#I knew she was Jewish before she said anything lmao

[thattheater-kid]

Shoutout to the Jewish lady who does the accommodations at my university, who saw me and said, “You celebrate Hanukkah, right?” Don’t know how you could tell, do I just radiate Judaism? But we did have a nice conversation related to Hanukkah and Judaism, how cool it is that Hanukkah is later this year, stuff like that, so that was cool.

-Kyle

[qtkat]

experiments tainted by valium ⋆·˚ ༘ *

gender: not specified

pairing: sheldon cooper x reader

word count: 1739 (short n’ sweet)

notes: i haven’t published anything i’ve written in a while and i’ve been a bit stuck with my other projects so i thought i’d mix it up! it’s pretty obvious but this is set in s2e1 when sheldon comes home after howard gives him valium lmao. i really just wrote this for me tbh so if you read this i hope you enjoy xx <3

just thinking about how happy sheldon is when he sees you standing in the door of his apartment, having already forgotten howard’s existence as his eyes meet yours. he stumbles into the apartment, letting out a drawn out and high-pitched “hey!”

they -his eyes- look a little clouded over to you, and you raise a brow incredulously at your jewish friend who’s standing next to him, while simultaneously trying to get your very tall friend to stand up straight on his own. “there she is! my ole’ neighbor turned temporary roommate,” sheldon continues while stumbling past you, taking small steps through the room, looking around a little bewildered.

glaring sleepily, your eyes in two slits, you cross your arms at howard. “what did you do?” you asked a little confused as to why sheldon got dumped back here when he was the one who wanted to move out in the first place.

sighing while keeping his eyes on sheldon howard began to explain, “koothrappali dumped him on me and he couldn’t get to sleep, so i gave him a glass of warm milk with a handful of my mom’s valium in it.” he said as if this happened standardly.

now both of your eyebrows were up at your hairline and you looked at howard with wide eyes, leaned forward a little. “and he still wouldn’t shut up, so— tag, you’re it!” he finishes by unceremoniously dropping sheldon’s bag onto the floor and immediately making his way down the stairs.

you looked after him for a second before looking back towards the beanstalk of a man now leaning on his desk with a hand propped up onto his hip. “i’m back” he sing-song’ed happily, letting a rare smile peek through in his drugged state.

you close the door with a sigh and start walking towards the living room in tandem with sheldon. “not like i even knew why you left in the first place” you reply dryly, but as per usual he doesn’t pick up on it and just lowers himself onto the chair’s armrest. “i can’t tell you” he replies, piquing your interest.

now the gears in your head started turning, maybe still a little groggily since you’d just gotten woken up by your drugged neighbor and annoyed friend, but they were moving. you needed to know what made him leave, you knew he hated change so it was either something really serious or something really stupid. your undergrad in psychology should probably help you get to the core of it.

you take a seat opposite him on the living room’s coffee table and look up at him, “why not?” you inquired softly, “i promised penny,” he breathed out, breaking eye contact and letting his head fall back a bit.

“you promised penny what?” you could feel yourself getting closer, subconsciously leaning forward a bit so you could hear anything coming out of his mouth, since he didn’t have a very right grasp on what would and wouldn’t.

“i wouldn’t tell you the secret.” he mumbled, but you heard it nonetheless. he let himself fall back into the chair and you would’ve laughed if you weren’t currently on a personal mission to find out what penny was telling sheldon behind your back. “shh!” he interjected the silence with a finger on his lips, looking at you with wide-blown eyes.

you stood up and took a seat on the brown chair next to his now and tried keeping his attention on you while you moved, batting your eyes at him sickly sweet while he moved to sit upright, you placed your hand on his chair’s armrest. “what secret, shelly?”

he turned now to look at you seriously, a pout on his face that made something in the back of your mind scream adorable but which you pushed away leveling his stare with one of your own.

you hoped the use of his nickname would make him trust you more and tell him the secret, but apparently it worked a bit too well and you skipped straight towards the family secrets instead. “mom smokes in the car,” he pauses and you give him a confounded look, brows furrowed. “jesus is okay with it but we can’t tell dad.” he shakes his head at the last part, making you heave a sigh and drop your head in your hands.

you wouldn’t give up yet, however. “not that one dear, the other secret.” you tried getting him back on track but this just resulted in him lowering his voice an octave and whisper-yelling “i’m batman!” while shushing your ‘no’s afterward once more.

“sheldon come on! work with me here.” you moved your chair closer to his and looked him straight in the eye. “you said that penny told you a secret, will you tell me it shelley?” you begged, putting on your best puppy dog eyes with scrunched eyebrows combo and started smiling when he threw his head back with a sigh. “alright i’ll tell you,” he replied, making you celebrate silently with yourself, “but you can’t tell leonard.” you nodded happily along with him.

“my lips are sealed” you smiled out, sitting up a bit straighter, ready for the secret that made sheldon want to move out. “penny lied about finishing community college, because she’s afraid she’s not smart enough for leonard.” he finishes by looking at his hand and moving it around in his field of vision.

you kept looking at him, a little disappointed that was all. “and.. that’s it?” you asked, and he looked back at you, leaving his hand alone again. “i drank milk that tasted funny,” he said, making you come back to your senses and give him an apologetic smile.

“d’you need me to help you get to bed?” you offered, making him scrunch his eyebrows at you in distaste. “don’t be silly, i want to stay up with you.” he stated, catching you by surprise.

you knew sheldon didn’t dislike you, he said hi to you at work, he let you eat dinner at his house, hell- he even let you stay there right now while the apartment manager was fixing your broken window. but evading his rigorous sleep schedule? that made you stop in your tracks a bit. “wha- uh- why?” you tried to speak, sputtering out a response to keep him awake.

he let his head fall back again, his eyes closed and a smile took over his face — it was honestly a bit freaky, but mostly just endearing. “you are very endearing when you’re half asleep” he mumbles out, letting his words linger in the air a bit. your eyes are blown wide and you try to find a response, but you only manage to open and close your mouth like a fish on dry land.

his eyes open and he lets his head loll to the side, looking at you with a dopey expression on his face, “and you called me shelley,” he said. you’d never heard his voice so soft, so without ridicule, it was weird and it made your insides warm. “usually no one can call me that.” he continued, your face slowly heating up in what you assumed was embarrassment.

“but you’re inexplicable y/n.” he sits up a little straighter now, eyes still a little glazed over but determined nonetheless. “anyone else calls me shelley, i don’t like it, but when you do, i do. when someone else needs a place to stay i don’t want them here, but when you do, i do.” he explains softly, trying to reason with himself.

you know you shouldn’t listen to him right now, it’s late and you’re both tired — and more importantly he’s on drugs, but you can’t help but want to grab this moment with him, scared there won’t be any more chances to shoot your shot with the stoic man.

“sheldon?” you ask, but he shakes his head in that disappointed way you’re so used to and corrects you.“shelley.” he interjects matter of factly, and you continue. “alright- shelley, can i preform an experiment?” you ask, shifting a little closer towards him again. he thinks on it for a second before snickering like a kid and and smiling your way. “i love experiments!” he cheered.

“alright” you begin, shifting a little in your seat. “take note of how you’re feeling right now- physically.” you instruct and he nods along. there’s a small pause before he motions with his hand for you to continue.“my data suggests,” you take a deep breath, this is it, “that this would make your heartbeat increase.” you state as he looks at you confused. “my heartbe-” he starts but is cut off by your lips on his, your eyes sewn tightly shut, not wanting to see his reaction just yet.

you stay like that for a moment, unmoving and a little rigid but feeling his soft lips on yours, then you move away, eyes still closed. a couple beats of silence pass before sheldon lets out a “woah” which makes you open one eye cautiously. his eyes are blown wide and his cheeks have a little bit of a blush spreading along their surface, his hand is placed over his heart and he looks at you wordlessly, mouth hanging open slightly.

both of you blink at each other and you swallow a little loudly. you clear your throat a little, “was my hypothesis correct, shelley?” you ask softly, your voice raw with emotion as the man before you just nods in shell-shock. “i believe so,” he stutters out meekly, hand still gripping his pajama shirt.

“well, then why don’t you ponder the implications this has on its field while i.. go..” you rasp out, trying to make this make sense to sheldon’s impossible brain, which seemed a success at his small nod and now finally closed mouth.

you stand up fast and make your way towards leonard’s room where your air mattress resided because even if sheldon wasn’t home people ‘aren’t supposed to be in his room’ and you closed the door softly behind you, leaving a star-struck physicist alone in his living room looking at the empty chair before him, trying to sort out feelings he’d never felt before.

he looked towards leonard’s door and back towards where you’d been sitting just moments before, his stomach fluttering as he thought back to his first kiss from just seconds ago.

“oh dear”

[iputthediscoindiscourse]

So because men want to fuck you now and because they “buy you food and other trinkets” you became a tradfem? I guess your mom’s grooming did work after all! I’m sure you guys can bond over that.This whole thing is so embarrassing and not because you’re “bi now” but because you have two very contradicting ideas trying to make them into one, you also clearly enjoy being objectified by men which is why people are calling you pathetic. “I just want to be a stay at home wife” yeah which you’re probably gonna settle down for a moid because “it’s easier to get men” right? Even tho you know how disgusting men are you still choose to be with them how is that not the most heterosexual behaviour? You should have just kept on living your life and kept it quiet 😂

Just like I said before you are a wuss and a coward saying this as an anon and you need a shitton of help to actually be a fully functioning member of society!!

So because men want to fuck you now and because they “buy you food and other trinkets” you became a tradfem?

First off, I never said anything about men wanting to fuck me in that response? You are literally sexualizing me which is making yourself look bad bro. Why do you assume that men do stuff for me and I swing that way? Like if you really want to know what made me go that way was studying Sharia(Islamic Law) and Halakha (Jewish Law) both in academia and with friends, made me realize that the religious culture I grew up in was fucked and that had no protections for women, and that there was a possibility of actually being religious and still having a loving partner and family life. Along with that, when I went off to college it was the first time in my life I actually met men that actually loved their wives and their children, they are actually excellent fathers, husbands and community members and it made me realize how fucked I grew up was. Like growing up, all of the men didn't really love their wives or their children at all and they boggled everyone done instead of helping them!! Like actually seeing people in love and having happy lives with marriage and child rearing is what made me go that way!! Like knowing the I can actually have a happy fulfilling relationship along with creating a family full of love laughter and happiness made me go this way!! Also I only let one man buy me trinkets cause of my trauma the rest of my fwbs and dates just buy me food lmao.

I guess your mom’s grooming did work after all! I’m sure you guys can bond over that.

You know my mother would throw a riot if she knew my dating history and knew I covered my hair right? Like she wanted me to marry a white Christian man, and not just any white Christian man but one that was similar to her religiously. Which I have never dated a Christian guy, I mostly date either non-religious, Jewish or Muslim guys. On top of that, I have dated a lot of Indian dudes along with Black guys and Pakistani dudes. Once in a blue moon do I date a white man anymore tbh. Also haven't talked to my mother in over 18 months and I don't plan to anytime soon tbh.

This whole thing is so embarrassing and not because you’re “bi now” but because you have two very contradicting ideas trying to make them into one, you also clearly enjoy being objectified by men which is why people are calling you pathetic.

Tradfem and Radfem are not that polar opposite that you make it out to be both modern (last twenty years ish) have been trying to answer the same question which is how to improve the conditions for women and people of the female sex. For radfems, they want to destroy the current order of things and build it from the ground up. While tradfems want to keep some of the natural order of things but tweak it here and there to benefit women. Like no offense but your views on tradfems are very bias and seem somewhat corrupted by what men want you to define them as lmao. Where did I say I like being objectified by men? Cause like if a man only sees me as a sex toy I cut him off instantly so like lol. If I am pathetic then I wonder what you are for sending such weird messages to me.

“I just want to be a stay at home wife” yeah which you’re probably gonna settle down for a moid because “it’s easier to get men” right?

love the wording here it make me laugh a little lol. Honestly if I met a woman who was my type and we could be compatible I am not opposed to marrying her tbh. Like I don't settle with it comes to my partners, there is a reason none of my relationships hit the six month mark and that is because I realize I deserve better and leave. Like I am not going to settle, I am not going to make the mistakes of my mother tbh.

Even tho you know how disgusting men are you still choose to be with them how is that not the most heterosexual behaviour?

Men as a class as disgusting, but some individual men are good and honestly I wouldn't mind settling down with one if I find what I want. You know there is more heterosexual men than wlws right? so the probability of me marrying a man is higher than me marrying a women. So like, I am just being brutally honest by the fact I am more likely to marry a man than a woman.

Also nice to know you are british based on how you spell behavior.

