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idkanymark · 4 days ago

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[Give me my Romeo]

haechan x f!reader | theater club | romeo and juliet au

INTRO: What started as a rivalry on the stage became something neither of you expected. Cast as Romeo and Juliet in your university’s theater production, you and Haechan were forced to confront not only the tensions of your roles but the growing spark between you. What happens when the lines between acting and reality blur, and the final curtain brings more than just applause?

wc: 6.1k

NOTE: I never read Romeo and Juliet in English so I had to search online for some parts of the act, sorry if there's any mistake🙏

----

The dimly lit auditorium buzzed with nervous energy as students filtered in, clutching scripts and notebooks. The annual play auditions at NCTU’s theater club were legendary, and this year, they’d chosen the timeless tragedy Romeo and Juliet. Everyone wanted a role, but only two parts truly mattered—Romeo and Juliet.

You sat in the second row, scanning the script you’d practically memorized. The club director, Ms. Lee, paced near the stage with her clipboard, her sharp gaze flicking over the students as if she were sizing up a battlefield.

And then, he walked in.

Lee Donghyuck—or Haechan, as he insisted everyone call him—strode into the auditorium like he owned it. He was NCTU’s resident golden boy: charming, talented, and insufferably arrogant. His honey-brown hair caught the light as he ran a hand through it, grinning at his entourage of sycophants trailing behind him.

Your stomach churned. “Of course he’s here” you muttered under your breath.

“Why wouldn’t he be?” your best friend Yeri whispered back, glancing at him. “You know he’s going for Romeo”

“And I’m going for Juliet” you said, straightening your back. “Let’s just hope the universe has some sense of mercy and doesn’t pair me with him.”

The rivalry between you and Haechan was practically the stuff of legends. Ever since he transferred to NCTU last year and stole the spotlight in the spring musical, you’d been at odds. He was talented—you couldn’t deny that—but his cocky attitude and penchant for pushing your buttons made him unbearable.

“Alright, everyone, settle down!” Ms. Lee clapped her hands, silencing the chatter. “As you know, today we’re auditioning for the lead roles. I’ll be pairing you up for readings, and I want to see chemistry. Convince me you’re star-crossed lovers.”

That would be an easy task unless your partner is Haechan.

Ms. Lee called names, pairing students for the preliminary rounds. You watched as one by one, hopefuls took the stage, some stumbling over their lines, others showing promise. Then, the inevitable happened.

“Y/N and Haechan, you’re up” Ms. Lee announced, barely glancing up from her clipboard.

Your jaw clenched. You glanced at Yeri, who gave you an apologetic shrug, and stood, smoothing your shirt. Haechan was already swaggering toward the stage, his signature smirk plastered across his face.

“Try not to ruin this for me” he said under his breath as you climbed the stairs.

“Funny, I was about to say the same to you” you shot back, taking your place center stage.

The scene was Act I, Scene 5—the fateful moment when Romeo and Juliet meet at the Capulet’s masquerade ball. Ms. Lee explained the context briefly before nodding for you to begin.

Haechan started, his voice smooth and melodic. “If I profane with my unworthiest hand this holy shrine, the gentle fine is this: My lips, two blushing pilgrims, ready stand to smooth that rough touch with a tender kiss”

You suppressed an eye roll and focused on delivering your line. “Good pilgrim, you do wrong your hand too much, which mannerly devotion shows in this; for saints have hands that pilgrims’ hands do touch, and palm to palm is holy palmers’ kiss”

The words felt electric in the air, but not because of any real connection between you and Haechan. It was tension—raw, palpable tension that made your voice sharper and his gaze more intense. You could feel Ms. Lee watching closely, her pen hovering over the clipboard.

When the scene ended, there was a beat of silence before Ms. Lee spoke. “Interesting. Thank you, both of you. Next pair, please.”

As you descended the stage, you caught Haechan’s smirk. “Not bad” he said. “For someone who’s clearly out of her depth.”

“Oh, please” you shot back. “You’re just lucky I’m carrying this performance.”

“We’ll see who’s carrying who when the roles are announced” he replied, walking off with that maddening confidence.

Two days later…

The cast list was posted. A small crowd had already gathered around the bulletin board when you arrived, and you pushed your way through, heart pounding. Your eyes scanned the sheet until you found it:

Romeo: Lee Donghyuck

Juliet: Y/N

You stared at the names, the reality sinking in like a stone in water. Your breath caught in your throat.

“No way” you whispered, your mind reeling.

Yeri appeared beside you, looking over your shoulder. “Well, looks like fate’s got a twisted sense of humor” she said, though there was a hint of amusement in her voice. "You and Haechan... this is gonna be something"

From behind you, a familiar voice spoke, smooth as ever. “Looks like we’re stuck together, Juliet”

You turned to find Haechan grinning down at you, his expression equal parts smug and amused.

“This is going to be a disaster” you muttered, half to yourself.

“Or a masterpiece” he countered, winking.

Yeri groaned as she read the list. “Great. Now I have to hear you complain about him for the next two months” She glanced over at Haechan, who was already swaggering off, completely unfazed. “Can’t believe you’re actually going to have to kiss him on stage. You okay with that?”

You shot her a side-eye, feeling your cheeks warm slightly at the thought. “No. I’m not okay with it. At all” you said, your tone biting more than you meant it to. “But it’s not like I have a choice”

Yeri smirked, raising an eyebrow. “Well, if anyone can make something work, it’s you. Just remember, it’s acting. You can survive this.”

You sighed, running a hand through your hair. “This is going to be the greatest challenge of my life.”

“Or the greatest performance” Haechan added from behind you, strolling away with a wave. "See you at rehearsal, Juliet"

Gosh, how cocky can he be?

And just like that, the stage was set for the greatest challenge of your theater career.

----

The first week of rehearsals was a complete disaster.

You showed up early every day, determined to prove you were the better actor. Yeri cheered you on from the sidelines, offering moral support and running lines with you during breaks. But no amount of preparation could prepare you for dealing with Haechan.

“You’re stepping on my cue” you snapped during the third run-through of Act II, Scene 2—the infamous balcony scene.

Haechan leaned casually against the mock balcony railing, his expression infuriatingly relaxed. “I’m not stepping on your cue. You’re just late delivering your line.”

“Late?” Your voice rose an octave. “I’m perfectly on time. Maybe if you stopped ad-libbing every other word, we wouldn’t be having this problem.”

“It’s called artistic interpretation” he replied with a smirk. “You should try it sometime.”

“Alright, that’s enough” Ms. Lee interrupted, pinching the bridge of her nose. “Both of you, take five.”

You stormed off stage, muttering under your breath. Yeri was waiting in the wings, holding out a bottle of water. “I take it things are going well?” she asked, eyebrows raised.

“He’s impossible” you hissed, taking the water and gulping it down. “He thinks he’s God’s gift to theater.”

“To be fair, he’s pretty good” Yeri pointed out, earning a glare from you. “Okay, okay, don’t kill me. I’m just saying maybe you should try working with him instead of against him.”

“I’d rather eat this script” you replied, waving the booklet in your hand.

Rehearsals continued, and the tension between you and Haechan only grew. He had a knack for getting under your skin, whether it was by subtly correcting your blocking or making snarky comments about your delivery. But as much as you hated to admit it, there were moments when his talent shone through.

During one rehearsal, Ms. Lee had you run the balcony scene again, this time with more emotion. “I want to feel the longing, the desperation" she instructed. “You’re two people who are willing to defy the world for each other. Make me believe it.”

You took a deep breath and stepped onto the stage. Haechan was already in position, looking uncharacteristically serious. As the scene unfolded, something shifted. His voice was softer, more earnest, and his gaze held a vulnerability that caught you off guard.

“With love’s light wings did I o’er-perch these walls” he said, his words carrying a quiet intensity. “For stony limits cannot hold love out, and what love can do that dares love attempt; therefore thy kinsmen are no stop to me”

For a moment, you forgot about your rivalry, about the barbs and bickering. You were Juliet, and he was Romeo. And for the first time, you felt the spark of something real. His sincerity made your heart flutter unexpectedly, and you had to fight to keep your composure.

When the scene ended, the auditorium was silent. Ms. Lee clapped her hands once. “Much better” she said. “That’s what I want to see.”

You glanced at Haechan, expecting a smirk or a snide remark, but he simply nodded, his expression unreadable. His usual cocky smile was absent, and something about that made your stomach twist in a way you weren’t ready to admit.

As you walked off stage, Yeri was waiting with a knowing smile.

“What?” you asked, frowning.

“Nothing” she said, grinning. “It’s just... you two might actually pull this off.”

You rolled your eyes, but a small part of you wondered if she might be right. There was something different in the air, something you couldn't quite place. Something that made the idea of this performance—of working with Haechan—suddenly feel... possible.

----

The tension in rehearsals began to shift after that balcony scene. Something unspoken lingered between you and Haechan, neither of you willing to acknowledge it directly. Instead, it seeped into your performances, turning your clashes into something raw and electric.

Ms. Lee noticed the change, of course. “You two are finally starting to act like star-crossed lovers” she remarked one afternoon after a particularly charged run-through of the play’s climactic tomb scene. “Keep it up.”

Despite the progress onstage, your relationship offstage remained rocky. Haechan still found ways to annoy you, whether it was by "accidentally" stealing your water bottle or offering unsolicited critiques of your delivery. But now, there were moments when his teasing felt... lighter. Playful, even.

One rainy afternoon, the rehearsal was canceled due to a power outage. You and Yeri decided to stay behind and run lines in the empty theater, but Haechan showed up too, claiming he needed the quiet to work on his monologues.

“You can’t possibly concentrate with us here” you said, eyeing him suspiciously as he sprawled across the front row of seats.

“I can ignore you just fine” he shot back, flipping open his script.

An hour later, you were struggling through one of Juliet’s monologues when he interrupted.

“Pause” Haechan said, sitting up. “You’re rushing through it. Juliet’s conflicted, but she’s not frantic. Give the words more space to breathe.”

You bristled, but Yeri nudged you. “He’s right” she admitted reluctantly.

“Fine” you said, exhaling sharply. “Show me how you’d do it, Mr. Perfect.”

To your surprise, Haechan didn’t smirk or gloat. He simply stood, walked to the stage, and began reciting Juliet’s lines. His voice was softer than you’d ever heard, layered with a vulnerability that made the words ache.

"O, that I were a glove upon that hand,

That I might touch that cheek!"

When he finished, the theater was silent. You swallowed hard, unwilling to admit just how much he’d moved you.

“Not bad” you said, your voice quieter than you intended.

“High praise coming from you” he replied with a small grin. “Your turn”

You hesitated, then took a deep breath and tried again. This time, you let the words settle, drawing on the emotions you’d seen him convey. The pause before you spoke felt longer this time, your thoughts swirling around his sudden honesty.

"O, that I were a glove upon that hand, That I might touch that cheek!"

When you finished, Haechan nodded.

“Better” he said simply, his tone lacking the usual sarcasm.

That wasn’t the last time you met a new side of Haechan. One evening, after a particularly grueling rehearsal, you found yourself alone in the auditorium. The stage was empty, the lights dimmed, but you lingered, flipping through your script and mouthing the lines to yourself. The world seemed quieter in these moments, as if the theater itself were holding its breath.

“You’re still here?”

The voice startled you, and you turned to see Haechan leaning against the doorway, his bag slung over one shoulder. “Didn’t think you were the type to overwork yourself.”

“And I didn’t think you cared” you shot back, though your tone lacked its usual bite. “What are you still doing here?”

He shrugged, walking closer. “Sometimes it’s hard to leave. Feels like the stage pulls you back, doesn’t it?”

You nodded despite yourself. There was something about the theater—the way it transformed you, made you feel larger than life, even when you felt small. “Yeah. It does.”

Haechan set his bag down and perched on the edge of the stage. For a moment, neither of you spoke, the silence stretching like a taut string between you. Then, to your surprise, he broke it.

“You know, it wasn’t always like this for me” he said, his voice softer than you’d ever heard it. “Theater, I mean. I used to hate it.”

You raised an eyebrow. “You? Mr. Theater Club Golden Boy? Hard to believe”

He let out a short laugh. “Yeah, well, my parents pushed me into it when I was a kid. Thought it would make me more confident or something. At first, it was just… exhausting. Trying to live up to everyone’s expectations.”

You tilted your head, curiosity piqued. “What changed?”

“I don’t know” he admitted, fiddling with the strap of his bag. “One day, I realized that being on stage was the only place where I felt like I could breathe. Where I didn’t have to be perfect, even if everyone expected me to be”

The raw honesty in his voice caught you off guard. You’d always seen Haechan as this unshakable force, someone who thrived on confidence and charisma. Hearing him admit to struggles you’d never imagined made him feel… human.

“I get that” you said quietly. “It’s like, when you’re on stage, nothing else matters. Not school, not family, not… whatever else is going wrong. It’s just you and the story.”

He looked at you then, his eyes searching yours. For once, there was no hint of mockery or arrogance in his expression. “Yeah. Exactly.”

The moment hung in the air, fragile and fleeting. You felt a strange warmth in your chest, an unfamiliar ache that you couldn’t quite name. Before you could dwell on it, Haechan smirked, breaking the spell.

“Don’t tell me I’m winning you over” he teased, his usual bravado slipping back into place.

You rolled your eyes, though your lips twitched into a reluctant smile. “Don’t push your luck.”

The next day at rehearsal, things felt… different. The barbs you and Haechan exchanged were less pointed, playful. The chemistry Ms. Lee had demanded seemed to flow more naturally, and for the first time, you found yourself looking forward to your scenes with him.

Yeri noticed, of course. She always did.

“Okay, what’s going on?” she asked during a break, cornering you near the water cooler.

“What are you talking about?” you replied, feigning innocence.

“Don’t play dumb with me. You and Haechan. You’re… I don’t know, actually getting along?”

You hesitated, unsure how to explain. “I guess we just… called a truce or something. It’s not like we’re best friends now.”

“Hmm.” Yeri gave you a skeptical look but let the subject drop—for now.

The next major turning point came during a late-night rehearsal. Ms. Lee had insisted on running the pivotal Act V, Scene 3—the tragic finale where Romeo and Juliet meet their untimely end. The scene required raw emotion, the kind that left you drained but exhilarated.

As you and Haechan stood on stage, the weight of the moment pressed down on you. The other students watched in silence as you delivered Juliet’s lines, your voice trembling with desperation.

"O, happy dagger! This is thy sheath:

There rust, and let me die."

The dagger in your hand was just a prop, but the emotion you poured into the words felt real. As you collapsed beside Haechan, his hand found yours, his grip firm and grounding. For a moment, the world narrowed to just the two of you, the stage fading into darkness.

When the scene ended, the room erupted into applause. Ms. Lee’s voice cut through the noise, her praise uncharacteristically effusive. “That’s it! That’s what I’ve been waiting for. Incredible work, both of you.”

You sat up, breathless and slightly dazed. Haechan was still lying beside you, a small, genuine smile playing on his lips.

“See?” he murmured. “We make a good team.”

You didn’t reply, but for the first time, you wondered if he might be right.

----

It had been weeks of rehearsals, and now, the moment had arrived. The kiss. The scene that you both dreaded, the one Ms. Lee had been emphasizing from day one—“Make it real. Make it believable.” You didn’t even want to think about it.

You sat in the dimly lit theater, the final act of the play hanging in the air. The room was empty except for you and Haechan, and you could hear the sound of your own heartbeat in the stillness. You looked at him, standing there, waiting for you to move, but you couldn’t. Your feet felt like they were glued to the floor.

"So, uh... ready?" Haechan asked, his voice oddly soft, the usual playful smirk nowhere to be found.

You swallowed, unable to meet his gaze. "Not really"

Haechan’s brows furrowed slightly. "It’s just a kiss" he said, but there was something in his voice that sounded almost... uncertain? "You’ve kissed before, right?"

You gave a nervous laugh, but it sounded hollow. "Yeah of course.."

“You haven’t?” he asks and you nodded confirming

Haechan paused, his eyes softening for a moment as if he understood, but then the playful side of him came back. “Hey, don’t worry. It’s just a scene. No pressure. We got time”

But you could feel the weight of the moment. The kiss wasn’t just a kiss—it was Juliet and Romeo, the pivotal moment of the play. You couldn’t do it in front of everyone like this, not yet. Not with the way your heart raced just thinking about it.

