#I just wish it was more normal and cool to just. Do That. bc you can or want to. no explanation or whatever required
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lovesodeepandwideandwell · 4 months ago
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Hate to feel like my friendship is a precious and limited commodity that I have to carefully dole out to the most worthy recipients but. It is and I do.
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chipjrwibignaturals · 11 months ago
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god i wish trans healthcare was just like. a fuckin casual thing. i wish i could go to my doc and be like ‘hey this is the result i want: what hormones & methods would be best to achieve it’ or even just like. ‘hey i wanna try this’. i wish that level of comfort on the topic and respect for bodily autonomy was just a thing instead of having to go so far in depth into diagnosis and full social transition and all that just to get Proper Medical Advice And Treatment
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lyriumlullaby-ao3 · 1 year ago
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god they really did do Justice kinda dirty in da2, huh
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triglycercule · 2 months ago
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i love doodling swapinverse like hello drawing characters aside from the normal mtt is lowkey therapeutic 🧡🧡🧡 anyways i FINALLY FINALLY finished crash's lore!!!! and vice.SER is connected to him,,,, theyre interconnected!!! i forgot how much i liked crash's design (not the design but all the little gimmicks in the design. figuring out all the hanging ribbon bits is annoying but hey it looks good)
#outertale does not exist in swapinverse anymore. how quaint#dude thalia and melpomene are th only ones that r like. 100% good#I NEED TO MAKE MORE GOOD AND NICE CHARACTERS😭😭😭😭#mst..... recreators (qip name 4 siphon n crash?) and vice.SER........ theyre all EVIL (or have evil goals)#i WAS thinking doing something with reaper because i adore his design and aesthetic and i wanna combine it with SOMETHING idk what#anyways if core frisk error which is supposed to be vice.SER exists then should normal core frisk exist too?????#i mean i dont think that just because a core frisk role esque person exists doesnt mean the role is instantly filled up#the mst and mtt co exist in swapinverse but those 3 are like.... NORMAL aus. not outcodss n stuff#i love the giant lance thing i gave crash. i mean the ribbons can form any weapon and take any shape (kinda like puella magi mami's guns)#but like..... it just is so cool i love characters that use multiple weapons#i LOVE (haha) every single little gimmick thing i give swapinverse characters. the tiny details is what i adore giving them#if you catch me not posting 4 a bit its probably just bc im working on swapinverse or jk fashion au. or maybe ive seriously just lost motiva#anyways i have a few banger rants in my drafts ive yet to elaborate om but just like....... i dont feel like it#someon needs to wrangle those posts out of my tired lazy arms#lowkey why do siphon and crash remind me of kanade and mafuyu. idk i cant explain#if you cut vice.ser in half it would be like jelly with binary in it. i wanna eat him#he would tingle on my tongue but thats just the static. eating yhe glasses would be difficult bit they dont have lenses so its ok#i drew them both looking at us but i think that vice.ser is the only true one always looking at US.looking out from inside#god i love swapinverse sooo much i wish i could get it done faster and be goatedly good with motivation. a shame#but i do think that i may be finishing up the character descriptions 500% ish sure#SO THEN THAT MEANS I CAN WORK ON THE ACTUAL STORY!!!! WOOOOO#ive already decided that theres gonna be mentions of me myself and i in it. i love meta storytelling#im cursed with perpetually sweaty hands i hate having to draw on slighty damp paper. nobody understands me#UGH im getting too happy in life im starting to act weird in public and offering to help people. i need to stop#anyways just school doodles!!! because in the period where they take our phones i have naught to do but draw#i need to get back (start) my english reading. and then help my friend with a few questions on her homework. how joyous#and then i can get back to my BETTER homework (working on swapinverse :3)#crash managed to destroy outertale in his lore i wonder how many worlds vice.SER will destroy#actually if hes supposed to be core frisk error then i should make him NOT destroy worlds right???? right#tricule rant
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swagging-back-to · 5 months ago
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i can ONLY make friends through work which sucks bc the only people who apply to work at this job are 15-17yos.
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risingsunresistance · 2 years ago
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afniel · 11 months ago
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AH I REMEMBERED WHAT I WAS GONNA SAY EARLIER but it's kind of stupid, lmao.
So my partner is getting into brewing beer and I got them a Tilt, which is a Bluetooth hydrometer. It measures specific gravity and temperature, which are things you want to know so that you don't kill your yeast or whatever. Except the sensor's Bluetooth range is super short, and it basically runs via a phone app, and the temperature we're logging currently is the crawlspace, accessible via the staircase closet. So they were like, wait, what do we do about this, because I can't leave my phone in the closet, that's my alarm clock.
In a kind of ridiculous turn of life imitating art, I was like, hold up, I got just the thing right at my desk. Bam. Old phone. We just needed to scrounge up a charger because the battery is so dead that after charging just enough to power on it claimed it was at 53% (to be fair to it, there is a very real chance that it's correct, and it just holds no charge at this point so the capacity is just THAT low) and now it lives in the closet logging sensor data.
