#I keep harping on about it but it's so fascinating to me

[sluggishgm]

The bitches could never comprehend the pure gineminosaurus size of my reluctance to talk about my feelings. And neither can I

[borzoilover69]

See whats funny is i see people harping about how DirkJake is "bad" and it sucks because it's.. messy. Its not exactly healthy either. But that's what's so fun about it!! Seeing representation of relationships in a way that strikes true with how most relationships are kinda janked to begin with!! Give me not perfect relationship representation give me mess, I will enjoy it fullheartedly. Its so much more interesting to pick apart and unpack than normal healthy relationships! There is so many ways dirkjake can go and honestly it's fascinating!!

Also not to mention the "fucked up red string of fate" thing they have going for each other. That's so nuts. They're like soulmates, but it doesn't mean they're necessarily compatible, doesn't mean they're necessarily going to get along, just that they're basically stuck together like some horrid prank.

Not to mention the very fact that Jakes planet has the word soul, depicted as x or chi from platos timaeus LITERALLY CARVED INTO HIS PLANET.

I cannot express how absolutely NUTS it makes me. Hey what if we both had planets. And mine had a reference to you carved into it. What if even in trying to escape you when i was in peril i believed in you so much, i actualised a version of you i keep in my head to fight for me. What if our planets collided into each other. What if you had to watch that happen. Hey. Are you listening.

[m3nt4llyr4v3d]

One issue that always bothered me about Miraculous is that it tends to introduce deep, serious issues and/or traumas for characters, possibly explain how these actions affect their current lives, and then… never follow up with any options for them to get help

Despite my many criticisms for Derision, I would harp on it a lot less if they simply showed or even suggested that Marinette get help for these issues. The episode is just recognizing that there is an issue, identifying the cause, having one or two scenes in episodes after where Marinette is trying to stop these behaviors, then nothing else. It’s wild because this is something that’s supposed to color a large chunk of her actions for the past 5 seasons, which is a long time in and especially out of universe for her to have gone without any form of healing. It’s only really until season 6 that it’s said that energy is being put into healthier things, like keeping track of the number of her kisses with Adrien

It’s even more egregious because in season 6 she has supposedly backtracked on her development with her control issues and the way she deals with girls around Adrien in Sublimination. I don’t expect the characters themselves to ever outright say they’re getting counseling for their problems, but I feel like the show itself should at least present something as an option, right?

Hell, sometimes they’ll just introduce something and completely disregard it later, like Chat Noir nearly cataclysm-ing himself in Guilttrip. Yes, this type of behavior shows in his willingness to be the sacrifice in many fights, but it was never as direct as that singular moment. I remember watching that episode when it first came out and doing a double take and rewinding it because what the hell was that?? That scene stuck with me for a while (obviously because it was so jarring and for personal reasons) and it made me so baffled because no episode after acknowledged it whatsoever, or Chat’s self sacrificing tendencies! Not to mention Claw Noir getting himself cataclysmed for shits and giggles! Adrien has such a weird relationship with death that’s so fascinating yet so unacknowledged and hand-waved in the actual narrative.

I believe @miraculouslbcnreactions put it best in their criticisms against the writing before: you typically aren’t supposed to have the thought process of “these characters are in dangerous situations! where are their guardians?” or “wow this is a horrifying situation to be in! this character probably needs therapy!” because these are kids shows, and you’re supposed to have some suspension of belief. But Miraculous wishes to tackle these issues of deep seated trauma and PTSD and how trauma shapes characters, and yet has nothing to say about the healing process, or options to potentially get better, despite these issues effecting the characters so deeply. It’s just so strange because it still is a kids show, and yet there’s just no lesson to be learned here. No message about telling figures you trust your problems, no lesson about getting a support system, no moral about getting help.

There’s just nothing.

[fefairys]

"The way Vriska introduces herself to John says everything about her, and about their relationship, and really, her relationship with everyone. She forcefully interrupts a moment that is deeply important and emotional to him, thereby probably denying that opportunity from ever happening again, just so she can insert herself into his life and force him to pay attention to her. Now here she is again, being kind of rude (e.g. calling him stupid), but more than that, being vaguely obsequious overall, which is something about her I was harping on in the last book. Vriska cozies up to certain kinds of people, namely those she wants something from or feels will elevate her status by association. John's the perfect mark for the manipulative, ass-kissing games she plays. Since we're in the Vriska Zone now and forever, I'll just keep talking about her. It bears more examination of how her manipulation strategy seems to deftly blend ass-kissing and aggression. Successfully manipulative, sociopathically charismatic people tend to have this balance down to a science. The strategy seems to involve controlling the interplay between flattery, appealing to common interests, charming or flirtatious rhetoric, and little jabs, negs, or outright insults to keep the target off-balance. The target gets sort of hooked by the fascinating spectacle, intrigued, and strangely disarmed. Too much flattery results in suspicion, too much negativity is a turn-off (or taken to an extreme like Karkat, results in not being taken seriously at all). The barbs mixed in with the flattery are effective because they lead the target to think, "If this person really wants something from me, why would they insult me?" Of course, this is how pick-up artists operate, which isn't far off from Vriska's mindset when pursuing her goals—which, although more broad than romantic goals, are still mixed in with them, with the end result being part of the overall power play. Over the course of her tactics focused on John to make herself more relevant, when actual romantic designs start seeping into the fabric of her manipulation campaign, that's when it all starts to get...A Little Bit Weird.

We've already seen a lot of Vriska's tactics on display in Hivebent, with mixed results. By now she's had a lot of practice, and she's bringing all her skills to bear on the perfect rube for her schemes, this nerdy, gullible Egbert kid. The romantic angle that surfaces from this effort, as I just implied, is vaguely troubling. How else to describe it... ? Icky, maybe? Something is off about it, and we feel that more than John does, obviously because we know a lot more about her than he does. For Vriska, are the romantic desires real? Is she such a mess inside that she wouldn't be able to tell whether the feelings are genuine or not? It's more likely that it's all about the ego boost, the power trip involved with grooming this hapless fool into the thing she wants him to be, and hoodwinking him into feeling something for her. But for him, it's probably more sincere. His first awkward experience with romance, albeit one contrived by a manipulator. Too bad he has no idea that none of this even has anything to do with him. It's still just about Vriska's gamesmanship with Terezi, who is another person exhibiting many of the aforementioned qualities of a manipulator. Terezi just uses hers to target a different boy. Both are highly successful with their boywork, but they take very different approaches." -Andrew Hussie

[alatusprinz]

yan! genshin x darling with abandonment issues

characters : xiao , albedo , kaedehara kazuha x f! reader

warning : obsessive behavior, kidnapping, stockholm syndrome, the very stereotypical traits found in yandere lovers, mention of planned/considering murder, manipulation, threatening, etc. reader has abandonment issues, insecurities, and is wary/distrustful about love and romantic partners in general. < fem pronouns used - bride etc >

諸行無常 - 世のすべてのものは、移り変わり、また生まれては消滅する運命を繰り返し、永遠に変わらないものはないということ。

Shogyou mujou - Impermanence. A phrase that means everything in the world repeats its destiny to to be born and to disappear, that there is no existence in the world that remains without changing . 

[ prior scenario ]

“hey…” you called out to your captor, finally working up the courage to talk to him like you would to anyone else. when your voice broke the silence in the sullen room, his gaze was immediately directed at you. 

“what is it?” you gulped at his curt yet obvious reply, still trying to keep your voice from wavering when you continued onto a subject you knew could upset them or worse. you were displeased by how much you were trembling at the thought, even when there was not an ounce of wrath evident in his voice or face as of present.

in truth, it took you however long you imagine to even work out the confidence to demand such inquiry, it could’ve been days, weeks or even more. you couldn’t have known exactly how long- after all, it’s been a paradox in time since the cursed moment you stepped foot into his lair. you reckon it’s been quite a few months in captivity if not a year already. 

“what do you really want from me, keeping me here?” you saw him open his mouth to respond, but you immediately continued without giving him or yourself time. you feared you would lose your will to speak otherwise, despite having repeated the same question in your mind millions of times. 

“so now you have me in this cramped room at all times within your sight. i barely move or talk… i’m almost kept like… a doll here.” you kept your eyes on him for any chances of extreme anger or outburst while resuming. 

“you see, people lose interest. as time passes, your former shiny doll will always lose its gleam and a new doll will catch your eye. when someone learns a song they adore on zither or harp it won’t matter, the song feels less special once you’ve mastered the flow and rhythm so it belongs to you completely- when the song doesn’t have anything new to offer anymore. you could buy anything and make it your possession, but it will always bore you in the end. it’s a matter of time.” his face remained as blank as ever, still listening carefully to your uncharacteristically melancholic statement today. 