You should have just kept on living your life and kept it quiet 😂

I mean what is the fun in being quiet, sometimes starting a riot is fun. Besides as I said numerous times, we need many different people in this world or else she is boring.

[britnxyspears]

I didn’t use to like Marilyn Monroe because I bought the bimbo propaganda AND also the first person I knew to stick up for her was a Republican 12 year old who brought her Bible to class, told us Bush was kinda hot, and was just a mess of poor decisions with no consequences

Lmao, but hey, at least you're an honest enough person to admit to this. Marilyn is a sore subject to a lot of even highly thought of feminists, some of who act like they've always understood Marilyn's complexities and her life behind the scenes. It's something I've seen with more than just Marilyn too, a lot of people are giving this attitude to Britney now that it's considered more shameful to make fun of her (I've actually considered writing a book on the two because of the insane similarities after and before fame- but what publisher would take me seriously lol) and to Paris Hilton, who much like Marilyn, was panned for her acting all the time but was such a good actress everyone believed the persona.

People hate being fooled by something or admitting to being mislead.

But jeez... I sincerely hope that person... has changed their political views. Kind of odd, that they defend Marilyn who... I mean, wasn't their perfect poster girl aryan like the right wants to picture her as (she was Jewish) and also supported causes deemed pretty far left even by today's standards. It sounds like they might have not known very much about her either ^^; she sounds very unfortunately like one of those girls who was so heavily brainwashed by her family that even one toe out of line would get her seriously neglected. There were a lot of those brought bible to class types in the city school I went to and I just felt... bad. Thankfully I was born with that 'ask too many questions gene' or whatever or honestly, that could have been me if grandpa's 'church' was successful 😥 scary stuff indeed. I completely understand you taking anything she said with a few grains of salt

[angelhummel]

unpopular opinion: grilled cheesus makes me furious. i hate how that ep was basically shaming a 16 year old for being an atheist,, while his only living parent is in a coma. santana's "i hope you're happy kurt" is so gross. they all treat kurt so badly that ep and he's still forced to compromise by the end and go to church. i hate how so many people police his reaction to what happens as if someone that young is going to cope the "correct" way. ofc he was pushing people away. he was terrified.

he still wasn't totally comfortable with all of nd yet and he was used to coping with things on his own so,, what do you expect? he was taking care of himself the best way he knew how. everything he said was out of fear and anger bc they were pushing when he was not in the place to be pushed. they didn't respect his wishes and somehow he's the bad guy?? while they impose things he doesn't want (and has said why he doesn't want) on him?? ugh. i hate that ep. i love chris' acting but i hate it.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

strongly agree | agree | neutral | disagree | strongly disagree

Oh my god you literally read my mind. Spoiler alert but I’ve got Grilled Cheesus queued up as my ranking post for the day. And in the tags I literally say that part of the reason it’s so high is for Chris’s acting omg. You and me, anon, we get it

Santana snapping at Kurt makes absolutely zero sense. Literally here’s what happens: Sue is asking San and Britt for inside info on the club. San says everyone is sad for Kurt and don’t know how to help. And she says they’re singing religious songs and she “doesn’t see what the big deal is”. Then Sue uses Kurt to get a student to file a complaint so they are no longer able to sing religious songs during school time. And Santana is like “I hope you’re happy Kurt” like?? Santana you’re literally the one that went blabbing to Sue in the first place lmao. I mean they’d barely begun to give her an actual character yet, I think maybe her brain cells just hadn’t caught up properly. It’s still weird

Anyway idk the only characters that strike me as super religious are Mercedes and Quinn and sort of Rachel. I mean she mentions temple and her rabbi and stuff like that but they don’t really take it seriously. She cares more about getting to sing than about her religion lol. And we know Puck has his own “unique” way of looking at things when it comes to religion. And Tina is Jewish but doesn’t practice or whatever. And she’s the one like “You don’t believe in god?!” all surprised. Idk I just think odd choices were made

Mercedes taking Kurt to church in the end doesn’t bother me quite as much. I mean she wasn’t trying to convert him or anything, just give him a sense of community and let him know that he wasn’t alone. And she says that he might not believe in god but he has to believe in something and that leads to Kurt’s realization and his speech to Burt near the end. Oh but she literally comes up to him before all that and is like “I don’t know how to be around you anymore” which like. He basically called her a headcase for believing in god but also that’s a weird thing to say to someone who’s depressed bc his dad is in a coma?? Idk we just watched that ep the other day and it’s all weird. Also people seem to ignore all this and be like “what happened to kurtcedes after s1??” but like. I think this ep could’ve put a bit of a dent in that

And the only person with a counterpoint that matches Kurt’s beliefs is Sue, the main villain of the show. Even tho she’s literally right about everything here lol. Idk it was definitely A Choice having her being the one and only character to verbally back Kurt up on his beliefs. Anyway the whole ep is a mess but it still gets major points w me bc of Chris’s acting and bc the flashbacks with Burt and baby Kurt make me cry

[madlittlecriminal]

First Love ⇢ Thomas Shelby × Reader

Request: yes! from anon- Omg imagine a Thomas shelby x corpse bride kind of thing goin on. Maybe not the corpse bit lmao but some quotes maybe like ‘you’re married to me she’s the other woman’ ‘you kept you promise you set me free’ ‘I love you Thomas but you are not mine’

Warnings: angst, quote from corpse bride because im not doing Tim Burton that dirty,  alfie x reader (platonic), mentions of alcohol, mentions of cigarettes, mentions of smoking, mentions of Grace, mentions of Charlie

quotes used: “Yet the pain that I feel, try and tell me it’s not real.” “Pardon my enthusiasm.” “I like your enthusiasm.” “I don’t know. It’s just not natural.” “I love you, but you are not mine.” (in the movie, Emily says “Victor” but i didn’t include his name)

Thomas Shelby; the man that could have anyone he wanted and anything he wanted. Sadly, you didn’t know how true it was until you started developing feelings for him. The thing was, you were developing feelings for a married man, so in all forms, that was wrong. You knew how much he loved his wife, so you couldn’t sit there and say anything. The awful part was, you fell in love with your best friend and sure, you didn’t know each other since the sandbox, but you knew him before Grace. To many it was sad, but if Tommy didn’t see you in that way, there was nothing you could do about it. Currently, you were on your way to Alfie’s as apparently he trusted you more than he did the rest of the Peaky Blinders. “Ah! Lovely to see you (Y/N)! Then again, it always is!” His deep yet enthusiastic tone made you smile. He realized how happy he sounded, so he cleared his throat. “Pardon my enthusiasm.” You let out a small laugh. “I like your enthusiasm.”

Alfie attempted not to smile at your words before nodding. If he was being honest, you were probably one of the few females who cared about him in a friendly manner and not for anything sexual, so he had complete respect for you to the point where he told his men that Jewish or not, you were off limits as well. When Alfie took you to his office to give you the plan he had to help Thomas, he looked at the bit of sadness in your eyes. “If you like him, why don’t you tell him?” You shrug. He wasn’t the first people to ask you this, but the words came out without a second thought. “I don’t know. It’s just not natural.” He furrowed his eyebrows. “What’s not natural? To like someone from a gang? From the mafia?” You nod and Alfie could agree with you, but Arthur found love and so did Thomas. However, he wasn’t going to tell you that because you knew and that’s what was hurting you.

------

You took a deep breath and made your way to Shelby Company Limited with the plans from Alfie. You will admit that Alfie made you feel a bit better, but not completely. After all, your feelings for Tommy weren’t going to fade away overnight. When you stepped foot into his office, your heart sank. You made your way to his desk and put the plans on his desk. “Here you go Thomas. Alfie said everything is there, but if you have any questions, you can phone him.” With that, you began to make your way out of his office which automatically confused him. “(Y/N), are you all right?” You nod. “Have a good night Thomas.” There it was again. You haven’t called him that in years. “Come here and take a seat.” You gulped before making your way back to Tommy and sitting in one of the seats in front of his desks. “What’s the matter?” He made his way over to the bottle of scotch before pouring himself a shot. He offered some to you as well, but you declined.

“There’s nothing wrong, I swear.” He sighs. “You’re aware that I’ve known you for years, correct?” Does he also know that those years meant something? Possibly not. “Why wouldn’t those years mean anything?” You froze as Tommy downed his shot, waiting for a response. You said it out loud, didn’t you? “It’s nothing. I wasn’t supposed to say that.” He put the glass down and looked over at you. “Then why would it cross your mind?” You didn’t want to answer him. You refused to let the truth be out, especially like this. “Don’t worry about it Tom.” He scoffs. “Fine you can go then.” The lump in your throat formed as the light from his office reflected off his gold band. Your eyes fell to the picture he had of Grace and Charlie on his desk and your breath began to shake. “Your sitting here telling me nothing is wrong, yet you’re about to cry?” You knew it was dumb, but you couldn’t hold it anymore.

“I love you Thomas, but you are not mine.” It was Thomas’s turn to freeze. “That can’t be true.” You scoff and wiped a tear off your cheek as you got up from the seat and made your way to the door. “How would you know that? Hmm? You wouldn’t Thomas. You wouldn’t know because you’re married with a child. You never saw me in that light anyway.” He raised an eyebrow. “You didn’t tell me before because you thought I wasn’t going to feel the same?” You shook your head. “You were stuck on Grace to even notice the smallest of advances, Thomas.” It hit him all at once now and he felt dumb that he didn’t see it before. However, he couldn’t admit to you that he liked you at some point, but Grace was stuck on his mind; he liked you, but loved her. “I don’t think you’re being honest.” But he knew how honest you were. “Yet the pain that I feel, try and tell me it’s not real.” It was written all over your face how much pain you were going through and Tommy couldn’t tell you anything as he just stared at you.