And I was like, you know...didn't I just solve a major story detail with a much larger version of this...yeah, no, this is all vaguely familiar somehow, power supply issues and all. Kind of cool that the concept works though. Kind of weird that it came up at all?
We are not gonna talk about the fact that I still have at least two more ancient-ass phones in a drawer where that came from because look, man, sometimes you just need a camera/mic/mini computer with Bluetooth and wifi that fits in a pocket, and people just get rid of these things, but not me. I actually could build a shitty security system out of them if I was reaaaally inclined. I mean. I'm not. But it's technically possible.
For real though, If I pick up any stupid maker projects I still high-key am thinking about slapping Bluetooth into a necomimi headset and running that through an Arduino and learning to code just enough to let me skip songs/change the volume on Spotify with my brain, because it's entirely doable, and I mean yeah I could do that on my phone remotely too, but that's not funny, now, is it. I'm just not sure it's $350+ of parts funny. Kind of a big investment just to prove the point that haha look I am the extremely ADHD type of lazy where I would rather solve a problem via the most convoluted and complicated Rube-Goldberg type ass machine way possible rather than just perform a single simple action.
YEAH I'VE BEEN THIS SCATTERED ALL DAY AND I REALLY SHOULD GO TO BED SHOULDN'T I. I started playing Satisfactory. Mistakes were made. I'm going to dream about conveyor belts again and I did it to myself...
#you know I used to mostly blog about witchcraft and paganism#and now I'm like. you know what I want to do? chain an EEG sensor to the Spotify API and skip songs with my brain.#it's kind of like magic when you put it like that. maybe things haven't actually changed that much after all#the headset idea actually came about bc I'd gotten so far into the writing zone that I literally just. tried to skip a song with my brain.#because I had so much reploid characters on my mind that it just sounded like a normal course of action I should be able to take#obviously it didn't work and cue me sitting there for a full 3 seconds going 'why didn't it. wait. why did I think it would?'#followed immediately after by 'YEAH BUT I PROBABLY COULD DO THAT ACTUALLY'#because you just Cannot write a character like Glitch without it rubbing off on you a little bit and WWGD kicked in real hard lmao#well obviously he'd [ridiculous chain of ideas ending in 'anyway I installed some shit and now I can control Spotify with my mind']#and I gotta say I do not like the idea of sticking a sensor on the *inside* of my skull. sounds very bad.#but it doesn't have to be on the inside to work soooo there's that!#I have a friend who for quite a long time had a rare earth magnet in one finger so he could find live wires by touch#he ended up removing it for work eventually but when I say I was jelly. man. but also kinda squeamish about it.#I do not like sharp things and I am Very funny about my fingers as an artist/writer/used to be musician.#but man that sounds cool. I want the magnet senses. I don't think I want them enough to have a magnet under my skin though#I think I wouldn't use them enough for that to be helpful actually lmao#anyway do I even need more senses? probably not. mine are already unfiltered and loud as shit.#'boy I wish I could sense magnetic fields' says idiot guy who can hear the mains hum even with no electronics currently turned on#like when the power goes out I can FEEL the fucking difference in the air and it's unnaturally quiet and kinda spooky#I do not think I need help on this front actually. I think I got it handled pretty okay lol
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skitskatdacat63 · 2 years ago
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I think I mentioned it here before but I wrote some paper for a class where I used F1 interviews(like the post-race press pen) as examples, right? My prof asked if she could use it as a sample work for future classes omg!!! But mostly I'm cackling evilly over the fact that F1 is forever memorialized in that paper, I hope someone in the future reads it and is like "...wait a minute" 😭
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elytrafemme · 1 year ago
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friendship is cool bc you get to have these funny little guys who make you happy and become a better person or whatever and laugh a lot. but then there’s the horrors (trying to see and message them frequently enough when you know you can’t possibly juggle all of them all at once and never knowing the best answer)
#nightmare.personal#maybe i tell my irls to fuck off for a week so i can just get to work repairing all my online relationships#i won't actually do that but like. my social battery is so fucked#also there's the other issues but we don't talk aboutu those <- diseased interpersonally#we do talk abt those a lot but im turning over a new leaf to be normal#this is late night confessionals. hi i know cool people. wish i fucking knew how to talk to anybody#its so stupid too bc when i message them or join a vc everyone accepts me like i was never gone and is friendly and kind and all that#but then it's like. do ppl think im not committing. do they think i don't care#and like how do i convince people i care when im barely here and barely know whats going on#idk. wish klav was here he's better at fucking online things i think#i think im doing good socializing with my irls at least. like scheduling hangouts#when my gf comes back i need to see her like asap bc my brain is fucking obliterating itself but thats unrelated#sorry this is litrally late night thoughts#dont rb btw#my irl social life is better and i think part of me sees that as more important?#like obviously all my friends are important to me diffeerently but. if i disappear on an irl for a while they'll give me shit for it#versus online that's just life you know but. i don't know.#sometimes i wonder if my online friends know how much they mean to me and i realize they probably don't and i get scared#and then i wonder how all of them have to feel about me at that point and we don't really have to go into that but like#i don't know. it's always a little a lot scary#and people seem to be so natural at doing this online but i meanwhile just fucking can't#i'm allergic to discord servers its a thing. except the one im active in which makes me happy but i still forget to talk there all the time#so im still allergic but im choosing to partake. its like the lactose intolerance of the whole group
