still fucking helping her with her stupid dumb selfish idiotic gf omfg#just BREAK UP i literally dont fucking care just leave her if she makes u unhappy its literally online tf is she gonna do to u nothing omfg#why am i the one being punished when shes the one with the stupid dumb gf that hates her and herself i dont fucking care i js want m friend#and i cant tell any of our mutual friends cause she dont do that to them its js me so itd be like im being dramatic#and like shit i guess i am but i dont care atp thats all she ever talks to me ab like ok i get it i helped u but stop jfc#but if i said that we'd never talk again bc what fucking ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! cause im just dramatic whatever#if u cant resolve these simple problems of communication on ur own then maybe u shouldnt be in a relationship idk js my thoughts! die#sry the 1 person who knows what xactly i mean is asleep and im so tired of getting late night msgs being like hii can u help me SHUT UP#id love to help if we were actually still fucking friends but we arent so js leave me alone bruh#post#nickpost#will delete in morning my mom keeps telling me to put my phone down bt i need 2 say smfh 2 some1#i hate change i hate slight differences in my normal day to day i hate everything i hate not having smth to rely on i hate change i hate it#sry im alg now im js sick of her ass js leave bruh#nimbhe my moms yelling im tired anyway i need to js isolate myself forever no problems if im on an island alone#living my best life in the shade drinking idk water or whatever and just talking to myself bc who even needs friends right!!!!!!!!#its 11:11 make a wjsh#adding more cz whatever im deleting this ltr anyway#its so clear where i stand with everyone cause its always close but not close enough friendly but not friends and i guess its the same w her#bye im out of tags etc whatever nobody matching my freak ever never comfortable in any friendships
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opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year ago
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...
#i spend so mad god damn time bitching on this website. its bc i dont talk to ppl. whens the last time i had a non functional conversation?#uuuuhhh last weekend or maybe the weekend before that? so like i gotta complain somewhere. so if i stop complaining u can assume i made#friends lmao. ugh. its just. im worried. im worried abt how this semester is gonna go. how this phd program is gonna go#bc i spent the last 2 years destroying myself. realized ive gotta stop doing that. haven't figured out how to stop and now im gonna triple#the amount of pressure im under while trying to do things in a more healthy way. its just like. it objectively doesnt seem like a formula#for good things to happen. im more worried for how catastrophic its gonna b on my brain than i am abt the things i think most ppl would b#concerned abt. like im not worried abt planning and executing a project or teaching beyond fear of the unknown#its like. ive done these things before. theyre difficult but u make due and tackle the problems. but when it comes to: how to maintain a#healthy school/life balance? i dont even kno where to start with that. i just dont bc when u have a learning disability things just take#more time but like how much time is too much? where does it end? i dont kno how to manage it and i dont wanna hate my project by the end#of this. i want to b excited and not paralyzed bc im afraid i cant change my behavior and its gonna kill me#and im worried bc im meeting with my advisor for the 1st time since march before i agreed to join thr lab and have i prepared for this#project which is almost complete unrelated to what i did in my last lab? no bc ive been managing data and im still not done managing data#bc i cant focus bc i collected that data in a way that was actively self destructive. and i mean i kno itll b fine. thr guy seems nice i#just hate that im showing up devoid of enthusiasm bc its all been drowned out by the fear. and thats also gonna make teaching a problem#bc its hard to b excited abt things when there's a hole in your chest and ur desperate for someone to tell u how to fix it. but idk helping#ppl does usually make me feel better so maybe itll b a good thing. forgot how much i feel like im dying when i sit in meetings and#classroom tho lol. god its been 2yrs since i was a student. classes feel like such bullshit now. and yet if i dont get all As i might die#my students better b good. i have the 1st lab section bc thr lead ta couldnt do that time. so im the trial lab and i start fucking Monday#who tf does labs the 1st week of class? ugh. also its an intro bio so like 2/3 of thr class r freshman. lil bby 18yos and some r non bio#majors. and ive been warned that sometimes there r problems with ppl who don't believe in evolution and cause problems. pls let my classes#b good. im not that worried. its just gonna b annoying as fuck. im not good at being authoritative#ugh. i should b reading papers so i dont look like too much of an idiot tomorrow. itll b fine im just an anxious freak. a lil over a week#until i can try to find a therapist. probably seek medication bc i dont kno how else to stop this bullshit. annoying. i grew up with a dad#who gets anxious abt the idea of taking too much medication when he tskes a single ibuprofen. in this household we feel pain and then we#die miserable. this is all his fault. we have the same brain.im just a lil more irradidic than him#its so funny i say that bc im like the least irradic person ever. i do the same things every god damn day. im just irradic in terms of#sometimes i feel like my brain is on fire and im a cry bby lol#whatever. enough bitching. ive got papers to read. or maybe ill just go to bed and read them tomorrow 🙄#unrelated
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roaringheat · 1 year ago
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HOSEA AND LENNY??? UR SHITTING ME RN
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baambied · 1 month ago
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↪streamer!ellie headcannons
m.list
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↳ 𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘮𝘦𝘳 𝘦𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘦 ━━ her setup isn't the cleanest, old soda cans taking up most of the room... her stream can always spot one in the corner of the screen. One day, it's an old pepsi can, and another day, it's an old sprite can.
↳ 𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘮𝘦𝘳 𝘦𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘦 ━━ type of person to play roblox games on her stream (especially the scary ones) in her words roblox games are the types of games LEGENDS play
↳ 𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘮𝘦𝘳 𝘦𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘦 ━━ wifi quality is ASS her fans always wonder how tf she's able to stream, like you're watching the screen and suddenly it freezes before resuming and she's not even on screen anymore (she went to get some snacks)
↳ 𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘮𝘦𝘳 𝘦𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘦 ━━ cringest person ever, but hey, at least she's free
↳ 𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘮𝘦𝘳 𝘦𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘦 ━━ when she first started streaming no one knew how she looked like and it wasn't because she didn't show her face it was because her camera quality was so fucking bad to the point no one could clearly see her (but her voice would always go viral)once she did get a new camera her chat went CRAZY which really confused her
"okay chat! so my old ass uncle got me a new camera so how we looking!" ellie said with a stupid goofy grin on her face as she made sure the camera was straight, she than sat down as she looked at the chat.
"uh chat..what's happening- why are you guys acting like you've never seen my face before.." the auburn girl asked quietly in confusion and slightly concerned as she looked at the comments from her stream.
@abczoobys: ZOO WEE MAMA GURL UR FINEEEE
@lesbodotcom: omg we can actually see ypuuuu
@lesbinsmtime:can ur gf fight?
@bigDINAenergy: finally you got rid of that crusty grainy ass camera
@cybergurk67:GURL UR FINEEEEEE
@calokuchis: is that a strap in the back?
