#I know technically it’s not much people are out there working 8 hours every day

[spineless-lobster]

The only thing getting me through this week is the wisdom saga istg I’m gonna be so tired but that’s okay because I know life and fate are scary but I wanna be legendary

[ja3yun]

Melting Point | P.SH | CH.8

brother's rival!sunghoon x fem!reader warnings: angst, smut (mdni), unprotected sex, fingering, rose toy, multiple orgasms, confrontation, ynhee's mum (she's a warning all in herself), anything else lmk! ch. 8 synopsis: the weekend of nationals is finally here and there's a buzz in the air but of course, nothing can run as smoothly as you plan. sunghoon lets you in on minhee and his private conversation, leaving you stuck between a rock and a hard place. wc: 13.6k previous | masterlist | next a/n: hi! i cannot believe melting point ends NEXT WEEK like wdym :( this chapter really explains everything you need to know about the story and everything w the mum so this is an important one <3 thank you all so much for the love. as always i really value your feedback/comments/likes/reblogs. nothing makes me happier than reading your theories and comments, thank you so much! pls enjoy.

Heaving your case, you start to wonder if you packed too much for the weekend. It’s not like you meant to cram in 6 different outfits, 3 pairs of shoes, and every piece of makeup you own - you just wanted to be extra prepared; that and you’re indecisive.

It’s finally Nationals weekend which means everything the boys have been working so hard for is here, only 2 days away. Technically, they should have been in Seoul already but you had a prelim exam today so they both waited for you to be finished before heading out.

The decision wasn’t your favourite, considering they’re missing parts of the press conferences and extra training but they assured you it was the easiest scapegoat out of travelling with the coaches and answering the usual ‘ideal type’ and ‘boyfriend’ questions that get thrown at them.

Considering they were top athletes, you would think the reporters would have more intelligent questions. Sunghoon had told you the last press event he did, the reporters just decided to try and ask him questions he knew would make him look arrogant and cocky with both women and on the ice.

It irks you how everyone has this preconceived perception about the man you love who would bend over backwards to make people happy. He says it doesn’t bother him and therefore it shouldn’t burden you but that's your man and he’s being slandered over news websites, it’s only right you get a little annoyed.

You can hear Sunghoon now as you think about it, telling you “at least I can back up my massive ego with a first place”, and he’s right, but it still doesn’t make you any more okay with it.

Presently, you’re walking down your campus path to the main road, on the way to meet both Minhee and Sunghoon. Somehow, you’ve managed to convince them to drive to the competition together. It took Minhee more convincing than Sunghoon, his biggest objection being you and your boyfriend all over one another.

There’s a mastermind plan to your reasoning; you want them to get along and forcing them in a close proximity for more than 3 hours seems like the best way to do it. Well, you’ve convinced yourself it’s the best way. Plus, you can try and pry out of them what they were talking about the other day in the coach’s office.

Looking ahead, you see Sunghoon and Minhee talking, or rather bickering about something. 

This might be harder than you thought.

“You are NOT driving my baby, she doesn’t need your hands all over her,” you hear Sunghoon say, arms crossed in defence.

“Come on, man! It’s a 3-hour drive and you look tired. I’ll take the wheel and you go for a sleep in the back,” Minhee retorts, pleased with himself for his reasoning; yet, Sunghoon doesn’t budge, adamant that your brother will never get the driver’s seat. 

It’s oddly refreshing to see them argue about something so trivial and not try to tear each other’s character down. They’re nipping at one another like friends do. You and Rina have had your fair share of minisode arguments about throwaway things like this so seeing them do the same makes you smile.

However, you will stop it, just in case Sunghoon gets too riled up - you know how he can get when it comes to his car. You spilled the tiniest bit of your blueberry juice on the seat and he nearly crashed into the traffic light. He’s very dramatic and overly protective.

“Mini, if you drive, I’ll just make out with Hoon in the back the whole drive there,” you laugh.

Your boys turn around at the sudden sound of your voice, both wearing different expressions. Sunghoon’s face upturns into brightness as he sees you, his arms come undone, and his body visibly relaxes. He looks as handsome as ever with his hair styled and smart-casual outfit; grey-collared sweater with black pressed trousers.

Minhee on the other hand is disgusted at the thought of you climbing all over your boyfriend for hours on end. He’s wearing some jeans, a plain white t-shirt, and a brown leather jacket, it’s his typical choice but he suits it.

Taking your luggage, Sunghoon whispers a ‘hey’ into your lips as he kisses you tenderly. The display of affection only makes Minhee fake gag, “Suddenly, I don’t want to drive anymore,” your brother scoffs, yielding his earlier argument in trade for some peace from the love parade.

You let out a light laugh, moving from Sunghoon to hug Minhee, “You’ve made the right choice,” the airiness in your voice matches the contentment you feel as he hugs you, ruffling your hair in the process. 

While Sunghoon puts your case in the boot, grunting about how heavy it is, you take the opportunity to warn Minhee, “Please be nice to him, okay? I want you both to get along.” It’s a simple request but the seriousness in your eyes conveys everything Minhee has to know.

"I'll tolerate him," he pinches your cheek and offers you an understanding smile when he notices your harsh expression, "Okay, I promise I'll be on my best behaviour." He enters the car with hands raised in faux defence.

You knew he'd behave even before you warned him, but you had to do it since the temptation to fall back into habit might be too strong for both of them. That is why Minhee isn't the only one whom you are warning.

As you walk up to Sunghoon, he closes the trunk with a soft thud, "Can you try getting along with Mini today? It'd mean a lot to me if you guys could at least give friendship a shot," you gently suggest.

"I'll do my best to make us leave here best buddies," Sunghoon replies with fake enthusiasm, "But baby, I gotta tell you, the drive here wasn't great. Did you know he sticks his foot up on the seat? Made things pretty uncomfortable for my girl," he says, giving the car's rear a pat, still bothered by Minhee's lack of respect for the second most important girl in his life.

Your brother wasn’t always the best at reading a situation and considering it’s the first time he was in Sunghoon’s car, he should have been a little more gracious. But he’s Minhee, that’s just how he is.

“Did you tell him not to do it?” you ask, looking through the back window to see the back of your brother’s head.

“Obviously, he just ignored me,” Sunghoon feigns a pain in his heart, “It was tragic.”

His dramatic act earns him an eye roll and no reaction, “I will tell him if he does it.”

With the promises sealed up with one more kiss, you both clamber into your respective seats, ready for the long journey ahead.

The roads are busier than normal, a traffic jam on the motorway is going to add an extra 25 minutes to your time. You don’t mind it, given you're not the one driving, but Sunghoon is getting impatient, the fingers on his left hand tapping on the wheel while his right hand subconsciously grips your thigh, using you like his personal stress ball.

Minhee couldn’t be more relaxed, his body has somehow managed to lounge himself over the back seat, phone in his hand as he plays house flipper. 

“We should put on the radio or something, might make this go in faster,” you suggest, already reaching for the screen. None of them complain, too busy in their own worlds to notice. This car drive was supposed to bond them and so far the only conversation they have had was to text the coaches and let them know they would be late; hardly riveting.

The speakers quietly play the sound of Sza’s Kill Bill which has both of them bobbing their heads. Even just the addition of music has made the car feel less awkward. 

You don’t want to force them to be friends but you also want to say you tried to meld them together in some capacity. These two men are the most precious people in your life and if they don’t get along, your plan to hang out together will be foiled. Even worse, your secret scheme to have Sunghoon over for Christmas dinner would also be ruined. Christmas is already tense enough never mind adding in two people who can’t even speak to one another.

The next song that plays makes Minhee sit up sharply and you whip your head around to look at him.

Maybe it's the way she walked

Singing the song at each other, you and your brother showcase your sibling brain cells by belting out your joined karaoke song. It was unintentional and you don’t remember specifically how it happened, but one day One Direction’s Best Song Ever became the song you would sing together at every function, both of you staying up late to learn the dance and all the dialogue lines. Minhee swore blindly that he would make a better Liam/Leroy than you but you proved him wrong pretty quickly. 

The abrupt change in atmosphere jolts Sunghoon to look at you both wildly while you both sing loudly. He does note how Minhee can actually sing and you, well, you’ve got spirit. The smile on his face gradually gets bigger, the happiness between the siblings infecting him. 

And we danced all night to the best song ever

We knew every line, now I can't remember

He hasn’t seen you get this excited in a while, the pressure of keeping too many secrets from too many people had a weighted effect on you, yet, now that’s gone, you look as light as a feather, enjoying your life free of guilt and shame, a life where you have Minhee by your side and him on the other.

If it’s the last thing he does, he will make sure to become friends with Minhee by the end of the weekend. 

The makeshift choreo you and Minhee created for the verses comes back easily, both your arms flapping around the place, hairography and all the rest of it. The laughter filtering through Minhee’s singing makes you feel like you’re finally home.

Minhee extends a metaphorical microphone to Sunghoon, attempting to draw him into your shared joy. It's not a conscious effort, but rather a natural inclination to include him in this moment, making him feel like a part of the Kang family, even if just for a song. There was also a tiny bit of him hoping Sunghoon had the worst voice out of the three of you, giving him something to slag him about.

“Nope, sorry, I don’t sing,” Sunghoon protests, moving his focus to the ever-so-slowly moving traffic.

“Come on, Hoonie, you know the words! You already told me you were a Louis girl,” you chuckle, also holding out your pretend microphone to join Minhee.

With the Kang siblings eagerly awaiting his participation, Sunghoon relents, quietly joining in the singing. His voice isn’t loud, he’s cautiously singing the song with you and Minhee, letting you both take the lead on it. He appreciates the effort Minhee made to involve him but this is also clearly you and Minhee’s joint thing, he doesn’t want to intervene too much.

However, that’s not sitting with any of you, “Sunghoon put some chutzpah into it!” Minhee encourages.

Minhee is trying his best, the once subconscious act is now intended, he wants you to know he’s trying to get along with your boyfriend despite their past. You deserve that much.

There’s a glimmer of amusement in Sunghoon’s eyes as he gets sucked into the infectious energy of the moment and becomes more vocal. What neither you nor Minhee expects is for Sunghoon’s voice to be as good as it was. You had heard him sing maybe once in the shower but you weren’t paying attention, not like now. Now he has your full attention, leaving him and your brother to harmonise together.

As Niall's part comes on, Minhee playfully nudges your arm, signalling your turn to sing, a cue you eagerly follow. At that moment, the confines of the car seem to expand, enveloping you all in a bubble of pure bliss and laughter. It's something you want to etch into your memory, a snapshot of unfiltered happiness that you'll treasure forever.

The final lines of the song resonate through the air, and a sense of contentment settles over you all, transforming the cold winter morning outside into something warm and inviting, much like a spring day.

Minhee reaches over and pats Sunghoon on the shoulder, offering him a genuine compliment. "You've got a set of pipes on you, mate," he remarks, devoid of any tension, prompting a surprised look from you.

“Thanks, you’re not that bad of a singer either,” your boyfriend relays.

“Nah, it’s just singing next to her I sound like Adele or something,” Minhee pokes fun at you like always, clearly amusing Sunghoon because he just laughs and nods along. Honestly, if making some lighthearted jokes about your singing is the thing that makes them friends, you’ll allow it.

The rest of the car journey is now filled with chatter, mostly you and Minhee reminiscing about your upbringing, telling Sunghoon all the stories that embarrass one another while he drives you closer to the city. 

Sunghoon enjoys the way you two interact, it shows him why you were so determined not to hurt Minhee for all those months, putting aside your own happiness for him. Whenever competitions happened, he got to see you and Minhee’s relationship from the sidelines and that made him a little envious.

Ice skating has always been so lonely for him with no time to make friends with fellow skaters because his mum would be pulling him away to go home or keep him on the ice while everyone else went to get a sweet treat after training. His mum made him so lonely that she was the only one he could rely on.

That was until now. Jay and Jake were always there for him but it’s harder for them to understand since they aren’t in the sport directly, whereas you and Minhee both have grown up in the same gruelling surroundings as him. 

Sunghoon’s jealousy grew the more he saw Minhee, the loving sister, the nice coach, even a little less toxic of a mother, granted his opinions of her have wildly changed now that he knows everything. But even with that, Minhee seemed to have it all - he had everything Sunghoon wanted.

He would trade in every trophy for a little stability, for his dad to still be alive, to have someone devoted to him no matter what. That’s why when he saw you all those years ago, he knew you had to be in his life. 

The hatred he had towards your brother stemmed from his mother’s toxic whispers planting little nuggets of rumours and lies to make him hate Minhee, yet, as he looks at both of you now, he knows it wasn’t hatred, it was envy. And when Minhee said he couldn’t ask you out when he was a teenager, it fuelled anger in him for hogging you.

Your love and kindness shouldn’t be confined to your brother.

But like you said the other day, Minhee was scared to lose you and Sunghoon understood that feeling all too well now.

Enclosing your hand in his, Sunghoon threads his fingers with yours, longing for contact after his brain even thought about you not being with him, even for a second. 

You twist your neck to look at Sunghoon, fondly smiling at him. Watching his eyes shake, you know he’s thinking about something that requires your touch; he always did this, no matter the issue big or small, like having you there was enough for him to brush through the knots in his brain and sort it out. 

It felt so amazing to be so needed and loved like this.

Minhee interrupts the silent show of love and points out the windshield, “Looks like they know we’re coming,” he sighs as reporters hover outside the hotel entrance, cameras hanging at their sides while they chat about nothing. 

Sunghoon and Minhee are used to this but today is the day they’ll make a spectacle over them. For the first time in history, the two rivals are arriving together and not just that, they’re both a day late. It’s the perfect opportunity for them to sniff around and fabricate some sort of story, you’re just scared of what.

Pulling up to the front of the hotel, the reports poise their camera to get the money shot, they don’t know they’re in for a goldmine,

“Remember, head down, no comments, and just get in there,” Sunghoon instructs, earning a scoff from your brother.

“Nah, you can do that, I’m the pleasant prince, I pander to my audience,” Minhee smiles proudly.

This is where they differ in so many ways, how their brands set them apart. You have to say, you’re surprised Minhee is keeping the Princess Diana brand your mum created considering he hates it so much. Then again, it has created more opportunities for him regarding public events and ads.

Your mum was a witch but she knew what she was doing.

It does pose the big question: where is Mum? Is she already here? There has been zero communication between both of you since the phone audio incident, it was sickening to look at her for too long, not that she was home a lot of the time anyway. 

However, right now isn’t about her.

“I think Sunghoon might be right, Mini. They’ll hound you about why you and Hoonie are together,” you put forward, hoping he sees your point. But Minhee is Minhee, he loves being in the spotlight.

“It’s all good, Bubs. I got this,” Minhee pats your head, trying to bounce some reassurance into your brain.

Sunghoon is quick to jump in, “No. Minhee, you keep Y/N safe. There’s no way they won’t push and shove for a picture and if one of them touches her I swear to god, Minhee, it’ll be your head on the hotel pole,” his voice is strong and shoulders are wide and sturdy as he speaks.

You suppress the urge to bite your lip as Sunghoon talks, trying not to give away how much his protectiveness turns you on, although, as much as you’re trying to focus your face on staying neutral, your pussy is meowing out for him, the pants you're wearing sticking to you a little.

“Don’t tell me how to protect my sister, okay, I’ve been with her my whole life, you’ve only got a couple of months under your belt,” Minhee retorts, tone annoyed at the accusation that he would do anything other than put your safety first.

If there was one thing that would make them argue, it’s over you. 

“Guys, let's just focus on getting into the lobby, okay? No pandering, and no punching,” you point to them for their retrospective warnings. You seem to be intimidating enough because they fall back from their tense gazes and start to unbuckle their seatbelts.

When you step out, the cameras click rapidly, a few flashes getting in your eyes which Minhee’s hand reaches over to protect you from, one hand wrapped around your shoulder and the other covering your eyes. The shutters are more intense once they see Sunghoon coming around from the other side of the car.

A few gasps and ‘whoas’ can be heard as your boyfriend catches up to you both. As soon as that happens, all hell breaks loose.

Sunghoon! Are you finally changing your ways?

Minhee, did you steer Sunghoon away from his reckless life?

I’d watch out, Minhee, Sunghoon might be after your little sister next.

The last one creates tension between the boys on either side of you, as soon as you’re mentioned they both want to physically leap over and slap the journalist silly. You don’t like the inclination either, the idea that Sunghoon would just use you for his own gratification. 