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aro-attorneys · 2 years ago
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AA6 is very enjoyable again btw
#just fyi theres gonna be spoilers in these tags#so i kinda felt a low in 6-3 which is odd bc that's the Maya case#idk I'm also not a fan of Nahyuta#so each trial was kind of...sitting it out#like i get that Mean Prosecutor to Likeable Prosecutor pipeline is kind of The Thing#(except klavier)#but Nahyuta straight up mentally abusing you and insulting you with childish insults is just...idk#he's not even a good prosecutor lol#ANYWAY 6-4 was amazing and I wish Athena got more than just the one trial#she deserved more#Geiru was amazing and I came all this way just for her and it was worth it#i was kind of dreading 6-5 bc i knew it was gonna be long and Apollo centered and I'm....not that interested in Apollo?#dont get me wrong I *like* Apollo. and aa4 is a great game too#but you could tell in DD that they didn't know what to do next#so they shoehorned Clay in there and it was so inorganic that I couldn't bring myself to invest in it#but I love Dhurke. i love Apollo's dynamic w Dhurke. it's a bit of a stretch that Apollo *never* mentioned Khura'in before but I'll take it#SO ANYWAY investigation 1 has been REAL FUN#and I'm now in the trial and I'm laughing my ass off because I DIDNT EXPECT TO HAVE A NORMAL CIVIL CASE??#and also i went from 'oh cool im going against phoenix :)' to 'oh no im going against phoenix :/'#the moment he's in front of you he's immediately this mysterious hard-to-read attorney#it's consistent Phoenix characterisation and i love it#cant wait#also theyre all so super dramatic abt this like apollo and phoenix are now sworn enemies forever#besties it's technically Just a Case about legal ownership#i understand that there's Stakes but man#so uh...yeah i found the motivation to finish this game#and then I'll be done. I'll have played every aa game
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jvzebel-x · 7 months ago
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🦋
#sometimes i get really sad about my life you know? like. really sad about it lmao. for various reasons.#like it would be really cool to be normal. very often i just wish i was normal lmao.#but then i remember meeting this guy while i was homeless&he had everything that i late 20s/early 30s college grad would want#stable&well paying job in the field he actually went to college for#rented part of a banging a duplex that had a yard allowed dogs&was a five minute walk from downtown bar crawl area#had both one of my fave motorcycles-- an r6--&one of my all time dream cars-- a 6speed cts-v.#i presume a dating life from the tampons that were in his bathroom.#&yet. he was miserable from what i could tell lmao. &it was weird bc it was like he didnt realize that#until he met us lmao. i would be more annoyed by that. i was v annoyed by it at the time lmao. the amount of weird jealousy i dealt w while#fucking homeless+sick is disgusting&ill never forgive fucking anyone for it&a part of me will always be dead+rotted bc of it lmao.#but for him it was different in the way of. i could kind of understand it lmao.#he had come from a rough background from what i understand&was a success story.#&yet he clearly felt trapped in his own life. clearly felt like he was surrounded by things he should be more grateful for while none of it#filled the hole in him ppl like him are PROMISED success will fill. being apart of the status quo but on the good end will alleviate.#he had been in one accident&never rode his bike again. when i asked why he lied&told me the bike was unrideable bc he didnt know me lmao#&when i asked if there had been any damage past the obvious dent in the gas tank he got red+quiet+changed the topic.#he worked at some big bank&didnt bother trying to brag bc the one thing he DID know about me is that i am v anti bank+leftist lmao.#he considered himself a leftist too until he talked to me&realized he was actually v centrist in basically every view he had#&that centrism came from a desire to keep his privileges as a cis white straight man-- something that made him openly embarassed.#he used to deal thru college&when i met him he couldnt keep up w one round of dabs w me something that also obviously embarassed him.#he had surrounded himself w ppl just like him&was jarred upon meeting anyone outside of that bubble who wasnt a far right asshole.#&he didnt like what he saw about himself. &that was really obvious.#when we left his place after the brief week we were staying there he was literally in tears about how much he wanted to come.#to help&see where we ended up or whatever idk lmao. i guess im still actively annoyed by it lmao.#but i still get it on some level. when you reach the top&realize youre not fucking happy where do you go from there?#will a house do it? will moving to a different location for your same bullshit job do it? will meeting a girl exactly like you do it?#&when i want to be normal so bad it physically hurts i remember him&i think maybe things arent so bad lmao.#like it could be worse i guess lmao.