@nosoundwhere5:replying to @lesbinstime yk damn well this ho don't get bitches 🤣🤣
"DINA SHUT UP!" ellie yelled in defense for her old, well beloved camera with her voice cracking in the process "OH MY GOD GUYS WAS MY CAMERA THAT BAD?????"
↳ 𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘮𝘦𝘳 𝘦𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘦 ━━ her headset can't even fit on her head for some odd reason, literally looks like the top is floating which her chat always points out but she just says in defense while touching it "guys it's literally supposed to be like this" with a little stupid grin
↳ 𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘮𝘦𝘳 𝘦𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘦 ━━ would stop the game to take little breaks and happily show the chat a new t-shirt she got with a stupid slogan "yo chat i got a new shirt- this shit is fireee"
↳ 𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘮𝘦𝘳 𝘦𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘦 ━━ sometimes she accidentally streams without turning on her other camera so the stream can't see what she's playing, it would literally just be her face in the camera and that's it and the chat is just confused cause they can't see what game she's playing.
"BRO BRO BRO HES CHASING ME CHAT CHAT DO YALL SEE THAT?! HES RIGHT BEHIND ME!" ellie yelled as she continuously hopped in her chair (lol??)
@sonicfasten: wtf
@user183838: can yall see what she's playing?
@usernma5e: her mic sounds horrible 😭
@gayhotqueen: this dumb bitch....
↳ 𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘮𝘦𝘳 𝘦𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘦 ━━ choice based games are her worst enemy, her chat genuinely got scared when she said that her next game she was gonna play was Detroit Become Human
↳ 𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘮𝘦𝘳 𝘦𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘦 ━━ swear she would literally discuss the choice with her chat and still end up picking the wrong answer
"GUYS GUYS I DIDN'T MEAN TO CLICK THAT WHAT THE FUCK!" ellie yelled in panic as she tried to click buttons on her controller to try to go back and start over
@sonicgam1ng: HES GONNA DIE NOW
@user6171781: how'd she manage to fuck this up
↳ 𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘮𝘦𝘳 𝘦𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘦 ━━ she sucke at shooting games, too, but claims she's actually really good at them (she's ass) "chat I'm about to go ham" she claims as she dramatically cracks her knuckels
"chat I swear I'm usually good at this game- im just nervous!"
@elliesgurls: bruh who tf told her to play this again...
@userhshh5: ..put the fries in the bag..
@sonicgoes: NEVER let her touch this game AGAIN
@girlsgoceazy4lesbians: SHES ACTUALLY SO ASSCHEEKS LMFAO
↳ 𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘮𝘦𝘳 𝘦𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘦 ━━ if she's playing a game and that involves a mic and hears a girl she'd tried to rizz them up "ohmygod is that a girl- chat I'm about to rizz her up" she says rubbing both her hands together, pretending to be nonchalant when in reality she's scared
@lizlivesuh: please don't ellie..
@cyberprinces6s: girl she don't want u
"hey what's ur name pret- OH MY GOD" ellie began to say before her voice cracked so BADLY she immediately rushed to leave the game as she repeated "chat that was so embarrassing that was embarrassing OH MY god"
↳ 𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘮𝘦𝘳 𝘦𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘦 ━━ she has a bruise on her forehead for constantly banging her head on her mic in front of her when she gets jumpscared by a scary game
↳ 𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘮𝘦𝘳 𝘦𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘦 ━━ one time joel popped up into her live chat cause a fan found his facebook and gave him a link to her twitch account, which happened to be unfortunate for her cause the time he commented was when she was playing a not so pg game
"guys i think we about to get naked right now i don't knowwwwwww" ellie exclaimed while shaking her head as she looked in the chat, her happy expression quickly faded as her she caught sight of the chat.
@username44: GUYS IS THAT REALLY ELLIES DAD?!
@boombox66: NO FUCKING WAY???
@user678889: BRO???
@lesbinsimisgpod: ELLIE UR DAD 😭😭
"GUYS WHOS DAD?!?" ellie yelled while pausing the game, her mouth halfway open as she looked through the chat in utter confusion
@joelmiller8: hey kiddo, I don't think you should be playing these types of games 🫶 but if it makes you happy
@joelmiller8: also you left your laundry out should I put it in the washer?
"WHAT THE FUCK, WHAT THE FUCK JOEL GET OUT!" the chat is all putting laughing emoji's and tagging joel in random post and comments....(joel recieved over 100 friend request after this😭..)
↳ 𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘮𝘦𝘳 𝘦𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘦 ━━ ever since roblox added the mic feature NO ONE could separate her from it, trust ellie WILL argue with children on any roblox game.
"that's why your mic sounds like your drowning!" the random kid in the game said as he ran up to ellie's ugly ass avatar, ellie literally has no chill "that's why i was drowning in your mom last night OUUUU YEAH HOE!"
@sonicrisen: HELLOOO???
@gogobro67: THAT'S A CHILD ELLIE 😭😭
@username6o7:BRO HELP I CANT STOPP ELLIE
this is literally her
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toji-bunny-girl · 4 months ago
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subby panty sniffer loser!shigaraki i cant stop thinking abt 😖
Shigaraki has always hated you.
Ever since All For One brought you in, and your jaded eyes first met his—you’ve always goaded an odd, frustrating burn in him. At first, you both merely ignored each other’s presence. And he has always preferred that. Then things soon got annoying when you started cozying up to him and trying to be friends with him. It’s fucking irritating and the burn gets worst the closer you press yourself into his space.
All it took for you to switch it up was his unrequited demeanour to your friendliness. It’s a bit too easy, really. A harsh word or two and a sneer at your face already got him on your bitch-list—just like everyone else would.
Everybody’s the same.
And you’re nothing special. That’s what he tells himself, repeatedly, over the years. Even when the glow in his belly comes alive whenever you brush pass him, his eyes memorised the curves of your grown body behind the curtains of his shaggy hair and god—the sweet, head-spinning scent of your underwear that sends his nerves tingling.
Yes, you’re nothing but a pest. A pest who always leaves her clothes in the laundry room, and often finds her panties gone without a trace.
Stupid and forgetful and—
“What…the hell?”
The hair on his nape flew erect, prickly dots snaked beneath his skin in a shot the moment he heard your voice—laced in utter disbelief and disgust.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck! You weren’t supposed to collect your laundry this early yet. Weren’t you supposed to be training with All for One?!
“So, you’re the panty thief?” you sneered at him, the same way he would at you. You would’ve never in a million years even think of the scene in front of you—Shigaraki Tomura, who openly despises you, rubbing his cock with your panty? “What a joke.”
His pale face grew crimson red from the blood that rushed through his pulsing veins, his pride ripped from his clutch with every blink of your eyes soaking the embarrassing sight of him. God, he wanted to die right then and there. He shouldn’t have initially neared your laundry before, he should’ve ignored the tugging burn that urged him to touch the remnants that enveloped your bare body, and you shouldn’t have came here in the first place!