Did the reporter say it outright like that? No, but all three of you knew that’s what he meant.

Minhee gracefully bows and smiles as he leads you through the reporters, thanking the ones who respected your need for space.

Sunghoon, on the other hand, remains cold, his look as frosty as usual, displaying little tolerance for the paparazzi's intrusive behaviour. Despite his apparent displeasure, he followed his own advice: keep a low profile and push ahead.

Once the chaos subsides, Minhee gently withdraws from your side, placing a comforting hand between your shoulder blades as he guides you further into the foyer. The interior wasn’t anything fancy; adorned with beige walls, plush couches occupied by guests, and a reception desk manned by two staff.

“Are you alright?” Minhee’s concern was palpable as he peered into your eyes, searching for any sign of discomfort or vision loss. The flashes were extra bright today.

You shake your head, offering reassurance, “I’m fine, it wasn’t too bad, certainly could have been worse.”

The hotel staff promptly retrieves your luggage from the car, each of your party expressing gratitude. Minhee also hands them a tip, slipping in a signature wink as he did so. 

Sunghoon huffs beside you, stroking the back of your head, “Fucking ridiculous. They’re acting like they haven’t seen us before,” he states, the patting of your head getting rougher the more he thinks about it, “Heard one of them call us Blades of Glory.”

Minhee lets out a loud laugh, clapping his hands in amusement. The other boy didn’t find anything funny about the situation.

The receptionist checks you all in, a room for you and Minhee, and a room for Sunghoon. He had a double room to himself since his mum wasn’t coming.

One thing Sunghoon refuses to speak about is his relationship with his mum, as far as you’re concerned, they haven’t spoken since the argument a couple of weeks ago. Sometimes when you look at your boyfriend when he is training, you wish he had her there. He assures you it’s for the best but you do mourn it a little, hoping they could patch up their relationship and start anew with him as her son, and her as his mother; no manager roles and athlete, just family love.

Sunghoon isn’t so sympathetic to the situation. Sure, he misses having her around but that’s just because it’s a habit, plus, she was his manager and having to navigate everything on his own was becoming overwhelming, but he’ll manage.

Sadly, he doesn’t even miss her as a mother figure.

Luckily, you’re all on the same floor just 4 doors apart. Once you reach your respective rooms, you kiss Sunghoon, wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him down to you. His hands run up your back, accidentally picking up your jacket and t-shirt in the process, the feeling of his fingertips leaving a warm trail in their absence.

Sunghoon smiles into the kiss, dipping his tongue into your mouth to taste you. He could do this all day, and some days he has, but this time you have your brother impatiently waiting for you both to untangle yourselves.

“Enough, that’s disgusting,” he retches, fake poking a finger down his throat, “Are you guys always like this or is it your attempt at torturing me?” 

Pecking Sunghoon’s lips one more time, you plant your feet back on the ground and face Minhee, “You’re so dramatic. I can kiss my boyfriend whenever I want to,” you sarkily reply.

“Not in front of me you can’t,” he mumbles, face holding an expression of disdain for you and your boyfriend's PDA. He doesn’t protest further, instead unlocking your room and waiting for you to get inside.

Hugging you from the back, Sunghoon leans down, “Come to my room tonight? And the night after, and the night after,” between each request, he kisses your neck, each one lingering a little longer than the last.

The butterflies in your tummy never settle when he’s around and the love in your heart only gets stronger, “I’ll pop in tonight but I promised Minhee I would spend the night before Nationals with him, it’s kind of a thing we have.”

Before every big competition, you and your brother pick a TV show, grab a few face masks and play smash or pass with the cast. You came up with it randomly one night and it stuck ever since, helping him to relax and you to eye up whatever Song Kang drama you manage to persuade him to watch with you. 

Nodding, Sunghoon smiles, spinning you to face him, “Sure, makes sense you guys would have a ritual or whatever,” there’s a tiny hint of sadness in his voice which throws you a little.

“I can ask Minhee to swap it to tonight?” you propose but Sunghoon shakes his head quickly.

“No, no. Do your sibling stuff-”

“You’re welcome to come,” Minhee’s voice interjects behind you. It’s strange how quickly Minhee is accepting Sunghoon into your routines and quirks; first it was the song in the car and now this, “You don’t have to but it would suck for you to be on your own the night before a competition.”

You want to ask what happened to your brother and why a clone has taken over his body, but this is exactly what you wanted, so why fight it?

“I don’t know, seems like your thing, I don’t want to just jump into it,” Sunghoon scratches the back of his hand, a habit he has when he’s nervous. In this instance, it’s cute.

“If I’m inviting you, it’s not you ‘jumping in’ is it? Plus, you get to see your precious girl drool over other men right in front of you,” you nudge your brother's stomach with your elbow before explaining to Sunghoon your plans and that you absolutely do NOT fawn over other men.

Everyone knows it’s a lie.

“Then yeah, that sounds good. Thanks, Minhee,” Sunghoon is genuinely appreciative of the offer. He’s never had anyone to do things like this with, usually opting to just rest up and force himself to sleep early.

Minhee nods, “Great, just don’t be all kissy and touchy, it’s gross.”

A ping hits Minhee’s phone and as he reads the message, his once relaxed face turns tense, “It’s mum. Wants to take us out for dinner after the press conference,” he doesn’t bother replying, locking his mobile and stuffing it back in his jean pocket.

You don’t want to go to dinner with her, or even see her. Truthfully, you hoped she just wouldn’t turn up, “Do we have to go?” 

The pout on your face is exaggerated, your eyes pleading with Minhee to say fuck it and not go, however, he doesn’t give in to you, “I suppose.”

Looking at Sunghoon, they do that stare again, the same one when they came out from their secret conversation at Belmore. They nod to one another, making you even more confused.

Before you can pipe up and ask, Sunghoon gives you one more kiss, “I’ll see you later, baby,” and with that, he retreats to his hotel room. Your boyfriend was probably your best chance at getting information, Minhee is too strong and wouldn’t slip up as easily, so you leave it to rest, hoping that it’s nothing too serious.

One thing is for certain, you know it’s about your mum.

_____

“Can we steal the soap?” Minhee pops his head around the bathroom door, eyes gleaming with mischief.

You and Minhee are resting up after the press conference. All in all, the reporters asked straightforward enough questions, intrigued by Minhee's secret routine and the promised 'surprise' he hinted at. Of course, you've witnessed the routine firsthand and are eagerly anticipating everyone else to experience it with the same amount of awe as you did.

To your surprise, there were just two questions concerning Sunghoon: one asked whether Minhee and Sunghoon were now friends, and the other asked if Minhee was afraid of his rival. Minhee's reaction to both was a solid 'no', however you think the first answer might change.

You sit up on your bed, rolling your eyes in dismissal of your brother’s question, “No, Mini, we can’t steal the soap.” The one thing about Minhee was that he loved a freebee, and you too honestly but you draw the line on bath soaps that you know no one will use and just collect dust in your toilet back home.

“But if I put it in my case and hide these ones, the staff will need to give us replacements,” he says, showing you the tiny bottle of liquid soap as a way to entice you to agree with him.

"Let me guess, then you'll swipe those too?" you retort, crossing your arms.

Minhee nods eagerly. "Of course!" he says it with such conviction, as if you're missing out on a golden opportunity for more soap.

As you get up, you snatch the bottle from his hand and head to return it to its rightful spot. "I'll just buy you some soap, alright? Let's leave these here. If there's any left, we'll take it home." Sometimes, you feel like you take over the role of your mother when you have these talks with Minhee.

"Fine," he grumbles, flopping onto the mattress. "I'll just ask Sunghoon to swipe me some then."

You whip around at the mention of your boyfriend's name, watching as Minhee starts tapping away on his phone. It's like entering the twilight zone.

"You guys text now?" you ask incredulously, eyebrows raised

“Only for important things,” he mumbles, too busy planning a scheme to get Sunghoon on board with his ideas. 

You try to imagine in what world hotel soap is important.

If you could go back in time and tell your younger self that your brother and boyfriend were actually getting along, and not just that, that most of the initiation was from Minhee, you would have cackled in your face. There was no chance in hell of that happening, yet, there is it. All those months of worrying about both of them, the arguments, the fighting, the hatred, all washed away so quickly. 

Sunghoon and Minhee aren’t best friends, they tolerate one another; that’s what they are telling themselves at least. Your brother asked for Sunghoon’s number after the conference to ‘keep an eye on him’ but you knew better than that.

Minhee wanted to be his friend because he knew if he did, you would be happy. Everything in his life, he does for you.

A ping sounds from his phone, and a wicked smile spreads across his face, “Ha! See, your boy is on board!” he shows you the text message from Sunghoon which reads ‘If you get the soap, I’ll grab the shampoo and conditioner. We go halfsies?’

“You’re both ridiculous,” you quip, pushing Minhee’s phone away from you. 

You can’t deny the warm feeling in your chest as you watch Minhee laugh at his phone, the friendship between them both blossoming in front of your very eyes.

A loud knock on the door startles you both, your hand reaching for your chest at the fright. Was it really necessary for someone to bang the door so ferociously at 5pm, especially when the hotel rooms are already small, echoing the vibrations around the walls?

Minhee stands up, making his way to answer rudely to the person on the other side for almost giving him a heart attack; however, when he opens the door, the last person on earth you want to see barges through your door.

“Ugh, can you believe they’ve put me in a room on the other side of the hotel away from you? Took me 10 minutes just to get here,” your mum huffs, blowing her fringe out of her flushed face. She looks like she’s just run the London Marathon, not walked across a lobby and rode the lift.

It’s amazing how one woman can change the atmosphere of the room. The once happy and carefree vibe you and Minhee were basking in has now been sucked out, replaced with a heavy cloud of anguish.

There’s an anxiety creeping up into your chest as you face your mum for the first time since that day. You were unequipped to handle the situation because of her sudden presence, thinking you would at least have a few hours before she requested you for dinner. 

But she’s here, right now, and you have to face this head-on. 

She clasps her hands together and spins to face Minhee and yourself, “I have news,” she exclaims, delighted with whatever information she is about to share.

A quick glance at Minhee and you both share the same sceptical expression. He steps closer to you, hoping that you can find some comfort in his presence, which you do but this is also your conniving mother you’re both faced with, anything can fall past her lips, and that makes this ten times more nerve wracking.

“After Sunghoon pulled that god-awful scheme - so sorry, Y/N,” her words speak of condolences yet her tone is anything but sympathetic, “I have found something else.” The delight on her face makes you feel sick. You know Mrs. Park is the biggest cause for this rivalry, so why is she so intent on bringing Sunghoon down to the lowest pits of hell and back? 

You nor Minhee have told your mum that you know the audio of Sunghoon was AI-generated, or that you and Sunghoon are back to being as in love with each other as ever, in fact, she might have brought you closer together. Her little plan actually got you and Sunghoon to promise to be one hundred percent honest with each other, especially about your feelings for one another. 

Sunghoon meant it when he said he wanted to start fresh, a clean slate, but for him that just meant professing his love to you all over again, determined to make sure you never doubted his true intentions for you ever again. Of course, you did the same, telling him how you would trust him and your relationship before anything else because why on earth do you have any reason not to?

“What are you talking about?” Minhee is the first to speak between you, taking the lead as your bigger brother. He didn’t know what she had up her sleeve but he wouldn’t believe a spoken syllable that came from her mouth; not anymore.

Happily, your mother picks out her phone from her handbag and searches for something. There is a sickening feeling rising in your stomach again, the deja vu washing over you. Minhee senses your unease and rubs your back softly, and as you turn your attention to him, he shakes his head, assuring you that whatever you are going to see will be fabricated.

However, as she passes your brother the phone, you see a video waiting to load and see a familiar-looking lawn.

Oh no.

As Minhee hits play, you see Sunghoon’s fist connect with that boy's face, the same boy that touched you, the night you called him to come get you. The sickness that had stilled before has now reached the tip of your throat, your heart pounding outside your chest only making it boil more.

This is real, this isn’t fake.

The scene in the video is so strange because as you hear your cries for him to stop, you don’t remember it that well. You knew he punched fuck out of the guy but you hadn’t really visually recalled it in your memory, yet, it was like living the feeling all over again. 

Your brother watches the video with the same shock and horror as you do, except, he is more concerned by your shrieks in the background. When was this? He ponders to himself, confused as he continues to see Sunghoon beat the boy down. If he didn’t know any better, he would have thought Sunghoon killed him. Fuck, he genuinely might have as far as Minhee is concerned.

He recognises the boy in the video, having had a few altercations with Yeonjun and his team himself over the years, so he knows that whatever caused this ruthless beating, it was probably something bad.

“W-where did you get this?” you ask tentatively. If your mother has seen it, anyone could have.

With a glint of victory, she answers, “Facebook of all places! I was just scrolling and someone shared it,” she shrugs, leaving you to battle with the information that your boyfriend's attempt to protect you might be the very cause of his downfall. You recall something he said not too long ago,

“Everything wrong in my life seems to be because of your family.”

Sunghoon spoke those words and you knew they were true, yet, you hoped it excluded you, but this just proves you’re just as bad as your mother.

Minhee feels your distress beside him, your body shaking slightly as you continue to watch the video. He doesn’t know what happened or why but he knows you’re traumatised by it. He stops the video, locking the phone abruptly, “Mum, what does this have to do with anything? This is just a video of him punching that guy from the hockey team,” Minhee tries to downplay it, hoping and praying your mum hasn’t already done something drastic with the video.

“I’m taking it to the board, obviously. He can’t get away with causing violence,” your mum speaks. You take the time in the silence that surrounds the room to wonder if she would be so eager to share the video if she knew why Sunghoon was on his knees, beating the guy to a pulp.

Minhee shakes his head definitely, “No, mum, you’re not,” his voice wavers; this is the first time he has stood up to your mum in such a long time. Her claws were usually so deep into your brother that he stood back and took it, but not any more.

“Huh?” your mum asks perplexed, head tilted to the side in curiosity, “Don’t you see, Minhee, this is how we guarantee you the win, they might let him skate but nullify his points. Remember what we have on the line,” she tries to be secretive but you already know what she’s talking about.

“Stop! Just stop trying to interfere with this, with my skating, with the Parks. Just fucking stop.” The sudden rise in Minhee’s voice makes you jump but he is quick to rub your back again, trying to prove his determination to make this right, for all the times he let her puppeteer him into doing her dirt work.

He breathes out, “I told Y/N everything, and I told Sunghoon. We also know that the phone call was fake and that you’re nothing but a pathetic excuse for a mother,” his voice is venomous, the words harshly leaving his mouth. 

Your mum is silent, not even her breath can be heard amidst Minhee’s speech, “You’ve done nothing but hurt us since dad left, constantly blaming me for putting you in debt, never acknowledging your daughter or any of her achievements. I won’t stand here and let you do this anymore.”

“But Minhee-”

“No, you listen to me. I will win on Saturday and when I do, take all the money you get from this shitty bet and fuck off out of our lives, understood?” You stare at the ground with wide eyes, scared to look up and see the anger in Minhee’s face, his voice being scary enough. 

It’s unlike your brother to get this angry, you thought the extent of his rage peaked when he confronted you about your relationship with Sunghoon. But this is much worse, more dangerous. 

Then again, this is also years of being told you owe your career and livelihood to someone who only uses it against you would also take its toll on you.

Sucking in a breath, your mum moves forward, “What are you talking about, baby boy. I’m your mother,” she tries to soften him up but it won’t work. He’s too far gone in his rage.

“No, you’re not. From this point on, you’re no one’s mum. When you get your winnings, take them and never speak to me or Y/N again. I am sick to the back teeth of you putting unnecessary pressure on me, getting me involved in all this mess with Sunghoon. Not to mention how you’ve been treating Y/N the past few months.”

“You can’t kick me out of my own family!” she protests, all acts of sorrow gone in a flash, replaced with fury. 

“I just have. I’m moving out, I’m taking Y/N with me, and this is the last you will see us,” Minhee’s chest is closing in on itself as he finally loses all cool, ready to give your mum everything that’s been waiting for her.

Exhaling, your mum yields, nodding disapprovingly, “You make sure I get my money. You brats deserve nothing considering the life I provided for you both.”

That last sentence confirmed everything you two already knew, it was always about the money. Part of you wonders if it was always about the money, or if that was just something at came along the way. For your peace of mind, you hope it’s the latter. 