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lemonlover1110 · 10 months ago
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Hello! I hope you are doing well 😌 you are my fav writer and I just wanted to to throw out this crazy brainrot request to u bc I am SICK over it
So Florence nightingale syndrome right? Toji is like a professional boxer or whatever something athletic bc he's a fucking beast and he gets hurt, like his leg or something, and you become his at home occupational therapist. So you're like taking care of him and he's getting feelings for you while also being a stubborn ass bc u push him constantly so he can get better. and he's super hesitant to accept his feelings bc he's a Playboy of course.
I'm just picturing this one scene where you're helping him up and he's leaning on you and he says something like "are you sure you can handle me princess?" Idk I'm insane I'm sorry 😭😭😭😭
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Pairing: boxer!Toji Fushiguro x f!caregiver!Reader
Warnings: Fluff, frustrated Toji, Florence nightingale syndrome, Toji has an injured leg and is a little bitch for a bit
*This was so fun to work on and now I'm having thinking a little too hard about boxer toji (I'm ovulating) sofjsof enjoy!
Discord 18+ - Twitter - Ko-Fi
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Toji never really thought he’d be dependent on someone, yet now he can’t even take a shower standing up. After an unlucky boxing match, Toji ended up in a cast and crutches. That’s what he gets for not listening to his son who told him it was around time to retire.
“I’m not a fucking skeleton, I’m good in my field. I can do this for a couple more years.” How he wishes he could swallow his fucking words. He thought that after getting the cast off he’d go back to normal, and he’d have no issue with mobility. He shouldn’t have an issue moving his fucking leg again, he’s been moving it for more than thirty years, why should three months of not moving it change much?
Apparently he can’t do anything, which is why he has someone with him all day every day, helping him so he can get better. Toji’s main issue? He gets frustrated when someone tries to help him. 
“Be careful, it’s hot.” You smile at him as you put his dinner in front of him. He has a scowl on his face as you set it down in front of him. He tried to help make dinner but he couldn’t stand for too long. He’s mad, but not at you. He could never be mad at you. 
Toji wasn’t necessarily fond of you when you started working with him; he hates being dependent on someone else, and he knew that he would have to depend on you for pretty much everything. You try to help him though, and he should be more appreciative of you because of it, but in reality he feels like a fucking baby. He’s grown to like you though… A little too much for his liking. 
You leave him to eat, going to wash the dishes since he can’t do the task yet. Perhaps his own bowl and spoon, but not everything that needs to be cleaned. You watch him from the counter, watching his refusal to pick up the spoon and eat the soup you made him. Earlier he was so prideful, telling you that he would help you every step of the way during dinner, and he couldn’t even finish one third of it. You were proud of him regardless.
“It’s really good, Toji! The potatoes you helped peel really added a touch to it.” You’ve gotten close enough to be on a first name basis. You see each other every day, you stay in the same house, of course you’re close enough to talk to each other so casually. It doesn’t mean you should though. You’ve always managed to keep a very professional relationship with patients, but there’s just something about him that makes it hard for you to be normal around him.
“Don’t talk to me like I’m a fucking kid.” He says, pushing the bowl of soup away. He’s not hungry anymore. Toji stands up, his hands holding on to the table to support himself before grabbing his crutches. 
“Toji, if you’re not eating it, can you try to bring it over to me, please?” You ask. You know the soup has cooled down, if he spills it, he’ll be fine.
“If you want it, pick it up yourself.” Toji is clearly mad. You don’t take it to heart though, because you know it’s with himself and not you. 
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“How about we go to the park tomorrow? It’s supposed to be a nice day out.” You talk to Toji who tries to watch a documentary. He’s not all that interested in what he put on, caring more about what you have to say. He might not show it, and he tries to deny it, but he has the biggest soft spot for you. “We can also get some ice cream, if you’re in the mood!”
“Hey… I’m sorry about earlier. I was just—” It’s hard to get an apology out of him, but sometimes he knows he’s in the wrong and he feels the need to apologize. He doesn’t want you to be mad at him, even though you’re clearly not upset with him. You’re so understanding and patient with him, he feels like he doesn’t deserve that.
“You’re fine, Toji.” You reassure him with a smile, your hand going over his balled up fist. You feel your heart skip a beat as you touch him. You’ve crossed the line past a professional relationship, and you should set some boundaries within yourself– But his other hand goes on top of your own before he brings it up, softly kissing your knuckles. It’s hard to set boundaries when he feels the same way.
“I’m tired.” He tells you, and you stand up to help him get up. Toji usually denies your help, but this time, he has no problem accepting it. You just want the best for him, and there’s some things that he can’t do completely alone. He has to take baby steps. He’s using you for support, and he’s scared that he’s too heavy for you. He asks you, “Are you sure, princess? Can you handle me? I know I’m pretty big.”
“You’re fine. I can handle you.” You reassure him, and you begin to walk to his bedroom. His room was previously on the second floor, but ever since his injury, he’s moved his bedroom to the first floor. You get him to his bedroom, helping him on the bed. You smile at him before saying, “Let me grab your crutches. You left them in the living room, right?”
Before you can walk away, he grabs your sleeve. Toji’s slowly realizing that he can’t fight off the feelings that consume him when you help him, and he’s usually not a fan of them. Toji’s been tied down once before, he certainly doesn’t want that again. But with you, it’s different. He doesn’t mind the idea.