Before you could voice any more doubts, the sound of footsteps echoed through the hall. Ms. Lee walked into the theater, her clipboard in hand and a determined look in her eyes.

“You two ready for the kiss scene?” she asked, raising an eyebrow at both of you.

You opened your mouth to say something, but before you could get the words out, Ms. Lee gave you a pointed look.

“I know, I know,” she said. “This scene has been... difficult, but we need to make progress.”

You bit your lip, looking down at your script as if it might hold the answers. You could feel the heat creeping up your neck. You weren’t sure what was more terrifying—the fact that you had to kiss Haechan or that Ms. Lee was watching.

"Let's try it" she said, gesturing for you both to get into position.

You took your place across from Haechan, trying not to let the nerves show. The lines felt different now—he wasn’t just Romeo, and you weren’t just Juliet. You were two actors trying to make something real out of nothing.

“From the top” Ms. Lee said, her voice firm.

You and Haechan began, your words flowing more easily now that the tension had built. It felt like a dance—back and forth, moving in sync with each other.

“Thou know’st the mask of night is on my face” you said, your voice quieter than you meant it to be, but Haechan’s gaze was steady, pulling you in.

“I take thee at thy word” Haechan responded, his voice surprisingly gentle, not the usual confident tone you were used to hearing. “Call me but love, and I’ll be new baptized. Henceforth I never will be Romeo”

The space between you was closing, the tension so palpable that you could almost taste it. But as Haechan stepped closer, you found yourself frozen in place, heart pounding in your chest.

You weren’t sure what to do—what to feel. Every part of you was screaming to just get through the scene, but the other part... the part that didn’t want to admit it, the part that felt shy, scared to let it go, was holding you back.

Just as Haechan leaned in, ready to bridge the gap and close the scene, Ms. Lee stepped forward sharply.

“Stop!”

You froze immediately, your heart dropping into your stomach. Haechan pulled back just as quickly, confusion flashing across his face.

Ms. Lee gave both of you a look that wasn’t angry, but stern. “That’s enough for today.”

“What? But... we were almost there,” Haechan said, looking between you and Ms. Lee. “What’s wrong?”

Ms. Lee shook her head. “It’s not the right time. You’re both still holding back. That kiss has to feel real. It has to come from a place of emotion, not just ‘getting through the scene.’ Right now, it’s not.”

You bit your lip, avoiding Haechan’s gaze. The tension between you both hadn’t been just for the scene; it had been real, building each time you were forced to confront it. It wasn’t that you didn’t want to do it, but you didn’t want to rush into it.

“But we need to rehearse it, right?” Haechan asked, a slight edge to his voice. “Ms. Lee, we can’t just skip it.”

Ms. Lee nodded, but there was a firmness in her tone that made you want to shrink into the floor. “You’re not skipping it. But it’s not about rehearsing the kiss over and over. You need time to feel it. To make it real. The audience will feel it when it’s true. The chemistry, the tension—you can’t fake that.”

You couldn’t meet her eyes, but you knew she was right. You could feel the difference between just performing the scene and actually experiencing it. There was no faking that kind of connection, no matter how much you tried.

Ms. Lee continued. “Take some time. Work on the scene together. When you’re both ready for it, we’ll go for the kiss, and it will be as real as it needs to be.”

With that, she gave a nod and left the stage, leaving you and Haechan alone in the stillness.

The silence between you two was thick, but this time, it wasn’t as awkward as before. You took a deep breath, feeling a little lighter without Ms. Lee’s intense gaze on you.

Haechan gave you a small, reassuring smile. “You okay?”

You nodded, though you weren’t sure. The air felt different now, and for a moment, you just stood there, unsure of what to say or do.

“We’ll get it.” Haechan said, breaking the silence. “When it’s time, we’ll make it real.”

You met his gaze, a small but genuine smile tugging at your lips. You didn’t know when it would happen, but maybe, just maybe, you were starting to believe him.

---

After several more rehearsals, the tension between you and Haechan seemed to settle, though there was still a quiet undercurrent that neither of you fully acknowledged. But, as Ms. Lee had said, you needed time to really feel the scene—especially the kiss. Haechan seemed to understand that now, and so, the rehearsals went on without any more awkwardness.

One evening, as you were packing up your bag after a particularly long rehearsal, Haechan caught your eye, looking unusually hesitant. You raised an eyebrow as he approached.

"Hey" he began, his voice softer than usual. "You know, we've been practicing this scene for weeks, but we barely ever talk outside of it. How about we, I don't know, hang out a little? Just... you and me"

You blinked in surprise, not expecting such an invitation. "Like... a date?" you asked, unsure if that’s what he meant.

Haechan smiled, his usual playful grin returning. "Yeah, a date" he confirmed. "Think of it as a way to get to know each other better, so it doesn’t feel so... weird when we’re on stage"

You hesitated for a moment. You'd never been on a date, not in the traditional sense, and the idea of spending time with Haechan outside of rehearsals made your heart race for all the wrong reasons. But then, you remembered his gentleness during the last rehearsal—the way he'd reassured you without making it awkward. Maybe this would help you both get more comfortable.

"Okay" you said, giving a small nod. "I guess I could do that."

Haechan’s face lit up. “Great! I know a place. I promise it’s not as weird as it sounds"

The next day, he picked you up, wearing a simple yet stylish jacket that made him look effortlessly cool. You were still nervous, but there was something about his easy confidence that made you feel like everything would be okay.

When you got to the spot he had chosen, you were surprised—it was a small, charming café tucked away in a quiet part of town, far from the busy streets. The soft glow of fairy lights hung overhead, and there was a cozy, intimate atmosphere that felt worlds away from the chaos of rehearsals.

"You didn’t tell me you were a fan of cozy cafés" you said, glancing around at the warm, inviting space.

Haechan grinned, his eyes twinkling. "There’s more to me than just rehearsals and sarcasm, you know."

The café had a relaxed vibe, and the two of you settled into a corner booth. As you chatted, it was easier than you expected. The conversation flowed naturally—about everything and nothing. You discovered that Haechan had a deep love for music and played guitar in his free time, and he learned that you loved reading and had a secret obsession with indie films. You laughed together over the silly things you shared, and for a moment, it felt like you were just two people, not actors forced to kiss in a play.

As the night went on, you realized how much more you were learning about him—the playful side, the thoughtful side, and, maybe unexpectedly, the vulnerable side. He wasn’t just the confident, teasing actor on stage. There was something deeper to him, something that made your heart flutter.

When the meal came to an end, Haechan suggested a walk through the nearby park. It was quiet, peaceful, and the night air felt crisp as you strolled side by side, occasionally brushing against each other. You could feel the connection between you growing stronger, but neither of you spoke of it directly.

Finally, you stopped in front of a small fountain, the sound of the water filling the silence. The lights from the café flickered in the distance, casting a soft glow. Haechan turned to face you, his expression serious now, no longer playful.

"I’m glad we did this" he said quietly, his voice soft. "I wasn’t sure if you’d say yes, but I wanted to give us a chance to just... be normal for once. No pressure, no stage, just us"

You met his gaze, your heart pounding a little faster. The night had been unexpectedly perfect, and you couldn’t deny the way he made you feel—like you could breathe easier with him around.

“I’m glad too” you said, your voice quiet. “I... didn’t know what to expect, but this feels nice”

There was a pause, and then Haechan stepped a little closer, his gaze not leaving yours. “You know, I think... we’ve got this. The scene, the kiss, all of it. We can do it, because we’re not just pretending anymore. This—" he gestured between the two of you, "—this feels real.”

You felt a surge of warmth spread through you, and for the first time, you didn’t feel so nervous about the kiss. Maybe it was because, right here, standing in front of him, you were starting to understand what it meant to be real. Not just for the stage, but for the two of you.

You took a deep breath and smiled. “Yeah... I think we can" you said softly, your heart telling you that Haechan wasn’t just talking about the scene anymore.

The walk back was easy, and when you reached your apartment, Haechan stopped, looking at you with an expression you couldn’t quite read.

“Goodnight,” he said, his voice lower than before. “I’ll see you at rehearsal tomorrow”

You nodded, feeling a mixture of emotions. “Goodnight, Haechan”

As you closed the door behind you, your heart was still racing, but it wasn’t out of fear anymore. It was something else—something new.

And for the first time, you were sure of it. What was unfolding between you and Haechan? It wasn’t just part of a play. It was something real, and it was happening.

----

The big night of the performance had arrived.

The packed theater buzzed with energy, the murmur of the audience blending with the hum of the orchestra tuning in the pit. Behind the curtain, the cast and crew hurriedly adjusted costumes, touched up makeup, and whispered last-minute words of encouragement. But for you, the world felt still—like the weight of the night pressed its full force upon you.

You stood in the wings, adjusting the lace of your Juliet costume. Every fiber of your being was charged, not with nerves for the performance itself, but for what lay beyond it. Haechan stood a few feet away, leaning casually against the wall, dressed as Romeo. His typical playful confidence was gone, replaced by something quieter, something serious.

The moments between you during rehearsals had been electric—charged with unspoken feelings neither of you dared to address. The kiss, rehearsed in fragments but never fully acted out, was waiting at the center of the storm.

“Places!” called the stage manager, jolting you from your thoughts.

You glanced over at Haechan. He caught your eye, his expression unreadable, but in the depth of his gaze, you felt the same tension mirrored back at you. He gave a small nod, barely perceptible, as if to say, We’re in this together.

The opening scenes flowed seamlessly, the energy between you and Haechan drawing the audience in. By the time the masquerade ball arrived—the fateful first meeting of Romeo and Juliet—the crowd was utterly captivated.

When he spoke his first line to you under the soft glow of the stage lights, his voice was steady, but there was something more, something that made the words hum with sincerity.

“If I profane with my unworthiest hand this holy shrine, the gentle fine is this: My lips, two blushing pilgrims, ready stand to smooth that rough touch with a tender kiss.”

The way he looked at you made your heart stutter, and for a moment, you forgot your lines. But the pause wasn’t awkward—it was charged, a heartbeat longer than it should have been. Finally, you found your voice.

“Good pilgrim, you do wrong your hand too much, which mannerly devotion shows in this; for saints have hands that pilgrims' hands do touch, and palm to palm is holy palmers' kiss.”

Your hands touched, palm to palm, and though it was only for the scene, the touch felt electric. When he leaned in, pretending to kiss your hand, the brush of his breath sent a shiver down your spine. The audience erupted into applause, but you barely noticed.

The first kiss came midway through Act II, Scene II—the balcony scene. The moment you dreaded and longed for in equal measure.

Standing on the balcony, you gazed down at Haechan. He delivered Romeo’s lines with raw, unfiltered emotion, his voice steady and low, each word drawing you in.

“With love’s light wings did I o’er-perch these walls;

For stony limits cannot hold love out,

And what love can do that dares love attempt;

Therefore thy kinsmen are no stop to me.”

As Juliet, you responded with all the vulnerability and yearning you could summon. But this time, it wasn’t just acting. Every word you spoke felt real, pulled from somewhere deep within you.

“If that thy bent of love be honourable, thy purpose marriage, send me word tomorrow...”

As the lines wove together, the moment came. Haechan climbed the balcony, his hand reaching out to you. The script called for the kiss—a brief, dramatic moment—but it was anything but scripted.

When he leaned in, your heart raced. His lips met yours, soft and warm, and the world fell away. The noise of the crowd, the spotlight, the weight of the scene—all of it vanished. It wasn’t a performance. It wasn’t rehearsed. It was real.

The kiss deepened for a heartbeat longer than it should have, and when you finally pulled away, breathless, you opened your eyes to find him staring at you. Not as Romeo. As Haechan.

The rest of the scene passed in a daze. The audience erupted in applause, but your heart was still pounding from something far more intimate than the performance.

After the final scene, the play came to its tragic conclusion. Juliet’s dagger fell, and the stage went dark. The audience leapt to their feet, the sound of their cheers filling the theater. The curtain fell, signaling the end, but for you and Haechan, something had only just begun.

Backstage, the cast celebrated, hugging one another and reliving the highlights of the night. But you stood apart, your thoughts consumed by the kiss—by the way it lingered, refusing to fade like the echo of a final note in a symphony.

You found Haechan by the prop table, where he was unlacing his boots. He looked up as you approached, his expression unreadable. For a moment, neither of you spoke.

“That kiss” he said finally, his voice quieter than you’d ever heard it. “That wasn’t acting, was it?”

You hesitated, the weight of his question pressing down on you. But you couldn’t lie—not now. “No” you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper. “It wasn’t”

Relief flashed across his face, quickly followed by something deeper. He stood, closing the space between you, his eyes searching yours.

“I’ve been trying to say this for weeks" he said, his tone soft but insistent. “But every time I get close, I... chicken out. So, I’m just going to say it now.” He took a deep breath. “I like you. Not just on stage, not just as Juliet. I like you.”

Your breath caught, his words unraveling the last of your defenses. “I like you too.Not just on stage, not just as Romeo. I like you too” you said, the confession tumbling out before you could second-guess it.

His smile was soft, vulnerable, and before you could think, he leaned in again. This kiss was different from the one on stage—less dramatic, more tender. His hand cupped your cheek as if afraid you might disappear, and when you pulled back, he rested his forehead against yours.

“I guess we’re not just a disaster waiting to happen, huh?” he teased, his signature playfulness returning.

You laughed, the sound light and free. “No,” you said, smiling up at him. “Maybe we’re just the beginning of something amazing, a masterpiece.”

In the distance, the cast’s cheers continued, but for you and Haechan, the night had quieted into something intimate, something that felt like a new story waiting to be written.

The final curtain had fallen, but the real performance—the one with no script or stage lights—had only just begun.

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xclowniex · 3 months ago

Note

Hi! I ask this with full respect! But am I Jewish?

I’m an Armenian Jewish Israeli, and I live in the Armenian quarter of Jerusalesm. I was born to a Mizrahi Jewish father and an Armenian mother, and I also practice the Christian faith. I won’t say I’m as deep into Jewish culture as some but I have participated in throughout my life, and I do genuinely have a love for it.

I was just wondering if I would be considered Jewish because my mother isn’t Jewish and I follow a different faith that isn’t Judaism. Not necessarily on here, but I’ve talked with some more conservative Jews who wouldn’t consider me one.

I was just hoping to what your opinion was like because I really like your opinions.

Shalom!

Hi! Your asks are no problem at all, you don't have to apologize for sending a follow up ask with more context.

I did pose your ask to some friends of mine to garner other perspectives outside of just my own.

Jews will welcoming in terms of interacting with you as long as you don't proselytize or go down the messianic route, which you do not give the vibes for either of those.

Messianics are "jews for jesus" and are mainly made up of Christians with no jewish heritage claiming to be the real jews and practice a mix of appropriated judaism and Christianity.

What I think is that you are welcome to call yourself jewish on your dad's side as well, you are and you have grown up around the culture. My own journey has not been linear and neither has many jews I know online or irl. I grew up orthodox with a non Jewish mother, converted as a child, stopped practicing as a teen and explored other religions before settling on judaism, specifically reform. I may become orthodox again later, but I'm happy now with reform. Though I will start attending the orthodox synagogue Friday evening services when I move closer to it as after a 30m service I get a free dinner so why not lol. At the last monthly shabbat potluck I went to with jews around my age, there were a few jews who never grew up religious, mainly due to a similar situation where one parent was jewish, the other catholic or Christian and whilst they view themselves as atheist, they do still want to participate in the cultural aspect.

I wouldn't really just use the word "jew" to describe you as that does come with the connotations of you being either religiously jewish or secular, aka non practicing but culturally jewish, so specificity is nice, but I also wouldn't say that you aren't jewish in any capacity as that is blatantly false. If you took a dna test, roughly half of your DNA would be jewish (give or take as you might not have inherented generically exactly 50% jewish dna as dna and genetics is more complicated than an easy split).

Some other people I posed your query to would say is that you would be best considering yourself someone with jewish heritage/ancestors, because you do believe in Jesus.

The reason why I think jewish on your dad's side fits you a lot better than saying jewish heritage is people who usually say they have jewish heritage are people who like their great grandparent was jewish but converted to Christianity and their grandparents, parents and themselves never practiced judaism, both religion wise and culture wise. But that's just purely my experience with what I have seen.

