#I know some of you hate me :D
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This might seem like an "old man yells at cloud" situation, but it's just wild growing up and being told how dangerous distracted driving is - how, at highway speeds, you can traverse the length of a football field (100 yards, 91 meters) in a matter of seconds - how one split second sending a text while driving could result in a potential fatal crash, and then getting on the road as a driver and being surrounded by billboards. Their entire purpose is to catch one's attention, so they're lining major roads, which tend to be highways. How is it that you're told how important it is to never be distracted while driving, but still being advertised to?
At best, this type of advertising is an eyesore to pedestrians and motorists and a general waste of electricity to light it, and at worst, it is an active danger considering they are there to advertise and therefore, must catch people's attention.
I'm not even against advertising in theory, but this particular mode bothers me so much and I hate how pervasive it is - especially in large cities or highways.
#politics#i don't know much about são paulo banning marketing billboards but on paper i want that here in the USA#as a motorist it at best just makes me more anxious driving in those larger cities because i want to FOCUS ON THE ROAD#and passing 5000 billboards per mile isn't helping actually!#i've gotten good at filtering that out of my FOV but it's still fucking exhausting lol#i especially hate those modern electric billboards. despise them actually#i am aware that advertising is a critical aspect to business management in some cases...#...but it shouldn't risk the safety of the populous for you to advertise to them and i see things like billboards as risking safety...#...i feel similarly about online advertising in that so much of it risks internet user's safety...#...such as flashing ads online which risk triggering epileptic seizures in light/photo-sensitive folks#distracted driving (texting): NO >:( || distracted driving (being advertised to): YAYYYY :D#i've been driving on my own for a few years now and i've been thinking about this for ENTIRELY too long
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Wars and Wild as knights in Lu
They have issues.
I have a lot of thoughts on Wild and Wars and their relationship (Order of this post is talking about saluting, Wild and Wars' different perspectives, memory issues, and fire) Rant time.
No saluting!!

So Wild took a formal- almost/awkwardly saluting pose when Wars confronted him in 'Entrance pt.2'
It's similar to the first time Wild addressed Wars as 'captain'. His left hand is up from where a salute should be, and his overall posture is awkward, with his shoulders and right hand raised, but it's clear he's trying to do a salute in the presence of a fellow knight.

In the second example his hand is behind his head, but his posture is very straight and his right arm stiff- he's again attempting a formal saluting position. Which is still awkward
It is less clear but his changes in posture clued me in. He goes from like a deer in the headlights to visibly sweating to straight backed and looking up at Wars- looking at the changes in his body language

Side note but I literally love how Jojo draws the champions tunic so much-
We can't see the action of Wild's body language in a comic, just the positions he went to. But he visibly leaned away from Wars before switching to a straight backed saluting-like posture. He's clearly freaked out, hence Twilight's face: >:(
I think that Wild taking somewhat military poses around Wars is important to their relationship issues because it comes from his struggle with memory and identity
.
So like. All of them have different perspectives
Wars
I adore Wars. He is baby and I love him. I think it is also important to acknowledge that he would not speak to any of the others this way.

And the scarf man cmon it's so pretty they are so cute-
Why is Wars talking to Wild like this? He's called him out and reprimanded him multiple times in front of the others. Wild has taken it well but tbh if it was Legend I think he would be on fire.
To some extent I think he is in captain mode. I think that he has trouble seeing Wild as not a knight. Wars gives Wild respect as a knight who sacrificed for his kingdom, but now it seems he's taking it away as a knight who's not doing well enough since he 'disregarded the plan'
At least I think that's the outside (or Wild's) view of it. But Wars internally really cares about Wild and he saw him run up to a giant and lose it. Different ways of showing concern perhaps?

Who wouldn't want to keep Wild from getting more scars?
I just. Don't doubt for a second Wars really cares about Wild- even if the way he's acting still isn't cool. He has no right to treat him like a soldier any more than the rest of the chain, and right now I think Wild is acting as the more mature person.
Wild
I adore Wild. He is baby and I love him. I think it is also important to acknowledge that although he is clearly making efforts after Twilight's injury, Wild has ignored Wars for the majority of Lu, by not speaking to him much, and not thanking or acknowledging Wars when he directly helped him. (Small example being walking with Hyrule not Wars when injured and not directly responding to Wars)

Wars cares about and respects Wild, but it seems Wild wants nothing to do with him, and he's been cold towards Wars for the majority of Lu. To Wild, Wars reminds him of his perceived failure. Which is valid feelings, but still not fair. And I think that ask is talking about these two.