Despite her ways, you like to believe she did love you guys at some point, and deep down still does.

The tension in the room is so thick, it’s choking you, causing you to clam up and stay silent. You want to say so much; how she never gave you both anything, that it was your dad who set you both up with your lives, how she took away your happiness and put the relationship with the love of your life in jeopardy. You wanted to shout and scream at her, but it was useless. She won’t listen, her face beat red.

Without uttering another word, she goes to leave the room, snatching her phone back, but Minhee isn’t done, “Oh, and don’t think for a second of showing that video to any of the skating board, or else I’ll turn myself in about Sunghoon’s skate and tell the police exactly what you’ve been up to.”

Both you and your mother exchange fearful glances – you, worried for Minhee's cherished career, and your mother, concerned about her potential loss of status and wealth.

Clicking her tongue in irritation, your mother scoffs, shaking her head. "You wouldn’t dare," she argues, trying to convince herself as much as her son.

"Try me. I have nothing left to lose," he retorts.

"You wouldn’t sacrifice your Olympic dreams," she counters smugly, believing she's won the argument.

"I would sacrifice anything for my sister's happiness, a concept you clearly can't grasp."

Your eyes fill with emotion as Minhee's words sink in. Could he really be prepared to give up his dream just to protect you from your mother? To safeguard you from any potential harm. As you lock eyes with your brother, a deep realisation sweeps over you: absolutely, he would.

Your mother walks out of the room in a disappointed huff, leaving behind a heavy atmosphere packed with unresolved tension. Left alone with Minhee, you both silently battle with the weight of the dramatic event that just took place, processing it all in your own way.

As the echoes of your mother's departure fade, a solemn stillness settles over the room, punctuated only by the sound of your shared breaths. You and Minhee exchange a wordless glance, each grappling with the weight of the confrontation that has unfolded.

“The video…you were there. What the fuck was that about?” Minhee questions, his voice not quite accusatory, but still webbed in anger. Honestly, you should have expected it, the bloody scene would be a cause of concern to anyone and after he just said he vowed to protect you, he wanted to know how this situation arose.

"It was a party, about three or four months ago, I think," you begin, weighing your words carefully as you try to gauge how much to reveal to Minhee. Your brother is already teetering on the edge of adrenaline-fueled rage, and recounting the details of Heosun's unwelcome advances towards you doesn't seem like the best idea in the current tense atmosphere.

Minhee listens attentively, his expression a mix of curiosity and concern. "Go on," he prompts gently, sensing the weight of your hesitation.

Taking a deep breath, you continue, "There was this guy who wouldn't leave me alone, and Sunghoon came to pick me up, and well, you saw what happened." You lower your gaze, feeling a pang of shame at the memory of the chaos that ensued that night.

Now, with your mother's hands all over the incriminating video, you feel the weight of the burden resting heavily on your shoulders. If she were to show anyone that footage, it could spell the end of Sunghoon's career – all because of the consequences of your past decisions.

Despite Sunghoon's reassurances that none of it was your fault, the guilt gnaws at you relentlessly. It's one thing to hear those words, but it's another to truly believe them, especially in the face of such dire consequences.

Minhee can feel your body tremble and it softens his mood, his brotherly instincts taking charge over his anger. He pulls you in for a hug, scratching the back of your head to soothe your thoughts.

“I would say I’d kill that hockey player if I wasn’t convinced Sunghoon’s already taken care of it,” he chuckles at his attempt to lighten the mood, but your overthinking is taking hold of you, scared for what will happen. 

Knowing you your whole life, Minhee knows what your brain is doing right now, “Hey, you aren’t to blame for any of this. Heosun is the one to blame for trying to take advantage of you,” his fingers dig into your scalp as he says the crime out loud. He can’t stand that he wasn’t there for you during your time of need.

However, he is thankful Sunghoon was there.

He leans back to look at you, your eyes glazed over with thoughts. Patting your head, he tries to reason with your mind, “You can’t let mum’s manipulation make you feel responsible for all of this. Sunghoon is a grown man and he made his choices,” he sees his words infiltrating your doubt, like a soldier breaking down the gate to the castle, “He did what anyone would have done.”

You manage a weak smile, grateful for his support even as the guilt continues to run through you, "I know, but... what if I could have handled things differently?" you mumble, the weight of self-blame heavy in your voice.

Minhee shakes his head, his eyes filled with conviction, “Don’t do that, Bubs. You did everything you could, I believe that.”

His words provide a glimmer of consolation amidst the disarray of your thoughts. For a minute, you allow yourself to lean into his calming presence, drawing strength from your brother's support.

You both sit in silence for a while, needing to calm down from your emotions. The whole ordeal has led you away from a pivotal point in his conversation with your mum, something that you wanted to question.

“What if you don’t win?” you pull your head from his chest, looking up at him concerned. If he doesn’t win, there’s no knowing what your mum might do. She would lose far too much money just to let it slide, not to mention the vendetta she probably has against Minhee after his harsh words.

Calmly, he smiles, “I’ve got it covered, don’t worry.” With a kiss on the top of your head, he releases you from his grip. It’s a clear indication that he doesn’t want to push this conversation any further.

But you can’t help but be concerned.

_____

Pressing your key card to the door, you walk in and instantly hear laughter coming from Minhee and Sunghoon. The sound fills you with a sense of relief, worried that your absence from the hotel room to grab some snacks from the shop down the street was enough time for them to start arguing and throwing punches.

You really should have had more faith in them, particularly after the car journey, yet, you still have a horrible feeling that settles inside your chest because it’s all going too perfectly.

Minhee is doubled over, face red from laughter while Sunghoon’s eyes are wide, an incredulous smile smacked across his features. It’s amazing how well they shine together when they don’t have their mothers putting the weight on their shoulders, forcing them into unhealthy competition.

“She padded it so much to impress you, it was hilarious!” you hear Minhee cackle as he speaks as you shut the door behind you. They haven’t noticed your presence, too caught up in the hilarity of their conversation.

Sunghoon lets out a ‘huh’ in realisation, “That’s what that was? I was so confused, I thought she had a reaction to something,” he chuckles, still processing whatever information Minhee was divulging. 

The atmosphere is light, making you smile widely as you walk further into the hotel room, “What are you guys talking about?” 

Turning to face you, both boys burst into another fit of laughter as soon as they see you. It makes you self-conscious, suddenly making you wish you checked yourself in the lift mirror before coming back.

Minhee wipes a tear from his eye before letting you in on their little secret, “I told him how you stuffed your bra with tissue paper trying to impress him,” he points his head to Sunghoon who is currently rolling on the bed in stitches.

The memory flashes in your mind as your face falls. You were young, foolish, and watched 13 going on 30 a little too much; it was a stupid idea. In your defence, a rumour was circulating that Sunghoon’s ideal type was someone like Irene from Red Velvet and she was so perfect you tried to look like her, stuffed bra and all.

You stand traumatised for a minute as you start to vividly recall the way your tissue boobs must have looked to everyone else, “Oh my…god! Can you guys shut up, I was like 12,” you groan hiding your face behind the bags of starburst and skittles.

“You didn’t even need a bra,” Minhee argues back, clearly enjoying the torment his story is providing you, “It’s my brotherly duty to tell your boyfriend all the embarrassing stories I have about you,” he’s smug, lips upturned in a grin.

Forcefully, you toss his sweets at his head, aiming for pain. But Minhee has fast reflexes and dodges it easily. Out of all the stories to tell, why did it have to be that one? Couldn’t it have been the one where you accidentally vomited all over him after he punched you too hard in the chest or that time you wrote a marriage proposal to Niall Horan and even set a date. Anything but the padded bra. 

Sunghoon is still laughing, also reminiscing about that day, however, he isn’t so embarrassed. To be honest, he didn’t pay much attention, and he certainly didn’t know it was to impress him. Knowing it now only gives him more reason to be completely in love with you because even at 12, you wanted to be with him so much you were willing to change for him.

But he never wants you to change. Not ever.

“I honestly can’t believe you thought that would impress me,” he starts to calm down, beaming up at you; however, he is just as guilty for laughing, so you throw the last packet of sweets at his head. He isn’t so used to avoiding flying objects and you hit him straight on his nose, “Okay, ow!” he winces dramatically.

Sometimes you forget Sunghoon is an only child and didn’t have the sibling reflex, “Shit, I’m sorry, Hoon,” you apologise, leaning down to assess the damage but before you get too close, Sunghoon bursts into laughter once again. Slapping his chest you sit next to him, disgruntled. 

Once he has composed himself, he sits up and pulls you into his side, kissing the top of your head, “Honestly, I think it’s kind of cute,” he whispers into your hair, trying to ease your brass neck. You can’t help but smile at his words, glad that he didn’t see you as some pathetic little girl.

You fail to understand that Sunghoon could never perceive you as anything other than perfect. Sure, no one actually is flawless, but you’re pretty close in his eyes; you’re perfect for him.

“Okay, I will stop telling stories if you guys stop acting so mushy,” Minhee relents, opening his packet of Skittles. 

Tilting your head up, you place a soft kiss on Sunghoon’s lips, just to add a little torment to your brother which works because he’s fake gagging on his bed. He’s so dramatic but you’ll take the teasing over him holding a grudge about your relationship.

“I love you,” Sunghoon whispers tenderly, his hand squeezing your soft side, “padded bra and all.”

“Shut up, oh my god,” you push him away playfully, trying to act annoyed but it doesn’t really work, you can’t stay angry at him for longer than a day - your entire relationship journey has proven that; even when you fight, big or small, you always find your way back to one another quickly. 

You don’t mean to think so seriously in such a lighthearted moment, but you can’t help but be thankful for everything that has transpired. There are times you want to start over completely, not lie to your brother, stick up to your mum, skip the whole ‘friends with benefits’ deal and just be with one another completely. But in truth, it’s just made your relationship stronger, both of you releasing that there isn’t a day you both don’t want to be together.

“What’s going on in that head of yours, Sweets?” he asks in a whisper, petting you with love. 

You shake your head, “Nothing, just happy. That’s all.” And it was the truth, you’ve never been more content with anything in your life.

Minhee clears his throat, “Guys, seriously. Glad you’re all in love but can we pick a show now?”

Sunghoon and you shuffle to sit on your bed, getting comfy as Minhee flicks through the TV section on Netflix and when you and your brother both see My Demon in recently added, you both turn to one another, smiling brightly.

Your boyfriend isn’t completely aware of your obsession with Song Kang, but he is about to find out.

_____

As the hours go by, face masks have been done and subsequently making the whole room smell of paella and vanilla, you begin to hear Minhee snoring on the other bed; you’re 5 episodes into My Demon and clearly, he has had enough. Fair enough, it is reaching midnight and he is up extremely early tomorrow, but so is Sunghoon and he is wide awake, not caring about his beauty sleep one bit.

In fact, he has started caressing your thigh a bit too close to a certain area. All night he’s found some way to touch you, either a hug, spooning you, or grazing his fingers over any skin that isn’t covered. Luckily for him, your shorts have ridden up just enough to leave the tops and inners of your thighs exposed.

You push his hand away, “Mini is right there,” you speak lowly, trying to caution him off but Sunghoon couldn’t care less, only tracing up further to your core.

“He’s sleeping,” he argues back as he spares a quick glance to a passed-out Minhee.

Honestly, he was so sick of you melting when Song Kang popped up on the TV, he’s not afraid to admit that he’s jealous. Every time you held in a squeal as the actor smiled or had his top off, he knew he had to get you back to reality, back to the time when all you saw was him. It was childish but he doesn’t bother to worry about that, knowing you like it when he’s a bit possessive and clingy.

You sit up straight to face him, eyes flashing in warning, “He could wake up,” you’re trying to reason with him but his face doesn’t show any sense of understanding of how badly this scenario could end. You’ll do a lot with Sunghoon but fucking him while your brother is in the room is a hard pass. He was insatiable, you always knew it, you just thought he had some decorum when it came to having sex in front of family.

Smirking, Sunghoon rolls his eyes, “With how loud you are, he probably would wake up.” Teasing you isn’t the best approach for getting what he wants, he sees that in your peeved expression, “Fine, how about we go to my hotel room?” he offers as a solution.

With his fingers now dancing along the top of your pussy, you quickly agree, already standing up and pulling him out of the room, making sure the door doesn’t slam shut. 

Once you both enter his room, he wastes no time, kissing you roughly like he has been wanting to do since you changed into your little pyjamas. The heat from his body is a telltale sign that he’s ready to just ravish you as soon as he gets you naked.

And that he does, stripping you of any material you have on and pushing you onto the bed. You’re a vision in front of him, some hickeys and bruises scattered over your body from the last time you had sex, which in Sunghoon’s mind, was far too long ago. 

With hungry eyes, you watch as he sheds his own clothing, revealing his arousal as he strokes himself slowly. Your breath catches in anticipation, craving the feel of him inside you, the throbbing intensity of his desire mirrored in you.

“I’ve got a surprise,” he says suddenly, licking his lips mischievously.

You lean on your elbows, confused by his words, “What kind of surprise?”

Holding a finger up, he  bends down to his suitcase, rummaging through it to find something, only making you more curious, “It’s in here somewhere,” he states more to himself than you, his smile widening as he comes across something, “There you are.”

As he stands back up, you look into his hand and your jaw hits the floor, “Where did you get that?”

Sunghoon stands proud as punch as he twirls the pink rose toy in his right hand, smiling at it happily, “I know a thing or two, Sweets.”

You had your own rose toy at home, literally more prized than the award you won a few months ago. It’s your saviour when you’re too stressed or just craving some release when Sunghoon isn’t readily available. You hadn’t told him about it, so you’re a little shocked he had one.

It also looked much better than yours so you’re going to have to sneak it into your bag before you all leave on Sunday.

Snaking his way to you, he shows you it up close, “Y’know, I used to think these toys were the enemy, taking away something from me,” he pauses, spitting on the top of it, rubbing his saliva into the creases of the rose petals, “But then I thought, it could really be an asset.”

Pressing the power button on, the machine starts to vibrate and suck in air, making you swallow dryly in anticipation. You knew how good it felt when you used it on your own so you can only imagine the power it holds in Sunghoon’s hands. 

Sleeking it to your folds, he wastes no time in pressing it directly on your clit, wiggling it around to make sure he has it on your sweet point. As you gasp and fall flat on the bed, he knows he’s found it.

Sunghoon knows how it works but this is admittedly his first time seeing it in action and by God was he glad he stumbled across it on Twitter. The way you’re already wriggling under its suck is causing his cock to jump straight up in arousal. This is such a nice change for him, to see how your tits move from side to side as your body responds to the sensation on your clit, your mouth falling open so beautifully as whimpers escape. Normally, he’s got a different view, his head buried where the rose toy is right now; he’ll need to find more ways to witness you from this angle.

“Hoon! It’s-” You don’t get to finish your sentence as he loosens the toy which only makes it suck your clit up harder. What you were going to say is that it’s already got you close, the mix of the vibration and everything else proving a bit too much. 

Typically, when you use the toy back home, it’s a 5-minute job, the flower living up to its hype, and now is no exception. But there’s something even more arousing about your boyfriend being in control of it all. If it got a little intense, you could normally pull it away of your own accord, but with Sunghoon in control, you don’t have that luxury; you need to power through the fire that is burning within your nub.

Seeing you close, he licks and bites his bottom lip, thinking of how he can take credit for some of this climax, rather than congratulations only being on the vibrating machine in his hand. He suddenly shoves three of his fingers into his mouth, gathering his spit onto them before brushing them along your hole. 

The rose already has you super wet so it’s easy for him to slide his digits right in, getting to work on finding your spongy spot, the very spot that he always curls into and gets you cumming. 

With the addition of Sunghoon’s fingers, your eyes roll to the back of your head, only the whites of your eyes visible. It’s intense and you’re going to cum so hard over his fingers you might genuinely be spent after this one orgasm.

Like a crash, you cry out his name, chanting a few swear words for punctuation as you cum. Your clit throbs and puffs out as you orgasm, only making the toy have more to suck and pulse onto. It’s like heaven and hell all came at once, not sure if the pleasure outdoes the pain or vice versa. To be fair, the pain isn’t excruciating, you just feel yourself being overstimulated by the rosebud and Sunghoon’s fingers which isn’t a bad thing, just takes some time to adjust.