“love that comes from mere fascination or ownership… won’t last.” 

so let me go while you still cherish me. before you decide to abandon me like a used toy. you were ashamed to admit your original motivation of asking him to let you go won’t leave your mouth. 

you would rather bite your tongue and die this very instant than admit to him why you were asking this question after all this time. you tried and tried to repress your feelings, the growing feeling inside your chest that is slowly turning into fondness and familiarity instead of sheer disgust and loathe as you should be feeling. it doesn’t make sense- he robbed you of your everything. everything you learned to be a part of your mundane life, every routine and passion you’ve had (you barely even remember what life was before, but you imagine you could’ve had… those things that made you human.) disappeared like dandelion pappus in the wind. you try, you look at his godforsaken actions he veil and glorify as an act of love, you scoff and ignore and fight with all your will not to bend into his desires as easily. but the crawling, sinking realization you were aware from a while ago ate away at what little left from your pride each moment past. 

you couldn’t pretend like everything was normal anymore, not when every inch of your body, every thought surrounding your brain was his love. you knew your true feelings for your captor now. but you couldn’t possibly unravel the truth he oh-so desperately wants- needs to hear. in truth, you felt yourself fall deeper for his wicked charm every day. it made you physically sick but the way he loved you, the way he touched you and caressed your soul, his suffocating care for you felt familiar now, you craved him, you yearned for his impudence in all its glory, the gut wrenchingly familiar scent of his when you awoke from nightmares. you searched for him, you yearned his presence when he wasn’t around and you were positive he knew it. after all, he was the one who trained your body and soul to his perfection- carved your being, to the point you seemed to be the one chasing him at this point in your mind, the only space you have left to you that's private.

it scared you to bits whenever you thought of revealing your feelings. what if he only liked the thrill of your struggles? what if he only wanted the chase? what if he grew tired of you soon now that you’re all boring and “his”? 

this is how your thoughts finally manifested itself into a question, to test the waters. 

he finally responded. 

and it wasn’t at all what you had expected. 

xiao ( alatus) .

“how absurd.” xiao really could not understand the worries of you mortals. he could swear to the seven archons that he tried, he had asked around, he read words on papers you call “books” that seemingly guide you when you’re lost, (worthless if you ask him, since it didn’t guide him when he needed it the most with you),  he’s spent time observing countless mortals just so he could get a grip on how your restless mind works.

it’s like you seem to confuse him more and more as time passes by, and that was quite the opposite of what he desired. 

“what makes you believe you are as worthless as physical objects?” xiao found no reason in mincing his words, your comparison made him offended, if anything. how could you possibly imagine thinking of yourself as the same value of an inanimate object, or even a melody that’s shared between hundreds or thousands at the same time? the idea of you being shared between countless mortals and being another’s “property” left not only a bitter taste in his mouth, but a dangerous, lingering urge to choose destruction.

the general yaksha was no fool to his vow, he was never to harm or terminate mortals, let alone liyue inhabitants. the lord of geo and his contract would not allow. however, a small voice at the back of his voice whispered- he was a guardian yaksha. he was known, a living legend amongst the nationals, surely nobody would dare stand against an Adepti’s desire. after all, mortals were weak and easily manipulated. he could make sure anyone stay away within a minute of a conversation or a… threatening action. and as much as he does not wish to sever his vows to the lord of geo, he certainly held the nonpacifict solution should the circumstances demand. 

but... keeping you here, away from those who would bring you harm protects both you, his angel and his vow to avoid harming mortals, don't they? it was the perfect solution.

he thought he had made it clear by now- that he adored you more than anything, that never once in his painfully long existence he had laid his eyes on anything, anyone more sublime than you. and your benevolence gave him the bliss of peace he desperately needed, he basked in your glory, your warmth on the iciest nights he was cursed to spend in solitude.

you saved him- you were xiao’s everything. if you were not to remain his oasis, what more could his sorry existence serve for? for what purpose would the vigilant yaksha continue his never-ending agony for, if not for your heavenly smile? he had never required, or wanted words of gratitude before, he upheld his vows to perfection, well aware that he was an entity destined to live in the shadows, just so the light could shine brighter. however, neither of you knew that it would lead to… this, the one night that you recognized him as the vigilant yaksha where you coincidentally entwined your red strings of fate on Mt. Hulao. (god knows how or why you had wandered into the space meant for the adepti, you truly had no memory of the life before him at this moment, no matter how you tried to reminisce).

you were all Alatus had, all he has ever wanted. his hands were stained crimson red for eternity, but you, he would bring celestia to ruin, defy every archon’s wrath, shield you in his arms and face the eye of the storm if that’s what you desired. to keep your hands clean, and your soul stainless for he was already tarnished beyond repair. the least he could do was protect you, his one and only, from the dirtiest parts of the world.

one whisper from your tender lips, and he would be gone, swift as the wind for his newest mission, mind filled with your loving smile. 

“i’ve gave you my word, have i not?” xiao continued, hoping for your understanding behind his stone-cold expression you couldn’t have unraveled. 

“...” you remained silent, to his displeasure, he was forced to continue. you and your mortal perplexity. 

“i’ve sworn to protect you. an oath is an oath, (name). i will remain by your side. vows are to be upheld in perpetuity.” xiao’s monotone voice sounded as still as ever despite his rather melancholic words. 

you, on the other hand, weren’t fully convinced. rather, you didn’t allow yourself to be soothed of your worries precisely because of his nonchalant behavior. there was no way he’d stay… this way for eternity. the perpetuity he speaks of will somehow find its end, your mind convinced.

after all… he offered you his protection, his company and his presence. not… not love. he had never once mentioned the word ‘love’ in your presence, or perhaps ever in his couple millenia of existence had he ever even let the heavy word drop from his lips. and you both knew it was perhaps for a good reason. 

to both of your surprise, he finally learns of your worries when you kept your silence with a frown.  

with a subtle sigh, Alatus approached you carefully as he always did, as if not to scare you away. (as if you could outrun the yaksha, as if your mind would even let you at this point.). he sat down next to you on your cold bed, then reached out to place his trembling hand on yours.

you might not know, but that’s the only act of intimacy he’s aware of to you humans. you couldn’t help but stare at his gloved hands on yours, the leather-like material sinking on your skin and leaving a heavy sensation with absolutely no trace of warmth. in fact, you had never felt much heat from his body before if your memory serves. 

except for the warmth you felt right now, listening to his careful words meant to soothe your concerns. it was almost enough to make you forget the absence of sunlight, the last time you had a deep breath of the fresh morning dew from liyue harbor, the sounds of the city locals chatting away in peace. almost enough to make you forget why you were here to begin with. 

“... if my promise isn’t enough… tell me what to do.” you couldn’t mask your surprise when you heard his words. his hand finally relaxed, yet still cold as ever. 

“ephemeral circumstances. perpetual agony. that’s all i have ever known.” xiao couldn’t believe how uncharacteristically chatty you forced him to be. but if his mundane words could soothe your bitter expression, there was nothing he was unwilling to do. 

“諸行無常. - all worldly existences are impermanent.” 

“...but my oath is eternal. i will spend a millenia… an immortal lifetime proving it to you.” 

“just speak my name. i will keep you…” he wanted to say happy, he wanted to promise you a joyful life. he wanted to say he would love you... but he was a cursed being, doomed with the vexation of the millions that were slain by his bloodied hands. 

“i will keep you safe.” he retracted his arm after his final promise to you, and disappeared without a trace. suddenly, the sullen room looked even darker than you remembered. as if the darkness was all you’ve ever known. 

and yet again, the word you desired- no promise of ‘love’ was mentioned. 

albedo ( kreideprinz ) .

“so it makes you insecure.” you flinched at his naturally curt reply, cutting through where it hurts the most. it was such a familiar answer from albedo, analyzing even verbal communication with utmost composure and sharp perception. his teal eyes appeared to be shining in the dimly lit room, ice-cold stare almost pinning you down like on a leash. 

“you’re struggling with feelings of insecurity and it’s manifesting itself into an apprehensive behavior because you feel like i’d get tired of you once the halo effect wears off.” he continued, all while sitting perfectly still, his posture and gaze remaining as absolute and subtly confident as ever. he had almost never been incorrect about his analysis on you, it’s almost eerie. anything he put his mind to and observed, experimented, hypothesized and concluded, it was more or less on point. and this time too, he didn’t fail to notice your ulterior hidden worries. 

the worst part? you were positive he was already well aware of your true feelings behind your distant exterior. after all, he had never been fooled by your acting, never once. he knew you too well to fall for it, and it made you wonder just how long he had observed you before your captivity. 

“it seems accurate and human of you to have such concerns. after all, the vast population of mankind seems to have a taste for unfaithfulness. enough to make others spend the rest of their existence cowering in fear of betrayal.” your eyebrows furrowed at his unwelcome analysis on your mindset, reading your deepest fears like an open book on his worn out wooden alchemy table. 