I do understand why some jews would be hesitant with you calling yourself jewish as there are people who have jewish heritage either with one parent or a grandparent who act like an authority on everything jewish as well as just caution surronding messianic jews in general, but again like I've said, you don't give that vibe.

It honestly your choice and does depend on how heavily you want to associate with jewish culture as well as how much jewish culture you partake in. I will say thought that you shouldn't really mix jewish prayers with Christianity, but again, that's not the vibe I get from you.

If you do want to make a tumblr, I would recommend that you specify in your bio or pinned post that you are ethnically jewish or have jewish heritage and are Christian. Just so people are aware and don't assume you are messianic lol.

#jumblr #antisemitism #israel #jewblr #judaism

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 11 months ago

Note

AITA for wanting healthy communication?

🎨💫 <- so I can find it

For context this is about one of my exes from 2022. It was an online relationship. At the time of this story I was 19 and they (🦜) were 18. This also involves their friend (🪐) who was also 18 at the time.

When me and 🦜 met, I was 17 and they were 16. I had just gotten out of a toxic relationship with someone who had been cheating on me with 🦜. Me and 🦜 bonded over the toxicity of that person, which is how we ended up getting closer. Trauma bonding isn’t healthy, I know.

Me and 🦜 started dating in January of 2022. I was in college at the time but I ended up dropping out and moving to another state. During this time, I asked 🦜 to communicate with me if I ever did or said anything wrong, as I’m autistic and often can’t tell. I thought that 🦜 also being autistic meant they would understand, but oh how wrong I was.

Our relationship lasted from January to October of 2022. In that time, me and 🦜 only ever had one conversation about something we were upset about. I’d often ask them if they were okay, if I was doing anything wrong, if there was anything I could improve on. Every time they answered saying they were fine.

Fast forward to October 2022. I woke up to a long DM from 🦜 telling me I had been abusing them and that they were blocking me. I didn’t know what they were talking about since I had no memory of ever doing anything they were claiming I did. Their friend 🪐 had also DMed me with pretty much the same thing as 🦜. I was left completely unaware and confused about what happened until October 2023, when 🦜 and 🪐 sent out a long document about me. In it were things I never remembered doing, things that aren’t even bad at all, and things I honest to God never even did. There were some screenshots but most of it was word-of-mouth “just trust me bro”. They had even included a message from me where I had said neither of them ever communicated anything with me other than the singular time.

I made my own document, including how I had several times asked to be communicated with, and how some of the things I was being accused of were in fact things that 🦜 had done to me and were now placing onto me. Of course this got thrown around as “victim blaming”. This all took place on bird app, so of course fork found in kitchen.

If it helps at all, I suffer from dissociative amnesia, which means I often lose or “forget” chunks of time ranging from a couple minutes to whole months and years. I lost my memory of most of 2022 which makes 🦜’s accusations a lot harder for me to believe and honestly, it feels like they’re gaslighting me. I’ve been told I’m lying about things I never lied about. They were extremely toxic to me, I admit I was toxic to them as well. My trauma has been looked over in favor of banishing me from the internet.

I hope this explained this well enough. I’m a little scared 🦜 will find this if I give any more details of the situation but I’ll try to answer any questions as best I can.

Thank you for listening. I’ll 100% accept if I’m the asshole here. I just need to know for my own sanity and so I can work on myself moving forward if I am actually the asshole.

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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davilasinfiltro · 9 months ago

Text

Badboyhalo gets advice from Reddit

Bad panics after Skeppy releases Best Friend and decides to ask for relationship advice on Reddit because he doesn’t know who else to turn to

979 words

r/relationship_advice u/throwaway132166922

My (M29) best friend (M23) made a song about me and I don’t know how to feel about it.

I don’t even know why I’m doing this. I’m so paranoid about anyone finding out who I am but I frequent this subreddit a lot and can't find anyone who is in the same situation as me. I also don’t know who I can even talk to about this since we have a lot of mutual friends. If this gets too much traction I’m deleting it quickly, here goes nothing >_<

Here’s the context, me and my friend have known each other online for a while and have been friends for around 4 years (my friends poke fun that we have our ‘anniversary’ memorized but I digress.) We’ve half heartedly been making plans to meetup for the past few years. What can I say? I don’t like leaving the house and never really had the urge to meet any of my online friends. I’d argue that you could have a meaningful relationship with someone and never meet them irl. Anyways, I never took these conversations too seriously. I would always say I’m not ready yet, it’s too close to the holidays, who’s going to take care of my dog? The one time we did have concrete plans I was sick with covid and I had a long recovery. And we just never followed up with a reschedule.

I never knew how much this affected my friend until he wrote this sort of… rap and produced it with one of our mutual friends. He insults me, saying I have a massive ego, I’m a psycho, it’s my fault I made him ‘feel blue,’ and immediately backtracks and compliments me. There’s another lyric that says I’m pushing him away and if I’m hiding something? This part I have to quote verbatim because it’s the part I understand the least,

“I can’t really say my true intentions

It’s all just miscommunication

Please don’t take it the wrong way

I love you dude and I hope we’re okay”

And that’s how it ends. Meanwhile, I had no clue my friend was having this type of conflicting feelings about me. Or how much us meeting up meant to him. Yeah maybe we’d go from talking every day to messaging each other only semi frequently but that’s just the evolution of a friendship right? We were both getting busier as our respective careers became more time-consuming but that’s nobody’s fault, is it? I know I should apologize to him for never taking his requests for us to meetup too seriously but I think there’s something else under the surface.

Does he want to confess to me? I keep going back to that lyric, “I can’t really say my true intentions.” He’s pretty much ripped his heart out on this song but there’s /one/ thing he can’t say to me? Does it have to do with him wanting to preserve our friendship, that it’ll be strained in some way if he confesses? I don’t know what gives him that impression, a lot of our friends are lgbt+. Heck, a lot of them make jokes that we like each other already. Anyways, there shouldn’t be anything deterring him from confessing if that’s what he is trying to do. Or not trying to do.

Any advice is appreciated. I still haven’t said anything to him directly since he made that song.

u/amycat1203

Whatever you two have going on is gayer than any gay person I know irl

-> Reply u/throwaway132166922

If I had a nickel for every time I heard that -_-

u/justadudelmao

This is too outrageous to be fake, so I’m trying to take this seriously. It sounds like y’all have some shit to talk out in person. If the next message you send him isn’t a confirmation for a plane ticket you’re the problem

-> Reply u/throwaway132166922

If I travel to him it won’t be by plane, I have a phobia. But you’re right :/ I need to make it up to him soon if this is how he feels about us not meeting up

u/matchmakingismypassion

Maybe he has reason to believe you wouldn’t want him to confess to you. How do you react to the jokes your friends make about you together? Do you even reciprocate any possible romantic feelings to him?

->Reply u/throwaway132166922

It’s complicated, early on in our friendship he’d flirt with me as a troll and I’d always politely turn him down. I’ve known about him for so long, even before he was 18. I wasn’t comfortable indulging in this kind of joke. So even if he was 19 when he made these comments, he felt too young for me. He grew out of it and eventually we were inseparable as best friends, to the point that our mutual friends would tease us. Both of us would casually deny anything to our friends but honestly, I wouldn’t mind dating him if he made the first move. But you understand why I can’t make the first move, right?

->Reply u/matchmakingismypassion

To me it sounds like he shouldn’t make the first move either if all he’s ever heard from you is rejection. Especially if you can’t even make the effort to meetup, something he obviously wants from you. He made the song as a plea to start an open dialogue, and that starts with you bud.

u/skephalofan141414

EVERYONE. THIS STORY IS FAKE. This is some guy pretending to be Badboyhalo about the song Skeppy made called “Best Friend” on youtube. You’re a weirdo trying to karma farm off of a story that isn’t yours to tell

->Reply u/thisteaishotaf

Who??? Link please???

->Reply u/skephalofan141414

https://youtu.be/skDch34PtEM?si=Usxbm6LXisq9xWCD

->Reply u/thisteaishotaf

Why the fuck would his friend post this on a minecraft channel LMAO

#skephalo #skephalo fic #I wrote this a while ago I’m surprised it took me this long to post lol #badboyhalo #skeppy

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blushedfemmes · 2 months ago

Note

do you have any advice for someone who is......... very autistic and socially anxious but wants to learn more/get connected/participate in butchfemme community? from what ive read so far im considering that i might uh.. fit? is that the right word for the situation? but i dont want to use labels that arent right or insert myself anywhere i dont belong so id like to gain more knowledge and experience within the community but i simply dont know where to start. i dont have a lot of friends and my friends who are lesbians arent butchfemme and frankly the idea of going to a bar and attempting to casually socialize with strangers who havent asked to socialize with me makes me SO anxious lol..

hi anon, i’m so glad you’re here! as a fellow socially anxious autistic i completely get it. but the years i spent feeling like i wasn’t allowed to be part of butchfemme, or even talk to lesbians without fearing i was hurting or offending them, ended up inflicting immense damage on myself while protecting/respecting absolutely no one.

i gently urge you to set aside the narrative that you’re “inserting yourself” or harming others by exploring your identity. that’s not possible. (and if others claim that it is, they are in the wrong, not you.) in my opinion the entire purpose of sexuality & gender labels is to help us find each other, to give us joy, and to ground ourselves, by naming/uplifting certain parts of us. if you try something out, and eventually decide it doesn’t give you joy or ground you in a way that feels right, that’s okay! there’s no harm done. i would wish you well as warmly as i now welcome you into butchfemme 🥰

secondly, butchfemme bar culture has not been a thing for over 50 years, so you’re not missing out on anything. i go out to queer/gay bars (and the occasional rare lesbian bar) bc it’s fun and i enjoy it but i have never met any butchfemme folks that way, and i don’t think it’s the best way to meet people and make friends. you’ll probably have much more luck online, or in local nerdy/hobby groups, such as D&D or ttrpg, community theater, or your local organizing/mutual aid scene. tumblr is honestly a great place to start and if you’re comfy sharing your general geographic area or state on here, it’s a great way to find people who might be local to you!!

you can also read about butchfemme, its historical context, and the ways it’s evolved. to start out with i recommend two essay anthologies: The Persistent Desire: A Femme-Butch Reader edited by Joan Nestle, and its more contemporary follow-up, Persistence: All Ways Butch and Femme edited by Ivan Coyote and Zena Sharman.

i hope this gives you a place to start and, more importantly, a gentler perspective on your right as a human being to talk to others, explore parts of yourself, and find what feels good to you!!

#clarke answers #ask a femme #sorry this has taken me so long to reply btw #it got buried in my drafts! i hope you see it <3

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silkkorchid · 4 months ago

Text

I know most people don’t know about me but I really just want to vent out some of my frustration from the past 4 years

Some of the things mention may be sensitive to certain people

Look, I know most people online see me as a positive and supportive person or whatever. But I’m not always like that, some of my irl friends knows that I had my arts stolen and reposted before as their own and taking a tribute art without understanding the context, in which was my breaking point which I said what that one art meaning and how FUCKING INSENSITIVE THEY WERE! And going around trying to find my social media account trying to make me feel worthless, in which I did since I broke down crying over it.

Insta, Twitter, and any other popular social media platforms I don’t post my art there anymore after that experience. Let alone I don’t want my art to be taken away from me just to make fun of me. Which is the reason why I dislike seeing my art presented in front of so many people.

Let alone having rumors about me that I was cheating on a guy WHEN IN REALITY I WAS TALKING TO A FUXKING FRIEND DURING PASSING PERIOD! It doesn’t really help that I had a photo taken when I was talking to him without my permission nor did I notice. IT WAS WORST KNOWING SOME PEOPLE FUCKING BELIEVE IT AND THE ONLY GOD DAMN REASON WHY I FOUND OUT ABOUT BECAUSE OF MY CLASSMATE! Which made me have a strong resolve to NOT DATE SOMEONE.

And I really question my fucking existence as I STRUGGLING TO MAKE FRIENDS THAT WONT BETRAY MY DAMN TRUST OR JUST SOMETHING THAT I HEAVILY DISLIKE! And so much gaslighting happens within that old friend group of mine that I too became a sick and shitty person looking for any attention. Seeing how shitty I was just makes me sick to my stomach. Luckily I was able to move on with my life after that, which allowed me to become friends with people that actually take the time to understand me and joke around while respecting my boundaries and I do so too.

Tbh the only time I felt I was able to be comfortable on a platform without being made fun on is on Tumblr. As there are many people still using it despite it falling off from popularity. It allowed me to show my likes and dislike, and able to talk or roleplay which I missed doing. In which, being on tumblr made me feel like I’m apart of something and not being a person that takes up space.

I know it’s not like me to post something negative but I just want this frustration I been holding back to just get out of my body. While also showing that I’m not that all POSTIVE! I still make shitty mistake but, unlike my shit self back then, I take accountability for my actions then blaming others. Sorry for the long vent but I do hope this will give you some sort of relatability.

I’m signing off for the night

Take care everyone

-SilkkOrchid

#silkkorchidshitpost #cw vent

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fridge-reviews · 8 days ago

Text

Best (That I played) in 2024

Welcome to the my personal list of games I enjoyed this year. That’s right it’s my list, feel free to disagree with me but it won’t change anything. Anyway here are the rules;

1. These are games that I’ve played and reviewed this year. 2. The only order to this list is the order in which I reviewed them, it's not a top 10, these all feature because of how good I consider them to be. 3. The games don’t have to have been released this year.

With that all said, let's get into it.

Cult of the Lamb

This game has gone from strength to strength since I originally reviewed it with it having a DLC that introduces a new story as well as a free update that introduces co-op play. I may actually go back and play this again with a friend.

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The Talos Principle 2

I’ve seen online that many people didn’t like this game as much as its predecessor essentially because of the plot and its requirement to interact with the NPC’s. Personally I think that those that think that have put all their focus on the puzzle game aspect (which is fantastic I might add) but ignored the context and subtext that those puzzles are set within. To me, the story is just as important as the puzzles themselves. I truly hope they make a sequel.

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God of War (2018)

As per usual I’m late to the party with this game, that fact hasn’t impacted how much I enjoyed this title. I think that having not played any of the previous games was actually something of a boon for me, because while I did know of Kratos and his past through cultural osmosis it meant I didn’t have any of the baggage that those that had played them did. In a way I understood him in a similar way to Atreus, a stranger that I was familiar with.

A Wonderful game with a stunning world and great combat. There wasn’t a moment I didn’t enjoy.

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Paradise Killer

Some games are style over substance, some the other way around. Not many can tiptoe the line between them. Paradise Killer does this with ease and then does a psychedelic backflip. The world is weird and wonderful while the core mystery of the game is intriguing and open ended.

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Warhammer 40,000: Boltgun

Over the last few years the Warhammer 40K franchise has been absolutely killing it with great games. While you’d think that the setting would be best for turn based or real time strategy it seems like there isn’t a genre they can’t make it work for. A boomer shooter was definitely not one I was expecting but damn is it good. The weapons all feel great, even your starting arsenal and hearing your character stomp around just adds to the effect of feeling powerful.

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Wasteland 2: Directors Cut

I do love a good CRPG and this one definitely fits that bill. It’s no Baldur’s Gate 3 but it is also ten years old so I give it a bit of slack. Of course, I had a feeling it was going to be good given the pedigree of those that worked on it. I can’t wait to play the sequel!

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Deathloop

Deathloop is one part action and one part puzzle game. It’s not whether or not you kill your targets, its not even how you do it. All that matters is when you do it. While its true that Arkane has stumbled with Redfall, Deathloop (and the Dishonored games before it) are why I have every confidence that these devs will bounce back.

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Boneraiser Minions

The Bullet Heaven (Survivor-like) genre has gotten very full as of late, many just copy what Vampire Survivors did without actually understanding why it works. Some however, innovate on the concept. Boneraiser Minions is one such game. Raise a small force, try and make them synergise where you can and avoid taking damage yourself. Every so often I go back to this game just to try another run, not many games have me doing that.

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Ghostwire: Tokyo

This game surprised me with how much it gripped me. Perhaps it was the setting or maybe it was the mythology behind it. I know for a fact it wasn’t the plot as that was very much a cookie cutter ‘rescue X person’ revenge story. All the same, I spent hours and hours working my way around the city, unlocking all the areas because I just wanted to see and experience more. Clearly it did something right.