The thing I love about this is each of them are right and wrong in some ways, leading to the tension between them. So fully blaming either of them is not logical
The rest of the chain is just vibing. Except twilight who's mad and wants them to just grow up, but. Heros of courage not wisdom @uniquevoidflowers ;)
And that ask- '''Are any of the Links ever jealous of another Link for adventures that were less difficult/life threatening?'' ''When you hear Wild say he 'hates' someone you'll have your answer.''' somewhat leads to my next point-
Wild's identity and memory issues exacerbate all of this
In Entrance, Twilight is being stressed and defensive, that's ok. What concerns me most is that Twilight has talked with Wild through stuff like this in his rough moments
Wild has tried to be formal several times- he is not very good at it

Four's face I can't didnwidkekfjej
Wild isn't and can't be 'him'- the same 'perfect' (<actually has crippling anxiety) knight he was before, and Twilight knows this. And I agree with him a bit, I think, that Wars is making things worse in Wild's mind by being that perfect soldier, and seemingly holding Wild to a standard he isn't
Wild's attempts at saluting is symbolic of that- Wars makes him feel like a failure trying to be the person he should be. But Wild shouldn't be anyone but himself.
Anyways. Fire.
Wars and Wild have issues, and I want them to work through all their relationship drama so they can reach their PEAK dynamic, which is obviously this
I mean like. We need these two to be friends
Anyways. Wild is in this constant state of identity crisis, and being around Wars has not been beneficial- neither of them is or has been showing the other the respect they deserve. Not as knights, but as people and brothers. They need a get along shirt.
All this Art is by Jojo @linkeduniverse au!
:)
#that's it that's my argument. they need a get along shirt#I think times armor would work. they are small enough to be the kids shoved in dads clothes to get along#it could hold up when wars starts breathing fire and wild blowing stuff up#linked universe#linkeduniverse#hiii Jesse#Lu wild#lu wars#let's talk about it! I know some of yall will disagree with me probably on some of this#open communication and whatnot#but. do not take this post to hate on wild or wars bc they are both baby <3 fire babies#this post took like three days. like it.#<wait that's unclear. I don't mean literally like it lol I just want you to like as because I made it for you and want it to make you happy#':D if I've said anything like mean or offensive accidentally sorry let me know. we all care so much about these little arsonists <33#remember you are loved yall matter so much and I care about you#:)#if I have type the word 'wars' or 'wild' one more time I'm gonna lose it
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This one's for me and the five other High Rollers DnD fans on this site, I gotchu fam.
#high rollers dnd#highrollersdnd#high rollers#altheya#altheyatde#altheya the dragon empire#rollonsunday#dnd#dnd art#dungeons and dragons#dungeons & dragons#d&d#d&d art#art#fanart#my art#artists on tumblr#rowan#rowan altheya#sostenuto#that's right it's time for some niche content#well. niche here. if nobody got me i know the high rollers dnd discord got me#can you tell who my favourite character is?#the boy. the lad. the ray of sunshine who scared off an evil god#(ophelia is definitely a close second though. the most disaster dhampir)#me: i hate drawing arms and hands#also me: i'm going to make an artwork that requires me to draw arms and hands#id in alt text#edit: yippeeee this got in the fanart video (in EP48 Downtime Decisions)! hello if you're coming from there :D
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Jimmy killing himself because he knows he is incapable of living an life without Curly and knows that in the miracle chance they were found and saved they would not let him have contact with Curly and he hates the idea he'd actually have to take responsibility.
Even if he lied, its only a matter of time before Curly is capable of showing or telling what a monster he really is, no matter what delusions tell Jimmy Curly would never do that to him.
He understands that he was the monster in everyone's worse moments but refused to accept that at the end. So he made sure that he died without the possibility of it being actualized as he's the only one that saw death as an escape rather than a release. Jimmy truly didn't believe Curly had anything to escape from even after everything and let him have what he perceived as glory as the sole survivor and thus Captain of the Tulpar.
#like he goes from knowing the the system in place ergo Curly will protect him from consequence even if unitentionally at first which#motivates him to take the measures he does but when that system also loses the ability to effectively stop him he drags the corpse around#like a memento of what he's achieved that slowly warps into a worship as he realizes how much it actually did and that even he struggles#without it cause i believe in light of the crash that the thought of losing Curly's unwavering support because he'd eventually protect Anya#over him when Curly's head was yanked from the clouds at either the baby's birth or just the way he was slowly putting things together as#the big picture became less appealing to look at like Curly was slowly realizing it and i think he knew at the crash scene but it was too#late if he stopped Jimmy or the crash their relationship would've forever been changed by the revalation and part of me wants like a dlc#spin off that deals with some psychological metaphorical horror dealing with that but also like I need jimmy dead.#then again none of this is new or even unique ive seen this explained but i also dont think its addressed that Jimmy's refusal to take#responsibility with Anya avoiding it A N D his envious codependency of Curly made him crash the Tulpar as there was not a way he could fix#the what he did to Anya in his mind without getting rid of her and or the pregnancy in a way that Curly wouldn't leave him and thats so#important like he only viewed Anya through his relationship with Curly and hed rather die than acknowledge her as a person and his assult#on her as something that could realistically get in the way of their relationship and taking advantage of it.#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#jimmy mouthwashing#i hate talking about this dick fuck but he also is like being fascinated by a venomous spider like stay away but i will study you
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"That's the kinda thing... That I hate."