“Will you lay down with me?” He asks, and you suck in your bottom lip between your teeth. You shouldn’t. He caresses your cheek with the back of his hand before he prompts himself up to kiss the corner of your mouth.
“Toji, you know this isn’t something I can do.” You tell him as he looks lovingly into your eyes. “I’m here to help you get better.”
“You can help me get better by laying down next to me.” Toji responds. You grab the hand that so lovingly touches your cheek and kiss it, before bringing your lips down to meet his momentarily. He swears he hears fireworks when your lips meet, even after you pull away.
He’s most definitely in love with you.
“I’ll go get your crutches. Good night, Toji.”
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titaswrld · 4 months ago
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I have a request for a deadpool fic, if you could make a very angsty story where deadpool thinks he is undeserving of love and never thinks someone in this world would fall for him 😭 he is self-conscious about his looks and never in his right mind it crossed him that he has a chance with the reader, but he would do anything just to feel loved. he's just a constantly depressed ball of sadness, and the only way he copes with his thoughts is his dark humor. while the reader is head over heels for that man, and she's showering him in love, but he only thinks it's because they're friends 😭🫶🏼
monster
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description: wade wilson being insecure about his looks, not knowing if the girl he loves would ever love him back.
paring: wade wilson x reader!
contains: angst! with happy ending (i didn’t know how to end it😭)
w.c: 1.2k
|an: finally writing forreals again! i needed to get back into it. thank u for ur request, i hope u like it😇 reader is a baker bc i couldn’t think of a more wholesome career path😭
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you’ve known your best friend, wade wilson, for almost a year now. starting off as just occasional friends, hanging out at each other's apartments, watching chick flicks, and eating your weight in junk food until your friendship grew into something deeper, feeling nothing but love and admiration for another and the desire to be something more.
he’s so in love with you; he knows that now. he tried to deny it; he tried telling himself there’s no way, there’s absolutely no way a woman as intelligent, as confident, and as kind as you could ever love a monster like him. He knew you deserved better—a handsome, young, intelligent accountant or something.
his field of work is dangerous; he knows that. killing random people he doesn’t even know for cash. large sums of cash, sure. but, nonetheless, killing. he honestly always found it humorous, a trained marksman, mercenary, and vigilante , with his super cool awesome, still in school to become a pâtissière best friend!
he knew you’d leave; he knew no human being on planet earth could bear even looking at his rough, bumpy skin. that’s why he’s yet to show you his face, never failing to wear his mask around you, even though you’ve known each other for so long now. he didn’t know why you were still around after all this time even with the mask on, he knew most people found him to be annoying, aggravating, and just an all around piece of shit person, but for some reason, you liked him, and you enjoyed being around him.
he’s never had someone so close to him, as you are with him. you’re so kind, so affectionate, and so touchy. he thinks it’s just pity, you’d never think of him as anything more than a friend.
he dreamt of being the man who loved you the rest of your life; he wished that he could fall asleep and wake up to your face every day, make you laugh every day, eat every meal with you, watch every movie and every show, spend every holiday together, fuck, even start a family. he craved you. he craved your love, your care, and your kindness; he wanted to be normal with you, but he’s not normal, far from it. he knew better than that. he knew he didn’t deserve that. he would never be the man that you love.
he’s not ready to let you go, but he can’t keep his feelings for you inside any longer. he honestly dug himself into an even deeper hole, choosing to come over almost every free night he had. he couldn’t stay away from you; he hated being away from you. during every mission and every fight, all he thought about was coming home to you. you’re the only person who truly understood him for the man that he is, and he loves you for that. he’s never opened up to anybody the way that he’d opened up to you. you were special, so special to him. he was terrified.
you felt hopeless, stupid, and desperate. every advance you made, you’d failed. from baking him his favorite treats, to holding his hand while you watched a movie on the couch, to giving him hugs that lasted a little longer than necessary after a long mission, you couldn’t get your best friend out of your mind, not if you tried. hou crave him, his love, his care, his stupid fucking jokes that never end, his sarcastic nature, his sass—you don’t think you have ever loved a man the way that you love wade.
sometimes, he made you think that he might like you back, that he might have some sort of romantic interest in you, but it was quickly shut down after he made a joke, basically telling you that it would never happen.
you and wade were sitting on the couch, just talking, telling stories, and catching up after a particularly long time apart. until you had thought of a statement, that could’ve told you whether or not wade may or may not feel the same way.
your best friend, mia, had mistaken you and wade for a couple while on the phone. when you denied her statement, she apologized, saying she’s sorry for assuming, but you did spend all your time together..
when you told wade what she said, he doubled down in laughter before spitting out, “you? me? never. who is this friend? have i met her? has she seen me before? you might need to get her 5150’d.”
which did shatter your heart into a million pieces, but nonetheless, it wouldn’t stop you from trying to show him how much you care, how much you want to be with him, and how much you want to love him. he deserved love, and you wanted to give it to him.
