#I know she’ll live but still | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

ubejamjar · 6 months ago

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so this is it then-- the end of my story i don't want to die but... what more can i do?

#he said not to mope in her room so she moped on the stairs; got’em #shadowbringers spoilers #shb spoilers #mostly in these tags so avert ye eyes #husband was home today so we jumped back into the msq #we paused right after mt gulg and #the hopelessness here #Ajisai is a goddamn survivor but this— this is beyond her #there’s nothing she can do to save herself; she has no tricks or resources left; she is teetering on the edge of giving up completely #I know she’ll live but still #my idea is that surviving this will see Ajisai lose her self-hatred induced inhibitions #not lose per say but loosen her inhibitions #ajisaijar #gposejar #shbjar #ffxiv screenshots #gposers #ffxiv gpose

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cassandracain52 · 5 months ago

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Reverse trope

where instead of the Bats forgetting that they’re adopted (something actual adoptees do on occasion and is hilarious) they forget that some of them *cough Damian cough* aren’t

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Jason in the heat of a probably ridiculous argument: Yeah well YOU’RE adopted!

Tim just as invested in said argument: So are YOU! We all are!

Damian who had previously been quietly watching this unfold while he drank his tea: Actually I’m not

Tim and Jason who didn’t realize he was there but are already DoneTM: …… Damian continuing to sip his tea entirely unbothered: :)

Damian: Because I’m not an orphan-

Jason: ok, yoU KNOW WHAT-

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or like in their group texts (that we know they have thanks to Nightwing (2016) #79)

*Steph changed the group chat name to “Bruce Wayne’s Personal Orpanage”*

Jason: Really?

Steph: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Steph: It’s the truth Damian: Both my parents are very much alive

Steph: Shhh you don’t count

Cass: Mine too Duke: Technically so are mine

Barbara: I still have a dad so there’s that

Steph: YOU GUYS ARE RUINING THE JOKE

Tim: Stephanie aren’t BOTH of your parents alive???

Steph: KNOW WHAT? FINE

*Steph changed the group chat name to “The Technicality Police”*

Tim: well that’s more accurate at least

Steph: :)

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Damian in his 10th argument with Tim of the day: That’s- this is-

Tim in full Antagonizing Big Brother mode: I’m listening

Damian -a Gen Z and best friend to Jon Kent- extremely frustrated: This is such Motherless behavior!

Tim taken aback: [voice cracking] W-what-?

Damian who didn’t mean to say that but doubling down anyway because his bloodline doesn’t believe in admitting mistakes: THIS! This is such Motherless behavior!

The rest of the family who is also motherless: :O

Cass whose been spending way too much time with Meme Queen Stephanie Brown and not involved in the argument but finding it entertaining regardless: [nodding along seriously] Facts

Tim: [visibly betrayed] CASS WHAT-

A video copy of the interaction gets sent out anonymously to the entire family. Barbara is the prime suspect but there is no proof as of yet (and they will never find any)

Steph, Cass, and Duke continue to respond “Motherless behavior” everytime one of the bats does something they deem questionable/insane. It is said often

It only stops when one night in the middle of patrol. Batman is in full Dark Knight mode (possibly in the middle of threatening someone) and descends from the ceiling into the middle of a warehouse drug deal, dark cape billowing out behind him-

and Steph just automatically whispers “Motherless behavior” forgetting her com was still very much on

She immediately realizes what she said and frantically apologizes but it’s too late.

Bruce just- Blue Screens. Completely stunned into silence

Dick -who was unfortunate enough to be the one teamed up with Batman tonight- is fighting for his life to choke back his laughter

Jason doesn’t even try to stop his and has collapsed to his knees from lack of air from how hard he’s laughing. Cass try’s half heartedly patting his back to help to no avail

The criminals are terrified into surrender from The Red Hood just laughing hysterically at seemingly nothing while Batman just Stands There

Damian ends up being the only one still functioning enough to continue arresting everyone, though he is privately amused and strangely proud

Tim and Barbara have saved both the com recordings and cowl footage to at least three different servers and sent it to absolutely everyone before Batman even recovers

Duke finds out second hand the next morning and is furious he missed the chance to see it in person. He declares he is moving to the nightshift so it doesn’t happen again. (He is all talk and goes to bed by 9 pm)

Bruce bans the phrase for life and promises swift and server punishment to anyone who dares to use it again