#boonboomger#boonboomger spoilers#super sentai#bakuage sentai boonboomger#taiya hando#sakito homura#bun red#bun violet#userdramas#umbrella.gifs#tokuedit#please do not repost#umbrella.edits#umbrella.posts#translation: over-time#subtitles added by me#i saw some people confused as to why sakito would hate this and it could be for a few reasons#some people believe that if you do something good for other people without an incentive you're untrustworthy#like you're not being truthful about your reasoning or going to use the fact that you did a good thing to manipulate later#he might also have bad experiences with people who've claimed they are doing good things just because they want to or he may have been let#down by someone like this but it could be for any number of reasons but we won't know until his backstory is told#sakito doesn't seem to want to feel a connection to earth too like he denies feeling anything there and doesn't pursue any business he migh#have on earth after byun d's business is done and i feel like meeting people who want to protect earth just because threatens him a little#it's like he doesn't understand but at the same time he has a connection to earth in some way that he's avoiding#i feel like sakito has some pent up feelings about who he is and his life but leans into chaos to keep him from facing it#idk i just think he's neat
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idw bumblebee and prowl shouldve broke up bcs he wouldnt stop 𝚊sking prowl to pause his report for just one lil astrosec so he can change his various pastel colored pens while making his cute little aesthetically pretty for no reason & very time - consuming notes with big colorful fonts & cute designs real quick
also another thought abt annoying ass bb trying to make running a literal planet cotteque so he doesn't go crazy bcs hes now a politician when all he ever wanted was to deliver mail & smile & wave at bots who call him cute ---
bee: 𝚠heeljack, im so sorry about this but do you mind repeating the time-stakingly long introduction, instruments, research references, modules, hypothesis, counter thesis, procedures, analysis, second - retrial, results, & explanation that you just spent 700000 earth hours saying because i was busy drawing a cute little bee in the corner of my notes please :] ?
wheeljack:

idw bee trying to run a planet that fucking hates him is just rlly funny to me, especially since everyone views bee as the goody character who everyone loves & he views himself as that & then they finally win this consuming war & he can reap his rewards of being loved without holding a gun & no one fucking likes him. hes even getting on his own old team's nerves & not in the loveable scamp way but the get the fuck out of my face way
#everybody regarding bee during the war: aw cute lil guy! bringing some positivity to this cruel war!! his goofups are so sparkwarming#it's ok lil guy!! we will always support u at the end of the day bcs u remind us of our sparks inside & love is rea-#everybody regarding bee constantly fucking up on how to run a wholeass planet: WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU#he was just a scout trying to do his best to appease optimus and now hes a bitch still trying to appease optimus for some reason#wheeljack: so i set these tools aside to route a waste system whenever you're ready to establish that legally & ill get to bui-#bumblebee: CAN WE HAVE A TIME MACHINE SO I DONT K*LL MYSELF :D ??#wheeljack: ....... we need a waste system due to disturbed population disrespecting your rules & this planet is getting worse &#bumblebee: please primus wheeljack i Dont know what youre Saying i just want my DaMn tiMeMacHine so people will LiKe mE!!!!#wheeljack: im gonna kill you .#scout bee: grahh who does that guy think he is >:[ im gonna go kick his BUTT!!! being mean to my FRIEND! grah! TAKE THIS#wheeljack: haha no lil guy dont do that ull die lol lets reel back & go back to base to build some cool bombs instead YAYYY they will die :#not US! YAYYYY!!!#* they celebrate in guys who are desensitized to violence *#guys who are desensitized to violence now forced to govern a planet that hates violence but no one else is trusted to do it->#bee: WE NEED TO BUILD SODA FOUNTAINS EVERYWHERE SO PPL WILL STOP PREFERRING WAR CRIMINAL STARSCREAM OVER ME PLS#PLS JACK PLS 😸!!!!!#wheeljack: bumblebee i havent blown up a mech besides myself in so fucking long. im so fucking close.#when ur squad so fucked up the mentally ill undiagnosed ppl pleaser obsessed teachers pet bitch is the best choice#to run a planet bcs everyone else will bomb 99% of the populatjon and leave#bee stills bombs like 5% of it but it's ok bcs theyre decepticons & theyre bad guys & this is def not problematic thinking at all :)#<- literally murder#transformers idw#bumblebee#wheeljack#prowl#transformers#maccadam#tf idw
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Both my parents actually suffer from HORRID emotional dysregulation and are prone to snapping and going into rages. My sister is the same way tbh. I am now realizing this is why they are constantly baffled by the question of whether or not I am mad at them.
I don't have external meltdowns.
I could. I don't let it happen.
I keep my rage on the inside and stay pretty quiet about it. It's just as strong as theirs [physically shaking nose bleed from high blood pressure kind of bad], but like as a kid I saw how terrifying it was to be around [dad breaking dishes, mom putting our lawn chairs into walls] and I just internalized that I wasn't going to wear that anger on the outside.