His thoughts are chasing after his sanity, and his heart threatened to beat its hard last. You’re nearing him and his sweating form with every dreadful step, and his body had the guts to feel…excited—his cock throbbed and the familiar burn came roaring through his vessels again.
Just what are you doing to him?
You snatched the damp piece of underwear from his grasp, soaked with his sticky precum, and his cockhead twitched from the lost warmth that previously hugged his shaft.
He’s now bare, blood continued to pump his cock hard as you stared at the mere size of his—length and girth you’d never thought would be hiding behind his dirty clothes; tip flushed in a pretty shade of pale pink, and veins that stemmed from the bush of light blue. His heartbeat thumped loud in his ears as you looked, and he almost lost of your words from the beating.
“Is this some kind of perverted hobby you have? I always knew you’re weird, but not to this extent,” you threw your underwear aside before shoving him, his back roughly bumped into the wall behind. Fuck, he doesn’t know what to say—and what to do other than to watch how you’re reacting to this twisted mess.
You’re staring at his twitching cock when his gaze flickered to your face, his hot panting hazed the air and it scorched your cheeks in a burnt shade. What are you thinking?
“It’s only fair for me to touch you after you’ve been jerking off to my panty, right?” it’s almost a reassurance for your own self than to him. His eyes widened, pupils dilating as you wrapped your hand around his throbbing member.
“W-What are you doing?!” he bit his bottom lip to muffle a moan, fingers curling into fists against the wall, nails poking into his flesh.
“Entertaining myself with a freak like you,” you snickered, stroking his veiny shaft with your cold fingers. Shigaraki shuddered to your touch, the nerve-numbing burn soaring through his stomach as his chest rose and fell quicker by the second.
“Get your d-dirty hand off of me,” his breath hitched as he stretched his throat, pushing his head against the cool wall. His toes curled as you pumped his length, and his nerves tingled from the sight of you staring at his cock with that look in your eyes.
“You seem to enjoy it, hm? I thought you hated me, I can’t believe you’ve been busting over my fucking panty. Do you have a crush on me or what?”
“Y-You…hngh—bitch!”
“I didn’t know a mutt could talk…much less call me a bitch?” your grip tightened, unforgivingly so around his slippery cockhead, earning a pretentious grunt—which tumbled out of his chapped lips in the form of a pathetic moan. “What was that? You sound like a little girl,” his cheeks burned in embarrassment as you made fun of him, your snickers ringing in his hazy mind, taunting the pleasure that piled over his nerves. “I want an apology, you perverted loser.”
“N-No way—nngh!” Shigaraki’s sweat-glazed body jolted from every painful twist of your fingers, his thighs shaking from the way you’ve been abusing his cock; flashes of bloody ruby glinted from behind his greasy bangs. It’s funny, really. He thought he looks all fierce and intimidating when actually, he’s nothing but a slutty mess holding back his drool.
“It’s not a fucking request,” your hand wretched his face closer to yours, his eyes nearly melting under your flinty gaze.
“F-Fuwah—aanh!” his hips drew backwards in creeping sensitivity, and a loud slick sound bounced off of the lewd-seen walls as your nails flicked in contact with his twitching red tip.
“You know I’m impatient, hm? So hurry,” your thumb hastily rubbed over his leaking slit, splattering his pre-cum all over the both of your clothes. His body shook into your arms, jerking and whining as his hands scrambled to hold onto you for support.
“Mmmgh! Haa—” his weight slopped onto your body, and his heavy head rest against your shoulder as you continued to stoke his throbbing fat girth with your tightening grip. “So—aangh! S-Sorry, m’sorry!”
“Aww, who knew you’d sound cute when you all whiney,” your other hand rose to tilt his chin, his ruby eyes glistening with tears of desperation, drool slipping past his mouth as he clenched his teeth. “What a pathetic face.”
His hips pistoned into your hand, clumsily rocking forward and messing up the fine rhythm of strokes you had, his moans sounding more and more breathy—you could tell he was at the near edge. Drawing your face closer to him, your soft lips met his cracked ones just as a crooked cry leaped out of his dry throat, and you could feel his hot cum shooting onto your shirt, staining your top white with the smell of him.
Shigaraki stayed unmoving, merely gulped as you licked and wet his lips with your tender tongue, your saliva mixing and dripping down his chin. The burn in him wasn’t just a flame anymore, it had exploded into chains of reaction—his heart squeezed and insides bursted into a sloppy, chaotic mess.
Does he have a crush on you?
981 notes · View notes
landososcar · 11 months ago
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lover ; LN4
pairing(s) ; lando norris x swiftie!reader
summary ; in which y/n just wants to post pictures of her boyfriend, not expecting people to get the wrong idea
warnings ; smau, lots of fluff
note ; its 3am and i didn’t want to sleep til i finished this so idk what mistakes there probably is lmao😭 also just pretend the twitter stuff says 2024 i cba changing it all
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instagram ; yourusername
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liked by nando4lorris, carlossainz55 and others
yourusername i saw the dimples first and then i heard the accent 💓☺️
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user1 who are you
carlossainz55 you tagged the wrong account silly
yourusername you replied with the wrong account moron
nando4lorris you two aren’t slick
yourusename yeah ok mr nando lorris
nando4lorris you’re supposed to be on my side wtf
user2 i’m so lost 😭😭
user3 i’m confused someone explain
user4 babe everyone’s confused
user5 wait so is this carlos’ gf or not
user6 idk who you are but you’re hot as fuck
user7 ok i swear i’ve seen carlos wear that top in the 4th pic before
user8 yeah i think i’ve seen lando wearing it too tho
user9 but lando isn’t in this girls likes and comments
nando4lorris yeah guys you’re right she’s gotta be carlos’ girlfriend
yourusername nando4lorris fuck off i hate you so much 😭😭😭😭😭
user10 ????????
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instagram ; yourusername
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liked by landonorris, nando4lorris and others
yourusername i’d like to hang out with you for my whole life 🤗🧡
view all comments
user1 crying because lando liked on his main AND his burner (confirmed)
yourusername p.s. the tag in these pics is for PHOTO CREDS 😁
user2 LMFAOOO HER COMMENT
user3 girl said my mans is NOT carlos sainz jr🙅‍♀️
user4 i have so much to say
user5 the taylor love lyrics, the orange heart emoji, the flowers, the ladybugs, THE CAT CARDIGAN
user6 i think i would die for her
nando4lorris 🧡🧡
yourusername 🥰
carlossainz55 i thought you guys were still trying to be sneaky
yourusername carlos you’re the one making it hard to be sneaky
user7 oh it’s so lando
carlossainz55 oh well it’s been 4 years everyone already knew
user8 ITS BEEN WHAT JEHFKSKKS ????????