“That’s what I thought.” With that, you walked out of his office and made your way out of the building. Thomas ran a hand through his hair before taking out a cigarette and put it in between his lips before lighting it. He took a hit before letting out the breath of smoke and closing his eyes as he sat back down in his chair. You were now hurting because Tommy’s feelings went for someone else while yours stood on him. He knows you were throwing hints after he met Grace, but he didn’t think much of it. It wasn’t until he realized that the hurt in your eyes just wasn’t an ordinary crush, but instead, you were in love with him and sadly, your first love was wasted on someone who only liked you.

~~~~

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[rivetgoth]

I had this friend I met in the Hetalia fandom in like 8th-9th grade who was like, a lot older than me (I was like 12-13 when we met and she was like 17 or so), and we were REALLY close for a really long time, we'd talk and call every day and it got to a point where she was really dependent on me in this awful way where she would like constantly threaten suicide if I didn't answer her texts fast enough and shit like that. She was really rich cuz her dad was a doctor and one time she bought me an entire fucking Xbox One (I did not ask for it like... I'd always been a PlayStation gamer LOL) because she didn't have anyone to play Halo with her. My family still has it and uses it as a DVD player/Netflix machine.

Anyway the really batshit thing about this person (BESIDES the fact that she was like, definitely a pedophile who loved shota and frequently sexted me after she'd turned 18+ and I was like 14 and she also had both a bestiality and incest fetish that she'd talk to me about constantly — I was a kid I had no moral concept of anything and just liked being edgy and feeling mature) was that she was like. A chronic liar who constantly faked identities. And for years after cutting off contact with her I would look back and realize that she had faked even more than I had noticed at the time. The thing is, I knew for sure she wasn't lying about her home life -- Her address, what she looked like, her dad's profession, her age, her house, her pets, etc, were all things I had proof of. But when I knew her she was constantly remaking her Tumblr to escape drama she'd start, and she would constantly make side blogs under pseudonyms and pretend it wasn't her (sometimes it would be random shit like aesthetic blogs under different names or ask blogs for characters or smthn, other times it was like, callout blogs for people she had gotten into drama with where she would pretend to be someone else defending her). I assumed back then that I was always going to be in on it, because she would always tell me whenever she made one of these fake accounts, and sometimes she would encourage me to make a new account too as a sort of roleplay thing where we both pretended to be people we weren't... Until I learned that she wasn't always telling me. Every so often, I would become mutuals with a new account who would start messaging me about my interests and strike a conversation with me. Then something would slip and my "new mutual" would admit that they had actually been my friend all along... Which should have made me immediately cut contact because that's weird as shit, but I was young and she was a close friend, so I would just sorta accept it.

She ended up being like, horrifically transphobic. She got run off her blog twice for being specifically transmisogynistic, first insisting that she was allowed to headcanon canon trans women as feminine men and then on her next blog insisting that lesbians couldn't be attracted to trans women. I was still young and closeted and she was one of my closest friends and was constantly messaging me that the situation was making her suicidal and she was just wording things wrong and totally supported trans people and people just weren’t giving her the benefit of the doubt and she was still learning so I tried to just stay out of it without losing her. Then... I came out as trans lol. She stopped replying to me when I first came out and then made a bunch of vents on her tumblr about how much it upset her and about how “using he/him pronouns for AFAB people is triggering” for whatever fucking reason. She told me her “best IRL friend” who she had introduced me to once on Skype but who never logged in again after and who refused to ever do a group call or anything (definitely another fake account) said that it was irrational for me to expect my friends to respect my pronouns so soon after coming out and that I shouldn’t be upset if I get misgendered. Then she apologized but told me my name and pronouns would never fit me. As you can imagine, as a little baby trans kid who was closeted from my family and terrified of even having come to terms with being trans, I didn’t really have a great defense.

Soon she started being really woke like 2014 style Tumblr SJW to save face, she came out as nonbinary and told me in private it was because she felt bad when people called her cis during discourse (she absolutely wasn't nonbinary) and she coined a "new sexuality" that was "attraction only to people you perceive as feminine, regardless of how they identify" -- what this actually meant was "attraction to cis women and not trans women." She ran an aroace help blog despite not being aroace? And made a bunch of pride flags that I still see around sometimes to this day. She would start fights a lot and try to out-woke people and got into a bunch of drama with other SJW types of the day, got into a bunch of drama with TumblrInAction and Mogai-Watch and shit like that, and she claimed for a short while that she had a headmate (FWIW I totally believe DID is a legitimate thing but like. Trust me on this one.) who was transphobic and that it made her so sad, she told me that it was actually that headmate that had been transphobic before, and every so often her headmate would front out of nowhere and misgender me and use really abusive language like calling me a cunt or a bitch or whatever. She started making these "intersex nonbinary" OCs who she would constantly make porn of under the guise that they were representation for LGBT people who were just like, extremely fetishistic cuntboys and dickgirls (they were “intersex” to explain why they could be “girls with natal penises” or “boys with natal vaginas”).

At that same time, she somehow always managed to have these random, very sporadically active trans women mutuals who were apparently amazing friends of hers, who shared some interests with her but also would defend her when people brought up her past, with these long-winded “Well, I’m a trans woman and I think what she said is perfectly justified and everyone makes mistakes and she’s always been a good ally!!” Then one day some trans woman received an ask from her account where she claimed to be a “black trans woman” (she was, of course, a white cis woman) and she freaked out and claimed she had “been hacked by TiA or 4Chan to make her look bad” — I realize now she had just been sending anon messages pretending to be things she wasn’t and forgot to hit anon LOL. Late in all of this she also got into a bunch of hot water for being really antisemitic and saying she didn’t trust Jewish people because they were just like Christians and like, 5 seconds later she came out as Jewish and wrote this whole long sad vent about how she had had internalized antisemitism and then started going by a random Hebrew name LMAO.

In the end the final breaking point was when I found her secret TERF blog, where she had been making posts for months about how trans men are just insecure women who are trying to escape misogyny by stepping on the backs of “fellow women” and using me as a fucking example, and also saying that me not coming out as a trans man had been “basically rape” since she had been SEXTING me when she was 18+ and I was 13-14+ and that it was traumatic to know someone she had trusted was secretly identifying as a man LMAO. She was also obviously saying all sorts of transmisogynistic things, but also had these really bizarre fetish posts about wanting trans women to fuck her...? I confronted her about it and she literally fucking out of nowhere told me that she was in the emergency room with a mysterious illness that might kill her and she was allowed to have her phone but due to privacy laws couldn’t send a picture as proof. While “in the hospital” she deleted the TERF blog and her personal blog. I had known her for literal YEARS at this point (we had met when I was 12-13 or so and by the time we no longer spoke I was a few months from 17), and I was completely stunned to fucking hear this person trying to pull “I’m in the hospital with a deadly disease” at being confronted for some shit like that LMAO. I made a post about it on my public and another “trans woman friend” of hers logged in to vehemently defend her by saying that there’s nothing wrong with AFAB women being untrusting of trans people because female oppression is uniquely traumatic and that there’s nothing wrong with women expressing their sexuality by sexting minors as long as the minor consents and that I was the real predator for “hiding that I was a man” (remember, I’d been a 13 year old closeted trans boy), before never logging in again... 😭 One of the last times we ever talked was when she demanded I refund her for the fucking Xbox and I refused.

Anyway, the long-term aftermath of that is that a few people online (in some random cringe areas of the internet) who archived some of her antics still think that I also wasn’t a real person, since they caught onto how much she lied about too, so they think I was also a sock puppet and I have no interest in clarifying and making myself known to those people LOL. I have no fucking idea where she is now, she deactivated everything after her being a TERF came out. There’s like, so much more to that I could say because I knew her for YEARS and, like I said, she was one of my “closest friends.” Her parents had wildly expensive pure bred designer dogs that she would make Vines of. She wrote Beatles real person fan fiction. For her birthday one year I made her a shirt on Zazzle with an inside joke about one of her OCs... does she still have that? Either way, she was easily the most batshit person I’ve ever known closely online and I will forever associate the Hetalia fandom with people like that.

[phantaloon-books]

I finally read The Tyrant's Tomb and boi I loved this one so much, so here's some my opinion on it (they're not in chronological order)

warning, this is long af and sorry for cursing a bit, I can't help it

Apollo's character arc is lowkey one of the best Rick has written, I'm sorry if you don't agree, but he's gone from wanting others to solve his problems and relying on the halfbloods to intentionally avoiding others doing things for him, volunteering for the quests and saying it should be him that faces the terrible stuff so that demigods and other creatures don't suffer

something really interesting is how his perception of himself has changed, and it's almost worrying how genuinely self depreciating his inner dialogue is, because he no longer sees himself as mighty Apollo, he sees himself as worthless and useless Lester, and his narration is highkey depressing

Also, Apollo disliking and being somewhat disgusted of the god he used to be, realizing the horrible things he had done and how horrible he was and that he looked worse as the former Apollo than as Lester, regretting things he'd done, that's top tier development

(I'm sorry but I love the entire scene with the ravens, the part where he just screams "I'm sorry" it feels as if he isn't just apologizing to the ravens, but to everyone who's been affected by what he's done as a selfish god)

Reyna so openly turning down and laughing at Apollo for suggesting they be together is my favorite thing ever lmao I couldn't stop laughing, like she knew what gods can do if you turn them down (even if it was just mortal Lester) and she didn't give a damn, it was so fucking funny

people say Rick only includes diversity for the sake of including it and to gain popularity, but I still enjoy the fact that he does, because as a teacher he must have had all kinds of students of all religions, colors and sexualities, he includes diversity because he's seen diversity. anyway my point is I love that we have Lavinia, a Jewish lesbian from a Russian family, and she's not ashamed of being any of them

I'm sorry I just love Apollo so much, I've grown to respect him so much, and even if Hermes once said them gods often forget their oaths and promises, I have a feeling Apollo won't ever forget Jason's request that he never forgets what's it like to be mortal

Frank still admiring Apollo despite everything, and despite the fact that he looks like a messed up teen makes me go all uwu

Frank being portrayed as this clumsy and awkward kid but also this powerful and brave leader is my favorite thing ever because I think Frank is underrated and I dare to say that he's one of the strongest demigods we've ever met, even stronger than some of the nig three children

the whole thing about the undead army is honestly so creepy, especially when we see it from Apollo's perspective cause se him slowly succumb to the venom's effect, and that part in Tarquin's tomb where he "calls Lester to be part of his undead" was genuinely disturbing, at least to me

some books in the past have touched the part of the nature spirits not being given enough attention, but I really enjoyed how Apollo comes to realize that he only worries about demigods and gods when all lives are worth the same - mortals, halfbloods, nature spirits, gods, and even monsters

again, I love Apollo's arc, it's just AHH he's becoming so caring of life it just makes me happy

Reyna choosing herself to make herself happy is everything, and inspiring to every single woman who is told by others that they need someone to be happy, I just love it, because self love is the most important love of all

I haven't said anything about it, but man I love Meg and Apollo's friendship, they just care so much for each other, Meg who's so scared of losing her loved ones and Apollo who's so scared of not being able to be loved or to love, but they still love each other, and I'm glad it's not romantic, because yes fraternal love is also what people need, and their friendship is what they need

aurum and argentum being cute doggos rather than the steely (no pun intended) and cold dogs we met in HoO warms my heart. I don't understand why they're so cute and adorable, or maybe that's just how Apollo sees them, but they seem to act like actual dogs in this book

the fact that Reyna never confirmed nor denied being attracted to Thalia just makes me all hyped up, like we love Theyna

Apollo just gives off Eddie Brock vibes throughout the entire book and that's hilarious asf. ever since the start he's said to look like shit, feel like shit and be injured with deathly poison that will turn him to a zombie. if that isn't Venom vibes I don't know what is

I've said it once and I'll say it again, Frank Zhang is one of the strongest demigods Rick has ever introduced in a series, and him facing two immoral and godly in power emperors, burning one to death with his own life fire and injuring the other enough for Apollo to do the final kill is top tier

"If I'm going to burn, I might as well burn bright. This is for Jason." bitch actual goosebumps

We've seen countless deaths before, but something about Frank killing Caligula and Apollo killing Commodus seems so... mature I guess is the word, or well for a more mature audience. I can't describe how or why, but it feels more real, more like actual human death

I can't deal with how human Apollo seems in this book gosh I really am sorry I keep bringing this up, but I feel such warmth

