#I know the French in it is like. COMPLETELY incorrect but I still love it

[royaltea000]

Europa by Globus is THAT Bitch for hetalia songs like do y’all remember that Europa MEP from 13 years ago? I truly believe that I can cite that video for changing the way I saw hetalia as a young 11 year old like it completely rerouted the wiring in my brain.

I’m currently trying to watch it again but I’m struggling because every single art piece in that MEP is so violently height of hetalia fandom popularity 2010s art style that every scene feels like a whammy to the face

[leclercloml]

Enchanted to meet you | CL16

Pairing: Charles Leclerc x singer!reader

Summary: everyone's favourite swiftie is finally off the market, but who's that lucky guy?

Genre: SMAU

warnings: google translated french, grammar mistakes, incorrect time line to match the story line

Author's note: i reached the picture limitation so I'll do a part 2 of this as soon as I can and I'm still not very good at this, and I'm completely out of ideas, so please bare it 🫶🏻

fc: Gracie Abrams

yourinstagram

liked by oliviarodrigo, taylorswift and 23,45,873 others

yourinstagram uh-oh, I'm fallin' in love.

view comments

sabrinacarpenter oh no, I'm falling in love again

⤷username hahahahaha it's just a taylor swift reference guysss hahahahaha nothing too serious

⤷username Sabrina what do you know, please tell your kids too babe.

username mother mother mother

oliviarodrigo i think I know who it is

⤷conangray SHE TOLD YOU??!!

⤷oliviarodrigo she tells me everything

⤷username lmaaaoo Olivia knowing who's y/n love intrest is and conan going crazy over it is my new favourite thing

username whoever is her new boyfriend and if he's reading this, sweetheart sleep with one eye open

Twitter

Instagram

charles_leclerc

milan, italy

liked by yourinstagram, joris_trouche and 67,45,745 others

charles_leclerc what a beautiful show, love the songs, love the performance, thank you so much for inviting me to this beautiful event.

tagged: yourinstagram

view comments

yourinstagram I'm glad you had fun

⤷carlossainz55 he really did he won't stop humming "where do we go now"

⤷charles_leclerc hey! it's a good song

⤷username helloo?? What is happening??!!

username I still can't believe it's real, it feels like a weird fever dream 😭

username okay but are we not gonna talk about that caption and how girlfriend she looks in the 2nd slide??

⤷username finally! I was waiting for someone to say this!

username okay guys here me out, first y/n posting her pictures with caption "uh-oh I'm falling in love" which is a lyrics from Taylor Swift song called labyrinth and basically confirming she's in love and probably dating someone and then Olivia officially confirming it by commenting "I think I know who it is" and then Charles out of blue arriving at y/n concert which by looking at caption it seems like he was invited and the 2nd slide, he was in front row and the picture look way too "girlfriend" and charles is also single and so is y/n, so maybe...MAYBE Charles might be y/n new boyfriend?

⤷username ma'am the delusion is crazy

⤷username I've connected the two dots.

⤷username you didn't connect shit.

⤷username I've connected them.

yourinstagram added to story

comment disabled

Twitter

Instagram

f1

liked by scuderiaferrari , yourinstagram and 45,673,459 others

f1 CHARLES LECLERC IS THE WINNER OF 2023 ITALIAN GRAND PRIX! 🏆❤️

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scuderiaferrari that's how we win a home race 💚🤍❤️

⤷username can't believe you guys didn't fucked up his race

username call me delusional but y/n is his lucky charm

⤷username no but fr

⤷username listen @/scuderiaferrari you guys need to invite her to all of the races now.

⤷scuderiaferrari on it 🫡

charles_leclerc

liked by yourinstagram, carlossainz55 and 45,274,523 others

charles_leclerc what a win! 1-2 brought it home for all of the tifosi's out there! And also congratulations to Carlos on P2! That's how we win it and also thanks to all of the fans, team and my lucky charm! Forza Ferrari Sempre 💚🤍❤️

view comments

carlossainz55 congratulations on the win mate ❤️!

⤷charles_leclerc thanks mate! congratulations on the podium!

yourinstagram SO SO SO PROUD OF YOU AND CARLOS!

⤷charles_leclerc couldn't have done I without you my lucky charm 🍀

⤷username AHHHHHH SHE IS HIS LUCKY CHARM SCREAMING CRYING BANGING MY HEAD AGAINST THE WALL!

⤷username just confirm your relationship already 😭😭

⤷username i don't think we need a confirmation this is already so obvious

landonorris congratulations mate!

liked by charles_leclerc and yourinstagram

username the ONLY driver to beat RedBull this year! @/yourinstagram please come to all of the races from now on 🙏

⤷yourinstagram I'll try my best 🤍

⤷username AHHHHHH!!!

PS: this is sooooo rushed I'm so sorry, I'll do a part 2 as soon as I can! Please give feedbacks 🫶🏻

Part 2!!

[vamptarot]

What Is Tarot?

— an educational post

— ⭑.ᐟ I am aware many people have made posts like this before, however I still felt like creating my own take on it. What inspired me was a post where someone stated that tarot is fictional. Which is incredibly incorrect. Being misinformed is of course, fine, but they said it with such utmost arrogance and confidence that it annoyed me a little. If you are misinformed, not even educated on tarot as a whole, what gives you the right to be a tarot reader? You cannot guide people if you, yourself are wrong and have incorrect information and assumptions. That is what I would have liked to tell them, but unfortunately due to my then circumstances I did not. I also would like to follow the word of God, and He says to act with love, not hatred. So, instead of calling them out and possibly causing an unnecessary argument, I have decided to educate those who might be curious or confused about what tarot actually is as a whole. It’s your choice if you read this or not. I also won’t go into themes of religion, this will strictly be focused on tarot. I just wanted to share what’s on my mind. not proof read.

what is tarot?

Actually, my dearest, tarot was created in the 1430s - 1450s and was first called tarocchi. It’s a game similar to bridge.

They were created in Northern Italy, Milan. Although at the time it was a game, it was still considered a luxury. The cards were hand painted for wealthy people, not necessarily due to them finding joy in it, but rather to reflect their status. It was a symbol of being wealthy.

Although nowadays the standard of a tarot deck is 78 cards it started off with 56 cards, from which the fool was the odd one out, a wild card. - If you have a hard time understanding, think of the joker card from solitaire. -

It was only used as a form of divination at the beginning of the 18th century, aka the 1700s.

Now, there are several reasons whys this has happened, but I will try my best to explain it to you in simple terms. - Although I won’t be able to go into every detail as these topics are very complex and have a rich history behind them, so please keep that in mind. -

In the early 1700s French occultists made claims about their meaning and history. They were confident in their skills, abilities and knowledge. Due to them grabbing people’s attention this led to people making custom cards for the usage of cartomancy.

At these times Romani and Sinti people were heavily discriminated against. They weren’t allowed to settle, work, buy a house and were banned from most public spaces including ones where one can buy food and such. All because they originated from India. So, as a means to keep alive they turned to earning money with divination, creating opportunities for themselves in order to live.

Another reason for tarot in a form of divination becoming popular is due to conservative Christian’s spreading the misinformation of it being related to Kabbalah, the Jewish mystical tradition. Of course, that is not true, never was and never will be. However, they are said to have some parallels. That is as far as it goes though.

Now, you could be thinking to yourself, ‘if it was a game, then it’s not a real divination.’ You are wrong! Let me explain to you why!

Remember how I mentioned that originally it had 56 cards and was named tarocchi? It also originated in the 15th century. The tarot you know of today began in the 18th century, got popular in the 19th century. There is roughly about 300 years between the two events and tarot has evolved for 100 years. So one can argue they are completely different things. Even if they are not, that’s alright.

Objects created for non divination usage can still be used for divination despite the creator’s intent. I will present you with a few examples of this fact.

Some people use their passed on pet’s bones as a form of osteomancy. You throw em, if they touch it’s a yes, if they don’t it’s a no. Sounds pretty messed up, right? For some people at least, can’t guarantee everyone thinks the same. Regardless, that was a living being, a beloved pet. Yet, you can use it’s bones in order to practice spirituality.

If you watch youtube pick a cards this will be easier to understand, regardless, charms can be used as a form of divination. You draw different categories on a paper, throw charms at them, whatever it falls on will have a meaning to your question. Money charms on ‘future spouse’? They might as well be wealthy, or at least good with their money.

Or, if that’s not good enough think about witchcraft. You think every single little thing used for spells, jars, hexes and so on was created for the sole purpose of witchcraft? It wasn’t. Yet it works because it’s intentional, because the person doing them has talent for it, because they were gifted.

how do readers read tarot cards?

I will be honest with you, not all readers are gifted with being able to do so, but they sure believe they do. - Am I saying this out of pettiness? Perhaps, let me be. -

So, if you feel like something is off such as beating around the bush, being too nice, being too mean and so on please trust your gut. Not telling you to be mean to people or accuse them unprovoked, that’s something an @sshole does, and I know you are not one. - Watch out for AI readings though, they suck. -

Moving on, I would like to say that every single tarot reader reads their cards differently. Some only do by visuals, some only does so by meaning, some do by both!

Alongside this, every reader shuffles differently. Some let the cards fall out, some take whatever is on top, some take whatever is standing out of the deck, some let them fall and then organise them neatly.

There is many ways to do this. I personally let them fall out and consider both visuals and meanings simply because I believe that is the right thing to do. - One time, during a love reading they fell out in a heart. I thought that’s cute. - At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter much. I have had several friends with different methods than me give me really good and accurate readings. - Just be catious of people who spread it out and then pick the cards out themselves. -

The most important part is being gifted with claircognizance, or in other words having hella good intuition. - or “6th sense”, whatever you wanna call it. - I believe every reliable and accurate reader is gifted with this, regardless of them being aware or not. You can’t read tarot if you don’t understand what spirit is trying to tell you, let that be your own guides or anyone else’s. Perhaps even your tarot deck.

Often times though, this is not the only thing readers rely on. For instance, I have clairaudience, clairvoyance and clairtypity. I can hear, see and feel what you would during whatever situation I read for you. This is not unique to me at all, every reader has at least one of these, and usually several. I even saw people with clairgustance and clairalience! They can taste and smell what you would! Isn’t that awesome?~ I personally think it’s fascinating, it’s not something that I have ever experienced. It’s cool that there are people out there who can do this.

So, tarot readers read your situation with the help of your spirit guides and their own spiritual gifts that they carry within themselves. As for habits and methods, it varies from person to person.

That is a reason why so many different tarot decks exist! Different people are called to different things. - Plus it’s cool -

how do tarot readings work?

This is the main reason why this post was made.. let’s get into it.

You already know how readers guide you, so I will tell you how do the readings themselves work. What else are they based on. Honestly, the best way I will be able to tell this to you is with examples, so that’s what I will do. Maybe someone else can tell you in a much more detailed and specific manner, but I am not them.

Tarot always reads your current energy. You can look into the past with it, but regardless it reads your current state of mind, thoughts, views, feelings and behaviours.

If you read a pick a card or personal reading that is based on the future - ex.; future spouse - then it will still read on your current energy.