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instagram ; landonorris
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liked by oscarpiastri, maxverstappen1 and others
landonorris i’ve loved you (five) summers now honey but i want them all 😁😁
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user1 oh my god
user2 FIVEEEEE SUMMERS????? EVEN MORE THAN CARLOS SAID !/?;&2!@:9(
carlossainz55 i’m sorry i just guessed how many years because i didn’t know exactly just that its been a long long time
yourusername it’s ok carlos you were close
user3 SHES BEEN TO RACES AND NO ONES EVER SAID ANYTHING ABOUT HER OH MY GOD
maxverstappen1 finally mate
oscarpiastri wooo secrets out 🥳
user4 he used a taylor lyric for the caption im gonna be sick
user5 if you zoom in on the second pic you can actually see me drowning myself in the background
ciscanorris1 💓💓
yourusername love you🥰
user6 wait i don’t have twitter can someone explain
user7 oh BABE you’ve got some catching up to do
yourusername my fav boy love you to saturn ☺️🧡
landonorris i love you more than you love taylor swift🥰
yourusername ok settle down babe don’t go too far
landonorris no sorry you’re right
user8 when he understands that ones love for taylor is never beaten >>>>>
user9 i need them biblically
user10 i still don’t understand how they hid her for 5 years lmfaoooo
user11 yourusername ok y/n but did he take you to the eras tour
yourusername he got us tickets for a uk show later this year 🥰🥰
user12 now, how’d that curly haired vroom vroom bitch pull HER
liked by landonorris!
my other works !
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satorusugurugurl · 9 months ago
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Buzzed
Summary: Your boyfriend doesn’t drink. He’s a lightweight, never saw the appeal, and, well, it makes him horny.
Pairing: Gojo Satoru x FAB!Reader
Warnings: Whiny super whiny Gojo, handjob, public play, Gojo is just buzzed, not drunk consent is key, there are several reasons he doesn't like alcohol
Word Count: 2,307
A/N: this popped into my head at work. The need for Gojo to whimper and whine is intense.
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Gojo didn't drink. He had nothing against people who liked to drink; by all means, to each their own. He never liked the taste; he was a lightweight, and he'd rather spend his money on sweets. There, however, was another reason he didn't drink. One that was far too embarrassing to mention.
Whenever Satoru would drink, he'd get horny, like super horny.
So, it was safer for him to avoid alcohol altogether, which was pretty easy. That was until you both went to one of your co-workers' birthday party. You casually conversed with some friends while Gojo headed into the kitchen. He was in search of cake, but he found punch instead. He filled his glass, tentatively giving it a sip.
It didn't taste like there was alcohol in it, so he drank a full red solo cup. And he was working on his third in the living room when he felt like his blood was on fire. The room was hot, sweltering, and you, god, you looked even hotter. The tight-fitted shirt you wore emphasized the curves of your perfect body and breasts. Your ass looked amazing in your jeans, and your smile was to die for. God, why did you look like a goddess tonight?
There was a certain glow about you that drew him in like a moth to a light. He hummed, resting his chin on your shoulder, his body pressed firmly against your backside. Not only did you look good, but you smelt fucking delectable.
You turned your head, kissing his cheek before turning back to your friends, joining in with their conversation, leaning back into Satoru when you both felt it. The huge and very hard bulge in his pants had you choking on your words as Satoru straightened, glancing at you in sheer panic.
“Toru?” He grimaced at the tone of your voice. “Please tell me that's your phone.”
“It’s not,” he confirmed your fear.
“Can you get outside to the balcony?” A glance over his shoulder confirmed no one was remotely close to his sanctuary.
“Yeah.” His voice was so gravely as his cock twitched in his pants.
“Good, go on. I'll be out in a sec.”
The second Gojo stepped into the cool night air, he groaned, looking down at his pants. What the fuck? Why was he sporting the world's biggest boner of all time? Fuck, he was so hard it hurt. He slowly sank into the dark corner, resting his back against the window where the curtain was still drawn, waiting for you to join him.
A second later, the sliding glass door opened and shut. Gojo’s hands flew towards his crotch, shielding his erection from any prying eyes. When he saw you turn the corner, he released the breath he'd been holding, dropping his hands to his sides. Satoru shut his eyes tight, biting back a pained whine. All you could do was knit your eyebrows together as you watched.
“Satoru? Are you okay? What’s going on?”
“Nngh, fuck, I don't know.” His cock throbbed hard at the sound of your voice. “I'm so goddamn hard.”
“Aren't you always hard?” The teasing tone in your voice attempted to lighten the mood.
“Yes, but your point is irrelevant. Fuck, I don’t know what happened. I only get surprise boners like this when I drink!”
Satoru was panting as you tilted your head slightly to the side. “But you did. Mina’s punch has a fuck-ton of alcohol in it.” Your boyfriend's face was contorted in pained pleasure and confusion. “People can’t taste the alcohol because of the liter of Lemon-Lime soda and the whole ass pint of sherbet.”
“Fucking fantastic,” Glancing back down at his erection, he sighed in frustration. “I-It’s going to be awhile for this bitch to go down. I’ll stay out here; you go inside and enjoy the party.”
Right now, in this embarrassing moment, Satoru could barely look at you. During the entirety of your relations, Gojo never drank, leaving that up to you if you were in the mood. You understood he particularly wasn’t too keen on drinking; it was his personal preference. Seeing him now, sulking in a corner, chest heaving, cheeks flushed, cock throbbing. It made a little more sense.
Laughter and loud music blared inside the apartment, drawing your attention to the door. Mina’s special punch was getting to everyone, it seemed like. They were so immersed in their current conversations and food would they even notice your absence?
Satoru was in physical pain. His teeth were clenched as he hissed out in frustration. You took notice of his hands, how they twitched, drawing closer to his crotch before pulling away. The man was fighting against every instinct in his buzzed horny brain. You could tell by his expression that he wanted to do nothing more than stroke his fat cock until he came all over his fist. Satoru, however, was also one not to let his lust overtake him.
He wasn’t some horny freak that would pull his dick out and stroke it until he jizzed all over your friend's balcony railing. You, however, weren’t as collected as he was. Seeing your boyfriend's cock twitching in his pants, the tiny wet spot forming over his leaking tip, made you fucking feral.
“I don’t want to go back.” Closing the distance between you, Gojo watched with bated breath as your pretty hands unbuttoned his pants.
“Tsk!” Your boyfriend hissed, crystal blue eyes darting towards the door. “Y-Y/N, what if someone comes out?!”
“I guess you’ll need to stay quiet. That way, if someone does come.” You whispered, your fingers slowly tugging his zipped down. “Can you do that for me?”
Satoru didn’t have time to think of a response because his dick did all the talking for him. It throbbed hard in the confines of his boxers. He whined and watched more pre-cum seep through the fabric of his boxers.
You cooed, running the bed of your thumb over the growing wet spot. “I’ll take that as a yes?” A nod and a tiny whimper was all you needed.