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Tinykin

As I said in the review I’ve never played Pikmin, but I have played the Overlord games (no, not the anime) and from what I’ve seen those aren’t dissimilar. This game very much reminded me of them but in a much more wholesome way. The game has also become something of a favorite for my kids which is a bonus!

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I won’t mince my words, this year has been shit for developers and sadly it looks like it's only going to get worse. But once again the indie sphere has been on top form, while they aren’t that well represented in this list believe me I’ve been watching.

Honestly, I don’t have much else to say other than to support your indie developers. They actually need the support unlike the games that the likes of Activision and Ubisoft put out.

Happy new year folks.

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waitmyturtles · 1 year ago

Note

I feel like somewhere out there is an essay on Thai BL and the concept of the Death of the Author.

I find it fascinating how active the writers, directors, producers can be before, during, and after a show's run, especially as someone who does't seek out or interact with much BTS/creator content. It's also interesting (post-Only Friends and as I get more familiar with the big names in the genre) how a certain director/writer can heavily shape audience expectations and even interpretations of the shows they create. Obviously this is true to a certain extent outside of Thai BL but I've never seen it quite as pronounced in any of the other media I watch apart from auteur-style film directors.

Thanks so much for the note, @stuffnonsenseandotherthings, and allow me to tag a few fandom experts to drop their thoughts (if they’d like, no pressure) on this line of thinking, both internal and external to the Thai BL genre, for more understandings of what’s happening by way of how Thai BL creators engage with their art and their fans on social media. (@lurkingshan @neuroticbookworm @bengiyo @shortpplfedup @so-much-yet-to-learn @grapejuicegay @recentadultburnout and @absolutebl if you have the time.)

I recently got a very deep-dive into the nature of some fandoms by @recentadultburnout, @grapejuicegay, @lurkingshan, and @neuroticbookworm (thank you, friends!), and first off, there’s A LOTTTTTTT I don’t know by way of the interactions (or lack thereof) that show creators have with their fans. I really don’t know much about global internet fandoms and the nature of fans interacting with each other and/or show creators, and the history of the artistic (or not) impact of those interactions.

I was musing earlier today on how I wonder how Den Panuwat’s commentary on Playboyy compares with the results of the actual art that’s airing, and I surely feel that the social media that the Only Friends creative team posted created some high and unique expectations of that show that, I felt, were not at all ultimately met.

But I don’t know if this is at all unique for the global landscape of show creators to engage with their fandoms on the internet. All I know is that, as someone who’s passionate about facts and fair critiques of art — I’m not sure I want extraneous explanations of what’s happening in a dramatic piece of art if that art clearly didn’t work. (For a work in progress, I won’t write off Playboyy yet, because I think the aspiration and HUGE THEMES of this show are compelling enough to give it more than a fair share of leeway. But if it doesn’t work in the end — do I want to be told why it worked, when it didn’t work for me or my critical eye? I’m….not sure? I do love debate and engagement…but I think I’d have to see how that engagement plays out in the face of a piece of art that ultimately didn’t stand up to the amount of attention it received, like Only Friends.)

Sorry, I ended up musing more than I expected, but I ultimately do not know if the kind of online engagement we see from show creators in Thailand is unique to the global dramatic landscape — I’m hoping that some of the experts could chime in to provide context.

#thanks for the ask!#thai bl #how should i tag this #internet fandoms #online fandoms #how artists engage with fans #impacts of internet fandoms on art

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0nlythrowharrybeaux · 2 years ago

Text

Wonderful World - Part 9**

Hello Friends, here's the next part! I hope you like it! Things are happening!

Series Masterlist

Warnings: steamy kissing/making out and a little dry humping moment

WC: 10.5K

Celeste had been sitting silently before Harry for a couple minutes now as she attempted to start talking a few times but would stop. Diana, as promised, was outside in the waiting room, so she shouldn’t have felt any pressure to not share. But as he sat before her he recalled that Diana said she had been upset at her. So maybe she just had a lot on her mind.

“Are you not sure where to begin?” He finally asked and she nodded. “OK, are you feeling overwhelmed? Scared? Disappointed?” He asked throwing out some ideas.

“Ummm…confused and disappointed.” She said with a furrow in her brows.

“Is one more intense than the other?” He asked and she sighed.

“I think I’m more disappointed than confused.”

“Alright, let’s tackle the smaller one first.”

“What are you confused about?”

“My feelings…my feelings about Megan.” She said to Harry who hummed.

“Right, so I take it you’re having mixed feelings if you’re confused. Is that a fair assumption?”

“Ummm, yeah. I’m angry at her, of course but…she gave me this letter to apologize and she…she likes Geri, that’s why she was being mean to me. She thought Geri and I like each other.”

“Oh!” Harry said with surprise. He wasn’t expecting that.

“Yeah…and she said some stuff about her parents not being OK with it and how no one knows about this. I almost…” she sighed already feeling so guilty for even thinking of what she was gonna do, “I almost posted it online, a picture of the letter where she…says she likes girls.” She said shamefully and Harry frowned.

“Oh my god.” He said softly and she started to cry.

“I just want to get her back so bad! And I feel awful about it! But I shouldn’t because she deserves it! And I just don’t know what to do now!” She whimpered and Harry leaned forward and grabbed her hand.

“Look, you didn’t actually do it.”

“But I wanted to.”

“We all think of doing crazy things sometimes.” He said softly, “But you stopped yourself and that could’ve been really bad, yeah? Because that’s something private of hers that she’s entrusted you with all to give you the explanation you wanted.” He said and she nodded, “I’m proud of you for not going through with outing her. That can be very damaging.” He said to Celeste.

“I can’t believe I actually thought about that.” She said sadly.

“You’ve got to give yourself a break, Celeste. It’s only natural to want retribution after you’ve been wronged.” He said and she sighed as he let go of her hand, “What made you stop?”

“I just…know that it’s not right to do that to someone. And just thinking about that whole thing with her parents…it made me…sad for her. And as much as I want her gone…I just, don’t want more bad things to happen to her.”

“What Megan did to you was really, really bad. So if she gets expelled it’s not because of you. They’re her own actions. Your testimony is just going to help the board members context. And if you forgive her-”

“I don’t forgive her. I just feel bad for her.” Celeste clarified.

“Alright, that’s OK for now. But if you think you can move on from this and still be together in the same school then you can say that. But if after she’s apologized and explained you still don’t feel safe then you need to say that, even if you feel bad for her.”

“I think now that I know why…it’s ummm, it’s different. I thought she wanted to threaten me again when she was just trying to give me her letter…I think I just need to think about it some more.” She said and Harry nodded.

“Well if you need to talk about it before the meeting next week, you let me know. OK?”

“Ummm, actually I was wondering if you could ummm, go. T-to the meeting?” She asked nervously.

“Yeah, of course. If you want me there, of course I’ll be there.” He assured and she nodded.

“Thank you.” She said softly.

“S’what I’m here for. So now that we’ve kind of resolved that one, what’s the second thing about? All this disappointment?” He asked and she sighed.

“Megan said in her letter that she tried to kiss Geri one time and she rejected her, and then threatened her not to say anything. Since she got rejected, that’s what made her think Geri and I liked each other. So she knew why this whole time! And she never said anything!” Celeste raised her voice, “No wonder she was so invested and pushing me to tell someone! It’s so she could also get off the hook if Megan got in trouble!” She vented and Harry nodded as he listened, “Why would she do that? I mean, after everything that was going on and happening to me she never even told me! We could’ve both confronted Megan or something! But things didn’t have to go this far!” She said angrily.

“I see your point, but maybe Geri was also scared.”

“So she lets Megan take all her rage out on me to save herself? That’s called being a bad friend.” She said crossing her arms and well, she was right about that.

“Well, I mean, you’re right.” He said and she nodded.

“I know I am. I thought about it all weekend long.” She said and he grinned. If that wasn’t something she got from Diana.

“Well, you’re upset at Geri. You feel betrayed and maybe lied to. Do you still want to be friends with her or what would make it better?” He asked and she sighed.

“Of course I want to be friends with her still but I’m angry at her and I just…need space or I don’t know. I just can’t look at her without expecting an apology and it seems like she doesn’t think I need one.”

“Well, she doesn’t know that you know what Megan did and said to her.”

“That’s…true.”

“If any relationship is worth saving you need to speak about things before it’s too late. I know how you feel when you say that you want payback, I’ve felt that way before, maybe even your mum has.” He said and she sighed, “It’s especially hard when we feel that way towards someone we care for and trust, they’re human too and make mistakes and can hurt us.” He explained, “We’re responsible for our own feelings though and Geri is now probably sensing that you’re upset with her and you need to tell her why. If you want to be able to move past this with her and keep building trust you need to trust her with your hurt. And you need to trust that as someone who loves and cares about you, she’ll want to make it right.”

“What if she doesn’t?”

“Then maybe that’s not the kind of person worth having a friendship with right now.” He said honestly and she sighed. “Accountability matters, Celeste. If there’s anything I wish I could tell my teenage self it would be that - it would’ve saved me a lot of heartaches. And sometimes, when we’re hurt or angry we forget about that and just want to take matters into our own hands or if we’re the one who hurt someone we’re in denial that we’ve caused someone harm and so we just ignore it. And I’m not going to lie, it takes a big person to own up to a mistake when they realize it or get called out on it, give Geri the chance to do that.” He encouraged her and she nodded.

“I will.” She said back and he smiled, “And well, it’s kind of the same thing with my mom…I mean, she knew why Megan was doing the things she was and…she didn’t say anything to me.” She frowned, “We said no more secrets and she lied to me.”

“Well, maybe that’s something that she felt wasn’t hers to share. Just how you didn’t want to out her, maybe she felt the same. And it’s not necessarily out of protection for Megan, but just respect for her journey.” As Harry said this Celeste sighed and shook her head.

“That’s true… I don’t know why I get mad at my mom so much. She never even does anything to upset me.” She sighed, feeling so dumb for it and Harry chuckled.

“You’re 14, you’re supposed to be mad at your mum all the time. S’what teenagers do.” He said and she smiled.

“Were you mean to your parents?”

“I was a bit mean to them, yeah.” He nodded with a chuckle, “They were always so busy working and one year they forgot my birthday, so the next day I cut the power from the house and made them really late for an important work meeting.” He shared and she laughed softly.

“It felt good at first, seeing them in hysterics like that, but unfortunately it was a rather important meeting and it ended up causing them some complications.” He explained shamefully, “I never told them it was me.”

“Well maybe you should.” Celeste said and Harry smiled.

“Yeah, I think I will.” He confirmed and she smiled, “You know, we do this thing with the people who love us, especially parents; we push them away and we lash out at them and we sometimes put them through hell because we know that no matter what, they’ll always forgive us and they’ll always love us. Especially when you’ve got really great parents, like your mum, she’s a great parent from what I’ve seen.”

“Yeah, she’s the best.” Celeste smiled.

“It’s something we all do and we’ll do for as long as we have them in our lives! So it’s also important to show them your appreciation for loving us through everything, you know? So if you feel you’ve been particularly rough on her lately just say thanks or do something nice for her to make her feel appreciated.” He said and Celeste nodded.

“Yeah…I think I’ll do that soon. Maybe my uncle can help me.” She wondered allowed.

“That’s right, your uncle’s coming!”

“Yeah, he’s coming on Friday, we’re all gonna have a week together!” She said excitedly and Harry smiled.

“What’s your favorite thing about him?”

“Well, he does get me a bunch of stuff.” She confessed and Harry chuckled, “But mostly it’s that mom get’s really happy and she just seems less worried when he’s around. He like…makes her more fun in a way?” She said in a bit of a question, “I don’t know how to explain it, but like when he, Grace, and mum are together it’s just a lot of fun.” She explained and he was kind of jealous, he wanted to see that side of her.

“So everything is looking up then.” He smiled.

“Yeah, I guess it is.” She smiled back. For the rest of the session they talked a bit about her depressive symptoms just to ensure that she was dealing well with them and thankfully she was. Afterwards she paid him and as Harry was printing out the receipt for her to give to Diana he recalled a very important detail.

“Oh, by the way I’ve adopted Misty!” He said looking up to her and Celeste smiled and her eyes brightened.

“The little cat from outside?”

“Yeah.” He smiled, “I’m gonna pick her up tomorrow actually. No one had adopted her so I decided to listen to your advice and have her here at the office.”

“Good choice.” She said with a smile as she grabbed her backpack from the floor by the couch as Harry chuckled.

“Yeah, I’m excited.” He said.

“I can’t wait to see her next week.” Celeste said as she made her way to the door, “Have you bought her toys?”

“Not yet.”

“Well I’ll bring her one.” She said as Harry opened up the door for her and as they stepped out Diana started to stand from the seat she was on, “Mom, we need to get Dr. Styles a cat toy. He adopted a cat.” She said as soon as she saw Diana.

“Oh, congrats! Welcome to fatherhood.” Diana joked with a smile and he chuckled.

“Yeah, thanks.” He responded as he looked into her eyes. His pupils were getting wider and his heart was racing as he thought about the kisses they shared just two days ago. Diana bashfully looked away and down at her shoes.

“So ummm, does this cat have a name?”

“Celeste called her Misty, so I just stuck with that name.” He said and Diana looked to Celeste.

“I think she’s just living vicariously through you.” Diana chuckled and Harry laughed and then Celeste looked at her.

“What does that mean?” She pouted.

“It just means that you’re like experiencing what someone else is doing through them. Like you’ve always wanted a cat, so now you’re really excited about Dr. Styles’ new cat as if it were happening to you.”

“Oh.” She said as Diana explained.

“Yeah, will this cat be here?”

“Yeah, she’ll be here.”

“Oh perfect.” Diana said and Celeste smiled, “I give you full permission to tell her to clean out the litter box when she comes in.” She said and Celeste giggled.

“I wouldn’t mind.” She said to Harry and he chuckled as he just hugged Celeste into his side without really thinking about it. She was a bit surprised at first, but then easily rested into his embrace, which is when Harry realized that he had hugged her.

“Oh! I forgot something!” She suddenly gasped and pulled out of his hold and started to dig through her backpack, “The jazz band is gonna play a few songs at the spring concert and I just wanted to invite you so you can see me play guitar.” She said handing him the little invitation flyer that had been sent home with all the band students.

“Oh, thank you. I’ll check and see if I’m free that evening, OK?”

“So you’ll come?” She asked excitedly.

“I’ll try to.” He assured with a smile and that seemed good enough for Celeste. Of course he wanted to go, but he felt like he should talk to Diana about this first, just to make sure it was alright, “And ummm, Diana I just wanted to let you know that Celeste asked me to go to the board meeting with you guys. I hope that’s alright?” He asked. They had talked about this before, but he just wanted to run it by her again.

“Yeah, of course.” She assured and he nodded.

“Perfect. Well, I’ll be seeing you next week.” He said to them both and soon they were off. But not without Harry and Diana stealing a final glance and she smiled at him as she made it through the door. Harry bit his lip to minimize the smile on his face. He was pleased that she didn’t seem to regret what happened between them.

Harry spent some time going through intake paperwork for 3 more referrals he’d just been sent and before he knew it, it was nearing 9pm and he sighed at how the time had escaped him yet again. Before leaving for the night he had to rearrange some of the furniture in his office to be able to bring up the things he had purchased for Misty that were in his car. He had to pick her up tomorrow and he would see how she liked this space. When he’d kept her overnight that one time they found her and he took her home she just hid somewhere for the night. She even got lost in his house that morning, it wasn’t huge per se, but it was large for her, so he’d try having her at his practice primarily. He spent most of his days there anyway. It took him more time to set up the tower and the self cleaning litter box, but it had to get done tonight. He was just getting back on his feet after tightening some screws on the tower when his phone dinged with a text notification. He walked over to his desk and set down the screwdriver with a smile when he saw Diana’s name. He immediately opened it up. And he smiled as he read the message where she said how Celeste had been talking about inviting him to the spring concert for a few weeks now and that she knew he had class, but she was OK with it if he decided to go, to just let him know so that she saved him a seat. He bit his lip as he typed out his response.

***********

Diana was now laying in bed, it was nearing 10pm and she just wanted to talk to Harry. He had looked so handsome today in his button-up and slacks. His facial hair was also a bit longer than when she had seen him a few days prior and it just made her want to see what kissing him like that would feel like. She was eagerly awaiting a response to her text and was surprised when seconds later her phone chimed with his response.