each time he made a self-deprecating joke, it broke your heart. it was torture for you. the most he would ever do is lift his mask slightly when he ate with you, only to pop a piece of food in his mouth, then sheathe his face with his mask once again to chew, repeating the process until he’d finished. but even then, you never looked out of respect.
there were multiple occasions where you could’ve snuck a peek, where you could’ve turned around and saw his full face, but you knew how genuinely insecure he felt and how scared he was for you to see his face, so you never looked, not wanting to betray his trust or make him uncomfortable. you loved him, and you wish he understood that absolutely nothing could change that. especially not the way he looks.
today, you were sat on your couch, waiting for him to arrive. He said he’d be over tonight for the usual—rom-coms and junk food. but today, you felt different, your balls finally dropped, and you were ready to admit how you felt, whether it was a good or bad outcome, you were ready.
every single worst-case scenario clouded your thoughts, making your palms sweaty and causing a deep ache in your chest until you heard a knock at your door, saving you from plummeting even farther into your head.
you open the door, and time feels slow motion. you didn’t see deadpool; you saw wade for the first time- the real wade. standing there with an anxious expression plastered across his mottled face, snacks in one hand and flowers ripped from the dirt outside of your apartment complex in the other.
your stomach dropped along with your expression, the shock stunning you into place as you began to gather your thoughts. this is what he was hiding, you thought. jesus christ, all of that trouble for this? you could almost hit him.
wade, on the other hand, paced in your hallway, back and forth for 15 minutes before this, trying to decide whether he should just bail and leave the fucking country or finally stop being pussy and just show you his goddamn face.
after seeing your initial reaction, his head dropped, his gaze on the floor, as he muttered, “i know. total freak show, right? freddy kruger? craterface? cmon, lay it on me.”
now was your chance, as you cupped his face with your hands and pressed your soft lips against his dry, cracked ones. you felt his tense muscles drop and relax as he melted into the kiss, relishing in the feeling and making sure it was real, too.
you’d pulled away, looking him in the eyes and flashing a smile his way before placing kisses all over his cheeks, forehead, nose, and chin.
your gaze fell across his face once again, this time meeting you with a shit-eating grin plastered across his face.
“so— ten things i hate about you, or steel magnolias?”
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drdemonprince · 10 days ago
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so first off, sorry bc this is super fucking heavy.
re: commonalities between cis and trans men, and that other ask. something I've had to come to terms with is how even as a teenager before I had the concept of transitioning in my head - I still got all of the societal messaging wrt misogyny, etc. I totally benefited from it, even as a woman. I put other girls down. I was the cool chick. I cashed in where I could with it. i was absolutely a chauvinist when I transitioned. I felt inhuman as a woman, but I understood that ultimately that's the way women were *supposed* to be, as much as I wished otherwise. it took a long time to unlearn that.
my personal experience makes me very uncomfortable when I see other trans men talking about gendered socialization, or how overly negative people are towards men as a class. I wonder if they have ever sat down and really reconciled with the way they have, and do, benefit from their gendered position, or if they've convinced themselves they can't be a "bad person" by virtue of their birth sex.
I can't find a nuanced way to talk about this that won't be read in bad faith as essentialist rhetoric. rape culture is the system by which consent violation is normalized, its all the music and books and movies and bad relationships I assumed were normal and romantic as a young adult. I really, really hurt people, and I did it as men are encouraged to do, and as they are rewarded for doing. I found affirmation in hurting people, and it is so fucking easy to do this without even really thinking of it because it's the entire culture you've come up in.
I'm not even talking like, obvious cases here like phyrical domestic abuse & intentional date rape. there are so many subtle boundary erosions, there's weird gray areas around drugs & alcohol, there's attitudes and expectations in established relationships, there's the potential to exploit community for personal gain. there are partners who will fear you, and freeze and fawn and will not tell you "no."
a lot of the "we need a special word for masculine transphobia" types seem to also disavow the possibility that they hold male privelege. but we need to look at that shit, sexual or otherwise. it's scary to see guys who see women talking about it and they knee-jerk shout back "I'm not a rapist" and "not all men." guarantee some of them are, and just aren't aware of it. i was.
Thank you so much anon for this really brave, candid message. I think it's something that a lot of the trans guys crowing in my inbox about how cis men "are the bad gender" need to hear. (yes, someone literally said that to me). Portraying gendered categories, especially ones based on birth assignment!, as ontologically more evil or pure than others sets people up for abuse. Separating cis men out from trans men erases the ways in which trans guys can both leverage power and the ways in which toxic masculine norms are transmitted culturally to everyone regardless of assigned sex at birth. Lots of trans guys are palpably uncomfortable with their power, and can only see that relative to cis men, they experience transphobia and misogyny in greater amounts, and so they presume they must be in a highly victimized category. But they dont ever consider that as men they can and do often wield power over women -- especially trans women -- and they've got to fucking learn how to handle that reality responsibly, which many cis men actually do know how to fucking do. Especially multiply marginalized cis men who have been preyed upon and exploited themselves.