“but may i remind you, i am not deeply associated with the majority of humanity to begin with, (name). i’d appreciate if you didn’t see me in the same light as the rest.” his stable voice always tricked your sorry mind into believing the atmosphere was normal and calm. but unfortunately, ticking off the kreideprinz was one of the things you noted to never do again. you could thank your gods that he doesn’t seem too irritated from what you could see. 

“humans are an enigma. physical objects and intellectual creations may have its worth hidden in correlation to who possesses them. however, i do believe i don’t… own you.”

the room was immediately silent after his last statement, all you could hear was your heart thumping loudly in your ear, head feeling heavier on your shoulders each second that passed by. he thinks he doesn’t own you? that was the last phrase you thought you would hear from him. 

“of course i’d like to own your heart, that’s what lovers are.” what we are - both of you knew that was his true intention behind his somewhat vague wording. “is that what you wish to hear from me, dear? that i love you.” his monotone declaration of “love” sent a wave of warmth, and cowering fear to the pit of your stomach. for one, it certainly was what you desperately craved to hear from the chalk prince. you were so, so close to giving into his sweet temptation, his reserved nature, his teal eyes that seem to only look at you, and his cold, yet addictive touch of hands, caressing you like you were the only existence that he cared about.

yet, his cold tone when he confessed the words of love weighed heavy at the back of your mind, how monotone, and… void he sounded. do people usually sound so laid back when speaking such words? you couldn’t know, you couldn’t remember. but you had a feeling it wasn’t quite the case, that he sounded too empty, his promise sounded heavy, yet desolate at the same time. that your heart felt too burdened from his love, not blissful. but if that were the case, albedo was prepared to mold your tastes until you preferred his weighty love, bitter and cold on your tongue. he'd make sure to train you until all you ever crave is his taste.

“... i love you as much as an artificial being could mimic the humane emotion of love, dearest.” he concluded the conversation coolly and with dignity like he always did, he always got the last word. after all, what he wants goes. 

if you happen to disobey… well, let’s just say he was good at getting what he wanted. should he use honey-sweet words, alluring you in, threats, slight or considerable amount of pain and punishment, or make you face a situated scenario that would inevitably push you towards him…

in the end, albedo would have you. - that’s what he had concluded. after all, once again - what he wants, goes. 

kaedehara kazuha .

the menacing, yet melodic giggle he responded with sharpened your senses. you never knew what to expect from him, he could easily shatter your soul and courage with one look of his eyes if that was what his mockingly poetic love demanded of him. 

“love, you never cease to amaze me.” as expected of the bride, the distinguished lady of the great kaedehara clan he intended to continue. every step you take, every sway of your hair in the end, the rounin felt himself fall deeper for your charm, his one and only perfect love. you were absolutely perfect, you had to be. (you were his, after all.)

he approached you with an intimidatingly slow pace, placed his hand on the top of your head with seemingly great delicacy. the weight of his hand on your head seemed like it was pushing you down, further until you were at his feet- at his complete and eternal mercy. in one way, it was the perfect place for you, his docile loving darling. it should come natural for lovers to please and make one another happy. it should come as easy as breathing to both you and him, after all, he himself was at your feet. why shouldn’t you share the same sentiment, the same desire? he would lay down his life, lay down his everything and more. that’s what love is, existing in this cruel world in the name of your lover. 

at least according to what he carved in your mind which you’ve soon learned to accept. 

“have i ever once, made you feel unloved or unworthy?...” his hand travelled down, slowly and gently caressing the back of your head, the side of your neck, and lingered at the same spot while feeling your beating heart. (the heart that beats for him - the sinister thought brought a pleased smile to his lips. ) the silent confidence in his statement sent shivers down your spine. of course he was aware, he had never once denied you of your needs, everything except your freedom was in the palm of your hands. with one whisper of your voice, kazuha would carve out his heart, display it on a platter. he would sacrifice his last breath to caress your lips one last time, excarnate his own being and wrap his warm skin around your shivering body if you were cold. going to extreme length to keep you, his angel dove by his side, is an absolute necessity for him. 

and the ugly truth was, he expected the exact same from you. 

“have i ever left you unsatisfied?” he continued, placing his hands around your neck, not squeezing, but with just enough force of grip for your entire body to tense up in fight-or-flight instinct. too bad neither was an option. 

“like i said, you might get bored-” to your surprise, your speech was interrupted. 

“boredom is not something associated with true love, my dearest. i can promise you that.” his stable and calm voice never once wavered, and said to you with utmost certainty, almost to the point you allowed yourself to believe the honey-sweet temptation of love he presented you with. 

“and if my verbal promise does not suffice…” finally, he wrapped his arms around you, and buried his face into your neck. with a sigh of happiness leaving his lips, he let out a low giggle near your ear. 

“i’ll prove it until the rest of my life, until you believe in my love.”

until you believe me - he whispered, placing a sickeningly tender kiss on your neck. the sensation of his alluring kiss lingered on your shivering skin, your mind left blank and tempted. after all, kazuha’ forte was words. he could spin you around like a marionette, should he want. 

and that’s what he intended to do. keep, worship and adore his beloved doll, lover for all eternity. 

.

[thegratefulsouth]

I really want to just talk about what is best for Carol and Daryl.

@itsmymeaningoflife got me thinking about this a lot with their perfect post a little while back. I love my job, but I get a lot of thinking time.

Sometimes I see people say they just want Caryl to stay friends. And I think, it doesn't matter what you want. The most important thing in all of this, is what do Carol and Daryl want? What do they need? What's best for them?

It's pretty obvious that Caryl need each other. They are miserable without each other. But how is their need for something beyond friendship measured?

First, individually:

1. Carol does not want to be alone. This is echoed numerous times throughout the series. In Indifference she tells Rick that she stayed with Ed because she didn't want to be alone. She enters two unfulfilling relationships, and then she sits with Daryl, in friendship, in Bonds, and tells him that he doesn't have to be alone. Because to her, being alone is unacceptable. She loves him and she wants him to be happy. And, as many Carylers have pointed out, they both do not think they are good enough for, or could offer, the other, what they need. This is why ending the series with Carol alone is kinda unfulfilling. Where is her fulfullment. Where is her romance novel? Where's her happy ending? He's in France.

2. Daryl doesn't want to be alone either. He needs freedom, he needs to not be manipulated, and he needs connection on his own terms. He has sought connection in various ways throughout the series. He joins the group in the farmhouse after Carol speaks to him. He returns to the prison with Merle. But interestingly, he can't make a commitment to Leah, not until after Carol tells him she won't be able to visit anymore (as many Carylers pointed out). Daryl needs physical intimacy as well, he craves it, and we know it's been a journey for him to get there. And the most loving and positive, unconditional and consistent physical intimacy he has received throughout the show, has been from Carol.

So to tie in the romantic element, as a rewatch Caryler (made it all the way to S6 before picking up the vibe and rewatching), I think it's undeniably in the material already. I've studied it. It's fascinating. Lots of subtle.

For Daryl (for me), it's Daryl checking Carol out in What Lies Ahead.

Didn't even know it existed until I stumbled onto Tumblr. Thanks Carylers 🙏. Because apparently he's also revving for a little attention? And Carol's kind of oblivious to it.

This man is just honestly staring at her all the damn time, but there is nothing else but pure attraction going on with this early neck crane. It's undeniable. Don't deny reality.

For Carol (again, for me), it's much more subtle, if we say she's just joking and teasing. On the bus. When she says she liked him first. Whenever she calls him pookie. When she flutters her eyelashes at him.

No, it's this position that I keep harping on about, that she adopts in his cell, that I am telling you is undeniable attraction. The body language that says "i am a delicate yet formidable force, come get me," or whatever, to that effect. She's not joking anymore. She just lost him and he came back. They are having a very serious conversation here. But maybe she's not even aware she's doing it? I think she knows she's doing it. This is serious, undeniable flirtation. Immediately following Daryl's return to the prison. Right after he left and devastated her. And Daryl's kind of oblivious to it.

So the attraction was there from the beginning, and is then recalled and echoed into the later seasons in so many stunning moments. But their timing sucked for the entire duration of the show. Daryl wasn't ready. Rick banished Carol. Lizzie had to look at the flowers. Daryl blamed himself for Beth, Glenn, Rick. Carol had to deal with Alpha.

Caryl are all unsaid things. Gestures, body language, hesitation, tone of voice, longing looks, inside jokes. And these two scenes ^^ (and Daryl's constant staring) in particular, just cannot a platonic coupling make.

The point of all of this rambling was, what do Carol and Daryl want?

1. They need to know the other is okay.

2. They need to be with each other, they can only manage a certain amount of time apart. They do better together.

3. Carol wants a romantic relationship that is real, not a fairytale. She wants to wake up in the arms of the man she loves.

4. Daryl wants to continue to stare longingly at Carol until the end of time.

So I think we can surmise that a normal, happy ending, with them waking up together, is what is best for these two, though unlikely something they have even allowed themselves to shape entirely in their minds, as something that they not only want, but need. Being held, unrestrained staring, knowing each other is safe, being together. They deserve that.