#Like it’d be so funny #Imagine them on mothers day #Damian at unnecessary volumes: I AM LEAVING TO GO TO VISIT MY MOTHER NOW #Damian: WHERE SHE LIVES.#His brothers on their way to the cemetery or smth: ._.#Damian still going regardless: BECAUSE SHE IS ALIVE #I just know Damian “Certified Mama’s Boy” Wayne would be such a menace about it #And Duke Babs Steph and Cass would so help fan the flames #batfam #dc comics #fanfiction #headcanon #chat fic #Can you tell I read them often #And yes adoptees forget they’re adopted #I have a friend who has on multiple occasions started to tell me about something that “ran in the family”/something in her family history #Before she’ll remember she’s not actually blood related #someone has probably already done this #But I still thinks it’s very funny #No I don’t think Jon would say motherless behavior to someone #But I do think he’d know the phrase and teach Damian #I just imagine he educates him on all the Gen Z lingo don’t ask why #crack post #100% a joke dont take it seriously

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hecksupremechips · 4 months ago

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Thinking of vlr Akane is so conflicting cuz on one hand I’m so upset that she doesn’t ever get a moment to just rest and enjoy being alive again I’m upset that she just gets deeper and deeper into this role she’s built for herself and she loses her humanity and will never ever be that girl who died in the incinerator. But on the other hand, I need her to get so, so much worse I need her to be so obsessed with perfection she has this unique ability to change the course of history and she will burn everything and everyone to the ground in the blink of an eye if it means she can "reset" and get a perfect timeline and I desperately need her to never be satisfied with anything because really, is there anything that’s worth all the damage she’s caused?

#zero escape #akane kurashiki #virtues last reward #yeahhhhh just having so many thoughts about akane and sigma and junpei and yeah im screaming eyes bloodshot #i want akane to just like post 999 just do silly shit with aoi get a cat be a gamer try to heal the best she can #and i want her to be so evil i think theres still some crimes she hasnt committed yet she should do those #i really really really want her and junpei to just beat the shit out of each other in a boxing ring. specifically post vlr #need them being old as shit throwing chairs everyone is cheering #and damn like vlr akane just cant agree with junpei on his philosophy that a life with pain is still a life worth living cuz then thatd mean #everything she did in 999 was all for naught like to accept even the bad timelines where she died as valuable...#thats a kick to the dick especially when she fought so hard to live and how her death was so unfair #except she was just a scared kid with no choice then. now whats her excuse #i just want it to be possible you know? possible that akane didnt need to do this and she couldve been happy #cuz yeah the trauma would be horrible but surely itd be better than the trauma she has now since she took that dive #i wonder if she knows that no matter what she does she’ll never erase her trauma and eventually she will have to face it #or if she actually believes she can figure it all out and win the perfect timeline and magical mental stability will happen #basically akane is avoiding therapy soooooo hard but then again who would even be her therapist #no one can possibly understand her...right?

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rarilight · 5 months ago

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one day I’m actually going to grab everything I went through last year and pour it into a raritwi breakup fic where they don’t get back together and I don’t do my usual thing where I hint there’s hope for them

And I think that will probably be a very emotional and good fic but also it’ll probably be incredibly crushing more than anything Ive ever done so honestly maybe we should all be grateful I haven’t written it yet

#I’ve been listening to JP Saxe’s ‘A Little Bit Yours’#and i can feel it clawing at me #‘all i do is get over you and I’m so bad at it’#‘maybe if I’d said the right things it never would have gone this way’#‘but maybe that’s the problem cause I still kinda think it was up to me’#‘when I never could have made you stay’#rarity moves away from ponyville because everything is twilight #and she sees twilight just lock it out block it out put it away in a box and move on #and rarity can’t #and she tries #and tries #and a thousand miles away #in the dark of the night #the silence staring her down #she has to live with the idea that twilight got over her like that #that twilight probably already let go long long ago #and yet rarity is there knowing still she’d kill if twilight asked her to #and there’s no victory in that #no poetry or muse #no beauty #it’s just sad and pathetic and a masochism and so self centered #to cling to the hope that twilight still loves her or needs her when she knows it’s not true and it never will be #and the element of generosity wonders when her core got twisted #when generosity and caring and giving became erasing yourself for some pony else #and maybe one day it’ll stop #maybe one day she’ll be fine #but for now #she quietly makes peace with a simple fact #that even if twilight sparkle isn’t hers anymore and never will be again #at least for now rarity is still a little bit twilight’s

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quietwingsinthesky · 7 months ago

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little amelia pond with her missing tooth and mels with at least one band-aid always stuck on her somewhere and rory following them both around with his first aid kit, the one the doctor gave him after seeing the child one that he had before that was more toy than anything