For example let’s say you ask ‘when will I meet my future spouse?’ but you stay inside all day, then it will obviously be a few years or so. However, if the next day you decide to go out more or just put yourself out there in the world more and actually commit to it this can reduce to months.

If it’s a reading on your past then the cards will pick up on what still impacts you, whether you are aware of it or not. Let’s say you ask about your first kiss, how will it be like? Your cards could say that it won’t be as romantic as you think because this and that situation still impacts you.

I sincerely hope that you get the point, as I did my best to explain it.

Yet, there is still a question, ‘if someone is talented, why did that one reading turn out inaccurate?’ well because things change my dear.

If you were to ask me now about the appearance of your future spouse I could say they have brown hair and be correct, but they could go ahead and dye it red 15 minutes after I said that.

Things change constantly all the time and there is nothing we can do about it. That’s just life. It’s hard to hear, it’s hard to swallow, but it’s something we have to accept at some point in time. We can control some things, but not everything.

Change is inevitable.

There is good sides of it, and there is bad. You just gotta live and let others do the same.

Now, for pick a cards it’s slightly different. Maybe, genuinely, something is just not meant for you and you are just meant to ignore that. Maybe it’s for the blond teen in Canada who is asking about that one cute boy in her class. If you read a pick a card reading that is accurate but there is that one thing that doesn’t make sense, consider that means something to someone else. It’s not a personal reading.

That is why disclaimers like ‘take it with a grain of salt’ and ‘leave what doesn’t resonate’ exist. Yes, some people take advantage of it and that’s bad, but they were created with a good reason.

end note.

That is all I wanted to say, I believe. Although I made this post to get something bothersome off my mind I sincerely wish that someone out there has found it useful. My goal was truly to educate so if you know who the OP of the claim was just ignore them. Hating on people for enjoyment is not only immature but is going to have a negative effect on your body, mind and soul. Which I would not like. Please take care of yourselves! Thank you for reading.

[choatic-bumblebee-agenda]

ALRight bestie, can i get uhhh context??? i only know like 2 guys from the incorrect quotes yall are messing around with, who are these guys???? <- wants to know how to picture em lol

also been so fun readiing the shenanigans hahaha

OKAY SO

Uhhh Chrumblr server RP got kinda out of hand haha and now we've got this whole plot and an ever-growing cast of characters that currently consists of

Nia Rosewood - Chaos's oc, everyone's little sister (one is younger than her and that's irrelevant haha)

Venatrix - Vixen and Chaos's shared oc, angry murder girl.

Nightwing, aka Dick Grayson - The big brother, nobody knows his true identity but they get why he's hiding it.

Grillface and Sploto - Kirbe's ocs. Creachers. Sploto is a very cat-like in manner kirbe and Grillface is a thief of a waddle dee.

Arrio McKay, aka Spellblazer - You know the Best Boy (>:D). Did his best to avoid letting people know he was a superhero but ultimately failed when he set his hands ablaze and threatened to light Peter on fire (they don't get along).

Peter Parker, aka Spiderman - Classic Gen-Z, opposes murder (as do a few others), a certified little shit. Doing his best to hide his superhero identity. Hates Arrio as much as Arrio hates him (LET THE RECORD SHOW THAT PETER CAUSED THE INCITING INCIDENTS OF THEIR INITIAL CONFRONTATION).

Matt Murdock, aka Daredevil - Might as well be Peter's dad. Blind but has heightened senses. Helping Peter keep their cover as heroes.

Lieutenant Strike - Moob's Star Wars oc. No-nonsense clone, extremely confused with all these Earthlings. (Why don't they know what a holo-map is??? Are they stupid???) Perhaps not as perpetually angry as she seems to be.

Raoul de Chagny - Terrified sobbing French man who loves his wife.

Christine Daaé - Terrified-but-better-at-hiding-it French (actually Swedish tho) woman who loves her husband. Often tries to stop fights between Peter and Arrio, usually fails (by no fault of her own - those two are wild).

(Note from blog author: Raoul and Christine are under the protection of the entire group. Hurt them and suffer the consequences.)

Maddox Darling - Christi's Star Wars oc. Due to time shenanigans I don't understand (lmao), is friends with Strike in the future. Strike is extremely confused.

Basically the plot is these characters all showed up in a small town in the middle of nowhere with no memory of how they got there, and now they're trying to figure out where they are and how to get back to their respective universes without killing each other (looking at Peter and Arrio). Also some of them are starting to realizing that they may or may not be fictional, but those who were elsewhere at the time of the discovery still have no idea.

So uh that's basically it I think? It's kind of a lot but we're having a blast lmao. People keep joining and adding characters and it's really chaotic and fun haha.

Also, completely unrelated but WE GOT ANOTHER ONE BOYS (you know what I'm talking about heheh)

[brotpqueen]

Okay listen I’m working on the next chapter but Gabriel is a bitch to write for. I am neither a man nor an overconfident little bastard (though that last one is debatable) so I don’t relate to him as much as the others which makes writing more complicated. This bitch is tiring. Also as y’all know I have no idea how to write romantic tension, especially not of the enemies-to-lovers variety. Here’s some incorrect quotes while you guys wait (with some lore drops about the AU if you look hard enough). Thanks for being so patient, gang.

Hairdresser: How would you like your hair cut? Beelzebub: Preferably with scissors, but a sword could be badass.

(if you read chapter one you already know my Beez makes terrible decisions about their hair.)

Anathema: I'm at a loss for words! Newt: Despite being ‘at a loss for words’, Anathema yelled at me for the next 45 minutes.

(Newt is the incompetent one in the group but he’s so sweet they keep him around anyway)

Gabriel: There. How do I look? Shax: Like a cheap French harlot. Gabriel: French?!

(Former Cyberbully VS Also Former Cyberbully. At least Shax is creative with it.)

Aziraphale: Crowley, can you help me? All of my clothes keep disappearing for some reason. Crowley, wearing a hoodie that's 5 times bigger than their size: Spooky.

(…Obviously.)

Aziraphale: What the fuck is wrong with you?? Beelzebub: What? No good morning? Aziraphale: Good morning, what the fuck is wrong with you??

(This is literally all of their conversations up until they were like fourteen and Aziraphale gave up on being a good influence and joined in the batshit)

Shax: You're smiling. What happened? Crowley: What? Can't I smile just because I feel like it? Aziraphale: Gabriel tripped and fell down the stairs today.

(They’re the worst brothers ever <3)

Beelzebub: When I was your age- Aziraphale, mocking Beelzebub: When I was your height. Beelzebub: Beelzebub: Listen here you little shit-

(Beez is completely ignoring that Aziraphale is literally like a month older than them)

Hastur: I wouldn’t put it in those words exactly. Newt: Why not? Hastur: Because I don't know what they mean.

(Hastur is a himbo. In this context both affectionate and derogatory. Love ya, ya dumbass.)

The Squad is gathered in the living room for a meeting Maggie: walks in and sits on Nina’s lap The Squad: … Newt: Why are you sitting there? Maggie: There’s no free seats! Newt: But we made sure there was enough room for- Nina: hugs Maggie tightly There are no free seats.

(Nina and Maggie are just here to cuddle and see shit go down tbh.)

Aziraphale: I honestly feel like some of our conversations here are almost word-for-word accurate to the generator. Anathema: Yup. Beelzebub: Maybe the generator is watching us. Aziraphale: Wouldn't that imply this conversation will be added? Aziraphale: … Aziraphale: Wait—

(Never let the smart ones™️ near alcohol they’re existential little fucks already we don’t need a philosophical debate at the campfire)

Shax: Some of us are still ‘it’ from a childhood game of tag. Uriel: Way to just fuck me up on a Tuesday.

(Shax is studying psychology at college/uni SOLELY so she can use it to fuck with people.)

Crowley: We need a plan to beat them. Aziraphale: Okay, listen up. First, we fill their shoes with wet cat food. Crowley: Aziraphale: Judge me all you want, I get results.

(And people say Bee is a bad influence. Really! He’s much better at being a devious little shit now, so I’d call that a good influence!)

One of the campers: running towards Beelzebub with open arms Beelzebub: moves out of the way One of the campers: Hey, why'd you move?! Beelzebub: I thought you were going to attack me. One of the campers: I was going to hug you! Beelzebub: Why would you hug me? One of the campers: WHY WOULD I ATTACK YOU!?

(They have issues okay. Stay tuned for that shit show!)

Shax: I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.

(She’s the worst I love her.)

Beelzebub: It’s too early in the morning for this. sent at 11:57 AM

(Aziraphale at many points throughout the years since they chose their name: your name is Beelzebub not Belphegor. Get up and go eat.)

Crowley: Fuck capitalism. It's a rigged system that keeps us poor and it isn't fair. You shouldn't need to work three jobs to afford basic necessities. Crowley, playing Monopoly: Sorry, if you wanted to win you should have tried not being poor.

(He looses all morals when it comes to board games. Also shut up Crowley your mother is like as rich as God…almost literally.)

Hastur: Hey, Aziraphale you're smart, tell me what would happen if I chugged 3 gallons of chloroform. Aziraphale: Have you ever been to a mortuary? Hastur: Yea, my grandma lives there. Uriel: That is the worst response to that question.

Aziraphale: I literally cannot believe I let you talk me into this. Beelzebub: I literally said “I have an idea,” and you just went along with it without question.

(This is just their entire dynamic in this fic. Literally. This is how they end up in so many situations™️)

Beelzebub, to Nina: You know, Gabriel can be really aggressive, so it's important to take all the necessary precautions when approaching. Beelzebub: blows airhorn at Gabriel GET FUCKED!

(They’re still in the enemies stage of enemies-to-lovers…Also Crowley approves this method.)

Beelzebub: I've met a lot of pricks in my time, but you, Gabriel, are a fucking cactus.

(Wait why is that just something I would have them say.)

Uriel: We need to distract these guys. Shax: Leave it to me. Shax: Centaurs have six limbs and are therefore insects. Discuss. The smart ones™️: immediately begin arguing

(More psych student Shax knowing her friends eerily well! She’s a nightmare!)

Gabriel: What have I done wrong?! Crowley: Everything. For your entire life.

(They are in SEVERE need of character development…shame no one around here is doing that. *whistles totally inconspicuously, definitely not ignoring the WIP that’s open in my notes right now*)

Maggie: Which country has the most birds? Maggie: Portu-geese! Uriel: That's a language. Maggie: Portu-gull? Uriel: Good recovery. Newt: I think you mean good re-dovery. Anathema: TURKEY. HOW DID WE MISS TURKEY?

(This is what’s happening while the MCs are off doing MC shit)

Crowley: We’re going to have to split up, like in Scooby Doo. Crowley, to Newt and Hastur: You guys are Scooby and Shaggy. You can search the bathrooms. Crowley, to Aziraphale: Velma, you get the spooky looking fridge in the basement. Aziraphale: What? Why am I Velma? And why do I get the… dubious looking device? Crowley: Because only Velma would say “dubious device”. Aziraphale gets the spooky fridge in the basement. Gabriel: And what does that make you, Fred? Crowley: Bitch, I’m Daphne.

(The real reason Crowley and Gabriel hate eachother so much is that there’s only room for one dramatic little bitch in their family and they both think it should be them.)