Sunghoon’s fingers thrust into you fast, each time he drags it out, more of your essence is left on the hotel covers, painting them a darker shade of ivory. He thinks it’s a waste, how the bedsheets get to soak up your juices when it should be his tongue, but he can’t change up the pace now, your body speaking the words you can’t. You’re enjoying this far too much.

“Sunghoon, please!” you whine while your body instinctively tries to retreat from his touch to find relief. 

“You want something, baby?” he asks so innocently, his fingers still thrusting into you with velocity, “Use that pretty mouth of yours.”

He sits on his knees, looking down at you to wait for your response, one he knows will take all your strength to muster. You’re a sight to behold; eyes screwed shut as you try to work through the overstimulation yet your mouth breathing out loud moans. 

“Cock,” is the only word you can say, so drunk on the pleasure that you’re practically dumb in lust, not a thought in your brain other than getting fucked by Sunghoon’s thick cock.

He laughs lightly, shaking his head, “You want my cock?” your boyfriend’s ego is already big but when he gets you into bed, it increases tenfold. He adores that you want him and his body just as much as he wants yours.

“Fuck, yes, Hoonie, please,” you beg, trying to remove both his hands so he’ll just slip into you. 

“You’re so fucking irresistible,” he says huskily, his heart swelling in his chest with pride. 

However, what you want him to do is remove the toy with his fingers, which is clearly a pipe dream since the next thing that happens makes you scream. 

His fingers are replaced with his long cock, but he doesn’t remove the toy from your aching nub, rather, moving it even more directly over you, dancing it along with your body as you try to get away. He’s being so cruel to you, causing this torment of excessive stimulation.

Sunghoon doesn’t see it that way though, he knows when you finally relax and ride through the burning, you’ll be begging him to keep going. Also, with every thrust of his cock into your tight pussy, he gets a jolt of vibration hitting the end of his shaft, giving him a new sense of pleasure.

He hasn’t ever used toys on himself, his hand and you being all he needs, but he might just have to find a few new ways to incorporate some toys into the mix. Perhaps he can convince you to let him use a massager in the future.

Jackhammering into you, he throws his head back, getting lost in the feeling of your walls slamming down on him. Your body is busily thrashing beneath him, only giving the tip of his member new areas to get in amongst. 

“You feel so fucking good, Sweets,” he groans out, only going faster and deeper into you. The toy is an excellent companion, however, it’s limiting his horsepower, wishing he could just bend you in half and drive into you with no mercy. 

Finally, he takes the flower from your clit, and your body instantly relaxes. The cold air whisking over your hot pussy is like breathing in fresh air after being in a stuffy room for too long; it’s heaven. 

It doesn’t take Sunghoon long to find a new purpose for it though, placing it over one of your hardened nipples, “Hold that there for me, baby,” he asks, making sure that your nipple is full inside the hole of the toy. You feel the vibrating all the way up to your jaw, but you oblige, anything for him to fuck you like he always does.

Getting into a new position, he finds a new harsher rhythm, his pointed thrusts snapping into you with the purpose of getting you both off. Sunghoon’s entire body is rocking, the bed squeaking lousy under you both, only drowned out by the clusters of your moans.

Before you know it, you’re cumming again, this time, you think you’re going to squirt all over him, the feeling of release far too intense to be a normal few sprits that will coat his cock. Instead, you roar loudly, like no noise you’ve ever made before, one of those groans that comes straight from your toes and through your chest. You lose grip of the toy and focus on finding anything to anchor onto, scared you might float away with your second climax.

Hearing you cry out erupts a drive in him, his hips moving into you just as you like it. Flinging your legs over his shoulders, he grabs both of your hands in his and piledrives into you, his lips finding yours in a fevered kiss. 

You can tell he’s close too, the heavy rise and fall in his chest a dead giveaway. His cock is leaking cum into you in short bursts, causing his hips to jerk quickly into you, almost like he’s trying to make sure his dick is stuck inside you as deep as it can possibly go. 

“Fuck, fuck,” he chants, a little bit of drool falling from his lips which you gladly lick up before slipping your tongue into his mouth. Sunghoon can’t stop cumming inside you, each time he thinks he’s finished, a few more ropes escape him. 

You can feel both of your cum running down your ass cheeks, the escaping liquid running hot as Sunghoon musters up any energy he has left to hold himself above you, “I think I might have set a new record for how much cum can spill from a man,” he laughs, giving you eskimo kisses.

Reaching over, you turn the rose toy off, leaving the room filled with only your intertwined heavy breaths and laughter. You feel so happy in this moment that you could honestly die happily right now.

Sunghoon climbs off you, pulling you up with him, leaving a gentle his on your forehead before disappearing into the bathroom to find something to clean you both with. You lean over the bed, finding one of his t-shirts sitting in his suitcase and putting it on your spent body. The best part of spending any form of time with Sunghoon is stealing his clothes.

Walking back in with a face cloth, he wipes your pussy and thighs down, his fingers fishing out any cum remnants left. The sudden curling of his finger makes you clench again, “Sorry, Sweets. That was just a lot of cum, need to make sure it’s all out,” he whispers.

“I’ll go pee, that’ll help,” you say back, pushing him away to give you a pathway off the bed to excuse yourself to the toilet.

While you’re in there, he tidies up and puts on some fresh boxers, his cock still softening from the intensity of the fucking it just had. As he picks up the rose toy he smiles, chucking it into his case with a promise to use it at least once more before you leave. 

“Tomorrow is a big day, huh?” your voice travels from the bathroom as you wash your hands. 

“I suppose so,” Sunghoon responds, a little too nonchalant. 

He should be nervous, it’s a massive competition that is broadcast to thousands. Sure, he has done this a few times but surely with the ankle injury, he should be a bit apprehensive about going out there. 

You climb onto the bed and sit on his lap, arms circling his neck, “Why don’t you seem worried about this?” you ask, playing with the ends of his dampened hair.

In response, he shrugs, “I’m the number one skater, why should I be?” This isn’t his normal cocky attitude, this is something else. He knows something that he’s not telling you.

And you’ll be damned if you’re kept in the dark about another thing.

“Tell me the truth, Sunghoon. We promised not to lie to one another anymore.”

“It’s not lying if I just withhold information,” he replies, his lips trying to distract you as they pepper kisses up your neck and behind your ear.

But you push him away before you do get too into it, “That wasn’t the case when I ‘withheld information’ about Minhee breaking your skate,” you retort, hating to bring up the past but when push comes to shove, you’ll do it.

Closing his eyes, he nods in understanding. Sunghoon knows you’re right, you don’t deserve to be in the dark, “I’m throwing the competition tomorrow.”

The room goes quiet as you process his words. At this moment, you feel a sense of burden creeping back onto your body, “What do you mean throwing it? You haven’t lost a competition like this since you turned 16.” He isn’t the Nation’s best skater for nothing, he’s proved time and time again that he’s not to be underestimated.

Suddenly, the conversation with his mum pops back into your head for some reason. Her lack of acknowledgement of Sunghoon’s talents must have been with him for so long - fuck, they might still be with him. Maybe he’s throwing it in defiance?

He sees you think it over and over before he finally interjects, “I’ll still place top 3, Sweets. I’m just making sure he comes first, that’s all.”

“Why would you do that? You know if he finds out, he’ll be livid.” You can’t imagine Minhee ever wishing Sunghoon to yield it so easily, your brother worked too hard to perfect his routine to win by some giveaway.

“Okay,” he breathes out, knowing this conversation is about to get a little difficult, “We both decided it, actually. That day we went into the coach's office? Yeah, that’s what he wanted to talk to me about.”

“You want me to what?” Sunghoon asks, accompanied by a scoff. 

Minhee bites his tongue from making any rash comment, needing the other skater on his side for his plan to work, “I want you to throw Nationals.” 

Letting a venomous laugh out, Sunghoon shakes his head in disbelief, “You’re seriously asking me to purposefully lose at Nationals after everything you’ve done to me? To Y/N? You can forget it.”

Storming off, Sunghoon can barely reach the door before Minhee swings him back around to face him, a fire in his eyes that Sunghoon has never seen before, “Look, this isn’t for me. It’s for Y/N.” 

“Yeah of cours-”

“Let me fucking finish, Park,” Minhee snaps, his voice raised and arm gripping Sunghoon a little rougher, “Y/N told you about our mum, how she has stakes on me winning?” he waits to make sure you did actually have such a conversation with your boyfriend, to which Sunghoon nods, waiting for your brother to continue, “If I win, she gets a boat load of money, it’s all illegal and there are rules and stakes that I don’t even know the full detail of but either way, she’s playing it dirty with some big bosses. She took money from some guys to put the bets on, y’know?”

Minhee’s explanation isn’t convincing his counterpart, wondering where you come into this, “I don’t hear Y/N’s name in this. If your mum has a gambling addiction, that’s between her and the guys she’s fucking over, not my girl.” 

“The bets are in Y/N’s name.”

“What?” Sunghoon yanks his arm from his grasp, stepping back a little, “You mean she’s tied up in all of this?”

Nodding, Minhee feels the familiar boil of rage within him. He still can’t fully comprehend how his mother could do this to you, she is meant to look after you, not cause you harm, “I know, it’s fucked. If mum loses these bets, guess who everyone is going to be gunning for?”

Sunghoon’s heart quickens, the thought of you being in danger is making him feel sick and the words hang heavily in the air between the two people who love you the most. Your entanglement within this mess of a web was the last thing Sunghoon thought Minhee would say.

“So if you win, and she gets the money…”

“Then they get their cut. Happy days, my sister is no longer in danger,” Minhee rubs his temples, trying to give his brain a moment to gather itself before he divulges the rest, “I’m telling you this because I know you love her and as I said, you’d be doing this for her.” 

There is so much to think about that Sunghoon’s brain is sparking out a little, but one thing is for certain, he is going to do everything in his power to protect you, “Fine. I’ll lose. But how do we know your mum won’t do something else?”

“I don’t,” Minhee confesses truthfully. He has no idea if she’ll even give the men their cut once he wins, “I’m gonna tell her that I know about her gambling and the illegality of it all, hope that scares her enough to not try and fuck any of us over, y’know?”

“That’s all you’re going to do? The love of my life is out there with a target on her back and you’re just going with a presumption that she’ll back off by a threat?” There is steam coming from Sunghoon’s head and his fists are balled up in rage. This isn’t something to be taken lightly.

Minhee holds in his frustration, knowing Sunghoon is only looking out for you, but the lack of faith in him is making it increasingly difficult to keep his cool, “She might be your girlfriend, but she’s my sister, alright. I have been doing everything in my willpower to keep her safe since we were little…Listen, I know my mum, she’s scared and I can see it. She’s way deeper into this than she knows how to deal with, she wants that money and to get away from those gambling sharks, yeah? My mum won’t do anything like this again, I feel it.”

It’s a hunch, a loose, untrusted huch, but it’s all he’s got. He just wants to protect you right here and now. If your mum stoops low enough to bring you back into a mess like this, he’ll sort it when the time comes.

Seeing Minhee’s resolve, the raven-haired boy retracts, calming down. He knows Minhee is trying his best, and if he can keep you out of immediate danger by coming in second at a competition, he will gladly do it.

You sit still, processing the bomb that has just been dropped on you. The gambles being in your name is something you had no idea about, hence why they probably didn’t tell you about this grand plan. 

What does someone even do in this situation? 

Sunghoon rubs your arm reassuringly, trying to get you to speak or even make a noise of acknowledgement. He can’t imagine how difficult it must be to hear this for the first time but he knew that he couldn’t tell you; if he let you in on Minhee and his secret, you would have tried to solve the problem yourself, to help everyone else in the situation as best you can, and he couldn’t watch you do that, not when none of this was your fault.

“Don’t throw it,” you say firmly. 

Sunghoon freezes, his hand stilling on your arm as he looks at you, surprise evident in his eyes. He hadn't expected those to be the first words to break the heavy silence that enveloped the room, “What the fuck are you talking about? Are you crazy?” 

Perhaps you are, but you can’t watch anyone sacrifice their livelihood, especially a chance of gold at Nationals, just for you. It’s selfish, on both your part and your mother's. No, you didn’t ask to be put in this situation, but there was something you could do now.

Unfortunately, this is what Sunghoon was afraid of.

“You saw Minhee’s skate, he’s phenomenal. I want him to win this properly,” you confess quietly, still struggling with the information relayed to you only minutes ago.

“What about your mum? Sweets, this is a full-proof plan to get you both away from your mum, to let you both live without her mess,” his left hand cradles your cheek as he moves closer to you, as if hearing the solution from a closer distance would suddenly help change your mind.

It won’t, you’re determined to have this conversation end your way the only option forward is, “Please, Hoonie. If he loses, we will deal with it…but I believe in Mini so much, especially after seeing the rehearsal a few weeks ago. I want him to know he can win this on his own merit.” Your eyes search for any ounce of understanding.

Sunghoon's brow furrows in frustration, his mind racing with the weight of the decision before you both. He wants nothing more than to protect you, to shield you from harm, but he also knows that he doesn’t want to upset you and go against your wishes.

Taking a deep breath, he presses a tender kiss to your forehead, his embrace offering silent reassurance and support. "Okay," he says finally, his voice tinged with resignation. "We'll do it your way. I won’t throw the competition but ONLY if he does well. He’s on before me on the card so I’ll make the call then,” he can barely believe he’s agreeing to this.

A mixture of relief and fear wash over you. You understand the gravity of his concession, knowing that it's not an easy decision for him to make. It fills you with gratitude that he actually listened to you.

"Thank you, Hoonie," you whisper, your voice barely above a breath as you lean into his embrace, seeking solace in his comforting presence. "I promise, we'll figure this out together. And Minhee... he'll do amazing, I just know it.”

The belief you have in your brother is something Sunghoon only wished for growing up, seeing how determined you are to make sure Minhee knows he’s talented enough to win and solve this mess by just being good at what he does makes your boyfriend a little envious. He knows why Minhee is so protective of you, but now seeing how you protect and only do the right thing for one another, putting your sibling before anything else, it’s admirable.

“What time is he on?” you ask, twiddling with the hem of your shirt.

“2:35pm. I’m on at 3:45pm so I’ll see the scores and whatever in plenty of time to determine what to do.” There is a new sense of life in Sunghoon, certain that no matter what happens tomorrow, he’s going to make sure you and Minhee walk out happily, with no worries perched on your shoulders.

taglist (closed!!): @heelee-01 @zerasari @beomgyusonlywife @iwaplant @monstanctiny21 @chiiiiiiiiis @minniejenseo @run2gyuz @jngwnlvs @haelahoops @capri-cuntz @nctislifue @jaehoonii @weyukinluv @skzenhalove @enhypenlovre @cherriruto @bambangan @who-tf-soddhi @nxzz-skz @nshmrarki @hotsforikeu @enhastolemyheart @erehkinnie30 @judeduartewannabe @neosexual @fakeuwus @positivelyinlovewithjungwon @tobiosbbyghorl @kimsunoops

[host-club-hq]

heyyy !!! can i submit a request ? thanks !!! feel free to reject/deny this if u want to tho !!!

reader who’s from a middle to upper middle range family and they’re like in their 20’s or so and they just seem to have a lot of time and money on their hands but their family doesn’t know what they exactly do in terms of work so they confront her and ask if they’re doing drugs or nsfw work and turns out they have a bf (kyoya) who’s just really rich

thanks !!! 🫶

➼ pairing: kyoya ootori x fem!reader (slice of life!AU)

➼ summary: you come from a middle class family and all of a sudden you’ve been spending considerably large amounts of money… and your family is wondering what exactly it is you do for a living nowadays? are you in with the wrong sort of people?

➼ word count: 2.7k

➼ what to expect: "It's worth nothing if you aren't wearing it."

➼ warnings: none :) unless an excessive amount of fluff causes you to have severe heart issues (me too babe)

➼ i literally saw this request and was like oh my god i have to write it, then since i wasn't at my laptop, proceeded to write the fic in my beta reader's dms. thank u so much for this request it actually helped me get out of a writing rut :)

You never thought you would be sitting in your apartment for a living.

Well, technically, that's not what you do for a living, but it might as well be.

You work from home, with extremely short hours and a paycheck that's nothing to write home about. You could do your job from an office, but why bother? Most of the 8 hours you would work, you'd be sitting at your desk with nothing to do, your brain going numb from lack of stimulation.

Although you don't enjoy having virtual meetings with strangers, that's basically your entire job — you are a virtual history tutor, after all.