[justwriting]

THK Episode 2 Rambling Thoughts

Still obsessed with this show. All four boys have firmly established their characters, which continues to fascinate me.

Some stuffs that strike me as I watched the episode for the 4th time 😂….

1) Bison and Fadel’s opening scene - Bison is suffering from burnout while Fadel is exhausted (with everything).

Bison being more careless with the job? - not only it is a sign he is getting distracted by Kant but also signalling to Fadel he no longer cares about what could happen if they get caught (and I’m sure this will bite them back in the future). We already see glimpses of it - the police are suspicious of them, which means they have already been making mistakes.

Fadel’s world (at present) consists of his brother, his one reprieved as a cook and assassin. He seems depressed and apathetic to everything else. So, when Bison calling him out saying he has “no heart” - it’s a reflection of Fadel’s emotional state. Luckily we have Style starting to shake his world.

2) Kant and Bison tug and war continues to be intriguing

I have no doubt they are attracted to each other. However, Bison despite his naivety (in some ways) is smart enough to be wary of Kant’s motive. You don’t get to be an assassin (plus having an older brother that keeps harping you to be careful) and not be somehow paranoid. So, while he allows Kant to court him (if you will), Bison still keeps Kant in arm’s length.

It’s fascinating to see Kant’s suave mask breakthrough time and time again each time he is denied by Bison. Must be a hit on his ego. And oh, what a nice surprised to see him being calculated - hiring Tawan, knowingly turning late to his date with Bison and then acting all possessive of Bison.

But it was only after Kant did the dance number with Bison that the latter thawed a little bit - giving him those sweet pecks on Kant’s cheek and lips (when previously he denied all attempts by Kant).

Speaking of which, the dance routine is cute and cheesy but has several hidden contexts - our boys matching each other moves? - tells me they are quite equal in their power balance here (even if at present Kant has the upper end because Bison doesn’t know the former is aware of his other occupation). And those lyrics!!! - it reflects the Bison state of mind - he doesn’t fully trust Kant (yet).

Either way, the sneak peak we have from ep 3 tells me the tug/war power balance will continue to occur and I’m looking forward to it

3) Style and Bison conversation in the burger joint is also interesting to me.

Style immediately clocking that Bison is Kant’s type. Bison giving his blessing for Style to pursue Fadel (and in fact wants Style to fall in love with Fadel, if possible) tells me Bison does care for his brother deeply. Similarly, Bison’s admission to Kant he allowed Style to pursue his brother because he wants Fadel to live a little (and the aim of Fadel being distracted was just a bonus).

It’s also the point where Style realised how to get under Fadel’s shield of armour. Bison hinting on Fadel’s nature gave Style the ability to know what he needed to do beyond just annoying Fadel to submission.

And since Style (out of all four of them) who actully has zero idea whatsoever of the situation - his actions towards Fadel is his genuine attempt to help Kant (what a good bestie 😂).

4) Which brings me to Style and Fadel relationship. Yes, Style is boisterous and shameless but he is also sharp and likeable, pretty much by everyone except for Fadel (soon to change!)

That’s why the sauna and locker scenes were great to watch. He realises Fadel despite his taciturn nature is attracted to him. Prior to the Bison/Style conversation, Style’s method of flirting with Fadel was more relentless badgering mixed with some cheeky revenge (he probably wasn’t thinking much of seducing the man, beyond just wanting to distract Fadel from noticing Bison/Kant interaction).

But soon after that, he shifted gear and lean on seducing Fadel with his look and body more (good on him).

And the ending scene of Fadel being angrily upset with himself cause he can’t help but be attracted to Style? - oh yes, that really reflects the turmoil in his mind.

Can’t wait to see how this unfolds in episode 3 😆

- also, I am intrigued by Bison decision to draw his brother’s daily activities rather than writing it down. It kinda tells me he is artistic and likely detailed orientated. The latter important for his job as an assassin while the former is what he really wants to pursue in his life.

[tonydaddingham]

LWA: To expand on @robinwithay's point some more, I am thinking again about Crowley's equivalent to Aziraphale's stubbornness when it comes to rejecting Heaven. Crowley just will. not. learn. that actions have consequences, and that the responsibility lies with the agent, not some nebulous figure out there somewhere. What's striking, in fact, is that "actions have. consequences" is the closest thing the GO universe has to divine providence in action: when Crowley does something, it comes back to bite his occult arse, without fail, every single time. Shut down the cell phone network? Great, can't call Aziraphale. Make yourself look good to Hell? By golly, Hell is going to give you all the sweet assignments. (From their POV, anyway.) Turn a freeway into a demonic sigil? Whoops, it's on fire when you need to cross it, and also a lot of people are dead. Moreover, not only does the universe keep pointing this out to Crowley, but so do the other characters. In S1e1 alone, Hastur, Aziraphale, and SATAN FOR CRYING OUT LOUD all call him out on the whiny "why me?!" business, and Hell does it again in "The Resurrectionists." ("Off my head on laudanum. Not responsible for my actions!" HELL: Oh honey, no.) Arguably, "why me?" is the /one/ question to which Crowley gets a definitive answer, and he consistently refuses to listen to or learn anything from it.

Gaiman's very deliberate decision to prolong and inflate this aspect of Crowley's character is fascinating, because the Nuremberg Defense moment in the novel is there to put an /end/ to it. I keep harping on the Nuremberg Defense issue because in 1990, that was /topical/, not historical: at the time of publication, the most recent high-profile example of someone Nuremberg Defensing himself out of Nazi-era war crimes was Kurt Waldheim /in 1986/. Pratchett's and Gaiman's point in the novel is that Crowley's--and, more so than in the series, Aziraphale's--refusal to take responsibility for what they've done as Hell's and Heaven's agents leads inexorably to them thinking like, you guessed it, Nazi-era war criminals. But as of the end of S2, Crowley has still not come around to the moral epiphany about this that in the novel, Aziraphale has /first./ Instead, Gaiman's substitute for the Nuremberg Defense, the child murder subplot in S1, is averted in such a way that Crowley doesn't learn anything from it.

Further to the point that @robinwithay and others who responded made, you know who did learn something from the child murder subplot? Aziraphale. I said in an earlier ask that in S1, Aziraphale's own failure in the subplot is that he winds up deferring to Crowley's judgment, despite his own clear discomfort, because he cannot turn to Heaven for moral authority. "You can't kill kids" is not represented as a divine or infernal universal mandate--it's a /human/ mandate that transcends both. (That's entirely in keeping with the point, made in both the book and the series, that humans are capable of both far greater good than angels and far greater evil than demons.) In S2, Aziraphale does what he /should have done/ in S1, and says "no" to Crowley's proposal that Gabriel just be abandoned somewhere. I think people sometimes forget that Crowley, for all that he asks questions and nudges Aziraphale along out of his allegiance to the Heavenly party line, is not the series' moral arbiter. Aziraphale knows that Gabriel is facing "something terrible" and is not sure whether or not he's still "awful," but he does what S2 itself shows by the end to be the right thing. Doing the right thing sometimes means telling Crowley "no" and sticking to that no, just as, in S1, the moment Aziraphale hits on the right question to ask at the airfield, he moves /away/ from Crowley to stand with Adam.

good afternoon LWA!!!💕

okay so i feel some frank warning is due for anyone else reading my reply, especially if you're new around these here parts: what follows beneath the cut is going to be crowley-critical. it's not meant in bad faith, but recognising character shortcomings is important for all characters involved. there is (quite rightly) a lot of critique in relation to aziraphale in the fandom, and this is not in ignorance or denial of that - there are certainly points where aziraphale's actions throughout both seasons are called out, and i agree with a number of them - but a) that's not what im talking about here, that's a different post, and b) similar analysis of crowley is (as far as ive seen personally in the months ive been active) not as common - hence the post. if that's not your bag, fair enough, but take heed!!!✨

can't believe a fandom-specific cw for this is necessary but. here we are

(because i get asked this a fair amount - AWCW: Angel Who Crowley Was) (and just now recognising the grammatical error in this, ah well we move)

the part of crowley's character that does not accept consequences, and seemingly refuses to learn from them, is one of the most intriguing for me. as well as all of the instances that you've listed, this is something that we see as being so inherent to him that it even predates the fall; it's not a trait that is specific to crowley-as-a-demon, but to crowley-as-crowley. for all of the understandable reasons that AWCW felt he should ask questions, should challenge why his hard work and creativity was going to be put to waste as if it were nothing, he outright dismissed aziraphale's frankly prophetic advice that directly delivering criticism to the almighty, even if meant with the best of intentions, might spell for trouble... might even spell for AWCW's own personal ruin.

slightly unrelated, but another note: the mindset of, "if i were in charge", however much it might have been meant offhandedly or innocently, even connotes an incredible amount of hubris that, whilst not wholly condemnable in itself, gives an interesting insight into how crowley views himself from before the fall and going into present day.