Harry:

Are you just saying yes so that we have another excuse to see each other?

Y/N:

Of course not! But it’s not a bad secondary effect:)

She then saw that he had started typing and then stopped and then 15 minutes had gone by and he still hadn’t responded to her. She was disappointed, truly. So she sat up and finished the last bit of tea that she had been sipping on before bed and set the mug back on her bedside table, blew out her candle, and proceeded to go brush her teeth. When she made her way back into her bedroom she went over to shut the curtains to her balcony when suddenly a little clank sounded against the glass and she gasped at the startle it gave her and then it happened again. When she opened the door to check it out she saw they were little acorns from the tree in front of her house. And she glanced over the balcony and saw none other than Harry in her back yard with a smile on his face. Her heart started to race and she laughed quietly at the surprise of seeing him there.

“What are you doing?” She whisper-shouted to him and he shrugged.

“Just wanted to talk to you a little more I guess.” He responded and she shook her head with a smile.

“Give me a sec.” She said before heading back inside and then peeking her head out to the hallway. Her bedroom was a bit more secluded from Celeste’s and the guest room, but Celeste’s light was off and so she made her way towards her room and peeked inside and saw that Celeste was asleep with her headphones on. She felt guilty for a few moment as she took Celeste in, sleeping peacefully. Harry made her happy though. She hated feeling like following her heart was wrong, but she literally felt a void without him, he made her feel fully alive again and that wasn’t a feeling she had experienced in a long, long time. At least since Celeste had been born. She sighed and closed the door quietly before making her way downstairs and over to the kitchen. She switched on one of the low lights and it allowed her to see Harry already waiting at the patio door and she smiled when their eyes met as she unlatched it and quietly slid it open just enough to let him get inside and then she locked it back up before turning around to face him. “You’re insane for this, you know that?” She whispered with a disbelieving smile and he grinned as he stepped closer and held her face as he started to lean down towards her.

“Yeah? Am I?” He asked lowly as he invaded her space; his delicious cologne was wafting around her now and his warmth around her bare shoulders was so inviting. Diana swore that she was about to melt in his hands. She nodded and he smiled, “You make me feel like I can do whatever, whenever I want.” He whispered as their lips hovered over each others and just as they were about to meet his stomach grumbled loudly which made them both snigger quietly. “Sorry, I skipped dinner because I was building the little tower for Misty.” He explained and she hummed.

“I made lasagne, can warm you up some if you want?” She offered as she peered up at him and as if on cue his stomach growled again and she smiled, “I’ll take that as a yes.”

“Yes, please.” He whispered and she soon was taking the container out of the fridge and serving him a generous slice per his indication before putting it in the microwave while he put the container back in the fridge.

“So what’s this unexpected visit about?” She asked him and he smirked.

“You made lasagne! I couldn’t pass that up.” He joked and she rolled her eyes at his antics. But he soon reached for her hand and came up close to her again, “In all honesty you just looked really pretty today and I wanted to tell you in person. And I wanted to see you.” He said quietly and she smiled coyly as her eyes stayed on his own. “You look pretty.” He said, “And you also did earlier in your work outfit, but this is nice too.” He complimented and she licked over lips nervously. Being so close to him made her feel like she was electric, every exposed part of her skin was standing at attention, yearning to feel his hands on her. Just as he started to create a steamier environment the microwave dinged to alert her that the food was hot.

“Oh, let me get that.” She said as she hurried over to the drawer to grab him a fork and then his plate out of the microwave.

“God, that smells divine.” He said softly and she smiled as she turned back to him and handed him the plate. “Should we go upstairs, you know in case Celeste wakes up or something?” He asked and she smirked.

“Are you just trying to get into my bedroom?” She asked, eyes narrowed in suspicion and he chuckled.

“No! I’m just looking out for you.” He assured with a mischievous grin and she shook her head before grabbing two water bottles out of the fridge and leading them up the stairs quietly. When they finally made it into her room Harry hummed as that familiar scent of the same candle they had permeated the air. Almost as if she had burned it recently. The light coming from her bedside lamp was rather dim and he got another look around as he toed off his shoes and she rounded the bed to get on it. She then padded the spot beside her and Harry smiled as he handed her his plate of food as he got comfortable.

“You don’t want to get in?” She asked as he just settled down over her covers.

“I do, but I’m in my street clothes.” He said.

“Oh, duh. Do you want a blanket?” She asked and he nodded. She handed him back his plate of food which became his main focus until she was on all fours, ass in the air right in front of him, specially in those flimsy little sleeping shorts she had on. She was trying to get the blanket from the storage bench at the foot of her bed without getting up. Harry licked over his lips as he focused on her bum right before him, he couldn’t see an underwear line anywhere under the material of her shorts and it made him start to feel hungry for something else. He looked away and just focused on his plate of food until a few moments later she was drawing back with a blanket for him to use and she laid it over his lap as he continued eating.

“You seriously made this?” He asked after swallowing a bite and she nodded, “It’s phenomenal.” He said before going in for another bite and she smiled.

“Glad you like it.” She responded as she laid down and turned to face him.

“Well, while I sit here and eat, tell me more about yourself. What’s your favorite song right now?” He asked and she hummed.

“That’s such a hard question.” She sighed before rolling on her back and thinking. She had been listening to a lot of John Mayer for some reason and one specific song she kept humming constantly, “I love them all so much I can’t possibly pick.” She gushed and he nodded as he swallowed down his bite of food.

“Yeah, it’s a great album.” He agreed, “I like it too.” He smiled. He liked it because there was a specific song that reminded him of her. And he wondered if it was the same for her; if there were things in her life that just made her think of him and smile. “So do you like to cook?” He asked her, “Or is it like simply parent duties?” He asked and she smiled as she rolled over to face him again.

“I enjoy it. It’s peaceful or me. Like it’s orderly and gratifying because you get to see your work pay off. And also creative, which is nice because I don’t have so much time to do creative things as much as before.” She said and he hummed in understanding, “Do you cook for yourself or do you have like a housekeeper who comes and spoon feeds you?” She asked teasingly.

“I cook! Really fucking well I might add.” He said and she giggled quietly.

“I believe you.” She assured with a smile and he rolled his eyes, “What’s your favorite thing to make?” She asked and he smiled.

“Mmmm, I make a delicious spinach puff pastry. It’s got cheese inside too. It’s spectacular.” He hummed.

“Yeah, that actually sounds amazing.”

“It really is and well, I make my own dough, so it’s better than-”

“Wait you make your own dough?”

“Yeah, s’not too bad.” He said nonchalantly.

“Harry.” She said seriously and he frowned slightly.

“What?” He asked in concern.

“Are you a baker?” She asked seriously before smiling and he smiled down at his plate of food.

“Yeah.” He confirmed and she cooed softly.

“That’s so cute!” She exclaimed quietly.

“Cute?” He asked and she nodded as he took his final bite of lasagne.

“Yeah, like baking is cute.” She smiled and he slightly frowned as he continued chewing his food, not realizing that in his rush to speak he had sauce smeared at the corner of his mouth and she giggled.

“Baking is anything but cute.” He said and she hummed in amusement.

“Yeah? Tell me more about that.” She asked, propping herself up on her elbow.

“Well, first off it requires a lot of skill. Technical, culinary, and patisserie skills!” He pointed out as he set the plate down on the bedside table on the side he was on, “More than that, it requires good instincts, it requires knowledge about whatever you’re making. Like you need to know the consistencies of things. It requires precision and focus and artistic skills as well. So a lot of imagination goes into it and-”

“Yeah, so it’s cute.” She said and he rolled his eyes.

“You’re really reducing the one skill I have to it being cute?” He said and she smiled.

“Yeah, because I can’t say all the stuff you just did every time. I’m not undermining you.” She assured and he glanced at her briefly.

“I don’t know…wouldn’t be the first time…” he teased pettily about their most recent argument and she scoffed in disbelief.

“Oh wow…OK.” She said trying to hold in her laughter, “I…deserved that.” She finally said and he chuckled as he got comfy beside her, facing her.

“I’m messing with you.”

“I know.” She smiled and he did as well, “Maybe I’m just a little jealous because I’m a really bad baker.” She confessed as she brought her thumb to the corner of his mouth and wiped away the sauce he had smeared there with a smile and turned to wipe it off on a tissue.

“Are you really?” He asked as she got comfortable again.

“Yeah, Celeste has guilted me about this since she was in like the 4th grade. For all the bake sales I always just bought something because…I’m a disaster.” She giggled and he chuckled. “She’s gonna have one for this little band camp trip they do over the summer and she’s already scoping out some of the higher end pastry places so I don’t bring in those little brownie bites from Vons for the 5th year in a row.” She snorted as she told Harry the story who was laughing along quietly.

“Too bad they don’t do lasagne sales.” He joked and she sighed.

“I know…” she pouted.

“I mean…you could take that. Technically it’s baked, is it not?” He asked and she smiled.

“It is…imagine me turning up to a bake sale with a lasagne.” She laughed and he giggled, “Celeste would kill me.” She chuckled and he did as well.

“I can literally picture her completely unamused expression.” He said and Diana sniggered, she knew what expression he was talking about, “Oh god, that’s too funny.” He sighed, “Well I for one agree with Celeste, you can’t take those brownies from Vons. And if you won’t be taking lasagne, maybe I can teach you to bake something? Or if you really suck that bad,” he grinned at her and she rolled her eyes, “I can make something for you to take. Ooh, maybe a baclava?” He asked.

“You can make baclava?” She asked and he nodded.

“Yeah, the hardest part is the flake pastry. But once you’ve got a good lamination technique down it’s not that challenging.” He assured.

“I think I’d have to sample first if you did want to contribute something to the bake sale.” She said and he chuckled.

“Yeah, anything you want I’ll take a stab at it.” He said softly as he tucked her hair behind her ear and she smiled, “I’m gonna kiss you now, OK?” He asked.

“Please.” She whispered and Harry quickly moved his body to hover over hers as their lips met slowly. Diana felt relieved as the warmth of his body seemed to melt over her the second their lips met. A kiss that started out sweet and gentle was quickly intensifying as he rested more of his weight over her body. Their lips moved together eagerly and Harry was buzzing with the way her fingers played with and weaved into his hair. He knelt up a bit to straddle her thigh and his hands found her hips. He wanted her, he wanted her so badly it was making him lose sight of any what-ifs or doubts he had about what they were doing. Their kiss was feverish, bordering on desperate as he sucked on her bottom lip as his knee brushed against her center. This tiny moment of friction made Diana tense up against him and her entire body grew hot and she felt Harry’s lips widen in a grin as he released her bottom lip and her eyes fluttered open to meet his.

“What is it?” He asked coyly and she bit on her lip as her cheeks flushed pink, “Hmm? Tell me.” He said softly. His lips barely brushed with hers as he spoke and then his nose lightly nudged her nose, urging her to respond to him. He was so smug it made her want to strangle him and kiss him at the same time. So she decided to pull his face lower to kiss him again and they easily fell back into their intimate moment as her tongue flicked against his lower lip. She could feel his grip on her hips tightening as his tongue teased her own. He pressed his knee up against her center again and this time her beautiful and breathy moan rang into his parted mouth. Diana’s skin was littered in goosebumps as the friction from his knee made her hyper aware of the throbbing of her clit and just how turned on she was for him. Harry pulled her down against his knee again by her hips and her eyes lazily blinked open to meet his own. Her pupils were blown wide as were his as he searched for any indication to stop in her eyes. “Again?” He asked her and she nodded as she bit her lip, bracing herself for the much needed friction and this time she ground into him as well.

“It feels so good.” She whispered and he kissed her heatedly and sloppily. They were breathing so hard and it was starting to feel hotter between them. Her hands were roaming the expanse of his back, she wanted to feel all the very well built muscles she had seen on him a few days ago, but it was a bit hard with the vest he had on. She parted their lips for a second, “C-can you get this off?” She asked as she tugged at the chest of his vest and he nodded and knelt up to yank it over his head before he dipped down to connect their lips. Harry smiled into the kiss as her hands roamed up and down his back, feeling the contours of his fit physique through his dress shirt. She wanted him so bad, she kept grinding down against the top of his knee, right below his thigh, and it was very quickly building her up. She hadn’t had a sexual relationship with someone in a while, but he seemed to press all of her buttons and she wanted more. She relaxed into his hold as his hands slid up to her waist and wrapped around her.

“Gonna flip us.” He warned her and she nodded as they rolled over and immediately started to make out. Y/N’s hands landed on his firm chest before sliding up his neck and holding his jaw as their lips smacked together quietly. She was hesitant to lay all her weight on him for fear of what she might do upon feeling his own arousal, but it was a need at this point. So she went ahead and just relaxed her hips to press against his own and she immediately felt the large outline of his erection straining in his trousers. It was tucked off to the side, but she could feel it against her inner thigh as she very gently rocker her body against his own.

Harry’s hands were very low on her hips and he was a bit nervous to push her too far too soon. He knew it had been a while for her and that she had so much going on, but it was hard for him to control himself around her, especially when he knew that she wanted him too. When she rested her full weight on him and pressed against his cock he wanted so badly to thrust up against her. His fingers were surely to leave bruises from how hard he was gripping her amid their torrid make out. He felt like he was on fire and his cock was leaking, he could feel it dampening his skin. He parted their lips for a moment and her eyes looked into his, all hazy and fucked out. His hands smoothed down the round of her ass and he held off from doing anything more than that before asking.

“Can I touch you here?” He asked and she nodded meekly as he started to smooth his hands over her bum. She hadn’t realized how big his hands were until they were covering a lot of ground very quickly. He then slipped them under the hem of her shorts and started to pat and knead at her bare bottom.

With more of a fire under her belly now she leaned in and started to kiss her way up his jaw. Gently nipping and sucking on his warm and smooth skin. As soon as she started to grind against his thigh he began aiding her movements and pace. She sighed in contentment at the friction being provided, she could feel him just fine through her flimsy sleeping shorts and it was making her lose her mind. She nibbled his earlobe carefully and he tensed up at the slight tickle from her breath against his ear.

“D’you want me to go faster?” She asked and he nodded.

“Please, baby. Please, just a little faster.” He whispered and she picked up the pace of her grinding over his cock and he exhaled shakily, “Mmm, that’s good. So good.” He panted. Her soft whines and whimpers against his ear were driving him absolutely insane. He wanted her to consume him, he would give her everything she could ever want or die trying, he just wanted her. He started to grind up against her as well, intensifying this already heated moment between them. They were both panting and relishing in the opportunity to be this close with each other, “Kiss me.” He whispered his request and Diana immediately put her lips back on his. This helped muffle their already soft sounds some more, but the messy and urgent kissing and dry humping were making her lose her composure, she wanted more. She needed more of him.

“Har-” she was cut off as her phone started to ring loudly from her bedside table and she shot up to grab it and silence it. They both sat quietly for a moment to ensure there was no movement in the house and she then glanced down to her phone and saw it was Grace. As soon as her name disappeared from the screen a text from her came in and Y/N frowned as she read it: “Please tell me you’re awake. I really need you. I may have ruined everything with Henry!”

“What’s the matter?” He asked as his hands smoothed up and down her thighs and she just handed the phone over to him as she slowly got off of his lap, “She texted again, she’s outside.” He said and Diana’s eyes widened.

“What?”

“Yeah, look.” Harry said with concern and she grabbed her phone and read the text at least three times before the words registered.

“Shit! I’m gonna have to sneak you out the way you came.” She said and he grinned, “Stop, this is serious! I’m lying to Celeste and now to Grace!” She sighed in exasperation and he frowned.

“Maybe don’t lie then.” He suggested and she shook her head and sighed, “I like you, you like me…what’s the crime in that?” He asked and she scoffed.

“Harry, Celeste is incredibly opposed to the idea of us even being friends! I can’t take this from her, I can’t take you from her.” She said with frustration and Harry sighed. She was right, what was he thinking, showing up like this and sneaking around with her like a pair of teens. It was irresponsible.

“You’re right, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have even come. I just wanted to see you so badly and I…I just can’t stop thinking about you.” He confessed to her and she frowned.

“I can’t stop thinking about you either.” She responded and he sat up and hugged her tight as she rested her head on his shoulder. “This fucking sucks.” She mumbled and he smiled sadly.