So my mother genuinely cannot tell if I am just being quiet or if I am silently hearing the dial-up noises of pure rage. This has lead her to both making strong and confident statements like "You are a pacifist who would never hurt a fly U.U" but also acting like I am secretly dangerous maybe... It's because she has never seen me snap.
She knows what her temper is like [throwing chairs through walls], she knows what my father's temper is like [pick up child and toss out door], and she can tell I am being tested, but she doesn't know what happens when I snap or where that breaking point is.
Her -perhaps unhinged- solution to this, my whole life, has been to do things that should obviously enrage me or shut me down completely, like ignoring important boundaries, repeatedly, punishing me for expressing emotions or needs at all, etc... And then to constantly ask me if I am angry with her when I get too quiet [right after near directly telling me to shut up].
It has occurred to me now, they have never once seen me lose my temper, so they literally just can't tell if I am angry at them. My sister is easy, my mother fights and screams with my sister constantly, my mother understands this. My mother doesn't have any grasp of feelings or boundaries that are not screamed at her [apparently, and I fear my sister is the same way]. Her and my sister are close despite constant fucking fighting because they understand each other.
They are trying to get me to engage the same way and it is not working. I realize now that this has been hard for them.
I was so successfully taught to suppress my emotions, by being punished for any outburst, that rage quiet looks the same as any other kind of quiet from the outside. To them anyway.
I did tell her. For the record. I used my words. I did tell her very calmly that my response to rage, in order to avoid doing the things that terrified me as a child, was to simply leave [the autistic urge to GTFO]. When a situation or person causes too much of the dial-up rage noise, I simply extract myself from that situation, up to and including never speaking to a person again. I explained this calmly. I explained it calmly 100 times and I explained that I explain myself calmly as my rage response 1-5 [also pretty much every other negative emotion tbh], and I told her that what came next was me simply opting out and fucking off. I told her this. I couldn't understand why she never took me seriously, or why she never fucking understood.
I couldn't understand what made her like this.
But it's the same problem I have with everyone else multiplied by a factor of 10.
If I am explaining myself calmly, they can't understand that it's actually serious or that I am actually upset. ESPECIALLY because they read me as "female" and women "aren't that rational" so if I am not screaming and crying about something, which I never do, people assume I can't be upset and it isn't serious.
And then after having my boundaries ignored too many times despite having calmly explained how and why it's a problem [shaking inside or not]... I leave. I leave and everyone gets upset like this is unexpected behaviour, even though I told them 50 times that is how I would respond if they kept doing *the thing.*
And for neurotypical people especially, they are expecting there to be a disconnect between what someone says they need or feel and what their actually boundaries and feelings are, and they expect the latter to be demonstrated with emotions. Telling them bluntly you do not function that way somehow never helps?
My mother isn't just looking for normal yelling or a few tears to know I am serious, whether or not I do those either [I don't], she's looking for an explosion to know there's a problem at all.
Fucked if I know how she proceeds through life this way in general or if this is just her expectation of her own kids???
And I couldn't get why my mother couldn't read my emotions and didn't seem to think I have any. It's because she's testing for the rage limit to see where my 'actual' limit is instead of taking my word for it. Never the fuck mind that she could simply *not* test at my boundaries instead of letting me have them. Separate issue.
I couldn't figure out what made her *like this*
She's expecting me to throw a giant meltdown violent tantrum at people when I have 'actually' had enough. Maybe she got away with those being like 5'4" in another time, but I am the size of the average man, I do not get to have giant screaming rages, whether or not people perceive me consciously as a woman, and least of all because a lot of people -at least unconsciously- read me as 'masculine' or at least always "they guy" of the situation compared to all other women and some men [bigger stronger and more rational, more able to just absorb the damage and let it go so the less rational screaming/crying one doesn't have to be dealt with]. Even if it was in me to be willing to terrify people [usually never], there are such limited instances where it wouldn't just blow back on me. Potentially very dangerously.
I am going to be the quiet calm one. You are going to have to let me use my words, bitch.
So she kept ignoring my boundaries until I had to cut her out of my life, and she probably doesn't understand and probably thinks it feels sudden -after 36 long years of bullshit- abrupt and unfair.
But I told her hundreds of times.
I probably should have just screamed at her.