AWCW's questions may come from a place of innocence and collaboration, and may speak to how much trust he placed in god/heaven to hear his questions with patience and understanding, but it still remains highly likely that he dismisses aziraphale's warning. and the reason he ignores it, most likely, is because it is not what he wants to hear, nor does it (in his eyes) benefit him to exercise caution. one could go a step further and suggest that this indicates a fatal "crowley knows best" mentality, which the rest of the two seasons doesn't exactly negate. and look - that's fine, ignoring advice is hardly an indictable offence, but if what you're doing goes to shit? that is on you.

shifting into speculation-mode in the absence of any confirmed account of the fall itself, we can presume that AWCW's questions fall on deaf/reticent/dismissive ears, and that will just as likely have left AWCW with a sense of frustration and resentment. i continue to be a really hopeful advocate of AWCW having had a lucifer-parallel narrative; that after what was essentially a dismissal, he may have precipitated (at least) the inception of the fall by way of knowingly or unknowingly planting the seeds of rebellion amongst the eventual-fallen... e.g. "they're not treating us fairly, all of our effort will be for nothing, all in service and deference to 'human beings', i tried to speak to god about it but they won't even hear me out."

i don't think he will have led the rebellion, that doesn't quite seem appropriate to his character, but certainly that he may have sparked the initial machinations, and then - by furfur's account - participated in the war. this, again, would fall in line with crowley's ongoing tumultuous relationship with consequences-borne-from-his-actions.

crowley's unreliable narratorship of his own fall is, by definition, untrustworthy, and as such it's not a given that he was unimpeachable in any participation of it. "i didn't mean to fall" would definitely suggest that it was not his intention, but if we return to the Dead Whale Theory, this is a dead whale that crowley has failed to fully accept, or learn from. he seems - when we consider how he inhabits the role of god (as he sees that role to be, anyway) in how he treats his plants in s1 and the goats in s2 - to be very much of the opinion that he is entirely innocent of any wrongdoing.

and in some respect, he's not wrong - asking questions is not a bad thing, it's a very good thing, and his willingness to do so is one of crowley's greatest assets - but his refusal to heed advice in favour of his own agenda, refusal to accept the answers given even (especially?) when he doesn't like them, to have potentially sparked dissent that led to a war (which he fought in), and his lack of accountability for the results, is where he falls down. im not going to go so far as to call it narcissistic behaviour, that feels a bit extreme, but there are... similarities. he doesn't learn from the whole fiasco in any manner that would indicate self-reflection, and instead seems to have walked away from the fall with his clear-cut conclusion that heaven was wrong, and are in fact The Bad Guys.

certainly, GO proposes that heaven isn't the traditional definition of truth, light, and good that aziraphale hopes that it is intrinsically... but crowley still hasn't reached the point of understanding the rest of what the narrative is saying.

heaven and hell are not always good and bad respectively, but they are not always bad and good respectively either. it's not a simple, 'we're turning this on its head' concept. it is altogether a veeeery grey system that simply exists, and it exists in the way that it always has done since the fall (possibly even before, in heaven's case). it is instead your choice whether or not to be part of that system, if you do not think it is right. if you continue be a part of that system, even if there are stakes involved that would make it difficult or compelling for you to remain and act within that system, you should at least recognise the consequences of your actions, accepting your part in it. this goes for all angels and demons, not just aziraphale and crowley. 'just following orders' may be understandable in some circumstances (e.g. threat to life of yourself or others), but does that mean that you are absolved of all responsibility?

we are, collectively, quick to point out that aziraphale has not fully learnt this, but it's clear that crowley has not either. it also suggests by extension that aziraphale is not always wrong, just as crowley is not always right. where actions-and-consequences are concerned, i'd tentatively wager that aziraphale at least demonstrates a bit more understanding of this than crowley does. aziraphale has been shown to recognise when he is wrong, accept it, and make efforts to correct himself or remedy his erroneous actions moving forward. aziraphale hides the antichrist's location from crowley and holds out hope for a higher power to see reason/do the right thing, but when aziraphale gets the confirmation that heaven isn't going to do the right thing by stopping the apocalypse, the first thing he does is call crowley to tell him about adam. you also then have, as you said, aziraphale physically and figuratively moving to stand with humanity; good and bad are just names for sides, and 'human incarnate' equally embraces both concepts (in their truest meaning) and yet similarly rises above both. this is the side to back; 'our side', to aziraphale, doesn't mean just him and crowley, but humanity too.

alternatively (really grinding at the fall thing here, sorry), even if AWCW did not willfully participate in any goings-on of the rebellion, and the fact that he fell was an incident in which he was blamelessly implicated/scapegoated... well, even then, that does not give him a free-pass for him to continuously believe that he is innocent in all matters that follow. sure, he may have been blameless in the fall, but does that mean he's therefore beyond reproach or above accountability for... everything he does/says that occurs afterwards?

setting up the perfect environment for armageddon? tempting aziraphale to kill the antichrist? giving a group of humans live firearms in order to make a point? abandoning aziraphale and retracting 'our side' when aziraphale asked him for help with hiding gabriel? withholding information from aziraphale that directly concerns him and his safety? i said it in a separate post (mainly because it would have made this one a really ungodly length), but my point remains the same; regardless of his part or not-part in the fall, crowley's character does not develop in this arena, despite incredibly formative experiences that might in fact impart an important lesson upon him*.

*and that lesson - again! - is not that he shouldn't ask questions, but instead that his actions may prove to have consequences that he does not like or want, but must accept anyway, taking accountability for his part in them.

not changing does not mean that he is perfect from (before) the beginning, but instead suggests that he is very comfortable being the same person that he's always been... and in some ways, it's commendable to remain true to oneself, but it's equally not conducive to growth... and crowley still has a lot of growing to do (he has grown since s1: his kindness for one thing absolutely has!).

crowley does not seem to recognise where his lack/refusal of development may have contributed to the breakdown in his and aziraphale's relationship by the end of s2, even if that lack/refusal is not directly referenced in the final fifteen. by this i mean: crowley appears to have a very clear expectation of how he believes aziraphale does - and perhaps should - think and behave. crowley, to crowley's mind, he has the right of it ("crowley knows best"), and that includes him thinking that aziraphale will act in the way he has come to expect as a result of his influence on him. crowley has poked and prodded aziraphale away from heaven's rhetoric and dogma* about what good and right is, which aziraphale desperately needed... but does that mean that aziraphale should replace that belief system with Morality According To Crowley? instead of developing his own ...exactly as aziraphale demonstrates in the final fifteen?

when aziraphale doesn't do what crowley thinks he ought to, instead of crowley considering that his perspective of aziraphale may not actually be reality, he takes it as a betrayal and a rejection of crowley himself. though we won't really know until s3 (and possibly not even then) what crowley was really thinking during the final fifteen, it isn't too impossible a notion that crowley now thinks that aziraphale has chosen heaven over him, and loves heaven more than him. which... after everything that he has seen aziraphale go through, battle, and come to terms with, does he truly think that little of him? that aziraphale would think that little of crowley? if he does, that's an incredibly sad and disappointing prospect. perhaps bold of me to say, but sometimes it seems that there are some specific similarities between crowley and heaven in how they individually view and treat aziraphale.

*whilst crowley encouraging aziraphale to think outside of heaven is a good thing, and aziraphale definitely needs it, it does elicit out a couple of concerning traits from them both that, whilst may be borne from respective senses of powerlessness, they manifest onto each other.

crowley has a hero/saviour complex, which aziraphale encourages. aziraphale encourages it - by his own admission - because he thinks it makes crowley happy. however, what is not clear is whether aziraphale recognises that in allowing this, not only does it potentially suggest that crowley benefits from perceiving aziraphale as incapable of protecting himself, and any ability to protect himself (or indeed crowley! 1941!) threatens what crowley thinks is his place in aziraphale's existence, but also that aziraphale himself is projecting what he doesn't get from heaven/god onto crowley.

it similarly isn't clear whether crowley realises that not only he has been - in part - substituted for god/heaven in aziraphale's eyes because he provides the love, acceptance and confirmation of worth that aziraphale has craved since time immemorial, but also that in keeping information from aziraphale that directly concerns him, crowley is nurturing an environment where aziraphale will make decisions according to the limited information he has. we even have a suggestion of this in the final fifteen: to aziraphale's mind, it won't be crowley that protected him from heaven's threat of erasure from the BOL (ie. crowley didn't tell him), it was the metatron. (and if aziraphale finds out about/puts together, in s3, the sheer amount and scale of information that crowley kept from him, there is going to be the hard conversation of whether trust between them can exist as it has before, built over thousands of years).

just as crowley has an arguably skewed perception of aziraphale, aziraphale has a skewed perception of him in return (the levels of codependency are off the charts, lads). it's not a unique observation to say that they both need this break in order to renegotiate within themselves how they view each other, but it's no less true for being repeated.