Maggie: I'm not superstitious… But I am a little stitious.

(My underrated queen!)

Hastur: I know where you live. Uriel: Where? Hastur: In a house.

(Uriel spends half of their time at camp facepalming. This is what they get for being normal in a sea of weirdos.)

Okay that’s it for now see y’all soon hopefully with the next chapter!

[madlittlecriminal]

Hey! I saw that you're taking Moon Knight requests! Could you please write Jake Lockley x reader where both of them speaking broken English and most of their conversations are just bickering in their native languages?

Just imagine the fluff where they get together and teach each other the words of love in their languages through the trouble of language barrier 😭🥺

Language ☽ Jake Lockley × Arabian!GN!Reader

i only speak english and spanish, so im very sorry if the arabic is inaccurate. i wanted to try something different that wasn't french or italian. also, because im half mexican and half puerto rican, my spanish is different. words are different compared to those who are from South America or Central America

Warnings: roughly translated spanish to english, translated arabic (NOT GOOGLE TRANSLATE), mentions of marc & steven

*if you speak Arabic, PLEASE correct me if there's any errors! im open for corrections!*

Anyone who didn't understand your relationship would think you and your boyfriend were speaking gibberish.

However, you both knew bickering in your native tongues was very much normal, but it was mostly to yourselves since you didn't know Spanish and he didn't know Arabic. Today was different as you both were bickering about the damn English language. As easy as people made it seem, it was damn well difficult. How the heck was there words that sounded the same, but were both spelled differently and meant different things?

"Ine fakt la moana leh." (It just makes no sense.)

"No sé cómo la gente puede hablar en esa maldita idioma sin confundirse, de verdad." (I don't know how people can speak in that damn language without confusing themselves, honestly.)

"Lediham al-jaraa lekhbary baltehadth ballga al-inglizia?" (They have the audacity to tell me to speak English?)

Now, there stood a confused Jake, wondering if you both were arguing about the same thing or was it something completely different? "What you say?" You looked over at him, confused. "What?"

Honestly, you both were confused as to how you managed to be in a relationship for a few months without picking up some of each others language. Well, Jake only understood very little thanks to Steven and even Marc, thanks to his time as a mercenary. However, it still wasn't enough, but if he was being honest, he wanted to learn more about your language. You only ever picked up on what he meant when he called you "amor" since that's his go-to nickname for you. "Teach me?" You raised an eyebrow at him. "Teach you what?" He smiled. "Árabe."

"You sure?" He nodded and you smiled. "I can do it I think. You just have to be good listener." He grinned. "Well, I call you kalabi which is 'my heart.'"