I think it's really powerful to hear you taking ownership of the actions you've taken that have hurt others, and the allure such actions had. Very few people have the courage to look their lower moments in the face and affirm that it's actually a part of them. If we're ever going to stop abusing and talking over women we've got to own up to our shit. I've seen what can happen when men come together to be vulnerable about their struggles, own their wrongdoing, and seek to change -- back when I was working in a men's drug treatment program. We can overcome this shit and take responsibility. But a lot of the birthday boy trans guy squad is incensed by even the idea of owing anything to anyone. Like a lot of MRAs.
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sparklingcid3r · 1 month ago
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Do you have thoughts on Darry's pov about Pony getting jumped
If you guys ever want to just have a terrible night, go back and reread the way Pony describes Darry in the first chapter. It’s actually brutal and I can’t believe he let Darry read it😭🙏 He wanted that A bad
Because I swear, yall don’t need my thoughts on Darry’s pov because Pony is pretty much gifting to us, it’s just that it’s muddied by his own personal bias/narration that you miss just how much characterization Darry gets. If you take out Pony’s internal thoughts, you’d think Darry was the tamest/most thoughtful of the bunch through actions alone, even if he comes off a little heated.
I’m gonna go ahead and do it here anyway to show you what I mean. We’ll go in order from Darry’s first appearance to the end of the chapter, but I’m only giving you his actions and his dialogue. Toss up a prayer now bc Darry is done FILTHYYYY
(ignore my highlights, i j started annotating lol)
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Immediately we’re introduced to Darry as the person who’s literally getting Pony back on his feet. He’s shaking Pony by the shoulders to get him to respond because he doesn’t always realize his own strength compared to Pony’s. This is probably the relationship he has with most of the gang since he’s most likely the one working out the most consistently of them all, what with his job and gym runs.
But when Pony tells Darry to stop, it’s not like Darry glares at him and says “I’m just checking on you.” Instantly, he recognizes he’s being too rough and apologizes.
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This is a few lines later, after the description of Darry and their father, but Darry’s still the only one talking at this point. I thought it was interesting that he jams his fists into his pockets, and my thoughts are that he’s physically restraining himself from Pony as to not hurt him worse, especially since he’s asking Pony how badly he’s just been hurt.
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This is Darry’s reaction to Soda calling Pony an okay kid and Pony grinning in response and calling Soda crazy. It’s the most sibling thing I’ve ever seen idk, especially when Darry just grins at Soda’s teasing and lets it go. It’s literally Darry being a softie in front of Pony, but it just doesn’t click for Pony yet give him a minute he’ll get there🙏 in two hundred more pages
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I was pretty surprised when I went back and read the book. For some reason I misremembered Darry as being completely hypocritical whenever talking to Pony about school smarts vs street smarts, but he’s pretty much going out of his way to compliment Pony here.
And I mean, these are pretty tame bites at Pony, overall he’s being pretty lighthearted with his words. I wasn’t reading this with an angry Darry in mind, just an exasperated one that wishes his brother thought about his own safety more often so Darry didn’t have to do it for him.
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Y’all probably remember this from the movie lmao, I love Patrick Swayze’s portrayal of Darry, I think he nails the character completely. Darry’s so obviously not angry at Pony here, especially not when he’s laying off when Soda tells him to.
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Dally is figuring out who’s going to the Nightly Double with him, and I was surprised by Darry’s reaction. Canonically he doesn’t even like movies, Pony literally said it a few pages ago, so he’s either faking his disappointment (lmao) or would have actually gone for Dally, which was wild to think about.
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So this was also pretty interesting. Even when I was a kid, my parents let me go outside and play with the neighbors for hours at a time, pretty much until it got dark. Things were veryyy different in the 60s, where it was normal for parents to go to sleep with their kids out in the night and wake up with them home, weekends especially. When considering that their parents are yk, dead, Darry wanting Pony to keep his grades in check on the weekdays only and handing off the reins on the weekend is pretty cool of him imo lol
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And this was just adorable
But that’s it, the rest of the chapter is Soda and Pony talking about Darry, and then Pony’s internal monologue about how much he doesn’t need Darry and doesn’t care about him, but that he knows he lying to himself :(
Their relationship is one of the single greatest things in the book and honestly, Hinton makes it clear from the beginning what Pony realizes later: that Darry never once “didn’t care” about Pony or thought of him as a burden. Maybe he’s overbearing sometimes, but for someone who has so much pressure on him nearly all the time, he does a pretty good job with what he’s given 🤷‍♀️
His biggest flaw is his inability to communicate how he’s actually feeling to Pony, who he should know by now doesn’t take well to visual cues. But other than that, gold star for Darry Curtis!⭐️
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thebellearchives · 1 year ago
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Belle my BELOVED!!