[sparklecryptid]

Randomly thinking of that one thing you talked about ages ago, where Anordil went through a bunch of Edain myths going "Me. Me. ME. Yeah me, but they stole my horse, what was I supposed to do? Me. Me. Not me! Oh, wow, no definitely not me yikes. Ooooh, yeah this one might've been me, not totally sure."

Hilarious, fantastic. Picturing Erestor's face while listening to this is a GIFT, okay? The historian and the lover are warring inside him. He want's to know more, and yet PICTURING Anordil in these situations makes him want to growl and wrap her in chain mail, right?

Erestor is fascinated by his lover. He’s fascinated by the way her hands move across a lyre or a harp and the simple joy that becomes vibrant on her face when Erestor and Glorfindel remember something as simple as her favorite fruit.

It’s raspberries, and the fact Anordil had expected her lovers to forget such a simple fact stings. There are times Erestor is tempted to ask her about what happened between the fall of Beleriand and the start of the Third Age. Why hadn’t she come forward sooner?

Why did everyone seem to forget her? Erestor wants to ask, he is dying to know, but every time the subject is broached Andoril tightens like a bowstring.

Neither Erestor nor Glorfindel have managed to ask.

Anordil is fascinating in many ways, Erestor isn’t sure if he’d appreciate it if she was less fascinating in this one particular way.

“Oh! ‘The Elf-Bride!’” Anordil makes a face when she reads through the text of that myth, “Well, he didn’t manage to marry me for one thing, and for another I didn’t kill him. Just stabbed. Lightly.”

“Lightly,” Glorfindel echoes from where he sits beside Erestor, “Anordil-“

“Also he never kissed me. Because I stabbed him, brought his keep down around him, and ran away.” Anordil pauses. “I did make a rather nice tunic out of the dress I was forced to wear, and the gems on it were so low quality I couldn’t find a decent price for them.”

Erestor has not killed anything besides the occasional Orc in centuries yet he is still overcome with the desire to stab something.

He reaches a hand toward Glorfindel and takes one of Glorfindel’s hands into his own. Glorfindel shoots him a grateful look. They are too old to be entertaining the notion of murder.

“Oh.” Anordil perks up suddenly and Erestor isn’t sure if he wants her to continue. “The Siren of The Eastern Seas! That was me too.”

“…Wasn’t the Siren a pirate?”

Anordil grins. “I got into the whole pirate thing by accident - stealing from corrupt kings does earn you that reputation - but yeah! I was!”

Glorfindel lets his head meet the table with a thunk.

Erestor thinks he might be cutting off circulation to Glorfindels hand. Better that than acting on impulse and demanding the smiths make an entire set of armor for Anordil.

[dragon-susceptible]

TDP Rewatch S2 E1: A Secret and a Spark

Resuming rewatch on my new TDP sideblog! I'll likely reblog this to my original blog for visibility though, so people who have been keeping up with my posts can find it.

This episode doesn't have an intro voice right away, it just cuts to Amaya at the Breach. I love that she glares at the wall and it stops spitting steam. This woman can literally intimidate a volcano.

There's no way she or the horse would be okay in the heat with the sheer proximity to that much lava, this show runs on the same suspension of disbelief that has dwarves and orcs just building metal grates over lava flows and using that for light in World of Warcraft.

And this is the first time we see elves properly in person other than Moonshadow elves! Sunfire soldiers challenging Amaya at the Breach. The two that lead the assault have metal guards in front of their horns, while the third just has rings. They all seem to wear rings behind the guards, to be fair, that seems to be a very very common Sunfire ornamentation. It does interest me that one of the soldiers who comes at Amaya has hair as white as a Moonshadow elf, though she doesn't appear to be particularly old.

I appreciate that this is a kids' show the same way ATLA was a kids' show. They let things happen offscreen, leave it implied, deal with things in ways that kids can handle, but they also don't shy away from the fact that this is a war. Amaya is a general. Those three elves that attacked her are very much dead, she threw them into lava flow and we heard them sizzle. Janai's heatbeing mode isn't something all Sunfire elves can do, and it's unclear if that would even save her from outright lava anyway.

Knowing these two get married a few years in the future makes this a fascinating confrontation.

I also appreciate the lore that the magic on a Sunforge blade just holds the blade at its own melting point. Amaya's sword has a lower melting point than Janai's, so she cut through it. Her shield doesn't, so Janai just pushed her along the wall when she went to cut through it. Does this make scientific sense? Absolutely not. But I like that there's some kind of limit, the mechanic isn't just "oh these can cut through anything".

Viren just comes into meetings yelling these days, huh?

You know, I really appreciated Councilman Saleer at first. In his introduction he was the one telling Viren to calm down, that maybe vengeance was all the elves wanted and things would settle down, that they should wait to act. Dude what happened?

He just straight up makes up a report from Amaya, says she's reported a massing of elves at the Breach. There isn't one and she's made no such report. How did he expect that to go? Like, that's. It won't take much to fuck that up for you, Viren, because it's just an outright lie.

God I hate this guy. Off again with the ranting about humanity potentially facing extinction. Wtf is he talking about. The whole point of the Breach is that even if the dragons wanted to do that, it's too resource-intensive.

The first season took a week, and by the end of it, Rayla couldn't use her let hand hardly at all. Two days later she's recovered enough to have full usage again.

The WoW nerd in the artists and designers is SUPER clear in this episode, between the lava at the Breach and all of the old Moonshadow architecture at the Nexus. Some of this stuff is just practically lifted wholesale from Darnassus or Suramar, the Ancient Kal'dorei Empire.

Oho, this is interesting, check out the designs of the first souls summoned by Lujanne's Historia Viventum spell.

The two in the lead are just straight up Skor and Andromeda's silhouettes, and the elf behind Andromeda looks like Ram. None of them resemble Callisto, though.

One of the shades that looks like Andromeda is the one playing the illusory harp.

So yes, in the old days, Moonshadow elves could and did open the portal between life and death. Given their reverence for honor and completion of their quests, I would imagine this was done to provide closure for the dead and those who were left behind. Death would be nothing to fear if you knew, for a fact, where your soul went afterward, and that you and those you loved weren't completely lost when they died.

That would be incredibly traumatic to lose. I can't begin to imagine the generational suffering and cultural decimation that would have been, to truly have direct contact with your ancestors and to have that simply torn away. No wonder they leave a guardian at the Nexus.

I appreciate Lujanne casually saying she doesn't kill people, she just drives them insane. Her method of protection is just "no one will ever believe you when you go back down :3"

Viren's pause at Harrow's door doesn't strike me as grief, honestly. Dude, you could have done more to help than just fucking stand there, and let your children risk their lives for someone you wanted dead. Though it does intrigue me that it's been over a week now and none of the arrows have been removed from the king's door. The place hasn't been cleaned up.

Yeah, there's so much destruction of property in the room. That fight with Runaan and Skor lasted for a while after Pip/Harrow was shot.

It took more effort for Viren to step on Harrow's fallen shoulder plate than it would have to step around it. That was deliberate.

This fucker really goes and just sits down in Harrow's bed and fondles the painting of Harrow's family as if he has some kind of right to Harrow's person. This invasive motherfucker.

I love that Rayla talks to herself. And also Moonshadow elves' ears move! She just perked hers up to listen in this scene. I love that so much.

YEET the baby dragon! The poor ten year olds both panicking about it made me giggle so much.

I think it's neat that Lujanne's cape kind of evokes the wings of a moth.

The Crow Master looks almost just like one of my friends and it makes me laugh every time he comes up. This friend does not watch the show but whenever I do I message him with a screenshot like "I saw you again today." We'll see what he says.

Katolis using crows instead of pigeons to send messages is an interesting choice. Also the Crow Master has reminded me how neat it is that they included nail polish in this show. A lot of medieval or pseudo-medieval shows and movies refuse to use things like that for fear of seeming anachronistic, but the first historical evidence of nail color is from 5k+ years ago (there's debate about whether it should take its origins from the nail stains in China or the slightly earlier practice of using henna in India, but henna was used for more than just nail art. Henna stains can also be used as tattoos, and the TDP writers actually have mentioned the elf tattoos are a magical version of it that lasts much longer). People have been finding ways to stain our nails different colors for a ridiculously long time.

The poor Crow Master. Viren just outright threatens to kill him if he doesn't send the letters.

Customers. The same in every universe.

Lujanne's a terrible teacher. I do hope we get Arc 3 just because I want to see more of Callum's interactions with Ethari and Runaan, since both of them are mages who are decent teachers.

It hits that Harrow's smiling in his painting with Sarai and the boys, but he wasn't in his coronation painting with Viren.

[beevean]

I know I keep harping on the same bullshit and I'm sick of myself as well, but it really baffles me that this is considered near perfect writing:

He's looking at Lenore as she's about to sun herself. He's talking about vampires. So let me ask: what the hell do you mean "recently".