“I know, baby.” He sighed, “C’mon then.” He said as he rubbed her back and she pulled away from him and grabbed her phone texting Grace that she’d be down in a minute. Harry grabbed his keys, phone, and wallet and he saw that Henry had just called him, “Henry just called me.” He said and Diana frowned.

“Look, how about we just say that you were really worried over the board meeting next week? I’m sure Grace’ll understand that.” He suggested, “That way you don’t have to sneak me out.” He said and she bit her lip pensively.

“Yeah, that…that would be good. She tends to be suspicious when I’m evasive.” She said and Harry nodded. She grabbed his vest from the ground and he grabbed his empty plate and very quietly followed her down the stairs. He shot a glance at Celeste’s door feeling a tiny hint of remorse for what he had done tonight. He threw on his vest and ran his fingers through his hair as Diana went to let Grace in.

“Harry’s here by the way.” He heard Diana say lowly as they came into he kitchen and he just glanced up at them as they walked in.

“Hey.” She sniffled.“I kinda left Henry stranded at the bar, he might call you to come get him.” Grace explained and Harry reached down into his pocket remembering that Henry had in fact called him.

“Oh, he did actually.” He said and Grace nodded, “Are you alright?” He asked first and she nodded.

“Yeah, ummm…I just think that he feels like he’s wasting time with me.” She explained, “Or well, that’s what he said actually. I already explained to you why I needed to go more slowly and I was trying to get that across to him, but I think it came out in a way where it made it seem like I’m not serious and..ughhh. I’m sure he’ll explain it to you.” She said and Harry nodded.

“Maybe I can help clear things up.” He said with a smile and Grace sighed in some relief.

“If you could, that’d be amazing. It’s really lucky you were here.” She said and then her eyebrows creased. “Wait. Why are you here? I thought you guys were avoiding each other outside of therapy or whatever.” She said with confusion.

“I called him because I’m just really worried about Celeste. She finally read the letter the other girl gave to her and she explained everything that’s going on with her and I’m just worried about how that’ll affect the board meeting and…yeah.” She sighed and Grace nodded.

“Yeah, that’s gonna be interesting.” Grace said as she took a seat.

“Yeah, Celeste asked me to go to the meeting as well so I figured we should all be on the same page.” Diana nodded in agreement, “Well, I’m gonna go get Henry.” Harry said and they both nodded.

“Right. I’ll walk you out.” Diana said and he nodded, “Gracie, there’s water in the kettle if you want to turn it on for some tea.” Diana said and she nodded. Soon Diana was walking Harry to the front door and she stepped out, shivering as soon as she did and quietly shut the door behind her, “Geez, it’s freezing.” She complained and Harry smiled as he pulled her into his chest by her waist.

“You didn’t have to actually come outside.” He said with a soft chuckle and she smiled before she glanced up at him.

“I did. Need to give you something.” She said as she slid her hands up his chest and looped them around his neck and he smiled.

“Yeah? What’s that?” he asked coyly as he dipped down to skim his nose along her own.

“A proper send off.” She whispered and in seconds their lips melded together in a slow, mournful parting kiss. It was so hard to stop once they started, they both just wanted to keep kissing until they couldn’t breathe, but they didn’t have that luxury right now. So after a few more pecks she was letting him go and waving as he rushed out of the gate. She went back inside and found Grace looking through her selection of tea.

“Since when are you guys buddies?” She asked with a slight smile.

“Ever since we have one very compelling common interest.” She said and Grace raised her eyebrows up.

“That’s true…” she said, “Is he good with her?” She asked and Diana smiled and nodded.

“Yeah, she’s really taken to him. And well, just recently I’ve been more involved in everything. After the whole instagram thing happened Celeste asked me to join their sessions, but she had apparently felt pressured by me to do so and like…he talked to me about it because Celeste was like super evasive and shut down in the sessions and he basically said that I was the reason for her change in session. And I went off on the poor guy. Basically told him that maybe he just sucked at his job-”

“Oh my god!”

“I know…God, I’ve never been so crazy in my life! But he was so professional despite that. A few days letter is when Celeste ran off and we had a chance to really talk while we looked for her and like, he really cares about her, you know? And I apologized for what I said to him, like he just has her best interest at heart and it just really made me trust him a lot more.” She explained and then Grace hummed.

“I think he has a crush on you.” She smiled.

“Ha! That’s…not even…like he’s not an option anyway.” She said all flustered.

“Oh my god! Oh my god.” She said, “You have a crush on him!” She squealed quietly and Diana went all red in the face. Good thing the lighting was very low right now.

“He’s good-looking, OK? That’s all. Of course, I get flustered around him, are you kidding me.” She fibbed and Grace hummed.

“Yeah, he is quite handsome.” She concurred.

“Well enough deflecting. What happened?” Diana asked, shifting the topic from her to Grace.

“Well, over the weekend I was talking to Harry about what happened with my parents and how it’s kind of hard for me to just…allow myself to basically surrender to those feelings I have for Henry. Like I want to trust him and I want this to work, you know? I’ve never felt so much for someone in so long and it is scary to me. Like…what if he’s a bad guy and I like him so much that I can’t see any red flags and shit. And like I haven’t told him that I love him even though he’s said it. And like I explained to him why it’s taking me so long and that I don’t know if I even want to say that to him without really thinking it through properly and it upset him so much! That’s when he then said that not having any reassurance from me made him feel like he was just wasting his time, which hurt so much! And I just said that I was sorry for wasting his time and I just left.” She said tearfully and Diana nodded in understanding as Grace sighed loudly.

“Sometimes we can…talk ourselves in circles because we’re scared. Like I know that you know, that Henry is an amazing guy! And yes, it’s fine to take your time and take things at your own pace, but you also need to make sure that your partner’s needs are being met. And yeah, sometimes that requires putting your guard down, but the right person won’t view that as as sign of weakness, they’ll love and appreciate you trusting them with your vulnerability and maybe that’s what he needs from you. Just a sign that you do love him even if you’re not ready to verbalize it yet.” Diana explained and Grace looked frustrated.

“I said yes to being his girlfriend! I told him what a huge deal that was! You’d think that’s more than enough for him to know how I feel! And what about my needs and my past experiences? I also have a right to go through my process and to take as much time as I need.”

“You certainly do, but that’s not this. You’re just afraid and you’re holding back. And that fear is making Henry feel like you don’t trust him and that you don’t reciprocate his deeper feelings for you, which to be fair to him, can make him feel like he’s putting in all this effort for nothing. And he also has a right to walk away if he doesn’t feel loved or supported in your relationship - he might feel like he’s giving and giving, but getting nothing in return. You’re doing to him what you’re afraid of him doing to you.” Diana said and Grace immediately frowned.

“What? No.” She said defensively and Diana sighed.

“You are, Grace.” She said again, “I know it’s scary to put your heart and feelings out there after everything your family has endured, but when you look at Henry and feel anger or doubt or whatever else, you need to confront those thoughts with the hard fact and inarguable logic that Henry’s not your dad. No other man in this world is your dad except your dad.” Diana said and Grace’s frown softened.

“Maybe not but what if he turns out to be exactly like my dad and ruins everything?” She asked and Diana sighed.

“Well, that’s just a risk you have to take.” Diana said simply, “We take far greater risks every single day. And this person makes you happy. You’re so happy with him, Grace. Don’t let your fear take that away from you.” Diana said to her with so much zeal and sincerity. Perhaps it was because in a way she was also saying this to herself.

For the first time in years she had met someone who appealed to her on every level. His intellect, his physique, his way of challenging her, his manner, his care and protectiveness over Celeste - everything about Harry made her feel alive. And he wanted her! There were a lot of things holding her back from allowing herself to fall for him, but she was slowly losing that battle. She wanted to stop fighting, she really did, but it wasn’t the time. This was a boundary set up by her daughter and she needed to respect it for her own well being. It was painful, to relinquish her own happiness for her daughter, but that’s part of being a parent - sacrifice. She made that choice when she decided to keep her baby all those years ago and she didn’t regret it for a second. But right now it was so hard because letting someone like Harry pass her by just felt like a really huge mistake, she felt it in her gut. But being with him would cause her daughter harm and she would betray her trust, which was also wrong to do - they both just seemed like really shitty options and as Grace hugged her back she couldn’t help but feel her heart breaking as well.

*********

“I’m so sorry, mate.” Harry said as soon as Henry got in his car. He had told him to wait for him at the bar and not get an uber, they really needed to talk.

“S’fine.” He sighed as Harry took off towards Henry’s place.

“It’ not fine. What happened?”

“I just feel like I’m doing everything I can to show Grace that I’m not going to hurt her. I’ve taken it slow how she’s wanted but like…I’m in love with her, you know that. You know that I think she’s the one, but it doesn’t seem like she wants that and I don’t want to keep giving it my all and not get anything back. I told her that I felt like I was wasting my time with her…and I was frustrated, like I’m obviously not wasting time, I love her. But I feel like it’s kind of one-sided and that’s super shitty, you know?” He said and Harry nodded.

“Yeah, I can imagine. If she’s not ready to verbally tell you that she loves you, what would it take for you to feel like she’s still invested?” He asked and Henry sighed and shrugged.

“I don’t know…I mean, what else could make me feel like she loves me besides her saying it.” He chuckled and Harry smiled.

“Well, anything she could do? I don’t know, what’s your love language?” He asked and Henry grinned.

“Words of affirmation.” He said and Harry sputtered on a laugh.

“Well, you’re fucked with that one, mate.” He said and Henry chuckled as well, “I’ll affirm you with my words.” Harry said and Henry shook his head.

“Please, spare me.” He mumbled and Harry scoffed.

“You don’t even know what I’m gonna say!”

“If it’s something stupid-”

“It’s not! I swear!” Harry assured with a grin and Henry sighed.

“Fine, go.”

“Last weekend when Grace said she needed to ask me something, she explained to me that she knows that you’d never hurt her the way her dad did her mom but that she’s just afraid to put herself in the line of fire. She thinks you’re too good to be true and it’s just waiting for the bubble to burst. She gets really in her head about letting her guard down, I told her to trust her gut and she has a great feeling about you. I think she might even love you, she’s just hesitant and you can’t blame her for that. Do something for her that reminds her of that good gut feeling you gave her from the start, man.” Henry smiled at Harry and nodded, “Was that good or too stupid?” He asked with a grin and Henry scoffed which made Harry smirk as he turned back to the road.

*************

It was midnight now and Grace and Diana were in her bed watching a random romcom to make Grace believe that love conquered all. They were mostly quiet, just giggling every now and again when something funny happened on screen. That is until Grace glanced to Diana.

“Are you actually interested in dating or do you just do it because people bug you about it?” She asked and Diana giggled.

“I am interested, it’s just that it gets a little more complicated with Celeste.”

“That’s just an excuse. How is Celeste getting in the way of you finding your true love?” She asked with a smirk and Diana chuckled and thought, "Grace literally has no idea.”

“You know, the more I spend time with Harry the more I think you’d be an excellent fit. I mean, Celeste likes him if that’s what you’re worried about? And he likes her-”

“She’s his patient, of course he has to kind of like her.”

“But it’s more than that, you can tell he cares for her.” She explained and Diana bit her lip as she recalled how he was when she had that panic attack; he literally was beside himself. He himself just froze as if it were happening to him, the level of empathy was one even beyond that of a professional. And well, when she had run off and he found her and she so easily scooted into his side, and even today after session when he pulled her in for a hug without really thinking about it, it surprised her as well, but she once again fit easily into his side. But he said he didn’t want kids…he literally made sure he wouldn’t have any kids…she needed to stop being delusional.

“Well maybe he has a huge soft spot for kids because he’s told me he doesn’t want kids.”

“I mean…maybe he doesn’t want his own biological kids. Maybe adoption is something he’s open to?” Grace said and Diana rolled her eyes.

“You’re reaching so fucking far right now that you’re basically off the end of the cliff, by the way.” Diana giggled and Grace shrugged.

“A girl can dream for her friend, can’t she?” She said and Diana smiled, but then felt guilty for lying to her about all of this, if there was anyone she could trust it would be her best friend.

“Ummm, actually I have to tell you something.” Diana said softly as she sat up in the darkness and reached for the water at the bedside table.

“That doesn’t sound good.” Grace said as she turned to her, just how Harry had done just a few hours before. She got back and faced Grace as she sighed.

“It’s not bad per se, but it’s…a little messy.” She explained and Grace looked a bit confused.

“Go on…”

“So, Harry and I had met before you introduced us because of Celeste, I told you that.” Grace nodded, “But…from the start there’s just been this…pull that I can’t even begin to describe. Like it feels so good, but it makes my heart ache and yearn for the next time. And he feels it too. And we flirt and then we stay away because he can’t be dating a client’s parent, that’s just asking for a lot of trouble. And when we were at the concert and I went to the bathroom, he came after me and he kissed me-”

“Wait what?!” Grace gasped quietly with a huge smile on her face and Diana nodded.

“He kissed me and I…kissed back. And I felt so bad and that’s why I got all weird afterwards.” She explained, “And well, Celeste thought that we were dating and that’s why she took off the other week and when we were looking for her he just said all these heart-wrenchingly beautiful things about how he wants to know more about me, but given Celeste’s reaction to it, it would never work. But then we kissed again-”

“Wait, when do you find the time?” Grace asked and she giggled.

“Ummm this last one was on Saturday morning, I ran a little further than usual and ended up at a park by his place, just down the main street. Apparently he lives a few minutes away.” She explained and Grace smiled.

“And let me guess, you were not talking about Celeste earlier, you were just feeding him dinner and making out with him?” She asked with an excited grin and Diana blushed.

“Kinda.” She gushed and Grace squealed.

“This is amazing!”

“It could be but Celeste clearly feels very strongly about this and I don’t want to cause her any harm or hurt when she’s already going through so much, you know? Before anything Harry is her therapist, I can’t take him from her when she clearly doesn’t want that to happen.” She said and Grace sighed.

“Freaking Celeste.” She joked and Diana smiled.

“I mean, she’s not wrong. It’d be weird if your mom was dating your doctor or teacher or something and knew all the inner workings of you from a professional standpoint.”

“True…”

“Yeah, I just…I could really fall for this person. Like, he’s so wonderful and I like that he pushes me and challenges me, I like how he sees me and it makes me want to be kinder to myself. I mean, I think I’m a pretty great person you know, but he makes me want to be better. Isn’t that what we should all strive for? A person who makes us feel whole and like the best version of ourself?” She asked and Grace sighed.

“Yeah, that’s lovely, Di.” She agreed with a sympathetic smile, “I’m sorry it’s like this.”

“It’s not your fault or anyone’s really, but I just…feel a bit annoyed I guess that this is how this is. Like we’ve tried to stay away and one way or another we end up together again, like life just keeps pushing us back and I also can’t ignore that.”

“Then don’t. Maybe when everything gets resolved with Celeste she won’t care if you date him.”

“He’s her therapist, just because the bullying thing gets resolved doesn’t mean she won’t need therapy, you know?”

“Well find her a new one. A girl maybe, I’m sure it might be awkward for her to talk about some other things with Harry. I think that maybe right now she’s kind of guarding him because she feels like he can protect her. Not that you can’t, but I mean, maybe it has to do with her dad, you know? Like she’s missing that experience and she’s finding surrogates for what he would give her if he were here.” She explained and Diana nodded.

“Yeah, maybe so…Like I want to give her that, but when I considered dating Gabe she totally flipped out on me, so I don’t know.”

“Well what about Gabe, don’t you like him?”

“I do, like as a person, and he’s super hot-”

“I was just about to say.” Grace giggled.

“Yeah, but ummm…it doesn’t feel like it does with Harry.” She explained, “Maybe I just need to settle for a fraction of that, like not everything has to feel like some well orchestrated plan from the universe for you to be happy, you know?”

“That’s true, but why would you choose the mediocre thing when you could have the best thing?” Grace said and Diana sighed.

“You know, he’s adopting a cat that Celeste saw on his fire escape.” She said and Grace cooed, “I know. She started calling the cat Misty and he’s named it Misty, guess he’s picking her up tomorrow and he’s gonna have it in the office; he might say it’s for some other reason, but I’m like 80% sure it’s because of her.” She said and Grace smiled.