the story of how Frank overcame his curse is actual BS and as much as I love Frank, it makes no sense that they spent all that time thinking of ways to keep the wood secure only for this. idk I mean id that were the case wouldn't the curse had vanished when he broke Thanatos free? he was willing to die then just like against Caligula, so why now but not then?

Don reincarnating into a laurel is peak bittersweet feeling and it actually hurt because in a camp where fauns were seen as dumb and useless, he helped Lavinia organize everything and destroy the canon things on the yachts

I'm still not over Jason's death, he really did deserve better. It makes sense, plotwise, because out of all of the huge characters from the past, Jason, Percy and Annabeth's deaths would impact others the harder, and push them to do better. And I understand that you gotta show, not even the main characters survive sometimes. Still, I'm hurt.

Thalia talking to Apollo during the funeral for the fallen campers made me actually weep. I'm not sure if it was because of Jason, or when Thalia talked about how much Artemis loves Apollo, or when Apollo "accepted" halfblood children of Zeus as his family

Also, you know who deserved better? Harpocrates, damn right he deserved better. I nearly cried when I read his death, cause he embraced it like one would an old friend in happiness. He and the Sybil deserved better. Dakota also deserved better

On the other hand, I tried so hard not to laugh at 2 am as I read Tarquin demand answers from a cat? he genuinely thought a cat would tell him where the Sybilline Books where and I couldn't handle that

This book is cruel but in a much more human way? The maiming of the pegasi wings? that's horrifying, but in such a human way, unlike what we've seen in any of the greek/roman gods series, and it's unsettling

Meg is braver than any of the other demigods were at that age (maybe excepting Nico), cause she's not embarking on a quest to retrieve an item or rescue someone or bring back their sister from the dead, she's facing her own abusive father while aiding a somewhat weak mortal in releasing the oracles and gaining godhood back. what's she getting from it all? absolutely nothing, she's gifted some seeds and she hangs out with unicorns more than other people and she's lost everything, but she's willing to lose more to help her friend. she's heroic like no one else is, because she's the first who doesn’t want anything more than being with her friend (Percy wanted whoever was taken back, Annabeth wanted to be able to be more, Nico wanted to bring back Bianca, even Bianca wanted freedom). the only other person who didn't have somewhat selfish (but kot wrong) interests while doing something heroic at a young age has been Hazel. What I mean is I love Meg and everything she does

Thalia being that chill over Jason's death bothers me so much, as if she wasn't the happiest when she found out the brother she lost 14 years ago was alive after all, and she had a part of her family back, and it was ripped from her, and Thalia is just not one to easily forget or move on from things, it's just unrealistic that she would only need a little furious session of throwing things to be okay with Jason's death as if her brother was not just taken from her all over again. it's impulsive Thalia we're talking about, who fought Percy when dealing with Annabeth going missing, it's just not her to be over his death that quickly. Sorry for Rick but I think differently

I also kinda don't like that Tyson went from being freaking General of the Cyclops, to the guy that has the Sybilline prophecies or whatever, it's important and all, but he would have been of great help during the battle and they had him waiting for help in the shrine hill like his potential went down the drain

but a thing I really loved was how different Camp Jupiter seems from Lester eyes compared from Percy's or Hazel's or Frank's perspective, it's hilarious. The other three see this place where everyone is serious and shit but Apollo just sees beyond the seriousness and it's actually refreshing, cause he's the first not to make CHB seem immature in comparison and like I said before I hated that in previous books

also Reyna laughing watered my plants, cured my depression, and made the world okay again, I just love her

all in all, this is my favorite book of ToA so far, and I'm really excited to see what's to come, and how Apollo and Meg will face Nero and Python, but more  than anything I'm looking forward to what will happen to Apollo, and whether if given the choice, he'd go back to being a selfish god or remain mortal for a while, with his newfound friends

Also I really miss Annabeth so can I please see Annabeth, I just want to see her cause she won't deal with Apollo's shit and I can't wait to see that, I miss my girl

[murderadawrote]

So the reader is a bartender as a front for moving cocaine through her bar. Alfie and Ollie are there one night drinking. No one knows that she's the mob leader, Alfie wants to start distributing his rum in her bar and asks to set up a meeting. When she shows up, she hinds behind one of those Chinese hand fans. Alfie recognizes her. "I'd know those eyes and that perfume anywhere."

A/N: I hope this is what you wanted to read and I had fun writing it (even though it’s 2am and I should be asleep already lmao);

—

the shadow of a man | alfie solomons;

summary: Y/N is a young woman who tries to hide her mob leader identity from the strangers; Alfie is the stranger who discovers the truth;

warnings: swearing, mentions of drugs, mob leaders;

—

There’s a moment in the life of a woman when people look at you thinking that maybe you’re innocent, pure, a butterfly trapped in a world full of spiders. This moment may turn into different single moments. They look at you and they think that you’re not ready, not even close. And what do you do? You cry? Take the first ship to escape? Tell your mother? No. You simply create an empire and then make them beg to work with you.

‘The Olmo’ was a simple bar in London when I took it and transformed it into something bigger and more courageous than anything else. That’s how people in London used to describe it, courageous. I guess that selling drugs in your own bar and becoming one of the biggest mob leaders had that effect on people. But ‘The Olmo’ was my home. All the young women had to be prepared for the different roles. Waitresses, singers, dancers, women that had the power to be loved without falling in love. However, at the end of the day there was me, in a corner of the bar serving drinks to different men. And nobody knew me, I was a shadow or the dream you keep forgetting whenever you wake up. However, it amazed me how one night a man named Alfie Solomons caught me, seeing something more behind the pretty eyes and the hard working woman. He saw Y/N.

“What if he doesn’t want to talk to me?”

I looked at the girl in front of me and frowned. “Have you seen yourself?” I paused for a second and looked at the mirror in front of us thinking about the right words. “Alright, you know the rules. You wait and count to seven, if he doesn’t want you then he has to talk to me and that means-”

I got interrupted by another voice. “And that means that you have to come with me, Y/N.” I recognized the voice of my secretary and assistant, Frances, one of the few people who had the courage to talk to me as if I wasn’t who I actually was.

I looked at Molly - the girl who I was talking to - and nodded with a slight smile. “You can do it.” I told following Frances out of the private room. “Just remember what I told you and follow the plan!”

The plan was simple. Following Frances out of the room and through the corridor had me thinking about all the phases of the plan. Every night the plan was the same, never changing because that would have been disastrous. Some chosen girls had to take care of and control the powerful men, those men who wanted me dead or poor, and if those men were too worried about me to enjoy some pretty girls then they needed to talk to my men. The plan was simple. We had to follow the plan.

“What is it?” I asked Frances before opening the door of the main room.

Frances sighed and looked between me and the door. “A man.” She paused and shrugged. “Ginger told me he doesn’t look at the girls nor talk to them.”

“Drunk?” I frowned thinking about the situation. “Maybe he-”

“He asked to talk to Olmo, Y/N.” Frances interrupted me serious. “Ginger told me about him as soon as she found me. Usually I tell the girls to tell these men to fuck off, but he’s Alfie Solomons.”

I stopped thinking and looked at my friend. “Alfie Solomons?” I repeated. “That Alfie Solomons? The Jewish bear from Camden Town?” I opened the door slightly to look for him. “Where is the bastard?”

“On the left.” Frances answered. “He’s with another man, younger than him.”

He was there, observing the people, the room and frowning under his beard. I had never seen him before, only heard about him through some girls who had a thing for him. I used to tell them that Alfie Solomons was just a man and not a god killed and reborn. And that was probably what I was telling myself the moment my eyes found him between the crowd of people. The bar was full of men and I used to serve them every night, looking at them with my innocent eyes and pretty smile. But they were just men. They weren’t Alfie Solomons, right?

I slowly closed the door and looked at Frances. “He’s gorgeous.” I mumbled feeling guilty. “And dangerous.”

Frances smirked at the sound of my words. “You have to talk to him now, right?” She asked knowing well that I had to do so. “You always need to talk to the men who ask to meet Olmo. You analyse them.”

“They’re not worthy, though.” I shrugged thinking about the next move. “I could talk to him but it seems a waste of time and money.”

Frances paused and looked at me waiting for my move. “Shut up and go talk to the bear!” She looked at the red dress I was wearing and smirked. “Looking at you he will forget about Olmo for tonight!”

I laughed and adjusted the dress before positioning myself in front of the door. “Count to seven and then kill him if I drink from the red glass.” I looked at her smirking. “You know the rules.”

Walking through the crowd I was perfectly invisible. Maybe only two or three people were curious about this mysterious woman whose eyes never met the others for a second or two. Who’s the woman? Probably another waitress. No men around her, no women glaring at her, no precious jewels on. She was a copy of the other girls around the room.

Ginger’s eyes met mine and she excused herself before I took her place behind the counter. Usually the people wanted to sit on the different little tables around the room. I learned that the only men who decided to sit in front of the counter while the tables were free were dangerous. And Alfie Solomons in that moment was the only man sitting in front of the counter talking to another young man, who had the habit to glance a little too much at Ginger.

“Alfie Solomons.” I said the name of the man in front of me. He was too worried about the different scenarios that were taking place in the room to think about the bartender, but strangely my voice caught his attention.

“Do I know you?” His eyes observed every inch of my body, studying me as if he was trying to tell if I was a problem. “Right, doll, you have a wonderful pair of eyes. I would have remembered them!”

I scoffed and slightly laughed. “Two other men told me the same thing tonight, Mr. Solomons.” I smirked. “But sadly I’m not here to accept complements.”

“Two other men? Well, I’m probably the only man who meant it.” Alfie’s eyes never left me alone. “Right, doll, why are you here?”

I looked away from Alfie for a second observing a smiling Molly talking to a man and smirked. “You want to talk to Olmo, Mr. Solomons, right?” The nod coming from the man in front of me made me continue. “Well, I’m his shadow. First you have to talk to me.”

Alfie looked stunned for a second before motioning to the younger man to leave him alone. His eyes then came back to me. “If you’re his shadow then I want you to tell him that I have to talk to him about business.”

“Business?” I narrowed my eyes as I thought about the words. “What kind of business?”

Alfie sighed and came closer to me. Between us there was only the counter. “I produce rum, doll, y’know?” He was deadly serious while talking about his job. “I may not be a saint but the rum is great and I think people here would love to drink my rum.”

I repeated in my mind all of the previous words. Rum. “Rum?” I looked curiously at Mr. Solomons. “You talk about rum as if it was the key to paradise.”

“Isn’t it, doll?” He paused and then continued after another look at the people around us. “Obviously Mr. Olmo can propose something too.”

“Usually Olmo isn’t the type of man who tells the others what he wants.” I shook my head frowning. “You should propose.”

Alfie Solomons had to take a pause thinking about what was the best thing to do. “I don’t talk to bartenders as if they were the fucking owners, doll.” He smirked and looked around him. “Where’s Olmo?”

“You want to meet him.” I stated looking at Frances who was in a corner of the bar and making her come to the counter. “Well, your offer is interesting. But you should pay attention to the words you use, you offended me.” When Frances arrived next to Alfie Solomons I smiled. “Frances, take Mr. Solomons to the Red Room, I’ll call Olmo.”

“You know, doll, you’re a great shadow!” Alfie stood up and started following Frances. “But cover your eyes, they keep distracting me.”

Making Alfie Solomons wait for a nonexistent man wasn’t the best choice, but looking for a way out of the situation started getting difficult. If people wanted to meet Olmo there was always my cousin, James, who came to London from a nearby little town. He had a boring job and he was thrilled to meet mob leaders presenting himself as Olmo. But James wasn’t here and I was too tempted to talk to Alfie Solomons as Olmo. A woman and a mob leader. What was I thinking about when I told him to meet Olmo? Suicide?

And that was when - completely taken by a panic attack - I was hiding in the girls changing room out of breath and looking for a solution. Then a long black coat caught my attention. It was hidden in the corner of the room, covered by different accessories, but in my mind it represented the way out of the trouble. Hiding myself covered by the long black coat and with a wide Chinese folding fan in front of my face, walking behind Alfie’s chair and faking a deep voice seemed like a great idea!

“What are you doing?” Frances told me in front of my office’s door. “It’s a stupid plan, Y/N.”

And she was right. But I was desperate to impress Alfie Solomons and I wanted him to talk to the mob leader and not the bartender.

When I entered the office, Alfie Solomons was on the chair in front of the table. The folding fan was still in front of me and the heels I had on before were given to a laughing Frances.

“You must be Olmo.” Alfie’s voice was strong and he didn’t turn around to look at me. “I hope that pretty doll told you about the fucking offer, right?”

Talking as a man wasn’t an easy option so I simply mumbled with the deepest voice I could have done. And if Alfie Solomons continued to talk then I was happy with that. “So I offer you the rum, right, and you could offer me something interesting that I don’t already have.”

Hearing the sound of the chair against the floor and a pair of shoes walking gave me a heart attack. He was already looking at the worst mob leader of the world. Not a woman, not a man nor a human being. I was the pathetic result of years of independence mixed with a single meeting with a special man. I became the little girl who used to hide behind her mother’s legs.

“Y’know, Olmo, whenever I talk to someone I’m used to observe their eyes.” Alfie was closer, maybe three meters away from me. “Maybe you, right, could help me doing it by removing the fan.”

I don’t know if it was the anger or the embarrassment or the brain, but my hands removed the fan by showing just my eyes. Not a single soul could have interrupted the moment. Alfie Solomons wasn’t shocked nor angry. His breath was normal and his eyes were kind. The ghost of a smirk was visible.

