#I just??? am??? free???
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I genuinely can neither understand nor believe that my graduate life in which we were told not to commit to anything extracurricular because of how busy we would be is more relaxed and calm than my undergraduate where we were told we shouldn’t complain about the amount of homework and make sure to do extracurriculars/more classes or else you won’t be employable—
#jonniejonniejonquil#this is WILD GENUINELY#I went. to a guest lecture. AND two bookstores today. AND the library#but not for class? for? fun!?!?#it’s 2:30 pm and I have nothing else to do#I have already sent out my emails for the day and all my homework#and I have to do laundry but I have no classes tomorrow so am doing it then#I just??? am??? free???#like I can do work on my applications for dphil or work WAY ahead on my dissertation#but I’m??? NOT??? SWAMPED???#I feel like I don’t know what to do with myself???
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i have such a love for characters who descend into madness or villainy out of deep, deep empathy. characters who fundamentally cannot cope with the cruel realities they find themselves in and blow up about it in spectacular fashion. fallen angel type characters with tears of outrage in their eyes. characters who break before they bend, and break so badly they splatter blood all over their noble ideals. every variation on it gets me so good
#getou suguru#kaneki ken#abyss twin#i know there are others who im not thinking of rn#feel free to reblog with more examples#aphelion.txt#tropes#WAIT I REMEMBERED MORE#jaina proudmoore#dimitri alexandre blaiddyd#phosphophyllite#i just spent like half an hour trying to find this on tv tropes but it must be. Too specific of a thing i have in mind bc#I just kept finding similar and related but too broad categories#despair event horizon. fallen hero. well intentioned extremist. etc etc etc#like specifically i'm talking about when the character's EMPATHY is the CRUX of the problem. sosooo crunchyjuicytasty#edit:#also just know that i am reading every tag on this post#and enthusiastically scribbling down the names i dont recognizr#so i can check out their series later#edit 2 wow this post blew up 🫡 godspeed fellow villain likers#the amount of people tagging this as 'me lmao' is concerning to me#wwx#how did i fucking forget this was also yllz era wwx
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they'll fund a genocide and let their poor regions be destroyed. don't fucking forgive them for that.
my hometown is completely gone from what pictures i can find of it, i have not heard from my family (including aunts, uncles, parents, one sibling, and a grandparent), and the infrastructure in the mountain communities is wiped out. i cannot stress how catastrophic this is, or how difficult it will be for these communities to build back. i am angry, and scared, and heartbroken by everything that's happened.
and our government is spending it's money to fund a genocide.
free palestine, and don't be complicit. realize that this is not something happening that doesn't affect you--although it shouldn't take this to care about the deaths of thousands of people anyway.
#sorry for this angry rant i am not having a good week#hurricane helene#helene#free palestine#laurie thoughts#maybe i'm just screaming to the void and nobody will care since that's how it's gone so far#i could go on and on about how fucked this is not to mention the politics of how we got here#i am so fucking done
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I am incredibly serious right now when I beg you all, please, and if you have Twitter or Tiktok or whatever to please spread the word: click on an author's profile on Ao3.
You want to know if an author has written more? Want to know if they're still writing? Want to see more from them? Want to know if they've written a trope or kink or sex scenario you enjoy?
Click on their name. And look at their profile.
I cannot tell you how many times in the last six months someone has read a new or newer fic of mine and said they (a new reader who has read nothing else I've done) "can't wait to see what you do next!" I've written 50+ fics and over a million words already.
"I don't know if you're still writing..." click on my profile. I am. I literally wrote a 128k+ fic for that ship last month.
"Would you ever do X?" "Please do Y!" I already did. Click on my name and look at my works.
Archive of our Own is a library. It's an archive. Not social media. It is your responsibility to fight back against the laziness that corporate algorithms have trained into you.
Click my author name. Just click it. Just click it.
Before you demand more, or ask if a writer will do XYZ, or wonder if the author still writing, or anything - click on their profile. Click on the author's profile.
I'm not trying to be mean or condescending or anything like that. I'm just exhausted. It's disheartening and frustrating to repeat myself ad nauseam, because someone couldn't take thirty seconds to do the tiniest bit of work to see if I've written lately, if I've written more for their ship, or scan my works to see if I've written what they're asking for. Please. Please. I'm begging.
Click the author's name, and explore before you ask.