If I may graciously request fluff prompt number 12 for our husband inumaki 🖤 maybe a friends to lovers situation bc I’m a whore for tropes (or quite literally any direction it inspires you to go- bc all your jjk writing it chefs kisses 🤌🏻)
Forehead kitheth for u bestie muah okaybye
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𝐌𝐎𝐕𝐈𝐄 𝐒𝐂𝐑𝐄𝐄𝐍 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄
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~ inumaki toge ; jujutsu kaisen
✧˚ · . S Y N O P S I S : this is it: the romantic movie night you once daydreamed about, so is it gonna go down as it did in your head days ago?
‧₊˚ c o n t e n t s : gn!reader, fluff, sequel to the romance alley, friends to lovers, onigiri words are in japanese
‧₊˚ a / n : girl you’re in for a ride because this is the longest request i’ve written for now, like can you blame me? IT’S INUMAKI, of course I went overboard what were we expecting, i’m down bad for him ): Anyways, I know you loved romance alley so here you go, a second part 🫶🏻
i also got requests for this prompt with sukuna and gojo, so i’m gonna link those here for whenever i post them
Toge ver. || Sukuna ver. || Gojo ver.
prompt list
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So there you two were. Just like you had imagined: sitting in front of your TV, lights off and a fluffy blanket covering you both. In the screen the lead protagonists were laying in bed in front of each other, trying to hold hands despite the girl being just a ghost. By then your eyes would’ve been tearing up like they always did whenever you watched this movie, but this time wasn’t like the others.
Ever since you and your friends had gotten back from the shop two days ago you and Toge had been in this situation where you’d glance at each other constantly and yet tried to play it cool in front of the others. Your touches would linger, the smiles were usually accompanied by a small sigh. But then you’d both quickly pretend everything was normal again. Your friends had probably caught up with the fact that something was going on anyways, but since no one had said a word you both didn’t either.
And now you were watching your favourite movie with him. In your couch, alone. So close you could reach for his hand like you had wanted to before that kiss at the shop.
And your eyes would wander from the bright screen of your TV to those soft, shiny lips and the way he’d use one of his fangs to nibble on the straw of his drink.
And your face would flush wishing he was nibbling on your lip instead.
Fuck, you looked away once again.
Your eyes felt like they were on fire by now, staring at the screen so hard that you could’ve damaged it permanently if they were daggers. But after a minute or two you looked at him again, this time staring at his eyes. Long, white lashes that framed his beautiful violet irises. He blinked once, twice, line of sight never moving away from the screen.
With a smile you went back to the movie. The protagonist was rushing through the streets in an ambulance, coming up with the most insane plan to get his lover back. Your favourite part was coming up soon, you glanced towards Toge once more just to find him typing away in his phone.
“Toge!” you frowned, then reached for a pillow to hit him in the head with it “what are you doing?!”
He giggled, shrinking in his own space in reaction to the hit.
“Tuna” he shook his phone in his hand and staring back at you as if the answer wasn’t obvious enough: texting.
“Who are you even texting?!”
Toge tapped the screen. Suddenly your phone ringed.
“You were texting me?” your eyes widened and your face turned red in embarrassment “… sorry”
Toge’s little snickers reached your ears as your hands searched across the blanket. While trying to find your phone the sound of the text notifications ringed two more times.
“I thought we were watching the movie, why are you staring at me so much?”
“ 'wHo aRe yOu tExTiNg ?! '
why do you wanna know? are you jealous (:? ”
“You idiot” you hit him with the pillow once again and he laughed out loudly this time “of course I’m not jealous, why would I be jealous?! don’t be ridiculous!”
“Shake, shake!” he fought off your pillow attacks with his arms.
“I just wanted to make sure you were paying attention to the movie!”
“Tch” he rolled his eyes and moved close to you “tuna mayo?”
The sorcerer pointed to you, then to your eyes and then at himself, raising an eyebrow.
“I wasn’t staring at you like that, i just wanted to see your reactions to the movie, obviously”
Toge snorted, incredulously.
“I’m telling the truth!” you tried to push him away but he caught your hand in his, bringing you even closer.
“Okaka” he shook his head.
He placed his index on your forehead, then on your lips, and then placed it over his own lips.
“You think I want to kiss you?” immediately a complicit smile brightened his face, he nodded and chuckled at how quickly you picked up what he meant “you’re becoming insufferable ever since you kissed me, you know that? where is all this confidence coming from?”
Toge rolled his eyes and then pointed at you once again.
“Duh”
You couldn’t help but laugh at that.
“Me? Oh I see, the moment I start sneaking glances at you throughout a movie you get all smug”
Chuckling, he ended up resting his head on your shoulder, his frame shaking from his laughter.
“Fine. Yes, I’ve been thinking about it the whole time” you whispered, smiling, he held your other hand too.
“Mhmm” he knew. He totally knew.
So he raised his head and placed a kiss on your cheek. Then underneath your jaw. Then on the corner of your lips.
“Toge!” giggling, you tried to pull back, but he squeezed your hands and made sure to keep you in place.
Until he finally kissed your lips, tilting his head slightly and pulling you close until your body was over his and his back was leaned backwards. His arms slithered their way around your waist and you clung from his shoulders, kissing him back.
None of you noticed, but in your TV screen the two protagonists shared a sweet kiss too.
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