"So like 'mi corazón' for me?" You tilted your head. "That was what you mean?" He chuckled. "Yes, amor." You felt your cheeks heat up. It always got to you when he called you that. You assumed it was because it was in his native tongue and not in English as you were normally used to. "We say habibi." He held your hand. "Can you teach me to say te amo?" You raised an eyebrow, until you realized what he said. "Anna asada ahbak." (I love you too.)

~~~~

like i said, please feel free to correct me for any incorrect translations in Arabic! i appreciate it. :)

my requests are still open for the moon boys! :D

[landwriter]

I have a question that has absolutely nothing to do with fic or the Sandman except for the bit where it's about a dream poem! Since you've minored in French literature, I was wondering if you've read Le Roman de la Rose? As far as medieval dream poems go, Chaucer and even Lydgate can take a back seat because the first part of Le Roman (aka the part written by Guillaume de Lorris c. 1230) is fantastic and contains some of my favourite language ever. The God of Love makes the Lover kiss his mouth which drives me crazy, but these lines are my favourite in any literature ever and honestly this entire ask is me just jumping on the chance to share them/write them out again (the English translation is by Charles Dahlberg):

lors la me toucha au costé et ferma mon cuer si souef qu'a grant poine senti la clef

then he touched my side and locked my heart so softly that I hardly felt the key

I have not - furthest back I was ever sent was late 17th c.

However, after recovering from being absolutely fucking bodied by those lines, I wanna read it. I've done a semi-cursory search and have only found it in English translations, and a French journal article about how many manuscripts there's been of Le Roman de la Rose (answer: a great deal) but I would love even the Guillaume de Lorris portion? I am hooked. thank you for this. a small digression *I* am jumping on the chance to talk abt:

This is a good example of a funky little modern French thing, which is pronouncing the vestigial -e (there's actual terms but I like vestigial) that would otherwise be silent (for the most part, regionally, asterisk asterisk etc.,) in speech, in prose - but are pronounced in poetry and song. Francophones are like 'it's for meter' (as above in poine, to make the line 8 syllables) but as usual they are being incredibly blasé about a very cool linguistic convention. Why is it cool? It's a remnant of both our language's histories! It used to be our convention too!

As anyone who has read Middle English in Dreamling fic, completely new to it, as I was, you will notice the profusion of seemingly vestigial -e's. While spelling was not standardized, there's overall more of them on words today we might recognize which have since shed them completely, like the classic myne owne hertis rote (x), my own heart's root. If you're an Anglo like me, you might read that and pronounce it something like 'mine own heart-iss wrote'. BUT! Guess the fuck what - just like in French poetry even today, these final e's were pronounced for the majority of what we call 'Middle English'. Here is someone reading some of Chaucer's Canterbury Tales in Middle English. It's so jaunty, eh?

Unlike the French, we have obviously not kept the habit of pronouncing our now-vestigial -e's, even in spoken verse. (or, if u will, vers-uh) I think it's a crying shame. The music of it! The rhythm! The connection with your linguistic ancestors! My tinfoil hat thesis that is objectively incorrect but feels right: we doomed this gorgeous facet of English pronunciation in the rise of literacy and printing; if we still primarily transmitted stories via oral tradition they would sound prettier. The French kept it because they relied on it too much in their poetry are simply more stubborn and consistent.

On that theme, I think it's crazy how much more comprehensible Old French is relative to modern French, than even Middle English a few centuries later vs modern English?? What's up with that?

p.s. any asks that are like 'here's some ruinous language I would like to share with you' are very welcome they don't even have to be dream poems!

p.p.s. more on Middle English pronunciation from someone that might know what they're talking about because I certainly do not (x)

[jamiegeode]

hello and hi

Incorrect quotes w/ you T and me(I wanted to do this) (under cut)

KK, about T: They're speaking some kind of French.

JG: Let me handle it. I speak Spanish. It's the same thing.

T: What situation is not instantly improved by the addition of fishnets, I ask you.

JG: Being a fish.

T: Well, shit. 

KK: BEHOLD, the field in which I grow my fucks! Lay thine eyes upon it, and thou shalt see that it is barren! 

T: What doesn't kill me better start running, because now I'm fucking pissed.

JG: Something tells me T's going to be a bit more unhinged today...

T, holding a lit match and a bag of cheetos: Leave me be, KK isn't home to stop me, I'm going feral. 

T: Why are you on fire?

KK: This is just how my day is going. 

KK: T, what is the ONE thing I asked you NOT to do tonight?

T: Raise the dead.

KK: And what did you do?

T: Raise the dead.

KK: *walks to cabinet, removes oreo box, takes half a sleeve, throws empty box out* Hi!

T: Hey- what are you doing-?

KK, shoving an oreo into their mouth: I am saving space :D

KK: Would it be discrimination to only hire employees at my doughnut shop who have the same name?

JG: Legally, I don't believe that breaches any discrimination laws. Morally though... I don't know.

KK: I believe god is on my side when it comes to Duncans' Doughnuts. 

T: Do you need help getting up?

KK: Nah, I'm cool down here on the floor.

KK: My aesthetic is "would be suspected of witchcraft by small town citizens."

KK: I will send my army to attack!

KK: *releases a dumpster of raccoons* 

KK, on a random band name generator: Oooo! They Might Be Depressed Horses! That about sums up my friend group.

T: Fight me!

KK, standing behind them and holding a knife: *mouths* Do not. 

KK: Drink your school, stay in drugs, and get 8 hours of drugs.

JG: That’s the key slice of truth we need to complete the entire truth pie.

T: Ooh, can we get some actual pie?

JG: I like the way you think. 

JG: It’s impossible to make a sentence without using the letter a.

KK: Despite your thinking, it is quite possible, yet difficult, to form one without the specific letter. Here’s one more to further disprove your theory.

T: Fuck you. 

JG: I think you're still suffering the effects of your party last night.

T: All I drank was Redbull!

JG: How many?

T: Eighteen.

T, near tears: Please, KK, I don’t speak meme! I don't know what a 'yeet' is!(this actually happened, maybe not word for word, but close enough)

KK: Am I a boy? Am I a girl? It doesn't matter. I'm going to burn your house down.

YES I LOVE THESE

Yes GO FERAL T, you deserve it!!

Okay now. The donuts thing is questionable but at the same time… free chaos. So like

Yes KK, floor is good, floor is friend, even when all else fail the floor will always be there to support you( I’ve said this lying on the floor during tech week so many times)

PIE PIE PIE what kinda pie I vote key lime

Ah, very important information! @stupid-for-simping. Yeet is simply an elongated Yet, elongated to the point where it refers to events in backwards order. ‘Best show yeet’ means that a better show will never happen, but takes no account for prior shows. Cuz math

Gender is an illusion, go do arson

Also. You are being sent hugs

[salorem]

relationships

robbed directly from my toyhou.se. also hey 300+ posts!

(sorry if the french is incorrect i used yandex translation...)

Noemia -> Alex

"ALEX!!!!!!!!!"

[ The two of them haven't really been the same ever since their enlistment in the Luminarche military, but Noêmia still loves him all the same. While she's busy with work, she always tries to find some space in her busy schedule to meet with him… it's just been difficult. She misses her best friend! ]

Alex -> Noemia

"Noêmia!"

[ The two of them have been friends since their teens. She'd always been there for him, but life has been busy and they haven't properly caught up in a while. Alex hopes to spend more time with her because life just isn't the same without his crazy best friend. ]

Esra -> Alex

"Ça va? I'm worried about you…" (Are you okay? I'm worried about you…)

[ Alex is his older brother. While they haven't talked in a while, he knows that Alex will always be there for him if he needs it, just like he had always been when they were little. Still, it's hard for him to reach out when Alex seems to be so far away. He knows that it's been difficult, but he wants to see him get better. ]

Alex -> Esra

"Esra, s'il te plaît, ne t'en fais pas pour moi. Occupe-toi plutôt de toi." (Esra, please don't worry about me. Take care of yourself instead.)

[ Esra is his younger brother. While they didn't grow up as closely as he'd like, Alex hopes that one day he can just sit down and talk to him, just to catch up and finally get to know his brother properly. But with the weight of life sitting on his shoulders, he finds it more and more difficult with every passing day… ]

Jerome -> Alex

"On t'aime, Alex. Don't forget that." (We love you, Alex. Don't forget that.)

[ Alex is his son. Though Alexandre was adopted as a teen, Jerome loves him as if he'd always been there since the beginning. Nowadays, though, he worries about Alex's growing distance to everything. While he urges him to find help, he's concerned that he's not getting through to him anymore. ]

Alex -> Jerome

"… Merci, papa." (… Thank you, dad.)

[ Jerome's his dad. He appreciates him for what he's done and the advice he's given him as he grew up through the years, but Alex finds himself so far from his teachings that it sometimes hurts to even look at his father in the eyes anymore. He's a lot harder on himself than Jerome ever was. ]

Chanda -> Alex

"Tu ressembles à une morte, Alexandre. Manges-tu?" (You look like death, Alexandre. Have you been eating?)

[ Alex is her son. He was adopted by her and her husband in the midst of his adolescence, but she loves him all the same. Though she finds it difficult to express herself, she tries her hardest in her own way. When she heard her son left the military completely changed, she nearly broke into tears and promised herself that she would help him in any way she could. But when the distance between him and the rest of her family widens, she can't help but feel that things might be too late. ]

Alex -> Chanda

"… J'ai pas faim." (… I'm not hungry.)

[ Chanda is his mom. Being the matriarch, she's a very stoic person that doesn't seem to express much emotion. It doesn't bother him; after all, he's much the same. He knows she loves him as much as he does her. But lately, he feels like he's too much of a burden to reach out and too much of a burden to reach out at all. His mom has enough on her plate as it is; she doesn't need more. ]

Alex -> John

"Another drink? I'll have to take you home at this rate, won't I?"

[ They first met at the club, but after a few more run-ins, Alex found company in the slightly eccentric man. He finds his presence comforting in an odd way, as the two of them can talk about basically anything. Still, there's a part of him that feels that there's something more to him that the other isn't letting on. It's probably not a good time to ask right now, though. ]

John -> Alex

"Hah! If you're offering, I won't say no."

[ They first met at the club, but John never really expected to see him again after that night. But after so many more run-ins, he found himself a bit endeared to the other in a way he can't describe. It's nice, John finds, to have someone seem to actually enjoy being around him… but he's not really sure if it's just because of convenience. ]

[sysig]

Incorrect quotes edition

(Scriabin & Vargas © @zarla-s)

[not-krys]

Fictober 2022: A New Resident

Prompt #25: You Know I'd Do Anything

Fandom: Ikemen Vampire

Rating: Mature

Characters: Comte de Saint Germain, Preg!Reader, Leonardo da Vinci, Arthur Conan Doyle

Summary: After finding that Blanc and Rogue could do nothing to help improve your condition, Comte decides the only option left to save your baby is to offer his own blood.

Notes: Blood, AFAB Reader referenced with she/her pronouns and feminine-coded terms, Pregnancy, Childbirth, Implied/References to pregnancy and birth complications, use of French and Italian when neither are languages I speak so the usage is possibly incorrect.

Word Count: 2,157

Also on ao3!

My Masterlist!

-----------

"You know that I'd do anything for her… for them…" Comte brushed your damp bangs out of your eyes, closed in an uneasy sleep.

"Even risk turning her?" Leonardo said pointedly, glaring at his old friend.

"Blanc and Rouge aren't doing as well as we had hoped. I also don't want to risk the other residents either. It has to be a pureblood's essence. My blood."

"And what happens if you lose both of them? What then?"

Comte looked pained, looking again at his beloved's face.

"…We have to try something, Leonardo. I can't stand to see them suffering like this."

Leonardo glared, staring down the other vampire, his teeth grinding together.

"Fine… but we're using a knife. No need to get your fangs involved."

Comte smiled, tired, but relieved.

"Thank you, mon ami."

"I'll go ask Sebas for one." Leonardo turned with the speed only a pureblood could manage, his coat tails trailing behind him.

Comte turned his attention back to his cherie on the bed, pale but still breathing. He kissed your fevered forehead, brushing back more of your sweat-dampened hair. His other hand trailed down your side, to your swollen abdomen covered by the thin sheet. He pressed his hand into you, feeling a tiny heart beneath his hand against what he could only assume was his child's back.

"So strong." Comte said tenderly, his smile soft despite his fatigue. "for one so tiny."

His eyes turned back to his love, his smile turning to a frown.

"I'm sorry, ma cherie." he said, sadly, "this… all of this… none of us knew that this was even possible. For purebloods and humans to be able to reproduce together… and now you're paying the price for it…"

His hand trembled in your hair.

"If I could take away your suffering, all of it… you know that I would. But it's becoming harder and harder to find viable options. I thought that the Rouge would help as it's the closest to the real thing, but even that is starting to fail."