#lincoln rants#I'm sorry but I'm at the end of my rope#I got a LOT of these comments on my Buddie Platonic Sugar Baby AU#acting like I was some new writer to the fandom#babes I've been here since the dawn of 2020 where the fuck have YOU been?#I am happy to answer questions! I love responding to reader comments!#but it is beyond frustrating to answer a question that if they'd literally just clicked on my author name#they would have gotten the answer to themselves#yes I have written more yes I am still writing yes I've been here longer than you have#and I don't mean that in a pulling rank/seniority way I just mean that in a could you please just CLICK ON MY NAME???#INSTEAD OF MAKING ASSUMPTIONS??? way#I'VE DONE MY TIME! FOUR AND A HALF YEARS! IN THE CIRCUS!#I'm sorry but sometimes I have to yell publicly a little#and I really do suspect this is people who are not on tumblr#so I am genuinely begging you#if you are on other social media platforms#PLEASE feel free to repeat what I have said#PLEASE I AM SO TIRED!!!
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I need to talk about this because it's making me feel insane.
Last week, my white leftist goyisch friends sat me, a wholeass antizionist Jew, down for a "talk" because they "needed to check in about Palestine" and make sure "our values aligned before we hung out again". They apparently needed to "suss out" where I stood on Palestinian rights, despite having had several conversations about Palestine and them being some of my closest friends. They needed to check, to search for and uncover my true values, because I had said some "disturbing things" that had made them "suspicious".
Disturbing things included:
Supporting IfNotNow which is a "liberal zionist organization" because it normalizes Jewish heritage in the Levant
Not bringing Palestine up enough, despite them also not bringing it up (this was apparently a test)
Mentioning that the Houthi's flag talks about cursing all Jews
Saying Stalin was antisemitic because of the "all the paw-grihms"
...and apparently other things they wouldn't specify, but had been tracking for months.
To clarify, I am an antizionist Jew from three generations of antizionist Jews. I have been vocal in my support of Palestinian liberation and in my condemnation both of Israel's actions and its violent founding as a state, and of zionism in many of its forms. I am a regular donor to Palestinian and Jewish NGOs and advocate for Jewish antizionism in person, at temple, and online. I have been talking about Palestinian liberation before they could point to Gaza on a map. But they needed to make sure, they needed to "suss out", they needed to check. And it's notable that the majority of moments that made them suspicious of me were times where I talked about antisemitism: not about Palestinian liberation, not about Israeli decolonization, not about anything actually relevant to Palestine. It was talking about antisemitism that made them check to see if I was a cryptozionist.
One of the most pervasive and insidious forms of antisemitism is the idea that Jews are inherently untrustworthy and suspicious. You have to constantly be on guard, track what they say and do, "suss out" the real truth. You have to keep them in line and and watch them carefully because they're liars and sneaks, and if you're not looking closely they'll return to their real values (and drag you down with them). This is where the idea of "cryptozionist" comes from and what it's directly building off of: the inherent untrustworthiness of Jews and the need to check. Because no matter how close you become you can't actually trust them, and any upstanding gentile should make sure to avoid associating with Jews before "sussing out" their real allegiances and intentions. You have to make them turn out their pockets, just in case.
I'm the first and only Jew they actually were friends with; I know because they've told me (strangely proud of it in the way white Americans are proud of that kind of thing). They've asked me questions about Judaism and fawned over how beautiful and unique it was for me to be connected to my community and culture. Pre-October 7th, one of them had even mentioned being interested in coming to services at my temple. She still has my copy of our siddur. But now she needed to "check" before she could be seen with me in public. Which is what it was: it wasn't a "you're my friend and I need to give you some feedback because you're fucking up" kind of intervention (which is normal and important to have), it was a trial. It was a last chance for me to prove to them that I'm clean-enough that they could afford to risk being seen with me in public, just in case someone noticed them fraternizing with a hypothetical Enemy and their leftism was compromised. It was a test to make sure that I behave properly when required to, that I'd play along and do what I'm told and turn out my pockets if asked (because any refusal would validate the notion of having something to hide). And above all it was an opportunity for them to reaffirm their own cleanliness by putting my imagined immorality in its place.
I did what I needed to do: I smiled. I apologized. I "didn't know that". I "appreciated the feedback". I turned out my pockets because what else could I do? They'd decided who I was and what I believed, regardless of what I said or did, so there was no point in explaining that they were wrong about me. If I had told them they were being antisemitic, it would just have been proof that they were right. Caring about antisemitism is a dogwhistle in the spaces they've chosen: it's not a real form of oppression, it's a tactic for sneaky, lying Jews to weasel out of admitting their true alliances. There was nothing I could say.