You never wanted to be a teacher but you still wanted to pass your extensive knowledge on to other generations, so you figured either being a substitute teacher or a tutor would suffice. And when the school you applied to mentioned an online tutor position, you snatched it up and ran with it.

Of course, you had a job before this. And it definitely wasn't your dream job. Before your passion for teaching arose, you took one of the first jobs you found available that called you for an interview. The secretary of a prestigious CEO of... a company that you're not quite sure what they did (you called it your Devil Wears Prada moment). You vaguely remember copying data and putting things in color-coded folders, but the position was brutal. You were set with impossible tasks and goals that your immediate superiors struggled to reach (truly, your Devil Wears Prada moment). You contemplated swerving your car into oncoming traffic every day on your way to work at 6:30 in the morning (obviously you didn't, too many innocent lives would have been put in danger).

But, at least, that's where you met-

Knock, knock, knock-knock-knock... knock, knock

Your ears immediately perk up and you turn your head toward the front door from your position on the sofa in the living room. There's only one soul alive that would knock on your door in that fashion.

You shut your laptop rather hastily and leap up to answer the door, sliding through the kitchen and the entry foyer in your socks to get there. Honestly, the distance from the front door to your workspace could have been considered a 5k marathon (no it's not, you're just out of shape).

You don't even have to glance at the peephole before you open the door to reveal-

"y/n! Oh, my dear, how are you?" You're immediately pulled into a crushing embrace and a comforting scent surrounds you.

"Mom?" You gawk, slowly encircling your arms around her to return the hug.

"I know I probably should have called but when I thought about doing it, I was already at your door. And I have to say, this is quite the upgrade!" Your mother wanders in without an invite, in awe of the clean, neat appearance of your apartment.

Well, penthouse. You take up the entire 58th floor at the top of your building. The elevator requires a reading of your house key-card to even press the button. It opens up right in front of your door.

... how did she get up here?

"How on earth did you get up here?" You voice your thoughts as her mother discards her walking shoes beside your own, slipping on a pair of guest slippers.

"I told the man in the lobby I was your mother and you would not believe the convincing I had to do to get him to let me up. He even needed my ID!"

"Well, yeah, because you don't live here-"

"Would you look at this place! My god, y/n, how do you keep it so clean? Not a speck of dust!" Your mother, true to her nature, swipes a finger across a nearby decorative table and it comes up absolutely spotless.

"Thanks, I mean it's not-"

"You even have a foyer! And a kitchen that doesn't double as the dining room!" Your mother wanders into the next room faster than you can process her presence.

"Mom, what are-" You try to best to follow her, slipping and sliding over the wooden floors in your fluffy socks.

"Really, y/n, I never pegged you to like modern furniture! I thought you liked a little character in your possessions. But, I must say, it's much better than I imagined your living situation to be." She strolls into the living room next, gawking at the mere size.

"Hey, what's that supposed to mean?" You frown, relieved that she seems to have finally picked a room to settle in. She sets her enormous bag on the sofa.

"What are you even doing here? Not that I don't appreciate the surprise visit..." You save quickly, smiling sheepishly at the glare she briefly sends your way.

"I wanted to see you of course. But..." She digs through her purse and pulls out a Macbook. "I came for an explanation for this." She all but waves it around. You wince.

"Careful. Why do you need an explanation for that? You mentioned you needed a better laptop and your birthday was coming up so I thought-"

"Exactly! It's perfect, it's everything I could have ever dreamed of in a laptop!" Your mother scolds. You tilt your head.

"... is that a problem?" You blink owlishly.

"First it was the watch for your father's birthday, then the mountain of stuffed animals for your little sister for Christmas, and now this!" Your mother sighs, crossing her arms after setting the Macbook on the coffee table.

"Wha- I'm sorry, I think I'm missing what the fuss is about. I tell you guys to send me your lists and you never do, so I'm sorry if it's not what you wanted-"

"It is what we wanted, that's why I'm here!" She retaliates.

"Okay, Mom, you're going to have to calm down and tell me what the problem is because I am clearly missing something here." You lead her to the coffee table, where you both lower yourselves to the floor, cross your legs, and sit beneath it.

She takes a deep, calming breath, "I'm just concerned is all. Your last job was enough for you to live and have a fair amount of money to spare, but you don't even work there anymore." Your mother places both hands on the table, avoiding your eye.

"You're right, I don't work for them anymore." You quirk a brow, curious as to where this is going.

"And now you're an online tutor who barely works more than a few hours per day, sometimes a week! So... I'm just curious..." She sighs, shaking her head.

"How are you getting the money for all of this? This is a multimillion dollar penthouse, you sent your father a 7,000 dollar watch, and you sent me a laptop worth at least a few thousand dollars." Your mother finally meets your eyes.

Before you can respond, she reaches across the table and grabs you by the shoulders.

"Just tell me the truth. Are you selling drugs? Are you stripping? Are you doing drugs? Because whatever it is, I'm sure I can talk my way into gaining your innocence in a courtroom but you have to come clean-"

"Mom! I'm not doing anything illegal!" You exclaim adamantly, shrugging her grip off your shoulders.

"Are you in credit card debt? Your father warned you about things like this, and I always thought you were a modest spender but-"

"Mom, listen to me, okay? I'm not in debt. I'm not stripping. I'm not doing drugs." You take both of her hands in yours and speak calmly. She nods, still looking a little confused.

"Then how are you getting all of the money for this?" She asks.

You chew your lip, "Well... it's not really my money-"

Just as you begin your explanation, the front door opens and shuts loudly, the sound of dress shoes click loudly against the wooden floors.

"Honey, there's someone in your house." Your mom steadies herself, reaching for her purse like she's got some sort of weapon.

"Mom? Mom!" You hiss quietly as she starts to get up.

"I'm home, darling! Are you in the living room?"

Your mother blinks at the voice calling from the foyer.

"Yeah, I'm in here!" You reply in a trembling voice, your brain trying to decide whether or not you should greet your boyfriend or calm your mother first.

Before either of you can open your mouths again, the body attached to the voice calling for you appears in the doorway.

Kyoya sheds his blazer, leaving him clad in his button up shirt tucked into his dress pants as he tosses it onto the coat rack beside him.

"I was- oh." Kyoya finally looks up, meeting your eyes first, then the worried, albeit confused, eyes of your mother.

"I'm sorry, I hope I wasn't interrupting anything." Kyoya bows politely at the presence of someone unfamiliar to him.

Your mother's instincts cause her to return the bow where she's sitting, still completely lost.

"You're not, darling." You get up from your place at the table to greet him.

Kyoya welcomes you eagerly, pressing a chaste kiss to your lips, bewildering your mother further, before making eye contact with her again.

"This must be your mother. It's a pleasure to meet you, Mrs. l/n. I've heard so much about you." Kyoya bows once more, a bit more deeply.

Your mother blinks, eyes glancing between you and Kyoya with haste.

"Mom, this is Kyoya Ootori... my boyfriend." You allow Kyoya to place a respectful arm around your back.

"Your what?" She blurts. You grimace. You knew you'd have to tell her sooner or later, but most of your high school boyfriends were intimidated by her and her doting nature.

And the fact that your father threatened to end their lives if they ever laid a finger on you.

"My boyfriend..." You sigh, almost like a scolded child.

"Ah, that reminds me. A flower for you, my dear." Kyoya sets down the shopping bag he was holding and his briefcase, handing you a rose.

"Oh, it's so pretty. Thank you." You'd rather Kyoya brought you individual flowers than an expensive bouquet since you're god-awful at keeping them alive. You peck his cheek.

"Oh, and before I forget. I saw this in a store window on my way home and I couldn't help but imagine how well it would paired with that black dress you know I like so much. I thought you could wear it to dinner." Kyoya pulls out a large, black velvet box from the shopping bag and turns toward you.

"Kyoya, we've talked about this-"

"I know. You don't like when I spend money on you but I just couldn't help myself." He opens the box to reveal a necklace glittering with diamonds, more than you can count. It glimmers in the light and you're afraid to even touch it, let alone wear it.

"Oh, my god, this must have cost a fortune." Your jaw goes slack. Your mother nosily peers over your shoulder and gasps loudly.

"It's worth nothing if you aren't wearing it." Kyoya smiles. A pretty pink hue dusts your cheeks at the compliment as your heart flutters.

"Thank you, my love. It's breathtaking." You gently take the box from him so he can gather his own things.

"Would your mother like to join us for dinner? I'm sure they won't mind moving us to a different table." Kyoya inquires innocently.

Your mother in question is still completely baffled by all of this.

"So... so you're dating my daughter? And... you're rich?" Your mother blurts.

"Mom!" You scold.

Kyoya chuckles, "I'm under the impression you hadn't been told about me. My apologies."

"Kyoya!" You scold him next.

"And... and this is... your house?" Your mother gestures to your surroundings.

"Yes, ma'am." Kyoya nods affirmatively.

"I moved in about... I want to say two months ago or so." You shrug. Kyoya nods.

"And how long have you been dating exactly?" She quirks a brow.

You nearly cringe at your answer, "... a year."

"A YEAR?" Your mother all but shrieks, earning a wince from you.

"Mom, it's not a big deal-" You reach for her to calm her down.

"It is a big deal! You've been seeing this gorgeous man with a mansion behind my back!" She gestures wildly to Kyoya, who blinks at her, brows raised at her reaction.

"Not behind your back! You never asked!" You insist.

"That's because you swore off men in high school after that boy stood you up-"

"WE don't have to talk about that." You want to shove your hands over her mouth. Kyoya quirks a brow quietly from behind you.

You sigh, "I met him while I was a secretary. He owns a portion of his father's company and was scheduled to meet with my boss."

That's the only thing you're thankful to that secretary position for. Your boss had buzzed for you to prepare two cups of tea for him and his guest. Once you brought them their tea, your attention was stolen by the man sitting across from your superior. Luckily, you didn't drop any of the china on your way in once you caught sight of him. After Kyoya was finished meeting with your boss, he struck up a light conversation with you that had your heart soaring. Simply basking in his beauty and powerful nature made you swoon.

Kyoya returned to your boss's office far more often than he ever needed to after his first interaction with you. He appeared at your desk, asking for your boss when these types of things could have definitely been handled over the phone. At first he didn't understand why he did it, but he soon realized his feelings for you when he caught himself asking you to dinner on his way out one day.

"I still don't understand why you didn't tell me you were dating this man. Let alone living with him." Your mother finally calms down enough to have your heart aching with guilt.

"I meant to, Mom, but I just... I guess I was afraid of how you'd react." You admit finally, fidgeting with your fingers.

"Kyoya helps me pay for you gifts because I want the best for you. But honestly, he can get you much nicer things than I pick out... I'm pretty sure he can buy you a house." You mutter your last sentence.

Your mother laughs, "If my daughter likes him, I like him. Come here, Kyoya." She strides forward and pulls Kyoya down for a tight embrace.

Kyoya nearly chokes, clearly rendered speechless by her sudden show of affection. He manages to reciprocate despite his shock.

"Thank you. I can assure you, I only want the best for your daughter. I'm sorry we haven't met sooner." Kyoya grins.

He has contemplated reaching out to your mother by himself despite your adamant disapproval. But he hated the idea of going behind your back to do anything at all, so he kept to himself.

"It's alright, dear. I'd love to get to know you better. Are you sure I wouldn't be a bother at dinner?" Your mother returns to the woman you know and love.

"Not at all." You shake your head, a wide grin spreading to your lips.

"I'll call the the driver, tell him to bring around the SUV rather than the Benz." Kyoya pulls out his cellphone.

"A driver?" Your mother gasps, placing a hand over her chest and glancing to you for confirmation. You nod, biting your lip eagerly.

Once Kyoya's sent the short message, your mother slots herself beside him and curls her arm around his.

"So, Kyoya, you own your father's company?" The two of them walk in the direction of your shared bedroom, side by side. You watch as they leave you standing in the living room.

"Just a portion of it, yes. We're in the medical business, you see, managing hospitals and..." Kyoya's voice fades off into the house. He doesn't seem to mind your mother's sudden attention in the slightest, even switching his jacket to his other arm to accommodate her like the gentleman he is.

You purse your lips, glancing down once more to the velvet box in your hands and you're reminded that you need to start getting ready for dinner. You follow them, rolling your eyes as you hear your mother start to ask about just how well Kyoya's been treating you.

This is going to be the longest dinner of your life.

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have any questions? talk to my characters!🙏🏻

Adieu~ 🌹🌹🌹

[meowufff]

Okay!

First of all: I am very sorry it took so long to finish this! It had been a lot more data than last time, so I had some trouble to visualize and edit it this time around. I really hope I made it work somehow so enjoy this lil conclusion thingy and feel free to add or mention anything that comes to your mind~

In this survey I have asked a total of 188 people multiple questions surrounding sleep habits, their consume of caffein and its influence on them and got an answer from 104 of these.

So let’s beginning with the average hours per sleep these people had.

Well, as we saw in the last survey I did, most people I have asked didn’t had a good sleep schedule. The average hours that a rottmnt tumblr artist out of 104 get is 6,48 hours per night.

I tried my best to categorize the hours into 1-3; 4-6; 6-7; 7-9; 10+ h/night. The most common one being 4-6 h/night and 7-9 h/night which is a little surprising remembering that only 18% of people of my last survey actually have a “good”-sleep schedule in hindsight that the recommended amount of sleep is 7-9 hours/night.

These numbers could be explained that for a lot of people the amount of hours they sleep depends on factors like if they´re having a stressful time at the moment or how much they did over the day so the numbers itself varied often from 3-8 hours. Of course, no one sleeps the exact amount of hours every single time so the range a lot people mentioned had been partly very big.

Now that we know how many hours most artist sleep per night, we should take a look at how many hours they consider enough to technically get through the day which is 4,94 hours.

Because the answered had been very specific for most parts I decided to categorize them into full 1 till 9+ hours and steps in between as 1-2; 2-3; 3-4; etc. hours, the most common ones being 4 and 5 hours. Which is kind of close to the average amount they get.

So some could take the wild guess that a lot of people are surviving on their minimum hours per night as daily basis.

For my next question I could have been more specific with what I meant. My thought behind that question had been, how many hours are a lot in consideration to a not-so-great sleep schedule. For example, a person who usually gets 5-6 hours of sleep could consider getting 7 or 8 hours as a lot.

Some didn’t answer that part which is understandable as the meaning isn’t that clear. I still got a lot of interesting answers! For example, the average “a lot of hours of sleep” value is 9,59 hours.

Now let’s get to the caffein!

Surprisingly to me, considering the small average hour per night, 53,85% do not consume any caffein over the day and only 39,42% have it included into their daily routine. The small amount of 6,73% of people use it only as last resort.

On the other hand, after reading all the effects caffein has on most of the people I asked I am not as surprised they´re not consuming it regularly.

Talking about the different effects of caffein on people please look at the following two pictures where I tried my best to visualize the different answers as good as possible.

In the first one you can see the descriptions how the people are feeling before consuming any caffein. The bigger the word the more often it had been mentioned.

In the second you will see the way they feel after consuming any kind of caffein.

It is pretty prominent that a majority doesn’t feel any different afterwords which could be an explanation why the amount of people drinking caffein is that “small”. But even if the second biggest word is the usual effect caffein has the one directly after that are words like tired, sluggish, jittery which are most definitely affects no one likes to experience.

A lot of the described feelings could be lined to stuff like ADHD or insomnia or anything else where caffein can show a paradox or even negative effect on someone. I have read that a lot of people still like to consume drinks with caffein in it but not because of the effect but more for the taste.

As someone who needs to drink either very strong coffee or energy to actually feel any effect of the caffein, I found it very interesting to see that people mentioned to enjoy drinking tea as little energy boost.

For me tea, or coke or any other caffeinated soda, has such a little amount of caffein in it that I, for myself, didn’t even had it categorized as something that could be used as little caffein booster.

It hadn’t been a question, but I still noted down the kind of drinks people choose to drink as daily caffein source, which actually shows that coffee is the usual to go drink but again, surprisingly lot told me that they don’t drink tea (or anything else) as daily basis but more randomly whenever they feel like it.

In the end, what can we conclude out of all this messy information?

So, the usual hours you should sleep is put on 7-8 hours per night.

The average hours out of 104 artists in the rottmnt tumblr bubble is 6,48 hours per night with a minimum needed of 4,94 hours to get through the day. The maximum hours got in a night lay by 9,6 hours.