His breath shuddered, struggling to keep his voice even as he spoke to you.

"If nothing else works… if my blood isn't enough… what must I do?"

He received no answer aside from your steady breathing and the tiny heart beating beneath his hand.

Minutes later, Leonardo returned with Arthur in tow, carrying a bowl of hot water and towels.

"He refused to stay behind with the others," Leonardo commented, "and said we might need this."

"I'm no midwife, but I've delivered my fair share of babies before, so I'll help with what I can if it comes to that."

Comte frowned.

"It's too soon," he said, "they would be premature."

"It's always a possibility that we need to prepare for," said Arthur, "as another idea, in case yours doesn't work out, of course."

He then washed his hands in the nightstand bowl.

"What is the plan, anyway?"

"I'm going to give her some of my blood." Comte said plainly.

"But… won't that turn her?"

"Only if a pureblood's venom is administered first." Leonardo said, placing down the hot water nearby.

"Though the bite from a pureblood," Comte continued, helping you to sit up amongst the large pile of pillows. "However, to be effectively turned, the prospective vampire also has to drink their maker's blood, to complete the transformation."

"Has to be a pureblood's blood too, not one of you lesser ones. 'Scusa, cara mia." Leonardo helped fluff up your pillows.

"But, since Blanc and Rouge don't seem to be helping her anymore, we're resorting to more desperate measures."

"I see."

"That's what the knife is for." Leonardo said, putting a towel under your chin. "Comte's gonna slice himself open for our amusement. "

"Just a cut on my wrist, nothing more. Hopefully nothing more." He rolled up his sleeve, exposing the milky white of his arm, flexing his hand to release the tension. "And please don't be so crude in front of my wife and child, Leonardo."

"What better way would you have put it?"

"So, as far as I'm understanding what we're doing, " Arthur interjected, "We're going to have the bird drink your blood, and then what? Hope for the best? Pregnancy is meant to have an end where the little bundle has to come out."

"…Will she even be alright? With drinking a pureblood's blood?"

"We're not sure," Comte said, "but we have to try something…"

You winced and groaned, breaking Comte's train of thought. You gripped the sheets so tightly, your knuckles turned white.

"A-Abel," you whispered hoarsely.

"[Name]! I'm right here," Comte took hold of your hand, "What's wrong?"

"It… it hurts…"

"What hurts? Where does it hurt?"

You moved your hand over your stomach, grimacing.

"I… I don't know what's wrong…." you hissed, hot tears forming in your eyes. "It hurts…"

"[Name]," Comte said calmly as he could, smoothing back your hair again, "I want you to drink some of my blood. We're going to see if it helps."

"But… what if…"

"Please, cherie," Comte pleaded, "it's the last thing we haven't tried. Let me help you."

You swallow, breathing hard but shallow.

"…If… if it will help…"

Comte kissed your forehead.

"It will work."

He released your hand and took the kitchen knife from Leonardo, turning his back to you. You then heard a sharp hiss through his teeth and a grunt of pain. When he turned back around, a rivulet of red oozed down his arm. He sat down on the edge of the bed, holding out his wrist to you.

"It shouldn't taste too different from Rouge." Comte reassured you.

"Coppery, then…" you tried to laugh, but winced instead.

Comte held his wrist closer, giving your mouth easy access, rubbing your shoulder with his other hand. Carefully, you licked up his arm, pretending not to notice the shiver that went through him. It did taste similar to Rouge, coppery as blood had always tasted to you, but there was a difference. The warmth for one, how fresh it was, not diluted with thinners so that it was drinkable and kept for longer. It didn't taste particularly good but it wasn't completely disgusting. There was also something else there that you couldn't quite describe. Something old… powerful… Was this what made up a pureblood's blood?

When you had finished, nothing remained on Comte's wrist save for an angry red line, already on its way to turning white and faint.

Everything turned still save for your breathing. No other sound entered the room.

"How do you feel, Cherie?" Comte said.

"It might take a minute to fully take effect," Arthur said, "letting it get through her system and all tha-!"

Suddenly, you were sitting up, clutching your stomach, breathing hard and ragged.

"[Name]!" Comte called out.

"Well, it did something!" Leonardo said.

"Pardon me, sirs!" Arthur was now at your side, throwing the blanket off, blinking in surprise.

"W-wet…" you said weakly.

"Wet?" Comte said.

"I think her water just broke," Arthur frowned.

"It's too soon!" Comte said, "[Name]!"

"Can't do anything about it now!" Arthur said. "Comte, you help [Name] get control of her breathing. Last thing we need is her passing out. And I know you'll get mad if I didn't ask, but take off any underclothes she has on. And I'll only look as much as necessary. Leonardo, you get me some of those towels. Call out to Sebas that we might be needing more. And my doctor bag in my closet. And something soft we can wrap the baby in."

Leonardo nodded, helping Arthur place the towels and calling for Sebastian through a crack in the door while Comte gently pulled off your underwear.

"[Name]," Arthur said calmly to you, "what you're likely experiencing right now are contractions. What I want you to do, besides keep on taking as deep and easy breaths as you can, is to tell me when the pains become more intense. I'm timing them so I can know when to tell you to push. Only do so when I tell you to, alright?"

"O-okay."

"In the meantime," Arthur cracked a smile, "how about you two talk about names? Maybe place bets on if you're gonna have a boy or girl?"

 You looked over at Comte as he looked over at you.

"Well… our odds favor having a boy. " Comte said, "Female purebloods are rare, even rarer to find one that can bear children."

"Rare?" you say, wincing.

"Rare enough to be quite valuable, especially in the old families. Mère had to be guarded at all times, before and after I was born. Other families would do anything to say they have a child-bearer amongst them."

"My mamma hated being guarded," said Leonardo, returning with more towels and a small yellow blanket. "always complained to Papà about it. Hated how it limited her freedom."

You grimaced and breathed in.

"Stronger now…"

"Just a little longer," Arthur glanced at his watch then back at you. "you're doing fine, given the circumstances."

"T-thanks…"

"Keep your breathing calm.  You'll be needing it soon."

"How soon?"

"It varies, mostly, though not by this much. At best, this normally would be over in a few hours, a full day or so if you're not so lucky. This? This is happening so quickly, I'm a little baffled myself. Maybe the old chap's blood helped accelerate the labor?"

"It is normally supposed to help turn a normal human into a vampire," Comte thought aloud, "I'm sorry, Cherie. This is my fault."

You smiled tensely.

"No one knew something like this… how any of this was possible. We were all taken by surprise. You just wanted to help."

"Still…"

You reach a hand up towards his cheek, intending to try and comfort him, but another pain rattled you, your hand falling back to the bed sheets.

"A-Arthur!"

"Pardon the intrusion, luv!" Arthur was at your feet in an instant, grabbing a nearby towel. His eyes widened again in surprise. "Bloody hell, the head's already- Leonardo, grab my scissors and keep that blanket handy! [Name], I know this is going super fast, but when I count to three, I want you to push for me."

"Push!?"

"One!"

Your hand clenched the sheets while you gritted your teeth. Comte took hold of your hand, letting it clamp around his.

"Two!"

You looked at him, seeing him smile to encourage you, nodding.

"Three!"

With Arthur's command, you squeezed Comte's hand as hard as you could, holding your breath. You released when you felt you couldn't hold it anymore, panting hard.

"Head's almost out," Arthur said, "two more should get the shoulders out. On the count of three again, [Name]. One!"

You clenched Comte's hand again, his face thankful for his vampire strength keeping his fingers and palm from shattering.

"Two!"

On Arthur's call of another three, you pushed the second time, feeling your heart racing and your face turning red with effort. On the third push, Arthur called Leonardo over, the sound of snipping scissors barely registering in your ears.

"No wonder you were in so much pain, wrapped up in your own cord." Arthur bit his lip while cleaning off their nose and mouth. "Color still looks good, thank-."

He was interrupted by a new voice in the room, a tiny cough soon followed by a breathy cry.

"That's…"Comte started.

"Almost out," Arthur said, "almost there, little bairn. Nearly there, [Name]."

"Che cavolo…" said Leonardo.

The next few minutes blurred together through flashes of pain and tiny cries that stole your heart.

After what felt like hours, the pain stopped, gone completely. You could breathe easier.

Everyone was smiling, relieved.

"Congrats, [Name], Comte." Arthur said, wiping his brow.

"Say hello to your …bambina, cara mia," Leonardo said, handing over the tiny bundle of yellow, dwarfed by the vampire's large hands.

"Bambina?" you ask.

"Against your odds, you have a little girl." Arthur grinned.

"A little girl…" You said, taking in the wrinkly red face on your chest, Comte in just as much awe.

"She seems to be in good health overall, surprisingly," Arthur continued. "if on the small side, but that's to be expected with preemies. We'll have to keep an eye on her, since she is so tiny."

Comte gently rubbed his finger against her cheek, turning his head to kiss yours.

"She's beautiful, cherie."

You nodded, keeping your attention on your daughter. Arthur and Leonardo slipped out, presumably to go tell the others about their new 'resident', but you also heard distinct mumblings of badly needing a hundred cigarillos all at the same time and a drink strong enough to knock someone out into next Tuesday. 

Comte continued to keep you company, crawling into bed beside you, wrapping an arm around you and burying his nose in your hair, tired and relieved as you were. You both fell asleep like that, holding each other close, a family bonded together.

[goshikitsutomusmommy]

“Incorrect Quotes with Haikyuu Boys„

Part 1 , Part 2 , Part 3 , Part 4 , Part 5 , Part 6 , Part 7 , Part 8 , Part 9 , Part 10

Synopsis : Different Quotes From Brooklyn-Nine-Nine as Haikyuu Characters

Genre : Comedy

Pairing(s) : Goshiki x reader , Atsumu x reader , Tsukishima x reader , Lev x reader

Word Count : 1.07k

Warning(s) : She/her pronouns used , slight violence , slight timeskip spoiler

Masterlist Link : Here

*Shiratorizawa manager in this*

[Name] : Mm. All right. Haha, C’est la vie (“It’s life.” in French). Let me grab your student ID numbers ‘cause I will be filing an official student complaint with Coach Washijou.

[Name] , Semi , Shirabu : *All laugh the joke off waveringly whilst Semi and Shirabu side glancing each other*.

Coach Washijou : Why did a just receive a student complaint about ya two?

Shirabu : I can answer this. Because our manager is a goblin.

*Shiratorizawa manager in this*

Coach Washijou : Ye’ll stay after school hours at the gym for extra practice today.

Goshiki : Darn it. I had a belly dancing class today! Today is Egyptian undulation.

[Name] : Ooh!~ Show us some moves!

Goshiki : Sure! *Tries to get on top of the bench*.

Coach Washijou : Dismissed!

Kyoutani : It’s my birthday. I hate birthdays. If you wish me a happy birthday, I will punch you.

Oikawa : You’re a funny little bird, Mad Dog-Chan. Happy birthday!

*Gets punched in the guts*

*Inarizaki manager in this*

[Name] : *Holds up two pictures* Here are two pictures. One is your gym locker and the other is a garbage dump in the Philippines. Can you tell which is which?

Atsumu : *Points to the right one*, That one is the dump?

[Name] : They’re both your locker!

Atsumu : Gah! A should’ve guessed that, that’s good!

*Inarizaki manager in this*

Part 1/3

Atsumu : A can see that yer upset, but let’s just sit down and talk about it.

[Name] : Done talking! *Throws boxing gloves*, Time to dance.

Atsumu : Fine. But a should warn ya. A took three years of tap.

*Inarizaki manager in this*

Part 2/3

Atsumu : Again, [Name], it’s so good to see ya. Just outta curiosity, how did ye find out about this?

[Name] : I’m the club manager at Inarizaki High... Kita-San told me. I know you’re trying to set me up with some guy in class 7 as a joke!

Atsumu : What? That’s crazy! ‘Samu, come in ‘ere and stand in front of ma body and tell ‘er that’s crazy!

*Atsumu gets punched by the manager*

Atsumu : Ow! My lucky face!

[Name] : You gonna talk to me now?

Atsumu : Sure. If ya could be any vacation—

*Gets punched again*

Atsumu : Ow!

*Inarizaki manager in this*

Part 3/3

Atsumu : So we good?

[Name] : We good. And for the record... If I can be any kind of vacation... I’d be lake trip.

Atsumu : Classic!

*Karasuno manager in this*

Nishinoya : Come on. You’re not even moving. Let’s go.

Asahi : Get your hands off me! I’ve heard about this in the news! You’re cyber-bullying me!

Nishinoya : Shh!

Asahi : I’m getting [Name]! Get the hell away from me!

Nishinoya : No, you’re very misinformed. Please don’t get [Name]—

*Slight timeskip spoiler*

*Karsuno manager in this*

[Name] : Here’s the plan: We’re gonna go to nationals, you’re gonna enjoy and fall in love with volleyball, you’re gonna want to pursue being a volleyball player as a career. And that’s a [Surname] guarantee.

Tsukishima : Your last [Surname] guarantee you made was that you could dunk a basketball.

*Flashback*

[Name] : *In a ladder with a basketball in hand*, I never said I couldn’t use a ladder. [Surname] guarantee achieved! *Tries dunking the basketball but falls off the ladder and misses the shot*.

*Nekoma manager in this*

Part 1/3

Kuroo : Now, I have been taking notes on points of friction in this gym for three years. *Pulls out a poster that is highly detailed with work flow strategies for Nekoma*, The red areas are places where no work gets done. If we can fix these problems without anyone knowing what we’re doing, we will make progress.