Slowly, you slid your hand down the band of his boxers, immediately coming into contact with his hot cock. His velvety shaft twitched as you tugged his boxers down just enough to free his erection. The tip was a furiously red shade; his slit dribbled pre-cum. Seeing his fat cock this hard has your cunt clenching around nothing.
“Ahh, fuck, fuuuck,” Satoru whispered through a hiss as you wrapped your fingers around his shaft. You slowly stroked your hands up and down. Squeezing it, trying to mimic how your pussy would pulsate around him when he would fuck you. “Y-Y/N~”
Using his pre-cum as lube, you smeared it up and down his length. Watching the pretty tip twitch madly each time you collected your makeshift lubricant. Satoru groaned, eyes half-lidded, watching you, the way you shifted, pressing your thighs together, how you took your bottom lip between your teeth, biting down on it, as you jerked him off.
“I-I’m, haaa, I’m the one g-getting jerked off here. B-But you, holy fuck!” He clamped his hand over his mouth, stifling a moan. Your teasing jerks, changed, your wrist twisting with every move. “Nnngh, f-fuck but y-yo—ooooh shit, you're the one e-enjoying yourself.”
“Of course, I’m enjoying myself. Satoru, I love feeling your dick get hard in my hand. It's so fat, hot, god, it makes me wet.”
Satoru flushed, head tilting back, the veins in his neck straining as he clenched his jaw. He was the one that would normally talk to you like this. Having it turned the other way around, he had his head spinning. The dizziness was so intense your boyfriend tilted his head back before he began thrusting into your tight-fitted fist.
“Fuuck, Haa, ooh fuck sweetheart, feels so good.” you bit back a moan of your own, watching as he ducked your hands, stinks of pre-cum running over your fingers, as he slammed the palm of his Hans against the railing. “D-Dont stop baby~ fuck Y-Y/N don't fuckin’ stop.”
Watching him desperately fuck your hand was so fucking pretty. From the thin sheen of sweat on his beautiful face to the throbbing shaft in your hand, everything about Gojo had panties soaked. Right now, you wanted to drag him out of the cramped apartment and back to your place where you would fuck his brains out.
But getting him through the apartment right now was out of the question.to get what you wanted, you had to get him off first! The faster he came, the faster you'd get to have him inside of you.
“You're doing such a good job, Toru~” Your hand moved faster. “I love feeling your cock sliding into my hand. But I love it so much more when you’re sliding into me, stretching me with your cock.”
Satoru was a hundred present, certain you were responsible for his hot blood and the hazy gaze that lingered over his eyes. You were the source of his buzz, and it had him jerking like a virgin into your first. You tried matching his thrusts with your hand. The whines that left his mouth were all the confirmation you needed to know that it felt good.
“F-Feels so good.” Satoru cried out, head dipping down to watch you jerk him off. “Holy fuck, your hand feels so good.”
“Mmhm~ just think about how good my pussy will feel when I get you home.” A grunt sounded from him. “Yeah~ you like knowing that you’re going to fuck me when we get home~? You going to reward me for helping you~?”
“Y-Yes, p-please don’t stop Y/N, I can feel it coming. God, I’m going to cum so hard.”
Hearing the pleasure that paved his voice had you pressing your thighs together. “Yeah~ are you going to cum~? Do it; I want you to cum, baby~ I want you to feel so good~ Like the good you are.”
“Y/N?” Gojo jerked, his head searching for the source of your voice. “Hey, is Gojo okay?”
Without missing a beat, you pulled Satoru down with your free hand. Your hand pushed the back of his head into the crook of your neck. Gojo didn’t know what you were doing at first, but as your hand left to join the other stroking his throbbing cock, he picked up on what to do. He whimpered and moaned softly into the crook of your neck.
“Oh yeah, he’s just a bit buzzed right now.” You stroked him harder, squeezing his shaft. “He doesn’t like drinking and thought the punch was safe.”
Satoru’s arms wrapped around you, fingers digging into the fabric of your shirt. His breathing whines were hot against your skin as his balls started to clench. He was so close to cumming, his eyes shutting tight, losing himself in the cooling sensation in his abdomen. So close, he was so close.
“Aww, poor guy, did you need anything?”
Gojo needed whoever the fuck this was to get out of here. He whined out your name into your neck. Hot breath having you shifting.”Y//N c-close.” He whispered as softly as he could as you jerked him faster, both hands working in tandem.
“Nope! We’ll be back inside in a second; I gotta get him home.”
“Okay!”
You waited until the door shut when you moaned with him. “Good boy, good boy~” his fingers dug into your back. “Go on, Toru~ cum for me~ give me it all.”
Satoru cried out into your neck in a nearly silent cry. “Y-/N oooh~ god fuck~ holy fuckin’ shit! C-Cummin’ I-I’m cumming.” You suddenly understood why he loved you, scratching up his back when you came around his cock. It felt good, so good, as he spurted thick ropes of cum all over your hand. “Nnngh oh fuck~! Fuck! Fuck!” His whines were shaky and nearly breathless as his cock weakly twitched in your hand. “Y-Y/NN~”
Gently you let go of his softening cock, bring your cum coated hand to your mouth. Satoru watched you closely, his chest heaving as he slowly came down from his high. He had half expectantly thought you were going to wipe his cup off on the inside of his jacket. What he hadn’t been anticipating was for you to flatten your tongue and lick it off. His sensitive cock twitched back to life at the lewd sight.
“Mmm~” You hummed in delight as if you just finished a meal. “So sweet and salty, Satoru~ I wanna taste it first hand when we get home.”
A switch flipped in Satoru’s head, be it post-nut clarity. He grabbed you by the face, turning you so you were pressed against the sliding glass door. The sudden flip had your breath catching in your throat as your boyfriend bent down, pressing his forehead against yours.
“The only one who is doing any sort of tasting when we get home will be me. If you don’t get us out of here fast, I’ll be sampling that soaking cunt right here.”
You didn’t need to be told twice; you dragged Satoru out of the party, shouting out brash goodbyes. Satoru might be buzzed from the punch. But you were buzzed off of him, and you needed to turn that buzz into a love-drunken affair.