53,85% of these 104 go through their every day without the help of any caffein.

39,42% have caffein included into their daily routine.

6, 73% see caffein only as their last resort and try to avoid consuming any for as long as possible.

Thank you, a lot, for reading so far and thousand thanks to all the people participating in this lil survey again! I had a lot of fun doing this and I hope this little conclusion here is entertaining enough to make it worth having to answer my “few” questions!

If you want to share your own opinion or point out any mistakes I may have made, please feel free to do so~

I wish everyone a happy day and or good night!

If you are interested into my first survey, pls click here :3 Special Thanks to all of the participants!!! @heckitall @triona-tribblescore @butterfilledpockets @crownedcrowrow @pezhead @wraenata @zinovi768 @cokowiii @idiot-mushroom @less-depresso-more-espresso @mightyanxiety @sweeneydino @2aceofspades @mobiitez @onejellyfishplease @titenoute @arrora-art @indieyuugure @tblsomedoodles @theelvishfiddler @tasenwiththerobots @iredoodles @sushixstar @turrondeluxe @signanothername @adorabledrugl0rd @mr-doodles @theastroghost @djpachipikachu @hellishgayliath @frosteaart @godsfaultycreations @koolaidashley @soda-kazoo @tapakah0 @v-albion @sad-leon @angelpuns @sharkfinn @venelona-turtle-den @goatedgreen @graphitehybrid @laseralligator @peach-moths @vangh17a @debb987 @lieutenantbiscute @sunnyyyteaaa @0ransje @manga-toons

[memberment]

Genesis

Goooooooooodmorning.

Idk why I'm making a post yet I really don't feel like writing. ANYWAYS. Updates may come today. They also may not. Idk yet.

6:51 Hello from beyond. A new playlist is being born as I write through chapter 30. Also, I think I finished my chapter 7 art. It's Craig carrying Tweek home after they first met. They were so cute 😭 Idk what the message is gonna be in that one yet though. I know what the response is, but not the og message. And I am realizing as I type that that I was not supposed to reveal that but fuck it we ball there's like six people on here it's okay.

ANYWAYS. IF I CAN FINISH 30 AND ACTUALLY WRITE 27 (due to a restructure, I skipped over it entirely and have to go back and rewrite it.) AND MAYBE, JUST MAYBE, CIRCLE BACK AND FINISH 22, I will be soooooooo happy. I got like 12 hours til sleep time and I prob will not be working on chapter 8 art. Because I do NOT wanna draw Kenny and Clyde just yet. (I'm afraid. I wanna put them in their magical girl uniforms and ACTUALLY SHOW THEIR UNIFORMS bc they do change eventually and I feel like the contrast goes INSANE.)

9:19: Hello friends totally didn't get distracted<3 ANYWAYS. Back to this hell chapter of everyone having a bad time.

1:38: I got so distracted Desolation was late and I didn't write anything. I have literally written under 1k today which is fucking insane to me. I write more when I'm "on breaks"

But I have come here to yap about something. While I'm "on break" I think I'm going to rework The End Is Near AND New Beginnings. Meaning they might get deleted for a bit. Because I kinda wanna redo them both because let's be so real here. My writing was not shit, but I feel like they are both gems that need a bit of love. I don't know if I'm gonna commit to the bit but I really fucking might LMFAOO.

But I do really want to redo New Beginnings because that was the whole reason I started writing fanfic and people are still looking at it and I feel like it pales in comparison to what I write now.

And reworking those two will be much more lax while I suffer through 15 weeks of physics hell. SOOO.

Whatever. Gonna try and get through chapter 30. and maybe 27 BECAUSE I STILL HAVE TO WRITE IT WHAT THE FUCK‼️‼️

I lied I'm yapping for all of five more seconds because I need to complain and refuse to get a diary.

I am actually really sad that I'm not gonna have every day posts anymore. Like I am trying so hard to cope with it but y'all.

Desolation has 4 chapters left. Tweek's Guide has 7 chapters left. Eclipse has 4 (technically five but epilogue's short so it's gonna get posted same day) chapters left. Craig's Guide has like 10 chapters left. Dandelion has 8 (technically 9) chapters left. and Leap year has 8 chapters left. (Genesis doesn't count because that just started. ) LIKE HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO COPE. I HAVE FOUR FICS AND THERE ARE SEVEN DAYS OF THE WEEK. AND I CAN'T POST MY ONE REALLY FUNNY TRASHFIRE FIC BC PART OF IT IS SO GOOD I KINDA WANNA SPLIT THE CONCEPTS UP AND I REFUSE TO FINISH IT TIL I GET MY SHIT TOGETHER. Like y'all do not understand daily posts are like embedded in my brain. I love it. HOW DO I FIX THIS WITHOUT ACTIVELY WRITING. I hate it here. Oh also when Eclipse or Desolation get finished Dandelion is moving to Monday/Wednesdays because Freedom Pal Fridays are being a thing. Because I have. So. Many. Goddamn. Freedom. Pals. Fics. Sitting. There. ScREAMING. For. Me. To. Write. So An Answers getting thrown on Fridays. But how do I space this out? (I am so sorry for this unnecessary lengthiness I am officially just gaming this out as I type because my brother is sleeping and I can't call him to yap.) Like- I wanted to do Sunday for Genesis but I feel like Sundays kinda suck as post days, lowk. So what then? Monday Wednesday Friday Saturday???? I can't just do Tuesday and not Thursday. AH. I hate it here. I need more time and we are constantly running out of time.

Life is fleeting, and I simply hate it.

2:39: JUST HIT 90K. This has been cut down to 38 chapters. I have 1k ish left of 30. 27 is still undone. 22 needs its angel fight. So approximately 29k-36k ish left. I'm losing my mind. I can't believe I am speedballing through this like that. WHICH MEANS IF GOD SHINES DOWN UPON ME I CAN FINISH BOUND IN PEACE.

Then what?

Do I start my break early?

I don't wanna do that? What the fuck would I even work on then though??????

LMFAO about to pray for clarity.

3:44: Creative freedom is fucking crazy because Wendy's having a heart to heart with Brimmy right now.

4:14: I keep cutting chapters and part of me is starting to worry that this is too short but in the same breath like I'm combining them because drawing them out feels kinda lazy and rude. But we are now down to 36/37 chapters. I can't be too mad about it. But part two might be like, way longer. Also we're at 92.3k. SO I DID SOMETHING TODAY.

I lowk wanna work on bound for a bit but that means committing myself to an entire chapter because I can't just write part of a chapter and go back to it for that one and kinda I wanna reread the whole thing before I work on it more. UGH.

I might. I honestly fucking love Bound, like that was my baby when I was concepting it. I literally wrote so much of it while I was on vacation. Like stats on that one suck bc it's so niche but I do not even care. One of my favorite fics that I've written, easy. I'm not even a K2 girlie. I just wanted to write one because it was gonna annoy me if I didn't throw my hat in the ring at least once. I might write background K2 though for something unimportant bc I kinda like how I write them ngl. OKAY GOODBYE FOR NOW I'VE CONVINCED MYSELF TO MAYBE WRITE ANOTHER BOUND CHAPTER.

[llynwen]

Oh don't worry about the ask getting eaten, tumblr has killed 2 of my blogs in the last damn month this website is held together through sheer collective willpower. Soooooo about hoodie-stealing gf Rust: something about his clothes seemed weird to me when they went to Carcosa, and during a rewatch I realized that crisp white shirt is rather too big for him. He threw out all his 'professional' attire years ago when he quit being a cop but something about this work--not the job of police officer, I mean the work of seeking justice for the innocent--demands a certain ceremonial importance in what he wears. And rather than go buy a shirt he seems to have raided Marty's closet like he did in 95. Thoughts???

Hi! First of all I am so so very sorry for how long it’s taken me to answer this and also for the. Let's call them technical difficulties. I actually have soooo many thoughts about the costumes on this show. 

Let's start with the shirts. Every time we see rusty wear a dress shirt in 2012 it is slightly too big. Now, I totally agree with your take about him having thrown away all of his work clothes before the move. I don’t think he cares about appearances all that much anymore (I mean. As much as I adore the hair, it is not very professional). I like to think he only dresses up when they go to question people to fit into the part of a PI, to be more believable. 

As far as I know he wears two different shirts in episode 7

and one in 8

In both of these they are kinda loose on him, the waist is tucked in but it’s all bunched up in the back, even the collars seem a bit too wide. 

I also love this fit

At first glance I was convinced these were the same suits, but they are not, though they are eerily similar. The jacket looks too big for rusty, too, and maybe a bit tight on marty. I really want to believe that rust is wearing marty’s hand me downs the entire time.

All this thinking about the clothes had me looking at other outfits we see throughout the show, and what I noticed were the flannels. Prior to 2012, we almost exclusively see rust in formal wear. He wears work clothes seemingly 24/7. He will occasionally take his shirt off and run around in the famous wifebeater, but even that is just a stripped down version of his work clothes. He mows the lawn dressed like that. Even during The Event with maggie he is still in his work clothes, even though he just got suspended and has been drinking for hours.

There are very few exceptions of him wearing something different. If we ignore crash, prior to 2012 we see him out of his work clothes exactly twice.

First time is when he talks to maggie at the diner. He’s wearing a blue flannel in this scene, and I was like, this shirt looks familiar. Then I had me a closer looksie, and lo and behold, i found this.

Again, for a second I was sure it was the same damn shirt. It isn't, but it's close. Both of them wear a blue flannel when they go to talk to maggie, which is very interesting to me. Additionally, since we've established that rusty doesn't own any casual clothes, I think it is fair to assume the flannel he is wearing at the diner is actually marty’s. This isn't so far fetched, since at the time marty is staying at rust’s house, so they probably have a shared laundry pile.

The other time we see rust wear a flannel is during the parking lot fight. I don't think marty wears anything similar at any point (but if I'm wrong please come let me know), but it is definitely something he would wear.

The parking lot fight takes place the morning after The Event, we know that rust is not in the best of mindsets. 

(I actually think he came over to the station that day precisely because of what happened the night before. I don't think he came to pick up his things, since we know he had all the files at his apartment, and I don't believe him to be the kind of man that keeps personal belongings at his desk. No, I think he went there to punish himself. He knew that marty would react badly, and he knew he would probably attempt to beat him up. This could be why rust doesn't really fight back, and lets marty tackle him and land a few good punches.) 

The shirt he wears could be something that marty left behind. I think he might have worn it as a kind of armor, something with positive emotions attached to it. He knows that marty and him are done, no going back, so he wraps himself in the comfort of their friendship. 

If you have any other observations, please let me know! I’ll have another look at the clothes during my next rewatch, but I’m sure I'll miss something anyways, this show is so jam packed with detail. Thank you again for sending me this ask!

Let me leave you with this, though.

Why is rusty’s ass wet in carcosa? If he was just sweaty, wouldn't his shirt be wet too? Did he piss himself? What is going on. 

Love you bestie xx

[hellbentrapture]

Gone

I did not think my first eulogy would be for my best friend. I did not think we would not grow old together, geriatrics doing movie nights. I did not think I would not always be cooking and sharing meals with him, so candid and excited about each one. I did not think he would let go. I did not think he would not be there. Ever. Again.

CW/TW: suicide, grief, loss, depression, mental illness, abusive and manipulative family, funeral arrangements, C-PTSD/PTSD, OCD.

My best friend committed suicide on February the 7th of this year (2024), I learned about it on the 10th after myself and my other best friend filed a missing persons report for him on the 9th. He had been struggling only a few days prior with an episode that involved C-PTSD and a flashback - I cannot divulge more than this, only that it was so complicated and there is so much more to it. He did go to the hospital, on Sunday the 4th. He did spend the night. He went home Monday the 5th.

Myself, he, and my other best friend had a group call. We talked for awhile and he was genuinely hopeful for the future. He had plans, he was talking to people, he was reaching out.

Wednesday the 7th was the last time anyone heard from him - it was me and my other best friend, at 10am. We were told he likely died around 4:30pm/5pm. A matter of hours, lessened when you account for him writing the letter and travelling. We were informed it was a train. I will never look at trains the same ever again, I do not know when I will be able to truly look at them yet...

The space between the 7th and the 10th is because he was unidentified, and was only discovered and connections made because I insisted we check on him. I insisted we make calls on Friday, we go to his apartment, we involve local health, we involve the police. Had we not filed that missings, who knows how long it would have been.

Worse yet, his abusive and estranged mother is his legal next of kin. So she gets to make all the calls on his arrangements and care. He had technically cut off his sister 8 months ago, but she is our only ally and is the far far lesser of the two evils. Working with her has not been as bad as it could be - without her, my other best friend and I would have no power nor legal recourse anywhere.

Before his mother intervened, we had picked a lovely funeral home to have him cremated at, that even said they could arrange a viewing for us. Instead, he will be going to literally the cheapest crematorium in the city (that actually advertises as such) and does not do viewings. His mother has been withholding what belongings she has gotten and has threatened to withhold all of his ashes if his sister does not see her for them. His mother, and her partner, have also threatened to keep the ashes out of spite. Luckily, the crematorium has promised us half the ashes that we can pick up separately.

I am trying not to fret that She will intervene once more...

I have not been fully processing or feeling it all yet - I don't think I will be able to until we are done planning the official service (that anyone who knew him is welcome to) and the wake (the tight circle). So a big part of me feels like I am in wait mode still.

But I do feel it every now and then, the deep cavernous sadness. The utter despair. The loss. The denial. The anger. Grief. More grief.

I loved him so very much. We were two struggling souls caught in a ruthless and relentless storm, gripping each other's hands, terrified but knowing we could make it together. I had so many visions of my future, and he was always going to be there with us.

In the end, as he told me in his letter, it was the OCD. I am angry that he gave into the impulse to find only the worst stories of OCD, where he believes those to be the all. I am deeply hurt, wishing I had known it felt so bad for him. And I am mortally terrified, for I did not know OCD could take you down like that - and I have OCD.

And you know what this all needs? Therapy. Do you know what I cannot access? Therapy.

I am so lucky and thankful for the Tight Circle I still have, we are supporting each other so much right now and I am so glad for it. I know I have others. I know this awful, awful pain will pass eventually, with time.

Time...

[biillys]

🔥ask game🔥 for Stranger Things

6. which ship fans are the most annoying?

8. common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about

11. number of fandom-related words you've filtered

18. it's absolutely criminal that the fandom has been sleeping on...

19. you're mad/ashamed/horrified you actually kind of like...

21. part of canon you think is overhyped

25. common fandom complaint that you're sick of hearing

hello ily thanku 🥺🥺

6. which ship fans are the most annoying?

well every time something's happening it's always the bylers or the steddies making noise. the harringrove gang can def be annoying too but something about the way the others think theyre like. morally correct for their ship etc is just like. give me a fucking break. ur litereally on tumblr dot com. wait actually not a ship technically but the people that are obsessed with the fruity four. literally shut uppppppp

8. common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about?

feel like most of my opinons aren't common enough to weigh in here so idk? billy would never settle for steve fucking harrington? HEATHER would never settle for robin!!!!!! billy and max's relationship is COMPLICATED and the duffers did not get to/try to examine and show that in their limited screentime. so all the idiots that are obsessed with saying max hated billy/was happy he died, read the fucking room!!!!

11. number of fandom related words you have blocked?

lol

usually i don't blacklist things cos usually i'm chill but my dash had so much of them and i found myself like. getting actively annoyed everytime they were on my screen. so i started with blocking steve and was like wow. it's so nice here now that he's gone. lets see if i can make it even better.

unfortunate side effect of this is that i barely see any billy content now cos he's unfortunately linked hand in hand with the others. i miss him so much. it's okay tho cos i can cry into ur inbox about him and send my friend 25 minute audios about him and i made another billy sideblog thats locked that i can post headcanons and fic-ish things on so!!! it's fun still!!!! i may post on this blog like once in a blue moon but he's literally on my mind 24 hours a day. has been for almost five years now.

18. it's absolutely criminal that this fandom has been sleeping on...

six feet under crew. billy, heather, chrissy, and eddie all died. max i'm pretty sure technically died so she's an honourary member. yeah i know others died too but anyway. ANYWAY i think they deserve to have fun and start shit together yknow!!!! i think they'd all fuck each others lives up but also be there to help pick up the pieces!!!! stopping myself here becos otherwise i will not shut up. wait also just max, chrissy, and heather...... el too if we're feeling giving. i just think they'd have fun together!!!!!