“Olmo.” He said coming closer to me. “I’d know those eyes and that perfume anywhere, doll.”

“You meant it.” I whispered removing completely the fan and leaving the coat on the floor.

“Now, I’m confused.” He mumbled scratching his beard. “Where is Olmo?”

“There’s no Olmo, Mr. Solomons.” I shrugged looking at my feet as if I was a little girl in front of her parents after a terrible mistake. “I’m Olmo. I’m the mob leader.”

Alfie Solomons was staring silently at me. “Right, doll, you could have fucking told me before.” He said taking the coat. “Now, I won’t take my offer back so can I fucking talk to the person who owns this place?” He frowned before continuing. “Are you free tomorrow night?”

I looked at Alfie’s eyes. He didn’t care if I was a woman leading an empire. He saw me as Y/N. And that was the beginning of a deep and dangerous relationship.

[cthayers]

hiya it is sam back at it with another muse already ... so as you will soon find out i have little to no will power ... and i had no idea we’d be able to take up second muses so soon but i literally was already working on this beotch because i knew i wanted to bring her in eventually ! camila is a v old muse of mine that i have never had the opportunity of playing in a group but i figured this was the perfect opportunity and so here we are . 

did you hear how CAMILA THAYER is applying to columbia university as an ENGLISH major ?! the TWENTY year old is living in the WATT HALL. i heard that they got in because they are + CREATIVE and + PASSIONATE, but honestly i think SHE can be - RESERVED and -ARROGANT. they’re a real ACADEMIC. oh well, only time will tell if the SOPHOMORE will make it til the end.  

full name : camila allen thayer

nickname : cam , cami 

birthday : june 15, 1999

zodiac : gemini sun, cancer moon, aquarius rising 

nationality : american

ethnicity : 1/2 ashkenazi jewish, 1/2 english 

religion : atheist  

sexual & romantic orientation : bisexual , biromantic

hometown : hampton , new hampshire & cheraw , south carolina 

accent : twinge of a southern accent , but mostly a posh new england accent

languages spoken : english , conversational french

major : english 

minor(s) : latin & french

hobbies : reading , horseback riding , tennis , piano playing 

aesthetics : plaid skirts and knee socks , clawfoot bathtubs , sylvia plath poetry books , thin framed glasses , pink highlight , wandering through the met , film cameras , hand written letters + PINTEREST

character parallels : astrid sloan ( the politician ) , camille preaker ( sharp objects ) , amma crellin ( sharp objects ) , camilla macaulay ( the secret history ) , serena vanderwoodson ( gossip girl ) , donna sheridan ( mamma mia here we go again )

personality & headcanons 

camila has always been a quiet individual , especially around those she doesn’t know . calm , cool , collected , many people’s initial impression of her is that she hates them due to her resting bitch face and the lack of acknowledgment she gives before she’s truly comfortable around a person 

she does not open up easily , and doesn’t really know how to handle being loved . so she typically doesn’t let anybody get that close . 

major abandonment issues and daddy issues . so she seeks validation from men and also if she lets you in be prepared to fucking stay 

doesn’t party much because she prefers to stay in and study or be with her closest friends , she drinks but prefers small social gatherings with those she’s close to 

has a nasty cigarette habit and shows no signs of stopping 

her favorite season is the fall , and her favorite holiday is halloween 

i think she’s v mysterious sort of ? like , this really pretty girl that keeps to herself mostly , and her small group of friends , but she’s got this alluring aspect of her that draws some near .. v greek mythology siren esque 

very soft , but also not at all ? like wears skirts and knee socks and berets and flow-y white dresses and sits in coffee shops while it rains reading poetry BUT , she can be dangerous . seductive , arrogant , selfish , and quite emotionless at times . v ice maiden type , will use beauty to get what she wants in the most subtle of ways 

so basically she comes off as this sweet , elegant woman with a soft smile who spends her weekends at museums , but when you get closer to her ( if you get closer to her ) you might see a much darker side to her 

kind of into that witchy shit , so

background

camila was the second child born to marianne allen, though her older brother has a different father. her brother was born when marianne was just seventeen, running away from her perfect new hampshire home and her perfect new hampshire family to raise the child with his father in a small town in south carolina 

they had planned to run away and meet in south carolina , though the father never showed . so it was just marianne and this baby boy , but it wasn’t long before marianne found herself pregnant again , another local farmer boy , thomas thayer 

so camila was born , and it was the four of them in this tiny home that barely fit all of them , and marianne was just shy of twenty and didn’t even want to be a mother , so life wasn’t all that great for the thayers . 

camila’s mother was never very maternal , and her father was a drunk . he didn’t truly love marianne , nor did he love camila very much . he especially didn’t love her brother , who wasn’t even his child . 

camila and her brother stuck together , a dynamic duo of sorts . they were best friends and had each other’s backs through anything . at night , when they could hear their parents fighting , they would cuddle up in bed together and talk about their happiest thoughts , the lives they wished they had , so on . 

at seven , thomas thayer decided to call it quits . he left in the night without so much as a goodbye , and though he had never felt particularly close to camila , camila felt close to him . it was her father after all , and she craved his attention , his validation . 

at nine , her grandparents in new hampshire were finally able to locate them . getting cps involved , they were granted full custody of the kids , and camila and her brother were taken away from their mother and put into a new , grandeur home with these old people they’d never even heard about before . it was not a welcomed change , though it would soon be . 

the first thing she discovered at her grandparent’s home was her grandfather’s library . he was a retired professor at dartmouth , and had an entire room full of literary classics , academic journals , and other first edition books . as a child , camila was not allowed in without his supervision , though she often snuck in without permission . 

she was put into private school where she was expected to achieve excellent marks and commit to extracurriculars , though she was so behind in her schooling due to the underprivileged education system she’d faced in south carolina , that it took her a while to get back on track . though once she did , she excelled . they found that camila was incredibly gifted in creative and liberal subjects , such as art , english , and history . still , she excelled in math and science , though had to put forth a little more effort . 

she took up horseback riding and tennis , but nothing could replace the comfort she felt in cuddling up with a good book from her grandfather’s library , in front of their grand fire place with a mug of her grandmother’s hot cocoa , or playing the piano in her grand parents’ grand hall

though she lived a life of luxury , her and her brother spent two - four weeks every summer going down to visit their mother . each year , as she got older , she began to realize just how broken her mother was , and truly began to understand why her grandparents felt the need to take her children from her . 

camila , though not necessarily a tomboy , had always surrounded herself with boys . all her best friends were boys , and she hardly ever got along with her girl classmates . perhaps it had something to do with growing up so close to her brother , and often befriending his friends . 

when she was sixteen , though , her guy friends started seeing her differently . boys , in general , began to really notice her . this was the first time she realized she was closed off to love . she had a boyfriend during her junior year of high school , and on the night he told her he loved her , she simply responded “ no , you don’t . ”

anyway ! getting accepted into columbia was a dream come true , though no one was all that surprised . she’d also been accepted to dartmouth ( her grandparents’ alma mater and where he taught , and where he’d urged her to go ) and brown , but something about new york city was enticing . she’d always lived in small towns , under twenty thousand people , and moving to a big city with millions seemed like a nice change of pace 

she has made one close knit group of friends during her freshman year , though she’s still only a sophomore and we know how those things change . nonetheless , if you weren’t one of those people , you probably wouldn’t know who she was , because she didn’t get out much ( mayhaps she was seen around campus though ) 

wanted connections !

alright enough about camila if you got through all that i’m so sorry KJAHKSJGH but ! i have quite a few connections i’d love 

the close friends she made freshman year . these would be pretty much the only people camila hung out with last year , and though things can change , the only people she’ll hang out with at the start of this year . i imagine this group to be mostly guys ( though not necessarily exclusively ) , because she tends to befriends boys as opposed to girls ? i’d say about 5 people ! ( 1 / 5 )

her number one best friend . this would have to be a male or male presenting muse , as camila has never found herself that close to a girl , reasons unknown tbh , she just gets along with boys better IDK inspo : ( x , x )  ( 0 / 1 )

close girl friend . that being said , every girl still needs her girlies . so she’d be fairly close to this girl , even if she doesn’t open up that much , perhaps the girl feels like she can open up to camila ? this can all be plotted out ! i feel like camila is a v good secret keeper , she doesn’t talk all that much so you can expect her to keep anything safe lmao ( 0 / 1 )

toxic relationship . sooo tbh this gotta be with a muse who is not a good guy , because camila is not that good of a gal ? . i see this being sort of on again , off again ? i’m not sure if either of them truly feel anything for one another , but they must feel something that keeps them going back to one another . though camila doesn’t really open herself up to love , she’s not necessarily closed off from relationships . ya girl needs to be satisfied and she ain’t the type to sleep around ok ? anyway i see them being really possessive of one another and having p explosive fights , definitely not right for each other and yet !!! also just to be clear , i see them as mutually bad for one another it’s not one sided ! just give me this angst pls . inspo : ( x , x , x , x ) ( 1 / 1 ) lukas tozer

unrequited crush . this would be unrequited on the other muse’s behalf . open to m/f/nb and whether or not camila knows there is a crush there can be plotted out ! basically this just goes along with the hc that camila is very mysterious and allurring from afar , and that those who don’t know her all that well tend to be drawn to her and a lot of times will romanticize her ? but also for extra angst i am possibly thinking that the two are v close and camila does know and won’t let them like her buT we can figure it all out . lmao .  anyway ya inspo : ( x , x , x  , x ) ( 0 / 1 )  

also just general plots i’d love to see : someone she tutors in english or journalism or literature anything regarding that sort of subject , bad influence / someone determined to get her out of her shell ,  enemy plots !! gimme girls who think she’s a snob or boys who think she’s a bitch or everything in between , study buddies , girl crushes because camila is bi and thinks every girl is pretty , give me anything under the sun tbh i’m open to so much 

[bobbyischill]

My Relationship With Andi Mack

Two years ago, when I was in 10th grade, my GSA advisor was telling me and a friend about a Disney Channel show. She hadn’t watched it yet, but apparently one of the main characters had just come out as gay! I was really happy for Disney and glad that queer kids all over the world had someone like them to look up to. However, I, a 15 year old, a mature teenager, wouldn’t really enjoy a kids show, right? So I went about the rest of my day without giving it a second thought....

Until I went home and opened up Tumblr. One of the first posts I saw was someone giving props to Disney for making such a diverse, inclusive show that was actually GOOD. They said it reminded them of Girl Meets World, except it was a million times better and diverse. Okay fine, I thought. I guess I’ll check out Andi Mack. (BOOYY I HAD A BIG STORM COMING)

I opened up my iPad around 10:30pm and decided to watch an episode or two, depending on how tired I was. After the very first episode, I recognized that this show was special. Like, REALLY special. The characters were fleshed out and unique. There was the “twist” about Bex being Andi’s mom. The friendships and relationships felt real. I knew I was going to binge the whole show that night.

That night, as I continued on with the show, I fell in love with each one of them. They all had their own quirks, they were all nuanced. I fell in love with how competitive, protective to a fault, and caring Buffy was. I fell in love with how awkward and goofy and relatable Cyrus was. I fell in love with how kind and oblivious Jonah was. I fell in love with how hard-working and funny Andi was, and how much she cared about certain things and the people around her. I fell in love with the dynamics between certain characters and how they were always changing. I loved how it tackled racism in school (Buffy had to change her hair or be sent home), how unfair dress codes are to students (especially girls), how you need to take a stand for what you believe in (the prison uniforms), and how stepping out of your comfort zone is a good thing, even if you get hurt (Andi watching a horror movie and being terrified, but not regretting it). This was all in the first season.

This show already meant so much to me. And then Cyrus looked back at Jonah. In the words of Jonah Beck, “I cried”. Just that hint of representation was more than I had ever scene on Disney or any other show marketed to kids.

And then Cyrus came out to Buffy. I, a pansexual who was out to my friends but not any of my family and who still struggled with intense internalized homophobia, burst into tears. I related to how ashamed and afraid Cyrus looked. I needed to hear Buffy’s heartfelt response. “You may be weird, but you’re no different.” That phrase was constantly bouncing through my head for at least the next few days (and if I’m being honest, it still is). I wrote it all over my notes and assignments because it was literally all I could think about for such a long time. I saw the sign on the wall that said “G: for General Audiences.” That showed me that Disney (or at least Terri Minsky, my queen) truly felt that I wasn’t a freak. I didn’t need to hide my identity from anyone if I didn’t want to. My identity wasn’t a mature subject; it was for general audiences. (Also, I just want to add that Sofia and Josh’s acting in this scene was absolutely fantastic. It was so raw and emotional, and it still makes me cry every time I see it.)

And then in that same episode Cyrus and Buffy talked about his crush on Jonah. They did it so casually, and my mind was blown. At this point, I had honestly never seen so much gay representation in a show as this.