Appreciating the beauty of vampires is all you've been doing!!

Hector started as a victim of abuse so alienated by his own kind that he related more with animals than humans. He's fascinated with death. He's fascinated with vampires. This is not a good thing, since it's the main reason the man thinks that turning humans into cattle would be a "merciful" compromise: he sees humans as dangerous animals that need to be controlled, but not completely eradicated, as "like any animal, I think the world would be poorer with their extinction".

You'd think that his development would be about him reconnecting with his humanity. Realizing they are people, with hopes and dreams and kindness and they deserve better than being food for vampires. Just as he, too, deserves better than being cooped up in a little house, or in a castle. You know. His literal development in canon.

It's predictable, but at least it's coherent. But eh, I guess Isaac stole this poignant character arc, whoops.

That line makes no sense. Not only because of what I just said, but because Hector just finished comparing vampires to parasites that do nothing but eat, so starved they are for power. For fuck's sake it's literally what triggers Lenore's suicide! That realization by all means should have been him accepting that vampires are not as wise as he thought, that at their core they're still animals and they hurt him and are harmful to the world because of it. But apparently no. He's still on his bullshit, just as his big badass moment in this season is planning to bring back Dracula even after he realized that he had lied to him to exterminate mankind in a way he didn't approve of.

Ah. But this isn't about Hector. Hector stopped being a character halfway through S2. This is about Lenore. This is him doing the closest thing to confessing his love for the woman who abused him in all sorts of ways. She's beautiful and she should have lived with him, but she chose to peace out, unwilling to withstand her own ironic fate with the man she enslaved: and he's perfectly fine with her choosing the "freedom" that she deprived him of, that forced him to multilate his fingers to gain (and even in part, as he's once again stuck in a castle with no desire to see the world).

But it's fine. She's a beautiful vampire and he'll always cherish her as such.

This writing is disgusting. This show puts vampires on an uncomfortable pedestal and does very little to make them sympathetic, so it really comes off as simply misanthropic.

[felixravinstills]

Hi! I'm new around your ask box, your blog in general, but it's been keeping me so entertained with all the writing for these characters i've never even paid attention to before! Keep up the good work, you got me to be interested in reading the HG novels, haha.

Anyway, since you recently published work on Dr. Gaul I feel like this would be the most appropriate time to talk about it. I don't know if you've ever explored this concept before, or if someone has already mentioned it to you or if it's just common knowledge in the fan base, but the fact that Dr. Gaul hadn't considered Coriolanus' proposal of 'getting people attached to the tributes' for the past 9 editions is so fascinating? It's such a basic concept in writing, people will want more out of something they care for—usually and especially characters— that it boggles my mind that it wasn't something she considered before (though, to her credit, applying fiction logic to a gore fest reality show does seem pretty unconventional. Or maybe it's a case of Oops! Missed something obvious!).

It makes me wonder a couple of things about her and her worldview. She spends the entire movie (and I assume, the book) harping on about humanity's inherent savagery, yet she considered that empathy and sentimentality could get in the way of what's allegedly biological? Is that why she saw Snow as so promising? Because on top of proving her right he proved that even human kindness can be weaponized to favor violence?

I'm so sorry for the long ask I ended up rambling too much but i thought you'd be the only person in the fanbase at the moment who'd engage in Dr. Gaul discussion lol!

Oh, hello, anon! Welcome! Always happy to answer asks, no matter the length! Feel free to ramble!

Also with the exception of Gaul, there might be a good reason no one pays attention to the characters that I talk about (I basically made most of them up)! But I appreciate the interest! The novels are great! While I do fixate on minor characters, I do try and align what I write with the themes and ideas the novels explore, so there's still plenty of appeal to them! Just don't expect the Ravinstills to be a really big part of them lol (Gaul discussion under the cut)

To me, Volumnia doesn't seem like the type to care if people watch the Games. Like I know she reacts like this in the book:

Dean Highbottom shot Dr. Gaul a look. “You see? It’s a failed experiment.” “It is if no one watches!” she snapped back. She gave Coriolanus an indulgent smile. “He’s a child himself. Give him time. I’ve got a good feeling about this one. Well, I’m off to visit my mutts.” (Ch. 4)

But to me, I think it only starts mattering to her, because there's this implication that if they don't start raising viewership (or having some more concrete worth to the Capitol), then the Games will end, and she would hate for her little experiment annual art installation to be taken down. I think part of the reason that she doesn't come up with getting people attached to the Tributes is that she gets tunnel vision. She doesn't understand why no one can see her thesis statement. The worth of the Games is self-explanatory to her because of her worldview. How can she get people to see what should be obvious? The Games for her are the point in themselves— her little microcosm of the world reflecting her ideology. If the people don't understand the message right in front of them, then they're fools.

Volumnia Gaul, in my mind (and like many people in the Capitol), is a hypocrite. She'll say that humanity is inherently savage and then close her eyes to any signs of empathy and compassion happening around her (and in her Games). I think that she latches onto Snow, because she sees the seeds of ambition and the desperation of someone on a shorter leash than most in him. He's the perfect candidate for someone she can mold into understanding her worldview (and I think he reminds her of President Ravinstill, but that's fully me taking vague subtextual friendship between her and Pres. R and turning it into a whole thing). I also think that Crassus Snow being someone who used his best friend to get ahead and also was likely fully okay with an idea like the Hunger Games, plays a part in her initial interest in Snow. (Also in the above quote? I love that she's already got an eye on him! "I have a good feeling about this one." ehjtkrhjk)

I think Snow's weaponizing of empathy is actually very appealing to her like you say! I think she sees it as a way to rationalize acts of kindness and sentiment as something rooted in her idea of humanity's inherent violence! She gets to use him as a case study for that even if not all his kindness was a way to get ahead. Her whole worldview maintains itself through confirmation bias, and I think what she thinks of Snow is no different. She actively shapes him, and then probably turns around and goes "see that? human nature."

Anyway, I hope I answered all your questions! Once, I start typing I get a little lost, so if you'd like elaboration or clarification or just have another question, let me know!

And as always, these are, of course, just my two cents. There's definitely many ways to interpret Gaul and just everything.

I am also surprised that there isn't more discussion on Volumnia though... Like there are a few others, who contemplate her as well, but I thought there would be more. Anyway, thanks for the ask again, anon!

[khajiit-journal]

Middas, First Seed 19, 2025

🗓️ | Wednesday, March 19, 2025 🌦️ | warm & clear 🌙 | waning gibbous 🎊 | no holiday

— ☆ —

no dream remembered

— ☆ —

Gosh gosh gosh I just keep on forgetting to upkeep this blog [ shakes myself like a maraca ]

Let's see... today I got back into my daily draws which is good, got a very mixed bag of messages which is honestly a good sign for the haunting being in a resolved state. Because the haunting spirits would broken record, so getting a mixed bag of different types of advice is really good. Even if the advice miffs me a bit lol.

I had to take a break partway through because of mental health reasons, in which I was also recepted to kindly and compassionately, which was a shock in a way because I got so used to the lack of compassion from impersonating spirits that being shown kindness and a simple "Hey... go take a break and calm down, we'll be here when you get back, take care of yourself" was a shocker. RIP me I'm devastated

I am happy to see that the haunting can be kept at bay like this. It sucks that every Sunday I have to go through the motions, but I've essentially struck a deal with those spirit guides helping me that they get dinner every night if they help with the banishing.

Which reminds me, I did get scolded for not calling upon them the first time the new routine started. Got a resounding bonk for not relying on them to help me, and it proved to be a legit concern because that first week, my banishment wore off sooner than intended, but the next week, when I did call upon my spirit guides, it lasted until the next Sunday.

So... generally good to know that things are gonna be peaceful. Annoying to upkeep, but peaceful.

Speaking of, though, I need to tend to my shrines. I remembered I left an old offering to Bumori Cail on my shrine for too long now, and my shrines are starting to collect dust. I know my spirit guides do not care that much about it right now and they really want me to settle in at a pace I can work with, but I feel bad when I look at my shrines and see dust.

I don't actually tend to my shrines as much as I really should. ADHD and all that. So I do need to try and break into a habit for upkeep at some point. I need to get back to my daily water offerings proper too.

I know I harp on and on and on about the stupid haunting, but it really was a big pain that halted a lot of the habits I did have and stopped a lot of my progress. I couldn't make offerings and have it matter because all my offerings were stolen and only proved to make the haunting worse. So now that I've got it in a resolved state... I can do offerings now!

I've also worked today on assigning more Citadel significators to my spirit guides and helper spirits of various flavors (familiars, hired, servitors), so I can just pull from that and refer to my list, which is color-coded for deities, non-deities, ancestors, etc.