WAIT ALSO tommy and carol. BRING 'EM BACK. the trio of billy, eddie, and tommy? but also ALSO the nightmare that would be max, heather, chrissy, and carol.

the idea of billy and max living at the trailer park and neil and susan fucking off? maybe susan stays? idk but just the idea of everyone coming to chill at their trailer or going between theirs and eddies, even though their trailers can absolutely not fit that many people??? friday nights getting fucked up and faded. making terrible life decisions. making permanent life decisions. no i need to shut up now....... fuck.... spending the hours between 11pm and 2am trying to nail down a tattoo design before struggling through work for the weekend, complaining about their bosses, making fucking disasters in the kitchen, carol and tommy surprisingly being the only decent cooks, max having a knack for baking. trying to plan concert trips, talking about how differnt their lives would be if they had went to go to college instead. bingewatching terrrible television. semi decent box-dye jobs. terrible at-home haircut jobs. high school spitting them out and them trying to find their feet in the real world, them all getting full time jobs and trying to like. fucking survive. find a reason to get through the fucking weeks. SHUTTING UP NOW i swear.

19. you're mad/ashamed/horrified you actually kind of like...

idk if i would say i'm ashamed or horrified or anything?? but idk i like dark fic/dead dove fic so like. that one w billy and the demodog? a fav. also i fucking love age gap so i would easily read billy/karen if it was out there. it is not. i've checked. wait forgot max/billy is usually frowned upon. read that easily too.

21. part of canon you think is overhyped?

i dont know a single person hyping up stranger things or it's plot lines/story arc's? fruity four i guess cos after season four that amount of ppl that made that a Thing? crazy.

25. common fandom complaint that you're sick of hearing?

'how does billy have fans he literally deserved to die becos [usual list of reasons here]' banging my head against a wall. move on with ur life. everyone else has.

'[insert harringrove hate here]' when ppl post rancid takes on them and then i have to defend it even when i don't care for it like. please. did u not see the shower scene? the basketball scene? the fight scene??? open ur eyes. i may be a hater but i'm not stupid. they fucked for real i'll admit that. the worse the take is the more i'm like damn maybe i do ship them maybe they ARE gay as shit for each other and married right now.

[oobbbear]

What's it like to be an animation student? I'm thinking of majoring in animation but I'm sill unsure.

(Okay first I’m not good with words so this might be a little all over the place)

It’s different in every school, and I’m speaking as a first year student who only started in September so take my words with a grain of salt

For me the college I’m attending is very competitive, the pressure comes more from your peers than the teachers.

There’s a lotta schoolwork, each of them can take a long time but it’s mostly drawing, which if you like it the work will be very easy for you. (Still stressful, but at least it’s the fun kind of stress)

There’s not a lot of essays and reading, only 1 out of my 9 courses requires us to write anything. I found this really amazing because I personally suck at essays n’ stuff I will go crazy if you want me to write, but I can handle drawing 6-8 hours a day no problem.

You’ll need to have a strong fundamental before you got here because other than the technical stuff teachers will expect you to know most thing already, they will only touch on the basics the rest you’ll need to figure out yourself.

The assignments are really fun, they gave us a lot of artistic liberty which is why I can sneak witch sun moon into my work *cough*

I’m conclusion if you love animation and very determined in this path you’ll love it here

(A small tip for applying: If you want to apply to animation school I suggest starting you portfolio as early as possible, cause if you are applying to multiple schools you can’t just send the same portfolio to each one of them, schools are going to have different portfolio requirements. The one I got into I spent more than half a year preparing the portfolio and I only applied to this one school, so yeah start early, and if the requirements not out yet look for previous year requirements, the school normally won’t change it much)

Here are something not related to animation school but the industry in general:

If you just want to get into the animation industry, art school is not really necessary, the companies look more at your portfolio than your education. If the animation school in your country costs an arm and a leg (Cal art I’m looking at you) then think before applying, now days most of the stuff they teach in school can be learned online so art school is not essential for getting a job in the industry. You can make connections in college to get better job yes, but that requires a lotta people skill.

Hope this will help, and again sorry it is a little all over the place :’D

[recoveringhopefulsoul]

July 5, 2024

Today is Lia's first birthday. I can't believe my baby kitten is now a year old! She'll still be technically in a kitten age group until she's 2, even though she transitions to adult food now. She was so shocked when I brought out her kitten broth, her old food and her new food (which she LOVES), and her birthday treats. They're actually called Birthday even though it's lobster and beef flavored.

After losing Willow at only 8 months old, I have been so overprotective of Lia. Now that she's a year old, I may be able to loosen up a little. We'll see. Lia gave me lot of cuddles this morning until she said, "Mommy, that's enough," by giving me a slight (non-painful) bite on my forearm. That's her cue for "I don't want to be picked up right now" or "I want down now".

Anyway, I am here now drinking my coffee. I am still recovering from all the days I spent out this past week. Thankfully, I didn't sleep until noon today, only until 10, so I'm getting back to my usual. Although, there were a lot of fireworks here last night, and due to trauma things, it's very hard to calm my body down enough to fall asleep. They went past midnight, which honestly is disrespectful. Fireworks need to stop at 10pm, and the latest (on the holiday itself) at 11pm.

Lia kept looking at me when they started going off, and I told her what they were and gave her a safe space in the closet where she could go. I left a spot open in there, when I redid my closet, that would be just for her to go to and rest. I put her bed in there with her toys, gave her some catnip treats, sprayed some lavender under the blankets on my bed so it wouldn't be overly strong for her but would still be relaxing, and put on some kitty music that had a cat purring. After a while, we both were pretty desensitized to them, which I was grateful for. I am getting better with them so I don't go into trauma flashbacks anymore, and that's an amazing thing.

I think, no, I know, there's a part of me that is upset with my weight. I am on day 3 or 4 of my cycle, so some of it is from that, but it's higher than what I would like it to be. It's not interfering, as far as I know, with what I need to be doing for myself, but it is aggravating my exercise urges which makes the urge to not do anything even stronger because I'm afraid of being unable to stop exercising once I start. It's a conundrum, right? It's what makes doing my PT exercises so difficult! I am glad that I'm going to be starting PT up again in August since I'll have that support, but that also means that I may have to try driving every now and then.

Driving still causes me so much anxiety! It's because I've blacked out at the wheel numerous times, gotten extremely lightheaded, or end up dissociating further than what is normal while driving. (As in a lot of people dissociate while driving, like accidentally going to work instead of the store, and yes that is dissociation, I've studied this for my graduate degree, but mine is more like blocking out hours at a time or just the whole trip and not remembering even driving there to begin with). But they know this at the PT office, so the last time I had to do this, they've told me that if I'm in a place that it would be unsafe to drive, to call them, and we would reschedule the best we could. Thankfully I only had to do that once in the 3-4 months of PT I had for my right leg.

Mom and Gamma are coming over for a bit today since they'll be in town. They are going to sing Happy Birthday to Lia, so that will be nice. The baby is probably so confused since cats have no concept of these things, but it makes special memories for their humans, so they put up with it. LOL

[umichenginabroad]

Week 2: Getting Intense(ive)

Howdy y'all, it's me Connor back after, quite frankly, an exhausting week of classes. When I learned I was going to be taking class here I thought I would be taking ✨Classes✨ but in reality I am going to the library most days. That being said I don't think I have ever been more interested in what I am learning than I am right now.

This is a picture of me and my dorm-mates walking to our first class together.

Intro to Japanese has been nothing but spectacular. Although the class is moving a bit slower I have chances everyday to practice what I learn so I am getting quite confident in my abilities. Also the teachers are so nice and helpful in class even though they do not speak almost any English.

In the afternoons we have Automotive Engineering class, now these are the tough ones. Having a 4 hour lecture every afternoon is not for the weak. What is entertaining though is the people the University bring in to special lectures. We have met employees from Nissan, Toyota, Mitsubishi and more. All of them gave given us amazing lectures on the future plans for these companies and what to expect if we ever end up working there. All of the lectures have been passionate to a point I have never experienced in the United States, everyone truly seems to love what they are doing and it makes the class so much more fun.

With about 5-6 hours of lecture a day I will at least concede the point that the amount of homework we have is light, often only a one page reflection on the information e learned, which is quite nice as I often find myself exploring in the afternoon/night with friends.

Another huge upside of this school is the cafeteria, the food is absolutely wonderful and dirt cheap:

Two of the lunches I've had. On the left a spicy miso ramen and I do not quite remember what the ride noodle bowl was called but it was equally delicious. Both of these cost me about $3 USD and they were amazing.

This first week we also had special tours of a number of different research labs here at Nagoya University.

These are two concept cars designed and created within the university. On the left you can see a small Toyota fitted with lidar and camera sensors, this is one of the universities forefront autonomously driven vehicles. On the right is a built from scratch "Slocal' (A slow locally driven vehicle which often gives verbal directions to the driver) vehicle which has the primary purpose of helping the elderly get around safely.

In addition to the research cars they have multiple highly technical driving simulators used for the research. These things are crazy big and so cool. I was even able to drive in one of them for a short while and the amount of modifications that are available via. software editing is ridiculous.

That was about it in terms of the technical knowledge and class stuff for this week so now we get to FOOD REVIEWS!!!!! <3

After being in Japan for over a week at this point I still had yet to have sushi so me and my roommates went and found this little hole in the wall place.

You can see me and my friends sitting at the bar on the left and the finished food spread on the right. We were the only ones in here for dinner which made sense as the sign outside only said すし which just translates to sushi (So still don't know the name of this place). We had an amazing time and the food was great and we even talked to the chef a bit in Japanese.

Around midweek I was craving something super spicy, and my girlfriend Olivia recommended me aa curry chain before I left called Coco Ichiban so we tried it out

This is the spread of each of our orders. Mine is in the bottom left (The one that is several shades darker than the others) I did not understand how the spice level system worked here and ordered a level 8. It turned out that meant it was about 24 times spicier than level 1. My spice cravings were definitely satisfied and then some. Still we had an amazing dinner and I do want to go back to try the level 10.

The next spot also came recommended from Olivia and it was a cream puff spot called Beard Papa.

This is a photo of all of their types of cream puffs. I got three different kinds: vanilla, peach, and green tea filling all with the original pastry. They were rich, decadent, and sweet; Everything you could want in a cream puff. (My favorite was the peach)

Lastly I did just a little bit of sightseeing towards the end of the week.

This is me at a Chunichi Dragons baseball game. Baseball is huge in Japan and this is the local Nagoya team. This night they won 1-0 against the Hiroshima Carp. The energy was super high the entire game, fans constantly cheering, music playing, it was so much fun. (I ended up buying a jersey because the starting pitcher did so well).

I have felt so much more comfortable in my surroundings this week and cannot wait to keep learning about and exploring this amazing country.

Until next time, さようなら, また 来週

Connor Gilfillan

Mechanical Engineering

NUSIP Automotive Engineering in Nagoya, Japan

[sso-montana]

post garnok montana 👀 what is that like for her 👀 -dinosaurvalley

HELLO HI JOSEPH MY GUY

Ok, so, I'm taking this as only the immediate post garnok time up to like 2 years later bc else it would be so much lmao (so this covers only the post garnok and traveling Jorvik arc since both happens in the span of 3/4 years of one another)

After the squid is properly sealed again so he doesn't fucking destroy the whole island (he's just sealed. He can't be destroyed. In my version Aideen and Garnok are like ying and yang. You can't have one without the other.) the Soul Riders can return to their normal life.

Which is a pretty hard thing to do if you don't know what your normal life looks like. After coming back to Jorvik Montana immediately got involved in magic shit and saving the world and dealing with her parents death which meant she never even had the chance to form some sort of new, every day lifestyle. And she tries, she tries so hard to cope with this normalcy of not spending evening and nights taking out Dark Core machines or dealing with pandoric rifts. So she tries. She helps out at the stables, does work at the forge and helps out with the deliveries, keeps learning new spells and studying magic.

But something is missing. Despite everything she still feels like she has something to do, that there are still things she needs to finish. There's this hollow feeling in her chest that haunts her when she's alone, when it's night and she's laying alone in her bed and no matter what she does it won't leave.

And Justin knows something is wrong. She's thinner than before, she's not dyeing her hair as regularly, she's stoped asking him to spend the night with her, Onyx tells him that she doesn't talk much when the both of them are going on trail rides. Every time he tries to talk to her she changes the subject or says she doesn't want to talk. This goes on for months until one day Justin finally blows up at her and the two of them have the worst fight they've ever had.

Only once Montana breaks down and admits she doesn't know what to do, that she feels lost and without purpose and with no idea of what to do next, of how to fix herself do both of them sit down and talk it out. Justin gets them tea and a box of tissues for Montana and they spend a few hours sitting on her bed, talking about what possibilities there are for her.

In the end they arrive at the conclusion that it would be good for her to travel around Jorvik for a while. Make sure all the portals and stones are sealed, help with any rifts or magic chaos that just naturally occurs on Jorvik. Maybe even learn some new spells, try out how she could perhaps still use her magic. Possibly even find a cure for her corruption.

And it's not like she's leaving for years on end without coming back. She drops by every few months, makes sure she's there for birthdays and things like Christmas or big celebrations. While on the road there are enough people she knows where she can crash at their stables and if that's not an option she has a tent for bad weather and a hammock for warm summer nights. It's actually helping a lot with relearning who she herself as a person is. After 2 to 3 years of this she's figured out how to somewhat navigate from that point forward (aka. Taking over Conrad's Blacksmith once he retires and taking care of magic activities around Moorland, Silverglade and Fort Pinta. Plus still helping out at Moorland Stables and permanently moving back in. Justin and her technically took a break (does that work if you never really were officially together?) and had the whole "if you find someone else take that chance" talk but neither of them did so now they officially are a thing. Only took them abt 8 years to get there

(I change my mind. Justin and her stay an item. They accidentally adopt 3 kids. They don't have biological ones. Mayhaps they got married)

[ratherembarrassing]

2023: weeks 7, 8, 9, 10 and 11 [13 feb to 19 mar]

this is madness. it's been a crazy busy month. i'm currently in my fourth hotel. let's go.