#good stay out of our yard' and he didn't seem to know what to say to that#but other than that I don't think anyone in my adult life has ever seen me turn aggressive at all to the point where people 100% like to#play games of testing my patience and my boundaries because they think my tolerance is infinite#but like I have autistic rage tantrums on both sides of my family and they are just happening inside my head#And somehow it took me until now to realize that being that way was actually -expected- of me by my parents and especially my mother#and that by keeping myself outwardly level headed to be considerate I actually took away whatever signals she can understand#to have empathy for how I must be feeling#I mean it's still all on her#but it makes so much sense of why she's fucking *like this*#And why my sister thinks I hate her just because -she- stopped texting -me-#but that fucking guy#Every time I was like#In my adult life I have screamed at someone ONE whole time and it was 1000% deserved#And I threw heavy objects around one whole other time and in my defense I didn't do it in front of the guy he just felt the ground shaking#heard the thuds and came back to the logs blocking his path because that fucker wouldn't stop parking in our yard after being asked#and then TOLD not to about 10 times because he was acting entitled to just park in our yard and was crushing my plants???#seriously I don't know what his deal was but he wouldn't stop telling me how much the ground shaking scared him like it was supposed#to get my pity like I think this guy took one look at the logs I had just tossed down and was suddenly afraid of this “woman” he was#bullying in their own yard and so my ability to feel bad for scaring him had gone straight out the fucking window#I looked at him and said stop parking in our yard instead of your own you are killing my plants#he'd just fucking be like 'well the last people to live here let us D: :)“ and I'd be like ”good for them?“ ”stop“#and he'd just keep doing it#I was having a week of insomnia and was finally having the best dream#the kind of sex dream you have like twice in your life#and this fucker had just gotten some noisy ass little bike with a spoiler on it#and starts it up right under my window at 3am from IN OUR FUCKING YARD#so I had a nice long anger nap and just after he got home from work and was sleeping in his house#I picked up these chunks of deadwood tree from the back#there was like 3-4 logs that used to be a WHOLEASS fucking oak tree Like these logs were not as heavy as they -looked- but they were still#this fucker deleted half the tags I wrote and I am not retyping that fuck you tumblr so fucking hard
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I gotta say reading all the posts about cr3s ending is interesting to me. But I wanna talk about Vaxleth really quick and how it really isn't a happy ending. If anything, it's worse and that's why I LOVE IT so much, it isn't them falling in love again (kinda). Starting with Vax. It's Vax who's a completely different person at this point, with only a handful of fragments of who he used to be left. How he hasn't been a mortal for 30 years (he's still not), 30 years is still a long time. He still has his duties he willingly does with the Matron, especially now if cr4 (whenever that is) and her also being a mortal again and whatever Matt decides to do with it. How he has to fit in with all this new change, so big. His story is bittersweet tragedy, yet he is walking again with his family, people would call it a miracle. I'd call it a curse, it a sense it IS such a horrifying thing. Having to not only find himself again, but figure out just How he is as well, to navigate how he as now is the same spot Keyleth is in. He'll have to watch his sister, her children, his beloved friends and family including those named in honor of HIM die and maybe that's not a bad thing. Maybe he won't feel as torn as I am writing but he still has to watch all that happen or not even be there 100% of the time because he still has a job to do. He's a walking anomaly. He shouldn't be Here anymore, yet he is. And Keyleth, poor Keyleth deserves to move on. She truly does, but wouldn't, couldn't because Vax won't himself. She was healing, I'm not one to say she should've moved on in those 30 years, it's both a long time and not, especially if you're so deep in grief, but the work was being made toward healing till she saw him and it brought back everything up again. That loved saved her again, yet most likely sent her back right to square one. And here she is with him back and short term of course they're happy, but long term real soon is going to show just how messy things will get. She's also changed, she still holds the same resentment, guilt, sorrow, etc she did. And now him being in front of her? the utter cause of all of her feeling she's been under in so long? Wouldn't spite not just be aimed at the Matrons way but his as well? They both know things won't be different or easy but with everything and I mean EVERYTHING that happened in their relationship I can honestly see them still not being together in the long run if we ever do see them in a one shot or in c4. How does one explain to people? to herself of all, even if she got the one she wanted back. Why isn't she happy? Why does her step still carry the same weight as before when he was gone? Wouldn't it just be better to split up and let that love finally die. It is tragic in a different sense if they did. Or will they actually take the time to rewind and start again? Will they agree it's good for them or not? Especially Keyleth since at a certain point she also will die and Vax will be alone again.