That night, I stayed up until 5am. I was rewatched Cyrus’s coming out scene about 10 times. I fangirled about it on Tumblr. I added “Tomorrow Starts Today” to my Spotify playlist. I even wrote a diary entry about it. (I only write in my diary when I’m feeling very intense emotions that I need to write down in order to figure out.)

The next day at school, I told all my Gay Friends about Andi Mack and how amazing it was. A few of them got into it, and it was fun talking to them about it, but after a while I was pretty heavily hyperfixated on it and I needed more. And I felt like I was bothering my followers with constant posts about how much I loved Andi Mack. So I made this blog. @cyrus-made-tshirts. I haven’t changed the name since. That’s how I became an official part of the friendom.

I love this fandom. I don’t even know many people personally or have made many friends through it, but this fandom was everything to me. I loved the posts, the crackhead theories, josh’s account. I loved the crackships, the real ships, the overanalyzing of every line, of every movement, of every promo. I loved watching the reactions on YouTube. I loved making posts about the show and having hundreds of people relate to it or find it funny, especially the gay ones. My very first post to get more than 50 notes was one about how Miranda and Bex would make a cute couple (this was before Miranda was revealed to be a snake.)

For the past year and a half, Andi Mack has been my life. I have survived the many ship wars. I have survived the months-long hiatuses. I have survived the ominous tweets and posts Josh has made and the frenzy of panicking everywhere that followed it. And I have loved every minute of it.

I’ve seen these characters I love grow up before my eyes. They’ve all changed and evolved and matured so much. There’s so much more representation since I started watching the show. There’s a character with a learning disability, characters with anxiety, a homeless character, a deaf character. There’s been multiple episodes celebrating Jewish and Chinese culture. I’ve seen Cyrus go from nervously nodding in agreement that he liked a boy to unprovokingly telling his friend he liked that boy to flat-out telling his ex-crush he is gay to holding hands with his crush in public. I’ve seen all of Cyrus’s friends support him unconditionally. I’ve seen him find his happily ever after (for middle school, at least).

And then the last episode aired. I knew I was never going to be prepared for it, but HOLY SHIT, it’s over. And the finale was like a fanfiction it was so good. I watched it live on Thursday night at midnight. I freaked out about it online for three hours, then watched it on Disney Now. I pulled an all-nighter because I just kept rewatching it online until Friday night, when I watched it air on Disney. The way Cyrus and TJ sang Born This Way with the rest of the characters cured my depression, cleared my skin, and watered my crops. The bench scene was so fucking beautiful and romantic it caused me to hyperventilate. The acting from both Luke and Josh was incredible. Honestly, Luke crushed it the entire time as TJ and the bench scene was the icing on top. This scene meant more to met than some people could ever know.

A couple months ago, I was in a pretty shit place emotionally and mentally. Literally the only thing stopping me from killing myself was the guilt of leaving my friends and family behind. I needed another reason to stay, something to keep me grounded. And that reason became Andi Mack. I promised myself I would live to see the day Tyrus became canon. And I did it. I’m in a much better place now, and I’m not going to do anything stupid now that Tyrus has become canon (TYRUS HAS BECOME CANON!!! AAKDBEISSHSB I STILL HAVENT PROCESSED THAT YET!!!!). But at the time, I really needed Andi Mack to help me keep fighting. And it was there for me. And I will always be indebted to it for my life.

This show has helped me in so many other ways. It’s helped me drastically reduce my internalized homophobia. It’s given me a community of people that understand me. It’s created so many characters that I love. So thank you to Terri Minsky for creating this show and amazing characters that I will love forever. Thank you to Disney for funding it and not completely censoring it. Thank you to the crew for working tirelessly to make this happen. Thank you to Peyton, Emily, Asher, Josh, Luke, Lilan, Trent, Garren, Sofia, and every other actor for pouring their heart into this show. A special thank you to Josh and Luke for making me feel safe and loved and for caring so much about their story arcs. (And their political activism is pretty awesome, too.)

I’m really going to miss screaming about this show with you guys. I really hope that some people keep creating fanart and fanfics and keep making memes and crackships. I hope the friendom never dies. Because every one of you is so special and fun to hang out with online. And I’m really gonna miss it. And now I’m crying, and this is getting WAYYY too long, so I’m gonna stop talking now lmao. But I want to say this show has changed me in so many ways and I’m grateful to every single person involved, including the amazing friendom. I’ll love you all forever. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[seb-ass-tian-stan]

Oops! | Sebastian Stan fic | Three

Pairing: Sebastian Stan x Eve (ofc)

Summary: Eve (22) and Lisa (20) are best friends, living in New York. Lisa is 40 year old actor Sebastian Stan’s daughter. One night, when Eve’s date blew her off and Sebastian came back to town, they sat to catch up in a bar. What happens next is… Oops.

Warnings: Language, Age Gap, Sexual Tension, Drinking.

Word Count: 1.3K (oooouuu finally something i wrote that’s over 3 paragraphs this is exciting)

A\N: I forgot to mention that english is my second language so forgive me for any mistake.

 two

For her, it was game on. She knew he was under her spell in some form or another. The things that were exchanged that day on the rooftop were simply formalities, seeking to hide truths.

Fun and dangerous truths.

For a while, there have been several times of these truths almost being unveiled.

One of them, was when Eve had plans with Lisa and their friend group to go out and about. With a spaghetti sleeved red dress and a red plastic flower in her hair, she stood in the hallway, waiting for a certain short, charcoal haired lady to open the door and welcome her in for a small pre-outing drink.

Instead, Sebastian greeted her with wild feathery hair, low-hanging sweats, a white shirt and, lest we forget, a devilish and slightly self-absorbed smile.

His tall structure towered over her petite one, but she didn't flinch. With confidence, she declared, "Hello, kind sir."

"Hello, fair lady." He moved to cross his arms and lean to the side. "Is there a Lisa here?"

"She's in the shower."

"What, fuck! We said 9, why the hell is she showering just now?"

"I gave her all the punctuality genes."

"She'll be long?"

"She just got in."

"I'll just wait here then." She said and made it seem as if she was about to sit down on the hallway floor.

"Get in, you vermin." He laughed, got behind her and jokingly pushed her inside.

"A-ha-re you sure you're cool with it?" She said while stumbling a bit.

"Perfectly fine. You want coffee? Tea?"

"Gin."

"I don't think there's gin here." He quickly searched the fridge.

"There is. Why'd you think I came over? To take out your garbage?"

"You've gotten salty."

"Do you like it?" She sat down on the couch, he put down his glass of wine and gave her the gin. He sat down and gazed at her for some while, enchanted.

"I do."

"Have I gotten a confession out of the great Sebastian Stan? Be careful, you're starting to let your guard down." She said and chugged some liquor down her throat.

"I already have." He put a hand behind her, on the back of the couch, she, in response, leant in a bit.

"When was that?" 

He moved his gaze to her lips, "Every night for the past week."

Rude of him to say that. She could not hold her feelings (which were a mix of arousal, worry and excitement) in, so she made an unconscious move closer to him. Their lips were now extremely close but not touching, breathing warm air, making their mouths gape a little.

"This is risky." Eve mumbled, moving slightly closer but not yet meeting him. "We shouldn't." The stopping of the water sounds coming from the shower made Eve successfully shook herself out of the bubble. In a panic moment, she got off her seat.

“Lisa’s done.”

“Sit down, it’s fine.” He said while holding her wrist and giving her a look that, later in life she’ll describe as the second most relieving (and breathtakingly beautiful) look she has ever recieved, which made her feel less like a sad backstabbing perverted excuse for a best mate, and more like a woman who’s simply starting to fall for this charming man.

She back down casually, taking the gin in her hand. 

“That’s gonna be hard to set aside.” She said.

“It’ll be much harder for me. believe me.” He laid back, desperate. She got up and told him, “Well if that’s any help, m’gonna go help your daughter pick an outfit. Lisa! You done?” She shouted from the hallway, leading to the bathroom and her bedroom. 

He quickly got up, “Thanks, that’s about ruined the moment. Appreciate it.”, and went to his bedroom. She turned to him and giggled sweetly, going the opposite direction. 

“Get out of the fucking bathroom, L. Your Dad’s tryna’ be funny.” She said, purposefully loud.

Eve would return from each of these rendezvous’s to her empty, tiny flat. After her time in Europe, moving back to New York after a time of working minimally and traveling in several expensive countries (except when she visited Hungary to see where her jewish family lived back in the early 30s) had her moving to the tiniest of places in the filthiest of neighbourhoods, with a flatmate that, unfortunately had to move back to Boston.

Therefore, she had to decorate it to make it a home. 

Her efforts included hanging a ridiculous amounts of fairy lights on the wall (the place being so little meant the string of lights covered every section of it other than the toilettes, which played for her favour), cascading plants, photographs that she took and messy piles of clothing. The latter contributed the most to warm homely feeling. 

But there was one thing missing. She’d come home charmed by his looks, his scent and his words, and have him nowhere near. The coziness she’s fabricated aroused her and the sparkling light caused her to romanticise it all the more.

What made that even worse was the hasty intoxication she’d indulge in every time she hung out with dear Lisa.

So combine all that, and you got Eve texting Sebastian in the middle of the night, after seeing him when stopping by Lisa’s to take her out, not exchanging a single word since, this time, her friend was ready on time.

1:38AM: “hi LISA’S DAD this is her friend eve”

1:40AM: “fisrt of all, i feel like i miss you which is weird”

2:11AM: “second of all you looked really good today. i really held myself there lmao”

3:03AM: “also”

The next day she was working, to her sorrow. She came in late to the coffee shop (which she swore was only a temporary thrice weekly job until she’d get promoted at the production company she was working for as a camera assistant) tired and hungover. 

After being on her feet for 2 hours, serving coffee for poor art students, a tall man with a hat and a pair of sunglasses approached to the cash register stand where she was and said, “Also what?”

The camouflage was lousy, and fooling only bypassers who had no reason to suspect it was in fact Sebastian Stan. And she saw that as an opportunity to poke fun at him, as usual.

“Hey there Joel Goodsen, came here in ya Dad’s Porsche did ya?” She said without raising her eyes at him from cleaning the counter. He simply chuckled and before saying anything, she continued.

“You smartmouth. You don’t remember last night, do you..?”

“Fuckin’hell. I don’t get it, I woke up at my place. How--”

“No, Eve. We didn’t do anything.”

“That’s too bad.”

“You did.” He said and she gave an examining look. “You texted me.”

“Oh.” 

She dragged him after her to a locker room in the back, originally made for the waiters to change to their uniforms in but turned by them into a smoking room along the years. 

“Show me what I wrote.” He clumsily took his phone out the back pocket of his trousers and handed it to her. 

“What’s the passcode?”

“061299″ He impulsively said and she gasped, “Should’ve guessed it.”

When she opened the texts, she was reading in with confusion and he looked at her from above, grinning. “Also what, Eve?”

She opened her mouth to explain that she was too drunk to have intention behind her words, but if there was intention, it was probably booty calling him. She was about to say that when she suddenly felt his lips attaching to hers in a sweet motion. Her eyelids fluttered when they started to dance around with hers, and her arm took the back of his neck to bring him closer.

Everything was new; the warmth of his mouth, the feeling of his hair between her fingers and his arm around her waist, caressing lightly. He pulled her body closer and his tongue met hers. The sweetness of his tongue made her unwillingly release a small moan, he, in response started laughing into the kiss, which made them detach, not before leaving several extra pecks. 

“Meh.” she said and he chortled.

“Unbearable. Absolutely unbearable.”  

taglist: @joyofbebbanburg  masterlist

[tamayokny]

thoughts on dark phoenix. spoilers below.

if you don’t want to read all of this, skip to the bottom where it’s all summarized?

first, i came in knowing that i would be disappointed in the film in some way but still, i was excited! the x-men are my life; my family.

anyway...

the first hour...idk lowkey the editing threw me off. it was lowkey...uh...bad. at least some parts were. i really enjoyed the last hour.

liked the x-men in space scene...and when miss jean grey absorbed the phoenix force? RIIIIIIIISE!

before i continue let me just say: i love you sophie belinda turner jonas. stay iconic; a legend and you did great with what you were given! fuck everyone who said you “ruined [x-men and game of thrones] in the same year” (yeah, i saw that in a facebook comment! lmao i HAVE to laugh at that.)

i’m glad the movie covered charles’s flaws as a teacher, if only a little bit. from experience, i know that you should not repress trauma like that because it will rise and be...a mess. so they covered that well.

i've also seen a lot of arguments over charles xavier’s character in dark phoenix and honestly? i thought it was fine. it reflected his comic counterpart more in recent years. (y’all should be happy that scott didn’t kill him in this movie! lol)

rip to mrs. smith and the rest of her dinner party (the husband was kind of a dick, though).

as much as i love jessica chastain, i really didn’t like the antagonists in this film. they provided a GREAT fight scene and conflict in the peak moments of the film, but i wish they focused on the bond between jean grey and the phoenix more, as well as how it affected the team.

AND BEFORE I FORGET: DAZZLER CAMEO DAZZLER CAMEO!! I loved it.

the confrontation between jean and her teammates outside of her father’s house was great. i liked when kurt tried to stop her and they went through the walls. OUCH when quicksilver got hurt though...i felt that.

also: remember when we all thought quicksilver was going to be one of the deaths? lmao

speaking of deaths...mystique really is dead and honestly? thank god. i hated how they’ve written her character in the past two movies. it also doesn’t help that i dislike the actress...her best movies were first class and days of future past but once they started to put her on the hero route? no thanks

i’m sad that they never explored or outright stated that mystique is kurt’s biological mother. (for the non-comic fans: kurt is the son of azazel and mystique.)

hank’s grieving and his lashing out on charles...and then he went to magneto so they could kill jean...good job nicholas 