Coach Nekomata : Are you saying you want to secretly perform scientific experiments on your friends and colleagues to increase efficiency?

Kuroo : Yes.

Coach Nekomata : Sounds fun, let’s do it.

*Nekoma manager in this*

Part 2/3

Coach Nekomata : Tell me about the Haiba-[Surname] reaction...

Kuroo : Lev gets cold a lot because of what he calls his—

*Flashback*

Lev : Medically diagnosed thin skin.

*Flashback over*

Kuroo : So he goes to the lost and found, and he grabs something that’s usually unflattering... That’s when [Name] usually gets involved.

*Flashback*

*Lev walking past [Name] wearing an oddly knitted sweater*

[Name] : *Condescending laughter* Sweet sweater, Lev! You look like you’re starting in an Albanian remake of The Cosby Show.

Lev : ...

[Name] : Dr. Huxtable! Dr. Huxtable!

*Flashback over*

Kuroo : [Name] is completely useless when Lev is wearing lost and found clothes.

Coach Nekomata : Well, I can’t really blame her on this one. Maybe we should just uh... empty lost and found.

Kuroo : Already done, sir.

*Lev walking past them in a white cowboy fringed jacket*

Kuroo : Don’t worry! I had a backup plan. I distracted [Name] with a mirror. She’s like a cockatiel, sir— Fascinated by her own reflection...

*[Name] staring at her reflection*

[Name] : Muah! Hello, sexy!~ How are you?

Lev : *Not glancing up* Right back at ya!

Coach Nekomata : Well done...

*Nekoma manager in this*

Part 3/3

Kuroo : Sir, I’m begging you, please, we have to stop!

Coach Nekomata : The problem is, we didn’t take Yaku into accounts. In our next trial—

*[Name] clears her throat whilst dramatically turning around on the office chair*

[Name] : Hello, boys. Welcome to your own office!~ I hear you’re trying to make the precinct most efficient.

Kuroo : [Name], what are you doing in the coach’s chair?

[Name] : I’ve narrowed the problem down to one location: The Coach-Kuroo vortex. Things would go a lot faster if the two of you did less experimenting and more working... And I’m not the only one who thinks that.

*Double clapping and the whole Nekoma team enters the office*.

Coach Nekomata : Well, I suppose it’s possible we may have been a tad enthusiastic in our pursuit of efficiency—

Kuroo : Really? A tad, Icarus?

Coach Nekomata : Fine, message received. Kuroo and I will get right to work.

[Name] : *Still in Coach’s chair*, Great, that will be all. Thank you.

Coach Nekomata : Get the hell out of my chair.

[Name] : Yeah, All right, I pushed it a little bit on that one. Okay~ Bye!

Kuroo : Today we face the worst Tokyo has to offer— Fukurodani Academy.

*Kuroo and Bokuto walking in slow motion towards each*

Kuroo : Fukurodani captain, Bokuto, we meet again.

Bokuto : Nekoma captain, Kuroo, your fly’s down— I made you look!

Kuroo : I didn’t look. And I’m wearing shorts, so there is no fly.

Bokuto : That’s not what your mom said.

Kuroo : You make no sense.

Bokuto : And now I’m inside your head.

{Pretend this is a divider pls}

Author’s Note : GAHHAHSA THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR 90 NOTES, I can make this a series if you’d like, they’re really fun to make and think of as characters and I just have to write them down as soon as I see them LMAOO

[onetwothreefarkle]

il me parle l'a tout bas (je vois la vie en rose)

Summary: French is a romance language, after all.

“It is hot,” Seb read off the page. “Il fait chaud. It is not hot. Il ne fait pas chaud.”

Carlos nodded along, pretending he wasn’t bored out of his mind. When Seb had suggested studying French together, Carlos had agreed, he just hadn’t realized Seb had actually meant studying. Carlos was a class ahead of Seb, having taken French 1 as a summer course, so most of Seb’s homework was review for Carlos. “Il fait froid. Il ne fait pas froid.”

Seb sighed. “You don’t have to sound so bored.”

Carlos grimaced. “Sorry, I just…know this already.”

“That’s fair,” Seb closed his textbook. “Maybe studying French together was a bad idea.”

Carlos frowned, hating the disappointment in Seb’s voice. “Hey, now. Review is an important part of learning a language.”

“I know.”

“I don’t mind it, honestly, I just…” Carlos shrugged. “When you invited me over, I didn’t think you actually meant studying.”

“What did you think I—“ He stopped short, noting Carlos’ raised eyebrow. "Oh.”

“But here we are, at your kitchen table, actually studying,” Carlos tried his best to sound wistful, batting his eyes at Seb.

Seb flushed. “I picked the kitchen for a reason.”

Carlos pouted. “You’re no fun.”

“I have a quiz tomorrow, Carlos.” Seb reopened his textbook. “I am hot. Je suis chaud.”

Carlos snorted. “I mean, you’re not wrong. But in a literal sense, you are incorrect.”

Seb glanced back at the answer in the textbook, ignoring Carlos’ blatant flirtation. “Oh, right. The helper verb is avoir.”

“Mmmhmm,” Carlos nodded. “Mais, tu es très, très chaud.”

“That’s not grammatically correct.”

“Seb!” Carlos threw his arms up. “I obviously know that!”

“Then why—“ All at once Seb seemed to finally process what Carlos had said, and he blushed bright red. “Oh. Well. Et toi aussi.”

“Oh?” Carlos scooched his chair across the linoleum floor so he was closer to Seb. “Merci beaucoup, monsieur.”

Seb scrunched up his face. “Don’t call me ‘mister’, that’s weird.”

“Mademoiselle?”

Seb considered that for a second, before finally shaking his head. “Hm. No.”

“Sébastien, then,” Carlos decided, pronouncing Seb’s given name with his best French accent (which, admittedly, was not very good).

Seb laughed. “My name sounds so fancy in French.”

“Everything sounds fancy in French.”

“Oh, yeah? Like what?” Seb had completely lost focus on his homework at this point, and was only looking at Carlos.

“Well, ice cream is la glace, doesn’t that sound fancy?” Carlos tried.

“Sure.”

“Mmmhmm, and the sun is le soleil,” Carlos continued. The sun was streaming in through the farmhouse windows, illuminating Seb’s golden hair.

“Like the circus!” Seb grinned.

“Yeah, like the circus.” Carlos responded indulgently. He took in more of Seb, searching for his next word. He settled on Seb’s eyes, bright and soft and beautiful. “Blue is bleu.”

“That’s the same word with an accent on it,” Seb laughed.

And, okay, maybe it was. “How about this then.Tu as de beaux yeux bleus.”

“What do I have?” Seb furrowed his brow. “What’s blue?”

“Honey.” Carlos shook his head. “Your eyes.”

“Oh.” Seb blushed. “Right. Duh.”

“Tu es très mignon.” Carlos laughed, bopping Seb on the nose. “You’re so cute.”

Seb’s eyes twinkled in the afternoon light. “Et toi aussi.”

Carlos blushed. “Not as cute as you.”

“Non, tu es plus mignon...uh...que moi.” Seb stumbled slightly over the sentence. “I think?”

Carlos chuckled. “Sounds right to me.” They were close enough now that Carlos could feel Seb’s breath on his skin. “So…” He swallowed. “What other words do you want to know.”

“Hm,” Seb pretended to think about it. “What about the verb to love?”

“Aimer. Or adorer, I guess.” Carlos answered instantly. “I know you know that.”

Seb smirked. “Maybe I just want to hear you say it.”

“Say what?”

Seb raised an eyebrow.

“Oh.” Carlos felt his cheeks heat up. It wasn’t like they hadn’t said it before, but it was still new enough that saying it was a rush, even in a foreign language. “Je t’aime.”

Seb lit up. “I love you, too.” He leaned forward, his lips brushing over Carlos’ cheek, before quickly pulling back. “You have more vocabulary words for me?”

Carlos nodded and licked his lips. “Lèvres. Or bouche. Bouche means mouth.”

“Thinking about lips?” Seb grinned, smug. Which wasn’t really fair because Carlos was the one who started this, so if anyone should be smug, it should be him, but somehow Seb had completely flipped the conversation on him.

“You know I am,” he answered honestly.

“Then I guess the next word we should define is ‘kiss, right?” Seb asked, tone tantalizingly slow and teasing. Carlos wanted nothing more than to kiss the smugness out of him.

Instead, he spoke. “Oh, you mean, une bise? A kiss? Une bise sur la...Oh, I don’t remember what ‘cheek’ is--”

“Doesn’t matter,” Seb cut him off. “Je veux une bise sur la bouche.”

Carlos ignored him. “Or did you mean the verb? Embrasser. J’embrasse. Tu embrasses. Il embrasse. Nous embrassons. Vous em--mmph.”

Seb cut him off with a kiss--une bise sur la bouche. He pulled Carlos in by the shirt, clutching at his lapels. In any other circumstance, Carlos would be worried about stretching out his clothes. But with Seb’s lips on his, nothing else seemed to matter. Instead, all he could do was melt into the kiss. It was sweet and slow, smoldering with a heat that promised more to come. But they didn’t need to rush things. Instead Carlos preferred to savor the moment, losing himself to the gentle slide of Seb’s lips against his.

All too soon, Seb was pulling back. “Hm. This is not the most comfortable.”

Carlos raised an eyebrow. “So, what are you gonna do about it?”

Seb’s eyes glinted, and he stood up from his chair. For a moment, Carlos thought he was going to take them to his room, but instead he lowered himself onto Carlos’ lap, straddling him. The wooden chair creaked under the extra weight. Instinctively, Carlos snaked his arms around Seb to steady him.

“Are you sure?” Carlos asked. “What if…” His breath hitched as Seb began kissing up his neck and jaw, sucking slightly on the sensitive spot behind Carlos’ ear. “What if someone comes in?”

“No one.” Seb spoke between kisses. “Else.” Kiss. “Is.” Kiss. “Here.”

Carlos pulled Seb off his neck to look him in the eye. “So much for picking the kitchen for a reason.”

Seb blinked at him. “You started it.”

Before Carlos could retort, Seb’s lips were crashing into his, stealing his words and breath. In response, he brought one of his hands up to the back of Seb’s neck, letting his fingers run through Seb’s hair, and pulling him in deeper. The heat that had smoldered underneath the first kiss came bubbling to the surface as they came together for the second time, and they were on fire. Seb ran his tongue along Carlos’ bottom lip, before nibbling just enough to send shivers down Carlos’ spine. Carlos kissed back in kind, gratified when Seb let out a soft gasp from somewhere in the back of his throat.

They carried on for minutes, or maybe hours, before Seb was pulling back to catch his breath. Carlos grinned at his own handiwork--at Seb’s mussed hair and swollen lips, before tilting Seb’s head back down, pressing their foreheads together.

“I guess,” Seb started, still somewhat breathless, “that’s why they call it French kissing.”

Carlos groaned. “Shut up.”

Seb leaned back in. “Gladly.”

[turtlegirlave]

So this has a ton of opinions which I usually stray away from but i really let all my opinions out here. Also there is definitely fact mistakes, probably name mistakes and some incorrect singing terms in here, I wrote this at 2 A.M. with a limited knowledge of theater I’m just trying to get a point across.

Why s2 of hsm the series should have been newsies instead of beauty and the beast:

They say straight up in the show “we need a real Alan Menkhen musical” and they pick beauty and the beast instead of newsies, a literal Broadway stage production???

At first I assumed it was because the cast was primarily male, but that isn’t even a reasonable argument. 1)as shown by s1 when a boy played sharpay, gender doesn’t matter when being considered for a role. 2), a cast with multiple male leads would give the gay men in the show a chance to shine, instead of shoving them to background roles like Chip. Not to mention Carlos is a dancer, and newsies is a musical driven by choreography. 3), since nini moved there are only like 2 lead females anyway, which works for the 2 female roles in newsies.

Casting Wise, the play works SO MUCH better!

Ricky: jack kelley is a much better role for him than the beast for many reasons. First, their personalities are very similar with the mischievous main teen vibe, so the role would be like Troy where Ricky can slip into it easier. Second, it fits him better vocally. It is very clear from listening to Joshua basset sing that he has a relatively high vocal range, and singing low notes or in a deep voice doesn’t come as naturally to him. Jeremy Jordan has a similar vocal range, where he stays in higher octaves and more rarely uses a deep, monotone voice (at least never to the beast’s extent). Ricky would sound perfect singing in Jack’s vocal range. The beast, however, sings almost exclusively in an extremely deep, monotone voice that Joshua cannot easily perform.

Ashlyn: not only does she look quite similar to Katherine, but they have similar personalities as well. Also, katherine’s high and bubbly singing voice would sound lovely with Ash’s, which is also high and bubbly but often softer. This would allow her to push herself to sing louder and more confidently. And she still gets to play a smart bookworm lead female role.

Kourtney: she was born to play miss medda larken. Mrs. Potts’ debut song “beauty and the beast” is a soft romance ballad, which does not match kourt’s stadium reach, strong, powerful voice. “That’s rich” not only shows off her vocals better, but matches her personality and voice much better with the grit and power behind it. Also, Mrs Potts as a character is the soft, motherly type. Miss medda is a rambunctious, empowered, “I got men if I want em but I don’t need em” kinda woman. Which role better fits the girl power, loud, activist, personal cheer squad type person that Kourtney is?

Carlos and Sebastian: not only would this stop shoving the gays and only interesting men other than Ricky to background roles (sorry big red), but it would show off their talents. Seb would make a wonderful crutchy, with his innocent nature and likeness to the character. It would also give him a chance to flex his vocals and sing a duet with Ricky in Santa Fe, further developing the friendships in the show. Carlos could play really any of the main boys, I mostly think he would kill in this due to his dance and choreography skills, which newsies really emphasizes.

Big red: PLEASE this boy would be perfect as Ben Cook’s role (can’t remember the newsie’s name). They’re both the kinda dumb but endearing friend type, and he leads “king of New York”, a song with a killer tap dancing break, which is the whole reason big red wanted to try out! His chemistry with Ricky as crutchy would make that a fine role for him too, but since Sebastian has stronger vocals I think it’s better for him to take a more prominent role while big red relies on his dancing skills over singing.