#cr spoilers#keyleth#vax'ildan#oh boy its been a hot minute since i've delved into anything cr related#but watching the final of ExU divergence got me somewhat hooked again#and then that lead to me reading some posts because I sadly do not see myself finishing cr3 ending :') just not as interested#but Vax and Keyleth interest me because genuinely I do NOT think they will work together#Not even because I hate the ending cr3 gave them#but because they just long term Will not#I know Matt discussed with both Liam and Marshia about their ending n such but the point is still somewhat on the table imo#I have the odd pov of seeing as it adding to tragicness of Vox Machina as a whole#Because again just in general he SHOULDN'T be here because his story WAS done#But now he's back and I think its interesting to see where it could go just beyond what cr3 gave us (much like how I felt with Shadowgast)#How do you look someone in the eyes named after you and live up to the stories your dearest loved ones told about you#How do you look your beloved in the eye and not only feel pain you've shouldered for so long before he himself wouldn't let YOU go?#it's messy and I love it smiles#would make a really good miniseries honestly#A one shot would not do that whole situation justice at all#sorry if there's typos i wrote this in a big rush :'D
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Friendship is the most special thing in the world because no award could be give me bigger happiness than jumping around in my room and smiling because my pookie asked me if I wanted to match pfps
#SHES AMAZING I LOVE HER AHHHHH#I hope we manage to find a cute bsd pfp it would be literally my dream#little vent tw!!#it's been so long since I matched pfps last time was with my ex who started being wayyyyy too weird..#and the other time was with a friend who started ghosting me some months later just because I didnt give her enough adopt me pets or smth 💔#and like. her stopping talking to be literally broke me as a person. it was devastanting for like 13yo me#woahhh thank you k. now I have social anxiety and keep dobting whether people really want me there or not#I still have a sort of love hate relationship w her but like its been over 2 years maybe 3 why do I still care abt it sm :<#especially since our other bestie is wayy more affectionate w k than w me it just makes me feel so weird like im sort of a 3rd wheel#but at least the friend im gonna match with is the sweetest person ever and we can be silly together :333#unfortunately we only know eachother from a course so we always have to wait 2 weeks to see eachother#and even tho i still see k almost every day shes pretty different now#but ive been feeling so so happy the last few days since school started and im afraid I might go back to being how I was when she returns#because. I bet my two friends will keep being silly together and ill have to sit w my ex again cuz hes still part of our friend group#I mean hes a nice and funny guy but I figured that a relationship wont work with us. I tried it and I just wanna be friends#I have a lot of fun w him but like in a platonic way#and im afraid he still thinks we should be together#meanwhile my besties keep flirting w eachother like??#I mean its pretty funny as a joke but I cant help but feeling kinda jealous especially because I used to have a huge crush in one of them#talked a bit too much ooopssss#Im just trying to move on but I hope k coming back doesnt start everything over again#anyways!! I love my bestie from the course smmmmmm Im still so so happy :D wish we could see eachother more#random stuff#chaos#friendship#violet rambles
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pretty minor thing to think about, but i find it interesting how chapter 7 is the first chapter illustration to show chizuutan as chizuru (instead of chuutan)






like, i get it’s a flashback chapter, but we hardly got to see her as chizuru in the previous few chapters thus far… maybe we’ll get to see more of her as her true self after the hiyori fight/make up? only future chapters may tell, i guess…
#there’s like 5 weeks to go till chapter 6 is released into the rest of the world and i m n o t r e a d y—#man. chapter 5 still manages to ruin my mood no matter how many times i read it… man.#i was having so much fun with renren and concon and the 3 stooges and th e n.#imagine putting on a (somewhat) perfect/cute act to hide your true self because you know you’re unlovable the way you are#but then someone else runs along and screws up every step of the way without putting on any airs and is adored for it anyway…#i imagine chapter 6 will be much worse. especially since the start of the flashback begins there…#i sincerely hope the flashback ends in chapter 7 bc aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa#though. considering where we are now in the series. i think there’s a chance that vol 2 will come out at the end of december#ch 8 will prolly start to drop somewhere around the later half of november so it seems about right…#b u t if there’s the preorder bonus manga for vol 2 in dec can we have santa girl chuutan in it p l s—#i think we’ll need an incredibly cute bonus feature to lift the mood from whatever the heck’s going on with vol 2’s chapters#bc. idk. im sensing some self hatred with this one chizuchan… it’s as though she can only love herself if she’s dolled up as chuutan…#like. even in her aizo self-insert delusions she’s thinking of herself as chuutan… maybe im reading too much into this. hm.#but then again she even puts on makeup when she’s at home in her own room…#w a i t a sec what if this wack behaviour only came about bc of what’s about to be revealed in the flashbacks. wait. no. w h a t if—#i hope manga chizuchan will be able to love herself properly soon… we all love you chizuchan~~~~~~~~~~#this. too. is our oshi no—#dammit why is something set in the same universe as the [redacted] anime making me feel things??? i hate itttttttttt#anyways. wh. what if one of the h10w turns out to be an anime adaptation of the chizuchan manga#and they’re just waiting on. like. the final vol to announce it.#it’d make the most sense for an anime series at this point… since chizuchan is marketable and it’s set in the same anime verse#so there’s no inconsistencies to retcon and such…#but!!!! most importantly!!!!!! we’d be able to see animated renren and concon!!!!!!!#…but something like this will only appear in my delusions huh~~~~~~~~~~~~~~#mousou dake no kawaikute gomen anime#ok that’s enough thinking for the day; back to kimikawaii mv g o o d b y e~~~~#chizuutan chizpost
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You know, when I was first researching neurodivergence (and autism and ADHD in particular) and wondering if I was, in fact, neurodivergent, I brought my conclusions to my mom and she said:
"I mean, you're gifted, right? So you already are neurodivergent???"