#one must imagine a young river with a star wars themed band-aid that rory put on a scrape on her cheek #you know even after amy grows up. and she will. the doctor still sees that missing tooth when she smiles. of course its long since been #replaced by her adult tooth. but he sees that little gap still.#also goddd something about mels being so reckless with her own body in ways rory and amelia just. aren’t.#because this is what she is. she’s a weapon and she’s meant to be in danger and she can *take it*. they can’t.#mels knows death can’t touch her the way it can them. so she won’t let it dance with anyone but her.#and the doctor. she’ll gladly let him put himself between them and danger. i wonder if she hopes one day it’ll strike him down. so that she #will never have to. i wonder if him doing that only makes her wish that harder. because how many times now has he saved her life. saved #amelia and rory’s lives.#oh little mels i love you so much #amelia pond au

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itspileofgoodthings · 7 months ago

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Porfiry telling Raskolnikov that at least he was honest and in one bound took the furthest leap to put his theory to the test of actual action——

#Taylor believing a man who is obviously lying to her #like. it’s fascinating to me how they’ll say anything to her and she’ll be like ‘okay let’s go’#she’s never read Jane Austen and it shows. but that’s okay because she’s the character in an Austen novel #she has no sense of self-preservation she has no common sense when it comes to love #and the reason I have endless patience for that is because she IS different. she is extraordinary. she is WEIRD. she’s so needy #so angry so fragile so stupid so brilliant so completely helpless #like the bolter———I can’t even LOOK at it right now #because you know she was like this since she was 5 and SHE knows it #just so. Different. so strange. I mean she ruled her family with an iron fist from the age of 11 #and her packaging is so basic and she she had so much access to everything anyone could want #so there are none of the usual marks of someone being so Different #but like. people HATED her from day one. you know her own strength of personality was drawing out many people’s hatred or envy #and she’s so helpless in her own personality because she can never change #like thank you aimee? or whatever? heck yeah there was some girl who bullied her and brutalized her on the playground #and you know it devastated Taylor from day one and still does #and it’s just. I don’t know how people can’t see that someone with that extraordinary set of gifts #wouldn’t also suffer in such an extraordinary way #and ways that elicit so much scorn and non-sympathy because people are unsettled and jealous and annoyed by her #because she WILL find a way to win #but isn’t that proof enough that she is the very OPPOSITE OF NORMAL #it’s why people have to be like ‘oh she sold her soul to the devil for this success.’ or whatever the psy-op spy thing is #because there’s no human way to explain her success if she really were as basic/talentless as people say #ugh this is all so incoherent and irritating and I’m so sorry but I just. I cannot explain how protective my heart is of her #and all the many many mistakes she’s made and the prisons she’s made for herself because she’s LIVING the tragedy #of never having denied herself one time/getting everything she wants #and discovering the poison at the bottom of everything she reached for with desperate hands #like. I love her so much and I am so protective of her because she is so helpless and she is getting shot in the face every time #and she feels every blow!#whew I need to turn off reblogs and will probably delete but I just #this album is all of her spilled out and people DO hate to see it because a lot of people hate her!!!!

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the-wild-wolves-around-you · 2 days ago

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welp….

woke up at 5, saw the news, cried in bed for a while, then tried to get up and do work but just ended up calling out

in 2016, i still worked in a small physical office, so my coworkers and i just spent the entire day outside chain smoking cigs and commiserating together

unfortunately i now work alone from home (and no longer smoke cigs) so im just gonna get real high and play fallout 4 to dissociate while I wait for my partner to get back into town this afternoon 🤙🏼

i fuckin hate this country 🖕🏼

#and yes i live in a predominately blue state atm #but my entire family and a lot of friends live in texas and part of me feels like i can never go back now #and i always joke about never wanting to go back… but the reality of not being able to is very different #it was my home for 20+ yrs #and as annoying as my family can be it sucks living 16+ hrs away from them sucks #my abuela who raised me is also 93 and has been begging me to move home for years and now i cant #and who knows if she’ll still be around in 2028 #ugh crying again time to green out ✌🏼#personal

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mars-ipan · 2 months ago

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i have my first infusion tomorrow and the Anxiety is kicking in and i am trying so so hard to keep it calm