i must ask: what was the relationship between beast/mystique? like where they romantically involved or still kind of tip toe-ing around? some scenes implied they had feelings for sure but....idk

GENOSHA, BABY! GEN-O-SHA!

jean entering this mutant haven was beautiful but magneto’s entrance? omg i lowkey wanted to laugh. magneto remains to be dramatic and i love it

i also liked the helicopter scene

okay so back with the team:

peter got hurt so you don’t see him until the very end of the film

kurt was used pretty well

ororo was underused when it came to the dialogue department. my girl barely said anything BUT: her action scenes were amazing and i’ll get to that in a minute

to the surprise of no one, while kurt remained hopeful but wary and ororo believed jean to be dangerous (which, she is and was), scott was on charles’s side and firmly believed that they could bring jean back. 

i wish the dark phoenix was able to cement the scott/jean relationship more because while i knew they were a couple, it would probably be difficult to know how serious they were. (yes, some scenes showed it but idk how impactful they were?)

okay so fast forward a bit: jean and vuk (jessica chastain) are in new york so magneto, hank, and two other mutants on their side are there to kill jean, and then the x-men show up to save/stop that from happening.

this fight scene was pretty cool...especially when magneto brought that subway car above ground and used it to enter the building jean and vuk were in...magneto, ever the dramatic king who i love

the charles/jean moment...heartfelt. like i mentioned, this covered one important aspect of the dark phoenix saga: xavier's faults. he believed he was doing the right thing and when jean saw how her (biological) father reacted to her...she understood. while i believe what charles did was fucked up and i still would have been pissed, i would have forgiven him like jean did, because he gave her hope and a chance. it was hope to help her manage her abilities, and a chance to life as a mutant because let’s face it, if she would have gone in the child services system she would have been fucked.

and then like any other x-men movie: the government got involved, subdued all the mutants (scott blasted vuk out the building, so she wasn’t captured), and they were locked and loaded on the train. jean got isolated from the rest of them.

BEFORE I CONTINUE: when scott said “i’ll fucking kill you!”...i almost started laughing. i’m sorry, but it’s the truth.

anyway on the train: vuk and the rest of the alien shapeshifters come to wreck shit up and the killed most of the guard (which caused kurt to go on a killing rampage after one of them died in front of him....okay. i was kinda impressed tbh, despite most depictions of kurt would probably not do that.)

the mutants fucked shit up! i think the 2 mutants that helped magneto were both killed though, which made me :// like really? k.

which reminds me: i wish psylocke and jubilee were in dark phoenix but the actresses had other film commitments, so i understand and forgive. also...still said about angel and his fate in apocalypse :( angel is always the most mistreated out of the original 5 lmao.

anyway that train fight scene was really good...despite barely having dialogue (:/) SHE KICKED ASS. and when erik destroyed part of the train? KIIIIIIIING!!!!!

BUT THEN JEAN UNLEASHED PHOENIX AGAIN!!! AND SHE FUCKING TOOK THAT TRAIN, PROTECTED HER FAMILY, AND DESTROYED THE REMAINING ALIENS. FUCKING QUEEN! MCU CAPTAIN MARVEL WHO???? MCU WANDA??? MCU THOR???? NO. JUST JEAN GREY BITCHES.

jean sacrificed herself...i remember reading something that said “2 confirmed x-men deaths” and i knew it was going to be mystique and jean

but honestly i was thinking “three deaths” because fuck, i thought jean was going to kill scott! like i’m disappointed how they didn’t focus on jean’s destruction on everyone and being like...evil. lmao i was really hoping but simon you played me, huh. (great marketing i guess?)

jean died but didn’t die, knowing how jean grey is lmao

they renamed the school after jean and i’ve seen people being salty about it LMAO....they renamed the school for jean in the comics (it changed back eventually...?) so stay mad

people are also mad that charles retired and fucked off to paris adfcrvhfbg

while i don’t think charles would have retired (well...that could be debatable?), i think for the end of FOX x-men, it was okay

also erik offering charles a place to stay in paris???? fucking PARIS??? THE CITY OF LOVE??????????? I’M FUCKING LOSING IT!!!!

AND THAT GAME OF CHESS BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!

the very last shot was of the sky, where you could see the phoenix in the air......yoooooooOOOOOOOOO

okay so before i tell you all my summary, let’s talk about why dark phoenix may not have done so well, or at least part of it:

the mutants are now owned by disney, since the disney/fox merge became official (fuck). so, because of this, dark phoenix had to go through reshoots (which brought us that glorious train fight). apparently, the dark phoenix saga was going to be in three parts but because of the merge...that’s not happening. so, dark phoenix is officially the last x-men movie (unless you count new mutants that will be released on disney+, last i've heard). so, because of this, i think this last movie left a lot of fans unsatisfied because we all know that there should have been more to the story, and they had it planned out! unfortunately...disney has to fucking buy everything.

another reason: the x-men/fox superheros are not as hyped as the MCU/disney superheroes. you know this. i know this. and after a few releases from the MCU this year? the x-men didn’t stand a chance. let me also add: fuck the critics, there’s been such a disconnect between them and the audience for years. i’m not saying dark phoenix was perfect, but it’s not as horrific as people (critic and audience) have been saying.

now, the final thoughts and summary: 

i went into the theatres knowing it wasn’t going to be the best thing ever. it was average; that’s the best i can describe it. it had good moments and it had bad moments. jean grey as dark phoenix was not as antagonistic as i hoped and while i enjoy jessica chastain, I really didn’t like the villains of the film. i wish chastain was the “physical embodiment” or whatever it was of the phoenix like many speculated. dark phoenix should have focused on jean (which it did but...), her relationships with her teammates, scott, xavier (it did brush on it), and other core values of the dark phoenix saga. it would have been great to see this all play out but unfortunately, things change.

thank you, fox, for twenty years of the x-men. just like how they changed the comic book industry (they made marvel comics), the very first x-men movie is the reason why we have our many superhero films today. remember that. good luck with them MCU, and don’t you fucking dare mess them up!

let me also add a thank you to the x-men cast. with dark phoenix, they all certainly gave their best. sophie did it, and i will miss tye sheridan as cyclops. most of all, i think i will miss michael fassbender as magneto. while he may not be jewish, he certainly gave his all. he really studied magneto and i respect and admire him for that. also rip to rose byrne as moira mactaggert. where the fuck was she when the events of dark phoenix went down??

[aefintyr]

what's one thing u want people to know or remember about ur muses?

Uhhhhhhhhhhh, this is an unexpected question lmao I literally had to sit here for a few minutes and just like, think about it. Because I’m like, terrible at headcanons. I usually keep that shit in my brain or I vomit it at friends lol

LETA PYRITES

As much as Leta is justified in their actions, it doesn’t excuse what they’ve done and they know it. Yes, their role is mainly as a spy and blackmailing others but they have witnessed many, many deaths, been complicit in the deaths of many Muggles and Muggleborns, and have actively killed when they’ve had to. They’ve never wanted to and don’t enjoy it, but they know it doesn’t matter in the eyes of their victims or their victims’ loved ones. In their eyes, they’re just another Death Eater, another Pureblood, another monster. Their reasons don’t matter. And Leta has learned to live with this.

ÉTIENNETTE WILKES

My sweetest, softest, rose-tinted girl. She isn’t the serpent hiding underneath the flower, she is the flower. But that doesn’t mean she’s innocent. She compromises her morals until they become basically irrelevant because she chooses her friends over morality, over what is right. She surrounds herself with monsters, cares for monsters, and willingly works for the biggest monster of them all. Part of it is being inadvertently conditioned over the years by her friends to disregard her morals, but a lot of it is by choice.

MARY MACDONALD

Her Catholic upbringing had a big effect on how she views the world, regardless of whether or not she still believes in God but especially when she stops. It affected her disillusionment and subsequent distrust of Dumbledore, and it affected her own morality when it had been so absolute. Thou shalt not kill. Her faith and belief in God was one of the foundations of who she was, and that gets absolutely shattered after Mulciber nearly kills her. Through the haze of depression and emptiness that follows, she eventually comes to two startling conclusions: either God isn’t real and could have never saved her or God is real and didn’t bother to. She takes a sharp left turn into morally ambiguous territory, and as they say - the rest is history.

PANDORA LOVEGOOD

The fact that she is a Malfoy is so, so important to her character, y’all, like I’m not even fucking with you. It gives context to how she interacts with others, her relationship with blood purity and Death Eaters, the subsequent rejection of those things because she doesn’t have time for that and just why Pandora treats the world a particular way in reference to how she’s always been treated throughout her life.

ALECTO CARROW

Alecto has numerous ugly scars on her back inflicted upon her through dark magic by her father. Her back is honestly a mess of horrendous scar tissue and have never properly healed due to the nature of cursed wounds, and she has always been self-conscious of it. Her father made sure it was on a place that generally others wouldn’t notice. When she attends pureblood events and parties, she never wears backless dresses and is very particular when she has sex with others. They’re a permanent reminder of what she has to live up to, of her father’s expectations and punishments when she fails to. She hates him for it that she imagines killing him countless times and hopes to run away. She loves him enough that she continues to try and fail to be good enough for him.

GRISHA MCLAGGEN

Will I ever stop saying her relationship with Tom/Voldemort? Probably not. I mean, you can’t blame me when it’s kind of the center point of the fan film. He’s a crux component of her identity and the discovery of her heritage, and how she grew into herself during Hogwarts. Grisha holds herself responsible for not stopping him when she had the chance, when she had many chances to. For not seeing the red flags for what they truly are, for seeing them and turning away because she wanted to see him as the brilliant boy she fell in love with, as her best friend she was going to change the world with, as the hero who saved Hogwarts at the cost of a poor girl’s life and a sweet boy she knew. Grisha bought into the illusion and the person because she wanted to, because she couldn’t face the reality of who this boy she’s known all these years really was. Then she became an Auror as a result but it was already too late to save him from himself. And then she was too late to save her friends from him.

BELLATRIX LESTRANGE

Bella is a monster, plain and simple. She is a horrible, terrible human being and is a villain for a reason. I don’t see how you could ever forget this but don’t think I forgot this, because I definitely haven’t. She’s a powerful, deadly monster; delighting and an expert in killing people. But this doesn’t negate how important her relationship with her sisters is to her character and to me. To her, they are, or were, her soulmates; her flesh and blood, meant to be hers and meant to be by her side forever. She is not who she is without them. Her loyalty to them is fiercer, more absolute than her loyalty to her own parents - or so she thought. Andromeda’s betrayal entirely fractures her identity and how she saw herself and the world around her. She stops letting people in almost entirely, her distrust skyrockets, and she double downs on everything awful about herself while simultaneously becoming obsessive over those she cares about that she has left. 

ALICE LONGBOTTOM

I don’t believe I’ve ever stated this on the blog yet or have it mentioned on Alice’s profile yet, but Alice was a fucking magical genius. She was a poster child prodigy born into the limelight because of her Quidditch superstar dad and Sacred 28 mum, constantly compared to and pitted against her Squib twin sister and she hated it. But she also worked hard to live up to her own expectations, and in some ways the expectations of her parents and the public. She is brilliant and good, applying herself to anything and everything - partially so her sister doesn’t miss out on all the sorts of magic Hogwarts has to offer. I believe Dumbledore would’ve recruited her regardless of whether or not she was an Auror, that was only a bonus. Basically, out of all my muses, she’s the only one who would actually be a threat to Bellatrix and the Lestrange brothers.

MAFALDA PREWETT

Okay, I often joke about how awful Mafalda is; how she likes to show off, is an attention seeker and is hungry for validation, sarcastic and bitchy and rude, and has a tendency to be nosy and eavesdrop and gossip about others. But like, she’s a match for Hermione in terms of intellectual and academic prowess. And she isn’t afraid to work hard for it, to make up for the years where she was left in the dark by her parents in order to catch up to her peers and be better than them. Like she genuinely enjoys learning and is very, very gifted and studious. She’s a tad bit too arrogant, sure, but there’s a genuine reason for her arrogance.

CHARITY BURBAGE

Charity is still very materialistic. It’s not a surprise, honestly, for a girl raised by purebloods and swathed in wealth. She enjoys and savours expensive clothing, fine wine and food, lavish trips to beautiful cities. There’s a certain image she projects after rejecting her real name and using ‘Burbage’ instead, with long sweaters, and cups of tea, and dog-eared pages in worn copies of Hamlet. But yeah, she still keeps a small fortune of galleons around before she self-exiled herself, and the apartment she bought is in a far more expensive area of Muggle London. But at the same time, she was willing to give up her comforts and material wealth and luxuries for the sake of her independence and bettering herself away from the influence of her family. 

LILY EVANS

My Lily is, purposefully, not like Fanon!Lily, or at least I’m trying to consciously not make her like that; whether or not I achieve it is another story altogether. There’s a lot of pent up resentment, and she was very willing to break the rules that she often made others uphold. She wasn’t friends with the Marauders at all during most of Hogwarts, only starting to befriend them when she began dating James in her seventh year and absolutely abhorred the boy until she ended her friendship with Snape. She had her own group of girls she was very close with, including Mary Macdonald, her best friend, and had dated a few people before James, with one very serious relationship with a girl ending by Sixth year. She was very willing to seriously hurt Mulciber (and even kill him) when she heard what he did to Mary, and after Dumbledore said that Mulciber wouldn’t be expelled for his actions. 