Nothing's really changed for me. I'm going to continue my activism for Palestinian liberation rooted in my culture and my faith. Antizionism is still not antisemitism. But I got a reminder that many white goyisch leftists fundamentally just don't trust Jews, and that the activist spaces they're in not only exacerbate their antisemitism in an increasingly insular echo chamber, but also allow them to finally vent their internalized bigotry in a socially-acceptable way. In my former friends' eyes, what they did was activism—disavowing a Jew (and making me feel humiliated, scared, and unclean in the process) as a cathartic stand-in for doing fucking anything for actual Palestinian liberation—but for me it was a grief that I'll be feeling for a long time: not only over losing friends I loved and trusted, but also over my sense of belonging and security in leftist spaces.
#jumblr#I need to talk about this because I feel like I'm losing it a little#its incredibly disconcerting to have this come out of nowhere from people I trusted and it's hard to not blame myself somehow#antizionism#antizionist jew#judaism#jewish#jew#jewblr#leftist#leftism#leftist antisemitism#antisemitism#Palestine#Israel#again to reiterate: I am just as committed to Palestinian liberation as ever and antizionism is still not antisemitism#but fuck do some leftists put in the legwork to making it seem like it is huh#free Palestine
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Please do your daily click!
This is a great way for people without any funds or no ways to contact their representatives can help out!! 🍉🍉🍉 (link below)
Free Palestine
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Being the only female on TF141 is like Simon constantly scolding you for getting into sheningans with Johnny and Kyle while Price sits on his arm chair with a good book, whiskey in hand and him puffing out smoke like a chimney from his cigar like the daddy he is.
"Delete it."
"Why?"
"Cos I fockin' said so."
You cock an amused brow at him as you look up from the embarrassingly cute photo of the skull-masked behemoth fast sleep and cuddling your Hello Kitty plushie. "Cos y'fockin' said so?" You mock his gravelly Manchester accent and it sends Johnny and Kyle into a fit of giggles. And even Price is chuffed by it. It's contagious really.
It lets your guard down enough for him to yank your phone out of your hand deleting the picture with a swiftness that made your eyes ream and your heart jump. You all groan and jeer at him for being a poor sport but he's quite satisfied with himself. Little does he know, you have a few copies of it in your desktop.
#i just think that#this would happen#also i am stuck at work and trying to free my drafts#and get some traction#im guilty#call of duty#cod#call of duty imagines#call of duty x reader#simon ghost riley#ghost x reader#johnny soap mactavish#johnny mactavish#soap x reader#soap mactavish#sergeant soap#kyle gaz garrick#kyle gaz x reader#kyle gaz garrick x reader#captain john price#simon riley x reader#captain price#captain price x reader#poly141#x female reader#poly shenanigans#poly 141 x reader#crack fic
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" I noticed that you've been smiling more, Lucanis. "
" ...Have I? ...Si, I suppose I have been. "
#lucanis dellamorte#VERY happy w how this turned out#lucanis#dragon age veilguard#dragon age#the idea is that rook and lucanis went on a gondola ride in treviso and both of them are awful at steering it + it tipped over#but the two just look at each other and start laughing like heck#that being said feel free to read this as lucanis w other characters hehe i am 100% for lucanis being happy however way#lucanis x rook#ibon draws#artists on tumblr#the brainworms bc Lucanis is above water but also okay w being in the seawater after a year in the ossuary... i care him sm#veilguard spoilers#id in alt text#chat i love him i'm so cooked. spotify play thats amore#rookanis
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if you post an image in discord itll round the corners, but once you hit a certain smallness it rounds into a circle. so basically if you make an image that is 32x32 and you post it in discord itll go from this
to this.
so you basically can just draw a little face in mspaint or something and paste it into discord and itll look like a little emoji. you can potentially mess around with this a lot, its proportional to your image going smaller and it doesnt have to be a square either.