“He’s literally so cute! The cutest.”

“Yeah, he is.” Diana sighed with a sad smile.

As sad as this made her, she needed to be composed for next week. Her brother would be arriving on Friday evening and be spending a whole week with them; she hadn’t heard about her mother yet, but she had a feeling she would soon. She still felt weird about the Megan situation and she was sure Celeste did too. She wondered if she had even talked to Geri about what had happened with her and Megan…and what did Harry tell her in session today about all of it? There was just a lot going on and literally, the only person who had helped tone down the noise was him. When she was around Harry she felt like her 18 year old self-again, confident, lively, energetic, optimistic about the future…she felt like he was the kind of person who would alter her future.

Let me know what you think of this part!

Taglist will be resumed once shadowbanning is lifted!

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euphoricfilter · 1 year ago

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me wondering why if anon has such a problem with kpop fans and Tumblr users they’re literally on Tumblr ranting on a kpop author’s blog 🧐 some people just have no sense but sending you lots of love!! I hope you do continue with the fic because it’s so important and validating for people who identify as gender-fluid/agender to see that kind of representation when most spaces in the world are not built to accommodate them💕

yeah i don’t exactly get it.. i think it all just escalated when they decided to bring race into the question and imply i was being racist?? and then saying a few things which definitely made me raise my eyebrows because it’s sort of an icky way of thinking and kinda hypocritical if we’re talking about damaging real people

the original first ask the anon made was saying if it was disrespectful on my part making jungkook use he/they pronouns, and why i didn’t make the reader nonbinary instead. and i felt like i was at least somewhat valid in my reply, im not here to invalidate any enby person hence why me making a totally fictional character the gender fluid one gives me the freedom to create a character and their opinions of their identity without forcing my own views of my gender onto the reader insert when i feel like being non binary is somewhat of a spectrum, it’s different for everyone

i think after that it completely just escalated with the race comments, assume my race and then calling it racist to change a man’s pronouns. i’m not a gender warrior, i’m not here to force a gay agenda onto any one of my followers or someone that stumbles across my page. it’s simply a safe space for lgbtq+ friends, and my bad that i wanted to represent a character through a member of bts. i know what’s real and what’s not, and i’m not coming online to say that jungkook doesn’t use he/him pronouns

the comments about the sexualisation of jungkook were kinda gross, kinda defeated their point they were trying to make. and yeah some points were valid about what happens online and how asian men are viewed or other POC within other communities. i’m not saying that’s wrong, i’m not oblivious or stupid or ignorant 😭 but this all started with a fictional character so i’m like ??? idk and then it all just went down hill so i don’t know anymore

the last few asks they sent felt like they’re were underlined with homophobia so i’m not gonna spend a lot of time arguing when whatever i say is just gonna be ignored or taken out of context to what i’ve been trying to say, even last night with my original answer to the ask. and i just felt sad reading it LMAO like idk what more i’m supposed to do, i’ve apologized if i’ve done anything wrong or anything i’ve said is damaging and i’ve tried to articulate my thoughts best i can but i can only type out so much, talking is so much easier 🚶‍♀️

anyways, what’s happened has happened and i’m tired 😭 and it was a total mood killer though

anyways i love all of you guys, and everyone that’s been nice today i’m extremely grateful!! 💕 so thank you for worrying! it’s very sweet

#pretty sure they unfollowed so it’s all good #i’m not gonna get pressed about it any more

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stephantom · 11 months ago

Text

I was curious to see the original context of these quotes, so I found “Loitering With Intent: The Apprentice” by Peter O’Toole online, and I was not disappointed. He uses a fun impressionistic style and he does describe this particular encounter in detail.

When Richard Burton strutted his Bastard on to the stage, he fetched with him a virility and poetry which neither before nor since have I seen matched in any playhouse. Power he brought, and insouciance; laughter, energy, danger; a rapidity of action and mental agility which throbbed; a relaxation and stillness which magnetized; an eye and a presence which commanded, and a glorious voice which rang and hushed and boomed and stung into every sounding inch of the auditorium. Much of what the Bastard says is a compound of slang, eloquence and yokel speech. Such was Richard's understanding of the very nature of the Bastard, and the skill he brought to the weight, nuance and balance of each word and phrase, that this mix blended into a singular essence which defined and made whole Shakespeare's reincarnated Lionheart.

[O’Toole goes on at length about the production and muses a lot about the history behind the play, etc. I’m skipping ahead.]

Nina Von [one of Peter’s theater student friends] made it clear that the rest of us could do as we wished but that she was going to the stage door in the hope of having a sumptuous ogle of Richard Burton, whom she considered to be a cute hunk of real man. No demur came from the heap and so round to the stage door we trooped where, pretty prospect, I saw that right next to it stood a welcoming pub.

[Skipping ahead again; they go to the pub.]

Hello. It is less than half an hour since the play ended. […I]nto the pub pushes what appears to be the entire cast of King John. The King of France has bought drinks and is passing them to Cardinal Pandulph, the Dauphin has his head dipped into a foam of Guinness and here comes Burton calling for a pint. They are a cheerful bunch, sparky, voluble, dry as one expected and the ale goes around and down. Here is Constance of Bretagne. Stern yet mischievous, handsome, and giving what appears to be a ribbing to a donnish and perplexed King John.

Burton has lifted his pint with an ease and sure-handedness that tells of diligent practice; parched ancestors from the coal pits of Wales live on in his sturdy body as the glass pint pot is applied to his mouth, and no miner up from the shaft after a double-header at the black coal face could have managed better his deep first sweet suck. Well played, Richard Burton! Laugh your easy laugh, light a fag, swig your ale, lean against the bar and look about you. Here sit six drama students, lately up in the gods, now come down to earth, sitting in a pub and looking at members of the Old Vic Company who this evening have so thoroughly entertained us when performing in a play. What my friends are thinking, I can't know. Me? The sight and sound of the chatter and the laughter made by you and your companions, and the ease with which you are all spreading yourselves about the pub, the warmth and vitality engendered, why, it delights me but though I can see and hear all this, I cannot yet touch it, am excluded, for you are professionals and I am not. Not at all, not even an experienced amateur. Not, in fact, an actor. And yet. Do I sense a tie of kinship? A tie which I have already sensed with my teachers at the RADA, professionals all? Perhaps. We will see. Meanwhile, though I am in a true sense excluded from it, I shall be happy on the fringe of your company.

Hello. Burton, R., is having a deep greeny-blue eyeful of [each of the three women in Peter’s friend group]. Can you blame him? These three bonny babes would fill a gladdened eye on any man […] Now, did you ever meet a young man who with complacency could watch while the women in his company were being given a thorough scrutiny by another young man in a pub? A stranger at that? An actor? A bloody film star? It was while I was adjusting my ears to their pinned-back position and mustering up one of my better grim scowls, that Richard took his gaze away from the women, glanced at Joe, at Bob, and then looked straight at me. A grin as big as it was friendly and as warm as it was wide spread over his face. His eyes sent a merry message which said that, on the whole, I could be in much worse company. He raised his glass to me, to my friends, we raised our glasses to him, and then with the grin still on him he ambled away to sit with Lewis and Philip of France at a table on the other side of the bar.

Six young drama students went happily home that night and Bob [Peter’s school roommate] and I drank bottles of beer and talked until dawn.

[Tune in next time for another early run-in. Here’s a picture of the Royal Academy of Dramatic Art (RADA) era Peter O’Toole.]

That winter of 1953 Richard Burton, back from his first foray in Hollywood, reigned supreme at the Old Vic. Tickets were like gold dust with the twenty-eight-year-old hailed as the new Olivier. A group of RADA students, O'Toole amongst their number, decided to see King John, with Burton playing Philip the Bastard. Taking it in turns to queue for cheap tickets they sat up in the gods, crackling with anticipation.

The curtain that evening fell to applause like thunder and O'Toole stepped outside into a cold, windy Waterloo Road almost traumatized by what he'd seen. “When Richard Burton strutted his Bastard on to the stage, he fetched with him a virility and poetry which neither before nor since have I seen matched in any playhouse.”

Conveniently located nearby was a pub and O'Toole's group made haste inside. He was halfway through his pint when Burton and other cast members bounded in, calling out for refreshment. O'Toole watched the Welsh wizard lift his pint with an ease and sure-handedness that told of diligent practice. It was a strange sensation to sit so close to actors who had entertained him so grandly, there was laughter, good humour, it delighted him, yes, “but though I can see and hear all this, I cannot yet touch it.” They were professionals, O'Toole was still very much the apprentice. At one point O'Toole distinctly recalled Burton catching sight of his own gaze and staring back with a grin, “as big as it was friendly. He raised his glass to me, to my friends, we raised our glasses to him, and then with the grin still on him he ambled away.”

- Peter O’Toole: The Definitive Biography by Roger Sellers [the direct quotes attributed to O’Toole are from O’Toole’s 1997 memoir Loitering With Intent]

^ Richard Burton in The Robe (1953)

#peter o’toole #richard burton #‘his deep first sweet suck’ a wordsmith lmao #loitering with intent #this really brings back the feeling of being a young artistic person in an excited artistic friend group. nostalgia.#peter and richard

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theycallmebecca · 3 years ago

Text

Drabble: Ransom Finds a Puppy

Ok.. so after today’s puppy interview... I couldn’t not write a dog!dad drabble for my Sugary Sweet Dad Collection. Especially since that’s exactly what Chris is.

I didn’t want to write Chris, because my goal this week was to write character stories, so I asked here on tumblr and some of my friends who I should write for. @nomadicpixel suggested someone finding a puppy, @flanneled-babe suggested Ransom with a small dog.

Those two suggestions combined with this image that I had in my brain from the start and this is what it all became.

As always, my Ransom is more of an AU rather than how he is in the movie.

Sugary Sweet Dad Collection Masterlist

Title: Ransom Finds a Puppy

Pairing: Ransom Drysdale x reader

Rating: PG

Warnings: n/a

Disclaimer: This work of fiction is not to be reposted, used or translated without my permission.

Usage Disclaimer: This work is for fans only. This author does not give permission for it to be shared, spoken of, referred to in any public manner (podcast, tv, online, etc.) that wants to either make a celebrity uncomfortable, mock fan fiction/fandom in any way, or the author themselves. Requests can be made, but it is unlikely the author will change their mind. If no response is given to a request then the answer is a solid no, not interested and the work cannot be shared, spoken of or even referred to, regardless of the manner or context.

Ransom hated running, but he hated going to the gym more, so he forced himself to run two miles nearly every day.

Or at least, a couple days a week during the spring, summer and fall.

He was only half a mile into his run when he heard the first cry as he neared a local park.

Slowing to a walk, he looked around, trying to find the source of the sound. Then he heard it again and that’s when he spotted the dog cowering under one of the park benches.

Having grown up with security dogs, he wasn’t necessarily a fan of them, but his gut told him this dog would be different. Besides, this dog was in trouble and he was the only one around.

Ransom carefully approached the bench and slowly reached his hand out for the dog to sniff.

It took a moment or two for the dog to sniff his fingers and another five before the dog let Ransom pick him up. It was only then that he realized that what he’d assumed was a small dog was actually a puppy.

“Where did you come from?” he asked.

There weren’t any houses close enough for him to escape from and it was too early to take him to a vet to check for a microchip.

“I guess I’ll take you home with me,” he told the puppy.

Instead of finishing his run, Ransom walked the half mile back to the house he shared with you.

“You’re back ear-” you started to say and then switched gears when you saw the puppy. “Who is this?”

“I found him in the park,” Ransom explained.

“Her, it’s a her,” you told him. “Can I hold her?”

Ransom started to hand you the puppy, but she let out a low rumble, expressing her dislike of the idea.

“What are you going to do with her?” you asked him.

"Thought I’d take her to the local vet,” he replied. “She has to have an owner somewhere.”

“And if she doesn’t, can we keep her?” you asked, hopefully.

Ransom looked from you to the puppy, who was giving him a hopeful look, too.

“I’m not making any decisions right now,” he stated, despite knowing that the decision had already been made for him. By you, but also by the puppy.

By the end of the day, it was official, Ransom was a dog dad. He’d spent all day with the puppy and when she’d fallen asleep in his arms after dinner, he knew his heart belonged to her.

“She needs a name,” you said. The puppy had warmed to you, but it was clear to everyone that Ransom was her favorite.

“What about Aggie?” Ransom suggested. “Short for Agatha Christie.”

“Your grandfather would appreciate that name,” you said then tried the name out yourself.

The puppy chose that moment to open her eyes and turn her head towards you.

“Is that your name?” you asked her. “Aggie?”

The dog thumped her tail and then closed her eyes again.

“I guess that confirms it,” Ransom said with a smile.

“I’m glad you found her,” you said as you laid your head against his shoulder.

“I am, too,” Ransom agreed.

#Becca's Sugary Sweet Dad Collection #becca’s sugary sweet dad collection #chris evans #theycallmebecca #theycallmebeccawrites #ransom drysdale #ransom drysdale fanfiction #ransom drysdale fanfic #ransom drysdale fan fiction #ransom drysdale x you #ransom drysdale x reader #ransom drysdale x y/n #Becca writes drabbles

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redemptiionss · 2 years ago

Note

Trying to learn ASL, any tips?

Hello! I’m glad that you've taken an interest in learning ASL; I wish you luck on your language learning journey and that I hope you enjoy learning it!

**This applies to all sign languages, not just ASL.**

So my main tip— If you truly want to learn ASL, then you also need to make friends in the Deaf community and socialize at Deaf events. Just like with any other language— language immersion is how you learn best as you are being exposed to language in its most natural context / environment.

Second tip- Be conscious about WHO you are learning ASL from. There are legitimately millions of ASL teaching/learning videos out there online made by hearing people who 1) are NOT native ASL signers and 2) barely know anything about ASL and the Deaf community, and/or literally JUST started learning ASL. I’ve seen plenty of videos, and they’re honestly so bad. The truth is, they know that what they’re doing is inappropriate and wrong. They do it for clout, tbh. Fame, views, whatever. They know that other hearing people who are genuinely eager to learn ASL are not going to know whether they are actually learning ASL signs correctly or not. These people often have more power and influence than the Deaf people who are expressing their genuine outrage over this, and they know it. And these Deaf people who are expressing their concerns get ignored and labelled as being unreasonable and whiners as a result. I’ve literally seen this happen so many times online. 🙃 So yeah, try to be conscious. There are qualified Deaf native signers out there teaching ASL & offering ASL classes. Give them your support and attention please!

Third tip - During conversations, don’t be afraid to tell us Deaf people that you are new to learning ASL, and to slow down if needed! We know what it’s like to nod nod nod and grin and say yes and pretend we understand a hearing person who’s talking at us, when we actually don’t understand everything that’s being said. We can often tell when you aren’t understanding us so don’t be afraid to ask us to slow down or to repeat what we said or ask about a new, unfamiliar sign!

Fourth tip -

ASL signs are not English words.

ASL signs are ASL concepts.

Many hearing people misunderstand and think that ASL signs are basically English words, or that there is an English vocabulary equivalent for every single word in ASL. That’s not how languages work.

ASL signs are ASL concepts, which may have an approximate equivalent meaning in English buuuut may not 100% fit. OR may not have an equivalent at all.

I only say this because I think it’s important to remember this! You may already know this. But many hearing people don’t realize this. Same thing with ASL’s grammar being different from English. (A lot of hearing learners end up signing word for word in English grammatical order-- which, of course isn’t ASL.)

Fifth tip- A lot of ASL grammar is on the face and the body (also known as non-manual markers, in ASL linguistics)-- it’s a very important part of ASL. So don’t be so stiff with your facial expressions! Non-manual markers influence the meaning of signs, and serve a role of modifiers, adverbs, tone, etc in ASL. There are some rules regarding facial expressions, which you’ll learn-- and should be learning from your ASL instructor.

Oh and there’s classifiers too, but you’ll also be learning about that from your ASL instructor lol.

#answered #sorry.. it's been a while yikes. i finally had the energy and the brains to finish this. lol #but yeah ummmmmmmm i hope this was at least a bit helpful lol #txt #asl

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violettelueur · 4 years ago

Text

— RYOMEN SUKUNA || LET ME MARK YOU THEN

↳ featuring : ryomen sukuna from jujutsu kaisen

↳ warnings : mention of sex, mention of hickeys and grammar issues

↳ form : imagine

↳ published : 22 january

↳ pronouns : she/her

↳ word count : 3.7k

↳ synopsis : (modern!AU) after your lectures, you decided to pay your tattoo artist boyfriend a little visit only to then be persuaded to let him draw a tattoo design on you even though you never actually wanted a real one to be marked with.