#marzi speaks #marzivents #EASY boy down boy it’s okay #i’m stressed bc i don’t know if i should bring any paperwork. or medication #(i’m gonna bring some of my meds in a purse just in case)#i don’t know what questions my rheum’s gonna ask #i don’t know what i’m going to do in terms of getting food #will the hospital provide a meal or will i have to request it from outside #i don’t know if my mom will be with me the whole time or just drop me off or if she’ll stay for some of it and then leave #i don’t even know what the infusion center looks like #all i know is that i’m gonna sit with a needle in my arm for 4-6 hours and that i should respond well to it #and my anxiety stems from Not Knowing i HATEEEE not knowing things #uuuuggghhhh it’ll be fine. it’ll be fine. the staff at that hospital are lovely and used to helping stressed kids #so they can help if i have an anxiety attack #and it wouldn’t be embarrassing bc i went through a traumatic experience and these people help people for a living #so it’s gonna be fine. but i hate that i don’t know how it works #will i be in my own little room for a little bit? i imagine not. is there any privacy?#or am i just going to be sitting with a bunch of other people getting chemo?#i don’t KNOW. i don’t know and i really don’t like it #but i need to go to sleep soon. but i still have this stupid insomnia even though i’m tired #probs gonna have to warn my mom that i’m gonna be a little neurotic tomorrow. bc i hate this anticipation actually it makes me feel awful #and like with the follow-up with my rheumatologist that’s also gonna be happening #what kind of questions will she ask? what kind of things will i need to know? ohhh god #ok deep breaths. relax. it is late and i am tired and therefore more prone to catastrophizing #i do know this doctor. i know she is kind and patient. this is not a test. it’s going to be okay #gotta remind myself that it’s gonna be okay. do my cyclical breathing and try to relax physically #the mental will follow as the fatigue sets in #okay. okay. we’re a little calmer. still not Plussed but we’re okay #gonna try to get sleepy now

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camgoloud · 11 months ago

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i simply feel that if you burn shit in your roommate’s skillet you should then feel the obligation to be the one who scrapes it out and cleans up

#sometimes i think about the fact that i’m literally the only person who’s cleaned the kitchen in this place for the entire year and a half #i’ve lived here and i get. a little pissed off #i’ve tried being polite and bringing up the problem without explicitly pointing fingers by leaving cleaning products (which i bought)#out on the counters and sending a text in the group chat like ‘hey! 😊 i got these wipes for us! i think that all of us could #use these a little more often so that the kitchen doesn’t get so gross!’ but it seems that everyone either has no sense of shame or just #genuinely doesn’t mind living in filth for the periods between the marathon cleaning sessions i do every few weekends when i have the time #one of the guys who lives downstairs will just walk right by me cleaning up on his way to the fridge and pretend he can’t see me #which is still better than the other one (the one who just burned shit in my skillet) who once saw me cleaning and asked if he could help #and when i got all pleased and asked if he could maybe take the trash out for me while i was cleaning counters (a small and simple task!#when he’d literally asked me if there was anything he could do!) he visibly deflated. said ‘well i’m not really around here much [so it’s #not my trash in there etc.]’ and wandered off. without doing anything #like. HELLO???? you could have just been like the other guy and pretended you didn’t see me doing all the work if this was how you were #going to be about it #but i guess he wanted to feel good about himself having offered/expected me to just say ‘oh no thanks i love being your housekeeper 😊’#tbh i really need to be more assertive and be like ‘hey guys i’m sick of this’ and maybe. bring up the Sexism of it all. because.#you know. the whole situation feels pretty gendered #was complaining about all this to an irl friend the other day and she said i should start a chore chart but i don’t want to be responsible #for maintaining the chore chart either! take on the mental load of managing the housework and also turning into Resident Bitch for asking #men to do things for me. you know. there is simply no way out here #there is another woman who lives here as well but unfortunately i don’t think she’ll be much help in forcing the issue because. she doesn’t #clean shit either!#actually in the days since she moved in the shower drain in our bathroom has become horrendously clogged which. well. i mean not to point #fingers but one of us has got about two inches of hair and the other has got a foot and a half. so #i also simply feel that if you clog a drain you should be the one to unclog it but i’ll probably do that as well #sorry for the massive tag rant by the way i really shouldn’t make myself out to be some kind of martyr because i’m not particularly neat #myself but…. ooooh god if the bar isn’t all the way down in hell #anyway i just did a whole bunch of dishes but i left that one skillet to soak passive-aggressively overnight #i don’t think the aggression will come across though because i think he genuinely won’t even pay attention to the fact that it’s still #dirty and i’ll end up being the one to clean it tomorrow #caseyposting

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theres-whump-in-that-nebula · 10 months ago

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”I don’t want to give Jehovah’s organization a black eye so I have to suffer in silence. Oh the pain! The pain!”