#I THINK THIS HAS A LOT OF FUN POTENTIAL#discord#i am reblog locking this bc i lack the ability to properly issue corrections (see replies)#and also because getting notes like this causes me some distress#please feel free to issue a version of this post that is more accurate yourself (any reader)#but i will refrain#i still think its fun tho i initially noticed this at the 16 scale where it works regardless#just have fun and express yourself in a carefree manner
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Self-indulgent showtime sketches
#my art#fanart#digital art#the amazing digital circus#tadc#showtime#showtime shipping#pomni x caine#caine x pomni#tadc fanart#look i get that he’s an ai and that she probably hates his guts#but their designs just compliment each other ok??#and they have such a fun dynamic too#i am cringe but i am free#tadc caine#tadc pomni#took me a lot of willpower not to draw them for a while now but the parasites the demons in me….they want me to draw showtime#paine
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Al made a new puppet 🦌✂️🎨
Edit:
#I built up too much pressure in my head for the first drawing of the year so it’s just gonna be this instead 😀#now I am free#hazbin hotel#my doods#hazbin hotel fanart#alastor
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PD-MDZS: The Hallmark Episode.
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#lan wangji#MDZS AU#mdzs modern au#My posting of this comic is equivalent to the classic 'running through airport' scene. Wait! Please! I promised a new comic today!#It's still Christmas somewhere...I can't wait a whole year of sitting on this joke.#This comic is for everyone who does *not* celebrate Christmas. I wish you a wonderful week just the same!#The twist here isn't getting LWJ to get into the Holiday Spirit.#It's getting WWX to shut the hell up.#We still got the meet ugly and the 'city mouse and country mouse' tropes at play though.#Pour one out for LWJ 'If another tourist asks me to play Christmas music on my guqin I am going to start biting'#Pour one directly over the head of 'I need this guy to start biting because it would be hilarious' WWX.#I just think this concept has a lot of good antic potential. Feel free to toss ideas in the comments. I might draw more if I get inspired!
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。゚゚・。・゚゚。 ゚. August will bring blessings.
゚・。・゚
#let’s manifest this shit!#like we do every month#I just gave the keys to my former apartment to its owner#I am now free!!#woohoo!!#moving is stressful AF#anyway. august! I believe in you <3#august#positivity#cottagecore#blessings#affirmations#light acadamia aesthetic#classic academia#month#manifesting
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Why are trans men constantly gaslit about our lived experiences?
We try to talk about how we’re denied reproductive care and are treated as others in gynecological spaces. We should not be outliers or things of ridicule or disgust in these spaces. These are spaces where we should be welcomed like any cis woman would be. We are treated like this even when we need gynecological care because we are trans men.
We try to talk about how TERFs oversexualize us while infantalizing and talking down to us. They act like they have ownership of our bodies, and like we need them to guide us to “accepting” ourselves as women. They do this because we are trans men. People have started calling them TWERFs instead, because they like to believe that we are included on behalf of TERFs wanting to change our minds and bodies, and claiming that they will have open arms for us when we’re “done with our phase.” (Being sexualized is especially true of straight trans men. Gay trans men will be constantly subjected to fatphobic stereotypes, and plenty of things that are just “LIBERAL SJW,” misogynistic stereotypes turned around and used against someone who it’s slightly more acceptable to hurt. This is okay to so many people because we are trans men.)
When we point out any ways that we face oppression, we have 500 people screaming that another group has it worse. Depending on the group, they claim that we’re either privileged men or privileged little girls complaining about nothing.
There is no way for us to win in society’s eyes. We are constantly silenced and spoken over, even by some of our siblings. Trans men deserve to be respected. Trans men deserve to be understood. Trans men deserve to be accepted.
Trans men deserve to be believed.
#trans#transgender#transandrophobia#transmisandry#trans man#trans men#plenty of this is also relatable to other transmascs#I just say trans men because I am one and don’t want to speak for transmasc nonbinary people whose experiences I am not as familiar with#feel free to add on if you’re transmasc or posting in support of us
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Sorry Silco, if you bite, you get the muzzle. Them's the rules
#my art#sketchy sketch#zaundads#vanco#suggestive cw#I can't believe they gave us the gag for free. I am still just#they just did that????? with SILCO????#anyway this is my super self indulgent feel better art#I needed to fanservice myself#you can look at it too#silco is a biter and he has some mean teeth
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at some point it's just like. do they even fucking like the thing they're asking AI to make? "oh we'll just use AI for all the scripts" "we'll just use AI for art" "no worries AI can write this book" "oh, AI could easily design this"
like... it's so clear they've never stood in the middle of an art museum and felt like crying, looking at a piece that somehow cuts into your marrow even though the artist and you are separated by space and time. they've never looked at a poem - once, twice, three times - just because the words feel like a fired gun, something too-close, clanging behind your eyes. they've never gotten to the end of the movie and had to arrive, blinking, back into their body, laughing a little because they were holding their breath without realizing.