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celestiamour · 4 months ago
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‧₊˚✧ ❛[ pocket powerhouse ]❜
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━━━ .°˖✧ requested by @klerns-birdie ˚₊ ⊹
ft. logan howlett x f! reader x wade wilson — xmen, marvel
╰₊✧ entering the void with their tiny, mighty companion┊1.4k words
setting: deadpool & wolverine (2024) worst! logan contains: canon typical blood & violence (and murder lol), reader is described as short & cute, super strength mutation, reader is the one who kills sabertooth in this one, fourth-wall break
➤ author's note: this was funnier in my head
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they had you surrounded on all fronts, some standing before you and others on armored vehicles, holding their weapons and fists up ready to strike at any moment. if they didn’t clearly have bad intentions, then you would have been flattered at this little welcome party gathering together after only a few minutes of being sent into the void. they probably heard the ruckus wade and logan were making since they simply couldn’t keep their hands off of each other.
meaning, they couldn’t stop beating each other up and using any means necessary to shed blood or break bones despite it all being healed within the span of seconds.
you find the only successful way to get them to stop trying to kill each other is by threatening to kill them first, throwing a punch into the ground to destroy it under you as a means to grab their attention while shouting that you’ll decapitate them if they continue.
they listen to you most of the time and drop the mini battles, not because they believe you would actually do it, but because they believe they are humoring you by doing so (and because they know to sit down and shut up when a pretty woman tells them to). with super-strength as your mutation, you could do it with ease, they know you can— it’s just so difficult to think that such a cute little thing who pouts when ignored and is frequently used as an armrest due to short stature would ever do anything of the sort. you still have yet to act on your warnings, only depending on bloodlust-filled glares to settle them down much like a teacher waiting for her noisy class to be quiet.
logan thinks you all bark and no bite, wade compares you to an angry bunny, it’s safe to say they take what you say with a grain of salt, exchanging amused looks and admiring how cute you are when yelling profanities and gory details of how you’re going to maim them. (blah, blah, blah, proper name, place name— backstory stuff)
the three of you cringed at the failure of johnny storm, grimacing when his balls probably got crushed on a metal pole and every time he hit his head before getting captured. his end goal was clearly to escape, but you didn’t quite know how he was planning to get there when he set himself alight and started flying.
“i know you!” a large man with flowing blonde hair jumped off the tank, landing with a heavy thud on the compacted sand.
“oh my god, that’s sabertooth, peanut’s brother,” wade explained.
“brother? they don’t really look anything alike aside from being… uh… feral?”
“well you see, apparently there are some discrepancies about that. the author isn’t sure about anything because her bitch-ass still hasn’t watched any of the x-men movies or done her research. something about ‘being too busy with real life,’ can you believe that?”
“okay, you lost me when you started talking about ‘an author,’ but lay off her!”
sabertooth growled at logan, “ready to die?” 
“hey, don’t threaten him! i don’t care if he’s your brother, he’s my friend!” you interrupted, walking up to him, acting nonchalantly like he was a teddy bear when he was truly a grizzly. he was much taller than you too, towering over you and leaving you in his shadow.
“get outta my way, girlie” he barked, extending his claws, prepared to sink them into your flesh. “you’re lucky you’re cute, or else i already would have killed you.”
“aww, thank you! but i can’t accept compliments from someone who wants to kill my friend, so to that, i say ‘fuck off!’”
before he could let out a roar about how you should know who you’re talking to or swipe his claws at your face, you lifted your hand and slapped him across the face. it was much like a dramatic slap from television shows where the girl finds out her boyfriend is cheating on her or something, except his head went flying off into the distance and sprayed blood everywhere. it happened so quickly that his body stood there for a second before flopping over.
“oh my god!” wade exclaimed, cupping his face in his hands from surprise before excitedly clapping them together, “oh my god, that’s my girl— that’s our girl! see, that’s what happens when you enlist a y/n on your team, i told you that it was a good idea to take her with us!” he picked up the decapitated head and waved his arms around, paying no mind to the dripping red iron spilling on his costume, “you bitches saw that? she’s cute ‘n tiny but mighty, and she’ll absolutely fuck you up!”
the victory was short-lived as they took advantage of logan’s adamantium skeleton and other large pieces to scrap to trap all of you to a magnet. normally, this would be a breeze for you to get yourself out of, but you got hit in the head and quickly fell unconscious for them to ship you all away to cassandra.
when you finally woke up, you’re tied back-to-back with johnny and find your two companions in a similar position. “are you guys okay?”
“they’re asleep, but i’m okay,” logan answered, voice uncharacteristically amiable. despite being just as annoying as deadpool, he liked you a whole lot more and never spoke to you as roughly as he did to him. you were sweeter, more empathetic and understanding that he needed his own space, and, he isn’t going to lie, very easy on the eyes. “and you?”
“i’m okay! my head really hurts though…” you winced and shook your head a few times, trying to get the pounding sensation out. “god, this place is crazy. first we get teleported to this junkyard and then—”
“did you really mean what you said back there?”
“what did i say?”
“well… you…” god, he felt stupid, he was about to back out and say ‘nevermind,’ but he knows that you wouldn’t have let him go so easily. “you said that i was your friend…”
“yeah! you are! i mean, i killed your brother for you even though you could have done it yourself, putting myself in danger just so that you didn’t have to— you better consider me a friend too!”
he should tell you that you shouldn’t call him that nor think of him that way since nothing good ever comes out associating with him, but he can’t bring himself to say the words he’s routinely told others to successfully push them away. something about the look in your eyes, the way they sparkled when you looked at him. something about your smile, toothy and full of hope for the future to make up for his lack of. something about you makes him keep his mouth shut.
instead, he looks away, muttering a quiet word of thanks.
you tilt your head in slight confusion, not understanding the depth of your statement yet and how it managed to pull a word of gratitude out of a man who was in a constant state of irritation, but it made you irrationally happy and giddy inside.
wade was murmuring a few unintelligible sentences before coming to, and despite wearing a mask that covered his entire face, you could envision the mild look of disgust behind the leather as clear as day. “ew, why are you smiling like that??” he took a glance at you and then back at him, repeating the process a few times. “what the fuck? you guys can’t have a love story and leave me out of it! i’m the reason you two even met—” he finally seemed to process the situation from the close proximity with logan, looking him in the eyes through the white fabric of his mask and trying to find a way to loosen it to no avail. “how long have i been asleep?”
“not all of you was asleep.”
johnny seemed to wake up as well, beginning to tell a whole bunch of exposition about this place you were trapped in, something about a monster that would swallow you up and a “her” who runs this entire place. he laughed at the notion of evading this woman’s grasp, but wade thought otherwise.
“nah, we can take her! i have a pocket powerhouse and the wolverine on my side, i’m not scared of anything!”
no one quite believes him, but it’s nice to see that your optimism has rubbed off on him.
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k-martins · 1 year ago
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Updating mine
MY TOP TEN FAVORITE JJK SHIPPS!!!!
10. SHOKOHIME
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They stole Jogo and Hanami's place because I got it into my head that Jogo is like the grumpy grandfather and Hanai is the vegan aunt of the curse family! I like them. I think it's a ship with a lot of potential. I need to consume more content, but I love the fanarts!!!
9. HIGUNANA
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This crack grew in me and now I'm suffering for them after the last chapter. In a kind universe, Higuruma and Nanami adopted Yuji and they live happily and happily!!! I think the two go together a lot and the fanfics are adorable! These Old Yaoi will be the death of me!!!!