Gina: though there’s no more lead girl roles, I think she would kill it as mr. Pulitzer. They could add some spice to the character through her insane dance skills, and she would play a great “cunning yet intelligent buisinesswoman” type. This dude also gets 2 or 3 songs, and honestly I don’t remember who she plays in Beauty and the beast so idk.

EJ: I admit Gaston is a perfect role for him and I can’t fit him into newsies well. He would play a good spot conlin, though it is a significantly smaller role. No one really cares about ej though so small loss.

Plot valuability:

doing newsies makes literally way more sense. Firstly, they are kinda planning entering this show last-minute compared to the competition, so to pick a show already written and choreographed for stage production would really save time. (Even though it would still need work to be condensed for a high school production). Second, miss Jen is so determined to stand out from the crowd and win the contest so she picks... beauty and the beast? One of the most popular Disney movies (and honestly with one of Alan’s weaker soundtracks compared to tangled, Aladdin, and the little mermaid imo). Having them do newsies, especially when switching up gender roles like casting Gina as Pulitzer, would actually make them stand apart from the dozens of schools performing Disney movies. It would also give a significantly more impressive vocal and dance performance, since the songs were written for Broadway singers rather than actors. The set is also more cheap and condensed, while still looking professional, which would help with their “we’re too poor and late to afford a straight-up aquarium so let’s do the most with what we’ve got.” Putting the characters in these roles would also not alter their development or main story plots much, besides strengthening certain friendships and pushing aside less popular characters (ej). It would also give more rep for the gays as well as switching up gender roles. Imagine, the gay guys get actual things to do in the show and aren’t defined by the sole plot of “my boyfriend rich” relationship drama! (I love these two but I am a tired ace). Also jerjor performs in both this and tangled the series, so it’s a double whammy for Alan menkhen representation.

Marketability: I know the musical has to be widely known and appealing to viewers. People watched s1 because they love hsm. People also love beauty and the beast, so viewership may raise with fans of the movie. Newsies doesn’t die here, though. It is a very widely popular play among theatre people, and existed first as a movie musical so it isn’t exclusive to theater kids. Also, fans of Newsies are generally between their tweens and early twenties, the exact age demographic for the show. Beauty and the beast is a classic and more widely known, but also doesn’t draw in large numbers of the exact age group you want. Also, the fact that newsies is a little less mainstream only helps the plot point of them choosing it to still have something well known while also standing out from the competition. Doing beauty and the beast is not only an awful choice for casting that limits the actors vocals or is completely out of their range, but it also makes them blend in with the crowd.

Final notes: beauty and the beast was IMO the worst choice for the play this season. Movies like Aladdin and tangled both have very energetic and loud soundtracks that allow these characters to belt their hearts out. Beauty and the beast has a very folksy, quiet, ballad type of track that limits the actors. The only actor that I think sings ballads better than big booming tracks is Nini, who isn’t even in the play this year. Ricky also sings great ballads, which is why ballads that are still slow but also emotional and powerful like “Santa fe” or “something to believe in” (which would sound AMAZING in his and Ashlyn’s voices) fit much better than the deep voice of the beast that he can not comfortably sing in. Also, the beast has very few songs whereas newsies would allow him to belt his heart out in nearly every song with that lovely voice he has. The age range of the newsies cast (that characters are supposed to be 17) fits better with these very teen actors than a movie about old fashioned French young adults. Really newsies was the best musical choice for this season, but I also believe beauty and the beast was the last one they should have chosen.

(After reading comments I rescind my statement that beauty and the beast was the worst choice, but it’s still second to newsies imo)

Feel free to debate me in the comments or point out my mistakes, I’m very open to other points of view

[yourfinalbow]

"if Destiel wasn't on the cards, why is it Canon" u mean that unrequited love confession from Cas? Lmao. Jensen is literally homophobic yall trying to push him into Destiel ain't for the sake of representation its for the sake of you own little MLM fetish ship. Two straight actors ain't good gay rep. Even if Destiel was requited by Dean. Again, stop being a loser.

Hi! I'm actually glad you came to my ask box, it gives me an excuse to try and clear up some of these misconceptions.

So first of all, we don't technically know if it's unrequited. There is a lot of tinhatting involved in Destiel shipping, but there is also some solid evidence behind it. I personally believe that Dean returns Castiel’s confession, but didn’t have time to react to it. (I wouldn’t know what to do if my best friend of twelve years told me they made a deal with the Empty, was about to die, loved me, his love for me is the reason he’s about to die, and then continued to tell me that everything I believed about myself is wrong.) Some people also believe that Dean may have thought that if he didn’t say anything, the Empty wouldn’t come. Others believe that he did say something, but it was cut. (Which actually isn’t as far fetched as it sounds, considering scripts are sent to dubbing companies ahead of time and he reciprocated in almost every Latin American dub, as well as in French and Italian. And before you claim that there was a “rogue translator”, I must say that the script and dub has to go through very many heads before it is aired, so practically the entire company would have to be in on it. There are also a lot of strange jump cuts in the scene.) People have their personal headcanons, and you have yours! That’s perfectly fine, though anonymously telling me, and another awesome human being, that I’m a loser for having my headcanon is actually incredibly coward-like, presumptuous, and disrespectful.

So while Dean didn’t tell Cas he loved him in the English version, (Though I don’t know why that’s the only one that matters, considering only 13% of the world speaks it.) That doesn’t mean it’s not canon however, just unconfirmed on one side. (So your previous statement, “Destiel was never on the cards. Lol.”, is both grammatically incorrect and false.)

Your next statement, however, is the one that rubs me the wrong way. Jensen Ackles is not homophobic. I’ll link a few posts below that completely disprove this, but just because you don’t ship a queer ship, doesn’t make you homophobic. There’s also his infamous gay Aunt, and in my experience of homophobic-people-interacting-with-their-gay-family-members, (which is sadly a good enough amount to have a proper viewpoint), they don’t usual act as comfortable and open as Jensen and Aunt Darla, (and her wife!) are with eachother.

-Twitter thread of him being comfortable with queer peeps.

-CW’s “Dare to Defy” Campaign. (This movement is still very important, but the words don't hold as much weight to me personally after seeing what they did in the finale.)

-Tumblr post with Jensen being supportive of queer peeps. (He's even raised money for people in the LGBTQIA+ community anon. A homophobic person does not do that.)

You also have to take into consideration how comfortable he is with his male friends. I’m not saying he himself is apart of the LGBTQIA+ community, but there are countless videos and pictures of him being comfortable with both Jared and Misha, and that’s something homophobic people tend to stay away from. Once again, this doesn’t mean he himself is queer, and obviously people can love each other platonically! But people who are super religious and stead fast against gay people, usually go out of their way to not be seen as gay. And it’s clear it doesn’t bother J2M at all.

Jensen has also, in recent years, made jokes about Destiel. My favorite one is probably the, “Dean has no taste, clearly.” You can find that here because it genuinely makes my day. And if he was truely homophobic, I doubt he would be comfortable with things like this, as well as Jared constantly poking fun at him about both Misha and Destiel. (He would have at least pulled Jared aside privately and asked him nicely not to do that anymore. There are ways of doing this without seeming homophobic, and in reverse, just because he doesn’t want someone to make jokes like that doesn’t make him homophobic.) Third, I personally want Destiel to be canon because A, having two famous and main characters on a long-running Sci-Fi show, that was originally intended to be incredibly heterosexual, come out as queer would be good representation. People need to see that it’s okay to not be straight. Queer people have been oppressed for thousands of years, so being able to see themselves in their favorite show and characters is so powerful. Especially if these characters live long, happy lives together. And I argue that the actors don’t have to be gay themselves to play a gay character. People cross the borders on gender, sex, age, and nationality all the time. Why should sexual orientation be any different? And the B, because it's my otp. Simple as that.

And I don’t speak for the entire Destiel community, just as you don’t speak for the entire community of people who don’t ship them, but I personally don’t fetishize m|m. I actually get no enjoyment out of reading smut, and actively avoid it. I ship them because they have great chemistry, an interesting and often romantic storyline, and they obviously care about each other very much. Their gender has no impact on that. I ship w|w couples, (I actually wish there were more of them, because having my own representation is important to me), as well as heterosexual and nonbinary ones too.

So you can call me a loser anon, and honestly, I’ll embrace it. But I’m not the one coming into people’s ask boxes and hating on them, just because they want to ship two awesome people. I don’t judge you for what you ship, so I ask you return the favor. (But feel free to come talk to me again about anything else.) And since you seem to be having a bad day and taking it out on others, here's a gif for you!

And if anyone wants to respectfully add anything to this post, go ahead!

[skiller0dani]

L’amour De Ma Vie | Timothee Chalamet

M A S T E R L I S T

smut  requests info wanna be on a Timmy taglist? click here missed part 1? read it here

so I did my Billy Mitman thing. please let me know what you think as the chapters come out, I’m so nervous about it. love you babes xx  I’m running out of ideas, please send me requests l m a o 

btw I used google translate for the french bits don’t come at me if it’s incorrect. Timmy isn’t here to write the french parts for me :(  the translation will be located next to the french, italicized and in quotation marks. 

I listened to ‘La Vie En Rose’ by Chloe Moriondo during writing this. is perfectly captures the mood I was going for. 

Catch Up! Read Part One Here!

Public relationships are hard to maintain, with all the attention and expectations. 

The media and even fans expect the relationship to progress at a certain rate, and when Tim was dating Lily-Rose Depp, everyone was waiting for him to propose. But he wasn’t ready for that. Still isn’t. He wasn’t sure if it’s him that’s not ready or if it was the person. It’s not that Lily had done anything wrong, she didn’t. It was all Tim. Whatever he currently had with you was a huge relief, nobody even knew you existed in his life, not even his parents. Not Armie, not his family, not anybody. Tim wasn’t keeping you a secret because he was ashamed, no it wasn’t that. He needs a secret right now, something just for him and you. Something he could hide away in, and while he didn’t intend on meeting you when he’d gone to the club he can say meeting you was exactly what he needed. Tim did have to do some damage control during interviews when asked about the ‘mysterious girl’ he was seen exiting the club with that night. 

Tim always said you were an old friend, he said he hadn’t even seen you since. That it was a huge coincidence that he even ran into you. That’s not true of course, Tim sees you every single day that he can. The days he doesn’t see you, he calls you any chance he can get. Never in his life has he felt so obsessed with somebody, so completely consumed. Sure the sex was great, but talking to you was so much better than any of that. In recent weeks Tim has been avoiding having sex with you, it’s not that he doesn’t want to he does. He just doesn’t want you to think that’s the sole reason he sticks around. Lily took it personally towards the end of their relationship when Tim would turn down sex. He just didn’t feel like it, at least not with her. That’s when he knew he needed to end the relationship. 

Sometimes even private relationships are hard to maintain it would seem.  

Of course there were a lot of tabloids who didn’t quite buy his “just an old friend” story, and wrote speculative articles as to who you were. The two of you found it quite entertaining to read the theories, and to watch the fans unravel because who the hell are you?? Are you and Tim dating?? No you’re probably just family, oh my gosh but are you just family?? It was hilarious, in a cruel sort of way. Tim worried at first, made sure you weren’t too overwhelmed with all this attention on you even though the paparazzi didn’t even get a picture of your face. When you took him home from the club you had no clue Tim was internationally famous, he feels like maybe he should have told you before you fucked in the nightclub bathroom. You seemed intrigued by his career and the films he’d been in, he found that endearing. When the two of you first started seeing each other more often you’d told him you were going to watch every single movie he’d ever been in. Turns out you’re a woman of your word, because you then proceeded to watch every single movie he had ever starred in. Even briefly. 