VACATION!

new york: greenwich village was home for the first week of my vacation. a part of manhattan that i liked to visit a lot when i lived in brooklyn but never a place i've managed to spend as much time as i would like... and still have not. the marlton hotel on 8th was delightful although i encountered far too many australians for my liking. the lobby bar was, as warned of in every single review i read, absolutely packed with people just chilling/drinking/working at all hours of the day, but it was honestly a hoot.

new york coffee: i am notoriously hateful of american coffee, because it's revolting, but the game has been changed in the last few years. every morning i went somewhere different as i set out for the day, and every day i was rewarded handsomely with a decent-to-perfect latte. thank you for embracing the milk based espresso game, new york. i cannot extend my compliments to california.

art: i managed to hit up two art museums i've been to previously (the met, the guggenheim) and two that i had not (the whitney, the frick) while in new york, and the completely out of character pre-modern kick i've been on heavily influenced where i had the most fun.

the guggenheim is home to my very favourite painting, franz marc's yellow cow, but half the permanent collection was down for an exhibition, so he was gone. however, i had seen marc's fighting cows at the met a few days earlier, in which my good friend the yellow cow is hanging out in the background, so i was content.

the met was full of all the classical architecture things i have spent the last few months being weird about, and so is every street in new york, so i was having a great time and my phone is full of photos of completely random buildings all over manhattan. but there was something really satisfying about walking through parts of the building i viscerally remember not having any interest in previously and being like, i know you guys now.

the frick was a similar experience, kind of, in that i have a clear memory of passing on going because i knew it was full of old paintings. not exactly my thing, for the most part, more of an incidental acquaintanceship from often being housed in the same building as art i prefer. i don't remember what specifically prompted me to go this time, but an inadvertent consequence of deep diving architectural history is that i acquired a whole art history education that i never really had, and like, what a difference that makes.

the whitney had a hopper exhibition showing that had pretty much everything he ever painted except for nighthawks, which was weird.

shows!: "are you going to see any shows while you're there?" "is there any other reason to even go to new york?"

this was documented as it happened, but i experienced classical music live for the first time while unintentionally very, very drunk. i've settled on this having been an incredible experience, well done me.

i saw funny girl. it's actually incomprehensible how good lea was in this given that, okay, so. wait, context. so what actually happened was, i had tickets for funny girl on the friday night and the ny phil on saturday night, and lea was out sick friday AND the saturday matinee. i got an email about her being out at 3pm but didn't see it until 6pm, and somehow i still managed to switch both tickets to seats in almost the exact same location and recovered like $100 of the original price in the process. so after being off sick for two shows lea was, honestly, fucking incredible. it's so irritating, but it is what it is.

jessica chastain is currently doing a doll's house (i think it technically opened on march 9 but it's been in previews for weeks). this was wild, as far as these things go. extremely minimal, bordering on avant-garde maybe or just throwing a lot of singular things that other productions have done into a pot together. spoilers for the key staging moments: it started with nora on stage for a solid 10 minutes before curtain (there was no curtain), while the house lights were still up and people were still wandering into their seats and talking, and ended with her walking out through a door at the back of the stage directly onto the street behind the theatre in a moment so baffling i am still chuckling every time i think about it. it wasn't perfect but it's going to stay with me.

an assortment of other things i bought/experienced in new york

an australian goes to an nhl game: i thought i could come to like any sport, but this was really just not my thing. also, the shouting from the crowd during the national anthem made me genuinely uneasy.

the post-metrocard subway. people had commented to me and have asked since if new york "felt different", and this might be the only place where it did feel different. the subway felt empty, and nobody uses the emergency exit anymore, and no more metrocard just feels wrong.

an american biscuit from popeyes. it was delicious. at the time i said i was coming around on the biscuit thing, but then i had one with gravy in california and it was just wrong.

a whole bunch of writing implements and notebooks from good for the study, which happened to be across the street from my hotel. it's maybe one of the hardest things to buy in australia now, as everything else has become easier and this one specific category of goods has not. i spent so much money it was ridiculous. ask me about my pens.

the apple charger adapter kit, because i accidentally packed my european adapter and had planned to use my apple brick exclusively as my means of charging all my shit. so now i have one for everywhere on earth, and that feels like a challenge.

which also lead to me walking past zitomer, because somehow i spent half my time in new york on the upper east side, and tar had reminded me of that new york magazine article about the women who shop at zitomer, and anyway now i own $22 lipbalm in a zitomer lipstick tube.

also, because travel seems to somehow always destroy my hands, i now own hand cream that smells like orange tic tacs. that was from whole foods, though.

los angeles: i drove! in california! pulling out of that avis parking lot was honestly one of the more terrifying things i've ever done. socal was experiencing some weather, and i had to drive to long beach, and i'd spent 20 minutes trying to figure out the carplay controls in a mazda (fucking insane) and it was going to get dark soon, so i had to go. in the end it was great, and the last day i spent driving all over the place and i am fully committed to doing the entire PCH as a trip sometime soon.

the pie bar: it was february 24, which is twin peaks day, so i dragged everyone to this place we found on google, and i ate cherry pie for the first time and it was fantastic, and like the ten or so of the rest of us all had different kinds of pies and everyone enjoyed the hell out of them, so this place was fucking awesome. also they gave us a candle to stick in leah's pie so we could sing happy birthday.

broadway cocktail lounge's karaoke night: long beach really was batting well above its average this night. maybe it was the weather keeping everyone local, but there was a woman who sounded like stevie nicks who did gold dust woman and i'm honestly still thinking about her all these weeks later.

santa monica: a lovely place to be! i stayed at the fairmont, which was very funny because i had previously had brunch in the restaurant there without realising it was the same place. anyway, five star hotels are hilarious and i love them. they brought my ubereats order to my door at nearly midnight, which makes them infinitely better than the intercons that i've stayed at that make you come down and get it yourself. i will but up with that at a four star hotel, but not at a five! i'm kidding, but not really lmao.

disneyland!: go on a rainy monday in february! waltz right into every right! do the star wars rides twice! i fucking love disneyland and will go in the heat when it's packed and queue for an hour for most things, but this was super special just getting to do anything. the new star wars ride is so fucking awesome! take your kids to disneyland!

then i ate a final lax panda express and headed home.

FIVE SHOWS IN TWELVE DAYS!

angel olsen @ melbourne recital centre: i will admit i was jetlagged as fuck and might have nodded off for a second in my front row seat. nonetheless, what a babe.

bikini kill @ forum: happy international womens day! this was all ages gig with a lot of tiny little kiddos there with their cool mums and it was a great time to be in a room with a lot of people there for the vibe.

florence and the machine @ rod laver: that woman is a god damn witch, and i will not be told otherwise. fucking mesmerizing. it's just a fucking treat to see the person who makes some of your favourite music be incredible in front of you.

lorde @ sydney myer music bowl: MUNA opened for her and they slapped.

carly rae jepsen @ forum: the most fun i've had at a concert in ages. i was sweaty and exhausted and full of joy by the end, and unlike everyone else there i didn't get covid. midway through the show i got a text that my 6.30am flight the next morning had been cancelled and that was also very fun!

haloumi baos at blondie bar: this is the always busy spot outside the melbourne recital centre / southbank theatre. they came with pineapple jam. it was so good i went back a week later for pre-lorde dinner and sat on a tiny tiny bench to eat them.

sydney: i am in it. i'm here for work, but yesterday i had brunch at pina in potts point, and this morning i had brunch at porch and parlor and wandered around bondi before i had to spend a few hours working. i'm here for another week and a half, so tell me fun things to do.

THREE COMEDIES IN TWO WEEKS!

am i being unreasonable (season 1, bbc): i watched this on the flight to lax, i had no idea what it was and no way to find out, and let me tell you: that was wild. one of the most intriguing and fucked up and funny things i've watched in a while.

extraordinary (season 1, hulu/disney+): this show is so charming i want to scream. luke rollason, oh my god. he's just a little guy!

the flatshare (season 1, paramount+): i dunno. did anyone else watch this?

okay i'm done, goodbye.

[aggravateddurian]

OC Interview: Wolverine Commander

I was tagged by @luvwich. I decided to go with something novel and interview the commander of the rebel army known as the Wolverines, as featured in The President's Lady, my Myers x V fanfic. This is technically his first appearance in The President's Lady canon.

Interviewer: The commander of the anti-NUSA militia known as 'The Wolverines' rarely agrees to going in front of the media. He agreed to this exclusive interview on the condition that his identity was obscured. For this meeting, we were scanned, our cyberware was disabled, and we were bagged, before being driven to an unknown location.

This is what he shared with us.

Interviewer: Thank you for agreeing to meet with us, Commander. Commander: Thank you for coming. I was half-expecting you to flake out when you heard my conditions to agreeing to this interview. Interviewer: The truth isn't scared of being bundled into the back of a van blindfolded, Commander. Commander: Hmph...

Name?

You can call me 'Commander.'

Nickname?

I don't know you well enough for you to know that... yet.

Gender?

Male. Cis.

Star sign?

Orion. The hunter. Fitting, considering our line of work is hunting those who would destroy what little freedom Night City has left.

Height?

Helping the FIA build a physiological profile on me? Also want the size of my cock?

Interviewer: Uh... I don't think that'll be necessary. Next question? Commander: Please.

Orientation?

Upright.

Interviewer: No, sir, I meant... which way do you swing? Commander:...

Next question.

Nationality/ethnicity?

Helping the FIA figure out my life story?

Interviewer: No, I assure you we have no... Commander: If you were FIA, we wouldn't be having this conversation... and you'd be dead. Interviewer: *gulp*

Night City, born and raised. My father bled red, white and blue for the NUSA. He eventually died for it. His blood is on the hands of every politician and corpo fuck who let us bleed in the name of ever higher profits.

Next question.

Favourite fruit?

Pineapple.

Favourite season?

Spring. The dawn of new life. One day, Night City will have its spring. It will be the dawn of a new age for America, one closer to the ideals we were taught America stood for. Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.

Favourite flower?

The Sampaguita.

Coffee, tea, or hot chocolate?

Coffee. Easier to put whiskey in coffee than hot chocolate.

Average hours of sleep?

Depends on a number of factors.

Interviewer: such as?

I reckon between 6-8 hours. I tend to sleep better when I hear that the NUSA has tripped on its own cock... so I sleep well pretty much every night.

Dog or cat person?

Cats. Cats choose their humans, they're independent-minded and they don't blindly follow orders. We could do with more cats in this world and fewer lapdogs.

Dream trip?

Have we invented interdimensional travel yet? Love to visit an Earth that isn't being actively gangbanged by the worst possible examples of humanity.

Favourite fictional character?

Captain America. Cap'n Rogers would see Myers for the fascist she is and sock her with that shield of his. He'd be appalled at the state of America today.

Number of blankets you sleep with?

My troops make do with one, so I do as well.

Fun fact?

Since we started this interview, about twenty innocent people have died on the streets of Night City...

Not very fun, is it?

Interviewer: N-no sir.

How do we stop it?

Interviewer: I don't know...

Have to stop it at the source. Myers is just a symptom of the disease. The disease is the inhumane system we live in, it's antithetical to life... but you're not here for the recruiting speech.

Any other questions?

Interviewer: No, that's all. Thank you for your time, Commander.

[freddieloundsgf]

my five star books so far this year!

twitching and shaking right now trying not to become a book blog but i have no one else to talk to so you will all be subjected to my ramblings! >:)

i am not a professional reader or reliable critic. what i give five stars is usually totally dependent on vibes and how i feel while reading and is not at all indicative of extreme technical skill or otherwise life altering capabilities. i just work here.

1. Inferno by Dante Alighieri

- to no one’s surprise, the exvangelical, religious iconography and hell-obsessed girl* gave 5 stars to the famous book about hell. this is my favorite book and i have read it many times. i have two inferno tattoos and i collect copies of this book. i prefer the Longfellow translation simply because it is the one i am comfortable with and have tabbed to hell (wink emoji) and back.

2. This Is How You Lose the Time War by Amal El-Mohtar and Max Gladstone

- i love when women love each other. BUT WAIT. disclaimer alert: if you can listen to this book rather than read it, please please please do yourself the favor of listening. this book is non-linear, convoluted, and chock-full of flowery and even complicated prose that will make you kill yourself if you have to comprehend the text as it is inked upon a page. the audiobook is only 4 hours long and can be listened to in a day. it would not have been five stars if i hadn’t listened to it.

3. Know My Name by Chanel Miller

- an absolutely gut-wrenching, heartbreaking, and important memoir from the “Emily Doe” involved in the Brock Turner case. a powerful depiction of reclaiming your identity and navigating the husk of your own life after being rendered a “victim.” i don’t have much i can say about this, the book says it all. Chanel Miller puts words to feelings that have rotted me from the inside out my entire life.

4. Piranesi by Susanna Clarke

- most people would probably not rate this so high, but i had a really good time reading this book. the world was strange and Piranesi was just such a great perspective to live within. i will admit this did get tedious at times but it did not affect my overall enjoyment.

5. The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger

- listen. i know, okay? i know. my intention was to hate-read this book so i could make fun of the men who love it. and look where that landed me. i read this in basically one sitting and really really enjoyed it. i tabbed and highlighted it to pieces and, unfortunately, found myself thinking “he’s just like me fr” throughout the entirety of the book. sue me.

6. Giovanni’s Room by James Baldwin

- this book had me on suicide watch. just kidding. but really i loved this book and it ripped my heart out and i think about it on and off. i just love James Baldwin’s writing and really respect him as a person and activist, which made it easy to lean into reading this and absorbing it the way i did. i heart gay tragedy.

7. We All Want Impossible Things by Catherine Newman

- this book was so funny. it is about two best friends in their 40s (?) and one of them is dying. it goes through bits of their lives, families, and how love finds a way to flourish despite it all. i really loved this book and read it so quickly. it was just a fun, sad, and charming little read.

8. Rebecca by Daphne Du Maurier

- i was unable to put this book down while i was reading it. and nothing even really happens, so that’s saying something. i was so busy with college and work but i was using every spare moment of free time—forfeiting my lunch breaks, extending my bed time—to read this lol. it is just so brilliantly written. i also wrote fanfic for it. i need Mrs Danvers so bad it makes me look stupid.

9. Pew by Catherine Lacey

- this was such a strange but deeply human story. i don’t even know how to describe it. it is such a quick read though and i definitely recommend that you check it out if you have time or feel so inclined.

10. The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

- i am so late to this. read this for the first time earlier this month. yes i cried. leave me alone. this story is just so good and sweet and it gave me something akin to a warm hug or a kiss on the cheek.

11. Notes From Underground by Fyodor Dostoevsky

- The Brothers Karamazov and Crime and Punishment are still sitting menacingly on my shelf, but i felt comfortable tackling this ≈130 page work of Dostoevsky’s as a means of dipping a noncommittal toe in lol. i really liked this book and, again, like with Catcher in the Rye, found myself relating to the narrator in an almost worrying capacity. the first 40 or so pages of this book that you have to get through before reaching the actual story can be a little grueling but i still had a good time and consider this to be a very good book.

12. Foster by Claire Keegan

- short and sweet at ≈90 pages. i supplemented my read by listening along to the audiobook at the same time. this is just such a meaningful and sad but strong story about a young Irish girl who is brought to live with some distant relatives for a summer. well worth the read if you have a moment to spare.

13. My Husband by Maud Ventura

- i loved this book. another worrying instance of relatability. reading this went by really quickly for me and i had a good time. i will say, i wish there were no epilogue. many such cases.

14. The Employees by Olga Ravn

- another short and sweet read at 125 pages, written as a compilation of “witness statements” that are either just a sentence long or spanning two pages. very interesting and strange, if a little confusing at first. but i loved it and knocked it out in a couple of hours during a lazy afternoon.

currently reading: i am listening to Tom Lake by Ann Patchett, which i am willing to predict right now that it is going to be a five star read.

i am also reading Harrow by Joy Williams. this book is indescribable. i am over halfway done and i couldn’t tell you a single thing about it. but it is incredibly written and somehow still engaging through the veil of confusion. i think this one may be a five star read for me as well, though i don’t know if others would say the same.

[krustworld]

I’m a special type of lonely cuz I’ve been naturally popular my whole life.….technically I don’t know that’s not the case for everybody. Anywys My parents never let me have friends (cuz of religion) so I never learned how to cultivate my ppl skills. Now I’m behind and even tho ppl want to like me…im strange and most ppl don’t fuck with that. Even tho they say they do/will I swear so few ppl

Are even 1% open minded ! It’s chill it’s so hard forme to actually connect w people it’s not worth it rather throw myself into my art. Plus I can be myself around my few friends. It sucked growing up not being able to do anything I wanted to do it definetly made my mental problems worse for context I got taken away from my birth mother at a young age I don’t wanna say why bc I love her so much don’t wanna put her on blast but she lost custody had no visitation rights and I didn’t even talk to her on the phone until I ran away at 17! By that time I didn’t remember what she looked like I used to cry about that all the time cuz I thought she was gonna die and I’d never rememeber again I just remembered that she was beautiful and had the greenest eyes in the world! When she picked up the phone I fell to my knees and cried for the first time in 8 years my chest was going crazy is all I could remeber. Anyways My dad and stepmom raised me across the country and they were super super religious and never let me out of their sight it oh yeah we also had this family restaurant that no kidding! I worked at every single day even after school until close and every single day of the summer from open to close ! Which during the summer we would close at 10 pm or later sometimes lollll we would consistently get home at midnight cuz all the cleaning everyday (during summer) was way more than 12 hours everyday god it makes me sad I should’ve been having a childhood bro and oh yes I was the only one in the family who didn’t have a day off every week[or ever!!! Not even once!) cuz young =strong and oh yeah it’s my fault they’re in debt cuz my mom crazy this was something that was regularly said to my young impressionable heart! I would tell u more but I don’t want anybody to get in trouble lollll for real u guys have no idea it was torture especially after being able to do whatever I wanted in the early years of my life it’s so hard to be nice to myself cuz I’ve been treated with such hostility by the ppl supposed to nurture me they literally used me for money and getting their anger out lol yeah living with my mother had it’s problems but I had already learned to deal with them and found identity/security in them and taking me away from her just stripped me of my identity not to mention MY MOTHER and gave me new problems that were just too much with all the other shit that doesn’t just go away cuz I’m not actively there anymore! Ur souls lives everywhere you go that’s why u have to be careful with yourself and with ur kids </3 also for the record I love my dad and stepmom don’t think they meant to be so cruel to me they’re just hurt