Speaking of ancestors, my second Scottish clan accepted the small offering and inclusion on my ancestor shrine, which is good. I wonder how the two clans get along... I'll have to ask with tarot tomorrow if I remember.

I've also been getting back into working on "today's pop culture spirit is..." The next post should be Tamamo no Mae from Onmyoji, who is a fascinating spirit to work with because they're very gender queer. I don't think Onmyoji the game intended them to be seen as anything other than a crossdresser, but Tamamo no Mae self identified to me as fairly queer in the gender department, which always makes me happy to have spirit guides that are mutually non-cis.

Tamamo no Mae is also interesting for the spirit communication aspects they bring with them, especially with the deceased. I'll have to explore this further in the future.

I haven't finished the post as of writing this one, but I'll work on it tonight or tomorrow. We shall see. If it doesn't release tomorrow oh well, it's a for fun project than a serious one so I'm not actually holding myself to some standard.

Had a lot to say today! I think I'm done now. See you all in the next one.

[charmwasjess]

Hope you’re having a great start to a holiday weekend!

I had to write you since I’m listening to old episodes of A More Civilized Age podcast, it’s not just a watch along show they analyze Star Wars from a socio-political lens. You know, try to work out George’s bizarre progressive Boomer ideas. What makes me want to tell you about it is they covered Dooku: Jedi Lost on their Patreon stream and they keep saying they have to take it from the paywall because they keep bringing it up afterwards, like it’s the turnkey that explains so much about the Prequels and beyond. Fans should really get hip to it! It really does answer or at least hint at so much of the wider world building.

Thanks, Geode! I am having a great holiday weekend, I'm actually running off to France for a bit!

First, I've never listened to it, but this podcast sounds like so much fun. It's amazing to me how overtly political Star Wars can be. There's so much wild stuff George put in (successfully and unsuccessfully both) and its greater context is really interesting. I STILL sometimes think about the about the significance of him including Palpatine's emergency powers while Bush was doing the real life Patriot Act and the invasion of Iraq.

Second, that's fascinating! I'm so glad the book is getting some love! It's amazing how much Dooku's feelings about Serenno parallel Padme's about Naboo. And, for a least a moment, we get to see Dooku as exactly how the Council characterizes him in AotC as "a political idealist" (who quickly becomes a murderer!) And it does set up quite a lot for the series. Dooku meets Palpatine, he leaves the Order and tells us... kind of... why, and we get backstory to understand both why Sifo-Dyas would trust him with the Clone order and how he even got back in secret contact with him to pull it off.

My favorite little detail about Dooku: Jedi Lost (and I've harped on a bit about it so forgive me if I'm repeating myself) is that it's dedicated to Christopher Lee, and on closer analysis, the entire format is set up to be an homage to his extensive autobiographical/memoir writing. There are so many subtle references to Lord of Misrule or Tall Dark and Gruesome, right down to Dooku not liking spiders.

[chocolatepot]

Still thinking about my thoughts on Austen and asexuality and writing-while-aspec ...

One of the reasons this is so fascinating to me is that it took me years to realize I'm aspec - that the way I feel and think about sexual attraction is fundamentally different from the way most people do - but once I did, I started to look at my own fiction and saw evidence all over the place. But it's not "evidence" that anyone not-aspec is probably going to pick up on, I think (given that nobody has ever asked me about it, lol).

Like. I write characters who are attractive, and other characters notice that they're attractive, but they just note levels of attractiveness in passing because those are ... things you notice! But in my writing, it's just another trait, on par with other good traits like "being nice", "talent for art", etc. I don't think I've ever written a main character who actually falls in love based on looks; the closest I tend to get is writing Ed/Stede in AUs where Ed notices Stede's looks before they even interact and it's a major factor in his approaching Stede, but a) that's an established character for whom this seems specifically IC, not one I've invented, and b) even then, this is wayyy scaled back from what seems to be a "normal" allosexual response based on the fandom.

And this is something that makes me think of Austen, because characters' attractiveness in her books is registered, it affects their public perception and their value in marriage, but on the page it is not a big motivator for them. They're largely pursuing either money/status or else, if they're sensible, a true meeting of minds with mutual esteem. Being good-looking is a benefit and an attraction, but on par with a host of other personal factors.

Mr. Darcy recognizes that Jane Bennet is very pretty on first meeting but expresses no desire to dance with her - he's mainly focused on the social implications of the looks of one's dance partner. His own attractiveness is up in the air in the book, based on his manners and his money. Anne Elliot is described as having been "an extremely pretty girl" in her youth, but also "with gentleness, modesty, taste, and feeling," while Captain Wentworth was '"a remarkably fine young man, with a great deal of intelligence, spirit, and brilliancy" - all of these things coming together with his boredom and her lack of anyone to love to make them a match. Mr. Tilney is "very near" being "quite handsome", but what makes an impression is his wit (in good and bad ways), and Catherine Morland is repeatedly described as good-looking, but her enthusiasm for Henry is what mostly draws him in. Edmund Bertram is attracted to Mary Crawford's "beauty, wit, and good-humour" and the "peculiarly becoming" talent she has for playing the harp. And Henry Crawford's feelings about Fanny, while stimulated by her looks, are much more complicated.

It's really easy to dismiss all of this as nineteenth-century prudishness and/or adherence to the principle that marriage needs to be based on more than attraction. But there are plenty of period novels where it's clear that a heroine's looks are a primary focus for the hero or the villain! It's very normal for nineteenth-century novels to have characters moved by each other's beauty in a foregrounded way. This might have been a deliberate choice on Austen's part, but it wasn't a requirement. (And she's hardly prudish. The books are pretty frank about the fact that people do in general feel and act on sexual attraction.)

The idea I keep coming back to is that there's such a big grey area encompassing finding it more romantic to not focus on physical attraction, thinking it's more realistic to have a holistic kind of attraction, etc. with general proximity to the concept of asexuality.

[very-grownup]

Book 15, 2024

There's something about an older paperback fantasy trilogy that can feel so ballsy when considering the current state of fantasy publishing, although maybe the main thing is how they can easily fit into a jacket pocket.

Patricia A. McKillip's "The Riddle-Master of Hed" is fascinating in the reminder of what a lie the gritty adultification of the fantasy genre is (we all know the direction I am looking in).

One of those loosely Celtic fantasies, "The Riddle-Master of Hed" is much like the later works of McKillip's that I've read in that McKillip has no interest in infodumping or taking the time to explain the world to the reader. Pick it up from context clues, you're here for a /story/. Let the first line of the wikipedia plot summary act as an example:

"The titular Riddle-Master is Morgon, the Prince of Hed, a small, simple island populated by farmers and swineherds. The prince, inexplicably, has three stars on his forehead."

What's a Riddle-Master? OBVIOUSLY IT IS SOMEONE WHO IS REALLY GOOD AT RIDDLES AND KNOWS THE SORT OF THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW TO ANSWER RIDDLES. What are riddles? MOTHERFUCKER YOU KNOW WHAT RIDDLES ARE. It doesn't take long to pick up that a Riddle-Master is a highly educated scholar, a fantasy philosopher, and Morgon's a really good one. You learn that "Prince" doesn't mean "Son of a King", it's a title in and of itself that involves a spiritual connection to the land he's prince of (Hed). The stars? THEY'RE INEXPLICABLE you and Morgon know they're probably some kind of omen or mark of Chosen Oneness because you've read a book before and so has Morgon, they're just a signifier.

Before the start of the book, Morgon won a riddle-game with a curse ghost king and now has technically won the hand of the second most beautiful woman in the world but he's kind of embarrassed about the whole thing. Deth, a wandering harpist and messenger of the High One (God?), jostles Morgon into leaving Hed to pursue this and thus begins a novel that is entirely a Hero Trying to Refuse the Call. Morgon just wants to Go Home; this man has no great longing for something more than his little farm island and pigs and beer and maybe doing riddles but in a casual way, not in a inadvertently uncovering the secrets of the universe way.

There is a shipwreck, there are shapeshifters, there is amnesia and mysterious relic cities from when there were Sorcerers, people with pasts too long for their ages, foresty warrior women, dreams full of hidden knowledge, a legendary sword, an unplayable harp. It's a series of fantasy incidents that seem to only be connected by the fact that they keep happening to Morgon.

As I have also found with McKillip's writing, there's a dreamy, soft quality to everything that pulls you along gently. "The Riddle-Master of Hed" is not a page-turner, it's almost cozy.

And terrible things happen. The ending is startlingly bleak without fanfare. If you read "The Riddle-Master of Hed" as a standalone novel, it would be like playing a videogame with bad end possibilities and then leaving it there. It doesn't feel like a cliffhanger, possibly because of the quiet quality of McKillip's prose, possibly because of the fairytale elements in the style of McKillip's storytelling.

My only real complaint? One of the land rulers Morgon encounters in his journey is called the Morgol. Ms. McKillip, please, don't give me Morgon and the Morgol in the same book. Don't do that to me.