Tim’s dad was never super inquisitive about his sons dating life, if it was someone Tim really saw a future with then he knew Tim would bring her by sooner or later. However you seemed to be something Tim remained very tight lipped about. Tim almost never mentioned you, and he always changed the subject if his dad questioned him about this mystery women who seems to have captured his sons attention. Tim really doesn’t know why his desire to keep you a complete secret to everyone is so strong, but he feels like he needs to keep you a secret. So when Tim’s phone rang and he saw his fathers contact for the 3rd time today, he grew nervous and nearly declined the call. 

“Bonjour fils,” “Hello son.” His father greets cheerfully, but Tim knows better. He knows something is up. “Dad, comment vas-tu?” “Dad, how are you?” Tim wipes his sweaty palms on his jeans as the dark clouds begin to gather together overhead. “I am well, but I do have a question for you.” His accent is thick, but Tim is used to it. It’s not the accent he’s focused on anyway. Tim’s parents become inquisitive only when they know Tim is hiding something important from them which is almost never. The silence on the other end of the phone is unnerving. “La fille, who is she?” Tim falls silent, he’s not entirely surprised this is the question his father needed to ask him right this moment. Tim itches the back of his neck as rain begins to drizzle down, Tim takes this opportunity to abort the call. “Dad? Dad? Sorry I can’t hear you.” Tim says, before faking a bad signal and hanging up. He feels guilty but he’s not ready to answer his dads question.

He was supposed to be walking to your small condo today, but clearly the rain has other plans as Tim stands a porch soaked to the bone.  

Normally Tim would drive but his car is too easily recognizable and it’s easier for him to disguise himself when he’s walking. His teeth chatter as his phone rings, he’s not at all surprised when he sees your name pop up on the screen. “Tim where are you? You’re going to get sick out there.” Your voice is thick with concern. It makes the corners of Tim’s mouth quirk up. Checking the closest street sign Tim signs, “still a few blocks away.” He says but is cut off when he hears your keys rattling. Seeing the streets flowing with a few inches of water as the rain begins to downpour, Tim’s voice is a little more worried than he intended when he spoke again. “No it’s way too dangerous for you to drive.” He protests but when he hears your front door shut he knows arguing with you is pointless. Tim slides his phone back into his pocket when he sees a bolt of lightning flash across the sky, luckily it should only take you a few minutes to reach him. 

With a flash of your headlights, Tim jogs to the passenger side of your car. 

His teeth are chattering hard and his wet hair clings to his forehead. There’s a healthy shade of rosy pink on his cheeks as he shudders when the heat hits him. “If you get sick I’m going to feel so bad for making you walk.” You begin your eyes glancing over at him during the short drive back to your place. Tim reaches over the center console, his ice cold hand finding yours as he squeezes once. “D-Don’t worry ab-bout it. I’ll be f-fine.” His voice is shaky as the shattering interrupts him. You wrap your tiny but warm hand around his as the rain pounds against the windshield. You can barely see. You don’t believe that he’ll be fine, and if he gets sick his director is going to be pissed. You pull into the garage at your house, and rush him inside. 

“Clothes off!” You exclaim as the two of you enter your kitchen. Tim raises an eyebrow at you, a playful smile on his face as he reaches for the button of his wet jeans. “Because they’re wet.” You sigh when he waggles his eyebrows at you. He shrugs with a wide grin on his face as you turn to get some of his clothes he’s left here from the laundry room. When you return to the kitchen, you nearly have to squeeze your thighs together at the sight before you. Tim is standing in nothing but his boxers, a towel over his head as he dries his hair. Droplets of water run down his toned chest and along his v lines. His eyes are closed as he pulls the towel away from his tousled damp strands. Tim’s eyes open and he smirks when he sees you, obviously letting your eyes trail down his body. “Can I have my clothes or are you going to stand there and check me out some more?” He teases, loving how your face blooms in a dark crimson blush. You release your vise grip on his clothes and hand them to him, your cheeks blushing even hotter when he sends a wink your way. 

You felt arousal rush through your body as you watched Tim yank his shirt over his head. 

Tim rolls his eyes playfully after he pulls on a pair of sweatpants and he sees you still gawking at him. He approaches you and presses a quick kiss to your lips before running his hands down your arms. While the two of you aren’t technically together, you do everything a couple does. Tim knows he could ask you and you’d say yes, but even that feels risky. It makes his chest close when he thinks about it, what you two have now is safe. It’s familiar. “Drink and movie?” He asks and you nod with a smile, moving to choose a movie as Tim heads into the kitchen to make drinks. You both feel comfortable getting a little tipsy, it’s obvious he’s going to be spending the night tonight. Even if it wasn’t raining he’d probably spend the night anyway. Tim spends more nights here than he does at his own apartment. You look through the movies, a heaviness in your chest. Why won’t he ask you to be his girlfriend? You know how you feel, you think you know how he feels. The way he acts, it seems like he really likes you. 

Holding your movie choice in your hand you skip back down the stairs, seeing that Tim has set up the DVD player and is waiting on the couch. 

“Whatcha pick babe?” Tim asks, popping an almond into his mouth as you kneel down to insert the disk. You smile but you don’t say anything as the DVD player reads the disk. The opening screen for ‘Call Me By Your Name’ comes on and you hear Tim groan. “It’s the only one of your movies I haven’t seen yet.” You smile as you snuggle into the couch next to him. Tim’s arm wraps around you as he keeps munching on the almond, watching the opening scene come on. “Yeah but this has sex scenes, you think I enjoy watching myself have fake sex?” Tim asks, discomfort on his face as you laugh. You reach over to take an almond from him, “I know I’ll sure enjoy it.” You smile and you feel his lips press against your head briefly. Your head rests against his chest as you take a sip of the drink he’s decided to make you. “Hm been forever since I had a gin and tonic.” You smile when you feel him squeeze you. 

When you see Tim come onto the screen, you can’t help but gush over how cute he is. 

“Oh Timmy! You’re so cute.” You squeal, loving how his cheeks tint pink at your complements. Tim only shakes his head at you as you continue to coo at the Tim on the screen, the only way he can get you to stop is to press his lips against yours for a short, sweet kiss. As the movie continues, you can’t stay focused. It’s not the movie, it’s a really good movie and you’re certain it’s become one of your favorites. No it’s not that it’s a bad movie, it’s the stupid adorable boy sitting next to you. You’re tired of the two of you dancing around what you really want to be, you don’t know what he’s still waiting for. Your cheek presses into his chest as you only half watch the movie. You take another big drink of your gin and tonic before resting against Tim again. Almost as though he can read your thoughts Tim pauses the movie and sits up to look at you. “What is it?” He asks, turning to sit in front of you, his legs folded. You blink as innocently as you can, but when you see the look in his eyes you know you can’t beat around the bush any longer. 

“I really like you Tim, I want to be with you...it just feels like you don’t want that too.” You admit, your eyes not meeting his as you stare down at the couch. You hear a deep sigh come from Tim before he takes your hands, his thumbs rubbing along the backs of your hands. Tim reaches forward to hook a finger under your chin to bring your eyes up to meet his. He was afraid he’d make you feel this way, he never meant to. He wants you more than you could ever understand. “I want that, more than I could ever put into words. I guess I’m just afraid that if we go there, what we have will change. I don’t want this to change or to become the ‘medias’ relationship rather than our relationship.” Tim says softly, and your eyebrows pinch together. 

“What do you mean?” You ask him, your hands curling around his tighter, and you see him nibble on the inside of his cheek. “When I dated Lily, she always wanted us to act a certain way for the camera. Or maybe I just felt like we needed to be different for the medias eyes. It was so much work always having to be careful about what I did with her or said to her because there were eyes on us all the time. What I have with you makes me feel so free, I don’t want that to change. I don’t want us to be poisoned by the media.” Tim says, and you can tell a huge weight has been lifted from his chest by him saying this. Your hands reach up to cup his cheeks as you pull his lips to meet yours. 

“That won’t ever happen to us. We’ll be careful about the media, we’ll keep this a secret.” You reassure him as you crawl into his lap. You see the look of fear on his face beginning to melt away as he winds his arms tightly around your waist. Tim’s forehead presses firmly against yours, “so do you really want to do this, with me?” He asks and you know he isn’t joking. He’s being dead serious. You wind your arms around his neck with a smile on your face as you brush your nose against his. “I want to be yours.” You whisper and he smiles before he stands, with your legs wound around his waist. “Then be my girlfriend.” Tim whispers and instead of answering you press your lips firmly against his. He carries you up the stairs, his lips beginning to move more frantically against yours. His hands slide down your back to grab at your ass, causing you to gasp into his mouth. 

He drops you unceremoniously onto the bed, his hands immediately sliding up to hook into your sleep shorts you have on. Tim’s lips pepper kisses along your collarbones and neck. Your back arches into him as you card your fingers through his damp hair, still mostly wet from the rain. Tim pulls your shorts down your legs slowly and groans softly when he sees you’re not wearing panties. He kisses his way down to the swells of your breasts. You start to lean up to remove your tank top but Tim reaches up and grabs your shirt between his hands before yanking, splitting the fabric in half. You moan as he does so, immediately pulling his head down to your chest. Tim chuckles against your skin as you arch against him, whining as his right hand slides between your bodies to toy with your clit. “God Tim,” You moan, your voice broken as you wriggle your hips against his hand. Tim’s lips latch to your nipple as he slides 2 fingers into your wet opening. 

You spread your thighs wider for him as his teeth gently sink into your nipple causing you to cry out. Tim begins to quickly pump his fingers into you while whispering dirty words into the skin of your breasts. “Gonna cum all over my fingers baby?” His voice is husky and you can’t offer more than a frantic nod as he scissors his fingers open to stretch you. “Fuck Tim!” You cry out, your fingers curling around your bed sheets as he crawls down your body to latch his lips to your clit. He sucks your clit into his mouth to flick it with his tongue and as he does so you explode around his fingers but he doesn’t stop. Your eyes roll back as he continues to pleasure you, the overstimulation becoming too much. As you feel your orgasm approaching a second time Tim bites gently at your clit and it’s like a switch flips inside you, and you squirt all over him. 

Your chest is heaving as Tim pulls away, quite literally covered in your cum. You blush hard as he wipes his face, his pupils dilated as he gazes down at you with a lustful smile. “Fuck baby you’ve never squirted before, you’re so sexy.” Tim growls as he leans down to press his lips against yours again, to try and kiss away your embarrassment. You feel the head of his cock nudging against your entrance and you immediately part your thighs wider to make room for him between your legs. “Mine?” Tim asks, his eyes soft as one of his hands reaches up to brush hair away from your face. “Yours.” You confirm, nuzzling your nose against his as he slowly pushes into you. With one languid thrust Tim slides all the way inside you, and you both gasp in pleasure. You press a hand to his hip to hold him deep inside you. Tim’s forehead presses against yours as he sits still inside you, “L’amour de ma vie.” He mutters, his French rolling smoothly off his lips. You smile as you press your lips to his, even though you don’t know what it means you’re sure it means something beautiful. 

Tim pulls his hips back and gently slides back into you, and you see starts when he hits that spot inside you that makes your toes curl. Tim continues to slide sensually and gently into you before drawing his hips back and driving into you softly again. Your forehead stays pressed against his as both of you pant into each others mouths as you feel your high coming up on you again. “I’m gonna cum baby,” You cry out softly as you grab and claw at his shoulders. Tim continues his slow and steady pace, his lips finding the skin of your neck. With a few more swift thrusts into you, you come undone around his cock. Feeling you squeeze him Timothee groans, cumming inside you in gentle spurts. 

Tim pulls out of you with a wince before rolling onto his back beside you. “What did it mean?” You ask as you turn your head to look at him. A cheeky smile crosses onto his face as he presses a kiss to your lips. “Maybe learn some French and you’ll know.” He teases and you roll your eyes as you hop up from the bed. Tim smiles as he pushes off the bed, “come on! We still haven’t finished the movie!” Your excited little voice calls from downstairs and Tim smiles while shaking his head. He doesn’t even bother to put his clothes on, you didn’t. 

You really are the love of his life. 

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