KATIE BELL

She REALLY likes girls, that’s all. Okay, but seriously her friendship with the girls around her - Angelina, Alicia, Leanne, Hermione - is so important to her, and important to me too. It’s as intrinsic to her character as Quidditch is, as the terrifying moment when she got cursed by the opal necklace. Although they are a part of her realisation that she’s attracted to girls, she really loves them a lot and would do anything for them. 

DORCAS MEADOWES

She never wanted this life. Dorcas has been running away from this for so long, trying so hard to untangle herself from all of it, because this isn’t who she is, who she wants to be. She rejected magic, she rejected the Wizarding World, she rejected her place in the war. Being special, being different from everyone around her, fucking frightened her. She was content with the life she already had - being normal, as normal as a Jewish-Indian girl can be living in Wales with two dads. Her moral compass is the choke chain that holds her in place, that drove her to join the Order after much convincing from Alastor Moody, that had her agreeing to become a double agent within the Death Eaters’ ranks. There’s a lot of self-loathing and reluctance when it comes to her character and her involvement as a Double Agent.

[fruitbattery]

I saw the MOST amazing production (open dress rehearsal) of falsettos the other night!

It was in a tiny theatre. TINY, black box style, <50 seats. we were RIGHT IN FRONT. it was amazing.

-the set was literally: 6 chairs, 10 boxes, a hospital bed -4 jews started as a sock puppet show from behind the boxes (except for Trina) and then they all popped up as they said their names -(the cast was all so pretty and i am so gay) -their Jason was a college age woman and I believed her wholly, she was so good -at the end of 4 jews, they posed like they were taking a family photo and then marvin got up and started singing tight knit family -for love is blind, marvin and whizzer were in the background reading, marvin was on a chair and whizzer on the floor leaning into him. it was cute.  -the transitions between songs required additional music a lot but that was ok -thrill of first love was??? so good? -whizzer pulled a silly pose at “i was trained in karate” it was great -they yelled the 9/10 months bit and the won’t/don’t bit -the fight choreo happened as whizzer stealing marvin’s scarf and them fighting over it -they ended up on the floor after whizzer pulled marvin in with the scarf and sat on his lap??? which i think is actually better than on the couch but ya know. sightlines are important i guess -can i just reiterate how good jason was like she was SO GOOD -throughout marvin at the psychiatrist, whizzer and trina had super visible but subtle reactions like eye rolling -for “my father’s a homo,” and for a lot of the show, jason sang right at the audience -he jumped on the table it was so cute! -trina’s indicating to whizzer behind jason’s back was NOT SUBTLE AT ALL there was no way the kid didn’t notice that -when the “late for dinner late again” section started, a strip of unexpected disco lights came on!!! it was great -trina belted “and still the bastard divorced me!!!!” and it made my night -I’M BREAKING DOWN WAS SO GOOD -she used the space a lot it was great; she covered the whole stage -she came onstage with a bunch of bananas and i heard someone behind me say “oh no” -she did eat a piece of banana but earlier in the song, before “you ask me is it fun to cry over nothing” -she made eye contact with my friend at “help me!!!!” and she DIED -she crushed pieces of banana in her hands so she had to wipe them on her apron before picking up the phone to call mendel -mendel answered with “yes this is mendel weisenbachfeld” like in the revival! -the disco lights came on for the final section of “feel alright for the rest of your life” -marriage proposal was simple and cute -”this is how you do a marriage proposal” and then jason went “GO” and shoved them together omg. then he ran off -tkf reprise was simple -at this point i am in love with the actress playing trina because she KILLS trina’s song. wow. -march of the falsettos was very jewish! they were all sitting on boxes, with scarves like tallitot, and prayer books covering their faces. simple box switching choreography -trina is wonderful -in the chess game it was SUPER clear that whizzer was mocking marvin in the 2nd verse. -he got up at “more’s the pity” -marvin got his suitcase immediately, then whizzer walked off sadly. he turned around when he was almost out to sing his part of the argument. “whizzer’s supposed to make the dinner” etc -in making a home they put a mezuzah on the door!!!!! !!!!!! -when they sang “yes we love the bed” mendel slapped her ass and she giggled -at the end they each sat down to read and froze for the games i play -omg whizzer was so good!!! -he started the song smiling like he was trying to make light of his situation but got serious fast -he made eye contact with me and i DIED -during marvin hits trina, trina just looked so DONE and ANNOYED during the beginning of i never wanted to love you, mendel was holding her and touched her face where she’d been slapped, and she told him stop, and he stopped. that was nice. -jason was practically screaming during that song and it was so heartbreaking -father to son has everyone crying. i could hear it. at the end, it was only jason who got up, and it looked like he was gonna leave marvin there alone, but then he went for the hug and we started crying more

act 2!!! -ppl laughed a lot at the weird woodwind/chime wiggle thing that happens in the intro music -mendel only had once flashlight and made it look like he was telling a ghost story when he said “homosexuals” which was really funny -PRETTY BOYS ARE IN DEMAND -charlotte and cordelia!!!!! holy fuck they were perfect!  -for the whee! woo! part they were all sitting on blocks. it was trina on mendel’s lap, whizzer, marvin, jason, cordelia on charlotte’s lap -JASON HAD SUCH FUNKY DANCE MOVES FOR YEAR OF THE CHILD -the whole audience knew what the words were it was glorious. i know because they laughed -mendel gave the spiel about how his own bar mitzvah was bad to marvin and trina rather than to jason, like he was convincing them not to have jason do it -during the beginning of miracle of judaism, jason was pulling on baseball clothes over his clothes and packing a backpack to take to a game -at one point he held the bat between his legs like a giant dick and sang “girls with whom i always wake up” -the baseball game!!!! was so similar to the revival version!! staging wise -marvin was SO touchy with whizzer’s hair and trina was so annoyed lmao -the actor playing whizzer had so much hair but they did the bald spot anyway -jason’s actor played caroline instead of cordelia’s, which i guess makes more sense if it works -she got angrier when she said “you always do this” -trina’s workout gear involved a leotard and leg warmers. when she came on people whistled (I think they were her irl friends) -it looked like they used actual gefilte fish for the nouvelle bar mitzvah cuisine??? -whizzer was in tiny jean shorts to play tennis. so impractical honestly, all that chafing -instead of marvin collapsing and whizzer standing over him, they got really close to each other and almost kissed like 3 times. shit was cute. -i didn’t realize that in the original script jason wanders onstage during the last overlapping bit of a day in falsettoland and says “you guys are so white” but it was funny -when “i want the appelbaums” started, people laughed in recognition (i tell you boston is full of jews lmao. love it.) -mendel got up on a chair for his imitation of god, and stole the tablecloth to cover his head with -near the end of the song, mendel cleared a space for himself very dramatically, psyched himself up, and did the worst cartwheel i have ever seen. jason then did the same. -for what more can i say, they didn’t have a bed or anything resembling one, so marvin sat at the end of a row of 4 or 5 chairs and whizzer laid across them with his head in marvin’s lap -for the final “what more can i say” whizzer sat up and they gazed into each others’ eyes for a second -hoo boy here comes the pain train -charlotte and cordelia’s dynamic was a+ honestly. -tbh I know every word to this show and something bad is happening was still worrying and terrifying -in more raquetball, marvin was getting SUPER cocky. and then it all just went away when wizzer fell. heartbreaking. -in between something bad and holding to the ground, marvin helped whizzer over to dr charlotte and you could see him nonverbally insisting he was fine before collapsing onto her shoulder and allowing himself to be led away -trina’s performance in holding to the ground was phenomenal. so much emotion. marvelous and amazing. -i swear i heard sobs as the hospital bed came on -there was real chicken soup in cordelia’s tupperware!!! -jason set up the chess board fully after climbing onto the bed with whizzer, he then just packed it right back up again -mendel and trina in cancelling the bar mitzvah was just. lovely. and fucking sad too -unlikely lovers was SO TENDER i swear -when the lesbians showed up, marvin and whizzer were sitting there with their foreheads touching and marvin was almost in whizzer’s lap which was kind of an inversion??? idk it was great -just pure love -jason was so cute and innocent during another miracle. it was much needed. -then holy fuck -dr charlotte pulled marvin away for something bad reprise and she was crying. full on. she hit all the words and notes but shit. it got to me. -ok so you gotta die sometime is one of my favorite songs of all time. certainly my fave solo song to sing myself. -he nailed it. he was just so callous at the beginning morphing to fucking terrified at the end. it looked like if jason had come one second later he would’ve given up and died. -but there was a gap between it and the beginning of jason’s bar mitzvah still which was completely silent. pin drop silent. it was interesting -jason came in already in a suit -at “mendel get this thing in gear” the bed was rolled off and didn’t come back which must’ve been convenient -at “oh mummy” they actually kissed for a few seconds and trina looked,,, unamused -they all wore white kippot -at the end. oh god. -jason finished his torah and whizzer almost collapsed. mendel caught him. and jason just started sobbing. silently, but think harry-potter-after-sirius-fell-through-the-veil levels of despair. fuck it was sad. trina took him away. -the cast cleared the stage during the beginning of what would i do, but they left the “table” made of blocks that jason read torah on -marvin forgot the words so he substituted “once i was told that all men get what they deserve” for “god only knows too soon i’ll remember your faults” but it was ok -i swear the whole theatre started crying 2x as much when whizzer came out dressed like he had been -they circled each other unable to touch a few times. it killed me. -at the end, marvin put a rose that trina brought him on the table, now clearly a gravestone. then he cried into his family.  -jason was on stage after everyone had left. i knew about the chess piece but he also kissed his hand and touched the grave which is??? so jewish??? and so touching??? idk but it was terrible and horrible and ripped my heart out of its socket -after the final piano faded out you could hear how many people were sniffling.

in conclusion this was a monumental experience. we got to see backstage after because the music director, who invited us, is also the music director for our school’s musicals (fiddler this year!) i met the actress who played cordelia and she said she could tell i knew the show which probably meant i was unconsciously mouthing the words despite my best efforts not to.

ok thanks for reading this word vomit that my adhd detail oriented brain poured out.

[greengay]

lol you guys are acting as if this is a deep friendship and kat has been signing her instagram posts with "heil hitler" and that billie should have known!!!11!!

this is like. a celebrity friendship. they probably hang out maybe once every couple years and it isn't Immidiately Recognizable that kat is allegedly anti semitic

like, djsjdkd i'm a jewish person who is invested in social justice and i literally had no clue about these rumors, you think billie, a 45 year old man who didn't know how to end his livestreams is googling "YFIP" before he hangs out or collabs with someone?

like as someone who has actually experienced antisemitism, and isn't being performative with my moral outrage, it isn't immidiately noticeable. like, you can be friends with someone for YEARS and then they'll throw in a jew joke that comes out of left field.

AGAIN. Kat lives in LA and runs a makeup empire and her own tattoo shop and we all know billie is off doing a million things, do y'all really think they're talking about anything slightly controversial? no, they're probably talking about music, sobriety, tattoos, etc, the 1-2 times they hang out, like

i'm not excusing her and i don't think that billie is perfect, but you guys are crazy if you think normal people google everyone they collaborate with to see if they're problematic djsjkdkdsk

even IF billie knew (which. lmao) she "claims" that she didn't actually send the picture that said "burn in hell jewbag" and that someone took one of her stock photos she gave out for autographs and made her look bad (i don't believe that, but there ya go. but also. why would they talk about something from 2008 that wasn't well publicized), the equating the slaughter of animals to the holocaust is fucked up, but AGAIN. it was 1 post that billie may or may not have seen and could be written off in his mind as her just being REALLY into animal rights. like, uh, the shoah is literally one of the worst things to happen in human history and i don't blame people for not being fully able to connect people making comparisons of it to people being antisemetic.

but ANYWAYS that's implying that billie was at any point fully invested in googling kat von d's history to make sure she's never said anything bad, which is a ridiculous expectation. she is not outwardly a nazi, at a surface glance she seems like a nice lady, and she definitely isn't spitting racist rhetoric every time she opens her mouth, so how would he POSSIBLY know??

and lmao guys he isn't perfect either, like i said. u think i believe the bs he says at concerts abt how we all love each other whether we're liberal or conservative? must be easy to say that when you live in the Most Liberal Part of california!!!! i don't like how he makes molestation jokes even though he probably thinks it's okay because he's always the butt of the jokes. i don't like how he used the n-word in a song, even though he was "quoting a racist".

your favs aren't morally pure, YOU guys aren't morally pure, you talk about not wanting to buy her product so you don't seem like you're supporting antisemitism when all your clothes are made from child laborers in sweatshops overseas. ever shop at urban outfitters/free people/anthropologie/zara? they're like. VERY antisemetic, and that even shows through in some of their products, unlike kat's line. ever eat/drink a nestle product? they give free samples of formula to women in africa so they stop making breast milk and are forced to buy their product, and then hike up the price. ever shop at walmart? they've been known to steal people's passports from a shrimp processing plant in thailand and force them to work to get them back which can literally be considered human trafficking. not to mention how they treat their workers in the USA or the immigrants they hire and force to work 7 days a week or else they'll deport them.

the world is fucked up!!!! if u are gonna be disappointed in anyone who even ASSOCIATES with someone or something that's problematic u ain't gonna have a fun time!! u can't put billie on a pedestal and expect him to never associate with anything harmful ever!!!