8. CHOSOYUKI
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They've come down a little, but man I still love them!!! Even more so now because my thirst for Choso awakened and I started reading fanfics of him being a good big brother and I fell to my knees! I still want to write more and explore his relationship with Yuji. And God, YUKI IS AMAZING!!!! THEY DESERVED TO STAY TOGETHER, AKUTAMI YOU DAMN IT!!!!
7. HIGUKUSA
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A friend on twt is feeding me higukusa art and, god, this crack (not so crack, because that "I'll protect you even if I have to die for it" from kusakabe hit me hard) has taken root in my heart! I'm also obsessed with Higuruma, so I combined the useful with the pleasant!
6. INUOKKO
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THEY ARE CUTE OKAY!!!! I AM OBSESSED WITH CREATING HCS FOR THEM!!! I don't consume much of their stuff, but all the fanart I've seen is cute and their participation in the itafushi fics I read is always welcome!!! It's kind of strange to read something where they're not together…
5. NOBAMAKI
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MY OPINION HAS NOT CHANGED, OKAY??? NOBAMAKI IS WONDERFUL AND I WOULD KILL TO HAVE MORE OF THEM!!! But since I saw Nobara's flashback I've been wondering if Fumi wouldn't be a good ship too? Does anyone have a fanfic/fanart of him, by the way??? ANYWAY, NOBAMAKI IS STILL MY FAVORITE!!!
4. KIRAKARI
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I'M IN LOVE WITH KIRARA!!!! SHE AND HAKARI ARE THE ONLY HEALTHY THINGS IN THIS MISERABLE MANGA!!!! I love imagining what their relationship is like, writing hcs slice to life minis and drawing Kirara! But I'm getting worried because I saw someone saying that Kirara could appear in the Hakari x Urame fight to help her boyfriend and I know what's going to happen and I don't want it to happen! GEGE GET THESE DIRTY CLAWS AWAY FROM MY BABIES!!!!
3. SATOSUGU
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YOU RUINED BLACK AND WHITE FOR ME, YOU DEPRESSED BITCHES!!! My friend is obsessed with them and boy can I understand! These two are tragic, with a beautiful dynamic and a happy ending(?). Plus they fucked up my Christmas Eve. I hope these two bitches are causing terror in heaven!
2. ITAFUSHI!!!!
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If you've known me for more than a second, you'll know that I have an average of five outbreaks a day because of these two. This whole thing about always trying to save others even if it condemns them destroys me, okay??? Fanfics and fanarts also feed me! And I'm going to convince all my friends to ship this too so I can yell at 2am at them about little details of their dynamic! AND THEY MATCH SO MUCH!!! Of course, no more than our first place!!!!
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EVERYONE X THERAPY!!!
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Please let the deaths stop and this become canon
Honorable mention for _ Tojikuna (more because a twt artist is obsessed with them and that rubbed off on me) _ Hainana _ Toji x Mamagumi _ Okkofushi (Yuta was Megumi's first crush and you can't get that out of my head) _ Uraume x Sukuna (one-sided) _ Yuta x Maki
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daenystheedreamer · 6 months ago
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faith dashboard simulator
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💙 maidenlover Follow
its actually so faithphobic that so called "friends of rhaena" have appropriated maiden devotion... it sexualises a very personal relationship with a real facet of the seven that many of us have ACTUALLY DEVOTED OUR LIVES TO
⚢ rhaelissatruther
girl you forgot to private your likes you're one of us
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💎 mothermaidenhoe
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🕯️traedwyfe Follow
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🎶 red orange yellow green blue indigo purples in the sky
summer's in the air and baby, seven heavens' in your eyes 🎶
#the rainbow faith #rainbow not rhaena #laena of dell rae AKA the lady bard #dollaette #coqaette #faithofthesevenedit #please i'm a star #septa urge #lady manipulator #light acaedaemia
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⚔️ knightofthefaith
FUCK they're sending me to be the septon of the night's watch... girl you know what they do to sexy slender wide eyed septons like myself!!!
#PRAYING theyre sexy murderers not uggo ones... manifesting
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⭐️ brideofhugor Follow
No. You know what? F*** Y'ALL.
As many of you know I have recently been assigned to a certain castle in the stormlands and have been aiding the maester in reorganising the large library.
I just found several illuminated manuscript of an er*tic nature detailing s*xual acts of septas and septons. Including one of Hugor (blessed he be) Himself.
I don't expect much of you SINNERS (we all know of the recent poll circulating...) but sexualising those who devote themselves to loving only the gods... and crucially making the choice to remain celibate in this mission... the audacity. Enjoy the Seven Hells!
🫦 swordinyourstar
im gonna go to a septry fuck all those bald brothers so hard the hair in their tonsures grow back cos my seed is THAT strong
#why are they called holy brothers if im not supposed to fuck their holes
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🔘 old-friends-senior-seven-septry-deactivated-101AC
I just want to get dicked down again =/
🌠 faith-struggle-posts
official faith struggle post
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🌟 starrysepta
i do finally feel at home finally out of my noviciate and as a full septa of the faith but they do NAWT tell you how catty your sisters will be... they sent me to a motherhouse in the WESTERLANDS just outside of lannisport 💀 if another one of these fake bitches tries currying favour with house lannister im gonna get myself sent to the silent sisters.
🌟 starrysepta
beheading myself omg another suspiciously blonde-haired green-eyed hill surname haver has joined the noviciate please mother above get me reassigned to the vale id rather risk getting stolen by a mountain clansmen over having to deal with this whore
#girl he's not gonna legitimise you #and she's having an affair with the laybrother too but like whatever im not a lickspittle
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🪽 rivermaiden
the mother of my motherhouse 100% got dicked by our local lord back in the day maybe now too and its ruining my life. she keeps speaking in metaphors about the warrior entering the maiden and its making everyone soooo uncomfortable. AND he's the lord of a certain castle in the riverlands stars with h ends in arrenhal and i swear he's bringing the fucking demons into our sept everytime he visits
#cryyyyingggg i survived the riverlands for one-and-twenty years only to die of blood curse cos knights love chasing septa pusswah omg cant have shit in the riverlands
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🌈 septa-septon-suggestions Follow
forever hoping that the light of the seven will one day shine over all westeros ✨
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🍁 hearttreehugger Follow
don't go near any weirwoods bitch im watching you 👁️
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rad-batson · 2 years ago
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Headcanons of Tim and Damian’s Love/Hate/But-Mostly-Begrudging-Love Relationship (They’re My Babies)
They will take EVERY opportunity to be a little bitch to one another
Tim: “Don’t get too close to me. You probably have rabies.” Damian: *actually bites him*
Damian tripped Tim once, which started an all out prank war that lasted several months. It only ended when Bruce walked into a glue trap and couldn’t reach his phone to call for help. But he couldn’t figure out who put it there so they were both grounded. (It was Tim.)