"oh AI can mimic style" "AI can mimic emotion" "AI can mimic you and your job is almost gone, kid."
... how do i explain to you - you can make AI that does a perfect job of imitating me. you could disseminate it through the entire world and make so much money, using my works and my ideas and my everything.
and i'd still keep writing.
i don't know there's a word for it. in high school, we become aware that the way we feel about our artform is a cliche - it's like breathing. over and over, artists all feel the same thing. "i write because i need to" and "my music is how i speak" and "i make art because it's either that or i stop existing." it is such a common experience, the violence and immediacy we mean behind it is like breathing to me - comes out like a useless understatement. it's a cliche because we all feel it, not because the experience isn't actually persistent. so many of us have this ... fluttering urgency behind our ribs.
i'm not doing it for the money. for a star on the ground in some city i've never visited. i am doing it because when i was seven i started taking notebooks with me on walks. i am doing it because in second grade i wrote a poem and stood up in front of my whole class to read it out while i shook with nerves. i am doing it because i spent high school scribbling all my feelings down. i am doing it for the 16 year old me and the 18 year old me and the today-me, how we can never put the pen down. you can take me down to a subatomic layer, eviscerate me - and never find the source of it; it is of me. when i was 19 i named this blog inkskinned because i was dramatic and lonely and it felt like the only thing that was actually permanently-true about me was that this is what is inside of me, that the words come up over everything, coat everything, bloom their little twilight arias into every nook and corner and alley
"we're gonna replace you". that is okay. you think that i am writing to fill a space. that someone said JOB OPENING: Writer Needed, and i wrote to answer. you think one raindrop replaces another, and i think they're both just falling. you think art has a place, that is simply arrives on walls when it is needed, that is only ever on demand, perfect, easily requested. you see "audience spending" and "marketability" and "multi-line merch opportunity"
and i see a kid drowning. i am writing to make her a boat. i am writing because what used to be a river raft has long become a fully-rigged ship. i am writing because you can fucking rip this out of my cold dead clammy hands and i will still come back as a ghost and i will still be penning poems about it.
it isn't even love. the word we use the most i think is "passion". devotion, obsession, necessity. my favorite little fact about the magic of artists - "abracadabra" means i create as i speak. we make because it sluices out of us. because we look down and our hands are somehow already busy. because it was the first thing we knew and it is our backbone and heartbreak and everything. because we have given up well-paying jobs and a "real life" and the approval of our parents. we create because - the cliche again. it's like breathing. we create because we must.
you create because you're greedy.
#every time someones like ''AI will replace u" im like. u will have to fucking KILL ME#there is no replacement here bc i am not filling a position. i am just writing#and the writing is what i need to be doing#writeblr#this probably doesn't make sense bc its sooo frustrating i rarely speak it the way i want to#edited for the typo wrote it and then was late to a meeting lol#i love u people who mention my typos genuinely bc i don't always catch them!!!! :) it is doing me a genuine favor!!!#my friend says i should tell you ''thank you beta editors'' but i don't know what that means#i made her promise it isn't a wolf fanfiction thing. so if it IS a wolf thing she is DEAD to me (just kidding i love her)#hey PS PS PS ??? if ur reading this thinking what it's saying is ''i am financially capable of losing this'' ur reading it wrong#i write for free. i always have. i have worked 5-7 jobs at once to make ends meet.#i did not grow up with access or money. i did not grow up with connections or like some kind of excuse#i grew up and worked my fucking ASS OFF. and i STILL!!! wrote!!! on the side!!! because i didn't know how not to!!!#i do not write for money!!!! i write because i fuckken NEED TO#i could be in the fucking desert i could be in the fuckken tundra i could be in total darkness#and i would still be writing pretentious angsty poetry about it#im not in any way saying it's a good thing. i'm not in any way implying that they're NOT tryna kill us#i'm saying. you could take away our jobs and we could go hungry and we could suffer#and from that suffering (if i know us) we'd still fuckin make art.#i would LOVE to be able to make money doing this! i never have been able to. but i don't NEED to. i will find a way to make my life work#even if it means being miserable#but i will not give up this thing. for the whole world.
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