Mhm. Have you ever considered that Jehovah’s organization has given you not one, but two proverbial black eyes, broken ribs, and a concussion over the years; and maybe you should expose them for the abusers they are, if only enough to get yourself help to heal from the abuse you’ve experienced? You’ve got Stockholm syndrome bad, and you’re making it everyone else’s problem. You cared about your abusers so much that you abused me in their name, just because I wanted no part of their organization. Even if I didn’t seek out apostate resources, I wouldn’t have needed them to make my decision to leave because of how much you vented about them to me since I was about five years old. Did you just expect me to stay here and take the abuse like you did? I’m better than that; I’m better than you.

#exjw #ex cult #I woke up and he was venting about it to my mom very loudly so I just went “fuck that”#I could’ve went somewhere in the house to eat but I specifically chose the 20 degrees F screen room so that both of them know #I’d rather freeze than hear one more second of his venting knowing that he is still refusing to get help #Mom wants to watch the convention? Glorious. I’m not leaving my room until he’s done talking. I will not be her deus ex machina #I will not be her excuse to end the conversation so she can watch the convention with me #She can sit there and listen to it; and maybe she’ll grow some reasoning ability and realize #the religion she so piously subscribes herself to is splitting us apart and killing her husband #and maybe she’ll begin to take his triggers seriously and not make passive-aggressive remarks about how she wants to listen #to all the comments and not mute it when an elder who sexually harassed him begins speaking #and maybe my dad will grow some common sense and realize that continuing to go to meetings will ensure he is in a state of trauma #for all eternity #and maybe — just maybe — they will realize that everything they read in my diaries was right #and that they were absolutely positively 100% in the wrong for screaming at me about their contents #and apologize for what they’ve done to each other and to me #But that’s wishful thinking because [first name] “I’m more stubborn than you” [last name] will hold out until it kills him #and my mom is ex-Catholic and convinced the JWs are entirely truthful just because she prefers the possibility of death over hellfire #You can’t make this shit up #I live in a madhouse with crazy people

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70won · 10 months ago

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despite however many lovers johanna has in her lifetime, at the end of the day they never last. johanna never has a lifelong partner and part of it is because she will purposely push away someone she’s gotten too close to. after systematically losing everyone who’s ever meant anything to her, the fear and trauma never truly heal. it leads to many rounds of heartbreak but johanna doesn’t take it as being lonely. she comes to terms that it’s better to have loved and lost than not to have ever loved and the platonic love surrounding her is enough to keep her cup full

#there are certain things that I don’t think she ever heals from #and this is one of them #every single person she cared about was wiped out #and that left such a deep wound that she’ll self sabotage if she needs to #make someone she loves HATE her if she needs to #but she wouldn’t be able to live in constant fear if she settled down with someone #at some point in life I think she does try #she gets married and it spirals quickly and chaotically and is the most explosive breakup she goes through #post marriage she’s wrought with night terrors and it destabilizes their marriage so quickly #she gets so vile and toxic and insufferable to be around because fearful johanna is like a snapping animal #she only knows how to lash out and that’s how it crumbles #most of her platonic circle is also victors #and in a new panem she definitely believes that victors are untouchable but their extended circle still may not be safe ever

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granhairdo · 4 months ago

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guess who’s almost 26 bitchesssssss

#I mean in like a month but still #my soul isn’t 26 tho #it’s been pretty much sharted on for centuries #and it’s all finally catching up with me #this life is my last hoorah mfs #then im peacin out for GOOD #ive lived here TOO LONG #DONE!‼️!#I have so many memories that aren’t even mine but i know they are so im glad it’s finally OVER #im ready to go just close my eyes then wake up as a woodland cryptid #I entrusted this account to my sister if i die when this site still exists #so I’m sure she’ll let y’all know #so if so go look for me #I’m riding a hackney in a swampy woodland #you’ll know

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bundlebrent · 1 year ago

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Me? Start a book at 8 and realize at 2am I read it all? Couldn’t be possible

#I’m so going to regret it in the morning #we’re moving my grandma #hopefully I’ll be fully awake by the time the hard part starts #for me anyway #I’m in charge of taking her for a walk about while they move her main set up #since she’s got to be in her wheelchair anyways she might as well see a bit more of the building she’s been living in #hopefully on the assisted living side she’ll see more people even if she still generally refuses to leave her room #for long er than a short walk #and doesn’t want to meet or get to know anyone there #I’m quite confident I know more people than her #i should sleep #I’m definitely being a dimbass by delaying it further

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