↳ barista’s notes : just a little gift to you all before today’s episode and the reset the ‘coffees in progress’ list (wip) when i get enough sleep and after my disgusting online classes, i hope you enjoy the free cup of coffee everyone ʕ•ᴥ•ʔﾉ♡ - also i feel like this is the longest imagine i have ever posted ʕ ㅇ ᴥ ㅇʔ

Having a morning full of tedious lectures was not someone’s ideal day and it was definitely not yours. Although, there was nothing you could do but pursue them through with as much enthusiasm and determination that you could possibly muster while being impatient about the hands on the clock taking forever to move a single inch.

However, at this moment in time, you were able to escape the suffocating lecture hall after many hours for today and was now walking down the busy streets of Tokyo with a white plastic takeaway bag in one hand while the other was occupied with your tote bag that was resting on your shoulder, which surprisingly kept hold of some of your textbooks as well as your laptop giving you some reassurance that the bag that your boyfriend gave you was going to last for quite some time.

Looking around the busy quarter of the capital, you began to notice a few high school students roaming about here and there with some hanging out with their friends - mostly likely going to a cafe or to the nearest karaoke lounge that they could find - while other were either rushing home as they entered the station or to their part-time jobs that they had managed to obtain for a few extra bucks to save up for their next step in life. Noticeably, there were also a few adults out and about with some working as street-food vendors selling delicious treats that you would be craving if you weren’t so full while others were dressed extremely professional with their laptops out on their cafe/restaurant table to what seemed like they were on their lunch break.

‘He should be on his lunch break right now, but if not, I’ll just put his food in the shop’s fridge’

Continue walking to your destination, you finally reached to a quieter area with the city leading you to then stand in front of a glass order with a ‘closed’ sign in front along with another extremely noticeable sign proudly stating ‘Malevolent Shine’ to which if you had said that to any tattoo fanatic within Japan, they would instantly know what you were talking about.

Opening the door, there was a sudden noise of a ring being heard leading you to immediately look up to see the silver bell that you told him to arrange since he always got annoyed about the number of potential clients popping up without his acknowledgement only to tell him that they didn’t book an appointment at all causing him to become more irritated - and as a matter of fact, you couldn’t blame him at all.

Looking around the tattoo shop that you had entered, there wasn’t a single person in sight leading you to come to the conclusion that you were right about his lunch break since his assistant would be at the front desk if they weren’t. Although there was no one to greet you, the dark atmosphere did. It gave an odd sense of comfort with its hints of red that could calm a customer down if they were worried about the tattoo they were committing to having on their body or if it was their first - especially when it came to him.

“Oya~ ain’t you a sexy customer? But I’m afraid we’re closed, but I don’t mind giving you a private session if you want, kitten” someone smoothly stated, leading your eyes to slowly shift to the person who was leaning against the desk with a confident smirk on his face. There he was, the mastermind behind the whole shop itself.

“Well, I’m not coming in for a tattoo but I am here to give a little gift, Sukuna,” you mischievously stated, as you lifted the white bag with the takeaway you had ordered for the man himself, leading him to look at you in surprised before tilting his head indicating you to come to the back with him.

Following his lead, you placed the bag on his table once you reached the backroom before placing your tote on the floor beside the table’s leg so it didn’t fall, letting any of your precious studious contents to be lost as well as avoiding any damage to your laptop.

“I’m surprised you’re using the bag, kitten,” Sukuna suddenly commented, as he sat on his chair while pulling out the white styrofoam box of Thai food that he always ordered along with a bento box that was wrapped in a black cloth.

“Well, how could I not? You did buy it for me,” you quietly mentioned as you took off your black longline coat before placing it behind your chair since there was nowhere else to put it.

“Did you make this?” Sukuna quickly questioned as he lifted the bento box causing you to nod at his question once you saw what he meant leading you to state, “I didn’t know if you were going to stay back tonight, so I prepared some food for you in case,” causing Sukuna to smirk since you were right about your assumption and it did catch him by surprise since he didn’t mention it to you today when he left your shared apartment.

“Thanks,” he quietly muttered before pulling his chair closer towards you so he could place a lingering kiss on your cheek to show his appreciation towards you. “How was class?” he then asked, as he began to unwrap the cloth of the box to your surprise since you bought his favourite item from the Thai restaurant but made no mention of it.

“Annoying, it was suffocating in there but the lecture was interesting so that’s a plus,” you answered, as you began to scan his messy desk that displayed the many drawings that he was working on. Some of the designs that Sukuna was drawing were almost complete, while others were in the same situation but for some odd reason, it was crossed out as if he was unsatisfied with the outcome that it was going to have which lead you to be perplexed since some of the drawings were incredibly detailed and beautiful. However, you didn’t have the eyes of an artist like your boyfriend did, instead, you had the eyes of someone that was able to analyse things exceedingly well hence why you decided to pursue a career as a criminal lawyer.

“How has the shop been while I was away?” you asked, as you carefully picked up one of the designs that the tattoo artist seemed to have scraped leading him to answer with an annoyed huff. “A pain, there’s been so many dumbass people coming in thinking they could just walk in and get a tattoo done immediately without even booking a meeting,” Sukuna answered before taking a bite of the soy-glazed fried chicken you made as he then continued with, “it was a good idea to get the bell since I could see if it was a customer I knew or not,”.

Looking at your boyfriend, you couldn’t help but smile at the man as he continuously munched the context in the box as if he hadn’t eaten in the past week when in reality he had been raiding the fridge back home only just this morning. Slowly, you turn your head back to the paper that you were holding as you continued to admire the work of art right in front of you.

To be honest, it was quite simple compared to all the other ones that were lying about on his work desk but that didn’t mean it wasn’t beautiful. The light sketch depicted a short section of a branch or stem decorated with different types of beautiful flowers and next to it was the same design with the only difference of it being coloured lightly in case the client wanted to have options.

“What happened here?” you asked before tilting the paper to the side, letting Sukuna have a glance at the design he decided to discard.

“Oh, the client cancelled since I wouldn’t have sex with her,” Sukuna casually stated leading you to nod before taking another look at the design with a small smile on your face. Sadly, it was such a waste since the design was beautiful and it was disappointing to not see Sukuna put this beautiful art into life.

Some people might wonder why you were so calm about the statement he had just given you, heck even his younger twin brother Itadori Yuji thought it was weird that it didn’t bother you as much as other girls would have been. The reason was that you were so used to him having female attention as well as male attention and it wasn’t a surprise when people would book an appointment with him just for a fling or hoping for something more than just that - and even though you were calm, there was also a hint of jealousy and fear within your heart that you couldn’t help.

It was like the first time you saw him in your second year of high school.

ꕥ

Stretching your arms, you had finally finished the last sheet of the budgets for the school clubs leading you to carefully clip the pile of sheets into the folder as you then stood up from your desk before quickly heading out of your homeroom, so you could give the documents to the student council president, who was a third-year within your school.

However, as you were walking past a few classrooms with some people greeting you with a smile, you came to a sudden halt when you saw a whole crowd of female and males students in front of you leading to a blockage of the halls and a blockage of the classroom you need to go through to hand the documents to your senior.

“Did you hear, I heard he was back?!”

“I can’t believe he’s back, I missed him so much!”

“I like Yuji’s kind and goofy personality, but how could you not love a bad boy like him?”

‘Bad boy?’

Carefully, you managed to find a gap between the sea of students and forcibly made yourself fit within the gap before badly struggling to make it through the arc of the classroom door leading you to nearly trip the second you got the chance to push through the gap to ender the class. Quickly looking around, you found your senior sitting next to someone who looked like your friend and basketball club member Itadori Yuji - well more like a mature replicant of the boy you were used to. However, unbothered by the sudden appearance of the new third-year, you speedily made your way to the council president and handed him the booklet that he needed today leading you to receive his gratitude.

Yet, before you could even take a single step away from your senior, you unexpectedly felt someone grab your wrist causing you to quickly turn around to find Itadori’s replica behind you leading to a few gasps coming from the students from the outside as well as in the homeroom.

“Is there an issue?” you firmly asked, as you looked down at his hand that had a tight grip on your wrist causing you to have a small glance at the two black bands that were tattooed around his wrist - even though it was prohibited to have any in your school, you weren’t the type to scold someone for having them since you weren’t sure on how the teacher’s thought it affected someone’s education.

“Have you ever thought about getting a tattoo?” the salmon-haired third-year curiously asked, as he began to admire your wrist by gently turning it for your veins to come into view before beginning to trace your skin with the tip of his thumb causing a light shiver to go down your spine due to the ticklish feeling as well as his deep voice which was the complete opposite to what you thought it was going to be.

‘So this is the infamous Sukuna everyone was talking about’

“Not really,” you answered as you looked at him causing his eyes to look back at you before you continued with “I don’t think it would suit me at all,”.

“I disagree,” Sukuna counteracted, as he went back to admire the blank canvas of your wrist that he wanted to draw on so badly. No not draw. Mark. “I think you’ll suit something, maybe something on your neck or collarbone at best actually,” Sukuna mentioned leading you to give him a confused expression before he then proceeded with his speech by saying, “I’ll convince you one day and mark you brat”,

‘What...did….he….just….call….me..?’

“Ah...good luck with that idiot,” you stated in an annoyed tone leading to a few of the admiring student to gasp at your wording as well as sudden confident as they were scared on what was going to happen to you now since Sukuna wasn’t the type to tolerate insults in a nice way no matter what gender you were. However, exceeding the audience’s assumptions, Sukuna began to smirk excitedly at your attitude as he suddenly found you more interesting than any other girl he has met at the back of the school.

“Be prepared, little kitten”

ꕥ

‘That nickname….’

Back then Sukuna was known to be a playboy from what you could recall, every week there was news on the new girl he had managed to convince to meet at the back alley of the school while you were just being a model student with the dream of going to law school. However, during the middle of the school year, you began to realise that the common scandalous news that seemed to be popular enough for it to be on the front cover of the newspaper began to gradually fade as Sukuna slowly pushed himself into your life since you were close with his twin brother due to your friend being part of the basketball team as the assistant coach - she even mentioned that ever since Sukuna came into your life he had stopped his acts and change slightly because of you to which, of course, you denied at the time.

It was during the first term of your third-year that you agreed to give Sukuna a chance since he was constantly annoying you by popping up at the school gate after school to ‘walk you home’ ever since his graduation - when in reality it was to take you out somewhere - without fail even when you had to stay in a few hours. However, you had given him three conditions since you were still conscious of the consequences of dating someone with such a disgraceful built reputation - much to his dismay, he shockingly agreed.

If you are going to have a fling with someone behind my back, don’t think about seeing or talking to me again.

I know you are sexually active, but you have to wait until I’m ready.

Don’t tattoo me.

Let’s just say that Sukuna had managed to keep condition number one in check and you didn’t have to worry about it at all, while with condition number two he didn’t have to wait that long for you to give in to your desires which you could tell he certainly enjoyed when you finally gave him the ‘okay’.

Number three though...

“Do you want to try that design out?”

Breaking from your daze, you quickly turned your head to find your boyfriend staring at you - with the bento box practically empty at this point - while tilting his head to the paper that was still within your grasp.

“I think you giving me hickeys are enough in my opinion, babe” you jokingly mentioned leading to both you and Sukuna laughing at each other slightly.

“I mean, do you want me to draw it on you to see how it looks?” he then asked, causing you to look at the floral design one last time before giving him a hesitant nod.

‘Trying it out won’t hurt right?’

“I need a confident answer little kitten, where did that feisty attitude of yours back in high school go?” Sukuna teased, causing you to give him the side glance before giving him the verbal permission that he wanted, leading him to smirk at you since knew his mockery would get you to give him what he wanted since you were also the stubborn type - a side that he always loved to play with.

Grabbing his pen and a black pot full of his thin-tipped coloured skin markers, he wheels his chair even closer to your before pausing, leading you to look at him in confusion since you had already pulled your wrist in front of him, the same area he had grabbed back in high school.

“You’re wearing a lot of clothing today,” Sukuna muttered as he began to fiddle with the collar of your white silk dress shirt causing you to look at him with extreme confusion before mentioning, “well it is getting colder since the Autumn season is coming around,” leading him to hum in an understanding tone as he continued to play with the smooth fabric.

“I want to draw on your collarbone area, I don’t want to draw on the area where the client wanted it to be,” Sukuna stated as he lightly pushed away your wrist leading you to realise why he paused. “You can,” you quickly mentioned leading the tattoo artist to look at you to see if you were lying, only to see nothing but the light of the trust within your eyes.

Slowly, Sukuna began to reach over to the top button to then unhook it from its loop before continuously doing the same with the others until enough skin of your shoulders were exposed with the top half of your shirt resting on the side of your arms to which then he slowly moved away the right-hand side of your bra strap to fully expose the canvas that he wanted to mark so eagerly.

Admiring the skin that was in front of him, Sukuna began to trace the area with his thumb before leaning in to place a chaste kiss on the same side of your neck before cradling your face on the other side with his other hand - as if it was a way for him to say ‘thank you’ for letting him do this.

Regrettably pulling away, Sukuna quickly grabbed his black pen as he then leaned in towards your collarbone to start drawing the outline of his design on his now favourite canvas causing you to shiver somehow due to how ticklish and weird the sensation felt when the ballpoint pen continuously gently gilded upon your skin. However, what got you shaking the most was the constant feeling of your boyfriend’s breath being felt on your upper body now that your shirt was basically off - it wasn’t completely off to the same feeling when you were underneath him the first time you allowed him to make his claim on you.

“Baby, it feels ticklish,” you commented, the second you felt a different sensation upon your skin leading Sukuna to glance up to check if you were alright like you were an actual client before placing another kiss on your jawline in a way to comfort you since he had switched to his skin markers to colour in the design he had drawn on you.

“You’re being a good kitten though, you’re not moving a lot then I thought you would,” the tattoo artist whispered leading you to quiver as his deep voice was not helping so much with your beating heart - erratic to the point where you thought he could hear or even feel.

Due to Sukuna concentrating, you couldn’t help but keep silent to help him continue with his work causing you to glance around your room with your eyes before landing upon a wall where there was a multitude of messages written leading you to carefully scan the writings that were visibly presenting themselves.

As expected, there were messages of encouragement - not that the arrogant Sukuna needed it to be honest, but it was nice of the client to do so - and a few drawings from other tattoo artists that Sukuna had famously done. However, not to your surprise, there were a few numbers here and there causing you to sigh since you couldn’t help it - you couldn’t blame your boyfriend for being an extremely handsome man.

Unexpectedly, you felt another kiss being placed upon your cheek causing you to look towards your boyfriend with a smile on your face - it was as if he knew what you were looking at. “I’m finished by the way,” Sukuna announced, causing you to look at him with widened eyes since the drawing session was a little faster than you had anticipated.

Reaching over to a drawer in his desk, Sukuna suddenly pulled out a mirror before passing it to you, leading you to lift up the little instrument to see the result that was drawn on your skin.

“You changed the design,” you quietly stated, as you began to tenderly trace the design with your index finger as you began to admire the piece of art that was masterfully drawn on your collar bone. The tattoo beautifully depicted a single strand of a blooming lavender across your collarbone with each petal in different shades of purple while the buds that weren’t in bloom were in a slight pale pink shade making you smile more since Sukuna drew this straight from his head causing you to have a hint of proudness for him.

“I wasn’t going to give you that previous design, it doesn’t suit you one bit,” the salmon-haired artist mentioned as he continued with, “I’m not going to let that disgusting design touch your skin, especially since this is the first time you let me mark you somewhat,” as he then moved behind you before placing his chin on your shoulder to look at you through the mirror you were holding.

“I might let you mark me permanently then,” you suddenly announced causing your boyfriend to look at you with a surprised look on his face leading you to giggle at his reaction.

“Yeah, let’s break condition three then, you can mark me this one time,” you informed him as you turned to look at him, causing Sukuna to give you his classic smirk before possessively grabbing your chin leading him to lean closer to you.

“Let me mark you then”

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