So here's to her (kinda) and her words. Giftedness is a neurodivergence, in my opinion. From what I've seen, a lot of the traits overlap with common autistic and/or ADHD traits too, especially regarding overexcitabilities, and a lot of researchers talking about the topic describe giftedness with the same kind of "your brain is just made differently" and "you're just wired differently" language as they use for other neurodivergent conditions. But I also say this because I've seen some gifted people who, while struggling with some "autistic/ADHD traits," don't have all the traits necessary for an autism or ADHD diagnosis. Giftedness is a label for them that encompasses the struggles they have without saying that they don't struggle enough or forcing them to try to fit into a mold that isn't them. And I get that; when I was first questioning, I didn't think I had enough autistic traits to count for a diagnosis either, so I took comfort in a "gifted" label. (Not to say that all gifted people are just autistic people and/or people with ADHD that don't realize, or that all gifted people are just people who don't have enough traits for a diagnosis! That was just the case for me and the folks I've been around, but I've also heard the case of it not being that.)
But if I am gifted, then I also have autism. A lot of my struggles are, honestly, just better described by autism than just by a byproduct of giftedness. My struggles with people and with "being too much," my sensory differences (and yes, sometimes issues), my stimming, and some of my executive dysfunction all sound like autistic traits to me more than a mix of psychomotor and sensual overexcitabilities and a whole bunch of coincidental byproducts of my being gifted and hanging out with nongifted peers. Don't get me wrong; based on my family history, background, and traits, I honestly probably am gifted lol. But it's not just that.
So this is me saying that if the people around you are saying that you're just gifted, you're free to look for other, perhaps better explanations for your feelings and experiences. But if you are just gifted, you're still free to call yourself neurodivergent! My gifted traits lead to me feeling just as ostracized sometimes as my autistic ones, so who am I to police that label?
#I hope this isn't controversial I'd hate for a bunch of folks to come here and start arguing /srs#legitimately hate just the idea of having to deal with that#I just like to talk about myself and part of myself is this#I'd say “one of the rare times this isn't about being nonhuman” but I'm trying to keep this an open blog for my thoughts#since if I make it a “nonhuman blog” then once I stop fixating on this and it becomes another part of my identity#I'll forget about this blog and just vanish#and that's already happened once with a vocaloid blog so I'm trying to prevent it#I just want to stay away from toxicity or discohrse cause that certainly wouldn't help my life or mental health#I made this blog to help me feel better not worse lol#anywayssss#actually gifted#since I heard of someone asking gifted folks to use this tag like they do “actually autistic” and “actually ADHD” ones#I hope you'll take this post#I might post more about giftedness in the future so I'll use that one if I do :D#intellectual giftedness#actually autistic#also ADHD but that'd be a lot to mention here#just know that's why I said *some* of my executive dysfunction#if my experience feels off that might be why#autism#oh and here's the “I probably got something wrong about giftedness go do your own research please (I promise it's fun!)#and if you are gifted I'm sorry if I got stuff majorly wrong“ disclaimer#alright NOW it's time for breakfast XD#gifted kid syndrome#gifted kid burnout
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GUESS WHO JUST FOUND OUT ABOUT GRAYSCALE WALLY AND IS NOW SADGE?!
HERE BE THE DOODLES ENJOY.
Grayscale Welcome Home AU from: @sweetest-honeybee
#demon-mochi art#welcome home#welcome home arg#wally darling#wally welcome home#welcome home fanart#wally#wally darling welcome home#welcome home wally#I wanted to try my hand at drawing some AUs#asked friends for suggestions and they said grayscale AU#I love and hate them for it#the au is sooo interesting but I personally don’t like it when Wally is sadge~#he’s my happy bouncing baby boi ya’know?#TLDR: love the au - personally don’t like drawing sad Wally#btw if you have a AU you know and like tell me about them! :D I still want to draw more AU Wally’s~!
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I debated how seriously I wanted to respond, or if I wanted to,and decided fuck it I may as well.
if the song HYPERFIXATION is your first (comprehensible to you) exposure to the concept and striking a massive chord then uh,,,
I recommend looking up an adhd symptom list, contemplating, then turning around and looking up an autism symptom list too
(and coincidentally understanding that overstimulation includes getting fatigued of the big social event 3x faster than everyone else did and standing in the corner silent and zoning out, with or without the assurance this will be fixed if/when you can get into a dark quiet room, because co-morbidity/similarities are a bitch and hyperfixations a frequent part of autism too, this explanation being for every viewers benefit not just you)
like if this is an overstep on my part mb, genuinely just carry on, but hyperfixation as the song defines... (prodigal skill with a critical inability to direct focus on Any Task Ever ["A+ but you're late" "(bet you'll tell me not to make excuses...)"], required or not- from dishes to homework to genuinely fun other things that just presently don't entertain- unless an ideas owning every free thought)
It isn't just a little bit adhd, that's Very adhd (and autism). If you or followers reading this are relating hardcore and haven't entertained the chance before.... Consider.