Tim teaches Damian to finish his vine references when Bruce tells them they need to “bond.” They proceed to try and speak in exclusively vine references and TikTok sounds during patrol. Bruce benches them for his own sanity.
Damian: “I’m not touching you” *gets pushed down the stairs*
Tim: “I’m not in your room” *gets hit in the face with a book*
Tim calls Damian short even tho he’s only like two inches taller for quite a bit of time (and Damian never hears the end of it after Tim’s growth spurt)
Family Game Night could go in one of two ways: they’re opponents and spend the whole night one-upping each other OR they team up and wipe the floor with everyone else’s pieces
Damian: “Just trust me.” Tim: *remembering that one time Damian tried to kill him* “Okay.”
Tim: “Don’t ask questions.” Damian: *recalling the multiple genocidal Tim variants* “Whatever.”
During one Wayne Gala, they make up this game called Freestyle Checkers where they choose guests as their “pieces” then subtly manipulate them into walking to their opponent’s side of the ballroom without talking to someone from the other team or they’re out. No one can know that they’re part of a game or their opponent wins by default.
Bruce is proud of them at first for being more sociable during galas until he realizes what’s going on and immediately loses five years from his lifespan.
Both have attempted to fake their deaths to get out of the same school project
They’re both notorious for stalking people to get information instead of just…ya know…asking like a normal person. So they’re bound to team up one day.
Like maybe it’s Bruce’s birthday soon and both are like “No, I’m getting him the better present,” but then they run into each other in the vents trying to find out what he wants and they end up trading secrets. Just brotherly things
Tim: “I need you to follow this guy for me. I think he’s our culprit.” Damian: “I would rather die than take orders from you.” Tim: “I’ll buy you that fancy oil painting kit you want.” Damian: *already changing into his Robin gear* “Where is he?”
Tim makes Damian play the dumb, helpless kid in all of their covert operations, which pisses Damian off until he gets so good at it that he uses it to his advantage and annoys the hell out of Tim when they’re paired up for public appearances
“God, he’s so annoying.” “Yeah, totally.” “What the fuck did you say about my brother?”
Damian is the only person who can get Tim to actually sleep for once. No one knows how he does it, but the strongest theory so far is blackmail
Tim “I’m ignoring Bruce’s instructions because they failed the vibe check” Drake and Damian “I can totally do this mission that requires four people on my own” Wayne teaming up behind Bruce’s back and immediately getting into deep shit but somehow making it out alive with the bad guys behind bars.
During one of said missions, they thought they were going to die and said “I love you” to one another. After they survived, they silently agreed to never mention it again.
Damian gifts Tim a new board that he designed for his birthday. It took weeks. Tim cries
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rowretro · 4 months ago
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𝕝𝕠𝕧𝕖𝕣 𝕝𝕠𝕪𝕒𝕝𝕥𝕪
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𝙔𝘼𝙉𝘿𝙀𝙍𝙀 𝙍𝙄𝙆𝙄 𝙒𝙃𝙀𝙉 𝙐 𝙏𝙃𝙄𝙉𝙆 𝙃𝙀'𝙎 𝘾𝙃𝙀𝘼𝙏𝙄𝙉𝙂
‧͙⁺˚*・༓☾ 𓆩♡𓆪 ☽⋆˚。⋆˚.
✰warnings: yandere themes, kissing, making out ish, a lot of fluff after they makeup<3
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Why would y/n care if the man who hurt her, kidnapped her, forced her to live with him in his home to go see other women? she hates him after all doesn't she? she wishes she does, but she just can't. He's so sweet to her despite the fact he abducted her purely because he loves her, he stopped his obsessive killing of men who even look in her direction, and now he even trusts her enough to leave, just the bedroom door unlocked. He literally killed for her, of course he'd die for her.
Y/n hates that she thinks he'd do such a thing, she received a picture from a friend on her snap, of Riki walking alongside another woman. They looked so close... she was flirtatious with him, arm around his shoulders, and he smiled at her. The woman being someone she loathed, a bitch who has beaten many girls almost to death, and tried to use y/ns personal life against her. Basically a bitch. To say she was mad was an understatement. The man who abducted her, killed for her, and treated her like a princess, forcing her to be his is with another fucking woman?!
She flinched a little as the door suddenly shut, interrupting her out of her thoughts. "baby im home~" he called. Y/n glared at the wall, waiting for him to enter the bedroom. "Why didn't you come to the door pretty girl?" he asked as Y/n frowned. "Am i pretty girl? or is she?!" y/n asked, as Riki sat opposite her on their bed. "who exactly is her?" he asked, a little confused "the side-chick that had her grubby hands all over you. im sorry, you drag me here claiming that you love me, killed a classmate that confessed to me, and used his many crimes as an excuse, only for you to cheat with a basic bitch who does nothing but whores around spending mommy's money and using daddy's name to defend her crimes?!" she lets out, clearly upset.
However riki just smiled, his eyes staring at her endearingly "my sweetheart is jealous~" he cooed as he tried to reach for her, mad y/n slapped his hands away. "ok ok cool cool... that bitch has been getting on my nerves lately... she filmed you getting dressed so I had to play the part to show her her place... don't worry I haven't killed her... yet..." he smirks, turning on the news. There she was, the girl's photo, somewhat blurred, being exposed for her many offences that she coverred up. "As for the video, deleted forever..." he added as y/n just sat there, unsure of what to do.
A few hours of silence pass, Riki was watching TV, as y/n finished up a few tiny chores. Seeing him, she heaved a quiet sigh, and slipped in the seat beside him. "Im cold" she said staring at him as he looked her up and down "Of course you are, it's autumn and you're wearing a thin-strapped croptop- and the material of those jeans are way too thin." he complained as Y/n frowned. "I said Im cold!" she whined as Riki snickerred. "you have to pay me first." he said as she bit her lip.
She leaned in, catching his soft, plush, perfect lips in a loving kiss, his arms wrapping around her waist, as they let their tongues collide, one of his hands rested at her head, as she placed her arms around his shoulders, deepening the kiss as much as she could. As she pulls away, she leaves a few soft kisses down his jawline to his neck, and sinks into his warm embrace. "Dont you dare cheat on me... I'll cry." She mumbled as she snuggled against him. "God you must think im insane if im ever willing enough to cheat on you. do you know how long ive waited for you?!" Riki asked.
He unzipped his hoodie, wrapping it around her a little, as he yanked a soft blanket to wrap around them "What do you wanna watch?" he asked "I know i've watched it a lot but... Let's watch so not worth it and order some nice food hmm?" Y/n suggests as he kisses her nose "Anything for you my lifeline~" he smiled, pulling out his phone to order food.
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a/n: yeah i don't even know about this... hope u enjoyed it tho<3
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