tbh you don't need to post this one if you don't wanna. In addition to the chance you're already diagnosed and I'm preaching to the choir, there's just this reaction one develops when you see people go "haha i do that :)" to symptoms that are so identifiable. Emoji/music anon out ✌️, remember to take anons and armchair diagnoses with massive piles of salt 🧂🧂🧂
DAY 343 - CONSIDER (Click for better quality)

I do indeed relate to this song very heavily, you're right about that. Especially the whole 'cannot think about anything else at all ever 100%' type of hyperfixations, it's definitely recontextualized alot of conversations I've had before speaking about my own thought processes and ability to focus with others. This has been an ongoing thing throughout my life so far though, which means I've actually considered long enough to have an official assessment scheduled in about a month from now. (Ironic timing, I know.) I've kinda been on a recent trip of just.. getting stuff officially diagnosed after experiencing very clear symptoms for my entire life (one of the benefits of being self aware enough to keep track of certain things). At this point I've already got a laundry list of general mental disorders and possibly psychical (ain't getting the blood work for it for awhile so Dr.'s just kinda metronoming between either arthritis or some really intense psychosomatics), so I wouldn't be surprised if ADHD or autism were a thing for me aswell.
Don't worry about any boundary stuff, I've been contemplating and thinking about things like this for so long that it's become a relatively comfortable subject for me now. That being said, I hope you like the art, and have a wonderful next 24 hours, regardless of your current time. :]
#Although I'm pretty sure intermittent bouts of psychosis isn't apart ADHD or autism or any stuff I already have-#So I've probably got even more stuff to be diagnosed with! yayyyyyyy 🙂#Sarcasm by the way if you couldn't tell. I hate people being like 'just have some pills who cares!'#NO. I just wanna know what specifically is wrong with me- not just take away my quirkiness! Its a natural human repellent and I love it for#Oh and also-#tw#general tw#Not sure if it's needed or not but this does discuss certain things that could be a bit triggering.#Stay safe y'all! :D#dailyghostlygoob#dp
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#spn#2x03#*#idk why but this reminds me so much of that passage in my dark vanessa where at the very end she says -i just really need this to be#a love story/bc if its not a love story than what is it/its my life/this has been my whole life esp when u look at his convo w jo#[and to an extent sam] later on where he says that he started this career so young /because/his father pushed him into it#and its too late for him to do anything else. and its fascinating to me how much dean kind of really hates this life. i mean he does enjoy#some of it to an extent but as the show goes on he says over and over [more than sam - who basically ran away to get away from this]#that they should stop and let go and just be done with it and its obvi difficult for dean NOT to have a lot of mixed feelings abt this life#<and a big part of it is that he wants to stop bc sam is in danger/what their dad asked him to do etc etc#anywayyss this is all so interesting to me esp how dean chooses to describe it🙃🙃a secret world shared only by him and his father#bc no matter what hunting and this life is a secret world but john has somehow made it even more secretive and private for dean and sam#like when gordon says earlier 'you know how hunters talk' and D and S are like uh...no....#so its like no matter what hunting is a private thing dean shares w his father and its so intimate and secretive that its his whole life#and therefore has to mean something
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antis: "UGH can proshippers PLEASE stop interacting with minors? 🙄"
me: "i dunno, can minors stop interacting with me?/gen/srs"
#scary crane rambles#not fandom#proship#proshippers please interact#anti anti#anti-anti#antis dni#woke up this morning to like 600 million jillion new notifications. and i was like ''oh sweet! people like me! :D''#and then i look at their accounts AND LIKE 90% OF THEM ARE 14 YEARS OLD#i hate making those stupid ''uuu minors dni!!'' posts but like. for real how many times do i have to say it. i dont want kids here.#like. if you really want these kids to not be here then maybe teach them to stay in their lane?#its a travesty apparently when a proshipper accidentally likes a kid's post but its TOTALLY fine when a kid just. ignores the 18+ sign?#like.. if youre gonna make a huge tantrum-throwing deal about it at least be consistent#these arent babies. these are highschool students. they should know better. they can read.#also. FOR TRANSPARENCY. i do actually read people's godawful webdesign-disaster carrds and check their ages before interacting.#so if i have interacted with a kid's post at some point it was probably because they didn't list their age anywhere#(also not everyones gonna read your horrible barely-readable sites btw. just preparing you for real life in the real world)
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I’m not giving the actual ask any attention by answering it, but to the person who sent me a hate ask calling me ableist for preferring Thornton over Matty, I prefer Patti’s attitude and overall character, and my dislike/neutrality for Matty has nothing to do with her disability. I actually love Meredith Eaton in her other media! She’s a queen! Hope this helps! :D
#and also her name is Thornton. not thirnton#some hate asks are actually so horrible but this is just so funny to me#I have neutral opinions towards Matty because I don’t think her personality is as well suited to the team as Thornton was#they have very different attitudes. and I just prefer Patti’s#both Sandrine and Meredith are absolutely gorgeous. and they’re both freaking queens#also- just to add insult to injury! I too am disabled and I know exactly how it feels for someone to discriminate against you for that!#(I’m severely sight impaired for the moots wondering)#so I hope THAT helps too :D#s things
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